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death-and-other-myths · 1 year

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The Queen of Nothing Deadass Book Review

Okay look, this book has everything. Our main character is an unhinged monster. Her husband was raised by a cat or something. There's snakes. GOD DAMN I LOVE THIS BOOK.

This is an unhinged book review of The Queen of Nothing By Holly Black.

*SPOILERS AHEAD*

Well the 3rd and final book in this series starts out with a bang, with the prologue painting Cardan’s tragic backstory as a baby taken to meet his father by his shitty, neglectful mom. Baefin, the royal astronomer shows up and decides to ruin everyone’s day by saying, “Hey, the stars say this kid is going to topple your kingdom and you’ll never have another child after him.” — so right out of the gate, everyone hates Cardan. His siblings play with him like a puppy. His Mom is the flakiest asshole. She uses a… cat..?? As a wet nurse?? Like WOW LADY. Both CPS and PETA would like a word with you.

There’s a super sad part when Cardan is older, and Dane is messing with him. They are shooting a walnut off of a mortal’s head, who happens to be Val Moren’s lover. Val Moren was the old High King’s sineschel, and his heart was broken for the rest of his life after his boyfriend got shot with an arrow by these big dumb faerie princes.

Dane offers to switch arrows, so if Cardan messes up and hits the man, everyone will think Dane did it. Cardan says fine, but chickens out when it comes time to shoot. So Dane shoots Cardan’s arrow into the guy’s chest, and tells everyone that Cardan did it. So as punishment, they sent Asha into jail and cultivated Cardan’s reputation of being a heartless asshole. It’s just shit all around. GOD THIS POOR BABY I CAN’T BELIEVE I EVER THOUGHT HE WAS A MONSTER. HE IS THE SWEET, MESSED UP PRODUCT OF HIS AWFUL FAMILY. AUGH.

Meanwhile, in the mortal world…

Jude is watching Oak play war games with the other 5 year olds and he keeps accidentally glamoring them (so he appears invisible until he attacks). When all of his friends leave, she sneaks up on him and you know, almost chokes him out. Like sisters do!

He’s all upset with her and she’s like “I’m just trying to show you that fighting is real, and it’s serious, and it’s not a game!” and he says he never ever wants to be king, which makes this reader happy.

At night, Jude makes money by doing odd jobs for the local faeries. They apparently can live in the mortal world, usually because they’re in hiding or exile or just because they want to. She meets up with one of the Roach’s old friends, who is a goat man that gives her a job to go talk to a lady named Grima Mog and tell her to quit murdering people.

Grima Mog is part of the “Court of Teeth”, and is a warrior who was banished for one reason or another and is causing a scene in the real world. Jude goes over, tells her to cut it out, and Grima Mog challenges her to a duel on the roof. Jude wins, because she is still a savage badass. And in return, Grima Mog tells her the latest hot goss: That King Cardan is going to be overthrown before the next full moon.

Jude is like cool I don’t care about him. Yep. Totally don’t care about that loser who is also my husband. Fuck him. Ima ride the bus home covered in blood. So she does that.

And when she gets home, Heather is there trying to pluck up the courage to see Vivi again. But moreover, TARYN IS THERE in her flowy pretty dress and Jude is like “Get the fuck out.” (still covered in blood by the way).

Taryn explains that she MURDERED LOCKE. Like not even in self defense or anything. He pissed her off and slept around, so she stabbed him with a LETTER OPENER and THREW HIM IN THE OCEAN so his body washed up a few miles downshore all chewed up, and now she has to go to Faerie court and be glamored to tell the truth. So she’s asking Jude if she’ll pose as her and go in her stead.

Jude can’t really resist the opportunity to get back into Faerie land and slap her husband, so she agrees. Also Taryn drops the bomb that she’s pregnant too. So ... damn. I guess being bloodthirsty maniacs runs in this family. Like whoa.

Alright, Jude goes back to Elfhame pretending to be Taryn. She spends a brief night in Locke’s house where she finds drugs just… everywhere. Gold stuff is smeared on the couches and the servants bring her a faerie apple with dinner, which Jude finds hella weird since that stuff is like heroin to humans. She’s starting to realize Taryn isn’t as innocent as she thought. As if the whole “murdering her husband” thing wasn’t her first clue.

She walks into the courtroom and gives a curtsey, and Cardon goes “…Taryn?”

She’s like “Yes m’lord tis I, sweet lil’ innocent Taryn. Look at me all in my pretty little dress being demure and cooperative.”

Cardon smirks and is like “okaaayyyy. Begin the questioning.”

Jude is standing there thinking “Cardon you dumb fuck I’ve tricked you. You’ve played right into the palm of my hand, you treacherous scum.”

And we as the reader realize it’s pretty fucking obvious that he knows its her. And that he looks elated to see her.

He “glamours” her to only be able to tell the truth and asks her if she killed Locke. Jude says no. So Cardon turns to Nicasia and his Mom (who are also there) and is like “Welp, she didn’t do it. Guess we can all go drink and party and forget this ever happened now. Like we did when Valerian died. Remember how no one seemed to care about that?”

But Jude has to take it a step further and be like “I think the sea had something to do with it.”

Nicasia is pissed. “WHY would the sea start shit if we have a treaty with the land? Also Locke was my friend! If anyone killed him it was probably your horrifying sister. She loves murdering people. She does it like, all the time.”

Lady Asha chimes in like “It’s court gossip that Locke was fooling around with both you and your sister. Maybe she killed him to get revenge because she loved him.”

And Jude (as Taryn) says, “My sister only loves one person, and it’s not Locke.”

Cardan is unable to stifle his glee.

“And she wants that person dead.”

Cardan bristles.

Nicasia says they can’t trust anything “Taryn” says because she could be wearing a charm to resist glamour (implying Jude should strip in front of the court). But Jude can’t do that without revealing herself, since she’s all scarred up and Cardan knows every single one of those scars.

Luckily, our boy is on to this so he’s like “How about I personally inspect her for charms in my quarters. Alone. Away from here. This is totally normal, right?” And the court is like “Right!” So they’re walking to his room. And a servant runs into her with a tray, and slips her a knife and is like “Don’t worry miss Taryn. Your father is coming to save you.” And Jude is like What? Shit. What??

But then she’s alone in Cardan’s room and he is immediately like “Oh my god how are you? Did you get my letters? I wrote you every day but you never replied. Hi.”

And Jude is FLABBERGASTED “You knew it was me?!”

“From the second you walked into the room?? You’re my wife? God, you’re cute.”

She’s still pissed at him though for tricking her, which to us is very obvious to us that it was for her own protection, but Jude thinks he’s awful. She shows him the knife someone gave her and for a moment he’s like… wait… shit… is she going to stab me? She kind of likes making him think she will. But she tells him Maddock is up to something, then there’s a huge explosion. And instead of stabbing Cardan, she goes back to her warrior ways like “Stay here!” Even though he’s shouting at her not to.

Jude takes like 2 steps outside the door and gets knocked out with Faerie chloroform by some of Maddock’s knights.

She wakes up in a carriage with Oriana being carted off to Maddock’s stronghold. And everyone is like “Sorry Taryn! It was just easier to get you out of there if you were… you know… unconscious for 3 days.” (Wtf faerie people??)

So now Jude is STUCK pretending to be Taryn in Maddock’s snowy army headquarters near the Court of Teeth territory. She has to hang out and pretend to like Oriana, her prim and boring stepmother, and convince everyone she’s Taryn or Maddock will literally kill her.

During her time in camp, she meets Grimsen the master forge guy, who likes compliments and young girls (which is hella gross). She flirts with him to learn about his magic weapons and learns he’s making a crazy powerful sword for Maddock to use to take Cardan’s crown.

Jude has an awkward conversation with Maddock where he’s like “I never much cared for Jude. God she’s so annoying. You’re cool though.” He also tells her that when he saved her from the palace, half his knights got murdered in the process. He said the doors shrunk and trapped his men inside, then vines came down from the ceiling and strangled them. Only the ones running with her made it out alive and everyone else got savagely choked to death. So like… Cardan is a badass and can still control the land around him. And clearly he does not take kindly to people kidnapping his wife.

Jude decides she needs to run away before anyone catches on to her, and on her way out, she stops to inspect this cave set far away from the camp. In it, she finds THE GHOST who betrayed her like a little fucking asshole just because his buddy Dane got killed. He tells her his whole sad story. That Dane was like, his friend and ally. He even gave Dane his “true name” (which is a big real. If anyone knows a faerie’s true name, they can command them to do anything). And then somehow Locke got his true name from Dane. And was commanding Ghost to do all these terrible things. Then Locke gave him to Maddock. So Jude is like SIIGHHH God damnit okay I’m getting out of here and taking you with me. I just need to get the key from Grimsen.

