#avoiding my own schedule rn

[vipercloud]

tas convinced me... i'm gonna come back <3

[callixton]

oh i am on the Brink of a mental breakdown. and like a real one. i am going to feel so so fucking terrible and guilty if i don’t go to the first week of mac rehearsal bc i need to recover but i am also getting the sense that i Need to recover. i have never been this burnt out or genuinely terrified of starting a new semester in my life.

[sugawhaaa]

ATEEZ X READER

Just want attention, fuck this tension

{{Part 1}}

Warnings::SMUT

Genre:: nipple play, teasing, that's about it for now

Pairing::ot8!ateez! X fem!reader

A/N:: Tumblr decided to enrage me and POST THIS EVEN WHEN I TOLD IT NOT TO. So now this is going to be split into two parts 💔 I am so mad rn

You knew what you were doing was quite terrible. This job was almost like a last resort that you managed to get through pretty privilege. You basically kissed your human decency away as soon as you agreed to the job. You were going to be a sex toy for the one and only ateez.

They're all grown men after all but they don't have time to meet women and actually hook up with them. Sure they can often go to clubs but they get tired really quickly from all the partying that comes along with it. They just needed someone they could casually have sex with whenever they wanted and somehow the company agreed to let them pick out a girl to ask. You were that lucky girl and today was your first day as…a whore.

Considering the circumstances you were given a key to access their house and a room of your own to live in. It wasn't much and of course you'd be allowed to leave quite frequently but when night rolled around you were completely and utterly theirs.

You hesitantly stuck the key into the door and pried it open to find the house empty and quiet. You called out softly into the empty room. “Hello?” You step into the entryway and shut the door behind yourself. You put the keys back in your bag and saw a little space where they put all their jackets, shoes, purses, and bags. You slipped off your shoes and set them in the pantry before hanging up your bag. Their house was fancy yet it still held this homey aura. It was calm and cozy but when you got to the kitchen you noticed a pile of dishes that were probably put off for days due to their busy schedules. You decided to put some calm morning music on as you did the dishes for them almost as if to say thank you for letting you into their private life.

Midway through doing the dishes you heard someone stirring away. You had to mentally prepare yourself to talk to them and try not to sound creepy for letting yourself into their house. A tired Hongjoong stepped into the kitchen, startled to see a woman in their house. “Good morning,” you smile with pink cheeks.

“Morning?” Hongjoong chuckled as he walked up to you. “You must be Y/N right?”

“Yes,” your eyes scan his body up and down. “No one answered the door so I thought I'd just…” your words trail off as the embarrassment sinks in.

“I don't blame you,” Hongjoong swished his hand, brushing off your embarrassment. “So, have you done this kind of job before?” He crosses his arms, raising a brow. He wanted to get to know the girl he'd be offering to his members, perhaps even going for a test drive.

“Well not necessarily, I'm not a…virgin but I haven't had many jobs that would include a skill list of these things,” you chuckle and finish rinsing the last dish. “The way the company described it, it didn't seem like I had to have any previous, serious, experience,” you explain as you start drying dishes. Hongjoong seems interested in your words, leaning against the wall and nodding. “It sounds like I'm mainly just to be used…for my body,” you explain, avoiding eye contact. Hongjoong was bare faced, with messy hair and still in his pajamas. This was enough to make any woman fold.

“I see why you would think that,” he starts before walking over to you. “But, I at least, don't think of you like that,” he smiles. “I want to spoil you, I want to care for you,” Hongjoong gently brushes his hand on your shoulder comfortingly. “I want to give you all the attention you deserve,” he brings his hand from your shoulder to your chin, making you look up at him. He smiles softly as he analyzes your features. Then you hear the sound of someone clearing their throat.

“Ya done?” San stands with a mug of coffee and a purple housecoat draped around his body. His hair was also messy, spikey almost, and his bare face was going to make you do backflips. Hongjoong chuckles and turns to San.

“San, meet Y/N. She's the girl I was talking to you about the other day, our little dove,” he pats the back of your head as San walks over to you. It was clear San wasn't fully awake, not in the right headspace, as he analyzed you.

“She's pretty,” he smiles softly before walking off to make some breakfast. As the morning goes on the members all arise, most of them are in similar conditions as the first two. Two of them however wake up full of energy, Wooyoung and Yunho. Wooyoung is over the moon excited to have a girl in their home to hang out with, sexually or not he's excited. Seems like not only Hongjoong was excited to have a girl to watch over. Yunho was nervous at first but he quickly adjusted and got comfortable with you.

Wooyoung was the main one to show you around their humble abode. It wasn't massive but it was homey. On your little tour you finally met Mingi. He was in the washroom with the door half open, brushing his teeth without a shirt and sweatpants. That was something you were going to have to get used to when living with a bunch of 20 year old men. Mingi was unphased, giving you a little smile and wave. You could only blush and wave back. Wooyoung then dragged you down the hall telling you which room was who's and helping you settle into your own room.

Their house was kind of split in two. Furthest to the left you had a hallway with a bathroom and five rooms, one a massive storage room. Then there was the massive living room with beautiful windows. On the other half of the building it was much the same. Five bedrooms, one a guest room, one washroom, the kitchen and dining room. In between both sides was a gaming room or just a place to hang out. Their house wasn't the cleanest you've seen but it was very clean for a kpop group you must admit.

After your encounter with Mingi, Wooyoung took you to the living room with a TV and a very long couch. Wooyoung sat you down, gave you the remote, and asked if he could get you a snack or drink of sorts.

“Give the woman a minute to breathe,” San ruffled Wooyoung's hair, leaning over the back of the couch. You were startled by his sudden voice and turned to look at him.

“Yeah don't worry so much Wooyoung she'll get used to it all,” Jongho said, sitting next to you with a plate of breakfast.

“Dude, how many times do we have to say you shouldn't eat in the living room,” San sighs with a shake of his head. You watch back and forth as the members converse. The members were quite entertaining even when they were just talking like this. Surprisingly the day went on quite normally for them, or at least a normal vacation day for them.

After lunch you went back to the couch and opened your phone. You went to the notes app and started writing down some speculations about each member. Based on the conversation you had with Hongjoong he seems to be leaning toward the dominant type. He's definitely got a possessive side to him and maybe even controlling in some ways. He could potentially have a thing for “daddy” type prompts, but it's definitely not set in stone.

Seonghwa so far is a closed and locked book. You haven't talked much with him and he doesn't even really seem interested in you. Not a good sign, that's for sure considering your job is to make them want you basically.

Yunho was shy at first but quickly got used to you after some small chatter. He is pretty mysterious right now but something tells you he's gonna be an interesting card in bed. He definitely knows what he's doing.

Yeosang is also kind of a mystery. He doesn't talk much which doesn't give you many leads at all. The less a person talks to you, the less you get to grasp their personality and make some guesses on the intimate life. He seems pretty shy and timid which could leave the door open for being dominant with him. Or he could be the type of guy who's all cute and rainbows until they're pounding into you. Once again, he's a mystery.

San is pretty relaxed, a chill vibe flows from him. This could be brought into intimate hours as well. He's probably the type of guy who likes lazy sex or pure intimacy and love. Something deep downs telling you he likes spoiling his girl as well but there's no actual lead to that yet.

Mingi is a wildcard as well. He wasn't shy at all when you saw him half naked but that means nothing about him. You get the vibe from his energy that he's pretty rough in bed, doing all kinds of kinky things but deep down he's gotta have a submissive side. There's no way he can't.

Wooyoung is a gleaming ball of energy when it comes to you. Whether he's excited to fuck you up or be fucked by you is once again a mystery. The first time with him will probably go something like, you touch one part of his bare skin and he'll shatter beneath you.

Jongho seems to not really care much for you either, which is also bad. But you can't ignore the way he acts with you. He may treat you like a big sister most of the day but there were odd times where he'd look your body up and down in a hungry way. He's interesting for sure…

As you type out these notes you feel eyes peering over you and turn to see Mingi intently reading each word. Your face turns red and you shut off your phone. Mingi looks up at you with a frown.

“Hey I just started reading mine,” he pouts and you sigh in relief. How embarrassing would it be if he got to read his own.

“Good,” you retort back and he gasps, over acting way too much.

“Oh you wound me princess,” he puts a hand to his head and you sigh. Mingi chuckles before leaning closer to you again. “So you think Hongjoong has a daddy kink?” He tilts his head and you instantly freeze up.

“W-Well it's just an assumption, I don't know for sure yet. These are all things just to test out,” you explain and Mingi nods.

“Well I can say for sure that Yunho's is pretty damn accurate,” he smiles and looks at the TV. He takes the remote from the side tables and turns it on. “Yunho is a huge flirt when he's alone with someone he likes. From what I've heard and seen he seems to be kinda rough as well,” Mingi informs you as he scrolls through Kdramas.

“Why are you telling me all of this?” You raise an eyebrow as you turn your phone on, writing down all of Mingis comments on Yunho.

“Why not?” Mingi shrugs and you hum. Yup that sounded like a good answer. You turn your phone off and shove it in your pocket. You stand up before turning to Mingi.

“Does it matter which washroom I use?” You chuckle and Mingi shakes his head. You rush to the washroom and try to compose yourself. These men were going to be the death of you. Constantly creeping up on you and blinding you with their good looks. You needed to get a grip, it was your job to be flirted with, used and essentially fucked. You needed to get yourself together. While you wash your hands you look over at their shower. Maybe it'd be a good idea to get a shower and clear your head. You nod to yourself and dry your hands.

When you exit the washroom you look down the hall to Hongjoongs room. You gently peer in with a little knock. Hongjoong looks up at you from his phone. He takes off one headphone before saying “hey Y/N, what's up?” He smiles and you chuckle softly.

“Hey uhm would it be alright if I got a shower?” You smile.

“Of course,” he says as he stands up off his bed, taking off his headphones and leaving them on the bed with his phone. “Here I'll help you get it ready,” he offers and you thank him kindly. He gets you a towel and hangs it up for you before telling you how the shower works. The shower head had three different modes but the temperature handle worked like any other. He shows you the shampoos and conditioners they have that you can borrow. They get a lot of samples of stuff from skincare and haircare places for you to use. He nods before closing the door. “Have fun,” he laughs and you laugh back.

“I'm sure I will,” you smile before undressing. You turn the shower on to test the temperature. Absolutely scorching, perfect. You use the sampler hair products and borrow some of Hongjoong body wash that he said you could use. When you got out of the shower you used the prepared towel and as you dried off your hair the scent of the ateez members filled your lungs. The towel smelt just like them and it made your heart skip a beat. It's a no-brainer that the towel would smell like them, or more so their laundry detergent, but it felt amazing. You felt like a part of their crew now. You dry off and wrap the towel around your body snugly

You turn the shower on to test the temperature. Absolutely scorching, perfect. You use the sampler hair products and borrow some of Hongjoongs body wash that he said you could use. When you got out of the shower you used the prepared towel and as you dried off your hair the scent of the ateez members filled your lungs. The towel smelt just like them and it made your heart skip a beat. It's a no -brainer that the towel would smell like them, or more so their laundry detergent, but it felt amazing. You really felt like a part of their crew now. You dry off and wrap the towel around your body snugly. You collect up your clothes and phone before walking out to your room. When you open the door simultaneously, one of the bedroom doors opens. Yeosang innocently looks at you, his eyes traveling down slightly.

Yeosang chuckles before running off to the kitchen. You brush it off and go to your room. You dry your hair, brush it, put it up and start unloading some more things from your bag. For today you didn't bring much but in time there would be much more in your room. As you unpack the scent of cooking meat fills your nose. It's not long after you hear a knock on your door and Seonghwa creeps the door open.

“Dinner is ready,” he smiles warmly. He was wearing a cozy sweater and his hair was half put up by a claw clip. Strands of his black hair remained in his eyes and face. You thank him and go out to the dining room. San from the kitchen asks you how much and what you'd like.

“We have bulgogi set out on the table but we also have some glass noodles and mandu back here because somebody couldn't choose just one thing to eat tonight,” San scowls at the younger two members. You chuckle and ask for a mix of everything. San comes out with two plates in hand. As he puts the plate in front of you, you can't help but notice his muscles in his tight black shirt. Your eyes linger over his pecs for a moment before he sits down next to you like a smile. You look up at his face with pink cheeks and he playfully raises his eyebrows before digging into his food.

On the other side of you was Wooyoung. You look over at him eating before shifting your gaze over to Seonghwa who was looking right back at you. His chin was tipped down and he looked up at you with hooded eyes. You blush and look away but unbeknownst to you he doesn't. Next to Seonghwa is Hongjoong, eating elegantly but quickly. On the other side of Seonghwa is Yunho, sophisticatedly eating his food as well. You pick up your chopsticks and look down at your food before hesitating.

“Do you not want this?” Wooyoung looks at you with worried eyes, gesturing to your plate.

“No, no I'll eat it, it's fine,” you smile and bring your chopsticks down to your glass noodles, mixing them around.

“Here try some of the mandu,” Wooyoung picks up some Mandu from your plate and holds his hand under it, in case anything spills or he drops it. “Open~” he smiles and you hesitantly do as he asks. You open your mouth and he guides the food into your mouth. Your eyes widen. The flavors dancing on your tongue. “Good right?” He smiles and takes a napkin, wiping your chin and bottom lip from the soy sauce. You nod with a smile and you can feel a gaze piercing your soul from behind you. You swallow your food and go to pick up your glass. San picks up the cup before you can.

“No, no, let me,” he sits up and gently holds your chin, guiding the rim of the cup towards your mouth.

“I-I can do it myself san,” you chuckle with pink cheeks as the members watch the kdrama unfold.

“Stop talking or you'll choke,” San chuckles before bringing the glass to your lips, tipping it up so the water flows into your mouth. He pulls the cup back and lets you swallow. He smiles, satisfied with his competition with Wooyoung. Wooyoung clears his throat before continuing to eat. You look around awkwardly before continuing, the entire time you could feel their eyes on you, especially Seonghwa's. His gaze didn't feel the same though. It felt more predatory.

After finishing eating Wooyoung and Sans antics don't cease, only begging for your attention more. You stay at the table in respect, waiting for the rest to finish. San brings his hand up to your hair, brushing it out of your face. “Your hair is so soft dear,” he smiles and Wooyoung frowns.

“Don't put your hands in her hair, you just finished eating. What if you get soy sauce in her hair?” Wooyoung interrupts your intimate interaction.

“You put your hands all over her face when you were feeding her,” San crosses his arms. Hongjoong groans and leans back in his chair.

“You two stop bickering,” Seonghwa chimes in. “Or take it to another room. Everyone's finished eating now,” Seonghwa says before taking a sip of his water. San and Wooyoung mumble under their breath before parting ways.

“I'm going to workout, you wanna join Y/N?” San leans over the back of his chair as Hongjoong starts collecting up the plates.

“Thank you but I'm good, I need my food to sit for a while,” you smile and put your hand to your stomach. In truth, seeing San in that state might just make you go feral, lose your train of thought and act on impulse. San shrugs and heads to the active room. You help the two eldest members clean up after dinner and as the night grows near you feel butterflies stirring up in your stomach. You needed to talk to them about what they wanted to do to you but how could you casually bring that up? After contemplating for a while you go to Hongjoongs room, knocking on the door as you enter cautiously. “hongjoong? Can we talk for a minute?” You ask and Hongjoong instantly helps you into his room.

“Sure Y/N, come in,” he smiles and guides you to his bed before shutting the door behind you. “What's up?” He asks softly as he sits next to you on his bed.

“Well I have been thinking about plans for tonight,” you explain and Hongjoong nods. “There are many ways we can go about it but…I thought it'd be a good idea if I started with you,” you explain and Hongjoong turns to you, surprised by your offer.

“As honored as I am to be your first out of all the members, I have to say…I think it'd be best if we talked to them first,” he smiles and brings a hand up to your hair. “All of them want you so bad, they can hardly control themselves. Myself included,” Hongjoong laughs.

“Really? Even Seonghwa and Yeosang?” You look at him surprised and he nods.

“Of course, especially Seonghwa. Have you not seen the way he's been looking at you? The poor guy can't keep his eyes to himself,” Hongjoong laughs. “During dinner he kept staring at your chest and lips. When you helped us clean up his eyes were glued to your ass, attentively watching it,” Hongjoong chuckles as he calls out his friend. You blush, shocked to hear such things about seonghwa. “Trust me all of the members are going crazy over you,” he smiles and twists a strand of your hair around his finger. “Why don't we call them all out to the living room and we can talk?” Hongjoong proposes. You nod softly and Hongjoong kisses your cheek before standing up. You're taken aback by the sweet gesture but quickly follow after him.

