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springwitch26 · 2 months

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flowers and firsts (melissa schemmenti x fem!reader)

summary: being the gracious friend you are, you offer to share your weed with melissa and jacob for a fun friday night at their place. when jacob goes to bed, things get heated between you and your favorite coworker.

warnings: smut (18+), consensual high sex, recreational marijuana use (be responsible), strap-ons, praise kink, vibrators, soft melissa, stoner reader, attempts at comedy (it's a fun fic guys), mario kart 8 GONE SEXUAL

notes: happy 4/20. this wasn't requested, but my OCD is beating the fuck out of me rn and writing it brought me comfort. let me know what you think. much love from your favorite slutty stoner 💚

"i know kids are curious, but eighth grade is a bit early to try weed, right?" jacob bounced his leg anxiously as he raised the question to his friends in the teachers' lounge. one of his students had just been suspended for bringing marijuana to school, and jacob was characteristically worried about the kid.

"i started in tenth grade, but teenagers are growin' up younger and younger these days," melissa responded. barbara raised her eyebrows in shock, and melissa reacted with an amused half-smile. "like trouble over here. when was your first time, hon?"

you tried to ignore the innuendo as melissa invited you into the conversation. you had been hired to teach the third grade a few months ago. you and melissa had a rapport from the first moment you walked into the lounge. every time you were in a room together, you made each other laugh. melissa made you feel at ease in your new workplace, and you felt lucky to have her.

because you both got along so well, ava often paired you up for team-building exercises and combined-class activities. the two of you weren't exactly close friends yet, but you had chemistry. that much was obvious to everyone at abbott.

"tenth grade for me, too," you answered between sips of your morning coffee. "a friend and i did it in the bathroom before art class. good memories."

"what, did you have some kinda fancy vape pen?" melissa cocked an eyebrow at you.

"i wouldn't call it fancy, but yeah, we mostly smoked carts," you explained. "bought 'em from the upperclassmen in the parking lot before school. i'm pretty sure they weren't pure weed, though. we had to be smoking battery acid, or plastic or something."

"god, your generation is weird. smokin' chemicals out of a flash drive," melissa said, gesturing wildly to convey her amazement. "the first time i got high was in detention. my buddy steve would sneak in and bring us cigarettes and blunts. they all looked the same, so we played russian roulette with it. now everybody walks around with those neon devices in their pockets."

"i can't tell if you're being serious or if you're referencing the breakfast club," you giggled, nudging the redhead's shoulder jokingly as you sat down next to her.

"ha ha, very funny, little miss," melissa deadpanned. you had asked her to stop calling you "kid" a few weeks ago. she respected your wishes by coming up with all sorts of endearing synonyms to call you instead. "what about you, jacob? you used to vape—ever experimented with mary jane?"

"or mark john?" you added. melissa snorted and gave you a playful swat on the arm.

"no, actually, i haven't," jacob said, rolling his eyes at your quip. "i didn't have many friends in high school or college, and after that i had to be drug tested regularly for teachers without borders. i never got the chance."

"well, if you ever feel like trying something new, i have plenty to share," you offered. "can't have you over at my place, though; every time i bring guests around, my crazy neighbor thinks they're cia operatives."

everyone in the room except melissa gave you a shocked look. barbara looked especially aghast, her brightly painted lips curled into an 'o' shape.

"damn, i thought janine was the only after-school stoner here. what a pleasant surprise!" ava broke the silence.

"i suppose i would partake given one of those weed pens you mentioned," jacob said to you. "the only thing i've been vaping lately is air, and it gets stale after a while."

"oh no, i haven't used a cart since high school," you clarified. "if you're smoking with me, you're smoking. don't worry, it's easy. just like vaping, but better in every way."

"first of all, no smoke circle is happening under my roof without me." melissa chimed in, looking at you with a silent question in her eyes. you nodded—of course you wanted her there. "and second, where do you even get the weed? if you buy the legal stuff from new york or massachusetts, you're not bringin' it to my house."

"i wouldn't dream of it," you affirmed. "i only smoke authentic philly weed. don't worry about it; i got a guy."

---

that friday night, you showed up on melissa's doorstep wearing a casual t-shirt dress, with a tote bag full of goodies slung over your shoulder. jacob was the one to answer the door.

"hey! come on in, melissa's making pizza," he said cheerfully, a bit jittery with anticipation.

you followed jacob inside and found melissa leaning over the kitchen island, smiling fondly at you. she was wearing sweatpants and a loose-fitting striped shirt, with her hair loose and a bit messy from cooking. she looked radiant and comfortable.

"you know, the pizza will taste better if we smoke before dinner," you proposed.

"bold of you to assume my pizza could taste any better," melissa joked back.

"i'm game," jacob said. "i want the full marijuana experience."

"in that case, help me set up," you said to the history teacher. "i want you to see how everything works."

you laid the contents of your tote bag out on the island countertop: a ziploc baggie full of flower, a little purple grinder, a holographic pink bowl, and a yellow lighter with white flowers on it.

"jacob, this is a grinder," you said, uncapping the grinder and opening the ziploc bag. "we're gonna use it to break up the flower into little pieces."

"oh wow, that is... pungent," jacob remarked. he watched as you ground up the weed, then handed the pink glass bowl to him.

"and this is a bowl, or a pipe if you're lame," you said. "you wanna do the honors?"

jacob grinned and reached into the grinder, bouncing excitedly on his heels. you put a hand on his shoulder to steady him. he filled the bowl, looking to you for approval several times while he did it.

"awesome, we're ready," you said. melissa placed her pizza in the oven and joined the circle.

"let's take it out on the patio," melissa suggested.

she led you and jacob out to the patio, a small ledge overlooking the city with three chairs conveniently set up in a tight circle. it was 7pm and the sun had just begun its descent, casting philadelphia in an orange glow.

the three of you sat down. you held the bowl up to your lips and moved to light it, but melissa snatched the lighter from your hand. she leaned in and held the flame to the bowl, her face inches from yours. you tried to concentrate on the task at hand, rather than her painted lips or her vivid green eyes dancing all over you.

you took a long inhale of the smoke and blew it up toward the sky. melissa plucked the bowl out of your hand and took a hit. she held the smoke in her lungs for an impressive amount of time for someone who didn't smoke regularly. she passed the still-lit bowl to jacob.

as soon as jacob took his hit, you knew it was gonna hurt. he overestimated his own lung capacity, and he didn't even finish blowing the smoke out before he was coughing.

"happens to everybody, pal," melissa patted jacob's back to ease his pain.

"ugh!" jacob sputtered between coughs. "why didn't you guys tell me smoking hurts?"

---

several rotations later, the three of you were high. well, you and melissa were high; jacob was outright fried. not altogether unexpected, but funny as hell.

when melissa's pizza was done, you all resolved to eat outside so you could watch the sunset together.

"this is heavenly, mel," you moaned after a delicious bite of the pizza.

"ha!" jacob exclaimed, and you and melissa turned to him, confused. meeting melissa's gaze, he threw his arms up in the air—like he expected her to understand what he meant by that one noise. "she stole two syllables from your name. you can't just take syllables, y/n. they're not yours."

"since when do you care about private property rights?" you quipped back before turning your attention to melissa. "i'm serious though. this pizza is sooo good. like last-meal-on-death-row good."

"keep talkin' sweet like that, and you can call me whatever you want," melissa replied with a wink, sending a flood of warmth to your face.

"what were we talking about? just now?" jacob chimed in, his eyes wide and darting every which way.

"... i actually don't know," you said with a giggle. you tried to remember, you really did. but you could feel melissa's eyes on you, and you heard her words echoing in your head. and it was hard to focus on anything else.

"short term memory loss! add that to the list of things you guys didn't warn me about," jacob scoffed.

"jacob, eat your damn pizza," melissa cut in. a peaceful smile graced her lips as she stared out at the city skyline, now a twilight blue in the absence of the sun. "i've missed this feeling, everythin' all fuzzy and light. how are you holding up, lovebug?"

your heart fluttered at the endearing name. melissa, it seemed, wore her heart on her sleeve when she was high—judging by the adoring way she gazed at you while she awaited your response. maybe the weed was messing with your head, but you swore she'd never looked so beautiful.

her eyes lacked any trace of the fire you were used to seeing (though they were quite red). for once, she wasn't on guard. her plump lips curled around her wine glass as she took a sip of merlot, vocalizing her sensual appreciation with a hum.

her long auburn hair was tucked behind her ears, resting on her shoulders in loose waves instead of her preferred meticulous curls. you wanted to run your fingers through her locks, feel their softness and smell her shampoo.

entranced by the redhead, you forgot she had asked you a question. melissa tapped your knee in reminder.

"i feel perfect," was your soft reply. you were beaming brightly before the sentence even finished. rather than sitting in a chair, you felt like you were floating on a cloud. the colors of melissa's patio and the sky blended together in a beautiful, swirling mosaic. the sounds of the city were clear and pleasant as philly wound down for the night. "i'm so happy."

"glad to hear it, sunshine. but i'm pretty sure jacob is asleep," melissa chuckled and patted the man's shoulder. he didn't stir, remaining slumped and conked out in his chair. "he's been losin' sleep over the kid who got suspended. bending over backwards trying to keep 'em on track."

"oh gosh," you said sympathetically before patting jacob a bit more firmly than melissa had. "jacob, hey. c'mon, it's time for bed. get up, go get cozy."

your words were slurred and hushed, but they seemed to pierce the veil of jacob's slumber as he awoke with a start.

melissa stood behind jacob's chair, gently rocking it back and forth to bring him back to the conscious world.

"can't go to bed, we just started," jacob grumbled, but his eyes were still closed. he was dangerously close to falling asleep again.

"from the looks of it, you're either gonna spend the night sleepin' in this chair or in your bed, so get up," melissa said resolutely.

"yeah, and besides, there's always next time," you assured jacob as he stretched and groaned his way into an upright position. you made eye contact with melissa, and this time you winked.

---

after helping jacob into bed (his motor skills really deteriorated when he got high) and smoking another bowl together, you and melissa were ready to continue your night.

"alright, sweetheart, it's down to you and me," melissa said, sitting down next to you on the couch. "what do you wanna do?" you pondered the question, looking around the room for inspiration.

"oh my god, you have a nintendo switch?" you asked excitedly, gesturing to the black tablet plugged in next to the cable box.

"that's jacob's. he showed me one of the games on there—animal crossing, i think it was. i don't get it. why play a game if you can't win?"

"alright, i know what we have to do now," you said, walking over to jacob's game cabinet and pulling out mario kart 8. holding the case up for melissa to see, you grinned. "four races. whoever wins gets whatever she wants from the other."

you were distantly aware of the implications, but you were too high to reconsider what you'd proposed.

you figured melissa would want something from your thoroughly decorated classroom if she won. if you won, you'd ask her to make you a custom pizza.

"you have no idea what you just started, hon," melissa said with a confident smirk.

"may the best woman win."

---

how the hell was she so good at everything?

melissa had needed some time to warm up to the switch controls, complaining about how the little red rectangle was too small to hold comfortably. but she was a quick learner with skilled fingers, and soon she was absolutely demolishing you.

it also didn't help that your coordination escaped you when you were high. you had driven off of too many ledges to count.

"two wins in a row for luigi," melissa bragged as she crossed the finish line of the third race. "hope you're ready to give me whatever i want, princess. don't think i forgot about our bet."

"daisy won the first race," you pointed out calmly. "i can still bring it back. but you know what this last race has to be?"

"what?"

"rainbow road. it's the perfect final showdown course," you explained, navigating to the course with your controller.

"get ready to be mine for a night," melissa said lowly. god, you knew she was talking about the bet, but she knew damn well what she was doing. by this point your panties were almost uncomfortably wet.

you leaned into her unconsciously as the race countdown began. you both held your controllers tight, almost shoulder to shoulder.

3...

2... (you push down the gas pedal button)

1...

GO!!!

daisy took off with a boost of speed thanks to your timing. luigi had a false start as his engine blew out. you cheered, and melissa cursed.

"how the fuck do you do that?" she asked, exasperated.

"play the game!" you demanded without looking away from the screen.

the competition was intense. you and melissa weaved around curves, nearly fell off the road, passed and bumped each other. neither one of you spoke until lap 3.

coming up on one of the last turns of the last lap, your hands jerked and you swerved. reacting on instinct, you bent your arms dramatically in the other direction to overcorrect.

melissa's arm bumped into yours, sending your controller flying out of your hands.

"hey!" you said, thinking she was cheating.

"hey yourself," she said, her eyes still fixed on the screen.

if she was gonna play dirty, so were you. you thrust your arm forward to grab her controller. but she saw you coming from a mile away. effortlessly, she shifted the controller into her left hand alone and held it up and out of your reach.

desperately competitive (and stupid high), you launched yourself toward the controller. you'd stop at nothing to get even. before you could snatch it out of her grasp, though, your balance faltered. you fell out of your position and started to fall backwards off the couch.

melissa dropped the controller and wrapped her arms around you, pulling you back up before you could hurt yourself. there was only one problem with this heroic act.

you were in her lap now.

her hands remained clasped at the small of your back, and your balance shifted forward. you put your arms out for stability, and wrapped them around her neck.

"careful, don't hurt your pretty head," melissa cooed. the two of you stared at each other for a moment. she surged forward and pressed her lips to yours.

if sitting outside with her felt like floating, kissing her and feeling her body against yours felt like riding the ocean waves. but unlike the atlantic, she was warm. you relaxed into her warmth as her tongue licked into your mouth.

you felt her tongue everywhere. in response to her, you gave a few tentative kitten licks. she moaned, she moaned, and pulled back before giving you one last kiss on the lips.

she stared at you with heated eyes for a while before switching her focus to the tv.

"look, baby," she said smugly while gesturing to the tv screen, where luigi was driving victory laps after placing first on rainbow road. "i won. you remember what that means?"

it was a fair question, considering how many conversations you forgot happened tonight. still, you nodded shyly and bit your lip.

"smart girl," melissa praised. "can you guess what i want from you?"

you shook your head no with a frown. melissa beamed and kissed you on the forehead. then she leaned in to whisper in your ear.

"i wanna touch you everywhere. i wanna hear your pretty voice moan my name and see your face scrunch up when you come. i want you to feel me all over you, and i want you to spend the rest of your life craving that feeling," melissa said her piece all at once, as if revealing a long-buried secret to you and herself.

you swallowed.

"would you let me do that?"

you nodded, pressing your forehead against hers.

"i need to hear you say it," she said softly, so softly you almost missed it.

"i want you, melissa. i have since the day we met."

that was all the confirmation melissa needed to attack your face and neck with kisses.

"sorry, let me just," melissa said as she pulled away abruptly and reached for the tv remote. she changed it to cable mode and navigated to the jazz music channel. "there we go, perfect."

"you're ridiculous," you giggled upon seeing melissa's proud face.

"honey," she leaned in to nip at your ear before whispering, "watch your mouth. you wanna be on my good side tonight, trust me."

you shuddered and wiggled in her lap, aching for her touch. a slow grin spread across her face and her hands found your legs, running up your thighs and lightly dragging her nails along your skin. they soon made their way up your waist to your breasts, cupping and squeezing them. melissa even took two fingernails and circled your nipples teasingly, to which you squeaked.

"do you know how many times i thought about havin' you like this?" melissa whispered. her voice was sweet like molasses and flowed right through you. you could feel your nipples tingling where her fingers had been, swimming in a bubble of desire. "in my lap, all whiny and squirmy."

she pinched your nipple and you keened. you held your breath as her hands once again traveled to your thighs, making a beeline for your core.

"and now i got my angel in my arms," she said, gently spreading your legs for better access. you sucked in a breath and trembled when her palm caressed you through your panties. "but i gotta say, even in my imagination you were never this wet for me."

she punctuated the sentence by pressing her pointer finger on your clit through the fabric, drawing tiny circles. you gasped and hid your face in her neck. the high made every touch feel like it rippled through your whole body. the world felt like it had been knocked off its axis, and melissa was your new center of gravity.

"aw, don't be embarrassed, babygirl. it's cute you're so sensitive," melissa soothed, easing you out of the crook of her neck to face her again. she trailed her fingers down to swirl around your wetness under your panties. "let me take care of you, yeah?"

---

a few minutes later, you were spread out on melissa's bed, naked save for your (now useless) panties. she'd practically carried you to her room as you were baked and horny and unable to walk straight.

in spite of your writhing and needy whines, the redhead took her time to savor you. she kissed every inch of your torso before she even considered taking your panties off, mumbling sweet nothings between love bites.

when she finally pulled away to admire her work, the view did not disappoint. you were panting and covered in melissa's marks, and god, you were her favorite piece of art ever created. all hers.

"alright, sweet girl, i know," she cooed as you continued to plead for her touch with your best pout and puppy eyes. unable to resist you, melissa hooked two fingers in the waistband of your panties. "i'm gonna slip these off ya, okay? there, down they go."

melissa discreetly tucked the saturated material into her pocket. not as a trophy or proof of her conquest; rather, a token from the first of many magical nights with her girl. she would treasure it.

she wasted no time getting situated between your legs so she was face-to-face with your pussy. she inhaled deeply, basking in the heady aroma of your arousal. you overwhelmed her senses. everything she saw, everything she smelled, everything she felt, everything she thought—it was all one big, bottomless pool of you. and there was only one sense left for you to conquer.

the first drag of her tongue up your slit set you ablaze, flames licking from your core all the way to your extremities and your head. she let out a small noise of appreciation, and you felt it more than you heard it.

