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kaurwreck · 1 month

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pm!dazai didn't abuse akutagawa. he reacted proportionately to the threat akutagawa posed to himself.

when dazai smacks akutagawa around in canon, they're running drills. dazai is not hitting him in misdirected anger or because he is venting his own suffering on him. akutagawa does not instinctually protect himself. in his fits of hyperviolence, he seeks to kill and be killed, and nearly is in beast, and in the course of his initial pursuit of atsushi.

he does not have the reflex or will or instinct to defend himself, and he is slow because he is having to consciously process the effort. his automatic reflex is to attack, but that will not stop him from being shot or overwhelmed or blindsided.

what they are doing in those scenes, what dazai is uniquely able to practice with him since rashomon can't pierce him, is not unlike cognitive behavioral therapy interventions. akutagawa is wired such that when he is triggered, he develops tunnel vision, pressing forward relentlessly without registering danger or responding to negative stimuli. this is a pattern developed from when he deemed dearh inevitable, and one which is liable to get him killed regardless of whether he has a reason to live.

he needs to consciously retrain his instinctual response, and he has to consciously and consistently reinforce it against his existing, much quicker instinct. he has to do it before he has the conviction or will to do it. and he has to do it over and over again, even when it isn't immediately life or death, because the instinct is self reinforcing, and the pattern he is trying to supplant it with is not yet.

skills are part of their users' framework for responding to their environment. jun'ichiro is anxious, but he can hide within light snow. kunikida has his notebook, but it has rigid limitations that he adapts to, similarly to how he works within the limitations of reality to keep from becoming consumed by his ideals.

akutagawa's skill, meanwhile, is wildly fucking disproportionate to akutagawa's constitution which is a problem when akutagawa wont react defensively. akutagawa is canonically frail, chronically ill, thin, and short (he's 5'8", but asagiri insists he's itty bitty every time he describes him in prose). rashomon, meanwhile, is monstrously powerful and hungry. it lends a false sense of untouchable violence when akutagawa himself is weak, and also is just really difficult to focus and control such that using it brings akutagawa into coughing fits. rashomon is also terrifying even in visage; it invites others to react with violence proportionate to their terror against the spectre of rashomon — but akutagawa is small, sick, and human; what is proportionate to rashomon is IMMENSE overkill if aimed at akutagawa. which is especially egregious because akutagawa will let them.

in other words, when dazai meets akutagawa, rashomon is as dangerous to its user as to anyone else. skills should not get their users killed. dazai is right. it's a shit skill.

akutagawa is vulnerable and self-destructive, and he and dazai are working to rewire his instinctual evaluation of his stakes. even when dazai punches akutagawa after akutagawa kills the mimic soldier, it's not a random act of violence or unregulated anger. the mimic soldier was not going to lead them to gide, there was no reality where they restrained him before he bit his cyanide, and he'd attacked dazai. but instead of reacting defensively at the opportunity, akutagawa fell to the former instinct, leaving himself wide open.

dazai reacts how he does because:

they are supplanting an ingrained instinct that is self reinforcing, the correction needs to be consistent to change the pattern and the former instinct needs to be discouraged with the same severity as the threat it poses;

by punching akutagawa first, dazai gave him notice and time to consciously muster the defense reaction theyre working on;

akutagawa needs to build an association between the defensive reaction and the triggering stimulus for this to work;

the context in which this happens is the exact sort of threat that rashomon is then ill equipped to handle— gide can see into the future, like oda, and mimic are military trained gunmen.

when dazai tells akutagawa that he couldn't ever defeat oda, he's not taunting him, he's right. akutagawa is relying on swift killing blows, but against someone who can see into the future, akutagawa is as vulnerable as a baby. and then, shortly after, that's what happens: gide wrecks his shit and is about to murder him dead when oda swoops in to grab dazai's dumb horrible baby kouhai who's trying to kill himself with the ambitious gusto of a horse.

as long as akutagawa fails to seek self-preservation, he is remarkably vulnerable. he's weak, and he's going to get himself killed. dazai doesn't coddle him about it for the same reason fukuzawa slaps ranpo for scampering into a police car with a murderer. you dont get praise for self endangerment.

dazai is not going to affirm a version of akutagawa that is trying to kill the boy dazai promised to save.

***

(also, this explains why akutagawa hates taking baths and being without his coat. dazai tried to instill in akutagawa the vigilance to register danger. in his absence, akutagawa strove to be worthy of demanding his approval by diligently practicing. but he's dazai's dumb baby kouhai who. takes things too far lmao.)

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd akutagawa #bsd dazai #btw this is why dazai sets him on atsushi #because atsushi is the reverse #he is entirely self preservation #he has trouble moving forward and he freezes #when dazai says “he's better than you”#that's what he means #he's saying see that? do you see that cowering weepy cat? that is the better extreme.#and then he keeps bringing them together because they need each other #atsushi needs akutagawa to be brave enough to act #and akutagawa needs to see what a will to live looks like from someone capable of absorbing the brunt of the fight #also as a reminder. akutagawa is not real. he is a seinen anime character with superpowers.#anime is a stylistic and exaggerated medium #do not work yourself up by dragging them from their context to frame their behavior as if theyre irl high school aged students #the pencil drawings are not hurting each other and cartoon violence is not 1:1 with real violence

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inamagicalhallucination · 1 year

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highschool au where kunikida and chuuya go to dazai's place becuz he keeps on mentioning a cat and they loves cats but its actually just atsushi

#au where they still have their abilities #or idk maybe everyone doesn't but atsushi does #or maybe he just looks like a cat #or maybe he acts like one #or maybe he's aged down and only wears cat themed clothes idk #kunichuuzai #atsushi #bungou stray dogs dazai

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starlightshadowsworld · 10 months

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Atsushi who acts cat like but only when he feels safe.

He curls up and fall asleep during an agency movie night with his head on Kyoka's shoulder.

But only after Kyoka noticed how tired he was and shrugged, patting her shoulder.

Atsushi tries to subtly chase mice until Fukuzawa just let's him go nuts, just try not to make a mess.

Atsushi only sits up on his desk at work if given the okay from Kunikida.

Once becoming friends with Akutagawa, Atsushi once chased after Rashoumoun and Akutagawa just rolled his eyes fondly at his apology and said it was fine.

Atsushi may not have known it but the Orphanage probably punished him for ever acting "like that wretched tiger."

To the point Atsushi subconsciously can't act catlike unless he feels safe.

Because he's afraid he'll get punished for it, even if he doesn't remember why he's so afraid.

#atsushi nakajima #Atsushi acts like a cat #kyoka izumi #fukuzawa yukichi #kunikida doppo #akutagawa ryuunosuke #bungou stray dogs #bsd

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appleinyoureye · 1 year

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BSD │ Sweet Dreams to the One I Love

Summary: how they cuddle you to sleep! (and if they're a pain in the ass in the actual act of sleeping)

Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs

Characters: Atsushi Nakajima, Dazai Osamu, Kunikida Doppo, Ranpo Edogawa, Tanizaki Junichiro, Akiko Yosano

Word Count: 702

Type: headcanons

Atsushi

Since he’s never received any good forms of physical contact, at first he’s a bit scared. So frightened that he almost falls down from bed, because he’s afraid to be close to you. You need to introduce him to this type of feeling, slowly assure him that you’re not here to hurt him. Even if you’re really close on a daily basis, Atsushi’s still hesitant, since during sleep he’s completely vulnerable. But after a few nights together, he’s the most cuddly person on the whole planet. Big spoon, loves to hug you from behind and has that strong ass dead grip, not letting you go anywhere. He’s never slept so calmly before, and he doesn’t plan on losing it.

Dazai

Dazai likes to cuddle before sleep. He rubs your back, arms, plays with your hair and loves to pepper your skin with tiny kisses. He also wants all of this in return. However, once you say the final “goodnight”, everything changes. This little bitch turns around so that you’re facing his back, gripping the duvet as hard as he can. You can be sure that he steals most of it to himself, and that there’s no way of taking it back, because after only a few seconds you can hear him snore (you also know that he’s only pretending, but there’s nothing you can do about it). Hug him from behind and hope that the night will be a warm one, because you’ll be completely fucked otherwise.

