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j0kers-light · 10 months

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His Lighthouse: She Knows (LedgerJoker x f!reader)

She Knows

series summary:

Y/n is an aspiring writer living in Gotham City and struggling to find her next muse. Her recent novel is getting all the buzz, earning her far more attention than she signed up for. But when a chance encounter results in her nursing The Joker back to health, will she find the time to write another best seller or will her own story become front page of the Gotham Gazette?

chapter summary:

A series of events led you to this exact moment where you and Joker's worst nightmare finally came true. She knew and you had no doubt she would tell the world.

author’s note:

WARNING CLIFFHANGER AHEAD (again)

Wow! Funny how I’m late but updating on a Wednesday of all days... anyhoo hope everyone had a great Fourth of July if you’re state side. Be petty and listen to She Knows by J. Cole. I had way too much fun adding in memes and pop culture references into this chapter! If you don’t understand one, do message me! I’d be more than happy to explain!

taglist:

@blackreaderatrisk @twinkledinkle @clemdango04 @l3ejm @tears-of-amber @what-an-angel @darthjokerisyourfather @thatsnoteii @dollster @cheetahspy @kaidennnnn @urdariingdoll

Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!

Last Chapter | Next Chapter

A series of events led you to this exact moment.

You were in your apartment being accused of everything to Metropolis and back. The accuser happened to be your friend and she wasn't holding anything back.

"How long have you two been together? Y'all were on some secret bull___t that night at the club, I should've known then! Of all people why him, Y/n? Have you lost your mind?!"

The questions kept coming with no end in sight.

Florence was in full rage mode, pointing her coffin acrylics in your face, well on the verge of hysterics. Your audience wasn't too far behind. It was utter chaos in your dining room. Neo braved the fray and tried to tone Florence down but she smacked his hands away and whirled on him instead.

"I don't wanna hear s__t from you!"

"Flo baby—" He tried again until Florence dismissed him with a flip of her middle finger.

"F__k you! I'll deal with you later! Right now, Y/n gotta own up to her s__t! It's the least she can do!"

You glanced at the group of people gathered around your dinner table and sighed. This was beyond embarrassing but unfortunately it was happening all because Dick couldn't keep his mouth shut.

The culprit sat watching the drama unfold with a smug grin on his face. Times like this you hated him so much..

This was all his fault.

He backed you into a corner that you couldn't run from. You were tired of hiding and lying to everyone but that wasn't the point. It wasn't Dick's business to tell and now you were in the hot seat because he decided to meddle. They deserved to know the truth.. but how would you begin to clear up the air and set the facts straight?

"Florence.. please just calm down, and let me explain.."

The sad thing is; you never got the chance to.

Four days ago...

You looked up at Dick when he leaned his forearms on the counter. "So, Y/n? When do I get to meet Prince Charming?"

You were speechless. All you could do was blink as your brain did a full Windows shutdown. You felt like throwing up, curling up into a ball, and screaming out into the ether all at once.

In no way, shape, or form, was this happening. You shook your head and glanced down at the gossip magazine still in your hands. Did Joker know about all this? Was this the mysterious contents of the manila folder you found back at the beach house?

No, you were confident that J would've told you if he knew beforehand.

This was bad news for both you and his career. You were a popular author nationwide with a cult following on social media. You were set to frontline GothCon in a few months and promo ads and interviews about your most recent book were still circulating within the media. Despite all of the buzz, it had been a while since you were followed by paparazzi. You weren't the most exciting person, so you weren't entirely sure what piqued their interest.

Joker would be livid when he found out he was captured twice on camera.

He was still a wanted criminal, going almost three months strong in hiding. This could ruin everything between you and him. Right before it could officially start.

You were rereading the article when Dick spoke up. "Oh and I talked to your mom."

You almost snapped your neck with how fast you looked up. He mentioned it so casually as if he didn't already drop a bomb on your Monday. "You did what?"

"Y/n, please keep up with me here. I talked to Mom. You haven't called her in three weeks! That's tots not like you. Anyways, she and I got to scheming and get this–"

It concerned you with just how close Dick was to your parents. More on that later you suppose. Something told you this next bit wouldn't be good.

"They're coming to visit! I know, I know. It's very last minute, but your dad and I are gonna bbq and I already invited everyone else so you don't have to worry." He beamed from your island counter.

Such a shame you were anything but ecstatic.

Was this a prank of some sort? Did you hit your head over the weekend? Was this a fever dream? You lived in Gotham City for a year now and your parents never came to visit. Not because they didn't love you, more so, both parties involved had conflicting work schedules.

They couldn't have picked a better time to visit. This was all way too much for your brain to process.

"Dick, what? I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Run that back! You can't just make plans with my parents at my place and NOT TELL ME!" You shouted.

You watched him roll his crystal blue eyes, the same ones girls in this city, (and in Blüdhaven) swooned over. When you first met Dick you had to admit, his suave demeanor piqued your interest too.

You quickly got over that silly crush. His attitude was a piece of work. Speaking of... He smirked, "I just did."

As much as you loved Dick Grayson, you wanted to kill him right about now. You sat the magazine down and wiped your face with a groan.

"Hooooooooo my God! You're just like Cindy making it impossible for me to rain check things! When is this happening? Not like my input matters but it'll be nice to know when."

You just spent a relaxing four day vacation away from the city only to return and be forced into a family reunion. What joy.

Dick shrugged his shoulders, "This Thursday." He knew you would panic but the temper tantrum you were having was over the top.

Your neck rolled as your lashes fluttered in disbelief. He popped another snack into his mouth and waited for the inevitable outcry.

"Richard John Grayson!" There it was.

"Using my full name? Now that's sexy." He easily dodged the magazine you threw at his head.

It knocked something over on the counter behind him but neither of you paid it any attention. Dick glanced at you and cringed. He knew that face all too well. You were pissed.

"C'mon, Y/n. It's the perfect weather for a get-together; everyone is free, all you gotta do is unlock the door and look cute. Which wouldn't be too difficult." He added with another one of his boyish smiles.

Unfortunately, you were immune to his charms. This was not how you wanted to spend your week.

Your apartment was in desperate need of a deep clean, you knew Dick depleted your fridge, so that meant more grocery shopping, and quite honestly, you wanted to relax with Joker and spend time with him— not entertain guests!

But Dick went ahead and made plans for you. Without your permission! You had enough and started to chase him around the kitchen and into your living room.

The police officer had the upper hand and always stayed just out of your reach. His laughter floated up to the high ceilings and the husky sound only fueled your anger.

You got even more frustrated from going around in circles and stopped to catch your breath by leaning on the couch. Dick bounced on the balls of his feet, not winded in the slightest.

Since when were you so out of shape?

"Were you out of shape when you took J's dick a day ago?" The devil on your left shoulder asked out of the blue. "Cuz he folded us like a lawn chair." She cackled to herself.

"And we took it like a champ too!" The angel added after she materialized on your right shoulder.

In a rare gesture, she sided with her archnemesis. That's when you knew it was bad.

It was official. You were making a therapy appointment this week. Having full blown conversations with figments of your imagination really needed to stop. You refused to turn into the mentally ill.

Although you'd fit in perfectly within Gotham City and you doubted Joker would mind a looney girlfriend. Woah. Stop right there.

You had yet to tell J that you loved him! What business did you have putting labels on things? You physically shook those thoughts away. Back to the matter at hand.

"Who else.. did you.. invite?" You wheezed out in Dick's direction.

He faked to his left but you predicted his movements and almost got a hold of him if you didn't stumble on the decorative rug. Thankfully your colorful ottoman nearby, thus preventing a bad fall.

"Whatever do you mean Y/n?" He laughed after he knew you were okay.

He thought this was a game. Stupid agile former acrobat..

"You.. know what I mean Grayson!" You shouted as you dived over the dining table but Dick just vaulted over it with the grace of his family's name. You crumbled to the floor on the other side but quickly ran after him back into the kitchen, grumbling along the way.

"Annoying, extroverted, pain in my—"

"Oo! Bad Y/n! No swearing in the apartment!" Dick chided you.

You weren't going to catch him so you looked around for an equalizer.

Dick huffed when you hit him dead in the face with a roll of paper towels. He smacked them aside and raised his arms in surrender when he noticed you found something heavier to throw.

"S__t! Easy! Easy, Y/n! Okay, I'll explain! Just don't hurt my face!"

You lowered the bread box back down onto the counter with a heavy thud. It was solid wood, an heirloom from your mother's side of the family.

"THEN START ELABORATING GRAYSON!"

"Lower your voice. How about we take this conversation to the balcony?" He suggested.

You jutted your hip and crossed your arms, "Why? You scared?"

Dick chuckled to himself. You were a spitfire when you wanted to be. He didn't want to admit it aloud, but your aim was better than a quarterback.

"Yeah.. there's not much out there you can throw at me." He confessed.

The both of you shared a laugh and the tension between you both dissipated. "Alright, fine. I won't hurt that pretty face of yours. For now. Lead the way." You said.

He walked over to hold out his arm like a proper gentleman but not before tipping your chin up with his index finger. "You think I'm pretty, Y/n?"

"Mhm." You hummed, "Pretty annoying."

Dick just laughed and guided you out onto the balcony.

A random breeze tossed your hair as you sat your glass down on the table. Your hands were damp from the condensation and you wiped them off on your jeans as you faced Dick.

He was already staring at you with those clear blue eyes of his. They accessed you like he knew something you didn't. His knowing gaze and the gossip magazine he showed you earlier; your anxiety was at an all time high.

"So... Are you gonna explain or just stare at me all afternoon?"

He sat his own beverage down with a smirk before leaning back on the patio couch.

"The latter sounds like time better spent but.. you do deserve an explanation. Like I said earlier, your parents and I organized this get-together for Thursday. They haven't visited since you moved here and you deserve a breather from work. We all do. It's just our close friends, nothing serious Y/n, so don't go decorating or doing anything extravagant."

"I'll admit, I haven't been around lately since I picked up more shifts back home and.." You blinked in shock watching Dick Grayson, of all people, falter.

He always had the right words to say. You wrung your lip as he nodded to himself and returned your gaze.

"I don't want you lifting a finger, Y/n. Don't fight me on this! I'll clean the apartment for you, just relax these next few days and let me take care of things while I'm here."

You paled. Two months ago if he dropped by wanting to stay over, it wouldn't have been an issue. Dick came and went as he pleased— never staying more than a week at a time, but things were different now.

You had Joker.

And Dick Grayson, a police officer stationed in Blüdhaven with strong ties to Gotham City, could not find out about Joker staying here.

You could fool Barbara and the girls, but Dick with his natural perceptiveness and fondness for being nosy would definitely find incriminating evidence if he stayed over. You couldn't allow that.

"Uh... wow.. I'm uhh shocked that you, of all people, want to clean. Alfred must be clutching his pearls right about now. But um.. you don't have to stay with me Dick. I-I can clean the place and have everything ready by Thurs—-"

He waved off your excuse like a fly. "Nonsense, Y/n/n! I've been here since Friday."

Your ears were ringing and your hands felt clammy. When did it get so hot? Dick didn't notice the early stages of a panic attack occurring right in front of him. "Huh?"

He took your startled reply with a grain of salt.

"Yeah, I arrived in town late Friday night but I had to check in with the old man and Alfred. That took longer than expected. Then Barbara texted me n' said that you were still out of town, so I crashed at your place instead of going home. I've been chillin over here ever since!"

Your right eye twitched. "H-Here? You slept here?"

Dick quirked an eyebrow. "Yes, Y/n. I just said that. I don't see the problem, I used to stay over in the past, no biggie. I didn't go in your room if that's what you're freaking out about, geez."

Like him going into your room was the issue here. You trusted him in that regard. You were panicking because Joker had temporarily moved into your guest room and the bathroom therein.

All it would take was one out of place item and Dick would ask who was staying with you, or worse. He'd deduce exactly who your roommate is and ruin everything for you.

You had to warn Joker not to come back. Scratch that. You needed to check his room and see if he left anything out.

You stood up abruptly and mumbled out an excuse.

"You know what? I really need to um, get caught up on.. uh laundry. Yes! Laundry and dusting! And have you seen those plants of mine? Dry as a bone! I should ahhh... do that. Water that. Them, I mean..."

You turned to make a beeline inside but Dick's voice halted your steps.

"Stop." He stood and eyed you pensively as he got closer.

"You ramble when you're nervous and it's rare that you let your place get so far behind on chores. Which tells me that you haven't been home in a while. Just how long have you been gone, young lady?" You avoided his gaze, picking you apart.

'Honestly Y/n, make yourself look more guilty.' You groaned internally.

Dick's eyes shifted to your shoulder to the array of bite marks finally healing from the weekend.

"You have been naughty, Y/n!" You flushed red and pushed him away.

Dick hardly moved. "Finally got laid huh? Was it Prince Charming? Did he fly you out so you could get some D? D__n Y/n, he must be really good then."

Technically he was right. Joker did in fact fly you out to Massachusetts and his stroke game was immaculate... but that wasn't the point here!

Dick laughed even harder when you rolled your eyes. "But we both know that's not the full truth. He stays here too."

He smiled at your horrified face. "Uh huh. I saw his stuff in the guest room. Woah, easy here Y/n! Don't go passing out on me!"

You swayed on your feet and Dick's arms shot out to catch you.

"Geez, dramatic much? I'm happy if you're happy, but I still want to meet him. I gotta talk to him and all."

The sun on the balcony was frying your head. Dick was talking out of his neck at this point. "T-Talk? About what?"

Dick just shook his head and drew you in for a hug.

"Y/n. Despite the hard time I give you, you're like a little sister to me. So if this guy means a lot to you, well. I wanna meet him. Someone's gotta give him a good Blüdhaven warning and I volunteer since I have all this natural intimidation going on."

You didn't have the heart to tell Dick that Joker was taller than him and far more intimidating. You simply snorted and accidentally spoke aloud.

"Tuh, good luck with that."

Dick leaned back so he could look down at you with a purple Riddler mark on his face.

"Nothing, I-I didn't say anything." Something flashed in his clear blue eyes but it was gone before you could question what.

He was back to himself in record time.

"O..K.. Hey! Why don't you go get your laundry sorted out and I'll start dusting the ceilings, yeah?" You jumped and shined your e/c eyes up at Dick.

"You'll dust for me?! Last time I almost died going up the ladder."

Dick sighed and rolled his gaze upward. "Y/n, you are too accident prone to be on anybody's ladder."

You awkwardly laughed and hugged your brother. You never had a sibling before. It was new and exciting until too much physical contact got overbearing.

"Mkay, that's enough." You pushed him away to begin the aforementioned chores.

Thankfully Dick wasn't insulted and left you to your own devices.

You watched him mosey back inside and disappear into your storage room, most likely, to fish out the cleaning supplies. While he was distracted, you sprinted to your bedroom with your phone.

You were grateful that Joker gave you his number over the weekend. However he said it was only to be used for emergencies. You considered him coming back and accidentally meeting Dick an emergency. You had to avoid them meeting at all costs.

You sealed yourself in your bedroom and made sure you dialed the one-call number correctly and waited.

It rang and rang and your stomach felt like it was sitting atop a rollercoaster hill, waiting for him to answer.

And without momentum, you rolled back to the station. It rang to a generic message. You weren't sure how you felt about leaving a voicemail but you already came this far, you couldn't waste the dial you made. So you took a deep breath and began.

"J.... It's me. Um. I have a friend over. Like staying over over. It's not safe for you to come back anytime soon. Please don't be upset with me. I also have a big family dinner this Thursday that I can't back out of so, please. Please, J! Don't come back until I give you a signal. I'll find a way.. I lo.. Ahhhh, um uh b-bye!"

You ended the call with shaky hands.

Did you almost say that on a freaking voicemail? Of all the worst times to confess, that would have been so anticlimactic. Thank goodness you caught yourself from making a complete fool of yourself.

Joker deserved a better declaration than some halfhearted mention on a voicemail that he'd probably would never listen to.

'Y/n, pull ya together girl. He's probably just busy.. '

He did sacrifice an entire weekend of his time to kick it back with you. He was probably drowning in whatever stuff a psychotic crime boss did at the office. Did Joker even have an office?

You pictured him behind an executive desk stacked high with papers and quickly wiped that image from your mind. It was replaced with J sliding down stacks of counterfeit money and torturing people in seedy back rooms. That was a better reality than Joker in an office setting.

You sighed and programmed your brain to focus on laundry and not on a certain criminal that vexed your heart and soul.

Little did you know— your mental imagery of him was spot on.

Joker was in fact working overtime to make up for his weekend vacation with you. In the short timeframe the two of you parted ways, he met up with Frost to go over pressing matters.

Joker knew about the photos.

It was upsetting that there were images of him floating around but it was more damaging to you. He tried to stop it on Thursday night, but the pap gave him and his men the slip.

Joker made sure you were safely tucked in at the hotel before he and Frost tore Atlanta apart trying to find the scumbag.

Joker thought that flying out of state would shake the trail, but this photographer was good. Too good, as if they had inside intel that helped them stalk you and Joker to Martha's Vineyard. Joker hated lots of things but he hated a rat the most.

Finding the snitch within his own organization proved to be difficult when Joker wasn't in Gotham City, so he had to wait until Monday to continue his investigation. He played things off and calmed your nerves at the beach house after that envelope came and made things worse.

Joker did not like being taunted. He needed to get to the bottom of this issue quickly. It was already irritating him.

The second he landed the jet at the Archie Goodwin International airport, outside of Gotham City proper; your security detail was there and waiting. You were sent off to your apartment and Joker immediately got to work.

Back to reality it seems.

Joker questioned if it would be easier to just whisk you away to some remote location until all of this blew over, but he knew you wouldn't go for it. You were independent and stubborn. You wouldn't hide like a coward. He admired that about you.

Too bad this was a serious threat that needed to be addressed and being stubborn about it could get you killed.

Some of your freedom would be sacrificed in order to protect you. Hopefully you would understand.

A pep rally, a test of loyalty, and a mass execution later, Joker weeded out the loose ends within his gang. One managed to give good information before croaking over and Joker saw red.

The bad feeling he had back at the airport was coming true. Things were far worse than he expected.

He followed the lead and lo and behold, it led back to his current best friend, Ivan Burbanc. Granted, Ivan didn't feel honored being Joker's friend, in time, maybe they could warm up to each other.

He already had the best seat in the house; a rickety chair underneath a light bulb, tucked away from prying eyes— although Ivan couldn't appreciate all of this since he had a sack over his head. His arms and legs were tied down and he was a frantic mess assuming the worst, until a door opened a little ways off.

Joker nodded at Mac to leave. The blond was standing guard and tossed over his shoulder, "We ruffled him up a bit during the grab. He's all yours, Boss."

Joker hummed in response. Quite honestly he didn't care about the lesser details. He just wanted to get the intel he needed and move on.

The more time he spent working was another minute spent away from you. Joker was like a drug addict needing his fix and you were an island over, blissfully unaware that Joker was getting his hands dirty, all to keep you safe.

The less you knew, the better. But he needed to see you soon.

He approached the paparazzi with calculated steps. The poor guy was nearly pissing himself in fear but Joker needed him to choke on it to get the answers he sought.

Ivan knew someone entered the room. Their exact location was unknown.

He jumped when he heard an eerie voice to his immediate right. "I just wanna know why. Why? Whyyy did you do it?"

Such an ambiguous question but it prompted the desired response. "Why what? I-I don't know what you're talking about man! I'm just a photographer! Please, you gotta let me go!"

"Just a pho-to-graph-er? Hm.. so uh, stalking and harassment are just perks of the eh.. job? You see. You tooK a picture of someone. Thursday. Night. And that... thaT. That is a big problem, uh Ivan? Is it?"

By this point, Ivan realized he was in deep s__t. This wasn't just some average Gotham City misunderstanding.

It wasn't out of place for a citizen to find themselves snatched from the street if they dabbled in crime. Being a paparazzi at times required him to get his hands dirty, but he was still a well rounded guy! This could all still be some misunderstanding! Maybe they nabbed the wrong guy?

He knew he shouldn't have taken that side gig but money was tight this month. It was just a simple shot, nothing too crazy! He was already in Atlanta so what did he have to lose except so much to gain?

He felt something sharp drag over his bare arm and panicked when it pierced the skin there. A simple graze, although deep enough to draw blood.

Whoever kidnapped him meant business. It was in his best interest to start talking.

"Ow! Alright, alright I-I was hired man!" The unknown voice asked by whom and Ivan scrambled to remember.

"Uh it was uh. S-Some anonymous tip! It wasn't through my normal means of intel but it said Y/n L/n would be flying out to Euphoria. They wanted a scandalous shot of her or something equivalent. I was already in the area so I acted on it! S-She's a high price celeb since she's so sheltered. One pic of her can go for like, thousands if it's good! E-Easy money!"

Joker's lip curled in a snarl. Was that all you were to these people? A dollar sign? Was he the only one that cared about your well being?

"You think my Light is just some quick buck?"

Ivan cringed further back into his chair at the declaration. Great, now he had an angry bf to deal with. "Okay.. l-listen buddy.. I didn't know she was your girl.."

Joker ripped the bag off from Ivan's head. It took a minute for his eyes to adjust to the room's dim light, but once he recovered and saw who was in front of him, he knew he was a dead man.

"The Joker! S__t, okay.. okay! I–I'm sorry alright! I can't r-retract the spread, but we can make a deal right? Right?"

He was stumbling over his words so badly that Joker hardly understood the useless plea. He was busy thinking of ways he wanted to end this pathetic life to listen fully.

He still needed a name though.

"Fine. I li-ke deals. Who gave you the tip?" Joker asked.

The blade in his hand twinkled in the light as he locked eyes with his prey with an unreadable look. His reputation alone explained what was going to happen here if Ivan didn't respond. It motivated him to babble out nonsense.

"I.. ah.. uh some third party! I told you, I dunno! It was mad sketchy bro, but I took the risk!"

"Hmm. Well uh eye-van? Was it worth the risk?" Without warning, Joker jammed the knife into Ivan's thigh and just like he expected, this guy was a screamer.

Good thing the walls here were thick. It had been a while since Joker heard the sweet sound of sheer terror. It washed over him like a fond memory, yet he itched for more. Joker cracked his neck and waited for the screams to die down.

"Oh Ivan. Ivan, Ivan, Ivan, look at me! Hi.. you think thaT was bad. No. No. WaiT, till I take it out. Yeah? So! Who? Gave. You. The. Tip?" Right at the last word, Joker yanked the knife out.

Outside the room, Mac and another goon were placing bets on how long it would take to get results. All that was heard was muffled screams and Joker's maniacal laughter. It was good to hear the boss happy again.

"I dunno.. Boss is in a good mood today n' you know how he gets with a screamer. Maybe an hour?"

Mac nodded sagely. "Good point. Fifty says he'll drag it out."

In total, it only took twenty eight minutes.

Joker knocked on the door twice and emerged composed and cordial to the two goons stationed out front.

One of them offered him a towel to wipe his hands with and they were wise enough not to comment on the gory mess Joker left inside.

They could see it from here.

"If ya don'T mind.. Uh cleaning up my errr.. yeah." Joker vaguely pointed over his shoulder. He didn't stick around to hear them agree.

He got the name he wanted but unfortunately, it wasn't one that he knew. More digging around which meant this would take a lot longer than he had anticipated.

Joker was slightly limping down the hall when his coat pocket chimed. His leg was giving him problems again. He sighed and leaned his bodyweight on the wall and fished out the pesky device. Sure enough, one voicemail was left on his burner phone. Frost knew better than to make such a rookie mistake so that meant...

You.

Joker had the phone up to his ear in record time. Your sweet, melodic voice instantly calmed his nerves. That is until he actually listened to what you had to say. The two of you really had terrible luck.

One of your friends must've been staying over and you were so bent out of shape thinking he would be upset. He was, but it was so refreshing to hear you say please, that Joker didn't catch your last sentence for what it (almost) was.

This break would actually work out in his favor. He still needed more time to hunt down this thorn in his side and finally get to the bottom of his security leak. There was still a rat scurrying around that he needed to catch.

Thursday would give him plenty of time to do just that without being distracted— worrying about you.

Joker knew you wouldn't leave the apartment after being away for so long and your family dinner thingy would assure that you stayed in one place and not land into any trouble. Joker still had security cameras installed in your apartment if he really wanted to check in with you.

He couldn't help to be a little curious about your folks.

Now that he thought about it, you never mentioned them before. He wondered what your relationship with them was like and how they treated you in kind. Maybe he would tune in and check in on things..

Four days apart after such a wonderful weekend with you would be utter torture but Joker nodded to himself with conviction. He could(n't) do this. But he had to.

He also had to destroy this burner phone since you left a voice message on it so— he didn't see the harm in sending you a text before dumping it.