"you taste like fuckin' heaven," melissa rumbled between determined licks through your folds. her comment reminded you of the pizza, and you found yourself amused at how much things had changed in just a few hours.

"last-meal-on-death-row good?" you joked, and melissa seized the moment of levity to latch onto your clit. you cried out before remembering jacob was sleeping in the next room. you clapped a hand over your mouth.

"mhmmmmm," she moaned in agreement, and the vibrations on your bundle felt incredible. "but if you're still crackin' jokes, i'm not doin' my job."

with that, she shut you up completely. her tongue poked at your clit between harsh sucks. your back arched and melissa changed her strategy, prodding at your entrance with her tongue while her fingers took over on your clit. when her tongue penetrated you, you bit down on your hand to keep from screaming.

"i said i wanna hear you, remember?" melissa pulled out to chastise you.

"but jacob—" you managed.

"is passed out. he's dead to the world. now sing for me, angel," melissa's tongue dove back into your weeping cunt and lapped at your walls. you wailed her name.

"oh, mel, right—ahhh—there!" you mewled as her tongue teased your most sensitive spot. now that she'd located her target, melissa changed her play once again. two fingers replaced her tongue and crooked into your g-spot while her mouth returned to your clit. "close..."

melissa nodded her permission, her mouth busy with your button. with another hard roll of your clit between her lips and drive of her fingers into your sweet spot, you fell apart. you moaned and cried unbidden as she worked you through your orgasm, which felt twice as powerful thanks to the intoxication factor. your body shook in the grip of seemingly endless waves of heat.

your climax eventually died down and you squirmed away from melissa's touch. your mouth opened in dismay when instead of staying by your side, she stood up and disappeared into her closet.

after a short while, the older woman reappeared by your side. she was now nude and sporting a long, girthy strap-on. she placed a few other items on the nightstand, but you couldn't tear your eyes away from the thick faux cock. unless it was to look at her gorgeous tits, which swung with her every move. she was a goddess.

"okay, sweets, i'm gonna spell this out nice and slow because i know your brain is a little messy right now," she said as she crawled on top of you. "i'm gonna fuck you with my strap. and i know it's so big, but i have this to help you take it."

melissa reached over to the nightstand and retrieved a green mini wand vibrator. her intentions were clear, and you gulped. the redhead peppered kisses all over your face in reassurance.

"now relax, little love. let me in," melissa instructed as the wand buzzed to life. she smeared your wetness around your clit with her fingers, then pulled back its hood to position the vibrator tightly against your nub. even the lowest setting was a shock at such a direct angle.

while you were distracted trying to adjust to the clitoral stimulation, melissa aligned the tip of the dildo with your entrance and pushed in. you both groaned, and you felt yourself stretch around the toy. melissa turned up the vibrations on your clit as she progressed to being fully seated inside you.

"that's a good girl, so brave," melissa cooed. you thrashed underneath her, the sensations overstimulating you. the pain of the intrusion staved off a powerful orgasm from the wand vibrator.

again, you wondered if the drugs were messing with your mind—the dildo felt indistinguishable from a part of mel's body, and you were full to the brim of her.

as she began to rock her hips back and forth, you saw her bite her lip. you assumed that the strap had some kind of clit attachment for her based on the telltale signs of pleasure.

melissa built up a steady rhythm and drank in your pathetic sounds of pleasure. her tits swung in your face with every thrust, and you made a mental note to give them proper attention next time. with another tactical increase to the wand's speed, you felt yourself approaching the edge once more.

"you gettin' close? yeah, i can tell. feels too good to hide it, huh bunny?" that was a new one. you clenched at her words and she set the wand to its maximum power, rubbing it up and down on your clit. your vision went white and you spun out of reality as you came. "that's my girl. good little princess, coming so hard for me."

with a few more thrusts, melissa also came to a release. she shuddered and shimmied her hips at random while she rode it out. as soon as she recovered, she turned off the green wand and relieved you. next, she eased herself out of and off of you.

with a chaste peck to your lips, she sat upright and reached for the nightstand. she smiled at your fucked-out expression as she laid out the pajamas she'd picked out for you.

you watched in awe as she took off the strap and put on her own sleep clothes. her red hair was wild from the night's activities and glowed like a warm hearth against the white backdrop of her walls.

in your state, you wanted nothing more than to cuddle up with melissa and fall asleep. but she insisted that you get ready for bed so that you'd be comfortable through the night. she guided you into the bathroom and gave you a new toothbrush to use.

returning to the bedroom, you found a silky green nightgown with flowers on it waiting on the bed for you. given your exhausted and intoxicated state, melissa had to help you into it. neither of you minded. as a reward for your cooperation, she gave you a kiss.

the two of you snuggled into bed, tucked in together with you curled up against her chest. the tides of slumber lapped at your feet.

"g'night, lovebug," melissa whispered as you drifted off. "sleep well. see you in the morning."

and tomorrow would be the first of a lifetime of tomorrows waking up in her arms.

#melissa schemmenti x reader #melissa schemmenti x y/n #melissa schemmenti x you #abbott elementary fanfic #melissa schemmenti smut #wlw smut #4/20 friendly #stoner fic #fanfic

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totothewolff · 4 months

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The Lonely Hearts Party

Toto x reader fem!merc!employee, boss|Toto, Valentine's Day | Fluff, romance, and comedy.

Summary: For weeks now, you have been receiving the most gorgeous flowers every Wednesday morning at your desk at the Brackley Headquarters, as a mysterious admirer seems so in love with you. The entire factory, your besties at work, and you all wonder who he is. Could it be the one you truly wish for? Author's note: Happy Valentine's Day to all of you! Send you lots of love. Masterlist: Here

The most beautiful flowers have been arriving at your desk every Wednesday morning for almost a month now. Every week, as you reach your office in the early hours, they are already in place to welcome you.

You love smelling them; they are always fresh and sweet-scented, and you love to look at them even more.

You feel a rush of excitement to read the handwritten note that always comes attached, filled with a different poem paragraph each time, something along the lines of "She walks in beauty, like the night, of cloudless climes and starry skies; and all that's best of dark and bright."

Every girl in your department finds it so romantic, the mysterious admirer, but you and your besties at work, Rose and Oliver, who work in the same station that you, joke about finding it a bit creepy.

"The Creepy Flower Guy" is a nickname you came up with to refer to him as an inside joke, being the three of you true crime enthusiasts.

—Maybe it's one of those garden gnomes HR placed outside —Oliver jokes as he finishes eating his scrambled eggs after you told them about the new Lilacs you received that morning at the breakfast quick break. —Perhaps he fell in love with you by watching you walk past —he jokes.

The hilarious idea of a tiny plastic guy sneaking into the headquarters, wearing his little red hat and fast feet to get incognito to your office, and on his tiptoes, placing the flowers on your desk makes you giggle.

You have to give it to HR this time; those gnomes were a great addition to the garden's pond; every time you sit on the benches near it, you enjoy the new scene the mechanics or engineers put together every few days, having fun moving the gnomes around or placing them in the funniest scenes, even someone during winter knitted them Christmas sweaters.

—Or maybe one day we'll find you dead on the floor, poisoned in your desk after inhaling azaleas for too long —Rose adds with the most casual tone as she bites her sandwich.

—Or you go missing! Kidnapped at the parking lot by "The Creep" —Oliver adds.

—GUYS! —Ava turns around after overhearing the conversation; she is sitting at the same long table in the cafeteria, not getting your usual dark humor, a bit concerned, and creeped out. —You three need to cool it down with those goddamn crime podcasts!

—NEVER! —all of you answer at the same time.

—You freaks!

As you all finish breakfast, in a rush because the "off-season" is always the busiest time at the factory, you ask out loud. —Who do you think it is?

—It's evident! It's... —Grace from the control room team starts saying.

—Lewis Hamilton! —and she finishes along with the other five people on the table now.

Oh, the classic joke.

The entire table burst into laughter. It's a common joke to do about Lewis since almost every family member or friend thinks that working in the Mercedes racing team instantly makes you Lewis's best friend and that you always hang out with the guy, which couldn't be further away from reality.

Most of you only see him in corporate gatherings or pass by from building to building, usually on his way to the simulator or in the hallways on a lucky day.

He is always sweet and polite with the team and staff but quite distant; he still is Lewis fucking Hamilton. Unless you are part of his immediate team or Toto's, you get that privilege reserved for the key players only.

Even so, almost everyone has a Lewis or Bottas story, and ALL of you have Niki's anecdotes cause that man is bonkers and a LEGEND.

Most of them go hilarious as all of you try to act human around them, like the one Oliver has where he bumped into Lewis one day as Oliver was getting out of the bathroom and Lewis was on his way in, offering him a completely wet hand to introduce himself, which Hamilton noticed and sweetly and quickly patted Oliver on the shoulder with a "nice meeting you, man" and quickly got in.

—REAL theories only, guys! —you address the table. —Is my life a joke to you all? —you mess around, getting on your feet and closing the lid of your topper. —Please don't answer that.

Another week goes by, and a new stunning bouquet arrives.

—Oh, how exquisite! That man is so into you. Those blue mophead hydrangeas sure are expensive! —the receptionist points out to you because you are a total flower ignorant who only goes: "Oh, pretty, colorful, smell cute" without giving it much thought.

Most of the time, you have no idea what you are looking at, but you have fun googling it and trying to decipher; in your defense, no one has pampered you like this before.

You are brand new at the getting flowers game.

The following week, a couple of bets start happening at the building as the word spreads, and many wonder who the mysterious guy is.

Some think it's not a guy but a girl, as one day after a meeting, as you all are leaving, one of the engineers approaches you and makes the clever remark that the attention to detail about the type of flowers, the color palettes, and the scented notes is too much for a simple guy. —Either he is getting advised, or it's not a guy! Maybe you could obtain a reference from the company that delivers it.

This entire thing feels surreal and truly takes you by surprise since you have always considered yourself the most average girl, especially in looks and more so in the sea of beautiful blondes working at Mercedes.

Which, for some weird reason, reminded you of when you dropped your resume after one of your buddies from college - who still works there at the machine shop - gave you the heads up there was a job opening that suited you perfectly; he even had to insist you a couple of times, because you were almost sure they wouldn't give you a callback.

To your eyes, Mercedes was one of those companies that cared about looks or looked for a specific ethnic type; it turns out you judged too soon; they care about skills, productivity, and professionalism, too, and it ended up being a bit more diverse than you expected the place to be.

It still has many areas for improvement, but it's become your favorite job ever.

By the end of the day, you wait for Rose to come out of her meeting to leave together, standing in the perfectly lit hallway leaning on the impeccable white wall; it's "Cheap Thursday" at your favorite local pub, and you two desperately need fuel to finish the heavy week, so nachos and a couple of pints sound like heaven.

After what feels like an eternity, a group of people comes out of the double doors by the end of the corridor facing you, and you catch a glimpse of a very hurried-up Toto getting out, too, looking handsome and elegant as ever.

You feel his dark eyes looking you up for the briefest moment, making you shiver and blush like a teenager in front of her crush.

Thank god he doesn't stop his pace and gets out of your view within seconds but leaves you distracted enough not to notice Rose approaching you till she is by your side, looking almost pale as a ghost, whispering in your ear.

—I swear it's Toto's handwriting! I just saw him writing on the board for over an hour, and his calligraphy looks exactly like the one of "Creepy Flower Guy"!

—Come on?! Toto? Shut up! —a crackle comes out of your mouth, thinking it's the most ridiculous idea. —The billionaire smocking-hot boss falls in love with the average employee; what do you think this is? An 80s telenovela? Fuck off...

—Well, his handwriting is the same cursive style, and the "r" and "t" are almost identical —Rose starts to overexplain, trying to justify herself, looking timid and embarrassed now, and you instantly feel awful at your reaction.

—I'm so sorry, Rose, I overreacted; I tend to be too blunt! —you quickly wrap her into a hug.

—It's just that I have been seeing that calligraphy for a while now, and I found it freaky similar.

—Now, how can we make sure, Rose? Any ideas?

She shakes her head. —I'm not friends with his assistants or anyone on Toto's team.

—No one is friends with his assistants. I wouldn't be surprised if they turn out to be ex-MI5 agents or worked for the KGB —Rose starts to laugh hard, agreeing. —I think getting to the Prime Minister is easier than reaching Toto under their hands!

—You are screwed then.

—Let's rule Toto out for the moment —you add.

—Yeah.

That night at your flat, a crazy thought comes to your mind as you brush your teeth; the wackiest thoughts tend to happen to you when you brush your teeth; you need to make yourself with a piece of paper handwritten by Toto to compare it with one of your notes.

You know Toto places sticky notes on the far wall inside his office; you have noticed those on your many and regular trips to the CFO's office as your boss always sends you to deliver the reports in person by the end of every week, always passing in front of Toto's office on you way there, which most of the time it's empty since he spends the year traveling, but you try to do your best when he is in, slowing your steps a little bit more to enjoy the view and fixing your appearance a little bit too before crossing in front of him.

Still, his assistants are always at their front desk near there, making it impossible to sneak in.

If only you could make it inside Toto's office without raising questions and with a good excuse. You laugh at the idea; it's wild and ain't going to happen, and if it does, your ass is getting fired.

As the Mission Impossible cord from the ceiling scene comes to your mind, it's time for you to go to sleep.

As you anxiously roll from side to side of the bed, struggling to shut your brain off, you remember that Niki's surprise birthday celebration is scheduled in two weeks; you could volunteer to help organize the event and usher the people around, including Toto.

There is the slightest chance to make it to his office and take a quick photo of the sticky notes on the wall; it's borderline mental, but you really want to find out because Rose sounded so sure!

This is fucking insane.

Two weeks, two new bouquets later.

When you finally reach the upper floor, where the "top-tier people work," almost everyone has left to get to the party on time.

Being on time in Mercedes is a must, so there are few people you need to usher there.

You got accepted to join the Niki's celebration committee as a helper minion. Weirdly, it will be hosted in the base race of all places instead of the Silver Arrow Lounge, where most celebrations are usually held.

The decor is ready, the cake is at the counter, and the many photo props and snacks inspired by Niki's red cap are in place; even the catering and most of the people invited have arrived.

But Allison and Toto are nowhere to be seen, and the head of HR is on her nerves about it, thinking it could ruin the surprise or that two of the most influential people there are going to miss such an important event.

As you approach the bosses' offices area, you quickly search in the surroundings for them; it helps you that all offices have glass panel walls.

You venture to wander more, but nada, they are not there, and at this point, no one is there. As you return to the stairs, you pass in front of Toto's office once more.

You just need to snap a quick picture. What could go wrong? No one is near to see you, and there are no cameras around since Toto dislikes that.

"Okay, Y/N, listen, it's just a couple of steps; you have your phone in your hand; it won't take more than a few seconds..."

You feel your body acting on its own and your feet slowly moving ahead.

You gradually enter the luxurious and immaculate office.

"Okay, like four steps more, and I'm close enough to zoom in the picture."

When you almost reach his desk and the perfect distance to snap the photo, you sense movement outside, fuck, fuck, fuck. You feel someone standing behind you, right at the door.

Busted!

—Yes? Can I help you? —Toto's voice comes severe but calm.

You feel your heart in your throat as you slowly turn around.

—Yes, you can! —you quickly reply, pretending to be looking at the cool helmets and steering wheels at the corner. Is it the best move your mind could come up with? Certainly not —...Sir... —you kind of finish saying, remembering he is the boss.

Toto stares at you, waiting for you to continue as you stand motionless in the middle of the room, looking straight at him. His eyebrows go up a little, and a tiny, amused smile forms on his lips as he moves his hand, gesturing you to continue.

—They are all waiting for you at the race base, sir... to start Niki's surprise reception. He is about to arrive.

—And they sent you to get me?

—Yes —you feel the need to explain yourself more, feeling nervous. —Niki has no idea who I am, so I'm not blowing the surprise away if I bump into him on my way here!

—Interesting... —he lets out gradually.

Oh god, Toto has no clue who I am either, right?

Fuck, I'm such an idiot!

—Oh, I, I'm Y/N —your brain starts working again as you quickly introduce yourself to him, offering him a hand to shake.

He looks even more perplexed at you but grabs it; it's awkward, and you want to crawl into a hole or hide beneath the expensive rug you are stepping on.

—We should get going; I have places to go, and I'm on a schedule today.

—Oh yes, of course, sir —you quickly exit his office as he closes its glass door behind you. Well, you literally pass below his muscular arm.

Toto doesn't move much, so you squeeze in, almost brushing his body as you out, and he simultaneously closes the door, fuck, he is tall and smells so so so good.

It's a quiet walk downstairs; just the sound of your steps and breaths fills the room. You feel intimidated by Toto's presence, not used to having him that near you and being a shy-natured girl.

He seems to slow down his step, prolonging your agony.

Should I say something? But what about? Work? Something casual? You assume he wonders the same since you feel his eyes on you every few steps, but he dares to break the ice before you can.

—So y..