Kunikida

He’s not a big fan of cuddling. Little gears keep turning in his head, thoughts on a loop: “It would be kind of inappropriate. Would it be improper?” It’s not like he doesn’t mind it and it’s not like he doesn’t like it too. It’s just… confusing a bit. When you go to sleep though, he lays flat on his back, one arm stretched in your direction so that you can lay on it. Kunikida doesn’t even hug you fully with it, just the fact that it’s there should be enough. Oh, and he talks in his sleep. Like a lot. He babbles about his ideals interchangeably with scolding Dazai.

Ranpo

Ranpo wants you to cuddle him if that makes sense. He wants to be pampered, so scratch his back, stroke his arms and play with his hair. His head is full of ideas so he needs something different to focus on to fall asleep, and the way you rub his skin helps him just perfectly. But be prepared that as much as you may love this guy, you’ll hate him during the night. He’s everywhere on the bed, spreaded like a cat on a hot summer day. One leg hanging from the side, the other on you, left hand high above his head, right, no matter how many times you smack it away, keeps slapping your face. It’s not an easy night but at least he doesn’t snore, right? …right?

Tanizaki

Weirdly enough, he looks like he’s the most normal of them all. He’s just a guy that wants to cuddle before sleeping with his loved one beside. He hugs you, talks about his day and asks about yours. Tanizaki listens to you very carefully, playing with your hair and stroking your leg with his. If you can’t fall asleep he even offers to hum you a song. He likes to be a big spoon and a small spoon, but his all time favorite position is on his back, your head on his chest, while he hugs you closer to his body.

Yosano

She likes to have you close. She will hug your arm close to her body, expecting that you’ll play with her hair as she tells you about stupid people she has had to deal with at work. After Yosano gets sleepy, she forces you to turn around, and big spoons you, her arms tightly closed around your body. Just as Atsushi’s big spooning feels as if you’re hugged by a koala, in Yosano’s case it feels as if being manhandled by a gorilla. Her grip is so strong you can forget about going to the toilet in the middle of the night – she doesn’t plan on letting you go before the first rays of sun enter your bedroom.

#apple!writes #bsd x reader #bungo stray dogs x reader #atsushi x reader #dazai x reader #dazai osamu x reader #kunikida x reader #ranpo x reader #tanizaki x reader #yosano x reader #bsd fluff #bsd headcanons #atsushi nakajima #dazai osamu #kunikida doppo #tanizaki junichirou #ranpo edogawa #yosano akiko

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musamora · 10 months

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— 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖓𝖊𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖇𝖔𝖗𝖘 𝖒𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙 𝖙𝖍𝖎𝖓𝖐 ₊˚⊹

pairing: osamu dazai (bungou stray dogs) x fem!reader

content warning(s): not-safe for work content, semi-public, dacryphilia, alcohol consumption, fingering, associations of gluttony with love, teasing, mutual praise, hickies, nicknames (belladonna, baby, good girl, love)

word count: 1.4k

would you like to see more? join the taglist or comment under this post!

The heat at a company holiday party turns up as a certain brunette decides he wants to have a little fun. Let's hope that no one hears you two.

Snowflakes wore from overlapping clouds, drizzling down onto those that wandered the darkening streets, only aided by flickering street lamps as they made their way between parties and dinners. For many, it was the last day of the work season until the upcoming year, which had to be celebrated with a round of drinks and laughter between co-workers.

The members of the Armed Detective Agency were no different. While they would be on call throughout the festive season, most gifted criminals tended to take the period to rest and refresh themselves. But in celebration of their brief break, the ADA decided to partake in a couple of typical organization shenanigans — specifically booze and screaming.

Yosano was slurring the lyrics of a popular love song, her voice hoarse with the spicy whiskey, leaning against a rigged Kunikida, who screamed at the over-affectionate siblings canoodling in the corner. Kyoka was sitting atop a desk, drinking her non-alcoholic juice while dealing cards in a game with Atsushi and Kenji, who were both squinting at the lengthy rule sheet about the game. Ranpo attempted to explain it to them but quickly gave up as it went over their heads. And Fukuzawa was in the center of it all, drinking a simple saki as he enjoyed the buzzing life of his agency.

But instead of engaging with your other co-workers, you were trapped in a corner, entangled in the arms of the agency's resident suicidal maniac. He was hot despite the frost growing outside. His breath against your skin made the hair on your neck stand up, his nimble fingers trailing dangerously near the hem of your shirt.

You muffled a gasp as he pressed his lips against the start of your spine — he was acting as sloppish as a drunk, but his glass remained filled. It seemed he was intoxicated by something much more sensual this winter evening.

"Dazai," you scolded in a whisper, hands squeezing his own to prevent them from traveling further.

"Shh, belladonna," he whined, resting his chin against your shoulder as he stared up with a pouted lip. "You're being too loud. We'll get caught."

"We wouldn't get caught if you would stop."

He raised a brow. "Do you want me to stop?"

You froze as his fingers drew circles into the sensitive dips of your waist, knowing the shot of sweet liqueur in your system wasn't the cause for the warmth pooling between your legs. His large hands cupped your hips as you ceased resistance to his advances, melting into his saccharine kisses with little shame.

"Hmm," he hummed, his teeth teasing your skin, eyes narrowing with the mischievousness of a cat as you squeezed his fingers in a tremouring grip, the whispers of a whimper swallowed down your throat.

The detective interrupted your sensual cuddling as he stood up. You stared from below with a tilted frown, only for him to hush you with a smirk as he dragged you into the storage room.

"You don't wanna get caught, do ya', bella?" the brunette mumbled in your ear, his thumb circling your clit as his long fingers thrusted into your pussy. You whimpered against him, caged with his arms, hoisting your legs from behind as he toyed with your body.

"Sweet girl," he hummed, his sweetened breath catching against your ear. "You're squeezing my fingers, love. You like that idea, don'tcha?"

You whimpered as he deliberated with deepened strokes, open mouth moving across the expanse of your naked shoulder, trailing blazing kisses across your skin as he reveled in your reactions.

"You want them to hear ya', don'tcha, baby? Want them to know how good I make you feel."

You trembled as he trailed his tongue against your collarbone, breath escaping your lips in pants as your chest coiled. "P-Please—Dazai!"

"Need'ta cum, baby? You wanna cum, hm?"

You nodded, gasping for air. "Mhm—Dazai, I-I-"

You whined at the sudden absence of his fingers, watching as he licked the slick with a gratified groan. "Fucking delicious."

"W-Why—Dazai, why did you-"

"Shh, baby." His fingers circled your clit once more, drawing forth a tangle of unrestrained cries from your throat. "I'll let you cum. But I have one question."

"Wha-what is it?"

He tilted your chin to look into his eyes, and for a moment, you couldn't help but stare at their striking almond color. They continuously swirled with darkness, a mixture of felt and inflicted pain skimming the surface. A drizzle of melancholy stirred within, beckoning you with promises of mystery and paradox. But there was so much more to him, a kindness that rarely sparkled, one that remained hidden behind his walls.

At the end of the day, that was his true allure.

He smirked and, with the upturn of his lips, brought forth a toil of recognizable emotions — lust, desire, possessiveness, yearning. But much like his kindness, something remained hidden. A sense of devotion and tenderness, concealed with the gentleness of his touch despite the inferno smoldering your skin.

"Be my present for the holidays."

Those simple words brought a soft smile from your dewy skin, kissing his cheek as you led his face to yours with a guiding hand. Your fingers brushed his scarred skin, tracing from the nicks on his jaw to the lengthened scar connected to his ear.

"Of course I am, Dazai." His eyes widened. "I've always been yours."

And for a moment, only a brief moment — he smiled.

"Good."

He devoured your lips like his last meal, but the boiling lust had been replaced with a softer sentiment. You melded into one another, your body willfully laid onto the ground. It was like you were two melting candles in the night, burning your wicks until you married into one. Your fingers twirled his chocolate locks, twisting his curled tresses as you pulled him in.

You barely minded the slight zip sound from underneath you, though your eyes couldn't help but wander downward, practically salivating at the sight of his cock resting between his hands. Your body trembled in response to your raging thoughts, anticipating the moment it would be inside you. The brunette chuckled as he leaned up, popping you onto his lap as he used his lithe fingers to slip off your panties, his cock rubbing against your folds.

