#at this point watching got amusing again but not because the compelling story b

[alwida10]

Reasons for watching:

MCU phase 1-2: 💗 saw intriguing, flawed, characters, complex storylines, fell in love, got sucked into a fictional world, I never wanted to leave again.

MCU phase 3: 🤨 ok, this is epic, but something is disturbing my willful suspense of disbelieve.

MCU phase 4-5: 🍿 someone lit a trash can filled with paper and fireworks on fire and now I can’t stop watching until it’s charred remains sizzle out.

[catty-words]

I’m not sure if you’ve answered this already but I’m wondering if you could further elaborate what your issue is with how Ben and Devi in season 2

boy howdy. i’ve got wine, i’ve got an intense attachment to these two characters, and i’m ready to rant. but just remember - you literally asked for this.

to really delve into why i find season two d/b a bit of a letdown, i think it’d be helpful to first establish what it is that drew me to the pairing in season one. some of it, of course, is surface-level shit, like the fact that maitreyi and jaren have chemistry that crackles on the screen and that their faces are pretty and they react to each other in really amusing and heart-wrenching ways. but, more to the point, it’s the way the characters are inextricably linked by the way their stories parallel and interact with each other that truly sent me on a spiral last summer.

devi is a snot. she loves being the center of attention. she’s insecure. she cares about being the best at school not just because it’s been ingrained in her that she should, but because she has goals and ambitions that are served by being the best. she’s pop culture and image obsessed. she’s desperate for the acceptance of her peers. and, because of this image obsession and desperation for acceptance, she feels compelled to mask the fact that she’s deeply, deeply sad.

pretty much every single one of these traits also applies to ben - all you have to do is take away the notion that being the best is ingrained by his parents and substitute sadness over a parent’s passing for sadness born out of parental neglect. and the fact that they’re so similar but have a well-cultivated resentment of each other? that’s exactly my shit. that’s literary self-hatred, poetic cinema, etc. they understand each other better than anyone else does or can because they, in essence, are an extension of each other. so there’s a ton of cool character work going on in their every interaction - the deepening empathy for others and a quest for greater self understanding.

you also have the way that, at the show’s young-adult coming-of-age core, is how horny and in need of an outlet for that horniness devi is. so, again, on the surface, d/b gets all the heat of two characters pitted against each other as enemies, which is super fun to watch and completely effective because, again, maitreyi and jaren have incredible on-screen chemistry. but under the surface, ben also gets to be devi’s safe space. because he understands her insecurity and her drive to be more than the weird nerd people perceive her as - he shares those things. which means intimacy between them happens almost by accident. devi’s not trying to manufacture it, it’s just there for her to fall into.

the characters know each other. and with that knowledge comes both the safety of being your true self and the tricky mess that is getting held accountable when you try to shirk who you really are in favor of fantasy.

so. season two. that chemistry between the actors doesn’t go away, of course, but the compelling sameness of the characters does.

what do i mean by that? well, it has a lot to do with the way ben is written as Morally Correct in his every action in season two, where devi’s a bumbling mess. he recognizes that cheating on shira was wrong, and he wants devi to know that he’s emotionally intelligent enough to Get That and mature enough to put an end to his wrongdoing. he hears that devi started the rumor about aneesa and he’s here to urge her down the path of redemption. he was scorned by devi, but he’s still going to show up in the bathroom and tend to her emotional well-being when another dude trods all over her.

i’ve gotten the sense that a lot of people found this characterization romantic and Romantically tragic, but it legitimately angers me. i don’t want the ben that’s so smitten with devi that he’ll cater his every move to helping her grow and realize how she, too, can be as Morally Correct as him. i want the ben that tells her india’s not that different from coachella & that mowgli didn’t run away from home, so stop whining and face what’s really scaring you, dummy! i wanted to see his anger, not wounded acceptance that no one loves him the way he loves them. i wanted to see him be the wretched little asshole i know and love because those traits - that acting out and being loud and not accepting anything less than what he wants from any given situation - are what make him so compatible with devi!! she’s not some swooning damsel who needs her knight ben to swoop in and help her make the right decision and he’s not some enlightened knight who’s just trying to do right by his lady love!! they’re messy!!! they’re angry!!! and they’ve spent pretty much their whole lives striving to prove they’re better than the other!!! a couple weeks of kissing would not negate the lifetime of hostility between them, nor ben’s tendency to fall back on obnoxious showboating to prove his worth to the world!!!

i feel like i keep talking around The Thing instead of being able to name it directly, but my frustration lies in the way devi becomes meeker and less in control of her actions in season two where ben becomes a romanticized ideal for whom devi isn’t good enough but hopes to prove herself worthy of anyway. because that’s somehow a far uglier dynamic than devi getting with a guy who once called her an unfuckable nerd.

[jiminrings]

honestly i could talk w band!hobi abt numbers all day, like i wouldn't even mind. what are ur thoughts on 27 hobi? i think they a bad bitch. also UM might i request a drabble abt like a film major! yn (that is very enthusiastic abt films and the aesthetics + cinematography and whatnot) w like,,, a theatre kid?? any of ot7 works fine and it's all good if u can't or don't want to! thankyouu 💜

muse of mine

pairing: namjoon x y/n

wordcount: 4k

glimpse: namjoon’s always been a little sensitive to feedback whether it’s positive or negative, y/n’s an endearing type of talker, and smuggled snacks to the theater haven’t ever tasted this sweet :D // gif from pinterest!

notes: i kinda switched it up a lil bit and made them more established in their respective fields bc my mind went berserk on this concept!!! also this is mayhaps my oNLY piece that’s just pure fluff

“27? The number? Hmm. That sounds... sexy.” - band!hobi

this been’s bugging you for the past half hour

this whole experience feels oddly familiar

you’ve been in this theater for half an hour so far to watch this play!!

lmao ur gonna admit RIGHT off the bat that theatre’s definitely not it for you

your slight unfondness for it is deeply-rooted back to university and for four years, you’ve consistently taken dumps on theatre kids even if it’s under your breath

alright it’s possible that you don’t hATE the actual people ( only some of them ;D ) themselves but rather this whole type of cockiness and the “i’m a direct descendant of shakespeare himself. trust me bro. on god” energy that they always seem to exhude

but realistically, maybe this deep-rooted hate stemmed from seokjin

he was the guy you’d share the exact same elective class with him for two straight whole semesters and you’ve been seatmates from time to time

homie took foreign language as an elective?????

the language is korean?????????????????

“wait b-but i — aren’t you — n-no but i really???”

that’s what you first sputtered to him in realization when he took his seat beside you

the two of you have only ever shown each other notes bc the other was dozing off and the occasional sharing of gummy bears that’s already pre-opened to not make any noise

but for some reason, it’s only dawned in you why seokjin’s a god in this class and he answers your questions without even looking at his notes by hALFWAY through the whole semester of foreign language

one day, u are gonna find a way to bodyslam yourself and never recover from it ever again

“mhmm. don’t sweat it, sweetheart. i personally think it’s very don quixote of me to y’know, take something as impractical and amusing as this.”

you snort at his choice of words because honestly!! you barely remember don quixote and jin’s use of it as an adjective jigs up a refresher course on your brain

who was he again?? 

was he the donkey

.. or are you thinking about shrek again because of your film analysis

you sWEAR there was a donkey in that story

it’s good fun to talk with jin even if he keeps sliding bourgeoisie words here and there and you’re a lil confused with all these references that he makes but that’s okay !!!

atleast even him saying it in a long-winded way that he was like someone from the merchant of somewhere, you know now that he pretty-pleased and charmed his way to the registrar for him to take korean as an elective

...

two weeks later, jin sits next to you in class 

in ACTUAL non-elective, non-native language he already speaks class

now that you’re squinting a bit more, jin does look a little uh?? different

his hair that was once a hybrid of lavender and peach and pink and then blonde was now wholly black and it’s probably his original hair color because it matches with those eyebrows of his!!!

his combo of a black bomber jacket with a silk button-up underneath honestly SLAPS and it makes you forget how he used to exclusively wear only knitted shirts and argyle-patterned cardigans

you have ur jaw dropped because you totally would’ve fallen for seokjin jAW-FIRST 

— if only he didn’t strike you as the brother type when he smacked the back of your head because you were falling asleep on class again and uhhh you mUst be forgetting that the two of you were sitting in front

you had no time to reevaluate whether you should develop a crush for him or not 

he’s immediately slapping his hands on his knees, looking at you so intensely before pointing a finger at you with so much conviction, and then scoffing to himself

“switched majors to film. theatre was gonna be the death of me!!! y/n, if you even think about trying to switch to that cheap, amazon-ordered quill and tanning lights for stage lighting major, you’re absolutely dEAD to me-”

you’ve never had a conversation this striking nor long with jin but you genuinely have no complaints at all

seokjin talks pure shit about theatre and theatre junkies and everything in between for the WHOLE day 

trails beside you for every single class you had, which was convenient because he can then sweet-talk his way again (if anybody even dared to question him) that he’s just newly-switched 

sat with you for lunch and him not eating because he just needS to tell you all about it and you trying not to choke on your pasta as you try to reply to him

followed you back hOME and decided to crash the night there

yeah, that. your unfondness for theatre’s rooted on that one

uh-huh safe to say that you’ve become best friends with jin ever since that day

you’re a sponge for your friends and jin’s the closest one you have, so it was only natural that you soak up his distastes and whatnot

not to brag but aha :D

you add salt to the water while you boil pasta so u may be a little bit of a masterchef or somewhat, no big deal :D

he’s absorbed your fascination for all kinds of lights and fixtures that he has about seven different nightlights in the form of squishies or neon and everything else on his bedside table, in which he turns all of them on at night

fun fact: he’s capable of sleeping in the dark

jin’s the whole reason for your stance on this

he’s adamant about his points and you’ve graduated uni four years ago!!!

which is why you DON’T get why jin would give you a scented black envelope, with “don’t come to this” scribbled in gold at the front, carrying a single ticket to this play with a sticky note saying “don’t watch this at 7 pm, wearing your boss lady year-end award show type of clothes, sitting at the ninth row from the back and two seats from your right.”

because of course!! what the hell did he expect you to do? NOT come to this play at 7 pm wearing your boss lady year-end award show type of clothes then sitting at the ninth row from the back, two seats from the right???

OF COURSE YOU WOULD

your goal in life is to do exactly the opposite of what jin tells you. there’s literally nothing else in life you’d want to fulfill

he’s made it quite easy for you to spite him and although you wouldn’t admit it.,,.,., you may be a little petty ok

he’s the even bigger goof out of the two of you and you can never have the final say!! it’s always him and his wit and yOU being the dunce

it’s a lil sus that jin’s basically ASKING for it with his instructions but whatever

whatever it is, this is finally your chance to enact the final say and you’re gonna pull ALL the stops

all you know about theater-goers is that they dress fancy and wear these mini binoculars and that’s about it

there’s not even one film you know that you see anyone in the audience wearing a worn-in cardigan or even a puffer jacket even if the theater’s mad cold

all the people bring are scarves and shawls???? thee thinnest version of a blanket that won’t warm them up against the frigid airconditioning

that whole dress code sounds ridiculous!!! great please ring out this thousand-dollar dress im gonna wear to the theater thank u

you’re a little worried that you’re not gonna blend into the crowd, but after some digging about the invitation, formal wear is most definitely recommended

it’s an exclusive invite-only play which would be later released to the general public later on so yeah the situation dOES call for a gown thank u very much

also how could you forget that jin explicitly told you not to wear this type of attire

if you’re being humble right now, which you always normally are, even if that jUST sounded boastful talking about how you’re humble all the time —

you do look pretty breath-taking :-)

even when the doors weren’t opened and everyone’s just collectively loitering outside the hall, you’d feel glances at you

the sweet security guard did a double-take at you and mumbled a “very very nice evening to you, miss :D” instead of his normal “enjoy the show!” to the other patrons before you

you’re gonna soak all the silent compliments up and try to remember all of them before writing them on your journal later hee-hee

your midnight blue satin dress that’s floor-length and off-shoulder is dEFINITELY in your favor :D

your dress still glimmers even if the spotlight isn’t on you and you wish you weren’t shy to ask a random stranger to take a picture of you

going on self-timer isn’t ideal either when there’s like a hundred other people in the room

they probably wouldn’t even care if you took a picture of yourself!!! but in your head they probably think that you’re laughable so you’d rather not.. do that

the theater’s dark as hell if that wasn’t established

it is literally pitch black in the room and the ushers at each row holding the flashlights that are meant to guide the patrons aren’t exactly helpful

big kudos to them though,, must take a lot of self-control to not wave their lights like it was a rave :D

a flashlight tHAT bright?? whew pls is this what ships feel in the night

the last time you were in a rave, your thirty minutes of fun was cut short when seokjin immediately got hammered and wouldn’t stop throwing a fit if you didn’t drive him home that instant

his energy seemed to compelling everyone that he’s managed to somehow suck the energy out of a WHOLE rave so you took him home for everyone’s enjoyment :(((( except yours apparently

you’re trying hard to focus on the play that’s happening because for the past twenty minutes, all you’ve done is zone out randomly with ideas all of a sudden 

you NEED to listen

....

uh-huh...

UH-HUH......

wait this is actually.. good

you find plays hard to follow and absolutely boring when you don’t immerse yourself in a run-down PRIOR to watching it in order to get

it’s the same analogy as reading the plot of a movie on wikipedia before watching the movie at the cinema.... absolutely useless

it sucks out the fun from something you weren’t supposed to know

watching plays is two hours of you being confused, going home to read the plot and only understand it by tHEN, and never coming to the theater again because you’d waste your money.... watching something cluelessly in the theater..... for a plot you’d grasp at home

but no

because this one

actually this one that you’re watching...

it’s not bad

it’s nice, actually.

within two minutes, you managed to grasp that it’s a story about a never-ending spring between these two lovers

there’s something about the whole setting of it actually that just sucks you in

in some plays, the outfits would seem so forced even in the given context that it reminds you of uh a particular superhero movie

and yes ur aware that stage makeup has to be enhanced so that people all the way to the back row would see

but there’s just something in this scene that’s laid out right-now that actually gets you in awe

it’s of the couple in the back of their pick-up truck and everything about it seems so natural

the background straight up looks like what it’d be if you were to go outside

the guy’s arm around her shoulder seems so natural and in nature that it doesn’t feel like a random cue in the script

the girl twinkles and it doesn’t even feel like a forced type of laugh you’d cue in attempt to warm the audience’s hearts

it’s of a plot where the the guy eventually falls out of love with the girl, while girl gets even more smitten with the guy at the same time

it’s what you take from the past ten minutes that you watch in dead silence, and you don’t even remember in the back of your head that you’re supposed to hate plays

“no way.”

you mumble in disbelief under your breath, head shaking profusely

is your mind playing tricks on you???

you’ve got too used to seokjin sitting beside you that you immediately turn to your right, whispering out your concerns 

“is it just me or is she wearing a different shade of pink?”

you don’t even buffer for one second when you ask the stranger beside you

you’re so concerned that you’re looking at him intently while waiting for his answer that could either console or despair you, a random theater-goer that’s too noisy with her questions for her own good

it’s absolutely dARK as fuck in the theater but after awhile your eyes adjusted slightly

and the first thing you look at after the stage is him

him as in the dude in your right that you just asked all of a sudden

you could only see his silhouette and the faintest features of his face along with his well-dressed suit but god

... you are totally not lying if you say that even the barest silhouette of him doesn’t look handsome

you’re expecting him to tell you off for being so noisy but instead, he’s the one who takes you by surprise

“how did you notice that?” 

