#bad ending is they kill caleb. well. bren

[wizardnuke]

sorry imtbeing tormented by visions of a caleb who left the m9 meeting them again months down the road. that would go crazy. that would have gone crazy if that was canon/even if we didn't know him as well he would still be, at the very least, the man who loved nott. yknow. we would be making essays on the potential he had had. and the tonal shift of caleb vs bren

[nellasbookplanet]

Thinking about Molly, and Kingsley, and Lucien, about memory and identity and the nature of personhood.

Because what is personhood, really? Molly wasn't Lucien and Lucien wasn't Molly, but Molly remembered enough of Lucien to know he didn’t like him, and Lucien remembered enough of Molly to keep him from killing the Nein.

Kingsley isn't Molly. Or is he? He has emotional memories of the Nein, Yasha especially. He dreamed of a circus. Is he the same piece of soul that once grew into Molly, washed clean once again? Or is he just the same body, carrying recollection etched into the flesh like muscle memory? What’s the difference between body and personhood, anyway?

And even if he truly is Molly, wiped clean and new, is he actually Molly? Because what are we if not our memories, the experiences that shape our personalities? Molly 'grew up' in the circus, gained his idea of style from there; Kingsley, meanwhile, having never had anything to do with a circus, took one look at Molly's outfit and declared it garish.

In the end, it’s irrelevant whether Molly and Kingsley are the same person. They decided to make themselves, create their own identities out of what they'd been given. Maybe on some physiological level they are the same, but functionally they are not and never will be, because they do not share experiences and memories.

This intersection of body, choice and identity is something of a theme in c2. Veth and Nott are the same person, but they are also not. Nott is reshaped not only by the trauma she experienced, but also by being trapped in a body so different from her own. Her feelings get heightened, her personality a little sharper. Bren and Caleb are the same, but also not. So much of Caleb's journey is shaped by letting go of the guilt his past self carries, while also embracing and forgiving the manipulated child he used to be. Yasha was not the one who chose to commit the evils she did while mind controlled, yet she remembers doing them, and carries the guilt of them as well. Both she and Molly have holes in their memories where they know they must’ve done bad things, but while Molly decided someone other than him carries the guilt, Yasha does not. Both of these are valid choices. They themselves decide who they are.

The entire Kryn dynasty is built around the concept of being born as one person, shaped by childhood and family, only to in your teens experience anamnesis and remember being someone completely different and much, much older, and being expected to step up and take this stranger's place (god I wish we got to meet one of those Empire kids who were actually reborn Dynasty citizens).

So what is personhood, really? When can you choose who you are, and when do you need to accept your sins and face the music?

[eponymous-rose]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E129 (March 16, 2021)

Tonight’s guests are Matt Mercer and Taliesin Jaffe!

Matt, on DMing Luc’s Revivify: “That was weird. It’s one thing when it happens because of player action and circumstances and the choices they make. When it’s entirely on me, unintentional, and just realizing different chess pieces you’ve set up, that’s rough.” It was especially rough since this was a child NPC related to a PC. “I was hoping somebody had a spell slot left.” He kept in mind that there are two clerics in the room and that they could resurrect the next day even if the Revivify went poorly. “A good chance, since it’s his first time. Okay, okay, okay, okay, I think we’ll be okay, we’ll see how this goes. It was really stressful in the moment! I did not set out to have that happen, but when I realized what was going to happen, I tried to see it through.” He wouldn’t have prevented a chance to bring him back. “There may have been an offshoot short-run series of games to find a way to bring him back. I would have found some way to correct the circumstance so the players could feel good about moving forward with the story and there was no undue punishment beyond their control.”

Taliesin on Cad’s response: “This is a big thing if you’re a cleric. It was very much coming in like an EMT. Everything should be fine... hopefully. Just focused in and got it done. The minute things started to go south it was like, okay, that’s the next problem.”

On Yeza’s feelings: “It is a very complicated situation. I think he, much like how Veth is trying to figure out what it is that she wants, I think he’s trying to help her find that while also figuring it out for himself. I think Yeza’s also noticing that because Veth’s the more active of the two of them she also takes the weight of the responsibility and the blame for things when they go wrong, unnecessarily. Especially when he himself acknowledges that he’s partially at fault for even dragging everyone in with the Conclave. As much as he’s appreciative for them coming back for him, there’s a lot of back and forth. He’s filled with a lot of regret, too, but he’s very much trying to convince Veth that it’s a burden that she doesn’t have to keep to herself, that they can share it and work through it together.” Matt mentions that, as an actor, he really loves exploring interactions between characters first and foremost. “Especially when you don’t know where it’s going to go.” He also praises Sam as a scene partner - “I really cherish that.”

How does Caduceus feel about Revivify and Speak with Dead? “Speak with Dead is an interesting middle ground, because he knows that it’s not actually speaking with the dead. It’s really just-- it’s almost medical, really. This is just reactivating a brain at a certain point. It’s practically just a muscle twitch at this point. That doesn’t really prod him in that direction. Revivify is interesting, because it had never really come up. At first I thought of it as bending the rules, but it’s not bending the rules. You knock over a plant, you replant it, you don’t stare at it and go ‘Well, that’s over.’ This is just doing the work. No, we can bring this thing back to health. This is all part of the circle of life, that sometimes we can save something. Especially given the stress that he’s put himself through over the past year of being with these people. He’s started to think of himself a bit as a battlefield medic, and triage is just part of the deal, and it’s completely acceptable.”

Did Trent really just want to talk? “Yeah, that circumstance, as it came together, Trent would never have arrived if there wasn’t an indication that there was some kind of infiltration or attack. Even beyond that, it was Jester breaking the concentration on her charm on that one guard when she created her duplicate.” The guards’ job is to inform a member of the Cerberus Assembly, and Trent lived the closest. “He didn’t know who it was, didn’t have any expectation necessarily. The minute he saw the illusion, he knew a powerful magic user was involved.” Seeing Caleb was an unexpected surprise. “I don’t think he wanted to throw down necessarily. He was more interested in figuring out exactly what the nature of this was.” Matt had multiple battlemaps that didn’t get used. “They managed to cleverly out-maneuver him in his surprise of seeing them.” The Nein rocketed up his priority list after that very quickly. Taliesin: “We’re so fucked.”

On Cad being “Uncle Caduceus” to Luc: “It’s the thing he misses most about home, is being a juvenile shit. It’s nice to be able to express that part of him again, as opposed to the serious, life-threatening, constant intensity. I’m very at home just being a little difficult.”

Cosplay of the Week: an amazing Beau! (_rumor_king, photography by kourtyardproductions on Instagram)

On Marion: “Like a lot of people in this whole narrative from the beginning, getting swept up in things larger than her and trying to adapt. This is a circumstance she’s avoided for a long time. She’s having a rough time in some ways, but simultaneously, she’s enduring. Like a mother would. She’s adapting, she’s making it work. Without much of a choice, you just kind of do the best you can and lean on the people around you to help you where they can. Luckily she has a daughter there. She’s probably surprising herself at how well she’s doing given the circumstances.” Matt talks about how weird it is to feel proud of character he’s created. “Of the many things Marion is incredible at, she’s a studier of the human condition. She’s seen and heard the stories of so many. That gives her a very special perspective. She can see elements of that fractured individual within Caleb, and knowing the good that he’s brought to his friends, and knowing he’s possibly saved her life from bad circumstances, she couldn’t not speak up. She very easily falls into that role of maternal comforter, because it’s one of the many things she’s really good at, she enjoys it, and she can see well when people need it.” He’s been enjoying having Marion along for this (despite the difficult circumstances) because he was always a little sad that they only got to see her for short periods of time.

On the Blooming Grove’s safety: “He’s afraid that it’s a premonition. He’s not pinned it down, but he’s happy to let his imagination wander. He at the very least feels like there’s a reason he’s having these thoughts, and that there’s a reason to go there. He’s a big believer that these things don’t just happen. He’s more likely to think that there’s a good reason to go versus a danger to go. He’s had a couple of ominous warnings lately, and he’s not used to them and not a fan. He’s more likely to read something like that as, there is something there waiting for you that you have to discover. There is something that is going to be helpful to you, even if it hurts.”

On Astrid: “While maybe not as readable in overall personality as Trent is, I still want to be careful to not discuss things that are still being discussed within the game and tossed around as possibilities. Astrid is another complicated character, as anyone would be who’s been through the life she has. I can’t say too much. I can say she’s definitely legitimately happy to see Bren/Caleb after all this time.” His reemergence definitely caught her off guard. “We’ll have to see where it goes from there.”

On Cad’s successful Divine Intervention: “He’s definitely hit the ‘on a mission from god’ stage. He’s been that way for the entire campaign of, this, this is what I’ve been waiting for. Even when it sucks a lot, it’s been nice that those things have popped up to remind him, no, no, you’re doing it right, everything’s good. Probably not going to survive the next week, but you’re doing good! Not quite 1 in a 100 chance, but I forget so often to make that roll, and it’s such a great roleplaying roll. I don’t know how at level 20 you could deal with the fact that you can do that every day.” 

On Zeenoth getting his comeuppance: the kidnapping was a concept Marisha brought up for Beau’s backstory, and Matt went with it even though it was opposed to the Cobalt Soul’s philosophy because he knew rooting it out would make for an interesting story. “I felt it was an important beat to bring to her, because it was something that she was wronged by. And to show that there are still some good people out there who are trying to make things right.” After the tentative peace, dealing with this became Dairon’s next focus. “I was glad we finally got to it. So many people don’t have the opportunity in their lives to get that sort of justice and vindication, so if I can bring elements of that justice into our world, even for our own hope, I’m going to do that. Especially for my wife’s character, especially for a character that deserves that.” Taliesin points out that if it had come too early, Beau wouldn’t have believed it.

Cad’s thoughts on the Tomb Taker betrayal? “He knew it was gonna come at some point. There was no way that was gonna last. He was hoping it was gonna last a little longer. He was really hoping they had a vested interest in getting them all the way to the end. Nope, this is apparently as far as we go, and he was not prepared for that.” He was expecting the potential for de-escalation. “Caduceus is the only character in there that doesn’t have a history with Lucien. I think he sees him a little more clearly than everybody else does. They’re all looking for this person that Clay, at least, is of the opinion that he’s just not there. This is a very manipulative, very dangerous infernal human. Just smarter than all of them. Really aware that there is no calculating what the hell is going to happen. Conversation is the only way you can deal with someone like that.”

Fan Art of the Week: An amazing Caleb closeup! (rynn_birb on Twitter)

Taliesin on Lucien: “I’m excited he’s the one that’s going to kill us all. Poetic that this is how the game ends.” Matt was delighted when Taliesin handed him carte blanche to do what he wanted with Molly’s past. “I was like ‘shit... oh, wait!’ The character of Lucien was always intended to be an antagonist so that it would have been Molly being chased by the person who wanted their body back. But then it happened that he got his body back.” Taliesin: “He’s so much worse than I ever hoped.”

Matt, on the Holy Avenger: “I hadn’t thought to initially even give that sword.” The good roll was the only reason Kima handed that over. “Well, sure, you get the sword. It was very reactionary, it wasn’t my intent originally. I was like, well, I mean, there’s two avenues she can take with this.” Multiclass into Paladin, or lean into the fact that her subclass is essentially a barbarian paladin. “This really works out in a uniquely beautiful way. Let me see if I can lay out a path for her to earn it.”

On Cad’s attempt at lying blowing up in his face: “He was like that kid that had a really bad day in high school and was like, you know what? I’m going to let loose. This is it. I’m gonna dye a streak in my hair. And then tries to give himself a haircut and ends up with half bangs. Well, okay, obviously I’m not that person. I was feeling a little distraught and I didn’t handle it well. Maybe I’m going dark... no, I’m not going dark. Nope.” Matt mentions how much he relates to Caduceus.

Matt, on the Eyes: “What can I tell you? I’m enjoying the hell out of it. The moment they began to really push to read that book, I was like, okay, this is on you. I’m excited for the point in the narrative where the march continues back to Eiselcross. I am almost impatient - not really - because we’re on the cusp of getting to more of the meat. There’s so much to learn, so much to see, so much to explore. I love instilling my players with absolute terror.”

Thoughts on Jester’s Tarot reading? Taliesin cackles. “Molly made the cards, so. Did it to himself, he did, he did.” Matt: “Once again, another example of things working out unexpectedly and too perfectly for an improvised moment. Fuck.” Taliesin: “Bless the wisdom of chaos.” Matt: “I love that even at this point in the campaign, Molly continues to fuck with people. I’m just so proud. That deeply shook Lucien, for reasons.” Taliesin: “It’s the everlasting gobstopper smoke bomb.”

[lesferatu]

Just some thoughts on second chances that I wrote the night of the CR campaign finale but forgot to post till right now. As such, it is a reflection on the campaign before the wrap up and I really don't feel like going through it to see if my opinion changed after the wrap up, so here ya go.

Spoilers for character arcs through out the campaign and episode 141 (as well as a Long Post) below cut

The Mighty Nein campaign has been a story of second chances and living beyond your past while staying true to who you are. And love...lots of it.

Fjord was a sailor who followed more than he lived for himself. Vandren showed him how to be a sailor and how to be the man he grew into and, in the end, he tried to become Vandren. Fjord's second chance came twice with a sword and a patron. His first second chance was a false start but one that let him reach his true self through trial, error, and struggle. His second second chance was a much softer beginning; surrounded by friends who loved him for all he was and could be, with a Goddess who cares at his back and a purpose of his own choosing to drive him. He found someone who loved him for who he was, not how he presented himself to the world.

