#attitude towards the war before going there -> what it was like in vietnam -> what made him change his ideology

[stirringwinds]

Hello! Long time fan of your account, and sorry for the long question.

About HWS Japan's relationship with China I would see him already having troubles with him before western intervention as I am currently reading about East Asian's relationships, Tang China and Silla (modern day South Korea) defeated Japan and Baekje (who had ties with the royal family in Japan) would that affect their relationship already? I hc Kiku feeling like Yao was not a very nice guy to be around but nevertheless a good teacher (fanboy of the Tang dynasty's culture but boi this guy is horrible type of relationship)

Since China historically favoured Korea (with benefits) it makes sense for South Korea to get along with China (considering that Silla's territories are South Korean and Goguryeo North Korea's and Silla played smarts by having Tang back them into fighting against Baekje and Goguryeo) but for most of the history it seems that Japanese and Chinese interactions were chaotic, with the Ningbo incident, the battle of baekgang and battle of imjin river where China helped Korea to defeat Japanese expansionism.

I am now seeing Japan as kinda of a Zuko to his family (no blood ties)

@thepianistblogsbasedonhumanities: hey, thanks for the very detailed (and interesting) question! this is my personal take on kiku and yao before the 20th century (from my POV as a diaspora Chinese/SEAsian):

- deep cultural influences, intimacy and enmity often go hand-in-hand, for nations that are neighbours—and so it is for Kiku and Yao. This is something I see even for nations I headcanon as siblings by blood—for example, with England and Scotland, Wales, Ireland, regarding the historical impact of English dominance and cultural imperialism on them, both before and after the British Empire became a world power. In the case of Kiku and Yao, I don’t see them as related or ever perceiving the other that way—at most, it was confined to how the Chinese tributary system sometimes deployed familial metaphors (such as how the academic literature describes Ming China and Joseon Korea being likened to a ‘older-younger brother dynamic’ in the Chinese imperial worldview. Likewise, I wouldn’t see Yao or Yong-soo as actually related either).

- for Yao and Kiku specifically, a somewhat regicidal mentor-protégé dynamic: as you point out, Sino-Japanese conflicts existed long before Japan was influenced by Western empires. How I see it: while Alfred and other circling Western powers did alter Kiku’s attitude towards Yao and Yong-soo from what it was during isolationism, Japanese imperial ambitions are not new in the larger sweep of 2000+ years of history. Kiku might have waged the 1894 Sino-Japanese War and annexation of Korea in western uniforms and with a westernized military—but it still mirrors the 16th century Imjin/Chongyu Wars and the 663 CE Battle of Baekgang in the pattern of Sino-Japanese conflicts involving Korea. If anything, imo, some of Kiku’s ambitious streak comes from Yao’s influence (rather than simply copying the Western powers). After all, even during those calm stretches where he and Yao were on friendly terms, he’s watching Yao doing what empires do—i.e the conquest of the “Baiyue” tribes who originally lived in Southern China, of Vietnam, or the Ming war against the Sinhalese kingdom of Kotte during Zheng He’s voyages.

- while by modern standards, this does seem like a tumultuous relationship, I see the helltalias being more accustomed to this, existing in eras where empire and warfare were treated as normalised byproducts of international relations. I feel like Kiku alternatingly admires, envies and resents Yao (sometimes all at once), but all the same, I don’t think he always found Yao uniquely horrible—if only because he never expected a man who is an empire to be nurturing or soft (even if Yao is capable of showing that side when he wants to). I’m a bit fuzzy re: when they first meet, but if I take the Han dynasty/ Yayoi period (based on the earliest found mention of Japan in Chinese records)? This is the era of the Roman, Persian and Gupta empires—and like them, Han dynasty Yao is also a conqueror. He's rather what Kiku expects of an empire: kind of great, terrible, intimidating and fascinating culturally all at once. From Kiku’s POV, Yao is a man comfortable with a sword as he is an inkbrush, a warlord occupied with political schemes—but also the sort who would halt his warhorse to admire the plum blossoms by the Yangtze river and compose a poem. During those Japanese embassies to the subsequent Tang dynasty, I see it similarly—for all the cosmopolitan artistic developments Kiku’s keen to learn about, he’s well aware of the Tang expansion into Central Asia, and of course the Battle of Baekgang in Korea where he’s actually at war with Yao.

- Imo, pre-20th century Kiku still tended to regard Yao as a sort of standard for what “power” and “civilization” looked like. In that vein, I headcanon the Opium Wars being more uniquely shocking to Kiku compared to the Manchu or Mongol conquests of China—while both had enormous repercussions, the Opium Wars represented a more drastic overturning of the Chinese worldview—including those tenets Kiku incorporated into his own culture centuries ago. Now, it seems as though all this is ossified, irrelevant and decadent—next to Western industrialisation and ways of thinking. We might think, but regimes come and go, don't they? However, Kiku’s accustomed to Yao being atop the hierarchy for centuries, or at least being regarded as culturally sophisticated, even by his enemies (the Manchu and Mongols both being open to adopting certain elements of Chinese culture, even if partly motivated by fostering a sense of legitimacy with the larger population). And so, even when Kiku was in a long-term and intensely romantic relationship with Jan/Johan (Ned) and was learning about Western culture from him before 1853, he still retained many of his Chinese-influenced customs (such as Confucian philosophy or the way the kimono was influenced by the Chinese hanfu).

-  so, overall—my personal take on Kiku and Yao before the 20th century is deep cultural influence, steeped in a complicated and contradictory relationship. Ultimately, I also feel this sort of Janus-faced dynamic isn’t unprecedented between neighbouring nations who have a long history together. And they clash because they’re similar in some ways; having a deep vein of artistry, but also sharp-edged pride and ambition. Yao regards him as an upstart: perhaps a good learner who is savvy at adapting and incorporating what he learns—but also a troublemaker who needs to be reminded his place (Imjin/Chongyu Wars, the Ningbo Incident etc). For his part, imo, Kiku doesn’t really try to deny that Yao is his mentor and during calmer eras, admiration might be stronger than envy or resentment for Yao—but personality-wise, imo Kiku has a strong streak of pride and ambition— and not enough reverence to always accept the Chinese imperial hierarchy.

[swiftcola]

okay so i like m3. love it even. the story, the characters, the setting. but obviously it suffers massively from the repetitive uninspired gameplay replacing what could've been a story-rich experience. i've made a few posts before about how i wish it had been and like m3 i like repeating myself so. here's more

the game starts out like any other mafia game. lincoln spends maybe five chapter's worth of time with sammy and ellis before they die. then he recruits cassandra, vito, burke, by helping them kill certain people & establish home territory. there's the sit down, and then the main story splits into 3 separate storylines you can play anytime and in any order. still free roam, so you can explore the map and do whatever, and the missions would appear as icons, like in gta for example. the gameplay is completely different, there's no missions that require hours running around repeating the same 3 tasks. instead you go on missions with the bosses or their seconds (nicki, emmanuel, alma). all of the 3 routes have a set story, enemy rackets, and enemy lieutenants, etc. that each of your 3 bosses wants to take over: for business or personal reasons. missions will be as diverse as they were in mde and m2. after completing a mission, a stronghold will appear on the map (the racket warehouses). but instead of all that prep work you usually have to do, you can just go in and take these over in one go. taking the strongholds isn't required, but doing so bolsters your income and changes ally attitudes towards you: from distrusting but co-operative to appreciative and even loyal. after taking them, lincoln can also make decisions for the better or worse of the city. keep running things this way for a quick payout, or work hard and improve things, invest, for a better city in the long-run.

burke is in a bad way, and about a third of the way into his storyline, he's hospitalised and nicki has to step up. vito dies, passing the mafia franchise baton onto lincoln, just as tommy's death secured vito as the new protagonist. i think it would be a fitting death for him to go out on his own terms after all the shit he's been through. go out taking someone down, finally making a change for the better, sticking it to the mob. i think he would sacrifice himself during the final mission in his storyline, the fight against his designated enemy capo, to ensure lincoln & alma can escape.

sorry, but there's no john donovan. a change of gameplay would make him pretty useless. and imo the initial dossiers he produces for lincoln are just so redundant. the game establishes connections between lincoln and the haitians, burke & vito, before john even arrives. and honestly i don't think there's anything donovan can tell us that we couldn't learn from our local allies. instead, he's replaced with a solider. the only other guy lincoln shipped out with who survived. they say goodbye to each other just before ellis picks lincoln up. drifting in and out of consciousness, lincoln asks father james to find him. his last brother. lincoln swears up and down that they're equals but the two naturally fall into a kind of military hierarchy. lincoln orders him around and he's more than willing to help. perhaps he's also been struggling to return to civilian life, and despite being traumatised by war, he welcomes the structure & purpose lincoln gives him. this man becomes lincoln's second, handles things for him, gathers recon. he approaches lincoln a few times, wanting to talk about his feelings and what happened in vietnam. lincoln can either choose to ignore him ("i don't want to talk about it.") or listen, comfort, and connect with him. if lincoln ignores him too many times, he ends up dying somehow.

i haven't put much thought into who gets which rackets/enemies specifically, but i know cassandra would want to take out the southern union. this gets her frisco fields if i remember correctly, and i think this could introduce a very interesting series of side quests in which you help the voice (or possibly roxy) bring about serious change in this district. i've thought about them helping Black folks move in, protecting them. those first few people will be met with serious resistance, but lincoln helping them to stand their ground will pave the way for more to come. eventually you get cassandra-protected Black businesses, and lincoln can now enter buildings and stores that were previously segregated, opening up more of the map. i know segregation doesn't work that simply, but i'm thinking in terms of expanding gameplay while still keeping m3's discussion of important issues. father james gets his own sidequests too, which help to bring lincoln back down to earth and shine more light on his background, motivations etc. (actually fleshed out with cutscenes and action etc. instead of just going over to talk to him and swiftly moving on) and of course our solider would get his own sidequests. that means the 3 sidequest givers, the voice, father james, and the soldier, each illuminate some different struggle lincoln is going through.

following the death of sal's capos, the storylines reconnect, your 3 bosses reunite (now cassandra, nicki, and alma (i think this would have to depend on your loyalty level with vito and alma. low loyalty alma could possibly turn against lincoln for getting vito killed): who get along much better), and the last few missions are about taking the fight directly to sal. lincoln is not in this alone, he has a lot of allies now who help him push into the casino and up the levels. how much care lincoln gives to others and to the city will be reflected back on him at the end. if he took over ruthlessly and used people carelessly, you get a bad ending. if he helped others and tried to change things for the better, he gets a good ending, etc.

misc stuff: vehicle stores (cars, boats, bikes), purchasing property (businesses, safe houses, garages, boat storehouses), clothing stores, and recreational activities PLEASE

[softcallofdutyimagines]

The crew with their soulmate headcannons

Ok, to make it up to y'all for the angst yesterday, here's a response to the death by broken heart post 😌

This one goes out to @smokeywhalee since I've had her crying for the past like three posts 💀💀😂 I also snuck in a little something to the Weaver one for @direwolfspostsrandomshit and I specifically 😌💅🏻

No warnings, just a very long post and lots of fluff lol

Adler

You two met when he was still young, before he even joined the CIA

Back when he was a goofy, carefree kid who didn't know better

You've been with him through so much by now, that he knows he can always count on you when something's bothering him

There's no one he trusts more in the whole world

Adler knew you were the one around the time he got his scars

He thought for sure you'd leave him, thinking he looked like some kind of monster with half his face bandaged and bloodied like it is

But when he came home from the hospital, you were so overjoyed to see him again, it's like the bandages weren't even there

You kissed his face and helped him clean and dress the stitches and cuts everyday until they healed

With you there to give him all that affection, he's never let his scars make him feel any less then handsome

Of course, it doesn't hurt that you remind him often

Even now, he never tires of you kissing his scars

Hudson

You and Hudson met in college, back when he was a shy, nerdy outcast

It's not like you were exactly popular, but you at least had some social circles to run in

He never thought someone like you would even look twice at someone like him, but...

He's been wrong before

One day you decided to give him a chance, maybe just see what his story is, and you've never looked back since

Hudson's life path calls for the utmost secrecy for nearly everything, and you've lost contact with a handful of people because of it

But you've never complained

If anything, you consider it their loss for losing you

That's how Hudson knew you were the one

You have an undefeatable, never give up attitude and can find the silver lining in just about everything you put your mind to

And of course... You indulge him in his love of head rubs

It's you and his best kept secret of all

Lazar

You've known each other since you were just kids

For him, it was puppy love at first sight, and he was crushing hard before he knew it

But... He was always insecure about his weight, being a bit chunky as a kid and all

He was afraid of rejection because of it

A shame really, since you would've loved him no matter what

But as fate would have it, you stayed friends all the way up until highschool where sports had him shedding weight like crazy

All the fluctuation has left him with stretch marks, some loose skin, and a belly pouch, but luckily growing up gave him enough confidence to make up for it

He asked you to the senior dance your last year of highschool, and later that night you shared your first kiss behind the bleachers outside

You were his first kiss ever

Lazar always knew you were the one

You've been his closest friend and biggest supporter since you were kids on a playground

He just wanted to make himself feel worthy of you first

No one else makes him feel as comfortable in his skin as you do, and only you are allowed the special honor of touching his body

A gift you exercise frequently when you cuddle him at night

Mason

Alex didn't meet you until after Vietnam and the whole... brainwashing business

After trying and trying for years only to end up with an ever growing list of failed relationships, he just assumed he was too damaged to love

Besides, he's getting a bit older now... Maybe he's just not meant to find someone

Or so he thinks

He meets you randomly in public, on an ordinary day in an ordinary place

You two happen to hit a conversation and it just keeps going and going...

Until finally you exchange numbers and begin seeing each other more frequently

And that's when Alex knows you're the one, he can just... feel it deep down

But it isn't until one, vulnerable night, when he tells you about his past and the war and.... Well, everything, that he knows for sure

With so much fear being pushed about the Russian threat and all that, he thought for sure the knowledge that he's been a brainwashed sleeper agent once would scare you away

It was a shock for sure, but... You aren't afraid of him, in fact, you feel sympathetic for his plight of anything

Alex doesn't need your sympathy, mind, but he is thankful for the empathy

That's all he wants, really

That, and someone who'll hold him through the nightmares at night

Looks like he lucked out there too :)

Park

She met you as a fellow agent through MI6

Things were purely professional for a looooong time

But she must admit though, you're quite charismatic, cunning, and frankly?

Adorable

Helen's not quite sure when the joking, friendly flirting turned serious but...

