#baby u mean more to them than just hockey!!!!!

[hinakyuu]

pretty sure it's only a matter of time before I have a complete meltdown about Matthew being so embraced by the Panthers org as a whole. they just appreciate him so much and it's 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

delayed meltdown ‘til the end of SCF sjdjdk (OKAY so i wasn’t planning on replying to this with a whole ass essay, but i couldn’t stop once i started 🫠 tldr; matthew was determined to make a family of his new team and everyone found themselves helpless to resist and now here we are!)

honestly, yeah, i can’t imagine what it was like for the panthers to lose two guys that were not only such an integral part of their team, but had been playing there for several years (huberdeau a decade??). it’s the same for any big trade, the adjustments having to be made, the growing pains of having to establish a new team identity, navigating all the other shit that comes with it. at the beginning i’m sure it was professionalism driving their interactions, not all the players knew what matthew would be like, all the reference they had was on-ice interactions (with the exception of bennett and lomby). and barky is such a nice guy, there’s no way he’d be anything less than polite to the new guy (even if they got him in exchange for his longtime teammate and friend).

what gets me all the time is that we know matthew was struggling in calgary, even if the fans loved him and he had some good friends there, ultimately they treated his emotions/passion as a liability. you know the whole “it can’t be a riot every night” and then not stepping in to defend him when there was an altercation; they just didn’t have his back. then cut to the big blockbuster trade of the summer and he’s so earnest when he says how happy he was to be going to florida, how intentional it all was on his end, he really really wanted to come to florida and play for them, saw a future with them.

then matthew is just the same guy he always is: the guy that takes the trainers out to dinner. i think what started off as a professional relationship with his team has turned into genuine friendship. the panthers, especially under barky’s leadership, weren’t going to turn the new guy away; they all want to make this work, they all want to play great hockey together and hopefully even win the big one. but it’s so amazing to me how they really embraced him, no one is asking him to change his style of play, to be quieter, smaller. they defend him and jump in if he’s in trouble (even if he’s not in trouble).

they joke with him, laugh with him, have nothing but great things to say about him, sometimes not even related to how many goals he scored or assists he made or points he has, but just how great a person they find him. matthew knows his team has his back and in turn he can give over all of himself to them. and look how far they got as a team when everyone feels supported by the other and has trust in each other. not to be extra corny, but i think the power of friendship has really sorta propelled this team to where they are. not to say they haven’t been playing great hockey, because clearly they wouldn’t be where they are if they didn’t have the skill or all the technical components.

i think the tumultuous regular season they had really tested the new florida panthers identity and it was either going to make or break them. their ability to adapt as a team, to grind and work hard as a team, having the gall to believe in themselves when everyone thought they had no business being in the playoffs, all that comes down to trusting what they’ve worked all season to establish. and yeah, sometimes hosting a team dinner is a seemingly inconsequential thing that helps with that.

[sergeifyodorov]

How does world juniors work and where would one watch?

This is my first season watching the nhl and I’m from nz so I suspect we wont be represented lol but I’m keen to learn more and watch some! Any recommendations on what ones to watch?

omg anon WELCOME and also ... a brief WORLD JUNIORS PRIMER for you all...

Puppy Bowl!

If you're from NZ I'm not sure you know about the Puppy Bowl -- a show run concurrent to the Super Bowl, but all the participants are puppies? It means absolutely nothing but it is adorable. The World Juniors are basically that, but also it is exactly as important as the Olympics what are you talking about. Their official name is the "IIHF U-20 World Championship," which is a pretty self-explanatory name -- it's a tournament for players 20 and under (I believe they have to be at least sixteen, but because young athletes mature physically a LOT in those four years, the vast majority are eighteen-nineteen-twenty). Tradition dictates it starts on Boxing Day, and it runs for about three weeks -- it starts with a round-robin, followed by a single-elimination tournament, a bronze-medal match, and a relegation match.

Players are selected by their national hockey administration -- for Canada, it's Hockey Canada, but all countries within the IIHF (International Ice Hockey Federation) have their own. The intricacies of ~Sports Bureaucracy~ are really long and only a LITTLE relevant, but every country ices the best roster they can, which means players are often "loaned" from CHL teams, NCAA universities, European league teams, or, occasionally, the NHL. (Note: You can usually tell how good a World Junior team is by how many players have been drafted/signed by NHL teams: the Canadians, Swedes, and Americans are almost always entirely draftees or under-18s, while the other teams in the upper division might only have a handful, or even only one, drafted player.)(Second note: The quality of a team has less correlation than you might think to them winning a single-elimination tournament.)

Like I said earlier, it starts with a round-robin: there are ten teams in the main WJ (we'll get to this in a second), divided into two groups of five, who each play each other once. The worst-performing team of each group is sent to the relegation match post-tournament, and the eight other teams do a single-elimination match until one team wins gold.

Teams and Divisions

This year, the top ten teams are: Canada, the US, Sweden, Finland, Germany, Norway, Czechia, Slovakia, Switzerland, and Latvia. Because of the invasion of Ukraine, Russia is banned from participating in IIHF tournaments, but when it's not it's always in the top ten (likely instead of Norway, Switzerland, or Latvia.) UNLIKE the NHL, the IIHF has multiple "divisions" of teams, and at the end of the tournament the bottom two teams play a match to avoid relegation from the official ~IIHF World U20 Championship~ to Division I, which is right under it. There is also a Division II and a Division III -- and after some sleuthing, there IS a New Zealand team in Div III!!!!!

Canada and Broadcasting

Unfortunately, the WJC is basically only popular in Canada -- essentially a Boxing Day tradition to watch the babies play and cheer for our teams' prospects, or, usually, just Team Canada. In fact, Hockey Canada has bid to host it basically every other year until 2030. Because of this (or maybe a bit of a chicken-egg situation), the WJC is... kind of hard to find online if you're outside of Canada? I know for a fact it's broadcast on TSN (one of our sports networks) without any regional blackouts, but I don't think there's anything available in NZ that will be streaming it, especially because it's not one of the IIHF top ten countries. If you're not already doing so, you'll probably have to sail the high seas for your fix. (If you don't know where to do this, you can slide into my DMs and I can send you a link!)

Who to watch?

There's basically two routes for this: one, pick the team you think is going to win, or two, go look up what prospects your NHL team has that are playing at the WJC and watch them (Note: neither the Avs nor the Oilers have any WJC prospects this year!) The IIHF website has the game schedule listed, including time-zone adjusted start times -- they're all staggered, so if you have a lot of free time you might be able to watch more than one!

Personally, as both a Canadian and a Leafs fan -- both WJC-chosen Leafs prospects are Team Canada players, including their captain Fraser Minten -- I would recommend Team Canada (unashamed homer bias here.) They're usually one of the favourites to win, and they're almost entirely either drafted or not yet eligible, so you can see either your prospects or you can look at Celebrini and hope (if your team is bad) that he's coming to you one day. The Americans are generally considered Thee tournament favourites, if you prefer your teams highly touted.

To me, the WJC has twofold appeal: one, junior hockey is, for lack of a better term, messier than high-level hockey? Pucks are more likely to bounce in silly ways, rushes can get crazy, and you can get both a super high amount of shots and a super high amount of goals. Hormonal teenagers playing super high-stakes hockey for the first times in their lives and they can get really, really into it! The passion a kid has scoring a medal-winning goal in front of a sold-out crowd is absolutely unrivalled by all but the Cup Finals. (OMGGGGG THIS IS YOUR FIRST HOCKEY SEASON TOO... ok don't let me start talking about nhl playoffs because THIS is the puppy bowl that is the super bowl. but worse! i mean better but it's worse (for your cardiovascular health.))

Two, that these guys are still so young, and that at least a few of them have long, illustrious, potentially-Hall-of-Fame NHL careers ahead of them. For a lot of young stars, the World Juniors is an important part of their Lore. Watching someone become something as an adult after you've seen him as a junior is... magical? World Junior hockey is diamond-in-the-rough hockey. There's no polish, but it's the rawness of the million-dollar stone that sells it.

[hockybish]

I’m just gonna put a bunch of ideas and if u don’t like them don’t take them!!

Kirill just seems like the sweetest of the sweet baby girls, when ur having a bad day he gets u flowers, there’s a storm out and ur scared he’ll cuddle u and distract u from smt that happened at practice or smt ur on ur period and ur carving a certain food he’ll be the first in the car to go get it for u I can picture reader speaking another language and I can see them exchanging « classes » where he teaches her Russian and she teaches him wtv language u decide lol I see reader maybe in her late college years and he’d go get her from school or smt and ur makes her day cause he’s so thoughtful like he brings her lunch or smt Omg don’t get me started on dates, he just compliments u the hole night, holds doors open for u opens car doors pulls out ur chair and shows up to ur apartment w flowers and walks u down and walks u back up after to make sure ur ok

This is it for now u want more lmk

I love all of this. But I've chosen a couple bits down below :)

~ In the summer Kirill will got to Market Flowers at the Minneapolis Farmers market and he'll come home with an armful of flowers for you, every single kind of flower. He can't decide which ones you'll like the best so he gets on of each. There are so many you run out of vases to put everything in.

He is always getting them for you, whether you had a bad day, its date or he just feels like it. There are alway flowers in the house, and he will come up with the most random reason why he'll get them for you.

"Kirill this is too much. They're so pretty" Tears start to line your eyes. None of your past boyfriends ever did anything like this, it was so nice.

"Pretty girls deserve pretty flowers." He smiled at you. You smiled back. Standing on your tip toes, you reach up and plant a kiss on his cheek.

~ It was Mats Zuccarello's daughter who said something to him in Norwegian and he had no idea what she just said. Kirill kind of just raised an eyebrow and cocked his head to the side, unsure. She was getting frustrated with uncle Kirill each time she repeated her words.

You were a friend of the Zuccarello's, staying with them for a little visit, and had witnessed the little interaction between the two. You were completely fluent in the language so you knew exactly what the child had said.

"She wants you to play dolls with her." You pipe up. As adorable as a confused Kirill was, you took pity on the hockey player and told him what she wanted.

"You speak?" Kirill giggled, you nod answering the question, and he giggled again. He didn't mean to giggle in a bad way or like he was making fun of you. He thought you were cute, and he tends to giggle a lot, especially when he was excited or nervous.

"Will you teach me sometime?" He asked smiling. He really liked you and wanted to get to know you better. What better way then get you to teach him something new, maybe he could show you something in return.

"Uncle Kirill come on!" The toddler came back into the family room and grabbed his hand, dragging him to the toy room.

"Call me, we'll work something out." You winked at the blonde haired man. He was cute. Secretly you hoped the two of you would do more than talk.

~ I hope you like sushi, because he's always bringing you to Billy Sushi. He wants to show you off. And when ever there's another Russian player in town he's taking you with him. This is where those classes he was giving you pay off.

I know have more on this but I can't think right now. But I love all these so so much friend. Please send more if you want.

[bordysbae]

4 and 6 with bordy pleaseeee, thank you love!!!!

“don’t listen to them”

thomas bordeleau x reader

4. i’m here baby, don’t worry

6. come cuddle me

—

dating a pro hockey player has its pros and cons. no matter what you do nor who you are, dating someone who has a following is gonna lead to you receiving hate no matter what. whenever thomas posts with you, the comments always have something to say.

user1: ew…

user2: thomas u can do SO much better

user3: yeah no thanks, i’d be a better choice lol

of course you try your best to not be effected by the comments, but it hurts you a little bit. despite the comments that can easily be deleted, which thomas does delete, nothing compares to the horrible dm you received this morning. seeing someone comment on not only your looks but also saying things like ‘thomas is probably cheating on you’ was really not something you wanted to wake up to. all day your mood had been slightly off, but you really didn’t want to tell thomas about it. you know if you tell him he’s gonna do something about it, and you don’t want to make his fans dislike you even more.

thomas opens the front door of your guys’ apartment and sees you sitting on the couch watching netflix. “hi babe, how was practice?” you say pausing the tv. “it was alright, how was your day?” he asks, walking over to the couch. he plops down next to you and leans back into the cushions. “it was good, i didn’t really do much” you rest your head on his shoulder as you unpause the tv, the melancholy feeling from earlier still lingering in your body. “what do you wanna do for dinner?” thomas asks. “oh i don’t mind we can do anything. i’ll cook if you want” “wanna just get take out?” “no no i wanna cook for you” “since when have you said no to take out” he chuckles. “oh shut up, let me go make something for dinner” you smile softly before standing up and going to the kitchen. as you’re grabbing ingredients you feel a pair of strong arms snake around your waist.

“what’s wrong darling?” he whispers in your ear, sending shivers down your spine. “nothing” you shrug, causing him to pull back and turn you around to face him. “no i know you y/n, what’s wrong” “it’s nothing thomas really” thomas sighs before taking your hand in his, “y/n tell me.” you sigh, “it’s just that i got a mean dm on instagram today, and it just really got to me. i know you told me not to let hate get to me but-“ tears begin to pool in your eyes, and you start to get choked up. “hey hey hey, it’s okay. i’m here baby, don’t worry.” thomas says softly, as tears begin to fall down your cheeks. thomas wipes them with his both of thumbs and kisses your forehead. “don’t listen to them y/n, please don’t listen to them. i love you so much. i know the hate can be deceiving but i love you more than you even know, and it kills me to see you upset like this.” “i just get s-so worried that maybe you’ll listen to them a-and you’ll realize that they’re right.” “what?! are you crazy?! i’d never listen to them, ever. you’re the best thing to come into my life and i’d do anything for you. please don’t think i’d ever leave you, especially over some stupid jealous hate comment.” he says sternly. “i’m sorry” you sniffle. “don’t be sorry, cmon. let’s go cuddle, we can even order your favorite take out, i know you secretly want it” he smirks, making you chuckle a little. “yeah yeah okay cmon” you say, dragging him back over to the couch.