—I'm To... Oh, sorry, go ahead —he says at the same time.

—Oh, no worries —you nervously place a strand of your hair behind your ear. He follows the movement of your hand with his eyes. —What were you saying? —you look straight at him, Jesus; he is way cuter up close; that's some strong jawline, you can't control your eyes going all over his features.

—That I didn't introduce myself upstairs. I'm Toto, by the way —he offers you a kind and unintentionally sexy smile.

You notice, a bit way too much, how all his traits soften and how relaxed and joyful he looks when he smiles.

It turns out that "The Creepy Employee Girl" should be your nickname now.

After perceiving him as less threatening, you joke around to make the air less awkward. —Really? I had no idea! I thought you were that Lewis guy everyone talks about! But nice to meet you Toto By The Way —you fool around.

He laughs a bit. —You never heard of me before? I guess I'm losing popularity around here nowadays!

—You must hang around more to be part of the "popular squad".

—Who holds the title right now?

—The gnomes.

—Oh, yes, they are quite popular.

—A bit too much, yeah.

As you two reach the entrance to the race base, he rushes his step to hold open the door for you, letting you go first; you feel his intense gaze follow you every step as you pass right across from him, making you feel things he shouldn't.

Everyone who got invited is already there; the usually squeaky-clean and clear white counters now hold cups, party hats, bottles of champagne and sparkling water, delicacies, and a big red cap-shaped cake.

—Great! The boss is here! Please, bring Niki in —you hear the HR director speak through the intercom as she looks your way, sounding so relieved, and a minute later, all of you start cheering as Niki enters the room.

You expect Toto to instantly leave your side and go near the big names of the company and his precious stylish drivers, but no, he stays right next to you.

As Niki almost reaches you two, getting hugs all his way down, he comes closer to Toto first and says in a low voice, but you are still able to hear him. —Is the cake vegan?! —looking concerned before tightly and roughly hugging him, knowing they would call him to blow out the candles and bite the cake soon.

—No, sir, this time they brought Lewis his own cake —you inform him, getting in the conversation, as the two of them turn to look at you.

—Oh, thank god! I almost spit out last year's "fake" cake! Hi Y/N! I didn't notice you there! This mountain was on the way —he pats Toto's chest a bit too strongly. Niki makes a funny face, eyebrows going up, not sugarcoating around as usual but earnest and light-spirited.

You laugh, exhaling cute sounds; even you have to admit you have a lovely, infectious laugh.

—Hi sir, happy birthday!

How on earth does Niki know my name?! He knows who I am?! WHAT...

—...the fuck were you thinking?! —Oliver looks shocked and pale as you update him and Rose about your little adventure today. —You honestly thought it could be Toto?!

—Can a girl have a dream?! —you shrug as you keep typing violently on your computer, wanting to finish that notice as soon as possible to move on to the next task, starting to feel stressed.

—You could have got into serious trouble, like big trouble, like getting fired trouble —Rose says, dead serious. —I feel terrible for enabling you!

—I know it was reckless and stupid, really stupid! —you admit, feeling dumb now about your actions.

God knows what got into you!

The next day, on your way to the cafeteria for lunch, you sense something is going on; everyone is acting weird.

Until you enter the room to find Toto having his meal in there, alone at a table, aware of the looks he is getting.

What is he doing here? He usually goes out for lunch or eats inside his office.

The fuck.

He waves a hand at you; you look around to see if he is addressing someone else till he arches an eyebrow, slightly annoyed, so you hurry up to reach him.

—Well, you weren't wrong! By all the looks I received on my way here, and fairly now, it appears I don't hang around much —he invites you to sit, stretching his arm, pointing to the chair in front of his, before continuing. —It wasn't unusual to see me everywhere before; of course, it was the early days, and we were a smaller team back then —he almost looked sad and nostalgic about it.

—Look at you, man of the people!

—Eat your salad —he rolls his eyes at you as you get your lunch out.

—Is that like a boss order, or?

—Maybe, if I'm feeling moody.

—So, I guess most of the old guard is gone?

—Are you low-hand calling me old?

—Well, how ancient are you?

—I'm almost 70 —he makes you smile and looks all pleased with himself and his dumb humor. —I know, I look good for 70!

—Who would have thought you had a sense of humor? You always look severe and bossy.

—Can you stop low-key insulting me?

—Neva'

After two weeks of having lunch with Toto and getting to know each other more every day, you two become friends; some days, a different person joins you; at some point, you can't believe you are sharing quinoa recipes with Lewis and comparing drinking pub stories with Niki.

—Is it me, or have you abandoned us, the peasants? —Oliver says to you when you return to the office.

—Oh, come on! You can join, you know that! He knows who you two are; we talk about you guys a lot, and he greets you daily!

—Now that you are part of the "big farts" table, hanging with the famous, why would you care about two random coworkers? —Rose overdramatizes.

—OH COME ON!

—Apparently, you don't care about the old and wise saying "Bros before hoes," —Oliver adds.

—Of course, I care about you two hoes. Please join us tomorrow. PLEASE?! —you beg them with the biggest smile and puppy eyes ever seen.

—Eating with the boss and talking to him? I'm not risking it! —Oliver says, dead honest, not trusting himself.

—He is trying to reconnect with the team; he isn't going to judge you! Besides, Toto knows you are my besties.

Two long "aw" come your way.

—That's so cute, but NO! —Rose ends the conversation.

As you admire the new bouquet of tulips you get delivered the next day, your phone suddenly buzzes on your desk, distracting you from finishing updating the chart with the latest data.

—Lunchtime already? 😩🥙

—Who this? 👀

—Luke, I'm your father.

—He dead 🙏🌫️

—Oh, shit, sorry! Bad joke!

—💀💀💀

—There's no need to be that explicit.

—It means dying of laughter!

—Oh, shit, I'm old, it's Toto By The Way.

—I'm saving you with that name! How did you get my number?

—By boss privilege.

—YES! LET'S LUNCH PLEASE! I'm Hungarian.

—What?

—Typo sorry, hungry!

—HA! See you in five! 🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️

—Could going to lunch with someone at the cafeteria be considered a date? —you turn around in your office chair to address Oliver.

—Dreaming is free, bestie!

On your way to meet Toto, you bump into the most annoying senior engineer, Mr. Schäfer, in the corridor.

OH GOD! Please don't talk to me, please don't talk to me, you think as you two cross paths, but sadly, you notice him stop his step after making eye contact with you.

—Miss, Y/LN. A minute?

SHIT!

—Sorry I'm late! "Gwen Stefani" got me on my way here!

—Who? —Toto looks at you, amused and confused.

Shit! You burped out.

—Ahem, Mr. Schäfer —you quickly correct, taking your water bottle out of your bag and drinking it after rushing there. Toto stares at the couple of drops that escape your lips and slide down your chin and neck, and he swallows hard.

—What did you call him? —Toto asks, clearing his throat.

—Oh, don't mind me!

—Yes, mind you! It's a pretty accurate nickname, I must admit it, even if I shouldn't, but it fits —Toto shrugs nonchalantly, with a chuckle on his face.

Schäfer is really pretty, lean, blond, pale, has big bambi's brown eyes, and his voice is so annoying.

And now you feel embarrassed.

After a few minutes of comfortable silence, as you two eat, Toto says: —Do I have a nickname?

—Oh, no, no one dares.

—Why? Do people fear me? —his expression changes to one of concern. —Maybe that would explain why people always seem to slow down their pace in the main corridor as soon as they see me inside the elevator. I always try to press the hold button to wait for them.

—This leaves me with a question: How do you fit in there? Your hair sure is touching the ceiling —he looks at you with an "Are you kidding me?" face. —No, for real!

—Don't avoid the actual question!

—Okay, okay, it's more like you intimidate. You look a bit, ahem, stern.

—Really? So, that was your first impression of me?

—Well, not really —you feel your cheeks turning red, fuck. —The first time I saw you, IRL.

—Sorry?

—In real life! You were being interviewed at the reception on that pearl/grey, awful porn movie-esque rug, which is inappropriate to say because the interviewer was a kid; anyway, It was something adorable to see. So that was my first impression of you, sweet and kind —his eyes soften at your answer, and you feel your knees touching beneath the table. —And also well lit —you joke.

As you do your best at not being honest and admitting to Toto, you fell in love with him the first time you saw him. It was instant.

—Oh.

Another week goes by, February starts, and the most stunning bouquet to this moment arrives. Okay, this one is a lot.

—Good lord, "Creepy Flower Guy" went full force with this one; what did you do to him?! —Rose asks, jaw on the floor as she stares at that humongous thing.

—I have no fucking clue.

—You think he is about to reveal himself? —Oliver points out. —Maybe this is a "going out with a BANG!".

—Honestly, I don't care much about it anymore —you admit. You feel several heads turning your way, shocked.

"It's not who I would like it to be," you think. You don't need to say more to know that Oliver and Rose get it.

That working day was cut short since it was the Monster-sponsored "Spartan Race," a cross-fit competition.

Many coworkers listed at the contest held outside on the garden grounds where a fancy circuit got built, but not you. You volunteered to help deliver the medals to the participants at the finish line.

In the meantime, you take a good spot with Oliver to watch the competition unfold and cheer for Rose.

—You go, Rambo! —you scream at her as she completes another obstacle course.

You watch Toto pass in those goddamn shorts, looking so hot, all sweaty. Toto's shirt's tight fabric on the skin leaves little to the imagination.

You meet him at the finish line an hour later, as you are now doing your duty. As soon as he notices you, he starts to jog in your direction with the most mischievous smile.

—Oh no, no, no! Don't you even...! —you receive the biggest and tightest hug from a sweaty, wet, and full of dirt and mud Toto.

—OH GOD! Get off! —you pull him away, making yucky faces.

—I was hoping to bump into you at the circuit! —he tells you, still with a lot of energy, as you place his gold medal on his neck, he is bending to your height.

—I'm not that sporty; you would have to drag me to the finish line.

—I would have gladly carried you around in these powerful arms! —he jokes while flexing.

You roll your eyes at him.

The next day, at your desk.

As you blast the newest episode of your favorite crime podcast, Rose and Oliver start making eye contact with you, trying to grab your attention, moving their eyes several times to the left as you take out your AirPods.

—WHAT?!

—Sure, those things cancel noise! I have spent about an hour trying to talk to you!

Oh shit, you jump a little at the sound of Toto's voice near your ear.

—Were you listening to a murder podcast? At work?! You are going to hurt your ears; I was able to hear it from here —Toto is leaning on the left side of your desk.

—Maybe... I was... —you look at him with squinted eyes, and he looks back at you the same way.

—What is that thing?! —Toto says, a bit disgusted at the exuberance, pointing to the enormous bouquet beside your computer.

—It's a long story —you try to avoid the subject.

—I want to hear it when I return. I will not join you at lunch today or the rest of the week.

—Bummer, where are you going then? —you turn in your chair to face him.

Everyone looks at you with a "Did you really ask the boss that?" face.

—Austria, It's my mom's birthday.

—Aw, sweet, wish her a happy birthday for me!

—I will —you look at each other tenderly, both wanting to say more. You suddenly feel the desperate need to hug Toto, but a simple: —See you next week, then! —comes out of your mouth, ending the interaction.

It's almost Valentine's Day, and Toto has returned from his little adventure in the mountains; he laughs when you text him that. You two talked even more than usual every day during his absence.

So you text him if you could go up to his office.

—Knock, knock —you say as you pop your head in at his door.

He brightens as he sees you, fully smiling at you, making your stomach feel butterflies.

—Please, come in!

You approach his desk, holding something in your hands; it's an envelope with an invitation in the old-fashioned way. —Hi! —you smile big at him. —I have the obligation to invite you to the traditional "Lonely Hearts Party" on Valentine's Day!

—No one wants the boss at an outside-the-office party —he looks at you a bit taken out.

—Yeah, I know, we know. But still, you are invited. It's for singles only, assuming that you are single, which no one thinks you are, so here —you feel Toto's hand touching yours as you deliver him the envelope, leaving you with a lingering sensation on your fingers, a very Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy moment in your delulu mind.

—I'm going to be in Brazil, but thank you anyway, and yes, I'm single —he pays attention to your reaction to his words, and you pray for him not to notice the little happy smile forming on your lips. —Are you... are you like... seeing someone? —he asks you.

—I'm going to attend the Lonely Hearts Party, you think?! Listen, my neighbor, Miss Tailor, is 80 and has a boyfriend; even that old rag has seen more action than me this year!

Toto's palm goes onto his face, bursting with laughter; he is laughing so hard at your comment that no sound comes out of his throat, just hallows of air, and he goes all red, not believing your words. —You are quite something! —He lets you know and looks at you with adoration, his face resting on his hand and his elbow on the desk.

—I know —you nod, kidding. —Anyway, have a nice day, and see you later!

During that day's lunch break, Toto demands you to explain to him in detail all about that "Creepy Flower Guy," he even ventures to guess who he is after listening to the whole story.

—Milo, Ben, and Ansel all have stared you down when you walk past in front of them, with lust obviously, and I heard Finn once complimenting your good looks to say it nicely —he informs you.

Is that jealousy you detect?

Toto does pay attention.

It's Wednesday, and your car is out in maintenance, so you make it extra early on that day at the office; you wanted to avoid risking it being late since you aren't used to using public transport to get there.

You make it just in time to witness Mike walking away from your desk inside your desert office through the glass panel wall from afar. As you walk to your chair, you notice new flowers are already in place. You feel your heartbeat going full speed and a wave of disappointment washing you over; what were you expecting, for it to really be Toto?

That entire day, you remain all moody and quiet, and your friends notice it, but you say nothing about it.

You even ask your boss to leave early, being unable to handle being near Toto today, which leaves him worried, judging by the four texts and two missed phone calls you received from him, wondering where you are and if everything is okay.

Four days later, you are like nothing has happened. As you walk your way to enter the building where you work, you notice Toto sitting alone in the distance, having a call; you slowly start to walk toward him, switching paths.

He finally has returned from his trip to Stuggart.

—Well, the "Creepy Flower Guy" saga has come to an end, my friend; I found out who he is —you inform him, unenthusiastic, as you sit on the bench in the pond's garden right next to him.

—You don't seem so excited —Toto's eyes look slightly concerned as he tells you.

—Well, no, to be honest.

—Drumrolls —Toto says, trying to lift your spirits, slapping his thighs, making the sound. —And the creep is?!

—Mike, from financial.

—Magic Mike?! —Toto lets out a bit too loud.

—Yep!

—Are you sure? Like 100%? But how?!

You nod. —I saw Mike near my desk in the early hours a couple of days ago, and the flowers were there as he was walking away from the crime scene! Also, by the drawer full of flower receipts at his office desk. They all match the types of bouquets I received and have the exact dates.

—Are you creeping around in people's offices again?

—WAIT A MINUTE! I wasn't creeping into your office!

—Oh no? What were you doing near my desk? Looking for Niki's cake?

—Shut up! I was looking for you.

—Yes, I love to hide myself in there —Toto playfully and softly pushes you.

—And NO! I wasn't creeping around in Mike's office; Anita sent me to get the notice she needed, and I went there; it turns out Mike was on holiday, but he left the instruction to collect it from the drawer on his desk, and then I opened the wrong drawer and BAMB! It was full of receipts and bills from the flower company that delivered my flowers. Not to be nosy, but Magic Mike is doing pretty well; I had no idea how expensive they were!

—Wait! But you aren't telling me! Are you into Magic Mike? Do you fancy him?

—No, not him, anyway.

Toto stares intensely at you and wants to say more. If you weren't so in the zone, you would have noticed it and given him a chance, but no, you continue blurting out words.

—But I will go and thank him, I guess. I don't want to hurt him; he is lovely. Everyone told me to go out on a date with him. I don't feel like it right now, but it's not always love at first sight, right? Maybe that doesn't even exist; I was expecting to fall in love, you know, movie style, but that may not be real, or at least not for girls like me. Besides, Valentine's Day is approaching, and I don't feel like spending it alone again —you let out a sigh after talking forever.

—Weren't you going to that Lonely Hearts Party? It sounds fun. It's better than going on a date with someone you don't like just to feel better —Toto tells you a bit moody.

—Oh god, I love you; you are always right; you are so annoying —you add while hugging and kissing him on the cheek. —Is there any chance I can fit in your suitcase for Brazil? I wouldn't mind spending Valentine's Day with a hot Brazilian or at the beach.

Toto laughs while shaking his head.

—I have to go! —you complain, checking the hour on your smartwatch. —Unfortunately, I have work to pretend to do!

—Sometimes I feel you forget I'm the boss here —he jokes with you as he crosses his arms and watches you walk backward, still facing him, getting further away.

—YES SIR!

It's the Wednesday before Valentine's Day, and to everyone's surprise, the flowers stop arriving.

"Did Toto tell Mike I don't like him and to stop sending me flowers?" You take out your phone to text him.

—Apparently, even "Creepy Flower Guy" gave up on me.

—Really?! —Toto replies.

—Yes. No flowers today.

He gives you no further information, no replying text comes your way.

It's Valentine's Day, and you are wearing a shiny red mini dress with matching bow heels to the Lonely Hearts Party.

You took your time doing your makeup, which you feel you nailed, and your hair looks sleek.