She's glad for it

You ask her out on a date first and things go well

More then well

She doesn't kiss and tell, but let's just say... She knows you're the one

You always have her back on the field and off

You're her closest friend and confident

She's breaking the rules by cluing you in on the goings on with the hunt for perseus and all, but there's no one here she trusts more for feedback and brainstorming

But it's probably a good thing you're not in the safehouse, considering you almost killed someone after the skyhook debacle

She rolls her eyes at your fussing, but you swear to never let her go again

And you know what? Park may not show it, but she loves how much you care for her

Perseus

He met you back in the ussr, when he still looked like his picture

You two grew close in your service to the government, and you were one of the first people he trusted to try and recruit for his operation

When you didn't even hesitate to say yes, that's when he knew you were the one

You've already proven yourself and impressed him with your wit and integrity in your service to the ussr

In fact, few have ever stood out to him in such a way as you have

All he needed to know was if you trusted him and truly believed in a better future

Many are jelous to see you running around with the exceptionally handsome man, but perseus was never one to get hung up on looks

However, he's glad you enjoy his appearance as much as you do his mind

Together, you raise hell for the capitalists, bringing a true biting edge to the cold war threat

In return for your loyalty, he does all he can to keep you a secret, both as his lover and his accomplice

If anything happened to you like what happened to Bell...

He would take the fight to your captors himself

And they wouldn't stand a chance...

Weaver

He met you through working in Requiem

You're one of the strike team operators, but you spend a fair amount of time talking with the consultants and himself back at base

Weaver finds you a little intimidating, but in a good kind of way

Sort of how he use to be back in the day

When he realizes he may or may not have a little thing for you, he suddenly becomes very shy

He's afraid to try and make a move on you because surely rejection would be the only outcome?

After all, he's way too far past his prime by now, missing an eye and slowly letting himself fall out of shape

It's a mess

So why haven't you just moved on from him yet...?

Doctor Grey seems strangely invested in this little one sided romance, so with a bit of help, he manages to ask you out for coffee

The last thing he expected was for you to say yes

It's not until the day that you almost don't make it back to base that he realizes how very much you mean to him

Weaver stays with you as frequently as he can while you recover and can often be found cuddling you in your med bay bed (bc why the hell not?) or at home

He has to pull back a little on visiting you in the med bay however

He's starting to get teased for how much he loves all the head pets, jaw scratches, and tummy rubs you give him while you're bored and resting

Carver has now begun addressing him as "Fido" with no end in sight

Woods

He meets you out at the marine base he spends all his time at

It was one of the many occasions that he was doing target practice at the range, and he today he's caught you watching him

At first he honestly didn't think much of it, but of course he took the opportunity to show off a little

He succeeded in managing to lure you over with his skills, where you came to stroke his ego a bit

For that, he offers to show you some pointers and before either of you know it, target practice together becomes a regular occurance

From there, anything more social is up to you to initiate

He's a bit taken aback when you invite him out to do something off base sometime, but... He accepts

Once out of his element, he's like a whole other person

You're surprised to find that he's a lot more shy and little more warm towards you

You find it adorable

That starts the slippery path to how he knows you're the one

You're the only person he truly feels like he can be himself with

Everyone else expects the hardened sargent, and while that is still him...

He never feels like he has an opportunity to share his softer side

You can never complain about being cold or lonely with him around

Frank loves nothing more then cuddling with you whenever and wherever he can

Not only is it just, well, nice, to have the human contact, but it makes him feel like he gets to protect you

And nothing makes him happier then to see you safe :)

[hetalia-reacts]

Hi, I'm new to the hetalia fandom. And I was wondering can you do soft platonic Yandere Allies and/ or Axis that just discovered a new colony ( I recently just watched Kolkol's video about how countries are born as babies ). So what is the Allies going to do when they find the new baby ( their a tiny newborn btw ) country peacefully sleeping in a pretty flower field. And when the new country wakes up, they start squealing happily and star reaching out to them with a cute gummy smile. Now the countries has new baby sister.

I like this idea~ Also welcome to the fandom! I’m an old fan back from the dead for season 7 ^^

America

Alfred was kind of lost at first when he saw a literal baby laying in a field of flowers

I mean even as a yandere he would never do something like leave a child to die

This is about when he realizes that maybe the kid wasn’t actually a human child, but the new colony he’s heard about

It’s 100% likely that Alfred has never seen a baby country before, not a newborn and not a chibi one either

The closest he’s seen to a baby country was probably Sealand

Alfred was about to pick up the kid and pawn them off to someone else because he’s got important things to do, but they opened their eyes and looked right at him

And then the kid smiled?? Reaching out for him??

You could literally hear his psyche snap

Alfred decides then and there that no one would be getting a hold of this kid other than him

He really changes more than he ever has when he has his yandere moments

Alfred become exactly what this kid needs, a responsible big brother that protects and teaches them, and by god does he do his job

This child will never know sadness, yes even if Alfred is a yandere and has his more violent moments where he basically barricades the child inside he could never truly hurt them

No one will ever lay a hand on them without facing the consequences

I also suspect that because this child is well, a baby, and will never be a love interest to him, Alfred will allow the child to leave and be somewhat free once they get older and can care for themselves

His condition though is that they have to call him and visit him every so often and tell him everything, even about the guy that bumped into them without apologizing 2 weeks ago

Canada

Matthew is very confused at first

I mean what kind of monster leaves a defenseless newborn out in a field of flowers?

It’s only when he sees the child does he realize they aren’t human but in fact the new colony that was near Canada

He never planned to not raise this child, I mean it was near him and he’d be damned if he was letting Alfred care for this baby instead

However, the baby finally opened its eyes and immediately started smiling and laughing at him, even trying to grab onto him

Matthew kind of gets a dark aura around him, if anyone were to have seen him at this moment they probably wouldn’t even recognize him

It’s at this moment he decides to be this baby’s big brother forever, to protect them, to keep them away from war and everything else that could hurt them even at his own expense

Matthew doesn’t change much, he’s already very responsible and he knows the basic baby care

But his attitude is different around others now

Unlike Alfred who would keep the baby away from others Matthew will at the very least show them to those he trusts, so France or Cuba, maybe even England too

He wouldn’t hesitate to snatch them up or even yell at whoever is holding them too long or making them cry

Matthew won’t let the child go far once they grow up

They may not have to live with him, but they aren’t going to leave for their country by themselves or live in a completely different province than him

He just has to protect the baby, even when they aren’t a baby anymore,

he will even lose his polite Canadian facade to protect them

England

This isn’t Arthur’s first rodeo

he knows from the moment he sees the baby in the flowers what happened and what it means

And what it means is that he’s a big brother again

Already without even getting close to the baby does he decide to kill anyone who would dare hurt them or take them away

But when he does get closer and they wake up giggling and reaching for him

Oh boy is he all the more smitten and determined now

The baby will likely never see anyone other than him or ever even learn about anyone other than him and themselves

Arthur is afraid they’ll choose someone over him and leave him all alone again

so he just refuses to tell them anything other than the edited version of British history and the baby’s history

He will fight and destroy anyone who comes to see the baby or tries to tell him he’s acting insane

He just doesn’t buy it, this is normal big brother behavior, it’s his duty to protect and shield them from the world

As stated before the baby will likely know nothing other than him when they grow up, they won’t be allowed to leave either

He’ll make up any excuse to keep them inside

Kind of like a Tangled situation where he tells scary stories of the outside to make them fear ever leaving his house or its perimeters

France

Just like Arthur, he knew the second he saw the child that it was no ordinary human baby

Francis was going to take care of them regardless of what or who the baby was

He was content and already falling in love with the baby while it was peacefully sleeping

But then they opened their eyes and squealed in happiness at seeing him!!

Francis’ yandere side becomes more apparent after this point

He’s also one of the few who would raise the baby to call him papa or dad, while he likes being big brother he feels it’s different in this situation since he’s going to raise them from their newborn state

The baby will only see people Francis approves of, people he knows won’t steal the baby away from him or convince him he wasn’t stable enough to raise them

So Canada, Monaco, and Seychelles

England will never even know of the child, Francis can’t trust that he won’t try and fight him for the baby

He will tell the baby everything, the child will grow up knowing the world, but Francis twists some things to boost himself and his history up so that his child will always hold him in high regards

The baby will never lift a finger growing up, Francis will do everything for them

Clothes, accessories, decor, entertainment, food, pets, anything the child asked for would be placed at their feet

That’s kind of Francis’ plot to keep the child with him forever

They won’t want to leave and live on their own if they don’t know how to do anything without him

But he would let them leave if they really wanted to, they would have to live close by though

He needs to come and visit them as often as he wants and possibly figure out who he needs to get rid of if his baby ever gets hurt

Russia

While I don’t think Ivan has had any experience seeing or raising a newborn nation he knows what the baby is

He’s concerned though, this child is a new colony more than likely near his home, so it must be freezing out here for the little thing

He feels for it, his yandere side is angry and protective for the small baby, how could Mother Nature just birth them in such a cold and unforgiving place

He plans to keep the baby after holding them, he becomes attached just like that, I mean they were so cute sleeping like that totally unaware of everything

Ah but then they open their eyes and reach out for him, laughing and happy to see him

His crueler side agrees that anyone and everyone must suffer if they attempt to steal his little sunshine away

Even Belarus won’t scare him anymore when it comes to his new little sibling

Since Russia is known to not have friends no one will be seeing the baby, and Belarus might catch a glimpse but will otherwise not be allowed to ever interact with them

Lithuania might be the only one allowed to ever see the baby actually, Ivan likes him the most and if he were to come over he would allow Lithuania the honor of meeting and even holding you

He just better be careful

Ivan will protect them from everyone, even his own sisters

The baby won’t grow up knowing anything about the world other than it is cruel and unforgiving to people like them

Ivan will make sure that the child depends on him and him alone as a provider and protector

He won’t let them leave his house, the baby, the colony, their people, it’s his, and he promises to take good care of them

Everyone who gets close to the child will ultimately disappear if they seem to begin liking them more than Ivan, and no one is allowed to be a big brother or even sister other than himself

China

Yao of course knows a baby country when he sees one

This was the perfect spot, after all, a nice flowery field with no human town or village nearby

Perfect for nurturing a newborn country and also incredibly unlikely that it was a living human newborn

When he gets close enough to see them fully his yandere possessive side is already going crazy, he wants to protect them and be their big brother more than he wants to breathe

And it doesn’t help any when they finally wake up from sleeping and excitedly reach for him

Yao feels so loved at that moment

He decides only a few will see the new baby, Japan, Vietnam, and maybe South Korea

These are people that probably won’t do much to stop him from raising and being possessive over the baby

Japan and Vietnam surely won’t start a war to stop him and he won’t mind any rude comments they may make towards him since he will just cut them off from his life and South Korea wants his approval so if anything he’d support Yao’s decision

The baby will grow up sheltered, only hearing the good things about China and Chinese history

he will teach them very little about other Asian cultures and probably nothing of Western cultures

The only exception was if their culture was considered Western, then he would teach only their western culture to them that approved of

The baby was also never going to get the option to leave

Yao will raise them so they can be strong when he isn’t there but he won’t raise them to be completely independent

Surprisingly though, he would let them live on their own, even in their own country, when the time comes, but they will never truly be free

they will always be a part of China and he will make sure of it

Germany

Ludwig is also very clueless as to what the baby is

I mean, obviously a baby, but it’s strange how someone left them here considering it was quite a ways away from the nearest town and this baby didn’t look old enough to be more than a few days old

He will eventually realize that they were a colony that popped up near Germany

This is where his possessiveness starts, they were his colony in his mind and he was going to be their big brother

Ludwig gets really hooked however when they open their eyes from sleeping and make such cute happy noises he can’t help but become scarily possessive and protective over them

No one but a few of the other Germanic countries will see the child

Prussia is a given, though Ludwig is not afraid to threaten, reprimand, or cut him off for anything dangerous or harmful he may do to the baby

And Austria and Hungary will see his new sibling, though he will be keeping a close eye on Hungary as she is the biggest threat to taking them away from him

The baby will grow up cared for and knowledgeable but will follow a strict way of life

They aren’t to mock him or others, they must exercise and train, they must study history and learn about the past both their own and others, Ludwig values intelligence and strength and wishes them onto his sibling

He will not tolerate anyone messing with them however, even if they become strong or stronger than him he will always protect them in the long run since he doesn’t mind getting his hands dirty for revenge

Ludwig would let the child leave when they got older, out of everyone he is the least possessive when they grow up

His yandere tendencies seem to have only been strongly attached to baby them and while he would certainly destroy anyone who messed with them, he isn’t as possessive as he used to be, just protective now

Italy

Feliciano knows what that little baby in the flower field is

I mean, he was once one and Grandpa Rome often told him about when he found him and his older brother

He wasn’t sure if he could raise the baby though

He knows he isn’t super strong, not the best role model sometimes too, so he planned to see if someone like Austria or Spain would want to raise them

That all changed when they opened their eyes and immediately reached out for him in happiness

His more possessive yandere self couldn’t help but get immediately enamored by their charm

Since Feliciano got attached and he’s yandere, he becomes stingy with the baby

No one gets to see them, not Austria, Hungary, especially not Germany, Japan, or even Romano would be allowed to see the baby

Feliciano feels like they would outshine him, if he allowed the baby to look at them and see how much more capable they were he knew they wouldn’t stay with him

Because while he could and will kill for the child, he can’t fight fairly or intimidate anyone like the others could

He would teach them everything about Italy though! And of course their own culture too

But he would leave out everything else and always avoid teaching them about anyone else

The child would also be spoiled, Feliciano is similar to Francis in that aspect

He just wants them to be happy and to rely on him

They probably would never get to leave his house though, he really is stingy and really good at manipulating them into staying

Feliciano just really wants to be depended on for as long as he can get them too

Japan

Kiku knew what this child was

I mean, they obviously weren’t a human as they surely would’ve died at this point or even be crying hysterically for help

He had no plans to raise them, yandere or not, he’s still not the fondest of touch and them being a child didn’t help as they would not understand the concept of personal space or not wanting to be touched

So he was about ready to phone China or even Germany for help

But before he could do anything the baby woke up, smiling and cooing at him as if they were waiting for him and loved him already

You can hear his last shred of non-yandere sanity and rationality snap

He immediately becomes protective of them

They would be his little colony, he would take care of them and their people and he would make sure there was never any problems

No one would see them and they would never be allowed to make human friends either

He would isolate them from everyone, even to the point where he ruins his own progress of coming out of his shell just so they can isolate themselves together

He will make sure the child comes to know the world as a lovely and beautiful place, but one that they should never see without him

His sibling becomes spoiled, but unlike Italy and France, the child isn’t going to be waited on or just simply given everything

They will be spoiled by everything they could ever want but it’s only if they behave

No mentioning leaving or visiting places unless he brought it up and they must be respectful

Kiku will not be the big brother or someone who doesn’t know at the very least basic manners and respect

The child won’t be leaving when they grow up either, if anything Kiku would’ve successfully discouraged them from wanting to be social and molded them into basically a mini him

Romano

Lovino unlike Feliciano probably did not ever get told how he came to be or what a newborn colony/country looks like

So he definitely thinks someone just left a human baby in some flowers

Eventually, it will click that hey, a new colony appeared, a baby in a flower patch far away from any humans but relatively close to Southern Italy, ah it’s a baby country

Lovino most definitely won’t want the baby at first, he’s got some...other...priorities and some issues

He wants to call Spain asap and get the kid somewhere relatively safe

But as he’s walking away with the kid it opens its eyes and reaches out for him happily squealing