That was the only explanation he had for taking a risk, not just to soothe his separation anxiety, but yours as well.

OK see u Thurs my Light 🃏

You were shocked to see your phone light up with an unknown number messaging you.

Then you saw the playing card and instantly knew who it was. You weren't expecting a response from J. The fact that he did, felt like you were finally going down that rollercoaster at full speed.

Never mind the fact that he sent it an hour after your call or that his message was cut and dry. Despite how busy Joker was, he took the time out to text you back. That's what mattered.

He listened to your voicemail! (and hopefully didn't catch your word fumble at the end.) You didn't care that you were in front of Dick when you smiled wide.

"Oooooh. Someone's in love."

And cue the record scratch. You watched Dick descend the ladder to face you. He set the duster down and crossed his arms at your high pitch reply.

You immediately denied it. "N-No no I'm not! You don't know what you're um talking about!"

"Y/n. You can't see your face right now but you're glowing and not that, I just finished writing a novel, glow. Whoever this guy is, he's got you down bad."

"I am not down bad..." You echoed.

Dick fixed you with a, "why is you lying" look. You huffed and scurried over to your floor length mirror to see for yourself.

You looked the same in your opinion. After talking on the balcony with Dick, you changed into some old cleaning clothes and tied your hair up and out of the way. A few curls peeked out from under your bandana to frame your face, leaving you with a messy, but natural, look.

Your skin did look aglow and fresh but that could very well be from your stress free weekend with J. Other than that..

Dick came up behind you and rested his hands on your shoulders. "Ya see it? You look in love."

You were still unsure yet the longer you stared, that unknown but familiar, feeling bubbled up to the surface. All the feelings that you kept bottled up since the beginning, festered front and center before reaching a tipping point.

You weren't supposed to let Joker in. He wasn't supposed to have a chance with your heart. But he found a way in, no matter how many walls you erected to keep him out. Joker still managed to tear down each one to get to you.

And today, you looked at your reflection in the mirror and let the last wall crumble down.

"You're right. I.. I'm in love." You whispered to your reflection. The smile that stared back confirmed it.

It was the only thought on your mind for three days straight. In the meantime..

You finally got around to cleaning your apartment– from the vaulted ceilings down to the decorative rugs. Every nook and cranny in between had been cleaned.

The balcony doors were left open to circulate fresh air into the place to expel all of the strong chemicals you mixed to clean while Dick kept his promise and helped when something was out of your reach or too heavy to lift.

He became concerned when you opted out on wearing a mask to mix Pine-Sol and Comet together.

"Are you trying to kill us?!" He coughed and gagged when you added bleach and Ajax into the strong concoction. Was it supposed to sizzle like that?!

"I'm tryna kill the germs, yeah." Men were such lightweights. You'd been mixing chemicals to clean since you were a kid.

He's lucky you didn't bust out the Fabuloso.

As the fumes died down, you made an extensive grocery list and glared at Dick for depleting your fridge and cupboards in such a short amount of time.

Did he not eat at home? You knew he stayed at Wayne manor periodically and Alfred was a beast in the kitchen, so there was no excuse there.

You didn't know his living situation back home in Blüdhaven but still. Why did he raid your fridge every time he came over?

He laughed it off and mentioned he would foot the bill plus the delivery cost since it would be too much for the both of you to haul back on your own. He went ahead and included the necessary things for the scheduled dinner party and you cringed at the total.

He didn't bat an eyelash at the number and swiped his black credit card. Dick Grayson got moneeeeeeey!

Mind you, you did too, but old money tends to hit a lot more differently.

With the penthouse clean enough to meet your high standards and everything prepared for Thursday, you and Dick spent the remainder of the week catching up and lounging around.

Dick preoccupied his time by watching a popular tv series. You bid yours toiling in front of your laptop. The sound of your fingers flying over the keys floated throughout the penthouse and it was just like old times.

There was a sense of calmness that you hadn't felt in quite some time. You almost forgot that you were deeply involved with Gotham's City's most wanted criminal. Almost.

A startling reminder of your predicament flashed on the tv screen late Wednesday night. You were working on your wip on the floor while Dick relaxed on the couch after dinner.

You recognized GCN's nightly female reporter's voice as she drowned on about some political news before getting to the segment headliner.

"Now onto developing news. Sightings of the notorious Joker shook the Roanoke Mall early this afternoon. Local shoppers were terrified to discover the clown was among them, not as a terrorist, but as a consumer. Our correspondent Emily Vega reports. Emily."

The coverage panned from the studio to a blonde who was standing next to an eyewitness.

Emily nodded for a full minute before giving a delayed greeting. She then recapped the situation before handing the mic over to the witness.

GCN flashed their name and title on a banner yet you paid no attention.

"It was crazy! One minute everything was fine, the next The Joker and a few of his crew came strolling in, lookin' around! I thought they were gonna rob the place but get this! He just walked up to the counter and asked for one of my coworkers. I was scared because you don't just talk to The Joker without you know." They made a throat cutting gesture before continuing.

"Yeah, him and Rick just talked in the corner and right when I thought, yeah we're gonna die, keep in mind Rick ain't the best talker; The Joker bought somethin'! Paid in cash, asked for gift wrapping, and everything! You know when I stop and think bout it.. he's actually a nice guy..."

Emily jerked the microphone back and quickly ended the segment. "Reporting live from Jacob and Co. back to the studio."

The time on the clock tower behind her put the initial interview around midday.

Apparently this happened earlier and GCN was resharing the information, you surmised.

"Very scary. Thank you Emily. Management at Jacob and Co. known for their pricey custom jewelry, refused to comment on what exactly was discussed and purchased by The Joker, but the GCPD has since taken over the investigation with hopes of his recapture being imminent. As of today, The Joker remains at large for three long months. When more information arises, count on GCN to report it to you live. Now onto the recent missing persons report of a controversial photographer Ivan...."

You jumped when Dick spoke up.

"A nice guy? Are they even talking about the same Joker? Him and nice in the same sentence? He probably threatened the employees to keep quiet. Geez, when will the people of Gotham learn that The Joker is extremely dangerous?" Dick preached from your couch.

You enjoyed when Dick got passionate about things and ranted but this anger felt personal somehow..

You trailed your eyes away from him and back to the tv screen.

The reporter was going on about the missing paparazzi but your mind was elsewhere. Dick looked at you when you hummed aloud. "Huh. I wonder what he bought."

You locked eyes with Dick who looked anything but amused by your random thought. "What?" You asked.

"That's what you're thinking about Y/n? Not the fact a wanted man walked into a jewelry store and walked out without the authorities being called, but about what he purchased?No one sees the problem here! On that note, I'm going to bed and you should too. We got a big day tomorrow."

Dick turned off the tv and stepped over you to head to bed.

You were left stunned in the dark after his outburst but still thinking about what J bought.

Jacob and Co. was rather pricey and it just so happened to be the same jeweler you bought most of your favorite pieces from.

What was Joker up to?

"I'll know soon enough I guess." You mumbled to yourself. Dick did have a point though.

Tomorrow was a big day and you needed all of the rest you could get. Joker looked alright on tv so that put your mind at ease to start your nightly routine for bed.

Finally it was Thursday.

You really didn't want to entertain guests today but the sooner you did, the faster you could send everyone home and call for Joker to return.

You were missing him more and more by the day.

It was the mantra that motivated you to wake up and get ready. Dick stated all you had to do was look pretty and open the door, so you followed his instructions.

Once you washed up, you donned a simple but stylish denim jumpsuit. You didn't bother with shoes and let your freshly painted toes add a pop of color to your ensemble.

You also choose to wear your hair down for a change and tucked the excess back behind your ears.

When you opened your bedroom door, an explosion of smells hit your nostrils. Dick was already in the kitchen with his Kiss the Cook apron on (it looked better on Joker) over a pair of shorts and a simple tee.

Dick's natural looks could make anything look high end. He noticed you hesitating in the archway and beckoned you over with a loud greeting.

"Good morning Y/n/n!! I'm just chopping up some veggies and finishing up the marinade for the meat. Wanna help?"

You shrugged and walked over. It was then you saw the unorganized chaos Dick was orchestrating.

"Chile, what's on the menu?" You chuckled.

"I'm glad you asked! Your dad and I are bbq three types of meat, the slaw is in the fridge; ready to mix. Beans are prepped for the oven. Mom is bringing the greens since I couldn't find collards in this wretched city to save my life... We'll have pasta and potato salad as vegan options for her. I do need you to make cornbread and the Mac and cheese however." He grinned at you.

Your eyes bugged at the menu presented. Good thing you went ahead and decorated the table against Dick's instructions. Nothing serious he said.. this was a banquet!

But then you replayed his speech and stopped short.

"I thought I wasn't supposed to do anything but look cute and open the door, Grayson?" You crossed your arms with a playful grin.

He noticed it and groaned. Of course you caught his quickly spoken request.

"C'mon.. Y/n! You make the best Mac and cheese I've ever tasted and I.. always overcook the cornbread." He looked away, dejected.

You snorted and got out the necessary ingredients before tossing your insult over your shoulder. "That's because you ain't got no ancestors to tell you how to season."

You laughed at his butthurt face.

"Funny. Real funny." He griped.

The two of you quickly found a rhythm in the spacious kitchen to finish preparing everything before the guests arrived. Time got away from you both but around noon, there was a knock on the door.

Dick was elbows deep in potatoes so you quickly wiped your hands clean and made for the front. "Coming!"

You opened the door to Barbara and Morgana's wide smiles.

"Did someone order your favorite dessert?" Barbara sang while pointing to the big travel container in her lap. You squealed and let them in. "You baked?!"

"I sure did! I made all your favorites and Dick asked for a pie. Weirdo." She let Morgana push her in so she could keep a good grip on the sweets.

You eyed Morgana empty hands and arched an eyebrow. "Uhhh what did you bring?"

"Myself, thank you." She jokingly quipped.

You held back a laugh. There was always that one person at the cookout who came empty handed. You never guessed it would be her.

Though not surprising, Morgana busted out bottles of alcohol from thin air and started mixing a fruity sangria and a separate nonalcoholic lemonade batch for the party. You just shook your head at your friend. Where she kept magically procuring alcohol from, you'll never figure out.

You left the two girls to their mixing to help Dick back inside the kitchen.

More time passed and the penthouse was abuzz with more delicious aromas and laughter. You barely heard the doorbell since Barbara tapped into your speakers and started a playlist for everyone.

Luckily Morgana heard it and moseyed over to answer it. She opened the door, drink in hand, but quickly dropped everything to help the esteemed guests inside.

"Grayson! Those ribs better be on the grill!"

You and Dick froze after hearing the loud, but familiar, bellowing voice.

He dropped a mixing spoon on the floor and locked eyes with you. After that, it was a race to see who could hug them first.

Naturally he beat you to the living room simply because you stopped about halfway at the sight.

You hadn't seen your parents for an entire year and my, how nothing changed.

Your dad was still tall and imposing with his split eyebrow and sharp features. He had a protective arm wrapped around your mother who literally seemed to be invincible to age. The only factor to hint at it was the tasteful streaks of grey in her luscious hair. And quite frankly, it could pass as a money piece hair dye.

Other than that, the two of you could be twins.

Time seemed to stop when two pairs of e/c locked paths. The bushel of greens in her hands were passed off to her husband the moment she saw your eyes water.

"Mama..."

Everyone in the room watched the long awaited reunion. You didn't care how old you were; you hadn't seen your mother in a year. So much happened since then that your emotions simply got the better of you.

You moved out for the first time to a completely different city. You were held at gun and knifepoint, almost killed at your charity, rescued from said event and then abducted from your home by a schizophrenic, former district attorney. You've been through so much without your mother's shoulder to lean on.

Everything just came pouring out. You weren't making a lick of sense, but she just hugged you closer and petted your hair.

"My baby! What did this mean ol' city do to you? Dry your tears, love. Oh don't you look so beautiful, doesn't she honey?" She twisted a bit so your father could join the hug.

He too was a little misty eyed but real men didn't shed tears. Okay, maybe one or two.

"Yeah she does! Both of my girls are." He kissed both your forehead and his wife's before smiling down at his armful.

The family was back together.

"C-Can I join the family hug please?" The three of you looked over at Dick who was bashfully waiting his turn.

Morgana and Barbara both called him an idiot but much to their surprise, he was snatched up by your father and inducted into the hug. Apparently he was part of the family after all. Who would've thought?

Your mother let you go with a wet chuckle and started to dote on Grayson.

"And look at you! Ack! You look so pale! Have you been getting your necessary nutrients? What about you Y/n? You both look so skinny! Lemme go put these greens on so y'all can eat. C'mon on Y/n! We can catch up while we pick 'em!"

You wiped your face dry. "Yes ma'am."

You weren't that skinny right? You shared a look with Dick who— mind you, was all muscle, and fit as can be. He rolled his eyes not believing it either.

You look fine, he mouthed to you before your dad slapped him loudly on the back. It sounded like a clap of thunder. Dick hardly budged at the impact.

"I'm serious boy. If them ribs ain't on the grill by now, you done screwed up." Your dad bellowed.

They shared a laugh as they made their way to the balcony where the grill was indeed steady cooking the various meat for the feast. That left the girls to gather in the kitchen, sharing laughs and jokes about your year so far living in the city.

Your mom was placing a lid on a boiling pot when Barbara continued the recap. "We finally got her to go out clubbing with us!"

Morgana quickly swallowed her drink and added, "Yeah Mrs. Y/L/N, we were flown out to ATL and had a blast!"

"Really? My Y/n at a club? I'd pay money to see that." Your mom joked. You flushed red and whined, "Ma.."

"Don't Ma me. I'm so used to you indoors with a book in hand. Or better yet, writing one. I'm still waiting for a tour of the place. Your royalties but be something else to afford the top floor."

You jumped to attention and did just that.

Even though Barbara had been over numerous times, she came along as well as Morgana. Being the new friend of the circle, Morgana didn't have the opportunity to venture past your living room and was excited to see the rest of the place in its entirety.

"Four bedrooms, one of them is empty at the moment. Two and a half baths. A massive storage room, my own laundry room, two private balconies and have you seen this view?" You led everyone past your sunroom and out to the balcony where Dad and Dick were glazing the ribs with bbq sauce.

Your mother gasped in awe after you mentioned the view.

She could see Dini Highway from here, it was incredible. Yet the verdict was still out. "Are you happy here?"

You were stealing a taste of the sauce while your dad wasn't looking but heard the question. "Uh.. yeah! I love it here, Mom. I tell you and dad that all the time when I call."

"Then why didn't you show us your room?"

Morgana choked on her drink. Barbara and Dick pointedly looked away and your Dad noticed all of this and addressed the elephant in the room.. or correction; balcony.

"Y/n. You're not isolating yourself again are you? We talked about this... It ain't healthy." He sighed.

Your mother, being a doctor, nodded in agreement alongside him.

You were on your own since your friends weren't entering this fight but thankfully the doorbell ringing saved you. You dodged that awkward bullet. Saved by the bell.

You padded back inside to the foyer and opened the front door, although you quickly wished that you hadn't.

"Ayyyyyy!! Sorry we late! We bought Tequila!" Florence cried out before giving you a hug. She bounced you around in a circle yet your attention was on her plus one standing behind her.

Neo held up the two decorative tequila bottles and winked. Lovely. Florence and booze. What could possibly go wrong?

By the time Florence and her date arrived, the food was ready.

You called everyone over to your dinner table where the vast spread spanned the massive table. Dick brought over the steaming cuts of meat and set them center stage around the other side dishes and fixings to eat.

"This is a lot of food.." Barbara awed.

"Yes indeed! We can thank Grayson for buying and cooking it all but most importantly, let's thank Him. May we bow?"

The table nodded and began to bow their heads. As you were closing your eyes, you spotted Neo rolling his.

Rude, but what could you say? You weren't about to force your family's religion on anyone. It was optional.

Your mom ended Grace beautifully and prompted everyone to dig in. Her and Dick really worked hard to get everything on the table and you could hear multiple stomachs growling; everything looked so good.

The sound of fine china rattling and polite chatter filled the air.

"Mr. Y/L/N, Y/n told me that you don't drink so I made a nonalcoholic version for you." Morgana said while pouring your dad a glass.

She was making her way around the table, filling up everyone's glasses with their selected drink before taking a seat next to you.

"Heh, thanks. Twelve years and I don't wanna get yelled at by my girls." As soon as he said that, you and your mom stared him down like a hawk.

"My point exactly." He laughed while taking a sip. "Mmph, that's good! Might steal that recipe from you Morgana!"

"See Y/n. My non-alcoholic drinks are just as good as the original." She raised her glass to your father at the head of the table, opposite of you.

Your mom was seated to his left and sipped his choice just to make sure. Not bad at all.

She remembered you saying on a call that Morgana and Florence were the heavy drinkers of the group. Not that she didn't trust them, but the virgin drinks looked the same as the alcohol infused one that Florence was tipping back.

Florence looked over at your mom who was seated to her right and smiled. Dick was serving Neo a portion of bbq at the end of the table, on your right.

Dick didn't know the guy but he came with Florence so he couldn't say much. He honestly just seated him next to you since it was the only empty seat left.

Once Dick sat down in his own seat, (on your dad's right and Barbara's left) he whispered in her ear asking who Neo was.

"Florence's client/boyfriend. He's the one that flew us out to Atlanta." Barbara whispered back.

Dick nodded briefly and sized the guy up.

His experience as Nightwing told him this man was bad news. But you seemed to be at ease around him if the pointed glares you sent his way were any indication. You were a good judge of character so Dick wasn't that worried.

Everyone was eating and tossing stories back and forth over dinner when the doorbell rang again.

You frowned and sat your fork down, looking down the table at Dick. "....You expecting anyone else? You only said eight plate settings."

He was already asking Barbara and Morgana to slide down to make room. Not like they needed to move, since your table was already long enough and technically could seat twelve— but you were curious as to who else he invited.

"Aren't you going to answer the door sweetheart?" Your mother scolded you.

She taught you manners so you scooted your chair back to go answer the door. You didn't check the peephole before swinging the door open.

You blinked a mile a minute when Bruce Wayne stood in your small hallway holding a black bag. "Bruce?"

"Good evening. I apologize for being late. Work held me longer than I was expecting. May I come in?" He was dressed casually in a dark shirt and slacks and dang it, he looked good.

"Uhhhh.. I guess?" You stepped aside to let him come in as you mentally berated yourself for thinking about Bruce in such a way.

That chapter is closed Y/n. You have Joker now. Why are you even looking at Bruce like that? He's easy on the eyes, but girl! J is built different out here! He all types of daddy.

You nodded to yourself and closed the front door. When you returned to the dining room, everyone had greeted Bruce (except Neo of course) with open arms.

"Y/n!! You didn't tell me you knew Bruce Wayne!!" Your mother was over the moon at the possibilities.

You fixed her with a deadpan glare and gestured to Dick. "Mom. Dick Grayson is right there, whatchu mean?"

"She has a point, babe." You dad came to your defense. The two men were a packaged deal.

Dick waved at his guardian when he sat down at your left. Of course Dick updated the seating so this could happen. Sneaky little..

"This food looks amazing! Once again I apologize for arriving so late." The businessman mused as your mother personally fixed him a plate.

You joined Neo in giving Wayne an annoyed glare. Florence noticed the two of you shared reactions far too similar for it to be a coincidence.

Bruce asked for a little of everything and leaned over to ask you a question. "Is that your mother or your sister, Y/n?"

Your mom laughed and gave him a generous serving of potato salad after overhearing his genuine query.

"Y/n! Is he always this gregarious?" She swatted his broad shoulders as she made it back to her seat.

Everyone was off in their own sidebar conversations but you still attempted to reply to your mother from across the table. "Uh, sure I guess. I-I mean, I wouldn't know.."

"You don't know? Dick told us you stayed with Wayne for two weeks." Your dad said at the head of the table.

Your mom agreed with him and added, "..and you said you enjoyed this past weekend away out of town. I thought it was with Bruce."

Neo snickered into his glass and thus stole the table's attention. He had been quiet for the duration of dinner but he couldn't contain his comment any longer. "Oh she enjoyed her weekend alright. Not with him tho."

The entire table went dead silent.

You weren't the only one staring at the club owner in shock. Was he being serious right now? You kicked him under the table but he didn't seem phased.

Florence was also quiet, reading into things more than she should've, and grew way too curious over time. She had to know about this weird chemistry between you and Neo.

"How would you know? You told me you had business to attend to over the weekend." Her nails tapped erratically against her glass, making Barbara and Morgana tense.

Neo scoffed. "I did. Someone had to keep Princess safe."

Your mother choked on her lemonade and Bruce narrowed his eyes at this shady guy. He didn't like how he used a pet name so casually with you.

Your jaw dropped and stared at Neo as if he grew a second head. He hadn't used that nickname for you in ages.

Florence eyed Neo briefly and laughed at your bewildered face. "Oh.. okay! Okay. I see what's good. So y'all f__king, huh?"

"Oh s__t." Barbara smacked Dick's arm for interrupting but returned to watch the drama unfolding. That didn't stop his mouth from running. "Wait.. is this Neo guy your Prince Charming, Y/n/n?"

"What?! No!" You denied.

"D__n right. I ain't no prince." He replied over a forkful of beans.

You glared at him. "You aren't helping." He just shrugged and returned your kick under the table, although a lot harder. You blinked back the pain.

"Wooooooow. And here I thought we were friends, Y/n. Going behind my back? After you encouraged me to get with him at his club." Florence chuckled once, it was filled with pent up frustration.

She was getting heated and the alcohol wasn't helping things. "This some real snake behavior." She added.

"Sweetheart, is this true?" Your mother asked gently.

Finally someone was doubting things here! You grabbed onto her lifeline and didn't let go. "No, Mom! Neo and I aren't even like that...." You gestured wildly between you and him.

Why did Dick seat him at your right hand side?! This looked worse than it was.

"Then what the f__k are you two then? Cuz to me, y'all way too close with y'all knowing glares, him calling you Princess and s__t. Why is he protecting you'over the weekend' and why you just sitting there acting all hush hush and shady b__h?"

Your father coughed into his fist. He swore like a sailor but this conversation was getting a little rowdy even for his standards.

A few seats down, Morgana was still eating, watching everything unfold like it was a tv drama. Traitor..

"What you gotta say in all this?" Florence fired at her date, "Ion like how you sitting there looking all smug."

Neo pointed to himself and laughed. "Ohhh, you want me to speak now?" He asked.

"Yeah! Yeah I do. So speak!" Flo fired back.

He nodded and caught your eye. "You want me to tell them the truth, Y/n?"

All eyes turned to you. You were choking on air, unable to breathe. This was not happening. "Y-You... We can't.. Neo.. don't." You gripped the table till your knuckles turned white.

"Okay, I think Y/n needs some fresh air right now." Barbara began. Florence shot down that suggestion real quick.

"Nah she don't need s__t except a good explanation or her feelings won't be the only thing hurtin. I suggest you start talking hoe."

"Watch it now, Flo." Your dad warned.

He didn't like where this conversation was going but he'd do his best to keep the peace and get to the bottom of things, civilly.

The Haitian scooted back from the table to take a breath. She started counting under the breath. No one was ready for when she reached ten.

"Y/n.. seriously this is getting weird.. are you and Neo.. you know.." Barbara hesitated.

"NO! I don't even like the guy! Not after the crap he pulled at Luigi's.."

He tossed his head back with a groan. "Bruhh. That's in the past Y/L. Can we please move on from dat?"

"Lugi's pizza? Y/n. Did this happen the same time we went on a date? Now that you mention it.. You came back from that bathroom break quite distraught." Bruce quickly rounded on Neo. "What did you do to Y/n?"

"None of your business, Wanye." Neo bit back just as fiercely.

"Not you pulling two pulling two hotties at the same time Y/n. You is devious!" Morgana cackled. Dick waved her off and she eyed him until he spoke.

"That'll be an incorrect calculation my dear, Morgana. It's actually three judging by the clothing size I found in her guest bedroom."

You buried your head in your hands. Whhhhhhyyyyyy did Dick have to open his mouth?

"OH! SO YOU BEEN SLEEPING HERE TOO?!" Florence shouted at her now ex.

Neo looked distraught when she stood up from her seat and stormed towards your guest rooms.

You had to think for a second before getting up too. Joker's clothes were still in there. Why didn't you move his stuff into your room earlier?!

"Flo, wait!!" You ran after her. Bruce wanted to see this for himself and followed behind you.

Your father tossed his napkin on the table as he shook his head at his wife.

"I didn't raise no hoe, (your mother's name.)" She winced but laughed to lighten up the mood. "Hmm, that is true but you married one."

Morgana snorted when Dick gagged. "You're acting like they're your parents.

"They are." He was still cringing when a series of shouts came from the back. Everyone still seated at the table waited for anything since they couldn't hear what was being said.