[nebulaleaf]

G, J, M, R, and U for the ask meme!

god you poor fucking soul. G - Have you ever had an OTP? If so, do you remember your first one? Who was in it? Okay uhh my first one... might've been a mlp one? i don't quite remember. I never really got INTO fandom until Danganronpa, so ig my first otp was Saiouma and ........................ sighs. ive found a better phantom thief pairing at least. J - Name a fandom you didn’t think about until you saw it all over Tumblr Scooby-doo mystery inc ig? or uh. RPF hockey ig. SIGHS. i wish those posts would stop being blazed onto my dash. M - Name a character that you’d like to have for a friend. Akira Kurusu 100%. he'd be so cool augh augh augh. fuck. actually wait i might go forr Haru Okumura because i might not hit it off well with akira 😔i have a better chance with her. R - Which friendship/platonic relationship is your favorite in fandom? OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHH TOUGH. honestly ryuji and akira are so besties i love them no matter the context. but for STRICTLY platonic........ i really really love morgana and akira together. ugh ugh ugh. i think theyre way closer than people give em credit for, i mean christ they live together !!!!!!!!!!!!!! waughle!!!!!!!!!!! U - Three favorite characters from three different fandoms, and why they’re your favorites. ROUND TWO!! Natural Harmonia Gropius - (Pokemon BW) Ahh, N.fucking freak with increased textbox speed. i love him he's such a unique character from such a good pokemon game (though i wish they were allowed to break the formula a bit more; imagine...) his design is simple yet effective i love me some long hair and GREEN hair and his personality ! the sadboy energies! (why are all my faves sad?) the drive for truth or ideals! the fact that he's from my fave pokemon game! obsessed!!! his trainer theme slaps too Espresso Cookie - (Cookie Run Kingdom) cookie boy who can canonically go without sleep for like a week. a perfect representation of espresso as a concept, tbh. take a look at any coffee nerd youtuber and it's like they're making magic potions. every bean must be weighted, every step MUST be followed, no room for error when pulling the perfect espresso shot; much like this character! he is comically driven in his experimentation and you'd think he'd be a rule stickler given how he acts about his labwork, but nay! he's totally willing to steal from authority and flee from cops and its great. he's also surprisingly kind if you're anyone but madeleine cookie LOL. i love his blunt little wizard ass Kaito Momota - (Danganronpa V3 Killing Harmony) oh boy. what can i say about him that you also, don't already obsess over. the passion. the hair. the gusto. he's THE LUMINARY OF THE STARS, BABY. while not my fave on the first playthrough, i've really warmed up to him bcos of. certain people that yuou know also. and he's now cemented as my favourite drv3 character haha. idk what more to say he's just really fun and heartfelt and SMARTER THAN PEOPLE GIVE HIM CREDIT FOR HEYYYYYYYYYYYY !!!!!!!

[junjiie]

UM GOOD MORNING??? (its morning for me im serious i literally just woke up) hope your having a good day im about to give everything about meliora 🤗

SOOOOOO meliora is a 13-member under two fictional companies louvix audio and sonata media, they were the second only successful group under their company after their former boy group RIX disbanded in 2016, so, company said; "WE NEED SOMETHING NEW!", and they recruited the thirteen members over a period of 10 months through global auditions!!! so that's just great

okay off to the members;

kasemchai 'chaiya' shinawatra - 99 liner, thai, probably a man kisser in his free time, and also a professional flirt too!, used to be a child model and he decided "fuck college i'm gonna sing" so he auditioned!, his fc is the actor jeff satur

hong yohan - 00 liner, korean, 1 of 4 introverts in the whole group, the leader of the group, he scares his members without even trying, his fc is that one nct mf (it's haechan)

ko junmin - 00 liner, korean, 2 of 4 introverts in the whole group, a perfectionist for life, he also did taekwondo!, his fc is park jihoon (the actor not from treasure)

jung hajoon - 00 liner, korean, adopted (yeah he actually is), his adopted father is half filipino so he's fluent in tagalog, theater kid (derogatory), his fc is kim sunwoo from the boyz

ahn 'kyrie' kyuhyun - 01 liner, korean, a former actor and fencer (he starred in boys over flowers), the tallest member, also quite literally the perfect man (he's also the token straight of the group), his fc is yoon sanha from astro

yeo 'hwan' jihwan - 01 liner, korean, 3 of 4 introverts in the whole group, he's the one member who can go without talking the whole day, the center of the group despite his shyness, his fc is son dongju from oneus

cho haneul - 01 liner, korean, confirmed man kisser, the most affectionate member of the group, bro can play the guitar (i'm down on my knees), his fc is shin yechan from omega x

matsuda 'kiro' kyoichi - 02 liner, japanese, a former member of a j-pop boy band, his father is so famous in japan i'm not even joking, he has a huge fanbase and is the sunbaenim of everyone in the whole group, his fc is terazono keita from ciipher

kang 'z' yaejoon - 02 liner, korean, the groups comedic genius, the only reason he auditioned was actually because of a bet, he used to play hockey, his fc is jung sungchan from riize

bae 'byeol' yongrae - 02 liner, korean, has been dancing since literally forever, his birthdays on halloween!!, he's a huge fan of kai and he cried when he got to meet him for the first time, his fc is my bae song hyeongjun from cravity

sim 'chrysa' jaehwan - 03 liner, korean, he really likes kyuhyun, seriously he was a huge fan of him before they debuted together, also a comedic genius, his fc is your bae hwang intak from p1harmony

kristian 'jian' li - 04 liner, chinese-american, rich, he's one of the youngest but he's also 6'1, professional coffee hater, and cat lover, his fc is young and rich fall and handsome

aikawa 'taro' kiyoshi - 04 liner, japanese, the maknae, a teddy bear collector, can never be clean like it's impossible for him, his fc is nishimura riki from enhypen

OKAY SO UHHH OTHER THAN THAT, their fandom name is aponia because meliora is a word that means "better" and the word aponia is an "absence of pain" so they FIT TOGETHER!!!

anyway thats the group, there is a lot more bad stuff concerning the personal lives of the members because they're all traumatized in one way or another (so sorry i love my babies i swear) so um whose your bias 🤗???

the way i am the #1 aponia. The original. unless you've told someone else ab them and they've said the same thing so we have to compete (i cant fight so i hope u havent 😓😓 2yrs of martial arts in primary school has done nothing for me bye). I AM IN LOVE WITH THEM?!? Holds them in hands.. puts them in a jar.. shakes them around really hard in the jar.. opens the lid... pours them into my hands.. eats them like orbeez.. dies from food poisoning (u probably cant eat orbeez).....

OK BIASES. hajoon YOHAN and jaehwan YUPP 👍👍👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨 oh but junmin too........ i fucking LOVE park jihoon i rewatch whc1 every other week i swear (nothing broke me like that show did . Im in so much pain). i will collect all their pcs and line then up next to my bed and pat their little heads before i go to sleep

IM IN LOVE W THIS AND THEM!!!!!!!!! UR MIND!!!!!!!! CRAZY!!!!!!!!! ur giving me tell-u-things-ab-my-silly-ocs-too itis... Stop it .

[chanelfunnell]

Q@A Trevor Zegras

A) anon, yes Trevor Zegras is an overgrown baby on the skates, a showman playing his acts and stunts, a playboy but also incredibly playfull and creative on the ice and from technical side.. He is the top scorer of tanking Anaheim aducks and although lacking finesse of his idol Kaner he is almost like him lolcjeck his cheeky a puck between the legs video.

B) anon, yes, McDavid's girlfriend Lauren is very trendy and sexy, the Pens Wags quite dowdy and I like Blackhawks wags and their style and meet ups. I just need to sort out my cookies on other phone ...

C) anon, Tazer is downhill for more reasons one of that is without doubt the pregnancy of his ex gf Lindsey Vechione who is expecting her 2nd child (well, she's 36 soon so no shock, not anybody is Kathy Leather and a simple rule of an ice hockey is You don't score and you don't defend ..You get a goal). Also he went on memory lane and whining prior of the season how all is different and he can't imagine to play for other NHL franchise..search it. Obviously we have no insight into his health struggles as well but I bet that 50 per cent is it u to his head . He has no puffy face in 2020,2021 and first half of 2022 before he has met a hippie yuppe Megan Butler from the group of Marcus Aubrey. I mean something else to be a fan of it and other thing is to have their stuff home with a fanatic admirer as a gf. Desperados do desperate things so his blindness with crazy woman Ashley who is behind Crosby Interesting to unfollow her on Insta. Marketa has cut him off for that and reading her gibberish about Crosby and all name calling and slut shaming of wags you know why. Their friendship is over. She moves and adjust even quicker than Lindsey as there was anything intimate between them. Kaner is gone in NYC and he is left alone and Tazer loves his routine and all exactly the same things and set ups. Last Mustang and the Blackhawks back office with CEO and their carousel roster does not make it easier for him. He's silly but obviously faithful hating changes

D) anon, I will post anything nice about clothes, cute nhl puppies and ice fun but I need to access and upload photos from my other cell phone. I don't cover pyckbunny topic and I don't bother what girl dates certain player and I don't watch it.

E) yes, Chicago Blackhawks wants Connor Bedard for sale of jerseys and as a top pick on rebuild. I

[alpaine]

answering all those ao3 wrapped writer's edition questions heh

ao3 wrapped [writers edition]

How many words have you written this year? 46,000! Feels like a lot heh

How many works did you publish this year? omg 13 apparently? i know i usually write shorter fics but i didn't realize it was that many

What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)? of princes and potions! the 8k pierresteban au fic. i spent a lot of time on it and had fun with it

What work of yours has the most hits? that one mattdrai fic (hockey rpf) i wrote wayyyy back when

What work of yours got more feedback than you expected? mustache you a question (lol. also hockey rpf). really doesn't have a lot of hits and it was written for a miniscule pairing so even getting 4 comments felt like such a treat

Favorite title you used. something in the air! it's from fernando by abba and it's sooo funny to me for a fernando/lance fic idk. if i write more from them i'll be sure to use another line from the song

If you use song lyrics, which artist’s songs did you pull from the most? abba!

Pairing you wrote the most for this year? currently tied at 3 fics for both pierresteban and robo/otter (hockey rpf). i think robo/otter win though bc of the sheer amount of unpublished fics i have for them.

Favorite pairing you wrote for this year? stop. this is like asking me to choose between children !!

What work was the quickest to write? something in the air or mustache you a question. they're shorter, sure, but they also both came together in a single sitting.

What work took you the longest to write? of princes and potions! took me a longgg time.

How many WIP’s do you have in your docs for next year? oh girl i could not tell u. i don't really ever publish wips that i don't have open in my tabs so the unfinished wips i have currently will never see the light of day

What’s your longest work of the year? of princes and potions

What’s your shortest work of the year? in my way. it's a cobra kai fic :)

What WIP are you taking into next year with you? err see prev answer for 12

What’s your most common “Additional Tags” tag? pining/mutual pining

Your favorite character to write this year? lance stroll, my beloved

The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year? oh 100% this is both of the alpine boys. maybe esteban more so than pierre.

What’s one pairing you want to explore next year? idk! there's so many options. i'll see what speaks to me.. i want to write something with albon and something with zhou eventually

Which work of yours have you reread the most? i do not reread my works ahaha

How many kudos in total did you get this year? 9,700 :)

Which work has the most comments? for f1, say what you want (pierresteban with lance stroll pov)

Did you do any collaborative works this year? nope!

Did you write any gifts this year? noo..

Did you receive any gifts this year? girl ur making me realize what an isolated writer i am. no!

What’s your most common category? idk what this means. fandom? pairing? hockey rpf and m/m

What do you listen to while writing? usually nothing lol it's distracting. but i've been rewatching old f1 races and those are good bg noise for writing f1 fic!

Favorite work you wrote this year? arghhh again. like asking me to choose between babies. recency bias 100% but i love you know the stars

Favorite line/passage you wrote this year? this feels too full of myself to answer ahaha idk! i had fun writing pierre and esteban's drift in the latest fic. otmar and esteban's phone convo was fun as well

Biggest surprise while writing this year? that i could write!! i had such burnout from my prev fandom and just life in general and it's so good to be writing again, even if idk if i'll ever be posting longfic again

[kingandfireheart]

Okay I need to rant I need to get this off my chest

WHAT EVEN WAS THE LEGACY COME ONNNN

I was so fucking excited and now I'm just 🥴

Where tf do I even start ugh

1) Logan and Grace were supposed to get married right? We were supposed to get a wedding right? But did we? Uh NO. If there's was supposed to a wedding, we should have gotten a wedding man!! I was so excited for a wedding scene because we rarely get wedding scenes in books, and we were supposed to get Logan and Grace's and we were robbed!! AT THE END!? What even was that 🥴

2) Okay so Hannah and Garrett. THEY DIDN'T EVEN FEEL LIKE HANNAH AND GARRETT IN THIS ONE🥺 I was so excited for them because come on they're so beautiful together and The Deal was so beautiful and this one🥺 why the miscommunication🥺 and most of the time Garrett was dealing with his father, which is ok he has trauma, but this was H&G's story and it didn't feel like it. And Hannah not telling G about her pregnancy and waiting for that long uh huh😬 but that last scene when G gets a jersey for the baby and they find out that they're having twins, TWINS😍, his only reaction was that he only got one jersey😂❤️

3) Dean and Allie were actually good in this. I liked the proposal and Dean asking of her father's blessing and the entire thing was so cute and beautiful and they felt like the couple that I had read.

4) I'm yet to read Tucker and Sabrina's story but I'm like so disappointed after the first two that I couldn't go ahead and read it. 🥺

I few things I actually loved,

The boys dynamic ❤️

- the bachelor party was awesome

- Dean practicing his proposal at G and Logan just 😂❤️

- G and Logan's scene in H&G's story where they're at the function and G's mad about Logan getting married without him and saying that he's gonna give Dean the best man position but Logan says that he won't and G sighs and says that he's not and Hannah teases them to get a room CHEF'S KISS 😍❤️❤️

- Tucker's psycho speech when they're in the limo and talking about Dean proposing at the wedding I LOVED IT SO MUCH LIKE 😍❤️😂 that entire speech was so awesome man I love these boys so much

- Logan running to G's room after a fan crashes his room and after he forces G to get adjoining rooms THE BEST😍

- The entire thing with Aleksander was kinda funny but eh

I love Jamie so much ❤️🥰

What was I looking forward to- some Hannah and Allie moments, I mean they're bffs right but we got nothing

I was kinda looking forward to some group time with all of them together but it didn't happen. This was supposed to be a closing thing but it didn't feel like it you know? Maybe I was expecting something else, and I get it that not everyone can be satisfied, but still, it didn't feel like a ending 😬

Anyhoo I got to see my baby boys and I loved all four of them so much in this just best thing out of this book was the boys' moments together ❤️❤️

Okay The legacy rant anon,

I finally read it! I split up my comments by the sections, but yeah, I don’t regret my decision to wait for the book, but it was nice!

Logan and Grace:

I was obviously hoping to see the wedding, but I thought this chapter was really sweet. Logan and Grace felt like such a sweet couple once they got through their issue in the Mistake and I’m honestly sad we didn’t see more of them in Briar U series. I know this chapter was recycled but I had never read it before. It so nice to see how they’ve both grown up and still have so much of their charm.

