#babygirl you are so strange and unsettling

[lenreli]

TOM STURRIDGE as TOM

Remainder (2015)

[ghcstcd]

babygirl, you are so strange and unsettling

[theyhavetakenovermylife]

Babygirl imma need some more 2003 fast forward Dark Donnie pwease (preferably fluff with maybe slight angst)

Abyssal Emotions (Angst/Fluff)

Dark Donatello x reader

A/N: Babygirl? I haven’t been called that in a looong time. But if you wish for more Dark Donnie, you shall get it!🖤 It might have gotten a little more angsty than planned, but I still think it’s pretty cute💜

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With his and his brothers’ new life in Cody’s penthouse, Dark Donatello starts to experience many strange and confusing feelings whenever you’re around.

Warnings: Deep and confusing feelings.

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In the bustling metropolis of New York, the city streets were alive with vibrant neon colors of the street signs and the hum of machinery. Deep within the technological haven, hidden away from prying eyes, the dark turtles and their friends continued their new lives. Being freed from Darius Don, the dark turtles had been offered work by president Bishop, and given housing in Cody’s penthouse. It was a new and peaceful way of living. None of them ever had to fight over food, nor fear any punishment from their new master. It was the type of life that none of them ever thought they would be able to get. It was a wonderful life, better than any of them could ask for. Yet, within the heart of the penthouse, something far more complex was unraveling.

You, a close friend to the original turtles and now the dark turtles, had always shared a unique bond with Donatello. Back when the penthouse used to be the home of the turtles from the past, you would often spend time with Donnie in his lab, working away on whatever project he had going on. But with Dark Donnie, it was quite different.

Just like the man he was a clone of, Dark Donnie often found himself in the lab, working on his own projects. And you did just like you used to when the original turtles lived in the penthouse; you went into the lab to help Donnie with whatever he had going on. But while the original Donnie would had welcomed you into the lab with a big smile and a warm greeting, before telling you about what he had going on. Dark Donnie on the other hand, always looked somewhat confused whenever you walked into the lab. Maybe even slightly annoyed. It was as if he didn’t actually wanted anyone to be in the lab with him, yet he never told you to leave, or tried to get you out. Instead he would keep a slight distance from you, always making sure to have you in his line of view. You obviously found that a little odd, but you never spent too much time thinking about that. Dark Donnie and his brothers had been through a lot, and you figured that he was still getting used to having you around. But unbeknownst to you, Donnie was grappling with feelings that were both foreign and unsettling.

Dark Donnie liked and hated having you around. Whenever you were around him, he felt something. Something he knew wasn’t very kanabo like. He figured it came from his turtle side. He cursed his DNA source for having so many unnecessary feelings, that only served to get in the way of his work, and made him hyper aware of everything you did around him.

Late one night, you found yourself alone in the penthouse’s dimly lit common area, with the newest holographic best seller. The soft glow of computer screens reflected off the metallic surfaces, creating an otherworldly ambiance. Little did you know, Dark Donnie was watching you from the shadows. He had not been able to sleep, finding his thoughts circling around the unfinished machine sitting in the lab, just waiting for him to finish it. But as soon as he saw you on the couch, hologram page in hand and concentration on your face as you read, all thought about machines disappeared, making Donnie stop in his tracks, just staring at you.

His heart raced as he observed you, your every movement etching a vivid picture in his mind. It was then that he began to acknowledge the unfamiliar emotions swirling within him – a mixture of longing, warmth, and an unspoken desire. The complexity of a strange feeling. A concept he did not fully understand yet, but still it haunted him day in and day out.

Unable to bear the weight of his emotions any longer, Dark Donnie emerged from the shadows, revealing himself to you. If anybody knew what he was feeling, it must be you. It was you that had caused them, and you knew the source of where he got the capability to feel these things. It was only logical. It made sense. You had to know the answers he was looking for.

His eyes, usually cold and calculating, betrayed a hint of vulnerability as he spoke in a low, gravelly voice. "I need to talk to you".

“Okay”, you smiled back at him, causing his heart to leap once more. There it was again. And it only kept going as he watched you turn off the hologram and scoot over, tapping on the couch as a sign for him to sit down.

Dark Donnie poured his heart out to you. He confessed the turmoil within him, the struggle to reconcile his logical mind with the newfound emotions that threatened to consume him. And how it confused him. At times it even scared him. He could lose track of the whole world around him with his feelings, and it terrified him. Yet, for some strange reason, he liked the feeling. Even though it at times caused him immense stress, it also seemed to lighten up the world around him. Causing adrenaline to pump through his veins. It was an addicting feeling, and that scared him. He did not know what this was, and he could already feel himself craving more of it.

You listened attentively, realizing the gravity of his confession. The angst within him was palpable, but so too was the undeniable connection he felt towards you, even if it wasn’t apparent to him yet. In that moment, you made a choice – to help him navigate the complexities of these feelings. The complexities of love.

Donnie was startled to say the least, when you told him what these feelings was called. He got uncomfortable. His fingers moved as if they did not know what to do with themselves. Turtle clone or not, Kanabos did not feel love for what wasn’t Kanabo. And you, a human, was most definitely not Kanabo.

“It’s okay, Donnie”, you said, placing a hand on Donatello’s uneasy fingers, causing his eyes to snap towards you. Affectionate touches was not common for him and his brothers. They never hugged, and they must suddenly never laid a hand upon another when comforting them. But yet, he liked the feeling of your hand against his. It made his fingers calm in their movement, feeling the warmth of your skin against his. “You’re a living being. And most living beings feel these things”.

“How do I make it go away?”, the kanabo clone asked. “Sometimes it feels like standing in the sun for too long. It is hot, and I just want to hide in the shadows, but…” He paused for a moment, looking at your fingers, before he dared curling his hand around yours, his big claw-like hands careful against your small soft ones. “... It is also nice…”

“Do you really want it to go away?”, you asked, your thumb stroking his hand. You could see the effect your soft touch had on the tall turtle, as he slowly sunk in his posture, finally giving in and relaxing at the feeling of your thumb on his skin.

“No”. He once again focused on your hand in his. “But can I control it?”

“To a degree”, you answered, watching as Donnie turned to you with a questioning look. He wanted to know how. “You give in”.

“Kanabos doesn’t give in”, he huffed, turning his gaze away.

“What about those that are part Kanabo?” You placed your other hand on his arm, causing him to look at you once more. “You have to remember your other half”.

Donnie sat for a moment, thinking about your words. You were right. He knew it. He couldn’t keep walking around and ignore his other half. “How do I give in?”

“Do you trust me?”, you asked with a sincere look in your eyes.

Donnie didn’t have to think about the answer. He started nodding before he even was aware of it. “Yes”.

You sat up, so your knees were digging into the couch, bringing you to the same height as Donatello. He almost forgot to breathe once he realized how close to him you were. As your hands found his face, your small touches on his cheeks made his head spin. So far, he did not feel any control, but he could not deny how much he liked it.

He did not know what to do when you leaned in closer, your face so close he could feel your breath against his face. But for some reason he liked it. Instinctively reaching out to hold your shoulder, holding you close as your lips met his. Donnie could not explain the feeling inside of him. It was as if all the pain and confusion he had felt disappeared, only to leave back a feeling of happiness and content. Unconsciously his arms wrapped around you, pulling you even closer. You pulled from the kiss with a giggle, wrapping your arms around his neck, so you could watch his face.

“Are you feeling better now?”, you asked, a bright smile shining onto Donnie’s face.

“Much better”, Dark Donnie smiled, showing off his white sharp teeth. “But can we do it again?”

“We can do it as often as you like”, you smiled, leaning your face closer to him once more.

“Much better”, he hummed, before catching your lips once more. From now on, he would look forward to every moment with you in the lab.

[the-gentleman-pining]

Decided to rewatch OFMD S2 eps 1-3 and actually jot down my thoughts as I go! Oh what fun! Ngl this is mostly for me babes but if you enjoy it that's neat ❤️

Episode 1: Impossible Birds

Stede bearded in his dream could just be playing to swashbuckling archetypes for funsies, but is it some lingering wish that he was more masculine?

Con O'Neil truly graceful about it with the sword huh

"WHERE IS HE. WHERE'S ED?" Stede seeing Izzy as the thing that is keeping Ed from him when he's the one that left lol ok

His idealised version of Ed doesn't hold him accountable either. My mans doesn't want to face what he did at all!!

His first words to Ed in his letter are reassuring him that the crew are safe, as if he doesn't remember that Ed marooned them and left them for dead on purpose??

I know it's meant to be funny but Jackie was a bit of a sex pest toward Swede at first and the power dynamic was a bit 🫤 Glad he was into it in the end!

WHY DOES WEE JOHN SLAM THE HEAD OF THE ONE WHO GOT STABBED INTO THE TABLE INSTEAD OF THE ONE WHO STABBED THEM?? 😂

Stede truly is unphased by people being assholes to him and I just,,, respect it.

Ricky your vibes are strange and unsettling

Who in their right mind would have an ocean wedding in the golden age of piracy?? I know they probs didn't know it was the golden age of piracy while they were in it but STILL

Ed looks so dead behind the eyes 😭 Just going through the motions eh buddy?

Dressed up like the book Blackbeard I see. God he's trying so hard to inhabit this character.

I would die for Archie. Truly the himbo we need in these depressing angst riddled times.

Jim asking someone else how they're bottling things up?? Hello?? Who are you and what have you done with Jim?? Aren't you the bottling up Master? Olu bewitched you too good and now you've unlocked Feelings 😔

"He's actually a good guy" Stede babygirl did we actually forget the marooning???

I have so much I could say about how Izzy and Blackbeard's relationship has deteriorated hhhhh,,,, Izzy is a problem child but I'm so glad the story is crashing towards his character actually growing and changing. In season 1 he at least got the crumbs Ed would throw him like "I need you here", now he's only getting abuse and maybe he's throwing himself at it because he recognises he had a part to play in reaching this point and believes he deserves it.

Fang's delivery on "how you doing Izzy" will keep me warm and fed all winter. Masterclass in approaching someone, truly tender and genuine but not too pressuring. God.

That second "unhand me" hhh the panic of realising you're going to start crying if the situation continues

Con is gonna rip my heart out and eat it this season if I'm not careful

Labour exploitation Jackie what a girlboss x

Why does "you'll be having a lot of breakfastseses together" sound so ominous though 😭 Smeagol Jackie my worstie...

Stede doing Blackbeard Voice is adorable but damn he really doesn't believe that he made Ed's life better. Like how??? Why doesn't Stede equate happiness with better? Ed was explicitly happier around you ya dingus!

Swede deserves his married bliss so much. The crew can be so mean to him!!

"What am I to you" and "I have... love for you" are said so softly I'm gonna be sick,, Izzy you fucked it by wrestling this man into this particular coping mechanism and your tenderness is coming wayyyy too late. Heartbreaking tbh cause the guy didn't know how else to help Ed and now he's realising it could have been different. Sick and twisted little dynamic I'm eating it like good soup.

Definitely supposed to be taken that Izzy didn't realise "talk it through" was a Stedeism as he said it but godddd you idiot dude

Once again god bless you Archie I'd die for you

Fang I want to rescue you hhhhhh my hot topic fashionista must be so dehydrated from all these tears!!!

No way in hell Ed expected anything else out of Izzy's mouth than something about Stede, but god I wish the guy had just payed attention to Frenchie shaking his head. The catharsis of saying the quiet part out loud wasn't worth your leg, man.

"Start by cleaning up that mess"... yeah we def see Ed is killing people himself again but outsourcing the Big Job on Izzy makes sense. He's also exactly the kind of self sabotager atm that would know Frenchie won't do it, and he's looking for reasons to Be Worse.

Indigo heist my beloved. Fuck those hammies up!! I love how loud Black Pete was omg 😂

Oh fuck off Ricky I know you're a S1 Stede mirror but you're doing it detestably

Roach why is your instinct to immediately put the blue dirt on your face darling

Zheng Yi Sao completely unphased by Jackie is giving me so much delight

Sexy Dutchman 😭😂 Jackie never change

I love that Zheng Yi Sao is taking the whole crew on just to have her lil Olu moment, get it girl

TENDER JIM IM SO HAPPY FOR THEM THEY'VE COME SO FAR. I LOVE THEIR BIG SMILE 😭 (also Archie is so wholesome what is she DOING here???)

Ed oh my god you're not alright at ALL

Frenchie's quiet "sounds like a plan" is just so... painful. The acting this season is off the charts.

When Roach asked if they were in soup now I thought he was referring to the ocean as soup I'm an idiot 😭

[everything-under-ctrl]

‘meet me behind the church in the alley’

babygirl you are so strange and unsettling

[parkerthejester]

Who is the most babygirl in Bungou Bungou? -Pookie <3

You’re getting a long winded answer to this, so lets go through the contestants

Warning! Slight BSD Manga and Anime spoilers

We’re only using ADA and PM characters for this for the sake of my sanity. We’ll go through a quick rundown to eliminate some of the people from the running based on the following criteria. Remember, babygirl is a state of mind and has nothing to do with gender or age, instead a babygirl usually has these contributing factors

- morals

- cat attributes

- bloodied

- tragic

- tired

Now for the characters who are not babygirl

- Kenji

- Kyouka

- Oda

- Mori

- Tanizaki

- Naomi

- Kunikida

- Gin

- Kouyou

- Motojiro

- Q

- Hirotsu

And for our runners :

- Dazai

- Atsushi

- Chuuya

- Ranpo

- Akutagawa

- Tachihara

- Yosano

- Fukuzawa

To thin out the running we’ll go through our criteria for each of these characters and why they are or are not babygirl enough for our purposes. We’ll pick the three top babygirl characters and move from there.

Dazai fits our criteria almost to a T. He’s strange and unsettling, he’s morally (dark) grey, he does the asshole cat smirk, and he’s tragic. In the manga and the show he doesn’t get bloodied very often, and he isn’t shown to be tired in the way that really makes or breaks a babygirl character

Atsushi is lower on my list than I’d like to admit, as I love him dearly and he’s my babygirl at heart. He gets bloodied often (and he looks great doing it, might I add) but where the evil would exist in a babygirl character he’s pathetic instead, which is a babyboy character trait. He has plenty of cat attributes and he’s plenty tragic, though I wouldn’t say he’s tired in the babygirl way. (Side note, Beast!Atsushi is DEFINITELY the winner of the babygirl category for me, but we’re focusing on the main story here)

Chuuya has got a lot going for him in the babygirl categories. He’s a little bit evil, at the very least morally grey, he’s tragic, and he’s only just barely earned his babygirl-tired title. He’s unfortunately lacking in cat attributes, and though he doesn’t get bloodied as much as I’d like for my purposes the use of corruption fills that slot.

Ranpo is a grey area for me in terms of babygirl-ness. He isn’t bloodied often (a running theme with the smarter of the babygirls) but he does have the cat smirk that Dazai has which gives him cat attributes. He’s morally grey, and he’s relatively tragic (though, compared to some of the other babygirls not so much). He’s not babygirl tired, either.

Akutagawa is really up there for me in these criteria. He’s morally grey, deeply tragic, and the epitome of babygirl tired. He gets bloodied pretty often which is so great for my purposes, but he’s lacking in cat attributes in canon. You can argue for fanon a lot but the most canon attributes he has is that he’s aloof even if he likes you.

Tachihara is one of my personal babygirl takes, he’s relatively tragic and he’s morally (light) grey (and he’s a double agent which is like the most babygirl thing ever). He doesn’t have any cat attributes and he’s not babygirl tired but he does get a little bloodied but only once which is pushing it for the babygirl scale

Yosano is so real and amazing and beautiful and perfect. Shes morally grey which is part of her being tragic, she gets bloodied often (part of her ability) which is so great. She isnt a super cat-like character and she’s not babygirl tired but she is a secret third thing (my favorite character in the series) which bumps her up a little bit.

Fukuzawa has the extra babygirl treat of having seventeen kids. He isn’t the babygirl level of tragic that I usually look for but he is the embodiment of babygirl levels of tired so he has that going for him. He’s pretty morally grey and he has what I like to call “old street cat” attributes, but we don’t see him bloodied often.

Based off these analyses I’ve narrowed it down to the following characters :

- Atsushi

- Dazai

- Yosano

From this running now I’ll be looking at how they look and how they act. This includes fashion choices, hair choices, and how they treat the people around them.

Atsushi definitely dresses the most like a babygirl. He wears suspenders on top of a white button down with a tie and NO VEST. And he’s got the stupid flood pants with the flared boots, he just makes horrendous fashion choices which is so babygirl of him. Not to mention the atrocious haircut, horrible really. However the way he interacts with people (outside of Akutagawa, of course) is more babyboy than it is babygirl.