Florence stormed back into the dining room to thrust a dress shirt into Neo's face. He was a pillar of stone. His visage never wavered at the evidence literally being thrown in his face.

"Why did I find the shirt I bought you in her closet?!"

You finally caught up with Florence in the dining room, who staring at her date venomously.

Bruce stood behind you, silently demanding answers as well, but for his own selfish reasons. He saw some things in your guest bedroom that made him question who this lover of yours truly was..

"A black dress shirt Flo? That's rather vague to use as evidence." Barbara sighed. "Every guy owns like a dozen of them."

"Aht. Try again. You got me messed up if I don't remember my purchases. This Armani baby and Giorgio ain't cheap. Is this the dress suit I bought you a few months back?" She asked her stoic date.

Everyone looked at Neo who was mid sip of his drink. He glanced at the label before looking up into your pleading eyes behind Florence. "Yeah it's mine."

He didn't comment that she bought the wrong size. She was already fired hot, including that fact would be more insult to injury.

You didn't understand why Neo was lying. Joker only wore his custom purple suits and the casual clothes that he bought.

You knew he had an array of disguises at his disposal and that black suit was the same one he wore to Euphoria. You had no clue it was actually Neo's, given to his boss last minute to blend in with the employees at the club.

It suited Joker better than Neo if you were the judge of things but now was not the time.

Unfortunately, Neo being the owner was the truth and that did not help your case right now. Your silence, the newfound evidence.. It all pointed at you and Neo having an affair behind Florence's back.

And you refused to lose one of your friends all because of a misunderstanding.

For starters, it was hard for you to make friends and you and Flo were childhood friends at that. The two of you argued over the years and had some fights, but nothing like this. It was never over a guy.

She was the popular cheerleader in highschool. You were the quiet girl from the poetry club; two different circles that would never share the same love interests.

Morgana's gasp and Barbara's look of distrust was breaking your heart.

You broke the girl code and by default, they were taking Florence's side. These were your only friends in life.

Was Joker worth this heartbreak? How could you fix this complete misunderstanding while also keeping Joker a secret?

You felt Bruce's hands settle on your shoulders and the weight of it didn't feel comforting. Everyone in this room was against you. How could he be any different?

It was the worst feeling ever being all alone against the odds. You had the instinctual urge to run.

Bruce didn't give you the chance. "Y/n. It might not be appropriate to ask, but is he the reason why you broke things off with me?"

Everyone jumped when your mom groaned in pain. "Babe, are you okay?!" Your dad asked. Now was not the time for medical emergencies!!

Your mom clutched her chest in agony. "No, I am not OK! Our baby fumbled the bag with The Bruce Wayne for this common street thug? Where did we go wrong?" She sobbed.

"D__n, I'm right here." Neo grumbled. He overlooked how everyone here assumed he was a thug. They weren't wrong.. but dang.

Dick came to his adoptive mother's aid. You should've known anything else from his mouth tonight would be unhelpful. Dick lived for drama.

"Exactly ma! I can see why you don't wanna date the old man, Y/n, but I'm not convinced this guy here is your lover boy. He doesn't look anything like Prince Charming from the gossip magazine!" Dick said.

You wanted to choke him right then and there. Then, you wanted the floor to swallow you up. The entire room was confused until your mother spoke up. "What gossip magazine?"

"Dick, please.." You pleaded in vain.

Nothing would stop him when he was the center of attention. He grinned wide and rushed into the kitchen to grab that long forgotten magazine and held it up for your parents to see.

"This one! Our dear Y/n had quite the weekend with her Prince Charming."

Your father snatched the mag from Grayson and read it over. His eyes widened before he passed it around the table.

One after another your friends and family read about your privacy being violated, printed for the whole world to see, before the magazine landed in Florence's hands.

She took the longest to read the article and for good reason.

"He looks familiar..." She mumbled.

You and Neo paled at the same time.

Florence was drunk that Thursday night at Euphoria but she got a good look at Joker even with his disguise in place. The VIP floor was dark but not dark enough to conceal noticeable scars like Joker's. Your panic attack was back and raging harder than before.

"How... how long have you two been together, Y/n?" She asked you. When you didn't answer, she continued. "Why did I even ask? It doesn't matter. Y'all two were on some secret bull___t that night at the club. I knew I recognized him from somewhere!"

She didn't say who the him in her sentence was but it was practically obvious. Your greatest fear was being realized.

Neo must've come to the same realization because his entire demeanor changed. Flo quickly crossed the room to get into your personal space. "How long Y/n?!"

Florence was in full rage mode, pointing her coffin acrylics in your face, well on the verge of hysterics.

Your audience wasn't too far behind given the sudden change in the air. Florence wasn't messing around anymore. It was utter chaos in your dining room. Your father was scolding Dick for starting all of this, whereas your mother, Barbara, and Morgana were screaming at Florence to chill.

Much to your shock, Bruce was a silent brick wall behind you. He didn't offer you protection or a means to escape. You were rooted in place by his strong hands on your shoulders.

Neo saw your distress and braved the fray to try and to tone Florence down but she smacked his hands away and whirled on him instead. "I don't wanna hear s__t from you!"

"Flo baby—" He tried again until Florence dismissed him with a flip of her middle finger.

"F__k you! I'll deal with you later! Right now, Y/n gotta own up to her s__t! It's the least she can do!"

He didn't let Flo get far and grabbed her before she could whirl back on you.

"Get the f__k off me Neo! I know! And how could you let her!! Of all people, why him, Y/n? Have you lost your mind?!"

"Florence.. please just calm down, and let me explain.." You pleaded. That seemed to ignite her anger more.

Nothing was making sense. She couldn't seem to understand why you were so calm about all of this. Maybe she guessed wrong? No! She knew who she saw....

She broke free from Neo's hold and snarled right in your face. "Both of you are insane. You two deserve each other."

With that said, she grabbed her purse from the foyer closet and walked out, slamming the door behind her.

You were left with chills running down your spine. Florence knew. She had to. Both of you are insane.

Her harsh words echoed in your ear. She knows. She knows. She knows. She knows. She knows. She knows. She knows. She knows.She knows.She knows.She knows.She knows.

Neo was on the same wavelength since a dark shadow crossed his features before he took off after her.

You couldn't think straight amidst all of the chaos. Your own thoughts and fears were drowning out the mayhem that was in your dining room.

Everyone was talking over one another but to you, it all sounded like you were underwater. Those two words were on repeat in your head.

Florence knows. She knows about Joker.

And if the night wasn't theatrical enough, you fainted right into Bruce's awaiting arms.

#ledger joker x reader #ledger joker #black!fem!reader #heath joker #dark knight joker #joker x y/n #joker x reader #reader insert #heath ledger #yandere #Long Reads #a03 writer #romance #angst #cross posted on AO3 #cross posted on wattpad #his lighthouse #Spotify

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midnightwins22 · 1 year

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ROTTMNT Fun Facts

Hello everyone! So I thought that I share some fun facts that I discovered while rewatching Rise of the TMNT.

The first thing that I came to find out while rewatching the show was that out of all of the main cast, Mikey is the one who shows up in the most, whether that be either as a major character, minor character, or just make a cameo. I counted 62 appearances that were made by Mikey. The rest of the cast is broken down below: Donnie: 61, Leo: 61, Raph: 57, April: 30, Splinter: 35, Draxum: 18

I just find it interesting how Mikey has appeared the most, yet got the least amount of focus in the show. He only got a handful of episodes to truly shine and I think he deserved to get more character development then what he got. I would love to see his struggles of being the youngest and how he has to hold it together as the family therapist. (We were totally robbed of that big brother Mikey episode)

2. The second thing that I noticed about this show was that Donnie and Mikey had the most time together. I counted them being paired 8 times together, and keep in mind this is not counting the movie, which had them together pretty much the whole time. The next pairings to come close were Raph and Leo and Leo and Mikey at 6 pairings a piece. I think this just proves that Donnie and Mikey really work the best together and I love this so much as they are my two favorites of the main crew. PB & J duo for the win baby!

3. To piggy back on what I said above, I really wish that we got more pairings in the show. Like the disaster twins only got 3 pairings together, Raph and Mikey got only 2, and Raph and Donnie only got 2. Not to mention that April barely got any one-on-one time with any of the turtles, outside of Donnie. If we ever get a season 3, I want more of some of these pairings please.

4. The final thing I want to mentioned is that I kept track of some of the nicknames given to the turtles. The first thing that I found was that Donnie has the most nicknames, with the most popular one being D/Dee. As it can be expected, Splinter calls them by their colors the most. For Raph, he had a couple of nicknames but none that were constantly used, though his full name was used the most out of any of the turtles. For Leo, Mikey is the only one to call him Leon and the nickname 'Nardo' was only used once by Donnie, proof that Donnie is the only one to call him 'Nardo' (and I love that). For Mikey, Donnie is the only one to call him 'Angelo' and the main one to call him 'Michael' (which I just find very sweet). Now Donnie is the big one with a bunch of nicknames. April and Mikey are the main two to call him D/Dee, Mikey is the only one to call him Donald, and Dontron has only been used one time by Leo

These are just little fun facts that I found about the show and that I wanted to share with all of yall in case you didn't know.

#rottmnt #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt mikey #rottmnt leo #rottmnt raph #rottmnt april #rottmnt splinter #rottmnt pb +j #rottmnt disaster twins #save rise of the tmnt #rottmnt season 3 #we need to save this show #I love it so much #it so deserved better #donnie mikey leo and raph forever have my heart

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weirdthoughtsandideas · 1 year

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Which Sweden wins were deserved and which ones weren’t, according to me:

1974 - Waterloo by ABBA. Deserved.

This is the reason ABBA’s career set off! And they’re amazing!

1984 - Diggiloo Diggiley by Herreys. Deserved.

I CAN’T TELL YOU HOW MUCH I LOVE DIGGILOO DIGGILEY. I used to listen to this on a CD so much as a kid that the CD broke. It’s silly, it’s catchy, it’s cheesy, it’s amazing. To think, back in this day you could win by singing about something so simple as golden shoes.

1991 - Fångad av en stormvind by Carola. Deserved.

It is catchy asf and easy to dance to. I get it.

1999 - Tusen och en natt by Charlotte Nilsson (Perelli now, but Nilsson in 1999). Undeserved.

This is probably the most ”unknown” of the Sweden wins and sorry to all the Charlotte fans but i’m just not feeling it. Both my parents have said they were very surprised this even won because they weren’t that into it either. It’s not a bad song, but idk if I would call it a winning song either. But oh well, there were other tastes and standards in 1999…

But another reason is that Iceland came in second this year and if we hadn’t won, they would have gotten their first win.

2012 - Euphoria by Loreen. Deserved.

Euphoria was amazing. It’s still a song that plays and holds up.

2015 - Heroes by Måns Zelmerlöw. Both deserved and undeserved.

I was not expecting him to win in 2015 and when he did, I was very happy about it. His song was good and I think what really stood out was the effects with his little animated dude. The only problem is that his win lead us to

1. Have like 7 years of men representing us in esc, all with pretty similar songs and I can barely remember how half of them except for in the chorus. The only exception was 2020 with a trio of women, but then we didn’t have any competition. Finally in 2022 we had a woman compete again and it really felt like a bit of fresh air.

2. Insert Måns every year in esc somehow. Stop inserting him. Stop milking the man.

2023 - Tattoo by Loreen. Undeserved…?

The question mark because I don’t know how to feel. I should feel happy that we’ve won, but I did not at all feel that. Especially when it was so clear that the audience wanted someone else. It didn’t feel right, it didn’t feel fair. And I think swedish media definitely makes it worse when they openly mock the others, especially Finland, over this win. They’re making us look like prudes and kind of insensitive with the things they say. It’s like not even swedish media can celebrate this because they wanna focus on the negative backlash. Like with this behavior, I think we deserve as little points as possible for at least 5-10 years so we can fucking calm down, because I’ve noticed kind of already after Måns’ win we’ve developed this hubris, and I had hoped we’d start to calm down, but now with this win I am sad to say it’s probably not gonna disappear for a longer while.

But at the same time. The song isn’t bad… and Loreen is a queen. And I gotta say, I didn’t think she’d win. First of all, she competed in our national competition in 2017 and didn’t even get to the finale, so I was unsure at first what would even be different this time. Then she won, and I thought, well, people have sent precious esc winners before. It’s never gone that well except for one time in the 80s, but that is an exception. But I guess Loreen just has that po-po-po-pooooooweer /j So seeing her win actually was a bit of a surprise. I knew she’d be popular with juries, but I really thought ”oh but the televoters will probably only give her 100 points at max”. Haha…

It’s cool that she’s the first woman to have won twice, but tbh, eventually it’s just gonna be a textbook trivia. I mean, how relevant is Johnny Logan now? Now we need other records to beat - maybe first band to win twice (Måneskin, Lordi? Maybe?), maybe first country to win with only jury/televotes because the other gave them 0? This year was also a learning year how to do it next time, or possibly a protest to change the system. Honestly, the voting system has changed so much in years, and now we at least have the power in the semi’s. Maybe it will change, maybe it will not. We’ll see.

Also as a final note: There’s a lot of songs you barely remember who have won. From 2016-2019, the only song I remember is Toy by Netta. Also, there’s gonna be so much other underserved wins in the future. Both in our national competitions to choose a representant from our country, and in esc. What happened this year has def happened before.

I’m a bit curious what next year will bring. But I do think this win was more undeserved than deserved, even if I could see why it would win too.

#esc #Eurovision #esc Sweden

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chemicalbrew · 2 years

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hi. if i wanted to get into a xeno series which one do you recommend i should start with? i've also been thinking of starting a trails/kiseki series but which one of those fellas should i start with too?

RE: Xeno: there are three different 'arcs' in this series, each related to the other moreso in theming than continuous story\plots. But within each subset there is a definite play order.

There's Xenogears, a single ps1 game from 1998 with troubled development that was supposed to be (iirc) part five of six and spans 2 discs, with the second one famously consisting mostly of text dumps with very brief gameplay breaks. It's easily the most complex work in the series plot-wise, with much of its lore literally hidden away in an artbook. I can't say I regret trying to get into it, but it was very intimidating, and I have no idea why I even bothered to try and do it when I was, like, 16.

There's Xenosaga, a trilogy of games on the ps2. These games are my personal weak point (the only ones I haven't watched\played), which I do plan to eventually fix in the future, but for now, I guess I'll just mention that they exist. This series was also planned to have six episodes rather than three, but from what I was told, it managed to have an ending stretch far less abrupt than Gears.

And then there's Xenoblade, which is easily the most accessible both in the literal sense with the games available on the Switch and in the 'having a digestible plot' sense. It's also, naturally, the most popular part of the franchise and the easiest jumping in point. Technically you can play 1 and 2 in either order, but playing in the exact order (1 then 2) tends to have more impact when it comes to certain story beats. I believe you have to play both before touching 3, though, but I can't vouch for this, because I still haven't played 3 yet (haha, I'm a fraud /j)

Xenogears and the first Xenosaga game had soundtracks composed by Yasunori Mitsuda (of Chrono Trigger\Cross fame), and he also contributed to some extent to Xenoblade 1\2. I'm mentioning this because Mitsuda is my favorite video game composer because this might help spark your interest!

RE: Trails\Kiseki: thankfully, this is much more straightforward. Play in release order, and don't skip anything! (Trails in the Sky FC-SC-3rd, Trails from Zero-to Azure, Trails of Cold Steel I-IV, Trails into Reverie).

Some people tend to suggest you start with Cold Steel instead, because it has a stronger start than Sky FC and also has more modern conveniences, but doing that will make things more complex down the line, since Cold Steel III and onward assume you know what happened in all previous games, including Zero and Azure. Therefore, you would have to have a sudden change in style\look just two games in! I don't see the merit of doing this, unless you really can't stomach the slow burn that Sky offers.

There's also a spinoff called Nayuta: Endless Trails that's scheduled to have an official English release next year. It is (or at least, appears to be) related to the series in nothing but name, but it is a very fun game in its own right with a banger soundtrack to boot, though it plays nothing like the rest of the series, being an action RPG with sectioned-off stages rather than a turnbased RPG set in a hub town\continent. I still can't believe such a niche title is finally getting what it deserves! <3

#tbh you're lucky to get into trails now if you do #you won't have to wait a year or more for zero and azure to come out and then by the time you're done with all those behemoths #reverie will be out too. maybe they'll even announce kuro smh #i myself had to wait about a year and a half total for each of the crossbell games (zero\azure) to be translated #and there was an infamous 4.5 year gap between sky fc and sc.#these games really are monstrous when you think about it #but that's why i like em #zero.txt #hope this is a good answer :D also hope you like whatever you choose to play #i myself have been planning to start cold steel soon and i have been playing this series on and off for like three years now.#...actually three years and nine months holy shit #i spent 28 days of my life playing these games. that's what my total playtime amounts to. and soon there will be more. it's great #in xenoblade i think i have like 220 hours in xenoblade 2 and i had a hundred something in 1. i dont even want to remember what i had in 1.#dark times

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nat-seal-well · 2 years

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Can we get hcs for the damn polycule(including Gavin) going to the freelancers art gallery showing? Like the freelancer is a popular artist and they have a public art gallery of their paintings. If that’s too many people you could just do Huxley or Gavin

I’m sorry this took so long!

All of them dress up for this, you can’t convince me otherwise

They have no clue how art galleries work, but people always dress up a bit in the movies, so… that’s what you do, right?

Please help them, because you know all four boys combined have like half a brain cell altogether when it comes to certain things

Lasko’s used to dressing at least business casual bc work so he’s the most comfortable. And Gavin’s used to it too, he knows how to clean up nice. But I feel like the other two would be hopeless

They still try though! They want to look nice for Freelancer

Damien ends up with his tie undone by the time they go home because he naturally runs warm all the time

Huxley doesn’t know how to tie a tie. Lasko has to help him multiple times

All four of them are so hyped. They want to see everything Freelancer’s been working on!

Honestly they’ve been psyched about it for ages

Hux and Gavin have been trying to sneak glances of the pieces Freelancer’s been painting whenever they can. Whenever they know Freelancer’s okay with it, of course. They always ask beforehand

The “sneaking” just makes things more fun

Lasko and Damien have also been dying to see, they’re just worried about being caught

All of them respect FL’s boundaries. They’re just super curious and excited

Everything they have seen so far, they’ve loved

So they can’t wait for the gallery! Now they can finally see what one of their loved ones has put ages of time and work into.

And now everyone else can see, too.

They’re all so fucking proud.

On the day of the gallery, Gavin’s not-so-subtly bragging about Freelancer

All of them are, but Gavin’s just the most bold about it. He’ll walk up to people and go on and on and Lasko probably has find him and drag him away

“Isn’t this one beautiful? One of my partners painted this. They’re even more beautiful, can you believe it—”

“Gavin stop, you’re going to embarrass them”

Damien and Lasko probably stick closest to Freelancer most of the night. They’re both less sure of social situations like this and they also want to be there for them if they’re nervous or anxious.

Gavin and Huxley are the ones who kinda wander around and talk to people.

All four of them love meeting Freelancer’s fans. They consider themselves fans too, obviously

They all know Freelancer’s work is stunning. But they love hearing how other people interpret their stuff, or the way it makes them feel, or the things that stand out of them the most. It’s different hearing things from a stranger’s perspective, someone who doesn’t know Freelancer as well and intimately as they do. They love it

Each of them does a complete walk-through at least once because they want to see every painting. Freelancer goes with them the first time and talks about what they were thinking when they were working on them.

If there are any pieces that were inspired by the boys, said boy is going to get all teary-eyed and emotional

(Even Damien, no matter what he says)

Galleries sell art sometimes, right? I’m not an artist but I’m pretty sure that that happens sometimes—

So, going with that, when someone decides to buy a painting, Freelancer is getting a spine-breaking hug from Huxley. RIP Freelancer’s bones

They won’t need to see a chiropractor for like at least a decade afterwards

There’s going to be a celebration dinner, Freelancer’s choice. The polycule isn’t taking no for an answer. It can be somewhere nice, or just a chill night spent at home with each other

All four of them are just so proud of their partner, and they love Freelancer so much. They deserve to be celebrated

Bonus: Caelum was at the gallery the entire time. He kept himself unseen from Freelancer and the elementals, though, and just found a corner to hang out in. Gavin saw him, but didn’t say anything. Caelum was grinning the entire time, because hey! That’s his best friend! Their paintings are the best

This was a little shorter than I was aiming for but I hope you like it anyway I’m sorry T-T

#redacted asmr #redacted damn polycule #redacted hcs #redacted freelancer #redacted gavin #redacted huxley #redacted lasko #redacted damien #redacted caelum #this was a lot of fun to write though thank you #I’m sorry I don’t know how art galleries work—

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tippedbykreider · 3 years

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it’s all coming back to me | c. kreider (i)

Word Count: 8.2k Warnings: Slow burn, exes to friends to lovers, relationship breakdown, swearing, alcohol mention. Author’s Note: So many of you have been requesting for this to be brought back! The consensus was that you’d rather have it in smaller chunks so I’ll be posting each new part weekly and they’ll come in between 6 & 9k per chapter. Not only is it more manageable for you guys but it also gives me chance to keep writing new content for it 💖 There is a playlist for this fic which I posted separately, it gives a chronological feel for their relationship and their story. This has been a tonne of fun to write so far and I can’t wait to tell the rest of their story. Summary: Chris Kreider x Reader Insert. They say that all good things come to an end, that you can never have too much of a good thing, but when Chris decided to end your relationship you wondered how anything could ever be good again. A chance meeting 9 years later drags up all those feelings you both thought you were done with. Can you work through your hurt and pain to see what it is that Chris is trying to show you? Or are some things better left forgotten? Tagging: @danglesnipecelly - this girl deserves a writing credit on this thing because she’s pushed me to keep going with this and her input and advice has been invaluable. Thank you for all the support on this one, K 💖

*Italics indicates a flashback*

The notion of fresh starts is often something that is associated with the arrival of the New Year. People use the turning of the calendar to turn over a new leaf, to learn a new skill, to challenge themselves to be better than the year before and to let go of all that was and focus on all that will be. There’s something inherently magical about a new beginning, a fresh start; sometimes it’s the excitement of what might lie ahead and other times it’s the comfort in knowing that you can seize the opportunity be whoever you want to be and to reinvent yourself. It’s the line in the sand and the final full stop at the end of the chapter and it’s the anticipation of picking up the pen and writing those first few words on the new page.

For Chris Kreider this feeling wasn’t one that was brought about by the strike of the clock at midnight on New Year’s Eve because while the date on the calendar changed and while he still spent the next couple of weeks dating things with the wrong year just like everybody else, it still often felt like nothing really changed for him. Chris could only feel like the year was truly coming to an end when the first petals of spring exploded like fireworks in a symphony of technicolour blooms and he found himself giving the locker-room clearout interview. That was the end of the year, the full stop, the line and the warmer days and the balmy nights would give him the opportunity to decompress ready for the turning of the page come September when his focus would once again turn back to hockey.

Chris loved New York; that much was undeniably true. He loved the vibrancy of the city but he also loved the way that he could melt into the background or enjoy the feeling of quiet solace his apartment gave him. It was oftentimes a bolthole, an oasis of peace during an otherwise hectic few months between September and May but the end of the hockey season and the arrival of summer had him seeking the cry of gulls on the breath of a gentle breeze and that crisp, purifying sea air that always managed to fill his lungs differently. Rowayton wasn’t far, a little over an hour on a good day but with its coastal Connecticut charm, slower pace and pretty houses, especially the ones that overlooked the water, it was a world away from NYC and exactly what Chris needed to reset and recharge.

It was a Saturday morning in mid-July and for the first time in a long time, longer than Chris could recall, he allowed himself to sleep in. His bedroom window had been open all night and the welcome breeze snaked through the slats in the blinds and carried on it the faintest smell of salt and sunshine. Chris stretched his muscles in big pulls around the bed before he settled on his back and inhaled deeply, the fresh air clearing his mind and filling his body as the last remnants of sleep slipped away on the exhale of breath. Imbued with energy, he climbed out of bed and pulled the blinds all the way up, flooding the bedroom with beautiful incandescence born out of a cloudless sky. He didn’t make his bed though, not yet, because while he had left his room and was padding down the stairs, he had every intention of returning to the still warm sheets to read a chapter or two of the book on his nightstand with a fresh cup of coffee, a cinnamon and raisin bagel, that invigorating coastal air and the oceanscape outside as the soundtrack.

