#maybe- maybe this was my meltdown…

[hinakyuu]

pretty sure it's only a matter of time before I have a complete meltdown about Matthew being so embraced by the Panthers org as a whole. they just appreciate him so much and it's 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

delayed meltdown ‘til the end of SCF sjdjdk (OKAY so i wasn’t planning on replying to this with a whole ass essay, but i couldn’t stop once i started 🫠 tldr; matthew was determined to make a family of his new team and everyone found themselves helpless to resist and now here we are!)

honestly, yeah, i can’t imagine what it was like for the panthers to lose two guys that were not only such an integral part of their team, but had been playing there for several years (huberdeau a decade??). it’s the same for any big trade, the adjustments having to be made, the growing pains of having to establish a new team identity, navigating all the other shit that comes with it. at the beginning i’m sure it was professionalism driving their interactions, not all the players knew what matthew would be like, all the reference they had was on-ice interactions (with the exception of bennett and lomby). and barky is such a nice guy, there’s no way he’d be anything less than polite to the new guy (even if they got him in exchange for his longtime teammate and friend).

what gets me all the time is that we know matthew was struggling in calgary, even if the fans loved him and he had some good friends there, ultimately they treated his emotions/passion as a liability. you know the whole “it can’t be a riot every night” and then not stepping in to defend him when there was an altercation; they just didn’t have his back. then cut to the big blockbuster trade of the summer and he’s so earnest when he says how happy he was to be going to florida, how intentional it all was on his end, he really really wanted to come to florida and play for them, saw a future with them.

then matthew is just the same guy he always is: the guy that takes the trainers out to dinner. i think what started off as a professional relationship with his team has turned into genuine friendship. the panthers, especially under barky’s leadership, weren’t going to turn the new guy away; they all want to make this work, they all want to play great hockey together and hopefully even win the big one. but it’s so amazing to me how they really embraced him, no one is asking him to change his style of play, to be quieter, smaller. they defend him and jump in if he’s in trouble (even if he’s not in trouble).

they joke with him, laugh with him, have nothing but great things to say about him, sometimes not even related to how many goals he scored or assists he made or points he has, but just how great a person they find him. matthew knows his team has his back and in turn he can give over all of himself to them. and look how far they got as a team when everyone feels supported by the other and has trust in each other. not to be extra corny, but i think the power of friendship has really sorta propelled this team to where they are. not to say they haven’t been playing great hockey, because clearly they wouldn’t be where they are if they didn’t have the skill or all the technical components.

i think the tumultuous regular season they had really tested the new florida panthers identity and it was either going to make or break them. their ability to adapt as a team, to grind and work hard as a team, having the gall to believe in themselves when everyone thought they had no business being in the playoffs, all that comes down to trusting what they’ve worked all season to establish. and yeah, sometimes hosting a team dinner is a seemingly inconsequential thing that helps with that.

[shigayokagayama]

sorry maybe one day ill stop being mad about how the anime adapted the confession arc but today is not the day because im stuck thinking about how much of a blunder it was not to include this page

because like. to me this was the thing that defined my reading of this arc. this was the moment that made me go "oh, this isn't mob unconsciously doing this, this is someone else"

so then when you read through the rest of it you share mob's frustration. why are all these people treating this thing like it's mob? this isn't mob. this is some dangerous entity puppeting his body and hurting people! mob would never do this!

and then

oh.

oh.

this is mob.

this is mob as much as the teru who nearly killed someone who refused to fight back just because they didnt share his worldview is teru. this is mob as much as the ritsu who hurt dozens of people weaker than him just because he could is ritsu. this is mob the way the reigen who lied to him for years is reigen.

the part of you that lashes out and hurts people when you're scared or hurt or frustrated isnt some other scary thing that you have to control.

it's just you.

but people still love you.

[winepresswrath]

sudden yearning for time travelling teen jiang fengmian lands at lotus pier fic that winds up being about a perfectly nice kid having a varying series of "oh no. i don't like that. that's a lot" reactions.