In the end, Fjord is still a sailor but one who lives and loves on his own terms and fjorges his own way.

Jester lived a sheltered life but one full of love and chaos. It was never bad or one not worth living, but for her it was incomplete. Her mother hid her from the world with good intent but it left her naïve of the true nature of the world; books can only teach you so much about life and often it is a romanticized version. Jester's second chance came of her own making early on and yet took a long time to come to fruition. She locked that man on the balcony and, in the end, was shunted into a world she knew about in theory but was clueless of in practice: the real story her books were based on. She spent the campaign becoming disillusioned with the idea of story book love and life and yet found a real love and life along the way. 

Jester never loses her love of romance, stories, and fantasy but found the truth in them all the same that made life real.

Yasha lived a life given and taken from her against her will for many decades. Her clan dictated so much of her destiny that, when she chose to find her own pocket of happiness within it, said destiny was ripped from her along with that happiness. That loss became the chains that a new given destiny used to bind her against her will once more; her mind was taken as well as her life so that no pockets of happiness could be found again. Yasha's second chance came with Mollymauk, then the Mighty Nein, then Beau; choices upon choices that given destiny tried to take once more but, in the end, free will won. 

Yasha lost so much because of love–or rather because of other's reaction to said love–but love saved her in the end. She loved so hard, she found her own destiny, broke the chains that held her, and now her pockets of happiness are overflowing.

Beau's life was one of bucking the system and ignoring expectations. She was forced to live her father's regret and fear and rebelled hard against both. Her rebellion got her trapped by the system she tried to escape. That system taught her much and yet, when she was let loose from it, she rebelled once more. Anger and snark can only get you so far and, in the end, it was love and learning that got her farther. She thought her fists were her best quality but her mind was as sharp as her strikes and tongue. Once she let herself use it to its fullest, she cut through every mystery in her way. Beau’s second chance came through her friends and understanding how the world wasn't always out to get her and, when it is, it is possible to fight it in a way that changes the world and doesn’t just spite it. She grew into a friend, a lover, and a revolutionary; she went her own way and the system had to struggle to keep up with her. Closure she didn't know she needed was given to her but her second chance was something she made herself.

Beau is still angry and rebellious but she has a true family and influence to back it up. She allowed herself to be soft and it made her strong.

Caleb life was forged for him through pain–his own and others–and manipulation. He was naïve in a destructive way; loyal and trusting to a fault...but to the wrong man, the wrong cause. His trust got his parents killed and his life ruined. He didn't want a second chance–didn't think he deserved one–but one came to him anyway in the form of a wild group of chaotic idiots and love in many forms. It came in the form of his friends, of a chance to right wrongs–though not his own for the longest time–and in seeing himself in another and offering the forgiveness his new family offered him. It came in the form of an unexpected fight and a legal battle, both fought with his new family at his side. He got revenge for his old self, his old family and loves.

Caleb is not Bren–not truly...anymore–but Caleb can live with that. He found his purpose in making sure that no more Brens have to become Calebs and finding forgiveness and love–however bittersweet in the end–with his narrative foil and the friends who dragged him to redemption.

Veth is another who's life was taken from her. Yes, eventually by death but first by bullies. She was made to hate herself by the cruelty of society and, though she found love and happiness through that, she never let herself be all she could; she could only see what she was not. And Nott she became and she hated Nott. But love saved her; not love for who she used to be, nor who she could be in the future, but who she was right at that moment. It was the love of her friends, her husband, and herself that saved her. Her second chance was finding her way back to her first, but with an understanding of who she truly is; brave, true, smart, and a great mother.

Veth was Nott but she was not...not and by finding the truth in that statement, Nott became Veth. Veth chose the soft life once more in the end but this time of her own volition and it was her found courage that allowed her to do it. 

Caduceus is another sheltered soul but this time of his own choice, though he didn't really think of it that way. He thought he needed to wait for someone to tell him his purpose and he thought someone had when grieving chaos fell upon his doorstep. He helped them find vengeance and closure and that could have been it, but he stayed, sure that he was supposed to. In doing so, he found his family twice–both metaphorically in the Nein and physically at the Menagerie– and found both his purpose and his choice. He led another to salvation just by being himself and a good friend. Caduceus's second chance came by figuring out his given destiny was given by himself, by the adventure he found along the way, and the chosen purpose he found in the end.

Caduceus is the favorite of the Wild Mother and the best friend anyone could ever want, and he chose to be so by following the first chaos he found.

Essek life was, sadly by Dynasty standards, his own; he was not a lost soul given life once more but a new one given power. Knowledge was his driving force and it led to the ruin of many; He wasn't allowed to do what he wanted...so he did what he wanted anyway and it inadvertently started a war. He was okay with that, truly, until the Mighty Nein stumbled into his life and suddenly he was very much not. It was not a betrayal really–though he was definitely guilty of treason–but it was the loss of the Mighty Nein's trust that he feared the most and felt the most when he finally lost it, however briefly. He thought he has lost the only true family he had but really he had found a life to live. His second chance came when he chose to live that life.

Essek's life wasn't given to him so he took it for himself and it ruined him...but love built him back up and showed him that it was better to live life to change than it was to wallow in guilt.

Molly's life, in itself, was a second chance, though not one asked for by Lucien. He forged forward and made it his own. He loved and he created and he left everywhere he went better than when he got there. We never got to see the true end of his new start. Life is not always fair and not every second chance works out in the end...that is, until the end of Lucien. Molly fought to make his new life his own and how dare his original self try and tear down his progress!

Molly's second chance was cut short when he died for his friends and he died once more helping his friends make sure his first chance didn't ruin it.

Kingsley's life, again, was an enforced second chance, though one Molly would approve of. Molly didn't dwell on the past and neither will his brother, his new self. Kingsley saw the love in the Mighty Nein's eyes and never questioned it; all he asked was that he could learn it on his own. He woke up to chaos and love and he embraced it. Molly would have never wanted to be dwelled upon in a way that stifled change and Kingsley lived that. Kingsley's second chance came in the form of a new life and a new coat, but the same friends. He grew into his own self before learning what was taken from the group he had learned to love. The Mighty Nein could have seen him as Molly, could have tried to force him into the hole in their heart and he probably wouldn't have blamed them, yet he was Kingsley in their eyes and he loved them all the more for it. 

Kingsley's life lives true to Molly's ideas of the past: forget it and continue forward and live every second of it to the fullest. His second chance is in the works but he's not hesitating for one second.

The Mighty Nein were a group a fuck ups from the start; barely contained chaos which changed and grew and erupted at every turn. They were volatile at the beginning yet as ride or die as any adventuring party should be. They did not experience the world separately but as a team; each second chance a member got–whether it was sought after or not–was a chance to learn and grow together and grow closer. Their second chance came when a leetle teifling girl walked over to engage with a smelly man and a “halfling” and a purple man and an angel convinced them all to go to the circus

They will always be a chaotic bunch of assholes, no matter how far apart they travel, but now they are a family and nobody can take that from them.

[professorthaddeus]

Out of Sight

This is a companion piece to @io-kj-cr‘s heartbreaking fic, Decisions, an AU of 2x128 where Caleb gives himself up to Trent. Would highly recommend checking it out!

also on ao3

—————————— 

They let him go. 

The chips were down, they were out of options with enemies at the door, Mama and Yeza and little Luc were not going to be trapped in a building with Icky-thong, and in that moment of weakness, they let him go.

“Cad, what do you see?” Fjord, grim. Caduceus is standing at the one window in the room, chosen for his keen ability to read people to keep an eye on the exchange.

The exchange. They’re selling Caleb back to the grossest person in the Empire, to his literal lifelong tormentor, and they’re just sitting here like it’s nothing. 

“They’re not hurting him. They’re just talking.” Caduceus’ voice rumbles in a steady cadence, ever the rock in the rapids. But Jester sees how his knuckles are clenched white around his staff. 

“Is he… how does he look?”

Veth, piping up from the floor, clutching Caleb’s spellbooks to her chest. Yeza’s holding her, Luc sitting uncharacteristically still by their side. He’s got a book in his hands as well. Jester’s heart thuds painfully when she recognizes the title as a collection of Zemnian fairy tales.

“He’s standing tall.”

Of course he is. They’ve all seen Caleb file away his fears and stitch himself together in the moments that really count. They’ve also seen him shake apart immediately afterwards.

This time, none of them are going to be there to help him pick up the pieces.

“This doesn’t sit well with me,” Yasha says quietly, fingers twitching toward her swords.

“Yeah, no shit.” Beau, pacing, coiled like she’s ready to pounce. “This was such a bad plan. I say we go ahead and attack them now. They’re busy with Caleb, so we could absolutely ambush them in a pincer move, or—“

“They’re gone.”

“What do you mean, gone?” Beau rushes to the window, where Caduceus is stepping aside. He leans back against the wall, looking lost in a way Jester hasn’t seen since his first time on the sea.

“I mean he and his friends stepped into a portal and disappeared.”

Beau’s jaw tightens. “They’re not his friends.”

“I don’t know,” Fjord murmurs, though Jester knows he would definitely be fuming as well if Beau wasn’t so close to the edge right now. “They did warn us they were coming.” He holds up his hands when Beau shoots him a withering look. “It could be a good thing. They might help us get him back.”

“With or without their help, I wasn’t kidding when I said our next step was going to be a jailbreak,” she mutters.

“Agreed.”

Veth lets out a shaky breath. “And he’ll be okay until then. He just has to hold on for one night, and we’ll go get him. He’s the smartest, most capable of us all; he’ll be fine.”

“Yeah, he’s way more powerful than them,” Jester adds, automatic. Something twists in her chest.

“Sure, except he doesn’t even have his fucking spellbooks.”

For once, Veth flinches instead of snapping a retort back at Beau.

“You keep these safe for me until I return, ja?”

“I don’t like this, Cay. There has to be another way.” There’s a tremor in Veth’s hands as she takes the books.

“There isn’t, and we are running out of time. Besides, he won’t kill me. He… ah, he has said many times already he simply wishes to talk.”

Jester winces. It’s going to be a long time before she forgets the haunted look that appeared in Caleb’s eyes every time Trent’s voice slithered into his ear today.

“Be good for your mother and father,” Caleb’s saying, ruffling Luc’s hair. 

He straightens to look at the rest of them, meeting their eyes one by one. Jester can almost hear him counting in his head. 

A wall slams down over his expression as he squares his shoulders.

“I am so sorry about all this.” He continues before any of them can protest. “Thank you all.”

Jester tries not to think it sounds like a goodbye.

She shoves the image of Caleb’s pale, determined face out of her head, swallowing the building lump in her throat. The last thing she needs—the last thing Mama needs—is for her to break down right now. 

“Well,” she hedges into the silence, “he’s got like, a really good memory, you guys. Maybe he doesn’t need them. Maybe he remembers all his spells.”

“I don’t—“ Beau starts, before taking a deep breath. Yasha’s hand is slipping into hers. She softens her tone. “I don’t think that’s how it works, Jes.”

“Oh.”

“Jester, I’m so sorry.” Mama speaks up from where she’s been sitting anxiously beside her. There’s so much regret in her face. “Your friend, he—”

“No, no, Mama, no.” She’s been so strong today, and Jester’s so, so proud of her for facing her fears, but she never should have been forced to do it. “This isn’t your fault at all. We brought them to you.”

Technically, she brought them here. Caleb can blame himself all he wants, but Jester’s the one who put a target on Nicodranas in that letter to Astrid all those months ago and the one who dropped Mama’s name into a conversation with an enemy guard just a few hours ago.

“Who… are they?”

“They’re, um.” Her voice wavers. She swallows again. “They’re bad people. Really, really bad people.”

“Oh, my Sapphire,” Mama hums, and it’s kind of crazy how those three words can sound like music from her lips. She reaches up to cup Jester’s cheek. “You and your friends are some of the most amazing people I’ve met. “And you,” she brushes her thumb gently across her skin, “are more creative than anyone in the world. You’ll find a way.”

Mama presses a kiss to the top of her head and then takes her hands. They’re smooth, warm. Jester looks down. Red and blue, just like when she was little, except now her hands can’t be fully covered by Mama’s. She’s grown up and stepped out of Mama’s arms and the sanctuary of their Chateau. Just like she always dreamed and plotted with Artie. It’s all she can do not to cry.

“Yeah. Yeah, you’re right,” she manages, tries for a watery smile.

“Jester,” Yasha ventures gingerly. “Can’t you talk to him?”

She shakes her head, blinking away the blurriness. “Not until tomorrow. I don’t have the energy left to cast a spell.” 

Caduceus clears his throat. “Good.” The rest of them look to him, startled. “Now there’s nothing to do but get some sleep so we’ll be ready for tomorrow. Mr. Wensforth, can you help us set something up for the night?”

The poor goblin looks up from where he’s been wringing his hands in the corner. Jester doesn’t blame him. 

Man, Yussa’s gonna be super pissed when he wakes up to find so many people in his tower.

She can’t imagine how she’s supposed to fall asleep, but Caduceus makes her drink some tea, and eventually she feels the tension of the day seep into her bones. Before it claims her consciousness, she brings the symbol of the Traveler to her chest.

“Artie, look out for him, okay?”

——— 

In the morning, Beau and Caduceus wake her and the others, careful not to disturb Mama, Yeza, or Luc.