I love the doll jokes. I love that Logan still brings up Winston. I love that they are with each other through thick and thin. I love that the girlfriends have a group chat. I love that Dean and Tucker are still a part of their lives even though they don’t play hockey. I have always loved John Logan the most of these four and the fact that he calls Grace “Gorgeous” (100 times better than baby doll imho).

Dean and Allie:

I saw a spoiler for this one and avoided reading it for a long time because I knew it would break my little heart to see these two fight. But honestly? I’m with you. Dean and Allie are all about meeting each other where they’re at and it warmed my heart.

I also loved mentions of my absolute faves: Conor Edwards and Jake Connelly (and the Chad and Doctor Mom cameo!!!) Allie finding out about Grace and Hannah was gold. Grace sending Alexander was gold. Garrett Graham and John Tucker own my heart, only to be bested by Jamie Tucker!! Fitzy is such a simp. Hollis is amazing and I’m sad about the lack of Rupi content. What really stole the show for me though, was the guys showing up for the Hockey game. I love a good team spirit moment, but I love a “we love you man” moment even more!!

Tucker and Sabrina:

Honestly? This one was a bit predictable to me. I was hoping Sabrina and Tucker would have worked out their communication problems after the Goal, but it makes sense that it all bubbled up at the worst possible time.

Once again, love the group chats and Alexander. Love the meddling gay couple. Everything else was kind of meh though. Maybe I’m just at a weird stage in life, but the career fulfillment plotline was just not compelling to me.

Garrett and Hannah:

JAKE CONNELLY MY LOVE 😍 I mean Jake wasn’t THE highlight of the book, but still a major highlight honestly, I’d throw away all of these novellas for a Briar U Follow Up Novel. Seriously my love for Jake and Conor knows no end

I thought this one was good! I’m glad Garrett finally came to terms with his dad and his abuse. I’m glad Hannah may finally have a way to save her parents. I’m glad they’re both doing well career wise and Hannah and Allie get to be engaged at the same time. But Wellsy and G were always endgame and this whole “WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME” plot was kind of repetitive. Like their problems in the Deal came from Hannah not telling Garrett about his fathers threats. Why do that plot line twice?

Overall

I’m not sure why Elle wrote the book outside of fan-service. It was heavily implied the couples are endgame. They still had issues to overcome, and the epilogues with the time jumps and the Briar U appearances (especially in Hunter’s novel) showed the characters made it. I would have loved to see more interactions with the Briar U couples, but I get that that wasn’t really the point of the book.

If I’m honest, I think I loved the friendship bonding moments the most (you’ve mentioned most of them). I have this headcanon of all 9 couples (off campus + briar u + Rupi and Hollis) all getting together and chatting and having a fun time. I loved the Alexander stuff and the group chats, I loved the ongoing jokes. I didn’t really like seeing 4 couples that got their HEA get into fights and rehash issues from their books.

If Elle does write more in this series, I want (1) more Hollis and Rupi (2) Hunter, Demi, Taylor, and Conor’s senior year (But like just the happy fluffy parts- maybe a fun scene with all 4 of them hanging out, but no more couple fighting and problems) (3) more Summer and Brenna friendship

[dvesbackup1]

pluto projector ︎ ✧ joel farabee

warnings: tiny bit nsfw in the beginning. just a tiny bit though, & just a few swears here and there

pairing: joel farabee x female reader

requested: yes/no

word count: 1.5k

a/n : this is my first time publishing something on here, and it’s not revised so i’m sorry for errors! i hope u enjoy, inbox/requests are open :)

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

joel had never been good at noticing the depth of things. he didn’t pay any mind to when y/n did his dishes for him after a long road trip, or the time she went out of her way to get him the watch he mentioned a few times. she wasn’t exactly sure about how she felt about joel, but risking a friendship wasn’t something y/n wanted to do. his company was all too precious to her, and keeping her longing thoughts to herself seemed at the best interest. at least for the moment.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

y/n and joel were curled up on his couch as some movie he picked was playing on the tv. it was just background noise at this point. her head laid in his chest as he ran his fingers softly along her scalp. she reminded herself daily that she was just hurting herself. allowing someone who didn’t reciprocate feelings, to treat her with upmost respect. he doesn’t do that with all of his friends, y/n, her best friend, alice’s, voice replayed in her head. she shook off the thought and fixated her eyes on the tv. the two actors on the screen were getting heated to say the least. the main character wrapped his hand around the woman’s neck and passionately kissed her, which only made y/n imagine it be her and joel. this time she couldn’t shake the thought away, she clenched her thighs together for some friction. she felt joel move awkwardly, sensing he felt the tension as well. his arm that was resting on her forearm, moved gracefully down to her exposed hip. his warm touch sent chills up y/n’s spine as she froze. she slowly moved herself up against him, filling up the space. joel groaned in response, and an apology slipped out of y/n’s mouth.

“don’t worry about it.” joel mumbled with his jaw clenched and eyes glued to the screen. butterflies were evident in y/n’s stomach, making her wonder if he would hear their wings flapping. the sex scene continued on the screen, but no one even hesitated to switch the channel. y/n was pretty much at her breaking point when she spoke up, “i’m getting water.” she removed herself from his grasp and walked into his kitchen. a deep breath entered her lungs as she reached for a glass cup on a high shelf.

“can you reach it?” joel teased, coming up from behind her and grabbing it himself. y/n turned and faced his broad chest and refused to look up into his eyes. taking in the height difference, a blush made its way across her cheeks as she mumbled a thank you.

“you need to speak up.” joel’s tone was different and more seductive than his prior remark.

y/n looked up at him with her big eyes and struggled out “thank you, beezer.” this made joel smirk. she hated when he did this, it made her weak. she would practically fall on her knees if he just asked her to. he was definitely using it to his advantage. the universe must’ve heard her prayers as her phone began ringing. allowing her to save herself from making a big mistake.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

today the team had an event that allowed families to skate on the flyers home ice. since joel invited y/n, he wasn’t taking no for an answer. she sat on the cold bench as joel laced up her hockey skates. “i could get used to this”. y/n happily stated, smiling down at joel.

“what’s that?”

“you know, you tying my skates. teaching me how to skate.” she stated knowingly. joel’s eyes met hers as he finished up her left skate.

“oh yeah?” he challenged.

“stop it.” she blurted, feeling butterflies fluttering in her abdomen again. joel looked at her confused, letting her know to explain. “forget it, are you ready?”

joel helped y/n walk over to the ice carefully, holding onto her wrists. “watch my feet, okay?” a young kid, probably no older than 8, skated by the two of them.

“he makes it look easy.” y/n pointed out, struggling to keep her balance.

“patience, baby. you’re not going anywhere with that attitude.” joel smirked. this wasn’t the first time he had called her this, but being in his home rink, with his teammates nearby, and his firm grasp on her arms, this really sent her in a spiral.

“i wish you wouldn’t do that.” she sighed, regretting it as soon as it left her mouth.

“what do you mean?”

“i wish you wouldn’t flirt with me if you didn’t actually mean it, s’all.” y/n refused to look into his eyes as she spoke, too embarrassed to see his reaction. her eyes glued to her feet, pretending to follow whatever he was doing.

“look at me, y/n,” joel removed his arm from her left wrist and moved it up to her chin, gently tilting it up, forcing her to look up at him. “what makes you think i don’t mean it? i thought i’ve been pretty obvious. and i’ve been thinking about that stunt you pulled at my apartment all week.”

y/n could feel her face burn up. but before she could protest, joel’s teammates travis and kevin slashed them with ice.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

“he almost kissed u?!” alice gasped, almost jumping out of her seat on the couch.

“i know, and i completely froze.”

“look,” alice sighed grabbing y/n’s hands in her own, “you guys haven’t been just friends for a long time now.” y/n gave her a knowing look. “all i’m saying is, i don’t know what you’re afraid of.”

she stopped for a moment to let alice’s words settle in her head. what was she actually afraid of? joel had always looked at her lovingly, like nothing else in the room mattered more than solely her existence. all noise outside their conversation was a blur, he simply couldn’t be bothered. the memories grew throughout her head like vines, making her finally come to the realization. all along these feelings had been more than platonic, and she couldn’t let anymore time pass by.

“i’m in love with joel.” she softly admitted in disbelief.

“wait what?”

“i’m in love with joel”. y/n repeated, louder than she had said it before. the words sweet in her mouth like honey, her lips broke out into a smile.

alice reciprocated the smile, “well, go get him!”

“he has a game right now-“

“and? cmon get your coat. we’re going.”

y/n sat anxiously in her seat as her orange and black giroux jersey lousily hugged her body. her shoes tapping on the concrete floor and knees bouncing with anticipation. the flyers were up 4 to 2 against pittsburgh with one period still left to go. joel skated up the ice wide open, waiting for a pass. laughton advanced the puck towards joel, allowing him to shoot and score.

“holy shit, that was a nice pass.” alice remarked. y/n hummed in agreement, not taking her eyes off of joel. the black and orange complimented him so well, and a contagious smile was plastered on his face. she imagined how he felt, standing in the middle of his home stadium, living out his childhood dream. y/n was quickly cut from her thoughts as farabee himself looked up to where she was sitting, a smirk laid out across his lips that sent chills down her spine. she gripped her water bottle and downed a few gulps before looking back up to see him already on the bench.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

joel walked down the tunnel, wet hair that stuck to his forehead from the shower he took a few minutes before. his eyes scanned the room carefully, and once he saw y/n they lit up. joel wrapped her up in a big hug, lifting her off her feet. “good game.” she managed to squeeze out.

“you have no idea how glad i am that you’re here”. joel’s words caused the same old butterflies from just days before swarmed in her stomach, growing all the way up to form a lump in her throat. “you know,” he started again, “you really would look a lot better in a farabee jersey. just sayin’ “

y/n pretended to be offended, trying to pry herself from joel’s grasp, which only got tighter. “let me go!” she laughed.

“not until you let me take you out.”

y/n’s eyes widened, “what did you say?”

“you heard me, cmon you know we’re not just friends. i can’t keep dancing around it.” joel took a deep breath and continued, “it’s driving me crazy, please don’t make me look like an idiot.”

“you could take me anywhere, i’m crazy about you.” she admitted her eyes falling down to his lips. joel softly placed his hands on her cheeks, angling her head up. without wasting any time her lips met his, and the butterflies in her stomach only intensified. the chirps from kevin and travis could be heard in the background, but they were only ignored. at this moment it was only joel and y/n, and from that point forward they planned on keeping it that way.

[birthisacurse-and]

i dont hv acsess to the olympics rn and u being my only source on info on them is so funny like what is even happening why is there drama

lmaooo sadly i don't have a pirated site you can watch from, if so, i'd share it (i spent an entire day looking bc i really didn't wanna have to ask my parents for their xfinity acct lol)

of course, the drama is a doping scandal, as in typical olympics fashion.

other, less serious drama is the usual figure skating stan in-fighting. i remember in 2018, when i was a baby figure skating and hockey fan and new nothing ab the sport, i was so surprised by how much hatred random ppl have for specific skaters. atm, the less serious, fandom-y drama surrounds mostly yuzuru hanyu (arguably the best male figure skater in the world right now) and nathan chen (arguably the 2nd best male figure skater in the world right now). tumblr fs fans generally favor yuzu, but bc of various injuries and other circumstances, he's had some trouble competing lately. this olympics, he 100% would've medaled, likely gold, if it weren't for injuries + him attempting the quad axel (a jump i think has never been done in competition before) multiple times, despite it being very difficult. ppl don't like nathan chen for several reasons- over the years, they were disappointed w his performance last olympics (don't have a good memory, but pretty sure he fell/underrotated his jumps quite a lot) and bc he is a very good technical skater (does very very hard jumps that land him more technical points) but is less artistic/graceful than their faves, so they get angry when he outscores them. lately tho, he said some sussy stuff in an interview i think over the summer where he basically said it's hard to be a male figure skater bc people deride men who skate, but people took his comments to mean that he was implying being a straight guy in figure skating when so many of the skaters are queer men is difficult (inaccurate, look up the interview if you're interested). so yeah, of course tumblr had/is having a field day with that, which... wooooooo, yeah, we love people misconstruing generally harmless comments and then using that to completely shit on a guy and call everything he does too straight/hetero and lacking in creativity/artistry as a result (/s).. there's other stan drama, but it's more personal and individual, just ppl disliking certain songs (bolero is very overplayed and Not Good), disliking the judges as a whole (the ISU wayyyy overscores technicality over artistry, and it pisses many of us off), shitting on certain outfit choices, etc.

if you wanna read ab the doping scandal, I suggest the thread on r/figureskating, or this post that basically explains the facts of the situation. for added context, people on tumblr generally detest this girl's coach, eteri, because she is notorious for overworking and abusing her very young proteges, and then dropping them once they get too old to do the insane programs she puts together.