It seemed that neither of you could take another moment of teasing, Dazai swallowing your moans as he borderline split you in half through shallow thrust, inching in until he was sat at the hilt. He groaned as your walls squeezed him, the bliss more than he had ever dreamed of. His hands traced your shaking spine as you moaned into his mouth, adjusting to the feeling of being so full.

"S-So good, bella—fuck."

His brows furrowed, nipping at your neck with pleasured groans as he rammed his cock up into your aching pussy. His nails dug into the exposed skin of your hip, holding you to him with a bruising grip. His other hand stretched across the crown of your head, muffling your moans in the tense muscle of his shoulder as you lost the ability to restrain your lust-filled pleas for more.

"You feel good, too, don'tcha, baby?"

You fluttered around him, tears streaming down your face as he made deliberate, deep thrusts into your pussy. Your body quivered in his grasp, softly chanting his name like a mantra as he scarred the delicate curve of your neck with gluttonous bites.

"You were fuckin' made f'me, I swear—f-fuck-"

He released a muffled cry as you abruptly came around his cock, mewling hushed praises into his skin as your nails carved into his back. Without a moment to lose, he bucked into you a couple more times as you rode out your high, finding his own release with a groan as he suckled on the heated wounds of your neck.

"Good girl. Such a good fuckin' girl."

You panted, beating a weak fist against his back. "God damn it, Osamu."

"Already callin' me by my first name, bella?" He smiled, his tone not matching his expression. "You're already so in love with—"

You placed your mouth on his, practically pinning the towering man against the ground with an unceremonious thud, rolling your hips with a smirk as he let out a strained whimper. It ceased with a quick peck, and you stared softly at the exposed, love-smitten grin on his face.

"Uh-huh. Love you, too, Osamu."

ᴛᴀɢʟɪꜱᴛ: @imhandicapableofmath @seisitive @hauntedsol @ruru-kiss @ishqani @zyilas @lovesick-fairy @fedyascoffin @aquigglewigglewoo @kelperspelt @sillyspookycat

#muse's anthology ‧₊˚ ⋅#f!reader #꒰ა ⎼ [dazai]#₊˚ ❆꒰ muse's 2023 advent #౨ৎ˚ ⎼ [afterhours]#bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #bsd #bsd x reader #bungo stray dogs x reader #bungou stray dogs x reader #osamu dazai x reader #dazai x reader #osamu dazai #dazai bsd #dazai smut

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pinkykats-place · 6 months

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Bungo Stray Dogs BL Fic Recs

Archive of our own

Disclaimers!

None of the stories linked are mine.

Some contain mature content.

Read tags. Check Ratings.

GIF not mine.

Note: If you read any of these stories and like them please let the author know with a kudos and/or comment!

Shin Soukoku (AkuAtsu)

Dragonfruit by CheeseSandwjch

Summary: Akutagawa shows up at Atsushi’s house injured from a mission; Atsushi takes care of him.

{One Shot}

Rated - Teen & Up

The Cat and the Coat by lunakoroleva

Summary: It's pretty convenient that Dazai lends Atsushi his coat when he's paired up with Akutagawa. It's pretty convenient that it's cold as hell.

Akutagawa gets his first kiss. Rashomon is warm. Atsushi acts like a cat.

{One Shot}

Rated - General Audiences

Seven Days to Fall In Love with Akutagawa Ryuunosuke by its_just_me27

Summary: “Yeah,” Atsushi looks down, purposefully avoiding eye contact. “So, you have to stay here for the next seven days,” he mumbles quickly.

“Excuse me?”

“Y—you heard me,” he huffs. “I can’t help it.”

Complete | 7 Chapters

Rated - Teen & Up

Silver Lining by maxxstrom

Summary: Finding out that a lie has pervaded years of your life isn’t exactly a great way to end a mission, especially when it results in complete ignorance about your own biology. At twenty years old, Akutagawa had thought he was done learning about himself, but that doesn’t seem to be the case at all. As it turns out, he hardly knows a thing.

Alternatively, asexual “beta” Akutagawa finds out that he’s actually an omega and has to figure out how to deal with his first ever heat (a series of unfortunate events that ends with Aku getting railed within an inch of his life).

{One Shot}

Rated - Explicit

A Push in the Right Direction by PocketsizedDinosaur

Summary: Five times Rashomon and Beast Beneath the Moonlight try to get their users together and one time they finally manage to do it on their own.

Complete | 2 Chapters

Rated - General Audiences

If you’re brave enough to love the ones you hate the hardest (you might find home) by bloodyhalefire

Summary: For people like Gin and Ryuunosuke, things like love, comfort, and contentment have never been anything more than pipe dreams.

However, when Gin returns home from work one night to find Atsushi and Ryuu sleeping together on the sofa, she wonders if maybe they aren’t as unattainable as she thought.

{One Shot}

Rated - Teen & Up

I'll call your name by caramelt

Summary: “Of all places to discuss the case,” Atsushi said as they made their way back to the busy crowd, voice getting louder with every step as he fought to compete with the noise around them. He had finished his chazuke not long ago. “Why a summer festival?”

“Has it not occurred to you that I'm taking you out on a date?”

Oh. Oh.

— — —

Basically Akutagawa and Atsushi get together fluff.

{One Shot}

Rated - Teen & Up

I Love You (deeply) by SapphireSunstone

Summary: Akutagawa almost wishes he hadn’t heard it.

He wishes that there wasn’t another figure pressed up against him underneath his own bedsheets. Wishes that he hadn’t invited Atsushi to stay for the night when he realised how dark it had gotten. Wishes he hadn’t opened the door when the were-tiger had knocked.

Because now he has to deal with this.

{One Shot}

Rated - General Audiences

Series: Adventures in Partnership by guyfierimpreg

Summary: Partnership is a rocky road, but with Atsushi ramming down the clutch and Akutagawa working the shifter, they might actually get somewhere.

3 Works

Rated - General Audiences and Teen & Up

Stay by Glenraven

Summary: The port is loud with the caws of sea birds, the creak and clang of cranes and shipping containers, the rough calls of workers. Atsushi’s ears pick up all of the cacophony but parse none of it. All he can focus on are the words spoken by the dark figure in front of him, quietly, almost as though he is of half a mind not to be heard.

“Go out with me.”

Atsushi blinks. His ears don’t lie, but this isn’t making any sense.

“What?”

Akutagawa growls. “You heard me. Go out with me. This weekend. Let’s go somewhere.”

A hint of red crawls over Akutagawa’s cheeks. He wouldn’t blush if this were just a joke, would he?

{One Shot}

Rated - Teen & Up

and it was you by spirallings

Summary: Rashomon was Ryuunosuke's armor and his clothing created Rashomon. Even when his relationship with Atsushi bloomed into something more intimate, there was always that hesitation, that fear; to be vulnerable was to leave himself open for pain and hurt.

And then there wasn't anymore.

{One Shot}

Rated - Explicit

i just wanna know you by Wordless_Writer

Summary: "If he knew more, he supposed, about Akutagawa, about his pasts, his tics, his wishes... he wouldn't be having such a hard time right now. He'd know what to get him. How to... congratulate him...

Akutagawa hadn't been at the 'we defeated the guild' party and hadn't been mentioned in the local newspaper. When people approached Atsushi on the street, they never mentioned the person who had helped him. Who had been right next to him in the very picture that was published but cut out from the shot.

Atsushi didn't like Akutagawa... but he had helped so much... he deserved some..."

//////////////

or post guild arc atsushi tries to figure out how to congratulate aku

{One Shot}

Rated - SFW

With the Warmth of Your Arms, you Saved Me by Glenraven

Summary: Atsushi sputtered, eyes widened and cheeks red. Ryuu could practically watch his brain malfunctioning at the nickname. Since he was still wearing his shirt, he summoned a few tendrils of Rashoumon and had them wrap loosely around Atsushi’s wrists. “Can you keep them there for me, sweetie?” he smiled. “I need the use of both my hands to worship you.” Atsushi simply nodded, tugging lightly at the restraints to test their give. He could have easily ripped through them, but Ryuu knew that he liked the resistance and needed the reminder. He tended to have trouble keeping his hands off of Ryuu, and though Ryuu preened at being so irresistible, sometimes he really did like his dessert to sit quietly. _______ Ryuu makes it very clear to Atsushi how much he treasures him.

{One Shot}

Rated - Explicit

A Mind as Clear as Day by BrainRotgoBrrrrr

Summary: Atsushi woke up to nothing.