She goes BACK to camp, where Oriana is waiting for her like a huge dick. And she’s all like “You’re not Taryn, are you?” But thank god she doesn’t rat her out. Jude tells her why she was masquerading as Taryn, which Oriana totally understands (everyone in their family hated Locke) and the only reason she’s here is because Maddock FAERIE CHLOROFORMED HER.

Oriana agrees to write Vivi to come get Jude if Jude agrees to leave and never fucking come back to Faerie. Jude, being a lying liar, is like “yeah! Totes!”

So Jude goes to bed and plans on waking up before dawn and stealing the key from Grimsen to grab the Ghost and run. But she gets a hand thrown over her mouth in her sleep and elbows her assailant hard. Before she can STAB THEM, the Roach is laughing his ass off like “Jude, come on. It’s us.” And I nearly screamed and fell off the treadmill when she realizes that it’s CARDAN who has his hand over her mouth.

YAYYY!!! Cardan needs more screen time. I was so sad when Jude got kidnapped like god damnit. The high king is there in regular-people clothes. No crown. No gold eyeliner. He tells her that he knew where she was because he went to visit Vivi in the human world, which Jude cannot even picture and neither than I.

She’s like “Wtf did he even WEAR?” She tries to picture him sitting on their beat up couch next to Oak’s half eaten Lucky Charms. So apparently Vivi, Taryn, AND HEATHER are waiting for them in the forest. They bullied their way into the rescue operation by refusing to tell the high king where Jude was unless they could come.

Jude, difficult as usual, is like “Neat. You can’t rescue me yet. I need to free the Ghost from his torture cave first.”

Cardan is like “Can you FOR ONCE just let someone RESCUE you without being DIFFICULT?”

She’s like “No. Help me get this key from Grimsen.”

And he says “Okay.” (Whispers: “I love you so much”)

So the Roach, Jude, and Cardan sneak into Grimsen’s forge to get the key. Jude totally doesn’t notice how good Cardan is at sneaking around, nor how good he looks in those pants.

Before they left, the Roach told Cardan he could come on the dangerous mission if he promised to leave if they got discovered. Cardan is like Oh my god FIIIINE why does everyone make me promise thiiiings. Stupid fucking promise magic.

He also made a promise to Jude that if she returned with him to Elfhame, and told him what she needs to tell him, he’ll un-exile her. So Jude is like HOT DAMN YES.

They break into the forge, get the key, and immediately trip a booby trap. Some darts fly out of the wall and Cardan instinctively protects Jude with his cloak that is basically bulletproof. They look at each other as if they’re surprised at this, because they are having a little fight where they can’t figure out who betrayed who, if at all. GOD THESE KIDS ARE SO STUPID I LOVE THEM.

Well the romantic moment gets ruined because the Roach is down with a dart. Cardan carries him and Jude is like “BRB I GOTTA TELL MY SISTERS TO LEAVE or they’ll get caught” (The knights are scrambling now in response to the alarm). Cardan, who is honor-bound to return to Elfhame is like “Fine. Fuck. Fine. Damnit.” And leaves his woman, who totally does NOT go to her sisters, but runs to the cave to get Locke. AND IN THE CAVE, SHE FINDS MADDOCK WAITING FOR HER.

She’s like “When did you figure out it was me?” and he says “Later than I would have liked.” — apparently it was the way she looked at the BOATS on the MAP in his tent that tipped him off, which is kind of a slight to Taryn more than anything lol

Jude refuses to surrender, and knowing all she has is a dagger, she runs off into the snowy woods and does a halfway decent job of defending herself, but ultimately gets stabbed in the stomach. Maddock is kind of surprised at this too, and he even seems like he’s going to spare her life until an ARROW flies out of nowhere and into his chest. Vivi, Taryn, and GRIMA MOG (not Heather) show up and threaten him. So they let him retreat back to his army.

Jude is like “Ya’ll I don’t feel so good.” And collapses, asking Taryn to stitch her side. While she’s on the ground, she remembers that she is a queen and tries to heal herself with the land… however one does that… but it totally works because it heals up enough. And when she stands up there are flowers everywhere, because that’s a fun side effect of being royal.

Maddock said he sent the Ghost after Cardan, so Jude leaves Grima Mog to protect her sisters and rushes off to the palace to stop “Garret” (his real name!) before he can kill Cardon.

She climbs up in the rafters, which is the Ghost’s favorite killing place, and is watching Cardan and everyone below when the Bomb climbs up in the rafters too, and AIMS AT JUDE. Jude realizes that Maddock tricked her, and sent her there to look like SHE is the one trying to kill Cardan. So she dodges the Bomb’s arrow and FALLS straight onto the banquet table.

There’s this cute part where Jude croaks “I lost your cloak.”

And Cardan is like “You’re a fucking filthy mortal liar.” In front of everyone, which stings. Jude thinks he believes she was trying to assassinate him too. We all know it’s cause he’s pissed she keeps putting herself in danger after promising she won’t.

The court is demanding her death, because they love dinner and a show, and Cardan says “DON’T TOUCH HER. That’s my wife.”

Jude passes out. Wakes up in Cardan’s bed with him being super sweet and tending to her. Passes out some more. Wakes up naked and gross so she takes a bath. Sees her sisters, who are super happy she is alive (I love the sisters, even stupid Taryn).

After they leave, Cardan arrives, which is sweet. Then the Bomb shows up with a medical tray, and says to him “you should leave.”

And he’s like “I’m not leaving. This is my room. And she is MY wife!”

Bomb: “I know, you keep telling EVERYONE. But I need to take our her stitches and you probably don’t want to see that.”

Jude goes “Maybe he wants to stay and watch me scream.”

And Cardan says “Maybe I do. Maybe one day you’ll do that for me.” And touches her head and LEAVES. AHHHHHH!!!!!

Jude gets her stitches out. Later, Cardan comes to fetch her because the Living Council wants to talk to her. But they take a detour to the rose garden for these two stupid idiots to work out their issues. Jude is like “I’M STILL PISSED THAT YOU EXILED ME.”

Cardan: “I wrote you letters?? Every day?? The contents of which were BEGGING YOU TO COME HOME. Also? I very explicitly said that you were banished until pardoned by the crown. You are also the crown. You could have pardoned yourself and come back any time you wanted.”

Jude slaps him lol. Smears his cute gold shit he wears around his cheekbones.

SHE IS PISSED. And again. They are so dumb. But I love them.

Cardan explains that he never thought she was capable of breaking? Or being sad? Or being defeated? In his eyes she’s like this immortal warrior demon that he wants to make love to all day. So he thought he was proposing a fun riddle for her to work out. Like Jude would show up any day now like “Hah! Good trick to make Orla think you were an ally. Let’s conquer the world, babe.” — instead Jude fell into a DEEP depression and ate fish sticks for a few months, all the while Cardan’s shitty MOM was keeping his letters from reaching her.

Jude feels embarrassed and foolish and in typical Jude fashion, does not handle this well.

She goes off on a tangent about how she’s not an immortal warrior demon, she’s SCARED all the time. Scared of this world and of powerlessness and of CARDAN. It’s a cute exchange and sweet things are said, but none of which are explicit. Will you idiots shut up and kiss already??? GAWD.

Jude goes and talks to Lady Asha who is languishing in her bed over the trauma of watching HER fall off the rafters. Jude basically hears this woman talk shit about her son who “was difficult to love” and sasses her something fierce, then leaves.

A knight comes and finds Jude and tells her that Nicasia is in the throne room with a bunch of soldiers. When Jude gets there, Cardan is holding her hand and speaking closely with her (OH SNAP) - but nothing weird is going on. They’re just friends and he’s comforting her because MADDOCK SHOT HER MOM WITH SOME KIND OF MAGIC BULLET. And she’s not dead but is in a coma. So Nicasia has to leave and make sure no one tries to unthrone her mom.

Jude puts two and two together that it was the Ghost that probably shot the sea queen. He’s out there running around being all crazy under Maddock’s control. Jude is interrupted from her council meeting by a messenger saying Taryn needs to meet with her immediately in Hallow Hall (which is weird).

So she gets up to leave but Cardan is like “I’ll come too.” and he looks at her so innocently (but also knowing this annoys her) and off they go TOGETHER in a carriage. There, they find Taryn in Balekin’s gross dungeon with the GHOST who she has trapped in a hole. He tells them it was HE who shot Orla, and we also learn the Ghost’s true name (Larkin Gorm Garrett).