:O

“oh my god!” you exclaim almost too loudly that you yourself even jolts, the guy even making you duck with him slightly for a brief second, “im sO sorry!! am i accidentally spoiling it out for you?”

the guy blinks twice, lips slightly parted before shaking his head no

“no, no... this is the first screening — i mean uh, how would you know that?”

oh boy

you’re adjusting yourself on your seat, bum now warm as you try to explain and not be nervous because what if you just made a wrong assumption about this play and you’re sitting next to a goddamn tHEATRE BUFF???

“well i —uh, uhm what’s your name?” you’re flustered and the FIRST thing you ask is what was his name.,.,,

he seems equally as flustered before he adjusts his glasses, “o-oh uhm i’m namjoon...?”

alright! handsome guy is namjoon!

“you see, namjoon — okay it might just be in my head, but i tHINK it looks deeper with the light somehow. but uh...? the spotlight’s not following her and — is it just me or without the light, her sweater looks brown?”

you’re squinting and if u squint even more, maybe your contacts would just crumple by then

hold on a second

“brown, like — oh my gOD LIKE-”

namjoon puts a hand over his mouth before you could even gasp, hand reaching out for your forearm even before you manage to grasp his shoulder to take it in realization

was it under your nose the whole time??

“... fall.”

:D

holy fucking shit

namjoon looks positively euphoric looking at your face of realization, his once-heavy chest about the whole scene becoming completely devoid of weight

“exactly!!”

his confirmation makes you inwardly squeal, grinning as you point at him and the stage back and forth

“i think this is the first play i’ve become ever interested in watching.”

okay what now

his ears perk up at that, your first sentence that you’ve said after your pink sweater that looks like spring also looks brown like fall in certain scene because of the lighting realization

“it is?”

he takes the chance to look at you as best as he could, trying to play his squinting as cool as he can

namjoon’s far sighted and the glasses he’s wearing are nOT up to date with his current grade bc he’s pretty sure his eyesight’s worsened the past month

he can’t make you out wholly, but he does know that you’re pretty

his eyes don’t linger on you because of the snacks you’re fishing from your purse while you talk that are absolutely illegal in this theater house lmao

but instead, his gaze lingers on you because you’re so pretty

the minimal light that’s bouncing off the stage is enough for him to see a faint outline of your features, highlighting your smiles just right and your dress to glint underneath

“mhmm. i actually hate plays,” suddenly, you’re not scared if namjoon happens to be some sort of theatre buff and you’re offending him because honestly, you feel at ease. “crunch?” you’re holding out the mini bar of chocolate out to him, one he politely declines to because his eyes are bulging out the next second

“you do????”

his genuine reaction indulges you, making you grin ultimately that you put off eating snacks for now to focus on him

“yeah! this is my hate outfit :D”

namjoon giggles as if it’s the funniest thing he’s ever heard

you automatically scoot closer because this time, it’s yOUR turn to shush him

this is totally for just the reason of talking more discreetly and not distracting anyone and is totally not an excuse to be closer to the next guy and touch shoulders with him then get a whiff of cologne because it’s rare for a guy to be handsome and aLSO smell good

your eyes get used to the darkness and eventually, you could make out features of namjoon beside you

he has the prettiest eyes you’ve ever seen

and the way he looks at you makes you feel safe and even your height difference is visible with how probably lonG his torso is compared to yours, his gaze doesn’t make you feel small

namjoon’s still (unsurprisingly) far-sighted and ur so close that he’s a lil cross-eyed 

fuck it he’s gonna go to ophthalmologist FIRST thing in the morning tomorrow

“then why are you here?”

“my friend seokjin,” you lean back upon realizing the original reason why you’re here, the situation being so ironic that you puff out a smile

your friend’s named seokjin?

cool :D kim seokjin is namjoon’s of his favorite directors eVER!!

second best for him actually though.,., no one could quite compare to his first

your explanation makes him cackle several times, a swell of pride recounting why you hate (it’ll be past tense probably after this one) theatre 

“what about you?”

you turn the question to him, making his dimples disappear effectively that you think you’ve just spooked him

“i uh, well i always wanted to see a story that went like this, so i’m here.”

“you’re a critic? oh god. please don’t tell me you heard all my mumbles.”

no this is even WORSE

namjoon’s not a theatre buff

HE’S A CRITIC????????????

god im coming up

“don’t worry, i also think that the drapings must probably be dirty.”

he breaks out into a smile recounting how you were talking to yourself earlier, a snort escaping him involuntarily 

“RIGHT??? it’s like how do you even clean them?? do they fit in washing machines or-”

my god he’s such a nice guy!!!

in fact, he’s everything you want in a guy

you’ve went through atleast twelve facets of emotions for the past hour and you’re not even dating!!!!!!!

“my thoughts exactly!! and if it’s by hand, how do you even scrub the entirety of it?? or wring the water out??”

namjoon KNOWS exactly what’s up :’)

“is there even a clothesline that’d bEAR the weight??”

the two of you are so happy that you just look at each other laughing, a moment in time before namjoon nudges you to lean back because the ending’s happening

you don’t even question him how he’d know that it’s the ending and not just another opening to a new scene, just listening to him

you’re so happy

the play made you happy but namjoon made you even happier :-)

“if you are a critic, you should probably open up your review with this chatty play-hating girl beside you, then at the end, close it off with how she loves it.”

it’s the parting conversation as you realize and holy fuck you are nOT ready for it

you r gonna drag this out for as long as you could <3

......

and namjoon wants in too <3

“noted. if i was a playwright, i’d even make you the lead. which detail should i include? offering me wrapper-covered rice crispy snacks, or asking how you’d watch it while going thru the bathroom?”

this feels so natural

as natural as the couple in the play you’ve just finished watching :))

“you’re hilarious,” you’re not even the slightest bit annoyed and your restrained smile tells him all about it

yea you may have brought in snacks illegally but you aRE gathering your trash up as you’re a decent human being

namjoon wishes you’d pick up after yourself slowly, standing up from his seat as he has the plan of picking up trash that isn’t even his

“what name should i put then?”

you’re silent and oh god he thinks you found his company stupid and would definitely not give him your name

you’re not ignoring him though!!!

his words are still stuck in your head, realizing it lately with his “which detail should i include?”

“me wanting to turn this into a film, actually.”

you test the words out on your tongue, nodding to yourself after a few seconds that you seem so sure of it

“yeah. i wanna make it into a film.”

the lights turn on after being dim for so long, namjoon’s eyes going wide trying to digest what you’ve just said

“w-what?

.....

no fucking way

HOLY FUCKING SHIT SWFRWFBWRHGBRBVWRV SWBHJSDB SHJAVBHGJDS BWHRGHBSVWBGRH

namjoon’s malfunctioning as he’s looking at you from eye to eye, bottom lip trembling while he’s so keen at pointing at you

“y-you’re miss y/n!!”

....

right

oH RIGHT

he’s a fan of yours??

namjoon’s fanning his face because he’s about to literally burst into tears

how could he nOT???

how could he not be emotional when all along, he’s been talking to his number one favorite director????

you and your films are the absolute gems of his life namjoon’s not even kidding

your films were world-renowned for being so natural and sentimental without loading too much into it!!!! you’re known for being so humble through the multiple back-to-back awards and praise you get!!!! 

he cannot calm the fUCK down when you’re rubbing circles on his back

“you w-want to turn my play into a film?”

oh my gOD

you’re fumbling for the envelope and it’s only nOW that you realize that it’s not from seokjin in the first place

spring day a play by kim namjoon an invite for director y/n y/l/n

“it’s you!!!!”

“no it’s YOU!!”

jin’s plan worked alright :D

he’s just FOUR rows behind you lmao

it was just two weeks ago when yoongi, the executive producer of his film that he was directing, let it slip that he was co-financing a play

he met yoongi some semesters later after he became close with you, and he’s aLSO converted yoongi into hating theatre then he fit right in to your little posse of theatre kid-hating film students

that gave jin the laugh of his laugh and yoongi was not joking at all

“no, no. i’m telling you man. it’s different! i even have the script that i’ll let you read.”

and holy shit it IS different

if you see a couple tears on the last seven pages of yoongi’s copy of spring day’s script then mind yo oWN fucking business

then two weeks later, here he is :D

jin managed to also convert you to love theatre even IF it is namjoon’s play that did all the work

( also coincidentally found you a future boyfriend because he’s tired of seeing you alone and the closest you’d get to having someone is projecting your yearning into writing the scripts for the films you’d make )

he’s also secretly co-financed the whole play along with yoongi and he’ll drop that bomb later on lmao

“and that must mean i looked like a total FOOL beside you oh my god im so sorry!!”

namjoon panics at that, about to cry when another realization hits him when he’s about to put his head on his hands

“then that means the friend who gave you the ticket was-”

SEOKJIN VBFHSBVHSFBVSFHDVBSJFV SFJVJSFVSJVSSV SSV V FS FSV SFBVRBVRSVSWVGU

he cries to your shoulder and you never expected to be hugging and consoling someone you’ve just met two hours ago, a more than fond smile on your face he takes advantage of when he sneaks in the chance to ask you

“do you mean that?”

“now why would i lie to the playwright who’s been listening to me talk shit, then theorizing, then crying for the past hour?”

it’s true though

namjoon’s seen it all

he’s still handsome as ever even when he sniffles, his dimples on display when you return his question

“now did you mean it? writing me into your play?”

why are you even ASKING

:D

he’s the biggest fan of u

namjoon’s made notes of your work, dedicated scripts to your movies, and he’s thinking about how it’s not yet hitting you how your whole epiphany about the pink sweater turning brown on his play,,, was entirely inspired from you and your affinity for lighting in your films

he thinks it’s still a little early to kiss you on the cheek even if you’ve already hugged, instead settling on pinching your cheek with satisfaction present in all corners

“you’ve always been my muse.”

[tinygamertris]

@nagiru It got super long again! Can we use Read Mores from now on to keep the length down?

Oh man re-reading every good YamaHibi fic there is I KNOW THAT FEEL. I am such a rarepair person and even the commonly known ships I am into tend to have minimal fic. There are some lovely fics out there for them though. The other main pair I have from DeSu2 is Saiduq/Hibiki because they are just darling, but Yamato and Hibiki are my first and most enduring love. (I’m the person who wrote male-Tico/Hibiki fic on AO3 in case you’re wondering. Look upon my works ye mighty BNFs and despair that you cannot comprehend the level I operate on.)

Yamato staying in the Akashic Stratum for the chance to make sure the new world will have Hibiki in it? I legit cry every single time I replay Record Breaker because it’s so beautiful. If that’s not the purest damn expression of love in gaming then I don’t want to know what is.

Oh man that anime. That goddamn anime. I own it on DVD and have watched it a grand total of once because I played the game first and spent the whole time going “WAIT NO THAT’S NOT HOW ANY OF THIS GOES!” I will admit the animation is incredibly high quality though, Everyone looks remarkably good and the battles are all top notch. Just a pity everything else completely missed the point of the game... 

(Although everyone who died disappearing from the end credits? That was fucking TOP NOTCH. And Daichi’s death was absolutely tearjerking.)

Yeah, that battle system is just awwwwful in the first two games. I should probably retry them now I have my contacts and the surgery but when I first played them I legitimately couldn’t read any of the in-battle text. And I’m pretty sure I played them before my vision started going downhill too... 

Shin Megami Tensei 4 and Apocalypse are bloody good games! I love them a whole lot, and I’m really sad that the final dungeon of Apocalypse is such a goddamn (hah!) nightmare because it keeps me from replaying it as much as I’d like to. But just. Goddamn. If Jonathan and Walter aren’t just a perfect illustration of why Law and Chaos is so much more compelling a dichotomy than Good and Evil. I could go for hours about the complexities of the plot and how terrible it is that the boys who accompany you to the alternative dimensions probably aren’t the ones you go back to your home reality with and how different everything would end up if Navarre came to Tokyo and just augh. I HAVE FEELS ABOUT THESE GAMES.

In Sofie’s story Sofie herself takes over as the primary Psi-element teammate. Lucca describes it as ‘taking the pain and turning it into a weapon’. She’s at her most dangerous when she draws on memories of Shinjiro, which should say everything about how I view the Psi element. It really is a pity that Haru is so easily written out, but it also says a lot about the writing team... 

I still haven’t played Persona 5 Royal. I know I should but a. I promised myself I wouldn’t until I finished the Sofie fic so I wouldn’t get bleedthrough and b. I’ve been playing a LOT of Elder Scrolls Online the last few months and every time I think ‘I should play it’ I end up thinking ‘BUT THAT’S LESS TIME WITH MY PRECIOUS BOIS IN ESO’ and not doing it. It’s been sitting on my game shelf since it released here in Australia.

I think Yamato and Miyako both have legal training but Miyako is the one with the right skills to really shine in court. Yamato’s bluntness and utter refusal to tolerate fools is not going to work well in a courthouse setting, as amusing as it would be.

The fight in question is the one when you have to fight Septentrione-Miyako to rescue Saiduq! There’s two options for winning the battle: thrash the crap out of Miyako, or get Yamato into position to release Saiduq with the Dragon Stream. As angry as I always am at Miyako at that point in proceedings I always pick the ‘rescue star fluff’ option.

[thiswasinevitableid]

7 with indruck?

7: I’m assigned to write a piece rounding up all the bad press that you, a famous celebrity, have been getting and you show up in my office and demand me to write a retraction and get the ‘real’ story”. I went SFW

“Dude! You can’t go in there! Hey, wait, dude, hold on!”

Jake’s voice jars Indrid from staring miserably at his computer screen. But it does nothing to prepare him for the stack of papers that slams into his desk. 

“Where the fuck do you get off man?” 

Staring him down is a man with dark hair, mis-matched eyes, a scar down his right cheek, and an extremely pissed-off expression. Indrid recognizes him instantly, both from T.V and his last assignment.

“Mr. Newton?” 

“Yeah, that’s me, the guy you been draggin through the goddam mud!” 

“I-”

“Where are you even gettin this stuff? Substance abuse, bad break-ups, the split between me and my team, who the fuck told you that bullshit?”

“I am not going to reveal my sources.”

“Oh now you get some fuckin ethics?”

“I was just reporting what people told me. I was assigned to round up the press around you now that you’re relaunching your show, and this is what I got. I’m sorry if that upsets you.”

“Upsets me?” Mr. Newton plants his hands on the desk, leaning into Indrid’s space, “buddy, I ain’t even on the same planet as upset right now. I’m actually feelin pretty damn calm, because I know who the fuck is to blame.”

“It’s not my fault” Inrid snaps back, “I got assigned it at random, so if you have issues kindly take them up with Woodbridge.”

“Sir, if you insist on raising a fuss in my office-”

“This him?” Mr. Newton points to Woodbridge as the editor appears from his office. 

“Yes.” Indrid glares at Woodbridge through his glasses; he told him these kind of stories would lead to trouble, and it wasn’t even his usual beat.

He braces for Mr. Newton continuing to escalate, but instead the stocky man takes a deep breath , holding his hands up apologetically.

“Look, I’m real sorry, shouldn’t have come in guns blazin like that, and I know you fellas gotta make a livin same as anyone but this kind of stuff-” he whacks the papers into Indrid’s lap, “y’all gotta remember there’s a human on the other end of it.”

“That’s a very fair point, Mr. Newton-” Woodbridge gestures towards the door.

“A human with a damn good lawyer.”