Just, plain, white, nothing at all.

He blinked. He could hear things. People. Machines. Whirring and talking.

He remembered his name. That was all. It floated around in his mind, bouncing and echoing until he heard it clearly in his ears.

Atsushi loses his memory and wakes up in hospital, feeling unsafe and not knowing to trust those around him

Incomplete | 5/? Chapters

Last Updated November 2023

Rated - Teen & Up

Dazai x Chuuya x Atsushi x Akutagawa

Unexpected Heat by Princess_Cherry

Summary: Akutagawa almost never even got his heat, Mori and Yosano agree that the cause is a combination of his sickness and his malnutrition as a child, his body couldn’t afford to have his heat often but once in a blue moon he got his heat and no one was ever ready for it

———————-

In which Akutagawa goes into unexpected heat and his mates need to be there for him.

One Shot | OmegaVerse

Rated - Explicit

Love to spare by Princess_Cherry

Summary: Dazai smiled, he felt blessed to have these three people in his life.

He really had love to spare.  — — —

In which Akutagawa, Atsushi, Chuuya and Dazai celebrate their 2nd anniversary, it starts wholesome but quickly turns steamy.

{One Shot}

Rated - Explicit

Pretty Kitty by scribespirare

Summary: Certain things make Atsushi...well, lose control, so to speak.

{One Shot}

Rated - Explicit

electric by quitepossiblyjanuary

Summary: They're always a little sloppy, but it's one of Atsushi's favorite parts about them, that messiness. He loves the feeling of Akutagawa's nose squished up against his face, changing every few minutes because Akutagawa likes to tilt his head this way and that, testing which angle is best for sliding his tongue against Atsushi's lips. He loves the feeling of Akutagawa's lips slipping and catching on his chin, his cheeks, as they blindly move their mouths against each other, eyes closed and too happy to care about neatness.

{One Shot}

Rated - Explicit

Something, Somehow by the_cricket

Summary: Atsushi doesn't meet Dazai by the river, and he doesn't join the agency. He saves himself from starving and figures out how to live, but he still ends up involved with both the Port Mafia and the ADA. Also, it's silly.

Complete | 3 Chapters

Rated - General Audiences

Be Good by orphan_account

Summary: It came out more or less by accident.

--------

“Are you okay, Ryuu?” Atsushi’s concerned voice finally broke the silence that had descended on the table.

“Oh I think Ryuu is much better than okay,” Dazai answered for him, glancing at Atsushi out of the corner of his eye before returning his attention to the man in front of him. “Could it be that our little Ryuunosuke likes it when we tell him just how good he is?”

{One Shot}

Rated - Explicit

Pet-a-cat, pet-a-cat, mafia man by amythecinnabunny

Summary: Nakajima Atsushi has this nifty little trick where he turns into a cat to offer comfort to people. Somehow, it leads to dating Nakahara Chuuya — after an accidental Italian vacation, that is.

{One Shot}

Rated - General Audiences

Hidden Colors by we_burnin_shit_yo

Summary: Atsushi brings in a pouch of fingernail polishes and Chuuya proceeds to do their nails while Dazai and Akutagawa hang out in the kitchen for food before joining their boyfriends which results in a fluffy polysoukoku evening.

{One Shot}

Rated - n/a

Dazai x Chuuya

Of Pinot and Patience by ChaoticQuill

Summary: In the morning hours after a night with Dazai, Chuuya finds himself addled by doubts that he'll be left behind again. Dazai, in an uncharacteristic move, offers to be patient.

— — —

Or: Chuuya worries Dazai is going to leave him, and they decide not to have sex again until Chuuya has overcome those doubts. Hilarity ensues.

{One Shot}

Rated - Explicit

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prettylittledollswork · 5 months

Text

Bungou Stray Dogs Men and their 3 fears!!

W/ Atsushi and Akutagawa !!! (Seperate)

Extra: remember, things can be picked apart and put together for each of the character !!! Just hcs, might make a part two with dazai and fyodor tbh.

———————————————————

1. losing you

Akutagawa - Okay, he wouldn’t show it but he’s TERRIFIED of losing you. He acts nonchalant and stuff but if you were lost, whether it be by yourself or someone else, he will not hesitate to tear down the whole city, if not, country, to find you. You mean so much to him that it’s sickening.

Atsushi - You were on one of the only people there when he was outcasted from the orphanage, it’s natural he’s grow attached. Losing you means that he loses a significant part of his life. Maybe even his life itself. I think he’d be the type to go ahead and do something reckless when you are in danger. Like the episode where he was tested and the fake bomb threat, he’d do something like that.

Rejection

Atsushi and Akutagawa - I feel he’d be afraid of rejection. Afraid of doing the wrong thing and you getting upset and realizing you don’t need him. He feels you can do so much better and that a stroke of luck just hit him, that’s it. If you were to even have an unpleasant expression, he’d start overthinking.

Self-esteem

Atsushi - Now, we all know this boy has low self-esteem. He couldn’t even believe in himself to cook rice. Which is why, like a cat, he too wants constant reassurance and coaxing.

Akutagawa - Ok, this boy is SIMILAR. We all know he’a confident in battles but trust me, when it comes to you, he couldn’t believe in himself to even hurt a fly. He NEEDS constant reassurance and coaxing. Atsushi can go a bit without it but oh boy, Akutagwa needs it like how he needs his cape for rashomon.

———————————————————

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himimosa · 1 year

Text

oh no, mutt!

"Don't look at me with those eyes. Your face might work on that short snail called Chuuya, but it won't work on me, nope. We both know you are disguised as a poor puppy, but you are nothing more than a stray dog in the end-"

"Dazai, what are you doing?"

He raised his head to you. He was sitting at the entrance door of Ada. When you got closer, you noticed the little fluff ball near his legs...

"Is that.. is that a puppy?"

"Not you too Y/N! This little mutt possessed everyone in the Ada! Brats are feeding it every day, Yosano-sensei treated it and Kunikida took him to the vet for vaccines! Hell, even the most cat person in this city, the president loves this little creature!"

You ignored him and crouched down to the ground, right next to Dazai "Hi there... Oh my god, aren't you the cutest?..." You slowly held your hand to see its reaction. The little pup seemed domestic, it started to rub its little head towards your hand. When you get permission, you started to scratch his head gently. You felt that like your heart was melting..

"Yuck!... I can't believe how you betrayed me out of all people Y/N..." Dazai sighed dramatically and headed for the stairs. Then he made a sudden turn: "If that mutt gets used to this place because of you, it will be either me or it that will have to leave the Ada!"

The pup stayed in the end, and of course Dazai too...

The little one was able to manage to capture everyone's heart. Nobody was afraid or disgusted (except Dazai) when it headed for the stairs and started to hang around in the office. It kinda became a mascot of the office... Naomi offered to name it "Pochi" and said it was the name of another cute pet from an anime. When "Pochi" was approved, it was now officially Ada's pet.

Pochi was so smart and loveable. (According to Ranpo, he was smarter than an average person) He knew the times when he could play with Ada members as he knew the times when things get serious. At times like this, he would sit quietly without bothering anyone (Kunikida has said Pochi was more mature than Dazai at these times) Sometimes he was accompanying the person on field search with their task too... Younger ones like Atsushi, Kyoka, Kenji, and Tanizaki siblings were mostly responsible for taking care of him, but no one would mind feeding him or having a walk with him. Except for one person...

"You should give Pochi a chance," you said on a lunch break. "He is one of us now, and I am sure Pochi wants to get along with you too..."

Dazai looked at you with both horror and disgust "Y/N-chan... Could you not talk about the mutt like it is an actual person?... I swear everyone is acting like they got bewitched by it..."

You didn't stop: "If you try to talk with him even once, you will see he is something else... Pochi listens to us like he actually understands"

"Nonsense..." Dazai scoffed "I would prefer to send a voicemail to Chuuya if I ever want a dog's listening to me..."

It was a usual night for Yokohama. Everyone had left the office after they were done with their tasks. You refilled Pochi's water and food pots for the night, he was staying in the office at nights. When you were about to leave the office you suddenly realized Dazai was still at his desk..

You blinked a few times. If Kunikida saw this, he would probably shed happy tears... It was not a usual sight to see Dazai's still working.