Dazai is just on the cusp of babygirl clothing. The bandages really add to his look, but what really makes it for me is the full trenchcoat in all weather. Babygirl behavior. The way he interacts with others is also very babygirl, seeing as he’s an ass and I want to beat him to death and also hold him gently in my hands (the typical reaction to babygirl character).

Yosano doesn’t dress babygirl pretty much at all (she dresses relatively boring and they should have given her more because she deserves it) but the way she interacts with others is so very babygirl its nuts. Absolutely bonkers.

FINAL ANSWER THAT YOU’VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR : The most babygirl character in all of Bungou Stray Dogs is the one and only Dazai Osamu. He’s the perfect balance on most babygirl scales as well as personality, social interactions, and clothing choices.

If you actually read all this thank you and drink some water or something idk

[crycowboy-moved]

why is being alive so embarrassing. sitting alone in my room making silly art and listening to my stupid podcasts while my inner voyeur is pointing and laughing "look at this little freak!"

[princess-fuckrosa]

Can I please get NSFW headcanons on zen and innocent mc's first time? But the MC isn't overly innocent where she's blushing a lot and being overly shy, its just that she is young and inexperienced and is a virgin, if that makes sense .. zen is her first bf ... thank you 💗 sorry for my english😭

I’m so sorry you had to wait this long anon, please forgive me D: It turned out longer and more detailed than I expected it, but damn, I’m proud :D I hope you like it anon! <3 And your English is just fine, don’t worry!

So, as you requested, smut under the cut!

First time with Zen

I think I have to warn you, but getting to the point where you actually have your first time, it takes FUCKING FOREVER. Don't get him wrong, he wants you so bad, but at the same time, he's a gentleman. His thoughts are running wild, like always, but he really wants to take his time with you, especially when he realized that you are incredibly innocent.

And oh boi, that's what made him more and more flustered with the situation. He started to think about if it's even a good idea to open the gates of lustful heaven for you, he loved that you are so pure, so wholesome, it almost made him tear up every time. 

So, if you are not up for taking the first steps yourself, then be prepared for a long wait. And I mean months, or even half a year, it really depends on the situation, so if you get to see him quite often and you have multiple sleepovers and stuff in a short time, then it's a little bit faster.

He's so nervous. He wants you to feel good, he wants everything to go perfectly, and with that mindset, he is just a nervous wreck. He thought he is prepared for this for weeks now, but when he actually called you that day to spend a night with him at his place, he just felt his hands get sweaty as you picked up the phone.

Zen is a romantic soul. He prepared your favorite meal, bought some fancy wine and chocolates, and secretly decorated the bedroom with rose petals and candles. If it's not your thing, then sorry. But hey, when you two get to that part, you won't even notice anything else besides him...

After dinner and some cuddling and snack time on the couch, he kissed you, and as the kiss got deeper and deeper, you felt his heart race so much more than anytime before. His thoughts are all about you - what do you think will happen next? Do you have any idea how good he will make you feel? Are you aware that he's preparing so slowly, day by day, week by week for you, just for you? He knows the answer, you probably not. And his heart aches again. Is he really worthy to lead you to paradise? He tries his best to not overthink the situation, and let go all of his worries, to concentrate only on you. But damn, it's so hard, especially with you in his arms, flushing against his cheeks, making those little sounds, even just breathing beneath his chest.

He grabs your hand so lightly, but his gentle grip is telling you to follow him. He leads you to the bedroom, and suddenly he is not sure if he should tell you what he thinks. That he will take care of you, not just now, but for the rest of your lives... That he will do everything possible to make you feel like never before...

But as soon as he sees your sparkling eyes, your beautiful lips parting as a small gasp leaves your mouths in adoration as you see the room and the decoration, he's gone.

He almost feels the beast crawling up from his deepest parts of his soul, but he shoves him down. His all instincts, but not animalistic. Suddenly, he doesn't need to think about anything.

The next minute, you don't even know how it happened so fast, but you are laying on the bed, with your gorgeous boyfriend on top of you, his lips all over your neck, your jawline... And for a moment, you feel unable to react. Not because you don't like the feeling, because fuck, you like it so bad, but it's just... Strange, unknown, and even a little bit unsettling. You never saw Zen like this before.

He feels you freeze under him, so he stops for a moment, only to gaze deeply into your eyes.

'I love you, y/n'

And you are done. You're not sure how far he will take things, and honestly, you can't even perceive it, you know that you want to give him everything: your mind, your heart, your soul, your body... Everything he could possibly have, he should have it. You kissed him as a sign to continue, and his lips are on yours in a minute.

Slowly but steadily his hands are under your shirt, but before he takes it off of you, his fingers are seeking for all of your sweet spots, and damn, he sure can puss all of your buttons just right, you suddenly find yourself making sounds you would never ever thought of.

After taking off your shirt, his lips are on your neck again, trailing down to your collarbones, one hand hugging you as the other slowly find it's way to your hips. His lips and tongue reach your sweet valley between your breasts, and at this point, you have no doubt what will happen now. You dig into his white, silky hair, as he takes off your bra. He kisses you again, smuggles his tongue into your mouth as his hand caresses your breast softly. You can't help but buck into his hips, and if you are weren't all red by now, you surely are, as you feel his bulge in his pants. He pulls off from you as he straightens up to take off his own shirt too, and you can't help but stare at his gorgeous figure. He is so incredibly beautiful, you feel your heartache for him. You love him so much.

He also let himself some long seconds to admire your body beneath him, but before you would feel ashamed or embarrassed he frees himself from his pants first, and he does the same with you. If you suddenly feel a little shy, lying beneath him just in your panties, fear not, he would take some more time easing your nervousness with hot kisses and his warm hands trailing up and down on your body.

His fingers finally make his way to your panties, pulling down the fabric he nips a little on your neck, and when you're in your full glory beneath him, he can't help but smile.

'I love you, so, so much, y/n' he whispers into your ears as his soft palm cups your cunt so gently, his fingers working magic with your clit. Your vision goes white as he starts to play on you like an instrument.

You are so wet already, he really just doing it for your sake, he wants you to feel not just good, not just perfectly at this point. He wants you to feel heavenly as he slowly prepares you for the main act.

He carefully slips out of his boxers as he kissing you, taking your breath away. Smooching on your neck, he lines up his member at your entrance, and slowly push into you. He waits for you to adjust, but his lips are never stopping on your neck, he doesn't want you to focus only on the unfamiliar little pain. After some time, when he actually feels you getting impatient beneath him, he starts to move in and out slowly.

For this time, his only goal is to try his best to make you climax, his need for release can wait. 

He whispers all kinds of praises and sweet nothing as he buries his face into your neck. If you would rather just hear his breathing and moans, or you are too embarrassed because of his whispers, feel free to kiss him to shut him up, or else he would actually continue the praises till you both come undone <3 Calling you all kinds of pet names like Princess, Queen, Honey, Babygirl, and everything you can imagine.

As this being your first time, it doesn't take long to feel your muscles starting to tense up as you are not far from your climax, and when it hits you, it's like a strong, incredibly warm wave. You dig your nails into Zen's hair and back, as a moaning and blushing mess, and an instant, he feels his release too.

For several long seconds, you both just breathing heavily, and as your lustful shivering starts to fade, he kisses you again, pampering you for the rest of the evening.

(Please consider that this is my first smut request, I hope I did justice to it :D)

[yu3s]

* for the past week at random intervals i will just think of those like “babygirl you are so weird and unsettling” quotes? “babygirl you are so strange and offputting” etc etc like who is it? who is using my mind as a broadcast system? it certainly isn’t me. not i. not me that’s for sure. and it’s every day too. like who are you trying to contact? why can’t you telepathically speak to the girl of your dreams and nightmares on your own instead using me as a megaphone. why don’t you just text her or something and leave me out of it. 

[bang-tan-bitches]

Title: Immortals - pt 4 Word Count: 5.6k+ Rating: M Genre: Drama, smut, dark fantasy Warnings: language, sexual content Pairings: BTS x Reader/OT7 x reader Summary: Sometimes, you find your destiny. And sometimes, your destiny does whatever it takes to keep you. Written By: A & B

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You can’t believe what you’re about to do.

It’s crazy.

It probably won’t work.

But you have to try.

Earlier that morning your boyfriend had sent you off with a kiss and a wave and a reminder to text him when you got to… where ever it was you were going. The driver had refused to tell you, saying something about safety and discretion and you had rolled your eyes, but gotten in the back of the black sedan with windows tinted so dark, you were surprised you could still see out of them. All you really cared about was getting them out of your head.

Even if that meant seeing them again.

They were never far from your thoughts. You saw them from the corner of your eye when you were awake, and you saw them when you were asleep. Nothing you did was helping. And every night you cuddled close to your boyfriend and shared a passionate embrace, you fell asleep feeling guilty. Guilty knowing you were about to see one of them. Guilty knowing you wanted to see one of them.

The dreams weren't always sexual, but they always offered more…. Sometimes you’d just talk with them - they wanted to know everything about you. Sometimes the dreams were random - you'd just watch them practice for some upcoming performance or be hanging out at some book store or coffee shop. Before you met them, your dreams had always been vague, and, well, dreamlike. But now, your dreams were so vivid you could almost swear they were real. You knew you were in trouble when you started going to sleep earlier and waking up later in an effort to stay in them longer. It also didn’t help that majority of your dreams ended with your legs thrown over broad shoulders and a warm, wet mouth latched onto your cunt. It appeared that in your dreams, the guys had an obsession with burying their faces between your thighs, not that you were complaining… but it meant you woke up every morning shaking, spent, and in need of a shower.

You needed to get over them.

You're jolted out of your thoughts when the car comes to a stop. The door is opened for you before you can even think about getting it yourself, and you step out. Before you can get a proper look around, you're immediately rushed inside a familiar looking building.

You try and dig in your heels once you realize you're in an airport hangar, but the man leading you doesn’t even seem to register your slight resistance. You try not to immediately freak out. Maybe they're shooting the video here. It’s possible, but the way the staff is loading luggage onto the large private jet on the other side of the hangar- you're starting to worry.

“Right this way miss.” The man escorting you says as you exit the other side of the hangar, leading you directly toward the stairs that lead up to the plane.

“They’re just filming here right? All this stuff, it’s props?” You ask, wondering just what the hell you’re going to do if they try and fly you anywhere, or, heaven forbid, out of the country. Though the plane looks too small for international travel, you can admit you don’t really know anything about planes.

He doesn’t answer, just continues to bring you along until you’re directly at the foot of the stairs.

“This is for filming, right?” You ask again, looking up at him and shielding your eyes from the early morning sun glaring off the tarmac. He nods once and you nod in return, not really assured, but ready to get this over with.

You think.

You haven’t seen them yet and can only assume they are on the plane already and out of the sun. You nod again, more to yourself than him, and he releases you, letting you climb up the stairs on your own. You no longer assume they are on the plane, you know they are on the plane the closer you get. The familiar buzz against your skin is back and you hold back a sigh because the feeling was becoming almost comforting rather than unsettling. The door is already open and when you enter the cool dark interior, you blink a few times to let your eyes adjust to the abrupt change in lighting even as you tentatively make your way further inside.  

“Y/N...”

You still can’t quite see him, but you know it’s Jungkook that just whispered your name like a benediction and suddenly, you realize, you aren’t ready. You’re not sure if you’ll ever be. But the way your knees go weak and your core throbs just from the way he says your name, you know you’re in trouble.

“I- I-” you take a step back, ready to run as your eyes finally adjust to see them there before you, looking casual but oh so amazing in their sweats and tshirts. “I have to-” you turn back, only to run directly into Yoongi’s chest and you can’t stop yourself from moaning his name the same way you did only the night before, “Yoongi..”

His arms wrap around you and your skin comes alive. You feel yourself relaxing into his chest, his heart beating steadily under your cheek.

“Please take your seats,” A new voice comes over the intercom, “we are about to start taxiing.”

“Taxi?” You question and giggle a little at the way the words feel soft and seem to cling to the edges of your mouth, “Are we going somewhere?”

“To the filming site babygirl.” Yoongi tells you, arms still holding you securely to his chest even as he walks you backwards. You both stop when the backs of your knees hit the seat. “Just sit here and we’ll be there soon.”

You shake your head a little at his words, but it feels heavy and slow, your thoughts sloshing around in your head, “I can’t go. I have, things…”

“It’s only for today baby. We’ll be back before you know it.” Yoongi tells you as he buckles you into your seat. Your eyelids are heavy, but you fight to keep them propped open when he leans forward and kisses you on the top of your drooping head. “Don’t worry, sleep. We’ll be there soon.”

His deep voice and golden eyes are the last thing you see before you drift peacefully off to sleep.

Yoongi stands upright and looks at his brothers as he gestures at your sleeping form, “Alright, who did this?” He looks at Jin, then Joon, before settling on Hoseok, “Was it you?”

Hoseok rolls his eyes, “No.” when the others continue to look at him skeptically, he narrows his eyes, “It wasn’t!”

Taehyung sighs, drawing their attention, “It was me.”

Yoongi rubs his brow and moves to his seat, he looks once at Hoseok before picking up the glass that appears near his hand, “I think you overdid it a bit Taehyungie.”

A collective breath is released from them all when Yoongi chuckles.

“You saw her hyung. She was ready to bolt. I had to do something.” Taehyung defends himself, not sure if he still needs to, but doing it anyways.

“No, you’re right. I had a feeling she might too.” Yoongi says and takes a sip of his drink.

“Will she be okay?” Jimin asks, moving closer to your side and laying his hand over the spot between your shoulder and neck. The way your head is lolling, the spot is extended, but not exposed, your shirt covering the area.

“She’s just sleeping Jiminie.” Taehyung says, taking a sip out of his own cup then admits, “But I don’t know if she’ll wake up during the flight.”

“If she’s still sleeping, can I carry her to the hotel room?” Jungkook asks from his spot near one of the closed windows. He looks first at Yoongi, then Jin, and stops when he reaches Namjoon who is staring at the back of your chair as if he can see you through the padding and fabric. When he doesn’t answer, Jungkook looks back at Jin and Yoongi.

They share a look and Jin finally nods, “Sure Jungkookie, if she’s still asleep you can carry her in.”

-0-0-0-

Your dreams are vivid and strange.

Over saturated with color and moving too slow and too fast all at once. You see their faces fly past you in a blur, yet they remain before you. Around you. Surrounding you.

Namjoon’s face appears before you, startlingly clear and normal and grounding in the too bright world of your dreams. His mouth is moving - telling you something you know is important. The knowledge pulses through you, filling you, overwhelming you and you’re falling…                                                                                                                                      falling….                                                                                                                                     falling….

“I’ve got you princess. It’s okay. We’ve got you.” Jin’s voice echoes around you, swelling and driving away the dream images that are on the verge of becoming nightmares. “We’ve got you…” his voice is softer now, trailing off and away as his fingers thread through your hair, tilting your head back as his soft soft soft lips find the sensitive skin just under your jaw… “and we’ll never let you go.”

Everything is dark now, but you can still feel fingers running through your hair.

-0-0-0-

You wake up slowly, nuzzling against the warm body pressed against you. Fingers are stroking softly through your hair and you feel so loved and so warm, you don't want to get up.

“Baby?” The deep voice sounds familiar, but in your sleep clouded mind you can't place it.

“Hmm?”

“Baby,” the voice is a little more insistent now, “you should eat something. Are you hungry?”

You shake your head and try to go back to sleep. You hear a chuckle from somewhere in the room and a whisper of ‘fucking adorable’.

You still at the second voice, but you’re too comfortable and groggy and relaxed for the first time in ages to move away just yet. The chest you’ve wrapped yourself around moves up and down as he laughs softly, “Yeah,” he agrees, then uses his hands still tangled in your hair to tilt your head back, “you really need to eat something baby.”

You blink sleepily to see Taehyung’s gorgeous face inches from your own.

“Is this another dream?” You ask, unable to hold back as you press even closer to him. Part of you realizes that this is too much. You’re not ready for this. You can’t be here, with him, in bed, snuggled up like this. But you can’t pull away from the pleasant hum vibrating against your skin and the feeling of belonging that fills you as you remain in his arms.

He leans in and you think he’s going to kiss you. Hope he's going to kiss you. You raise your slightly parted lips to meet his, the move unconscious, but he bypasses them for your forehead. You try and lift your head to meet his lips once more. You’re feeling soft and loving and needy and you mewl slightly in protest when he sighs into your hair and pulls you closer, but ignores your mouth. You feel the bed dip behind you and the two of you shift slightly until your back is pressed against a warm chest. Another arm wraps around you and you’re surrounded, but not suffocating. It feels…

Good.

“Are you really awake this time?” Jimin asks, and you realize he was the one who had spoken earlier as well.

