#bUT i am also so v interested in what arthur might have got up to after the gang split up!

[wildlcck]

ARTHUR (@pursued-by-a-memory): [ SHIELD ] (sender catches hold of receiver's shoulder and draws them back and away from a threat, pulling them behind them for their safety) x

her mind had been wandering to dangerous, bittersweet territory again. as it does, on these quieter, slower days. so too had she, haunted haunting aimlessly, towns and faces and talk and persons blurring into one big, pointless, senseless mass. unbeknown to her, one of the gentlemen she'd earlier had the displeasure of dealing with- an opportunity gone south- had been tailing her for some time now. her daydreaming is shattered at the touch of a hand on her shoulder and in a heartbeat, she's whirling 'round, ready to- ❛ get your hand offa me before i stick it- ❜ then, there's a glimpse- doubt, at first. confusion. then, recognition. and remembrance- in her narrowed, sharp eyes, before she takes advantage of this interruption, lunging forward and dealing a harsh strike to their company's temple, swift and efficient, with the handle of her revolver. she watches him crumple to the ground with some satisfaction, before spitting on his lifeless form. just to add insult to injury. ❛ arthur morgan?! as i live and breathe... ❜ with a disbelieving little laugh and a warm smile, she gives his shoulder a rough pat, before drawing him into a fond, glad embrace. ❛ all this time... an' we're still dealin' with pests, huh? how the hell have you been? ❜ she prises a blade from their unconscious companion's clutches, peering at and admiring the detail on the handle, before offering it to arthur. ❛ here you go- a little somethin' to mark the occasion. it ain't like he's in a position to argue. serves him right, too- the fool should've known better than to bring a knife to a gunfight. or, pick a fight with me... what do you say we leave this son of a bitch to stew in his own piss and go get ourselves a drink? i'd say we've earned it. do we got some catchin' up to do... ❜

[lxclerc]

𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧𝐯𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐠𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 ─ 𝐨𝐛𝟑𝟖

summary: when max verstappen’s adopted little sister starts soft launching, the whole grid launches an investigation on who it might be

pairing: ollie bearman x f2 driver! max verstappen’s adopted sister! reader

faceclaim: no one in particular

note: i accidentally published this before it was finish so now i’ve completely lost the request but anyways the request really was just about max being reader’s grid dad but i ran with it a little

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ twitter

.ೃ࿐ yourusername posted on her story!

landonorris replied to your story: it’s like you have a death wish

yourusername: shut up

landonorris: rest in peace to the unlucky guy 🫡

arthur_leclerc replied to your story: soft launching knowing mad max is your warden is insaneee

yourusername: i just got that dog in me ig

arthur_leclerc: never ever say that again

paularon_ replied to your story: so long, ollie. it was good knowing you, mate ✊

yourusername: so dramatic for no reason

maxverstappen1 replied to your story: that better be just be some stranger you picked up on the side of the road to tie your shoelaces and not a boy you went around japan with when you told me you were only going out with your team

yourusername: remember that you love and adore me and i am 17 years old and can make my own decisions

maxverstappen1: nice try. who is he?

yourusername: no ❤️

ੈ✩‧₊˚ messages

ੈ✩‧₊˚ instagram

liked by olliebearman, maxverstappen1, paularon_ and others

yourusername suzuka, youve been very nice to me 🫶

view all comments…

user1 the way she ran to max’s arms after the podium 🥹

user2 a red bull girl with her red bull dad

user3 so we’re not going to talk about the 3rd pic?

maxverstappen1 who is he and why are you going on dates without telling anyone? what if something happens to you and no one knows where you are or who you’re with?

↳ yourusername calm down, we were with the team 🙄

↳ user4 overprotective dad max is so adorable i cant lie

↳ user5 if they were with the team, does that mean the guy’s also part of the team? another driver maybe?

↳ user6 user5 youre onto something

victoriaverstappen je bent geweldig, mijn meisje. blijf stralen ❤️ (you are amazing, my girl. keep on shining.)

↳ yourusername ik hou zielsveel van je, v 💕 (i love and adore you to bits, v)

paularon_ congrats or whatever

↳ yourusername jealousy doesnt suit you

↳ paularon_ nvm fck u 💕

arthur_leclerc stop winning

↳ yourusername get a seat first ❤️

olliebearman congratulations, yn! another trophy to bring home ❤️

↳ yourusername thank you, ollie!

use7 the difference between paul and arthur then ollie bye i love their friendship 😭

landonorris girlll who is heeeee

↳ yourusername no ❤️

↳ charles_leclerc come on, at least give us a clue

↳ carlossainz55 is he also a driver? what team does he driver for?

↳ yourusername yall are grown ass men way too interested in a teenager’s love life. absorb some sunlight

↳ user8 she gagged yall im afraid 😭

ੈ✩‧₊˚ messages

ੈ✩‧₊˚ instagram

liked by olliebearman, paularon_, arthur_leclerc and others

yourusername hello, lover ❤️

view all comments…

olliebearman my girl ❤️❤️

olliebearman love you to the moon and to saturn 💫

↳ yourusername buzz lightyear’s got nothing on us frfr

↳ arthur_leclerc why can’t you be normal?

↳ yourusername ollie loves me with all the weirdness and shit

↳ olliebearman yeah that’s about right

↳ arthur_leclerc 🤮🤮

↳ user1 arthur is your regular third wheel bff

paularon_ ollie’s trying to keep his cool in the comments but he’s red as a tomato

↳ olliebearman shut the hell up no im not

↳ yourusername youre not? 🥹

↳ olliebearman i mean of course i am got me giggling and shit too

↳ paularon_ you’re both disgusting

user2 arthur and paul are so over them 😭

user3 i fucking knew the back of that head was familiar!!!!

user4 oh? OH!

user5 idk what hurts more. the fact that i no longer have a chance with ollie or the fact that i no longer have a chance with yn

user6 waiting for max’s comment

maxverstappen1 you better watch it the next time you step in for either carlos or charles, bearman 🙂

↳ yourusername you promised

↳ maxverstappen1 i promise i’ll carve charles’ appendix out myself so ollie and i can face each other on track man to man

↳ olliebearman i- sir?

↳ charles_leclerc mate, what the fuck did i do to you

↳ yourusername maxie come on. you promised me you’d be nice

↳ maxverstappen1 fine 🙄

maxverstappen1 dinner’s at 8 on tuesday. don’t be late

↳ olliebearman yes, sir 🫡

user7 not charles getting dragged into it 😭😭

↳ user8 max is just completely unable to go through a conversation without mentioning charles ♡ liked by yourusername

liked by victoriaverstappen, olliebearman and others

yourusername it was truly unfortunate for max to find out that his cat is also now in love with ollie

view all comments…

user1 omg sophie and victoria also joined the dinner 😭

↳ user2 girlie really introduced her to the whole family

↳ yourusername well actually max invited them along to try and intimidate ollie but jokes on him, they loved him

↳ user3 yn and ollie to max when vic and sophie ended up loving ollie: oh how the turntables

maxverstappen1 sassy is NOT in love with a ferrari driver

↳ yourusername one thing you, sassy and i have in common with

↳ user4 yn truly is just a lestappen truther

olliebearman sassy 🫶

↳ yourusername oh i guess ill just die then

↳ olliebearman my love beautiful angel girlfriend yn ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

↳ yourusername better

↳ arthur_leclerc did you just get jealous over a cat?

↳ yourusername did you really just lose your seat?

↳ yourusername it’ll get old when you get your seat back

↳ arthur_leclerc that’s getting old 🙄

user5 each and every day, arthur tries to come for yn’s neck and each and every day, yn gags him

paularon_ olliebearman in a scale of 1-10, how scary is it to face mad max head on?

↳ olliebearman just peachy 👍 (i nearly shat my pants)

charles_leclerc does this mean that max’s promise is null and void?

↳ maxverstappen1 none of you figured out who it is 🤷

↳ yourusername what promise?

↳ maxverstappen1 ….nothing

landonorris i can’t believe we didn’t figure out it’d be bearman

↳ george_russell it seems so obvious now

↳ alex_albon i asked him straight on and he lied to my face

↳ olliebearman i was terrified max would find a way to run me over with his rocketship if i even dare utter it

↳ alex_albon yk what absolutely valid

also this turned out wayy longer than i meant it to which is why it took so long.

[bg3kagha]

Adult Jack Marston hc’s

[rolls up sleeves] fine, I’ll do it myself--

within a relationship, I feel like he’d probably be rather argumentative, especially early on. He’s angry at the world and at himself, and seems to be prone to lashing out and being rather passive aggressive in-game. And I think he needs to be held accountable for that, while he works through all the fears and frustrations he’s carrying.

his lines to sex workers often get mocked for being awkward and embarrassing - quite rightly - but I think they’re also rather disrespectful. He has a tendency towards being rude and, ngl, saying “I hope you like it rough” to a sex worker who canonically is not interested in him is... gross. v. unpleasant. his attempts at ‘flirting’ aren’t attractive, and don’t do him any favours in pulling. It’s him being a dumb 19 year old.

ironically, however, he is actually rather capable of being charming, given that he has lines of dialogue when played with high honour where he’s polite to women (he meticulously remembers to address women with the appropriate honorific - ma’am or miss). (plus, making jokes like “and they say romance is dead” (when hogtying a woman) & “let me take your coat, madam” (when skinning an animal) make me think he’s aware of romantic conventions, and could be able to pull off more conventional flirting if confident enough to do so). But it’s just almost accidental on his part.

I think, therefore, that Jack’s relationships will be hugely moulded by how confident he is. He seems to have a lot of self-doubt & insecurities, which get in the way of his ability to communicate properly. He’s also high strung, and can come across as entitled and self-important. He desperately needs validation, and can resort to anger when he doesn’t get what he wants. a good, tastey Jack ship really should rely on a back and forth, or tug of war, between attraction and frustration. Jack being rude or entitled should not to be gratified, but likewise, he needs support and praise where it’s deserved.

I feel like any relationship would be an incredible slow-burner; he would likely shoot himself in the foot by saying some stupid shit and pushing his luck (“they tell me I'm at my sexual peak, sweetheart” / “I hope you're as aroused as I am” / “you got me feeling all funny inside” / “I'd give anything to be that petticoat right now” / “I could bring a smile to your face”) and get snubbed, and not really have the confidence to actually be intimate and genuine with the person.

I do like the idea of the person he’s with taking the lead -- perhaps being the one to initiate things. Give him all the praise and physical touch he needs.

he mentions depending on alcohol once or twice (referring to alcohol as “the freedom to forget our troubles”) which makes me think he is perhaps self-medicating his depression with alcoholism.

I like the idea that he doesn’t really do bounty hunting all that much going forward. Sure, he has his fathers’ skills (and guns), and he seems to have sought out adventure like that as a child -- but he was a child. Let him pursue carpentry and writing, and farming and ranching if he wants to. I feel like often he’s put in the position his father occupied, ignoring the fact that that position very clearly came at a steep cost - and it was one that John and Abigail (and Arthur et al.) desperately wanted Jack to avoid. 

I also like the idea of Jack getting out of the West, maybe out of America entirely. at the moment, he’s completely alone in the shadow of a time and place that is largely dead by the point where he reaches maturity - we literally take control of him at the outbreak of WW1, the ‘death’ of the ‘old world’. It’d be cute if he maybe met someone from a totally separate environment, rather than being haunted by ghosts and memories forever.

Jack absolutely does not serve in WW1 - he’d dodge the draft if he had to, but I do not think he’d even get drafted, as a single home-owner of a ranch, he might well avoid it, if they track him down at all. If he had kids, they might serve in WW2, though. big oof.

in general I’m not looking forward to Jack in the 1930s; he’s got the Great Depression, the Dust Bowl, eugenics and fascism are rife ......... HONEY, YOU GOT A BIG STORM COMIN’

altho... my kingdom for Jack Marston ship fic that is conscientious of social etiquette of the period. Mostly bc it creates for delectable drama and pining potential.

[itonje]

people of color in arthurian legend masterpost

hi! some people said it would be cool if i did this, and this is something i find interesting so. yeah! are you interested in king arthur and the knights of the round table? do you like to read about characters of color, especially in older lit? well, i hope this can be a good resource for people to get into stuff like that, especially poc/ethnic minorities who might feel uncomfortable or lonely getting into older media like arthuriana. this post is friendly to both those who prefer medieval lit and those who prefer modern stuff!

disclaimers: i am not a medievalist nor a race theorist! very much not so. i am just a 17 year old asian creature on the internet who wants to have an easy-to-reference post, if i’m not comprehensive enough please inform me. i’m going to stay closely to the matter of britain, as well, not all medieval european literature as a. this is what i’m more familiar with and b. there’s so much content and information and context to go along with it that it would really be impossible to put it all into one tumblr post. (however there’s always going to be overlap!) also, please do not treat me or any other person of color/ethnic minority as a singular all-knowing authority on anything! we’re all trying to have fun here and being made into an information machine on things, especially what is and isn’t offensive isn’t fun. with that out of the way, let’s get into it! (under cut for length!) 

part i: some historical context (tw for racism and antisemitism discussion)

fair warning, i’m going to start off with some discussions of more heavier history before we talk about more fun stuff. while pre colonial racism was far more different than how it is today, there still...was racism. and it’s important to understand the social mien around nonwhite people in europe at the time these works were written. 

to understand how marginalized ethnicities were written in medieval european literature, you have to understand the fact that religion, specifically catholicism, was a very important part of medieval european life. already, catholicism has violent tenets (ie, conversion as an inherent part of the church, as well as many antisemitic theologies and beliefs), but this violence worsened when an event known as the crusades happened.

the crusades were a series of religious wars started by the catholic church to ‘reclaim’ the holy land from islamic rule and to aid the byzantine empire. while i won’t go into the full history of the crusades, (some basic info here and here and here) its important to understand that they had strengthened the european view of the ’pagan’ (ie: not european christian) world as an ‘other’, a threat to christiandom that needed to be conquered and converted, for the spiritual benefit of both the convertee and the converter. these ideas of ethnoreligious superiority and conversion would permeate into the literature of the time written by european christians. 

even today, the crusades are very much associated with white supremacy and modern islamophobic sentiment, with words such as ‘deus vult’ as a dogwhistle, and worship of and willingness to emulate the violence the crusaders used against the inhabitants of the holy land in tradcath spaces, so this isn’t stuff that’s all dead and in the past. crusader propaganda and the ignorance on the violence of the catholic church and the crusaders on muslim and jewish populations (as well as nonwhite christians ofc) is very harmful. arthuriana itself has a lot of links to white supremacy too-thanks to @/to-many-towered-camelot for this informative post. none of this stuff exists in a bubble. 

here’s a book on catholic antisemitism, here’s a book on orientalism, here’s a book about racism in history that touches on the crusades. (to any catholic, i highly reccommend you read the first.)

with that out of the way, we can talk about the various not european groups that typically show up in arthurian literature and some historical background irt to that. the terms ‘moor’ and ‘saracen’ will typically pop up. both terms are exonyms and are very, very broad, eventually used as both a general term for muslims and as a general term for african and (western + central) asian people. they’re very vague, but when you encounter them the typical understanding you’re supposed to take away is ‘(western asian/african) foreigner’ and typically muslim/not christian as well. t

generally, african and asian lands will typically be referred to as pagan or ‘eastern/foreign’ lands, with little regard for understanding the actual religions of that area. they will also typically refer to saracens as pagans although islam is not a pagan religion. this is just a bit of a disclaimer. the term saracen itself is considered to be rather offensive-thank you to @/lesbianlanval for sending me a paper on this subject. 

while i typically refer to the content on this post as having to pertain to african and asian people (ie, not european) european jewish arthurian traditions are included on this post too. but, i know more about poc and they’ll feature more prominently in this post because of that, lol. 

part ii: so, are there any medieval texts involving characters of color?

i’m glad you asked! of course there are! to be clear, european medieval authors were very much aware that people of color and african + asian nations existed, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. even the vita merlini mentions sri lanka and a set of islands that might (?) be the philippines!! for the sake of brevity though, on this list i’m not going to list every single one of these small and frequent references, so i’m just going to focus on texts that primarily (or notably) feature characters of color. 

