#autistic people are very relatable

[aphel1on]

another thing i love about laios:

HE IS GENUINELY A REALLY GOOD LEADER!!

despite struggling with the finer points of socializing, he has all the qualities necessary to be a good leader.

(i refer to the manga a lot in this post as someone who's read most of the manga at this point, but i avoided any specific spoilers)

He cares about all his teammates' well-being

He is extremely level-headed in a crisis

He is excellent at strategizing (within his areas of expertise; in the manga someone eventually points out he's pretty much useless at fighting other humans, lol)

If a plan fails, he is immediately thinking up a fallback plan - he doesn't give up

He is acutely aware of his teammates' strength and weaknesses, and accurately assigns them tasks suited to them in times of need.

He is perhaps not innately a 'leader-type'; he's fine deferring to the rest of the party most of the time, even when he doesn't understand why. (Just going along with the blindfold in the sauna for example, lol.) He was ready to head back into the dungeon by himself before Chilchuck and Marcille volunteered to come along. He doesn't think of himself as particularly smart or special. And when the party meets others (such as the old gnome couple) they don't tend to assume Laios is the leader.

But he has an unwavering vision (during the story it's rescuing Falin), and, you see it again and again: when they enter difficult combat, or any time things fall apart and everyone is panicking, Laios steps up and takes charge. His calmness helps everyone else calm down, and they generally follow his lead. They intuitively look to him in a crisis, to the point they're shocked the few times he doesn't have any ideas.

It kind of ties into another thought I have; he is repeatedly seen as "having no interest in other people" by other characters, but this isn't really true! He struggles to understand people and he is aware that they struggle to understand him. This leads to him mostly focusing on the things he IS good at understanding, such as monsters. But he genuinely makes a big effort to understand the people he cares about. In the manga, there are times you see him think deeply about his friends' struggles and motivations. For much of the early arcs, he understands Chilchuck better than Marcille or Senshi do. He and Marcille don't get each other that well at the start of the story, but by the end they have a very strong reciprocal friendship.

I could go on about it honestly but this post is already very long. Tl;dr laios one of the characters of all time to me and i think people should appreciate his leadership skills more!!

[astraltrickster]

I want to introduce a disability concept that I've been calling paradoxical stigma.

What is paradoxical stigma? It's the stigma against:

1) The actually disabling traits of a disability that's in the spotlight for the parts of it that are convenient to accommodate, and/or

2) The diagnosis of such a disability itself,

Due to the assumption that the spotlight renders it "destigmatized" and no longer in need of support.

As of right now, at least around this corner of the internet, the most obvious examples of this are autism and ADHD. It's become disturbingly common for people to treat those like Diet Disabilities That Don't Actually Count. It's been really interesting to watch the popular attitude about these disorders shift from "autism is either a tragedy or an excuse depending on 'severity', and ADHD is just a myth used to drug kids into complicity instead of teaching them actual skills", to "actually these are real disorders that affect people in all aspects of their lives", to "I GUESS they're real disorders but honestly EVERYONE has them can't we worry about more SERIOUS ones?" and...not in a good way.

It comes up...partially as a legitimate backlash to people with these disorders who think that invisible disability and/or neurodivergence begins and ends at their experience, and...yeah, that's a problem all right, in fact if I had a dollar for every asshole who looked at my struggles with things like keeping my space clean or not fucking up my medication doses DUE TO ADHD and went "well I have the same diagnosis and I don't have THAT problem to THAT extent, obviously you're just lazy and careless", or saw me having an AUTISTIC meltdown and called it "bullying" or worse because I get loud and insisted that I NEED to CONTROL that CHOSEN BEHAVIOR if I want to not be a Bad Person, or heard about how AUTISTIC overstimulation defense measures play into my trouble with cleaning and insisted that well THEY'RE autistic too and don't have that specific problem so this is clearly weaponized helplessness because I just don't WANT to learn to do better, I'd...probably have a lot more assistive tech. I also get really, really frustrated and upset when people use RSD to mean "if you ever criticize me that's the height of ableism, no matter how much I'm actually fucking up and hurting you" - especially since it's so often invoked as a defense against being lightly criticized for ACTUALLY harmful behavior and as much as it sucks there IS no substitute to make that more emotional-dysregulation-friendly beyond basic kindness in criticism. That attitude exists. It's bad.

And yet, theoretically, I think we could all agree that the response to that should NEVER be to reinvent the old "ugh, those aren't REAL disabilities, those are just EXCUSES that LAZY PARENTS make for kids being kids, what they need is DISCIPLINE" stereotype of the 90s-2000s, just now aimed at those same kids as adults, in ostensibly supportive spaces - or arguably worse, to revert all our understanding of support needs to the externally judged high-functioning/low-functioning dichotomy.