Any rationality Lovino may have had is gone now, everything his yandere side craves, love, affection, dependency, it’s all this child could give him by being his little sibling

As seen, he wants to be praised by his brother so this baby is like his second chance, his saving grace to be successful and a hero in someone’s eyes

Because of this the child will never meet anyone, he can’t afford for them to meet Feliciano or Spain because he knows deep down they would certainly like them more than him

Lovino will teach them about Southern Italy, about their culture, and maybe even about some Northern Italian and Spanish culture and traditions but under the guise that it was actually his

He won’t want this child to know anything but him and his house, no friends, no family other than him, he would make the child a recluse

He’s not necessarily the nicest sometimes, he’s prone to aggravate easily and he hates when they mention outside or seeing other people so sometimes he can come off as a little mean

But he always apologizes to them and makes it up to them since he wants them to be happy and to love him

The child won’t be allowed to be independent and leave, Lovino really will do anything to keep them together because he really doesn’t want to lose them or their love

Prussia

Gilbert is old let’s face it, he knows a newborn country when he sees one

I mean he’s likely helped raise a lot of Germanic countries and states before so this is nothing new

He obviously wants to be the baby’s new older brother, he doesn’t need any more convincing or thinking on that matter

It’s just when the baby did wake up and start squealing and reaching out for him, Gilbert realizes this won’t be the same as raising Germany

He can instantly feel the deep connection, the deep need to protect and shelter them for the rest of time

The possessiveness to not let anyone see the baby or take their attention away from him is immense

So that’s what he does

He stops relying on Germany, moves out, and forbids anyone and everyone from ever entering or coming to his home

He can't afford for this child to meet anyone else, he knows he’s no one’s favorite in the end and they would pick someone else

He knows this baby would choose Germany, Austria, or Hungary over him in a heartbeat so he won’t give them the chance

He teaches the child about Prussian history only, he wants his new sibling to be raised on his same values and culture

He wants them to feel a kinship with him and him alone

He will also isolate them from everyone since no one is coming and he would never let them anyways

he puts his own mind at ease by telling them scary stories about war, wars like he’s been in so that they will never have the urge to go out and think he is undefeatable and strong

Prussia, along with Russia, is another very big one that would very much destroy even another country if they tried to mess with his new sibling and/or steal them away

[ca-8]

Teen!Nigel Uno x Teen!Reader Scenario (When You First Meet)

The glowing sunlight shined through the window and bathed the back of a highschool student. (Y/n) sat in the near-back of the classroom with her head resting on her hand, and doodling in her journal with the other. She was hardly paying attention to what her history teacher was saying and felt that she didn't need to, since she already had her notes jotted down. She just let her mind roam free without any care in the world...

"...(Y/n) and Nigel, you will be working together," Ms. Davis said, interrupting the sixteen-year-old's thoughts.

(Y/n) finally, put her attention onto the teacher as soon as her name was called. When she did, her gaze caught a boy secretly staring back at her, but after their eyes met, he quickly faced forward.

Once the teacher was finished with the list of names, she said, "Your history project will be worth half of your grade, so it'll be best to plan on what you're going to do. For the last ten minutes of class, get with your partner, and discuss what you'll be doing."

With that, everyone moved to the people they were assigned to. (Y/n) assumed that the boy looking back at her was her partner, so she grabbed her notebook and moved to the front of the class.

"Yo," she greeted, and the boy shot his dark eyes up to her. (Y/n) sat down next to him and he looked as if he tensed up. "You're Nigel, aren't you?"

The boy cleared his throat and looked at her with new confidence. "Yes. And you're (Y/n)..." he answered in a strong British accent. "...Correct?"

"Nah, I'm actually an undercover spy with a totally different name."

Nigel froze in his spot while his eyes widened. (Y/n) let out a breath as a form of a laugh. "I'm kidding. Yeah, I'm (Y/n). So, uh, what're you thinking about doing for the project?"

He relaxed for a moment, and (Y/n) thought she saw the disappointment in his eyes for a brief second. "Oh, well I was thinking that we could do the Vietnam War, and each of us can have a turn on doing the slides. Do you want to do the voice over or the research?" he asked.

(Y/n) blinked. "Ah, uh, I guess..." she mumbled.

"...You didn't pay attention, did you?" Nigel predicted, and (Y/n) nervously laughed.

"Yeah, hehe..." she said.

To her surprise, Nigel chuckled. "It's alright. Basically all we're doing is a slide presentation with voice over," he explained with a smile.

"Huh. Sounds easy enough," she said.

Nigel's eyes then trailed over from her and to her notebook where all of her little notes and drawings were exposed. (Y/n) looked over to where he was staring at and blushed, and quickly hid it behind her back.

"SO you wanted to do Vietnam?!" She talked fast, raising her voice.

"(Y/n), please keep your voice at an appropriate level!" the teacher scolded before going back to her computer.

A wave of embarrassment washed over her, and (Y/n) blushed and sunk in her chair while Nigel was about to burst out laughing.

"If you didn't want me to see your notebook, then why did you bring it over here?" he asked, his hand under his chin.

"I was just gonna read my notes to you..." (Y/n) grumbled, her voice softer than before.

Nigel was going to open his mouth to say something else, but the bell suddenly rang before he could. (Y/n) stood up and gave Nigel a calm smile with the notebook. "Guess we'll have to try again tomorrow. It was nice meeting you, Nigel," she said.

His eyes softened to the point where they almost seemed sad, and his grin seemed like it was wider.

"It was nice to meet you too, (Y/n)," he said.

"Nigel."

The two turned their heads over to see a boy standing in front of Nigel's desk, his backpack over one shoulder. Despite the fact that his blond hair was covering half of his face, (Y/n) could feel the seriousness that was radiating from him.

Nigel frowned and quietly grabbed his stuff. He gave one last look at (Y/n) before he exited the classroom. The boy with blond hair gave her an emotionless stare, then followed after him, leaving her with a suspicious on her face. 'Um...alright.'

~

"(Y/n), can you take the trash out?" (Y/N)'s mother called from the kitchen.

"Okay!" (Y/n) replied, then took her headphones out from her ears and made her way to the kitchen. Passing her mother, who was doing some sort of paperwork on her desk, (Y/n) took the almost overflowing trash out from the bin, tied it up, and went towards the back door.

"Oh, and the trash bin is in the front yard," her mother mentioned, pointing her pen towards the front door.

(Y/n) nodded and changed her direction. While moving to the front door with the trash bag in her hand, she thought about the boy in her history class.

She has seen before in the hallways in the lunchroom. (Y/n) didn't pay too much attention to him, but she did note how he had this intelligent-sounding attitude in his group of friends, including that blond boy from earlier. Nigel wasn't exactly rude, but instead strict like he never joked around in his life. That was the main vibe (Y/n) had gotten from him. Even when he was around other people, he would act the same.

Yet, whenever (Y/n) saw him glance at him, the seriousness in his eyes would vanish in an instant. If that wasn't weird enough, every time she saw his eyes, a faint feeling of nostalgia took over her.

(Y/n) opened the front door and closed it behind her, feeling the cool autumn breeze. The streetlights illuminated the dark street of her neighborhood along with the bright full moon. The calming night soothed (Y/n)'s suspension of her classmate, but not completely.

As she walked to the large trash bins that were on the corner edge of the driveway, Nigel's attitude was still stuck with her. (Y/n) expected him to tell her everything he wanted her to do as soon as she sat next to him. Yet he was so calm...

'Maybe I'm overreacting,' (Y/n) thought, opening the trash lid. 'I mean, why should I dig so deep into this? I hardly know him. And he probably just wanted to be nice, or something-'

"MMF!" (Y/n)'s voice of surprise was muffled when something was suddenly put over her mouth. Her vision faded, and her grip on the trash bag was loose as her body quickly went limp. Before drowning in complete darkness, all (Y/n) saw was a wicked smile.

Her vision was blurry, but (Y/n) could still see a figure not too far away from her. It was a tall person who had something white over their body. The room they were in had some tables and some sort of equipment she couldn't see.

The figure was saying something she couldn't hear. It walked to the right and grabbed something off of the table, which looked more like a colorful handheld weapon once her vision started settling in. (Y/n) then felt a helmet snap onto her head. She shook her head, and her heart stopped when she realized a man in a lab coat was pointing a gun-like device right at her.

"...And everyone on Earth will bow down to their new master!" the man said, and he put his finger on the trigger.

BOOM!

The door blew open and flew right past (Y/n). While the scientist was turned around, (Y/n) used the opportunity to try to stand up, but her entire body was sore and the helmet was like a boulder on her head. Two people ran into the room and shoved the scientist aside, then quickly went to (Y/n). Her head was still spinning, so she could only see the people's goggles and magenta hat.

"Are you alright? Can you walk?" the person with goggles and a familiar voice asked. (Y/n) groaned in response.

"Come on, we don't have much time," a deeper voice pointed out. (Y/n) felt her arm being swung over someone's shoulders, and with the people he felt like she met before, she exited the room.

The next room they went in was dark. (Y/n)'s head was pounding, so she closed her eyes and let her head hang down. "Is she okay?" another voice worriedly asked.

(Y/n)'s eyes opened slightly. "Nigel?" she asked, feeling her body trembling. A blurry that looked exactly like him appeared in her vision.

"I'm gonna take you home, (Y/n)," he said, almost in a whisper. He turned his head and barked orders to whoever else was in the room.

She didn't know what happened next, but (Y/n) felt herself being picked up in bridal style and hearing deafening noises of things crashing and exploding. One moment, her body felt as if it was thrusting in all sorts of directions, and in the next, it felt as light as a feather.

(Y/n) looked up and saw the person with the goggles. Her body was bouncing, so she thought the person carrying her was running. The cool breeze hit her skin again, and when she thought she was safan explosion flying out of the person's arms. Her head was hit against something hard, and she was sent back to sleep.

(Y/n) eyes fluttered open. Her vision was a little more clear and she could see Nigel standing above her. Something soft was below her, and the room they were in was hers.

Her eyelids slowly drooped, feeling an abrupt wave of sleepiness. Her bed moved slightly, creaking, and something soft was pushed up against her forehead for a second. (Y/n) opened her eyes once more, seeing that she was the only one in the room.

[allisoooon]

Klaus, Addiction, and CodeBendency Part Four | The Dependent: It’s About Isolation, Not Addiction

This is the crux of it—Klaus’ character arc is not really about his addiction.  Even his addiction isn’t really about his addiction. No one’s is.  It’s another piece of baggage, but it’s a piece of baggage the addict takes on in response to pain.  Something I previously said was that Klaus has chosen the master he can bear. The other masters, the fear, shame, and memories of his father, that’s all something he’s still running from.  His addiction is a reaction.  And even though he relapsed, he has made tremendous strides in terms of what his character arc is really about.  It’s the thing that’s been found to have the single biggest effect on addiction and sobriety: isolation.

Just look at where he is in the beginning of season one versus the end of season two.  At the beginning of season one, Klaus is terrified of his powers and of the dead, but slowly begins to realize that in terms of his fear, the only way out is through.  More importantly, though, the devil-may-care attitude toward his family changes after he meets Dave and learns that he can, in fact, be loved. The episode of his return, he begins to really bond with his siblings, starting with Diego.  At the start of season two, he has been sober for three years, suggesting he has found ways to cope if he hasn’t overcome his fear altogether. In season one, even at the end of it, he’s resistant to the attempts the others make to get him involved and volunteers for practically nothing.  At the end of season two, he is the first to choose to go with Vanya to the farm to help Harlan even though there’s no clear use for his power there.  His usual excuse that his power is “useless” doesn’t stop him—he goes because he doesn’t want Vanya to face the situation alone. That’s a massive difference of attitude. And it’s that change of attitude that makes me feel like he is still making progress against his addiction because he is finally reaching out to his support network and thinking beyond himself.  He still has a long-ass way to go, having not even touched his very pervasive post-traumatic stress from both his childhood and the Vietnam war, and I suspect he’ll be struggling with his grief for Ben for some time, but you know what?  A start’s a start.  And I wasn’t ready for Klaus’ issues to all get solved in two seasons.

All of this progress has been made, and I think it’s a mistake to overlook it strictly because we’re seeing Ben and Klaus’ relationship closer-up than before.  I don’t think Klaus is more of an asshole this season.  He was an asshole last season, too.  Two things are different this season: he endures less new trauma so we feel less sorry for him, and we’re being shown more instances of how unhealthy his relationship with Ben really is.  Klaus gets the blame for the latter because, and I will go into greater detail on this in the next post, codependents are seen as selfless and good by society’s standards while addicts are seen as losers and bad people.  Yes, Klaus is shitty to Ben sometimes, but the reverse is true as well.  People just see Ben’s actions differently because they are motivated by another person, as if that alone makes them good actions.  Klaus has made a lot of progress.  He wasn’t featured quite as prominently as he was in season one, but that doesn’t make him less complex, nor does it mean his arc this season was unimportant.  To the contrary, his relapse and the loss of Ben will change a lot going forward, as will his closer relationships with his other siblings.

Speaking as an extroverted child of a dysfunctional family, fans also need to reconsider the idea that it’s only Klaus’ siblings who are maintaining the distance between them.  Klaus is an escapist.  Talking too much to his family invites too many serious conversations.  When they do talk, he maintains distance the way extroverts tend to—by talking their ear off about anything but the serious thing, distraction, redirection, and, if necessary, making the other person uncomfortable.  If we’re good at it, we can push people away by coming toward them.  He relishes attention and company—demands it, even—but it took a nigh-on Herculean effort for Diego to even get him to admit anything was wrong after he came back from Vietnam.  It took less for him to open up to Allison in the second season, showing, perhaps, some character development.  In both cases, Klaus’ siblings rewarded him with comfort and companionship.  This is so reflective of the loved ones of many an addict.  Any number of them have this fantasy of the addict coming to them for help and them being able to be there for them and be a comfort and help them get sober.  The reality is that addicts use substances and/or behaviors so they don’t have to deal with the thing their loved one wants them to talk about.  Klaus is no different.

It’s no coincidence that the inciting factor of the relapse was a social one--the diner incident with Dave. Remember Dave is the entire reason Klaus stopped settling for a life he floated through half-aware, too numb to care about no one caring about him.  Dave taught him he is capable of being loved for who he is.  In the years since he lost him, I think Klaus has sugar-coated Dave’s memory in a lot of ways, forgotten he was a human and not some angelic ideal incapable of dealing harm for bad reasons.  Being hit by him and seeing Dave take on a shade of his own abusive father was devastating for Klaus.  He knew, logically, that that’s not the sort of man Dave really is, that the pressures of being gay in the 1960’s (in Texas of all places) got to him, but the fact is, Klaus will always remember it.  The image of the love of his life so carefully kept in his heart is now tainted by the feeling of having his lip split open by him.  In a lot of ways, Dave became lost to him in that moment in a way he hadn’t been before, only increasing the feeling of isolation.  It would have been enough to lead to him deciding to drink again, with or without the CPTSD and comorbid emotional dysregulation.