You eventually get all the members together in the living room and Hongjoong gets the ball rolling for you. “So our little dove here wanted to know what approach you guys wanted to try tonight,” Hongjoong explains as he looks at you. “I know you're all itching to give her all the attention she deserves but we need to be gentle with her at first remember,” he reminds everyone and you blush. They made you feel so delicate and cherished.

“We could start with something simple to ease into it, just start by stripping and getting comfortable with touches and stuff,” Yunho proposes and Hongjoong nods his head.

“That's smart. What do you say Y/N?” Hongjoong turns back to you and you smile with a little nod.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡SMUT♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

“We can start now if you want,” you stand up with a smile. Hongjoong blushes but eagerly agrees. You stand in front of the surprisingly large crowd of men before taking off your shirt, pulling it off your head. Most members have a similar reaction, hungrily watching, except for one. Yeosang sitting on the furthest side of the couch, nibbling on his nail or finger tip while he bounces his knee. His eyes are glued to you but he seems more nervous than the rest. You pull off your socks and unzip your jeans, pulling them down until they pool at your ankles. You step out of them and put your clothes in a small pile on one of the furthest ends of the couch.

“You wanna stop here or keep going?” Jongho asks as you set your clothes near him.

“Let's stay like this for a while,” you chuckle before sitting back on the couch. Their couch was large, definitely enough to fit all of you with a lot of room to spare but suddenly Seonghwa and Hongjoong were sat closer to you than before. The other members all leaned forward to see better and you chuckle softly. “Don't be shy, you can move around to see better if you want,” you chuckle and Jongho instantly does as you suggest, sliding off the couch and sitting in front of your knees. You chuckle softly before feeling a hand come around your back to your waist. You turn and see Honjoong eyeing you up as he strokes your skin.

“Your skin is so soft baby,” he whispers in your ear, making your skin crawl. Seonghwa is suddenly unable to control himself. He leans down and bites your neck, sucking on the soft skin. You let out a small gasp at the feeling of his teeth and mouth on your skin. He begins to roll his tongue around your sensitive skin. Hongjoong is still rubbing your back and waist, searching for a soft spot or a weak point. Jongho just watches intently, watching all of your little reactions. Your eyes flutter shut from the feeling of their hands on you, their bodies pressed against you. You then hear whining. From one of the maknaes.

“Why do you guys always get to go first,” Wooyoung whines. You chuckle as he pouts.

“You can come over Wooyoung,” you smile as you look over at him.

“But where would I touch you? Seonghwa has your neck Hongjoong has the other side of your neck and your torso and Jongho is in the way of everywhere else,” Wooyoung crosses his arms and Jongho scowls at him.

“We'll make room,” you smile as you wave your hand for him to come closer. He Saunters over and you encourage him to sit on your lap. He sits down, embarrassed by how submissive he looks. You kiss his lips softly and he looks at you wide eyed. The two of you make out while you feel numerous sets of hands coursing over your body. You've lost track of whose hands are who's. You feel a hand, most likely Hongjoongs, come up to the back of your bra. He undoes each clip, one by one, giving you time to refuse if you wanted to. Finally all the hooks come undone and your bra loosens off your body. Surprisingly San is the first one to slide it off of your body.

His hands come around from behind you, sliding the silky fabric off your shoulders. He pulls it off your body before throwing it in the pile of clothes. Seonghwa instantly moves his lips from your neck to your chest. He circles his tongue around your nipple, biting it softly, licking all around the plump skin. His right hand comes up to your opposite breast, pinching and sandwiching the nipple between his fingers, occasionally groping the your entire boob as well. This leaves an opening for San to come in and bite at your neck, leaving his own marks before whispering in your ear ever so softly.

“We're going to make you feel so good tonight baby,” he smirks before running his fingers through your hair. You lean back as your eyes flutter shut. So many touches, so many lips, teeth, pinches, it was all so much but it felt like heaven itself.

As the group of them shower you with kisses and attention Yeosang and Yunho sit to the side. Yeosang seems a lot more shy and reserved than Yunho. Yeosang has a pillow brought up to his face, hiding himself, but his eyes are still glued to the scene in front of him. Yunho on the other hand is leaned back as he watches, his erection straining against his pants.

Yunho would hate to be the one to take things too far or move too fast but he can't resist discreetly touching himself through his pants. Yeosang glances down at Yunho but quickly adverts his eyes.

Mingi is on the other side of the couch from Yeosang and Yunho and he is barely keeping himself together, doing very similar things as Yunho except more discreetly. Mingi moves his hips slightly making his erection rub against the inside of his boxers.

You can physically feel the arousal growing in the room. You can taste it, you can feel it, you can hear it, you can smell it.

The group of men surrounding you start getting into as well, their bulges impossible to ignore. The pure lust in the air begins to engulf you, falling into the fantasies, bending to their will. Hongjoong is the first to initiate the real sexual touches. His hand trails down to your panties, gently searching for your clit. He feels the bud and presses down on it, electing a gasp from you. Hongjoong smirks widely knowing he's found the spot but Wooyoung remains in his way. Hongjoong removes his hand before pushing Wooyoungs chest lightly.

"I can't touch her when you're in the way," Hongjoong whines, and Wooyoung reluctantly joins Jongho on the floor. Jongho loves the sight above him, soaking in your lustful scent while watching the way your body squirms beneath the member's touches. Wooyoung on the other hand, not so much. He feels discarded, he wants to be the one touching Y/N, he wants to be the one making her whimper and squirm.

Hongjoong goes back to what he was doing, rubbing up and down your wet folds through your panties. "She's so wet already," he grins. "Look at her~" he cooes and the members are intrigued. Seonghwa is still occupied by your tits and San can't even see your core but Jongho and Wooyoung get a perfect view.

"Damn," Wooyoung says, hypnotized by the wet patch on your panties.

"Spread those little legs baby, show the Maknaes how wet you are for Daddy ~" hongjoong whispers into your ear making your stomach flip upside down and your pussy throb even more than it already was. Mingi catches wave of Hongjoongs words and runs over to you, sitting next to Jongho. to see your wetness, slightly nudging him. Mingi curses under his breath before extending his hand

"Hey we've been waiting patiently this whole time and you just barge in here and start feeling her up?!" Wooyoung whines but Mingi tunes him out entirely.

[yuzurins]

# circles

in which: sae’s tired of running around in circles with an undefined relationship, so he decides to take his chance when he can to make you his.

warnings: kind of unorganized, mentions of alcohol, intoxicated reader, insecure reader, mutual pining, just a bunch of comfort and fluff, honestly strayed from the original prompt t-t

reblogs and interactions are appreciated!

itoshi sae is a busy man.

being the most sought for japanese football player and as well as a regular on the real matrid team meant he was always doing something football related. practices, games, events, you name it.

his schedule is packed with plans set months before they happen. companies and teams always request to see him sooner, but he makes no exceptions for anyone, not even his own family.

well, that goes for anyone but you.

itoshi sae has found himself breaking his own ideals without any hesitation. he‘s standing in front of your apartment, 5 hours, 27 minutes and 54 seconds before his flight back to spain, after an obviously drunk text you sent him 10 minutes ago.

1:22AM

y/n: saweewea

y/n: did u knwo a broken heart hurts REAL bad😍

sae: what

y/n: i think i’m goign to crush my cat with my body weight

y/n: u fg hhh hj jgjjgjhhhrkdoforjfof

sae: where are you rn

y/n: ogm r ru gonna come visit me 😎😜🥺

y/n: i’m soooerirjf lonely

sae: .

sae: be there in 5

sae doesn’t know whether to ring the doorbell or call you to let you know he’s here. heck, he’s not even sure whether you’re at home or not, but he does know that it’s not often you go out to drink. as he’s hesitating, you hastily open the door, almost like you could sense him there.

“sae!” you slur, just barely avoiding stumbling over yourself as you straighten up. “i didn’t expect you to actually come visit me.”

“neither did i.” he scoffs as he takes in your current state: graphic anime tee (which he gave you last christmas), sweatpants, messy tangled bun and your face is entirely red. you reek of soju and he knows better than anyone you’re a lightweight, so sae mentally prepares once more for what he’s about to get himself into.

the response from the magenta haired in front of you causes a pout to form on your face. he’s not quite sure if it’s just his imagination or not, but it looks like you’re more down, more tired than usual.

“are you okay?” he asks, and this prompts you to stretch your arms out, almost habitually, and wrap them around the taller male’s torso.

sae flinches ever so slightly at your touch. he gently pushes you back into the apartment as he closes the door, all while having one arm wrapped around your waist.

it’s obvious you’re not in the right mind space, but as everyone says, drunk words are sober thoughts, though sae doesn’t know whether that’s good or bad. you getting blackout drunk as a result of academic stress has become a monthly occurrence now, and it always ends up with sae coming over to babysit you. he’s more than aware of the fact that you’re taking his presence for granted, yet despite that, he’s still always there for you.

you’re obviously more than just friends, so why does sae feel like the line separating friendship and relationship just keeps getting thicker?

you latch onto him like a koala as he shuffles over to your couch. he doesn’t force anything out of you, doesn’t show any impatience, and just waits for you to talk.

the two of you quietly bask in the comfort of each other’s arms for a long time. just as sae begins to loosen his hold on you believing you’ve drifted off, you cling onto him even tighter, refusing to let go of his warmth.

“don’t go.” you mumble into his hoodie, voice quivering, and sae wonders if it really is school stress that’s made you this way.

humming in response, he pats your back lightly as if he’s caring for a baby, trailing his hand up to your head to play with your hair.

sae doesn’t want to pry, but there’s something he really needs to confirm before it eats his thoughts up even more.

“i won’t leave,” he reassures. “did anything happen?”

a sound comes out of your mouth in response, barely louder than a whisper. sae turns his head to look at you and you take it as a request for you to repeat your words. you try again, and this time, you’re still mumbling, but it’s enough for him to make out what you want to convey.

“i’m sorry.” and a tear falls from your eyes, “i’m sorry, sae.”

now sae’s been in this position for countless times, always coming to be your personal therapist at unearthly hours in the night, but this is the first time he’s ever seen you act so vulnerable. he can feel your body trembling against him and his heart aches just seeing you so dejected.

but he’s not dense enough to not realize what you’re apologizing for, because it’s the same reason as to why he decided to ask in the first place. he gently removes his arms off your waist, turns you to face him and moves his hand up to wipe the tears streaming down your cheek.

this tender, silent exchange between the two of you is more than any amount of words that express. sae’s usually indifferent eyes are laced with affection, and you just can’t help but feel so guilty because of that.

“i know you’re really busy,” you avert your eyes, biting on your bottom lip to stop yourself from breaking again. “you’re always doing so much for me, and i feel so terrible because i don’t deserve any of it.”

sae doesn’t say anything, letting you finish your thoughts before stating his.

“i was watching one of your games earlier, and i was reminded of the fact that your world and mine are so far apart.” you’re still looking away, but a soft nudge from sae’s hand pushes you back to look at him. “i just—i feel like i’m not enough for you, sae.”

through watered eyes, you can catch the expression of the male in front of you waver, and with years of knowing him, you’ve mastered the ability to be able to tell what emotions are going off in his mind.

“i know it sounds silly—“

“it’s not silly.” he interrupts, despite being patient all this time, but struggles to find the right words to continue. “is this what you’ve been feeling since back then?”

you shake your head, and lean forward to rest it on his shoulder. “the internet is scary.”

sae lets out a soft chuckle at your unintentional joke, and moves his head to rest it on the side of yours. “but what only matters is that i’m here in front of you right now, yeah?”

“it’s true that i’m busy, but i’ll always be your anchor of support whenever you need it, seriously.” his fingers find their way to intertwine with yours, and your heart flutters at how romantic he’s being. “so don’t cry sweetheart, because you’re breaking my heart as well.”

the use of the pet name makes you giggle, it being so out of character for sae, yet that’s how you know he really means it, from the bottom of his heart. hearing the sound of your laughter allows sae to relax his shoulder from all the tension he unknowingly had been feeling, and he cups your cheek with his palm, bringing you face-to-face with the taller male.

his eyes study your features, taking in your beauty, before going back to make eye contact with you. though you notice how they flicker down to your lips and hover there for a split second longer than anything else, your heart thumping loudly at the realization of what he’s asking of you.

you flash him a small smile in response as approval, and sae wastes no time closing the distance between you two. his touch is soft, almost like he’s afraid of breaking you, and easily washes away all the worries clouding your mind.

sae droops his arms over your shoulders and rests his forehead against yours. “you were always and will be more than enough for me, y/n.”

his sweet words bring a red flush to your face (not from alcohol this time) and you purse your lips in embarrassment as sae’s grin only gets bigger.

“so just hurry up and be mine already.”

BONUS: the morning after

you wake up with a pounding headache, and immediately try to get up to get a drink of water, but your body doesn’t budge at all.

as your eyes begin to adjust, you look down to find sae and his arms locked around you, causing a scoff to come out of your mouth.

of course you couldn’t move when a whole professional football player (incredibly fit btw😍) has a death grip on you.

“sae, wake up.” you nudge him and he only whines in response. “didn’t you have a flight to catch this morning?”

“mm, shush.” he takes one of his arms and lightly pushes you back down into his embrace. “who cares about that, been waiting for this for far too long.”

you laugh and decide to give in, slowly drifting back to sleep.

meanwhile, sae’s nonstop vibrating phone on your nightstand is totally unnoticed, the cause being hundreds of messages and calls from his manager wondering where he is.

[oxygenbefore1775]

am i wrong giving my all making you stay tonight

➥zeke x fem!reader

➥tags: canonverse, the year is 850 just before zeke is deployed to paradis

➥cw: major mentions of hatred towards eldians, star-crossed lovers and forbidden relationship trope, zeke is a narcissist and a dick here, the reader is also not that nice tbh, twisted marriage proposal and all that comes with it, zeke has some morbid fascination with his death, derogatory treatment from zeke (it's hella toxic); nsfw! (mdni) but it's at the very end so don't hesitate to scroll all the way down if you wanna skip all the explanation to them fucking, rough fucking, man handling, prone bone, kinda dacryphillia, talking during sex, one instance of hair tuggung

➥wc: 8.4k — no beta we die like my sleep schedule while writing this

➥summary: the night zeke tells you about his upcoming mission on paradis doesn't go without its consequences.

➥a/n: so i have this huge-ass zeke fic that i'm writing in my mother-tongue and because i'm sooo original w my content on tumblr rn i'm just gonna translate some parts of it here with some alterations - prepare for some incoherent shit, i warned you, that's like the most delulu zeke i have ever written

He is not to be trusted.

There's a deceit lacing his each word.

Cold and cunning, he was nonetheless charming. You would be lying if you denied the scorching languor that the ice of his blue eyes kindled in you.

Fleeting sentiments filled your mind in his presence, renderring you deaf and numb to your own thoughts. Not to mention his words, their poison failing to fill your absent body as you often lost the thread of the conversation. A lopsided grin curled his lips whenever you found yourself confused and unable to answer his simplest of questions, yet again, your thoughts a molten and twisted mass. You knew no end to his teasing for your frivoulness that he elicited from you with naught but a look.

Who were you, compared to the War Chief Yeager? Neither wits nor status was on your side to rebuke his taunts. Courage was failing you, fleeing at the mere sight of the red gracing his left arm. Retaliatory jabs never landed, the harsh words melted at the tip of your tongue before ever reaching him. How he reveled in seeing you like this, feeble and helpless. Just some stupid Eldian girl, that's what you were in his eyes. Unfit to be by his side.

And yet, he yearned for it nonetheless. Otherwise there was no other explaination to the slight arrogance bleeding into the way he spoke to you, leaving no other interpretation but that of a hunter taunting a mortally wounded beast. A whim, display of power, oversaturated and evident.

Occasionally he would condescend to your polite and humble requests, presenting them in a way that painted him as virtuous, as if you should be overflowing with gratitude and praises for his mere consideration of your proposals. He, however, never stooped to an open request himself, whether it be willful ignorance or inability to put thoughs into words. In such cases you were left to rely blindly on your own insight, forced to navigate through the murky water of his genuine intentions.