[thefrogdalorian]

Sanctuary

Din Djarin x GN!Reader

Summary: It's one of those days when your emotions threaten to overwhelm you. Despite the horrible day you're having, you try your best to keep it together. A feat you manage, until a certain Mandalorian arrives home and takes you into his arms. Word Count: 1.2k ✯ Rating: General ✯ Content Warnings: Descriptions of anxiety/panic attack ✯ Author's Note: Seeing these gifs the other day broke something in my brain and this little fic was the result. I hope this gets you through a day when you really need a hug from Din Djarin 💕 ✯ My Masterlist ✯

On the days when your stomach churned and you were too upset to vocalise the war that waged within yourself, you were grateful to have someone in your life who seemed to know exactly what you needed. There was no doubt that Din understood you better than you understood yourself. It was unsurprising, given how meticulous and attentive he was in everything he turned his hand to.

You had been in each other's lives for some time, yet you still found yourself pleasantly surprised each time he shared such care towards you. You never doubted Din's kind heart once you got to know him, but you were nonetheless astonished by the multitudes he contained. It was astounding how tender and caring the man, who had gained such a fearsome reputation throughout the galaxy as a ruthless bounty hunter, actually was beneath his cold, hard beskar. 

It was early in the morning when Din had left through the door and your stomach tied itself into knots as you heard his heavy footprints gradually fade into the distance. The sound indicated that you were now alone with your thoughts. Throughout the day, you had pushed your emotions to the deepest depths inside yourself. You had been trying to kid yourself, in his absence, that you could survive the day without breaking down. You told yourself over and over that if you could just make it until Din returned and then put on a brave face when he walked through the door, you would have survived the day without dissolving into pieces. The last thing you wanted was for Din to see how upset you were. The fear that you were weighing him down with your troubles or somehow holding him back from achieving greater things was omnipresent. Even though he had never given you a reason to fear such a thing, you were constantly terrified of being seen as a burden to him.

The familiar heavy footsteps grew louder; their rhythmic, even quality indicated they could belong to only one man. You took a deep breath and attempted to steady your racing heart, preparing yourself to keep it together upon Din's return.

The second you saw his figure in the doorway, you knew it was a lost cause. At the sight of the familiar outline of beskar shining in the entryway, you immediately knew that there was no way that you would be able to maintain your composure. You stood up immediately, rising off the chair you had been sitting on as you waited for him, to greet the man who owned your heart entirely. Instead of racing towards him as usual, you found yourself suddenly overcome with apprehension. Your steps faltered with uncertainty as you walked towards him on shaky legs, feeling your ability to stay strong evaporate just from laying eyes upon him. 

Din held his arms out to you without hesitation, beckoning you to come close to him.

“Come here, cyare,” Din whispered as you stepped into his orbit, his voice gravelly, “Let me hold you.”

As you closed the distance between you and Din to rest your head in the crook of his neck, you caught a glimpse of his mudhorn pauldron, glinting despite the low light of the cabin. Despite how terrible you felt, the ghost of a smile passed across your lips as you noticed the signet was so distinctively Din. Stepping into his arms felt like you were returning to safety. To your home.

You rested your head in the crook of his neck and nuzzled into his rough cowl, enjoying his familiar scent. It was musky and masculine, but not overbearing. You detected a faint hint of perspiration mixed with the floral scent you knew lingered on his skin thanks to the bottle of liquid he lathered across his tan skin in the 'fresher each morning. Din’s chestplate was firm against your body. Initially, you recoiled at the slight chill from the beskar, discernible even through your layers of clothing. Once you had adjusted to the temperature and new sensation, though, you felt nothing but warmth when you were in his arms.

As Din held you close and his hands rubbed comforting circles into your back with one strong arm holding you tightly around the waist, you appreciated the way your bodies fit together. It was as you were admiring how you seemed to be made for each other that you noticed how Din had wrapped his cape around your shoulders to further cocoon you into him. As though he was protecting you from all of the hurt that lingered outside of the sanctuary of his arms. From whatever was troubling you. There was no intense questioning, no expectations for answers. Only safety, love and understanding from a man who wanted to help you through your very worst days.

Something about nuzzling into Din’s neck and the care he had taken to raise your spirits rendered you speechless. You were overcome with emotion, powerless to stop the tears which started falling down your cheeks. At first, it was a solitary droplet, but then you couldn’t help yourself as more and more tears slipped from your eyes. 

At the first sound of your sniffles, Din pulled away from you. You felt your stomach drop in panic, momentarily afraid that you had upset him somehow. You looked up at him and felt the embarrassment settle somewhere low in your stomach, a physical symptom of the mortification you felt at your outburst. Then came the shame. You were dismayed that you had lost control of your emotions in such a way. Evidence of your loss of composure was evident in the reflection of your face in his helmet. You watched as your expression grew increasingly more distraught and felt your chest heaving as the panic rose within you, upset at your emotional state.