But even what came before that day at the diner had an effect on Klaus’ isolation.  He left his cult.  It was an unhealthy behavior and it hardly brought out the best in him, but it was a stopgap measure for the howling loneliness.  None of his relationships there had any meaning, but he wasn’t walled up in an apartment somewhere, bored out of his mind and alone with his own thoughts.

So Klaus was a dry drunk at the start of the season.  He couldn’t deal with his own self-loathing sober, so he first reached out for other peoples’ esteem instead of building his own self-esteem.  He opened up to Diego (a little) in the first season after it being dragged from him.  It was easier when Allison asked him why he relapsed, and then in the salon, he didn’t even need to be prompted in order to open up to his sisters.  He’s getting better at this with practice!  And it does take practice.

That’s what makes sobriety stick.

Next up: The Codependent!

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[sineala]

Your meta on 616 Tony's political affiliation was very well thought out and insightful! I was wondering if marvel ever did a comic storyline that was supposed to be an allegory for the iraq/afghanistan wars and if so, what positions tony and steve took? Like how the nixon alien thing was an allegory for watergate. Have the comics ever touched on the middle east wars? Do we know steve or tony's thoughts on those wars? Thanks!

The thing about modern Marvel comics is that they really, really don’t like to touch real-world politics.

The Secret Empire/Nomad thing was exceptional precisely because it is clearly supposed to be a take on Watergate -- and, IIRC, in the letters column Marvel tried to assert that it was not Nixon. They did publish it, yeah, but also they immediately disavowed it.

Sure, sometimes comics can’t not deal with major events -- JMS has a (as far as I know) very well-regarded Spider-Man issue about 9/11, but Marvel Comics are set in New York and they kind of had to say something about that one.

But for the most part, they just... don’t. I know this might be hard to believe given that Captain America Comics #1 has Captain America slugging Hitler right on the cover, published back before the US entered WWII and explicit anti-fascism was actually still a controversial position. But that was then and this is now, and as far as I can tell, mostly they just try to avoid telling stories that would explicitly interact with real-world politics in controversial ways.

And yeah, I know that Tony’s origin story was originally set during the Vietnam War and that he was an arms manufacturer during the Vietnam War. But in 1964 or so, this was not the controversial position that it became later. As the war became more and more unpopular, fans wrote in basically begging them to make Tony change. And, yes, they eventually did. In Iron Man #78, Tony leaves the weapons business. He reflects on how some of the terrible, terrible things he saw in Vietnam have made him commit to peace. It’s a lovely issue. It’s very moving. I recommend it a lot. But do you know when it was published? November 1975. Do you know when the US pulled out of Vietnam? I didn’t, so I just checked. The US officially withdrew in January 1973 and they weren’t all the way out until Saigon fell in April 1975. Marvel Comics did not make Tony stop manufacturing weapons until the Vietnam War was actually, completely over in terms of US involvement.

That’s not really what I would call being unafraid to take a bold, controversial anti-war stance. I’m just saying.

And, sure, once it was over Marvel felt free to tell stories about the war. In 1979, they retconned Rhodey into existence, as a Marine whom Tony met in Vietnam. And in 1986 they introduced Frank Simpson (Nuke), whose entire theme as a character is basically “what if the Vietnam War had really, really fucked Captain America up?” And there’s of course Frank Castle (The Punisher), who, like Tony, has a backstory that was originally tied to Vietnam.  Of course, it isn’t anymore, either.

So because of the way the Sliding Timescale works, pretty much every character who has a war-related backstory other than World War II has had their backstory reworked several times to incorporate whatever war would make the most sense for them to have been in if the modern comics happened right now. As I’m sure you know. So both Tony and Frank Castle have had their backstories altered to various places in the Middle East; off the top of my head, I know it was Afghanistan by the time of Extremis, but it may also have been Afghanistan before then. And as far as I know, they also avoided having characters take a stand on that war, either. Nothing is coming to mind, but if anyone else knows something, feel free to chime in.

Currently, both Tony and Frank Castle have their canonical war origin in a completely fictional war in the completely fictional country of “Siancong.”

(For what it’s worth, Marvel has also been known to publish Armed Forces Editions of their comics, and the PR for the Empyre: Captain America miniseries made a big deal out of the fact that the writer was also active-duty military.)

And, yes, Captain America, because of who the character is, does have more of an opportunity to deal with situations that are political but these days he doesn’t usually get to go very far beyond, like, “Nazis are bad and so is racism and sexism (and sometimes if you’re really lucky, homophobia is also bad).” And if you’ll recall, Mark Waid got in trouble for writing an essay for Marvel Comics #1000 in which Captain America described America as “deeply flawed” and they had him replace it with a different, less controversial essay, and this was, what, two weeks after they told Art Spiegelman that his introduction for a book of Golden Age comics could not compare Trump to the Red Skull? (Still not really sure why they asked Art Spiegelman to write that introduction at all since I would kind of assume they knew what they were getting with him in particular. But apparently not!)

But anyway, yeah, Marvel Comics’ attitude toward explicitly putting politics in comics these days seems to lean toward “just say no.”

[joshuahyslop]

BOOKS

The last 10 books I’ve read:

1. The Source of Self-Regard - Toni Morrison This is an incredible book. I highly recommend reading it, but, do so when you have a fair amount of time. Each essay is incredibly thoughtful and, to say, “articulate” would be dumbing it down. I’ve read a lot of books whose authors I felt were beyond my reach of intelligence. I often feel that’s a good way to try and increase, if not my intellect, at least my vocabulary. But Toni Morrison was a genius and wrote like one. Before this I’d read only one of her books; a work of fiction called Beloved. I enjoyed it but I had no idea the level of thoughtfulness she used to craft every single sentence. There are layers upon layers and, unless you are an equal genius, or have read some kind of commentary about it you just might miss a few of them. Though I could not relate to every essay I did not feel like I’d wasted any time in reading each one, slowly. It’s definitely worth your time.

2. Nothing But the Night - John Williams I had no idea what this book was about when I picked it up but it’s not to be confused with the 1973 horror film of the same name. It’s from the NYRB (New York Review Books) classic series. The owner of my local used bookstore told me that it’s kind of like the Criterion Classics of the book world. I’d read a few other books from the collection and enjoyed them so I was hopeful about this one too. The thing to know about this book is that it was written by the author while he was at war - the Vietnam war, I believe. His plane had been shot down so he wrote on scraps of paper while they waited to be rescued. Understandably it’s a pretty short and dark book. It’s well written but it’s pretty bleak. It has nothing to do with war, but it does include suicide, domestic violence and alcoholism. I’m not sure I’d recommend this one, but I might check out another one of his books sometime.

3. The Last Night of the Earth Poems - Charles Bukowski The beautiful in the ugly. Bukowski had a way of really hitting the nail on the head; of bringing to light some of the darkness inside of us that we try to hide or deny, of making you feel sane about the insane things you’ve thought and believe that no one else ever has. For those moments in his poetry and prose, I love his writing. That isn’t to say I’m not regularly offended when I read his stuff. I am. There’s a lot of stuff in his writing and in his general attitude towards life, women, working, etc that was and is very problematic. He was not a role model. But despite all of that he was a very good writer. These poems pour out like short stories. Even if you’re offended or disgusted by them they’re usually beautifully written and they often make you think. Admittedly, not everyone will like Bukowski. But I think that’s fine. He didn’t like everybody.

4. Big Magic - Elizabeth Gilbert A friend of mine messaged me a picture of this book with a note that said, “You have to read this”. Admittedly, I was a little hesitant. Maybe even more than a little. I’d read “Eat, Pray, Love” on the train in India and I’d loathed it. I’m not making any judgments here. It was an international best-seller so, obviously, people liked it. I just wasn’t one of them. I didn’t buy it and, also, I thought her outlook on life was pretty selfish. I was 21 at the time. I have no idea what I’d think about it today but I just recall really not digging it at the time. It seemed a pretty weak argument to not read this book some 14 years later, though. So I picked up a used copy from my local spot and got reading. It’s good. I don’t love her writing, that hasn’t changed, but I did love some of the things she said and her attitude towards creativity. It’s, for lack of a better word, healthier than mine. I’m probably going to read it again someday. It’s given me a lot to think about. If you’re wanting to live a more creative life it’s a good place to start.

5. Jem - Frederik Pohl Oh boy. What do I even say about this? I was out for a walk with my son and we stopped at the neighbourhood book exchange. I saw this and it reminded me of Flash Gordon, and he liked the cover so I let him hold onto it. We came home and I put him to bed and then I picked it up and decided to read the first chapter just to see what it was about. It’s basically very cheesy 70′s sci-fi. Jem is the name of the planet where humans travel and discover life and then ruin everything by being human. It’s a very fast read but also very skippable.

6. In The Miso Soup - Ryu Murakami I’d read a book by Murakami before so it wasn’t how incredibly dark and off putting this book was that bothered me. It definitely was both of those things, but sometimes I enjoy that stuff. This was different. It had those elements, and those elements were enjoyable. But it was also graphic to a degree that just didn’t sit well with me. I know there are a lot of people who absolutely love Murakami’s stuff and think this book is a classic example of Japanese horror but, one scene in particular, was just a bit too much for me. If you’re looking to be creeped out but not grossed out, this probably isn’t the one for you.

7. This Is Your Mind On Plants - Michael Pollan I received this book as a Christmas gift and was thrilled to dive in. My friend Dave tried for years to get me to read another of Pollan’s books, “The Botany of Desire,” but I never did. I just never got around to it. This time, when someone put one of his books directly into my hands, I figured I ought to give it a go. I was amazed at how interested I was. I read the whole book in 3 sittings. It’s split up into three separate studies of three different plants and how they affect our minds, namely: poppies (opium), coffee (caffeine), and peyote (mescaline). Each section is fascinating. He puts our assumptions about these chemicals, our fear and awe of these plants and the whole war on drugs on trial. It’s well worth a read.

8. What Comes From Spirit - Richard Wagamese I’m a bit embarrassed to say I’d never heard of Richard Wagamese before this. My wife gave me this book for Christmas and I had no idea what to expect. Richard was an indigenous author and journalist who passed away in 2017, but this book is comprised of a collection of his posts on social media. I know I would cringe if someone published a collection of my social media posts but his read like an incredibly thoughtful, wise and sensitive journal. His ideas about what it means to be spiritual really spoke to me. I’ll be reading more of his stuff for sure.

9. The Pleasures of the Damned - Charles Bukowski I’m on a Bukowski poetry kick. This is different than a regular poetry kick or a Bukowski prose kick. This is a specific hunger for a specific poet’s work. I don’t know what it is. I don’t like every poem of his. His writing is often dark, rude, dirty, even vile. But every once in a while you come across some golden line that can really hold you, make you feel seen and heard and somehow, less lonely. It means sifting through some dark waters, sure. But the little gems you find, in my opinion, are worth it.

10. Mockingbird Wish Me Luck - Charles Bukowski Like I said. I’m on a kick.

[guigz1-coldwar]

'High Risks' :New chapter for "Redemption in a Spirit in a Cold War" is out !

"High Risks"

Chapter Summary : Bell is forced to work with Adler as a team to infiltrate the nightclub owned by 'Bonnie Blue'.....

To read it on AO3, click here !

Words : +5200

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We worked non-stop after we all talked about the new plan we had in mind to deal with that Bonnie Harless and by the odds, the remaining files that were in the last cardbox allowed us to know more about her  : After she has left the MI6 in 1978, she installed herself in West-Berlin, opening the 'Nuit Blanche' almost a year after her arrival in the city. The MI6 didn't know that she has taken a part of their files....all talking about the arms trafficking business and since she has created that nightclub, she had became a big arms dealer, supplying at first the drugs cartels in South America before going big by supplying actual wars.

It was in 1980 that she met Perseus and she proposed her services to him, allowing her to expand her business and making more money. That money allowed her to make the 'Nuit Blanche', one of the most biggest nightclub in West-Berlin. That place was an perfect place to hide since no one will expect something like that, happening in the public eye but even with that, it didn't avoid us to discover all of that and neutralizing her can help us to bring down one of the many operations Perseus is making all around the world.

After we were done with the cardbox as they had nothing left for us, it was time to prepare our new plan to neutralize 'Bonnie Blue' and her business. Thanks to Mason, we decided to pose ourselves as buyers who want to make a deal with her but with that option, this would mean that we couldn't risk to go inside the nightclub in a large group. Only 2 persons were able to go in as the others stay in support and I was one of the two to go in since I volunteered myself but at my big surprise, Adler was the second one that will go inside with me.....

I was going to team up with the very man that fucked with my brains and trying to put a bullet in them and I will have to act with him as we were best friends from Vietnam. I would have liked Park to come but since Bonnie Harless was an ex-MI6 agent, she couldn't come inside with me and the others didn't say anything about the mission, leaving me & Adler to enter the nightclub and deal with Bonnie.

It took us 2 days to plan the mission perfectly because we needed at first to arrange a meeting with Bonnie at her nightclub posing as buyers and surprisely, we were granted that meeting by luck. Sims created for me & Adler fake identities for the mission : he kept Adler as an perfect american as for me, I was his british woman associate since my british accent was more strong than my russian one. Thanks to that, we gained our entrance inside the nightclub and the rest....will be to me & Adler to make.

We were now ready ! 2 days after we decided of our plan, we could finally go through it. I was in a car with Park at my side on the backseat as Sims was at the driving seat and Adler in the front passenger seat. We were parked on a parking lot, hidden from the public with the nightclub at our view. Woods & Mason would have like to came but Adler preferred to keep the suspicions low by not bringing everyone to the mission. Instead, they were keeping the safehouse for the moment.

"Uhm...." I started, peaking my head to look at Adler, not moving at all because my legs were like crushed by his seat "Can you move your seat ?" I asked

"No." He replied in a harsh voice, not doing a simple thing to let my legs be free. He was the only one smoking in the whole car, maybe trying to concentrate himself on the mission.

"You could at least move it a little." I exclaimed, rolling my eyes in annoyance

"You prefer to focus on the mission or talking about my seat ?" He breathed, blowing smoke out of his mouth "You can just move yourself instead of harrasing me." I started to move to put my hands on his seat before Park stopped, putting her own hands on my left arm, gently

"Anyways." She almost said loudly "Do you both remember what you need to do, right ?" I nodded while Adler...did nothing expect from a little groan.

"Go inside, meet 'Bonnie Blue', neutralize her guards and ask her our questions. Then, going out." I told, it was our plan....less detailled because we don't know exactly how things will play out.

"Her guards would likely be the type of peoples to use silenced guns." Sims intervened, his eyes on the nightclub entrance filled with people. "So, if you are cornering her in a isolated place with her guards, there will be no problems for you to come out of the place." He added, adjusting his cap

"I will be communicating with you through your headsets hidden in your ears." Park said, making me sure that my headseat was well positioned in my right ear. "Mainly to update you each time something new is happening." She pointed to me, the material that was between us, allowing her to listen to the place communications and that, thanks to my help.

"So, it's our time to go to work." Adler started to move to open the door at his side. "Keep your eyes open, Sims." He scoffed

"Always on it, doc !" Sims almost laughed before I started to open the door at my side and then, Park put her hand on me again, with a little.