"Dazai I am leaving the office now... Are you coming too, or should I leave the office to you for locking the doors before leaving?"

"Ah, it's okay Y/N-chan... I will probably stay in here tonight, so you can go ahead, don't worry..."

You hesitated for a moment "Are you sure?.."

Dazai smiled "Yeap, good night, see you tomorrow..."

You were still not sure about leaving him alone... His smile seemed so fake just now, and you had a feeling like Dazai was not okay at that moment. But thinking that he was trying to send you, prevented you from doing anything. You didn't want to cross your boundaries. He probably needed some alone time...

"Okay then.. see you later, good night~"

When you left, Dazai sighed. And he brought out some sake bottles from his closet before heading to the roof...

The roof was so calm and peaceful in these hours... You could see the bright lights from all around the city. There were hundreds of lights and buildings, the most majestic one's Dazai's ex-workplace... This city was ugly yet beautiful at the same time... You could watch the people hurrying somewhere from the roof, you could hear faint conversations and laughter, you could observe their lives... When he found somewhere to sit comfortably, he filled a glass, then he looked at the stars before raising his glass "To you, my friend..."

Today was his death anniversary. Dazai was used to the pain that comes after the lost one, but for some reason, this year was harder than before. He was missing his best friend more than ever now...

He drank and drank until the point he started feeling a little light-headed. He was reaching out for the 3rd bottle when he noticed Pochi had been watching him quietly from the door...

"Is it you mutt? What do you want?... Doesn't matter, because I won't get up to give it anyways..." He tried to open the bottle, but his hands were trembling.

"Damn it..." he murmured. He tried a few more times but when it started to hurt his fingers, he gave up in frustration. Once he raised his head, he realized Pochi was still watching him, only closer this time...

"Listen dog... I am not in a good mood. I was trying to prepare for having a monolog with my dead best friend... If you excuse me, I don't want any listeners beside me..."

Pochi looked at him. At that moment, Dazai realized the dog was different than usual. Usually, the dog had this cheerful, loud attitude, it would look like it was smiling and move its tail fastly (too much to his disliking, he was thinking it was annoying) But now it was listening to him with ears dropped, the tail's not moving... And its eyes were like... it understood him...

"... Do you really understand what I am saying?" he asked, then he continued "..As if... It wouldn't be possible for a shrimp-sized brain like yours would be able to understand the complexity of human emotions.. Hell even I don't understand why I am feeling this-" he stopped for a second because his voice was trembling. "-these feelings... I just don't understand and..."

He felt tears were about to come but he bit his lips hard. He hated crying, and he had never cried for Odasaku since the day he died...

Pochi slowly moved towards him. Dazai didn't try to push him away for the first time. He watched as Pochi slowly approached. Pochi stopped near to his knees, didn't come closer. Instead, he put his little head on top of Dazai's knee. And just stood there...

Dazai couldn't remember how much he cried and talked about his dead friend with a dog that night... But when he woke up in the morning and saw Pochi sleeping in his lap peacefully, he didn't dare to remove him.

He didn't want to think about you guys reaction once you found out. Instead, he took his phone out and sent a picture with the caption: "Pipsqueak, look at him carefully and learn how to act as a good boy :p"

Notes:

I have never had a dog, but I had a cat. She was my baby, my little angel... And she used to do this thing like Pochi, she would knew it whenever I was too depressed, and sit with me until I feel better... This was mostly for her memory, reast in peace my angel ♡

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oikasugayama · 10 months

Note

CAN I GET A CHART WHERE ITS LIKE

“Would get exotic pets cheetahs, big cats wolves etc.)” and would get normal pets,

Would not want pets, would want pets

pets being normal or exotic would require a third axis but you've inspired a thought

Karl is literally in Poe's pic. Wants pet, gets pet, HAS PET!

Fukuzawa and Oda want pets and will get them when they feel their life is stable enough. Junichiro will get a pet even if his life is unstable bc the pet will make him happy (: They all get cats.

Atsushi wants a pet but doesn't feel like he deserves one right now. He would start with something like a cat but eventually have something big like a tiger that desperately needs a home and could NOT live in the wild.

Kunikida and Tachihara would like to be stable enough to have pets but know they're not so they don't get any. Chuuya wants a dog SO BAD but he wants to be able to spend every hour with it so he doesn't get one because he cant be a good dog dad. Akutagawa likes animals but won't admit it. He loves going to animal cafes but likes to not have to take care of the animals.

Nikolai is whatever about animals. He likes birds and can summon them when he wants them and then make them go away when he doesn't.

Bram and Fyodor.....their pets aren't animals, bram makes vampires and fyodor acts like people are his pets to play with.

Sigma would act like the exotic animals at the casino shows are his pets but only for show, he doesn't really care and is glad he doesn't have to take care of them moore than to check that they're looking good and healthy.

Mori doesn't want pets but he gets big exotic animals to show off his wealth and status. he also has professional teams to take care of the animals.

Ranpo, Ango, Dazai, and Mushitaro do NOT want pets and do NOT get pets.

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alien-slushie · 6 months

Text

Headcanon that Akutagawa once gave Atsushi a dead bird.

Most of the agency think it was a form of harassment, or maybe even a d*ath threat, but Atsushi is torn between offended, and touched. On one hand, he can hunt for /himself/, thank you very much, on the other, Akutagawa was trying to make sure Atsushi was taken care of.

What did Akutagawa actually mean by giving Atsushi the bird? Nobody(except maybe Ranpo) knows!

#bungou stray dogs #bsd #bsd akutagawa #akutagawa ryuunosuke #atsushi nakajima #bsd atsushi #atsushi acts like a cat #bsd sskk #shin soukoku #sskk #bsd headcanons

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jinko-hellhound · 3 months

Text

“over and over, all born into great pain” — bungou stray dogs — chuuya, atsushi, dazai

“Atsushi appears on Chuuya’s doorstep covered in blood and full of drugs. Dazai, despite not being present, dutifully haunts the narrative. or: Strangers who’ve been shaped by the same person. or or: 4,000-ish words of musing and vibes and no plot.” — posted for @dazaibirthdayweek2024 !

words: 3,925

first published: 6/18/2024

characters: dazai osamu, nakahara chuuya, nakajima atsushi

relationships: nakahara chuuya & nakajima atsushi, dazai osamu & nakajima atsushi, nakahara chuuya/dazai osamu

tags: mild hurt/comfort, light angst, introspection, no plot/plotless, implied/reference drug use, non-consensual drug use (off-screen), mild gore, tiger nakajima atsushi, implied/referenced cannibalism (crazy), caring nakahara chuuya

crossposted on ao3

Dazai’s stupid kid is crumpled on Chuuya’s doorstep.

Chuuya had wanted to head down to the liquor store. Instead, his boots hit boy as soon as he stepped out the door. Fucking Dazai, Chuuya thinks, because it must be Dazai’s fault.

Chuuya sighs. He turns back to his empty penthouse, as though expecting Dazai to pop out from behind his couch and shout surprise! then announce to him some stupid plan that absolutely necessitates the weretiger bleeding out in the hall.

“Weretiger,” Chuuya says. The weretiger gives a noncommittal grunt. Copper is already filling the air and seeping into the carpet from a wound that must be in the kid’s torso, way he’s doubled over it. God, the stain in the carpet. Chuuya should just get the carpet ripped out, with how often he has to call the cleaners. Doesn’t the kid have superhuman healing? Chuuya squints. Shouldn’t he be healed already?

“Weretiger,” Chuuya says again. The kid’s shoulder shifts a centimeter and that’s about all the response he gets. Well, okay. Questions later. First things first — the weretiger rises into the air and floats into the middle of the living room. His eyes flutter, but he doesn’t seem to register the red glow around him.

“Bwuh,” the weretiger says. A conveniently stashed sheet of plastic (this is not Chuuya’s first rodeo) lifts up and settles over the couch cushions. The weretiger follows. “Bwuuuhhgggg,” he says smartly into the plastic. His left arm is a long pale line hanging off the couch, which Chuuya’s black Maine-coon is already clawing at. The weretiger seems unperturbed by this.

“Uh-huh.” The first aid kit deposits itself into his hands as he strides over to the couch. “Lemme see that wound.”