Fortunately, Din was nothing but understanding and caring. Before your thoughts could spiral anywhere darker, he began to use his soft leather gloves against your cheeks to dry the tears that were burning hot trails down your skin. It distracted you from your anguish, his tender touch providing instant comfort.

You relished the contact and melted into his embrace. Between his hand that lingered on your cheek, while the other rubbed your back and ensured his cape still swaddled you, your mood was instantly calmer. Din brought you back into his shoulder and returned his hands to your back, rubbing up and down as he held you close. You wrapped your arms around his waist, relishing the small contact you gained with the warmth of his flesh between the hard plates of his beskar. You stayed like that for a few more minutes, feeling your anguish dissipate with each second that Din held you.

Eventually, your breathing evened out and returned to a less frantic pace. Sensing that his embrace had had the intended effect on your fragile emotional state, Din pulled away once again and brought his hands to cup your jaw gently.

“How are you feeling now?” he rasped as he stroked your cheeks with his gloved thumbs. 

“Being in your arms always makes me feel better,” you smiled.

“I’d hold you for the rest of my days if you only asked me to, cyare,” Din vowed with a nod of his helmet. 

You smiled then, enjoying the way your face lit up with a smile and how your eyes had regained their sparkle thanks to the tight embrace of your attentive Mandalorian; your sanctuary.

[jouyato]

I have not finished the game yet (a single route takes so long!!!!) but I have brainworms abt these two so have some good old AU fanart

[ozlices]

i. i just. i just think. i just think that. i just think that oz vessalius. [clenches fist and just starts sobbing from affection]

[flamboyant-king]

Hey babes, sorry I've been dead, but I coulda been literally dead if I had not gone.

I didn't hurt myself and we're still figuring things out. I would love to share but I've already forgotten what I've learned. I hope I get more guidance and time for healing and learning on how to lead my life in a better direction than where I was. But that takes time and effort.

I hope to get some rest, get some support, and get it together. But right now, I don't think it's healthy for me to worry about art in the way I do now. I may not express it here, but trying to maintain my art endeavors/projects while there's so much bullshit going on backstage is not helping me. Especially since I'm not even obligated to do so. But trying to force myself to do something I am currently unable to do will just make me feel worse. I'll follow my dreams and passions one day, but I've been putting off the healing process for years.

So I guess it's better to get better now so I can get the ball rolling again. Why drive on a flat tire?

[conanssummerchild]

ok my thoughts are barely coherent rn my brain is just a puddle of sludge and i have pulled out this thought, but like picture this, a fic where after troy leaves on the boat, abed gets visited by evil abed and evil abed tells him that his timeline (the darkest timeline) was the one where troy leaves to get the pizza and like now that troys gone from the prime timeline whats preventing everything from going to shit and abed from going crazy (only accentuated by the fact that this is happening in his mind and im pretty sure abed is aware of this) and um idk does this make any sense i need help

[secretsimpleness]

Whale whale whale... all the way to Attika. And back. (my favourite bug) Part 1/4 Assassin’s Creed Odyssey (c) Ubisoft

[the-nefarious-vampire]

neurotypicals are so weird. like yeah im sorry that our voices and the scraping of cutlery are physically painful to you but unfortunately its rude to wear headphones at the table :/ yeah i know you can still hear us but it looks like you cant which is rude. its like you're blocking us out. why are you still pressing the issue. why are you being so difficult just take the headphones off before i take them off for you. why cant you just exhibit basic human decency. what do you mean im being ableist.

actually i said neurotypicals bc this post is specifically about spd/autism (both neurological disabilities) but ive never met a single disabled person who insisted i remove a sensory aid out of this all-important need for good manners. its too loud and it hurts. my pain is more important than these ridiculous, made-up social rules. stop clutching your pearls when an autistic person wears headphones to dinner. you're being rude to us.

[ozimaniac]

Can you feel the lightning covering your skin? It's a nightmare but you're on fire.

[This is about an autistic shutdown]

[soldier-poet-king]

Debating bringing back this look??? Probs shorter in the sides and a lil shaggier on the top so my lil curly waves can form? Is it just my need for dramatic change?? Probably but still??? Am I gonna be doing the chop->grow into a lob->chop circuit until I die??

