Some thoughts on season 19
This is probably going to be one of the most personal things I ever post on social media. But I have some thoughts.
Sarge and Doc died. Doc wasn't even killed on-screen. Was barely even mentioned until the end. He died having only saved two people in his entire career as a medic. Sarge died, and Donut wasn't even there to see it happen.
Was he off grieving Doc? Was he just doing other stuff? I don't know. But he was gone.
Why was he actually gone? Probably for budget reasons. Time constraints. Studio trouble and issues with the engine or model or whatever else. Writing constraints that forced Donut and Doc into such secondary roles. Into dying off screen. Into not even being there when two people you care so much about die.
But like, how much of that was actually in the narrative's control? They had these limitations to write around, and it put these characters in situations where they couldn't be in narratively satisfying roles.
In some ways, it's the most brutal depiction of what life is like.
When I was 14, I lost touch with my best friend. I just didn't keep my phone on me often at the time. He died. I think, if he had lived, he would have gone on to do some absolutely amazing things. He didn't get to. He called me a couple days before it happened. I didn't see it.
Death isn't fair. But it's not the end.
I think, if the story had had more time, these characters could have had better roles. But life isn't always so kind. Death isn't always so kind. We lose people when we're not looking. We blink and people are gone.
Doc, Sarge, Church, and Tex are dead. Wash was in an institution again. Tucker just went through all that. Grif went back to earth.
That's... that's brutal. Why don't I hate it? On paper, I'd hate it.
I think it might be because it doesn't feel like a goodbye, or even the end. There are loose ends. A lot of them. There's so much pain there, so much healing and moving on to be done. Just because Grif went back to earth doesn't mean he and Simmons don't call all the time. Just because Donut wasn't here to maybe save Sarge doesn't mean he won't be there eventually.
Just because Doc only saved two people doesn't mean it didn't matter.
Life is brutal. Death is brutal. Shit happens. Shit that isn't fair. Whether it's people we love dying, or just studio drama fucking a show.
But... that doesn't mean it's the end.
Doesn't mean Simmons is going to be alone, doesn't mean Doc died for nothing, doesn't mean Sarge's sacrifice meant nothing, doesn't mean Wash or Tucker's lives are ruined, or that Caboose can't have a new best friend.
I like to imagine Donut taking up medical studies after this. Doc saved him. He's going to make damn sure that matters. Maybe Blood Gulch becomes something of a boot camp for some future loser rejects in need of a home that Simmons can guide.
Church, in all his forms, may be gone. But that doesn't mean they're going to be so quick to forget. Leave the past in the past. But still look back from time-to-time. It got you where you were.
Sometimes we pass memories down through stories. Sometimes, just in the choices we make throughout our lives.
But just... unfair things happened. To the show, and to the characters in it. To the people running it. My best friend died when he was 14. Monty Oum died in his prime. Life is tragic. But hey, it's not the end. It's just the start of something new.
Maybe it isn't perfect. Maybe it isn't ideal. Maybe it hurts. Maybe it'll never stop hurting. But it can still be beautiful. it still has meaning.
It may just be a silly show about Halo dudes, but it matters.
Tl;dr: Raven is stupidly sentimental right now
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the vees are so funny because you know val would say some aphobic shit like "what do you MEAN someone can form meaningful bonds that transcend sex and even romance but especially sex. what do you MEAN not everyones lives revolve around fucking and sucking or atleast like loving if your into that shit" (romance nuetral arospec allosexual)
meanwhile his on again off again boytoy fuckpartner vox has never truly been sexually attracted to anyone in his life (high libido sex positive ace demi-aro with a propensity for alterous attraction *cough one-sided radiostatic cough*)
and the both of them are in a commited platonic/business relationship with velvette who has absolutely no sexual or romantic interest in either of them (idk if shes a lesbian or aspec or bi and they're just not her type in that way; but its all the same result)
and yet none of them view their partnership as anything below or lesser than compared to the romantic and sexual relationships they do have. if not outright being more important than those (QPR-cule)
and ofcourse vox and vel will be standing right alongside valentino as he says this, nodding along without a hint of sarcasm or self awareness because they also genuinely think they believe the same thing.
and if you try to point this out to any of them (and somehow convince them that what they have going on is queer platonic and aspec in nature) they'll just be like "yeah but we're The Vees, we're overlords, we can just do whatever the Fuck (or lack there of) we want" and you know what they're right
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Yeah ghost is good and all but goose owns my heart where's the goose x reader at i need to marry that woman before he can daaammnn
👀👀 forreal? Damn. Ok, here's Goose doing some real cowgirl shit and staking her claim.