Jester tucks the blanket around Mama a little more securely before heading out.

They all cluster together in a smaller room off of one of the tower’s winding stairwells. Caduceus starts passing around breakfast, but she declines, sitting in the middle of the floor instead and prepping a familiar spell. 

Fjord gives her an encouraging nod, holding ten fingers up at the ready. 

She focuses on the image of her friend, on the furrow in his brow as he wields magic like a weapon, on the way his eyes crinkle when he offers one of his soft, rare smiles. She fires up Sending.

“Caleb! Are you alright? Where are you? Are you hurt? Are you in Rexxentrum? I’m sorry, I had to wait until today to Send to reach you but we’re—”

Fjord’s nudging her, signaling the end of the spell. Jester blows a strand of hair out of her face, tapping her fingers against her knee.

She waits five seconds, ten, a minute. No response.

She bites her lip. “You guys—”

Beau’s there already, tugging her into a hug as Fjord gives her shoulder a reassuring squeeze. Veth lets out a muffled noise of frustration.

“He could just not be in a place where he can talk freely right now, we don’t know,” Caduceus says evenly.

“Maybe I should try Astrid?”

Beau shifts, but she doesn’t let go. “I dunno, man, I don’t trust her.”

“She loves Caleb,” Veth says, but again, none of her usual ferocity is there.

“Yeah, maybe.” Beau’s face darkens. “And now she has him back.”

Her words hang heavy in the air.

Jester shakes herself. “Look, fuck it, I’m just going to do it.” She takes a deep breath.

“Astrid,” she chirps. “Is Caleb with you? Tell him to talk to me when he can. Oh also, if any of you hurt him, we’re totally gonna find you and make sure you never—”

“That’s it, Jester.”

“You should send another one. Let her hear the end of your threat,” Yasha says, and Jester swears she can hear thunder roll beneath the mild suggestion.

Fjord cracks something resembling a smile. “As entertaining as that would be, I think—“

Jester shushes them as Astrid’s voice comes back. 

Good morning, Jester. Bren is well and unharmed. He is here with us and under no restraints or compulsion. He is home now.

Jester growls. 

“What did she say?”

“That Caleb’s okay and like, he’s home, or some total bullshit. She’s wrong, obviously.” She has to be. Jester ignores the building pressure in her chest, flicks her wrist to cast again.

“Please, tell me something, tell me anything, tell me you’re fine, or dead, but please, we need to hear from you, we need to plan our next moves and we can get you out of there as long as you just—” Fjord squeezes her hand. Stupid, stupid spell with stupid word limits.

Nothing on the other end anyway. Her eyes sting, and this time, Jester doesn’t try to stop the sob in her throat.

“I’ll keep messaging you, please Caleb, we’re scared and worried, please tell us where you are, we can fix this, we can get you back!”

Finally, finally, Caleb speaks.

I am well, Jester; returning was my decision, and I am unharmed.

He sounds so tired.

I need you all to stay away. Stay safe. I am sorry.

Silence once more.

Jester’s messages have reached across thousands of miles, over oceans and barren wastelands and enemy lines. This is the first time she’s felt the yawning distance the magic has to travel.

She swipes at her eyes, glaring through her tears. 

She knows what he’s doing. It’s what he’s always done, protect and shield and give and give and give like it’s all he’s good for. But she’s also seen him start to unfurl, seen him laugh more and trust more and take one careful step after another out of the shadows of his past. He knows he’s part of their family. They just need to help him remember what that means.

“He said something,” Veth guesses.

“Something awful and self-sacrificing?” Beau mutters. 

“Yeah.” 

Jester pushes back her sleeves, and she can feel a breeze drift into the chamber, the rustle of a green cloak at her side.

“It doesn’t matter. We’re going to get him, now.”

[e-one-seven]

The idea of people thinking "Caleb is talking to himself in the secret room of his tower, he is going to become evil!/he is secretly talking with someone bad!" makes me laugh so hard.

Maybe it is me as a literature student who reads what is happening to him as so painfully obvious, but I assure you that there is nothing further from the truth. Even Liam told in the Talks Machina that the chance of Caleb going willingfully bad right now is so low to be nonexistent, and that the Caleb we saw during the last episodes is the person he would have turned out to be if he never met Trent Ikithon. He is recovering, and he probably this is the finest he ever felt in the last eleven/twelve years of his life. Or at least, he was before he set foot in Eiselcross and everything went to shit.

There is a problem: for the people who experienced what Caleb experienced, hope and recovery are scary as hell. Caleb fears that if he lets completely go of his past and forgive himself for what happened, he could forget what he has done and end up to do it again. He already did it once after all, he could do it again if he gets pushed in the right direction. He needs to remind himself what exactly caused him to go bad the first time, and that his friends and their shared experiences will prevent it to happen again. He was just a kid, he was not safe back then. He is now.

Hence the eighth floor. The eighth floor of the tower is Bren's grave. Trent Ikithon killed Bren Aldric Ermendrud. It was a slow and painful process, and behind each door there is a moment when a part of Bren died until there was nothing left anymore. A grave is a place to remember the fallen ones, to feel them close enough to be able to talk to them. Caleb tries to communicate with whatever part of Bren is still alive inside himself every time he gets inside a room. He wants a confrontation between the person he used to be and the person he is now, and to see if it is possible for Bren to teach him something that Caleb can use to do good so that his utter destruction as a human being will not be completely vain.

But to Caleb, Bren is as tricky to deal with as Trent Ikithon himself: Bren is Trent's child, and he can teach him as well as corrupt him and give him bad advice, such as suggesting him to look for Astrid and Eodwulf's help. Caleb knows it is a bad idea, but Bren is suggesting him that it is the only way to prevent the Assembly to accuse the Mighty Nein of Vess DeRogna's death straight away once that they will be back to Wildemount. Even if they manage to stop Lucien, kill him and present his body to the Assembly, it could still not be enough to completely clear them: should the Assembly decide that the Mighty Nein are too dangerous to be left alive, this whole situation is giving them the opportunity to mark them for death. Bren killed for much less and Caleb knows it. This whole situation must be a living nightmare to him. (Luckily Essek's presence could give them an ally who knows the dangers to deal with such a situation and could help them prevent it to evolve into a complete disaster.)

Not to mention the effect the whole "Lucien situation" is having on him. Think about it: Caleb met Mollymauk Tealeaf, a walking rainbow who wanted to leave every town better than he found it. Someone who used to be possibly a bad person but decided to left it all behind, and that became one of the main inspirations for him to become a better person after his untimely death. It took some time but Caleb finally made it, he feels like a better person and he is starting to feel hope again. And then Molly's past caught up with him and Lucien is back, and he is every inch of the bad person Mollymauk feared he was.

By seeing this, it is impossible for Caleb not to think, "If this happened to Molly, what guarantees that it won't happen to me too?" Bren is a part of Caleb, and Caleb doesn't trust Bren. One of the deepest fear of Caleb Widogast is to wake up a morning and find out that he is still the monster Trent Ikithon turned Bren Aldric Ermendrud into, and he literally saw it happen to another person - a person he used to be close to - just a couple of hours before. He has all the rights to feel utterly freaked out by this situation, if not even teased by it. All he can do now is try to seance Bren and make sure that behind all the doors there still is a fragment of humanity that still wants what Caleb wants to achieve, that even if the worst happens and Bren is back he will not be the monster Caleb fears he would be. He needs him not to be, or feeling hope for himself would be pointless, as for what he knows right now Caleb Widogast is a creature who is living of borrowed time just like Mollymauk Tealeaf used to be.

At this point, either Caleb gained enough insight about himself to snap out of it on his own, or he needs to talk with someone with at least 18 points in Wisdom. Essek could also be an option, if Caleb feels like to have a conversation "from fellow monster to fellow monster"...

[widobravely]

What if, jester ends up telling caleb she loves/likes him and caleb doesn't think he is good enough for her SO he tells her about his parents because he thinks that jester will "see sense" and not like him anymore?

it would NOT surprise me tbh, caleb widogast being who he is! however i have my fingers crossed for caleb telling jester (and caduceus) about his past before the Evil Villain Dinner, because they shouldn't walk in there unaware. you don't know what trent would do. at the same time, i think caleb wants the clerics on his side because he wants them to greater restoration astrid and eadwulf.

personally if i were trent and i wanted to dramatically destroy caleb's friends' belief in him, i would set up a programmed image to play the moment of arson and murder, during dinner. (y'all will remember programmed image as the spell caleb spammed on rumblecusp to make all those arches and illusions for travelercon. programmed image can play an illusion for five minutes, so uh. that's fast enough to show bren setting up the family bbq.)

that said, i have not forgotten that jester believes that caleb is a good person. and that when she learned about essek's war crimes, she (forgive me, I can't remember verbatim) said that, well, since you killed a lot of people you ought to make a lot of babies to make up for it. two babies ought to be enough to make up for caleb's crimes jk

(in case it wasn't obvious, I'm teasing about the war crimes + babies to make up for the burned fam thing)

AND another thing: jester is chaotic neutral. throughout the campaign she has shown this mindset of me and mine over everyone else, no matter what they actually did. (see essek. caused a war, was immediately forgiven by jester.) i can see her saying something like "it doesn't matter what you did, you're my friend."

is that good? is that bad? it is what it is, that's all. chaotic neutral, yo.

so no, i don't think jester will push caleb away after finding out about his past. but as for "seeing sense" hm well. jester is a big girl and can make her own decisions! so whatever she decides in the light of the reveal of the family bbq........we shall abide by it.

but also caleb is a dummy sabotaging his own happiness.

this got a whole lot longer than it was supposed to, oof. i hope you saw the most recent episode because this answer is a Whole Spoiler.

[readbythestarlight]

c2e109

Sam

Why must you hurt me in this way

Any bit but a k-pop bit I beg

STOP xD

[[MORE]]

Ooooo Yasha joining the tattoo crew!!

Runes?? Orphanmaker??

Is that a name she wants to keep claiming? Reclaim??

Niiiiiice

I can’t wait for tattoo art

"The horses had dresses?"

I do NOT remember the horse dresses

Shopping episode yayyyyy!

Beau is about to get some highly illegal fireworks

lol 50 gold

"Beauregard. Pirate Beauregard."

"Interesting first name, your parents really had a plan for you."

lmao I love this

A whole fricking cart of fireworks

Oh my god this is so PRECIOUS ajslalkss I LOVE JESTER AND MARION

"I wanted to know where my family lives" that’s both funny and sad

Anyway guys I’m like kinda in love with Marion

Fjord and Yasha shopping trip?? Excellent

Alchemical Fire is something Veth will be sorry she missed

Fjord xD

They’re gonna buy something cool and have the rightful owner on their ass for it

They are having too much fun fucking with those poor shop owner xD

"5000 gold!?"

"What if we go to hell or something??!"

Do iiiiiit Yasha

lmao noPE

Yasha and Fjord are disasters together and I LOVE IT

More of them wandering off together

Matching yellow family overalls xD

Poor Yeza lol

xD Fjord

You could have had it for 5k and now you’ve spent 5500 you dork

Wait we know that name don’t we

Sutan?

Wait did they KILL that guy??

What are the odds?

Wouldn’t it be fucking amazing if they killed him with fire?

Marion with the open invitation to her ex and if he doesn’t answer it I will be SALT

Veth please, keep your bedroom stuff in the bedroom :P

Niiiiiice transporting home??

I don’t think Caleb likes the idea of leaving Veth and I get it but... he needs to understand that she needs to be home

Beau realizing she has Authority

Breaaaaak?

I just read the coin story and Lol

This store plays music when you walk in??

Good lord

This shop sounds like Jester’s prank haven

My god

It’s a shame they didn’t find this shop BEFORE traveler con

What’s this other ring I missed it

Oh the spell ring

See THAT’s 5000 well spent

They’ve cleared the stock of so many shops lol

"Anyone interested in small clay doggies?"

F: "Do they move?"

"If... you... make them...?" *wiggles hand*

These losers finally get so much money and they spend it mostly on dumb things and I love it

Please buy the unicorn and give it to Jester I beg you Fjord

Aww dancing and drinks that’s cute

Lollllll Jester

Of course

YES the unicorn

good boy Fjord!

I’m so pleased

Oh look, Jester giving her blessing for a BeauYasha kisssssss ;)

They all ship it at this point let’s be real like Jester over here giving Beau a nudge "you have to give her the chance to make that choice" and Cad with the "thinking about your future" like

Guys you’re amazing

Oh okay imma need Cad doing some bonfire dancing

And Yasha doing bonfire dancing

I NEED it

Uhhhh

WHAT

WHAT

IS BABY GIRL’S HAIR GOING

IM SO HAPPYYYYY

"How it used to be" that’s amazing I’m gonna cry

Cad: "I miss it, but I’m afraid I might miss this more." <3

"You might be stuck with us for a little while longer."

"That’s a fine future."

"Yeah."

God I’m so soft for all the soft bonding tonight!

I’m so tired I haven’t been properly following but fuck here we go

A Godkiller weapon huh

Eor is an interesting name

But yeah I’ve got a baaaad feel

Oh shit so it’s a fight to find weapons capable of destroying the gods

Oh my god, icy and desolate, he CALLED it when he said earlier they’d end up somewhere frozen xD

I like how just everyone hates Trent

Like they’re just “ew no he sucks” all the time

Too many giant floating cities going on here

They’re not going to go without Veth tho I assume

“LAAVAAAAAA!” xD

Ice breaker ship?? Nice

75,000 gold NICE

“Who are we gonna run into”

God I hope it’s hotboi

“Are you Bren?”