“I don’t know.” You confess. Everything certainly seems to be slightly fuzzy around the edges. One feeling bleeding into another, “Tae never answered me.”

The man in front of you moans slightly when you say his name and heat flashes through you. You bite your lip and arch your back, pressing your chest flush with Taehyung’s and your backside into Jimin’s growing erection. You think you should probably stop, but the desire is too strong. You’ve been with them in your dreams already, and this… this feels so much like the dreams you’ve already had that your body reacts instinctually.

They shift until you’re sandwiched between the two of them and you’re vibrating and you can’t tell if it’s from the energy you always feel around them or the building tension and you know, you know, that it would only take one word, one press of your lips against theirs, one moan, to set you all off and you, you, you…

“You’re not asleep. This isn’t a dream.” Taehyung finally answers, pulling away from you slightly, body stiff. “This isn’t a dream.”

You freeze.

Everything is still warm and lush and the heat…

Jimin moves away as well and you’re grateful. Their hands are still on you, but without them pressed so close, you can think again and you almost wish you couldn't. Because all you can think about is how last time they were this close, you almost gave into them. How you almost wanted them more now. How this was so, so, wrong, but felt so right…

Almost as if they know that you’re thinking about how… inappropriate this is they start speaking.

“We wanted to apologize.” Jimin starts, his hand running along your arm, up and down, up and down, almost hypnotically and you relax a fraction.

“Yes,” Taehyung is quick to agree, “what we did before was… inappropriate given- given everything.”

“And we didn’t know you had a- a person. Thing. Boy.” Jimin stumbles over the words and you can’t help but find it endearing, “It’s just that you’re our-”

“We really like you.” Taehyung cuts him off. “And we don’t want you to avoid us.” He continues.

You tilt your head up enough to see him looking at Jimin behind you.

“Yes. I mean no.” Jimin picks up again, “We don’t want you to avoid us. We want to be…”

“Friends.” Taehyung finishes when Jimin seems to have trouble finding the right word.

“Friends.” You echo, licking your lips to taste the word. Something about it is… wrong. It’s not the right word. But you don’t know what the right word is. You do know that the word leaves a slightly bitter taste in your mouth even as you nod in agreement, “I think we can be friends”

-0-0-0-

You’re still not positive where you are, and you’ve given up asking because every time you do, the nearest staff member shakes their head and mumbles something about ‘disclosing information’ or ignores you completely. The fact that the male staff outright don’t seem to see you would irk you if you weren’t already feeling out of place among the female staff with their side eyes and lingering looks.

Before you had been worried they were just using you, now you weren’t so sure. Maybe they really did want to be friends.

Their behavior certainly had changed. The moment the little red light on the camera turned on, they became the cute, sexy, and fun loving Bangtan Sonyeondan the world loved. Between takes, cameras still rolling, they would come and sit with you and talk. Jimin brought you water as he made small talk and Jin had you laughing so hard, you were clutching your sides and it was nice. It really felt like, well, like hanging out with friends as the late morning turned into afternoon.

You glance at your phone, then back up when you hear them mention the words ‘last take’.

“So we’ll be heading home soon?” You blurt out loudly. The staff says nothing, but you’re not looking at them, you’re looking at Namjoon, waiting to hear his answer. He tilts his head and you think maybe he hasn’t heard your question, “Home? I just-” you hold up your phone and wave it around a little, “- need to let my boyfriend know when to pick me up.”

The words are barely out of your mouth when a wicked and chilling wind suddenly whips up. You blink, thinking you must have missed something. The staff in front of you are staring in awe and… fear at something over your shoulder and you turn slowly, having a feeling you already know what you’re going to find.

There, coming over the water, a large and violent storm is brewing. You gulp almost audibly. The dark clouds are rolling, moving closer at a rapid pace that seems almost unnatural.

“Fuck.” You whisper more to yourself than anyone else, because the storm is coming fast. Too fast. And you already know you won’t make it to the car on the other end of the beach before it hits. Another cold slap of wind has you wrapping your arms around yourself tightly. You should probably try and run, but just like everyone else, you feel glued in place in face of the wonder and terror of nature approaching you.

A large crack of lightning strikes close and you jump back into a warm and sturdy pair of arms. You hadn’t even realized how cold you were until Yoongi’s arms bring you close into his chest. The wind is stronger now and the beach plunges into darkness as the clouds block out the sun. The air positively crackles with power and the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end. Yoongi is tugging you along and you can feel his lips near your ear as he tries to tell you something, but his words are drowned out by a loud boom of thunder.

The sound finally gets you moving and you pull away from Yoongi, facing him, “We have to get off the beach!” You yell, sudden fear making your words come out a little too high. “It’s dangerous!”

He shakes his head and holds out his hand to you, “It won’t hurt you.” His voice is calm. So calm and you’re amazed you can hear it over the next crack of lightning that lights up the beach long enough for you to see everyone scrambling toward the waiting vehicles. Everyone but the eight of you. Jungkook and Hoseok are standing just in front of the others, looking like bastions of peace in the face of the oncoming storm. They are all glowing slightly, surrounded by a beautiful golden halo, one that almost seems to say, ‘come, we are the safe harbor’. You look back at Yoongi and his outstretched hand and then to your own because the men aren’t the only ones who are glowing, you are too.

Your eyes widen.

“Fuck.” You say again and take Yoongi’s hand. Because you know what the glow is now.

Electricity.  

You can feel it surrounding you, and it feels alive.

“We have to go. Now.” You say again and Yoongi smiles as you take his hand.

He turns and pulls you to the others and they surround you instantly, closing you off from the now freezing wind as you all start running toward the waiting SUV. You look past Jungkook at your side to see the curtain of rain approaching and put on a burst of speed, “Please don’t get wet, please don’t get wet, please don’t get-”

Your chant is cut off with a gasp when a sheet of icy rain washes over you. You think you hear one of them laugh, but can’t be sure. All you know is that you’re cold, wet, and you’re not going to be flying home anytime soon.

-0-0-0-

“So, I guess you won’t be coming home tonight?” Your boyfriend laughs good naturedly on the other end of the phone and you can’t stop the smile that stretches across your lips in response. You can just hear the sound of the television playing in the background as he watches the news. “This storm is huge.”

You nod along as you pace the same room you had woken up in just hours earlier, “I know, it came out of nowhere too.” You say and smooth a hand down the side of your dress, only wincing slightly at the expensive feel of the fabric, “I was scared.”

He makes a sound of sympathy on the other end, “Well I’m glad you’re safe pretty girl. Just look at this like an impromptu vacation!”  He continues cheerfully, “Take some time to relax and enjoy yourself. You’ve been having all those nightmares recently…” He trails off, real worry in his voice and you feel guilt and shame stirring in your belly, “Maybe a night at a swanky hotel is just what you need. Oh! You should see if they have hot tub. Or a spa. Get a facial or something. Those kinds of places have that right?”

You choke a bit at his word choice and come to a standstill in front of the mirror, “Um, I don’t know? But I’ll find out.” You promise.

“Good. Do. And eat lots of good food for me. Don’t think I haven’t noticed you haven’t been eating as much lately.” You bite your lip, but don’t say anything, “I love you.”

“I-” you try and say the words, but they get stuck in your throat, “Me too.” You say instead, hanging up the phone soon after. You stare at your reflection, wondering who the wide-eyed woman you see there is. Because the woman you know, the one you want to be, wouldn’t feel like saying ‘I love you’ to her boyfriend was the worst form of betrayal against seven men she barely knew.

The knock on your hotel room door is rapid and quiet and you still jump slightly as you tear your gaze away from the floor length mirror.

You look beautiful in the dress that had been laid out on the bed when you returned - soaking and looking more like a drowned rat than a human from the sudden storm. You could only assume one of them had somehow called ahead to have it picked out, since the storm had come out of nowhere and you really should have been on the plane..

Another knock and you realize you had gotten lost looking in the mirror again. You turn away and move quickly to the door, slipping on your shoes as you go. “Sorry I was just- whoa.”

You stop talking.

Stop moving.

You think you might even forget to breathe at the sight of Hoseok standing in front of you in a suit. He looks… dashing and sinful and you have to resist the sudden urge to pull him into the room by the lapels of his coat and press your lips against his as you fall onto the bed.

“I could say the same about you.” He says and smiles, snapping you out of your thoughts. His dark eyes roam your body before settling on your face and you can feel your skin heat pleasantly at the look of desire there. He bows slightly, one hand behind his back, and when he stands upright again, he holds out a deep red rose toward you, “Beauty for a beauty.”

You take the rose without thinking, entranced with the beautiful flower, and bring it closer to your face. You’re not sure how, but it smells like them and you want to bury your nose in it forever. You lower it regretfully and notice the gold on the tips of each petal. It’s looks delicate and fragile, but when you run a finger along it, it’s soft as if it’s part of the petal itself.

“This is gorgeous.” You breathe out, still clutching the rose close.

Hoseok beams at your words and the air around you comes alive. Everything feels lighter, happier. Like anything is possible if you just wish for it hard enough.

“Only the best for you.” He says and holds out an arm, “Shall we go?”

“Wait,” you take a step back and your eyes scan the room as you look for something to put the beautiful flower in. You spot the perfect vase on your second scan of the room, sitting on the corner of the desk where you missed it the first time. You place the flower in the vase, pour some water in it from a bottle in the fridge and smile, “okay, let’s go.”

You slip your arm through Hoseok’s, and he smiles widely and almost blindingly at you as the two of you step out and the door closes behind you.

“So, is there a restaurant here?” You already assume there is, but want to try and make small talk after his beautiful gift. The hotel you’re all staying in for the night is nice. Nicer than any other hotel you’ve ever been in. Dark red plush carpet lines the halls and you can’t help but wonder if the patterns in the wallpaper contain real gold.

“There is,” he says, “but that’s not where we’re going.”

“No?”

He shakes his head, “There are other guests, and even though many of them are… older, the staff is still giving us our privacy. We are in one of the smaller conference rooms.”

“Oh.” You’re not sure what to say to that. It wasn’t that you minded, exactly, but there was a security in being around other people.

You weren’t sure you could be alone with them.

“Jagi?” Hoseok asks, and you realize you’ve stopped in front of a pair of double doors. “Are you ready?”

You look up into his warm, dark eyes, feeling like he’s asking if you’re ready for more than just dinner. He gives you a reassuring smile before opening the doors. The room is smaller than you expected, the glow of candles giving the room a more romantic atmosphere than you would have wanted after your earlier wayward thoughts. One wall is taken up by large windows and you’re treated to a gorgeous view. The dark storm clouds are lighter now, the rain falling softly against the windows and fading into the background.

The men all stand when you enter the room, and your breath catches at the picture they make. You can't help but duck your head to give yourself a moment to school your face. They are gorgeous, dressed in suits and waiting for you. Even though you haven't reached them yet, you know they smell wonderful. Just like the rose. You inhale deeply the closer you get and bite your lip. You weren’t sure what cologne they used, but it was definitely one you hadn’t smelled before, which probably meant it was more expensive than any other cologne you had been around before.

“Wow,” Jungkook breathes as he stares at you “You're always beautiful, but that dress really… Wow.”

You can feel your face heat and you give him a smile, “Thank you Jungkook. You look very handsome.” You give them all a quick once over, “You all look very handsome. And again, thank you for the dress. I really appreciate your hospitality. You are too nice to me.”

Namjoon gives you a dimpled smile and gestures to the seat between him and Jin, “It's the least we could do. We dragged you out here to our filming and then with the storm… Well, none of us were prepared.”

You make your way over to your seat shivering at the buzzing sensation dancing along your skin. Jin pushes in your chair once you're seated and you give the room another glance.

“So...what’s with the candles?”

Yoongi and Hoseok share a look before Namjoon answers from next to you, “There's been power outages reported all over the island because of the storm. The hotel is trying to save energy by having the power diverted to the populated areas of the hotel. The conference rooms weren't expected to be used so, their power source has been rerouted. I hope the candles don't bother you?”

“No,” you quickly shake your head at the perfectly reasonable explanation. Of course, they weren't trying anything. Jimin and Taehyung told you they just wanted to be friends and they had done nothing to make you think otherwise. It wasn’t their fault your thoughts had gone down that path. “It doesn't bother me at all. I was just curious.”

Before you can say more, the conference room doors open and trays of food are wheeled in by several waiters. You turn to watch the food, determined not to be embarrassed by the way your stomach starts growling, and don’t notice the looks of relief exchanged by the men sitting with you. Everything smells so delicious, even covered as it is and you know your eyes are large as the platters of food are set on the table before you.

The clinking of plates and silverware being set out is loud in the suddenly quiet room. Even the servers movements seem muffled. You’re distracted from watching them by the sound of a wine bottle being opened. Unlike the other sounds fading into the background and adding to the ambience, this is loud and almost echoes around the room. Before you can protest, your glass is being filled and while you know you probably shouldn't drink, you want to. It wouldn't hurt to loosen up, just a little.

-0-0-0-

You already know you drank too much.

It’s obvious in the way you’re smiling a little too happily and letting your gaze linger a little too long. You glance at the six empty bottles of wine that litter the table and wonder how many you drank on your own. Surely not more than one? Two? You can’t be sure. Your dress feels tight and uncomfortable now and you envy the boys for being able to take off their suit jackets and roll up their sleeves. Jungkook had even removed his dress shirt and was down to a slim black tank top. You were trying not to stare and failing miserably.

“You're staring.” Jin’s breath is warm in your ear and you can't help the way your heart jumps at his close proximity.

“Of course I'm staring,” you say louder than you mean to and gesture to where Jungkook is arm wrestling Jimin, “he's all muscly,” you explain, then add almost as an afterthought, “and pretty.”

Jin gives you a beautiful smile and brushes some of your loose hair behind your ear, “Mmm … I think you're the pretty one. Gorgeous really.”

You scoff and try to push his face away, “And I think you drank too much Mister Kim Seokjin.”

“Nope,” he gives you a wink, “I only drank one glass.” His fingers walk up your arm to play with the straps of your dress, “Taehyungie picked out a beautiful dress. You look exquisite.”

You shiver at his touch, “Tae picked it out? I thought a stylist did.”

“Ohhh no,” Hoseok chimes in from across the table as he refills your wine glass once more, “he insisted on picking it out himself.”

“But why have us dress up at all?” You tilt your head and your brow furrows in confusion as you really start to think about it, “We're in a conference room, no one is gonna see us.”

The table grows quiet and you watch as the men share a look. Your drunk brain is starting to suspect that they aren't as inebriated as their actions suggest and you open your mouth to ask them exactly what is going on here…

“Yoongi-hyung!” Jimin blurts out in an almost high-pitched squeal, his finger pointing almost accusingly at the quiet rapper, “Yoongi-hyung insists on propriety.”

You watch as Yoongi glares at Jimin before he turns his softening eyes towards you, “You're a guest.” He explains, eyes darting around the table as if daring anyone to say otherwise, “You deserve to be treated well.”

Before you can respond, the double doors open behind you and another cart is wheeled in, this time full of desserts. You turn in your seat, watching it come closer, excited to see what they might have ordered. When the lid is taken off to reveal the scrumptious sweets underneath, your gaze narrows in on something familiar.

“Ooo, can I have that one?” You ask and point at the perfect looking dessert on the perfect little plate. It looks more like a photo than real food, but your mouth is already watering at the thought of tasting something so exquisite looking, “It’s my boyfriend’s favorite.”

BOOM!!

The sudden crash of thunder is enough to shake the windows of the conference room and makes you jump back, almost into Jin’s lap. Many of the candles go out, plunging the room into a state of semi-darkness. A large flash of lightning races across the storm black sky, lighting the frightened face of the frozen waiter still in front of you. They drop the dessert and you cry out as it lands at your feet, splattering onto your lovely dress.

“Oh no!” Even you have a hard time hearing your voice over the renewed burst of rain, “Oh, I hope they can clean it!” You think about grabbing some napkins, then think better of it, worried about ruining the dress and mourning the loss of the beautiful dessert. You look at the still seated men, “What a way to end the night huh?”

You stand to leave, already wondering if you’ll be able to use the phone in the room to call the front desk or if you should just put your, hopefully dry, clothes from earlier back on and take it down yourself. They had to have some sort of cleaning service at a place like this, right?

You only make it two steps when a hand on your arm stops you, “Wait, don’t go.” Jungkook’s hand is large and warm against your skin, “It’s still early. Can’t we hang out just a bit longer?”

You look around him to see six pairs of hopeful eyes watching the two of you, waiting for your answer. You bite your lip. You really did need to get out of the dress, but you couldn’t deny that you wanted to spend more time with them, “What do you suggest we do?”

His eyes light up as a grin slowly spreads across his face, and, for a moment, you wonder if you’ll regret asking.