But witnessing this facade of complacency that masked his features most of the time disappear never failed to amuse you. How easily it could be shattered with a simle act — merely increasing the distance between you by a few steps during your routine strolls or better yet vanishing entirely from his line of sight amidst the crowd. That's all it took for the cold arrogance to crumble away and give way to a barely palpable unrest as he sought to bridge the unfavourably long gap that had grown between you unbeknownst to him. Not too close, though, being wary of avoiding the contact between your bodies.

The game he played to you was cruel yet he persisted in subjecting you to it, time after time. The true nature of his motives eluded you. The shadow of pleasure he took in poisoning your thoughts was hard to deny. Until he inhibits you whole, there would be no stopping to the suffocating hold over you. You were keep falling victim of this, though, the torment gnawing at your body and mind.

His unbroken gaze was the image etched in your memory for eternity. As well as the burning need to keep you near, by his side. Like you not staying at his apartment for the night could cost him his sleep. Like not laying his eyes one you could cost him his peace.

He remained oblivious to the fact that you noticed all of this. How could he possibly entertain those suspicions? A stupid Eldian girl would never. And still...

His gait lacked definition for someone who got the military drills beaten into him from the young age. Strange — even the deepest of thoughts usually failed to lure out a reaction from his body. Always static and phlegmatical, now he paced up and down the room, forgetting you were here in this room with him altogether.

With quick glances, you attempted to read his expression whenever he would pass your form curled up on the couch, and all in vain. His features remained an unpenetrable mask robbed of any emotion. Maybe it was the coffee. Shifting your gaze to the table covered with dirty mugs, your assumption had some reasoning behind it but you quickly brushed it off. He'd been like that long before resorting to the caffein.

Hesitation coursed through your every movement as you struggled to come up with a proper reaction. As intriguing as it was to find out what exactly had been plaguing the mind of steadfast War Chief, you couldn't muster up the insolence of striking up a conversation first. Who were you to inquire, anyway.

"One could hear your thoughts from a mile away."

His voice shook the cushioned silence of the room, bearing the same shadow of amusement he usually graced your way, as if the last hours weren't filled with restless pacing. Looking up to meet his gaze, a spark of amusement melted the cold of his eyes. The chance to divert his churning thoughts towards such a trivial remark seemed to bring him a little relief.

He prompted you with a quirk of his brow. "Speak what is it you have on your mind, or else you might burst."

There was that grin again, dark and painting his features in shadows. You shifted on the couch, nails digging into the flesh of your palm. At this point, each word you were going to say hardly veiled any obscurity since he'd already knew the nature of her question. He liked being proven right.

"Nothing really," your voice lacked the lively rebuke that usually sounded in your constant bickering back and forth, his unrest had seemed to rub off onto you as well. "You just seem off."

Your overtly careful choice of words elicited his soft chuckle. For a few moments he looked down on you, pondering just how much of information he should tell you. If he should tell you. After all, it was the knowledge not meant for the likes of you, civilians.

The light-hearted tone of his voice bore a stark contrast to the atmosphere and the words he was saying. "They're sending me to the island." His lips pressed into a thin bloodless line once he fell silent, his unbroken gaze on your face.

A deep line etched between your eyebrows. Still puzzled, you looked up at him searching for some sort of visual purchase.

The island of devils — any warrior would be elated at the prospect of proving their worth to Marley in battling the spawns of Paradis. Yet this sense of pride never captivated Zeke. More than anything, frustration seemed to have bled into his fair features.

Question, perhaps stupid in its naivete, plagued you so you let it leap off of your tongue. "Is this good or bad news?"

"And what do you think?" He retorted, pained playfullness still lingering in his voice. "When you send four Titans to an important mission and this is followed by five years of silence, how good can those news be?"

The air in the room became thick with smoke and smell of tobacco — Zeke must've lit a cigarette without you noticing. Your nose wrinkling, you slid to the other side of the couch where the gray thick cloud couldn't reach you. Uncanny thoughts soon started festering in your mind.

You cringed at your own way of thinking yet you couldn't help but to ask once more. "Are you—" unflattering crack snaked its way into your voice. "Is it going to be for a long time?"

He must've found your seeming worry endearing. His shoulders trembled in a fit of silent laughter, taking amusement in you. Like a pet who suddenly pulled a trick unbefitting of their intelligence. Artificial light cast dark shadows on his face as he neared the kitchen table, taking a sip from one of the half-empty mugs.

"I can only imagine." He stole a gaze at you, eager to capture the row of fleeting emotion painting your features. "Those four must've done a gravely mistake and now fear to face the punishment or died a long time ago. Now they expect me to clean up after them." Benevolent grin tugged at the corners of his lips. "Warrior children, what a joke to Marley's army."

You shunned the way you had received the news. The insolence to fear, to assume the worst when you'd come to imagine him away on his mission was unacceptable of you, stupid Eldian girl. Your mind shouldn't be a harbor for such doubts. Zeke Yeager is a powerful warrior, the strongest in the unit. The red armband akin to the blood he'd spilt as an honorary Marleyan, a testament to hsi long service for the country. The island devils would be a little challenge for someone like him as his strength a prowess doomed him to imminent success. Your eyelashes fluttered as you sought solace in embrace of your arms, hiding your face in between your knees, away from his piercing stare. And yet you had the worries and you let them slowly eat away at you.

A temper tantrum would hardly influence Marley's decision and rid you of your predicament, but it didn't make you backtrack on your blind desire nonetheless. And he'd be thrilled to see your tears, especially if he was the cause of them.

Solitude started to weigh over your head like a dark stormy cloud. To be apart for such a long time rang so foreign to you. Foreign and cruel. Being at Yeager's side bore its benefits which you didn't hesitate to reap and now that the threat of those upsides being ripped away from you hung in the air, you felt... annoyed. You smiled to yourself at the fact that you'd finally been able to pin down your emotion. Annoyed sounded about right. And nothing else.

Noticing your downcast look, he decided to seal off your state with another barbed remark. "Spare Liberio your distraught sentiments. You weren't supposed to know about this in the first place. And I'd like to keep it that way in the eyes of the other people."

The ice in his gaze was persistent as he locked eyes with you. Not persistent enough to prevent the lopsided grin from twisting your lips.

In a fit of distorted glee, you inquired, your voice barely above whisper, "Why did you tell me about this then?" The words dripped with a mix of curiosity and spite, as if you had unraveled a hidden agenda beneath his carefully constructed facade. Your eyes bore into his, searching for a glimpse of vulnerability or truth amidst the web of deceit that surrounded him.

He was never easy to nail down so you didn't believe your luck when you caught a glimpse of emotion, as weak and light as the candle's flame, flicker in his eyes. And you didn't care for the nature of it — be it the amazement at the precision of your question or the anger with your insolence — it pleased you as long as it wasn't the usual cold spite. You found comfort in the knowledge that he, just like you, may be subservient to something other than his logic. That you're not the only one affected by the news of departure. The satisfaction was short-lived though as his features quickly acquired the same expression as before, a blank canvas you couldn't read.

The nicotine must've cleared his senses seeing as he scoffed at you in a condescending rebuke. "So that you won't make any fuss once you find the house empty." His hand reached to rest under your chin but you didn't accept the gesture, turning your head the other way. Stubborn behavior befitting the image of a stupid Eldian girl he painted you as in his mind. "It's still very much a secret mission so only limited number of people are allowed to know."

His touch rejected, he returned to the table, from which he continued keeping his unwavering gaze on you.

Did his remark suggest that his family was included in this selected group? Meaning, he went out of his way just to tell you? And for what? For you not to worry? Watching him form the corner of your eye, you couldn't help but to adore the stark discrepancy between his words and actions.

"I'll consider this your act of courtesy towards me." You shot back meekly, the tone of your voice suddenly growing more humble. At least you would have the satisfaction of having last word even if it meant resorting to your obsequious self.

Now, after a cigarette or two, he appeared utterly unfazed as if he weren't gambling with his own life by venturing onto the island of devils. When it came to his life, he never seemed to hold it at great value. You were the one to do it in his stead.

Curiosity took the better of you as you turned your head to face him, a hint of concern seeping through your facade. "How dangerous will it be? If the other Warriors had been on the island for five years, then those devils must be strong enough to pose a threat." You couldn't help but shudder at the thought of the mission potentially stretching beyond five years for Zeke. As capable and talented as he was, five years to his life were something that he just didn't have.

Zeke leaned back in his chair, the lazy twirling of smoke rising up out of his cigarette in contrast to the sharpness of the sneer that quickly appeared in the depths of his eyes. "For someone so uninvolved in the military campagns of Marley you seem to have too many questions about this mission. What's with the constant inquiries?" His words dripping with misleading benevolence.

His question momentarily silenced the room, knocking the air out of your lungs. Perhaps you indeed asked too many questions for someone of your station, someone who's supposed to be in a strictly comradely relationship with Zeke. You felt the tension growing more palpable the longer you kept him waiting. The glint in his eyes spoke volumes, a mix of amusement and knowing, hinting at the fact that he'd already got himself a satisfactory answer to his own inquiry. Part of you sensed that he'd guessed it right.

Nonetheless, you rushed to state the opposite in a futile attempt to undermine his own conclusion. "I think it's only logical of any Eldian to take interest in this mission." You pursed your lips before speaking again, feeling how artificial your words sounded leaping off your tongue. "The fate of the whole world depends on its outcome, does it not?"

At this point you'd grown too weary of him, his presence already intoxicating as it is. Why'd he brought you into his house? Just to tell you about his leave, take joy in seeing you shedding a shred of worry towards him but to mock you later for expressing those? Your drilled, bordering on automatic, response didn't win any favour with him yet managed to amuse him to some extent, evident in the way a mischevious grin split his face as he stood up from his chair.

His steps rang louder and louder with him approaching the couch you were sitting on. You let out a relieved sigh, cradling the hope that he'll finally grant you with leave, having had his share of playing games with you.

His eyes told otherwise. "No." He simply shook his head, denying you the last opportunity to leave his house. "I'll argue that there's more to it."

With that, his voice took on more sweetness that he usually allowed himself whilst talking to you which surprised you. At this point of your conversation he'd usually stoop down to tasteful taunts, a stark contrast to the moderation he was currently excercising, making your mind teem with thoughts.

"All the correspondence is forbidden for the Marleyan warriors whilst on the mission. Were you aware of that?" Still lacking a full comprehension of his motives, you nodded your head, your eyes big and doe-like. Nonetheless, he accepted your curt response, elusive benevolence seeping through his features. "Not if it's meant for the close family members, though. Also honorary Marleyans, like me. On that front Marley had been exceptionally allowing."

Again with the obscureness, as if expressing his thoughts in straight sentences would rob him of his last breath. Still, you continued to look at him, your eyes fixated on the enigma that was the fleeting chain of emotions lacing his features. The tips of your ears burning, the supressed frustration at having to sit here and listen to him welled up inside you. His monologue had just took off yet he was already dousing you with mental excercises you were unwilling to solve at this late hour.

Feather-light touch grazed against your temple, his fingers tucking an unruly strand behind your ear, bringing you back to the sound of his musings. "Wouldn't you be worried not knowing about my whereabouts on the Paradis?"

You rushed to deny his groundless assumptions but you found your lips too heavy to utter a word. Thus, he continued, a sliver of benevolent amusement in his tone. "Who knows, perhaps I would be captured or even killed and you would have no idea of my fate?"

The words sounded strange coming from him. He never paid any mind to the morbid consequences that may happen to him whilst on a mission and now that he was shedding light to it in front of you, it filled you with more confusion.

Still, you leaned in closer, intrigued by this newly discovered oddity of his, wanting to her what else he had to say.

"Aren't you?" He called out to you yet there wasn't a hint of condescention to his voice. As if he genuinely took interest in your answer, waiting for you to respond.

And you did answer, with a shallow "yes" whispered in the room. Usually you refrained from such vulnerability as this was often followed with barbed taunts, punishing you for the display of affection to someone as unfeasible as him. But this time, he seemed to had welcomed it.

The spark in his eyes was warm, an exception of his facade you rarely got to see. "Well, I just might help you to get rid of your worries. Would you like that?" You let him touch under your chin, lifting your gaze to see his.

In that moment, the fog of confusion clouding your mind began to lift, revealing glimpses of his true nature. Your eyes widened in surprise as you finally captured what was lurking behind the blue irises. He captured your gaze, too, as well as the sudden recognition, hence the smile, soft and warm, melting the curve of his lips as he opened his mouth to speak. You didn't have to listen to him to know what he was about to say yet it didn't substract from the surrealism of the situation.

"Be my wife."

Out of all the blows, this was by far the most cruel and perverted. The idea seemed too far-fetched, too out of reach for it to have any meaning behind it. You had grown accustomed to his teasing, his banter and the way he seemed to enjoy keeping you on your toes. Can this be another one of his games? Another way to rattle your composure?

Your gaze quickly turned skeptical. You couldn't risk remaining vulnerable in his presence and at this moment. You kept waiting for the mask of pretense to slide right off his face, for him to announce that he had indeed tried to trick you. Yet it stayed all the same, as if the expression was genuine, eyes brimming with inviting warmth like before. Still, doubt lingered within you.

Why should this day be a precedence? An upcoming operation on Paradis couldn't possibly cause this shift inside him. He'd been on other missions before and never before had his unwavering level-headedness left him.

He is not to be trusted. The words that were still echoing in your head are not to be trusted. The mantra sealing your lips, you tried to ward off the terrible temptation to give into what he was saying. He wouldn't hesitate to drag you through the mud if he finds out that you'd fallen prey to his words.

"You can't mean that." It was your final verdict. If he wasn't the one to aknowledge it then you had to be.

The smile on his lips gave way to a lopsided grin, as if your response didn't come as surprise to him. So it had been a game after all, you mused as you allowed yourself a mental praise for your own foresight.

"But I can." The rebuke remaining soft, he kept looking at you, waiting for your eyes to meet again.

It was of no use to you, though. All that you would see in the icy pools would be either that inviting warmth again or a blind wall. And neither of those would cast any light on what had been truly driving his actions all along.

The air felt silent and still. This — all of this — wasn't happenning to you. No night being spent at his house, no awkward pause between you two, no twisted words of proposal. It was all too much for the likes of you, common Eldian girl.

Regardless of your thoughts, he rushed to crush them, bringing you to the undeniable and inevitable reality.

He called out to you again, "So what?" the grin that seemed to appear on his features so often suddenly faded. "Will you be my wife?" You could only chuckle at his courtesy to having finally asked you, instead of bluntly stating his wishes.

With that, he sanked down on the sofa cushions, sitting next to her. The knowledge of his taunts, sometimes ruthless in their nature, implored you to momentarily refrain from answering his question and allowing him to continue, instead. The sincerity had no place in the words he was directing towards you. His statements were not to be held at face value, you had to remind yourself.

Nevertheless, you succumbed to the temptation that had been gnawing at you for a long time as you let your head fall onto his shoulder, the precise movement leaving no room for interpretation of your intentionall gesture. He would be hardly angry with you for such a display of weakness. Quite on the contrary, as your begrudgent vulnerability flattered him immensly.

The weight of the gone day suddenly crushed over you in waves, robbing you of any strength. "A lovely young captain's wife." The saccharine in his tone started to taste bitter. "Mrs. Yeager who would wait for her husband to return from military operations, her body and and soul devoted to him only. Who would meet me with joy and every evening after a working day take off my boots for me."

Wrinkling your nose, you otherwise didn't let your momentary disgust become apparent to him via your posture.

Alerted by your silence, he turned his head in your direction. His breath, hot and tart with tobacco, seared your face. "What do you say?"

Wife. The time had long come for you to forget this word. At this moment and in your position, it was an unthinkable thing for you. Who were you in comparison to the prized asset that Zeke was to the country? He was also no exception, even if the red armband signified otherwise. Bound by his service to Marley, he would never be allowed to dedicate even a sliver of his attention to something not pertaining to his warrior duty.

But on rare occasions you granted yourself the indulgence but also the freedom to your own dreams and you intended to do it today as well. Even if it was the first time for you to voice your hidden desires to someone else, let alone someone who figured in your dreams so often.

The warmth slid along her thigh where he ran his palm across your skin in a thoughtless caress, his touch radiating with heat. Just as thoughtlessly, you caught his movement, taking two of his fingers into your palm.

Being an Eldian in an internment zone, your fate had been sealed long ago yet you found comfort in the knowledge. With your future set in stone, you had all the freedom to fantasize about your chimerical impossible life.

Soon enough you started speaking, your words bearing the same bliss that his were. "Then your huge bath would be all mine and I would bathe in it every day. Definitely with bubbles. And you wouldn't be able to tell me anything against it."