[heuimagines]

Autism4Autism relationship w Adam Raki ...

He's really good at helping u during meltdowns as long as he's not also melting down, he doesn't have to imagine and hypothesize what ur feeling bc it's smth he also experiences!!

he asks simple yes/no questions-can you speak, is touch ok, do you want time alone, etc. you get to borrow his communication cards if u don't have ur own/have urs on u.

he'd pull up information about your hyperfixes and spinterests to read to you while u calm down. “Oh, did you know that — ? I’m sure you already did, but that’s really cool.”

lil bonus but I can't stop imagining going 🫵 🫶at him while nonverbal …

—🫀

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[rileylastname]

extreme sensitivity and difficulty adapting to change is one of the most challenging parts of being autistic (to me, i am only speaking my for myself here, every single autistic person is different). small changes, even positive changes are liable to cause a meltdown. the world is such a scary place when you know that things changing, as all things do, could send you into a spiral. and it’s so difficult to explain to allistics why we’re reacting the way that we do, especially when you know it seems like an overreaction... but this is how i describe it:

you know that feeling when you got a haircut that you hated and were doing everything you could to hold back the tears? that “oh no oh no oh no” moment when you look in the mirror and realize you hate how it looks, and now there’s a sob bubbling up in your throat and you’re trying so hard to choke it back down so that you don’t cry in public but the more you look the harder it feels to bottle it all in?

i feel and often react that way to everyday situations and changes. i cut my nails a little bit shorter than I’m used to? meltdown. or we got a new toaster to replace the old one? meltdown. or my phone updated and everything is different? meltdown and now i can’t stop crying! (these are all real examples of real things from my real life that caused me to have real meltdowns btw.) and in the midst of my stress i can’t help but berate myself for losing it over something like that, and of course shame and self-loathing only exacerbate the meltdown.

i am constantly trying to work through my internalized ableism about this. I spent years being called dramatic and immature, confused about why i was unable to grapple with things my peers found entirely inconsequential. i wish that i didn’t feel guilty or embarrassed about the way that i naturally react to stressful situations (especially situations that are probably not nearly all that stressful to allistics) because I know that if I could hate myself into becoming someone I liked better, it would have worked by now.

[doonarose]

Ohhh I had a dark, miserable moment there for a second. Weekend down to see my family was fine. I was mildly annoyed that when I arrived Friday night it morphed from my expectation - most of Saturday with my sister because it was her birthday and she always wants big birthday stuff, and then big family roast lunch sunday wit my mum and sister (new mother) and grandmother and like ten of us - to a reality I think they purposely didn't tell me about because I might have begged off - breakfast at the farmer's market with sister on saturday and then off to watch the most dismal game of sportsball with my dad saturday night (mostly because him and my mum are bickering and she wanted some time alone and he's lonely and wanted someone to whine to), and then roast lunch just with my parent's sunday.

Like honestly, the shitshow that is work, I might have had the guts to say: sorry, I'm not gonna drive three hours down for that, I'm going to use my weekend to recover and prepare.

But whatever, it was mostly fine. My parents are bickering, they've always bickered, but it's become a running joke that they're increasingly using me as their marriage counsellor and that's kind of fucked up.

But it also meant I'm wiped from the weekend which I cannot be because I have more teaching this weekend, and the ongoing trudge into the death of the academic sector and all of society to face, and I'm coordinator five evening events which brings science to the community (and many of my speakers are being fuckwits and we also haven't sold any tickets because society is fucked). All of which I think I'd have well in hand.

And then I got roped in to doing a live to air radio interview tomorrow morning. And all those tiktoks you see about people who have severe anxiety about talking on the phone, or talking at all, and planning out and practicing every interaction, and utter mortification and lifelong scarring for every misstep... I think that's me.

I remember when I was in grade 3 (9 yers old), I assumed the past tense for extinct was extunct and the librarian (sorry I know most of you are chill af) laughed at me in front of the whole class and I relive that weekly!

Anyhow, thing is I have more anxiety about letting people down or the perception of failure so I have developed coping skills for the terror of speaking in public but it is 100% bubbling up right now and the dogs were out the back barking and I was screaming at them and they did not care and I just wanted to burst into tears.

Anyway... marginally better now. Radio interview is at 8am. Another fucking class I'm not prepped for is at 9am. I'm going to try to switch off my brain, get up at 6am and just Be Ready.

I just hate that I'm not wired for this shit. I hate it.