-pt 5-

[damienthepious]

tuesday time for soft and angst and soft (and kisses)

No More Changes (I’ll Still Love You The Same) [Chapter 4]

[chapter 1] [chapter 2] [chapter 3] [ao3] [chapter 5] 

Fandom: The Penumbra Podcast

Relationship: Lord Arum/Sir Damien/Rilla

Characters: Lord Arum, Sir Damien, Rilla, The Keep

Additional Tags: Second Citadel, Lizard Kissin’ Tuesday, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, (tho not THIS chapter certainly), Curses, human!arum, (but not… because he WANTS to be), (it ain’t good y'all), Panic Attacks, Overstimulation, Rilla Is Queen Of Comfort, Damien Does Not Consider The Consequences Of His Words, The Keep Is Best Mom, Body Dysphoria

Summary: Lord Arum and his Keep have fought off curses before, but they have never dealt with one quite like this. They have never dealt with a curse while having a couple of humans around to help them, either… though it remains to be seen exactly how helpful Arum’s lovers will be, in the effort of restoring him.

Chapter Summary: Self-care is vital in times of crisis.

Chapter Notes: We all needed a little soft. And therefore this is. the LONGEST chapter so far. Chapter title from the song Riches and Wonders, by The Mountain Goats. However the song that best fits the general tone of the day is Soft, by Babygirl.

Chapter 4 - Guardians of a Rare Thing

~

Rilla steps through the portal and emerges on the other side in Arum’s workshop. She sighs in frustration, ready to scold Arum for trying to work in his current state, but as she glances around the workshop she realizes it’s empty. Is the Keep really that disoriented by all this? Did it bring her to the wrong room? “Uh, Keep? Where’s Arum? I need to see him.”

The response comes slow, and maybe a little softer than usual, but Rilla can hear the warning in its tone all the same. Of course. After Damien… Of course it would be afraid for Arum- afraid of Rilla, and what she might say to him. If he’s really as upset as Damien said…

“Keep, please. Let me see him. Damien made a mistake. You have to let me see him. Please, he has to know that we’re going to fix this. He can’t think that-“

She cuts off as the Keep lets out a relieved sigh, and she hears the shifting of vines. She watches as the Keep carries a mass of vines and leaves over to her and deposits it gently at her feet. She can see the shape of Arum curled up, nestled and tucked into the bramble. She can just barely see his face through the tangle of foliage, and his (painfully plain) gray eyes refuse to meet hers.

She gives a relieved sigh of her own, setting her bags down and moving closer to the vines.

“Arum-”

"Has he sent you to convince me?" Arum says, low and bitter, only half his face visible through the Keep’s embrace. "To present me with some ultimatum? Some simple human mathematics to bolster his case?"

"Arum, you know-"

"I suppose the numbers add up, when you truly simplify it, don't they? The happiness and convenience of two humans held against the desires of one monster- oh, and the monster's home, as well, but it isn't as if there is anyone left to understand and translate for it, so it does not really matter what opinion the Keep holds on the matter, does it? And besides, I am sure we are all well aware of the relative value placed on the wishes of a monster, anyway. Or- ha, or do my desires count for more, now that I am one of you?"

“No. Listen to me-”

Arum laughs, or chokes, she can’t quite tell. “A more effective curse than even they intended, I would wager. Weaken me, mute my bond with my creator, force me to face the conditional nature of human affection-“

“Arum. Damien is an insensitive ass, and he fucked up.”

Arum’s eyes finally meet hers, then, and it nearly breaks her to see the pain and hope shining there, the redness from the tears already shed, the shine from those that might still fall. Saints, oh saints but he doesn’t deserve this-

“What?” he says, suspicious, and Rilla sighs.

“I’m sorry,” she says gently. “I know- I know that Damien said some just- profoundly callous things to you. He’s- he’s just-” she shakes her head. “I just shouldn’t have left like that. I’m so sorry you and the Keep got stuck alone like this. That wasn’t what I wanted for you.” She pauses, biting her lip. “Are you- are you gonna let me in, or do you wanna have this conversation through branches? That wasn’t a judgment- whatever makes you more comfortable is fine by me.”

Arum looks away again, working his jaw soundlessly for a moment before he mutters something she can’t quite hear. There is a pause, and then the Keep shifts the vines around him, creaking them apart but not away until it opens a little window. She can see him a little better, then, see him shrunk in on himself, curled into an even tighter ball inside the embrace of his home.

She plops down on the floor beside him, because she'd rather die than try to pull him away from the Keep right now, and he tilts his head just slightly, though he does not move either towards or away from her.

"If the Keep is giving hugs, mind if I get in on that? Group hugs with mom are honestly the best," she says mildly, and it startles a weak laugh out of him, and after a moment or two he lifts his arms and the vines part a little more, widening the cozy space inside the tangled thicket. Relieved, Rilla slips in beside Arum, and the steady softness of the moss and leaves around the both of them is almost too comforting for Rilla’s worried mind to bear.

When she’s settled in the small space, her arms safely around Arum, she sighs, her brow furrowing. Arum very clearly doesn't know what to do with himself. He keeps moving his hands, slipping them from her shoulder blades to her arms to her lower back, unsettled and uncertain, and she realizes after a moment that he can’t settle because he wants to be holding her more tightly. He wants to hold her as he usually does, and he can't, now. He only has half the hands he is used to holding her with.

"I'm so sorry, Arum,” she says, and this close she barely has to do more than whisper. “We're gonna fix this, though. If we can keep from killing each other over methodology, we can figure out anything, right?"

Arum sags against her.

"I..." he hisses through his teeth, a pale shadow of the noises he should be able to make. "I intended to say that I have overcome worse. I do not actually know if that is true, this time."

“I mean, we’ve both almost died more than a few times by now, so…”

“And yet,” Arum mutters, his soft blunt fingers fluttering against her shoulders. He sighs. “Amaryllis, I…”

“I’m sorry, Arum,” she says again, steady as a boulder, soft as moss. “I’m here, now. I’m here.”

For a moment, he’s glad he’s slumped into her, that she can’t see his face. The line between crying and not-crying is becoming blurrier, and Arum is so, so tired. He can't even tell, anymore, if he's crying because of the near-pain, or out of relief because he knows that it's going to be okay because Amaryllis is here now and she’s promised they’re still going to fix this, that she understands how hard this is for him, or if it’s because even despite his relief at her presence, his thin belief that they will somehow make this right again, that still doesn't mean any of this is okay now.

"Of course-" he tries to straighten up, but she can feel the way he's trying to accommodate for a tail that is no longer there, and she has to force herself not to wince, not to let the heartbreak show on her face. "Of course, you are the only human whose mind I would trust with a task such as this. Brighter than the lot of your entire tepid species."

Normally she would poke him in the snout for a comment like that. Right now she just scowls, the look in her eye indicating clearly that she knows he's being snarky on purpose. "And you're not so bad yourself, obviously. We'll figure it out. We'll get your real body back."

Arum closes his eyes, sighs, nods against her shoulder.

"We need to get you more stable before you start trying to do science or magic, though, Arum," she says, and he grumbles but he is shaking, just a little, and he knows her stubbornness too well to protest, just now. "And... and then at some point, we need to talk to Damien."

Arum flinches, his eyes flying open, and then they narrow disdainfully. "No."

"Arum-"

"He- Amaryllis, I cannot bear to look at him. I cannot- Amaryllis he looks at this body- this stranger, and his eyes shine, already wondering at all the ways this will fix things, will fix his aberrant affection for such a horrible monster-"

His cheeks are wet, again. Rilla can feel her own heart cracking, and she wishes she could parse out how much of this is just the strange new body, and how much is the hurt. It wouldn't help to know, but- "I know. I'm sorry for that, too, but you know that he loves you, Arum. He does."

"Then why? Why look at me that way? Like he is already living in the future, where his days with a monster are past and forgotten? Why yearn for proper kisses, as if every affection passed between us was some poor imitation?" He scoffs. “He loves me. Perhaps. But it is always in spite. In spite of everything I am. Despite the fact that I am a monster, he loves me."

“Arum,” she says softly.

"He loves me and feels it as a flaw in himself,” he continues, sneering. “He loves me and feels himself broken because of it. That has- that has been thrown into stark relief today, Amaryllis. And I cannot push the question from my mind- if this is how he l-” he squeezes her tighter, and the pressure is all wrong, halved and without the cool touch of claws, and when he tries again, his voice has gone so very quiet that she would not be able to hear him if she pulled away another inch. “If this is the way he loves me, Amaryllis, in contempt of everything I am, is that- is that love at all? Is that anything like it? I have very little practice in this arena, certainly, but it cannot be- it cannot be this.”

Rilla can’t help but press a soft kiss to Arum's brow, not wanting the touch to be overwhelming but unable to clamp down on the need to soothe. "He's still caught up in how the Citadel expects him to be. He does love you, Arum. He loves you so much, just like I do, and he's trying. And when I talked to him he- he knows that he's messed this up. He knows he hurt you. And I know that none of that makes this any better, and I know that you’re really vulnerable right now and he tripped right into that, Arum, but-" she feels her heart clench, "but even if you can't forgive him." She stops again, and dammit she's not going to cry too. She's not. "Even if this is how this thing breaks, I think you owe it to him and you owe it to yourself to tell him exactly how you feel. To tell him yourself how he hurt you, and if he wants your forgiveness he can ask for it then."

He doesn't respond right away. She imagines the ticking rattle that usually accompanies his slow thoughtful pauses and it burns like a hot coal in her stomach, and then Arum presses his face into her collarbone and clenches his jaw.

"Please," she says, just quietly. "We don’t have to do it right now, and honestly it’ll probably be better to let things settle a little bit first, but I don't... I don't think you really want the last things you say to each other to be... to be that."

Arum sighs again after a long moment. "I don’t… understand. You are just as human as he is," he mutters. "Yet you seem as eager as I, to restore my proper body. Certainly it would be freeing," he sneers, "for you as well, to love another human. That is- that is what I find most painful, Amaryllis. The longer I consider his words the more I fear he may be right. I only make your lives more difficult, do I not? My own pain and discomfort aside, would your lives not be so much simpler if I were human? We would not have to hide, you would not have to lie to protect me or yourselves-“

“But you aren’t human.” Rilla scowls, and she feels hot with anger. “It doesn’t matter what they did to you. You are not a human. You are Lord Arum, He Who Rules the Swamp of Titan’s Blooms. You are a monster, and that’s exactly who we fell in love with. Not some human. You. We fell in love with you. We fell in love with Lord Arum.”

Arum sinks further into her embrace as she speaks, his breaths slowing, growing more even.

"Love is always complicated," she continues, voice softer. "And yeah, loving a monster is new for both of us, just like I bet loving humans is new and strange for you. But it’s… harder for Damien, to let go of the way he thought before. I was never like Damien, though. I never wanted to fit into the Citadel the way he did. There's a reason why I'm still 'of Exile', Arum. I chose to keep that, and I chose to be with you. I chose to be with a magical construct with gorgeous scales and four arms and a tail and a bad temper, and I'm not giving you up without a damned fight."

Arum pauses for another long moment, and then he swallows roughly. "Amaryllis... I- you know that I- I love you," he rasps. "Very dearly."

Not going to cry. Dammit. Dammit. "I love you too, Arum." She closes her eyes, pressing her face into his neck, missing his frill, trying to let his arms and the vines of the Keep around them steady her. "I'm sorry we can't seem to catch a damned break," she says with a weak, wavering laugh.

"If..." he hesitates, "if you think I should... speak with him again, I will... I will trust your judgment," he murmurs, eyes downcast. "If you believe he will listen to what I need to say. Truly listen."

"I think he will," Rilla says softly, and then she kisses his cheek and lets herself smile. "And if he doesn't? I'll just go ahead and kick him in the shins, and then the Keep can dump him in the wettest part of the swamp to think about what an asshole he's being for a little while."

The Keep gives a satisfied sort of warble as Arum half chokes on a laugh, and if it sounds like a sob on the back half Rilla's certainly not going to mention it.

She cups his face in her hands. "Whatever happens, I love you and I'm with you, and we'll figure the rest out together. Okay?"

"... Okay." Arum leans up, hesitates, and then presses the line of his mouth against the edge of her jaw, and it's strange and stiff and awkward and she is not going to cry, no matter how much her heart is breaking for the casual nuzzle of a scaled snout. They're going to fix this, so there's no reason to cry about it. "Okay," he repeats. "I believe you. Despite my better judgment."

“Okay,” Rilla says, her hands gentle upon him.

“It’s not as if I could stop you anyway,” he mutters. “I think the Keep can hear you better than it can hear me, just now.”

Well. That hurts too.

“Alright,” she says. “Alright, we’ve done enough collective moping for today, huh?”

Arum makes a noise, and she imagines that he’s attempting to growl. “I am not moping, Amaryllis-”

"No, no, I think we both were, for a minute there. But I’ve had about enough of it, I think. And as cozy as it is cuddled up in here - thank you, Keep, I really needed this too - I think we need to get you a little bit cleaned up, maybe.”

“Cleaned-” Arum hunches, defensive, and swipes his hand across his face again.

“First thing you did in this body was to fall in the dirt, Arum, and your hair has literally never been washed before. And, yeah, I think you’ll feel better if you can wash your face, too.” She smiles, as best she can. Little things, just little things until she can shift her focus to fixing the one big thing. “That sound good?”

“I don’t need you to- to coddle me,” he mutters, but he makes no move to push her away.

“Look, it won’t fix anything, but you’ll feel better if you’re not all grimy and stuck in robes that don’t currently fit you.” She shrugs. “If you wanna call that coddling, fine, but I just want you to be as comfortable as possible right now.”

He considers that.

“Fine, fine. Keep,” he pauses, mouth pressing awkwardly closed for a moment. “Keep, can you… hear me?”

Another pause, perhaps a little shorter than before, and then the Keep sings around them, light and attentive, and Arum exhales in obvious relief.

“Prepare a bath, if you would,” he asks, soft, and the Keep chimes a clear affirmation, the leaves of their small shelter shivering around them. “Good. Yes. Th-thank you.”

Rilla holds Arum gently for another moment, then releases him so she can press her palms against their shelter, and the tangle surrounding them slowly creaks outward until they can clamber out. Rilla carefully helps Arum back to his unsteady feet, making sure that he’s leaning safely against her as she leads him through the new portal the Keep has provided to the washroom. It’s heartening, that the Keep is stable enough to do so without explicit instruction.

“Alright,” Rilla says as the enormous cupped-leaf basin that serves as the Keep’s bathtub fills with gently steaming water, “get your robes off, and then when we’re done I’ll find something that fits you a little better for the moment.”

Arum- flinches, clinging to the soft purple cloth covering his unfortunate new frame despite the way it still overwhelms his senses. “I- but-”

“Arum, I’m a doctor, I’ve seen like, hundreds of naked human bodies. It’s not even close to a big deal.” She glances away, and then back towards him with a painfully understanding look, and she does not say that she knows he does not want to look at himself like this, not bare and vulnerable, but he knows that she knows, all the same.

He huffs, but then he rolls his eyes. “I suppose that makes sense,” he grumbles, and then he steels himself and starts to pull the robes off, wincing as he goes, gritting his teeth as the cloth slides over his sensitive skin, shuffling it down and baring a decidedly uncomfortable amount of this soft terrible skin to the open air.

“Oh- dammit, Arum, hold on-”

Arum blinks and freezes as Rilla comes close, wrapping her fingers around his wrist and angling the limb so she can see his forearm. With no small degree of bewilderment he sees a distinct scrape, speckled with grit and purpling dark with bruise beneath the redder parts of the wound.

“I- when did-”

“Probably right when you first changed- when you fell,” Rilla says, her brow furrowed with irritation. “You must’ve hit a rock or a root or something, and you didn’t notice because of all of the rest of it.”

Arum huffs, gritting his blunt teeth together. “Ridiculous fragile body cannot handle a fall of a few feet? Absolutely absurd-”

“Hold still, would you?”

Her medical bag is still at her hip, and she starts methodically pulling out what she needs to treat the injury as Arum stands and scowls and shuffles his feet. Now that he is aware of the wound it feels sharp and strange, much more present than a similar scrape would have been on his scales. That would have merely been superficial, and certainly this must be as well (humans cannot possibly be fragile enough to take permanent damage from so small a mishap, they simply cannot), but regardless it feels so vivid. To feel an injury this much in his proper form, it would need to truly pierce his scales, not- bruise him.

There is a safety in the look on Amaryllis’ face as she attends him, though. A familiarity. In matters of healing her focus is always unwavering, a universal force he trusts without needing to even consider it. By the time the bandages are safely wrapped around his new skin, his new injury (do bandages always itch on human skin?), he feels reassured for more reasons than just the treatment of the wound.

Amaryllis solves problems.

Foolish as it may be, he trusts that she will help him fix this one.