first of all, it’s important to know was the influence of cultures of color and marginalized ethnicities that helped shape arthurian legend. the cultural exchange between europe and the islamic world during the crusades, as well as the long history of arab presence in southern europe, led to the influence of arabic love poetry and concepts of love on european literature, helping to form what we consider the archetypal romance. there are also arthurian traditions in hebrew, and yiddish too, adding new cultural ideas and introducing new story elements to their literature-all of these are just as crucial to the matter of britain as any other traditions!

when it comes to nonwhite presence in the works themselves, many knights of color in arthurian legend tend to be characters that, after defeated by a knight of arthur’s court join the court themselves. though some are side characters, there are others with their own romances and stories devoted to them! many of them are portrayed as capable + good as, if not better than their counterparts. (this, however, usually only comes through conversion to christianity if the knight is not christian...yeah.) though groups of color as a general monolith created by european christians tended to be orientalized in literature (see: mystical and strange ~eastern~ lands), many individual knights were written to be seen by their medieval audience as positive heroes. i’m going to try to stick to mostly individual character portrayals such as these. 

with that all said though, these characters can still be taken as offensive (i would consider most to be) in their writing, so take everything with a grain of salt here. i will also include links to as many english translations of texts as i can, as well as note which ones i think are beginner friendly to those on the fence about medieval literature!

he shows up in too many texts so let’s make this into two bullet notes and start with one of, if not the most ubiquitous knight of color of the round table (at least in medieval lit),-palamedes! palamedes/palomides is a ‘’saracen knight’’ who (typically) hails from babylon or palestine and shows up in a good amount of texts. his first appearance is in the prose tristan, and he plays a major role there as a knight who fights with tristan for the hand of iseult-while he uh. loses, him and tristan later become companions + friends with a rivalry, and palamedes later goes off to hunt the questing beast, a re-occurring trend in his story. 

palamedes even got his own romance named after him (which was very popular!) and details the adventures of the fathers of the knights of the round table, pre arthur, as well as later parts of the story detailing the adventures of their sons. it was included in rustichello da pisa’s compilation of arthurian romances, which i unfortunately have not seen floating around online (or...anywhere), so i can’t attest to the quality of it or anything. he appears in le morte darthur as well, slaying the questing beast but only after his conversion to christianity (...yeah.) in the texts in which he appears, palamedes is considered to be one of the top knights of the round table, alongside tristan and lancelot, fully living up to chivalric and courtly ideals and then some. i love him dearly and i’ve read the prose tristan five times just for him. (also the prose tristan in general is good, please give it a try, especially if you’re a romance fan.)

speaking of le morte d’arthur, an egyptian knight named priamus shows up in the lucius v arthur episode on lucius’ side first, later joining arthur’s after some interactions with gawaine. palamedes has brothers here as well-safir and segwarides. safir was relatively popular, and shows up in many medieval texts, mostly alongside his older brother. i wouldn’t recommend reading le morte of all things for the characters of color though-if you really want to see what it’s all about, just skip to the parts they’re mentioned with ctrl + f, haha. 

the romance of moriaen is a 12th century dutch romance from the lancelot compilation, named for its main character morien. morien, who is a black moor, is the son of sir aglovale, the brother of perceval. whilst gawaine and lancelot are searching for said perceval, they encounter morien, who is in turn searching for aglovale as he had abandoned morien’s mother way back when. i wholeheartedly recommend this text for people who might feel uncomfy with medieval lit. though the translation i’ve linked can be a bit tricky, the story is short, sweet, and easy to follow, and morien and his relationships (esp with gariet, gawaine’s brother) are all wonderful. 

king artus (original hebrew text here) is a northern italian jewish arthurian text written in hebrew- it retells a bit of the typical conception of arthur story, as well as some parts from the death of arthur as well. i really can’t recommend this text enough-it’s quite short, with an easy-to-read english translation, going over episodes that are pretty familiar to any average reader while adding a lot of fun details and it’s VERY interesting to me from a cultural standpoint. i find the way how they adapt the holy grail (one of the most archetypal christian motifs ever) in particular pretty amazing. this is also a very beginner friendly text! 

wolfram von eschenbach’s parzival (link to volume 1 and volume 2-this translation rhymes!) is a medieval high german romance from the early 13th century, based off de troyes’ le conte du graal while greatly expanding on the original story. it concerns parzival and his quest for the grail (with a rather unique take on it-he fails at first!), and also takes like one million detours to talk about gawaine as all arthurian lit does. the prominent character of color here is a noble mixed race knight called feirefiz, parzival’s half brother by his father, who after dueling with parzival, and figures out their familial connection, joins him on his grail quest. he eventually converts to christianity (..yeah.) to see the grail and all ends happily for him. however, this text is notable to me as it contains two named women of color-belacane, feirefiz’s black african mother, and secundilla, feirefiz’s indian wife. though unfortunately, both are pretty screwed over by the text and their respective husbands. though parzival is maybe my favorite medieval text i’ve read so far i don’t necessarily know if i’d recommend this one, because it is long, and can be confusing at times. however, i do think that when it comes to the portrayal of people of color, while quite poor by today’s standards, von eschenbach was trying his best?-of course, in reason for. a 13th century medival german christian but he treats them with respect and all these characters are actually characters. if you’re really interested in grail stories (and are aware of the more uncomfortably christian aspects of the grail story), and you like gawaine and perceval, i’d say go for it. 

in the turk and sir gawain, an english poem from the early 16th century, gawaine and the titular turkish man play a game of tennis ball. i’m shitting you not. this text is pretty short, funnily absurd, and with most of the hallmarks of a typical quest (various challenges culminating in some castle being freed), so it’s an easier read. it’s unclear to me, but at the end of the story the turkish man turns into sir gromer, a noble knight, who may or may not be white which uh. consider my ‘....yeah’ typical at this point, but i don’t personally read it that way for my own sanity. also he throws the sultan (??) of the isle of man (????) into a cauldron for not being a christian so when it comes to respectful representation of poc this one doesn’t make it, but it does make this list. 

the revenge of ragisel, or at least the version i’ve read (the eng translation of the dutch version from the lancelot compilation), die wrake van ragisel, starts off being about the mysterious murder of a knight, but eventually, as most stories do, becomes a varying series of adventures about gawaine and co. one of gawaine’s friends (see: a knight who he combated with for a hot sec and then became friends and allies with, as you do) is a black knight named maurus! he’s not really an mc, but he features prominently and he’s pretty entertaining, as all the characters in this are. i also recommend this highly, i was laughing the whole time reading it! it’s not too long and pretty wild, you’ll have a good romp. this is a good starter text for anyone in general!

i’ve not read the roman van walewein, which, as it says on the tin, is a 12th century dutch romance concerning some deeds of gawaine (if only gawaine was a canon poc, i wouldn’t need to make this list because he’s so popular...). i’m putting it on the list for in this, gawaine goes to the far eastern land of endi (india) and romances a princess named ysabele. i can’t speak to ysabele’s character or the respectfulness of her kingdom or representation, but i know she’s a major character and her story ends pretty well, so that’s encouraging. women of color, especially fleshed out woc, are pretty rare in arthurian lit. i’ve also heard the story itself is pretty wild, and includes a fox, which sounds pretty exciting to me!

now the next two things i’m going to mention aren’t really? texts that feature characters of color or jewish characters, but are rather more notable for being translations of existing texts into certain languages. wigalois is a german 13th century romances featuring the titular character (the son of, you guessed it, gawaine!) and his deeds. the second, jaufre, is the only arthurian romance written in occitan, and is a quite long work about the adventures of the knight jaufre, based on the knight griflet. what’s notable about these two works is that wigalois has a yiddish translation, and jaufre has a tagalog translation. wigalois’ yiddish translation in particular changed the original german text into something more fitting of the arthurian romance format as well as adding elements to make it more appealing for a jewish audience. the tagalog translation of jaufre on the other hand was not medieval, only coming about in 1900, but the philippines has had a long history of romantic tradition and verse writing, so i’m curious to see if it too adds or changes elements when it comes to the arthurian story, but i can’t find a lot on the tagalog version of jaufre unfortunately-i hope i can eventually!

this list of texts is also non-exhaustive! i’m just listing a couple of notoriety, and some to start with. 

part iii: papers and academic analysis

so here’s just a dump of various papers i’ve read and collected on topics such as these-this is an inexhaustive and non-comprehensive list! if you have any papers you think are good and would like to be added here, shoot me an ask. i’ll try to include a link when i can, but if it’s unavailable to you just message me. * starred are the ones i really think people, especially white people, should at least try to read. 

Swank, Kris. ‘Black in Camelot: Race and Ethnicity in Arthurian Legend’ *

Harrill, Claire. ‘Saracens and racial Otherness in Middle English * Romance’

Keita, Maghan. ‘Saracens and Black Knights’ 

Hoffman, Donald L. ‘Assimilating Saracens: The Aliens in Malory's ‘Morte Darthur’

Goodrich, Peter H. ‘Saracens and Islamic Alterity in Malory's ‘Le Morte Darthur’

Schultz, Annie. ‘Forbidden Love: The Arabic Influence on the Courtly Love Poetry of Medieval Europe’ *

Hardman, Philipa. ‘Dear Enemies: the Motif of the Converted Saracen and Sir Gawain and the Green Knight’

Knowles, Annie. ‘Encounters of the Arabian Kind: Cultural Exchange and Identity the Tristans of Medieval France, England, and Spain’ *

Hermes, Nizar F. ‘King Arthur in the Lands of the Saracens’ *

Ayed, Wajih. ‘Somatic Figurations of the Saracen in Sir Thomas Malory’s Le Morte Darthur’

Herde, Christopher M. ‘A new fantasy of crusade: Sarras in the vulgate cycle.’ *

Rovang, Paul R. ‘Hebraizing Arthurian Romance: The Originality of ‘Melech Artus.’’

Rajabzdeh, Shokoofeh. ‘The Depoliticized Saracen and Muslim erasure’ *

Holbrook, Sue Ellen. ‘To the Well: Malory's Sir Palomides on Ideals of Chivalric Reputation, Male Friendship, Romantic Love, Religious Conversion—and Loyalty.’ *

Lumbley, Coral. ‘Geoffrey of Monmouth and Race’ *

Oehme, Annegret. ‘Adapting Arthur. The Transformations and Adaptations of Wirnt von Grafenberg’s Wigalois’ *

Hendrix, Erik. ‘An Unlikely Hero: The Romance of Moriaen and Racial Discursivity in the Middle Ages’ *

Darrup, Cathy C. ‘Gender, Skin Color, and the Power of Place in the Medieval Dutch Romance of Moriaen’ *

Armstrong, Dorsey. ‘Postcolonial Palomides: Malory's Saracen Knight and the Unmaking of Arthurian Community’ (note this is the only one i can’t access in its entirety)

part iv: supplemental material

here’s some other stuff i find useful to getting to know knights of color in arthurian legend, especially if papers/academic stuff/medieval literature is daunting! i’d really recommend you go through all of these if you can’t go through anything else-most are quick reads. 

a magazine article on knights of color here, and this article about the yiddish translation of wigalois. 

this video about characters of color in arthurian legend!

the performance of the translation of arabic in Libro del Caballero Zifar, and how it pertains to the matter of britain 

a post by yours truly about women of color in parzival

this info sheet about palamedes, and this info sheet about ysabele-thanks to @/pendraegon and @/reynier for letting me use these!

this page on palamedes as well

this post with various resources on race and ethnicity in arthuriana-another thank you to @/reynier! 

part v: how about modern day stories and adaptations?

there’s a lot of em out there! i’m not as familiar with modern stuff, but i will try to recommend medias i know where characters of color (including racebends!) are prominent. since i haven’t read/watched all (or truly most) of these, i can’t really speak on the quality of the representation though, so that’s your warning. 

first of all, when it comes to the victorian arthurian revival, i know that william morris really liked palamedes! (don’t we all.) he features frequently in morris’ arthurian poetry, (in this beautiful book, he primarily features in ‘sir galahad, a christmas mystery’ and ‘king arthur’s tomb’. he has his own poem by morris here.)

and some other poems about palamedes, which i’d all recommend. 

for movies, i know a knight in camelot (1998) stars whoopi goldberg as an original character, the green knight (2021) will star dev patel as gawaine. 

some shows include camelot high, bbc merlin, disney’s once upon a time, and netflix’s cursed, all featuring both original characters of color and people of color cast as known arthurian figures. 

for any music people, in ‘high noon over camelot’, an album by the mechanisms, mordred is played by ashes o’reilley, who in turn is performed by frank voss, and arthur is played by marius von raum who is perfomed by kofi young. 

i’ve also heard the pendragon and the squire’s tales have palamedes as a relevant character if you’re looking for novels, as well as legendborn and the forgotten knight: a chinese warrior in king arthur’s court starring original protagonists of color! 

part vi: going on from here

so, you’ve read some medieval lit, read some papers, watched some shows, and done all that. what now? well, there’s still so much out there! 

if you have fanfiction, analysis, metaposts, fun content etc etc about arthurian poc, feel free to plug your content on this post! i’d be happy to boost it. 

in general, if you’re a person of color or a jewish person and you’re into arthurian legend, feel free to promote your blog on this post as well! i would love to know more people active on arthurian tumblr who are nonwhite. 

this is really just me asking for extra content, especially content made by poc, but that’s okay! arthurian legend is a living, breathing set of canons and i would love love love to see more fresh diversity within them right alongside the older stuff. 

a very gracious thank you to the tumblr users whom i linked posts to on here, and thanks to y’all for saying you want to see this! i hope this post helped people learn some new things! 

[reddeadreference]

Blog Progress Update (Travel Blog Style? #16)

I forgot to shave before passing out in the street… damn it.. 

Also I love (and hate) the idea that this guy just found me in the street and decided to DRAG me to the doctors (or maybe he just dragged me out of the middle of the road… cause he does try to get Arthur to wake up and the doc isn't far from where we fell over)

"Not good news" Yep here come the water works.

I made a gif, i’m sure there’s a bunch of these out there of this but I made one anyway..

I'm sure the game didn't think I would actually choose to leave the horses after taking the canoe up river and actually WALK all the way to the cave judging by how Arthur and Charles were yelling despite walking a foot apart. 

But guess what game, I just needed to take a long walk through spooky woods with my boy, the only guy (okay one of two cause John counts but he's not here right now) that has my damn back in this damn camp. 

It was actually rather relaxing… if I didn't think about where we're going or where we were or the fact that Arthur is DYING (I'm not okay)

Damn it the last mission in chapter 5 is just full of so many "oh shit" moments where I remember or hear a line that reminds me what's about to happen. Bringing Meredith home I almost started crying, hearing Molly I had to pause and take breath first… this game is so well done to provoke emotions like this even after years and knowing what’s coming

Oof and the music "I did… I told them!" And the music just gets so much darker and dramatic and UGH I don't like this pain. Yelling at my screen "no she didn't! She's drunk! Susan no!!!" DX but fuck man… she's so heartbroken she's lying so he'll shoot her and/or she's lying cause she knows it'll hurt him cause he’s hurt her… I hate it. 

The fact that Molly didn't get a fucking grave and that they didn't bury her but burned her… I know they didn't know… but she deserved better… and the fact that the chapter screen pops up on that image…

Chapter 6: loads in

Me: I hate it here...

Dutch is giving a speech… does he even realize NO ONE is looking at him. Like for his other speeches he had people stop and turn to look or walk over to listen… I think everyone has realized his speeches are just the same. He'd throw himself in the ground in their stead. Yeah, we got it Dutch…

Basically saying pick his side… dude there shouldn't be sides in the first place. You're a self fulfilling prophecy my man… 

Also seeing how the list in my “people” folder for camp stuff keeps getting shorter just HURTS

I am excited about doing Bronte's house's post. Dude has his fucking initials on his damn wallpaper xD

I think you can go inside it in Red Dead Online so I might go back for some more photos (it was very annoying to angle the shots I did take so bodies weren't in frame) if not I can just replay the mission.

Might have to see if I can go into the Mayor's house too cause the party doesn't really let you wander in there unless Luca is with you or you're sneaking

Apparently you have to use a wagon to get to the second floor then go through a window… well this’ll be interesting… just hope I don’t get a session with a lot of players in Saint Denis… ugh I wish it was like GTA V online where you have private lobbies. I hate going onto RDO alone cause I always run into assholes who just wanna kill npcs and players for fun. Well, I will ‘document’ my online adventure as Evangeline (my online OC) who looks like Ciri from Witcher 3 and her Missouri fox trotter Trevor.