[ofashandofrose]

Let’s discuss baby mamma Sid some more. 🤔

oHHHH listen…

I’m very happy with the fact that excellent writers are out here leaving fics and tag spams and head canons about baby momma Sid. I’m really not that good a writer and tbh I prefer reading to writing. but I can tell you the stuff that specifically goes on in my head.

in my own personal verse, Sid has been ready to make babies for longer than anyone’s really comfortable with. fortunately he went from his parents almost direct to Mario so there was always someone to keep his instincts in check. there were a few opportunities for the occasional alpha who crossed his path in billet homes (and of course Shattuck where Baby JMJF nearly happened).

by the time Sid ended up in Mario’s house his hormones were out of control and he was getting under Nathalie’s feet with how much he mothered the Lemieux kids. one day he marched into Mario’s office and said “what are our chances of making the post season this year?” and Mario nearly had a heart attack when Sid decided that he wanted to be pregnant with Mario’s baby by February. March at the latest. give him plenty of time during the off season to be heavily pregnant but just enough time to get back on his feet for training camp. Mario can build a creche and nanny onto the practice rink and CONSOL so that Sid can alternate nap times and feedings without leaving the premises.

obviously what Sidney wants Mario gives him. when they built PPG it was much better suited to the brood that Sid ends up with. because once Sid has proven to the Pens that he’s perfectly made to birth babies and can multitask just fine he decides there’s no better way to “sow seeds” and bond the team like player’s putting a baby in Sid.

obviously it’s not just any of them, only the chosen few that Mario approves. Geno was a given because they lured him over partly with a promise of one day soon having a son or daughter to put in the Cup with Sid by his side. there may even have been a brokered peace with Philly by means of a mysteriously red-headed tot. all that passionate hate toward Sid was pretty easy to turn into possessive protectiveness once he was allowed to sire an heir with Sid…

it’s a gradual revolution in hockey, not only omega Sid becoming one of the best to ever play the game but to do it while expressing milk at meetings. propping a baby on each ample hip during last minute pressers. showing up to media day stroking a huge stomach while speculation about the father swirls around. the guys in the locker room laughing with Sid when he notices he’s leaked all over his dress shirt.

the group chat called The Studs who service Sid during the horniest periods of his pregnancy and have to take it in shifts. there’s a rumor that Sid accidentally upstaged a Pens player’s wedding by going into early labor and gave birth in the banquet hall. one of the guests was a doctor who rushed everyone out after the cake was cut.

oh and the sports drama of when Sid gets knocked up with twins and has to miss the start of the season while he recovers and copes with two newborns. pictures of Sid with his stomach looking absolutely enormous, face and body extra plump with fat and that slightly strained look in his eyes over articles speculating if this will be the year Sid finally gives up hockey and goes full time mom. isn’t five kids too much for a pro hockey player to be expected to raise? will no one talk about the havoc it wreaks on the sport’s alpha majority to have a player not only in heat but breastfeeding between shifts on the bench, all that sweetness wafting up the opposing team’s noses? what about the way all Crosby has to do is spread his legs and let nature take it’s course for a fellow player to become completely unable to brutalize him on the ice anymore? everyone knows it only takes one shot to get Crosby knocked up etc etc

my theory about how the kids stay relatively hidden is that they all live at Mario’s, Sid included. the house Sid builds is to keep up a pretense for the media and fans because not all of them find it comfortable that Sid was pregnant within a year of being under Mario’s roof. the other house is there for team hangouts and to house the occasional newbie while he gets settled in Pitt. but once Sid’s brood reached three was right when the Lemieux kids started moving out and they’re very happy and kept pretty much out of the spotlight once they’re weaned. the public is kept happy just getting to see the new arrivals as chubby infants in huge ear defenders and little Penguins onesies.

that’s a little chunk of it and thank you for sending asks so I can get a little of this out sometimes <3

(I really do not know a lot about hockey please excuse any discrepancies !!)

[spine-buster]

The President Wears Prada (William Nylander | Chapter 19

A/N:  IT’S VALENTINE’S DAY BITCHES!!!!!

February 14th, 2020

Aberdeen Bloom was packing her tote bag.  

Thankfully, the team had Valentine’s Day off.  Over the past few weeks she’d heard the guys talking about their plans with their wives or girlfriends.  John and Aryne were getting John’s parents to watch Jace while they went for dinner in Yorkville.  Morgan was bringing Bee to Alo for dinner, in his crutches and all – he wasn’t letting his injury stop him.  Jason was going to buy his girls each a bouquet of flowers and have a special night in with them and Jennifer.  It all sounded very sweet, and she was happy that, after missing New Year’s with their families, they were at least able to have Valentine’s Day together.  

Evan was coming over tonight and Kasha was cooking him a romantic dinner, so Aberdeen had decided she was going to camp out at her local Starbucks with her laptop and notebooks and work on her writing.  It was when she was almost finished packing her tote bag did a text come through on her phone. 

can u be ready in 15 mins?

Between William and Brendan, she’d just about had it with hockey players telling her to get ready in an absurdly short amount of time.

Why?

did u really think we wouldn’t celebrate valentines minskatt?

She almost dropped her phone on the floor.  She had no clue what he was thinking.  Clearly he wasn’t.

I don’t know what the custom in Sweden is, but usually you tell a girl if you’re going out on Valentine’s Day so she can look pretty

what’s the fun in that when i can surprise u with something plus u always look pretty its impossible for u not to

What if I already made plans?

Less than ten seconds later, her phone began ringing.  She snorted before she picked up.  “Hi.”

“You don’t really have plans, do you?” he asked, worry in his voice.

She looked at her notebook sitting on her bed, the one she was supposed to have packed into her tote bag before leaving for Starbucks.  Where she should be drinking coffee and writing.  Exactly like the stereotype.  “Evan’s coming over.  I was supposed to go to Starbucks and write,” she informed him.

William knew how seriously Aberdeen took her writing ever since she’d read a lot of it to him during their days alone during the All-Star Break, so he was genuinely worried.  “Do you think you can spare a few hours for a Valentine’s Day date?  I’m like two minutes from your place,” he said.  “But, uh, no pressure.  I mean if you want to write, you can go write.”

Aberdeen smiled, though she couldn’t see him.  His anxiety was a bit cute, she had to admit.  This was the first time in her life, she thought, that she made a boy nervous.  The last time she’d tried to use writing as an excuse not to go out, Zane got annoyed and pouty and forced her out to his friend’s birthday party where she had the worst time.  “I’ll meet you downstairs,” she said quickly before hanging up.

By the time the elevator took her down to the lobby, she saw William’s Volvo already waiting for her in front of the lobby doors.  She slipped into the passenger’s seat quickly, closing the door and immediately noticing how already hot and cozy it was in the car.  She looked over to William.  “Hi,” she smiled shyly.

“Hi minskatt,” he smiled too, a soft, confident smile on his face.  “You look beautiful.”

“Stop trying to butter me up.”

He leaned over the centre console and placed a kiss on her lips.  It was supposed to be chaste – supposed to be – but he should have known better, because once his lips were on hers it was endgame for him, and he kept kissing her and deepening the kiss for as long as she’d let him.  When she pulled away, she was smiling.  “Where are we going?” she asked.

“It’s a surprise.”

“Willy.”

He reached over and grabbed her hand, pulling it over to his lap.  “You’ll see, minskatt.”

Aberdeen digressed.  He put his car into drive and turned the corner to rejoin Adelaide Street.  He grabbed his phone carefully from the cupholder and handed it to her.  “Want to play some music?” he asked.  

Aberdeen arched her brow.  She took the phone from his hands and began scrolling through his Spotify.  During the All-Star Break, she’d added more songs to his “Minskatt” playlist, and they’d listened it as they sat around the apartment, or cooked, or did whatever it was they did for those three days – which was basically just eat and have sex.  She noticed a couple of songs had been added by him since then, too: ‘Ageless Beauty’ by Stars, ‘Cold Feet’ by Loud Luxury, ‘Honest’ by The Band CAMINO.  They all suited her and her taste in music so well.

But she had ulterior motives.

William waited patiently for a song to begin as he drove through the streets.  Every time he glanced over at Aberdeen, he saw her smirk getting bigger and bigger.  “What are you up to over there?” he asked.  “Are you destroying the playlist again?”

Aberdeen giggled and tapped the screen dramatically.  She waited.

When the opening notes of ‘Passionfruit’ began to play, William’s jaw dropped dramatically as Aberdeen burst into a fit of laughter at his reaction.  “What the hell is this?!” he demanded playfully.  “You roast me about my choice and now you play it?!”

“I never said it was a bad song,” she said through giggles.

“You are something else,” he said, pausing dramatically between the two words as he reached over and tried to pinch her on her thigh playfully.  She yelped but continued to laugh, grabbing his hand and holding it hers, like she was holding a baby bird.  “No extra meatball for you.”

Her eyes lit up at the mention of a meatball.  “Sugo meatballs?”

“No,” he shook his head, bringing his car to a stop at the red light.  He looked over at her.  “San Remo Bakery meatballs.”

She gasped dramatically.  “Willy, we’re going to San Remo?”

“Mhm,” he nodded his head.  The famous bakery in Etobicoke clearly had her heart, and he knew it would.  It was the first thing he thought of when he was planning tonight.  “You’re gonna get us whatever’s good and we’re gonna eat.”

Aberdeen wiggled excitedly in her seat.  She controlled the playlist and songs as William made his way to Etobicoke the long way – aka, not taking the highway.  He was perfectly content with taking King Street and The Queensway the entire way there while maintaining easy, fun, and interesting conversation with Aberdeen, who was suddenly full of stories of other Etobicoke establishments she’d haunt during her high school days.  She told stories of she and her friends packing themselves into a car to drive to San Remo Bakery in grade 12, making it back just in time for their afternoon class but smelling like freshly baked bread in the process.  She told stories of running through the streets of The Kingsway neighbourhood throughout university when she would go on jogs to clear her head.  She told stories of hiking along the Humber Marshes with her dad and traditional afternoon tea at the Old Mill with her mom and taking the subway back home to Royal York station after nights out with her friends in university.  She’d memorized the train schedule and knew that the last train going westbound left at 1:52am.  For all that she went out, she’d only ended up taking a taxi back home three times.

After every story, William would kiss her hand.  

When they were on Royal York Road, Aberdeen became silent as she looked at all the storefronts on the way to the bakery.  The sun was just starting to set, and even though it was the dead of winter in Canada, the night was clear and crisp, the sky starting to light up a mixed shade of orange and pink.  She looked over at William, his eyes illuminated by the setting sun.  For all her thinking half the time that he was so perfect she didn’t think he was real, she was reminded of his status by the beanie he was wearing on top of his head, the Maple Leafs logo glaring back at her.  

He pulled the car over to the curb right in front of the bakery.  Aberdeen could see inside, and it was pretty busy – like it usually was.  She looked at him again.  “Do you get recognized a lot when you’re out and about in the city?” she asked.

William shrugged.  “Enough.”

She looked between him and the busy bakery again, biting her lip.  “Then how about I go in and bring the food back,” she said sheepishly.  “That way it’s not…I mean we’re not seen toget—”

“I understand, Aberdeen.  It’s okay,” he said, kissing her hand.  

“I’m sorry we can’t, like, eat it inside or whatever,” she said sheepishly, knowing that it was because of her anxieties about being caught that they couldn’t be seen in public together.  Sometimes she wondered if he had the same, although she doubted it.  He was an extremely private person and didn’t let the media know about one iota of his life or who he really was as a person, but he was so carefree with her that she wondered if he let his guard down because his love for her blinded him or something.  

“Hey…” he said, leaning over the centre console again so he could give her a soft kiss.  “It’s fine.  I’m just happy to be spending the night with you.  Now go.”

Aberdeen came back with a feast.  A giant slice of lasagna (for him), gnocchi in a rosé sauce (for her, her absolute favourite), and two sfoglio cannolis.  When she got back in the car, bag filled to the brim, William was smiling.  The smell of all the food instantly filled the car and he almost melted right then and there.  “God, that smells fucking incredible,” he said.  “Alright, next stop.”

“What’s the next stop?”

“You’ll see.”

Aberdeen rolled her eyes again.  She didn’t have to wait long, though, because within minutes – seriously, the food was still steaming – they’d arrived at Prince of Wales Park, a small park on the edge of the lake with an amazing and underrated lookout towards the Toronto skyline.  The park was empty, with it being the middle of winter, and so was the small parking lot.  William parked right at the end, facing the skyline as the sun set over the city.  

Aberdeen and William looked at each other at the same time once he put his car in park, turning off the engine but leaving the heating on.  “You were planning to eat in the car anyway, weren’t you?” she asked.  

“Maybe,” he smiled mischievously.  

She took out the food.  William audibly moaned as he took his first bite of lasagna.  Aberdeen lay her back against the door as she forked some gnocchi into her mouth, sighing at the taste.  Between mouthfuls of gnocchi and lasagna and feeding each other little bits to taste, William began to speak, unprompted, just like she had on the way to the bakery.  He spoke about growing up with his big family in Sweden and the United States, going back and forth every year.  He spoke about skating on rollerblades in his backyard and hitting the corner of a barbecue while his dad chased him and needing three stitches.  He spoke about his mom cooking traditional Swedish dishes and his dad being the master of pickled herring.  He spoke about hockey and being drafted and moving to Toronto at eighteen.  He spoke about having to leave his friends in Sweden but being able to see them every summer.  He spoke about how much she would love Sweden, how he wanted to bring her there, how he wanted to show her their family place in Stockholm but also their secluded country house. 

After every subject change, she’d lean in and kiss him, and he’d taste like lasagna and she’d taste like gnocchi and it was all just perfect.  

When they finished the food, and had washed everything down with some water and put the empty containers back in the bag that Aberdeen tied up and placed at her feet, she looked at William once more.  Although everything was sweet, and perfect, and lovely, and everything she would have wanted out of a Valentine’s Day date, the fact of the matter was they’d just had dinner in a car.  Alone.  Because they couldn’t spend it in a restaurant together.  Because they were together, but they couldn’t be together – out in the open, at least.

“Hey Willy?” her voice was sheepish, her mouth speaking before her brain could tell her not to.

“Minskatt?”

“You uh, you know how we’re keeping all this a secret?  Like nobody on the team knows we slept together last June, and nobody in the world knows we’re sleeping together now, and the guys on the team think it’s all like…I don’t know, like you having a harmless crush on me or whatever?” she rambled.

“Yes…” William was unsure of where she was going with this.  

“So, um…what are we, then?”

He stayed quiet for a moment.  “What do you want to be?” he asked.  

“Nuh-uh.  I’m not making the executive decision here,” she shook her head.  “Either we make a decision together or that’s it.  We need to define what this is because right now we’re in this weird friends-with-benefits stage even though we’ve already said I love you—”

“I want you to be my girlfriend,” he blurted out, interrupting her.  “I thought…I mean, I’ve wanted you to be my girlfriend since the elevator.  I thought you knew that.”

She had a hunch, but she needed it confirmed by him out loud so she knew her mind wasn’t playing games with her.  “So…so we’re going to do this, then?” she asked timidly.

“Do you want to do this?” he asked, making sure.  “Because you already know my answer.  I think you’ve known it this whole time, you just hesitate to accept it because your judgement is clouded by the fact that we have to sneak around to love one another and be together.”

For Aberdeen, the answer was easy.  It was wrong, and it was immoral, and it was a blatant disregard of the rules she needed to follow professionally and the rules she should be following societally, but it was easy.  “Yes.  I want to do this.  You’re my boyfriend.”

“Then you’re my girlfriend,” William smiled.

“We have a bit of a problem though.”

“Besides the fact that this is against every company policy known to mankind and completely inappropriate?” he asked.  It made Aberdeen giggle.  “What’s the other problem?”

“Valentine’s Day can’t be our anniversary.  It’s too corny.”

William giggled.  He grabbed her hand and kissed it before he held it in his lap, his thumb gliding over her backhand tenderly.  “When’s our anniversary then, minskatt?”