As you check yourself in the mirror, you feel confident and hot!

After several drinks and enjoying the music and the vibe, you relish the party, but your mind keeps wandering to the anticlimactic ending of the flower guy mystery.

The only crime and murder here was the one of your feelings and heart.

Two hours later, you start to feel bummed out enough after witnessing many hookups and new couples forming, slightly envious of them and feeling lonelier than ever, aching that Toto was here with you instead of Brazil. You decide you've had enough and are about to leave when you feel a soft finger tap on your right shoulder. You turn around to see who it is.

Definitely, you aren't ready for the scene that greets you.

Toto is standing right before you, holding a bouquet in his hands, looking extremely handsome, with a shy smile on his lips.

—What are you doing here?! —you look astonished at him. Am I that drunk?! Thinking you are seeing things now.

—I felt like delivering them to you in person from now on —he offers you the roses.

Your brain takes its time to process his words and what's happening. This is really happening.

—You are? —you try to say and instinctively grab the bouquet.

—The Creepy Flower Guy, yes.

You laugh at the sound of the nickname on his lips.

—Let's call him "flower guy" from now on.

—Yeah, let's call him Toto better, or my love, if you prefer. I hope you aren't as disappointed this time.

—But Mike? —you ask, confused.

—Have you ever heard of the terms invoice and tax returns? He does my accounting, too. Mike helped me deliver the flowers till I felt ready to show myself. He is a long friend of mine.

—That's why he had all the receipts; that makes sense. Wait!

You close the distance between Toto and you and place a kiss on his lips; getting on your tiptoes, he slowly and hungrily starts kissing you more, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you closer, not letting you move an inch away from him.

—Thank you for the flowers, my love but weren't you supposed to be in Brazil by now? —you ask him as you both catch your breaths.

His lips are so soft and warm.

—Oh, I'm going to be in Brazil soon, but I forgot to mention to you that you would also be there. Happy Valentine's Day, my love! —he gives you another long and delicious kiss.

—Shouldn't I have packed? —you ask against his lips, already overthinking.

Toto shakes his head.

—We aren't going to need much clothes, anyway. -

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muchosbesitos · 4 months

Text

not my car!

pairing: miguel o’hara x fem reader

contents: reader gets angry with spider-man, male masturbation

author’s note: i wasn’t planning on making a valentine’s day post (just because i’m a big hater LOL) but i decided to mix these two together, hope y’all enjoy <3

word count: 4.7k

Valentine's Day.

What was supposed to be a day dedicated towards expressing your love towards your friends and others was a day that you'd be stuck at work. Not the holiday had really made a difference towards you, all of it just seeming like a capitalistic ploy to get people to spend more money just to prove who loves each other the most. Or at least that's what you told yourself at the lack of a Valentine once more this year. While it wasn't out the norm for you to spend it alone, you couldn't help but feel disappointed at the reminder of another year without achieving that relationship status.

But despite the fact that you weren't technically anyone's Valentine, you'd still managed to get a date for tonight. You'd joined a dating app in hopes to find a date before tonight months ago, without actually having much luck until a couple days ago. All the men that you'd swiped on were either interested in something completely different from what you were looking for or they were just complete assholes. You'd been talking to a moderately good looking guy with biceps that looked like they could choke you for a while, the two of you making plans to go out tonight before he got caught up in work again. Despite the fact that he was more sarcastic with his sense of humor, you couldn't help but enjoy every joke exchanged and every conversation you two held.

You'd gotten so caught up in the thought of how the date would go tonight, already planning out what outfit you'd be wearing and what type of makeup you'd like to try that you hadn't realized you were starting to run late for work. You quickly finished with getting dressed, making sure to button up your shirt correctly before making your way out of your apartment. "Buenos dias, mija," your elderly neighbor called out, sweeping the floor outside. (good morning) "Buenos dias, señora," you responded back, giving her a small wave once you finished locking up your door. While you usually made it a point to try and have conversation with her, you were already in a rush to get to work on time.

"Come on, baby. Don't fail me now," you pleaded with your car, turning the key on the ignition only to receive a mocking sputter in n response. You took the key out, counting in your head up to three seconds before sticking it back in. You'd gotten used to these little kinks and tricks in the car, learning to adapt quickly to its ways to save yourself some money. Whether it be smacking the dashboard to get it to turn on or simply taking the key out, you were determined on riding the car until it's last minute. You assured yourself that your car was still fine despite the noises that it made while it was driving, almost like every piece of metal inside of it was loose.

And while the car wasn't much, it was one of the few things that you'd be able to claim that belonged to you after you finished paying it off. Your wage had made it difficult to manage living alone with an apartment but it was achievable if you cut back on the amount of expenses that you had. You were simply surviving up at this point, making sure that you weren't spending more than the basic necessities to stay alive so you'd have enough money to be just above the debt line. But while everything else in your life was rented, the car was the one thing that you could be able to claim as your own. Well, after you finished paying it off at the end at the year.

You let out a small groan as you saw that someone else had taken your undesignated designated parking spot. While the parking spots didn't belong to anyone particularly, everyone seemed to have a silent understanding not to infringe on other's spots. You looked around to see if a spot was available before reluctantly pulling out of the workers' parking lot, deciding to just park it out on the street for the day. You opted to park in the back so you wouldn't have to walk the distance, unable to go in through the front door. You went through the motions of clocking in, washing your hands and sanitizing them before making your way over to the counter.

"What can I get for you?" Your voice came out tired as you spoke, the only thought on your mind being what time you would get out of work. "Some service with a smile would be nice," the person retorted, your eyes almost rolling to the back of your head. You definitely didn't get paid enough for this shit. You repeated the same question back to them, forcing an unnatural smile to make its way to your face as you waited for their response. "I'll just get a small diet coke," they finally responded, inserting their card into the chip reader. You had half the mind to throw the empty cup at their head for making a big deal out of your customer service for what they'd ordered.

You resisted the urge to test out how good your aim was, opting instead to keep your job for a bit longer. You slid over the cup once you were done filling it up, going back to the register to take any other orders. It was slow, only a couple stragglers making their way inside to get a light breakfast before their shift at work. While Nueva York was known as one of the more dangerous cities to live in with all the villains crawling on the streets, the area of the city that you lived in was moderately calm. Only a few robberies here and there, one or two gang-related homicides. To say that you were used to these slow mornings was an understatement, getting used to seeing tourists' disappointment when this part of the city doesn't meet their level of excitement.

You headed out for a break outside of the restaurant, unable to stand the smell of grease lingering onto the kitchen. You weren't able to escape the smell much though, the stench clinging onto your clothes like it wanted to remind you of your place. You let out a small groan upon catching another whiff, taking your phone out to check the forecast and a couple of the news just to see if you'd be able to go on your date tonight. It was then when you saw a reporter broadcasting from the building across the restaurant, a man on a hover board playing with a couple bombs like he was juggling at the circus. You felt the impact before you saw it on your screen, the screams making themselves known in the chaos.

You headed over to where the news reporter had been standing just a couple seconds ago, a small crowd already gathered around to get a glimpse of the Green Goblin. The way they spectated around it made it seem like they were expecting for a celebrity to show up, the crowd bursting out into cheers after Spider-Man's red webs came into view. "Get him Spidey!" You heard in the background, the people breaking out into cheers of his name while he made his way over to the Green Goblin. You weren't sure how it was that these people managed to like him one day and dislike him the next, choosing instead to stay quiet and just watch the event unfold.

You looked over at Spider-Man as he dropped down to the floor, a brutal punch from the Goblin sending him rolling on the floor. He seemed to be looking around at the cars parked outside, almost like he was picking one out of a magazine offer to throw at him. 'Not my car, not my car,' was the only thought running through your head like a mantra, watching as Spider-Man approached the vehicles to take his pick for the Green Goblin. You knew that it was selfish, but you figured that the BMW parked next to your car could definitely afford to get it fixed if they were driving that around in these areas of Nueva York.

You let out a small whine as you saw him pick up your car with ease, swinging up to get some leverage on the villain before throwing it full speed ahead at him. All you could do was stare as your car flew in mid air, the people in the crowd only seeming to cheer even louder at how chaotic the fight was starting to become. The ringing in your ears got louder, every part of it blocking out except for the fact that you'd soon be without a car once it made its way back to the ground. The Green Goblin managed to get out of the way before your car hit him, the vehicle hitting the window of the building before slowly starting to make its descent. The shocking asshole didn't even make the shot.

"Can't help but feel bad for the poor loser that owns that car," you heard behind you, a couple of the people standing around making commentary like it was the hottest sports event they'd been to. "Think he's doing them a favor, can you imagine driving a piece of junk like that?" You heard another retort, your annoyance towards the situation growing even further. You glared over at the two of them, though the expression was ignored since their attention was solely locked on the maniac hovering amock on top of the building. You knew that it should be him that your anger is directed towards, but you couldn't help but be angry at Spider-Man for using your car without a care in the world. The way that he handled your property knowing that he couldn't get prosecuted for it just served to anger you even further.

For shock's sake. All you could do is stand there with your mouth agape as your car crashed down to the concrete, a wheel rolling off to the side. You weren't sure if you wanted to burst out into tears or if you wanted to start yelling at the mask-wearing asshole for not even making the shot. You looked over at your car, trying to convince yourself that the damage wasn't that bad. Well.. it might take a couple weeks of overtime but you were sure you could handle it. That was until a large piece of rubble from the building fell onto your car. You were dumbfounded, all you could do was simply blink as your car got crushed into mere metal. And if all the hope that was inside of you hadn't diminished yet, the engine burst out into flames a couple seconds afterwards.

Now you could definitely understand all the slander that J. Jonah Jameson had written about him. Shock, you were thinking of joining the Daily Bugle just to write your own article about him. The fact that your car was basically useless at this point and that you'd still have to continue paying for it kept ringing through your mind, every single outside noise making itself unknown as you looked at the pieces of metal sticking out from underneath the rubble. You were even thinking of getting an oil change soon. Well, not soon. But as soon as you managed to get a bit of disposable money. All the modifications that you'd planned for your car seemed pointless now, the one thing that you would be able to have in your name now destroyed.

The crowd burst out into cheers while you were still in the middle of seething to yourself, your mind calling Spider-Man a flurry of curses as you wrapped your mind around the fact that your car was destroyed. It didn't help that Spider-Man seemed so proud of getting back at the Goblin, stopping by the crowd and taking some pictures. The people immediately rushed over to his side, their phones out as their cameras flashed to try to snap a picture of the elusive hero. You stood off to the side, your arms folded as you waited to give him a piece of your mind. You were determined on getting some form of compensation after he'd fucked up your car, holding him responsible.

"Sorry, did you want a picture? We'll need to make this quick," Spider-Man spoke up when he saw you standing by the side, his large figure seeming more intimating as he stood in front of you. "No, what I want is my goddamn car back! It wasn't a damn ball for you to use! And you didn't even hit him with it!" Your voice came out frantic, more jumpy than you would've liked for it to be. You wanted your voice to portray the anger that you felt, but all you could feel is fear. Fear that you wouldn't have anything to navigate around the city with. "Oh. so you see.. I'm actually protected from anything involving public property. Lo siento," his voice didn't carry any sense of apology as he spoke, infuriating you even further.

"What the shock am i supposed to do with 'lo siento?!' And it wasn't public property, it was my private property!" You continued scolding at him, the annoyance that you felt starting to peek through the fear. "Is it really private property if you haven't finished paying it off yet?" He retorted, leaving you without an argument. He swung away before you had the chance to continue yelling at him, his red webs flashing across the buildings before disappearing completely. You couldn't help but stomp your foot in the ground, getting your phone out to call your insurance company to see what you could figure out about this situation.

"So, according to our system, you ended up getting our cheapest insurance option and unfortunately that means that your plan doesn't cover these types of damages. Your plan only covers Avengers-level threat and well.. the Green Goblin doesn't really qualify as one of those," the woman on the other line spoke up after clicking a few buttons on her computer, a groan threatening to make its way up your throat. She sounded sympathetic enough to the point where you didn't want to start complaining, but you couldn't help the hint of desperation that crawled up your voice when speaking.

"So is there anything else that I can do?" You asked her, your foot anxiously tapping on the sidewalk below you. "Hold on, let me connect you to someone else," she responded, the tapping on the other end resuming. “I don't want to speak to another rep-" your words got cut off by an elevator jingle, a couple advertisings being made here and there. What was supposed to be a calming waiting experience only served to stress you out further, your foot seeming to be tapping against the floor at a hundred miles an hour. Your eyes flickered around the mess, waiting for the elevator jingle to fade into good news.

"There's actually nothing that we can do in this situation," another voice came through the line after what seemed to be an eternity of waiting. "And you had to keep me on hold for the last five minutes just to say that?" You responded, starting to feel more tired than annoyed at the situation by this point. "Sorry about that. remember that your car payment's on the fifth of next month," the voice reminded you of your impending debt, a loud click sounding before the line ended. You made your way back into the restaurant, forcing a smile on your face as you took orders despite the fact that you wanted to curl up into a little ball and cry. Or yell. Whatever would help you feel better.

"Jess, can you come into my office for a second? It's a matter of life or death," Miguel spoke into his gizmo, waiting for a confirmation before he turned it off. Jessica appeared into his office in a couple seconds, her eyes widened in alert as she looked around for what was the life or death urgent matter. "So, walk with me through a hypothetical. Imagine you're broke and Spider-Man destroys your car. and you have a date with Spider-Man's alter ego. Except you don't know that it's Spider-Man until he decides to show you. How would you feel after that revelation?" Miguel asked her after the platform made its way down, Jessica’s face morphing into annoyance almost immediately.

"This isn't a matter of life or death first of all. Second of all, think I'd just drop kick you after the revelation. Did you even manage to land the car or not?" Jessica responded, making Miguel let out an annoyed huff as he ran through the possibilities in his mind. Though he'd had the same idea that she had, he didn't enjoy having them confirmed by someone else. "No," he admitted, glaring over at her when she started to laugh. "Good luck with that," she advised him, leaving the room to let him be with his own thoughts. He was more than certain he would need more than luck for this to work out in his favor.

He pulled up the tab for the dating app that Peter had signed him up, scrolling through your pictures like he wanted just the slightest sign that you weren't the same person. The more and more that he looked at the photos, the more that he tried to convince himself that something was off. Maybe that the angles didn't match up, that he believed he saw a beauty mark on the picture without having seen it on you today. But no matter how hard he tried, he knew that deep down, he'd destroyed his date's car. Even if he could get himself to disregard the fact for the date tonight, he knew that it would be haunting him later on. He felt the need to be completely honest with you in the ways that he could, wanting to show you every single part of him. The good, the bad, and the ugly.

While he'd been reluctant to actually giving in and trying out the app given the fact that he didn't have that much time to put into a relationship, he almost thought of himself as lucky for stumbling onto your profile. The conversations between the two of you was something that he looked forward to when he woke up in the morning and when he went to sleep at night. You were easy to talk to, someone that understood his dry sense of humor without taking offense to it. You'd even offered him some solutions to the problems he had going on despite not having much knowledge about the topic of hand, making sure that he'd put his well-being above anything else. He'd grown to care about you more than he initially anticipated for.

He'd never admit to it if you asked, but he found himself looking back at the nude photos that you'd exchanged with him. The way that your body sprawled out on your bedsheets, your lingerie clinging tightly onto your curves like it was begging for him to take it off. The teasing smile on your face as you looked up at the camera, making all the thoughts in his head disappear. All that had been running through his head upon seeing those photos was what he wanted to do you, his lips tracing every inch of your body as he worshipped you the way that you deserved to be. If he would have it his way, he'd make sure no inch of your body was left untouched by his lips.

He'd spent many nights with his hand tightly fisted around his cock, wishing that you'd be in the same room with him making him feel that level of pleasure. The sounds that you let out in the video you'd sent him were heavenly, a sensation coursing through him that he wouldn't be able to achieve even with the best produced porn video. It filled him with a sense of pride that it was him making you feel so needy, the small whimpers of his name making every nerve in his body short circuit. He knew that his hand wouldn't be able to compare to the way that you felt, the way that it would feel slipping inside of you for the first time. Your walls clenching tightly around his cock as you welcomed the intrusion, his pace gentle as he eased you into it.

He'd ignore the voices outside of his office just to get off to the thought of you, his fangs digging into his lower lip as he tried to muffle every sound that was eliciting from deep down. A quiet 'shock' here and there escaped from his lips, nothing that would alert any of the other members in the Society. The grip around his cock would tighten, like he was trying to do justice to the way that your pussy would tighten around him. His reddened tip kept leaking out precum, lathering his hand with every stroke that he gave himself. You'd become the object of every fantasy that he had, his work starting to get sloppy from the way that you'd been clouding his mind for days now.

Ropes of cum shot up to his stomach, a temporary relieve of the desire that had been brewing inside him. It was only a fleeting moment, before his thoughts returned back to you. It was a constant cycle of desire brewing morphing into a couple seconds of fleeting satisfaction, a burning inferno inside of him begging to be tamed with your fingers. To have your nails raking down his back, to seize every little gasp that you'd let out and every expression that would you make in the moment. He felt frustrated, at himself mostly. For letting himself get so pent up to the point where even the thought of you was a desire he couldn't fan down, of letting himself get so needy just for your touch.