Well I found a wagon immediately but it had an open back so i couldn’t climb onto it… now i’m waiting on the either side of a bridge for a good wagon… If i had a trader wagon that might work but I don't… wait... O_O Target acquired.

*Hacker voice* I’m in.

Obviously these photos won’t be as clear cause I can’t turn off blur on the 1st person view thing… Gonna do the same kinda thing I did with the Braithwaite manor post where there is a lil mini map to show which room it is. Gonna make a separate post for the garden in back… and honestly… probably have to make a separate post for each floor… I took a lot of photos...

So yeah that might be the next thing to come out cause I really wanna get that up.

[fruitcoops]

I don't know if you did this already (I'm sorry if you did) or somebody asked but could you do one where they supportive teammates reacts to homophobic teammates

Hello anon! This is a super interesting idea and I’ve been thinking about it for a couple days so I could get the vibe right--none of our boys would be homophobic, but new rookies on the other hand...

Sweater Weather credit goes to @lumosinlove, but this features a character who does not appear in SW (I’m not claiming him as an OC because he’s a dick)

TW for homophobic statements, no slurs

I

James caught sight of the new guy just as he was leaving the locker room, towel draped over his neck. “Rookie! Wait up, man!”

The other man paused, looking rather surprised as he jogged over. “Hey, you’re James, right?”

“Call me Pots.” He held his hand out and they shook. “Didn’t catch your name earlier, sorry.”

“Tanner Chase, nice to meet you.”

“Welcome to the team, Tanner.” James grinned. “You’re on my line, yeah?”

“Yeah, I’m a winger,” Tanner said with a good bit of pride. Oh, to be twenty again, James thought. “Giving you a run for your money.”

“Sure, kid,” James laughed. “You do that. You’d have better luck with me than Loops, though.”

Tanner’s smile turned a little sharp. “Nah, he’d be too easy, am I right?”

James paused. “What?”

“Y’know, since he’s…” Talker gave him a significant look and a stone sank in James’ gut.

“I think you lost me.” I hope this isn’t what I think it is. “Because he’s a rookie? ‘cause I hate to break it to you, but—”

“No, dude, because he’s a fairy,” he snorted, as if they were still joking around.

“Shut the fuck up.”

Tanner blinked and reeled back. “Excuse me?”

“You don’t get to talk about my friends like that. Don’t talk about anyone like that. It’s not tolerated on this team and I won’t hesitate to kick your ass if I hear it again.” James made sure his voice was as even as possible, but he could tell it shook at the edges. “You just used up your one free pass, Chase.”

 II

“Drive safe, Loops!” Talker called as Remus headed for the hall with his bag under his arm.

Sirius opened the door just as he reached it and his face broke into a smile. “Bonjour, mon amour, I was just looking for you. Ready to go?”

“Hiya, handsome.” He leaned up to peck him on the lips. “Yeah, I think I left my phone on the bench, though.”

Their conversation faded out as they wandered off together and Talker returned to his stretch, closing his eyes at the familiar burn in his hamstring. “Yikes,” the new rookie muttered under his breath. Tanner…something, Talker remembered.

“What’s up? You okay?”

Tanner glanced over at him. “Doesn’t it bother you?”

“Stretching? Not really, no. That’s why I do it.”

“No, not stretching. That.” He waved a hand at the slightly-open door.

“I can close it if you—”

“Dude.” Talker crossed his legs and faced him fully. “I mean Black and Lupin.”

Talker narrowed his eyes. “No. Does it bother you?”

“I mean, yeah, how am I supposed to respect a guy like that?” he scoffed.

Talker made direct eye contact with him; he wanted zero miscommunication about this. “You respect him because he’s your captain, which is a title he earned that has nothing to do with who he loves. And you respect Loops, too, or we’re going to have an issue. I don’t know what the fuck you’re thinking bringing that attitude to this team, but you better drop it right now.”

Tanner turned back to his stretch. With a shake of his head, Talker collected his stuff and left him alone on the mats.

III

“Hey, Harzy.” Tanner sat down next to Finn on the bench and passed him a waterbottle. There was a shout from the ice as Remus stole the puck from Sirius’ stick and raced toward the goal, laughing loudly.

“Tan-man, what’s up?”

“What’s the deal with them?” he asked, lowering his voice.

“Cap and Loops? They’re engaged, didn’t you know?”

“Yeah, I know.” There was a slight tone shift that made Finn’s skin crawl. “But what do you think about it? Isn’t it, like, a little weird being on the same team as them?”

“Uh, no.”

Tanner’s eyebrows rose. “You aren’t afraid they’re looking at you or something?”

“What part of ‘engaged’ don’t you understand?” Finn’s jaw tightened. What a little shit. “If this is some homophobic fuckery, I’d like to take this time to remind you I have two boyfriends before you say something that gets you punched.”

Tanner’s eyes went wide and he scooted away without a word.

IV

“Alright, everyone, Sid’s tonight?” Kasey shouted over the noise. The whole locker room cheered in agreement and he smiled as the buzz of victory filled his chest. “Knutty, since my team kicked your ass, I believe you owe me a pizza!”

“I still say Cap is a cheater!” Leo called back; within a few seconds, Sirius had him in a loose headlock as he ruffled his hair. “Alright, alright, I give!”

The volume level did not die down as they all flooded into the hallway—Kasey spotted a flash of mousy brown hair out of the corner or his eye and frustration lodged in his throat. In a smooth movement, he reached out and blocked Tanner from following the rest of the group out. “Not you.”

“But it’s a team dinner—”

“And you’re not part of the team until you get your head out of your ass,” he said coolly. The jumble of voices echoed around the corner. That was his team. “Don’t think I missed those looks you were shooting Cap and Loops. You’re not invited. Go home and think about what actually matters.”

V

They won the next game by a landslide. Arthur Weasley was furious. Every time an opponent came to check Tanner Chase, not a single Lion moved to help him. At one point, Pots had taken the puck right off his stick and skated down the ice for a goal, leaving him in the dust. Whenever Chase was on the bench, he was pointedly ignored by the rest and left to sit alone; Logan literally sat on Talker’s lap to avoid being within five feet of the rookie.

“Team meeting, everyone sit your asses down!” he barked as he entered the locker room. Immediately, the celebratory whoops quieted. “Anyone want to tell me what the hell is going on?”

Sirius looked up at him in confusion. “I thought we played pretty well, Coach.”

“You played fine, but Chase over here got the cold shoulder like I’ve never seen before. Even the fucking commentators noticed!”

“Good,” Finn muttered under his breath.

“Shut it, O’Hara, this is not good.” He took a deep breath to try and calm himself. “Once again, does anyone want to enlighten me on this sudden attitude toward rookies? Since when are we like this?”

“It’s not toward rookies, it’s toward him,” Kasey said, glaring at Tanner from his stall. “He’s a homophobic douchebag. You want to tell Coach what you said?”

Tanner stared at the floor.

Arthur’s fury vanished. “What? Chase, is that true?�� The rookie stayed silent. “Hey, kid, I’m talking to you.”

“Yes, Coach.” Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Remus’ jaw tick and Sirius’ face grow stormy.

“How long has this been going on?”

“It started the first day of practice,” Pots said, crossing his arms. “Our first conversation, in fact.”

“Eyes on me, rookie.” Tanner winced as he looked up. “I know the organization has told you in the past that this kind of behavior is okay, but right here and right now, I’m telling you it’s not. If you’re going to continue with that, you can leave.”

“I just get uncomfortable when—”

“When what?” Remus asked, standing up and leaning on his stall. He looked overall unthreatening, but there was a stony look in his eyes. “Tanner, what did Sirius and I do to make you uncomfortable?”

Tanner floundered for a moment. “It’s just—the kissing, the cuddling, the nicknames, all that.”

“You didn’t seem to have a problem when Lily came to visit,” Remus continued. “Or Natalie, or Noelle, or Celeste. Is that correct?”

“Yeah.”

“But it bothers you when I call my fiancé ‘baby’, or he calls me ‘sweetheart’?”

“It does.”

“Tanner, I hope you know I’m not going to apologize,” he finally said. “If this had nothing to do with us being gay, we would tone down the PDA, but that’s clearly not the case.”

Sirius sighed. “None of us want to alienate you, but you’re making judgements before taking the time to know us. That’s a shitty thing to do.”

“You’ve never met an openly gay person before, have you?” Remus asked. Tanner shook his head. “Hi, I’m Remus Lupin. I play a wing position on the hockey team that you were just signed to and my favorite color is green. I have a dog named Hattie and I’m engaged to a man. Nice to meet you.”

Sirius walked across the room; Arthur tensed for a moment, but he stopped in front of Tanner and held his hand out. “Sirius Black, team captain. I play center and I hate pineapple pizza. Also, I’m gay. Congrats on being signed to the Lions.”

Tanner’s eyes flickered up, and after a moment’s hesitation, he shook Sirius’ hand. “Nice to meet you.” He swallowed thickly. “Cap.”

“Nice to meet you, too. Are we done with the bullshit?”

“It—it might take me a bit to get used to it.”

“Make it quick. We’ve got games to win and nobody here has time to hold your hand through it.” Sirius turned to look at everyone else, his Captain Face in full effect. “That goes for everyone, got it? No more cold shoulders, we talk this through like adults as soon as it happens.”

“You got it, Cap,” Pots said.

“Black, Lupin, can we talk?” Coach beckoned them toward the door; just before it closed, he saw Talker walk over to Tanner’s stall.

“That’s why you respect Cap and Loops,” Talker said quietly. “Not because of threats or some shit—because of that right there.”

[rigelmejo]

So while I’m not fond of Peppa Pig, I do find this discussion interesting. And it did make me go check if I could follow Peppa Pig (I can, easily, I know most of the words if not all - though I’m watching without subs so I might miss a little bit). 

*This is a show that WAS recommended to me, if you want to watch a simple show for kids that’s easy to comprehend - 大头儿子和小头爸爸 (and it is cute, it reminds me a little of Arthur and shows I watched when I was little)  : https://youtu.be/bpO2W9Xaigc

Ok back to Peppa Pig discussion, of all things lol.

So on reddit, someone was discussing how they’d been studying chinese 8 months and still could not understand Peppa Pig. I found the discussion between everyone very interesting. All I really think on my end is like? I also could not understand Peppa Pig (or any shows super well) that early on so it is partly a matter of “you just gotta study chinese for a while.” (The reddit discussion: https://www.reddit.com/r/ChineseLanguage/comments/mk4665/fed_up_with_my_poor_chinese/ )

But also? I am a big believer in “it gets easier the more you practice.” So if you want to do something in a language, try to DO it. And try to keep doing it - because partly yes, you will likely realize you need to learn more words/grammar and the ‘doing’ may just be a catalyst to ‘make you study more’ so that next time you try to DO you know more and its easier. But also, doing it involves building the skills of getting USED to listening, used to recognizing words you studied in a different context, getting used to recognizing and understanding grammar in real time instead of on a delay (like in a textbook when you can slow down and really look at something and figure it out) etc. So partly, how ‘easy’ it is to read or listen has to just do with how often you’ve done it. Have you done it enough that the parts you HAVE studied you can grasp immediately? Or have you done it so little that even things you ‘studied’ don’t click right away - but they might on a rewatch or if you pause and read a subtitle slower, replay a line, etc. The part of the skills you pick up by DOING you really have to just... do to get better.

I found a few responses from people who are years into studying chinese and still find Peppa Pig difficult. And I think in that case, it might be the same situation as my japanese was (studied for 2 years and could still barely read a manga for bare gist). I think partly at that point, lack of understanding has to do with not practicing understanding by Doing. Someone who’s studied a couple years, likely knows a few thousands words+? If they practiced listening or reading regularly for a few months, they’d likely see a TON of improvement. Because they probably ‘learned’ a lot already they just need to develop stronger skills to comprehend what they studied when engaging with shows/audios/novels etc. And if they just ‘wait’ to engage with material until it feels ‘easy’ they may be unnecessarily holding themselves back. Because a major part of ‘why’ it might feel difficult is simply that they don’t practice the skills of USING what they learned. If they practice more, it will get easier. But if they wait to immerse until ‘easy stuff FEELS easy’ when they first try? Then they aren’t challenging themselves nearly as much as they can probably handle...

Like? I’m not that good. I still only kinda comprehend a LOT of things. But that doesn’t stop me from watching chinese dramas I wanna watch in chinese only. And I think a big reason I can comprehend ENOUGH now to follow the plots of shows I wanna watch? Is because when i was 8 months, 10 months, 12 months into learning - i would watch 12 minutes and look up lots of unknown words, or watch an episode and pause to read hard sentences, or make myself watch when i ‘just’ got the gist of an ‘easier’ show and hope that the more i did it the more i’d understand. And somehow, that did work out. (Also it motivated me to keep studying new words in other activities lol, hoping that would make watching easier). Now I’m at a point where i can turn on new shows I want to watch, and watch them, and follow the main gist and pick up some details. Its nice. Its nice and its getting a bit easier each time i do it. And if i had ‘waited’ until ‘easy stuff’ like Peppa Pig was easy? Or until stuff like “Granting You A Dreamlike Life” was easy? I probably would not comprehend this much right now. I tried to watch gyadl like 8 months in and it was pretty rough... even rougher because i only paused a handful of times an episode to make things go faster. But now? When i watch a show ‘about that hard’ that’s mostly slice of life? I can pick up a ton more easily than before. Doing the ‘hard’ thing eventually made it easier. 

So if there’s anything I think about all it, its just... don’t be afraid to challenge yourself sometimes. Sometimes doing hard things makes the ‘easier’ things finally Actually easier. And sometimes waiting until you can ‘understand’ the easy things means just never trying the easy things - when its trying and doing, that will eventually MAKE them doable for you. At least that’s advice to myself ToT I wasted a ton of time in japanese when I didn’t do this, and helped myself a lot in chinese by doing this. I also did it with french even though i wasn’t really aware what i was doing back then.

Some links:

Peppa Pig in mandarin (let me know how much YOU can follow an episode! - if you can... sit through one): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X1dhSMSAXxI

Konglongmandarin - a site that teaches mandarin utilizing Peppa Pig episodes. Which, while I do not like that cartoon much, I really appreciate the concept behind this site and its lessons. And I think its a really cool way of making comprehensible input lessons (which I think are a quite easy and Direct way to teach things that click well with my learning style and probably some other peoples’). I am checking the site out currently: https://www.konglongmandarin.com/lessons/

AVATAR THE LAST AIRBENDER IN MANDARIN - its on WeTV! I didn’t know that! It’s all just free to watch so like?!! I guess I’m doing a rewatch! The downside is these have no subs. The upside is I guess it makes good listening practice since you can’t rely on reading skills. Also, if you’ve watched atla before like me, then you likely have enough context already you should be able to follow what’s going on and pick up some new words: https://v.qq.com/x/cover/m0t0ud0mjg6td5t/v00225ojbpd.html

Again 大头儿子和小头爸爸 - its a show that was recommended to me by a language partner, and its good if you want a show for kids to practice comprehensible input with (I find it a lot more nice to watch then peppa pig but that’s just my preference): https://youtu.be/bpO2W9Xaigc

Two Souls in One - a cdrama I’m watching right now, its really good! Its only in chinese subs rn but I imagine youku plans to english sub it since its on youtube. Its magical premise mixed with mundane reality, a lot of fun identity and gender shenanigans. At my comprehension level its reasonably easy to follow - since most of its slice of life or actor-genre lingo. I think for most people who know 1k-2k common words this should be very doable to watch (just like Granting You A Dreamlike Life was doable to watch and follow the gist of). https://youtu.be/zaX2pdVpmUY

[vanhelsingenthusiast]

Hi! I hope I am not bothering you. If you don’t mind me asking, I don’t know if you have already talked about that before, but do you have any Dracula related books or movies that you would recommend, either because it is (at least relatively) good or because it is so bad it’s funny? I don’t mind if it is very old or weird or in any language (as long as there are subtitles). Thanks and have a wonderful day :)

Hi anon! Sorry for the late reply, I just saw this. 

I think I’ve given some recommendations for Dracula adaptations in the past, but I don’t think I’ve ever answered this question specifically or made a master post, so here we go. My Dracula recommendations. 