Shit

Matt that’s amazing

But shit

It’s gonna be fucking Trent isn’t it

You CREEP

Nasty creepy freak

Bad vibes bad vibes BAD VIBES

“A proper family reunion” I’m going to stab him

Matt you sneaky bastard

Shiiiiiiit man did not see that coming

We love you too Matt

[interestray]

it’s always a good moment when I see a critical role episode with so many things happening that my adhd can’t help but develop a mind of its own, so now that my hyper-fixations have stopped beating the shit out of me theres a couple things I wanna bring up most of it theory stuff and the rest personal things. btw its a long post be warned.

SPOILER ALERT- I’m talking about ep 117 of critical role and its a doozy.

 I’ve doing my recent posts in a different format and I’m liking it so I’m gonna use it here. btw I gonna mention some ship stuff I want to make clear I have no hate for any ships mentioned but unless I say I like the ship just assume I’m indifferent.

1. I gonna say I called it because even if I’m wrong about about future stuff I was right that it’s not just Lucien in that body, even if Lucien is completely right about molly as the group knew him is gone forever Molly (which I don’t believe at all) is still a fragment of lucien’s soul. now past that I do think molly as a conscious being is still in there and trying to connect with his friends. why? because theres this weird disconnect with how lucien acts communicating with the m9 from a far vs in person, in person it seems like he had his guard way up but when they scry or message him the barrier is lowered a bit I think when his guard isn’t up Molly bleeds into his actions and mind more. I personally see Lucien at being 130% whole because Molly grew into his own thing.

2. regarding my predictions for this episode I’m gonna give myself 2 points (with 1 of the points being made up of half points) I was hoping for flirting and I think we definitely got some version of flirting between Lucien and Caleb so I get a half point for that, not gonna lie I was a little freaked out (in a good way) how fast Lucien zeroed in on Caleb, I hope if things don’t go pear shaped we get to see those two interact more.

3. Personal thing I really wanted to smack Fjord and Veth for most of the episode like they both had moments of being rational (fjord more so) but for the most part i just want to slap them.

4. it was kind of hilarious to see how freaked out Lucien was of the m9, like there was a little of the bad kind of freaked out feeling I think it was mostly like how Ludinus felt meeting Jester. like poor Lucien he’s just doing his thing and suddenly this group of puppies imprints on him and follows him around poor guy. Seems like Lucien has so distrust towards the tomb takers with the whole ‘we are one’ thing, it seemed to be a recent development. I’ve seen people talk about whether the tomb takers/Cree will backstab Lucien I think it’s possible.

5. I think some members of the m9 have realized Caleb’s not doing ok, most likely from the corpse scene and him talking over Beau (bad caleb bad). what they do with this info is gonna be interesting I personally think Cad should talk with him in private maybe have yasha there as well (also hugs please someone hug the sad wizard man him and Yasha both need it).

6. personal thing I don’t understand jester x Fjord as a possible canon ship at this point in the story like i got it in early campaign but I think they’ve both grown and changed to the point where a relationship between the two would end quickly after starting (whether in tears or not). the only times I like seeing their romantic interactions is when Laura and Travis bleed through and at that point its nots really jester and fjord. again no hate you do you I just don’t understand the appeal.

7. I’ve not watched campaign 1 for a few reasons yet but I’ve done research on some of the bigger events one of which was Percy’s resurrection where Taliesin watched how everyone was acting to decide whether to come back or not. I think Cad’s whole talk about what the rest of the m9′s goals towards Molly/Lucien is first Taliesin’s way of deciding whether Molly will be a npc after this arc or if he picks up playing him again (this all of course depending on whether the m9′s stupid actions don’t get Lucien killed), second I think this is Cad’s way of deciding whether his “debt” is payed and if it’s time for him to leave. To be clear I don’t think this was the final decision I think it was the first step to see whether anyone could say they want their friend back and we had two (almost 3) say yeah they do so I think it was a good start.

8. I can totally see Lucien kidnapping some of the m9. this sounds weird but stick with me, it looks like the tomb takers as a whole have a few important spots missing in their mission like they (probably) have a blood cleric in Cree the goliath and halfing seems more strength based I’m not sure about the human and Lucien is filling spot of a little bit of everything. Lucien has already pointed out Caleb as being curious and smart so I think out of the party is Lucien steals any of them it will be Caleb, if not Caleb tho I think Yasha could also be one that gets his attention (especially if Lucien ever sees them fight) I don’t he would kidnap anyone unprompted but if they go through with their stupid plan I’m sure he’ll want payback.

9. I get a full point for crying at both the Yasha clover scene and Molly’s card about Caleb. 

10. So my best friend is also a fan of critical role but he always works Thursday’s so he’s behind on actively watching the shows, but I can watch them so I take notes of all the funny, interesting, and weird shit that happens then I call when he gets off work to tell him everything that happened then we talk about what we think will happen next. why does this matter? because before the molly reveal when we first heard about them going to aore (I don’t know how to spell the ruin place) I said I had a feeling Essek would probably show up and run into the m9. well I was right so i’m supper happy, hearing floaty bois voice was awesome I hope Essek and Lucien meet at some point (hopefully not while trying to kill each other that would be sad).

11. Caleb’s eighth floor is so interesting like I hope we get to see all the rooms at some point, I think the room we saw this episode was his room at the asylum (mostly from it’s disarray and how drab it was) as for who he was talking to? I’ve seen a lot of people says its Essek or Astrid (I can smell the incoming discourse) I think it’s neither, it’s probably the simplest answer himself or more specificly Bren. I think he was talking to the Bren that spent years in that bed and chair wasting away.

12. wtf do you mean the big snow worm has a double reason for hunting the party Matt?! (I have no clue what that means).

13. the m9′s decision to try and get to A2 before Lucien and take whatever is there is such a shit idea, why did he kill Vess because she was a traitor she betrayed him what are they m9 about to do betray him even after the warning about straying from the path (which btw I think was molly warning them). If they actually go through with this plan I hope Cad is right on Lucien getting amused at them instead of fucking pissed. good news is that even if they get there before Lucien they could still salvage the thing with Lucien by saying they wanted unbiased answers. I get they’re grieving and in a bunch of pain but use the common sense I know you have and learn more about whats happening before fucking it all up. (also I get half a point from Lucien kicking Vess’s body)

14. I will say I mostly loved this episode (except for the ending) but them talking about possibly scattering Lucien to get Molly back no matter how brief did unsettle me a lot. no matter my feelings about Molly this is Lucien’s body when he was scattered molly did have the right to the body so I don't think any of his actions were wrong or bad but now that Lucien is whole again his bodily autonomy should not be violated just for a unsure chance Molly would come back. As it is Lucien seemed already uneasy and annoyed with stuff molly did (ex-tattoos).

15. I originally wasn’t gonna put this point but I think I should. when Taliesin said “he thought they would be on the other side of this” I think most people thought it was in reference to how it seems like Lucien is evil (I still don’t think he is) but what if he meant Molly’s arc. think of it wouldn’t it make sense for Molly’s arc to focus on his past coming back to meet him what if they always intended for Lucien to become whole again and it was suppose to be Lucien’s thoughts/feelings bleeding into molly’s. but Molly died so instead we’re getting the inverse Lucien has to come to terms with his past as Molly and the people Molly left behind coming into his life. I think it would be a good arc him learning that you can’t run from or ignore the past no matter how much you want to it can and will come bite you in the ass. would also make sense why Lucien and Molly both have that attitude towards their pasts (you know other than being pieces of the same person). 

[sockablock]

(start) - (previous) 

Chapter 10: Familiar

It took them a moment to get their bearings.

It only took a moment. There wasn’t much here.

The Mighty Nein stood—although standing wasn’t exactly it, not really. Whatever floor existed in this new reality was strangely unreal, almost as if its ability to remain solid, or even just exist, depended solely on the whim of the stander.

Now at the center of an empty, white expanse, the Mighty Nein concentrated very hard on standing, indeed.

“It’s…blank,” whispered Beau, and her voice did not echo. Strangely, that was even more upsetting. “Why is it just…blank?”

“Do you see anything?” Veth asked. “Any sign of…anything?”

“I hear something,” Caduceus muttered. “It sounds…like crying.”

The sound crept up along walls of cotton, muted and strangled and barely-audible.

But it was there.

The Mighty Nein exchanged glances. Carefully, they began heading toward the noise.

—

It was both unsettling and rather reassuring to find out that they were not alone. Wherever this was, and whatever they were seeing, they were not the only ones in this reality.

Two humanoid shapes faded into view. The first was barely more than a body, curled in on itself, lying on the floor. The second, however, was a little boy. A gangly child, all knees and elbows, with a mop of ginger hair and a worn tunic. Tears streamed down like rivulets on his cheeks, interspersed with ripples of nose-blowing and sobs.

Veth immediately tried to move forward. She was stopped by flash of Beau’s staff.

“But he’s—”

“Are you sure?”

Veth hesitated. Then she stepped back, and Beau lowered her arm.

“You think it’s a trap?” Jester whispered. “Do you think…something bad will happen if we talk to him?”

“How much worse could it get?” Fjord murmured. His tone suggested he was trying for a joke, but the humor died on his tongue.

Caduceus looked between the two figures. Then, slowly, without getting closer, he crouched down until he was at least eye level with the boy.

“Are you…alright?” he asked gently.

The boy’s head instantly jerked up. His face was red from the crying. “I don’t...I don’t…I don’t know what I did wrong,” he wailed. “I thought I was helping, but it kept going wrong. I…snf…why didn’t it work?”

Yasha was the first to react. “Why didn’t what work?”

“The…the…memories. Why didn’t they make him happy?”

They all exchanged glances again.

Jester knelt too.

“You aren’t Caleb, are you?”

“Smf…n-no…”

“Not Bren either, I take it,” said Fjord.

“…no…”

Beauregard had her arms crossed. “Then who are you?” And her voice was dangerously quiet. “What are you doing in our friend’s head?”

“I’m—I’m supposed to make happy!” the child howled. “I’m supposed to grant his wishes. I’m supposed to show him what he wants and make a world where he feels w-w-warm and…loved.”

They watched the boy—the not-boy, whatever it was—kick the ground in frustration. “But I failed. I failed, and now he’s just like this…”

It took a considerable effort to turn their gazes to the second shape in the void. They didn’t want to think it, they wouldn’t have dared suggest it, but…well, it did look like Caleb, didn’t it? Those were his cheekbones, the line of his nose, someone had cut his hair—but the color—and then there were his eyes, the blueness of his eyes, just…half-opened, unseeing, dull…

Caduceus turned back to the child. “Then what are you?”

It blew its nose loudly into its sleeve.

“I’m the dream.”

This time, when Veth stepped forward, no one stopped her. Beauregard’s knuckles did visibly whiten, but she gritted her teeth and did not move.

Veth was just barely taller than the figure. It was the same height as the very first iteration of Caleb that they’d med, and it looked exactly like him.

“What made you?” she asked quietly.

“I don’t know,” the dream said.

“She was an elf-lady,” Jester pressed. “A sorcerer—”

But the dream just shook its head. “I don’t know,” it repeated. “I don’t…it doesn’t work like that. I just exist. I’m made by whoever imagines me, I guess. And I shape the world based on who is doing the imagining.”

Yasha nodded curtly. “Like…a peaceful town.”

“Or having friends at a school,” Fjord added.

“Exactly,” the dream nodded miserably. “Except…it all kept going wrong. You all weren’t supposed to be there, you know. You still aren’t supposed to be here.”

It sounded about as accusatory as it could manage, surrounded by six adventurers and fully tired out. It shied away when Beau’s glare intensified.

“He isn’t supposed to be here either,” she said. “And we wouldn’t have been there if you hadn’t trapped him.”

The dream rubbed its face again. “I don’t know about that either,” it mumbled. “I’m just doing what I’m supposed to do. I’m not even really real, I’m just trying.”

“Well, you…” Not to be outdone, Beau scowled. “You should’ve tried harder.”

“I did,” the dream grumbled. “Why do you think we’re here, after all?”

If there had been any other sound in the vastness of this space, it would have been amplified in the Nein’s silence. Instead, there was only the faint rustle of fabric and the subsiding tears of a dream gone wrong.

“Where…is here, anyway?” Jester asked. “Only…there was so much fire, before. And now…”

The dream gestured to Caleb.

“He took us here,” it said. “He wanted to forget about all the bad stuff happening to him, so…I did that. I took him to the only memory he has where he ever forgot anything. To…here.”

“This is a memory?” Fjord asked incredulously. “But…wait, how could he have a memory of a place he doesn’t remember?”

“I don’t know,” the dream sniffed. “But this is the place where it happened.”

Their eyes scanned the horizon. It was all horizon, sterile and inert.

“He must remember it wrong,” Caduceus said. “This is no place. Not…not really.”

“Maybe this is how the place felt to him,” Yasha said.

They looked at the body on the ground. They couldn’t decide whether or not Caleb was blinking.

“So…how do we get him out?” Beau asked. “Do we have to fight you?”

The dream scrambled back. “I don’t think so, I mean…I’m not keeping him here. He’s the one who’s keeping himself here.”

“And how do we know you’re not lying?” she said. “What if this is a trick?”

The dream looked up at her, eyes swollen and cheeks damp from the crying. “I’m not tricking you. Promise.”

Caduceus placed a fuzzy mitt on Beau’s shoulder.