"Good luck, Yirina." She whispered and I smiled, nodding at her before I left the car to be outside....Adler waiting for me, next to the car.

"Come on, we don't have all night." He ordered, throwing his cigarette at his feets and then ordered him to follow to join the nightclub but before entering, we had to stand in line.

Inside of me, it was stressful since this type of place wasn't something I would go everyday and I will be surrounded by a lot of people. I really hope that I will not make a panic attack in the middle of everybody. The last time I was in a big crowded place was at that bar in Moscow but it wasn't so crowded but here, there were a lot of people around us and I was thinking that it was better to not make things go to shit either because of us or because of Bonnie's guards. We have literally just no firepower, just our fists and our brains to fight.

We joined the line next to the club entrance, it was better for me to have keep casual clothes instead to wear a big dress. Me & Adler were wearing clothes that was way differents from the others and for me, I preferred it that way. I was still wearing Park's clothes and it was so nice to have them on me : I had her blue sweat along with one of her blue jeans....I remember these clothes because she was wearing them during our mission in East-Berlin back 3 years ago.....she even gave me a scarf to put around my neck....why not !

"So....Bell..." Adler started, looking at me with an raised eyebrow as we were slowly advancing in line.

"You never opened your ears with Park or something ?" I said, crossing my arms to him, he will never understand.... "I'm not your 'Bell'"

"Think what you want to think." He rolled his eyes behind his glasses "But, we're doing things  my way." He added, poking me a little on my left shoulder

"Yeah but I remember that you're not my boss." I scoffed "Maybe it's time for you to remove that stick from your ass." I added, laughing nervously

"Oh, very funny." He sniffed, almost clapping with his hands "I'm getting a lesson from a soviet."

"Can you just act for normal, for fuck sake, Adler ?" I exclaimed, arriving almost at the club entrance

"I will try." He responded, not very enthusiast "Remember that here, I'm the one in charge." He added as we became the second to last persons before we can enter.

"Profit of it, not gonna be long." I looked away at the car's direction, trying to not desasperate because of his attitude towards me...it's going to be quick....I really hoped to....

"Just don't be suspicious." He ordered me as we were finally facing the guards.

He was the one to speak with the guards in front of the entrance, explaining that we have an meeting with the club's owner. Hopefully, our plan worked as the guards were aware of our arrival, saying to us that 'Bonnie Blue" were waiting for us but that she was taking care of a little issue before she can really meet us in person. The two guards called by one of their radios another guard, tasked to lead us inside the nightclub and to put us somewhere until we are cleared for the meeting.

Just a few seconds after that, the guard in question came, ordering us to follow him inside and we complied to his orders. We finally entered the nightclub, I could see that there were a lot of people in the hallway leading to the dance floor and in me, I was struggling to not panick at all from it. I can't panick right now, it's not the time or the place to do that. I just need to stay focused, calm and determined about the situation, we're acting like normal people for the others and like buyers with Bonnie's men

We arrived in the dance floor area and like in the hallway, a lot of people dancing, talking and drinking. The music in the club were very loud....loud enough to cover the sounds of gunshot from an no silenced weapon, it was something that could help us in case, things go wrong. The guard led us to an empty table away from the public sight but still able to have a look on the big room and left us until he will come back to clear us for the meeting. Now, we were just awaiting with me not stressing out at all.

"You're trembling ?" Adler asked me after 2 minutes of silence after we were left alone as he saw my left hand shaking and I was trying to control it with my other hand.

"Yeah, why I can't do that ?" I said, grinning nervously to him....yeah, I was stressed out.

"We're going to meet a arms dealer and you're getting stressed ?" He raised an eyebrow, his hand on the table

"It's not about meeting her."  I replied, mixed between looking at him and my hand

"So, about what ?" He started, curious "Fearing that you will not get out of here alive ? Fearing to not see your little Park again ? Fearing because of me ?"

"Are you trying to provoke me or...." I cut myself, trying to control my own nerves in front of him "Yeah, you surely want to provoke me." I said, sure of me "Right ?"

"Why are you getting stressed out ?"  He asked, not even answering my question

"Maybe because I'm not used anymore to go to a big crowded place." I answered frankly to him, biting my lips

"Bell is scared of people, now ?" He smirked at me, causing me to lock deadly eyes on him

"I'm not Bell for the second time." I exclaimed, my hands starting to form into fists on the table.

"You're saying that but you can't remove that name from you." He put his right arm along the seat "You're just an russian girl who know too much and running around with memories that isn't even hers." He added

"Maybe." I started, realizing that a part of what he said was right : I was living with his memories in my head and for the first part, it can be seen better as a advantage than something bad.

"You were just someone that could have tell the world what the CIA did to you, there were no chances to let you live by joining the MI6." He admitted, leaning to face me "You are just a product of the CIA."

"Maybe..." I whispered in a low voice "But instead of making your job to the end, you decided to left me in a coma....." I said, more clearly to him "What's got into your head.....the moment you left me to die....the moment you maybe saw me in that bed ?" He was looking around with an worried look, not even focusing on me.

"I don't know." He simply replied, looking at me a little, seeing my face before the guard came back to see us,

"'Bonnie Blue' has finished, she would like to see you." The guard exclaimed as we got up from our seats "Follow me !"

We started to follow that guard as Adler took the lead in front of me. I was able to stabilize myself and not stressing further along the way, trying to think of our mission and how will neutralize Bonnie with just our fists and our heads to think. We crossed the dancefloor until we arrived to a door guarded by two persons, the guard in charge to leading us to Bonnie explained our cases to them, allowing us to pass with the guard. They opened the door and the first thing we saw was stairs going up.

We got up, still following that guard....and getting followed by one of the guards that was keeping the door. When we were up, we arrived in a little waiting room, with some mens on the couch, armed with either MP5 or LC-10, all silenced and apparently, they were waiting for us because at the moment, we stepped inside that room that they got up from their couch to get next to us.....awesome !

Before letting us enter, we had no choice but to get searched by those guys. Spreading our arms and legs to allow them to frisk us more rapidly and clearly for any surprises like an gun or an knife. While they were easy on Adler, it wasn't the case with me as I had the impression that they were taking their time to frisk me....are they staring at my ass ? I looked at the guy in charge to frisk me and I was right....he was taking his time and when he saw me with deadly eyes, he preferred to go faster, not wanting me to kick him in the nuts.

After that 'little accident', we were finally cleared to enter the next room that was Bonnie's office but of course, those same guards decided to accompany us inside. We got inside to discover Bonnie Harless herself, awaiting for us in an couch, smoking an cigarette. She was looking like in her picture we had in the safehouse with some scars near her eyes. Her room had a big view on the dancefloor area and we better watch out for that.

"Ah...my friends." She started, pointing to the other couch "Take a seat." She ordered us and we complied, playing like buyers, keeping a straight face.

"So, you're the mysterious 'Bonnie Blue' ?" Adler first said, getting sit on the couch along with me as two guards got next to it, their guns in front of them.

"Mysterious ? I'm flattered !" Bonnie replied, enthusiast to hear that and nearly laughing.

"Guess we are too, miss Blue." I grinned a little, getting comfy in the couch.

"Please, call me just 'Bonnie Blue." She put her hand on her chest, gesturing to us to present herself. "So, you're the two buyers I have heard ?" She asked

"Exactly !" Adler answered to her "I'm Clark Dewill and she's Jess Blackwell." He added, using his fake name....and my old 'Bell' identity that Sims preferred to use again for me "We're both associates."

"An american boy....and an british girl." She was looking curious at me with wide eyes "Where you're coming from, miss Blackwell ?" I needed now to find something good....find something, Yiri !

"I'm from Reading in the UK." I replied, saying it like that

"I'm also british, you know ?" She looked both of us "Been working for that stupid Crown for years and they were never able to see my full potential." She rolled her eyes and her fists were forming before she stopped herself "Anyway, where are you operating ?"

"Mostly in America." Adler answered "More in the United States and Canada."

"I have an buyer too in the US and I'm wondering what are your plans in those places." She asked, very curious

"We have some plans to disrupt Reagan's goverments by arming...some extremists group and maybe put an end on the 'War on Drugs' the US is making."  Adler added without hesitating a second in his words, something I couldn't have done.

"Like the other buyer...." She smiled at us, almost laughing"Well, if we can have more buyers, it will work better for my employees." She then put her hands on a register that was between our couch and hers "What type of guns you would like ?"

"We can possibly try for british ones..." I suggested but she was making an apologizing face to me

"Ah, I'm sorry, my british guns are going to another buyer who need them to train some of my employees group around the world." She affirmed before looking at Adler.....the buyer, she talked, it was maybe that H.S from the files we got.

"It's better that we go on american ones." Adler said, making a 'friendly tap' on my shoulder "What do you think, Jess ?"He added, in a fake voice

"I'm okay with this." I responded before my ear start to make some noises....my headseat and I could see Adler put his hand to hide his ear where his headset was and I do the same.

"Yirina, Adler, you got a problem !" It was Park voice, alerting us from something bad "Got a communication : your cover has been blowed. Act quickly against her !" Yeah, something bad...and it got worse when a guard arrived in the room.

"Don't you see that I'm in a business talk ?" Bonnie exclaimed to that guy before the man started to walk next to her and at this moment, I realized that this guy was going to give her the infos that we're not buyers.

I looked at Adler, giving him a look to tell that we needed to act quickly and then, I redressed myself on the couch as my eyes were now on the guard that was just next to me. The guard who enter the room started to whisper something  in her right ear, giving us a strange look. I was thinking now, the guard next to me has his MP5 ready to get taken off his hands and he had also an pistol, strapped around his waist. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and then reopened them...ready to act.

In a second, I got up and with my right knee, I striked directly in the chest while I took his pistol in my left hand and with the other, I took the MP5 he had. He started to fall on his back not before I fired a first bullet from the silenced pistol in his direction, hitting him directly in the throat and then I focused back on the others guards. Adler reacted quickly by throwing himself onto the guard that was keeping him as me, I was looking at the others.

They were going to aim at me but I was more faster and with my right hand, I opened fire with the MP5 in their directions : there were two of them behind Bonnie and also the guard who was whispering to her. The first one was hit by two bullets on his head and the second one received 5 bullets from my MP5 but for the guard next to Bonnie, I had to use the stolen pistol to avoid to hit Bonnie.

I shot him right between the eyes and he fall back dead on the couch next to her who was now petriefied to see her guards falling one by one until they were only the three of us remaining in that room. Me & Adler standing up, observing what we have done as Bonnie was looking scared as hell. Adler was aiming her with the pistol he got from the guy he threw himself in.

"Don't fucking move." He said, walking next to her and by the sudden, he decided to shot her in her right kneecap with his gun, causing her to scream before he put his hand on her mouth. "You scream, you're dead !"

"That was unnessesary to...." I was shocked by him, she wasn't going to flee, she was just scared as hell

"Go search her desk, I'm asking the questions." He ordered me brutally, keeping her from screaming freely and I had to comply to his order to search her office. I walked to it as he was keeping her under control.

"Go to hell !" She said as Adler removed his hand from her until I heard the sound of a big slap coming from him. He slapped her with his other hand.

"Not a way to talk with me." He said aiming her. "Not when you're working with Perseus." He gave me a furtive look, more like an threat to me as I put myself to search her office.

"I barely know Perseus." She admitted but Adler thought that she was lying

"Yeah, like every person we have dealt with." He scoffed "Don't bullshit me, who are your buyers ?"

"I don't know." She then start to make noises as Adler put his hand around her neck, trying to strangle her "I only know their initals but...."

"But ?" Adler cut her, letting her free,

"I know who they are by their description : a corrupted politician in the US, a Irakian general and a ex-SAS soldier."

"Harry Stone ?" I proclaimed, having found an document with his name on it. So it was him...H.S....the same one I had in my memory after that operation, she nodded in fear,

"He's the one who is training Perseus soldiers around the world" She affirmed to us "In fact, he's basically the one who is helping me to establish my connections."

"And the others ?" Adler asked

"For them, we only communicate by our initials." She replied in pain with the bullet she has in her leg "They're affiliated with Perseus but he advised us to not get ourselves involved in person."

"So, we only know that in the US, it's a politician and in Irak, it's an general." I said, having found nothing else that could help me to find who those guys were at her desk, I decided to join Adler next to him. "You have nothing else to tell us ?" She shook her head

"Then..." Adler started, aiming her at her head "No loose end !" He added before he shot a bullet that landed right in her head, killing her instantly. He then put the pistol behind his back, under his jacket, keeping his cool as me, I was shocked to see him doing that because....I had a feeling to relive that scene on that cliff at Solovetsky.

"Are you kidding me ?" I almost yelled at him

"What happened ?" I hear Park's voice in my headset

"Adler, he shot Bonnie in the head just because she shook her head." I explained to her in fury, looking at him with eyes that could kill someone.

"I wasn't going to let her live." He tried to defend himself from his actions, making signs that he wasn't guilty at all. "And even, she wouldn't talk further."

"We could have know more if you were acting normal."  I told him, trying to not looking at Bonnie dead body.

"At least, we know more about those buyers and we dealt with her." He then start to walk away, gesturing me to follow him "We're done here, we're leaving without a noise."

I was so angry at him right now but it was better to leave that place that was turned into a warzone. Our guns were certainly silenced but someone will have to come here to check if everything is okay. We decided to take the same door as we entered the room. It was without an risk because we have neutralized every guards that were following us inside that room but we had to keep low and not be suspicious at all when leaving the nightclub.

When we arrived in the dance floor area, I realized from afar that they were 3 guards positioned at each part of the area....looking at us. It was at this moment we realized that we were trapped inside the nightclub, we couldn't leave without having them at our tails as they will make sure that we're not leaving the place.

"Let's go to the bar !" He ordered, making me signs to not look at those guards. We passed through the crowd to arrive near the bar who was empty from people.

"What now ?" I asked him, putting my right arm on the counter.

"We're gonna wait for those guys attentions to go away." He replied but I could see that he wasn't sure of that and as I was looking behind him, the guard were slowly coming towards us.

"You're sure ?" I scoffed at him and he looked behind me.

"Not really actually !" He breathed before he turned around to see the guard behind him, getting closer. He gave me a quick look...a look that I don't like at all,

"What are you thinking ?" I asked but he didn't respond as he looked back to the guard

"You know, it was good for you to let yourself have a great time but...." He then looked back at me, taking a deep breath as the guard put his hand on his right shoulder

"Bell, we have a job to do !"

He was planning this....shit....at hearing this, I started to feel all weird inside of me as I closed my eyes, trying to control myself to not pass out from him. I needed to be angry now but I realized that he did this to make them believe that I was under his control if there were anyone that could have recognized me....maybe a good thinking but not like this. Strangely, for the first time....I was able to control myself from that sentence....and I opened my eyes again, back in control....but not entirely.

I nodded to him briefly and then, I started to play his little mind game he was planning all long with me. I took the guard hand off his shoulder, crushing it causing him to step back from Adler who started to admire the scene doing nothing else. I took a glass of water that was on the counter and then, I smashed it against the counter before I planted the glass foot at the side of his neck.