(Relatively) Good Movies: 

My personal favorite is the 1977 BBC one, which you can watch here: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=96OIILetaho 

I also adore the 1958 “Horror of Dracula”, which is a classic. I’m pretty sure this is one you might have to pay for, though. Pretty much any of the subsequent Hammer Horror Dracula movies are great, but they do get very cheesy after this one. 

Another Hammer Horror Dracula movie I reccomend in the 1973 “Satantic Rites of Dracula”. It’s hilarious. 

Then there’s the 1979 Nosferatu silent film, which I thought was just beautiful to watch. Not the most accurate to the book, but very aesthetically pleasing. It’s based off of the 1922 silent film of the same name, which I have yet to watch. 

If you like anime or manga, there’s also Hellsing, which I enjoy, but it’s very different from the book. 

So Bad it’s Good Movies: 

2004 Van Helsing. Cheesy, very, very cheesy. Pretty typical early-2000s action film. Mindless fun. I really like Frankenstein’s Creature in this, and also Dracula. 

The 2006 BBC film, lovingly dubbed “Arthur’s Magical Syphillis Adventure” by our own @dracupa. Need I explain more? You can watch it here: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=NGMWgk18M3Q

Now, there is one more I reccomend but I can’t decide if it’s good or bad or what. 

That is the 1968 made-for-tv adaptation. It’s not excellent, but it’s got some great westenray scenes. You can watch it here: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=GhqKw_YjilE 

Now, for books: 

(Relatively) Good Books: 

The Many Faces of Van Helsing. This is an anthology of short stories, revolving around specifically Van Helsing. Not all of them are good, but most of them are excellent. My personal favorite short storiy in this anthology is “Remember Me” by Tanith Lee. 

Sherlock Holmes vs Count Dracula. This one is pretty short, and so much fun. I do have some issues with it (mainly how they characterize Van Helsing), but Sherlock and Watson are soooo good. Especially if you like JohnLock. Here’s the audiobook: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0TX4rvB6mIs

I also really like the book “Terovolas” by Edward M. Erdelac. I haven’t read all of it, admittedly, bc I can’t find the full book online for free, but what I have read is wonderful. The writing is engaging, the characters are interesting and dynamic, and I just love how Erdelac writes Van Helsing. 

The Journal of Professor Abraham Van Helsing, by Allen C Kupfer. This one isn’t spectacular, but it was fun to read and pretty short (I finished it in two days). This one is also Van Helsing-centric. I thought the ending was neat. 

So Bad it’s Good Books: 

Tbh, I don’t really know if books can be classified as “so bad its good” just because they take more energy to interact with than movies do, but honestly? Just about anything by Fred Saberhagen. Or Dacre Stoker. 

There are a few other Dracula adaptations out there, and if you want to watch all of them I’d reccomend just searching it up, but most of them are boring imo. 

Hope this helps! And I hope you have a wonderful day too :) 

[cecilyneville]

the spanish princess ep 4!

“it’s like ripping off a bandaid,” i tell myself, “just gotta do it.” [proceeds to skip over like half the scenes]

every week i thank god that i’m not the one who pays for the stan subscription and am therefore watching this garbage for free

episode description is like “as meg jeopardizes everything for love”, i think u mean “as meg jeopardizes everything for some bombass douglas dick”

(ok no i think margaret actually did love angus, particularly as she often cited “he loves me not” in her letters as a reason she wished to divorce him. also i think she thought she had to ally with a powerful house regardless of what consequences it may bring. and on her deathbed when she asked that her son might look kindly upon angus - this may have been a bid to protect margaret douglas but at the same time it’s very possible that, as her life was drawing to a close, she looked back on her many feuds with angus and regretted them.) 

anyway enough meg chat, onto the show!

ugh the bird cage is back fuck me

wait wasn’t arthur plantagenet viscount lisle? or was he given that title later on? speaking of which, there’s a figure you never see in historical fiction, which is such a shame

charlotte hope’s horny acting is so cringe 

i wish we’d gotten to see margaret and angus’ wedding!

“angus will not rule with me” hmmm historical margaret thought otherwise lol

how is this so much more interesting than anything that happens in the english court

so, in ep 2 meg calls angus “angus douglas” and now catherine says “archibald douglas, the earl of angus”? boy i hope somebody got fired for that blunder

i feel like the guy who plays wolsey is taking inspiration from mark gatiss’ stephen gardiner (in wolf hall) and if so, i admire him very much

oh...ok. i see what they’re doing. they’re going to have howard ride to the border under catherine’s instructions and he’s going to bring meg back. so basically, we’re eschewing all the fun stuff in scotland for catherine’s dumb diplomacy

“that halfwit in a kilt” THEY’RE NOT WEARING KILTS YOU CLOD, KILTS WEREN’T EVEN INVENTED, WHO WROTE THIS EPISODE

“your sister’s sons must take the throne” uhhh james v is already on the throne, literally no one is disputing that, not even albany

i feel like they should have introduced anne hastings alongside bessie in the first ep (unless they did and i missed it, it’s possible)

once again, ch’s horny acting is super cringe

WAIT MEG AND ANGUS ARE LITERALLY HIDING OUT IN A PANTRY I WANT TO DIE THIS IS THE DUMBEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN

“that is my son, our future king, you raise your voice to” HE IS LITERALLY THE CROWNED KING OF SCOTLAND WTF, WHO WROTE THIS

meg calling herself sovereign when she is regent and called herself that earlier this episode...

like i don’t expect them to but the tsp writers have no idea how queenship works, in any of its forms

lina & oviedo’s babies are so cute 🥰🥰🥰

lina telling catherine that she is the light is deeply hilarious when lina is the most luminous presence on this show

catherine mentioning joanna offhandedly (in a negative sense) while doing nothing for her...

catherine constantly interfering in mary and meg’s lives and calling herself their sister, whilst doing nothing at all for joanna (yes i am aware that irl catherine wasn’t able to do so, but in tsp!verse where it’s all about ~sisterhood~ this makes no sense)

margaret and georgie both deserve so much better than this...maybe i should actually write that margaret biopic screenplay lol

so...margaret douglas doesn’t exist in this universe or???

“i will never trust again” [spongebob voice, after henry stewart shows up] a few moments later...

not going to comment on how this show has catherine heavily pregnant fighting in war but doesn’t have meg heavily pregnant fleeing across the border on horseback

i should know better than to expect historical lines from this show but they had the perfect opportunity for henry to say “done like a scot” and then they DIDN’T

i love that there’s no time for midwives but plenty of time to alert henry and summon lina & maggie

catherine standing and walking 0.5 seconds after giving birth

“thank you for your efforts” LOOOOOL

[kill bill sirens]

i’m assuming lina is going to testify against catherine in the last ep of the series and i truly cannot wait

emma frost said let thomas howard say fuck

this episode would have been far better if they’d included louis’ death and juxtaposed mary eloping with brandon with meg eloping with angus, and the diplomatic crises that follow, but then i guess there would be less time for catherine clenching her neck and that could not happen

who wrote this episode, i hope they never write for television again

[the-busy-ghost]

Alright here’s my belated Thoughts on that latest TSP episode. I should add again, I am in no way saying people shouldn’t like this show, I just need to be petty on my own blog. 

- Stafford’s Performative Masculinity is a bit Much, even for a sixteenth century man

- Katherine doesn’t want Wolsey appointed chancellor because that would give him too much power and the chancellor is apparently the second most powerful man in the kingdom... so powerful in fact that I’m not even sure we’ve seen the current chancellor on screen, except in his ecclesiastical role as archbishop of Canterbury

- Ah the migrating towers of Holyrood. They weren’t there for the last two episodes and they won’t be there next scene either but they’ll be *theoretically* here all week folks.

- It is mildly hilarious that this show seems to think that every single moment in Scottish politics took place in one wee house in Somerset “Edinburgh”, and the only people who are ever involved are two dozen stereotypical Scottish noblemen, and one Englishwoman (and no clergy? Which is extremely weird given how heavily involved they were in royal administration).

- Not to mention they imply Holyrood is meant to be Edinburgh (it is now, then it was actually in the burgh of the Canongate but close enough) and yet the burgh skyline of Edinburgh is never visible in the background of these shots, just rolling fields and a nondescript hill that I assume is meant to be Arthur’s seat.

- Ok so we’re portraying Angus as the poetic soul instead of his uncle, that’s fine, that makes no sense but it’s fine.

- Who the fuck is Bishop McElroy. Setting aside the fact that McElroy was more common in Ireland than Scotland during the sixteenth century (and there were no major noble or even influential lairdly families bearing the surname), why could they not have just done a google search and found out that, oh yeah, there were Real Life Scottish Bishops in 1515, anyone of whom would have done. And I don’t know why they mucked about with the timeline but if they were going to muck around with the timeline anyway then then how about maybe even, dare I say it, Gavin Douglas, bishop-elect of Dunkeld???

- Also I didn’t quite catch the full line so I may have misheard but I think Margaret states that they got married in the kirk of South Queensferry? I mean tbh this only confirms my belief that the writers think everything happened in the vicinity of Edinburgh (and that they didn’t even bother to think to TRY and find out where the marriage might have taken place, just started tossing a few Scottish place names out there as if that would do. The Ferry’s not even that private, it was on a major pilgrimage route and an important crossing point over the Forth). It’s also a bit irritating because there’s no reason for the inaccuracies? They didn’t have to show the wedding so they didn’t have to change the location or characters for ease of filming or anything, it’s just a throwaway line, there’s no reason for them to make up a bishop and unlikely wedding location? Anyway join us next week as Henry VIII and Anne Boleyn conduct their affair in the middle of London Bridge.

- Also excuse me while I make an unconvinced noise at that line about how the Douglases (i.e. all of them, not just the Red ones) have always ‘licked the balls of England’. While their notoriety for being Shady As Fuck and occasionally siding with the English was certainly well known, no sixteenth century Scotsman worth his salt would have sullied the name of the Good Sir James just to score points off the Angus branch of the family.

- (Maybe this is a bad time to point out that they’re not technically licking ‘balls’ in this instance either...)

- I take it back there was one (1) woman very briefly in that scene where Margaret and “Angus” rushed to grab the bairns. She was promptly never seen again. Confirmed Cryptid.

- Also where did all the other bairns (James IV’s ones, not Margaret’s) go. I mean they were actually there last episode I think, so it’s not like they were implying that Margaret got rid of them as soon as she could. Have they FINALLY grown up?

- How quickly do letters travel in this world? How long have they been in that cellar? Are they still there?

- Wait so now Katherine of Aragon knows his name is Archibald??? Why has everyone been calling him ‘Angus Douglas’ then, even when his dad (and presumably grandfather) was alive?

- Lol @ Henry ‘after all I’ve done for her’. Do tell, what HAVE you done for Margaret.

- Hang on so Thomas Boleyn is Earl of Wiltshire already and yet his father-in-law Thomas Howard still isn’t duke of Norfolk

- Second LOL @ an archbishop of York willfully summoning a naturalised Frenchman to Scotland without the king of England’s permission, as if Scotland lay in his gift and as if that was in any way a good idea, even for some political point-scoring

- “Margaret’s sons must take the throne”- Katherine are you aware that James V was crowned King of Scots not two weeks after Flodden, and approximately seven months before his younger brother Alexander was even born.

- Again, HOW LONG HAVE THEY BEEN IN THE CELLAR? Angus has grown a BEARD.

- He’s not the future king he IS the king. A tiny toddler king. You help him go potty you disrespectful shite, I don’t care if you’re having a nervous breakdown. (May I just point out again it is CRIMINAL that David Lindsay isn’t in this)

- We all pause for An Exaggerated Whispering Scene, that great period drama staple. I mean are we sure they’re gossiping about Henry and a *woman*, because the way people are talking about Wolsey at that dinner once again makes it look like he’s the real Mistress

- So wait how is this ‘letting’ Margaret go with Howard thing supposed to work. Is it like knock-knock special delivery for the duke of Norfolk, here you go please take your princess back.

- And when exactly did Angus do all this negotiating when he has supposedly been stuck in a cellar for weeks. Gavin Douglas has a lot to answer for, and not just the sheer length of the Eneados.

- ‘Bog-fuckers’ - not a bog in sight in this west country version of Scotland. Also er, just how does one fuck a bog. Asking for a friend.

- I’m just being pedantic, Howard’s foul mouth is actually the only genuine piece of comedy the writers can come up with in this tv show.

- Howard putting up a good front here but come on there’s like six of them and about two dozen Miscellaneous Scotsmen. I know that the English were very practised in quartering Scots whenever they liked but eight to one is not good odds, even for the victor of Flodden.

- Yeah that whole scene is not how the history worked. At All. But let’s let them ride dramatically away across a field as if it’s at all plausible. (Also why is it always fields- I know Scotland’s roads were bad in the sixteenth century, but seriously they were at least *technically* roads when you got near Edinburgh)

- And there was definitely no Isabella Hoppringle, which is again, criminal. I mean I expected it but it’s still sad. Mind you I suppose that might imply that Scottish women are real creatures and not cryptids which, as we know, is totally unrealistic.

- Even weirder though, they’re not including Margaret Douglas? Why?

- Only one man has ever been in the king’s rooms? Seriously? You expect us to believe this, not only from a historical accuracy perspective, but also from the tv show that gave us implied Wolsey/Henry?

-  The Great English Midwife Shortage c.1509-1516

- Do NONE of the many many grown-up people at the English court understand the lottery of birth and that you can’t just like, assume the baby will be a boy even if you hope it will. Wishful thinking is one thing (and common) but this wholehearted belief thing is frankly unrealistic.

- It’s also unfair how they’re treating Mary as unloved by both her parents. We know Katherine loved her daughter in some way, and it’s also not really fair to say that Henry VIII was anything less than a doting father in her early years.

- And the record for fastest churching goes to Katherine again. Cracking cape though.

- Katherine all ‘he won’t visit his daughter’- you won’t even look at her either though. How is this a sympathetic depiction of Katherine again? Don’t get me wrong, it’s absolutely understandable if a royal mother didn’t always want to hold her daughter but really? After every other negative light they’ve shown Katherine in and called it Empowerment?

- Hey I don’t know much about English customs but seems to me that inviting the French to intervene in Scotland without consulting the king might just be a beheading offence Wolsey. AND THEN HENRY COVERS FOR HIM? THE PAGES OF ENGLISH HISTORY BOOKS ARE NOT STAINED WITH THE BLOOD OF CIVIL SERVANTS EXECUTED FOR FAR LESSER OFFENCES FOR THIS KIND OF NONSENSE TO BE ACCEPTABLE.

- Thomas Boleyn, dad of the year

- People do kiss, Margaret Pole. That was a common thing. MEN kissed each other goddamnit. Not really good enough. I mean by your logic Katherine should have broken up with Henry after her dad laid one on him in the first episode.

- How is it that Thomas More, of all people, has the Goss. 

- Oh and apparently there was also a National Laundress Shortage in 1516 too.

Ok so it was about as meh as every other episode but I think this one really brought home to me how poorly thought out Margaret’s storyline was. I mean usually these period dramas have to insert Drama for no reason to keep people interested, but Margaret’s life was FULL of drama and they had so much to work with. Instead they seem to have actually stripped most of the drama out to tell an utterly incomprehensible story about a bunch of stereotypical Scotsmen, who all live in the same house in Fake Edinburgh, chasing the only woman in Scotland into the cellar, and then posting her off back to England a few weeks later.

[nossbean]

Top 7 comfort movies

I’m roughly 12 years late to the party but I was tagged by @ajoblotofjunk and @ilikeblue ! Thanks so much!

So confession up front - when looking for comfort stuff I actually tend towards TV! So here’s a mix of comfort media XD Also, like, in which I ramble only semi-coherently about things I love. 😅

1. Singin’ in the Rain

I... have no deep reasons for loving this. I just - I love Cosmo Brown. I love tap dancing. I love the earnestness of this whole flick and the OT3-ness that is just, like, everywhere in this damn movie. The songs are catchy, the dancing is impressive as all get out, it’s a lot of fun. The dorky scenes about enunciation - even if I could do without the sexist overtones to Lena’s storyline. I used to work in TV, so the stuff about where to put the mics was RELATABLE (if... not exactly the same ofc). The cast is attractive. There is 1 space mom (Debbie Reynolds) and 1 space aunt (Cyd Charisse) in it, which tickles me xD 

Let’s see, I’ve given random headcanons on Singin’ before, but let’s go with this one. When watching it the first time in my twenties and “Make ‘em Laugh” came on, my pal said with such deep earnest and pained joy, “Cosmo is doing all this just to make Don laugh,” and I think about that every time I watch that sequence. 