“I think he’s telling the truth.”

“Well—” Beau scoffed, and she didn’t realize it, but her grip loosed on her staff. “Well, good. He’d better not be.”

“So how do we wake him up?” Veth asked. She didn’t seem to be speaking directly to anyone, gaze affixed to Caleb. “What do we do?”

“Well, um…well, I think first we probably have to fix him,” Fjord managed eventually. “You know, get him…all back to normal. Jog the old…the old memory reserves.”

“How do we know that won’t make everything covered in fire again?” Yasha asked.

“What’s the alternative?” Beau said. “Leave him like this?”

“…right. I vote fire.”

“Me too,” Caduceus said. “But, um…how do we get to the fire?”

“I think we’re getting it twisted,” Fjord said weakly. “Fire is to be avoided, if we can.”

“He doesn’t like fire,” the dream volunteered, and then retreated under the weight of their stares.

“Sorry.”

“It’s been a long day,” Jester said charitably. “I’m sure you’re really nice.”

The dream actually sorted at this. Its voice, all a childish giggle and smile, was achingly, exactly, the way Caleb had sounded.

“I’m sure you’re really nice, too. He does like you all a lot, after all. I could never get him to forget you. Not really.”

“Yeah,” Jester said softly. “That’s ‘cause we’re his best friends.”

“Why did you try that?” Caduceus asked. “Why would you suppress us?”

The dream shrugged. “It made sense at first,” it said. “I was a happy memory of being little. He wouldn’t have known you all, then, and if he remembered you, it would break the illusion. But…you kept sticking around, and by the end I had to find a way to fit you in, somehow.”

“By sending us on a mission to kill people?” Fjord asked.

“You kill bad people all the time,” the dream said defensively. “The way he was, when he was alive back then, he would’ve considered those people bad. I thought it worked.”

Caduceus gave the dream a careful appraisal. “That’s…not really how people think,” he said. “Especially not when they’re confused.”

“You’re telling me?” The child seemed at least a little more open now that the interrogation had largely ended. “He’s a really complicated person. And it’s hard to make him happy. Although…”

“Although?” Veth echoed.

The dream sighed. “Honestly, I think he was pretty happy being in the Mighty Nein, too. I don’t know if I ever could have made something that would ever top that.”

“Damn straight,” Beau muttered, in the background. “We came all this fuckin’ way for him, that had better be the case.”

“Maybe…well, wait a second,” said Jester, glancing back at Fjord. “Maybe…what you said earlier about jogging his memory, maybe that could work!”

“Oh, er…really?”

“Yeah! I mean, maybe,” she said. “Maybe if we get him to remember us, and I mean really us, fully us, that could bring back the real Caleb. You know, the one who’s a grown up and is our friend and remembers everything. That way, maybe, he would realize what’s going on, and then he could wake up!”

“But…how could we get through to him when he’s like this?” Veth asked. “He doesn’t look like he’d be all that responsive. He’s hardly breathing, let alone listening.”

“Well...didn’t he wake up from this once before?” Jester tapped her chin. “He…hey, you, little Dream, you said that this is a memory, right? That means that this is something that happened to Caleb in the past, right? Do we know fixed this? What snapped him out of this?”

There was the sound of Beau’s fist hitting her palm. “Shit,” she said, “yeah, I think we do. Didn’t he…Veth, didn’t he say something about a healer, once? Who…who did some sort of spell…”

Veth’s eyes went wide. “You’re right, he…he said…there was a woman, a cleric, who put her hands on his head and then there was a bright light and…and all of a sudden he was back to normal. He…remembered what was real and what wasn’t.”

Everybody immediately looked at Jester and Caduceus.

“Er…do you know what spell?” Jester asked.

“Probably…Greater Restoration,” Caduceus mused. “That seems like the one that’d fix this…”

A slow silence fell over the Mighty Nein. But this was not the barren quiet of desperation, nor the frigid emptiness of lost hope, this was the shock, the hum, the eye-opening, dawning, sudden realization that…yes, there might be a chance—

“I’ll do it,” said Jester, and she reached into in her bag. “I’m a lady and I’m a cleric. It’ll be the most accurate.”

“And what about the rest of us?” Veth asked. “Can we help?”

“Actually, I think you can. And…I’d like to help too.”

This time, the silence did not last as long. Eyebrows rose.

“I think you’ve done enough,” Beau said.

Fjord took pity when the dream flinched. “Why don’t you elaborate?” he said.

“You, um…” The dream twisted its sleeve. “You said…you were going to help him remember. I can…I’m still in his head—I guess all of you are, but…I have a pretty direct line. I can help. Right now, it’s all blank, but…if you all try describing what you mean to him, I can try to project it to him, in his mind, help him form the memories again. I can try to help you break through.”

“Do you mean that?” Yasha asked.

The dream gave her a weak smile.

“I’m supposed to make him happy. He was always happiest when he was with you guys.”

Jester held a vial of diamond dust in her hands.

“Let’s try it,” she said. “It’s worth a shot.”

—

Fjord cleared his throat.

“I, uh…so…I’m going first. Which…I suppose is sort of an honor—oh, come on, Veth, just let me have this! Right. Er…right, I…something meaningful, something meaningful…well, I don’t know. I don’t think it gets any more meaningful than that time I held a sword to your throat, right? Ha-ha...though I suppose that’s sort of a negative memory, isn’t it? We honestly weren’t ever alone that much, aside from that first time, and then that second time when we, er…made a blood pact…”

A pause.

“Boy, we’re fucked up, aren’t we? I mean…I know you’re fucked up, no offense, I’m in your head and…gods, this is difficult to do with everyone staring at me—”

Another pause, and some shuffling, and then a sigh, much quieter:

“Right. Although, now that I think about it, in a way, despite how fucked up we are, we really did make it work. We’ve made it this far, haven’t we? And that time in Uthodurn, while everyone else was running around assassinating guards and being owls and stuff, well…I don’t know. It was nice to have someone standing next to me watching all the chaos unfold and feeling…well, I’d like to think…feeling exactly the same way I did. I guess…in a kind of weird way, after everything we’ve been through and after having so much time to figure it out, I think I do understand you now, Caleb. And I think…I believe, that you understand me as well.”

—

“…oh gods, I am not sure what to say.”

A breath in, a breath out.

“Happy memories…happy memories…well, I think that time I shaved you was not so bad, yes? That was when I was first getting to know you all. And…I don’t know how reassuring this is to hear, but that was one of the first times I think I ever held a sword that close to someone’s face and didn’t kill them. I didn’t kill you many times, actually. Which is…better than the times that I did almost kill the others. Er…that is to say…”

—rustling fabric—

“…thank you. I do not think you ever gave up on me, and even when I was in a…bad place, afterwards, you never gave up on me then, either. We…know what it is like to do things that…haunt you. And we know what it is like to come back from that. Plus, well, I don’t know if this means much to you either, but…you are one of the first people that I spoke in…well, this language with. And that was important to me as well. So…thank you. And I hope you remember me, Caleb. There are many things you have shared with me that are too important to forget.”

—

“Well, Mister Caleb, we’re really in it now, aren’t we? Although I suppose we’ve been in it for…sort of a while, now. I still remember when you and your friends showed up in the Grove, you know. I remember thinking that you all were a bit…well, broken, to be frank, but never unfixable. I think we’re still doing the fixing now, even months later. But…don’t get it mixed up, alright, Mister Caleb? We’re not the only ones doing the fixing. If any of this stuff I’ve seen over the last few…days? Days. If any of that’s proven anything to me, it’s that you’ve been doing some fixing of your own for quite some time now. And I think we’re just here to help.”

A pause.

“What was that?”

And then—

“Oh, right. A memory. Right, hmm…well, how about that time we were on the boat, and you gave me that neat little stone? Yeah. I like that. It had potential, and we helped it find that potential together. It was the first gift you gave me, you know. I’m sure it won’t be the last.”

—

“…how am I supposed to pick just one? I…I guess if it’s supposed to be happy, I should pick from, like, a few months after we met. I don’t know how many of those memories from the early days are actually happy for you. You know…since I was…sort of a dick…”

Some soft swearing. It lacked any bite.

“I don’t know. Fuckin’…I don’t know. How about that first hug, then? I remember looking at Fjord for most of it, but…well, it was sort of nice. Not—ugh, not because I was hugging you, but…well…shit, I guess it was because I was hugging you. That felt like such a milestone. I guess it…well, I guess it was. And…oh, well, that time you were a gorilla was pretty great too. Just…fuck. Come back, already. I want to go home. But…I mostly just want to make sure that you’re gonna be coming with us, you hear? ‘Cause I’m not leaving without you.”

—

Veth leaned forward, and gave him a peck on the forehead.

“I can’t really say anything that you haven’t said before,” she murmured. “Can you remember them for me? I know you can. If anyone could, it would be you. I say that a lot, I think. If anyone can do it, it’s you, Caleb.”

And then she brushed a little more of the hair away from his face.

“Remember what you said? Before I went into the clay? This will be…our best trick yet.”  

—

And then, Jester stepped forward. With the help of everyone else in the Mighty Nein, she steadied Caleb up into a more-or-less sitting position.

She dipped her thumb into the vial of dust and trailed it across his brow.

Then she took his head in her hands. She closed her eyes.

“Time to come back to us,” she whispered. “It’s time for you to remember, and come home.”

And maybe it was just their imagination, a trick of the light, just wishful thinking, but for a second, for a moment, it almost seemed as if Caleb’s face lifted, his eyes began to flutter—

—

—what is a dream if not where they come true—

—

There was a sudden flash of burning, blinding light.

Everyone heard a gasp—

—

And then, a green hill.

Above them was nothing but clear, serene sky. White and gold wildflowers bloomed in the grass as a sparrow chirped a sweet, gentle song. A quiet breeze trailed past their faces, danced through the air and eventually spun out over an enormous patchwork valley, glowing with autumn light.

And right at the center of the fields was a village. They couldn’t make out too much detail up here, but they could spot varied rooftops, some thatch, others clay, a few wisps of smoke curling up from little chimneys...

It was quiet. It was beautiful. This time, it was familiar.

There was also a person sitting at the edge.

It was Caleb.

They managed to skid to a halt just behind him, in the way that six people all hurtling uphill can just manage to slow down before colliding with one another. But their entrance was quite a noisy affair, and Caleb didn’t need to turn around to know they were there.

He did anyway.

“Thank you all, for, ah…coming to get me.”

Veth was the first to clear the distance, then Jester, then Beau knocked them over, and then Fjord and then Yasha, Caduceus rounding off the hug—

“You asshole, did you know how worried—”

“Sorry, B—”

“Shut up—"

They broke away after just long enough for Jester to cry a puddle into his shoulder. There was definitely some snot across his chest too, though he wasn’t quite exactly sure whose it was.

He found—as the rest of the group settled in, forming an unbroken circle atop the hill, all sitting shoulder-to-shoulder—he didn’t much care.

Caleb rubbed his neck. And…yes, it was Caleb, now.

“So…I assume you have questions.”

“What about you?” Fjord waved him off. “I mean…do you…do you know what happened?”

“Er…sort of,” he managed. “It’s…the memories are returning in waves, but some things are still hazy. There was…I think…didn’t we feed chickens together?”

“We did!” Jester wiped at her eyes. “It was really cute.”

“Ah, er…thank you. I think. And…oh. Oh, no, Veth, did you pretend to be—”

“Yep.”

“Götter.”

“It was weird,” she said quickly. “I don’t want to do that again.”

Caleb snorted. He well and truly snorted, and the sound of it surprised himself more than anyone else.

“I think there were many things that…probably should not be repeated,” he said. “Twice already might be more than enough.”

“That’s why we should be the ones apologizing,” Beau huffed. Her nose was red, and she was still rubbing it. “I mean…we really tried, we really tried, to keep you away from the…the bad shit. But gods, we still ended up driving you there. We couldn’t stop it.”

“It is an event that would be difficult to prevent, I think,” Caleb said.

“It’s…if anything, a bit of a privacy violation,” Fjord said. “We didn’t, er, want to poke around as much as we ended up doing.”

“You’re really cute as a kid,” Jester said.

“Very talkative,” Yasha volunteered.

Caleb’s cheeks flushed. “I, er, danke.” Then he turned back to Beauregard and put a tentative hand on her shoulder.

“You should not blame yourself,” he said softly. “I get the sense that you all were just as lost as I was. But I am grateful that you wanted to avoid…the harder things to swallow. For my sake as well as yours. It is…perhaps just a year ago, if you all had seen what I did, I…am not sure if I would have been able to face you. Especially…well, I nearly killed you all.”

“We could’ve escaped if we had to,” Caduceus said.

“We didn’t want to,” Veth said.

And it was there that a faint smile graced his face.

“That is why I am thanking you,” Caleb nodded. “In a…rather a sick way, perhaps, it is that final memory you saw, the…fiery one, that ultimately made me into me. It is what eventually created the person you see before you now. It forced me to break the…ah, conditioning of my past. It is still an atrocious thing,” he sighed. “It is a horrible, vile, and despicable act. But…I am here now. I have made it this long, and I will not let that be a waste.”

“And you’re different now,” Veth said ferociously. “You’ve changed. You’re a good person, Caleb.”

He bowed his head. “I hope s—ow—”

Beau pulled her arm back. “That punch was nothing. Suck it up.”

He pushed his hair back and gave a weak grin, and a few of the teary faces around him started to laugh. It was the sound of days and days of tension—fear, worry, sorrow—being released and fading on the wind.