“There,” she says, voice soft and steady, and instead of letting go of his arm, she simply slips her hand down to take his, brushing their fingers together with barely any pressure at all. “Now. Let’s get you in the water, okay?”

Her grip on his hand is a bit tighter as he dips his toes in, and it’s a good thing, too, because these damned feet have no grip, no claws or scales for traction, and he nearly slips on the edge. She keeps hold of him, though, and with no major incident and only muted grumbling he settles into the mellow warmth of the water. It is still… somewhat overwhelming, but less so than the cloth of his robes, and at least with the water in the way he doesn’t really have to look at his current form. He cups his hands in the water first, then, and splashes his face, as if one sort of water can pretend away another. He does… feel marginally better, after even just that little bit.

Rilla sets her bag aside and settles to sit by the edge of the basin behind him, taking the basket of soaps and other mysterious jars and oils that the Keep dutifully hands to her with a smile, and Arum tries his level best not to feel like a damned helpless hatchling, forced to rely on Amaryllis and his Keep for something so very simple as bathing himself.

The frustration must show on his face, though, because Rilla’s expression goes infuriatingly sympathetic again, and she sets the basket down and reaches out, gently nudging him forward.

“Lean back for me?” she says, soft, and he gives her a suspicious look. “Gotta get your hair wet before anything else,” she elaborates, and Arum works his jaw stubbornly, still feeling so unutterably humiliated for a tense moment before Rilla exhales sharply. “C’mon, you’ve helped me wash my hair before, just- let me do this for you. I want to do this for you, Arum.” She pauses. “Please.”

Arum looks away from her, his throat feeling tight, and then he leans into hands, allowing her to dip his head into the bath, the bizarre sensation of warm water on his scalp making him shiver.

“Okay,” she murmurs when he’s up again, and then he hears her uncork something, and then she says, quite seriously, “You have to let me know if it feels like too much, Arum. Okay? Last thing I want right now is to make anything worse.”

He grumbles something wordless, not really wanting to acknowledge the idea that a simple touch might push him past some limit, but she does not touch him yet.

“Promise me you’ll tell me, Arum,” she says behind him, and Arum is absolutely certain that he has never in his entire long life done anything to deserve this degree of care.

“Fine, Amaryllis, fine, I will inform you if this pathetic form is overwhelmed by soap, are you happy?” he gripes, and he is satisfied to hear her laugh lightly at his back.

He sighs, settling an inch or so deeper into the water, covering his shoulders, and then he feels her hands, just light at the nape of his neck, slipping up into his unfamiliar mess of hair, and Arum’s eyes slip closed without a thought.

It feels-

It is intense, certainly, especially when whatever soap she is applying starts to foam, and when she starts to work her careful fingers through the tangles, attentively working them out, her blunt nails dragging along his scalp, he understands why his humans- why Amaryllis enjoys it so, when he runs careful claws through her own hair.

“So, obviously, this whole situation is rough,” Rilla says suddenly, without preamble, and Arum scoffs at the understatement as he pulls his knees towards his chest, curling into a more awkward ball. “I'm not going to pretend that it's not, Arum, and I don’t expect you to be happy about any of it. That being said, though… you know, it doesn't have to be all misery and gloom. You've got a pretty unique opportunity, here!" She grins, pulling a hand from his hair and rinsing off the soap so she can touch his shoulder, stroking her thumb over the crook of his neck and watching the way that makes him shiver. "We'll get your body back. Obviously." She shrugs, as nonchalant as she can manage even though he’s still facing away, even though he can’t see her. "But in the meantime, you get to have, just, a bunch of unique new experiences that it's unlikely that any other monster has ever gotten to have!"

"Such as... what, precisely, Amaryllis?" He glances at her suspiciously over his shoulder, but he is leaning towards her as he resumes his former position, allowing her hands back in his hair and obviously more curious than he wants to let on.

Which. Saints bless. It's been so hard to see him this unsteady, this upset, and if she can just draw back some of the fire in him- well, he deserves to at least have some good in this horrible ordeal. Plus, gauging his reactions to new stimuli might turn out to be helpful in figuring this mess out, too. Rilla is a big fan of tasks with multiple purposes.

"Like... right now, like how you’re getting first-hand experience in how it feels when you play with my hair." She grins, and Arum’s posture goes a little stiff, his face a little blank, because it feels as if she has plucked that thought from his very mind. "You can see how it feels to us, to touch things with our fragile human skin. I can show you how kissing like a human feels, just for comparison." She pauses, and he glances over his shoulder again to see the slightly awkward tilt of her smile. “If- if you would like that, I mean.”

“A-ah.” He flushes dark. She misses the frill pretty acutely, for a moment, but it's interesting to have confirmation of her perpetual suspicion; Arum blushes easily.

Her smile softens again, and she cups his cheek very, very gently in her less-soapy palm. "We'll fix this sooner rather than later, so you'd better see what all this being human stuff is about before we change you back, right?"

“If… if you say so, Amaryllis.”

“I do say so,” she says, and he assumes that the smugness in her voice is a veneer. He can respect that. Her hands scrub across his scalp with just slightly more pressure and he- he cannot give the gentle throaty rumble he wishes he could, but he can sigh, at least. “Lean back for me again?”

He does as instructed, indulging the herbalist with a mild frown, and when his hair is submersed her careful touch works to rinse the soap out, and even if it feels just on the bare edge of overwhelming it is the most pleasant sensation he has felt in this body so far.

Damien always loves to say that their herbalist has healing hands. Arum abhors hyperbole, but at least in this assessment, Sir Damien speaks with precision.

He lifts out of the water again, and Rilla works something new into his hair, something smoother. Then she holds out a cloth over his shoulder, for him to take. “Here. Help me multitask and we can get you out of there before the water gets too cold.”

Arum takes proffered cloth from Amaryllis, but as she hands him the bottle of soap he fumbles it. His grip is all wrong, he no longer has to accommodate for sharp claws, and so his loose grip and stubby fingers are not strong enough to hold the nearly full bottle. It falls into the bath with a loud splash, and he snarls automatically and flinches away from the water that splashes up into his face. This- this absurd body, these hands. The frustration- the frustration he cannot even find words for, of trying to reach, trying to catch with limbs that are no longer a part of him, and he feels so useless as Amaryllis gently reaches around him to pull the bottle up out of the water and pour a bit of soap onto the cloth for him.

He bites back a snappy remark about how at least she trusts him with a cloth, if not a soap bottle, because she’s… trying. This is difficult and frustrating for him, but that doesn’t mean he has any right to take it out on her. She’s trying so hard to make this better for him. He knows she’s not… judging him for this. He hates feeling pitied (Damien’s voice in his mind, overly saccharine and indulgent and eager: I am sorry you have been so maligned, darling, but no curse could ever-) but Rilla doesn’t make him feel that way. Of course she’s sorry for him and he knows that, but she never makes him feel uncomfortable. She’s always rational and logical, never overwhelming him with emotions like… well.

He shakes his head to clear that thought and focuses on the feel of Amaryllis’s hands in his hair again, slow and easy. After a moment, he takes the washcloth and begins to run it over his arms. As he runs it over his left arm - careful to avoid getting the fresh bandages wet - he notices the skin there, just above his elbow, is unmarked. The scar that he’s… grown accustomed to, since his first meeting with the little knight, is gone. As if it never happened.

It’s… fitting, he thinks bitterly. He can almost imagine what Sir Damien would think of this new development. You see, my love, just as this new form brings a new kind of freedom to our relationship, so, too, are the old injuries and mistakes erased.

He bites down a laugh he would be unable to explain to Amaryllis. How Damien would thrill at the idea of that old injury merely ceasing to exist. How happy he would be, to know the harm he had caused could simply vanish from the world as though it never occurred. The harm, yes, and also- also the erasure would absolve Sir Damien of his heresy, that blasphemous mercy his Citadel would only ever condemn him for. As if it never occurred.

It would never occur to Damien that the mark he left on Arum would be… significant. A reminder of exactly why he lo- of where his interest in Sir Damien began. A single act of mercy, and with it a promise. A promise that Arum’s monstrous nature was not enough on its own to condemn him to death. A promise that Damien wanted him, a monster. Wanted him alive, if nothing else, and then more than just that.

Now even that simple, meaningful mark is gone. Just as Damien-

Well. Amaryllis does not wish for him to wallow in misery in gloom, does she? Why he is even thinking of the poet now- it’s ridiculous. He is being ridiculous, and all the while Rilla is steady behind him, hands holding him as safe as he can be in this form, and he should allow himself to enjoy that, shouldn’t he? He cannot say how much longer he will be allowed it, after all.

Because even if Amaryllis is correct, even if they can overcome this, even if this time tomorrow Arum is wearing his own skin again, he cannot say what will come of his- his relationship with these humans he has allowed into his home. Into his- into his heart. His two partners were intertwined long before they knew him, after all. If he breaks from one of them-

How could he expect the other not to break as well?

Arum feels his throat clench again, feels the tension in his chest that he is unfortunately becoming quite familiar with.

Arum- Arum needs to let her know. To let her know it’s okay. She has offered so much- so much gentleness and care, more than he could possibly deserve, and-

He may as well say it now, he thinks. He may as well say it while her hands are upon him, while he needs not look her in the eye. He does not think he would have the bravery to say this, otherwise.

"I know you have promised, Amaryllis, to... to assist me in this. To help restore my form." He pauses, and she doesn't, her hands steady and soothing in his strange new hair, working some mysterious softness through his dark locks. "But… but I will understand, if Sir Damien and I cannot reconcile-" he swallows, and forces himself to continue. "I will understand if you and I must part as well, in turn."

Her hands finally stop moving, and she pulls them away to rinse off in the water before she tilts his face back towards her, cupping his cheeks in her hands. "Arum. What?"

"I would not ask you to part with your betrothed," he says, and he still cannot meet her eye because if he does he will dissolve again to nonsense, because all he wishes to do is draw her closer and closer until she can never leave, because he is selfish. "If he and I- if we cannot endure this together, I do not expect that you will humor me alone after you are finished with the task of restoring me to myself. I would not ask this of you."

Her breath catches, and it doesn't sound quite like a laugh. "Arum. Do you really think that I would just-"

"There would be a symmetry to it," he murmurs, very suddenly unwilling to hear her confirm his suspicions. "A symmetry- you came into my life because I needed you to heal my Keep- if we parted after you helped to heal me- yes, it would be a rather logical arc-"

"I'm not going anywhere,” she says, her voice thick, and when he glances to her in surprise her eyes take on a determined glint. She pushes closer, lifting her leg over the edge of the basin and slipping into the warm water beside him fully clothed, despite his surprised yelp of protest, and she wraps her arms around him, squeezing tight. "I'm not giving you up, you absolute idiot."

"Amaryllis- I- I know you feel the need to- to comfort me,” he says, his new voice shivering wild like an aspen in a light breeze, “and I- I admire your kindness, you commitment, but-"

"Idiot," she hisses. "I don't know how things are going to work out between you and Damien, Arum, and yeah, I'm not going to pretend that doesn't break my heart. I'm not going to pretend it's not going to be hard, no matter what else happens. But I love you," she presses her face into his neck, the pads of her fingers digging sturdy and solid into his shoulder blades. "I love you. And I already told you, I'm not going to give you up without a fight."

"Amaryllis this… us. It's all so new, and difficult, and... Damien and yourself- you fit together so perfectly already, as though you were made for each other. I do not… I do not belong with you the way that he does."

"I don't believe in fate, Arum. I believe the choices we make create our fates. And I chose you, just as much as I chose Damien."

Arum squeezes his eyes shut. Why she chose him, he’ll never understand. After all he did to her, after what he almost did to all of them-

"And... to be honest, Arum? If... if Damien can't see how much he's hurting you-" Rilla pauses, and Arum can feel the tension in her frame, can feel that she's holding herself rather tightly. "If he really has convinced himself that this could be better for you, somehow, if he's really willing to be that selfish, and that cruel… I have a hard time believing he's still that deluded, but- if he really is... I don't know." She exhales, her shoulders drooping. "I don't know. I- it would be... hard. It would be hard to- to be with him, after that. I feel like I would need some time- that he and I would need some time away from each other, at least. To figure out how I feel about that."

“But-” Arum’s mouth hangs open for a moment, “I-” he pauses. “And if- if Damien and I- if we cannot reconcile, and Damien remembers that he does not wish to share you with some- some monster any longer?”

She scoffs, her expression going wry. "Frankly, Arum, I don't respond all that well to ultimatums. If I actually felt like I was in a position where I absolutely had to-" she makes a noise that's not really a laugh, "to choose between the two of you, I don't have the first clue what I would do with that. I love both of you. I love both of you so much, I don't know how I would- how I could possibly-" she pauses, inhaling sharply and visibly centering herself. "But. And honestly I very much doubt that Damien would ever do this, but if for some reason he thought he could come and try to twist my arm in some tacky "it's him or me" scenario- well, let's just say that I don't think that would end particularly well for him."

Arum cannot speak, not for a number of breaths after that. Rilla doesn't speak either, but her silence feels more deliberate. "A-Amaryllis," he says eventually, uncertain and unsteady. "You- you should not be forced to toss aside your bond with Damien, not for my sake-"

"I wouldn't be," Rilla says, and her own voice is even, now, her cheek resting easy on his shoulder. "I’m not saying I’m gonna snap my fingers and say goodbye, but depending on how this breaks- I might need some time to think about whether or not he’s the person I think he is. And- and if that's the way it works out, it will be a choice I make for myself."

There is no response Arum can give to that. He can hold her, though. He can hold her, even if it feels like a half-measure, less secure with two less limbs, as if she could slip from his grasp with barely any effort.

She does not want to, though. He reminds himself of that.

“You’re gonna get all pruney if we stay in here much longer, though,” she sighs, squeezing him and then pulling back enough to meet his eye. “Did this help? Even a little?”

“You helped,” he mutters, glancing away and feeling strange heat in his cheeks. “You always help.”

She makes a noise, and when he looks towards her again, she-

There are tears in her eyes.

“Amaryllis,” he breathes, and she laughs strangely, lifting her hands and brushing the heels of her palms beneath her eyes.

“I know, I know,” she says in a thick sort of voice. “I’m sorry, ridiculous human emotional whatever, I’ll have a handle on it in just a second-”

“Amaryllis,” he says again, and he draws her closer, lifting a hand and almost, almost touching her cheek. “No, no apologies, Amaryllis. You-”

She has been holding herself so carefully, he realizes. Spine straight, hands gentle, smile sturdy. And she has been doing so for his sake.

“No,” she says, sighing as if the tears are an irritating sort of imposition, “I’ve got it, I’ve got it, just gimme a sec, here-”

“I love you,” Arum says, helpless against the tide of it, and her breath hitches as he cups her cheek and thumbs away a tear and he- he hates this curse all the more, that it is hurting her, too.

She looks up at him (less up than usual, but still), her lips tilting wryly, and Arum-

Arum sways towards her.

He is accustomed to brushing the thin, inelastic line of his mouth across their lips in request, accustomed to allowing the humans to lead a ‘kiss’ as they desire it, but this time when his mouth meets hers he has even less idea what to do than he normally does.

He understands the fondness they have for the act, though. Why this gentle human curve is so intensely sensitive is beyond his understanding, but the strange sharp tingle of even this unpracticed, unsure kiss is like some sort of wildfire. Skin. However humans manage not to collapse from the intensity of every touch is a mystery.

He also realizes, with some mortification, that he does not know at all what to do next.

In his own body, he would-

He parts his lips, nipping Rilla’s bottom lip with these odd blunt teeth, and she laughs in surprise, pulling away just enough to meet his eye before she dissolves into laughter again.

That is like wildfire, too. Her laughter. The brightness it kindles in his own heart. He smiles when she collects herself, and she shakes her head at him.

“Ridiculous lizard,” she mutters, breathless, and Arum can’t help but laugh along with her.

[heathenarmyimagines]

Title: Alliance

Summary: When a crew of vikings washes up on an African beach and receives help returning home Ragnar wishes to form an alliance with this country by any means.

Pairing: Ivar x Reader

A/N: So this was requested and I had originally intended to have it all done in one post but I realized it was too long and I had put a lot of love and research into the story and didn’t want to rush things to wrap it up. The bold dialog represents the foreign language in that location, so in Africa bold is Norse and in Kattegat bold is Derja.