THE LOVE. it’s eVERYWHERE.

2. Parks and Recreation

Look, I can totally see how Parks & Rec isn’t for everyone. But to me, it’s a half-hour long televisual hug of people doing their best to love each other and make the world better, with helpings of political commentary and utterly absurd comedy. It definitely doesn’t come without caveats and is already dated in some ways, but in a weird way, I appreciate that Schur & Goor have grown in their politics that missteps taken in P&R aren’t repeated in and are often actually rectified in B99 & The Good Place. I deeply, deeply love the relationship between Ben and Leslie, and how hard Leslie loves: people, Pawnee, politics, public service. The families-of-choice vibes are strong in this one and there are few things I am more of a suck for than families-of-choice. I could ramble endlessly on this one, so I’ll cut myself off there.

Anyhoops, I have very many feelings about P&R and if you’ve been wondering whether to watch it but holding back for whatever reason, please DEFINITELY message me and I will share with you my many thoughts on why you should watch, where there might be squicks, and why you should actually start with season 2, episode 21 (yes, even the completionists amongst you).

Bonus gif:

3. Jurassic Park

... I love dinosaurs, and I love Dr Ellie Satler. She is amazing and if there was a gif of her with the triceratops I would have chosen that one. Between her general personality/competency, her unabashed feminism and her face, she remains the best 🥰Also I appreciate that Lex also got to save the day, in a way v specific to her skillset and that the film didn’t dismiss her despite being v scared and way outside her comfort zone in the outdoorsy survival parts of the film. 

I also have fond memories of going to see it for my sixth birthday and going to the bathroom when the T-rex eats Gennaro, so not totally understanding why all my pals were terrified when I got back. Ofc I then had fears that a t-rex would stomp and crush our home, but *handwaves* I grew out of that fear. And grew a new one.

4. Avatar: the Last Airbender

Ho-hum. Where to start with Avatar. Lmao, in the context of Game of Thrones (to which it has been ofc compared lately) just having a long-form television show which delivers on the vast majority of its themes and premises is a relief and satisfying. But, I liked Avatar long before I was back in the GOT-verse so. It’s a compelling narrative, carefully constructed and mindful of the stories and values it’s putting out into the world. And those stories, values and themes aren’t light. It tackles war, genocide, familial abuse, revenge, and redemption alongside things like building family, accepting differences, forgiveness, and honesty. That said, it balances those things with children-being-children, and moments of grace and humour. Each character is well-drawn, their personalities and choices respected, and the idea that character-drives-plot is masterfully demonstrated. Hey look - we’ve got some families-of-choice vibes here too!

I think I’ve previously rambled in the tags of a post about Katara specifically. But as someone who has, ah, an appreciation for anger and an awareness that women + anger = bad, societally speaking, Katara was a breath of fresh air. She is as compassionate as she is angry, and while there are philosophical differences between characters when it comes to her acting on her anger, the anger itself is never questioned or denigrated, by other characters or by the narrative itself. Her anger is never used as a tool to invalidate her other characteristics, or the reverse (her compassion, her nurturing side, etc, are never used to invalidate her anger), and she means a lot to me.

Also idk what this is but it came up when I searched Avatar and if I have to see it and be slightly confused and embarrassed then so do you:

5. Pacific Rim

lmao I rambled so much about the past few I’m tempted to just say: I JUST LOVE IT OK. Which is true, but. A bit more. Pacific Rim is like two hours of hope. I think I have in my queue a post that describes the relationship between Mako and Raleigh as two hurt & hardened warriors who nonetheless find softness with each other, and that is 100% true. But that ignores how in many ways, the same is true for Stacker and Mako, and even Stacker and Raleigh to degrees. Stacker’s adoption of Mako is very important. A black man with an East London accent being the most vital person in the movement to save the world is important. The multi-national, scrappy and semi-guerilla response to a weird af global threat, and the related deep humanity in facing the end of the world and hoping against hope that there’s a chance, also deeply resonant. 

It’s also stunning: Guillermo del Toro and his colour schemes, y’all. The fight scenes are so GOOD and INTERESTING and just so blatantly done by someone who knew exactly what they were doing and loved every minute of it. The idea of the drift and of drift compatibility is lovely: that philosophical belief in the interconnectedness of people. The (somewhat blink-and-you-miss-it) background class commentary (del Toro, icu) 👏. 

And, ofc, as with many on this list: the centering of Mako, the dedication to playing out the full emotional arc, of her having complex emotions which are respected and acknowledged by other characters and the narrative... yes please thank you.

6. Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries

Women being competent and supported is deeply comforting. I’ve particularly found myself rewatching MFMM as the world is on fire. Just - watching Phryne build her family (families of choice!) and her community, get her men, and win the day through cleverness and determination is heartening.

7. The Holiday

I love Kate Winslet’s arc in this. But honestly I think much of my love for this centres on the fact that I saw it when v much longing to move to the UK and it is the most charming/romantic portrayal of Britain and that appealed to 20 y-o K who was so desperate to go. That said, the arc between Iris & Arthur (eg the gif below) makes me cry every time, so there’s that.

As mentioned, I’m v late to this game so I don’t know who’s been tagged! If you haven’t done it yet, please consider yourself tagged & let me know when you’ve done it! (Yes, I definitely do mean you!)

[selfship-uncharted]

The Fugitive part XI - A quiet time

part I - part II - part III - part IV - part V - part VI - part VII - part VIII - part IX - part X - part XI - part XII  - part XIII  - part XIV

A/N: Thank you so much as always for your support! A/N2: English is not my first language. Pairing: Arthur Morgan x OC (Claire Russell) Warnings: a little angst, drunken people, fluff Words: 2,593 Tags: @asiramhera @missdictatorme @zoilalove213   @avast-you-dirty-dog @lowkeyofsassguard

Special thanks to @asiramhera for being my beta-reader. Tons of love for you!

Theodore stood up from Claire’s bed, fixed his pants’ zip and left her alone in her bedroom not even looking at her once. Claire didn’t move, she was laying on her bed with shaking legs after the unwelcome intercourse. She closed her eyes in frustration letting rage tears roll down her cheek. She felt so miserable, so disgusted with herself. The urge to get clean invaded her and rang the bell to make Marianne come. The maid didn’t take long to appear on her nightgown and helped her madam to clean herself. During the process, tears didn’t stop falling from Claire’s eyes. “I need to get out of here…” She mumbled to herself.

“And how do you plan to do that?” Géraldine sat on her chair in front of Claire in the living room of Beaubois mansion. “Where will you go?” “I don’t know…” Claire exhaled feeling hopeless. “But I can’t endure that ever again.” “Mr Cornwall won’t let you go that easily. Nor your father who spent quite a fortune to get a deal with him. He won’t risk losing it.” “I know…” Mathieu, the butler came in with a plate of tea and pastries for both ladies. Claire kindly rejected them, she wasn’t hungry at all, her emotions made a knot in her stomach and wasn’t able to eat anything at the moment. Géraldine gladly accepted her tea. “I can lend you some money if you need.” Géraldine sipped her tea. “But I need to know your plan first. I don’t want you to do anything stupid.” Claire nodded absentmindedly, she had to think of something, she was unwilling to accept having a child of Theodore, to live like that. No, there might be a way to get away from all that.

Claire stepped in her house feeling how that big mansion made her feel insignificant. Some voices came from her husband’s office. Getting closer she recognised the voices of Theodore and Leviticus Cornwall. She tried to listen to what they were talking about. Their conversation was heated. She heard something of cargo from the Cornwall Oil field. To be sold in Saint-Denis port for a lot of money. A hatred feeling invaded her, it would be a pity if something would happen to that cargo. Claire immediately thought of Arthur. She needed to talk to him, that information would be useful to him and his gang. “How is the other matter going?” Leviticus voice woke her up from her thoughts. She didn’t know what was the other matter but deep down she could easily imagine it. “Working on it.” Theodore simply answered, he didn’t sound interested in that conversation. “You keep me updated.” Leviticus took his belongings and went straight to the door. Claire hid in the next room. “If she is of no use…” He turned around to his son with a menacing tone. “Yes, father.” Theodore replied bitterly. “No need for you to say it.” “Mr Russell played us well giving us that whore.” Leviticus voice was full of hatred. “And you, you better learn to control her.” Claire froze at those words scared of what might happen to her if she made a false step. She slightly opened the door from her hideout and saw Leviticus Cornwall leaving her house. She ran up the stairs to her room and took a piece of paper, a pen and wrote down a message to send to Arthur. “Marianne, please, could you send this note as soon as possible.” She gave the piece of paper to her maid, Marianne bowed at her and went away.

Arthur Morgan was waiting for Claire in the saloon of the east of Saint-Denis, the most humble part of that big city. For that, Claire borrowed some clothes from Marianne and used Arthur’s bandana he gave him some time ago to cover her neck. Her coach stopped just in front of the tavern. “Hey.” Arthur greeted her when she stood in front of him. Claire looked at him and a storm of feelings shook her. She wanted to hug him, kiss him, and cry her heart out and at the same time, she didn’t want him to touch her or even see her after what happened last night with her husband. “You okay?” He asked when he saw her face. “I need a drink.” She stated with a deep sigh. Arthur followed her inside the saloon. There was quite a lot of people that night and music too. A pianist and a violinist were playing some happy tunes. Claire pushed her way to the bar and ordered some strong drinks for her and Arthur. “I don’t have money, you will have to pay for it.” She spat to Arthur without looking at him, she didn’t pretend to sound that rude but it was stronger than her. Arthur looked at her puzzled and dropped some coins on the bar. The bartender served them the drinks and Claire drank in one shot. “Another!” She ordered hitting the bar with the glass. “Wow, easy girl!” Arthur tried to stop her but she already drank her second shot. “Just, don’t tell me what to do! That’s the last thing I need from you.” She turned to him for the first time she entered the saloon. Her eyes were read fill up with tears. Arthur was taken aback not knowing what to do or say. He got back to his drink. “I- I ain't good with those things…” Arthur mumbled scratching his beard. “but if you need to talk…” “Thank you. I appreciate it.” She took another shot. “But I’m not ready to talk… not yet…” “Okay…” He sighed. “But you better take it easy or you won’t last long.” “If I get too drunk, which is actually my intention, I know you will take care of me.” She kept drinking. “I ain't leaving you all the fun to you.” He drank his whiskey in one shot too and ordered another round. He wasn’t sure it was a good idea but Claire was strange, he had never seen her like that. He would drink with her but he would also keep an eye on her. The musicians started a polka and some people started to dance. Arthur looked at them and then back to Claire. He rubbed his nose, he drank his whiskey in a shot and turned to Claire. “Wanna dance?” He asked her. Claire surprised looked at him but didn’t have time to say anything that Arthur took her hand and dragged her to the centre of the dance floor. “Huh, Arthur, I don’t know the steps…” She worried starting to feel dizzy for all the alcohol. “It’s okay, I dunno them neither.” Arthur took her from her waist and pulled her close to him, starting moving following the music. From time to time, he made her spin and slowly her smile came back to her and turned to silly laughter every time she tripped on her feet or bumped into his chest. Arthur also smiled at her sight, he made her spin once again and she tripped on her feet falling in his arms. She stupidly laughed as alcohol started to make her headlight. Arthur leaned forward and kissed her. He wasn’t sure why he was doing that but he felt the urge and maybe it was the alcohol running in his veins but he couldn’t control himself. A shy smile appeared on Claire’s face but soon Arthur covered it with his mouth again, he could not have enough of her. “I’m going for a drink…” She sighed as soon as he let her catch her breath. “I ain't letting you go…” He whispered holding her tightly. “Geez, Arthur, I should have got you drunk sooner…” She laughed. “Who says I am drunk?” Claire bit her bottom lip feeling the red burning her cheeks. She took his hands from her waist and dragged him to the bar to order more drink. She knew she was pushing herself with so much alcohol but the need to forget last night was strong and it seemed that alcohol was helping her. “Hey,” Arthur grabbed her hand that was already holding another filled glass. “Ya know… ya can talk to me…” That soft voice, that gentle touch brought tears to her eyes, she fought them back, she didn’t want to cry, not in front of him. She wanted to be the light-hearted lady who was always smiling at everything, even at bad times. “Why do you keep saying that?” She freed herself from his hand. “I’m perfectly… Okay!” She took her drink in one shot with such eagerness she bumped into a stranger behind her making his drink spill up. Arthur and Claire burst into laugh for they had too many drinks to think straight. The stranger a tall man looked at her annoyed but when he saw it was a drunken lady his expression changed. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her to him. Claire tried to get rid of him. Arthur stopped laughing and pushed the stranger to the wall grabbing him by the collar of his shirt. “Take yar hands off her!” Claire stepped forward in front of Arthur annoyed. “Come on, Arthur!” She protested. “Because I am a woman you think you always have to protect me? That I’m defenceless?” Arthur confused looked at Claire who suddenly threw a punch to the stranger leaving Arthur completely speechless. “Nice hook!” He whistled praising her. “Ow! That hurt!” She shook her hand in pain. “B'cause ya ain’t doin’ it right, princess.” Said Arthur. “Look,” he grabbed the man again by his shirt. “Ya’ve to close da hand like this, see?” Claire nodded exaggerating the movement. “And when ya punch ya’ve to follow the movement with yar hips, like this.” Arthur punched the man again making him fall on the floor. “Ya see?” “Yes, I think I got it.” She said sure of herself. Arthur nodded at her and raised the man again whose lips were bleeding for that punch. “Then yar turn.” He showed her the man’s jaw. “Please… I didn’t do anything….” The man begged. “Oh, ya won’t leave da lady without her lesson, will ya?” Arthur pushed the man even more against the wall with a menacing tone. “No, no…” He said raising his hands defenceless. Arthur smiled at him sarcastically and turned to Claire to invite her to punch the man. “Okay..” Claire took a deep breath, closed her fist how Arthur just taught her, tried to imitate the hip movement and she finally stroke the man making him fall on the floor. “That’s ma gurl!” Laughed Arthur lifting her from the ground. “She broke ma nose!” The stranger covered his bleeding nose being unable to get up. “Hey! Leave our friend alone, you drunkards!” Two other men appeared behind them, one of them grabbed Arthur’s shoulder. Arthur turned around and removed the hand on his shoulder. “Or what?” Arthur’s reflexes weren’t in his best conditions and couldn’t dodge the punch thrown at him. He nearly fell on the floor but one of the two men took him immobilizing him by his arms while the other started to punch his face and belly. “Hey!” Claire protested trying to free Arthur but all she got was a push that made her bump against the wall hitting her head. “Ya piece of shit!” Arthur used the strong grip from the man he got behind him to kick the man in front of him. He freed himself from the grip and punch the other man on the face making him fall. He straddled him and started punching him again and again. The other man came behind Arthur and wrapped his arms around his neck strangling him. Arthur tried to free himself but he couldn’t. Claire got up and took a bottle that was standing on the bar and hit that man on his head making him fall unconscious. Arthur recovered his breath and looked at Claire who was feeling dizzy unable to stand straight leaning on the wall. Her face told him she was ready to throw up. Arthur took her hand and dragged her in the back alley of the saloon and let her threw up all the alcohol she just consumed. “I told ya to not drink that much….” Arthur was rubbing her back with one hand trying to make her feel better and holding her hair with the other hand. “And that fast…” He chuckled trying to not sound like he was scolding her. “Cornwall wants an heir…” Claire confessed, still leaning on the wall ready to throw up more. Arthur didn’t say anything, he didn’t quite understand what was she saying. “He wants me to have that child….” Tears started rolling down her cheeks and Arthur understood what was happening. “And I don’t want it… I hate him, I don’t want him to touch me ever again… It was so disgusting… I hated every second of it… I just can’t….” She let herself fall on her knees sobbing uncontrollably holding herself trying to erase the memories from last night with her husband. “I feel so dirty…” Arthur not knowing what to say sat down by her side and wrapped her in his arms trying to appease her pain, but the more he shushed at her the more she cried her heart out. He held her tighter feeling the frustration of not being able to do anything and the rage against Cornwall to inflict her so much pain. Suddenly the saloon door opened and the men who Arthur fought minutes before emerged followed by policemen. “There they are!” The broken nose man pointed at them. Arthur felt helpless, Claire was sobbing in his arms unable to stand up and he wasn’t going to leave her there. He sighed. “Everything will be all right.” He whispered in Claire’s ear as the policemen arrested them.