They all sat back for a little while and stared out over the fields of Blumenthal.

“It is a very beautiful village,” Yasha said.

“I agree. I had a very happy childhood.”

“The wheat is pretty,” Veth said. “Reminds me of Felderwin.”

“It does, doesn’t it?”

“Will you be…able to leave?” Jester said. “Is it…will you be okay when we go?”

Caleb’s eyes found the horizon.

“I believe I will,” he said. And when this was not enough, he turned back and added, “I promise.”

“Your body is probably wrecked,” Fjord said. “We’ve been in here for…what? Days? Years?”

“I think just minutes,” Beau said. “Probably? I mean…you aren’t dead, are you?”

Caleb raised an eyebrow. “If I am still dreaming, that means I am alive, yes?”

“I have diamonds,” Caduceus said. “Just in case.”

“You’re an expensive boy,” Veth said. “We keep spending gem dust on you.”

“Er…sorry.”

She nudged his shoulder, “Don’t apologize.”

And then Jester produced her holy symbol, hanging off a leather cord on her belt. “O-kay, here we go. When it’s time, I’ll cast the spell. And you’ll be right behind us, Caleb.”

It wasn’t a question. He smiled again. “Of course.”

He watched his friends stand up in the grass and carefully form a circle at the edge of the hill. Another breeze curled through their hair, rustled their robes, made wind chimes of their armor.

“Ready?”

“Ready.”

“See you soon, Caleb.”

The murmuring started out faint. Then it grew, swelled and crescendoed and then a flash—

They were gone.

Caleb turned back and gazed out over the hill. He breathed in, breathing in the flowers of Blumenthal, the smoke across the chimneys, the memories of long ago.

“Thank you too,” he said, to whatever was listening. “And you were right. It is when I am with them.”

And this time, when he breathed out, he was home.

—

“Took you long enough. How do you feel?”

“Gods, like…I have been hit by an elephant. Does anyone…ow…does anyone have any water?”

“Shit, uh, drink this—”

“You look really awful.”

“…thank you, Beauregard.”

—

And here, finally, was happiness.

—

✨ Ko-fi in bio✨ | 💜 Writing Tag 💜 | Thank you for reading :3

[peach-the-owl]

Caleb Widogast & Sibling!Reader

My first story is finally done!! Took a little longer then I’d like, but I guess that’s normal when I still have to work a job, not to mention procrastination is an enemy that is hard to escape. Also I apologize if it’s bad…

There was a sharp pain that blazed across your face as your brother, Bren, had just slapped you and was staring at you with a fierce look, making you shrink a little. Still wanting to hold your ground you look back at him with the same intensity. The two of you remained in your silent staring contest for a while before you turned on your heel and walked away, not wanting to show the tears that started welling up in your eyes from the pain in your cheek. You didn’t bother going home right away as all you wanted to do was walk as far from your troubles as possible and cool your head.

The air grew cooler as evening approached, you found it comforting as you continued to wind your way around the streets passing guards and bystanders alike. When you finally found a place to sit down and rest a bit you could now feel the slight sting in your legs from all the walking, not that you minded all that much. Taking several deeps breaths you reach up to touch your cheek, wincing slightly at the now bruised area. With a sigh you lean back on the bench you were seated on and take in the evening sounds of Blumenthal. You hadn’t noticed you’d fallen asleep until you were awaken from the rays of the sun peeking through the buildings. Reluctantly you get up, mostly calmed but still slightly angered from the event that took place yesterday but that wasn’t gonna bother you now, after all your parents might get worried if you didn’t get home soon. Retracing your steps you begin to make your way home, as you do the air begins to feel heavier and there’s a gnawing in the pit of your stomach that brings feelings of unease to you. Trying to put these thoughts to the side you conclude that you’re probably just hungry, you did skip dinner last night after all. However the thick stench of smoke filled your nostrils the closer to home you got, your walk turning to a full sprint once you saw the pillar of smoke. To your horror the source of the smoke was none other then your home, or the remnants of it. You fall to your knees as your thoughts began to run rampant, wondering how this could’ve happened, where were your parents, were they alive, was your brother alive?

"What an unfortunate fate. Losing so much and not even knowing why." You jump slightly at the voice that almost seemed to come out of nowhere. You turn your head and see an elderly man, you were able to recognize him as Bren's teacher Trent Ikithon.

"Do… do you know what happened?" Your voice came out shaky, fearing what answers awaited you. Trent sets his gaze upon you, like he was studying you, but you were too distressed to notice or even care in that moment. After a long pause he speaks.

"Why yes I do, a shame really. During a lovely dinner while we discussed his future at the academy one of my students went mad, acting in a frenzy he set the house alight and killed his parents..." As he continued with the story his words faded into the background while you soaked in the information. Your brother did this? That was impossible, sure he’d been acting differently, and there was your argument yesterday. Your eyes widen, did your argument really cause all this? You couldn’t think striaight, as if the fragments of yesterday’s conversation began to replay, a small question brought to heated yelling which ended in things getting physical. In your vulnerable state it all seemed to make sense.

"Where's my brother?" The words came out fast, before you had time to even process what was being said. So lost in your own thoughts you didn’t notice the amused and devious smirk appear on Trent.

"He ran off before anyone could stop him. I could help you track him down, if you come with me." He offered reaching out a hand. It takes you a second, but desperate to find your brother and some answers you accept the offer…

You jolt awake from your slumber to the dingy prison cell you were placed in not too long ago, the shackles holding your wrists and ankles behind you restraining you from getting up off the dirty floor. You decide to take this time to think back on your dream, well it was more of a memory really. It’d been 16 years since you had gone under the tutelage of Trent, putting up with his harsh and abusive teaching methods, all in the hope that you would one day find your brother and apologize for… well you weren’t sure anymore. You remembered having an argument with him, right? So then why couldn’t you remember what the argument was about? It’s not like it mattered anymore anyways, all those years lead to nothing. Now after one careless slip up on the job here you where a prisoner to the Dynasty.

The sound of a door and quiet murmuring caught your attention. You couldn’t decipher what they were saying but you could tell they were coming to your cell due to the footsteps growing louder as they approced. The sound of your cell door swinging open only comfirmed your thought.

"Perhaps you’ll have better luck with this one." You recognized the voice as the Drow that had come to interigate you for the past few days. However you wouldn’t give in, you could be very stubborn when you wanted to.

It was silent for a moment, you wondered what was happening but kept your head low. It was less strenuous that way in your current position.

"Astrid?" They spoke with a Zemnian accent which threw you off at first, but didn’t stop you from scoffing. However you also couldn’t help but notice that the voice was oddly familiar, you just couldn’t place where or why.

"[Ha! Unfortunately for you I am not the one you’re searching for.]" You reply in Zemnian, whilst shaking away those distracting thoughts.

"[Then who are you?]" Hearing them speak Zemnian only furthered the feeling of familiarity. You could practically feel their gaze on you, curious of your identity. You still wouldn’t give in, even to such simple information.

"[Who wants to know?]" You seem to also find yourself curious about this mans identity, being rather hard to make out any features both with your position on the ground and the dim lighting within the cell. There’s some quiet murmuring before the man speaks to you once more.

"[They will kill you if you don’t cooperate.]" Trying to shift your position, you slightly succeed turning to look to the Drow standing by one of the guards.

"Then so be it, I’ve already lost everything I cared for." Your voice seethed with anger, but more towards yourself as you now accepted the fact that everything you did and all you were trying to accomplish were nothing more then you chasing fruitless fantasies.

"Any last words to speak?" The Drow asks, now stepping forward.

"… Yes. But they are meant for you." Tears began to prick the corners of your eyes as the gravity of the situation began to weigh down on you, your self anger turning to sorrow knowing you had failed in your one personal mission.

"Now is your only time. If you wish to, then speak." The Zemnian man urges, albeit a little impatiently. You're surprised they’d even give you this opportunity, but decided better now then never at the very least. You squeezed your eyes shut, now seeing the image of your brother from the last time you saw him stand before.

"I’m sorry my brother, for everything that’s happened. If I had known my actions would lead to this, I would’ve apologized sooner. I never meant for this to happen, I don’t even remember what caused it to happen. But if you still hate me after all this that’s fine with me, because I can know that I at least tried." You could feel the tears running down your face as you poured your heart into that messy apology, desperately holding the image of your brother in front of you. Now all you could do was wait for the end…

Nothing happens. You wonder if you’re already dead, them having decided to make it quick and painless, but you could still feel the shackles on your wrists and ankles. Calloused hands then lift your face, you instinctively try to pull away but they hold firm.

"(y/n)?" Their voice sounded soft, surpised even to say your name. Slowly, you crack your eyes open. It was as if the image in you head morphed when you looked into the eyes of the man in front of you. Both of you seeming to have the same shocked look on your faces.

"Bren?" You noticed him slightly cringe when at the mention of his name, but even after all this time and his change in wardrobe, now having a better look, it was indeed your brother.

"I thought you were dead."

"And I thought you went insane… guess we were both wrong." You laugh softly.

After some explaining and you finally agreeing to somewhat cooperate, they released you from your binds under the supervision of a group known as the Mighty Nein, which your brother, who told you to refer to him as Caleb around them, was apart of. It took a bit of getting used to but you couldn’t help but like the new name he’d given himself. As for the rest of the group, it was an adjustment, most of them weary of you but over time that would change. Even though you’d done some terrible things that you regret in the past, with some help from everyone you began to work towards righting those wrongs and helping to leave each place a little better then when you found it.

[your-turn-to-role]

so, now i've watched ep 77, here's where i'm at vis-a-vis all of caleb's shit - who wants caleb dead?

because it's not trent ikithon. that was all but confirmed by the scourger herself, but even if it wasn't... caleb was institutionalised and helpless for over a decade. trent ikithon literally trains imperial assassins. if ikithon wanted caleb dead, if at any point he wanted him dead, he would be dead. it's not even just that ikithon didn't care either, because caleb was watched, that entire time. he had to murder a fellow vollstrecker to escape. you don't put that much of a guard on someone you don't give a shit about, you do it to someone you care about keeping tabs on. someone who would be a liability if let loose.

and you don't keep a liability around at all unless you have serious use of them.

we know the kind of person ikithon is. he's an opportunist. he plays the long game. he finds people that would be a good investment and then shapes damages and manipulates them until they pay returns. his investment on caleb hasn't paid off yet, and barring serious loss (which he hasn't had yet, not at caleb's hands, not knowingly), i don't think ikithon's going to give up until it does. he most likely lost faith slightly when caleb lost his mind, but clearly he didn't think it was a dead end, the whole time he expected there to be a recovery. and now that it's happened, he wants his chess piece back.

i doubt he likes caleb. i doubt he trusts him. he's probably been using him as a threat and/or cautionary tale to everyone he's taught since. but when the two finally come face to face, i would bet money that ikithon's first move isn't gonna be murder, but some kind of either mind games or straight up mind control. he can routine modify memory, a dominate person is nothing.

and yet the scourger tried to kill caleb, not turn him. not like caleb was trying to do. which leaves me with two options, really. either it was a personal vendetta, or on someone else's orders (potentially orders she thought came from trent)

a personal vendetta is the less likely option of the two, given how little she cared for her own life, but it's still interesting to think about. she's part of that inner circle that all knew bren, though a bit younger, everyone she looked up to would be keenly aware of how he failed, there's plenty of reasoning there. (and if caduceus is right that attacking him was at least in part a suicide attempt, that would grant a bit more legitimacy to it as well)

(there is also the traitor to the crown thing, but honestly as much as caleb says they were taught empire before all, in what we've seen it seems to be ikithon before all. moral ambiguity is permissable as long as it contributes to the overall plan)

the second option, though, is the third party here. the one already in rosohna. the one who gave her the knife in the first place, who surely knows caleb's here by now. someone she trusts enough to give her orders, and someone with a serious grudge against caleb, enough to murder a potential asset, and get this scourger murdered in the process.

(side note - she's in all likelihood an arcane trickster, you can't do that much damage with an improvised weapon like that except with a fairly decent level sneak attack, the residuum scars kinda prove she's got at least some magical ability, and even if she was a wizard/rogue multiclass, the only other rogue subtype i'd imagine the vollstreckers would have much use for is assassin, which we know she's not or she would have crit hit on that attack and dropped caleb's hp down to single digits. maaaybe inquisitive but eh, she doesn't strike me as the type. either way, it's proof the vollstreckers aren't just wizards, they're arcane casters of all types)

(but that may be a new development, because caleb's self defence instinct was counterspell, he wasn't expecting a physical attack, he expected a wizard)

there's a lot of spies on both sides in this war. more go unseen than the mighty nein realise. they've identified vence now, as an annex of da'leth, but there's at least one more they really need to find, or things are gonna get real bad real fast

[mithrilwren]

Is it gauche to write meta about your own fic? Does it even count as meta, when you’re just musing about the strange twists and turns that caught you by surprise in a story you wrote? Too bad, I’m gonna do it anyway. Let’s talk about Fjord, Caleb, Mirel and manipulation.

It’s fascinating to me in hindsight, how Mirel’s character and motivations evolved based on the actions of Caleb and Fjord. My original intention with Mirel was to give Fjord someone who would offer him a devil’s bargain on a similar, but smaller scale than Uk’otoa - one that was more straightforward, that he could more easily choose to refuse. (Keep in mind that we still had Hexblade!Fjord throughout most of the first half of writing this fic, and I did not anticipate Fjord actually breaking with Uk’otoa so soon in canon.) That was the central part of his character arc, and though I didn’t know what that devil’s bargain would be at the outset, it is the direction I always meant to send those two characters towards. 