Your ears caught a faint chuckle escaping his lips, accompanied by a subtle exhale.

The prospect of sharing a life with the captain held an irresistible allure. Despite all the taunts lacing his words, a grain of truth resonated within them. This was perhaps the best outcome an Eldian from the internment zone such as yourself could ever hope for. A sharp-tongued and occasionally unbearable husband aside, the advantages of such a union far outweighed the disadvatages. As the capitan of the warrior unit, his duties would often take him outside of Liberio, leaving you to revel in the opulence of your home for many days and even weeks to come.

Contrary to his words though, you would hardly harbour any sentiments over him not being by your side as he had teasingly described to you. Your heart would be unlikely to languish in lamenting the frequent separation, seeing as the luxury of your home would occupy your whole mind, sparing not a single thought for your warrior husband. Even in your sweetest dreams the love that typically exists between the spouses was conspicuously absent in your marriage. Such an emotion was barred for the two of you, as you remained essentially strangers to one another.

Your eyes dropped to the entanglement of your fingers from which he was in no hurry to free himself.

You started to forget yourself, as the most sincere of words weighed heavy on the tip of your tongue. "But also the coffee that you would brew every morning. I really like it."

His lips momentarily twitched, as if your timid praide had either amused or touched him.

A casual impudence found its way into his retort. "Oh no. After I get married I won't go into the kitchen at all so it will all be the responsibility of Mrs. Yeager." He dragged out the last words a little. "I don't want a wife who can't even make me coffee."

The warmth of his body enveloping you, you pulled your knees to your chest and settled into the comfort of your position. Usually, neither of you was insolent enough to seek proximity in each other's presence in this way. Besides sex, your bodies rarely touched, but at this moment it was all too tempting to mind your self-restraint. And yet, your move didn't provoke irritation in him. Instead, it seemed to have awakened a temporary surge of affection within him. He even opened his arms wider, as if embracing you more deeply. However, you couldn't ignore the subtle stiffness in his gestures, a reminder of the hopeless underlying truth about your relationship. You two were far from being a married couple and the likelihood of you ever becoming spouses seemed increasingly remote.

Possible or not, the illusion was sweet enough to numb the cynicism of your predicament.

Yet another breath of his scorched the shell of your ear. "But will you teach me? How to make coffee?" Your inquiry laced with naive politeness, you smiled as you felt his chest, a barely audible hum rumbling the air. "Will my husband have any other expectations of his poor tireless wife?"

In a feigned attempt to challenge him, your palm closed around his fingers even tighter, as if she wanted to attract even more of his attention to her.

This ploy of yours appeared to be succesfull, seeing as his hold of you grew closer. "Your husband would like you to spoil him with your cooking every day." He said with a soft chuckle. "Not that I have tried your food but that is all trivial. My regeneration can withstand the effects of any poison so your cooking would hardly deal any damage to me, no matter how disgusting it may be."

You fell silent at the lack of a proper rebuke, letting yourself get lost in this moment that you doubted you would see again any time soon.

And you were proven right. Just as you began to embrace the newfound comfort of your position, your hopes to have this moment last a bit longer were swiftly shattered. The warmth in his voice dissipated, replaced by a chilling tone as he leaned in to whisper into your ear. "Why deceive yourself?" His words dripped with cold determination. "I know all too well why someone like you would like to meddle with someone like me."

With no further explanation, he presented you with his armband, bright red fabric carelessly thrown onto your hand. The shift in his disposition was so sudden that you took a second to even register the feel of rough cloth against the skin of your palm. Disturbed by the intrusive nature of his inquiry, you tried to pry yourself away from him yet he didn't let you, his fingers finding their place under your chin to turn your face to him. The pools of his blue eyes were colder than ever, studying your expression, not losing sight of each fleeting emotion painting your features, as if the silent observation would provide him with more answers instead of just asking you directly.

Yet you didn't feel fear. In all the time that you had known each other, he never gave you the reason to be afraid around him. This surely had to be attributed to his charms since his each action, no matter how twisted or condescending, held a certain allure over you. Even now as you were pinned down in your place and forced to continuosly look back at him, all you could feel was frustration welling up inside you.

Your exasparetion started to overflow, evident in the way your brows knitted together. "You're hurting my neck," you voiced your discontent in a soft manner, only to be met with his unamuzed gaze.

He only got closer to you, your bodies pressing up against each other, his lips so near to yours that your mouth began to water at the bitter taste of tobacco dancing on your tongue.

Your protests were heeded, and he released his hold on your chin, seemingly satisfied with gazing at you. Another whisper, hot and sibilant, flowed into your ear. "It was hard not to notice, you stared at it too often." Instinctively, your hand tightened its grip on the red fabric, drawing it closer to your chest. "But I can understand your fascination with that thing. What is it that you want exactly?"

Considering all his past actions, his question sounded almost too caring, too soft and too thoughtful for someone like him. Were you a bit more perceptive in that moment, perhaps you would have been touched by his genuine interest but instead you couldn't help but to feel exposed. Maybe you did stare at it too much, as hardly a conversation with him went by without your excessive attention being drawn to some piece of fabric instead of the person it belonged to. You hoped that he hadn't been awake during the nights when you dared to harbor enough insolence to take the armband from his nightstand and pose with it in front of the mirror, the reflections of you with a red ring circling your left arm looking so dreamy and beautiful.

Hardly any Eldian in the internment zone didn't want to be an honorary Marleyan, and you were no exception. In fact, you were the most trivial showcase of this bold desire. It can give you a better life and safety and freedom, most of all. Freedom to go beyond the stone walls of the internment zone, even if for just a while.

In all your life you never came to think that the armband could be attained through the means Zeke had proposed to you not so long ago.

You were thankful to him for still keeping his composure. At least one of you had to. "So what is it? Everything, I assume?" You felt his breath hitch as soon as you answered with a curt nod. "Then everything it is. And I will give it to you."

The right words were coming hard to you yet you couldn't wait any longer to voice them. Pulling away, you finally put some distance between you two, finally free from his suffocating warmth. "Are you hearing yourself right now?"

Your attempts to reason with him were quickly put to rest with a single gaze he graced your way. The intensity in his eyes made your words falter on your lips, as a knowing smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth. "Right now, each of my word has weight so listen to me while I'm still talking."

Surprisingly, it worked. But it wasn't for his concise argument but rather the oddly familiar expression in the depths of his eyes. As you gazed deeper into those pools of blue, you saw a reflection of your own yearnings, a crack in his flawless facade. A pained smile bent your lips as you reveled in the realization that Zeke had given way to the same sentiments as you. And you thought once that he was insusceptible to this. A dark chuckle escaping your lips, the gravity of your predicament started to set in. Fools, both of you.

In a haste you took off his glasses before kissing him. You didn't want the metal frame to poke you in the eye again should the angle be not right.

His lips felt dry against yours, the tart taste of tobacco doing little to prevent you from sliding your tongue into his mouth. He smiled into the kiss as he felt you settling back into his embrace, the cushions collapsing under the collective weight of your bodies.

Your aggressive initiative was a welcome dynamic, with you quickly straddling his lap as he was left to take in the feel of your body. The coil in your stomach began to wind up with each painstakingly slow movement of your hips. The sloppy sounds of kissing rang loud in the room, interrupted only with your breathy whimpers whenever you grazed your sweet spot.

It took him all his strength to pull away, fake and long-soiled paragon of self-restraint lacing his tone when he spoke to you. "The couch would be too narrow for this." The voice barely above whisper.

With that, he grabbed you under your knees, drawing your legs closer to his body for a better purchase. Instinctively, you wrapped your hands around his neck and leaned into his chest so you wouldn't fall when he picked you up. His fingers sank into the pillowy flesh of your thighs as he carried you into the bedroom, your body barely a burden for him. A curt laughter rose from your chest and got lost in the tussels of his fair hair. You hadn't thought him to be so strong outside of his Titan form.

The springs of the mattress wailed as he let go of you, initiating your short fall. He looked down on you, his movements suddenly lacking resolve but his eyes still transfixed on your form. Reluctant to give any more thought to the ponderings teeming his mind, you didn't intend on waiting idly for him to join you. In the growing heat of the room your clothes became a nuisance, just another one of the barriers standing between you two.

Your fingers untypically spry for the state that you were in, you reached for the rows of buttons on your clothes, unburdening yourself layer by layer all the while watching him watch you.

Evidently, the sight of your naked form helped him come to his senses quickly as he stepped closer to the edge of the bed. In a bout of anticipation coursing through your veins you extended your arms towards him in an alluring invitation, starving to taste the tobacco on your tongue again.

All the same dark grin of his told otherwise. Instead of granting you the satisfaction of having his mouth on yours, he grabbed the hold of your hips to flip you over, tight grip sure to leave marks on the skin in the morning to come.

His weight came crushing over you, knocking the air out of your lungs and pinning you in place. Although he was using both of his hands to support his body, with each at the either side of you, it brought you little relief.

"Like I was saying," his lips pressed against the shell of your ear, you felt as if the reverberations of his voice reached your brain. "Marley allowing me to marry is more real than you think. Don't think they would refuse their most valuable asset in such a trivial matter. Maybe I'll even start winning more wars for them."

Your mind refused to give any more attention to his words, demanding a tangible satisfaction instead. You tried to arch your back in hopes that the sudden contact of your pelvises would make him forget his musings, forcing him to stoop down to the same level that you found yourself on, but it was all futile. Under the immense pressure your lower torso was rendered immobile, as if fused with the plush mass of the mattress.

The skin on your shoulder tingled with faint prickles where he rested his chin. "The armband, as significant as it may seem, is not the solution to each of your problem in the internment zone. A glorified scrap of fabric signifying that you're just a bit less miserable than all the others, that's what it is, really." he spoke, his voice tainted with sullen knowledge.

You absolutely hated how he remained so stationary while in arguably the most compromised position and how you lacked the power to change it. "Then why are you willing to go through the trouble of giving me one?" You hissed into the cradle of your palms, tone brimming with impotent dissatisfaction.

The next moment you felt him grabbing a fistful of your hair, with a violent tug forcing your head to turn to the side, your neck almost snapping from the sheer power of the motion. You were met with his gaze, angry yet at the same time seemingly insulted by your insolence to question his motives again. You responded in kind, your eyes watching his lips in anticipation of yet another one of his countless self-serving musings to be voiced. But you didn't hear any. He let go of your hair just as suddenly, nudging you to face away from him.

Sitting up straight, his body weight shifted towards your thighs as he was straddling them. Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed his shirt falling to the ground. The sound of the belt buckle coming unfastened was the next thing you heard, the soft clang of the metal clasp filling you with thrill.

His hand snaked its way to your abdomen, pressing against the small of the belly to make you raise your hips and you felt happy to oblige, displaying yourself nicely to him. His touch lingered on you for quite some time after that as both of his hands traveled to the back your thighs, absentmindedly caressing the supple flesh in lazy broad strokes. A surge of goosebumps cascaded across your body, each wave driven not only by his scorching touch but also by a sudden flash of realization.

He must have noticed how shamelessly wet you were. The positioning of your hips left barely any room for his imagination and presented him with the delectable view of your slit, slick covered and pulsing with heat. Exasperated, you bit down on your lower lip to supress a desperate moan all the while he took his sweet fucking time to revel in the way your cunt flutterd around nothing begging to be filled. As much as you wanted to feel him inside you, you kept your pleas to yourself, left solely at the mercy of his self-restraint which you hoped had started to diminish already. You'd rather die than make your weakness for him known again, as if your body wasn't enough of an indicator already.

Eternity might have passed but he eventually moved, shifting some of his weight back onto his arms as he mounted you.

You couldn't help but gasp at the way your walls enveloped him, struggling to take his girth at first. A drawn-out raspy fuck emitted from his chest once he entered you, his motion slow yet persistent as he slid his cock deeper inside you. Careful not to harm you, he halted whenever your breaths became too shallow and frantic from the stinging of the stretch, not moving any further without your leave.

Minutes later you felt him reach the deepest part of your cunt, the immense pressure from his continuous thrust built at the bottom of your stomach, so unbearable that it rendered all the other sensations non-existent. There was no way he couldn't feel your body tensing up below him. Nonetheless, he kept on pushing, as if trying to break you. Even as you tried to get away from the uncomfortable feeling, he stopped you, putting his palms over yours as another way to pin you down. The weight of the pressure bore down on you relentlessly, within mere seconds, tears began to bead on your lashline, threatening to cascase down your cheeks and fall onto the sheets.

The skin of your nape grew hot where he doused it in kisses. Twisted sense of comfort welled up inside of you in hopes that his caresses, so out-of-place yet so warranted, would at the very least provide some relief to you. It seemed that he would persist until you fully succumb to him. A whispered praise poured into your ear once all the struggle left your body and your flesh became pliable to him.

Only then did he back down. Letting you catch your breath as one of his hands traced its way to your face, brushing a strand aside to get a better look of your eyes glistening with tears.

Little did you know that it would be the final act of gentleness he bestowed upon you for a long time, leaving you yearning for more. You didn't even had the time to savour it as he set a new unforgiving pace.

Beyond the tingling sensation of his cock dragging against your walls in a brutalizing manner, sharp hissing grazed your ear. "Why in hell would I go through the trouble of giving you one," he tantalised, each of his thrusts only adding to the mockery. "So you won't forget that you're mine while I'm be away".

"Mine and safe," he murmured then, confident that you won't hear him.

It wasn't his voice. It sounded so unlike him in this moment, frail and vulnerable, but you were the only people in the room so it must've been him.

A jolt of pleasure railed through your body with the tip of his cock hitting your sweet spot over and over again, driving you wild. Your pleasure became apparent to him as well, his motions gaining more precision to increase the blissful sensation for you.

Struggling to form words you nonetheless tried to, your lips and tongue heavy. "So this is what comes with being your wife?" You couldn't believe the tenderness lacing your tone at this moment. The sentiments were a cruel thing, not something you were supposed to have towards him, nor he towards you.

His reply was overtly eager, as he leaned closer to you, your bodies pressing together almost seamlessly. "Pretty much," his voice rang in your ear. "You must admit that you're very fortunate."

You craned your neck to face him, curiosity sparkling in your eyes. Taking in your alluring look, he couldn't resist the glowing skin of your shoulders, so transfixed on tasting the salt of your sweat on his lips that he ground to a halt inside you.

All you could do was rile him up even further, a chuckle escaping your lips. "Oh yes, the prospect of having you cater to my every whim sounds like a remarkably enticing endeavor on my side."

As your words hung in the air, a mischievous glint danced in your eyes, reveling in the effect they had on him. The corners of his mouth curled into a sly grin, mirroring your own playful demeanor and growing heavy with somber tone. With that, his hold on you became tighter, his hand groping at the fat of your thighs.

His hips snapped against yours with such a force that you nearly mewled, feeling the reverberations of his thrust echoing throughout your body. "Enjoying it while you can." His voice dropped to a low, husky timbre, tinged with a hint of challenge and sneer. "You've got only five years left for that."

This level-headed bordering on indifferent demeanor in a blind disregard of his own words struck a nerve with you. You gulped some air, desperate to conceal the outburst within you.

You wished he hadn't remind you of the imminent futility of your secret musings. You wished he would just carry on with pounding into your leaking heat with no thought to it. As he moved inside you, sinking his cock inch by delicious inch, the pleasure of it faded even if your own body continued having visceral reaction to the process, your gummy fluttering around his girth. Now, only lament had residence in your mind. If it wasn't for your unfortunate fate of having been born as Eldians, perhaps you could have a chance at a normal life. Without the constant thoughts of him slipping away.

His resolve undying, he pressed your body deeper into the mattress, the pressure of his hands driving the air out of your lungs all the while his cock kept winding the coil in the pit of your stomach.

"Widowhood would suit you so good."

His voice remained just as mocking as before, as if the life that was put on the clock wasn't his. You, on the other hand, were precisely the one not entertaining such remarks. "Tell me." You could barely make out the words amongst the squelching sounds. "Tell me, will you mourn me? Funeral would be hard to organize, admittedly, with no body left for you to bury, but-"

You rushed to hide your face in the sheets. You heard enough. You didn't want to hear anymore of his taunts.

The words still reached your ear. "Will you cry for me like a good wife should for her husband?" He came to a halt deep inside you yet again, ready to break you should you not answer. "I've never seen those eyes cry before. So will you or will you not?"