The Ghost tries to kill Cardan, but Taryn uses his name to say “Hey, cut it out. You’re free of any previous orders.” and he’s just like “AUGH THANK GOD.” – Jude hands the Ghost aka Garrett over to the Bomb’s custody, and on the carriage ride back, Cardan is being adorable and asking Taryn about the human world. She tells him about slushies and gummy bears. You know, basic human stuff.

Cardan escorts the Ghost to the Bomb, but never comes to bed that night. Which makes Jude sad.

The next day, Randalin bursts in on Jude, and is like “Your dad is such a dick! And he’s being a dick because you’re the queen. Step down and make this easier on all of us.”

And Jude says “No, fuck you.”

And Cardan comes in and in the most elegant, royal way possible, drags his advisor into another room to threaten his life for insulting Jude. It’s very cute.

But Ranndal makes a good point. The lower courts are starting to assemble at the palace because word on the street is that Maddock is going to challenge Cardan to a duel for the crown, and they are either here to show their support or usher in a new king. It’s all very shaky right now.

But in true Faerie fashion, they’re like “Let’s throw a party to celebrate everyone coming into town!”

Jude wears a gold dress with like… battle-esque looking leather shoulder pads and chain-mail lookin accents. She looks like a badass, and this is made even better when Cardan gives a toast at the party that is like “Welcome everyone. To you I offer my honey and wine and to any traitors or oath breakers, I offer you my queen’s hospitality instead. The hospitality of knives.” and everyone is like hahahaha cheers (Jude included)-- meanwhile she’s sipping her cup like “Hah yes it’s true, I will murder you all without batting a eyelash.”

Heather and Vivi are also there with Oak and having a good time considering they have some stupid deal where when they go back to the human world, they’re going to break up and Vivi will erase Heather’s memory. It’s even sadder because Heather seems to be regretting it and Vivi seems to be all about it. Jude is like… when I’m done with this whole “murdering my cat dad before he can murder my king husband” thing, this is next on the list.

OKAY.

OKAY….

So like… after the party…

Jude and Cardan go back to their bedroom, and this is the cutest fucking scene. They start making out and it’s getting super steamy up in there– Cardan picks her up against the wall, and the second she shows any sort of hesitation, he’s like “Okay we don’t have to.” (So sweet) But Jude is like no no, I’m cool. One sec. And she steps into her closet to compose herself, because she hates how inexperienced she is and how he’s an expert.

So this badass bitch gets completely naked, and steps out of the closet just to see the look on his face. Then she kneels and asks if this is what he imagined she’d be like when he thought about her obsessively in Hallow Hall. He’s like um yes. Exactly this. But with more groveling.

“So what did I do?” she asks.

“I imagined you telling me to do with you whatever I liked.” - he says, kind of mortified and scared of her. Like this is such a cute vulnerable moment from him where she has his heart in the palm of her hand. And yay Jude for discovering her sexy self, which like every other personality trait of hers, is also terrifying. Cardan’s into it though. And they have very sexy sex on the floor, which is fucking adorable and sweet and I love it so much, and I also know this means something TERRIBLE is about to happen.

(This was in Chapter 21 by the way!)

In Chapter 22, Maddock finally shows up. He wants to come parlay as per traditional fru fru tradition. The Bomb is like “How about this? How about I shoot him with an arrow?” and Cardan’s like “Nah, I’m not a coward. But I’m not going to duel him either.” – So everyone is just hanging out gathering for this like spectators. Even Vivi, Heather, and Oak who REALLY shouldn’t be there and I’m surprised everyone is okay with this. While they’re getting ready to have the parlay, Jude and Cardan have a little moment.

Before they go out there, Cardan comes out and says that he LOVES HER, and walks away all cool before she can reply, which drives her nuts. Jude realizes she’s loved him for a long time. She loved him before they got married. AUGH so SWEET.

Maddock comes in there like “Duel me. Lookit my big sword made by this master smith. I’ll even let you use it.”

Cardan’s like “I’m not going to fucking duel you, dude. And you better put that fucking sword down in my throne room, kay thanks.”

“Want me to put it down? Okay.” And he DRIVES the sword into the ground, which causes an earthquake so strong it makes the throne cut in half. Like this hundnreddsss year old throne that Cardan’s family has been protecting for generations, just destroyed. God Maddock is an ASSHAT.

Then Maddock starts spewing his shit like “Do you think your people actually care about you? Like your stupid murdered family ever cared about you? The only reason you accepted the crown was because you so desperately wanted to be accepted by your family. Your subjects don’t even like you. My army is super loyal. You suck. DUEL ME OR I KILL THE SEA QUEEN with my magic bullet that moves if I tell it to.”

Cardan has this interesting introspective moment and says “A king is not his crown. You’re right that loyalty or love shouldn’t be forced. But Elfhame shouldn’t be won or lost on a wager, either. You fuckin weird bloodthirsty old man.”

Cardan CRACKS THE BLOOD CROWN IN HALF and is like “The people shouldn’t swear loyalty to a crown. They should support the king they want to support. Your choice is your own.”

And boom, democracy is born in Elfhaim.

The folk are bowing their heads and nodding, totally on board the Cardan train. But then Grimsen interrupts everything by FREAKING OUT about his precious crown and how upset he is that it’s broken.

Jude remembers that everything Grimsen makes is cursed, just as Cardan’s eyes turn black, and the roses over the throne turn black, and his eyes start fucking BLEEDING BLACK and before she knows it, her adoring husband from the night before TURNS INTO A GIANT FUCKING BLACK SNAKE!!!!! *Pterodactyl scream* NNOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Grimsen says “It will poison the land. No true love’s kiss will stop it. No riddle will fix it. Only death.”

Maddock jumps on the opportunity and wants to kill the snake. Jude is like the FUCK you will. Her army seizes Maddock and his little posse. Snake Cardan bites and kills Grimsen, which kind of solidifies that his brain isn’t in there, because Cardan is very much against murdering people. It’s just pure chaos up in the throne room. There’s a cute part where Oak tries to save his mother with a little toy sword. Everyone runs away and the snake gets stabbed a little by Maddock but is okay, and it curls around the throne as Jude is dragged out the room.

Babygirl has herself a much-deserved panic attack. Grima Mog is like “Get a hold of yourself” and Jude says “I fucking will. I’m going to stand up. I’m going to be okay in a minute.” Grima is like “I know you will be.”

I like Grima Mog. I like her even though she’s like a bloodthirsty cannibal. What is it with this book and making me really like murderers?????

Alright so Jude immediately swings into badass bitch mode. Calls the Bomb. Tells her to go get intel on who out there is plotting her assassination and who is vying for the crown. She says not to ask questions. Murder anyone who looks like they’re trying to murder her. The Bomb is like yep. Roger that. Calls her sister in. Tells Taryn she’s good at decorating things (like Locke’s house of debauchery). Asks her to make up a room to act as a throne room where she can talk to people and be scary and intimidating. Taryn is like yep. On it. She tells Grima Mog she is the new army general, because she doesn’t like the guy Cardan chose.

Jude gets all set up in her makeshift throne room since the real one is currently being guarded by a huge fucking snake. She sees the Living Council in there and starts planning on what to do about Maddock and his stupid fucking army and all of the courts that are currently splintering off trying to figure out who to be loyal to. She calls in Baphen and tells him to consult the stars for a way to cure Cardan. The Living Council is like “we should just kill the snake” and Jude is like “We’re not fucking killing the snake. Focus on Maddock.” So they talk that out and rally the troops.

Eventually the snake gets out lol it gets through the crack in the floor, and then runs around the land for a little bit doing snake stuff.

Wherever it touches rots and turns black. And people have gotten it in their heads that whoever slays the snake gets to be king, so it keeps getting attacked and killing indiscriminately. But eventually, it comes BACK because apparently the throne room is its den now. It curls around the broken throne and it’s snowing in there. The weather outside is also nuts and thunderstormy and hailing.

After her meeting, Jude enters the throne room and tries her hand at talking to the snake. She tries to see if there’s any recognition in its golden eyes, but there doesn’t seem to be. She tries to call on the land to heal him, but nothing happens. There’s a sweet part where she says out loud “Take my crown. Take my power. Take whatever you need, just heal him. Please.” — and even though the land or magic doesn’t answer her, I hope somewhere in there, Cardan heard her.