Aberdeen thought for a few moments before she came to a conclusion.  “January 9th.”

William knew the exact date she was talking about and knew why she would choose that date to be their anniversary.  “Alright then.  January 9th it is.”

Aberdeen smiled, leaning back into the door, satisfied.  They had an anniversary.  They were official.  They were on the same page, regardless of whether or not they liked that page – that page being not being able to share their relationship with anyone or anything.    It wasn’t the best page.  But they both knew there were better pages ahead.  

A secret only they knew.

“What’re you thinking about?” William asked softly.  

“You,” she replied.  He smiled.  “C’mere,” she beckoned.  

“Come where?”

She abruptly opened the door, slipping out of the passenger seat and instead moving to the backseat.  William watched as she did so, slipping out himself when he realized what she was doing.  Once they found each other in the backseat, Aberdeen climbed on top of him and straddled his lap.  “You’re being very bold, minskatt,” William smiled.  

“Count your blessings,” she winked before leaning in and crashing her lips against his.  He reciprocated readily, however ‘shocked’ he was by her bold actions.  He was just as hungry for her as she was for him, and his actions showed that: his hands wandering along her thighs, grabbing at her waist; his tongue down her throat, biting her bottom lip.  They kissed so much their lips were red and swollen; kissed so much they were fogging up the windows.

Layers.  There were too many layers of clothing.  It was winter, so they both knew there would be, but it made things annoying.  They’d taken their jackets off long ago – William had his off when Aberdeen got in the car, and she’d taken hers off soon after, not bothering to put it back on when she ran in and out of San Remo Bakery – but now there was William t-shirt and hoodie to worry about, and Aberdeen’s sweater, and…

Aberdeen felt William’s hands go underneath her sweater and shivered.

“You alright, minskatt?” William asked as he felt her body shake at his touch.  

Aberdeen nodded.  She began kissing him again, grinding her hips against his lap, causing him to groan.  His hands kept traveling higher and higher against her bare skin until he reached her bra.  Aberdeen helped take off her sweater.  William took his off, too.  She could feel how hard she was getting as she grinded more in his lap, pressing her bare skin onto his and feeling his body heat.  Eventually, he pushed her bra straps down, kissing his way down to her breasts before taking a nipple on his mouth.  Aberdeen threw her head back.  “Willy…” she sighed out, the feeling of his tongue flicking against her nipple making her shiver again.  He switched to the other breast.  “Oh, Willy…” she began to pant harder.

She dropped her hands in between them.  

As Aberdeen stuck her hand down his pants, William stopped.  “Ab—Aberdeen—”

“Willy please tell me you have a condom somewhere.”

He huffed, looking nervous.  “I d…I don’t think I do—”

“What?”

“I wasn’t expecting this, minskatt.  I swear.”  Okay, so they couldn’t have sex.  But they could still have fun, she thought immediately, because there was no way she was going to stop now.  She was too far gone.  “If you want to stop I underst—”

“We are not stopping,” Aberdeen said firmly.  “I’m—I—help me pull your pants down.”

She started on her own, eagerly, but William helped.  She saw how hard his member was and grabbed it.  She noticed William’s sharp intake of breath.  She began to stroke him, looking him straight in the eye.  “D’you like that?”

William nodded.  He pulled her pants down, too, and moved her underwear to the side.  “I want to make you feel good,” he whispered.

“You always do,” she smiled.

He smiled back at her.  He began teasing her core before slipping one finger into her.  She gasped in pleasure, biting her lip as she moved her hips slowly.  “That’s good?” William asked quickly, only for Aberdeen to nod her head just as quickly, letting out a sigh.  She tried to steady her breathing as William’s finger began moving in and out of her slowly, curling every so often.  For her part, she kept jerking him off too, his grunts her fuel.

“D’you like when I touch you like this?” she asked, mumbling against his lips, biting down on the bottom one.  

He kissed her in response, sloppy and wet to let her know what he thought.  He used his thumb to start rubbing circles against her hot core, and the sound of her mewling out his name over and over again was driving him absolutely insane.  “More,” she whimpered.  “More, Willy.  One more.”

William slipped another finger into her easily and curled them both.  “Oooooh, fuck,” Aberdeen sighed out, along with every other swear word in the book.  She quickened her strokes of his cock and he grunted again, bucking his hips slightly.  They kissed for a while longer, both their hands working magic on the other, until she felt him buck his hips again.  “Are y’close, Willy?”  He nodded, unable to form words.  “D’you wanna cum in my mouth?”

Willy’s eyes bulged out dramatically.  “You’ve gotta cum first.”

“Willy—”

“You don’t hav—you’ve gotta cum first,” he repeated more definitively, curling his fingers in her again, making her cry out.  

“Don’t stop, then,” she bit her lip.  “I’m so close.”

William leaned forward to kiss Aberdeen, and with a few more curls of his fingers and circles of his thumb, she began writhing and shaking on top of him, moaning his name over and over and over again as she rode out her orgasm for as long as she could.  She buried her head in the crook of his neck as she came down from her orgasm, feeling his fingers slip out of her.  She watched as he brought them up to his mouth and sucked.  She was surprised he’d do something that bold, but then again, he had just fingered her in the backseat of his car after she’d initiated the entire rendezvous.  “Fuck, Willy.”

“Felt good?” he asked quickly.

“Felt fucking amazing,” she responded, trying to suppress her giggle.  With her hand still miraculously on his cock, she continued stroking, slowly at first.  “You ok?”

He nodded his head.  “You look so fucking sexy,” he mumbled, referring to how her bra was still pushed down and the red flush that had taken over her body after her orgasm.  It was his favourite sight to see.  “I love it when I hear you moan my name.  I…fuck Aberdeen.”

“I love how good you are with your hands,” she smiled mischievously.  

“I love how good you are with yours,” he giggled, sighing slightly as her thumb grazed over the tip of his cock.  They kissed for a while as she continued to stroke him.  “God, you’re so fucking good.  I’m not gonna last much longer.”

“D’you want to cum in my mouth?” she asked again.

There was no backing out of the question now, but William didn’t know how to respond.  Of course it would have been nice, but there was so much to consider.  “You don’t have to.  It’s okay.”

“But Willy—”

“—I haven’t even eaten you out yet and I don’t think it’s fair—”

“—But I want to, Willy,” she said, eyes wide and staring at him with a mix of fake innocence and real determination.  “I want to.”

He didn’t say another word.  Aberdeen kissed him a few more times before she shifted her position and took him in her mouth, sucking the tip of his cock.  William leaned his head back and watched through hooded eyes as she continued to stroke and suck, leaving him utterly speechless.  It was only when Aberdeen started to go deeper that he could feel his release coming, and he suddenly found his voice again.  “Aberdeen—��� he tried to get out, but couldn’t.  She looked up at him with big eyes and he was ready to die right there.  “Aberdeen, I—”

“Cum in my mouth Willy.”

With one last stroke and a buck of his hips, Aberdeen felt his hot cum in her throat.  William moaned and repeated her name over and over, much like she’d done before, and tried to keep his eyes on her as she took every last bit of him.  His jaw was practically on the floor as he looked down at her, and she up at him, until he couldn’t take it anymore.  “C’mere,” dragged her up, planting a messy, wet kiss on her lips as they moaned together, William wrapping his arms around her protectively as he could feel his cock soften.  

They kissed for what felt like hours again, kiss after kiss after kiss, until their pace slowed down and their breaths returned to normal and they realized what they’d just done, what they’d just participated in together, willingly, in a car sitting in an empty parking lot of a park overlooking the Toronto skyline.  In about twelve hours, they’d be on a plane together en route to Ottawa, solely work acquaintances to everyone around them, keeping their secret close to their hearts.

“I love you, minskatt,” William mumbled, his head still a bit dizzy but his heart still full from what had just happened.  

“I love you too,” she responded, her chest rising and falling with her breath, her head equally as dizzy and her heart equally as full.

***

William couldn’t keep his eyes off of Aberdeen, now that they were back in the driver’s and passenger’s seat, on Islington Road heading north to get on the Gardiner Expressway.  She had a flush on her cheeks and a small smile on her face as she looked out the window.  The night was completely dark now, with only the streetlights illuminating the road for them until they got back into the city.  The playlist was playing in the background, but neither bothered to turn the volume up or change the song yet.

William drove slowly.  To have more time with her.

“Minskatt?” he asked softly as they were stopped at a red light.  Aberdeen turned her head to look at him.  “Being with you feels right,” he told her, his voice firm and with conviction.  

“Even though what we’re doing is wrong?” she asked.

William shook his head.  “That doesn’t matter.  I don’t care about the rules.”  He considered her words – how she admitted it was wrong – for a moment and got nervous.  “Does it feel wrong to you?”

“No,” she replied immediately shaking her head.  “Not at all.  But you have to understand that this…this is simultaneously the most wrong thing I’ve ever done, but also the most right.  I don’t know how to explain it.”

“I get it completely,” William said.  “But I don’t regret any of it.”

“I don’t either.”  Aberdeen surprised herself by saying those words out loud.  But they were true.  She didn’t.  She didn’t feel any regret.  “You…you know that right?”

William smiled softly.  He was very, very well aware how much she was sacrificing to do this – to be sneaking around with him – and he was very well aware of how, for her, everything hung by a thread.  Everything for her was on the line, everything, and she was willing to risk it all for him.  That was why he was so protective.  That was why he was so secretive.  That was why he tried his best to keep everything so low-key, to not have people catch on, and if they did, to not take it too seriously.  “I do.”

When she picked up his phone as he took the on-ramp onto the Gardiner Expressway, she chose another song, ‘In Your Eyes’ by the Weeknd.  William recognized the tempo immediately and smiled.  They moved along to the music, singing the lyrics together as they drove on the highway.  Aberdeen danced in her seat and William grooved from side to side as much as he could while still being alert and paying attention to the road.  Near the song’s end, Aberdeen grabbed his phone again and queued the next song.  

When the familiar chords began to play, the synth coming in and the beat loud and strong, William looked over to her and smiled.  “How did I know?” he asked.

“Did you expect anything less from me?” she asked rhetorically, giggling slightly.  

Midnight… You come and pick me up, no headlights… Long drive could end in burning flames or paradise…

Hearing her sing was one of the best things in the world to him.  Almost as good as hearing her talking about writing.  Almost as good as hearing her read her own writing.  There was such a lack of inhibitions in the way she sang and the way she moved, the way she didn’t care about facades or rules or appropriateness anymore, that made every lyric, ever hand motion, every movement and every head bop so endearing to him.  When she took out her phone and began recording the lights on the horizon, all the skyscrapers lit up in the crisp winter’s night air, he reached across the console and held her hand.  Hands that held the ring he got her on it.

Because he could now.  Without any reservation.  

And when Aberdeen smiled, all was right in the world.  

When they got back to her apartment, Aberdeen was reluctant to leave.  William had put the car in park but neither of them moved to say goodbye or do anything, really.  They were lucky that her street wasn’t a main street; that it was residential and tucked in behind two other, more major streets, so that they wouldn’t be honked at or bothered.  

“Have you packed for tomorrow yet?” Aberdeen asked, her voice quiet.

William shrugged.  “Just gotta choose a suit, really.  There’s nothing to it.  You?”

“Yeah,” she nodded her head.  “My suitcase is pretty much always ready to go nowadays.  I’m uh…Brendan actually gave me lunch time off so I can meet up with Siena.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.  She’s even coming to the game.  Not in the press box or anything but she’ll be in a seat somewhere in the arena.  You might get to see her.”

William stayed silent for a few moments.  “Did you like tonight?” he asked.

Aberdeen smiled.  “Very much so.”

Some more moments of silence.  It wasn’t until William leaned over to give her a kiss that there was another sound.  “I love you, minskatt.”

She smiled into the kiss.  “I love you too, Willy,” she said, for what felt like the tenth time that night.  She put her hand on the door handle and pulled so the door would open.  She knew if she stayed any longer, they’d be there all night, either kissing or just sitting there in silence.  “Get home safe, okay?  Text me.”

He didn’t want her to leave, but he digressed because they both had an early wakeup time tomorrow.  He also knew that he’d be seeing her in a few hours again, anyway.  “I will, minskatt,” he gave her one last kiss before letting her go.

When Aberdeen walked into her condo building, it was like the concierge was waiting for her.  “Ms. Bloom?” he asked as she walked by the desk.

“That’s me…”

“This is for you,” he said, handing her a large manila envelope.  “Courtesy of your friend,” he nodded towards William, still waiting outside in his car until Aberdeen turned the corner to get to the elevator where he wouldn’t be able to see her.  

She furrowed her brows.  When…?  How…?  “Thanks…” she took it from him, thanking him politely before making her way towards the elevator.  Once she was in, she pressed her floor number and tore open the seal.

Inside, there was a valentine.  A poorly made and executed valentine, but a valentine nonetheless.  William had cut out a giant heart out of red construction paper.  He’d glued googly-eyes on it to make a face, glued pipe cleaners and cotton balls and stickers where necessary, and had even used glitter.  She laughed out loud – it honestly looked like a valentine made by one of her mom’s first graders.  When she noticed it was a card, she opened it up.  She saw, in William’s handwriting:

Jag tänker på dig när jag inte ens tanker

It was when she got to her bedroom that she punched in the words, with all their accents, carefully into Google Translate on her phone.  Again.  He was always making her translate things, although she highly doubted there would be a communication error this time around and think he was calling her ‘little shit’.  When the translation came up, her heart skipped a beat.

I think about you when I’m not even thinking.