“Mr.Newton, free speech”

“Protects you from the government, not from the Duck. I don’t mind the break-up nonsense, that happened plenty during the first show. Leo, Minerva, and I have been through every relationship configuration known to man, accordin to papers like yours. But the shit about me drinkin? That could damage my career. So could the reasons your ‘sources’ gave for why the show ended. You tellin me you’d hire a fella who apparently yelled at his co-hosts day in and day out and ‘couldn't hack’ bein’ outdoors?” This last question he directs at Indrid, who shakes his head. 

“Mr. Newton, retracting the story would look very bad for us. However, we’d be more than willing to publish your side of the story.”

“Close, but my word ain’t enough to counter those claims about me bein’ incompetent. I’m goin’ on a month and a half tour to location scout and shoot the first two episodes. I want one of your writers to come with. Specifically, I want him.” He points to Indrid.

“Wait, why me? I’m not a travel writer, and I have a photography assignment due next week.”

“Because you’re the one who caused this mess, slim.”

Indrid starts to protest when Woodbridge turns to with a smirk.

“Start transferring your assignments, Indrid; you’re going on a roadtrip.”

----------------------------------------

Indrid grumbles to himself as he waits on the curb with his bag. Duck, as Mr. Newton has said to call him, told him to pack only one bag, and to bring his camera (“saw your shots when I was researchin you; you might like shootin out on the road”).

A motorcycle pulls up to the curb as he checks the time on this phone. He doesn’t give the vehicle a second look until the rider speaks to him.

“Glad you’re on time.” The helmet comes off, revealing Duck looking much calmer than the last time he saw him, “let’s get your gear on the bike and get goin’.”

Indrid stares at him in disbelief, “were you at any point going to warm me that I’d be doing this whole trip on a death machine?”

“Didn’t think I had to. Figured you knew this was how I traveled now, given all your, uh, thorough research.” Duck fixes him with a shit-eating grin as he straps his bag onto the bike, then hands him a helmet.

Indrid groans, jams the helmet on and awkwardly climbs onto the back of the bike.

“Gonna have to hang onto me, slim.” Duck’s voice crackles through his helmet, “don’t worry, I ain’t gonna bite you, even if I still kinda feel like it.”

“How encouraging.” He loops his arms around the T.V star, winces as the bike pulls out into traffic. There’s a laugh as he tightens his grip in fear, Duck’s body suddenly the only safe thing in the world. 

They zoom onto the freeway, and promptly come to a dead stop in traffic.

“Truly invigorating.” Indrid mutters. 

“Ain’t gonna be much fun until we’re outta the city. And I ain’t about to go zippin’ between lanes to cut ahead; great way to get us both killed.”

As they inch along, Indrid starting to sweat from the heat of the pavement, Duck asks, “did you ever watch the show?”

“Is there anyone who didn’t? Wild World was on every day. I’m fairly certain it’s still all Animal Planet plays some days.”

“Yeah but, uh, did you actually watch it on purpose?” 

“I did, now and then. I found Minerva’s tendency to try more extreme forms of exploration stressful, but I generally enjoyed what I saw. I’m not surprised you’re the one who picked the show back up; you were always oddly compelling on camera, and it was clear it was a passion project for you.”

“Yeah, it really was. Is. Feels weird to be doin’ it without them. Can’t blame ‘em for havin’ their own lives and goals though. Leo was ready to retire after the Gila Monster incident, and Minerva’s wanted to run an adventure bootcamp for years.”

“You know, if you hurry and explain everything in the next ten minutes, you can just pull off there and drop me at the edge of town.”

A chuckle, “Nice try, Indrid. You ain’t gettin outta roughin’ it that easy.”

“It was worth a try. Alaska was the last episode run, right?”

Duck’s posture shifts so subtly that, were he not holding him, Indrid wouldn’t have noticed it. 

“Yeah. Yeah it was. Nothin’ like gettin attacked by a wolf and takin a bunch of rabies shots to the gut to put you off filmin’.” 

“It really was a wolf? Everything I read said-”

“I’d misidentified what attacked us? Yeah, I know. American wolves never really go after humans, that’s why we were so fuckin’ screwed when this one did. Poor fella. He was sick. We coulda proved what happened except I told Leo to destroy the footage and we had a knock down, drag out fight over it until he did.”

“Why on earth would you do that?”

“Because I didn’t want my pain, Minerva’s pain, and the wolf’s pain to become some goddamn viral sensation!” Duck snaps. 

Indrid decides to drop it, feels Duck sag in the drivers seat. In spite of dragging him out into the wilderness, Indrid doesn’t bear Duck any bad feeling. And he doesn’t like seeing him sad. 

“I, ah, I always liked the episodes where you showcased moths and butterflies. Moths are my favorite creatures, they’re so varied but so overlooked.”

Nothing but the traffic around them, then, “I once saw a Luna Moth bigger’n my hand. Didn’t get it on camera but damn was it a stunner.”

“Where did you see it?”

“Now there’s a story…”

By the time Duck finishes the cars are finally moving, and Duck changes them into the lane leading towards the exit for a single lane, county highway. 

“Fuckin’ finally. Alright Indrid, hold tight.”

What follows is simultaneously the most thrilling and most terrifying four hours of Indrid’s life as Duck speeds down the road, win whipping around them and the world going by in a blur that’s much more alarming when not behind metal and glass. They find a rest stop, where Indrid shotguns an entire bag of skittles under Duck’s amused gaze, and get back on the road for an only slightly less terrifying four hours more. 

They stop for the night at a KOA (“you’re lucky, slim, I got us a cabin to ease you into things”). Whereupon Indrid is treated to the sight of Duck stripping off his road gear, back muscular and sporting several scars.

“How are you likin’ life on the road?” Duck asks, not turning but starting to undo his pants. Indrid doesn’t look away until he’s down to his boxers.

“You know, it’s growing on me.”

They make their first shooting destination the next afternoon, setting up camp in a mostly-empty campground before hiking off into the woods. Duck shoots B-roll while Indrid photographs, the pair working in near total silence before meeting up with their contact near a jumble of boulders.

“Nice to see you again, Thacker.” Duck shakes the man’s hand, and gets a pat on the back.

“Good to you too, sport. Who’s the new fella?”

“My biographer.”  Duck deadpans.

Duck spends the rest of the day filming as Thacker helps him find nest and burrows and creatures to shoot and narrate over. In spite of the show being done on a single camera, Duck is compelling as always when he talks about the natural world. 

Indrid just wishes he’d sprung for better hiking boots.

“Ooof.” He mutters, face down on his sleeping bag.

“Not surprised, we did about ten miles all told today.”

“I repeat. Oof.”

A kind, sympathetic laugh, “C’mon, you’ll feel better after some dinner.”

Later that night, as he’s climbing into his sleeping bag, Duck pokes his head into the tent.

“Psst, Indrid, come look.” 

Indrid follows him out, kneels by a clump of flowers when he waves him down. 

“See, look, riiight there” Duck points, “it’s a Hummingbird Moth.”

Indrid gasps, delighted, and watches the pollinator flit from blossom to blossom. Duck sits beside him, answering his questions when he asks them, until it’s too dark for either of them to see.

--------------------------------

Duck never thought he’d have a travel companion again. Not after Alaska, not after the attack and what came in the nights to follow. 

He certainly never assumed the wiry, silvery haired writer who’d nearl fucked everything up would turn out to be that person. But Indrid, for all his initial skepticism, has become an excellent partner. He’s easy going, eccentric enough that Duck’s own quirks don’t phase him, quiet;y awkward, and a damn good photographer. The fact his alienly handsome face has become a bit windburnt and his pale hair a little longer only adds to his charm.

Christ, Duck wants to rip those red glasses off and kiss him until he’s breathless. 

Currently, he’s missing the feeling of long arms around his waist, as he left Indrid back with a family whose jeep had run out of gas. They’re in one of the long, monotonous stretches of desert highway where passersby are few and cell phone service is unreliable, so Duck volunteered to ride ahead to the next gas station and bring some back. As the Jeep comes into view, he sees the family waving. Indrid is leaning against the car, smiling as if Duck is the greatest thing he’s ever seen. 

That settles it; when they make Santa Fe, he’s calling The Weekly Rounds and asking Woodbridge to extend Indrid’s assignment. And if the old man refuses, well, Animal Planet is thrilled to have him back, and made it clear they’d be happy to pay for an additional camera man.

------------------------------

This time they’re the only ones in the campground, and Indrid suspects it might technically be closed. Indrid could do this forever. He wants to stay like this, with Duck, day in and day out, have their evenings be like this. Duck makes a fire, keeping it small to be safe, and the evening progresses like normal, the two of them swapping stories and munching on the dinner they whipped up from leftovers from the last gas station. Then the moon rises, two days from full, and Duck doubles over with a groan. 

“Fuck, fuckfuckfuck.”

“What’s wrong?” Indrid moves to help him, but Duck raises his hand to stop him.

“Fuck, I’m so sorry, ‘Drid, fuck, I thought I had another day, thought we could make it somewhere I could keep you safe.”

“Safe from what? Duck, please, you’re hurt, I can call for help, just hold on.”

“No” Duck snarls, still hunched over, “you ain’t callin anyone. What you’re gonna do is run, far and as fast as you can, away from me. Find a tree, find a cave, flag down a car if you can find one. Go, please, fuck.” He falls off the stump he’s sitting on, and in spite of his instructions Indrid tries to help him up.

“Go!” It’s a growl now, and when Duck looks up at him his face is changing shape. Duck drags himself away from the fire, into the shadows, and Indrid turns, starting to run. There’s howl of pain and he stops. He can’t leave Duck like this. He won’t.

Resolute, he turns back to the camp and immediately regrets his decisions. Whatever is in the shadows isn’t human, not anymore. It’s growling low and labored, as it rises onto two feet and howls. 

“Oh fuck me.” Indrid doesn’t dare turn his back, tries to slowly creep away and trips on a stray piece of firewood. The monster lowers to all fours, padding into the firelight across from him. It’s fur is dark and shaggy, it’s hands sport claws and when it opens it’s mouth to grin at him it’s teeth glitter like rows of knives. 

He has to keep the fire between him and it, even if he has to spend his night running in some Scooby-Doo style circle around the fire pit. It’s his only chance.

In one, large leap, the werewolf clears the fire and lands in front of him, front paws bracketing his body when he tries to crawl back.

“Told you to run, slim.” 

“I, I can’t.”

“Didn’t think you were stubborn to the point of dyin’.” 

“Y-you told me not to run from predators, and I c-cannot drive the bike. And, and I didn’t, I couldn’t leave you.”

“Ain’t that sweet.” Duck grins again, “but why do you think I told Leo and Minerva I wasn’t safe to be around no more? Because a werewolf don’t know friend from foe.”

“That’s, that’s a lie. Y-you clearly know me, you know your past, you’re not some mindless killer ahgod.” He whimpers as a muzzle finds the crook of his neck, inhaling deeply before sending hot, hungry breath across his skin. 

“Mmmmm, you smell good, sugar.”

“You’re not going to eat me.” Indrid says, eyes shut.

“You seem real sure about that.” Another snuffle, tongue dragging along his throat.

“You’re not because you are still Duck, just very large and covered with fur and with a mouth full of unnecessarily sharp teeth, and even though you seem convinced you’ve become bloodthirsty you are still you.” It comes out in a rush and he holds his breath as a clawed hand cups the back of his head. Duck tugs his head back, nosing along his exposed neck. He stares at the stares, praying they’re not the last thing he sees. 

“I could rip your goddamn throat out.” Duck says matter-of-factly. 

“Do you want to?” He whispers, hands coming up instinctively to protect his vital organs.

A long growl, and then Duck’s face blots out the night sky, “No. I don’t.”

“Ohthankgoodness.”

Duck rumbles out a laugh, “that’s puttin it mildly, slim. No one ever stuck around long enough to see what I’d do because I always hid myself or they had the goddamn good sense to run when I said too. Always assumed as soon as I was all the way changed, I’d wanna hurt people, even if they were people I loved.” He plucks Indrid’s glasses off, setting them carefully on the picnic table before using the pad of his thumb to wipe away a tear he hadn’t realized was there.

“What do you want to do instead?”

“In general, or to you?” 

“Both?” Indrid is puzzled by his phrasing. 

“Kinda amped up, like I wanna go for a run. Transformin’ basically releases a shit ton of adrenaline so your body just doesn’t collapse from the pain. But as far as you’re concerned…” the muzzle his back, snuffling at his face and chest, “dunno, mostly just wanna keep you close. Protect you. Some part of the wolf-brain is kinda just screamin ‘mine’ over and over again.”

“Oh. Ah. That’s, that’s good.” It’s also painfully arousing, but he’s not quite ready to admit that aloud yet.

“Probably helps that you’re wearing my shirt, since it means my scent is all over you already.”

“You let me borrow it AHHEY, gahthattickles” Indrid cackles as licks and nuzzles his face.

“Aww, didn’t know you were ticklish, sugar.” Duck grabs him, begins mercilessly rubbing his face on any exposed skin he can find.

“I’m not you are just very AHhehe hairy!” In retaliation Indrid reaches between them and scritches his fingers against Ducks chest and belly.

ThwupThwup

They both look at Duck’s tail with surprise. Indrid rubs his belly again.

ThwupThwup

“Didn’t know it did that. I mean, guess makes sense on account of bein’ kinda canine, but I guess I ain’t ever been really happy when I been like this before.”

“Should I keep doing that?”

“Fuck yeah. Hold on, here.” Duck adjusts so he’s on his back with Indrid more or less on top of him. Indrid resumes petting him, Duck making little happy whines as he does.

“Damn, that feels good sugar, ooh right.” 

“Why do you keep calling me that? It’s a pet name.”

“I, uh, fuck, um, fuck, I didn’t, meant to say, uh, fuck.” A deep breath as Indrid sits up to meet his eyes, “I’m real fuckin into you, ‘Drid. I, I didn’t wanna say nothin until we were somewhere you could bail out easily if you needed to. But I ain’t felt this way about anyone in years.”

“Is that wolf-you talking or you-you talking?” Indrid asks, toying with a patch of fur.

“Both. I wanna be with you, and wanna keep travelin with you as my partner, as my, uh, my boyfriend. As my mate. Okay, that last bit was definitely the wolf talking.”

“I...I would like that as well, Duck. I didn’t know how to say it, I was afraid that what happened with your friends meant you didn’t want to be close to anyone. Including me.”

Duck sighs, “I wish I’d known then what we figured out tonight. Maybe things woulda ended a little better between us three. I just, I couldn’t face the idea of bein’ out on a shoot with ‘em and havin this exact thing happen.”

“I must admit, the lack of a full moon is rather confusing.”

“It ain’t just the full moon. It’s a few days after and before too, and I thought I had one more before it hit. Plan was to sneak out of the hotel in Santa Fe and hole myself up in a cave somewhere.”

Indrid strokes his cheek, the fur a little coarser there, “That was what attacked you three, I take it.”

“Uh huh. We were trackin it, thinkin’ it was some kind of huge predator we might be able to film.  It jumped Minerva first, but she’s a tough one, managed to hold her own and only got scratched up. I pulled it off her and it bit me. I, uh, I shot it point blank while it was doin’ that. Turned into a man as it fell in the dirt. Leo and Minerva said I did what I had to but I...well, let’s just say I still see that fellas face a lot in my dreams.”

“No wonder you wanted the footage destroyed.” Indrid murmurs.

Duck nods, waves one hand in front of his face, “damn skeeters, c’mon, let’s get in the tent.”

The tent is a tight fit, but Indrid couldn’t be happier. He crawls onto Duck’s chest, nestling against his fur with a sigh. 

“Now if you have bad dreams when you’re like this, you have someone to to hold.”

Duck kisses the top of his head, “Thanks, sugar.”