The satisfaction wouldn't come so easily to him as you remained motionless under him. Only your shoulders quivered with subtle tremors, betraying the hidden distress that stirred within you. As simple thing such as breathing brought you a lot of struggle so you could only hope that your poise would last through all of this.

"It's not like I've taken your tongue away," he mocked.

A gesture of feigned compassion, you felt his fingers card through your hair, lulling you into false sense of security in hopes of luring out a desired reaction out of you. The sweet tone of his voice came off as cruel and mocking as he coaxed you for an answer, his fingers toying with your clit only adding to the torture.

Sick twisted pleasure, that's what he was getting from all of this. Your answer to his inquiries evident to him, he nonetheless wanted to hear it falling from your lips, dry and bitten at.

Yet, when he spoke again, his voice shed all its malice, barren as it trembled slightly. "At least remember me after I'm gone, would you do that for me?" He called out your name and it sounded vulnerable coming from him, his tone etching deep within your memory.

With a lump forming in your throat, you struggled to find your voice as well as enough air to form a response. There was no purchase for your mind as a scorching wave of orgasm coursed through your body, your face contourting in pleasure and your cunt squeezing in around him. With that, the last bit of poise left you and you broke down completely.

"Yes!" you pushed past your lips, hot tears streaming down your cheeks and your shoulders shaking with each sob.

In this moment you suddenly grew unaware of your surroundings, deaf to his whispers pouring into the ear and numb to the tingling stretch of your core as he was chasing his own high.

The skin of your inner thighs soiled with his seed, you would normally rush to the bathroom to wash away the stench of sex but this time you thought against it, curling up on the bed instead once he rolled off of you. Only now you began to feel the weight of your confession. Why did it have to be you alone to crack under the surge of sentiments that held immense power over you?

He decided to stay in bed as well, watching you struggle to come to terms with what you had just said, complacent grin plastered across his face. Evidently, you made him very happy this night.

"When are you leaving?" you asked in a raspy voice, watching him as he watched you in the enveloping darkness.

His fingers reached for a stray strand, sliding it behind your ear. His tone was thick with mindless glee. "In a couple of weeks, plenty of time for me to convince Marley to green light the marriage." The kiss he left on your lips acquired a bitter taste with time. "What will you say?" At the lack of suitable words, you just nodded dumbly.

He is not to be trusted.

There's a deceit lacing his each word.

But as you gazed deeper into his eyes, glinting in the dark shroud of the night, you let him deceive you yet again.

(phew)

[gojou-violin]

kitty, i'm home

☽ 𝒦𝐼𝒩𝒦𝒯𝒪𝐵𝐸𝑅 𝒲𝐸𝐸𝒦 𝒪𝒩𝐸 ☾

| pairing: femboy!streamer!kenma x gn!streamer!reader

| warnings: 18+ MDNI phone sex, masturbation, ruined orgasms, “mommy” reader, “kitty” kenma, pet play, maid outfit, edging, overstimulation, aftercare.

| wc: 3.8k

| a/n: yoinked this from the streamer!oc x kenma x kuroo poly fic i've been working on <3 the context here is that streamer!oc became friends with kenma via streaming games together, and he eventually invited them out to japan where they become an item. reader is planning on moving to japan now, but has to be back in the states for a bit before the move, which is why they're long distance rn-- okay, you'll catch on lol

| taglist

It was torture being in a long distance relationship. People made it work all the time, of course, but I could never understand how they overcame the desperate urge to touch their partner(s) at all times when they weren’t close by. Since leaving Japan, all I wanted was to cuddle with Kenma and watch anime, like we had that last night together; or play with his hair as he curled up in my arms when he was starting to wake up; or laugh at him and poke his cheek when he’d get upset about missing a shot in Valorant. I was itching to get back to him. It had only been two weeks, yet I was ready to sell all of my things on whim and move to Tokyo early just to see him again. Sure, there was Discord where we could sit in call every day and night, giving up our healthy sleep schedules just for the sake of saying “fuck you” to timezones; but I had this unbarable itch to grab him, kiss him, and fuck him… Fuck, I wanted to fuck him again. It wasn’t fair that we only got to it the night I left. I should have made a move sooner, I should have jumped his bones more, I should have taken advantage of the fact that we were so close— Ugh… I missed him more than anything in the world.

“Mommy?”

I muted my mic so that I could groan in pain and slam my fist against my desk. I was dying. Slowly. Painfully. It was all his fault. I had to sit there for about an hour after stream, staring at his camera screen on Discord, watching and listening as he whined my name and started touching himself. Kenma Kozume… He was going to be the death of me. If I had to hear him whimper my name on more time, I was going to lose my fucking mind. It wasn’t fair that I wasn’t there. I hated that it wasn’t me touching him and making him break. I was losing every bit of composure I had watching him edge himself for me while whimpering and biting his sweatshirt sleeve. He knew I hated that. I wanted to hear him— I needed to hear him. Hiding his face from me, muffling his cute moans, avoiding eye contact with me because he knew he looked pathetic blushing like that… Fuck, fuck, fuck— I hit my desk again.

“Mommy?” he asked again, this time with worry instead of lust.

I looked up at my camera and unmuted, “I’m here, baby, don’t stop.”

Kenma’s eyes closed as he swiped his thumb over his sensitive tip. “Fuck—” His length twitched in his hands. I watched intently as he stole his own touch away to edge again, but he had been one second too late, unfortunately for him. He threw his head back. “Mommy— Mommy— No, no, no—” He wiggled in his gaming chair as he weakly came, spurts of his cum shooting onto his sweatshirt. “I’m sorry…” he whispered as he relaxed.

My fingers grasped onto my chair arms for dear life so that I could try to find my composure. “Don’t be sorry, baby.” I panted under my breath helplessly.

He looked so fucking cute with his face all red, tears pricking at the outter corners of his eyes, his cum on his chest, his cock slowly softening as he recovered from his ruined orgasm. There was no way I could be upset with him when he looked like an angel.

“You did so well for me, baby. I’m proud of you.”

Kenma pulled the collar of his sweatshirt over his nose.

“Don’t hide from me when I’m complimenting you, kitty.”

He practically swooned out of his chair when he heard his favorite nickname.

“I can’t wait to knock that bad habit out of you,” I teased with a smirk.

“I miss you.”

My knuckles turned white as I grabbed my chair harder. “I wish I could fly back early.”

“You should.”

“It’s not worth it when I’d only be there for a few days to tease you before coming back to pack up and officially move. You’d miss me more after that if I did it.”

“You should come back,” he insisted more adamantly.

If he wasn’t careful, I was going to break and take him up on the offer—

“Please, Mommy.”

“One sec—” I muted and looked down to hide myself from the camera frame, acting like I was picking something up off the floor, while I was actually screaming through pressed lips because I couldn’t handle him anymore.

Two days. It wouldn’t hurt to fly out, stay for two days, then fly back. It wasn’t like I couldn’t afford it. The viewers would like to see us back together again, they enjoyed the irl content we made, and I was sure they’d have fun speculating about mine and Kenma’s relationship again. I’d get to see him again. Maybe I’d even get to visit Kuroo briefly? Two or three days wouldn’t hurt.

So, I ended up in Japan for the second time in two months, even when I promised myself I wouldn’t do it.

Kenma was excited that I was flying in. He called me on my way to the airport to let me know that he was getting ready to have me stay over again— Though he wasn’t going to set up the guest bedroom this time because he wanted me to share his bed instead. I was excited for that. I was excited to see him in person again, to hold him in my arms, to kiss him, to share his bed, to fuck him silly— Fuck, I was no better than a teenage boy going through puberty. I never knew that the honeymoon phase could be this bad.

Kenma wanted to meet me at the airport. He said the other day when I accepted the offer of flying out to see him for a couple of days that he wanted to be the first face I saw when I was back, but as I was in the car on the way to the airport to catch my flight and he called, he shyly apologized, letting me know that he couldn’t meet me at the airport, but that he’d be waiting for me at his apartment. My head was too clouded from rushing to catch my flight on time that I didn’t think twice about it. I didn’t even reconsider it after I landed and took the subway to get from the airport to his apartment in Tokyo. I only realized as I showed up to his building and sent him a text to warn him that I was going to knock on his door soon that I thought about it. He couldn’t have met me at the airport? Was he alright? Was he nervous about seeing me again? Should I have been nervous to see him again? What if things were different since I was last with him? What if we didn’t like each other in person any more? Maybe I’d made a mistake coming back so abruptly—

Kenma opened his door for me just in time, before I could even knock.

I fully expected to see him right in the doorway, jumping at me, cheering with happiness. What I didn’t expect was what actually happened. Kenma, while I was distracted with stepping inside and closing the door behind me, scrambled to his knees in the middle of the foyer, put his hands on his thighs to present his submissiveness, tilted his head up, and pouted cutely at me. I nearly wobbled off my own feet when I saw him. He was wearing one of those cheap maid costumes that cosplayers wore, black cat ears that matched his natural hair color, a collar around his neck with a silver bell and a red leash hanging from it, black knee high socks with padded cat paws sewed on.

He didn’t say anything without being spoken to first.

I knew that even as he was sitting there silently and submissively for me that I had to be the one who remained strong even though I wanted nothing more than to pin him down to the ground right there and fuck him to the point that he couldn’t move, making him my perfect boy whom I could use and take care of 24/7. I nearly fell over again at the thought.

“This is certainly a surprise, baby.”

Kenma smiled up at me.

“Is this all for me?” I asked while reaching out to cup my hand under his chin, earning a cat-like-nuzzle from him. When he nodded, I smiled down at him proudly and said, “Such a good boy.”

So this was why he couldn’t meet me at the airport. He would have embarrassed himself to Hell and back had he gone outside looking like this; and it wouldn’t have been so much of a surprise if he didn’t dress up to meet me at the airport and then come home to change while I waited. This was better. I loved this. I was glad he’d set this all up just for me.

“When’d you get all this, baby?”

I was holding off on calling him what he really wanted for the time being. I wanted to see just how desperate he could get for it. How far deep into subspace could he go without it? How much deeper could he go after hearing it? Would he melt into my hands? Would he stop breathing altogether? There were too many possibilities for me to not play with him!

“I thought about it last night,” he admitted shyly. He tried to hide his face in my palm.

I tsked and pinched his chin. “No hiding, baby.” He knew I didn’t like that. Finally, I could correct him in person. Finally, I could hold him down to make sure he looked at me when I made him feel good.

“Sorry, Mommy,” he croaked.

My hand carefully drifted from his chin down to the collar around his neck where I jingled the bell to see how loud it was— It was dainty and quiet, just like him— and then I wrapped my hand around the leash, drifting down and down until I found the loop at the end to tug on. He fell forward a bit, his perfect posture giving out. His lips parted, a small gasp escaping him, but he didn’t dare make a pathetic sound yet. Not when I still had so much in store for him.

“My cute, perfect, adorable, little…” I stopped because he was expecting it. “Pet.” He pouted with disappointment because he knew now that I was teasing him on purpose. “What? Are you not happy to see me, baby?”

Kenma shook his head vigorously. “Wait— No— Mommy—”

I gingerly tugged at his leash again until he had no choice other than to put his weight on his hands and knees, his ass up in the air, the skirt of his dress riding up a bit, revealing exactly what I wanted to see. Him. Naked underneath. Another surprise was hiding there for me, one that I never expected from Kenma in a thousand years, but I’d never had a stronger shit-eating grin plastered to my face before.

“My, my, what a perfect pet you are with your ears, your collar, your leash, and this…” I leaned over him to take his black tail in my hand, running my touch along it from the plug stuffed inside of him all the way up to the tip that hung on the floor.

Kenma shivered beneath me. He let out a mewl that I knew he had tried his very best to hold back, which made me content. It was too hard to tease him any longer like that. He was breaking, we both knew it, even though I hadn’t even touched him where he needed it most yet.

“Couldn’t even wait to let me get settled in,” I cooed. “You just had to impress me first thing, didn’t you?”

He nodded urgently. “Yes—” Kenma choked on his own words as I tugged a bit at the tail to see how snug it was inside of him. “Mommy—” He collapsed onto his elbows.

I tsked and picked him back up by pulling on his collar. “Come on, baby.”

After I kicked off my shoes by the front door and left my suitcase to be dealt with later, I walked past him, letting him follow me on his hands and knees as I led him through his apartment, towards the couch in the living room. I knew we couldn’t make it to the bedroom. It was too far. I needed him. Now.

“Climb on up, baby.”

Kenma did as he was told, laying down immediately because he was already expecting my next move, which was me laying on top of him, my hands venturing under his dress, reaching up to run my fingers along his flat stomach. He tensed, his loose abs coming forward for me to tease until he was squirming around, whining quietly behind pursed lips. That wouldn’t do. I had to hear him break before I could even think about making him feel good— I’d been considering what I’d do to him the next time I saw him since the last time I left, and I knew that even though all of my plans flew out the window the second he surprised me like this, at least I could still rely on one thing: Making him break. If I wanted to hear him moan, he’d do it. If I wanted to watch him break down into tears, he’d do it. If I told him to hold back his orgasm, he’d do it.

Oh, a wicked thought suddenly hit me.

“What is it, baby? You miss Mommy too much?”

He bucked up underneath me, his erection pressing against the inside of my thigh.

“Oh, yes, you missed me, baby, I know. I’m sorry…” I then kissed him for the first time in a long time.

We savored the kiss, ignoring how I was teasing him and how he was so needy that he could implode at any second, by going slow and gentle, my tongue already defeating his in a short fight for dominance. He was just too easy. It felt right to let him moan into my mouth as he continued to grind my leg; and it felt like the perfect response when I nipped at his bottom lip as a warning to not get too far ahead of himself.

“I missed you, kitty.”

Kenma’s eyes involuntarily rolled back as he gave up completely under me. His body went limp, his mouth hung open for me to hear every sound he could make, his hands on the hem of his dress so that he could hold it up for me, his legs bracketing me so that I could do whatever I wanted to him, his tail between his legs for me to pull on if I decided to.

While smirking, I leaned in to leave hickies all over his neck. “What is it, kitty?”

He moaned loudly. No biting his lip. No hiding his face. No muffling himself. No wordy response. Just… a simple moan to let me know he’d fallen so far into sub space that he couldn’t think straight— Which was alright. I could do all the thinking for him.

“You poor thing… You’re shivering… And you’re so hard…” I finally gave in to what we were both craving: wrapping my hand around his cock. “It’s been torture having you touch yourself for me while I’ve been gone… Isn’t that right, baby?”

He moaned again.

“Having to ruin your orgasms because you can’t edge yourself like I can.”

Kenma was a sensitive baby. I discovered the first time we ever slept together that it didn’t take much to make him cum— But the one thing that was sure to send him over the edge every time was touching his tip. I wasn’t sure if it was because he’d trained himself by accident to do it long before I met him, or if he always neglected that part of his body and I happened to find out that it was his spot. I supposed it didn’t matter. All I knew for sure was that I had to avoid it until he was ready to fall over the edge, or else he’d cum too early. But the poor thing was so desperate for me as I slid my hand up and down his shaft— He was still clenching his entire body for dear life, his eyes were screwed shut, and his hands were grabbing onto my hips so hard I thought his nails would leave indents on my skin.

There was just enough of his chest showing above the collar of his dress for me to leave one last hickey between his pecs before I kissed his lips again, then I sat up entirely. I got a good look at him as my hand continued to slowly work on his twitching length.

“Look at yourself, baby,” I tsked. “It took nothing to break you this time.” My other hand found where the plug inside of him met the fluff of his long tail. “Your face is all pink. Are you embarrassed?”

He shook his head while panting.

“No? Good…” I smiled and pulled his plug out a bit. “Kitties don’t get shy on their Mommies.” I watched with fascination as his tight hole stretched around the widest part of the plug. “They do the cutest, most pathetic things imaginable…” I pushed the plug back in, Kenma arching his back and moaning my name as I did so. “And then they let their Mommies take care of them accordingly.” I twisted and tilted the plug to reach spots inside of him that he’d likely been dreaming about since I left. “What were you expecting when you did this for me, kitty? A reward? Maybe a punishment?” He grabbed my wrist to get me to stop touching his cock because he was close and I was too distracted by his tail to notice. “Good boy.”

“Fuck—” He slumped against the couch with a sigh as his edge passed.

“You wanted to be rewarded. You went out, bought all of these embarrassing things for me, then put them on, dolled yourself up to look perfect, and you waited by the door like pets do.” I started moving my hand again. “Did you touch yourself while you waited for me?”

“No— No, no, no, no, Mommy, I promise, I didn’t—” He was too far gone to be coherent, honestly.