The way her hips slide against the saddle, reigns wrapped around on hand, the other gripping the back of the seat as the sleek palomino attempts to buck her off is absolutely sinful. You'd only stopped in the exhibition to get out of the heat of the fair but now you couldn't move, couldn't look away. You find a seat on the bleachers just in time for the horse to come close enough you can see her smile. She catches your wide eyed stare and winks.
"Goose from Ranch 141, showing us all there is an easy way to break a horse," The announcer jokes, earning a small laugh from the audience as the horse gallops around the dirt circle in the center, trying to shake off its rider.
The horse slows, rearing back and bucking hard. You hold your breath, watching Goose leave the saddle and slide right back into it. Another hard buck, her arms are tight, holding herself in the saddle as the horse tries its hardest to get her off. You don't think it's supposed to look so effortless.
You watch the rest of the show with bated breath, waiting for one of them to give an inch. You're unsurprissd when it's the horse that finally breaks, standing still and calm as Goose looks around the tent. Looks for you, you realize when her eyes land on you.
She gives the horse a little tap with her heels and directs it your way, giving the crowd a victory lap, and leaning dangerously far out of the saddle to set her warm brown hat on your head. You feel your cheeks starting to burn as she takes the horse back out of the ring, and disappears. You'd think you were dreaming if you couldn't feel the felt on you head.
You wait nervously by the exit. People file past you tossing you knowing winks. You don't pay them any mind, eyes searching for the woman who'd staked her claim on you.
A hand wraps around yours, tugging you all the way out of the tent before you can turn to face her. Goose raises a brow.
"Hope you didn't think I'd abandoned you," she beams, you shake your head and try not to lean away when she leans closer, peaking under the shadow of her hat, "Fuck you're cute. You got a sweetheart I need to be worried about?"
"No." You tell her quickly.
"No you're single or no I can take 'em?"
"I'm single," you let her tip your head back with two gentle fingers under your chin.
"Good, good girl." You mouth goes dry, and you think it isn't just the summer sun making your cheeks hot. She's not that much taller than you but her confidence makes her seem larger than life. "Come on then, let's enjoy the fair." Goose turns away from you, tugging you along behind her towards the festivities.
"We aren't going to-"
"Oh we are," she confirms, pulling you against her side as you walk, her fingers tightly laced with yours, "but I thought you might appreciate a little woo-ing first."
You very much do. You think she must've sensed you were nervous, because she makes every attempt at making you feel secure with her. She leads you through the fair with ease, treating you to fried goodies and barbecue, adjusting your stance with gentle touches when you take a turn at a shooting gallery. You make a valiant attempt at winning her a bear and end up with a shitty plastic top. She kisses your cheek with the same enthusiasm, and wins a bear for you in two clean shots.
The sun is setting when you finally get led towards the exit. You have to admit, you feel sufficiently wooed. You don't think you've ever had a date this attentive or fun. Even just talking to Goose as you walked around was a blast. She laughed at your jokes and told some horrendous ones in return, and now she was eagerly pressing you against the cab of an absolutely ancient pickup.
Her hand slides into your back pocket and drags you close, she cups your cheek as you wrap your arms around her shoulders and kiss her for all the trouble. Although given the way she smiles against your lips you think she must've had fun too. It certainly bodes well for you when she swipes her tongue against the seam of your lips. You wonder if you're too eager, shivering when she twists her tongue against your palette.
She slots her leg between yours and presses close, making sure you have no avenue of escape. As if you'd want to when she kisses you so hungrily. Her teeth catch your lip as she pulls back, nipping just to sooth the ache with another quick kiss.
"I know the saying is 'wear the hat, ride the cowboy,' but I can swing it either way you want." She murmurs, thumb rubbing your cheek, "Just give me the word, Sugar."
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