Indrid falls asleep atop a giant wolfman, and wakes up to the morning sun and much smaller, human man sprawled beneath him, who he wakes with a flurry of kisses. 

They make Santa Fe by noon, riding in feeling freer then either of them has in a long time. When they ride out the next morning, Indrid has a new job and Duck has a new cameraman. But all either can think about at the moment is his new boyfriend, and the future spreading out ahead of them beneath the rising sun. 

[qqueenofhades]

I know you dont watch GoT anymore. And that Braime and Sansa are your favorites. But I know you've read the books and are obviously really interested in the story. And I was just wondering what your thoughts are on the whole Jon killing Dany thing? Is that something you can see happening in the books? And if it is do you think it'd be in the same context as the show did it?

Ahaha, welp. Just jumping right in there.

(Also, you never have to apologise for asking GOT/ASOIAF questions. I obviously have been a fan for 16 years and wrote fuckin’ TNR with its half-million-plus words, so I clearly do have Thoughts on the story/characters, especially with the bag of lukewarm cat vomit that was s8 of the show.)

I already answered this ask discussing how much I hated the Mad Queen Dany thing, both because a) it was horrifically badly handled and b) these mediocre misogynist douchegobblers have managed to outdo themselves in terms of the gross messages they’ve sent about women, after 8 seasons of that. (These are the same people who made Sansa say that she was grateful for her rapes and who claimed that Dany’s turn into madness was foreshadowed by her having a “chilly” reaction to the death of her abuser, Viserys, in s1, so…. make of that what you will.) I’m not saying that it was narratively impossible, especially since GRRM has been toying with the same thing in the books and has more than his own share of Male Author Syndrome. But at the start of 8x04, Dany is in Winterfell, perfectly sane, toasting Arya as hero of the battle. By the end of 8x06, she’s crazy, a war criminal, and dead, murdered by her boyfriend, because… well, something something plot reasons. Even if you didn’t like Dany or were rooting for her to go mad or whatever, that was wildly badly handled.

I personally think it would be pretty gross for GRRM to also go down the Mad Queen route, though at least if he does, we will have had Dany’s POV chapters beforehand and presumably something resembling a justification and a building narrative momentum toward it. But she also got stuck in Meereen for so long because by his own admission he didn’t know what to do with her there or how to get her out of the situation and moved onto Westeros, which remains, theoretically, her outstanding goal in the books. It would obviously not be outside the realm of possibility for this to happen, given GRRM’s focus on “grittiness” that the show took to max factor 5000. I would still find it reductive and trying to make a Clever Postmodern Point and etc if it happened in the books, because literally why invest us in a character this long, especially one who has tried so hard to overcome the circumstances of her past/to not be her father, and then just do exactly that? Obviously there would be elements of Shakespearean tragedy to it, and if done well it could be compelling, but I personally just have a different approach to fiction and what people want out of a story (especially one now as famous as GOT/ASOIAF and how universally betrayed everyone seems to feel by the ending). I’m not saying Dany’s ultimate ending needs to be sunshine and roses and getting what she wants, because often character arcs and resolutions become all the more powerful for being subverted and thwarted (think the “I said I wanted [x] but [y] was there instead” sort of endings). But whatever it is, it needs to be…. not that.

Also, Jon in both books and especially show has been the epitome of Mediocre White Man. I stopped watching in s4, but Kit Harington’s acting was so wooden and the writing for him was very much Standard Misunderstood Brooding Fantasy Hero that I could barely pay attention to his scenes. I find him somewhat more interesting in the books, though ADWD dragged for everyone and it was obvious GRRM was writing in circles. But everyone has noticed that especially in the show, Jon does absolutely bupkis. His ass is constantly saved by the women in his life, he makes an absolute hash of any power that he is given and doesn’t want it anyway, and his ultimate ending was…. going back to the Night’s Watch (as their idea of satisfying narrative storytelling is to literally put everyone back where they were in the very first episode, apparently). Never mind the fact that there’s no need for the Night’s Watch, but the point is, even the fact that Jon is Rhaegar and Lyanna’s son ended up being relevant for like half an episode. That has been one of the major plot points/secrets of the books (although not so much anymore) and it just…. fizzled out like a damp squib. Dany actually TRIED for multiple seasons to be a good ruler and to learn how to handle power and become a queen, so for her to have to be the one to die for Jon to once again do diddlysquat is… well, as I have said before, the misogyny leaps out. They ended up wasting so much potential and so many other things that were also foreshadowed (and far more convincingly than “wah wah she was gonna go evil!”). For this? So Jon can just go brood in the snow again? Cool.

Not to mention, I find it gross on principle that Dany’s boyfriend had to be the one to kill her, especially after rape/sexual violence/loss of agency was such a big part of her early-season storylines (and how horrifyingly and grossly that has been handled on the show overall). We’re obviously supposed to sympathize with Jon in this scenario and to feel that it is justified to “stop a tyrant” or whatever. Also, if the episode was going to be called “Queenslayer,” why the fuck wasn’t it Jaime fulfilling the valonqar prophecy, another thing they forgot about, and killing Cersei, at great personal grief/cost, to once more stop an insane monarch from burning down King’s Landing? But that, of course, would be actual character development/overall arc, and they preferred to also trash that by having Jaime “killed Aerys Targaryen literally to save half a million innocent people and lived with his reputation being destroyed ever after” Lannister unironically claim that he never cared about the lives of the innocent and only wanted Cersei. After she again tried to kill him and Tyrion like three days ago, not even to mention what they did to Brienne and with that whole arc, but I will have a ragestroke if I think about it too much. 

Basically, the ending wasn’t “bittersweet.” It was tragic, reductionist, ham-handed, hugely disappointing for everyone who put years of investment into these characters, and ended up in the amusing position of making Bran Stark the younger and more beautiful queen who comes to cast Cersei down. He became king because… reasons? Whatever? And he knows literally everything about everyone thanks to being the Three-Eyed Raven, so there’s no way that can go horribly wrong. He has basically done nothing except sit in a wheelchair and look creepy for several years now, his arc has never been remotely about being king, and Isaac Hempstead-Wright himself is apparently on record as saying he genuinely thought it was a joke script when he read it. This after both Emilia Clarke and Kit Harington broke down over learning what happened to their characters/Kit apparently realized it for the first time at the read-through and was horrified. Emilia already talked about wandering for five hours and having a crisis and calling her mom and asking to be talked off the ledge like….. fictional choices/characters completely aside, that’s a gross thing to do to your actors. I know they’re all proud of their work and they have apparently and understandably been defensive about the existence of the petition to rewrite s8, but they’ve all been pretty clear, while still being professional and supportive, that there is stuff that they’re just as much WTF about as we are.

Basically, as everyone keeps saying, the acting, cinematography, visual effects, music, etc was clearly up to as high a standard as ever, but was betrayed fundamentally and comprehensively by this god-awfully shit writing by a couple of hacks who clearly rushed the final season to get on to ruining working on Star Wars. They have also been on record about saying “you can’t do what the audience expects or it’ll get boring blah blah blah,” which is a profoundly flawed storytelling strategy if you’re paranoid and trying to outsmart your audience and do something that nobody has ever thought of because you’re an Intellectual Postmodern Commentator On Our Violent Society. If your audience can guess where a story is going, but are still surprised by major twists along the way that then make sense in hindsight, you’ve done your job. If you’re relying on grimdark and cramming in gimmicky plot twists and deus ex machinas and Shocking Moments rather than authentically developing your story, it’s going to bite you in the ass in a big way, as was just proven. 

Nobody expected a completely happy ending from GoT. But the fact that they went to such lengths, especially in s8, to build up characters/ships (Jonerys, Braime, Gendrya were all torched after major canon moments completely unexpected by fans, especially the latter two – why even include it unless to just be more Tragique, and Gendrya is the only one that has even a chance in the future since half of it didn’t end up idiotically dead) and then just wrecked all of it…. as I’ve said, good endings don’t need to be rainbows and unicorns and kittens. But if you’ve asked eight years of audience investment, there has to be something that makes it worth it and that doesn’t make everyone feel like they were duped and stupid to get involved in the first place. They have been beating the “it’s a hard world and bad things happen to the characters” drum for all they’re worth, but… it’s just bad. You can analyse and ask why the hell they did things and so forth, but it’s bad. At this rate, the show should have either ended after 8x03, or they should have taken the money HBO offered and done the proper 10 episodes and let Bryan Cogman write all of them. He was the only one who appeared to remotely give a shit about the characters, and since D&D wrote the last four episodes themselves, yeah, this disaster is on them.

Fortunately, I left the show years ago and have TNR and am used to ignoring their version of things. And I knew all along that they never really got the characters or the story. But I feel really bad for everyone who has had this thrown back in their face, and it seems like a communal disenchantment with this ending is going to enter the pop-culture consciousness on a possibly unprecedented level. So if GRRM does do the Mad Queen Dany killed by Jon in the books (though he has apparently called the show’s ending “traumatic”), I’ll probably still not like it. He has a chance to sell me it on/justify it to me narratively, which the show categorically failed to do. I don’t think I will, just because as I said, I don’t like anything about it, but yes.

Anyway. This is a long post already, and I probably have more to say still, but it’s pretty obvious I think it’s just really, really bad, and that’s about the essence of it.

[the-cookie-of-doom]

“B-b-b-but Derek Hale’s a failure and a shitty leader whose only purpose in the show was to be surpassed by Trash Wolf Scoot and make the audience realize what a great, competent, superior leader and better character Trash Wolf Scoot McCall is compared to him! Derek Hale got exactly what he deserved for refusing to obey Trash Wolf Scoot, really!!!!” https://princeescaluswords.tumblr.com/post/185664990955/stans-will-excuse-dereks-actions-by-portraying

russianspacegeckosexparty *whines and screeches and froths and drowns in his own bile because Teen Wolf fans and viewers have the nerve to prefer actually compelling fictional characters over his shitty idol Scott and because his shitty idol Scott is not EVERYONE’s fav*

Shitty, entitled middle aged white man & actual harasser PEW:

There are two competing impulses here in relation to the narrative. When these impulse are combined combined they form the toxic woobification also known as “Derek Deserves Nice Things.” This is the belief that Jeff Davis tortured Derek for no other reason than his and the audience’s sadistic amusement. They miss the writers’ goal: to show that in Derek’s role as a foil for Scott, he got exactly what he deserved for allowing his painful history to control him. Derek’s failures came from his inability to manage his trauma, to separate the people who hurt him from the people who didn’t.

In Season 1 and Season 2, Derek let his fear of the Argents and his shame about his actions with Kate (and Paige) influence his actions. He didn’t trust Scott; he didn’t share information freely with Scott; he relied on anger and its attendant violence to keep him safe. It didn’t work.

(It’s noticeable that when Derek let go of the past – when he started to trust Scott, when he started sharing information with Scott, when he did things like hand out Halloween candy to children – he got nice things! Derek ended Season 4 – a season which showed him being open, friendly, trusting, and complimenting and encouraging Scott – with a sexy, protective girlfriend; revenge on his tormentor, and the inheritance of his mother’s legacy!)

The first impulse was the need to make Derek more important than Scott McCall. The thought that Derek Hale was only there for Scott to learn what not to do never even occurred to them, even though the name of the show was Teen Wolf. Derek’s aggression, violence, and lies weren’t seen by them as obstacles for Scott McCall to overcome – which they were definitely intended to be by the writers. When the narrative had Scott overcoming and surpassing Derek, they were flabbergasted. Derek was a hot white man with an incredible body and a sad backstory. To viewers weaned on television culture, he should have been the lead – or if not the lead, the controlling narrative of the show. It should be Derek’s story that took precedence. But it wasn’t!

The second impulse was, of course, Sterek. There’s nothing wrong with the ship itself, as long as the viewers realized that – no matter what the MTV PR department said – it never had a chance of happening. Regardless of subjective chemistry, Derek wasn’t going to have a romantic relationship with Stiles because it would have taken too much focus off of the actual leader and star of his own show Scott McCall/Tyler Posey. It could have happened, if the show was about Stiles or Derek, but it’s not, and having a relationship between the lead’s two foils, including one closely echoing Derek’s backstory and being illegal, would have required too much focus.

Given these two impulses, the audience had to sell themselves the story that Derek Deserved Nice Things, that he was Not a Failwolf, in order to satisfy them. So that’s why they ignored the terrible things Derek did to others, especially to his own betas – seducing Erica, hurting Isaac, withholding information from all three of them – that sent two of them running for the hills and one of them running for Scott.

Cookie: Oh my god. Oh my god this is so horrible, what the fuck. 

PEW: This is the belief that Jeff Davis tortured Derek for no other reason than his and the audience’s sadistic amusement. 

!!! That is exactly what happened. Tyler has remarked on how he had to work any scraps of backstory for Derek aside from Tall Dark and Brooding like he was trying to pull teeth. Dylan said in an interview that “Have you seen him? We have to torture him, otherwise everything is too sexy for him.” Derek was only there to be abused. And that’s fine! God knows I love a good whump, and it is a popular dynamic that one of the main characters always has to be. Think Jace Wayland from The Mortal Instruments, with his tragic backstory. Or Harry Potter, spending his childhood abused at worst and neglected at best. The only difference is, those characters got a break from the abuse, they had sanctuaries to go to and people who protected them, but Derek never did*. 

*Except, of course, for Stiles, who protected Derek even when he hated him, even when he was afraid of him. I’m not even saying in a shippy way, but the only person who consistently was there to defend Derek was Stiles. Not Scott. Scott would never do anything for Derek unless he somehow got something out of it first; how about, trying to make Derek promise not to hurt Allison before being willing to free him from Kate’s torture dungeon? This even after Derek has done nothing to hurt Allison or imply he ever would, and going so far as to take her home when Scott decided going to a party was more important than learning how to werewolf, thus putting everyone, and Allison, in danger. This even after Derek has every right to hate Allison’s family, and not go out of his way to protect her. Which he absolutely did here. 

I had to scroll back up for this, but: “the toxic woobification also known as “Derek Deserves Nice Things.”

How lacking in empathy do you have to be to think that one of the main characters deserving nice things is toxic? Derek Hale DOES deserve nice things, for fucks sake he’s EARNED them after everything he’s been through. (And, not to compare trauma because that is equally toxic, but since they seem intent on doing it anyway: Derek has been through much more and much more than Scott. He, more than anyone on the show, deserves to have a goddamn break and a little sympathy.) 

I just. I can’t even touch on that last part about Derek deserving everything he got. That is so tone deaf and blind, how did PEW even manage to watch this show? Clearly he can’t see what’s right in front of him. Derek did not deserve what he got at all. Hell, NO ONE deserve the level of unending abuse Derek was put through for the sake of whump. 

“Derek let his fear of the Argents and his shame about his actions with Kate (and Paige) influence his actions. He didn’t trust Scott; he didn’t share information freely with Scott.”

Yikes. First off, as I already said, Derek had every reason to fear the Argents. They murdered his family. Derek has no way of knowing how many of them were involved; the only one who couldn’t have been was Allison, since she was a child. But Chris? Victoria? Yeah, Derek was right to fear them. And even if you take away the death of his family, the Argents are HUNTERS. They KILL WEREWOLVES, something Scott never did manage to figure out because he was too concerned with getting his dick wet. Even going so far as to side with them in the worst moment of cinematic history, before he even knew them or had reason to defend them. Allison was a pretty girl, and Derek was telling him what her family did to his, and Scott decided the Pretty Girl won over the death of Derek’s family, children included. 