Okay so the prophecy said… that if Cardan ever came into the crown, the throne and the crown would be destroyed. But the prophecy also said that only if his blood is spilled, would a truly perfect leader emerge. I THINK this means that Jude is eventually going to have to slay the snake.

Jude hangs out in the snowy throne room with the snake for like HOURS until the Bomb comes. The snake has gotten used to Jude’s presence and doesn’t seem to want to attack her, so that’s something. It’s still impossible to tell if Cardan is in there though. I mean it doesn’t react to his name.

Anyway the Bomb says “Hi. I killed a ton of people that were plotting against you. You wanna come out of the snake room now?” And Jude says “Okay.” Just as Grima Mog comes back with word that Maddock wants to talk.

So they move her whole complicated throne set up outside because Jude is livid and doesn’t want these people anywhere near her fucking home and her cursed husband. I don’t know if I mentioned it earlier, but the people from the Court of Teeth are weird. They’re like ice faeries and they have this little girl who is their queen, but she’s just a puppet for her parents who keep her on a literal bridle. When they get there, the bridle is gone, but her skin is all scarred from where it was. And she’s in these horrible chains that look just as painful. Maddock shows up with that lovely family and isn’t wearing any armor.

He’s like “Hey. I never wanted to kill you. I actually quite like you. You wanna strike a deal? I’ll give you this bridle so you can control your snake husband. It was made by Grimsen and gives you complete control over whoever you want to restrain. That way you can remain queen and make sure your snake stops running around rotting the earth and killing anyone who tries to pierce its apparently impervious scales.”

Jude is like “You threw a bunch of men at it and figured out it’s unstoppable, didn’t you? What are you up to?”

“Make Oak marry this tiny icy abused child and you get the bridle.” Maddock says.

AND TO MY SHOCK AND HORROR, Jude is like “Okay.” — well she agrees to accepting the bridle on the terms that the war should be put on hold and it’s better for everyone if there isn’t a deadly toxic snake running around.

She doesn’t agree to the marriage. She agrees to have a bridling… event? Where she is going to attempt to bridle the snake, and if she wins then yay. If she fails and it kills her, then the armies are all gathered and can duke it out. She thinks Maddock is trying to rule through her the way she ruled through Cardan. Oh gosh I hope she’s up to something and not actually considering putting that thing on the snake. That night, she throws a wadded up paper into the ocean that says “If you ever loved him, help me.”

Jude and the Bomb have a sweet convo and Jude goes to try to help the Roach, who is still poisoned. When Jude sees him, she’s horrified to find that he’s not just sleeping, he’s having like… nightmares. She tries to heal him, but the earth magic won’t come. The Ghost, who is part of the gang again (yay!) tells her not to force it, just let it come. AND IT DOES! The roach is back and confesses his love to the Bomb and it’s fucking adorable.

Jude takes the bridle to that old hag lady that once tried to trick Cardan into marrying her daughter. Now she’s good I guess haha. The hag tells her that if she followed the instructions Lord Nell or whatever his name is gave her, and tied her hair around the bridle, then she would have been bound to the snake as well. Basically, it was a trick that would have trapped both Jude and snake Cardan into servitude. Thank god she found this out.

Jude also visits Heather in the library who is researching snake-themed faerie tales looking for a clue. Heather tells her that she struck a deal with Vivi that when they go back to the human world, her memories will be erased. But Vivi will have to meet her again and win back her love. But do it properly this time and be honest about the faerie shit from the get-go. And if Heather falls in love with her despite that, she’ll get all her memories back. That’s super freaking sweet I love them.

There’s like a banquet before the snake bridling.

And Jude is doing her best to be a badass queen and make speeches, but she’s so nervous. She gets through it though. Her and Nicasia have this super sweet moment (after Kaye, Roiben’s lady punches her) where Nicasia is like “I know you’re a bloodthirsty monster who is only using Cardan for his power, but please save him. I beg of you.”

And Jude actually CRIES with her and says “Tell me the riddle I must solve. Tell me what to slay. What to sacrifice. And it’s done. I’ll do anything to free him. I promise you.” And they just stand there, two enemies, crying together and realizing how much they love this poor cursed snake boi.

Taryn and Vivi find a chest with some badass silver armor made for a woman, so Jude wears that to the big “snake bridling event” that is happening out in the woods somewhere.

The snake is out. Doing it’s thing. Turning the land to shit. The armies are gathered on either side, and everyone is watching Jude and waiting to see what happens. Will she bridle the snake or will she be eaten? It’s growing bigger too, so by now, it could swallow a car.

Jude has some internal monologue… where she actually wonders if bridling him is the right thing to do. She has no idea how to break the curse. This way, Cardan wouldn’t have to die. He’d be trapped as a poisonous snake forever, but at least he’d be by her side. But she also remembers what Cardan said before he got cursed. That no one should be forced to swear their love or allegiance. That’s the kind of thing you should decide for yourself. And she remembers that Cardan said something along the lines of “I was on my way to becoming Balekin. Becoming a monster. If I ever go down that path again, I want it to be you that ends me.” — SO SHE CUTS OFF THE SNAKE’S HEAD.

HE DEAD. There is blood EVERYWHERE.

And the second she does this, fighting breaks out. It’s just a bloodbath all around while Jude is in shock. Maddock’s army gets defeated because Nicasia shows up with the sea. But instead of trying to kill Jude, Maddock comes to help her up.

He tells her “You’ve already won. Look.” And turns her around to the snake where a bright golden light has emerged. And out of it steps naked-ass Cardan covered in blood and looking regal as hell.

“Only when his blood is shed will a great ruler emerge”

BOOM. He calls for the fighting to end and Jude runs and hugs him. They hang on to each other and it’s so sweet. THE BEST REUNION.

Someone literally is like “Welcome back, King! Here, you want this cloak?”

And Cardan goes “Nah. I haven’t worn clothes in days.”

And literally rides buck ass naked in the carriage, covered in blood. HAH. Like. Yeah nudity is a thing in Faerie world but alrighty. Here we go. Cardan is back and he’s not messing around.

Everybody gets a bath. The general mood is SO HAPPY and celebratory. There’s a big ole banquet where Cardan and Jude slip away to the pretty glowing mushroom room behind the throne (which he fixed with his magic and split into 2 chairs). They finally have a moment alone, and Jude blurts out “I love you.”

He’s like “You don’t have to say that out of pity.” — which breaks my heart. That he STILL thinks she hates him so much that she seriously never will love him. And he’s CONTENT with just being with her even if it’s just for power.

But Jude launches into this awesome, fumbling speech about how she liked him ever since they went out together during the revelrie, and he helped her learn about each court and how to win them over. She says being around him is fun. And walks through their whole history together to help him understand that despite her being a cold, unfeeling monster, she loves him to pieces.

And they kiss. And it’s fucking adorable.

Jude also asks him what it was like being a snake and he says it was hella weird. He definitely had an animal brain. And was filled with fear and strife and a feral instinct to kill indiscriminately. But he says, he knew Jude. That’s why he was calm when she came and sat with him. He always knew her. (Awww!!!)

The next day they have a formal coronation. Apparently 2 people have never ruled together. It’s always a king or queen who has a bunch of consorts. But they get the ceremony where the court gets asked if they accept their king and queen, and everyone says yes because Cardan is awesome and Jude is scary. But they like scary. Then they get to give out BOONS to all of the people that were loyal or traitorous.

Grima Mog gets to keep the earth-shattering sword and continue to be general. Taryn gets cleared of all charges even though she totally fucking murdered her husband. The ice princess with the bridle scars gets freed and her parents get put in her custody. And she gives a creepy shark-toothed grin that makes Jude think maybe her parents were keeping her in chains for a reason. But that’s their problem!

Maddock gets brought in and Jude sentences him to live in the mortal world for the rest of his days, and to forget the name he knows (she’s talking about the Ghost’s name). I like that her and Maddock totally come to this agreement. He’s like “Yeah, okay I lost. You’re absolutely a badass. I hate losing but I’m also pretty proud”. I think he was really sad when he thought he killed her. So this is a better punishment than getting executed for sure. Oriana decides to go with him and Oak is excited because he loves the mortal world and now his parents are going to live there too. YAY!

I love how this book ends. It ends with Jude and Cardan flying home with Vivi and Oak to the real world. And they find Cardan some normal clothes (a tshirt over his black pants) and they have a cute little party at Vivi’s apartment.

Heather is there and puts up a sign that is like “Congrats Newlyweds!” And says “Vivi has told me some wild things about ya’ll!” Jude just hugs her. They also got them a cake with little gummy snakes sprinkled on it. And Oak takes them to pick up pizza.