Minutes later they were sitting in a police coach road to the police station. Claire stopped sobbing but she didn’t say a word for a while and Arthur was getting worrier. He didn’t care for him to go spend the night to jail, he had been there too many times to not care anymore, he was worried for Claire. She was in such a mental state that broke Arthur’s heart. They were soon put in different but adjacent cells, the police told them to stay still and maybe the next morning they will be free to go, depending if those three men put charges on them. “I’m sorry…” Claire whispered when they were left alone in their cells. “For what are you apologizing for?” Arthur got near the bars that were separating them. Thankfully the gap between the bars was enough for Arthur’s arms to go through them and he could reach her face to caress it. “If it wasn’t for me….” She continued staring at the floor. “We wouldn’t be in this mess.” “Nonsense.” Arthur cupped her face and lift it to make her look at him. “None of this is your fault.” Claire’s eyes were filled with tears again. “I feel so lost, Arthur… I want to just go away, but I don’t have any other place to be…”   Silent tears fell down her cheeks and Arthur held her as much as the bars allowed him. “It’s okay…” He tried to smooth her. “Why don’t you try to sleep a little?” Claire nodded. They both sat down next to each other, holding hands. Claire fell asleep

[preserving-ferretbrain]

Not Exactly T.H. White

by Viorica

Wednesday, 14 January 2009

Viorica's review of the BBC's cracktastic Merlin.~

After what might be called a bitter breakup with BBC’s Robin Hood, I promised myself that I’d avoid any further TV shows that were more enjoyable for their badness than their quality. So when the majority of my Livejournal friendslist began squeeing over Merlin, I swore I’d avoid the temptation. No matter how shiny and cracky and homoerotic it appeared, I was not going to watch it, because I knew that if I did I’d be sucked into shiny-cracky-homoerotic-bad TV land. But eventually the temptation grew too strong, and I downloaded the first season to watch over Christmas break. I expected bad special effects; I got that. I expected inaccuracy; I got that in droves. I expected mediocre writing and acting, and I got . . . something else.

If you assumed from the title of the show that Merlin is based on Arthurian legends, you’d be better off abandoning that idea right now. The series revolves around a teenage boy named - you guessed it - Merlin who is sent to live at the court of Camelot by his mother, because he’s manifested magical powers, and she has an old friend, Gaius who lives at Camelot and who is better equipped to train Merlin than she is. Unfortunately for Merlin, magic is outlawed in Camelot, and has been since the birth of Prince Arthur about twenty years earlier. Yes, Merlin and Arthur and the same age, and that’s only the beginning of the divergence from the original stories. Merlin manages to land a job as Arthur’s manservant, much to Arthur’s chagrin, as Merlin has a tendency to call Arthur out on his bullshit. From there on in, it’s up to Merlin to protect Arthur from various pissed-off sorcerers (Arthur’s father Uther Pendragon has ordered all magic-users burned at the stake, which has naturally rubbed them up the wrong way) while simultaneously trying to hide his own powers and protect innocent people from Uther’s wrath. He’s helped by Guinevere, aka Gwen, a maid at the castle, and her mistress Morgana, Uther’s ward, who disagrees with his policies. Merlin is also mentored by a dragon being held prisoner under the castle, who has an irritating tendency to intone “Protecting Arthur is your destiny, Merlin!” at least once an episode.

If you think it sounds cheesy, you’re completely right. It’s intended as a kid’s show, and filmed with the audience in mind - despite the rather high amounts of violence (at least one person dies per episode) the camera always cuts away from the nasty stuff. The main conflict is Merlin’s need to hide the fact that he has magical powers, and the fact that this keeps conflicting with his need to protect Arthur, which obviously has no basis whatsoever in Arthurian legend, but then neither does anything else. As the series progresses, Arthur and Merlin’s relationship evolves from that of mutual resentment to comfortable partnership, and eventually friendship (which comes off as very, very very homoerotic, probably due to the fact that it involves a lot of hugging and acts of unwavering devotion. The cynical part of me thinks that the writers are playing to the crowd.) The actors playing Merlin and Arthur are actually quite good, and what they bring to their roles - quiet goodness in Colin Morgan’s case and brash testosterone in Bradley James’s - helps establish the boys as genuinely likeable people, struggling to figure out their place in the world. Angel Coulby is incredibly sweet as shy, blushing Gwen, who spends most of her time trying to make everyone as happy as possible. The weak link in the cast is Katie McGrath, who plays Morgana with a maximum of two facial expressions: smug and perturbed. The older actors are obviously having fun with their roles, and bringing some gravitas to the characters as well - Anthony Stewart Head’s Uther is unlikeable by virtue of his actions (this is, after all, a man who ordered all magicians put to death over a mistake he made) but thanks to Stewart Head’s talent, you can see a bit of humanity shining through from behind the throne. Richard Wilson’s Gaius is your standard mentor/father figure, with a dry sense of humour that managed to make me laugh at least once an episode. John Hurt voiced the Dragon, and there really isn’t much to say about his performance - given the fact that all he gets to do is blather about destiny, there isn’t much room to stretch. The guest stars are touch-and-go - Santiago Cabrera, who played Lancelot, was absolutely awful, while Asa Butterfield was suitably creepy as an eight-year-old Mordred. No one is giving Lawrence Olivier a run for his money, but they’re a very talented bunch, especially considering that most of them haven’t hit thirty yet.

I’m not entirely sure what I expected from the writing. Before watching it, I’d heard the show referred to “crappy tweenager fantasy” so I assumed it’d be a lot of rambling about Destiny and True Love and The Power of Friendship. While that is included (see my note on the Dragon of Destiny) it’s not as wearing as you might expect, mostly because the characters point out the stupidity of doing something because it’s My Destiny at least once an episode. No one wants to watch a show about people who do things because they’re told; most of the struggles come from Merlin and his friends struggling with the expectations they’re being held up to versus their own inherent sense of what’s right. My personal favourite episode revolves around a young boy who Uther wants to execute because he’s a Druid-in-training. Merlin, who obviously takes the stance that killing innocent children is wrong, enlists Morgana’s help to hide the boy, and Arthur’s to smuggle him out of Camelot. For this he is repeatedly chastised by the Dragon, because the boy is eventually going to kill Arthur. Merlin and co say “Screw this” and smuggle the boy away to his own people. At the end of the episode (spoilers, obviously) Arthur asks for his name, and the child replies “Mordred.” It’s a deliciously eerie moment (helped out by Mordred’s creepy stare) and an interesting message about Destiny v. Free Will: the choices of Merlin and his friends will make or break Camelot, but it’s up to them to decide what it’s worth. Fortunately, not all of the destiny-related storylines are that gloomy. For example, one of the show’s most endearing points is the relationship between Merlin and Arthur, which begins with Merlin flat-out chastising Arthur for taunting a servant. Although Merlin is repeatedly pushed towards the prince by the dragon (for this reason, he’s acquired the fandom nickname “Slash Dragon”) their relationship eventually becomes that of friends. When Merlin goes to protect Arthur at the potential expense of his own life, he’s doing it out of affection for the prince rather than a sense of duty, and that - the inherent nobility of the main cast - is a big part of what makes the show so endearing.

There is, of course, the problem of the show’s title, which I’ll have to address or risk this article becoming unadulterated gushing. I’m not especially familiar with Arthurian legend - I know the basics, and I’m about thirty pages into The Once and Future King, but I’m far from an expert - but from what I do know, I honestly can’t understand why they decided to tack the name “Merlin” on it at all. There are references to “canon”, such as it is - in one episode, Arthur is wounded by the Questing Beast - but overall, it plays out like an original story with occasional allusions to Thomas Malory or T.H. White. As I’ve said, it’s good enough to stand on its own, and I think the attempts at labelling it an Arthurian adaptation are going to be detrimental in the long run. Instead of being remembered as a well-written original series, it’s going to end up being dismissed as “that crappy Arthurian adaptation that screwed up the stories”. Actually, the fact that they felt the need to try and slap the name of a pre-existing story on it kind of makes me sad, because it implies that they felt they couldn’t market an original series, and that’s just depressing. Aside from the rage-inducing potential for Arthurian enthusiasts, there’s some holes in the writing - in one episode Morgana says that Gaius has been caring for her since before she can remember, then later claims that she came to live in Camelot when she was ten, implying either than she has long-term memory loss or that someone didn’t proofread closely enough. Still, the small slipups aren’t enough to detract from a genuinely enjoyable show. And if all else fails, you can always hit mute and enjoy the eye candy.Themes:

TV & Movies

~

bookmark this with - facebook - delicious - digg - stumbleupon - reddit

~Comments (

go to latest

)

Wardog

at 10:16 on 2009-01-14Hello, welcome - and thank you for this wonderful review. I no longer need feel ashamed of my secret love for Merlin. When it first came on, I dismissed it after about 10 ten minutes (Uther's first 'by the way, this is the backplot' speech didn't help) but a few weeks later my LJ friendslist also exploded with squee and joy, so I gave it another go and, lo, it was simultaneously awesome and awful and utterly utterly watchable.

You're absolutely right about Morganna not being quite up to speed on, y'know, this 'acting' thing ... but she is very, very beautiful, so I don't mind. And the dragon is a bit repetative, despite being voiced by John Hurt.

The weird thing is I don't really get any slashy kind of vibe from Arthur and Merlin, despite the fact that these two boys finding friendship and making sacrifices for each other ought to be very homoerotic. I suppose I find it slashy in principle but there isn't much a spark between the actors (I mean in terms of teh gay) to make it stick. Possibly I am just missing.

As you say in your conclusion I do find Merlin's status as an adaption interesting - I actually rather enjoyed the complete lack of respect with which they treated the mythos, once I got over myself about it. The Arthurian background does give it all a familiarity and a resonance that might have been lacking if it was just Generic Fantasy Story About Friendship and Valour. Although it is a bit dodgy I have come to think the Arthurian dimension does add something - there's always something joyous about watching people play in the paddling pool of literature and start a water fight.

permalink

-

go to top

Rami

at 10:49 on 2009-01-14Yay! I somewhat guiltily enjoyed Merlin myself, including the not-quite-aside allusions to actual canon / legend (the court genealogist appears to be Geoffrey of Monmouth ;-)). Arthurian legend, historically, has been pretty flexible and as far as I know there isn't any real canon — so I'm all in favor of going in a new direction with it, and I'm quite willing to forgive the writers for taking advantage of all the gravitas and popular awareness that Arthur's story gives you. As you said, that moment when the little Druid boy tells Arthur his name is eerie -- but it would have been meaningless if it hadn't been Mordred talking to Arthur, and / or you didn't know who Mordred and Arthur were.

About the cast — Anthony Head and Richard Wilson are brilliant, of course, I can't disagree, but I have to admit I don't share your reservations about Katie McGrath. (But maybe that's because of the eye-candy factor.)

Perhaps it's my lack of slash goggles but I don't see the "very, very homoerotic" between Merlin and Arthur? I wonder if it's just 21st-century cynicism that makes "heartfelt and sincere" have to mean "Twu Wuv"?

permalink

-

go to top

Rami

at 10:52 on 2009-01-14Oh God Kyra and I have just posted very nearly the same comment.

Resistance is futile

I mean, no, FerretBrain doesn't have a "Collective Consciousness" feature...

permalink

-

go to top

Wardog

at 12:06 on 2009-01-14You will be assimilated....

permalink

-

go to top

Viorica

at 22:18 on 2009-01-14I suppose the slash question depends on what you go in expecting. I was told repeatedly before ever watching it that the boys were the slashiest slashy things that were ever slashed, so I went in with slash goggles firmly strapped on. And I suppose there's an interesting study to be done on the way men show affection v. the way women do and how it's interpreted by outside observers . . . but as far as fandom's concernd, it's all about the pretty and the gay.

As for Katie McGrath, she is pretty, but there's always this irritating feeling that I'd like the character so much more if she could emote properly. As it is, she tends to grate.

Apropos of nothing, have you watched the video diaries? They're screamingly hilarious, and both Bradley James and Colin Morgan act uncannily like their characters. It's a little creepy . . .

permalink

-

go to top

Wardog

at 11:35 on 2009-01-15That's the thing, although I'm not a slasher myself, I do occasionally find myself on the outskirts of fandom enough to have some slash goggles of my own. I was prepared for slash, I looked for slash, I saw ... the motions of slash ... but I didn't *feel* the slash. Sometimes there's a genuine spark between actors or something about the way a relationship is portrayed that makes me secretly believe something could conceivably be going on between them. I was re-watching DS9 (sad bastard that I am) recently and, despite knowing not a damn thing about the DS9 fandom, I became immediately and increasingly convinced that Sisko and Dukat were having incredibly hot hatesex... (Dan holds out for Dax/Kira girlsex, however, - they are certainly very giggly together).

I watched some of the video diaries - Bradley James is so adorably silly. I mean this in a maternal way, not a sick way. I particularly liked his musing on the cockatrice.

By the way, I meant to ask, what caused things to sour with Robin Hood? I never watched it so...

permalink

-

go to top

Gina Dhawa

at 16:04 on 2009-01-16

Arthurian legend, historically, has been pretty flexible and as far as I know there isn't any real canon — so I'm all in favor of going in a new direction with it ... that moment when the little Druid boy tells Arthur his name is eerie -- but it would have been meaningless if it hadn't been Mordred talking to Arthur, and / or you didn't know who Mordred and Arthur were.

This is my justification for liking

Merlin

the way it is. T.H. White took some pretty big liberties along the way (though if you're thirty pages in, I won't spoil that), as have any of the people who have written the story down over the years. The trouble is convincing people there's not really a canon to be followed, that if you take the earliest versions of the stories and put them to what you might find in a modern collection, there are so many differences that you might think you weren't reading the same story at all.

permalink

-

go to top

Viorica

at 19:51 on 2009-01-16Well, it could be argued that there are some basic plot foundations- Merlin being Arthur's mentor, Guinevere as his wife (though they still have time to do that), Morgana being his half-sister, etc. I think the reason some people don't like it is because they grew up on "The Sword and the Stone", so the show is effectively stomping on their childhood memories. I don't have any such memories to get stomped on, so it doesn't bug me.

Re: Robin Hood. It started out as silly fun, but it as it went on, you realized that the people running the show didn't know or care what they were doing. There were no efforts at making the costumes or scenery look nice, and virtually none of the characters were likeable, or even tolerable. Their Robin is the kind of guy who whines at an ex-girlfriend for "betraying" him when she's forced into marriage with another man. The urge to punch the title character in the face was stronger than any desire to keep watching.

permalink

-

go to top

Sonia Mitchell

at 22:16 on 2009-01-16Great article. I didn't catch all the episodes, but definitely enjoyed the ones I did see. I like your point about the gravitas the older actors bring, particularly Head (in what could have been a pretty thankless role given his character's lack of humour).

Interesting discussion about the appropriate amount of reverence for the source material, too. I quite like the way Merlin did it, with plenty there for people who do know a bit about Arthurian legend but not so much you know for sure what's going to happen. I never saw Smallville, but I think of Merlin in much the same way - you know what happens down the line, but these are the gaps in between. And knowing what lies ahead is an interesting experience, because you're watching for it and everyone involved in the show knows you are (of the ones I saw, Lancelot's episode was the most willing to play with this).

It's also pretty dangerous, of course, because unless they're willing to go down the rejected destiny road the main young characters all have to live. I think they've got a nice balance - there's plenty of peril, but the real danger is more often disgrace than death (though I missed the last few episodes, so for all I know there was a dramatic and bloody finale).

permalink

-

go to top

Viorica

at 01:30 on 2009-01-17There was *almost* a dramatic and bloody finale, but it was averted. You should really watch to see why, though- that episode actually managed to make me tear up a bit.

"Great article."

Thanks!

permalink

-

go to top

Rami

at 12:44 on 2009-01-17I never saw Smallville, but I think of Merlin in much the same way

Yes! It's not all that different in many ways -- Smallville takes a lot of liberties with Superman canon (Lex Luthor and Clark Kent being friends, for instance), and I guess one of the reasons that it's more or less accepted is that Superman canon has been retconned so many times nobody's sure what *is* canon anymore. I think much the same is true for Arthurian legend ;-)

permalink

-

go to top

Arthur B

at 15:05 on 2009-01-17I think in comics continuity Lex Luthor and Clark Kent

were

friends until Clark mistakes a controlled explosion in Lex's lab for an actual fire, and horribly injures Lex as he tries to put it out.