Taglist: @ubbesgirl, @shewolf2000, @tis-itheapplepie, @atequila, @demoncrypt1066, @greennightspider, @badbitsh13, @fireismysaftey, @minarawr, @laketaj24, @hvitserksgirl, @blahblahcookiesdoma, @fabulous-peasent, @sforsammmmmi, @minmiin1d, @courtrae89, @letsloveimagines, @tomarisela, @titty-teetee, @beyond-the-ashes@elenawrit, @mblaqgi, @whenimaunicorn, @chuflisworld, @mystruggledlife, @moose-squirrel-asstiel, @syreni-dea, @trashqueenbitch, @alykatv, @mbaku-babygirl, @perfectus-in-morte, @beyond-the-ashes, @neeadinghugs, @readsalot73, @triumphantreturnofpies, @anarchy-is-coming, @tephi101, @alicedopey, @ivarslittlebadgirl, @jtrstp, @nejijjeoroo, @charlylama, @ivartheblessed, @captstefanbrandt, @fabulouschrissi, @ivarsrideordie, @3x5gurl, @the-writer-appreciation-blog, @lolabee9, @captainfoxy22, @young-ugly-god, @im5ftbutmythroat66, @bribyyy, @irishhiggins, @cadetomlinson, @keclleon101, @slutforragnarssons, @ltkeke, @meeeeeeeeeps, @lille-kanin, @opalscarab, @ssraven7, @ivarandersen, @concretewaywardangel, @funmadnessandbadassvikings, @sharon-is-tired, @cadetomlinson, @mystruggledlife, @chuflisworld, @justmarissa97, @lol-haha-joke, @weirdly-randomly-awesome, @inlovewithmakeupcomicsanim, @idonthavehusbandsihavelovers, @alexa040004, @buckythetinman , @burntmythroatskullingmytea,@jorunnravenslayer, @two-unbeatable-beaters, @buffy-the-vampire-blogger, @arses21434, @ltkeke, @captainfoxy22, @chinduda

‘Princess! Princess!’

You covered your mouth to keep from giggling as you hid behind a hut as the servant searched for you.

After a second or so you heard the servant run off the wrong way, you peaked around and saw that your servant was in fact not gone.

She was standing right in front of you and looked very upset with you right now.

‘Princess (Y/N) why do you insist on running from me so often? I know you don’t like to but you have responsibilities and one of those is walking through the village and making sure that your people are happy and safe.’ she said.

‘The people are always happy Bintu, and the walk is so long.’ you pout.

‘What if one day they are not? How will your mother know?’ Bintu questioned.

‘They could request conference with her.’ you said.

‘Conferences are not free, we must make our rounds to check on those who cannot afford conference.’

With a defeated sigh you went along and walked through your village, begrudgingly taking note of the fact that everyone was indeed happy. LIke they always were when you did this stupid daily walk.

The merchants were selling, the children playing or helping their mothers and fathers; no one was begging and no one stealing anything as far as you could tell.

‘See everyone is well, can we please go back to the palace now.’ you whined as you reached the beach and saw that there was still no issues in sight.

‘If you would actually look your highness would see something was very wrong.’ Bintu said as she pointed to the left.

You leaned to look over and you saw that a few miles out there was small cave and inside there was a small fire.

‘Bintu! There are people in that cave!’ you gasped in panic.

‘I can see that princess, what should we do?’ she asked.

‘We have to go and see who they are.’

‘Are you sure that is wise?’

‘Those people could be hurt, we must make sure they are alright.’ you answered as you began to walk toward the cave.

‘They could also be dangerous.’ Bintu warned as she followed behind you.

‘You know the law Bintu, we protect our land and people, it is my duty as princess. Those people are on our land so they are now our people.’ you said as you continued on your way.

‘And if your new people want to harm you and your land?’

‘That is why you are here, to protect me.’ you said.

At that Bintu had to concede, she was the servant tasked with keeping you safe at all times and she would do so until one of you passed.

In a mildly comfortable silence you both continued your journey to the cave, the closer you got the more Bintu’s words had unsettled you, but you had to keep your word.

You were Princess (Y/N) of Tunisia, you could show no fear in the eyes of anyone. It was a lesson your mother had hammered into you.

Finally you and Bintu were close enough to the cave to see inside of it.

There were about twenty men sitting in the cave, they all appeared old and a few seemed a bit injured.

After a moment of observing them the man closest to the mouth of the cave saw you.

He spoke in a language you had vaguely recognized from your teachings, it was Norse. You were by no means fluent but you could hold a conversation in this tongue.

‘We mean you no harm.’ you said in Norse.

Bintu pulled you to stand behind her, holding her spear defensively and keeping trained eyes on each of the men that came pouring out of the cave.

‘You speak our language child?’ the man asked.

‘Just a little, my name is Princess (Y/N) of Tunisia. Who are you and what is your business in this kingdom?’ you asked.

The man gave you a smile then turned his eyes to Bintu, making your protector tighten her grip on her grip on her weapon.

‘My name Sven, this is my crew, we sailed from Kattegat, hoping to travel to England but a powerful storm sent us astray and we lost our navigator to the seas. For days we drifted until we were once again by a storm, this one took our ship and using driftwood we swam for two more days and washed up here.’ the man explained.

‘What is he saying?’ Bintu asked.

‘They are Norsemen, they were sailing for England when they were hit by two storms and washed up here.’ you summarized.

‘Are any of your men injured, we have healers to assist you.’ you offered.

‘Yes, but I do not think they can walk to your healers, and I do not think you guard can carry all of them.’

It took you a minute to translate a few of the words in that sentence, but once you had you had to agree with this pale man.

Even now you could see some of the men were leaning against the walls of the cave while others seemed unable to stand at all.

‘Bintu, go and fetch the healers, as many as you can.’ you ordered.

‘I cannot leave you alone in the presence of strangers.’ she argued.

'Nor can you disobey.’

'I may do whatever I must to keep you safe.’

With a sigh you took out the dagger you were bound to carry until your eighteenth summer.

'Princess!’ Bintu gasped, turning away from the men to look at you in shock.

You stepped forward ahead of your servant and stood a few feet away from Sven.

'Before I send my guard to bring the healers she must know that I am safe here.’ you said.

'Tell her we would never hurt such a generous host.’

'She will not believe you, and she will not leave until she has seen you bleed for the kingdom.’

'Bleed?’

'Blood.’ Bintu said, turning her head to show the scar on her right cheek.

Sven looked back at his men and the all seemed to be telling him to agree, if you weren't mistaken you think there were a few vulgar threats being made as well.

'If it pleases your Highness.’

You stepped forward and instructed the man to bend down so you could reach his face.

'By the blade of my father and the fathers before him I bleed you for this country.’ you said before you made the cut.

You did not like cutting the man, but being a princess meant doing things you don't always like to protect your people and traditions.

'Are we trusted now?’ Sven asked as he stood.

'You are, the others must be bled, an unmarked face is the face of an enemy.’ you answered as you went to the next man.

‘By the blade of my father and the fathers before him I bleed you for this country.’

One by one you bled each man, binding their loyalty to your country.

Bintu relaxed her stance once the last man was cut.

'Please go and get help.’

She nodded dutifully before leaving you one more message.

'Tell these me if any harm comes to you I will cut off their manhoods and feed what is left of them to the dogs.’ she said before she ran towards the village.

'What did she say?’ Sven asked.

'She says she will return as soon as possible.’ you lied.

The man made an amused face that showed he didn't believe you for second.

'Tell me Princess, how old are you?’

'I’ve seen twelve summers.’ you answered

‘So young and already a natural leader, you must make your people proud. Come and sit with us while we wait on your friend.’

You followed the man to the mouth of the cave and sat in the sand.

'Where do you all come from?’ you asked as Sven sat next to you.

'A country called Scandinavia, in the north. Can you tell us where we are?’ Sven asked back.

'Tunisia, in north Africa.’

While you all waited for Bintu to return with the healers you all spoke of your respective countries, learning as much as you could.

At last Bintu returned with a hoard of healers running behind her.

The healers went to work, carrying the men too weak to walk and rapidly checking over those who could.

You and Bintu helped as best you could until at last the healers declared the men were all ready to be moved into town.

As you walked through the village all the people had crowded around to see the strange men who had washed up and appeared as if the ocean water had washed away their color.

The people whispered and looked on in wonder as the men were taken into the healing tents.

At last all the Northmen were in being looked over, but with them gone from the public view there were a lot of questions to be asked.

‘Who are these men?!’

'Where do they come from?!’

'Why are they so pale, are they ill?’

'Is their disease spreading?!’

‘Silence!’ Bintu yelled, slamming the flat end of her spear on the ground, silencing the crowd.

‘These men are foreign, from the north side of the world, they are not ill nor are they contagious. They have washed up here and they will have council with my mother, your queen. She will decide their fate, until then they will be here with the healers.’ you announced.

It felt so odd having to talk to people like this, and even stranger to have all these people who were so much older than you listening to you.

You were still just a child in your mind sometimes, but you would have to get used to this kind of thing sooner or later.

With your royal announcement done Bintu lead you back to the palace, where the royal guards greeted you.

‘Princess, your mother is waiting for you.’ one of them said.

‘Thank you.’ you replied as you headed for the throne room.

‘(Y/N).’ your mother said from her throne.

The throne was a grand chair that was made out of the first tree that grew when your people settled here, the chair was believed to be the oldest and most sacred object in the whole kingdom.

One day you would be the one sat in the seat, baring the responsibilities that came with it.

‘I have heard you had a exciting day.’ she smiled.

‘Not really exciting, but more eventful than yesterday.’ you said as you walked up the steps to the throne and kissed your mother’s forehead.

You told her all you had learned from of these strangers from your short time with them in the cave and she listened.

‘A great deal of misfortune plagues these men my child, you did good to offer them help. I’m sure it was a hard decision to make.’

‘No it wasn’t, they needed help so I gave them help.’ you said.

‘You have a kind heart, like your father.’ she sighed as she place a fond hand on your cheek.

That made you lower your head and kneel before your mother.

‘May his spirit carry on.’ you said respectfully.

‘May his spirit carry on.’ the queen said back.

You stood back up and looked back up at your mother.

‘My husband, your father...he was kind; the kindest king the country had ever seen. So kind that it killed him.’ she reminded.

‘I will never ask you to be cruel (Y/N), I will never tell you how to rule, but I will advise you to be wise. Not everyone is an ally, think carefully before you offer your hand to a stray, sometimes they will bite the hand the hand that feeds them.’ she said.

You nodded, not knowing that in that moment that what she had just told you would be the words you would live by for the rest of your life.

Weeks passed and the Northmen were well enough to speak with your mother, Queen Aza of Tunisia. They spoke a long while before your mother gave them her permission to build a new ship and travel back to their home.

Of course being that your people believed that you only got what you work for, these men would have to build the ship themselves.

In the meantime they were allowed to stay in the castle, where in exchange for shelter and food they taught you about their land and Sven was now teaching you Norse while you taught him Derja.

Sven also told you and your mother about their Gods and how they sacrificed animals and even people to insure that their travels would be safe and their crops would grow full and strong.

He told you of his king Ragnar Lothbrok, who had been a farmer who was first of their people to sail west and found England where he had hoped that his people could settle and farm.

That was why they had sat sail, to go to the settlement that Ragnar had secured.

It took them all a little more than seven months to build a ship that was large enough for them and their provisions.

You and your mother went down to the beach to see them off and say your goodbyes.

‘We are...glad?’ Sven began to say in your language, taking a second to find the word he was looking for.

You nodded and let him know he had said the right thing.

‘We are glad you could come a see us off, Queen Aza and Princess (Y/N).’ Sven said.

‘How could we not? You were all such great company it will be quite dull without you here to tell us your tales.’  you said.

‘Aye, I will miss having someone listen to my tales, Gods know none of these men do anymore.’ Sven laughed.

‘Maybe you can come back one day?’ you suggest.

‘Who knows, if the Gods will it.’

‘And if the spirits are kind.’ your mother added.

At last one of the men called for Sven to get on the boat before they missed the tide.

You walked up to Sven and reached into the bag you were carrying and pulled out a necklace.

It had crudely carved wooden beads and in the middle there was a lion tooth on a leather string.

‘I made the beads but…’ you looked over your shoulder at your mother then motioned Sven to bend down so you could whisper in his ear.

‘I took the tooth from one of the lion rugs.’ you whispered.

The large man laughed as he took the necklace and put it on.

‘I thank you, princess.’ he said before kissed your forehead and stood up.

He and the others board the ship and bid you and your mother farewell as they sailed off.

Years and years passed and so much changed since that ship had sailed off when you were a girl.

For starters you no longer required a guard to escort you anywhere, you were a fully trained warrior now. Your mother’s advice had lead you to the conclusion that you would need to know how to defend yourself should you ever be in danger.

In larger news your mother had remarried, to a chief from a neighboring country. A man named Akashi, their marriage brought a great alliance, one that brought great trades to your kingdom and more money to his. It also brought a new prince to your kingdom and a little brother for you.

His name was Ayo and he was just a precious little thing that had only seen seven summers and you loved him...even when he was annoying and hiding your things from you.

Bintu was still you guard and you two did go almost everywhere, but it was now more out of duty than actual necessity. She and you both knew that you needed no protection, she had trained you herself.

Today was like every other day, you and Bintu walking through the village, checking on the people.

You and Bintu were speaking of having a sparring match when you returned to the palace.

‘This time I’m going to pin you.’ you said.

‘You said that last time princess.’ Bintu smiled.

‘That was the past this is now, I am better now than yesterday.’ you laughed.

‘As am I.’ she teased.

‘Princess!’

You looked up and saw a man running toward you urgently.

‘Calm yourself, what is wrong.’ you asked.

‘A ship, not one of ours, its hours away!’ the man panicked.

You looked toward the beach in worry before you ran toward the beach, Bintu right behind you.

Once you were there sure enough there was a ship off in the distance, and no it did not bare one of your flags.

But you did know that flag and who it belonged to.

‘Sven?’ you said questioningly.

‘I’d recognize that sail anywhere, I lost a bet with that damn pale man and had to sew it for them.’ Bintu said rolling her eyes in annoyance.

‘Quickly go and fetch my mother and a few more warriors.’ you ordered.

‘Why the warriors?’ Bintu asked.

‘Last time Sven was here he was licking his wounds. Time heals wounds...and it can change people; bring the guards, in case time has changed my old friend.’ you explained.

You watched your guard run off and turned back to look at the ship.

There was a big part of you that was excited and eager that Sven was coming back, but a bigger part of you that knew it was always best to be ready for things to go bad

With a sigh you sat in the sand and waited for either the ship to reach shore or for Bintu to return with the others, whichever happened first.

Your mother, step father and brother came up to the beach followed by about thirty of your soldiers.

‘The spirits really did bring him back to us again.’ your mother hummed.

‘At last I get to meet the famous Sven.’ Akashi said.

‘I read that the Northmen are savages who eat their enemies.’ Ayo said excitedly.

‘That’s all Christian propaganda, they write lies to make their enemies appear worse than they are.’ you assured.

‘Where is the fun in that, making yourself more afraid of enemies? Seems dumb.’ Ayo pouted.

You shook your head at your baby brother before stepping back to stand beside your mother.

‘Why did you bring him?’ you whispered.

‘He wanted to see the Vikings.’ she answered.

‘And if the Vikings want to see our family killed then they will have everyone of us right here. He should be returned to the palace at once, before the ship docks.’ you advise.

Your mother turned her head to whisper into your ear.

‘I will never tell you how to rule when your time comes...nor will you tell me how to rule in mine.’ she reminded.

‘Princess!’

You looked and saw Sven leaning over the side of the boat waving at you, his hair was grayer and his beard longer but you knew in an instant it was him.

The way he moved, the energy he gave off, and the childish expressions he made when he saw you gave him away.

You watched as he jumped over the side of the ship and walked over to you.

‘Oh look at you little one, if may I even call you that now!’ he said excitedly as he picked you up and spun you around.

‘I am not little anymore Sven.’ you smiled.

‘I can see that, let me look at you...ah you have grown so much.’ he smiled as he sat you down.

‘Not as tall as you yet.’ you replied.

‘You’d be a bear of a woman if you were my size.’ he laughed.

‘What is wrong with being a bear of a woman?’ Bintu asked as she stepped up to Sven, only an inch or so shorter than him.

You rolled your eyes, Bintu and Sven were always at odds.

‘Nothing wrong with it, honestly it is...quite attractive in my eyes.’ Sven smiled.

‘Swine.’ Bintu scoffed before she backed away.

Sven had won that battle.

‘It is good to see you again Sven.’ your mother greeted.

‘Same for you Queen Aza and...who might this be?’

‘This is my husband, Akashi, and our son Ayo. They were both eager to meet you.’ she introduced.

‘Do you eat your enemies like the Christian books say you do?’ your baby brother asked looking up at Sven.

‘Ayo!’ you scolded.

‘Tell me Sven, why have you and your men returned?’ your mother asked.

Sven let out a sigh and straightened his stance, something you remembered him only doing when he had to be serious.

‘I am here on business...for my king Ragnar.’

'Really?’ the queen asked, all informality leaving her voice.