To say that he was looking forward to the date with you was an understatement, having bought a new button down to prepare for it. He'd planned on taking the day early, taking the time to make sure he was well prepared for the date and going to buy you some flowers before he had to be at the restaurant. Every hope that he'd had towards the date quickly faded away, reminding him of what could've been. He almost wanted to kick himself for not picking the BMW parked next to your car. He hesitantly clicked on the 'block' button, though deep inside, he knew that you deserved more than just getting ghosted without any reason.

You ended up getting home later than you expected, getting lost in the subway system a couple of times before you managed to find your way. The date that you'd been looking forward to no longer seemed that exciting with all the events that had gone down tonight, and even if you were excited, you doubted you would be able to make it on time. You took out your phone to text Miguel that you wouldn't be able to make it, the text bubble turning green after you sent it. You wanted to lie to yourself and say that he didn't have any service, make any excuse for what you already knew deep down. A part of you didn't want to believe that you'd been ghosted, the conversations that the two of you shared almost seeming like out of a fairytale.

You tried sending him another message at a later time, only to find out that it met the same fate as your previous text. You slowly came to accept the situation for what it was, accepting the fact that you'd just been discarded like a toy. Though you weren't a stranger to getting ghosted on dating apps, this time, it seemed to sting more than the previous times. Maybe it was because you truly believed that it would go somewhere this time, that the two of you had formed a connection. You'd had the hope that he'd be the one you'd share those corny couple moments with, be the one who you'd go on dates with and have intimate moments with.

You ended up calling it a night early, all the lights in your apartment turned off as you snuggled with your fluffy blanket. You had a corny romance movie playing on the screen to get your mind off your current dilemma, to give you the chance to critique someone else's problems rather than dealing with your own. You'd bought a box of chocolates for yourself since they were a pretty decent price and it allowed you to indulge in the same things other people had on Valentine's Day, sticking them into your mouth as you watched the movie. You were doing everything in your power to avoid looking at your phone, to look through the messages you'd shared with Miguel just to have a reminder of what you could've had and of the texts that you'd romanticized so much in your head.

"Oh for fuck's sake, just say you love her," you muttered at the tv screen, rubbing your temples at just how overdramatized the whole plot was. Even after a while, the whole idea of making fun of fictional characters' problems lost its appeal. You turned off your tv, darkness enveloping your room instantly. You got up and cleaned up after yourself, making sure you hadn't left any chocolate remnants on your bedsheets or fingers. Despite having eaten half the box of chocolates, sleep washed over you with ease once you laid down. The grip that you had around one of your teddy bears was unrelenting as you slept, seeking out for some kind of comfort. Just having something there that would let you know it would be okay.

With all the hectics that happened last night, you'd forgotten to set your alarm early to make it to the subway on time. Despite the fact that you were basically working for minimum wage, your boss ordered you around like your service was what kept the restaurant running afloat. You got up from your bed after a couple minutes, already running the different excuses that you'd use. You figured that he wouldn't be exactly receptive to 'Spider-Man destroyed my only mode of transportation.' Your actions were slower than normal this morning, your fingers nimble as you buttoned up your shirt. The task had taken unnecessarily long, your mind constantly blanking out and forgetting about the task at hand.

You glanced over at the parking spot that your car used to occupy to notice a new suv parked in the spot, a red bow on top of it with a paper attached to the back of it. Your curiosity got the better of you, wondering who'd been so bold to park their car in your spot merely a day after it was unoccupied. You picked up the note, your eyes widening after you'd finished reading it.

'Sorry I messed up your car yesterday. I hope this makes up for it.

P.S. The keys are in your mailbox

P.P.S. Don’t worry about paying off your other car

- Your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man'

You wanted to stay mad at the webbed asshole for treating your car as his personal play-toy but you couldn't deny the fact that this car was much nicer than the one you used to drive. It was nice enough where it would get you from one place to another with minimal bumps but not flashy enough that it'd get broken into. You folded the note and set it in your pocket, heading over to your mail room to get the keys. Sure enough, the keys to the car laid inside on top of the mail that you'd forgotten to get. You picked up the keys after a couple seconds, walking back over to your new car to get going to work.

—

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hannibals-favourite-meal · 5 months

Text

.⋆｡Just Like Daddy｡⋆.

Johnny ‘Soap’ MacTavish x plus size reader

A bored husband and kids in need of a haircut while you’re at work, good thing they’re all so freaking adorable

Warnings: fluff, domestic humour

WC: 744

Minors DNI

Library- @hannibals-favourite-meal-library

“Honey! I’m home!” The front door quietly shut behind you as you kicked off your heels and dropped your work bag on the bench next to you. You expected a cacophony of noise upon your return given that there were 4 children in your home (including your husband) but the whole place was dead silent.

You glanced out the front window, confirming that Johnny’s car was in fact in the driveway so he wasn’t out running errands with the kids. Plus all of their little sneakers were lined up against the wall so they couldn’t have gone out to the park.

“Johnny?” After a quick look down the hallway to the empty kitchen, you began to climb the stairs to the second floor. Anxiety curled in your gut, logically you knew that everyone was fine and safe but Johnny’s job was dangerous and came with some very… interesting people.

But then, a baby’s giggle echoed from the master bathroom and your body relaxed. The sound was quickly cut off as another voice harshly whispered. “Shush.” That was definitely your husband.

“But it’s mama.” Your heart melted at your toddler’s words, he was such a mummy’s boy.

“I know it’s yer mum, tha’s why we’re stayin’ quiet.” You forced down your smirk, preparing a disapproving look for your family and whatever shenanigans they had gotten up to in your absence. Last time, Johnny, at the whims of your eldest, dyed Riley pink while you had been dog-sitting her for Simon. You were scrubbing pink dye out of the carpet for weeks afterwards.

Silently, you crept down the hall and slipped into your bedroom which was suspiciously clean considering the almost violent romp of last night and this morning. The bathroom door was firmly shut but light leaked out from underneath, letting you know exactly where your little clan was.

You slipped out of your work jacket and shimmied down your tights, deciding to let your husband fester in anticipation and his bad decisions for a few more minutes. By the time you had donned your comfy house clothes, you could feel the panic your husband was experiencing.

As soon as your wrist twisted the doorknob, the excited babbles began. “Mama!” Your youngest screamed. The door creaked open and for a moment, everything was dead silent.

Johnny stood beside the bathtub, your 6 year old daughter beside him as the two younger kids, your three year old and one year old, sat in the bath, huge smiles on their faces. Hair covered the tiled floor and it didn’t take you very long to work out where it had come from.

Each and every one of them had matching mohawks, each of them looking like an exact carbon copy of their father.

“Now bonnie, I can explain. See, me hair was gettin’ long so I wanted ta take some clippers ta it but then Maisie said her hair was too long and wanted it like mine and ya know I canne resist those big eyes o hers. And then the babies were upset and-and, it got outta hand.” He nervously rubbed the nape of his neck, a dark blush blooming across his scruffy cheeks.

Callum stood up, sending another wave of loose hair onto the ground, a pout on his face. “Wan look li da.” He said simply as if he were trying to defend his father. His baby sister Ava slapped the side of the tub with a happy screech.

“Ma-“ Maisie started but immediately stopped as soon as your laughter filled the room. You doubled over, clutching your stomach tightly. Johnny chuckled along with you uncomfortably, still anticipating some sort of retribution.

Wiping the tears from your eyes, you straightened up once more. Maisie ran into your waiting arms, her perfectly done mohawk brushing against your chest. Your fingers brushed through her hair that was so much like Johnny’s, pulling out the cut strands still caught in her thick mane.

“You gave me children some fudged up mullets.” You chuckled and his shoulders dropped, realising that he was finally off the hook.

“I’ll fix em up.” Leaning over your daughter’s head, you met his lips in a delicate kiss which was met by some very frustrated shouts from your children.

“Alright then! I guess we need to get everyone in a bath and maybe some pizzas in your bellies, daddy’s treat.” Four almost identical smiling faces looked back at you, all of them incredibly adorable.

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roosterforme · 1 year

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Scenic Route | Rooster x Reader

Summary: You can't wait to head back to the east coast for Christmas with your husband and your parents. But when your travel plans start to unravel, Bradley shows you what's really important. And you remember you already have everything you really need no matter where you are.

Warnings: Fluff, angst and mentions of smut

Length: 4300 words

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader

This was written to accompany my series Is It Working For You? along with a bunch of my one-shots and other series! (But it can be read on its own) Check my masterlist in my profile for the reading order!

"All I want for Christmas is four days off from work, a little bit of snow, and your dick with a bow on it," you told your husband with a smile as you got in bed. You had an early flight to Maryland to visit your parents the next morning, and you hadn't seen them since your wedding last month.

Bradley shook his head. "No way I'm putting a bow on my dick at your parents' house."

You pouted at him as you took your glasses off and set them on your nightstand. "Wow. Next you'll be telling me that Santa Claus isn't even real."

"Oh, Sweetheart," he rasped, pulling you close. "I've got some bad news for you."

"Don't you dare say it!" you scolded, holding his lips shut. "I won't stand for that! When we have kids, are you going to try to ruin it for them, too?"

You released his lips while he burst out laughing. "I was going to say that the bad news is there's no snow in the forecast in Maryland."

"Oh," you sighed, cuddling up with him. "Well, I can deal with that as long as Santa is still real."

A handful of hours later, when your alarm was going off, you moaned and practically crawled into the bathroom.

"Hurry up," Bradley kept urging as you washed your face and brushed your teeth. "Airport parking is going to be a mess."

You rolled your eyes at him in the mirror, but he kept following you around until you were walking out to the driveway with your luggage and a travel mug of coffee. The only time he would agree to taking your car anywhere was when it was in an effort to protect the Bronco. So you drove him to the airport in your little car so the Bronco wouldn't 'get dinged up in the parking garage'.

"You know what I'd love to get you for Christmas, Sweetheart? A new car."

You smiled as he shifted around in the front seat. It was almost amusing how much he hated your little car, but you loved it.

"This one is perfectly fine," you promised as you pulled into the parking garage at the airport.

He shot you a playfully unamused look as he unfolded his legs to climb out of the car and start gathering the luggage. But the look of displeasure was no longer playful as you followed him into the airport.

"Our flight's delayed," he said with a sigh as he looked up at the departures screen.

"No!" you groaned. "I'll text my parents and let them know while you check the bags."

But as soon as you hit send and watched your suitcase disappear from view, you noticed that your flight had been cancelled.

"Bradley!" you called, pointing to the screen as he walked back over to you.

"Oh, fuck," he sighed, running his fingers through his hair. "Stay here, Baby Girl." He turned back toward the airline agent while you called your parents.

------------------------------

Bradley managed to sweet talk a new itinerary out of the young woman who worked for the airline. And he wasn't necessarily proud of himself.

"Hi, Ava. That's such a pretty name," he said with a smile, watching her blush a bright shade of pink. "Is there anything you can do for me about this flight to Baltimore?"

She looked flustered now as she checked her computer screen. "There aren't that many options. This is because of all the snowstorms in the middle of the country, sir."

"You can call me Bradley."

"Bradley," she said with a smile. "I could reroute you to Denver first and then Atlanta and then into Baltimore?"

"That would be great," he said smoothly. "Anything you can do to make Maryland happen." He glanced over his shoulder to where you were talking on the phone and pacing around. The line behind him had started to grow with people dealing with cancelled flights, so he knew he needed to rebook these seats while he still could.

"I would be happy to do that for you, Bradley," she replied with a grin. "Oh, you have two seats under your reservation?"

"Yes," he told her as he watched you pace away again with your phone pressed to your ear. "For my wife and I."

"Oh," she said with a sigh before printing him out new boarding passes and handing them to him without another word.

"Thanks, Ava. Happy holidays."

Bradley rushed over to you and laced his fingers with yours. "Let's go. Only have a few minutes to get on our flight to Denver."

You sputtered but started to walk briskly along with him, smiling up at him as you spoke into your phone. "Dad, Bradley got us on a new flight! I'll call you back, okay?"

"Come on," he urged, and then you and he were rushing toward security before it started to get crowded.

"How did you do that?" you asked, wrapping your arms around his waist as you waited in line for your turn.

He kissed your forehead and whispered, "You don't want to know."

But you just laughed and nuzzled your face against his neck. "You either threatened someone or flirted with someone. Either way, good work, Roo."

"Honestly... the things I do for you."

When the two of you were the last passengers to board the flight to Denver before they closed the gate, you looked at him in surprise and went all the way back to your seats in the last row. "That was close," you whispered, taking the middle seat and snuggling up against his shoulder.

"I just hope our luggage gets there," he replied.

But soon enough, that was the least of his concerns. Because halfway through the flight, he was jolted awake by an announcement.

"This is your captain speaking. Because of weather related issues in Colorado, we will be rerouting to Dallas/Fort Worth."

"Shit," Bradley hissed as you and he shared a look of annoyance. "It's okay. We'll figure it out."

"Get ready to start flirting some more," you mumbled, taking his hand in yours.

When you and he deboarded in Texas, the entire airport appeared to be packed wall to wall with people. The flight announcement boards were all flashing with DELAYED or CANCELLED.

"What should we do?" you asked, but he was already calling the airline.

"Get ready to start sweet talking, Baby Girl," he told you. "It might take both of us."

"But that's your specialty," you said with a sigh. "I'll go search for something to eat, you stay here on the phone." Bradley kissed you before you wandered off through the crowds. He was tired. He knew you must be as well. But the most important thing was getting you to Maryland to spend the holiday with your parents. They were the only close family either of you had.

After talking to three different people on the phone, Bradley managed to get two middle seats on a flight to Memphis. He reasoned that at least you'd be heading in the right direction, as most eastbound flights were being cancelled for snow.

When you eventually returned with two coffees and a bag with sandwiches and snacks, he waved you over to the single seat he claimed. "Come here," he told you, patting his thigh so you had somewhere to sit. "We're going to Memphis, but we have a bit of a wait."

As soon as you were in his lap, he felt better. And when you handed him a sandwich, he felt great. "That's all they had left," you told him as you opened a bag of chips.

"It's perfect," he told you as he finished it in four bites. "You know there's a house for sale two streets behind ours, right? Get your parents to move there. It would be easier than this shit."

You sipped your coffee and then smiled at him. "You think my mom hasn't mentioned that to me already? She checks the San Diego real estate listings online all the time."

"Huh," Bradley said. He had been half joking, but he didn't hate the idea of having your parents nearby, in or around San Diego. It would certainly cut down on this kind of stress. And he could tell that you were getting antsy now as your eyes kept looking up over his head to see which flights had been cancelled.

"There's an elderly man standing over there," Bradley told you, patting your hip. "Why don't you go tell him he can sit here, and we can walk around instead."

"Okay," you replied, and Bradley watched as you walked up and introduced yourself to the older man with a cane and hearing aids. When you helped him make his way over to the seat, Bradley stood so he could sit down.

"Are you alone, Marvin?" you asked, letting him hold your hand until he was settled down into the seat.

"No, my daughter is with me. She went to wait in line for food a while ago. We're trying to go to San Diego."

You laughed and dug around in your bag. "Figures. We just left San Diego. And you can have the other half of my sandwich while you wait for her. The food lines are getting outrageously long."

"Thank you," he mumbled, taking the wrapped up sandwich and turning to Bradley. "Your wife is very sweet."

Bradley nodded at him and said, "She's everything," earning a brilliant smile from you in the process. "Happy holidays, Marvin."

---------------------------

You fell asleep in the Dallas/Fort Worth airport while you were standing up in Bradley's arms. It wasn't a very good nap, but you didn't get to sleep at all on the flight to Memphis which was filled with irate travelers and miserable children. You shoved your headphones in to avoid listening to the woman next to you complaining. This flight had been delayed several times, and you were happy to just be in the air again.

Bradley was a few rows in front of you, in between two people who did not look happy to have someone so tall between them. But he occasionally turned around to smile at you, and you mouthed I love you to him each time.

"Oh you've got to be kidding me," you gasped when you arrived in Memphis late on Christmas Eve only to find that all outbound flights had been grounded for the night. You felt the panic rise up inside you. "We were supposed to arrive in Baltimore yesterday," you said softly as Bradley wrapped his arms around you.

"It's okay," he said calmly. "It's late, but let's just text your dad and let them know where we are."

"We don't even have another flight booked, Bradley. We are going to have to spend Christmas in the Memphis airport." You could feel tears in your eyes, and you felt ridiculous as one of them fell to your cheek. "It's our first holiday married."

"I know, Sweetheart," he said as he wiped your tears away. But he was already on the phone again as he pointed you to an empty seat across the walkway. "I'll take care of it."

You carried your bag to the lone empty seat and plopped down while you sent a text. Your stomach was growling loudly, but there was nothing around except for shitty vending machines. Your phone rang as your dad called you, and you answered with a sob.

"Hi, dad."

"You're in Memphis now?"

"Yeah. It's almost midnight here. Merry Christmas," you told him softly.

"Listen, when you get here, you get here. Just be safe, and call when you're in Baltimore, okay? We're only thirty minutes from the airport, so whenever you land, I'll leave to come get you."

"Okay," you said, already crying again. "I love you."