Heather also got everyone paper crowns, and there’s this cute part where Cardan tilts his paper crown at an angle, like he used to wear the Blood Crown and it makes Jude laugh. The book ends with them toasting to a new future, and pizza, and friends, and Cardan says “To scheming great schemes.”

I love that this is where we leave them. In casual real world clothes wearing paper crowns and eating gummy snakes.

Boy, I loved this book. I love the world building. I love the slow burn romance. The sexy times. I love that Holly Black makes me like and cheer for this cold hard bitch Jude. I love that Cardan, who at one time was SO NOT LIKEABLE it was CRAZY became one of my favorite characters in fiction.

I loved when that heel turn happened, when he was a prisoner of the spies, and was so cute and charming. We all fell in love with him at the same time Jude did.

Then we spent 2 books watching Jude be a complete idiot and be the last one in the world to realize how much he loved her. And how much she loved him. She loved him more than power, which was her single solitary goal this whole time.

This mortal girl overtook a bunch of magical immortals and it was completely believable and fun and baffling. Damn I can see why Holly Black is so highly regarded. That was SO GOOD. I am going to need a few days to digest this.

I just keep thinking of them all happy and celebrating together over pizza and paper crowns. EEEEE!!!

Deadass Rating: 9.5/10

#cruel prince #jude x cardan #queen of nothing #folk of the air #cardan greenbriar #books & libraries #currently reading #fiction #literature #writers #the wicked king #holly black #jurdan #deadass book reviews #book reviews #book recommendations

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buysomecheese · 1 year

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WHOEVER SAID THAT Strange World (2022) AND DNDADS HAD SO MANY PARALLELS COME HERE AND LET ME PAT YOUR HEAD YOU ARE SOOOO CORRECT

I went with my dndads irl (she is currently an AoT person though smh) and we were two of eight people in the theater at the 7 pm show which? Criminal. That theater should’ve been Filled (although granted, it is a Wednesday night)

I was definitely talking too much about how I could connect it to dndads (and her to AoT) sooo everyone else was probably Annoyed but!!! That was great aftercare from yesterday’s episode. Got to see the knockoff Oak family in action and they end up functional? Win in my books absolutely

Also. Jake Gyllanhall or whatever his name is. He played the knockoff Henry Oak. He sounds Weirdly like Will Campos I got Genuinely tripped up sometimes

(THE WAY THE CHARACTER IS NAMED “Searcher” AND THATS THE LAST THING HE EVER WANTED???? AUGH AUGHHHHH FAMILIES REALLY BE LIKE THAT WITH THEIR EXPECTATIONS. NAMES AND THE WAY THEY ARE PROPHECIES BUT ARE COMPLETELY AUGH NOT IMPORTANT? LARK SPARROW. HERO AND NORMAL. GUYS AJDGSJDFHSHSJ)

#dungeons and daddies #anyways go watch this please #let your brain Chill after the episode #dndads #strange world #fuck disney #for not promoting this enough

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anythingwithanabv · 2 years

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i have a very simple wish, at least i think it is. one small smidge of a hope.

i just wish that i could find at least one single person that could align with me mentally.

they don't have to have the same things i do. they don't have to have synisthesia or autism or ptsd. they don't have to have ehlers-danlos and the early onset arthritis that comes with it. no crazy latex or any of the foods that come with it. nothing.

i just want someone who understands. what it means to be alone for most of your life, not just romantically but family and friend wise as well. but also how those brief moments of connection with those around you mean /so fucking much/

i live in an isolated bubble. my family doesn't understand, they've always written my physical and emotional pain off as "a product of the times". being the only living person on both sides of the family with diagnosed ehlers-danlos means that no one can relate. even though it's what took my grandpa out, even though it's whats put those before him in chairs. even though on my mom's side it's a long line of hemophilia and heavy ovarian/intestinal cancer. my last obgyn appointment, i didn't have cancer but the cysts were so bad it was recommended i get a full hysto before they become rotten inside of my body.

I was told that every time I get pregnant I will continue to loose every child.

I've had one abortion in my very early 20s before I got my diagnosis.

I've had six miscarriages since.

I've been told that with management and living in the hospital on bed rest and hooked up to machines and multiple surgeries to expand my uterus that maybe I could have a family of three, if I could find a partner willing to have only one child and see me through all of that pain

But I can't. I can't put myself or my potential future partner through the pain they would see me in. My body is literally just not meant to have babies. And that makes me afraid for where I'm at right now.

Ive had miscarriages on the four month mark. Earlier as well, obviously. But it's at the point where I would be a convicted murderer in certain states.

I would have six children if my body allowed it. Seven if I hadn't have gotten that potentially life saving abortion when I was 19.

Most of them with my ex "husband", who is still my best friend and I love very much. But he was and still is not at a point to raise a child.

Two with the man who beat me almost daily, drug me through the mud to where I didn't know who I was anymore, and tried to kill me multiple times. Every night I would come home and cook and clean for him and maintain a space for him and his children, and I would get kicked out to the street when they would come over because he was trying to make things right with his ex wife - and I wanted what was best for their family. Oak Grove concrete and surrounding forest is nice and warm july-october.

Luckily I didn't have any babies with either of them but at the same time it was because I can't.

Without strict medical care and someone monitoring me and taking care of me. As well as taking care of myself. Working hard right now to save up money for maybe sometime I can take time off and grow a family without physical stress literally doing it's worst.

augh. i just wish that someday i could meet someone on the same level as me and want to make the same kind of life as i want. a small life out in the boondocks with a couple of kids we could raise to be decent people. surrounded by music, art, life, love. where they never had a doubt in their minds that momma and dad ever loved each other. where pops from my side showed love, hopefully from your side too. maybe gramma instead, pops from me and gramma from your end.

i have a much more tender heart than i'd like to lead on. i think of you constantly, and there's a part of me that thinks you'd round out my other side. i dream of kissing you constantly. it's ridiculous.

ok but yeah i should figure my shit out. goodnight.

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chupacabrahhh · 3 years

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*~{ Garden of Golden Deer }~* a Fire Emblem: Three Houses Part 1 drabble

okayyy this is kinda brazy, I've never written fanfic for a video game before but man fe3h really got my imagination juices goin, and it's all thanks to my wonderful Golden Deers Q v Q

[ set during the aftermath of ch5 when Miklan is defeated & you rescue the Lance of Ruin. I recruited Sylvain the previous chapter and he replaces Lorenz in my house. The professor tells her students a story her father Jeralt once told her long ago. ]

It was nearing late afternoon, and the end of the Golden Deer’s lesson for the day. Byleth had everyone practicing combat moves they had drafted earlier, the sounds of weapons clashing ringing throughout the training grounds. The professor herself was locked in special dedication with Sylvain, the Sword of the Creator parried against his newly acquired Lance of Ruin. This was the first time he was allowed a feel for the relic in combat, but his clammy grip and furrowed brow gave insight to inner turmoil unlike Byleth had ever seen on her student’s face, especially when wielding a lance with which he was already very proficient.

“Of course he must still feel some type of way over Miklan. I bet he hasn’t laid a hand on the relic that stole his brother’s humanity since the day it was handed over to him. This must be very difficult for him..” she thought empathetically. Next to Claude, Sylvain was her most cocky and skilled student with their weapon of choice. She had never seen him mishandle a lance or without a confident smile on his face, but in front of her now he kept changing grip position and shifting the weight of the Lance of Ruin away from him, his body language screaming that he still wanted nothing to do with the thing. Byleth wished she could ease her student’s troubles, but she didn’t know what to say to comfort him about wielding this Hero’s Relic when she herself still wasn’t all that acquainted with the Sword of the Creator. And her past experience as a mercenary made her nothing if not numb to the taking and end of life, either around her or by her own hand. Suddenly, a memory from years past flickered back into her consciousness from a time when she was very small and had questioned death for the first time, before it became a daily part of her existence.

“Sylvain, that’s enough for today,” she nodded at him with eyes as kind as she could emote, and sheathed her sword. “Everyone, wrap up your sparring and meet me underneath the oak tree outside of the training grounds.”

She turned her back to the sounds of her students exclaiming victories over the others or getting into teasing squabbles. Byleth grabbed her water canteen on the way out and took a few gulps, knowing she would need the hydration for what she planned next. A part of her felt nervous at the coming prospect but an even greater part was assured in the comfort she hoped to bring her Golden Deer. Taking a seat on a large rock underneath the shade of the great tree, Byleth closed her eyes and tried transporting herself years back in her memories of being a small girl in her father’s arms. She could recall the feeling of his fur coat’s neckline as she gripped it, could smell the crisp air of winter’s final gusts as spring made its grand appearance across the land. At this time the mountains were still capped white but the valleys were turning lush and verdant, and buds of the bravest flowers were starting to stand tall, yet withheld the magnificence of their blooms.