As for trusting Scott? When did Scott every prove himself trustworthy? I’m sorry, but if someone looked me in the eyes and told me that maybe my family deserved to burn alive, I wouldn’t ever trust them. There is nothing they could do to earn my trust after that. But eventually Derek comes around, showing that he is in fact a better person that I am. Because I would have thrown Scott right at the Argent’s feet for that comment, and let them see just how merciful they really are. And that isn’t even touching on how Scott lied to Allison about her mother’s pack, directly resulting in her hunting down Derek and his pack, and attempting to kill two of her classmates. Conveniently, the two people Scott had claimed to care about when it was convenient for him as a way to keep Derek from building a pack. 

“The thought that Derek Hale was only there for Scott to learn what not to do never even occurred to them.” No character’s sole purpose is to be a foil. A character may be designed as a foil, but first and foremost, they are their own character. A thought that apparently never occurred to PEW. As much as he wishes it did, the show did not revolve around Scott, and neither did the characters. Because while he was the main character, he was not it’s only character. 

“Sterek. There’s nothing wrong with the ship itself, as long as the viewers realized that  – no matter what the MTV PR department said – it never had a chance of happening.”

Once again, PEW entirely misses the point. I don’t think anyone ever genuinely believed Sterek was going to be canon. We all knew better than that, we were not yet in an age where queer relationships happen on screen for anything other than comic relief like a sideshow freak; there only briefly. They weren’t going to do that with their main characters, because then they would have to get rid of them! Like when they wrote off Danny and Ethan, and kept Mason and Corey mostly out of the picture when they were together, or when they brought back Ethan and Jackson for the very end-for no reason other than exploiting Colton coming out and getting those diversity points! (Which were very much not earned, in my opinion. It was pandering at best.) 

It wasn’t the fact that Sterek was never going to be canon that made people so angry; it was the fact that Jeff kept dangling it in front of the fandom for years, once he saw how popular it was becoming. He would talk in interviews about how much he loved the Sterek dynamic, tweet about how much he supported it, and then write barely any scenes were Stiles and Derek interacted. We knew it wasn’t going to happen, and we didn’t appreciate being mocked. 

“[...] and having a relationship between the lead’s two foils, including one closely echoing Derek’s backstory and being illegal, would have required too much focus..” 

But it wasn’t too much focus when any other characters got together? No, of course not, because other relationships didn’t challenge Scott with their popularity. It’s okay not to like a ship, but don’t be so sanctimonious about it. 

Also, illegal? Cute that he brings this up as a ‘concern’ when it comes to Sterek, but where was the outrage when they started pushing for Lydia and Parish? You know, that 24 year old cop fantasizing about showering/amking out with a 17 year old girl? I think the power dynamics with that are inherently far more problematic than little old Sterek. 

“So that’s why they ignored the terrible things Derek did to others, especially to his own betas – seducing Erica, hurting Isaac, withholding information from all three of them – that sent two of them running for the hills and one of them running for Scott.”

The tag Derek Hale Is A Failwolf currently has 569 works in it. That’s a pretty good amount, considering many people don’t get into specific tags like that. I’ve never seen anyone ignore what Derek did; and on a broad level, no one is ignoring that Derek seducing Erica was kind of gross, or that hurting Isaac was wrong. Keeping information from them wasn’t the best idea either, but Derek did it from a place of trying to protect them. They were kids, and he was their alpha; he was trying to deal with the dangers like the alpha pack on his own because he didn’t want to put them in harms way. Unlike Scott who withholds information that directly puts them in harms way (see: lying to Allison about her mother). 

Derek also hurts Isaac during training. Rough? Yes. Unnecessary? Well, I would say that depends. Derek was showing Isaac what his body was capable of doing; he could heal, something he never had before. You can’t deny that gave Isaac some new perspective and a hell of a lot of confidence, no longer afraid to be hurt. 

And then you have Scott, who disgusting abuses Isaac to assert control over him. He was not trying to teach Isaac anything, he was just angry and jealous that Isaac wanted to kiss Allison, who had broken up with Scott, and made it clear that she didn’t want him waiting for her. They. Were. Not. Together. Scott had no claim to her, he wasn’t ‘defending her honor’, he was being an asshole ex. And Isaac paid the price, getting abused by his so called alpha. And what could he do in that situation? Scott was housing him; by challenging him, Isaac would be risking getting kicked out with nowhere else to go. A great situation to put an abuse survivor in. Scott had all the power and authority in their relationship, so do not try to paint Scott as the savior that welcomed him after he was banished by the big bad Derek. 

As usual, PEW is watching a very different show than the rest of us. But it does not revolve around Scott, and it never did. The characters all had their own lives and motivations. 

And, Derek Hale does in fact deserve nice things. Especially if those nice things involve a long vacation to somewhere that has no wifi, no cell reception, and no way to  be reached by a certain self-righteous teenager, with a certain human at his side. 

[neoduskcomics]

If you didn't hear the news, 6 new episodes of Steven Universe were recently made available on the Cartoon Network app. Go watch them if you're able, and then come back here if you'd care to hear what I thought about them. SPOILERS. SPOILERS. SPOILERS.

Dewey Wins The plot in this episode is basically creating a parallel to Connie's heartbreak over Steven's actions in the last story arc and putting him in her shoes. It's not exactly the most gracefully or subtly executed story device, and I was a bit disappointed when, at the end, I realized that the entire point of it was simply to get Steven to understand why Connie was upset at the beginning of the episode (something that I'm sort of surprised wasn't immediately obvious to him).

That being said, I didn't dislike this episode. We're coming right of the heels of some of the most dramatic and loaded plot in the series, so a lot of it is really just winding down and getting everyone up to speed in the aftermath. It sort of subsists on carrying the momentum of what came before it. While the stuff with Dewey wasn't the most engaging, it was harmless, and they got a couple good jokes out of it.

I was hoping we'd see a bit more of Dewey actually dealing with the consequences of his lackluster-ness as a mayor, which we sort of did, but he didn't have a lot of time to process any of it, since the episode had to shift focus right back onto Steven's relationship issues with Connie. Hopefully, we'll see a future episode that features some actual character growth for Dewey so that this whole story wasn't just a means of getting from point A to point B. Gemcation What do you do when your son is clearly having some kind of personal problem, judging from the fact that he's constantly checking messages on his phone and all bummed out? You drag him to a vacation home that he's clearly disinterested in and try to force uncomfortable conversations about his traumatic space trip, of course. So much sound, emotional clarity going on in these episodes. Kidding aside, though, I did enjoy this one. It was amusing seeing the gems trying to figure out what was bugging Steven (and doing a comically terrible job of it). Pearl's antics got several laughs from me, and it made me feel like the comedy in this series was on point for the first time in a while. The plot wasn't outstanding, but it had a lot of good character moments. Seeing Garnet being awkward and out of her field of expertise was fun, and seeing Greg defer to the gems with helping Steven, only to reassert his role as father was nice to see. The whole cell-phone-reception-race ended predictably, but I do like that interpersonal issues in this show aren't resolved so quickly and easily. It's part of what helps the characters in this show feel like people and not just set pieces, and helps this series about magical gem warriors from outer space feel more grounded. Also, for real, though, that part with Pearl trying to talk to Steven and she kept covering her own mouth. The fuck was that. She totally killed Pink Diamond. Or she knows who killed her. Or she knows something. And someone cursed her or ordered her not to talk. Maybe Rose. Who the fuck knows. I'm sure everyone has already drawn up like fifty conspiracy theories about it. I'd prefer to just keep my mind open and let myself be surprised, but it's hard not to speculate when the show drops shit like that. Raising the Barn Say bye to Lapis, kids. I mean, you know, again. I'm sure she'll come back, but it is interesting to see such a status-quo-shifting departure happen on the show. Again, I like it when the show has these realistic turns of events. Connie's not gonna immediately make up with Steven. Lapis isn't necessarily going to stay just because Peridot wants to. Now, if I had an issue with all of this, it's probably that the way in which we arrive at these issues (or the resolutions thereof, but we'll get to that) isn't always the most interesting. Like, this episode was good, but it wasn't great. It could've done with more comedy or maybe more dialogue that was of consequence to the characters, rather than looping around the motions of Peridot very obviously avoiding the situation before finally and predictably confronting Lapis at the end. I'm not saying this episode was bad, just that it could've been better. I don't really have a whole lot to say about it other than that. Back to the Kindergarten While not one of my favorite episodes, this was a good episode for Peridot. I like seeing her really grapple with her newfound feelings of despair and distress, and trying to deal with it in an emotionally healthy way. While the sunflowers all dying was a tad predictable, it was still a well-executed plot device, and moving forward with the idea of understanding that while some parts of life will always be sad, there's always a whole world of potential happiness around you. Again, it's a more realistic message and, as a result, it feels more genuine. For there to be highs, there have to be lows. You have to work for your catharsis, and I think that's something this show mostly gets.

The last time we saw Amethyst, Peridot, and Steven hang out was the "shorty squad" episode, and I found this one to be far more interesting. Peridot doesn't simply spend the whole episode moping and then finally realizing some uplifting truth--there's an emotional mini-arc that she goes through: moving from despair to hopefullness, having that hope crushed, and then learning from the experience and finding that hope again in a different place. Moving through a range of different feelings is, I think, what makes for a more affective episode than having basically a single tone or conflict that leads you to an inevitable conclusion. Sadie Killer I think this is the first episode involving the cool kid crew that I genuinely enjoyed. There are a handful of episodes in the series are pretty much devoid of magical gem stuff, but out of all of those, this is definitely one of the better ones, if for no reason other than that it just has some great character development and progress for Sadie. For the first time, we really explore her as a person, not as she relates to Lars, but just herself. It was neat seeing her feel the weight of her monotonous and stressful life, and then finally break through and come out of her shell of her own volition—not because she was forced to in some contrived plot about how she doesn’t communicate well with her mom.

The musical number was fun and it was a great way to have Sadie let loose, doing something she enjoys and showing a side of her that you always sort of detected was there but she never just came out and expressed it. Sadie didn’t suddenly have a dark side for the sake of this episode; you’ve seen her deal with anxiety and stress and dealing with bullshit for five seasons. It’s good to finally see a culmination to all of that.

If I had an issue with this episode, it’s maybe that it just ends with her quitting the job. I would’ve liked to have seen her really deliberate over the situation, either prior to or in the aftermath of the decision, rather than simply using it as an ending revelation. But apart from that small gripe, it was a great character episode.

Kevin Party

I think this episode was a bit of a mixed bag. I think they really nailed the awkwardness of having Steven and Connie struggling to confront one another. The nervous tension is present in every scene of that episode, basically from the moment Kevin informs Steven that Connie would be at the party. Aside from that, though, the episode feels mostly like another one of those terrible “guy gets bad relationship advice from person he very obviously shouldn’t be taking relationship advice from and then inevitably screws things up before finally coming clean and being honest with himself which in return earns the trust/affection of the girl” plots. It’s played out and this story didn’t really offer anything new to the formula.

Not only that, but is Kevin just going to be a thing in every episode where Steven and Connie are having awkward relationship issues? I mean, we’ve already seen them embarrass/humiliate him for being a douche. I thought this time we might get something different. When he brings up that girl he apparently broke up with, I thought we might actually explore Kevin’s character and see why he is the way he is, and make him maybe a more complex character. But, no, we just saw him continue to be an asshat for self-gain before it blows up in his face.

Overall, I do like that we got to see Steven actually mess up in a personal matter and not just a magical destiny matter, and that’s something he really had to struggle with and learn from. At the same time, I feel like getting into that string of episodes and then leaving it was not the most gracefully executed. I’m glad that it happened, but I also sort of wish they went about it in a more interesting way, especially in a show that has frequently demonstrated, in the past, an ability to break the mold and go against the grain with its characters and storytelling.

But, you know. Connie has a cute haircut, now. So there’s that.

Overall

This was a nice chunk of episodes that left me feeling ultimately satisfied. I was expecting a string of episodes that leaned more toward the slice-of-life element of the show, but I was pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoyed them. To me, these were far superior to the slice-of-life episodes of Season 3 that I complained about. I found the plots more compelling, the characters were more engaging, and I even thought that the jokes were funnier (Steven’s oblivious napkin-stealing cracks me up).

Not to mention the fact that we’re seeing a lot of changes to the status quo. And not ones that feel like they were made just to switch things up. They all feel like logical outcomes based on what we know about the characters. Mayor Dewey was always ignorant and incompetent. Lapis was always against getting mixed up in Gem business, even Peridot at first. Sadie was always having her patience and tolerance for bullshit tested. It’s a good feeling when you have developments in your story that feel less like arbitrary sources of conflict and more like payoff to what we’ve known and felt all along.

I hope we get more episodes soon. Even if the “main plot” doesn’t advance, I just miss being in this world with these characters. This last Steven Bomb reminded me a bit of why I like the series so much in the first place. I hope we don’t end up like Steven, waiting fruitlessly for an update for days on end.

[seven-oomen]

Hi, Ben!  Hope your day is going well so far!  Congrats on the new sofa, and on getting it up the stairs (did you at any point develop the urge to start shouting “Pivot!  Pivot!” ? XD [Sorry, can’t help myself, it’s where my brain immediately went.])  My home reno I’m currently avoiding is getting my Christmas tree up.  I have managed to get the boxes out of my storage unit to my apartment, and managed to clear a (hopefully) big enough space, but I can only seem to do things in fits and spurts today before either my spoons or my focus give out for a while.

Because I have terrible impulse control, I looked at the family tree despite knowing I’d get spoiled.  (But I mean, knowing where it’ll end up doesn’t mean I know how it’ll get there, so.)  Since I did that on a break at work yesterday, it meant I got to spend a large chunk of my shift alternating between internally ferally screaming over the continuing SPN saga, and internally ferally screaming over the things I’d managed to guess correctly about future chapters and the things I didn’t see coming at all.  Gotta say, it at least helped keep me distracted during a very long, short-staffed shift.  Not gonna lie, it took me a minute to figure out the letter code in people’s names.  At first I was like, “oh, a middle initial”, then I realized it was the same few letters, and who had what, and felt like an idiot. XD  I noticed there wasn’t a (T) in Isaac’s name, and now I’m curious if he stays human, or you just haven’t added that detail yet.  (Also, Jesus, I both can’t imagine what Chris and Noah might do to Mr. Lahey, and kinda really want to see some epic smackdown at the same time.)  And holy shit, do the boys know the truth about Scott’s parentage?  Because if not that is a massive angst bomb about to drop on the three of them (because of everything that happened with Claudia).  I feel the need for a drink just thinking about it.

Also, that SPN shit is getting wilder by the day.  I think Misha may have put out some sort of video earlier about the reactions and theories, but I haven’t actually watched it to see if it’s shade or towing the party line.  I feel very “I don’t really go here, but I did do a semester abroad here and enjoyed it immensely so now I feel unwillingly invested in the outcome” about the whole thing.  I also really, REALLY want to scream at my friend who also watches about all of it, but she didn’t see the last few episodes, and is militantly anti-spoiler, so I just have to sit here and quietly vibrate with impatience until she some day sees the ending.  (Or someone else spoils it and I don’t have to take the blame. XD )

And I’m really glad you liked the story!  I was kinda worried about that one, so I’m glad its gotten so much love.  Although it’s also kinda funny to me, because it’s the one that’s most likely to cause thoughts like “oh, I could have phrased that better” or “jesus, I’ve got to stop using that word so often” when I read through it.  

So I’ve seen that Doctor Who post you shared, but never that version of it, and I love it because it is completely right about Torchwood, and also leaves out my least favorite character from the summary, who is very much like an older, female version of Scott.  Same tendency towards narcissistic arrogance, and irritating self-righteousness.  I could rant for days about it (don’t worry, I won’t. XD )  Anyway, I was very amused by the whole thing.