When Bradley walked over and scooped you up out of the seat, he looked pleasantly happy. "Why are you smiling so much?" you asked as he settled down with you curled up on his lap.

"Because I have all good news, Baby Girl."

"Okay. Spill."

He kissed your temple and said, "We have a flight to Raleigh that leaves at noon. And we have some sort of rental car waiting for us there. And then it's just a five hour drive to your parents' house. I also got us some Doritos to enjoy together along with a Wild Cherry Pepsi."

You laughed and wrapped your arms around his neck. "Was the vending machine almost empty?"

"Sure was. There were zero options, but I'm fucking starving."

"Thanks for taking care of everything," you whispered as he fed you a chip. "You're wonderful."

"I'm only wonderful because of you," he replied, kissing your nose. "Now eat your fancy Christmas Eve dinner and try to get some sleep."

-----------------------------

Bradley held you in his lap all night as you dozed on and off. His left leg was asleep, and he hadn't been able to relax enough to get a nap, but that was fine. It was noisy here, even at two in the morning. This somehow reminded him of his first time on an aircraft carrier; he was dying to sleep but just couldn't. But he didn't have anything as nice as you in his life when he experienced that twelve years ago.

You sighed and pressed your lips to his neck as you slept, and he closed his eyes, memorizing how fucking good this felt. He was sure you'd disagree. The two of you were smashed between two families who were also trying to get a little rest, and there was an announcement going over the intercom. It was a little chilly in here, and Bradley was hungry enough to eat those nasty unsalted pretzels you liked so much. This wasn't the nicest way to spend Christmas morning. Not when you'd been expecting to be with your mom and dad.

But Bradley was so happy. You and he were married. You were together. He wasn't deployed. And you had your left hand planted against his chest where he could look at the rings he had given you. This was great. He'd be happy to do this every year with you.

You stretched and arched your back, and Bradley was finally able to shift his left leg to try to alleviate the sensation of pins and needles. "I had a dream," you whispered, "that Tramp ate Penny's turkey off the kitchen counter and they said they were never going to dogsit for us again."

Bradley laughed as he held you tight and kissed your hair. "Nah, he'll be a saint for Amelia. She takes him on a beach walk every day when he's there."

"That's true," you whispered before kissing his lips. "I'm sorry I've been cranky, Roo."

"Don't apologize," he said softly as you switched to sit on his right thigh. "This is not ideal."

"I know," you agreed, running your fingers along his mustache and his scarred cheek. "But we're together. Merry Christmas."

He pulled you close so your forehead rested against his. "I thought up a fun idea. Wanna hear it?"

"Yes."

He smiled and told you, "Let's walk around to all the vending machines and see what we can find. It'll be like opening presents together next to the tree at your parents' house."

Your laughter was so loud, you had to cover your mouth as you nodded. "Sounds so fun. Let's go."

The two of you scoured every corner of each of the terminals in the Memphis airport together until you had located eight different vending machines. Bradley watched you jump up and down when you found a bag of unsalted pretzels. "I love these things!" you said biting into one and then feeding him the rest of it.

"We got some good shit, Baby Girl." Then you and he sat side by side and ate everything as you watched a light snow falling outside. When Bradley finished drinking a bottle of ginger ale, he said, "If we have to sleep here again, those benches over in Terminal A looked classy as hell."

You nodded as you finished a bag of popcorn. "Just like our bed at home."

"You know it," he said, kissing your cheek before he stood to throw away all of the trash. Then he heard an announcement for your flight to Raleigh to start boarding, and he pulled you up to your feet. "Let's get out of here while he still can."

He carried your bag for you, and with a little luck, this flight actually took off on time. And Bradley fell asleep on your shoulder while you ran your fingers softly through his hair.

-----------------------------

"I love it!" you shouted in the freezing cold rental car lot in Raleigh. "It's just like my car!"

Bradley groaned and tossed your bag onto the backseat. "Every time we get a rental car, we just get the newest model year of your little shit mobile!"

"It's even red!" you said, laughing right at him. "I'll drive. I'm going to like it so much, I'll just get a new one to replace my car when it dies in like ten more years."

"No," he said. "I'll drive. I don't want you getting any ideas." He steered you around to the passenger side door and opened it for you before he buckled you in. Every time you tried to complain, he kissed your lips until you were sighing and digging your fingers into his hair.

"Are you trying to get me to fuck you in the backseat or something?" you whispered against his lips before he stood and looked down at you in the passenger seat.

"First of all, no, I'm trying to get us to your parents' house. And second, no, because we wouldn't both fit. I don't even think you could get a car seat back there," he said with a pointed look before he closed the door and walked around to the driver's seat.

"A car seat," you muttered as you adjusted the radio to play some Christmas music as he pulled out onto the road.

"You heard me, Baby Girl."

You were hopeful. You really were, but you were trying not to dwell on it, at least not today. Bradley drove for a few hours into the dim evening dusk, and you offered so many times to switch seats with him. But he just kept telling you to feed him some of the vending machine snacks and keep the Christmas music playing.

When you texted your parents to let them know what was going on, you knew they would be waiting for you. But they really went above and beyond. You texted them when you were about twenty minutes away, and when Bradley pulled the little red car into the driveway at eight at night, they came running outside.

"You must both be so hungry!" your mom said, rubbing her hands together, brow pinched with stress. "Dinner is ready. I just took it all out of the oven."

"You didn't have to wait for us to eat," Bradley told her as she hugged him.

"Nonsense! We'd wait until tomorrow if we needed to!" she told him before kissing both of your cheeks. "Now get inside, it's freezing."

---------------------------

Bradley managed to sneak into the bathroom and into the shower with you around midnight. The four of you had enjoyed one of the best dinners he could ever remember eating. Then your parents had spoiled the two of you with gifts, including a new bed for Tramp. And now you and he were about to change into some borrowed pajamas after finally getting showered.

"I really hope our luggage shows up back at home at some point," you said as you removed Bradley's shirt.

"It will," he said, helping you strip down and climb under the stream of steamy water. Both of you groaned in pleasure and then laughed.

"I already feel so much better," you muttered as he started washing your body, paying extra attention to your breasts.

"Wash my hair?" he asked you, flashing his big, brown eyes.

"Always," you promised, and he melted into your touch. "You know, Roo, this day was actually kind of fun. The vending machine Christmas gifts, and the rental car sing along. And then finally getting to eat dinner."

"It was perfect," he told you.

You laughed. "Well, that might be a stretch, but I think-"

"It was perfect," he insisted. "I spent my day with you. And we got to see your parents. That was all I was really hoping for. But on top of that, you're my wife. And marrying you has been the best thing that happened to me this year. So today was perfect."

Bradley could tell even as the shower spray wet your face that you were starting to cry. "I love you."

"I love you, too. And even though we only get to spend one day with your parents before flying back to San Diego, I wouldn't change being with you for anything else."

The two of you were wrapped up in towels and stumbling out of the bathroom, laughing quietly together when you almost bumped right into your mom.

"I thought you were in bed!" you told her, holding your towel in place, and Bradley had never felt as naked as he did with this damp towel around his waist.

"Your dad needed his blood pressure medication from the kitchen," she replied with a smirk on her face. "Why are you looking at me like that? You're married. I know you two are having sex."

"Oh, god," you groaned, leaning back against Bradley, covering your eyes.

"We didn't..." he started. "Not in the bathroom..." he added. "Good night!" he said, slipping past you into the room you and he were going to be sharing. And when he looked back at you and your mom before he closed the door, you looked scandalized.

He laughed quietly to himself as he pulled on the random assortment of clothing your dad was letting him wear since the luggage was currently lost. When you came in a few minutes later, still in your wet towel, he was laying in bed waiting for you.

"You bailed on me!" you hissed, tossing the towel at him and standing there naked. "We made wedding vows, Bradley!"

He caught the towel and tossed it onto the floor as he reached his hands out for you. "Why don't you come over here, and I'll make everything better?"

You climbed into bed next to him, and he wrapped his arms around you to keep you warm. "Roo, she asked me if you and I are having unprotected sex." Bradley snorted as you groaned. "She wants to know if you're giving me creampies, because she wants grandchildren!"

Bradley burst out laughing. "She actually said that?"

"Not those exact words, but you know what I mean!"

"Well, Merry Christmas, mom," he said softly while he tried to contain his laughter. "We're working on it."

You buried your head under the pillow, and Bradley had to coax you out with some kisses. "Can I have my Christmas present now?" he asked once you were draped across his chest with your fingers in his hair and your lips on his neck.

"Yeah," you whispered. "I'm about to give it to you."

Bradley stroked his fingers along your cheek so that you were looking at him. "You already give me everything, Baby Girl. You know that, right?"

You pressed your lips together and nodded. "Me and you."

"I love it," he promised as your lips met his again.

-------------------------

"Okay, so this has kind of been a disaster," you told Bradley as you finally boarded your delayed flight back to San Diego the next night. "But also, I sort of loved this?"

"Best Christmas ever," he whispered, slipping into the seat next to yours and grabbing both ends of your seatbelt. Then he snapped them closed and tightened the strap, just like he always did. He even always buckled you in the Bronco. You were so used to all these little things now. You just looked at him for a few moments, and he looked back as a smile found his lips.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" he asked, cocking his head to the side.

"Well, I learned a lot about you over the past few days," you told him as the flight attendants closed the overhead compartments.

"And?" he prompted, linking his fingers with yours.

"I think you might be perfect," you informed him seriously. "You took care of everything in all the airports so I didn't have to worry. You made sure that sweet, old man had somewhere to sit."

"Marvin," Bradley interjected.

"Yes, Marvin. You held me while I napped. You made sure we ate. You played vending machine Christmas gift roulette with me. You drove the rental car. You made my parents happy. And, plus, you keep doing all the little things that you always do. Like hold my hand the perfect way so my wrist doesn't hurt, and buckle my seatbelt for me. You're perfect."

He looked at you. "You take care of me all the time, Sweetheart. I like taking care of you, too. That's just... what I always do."

You nodded and snuggled against his arm as the plane took off, taking you home to San Diego. "Keep on doing it, Roo. Please."

"I'm planning on it, Baby Girl."

---------------------------

Roo takes care of BG, and BG takes care of Roo. Thanks @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls.

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intheorangebedroom · 4 months

Text

Tonight you belong to me, chapter 2

Summary: He comes to you every Friday, in a shady motel on the outskirts of town.

Two months have passed since your first time at the motel with Frankie. What has changed, what hasn't. Who are you now?

Pairing: Frankie Morales x fem!Reader (OFC)

Rating: Explicit 🔞 PLEASE, see series masterlist for extensive trigger warnings.

A/N: Happy Frankie Friday, Orange besties 🧡 How are you all? Gentle reminder that our Reader is an OFC. In this chapter, we get to know her better, and there are indirect physical descriptions of her. Sincerest apologies to anyone who knows Tampa. I did a lot of research, but I'm afraid my ignorance will still show… I swear I did my best. Raul is real, though. He's a friend of a very dear friend and he lives in Paris.

@frannyzooey my love, as always, I am in your debt. Thank you for your help. I love you more than words 🧡

I hope you enjoy this one, Orange besties, it made me sweat blood, @dreamymyrrh and @pedrit0-pascalit0 had to listen to my constant whining to put me on life support. Ily 🧡

Word count: 8.6k

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Chapter 2: Closer

The traffic is dense, but you spot Ava’s red Toyota as soon as it turns into E 7th avenue.

On any given Saturday, the upbeat neighborhood is bustling with cheerful crowds of leisured weekenders and hip thirty-something. On this particular Saturday, the first after Thanksgiving, the streets are a vision from hell.

There’s a constant ballet of cars pulling in and out along the curbs. On each side of the avenue, the sidewalks are swarming with jittery shoppers, frenetically prospecting for good deals on potential Christmas gifts. You’re willing to bet that most of them will stretch their budget thin on useless, meaningless knickknacks. Generic trinkets without soul nor purpose but that will, for the first half hour of ownership at least, fill the void in their consumers’ existence.

The traditional Christmas tree of unholy proportions is up and sparkling. Wrapped around the iron porch columns, electrical garlands blink in rapid sequences like luminescent spasmodic snakes. Storefronts are decorated with more or less taste. The temperature has dropped twice below 70. It’s that time of the year.

The merry season usually finds you adding a generous helping of anxiolytics to your daily cocktail of little helpers. This year, however, you haven’t popped a pill in days, and everything feels… more. Louder, too vivid, more oppressive. Sensations magnified and emotions amplified. Which is, after all, what you were aiming at when you unilaterally decided to taper off your intake.

Ava miraculously secures a free spot on the other side of the avenue, about a hundred yards in front of yours. You watch her parallel park, the maneuver surprisingly sloppy, given the parking assist technology the brand-new hybrid car is equipped with, and you wonder if you really needed to spend that much money on it.

In front of your own parked car, pedestrians agglutinate at the crosswalk. When the light turns green, they move as one, like flocks of extras on a movie set, coming to life on cue when the director yells “action!”

They’re not extras, however, each one of them is the main character in the movie of their life. Together they form a constellation of individual and interconnected stories, while you stand at the margin, forever exhausted, willfully forlorn. At best, a supporting part in Ava’s fantastic tale of eccentric adventures, but more likely a backdrop in your father’s gripping success story.

Although, your narrative has changed drastically over the past two months. You now got a part in your own right, unfolding in between takes.

You wait until Ava gets out of her vehicle before you exit yours, reluctant to leave the hushed safety of your old sedan’s cab, even for the few minutes it’ll take you to meet with her and step into the coffee place.

You wave at her from across the busy street until she sees you, but when she proceeds to jaywalk over to you, reckless and entirely indifferent to your pleading expression, you have to avert your eyes. There’s a crosswalk right in front of you, god dammit.

She levels up with you and pecks a kiss on your cheek, hitting your cheekbone with force, more headbutt than demonstration of affection.

“Hey,” she says, barely stopping in her tracks before she pushes open the glass door to the coffee shop.

“Hello, pup,” you answer fondly, your words lost to the street’s bustle.

Inside, the artificial air instantly pulls at your skin. The atmosphere is cool but dry, saturated with the smell of freshly grounded coffee beans and greasy-sweet pastries. The high-ceiling, cement floor, wide open-space is packed. The brick walls reverberate the ambient noises, and the late morning sun beams brightly through the large floor-to-ceiling windows, evenly spaced along the lateral walls. People sit in small parties around the white designer tables, sipping iced coffees from tall red paper cups with white snowflakes, large shopping bags at their feet.

Trying your best not to shrink and shrivel from the multiple overwhelming stimuli, you focus on Ava’s back, walking behind her as she leads the way to a free table at the rear of the coffee shop, between the counter and one of the windows. There’s a regal quality to her gait and the way she carries herself, not unlike your father, the resemblance enhanced by her preference for masculine clothing, and you have to love the irony, given how much she hates the man. She has your mother’s beauty, though. The same luxurious dark hair, fair, flawless skin, and wide green eyes, her frame tall, her figure athletic. She’s the masterpiece. Next to her, you look like a clumsy first draft, with blurry edges and hesitant features.

She throws her jean jacket on the back of her chair and collapses on her seat with a theatrical sigh.

Across from her, you sit down gingerly on the edge of the hard wooden chair, balancing your weight around the sore and delicious ghost sensation of Frankie between your hips.

“You look good,” you start.

“Yeah, you too!” she exclaims, like it’s unexpected, “tired but like, good. Are you getting any sleep?”

You smile, waving your hand dismissively.

“Don’t we have to go to the counter to order?”

“No, it’s fine,” she answers, “they serve at the table. I’m having an oat milk matte, what do you want?”

“An espresso, I think.”

Right on cue, a young woman dressed in a black cropped top and black skinny jeans presents herself at your table and proceeds to tap in your order on a rectangular electronic device. Her long acrylic nails hit the screen with a rapid succession of click-click-click. The sound brings you back to your parents' dining-room, the large table standing like an angular island on the shiny square of reflective tiles, in the middle of a shag carpet ocean. Your mother’s nails, painted in Revlon Desirable #150, rattling impatiently over the lacquered surface of the dining table near her untouched plate and a glass of G&T sweating with condensation. She never ate her food. She drank even when she was pregnant.

Your fingers find the back of your knee and pinch the thin skin there, so hard you flinch.

The waitress waltzes off, and Ava returns her full attention to you.

“I’m happy to see you,” she offers, and you smile softly at her uncustomary expression of affection. Your chest expends. “It’s been a while.”

There’s no reproach in her tone, but you are usually the one expressing ill-concealed concern over her long silences, and the reversal in your dynamic throws you off. Guilts gnaws at you. You choose defense.

“You were away.”

“Yeah, but like, I came back three weeks ago.”

Three weeks. Your smile fades and you slump in your chair, running a quick mental calculation.

Time has never been an easy concept for you to grasp, but until recently, you’ve managed to remain afloat and functioning, on a practical level at least, amidst a society that revolves around schedules and timetables. The watch on your wrist, yearly organizers, recently and reluctantly replaced by the iCal app on your phone, sticky notes, tin boxes filled with tickets stubs… All clutches to your failing memory, anything to keep you tethered against an overpowering and primal instinct to escape, let go, drift away. And perhaps, most of your exhaustion stems from this endless swimming-race against the current.