What really sets this apart as paradoxical stigma, rather than just garden-variety lateral ableism, is that 1) we CAN theoretically all agree that reinventing those stereotypes is a terrible response, yet many people do it anyway, and 2) these stereotypes are invoked not only because of that intracommunity misbehavior, but both within and outside of disabled spaces, because of the illusion that you can bring up those disorders and have them taken seriously because fidget toys and stim videos and weighted blankets are popular now. An event having quiet rooms, or backlash to Autism Speaks being visible outside of autistic spaces, will be taken as "proof" that autism stigma is over forever and anyone who complains about it is just a whiner who doesn't know how good they have it...even when what they're complaining about is, say, being barred from migration. Paradoxical stigma is enacted by people who think that they, alone, are standing up against someone who's throwing others under the bus to continue to progress their own limited agenda...when in fact they're speaking a very popular shitty opinion, that MANY of the people making that claim would disagree with HEAVILY once separated from the "crab bucket reflex".

As a personal example, the result is that when I'm looking for assistance, I'm...hesitant to bring up those diagnoses, because I know I'm going to be written off as "obviously a high-functioning low-support needs scammer who just doesn't WANT to CONTRIBUTE TO SOCIETY and EARN things" - even by people who otherwise agree that people should be allowed to survive even if they truly are the living strawman lazy bum who has nothing wrong with them but just WANTS to lay around eating junk food and doing drugs all day, AND that disability deserves to be respected, isn't black-and-white, and affects everyone differently; somehow when these combine in the context of my diagnoses that have had a very sanitized version of themselves "destigmatized" on TikTok, they cancel out into blatant reactionary sentiment indistinguishable from what I'd hear from my shitty token Republican uncle.

So, that's paradoxical stigma. Feel free to use the term if you find it useful.

[keungking]

imagine getting casted as an omega. the showrunners look at you and say yeah you look breedable enough

[rosenbergamot]

mister laios dungeon meshi…. as an autistic person, i dont think ive ever related more to a character before.

like laios being so disinterested by the human world around him, unable to understand it and growing bitter towards humans because of how much and how easily they hurt. with monsters theres a Reason for what they do — its all survival, and that makes sense. humans, however, hurt just to hurt. all the suffering that he and falin went through have been because of humans. why would he like them? why would he ever be interested in them? he and falin have Never been afforded being seen as humans.

i feel like, with laios, he likes who he likes, and he doesnt really think about people he doesnt like. sure they exist, and he knows and acknowledges this, but theyre not his. the only humans that really matter to him are the ones that hes grown attached to. hes very compassionate but thats because its in his nature. if he wasnt a kind person at heart, i dont think he’d bother with people at all. that kindness is such a core part of him.

if he were in the modern world i just KNOW that guy wouldnt care about a career or school or even all these supposedly human aspirations that people have-- these long term goals, these big lofty ideals. he would just care about the day to day. working to ensure theres a roof over his head and food on the table. reading about monsters. having dinner with his friends. making sure his loved ones are all doing okay. and i can just imagine people being like "but dont you want... more?" and laios being so confused. why WOULD you ever want more? why would he ever want to give himself to the rat race? be exhausted constantly? work towards a goal that only other people view as worthy? why, when what he has right here is exactly what he wanted!! laios doesnt have these "human" desires and thats a core part of why he feels so alienated from other people. so different. like a monster himself. and as someone who is autistic, let me just say.….. me too buddy.

[starry-teacup]

Jon: *describing what he was like when he was younger, explaining why it was hard to raise him*

Me: Oh. wow. No, that's me exactly. I- I didn't know other people were like that. Nice to know I'm not the only one.

Me: ...

Me: GUYS I'M NOT AUTISTIC. STOP

[sciderman]

I swear I have read your big post regarding Peter Parker's neurodivergence and why it is best to avoid labelling him, but he definitely has a weird brain

Can't find it and feel kinda sad about it cuz I deeply related to it

i know exactly which post you're talking about and i can't find it either! i've raked through my archive, and it's just - nowhere to be seen. i think tumblr eated it (it happens.)

really, tumblr's search functionality is so so useless, i don't know what to tell you. there are plenty of keywords i can search to find it that post, but the search functionality actually just does not work!

undiagnosed audhd-addled peter parker, my darling, my light, my life, my everything.

i think peter parker's such an interesting creature to write, because a lot of people will point to a certain behaviour about him and say "this is an autistic thing, right?" but a lot of those behaviours are actually, in my head, tied to certain traumas in peter's life too.

people say "oh, the food thing, peter's a picky eater because he's autistic" and yes, absolutely. but also it's tied to his trauma with his parents.

peter gets overstimulated, and yes, it's an autism thing, but also he was bitten by a radioactive spider and his senses are dialled to 11.