One chapter turned into two and two became three and before Chris knew it, the sun was high in the sky and lunchtime beckoned. It was shaping up to be a beautiful summer day in Rowayton and Chris thought it would be a crying shame to spend his time at home, even if the page-turner he’d held in his hands moments ago seemed incredibly appealing out on the back deck overlooking the water. It was then he decided to take advantage of that gorgeous sunshine, take in the scenery and stretch his legs by going for a walk into town to pick up a few essentials at Rowayton Market. For all it was a small, it contained everything he would need to keep him going for a few more days until he’d finally need to drive into Norwalk to do a more substantial grocery shop, something that he’d admittedly been putting off. The Market also had some of the best baked goods and fresh coffee in the village and if you asked Chris it would be pretty rude to not take advantage – it was right there, after all, and Chris never could say no to a still-warm Danish and Americano.

He walked slower than he usually would, a conscious effort on his part due to the fact that his legs seemed to want to go into an auto-pilot primed for life in New York City. He was in no rush though, he never was whenever he came here and even though it was a route he’d walked hundreds of times before, and one he would walk hundreds more, Chris still wanted to soak in all the pretty trees and shrubs that were nestled in amongst those classical New England style homes, all shingled exteriors and white, gridded windows in soft muted colours that mirrored the coastal landscape of the village. It was a world away from the brick and the concrete and the bright lights of the city and while Chris loved all of those things about New York and loved wandering through the streets of Tribeca and Soho, getting lost in bookstores and hole-in-the-wall cafes, he also loved the sand, shale and stars and those were things that he just couldn’t find in the city that never slept.

There were quite a few people out and about, Chris noted, most of them he recognised as being residents with their friendly smiles and waved greetings, but there were a handful of tourists too; there always was on weekends during the summer. Not that Chris minded, of course, because for all the village was a popular escape for those seeking a break from the metropolitan life of the nearby hub of cities, it never succumbed to the all-too-often inevitability of commercialisation and still managed to hold on to its peaceful charm, despite it not quite being the quaint fishing village it once was back in the days before the Civil War.

It was one of the reasons why Chris found himself retreating here in the summer and not making the trip back home to spend the off-season in Massachusetts. He would go back to Boxford for a couple of weeks, naturally, because family was something that had always been important to Chris and he would never miss an opportunity to spend time with his parents and sister, but if he had the choice between spending his entire summer being bitten to death by mosquitoes back home (his father always did say that they were the town bird, after all) or feeling the gentle kiss of the ocean breeze against his skin, there was no real contest. Rowayton would always win.

The main street through town was busier, which wasn’t exactly unexpected and if anything it only seemed to add to the charm of the village. Chris decided to head straight to the market to pick up his groceries, if only to facilitate the Danish eating in a more timely-fashion. He picked up a basket as he entered and proceeded to add only the essentials he’d need to get him through the next couple of days. He’d pay for his shopping before going to the coffee bar, because trying to pack his reusable grocery bag with a full takeout cup was a mistake he’d made once before and was sure to never repeat again.

With his groceries purchased and bags packed in such a way that the couple of bottles of wine he’d picked up wouldn’t clink together when he walked (it was three to be exact but after seeing the selection of cured meats, cheeses and olives available he thought it’d be a crime if they didn’t find their way into his basket to come home with him, and if there was cheese there had to be wine), Chris made his way to the coffee counter situated near the Market entrance.

You couldn’t remember the last time you’d taken a trip away without the company of anyone else but the last couple of months at work had been incredibly stressful, with projects seemingly coming out of your ears and while you knew your mother had been worried by your suggestion of taking off somewhere alone for the weekend, she also knew better than to fight you on something you’d quite clearly already set your mind to. If you were being completely honest, your plans for the first full weekend you’d had off in months would have consisted of not setting foot outside of your apartment or engaging in any kind of unnecessary conversation had you decided to stay home in Hartford, at least this way you’d be getting some fresh air and the sun on your face.

It was just shy of a two hour drive down to Rowayton, which had the dual benefit of being close enough to home that it didn’t feel like a huge trek just to get there, but also being far enough away that you would be a complete stranger in this town and could take the time to decompress and recharge while blending into the background, and the place was pretty to boot. You’d found a little studio Airbnb not too far away in South Norwalk, figuring that you’d only be using it as somewhere to sleep as you’d planned on spending as much of your time as possible being right by that ocean with the wind in your hair and the warm sun on your skin.

That’s how you’d planned on spending your Saturday afternoon, sat on the sand of Bayley Beach with a good book and a cup of coffee. It was set to be a balmy day, with temperatures sitting in the mid-eighties and the last thing you wanted to be doing in the heat was any amount of excessive walking. So with that in mind, you’d spent your morning exploring the village and taking in the sights and sounds. The gentle protest of your stomach told you it was lunchtime before you’d even taken the opportunity to glance down at your watch and a quick Google search pointed you in the direction of somewhere to get that all important cup of coffee and a small bite to eat.

Rowayton Market didn’t look like much from the outside in the sense that it was a little on the petite side, but the reviews were great and the coffee was allegedly some of the best in the village and that was good enough for you. You were greeted with the smell of freshly baked goods and ground coffee, which was welcoming enough before you even saw the bright smile of the girl behind the counter. Your eyes drifted over the selection of pastries, each one more delicious looking than the last and you knew that you were going to have a hard time choosing just one. You knew you’d have to make a decision, though, suddenly aware of the small line that had seemingly materialised right out of thin air behind you and while you were sure that these people were more accustomed to a slower pace of life, the city girl in you, who was so used to living life in the fast lane, didn’t want to keep these good people waiting while you deliberated. You’d go with your usual and that would be that.

Chris’s attention was fixed out of the large glass windows at the front of the shop, watching as people milled in the street and went about their daily business. It was something he quite often did, whether he was here or back home in New York. There was something oddly soothing about watching the world go by, he thought, and occasionally he’d catch something that would quirk his lips up into a smile, like the sight before him now of a rather large gull in the process of committing larceny against what he could only assume was an unsuspecting tourist. Their sandwich was held high above their head while their free hand attempted to shoo the bird away with little success. He chuckled quietly to himself then, not least because the gulls seemed to get more brazen with each year that passed and he was sure that one of these days he’d see someone’s lunch get snatched right out of their hand by the feathered menaces.

Chris had no reason at all to believe as he stood in that line that everything was about to change. Why would he? The day had started like any other. He’d picked up his groceries in this store more times than he could count, he’d waited in a line just like this one for his coffee and Danish and yet, in that moment, something as innocuous as a woman’s voice would bring feelings that he thought he was done with, and memories he thought had strayed out of his mind for good, flooding back to the surface. But it wasn’t just any woman’s voice, no, it wasn’t as detached and neutral as that. It was your voice; a voice he hadn’t heard in nine years and it was something as simple as a coffee order, an order that he now knew to have remained the same since the day you’d first met at Boston College all those years ago, that blew the dam wide open and every word the two of you had ever spoken, from day one to the last thing you ever said to him, came rushing back.

The sound of Chris’s voice calling your name was something you never thought you’d hear out loud again. It was a voice you’d only heard in your dreams for many years after he walked out of your life, but even that had faded beyond memory to where you weren’t a hundred percent certain that you’d be able to remember what it sounded like anymore. And yet, in the middle of a tiny supermarket in Rowayton, you heard him clear as day with his tongue rolling around the syllables of your name with the same fondness, even after all this time and it was like you’d never forgotten the sound at all.

Autumn was beginning to make her presence felt in Boston. The palette on campus had shifted from a spectrum of vivid greens to shades of deep russet, amber, ochre and vermillion; but even above the changing leaves, the turning of the calendar brought a slight chill to the air that had you reaching for your jacket on a morning as you left your dorm.

Today was no different. The temperature had dropped again overnight as November creeped ever closer and it was chilly enough that you had to draw your coat tighter around you as you walked across campus towards class. Your brisk pace had bought you enough time to make a stop at the coffee stand just outside of Campion where your first class of the day was being held. There was a decent selection on offer, but it wasn’t enough to sway you from ordering your usual.

You rooted around your backpack for your wallet while the barista prepared your coffee and grabbed you your cinnamon roll, unaware of the new presence to your right, before handing over the money and taking the coffee and pastry bag from the young man’s hands.

“Coffee and cinnamon roll, eh? Now that’s the breakfast of champions.”

You turned your head towards the source of the voice, lips quirking into a small smile at the sight of the stranger beside you who looked to be not much older than you were, incredibly tall and broad for his apparent age but not for his height. He was grinning at you with a fullness that made his eyes crinkle at the corners and gave him a unique kind of softness.

“My mom would disagree,” you replied with a smirk. “If she found out I was having this for breakfast she’d be in her car so fast and dragging my ass back to Hartford.”

He laughed at that, loud and bright with his head tipped back slightly before running a hand through his dark brown hair that was shorter on the sides but had the faintest hint of a curl at the longer strands on top.

“I won’t tell her if you don’t.”

“Oh, I’m definitely not telling her,” you grinned as you swung your backpack over one shoulder. “So looks like you’re sworn to secrecy.”

You studied him for a brief moment, with the way he was still grinning at you and his eyes that seemed to sparkle behind his dark lashes before your brain gently reminded you that you, in fact, had somewhere you needed to be. “Well, I hate to impose a vow of silence on you like some sort of mafia boss and then immediately split but I uh I gotta head to class.”

“No problem at all and hey, your secret is safe with me. In fact, I’ve forgotten already. What were we talking about?”

There it was again, that smile of his that made you want to stay rooted right where you were standing and look at it all day, but class beckoned and so you gave an awkward wave of your hand and a soft laugh before you turned and headed into the building behind you without another glance back. If you had you’d have seen the stranger from the coffee stand watch until you’d disappeared from view, with that smile still on his face.

This little routine of yours would continue over the course of the next few weeks. Every Tuesday morning, at around 8:45am, you’d find yourself stood at that coffee stand outside of Campion to get your coffee and cinnamon roll, and every Tuesday morning, at around 8:46am, the tall stranger would appear beside you with his kind eyes and his bright smile. You’d exchange a ‘hello’ and a friendly grin and you’d laugh more often than not too while you made pleasant small talk before you both said your goodbyes and went to your respective classes, though you would always leave first and he would watch you go until you’d disappeared into the building.

It was mid-November, now, and the campus of Boston College was firmly in autumn’s frigid grasp. The temperatures continued to drop, seemingly overnight, which had you bundled up in your hat and scarf and the trees had shed their branches of leaves, crunching underfoot with the slight frost as you made your way towards Campion. Your hands were shoved deep into your coat pockets to ward off the gnawing chill and you were looking forward to being able to warm them around your coffee cup.

You approached the stand as normal, rooting through your backpack for your wallet ready to order.

“Hey!”

You looked up, your features fixed in a state of mild confusion while you looked for the source of the voice you recognised but couldn’t quite place. It was then you saw him though, all bright eyed and bushy tailed with a medium coffee and pastry bag held up in one of his large hands as if on display. He was grinning at you and cocked his head, beckoning you over with the wordless gesture.

“Hey, yourself,” you smiled as you approached. “What’s this then?” You tilted your head slightly at the items in his hand as he offered them to you.

“Breakfast of champions.”

Your eyebrow quirked as you took the coffee from him before taking a tentative sip, smiling while the warm liquid slid down your throat.

“You got my coffee order right.”

“It wasn’t hard,” he smirked. “You order the same thing every week and if you open that little paper bag I think you’ll find a cinnamon roll in there.”

Sure enough, as you opened the bag you were greeted with the sight of a perfectly formed cinnamon roll and you couldn’t help the grin that sparked at your lips and spread the full width of your face.

“I don’t order the same thing every week.”

“You do,” he replied with a laugh. “Every Tuesday for the last 5 weeks you’ve come to this coffee stand and ordered a medium Americano with half and half and a cinnamon roll and every Tuesday for the last 5 weeks I’ve been meaning to ask you your name.”

Your face flushed warm at that, not only at his words but at the sure little smile he was giving you and the way his eyes were sparkling. In fact, now that you were really looking at him properly, you were knocked back a bit by the perpetual kindness that seemed to rest in them and you couldn’t help but notice how they really were the perfect shade of hazel, like a forest with a deep bark heart surrounded by leaves that were every shade of green. You’d been quiet a little too long though and so you took a settling sip of coffee to give you enough time to find your voice again and tell him your name.

“Nice to meet you,” he smiled as he offered you his hand, which was large and warm as you shook it.

“And who should I thank for the coffee?” you asked.

His smile grew into a grin then, the kind that you’d noticed over the course of the last few weeks that made his eyes crinkle and happiness radiate from him, before simply replying:

“Chris.”

“Chris?”

It was as if time had stood still in that little Market in Rowayton, where your surroundings become a still-frame and there’s nothing but static in your ears. You’d often thought about what it would have been like to see him again. Those first couple of years after he’d left Boston College had you imagining all kinds of scenarios, much like the one you were in right now where you’d bump into each other in a supermarket or a pharmacy, anywhere really, but now that you were living it, seeing it, breathing it, there was nothing you could have conjured up in your imagination that would have prepared you for what it would really feel like to see him again. If you were to be completely honest, you were glad that your coffee and cinnamon roll were still on the top of the counter because you were certain that they would have fallen right out of your hands and onto the Market floor.

He abandoned his position in the line then, as if you speaking his name was a call to him, and maybe it was, on some level, but the truth and simplicity of it was that you were suspended in a state of pure disbelief and even in the short time it took for him to close the distance between you both, you were still yet to move and fix your features to something more neutral.

“Hey.”

It was a simple greeting that he gave you and logically you knew that there wasn’t really any tangible meaning behind that single word he spoke and yet there was something about the look in his eyes and the warmth in the smile he gave you.

“It’s been a while.”

“It has,” you replied, finally finding your voice. “You look, you look good.”

It wasn’t a lie either, he did look good. The tall college boy you remembered, who was just a little too slight for his height, had filled out; you could tell that just from the way the fabric of his t-shirt stretched across the broad plains of his chest and strained around his biceps, and he was no longer clean shaven, which was something that had always made him look quite baby-faced. Instead he was sporting a neatly trimmed goatee and while he had kept his hair short on the sides, just like you’d remembered it, it was longer on the top than it had been in college and the curls were sweeping in a way that reminded you of the waves just beyond the Market door. He looked older, yes, which is exactly what you would have expected in the nine years since you’d last seen him but his eyes were still exactly the same, sparkling and full of mischief , yet still soft, perhaps even softer than before on account of the faint lines around them drawn by time’s fair hand.

“So do you,” he grinned. “You cut your hair.”

“I did,” you looked down as your face flushed with warmth, unsure exactly what you were supposed to say to him.

It was something you’d thought about during those imagined scenarios where you’d magically bump into each other again and you’d thought about all of the things that you would say to him. You would tell him about how much you’d cried when he left you behind to live out his boyhood dream and how angry you were that he didn’t want you to be a part of that, how it felt like all the plans you’d ever talked about were nothing more than empty words and how hurt that had made you feel. You felt like you at least deserved that, especially given that it was never just a casual fling between you both. After all, you’d been practically inseparable for two years. You’d been inseparable ever since he’d said those three words that mean so much. But now that he was here in front of you, all those words that had swirled around in your head and in your chest like a hurricane for so long, dissipated into nothing and you found yourself clutching at straws to find something, anything, to say.

Chris could sense this though. Of course he could because he was Chris and he had always been so in tune with you and your emotions and the fact that he was still able to read you so well was both a comfort and a knife in your chest, and while he internally grimaced at the fact he was having to fall back on using small talk between you both, he felt like it was what you needed in the moment. He wouldn’t expect things to go back to how they were after all this time, he couldn’t, and so he started with something simple, something he knew you would be able give him an answer to.

“So, what brings you to sunny Rowayton?”

“I could ask you the same question,” you replied.

“Ah,” Chris grinned, trying to keep the mood light. “See I asked you first and also, I live here so therefore the ‘question answering’ responsibility falls back to you.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at that, at both his words and the silly little expression he was wearing and despite all the years that sat between you both like a void and all of your hurt that was held within it, it all seemed to briefly melt away and in that moment it was like you were back at that little coffee stand outside of Campion.

“I didn’t realise this was an interrogation. Wait is this one of those little weird cult towns? Should I be worried?”

Chris knew by the little smirk you were wearing that you meant no malice behind your words and so he responded by sucking in air through his teeth before speaking again with one of those smiles that went all the way up to his eyes.

“Watch it, Pickle.”

Your stomach fell right into your shoes in that moment, that name he used only for you slipped from his lips like it was the easiest thing in the world for him to do, like he’d never stopped calling you it and like it hadn’t been nine years since you’d last spoke a word to one another. Chris knew all this of course and he didn’t need to rely on intuition either because he could see every emotion written all over your face.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly on the exhale of a breath. “I um.. Force of habit, I guess.”

“It’s okay,” you muttered, not quite meeting his eyes. “Although not exactly ‘habit’, it’s been how long?”

Chris winced at that, the reality of how he left things between you both slapping him in the face and he was filled with the guilt that he’d spent almost a decade pushing out of his chest and shoving into the darkest corner of his memory where he would hope it would rest undisturbed. He knew that you were angry at him for leaving things the way he did, how could you not be? After all, he was the one who had broken your heart and left you in Boston, but it was never as simple as that, even back then there was so much he should have said but that was something he wouldn’t realise until much later when it was too late to repair the damage. The thinly veiled hurt in your eyes and the way your mouth was downturned was demonstrative of that fact.

“I know,” he all but whispered. “It just-“

“It’s fine, Chris. Can we just forget about it? Please?”

He nodded, watching with a quiet kind of sadness on his features as you turned to finally pick your coffee and cinnamon roll up off the counter before he cleared his throat softly to continue speaking.

“You never did say what brought you into town.”

You took a sip of coffee to give yourself long enough to settle the thundering in your chest before answering him, because for all your heart felt like it was about to burst from all the hurt you’d managed to hide away up until now, there was also a weird sense of nostalgia that came with seeing him and hearing his voice again, and even though he’d shattered your heart completely when he decided he no longer wanted you in his life, your mother had raised you right and you knew the proper thing to do was to indulge him in a little small talk, even if for nothing more than old time’s sake.

“Just here for the weekend,” you replied. “Work has been nuts lately and I needed some time away from home.”

Chris shuffled on his feet for a moment as you spoke while his eyes darted between you and the door that would lead to the outside world and the possibility of the two of you parting once more. It was an unexpected pull that he felt in his chest at that thought, you reappearing in his life out of the blue only to slip out of it just as suddenly by doing something as simple as walking out of that supermarket back out into the wide world. For nine years he’d thought about where you were, what you were doing, if you were okay, if you were happy and with each year that passed without seeing your face or hearing your voice, he’d resigned himself to the fact that you were lost to him, drifting out there in the seas of life never to see you again. He didn’t know why you’d suddenly come back to him now, whether by some stroke of luck or twist of fate, although Chris couldn’t have cared less which one it was. All he cared about was the fact that you were here at all and it was an opportunity that he was sure he wasn’t going to waste. He didn’t even know for certain that you would want to give him any of your time after what had happened when he left Boston, but he wanted to at least give you what he should have all those years ago and that was an explanation and an opportunity for you to tell him how his actions had made you feel.

“Hey, what are you up to this afternoon?”

“Not much,” you shrugged. “I was just going to sit on Bayley Beach and enjoy the nice weather.”

“Would you mind some company? No pressure, of course, I understand if you… I understand if you’d rather not want to spend any time with me.”

You exhaled then and Chris’s shoulders visibly sagged, bracing himself for your polite refusal, but your response was not one that he was expecting and truthfully, it wasn’t one that you had expected either.

“Honestly?” you started, getting swept up in the nostalgia of seeing him again before the rational part of your brain could catch up. “That would be nice.”

“Great,” he smiled in what you could see was pure relief. “Do you mind if I grab a coffee before we head out?”

“Sure,” you replied. “I’ll wait outside for you.”

You headed out the door and were sure to stand where Chris could see you, knowing him well enough to realise that he’d be worrying, at least on some level, that you’d slip off into the crowd. You’d never do that to him, of course, even after everything, because while he had broken your heart, he was also the first person you’d ever truly loved and when you’d put the pieces back together, you couldn’t help but keep a part of him wrapped up amongst the tape and string holding those pieces together while you healed. It was in doing that that you understood that he would always have a special place in your heart and honestly? You were kind of okay with that because while the ending hadn’t exactly been perfect, the two years you’d spent together were and you wouldn’t have changed that time for anything.

You weren’t sure what exactly had possessed you to let Chris talk you into venturing off campus and out in the early-February snow to get burgers at Eagle’s Deli but you were cursing those sparkling eyes and that roguish grin of his for wearing down your sensibilities as you righted yourself after what felt like the hundredth near-fall. It was slushy underfoot, the kind that’s a twisted ankle or sprained knee waiting to happen and while you’d dressed weather appropriately in your winter boots and heavy parka, you were still very newborn lamb-like in your movements which was amusing Chris to no end.

“Come on, slowpoke,” he called from up ahead as he grinned at you over his shoulder.

“Not all of us can be hockey prodigies and thrive in this kind of inclement weather,” you grumbled, shuffling slowly so as not to slip.

Chris laughed as he came back towards you with confident and purposeful steps, surprising you when he offered his arm for you to loop yours through.

“Now, I’m no expert in geography or meteorology but it snows in Hartford, no?”

He was grinning at you, the kind of grin that you had to fight with every fibre of your being not to reciprocate because you’d already committed to your grumpy act and you couldn’t have him thinking he’d cracked you already, even if he, in fact, had.

“Yes,” you stressed. “But I don’t make a habit of going out in it to get burgers like a crazy person.”

The cackle you received from him in reply was loud and a little wild and you couldn’t help but be completely captivated by the way his cheeks were ruddy from the cold and the snowflakes clinging to the curls on top of his head and long eyelashes. Tuesday morning coffees with him outside of Campion before class had turned into coffees in actual cafes during free periods and getting lunch together. It was even dragging your body out into the cold to the Alumni Stadium with your blanket and your thermos to watch Chris play with the BC Eagles because you couldn’t say no to that damn smile and those damn eyes and even now, as you looked at him taking in the scenery along the Chestnut Hill Reservoir pathway, you knew that they were going to be the death of you.

“It’s really pretty along here,” he spoke, more quietly than before; softer too. “You wouldn’t think we were in the middle of Boston.”

“Yeah, it’s a nice walk,” you agreed before shooting him a smirk and a look. “Would be nice in the spring sunshine too.”

“Yeah, yeah. I get it, Little Miss Chilly.”

“I don’t know what you have against being warm, Kreider. Warm is good, warm is nice-“

You shrieked as your feet went out from under you, courtesy of a patch of black ice hidden under slushy snow and you squeezed your eyes shut in preparation for the impact of your ass hitting the cold, hard ground. But it never came.

“It’s okay,” Chris spoke reassuringly, one hand tight around your bicep while his other arm was curled around your waist, holding you upright. “I’ve got you.”

You opened your eyes then to be met with Chris’s looking right at you, all moss and bark and warm. He was smiling at you but it was different to the easy grin he usually wore around you, this was softer somehow and all rational thought was replaced by one of those monkeys playing the cymbals. For the briefest of seconds, and for reasons completely unknown to you, the monkey tried to take the wheel and the idea of kissing him right there, in the middle of the pathway that had made an attempt on your life, flashed into your head.

Maybe it was the snow and how perfect and picturesque the scene around you felt? Maybe it was the fact he’d just saved you from slipping? But the reality of it was that those eyes and that smile held some sort of power over you that you couldn’t yet fully understand. You shook your head quickly, if only to take back control of the situation before you did something more embarrassing than almost falling on your ass.

“Thanks,” you muttered as you regained your composure. “This damn pathway.”

“I’ve got an idea,” Chris grinned as he turned so his back was to you and stooped slightly. “Hop on.”

“You can’t be serious?”

“I never joke about piggy-backs,” he replied in a faux solemn tone with the face to match. “Come on, we’ll get you to the Deli in one piece one way or another.”

And that was how you ended up with your arms looped around Chris’s shoulders and his strong hands holding the backs of your legs as he carried you on his back to Eagle’s Deli.

Not twenty minutes later, the pair of you were shuffling into a booth as you shed your coats, gloves and scarves, Chris grinning at you while you blew on your fingers in an attempt to restore warmth into them.

“See, told you I’d get you here in one piece.”

You scoffed at him and shot a playful glance across the table separating you both.

“You’re not human, that is the only explanation for how you’re able to walk in that,” you nodded towards the window where the snow was still falling to illustrate your point before continuing, “and not fall flat on your face.”

“Or my ass,” he added with a grin.

“Hey, that never actually happened!”

Chris’s face split into an even bigger smile at your little protest and the pout that had formed on your lips and while the gentle teasing between you was simply a part of the dynamic of your friendship, Chris would have been lying if he didn’t admit that the reason he did it so often was because you always looked so adorable trying to rebut him.

“No, you’re right. It didn’t,” he mused with a smirk, not needing to remind you that it was him who had come to your rescue judging from the unimpressed look you were throwing his way.