Except there’s nothing to see. Under the ripped up shirt and all the clotting blood and bits of loose flesh, it’s just smooth skin. So his ability has done its work, if belatedly. Some of this blood is only a few minutes old. It healed fast, but not as fast as it ought’ve. But the weretiger is still acting all loopy, whimpering like something hurts. Just blood loss? That doesn’t feel right.

Chuuya sits himself on his coffee table, knees bumping the couch. “What’s your name again?” It’s somewhere in the back of his mind, but all he ever hears is Akutugawa’s jinkos.

“Naka…” the weretiger starts, then seems to forget he was saying anything. He turns to the cat as though he only just realized she was drawing tracks down his arm, and coos, scratching at her chin. His pupils are huge. Ah, that’s one question answered at least. A hard drug hindered his healing — and it would have disoriented him enough to panic, go out searching for help. Now the question was what drug, why, and how the fuck did his mind, even drug-addled, end up at Chuuya?

“Naka…” Chuuya echoes, scratching his chin. He really should know this, considering the scuffles and the bounty and the general hot topic the boy was around the Port Mafia. The weretiger does not provide any more help. He is entirely caught up with the cat. Now fully turned onto his side, the weretiger has both hands around the cat’s face, scratching dutifully under both her ears. She purrs like a motorboat.

“Hello,” he says reverently. Big-eyed, he tilts forward until he and the cat can touch noses. When he smiles Chuuya catches braces and grimaces. “Hello, hello, meow.”

“Mrow,” the cat offers.

“Nakajima!” Chuuya finally settles on, triumphant. Nakajima looks up at him fully for the first time, grinning with a Dazai-like edge. Well — tree, apple, falling, etc. Chuuya supposes he’s not so much grinning like Dazai as he is grinning like someone high on nebulous hard drugs, which Dazai often is.

“What’s her name?” Nakajima asks, glossy eyes settling somewhere on Chuuya’s chin.

“Pingus,” Chuuya says, and Nakajima dissolves into giggle fits. He rolls over, pushing himself into the back of the couch, giggling so hard his feet kick out. Pingus, scandalized, climbs onto the couch and begins kneading at Atsushi’s side, trying to force her head under his hands. “What!” Chuuya says, even though he’s listened to a hundred people laugh at his cat’s name before. “It’s a fine Spanish wine, Nakajima, does your idiot mentor teach you anything—”

Nakajima’s laughter stops abruptly. Everything about him stops abruptly. He pushes himself up onto his forearms and Chuuya realizes he hates the sight of him — collapsed on Chuuya’s fine couch, which he’d bought with blood money; white hair and moonlight skin and tatters of a white shirt, all matted and sticky with his own blood, bits of flesh trailing down his stomach. He’s got, Chuuya realizes, red smears all over his chin, his neck, and if he opened his mouth a little wider it might be on his teeth, too. Chuuya had always thought the kid sweet, a bit naive, earnest and reckless. Akutugawa had called him a stupid dog. He wonders about the man-eating tiger stories; wonders what Dazai saw in him in the first place that he thought would make a good partner for Akutugawa. He wonders what Dazai’s taught the kid - what he’s nurtured in him.

“Dazai,” Nakajima says, just as reverential as when he’d been speaking to Pingus. “Dazai told me to come here.” Out of his front pocket, he pulls a crumpled, slightly damp piece of notebook paper and holds it out to Chuuya. He grins big, proud of himself.

A safe place in case of emergency! :D It reads, in Dazai’s stupid messy scrawl. Chuuya will be kind and keep Atsushi for a bit. Tell Chuuya Dazai sent you!

Below these instructions are Chuuya’s address, his phone number (Jesus, Dazai, Chuuya thinks — might as well start plastering Chuuya’s face all over Main Street), and, of course, nothing directed at Chuuya.

Chuuya sighs, runs a hand through his hair. Fucking Dazai — what was he thinking, sending Nakajima his way? Did he tell his whole gaggle of do-gooders Chuuya’s place was a safehouse? And why the hell would he send Nakajima straight into the Mafia’s hands?

(Unless, of course, he believed Chuuya would decline to tell the Mafia about this at all. It was a big risk, believing that.)

“So.” Chuuya leans forward, bracing his elbows on his knees. He studies Nakajima, whose chest is heaving, every breath coming with a hint of a wheeze. Did he overdose? Chuuya taps his foot, considering — he has aspirin in his first-aid kit. Narcan too. “What happened, huh? Too much catnip?”

Nakajima grins lazily (yes, he was right — blood and braces), head lolling against the couch. His arm is limp when Chuuya picks it up, presses two fingers to the pulse point at the inside of his elbow. Nakajima’s offering way too much trust, either because of the drugs or Dazai — Chuuya could stop his blood from flowing at all, if he wanted to. But Dazai would shoot him in the temple, probably.

“I dunno,” Nakajima slurs. His mental condition is definitely unnerving, but at least his pulse feels fine, and his skin isn’t clammy.

Chuuya pinches his inner arm and Nakajima yelps, jolting — his arm becomes monstrous and heavy. Chuuya stares at it, considering the length of its claws. Man-eater, he thinks.

“Huh,” Chuuya says. Then: “Wake up, kid. Tell me what happened.”

“Um.” Pingus is rubbing her face all over Nakajima’s jaw. A deep purr rumbles in Nakajima’s chest to match Pingus’s, which Chuuya is only mildly surprised by. There’s some semblance of awareness in Nakajima’s eyes that Chuuya thinks is due to Pingus’s bothering. She’ll get extra fish with her dinner, as a reward. “Dazai and I were undercover…” Nakajima’s eyes roam the ceiling, running his (both now human, thank God) bony hands up and down Pingus’s back. “Undercover, and… Dazai told me to leave — really fast.”

“Why?”

Nakajima looks frustrated, and Chuuya understands. With a mind addled like his is, it can be hard to put words to things even if you know exactly what you’re trying to explain. But if there’s trouble, there’s no time to wait for Nakajima to sober up.

“Because…” Nakajima says, “He said we were drugged… we were at this fancy party, and I started feeling funny, and Dazai said, go to the Agency, but the Agency was far away… I left him there…” Nakajima jumps up, suddenly, throwing a yowling Pingus off his chest. White knuckling the back of the couch, Nakajima shouts, “Dazai’s in trouble!”

“Calm down.” Chuuya considers reaching out, pushing Nakajima back down onto the couch. That probably wouldn’t go well. “You know Dazai’s fine.” Fine was maybe a strong word, but alive was a fact that seemed to stay true no matter what. “I need more from you. How’d you get injured?”

Nakajima blinks at him. “Injured?”

“Injured,” Chuuya reiterates, pointing at the chunk of yellow fat smeared across Nakijma’s stomach. What a fucking sight. All the hallmarks of a corpse on his couch, except the actual injury.

“Oh,” Nakajima says, squinting down at his own blood. He sort-of snarls as he runs his tongue over his upper teeth, like he just realized the blood on it. “I don’t — remember? I think someone tried to stop me leaving…”

Chuuya puts the images together. Thinks it through — Nakajima and Dazai, both of them completely out of place in some party full of cocktail dresses and tiny sausages. The drugging had to be well hidden for Dazai not to notice, but he would have known the second it slid down his throat. He imagines Dazai’s panicked face — the one no one else ever notices except Chuuya, who is very well attuned to the tiniest twitches of Dazai’s eyebrows — imagines him calculating exactly how many minutes him and Nakajima had, making an estimated guess based on Nakajima’s size and ability and how much he’d unknowingly chugged, and then deciding the kid had enough time to get the hell out of dodge.

Nakajima would have had to leave as discreetly as possible, as though he didn’t know anything was wrong. But if someone had drugged them both, then they were watching them, too. Nakajima had been intercepted, gotten hurt, and — hm. The man-eating thing had only ever been rumors. But if he had claws like that, Chuuya could only imagine the teeth, and what one does when there’s an unknown drug and panic and blood loss all settling in at once. With his efforts to get all the blood off his teeth and out of the crannies of his braces, Nakajima is making a lot of funny faces.

So someone was probably dead. And Dazai was God knows where. And — okay.

Chuuya tilts his head up to the ceiling, ignoring Nakajima, who has once again become preoccupied with Pingus. Question time:

1. Where’s Dazai? Did he get himself out too? Or is he drugged up in someone’s basement?

2. Why Nakajima and not him? If it were one or the other, Dazai would have had a much easier time getting himself out than Nakajima. His tolerance is higher, he probably had less, and, frankly, he’d probably be much more useful in terms of knowledge.