it's a similar case i've found for myself, too – where a lot of friends i have kind of diagnose me because i have autistic traits, but actually - i'm hesitant to claim the label or pursue diagnosis because, actually, i know where these certain behaviours come from, and they come from certain traumas. there are events i can pinpoint in my life and say "yep. that's where this behaviour comes from."

so - i think there's a lot of overlap between trauma and autistic traits. the brain is very complex! i think the reason for that overlap is maybe as simple as the fact that people with autism and people with trauma are both doing the same thing - developing behaviours to protect themselves or soothe themselves. so - i think it's nice to be able to see a character like peter parker, who may or may not be autistic, but recognise behaviours in him and see yourself in him.

people who go undiagnosed for whatever reason - people who are really good at masking - so good, in fact, that they have no idea they might be on the spectrum - everyone and anyone at all can look at peter parker and recognise themselves. because i think we discredit the thought that every single brain does the same thing! develops certain behaviours in order to survive. every brain has that same software - we've just all been faced with different hardships that we need to overcome, and that's were all the differences come in.

autism is a spectrum, i guess - everyone falls into it to some degree. and i think events in your life probably push you along on it. but i don't know, i didn't study brain science. probably what i'm saying is very stupid and uninformed. of course there's brain chemistry involved. but i know people in my life living with autism and certain events in their life have exacerbated certain behaviours or made coping with it a lot more difficult. so maybe trauma is a catalyst.

[godsfavoritescientist]

Sometimes the way people talk about missing social cues is so over the top 😭 people will really say stuff like "how can someone live such a soulless joyless existence that they don't understand my joke" and "if you don't laugh at this are you even human" and "I can't imagine being such a miserable asshole that you think this is serious" and "how stupid do you have to be to fall for this 💀" and on and on like. I promise autism isn't a moral failing

[schmweed]

[drdemonprince]

your post about only communicating the minimum needed reminded me of the gricean maxims (concept in linguistics describing how people communicate)! your advice was very similar to the maxim of quantity :)

From the UPenn School of Arts & Sciences site:

Grice's Maxims

The maxim of quantity, where one tries to be as informative as one possibly can, and gives as much information as is needed, and no more.

The maxim of quality, where one tries to be truthful, and does not give information that is false or that is not supported by evidence.

The maxim of relation, where one tries to be relevant, and says things that are pertinent to the discussion.

The maxim of manner, when one tries to be as clear, as brief, and as orderly as one can in what one says, and where one avoids obscurity and ambiguity.

[yet-another-autism-blog]

Progressive media be like "how do we make it clear that this canonically autistic character is an asshole and all the other characters are right to hate them? Oh I got it! We make them publicly experience symptoms of autism that are deemed inappropriate!"

[oceanwithouthermoon]

i always considered saiki aro, but you make me really rethink with kubosai. .

THATS SO LOVELY, i know you didnt ask but.. im going to take this opportunity to talk a little about my stance on kubosai and saiki's sexuality.. i mean i have talked about it multiple times but still, lots of people dont see what i see in these things sooo im gonna keep talking about it lol..

(under the cut cuz i made this WAYYY longer than i meant to, sorryyyy..)

i still see saiki as aroace personally !! just not romance repulsed aroace, rather just on the aroace spectrum.. i think hes the type of person to use 'queer' and 'aroace' as umbrella terms for himself instead of caring about specific labels, but if i had to, i would say he fits best with demi based on my interpretation.. (i usually see him as with no preference, but based on the text its easy to see him as having a preference for men too..)

i do get why people would see him as romance repulsed and its a lovely hc, but saiki is pretty much mlm coded, at least in the way i interpreted it.. i mean, he almost straight up says he has a crush on satou in the manga.. its great if people interpret it as a 'squish,' but i personally dont see that,, he kinda blatantly threw them in a romance chart together, blushes every time he sees him, etc. HOWEVER aroace people who relate in some way and project their experiences onto saiki will ALWAYS be valid, so i dont care !! i literally do that lmfao im an aroace lesbian,,

anyway, saiki has a lot of silly tsundere moments that lots of people who dont really look at the show past surface level (and usually dont read the manga) see as him literally hating his friends, family, romance, etc when its very much shown how hes being a tsundere and he LOVES his friends, family, AND romance.. (canonically loves romance not as in he definitely experiences romantic attraction, but as in he just is weirdly into love stories and such but wont admit it lmao, i talk about that chapter where he gets obsessed with those strangers love story he saw with psychometry but its just so good lol..) so i think that misinterpretation is where a lot of the discourse in this fandom comes from, like people who think he GENUINELY hates teruhashi ? they r literally best friends he cares about her so much..

kubosai is a ship i started loving, not really from seeing their canon interactions, but from analyzing the characters in the manga and seeing who i think would actually fit together and have a good dynamic..