Opening her eyes now, she gazed upon seven colorful and expectant faces all looking up at her with mixed expressions, her own little garden she was tasked with tending. Sigh, but the face of their biggest problem plant- er, child, was not among them.

“Claude, get your golden butt over here and sit down with the others. I haven't dismissed you yet.”

“Augh Teach, I was just a few steps away from making it home free, if only you had stayed in your trance a moment longer,” the house leader lamented teasingly but obediently plopped down in the back of the bunch beside Leonie and the Lance of Ruin, which Sylvain had expectantly distanced farthest from him as he sat towards the front of the bunch.

“Professor, are you going to make us meditate because that’s really not my thing and I already promised to meet someone for tea so,” Hilda piped up next and smiled sweetly as she twirled the ends of her pink hair, hoping to be obliged to leave as well.

“No, Hilda, we are not going to meditate and I promise this won’t be long. I’d like to share a quick little story with you all.”

“A story?” Lyisthea spoke next with a twinge of annoyance coloring her tone, but her doe eyes gave away her true excitement.

“Yes, this is a story my father told me back when I was a young child, and it’s stuck with me ever since. As we continue receiving missions that send us onto the battlefield, you’re all going to have to become very acquainted with death, which still might be a difficult or painful concept for you to grasp, understandably.” The mood had shifted from playful to pensive as she brought up death, and the change had caused that prickle of anxiety to return. Lecturing about battle tactics was something she had been forced to get used to by now, impersonal, automatic and well within her wheelhouse, but storytelling with colorful language and emotional sentiment was definitely leagues outside of her comfort zone. She gulped back the fear quickly and cleared her throat to begin, not wanting the silence to stretch any longer than it had.

“This is a story about what becomes of those who die on the battlefield.” Her opening statement grabbed the attention of all her students, with Leonie leaning in the most, obviously setting her expectations high as she hungrily awaited the words of Jeralt. “It was around the end of the Lone moon and I was small enough to be carried by my father but had already seen the handiwork of what he and his fellow mercenaries were hired to do. The image of bodies lying facedown on the land had been imprinted into my mind, and as we walked among the melting snow and coming flowers, I asked him what would become of those who died fighting? Accomplished nobles had grand sendoffs, and villagers were lovingly prepared by the hands of their families, but what was to become of those violent strangers who met their end in a random battlefield? Without missing a beat, he said…”

Byleth took a moment to appreciate the looks on her deer’s faces, with Sylvain’s amber eyes gleaming the brightest of the bunch.

“They become flowers.”

“Flowers!?” Raphael booming incredulous tone contrasted the professor’s soft spokenness.

“Yes, the fighters become flowers. As their blood and life force seeped out of their bodies and into the land, the great exchange was transmuted by the goddess into the most delicate and lovely creation, flowers. What’s more, he explained, was that the soul of each warrior who had taken life as their means of living would spend their next reincarnation as a flower, to learn the lessons of fragility, powerlessness, and surrender. A brief moment in their soul’s journey back to the goddess where they embody what it means to be defenseless. A child could come running along to pick it, a deer grazing and eat it, or at the end of the year it withers to the natural cycle of the seasons, never once harming another soul in its lifetime. He says that is how balance is restored and how all warriors learn the lesson of gentleness.” Byleth concluded her storytelling with a breath and leaned back with a tiny amused expression watching the unexpected existential and poetic tale turn over in their minds.

Leonie was the first to speak up. “Pardon me, Professor, but I have trouble believing Captain Jeralt the Blade Breaker came up with a story so… uh, flowery.”

“Very perceptive, Leonie, you do know him well. You’re right that that tale didn’t originate from his thoughts. My mother told it to him. But I can assure you he does believe in its message.” Leonie blushed and huffed embarrassedly at being praised by her one-sided rival but nodded once in acknowledgement.

“So Teach, do you believe in that myth? That you and he and all of us will reincarnate as flowers in the next life?” Of course she was expecting that from Claude, a languid smirk on his face as he awaited her answer with interest.

Byleth pondered her inner self for just a moment then nodded slightly. “Yes, I do.”

“Oh, I knew that to be true, Professor! I always noticed that wherever you walk, you always take care to never step on flowers. It’s something I always admired about you..” Marianne was softly glowing with a rare joy then remembered she was in the company of all her classmates and immediately wiped the smile from her face and looked downwards.

Ignatz spoke next, the stars of inspiration lighting his whole body language. “Professor, thank you for sharing such a moving tale! I believe it must be true, as it aligns with all that I believe the goddess values as well! A-and if I may, Professor, I believe that in your next life, you will be a grand and magnificent tree, just like the one we’re all gathered under.”

“Ignatz, so bold! I’m impressed with you!” Sylvain smiled teasingly and ruffled his peer’s olive bowlcut, causing the boy to blush an even deeper shade than his proclamation had him before. “And I have to say, I agree with you. The Professor has to be a majestic and wise tree,” he said, turning his smile towards her. Byleth noticed most of the darkness had left his amber eyes and his inner light was shining through once again, so even though the storytime was a bit embarrassing and uncomfortable, seeing him embody a bit of his old self again made it all worth it, as much as the wonder in the rest of her Golden Deer’s faces. Yes, she felt herself smile genuinely, they were indeed a vibrant garden of individuals.

#WHEW UM YEAH #STAN GOLDEN DEER #fe3h #fire emblem three houses #fe16 #fe3h fanfic #golden deer #fear the deer #moomoo ramblings #sylvain jose gautier #claude von riegan #Byleth eisner #Leonie pinelli #Ignatz victor #raphael kirsten #lysithea von ordelia #jeralt eisner #marianne von edmund #hilda valentine goneril

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cooltrainererika · 4 years

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Alt-talia: Child of the Groves

So this is another entry for @aphlithuaniaweek2020! This time it’s for the Nature prompt!

I just wanted to expand more on the Baltic mythology after “The Fiery One”, though this is a different interpretation than that one, in which the communication is less direct, and also exploring how pagan/nature-worshipping beliefs form. It’s actually really fitting that they form through, in nation terms, the innocent eyes of a child.

Also, due to that this fic might kind of imply that Liet has been around since even before the birth of the Lithuanian state? Maybe the usual interpretation of when he was born in Alt-talia and canon could still fit, but it might make more sense if he’s actually even older than that just in this one case. After all, there was one tribe apparently called the “Lithuanians”... I guess it’s a similar case with the Polans and Poland in which they were the most major tribe or the one Mindaugas ruled?

It’s late here again, so not spending too much time on this Author’s Note. Let’s go.

Child of the Groves

Shrouded in forest and bogs, rain and low hills, a young boy was born. When he came to for the first time, some time everyone forgot for that was not important, that was all he knew.

The sky was infinite, neverending, all-encompassing. He didn’t speak, for all He had to be was to be present, constantly watching over all.

Days started when the sun showed its face. It was gentle, warm… like a mother.

She was the mother of children without one of their own. Maybe that included him as well. She was at Her strongest after the harsh, dreadful winters came to an end.

But when she left, the moon took Her place, so that he may not be cloaked in complete darkness. As if together, they repelled the demons and evil spirits that lurked in the dark away.

If Saulė was the mother, Menuo was the father, he thought.

His light was not as warm or strong, but it was refreshing, calming as he went to sleep. He would wax and wane, but always, He was reborn.

Together, they nurtured the fields of rye that nourished him.

And if they were the mother and father, the stars must have been his sisters, comforting him on dark nights even when Menuo was awaiting revival.

Often, rain fell from the endless sky. It fell so often, he became known for its abundance.

During these storms was when it struck with a deafening flash, crashing, deafening, shattering the air around it.

The young boy could only cower, shivering in awe as it displayed its mighty power. He was terrifying, forceful… bold, strong, powerful. Strict, but with it He inspired respect.

And where He struck, warm flames, like pieces of the sun, were left behind. She could be destructive, yet warm, protective, removing the toxins from and softening the flesh of the creatures of the forest and cattle, protecting the home from darkness consuming it all. Which she would choose to be was unreadable, but it was possible to appease Her.

The cows nourished the peoples here; and he had found snakes around them. Where the cows went, they followed, and when the cows were bountiful, so were they, watching over them with their unblinking eyes. So, he assumed, they brought wealth. And for they foretold of spring and basked in the sun, they must have served Her.