“Are you sure?”

“I promise— I— I promise— Mommy—”

I was so inclined to believe him, but he was already too close to cumming for him to have been patiently waiting by that entire time. But I also didn’t want to punish him… He looked too cute for that… And I’d been waiting too long to see him for me to torture him right off the bat. Him lying to me would have to be put on the back burner for now.

“My good kitty.” I shimmied down so that I could kiss his thigh. He shaved for me… He smelled like lotion, too, so he must have bought something new for me. “Tell me, baby, do you wanna cum for Mommy?”

He nodded nervously.

“How do you earn it?”

“Mo- Mo— Mommy—” Kenma tried his best to put all the words together for me, but I was working his length fast now, practically encouraging him to break my rules, all the while I was using my lips and tongue to tease his sensitive and shaky legs. “Please— Ple— Please—” He squirmed left and right to try to get away from me because he was right there, yet he hadn’t earned it. “Please! Fuck! Mommy! Please, may I— May I—”

“You’re so close to getting it right, kitty. You can do it.”

That gave him the final push he needed. With one heavy breath and a pathetic, high pitched whine, he cried out, “Please, Mommy, may I cum for you?”

I smiled wide in victory. “Go on, kitty.”

With my hand working his length, my thumb finally swiping over his tip, my other hand working the tail in and out of his hole, and my lips kissing the inside of his thighs, Kenma came. He was so overwhelmed that he unintentionally put his hands up like paws over his face. I didn’t stop him this time. So long as he continued to whine like that as he worked through his orgasm, I was in heaven.

His toes curled next to me as he finished leaking everything he had stored away since I left Japan last time; so I took pity on him, choosing to give him a break rather than overstim him like I usually did. The hand I had on his tail drifted down to the cat paws that were sewed onto his feet. I pressed on them carefully until his toes relaxed. The rest of his body followed suit shortly after when I took my hand off his length and flipped his dress down.

“Good boy.” I kissed his cheek.

“Th- Thank you— Thank you, Mommy.”

I reached out to pull the ears off his head so that I could brush my fingers through his hair to get the sweaty strands off his face. He melted like a cat that was being scratched between the ears.

“I’ll get you something to drink.”

I kissed him one more time before escaping his legs that were tangled around me.

“Soda,” he requested.

I shook my head. “Water.”

“Soda!”

“Water first. Soda later when you’re better.”

When I returned to the couch with a glass of water and a rag, Kenma stayed put so that I could sit next to him while tilting his head up and pressing the lip of the cup to his mouth so that he could take gentle sips. When he was ready, he sat up by himself. He took the cup from me to continue drinking the rest of it as I cleaned the cum off of his chest, thighs, and off his dress. The plug would have to cum out later when he was ready. I’d wash his costume with my clothes I wore in the airport. I’d have to clean his toys for him while he’d nap before stream.

I kissed his forehead. “I missed you, kitty.”

He nuzzled me. “I missed you, Mommy.”

I decided then and there that two days wasn’t going to be enough. Someone I trusted would have to go to my place back in the States to sell everything because there was no way in hell I’d be able to leave Kenma again— Not when he was curling up in my lap like a cat would. He was ready to rest as he came out of subspace, and I was ready to hold him in my arms until we were sick of each other.

[itsashowtime]

What kind of personality does Toshi have and what backstory?

I am still in the process of fleshing out his story but! Here's what I have so far...

(Art by: Aixen )

Japanese Name: 時紫 雨花

Surname: Toshi 時紫 (violet hour)

First Name: Ukuwa (rain flower)

Alias: White Rabbit (By most), Eighty-Six (By Sho after they breakup) 

Birthday: June 8

Age: 19

Gender: Cis Male

Height: 190cm (6'2")

Noise Form: Jackalope Cantus

Trivia/facts:

I designed him next to Rindou so they looked super hot together but then Shou swiped him like the asshole he is - I have yet to play Neo so maybe UkuRin will be able to recover but rn the Shou living rent free in my brain doesn't seem to want to share

I made Ukuwa's motif Hydrangea after a trip to the Hydrangea Shrine.

He's extremely picky about food and drink tempretures, like, it has to be just right or he'll tear you a new one

Loves Chai flavour

Every barista's nightmare, he'll yell at you if you don't pay attention to his laundry list order

He fiddles with his ear piercings when he's nervous

He thumps his feet like a rabbit when he's pissed

The neediest fucking bottom

Personality

A hardworking, judgemental and esteemed horologist. Time means everything to Ukuwa and he always seems to be in a rush! He is nicknamed 'Shibuya's White Rabbit' since he is often spotted dashing around the streets mumbling about schedules.

Ukuwa is strict and harsh but especially towards himself. He hates relying on people and prefers to get things done on his own. He is extremely counter dependent. If absolutely necessary, he takes extreme care in picking who to have around. He mostly sees people as tools for his own convenience. He calls people 'cogs'.

He has a very good eye for art and is passionate about design. He doesn't get excited often but when it comes to art, that is the one time his eyes light up.

Ukuwa's character arc is about slowing down and embracing the moment, being able to acknowledge your progress, allowing yourself to accept help and allowing friendships with unconditional love to blossom.

Backstory

tldr; He is the CPTSD haver ever - Trigger warning for: child abuse, neglect, divorce

An only child who did not have his emotional needs met. Ukuwa was raised by an abusive, alcoholic father who was a electronics technician and a neglectful mother who was a highschool teacher. Both his parents had high expectations towards him right away. Failure to perform with the best outcome would result in: solitary confinement + hitting/whipping as punishment whether that be in school, house chores, or even going out. He has scars all over his hands as a result which is why he wears gloves all the time.

Ukuwa would be locked in an empty room after a rough beating to 'reflect on his actions' for hours, his only company being clocks. This is where his obsession with clocks started. Curious and bored, Ukuwa would start to disassemble clocks at a young age to figure out their workings. One could’ve gone insane, but Ukuwa was grateful that the clock would tell him when the pain was over and he could see the light again.

His parents divorced when he was in middle school, both of them getting newer partners with other children. This applied extra pressure onto him to perform well. Unfortunately, Ukuwa was often casted aside in favour of his step/half siblings. He is desperate to prove that he isn't a burden. In fact, that's a really big fear of his.

Ukuwa functions on guilt and shame. His fear of being a burden and a failure is what causes his workaholicism and lack of care towards himself. He pushes forward and only forward. He does not allow himself to rest. Time only moves forward, and so he wants to move only forward too.

This means that he's chronically counter dependent and refuses help when it is offered. He avoids connecting with people unless it's absolutely necessary and for business purposes. Because one less person to be around means one less person to be a burden and disappointment to.

Ukuwa saved up a lot as a child just to move out and to escape his family. Once he graduated from high school, he immediately moved out to Tokyo and has been living in a sharehouse.

He currently attends a college of jewelry in Shibuya, learning how to make clocks of all kinds. He is obsessed with Il Cavallo Del Re and dreams to design clothes and watches for them.

Now, I don't usually have my OCs getting TOO involved in canon but this is sort of an exception (though Ukuwa does not effect TWEWY mainplot) *puts hands together* So where does he fit into TWEWY? WELL-

One day, when he was rushing around mumbling about time and being late, he got caught up in a sinkhole and he dies. (Haha, ironic bc of his nickname which references the rabbit in Alice in Wonderland) He was already feeling terrible because his clock design didn't get included in this competition he had participated in.

But he lands himself in one of Minamimoto Shou's earlier Reaper Games. At this point, Shou hasn't discovered Taboo bullshittery. This game takes place a while before Neku comes along.

His entry fee was his concept of time. This means that he cannot even see the timer on his phone and can only recieve missions. Ukuwa is hyper vigilant (thanks cptsd). That means he's extra sensitive to light and sound. He has several clocks on him with different 'voices' that soothes him. Suddenly, he can't hear them anymore and that throws him off real bad.

He gets grabbed by a straight-for-pay lesbian hostess and party girl, Hana, admist the panic of Day 1. She grabs him because he looks 'reliable' and wealthy. (she was wrong. Ukuwa is gay and he only looks wealthy because the clothes he wears is what he designed and he's good with his hands)

Hana forms a pact with him, wanting to take advantage of him like she usually does with men because she treats them like wallets. Her entry fee was money, so she cannot spend money throughout the game and has to rely on stingy Ukuwa. Ukuwa has to rely on Hana to keep track of the time.

They start off pretty rocky at first because Ukuwa doesn't have patience for her antics and Hana gets frustrated by how Ukuwa is so careful with how he uses his money and how he doesn't seem to know how to have fun.

Ukuwa's pysch is cryokinesis. Because you know. Time has literally stopped for him. He can summon icicles and walls of ice. Hana has immense strength and smacks the shit out of noise with her purse. They become quite a good team throughout the week.

Ukuwa starts to enjoy the moment instead of trying to push forward and ignore his feelings, and Hana learns that partying and drinking won't solve all of her problems.

Tldr, he falls in love with Shou so hard and he already struggles with feelings of uselessness in the RG so he ends up becoming a reaper. Their relationship happens very quickly and it's veeeery toxic (but that's what makes it tasty)

If you wanna know the deets about UkuShou-

Ukuwa x Shou

Ukuwa is immediately intruged by Shou's trash heaps. The symbolism and the cynycism towards humans speaks out to him. It's the first time he really feels connection towards someone. The precision of the trash, how it's held up so sturdily and is obviously so deliberate is impressive to him. Hana tries to snag a piece of trash that looks useful as a weapon and Ukuwa yells at her and puts it back. He calls it an art installment.

He doesn't know that Shou is the artist behind the heaps. Not until the trash cat turns up anyways. He actually finds Shou insufferable and annoying at first. The yelling into the megaphone is pretty triggering to him and he doesn't hesitate to throw an icicle at Shou. When he finds out that Shou is the artist though, he can't help but grow more and more curious.

When Shou hears Ukuwa praising his art, he's pretty confused at first. He normally doesn't care if measly humans can't understand his art's brilliance and beauty, so hearing Ukuwa reading his piece like a book is different and a little unsettling. One part of him is happy? But the other part of him just doesn't want to admit that he's understood.

So throughout the week, he makes more unhinged art pieces and challenges Ukuwa to guess the symbolism and he denies how correct Ukuwa is every time. It's annoying how bright Ukuwa looks when he talks about his art. But it's also really endearing too.

Anyways, Shou grows curious about Ukuwa and it's a running theme that he tries to interrogate him in closed spaces like alleyways, the phonebooth of love (where they share their first kiss) and changing rooms. They bicker, argue, talk about art, the mission, etc.

Ukuwa is a stupid baby gay and he starts seeing Shou as a person and he starts to understand and speak in maths lingo too. Shou becomes so fascinating and beautiful to him so he makes the extra effort to get to know him. He has the biggest crush and Hana notices too- Even trying to set them up in her own silly way.

I should prolly mention that I hc that Shou is colourblind and has protanomaly colour blindness (weak to red/green) and like.

Shou vision Ukuwa is vibrant and pretty it's insane.

I fully agree with Kiga's Shou HC and I think Shou had his art criticized in the past due to his questionable colour choices which lead to him making more sculpture stuff than paint. ANYWAYS-

Shou eventually accepts that he is understood by Ukuwa and by the time it's day 7, he realizes that actually, he kinda doesn't want Ukuwa to die in his hands. Luckily, Shibuya's Reaper's Game rules at this point aren't exactly solid yet and Shou being Shou finds loopholes. On the last day, there are a few surviving duos that reach the top of Pork City to fight Leo Cantus. This is when Ukuwa tosses humanity right out the window and he essentially erases all remaining players aside from himself and his partner Hana.

He's under the impression that one of them will have to die so he tells Shou that he'll gladly 'give him his movement' and die in his hands, but Shou cannot bring himself to do that and asks him to stay and add art to this world with him.

Tldr, thanks to the loophole of mission mail wording, Ukuwa is able to become a reaper and the two become even more inseparable.

They are very horny and very obsessed with each other. Ukuwa drops everything for love. Unfortunately, Ukuwa is a needy bitch and he relies on Shou for his dopamine. Shou is a free spirit and he likes his space so the relationship falls apart after a few months.

Ukuwa is actually the one that dumps Shou because he was 'five minutes and twenty three seconds late to our date'.

This hurts Shou's pride a lot because how DARE he get dumped. But here's the thing- they keep banging anyways. They are like magnets. And Shou is SO smug about it too. Because Ukuwa is in denial about still having feelings but he keeps going back!

I have yet to play NEO but after Shou dies in TWEWY Ukuwa acts like a fucking widower and he has a relapse with his workaholism. Kariya really helps him loosen up and enjoy the moment.

When Shou is revived in NEO, Ukuwa is like a sobbing mess. I imagine by then, Ukuwa has grown as a person more and he has learnt to give Shou space so they end back together. Shou also learns to have some empathy and stop being so selfish and finally apologizes (shocking) and they get back together. With their bond stronger than ever, they end up having a daughter (light puck baby) named Miu who is almost as unhinged as they are. She LOVES physics. She's a genius. And also a super powerful angel but I'll explain that another day LOL

[arinzu]

IM FEELING VERY SARCASTIC RN

The Journey Of Emiliee Smithrens

to marry one of the itoshi members...

Sarcasm... more nonsense rn. Wattpad type crap

AHHH IM BUSTING WITH ENERGY RN!

This is just a joke, and uh- short since I got this idea as I was playing...

dress to impress 👗👍😁

(theme was valentine day)

Hihi I'm Emiliee Smithrens! And I will confess my love to the one and only Itoshi Rin💕

I waited for the arrival of my love my itoshi Rin... I got nervous and weakly grab the heart shape container filled with sweets, with my own petite hands

'It's okay emi! You got this just say the script and he'll be yours' I note starting to calm down and the nervously me fade away

I brighten up when I see rin going to my little figure. Keeping a bright smile I turned my head up to see his majestic face.

"H-hello... I'm Emiliee" I blush cutely

"Emily?" My soon to be Rin questioned

"No... Emily with a liee, itoshi-sama!"

"Erm..." My sweet boo bear said.

"I want to confess something to you" I say as I try to brush my blonde hair

"Dont-"

"You and me were meant to be, you make me smile! I love you to the moon and back! Being yours is a dream come true. I love you just the way you are! I love you LIKE caseoh size! I still fall in love with you every day.nI didn't choose you, my heart did pookie bear.... Please be mine!"

"No. Absolutely. Not. Happening" did Rin just reject me? This has to be a dream. "...plus those lines are from Google"

"Please senpai! Just accept me as your girlfriend" I beg him flashing my best puppy face.

"I'm going to get a restraining order against you" my heart sank as he told me this, when I wasn't looking... He left me.

My blue shiny eyes start filling up with water, tears start flowing down my eyes

But that's okay! I can still get the hotter and more rich itoshi, Sae itoshi the football prodigy and the older brother of Rin itoshi.

....

I just finished wiping another set of tears for another itoshi.

Oh well it's a shame I got rejected twice on valentines day, once by sae itoshi and the other by Rin itoshi.

But that's fine I'll just go the older route!

Im not picky with the any itoshi's

Time to go see the father of the itoshi brothers!

...

I arrange to meet the one and only father itoshi, I stand there staring at the beach , my blonde long hair tied to a neat bun. Perfect for the occasion.

As I start becoming nervous, I hype myself up with the face of him and me getting married. That set a smile to my soft and delicate face.

I recall my practice script, it was amazing. Simple and straightforward yet very romantic! I got this in the bag he will be mine

As I saw him approaching my small body I started blushing seeing his magnificent face.

As he approaches closer I hold on tight to the bouquet of flowers and teddy bear I was holding with my tiny soft hands.

When he was just close enough I strike.

"Mr. Itoshi! I love you and please be mine" I excitedly exclaim out loud.

"Miss were you the one who scheduled the super duper important meeting? He ask my gorgeous self.

"Yes! Since you're going to meet me your future wifey💕" I happily remark.

"But I already have a wife miss..." Oh my sweet babycakes.

"She doesn't have to know~!" He froze and started backing up to avoid me.

"Ma'am please seek mental therapy..." He said my heart sank again

I started crying non-stop and the man just left me crying all alone.

...

But that's just Okay! I still have his wife. So let me shoot my shot.

Long short short. She didn't come, I prepared everything exactly how I wanted it to be.

She didn't come...

She didn't...

I didn't have a Valentine to any itoshi afterall

I stayed there at the restaurant until midnight. She didn't come, she ghosted me...