3. For that matter: why not both? Why couldn’t both of them leave? Scratch question 2, then — the only reason Dazai would let himself get caught is if he had a reason to.

4. Fine then, last question, besides why come to Chuuya: how long should Chuuya wait for the stupid mackerel to show his face before he sucks it up and calls the Agency?

Hopefully, he won’t have to deal with the last question. Either Nakajima sobers up soon or Dazai escapes. It’s been a few years and Dazai’s gone weird and soft, but at the very least he should still be totally capable of escaping some stupid fucking kidnappers.

Chuuya should probably add who drugged them to his list of questions, but that’s not really his problem. With the story straight-enough in his head, he just needs to focus on getting Nakajima sober. By the state of the kid’s giant pupils and still-heaving breaths and incessant giggles every time he whispers Pingus to himself, it’ll be a while.

Babysitting duty. Ah, well — Chuuya’s used to babysitting duty, ever since Dazai fucked off and left the Akutugawa kids reeling and helpless. (Not that either of the kids would admit that’s what happened.) Dazai was always leaving him on babysitting duty.

Chuuya sighs, stands, retrieves a blanket. By this point Nakajima’s sunk back down onto the couch, holding a loaf of Pingus against his chest. “Rest up, weretiger,” Chuuya says, throwing the blanket over the both of them. He’ll wash all the viscera and shit off the blanket later.

Nakajima, covered up to his nose, blinks with those big, dual-colored eyes. With a little mrow, Pingus’s head pops out of the blanket and she starts nuzzling Nakajima’s cheek with his nose.

“Are you gonna tell Akutugawa I’m here?” Nakajima asks softly. It should be a question asked with fear, but it’s awfully bland — unafraid. Chuuya’s lips twitch.

“No,” Chuuya says, and heads into the kitchen.

Dazai used to do a lot of cocaine.

He probably doesn’t anymore. Or he’s really good at hiding it. Chuuya doesn’t imagine a cocaine habit would go over well with the detectives, and he doesn’t imagine Dazai could even hide something like that from the smart one. (From the others, he could definitely hide it. But not the super smart one.)

Chuuya’s done it a few times himself, but it’s never been his preference. The dignity of alcohol, the richness of it, and most of all the beauty of it — all those fine, expensive, aged bottles sitting on his shelves — has always appealed to him. But Dazai liked the way things like cocaine got him excited, amplified his mania. He liked uppers, from cigarettes to ritalin to coke, because they made him feel human.

Not that it’s cocaine, Nakajima’s got in him. It’s definitely not cocaine. It was probably ketamine or benzos, an attempt to make Nakajima all loopy and relaxed and weak. That’s not what happened, clearly. At least it’s not what happened immediately, because Nakajima had enough strength in him to escape an attacker. Must’ve been his ability slowing the drug.

It doesn’t matter. This is all to say that Chuuya has more than enough experience sobering himself and others up. He sets to work frying some eggs.

Nakajima’s not asleep; from the other room, Nakajima’s quiet voice wafts in, indistinguishable murmurs interspersed with giggles and Pingus’s mrows. At some point he starts humming a song which Chuuya has to strain his ears to hear. It’s a sweet, lilting melody — his brain fills in the lyrics instantly and his heart twists at the realization that it’s Dazai’s stupid song, can’t do a double suicide alone.

Chuuya slides the eggs off the pan with his spatula and sets them gently on the plate. Then he stops there, stares at the eggs, the shaking yolks. Thinks about being fifteen in Mori’s office, glaring at Dazai, the feeling in his gut that something horrible had changed in his life. Thinks about the stark red marks of Dazai’s hand on Akutugawa’s cheek. Thinks about childrens’ feet pattering softly down the halls of the Port Mafia’s safe houses and headquarters’ halls. Thinks about Nakajima, smiling at Dazai’s name, singing silly tunes Dazai taught him.

Toast pops out of the toaster. It’s a little burnt. Chuuya blinks and takes a breath that does not shake. He flicks on the radio — some public station playing soft jazz — and he can’t hear Nakajima anymore.

When Chuuya returns to the living room with two ham egg and cheese sandwiches, Nakajima pops fully up, although this time he holds Pingus to his chest so she doesn’t fall. The blanket falls, though, and it’s the same as it was before: the remains of a nice shirt falling over thin shoulders, drying brown blood splattering his stomach and chest and arms, his own fucking skin and flesh and fat stuck to him. Chuuya’s seen gore before — seen it a thousand times worse than this — but something about the sight has him keeping his eyes dutifully on Nakajima’s forehead.

Nakajima devours the sandwich in practically one bite, his jaw wider than it ought to be. Chuuya pretends not to be unnerved by this.

Once Nakajima has fully chewed his sandwich and patted his stomach and hummed his thanks, Chuuya asks, “Feel any better?”

The penthouse is cold. Chuuya likes it that way. But Nakajima shivers, pulling the blanket back up, tucking himself back down onto the couch. “A little,” he says, suddenly very childlike. As though he’s only just realized he’s cold (likely, considering what some drugs can do to one’s awareness of things like temperature), Nakajima curls more and more into himself on his side, pulling the blanket up his face. Ridiculous, that he’s on Chuuya’s couch right now. Ridiculous, that Chuuya doesn’t call Akutagawa. Fucking Dazai.

Chuuya stands abruptly. Nakajima blinks in response.

“Rest,” Chuuya says again, then promptly retreats to his bedroom.

Dazai is sprawled out on Chuuya’s bed, twisting the soft black covers beneath him, hair fanned out over the pillow. He’s got a few bruises on his cheek but there’s no blood, Chuuya recognizes first, then recognizes second that Dazai is on his fucking bed.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Chuuya says. Throws his hands up in the air, lets out a noise like a yell without any air — makes a scandalized face that Dazai only blinks at, throws his arms back down, then towards Dazai, into the air, then out, gesturing widely at the room around him. Every loose object in the room raises about a centimeter, drops, raises. “When the fuck did you get here!” He crosses the room in two long strides, pulls the lounging Dazai off the bed by his shoulders, and shakes him. “Your stupid kid is high out of his mind in the living room!”

Dazai groans, fake, squeezing his eyes shut. “Chuuya, Chuuya,” he whines, putting on a strange voice like a telenovela housewife, “Chuuya, my head is killing me!”

“You’ve done worse drugs,” Chuuya says, but he brings up a hand to start prying Dazai’s eyelids open and check his pupils. Yelping, Dazai bats him away, wiggles out of his grip, then rolls floppily onto the other side of the bed. He pats the space next to him in invitation.

“Fuck you,” Chuuya says.

Dazai just frowns.

The window is open, Chuuya realizes, a breeze fluttering the blackout curtains. This is somehow an even worse realization than finding Dazai on his bed, and Chuuya has to fully turn on his heel so he’s facing away from Dazai. He grabs his face in his hands, bounces on his heels once, twice, thrice. The idiot had either broken into the apartment below and climbed up to the penthouse or started from the roof and climbed down — either way, it’s so ridiculous and unnecessary that the thought of it gives Chuuya heart palpitations.

“You have a key to this apartment!” Chuuya hisses, although something about it feels like he shouldn’t say it out loud, like it’s an admittance. “Why would you-!”

Dazai hums in a way that tells Chuuya he won’t get an explanation. Either he’d done it for fun or done it because it was all part of some stupid plan or mind game or manipulation. Chuuya decided he didn’t care, because the more pressing question was—

“Why would you give that kid my address?” He steps forward so his knees are bumping the mattress.

Doe-eyed and innocent, Dazai stares up at him. “Why wouldn’t I?” He asks, “Chuuya is a good babysitter…”

“I’m going to kill you,” Chuuya says, but he doesn’t add his usual violence to it because he’s squinting at Dazai’s pupils. Blown pupils, but his cheeks are a normal warmth, he seems perfectly able to move himself around. No need for the damn narcan, which is a blessing, because Chuuya’s had to give Dazai narcan more times than he’d like in this lifetime.