‘Yes, I have told my king of your land and its resources. He would like to have an alliance with you.’

‘Come let us discuss this in a proper conference as we should.’ Akashi suggests.

You all agree and after giving the warriors instructions to help unload the ship you left the beach.

Walking through the village was not as hectic as it had been the first time, but by no means was it quiet.

The people were all surprised to see that the pale men had returned.

It only took about an hour to reach the palace and the walk there was spent in comfortable silence.

At last you were all in the throne room, you and your family climbed the steps and stood by the throne that your mother sat in while Sven stayed at the base of the steps.

'Queen Aza, on behalf of my king, Ragnar Lothbrok I deliver the formal request of an alliance.’ Sven said.

'What would be the conditions of this alliance and how will my kingdom benefit?’ your mother asked.

'Ragnar is willing to send you a good portion of our resources, including furs, fish and minerals in exchange for your financial support in his next war should one come.’

'We have furs and fish here.’ your mother argued.

‘He is also offering seasons and spices that you do not grow here, and by forming an alliance you will also have access to our ships.’

‘Ships?’ your mother asked.

‘Yes, our long ships or unlike anything you had ever seen here. They can travel further and faster, and they can travel narrow rivers as well as the open sea.’ Sven praised.

‘And your king Ragnar will give us access to one of these ships?’ the queen asked.

‘To as many ships as he can spare, you may use these ships for whatever you like, simple travel, trade, even war all he asks is that you fly your own flag.’

You watched your mother think over this offer and you did as well; the spices and furs were not things your kingdom truly needed but ships?

A few good ships would be greatly beneficial, it would make trading much more efficient and traveling would be an amazing opportunity.

‘I don’t believe this offer, access to such ships for financial support in a war that has not even started, what else does your king want from us?’

‘You are correct Queen Aza, Ragnar was only offering the spices, minerals and furs for the financial support. He instructed me to offer the ships...in exchange for your daughter’s hand in marriage.’

‘What?!’ you shouted in surprise.

Your mother put a hand on your back, a motion that reminded your to keep face in council and also brought you comfort.

‘Sven...I do hope you did not come here thinking I would let some strange king take my first born for a few ships.’ your mother said.

‘The king does not want to marry your daughter, your highness. He does not feel comfortable giving access to his ships to someone out of his family, and he would also like to continue his legacy. He has five sons, four of which are unmarried.’ Sven clarified.

‘It doesn’t matter who it is; my daughter is not for sale.’ your mother said sternly.

You were happy to know your mother would never think of trading you off for ships, but at the same time you knew those ships would be amazing for your people.

‘Wait.’ you spoke up.

Your family and Sven both looked at you.

‘It is my hand this king is asking for and this should be my decision mother.’ you said.

Your mother was a queen, unlike you she enjoyed having people do as she commanded, she was a very commanding woman and she did not relinquish control.

She stared you down and you could see she wanted to protest, but at last she sighed.

‘I will not agree to marry anyone I have not at least met. I wish to travel with you to meet with this King Ragnar and his sons.’ you said.

‘You will go nowhere alone, nor will you marry a man I haven’t met, we will all be traveling with you to this...Kattegat.’ your mother said.

‘Mother, you cannot leave the kingdom and you know that; it would be chaos in a matter of days.’ you reminded.

‘Please mother, let me make this decision on my own.’ you pleaded.

Your mother turned and looked at you and you could see that only just now did she realize you really were not a child anymore.

‘If you decide to marry...you will have to live with your husband, you will be a world away from us...away from me.’ your mother said with her eyes filling with tears.

‘My sweet Queen Mother, no matter where I am or far away it feels I will be with you forever as you will be with me forever. The spirits bind us.’

‘The spirits bind us.’ Akashi and Ayo spoke.

You looked to your mother who swallowed around a lump in her throat.

‘The spirits bind us.’ she said.

With your mother’s support and agreement you had made your decision.

‘We will leave in two moons time, and Bintu will also accompany me as well as ten other guards of my choosing. I will stay in Kattegat for one week to meet these princes, if I decide to marry you will return with the news for my mother as well as ten ships that she may use for trading with the island kingdoms.’ you said to Sven.

‘As you command, your highness.’ Sven agreed.

The time passed much faster than you had hoped.

After you had agreed to go to Kattegat things became completely hectic, for starters your training had intensified. Your mother was spending as much time with you as she could, even watching you train with Bintu and the other warriors.

Unfortunately you didn’t really get too much time with Sven, he had much business to attend to. He had to figure out how much resources King Ragnar would need to send and also negotiate with the treasurer how much gold he would receive in exchange.

At last you would be sailing off tomorrow and you were ashamed to say you were nervous.

You had never been outside of your village nor had you been on anything bigger than a fishing boat your whole life.

‘I knew I’d find you here.’

You threw your dagger in the direction the voice came from.

‘Woah there princess.’ Sven said as he entered the cave holding the dagger that he easily caught.

How did you know?’ you asked.

‘Well...you did try hiding in here often when you didn’t want to do your princess duties as a child.’

‘You always told Bintu I was in the woods and then you’d tell me stories about your gods.’ you reminisced.

Sven walked over to you and handed you the dagger before he sat beside you.

‘I missed you old friend.’ you said.

‘And I you.’ he replied as he tugged down the neckline of his shirt, revealing the necklace you had made him.

‘You kept it.’ you smiled.

‘It was a gift from a princess, only an idiot would throw it out.’ Sven smiled.

‘Tomorrow we set sail and I will probably never come home again, it is stupid to stay in this dark cave. Even still I have walked through this village everyday since I could walk.’ you said.

‘I can not say for sure but I am almost sure if you request to return home to visit occasionally there is no reason why your husband won’t allow it.’

Those words gave you a great amount of relief, and the two of you spoke all night until you had eventually fallen asleep.

Sven woke you up the next morning and told you that the ship was ready and your family was waiting for you on the beach.

You and Sven walked to the beach and indeed your family was there as well as the warriors you had chosen and two servants your mother demanded you take with you.

‘There you are my child.’ your mother sighed in relief before she ran toward you, pulling you into a hug.

‘Mother.’ you sighed, hugging her as tight as you could.

‘Don’t forget me!’ Ayo complained as he ran up and wrapped his arms around your waist.

“How could I forget you baby brother?’ you smiled as you put your hand on his head.

‘Are you really going to leave forever?’ the young prince asked.

‘Not if I have anything to say about it, so don’t you go messing up my things.’ you teased, thumping his head.

‘We will miss you around here.’ Akashi said.

Your relationship with Akashi was not...strong; you didn’t really like nor dislike him. You respected him of course he was your mother’s husband and the father of your brother.

‘I will miss you all.’ you smiled.

You looked over and saw that Bintu and the others were simply standing and waiting for you.

‘Did you all say your farewells?’ you asked.

‘We all have said our goodbyes to our families last night.’ Bintu answered.

You nodded and gave them the order to board the ship and wait for you there.

‘Remember to stay ready for anything, and know that I will rain fire on the world if anything happens to you.’ your mother said.

‘I will mother...I love you.’ you said as you kissed her forehead and then you did the same to Ayo and even Akashi.

Kissing your family goodbye before you boarded the ship.

Once you were on the Northmen began to row, you and your servants and warriors clung to the side of the ship.

‘The spirits bind us!’ you shouted.

‘The spirits bind us!’ your family yelled back.

You stayed there and looked at them until you were too far away to see them, only then did you turn and look around the boat. The men had raised the sail and the strong wind carried the boat along the sea.

On the journey you taught all your warriors and the servants the language of the Northmen so that they could communicate with the shipmates and the people in this land you were going to.

Finally after what felt like a lifetime of sea sickness you all saw land.

‘There she is, Kattegat.’ Sven said.

‘How long before we are there?’ you asked.

‘A few hours...four at the most.’

You looked over and gave your servants the order to gather your things and get ready to reach the shore.

While they did that you went below deck and changed into a ceremonial dress and jewelry. Once you were dressed you stayed below, taking the time to mentally prepare yourself.

At last you felt the ship jolt as it came to a stop.

‘Come on up princess, there is a surprise for you up here.’ Sven called.

Above you found that there was indeed a surprise you on the beach.

‘PRINCESS!’ a crowd cheered.

It seemed as if the whole kingdom was on the beach waiting for you to arrive.

‘Why are they all here?’ you asked.

‘To see you, the princess from yet another far away land they didn’t know existed. A strange woman who looks like nothing they have ever seen before.’ Sven answered.

‘Makes me feel like an animal.’ you said before Bintu gave order to the soldiers to surround you and your servants.

‘Forward.’ you said before you began to get off the ship.

The crowd cleared a bit and you saw a large pale man, with a shaved tattooed head; to his right was a woman with charcoal lined eyes, and to the left there was five men.

‘Welcome Princess (Y/N), we have been waiting for your arrival, I am King Ragnar.’  the man said.

‘Hello King Ragnar, it is an honor to finally meet you; Sven has spoken highly of you.’ you said politely.

‘He also gave you many praises, please let me introduce you to my family. This is my wife Aslaug, my first son Bjorn Ironside, Ubbe, Hvitserk, Sigurd Snake in the Eye, and my youngest Ivar the Boneless.’ King Ragnar introduces.

‘Hello to you all, my name is Princess (Y/N) of Tunisia.’ you replied, being sure to meet all of their eyes.

‘You must be hungry, come we’ve prepared a feast in your honor, and also have chambers ready for you and your warriors.’ Aslaug spoke.

‘Thank you, please lead the way.’  you said.

The  royal family turned and began walking, all except one.

Ivar, the youngest one, did not walk like the rest, instead he crawled; his legs dragging behind him as if they were not at all attached to him.

You and your people followed behind him and you barely noticed that you were being almost studied by these strange pale people; you were too focused on the man crawling in front of you.

Before you knew it you were entering a long cabin, this must be the Great Hall you had heard about. It seemed this was where all the feast were held, as well as important public announcements, celebrations and events.

‘Please take a seat, and also feel free to let your servants sit and eat as well.’ Ragnar said as he took his seat along with his family.

You sat and gave the others permission to sit as well.

The food here was so strange and tasted so odd, all you wanted was to as a bit more seasoning to all of it, but nonetheless you ate.

‘Tell me princess, what do you think of our piece of the world.’ Ragnar said.

‘Well it is much colder than my home, I will say that much.’

‘Yes Sven told us it was like a never ending summer when he had came back, he said the shines brighter where you come from.’ Ragnar commented.

‘I cannot say if that is true but I do know we are not used to sun hiding behind the clouds for too long.’

‘May I say princess, the way you are dressed tells us you are used to warmer weather.’ Aslaug said.

‘Mother.’ Ubbe said sending his mother a look, clearly he was worried the queen had insulted you.

‘There is no need to reprimand, I know my dressings must seem odd to you all. This is sacred wear in my kingdom, clothing for impressing other royals and for celebration.’ you informed.

‘May I ask you a question princess?’ Ivar asked.

‘Of course you may.’

‘What is your religion in your kingdom?’

‘I don’t believe there is one religion in my country, some places praise this while other praise that. In my kingdom however we have no gods, only the spirits.’ you answered.

‘Spirits? What are those?’ Hvitserk questioned.

‘Yes spirits, my people believe you never die only the body falls and when your body falls you are more than a person. You are powerful and strong without the restraint of your body’s weakness.’ you said.

The vikings seemed to hang on to your words as if you were telling them some whimsical story.

‘If I may I would like to ask you a question Ivar.’ you said.

He let out a sigh and already he knew what your question was, he had been complaining about having to answer the question since Sven set sail.

‘Yes you may.’

‘Would you like to train with me?’ you asked.

The entire hall went completely silent, it felt as if even the wind that had slamming against the hall had stilled.

‘What?’ Ivar asked.

‘Your legs do not work, but you are able to pull your body around with ease. You are strong and from what Sven told me of your people fighting is a big part of your culture. With legs that do not work your fighting style must be unique...I want to see it.’ you explained before you continued eating.

Still it was silent.

'Has my request offended you in someway?’ you asked.

'No, my son was expecting you to ask about his legs.’ Ragnar spoke when Ivar did not.

'Why would I ask about his legs? They don't work I can see that as clear as I see you, and if I asked about every strange thing I saw here I wouldn’t get in a good breath.’ you said.

‘You find all of us strange?’ Sigurd asked.

‘Your name is Snake in the Eye and your face shows why.’ you answered.

‘All of you you are strange to me; your skin is pale, your eyes are all blue and your hair is far too thin.’ you continued.

Ragnar let out a deep and loud laugh, the kind only an old man can manage.

His laugh was also contagious it seemed, soon the whole hall, yourself included was laughing.

‘You really are a unique woman Princess, I cannot wait to see which of my sons will be lucky enough to call you their wife soon.’ he said once the laughter had died down.

You sent a look to all of his sons and grinned.

‘Neither can I.’

The night went on, you spoke a great deal with Ragnar and his family, answering their questions about your home, while still latching onto whatever information they let slip.

Like how Bjorn was the married one, you found that out when a child ran up to him and laughed while a woman chased after him. You couldn’t hear what he said to her but it was clearly sweet and loving. You also found out that Bjorn was Ragnar’s son from a different marriage, the unpleasant looks Aslaug kept giving him said as much.

‘Princess (Y/N), Sven tells us your people have a very interesting music and an even better way of dancing.’ Sigurd said.

‘Well I do not mean to insult, but the music Sven and his men would play was always so dull.’ you teased, throwing a bit of bread at the old man.

‘Please, play us something.’ the snake eyed man asked.

‘A princess should not be entertainment.’ Bintu whispered.

‘I agree but I have been on a stuffy boat for weeks and I would like to thank the spirits for carrying the boat safely.’ you said.

‘We have a few drums from home, I believe they were brought to our chambers. If you may send someone to go and fetch them.’

‘Allow me, I will need a bit of help.’ Sven said, looking right at Bintu.

She rolled her eyes and stood to go and help carry the drums.

While they were gone you asked the others if they would like to dance with you or if they would like to play the drums instead. You always asked people if they wanted to do one thing or the other as opposed to simply ordering them to do things.

Two warriors eagerly agreed to beat the drums while a few of the others chose to dance.

Soon Bintu and Sven returned to the hall and you noticed she was seeming to look anywhere but at him, meanwhile Sven looked more smug than usual.

‘What happened?’ you teased.

‘Nothing.’ she dismissed quickly before calling the others to gather for the dance.’

The Vikings pushed back a few tables and the two warriors got in position at the drums.

‘For the Spirits my sisters.’ Bintu said.

The second you heard the drumming begin you were filled with by spirits, they pulled at your arms and made your legs move. They moved your body with so much vigor and heart that you forgot all about your surroundings.

You were no longer in a strange country surrounded by strange people, you were home dancing with your mother and the rest of the village.

When the music stopped you were out of breath, sweating and exhausted.

The room was filled with cheer.

‘Amazing!’ Ubbe praised as he clapped.

‘Thank you, but if I may be excused, I think the dance took the last of my energy.’ you panted.

‘By all means, you must be tired. I know I certainly would be if I had danced like that for even a minute.’ Ragnar assured.

You smiled and dismissed yourself from the feast, two guards lead your way to your room while your two servants followed behind you. The guards took their place by your door and the servants followed you in.

‘At last...finally alone.’ you sighed as one of the servants began to undress while the other began to prepare a bath.

‘The other...servants helped me fetch and heat the water and they gave us a few oils that are sweetly scented. Would you like to add it into your water?’ Leena asked as she poured the water into the tub you had brought from home.

‘Do you both wish to add it?’ you asked.

‘I did like the smell when they offered it to us.’ Kya said as she removed the last of your jewelry and put it away.

‘Well If you both wish put it in, it is your bath as well as mine.’ you smiled.

They both smiled excitedly, Leena added in the oil before they both eagerly took off their clothes.

You got in first and then they came in after you and you all began to clean yourselves.

‘Did the others also have baths ready for them?’ you asked.

‘Yes, and they even have their own...servants.’ Leena sighed.

‘Slaves.’ you corrected.

When Sven had told you that his people had traded people like cattle and used them for labor you had been appalled. You were downright disgusted when he told you how poorly these...thralls were treated.

You wished that if you decided to marry one of the princes and eventually became queen you could change that, but you knew that wouldn’t be likely. Slave trade was a large part of their economy and as horrible as it was a better option than being killed when your kingdom was raided.

There was a knock on your door.

‘Prince Ubbe wishes to see you.’ Siti said from outside.

‘Let him in.’ you called.

The door opened and the prince entered, he seemed very surprised to see you, not that you understood why.

‘I did not know you were in the bath, I can speak with you tomorrow.’ he said keeping his eyes on the ceiling.

‘I have already made plans for tomorrow Prince Ubbe, if there is anything you wish to speak with me about by all means go ahead.’ you said.