Is this my karma...?

Yeah that's it!

No more part 2 to her story.

Even a overall story:

Emiliee never got her valentine to any itoshi. The end💕

Thank you for reading this dumbass of a story!!!!

Also for the ppl who wanted a part 2 to Rin x reader apocalypse please wait it's taking too long!

[ellipse-society]

whats ur job like? is it tough/hard (especially as someone who also has mental health issues, but like.... who doesnt XD)? what drew u to psychology/working in a clinic? is a psych bachelers worth it in ur opinion? (or at least worth witnessing the annoying ppl u might meet in college...) what did u do for ur bachelers degree? :-D

(my eyesight is kinda blurry rn sorry if any of these r wrong/feel free to skip or avoid any of these at all :'D i hope u have a good day!!!)

Well our job is client centered so each day can vary drastically as far as how hard it is. Some days five clients are in crisis simultaneously and others we only have maybe one or two of our easiest clients scheduled. Though the work schedule is also flexible which is a perk. They basically do not care when you are there as long as you have 40 hours by the end of the week. When talking to clients we(as in everyone at the company) basically just refers to ourselves as caseworkers(we have a fancier title but it seems to only be used by our company so we would prefer not to share it publicly) even though most at the company don't see that as 100% accurate it's just the easiest way to describe it. It isn't the perfect job but we get to work in a field we enjoy and get to make a difference in people's lives so it is fulfilling for us. Basically the job is working with lower income people with mental disabilities(almost always SUD but commonly also GAD, MDD, PTSD, and Schizophrenia/schizoeffective with a few other disorders here and there on a less frequent basis) and providing them with coping skills and access to resources in the community for basic needs like food, housing, work, access to medication, ect. Our goal is to help the client improve enough that they can be independent and graduate from services. We also regularly meet clients out in the community instead of at the clinic so a lot of driving is also involved which is sometimes good sometimes annoying depending on the area of town.

I don't think our mental health has really negatively effected us at our job. It has been a jumping off point for building rapport more than once though so it may be more of a positive. We have had more than one client relieved that we are autistic because either they have the disorder or know someone with the disorder and like that there is a level of understanding there.

I mean we were drawn to psychology due to our own mental health struggles and those of our family(also maybe a bit of autistic special interest lol). We have always wanted a job where we can help others and we were basically unprofessional councilors for our family and friends long before we had our psychology degree. It is just something we naturally do. We also switched majors in college(from secondary education theater and speech) and our general psychology teacher was one of our favorites. She made the topic interesting. When we were switching majors we took a bunch of classes in different fields we were interested in for a semester and psychology was the one that stood out again. We did a project on parenting styles in that class that made us realize a lot about our childhood and better come to terms with it.

I mean whether or not a psych bachelor's is worth it is based on what you want to do. There are many psychology jobs that are gatekept behind graduate school so you may not be able to get the perfect job with just a bachelor's. That being said most fields are looking for someone educated in psychology. It can definitely look better on an application than some other degrees as far as applying for jobs not directly related to the field. We had to go to one of our schools job fairs once(in a gym so sensory overload to the max) and almost every table called us over due to us majoring in psychology while we were avoiding as many people as possible while they were not doing that for people from some other majors that were more active about looking. It is basically a desirable major for many employers but getting an actual psychology focused job that accepts just a bachelor's may be hard to find.

We aren't sure what you mean by what we did for our bachelor's degree so if you want to send in another ask about that if we answer it in a way you didn't intend it to be answered feel free. Our school was very research based as far as how it taught psychology. Basically junior and senior year every student was required to run one study(junior year as a group and senior year solo) and a lot of general psych classes required study participation and other classes often provided extra credit so that people could get their participants. The solo one we did senior year was full of technical difficulties and the results would never be applied anywhere by any logical person so we don't tend to talk about that one but the one we did junior year we loved and it got us second place in our category when we presented it at our schools recheach symposium(and we were in the same category as the person who won best overall). Basically we were looking at how word bolding and amount of time with a piece of text affected memory. We found that(obviously) the more time someone had with the text the better it was remembered but the cool thing we found was that while if a word relevant to the memory quiz was bolded it improved performance there was no significant difference between the control and those that had irrelevant/distractor words bolded. Basically even if you were to bold the wrong words you aren't hindering ones retention so bolding words could only have a positive not a negative effect per our results. A lot of teachers were really interested in our results on that one and we are proud of it. Though not the most proud of our research paper on it because English has always been where we struggle most lol.

Oh and thank you for the questions. Hope you have a good day too.

[rolledcabbage]

first honkai star rail post and its a localization thing oops. not negative exactly but a bit rambly

i dont play genshin so idk if this is a mhy thing, but is it just me or is the english translation really good in lore parts but mid if not sometimes just... bad in regular dialogue?

theres this thing in spoken dialogue where characters refer to someone else by their name instead of "you" when theyre speaking directly to them (eg. saying "mr yang is so smart!" to mr yang himself), or the ever-hated by americans "big sis", which is definitely a case of directly translating the form of address from the original chinese version where this is totally common and normal, or maybe the translators dont even know the full context of the line (ie they dont know if its a conversation with that person or if theyre talking about them with someone else) and end up having to sound stiffer to avoid a total mistranslation.

this smells of "lack of time to actually see the whole conversation play out in its entirety in QA" to me which is like... its a game with a LOT of dialogue including throwaway npc lines and theyre on a simultaneous live service schedule so its not NOT understandable, but every time i see it im like "this could be fixed so easily by having march say 'you're so smart, mr yang!' instead" and get mildly annoyed

this problem kind of carries over to the english voiceover too since the voice actors dont get to see the scene in full, let alone hear the lines of the other characters in the conversation. some lines sound like they are positively winging it bc they dont know if theyre talking to the guy directly or not, or theyre very confidently voicing it as if theyre NOT talking to them directly bc thats not how people usually talk in english. its not even a "we had to match the mouth flaps" problem thats common in a lot of games and anime, bc each language has custom mouth flaps that match the voiced lines (which is really impressive)!

this problem is almost completely nonexistent in the japanese version btw due to japanese using peoples names/titles to address each other even MORE naturally than chinese in everyday speech. the japanese version has its own problems of stiff translations where they either use the kanji equivalent of the chinese words (星核 for stellaron) or katakana (ガーデンオブリコレクション for garden of recollection) and its not always consistent which one they go for which makes it sound kinda weird but thats not the point of this post

the english lore parts however are good. the simulated universe aeons for example are really well written. crucially there is no direct dialogue with aeons (afaik) and most things are descriptive, so theres no "who are they addressing rn?" problem since theyre like "yaoshi is...". or maybe the translators are just better at descriptive texts than dialogue! that happens!

i like the english translation most of the time, and sometimes more than the japanese one due to the problem above (english doesnt need to pick between languages! its english!) so lore terms sound more consistent and cohesive. and the english voices are really nice, i like dan heng and sampo and aventurine and clara a lot for example. but sometimes its really obvious that the voice actors were more clueless than they shouldve been which takes away from the immersion a little unfortunately

wow that was too long but yeah i completely understand the reasons behind this so i dont blame the translators themselves at all. so my conclusion is GIVE YOUR TRANSLATORS MORE CONTEXT AND TIME TO WORK! YOURE ONE OF THE RICHEST GAME COMPANIES IN THE WORLD

[midnight-rice]

Ephemerality, creativity, and completion

My sleep schedule is fucked and my brain is fried and I can't sleep so naturally I decided to go through all some of the files backed up in my Google Drive--- mainly my own artwork, old and new, some of my writing WIPs, and snippets of creative projects from fans and professionals alike that I had saved as inspirations. It was really refreshing to look back on the techniques and the flaws and the ideas in each of them, as well as my personal growth and the development of my interests. But so much of my work in there hasn't been shared because it's incomplete, which is something that haunts me quite a lot sometimes and as I was thinking about it and what I want from life I think I reached a new point in thinking. Apologies if I sound angsty or self-absorbed, I'm just liveblogging my musings for my own preservation purposes:

My inability to finish stuff is something that developed later in my life, starting around maybe late high school and becoming more noticable in my early twenties (although technically I'm still in my early twenties 😅). I suspect the cause is related to a mental disorder, probably ADHD though I'm not sure I'll ever get an official diagnosis, since the symptoms do sound similar to descriptions of executive dysfunction: almost everything I make has an invisible ticking clock on it, the length of which can vary wildly, but once that timer runs out the odds of completion drop abysmally low, no matter how much I care about the creation/task or how important it is. I've found that there are ways to prolong this deadline sometimes and the effectiveness of those methods can vary too. Sometimes it's better to take frequent breaks to avoid burnout, and other times it's better to push through while the intrinsic inspiration is high. Sometimes it's better to have deadlines to establish clear goals, and sometimes it's better to dismiss the time limitations because they can cause anxiety and hopelessness. Sometimes it's better to share what I'm working on in order to reignite interest by vicariously experiencing the idea with new eyes, and sometimes it's better to keep it to myself so that my brain doesn't conflate the act of sharing with the act of finishing.

And I know that things don't have to be complete in order to be shared, or at least I try to remind myself of that. My perfectionism makes me want to have it be *done* in its best currently possible form when shared, and tbh social media often reinforces that idea to an extent since WIPs tend to get way less attention than finished things but that's not entirely my point rn. I've more or less accepted that some things are made to matter in the moment, that I made them when I needed to and that it's okay to move on to other things without finishing. But presenting incomplete works can still feel like almost a betrayal as much as hoarding them does because it opens up possible miscommunication or misinterpretation--- if I had just found the right words or drawn the right details THEN the audience would get it.

And I think for me personally that idea of "getting it" is really important to me. I'm naturally more shy and reserved (or maybe it's not natural and was more of a coping mechanism to fit in but I'm not going there today lol) and I struggle to find the right words a lot in speech but the things I make manage to say a lot more about me than I can verbalize. A lot of my relationships are more surface-level like acquaintances and coworkers which is fine, it's unrealistic and probably unhealthy to be deeply intimate with everyone you know. But even some of my closer ones like my family still feel shallow at times or disconnected. I don't mean to sound edgy or that I'm "misunderstood," but I worry sometimes that if I got hit by a truck tomorrow they'd put the wrong words on my tombstone and never know about a Google Drive full of incomprehensible creative works that nevertheless mattered so much to me.

Oh my god the irony... I'm so tired I cant even finish this post and now it looks like I'm just having an anxiety spiral... f

[2hopatz]

Love Belt - Choi Jongho

Genre: fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, happy ending :D

Warnings: Jealousy, Crying, Ghosting, Kissing, College D:, Cursing, Tooth Rotting Fluff

Word Count: 2.3k exactly WE UP!!

Pairing: c. jh x gender non-specified reader

(a/n): hiiii~ I was like, super sad the other day and kept listening to love belt on repeat for hours. so I decided to write this. I recommend listening to Love Belt for this fanfic, but who knows, maybe I'll make a playlist for every fanfic! Enjoy~ Mwah!

“I just don’t understand why he is so angry over me having a new study partner, we don’t even have the same classes anymore!” you rant to your best friend frantically, your hands moving just as fast as your mouth. 

“Do you think you’re spending too much time in the studio, and Jongho is jealous or something? I mean, even I’ve noticed your study sessions turning into full-blown study nights,” Mel was trying desperately to calm you down, especially knowing how dramatic you can be at times. She just couldn’t believe that Jongho, of all people, would be the one ignoring you, “ He has been busy lately too, maybe he is just tired, or maybe your schedules don’t match up well.”

“I know his schedule by heart, which is also why I know that he has been ignoring me. I’ve tried to meet up with him every day this week dammit! The thing is, I haven’t done anything new besides study with Hyunjin these days,” the stress from the previous two weeks spills out of your mouth, and your fingers go cold despite the warm drink in your hands. 

“It’s only been two weeks, and next week is finals week. He could be studying, take a breath friend. Breaking down in a cafe would make you so embarrassed later,” Mel’s hand rested on your shoulder as you let out a breathy laugh.

“I don’t know Mel. He has never been this distant, not for two weeks at least. Maybe a day, maybe even a week, but he would always come back to talk it out,” the blood rushing in your ears and the lump sitting heavy in your throat made it apparent how affected you were by his absence. Even if you wanted to act unbothered, you couldn’t. It was Jongho after all, how can you be calm when you feel you’ve just lost your home over a damned study partner? 

“It just feels absent without him around me for this long. I feel like everything I lay eyes on is tarnished. This is just stressful, and for what?” Mel sighs, her arms wrapping around your shoulders and squeezing you tight. You lean into her touch, chasing the fleeting sense of relief it gives you. Still, your heart wrenches with loneliness as a memory of Jongho’s smile invades your consciousness. 

“I know, hun. How about you try again tonight, hm? Ask him to come over.”

“I have to paint with Hyujin tonight. I have my final project due next week and I’m struggling with the perspective view of the buildings. Ughhh and the reflections are absolutely going to kill me on top of my analysis of-” Mel throws you a scathing look, and you take it as your clue to stop spiraling about things you had to do. 

“You have time to do those later. Jongho may need you now, so what do I say?”

“Focus first on what matters to me, and everything will fall into place. My finals do matter… but I have all week to study. I need to see Jongho tonight. Thank you Mel.” She smiled, raising a hand perpendicular to your face.

“No need to thank me love, 'cause you’re paying for my coffee! Mwah!”

“I take everything back. Seonghwa likes girls who pay for their own coffee, he told me himself for real.”

“Nice try, I may be drunk in love, but I’m not stupid in love,” giggling, you two went up to the register to pay. You’re day felt a bit brighter now that you had a plan, and a beloved (albeit mischievous) friend to share it with.

. . .

‘Jongho, we need to talk. Now, actually.’

tdybear

‘Thought u had to study. With Hyunjin.’

‘Cancelled. I wanted to talk with you.’

tdybear

‘I’m studyin rn. Can we talk later?’

‘U can keep playing the avoidance game Jongho,

 but we’ll both end up losing. I’m not trying again, 

and I’m not finna reschedule nun.’

tdybear

‘Where r u?’

‘apartment.’

read 20:43

You threw your phone down on the bed with a sigh of frustration. One thing you’d come to learn throughout the years was just how stubborn Jongho could get. In truth, you couldn’t help but be a little frustrated with the fact that this was all over a fucking study buddy. Hyunjin and you had been acquaintances since your freshman year, yet now is when the issue starts? It was all so confusing. Still, there was that part of you that relished in the fact that Jongho was coming, because he didn’t want to lose you. If your heart was a glass, what had been a quarter full for the last two weeks is overflowing. You wanted to see his face. 

You keep pacing around the room, swimming in a pool of your disturbances. You are so frustrated, the lump in your throat being a telltale sign of incoming tears. Your heart is beating impossibly fast, and when you hear the doorbell ring out from the living room, it is like seeing the sun rise over the horizon after a lifetime of living in the dark. 

When you open the door, all you can see is him. All you can feel is him, and as angry as you want to be; you greet him with a warm smile and a hug that lasts all too long, and he does the same. Just for a moment, everything is normal. 

. . .

For all of the affection you had given each other at the door, the tension that filled your living room after was miasmic. You both sat awkwardly on the loveseat, periodically shifting around. 

‘I can’t take this anymore. I'M GOING INSANE HERE!’

“So, did you want to talk to me about something? Did something happen?” You could have burst a blood vessel right there. 

“Did something happen? Jongho, pray tell. When was the last time you saw me?”

“About… two weeks ago…” The silence that followed was deadly, and all you could do was cross your legs and look at him. Shifting on the couch, he fiddled with his fingers before clearing his throat awkwardly.

“Look… I’ve been… busy. You know how demanding my major is.”

“I’m an artist, and I always have time for you. Art and music are quite close in workload and nature, are they not?”

“You’ve been busy too, with Hyunjin. I didn’t want to interrupt you two.”

“I invited you over when Hyunjin wasn’t even here.”

“He’s been here? I thought you only worked in the studio.”

“He may be my study buddy, but he is also my friend. A friend which I was desperately in need of for the past two weeks.” He huffed at that, his cheeks and ears slowly warming, until even his nose was pink. He was frustrated. You were losing your patience, and he could tell by the glare cutting into the side of his head.

“Look, if you don’t want to talk to me, for whatever reason, tell me. I’m tired of going back and forth with myself about what I did or how you feel. I have my own life, and whether or not you want to be a part of it is your choice,” you said simply getting up from the couch to open the door. Though part of you was sure he would stay, the other part was petrified that he would get up and leave. If that door closes and he isn’t in the room, you think that your heart will stop beating. Or the world will stop turning. 