“All I’m saying is that we could’ve just gone to Hillside for lunch.”

“But the burgers here are superior,” he countered, smiling at you. “And you got to enjoy a beautiful walk in the snow with me so who’s the real winner he- mmpf!”

Chris was cut off by your damp mitten hitting his face, brows knitting into a slight frown before laughing at the proud grin you wore at the accuracy of your throw.

“That wasn’t very nice,” he said with mock hurt.

“Maybe I’m not a very nice person.”

“I don’t believe that for one second,” he replied, but there was no teasing in his tone this time, only the kind of sincerity that had your face flushing warm and had you reaching for the menu to hide behind under the pretence of looking at the choices available.

He couldn’t help but smile at the awkwardness with which you were trying and failing to hide from him but soon joined you in picking up a menu and perusing it, despite already knowing what he was going to order.

It was a few moments before the waitress came over and while neither of you spoke the silence between you both wasn’t exactly awkward even though Chris knew there was something about his last words that had had some kind of effect on you. He was right, of course, because despite the fact that you’d had hold of this menu for a good couple of minutes already, you hadn’t actually looked at a single thing on it even though you’d made such a show of doing just that and now that Chris had ordered, a cheeseburger with fries and a chocolate milkshake, the waitress was looking at you expectantly. Unable to form any kind of rational thought under that kind of pressure, you found yourself simply saying “same” and soon enough it was just you and Chris at the table once more.

Chris was looking at you like he had something he wanted to say and the unreadable expression on his face had you feeling somewhat uneasy for reasons you hadn’t quite ascertained but probably understood on some level if you let yourself think about it for more than a second. He could feel the nervous energy radiating from you though and so rather than pursue his current train of thought, he picked a topic of conversation that was much safer and knew you’d be comfortable with: school.

You talked about your classes and upcoming assignments while he listened intently and you returned the favour while he spoke earnestly about hockey and his own academic workload. It was so easy to settle into a natural rhythm with Chris whenever you talked, as if you’d been having conversations like these for years when in fact it had only been a few months of knowing him and a few weeks of meeting up like this. None of that seemed to really matter though, not when the conversation was good and the chemistry felt right and especially not when it was clear that you were both on the same page when it came to your friendship. There was something else there though, something that was beyond being purely platonic, that much was becoming crystal clear and yet despite the ease in which it was to talk to him about literally anything else, there was something that had you stumbling over the thought of bringing it up.

You were saved from falling down that particular rabbit hole by the reappearance of the waitress, two burgers that were big enough to have your eyes popping out of your head in her hands. Chris chuckled from behind his milkshake at the look of disbelief on your face as your burger was set down in front of you before he reached for the bottle of ketchup between you both. You took the top of your burger bun off, nose immediately wrinkling at the sight of four pickle slices resting on top of the lettuce and tomato.

“Ugh, I forgot to ask for no pickles.”

Chris looked up from where he was squirting ketchup onto his bun, his eyes meeting yours briefly as his face split into a grin.

“You’re not one of those people, are you?”

“Shut up,” you grumbled as you began to pick the offensive green menaces off your food and set them at the edge of your plate. “I like what I like.”

Chris reached across and began to transfer the pickles from your plate to his burger, smiling widely at you as he did so.

“Well, I might have found a solution to this particular pickle you find yourself in,” he chuckled at the exaggerated groan and roll of your eyes at the expense of his joke. “You see, I love pickles.”

“You love anything,” you countered. “You’re like a human dumpster.”

“Hurtful,” he replied as he clutched at his chest. “But also true so I’ll allow it.”

You picked up a fry from your plate and threw it at him, immediately filled with equal parts surprise and a strange sense of awe as he reflexively moved and caught it in his mouth.

“You really are a dumpster,” you grinned as you shook your head at the proud little smile he was giving you.

“I am, so how about you don’t ask for no pickles on your burgers and you just give ‘em to me instead?”

It was easy to agree to his proposal, not least because his logic actually made a lot of sense when you thought about it, but mostly because of the way his eyes were sparkling and the way his smile made you feel warm all over, like the falling snow and freezing air outside didn’t exist, like your fingers and toes hadn’t been numbed by the biting cold during your walk here, like there had only ever been sunshine. It was also why you’d agreed to let him carry you back through the snow to your dorm, his large hands hooked around the backs of your thighs and your arms draped over his shoulders much like during the walk to the diner. You’d protested initially, of course, not wanting to burden Chris or put you both at risk of an injury due to the slippery conditions, but he wasn’t about to be convinced otherwise and remained unperturbed by the weather, gently reminding you that he had in fact got you to the diner in one piece in the first instance at your objections.

Truthfully, despite the mild embarrassment you felt at your complete ineptitude when it came to walking on ice, you couldn’t help but be more than a little impressed at Chris’s sheer strength. You wondered then, about how hard he must work in the gym to develop such a strong core because while you knew from first-hand experience how slippery it was underfoot, he didn’t falter once throughout the entire walk home and with the way he was talking amiably about his favourite places in the city he called home, and how his hands were holding your legs so surely and securely, you felt safe as houses with your chest pressed into his back – even with your thick coats and layers of winter clothing between you.

He walked with you on his back right up to the entrance of your dorm, setting you down carefully on the pathway that looked to have been newly shovelled before he turned to face you, his cheeks once again ruddy from the cold and your walk home.

“I don’t want to say ‘I told you so’ twice in one day,” he grinned, sucking air in through his teeth and shaking his head slightly. “But didn’t I say that I’d get you home safely?”

“So what if you were right twice?” you rebutted with a playful nudge. “It’s not like it’s ever gonna happen again.”

“Watch it, Pickle. I’ll have you know that I’m right about a lot of things.”

“Pickle?” you barked out a laugh, watching as Chris walked slowly backwards down the path away from you with that smile still on his face. “What kind of a name is that? I don’t even like pickles.”

“I know,” he called out into the growing distance between you both. “But I do, remember?”

You shook your head at him, chuckling to yourself with a smile on your lips that mirrored his as you watched him.

“See ya Tuesday then, Trash Can!” you hollered.

His raucous cackle cut through the silent flurry as he continued to walk slowly backwards, his grin clear as day even through the falling snowflakes.

“Trash Can! Fucking, Trash Can! Man, you got some serious chirps, Pickle. Can you throw hands too? I mean, I know you suck at keeping your balance on the ice but we could use an enforcer! I could push you around?”

“Anytime, anywhere!” you laughed, watching him with a grin until he had waved his goodbye and turned away before he retreated into the heavy snow.

Part ii

#it's all coming back to me fic #my writing #chris kreider #chris kreider fic #chris kreider x reader #nhl fic #nhl writing #nhl fanfic #nhl fanfiction #hockey fic #hockey fanfic #hockey fanfiction #hockey writing

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natsukitakama · 3 years

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Fluffy alphabet (A, B, C, E, I, J, K, L, N, R, U, and W) Floch edition

Request : Could I please get fluff alphabet (season 4) Floch Forster A, B, C, E, I, J, K, L, N, R, U, and W with fem s/o please?

Author note : I’m sorry for taking so long hope you’ll enjoy this ♡

Warning : Fluffy / Spoiler from season 3 and 4 of Snk

Masterlist

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

Before the Shinganshima’s event, he used to take you on a date around the city. He took advantage of his situation in the army and the fact that the survey corps were popular to go to the city. Not only he could show you off but can also act all cocky telling you story about his adventure outside the wall. He talked a lot about himself but most of the time you didn’t mind cause you were quite curious about his life as a soldier and what he saw outside the wall since you never left your « comfort » if we can say that. Now, after the Shinganshima he decided to become a Yeagarist and let’s be honest after that, much to his dismay, he doesn’t have much free time. Which mean that everytime you two could have some quality times, he spends it with you in the comfort of your house, letting you pamper him because he craves your affection. So yeah you have spent a lot of time on your house chilling around. He is very ashamed of that because he wants the best for you. He kept whispering to himself that everything is for your safety and that after reaching his goal he’ll make it up for you.

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

Honestly ? The way you can keep up with his shit. Floch isn’t an idiot and he knows that he can be a bother, a real dick sometimes, and the way you never were angry at him each time he was being en ass never felt to amaze him. Your calm and kind nature was something he really loves about you, the fact that he doesn’t have to be ashamed for who he is and that he can be natural around because you’ll find a way to make things right so Floch doesn’t end up having troubles. You’re his light, his arch. Now if we’re talking about physical aspect he is into your legs, there is something sexy and cute about it. The flesh, how soft it is, how they feel around his hand or against his cheeks. He is one of those leg’s simp you know ? Every aspect of your legs is attractive to him no matters if you are self-conscious about something, he loves them, deeply and won’t be afraid to put some sense into you each time you’ll say something bad about them. I’m not kidding you’ll be scolded because « your legs can hear you and they’ll feel sad » then proceeds to kiss them to reassure it that they are beautiful.

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

I won’t lie he’s not in the top 3 of the best to deal with a panic attack or anything that involve him taking care of you. People might think it’s because he is being selfish as usual and wants all the attention to himself (well he kinda wants it but that’s not the real reason). To be honest he isn’t good in dealing is own insecurity, which could be seen with the way he is acting like a dick. He is not a natural dick, he is always doing it to reassure himself you know ? Like you can’t hurt me if I hurt you first. So yeah since he isn’t capable of controlling his own feelings, he is going to have a hard time dealing with your negative thought. He might even start panicking if he saw to get a huge crisis. After talking with some of his superior and his comrades from the survey corps he’ll learn one or two tricks to help you getting good and finding your breath. After some times, Floch will learn how to calm you whenever you’ll feel the need, he will also become a good reader meaning he’ll know each time you’re not feeling good. Depend on what you need to feel happy, he won’t hesitate to talk shit about his companion if it makes you laugh. It’ll take a long time but Floch would work harder to help you because he cares about you.

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

Mostly dominant, Floch isn’t the one to talk about his feelings or the one to follow something. I’m not saying that he got trust issues but he went through a lot and his way to cope with everything : his trauma, his fear, his nightmares, his dark thought are to be in control. He needs to be one in charge all the time. It gave him the (fake) sensation of being strong. Now he is not a dictator, if something is bothering you just tell him, I might add that he expects you to say whenever something is bothering you because he can be oblivious. In bed he might be inclined to be a switch and let you have your way with him, when it came to a relationship he kinda needs to feel like he leads, again you don’t really feel like you’re being leaded by someone it’s just the way he talks or his posture that might betray the fact that he is the dominant one. These feelings got stronger after he joined the yeagarist, since he was « close » to Eren most of them believe that he was in charge of everything with Eren so it didn’t help his need of being the leader.

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

After a couple of weeks of a relationship, most of people noticed that Floch was more inclined to talk « gently » with them or at least act like he cares about their opinion. People who were close to him also underline that he tends to not be all cocky and instead was getting more and more serious. As if your relationship helped him to grow up as a man you know ? He was more aware of his environment, of his companion, his surrounding. If Erwin gives him the goal of being a good leader, you on the other around help him to be a better human in the sense that he’ll stop being mean. Well let’s be honest. It would be a hard work cause it became a part of his personality but you’re here now. As mentioned earlier, you’re kinda a light for him even more you’re like his arch, his moral guide, your job as his significant other is to tell him when he went beyond the boundaries of someone nonetheless since his attitude is something deeply written in his personality it’s a work for life.

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

I’d like to say that he is not jealous at all but let’s be honest he is. Now it’s not something bad where he’ll send someone to follow you and beat up each people that share the same breath as you. But, he is kinda possessive around you and even thought he is trusting you. He can’t help but feels some dark instinct each time someone is trying to get your attention. You were supposed to be attentive to him and only him, why would you give your attention to some deep shit ? He just loves you so much you know ? Also, he is kinda aware that people talked about his back like they’re underlined the fact that you are so nice, so beautiful like you’re way out of his league. They didn’t understand what got you around Floch, to them he wasn’t that interesting and was a huge dick they pity you which bothered him. As I said before, Floch knows that he is being a dick a lot of times and well he became a little bit (a lot) insecure about your relationship and can’t help but be afraid that one day you’ll wake up and leave him for someone better than him. Someone that would provide you the love you deserve because yeah he strongly believed that he is the selfish one in the relationship which is pretty true but he is not bad for you, and has his way to show you that he loves you. You know him, and were aware that if you’re feeling like he is being an ass to you, you can tell him. So yeah maybe he’ll be clingier when you’ll face someone that Floch believe is better than him, maybe he’ll kiss you in front of them to remind them that you belong to him, maybe he’ll be mean to them but he does that because he loves you.

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

He is the part of those one who kiss you like it would be their last time. Maybe it’s because he is a part of the survey corps, maybe it’s because of his nightmares or his trauma but each time Floch kiss you it’s passionate, he kisses you deeply holds both of your cheeks or put a hand on your hair the other on your waist to keep you firmly against you. He might even push you against a wall so his body could be full against you, yeah he does it everytime and each time it felt like it would be your last kiss that you’ll share together. Even though he always came back to you, he can’t help but always hold you close as if you might disappear if he doesn’t do it. He is into French kiss even during your first kiss exchange he hasn’t hesitated and put his tongue against yours to taste you because he craves for it, he craves for you. You’re like a drug to him he is addicted to you.

Your first kiss didn’t feel like one, let me explain. You were dating for two weeks and much to your surprise each time you two went on a date he never tried to kiss you even thought it was written on his face that he wanted to do it. But he didn’t because he felt like you should give him the go-ahead, so he waited again and again before you finally gave him the sign he was waiting for. As he was walking you home feeling that today again you wouldn’t exchange a kiss with him except the sweet peck on his cheeks, he was about to leave you when he felt your hand around his wrist holding it. Floch didn’t much, he turned back and without a blink of an eye his lips crashed on yours. His hands naturally found their place on your neck and waist as he was deepened the kiss. It felt as if you two used to be lover because it felt natural and so good to you.

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

I wish that he was a little bit more romantic but he doesn’t so as everything he does, it’s a bit blunt. Like when he met you, instantaneous he felt like attracted to you. So when he felt like everything went smoothly between you two (you’re not trying to yell at him punch his face for being mean for no reason), he asked you to go out with him. It was a date but he didn’t present it like this just in case you saw him as a friend and not a potential lover. Those dates who weren’t a date last a couple of weeks actually, each time Floch was trying something. First he brushes his hands against yours to see if you wouldn’t flinch but seeing that you moved your hands against his give him the ego boost he needed. Then, he started to put a hand on your lower back each time you would enter a shop or anything, next Floch will wrap his arm around your waist. Basically two months later you were acting like a couple without actually saying anything, whenever you got the occasion you brought him foods for his job, you would lean against him as he was putting his arm around you. Everyone was now teasing him because he didn’t have the gut to actually confess to you even though you were acting like his damn significant other.

So one night when you two were watching the stars sharing foods you brought earlier, he just holds your hands like he used to but this time, he also put his hand on your chin to move your face so you would face him. And he will just say it looking at you straight in these eyes while you were still eating your cake. You shouldn’t chuckle but you did because obviously he couldn’t wait for you to actually swallow your cake. He thought that everything was over because you were taking time but then you give him a kiss whispering to him that you felt the same so everything went fine.

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

Most of the time he called you heaven because you’re like heaven for him, he doesn’t call you like that just to tease you it’s also a way of reminding you that you’re helping him so much growing as a man, you’re like his shelter now that he got you by his side he can’t picture a life without you. He tends to call you sweetie or cutie just because your cheeks got warmer and you became flustered.

There’s a particular nickname that he used only when he had to leave for a long mission, those one were he wasn’t sure to be back. During times like those, he called my love he sounds cliché I know but he called you like this each time he got the kiss of your life, both of his would hold your face as he looked at you tenderly. He will remind you that he loves you and will do everything to be back to you because he can’t live without you.

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

He isn’t the romantic one but he isn’t the worst you know ? He is trying okay. It’s just each time he tries something to act romanticly he had to spoil it by being cocky, teasing you until you’re a mess. And when he is trying his best to bring you something, most of the time he forgot it. I can’t even count how many flowers he got spoiled because he forgot to bring it to you. But when it’s really important like your birthday, Floch will work hard to not only bring you as much as gifts as his wallet can but also to provide you the loveliest party as possible (or date if you want it to be more private). I’ll give him 6/10 like he is not the worst but he needs to work a lot on his romantic gesture.

That’s why when he wants something to be smooth, he asked everyone to give him ideas anything that might help him to please you. He mostly asks Armin because he is a genius and always seemed to think about great idea for a date, he kinda became his ally even though he’s still bitter against him ( you know about Erwin’s case).

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

As mentioned earlier, it’ll take him time to understand you, for being able to read your properly. It’s not like he isn’t empathetic but he already struggled with his own insecurity, fear and trauma so obviously he is not the best to deal with emotion, feelings being down and everything. But if Floch feels like it’s burdening you in any way, he’ll work with you cause he can’t do it on his own. He’ll always ask you to tell him when something is wrong, to at least give him a sign when you feel like something isn’t good when you feel sad, when you are depressed. He got a list of each sign you decided to use to help him getting the signal that he has to be on your side.

After a couple of panic attack/emotional crisis, Floch would become one of the best to read you and prevent any form of bad thought. Insecurity ? Gone even though he is calling you a dumbs for thinking that you are not enough you have to admit that it’s working. Fear ? He’ll kill anyone that might put a finger on you. So I’m going to give him a 7/10 he is a good but he needs help coming from you to help you properly.

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

I shouldn’t say it because it was supposed to be a secret, but he stole you cloth. Not to wear it but he is stealing everything that got your scent each time he left for a mission, because he wants to have your smell/warmth with him whenever he is far away from you. It’s silly, it’s cliché and people would make fun of him if they’ll learn about it, but he can’t sleep properly for example if doesn’t have your shirt around him. He might use your t-shirt as a teddy to hold it close to him you know ? He is pretending that you are here with him and that everything is fine. He’ll mostly take your shirt/t-shirt because it’s small and convenient for him to put on his bag. He also got on his wallet a bunch of things that is supposed to remind him of you, like your favorite flower etc. What can I say ? He is a simp.

#request #floch forster #floch forster x reader #floch x reader #aot floch #snk floch #shingeki no kyojin x reader #Shingeki no kyojin #attack on titans x reader #attack on titans #floch headcanon #eren jaeger

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uzuitengensfourthwife · 3 years

Text

Fallen hard (Sanemi x femReader)

Warnings: none its pure fluff, and well my bad writing and grammar lol

Word count: 2410

Authors note: Okay I got to be honest with you guys. I wrote this back in September or October and posted it on Wattpad, I think (Yes I used to be on wattpad cries) But I really like REALLY wanted to share this on tumblr because its cute and sanemi deserves fluff. I really hope you enjoy it. Im already working on part 2 :)

Sanemi’s POV

,You're going this time right?'' Genya looked up at his brother, eyes full of hope that his brother would go to today's parents' evening. Especially now, that he had a new homeroom teacher. His brother, however, really couldn't care less, he maybe went once a year and that's usually the first and last time a teacher would see or talk to him. Still, he had to go today, Genya wanted him to go.

Yet his Brother's answer was bold and harsh. , And why would I?" Yeah, why would he? Genya started to think of a good reason why it was so important for him to attend today, but all he really could think of was his new teacher and that would certainly not be enough of a good reason for his brother to go. Well, he could at least try and give him this as a good reason to go, but in all honesty, he didn't want to get yelled at.

Sanemi however seemed to notice his brother's nervous behavior. , Just spit it out already.'' he demanded in a sharp tone, staring down at Genya. , W-well... we have a new teacher since last month... and don't you think you should show up? J-just to be polite...'' Genya stuttered, trying to avoid his brother's piercing gaze.

Sanemi just scoffed, trying to get away from this pathetic behavior of his brother. He would not join this damn parent's evening, not even if there was a new homeroom teacher. He already went once a year, wasn't this enough? Of course, the school disagreed with this, but goddamn it this was just a waste of time and that's exactly why he only went once a year. No more.

, Aniki, please... I'll do the dishes for the rest of the month!'' Genya tried again, he had to make his brother go and this was the last thing he could think of that might, just might work as bait on his brother.

Surprisingly, it worked. Sanemi then turned around, looking at his brother as he made another offer. , Two months, and I'll go." This was too good to be true. Genya smiled at his brother as he nodded, agreeing to his brother's offer. , Okay, sounds fair." - , Good. When do I have to be there?'' Sanemi asked. , 8 pm.''

Well and this, this was the reason why Sanemi was now waiting in front of the Classroom. Waiting for his brother's teacher to come out and finally talk to him.

Sanemi sighed in annoyance as he thought about how convincing his little brother was. He should've charged him way more than just two goddamn months, he should've charged him at least a whole damn year. If not even more. Even so, he could not return time and now had to deal with this new teacher of Genya. And if he was honest, he did simply not care about this new teacher. He was already thinking of how great he'd feel when he could finally leave when the door of the classroom suddenly opened and a woman, most definitely younger than him, stood there smiling at him.

, Mr. Shinazugawa, please come in." her voice was soft like a feather, kind of soothing as she said his name, kindly inviting him to enter the classroom. He was shocked, he did not expect his brother to have such a teacher, all day he imagined her to be an old hag, but instead of an old hag, a wonderful young woman was standing in front of him.

, I'm Y/N L/N, nice to meet you." She held out her hand as she introduced herself and waited for him to take her hand for a handshake. And so he did. , Sanemi Shinazugawa, pleased to meet you as well." he coughed out, slowly shaking her hand. God, why was he so nervous all of the sudden? It was just his little brother's stupid teacher.

Yeah, what the actual fuck was he even nervous for?

, I'm glad you had the time to come, Genya was afraid that you might not be able to attend." - , Well.." Sanemi started as he looked in her (e/c) orbs, I guess I was able to take some time.''

Her smile only grew bigger, showing him to take a seat in front of the teacher's desk. , And for that, I am very grateful. There's a lot of stuff I want to talk about.'' She sat down in front of him, going through a pile of paper, probably looking for Genya's folder. , So... what did the idiot do?" Sanemi sighed out, already preparing himself to hear what Genya did wrong and what HE had to pay for. But instead of hearing any complaints, Y/N only chuckled, leaving Sanemi dumbfounded as he watched her with confusion. , Oh he didn't do anything bad. No, indeed he's a very good student! Everyone adores him!" But that, Sanemi didn't hear.

As she started to brabble how great of a student his brother was, all he could do was watch her. Examining her soft features. He was fascinated, nearly hypnotized by her beauty. For once, he was thankful that his brother was so convincing. Sanemi might be harsh, however, he was able to acknowledge a beautiful woman when he sees one. And this woman right in front of him, was out of his league, maybe even out of this world. If he had to describe her beauty, he wouldn't be able to find the perfect word. She was just too pretty, too beautiful, too stunning. Probably even an angel, sent from above. And her soothing voice just fit her beauty so well. God, she was perfect, and for the first time in a while, Sanemi had forgotten how to think properly.

,,-and that's why Genya has already gotten so many good reviews from teachers from all subjects. So- Mr. Shinazugawa?" He suddenly heard her calling for him, snapping out of his thoughts.

Oh god, he was so deep in his thoughts that he even had forgotten to listen. He knew the moment he saw her that he has fallen for her, but ....he didn't know he has fallen that hard., Ah... I'm sorry..." he whispered in an apologetic tone, rubbing the back of his neck. The teacher in front of him however just chuckled again waving her hand, as if she was telling him that there was no reason to apologize. , No worries! But well as I was saying, Genya is a really good student and has gotten many good reviews from all kinds of teachers. Not only that... but his grades are pretty good as well. Almost only A's!" She then handed him a pile of all the grades his little brother has gotten so far, he didn't care, but for the sake of her, he took a good look at all the reviews and grades she has handed him.

He hummed in response, once he looked through all of the stuff, giving her back the paper as he answered. , I have to admit, he isn't that bad." She shook her head and scoffed, taking the papers he was holding. , Please, not that bad? God, he is pretty amazing if you ask me!!" The young woman then leaned in closer, frowning as she looked Sanemi in the eyes. , You should be more proud of him. After all, he told me you are his role model. He looks up to you and thinks you are an amazing big brother." Sanemis eyes widened at the statement, as Y/N slowly leaned back, obviously waiting for him to say something.

He then let out a low laugh, once again not sure what he was supposed to say. , That's... surprising.." The young teacher then slowly shook her head. , Well..." she shortly after said looking back up. , Just remember that he adores you a lot... oh and with that being said... You should read through this. This is just one of Genya's amazing essays he has written." the smile was back on her face, easing the tension between the two adults.

She handed him over an essay his little brother wrote, he knew he was supposed to read through it, but oh god he was just so distracted by her. So he just had to pretend he was reading, while in reality he still tried to get over the beauty of this woman in front of him. He wasn't usually the type to show affection towards anyone, nor fall for someone this easily. But she, for some odd reason, got him all riled up.