At this moment, one of the others guards grabbed me by behind, putting his arms around me but with my foots, I put them on the counter and pushed them against me, causing us to fall back on the ground in the middle of the crowd who started to watch the scene and for them, it was just two drunken person fighting. I nudged the guy badly with my elbow in the guts before I got up, grabbing him by the collar....the last guard has took his gun from his jacket and he started to fire at me, causing the crowd to panick as hell before running away.

I was able to use the guy I was holding as a human shield for 3 bullets before I threw the dead guy on the armed guard who lost his balance and find himself against the counter. He shot another bullet but he missed again. I then put my hand on his gun as we started to fight for it and he was slowly losing the advantage before the gun was directly under his chin and then, I pulled the trigger of it, firying more than 3 more bullets in his head, the blood going everywhere behind the bar counter.

"It's okay, Bell." Adler intervened, putting his hand on my shoulder, sounding good for him,

"We have a job to do !"

He said it, causing me to close my eyes to control myself to not passing out....you got this, Yiri ! You got this !......... I then removed myself from the dead guy in shock, realizing the brutality I used to kill those guys...realizing that Adler manipulated me to kill those guys....realizing that he said that key-phrase again. It wasn't me who did this....that....was the 'Winter Soldier' still inside of me....

"Let's get out of here." He ordered and I complied, following him outside, still troubled by what I have done...what he has done to me. When we were outside, I needed to know why.

"Why you did this ?" I asked in anger

"It was the only way for us to get out."  He admitted

"By manipulating me again ?" I exclaimed, clenching my fists "I'm not like this, I'm not an monster."

"And by seeing you, you had this in your veins." He smirked at me, before looking away

"Listen..." I started, looking at him while I cleaned up my jacket with my right hand "Don't do this again because...." I pointed him with my right hand....until I saw some blood on it. I looked down to a bullet hole in the jacket,just next to my right kidney....the armed guard didn't missed me at all, I was ignoring the pain during all these times "Aw shit !" I whispered, looking at my hands and the bloodied hole before I started to lose my balance, feeling so weak now

"Damnit, kid !" Adler grabbed me before I was able to fall on the ground and then, he started to walk with me, he was making the hard step as my legs weren't responding anymore. "Almost got to the car !" He said after he was transporting me throught the street. My vision was troubling itself as I was going to pass out.

"Yirina !" I hear Park voice panicking, getting out of the car.

"She got shot, get her next to her and try to stop the blood." Adler ordered her as he gave me to her and I was now in her arms before she installed me in the car, along with her. "Quick, Sims, she need to be healed fast." He said to Sims who immediately drove off the scene.

"Am I dying ?" I whispered to Park, my voice cracking down by saying it

"No, you will not die !" She almost said loudly as she put her hands on my wound to stabilize it, getting her hands filled with my blood,

"Don't let me die." I started to cry because of it, breathing heavily and trying to not passing out but I saw the blood and I realized that I was going to pass out in that car. I could see Park face as my eyes were going to shut down, looking panicking...scared. She didn't want to lose me....and I don't want to lose her,

"I will never let you down, Yirina !"

[hotelyamato]

✔ : What drew you to the character you currently play? What types of characters are you generally drawn to?

Roleplay related mun memes!

Generally, I am drawn to characters who have interesting personalities, and/or personalities that I perceive as similar to my own. I would consider this an attribute of each of the characters I currently play. This isn’t the only key, though. With regards to Hetalia characters, I will generally prefer those nations which I already have a positive opinion of in real life, and as for KanColle characters, I gravitate towards those whose designs, personalities and histories appeal to me most, as well as those that I find most enjoyable to use in fleets in-game.

To go into more detail,

Vietnam is portrayed as a headstrong, confident woman, an archetype that I appreciate. I have stated this before about two years ago, but I am drawn to strong, independent women in anime and manga, because I feel that the majority of female characters in the most popular anime and manga today have little to no personality and, at worst, are mere objects for both stereotypical, flawless male protagonists and the viewers who are meant to project themselves onto said protagonists. I think that Vietnam is better than this. I should say that, while Hetalia is a series with very few female characters, the ones it does have feature well-constructed personalities and histories (well to do for a historical comedy series, indeed). Vietnam is no exception; in either groups of men or women she is the voice of reason, even if the men’s antics fluster her. While I don’t tend to pick favorites, if I needed to choose a favorite character for Hetalia, I would go with Vietnam.

Nyo!Japan has not received much panel or screen time, but it can be inferred that, despite being quiet and reserved, she is also very knowledgeable, appreciates both traditional and modern culture, and can get along well with people. Still, it is primarily up to the fans to determine just what she is like and how she will act in various situations. I hope that I can do her justice.

I enjoy England’s character because I find him to be a short-fused, witty man; sometimes I feel very similar to him. Furthermore, years of watching British YouTubers has taught me much about British culture and slang, so combined with his tendency to be caustic when interacting with others, I find it very easy to write him, and more importantly, put myself into his shoes and mindset.

Taiwan is one of those Hetalia characters that I like above others because I am a supporter of the Republic of China in real life, and I admire the character’s strong will and determination, and chiefly, her ability to bounce back from difficult times and moods. It also helps that she’s cute.

To contradict myself, I will easily pick Yamato as my favorite shipgirl in KanColle. What can I say? She’s quite pretty, and quite powerful, too. Yamato is a big eater... and so am I. >///>; Given the real-life ship’s history of serving primarily as a propaganda piece, sitting in ports or transporting troops and only firing her main guns once in a surface battle, Yamato desires to prove herself a worthy member of the fleet, which has endeared me to her. Again, what can I say? She’s rather inspiring to me that way. I feel that Yamato, despite her history, has more confidence in herself than I do in myself, and I only wish I could feel as confident. It is funny that Nyo!Japan is more like a Yamato Nadeshiko than Yamato, who isn’t really one at all, but indeed, more like a Determinator.

Yukikaze’s plucky attitude and [again] confidence has made her one of my favorite shipgirls as well. Sometimes I think, perhaps a bit facetiously, that Yukikaze’s survival of the war and managing to exist until 1970 says something about hope for humanity and peace. And maybe she can bring me some luck at the casino some time, too. Of course, her Kai Ni remodel is very strong and useful in-game, and I would certainly consider her one of the best destroyers in KanColle.

I should admit that I tend to prefer writing female characters. Other than what I have explained above, when discussing Vietnam, I cannot really say why. maybe just because I’m a heterosexual male I can say that England is there just so that there is one male muse I can write, when I feel it is most appropriate.

Thank you for the question! I hope that I answered it well enough. I always find it somewhat difficult to organize my thoughts, so I certainly hope that this does not have only the appearance of an incoherent ramble, and is not confusing at all.

[nikkiwriteswords]

Hi, I love the klave metas! I really needed more of them in my life :) Just wondered what your take is on the scene before the kiss, where Dave touches Klaus’s face? I have never quite managed to come up with anything myself. Thank you!

Ahh you’re too kind, anon! I’ve wondered about that scene myself to be honest, and oh boy do I have some analysis for you. Let’s just go over the context of this club scene real quick: 

So here they are in the club. They’re having a bit of a laugh, a dance, and there’s a meet-cute narrative clearly happening. Klaus and Dave do some dork dancing, they share an equally dorky little moment, and Dave - Dave is already smitten, just try and tell me he’s not. The smile at Klaus’s fist-shake for throwing off his groove? Smitten. They decide to do shots, along with another guy and a girl, who then presumably ditch them. Then, there’s this nice split second of Dave’s feet walking purposely through the dancers. 

Man’s on a mission. Look at this next shot. Dave sidles up to the bar where Klaus is leaning, is about to say something, and Klaus has a little grin because they’re both Know at this point. They’re both flirting around the issue and Dave is probably about to pull a Line. That is, until one girl literally inserts herself between Dave and the bar (even bashing into Klaus), and Klaus is approached by another.

I wonder what it is we’re meant to infer from this scene about the club scene in 60′s Vietnam. What’s the attitude towards GIs? What are the GIs attitude toward Vietnamese women? What’s the attitude towards homosexuality? If someone can shed some light on that context, I’d be really interested in hearing about it Anyway, cut to these two dorks giggling in the corner, probably hiding from the girls: 

It’s such a meet-cute, because they’ve been dancing around the issue all night at this point, and here’s confirmation that they both aren’t into women - at least not as much as they’re into each other.

But then, this?

This vulnerable, ambiguous little sigh written all over Klaus’s face?? What’s that about? What do you think that emotion is? To me, Klaus looks a little bit lost here, a little bit puzzled and more than a little exhausted. But he also looks a little relieved, like Dave has just said something that resonates with whatever he’s feeling. Dave is clearly reassuring him, but that touch feels charged with attraction as well: I feel like they get caught a little bit by surprise by the intensity of their own feelings. Like Dave only meant to ruffle Klaus’s hair but suddenly he’s caressing his cheek and he just can’t help it - this weird, beautiful man has appeared out of nowhere and Dave wants to just pull him close and kiss him. And Klaus leans into it. See how he reaches for Dave a little bit? It’s like they just fall into the moment, and Dave feels that little thrill again, picks up the courage from before the girl interrupted him, and kisses Klaus. 

But, see, here’s my real question: what are they talking about? 

I’m really interested in what this whole flashback sequence tells us about Klaus’s arrival in Vietnam and the start of his relationship with Dave. Is Klaus fresh off the bus at this point? Or are they on leave after months in the brush, and this thing between them has been simmering for a while?

Putting aside headcanons and going on what this opening scene is telling us, it’s possible Klaus drops in on 173rd just as they’re heading back to base on leave. Sure, he arrives when they’re under fire, but the bus he’s travelling on in the next scene (still looking pretty green and shell-shocked, in the colloquial sense) is moving away from the fighting in the background:

The next shot places that bus in Saigon. For those of you who know Vietnamese history which clearly includes me after the twenty minutes I spent on wikipedia, the next few frames give us a specific location. The bus is parked outside the civilian terminal entrance at the Saigon Tan Son Nhut military airbase - these days Tan Son Nhat Int'l Airport in Ho Chi Minh City:

Based on that, I’d guess 173rd are probably being stationed here for the next few days whilst they wait to be dispatched up to the A Shau valley in the north.

Realistically, then, Klaus has only been in the country for like a day at this point in the bar. (It depends how far out the 173rd was from Saigon.) So having only just arrived in the frickin Vietnam War and been told his new company is about to be assigned recon deep in enemy territory, he’s probably feeling a little overwhelmed.

Plus, think about all the things he’s dealing with privately right now:

He’s totally alone in a foreign country, in a foreign decade. (At first maybe he thought the briefcase had killed him, and this is actually Not A Relief because Is This Hell?? But he’s not stupid, and his brain is horrifyingly clear for the first time in probably a decade. The fashion sense of Hazel and Cha Cha’s victims covered at least the last century, and the goons themselves were after his time-travelling older-little brother, so it doesn’t take a genius to realise he basically hotwired their Delorean.)

He probably also hasn’t had a chance to try the briefcase and return to 2019 immediately,** or if he has it didn’t work. Do they need recharging? I don’t remember, but he’s cleaned up so he may have had a moment alone to try it - and he’s still here, so.** If that’s even what he wants, maybe he’s hesitating - maybe that’s The Whole Point of Vietnam in Klaus’s character arc. It’s escapist fantasy. (You bet I’m revisiting that thought at some point.) 

He’s probably still hurting from being tortured, and freshly sober - which, hold on, huge thing to consider: has he seen ghosts here already? Fanon consensus seems to be that alcohol helps dampen his powers, but doesn’t block out the ghosts completely. The Vietnam War was rife with drug use, but has he scored any drugs by this point? If he’s only 24 hours in, and only a few hours off the bus, it’s possible he’s still relatively sober. (Just think of the rural gothic potential. Oh man. Stephen King take the wheel. I’ll definitely be picking this up in another post.) 

So the dancing and the alcohol have probably helped distract Klaus a good bit from the emotional shitstorm he’s probably experiencing right now, but at the end of the day, alcohol’s a depressant. He can’t share a lot of this with Dave, so I can’t blame the poor man for looking like he wants to just have a good cry. I can’t blame Dave for wanting to kiss that look right off his face, either.  

[der-unverantwortliche]

If we don't confront China immediately they're going to attack Pearl Harbour, invade the West Coast, and stop us from importing 9 million Indian coders who depress salaries for American programmers. Why do you hate America?

We seem to share some concerns with the way the American right has come to frame the China problem.  It used to be that emphasizing the threat of China was a great way to deflect from the Russia hysteria and, to a certain extent, the obsession with Iran and the Middle East. In that sense the China issue had a sort of second-order, proxy value. Now that just about everyone including the most die-hard neocons like Nikki Haley have jumped onto the China Hawk bandwagon, the position has lost much if not all of its second-order signalling power.

I fear that now much of the Cold War style China Hawk rhetoric actually detracts from the much more pressing threat to the American people which is the incompetent, corrupt, dysfunctional and perhaps even illegitimate ruling class.

Of course, one can combine China-hawkishness with a critique of the American ruling class by saying that the American ruling class cooperates with the CCP. But even here the emphasis must be squarely on the American ruling class and in practice this often gets drowned out in the performative saber-rattling you hear from a lot of conservative China Hawks.

I'll put it this way: It is not as though the American ruling class is intelligent, competent, and patriotic on most important matters and happens to have a glaring blind spot when it comes to appreciating the threat of China. If this were the case, it would make sense to emphasize the threat of China above all else.

But this is not the case. The American ruling class has failed on pretty much every issue of significance for the past several decades. If China were to disappear, they would simply be selling out the country to India, Saudi Arabia, Vietnam, or some other country (in fact they are doing this just to a lesser extent). Our ruling class has failed us on China because they have failed us on everything. For this reason I believe that there will be no serious, sound policy on China that benefits Americans until there is a legitimate ruling class in the United States. For this reason pointing fingers at the wickedness and danger of China is less useful than emphasizing the failure of the American ruling class.  The bottom line is the true enemies of the American people are no foreign nation or adversary---the true enemy of the American people are the people who control America.

This way of thinking points to a dilemma for the American ruling class. Contrary to a lot of the rhetoric you hear, much of the American ruling class, including the "deep state" is actually quite anti-China. To fully account for this would take longer than I have here. But the nutshell intuitive explanation is that the ruling class, particularly Wall Street, was happy for the past several decades to enrich both themselves and China by destroying the American working class with policies such as "free-trade" and outsourcing. But in many ways the milk from that teat is no more, and now you have an American ruling class much more concerned about protecting their loot from a serious geopolitical competitor (China) than squeezing out the last few drops of milk from the "free trade."

Of course, different factions of the American elite still have different attitudes toward China---with Wall Street still being the most favourable and the military industrial complex being the most hostile. The point though is that the American power structure gets that conflict with China over resources, 5G, AI, etc. is baked into the cake. The problem is that America has become such a dysfunctional joke in so many ways that it is hard to imagine it competing with an ascendant and serious China. And this brings us to the dilemma I alluded to earlier: the American ruling class wants to confront China to preserve its loot, but the ability to confront China in a serious way would itself require such dramatic domestic reform within America that this would threaten the very power structure whose loot is supposed to be preserved!