[likeshipsonthesea]

I dare you to post their get together from chowder's perspective because you're an amazing and magical writer and I'd love to read it at any level of editing

well u did dare me :P inspired heavily by this post

the thing is, chowder really, really loves his new friends.

nursey is so cool and funny and nice and he knows all this poetry that sounds so cool and he always saves chowder a piece of pie when he isn’t there and bitty’s on a baking binge, and he helps chowder write Important Emails and doesn’t even complain when chowder asks him about the exclamation point in the third paragraph for the fourth time

and dex is really smart and has a dry sense of humor and he cares so much about people even when he pretends he doesn’t, he does his laundry when chowder does and lets chowder match all the socks while he folds both of their clothes with like retail level precision and he’s great to sit and work on coding with and never gets upset when chowder interrupts him to ask him why a certain part isn’t working right and he helps bitty make him soup and pastries when he gets sick right before finals week their frog fall semester

and they’re both swawesome at hockey, they do their very best to keep the dirty puck away from his net, and they are such swawesome people and literally the only thing he doesn’t like about his new friends is how adamant they are about not liking each other

he tries, at first, to correct their complaining when they come to him. “the guy refuses to listen to anyone who isn’t himself,” nursey groans, muffled, because his face is pressed against chowder’s pillow, and chowder very kindly explains that dex is a bit stubborn sometimes but he always listens to chowder, even when he has a differing opinion, and when dex wraps himself in chowder’s duvet like a burrito and grumbles out, “he acts like he’s chill all the fucking time just to fuck with me,” chowder says that nursey acts like he’s chill even when dex isn’t there and also, why do you think he’s acting?? i think he’s just that chill

but as time goes on he realizes that neither of them believe him because they haven’t seen it for themselves and, look, he could try and orchestrate some plot where they secretly see one another being good people and miraculously change their opinion about each other and they all become a happy trio of friendos with no animosity at all, but chowder is also an ncaa athlete, a stem major, and someone who likes to party a fair amount. he’s got no time for that kind of bullshit.

and so they go through spring term and things aren’t greeattt all the time and sometimes nursey and dex get into screaming matches on the quad and chowder just has to pretend like he doesn’t know them, but most of the time it’s good, it’s fine, and he really does love his friends.

then they lose the frozen four, something happens that neither of them will tell him about, and the fuckers go and gang up on him

it seems, after all the times chowder told them about how they’re both funny and good at hockey and passionate about school and all the other things they have in common, they decide instead to bond over their mutual love of chirping their very best friend in the whole wide world.

to be honest, he’s just glad they’re getting along.

and they still show up at his room all hours of the night and day to burrow into his bed and complain about each other, but at least now chowder lives in the haus and he can eat pie as he pretends to listen to them.

and maybe he starts noticing how some of the complaints aren’t necessarily the kind of thing you’d expect, like “how are his eyes so fucking green, it’s impossible to win an argument when he’s staring at you” or “have you seen how many freckles he has after summer break?? he’s like one giant freckle, it’s unfairly distracting” and despite not really paying attention, he starts to notice when the tone of complaining changes from i hate this guy to i hate how pretty this guy is

he never brings it up. once again, he does not have time to try and get his two best friends together on top of all his other responsibilities, but he notes it down anyway. for being-a-good-friend-purposes. like when ransom sets nursey up with a girl on the volleyball team, chowder spends the whole night watching monty python movies with dex on the couch, and kindly ignores the relief in dex’s shoulders when nursey shows up to breakfast the next day and relays that the date was a bust. and when they’re doing workouts at the gym, chowder very deftly navigates nursey away from the weights when dex is using them to spare him from turning into a mumbling mess at the sight of dex’s arms

and maybe he notices when they start becoming more self aware and the complaining-about-appearance becomes complaining-about-good-things, like nursey saying, in the middle of a rant, “you know he’s fixed betsy like fifteen times in the past two weeks? how the fuck can you fix an oven fifteen different ways? that’s insane” or when dex pauses his recount of nursey’s ridiculous chill behavior to mention, “he’s been editing ransom’s thesis because he knows how much ransom stresses over grammar and he’s like, really good at it”

and it’s probably at this point that chowder breaks the bro code and tells farmer all about his dumb friends and their dumb mutual infatuation, because lbr here the boy cannot handle all this pining on his own. “they’re in love with each other but they think it’s hate”

“i know, i know” farmer soothes, running her fingers through his hair

“why are boys so dumb” chowder laments

farmer, who is currently wearing her best bra and pantie set under her clothes, sighs deeply. “i don’t know,” she says, equally forlorn.

then, well, then the dib flip happens and nursey and dex are literally shoved together and either one or both of them -- chowder has an inkling that it’s dex, but he’s not sure -- seems to freak out and neither of them comes to his room to complain for the rest of the term.

and then chowder has the greatest summer of his life, his former captain wins the stanley cup, and bitty and jack get to kiss on center ice, and chowder gets to attend a training camp with the falcs and jack and he’s on the ice with twenty stanley cup champions and chowder doesn’t come down from this high until he shows up at the haus and finds out that something has gone horribly wrong.

despite the frequent texts, calls, and facetimes, dex and nursey didn’t seem to have as great summers as they’d made it appear. they don’t really tell him directly -- that’s another thing they have in common, never talking about their emotions plainly -- but from what chowder can glean from what they do tell him, is that dex’s family seemed to take jack and bitty’s coming out as evidence towards dex’s queerness and they were dealing with it... less than great, and nursey’s parents had a fight and had since been jettisoning around the world for “work” in an attempt to avoid one another and, as a result, nursey

the living together thing goes.. not swawesome. chowder is obviously disappointed that he no longer has his two best friends just a bathroom away, but after dex moves into the basement, both nursey and dex start coming back to his room for complain sessions again and it’s -- chowder wants to say it’s a good sign.

it starts out mostly complaint complaining, the familiar stuff from their frog year, but slowly but surely as the year goes on the old “his fucking hair” and “he literally helped a little old lady carry her groceries to her car” come back into play and chowder lets go of some stress he hadn’t realized he’d been holding

“they’re going to make me go gray before i’ve even hit 25,” chowder says, another night when he’s complaining to farmer, and farmer says, “you’d look sexy as a silver fox,” and, well. the rest of the night is spent very much not complaining

senior year, they’ve got an ncaa championship under their belt and dex is the captain. he stops coming to chowder’s dorm, probably out of some sense of loyalty to his team that chowder finds both ridiculous and sweet. nursey seems to have no qualms complaining about his captain, on the other hand, but soon even the thin veneer of complaining he’d covered all his pining with has washed away.

“he’s so good with the baby frogs,” and “never tell this to another living soul, but his cherry pie is even better than bitty’s,” and, one memorable night, “do you think i’m in love with dex?”

it’s after sunset, the world dark outside chowder’s window but he’s not exactly sure of the time, and nursey’s lying on his bed, staring up at the ceiling and he looks -- chill. he doesn’t always look chill anymore -- looking back, chowder can admit that maybe the ever-present chill from their frog year had been more a show than anything else -- so this chill means something important, chowder thinks.

chowder thinks, smiling a little, that nursey is finally ready.

“of fucking course i think you’re in love with dex,” chowder bursts out with the frustration that’s a by-product of having patience for three and a half fucking years. “you’ve come into my room at all hours of the day since we were freshmen to complain about how pretty his freckles are, you’ve been in love with the dude for years, and i’ve had to sit here and deal with all of it.”

nursey’s staring at him with a slightly open mouthed, wide-eyed expression.

chowder gathers his poise and then says, very calmly, “yes.”

nursey nods, once or twice slowly and then picking up speed. “wow. okay.”

“i’ve been holding that in for a while.”

“i could tell.”

“hmm.”

a stupid, hopeful, optimistic part of chowder thought that would be the end of it. nursey realized he’s in love with dex, he’d tell dex, and they’d be all stupid and gross and finally chowder would get them back for years of fines.

but nothing seems to change. nursey still comes in and ostensibly complains while pining and dex still doesn’t, instead apparently baking away his frustration (and it’s not like chowder’s going to complain about that) and really, chowder should’ve known these two idiots would need more than a few sentences to get over their combined stupidity

it comes to a head a week before graduation. never let it be said that chowder’s friends are anything less than Dramatic Fuckers

he’s helping dex pack away everything he won’t need in the next few days so when he and nursey leave for new york after graduation there won’t be much to do. he finds a random green beanie in a drawer with dex’s workout clothes and says, “hey, where should i put this?” and dex gets the most ridiculous sappy look on his face.

he hasn’t technically been chowder’s captain since the season ended with a back to back ncaa championship a month ago, and it’s not like dex has any authority over him after how many times he bugged chowder about nursey’s nose, so it’s without hesitation and with purely dex’s best interests at heart that chowder says, “you know you’re in love with him, right?”

dex surprises him then by saying, “yeah.”

a vein in chowder’s neck nearly pops. “then why the fuck have i been listening to nursey pine about your eyelashes for months.”

dex’s eyes widen and, when he gets over the surprise elation whatever, he stumbles over some stupid explanation that captains shouldn’t date their players and it wasn’t the right time and all this other absolute crap, and so chowder does the most meddling he’s ever allowed himself to do and tells dex that he will finish the packing as long as he goes and finds nursey right this fucking second

when nursey and dex tell the story to him and farmer later -- dex blushing and nursey embellishing with his arm curled around dex’s shoulders, pulling him close -- chowder will laugh and tease them and play his part as their very best friend in the whole wide world.

but that night, when he’s gross and sweaty from packing up dex’s entire fucking room and he can’t even sleep in his own goddamned bed because his friends are being exceptionally loud just one bathroom away, he shows up on farmer’s doorstep and says, with all the sincerity in the world, “i hate my friends”

[puckinghell]

Almost | Nathan MacKinnon

Summary: Every time Nate doesn’t tell you he loves you, he almost does. Until the clock suddenly starts ticking, and almost might not be enough. Words: 5.3k Note: I wrote this all at once and I couldn’t be bothered to read it after to make sure it made sense so excuse me if it doesn’t. We’re in the midst of a global crisis, I couldn’t buy potatoes in the supermarket cause it’s empty, and I don’t have my emotional support dumbass hockey boys, so you can imagine the emotional distress I’m under.

---

Nate isn’t very good at flirting.

He knows that, and he’s known that for a long time. Not only because he’s got pretty good self-insight, but also because his teammates have been telling him for years. 

In fact, the first time he went out with Tyson, back when he just came onto the Avs and going out was a big deal to him, Tys shook his head and said: “If you don’t learn how to flirt you’re gonna end up dying alone. With a Cup and enough gold to drown in, but alone.” 

Nate loves Tys to death, but he still thinks about that night sometimes and wants to kick Tys in the shin.

Because as much as he’s bad at flirting, he never really thought it was a problem. Surely one day a girl would come into his life and she’d like him so much she would do the heavy lifting, and he could just kinda cruise along. Or maybe one day, when the right girl would come into his life, it would all be easy, suddenly. 

Except.

He’s pretty sure that you are the right girl. He has been sure about that for the past two years, ever since you became friends. And yet, you’re still friends. Just friends.

Nate thinks he kinda accidentally put himself in the friend zone. At first he thought it was fine if you were just friends, because it would grow into something more naturally. 

But one day Gabe turned to him solemnly and said: “Once she’s put you in the ‘Don’t go there’ part of her brain, you’re not coming out of there, bro.” 

He’d waved Gabe off, but now he’s starting to think Gabe was right. 

Because in the beginning, sometimes, you’d look at him a certain way, or you’d say something, and Nate was certain you meant it in a flirty way. Was sure he saw his own feelings reflected in your eyes. But those times became less and less frequent and now, he can’t remember the last time you looked at him like that. He only knows that you talk to him about dates you go on, like it doesn’t break his heart to think about you with someone else. And you wrap your arms around him so easy and comfortably, like the butterflies in his stomach when you touch him have no right o be there. And you ask to sleep in his bed with him after late movie nights like the thought of it ever being anything more than sleeping has never entered your mind. Nate thinks maybe he’s missed his window, but he also can’t imagine not ending up with you. So he starts his quest of getting you to notice him in a different way.

--

It’s shortly after he made that decision that he’s finding himself in Gabe’s backyard, a bottle of beer in his hand as he stands next to EJ who is grilling steaks on the barbecue. Gabe’s summer barbecue is somewhat of a staple, for the Avs, and if he thought that having a baby would mean Gabe’s parties would come to an end, Nate was wrong. Gabe flutters through the backyard with Linnea on his arm like he’s never done anything else. He switches his own beer bottle with Linnea’s bottle of milk – or whatever she’s drinking – between people he chats to, and before too long he shows up next to Nate and EJ. “Looking good,” Gabe whistles, looking at the grill. “Nate, are you staring at Y/N again?” Nate swirls around to face his captain; he hadn’t even noticed he was staring at you, but perhaps he was, because he knows you’ve been talking to Josty for the past 15 minutes and he’s not entirely happy about the way Josty leaned into you while he laughed at something you said. “It’s too late, bud,” EJ says, his signature toothless grin appearing. “You’ve waited too long and now she’s going to think you mean everything in a friendly way.” “That’s not true!” Nate starts protesting, even though he knows EJ is just trying to rile him up; but he can’t really make his point because you choose that moment to come over to them. “Are you still not done?” you tease EJ, playfully bumping against his shoulder. “I’m hungry, EJ, can you not grill a little faster?” “Grilling is like art,” EJ grumbles, “you can’t rush it.” “That’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever said,” you answer, your voice filled with fondness. “Ah, there’s Linnea! Can I hold her?” You make grabby hands at the baby and Gabe easily passes her to you, which, honestly, rude. “You never let me hold her!” Nate sputters, and Gabe shrugs. “That’s because Y/N is responsible and you killed the only succulent you had in your house.” “A succulent is not the same as a baby. I could take care of her.” Nate feels extremely offended, even more so when you giggle. “No offense, but if I had to pick someone to take care of Linnea, it would be Y/N, then Colin, then literally anyone else, before it would be you,” says Gabe. “Even Josty?” Nate whines, and at that moment, Mel steps in next to Gabe, putting her hand on his back. “Are we letting Tyson take care of Linnea?” she asks. “Absolutely no way,” Gabe is quick to answer, and you suppose it’s a good thing Josty isn’t here to hear that. “I was just saying I would let Y/N take care of our little girl.” “Oh, would you?” Mel excitedly grasps your shoulder. “Gabe and I haven’t had a date night in like, months! “Sure, I’d love to,” you answer truthfully. You slide your finger into Linnea’s hand, the baby making excited gurgling noises as she clasps down on it. She’s stronger than she looks. “Can I come?” Nate says suddenly. His cheeks are a little tinted, even though it’s not that warm outside anymore. “It could be like, a babysitting date.” “Oh, of course!” you answer. “That’s a perfect idea, Nate! Mel, we should set up a play date for Linnea with my sister’s baby!” You ignore EJ’s cackling laugh and what sounds like a low groan coming from Nate, instead follow Mel to the porch with Linnea in your hands to plan the play date. EJ slings his arm around Nate, grinning a little wickedly as he says: “So close, Nathan. Almost got her.”

Nate elbows him in the stomach loud enough to earn a disapproving tut from Gabe.