Lately, your inability to remember appointments, to navigate time and hold an effective grasp on reality has reached a new high. For the past two months, your life has revolved around Friday nights and the sound of a red pickup truck pulling in and out of a decrepit motel’s parking, tires screeching on the gravel. Inside this timeframe, your entire life is contained. Around it, the days stretch, spiral, and blend. And you’ve lost all motivation and interest in any counter-current swimming.

You frown slightly, scanning her face, but she doesn’t let on anything out of the ordinary. After all, if she genuinely worried, if she so badly needed to see you, she could have given you a call. You were the one to reach out and ask to see her this morning.

Something’s different about her, in the way she holds herself straighter on her seat, with her legs crossed and her head tilted to the side, exposing the undercut she got before the summer. You’re still not entirely sure if this was the bold fashion statement she claimed it to be, rather than a dramatic reaction to her girlfriend moving back to New York. With Ava, it could be both. She’s not wearing any makeup today, her face looks disarmingly young, and the concern she’s expressed, however subtle, churns your insides with guilt and affection.

You plaster a polite smile on your face.

“Well, I’m here now. It’s good to see you, too. Tell me, how was New York? How’s Polly?”

The waitress returns with the pastries and beverages you ordered, and Ava begins to narrate her two-week trip to the big city. She speaks fast, punctuating her words with large gestures to describe the cultural buoyancy, the hip neighborhoods and her thrifts finds, the street food and the refined, cutting-edge restaurants, how everything is bigger there, faster and better, how she fell safe walking hand in hand with Polly, the clubs, the galleries, the weather, crisp air and chilly winds from the north, a refreshing, comforting seasonality to pace the existence.

“I was fucking crying when I boarded the plane back, you have no idea.”

“Oh, I can imagine,” you sigh, shaking your head. “You don’t miss her too much?”

She doesn’t answer, and something in the way she avoids your gaze makes you frown again.

Polly and you have always gotten along well. You genuinely appreciate her solar personality and her worldly conversation. Their encounter four years ago had been the silver-lining in an otherwise horrendous year. The happy, coincidental consequence of a chain of events that had been years in the making.

When Ava dropped out of college halfway through her freshman year, it provided your father with the excuse he had been waiting for to kick his own child out of his house. You had seen it coming. In fact, you had spent your entire adult life shielding Ava from the paternal discontent, investing all your strength into becoming the son and successor he had wished for, and that neither of you could ever be.

Ava, however, had never put in the effort. She didn’t fit into the family portrait. She never had. You didn’t want her to, and she simply couldn’t. Too rebellious, decidedly unconventional, and, well, queer, to boot. Your father had spent years formatting you and there she was, standing proud, strengthened by your unconditional support, a glaring highlight of your diverging values, a breathing reminder of his failure with you both.

In the aftermath of the fall-out, Adrian had refused to take her in, and she had spent days out of your sight, sleeping god knows where. Eventually, you’d dug your heels in, as you only ever did when Ava was concerned and her wellbeing on the line, and obtained that she move in with you. The cohabitation hadn’t gone smoothly in the least. As usual, Adrian was more concerned about potentially upsetting your father than making you happy. You were once again caught between crossed fires.

The strained situation with your fiancé notwithstanding, Ava couldn't spend her time sitting idly at home. You had pleaded with her for weeks before she agreed to resume her studies. Only this time, it had to be with your funding. The realization that you didn’t have any consequential money of your own had been brutal, even though it shouldn’t have been a surprise: you lived in Adrian’s apartment, and were employed by your father, who refused point-blank to let you sell some of your company shares, knowing the money would go to his estranged daughter.

All you could afford was Hillsborough Community College, but things had eventually taken a turn for the better when Ava and Polly had met. Polly was teaching psychology, waiting for a tenure that she would never be granted. Because of the 20-year age gap between them, she insisted Ava graduate with her BA before they started properly dating. And when they did, the improvement in your sister’s mental state and overall balance was immediately noticeable.

Calm and collected, affectionate and thoughtful, Polly grounds your young sibling. She eases her anger and channels her energy into creative and fruitful endeavors, without snuffing her rebellious temper.

And now, despite Ava being almost fully independent, with a job and a place of her own, you don’t know what you’d do if they were to break up. If one of them were to decide that a long-distance relationship is not what she wants.

You lean forward, your hand coming to rest over hers, warm and smooth. “Hey pup, what’s up? Is everything ok between you two?”

“Oh yes,” she quickly assures you, withdrawing her hand, “and by the way, she sends you her best.”

Understanding downs on you like a bucket of ice. You suddenly feel stupid, pathetically naive, forever one step behind. Leaning back in your chair, you let out a short, soundless huff. What you’re facing is not a breakup, but the likely possibility that Ava will soon move out of town to follow Polly to New York.

Ava is talking again, about New York you’re guessing, but you can’t focus on her words. Behind your impassive eyes and your attentive smile, your mind reels and wrestles with a downpour of conflicting thoughts and emotions. Pride flares in your chest at the prospect of your baby sister setting roots in a city as intimidating as New York, but it tugs at something else, something you’re too scared to consider, and an ugly feeling you’re reluctant to acknowledge.

Would she hesitate before leaving you behind, after you’ve prioritized her freedom over yours? After you stayed so she could fly away? And wouldn’t it be the point?

Your eyes travel up along the trail of small tattoos adorning her forearms. Dominos, tea cups, a white rabbit with round glasses, a flamingo, several thin arrows, a broken heart in flames.

What’s your purpose, if she’s not here anymore? If someone else is looking after her? If your sacrifice is no longer necessary nor justified?

“How was Thanksgiving dinner? Did you have fun talking about politics with Richard?”

You wince involuntarily at your father’s name. She never refers to them as “mom” and “dad.” She hasn’t for a long while. But today the sarcasm doesn’t fool you, no more than her feigned indifference.

She’s not truly asking if you had to bite your tongue and smile through conversations that make you nauseous. She knows well enough you’ve got just enough political convictions to carry you to the voting poll, but hardly a step further. Listening to him is painful, but you get by, and your shameful silence buys you necessary peace.

No, what she wants to know is if your family inquired about her. And you don’t have it in you to answer that no, no one has, not last Thursday, not for the past four years, not ever. Not your indifferent father, nor your inebriated mother. Not your bigot grandparents, not your egotistic aunt and her gold-digging husband, not even the housekeeping staff.

You shrug noncommittally.

“Who were the guests of honor, this year?”

The question makes you groan and briefly close your eyes at the memory.

“Adrian’s parents.”

“No?! Fuck! They really want this marriage to happen, don’t they? Looks like you’re not gonna be able to dodge much longer.”

She smacks her hand over her thigh, letting out a short staccato of a chuckle, as if the subject of your confinement through marriage was a laughing matter. You glare at her, crossing your legs and folding your arms over your chest, but the shifting in your demeanor goes unnoticed.

Suddenly, her levity riles you up. She got away. You didn’t. And the only thing that carried you through this year’s Thanksgiving dinner is the perspective of being fucked senseless by a stranger on a dirty motel floor the following night.

For a brief moment, you’re tempted to bite, and retort that, contrary to her, you didn't spend the holiday on your own. But the truth is that you envy her the privilege, and she knows it.

Taking a deep breath that does absolutely nothing to calm your growing nerves, you stir the conversation towards another topic, finding neutral ground with her job. You’re stalling, and you’re not even good at it. You sit restless on that damn hard chair, squirming uncomfortably, sweat prickling under your armpits in the chill artificial air, eyes flicking down to your watch every other second.

“Do you have to be somewhere, or something?”

Your head shoots up. Again, you have no idea what she’s talking about, or how long she’s been rambling for. This is ridiculous. You are being ridiculous.

“Listen, Ava, I have to ask you something. A favor. I have to ask you a favor.”

Her eyes widen at your sudden change of tone but she nods. “Hit me.”

“I need you to… I need to be able to tell Adrian that I spend… that I spend Friday nights at your place. Actually, I’ve already been doing it for a while. He thinks we see each other on Friday evenings. I just… I need more time. I need the night.” You grip your shin with both hands and dig your nails in. “It really doesn’t matter anyway, he’s not home on Fridays, he plays poker and he never comes back until like, 3 or 4am, and I just need— I need to be able to come home after him. Not, like, every week. Or yes, maybe every week. Just in case. If ever. You know?”

She remains completely still and silent as you wrestle your words out of your throat. Her face hardens, her wide, green eyes strained on you. She gauges you in silence for another moment, while you rub your clammy palms on your jeans under the table. Above the table, you do your very best to maintain a casual air.

“And what exactly is it that you do, on Friday nights?”

You anticipated the question, of course you did. You swallow around the sharp stone stuck in your throat. Your eyes dart down to your espresso cup. It’s empty.

“I’m just taking a bit of time off for myself.”

More time, to commit his body and his face to your long-term memory after he’s left you, depriving you of his heat. The tiny bits of him that add up to form the formidable sum of the man he is. The locks that curl around his ears. The dip in his collarbone. The little target tattooed on his hand. You’re never sure which hand it’s on, you need more time, that’s all. And you won’t lie to her, not exactly. You set your mind on that early on. But you will not tell her the whole story.

A large shit-eating grin slowly parts her plump lips.

“Are you telling me that Richard’s favorite daughter is getting some side dick on a weekly fucking basis?”

“Jesus, Ava, why do you always have to be so crude?”

“But you are? Right? You are getting dicked down, every fucking Friday night? Right? Are you on Tinder, or something?”

“I’m not—” you start, but her excitement is louder than your exasperation. She uncrosses her legs to lean toward you, propping her elbows on the table and threading her fingers together, talking over you.

“Why didn’t you tell me? For once that something cool–”

“Because there’s nothing to tell,” you retort through clenched teeth, raising your voice. Her mouth hangs open in shock. You don’t give her time to recover. “And look, if you don’t want to do that for me, it’s fine, it’s not like anyone is going to call you to ask if I’m with you.”

She takes the blow, leaning back in her chair. “Wow. You really thought this through, didn’t you?”

You don’t answer, shame and anger burning your cheeks.

“Why you’re telling me now, then?”

“Like I said. In case.”

“I case what? In case I find myself on a Friday evening in the same place Adrian takes his cuntsluts?”

You steel yourself and stare at her.

“Something like that, yes.”

—

Two months.

Two months of lies and deception, shoving your bright secret deep down inside you, shrouded under a veil of routine and normalcy.

Nine weeks, split into six days of stretched out hours, swirling languid and excruciating, like smoke from a cigarette stub in a room without air, and one day of counting. The minutes, your steps, your breaths, your heartbeats.

Saturdays, worn-out, appeased, pleasantly aching. Sundays rising slow like a lurking threat. Mondays-Tuesdays-Wednesdays merging, dragging and useless. People talking to you, expecting words, when your mind is filled with two glistening bodies entwined in golden hues. A tremor on Thursdays, the nearing promise, and by Friday morning you’re all frayed nerves and aching want, tapping into your pent-up emptiness for focus and patience.

Friday evenings sliced up into a ritualized sequence of actions.

At 6pm, you leave your office and head toward the employees' underground parking. There are 37 steps from your desk to the two silver-doors elevators on the landing. Seventeen stories down, including 2 underground levels, and 58 steps from the elevators to your designated parking place. It is crucial that you don’t allow the pace of your steps to catch up with the racing thumps of your heart.

From downtown Tampa, it’s an hour and thirty-six minutes drive north on the 589, before you reach the motel. An hour and fifty minutes, two hours top, if the traffic’s bad. There might be faster alternative routes, but you don’t use the GPS, so you don’t know about them.

Once you’re there, you park in front of room number 7, the one with the missing brass number. You stuff your phone into your purse, which you slide under your seat.

You exit your car and walk towards the reception in short, hurried strides, cursing the tight skirt that hinders your steps and gives your posture a subdued aspect, which is probably why your father imposes the garment on his female employees.

The reception is a square room with an old humming AC unit, dark-brown fabric wallpaper, yellowing popcorn ceiling and a counter behind which sits Raul, the night clerk. Raul is a short man in his mid-60s. His dark eyes are reshaped into tiny concentric boot buttons by the thick lenses of his small, round glasses. His light brown, straight hair is styled in a bowl cut. He only wears beige Henley’s with rolled-up sleeves and indigo painter overalls. You’ve never seen his shoes.

Every week, Raul hands you the key to room number 2 without lifting his boot-button eyes from the charcoal drawing he busies himself over behind the counter, and tells you in a thick accent that “everything has already been taken care of.”

Every week, you thank Raul, grab the key from his stretched out left hand, and chance a glance over the counter to see what he’s drawing. Mountains, infallibly, week after week, the scenery only varying in shape and shades of anthracite.

And every week, as you exit the reception, you feel Raul’s boot-button eyes strained on your back through his round glasses.

When you step inside room number 2, you flick up the two toggle switches by the door, turning on the lights and the overhead fan, and you go to the bathroom to wash your hands and check your reflection in the antique black-edged mirror.

Then, you return to the room and you sit on the bed. That’s where you wait for him.

You don’t undress, you don’t lie down, you don’t undo the bed.

You know what he’ll do to your clothes. Anticipation trickles down along your spine all the way to the ripe heat between your thighs, and it travels right back up to tug up at the corners of your lips, but you press them together, lips and thighs, as you wait.

He comes in after dark, preceded by the sound of tires on gravel and that of his boots stomping on the porch and he’s here, Frankie’s here, the rush of night air from outside when he storms into the room wafting over your face.

He greets you with a hoarse voice, like he hasn’t used it all week, and he takes a couple of long strides towards the desk, where he sets down his cap. You peer at his reflection in the framed mirror when he combs his fingers through his dark curls, tense jaw, creased brow. You study his broad shoulders, the rippling muscles of his strong back, when he takes off his jacket and drapes it on the back of the chair, swift, precise gestures. It’s his own ceremonial, you let him have it, his transition into this world that you share. The confine of this room. Brown carpet, yellow curtains.

When he turns to face you, at last, it’s always with a heavy, grating sigh, a sound so rough and primitive to express his relief, his hunger, the limit of his patience. You stand up slowly, unfurling in slow motion from your sitting position on the edge of the bed, eyes on him, forever and always. His want radiates from him in colorful angry waves, like a tangible, virulent aura, black eyes boring into your skin and you welcome it as it pours out of him and creeps up to you like thick fumes.

You stand tall in the charged stillness of the motel room, offered, but not quite yet within reach, waiting for him to come and seize you.

“Take off your clothes,” he says as he comes closer, tilting up his chin. The command rumbles low and guttural from his throat, and those words are your cue. You clamber out of your statuesque stillness, twisting your ankles out of your pumps while he tugs at your blouse, as he crashes his lips onto yours.

His first kiss is voracious, unescapable, your face trapped between his cupped hands, and you’re engulfed in the taste of him, drowning in the scent of him, leather and soap and musk. And something metallic you have no name for. It’s intoxicating, you’re floating, losing both bearings and balance, like when you were thirteen, and you’d sneak to the downstairs pantry to drink your mother’s gin before dinner.

On some Friday nights, you’ve already made it back to your glass prison when you notice a tear in the seam of your shirt, or a missing button. “Take off those fucking clothes, I wanna feel your skin.”

“Yes,” you answer with parted lips, parted heart, parted life, jaunty fingers working your skirt open.

Beyond that point, neither of you talks much.

It’s his name –Frankie– falling from your lips, a long but quiet whimper when you come, a whine of pleasure-plain when he inches into you, a moan when you plead for more, a whisper when you promise you can take it all.

It’s his clipped orders, sharp and short.

Open up

Push back into it

Let me hear you

I want you to come on it

And two words, always the same since that first time in the parking lot.

Stop me.

Stop me when he pins your hands above your head or folds your arms in the small of your back, his fingers like shackles around your wrists, and he lines himself up. Stop me before his saliva drips down his tongue in fat drops between your breasts, and he straddles your chest. Stop me, when he closes a fist in your hair and slides you down along his hard length, your chest caving in under your gag reflex, beads of tears like precious shiny diamonds clinging to your lashes. Stop me when he angles your spine backwards with a sudden tug on your hair, when he bands an arm across your belly and ragdolls you to the floor to fuck you harder and deeper. Stop me when he ties your wrists to your ankles with the black zip ties that bite into your flesh.

Stop me with the flat of his hand pressing down between your shoulder blades, Stop me with his thumb teasing your tight ring, Stop me with your legs around his neck.

Those two words, a beacon guiding you through the week that precedes.

Sometimes, when you’re alone, you repeat them to yourself.

“Stop me,” you say, low and quiet, facing the mirror when you're applying makeup, staring straight into your eyes, so intently it twists your reflection.

“Stop me.” A whisper, and a slow-spreading, carnivorous smile that splits your face in two because someone, at last, wants you beyond reason.

Stop me. You will never stop him.

He fucks you twice, three times a night, before he leaves you covered in him, sated and sprawled on the rumpled bed around 2am, with a nod and a husked, “I’ll see you next Friday.” He sounds calm at last. Drained.

Once he’s gone, in the rumbling of the pickup’s engine and the screeching of the tires, your mental countdown to the next Friday is reset. You crouch into the narrow bathtub of dubious cleanliness, and ruefully wash him away in the trickle of hot water. You try to hold on to the thought of him, even more so than to the feeling of his touch. That’s what the soreness is for. It will stay with you until Monday at least.