This bizarre dilemma I think is at the heart of our ambiguous and half-assed approach to China---we'd rather whine about Uighurs and call the Chinese racists, which simply reinforces the fundamental unseriousness that makes the prospect of beating out China in the long term seem rather bleak.

But China is buying up land all over the USA.  How dare they buy land that is offered to them?  The Japanese were buying up all sorts of US land in the 1980s and it led to WW2 in the Pacific.

As Donald Trump famously said "someone's doing the raping." In this case it's our own politicians selling out the country for embarrassingly unambitious sums (adding insult to injury). I blame the American ruling class for selling out the American people before I blame the Chinese doing what is best for China.

Is there a possible and responsible foreign policy that works for the average American citizen and not for giant US corporations?

This is a good question which points to a very uncomfortable position we find ourselves in, at least in America. There is an increasing disconnect between America's stature on the geopolitical stage and superpower status and the well-being of actual Americans. What good does it do for America to remain globally dominant when all this translates to is preserving the spoils system for Jeffry Epstein's buddies and a bunch of multinational corporations that hate Americans anyway?

From the standpoint of liberty and freedom, one might even argue that geopolitical multi-polarity is a desirable thing. Free-speech doesn't really exist in either China or the United States, but both nations have very different taboos. Multi-polarity in this sense at least allows one to arbitrage these different taboos and have on net better implications for the dissemination of ideas compared to a situation in which either China or the United States effectively reigned over everything. I don't want a situation in which you can't criticize the CCP anywhere on earth; and I don't want a situation in which you can't criticize tranny bathrooms, Black Lives Matter or whatever the latest nonsense is the US State Department is shoving down people's throats.

(Agree completely, realistic apprehension of actual rivalry with China is obviously necessary, preferably with a minimum of cringe moral indignation, but must not entail a rallying around the flag/a putting aside of differences with the filth. Ideally neither, but at the limit, liever Turks dan Paaps.)

[douglashonorscollege]

Burn the House Down

essay by Olivia McDougall ⌂

IT WAS 2006 in the heart of New York City. The New York Knicks failed to make the play-offs for the third consecutive year. President George W. Bush’s approval rating had hit at an all-time low. Panic! at the Disco released “I Write Sins Not Tragedies” and Justin Timberlake performed “SexyBack” on the MTV Video Music Awards—hosted by Jack Black—at Radio City Music Hall. For the American people, it was the best of times, it was the worst of times… and three young kids were out pursuing their dream in the streets of Manhattan.

Adam, Ryan, and Jack Metzger were trying their hand at busking in Central Park and Washington Square. The youngest at nine years old, Jack led vocals while his older brothers backed him with instrumentals. The boys played covers of songs old and new, anything to get enough money for new instruments with which to experiment. The brothers spent many years on street corners serenading strangers, earning their 10,000 hours. In the following years, when YouTube started gaining traction, the boys put up videos of their covers: more and more inventive spins on pop songs. Jack and Ryan also started trying their hand at writing, directing, and acting in their own little sketches for video content. At that time, the boys had very few followers, but nonetheless continued to play, to save up, to buy more equipment, to make more music.

As they grew, the boys were exposed to their parents’ old records and the sounds of a very different generation influenced their style. The Beach Boys; the Beatles; Peter, Paul, and Mary among many others inspired them, but more contemporary artists like Kanye West also came into play. Later, while eldest brother Adam pursued his degree at Columbia University, the younger two brothers took note of sampling—the music trend of artists taking sound clips and reusing them in their songs. Jack mentioned to his brotherhow cool it would be if someone sampled Spongebob Squarepants on a track.

“Well, why don’t we do it?” was Ryan’s reply.

In spring of 2013, the brothers, naming themselves AJR after their own initials, released a video of their first single “I’m Ready.” The song sampled the popular Spongebob catchphrase, and became a classic, upbeat, dance-floor pop song. The brothers sent the link to their video to several celebrities over Twitter, until famous singer-songwriter Sia noticed them and passed it along to her manager. The song was then commercially released that summer and began to see regular radio play, and the band was labeled as the next up and comers in the music scene.

After “I’m Ready,” AJR released a five song EP of the same name. Their first song continued to grow, receiving millions of views on YouTube and going platinum in Canada and Australia. The brothers continued to create music (and go to school; the eldest was only in his early twenties at this time), releasing another single and EP titled Infinity in 2014. The majority of the band’s music was pop songs, easy to listen to with familiar rhythms and lyrics of love and youth. Remarkably, the boys chose to mix and record all their own music in their NYC apartment living room, instead of paying for studio time. Paying homage to their workspace and independence, the band released their first album Living Room in 2015. Except for some bouncier, odd-duck tracks like “Big Idea” and “Thirsty,” most of the songs fit the same earlier patterns of the pop genre. However, in 2016, the band experienced the shift that would change their music career forever.

Before the What Everyone’s Thinking EP came out, AJR had little recognition beyond their break-out hit. However, the tracks on the latest EP sounded entirely evolved from the brother’s previous style. The lyrics were brimmed with honesty, abandoning the emptiness of many other pop tunes. The boys sang about missing out on their friends while pursuing their dreams, about being unsure about what love means, about not trying so hard to be cool, about being human. Their style of composition had also matured. The band would release videos on how they made their songs, revealing that they took whatever strange sound they could make and mix it however they could to make it new and interesting. They had people who were not musicians or artists, such as their ever supportive father, come in and sing to add a new dimension to their songs. They used something they called “spokestep,” a technique of recording a someone singing, then cutting it up over a beat in editing. They continued to utilize sampling, taking bits of anything from Fountains of Wayne to yodeling competitions. The EP was well-received with hundreds of messages from fans who deeply related to the music. This was all the push the brothers needed to keep writing freely, and not what they thought would sell.

On June 9th, 2017, the three brothers dropped the album that would unknowingly launch their music career to a unimaginable level. Several songs on the album made it to regular radio play, giving the band more recognition and growing their dedicated fan base. The Click clearly communicated AJR’s desire to get real in their music, with songs about the detached feelings of growing up or distaste toward the typical party scene. One of their most successful songs, “Sober Up,” featured Weezer’s Rivers Cuomo and paved the way for more collaborations with artists such as Steve Aoki and Lil Yachty. The band had been on tours before, playing small venues where the opener drew more fans than they, but now they began to sell out everywhere. The kids who had been playing to no one on street corners now began to sing for thousands.

Shortly after their album The Click debuted, AJR announced that they had been asked to create the theme for Supersize Me 2: Holy Chicken, a documentary attempting to expose the fast food industry’s lax safety regulations. The band had been asked to write for other people before, but never for a movie. The theme song, “Burn the House Down,” would live to surpass its original purpose and become the honest encapsulation of the political attitudes of its time. “Burn the House Down” expresses the band’s indecision to either “keep things light” or to get involved in important issues. The song, with compelling lyrics such as “Or should I march with every stranger from Twitter to get shit done? / Used to hang my head low / Now I hear it loud / Every stranger from Twitter is gonna burn this down” further cemented the band’s dedication to revolution and their abandonment of passivity. The song called out deception plaguing the media cycle and public affairs, and the need to burn it all down in order to expose the truth.

*   *   *

The election of Donald Trump in 2016 acted as a catalyst for various protest movements around the country. Marches have occurred on the White House doorstep since the signing of the Constitution, but the Trump administration triggered a marked influx. Beyond Washington, protests like the Women’s March and National Pride March were seen nation-wide. People from all over rallied together to advocate for science and evidenced-based policies, for immigrant’s rights and racial justice, for transparency over Russian involvement in elections, and even for the publication of Trump’s tax returns. People, especially those liberal-leaning, felt that their voices weren’t being heard and that the President was not reflective of their values. Change in politics is gradual and incremental, but it felt like everyday a new injustice was being thrown at the American people. Families were being separated at the border, more evidence that Russia swayed the 2016 election came to light, allegations of sexual abuse from the President were revealed, racism, sexism, and hate seem to run rampant and unchecked, and overall many people felt disheartened and disgusted with the state of the nation. So, with the power of social media, users of popular sites such as Facebook and Twitter planned protests. The marches drew thousands of people together, uniting many for a common cause. Today’s youth, often labeled as lazy and entitled, came together in the March for Our Lives, an empowering result from one of many tragic school shootings. High-schoolers fed up with feeling unsafe on their campuses advocated for stricter gun control laws and led the biggest youth rally since the Vietnam War, to the tune of hundreds of thousands of people. Americans refused to take anything sitting down and demonstrated their needs loudly to those in charge.

The effectiveness of these protests is a tricky one to determine, as many perceived different goals for the marches. Some believe getting people out on the streets and building a community of like-minded people is a strong start, but others think success is nothing less than immediate change and tangible evidence that they have been heard. Further, some argue that current protests lack the solid political backing that are required to enact true change, and that the marches will never be as powerful as they mean to be without that factor. However, even though many of the things modern protests have demanded have yet to come to fruition, it does not necessarily mean the marches have been for naught. Many of the marches throughout history that today are viewed as world-shattering did not see the change they were fighting for immediately. Politics take time, and the justice and change in policies the people demand to see might still be a long time coming. However, it is necessary to take up the fight, for the people to demonstrate that enough is enough.

Protest songs in the past like “Fortunate Son” by Credence Clearwater Revival or “The Times They are A-Changin” by Bob Dylan rallied people for their cause, stoking the flames of change in hearts across the nation. Music was a way for artists to contribute to the fight, giving a voice to those silenced and reflecting the opinions of the oppressed or wronged. Protest songs today have the same effect, uniting thousands to sing in one voice and empowering movements. “Burn the House Down” provides a battlecry for a whole new generation of people. It is a warning of accountability for those in the corrupt establishment; the harbingers will burn it down.

Works Cited “Burn the House Down” Music Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UnyLfqpyi94 AJR Zach Sang Interview: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bQnXGsKwaIU&t=1725 Recent Marches Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_rallies_and_protest_marches_in_Washington,_D.C.#2018 Supersize Me 2 Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Super_Size_Me_2:_Holy_Chicken! Article on political protests, bustle.com: https://www.bustle.com/p/do-political-protests-actually-change-anything-29952 2006 NYC Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:2006_in_New_York_City AJR Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/AJR_(band) One of AJR’s “How We Made THE CLICK” Vidoes: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0YWj3DAo6xM  ∎

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[tanadrin]

How /did/ things change after 2001? I was born in that year and everyone says it was different before, but I've never really gotten a sense of how.

It is difficult for me to emphasize just how different the world you see on the evening news is now, from what it was like before 2001, at least as I remember it. There’s a scene in Farscape, where after years of trying to get home, the astronaut protagonist John Crichton finally makes it back to Earth with his alien friends in tow, and when he’s reunited with his father, he’s shocked to discover his dad has gone from this optimistic, forward-looking, hopeful dreamer to a nervous, jingoistic conservative. His attitude is basically, “yes, there’s dangerous aliens out there who may or may not be trying to kill us--but the galaxy is a place full of wonders you’ve never dreamed of.” His father, in the meantime, has retreated from his hopes for a science-fiction future, and views his new alien friends with suspicion.

It’s not a subtle metaphor, but it’s true. The 90s--at least in the US, at least as I remember them--were a relentlessly optimistic period. Even if things were not yet at their ideal state, there was very much a sense they were heading there; politics was mostly down to what exact flavor of the neoliberal consensus you preferred, Clinton or Bush, and the international triumph of liberal democracy was either a fait accompli (cf. the erstwhile USSR), or just around the corner (cf. hopes for China’s liberalization in the wake of market reforms). Yes, in retrospect, this was kind of a dumb world view. If you actually lived in Russia in the 90s--to say nothing of the Balkans--it was a rough decade, and a lot of the relentless optimism of the period in the United States was down to the privileged position we viewed the world from.

The blunting of that optimism--the reminder that we were still embedded in history, and the final triumph of everything good and just was not foreordained--would not in itself have been a catastrophe. Terrorism was not a strange concept in the 90s, and even Al-Qaeda-style terrorism had its predecessors in attacks on American ships and embassies. 9/11 itself was confusing and chaotic and sad, but 9/11 wasn’t the catastrophe. The catastrophe came after, in how we responded.

I think something broke in America between 1945 and 1991. Something shifted, in a nasty way we didn't realize while we were occupied with communism and stagflation and the civil rights movement. I don't mean to say that America before 1945 was the Good Guys. But the American state and the American political class viewed the world with... humility? Like, sure, the can-do Yankee spirit before 1945 had its own special kind of arrogance (and greed, and hideous bigotry), but it still thought of the world in terms of obligations we owed other countries. By the time the Cold War ended, and the US was the sole remaining superpower, that wasn't how we viewed the world. It was still sort of how we told each other, and our children, what the world was like. We certainly talked a big game about democracy and human rights. But as soon as that principled stance was tested, we folded like a cheap suit. What we should have done after 9/11 was what we had done after every terrorist incident in or against the United States before then: treated it like the major crime it was, sent a civilian agency like the FBI in to investigate, and pursue the perpetrators diplomatically. What we did instead was treat it like the opening salvo of a war--in fact, invented a war to embed it within, to give ourselves narrative justification for that stance--and crank every element of paranoid jingoism instantly up to 11. It has never abated since.

Some of this is the little things. The TSA and the Department of Homeland Security--a name I thought was creepy Orwellian shit right from the get-go. The terror alert levels. (God! remember those?) The fact that airport security--despite being just as ineffective today as it was on September 12--is still routinely humiliating and invasive and just a total waste of everybody’s time. Some of it is the big things. The way security, and the need for security, trumps all other demands including the state’s obligation to protect civil rights. And the fact that this just isn’t even up for debate anymore. 9/11, as Chomsky presciently observed, was a boon for authoritarians everywhere. Suddenly, “counterterrorism” was the magic word that let you get away with anything, like “anti-communism” twenty years prior. At the most extreme end, this led to things like anti-atheism laws being promulgated in Saudi Arabia in the name of “counterterrorism,” but you don’t have to go that absurd to find ways in which the security state has fostered authoritarianism. In every aspect of our lives, this new, fearful outlook on the world justified a gradual ratcheting down of freedom, the gradual empowerment of petty tyrants everywhere, and the weak protests, fading into silence, of people who still believed in liberty as an important organizing principle for modern society. It wasn’t even that you’d get called a terrorist-sympathizer or anything that blatant. It just ceased to be regarded as important. It wasn’t that you were wrong, or misguided, or evil. You were just a non-serious person, someone whose opinion was clearly irrelevant, whose head was permanently in the clouds, if you thought that stuff still mattered. And that never went away.