--

Nate tells Sid about his plan during their monthly FaceTime session. “Good luck with that, dude,” Sid says, and it doesn’t even sound that condescending, coming from him. “What do you think I should do?” Nate knows asking Sid for advice on flirting is like asking a blind man for advice on how to see, but he’s getting desperate and he really, really doesn’t want to have to ask Tys. He’d never live that one down. “Uh,” Sid answers, and that’s about as much as Nate was expecting from him, anyway. “Maybe ask her out to dinner, or something?” Actually, that’s more than Nate was expecting from Sid, because that’s actually not the worst idea. Sure, you’ve gone out to dinner together many times, but it was always very clearly not a date setting; either the other guys were there, or it was at a MacDonalds – Nate doesn’t like to go to junkfood places, but he supposes if Tys was gonna leave any imprint on him, it would be his love for McFlurry’s – or it was just dinner at his apartment, wearing sweatpants and ordering Chinese while watching some dumb Netflix show. His chance to ask you comes quicker than he thought, because he’s still talking to Sid – about hockey, this time, something Sid does actually have great advice on – when you come barreling into his apartment. Your hair is wet from the rain and you shrug off your rain coat with a wave in his direction. “It’s pouring,” you tell him, “and I walked to work, so.” To anyone else, it would be a bad explanation, but it’s not the first time you’ve showed up at Nate’s apartment like this. You like to walk to work when it’s not too cold but sometimes the weather surprises you and you don’t want to walk back in the rain or the wind. Nate’s apartment is a lot closer to your work than your apartment, so it’s become a habit of yours to go to Nate’s on days like that and just hang out in his apartment until you either fall asleep there or Nate offers to drive you home.    “Is that Y/N?” Sid asks. “Hey, Y/N!” “Hi Sid!” you call back. “Nate, I’m gonna shower.” “Ask her,” Sid says, which is very pushy for Sid, who usually never tells Nate to do anything, instead just says “If I were you, I would consider” and let Nate figure out the underlying message. “Ask me what?” you ask Nate curiously, eyeing him up and down. He’s glaring at Sid as if Sid said something wrong, and when he looks at you, he doesn’t quite catch your eye. “I was wondering if you wanted to get dinner with me?” Nate asks. It’s a bit of a formal question for something you do at least once a week, but you shrug it off; Nate is a bit weird, sometimes, and you’re used to that. “Sure,” you say. “Let’s order Thai. Get my usual while I’m showering? I’m hungry.” Then you yell: “Bye Sid!” before making your way to the bathroom. Nate lets out a frustrated sigh and Sid sounds sympathetic when he says: “Almost there, dude. Just, next time, if I were you, I’d consider…” Nate is already not listening anymore.

--

Today is the day, Nate has decided. He bought roses, which EJ told him is lame and Gabe told him is great idea, and he cooked pasta, for which he used Sammy’s recipe. He’s not a good cook, but Sammy promised it’s impossible to mess up, and he thinks he did alright. He texted you this morning to ask you to come to his place for dinner. You replied with a sure :) and Nate takes that to be a good sign. He has a plan. When you walk in, he’ll take your coat, instantly changing the routine between you, because he normally stays on the couch when you open the door with your key. He won’t be wearing sweatpants, either, not even if he expects you might be; he’s wearing black jeans and a nice button up, and he’s even done his hair. Well, made an attempt to; it didn’t really work out and now it looks kinda the same as always, but hey, he’s really trying, here. Next, he’ll lead you to the table, which he’ll actually have set up, and at that point, surely you understand something different is happening, because a set up table is so different from his normal paper plates and Netflix. Then he’ll give you the roses and confess his feelings. He’s not really thought that part through too much, because every time he thinks about it he almost throws up. So. He’ll have to wing that. The problem, Nate finds out, with planning everything to perfection, is that when one thing goes wrong, the entire plan has to go out the window. Because half an hour after you were supposed to arrive, he gets a text saying sorry I’m late! Be there in 10 and he knows he’s gonna have to reheat the pasta, which Sammy said was not the point of pasta. But he’s not gonna kick off and cause a scene when you arrive, because he reasons it doesn’t really matter, in the grand scale of things. So he sits on the couch and waits. Finally, the door swings open and Nate jumps to his feet, ready to take your coat from you. Except, you’re not wearing a coat; you’re wearing his old hoodie and for some reason his breath hitches in his throat and suddenly he feels like his feet are nailed to the floor, unable to move. “Hey, sorry I’m late,” you call, basically running further into the apartment. “I came from the gym and let me tell you, I have got great news!” “News?” Nate echoes. You stop right in front of him, your eyes shining and a bright smile on your face. Suddenly, you lift an eyebrow, eyes catching on something. “Nathan MacKinnon, did you do something to your hair?” Before Nate can answer, you shrug and continue. “Well, it doesn’t matter anyway. Guess what happened at the gym!” “What?” Nate seems to only be able to repeat what you say, so he decides to stick with that. “I got asked on a date!” Nate thinks if he had one wish, he would wish for the floor to open up beneath his feet and for him to sink through the building, all 7 floors below his apartment, and then down into the ground, until he could bury himself in the dirt. “A date?” You’re so hyped you don’t even notice your best friend is simply repeating your words, barely reacting in any other way. “He’s so hot, this guy, Nate! He comes to the gym every Thursday, just like I do, and we never talk but sometimes I catch him looking, and like, I look back, you know? And today he came over and he asked if I wanted to get a drink, but obviously I had plans with you and I would never blow you off, so I said we could do it tomorrow. I have a date tomorrow, Nate!” In your excitement, you reach forward and wrap your arms around Nate, pressing your face into his chest. His heart is beating fast, and you notice that he kinda just remains frozen into place, so you look up at him with a frown. “Nate? You okay?” That seems to shake Nate from his trance, as he literally shakes himself out of it and slowly puts his arms around you. With a happy sigh, you allow yourself to sink into the embrace. “What are we eating, anyway? I’m hungry.” Nate praises any and every God there could possibly be that he decided to leave the door to the dining room closed. “Whatever you want, we can order,” he answers. “I’m just gonna, uh, get changed.” “I thought you looked fancy,” you grin, letting go of him and dropping onto the couch. “What about Italian?” Hours later, Nate throws away the empty pizza boxes and puts the roses in the bin with them, and then he goes to his bedroom to scream into a pillow. He wants to call you, wants to ask you to not go on a date with that guy. But then he thinks about how excited you looked and he doesn’t call. He doesn’t call, but he almost does, and he thinks that’s a pretty good way to describe how his life is going.

--

Nate has truly hit rock bottom, which is why he’s scrolling through his phone until he finds the familiar name. “Dogggg!” Tys yells into the phone, because he can never answer the phone like a normal person. “I’m baking chocolate chip cookies!” And Nate is suddenly a little overwhelmed with how much he misses his best friend. “Baking?” he teases. “What kinda mental breakdown are you going through this time?” “Hey, fuck you,” Tys says, but he sounds mellow and not bothered at all. “What’s up?” And Nate has been planning to ease into this conversation, have a little small talk, maybe talk about Toronto and how the coaching change has been working out for Tys, but Tys is his best friend – apart from you – and suddenly he can’t keep it to himself anymore. “I’m in love with Y/N,” he blurts out, and he hears a clank on the other side of the line that sounds suspiciously like Tyson dropping a spoon. “Well, yeah,” Tys comes back, a little too calmly for Nate’s liking. “But I meant like, what’s up with you that’s new, Dogg.” “I need to do something about it,” Nate says, and that seems to get Tyson’s attention, cause he suddenly sounds a lot more interested when he says: “Oh?”    “Cause like,” Nate starts, and he knows he’s about to start rambling. “Cause I’m so into her, you know, and I have been for so long, but I don’t think she sees me that way? And maybe if I would’ve done something sooner, she would’ve thought of me as an option, and she wouldn’t be going out with that guy right now..” “Wow hold up,” Tyson interrupts. “Wait, she’s got a boyfriend?” “No!” The force with which that word erupts from Nate’s mouth is maybe a little too telling, cause Tyson immediately goes into ‘calm down Nate’ mode. “Hey, hey, it’s just a date or two, right?” he soothes. “It’s totally not serious yet. And you and her, you’ve got history, dude. She loves you! There’s still time!” “What if she doesn’t love me in that way, though?” Nate asks, and he hates how tiny his voice sounds. “Then she’s got no taste, Nate,” Tyson says, awfully genuine. “You’d be an awesome boyfriend. Hell, you’ve basically been her boyfriend, you two act like a couple all the time.” Nate hadn’t thought of it like that. “Cause like, you’re always hanging out together, right?” Tys continues. “And you bring her to all your events as your plus one. She cooks you dinner at least once a week. You pick her up and drop her off when it’s raining and she doesn’t wanna walk. You always get her a Christmas present. She even bakes your favorite cookies when you’ve had a tough game.” He sounds slightly jealous when he says: “Cookies, bro! That’s true love.” And, well, Nate had always thought that was just a friend thing, but when he thinks about it, he doesn’t really treat any of his other friends that way. Has never picked up his phone at 4 am because Sid was calling, never ran a bath for Tys after a long day. Maybe, in a way, he has been acting like your boyfriend. Except. “We don’t kiss and stuff, though.” Tyson laughs. “And stuff. I bet you want the stuff, huh, bro?” “Shut up,” Nate grumbles, but he’s too thankful for Tyson’s input to put much heat behind it. “Brutes, what do I do?” “You need to complete the package, Dogg,” Tys says, sounding confident. “You’re almost her boyfriend. Now go get that kiss and be it for real.”

--

Nate is not usually a big drinker, but this, he needs to be super, super drunk for. “Careful,” Burky says, as he watches Nate slam back another shot. “That’s a lot of alcohol, Nate.” “You gonna call Gabe on me?” Nate says, defiant, and Burky shrugs. “No, but if you need to be carried home, I’ll get Z to do it.” That’s enough for Nate to not order another shot right away. “He’s upset because Y/N is here with a guy.” It’s Comphy who speaks, in a dull tone like he’s talking about the weather. Josty, who is with them too, sits up a little straighter. “She came with a guy?” “Shut up,” Nate all but growls. “I didn’t know when I invited her the invitation would be extended.” He really hadn’t; he’d asked you to come out with the boys after the game because he found out you were bringing the guy – Nate purposely forgets his name every time – and he figured he was running out of time. At least if he kept you out all night you couldn’t go home with the guy, and he might find the courage to tell you how he feels. Except then you’d shown up with the guy in tow, and now he’s wondering if it’s possible to drown himself in tequila. He must’ve looked properly miserable for the guys to crowd around him like they are; Gabe went home because he’s a dad now, but Comph and Josty and Burky are all sitting with him, refusing to have fun now that their assistant captain looks ready to commit a crime, and Z and EJ both keep shooting worried glances his way. Nate really doesn’t care. What he cares about is that you’re with with a guy that’s not him, and you’ve barely paid attention to him. He’s just about drunk enough that that annoyance is starting to become unbearable, and just drunk enough that it seems like a good idea to do something about it. “Nate, no…” Burky starts, when Nate stands up, and Comphy reaches for him, but even drunk Nate is quicker than them and he starts pushing his way through the crowd, to where you’re standing with the guy and laughing at something he’s saying. You feel two strong arms wrap around your waist, the grip almost too tight as you’re pushed flat against a muscular chest. For a second, you freeze, ready to fight, but then you smell familiar cologne and you recognize the arms that are wrapped around you in iron grip. “Nate?” you say. “Everything okay?” Nate hums in your ear but it’s not really words; just a low hum that makes something tingle in the pit of your stomach. If only Tom knew the effect Nate has on you, he probably wouldn’t be here. As it is, Tom’s eyes are wide as he stares at Nate. You did tell him you knew people on the team and that’s why you could get tickets to the Avs game so last minute, but you’d forgone the mention that your “contact” is Nathan MacKinnon; for some reason, you didn’t really want those worlds to mix just yet. Maybe that’s why you’d been keeping your distance from Nate, tonight. Normally, Nate isn’t the kinda guy to come chasing you down, but you can smell the alcohol on his breathe and his words slur a little when he says: “Where have you been?” Your heart starts beating a little faster. “Here,” you say, trying to ignore the dark tone to Nate’s voice. To say you’re confused in an understatement: Nate sounds almost angry, but he’s clinging to you like he’s not ever letting you go, so surely he can’t be angry at you. You wish Tom wasn’t here. If you’d been alone, you would’ve dragged Nate outside and talked to your best friend, figured out what’s bothering him, because it’s clear there’s something and you don’t like knowing that he’s carrying it alone. Nate has a tendency to carry the entire world on his shoulders, on his own, even when there’s so many people who would share the burden with him. “Dude,” Tom says, “you’re Nathan MacKinnon!” You feel Nate tense behind you. You know he doesn’t like to be recognized in public spaces but honestly, Tom didn’t speak loudly, and he’s not making a scene, so you wiggle out of Nate’s hold and put your hand on his arm.

Usually, that calms him down. “Yeah, Tom, this is my friend Nate. Nate, this is Tom.” Nate’s face is schooled into perfect indifference as he shakes the hand Tom holds out to him; the only thing betraying that he’s annoyed is the fact that his other, free, hand is balled into a fist and his knuckles are white. “Good to meet you, man,” Tom says. “That was such a nice goal there in the 2nd, holy shit dude! I’m like, such a big fan of you!” You cringe a little as Nate narrows his eyes. “Thanks,” he says, and he could not sound more bored if he tried. Even Tom shifts on his feet and nervously looks towards the floor. Then Nate’s hand finds its way to your lower back, his thumb dipping under your shirt. You feel like all the blood is rushing through your cheeks, and when Tom frowns, you feel like you could pass out. “Nice to meet you,” Nate says, in a tone that makes it clear he’d rather undergo a colonoscopy than ever speak to Tom again. “But can I borrow my girl for a second?” My girl? “Nate, what the…” you sputter, but you’re already being pushed through the crowd towards the exit, and before you know it you’re standing in a dark alley with your back to the brick wall of the club. Nate is standing close, so close you can feel his breath against your cheek when he exhales. His eyes are big and a bit wild, and you wonder if he can hear your heartbeat as clearly as you can. “Nate…” You mean to ask him what’s going on, but for some reason his name comes out of your mouth in a quiet rush of air, and it seems to do something to Nate, who inhales sharply and drops his head a little, his forehead nearly touching yours. “I hate it,” he mutters, the words soft enough that you can only make them out because it’s just the two of you in the silent outside air. “Hate what?” “Seeing you with him.” Those words hit you like a freight train, and all you manage to bring out is a soft “uhm”. “I can’t watch you with him,” Nate whispers. His hands are against the wall but his chest is pressed up against yours, and slowly but surely, he’s leaning in. And that’s when you realize, oh. Nate is going to kiss you. To your own surprise, that doesn’t shock you. It’s not some big thing that throws the world of its axis, that shakes the ground beneath your feet. It’s just a realization and then a soft, warm feeling of comfort spreading through your body. You want him to kiss you so badly, but it’s not like something is exploding, knowing that he wants it too. Instead, it’s like something finally falls into place.