, So...?" the younger woman nagged, curious about what Sanemi was going to say. , I'm surprised that my brother is actually this good." She nodded, agreeing with him. , He indeed is very good."

Sanemi had to confess, he hated the way she was praising his brother, for basically everything he did. Of course, she was his teacher and was actually supposed to say these things and yet he felt like she shouldn't praise his brother, but him. Yes, she should praise him, however, she probably knew too little to even be able to praise him. Damn, they have only ever met. So where did this sudden jealousy come from? And why only after they have met? It would've made so much more sense if it happened months after they've met, but now? After literally 10 minutes. Stupid, he thought, that was just stupid.

No, he was stupid.

, Is that all?" Sanemi looked at the small figure in front of him, still, inside he was hoping she wouldn't let him go so easily, that she would keep him here a little longer.

, Hmm... let me think.." she went through her bag, that she had now on her lap, looking for things she still had to mention before she would let him go. , Ah yes.. here." she handed him a few brochures of Universities, smiling at him. , You should start talking with him about applying to a few Universities. Probably these in particular. They'd fit him really well.''

Sanemi grasped the brochures and went through them, just then he noticed those were high qualified Universities. Even the one he went to himself, was listed as well, which made him feel some kind of pride.

, I hope you have realized that those Universities are popular amongst qualified students." - , I know," he answered as he pointed at his former University. , After all, mine is listed as well." Her eyes widened in surprise as she took a glance at where his finger was pointing at. , Tohoku University?" She was amazed, he could see that right away. The way she just looked at the brochure and her tiny hand that was placed right in front of her mouth.

, Yes indeed, but I don't see why my little brother-" she shushed him without hesitation, suddenly standing up and looking him in the eye. , Mr. Shinazugawa, your brother is a smart and a very skilled person! You should encourage him to go to Tohaku University as well!" this time she wasn't saying it to just sound nice, no it was the other way around. She said it because she actually meant it. She was dead serious about this. , Why... just why do you think he is that great?"

She slowly sat down again, a small smile forming on her lips. , Because he's just as great as his bigger brother." Sanemi was shocked, no not shocked but rather.. surprised, yet, she didn't hesitate to add more to this statement of hers. , Now that I've met you, I can totally see the resemblance. He's just like you and I totally see why he has chosen you as his role model."

He was once again astonished. , Has- has he said that?'' She nods, as she watched him. , Yes he did. He has mentioned you a few times. Fact is, he looks up to you, so I've guessed you must be an amazing brother.''

Part of him was embarrassed and wanted to disappear right away, the other part however was full of pride, thanking his brother for talking so highly about him in front of his teacher. The teacher that left him speechless.

So, sanemi smiled a little, looking away und scratching his neck as he did so. , Guess my brother wants to be a Mathematics major as well, huh.'' She hummed in response as she put away his little brother's folder. , Well... I guess we have talked about everything. Is there anything you want to add, or mention?'' Sanemi started to search for something, but obviously, there was nothing he could think about. She had probably mentioned everything she wanted to talk about and he, well he didn't want to attend the parent's evening, to begin with. So, he sighed and shook his head.

There was nothing, and with that disappointment came. He didn't want to go yet, but he couldn't just possibly stay here and talk to her any longer, let alone ask her out. That would probably seem to be very rude. But little did he know, that she just felt the same.

The sudden silence that lingered between him and her, made both of them nervous and uncomfortable.

, Then... I guess there is no reason for me to hold you back any longer.'' she was the first one to break the silence, and oh god he most definitely didn't want to hear these words. And yet, he played it off cool, getting up and marching towards the door. But before he could even reach the door, she suddenly spoke again, stuttering at the beginning. , M-Mr. Shinazugawa?''

Sanemi turned around, glancing at her. He then realized that she seemed... somewhat nervous. But why?

, I know... this is probably inappropriate to ask... but... would you mind joining me for coffee once..?'' Without even thinking, he answered, I would love to.'' and with that, he smiled at her as he exited the room and leaving the young woman perplexed.

Strolling through the building, he realized that there was a stupid little smile plastered across his face. Oh these feelings, so exotic and wild. He was not used to them, but somewhat liked the thrilling feeling.

Falling for someone wasn't even that bad.

#kny #kny x reader #kny sanemi #shinaguzawa sanemi #demon slayer #sanemi x y/n #sanemi x reader #giyuu #fluff #kny fluff

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yourmidnightlover · 3 years

Text

i would never leave you

Summary- when reader gets injured on a case, spencer stays with her to take care of her, even if he already had plans.

TW: talk about case, undercover!fem!reader, kissing, a little cursing, reader gets stabbed

WC- 4,998

masterlist

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the team was so close to catching the unsub. all they needed you to do was go undercover, act interested in him, and catch him in the act.

so there you were getting ready in the bathroom at the bau. the girls had chosen a flowy strapless black dress that went below your knee, some black pumps, and a gold necklace for you to wear.

you threw the dress on, admiring the amount of tasteful cleavage it displayed, followed by the shoes and necklace.

you applied some red lipstick and added some more mascara before you ran your fingers through the waves in your hair, trying to give it a bit more volume before greeting the team.

you had been insecure in the past, a result of some standard high school bullies, but you had gotten through it with the help of your parents. they re-educated you on what confidence meant and where it came from.

you had only gotten insecure every once in a while, normally when all the attention was on you.

so when you entered the conference room with your clothes in hand and all eyes were on you, you felt yourself close up from the stares.

"umm... too much?" you questioned, grabbing the blazer you were wearing and throwing it on over your shoulders.

you noticed spencer looking at you with his brows raised, not saying anything but with his mouth slightly agape as he looked at morgan, who was also entranced by your new appearance, and back at you.

"no, y/n," jj consoled. "you look great, sweetie," she said as she ran her hands up and down your arms comfortingly before stepping back after taking your clothes, and blazer, from you.

"y/n..." morgan trailed on, "who knew you were hiding that underneath those pantsuits, mama," he smirked.

"oh, don't mama me, derek," you chastised, pointing a finger accusingly at him as he raised his hands at his head in defense.

"you truly look fabulous, y/n. and derek will stop with the comments as of right now," penny scolded him while giving you a smile.

"thank you pen," you said with a grin. "so when can we get this over with? this dress isn't exactly very comfortable," you asked, looking over at hotch for further direction.

"right. so i need everyone to listen to this part because we are all responsible for keeping y/n safe if things go awry," hotch demanded as you all made your way to your seats.

"the unsub will lure you out of the art gallery. there weren't any traces of drugs, so he won't try to routine you. you need to go willingly, that's part of what gets him off. we'll have someone in there with you and keeping an eye on you from a distance," he directed you, to which you nodded your head.

"he's going to most likely take you to his car, it will be a nice one, expensive. he's going to drive you somewhere more secluded, but still in the open and then will attack," hotch clarified, his eyes now scanning across everyone in the room.

"so when you leave the gallery we will follow behind and garcia will be tracking your phone the entire time," he ordered, now looking at garcia.

"we will do the takedown at whatever park he takes you," he made sure you were looking directly at him. "you can back out if you aren't up for it, y/n. just say the word."

"don't be ridiculous, this is the best way to catch him," you assured, shaking your head no. "just don't let me die and i'll be good," you laughed.

"i was just making sure," he grinned. "we should get going now. it's almost time for the gallery to open and he's really punctual," hotch said as he stood up.

you stood up and pulled your dress down a bit since it began to ride up as you were sitting. when you turned around you saw spencer looking at you with a similar expression as earlier.

"y-you look beautiful, y/n," spencer said softly, walking around the table to get closer to you.

"oh, umm. thank you," you smiled kindly at the shaggy haired man.

truth be told, you had a bit of a crush on him for a while now.

his adorably perfect smile, the way he gets so excited when he begins to ramble on about something, his harmonious laugh, his voice as he reads you a book on the plane so you can fall asleep easier, wishing the monsters that pry at your mind away.

okay so maybe it wasn't just a bit of a crush.

you really, really, really liked him.

you would say love, but you've never truly experienced true love. you had nothing to compare this feeling to.

"no problem," he continued to look at you. not in the way derek was looking at you. he was truly looking at you. he saw you. "just... please be careful out there," he bit his lip from the nerves of you being in line of danger.

"i will be. i always am. you know that, spence," you furrowed your brow in confusion from his sudden concern.

"i-i know. it's just that... you've never been undercover with a serial killer before and i j-just don't want you to get hurt," he stuttered.

"you're worried about me?" he nodded.

you placed your hand on his bicep and gently squeezed before pulling him into a hug.

"it's sweet that you're worried. i promise i'll be careful," you whispered in his ear before pulling back, squeezing his arms one more time and walking past him.

spencer watched as you walked out, still feeling beyond anxious as you were literally walking towards danger with each step you took.

he began to think about all the possible outcomes of the night, everything that could go wrong and lead to you getting hurt... or worse.

he walked out of the room once he collected his thoughts, and pushed them aside. he couldn't be distracted right now. he had to make sure you would be safe and okay.

he always wanted you to be okay. he wanted you to have everything you've ever wanted it. in his mind, that's the least you deserved for being... you.

you made sure everyone else was okay after a rough case. you always gave them a hug when they needed one. you let everyone vent to you when they were having a rough time. you let him finish his rants and never told him that 'nobody cares' or rudely change the subject.

you even went to watch movies with him when others would refuse - even though he knew you did that out of pity, he couldn't help but feel special. you would always offer your presence in place of the others. he eventually just started asking you after a while, to which you would happily agree.

but you never asked for anything in return. ever. you were obviously beginning to get stressed from having to manage everyone else's problems atop your own.

he wanted to help you with that. he wants to be the person you talk to about rough things. he wants to be the shoulder your tears can fall on. he wants to be there for you. he wants to be with you.

walking out of the room hotch told him he would be the person undercover inside with morgan, keeping an eye on you as you openly flirted with a hot serial killer.

great.

you slid into the passenger seat of the car after putting a mic on somewhere he wouldn't notice a few minutes before you were joined by spencer and morgan, morgan of course being the driver.

"so, pretty girl, pretty boy and i are gonna be your watchdogs for the night," morgan informed you.

"so hotch, jj, emily, and rossi are in charge of the cars?" you wanted affirmation.

"yup. they're gonna be right outside all night until you leave. when you do, we're going back to this car to follow you as well," spencer finalized, admiring the way your skin was glowing with the street lights beaming down through the windshield.

"right. sounds good to me," you assured them, trying to mask the way the nerves were eating at you.

"hey," morgan reached over and placed a hand on your thigh comfortingly. "we're not gonna let anything happen to you."

"i know," you took a deep breath. "just a little nervous."

"that's to be expected. you're putting your life at risk for the betterment of others, y/n," spencer gushed. "that's extremely admirable of you."

"thank you, spence," you turned around, placed a hand on his knee, and lightly squeezed.

the rest of the drive to the gallery was quiet and comfortable. you managed to get out of your own head and focus on what was about to go down.

you went into the gallery a couple minutes after it opened, wanting the unsub to watch you entering. the guys followed behind you after about 5 minutes.

you clocked the unsub after being in there a few minutes, and began walking over to greet him.

you stood beside him as he was admiring a painting of 'infinity mirror room fireflies on water' by yayoi kusama. he turned to face you with a smirk on his face.

"it's beautiful, isn't it?" you asked, nudging his arm gently as he continued to search your appearance.

"indeed it is," he said, still eyeing your body. you mentally gagged, but externally you giggled, bringing a hand up to your chin to bring attention to your lips.

"this particular painting is supposedly one of her most popular pieces. this one, followed by 'narcissus garden'," you informed him, to which he raised his eyebrows in approval.

"wow. you must know your art, huh?" he asked, you nodded. "smart... i like that," he said as he reached up to move your hair behind your ear. "i'm michael."

"y/n."

spencer was watching the whole time. he couldn't help but wish it was him you were giggling at. he wished he was the one pushing a strand of hair behind your ear.

you were imagining it was him.

"how about we get out of here?" he asked, bringing his hand to cup your face softly. "i know a nice, quiet place we can go."

if it were anyone else, and if you didn't know what he really meant by a 'nice, quiet place," you might've thought it was a sweet sentiment. but he was a literal serial killer.

"yea?" you bit your lip softly. "that sounds great," you agreed before he took your arm in the crook of his, leading you outside.

you turned your head to make sure spencer and morgan were aware of what was happening. they nodded their head as they watched him escort you through the doors.

he had the valley pick up his car and open the door for you.

"such a gentleman," you nodded at him as he gave you a straight-toothed smile.

spencer and morgan ran to the car as they saw you hop in his with him. they were the first ones lined up behind you and michael.

the ride with him was quiet and eerie, probably because you knew what his true intentions were.

meanwhile, spencer and morgan were anticipating your arrival at some undisclosed location. in an attempt to ease their nerves, they tried to talk about another subject.

"sooo... y/n looked nice tonight, huh?" morgan probed.

"i-i'm not discussing this with you!" spencer shouted.

"alright, alright," he took a deep breath, trying to think about what else to talk about. "so are you looking forward to this weekend?" he asked.

"actually, yea. i've been looking. forward to it for weeks now!" spencer shouted, excited this time. "jane goodall doesn't lecture very often, and the fact that he's doing it so close and i somehow managed to get a ticket is astonishing," he gushed.

"wow, you're really excited about this," morgan stated the obvious, to which spencer nodded eagerly.

"i am," he said before noticing michael pulling into a parking lot. "there! turn right there!" spencer pointed as morgan began to take the turn.

michael escorted you out of the car, walking hand in hand. he lead to you a bench, and you knew that was where he was planning his attack. you felt your heartbeat pick up as he reached into his coat pocket and pulled something out.

spencer and morgan ran up to where you two were sitting right before he revealed that he was holding a knife.

"FBI! MICHAEL DAVID PUT YOUR HANDS UP!" morgan demanded, his and spencer's guns raised.

"michael, y/n is not your ex wife. she isn't her," spencer attempted to talk him down.

"i don't care! she needs to die! savannah needs to pay!" michael yelled in frustration as he took you underneath his arm, pressing the knife into the side of your torso.

"let. her. go," spencer demanded.

"NO!!" michael squeezed tighter. "she has to SUFFER!!" he said as he jabbed the knife deep in your side and removed it.

morgan ran over to arrest michael as spencer ran to your side as you began to fall to the ground, calling medics as he caught you in his arms right before you hit the ground.

"hey, hey," spencer calmed you as he moved a piece of hair from your face. "stay with me."

"i-i'm okay," you consoled spencer, holding your hand over his that rested on your face. "he-he took the knife out. apply pr-pressure," you instructed.

"r-right. of course," he said as he moved one of his hands to press on the incision, a wince coming from you as he did so. "i'm s-sorry."

"don't worry ab-about it. ahh!" you groaned as you heard sirens approaching.

"shhh, shhh. i'm here. it's okay. i'm not leaving you," he told you as you moved your free hand to cup his face.

"promise?" you asked meekly.

"i promise. i would never leave you," he said as he leaned into your touch.

they loaded you into the back of the ambulance, to which spencer hopped in with you. he held your hand the entire way to the hospital, only releasing it when they needed to perform cpr after you bled out too much.

they had to give you stitches because of the stabbing, but no major organs were punctured in the process. they made you aware of the trouble you would have when walking or standing for a certain amount of time. they kept you overnight for one day and released you for the weekend.

hotch had given everyone their mandatory two weeks off because of the spur of back to back cases you had gotten and asked anderson to drive you home.

you had never been one to ask for help, and spencer knew that. if anyone truly payed any attention, they would realize that as well.

he knew that you wouldn't want to bother anyone's time off with having to help you through an injury.

he also felt guilty for your injury in the first place.

if he had been able to talk the unsub down then you wouldn't have been hurt. it was his fault you were in pain, and hiding your pain nonetheless.

spencer had also been waiting to hear jane goodall's lecture for so long now... and there was no telling if she would ever lecture again.

you were struggling. far more than you'd want to admit. you could barely get up to get yourself a glass of water, let alone stand in the shower for long enough.

you had learned to lean against the wall for the majority of the time in the shower, and rinsing off as quickly as you could. luckily you put a bar along the wall, you had installed it while sitting down on the floor.

you could barely manage to change into any clothes. you hadn't been wearing a bra since the accident because you just couldn't turn your body at all in order to put one on.

you had finally come to the conclusion you really didn't want to admit.

you needed help.

you had become so desperate and helpless that you had to call someone.

but who should you call?

jj was with will and her kids, morgan with savannah, hotch with jack, penny with kevin, rossi with joy, and you didn't know what spencer was doing.

maybe you could call him?

you dialed his number as you winced from trying to change the bandage on your side.

"spencer reid here," he answered cheerily, already feeling happy from receiving a call from you.

"hey, spence," you answered, already feeling guilty for having to ask so much from him. "wh-what are you doing right now? did you have any plans?" you asked with a shaky, guilt ridden voice.

spencer thought about what this question meant. you wanted to know what he was doing so he could help you. you couldn't go out right now because of your stabbing, so you obviously needed help.

he felt partially guilty for not offering you his help in the first place, but you both knew that you would refuse it the first time he would've offered anyway.

so what, jane goodall was lecturing for possibly the last time ever right near him and he had tickets? you needed help. and you wanted him to help. you wanted him.

"nope. no plans," he lied, much to your relief.

"i need - would you - can..." you took a deep breath, trying to figure out the right words. "i'm sorry to have to ask but... i need help, spence. w-would you mind coming over?" you asked in a reserved manner.

spencer felt his heart swell at the thought of you needing his help. it made him feel wanted, and needed. for such an independent, strong woman to need him he felt as though it was more him that needed to check up on you.

"i wouldn't mind at all," he replied with an apparent grin.

"oh my gosh, you're a life saver. could you stay the weekend? i just... i just really need the help," you admitted with a chuckle to hide the disappointment.

"yea. sure. i can stay the weekend," he agreed happily. "i'll be there in 15 minutes."

he grabbed his go bag and ran to the nearest convenient store to grab some of your favorite snacks.

you popped a pain killer in your mouth in an attempt to ease the pain a bit more while spencer was with you.

he used his spare key to get inside and set the bag of goodies on your living room table.

"y/n?" spencer called out in an attempt to find you.

"hey, spence," you said as you peeked out of the bathroom after putting the painkillers back into your cabinet.

you wobbled out of the bathroom, clutching your side as you took each step. spencer felt horrible watching you in pain while doing something as simple as walking.

"hi. how're you feeling? wait, that's kind of a stupid question considering..." he rolled his eyes at his response as he met you about as soon as you stepped out of the restroom and wrapped your free arm around his shoulder so he could help you finish the trek to your living room.

"i'm feeling better than i was yesterday, which i would definitely consider a success," you feigned a smile.

he knew you were probably dulling down how bad you felt by trying to shed some light on whatever you could. you've always tried to avoid pity as much as you could, reasonably so. he just wished you would be straight forward with him.

"y/n, i know you're trying to downsizing how bad you feel by diverting my attention to something more positive. how are you feeling now," spencer corrected his question as he helped you ease onto the couch.

"shitty. i feel shitty," you said, looking down at your hands and paying around with them. "i just feel bad for dragging you away from your vacation. we rarely get time off, and the one time we do i take up your time. it just doesn't seem fair for you," you explained as spencer sat down beside you.

"you aren't a burden, y/n," spencer consoled as he placed a hand on your lower thigh. "i'm glad you called me to help you. i'm glad that i'm spending my vacation time with you. don't ever think that it isn't fair for me, because i truly enjoy spending time with you. okay?"

you took a deep breath, trying to take in the environment around you. placing your hand atop his, you interlaced your fingers and bent your head down to lean onto his shoulder.

"thank you, spencer," you sighed deeply. "for everything."

"it's no problem at all," he replied as he placed a kiss on the top of your head, leaning his cheek down to rest on your head. "oh! i brought you your favorite snacks!" he exclaimed.

you lifted your head off his shoulder as he jumped up to retrieve the bag of goodies. he sat back down and began unboxing the snacks in an amusing manner.

"ohh, just you wait until i show you the last one!" he said as he pulled out your favorite chips on the coffee table.

he then followed by revealing your favorite drinks, favorite spicy snack, and finally, after a long drumroll, he revealed your favorite candy.

"spencer walter reid, i think i'm in love," you said as you placed a kiss on his cheek.

you didn't realize what you'd said or done until the time had passed. you bit your lip softly after removing your lips from his cheek, noticing the smile and blush growing on his face.

he wanted that kiss to be a couple inches to the left, right in the center of his face, right on his lips. he wanted you to mean it when you told him you were in love with him.

and you wanted that too.

"i knew i was doing good," he smirked.

that comment made his gut twist in a way it hasn't in a long time. he didn't know if you meant what you had said, he's never been good at social ques. but even then, the way you blushed and bit your lip as if you had revealed something told him something different.

"hmm, now that's downsizing it," you countered, a laugh erupting from both yours and spencer's chest. "how about we dig in? i haven't eaten much since the hospital since it's kinda hard to get around."

"how could i refuse?" spencer quipped as he reached for the chips, opening them and placing one in his mouth and offering the bag to you.

you and him sat on the couch and talked for a while. he mentioned the theories of relativity and how einstein even developed it. you were engrossed by his rants and monologues, mesmerized by his tone and voice.

the way his throat would get raspy the longer he had been talking, not even that would stop him from getting his message across. he's always been a determined guy, something you've found attractive in him. he's not really one to give up. he's quite resilient, and makes for really good conversation as well.

you both had even decided to watch a movie. he convinced you to finally watch star trek with him, mostly because you had never seen it and he looked so damn cute trying to convince you to go on that journey with him.

spencer didn't feel like he was even missing out on the lecture when he was with you. in fact, he didn't even remember he had wanted to go. he was too entranced by you to notice.

the hours that went by felt like it went by far too quickly. by the time you looked at the clock, it was half past 11 pm., which also meant it was time for you to take your meds again and change your bandage.

"okay..." you sighed. "it's doctor time now," you grimaced at the thought of having to get up again.

"right!" he stood up from the couch and bent down to help you. "let's get you up," he said as he wrapped your arm around his shoulder and his underneath your armpit, wanting to avoid the incision.

you were able to smell his aroma, the warmth his scent provided to you, the comfort it ensued, the distraction it so graciously offered from the pain that wreaked havoc on your mind. it transported you to a place where you were too preoccupied by the smell of coffee and burnt vanilla to notice the pain even if it was just for a few minutes.

he helped you sit on your bathroom counter as he got your meds and the bandages you guided him to retrieve.

"so can i-or you- or just.. we need to remove your shirt," he stuttered out, already feeling nervous at the thought of seeing what was underneath your shirt.

you were silently thanking yourself for putting on a good bra today as you subtlety leaned back and lifted your arms up for him to remove your shirt.

his eyes tried their best to avoid looking at your chest. although he definitely wished he could, he knew it wasn't right because of how you were inured right now. instead, he opted to look at the injury, trying to assess the stages of healing.

"okay, the stitches look good, although they do look rather irritated," he said as he gently ran his hands around the cut.

his touch brought shivers to your body, and he noticed the goosebumps from your body betraying you.

"so... i just need to not wear a shirt for the next few days?" you asked with your brows raised. "or are you just trying to see me walk around topless for a while?" you laughed enthusiastically, wincing as your muscles contracted round the stabbing.

"hey, hey, hey..." spencer said grabbing your face to help you concentrate on something else. "i'm gonna put the medication on the wound now, so we should talk about something to distract you now. any recommendations?" he said as he grabbed the ointment the doctor prescribed.

"so, what were your plans for the break? anything special?" you asked as he dabbed some of the medication on.

you ended up squirming slightly as he continued to apply it. spencer noticed your discomfort quickly, so he offered you his hand to hold and squeeze as you felt the pain.

"umm actually there was one thing, but i don't think that'll work out anymore," he admitted as he felt your hand squeeze gently.

"wh-what was that? your plans?" you asked softly.

"jane goodall was lecturing," he said, only revealing enough to not make you feel so guilty.

"jane goodall doesn't lecture very often. i'm pretty sure that was today, right? it was downtown DC," you clarified, brows furrowing in the process.

of course you would know that. you liked goodall, too. he knew that look on your face and he should've known better than to say anything at all.

"yea. it was today," he smiled as he thought of the day he spent with you instead of a famous scientist.

you squeezed his hand harder and leaned back with your eyes wide at the revelation, mouth parted slightly.

"spencer, you didn't," you sad solemnly, sighing as the guilt flooded through you.

"don't worry about it. i wanted to help you," he said, lifting your head up by your chin to look him in the eyes.

"she rarely lectures anymore. that was probably her last one, spence. you missed it because of me," you said with an eyeroll, upset that he would do something so reckless. "for a genius you're kinda stupid."

love makes you stupid, spencer thought to himself.