Six nerd points for me.

permalink

-

go to top

Wardog

at 19:39 on 2009-01-17I have come late to the party...

The trouble is convincing people there's not really a canon to be followed...

I think this really nails the issue; perhaps, for a lot of people T.H.White is "canon", although it's Roger Lancelyn Green for me, personally - I have no idea who that guy is but basically every book available for kids about anything vaguely mythic, Greek, Norse, Egyptian, Celtic, was written, semi-turgidly, by this dude. Anyway, what I've got distracted from saying here is: a lot of those things we associate with the Arthur Legend today have very little in common with the early source material. Guinevere is barely in Malory - he just wasn't into chicks - and there's a sense that a lot of her bad press comes from the fact he decided to situate the fall of his macho martial ideal in damn women with their lack of appreciation for war, dammit, war. There's very little actually 'romantic' about Le Morte.

permalink

-

go to top

Wardog

at 19:43 on 2009-01-17Also I am now definitely avoiding Robin Hood. I heard it was rubbish but fun, but that sounds like it's moved into "just plain rubbish" territory.

[league-of-light]

Week 4 Pick’em

Look, I know I’m late on the picks this week.  I wanted to get them in yesterday, but other things came up and I didn’t get to it.  I’m sorry, ok?  To make up for it, I have written quite the long pick’em for this week.  I’m not entirely sure if I will be able to make them this long every week, but I think I should be able to. 

Why would I spend all this time writing the pick’em? Great question.  Isn’t there a more productive use of your time? Probably.  Will, you’re moving next week, shouldn’t you be packing or something?  Are you just spending way more time writing picks as a means to delay the inevitable anxiety you’re going to feel about starting a new job and moving?  Do you think this is the healthiest way to deal with that? Psh, you’re not my therapist. 

Anyway, here goes

Yerboi vs Brenner? I hardly know’er

This Will vs. Brenner bout, should be promotionally billed as “Chronically Injured and Underperforming” vs “Complete Lineup Ineptitude”. Both teams come into Week 3 at a resounding 0-2, and are looking to get their season on track after some of high profile trades in the first couple weeks of the season.

There are always big expectations when you make a trade in Fantasy Football.  Typically speaking, you hope and expect that the players you got are going to outperform whomever you traded away (or at the very least perform somewhat similarly). Unfortunately, that won’t always be the case.  Sometimes there are weeks like last week, where JuJu outscored T.Y. Hilton and I am forced to sit there and reflect on how I would have won if I just kept JuJu.  Other times, there are weeks like this week, where Brenner ensures he doesn’t have to deal with the emotional trauma of a trade gone awry because he benches the players he traded for. (No there aren’t, this literally never happens)

I pick myself, simply because I don’t think I’ve actually ever seen a team projected to score as few points as Brenner.

Story To Watch: How quickly it will take Drew Brees to score more than the 3 points Brenner got from Tyrod Taylor.  My guess is 4 plays.

Tangiphil vs Hewie and the Hashslingers

After a fairly explosive first week of the season, we can all finally exhale — Phil’s team is bad again. Shockingly, his 3-headed Running Back Monster is down a head.  Unlike the legend of the Hydra, instead of another head growing in it’s place, Phil decided to chase last week’s bench points and play Nelson Agholor.  If you check his bench this week you may notice Joe Mixon outside of the IR slot, Isaiah Crowell’s wasted 18 point TNF total, and another Jets receiver.  That’s right folks, it’s week 3 and Phil is already in midseason form.

But enough about Phil. Steve is 2-0 and I expect his win streak to continue this week.  In my humble opinion, his team is underprojected with only 98 points, as Big Ben, Melvin Gordon, and Marvin Jones all look poised to be playing catchup in potentially high scoring games.  Look for Steve to hopefully rise in the power rankings after squashing Phil.

Story To Watch: He may be the second head of a three two-headed running back monstrosity, but Adrian Peterson is going to look more like Mike Wazowski than James P. Sullivan this week.  The Packers offense comes to FedEx Field with an offense that looks like two-day expedited shipping, while the Redskins offense has been looking like the Pony Express. Game script gets away from the ‘Skins and they abandon the run.

Kyle vs Sean

Close to half of this league isn’t from Rockland, so I’m going to use this opportunity to tell a story.  To the hometown heroes - some of the overarching details may be incorrect, but I don’t care I have the talking stick. If you want accuracy you can write the damn blog post next week.  Anyway, in sixth grade every middle school student has to take World History.  The curriculum is geared towards ancient civilizations, and a decent chunk of time is spent on Egypt.  As such, every year there was (is?, not sure if they still do it) a grade-wide Egypt project where students had to use their knowledge of Egypt, make something, and showcase it to the class.  Think of it like a science fair, but with crappy Egyptian dioramas instead of baking soda volcanoes.  Since I was a bright eyed ambitious young man who loved art and mythology, I knew I would do great on this project.  I chose the ambitious task of making a sculpture of Horus, the Falcon-headed man prince of the Egyptian pantheon. It wasn’t long before I realized my doodling skills didn’t translate well into making 3D models, but I was in far too deep.  I molded the clay as best I could, and then “accidentally” left it in the oven too long so it burned to a crisp and was nearly unidentifiable.  Needless to say, I didn’t do very well on that project.

Why am I telling you this? Because look at Sean’s team.  Does it look real good on paper? Sure. Does that mean he is likely going to win this week? Probably.  But has his overconfidence blinded him into creating a team made of glass with absolutely no depth in a 16-team league? 67%, yes.  (Because that is the grade I got on the project.)

Story to Watch: Alex Collins has become the running back equivalent of Hillary Swank.  Hot or not? Stay tuned this week and find out…

You Guys Again vs. Johnson Ertz

The moment you’ve all been waiting for is here folks.  I…..I can’t believe it’s finally happening.  After almost two full years, the day has finally come.  Dylan Feldman vs. Dylan Costa are facing off in a fantasy football matchup which I am officially dubbing “The Battle for the Right to be Called Dylan in the Fantasy Football League Group Chat” (and since we love our acronyms here, aka TB4TR2BCDITFFLGC).  Two Dylans enter, only one Dylan leaves. This matchup is arguably one of the most important matchups we have ever seen in this league, and has a chance to change the history books forever.

Unfortunately for Dylan Costa, his squad isn’t exactly striking fear into anyone these days.  I’ll have to go with Dylan Feldman, but his lineup has more red letters than Hester Prynne after an all weekend slumber party at Arthur Dimmesdale’s Dimmesdale Dimmahome.

Story to Watch: With the return of Aaron “I smoke Marijuana so Bowers thinks I’m a bad person” Jones coming back to Green Bay, Jamaal Williams’ usage should be monitored. As the kids say, he hasn’t been very good over the past two weeks, and Aaron Jones is ready to come in blazing *~!420!~*

Bearkley vs. Watch Me

Imagine my shock when I saw I won the bidding war for Ryan Fitzpatrick.  I immediately rushed to find the owners of the Tampa Bay WRs so I could celebrate our good fortune as Fitzmagic showers us all with fantasy points.  Now imagine my shock when I saw Samantha has benched Chris Godwin, not only a rookie (we all know my irrational hype with rookies), but a rookie whose name is lit a combination of God and Win.  I don’t know about you, but doesn’t it feel like Samantha has renounced God and doesn’t want to win this week’s matchup?

On the flipside, Nico runs our Dungeons and Dragons group, and if the 80s taught me anything it’s don’t feed weird aliens after midnight, and that D&D is for devil worshipping heathens.  With any hope of good Christian fun squandered for this matchup, it really is anybody’s game.  I want to believe in the underdog, but more favorable matchups lead me to believe that Nico will pull out the W.

Story to Watch: Saquon Barkley caught 2 of 6 targets week 1 against the Jags.  That number increased to 14 of 16 targets last week as Eli Manning completely lost interest in holding on to the football for more than 1 second.  Is it possible that Saquon receives 28 targets this game as Eli Manning has to look JJ Watt and Jadaveon Clowney in the eyes?

Washington vs. Walshington

I want to take a second here and pour one out for Walsh, who didn’t answer my trade offer or my text message regarding Dalvin Cook and Allen Robinson.  Walsh, you took an injury bullet for me and I will forever be grateful.  It’s appropriate that I mention taking a bullet, because rumors have it Frank Gore was actually there when the first metal bullet was shot in 1425.  Between Gore and Kerryon Johnson, Walsh will be lucky if he gets 14.25 points from his running backs this week.

Andy surprisingly continues to ride or die with Andrew Luck, despite Luck being unable to throw the football more than 15 yards. At this point I assume he is just taunting Arielle with Bortles on his bench, and we have to assume that if Bortles continues putting up 30 point games, eventually Andy might start him.  The biggest story on this squad is how Andy managed to get two of the best big play boom or bust WRs with John Brown and Will Fuller, while also having Amari Cooper and Mike Evans.  That’s a solid receiving core you got there pal, and I just want you to know I see it and appreciate it.

Story To Watch: C’mon, it’s Philip Lindsay.  Every week it’s Philip Lindsay. Everyone loves a hometown hero and I have greatly enjoyed watching this kid ball out.

Bowers v Arielle

I’m high on Dylan Leone Arielle’s team this year.  How could you not be? It was drafted by a man who has $45,000 in fantasy football great young woman who has shown her commitment to the league.  For whatever reason, ESPN’s site stopped working just as I was going to look at this matchup, so unfortunately I am going to have to give an abridged write up of my pick.  I have played these teams back to back so you would assume I know who is on their rosters, but I can’t remember anything other than Russell Wilson and James Conner on Arielle’s team, and Golden Tate and Kirk Cousins on Bowers’.

Based on this limited memory alone, I suppose I am going to pick Bowers in what will likely be another close matchup for the Reikland Reavers

Story to Watch: The story of life as I take this momentary absence from ESPN’s Fantasy Football to reflect on the finer things in the world.  Like Yahoo Fantasy Football.

Jason v Harnsowl

ESPN is still not working for me, neither on my phone nor my computer, so I can’t really give much analysis here.  However, not much analysis is needed.  Unlike his godless sister, Jason is a man of faith. And if George Michaels taught us anything, it’s that you gotta have faith.  You gotta have faith, faith, faith.  Carson Wentz returns this week and I don’t care whoever Harnsowl is playing, it doesn’t really matter.  I mean, as far as the matchup is concerned it might matter, but emotionally speaking, Jason has already won this week. 

I can’t be expected to pick a winner in a matchup that already has a winner, so instead I’ll take this time to remind you to spay or neuter your pets.  Bob Barker used to do a fantastic job of reminding the American people to do so, and if I am being completely honest I just don’t think Drew Carey delivers the message with the same panache. Like sure, I know Drew still says it at the end of the show, but does he really even believe it? Only Drew can really answer that question, but if I had to guess I would bet $100 $101 Drew.  While we’re on the topic, if any of you ever manage to go on Price is Right and you do that thing where you bid one dollar higher than someone else did, you can consider our friendship over.  Not only is it the worst strategy ever, it’s also rude as hell to the other contestant.  In some cases I’m sure the people legitimately don’t know what to bet after someone else bet around the same thing they did, but for the love of God at least bet like $10 higher so there is some tension in the room.  

But yeah, back to football, I pick Jason

Story to Watch: The next episode of Price is Right, Monday September 24th

[elletromil]

Top 5 and Bottom 5 Fics

I was tagged by the amazing @thesilverqueenlady​​ and I’ll do like it the same way aka sort by kudos. I’m just going to ignore the few ficlets I just added not half an hour ago tho.

TOP 5 FICS

1. I'm not calling you a ghost

Fandom = Kingsman

Kudos = 1813

Summary: He closes his eyes for a few seconds, before opening them again. Hun. Still there. He must be on the really good drugs. In the chair besides his bed, Harry Hart is sitting reading what must be a report, a little frown that only accentuates the scar on the left side of his forehead.

Author’s Note = I am seriously not surprised to see that this one is on top of the list. Three years later I am still blown away by the response I got for it and I still get comments on it once in a while.

2. I'll take my time and make it last

Fandom = Kingsman

Kudos = 1192

Summary: They were standing on the front lawn, all forty or so new recruits for Kingsman looking at one another warily, waiting for their instructor to make his appearance. Their number was unusually large, but circumstances were also unusual. After V-Day, the number of surviving Knights had been ridiculously few and the new Arthur had decided that instead of holding separate training for each position, they would find their new Knights all in one go. Thus, the remaining Knights had been invited to propose more than one candidate and it had been made clear that the restrictions the previous Arthur had imposed on who could have a chance to become a Kingsman had been thrown out the window. New blood, different blood, was the only way Kingsman would adapt to this new age. In which Harry is training the new recruits, they have no clue who he is within the organisation and are pretty much all convinced he's shagging with agent Galahad.

Author’s Note = I can’t say I am surprised to see this one so near the top either. I had an amazing time writing this fic and I think what makes it so enjoyable is that it’s not told from an outsider point of view.

3.  Jewels of Flowers

Fandom = The Hobbit

Kudos = 1147

Summary: Usually, Dwarves would do anything to cover their spouse with as much precious metals and gems that could be afforded. Not only was it a way to show to all that they could provide for them, it was also a way to publicly show their devotion.However, after many months, Thorin has yet to give anything to his Consort...

Author’s Note = For the longest time, this fic have been at the very top. It’s the fic that really got me back into writing for fandom (well, the series) and it’ll always hold a special part of my heart.

4.  Before getting 101 dogs, you need at least 2

Fandom = Kingsman

Kudos = 1030

Summary: JB loves his human, but he's getting rather fed up with how Eggsy won't even look at the nice gentleman he's clearly interested in they keep seeing in the park. He's going to take the matters into his own paws.

Author’s Note = Ok, so I remember getting a wild response for this one, but seriously I would never expect it to still be in the top 5 three years later. It’s basically a very silly ficlet but apparently, the Kingsman fandom do enjoy their Disney au and their dogs XD

5.  Come Sail Away (Into the Light of the Dark Black Night)

Fandom = Kingsman

Kudos = 968

Summary: Eggsy had always known his soulmate would be older than him. Or no, that wasn’t entirely right. He might have been hearing his soulmate all his life, but it had been a while before anyone had explained to him what it really meant.

Author’s Note = Considering it’s a soulmate au, I’m really not surprised to see this in the top 5 XD We do enjoy our clichés!

BOTTOM 5 FICS

1.  The Ending of a Song

Fandom = Doctor Who

Kudos = 7

Summary: As he was present for the Doctor's death, so will the Doctor be for his.

Author’s Note = It’s such a short ficlet in a fandom I am so not active in that it really doesn’t surprise me that this is at the complete bottom XD

2. Of fire and shrapnel

Fandom = Kingsman

Kudos = 8

Summary: Harry doesn't remember much, but he knows one thing. He's always had those nightmares.

Author’s Note = It’s a ficlet for a pairing that’s pretty rare in Kingsman. I’m amazed it even got to 8 kudos u.u

3.  Dreams

Fandom = Sherlock

Kudos = 12

Summary: It's a dream you often have.

Author’s Note = Same as the ficlet for Doctor Who, this is for a fandom I’m really not active in. In fact I’m kind of shocked it did good enough to warrant a double digit kudo count xD Especially considering it’s in the second person pov

4. Lost in Space

Fandom = Kingsman

Kudos = 12

Summary: Caught in a ion storm, Eggsy and Roxy are stranded in the middle of nowhere.

Author’s Note = I’m quite please that this one is in the double digit all things considered. It’s a horror ficlet without a pairing, just a friendship, I would have expected it to get like 1 kudos and I’d have been happy too

5. Whatever it is we fell into

Fandom = Kingsman

Kudos = 13

Summary: Ten years ago, Tequila and Ginger made a pact that if by now neither of them were in a relationship, then they would marry each other so they wouldn't die sad loner. Of course, neither found a significant other during that decade, but they don't mind if it means marrying the person they fell in love with. Even if that person don't love them back.

Author’s Note = Considering it’s for a het pairing in Kingsman fandom, I’m surprise it did that good? Especially since I can say honestly it’s not my best work. Not that it’s bad, but it’s just reallllly self-indulging (and indulging my friend for whom it was written). I might even go back one day and plot it out more carefully.