But in your memory, his face is blurred. Only his sad angry eyes stand out, dreamlike, entrancing.

There's a conflicting distance beyond his hunger. An underlying restraint beyond his roughness. Withheld intimacy. A reluctance to give into your softest touches, when his forehead briefly rests on the plane of your chest, and you circle his neck, or carefully run your fingers through his sweat-soaked curls.

It doesn’t take a PhD in psychology to understand that if he wasn’t in here with you, he’d be somewhere else, doing something worse.

Some weeks, you go through strings of sleepless nights and restless days of anguish, your mind spiraling to the agonizing thought that you are nothing more to him than an empty and interchangeable vessel into which he can fuck his rage.

With masochistic thoroughness, you pull taut a red woolen thread to connect the clues of your insignificance.

He doesn’t name you. There are no sweet names, no terms of endearment, and he certainly never calls you Marion. The sounds he produces when he’s inside you, that’s your reward. Deep guttural grunts, and if you’re lucky enough, they resonate through your whole body when he holds you tight and close.

He never comes inside you. Where do you want it? he pants, when his hips start to fall out of pace. “Mouth,” you quickly answer, always, a greedy match for his gritty ways. And most times, he obliges. Flips you around or scoot over you and shoves his pulsating cock into your warm, wanton mouth.

But sometimes, he doesn’t. The thick pearly white ropes of his spend spurt over your back, your belly, your chest. That’s when he’s got a mind to rub it into your skin. That’s when you want to believe he might have chosen you to be here with him.

In those scarce instances, you are tempted to rely on your instinctual understanding of your relationship. Far from the toxic codependency that, according to Ava, you feed into with Adrian, what you share with Frankie is elsewhere entirely. Week after week, he presents himself before you, visibly wounded, willing to offer exactly as much as he needs to receive. The balance is perfect. No travesty, complete equality. The purest form of interaction. The most honest transaction you’ve ever taken part in.

And thus, no matter how remote he may seem on some nights, no matter how dark his eyes, how clouded his gaze, or how brutal his hold, you can’t help but feel safe.

The feeling thrums underneath your skin and finds an echo in his bloodstream. You hear it in your shared silence, when you lie side by side on the bed and stare emptily at the ceiling, chests heaving, bodies cooling off. When a shiver rakes through you, he gets up and turns off the overhead fan. Walks over to the bathroom to bring you a glass of water.

He’s given you everything you wanted and didn’t know how to ask for.

And when he looks you in the eyes, he doesn’t blink.

Stop me, he says, and what you hear is, Trust me.

He’s been quick to learn your body, and he’s greedy with your highs. He keeps you pinned down onto the threadbare linen with his mouth fastened around your cunt until your legs tremble and your throat is hoarse with your repeated high-pitched moans, the stubble on his cheeks scraping the sensitive skin of your inner thighs. Bestowing pleasure, drinking it right back.

Your body expands into new sensations, after years of a dormant existence, curled up within your outer shell into the tightest ball, the smallest possible shape. You’re spreading, stretching into your limbs, filling them in. Growing nerve endings that shoot farther along your extremities with each fiery kiss, each starving touch, each orgasm, like trees rooting in beautiful, intricate ramifications.

The wild creature nestled between your lungs has a mind of its own. You’re developing emotions unknown to you until now.

The tranquil contentment he leaves you with when he steps back into the night and closes the door behind him rapidly fades over the following days. By Sunday evening, there’s nothing left of it, and you find yourself shivering, deprived of his heat, unsettled, agitated.

Your mind wanders to her. The faceless, nameless woman he drives back to after you’ve fucked each other free of your pain.

Envy, tinged with hatred, pours ugly inside your chest, pressing against your rib cage, hindering your breathing, its heavy particles tainting your oxygen.

Does he handle her with reverence? Does he use sweet names to beckon her into his embrace? Does he spit in her mouth, does she beg him to? Does he rub his spend into her skin, or does he stuff her pussy full of his seed?

Whenever you loosen the grip on your thoughts, you’re brought back to a large reception room on the last floor of another glass prison, stilettos wounding your feet, strangers with empty smiles and cruel eyes drinking from crystal champagne glasses. The excruciating misery of having to interact with Adrian’s colleagues, laughing at golf jokes you did not understand, desperate to fit in. Fighting your survival instinct, to tether yourself and not present a blank stare to those people you were supposed to impress. As Adrian’s fiancée. As your father’s daughter.

The effort seemed worth it, then. You were in love. Or so you thought. In hindsight, you’re not certain anymore. Reinterpreting your past is a temptation you try not to succumb to. In more then one way, you still love him.

There was a hushed tremor in the faceless assembly of tuxedos and cocktail dresses, and you saw her entering the room, parting the crowd. Slender, swaying, lush honey blonde locks and incandescent hazel eyes. Junior partner at Adrian’s firm, quickly climbing the ranks, flawless makeup and oozing self-confidence, she smoked Vogue cigarettes and when your gaze returned to Adrian, everything fell into place. You knew with a chilling certainty that this formidable young woman was fucking your boyfriend.

Adrian had had a couple of flings in the past, but this one was different. He fell for her hard, a grown man in a teenage-like trance. Your blood left your face when you realized everyone else in the penthouse, and most likely in the firm, could see what you were seeing.

You decided then and there that you were never going to marry him, regardless of what he or your father would threaten you with.

But even then, what you had experienced wasn’t jealousy. You’d felt trapped, and yes, betrayed. Wounded, in what little self-esteem you possessed. Thoroughly defeated. But you did not feel jealous.

You understand it now, and every time you think of Frankie’s touch grazing the faceless woman. Every time you torture yourself into considering the nature of their bond and the depth of their attachment.

Would Frankie look at you the way Adrian looked at her? With blunt desire, unabashed, irrepressible thirst? With belonging? Would people around you know? Would they identify you as lovers?

After all, a single glance had been enough for him to take you from a bar, to a parking lot, to a motel. To make you desperate to mean something to him.

Does he miss you outside your shared time? Does he think of you? Does his mind wander to your skin in the blue morning hours, does he try to name your scent?

Deep down, you are no fool. If there’s one thing you’ve always known in this life, it’s your place.

But some Friday nights are more dangerous. They give you too much hope. Prompting you to call your sister, for instance, and risk your little secret so you can spend more time in the small room with the yellow curtains. Wrap yourself in the dirty sheets that bear his musky scent, instead of jumping into the shower. Linger into that breach of your life’s continuum. Extend the delusion.

Last Friday, he buried his face into your core and drew violent waves of release that he kissed back into you, swirling his tongue into your mouth to coat it with your taste.

His face was shiny with your slick and his body glistening with sweat in the soft yellow hues from the bedside lamps, when he got up to the desk and slid his belt out of the loops of his pants.

Your eyes grew wide, but not with fear.

He placed you face down on the bed, with your arms along your chest, and he trapped your body with the belt. You accompanied his movements, docile, curious, without apprehension. The metal buckle was cool on your feverish skin, and the leather smelled like him.

Stop me. He was hard and thick, and he fucked into you in long, thorough strokes, dragging the round tip of his cock along your clenching walls, slamming his hips into the swell of your ass. With his thumb pushing into your asshole and his hand around the belt to keep you where he needed you to lie still.

You came in seismic tides that quaked along your body in concentric ripples, from your wrung out core to the extremities of your fingers and toes. The sound that came out of your throat was unrecognizable, and perhaps it was his. Your mind tipped over into unconsciousness. When you resurfaced, his cock was rubbing in the cleft of your cheeks, his come leaking down the curve of your back, mixing in with your combined sweat, his chest pressing down onto your shoulder blades.

You felt his lips brushing against the shell of your ear, hot breath searing his choked up words into your soul.

“You’re a good girl. Say it. Say you’re a good girl.”

“I’m— I’m—“

“That’s it, say it for me.”

He was lying heavy on top of you, sinking you into the mattress, his belt buckle digging into your side. This was going to leave a mark.

“I’m a good girl.”

“You’re my good girl.”

You will never stop him.

—

Sitting on the edge of the bed, with your back straight and your ankles crossed, you wait. Eyes on the yellow curtains, darting beyond the dusty fabric into the warm December night. It’s yours. All of it. Yours until morning.

There’s the faintest hint of a bad taste sitting on the back of your tongue. Coppery, bloodlike. It comes in waves every time you remember how you twisted your baby sister’s arm into covering for you. But the night is yours. You swallow hard, force a smile. You want to be guiltless, for once.

“Polly says you’re overly secretive. That you like to live ‘hidden between the folds of life’, as she puts it. Something about culpability being a coping mechanism…”

The words, delivered flatly after you’d stubbornly diverted and defused all her questions, had cut through the most tender parts of your flesh.

“Is that her professional opinion?” you had retorted, your chin tilted up as if you were not bleeding inside.

You swallow hard again. If you close your eyes, if you concentrate, you can almost hear it. The pickup’s engine, bolting down the asphalt, bringing him into your needy arms. You can feel the heat radiating from his solid chest and seeping into your body through your palms, resting empty and upwards on your lap. Your tongue tingles with his tangy taste, a trail of goosebumps breaks across your skin, anticipating his caress.

Frankie.

The daydream that carries you through the week, carries you through that very last stretch.

Until the man himself storms into the room like bad weather. Dark, electric, a standing threat.

One look at his face and you know. It’s going to be one of these nights that make you doubt everything.

At first, the change in the script is barely perceptible. There is no gentle acclimatization, no ceremonial, no tacitly shared ritual. He doesn’t face away to let you observe his reflection in the mirror. But he looks like he hasn’t slept since last Friday. The crease in his brow is forbidding, his eyes are too bright, too clouded, circled in black and you’re dizzy with the distance you find there. Tension rolls out from his taut muscles underneath his clothes and you stand up, alert, if not entirely ready.

“Get naked,” he growls, tugging his gray t-shirt over his head, his trucker hat falling to the floor and tonight, you miss your cue.

Instead, you come closer, extending your hands towards him. You call him in a murmur, Frankie, but the wild thumping of his heart under your trembling palms cuts you short.

The light flickers in his eyes, so you hang in brave, hang onto the thread of your touch, sliding your hands up his burning chest. He stills. His gaze focuses on you for the first time since he came in. Your fingertips brush lightly along his collarbone, to the dip at the base of his neck, where they linger, underlining the hollow shape of it, skating around his neck to his nape. His brow shifts, his jaw ticks, and you draw him in for a kiss.

He jolts when your lips meet his. His hands grip your hips, rough and desperate. This is the part where you melt into him, surrender to his touch, but tonight the balance is tipped off. He licks into your mouth with a pained, muffled whimper, and your eyes remain open.

You’re powerless, powerless to get to him and bring him back to you from wherever the hell he may be. And his distance settles between your two bodies, an invisible partition. It stands erect and opaque, projecting its shadow over you when he lies you down on the synthetic quilt and dives between your hips. His ministrations are detached, performative, mechanical. There’s no contained urgency in his handling of you. Empty touches, empty silence, and you orgasm weakly, the sensation floating on the surface of you.

You can sense him, trapped behind his black eyes and this damn crease that splits his face above them, only you can’t reach him. He won’t let you. For every one of your attempts at a caress, at tenderness, is rejected by a shrug, a push of his hand, a shake of his head.

Sweat breaks on his forehead and dampens his curls as he becomes restless, showing none of the familiar signs of the relief he finds in your release, when he hums softly into you, lapping at your entrance to capture what you offer him, what he drew from you. Impatience and desperation roughen his grip on you. He shoves you to the head of the bed and you scramble, sliding on the slippery quilt, curled on your side, until you’re caged between his rigid body and the headboard.

There’s no warning, no Stop me, when he lines himself up with a stifled groan. You bury your face into the pillow and bite down on it to muffle the pain when he splits you open. He starts rutting into you with unrestrained strength, forcing through the vice grip of your tight cunt around his hard length. You try to relax into it. That’s all you ever want, for him to fill you up, to be inside you and around you, but that’s the thing: he’s not touching you. Not really.

Instead of gripping the curve of your hips, or kneading your breast, or lying between your shoulder blades, his hands are clenched on the headboard, white knuckled. His bent knee doesn’t quite touch your folded legs, his hips don’t even slap against the swell of your cheeks.

“Frankie,” you try, but your voice comes out thin as a ripping thread. It’s immediately drowned under the sounds filling the room, the creaking of the bed, his strained breathing.

“Frankie,” you call again, louder this time, reaching to the side to grab his thigh.

He jerks at the contact, sliding out of you with a hiss like you just burned him with a red-hot iron. You grab the side of the headboard to haul yourself up. Behind you, you feel him falling back on his knees. For a few seconds, you can’t bring yourself to move. You remain hunched over, fingers wrapped so tightly on the hardboard, your nails digging into the cheap, tender wood.

“Fuck,” he breathes out, and you turn around to face him.

Your heart sinks and chatters at the sight of him, of his glassy, pleading eyes that won’t meet yours. His chest heaves with exertion, and the weight of something else. He grazes a palm over his face, tilting his head down.

“I hurt you. I fucking hurt you, I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.”

Tonight, this is it. These words are your cue.

“No,” you start, scooting closer to him as he shakes his head, exhausted, isolated. The gesture no longer carries the warning it did as he was about to succumb. It’s a measure of his failure, of the depth of his defeat, and it chills you to the bones.

“No,” you repeat, stronger, and you offer him the only lifeline you know.

Closing the physical distance, you straddle his lap and wrap your arms around his shoulders. When his body stiffens, you harden your hold.

“Frankie… Frankie…” you coo, again and again, like his name holds the solution, and all of your devotion. You say it as you press your forehead to his, as you rub your cheek against his stubble, as you nuzzle the sharp edge of his nose, and trace his plush lips with yours.

Until his shoulders sag under your embrace, until you feel the choked up breath that quakes his chest, you keep repeating his name. A few minutes, or an infinity of seconds, time doesn’t matter anymore. The night is yours, your skins are glued together in the soft yellow light.

His arms circle your waist, hesitant at first, but you encourage him, raking your fingers through his hair, twining them into his soft curls. He lets you, he gives in, tucking his face in the crook of your neck. He inhales you there, raising the soft hair on your nape. His voice is broken when he speaks.

“I’m not–”

“Frankie don’t, please don’t,” you cut in.

You know the words that are piling bitter and desperate on his tongue, know them on an instinctual level. You feel them swirling, black and hopeless inside his head, you’ve known them from the very beginning, recognized them in the sadness of his angry stare. And you won’t let him pronounce them inside this room you share, you won’t let him give them any kind of substantiality. Not between your arms, not against your skin.

“I’m not hurt,” you begin, pulling back to see his face, to look into his eyes and sink your words of hope and faith into him, past the barrier of remorse and regret, “I want everything you–” but his brow furrows deeper as he clenches his eyes shut, and you trail off.

Panic briefly floods your brain. You’re acutely aware of your shortcomings and limitations, of all the things you’ve never been taught growing up. How to translate feelings into words, how to express compassion, how to care for others. How to be heard.

You take a deep, shaky breath, your breasts pushing into his chest.

“Look at me, Frankie baby. Look at me. Let me–”

Let me in. Let me be yours. Let me mean something.

Your plea dies on your tongue when his eyes shoot open. They shine with unshed tears, pierced by a ray of light from the bedside table, and for the first time, you see that they’re not black. They were never black. His eyes are brown, a deep, rich, precious mahogany brown. The color paints your vision, it flows into your bloodstream and courses along your veins. It spreads into your heart, gets tangled in your soul. Around you, the whole world disappears, along with everyone in it. There is only him, his mahogany eyes brimming with tears, and the feeling of his hot, damp skin against yours.

His arms wrap tighter around your back, his warmth seeps into your bones. His hands find purchase on your curves, drawing you closer.

“I want you so badly to be real,” he whispers, quiet and pained, like he can’t ask you this much, but you know that, for him, you’re willing to be.

“I’m so sorry,” he says again.

Swallowing down the tremor in your throat, you give him a tender smile, tinted with gratitude, colored with praise. You cup his face, fingernails scratching at the heart-shaped patch on his jawline. His eyes flicker down to your lips, and you give him what he needs, leaning in to press them to his.

Underneath you, his length throbs with unreleased hunger, and you sway your hips over it. He moans against your lips, the vibration trails down to your core like hot, liquid amber. His tongue peaks out, and you open up for him, like you always have, like you always will. A grating sound comes out of his throat, an echo of your gratitude, a mirror of your pain, a reflection of your loneliness.

He breaks the kiss to lift you up gently, helping you find friction with his cock sliding between your folds, where it pulsates hard and thick against your clit. Your limbs turn to molasses, toffee soft and sticky, but your hips lock into a slow, languid rhythm, slick pooling down on him as you stroke him between your two bodies. His right hand skates up flat along your spine, to settle on your nape.

He draws you in closer, closer than you’ve ever been. His heart beats inside your chest, enveloping the purring wild creature you still can’t name or tame.

“Make us come, baby.”

A dry sob undulates up to your throat. Your eyes fill with hot tears, they spill against his temple. Mahogany explodes inside your brain. The night is yours.

“Yes, Frankie.”

“Make us come together.”

****

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