"i would rather make sure you're okay and well taken care of than see her work," he tried to convince you as you shook your head in defiance.

"since when did you think that doing that would be the right choice, spence? why did you do that?" you pushed his shoulder back gently as you furrowed your brows slightly in confusion.

"y/n..." he trailed off, feeling the nerves eating at him as you raised your eyebrows in question. "i-i um... iminlovewithyou," he spurted out.

"what?" you asked him, not understanding what he said.

"i... am... in love..." he took a deep breath, avoiding eye contact, "with you."

this time you grabbed him by his face and pulled him into yours, your lips colliding. he was tense at first, not realizing what was going on, but very soon relaxed at your touch.

he placed his hand on the side of your face as he brought the other to the back of your head, deepening the kiss. you wrapped one of your hands into his hair, playing with his beautiful locks as you continued the kiss.

after a few more seconds, you both pulled back from one another for a breath.

"i love you too, spencer," you said with a smile.

"let's finish putting this medication on, then we can talk about that some more," he said as he placed the bandage on your wound gently, not wanting to further hurt you.

"so... that's why you missed that lecture, huh?" you questioned with a smirk.

"well," he replied, "that and i promised you i would never leave you. even if there is a famous scientist lecturing right near us."

@averyhotchner @greenprisca @muffin-cup

#spencer reid #spence #spencer #spencer x reader #spencer walter reid #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid fanfiction

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lilsuzn · 3 years

Text

MLQC Gavin - Fluff abc headcanons

So by the popular demand - I am back.

Just kidding. No one was asking.

Fandom: Mr. Love: Queen's Choice

Warnings: None (the reader is gender neutral)

Dedication: @marytheredqueen

A = Admiration (what do they absolutely adore about you?)

You need to trust me when I tell you that Gavin had indeed tried to find at least one thing he could dislike about you. Many times.

Yet your body seems to have no flaws. He checked quite a few times at this point.

Your heart is pure. Loving. Patient. Loyal.

Whenever you’re at his side… The world is at peace. No pain exists, nor does suffering.

You are his purpose. You are his equilibrium. Nothing matters as long as he can be by your side.

B = Body (what is their favorite part of your body?)

Your beautiful eyes.

There will never be anything more beautiful than the way they shine before your lips meet in a loving kiss.

C = Cuddling (how do they like to cuddle?)

Him on his back.

You in his arms. Laying on top of him.

Your head rests on his chest, no matter if it’s your front, side or back that presses against his muscular torso - it’s perfect.

He also likes the smell of your shampoo… it’s just intoxicating for him.

D = Dates (what does their ideal date with you look like?)

He likes doing things outside with you.

Attending festivals, engaging in new, interesting sports, indulging in some street food or picnics.

He’s a sucker for long, romantic walks too, soooooo

He takes you out to the festival. Buys all kinds of yummy food for both of you to share. Wins you an enormous plushie and then carries it around for you. While holding your hand. Tightly.

Then takes you for a night stroll, to then kiss you under the sky full of stars before you turn back.

E = Emotions (how do they express emotion around you?)

He only feels like he can really express himself around you - so it will get intense. In all the best ways.

Gavin doesn’t shy away with showing you his affection, even if he tends to have a slight problem with voicing it sometimes.

His expression softness, his fingers brush delicate circles on your skin.

He doesn’t need to say anything. You know.

F = Family (do they want one? If they do, when?)

Oh he really, really wants a family.

Two kids… or maybe more.

A dog for them, maybe.

House with a big garden and a treehouse.

He wants to play and fool around with his kids. Put them to bed. Support them. Be proud of them… Everything his father never did.

G = Gifts (how do they feel about gift giving? What are their habits when it comes to this?)

When you want something, no matter how silly it might be - it’s yours.

Don’t even make me start on what you need.

Because there are very little things (and all of them are about you) that could make him happier than seeing you happy because of what he gave you.

H = Holding Hands (when/how do they like to hold hands?)

It's not optional.

There will be hands holding whenever it's possible.

It’s as much for your safety as it is for his comfort.

All these guys with eyes better don’t use them to stare at you.

See this hand? This beautiful gem of a person is with ME.

Likes to hold your hand while snuggling on a couch. Or in bed while falling asleep.

Holding hands is like a physical projection of the bond that’s between the two of you - and he loves it.

I = Injury (how would they act if you got hurt?)

He would blame himself. No matter what. It might be ridiculous, but he would always feel guilty for not preventing it from happening.

Wouldn’t leave your side. Would help you with anything and everything.

If there’s a concrete person or a group of people that caused your harm... Insert a very, very angry and strong bird cop with a gun.

J = Jokes (do they like to joke around with or prank you? how?)

You would have a light-hearted relationship in which he would tease you from time to time and he wouldn’t be mad if you did the same to him.

However he’s not one to prank you. He would find no enjoyment in it.

K = Kisses (how do they like to kiss you?)

Gavin loves to be kissed and he loves to kiss. All over your face. All over your body.

Any kisses are game. Slow and passionate ones. Heated ones. Sweet, delicate, loving, appreciating - he loves them all as long as he can share them with you.

L = Love (how do they show you they love you?)

Acts of service - He looooves to spoil his lovely sweetheart (you) this way. Wants to bring you food, tidy up your apartment for you, brush your hair, paint your nails… Just ask him and he will do it. Whatever it is. And then he will do things on his own initiative, because he likes to surprise you. You smile so beautifully when he does…...

Gifts - He likes gift giving as I already mentioned in G, but it’s no indication of love to him. He just enjoys your reactions. Prefers to show his love differently.

Physical touch - His number one and you can not convince me it is not. He’s a snuggly bear who loves kisses. You are just so soft and warm and he loves you sosososososo much. Would never want to hold this way any other. His physical affection is something reserved only for you.

Quality time - see Q.

Words of affirmation - Gavin is not very good with words. Not that he can’t be when he wants to, but he kinda doesn’t want to most of the time. It’s uncomfortable. He’s feeling unconfident doing so. He prefers other ways, but when he does speak up… It’s the most adorable and loving thing you will ever hear in your life.

M = Memory (favorite memory together?)

It was your first 'real' date, but even though you both confessed love to each other, you weren't a ‘official’ couple yet.

At least there was no proper act of becoming a one.

You walk through the park on an evening of a chilly fall. Not many people in sight.

You just finished a lovely dinner date. Gavin even bought you a dessert to share.

And it just felt right. Everything.

The way your fingers were laced. How you both couldn't spot peeping at each other.

"Will you be my girlfriend Y/N? Please?"

He sure was pretty sure you wouldn't deny him, but he didn't expect you to throw your arms around his neck and kiss him the way you did.

"Nothing could ever make me happier than that, Gavin."

N = Nightmare (what is their worst fear?)

He’s scared of losing you.

Either by you walking away from him after discovering that you “deserve so much better”

Or by not being alert enough to protect you…

Surely, he would prefer the first option, but he can’t deny that both would hit him harder than anything else ever could.

O = Oddity (what is one quirk they have?)

Gavin is a little bit of an odd duck in general, but I think he has one major weirdness about him.

I would call it… A Keanu Reeves complex.

He doesn’t like compliments. Always feels like they’re far from true, because he always feels like he’s not enough and maybe even never will be.

Which is so far from true.

Like, Vivi, come on! You’re so freakin perfect!

P = Pet Names (what do they like to call you?)

He usually calls you simply by your name, but the boy has his moments.

Moments when he can help but call you all sorts of the cutest names.

Little angel, starry eyes, little munchkin along with the classics like honey, babe, sweetheart, treasure and my precious.

Q = Quality Time (how do they like to spend time with you?)

How?

Often.

Intensely.

Calmly.

Comfortably.

Restlessly.

He just wants to be by your side. Any. Chance. He. Gets.

R = Rhythm (what song reminds you of them?)

Moonlight by Ariana Grande

Because Gavin’s sweet like candy, but he’s such a man...

Or A Drop In The Ocean by Ron Pope

S = Secrets (how open are they with you?)

Not at all. At least at first.

He gets better with time, but you still need to ask for it. He would never just come to you to lean on your shoulder and tell you what troubles him.

T = Time (how long did it take you to get together?)

Well. A lot.

Because of what I say in X below.

He just assumes that you don’t reciprocate his feelings, because he doesn’t deserve it.

He eventually tells you about his feelings under your insistent questions regarding the subject.

And then? After he finally tells you?

That’s when it escalates quickly.

U = Upset (how do they act when you’re upset?)

At first he tries to keep it inside. Not let you see… But it’s pretty obvious since he doesn’t talk to you. Barely throws any acknowledgment your way.

It would take quite some convincing for him to tell you what’s wrong.

Unless it’s jealousy that is a reason behind his anger. Then he will show you just how upset he is…

Not necessary in a bad way, tho...

V = Vaunt (what are they proud of? Do they like to show you off?)

He’s very proud of you. Always.

Even when you think you’re a failure, he still recognizes how hard you work and how smart you are.

And he also prides himself for earning love of a woman as wonderful as you.

But he’s not a show off. He doesn’t like to be in a center of attention. He doesn’t care for compliments or recognition.

He knows how wonderful you are and that’s all that matters to him.

W = Warrior (how do they feel about you fighting? Would they fight for you, beside you, etc?)

Well, it goes without saying.

Yes. Obviously.

This is Gavin. He does it actively throughout the whole story like it’s the only thing he knows.

X = X-Ray (how well are they able to read you?)

He’s not an expert in emotions.

He gave MC a blood stained letter and was surprised she was troubled by that.

Okay, let’s not sugar coat it - he’s not good at it at all. I said it.

I’m sorry. I wish it was different for you Vivi.

Y = Yes (how would they propose to you?)

I think in Gavin’s case it would be no kneeling with a ring type of thing, because he personally sees no value of that.

Of course, he would if you told him that that’s what you want, but if you don’t…

It would be a beautiful, summer evening. The both of you watching a beautiful sunset from the rooftop of a high building.

Last months you spent together were absolutely wonderful. Life with you by his side was much happier than Gavin could ever dream of… And the way the golden sunlight graces your skin is so, so beautiful.

It wasn’t the first time the thought crossed the bird cop’s mind. He caught himself thinking about it more and more often as your relationship progressed… And before he knew it, the words left his lips.

At first you were sure you must have misheard, so you asked him to repeat. And he did.

His beautiful eyes glimmered with so much love… just as much as you felt for him.

How could you say no to that gorgeous man that adores you so much?

And after that, expect to someday come back home to find the most beautiful and meaningful ring in the world waiting for you to wear it.

Z = Zen (what makes them feel calm?)

Gavin is a man who enjoys simple things in life.

He likes to cozy up with you on a couch on his birthday.

Watch a sunrise and drink cocoa with you on Christmas.

He obviously enjoys various sports, especially if he can enjoy them with you.

But what really, really makes him perfectly calm? Driving Sparky with your hands around his ways and your chest pressed against his back.

The feeling of freedom mixed the warmth of your closeness… how could anyone ask for more?

#mlqc #mr love queen's choice #mlqc fluff #mlqc gavin #mlqc headcanon #mlqc hc #mlqc gavin bai

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oveliagirlhaditright · 3 years

Text

...Not that we at all care about what J*oss Whedon thinks, because he’s a creep.

But it’s kind of funny (ehh, that might not be the right word for it), that for years, people have been battling each other to the death over what the “Right Ship” in his “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” was: Buffy/Angel or Buffy/Spike.

But at least to begin with... he absolutely did not want either of those. The vampires in Buffy are supposed to be a metaphor for the challenges an adolescent faces growing up, so they were all supposed to be absolutely evil and none were supposed to stick around (I think he also worried that messing with this idea could make Buffy seem like a murderer, which he definitely didn’t want).

I think he wanted Buffy and Xander to end up together That you can still maybe see tiny remnants of. Especially in the season eight comics... And I like Xander. I really do. But I am so glad this didn’t happen. One, because Xander is a J*oss Whedon self-insert, so it sort of would have been creepy. And two, because somehow and some way, pretty much every girl in the Buffyverse but Buffy ends up having a thing for Xander at some point, despite him really not being anything special (I say that with love. Him being the ordinary guy is his thing). So Buffy finally falling in love with him would have just been too much.

But I think it was David Greenwalt who talked him into doing stuff with Angel. So they came up with the idea of the Bangel romance--that was supposed to end ultimately tragically, with Buffy having to kill Angel to save the world and him never coming back--and that Angel was the only vampire in the world who had a soul, and that he’d been cursed with it: so that he would have to feel guilty about all the horrible things he’d done without a soul.

Spike, who comes along in season two, was not supposed to last. He’s sort of set up as that season’s Big Bad, but it actually becomes Angelus (evil Angel who has lost his soul). And originally, Spike was supposed to get killed somewhere during the season, and Spike’s girlfriend Drusilla--who Angelus had some history with--were supposed to start banging to really break Buffy’s heart.

But James Marsters was so darn likable as Spike. And apparently this enraged J*oss Whedon. It’s actually horrible. He was really abusive towards James Marsters (who plays Spike), and he didn’t deserve it at all. He already didn’t really want Angel... but he didn’t want to have to be forced to have to keep Spike because of how popular he was. Apparently he like pushed James up against a wall and was like, “I don’t care how popular you are! You’re dead, you hear me?! Dead!” And James held his hands up and responded, “Okay, I mean, the ball’s in your court, man.” What a man, James Marsters is. Damn. I probably wouldn’t have been so cool about this.

But Spike did not die in season two. I don’t know why they didn’t decide to kill him, after all. But they didn’t.

In the TV Guide Buffy and Angel interviews for the TV Guide interviews, I think, James Marsters talks about how after Cordelia was moved from Buffy to Angel, he was brought on the show to be the “You’re all stupid, and we’re going to die” character. You’d think that this would have been Anya, but I guess not entirely. Or maybe they hadn’t figured that out yet. And this was usually accompanied with him running into Giles’ house in broad daylight with a blanket draped over him, so he wouldn’t burst into flames... but I guess the writers hated doing that? So James Marsters thought that he was probably about to be fired here, and thanked David Boreanaz here for what he did with Angel here, because he thought it opened up the door for him and Spike, and that he thought they wouldn’t have thought to do it, otherwise.

But I think it was at this point that J*oss decided that he was going to make S*pike fall in love with Buffy, too. But unlike Angel, he didn’t have a soul, so it would be toxic... (Edit: I forgot to mention that it was also because Buffy was going to learn that there was a darkness to the Slayer’s power and thus a darkness to her, and Spike was supposed to help her explore that. Because J*oss thought she had gotten too powerful, so now there had to be a sort of consequence and danger to that power). Except that the audience could see nothing but James’ charm, and could not see that it was toxic, which led to them writing the scene in “Seeing Red”, where Spike tries to r*ape Buffy... which, thankfully, once he gets his bearings, he is immediately shameful and horrified by, and he yeets himself out of there to go get a soul, because he knows he needs one. Not that that makes it perfect, but still. Thankfully they’re a lot better in season seven. And in the comics. And there was some good even with all the toxicity, but a lot of bad, too, because Spike’s feelings are all twisted in not having a soul.

I think in having to write Bangel and Spuffy, though, J*oss is really proud of him and did do his best with them. He says that he honestly can’t choose between the two of them, and is torn right down the middle. Which might be why, even though the comics had seemed to choose Spuffy, they seemed to cancel that at the last minute and leaved it undecided it again. And leaved Buffy single, but on terms with both boys and still loving both of them. Though I do think J*oss has said a few times that he maybe slightly prefers Spuffy, if for no other reason than Angel baffles him some, and he finds him a slightly harder character to write for. And this is why all the season finales of Angel really strip him down, to try and figure out who he is and what’s ticking underneath him.

But, anyway... I just think it’s kind of funny that the world is always fighting over Bangel versus Spuffy, and--at least originally--Joss would have been like, “Neither! Please, God, no!”

#buffy the vampire slayer #long post #Joss Whedon mentions #Joss Whedon tw #rape tw

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amalia2003sstuff · 4 years

Text

A very uncommon name

This is the first prompt of Soulmate September . @tsshipmonth2020

Prompt: “Your soulmate’s name is written on your wrist/palm”

Human, High School AU

Pairings: Romantic Prinxiety, Familial Creativitwins, Platonic Dukexiety, Background Romantic Demus

Warning: Kissing, Self deprecating, Bit of swearing (F word)

‘Virgil ’

That was the name written in purple on Roman’s wrist for all his life. A very uncommon name if you were to ask him. ‘Why?’ you may ask, well it’s because Roman never met a person with that name yet, and trust him, he tried.

All his life, since he could remember, he tried finding someone with that name, to no use. He always tried to learn the name of every person he met, which was not that hard, considering he lived in a small town, but none of them were named Virgil.

By the time he and his brother got to high school, he kind of gave up on finding his soulmate, but Remus didn’t.

That’s how he ended up in this situation, with Remus gushing about his soulmate, whose name was Janus, that he met while at a football match at the high school of the neighbouring city. By this point Roman zoned out.

“- and we went to a small diner to get some food, and then Janus’ cousin from England called, his name is Virgil, and he said-”

That got Roman’s attention “Wait, wait, wait. Did you say Virgil? As in ‘the name of my soulmate’ Virgil?”

“Uh yeah, it’s the same name, but I didn’t ask about his soulmate. I didn’t want to be too invasive. Anyway, Janus’ cousin said that he is moving to America. And guess what? He and his family are moving in our town”

“No way! I can ask him then. When is he coming?”

“I think in a few weeks, I’m not sure. I didn’t ask for details, I was busy with - ”

“Do not finish that sentence" Roman said in a threatening way.

----

A few weeks passed, and Roman finally heard the kids in school talking about the new kid, which was a big thing.

Roman’s new mission, find the new kid, which turned out to not be as hard as he thought. Virgil was in Roman’s math class, and just as luck had it, the only spot left in class was to be Roman’s desk mate.

During the class, Roman kept glancing at Virgil’s wrists. He thought he wasn’t noticed, until Virgil had enough and finaly snapped at Roman in a hushed tone.

“What do you want?”

“I was just - I - I just wanted to see something” Roman stuttered

“And what might that be?” Virgil was now glaring at Roman

“Well-”

“Boys! You two can finish that discussion when class is over. Pay attention!” The teacher snapped

They turned back to their work.

When the bell rang, Roman grabbed Virgil’s arm, before he could leave the class “Please come with me. I have to tell you something”

“Will you leave me alone after that?”

“If that’s what you want, then yes” Roman dragged him out of the classroom, to one that was completely empty.

“I think you’re my soulmate” Roman rushed out without waiting a single moment.

“Uh... look mate, you seem like a nice guy, but you’re not my soulmate”

“Just let me see your wrist” Roman huffed.

“Fine” Virgil pulled up his sleeve.

“Ha! I knew it!” Roman cheered.

“You’re my soulmate... What the heck, universe?!”

“Not the reaction I was hoping for...”

“Look, Roman,” Virgil sighed “you seem like a nice person, but you are not my type. This is a mistake”

“The universe doesn’t make mistakes, Virgil, at least give me a chance. We could get to know eachother, and if you still don’t want me to be your soulmate, I will leave you alone."

"Promise?" Virgil asked skeptically.

"I promise. Just give me one chance. Just a few weeks" Roman pleaded.

"Fine. You have two weeks. Don't make me regret it" And with that Virgil grabbed his things and left the classroom.

----

For the next two weeks, Roman would keep leaving gifts for Virgil, and if Virgil smiled and blushed the tiniest bits every time, it was his problem, and his problem alone. It's not like he kept all of them on the dresser in his room, without letting anyone touch them. No. Of course not.

In addition to the gifts, Roman would also throw in random rounds of twenty questions at lunch "To get to know eachother better" he would always say, and Virgil couldn't help but play along. It was ado- annoying in a fun way, if you were to ask him.

Right now, Virgil managed to get a break from Roman, and hang out with his cousin and his soulmate, who also happened to be Roman's brother.

"So" Janus started "How are things going with Roman?"

"As good as they can go. He keeps trying to make me like him, but..." Virgil trailed off.

"But?" Remus asked.

"But what if I'm not good enough for him. He's a nice person. He doesn't deserve to be stuck with someone like me for the rest of his life" He brought his knees up to his chest "He's kind and funny, and talented, and - and cute, and I'm... me"

"You're a fucking idiot" Remus said "Roman has been gushing about you since he even knew you were coming here - it's making me sick to be honest - and you think he wouldn't want to be with you?"

"Remus is right - surprisingly - you should really give this relationship a chance. I'm sure you won't regret this."

"I hope... Because I kind of have a date with him tonight" Virgil mumbled.

"Then tell him. Now come on" Janus pulled him off the bed "It's already 5pm. Go take a shower and me and Remus will pick an outfit for you that doesn't look like you just came from a funeral" He pushed Virgil into the bathroom without leaving room for argument.

----

Half an hour later Virgil peaked his head out of the bathroom, only for Janus to push an outfit into his arms and push him back inside.

"J, Remus, I don't think this outfit is a good idea" He shouted through the door after taking one look at the outfit.

"Just try it on. Trust us, you will look hot as hell" Remus shouted back.

Virgil resigned himself to his faith and put the outfit on, then walked out of the bathroom. He was dressed in black ripped jeans, with a purple crop top and a leather jacket on top of it. A pair of black combat boots was waiting for him by his bed.

"Good. Now sit" Janus instructed, pointing to a chair.

Virgil sat down and Janus started working on his makeup, while Remus worked on his hair.

They both pulled away from Virgil and high fived, right as the door bell rang.

"Well looks like your future boyfriend is here." Remus said "Have fun making out."

"We won't do that Remus" Virgil pulled his boots on, then Janus pushed him out of the room.

Virgil walked to the front door, took a few deep breaths, then opened it. "Hi..."

"Hey, Virgil. Are you ready to go?" Roman asked. He was wearing jeans, with a red button up shirt and red shoes.

"Yeah, but where are we going?" V asked.

"That's a surprise. Now come on." Roman gently took Virgil's hand and brought him to his car, opening the passanger door for him, before going and getting into the driver's seat.

----

Five minutes of driving later, they were pulling into the parking lot of the park.

Roman got out of the car and hurried to open the door for Virgil, then went and got something out of the trunk.

"A picnic?" V asked.

"Uh... Yeah. I know you don't like crowded spaces, so I thought this would be a good first date...Do you not like it?" Roman asked, sounding a bit unsure.

"It's perfect." Virgil smiled "Thank you."

"Oh ok. Come on. I know the perfect spot." Roman took Virgil's hand again and took him to the top of a hill, where they could see the sunset. He let go of Virgil's hand then layed out everything he brought.

----

After they ate a bit and making a bit of small talk, they were just sitting and watching the sunset.

Virgil was biting his lip anxiously, which Roman noticed.

"Is everything ok?" He asked "Is it the picnic? Was it too much?"

"I was just thinking." Virgil answer without looking at Roman.

"About?" Roman asked.

Virgil thought for a few seconds, then, before he could chicken out, turned and kissed Roman, which Roman returned after a few seconds.

When they pulled away, Roman was smiling "Well not the answer I was expecting, but I'm not mad that this happened. Does this mean you don't hate me anymore?"

"Hate you? Princey I never hated you. I just thought... I thought that I wasn't good enough for you. You're the perfect popular guy and I'm just the emo."

"Virgil, you're not just the emo. Not to me. These two weeks I got to know you, and you're more that your looks. You're snarky and sassy and funny and just so adorable. I really can't even put into words how cute you are. I- I love you, and I want to be your boyfriend, only if you want this too."

Virgil giggled "Are you kidding me? Of course I want to be your boyfriend!"

Roman smiled and kissed him again.

----

He may have gotten home and started ranting about the date to Remus, but that's entirely his problem. He was just happy he finally found his soulmate.

#remus sanders #roman sanders #virgil sanders #sanders sides #romantic prinxiety #platonic dukexiety #familial creativitwins #kissing cw #tsshipmonth2020 #deceit sanders #janus sanders #self deprecation #swearing cw #soulmate september

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themanicgalaxy · 3 years

Text

SPN 7X4 Defending Your Life

I'm making an exception today, because I've figured out QUITE a bit about my own stress response

oh right the monster Dean killed

also to recap: my period has every sign of starting(including cramps) but nothing, I've been horribly nauseous all day, I feel a hunger response when I'm DEFINITELY not hungry(stress eating and it's the only thing that makes the nausea subside) and headache(altho that could be the lack of sleep). Also emotions all over the place(Crying, happy, very on the hat etc)

and the WORST part is I can NEVER tell until I have physical reactions. I can NEVER TELL WHAT MY EMOTIONS ARE WHAT DOES THAT MEAN I THOUGHT I WAS PERFECTLY OK OR NOT FEELING ANYTHING

ooo chase scene

gHOST CAR

ooo good segway into intro

that cut coping mechanism does NOT seem like it's healthy

mONSTER OF THE WEEK

oh COME ON HERE's THE LYING

the visuals are cool

"license to kill"

no come on sam that was a good one.