But Caleb’s and Fjord’s choices in how they approached Mirel had a big impact on that subplot, in a way I didn’t anticipate. See, the thing is, Mirel did not start out with the directive to put Fjord through Scourger training. That was not was she was tasked to do by Tross. Though Fjord doesn’t quite realize this, her “training” him was essentially a guise to find out more about his mysterious powers - any benefit to Fjord as an individual was just a side effect. All Tross cared about with regards to that training was extracting anything useful about his magic - she didn’t care if Fjord actually, personally became a loyal servant of the Empire. (Gotta keep demonstrating that sweet, sweet progress to her bosses.)

But independent of each other, Caleb and Fjord’s separate brands of manipulation started steering Mirel towards the darker place she eventually ended up. On the one hand, we have Caleb, who stokes the fires of Mirel’s insecurity and anger by playing his role of Bren too well - he effectively convinces her that Fjord was right, that she has been replaced by Ikithon. On the other, we have Fjord, who feeds her what he thinks she wants to hear - that he can be useful to her, and help her achieve recognition of her own, beyond what Tross tasked. Those two things combined push her to escalate her training with Fjord, and to set her own personal goal outside of what her superiors intended with Fjord - namely, proving to Ikithon that she’s ready to take on the role of trainer, rather than trainee.

Caleb choosing to isolate himself completely (in his mind, for the group’s protection!) really came back to haunt them here, because there was no way for him to know what a precarious position his treatment of Mirel had subsequently put Fjord. Nor could Fjord know that his own brand of manipulation was driving her towards this new, and dangerous, goal -  something Caleb might have been able to recognize from his own time with Ikithon. As a result, Fjord was in an extremely dangerous place by the end of his time with Mirel. He ended up imprisoned and completely vulnerable to Ikithon, and Mirel could have easily killed him in her anger, had she shown a smidgen less restraint.

Fjord’s final positioning was the only big character wildcard in my endgame planning. I knew where everyone else needed to be at the start of the final heist from fairly early on (around Chapter 7/8), but Fjord? I honestly didn’t know. There’s another version of this fic where Mirel would have been more involved in the climax, where Fjord could have continued playing that manipulation game until the very end, and only had to make his choice in the final few chapters. But we got where we are because of the unique intersection of Caleb and Fjord’s separate arcs, which is just... cool.

[pinkevilbobdoesthings]

So this is for the prompt Healing .This might be a bit loose of a use of the prompt, but eh.

Here’s “The Adventure Begins”.

_________________________

Caleb had never really given the days of the week much thought. They would come and things would happen, so why have a favorite? None of them had ever stood out to him as special. At least, that was before he started dming for his friends. Now he had to say that Thursdays were the best day of the week.

The group had only been playing together for a couple of months, but Caleb was already finding himself getting really into it. Now most of his free time was spent imagining new scenarios for his players, The Strong. That night’s game was promising to be a good one.

The Strong had just finished their first dungeon and gathered the components the local shopkeep, Phillip, had requested. Now all that was left for them to do was return to the village and get their money.

“Fiona should be the one that gives Phillip the supplies,” Nott suggested. It tripped up Caleb at first that her wizard had his old name Bren, but he was getting used to it.

Fjord nodded his head. “Maybe she can get us a bonus.” His fighter, Captain Tusktooth, had already been banned from price negotiation after accidentally insulting Phillip’s mother.

“Just leave Traci out of it,” Beau said. “I don’t want to do an awkward flirting session with Caleb ever again.” Caleb had to agree with that.

“That sounds like a fine plan to me,” Caduceus said. He played the firbolg cleric, Caduceus. No one was certain if he really understood the point of dungeons and dragons.

“Does that sound good to you, Jester?” asked Yasha, aka Janet their gnome rogue.

Jester smiled. “Like you guys can keep Fiona away from Phillip.” Fiona being her human bard barbarian.

“Okay, you’ve successfully made it to the village. So, what are you guys going to do now?” Caleb asked.

“Well, Fiona’s going to go to Philip’s shop,” Jester said.

Fjord grabbed a handful of chips from the communal bowl in the middle of the table “We’ll wait outside.”

“Right, so Fiona goes into the shop,” Jester said. “Is Phillip there?”

“Behind the counter of the shop, you see the familiar sight of a pale red tiefling, Philip. He smiles as he sees you come in and goes ‘Miss Fancypants. You’ve returned. Were you successful?’” Caleb liked doing Phillip’s voice. It was softer than his own and was the first NPC that Caleb had a firm grasp of.

Jester nodded. “‘Yeah!’” She did the cutest voice for Fiona and Caleb couldn’t blame Phillip for being infatuated with the bardbarian. “Fiona pulls out everything that Phillip requested from her bag. ‘Here you go!’”

“Phillip’s smile grows wider. ‘You will never cease to impress me Miss Fancypants.’”

“‘Wait until I play for you sometime. I’m going to be performing at the inn tonight.’” Jester leaned forward with a big grin on her face.

Caleb pulled out some of his notes. “‘I look forward to.’” Everyone else at the table ooohed as Jester giggled. “‘Let me go get your payment.’ Phillip grabs his crutch and makes his way to the back and keeps talking to you. ‘I’ve heard there’s good work for folk like you up north in Bucher. Folks say that there’s a kobold colony that needs wiping out up there.’”

“How’s that spelled?” Beau asked.

“B-u-c-h-e-r,” Caleb said.

Jester frowned. “‘I think we were hoping to stay here a bit longer.’”

“‘There’s not much work for you here after this.’ Phillip returns to the front with a bag of coins. ‘Here you go 45 gold just like we agreed.’”

“Fiona smiles and takes the money. ‘We’ll miss this place’,” Jester said, bt she still seemed a little sad.

Caleb rolled a die. Seventeen. He rolled another die and added two to it. Eight. “‘Then you’ll need to come visit us sometime then.’ Suddenly a spear pushes through Phillip’s chest and he slumps over dead. On the other end of the spear is a gnoll.”

The whole table erupted into screams. “You can’t do that!You can’t just kill Phillip!” Nott yelled. Jester just sat there wide eyed in shock.

“Things don’t always go as you have planned.” Caleb had actually been planning for this attack since the start of the campaign. He hadn’t expected them to get so attached to Phillip, but that made the moment all the more poignant. “What does Fiona do Jester?”

Jester sat there quietly for a moment. There were a few different options. She could run out to the others to let them know what happened, attack the gnoll by herself, or scream to bring the other characters to her. “Fiona jumps over the counter, pulls the spear out of Phillip, grabs her healing potion, and pours it into Phillip’s mouth.” Or she could do that.

“But that’s your only healing potion,” Caleb pointed out. He didn’t mean to have her waste her items on an npc.

“Well, I don’t have any healing spells, so I’ll have to use the potion,” Jester said. The Strong were only level four and only had a couple of healing potions including the one Fiona used on Phillip.

Caleb scanned the table for complaints, but the rest of the players seemed okay with Jester’s decision. He rolled for the potion and added it to Phillips sheet. “Phillip gets back up and stares at you. Don’t forget that gnoll’s still there. Actually, it’s going to attack you now. Does a 19 hit?”

“Yeah, that definitely hits,” Jester said.

Caleb rolled again. “That’s 3 damage.”

Jester wrote down her new hp count. “Okay, so Fiona picks up Phillip and disengages from the gnoll to get them both out of there.”

“Picking up Phillip counts as an action. So if you want to disengage, you’ll have to leave him there,” Caleb pointed out.

“Right, so I pick up Phillip and leave triggering the gnoll’s reaction then.”

Caleb stared at her. Phillip was just an npc. He could understand getting hurt for another character, but not an npc. Npcs were disposable. “Does 14 hit?”

“Just barely misses,” Jester said. Relief filled Caleb. He would never forgive himself if he killed Fiona Fancypants. “Fiona carries Phillip out the store and yells ‘GNOLLS!!!’ for everyone to hear.”

“And that’s when gnolls start to swarm the village. Everyone roll for initiative,” Caleb said.

Jester bit her lip looking at her notes. “Wait, Fiona didn’t grab Phillip’s crutch and he has a bad leg. If I put him down, can he get to safety?”

“He can crawl,” Caleb said.

“Okay, then Fiona will just hold him until she can put him someplace safe.” Jester mimicked like she was holding someone in real life, and Caleb could feel a blush creeping up on his face.

“You’ll get disadvantage if you do that.”

Jester shrugged still holding an invisible Phillip in her arms. “Fiona can handle it.”

“Alright then. Okay initiative. Anyone get 20-25?”

******************

Somehow the Strong managed to survive the encounter even with Fiona at disadvantage for most of the fight. Most of the group agreed that it was a fun game, but Beau did threaten Caleb if he tried to pull something like what he did to Phillip again. Jester was the last one to leave that night.

“I had a lot of fun,” Jester said. “Fiona got to save Phillip!”

Caleb smiled. “Have to admit that took me by surprise.”

Jester raised her eyebrows in confusion. “Why? Fiona adores Phillip. Besides I know that you like playing Phillip, and it’d be really sad if your character died so early in the game.”

“Oh, danke.”Caleb never really thought of it before, but if he had the option, it was Phillip that interacted with the party. It was also a lot of fun to have Phillip talk to Jester and flirt with her a little bit. Even if he wasn’t good at it. “But I’m the DM. My characters are just npcs and don’t matter much. They’re not that interesting of npcs anyways.”

“Don’t sell yourself so short Caleb,” Jester said with a hint of a pout. “Phillip’s part of why I come every week.”

A blush crept over Caleb’s face. “Really? Then I guess he better move to Bucher so you can keep seeing him.”

“That’s good cause Fiona would be heartbroken otherwise.” Jester grinned brightly, but then became more serious. “Caleb? Do you think that Phillip feels the same way about Fiona?”

“That would be meta knowledge.”

“Cay-leb,” Jester pouted. “I won’t cheat or anything. I just want to know for art purposes.”

Caleb could feel his heart beating hard as he thought about how Phillip felt about Fiona since it was the same way he felt about Jester. “I think he holds Fiona very dearly.”

Jester squealed. “But he doesn’t realize how Fiona feels about him yet does he?”

“He doesn’t believe that someone as amazing as Miss Fancypants could love a man like him.”

“He’s wrong you know. Fiona could love him real easily.” For once, Jester appeared to be one hundred percent serious.

“What about Captain Tusktooth?” Caleb asked.

Jester waved away the comment. “That’s just a fling. Besides, Fjord isn’t really interested in pc romance.”

“Ah. I’ll need to keep that in mind then.” Caleb closed his DM screen and set it on his books.

“You better. Fiona needs a whirlwind romance. I’ll see you later!”

Caleb watched her as she left and sighed. He knew that nothing could ever happen between him and Jester. But that’s what the fantasy of Dungeons and Dragons was for.

___________________________

Notes:

Phillip and Fiona Fancypants were created in the Widojest discord. We ship them so much.

[sunlightpike]

Caleb’s backstory conversation transcription (under the cut because of length)