“Y/N?” a voice goes, and you almost whine out loud. Nate jumps back like he’s been stung. He stares at you with wide eyes, the color drained from his face, and then he turns around and all but runs away. Tom watches him leave, then faces you, and in that moment you know four things absolutely certain. Nate was jealous. You’re never going to go on another date with Tom. Nate almost kissed you. And almost wasn’t enough.

--

Nate wakes up with a banging headache, the taste of dirt in his mouth and 20 missed text messages. Most of the messages are from Tyson, and there’s one from EJ, who is apparently the one that told Tyson about last night in the first place, because his text simply reads: Had to tell Brutes. You need help. Which is probably fair enough. There’s a text from Josty offering support, one from Burky asking if he got home safe, one from Gabe that Nate doesn’t read because he doesn’t want to see Gabe’s disappointed face every time he closes his eyes for the next few days, and then there’s a text from you. We have to talk. Well, fuck. Nate doesn’t have a lot of experience with relationships, but he knows that’s never a good sign. Nate knows that you know him well enough to have figured out that he was drunk last night, so you probably don’t expect him to be up yet. He takes advantage of that time by taking a shower and brushing his teeth at least four times until he can no longer taste the tequila in the back of his throat, making a cup of coffee and having a freak out at his kitchen counter because surely you’re going to tell him to never talk to you again. Not only did he not have the balls to tell you how he feels about you, he also acted like an asshole to a guy you apparently like – although Nate has no clue why, because he seemed boring as hell – and then he nearly kissed you but instead ran away. Not a great track record. It’s nearly noon when he finally gathers up the courage to call you. After all, you’ve given him two years of friendship, so that’s the least he can do. “Hey,” he says softly into the phone when the connection clicks through. “It’s Nate.” “I know,” you answer, and he’s surprised by how light your tone is. “I have caller ID, Nate. Have had it for years.” It throws him off, how normal you sound. There’s nothing in your voice to betray that you’re mad at him, or that you hate him. He almost forgets what he was going to say. Almost, but not quite. “I’m really sorry about last night,” he blurts out. “Do you mind if I come over so we can talk about it?” “Uhm,” you hesitate, and Nate’s heart sinks into the pit of his stomach.    “Actually, I’m almost at your apartment.” “Oh.” Nate had not expected that. “Uhm, okay. I’ll be here, then.” You laugh. “Yeah, I hoped you would be. See you in a bit, Nate.”    It takes you another 6 minutes to arrive; Nate knows it’s exactly 6 because he stares at the hands of the clock while he waits, while simultaneously thinking of all the possible scenarios in which you could break his heart. When you walk into the kitchen, he feels like he’s about to throw up. “You don’t look great,” is the first thing you say to him. “Have you had breakfast? You know hangovers get worse when you don’t eat.” And that’s... Not quite what Nate was expecting. “Yoohoo, Nate?” You wave your hand in front of his pale face, as Nate stares at you and doesn’t speak. “Are you okay?” “You hate me,” Nate blurts out then, and instantly his eyes fix on the floor in shame. “Or, you should.” You frown. “Why? Because you were a jealous dick last night?” Nate’s face turns from white to a bright shade of pink. You smile, walk to Nate who’s sitting on a barstool at the counter, and carefully push open his knees, so you can slide in between his legs. If Nate’s eyes go any wider, you worry they might fall out.   “Last night,” you repeat, “you were jealous. Of Tom.” It’s not a question, but Nate still nods, avoiding your eyes as he does. “And then you were going to kiss me.” Not a question either, and this time Nate doesn’t respond. “Nate,” you say softly, and the warmth in your tone must be what finally gets Nate to look up at you, his eyes locking with yours. “Do you still want to kiss me?” “I do,” Nate says. His voice is a little shaky but he needs to get this out, because he needs you to know this. “I always want to kiss you.” “Why haven’t you?” you ask. The answer is not really an answer, but it means everything anyway. “I almost did,” Nate says. “So many times, Y/N. So many times I almost did.” “Almost, almost,” you repeat, rolling your eyes, and then you slide your hands behind Nate’s neck and kiss him. He almost stumbles, his hands gripping your waist as if he’s afraid he’ll fall right onto the floor if he doesn’t have something to hold onto. But he’s kissing you back right away, his mouth soft yet forceful at the same time. Like he’s never going to stop kissing you. You don’t think you ever want him to.

--

It’s late at night and the streets of Denver are quiet beneath Nate’s apartment.    He’s laying on his back and you’re draped across his chest, naked bodies tangled together under the sheets. He’s not sure if you’re asleep; your breathing is shallow and even, but every now and then your fingers tighten around where they’re wrapped around his arm, and he wonders if you’re dreaming, or simply checking if he’s still there. As if he would ever leave. Nate can’t help himself; he lightly presses his lips against your hair, the ghost of a kiss against your skin. You hum softly. “Nate?” “Yeah,” he whispers. “It’s me.” A lazy giggle escapes your lips. “Thank God it’s not someone else.” The silence returns, but this time it’s heavy with something Nate knows you’re not saying. “What are you thinking about?” he mumbles, tracing circles on the naked skin of your back. Your answer shakes something inside of him. “That I almost didn’t get to have this.” He thinks of all the times he almost said something to you but didn’t, and curses himself for all the time lost. “Almost didn’t, but we did, and that’s what matters, right?” he speaks into the darkness.

You smile.

You know you’re not dreaming, but you almost can’t believe you aren’t.

Almost. 

[shinymooncolor]

For my fellow Sweater Weather fans ❤️ @lumosinlove - thank you!

Kudos to @frombeauxbatons for helping me with Finnish.

@wxlfstxrx and @siriuslyqueer love youuu 💕

Sweater weather chats #10

The team goes to Vegas. Kris gets a new phone. Olli speaks Finnish. Remus and Sirius are in their honeymoon phase. The team dads ship it. Kasey gets cuddles. Logan gets lost. Leo is mad. Everyone bets on Sergei. Dumo is not a fan of Russian cheering during sex. Will we ever find out about Prague?

Wednesday 9.22 pm

Eliascookie: eyyy fucking love wifi in the air. 🤪

Dumodad: shhh someone is trying to nap and you guys are loud 🥴

Logantremblayzzz: sorry grandpa. Not all of us are old and cranky.

Sergei_81: careful I fight people for you

CarbO’Hara: and we love you dearly for that. But no denying you and dumo are old and cranky. You could literally both be Leo’s dads

Ollibear: he looks more like sunny and sergei’s baby than dumo’s

Blizzard: ohhh a love triangle 🙊😳

Sunnysideup: as much as I love sergei, I wouldn’t get between him and dumo. They’re the bromance of our gen :) also not my type

Kaneyoudigit: yeah. Where does that butt slap come from anyways? Even when one of them is out or injured they find time for that 👻

Bradygunz: I don’t think anyone understands it... where does it come from? Something about Prague - Allison was super cagey about it.

Dumodad: shhhh let us sleep. Night boys. Got another few hours and practice tomorrow is not optional. Sleep.

Nadotheman: VEGAS BABY

Krisvolley: practice and a game Nado.

RussianGod: DONT be boring krissy

——

Friday 12.33 pm

Remus created a group chat

Remus added Dumo, Sirius, Sergei, Sunny and Krissy

Remus named group chat HELP

Remus: okay boys. Sorry for this but I’m a little worried. We’re in Vegas and with a whole day of no games and only practice tomorrow once we touch down in LA, I can’t keep an eye on the entire team.

Dumo: haha dont worry go have a nice date with cap. God knows he’s cranky enough that you were away for that course for three days.

Sunny: don’t worry I sleep with ear plugs anyways 😜

Remus: hey we have separate rooms!

Krissy: wE hAvE sEpErAtE rOoMs....... it’s ok remmy 😉 cap plays better after you do whatever it is you do.

Sirius: alright stop. I wasn’t cranky. And leave Remus alone. You’re supposed to be the mature ones. Also Krissy?

Krissy: yes. I got a new iPhone and made the mistake of asking timmers and Olli to help me set it up on the plane. Now I can’t get it to change back. They set it to Finnish. Have no fucking clue and haven’t managed to get hold of Olli yet. 😳😳😳😳

Sergei: cap and re go enjoy honeymoon we take care of babies

Sunny: 😜😜😜😜😜 enjoy it while it lasts. Before you know it’s chores, babies and using alone time to catch up on sleep

Dumo: yeah. Don’t take your blissful kid free life for granted. 😈

Krissy: didn’t Logan and the other two walk in on your guys doing it in the kitchen last month?

Dumo: so?

Sergei: haha just kitchen? I’ve caught them worse. Is ok. You understand when you have babies. 😆

Krissy: I have a baby. I’m just single 😫😫😫

Sunny: want us to find a girl for you?🤓

Krissy: no thank you. Leave my sex life alone.

Sergei: u even have one?

Krissy left the group chat

Dumo added krissy to the group chat

Dumo: Sergei is sorry......... also he walked in on us maybe 5 times calm down. There’s nothing like Russian cheering to kill a mood....

Sunny: 5? That can’t be right. You were bunnies when she was pregnant last. I saw things I cannot unsee 🤯🤯🤯

Sirius left the group chat

Remus: you broke Sirius. Anyways I’ll leave the babysitting to you guys then.

Sunny: HAVE FUN REMUS 🥳🥳

——

Friday 2.54 pm

Logantremblayzzz: guys I’m lost. I’ve been walking towards that big pointy thing and the map from the hotel is crap and I got away from finn and he’s not picking up

*picture of map*

Blizzard: Logan.

Blizzard: THATS A MAP OF PITTSBURGH. WE’RE IN VEGAS. ALSO ITS UPSIDE DOWN.

Blizzard: how the fuck have you lived to see 23? 😆

Logantremblayzzz: oh. That makes more sense. 🙈🙈🙈

Newt-leo: what do you mean you lost Finn? Are you both lost somewhere in Vegas? Just use your phone and get back to the hotel...

Blizzard: Finn left his phone here in the room😂😂😂 better send out a search party

Logantremblayzzz: well I don’t know what happened. I can’t find him now. 😭

LeWilliam: There’s literally one strip of road in Vegas and you’ve gotten lost. 🐸

Dumodad: I swear to the fucking hockey gods we were never this stupid. Idiots. Get back here for 5, and we can go have a team dinner for those who want. Sergei is buying

Evanderbell: ohh @tylerthemighty and I are in!! Thanks @sergei_81!!!

Sunnysideup: he’s sleeping? Hahahah he’s gonna be unhappyyyy 😂

RussianGod: hehe thanks we’re play too...

Nadotheman: he means game. But yeah. Free dinner 😎

Prongstar: I think this one @logantremblayzzz has to go into the promo videos hahahahah 😂😂😂 I’m telling Marlene.... 😘

Ollibear: is anyone looking for Finn?

Newt-leo: yeah me and @krisvolley are going out now

——-

Friday 3.44 pm

CarbO’Hara: THANKS FOR DITCHING ME LOGAN

Logantremblayzzz: I was lost too! Not my fault you wander about

CarbO’Hara: I was talking to a puppy and when I got back up you were gone 😔 didn’t have my phone. Had to ask two Cher’s and an Elvis how to get back. 😫

Newt-leo: you’re back at the hotel now?

CarbO’Hara: yes. Forgot my phone.

Newt-leo: WELL THATS FUCKING GREAT. 😡

Walkietalkie: uhhh someone is in the dog house 😂😂😂

Nadotheman: bad fish... no goalie love for youuu

Blizzard: I can cuddle ya Finn. No worries. 😘😫😘

Logantremblayzzz: you’re not cuddling Finn. Go cuddle Nado if you need to.

RussianGod: come on blizzard. We do goalie sandwich 🥪🥪🥪🥪

Blizzard: gimme five minutes boysss 😍

Krisvolley: we’re heading back now. You’re paying for our cab Finn. Leo is really mad 😉

Friday 3.52 pm

Timmyforrealz: awww 😍

*nado and Kuny cuddling blizzard in a goalie sandwich*

Ollibear: there’s a lot of bromance in my room right now. 😂

Walkietalkie: at least they’re fully clothed. 🤞🏻

——

Friday 6.33 pm

Sergei_81: IM NOT PAYING FOR YOU All

Dumodad: yes you are. It’s your turn. 😘

Sunnysideup: u know it. It’s the deal. Shouldn’t bet if you can’t pay up.

Sergei_81: is thanks I get for fighting for you all.

Sirius: you keep bringing that up. But you love fighting for us. We love you for it 😜

Dumodad: haha cap’s got a point my friend. And you’re a glorious fighter. Haha your punches are feared through the league. Even the linesmen try to avoid getting between you and your victim

Nadotheman: you know there’s a bet in the league? First rookie to take you down gets a Rolex from a draw? Everyone chips in at draft? 😜

RussianGod: is true hehehe I put money in on never so I want watch

KrisVolley: was that an option? 😳 how did I not think of this

RussianGod: I’m smart just not in English. English stupid. Russian best 🥳

—-

Friday 9.33 pm

Ollibear: Mä oon niin ilonen mut mulla on ikävä kotiin. Mulla on ikävä muumeja.

Ollibear: Ja mun äitiä.

Ollibear: Tykkään myös tosi paljon pannukakuista.

Prongstar: Olli.exe stopped working…….

Sunnysideup: eh anyone’s got an eye on Olli? He’s defaulted to Finnish… 🙊🙊🙊

Dumodad: @timmyforrealzzz @nadotheman @russiangod

Dumodad: WHAT DID YOU IDIOTS DO NOW

KrisVolley: hahahaha Olli just had some shots. The waitress was making googly eyes at him and I guess he couldn’t say no 😆

Timmyforrealz: I think we should get him back to the hotel 😁😁😁

Nadotheman: not it!!!!

RussianGod: I got him. He dont walk

——-

“Kuny, he can’t even walk”

“I’m got him. He very drunk. Hehe not hold liquor well for Finn. Is embarrassing” Kuny snorted and hoisted his teammate more firmly over his shoulder.

“He owes me $100 for bribing the driver to take us”

“Sä oot hyvä venäläinen. Et ilkee venäläinen. Tunnen pahoja ja ilkeitä venäläisiä.”

“Any idea what he’s saying?”

“Not sure is even Finnish. Sound like just words”