I feel like there were other things (there usually are), but I’ve also just remembered that I had dishes sitting in a sink full of water, and I should really probably check on those.  ’>.>  Anyway, I hope you’re feeling better, and I look forward to whatever creative outlet you eventually decide on, because it’ll be great either way.  (And if my brain lets me focus that long I’ll try to come up with some Noah headcanons for your post!)  Take care!  *Hugs to you both!*

Sup B? My day went alright I guess? Said new sofa arrived at 9 am and was big enough to completely block the doorway. And bulky enough and the stairs small enough that getting it up the stairs was a matter of trying to wrestle an object of 86 pounds up an area that is smaller than said object, on my own, while I don’t have the strength to lift it above my head. And having a turn in the stairs meant that at some point I had to slip under the couch, got stuck between the couch and the wall and couldn’t get out. Almost called 112 (911 for Dutch people) because I got so stuck it was crushing my ribs but then my phone dropped out of my pocket and I couldn’t reach it.

It was then that I remembered a trick from my days as a tree climber (from when I was a kid and climbed a lot of trees and other places), which was, arms up, tummy in. Though my goddamn boobs got in the way (I seriously want these off and I can’t wait for surgery.) And I slipped free enough to end up on the other end where I proceeded to somewhat lift the couch up enough to eventually get it on the plateau of the hallway. Where I put it on one end and scooted it into my apartment. 

But yeah that was an adventure, the couch got lightly damaged in the process and I am hurting all over. But, I succeeded. I was out of commission for the rest of the day though. Didn’t do much beside that. And I didn’t have a pivot! pivot! moment. Mostly because 1. I never really watched friends, and whenever it is on tv I quickly zap to another channel. 2. There was no room to pivot or turn it. This is a small ass stairs in a small ass house in a small ass country XD.

And hey, those are good accomplishments! You got your boxes, check 1, you cleared your space, check 2, you can be proud of that! I’m proud of you. And I’m very curious as to what your Christmas tree is going to look like ^^.

Because I have terrible impulse control, I looked at the family tree despite knowing I’d get spoiled.  (But I mean, knowing where it’ll end up doesn’t mean I know how it’ll get there, so.)  Since I did that on a break at work yesterday, it meant I got to spend a large chunk of my shift alternating between internally ferally screaming over the continuing SPN saga, and internally ferally screaming over the things I’d managed to guess correctly about future chapters and the things I didn’t see coming at all.  Gotta say, it at least helped keep me distracted during a very long, short-staffed shift.  Not gonna lie, it took me a minute to figure out the letter code in people’s names.  At first I was like, “oh, a middle initial”, then I realized it was the same few letters, and who had what, and felt like an idiot. XD  I noticed there wasn’t a (T) in Isaac’s name, and now I’m curious if he stays human, or you just haven’t added that detail yet.  (Also, Jesus, I both can’t imagine what Chris and Noah might do to Mr. Lahey, and kinda really want to see some epic smackdown at the same time.)  And holy shit, do the boys know the truth about Scott’s parentage?  Because if not that is a massive angst bomb about to drop on the three of them (because of everything that happened with Claudia).  I feel the need for a drink just thinking about it.

This is making me smile in one of those, hehehehehe gleeful ways only an author can smile in. Making my day here. And I’m glad I could provide that distraction for you. And the letter coding is (H (human), T (turned), W (Werewolf), K (Kitsune), Ban (Banshee), B (Beta, since that is basically the ‘trans’ coding), HH (Hellhound), D (druid) ) And I think that’s all of the coding I’m using right now. I didn’t fully update it yet, I generally do bits and pieces when writing something is not working but I do want to work on OUAT. So Isaac will be turned in the story, I just hadn’t added the T yet. Also not sure what I’ll keep on Chris just yet. Still debating on that one.) Some of the names might also still change. (as in baby boom #2 to keep it easy) 

And Mr. Lahey, oh he’s gonna get it. Isaac is just gonna be unofficially adopted into the family even before he ends up with the person he ends up with. (hopefully that’s vague enough for tumblr XD)

Everybody loves Isaac, Kyra, and Lydia. Scott though, well, he needs to grow and convince the people around him, especially the person he ends up with. That’s gonna be something of a road trip too. 

And no, neither the young generation or our boys know about Scott’s parentage. Peter has always suspected, but Mel never wanted to confirm it. When Noah learns, when Stiles, Malia and Scott learn.. Shit’s gonna hit the fan again. I already bought an extra bottle of wine to write it.

Yeah man, I can barely keep up with the rollercoaster that is SPN right now. But it’s SO compelling! Omg! I haven’t cared about this show in three years and suddenly it’s all back in my life and I don’t know how to feel. I honestly stopped watching again after they killed off Gabriel for the second time, and never got back into it. Until now. jfc.

I honestly loved it and despite it being 3 am when I read it I can still very clearly recall what happened and still smile. Which is a very good thing! I actually have your first fic open in a tab rn and once my brain wants to cooperate again, I’ll read that too because I honestly just really love your writing. You’re really good at it! Also remind me to rec all of your fics, I think I forgot that last night but I meant to. And sorry for the rambling, despite my day it is once again 2 am XD.

Hope your day has been going well too! I’ve almost finished recording all the needed episodes from Season 1 to start giffing for OUAT and will let you know when I can start posting. Hope your dishes went well too, and let me know if you have any headcanons, would love to hear them <3.

Now I am turning in though, I’m starting to fall asleep. Take care and lots of hugs from me and Mo. <3

[slowlyentangled]

Entranced 2017: Seven Deadly Sins

WARNING:  The demonstration I'm about to describe might not be for everyone.  If you're not into horror, feelings of fear, despair, that sort of thing, you might not want to read my recap.  

"Not yet..."

On the first day of Entranced, the first class I went to was Crafting Musical Inductions run by @digitalswitchgamine and @enscenic.  Coming into this convention, I was always curious about how I could work music into my inductions.  I love to sing but was never sure exactly how to make it work.  The class was informative and gave me a lot of ideas to try including using scales to drop people into trance, bring them back up and even use going up and down those scales to fractionate.  They demonstrated how to use musical instruments in similar ways and at one point brought out one tool that in the past has been kryptonite for me, a metronome, though it wasn't kept on long enough for me to fall under.  With some volunteers, they also demonstrated sort of a human xylophone with people in trance singing out notes as they get hit on the head with a soft version of mallets.  It was fun to watch.

I felt like I learned a lot from their class and was really looking forward to their second class/demonstration the next day, Musical Hypnotic Journeys: 7 Deadly Sins.  According to the program description, this was how “different pieces of music can affect your mental state as they lead you on a hypnotic journey through a range of emotions inspired by the classic 7 deadly sins”.  The class came with warnings that it could be emotionally turbulent and had strong D/S themes that put the participants in the submissive role.  The latter had me a bit worried because I wanted to limit the amount of submissive experiences I had at my first con for personal reasons, but the curiosity was too much for me and I had to give this one a try!  It also helped alleviate my concerns that they very thoroughly went over safety concerns and consent about touching beforehand and giving anyone in the room the option to “tap out” if it became too intense.  What did I have to lose?

I will be honest that some of my recollection of what happened during this journey may be a bit off, but I will try to do my best to describe what I experienced, especially what emotions and sensations were going through me at different points of the demonstration.  I tried describing this experience in person to other people but it was hard to organize all of my thoughts about it and I think it came off as pretty confusing.  It took me a good while to process what happened after.  

There were approximately 20 to 25 participants all arranged in a circle with their chairs spaced out well enough that @digitalswitchgamine and @enscenic could weave their ways around us in any way they desired.  In the middle of the room, @tennfan2 was doing tech and acting as an assistant, playing the music from a laptop while keeping an eye on anyone in the room that may have a bad reaction to the experience.  The set up was very well thought out.

The journey started slowly as the music started playing and the voices of the hypnotists began to lull us all down.  The induction included getting the subjects to think back about how they first got into the hypno fetish, remembering some of the first audio files they heard for example.  This helped me remember one of the first audio files I ever heard, being slowly wrapped into a cocoon in a spider’s web.  Being slowly, gradually trapped is one of my favourite submissive fetishes so it was a very pleasant thing to think of as I was led into trance.  I wasn’t aware at that moment how intense that theme would come into play as the journey went on.

The music ranged from being very creepy to downright suspenseful, but it was also perfect for this experience because it varied in volume, drama and intensity, helping create a roller coaster ride effect.  The opening of the soundtrack set the mood up so effectively as I remembered the experience of being entangled in a web by the lovely voice of a hypnotist.  The combination of the music and the voices of the hypnotists walking around the room, sometimes weaving in and out of the chairs, in front of, behind you, all around you was very effective.

The whole idea of the journey, that I can remember clearly at least, is that you are hypnotically compelled to travel to a place where you can find this hypnotist.  As if being reminded of my fetish of being slowly trapped wasn't enough, the fantasy of being hypnotically abducted only intensified the experience!  I was led to get on a train to begin this long journey to where the hypnotist lived.  People got on and off the train as I continued to be so focused on reaching my destination.  I remember being jostled a bit as people got on and off but it didn't stop me from staying true to the goal.  I was completely focused on where I wanted and needed to go.  The vision and even sounds in my head of traveling on a train added to the hypnotic feeling and definitey dropped me deeper into the fantasy.  After getting off the train, I walked to a house, through the door and into a waiting room where I was forced to wait my turn to see the hypnotist.  There were sounds coming from the other room, telling me that the hypnotist was working with someone before it was my turn.  I heared moans, screams, other sounds coming from that room and the suspense of being next in line grew more and more intense.  Waiting eagerly, I think it was very possible that this was where I started hearing the evil phrase, "Not yet".

From this point on, it is impossible to remember the exact sequence of how things happened.  I couldn't tell you the order of when the sensations, both mentally and physically, hit me.  All I can tell you is that every one of them hit me hard and got me more and more lost deeply into the experience.  It got even more wild when I opened my eyes in the middle of the session, still feeling completely immersed in the story but also experiencing it like a hypnotic session with two hypnotists circling around the room at the same time.  I could see all of the other people reacting to what was happening and that energy affected me more.  I could see @tennfan2 in the middle of the room amazed at some of the reactions he saw happening around him.  I could see the carpet which was a spiral like pattern and it seemed to be moving around to me like I was tripping on a drug.  There was just so much happening as I was going through all the emotional turbulence.  It was a thrilling feeling.  There was just so much happening to me with my eyes open that I can't really put it into words where my head was.  It was chaotic.  Made worse...so much worse every time one of the hypnotists said "Not yet..."

I felt so many different things as the journey continued its slow torment toward the climax.

I felt pleasure.  Mind blowing pleasure.  Pleasure at each touch.  Pleasure at hearing the voices.  Pleasure in the anticipation.  I wanted release which would be denied with those evil words..."Not yet..."

I felt physical sensations more intense than I can ever remember.  I shivered uncontrollably at one point.  I definitely squirmed and struggled.  And a slight touch from either of the hypnotists, whether it was a touch of the hair, a massage of the shoulders or lifting up my chin, and my body responded with an instant euphoric pleasure.  And I just wanted more...But again..."Not yet..."

I felt greedy.  Especially for more and more of the pleasure and physical sensation.  I HAD to have it.  I was begging to have more.  I was demanding for more of that pleasure!  Give me more of that pleasure, please!  I just HAVE to have it.  I NEED it. "Not yet..."

I felt resistance.  There was a mantra introduced and for a good deal of the time, I found myself fighting not to repeat it.  Can't let this happen!  There was a thrilling fight to try and keep some semblance of control.  I may have ended up repeating it quietly though at some point late in the session when things got very intense.  And I have no doubt it added to the pleasure.  Again..."Not yet..."

I felt intense fear.  I was trapped.  I felt like I couldn't escape.  There were moments of thinking, oh my god, what is going to happen to me, in this room with this hypnotist I mindlessly seeked out?  I've got to get out of this!  Why am I here?  I was about to cry at one point.

I felt anger.  When the music got more loud, I was furious.  Angrily thinking, "you can't do this to me!"  This was when my eyes were open and I recall looking at @tennfan2 in the middle of the room thinking "aren't you going to fucking do something about this?"  He just kept looking on amused by the intensity of everyone's reactions.

I felt helpless.  When I was feeling anger, I was in my chair and wasn't able to do anything about it.  I wanted to yell but couldn't find my voice.  When I was resisting, it felt like it was just a matter of time until I lost.  When I was greedy, I couldn't get what I wanted no matter how much I wanted it.  There was no escape in so many ways.

I felt lost.  At one point during a slower part of the music.  I remember being very still, pretty much paralyzed.  This was after a period of intense pleasure and I think I went through a phase where I just felt nothing.  Just mindless and sitting there.  It is hard to recall much of this phase of the journey.

I felt anticipation.  When my eyes were closed, I could hear both of their voices and when they were getting close, knowing that they'd come by and touch my hair or my shoulders, it was unbearably frustrating and suspenseful.  My body was leaning eagerly toward the voices whenever they got closer and when they started to move away, my body would lean toward them hoping they'd stay and tease more.  Please tease more!  When my eyes were open and I could actually see them coming near, it was also very intense.  I looked at them and desperately begged them for more and for release.  Also added to the anticipation again, the torment..."Not yet".  "Just not yet."

I felt submission.  I was begging.  I'm pretty sure I said the word please so much that I was wearing it out.  Especially whenever they got close, touched me, circled around me, whispered to me.  My hands are shivering typing this part out...I wanted to give in completely...but "Not yet."  "Just not yet."

People around me were on their knees.  I didn't fall to my knees but there damn sure was a strong compulsion to.  After hearing that teasing phrase..."Not yet" more times than was bearable, the session ended with an orgasm command.  One of the hypnotists would go around to each participant, put a hand on their shoulder and say "CUM".  I can't totally remember who it was, but when I was given the command, she teased whispering it into my ear before walking off to the next person cruelly leaving me with a feeling of ultimate desperation before coming back and giving me the command.  Whoever did that to me, all I can say is that I love you and hate you at the same time.  The amazing part about it was I couldn't decide if I was happy that I was given the command or if I actually wanted to be left to suffer for longer.  Yikes.

I had a mental orgasm that I didn't realize was possible.  Especially considering I was in a room full of people.  Of course, then there was a long, dramatic pause as that orgasm was fading before THE ENTIRE ROOM WAS GIVEN THE COMMAND TO HAVE ANOTHER ONE.  And yeah...the second one was even better!  

This experience can be best described as an interactive horror/suspense movie.  The amazing thing about it is that I wouldn't be surprised if other participants had completely different reactions to it that I had.  I'm sure it is a different thing to each person which is absolute genius!  To me, this was hypnosis as performance art.  This was hypnosis as theatre.  It was amazing.  I still shiver a bit thinking about it.

I have a long history with submission and this easily is one of my favourite submissive experiences, if not my favourite ever.  Thank you to @enscenic, @digitalswitchgamine and @tennfan2 for such an amazing experience!

[the-desolated-quill]

Planet of The Apes - Review Of The Planet of The Apes blog

(SPOILER WARNING: The following is an in-depth critical analysis. if you haven’t seen this movie yet, you may want to before reading this review)

Planet Of The Apes could so easily have become yet another tacky sci-fi B-movie, merely coasting on the novelty of a world where the roles of apes and humans had been reversed. But what made it stand out and what allowed it to stand the test of time was the intelligent allegory and social commentary that was at the very core of the story.

Since its release, the original Planet Of The Apes has received a lot of critical acclaim. In fact, on the back of the box of my DVD copy of the film, it’s described as ‘a legendary masterpiece!’ Now while I do enjoy Planet Of The Apes immensely and agree that it’s a very good movie, I wouldn’t go so far as to call it a masterpiece. There are some problems with it, mostly in the opening scenes.