So as usual not tagging anyone, but if you wanna do it, consider yourself tagged by me :)

[fyrapartnersearch]

rEEE writers inbound

hey there! i’m rhys. i am 22, live in the ct, and love ooc chatter! my ooc is pretty lax, but i promise my writing is a helluva lot more formal. i write in third person, past/present tense, and paragraph form. im not a rapid-fire writer, and won’t be able to constantly get replies in every day (i can get responses in anywhere between every couple of days to a week or two). however, i will ALWAYS put tlc into all of my posts and characters! i write anywhere between 300-900 words. it’s definitely alright if you don’t feel up to that amount at any given point, but i do appreciate keeping it somewhere in this range. im very wordy, and can spew out a novel if im excited enough lmao

  my limits are pretty general; i will not do beastiality, pedophilia, vore, or scat. i can indulge in a variety of kinks, but if it’s a little much for any average person, i’m less likely to write it out (i.e extreme ddlg or adult babies, furries, extreme pet play, etc.) but i can be persuaded to lightly touch on certain kinks as long as they’re not 10000% filth lmao i cannot, and will not, do seme/uke or top/bottom dynamics. absolutely not. queer relationships shouldn’t be defined by whose taking the D. i dont want to interact with squeamish little femboys, or awful macho men with downright rapey tendencies. versatility is key, and power struggles are what i live for! i will, however, indulge in BDSM dynamics with certain plots— although, domination isn’t always about penetration, you know?

  give me characters with aspirations, hopes and dreams, and crushing past experiences that flesh them out into who they are. no one is perfect, and we all have things that rear their ugly heads in the dark. problematic characters, male or female or anything in between, are everything. i love lgbtq+ characters, as i am part of the community myself, and will almost always be more inclined in writing queer characters. not to say i won’t write for strictly straight pairings, m/f, but usually i am iffy when approached with it if i am just meeting you.

  i write for all genders, ethnicity, and orientations! you can find a few writings examples of mine here. i am pretty welcoming of most things. smut, of course. some kink a little out there that you want to suggest? let's do it, dude. i am super OOC friendly and i am pretty much a garbled mess when i get to know you!  i’m a social person— i feel like a burden if you’re not into chatting with me, so please, if you’re not looking to be both a writing partner as well as a friend, i might not be the gal for you. i am open to crooked relationships, ones that don't function right, dark/morally corrupt characters, unconditional love, etc. my interests fluctuate! i am down, 24/7, guys! i only roleplay over email, but will ooc chat over discord or hangouts! here's a list of fandoms and pairings below that i am looking to write for atm. i do have many more, but these are just the ones off the top of my head!

_________

  Borderlands

Handsome Jack/Rhys

Handsome Jack/Rhys/Nisha

  Life is Strange

Max Caulfield/Chloe Price

Max Caulfield/Kate Marsh/Victoria Chase

Nathan Prescott/Warren Graham

Rachel Amber/Chloe Price

Frank Bowers/Damon Merrick

  DC

Dick Grayson/Jason Todd

Dick Grayson/Slade Wilson

Dick Grayson/Wally West

Harley Quinn/Pamela Isley

  Batman: Telltale Series

Bruce Wayne/John Doe

Bruce Wayne/Selina Kyle

Bruce Wayne/Harvey Dent/Selina Kyle

  Marvel

Stephen Strange/Tony Stark

Bucky Barnes/Sam Wilson

Thor/Bruce Banner

Peter Parker/Harry Osborn

Peter Parker/Wade Wilson

Wade Wilson/Vanessa Carlysle

Gwen Stacy/Peter Parker/Harry Osborn

Peter Parker/Wade Wilson/Vanessa Carlysle

  Uncharted

Nathan Drake/Samuel Drake

Nathan Drake/Harry Flynn

Chloe Frazer/Nadine Ross

  TTGOT

Asher Forrester/Gwyn Whitehill

Rodrik Forrester/Arthur Glenmore

Mira Forrester/Margaery Tyrell

Gryff Whitehill/Elaena Glenmore

Gared Tuttle/Finn

Gared Tuttle/Josera Snow

  The Walking Dead

Rick Grimes/Negan

  TWDG

Javier Garcia/David Garcia

Clementine/Gabriel Garcia

Clementine/Louis

Clementine/Violet

Marlon/Louis

Javier Garcia/Paul “Jesus” Rovia

  Far Cry (3-5)

Jason Brody/Vaas Montenegro

Jason Brody/Bambi “Buck” Hughes

Ajay Ghale/Pagan Min

Ajay Ghale/Sabal

Ajay Ghale/Sabal/Amita

Rook/Joseph Seed

Rook/John Seed

Rook/Faith Seed

  Punisher

Frank Castle/David Lieberman

Frank Castle/Billy Russo

  Mass Effect: Andromeda

Scott Ryder/Reyes Vidal

Scott Ryder/Gil Brodie

Scott Ryder/Peebee

Sara Ryder/Peebee

Sara Ryder/Vetra Nyx

  Kill Your Darlings

Lucien Carr/Allen Ginsberg

  ____________

Onto original plots!

——————

  Office romances/BDSM/Friends with benefits-turned-lovers

okay, so, i had this type of roleplay with someone a while back. maybe more than two or three years back that i fell out of contact with and i could never really get it out of my head because it was probably one of the best character-building stories i’ve ever taken part of. :’) i don’t remember their name, but i do hope they’ll contact me again if they ever see this. while some of this may seem specific, none of it is concrete and i promise i am very easy to get along with and very accomodating! the plot i remember had three different relationships— completely different people, with different lives and different worlds, with only one common thing between them being that they work in the same building. we can do all three, or we can do a few, or even  one! i dont mind.

  **pairing A; M/F preferred (lol i know broke my own rule, but i adore femdoms! extra: please come with an open mind. this is not a 50 shades AU, and i do not want it to be.) this one is between a CEO and an intern in their senior year of college. The CEO is a femdom, and freshly out of divorce, takes a liking to the clumsy intern who’d spilled coffee on her more than once. The intern has never been in a relationship with an older woman, let alone one running a multi-million dollar company, but hey, isn’t that the dream for some broke twenty-something down on his luck? She introduces him to BDSM, and while he’s hesitant, the idea is as exciting as it is frightening. He accepts her offer— while it’s difficult at times, he begins to learn more about her. Her ex-spouse, her young child, and her unwillingness to develop a sincere relationship with him. She’s had subs before, and while she tells him he isn’t disposable, he begins to feel it was the truth. He grows to have feelings for her, and while she isn’t too keen on admitting it, the feeling is mutual. I’d love to explore their dynamic in and out of sex, and the conflict between the intern and her ex-spouse. I love age gaps, and think it would be awesome to see them develop over time to find common ground to establish a personal relationship and trying to even out their power imbalances. I don’t mind playing either the CEO or the intern, but I am leaning more towards the CEO. :V**

  **pairing B; M/M preferred (this one is waaay more gritty and more dub-con than anything so please beware!) this one is between two higher-ups who have been butting heads for years— and occasionally, sexual tension neither have acted on. A is a snarky, openly gay man, and probably what some would consider shallow and noncommittal. B is a brooding, closeted ‘by the book’ type well into his thirties, and refuses to engage in anything sexual with men despite his obvious attraction; B has younger siblings he takes care of as well as his mother, and being the oldest son and only provider, hasn’t done a thing for himself in twenty years. A lives completely alone, complete with a bachelor pad and, the influx of flings that went nowhere past sex, and has risen to the top with his own sheer will. they have conflicting motives, and while both of them have an intense hatred for each other, they’ve never engaged in physical altercations in fear of losing their jobs. one day, A jabs a little below the belt, and finally, B starts swinging. this fight turns into something way more heavy in the company parking lot. what happens between them in the long run is something desperate, needy, and longing for real affection. it began as a mindless need for sex, angry and mean and formal, with B being especially unwilling to ‘give up’ his masculinity and ever be on the receiving end in fear of losing the control he needs to keep this up. i’d love to see them begin to see each other in a different light, and changing each other for the better. i’d also love to see A showing B that sex doesn’t have to be meaningless, and that he doesn’t need to fear letting A be in control. And B showing A that commitment isn’t as terrifying as it may be, with them gradually going from rivals, to friends with benefits, and eventually lovers. i, again, don’t mind writing for either! **

  **pairing C; F/F preferred. (aaa this pairing is way more fluffy and sweet, with hurt/comfort as a stable of their dynamic.) this one is between two small-office employees in the company. A is fairly tame at work in order to support her sibling(s), of which she has adopted from her father’s custody years ago. she is fairly confident with her sexuality, and while not being the type to frequent clubs, is dragged along by a few friends and there, meets B. B is a young woman who just recently got out of a relationship with an abusive ex fiance— B has only ever been with that man, and was never confident in exploring her sexuality due to a religious upbringing and parents who were dead set on traditional values. she’s never strayed from her ex, and while he wasn’t faithful or remotely good to her in return, she was heartbroken with their split. months after, he returns to the city and B’s close friends decide to take her out on a girls’ night to make her feel better— B coincidently sees her ex, and feeling childish and unattractive, heads off to the bar to get a drink. she’s nowhere near a drinker, and just before she does drown her sorrows, is hit on by A. while initially shocked, B is flustered and finds herself immediately attracted to A. they have a one-night stand, and while B believes that A would just leave in the morning, A instead lays with her until she wakes up, and leaves her number. B is too anxious to text her. they bump into each other at the elevator that Monday. they agree to be just friends, until B knows what she wants. A is willing to wait. B might have a crush, and A is intent on building B up to love herself and her body. i would overall prefer to write for A, but if you’re dead set, no prob!**

  Serial killer/1960’s/Small town sheriff

no preferred pairing! would love, love, love to see something between a serial killer and a small town sheriff in the mid-to-late sixties. we could make up a new little town, or find one to our liking! A is the sheriff who had been born and raised in this town with a good home life, loving parents, and a steady moral compass, albeit trapped in a loveless marriage. they know everyone, and every nook and cranny of the place like the back of their hand. this is the type of place where people don’t have to lock their doors at night, or constantly watch their kids when they’re out in the yard playing. that is, until people start going missing and horrifyingly mutilated bodies began to pop up around town. B is a well-liked baker in town; known to be genuinely friendly and kind, B has a very corrupt past. both of their parents were heinously abusive, and as a child, B developed sociopathic tendencies. B was inherently spiteful of the town and the people in it, for leaving them to rot in hell for eighteen years, and for never reaching out. B formed a god complex, his intentions to ‘purify the corrupt’. they keep tabs on almost everyone in town, and the victims they do take are put in the soundproof basement of his home to be ‘baptized’; tortured, beaten, and mutilated beyond recognition. A and B are friendly with each other as A comes to the bakery every morning, with B’s motives completely unbeknownst. one night, A, frustrated and pissed from the dead ends of the case of the decade, decides to head to the bar and relax. B is the one face A didn’t mind seeing that night, and one thing lead to another, with A and B in a dark alley getting each other off— i definitely see this as B grooming A to be a complicit pet, and when A gets closer and closer to figuring out who the killer is, he forms a deep connection with B. B develops a possessiveness over A, along with that sense of ownership he’d established between them. B manipulates A, coerces him into a false sense of security, and eventually— A finds out, and while B initially thinks to kill A, A is corrupted by B and forms some kind of stockholm syndrome for B. it’s up to A on whether or not they turn B in, or cover the killer’s tracks. B, despite his very sick and repulsive nature, develops a true infatuation for A, as close to love as they were ever going to get, and A is desperate enough to please B that they’ll do anything to not disappoint them.

  Post apocalypse/decades later/immunity

no pairing preferred! the plot I had in mind is loosely based off of a video game called "The Last of Us", which i am sure most of you have a general knowledge of! (definitely check it out if you don’t :O it’s a great game!!) the prompt i was shooting for goes something like this; in a post-apocalyptic world where a pandemic has killed off most living species, character A is a lone wolf with little to do with other people that don't benefit him, except for a select few. A is especially rough around the edges, as he's lived through some sick shit and lived to tell the tale. A had once been part of a group dedicated to finding a cure, but things went south, and a lot of people died. A had a close bond with the leader of said group, and coincidentally they were the only survivors. their past together, having been deeply demented and twisted, caused them to fall out. said leader has rebuilt a new group in the ten years since the last time they'd seen A. character B is the only known immune person alive, and has dedicated their life to being a resource to finding a cure. A and his (current) contact/partner in crime have something taken from them, and are determined to get it back. they do some searching, and are confronted with this group-- they have what they need, but are only willing to give it to them for a favor in return. no one can outrun their past forever. so, this plot isn't concrete. things can be changed, we can do whatever we want, and i am happy to comply to any revisions or suggestions! i'd really enjoy taking on A, if that's alright!

  TREASURE HUNTERS/ANCIENT CURSES/LOVE-HATE DYNAMICS/MODERN

treasure hunters!!!! yES!! think Uncharted or Tomb Raider. an architect/treasure hunter is being funded an expedition to find a lost treasure and they are forced to bring along a reporter in order to receive the funds. the reporter and architect certainly dont get along in the beginning— they bicker, and clash on most fronts. the expedition wasnt meant to be dangerous. what was initially thought to be a simple job turned into something treacherous; bandits, a team of hired hitmen and their leader looking to take the treasure for themselves, and some rather supernatural elements that they both couldnt quite put a finger on. the treasure hunter and the reporter have to work together to get out of this alive, and get to the artifact before someone else does. (the “treasure” is definitely up for debate!! we can chose a real life lost treasure, or just make one up!! it can be anywhere around the world, and everything is at our disposal).

  DEMON/INHERITANCE/HUNTERS/MODERN

character A has an awful time living in the city— alone, and without mom's guidance, completely lost. one day they receive a call about a deceased relative, one they'd never heard of, one that apparently left their estate and everything in it in their will to A. with nothing but the clothes on their back, A took a shot in the dark and drove out to this presumed "estate" come early summer, only to find that it's a mansion in a tiny little town with an eerie vibe and populated by the typical small town churchgoers and farm folk. living in this town was a hell of a challenge; everyone was nice, too nice, and people started to go missing. character B is an exceptionally charismatic, charming person and the only mechanic/handyman in town. A and B become friends, partially, when A needs to fix up the piping in their estate. A stumbles upon the attic one day, and for once, they start to get why this whole town reeked to the roots in weird shit-- their deceased relative was tracking something here in this town, having to do with all of the MIA townsfolk. DR has a board of possible suspects, and at the center? B. A shrugs it off as their relative having been paranoid, but the longer A stays in this town, the more apparent it becomes that DR wasnt crazy. B is, in fact, not the murderer, instead a supernatural being (open for debate! im on the fence with demons, vampires, etc.) on a mission to track down the monster, same as DR. i am so down for internal struggles, sweet gestures, and overall, two people just trying to make it work! i could also see A being hella paranoid that B is the monster, and maybe tries to throw cloves of garlic at them only to realize thats not exactly how this monster hunter business works lmao

  DEPRESSED WRITER/YOUNG MUSE/between 1920’s-1960’s/sex, drugs, & the american dream

m/m preferred! A is a severely depressed middle-aged man believing his life has been wasted. his wife left him with their child at her hip, his career was in a rut, and he had nothing left to live for. opting for suicide, he goes out one evening to purchase a bottle of gin to down with a handful of prescription sleeping pills when he returned to his apartment. instead of going directly home, he’s swept in by the music in an underground club for queers. there he meets B; all encompassing, angel faced, and the only person A didn’t know how to look away from. B is a former US Navy Seal, aspiring musician, and avid indulger of the human body— A stays a little too long, owlish and red, and after the show, B approaches him with a cattish smile. they spark a friendship, and A is thrown down the rabbit hole when B introduces him to his social circle, filled to the brim with drag queens, junkies, queers, and the overall unusual— he integrates into this community, his contemplation of suicide only a distant memory, and begins to find himself extremely attracted to B. he lights a fire in A, something dangerous and unquenchable, and A finds himself drawn in by the unpredictability. A embarks with B on a journey of self exploration, passion, and inevitable love in a world that scorned the oddities of human attraction and anyone who dared to be free.

  thanks for your time! if you've read through, please contact me at dotiscat@gmail.com on email or rhys#3615 on discord and mention kiwi somewhere in your initial message. n_n

  Rhys xoxo