im very weak for characters who are ashamed of their dark past, afraid of their own strength and that they might hurt the people they love, scared to tell their loved ones their secrets, etc.. and kuboyasu and saiki fit the bill perfectly, so i looked at them and immediately thought BOOM what if they were in love..

their dynamic is fun, even though we didnt get a lot of canon interactions.. theyre so similar yet SO different at the same time..

they both have pretty tragic pasts and family lives, both VERY protective of their friends and family and would do anything for them, both have bad coping mechanisms (mostly refusing to acknowledge that anything is really wrong at all), etc.. and yet, theyre almost opposites in the way they actually carry themselves..

saiki appears apathetic at all times in front of others even though his internal monologue or how he expresses himself when hes alone can be really emotional.. kuboyasu is pretty happy all the time even though he has pretty thinly veiled anger about half the time..

kuboyasu is just a human boy who was taught to take up as much space as possible for his survival, defend himself with his fists, honesty and loyalty and trust are essential, etc, while saiki is an almost-god whose upbringing taught him to try his best to take up NO space at all for his survival, dont get involved unless its from afar, dont get close with anyone, dont trust anyone, etc..

saiki prefers to protect his people from in the shadows, going as far as to literally stalk them to make sure theyre okay without their knowledge, while kuboyasu is unafraid to show how much he cares and prefers to literally come out swinging to protect his people.. put them together and you get two silly guys who will literally protect the other with their life despite knowing damn well that theyre both fully capable of protecting themselves..

kuboyasu is also like.. one of the only people in the cast other than saiki who can be like.. a voice of reason sometimes.. he would be so good for saiki and would make damn sure he knows when hes being irrational or dramatic (because cmon, its saiki.. hes such a drama queen all the damn time..) and i just think he needs that in his life..

yasu would reign saiki in when it comes to his everyday dramatics, and in turn saiki would reign yasu in when it comes to his over the top romance standards (and probably his anger issues and overreactions too..) and yet at the same time they would take comfort in each others silliness.. saiki may be like "we cant just drop out and get married, thats not how it works" but isnt it so refreshing for him to have someone that cares about him so unconditionally ?? unlike his own family ?? itd scare him at first, but hed make yasu tone it down to a healthier extent and itd become soo comfortable..

[autistic-beshelar]

ah yes dungeon meshi, the manga where an autistic man gets repeatedly bullied by people he thinks are his friends and not a single person supports him

[wwheeljack]

I genuinely remain confounded by the two sides to the Tech debate in this fandom. I've seen so many people on the Tech Lives side proclaim that they will be attacked, or insulted or made fun of for their ideas, all while they argue that those who see Tech as dead do so only because they want him dead since he's "autistic".

I've seen people on the Tech is Dead side go out of their way to comment unnecessarily on people who want him back with their beliefs on his death. This is unnecessary, just as it is unnecessary for those who believe or want Tech alive to make assumptions about those who believe the opposite.

That multiple people believe that is why someone may believe he's dead is confounding. The idea that Tech may be dead is not predicated on a hatred for autistic people, or autistic like characters. It isn't malicious for people to either want him alive, or to have accepted his death.

Frankly, it is tiring how the main focus of Tech's entire being since season two is that he died, and he's potentially autistic (The Crossing included, he never has been outright confirmed as such). He is so much more than that, and deserves to have people focus on him aside from just his death.

Curate your fandom experience by muting words or tags that may upset you.

[brittlebutch]

I genuinely love the way Billie holds herself with my whole heart; more characters need to start doing it like her <3

[coustar]

owl house fandom did you know “child of the stars/star child” is a way to say autistic child in Taiwan

ANYWYA The Collector is autistic I’ve been noting his autistic traits this whole time and barely realized what star child meant so it’s funny seeing everyone call him that knowing what it means kinda out of context

It’s such a pretty phrase too, I’m gonna start describing myself with that too tbh

[peridots-pixiwolf]

[Start ID. A digital drawing of Minos Prime from Ultrakill, who's wearing a strapless slit dress and sandals of the same deep purple. He faces towards and slightly to the right of the camera, his head is tilted further right. With one hand he gestures in a vague pointing motion, his arm folded and held close to his body. There is nothing in the background, but bracing himself on one arm, Minos is implied to be leaning against something about the height of a countertop. The background is a blank purplish black, save for three diagonal stripes in the colors of the bisexual flag. End ID]

Shading study that quite literally came to me in a dream two weeks ago, after this post apparently beamed itself into my mind

(also a few edits below the cut! they're very slight but whatever :])

[Start ID. Three different versions of the previous drawing. The first changes the tone of the lighting from blue to pink, and similarly the shading from pink to blue. The second replaces the faint black border with pink, purple and blue, syncing with the stripes in the background. The third combines both these changes. End ID]