Fjord: Alright, can we maybe circle back to the— Jester: Caleb. Caleb: Um…
 Jester: We can tell you’re really, you know… scared. And that’s okay! To be scared. We just don’t know why. Fjord: Yeah, maybe if you share with us your apprehensions, it’ll ease it a bit? [Caleb inhales, goes to say something, stops. Beau puts a hand on his shoulder] Beau: You got this, man. Caleb: Your name is Veth? Nott: It was. Caleb: My name was Bren Aldric Ermendrud. Was. Jester: Wh— Caleb: And um— Nott: That’s why you looked at me. That day. [Caleb nods] Caleb: I um— [Caleb puts a hand on Beau’s shoulder. Beau puts a hand on his.] Jester: Did you— did you die too? Nott: Twinsies? Caleb: I have been using you all. Jester: How?
 Caleb: Um. I— I am from Rexxentrum. I attended the Soltryce Academy. And um… I was plucked by one of the Cerberus Assembly with a few others and um— was being trained to do the kinds of things that I fear may have been done to— Jester: Yeza? 
Caleb: Y—Yeah. And uh— A lot of big plans for me that didn’t pan out. And I went a little crazy. And I— I ran away. I ran away. I’ve been on the run for a long time. And I was tired of s—starving. And I met… [looks to Nott] I met you. And was a little less hungry for a while. And I have just been afraid for a long time, and two of the people in that town over there are on the Cerberus Assembly.
 Nott: Do you know them? Caleb: I know who they are. Jester: Would they know who you are? Caleb: I— I don’t think so. But I have walked past their portrait at school many times. Beau: Ew. Jester: Well they’re high up then, huh? 
Caleb: One of them is the head of the Cerberus Assembly. Jester: Holy shit Fjord: The head of the whole thing?
 Beau: Mr. Fancypants? 
Jester: Wait isn’t that where you want to go, Fjord? Fjord: I— I mean I did. That’s the center of magical teaching in the empire. As I understood it. Jester: But it’s— it’s really bad, or something? Caleb: There’s— there’s good teachers, it’s— its’ everything they describe it to be. But after going there for several months, one of the assembly who also would teach on occasion started interviewing me. Calling me in and asking me a lot of questions. And uh— he— he sort of put me in advanced class. Me and a few others. I— I don’t want you all to be seen with me because if you are seen with me by one of them… they will use you to get to me. Nott: Well, I mean, I don’t want them to see me either because they’ll kill me and everyone I’m with, so—anyone in town— so I— I think we’ll be hiding for some time. Caleb: You— you met the man who trained me. His name is Trent Ikithon. Jester: That’s why you always make that face. I’m sorry Caleb. Caleb: I’m not a very good person Jester: Well. I don’t think our actions define who we are all the time. Good people do bad things sometimes. Even bad people do good things. I think you’re a good person. Beau: Yeah and for the record Nott, I don’t think it’s us that’s been rubbing off on you, I think it’s you that’s been rubbing off on us. Fjord: Also I don’t think a very bad person would care about us. Jester: I don’t think a very bad person would care that he was very bad. Beau: Do you care about us? You’ve told us several times how you’ve been using us Jester: Are you secretly in love with me? Caleb: I am worried— about your husband. I know the things that they can do. [Caleb unwraps the bandages off of one of his arms. It is covered in faint scars from cuts, all up the arm] Caleb: He— he used to put crystals in. He— he experimented on— on us. On the three of us. Nott: What— what would they do? What? Crystals? Caleb: He was trying to strengthen us. Beau: The dunamus? 
Caleb: No. No, the first time I have ever seen that word was in your libraries. Just… haphazardly scrolled into a book. No explanation. No, I— we— everything was for empire. We were being trained to serve our empire. Above all else. He— he was a little mad himself. That is an… he was mad. Beau: I’m curious as to how much was for the empire, and how much the empire was a veil for his own personal exploits. Caleb: He— he believed that the unwashed masses relied on their base instincts and the highest calling was to rise above the muck and control the cattle for the good of all. Jester: That sounds like a bad person Caleb: But we were— are at war. And many of us felt that way. Feel that way. Nott: Do you still feel that way. [Caleb shakes his head] Caleb: But I don’t believe in anything, now. Fjord: This Trent, does he know these two that we saw? 
Caleb: Oh, yes. Yes. Yes. And I— I don’t want one more thing on my head to have you guys… it’s probably too late anyway. Fjord: How powerful are these two? Our normal tricks, would the fall short?Caleb: The Cerberus Assembly are the most powerful mages in the empire. Over two centuries ago, a number of mages went to war in the streets of Rexxentrum. And it was bloody and awful and eventually they came to a truce. And banded together. And proposed to the king at the time that they serve as an advising body alongside the throne. Jester: Would they see if we were disguised? Or would they have to look for us? Do you know what I mean?
 Caleb: I don’t know for sure but there is a reason why I did not use anything like that back there. Fjord: So we need to give them a very wide berth. But at the same time we need to figure out where— Nott: Why would they— would they have taken my husband? He was not a magic person, he was just a chemist. Caleb: I don’t know. It is something to do with this— the thing. Jester: It says it. Caleb: Yeah. But I don’t know why him. Jester: It says his instincts are solid. Nott: What instincts? 
Jester: Yeza, I’m assuming. [reading] “While I find this alchemist obnoxious in his simplicity—“ I’m sorry, I don’t believe that. Nott: I don’t either Jester: “— the academy’s eye for talent proves itself again.” Caleb: Was he gifted? In his work Nott: He was very brilliant in his work, but I— I mean, I never saw him do any magic— magic-y things. Fjord: Did he experiment? 
Jester: it says they want him to produce a number of batches of this— of that liquid. The one that we stole. Caleb: That is what is written about there. It talks about— It’s… listen I don’t pretend to know what we’re talking about, but it does not seem like anything that I ever studied. Nott: He was good at what he did, he could turn— he could refine anything. Jester: They wouldn’t kill him then. They need him. They need him to make batches over the next 12-16 months. Fjord: I’m sure he’s alive. But if he was good at breaking things down, taking them apart, experimenting on things, this thing that we have falls directly into that. 
Caleb: It says they are looking for a way to achieve their ends without the object. I— I hope he is alive, I truly do. They will make his life very painful though. Beau: Trent Ikithon was… looking at Yasha. He was side-eyeing Yasha. Fjord: What do you mean? Jester: Well she’s really hot. Beau: I feel like I’ve heard these words before. When we were in that bar. He… looks for prodigies, people with innate talent. I don’t think it matters. Nott: If they took my husband, where would they have taken him? Where— their headquarters are in Rexxentrum? At a school? At a— Caleb:  The city of Rexxentrum. Nott: The whole city is their headquarters? Caleb: They are based there Beau: And the Cerberus Assembly actually has a pretty heavy hold on Rexxentrum. Caleb: And the— the empire. They are… close to as powerful. Arguably more powerful than the king. Jester: I wonder if umm— Maybe we can break them out before he gets there. Maybe… he— it only just happened. Nott: Can they— do they have magical means of transport? Caleb: We watched De’leth appear 200 feet in front of us. Nott: So they could already be there. Caleb: Maybe. Beau: I’d be one to lay money on it. Nott: When— when— when did you get your new name? Caleb: I… used a lot of names. Caleb is just what I told you. Fjord: What do you prefer? Caleb: I don’t know. Caleb. Let’s stick with Caleb for now. Nott: Well… shit. It seems like if we are going to chase down my husband, you’re going to have to go into danger. Too much danger. Caleb: I honestly don’t know if we can… if we are up to this. Unless they are on route, on land, maybe… but… that’s all the might of the empire. Jester: Are we going to have to scout out, and listen in on people’s conversations? Fjord: We should just ask. We should ask to see if anyone saw a carriage, anything, leaving town with Yeza. Jester: Maybe if we go with our— our insurance company scheme, we can say that we believe there’s been fraud and he’s not really dead or something. Beau: Nott? Nott: Yes? Beau: Sorry, you were gonna say something. Nott: No, I just had more questions. Beau: I was gonna ask you a question. Nott: Go ahead. Beau: I don’t think you know the answer though. Your son mentioned that a mean lady with pointy ears keeps coming by. Nott: Is that one of these people that you— that we saw? Did— they had pointy ears, they’re elves, right? Caleb: They’re both elves. Nott: Did one of them look mean? Beau: Well. If he’s talking about Vess DeRogna Nott: Is that someone who would’ve— Do you know her to be someone who would be… someone who could harness chemicals and— Caleb: Vess DeRogna, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, no, Vess DeRogna is the archmage of antiquities. She is half a recluse. She taught at the school— not me, or years above me. Fjord: What does that mean, antiquities? Nott: Would she be interested in the things that Yeza was— Caleb: She’s a historian. She knows— she has uncovered… mysteries of the past, they would say at school. She’s a history buff, and awful as well, probably. Beau: She’s awful. Nott: But could she be the one who was visiting my home?
Beau: It sounds like they’ve been here watching your husband for quite some time. Which means… checking in on your son. Caleb: De’leth is domestic protection. He is the head of the military. So if they are both here I would imagine that he is here overseeing all of the red brands we saw and she is probably here trying to figure out what’s in that bag. Nott: And then… do we have, I— because I just don’t know how this all connects. Do we know why the Cricks also attacked? Did they sense a disturbance in their juice or whatever that stuff is? The dunamus? Jester: do you think maybe they’re attacking because we have the thingy? 
Nott: But we’ve had the thingy for a long time, it doesn’t explain why they would attack here, now. Caleb: They could be combing the empire for it. Fjord: It might not be the only one. Beau: It feels like… it is a piece of dunamus, right? [Caleb rolls an intelligence check and remembers that it mentioned more than one beacon. They read over the letters a bit more, reading about the effects of the beacon that they had. Jester suggests doing some things with the dodecahedron, but the rest of the group insists it’s too dangerous to do here. Marisha asks some questions about the people they saw in Zadash fighting the assassin. They talk about the dodecahedron a bit more and theorize about it, talking about when Caleb saw the word for the first time.] Beau: What were you looking for when you found it? What were you trying to find?
 Caleb: I was studying history and— I need to become more powerful. If I want to… do anything. 
Beau: You still haven’t answered my previous question of how you were using us, and what that means to you. Jester: Oh yeah Caleb: Prote— look at me. I am a stringbean, I am weak as it comes. I am weak. [pokes Beau’s arm] Look at that. [points to Yasha] Look at her. 
Jester: Look at me Beau: Her guns are bigger than mine Caleb: You have no guns. That was an exaggeration that day. You are just fast and quick and talented. Beau: Okay, okay, okay, was that a compliment? Fjord: I think so Beau: Okay Nott: I feel like there’s a difference between using someone and relying on someone. Beau: That’s what I was gonna say. Do you think that Fjord was using us. Do you think that Nott’s been using us? You know, and we’re also here. Volunteering our help. Jester: Yeah. It’s only using us if you don’t like us. Do you like us, though?
Caleb: yeah Nott: you do? Caleb: I uh— [Jester waves her hands around] Caleb: ohh, Jester. I am glad you see good in me. Beau: Caleb you were right when you said earlier that it’s too late now. That we’re involved. But I don’t think we see it in the same way that you do. It’s too late now because, whether you like it or not, we all care about you and are invested in, you know, like your happiness I guess. So… Caleb: Okay Beau: Don’t run. You can say you don’t believe in anything, and that’s fine… Believe in us just a little bit? [Caleb nods] Caleb: I will consider it heavily. Beau: I’m— I’m sorry for not hearing you, yesterday. Honestly, you saying that you don’t believe in anything kind of… put everything into perspective about that conversation. I heard that you were doubting me and us and our friendship. Caleb: I don’t doubt any of you at all. [Calls to Caduceus] You too. Caduceus: Yeah, I’ll have some if someone’s making something. That’s good.

[bloodyshadow1]

Mighty Nein Hogwarts Houses

I’m not really into harry potter anymore, but this kind of got locked in my head so I thought I’d share to get it out.  

Nott/Veth: gryffindor, despite her believing she’s a coward, Nott is one of the bravest members of the Nein, sort of like Neville.  She would be the Gryffindor that represented overcoming your fears instead of being fearless

Caleb: Ravenclaw or slytherin. Caleb being the Nein with the highest intelligence would fit in Ravenclaw as well as his devouring of knowledge.  However, like Percy Caleb tends to horde knowledge so he can use it for his own ends, those ends tend to be good, but they still can be selfish and short sighted, or too far sighted depending on the situation.  I think Caleb would be the ideal Slytherin that could have existed if they weren’t all written as the evil house, in contrast from what we know about Bren, I think Bren would be the stereotypical Slytherin

Fjord: slytherin or Hufflepuff, While my first thought was Slytherin because Fjord has the darkest powers, and is ambitious to learn about his powers and anything to do with Uka’toa.  Not to mention that Travis himself feels partial to this house.  That being said, Fjord seems more curious than ambitious, he wants to discover rather than consume despite what Uka’toa wants.  I also don’t think Fjord is evil, maybe a little dumb, but not evil (with the exception of potential what if scenarios).  Not to mention that I think the elitism of the Slytherin’s would rub him the wrong way given his background. In addition he didn’t seem comfortable in a position of power during their pirate adventure, and while’s charming enough to get his way, he’s easily tongue-tied and freezes up when things get personal.  Not to mention he’s willing to go above and beyond what is necessary to get the answers he’s searching for, Fjord is also perfectly willing to abandon his path if it means doing something important for his friends, like when he was willing to drop everything to go to felderwinn right away instead of going to the second seal.  It shows he’s very loyal and he’s not afraid of hard work, which are the big hufflepuff values

Jester: Hufflepuff, Jester is definitely a Hufflepuff, her whole character is about making people happy, Laura even said so on Talks.  Not to mention that she doesn’t really display the other houses traits strongly to be colored by them.  She doesn’t seem to lack ambition so much as prefer to deal with her friend’s problems.  She’s incredibly brave, but it isn’t her main trait and while she’s wise and smart her desire to spread msichief and make people laugh outranks them.

Caduceus: Hufflepuff, we don’t know much about Caduceus, but his general softness makes me think hufflepuff.  He cares for everyone whether they’re in the party, or pirates, or bar patrons who going into a fighting ring as his friend’s enemies.  While he’s very wise, he’s not really smart, he makes me think more of the guy who makes really good points high and can talk well when he needs to as opposed to someone who needs to work things out in the world.

.Yasha: Gryffindor.  Okay, we don’t know much about Yasha as Yasha instead of yaegered by Travis, Ashley has only just started playing her again. Still, Yasha is the tank of the Nein and is very protective of her friends.  In 59 we see a bit of her reckless courage since she ran ahead with little plan, but you can’t discount her bravery.  

Molly: Griffindor or Hufflepuff. Molly’s kind of a split between Griff and Huff for me, he exhibits a lot of hufflepuff traits, openly friendly, protective of his friends, not afraid of hard work, but at the same time he’s pretty judgmental and is willing to act on those judgments and is resistant to new info once he gets those judgments in his head. Molly is incredibly brave, no one can deny that, he goes into a fight hemorrhaging his hp to do more damage, and is willing to fight crazy monsters and demons on the front lines despite almost all his abilties costing health.  It even winds up killing him, but Talisen said molly probably thought it was worth it because he was doing it to save Beau.  

Beau: Ravenclaw.  While I feel she could work as a gryffindor I think that’s what people, including herself, think she’s going to be.  at first glance she seems foolhardy as a synonym for brave and doesn’t seem to use her brain.  I think people would consider Beau the definition of the bad side of gryffindor.  However, underneath the surface Beau has a lot of depth, she’s smart and wise, as well as tough, but she is ashamed of that side of her. She kind of seems like she would be in class, everyone would assume she is the athletic scholarship jock and that’s why she’s there, but would do great in class.