So if he spotted one, he was sure to offer it milk. His young eyes lit up when one followed him home, where he hand-fed it frogs.

Other welcome guests of spring among the many were the storks; despite their size, taller than even he, they were nothing to fear, though they were quick to chastise him if he were to play too rough with their chicks. The smaller birds serenaded them with their adorable lovely songs every spring, making their presence known even if they were less keen to be seen.

And most of all, most omnipresent, were the forests extending as far as he knew. They were everywhere, and he merely lived among them, much like they merely grew below the World Tree supporting the heavens. They were bountiful and his playground, where he foraged and hunted. Inside the trees waited the spirits of the people who had left this existence, upon them bees built their nests where they produced sweet, delectable honey, and somewhere among them was nestled the legendary fern flower that grew every Midsummer.

But they were also dark, mysterious, dangerous. There were groves he was to never enter or defile if there was no intention to bring prayer. Every variety of tree was left by a divine being as their presence on this plane of existence, and were therefore sacred. Even when childish curiosity pulled at him he knew never to step foot. While surely, the Lauma who dwelled within would spare a child, even they had their limits; and a less merciful spirit could take him to another world, or take his life. Or at least, it would if he were anyone else, but he did not wish to know what they would do to an immortal entity like he. If a rabbit crossed his path, he knew it was a warning from above to leave. And the bears and wolves would be nowhere as merciful. Even on a mundane walk, he needed to be alert for a devil’s mischievous tricks.

It was only when they welcomed him did he explore further; if he was in danger, he could vanish into their depths and let them take care of those who dared to threaten him.

They could be fickle; that was why sacrifice was needed, just to bargain with them, even if even such things were not always heeded. He was at their mercy, for good or bad.

They were not entirely like parents, but not entirely beasts. He never had seen them, but everywhere around him, evidence of their existence lurked, from the golden pieces of stone that washed onto shore, to the very trees in the woods.

The sun rose and fell in turn with the moon, the seasons came and went. For time was a cycle with no start or end.

That was how the child rationalized the world around him, for that was all he knew.

—————

The birds chirped that morning as the last leaves from last autumn crunched under Lithuania’s feet.

The man grumbled to himself, rubbing his forehead trying to fend off a hangover, regretting thinking that treating himself with his first binge drinking session in a while wouldn’t be a big deal.

“Augh my head… At least I can walk straight without throwing up I guess. That’s an improvement.”

Small animals rustled through the foliage as he took a deep breath of the clear air. The trees loomed above him, silently observing the lone man on his morning walk. He no longer feared the forest, so all that was left was it beckoning him further.

Crunch, crunch.

Another deep breath.

Steadily, he thought he felt his nausea and headache subside.

He wandered without particular aim, stopping every so often to pick berries and mushrooms, for once in his life not worrying where he was heading, bathed in the warm morning sunlight, producing an almost trace-like state, letting himself sink into the past. Here, he felt his troubled mind at peace, restful, more than he had ever been even when he called such woods home.

A rabbit ran by his feet, and he let it pass by.

He saw the forest clear in his view; then, a building, an old church.

The forest opened back into neatly maintained grass, and further a parking lot, into civilization, albeit with few here at this time.

He continued to walk towards the red wooden church, near which an old, large, twisted oak stood, protected from defilement by tall fencing, surrounding it in a large circle.

He stared up at it; now old, aging, tired-looking, exhausted and kept alive by caring locals, while he continued to appear not much past his prime. The one family there, or anyone for that matter, would have never suspected this man remembered when this tree was young and fresh. But even he knew nothing about how long it had been here; it was most likely older than even he.

Here, the god of Thunder was worshipped. And mere meters apart, the small church stood. Yet, it felt strangely fitting.

“Oh, you’se were here?”

He turned; just off the platform stood Latvia, his mop of dark blond hair just now entering his vision, his pet grass snake taking a ride in his hoodie and poking its head out.

“You were here too?”

“We’s were thinkin’ the sames things, it looks like.”

Latvia joined him on the observation platform, leaning his lanky body on the railing.

“I’m wonderin’s if there’s really a path to a different world in there… I’ve never gone theres, even if I was always tempted to…”

Lithuania raised an eyebrow.

“Wouldn’t count on it.”

“You haven’t beens in there, right?”

“If you haven’t, I haven’t either. Would make a good movie premise though, wouldn’t it?”

“Wonder since when it’s beens here… Wonder whats it’s seens…”

Maybe within, there was indeed a different world; one he had known, and never completely lost.

That morning, the two reminisced over berries for breakfast, his hangover a distant memory.

#aphlietweek2020 #hws lithuania #aph lithuania #hws latvia #aph latvia #baltic mythology #alt-talia

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fireladybuckley · 5 years

Text

Moments in the Woods

Fandom: Supergirl Pairing: Lena x Reader Prompt: “Snowy woods” for @musikat18‘s birthday challenge Word Count: 2598 Warnings: Nothing, it’s pure fluff <3

The mid-afternoon sun throws golden beams of light around you as you walk, the snow glinting like diamonds as more of it crunches under your boots. You draw your jacket a little tighter around yourself as a cool breeze playfully ruffles your hair, and you pull your toque down a bit so it covers your ears completely. You hum to yourself as you walk, anticipation at what is to come bubbling in your chest. You haven’t seen Lena in almost two years, and now you are finally going to get to spend some time with her. You’d flown to National City to visit family but mostly because you’ve been lost without her; your heart aches to think just how long you’d been apart.

You slow as your destination comes into view. A tree, so familiar to you when full of leaves, looks very different with all of its branches bare. Still, the shape of its large, sturdy trunk brings back memories, and you smile as you come to a stop about twelve feet in front of it, looking up into its branches. You pull a folded note out of your pocket with a mittened hand, unfold it and read it through once more, even though you know what it says by heart.

“Meet me in the woods. You know the place. By that enormous ancient oak tree, the one where we buried our time capsule.”

Folding the note back up again, you glance around as you stick it back into the pocket of your wool coat. You seem to have beaten Lena here, and you shiver slightly as the breeze ruffles your hair again. You take one more look around before tilting your head up to gaze into the tree’s branches again, your hands jammed into your pockets, hoping they’ll keep you warmer than just your woolen mitts.

Out of nowhere you hear a slight whooshing noise, and before you can react, something hits you square in the back of the head. You let out a surprised shriek as the snowball explodes on impact, nearly knocking your hat off your head and sending cold snow down your neck. You whirl around in indignation to see Lena, half concealed behind a tree ten feet away, grinning.

“Is that how you greet me after almost two years?!” You yelp, and Lena laughs. “Ohh you’re going to regret that, Luthor,” you grumble, but you’re mostly playing. Honestly you’re somewhat delighted by the greeting, as it allows for immediate banter and play. You scoop up some snow and quickly compact it into a snowball, then straighten up to throw it only to receive another explosion of cold power to the chest.

“AUGH!” you yell, flailing momentarily before taking aim. Lena lets out a cry of laughter and spins away, your snowball hitting the tree behind her instead. Letting out a yell of playful frustration, you quickly crouch and scoop up more snow, making a few snowballs, then stand, ducking and successfully avoiding a third throw from Lena.

“Ha!” you shout triumphantly, as your first throw explodes over her shoulder, peppering her face and hair with snow. You throw another and miss; your third gets Lena in the back of the head and you throw your arms up into the air in victory.

“Okay, truce, truce!” she calls, laughing. You grin and brush off your mitts, then hurry towards her as she rushes towards you. You meet in the middle and throw your arms around her, hugging her close as she encloses you in a tight bear hug. You can feel tears stinging your eyes as you bury your face into her long, thick hair and hear her sniffle a little as she holds you close.

“I missed you so much,” you mumble into her hair, and feel her squeeze you in response.

“I missed you too,” she replies, slowly breaking the hug and moving back only far enough to be able to look at you, her eyes shining with joy. “You’ve been gone far too long.”

“I know,” you say, taking her gloved hands in yours, curling your mitts a little clumsily around her fingers. “But guess what... I might be able to get a transfer to National City in the New Year! I might be able to come home!” Lena lets out a squeal and you’re immediately engulfed in another hug, which you happily return.

“That would be amazing!” she exclaims as she pulls away, squeezing your hand. “You must tell me all about everything!”

“I will,” you say, smiling. “But first... why are we meeting out here? In the middle of winter?” Lena smiles at looks up at the tree, her eyes filled with warmth.