Dazai pats the spot next to him again. Rolling his eyes, Chuuya acquiesces. Shoulder to shoulder, knee to knee; fifteen, twenty-two. They sit in quiet a moment, Dazai taking deep breaths Chuuya recognizes as an attempt to sober up. The summer breeze through the window adds a bit of warmth to the cold room. Nakajima is humming that tune again, loud enough to hear through a closed door. Chuuya closes his eyes.

“I escaped a little faster than I meant, but I got good information,” Dazai muses. When Chuuya glances over, an eyebrow raised, he waves his hand in dismissal. “Agency business.”

“Agency business,” Chuuya repeats flatly, “but you can send Nakajima here in the middle of it.” He’s indignant, even though an hour ago he said whoever drugged the two of them wasn’t his problem. It’s the principle of the matter — he can decide he doesn’t care. Dazai can’t decide that for him.

Yawning, Dazai scratches at his jaw. “I didn’t specifically send him here. I gave him your information a long time ago. You were closer than the Agency.” The drugs are making him a bit less playful, more direct than usual. His gaze is sort of lizard-like, unfocused on the wall opposite him. “Chuuya’s a good babysitter,” he repeats. Chuuya could vomit. He leans a bit away from Dazai, but Dazai just lifts one leg and settles it over Chuuya’s, holding him in contact.

They’re silent for a long moment, in which Nakajima begins to giggle, repeating Pingus to himself several times.

“What’re you doing with this kid?” Chuuya finally asks, glancing sidelong at Dazai.

There’s that Dazai smile. The actor one, the robot one, that reaches his eyes as though it’s clawing for them. “Does Chuuya have a soft spot?” he asks, leaning back into Chuuya’s space, chin hitting Chuuya’s shoulder. He whines when Chuuya plants a hand on his face and pushes him off. With the momentum he falls over himself so that he’s become a ball on Chuuya’s bed, moaning about how mean and awful and cruel Chuuya is.

“No,” Chuuya bites, “I just wanna know what you’re planning in your stupid mackerel brain.”

Said mackerel doesn’t respond for a while. Chuuya is reaching out to jostle him when he realizes the rise and fall of his back is real, actual sleep, and his hand stops in the air.

“Damn it,” he says, but it’s a quiet mutter. Out in the living room, Nakajima’s quieted, too.

He stands. Goes into the living room. Stares at the now-sleeping kid for a long moment. In sleep he’s serene, cheeks thin but still childlike, face still all smooth like an artist had just gone over the clay of him with her thumbs. Pingus curls under his chin. All sweet, except for the brown-red on Nakajima’s jaw, resting against Pingus’s dark fur.

Chuuya crosses into the kitchen, sits heavy in a chair, and considers. Considers — all of the safe houses Dazai could have sent Nakajima off to. Considers that stupid tune Nakajima and Dazai seem to love, and the edge to both their smiles, and the vigor with which Akutugawa and Nakajima hate each other. Considers how a man was dead, and how he probably deserved to die, but it had been a desperate, drugged eighteen year-old on a job who’d done it. Considers Chuuya’s a good babysitter, and tea with the Akutugawas, and Nakajima’s braces. He comes to no satisfactory conclusions.

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #dividers by cafekitsune #dazai osamu #nakahara chuuya #nakajima atsushi #bsd fic #bsd fanfic #fanfic #soukoku #aryll.fic #aryll.bsd #dazai birthday week 2024 #osamu dazai #chuuya nakahara #atsushi nakajima #cross posted on ao3

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i-promise-i-am-not-on-drugs · 3 months

Text

Hi! This is my presentation post! I will update it from time to time! ^^

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— I am a teenager (between 15 and 19)!! Please don't ask me to send you money to help you with what you're going through, I will not be able to help you. It will only make me sad and uncomfortable, and make you lose time that you could use by asking the same thing to someone who can actually help you. I will most likely aweser your ask with a dot and appropriate #, only because I feel guilty when I don't. Also, I will block you, I'm sorry.

And I've just been asked that so just to be clear: No, I am not interested in any kind of "sugar relationship", thank you very much. (*traumatized crying*)

— Please do not interact with me if you are racist, homophobic, transphobic or a terf, if you willingly body shame people, if you are sexist, if you promote any kind of non con/illegal-relationship, if you are a nsfw-only account, or if you don't like to see the most random post at any time of the day. Once again, I will block you.

— I am genderfluid! You can use any pronounces while referring to me, but I do have a slight preference for they/them. :)

— Also, I mostly go by Eleana online, but I like to be called Len too. Or by my url idc. :3

— I do not have the energy to find the exact label for my sexuality, but I like to think of myself as queer and demi romantic! ^^

— I am mostly active in the following fandoms: The Goldfinch, Stranger Things, and Bungou Stray Dogs.

— I like to post some writing prompts that I make when a cool idea tickles my brain but my lazy ass can't bring itself to actually do something with it. :3

— Most of my posts/reposts are absolutely random and probably a bit confusing lol

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Here are some of my favorites ships in...

... Stranger Things

— Byler; Wiseheat; Miwi / Will x Mike (they need to be romantic and fucking cheesey.) (/hj)

— Jancy / Jonathan x Nancy (both platonic and romantic)

— Lumax / Lucas x Max (slight preference for romantic, but platonic is cute too)

— Elmax / Eleven x Max (both platonic and romantic)

— Elumax / Eleven and/x Lucas x Max (both platonic and romantic)

— Rokie / Robin x Vickie (preference for romantic)

— Ronance / Robin x Nancy (slight preference for platonic)

— Steddie / Steve x Eddie (both platonic and romantic)

— Duzie / Dustin x Suzie (both platonic and romantic)

— Stobin / Steve and Robin (ONLY PLATONIC!!! They're my favorite duo!! :D)

... The Goldfinch

— Boreo / Boris x Theo (romantic.)

— Pippadore / Pippa x Theo (only platonic.)

— Hobie x Welty (both platonic and romantic)

... Bungou Stray Dogs

— Soukoku / Dazai x Chuuya (both platonic and romantic)

— Shin Soukoku/ Atsushi x Ryūnosuke (also both platonic and romantic)

— Fyolaï / Fyodor x Nikolaï (both platonic and romantic too)

— Rampoe / Rampo x Poe (preference for romantic but platonic is cool too)

— Higugin / Higuchi x Gin (again, both platonic or romantic)

— Tachigin / Tachiara x Gin (platonic or romantic too)

— Kousano / Kouyou x Yosano (both platonic and romantic)

— KyouKenji / Kyoka x Kenji (both platonic and romantic)

— Atsulucy / Atsushi x Lucy (slight preference for platonic but romantic is cute too)

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Some random things about me! :D

— I absolutely loooove music. It doesn't have to be any specific kind of music, I could listen to pretty much anything and I'd be happy, because it's music.

— I am a cat person, and I'd like to adopt one or two when I'll have my own place!

— I never actually dated or really had a "crush" on anyone, but that doesn't stop me from being one of the biggest longing romantic person that I know!!

— I'm a fucking Drama Lord. >:)

— I am currently hyperfixing on Finn Wolfhard's acting. And by that, I mean that I discovered him by watching "The Goldfinch", and seeing more of his acting is the only reason why I watched "IT", "The Turning", and "Stranger Things" even thought I usually really hate horror/action shows.

— I am an extraverted introvert!

— People say I look mean or scary, but really I just have a "do-not-come-near-me-or-I'll-bite-your-head-off" resting face.

— My favorite love languages are physical touches and words of affirmation. :)

— My memory works in a really strange way: I can remember word by word some parts of books and their entire storyline when I've read them years ago, but it took me 7 years to know the birthdate of a friend of mine that I met when we where both three.

— I sometimes have an hyperfixation on a random thing for months and then suddenly loose any interest about it for literally no reason at all.

— And (you probably guessed that by now) I tend to overshare things about myself when people let me. (⁠•⁠ ⁠▽⁠ ⁠•⁠;⁠)

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You can also find me here! ^^

AO3 →

https://archiveofourown.org/users/0Eleana0/profile

SPOTIFY →

https://open.spotify.com/user/31umukryrvdkhqjddcjetw56nveu?si=KHezNeUsQEmJVZik9LGlwg

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And that's pretty much it! Wow I'm actually impressed if you finished to read all that lol--

Thank you for being here, I love you! (/platonically) ^^♥

#presentation post #all about me #ships #fandoms #the goldfinch #bungou stray dogs #stranger things #writing prompts #random #spotify #AO3 #len's rambling

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