And I think a big part of what changed between 1945 and 1991 was that the US started to believe its own jingoism. When did this start? Vietnam? Earlier? Korea? I don’t know. It’s hard to pinpoint, given that my understanding of the cultural zeitgeist of the decades before I was born mostly came from my dad’s old Doonesbury collections. I don’t know how to describe what we became--what we, hideously, revealed ourselves to be--except as a kind of machismo. A kind of ruthless, General Ripper-esque us-versus-them psychosis that gripped us where the Soviets were concerned, and never let up. And we still believe it. It still infects every atom of our political discourse. We don’t question the necessity of drone strikes, only who to drone strike and how much. We don’t really question the massive powers we’ve afforded the executive branch to wage war and conduct espionage--including kidnappings and torture--and we’ve kind of forgotten that we still have a prison camp in Cuba full of people who have never been convincted of any crime. In a way, we lost faith in law entirely: by God, we couldn’t try terrorists in American courts! (Why not? What’s wrong with American courts? Don’t we have faith in our own laws, at least?) No, justice wasn’t a matter for the law to decide anymore. Justice was a matter for the military only: justice came in the form of strength of arms. Ergo, shooting Bin Laden in the head and calling that justice; ergo, Jack Bauer; ergo, blowing up Yemeni weddings. Keep America Safe. I can’t begin to tell you how alienating and horrifying so much of the last 20 years has been, if the most consequential news stories of your childhood were the OJ Simpson murders and a discussion of the President’s cum stain.

In my opinion, the seminal text of the post-9/11 world was released in the year 2000. In the original Deus Ex video game, the year is 2150, and the world is a dark, depressing place. You, the game’s hero, work (initally) for a UN counterterrorism agency while a plague ravages the world. You hunt terrorists whose existence has provided the justification for an authoritarian crackdown on dissidents everywhere. You visit a Hong Kong firmly under the control of the CCP, you fight genetically engineered mutants created by huge businesses run amok, FEMA (no DHS then) controls the federal government, and, it turns out later in the game, the bombing of the Statue of Liberty that precipitated the creation of your organization was a false-flag attack used to justify its existence in the first place. Drones patrol the streets of NYC, and the whole thing is steeped in late-90s militia movement-style conspiracy theories about the Illuminati and the New World Order, that look weirdly out of place now that these things are more clearly aligned in the popular consciousness with right wing extremism, when back then they were just seen as kooky weirdos in Montana--but every year since then, we’ve been inching closer and closer to that world, and you know what? It wigs me out a little.

In 2000, Deus Ex was an absurdity, a fever dream of cyberpunk and early-internet conspiracism. It’s a shame that tonally speaking it’s been dead on for the two decades after. But honestly, I think the biggest thing that’s changed about the world since 2001 is our cultural capacity for optimism. I don’t mean in a sentimental way--although if you compare other texts heavily influenced by the post-2001 political milieu, you definitely see a sharp contrast with the optimism of cultural artifacts from earlier eras; science fiction was hit especially hard in this area (cf. RDM’s version of Battlestar Galactica). But I also mean this in a political/ideological sense. We cease to imagine that the world can be made better. We cease to imagine the possibilities that are afforded to us if we are willing to strive for our ideal society, even if we, personally, may never reach it. We make deals with the devil, we let the CIA violate the constitution and federal law six ways from Sunday, we don’t question the prevailing political-economic consensus even if it’s setting the planet on fire and pitching us headlong toward social disaster, because we forgot what it was to feel like those sunlit uplands we’ve been hoping for were just around the corner.

In the same way that my Catholic faith was eventually done in because the ethical principles I was taught were at odds with the manifest monstrosity of the organization that taught them to me and the metaphysics it espoused, my patriotism and my faith in America was done in because when I was a schoolkid, I really did believe that democracy and human rights and equality under the law were important. Some people probably had their illusions--if they ever had any--about the US government stripped away long ago, but I was a white kid from a reasonably prosperous part of town, so it took until the 2000s and my growing political awareness to realize just how flimsy these principles were when they were put to any kind of test. It made me angry; it still makes me angry. I was raised to believe there are some principles that are important enough that you don’t compromise them ever, no matter how scared or worried you are. Just as I was old enough to understand what was going on on the evening news, the United States betrayed everything I had been taught the United States stood for. And as a nation, we never turned back; we never apologized; we never repented. America, as an abstract entity, never was what I thought it was as a kid. But I think it could still become that, if it tried. Alas, very few people seem to believe such a thing is possible anymore. Most days, I’m not sure I do, either.

[wisteriafield]

Had a thought again, the saying "yesterdays heroes are tomorrows enemies" which was a sentiment about how tons of tankies back in the cold war would dispose of their muscle to remove the risk of being upended themselves after they did the dirty work or any other possible dissidents

But suddenly i thought of an original gundam story that could use that phrase in multiple contexts as a tagline for its story

I was thinking about how colonization and loss of collective identity create nationalist movements and 0079 paralleling that with Japan, i feel a similar thing happened with Vietnam

During WWII the US trained vietnamese soldiers to harass Japanese troops stationed in Vietnam and the people who volunteered (like ho chi minh) saw it as an opportunity to try to vouch for their peoples independence after being a french colony, but after the war the US treated vietnam like property to be returned to the french because that was their terms to agreeing to join NATO, which greatly angered them and caused them to be disillusioned with the us and became radicalized

Its often told that despite leading a movement, minh would eventually be cast aside from his own peers for their own ambitions once he became too old.

Notes about this series

Main character is a girl, with tan skin closer to how southeast asians look

The earth-a-like would be referred to as "the central planet" as earth federation is parallel to the US, the moniker refers to the US's spotlight in world politics as well as their own self absorption

The planet to parallel Vietnam is a dense two layered canopy jungle planet called Verdia because im brainstorming right now, and is a colony of the central planet

The first episode shows disturbing normalized things in the girls life as she runs an errand like carrying water; she memorized the location of land mines on the road as well as being completely unfazed by the sounds of battle nearby and constant bombing runs of mobile suits dropping bombs or burning trees in the upper layer canopy for better visibility, because the 2nd layer obscures even mobile suit vision by being just as tall as them. Shes heard stories of bombs that were dropped but didnt explode and how some of her friends died by getting too close to them out of curiosity and then suddenly exploding and knows to steer clear of ordinance even if it looks already used

Most of the central planet soldiers are around her age too, one night in her village she has an uncomfortable encounter with two of them wandering, obviously inebriated or on something else, and has to fight them off and steals one of their mobile suits and has to kill them to survive. The stress of having her idealized perception of central planet soldiers that was shown to her and being forced to kill to narrowly avoid sexual violence and death causes her to physically break down in the cockpit once the fight is over.

She is eventually found by a guerilla bloc that opposes the central planet and works with them, her uncanny survival ability owed to her understanding of the ecosystem (such as using firmer trees to make harder turns than MSes normally can) as well as the instinct shown in the beginning thats kept her alive up to this point. While she has a mass produced grunt suit (eventually customized), the gundam of the story itself is piloted by who would be her rival

Her rival embodies the idealization of Lyndon B Johnson’s “Hearts and Minds” program. A conscientious, compassionate soldier who truly wants to do good by the native population of the Verdians, but has misinformed convictions of what he’s been told the enemy is due to a lack of perspective. Disciplined to a fault, his rigid but noble nature clashes with those under his command, leading to a fragging attempt later on. He allows a private journalist to shadow him, with his naivety thinking that he can be a positive and benevolent force among his peers.

His MS is the only with beam tech, in particular there is an anecdote of one of his men wish he’d just use the beam saber to cleave down the jungle so they can get a better visual, reminding him in a time of which he did exactly that, which caused a mudslide that decimated a nearby village. The rest use machetes and ballistic weapons

The central planet has plenty of enemies beyond their reach, some of which fund the guerillas on this planet, but to avoid stretching the span of the plot this wouldn’t be too heavily focused on.

By virtue of a proxy war, the central planet has trained locals who believe in their cause to fight their own kind, in order to minimize casualties of their own

While they skirmish a few times before, a major turning point in the middle of the story is a parallel to the My Lai Massacre, his men organizing bombing runs and sortieing their MSes behind his back on a village due to their frustrations, betrayed expectations of wanting to go hunting for enemies rather than protecting and supplying locals, fueled by distrust and xenophobia for Verdians. The girl and the rival decide summarily that they have to work together, fighting together at first, and then she leaves the rest to him so she can try and protect some civilians, taking some children into the cockpit with her. Though she tries her best, many still die needlessly, causing her to cry uncontrollably clutching her head and pulling at her hair. The children make themselves small and hold each other, like walking in on a parent in a moment of emotional weakness they know they should not be looking at. The event ends with them having a tense and uneasy but mutual respect for one another.

The rival becomes disgusted beyond reconcile and deserts, realizing he could never have disciplined by example nor led by virtue, and that the attitude the central army has towards verdians is fundamentally wrong to its core (in which he recalls his CO who resembles General McArthur speak of verdians as savages whose natural state is chaos and evil)

The girl begins to doubt her place among the guerillas as they yearn to “reclaim” a national identity which they have not been able to call themselves true Verdians having been colonized by multiple nations with deeply vested interest in their resources, or being used as a staging point to reach the central planet. The movement for freedom begins to turn into a call to establish superiority by a show of strength, boldly planning to make a move to annex the capitol to prove it.

In the end of the story, rather than fight a battle trying to beat the central army, she needs to deliver the recorded proof of atrocities that took place on verdia to the journalist that the central army tried so hard to bury, in a 3 way battle between her, the central army, and her former allies she no longer wishes to associate with in the destruction waged in the capitol city during a mass evacuation effort, scenes mirror the infamous images of people clinging to helicopters taking off as they fill the helipad

The central forces eventually leave due to political backlash, but the planet is a smoking crater, cities ruined, millions of her own people dead, and despite her efforts, her own fellow verdians would later be consumed by propaganda from the central planet and defend their actions despite everything she did by the time she becomes an old woman coping with her trauma

The rival is publicly awarded by his government for heroism for his intervention during the massacre, but in private is court martialed and dishonorably discharged, while government officials lament the plummeting of their outside image while alluding to the Domino Effect.

[filmista]

The Big Lebowski (1998)

“That rug really tied the room together.”

Few films by the Coen brothers have such a high quotability as 'The Big Lebowski'. Almost every line of dialogue lends itself to repetition, time and time again, and characters like Jesus, a pedophile and excentric bowler who finds an erotic pleasure in the game, Walter, a Vietnam veteran with more than a few loose screws and of course Lebowski, the Dude himself, were all destined to become cult figures.

Like all Coen films, it’s primarily a style exercise, in which they take a genre (in this case comedy) and explore all its boundaries - how far can they go in their tendencies towards the surrealistic and even absurd, before going too far?

Jeff Bridges plays what is probably the most iconic role of his career as Jeff Lebowski, better known as The Dude. The Dude is a walking anachronism from the sixties, a hippie who spends his time with bowling, blowing and on "the occasional LSD flashback".

He’s introduced as the laziest man in Los Angeles, someone with absolutely no ambitions or wishes, except for everyone to leave him alone and mind their own business.

His peace of mind is disturbed when two thugs burst into his house, push his head into the toilet and piss on his carpet. They ’re looking for a millionaire of the same name, whose wife has made debts with the wrong people. The Dude, who lives in a mess full of debris from the sixties and marijuana-Paraphernalia, is not a millionaire. When the bad guys realize this, they leave again, but The Dude is now left with a urine stain on his carpet.

He goes to complain to the real Lebowski, an arrogant millionaire who throws him out of his office, and as a logical reaction to a preachy speech  (the bums will always lose!) he gets, he helps himself to the most beautiful carpet he can find in the house.

Shortly after, the trophy wife of Lebowski (Tara Reid, before 'American Pie') is kidnapped, probably by the same people who “urinated” on The Dudes carpet. Since The Dude is the only one who could recognize them, he is enlisted to hand over the ransom.

That’s the beginning of a plot that floats in about all directions at once and that’s almost impossible to explain in the less than two hours that the film lasts. German nihilists are involved, a vaginal/feminist artist named Maude (a delicious Julianne Moore), and the not-to-be-underestimated contributions from the bowling best friend of The Dude, Walter (John Goodman). (Shut the fuck up Donny! You’re out of your element!)

Whoever wants to complain that the film seems adrift should realize that provoking that feeling was precisely the intention. Just as The Dude leans passively backward and watches what happens to his life, the makers of the film didn’t provide a clear structure, a form in which the characters exist and act.

At the beginning of the film, The Dude is presented as "the man for our times," referring to the beginning of the nineties, the time of the first Gulf War. That background is clearly present in the film - when The Dude or Walter want to come across as important, they quote pieces from presidential speeches they have heard ("This aggression will not stand!").

That background works as an ironic counterpart to the totally laidback attitude of The Dude, who never worries about anything. A country at war,  seems like important news, and what does The Dude worry about? About his carpet, (because it really tied the room together).

The Dude is a relic from the sixties, who forms a perfect team with Walter one is a hippie, the other a pretty messed up Vietnam veteran who still thinks he’s in the jungle at times and pulls a gun at the drop at a hat. Walter gets one psychopathic plan after another, The Dude just reminds him to take it easy. 'The Big Lebowski' has no clear theme that everything revolves around, and if there is one at all then it’s perhaps the utter futility of all action, of all attempts to exert influence over the world.

“God damn you Walter! You fuckin' asshole! Everything's a fuckin' travesty with you, man! And what was all that shit about Vietnam? What the FUCK, has anything got to do with Vietnam? What the fuck are you talking about?”

Conversations in this film are doomed from the beginning when people talk to each other, they don’t know what the other person is talking about, they don’t listen to each other or otherwise simply lie because reality can have unpleasant consequences.

No conversation ever solves anything - either the situation of the characters remains status quo, or it only worsens them, due to the added confusion. You often get the feeling that the term 'Waiting for Godot' isn’t too far off. The same can be said when the characters finally do decide to do something.

Moments like Walter, interfering in the money transfer or trashing an expensive car are the most obvious examples of a character that finally undertakes action, but would have been better off not doing anything at all.

The wittiest example of this, however, is when The Dude, very much against his character, wants to be clever and wants to conjure up the imprints on a notebook with a pencil. Smartly thought out, and it works but ultimately it leads nowhere.

For the rest, this is a film that works seemingly very improvisationally and spontaneously. You can imagine how the Coens wrote this:  an idea leads to a next idea, then they come up with something else and so it goes on and then they make no attempt to give these ideas a more coherent form. That isn't necessary in the world of The Dude.

What keeps the film going is primarily the acting, which is remarkable. Julianne Moore does a fantastic imitation of Katharine Hepburn as Maude (probably my favorite fictional feminist), a fast-talking artist with a New England accent, and John Turturro is the absolute showstopper as Jesus, who probably gets the best line of dialogue throughout the film. It has something to do with a gun that goes "click"...

There is, of course, the visual talent of the Coens as well, who weren’t afraid to get lost in a surreal world in which everything can happen, and who also place those sensitivities into their camerawork.

Two brilliantly framed dream sequences and casual references to German expressionist cinema bear witness to this. Pay particular attention to the shot filmed from the standpoint of a rolling bowling ball, (always makes me slightly dizzy) that had to have been a first.

'The Big Lebowski' is without a doubt one of the most relaxed films I’ve ever seen, in which passivity becomes a lifestyle. The Dude chills, so the Dude abides. Hell yes.

@purecinema​