"dead and sober, dead and crappy" no Dean, please, you need to figure that out

ah yes tortured soul

FL OW ER SH O P

that was suspicious

it's just because she's dead and dead at 10

the CAr

"makes you wonder if the guy who was drunk ran her over" *drinks beer*

O H H H H H HSIDOFAHPAS

GHOST RIDER

at least I know they're nerds, whoever wrote this

is it manifesting their guilty conscience

aw but the dog is so fluffy

*lies down, bounces back up again* lmaooo

Dean is Tired

didn't they DEAL With a ghost car?

it's people that kept going?

DEAN IS RUNNING ON SO MUCH EMPTY AHAHAHA

A H CUZ HE DIDN'T SLEEP BECAUSE THE GIRL HE KILLED

that took me as second

"If I ate apples" DEAN

also they're really doing license plate shots above how Cool the Impala is shots now, lil thing

"you won't even believe me" ahaha

...courtroom?

fUCKING NEAL'S TAVERNNNN

we kind of specialize in crazy ahaaha

"except that's complete crap"

"everyone judges all day long"

He just..takes punishment?

ahahah N O P E GREY AREA

no this is way more watchable

SA M SOUNDS SO TIRED AHAHA

*whispers* "stay put"

he DOES look good though

ok fine just gonna tune out the flirting

they ARE both pretty

is it that guy

the creepy guy in the shadows

how much is in scotch I have no idea

ah the red, what people were clawing

THAT'S NOT HOW OSIRIS WORKS but fine ok let's go

THAT'S NOT

ok fine

"it hones in on people who feel guilty, N OW WHO DOES THAT SOUND LIKE TO YOU" oh boy literally both of them got it that was hilarious

this does seem like he's talking himself into a role

the salt...might not work for osiris

shit she really is pretty

AH RED SAND ok ok yeah I see it ok

a h egyptian shit

ALL YOU NOTICED WERE THE SYMBOLS LMAOOO

THAT DOOR SLIDE WAS SO FUNNY

He's cool though, I like the pagan shit

"Sam, you're not a lawyer" "yes I was pre law" "pre"

"good one" "I saw that on the good wife"

THIS IS HILARIOUS

J O

oh no

the mining itself sucks but this concept is good

took his breathing away?

It reads a bit as excusing them for everything

She backs them up at least?

I miss her

see here's the thing, it kinda reads like they're out of ideas, but like...it's a good concept

ah so the stuff at the beginning was them showing their guilt

I like how he just says "them's the breaks"

yeah like Dean is ever gonna believe he's innocent

"dog food" oh they so desperately wanna say dog shit

"they want to be judged" echoes Dean

SAM IS TALKING COMPLETELY OUT OF HIS ASS

HE'S GETTING HIM OUT OF HIS GUILT COMPLEX OH THANK GOD FINALLY

"that it just...blows"

no one, including Dean, ever questions it, so the grief stews

he does actually have some way with words

Dean please tell the truth

mate I get the impulse but still

dammit

ahaha Temporary but Long Temporary

"make sure it's a sharp piece" lmaoo

man I miss Jo

ah here we go

sam: u h

JOOOO

"you deserve better" on both ends

Dean Eldest Daughter Syndrome

"hunters are never kids, I never was"

he does Internalize things

that's why we kin

90% crap

"i get rid of that what then" "you really wanna die not knowing" HOLY SHIT

HOLYSHIT OH MY GOD OH MYGOD

ah the gas stove

"he's making me do this" oH NO

"just kind of faded...maybe a little bit happier"

hell was Sam's slate? huh

"I kind of feel good, Dean" I am glad he's happy, I don't know if I agree with the message

1. SAMMM. Dean was acting off the shits, so he had to step up and exasperatedly handle everything, and piece stuff together. Like mans is actually quite smart and quite resourceful when he has to be, and it's nice seeing that. It's also fun FINALLY seeing him lighthearted again, even if I don't like how.

2. Dean's guilt complex. Man internalizes a lot of things, and while they BARELY make sense(thin veneer, easily cracked) he hides it enough so that no one asks(and he represses so he certainly doesn't), and he can continue feeling guilty. Now here's the thing. He feels guilty, Sam doesn't, the middle ground is where they should be(taking responsibility) and they like...never do it.

3. monster of the week. No but having monsters switch to grey instead of black and white, and having Dean comment on it is SO good, because he's like...that Masculine Parody/Ideal depending on who's writing him, and like he was written to be the hero. any gray was always overridden by that. But with kripke gone, they start actually doing grey, and there's nothing simple anymore. Like I like with how off the shits it got, they still kept the theme of "it's more grey now" but like kinda for real(where Dean and Osiris said the same thing). ALSO, I think it would be useful as a scale back. I know they'll not do it because EVEN BIGGER DBZ LAZER is fun, but I think having more monsters of the week by choice and not "oh god we have runtime" would be really good, because that's where this storyline SHINES! it's got a lot of characters, a lot of lore, and a lot of issues to pick through, a monster of the week is WAY more effective than a longer story, and would help the scaling back issue.

4. pontificating about the season/why it's easier to watch. Like is this season as good/vibey? probably not really, but honestly I can actually stand watching it. Like it's very cringe in places but also, it doesn't hurt me or make me feel uncomfortable as kripke stuff does. It matches the vibe of "after work/school show" perfectly for what it is.

5. the vibes/Osiris. I like the idea of osiris and going to the bars, and the courtroom and the RED! SAND!! I got that one. But I'd also like to say that Dean saying the SAME thing that osiris said was like...he's not villainized, but I think they're trying to make him slowly grow as a character. It's like sympathy/he sucks kinda/we like him for him a sa character and I think that was really neat.

also barkeep lady pretty holy hell

6. it felt a little bit like excusing tho. Like if Sam is the good one, then it felt like excusing them of the harm they cause people. I want them to change their behavior! not beat themselves up over it or think it's fine cuz he went to hell because of it!

I'm so glad Sam is happy again but N O

7. J O. the "no autonomy, he's making me do this," the being able to see through things(and no longer hungering for something that she doesn't really know) (like...she wants SOMETHING, has it crawling under her skin but doesn't know what, and that's gone when she's dead) and that whole thing where she asked Dean if he wanted to die as a persona. Oh my god.

8. Dean persona. Yeah the whole thing where he had to convince himself to be a womanizer, the "I"m 90% crap line" OH MY GODD THAT HIT. That man is also a persona. maybe a commentary on american masculinity in general, maybe not. Also, eldest daughter syndrome, he internalizes everything and everything is his responsibility("I didn't get a childhood")

I feel like you can also make an argument how trauma makes you the extreme of something(uncaring for smol sam, internalizing for Eldest Dean), and it breaks your ability to do what you need to(empathetically do your fucking job and not be pieces of shit).

I see why this show was so popular amongst mentally ill people(myself included) holy christ

#pawswatchesspn #7X4 Defending Your Life #tbh once I realized that Dean was tired because he'd gone out and secretly killed someone #I knew that someone was actually paying attention behind the scenes #I can't wait to watch this one again holy FIUCK IT WAS GOOD #I feel much better #also I have found out that Adam Glass's later episodes were Not Great #but based on the Dean they're going for now #This makes sense in context and while I don't like the message there are parts of this episode I really like #some of those fucking lines GOT me

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vampiresuns · 3 years

Text

Corazón Sufriente, Corazón Sangrante

3.5k words. The Crews of The Jagged Ruby and El Corazón Sangrante spend the night in Hinode. However, Captain Syd and the crew of Inuwashi cross the waters of the Strait before they even set sail the next morning, rattling the beings that inhabit it. Having no option but to sail as soon as they can, they are forced to face the storm waiting for them in the water.

The crew of The Jagged Ruby, El Corazón Sangrante, and Inuwashi belong to @apprenticealec. You can also check her map and lore about the Strait of Sirens here.

This is the second and last instalment of Part VI of Secrets of An Ancient Moon Series.

Want to read more of these series? You can find it’s masterpost here.

CW: Brief mentions of unhealthy family dynamics.

Rodrigo was something completely different from Jacqui. An entire different type of fish — an analogy he had hated. Not that him hating it was about to stop Jules from using it.

They had known him for less than a day, yet they had already argued about at least five different topics. All of them unprompted. They had argued about slang, about whether their shared mother tongue was actually called Alzor or Nopali; Jules said both were acceptable, Rodrigo wasn’t so convinced. They had also begun bickering because Rodrigo, finding them again after docking in Hinode, tried to make for their ‘interrupted’ introduction earlier that morning, only to be met with Jules laughing through their nose and telling him he was shorter than Saoirse. They did not expect to touch a nerve, but they did.

Then it was some random thing neither of them knew how they ended up talking about, Jules ‘hoarding’ Jacqui, and finally because Jules had had the gall to make an assessment out of Rodrigo and be right about it.

“You too, huh?” Jacqui asked him. “What did they tell you?”

Rodrigo grumbled something about ‘hearts’, and ‘choices’, and people like ‘us’. “Anyway, I told them there could be an ‘us’ if they wanted to, grabbed their face and the next thing I knew fucking Saoirse was standing right behind me, like what the fuck.”

Jacqui laughed. Rodrigo looked at him as if he had just told him the worst of insults.

“You know they do that because they think it’s funny, right?”

“Shut up, Jacqui.”

Rodrigo’s Quartermaster looked over his Captain’s shoulder, snorting at the same time as Saoirse said: “Hi, Rodrigo,” making him jump from his chair.

None of those wouldn’t be the last of Julianus’ offences against Rodrigo that night. The crown jewel of them all would come when they asked him and Jacqui for how long they had been together. While Jacqui clammed up, Rodrigo answered ‘20 years’ like it was nothing. However, when Jacqui tried to tell him Julianus didn’t mean as Captain-and-Quartermaster, he laughed, and left.

“So it’s not like—? Oh.” Saoirse laughed softly, and kissed their temple.

In hindsight Jules should’ve anticipated Rodrigo coming back to steal their drink, since they “weren’t going to finish it.”

In any other circumstances, Jules would’ve rolled their eyes, yelled something smart back at whomever took their drink, and carried on. That drink, however, had pisco mixed with a soft drink. It was a popular mix in Altazor, but slightly harder to find in other places — mostly due to the lack of pisco— and, it was Rodrigo who had taken it.

“Hey! That’s mine!”

Rodrigo began walking away faster.

This would be one of those moments which Julianus would never forget. The blur of faces as they chased Rodrigo in the tavern part of the Inn, Manolo’s and Manuela’s concerned faces. Walking over someone’s table after climbing on a chair without thinking too much about it. Or rather, without overthinking about it. There were no what-abouts, no ifs, no what-will-whoever-thinks. Just them, trying to calculate their odds as they tackled Rodrigo into the ground. He yelled something about his coat getting dirty, Jules told him he shouldn’t have stolen his drink.

Neither of them were putting on a real fight, though at the same time they were. Rodrigo fought better, but Jules was more slippery and had, per Saoirse’s own confirmation and now for everyone to witness, an unexpectedly strong thigh-lock.

Meredith was yelling insults at Rodrigo and cheering on Julianus, with either ‘you go, Sanlaurento’, or ‘that’s my legal bastard’. J. C. would not register it until hours later, and while they suspected it was solely because they were fighting Rodrigo and had tackled him to the ground, it still brought a smile to their face.

Looking at them as they fought, Saoirse and Jacqui stood together. Jacqui refused to get involved, claiming this wouldn’t have happened if Rodrigo had not stolen their drink.

“You know those fights between siblings which start to get too serious?” He asked Saoirse.

“No, not really.”

“Well, this is a little like those.”

After a moment or two, he spoke again. “So, this is ‘your Julie’.”

Saoirse’s smile was the brightest Jacqui had ever seen in them. “Sometimes I think I will anticipate their thought process. Sometimes I do. Others…,” there it was again, the smile, “I have no idea.”

The fight ended when Saoirse got Jules another drink, and helped them get off from Rodrigo who was yelling at them not to get his face, while Jules yelled at him that he got theirs first. They were both perfectly alright, despite their dramatics, but in the morning Julianus’ forehead would develop a small bruise right where their hairline began, Rodrigo having accidentally elbowed them. It was, for once, a legitimate accidental blow.

Later, Saoirse would say that Jules had a very thick head, as they held ice to their forehead just in case. Jules was sharing a bedroom with Theo, and while the ship’s medic would’ve been able to do just the same, Saoirse wanted to do it. They, on the other hand, had to sleep in the same room as Meredith, to keep the Queen safe.

Theo had offered to change places with Saoirse, swearing ‘most ardently’ that he would never let anything happen to Meredith. Saoirse, bound by the code by their own choice, declined.

When the two of them were alone, Saoirse having left to their own bedroom, Theo gave Jules a sympathetic look.

“You look melancholic, my dear friend. Empty bed blues?”

“No, not really. I do know how it goes, and besides, it’s their job. You don’t see Saoirse complaining about my law books, do you?”

“So what is it? If you wish to talk about it,” he said as he sat on Jules’ bed, “I am happy to be your faithful confidant.”

“Thank you, Theodore. Do you promise not to think it’s stupid?”

Theodore crossed his heart, then put his open palm above it and raised his other hand. “Cross my heart and hope to die.”

Jules was silent for so long, gathering their thoughts, that the doctor thought they’d never speak. However, they did, turning to them with such vulnerability in their face that Theodore, poetic and candid as he was, almost gasped.

“I’m not used to being in a place where I want to find out what happens tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after. It’s like my mind decided to have this moment, out of all possible moments to realise I am not going anywhere.”

“Anywhere how? Oh, Meredith wouldn’t turn you away!”

“No, not like that. Anywhere as in here, in this world. That this is my life and I get to live it, for many more years than I ever thought I’d get to live.”

Theodore hugged them. Jules didn’t expect the gesture tensing for a fraction of a second before fully leaning into it. Theo was hugging them with both his arms, but he was doing it around their side, not in front of them, which made returning the hug a little awkward. Jules still did their best.

“I’m so very glad we are friends.”

Jules smiled. “So am I, Theo. You deserve good things.”

“So do you.”

“Just take the compliment.”

“Pot and kettle! You take the compliment!”

They bickered some more, like old friends who have known each other for their whole lives, until Theo sent them to bed on Doctor’s orders.

They would both sleep happy, soundly. Julianus would dream of sweet nothings and their feet would stay warm all night with the weight of Marcius over them. Yet that wouldn’t last until the morning. Everyone slept in a little later than they did at Sea, only to be woken up with alarm from members of both crews announcing Inuwashi had crossed the waters of the Strait.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

They could’ve waited a couple days to pass, but the fear of not making it to Ethari on time was worse — Jules had no idea until then, but due to a couple of reasons beyond anyone’s control (namely the weather and some routes alterations) they were behind schedule and could not afford any more delays. It meant they’d head to risk going through the waters with its very, very angry sirens.

This time, no crew song appeased them. The message was clear: anything or anyone they got their hands on would not see the surface again.

On the distant horizon, Julianus could see the outline of a ship. It looked tiny in the distance and by the way Meredith cursed in it’s direction, they assumed it must be Inuwashi. Meredith cursed again — it had begun to drizzle, and it looked like a storm was beginning to brew.

Saoirse, for once, looked concerned. “Jacqui says Rodrigo exhausted his illusion magic, they’re too uncontrollable for him to properly cast anything on them.”

To make matters worse, a ripple went through the water. With a violent halt, both of the ships stopped moving.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck! If I could kill Syd, I fucking would!” Meredith yelled.

“I know,” was Saoirse’s serious reply. “But I don’t think that was Syd.”

“You’re seriously going to tell me that wasn’t Gharial or however the fuck they’re called?”

“No, it was, but Syd is not stupid enough to endanger you right before a Quinquennial Meeting without a loophole, and Gharial just likes getting Syd into trouble.”

“It doesn’t fucking change anything.”

It was chaos as everyone snapped into action to make the ships move again. The sooner they were all out of the Strait the better and by the turn of events it was going to be a long, tiring task.

“Alright!” Meredith yelled, raising their voice so everyone listened to her. “Keep everyone from the railings and if you can move with a lifeline, do it. I want all of them secured! I will only say this once: if anyone falls, we will not be able to retrieve them so anyone with a range weapon — do whatever idiot that falls a favour if they do.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

What nothing told you about life or death experiences was how absolutely absurd they were. There were no big revelations, no reel of your life going before your eyes, no philosophical moments where the ulterior meaning of life was revealed to you. It was just you, and whomever else was with you in that moment, running around as survival instincts kicked in. As they did, the realisation that you might as well die came to you, and instead of thinking about everything you did not get to do, or everything you could’ve done differently, all you did was noticing really stupid details, about really stupid shit.

Julianus didn’t need to wait to have another experience with death to know whomever said otherwise was fucking lying.

Instead of thinking about anything that would’ve risen up to the dourness of the hour, they were thinking about their art teacher from Altazor, the one they had when they were in primary school and they had taken an art extracurricular. When they were around ten, they went through a phase where they only wanted to paint the sea. Their teacher had shown them a Neviv painter who painted ships and stormy seas, and Julianus had decided they only wanted to paint the sea from then on.

The sky looked like the paints of that painter. Julianus couldn’t even remember the name of the painter.

They had stopped taking the extracurricular not long after that. Part of an ongoing issue they had associated with lack of confidence in their sense of self, and their struggle to keep habits. The former had to do with having been indirectly punished for their openness of self, which left them more vulnerable to other people’s opinions. A vulnerability they were never given proper tools to deal with. When they tried to find who they were in front of the world, too many factors had convinced them for years that who they were was inherently wrong. From mean peers to their own parents, or the expectations of their family, and no matter what image they projected, it all weighted them down.

The other had to do with a long time undiagnosed hyperactivity and focus divergency. No one believed them about it until they took the matters in their own hands, because how could someone ‘as smart as them’ have it. It simply had to be laziness, or something other. They had been over this already, about how too many people had opinions on who Julianus Sanlaurento had to be, or was, without actually bothering to check who they actually were, or even given the chance.

The other extracurricular that succumbed to all of that was magic. However, they had taken it up again in their last years of schooling before university, as they had in free hours they were left alone to their own devices. That halt in their studies had made them more knowledgeable in the history of it and the relationships different cultures had with it, than to the practice itself. It was one of the reasons why the Sea Palace had had no interest in them, besides the fact they thought (both Jules and the Scholars) they did not have any particularly differential ability in it.

They never stopped practising it after that, even if they never mentioned to anyone, unless they were forced to. They had taken it up under a mentor again in Firent, where they took it as a university extracurricular with a magician who was adept to energy manipulation — electricity in particular. Jules had taken to it like fish to the water, even if, once again, they ended up using it for little.

She always said plasma and electricity weren’t harder to manipulate than other types of matter. People tended to be more afraid to do it, because it required the magician to make themselves a receptor of that energy, and for a series of reasons, people did not seem comfortable with malleable matter that may or may not zap you.

Somewhere to their right, Drew hissed.

“Are you alright, darling?” Elizabeth asked.

“Yes, I just grabbed my knife and I got a static shock.”

Jules snapped out of their trace. “Swords work as conductors of electricity, right?”

“What?”

“Like, you can catch electricity with a sword, can you not?”

Drew and Elizabeth looked at them with concern. Also, like perhaps, they had gone a little crazy.

Theo, however, had their answers. “It’s metal, so in theory it would work. Though not all metals conduct the same way, but that’s the principle of a lightning rod… why do you ask?”

“If I do something that’s potentially really stupid, involves magic, and I technically know how to do but haven’t done it in years and never outside of the context of a classroom, do you promise to not let me fall into the water? I don’t actually want to die.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Julianus was either a genius, insane or terminally stupid. They were about to find out.

Storms had always been their favourite weather and they knew an electric storm had to be in the making. Sounds around them were too clear, humidity was annoyingly oppressive, there were no birds flying, Marcius was hiding under the covers of Saoirse’s bed (Jules double checked he was safe) and it smelled like a storm.

Electric storms came with lightning. With the right magical knowledge, anyone could manipulate them. However, they needed to get to the Beak of the ship, and there was no way Saoirse would let them do that if it put them at the risk of falling into the water. El Corazón Sangrante, however, wasn’t that far away from the Ruby. It was a sensible jump, even by their poor eye-estimation of distance.

All they had to do was try.

From the perspective of anyone else in the crew, this was what happened: Julianus used a rope from the rigging to jump from one ship to the other (a very bad experience, which they would not like to repeat). They told something to Jade, Rodrigo’s sailing master, and for some reason, Jade agreed to it. Perhaps, she was as desperate as everyone else to get out of the strait. Meredith, still on the Ruby yelled-asked who let Sanlaurento do such a thing. Saoirse looked at them with confusion as they ran with the rapier they had gotten for them during a raid in hand; said confusion turned into dread when they realised what part of the ship they were running towards.

The panic they felt when they saw them climb past the forecastle and onto the very narrow surface to stand before the bowsprit began, threatened to dissolve the body they chose to use every day. They ran towards the bow of the Ruby, ready to jump into the water if they needed.

“Julie!” They yelled, trying to make them turn, but it was like they didn’t listen.

A thunder broke behind them as they lifted a leg over the railing. That’s when they saw it. With both arms extended, their sword on the left hand pointing towards the sky, a lightning strike hit Julianus.

Jules condensed it in their free hand as it sizzled and crackled without harming their skin. Angling themselves, they threw it into the water, hitting one of the sirens straight on the chest.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Having to face the Siren songs that close to the water was, perhaps, one of the worst life experiences Jules had ever gone through. It was something about their rabid eyes and the promises they sang of.

They could see them, almost. They could see themselves in it. A model child, a partner, two children and a pet. A stable job. A good relationship with their mother. Esteem and respect from the social circle they had grown in at the expense of nothing. The sirens sang and they went to a different school, they had different tastes, they had more knowledge, a better capacity to concentrate, a different career, they were more athletic. They were immaculately perfect, always pleasing everyone and always knowing the right thing to say. Whomever that abomination the Sirens sang about was, it wasn’t Jules.

They could see why. They could see how they would twist their fear of never being enough, their fear of being utterly mediocre, against them. They could see how they took that away, and left a perfectly sanitised carcass that, in a lower point of their life, they would’ve given into.

The wind played with their hair as they felt one thing, and one thing alone: rage.

Their frown was set as they began feeling static build around them and with steady breaths they stood in posture. They lifted their sword as their angry, teary eyes met with the fishy ones of the sirens in the water. It wasn’t about being stronger than them or more powerful than them. Neither was the case: They were just Jules.

Just Jules. Poetic, hopeful, intelligent, strong-willed, imperfect, full of love and terrified to give it, yet determined to plant the garden of their life no matter how many times it was destroyed. Jules who was full of grief, and full of happiness, and Jules who knew they would never have the life that was promised to them, because that life required of them something they would never be able to be without sacrificing who they truly were.

It was okay. It was okay not to have that life and not to be that person. Whoever they were now was better anyway.

Lightning struck their sword. They knew what to do.

When the Sirens went quiet, numbed by the electric sock, they slid their back against the wood of the ship. Hanging on some rope and their sword for dear life they sat down with their head between their legs.

Saoirse found them moments later, pulling them up and carrying them back to Meredith’s ship in their arms.

“I can walk you know, I’m just a little dizzy.”

Saoirse didn’t put them down. “Were you going to tell me you could manipulate lightning, or was I supposed to find out this way?”

“I didn’t think it was relevant to mention. Did it work?”

They let out a noise of annoyance. “Yes, yes it worked. But if you want to do that again, it’d be better you practised. You could’ve fallen into the sea, you could’ve—”

“But I didn’t. I’m here, Saoirse.”

They shot them a look, but the relief that it worked, and the wonder that their Julie could do such a thing won this time. They kissed the crown of their head. “Don’t scare me like that again.”

“I can’t make any promises.”

“I mean it. Let’s get you some water and something to eat.”

“I’m sorry I scared you, I really am.”

Saoirse sighed. “You’re forgiven. You did great.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Beyond the Strait of Seals, Captain Syd of the Inuwashi looked at the lightning strike back in the waters of the Strait. Hideko stood besides them.

“I didn’t know Saoirse could do that.”

Heron spoke behind her. “Are we sure that’s Saoirse?”

“Well, colour me surprised Cabin Boy, I don’t remember asking your opinion.”

#the arcana #the arcana oc #is it at this point tho?#my writing #secrets of an ancient moon series #jc sanlaurento #saoirse #joirse #meredith #captain rodrigo #jacqui #syd h. jeebies #syd and the jeebies #dani's ocs #saoirse my beloved i'm so sorry i put you through so much stress here

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