A spaceship crash-lands on an unknown planet after a long deep space voyage. Due to the time dilating effects of light speed, the crew have only aged 18 months when in reality they’ve been traveling for over 2000 years. How we managed to build a faster than light spaceship in the year 1972 is never explained, and perhaps that’s for the best. The trouble is its a lot of exposition to suddenly dump on the viewer right out of the gate. There’s no slow build up or anything and I did find it a little bit jarring. It’s not helped by the clunky dialogue at the beginning that tries to instil a sense of wonder into the audience about space travel, but nowadays just comes across as a little bit silly.

Once we get down to the planet, the opening scenes are tediously slow. For example there’s one scene where one of the astronauts finds life and tells the others to come to him, at which point we spend a full minute watching the characters run down a mountain to meet him. Couldn’t we have just cut straight to them meeting him? Why did we need to watch that? In fact a lot of Franklin J. Schaffner’s direction seems a bit off in the opening scenes. There’s one moment where the main character Taylor, played by Charlton Heston, talks about the fact that the world they knew is long gone, followed by a long scene of them walking across landscapes before being chased by large boulders, which leads into another scene where Taylor talks to the other two astronauts about the exact same topic again. Another scene is when one of the astronauts plants a little American flag in the dirt, despite the fact that America as we know it doesn’t exist anymore. It’s a genuinely touching and amusing moment that got a little bit of a chuckle out of me. But then it cuts to Taylor letting out a huge belly laugh and a bizarre shot where the camera pans into Charlton Heston’s teeth (not even his face, his teeth). Um... okay. It’s not that funny and what’s the significance of Charlton Heston’s teeth?

While we’re on the subject of Charlton Heston, he’s by far the weakest part of this movie. His performance is incredibly wooden and the way he delivers his, admittedly cheesy, lines leaves a lot to be desired. It says a lot that Heston becomes infinitely more watchable when he becomes mute. The character of Taylor himself isn’t all that interesting or well developed, but to be fair his only real role is to act as the audience cipher as we explore the planet of the apes, with most of the characterisation going to the more compelling ape characters (so the apes were more fleshed out than the humans even back then I see. I guess some things never change). But it would have been nice if we could have been given some reason to care for Taylor and his predicament other than because he’s the main character. When he discovers the fates of his fellow astronauts later in the movie, we should feel some sense of loss, but because we never really got to know them, I didn’t feel a thing.

Something that really hasn’t aged well is the film’s attitude to women. Sure we get the ape zoologist Zira, but we also get Nova. A mute human female who’s unceremoniously bundled into the same cage as Taylor’s in the hopes that they will mate. Nova’s character never gets any real growth or development and is basically there just to serve as eye candy. A wide eyed innocent in scantily clad clothing to appeal to the male gaze, and she’s mute so we don’t have to listen to her talk while we’re jerking off to her. Taylor himself exists partially to act out a male power fantasy and there’s a very uncomfortable moment where Taylor talks about a female astronaut called Stewart (who dies near the beginning of the film and is unconscious in the one scene she’s in) and how she’s basically only there so the male astronauts can have sex with her and repopulate whatever planet they find themselves on. Sigh. Don’t you miss the 60s?

But while there are a few problems, they’re completely overshadowed by how good the rest of the movie is. When Taylor and the astronauts finally come across the scarecrows, the tension and intrigue builds considerably. And then things really get exciting when the apes show up.

While the original ape makeup doesn’t hold a candle to the motion capture technology they’re using in the current movies, it’s really good for its time and holds up tremendously well even now. At no point did I ever feel like I was watching an actor in an ape costume. These were walking, talking apes. It also helped that the actors playing them really committed to their roles and gave extremely good performances. Roddy McDowall, Kim Hunter, Maurice Evans and others all do an exceptional job of acting through all of that makeup to create believable characters.

It’s truly fascinating to explore this ape society. There’s an established hierarchy and caste system with gorillas acting as the warriors and soldiers, chimpanzees as the scientists and orangutans as the politicians. The attention to detail is impeccable. All the stuff about the Sacred Scrolls is interesting and we get to visit locations such as an ape church and a museum filled with stuffed humans. You can tell a lot of thought has been put into how this society is constructed and organised. What’s even better is that the film doesn’t keep us at arm’s length. By getting to know characters like Cornelius and Zira (played by McDowall and Hunter respectively) and seeing them navigate this complex hierarchy whilst trying to get their own controversial scientific theories heard, we get to delve deeper into this world and actually form an emotional connection with its denizens. I really cared about the fate of Cornelius and Zira and was devastated when they were tried for heresy at the end, despite the fact that they proved that their hypothesis about intelligent man preceding intelligent ape right.

Which brings me to the most memorable and well executed part of Planet of The Apes. Its allegorical elements. There are a lot of ways you can interpret Planet of The Apes. The most obvious being its Cold War themes where its revealed at the end that this was in fact Earth all along and that nuclear war was what caused society to turn upside down. Another theme you can extrapolate is that of race. The scenes where apes on horseback capture humans are reminiscent of how white people viewed and treated black people during the height of the slave trade, as is the declaration that men have no rights during Taylor’s hearing. And considering that this movie was released in the 60s where the black civil rights movement was at its peak, its hard not to make the comparisons. Scenes depicting Taylor’s treatment in ape custody displays examples of animal cruelty, with the use of role reversal criticising how we view animals. But by far the most predominant theme is the relationship between faith and science. Or rather the juxtaposition of faith and science, as the film demonstrates that, as much as we try, the two cannot be reconciled.

The ape society is very much theological. Its Minister of Science, Doctor Zaius (played by Maurice Evans), is undoubtedly a religious figure, believing in the Sacred Scrolls without question and in many ways representing the stubborn and archaic nature of religion. Just like with the Bible and the Qur’an, the Sacred Scrolls are viewed as absolute. The divine truth. Any evidence that contradicts this is censored, as we see when Zaius rubs out the message Taylor wrote in the sand, when he has one of the astronauts lobotomised and when he crumples up the paper aeroplane that Taylor made to prove that flight is actually possible. There’s no flexibility or willingness to accept new ideas, as proved during Taylor’s hearing when Cornelius tries to tell the orangutans about his hypothesis that intelligent man preceded intelligent ape, to which they respond by posing as the three wise monkeys. This obviously parallels with the ‘controversial’ theory that mankind evolved from apes and how religions view this even today. Even now there are parts of the world, including certain states in America, that refuse to accept, teach or even acknowledge evolution despite the fact that at this stage the evidence in support of evolution is overwhelmingly strong.

Zaius makes for a very compelling antagonist as we learn that he knew the truth all along, but insists on keeping the apes in the dark and even blows up the cave with the talking doll because he knows that humanity destroyed this world and fears that apes may follow a similar path should they follow in humanity’s footsteps. The best villains are the ones that don’t see themselves as the villains. Zaius believes that he’s the apes protector. That by keeping them in blissful ignorance about the truth of their origins, he can prevent a similar fate happening to his own kind. This movie demonstrates why religion can be incredibly dangerous. By standing in the way of scientific progress and clinging on to archaic and flat out incorrect beliefs, he is in fact holding his society back.

Oh and I guess we should quickly talk about the ending. While the reveal is somewhat robbed of its impact by Charlton Heston melodramatically shouting to the heavens (why couldn’t they just let the image speak for itself?) and because we all know what the twist is now to the point where they put the end scene on the front of the bloody DVD, the image of the Statue of Liberty on the beach is still very powerful and evocative.

It’s not perfect by any means. As I said, the opening is a tad flawed and there are some aspects of it that really haven’t aged well, but nonetheless Planet Of The Apes is still a pretty damn good movie that has a lot of intelligent things to say about our society even today. 

Not quite a masterpiece, but still an undisputed classic.

[emulatingrizal-blog]

Jane

A short story by BCLL (2015-46079)

PLOT OUTLINE

I. Exposition A. Jane, a 26 year-old woman, is the only daughter of Tomas and Lerma and they live in a humble house in Pasig. B. Jane works at a lifestyle parlor in Makati at which she is hailed and awarded as one of the best employees the establishment has ever had.      1. She is very good at her work that she receives many requests of assistance from regulars.      2. She is so good that she has gained an admirer who has been persistently pursuing her: Robert James. C. Robert James gains, after a long time, the trust of Jane that they have grown as confidantes, both professionally and personally.

II. Rising Action A. Jane’s parents receive a letter from the mail at the beginning of September. B. Jane discovers that she is adopted from an overheard discussion between her parents, Tomas and Lerma. C. Jane seeks Rob’s counsel as he is, coincidentally, a lawyer and asks him to help her uncover the truth about her parents.

III. Climax A. As he investigates, Rob finds out that his father, Dante James, is the reason for Jane to be separated from her biological parents. B. After much thinking, Rob decides to tell Jane everything he found out about her parents and his father even though he knows what it will do to their friendship.

IV. Falling Action A. Jane receives the inheritance that her biological parents had left her after their death. B. Jane decides to go back to her parents and talk things through. C. Jane and Rob remain very good friends.

V. Resolution Because Rob helped her uncover the truth and was very honest with her about everything, he and Jane are still very good friends. Jane keeps him close as he had changed her life for the better.

-------

Jane

It was a quarter past six in this Thursday morning of July as Jane knocks on the door of her parents’ room.

“Ma, I’m heading out now. Jessica called earlier and told me I needed to be at the shop by 7 a.m. because Mr. James scheduled an urgent appointment and, as usual, asked for me. I have to go now if I don’t want to be late. There’s breakfast on the table. Please eat with papa. He’s out in the garage, washing the car. Again.”

“Okay, take care of yourself, sweetheart.”  

“I will, bye! Love you!”

Jane passed by her father before she left the house.

“Bye pa. See you later. There’s food on the table, ok?”

Jane is a 26-year-old woman who works at one of the beauty salons in Makati. She lives with her parents, Tomas and Lerma, and older sister Jessica. She has a knack in being a manicurist and masseuse, but her ultimate dream is to enroll at a fashion design school. She is working tirelessly to earn enough for her education.

As Jane got to the end of her street where she always hails a tricycle to ride to work, she heard her name being called out somewhere nearby. As she found the source of the shouting, she saw Mr. Robert James, or Sir Rob as he is called at the salon, waving at her from his parked car a couple of houses down from where she was standing. It looked like Sir Rob had been waiting for her to come by.

“Good morning, Jane! How are you? Are you on the way to work?”

“Good morning, too, sir. Uh…yes I am.”

“Perfect! I’m going there now, too. C’mon, hop in!”

“Oh, sir, that won’t be necessary. I can go on my own. I’ll just meet you there.” And Jane caught the next vacant tricycle, leaving Sir Robert, surprisingly, smiling as he watched Jane ride off.

Once in the salon, she started to prepare for today’s business, starting with Sir Rob’s appointment. Usually, he asks for a mani-pedi cleaning and, on special occasions, a foot and body massage. What Jane did not understand was why he always asked for her when there were more experienced and talented employees in the salon.

Today went by as a blur after Sir Rob’s appointment. She had two more customers after before she went for a break. While she ate, she could hear the usual snipes of Jessica, her boss and sister, to her friends. Tomas and Lerma helped Jessica put up her own business. When the business started, it was only a two-roomed unit, but, now, it has expanded to a loft-type place, where more customers and services could be accommodated. Despite her loathe against Jane, Jessica was forbidden by their parents to fire her sister because, they said, they had to be a team. No power against her parents’ bequest, her hatred comes in all forms except her utmost desire of expulsion.

Throughout the entire months of July to August, Robert would schedule appointments with Jane just to see her. At first, it was once a week. Now, he has come by thrice a week since. He means no harm, he says, but Jane cannot help but feel uncomfortable. Only when September rolled in did something change between them.

Two weeks into the month of September on a Wednesday morning, Jane woke up because of frantic voices in the kitchen. Jane got up from the bed to investigate. Jane heard her parents discussing about a letter they received in the mail earlier that month. She heard them say that it was time to open the letter. By their voices, Jane could tell that the piece of envelope they were holding was making them nervous, at the same time, reassured. By the time her father had finished reading the letter aloud, Jane did not realize heavy tears were falling from her eyes. It was because she found out that Tomas and Lerma were not her biological parents, that she was adopted, that she was living a life of lies.

It seemed that Jane had no other choice, but to talk to what seems like her only friend at the moment: Robert. His appointments turned lunch reservations turned walks around the business park of Makati. During these sessions, Jane talked about what she had overheard from her parents, her feelings, and her options. As it turned out, Robert is a licensed lawyer and offered his counsel and assistance over Jane’s case. He felt compelled to help her because they have grown a lot closer over the past few months and adopted a different kind of care for her.

So, he set out to investigate on her case. As he did, he immediately found trails and little pieces of the puzzle. As it turned out, Jane’s case was pretty famous for an issue of adoption. While he did this, Jane confronted her parents.

On the night of September 16, Jane found her parents in the kitchen sitting with Jessica. They were discussing future plans for the beauty salon.

“Err…hi. Jess, can I talk to mom and dad for a second, please?”

“Go away, Jane. Can’t you see we’re discussing something important here?”

“Jess, please. Mom, dad? Can I talk to you for a second?”, Jane says with more conviction, tears streaming her eyes. This her parents saw and asked Jess to leave for a while. Jessica looked pointedly at Jane as if she was the worst thing that happened to her.

“Jane, honey, what is it? Is something wrong?”, her dad asked.

By this time, tears were definitely rolling down Jane’s cheeks. “I don’t know how to tell you this…”

“It’s okay, honey. Is this about work? Or is it about school? Come, sit here. That’s what we were talking to Jess about. We were discussing your enrollment next semester at the fashion school you’ve been dreaming about!”

“Mom, dad. I heard you talking in here the earlier this week. Yo-you were holding a-a-a letter in your hands. Something that happened 24 years ago.”

Tomas and Lerma were speechless. They did not know what to do. Or say.

“Oh, sweetheart…”

“When were you planning to tell me? Never? If you didn’t want me to know at all, why didn’t you wait ‘til everyone was out of the house? HOW COME YOU DIDN’T TELL ME? Mom, dad, please. Just tell me the truth, no excuses. No more lies!!”

“Honey, calm down please”, Tomas said. “Here, have a glass of water. We’ll tell you everything. Why don’t we start from the very beginning, hmm?”

And they did. Jane was the daughter of the late Edgar and Malou Reyes, who were both lawyers during their time. Tomas and Lerma were a part of their big household help in their house in Antipolo as driver and cook, respectively. Jane’s birth was a surprise to the whole household as Edgar and Malou were already in their 40s when they had her. Everyone adored Jane because she brought so much laughter and joy into the house.

When Jane was two years old, little did she and the household help know that Edgar and Malou was involved at a very controversial lawsuit at the firm they worked but Tomas and Lerma could not recall specifically which. The controversy was so toxic to the point of murder threats here and there that Edgar and Malou decided that it was best for Jane to be sent away. They, then, requested Tomas and Lerma to take her into their custody as it was no longer safe for all of them. At this time, Tomas and Lerma had a three year-old little girl. Yes, it was Jessica. So, they fled Antipolo and returned to their house in Pasig. Until now, no mention of Edgar and Malou was dropped ever again. Unfortunately, the old couple died at a car crash and Tomas and Lerma never knew what had happened with their lawsuit, whether they had won or lost.

After a few moments of silence, Jane cautiously asked, “So, what was that letter?”. Tomas and Lerma looked at each other.

“Honey, it came from the lawyer who handled the case of your parents.”