“Wait… do you promise not to think I’m an idiot?”

“No,” you fight a smile as you sat back down beside him, a supernova of hope going off in your heart. He smiles, and you see colors for the first time in two weeks. His laugh invades your senses, and you smell the cologne he always puts on after he showers; for a moment, you are home. Then the room went silent, and all you could do was hold out your pinky. 

“I promise.” He sighs when his pinky loops into yours, holding onto it, and putting your hand in his lap. You pray he can’t hear the way your breath hitches, and he hopes you can’t feel how fast his heart is beating.

“Did you miss me at all? When you were with him?” 

“I miss you every second my hand isn’t in yours.”

“I feel like an idiot.”

“Why?” His fingers intertwine with yours as he caresses the back of your palm.

“I saw how happy you looked beside him, how similar you guys are. How much he can really help you. I mean, he’s an artist. For the first time in my life, I was scared that you would leave me. I know, we’re just college friends, we may be bound to lose contact in the future. But the thought… I just can’t take it. So, I left first. I wanted to prove that I could live without you.” He is gripping your hand now, his head hung low. His breath hitches loudly, and for the first time in years, you see him cry. Your voice coos out, as your free arm wraps around him. 

“Fuck…” You sniffle as the lump in your throat reaches a fever pitch, “well… can you?”

“...No.” When he says that, something in you shatters and rebuilds itself, so many emotions flood you at once, and it wrenches a sob out of you.

“Don’t cry…”

“You’re one to talk…” and suddenly the sobs are mixed with laughter. The world is so much brighter when he is around.

“I’m sorry. I’m too jealous and too headstrong. If you were to be in love with him, I would still want to be in your life. Even if it means I won’t be able to talk to you as much. I swear that if the world ended, I would only need you to survive.”

“In love with him?” you giggled, tears still escaping your eyes, “Why would I be in love with Hyunjin?”

“I don’t know… your similarities. How soft he is around you. He makes affection with you look so easy.”

“That’s just what he is like Jongho. Even if Hyunjin were to have feelings for me, which I guarantee he doesn’t, I still would have to reject him. No one could ever compare to the way you make me feel. The way you make me hurt.” Three words burn in your throat, as you eyed Jongho’s reaction. You want nothing more than to feel his lips on yours. You burn for him. 

“You don’t like him?”

“He’s nothing more than a friend to me.”

“What am I to you?” You smiled nervously as silence settled in the air.

“You first,” shifting softly in your arms, he looks at you with confusion.

“What do you mean?”

“I want to hear you say it Jongho. After all, I didn’t avoid you. Write me a song. Tell me how you feel.” You smiled mischievously, leaning into him. Suddenly, his hand is untangling from yours, opting to gently massage the crest of your hip.

“You’re such a bully.” He is inches from you now, you can feel his breath. Was time always this slow? You’re getting too impatient. 

“Tell me, Choi Jongho, what am I to you?”

“...You’re the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. I want to make lyrics that only you understand. I want to sing songs that only you can hear. I want to be yours, in every sense. All I want in return is your love, your time, and your patience. Without you, I’m a fish out of water. I need you like the current needs the moon. I want to dress you in the rings of Saturn, I want to form your name from the remnants of stars. The divine was inspired by you. All I’ve ever wanted was you. I’ve needed a lot of things, but none of those things matter without you.” He was pulling you closer now, his hand sliding to your waist, his eyes flickering from your lips to your eyes. Brown had always been your favorite color, it was the color of everything warm. It was home. You had loved him long before you knew him. 

“Every painting has been dedicated to you, Jongho. I need the yellows of your warmth, the reds of your anger, the blues of your sadness, the greens of your jealousy. Every color I’ve ever painted has been you, every color I could never imagine is you. You are the sun and the grass. The mystery of the forests and the deepest seas. Paint me with your love. All I want from you is you. Unadulterated, unfiltered, and untethered. I may not be as eloquent as you; my art comes in form of pictures, not words. I could paint you in colors I’ve never seen, but they are so familiar to me. You are so familiar to me. You are my home. Your love is better than any pigment, and I need you just like you need me. I need your lips on mine. I will be your willing canvas.”

Finally, your lips meet, and you feel the universe in his touch. He tastes like chocolate. You are burning in his grasp, yet you are the most comfortable you have ever been. When you pull away for air, he chases you, eyes low, irises painting the world brown. You place a finger to his lips with a laugh, and he sighs, hands cupping your hand, and kisses your finger. You feel red hot. His eyes open fully, taking in the sight of you. 

“You are my stars, my asteroids, my planets. You’re my love belt.”

[joocomics]

ahh ty for responding!! ur like the sweetest ever ughh 😭😭 i actually have a blog rn called lunicho but honestly im not the most proud of the writing on there so im trying to work on my writing before starting up this blog! i'm moving my riize and boynextdoor writing to this blog and leaving the other blog for other groups that i wanna talk about! i'm kinda in a middle stage rn with my writing but i'm kinda getting it figured out!! do you have like a creative process that you go through? like do you plan your fics or anything because i want to become more efficient with my writing, i take a very long time to post and write and i feel so bad :((

giving u all of my love 🥹🥹 also we're both jooyeon girlies so i'll stop by with some pics or thoughts about him soon!!!

of course omg i would love to talk to you more so pls know you’re welcomed here anytime!! 🥹

ahh, good luck with your new blog! i’ll be looking out for your work i’m sure it’s gonna be great ~

tbh i don’t have anything specific that i stick to when it comes to writing… which when i think about it now is kinda strange bc when it comes to other things i always have to have some kind of plan/a list or anything that can guide me so i can be more efficient and productive, but when it comes to writing i just make sure to ALWAYS write down any ideas that come to mind in one document, and when i’m in the mood to write i go through them and pick whatever sparks my creativity in that moment and go from there (yall have no idea how many random conversations i have in my notes that just sit there 🫣)

i’m a mood writer 100% and that’s why i avoid sticking to plans or schedules or i will just get burnt out very quickly if i have to work on something that doesn’t excite me as much as other ideas that day, or if i don’t feel like writing at all, cause i have those days too ofc

i know it’s easier said than done, but don’t ever feel bad or guilty for taking your time with your works!! we’re here to create and have fun, so your own enjoyment and health comes first. try out different creative approaches, see how you’d feel and do what works best for you! i’ve realised that i write easier when i don’t stick to one particular thing/process, but i’m sure there are many ppl who are totally the opposite. don’t be hard on yourself okay, your readers will understand and will still enjoy what you put out <3

i’m rambling now, but i’m gonna share one more thing in case it helps someone? for me the beginning of the story is always challenging and i’ve realised that starting with a dialogue helps me get into it. most times i end up deleting it lol but just writing any kind of dialogue helps me start from somewhere, that’s something i always do if i get stuck on a specific part of the story too… music is also a must when i write! it keeps me inspired, sometimes it gives me ideas too, and i write easier and quicker when i listen to songs that have a similar vibe to what i’m working on

oh this got long sorry 🫣 but that’s all i do tbh nothing special! what about you? ~

omg a fellow jooyeon girly?? WE LOVE 🫶🏼 i rarely receive thoughts about him he deserves our love and attention!! i’m sending u lots of hugs 🥹

[mini-kairyu]

WHOA LOOK IT'S

My ocs! I finally got around to compiling general info about the main ones I have (there are a LOT of others but they're more like named side character/NPCs that get introduced as the story I have for these guys goes on)

Lemme list off the five I have most developed rn, which form the team .wav(E) (pronounced "dot wave"):

Cora

Bold, brash, but quite cute (her words)

A bit of a firecracker

Her curiosity is as vast as her energy and wit

Has the cutest smile

Left the underground since the Inkantation and had spent a significant time adjusting to the surface culture (long before meeting her buddy Luke)

Has a secret passion for dancing, especially pop and hip-hop (very sharp sense of rhythm)

Lives and dies by Slosher. Until she has to pick up a secondary main in Squeezer too. And Tri-slosher. And Wiper.

Does gardening on the side. There are little succulents dotted around her apartment, about 8 in total

Cooks the most often out of the team, specializes in pan-fried dishes and stews

Likes hot tea (prefers herbal over fruit teas tho)

Had a fruit tea drink one time (it was a peach tea) and didn't like it at all. Had a sourness that detracted from the warmth that she normally likes from drinking hot tea, so she avoids them now

Cass

Captain of the team

Full name 'Cassidy', people usually alternate calling her between the two

Most connections to everything

Level-headed, abundant charisma (puts the rizz in charisma haHA), rarely phased by anything

A big sister of sorts to Cora. Cora took to Cass really well when she recruited her and her friend Luke after random queuing in Salmon Run and the like

Flexes anything, but will mostly stick to Blasters. Has been interested in both Tri-Stringer and Reef-lux as of late tho

Works part time at a boba store (the one where the team gathers together fully for the first time)

The boba shop's name is called Roomba Boba, which has little Squee-G bots that roam around and sometimes deliver drinks or carry napkin holders. Naturally, they're also really good at mopping up spills

Has also had many odd jobs in the past, including being a camp counselor at Camp Triggerfish and [CLASSIFIED]

She's really good with kids, always gave me those peppy young adult/senior-in-high-school vibes that always know how to hype up a crowd

Cooks just as well as Cora, but feels more in tune with baking than cooking. She comes over to her apartment to help make meals sometimes.

Tobias

Neighbor and teammate of Cora, whom he develops a firm kinship with since their first encounter at the first team meetup

Also goes by 'Tobes' or 'Tobo'

Looks reserved, but is very easy and sociable to talk with

Did stakeout in the military, and thus has the worst sleep schedule of the team out of habit

Loves tea as well, especially herbal tea. Has a dislike for coffee though.

Favors backliners as per his role on the team, but is also killer with Octobrush and Stamper

Works part-time at Ammo Knights (weapons maintenance)

Gives the best hugs

Enjoys meticulous work such as mechanical tinkering and Gundam building

Likes to take off his glasses when he's eating or needs to decompress

Luke

Cora's Turf and Salmon Run buddy prior to forming .wav(E) with Cass

Favors Brellas

The least composed of the team, screams a lot when jumped in battle

Overall, is one the that gets meme'd on the most lmao

Favorite candy is pop rocks. This information revolts Cora and Tobes.

Likes learning and making mixed drinks in his free time

Incidentally, is the heaviest drinker of the bunch

Microwave dinner degenerate lol

Loves Clam Blitz so much, he'll even play it on his own (pain and misery)

Rooms with a bunch of other rando inklings who aren't home often

Wears nail polish the most often out of all the members (the others like to as well, but not always since they get lazy sometimes)

Hira

Joins very late to the group (about halfway through the gang's Splatoon 3 arc), but signifies a meaningful development for most of the peeps

A reflection of "sweaty try-hards" who complain and tilt over their teammates (Me that was me, for a while....a dark time....)

Sweaty dualies main, is proficient with most dualies

Has a swear and an insult for every time something goes wrong in a match, especially when random queuing

Incidentally, has the biggest potty mouth out of everyone

Has a soft spot for strawberry milk (it calms her down)

Will sit down with a book or even a manga from time to time

Is actually very down to earth outside of league battling and has an overall calm and kind personality, albeit a bit cynical at times

About her encounter with .wav(E): Cass finds her at Roomba Boba one day (the boba shop she works at) and notices her being super down

So she sits with her and listens to her problem. It was a rather personal rmoment for her.

Hira's time in .wav(E) will be crucial to her improvement as a player mentally, not just mechanically, especially considering what happened with her last team

Much of her personal growth is inspired by the time she spends bonding with Cora, who also ends up being positively influenced in various ways

Rumors among the Octarians tell of a battalion that had fallen tragically in a battle with outside factions prior to the Inkantation Inkcident; nearly all members wiped out due to poor negligence and ill preparation. The few that were skilled enough to survive the ordeal moved on to serve and be decorated with honors among their newer ilk. Their festering resentment towards incompetence and inefficiency remained even after liberation, however.

[awetistic-things]

hello! I believe im autistic but I don’t have a special interest. I don’t have any specific 1 thing that im completely passionate about. I mean, maybe psychology but isn’t that too broad? idk. I need to consult someone autistic themselves bc im a minor and I can’t get a therapist and probably can’t convince my parents to get me a diagnosis. my mother thinks I just have high anxiety and ocd. I definitely have dermatillamania though. here’s some of my symptoms:

Persistent deficits in social communication and social interaction across multiple contexts; I go nonverbal when I’m anxious/stressed/in a social situation where I’m being forced to talk to or interact w someone.

Restricted, repetitive patterns of behavior, interests, or activities; i do really like sameness but I’m also super impulsive and love changing thing up that don’t have a lot of value to me. for example I would go on a trip to Chicago rn with my friends if I had the means and they wanted to but I’m not changing the way I write my notes or cleaning my room

I have a hard time understanding figurative language and kind of obsessively overanalyze most things that I don’t understand

maybe it’s a mix of me being weird, ocd, and high anxiety that’s been present for my entire life and that I also can’t pinpoint the reason for. or maybe I’m autistic. I know you can’t diagnose a stranger on the internet from a couple paragraphs and I’m sorry if this is too much info.

I’m staying anonymous for my safety but my pronouns are they/it!

hi!

okay, so for starters i'm just gonna share with you some of the articles that helped me essentially start me on my journey of "oh shit i'm autistic" and my own two cents for each statement you made

---------

social interaction:

What Is Social Interaction In Autism - AutismTalkClub.com

i personally relate to the "non-verbal" part of what you said. I tend to lose the ability to speak whenever i am overwhelmed due to environmental factors (senses being overstimulated), but there are many other reasons (sometimes due to masking)

being overwhelmed in social situations is really easy for me personally. mainly because of sesnory issues, masking, resisting the urge to stim, etc and this can set me off into having meltdowns among other things

--------

repetitive behaviors:

Restrictive and Repetitive Behavior | Kennedy Krieger Institute

having a schedule is really important to a lot of people on the spectrum, it can help create some calmness in constant chaos

but, sometimes (such as myself) it is nice to be spontaneous and just do random shit without planning or a schedule or anything

so although repetitive behaviors are an autistic thing, the flexibility can differ depending on the person (emphasize on its a *spectrum*)

---------

language misunderstandings:

Whose metaphor? Autism Spectrum Disorder and metaphorization (metnetscandinavia.com)

that metaphor doesn't necessarily make sense to me, but just in case it makes sense for you there it is

about overanalyzing i totally get that. something I've noticed is that autistic people tend to question "basic" rules and social hierarchies so becoming obsessed with asking "why?' questions is very relatable to say the least

i dont really struggle that much with more everyday metaphors and I love analogies, but once again its a spectrum and I still very much need tone tags to avoid misunderstandings between both parties

-------

the way i figured out i was autistic was through research, research, research. at first I thought that meant clinical studies and such but it also means learning from the community itself, so its cool that you thought to do that (I wish I thought of that immediately)

also about how you don't really have ONE thing for a special interest, that's something normal from what I've seen. you don't have to know everything about something to have it be a special interest. you don't have to have known about it for years or an extremely long period of time. its really an individual thing for how you view hyperfixations and sp.ins (special interests). so, if you think that psychology is a sp.in of yours, then its a sp.in. its really up to you

all the things i sent you arent to diagnose you, but involving yourself in the community, researching a lot, or calling yourself/self-diagnosining yourself as autistic is okay. its perfectly okay. i know you said that because of your age and your parents you arent able to get a diagnosis at this time, but don't let that stop you from finding out more (even if its not with a therapist or your parents) about autism and essentially about who you are

im always free to dm, so please reach out to me if you want to talk (doesn't have to be just about autism) :) /gen (also my discord server for autistic people is linked in my pinned post if you wanna check it out)

[thecolorsfucked]

i think imma delete tinder again nbs like these apps are soooooo garbage rn i used to avoid tinder and mostly used okc cuz ppl on there tended to be like not just looking for on deliver free no effort sex but they ended up just lowkey becoming a less used tinder???? bumble is for white ppl in khakis and hinge is..weird and has a lot of the same ppl anyway like ive never had this much of an issue scheduling civvie dates before like ever like regardless of how i looked or my self esteem any of that but litcherally since like the panini its been just at best u get a hookup who wants to be outside before yall bang but mostly i get like yeah lets smoke and order doordash 😏 or they ghost before the meet/right after a first date and then pop back up months later to try to repeat the process?????? like i Do Not Understand like sir ur preventing ur own nut ur literally causing urself to not nut