“Well, I feel like it’s sort of our tree,” she says, and you nod in agreement. “Digging up that time capsule a few years ago was wonderful. We’ve been friends for so long now.” She squeezes your hand again and you squeeze back, nodding again.

“Since we were nine,” you agree, smiling at the memory of the two of you as kids, and in your early teens, gossiping and giggling together. Your first stolen kiss, right under the branches of this tree.

“Well, I have a surprise for you. Come on, we need to walk a bit,” Lena says, and she tugs on your hand, trying to lead you on. You follow her willingly, falling into step beside her until holding hands became a little too difficult in the snow and you let go reluctantly, trying to keep your balance.

It starts to snow, and you stare up into the tree branches as fat flakes float down around you, settling on everything. Lena leads you through the snow for a good twenty minutes before she slows to a stop, looking down at something.

“Hm,” Lena makes a noise that sounds somewhere between contemplative and concerned, and you step up beside her to see what she’s looking at. She is peering down at something clutched in her hands, and you fully intended on looking to see what she was holding, but your eyes catch on her face and stay there. Her hair, liberally covered with fresh snowflakes, frames her face, her cheeks rosy, her eyes bright. She is so beautiful it makes your breath catch in your throat and you nearly forget about anything else until she makes another noise, her brow creasing as she looks down at the thing in her hand.

Shaking yourself, you manage to tear your gaze away from her face and look down to see a compass in her gloved hands. Making an incredulous face, you raise an eyebrow at her, as she looks at you with a mixture of ruefulness and worry.

“Um, I think we might be lost,” Lena admits, and your eyebrow raises further, as you peer at her suspiciously. Lena had always been a prankster when you were kids, and this was just like her.

“Uh huh. Compass not working?” You ask, your tone expression much skepticism.

“It’s fine, but I don’t recognize any of this,” Lena says, gesturing around. She sounds genuinely worried now, and you feel your heart flicker with concern. “I think we went too far northwest.”

“Oh,” you say, unsure. You glance back the way you’d come, eyeing the trail you’d left behind. “We could backtrack. Where are we going, anyway?”

“I don’t want to spoil the surprise. Let’s just try it.” Lena says, and you follow her as she walks back down the way you’d just come. Every once in a while Lena looks down at the compass and makes a concerned noise, and you dutifully follow her along for a good fifteen minutes before you start to get very concerned. You’d taken a new path shortly after backtracking, and you’re starting to worry that Lena was truly lost. You glance around nervously; there’s maybe a half hour of sunlight left, and you feel a bit of fear creep into your chest. The thought of being stuck in the woods at night, in the cold and snow, is terrifying. You hurry to keep with Lena, about to ask her if maybe you should just go back for tonight, when she stops so abruptly that you walk into her from behind. Her arm is immediately there to steady you, and you stare at her, wondering what was happening.

“Look,” she says, pointing. “There’s a cabin there. We can ask them where we are.”

“Er, Lena, I- I don’t think...” you trail off, unable to coherently explain why the thought of knocking on the door of a random cabin in the woods is freaking you out.

“It’ll be fine, come on!” Lena reassures you, then grabs your hand and pulls you along. Sighing, you follow, remembering just how strong willed Lena is as she drags you along behind her.

As you approach, you see that the cabin is quite nice. There’s a lovely porch out front with a bench and a small wood stove, and the windows, frosted from the cold, glowing in many colours from holiday lights within. It didn’t seem like a murder cabin, at least, and you feel a little better about following Lena up the few steps towards the front door.

Instead of knocking, as you expected, Lena instead fishes in the pocket of her jacket and brings out a small ring of keys. You watch, your mouth falling slightly open, as she inserts a key into the lock and turns; you hear a click as it unlocks, and make a noise of disbelief. Lena turns to you, grinning, amusement glinting in her eyes.

“Got you,” she says, before pushing the door open. A rush of warm air, scented with cinnamon, cloves and other holiday smells washes over you, and you make a noise of indignation.

“This is your cabin?” you ask, your voice higher in protest. “I thought you were lost!! Unbelievable,” you grumble, as she laughs and gestures for you to come inside.

You step inside despite your indignation at being tricked, and feel yourself taking a deep breath. The cabin smells incredible, the spicy scents you’d detected before mingling with the smell of burning wood from the crackling fireplace nearby. The cottage is somewhat small but looks incredibly cozy, a couch and several chairs gathered around a coffee table by the fire, the furniture strewn with fluffy blankets. Lena gestures to the boot rack, so you slip your boots off and follow her down a hallway, sliding a little on the smooth wood floor in your socks.

“This place is adorable, Lena,” you say, indignation forgotten as you look around. “It’s so...” you pause, at a loss for words to describe how welcoming and warm the cabin felt. “so cozy.”

“I couldn’t resist buying it when I saw the photos online and realized how close it was to our tree,” Lena says, showing you the bathroom, her bedroom, another bedroom. You gape slightly as you realize your suitcase was sitting neatly in the corner of the room, and Lena chuckles as you look at her.

“I had it brought over. I thought we might want to stay here for a night or two,” she says, raising an eyebrow at you. You grin and nod, then reach out for an impromptu hug. Lena laughs and hugs you again, then leads you back to the porch area to store your jacket.

“I have another surprise,” Lena says, and you follow her wordlessly, wondering how many wonderful things she was going to surprise you with today as you trailed after her through the kitchen and to the back porch. You step outside as she gestures to do so, the cold from the wooden boards under your feet immediately sinking into your socks, but you gasp as you look around and spot what she’s pointing at.

“Ah! Hot tub!” you gasp, dancing on the spot, both from excitement and the cold under your feet. “Can we go in now?”

“Of course,” Lena agrees with a soft laugh. She leads you back to your room and disappears into hers, and you meet a few minutes later in your bathing suits. You admire her curves as she fishes a couple of pairs of flip-flops out of a nearby closet, watching her long black hair swishing around her shoulders as she moves.

You spend several hours in and out of the hot tub, chatting and spending a long time just catching up, sitting yourself up on the side of the tub whenever you got too hot, letting the cold air attack your skin for as long as you could stand it and then sinking back into the water again. The snow starts falling more heavily, and you move over to sit beside Lena, looking out into the trees as the snow falls around you, melting as the flakes hit the steam rising from the hot tub. You put your head on her shoulder after a while and she smiles, wordlessly moving her hand to gently stroke your thigh under the water.

After a long time, the two of you were getting a little too wrinkly and sleepy after the excitement of the day, so you hurry inside, giggling and shrieking softly as the cold air prickles your hot, wet skin. After getting changed, Lena makes you both steaming mugs of rich hot chocolate and you curl up by the fire with her, leaning against her side once more. Lena puts on a holiday movie, but half an hour in you can barely keep your eyes open.

“Here, lie on my lap,” Lena says, putting a soft cushion on her lap and patting it. Happy to obey, you pull your feet up onto the couch and lower your head onto her lap, squirming a little until you’re comfortable. Lena strokes your hair absently as she watches the movie and you spend the next hour fading in and out of blissful, light sleep, thrilled to not only be with Lena but be cuddling like this, lying in her lap. It’s more than you could ever have wished for, and when the movie ends, you’re disappointed, despite having slept through most of it, because you know the evening is over.

Ready for bed, you’re about to say goodnight to Lena and head to your room when she smiles at you and catches your hand.

“Y’know, you don’t have to sleep in your bed,” Lena says softly, threading her fingers through yours. You look up at her curiously, and she smiles again.

“I have a king sized bed, and it’s pretty lonely by myself. Care to join me?” You smile slowly as you realize what she means and you nod, squeezing her hand back. She leads you into her room and throws the covers back, and you get into bed, watching her as she changes into her pajamas (you’d already changed) and slides into the bed next to you.

“Come here,” she says, after turning out the light and settling down onto her back. She holds out an arm and you scoot closer, laying your head down on the crook of her shoulder, curling up along her side. She loops the arm under you around your back and shuffles closer until you’re snuggled up close. Lena falls asleep almost as soon as she’s comfortable, and you listen to her soft, even breaths as you begin to drift off, hardly daring to believe you’re tucked in close at her side, your joy slowly fading into wonderful dreams as you fall into a deeper sleep than you’ve had in years.

Send me an ask or message if you want to be added to (or removed from) my tag list! <3 @outside-the-government @littlecarowrites @star-trekkin-across-theuniverse @stormsnevercometostay @southernbellestatues @mad-girl-without-a-box @reading-in-moonlight

#fanfic #reader insert #lena luthor #imagine #lena luthor x reader #lena luthor/reader #fluff #winter wonderland birthday 2018

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