‘Well I wanted to talk to you about the conditions of the alliance.’

‘Alright.’ you agreed.

‘I understand my father wants you to marry one of us, and I would like to ask you which one of us you prefer.’ Ubbe said, at last looking at you.

‘To be honest, I don’t favor any of you. You all look so...strange to me, and I came here to see who you all were so I could see whose spirit I liked most if I decided to marry at all.’ you said as you stood from the water and got out of the tub.

‘By the Gods.’ Ubbe breathed as he couldn’t take his eyes off of you now.

‘Is something wrong?’ you asked.

‘N-no, I just...I don’t mean to offend you by staring, but you are very beautiful.’ Ubbe said.

‘Ah! I remember now, Sven did say your people were a bit more conservative than us.’ you said.

‘I’m sorry if I’ve made you uncomfortable.’ you apologized before telling the others to cover themselves.

‘I never thought my people could be called conservative.’ Ubbe laughed.

‘Tell me Ubbe, as one of my potential husbands, who do you think I should marry.’ you asked as you put on a gown.

‘Well if I may be honest.’

‘That is all I ask.’ you assured.

‘Before Sven told us about your country and presented the idea of an alliance my mother was pestering us to find wives. Me and Hvitserk did not even entertain the thought, neither did Sigurd but he at least pretended to.’

‘And Ivar?’

‘Ivar is...well he is Ivar. I know we are all strange to you, but Ivar is strange for us. There are many people who believe he shouldn’t even be alive.’ Ubbe said sadly.

‘Why?’

‘My people we need to be strong, our world is too harsh to those with weakness. When a baby is born deformed we leave it in the woods where it can either prove itself and survive or the animals will take him.’ he said.

‘That is horrible.’ you gasped.

How could anyone leave a baby out in the wild to die, yet alone the baby’s own parents?

‘I know it can seem that way, but it is how we’ve done things for generations. It is what my father did with Ivar when he was born with broken legs, but my mother followed him and brought him back. Their relationship was never ideal, but after that all love between them had died.’ Ubbe started.

‘My mother believed Ivar would grow to be beastly, and the way he acts sometimes shows that it could happen.’

‘So he is cruel?’ you questioned.

‘I do not believe he means to be, he just...he cannot control his anger and he is easy to anger.’

‘He didn’t seem that way during the feast.’ you said as you sat on your bed.

‘When he is calm he can be almost charming, and as his brother I love him and see him as more than vicious.’ Ubbe said.

‘One of his redeeming qualities is his love for mother, when she presented the idea of marriage he was the only one with an open mind. And I believe he has taken a bit of interest in you.’

‘What makes you think so?’ you asked.

‘You didn’t question his legs, everyone asks about his legs. Its what they ask before they’ve even asked his name.’

You thought over his words and took a moment to reflect on them, it was seeming Ivar was your best option but controlling would be a constant battle if you chose him.

‘I don’t mean to push you but I will say Ivar is the only one open to the idea of marriage and he seems to like something about you.’ Ubbe said before he dismissed himself.

Alone again you finally laid down.

‘Come you two, it is time we rest.’ you called to Leena and Kya.

They got in the bed and laid on either side of you and you all settled in.

‘We have much to do tomorrow...and even more to do in the week we will be here.’ you said before you finally drifted to sleep.

[tnystrk-exe]

Reckless and Impulsive 8

Tony Stark X Reader

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 End

You drove up to Tony’s for your week long break.  Originally, you were going to spend it in your apartment but Mike was being strange. It was starting to become unsettling. Sooner rather than later you’d need to get your own place.

   Opening up the door, you could hear woman giggling up stairs. That’s what you got for coming unannounced. A while later Tony finally came down stairs.

   “You know, one day, I’d love to come home and my husband not be cheating on me.”

   He jumped slightly, not expecting anyone. “Sorry, wife. If I expected you, I would have wrapped up my affair sooner.”

   “It was traumatic.”

   “Was it?”

   “Completely. I gave up on trying to tune it out with the TV. She would not let it win at all.”

   “I’m sorry, really, if I had known you were here it would have been different.”

   “It’s okay, but if I ever have to hear someone going. Oh, Tony,” you over did a moan, gasping slightly, “Ever again, I think I’ll shoot myself.”

   “Let me call up a cab for her and take a cold shower, for that little show.”

   “I’m going to enroll you into sex addicts anonymous.”

   “I just got a lot of love to give,” he laughed when you rolled your eyes. Tony picked up the phone and ordered the cab. “So, what brought you around to my humble home?”

   “Week off and he’s being weird again.”

   “Mike? What’s he doing?”

   “Just stares and looks like he’s planning or something. I don’t know,” you shrugged, “Maybe it’s nothing.”

   “Why’d you move in with him anyway?”

   “It was cheap, he was really cool when we first met. I got a little ways more to go before I have enough to move out. It’ll happen soon.”

   “Let me help you out.”

   “No. I’m not always going to have someone around to bail me out. I gotta learn how to do these things on my own.”

   “But you’re not on your own.”

   “I know. Thank you,” you smiled at him.

   He was about to say something before a car honked out front. “Guess her cab is here, let me go get her.”

   “But Tony, we could have some more fun together,” you heard a woman whine from the top of the stairs.

  “I’ve had my fill of fun today,” he led her down, “Besides, I called a car up for you. We wouldn’t want to disappoint the driver, would we?”

  “I don’t see why I have to leave,” she pulled him down for a kiss, “Let me stay.”

  “I don’t want you to stay. Now, I’m going to ask you politely. Please, leave.”

  She turned around with a huff, finally noticing you. “Oh, okay. Now I see, you want me to leave so you can have fun with a slut.”

  “Hey, you don’t talk to her like that. If you want to fucking talk about someone and give names do it me,” he grabbed her by the arm and led her out, “All of you, always want to talk about her, I’m tired of it.” He slammed the door and went back with you. “I know you could have handled it, you have before. I’m just so tired that the first thing some of these girls do is attack you.”

   “It’s good, it’s good. Thank you for handling it. Now go get clean, I think the air around you from her will get me sick.” You winked at him, smirking playfully.

  “I think Rhodey was right when he said we hung out too much. All those little expressions are dangerously like mine.”

  “Probably, I reserve my smart ass comments though. You don’t come up with mine.”

  “Yeah, yeah, whatever my dear. Make yourself at home.”

  “I’m not sure how much more at home I could get. I have a key.” You said, watching him walk away.

  “Yeah, ditto. I might have to use your apartment key one day.”

  “Please do, I think you’re entertaining.”

  You watched tv just biding your time. Deciding that your going out clothes were too uncomfortable, you went up to Tony’s room to change into one of his shirts and a pair of pajama bottoms you left at his place the last time. Going back to the living room you turned on the stereo, the usual AC/DC cd playing. Dancing along and playing air guitar a couple songs in, you heard Tony chuckle.

  “You’re playing that air guitar all wrong, babygirl. Come on, pass it over so I can show you how the pros get it done.”

  You handed the air guitar over, “Fine, oh mighty master, show me the way.” He tuned it before playing it in perfect sync. “That’s no fair, you know these songs like the back of your hand.”

  “Nope! I’m just perfect at everything I do.”

  “You sure?”

  “Pretty sure.”

  “Have you drank today?”

  “Yes.”

  “Did you sleep somewhat consistently this week?”

   “Nope!”

   “Eating?”

   “Snacks. No meals admittedly.”

   “Tell you what. I’ll buy us some Chinese from that place we both like. We’ll talk. Then me and you will go to sleep for a while.”

  “I always sleep better with you around,” he allowed, “but I started up this new design and I really want to finish it soon.”

  “Tony, I don’t doubt you’ve been working on this as much as you can but you’re going to burnout,” he raised an eyebrow, “Fine, you won’t burnout. Didn’t you say you got a new hot rod a couple of days ago? We can work on that while we wait for the food to come. Please, take a break with me Tony,” you added in a pout for good measure.

   “Don’t do that. Don’t do that,” he covered his eyes, “God, I can feel it through my hand is that a thing? Can you feel things through a hand? Fine! Fine! Fine! I hate that pout of yours.”

  “You love it,” you drew out the syllables.

  “That’s why I do whatever it wants,” he sighed, “Order the stuff, meet me in the garage. I’m going to get as much as I can on the new design done before you can get there.” He rushed out the room, eager to get to work.

  As much as you hated how single minded he’d get once he got to work, but you loved how excited he’d get to bring his ideas out of his head and into the world. Tony seemed to be the only person who you could hate something about before saying something about him that you loved for the same reason. It was confusing. Well, not really, you knew what it was. The both of you did. At the end, it was agreed to leave it on the back burner.

  You ordered the food and gave Tony time to play with his toys. He was smart, by the time the food came he’d probably be light years ahead of where he had been. The food came thirty minutes later, you payed the delivery man, leaving him with the usual Stark tip of $100. The food in hand, you grabbed a couple of cans of soda and walked down to the garage.

  “I thought we had a date,” Tony said, hearing the door open.

  “I figured if I left you with your new design for a while, you’d scratch your itch. Then it would be easier to have your full attention later.”

  “You know me so well, I love it. I love you. Now, please give me that food.” You places a foam box and a drink in front of him, “Beautiful. Perfect. Amazing. You can be my queen.”

  “Calm down, Tony. It’s just food, honey.”

  “I didn’t know I was hungry, until now. Thank you, dear.”

  The two of you ate in silence for a while. “So how’s being Mr. CEO?”

  “Tough. Well, not tough. The job is easy, but the people either feel too much pity or complain about my social life and my ability.”

  “You’re young. They see you as their kids telling them what to do. As for the pity, it’ll wear off.”

  “It’s been months. How much longer until it does? I’m tired of being ‘The orphan kid with too much power’.”

  “Headline?”

  “Yeah,” he sighed, “When is someone else going to do something big?”

  “I don’t know. Hey, honey, talk to me,” you ran a hand through his hair moving it out of his eyes and rested your hand on his cheek, “You never pay attention to head lines, you’re drinking and sleeping around a lot more. I’m not judging you, it’s just an observation. It’s just, Tony, you would usually do all this when there was a party.”

  He leaned into your hand. “I know you don’t judge me. You never do. Something in me knows I’m avoiding feeling it and I’m probably going to dive into the deep end. I just don’t want to think about dealing with it at all.”

  You nodded sympathetically, “Then if you don’t want to keep going as you are. Just promise me you’ll stay safe and talk to Rhodey or me whenever it gets tough. We can wait until you’re ready. Promise?”

  “Promise.” He pressed a quick kiss to your cheek, pulling away and standing up with a cough. “Didn’t you want to help fix up the new hot rod?”

  Just like that the curtain was pulled shut again. You didn’t mind, there would be other glimpses. He pulled the cover off of the car.

  “Wow, she’s beautiful.”

  “I know. I’m pretty sure I’ll name her YN,” he said, not with the usual smirk, but a smile.

  You laughed, “I don’t think so.”

  “Why not? You named a bear after me!”

  “He was cute and cuddly!”

  “She’s beautiful and once we fix up everything she’ll be as strong as you.”

  “I can’t believe I’m going to have a car named after me. We need to name something after Rhodey.”

  “Yes!” He raised his arms in victory, “Oh, we will.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah, our first kid. Do you think Rhodey is a unisex name?”

  “You’re talking about a kid now too? Didn’t pin you down for someone who wants kids,” you flicked his nose, “I think it fits. Sounds like it could pass.”

  “Well, not right now. Maybe one day? If it happens, it happens,” he shrugged, “I’ll put Rhodey down on the list of possibilities. Now,” he opened up the hood, “I’m going to teach you a thing or two.”

   Tony had done a once over on his newest car. All of his parts have been ordered a while ago, but he never got around to fixing it up. Now, he was glad he postponed. He refused to touch any of the tools, preferring to give you careful instructions. There wasn’t much work. If it was just himself, he could have knocked it out with in the hour. Though doing it slow helped him appreciate the work he wouldn’t think twice about. A handful of hours later you were sat in the drivers seat, Tony looking prideful.

  “C’mon, babygirl, why are you waiting? I know you got this. Turn the key.”

  You turned the key nervously. The car came on with a quiet purr. “Tony! We did it!” Getting out of the car, you gave him a tight hug.

  “You did it,” he pressed a kiss to the top of your head, “I was nothing more than the cook book. Besides, you and I do amazing together.”

  “Come on, take some of the credit.”

  “You’re right, at least 75% of the credit is mine.”

  “That’s my Tony.”

  “My turn. You somehow managed to get yourself covered in oil when there was virtually none involved. Go take a shower, dear.”

  “There was some and you let go of the bottle before I got a grasp on it,” you corrected, sticking your tongue out at him. You ran your finger through some oil that was on your arm and rubbed it on his face.

  “Now who’s childish?” He asked, making a face.

  “Still you.” You pressed a kiss to his cheek. “I’m going to shower. All of this oil feels gross. We’re going to lay down as soon as I get out. Work on your design. I’ll come get you.”

  He all but ran back to his work papers, “Thank you.” You patted Dum-E on your way out. “Hey, don’t. He’s grounded.”

  “Dum-E does his best. Leave him alone.”

  You made your way up the stairs, deciding the shower in his room would be best since your clothes were already nearby. The shower was quick, but it felt a hell of a lot better when all of the oil was off. You got dressed in the bathroom and walked out.

  “I’m convinced you only come over to wear as many of my shirts as possible.” He was sat at his desk.

  “They’re comfortable! Besides I only wear the ones you have doubles of. Why are you up here?”

  “You sing in the shower. I wanted to listen and work.”

  “Tones, you realize that sounds the slightest bit creepy.”

  “But if we were in a lovey dovey movie, it would be considered the epitome of romance. Ready to sleep?” He asked, giving one sad glance at his work.

  “Yeah, come on.” You held your hand out to him.

  “Where do you want to go?” He looked confused as he took your hand.

  “We’re sleeping in Rhodey’s usual room. I’m not down to sleep in your messy sheets.”

  “Why his room specifically?” He followed you.

  “His room smells like his cologne and it’s homey.”

  You laid down on the bed and he followed soon after. Immediately you cuddled into his side, already feeling drowsy.

  “Why do you always want to sleep with me?”

  “You’re comfy and warm. Besides, we’ve always slept together. It’s habit. I guess it’s a habit I have to grow out once you get cozy with someone.”

  “No. You don’t,” he scoffed.

  “I don’t think whoever you’re with would appreciate me constantly taking naps with you.”

  “It’ll be fine.”

  “So they can take naps with whoever?”

  “...Sure.”

  “You hesitated.”

  There was a knock outside of the room, “Since neither of you are going to make a move anytime soon. Why are the two of you all cuddled up in my bed?”

  “Tony’s bed has germs. He had someone over.”

 “And you put him in my bed?”

 “Yes, hi, Tony’s here and he showered,” Tony answered, tired of being talked of like he wasn’t there. “Come on Rhodes, join the cuddle parade.”

  “Come on Rhodey!”

  He shrugged, “What do I have to lose? Make some room YN.”

  You cuddled up in between the both of them. “My boys. Ugh, I love the two of you.” You pressed a kiss to both of their heads.

  “So, how long are you sticking around this time YN?” Rhodes asked, playing with your hand.

  “Just a week. You?”

  “Ten days.”

  “That means you have to take the week off with us Tones.” You poked him in the ribs.

  “We could go to Italy? What?” He looked confused when the both of you groaned.

  “I just flew back.”

  “I don’t wanna go anywhere far.”

  “The two are you are kill joys. Vegas?”

  You and Rhodey looked at each other.

  “Yeah, that’s cool,” Rhodey answered for the both of you.

  “I hate when the both of you do that look talk. It’s fucking creepy,” Tony said, shivering for affect.

  “I hate it when you’re a drama queen yet here we are. Now, go to sleep the both of you,” you yawned, “Tony, if you get out of this bed and work on that new design of yours, I’ll make Rhodey hide all your things.”

  “The platypus wouldn’t.”

  “The platypus would if she asked.”

  “All our time. Everything we ever did for one another and without a second thought, betrayed.”

  “You’re rich, get used to it. Go to sleep, Tony.”

  “Feeling the love guys. Really. Night sweetheart. Night platypus.”

Tag: @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked @skeletoresinthebasement @nerissa98 @mala-firebringer @lanilovespsychos @the-blue-haired-boy @firedolphin04 @kasiarella @princess76179 @geeksareunique @random-fandom-lady @thevanishedillusion @jessicaguerreiro07 @125bluemachine125 @charlotte-of-the-enterprise @that-dam-percabeth-shipper @thedaydreamerrrr @danabuggxd @whatstruthgottodowithit @ceruleanjones @ailynalonso15 

[crycowboy-moved]

antigone funn my beloved...babygirl you are so strange and unsettling