The next day, Jane and Robert was scheduled to meet over lunch. Rob was very rattled at this point from the things he found out in his investigation and was not too thrilled to see Jane. Rob saw Jane from the window of the restaurant they were to meet with. He looked at her with so much sadness and weight that he did not realize Jane was waving at him with her phone at her ear. Apparently, she was trying to reach his cellphone as he was not responding physically. Rob, to Jane’s amusement, picked up the phone.

“Rob, what are you doing inside? Come to the aircon!” Jane said with lightness. But Rob, could see right through her: pale face, swollen eyes with dark circles under, puffy cheeks.

“I’m coming.”

As they ate, Jane could see that Rob was nervous. “Spit it out, Rob. Is there something you want to tell me?”

Rob looked her in the eyes and said, “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry, Jane. If it weren’t for me, you’d still be with your parents. If it weren’t for me…”

Jane looked at him with confusion. As it turned out, her biological parents worked at the firm Rob’s father owned, Dante Firms. Dante James was a powerful man. Until now. That is where Rob works.

“No, it can’t be. I-I have to go. I’m sorry.” And Jane rushed out of the restaurant, leaving Rob with his hands covering his face. Jane and Rob did not talk for a few weeks. Not until Rob marched into the salon one November afternoon because Jane was not picking up her phone or acknowledging his emails.

“Jane. I don’t care if you don’t want to talk, let alone see. But I found the lawyer from my father’s firm who was at the opposition from your parents. I’ve got big news.”

It turned out that her parents were innocent and that Dante James tampered with some evidences because he did not like losing. Rob said that Edgar and Malou were close to winning, but Dante James acted faster and used lots of money to win no matter what.

“So, what do you think the letter my parents received contained?”, Jane asked.

“I don’t know. Do you want to find out?”

And Rob drove Jane back to her house where they found Tomas and Lerma sitting at the porch.

“Mom, dad. Can I read the letter?”

As promised, the letter read that Edgar and Malou were innocent and it has been 12 years ago today. There was also a will with inheritance that was left in the care of their lawyer. The lawyer wrote that it had taken a long time to find Jane as they could not track Tomas and Lerma anywhere.

“Honey, we’re sorry. We were afraid that if you found out about all these things, you’d leave us! We can’t imagine a life without you, sweetheart. Please forgive us.”

“Rob, how do we go from here?”

Rob helped Jane track the lawyer who sent the letter down. They retrieved all her inheritance, including the house in Antipolo. To show gratitude and ask for forgiveness, Jane brought her entire family to come live in her house in Antipolo. As for Rob, well, they still continue seeing each other as Jane is very thankful for his help, because without him, she would not have been able to do the right things.

[catty-words]

🐜 Rebecca/Nathaniel, if you're feelin' it.

send me an emoji & a pairing and i’ll write you a short fic? [except please don’t, i’m not writing any more of these] - 🐜 (freaking cause there’s a bug pls deal with it im not touching it)

title: that silly girl, she’s all wound up [1/3]summary: “I posit that in a week’s time, I’ll have you, A, admitting that you still believe in love; and B, begging me to kiss you.”

Nathaniel learns that Rebecca’s a little more deeply wounded by what happened with Josh than she lets on and decides to do something about it.Word Count: 2,300Author’s Note: @bethanyactually has my gratitude forever for both betaing this story and being my friend.This first section is kind of a cross between a chapter and a prologue – next week’s installment is over three times the length, no exaggeration. It also might be the funniest non-crack!fic I’ve written to date, so good things are on the horizon!Who else is looking forward to season 3 with all their might?

(ao3)

~~~

“Bunch, I need you to stay over today.” Nathaniel slaps a couple files down on the counter above Rebecca’s cubicle, knowing it’ll earn him an annoyed huff.

“Why?”

“How about because I’m your boss and I said so?”

She quirks a challenging brow at him. “Just for that, I’m leaving an hour early.”

Though his glare would send a lesser employee into groveling mode, Rebecca meets his eye with fierce determination. They stay locked in a staring competition until Paula clears her throat.

“Actually, I need that Harvard-and-Yale brain of yours on the junkyard dispute,” he explains, shooting a sheepish look in Paula’s direction. “That is, unless you’re not feeling up for it.”

She scoffs. “Oh, please. I’m the most up for it. One might say I’m uppity.”

Paula lets out an amused cough, but Nathaniel decides not to touch that one.

“Great. I’ll see you in the conference room at 6:30 sharp.”

“I’ll be there. With my A game. In fact, I already have a proposal typed up and ready to go.” Rebecca pats a thick, lime green binder that’s sitting on her desk.

He smirks. “So do I.”

“I bet mine’s better.”

“I bet it’s not.”

“Oh, it is so on.”

Again, Paula clears her throat, only this time it’s just to cover her spitting out the word disgusting.

Nathaniel throws her a warning scowl before he walks away. He can’t help glancing back at Rebecca from across the office, though. The binder is open on her desk, and she’s quietly reading her work to herself.

He almost smiles softly, but her head snaps up—probably sensing his eyes on her—and he quickly fixes his features into more of a leer.

She sneers back, flashing him the thumbs up.

When her attention is focused back on her proposal, Nathaniel darts toward his office.

He should probably proofread his work again before their meeting.

~~~

There are a lot of words Nathaniel would use to describe Rebecca Bunch. Buxom. Intense. Pathetic.

But one of his newfound favorites is competitive.

No matter what Miss ‘I Hated the Ivy League Circuit I’m So Glad To Be Keeping It Breezy In So-Cal’ says, it’s in her blood to rise to the challenge. He had discovered this intriguing personality trait during an otherwise uninteresting afternoon at a pre–client-meeting prep session.

“You’re planning to suggest they settle?” Rebecca had asked him incredulously. “That’s terrible practice.”

“Part of being a good lawyer is knowing when to tell your clients their case is a lost cause. Sometimes the smartest thing you can do is back down.”

“What, are we in a John Grisham novel? You do remember we primarily practice real estate law, right? The stakes aren’t high enough to merit backing down.”

Nathaniel had rolled his eyes and pushed out of his seat to find a file in the cart by the window.

“Ah!”

Rebecca had appeared at his side in an instant. “What? What’s wrong?” He had pointed wordlessly at the stink bug crawling across the glass and she cocked her head at him. “Are you serious right now?”

“Mock later, kill now.”

“You’re afraid of bugs?”

“A bug,” Nathaniel had clarified. “The brown marmorated stink bug.”

“But they’re essentially harmless,” Rebecca had said. “The only thing they do is smell bad, and that’s only if you kill them.” When he’d squinted quizzically at her, she’d shrugged. “I went through an entomology phase as a kid. It ended when my mother confiscated all the books I got from the library, saying something about how she didn’t go through the agony of childbirth to have me grow up to be a glorified exterminator. But I still learned a lot. Seriously, it’s best to just leave these guys alone.”

He’d shaken his head. “Nope, no, I’m sorry but I can’t trust any insect that’s dressed for battle. It’s shaped like a shield because it’s ready to fight. They’re evil, okay? Evil.”

Rebecca had smiled a dangerous smile then. “You’re really not gonna give this up, are you?”

“What part of evil do you not understand? These things are the Voldemort of the insect world.”

She’d made a funny face at him. “They’re probably more on the Draco Malfoy side of evil. You know, misunderstood…spurred on by societal expectations.”

“So you admit they’re at least a little bit evil,” Nathaniel had said, inching away from the window as the bug crawled higher.

“No, I was just fixing your metaphor.”

“Would you please kill it already?” He had snapped.

“I could…” she’d said, drawing out the o, “or we could have a little fun.” He’d kept his eyes on the stink bug, waiting for her to spit it out. “How about we look it up, and if I’m right, I get to take the lead with the clients. We’re not throwing out that case.”

He’d spared her an annoyed glance. She’d had her arms crossed over her chest and was already wearing a triumphant expression. Not for the first time, he’d noticed the dark circles under her eyes and the way all her smiles were slightly off. He’d felt a pang of worry in his chest.

With an exasperated sigh, he’d said, “If we find out that I’m right, you’re killing this bug.”

She’d held out her hand, ready to close the deal.

Needless to say, Nathaniel had spent the entirety of the meeting silent, watching the stink bug when it was in sight and only half paying attention to Rebecca working over their client.

But—despite the hit he took to his masculinity that day—he considered the incident a success. After all, one of the tricks to being a good manager is knowing what motivates your employees.

It’s not that he has a personal interest in what makes her tick. Not at all.

~~~

“Does salad dressing expire?” Rebecca asks, studying a grimy bottle of French she got out of the company refrigerator.

He snatches it from her. “Don’t you even think about drowning that spring mix in dressing. That wasn’t part of the terms of our Coffee Challenge.”

“Yeah, well, you won on a technicality. So I should be able to bend the rules a little,” she says, reaching across the table to grab the bottle back. He holds it above his head and far out of her reach, and she falls back into her chair, pouting like a child.

“It’s not my fault you got up early to cheat and just happened to go to the same coffee cart I frequent.”

“Okay, but you were there to cheat, too,” she reminded him.

“True, but you still cheated first. So I won, doesn’t matter how,” he says, standing to put the dressing back in the fridge.

She mumbles something under her breath about compromising the integrity of victory, and he smirks at her. The grin only grows more pronounced when she chomps down on a mouthful of lettuce and nearly gags.

“Here comes Whi-Jo,” Nathaniel says, nodding politely as he breezes into the kitchen. “Like clockwork.”

Rebecca actually gags then, theatric and obnoxious, when Darryl leans in for a kiss. “Showoffs.”

“I don’t know,” Nathaniel says. “I think they’re kinda cute.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” She drops her fork with a clatter. “Mr. ‘Commitment Is Boring’ thinks that’s cute?”

He steals another glance at the couple, who’re standing so close their foreheads are touching. They’re both wearing bright smiles, and Nathaniel feels a wistful tug in his chest. “It’s not something I want for myself,” he explains, though the words sound a little hollow. “I guess, I don’t know, I like Darryl in the same way you feel compelled to feed stray cats. So it’s nice to see him happy.”

“Whatever,” Rebecca says, stabbing at her salad. “I thought I could at least count on you for relationship bitterness, but you’re totally going soft.”

“I am not,” he says, horrified.

“You are. God, now who am I gonna go to when I want to rant about how disgusting love is?”

“I am not soft,” Nathaniel insists. “And you don’t really believe love is disgusting.”

“I sure do. Being left at the altar during my wedding made me realize some things. For example, love is garbage and so is Josh Chan.”

“Well I won’t argue with the second part.”

She flips him off. “You know what else is garbage? This salad. I’m getting dressing and you can’t stop me.”

He rolls his eyes but doesn’t protest.

~~~

“You wanted to see me?” Paula asks, stepping into his office.

“Yeah, close the door behind you.”

She does as she’s told before sitting. “What’s up, boss?”

“I’m worried about Rebecca,” he says, whispering conspiratorially.

“Join the club,” Paula says. “Who isn’t these days?”

Nathaniel frowns. “Obviously her behavior since the wedding’s been erratic, but she said something to me today that really has me troubled.”

Her eyebrows knit together. “What is it?”

He checks to make sure no one’s right outside his office before leaning over his desk. “She said she doesn’t believe in love anymore.”

Paula blinks. “Okay?”

“That doesn’t,” Nathaniel struggles for a moment, trying to put words to the twisted ball of emotion creating the ache in his chest, “…bother you?”

“I think it’s a normal reaction to what she’s been through,” she says, waving away his concern. “Personally, I’ve given up on love for way less. After I had my first kid, Scott and I didn’t touch each other for months, and I convinced myself that love was a farce. Now though, if we happen to get a moment alone once a year, I’m like ‘The hills are alive, magic is real.’ All that junk.”

He sits back in his chair. “First of all, thank you for that bit of oversharing. I’m going to do my best to forget that I know anything about your sex life.”

“You know what, I think that’s better for both of us.”

“Agreed. As for Rebecca, you’re saying she just needs to have a The Hills are Alive moment, and she’ll go back to normal?”

Paula’s expression suddenly turns scrutinizing, and Nathaniel resists the urge to shift in his seat. “Why do you care so much about Rebecca’s personal philosophy on love, anyway?”

“We’re friends,” he says dismissively, turning his attention to his computer and opening his email.

“And?”

He scoffs. “And nothing.”

“Wanna know what I think?”

He opens up a new message and starts typing random words, hoping she’ll get the hint that he’s busy and leave.

It doesn’t work.

“I think you’re in love with her.”

“That is—that’s just.” He falters, clears his throat, and then calmly says, “Ridiculous.”

Paula clucks her tongue. “Not only are you in love with her, but you’ve got it bad. Weren’t you the one who sent for her father, forced him to show up to her wedding? If that doesn’t scream ‘big romantic gesture,’ I don’t know what does.”

Nathaniel turns to her, stern frown on his face. “I don’t think about Rebecca like that; it’d be highly inappropriate.” She hums in acknowledgement, but doesn’t say anything. Her silence compels him to add, “I simply don’t want her to give up on what’s important to her because of that dipshit Chan. I mean, a Rebecca who isn’t a hopeless romantic is as weird as one who isn’t constantly humming show tunes or making bad Harry Potter puns. It’s a part of who she is.”

“Uh-uh.” Paula studies him with a huge grin on her face.

“Shut up,” he grumbles, turning back to his fake email.

When he looks up again, she’s gone, thankfully, but the unsettled feeling in his stomach lingers.

~~~

“Are we still on for dinner tomorrow night?” Rebecca asks, poking her head into his office the next morning.

He’s rendered silent for a moment too long, letting his gaze linger on her face despite the mountain of paperwork he needs to read through before noon.

“Dude, did you just fall asleep with your eyes open?” she asks. “You’re freaking me out.”

“What? No, I—sorry. Yeah. We’re trying the new Thai place on East Cameron, right?”

“Yeah, and you promised to pay. You better not forget that part.”

Nathaniel laughs a bit too heartily and then coughs to cover up his embarrassment. “I, uh, I haven’t.”

Rebecca steps into the office then, tilting her head and watching him carefully. “Is everything alright with you?”

He gestures to all the files littering his desk. “Just a little overworked. It makes me giddy.”

“You’re probably the only person on the entire planet with that problem,” she says, but visibly relaxes, accepting that explanation for his weird behavior. “Is there anything I can help you out with? Feel free to say no.”

He smiles and shakes his head. “Nothing work related. I did want to talk to you about something, though.”

She waggles her eyebrows, and the silly gesture makes Nathaniel feel lightheaded. “Sounds ominous.”

“Not really. I’ve been thinking about our next challenge.”

“Oh, good, cause I’ve got nothing,” Rebecca says, plopping down into one of his chairs. “But I think it’s time to step up our game. Take things to the next level before this gets boring.”

“I’m so glad you think so,” Nathaniel says. His heart thunders in his chest, but his smile remains calm and coy.

Rebecca smirks back. “So what’ve you got?”

He stands, walks around to the front of his desk, and perches on the edge, angling himself toward her. Not once does he break eye contact.

“I posit that in a week’s time, I’ll have you, A, admitting that you still believe in love; and B, begging me to kiss you.”

She stares, a deer caught in the headlights. “Wh-what?”

He nods. “You have to resist me for a week—that’s the challenge. If you can do it, I’ll never make a pass at you again. If you can’t, well, I get the satisfaction of being right.”

“Shouldn’t I get to pick what happens if I win?” Rebecca says, jerking up her chin defiantly. Her quickened breath gives away her nerves, though.

“Sure,” Nathaniel agrees easily. “So we have a deal?”

After a second of deliberation, she takes his outstretched hand and gives it a firm shake.