#bad magick

[2voodoo4u2b]

[3-vi-3]

i feel it coming tho

[thegodwhocums]

incomplete list of current shit I need to do magic about

👎🏽 job bullshit (botched previous recent working and want to try another method)

🖕🏽 sister's born-again ex who's being a transphobic dick to my nephew

🙏🏽 bringing the right new people into our intentional community as residents & collaborators

would be delighted if folks wanted to reblog this and add their own lists, or share them as replies. what are YOU planning to work on next?

will make a point of sharing as i work on these issues. (as per usual, probably thru theurgy & rootwork.)

[devilry-revelry]

Untitled - Male Orc x Female Human (Part 4)

OOPS I TRIPPED.

Not lemon, but maybe lemon zest?

Minors Do Not Interact

This marks the original concept/story for these two. First story was Riley worrying about stuff and things. Names may have changed since then. It's hard to remember. Ya know, because I deleted everything.

-

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3]

-

“Fuck,” Arzok snickered. He sounded absolutely winded from all of the laughter. “I’m not just going to ram it in and hope for the best, Riley. I promise you, we’ll fit together just fine.”

-

Riley’s curiosity was a dirty little bitch; a needy insatiable little whore.

Four weeks, and seven dates had left Riley’s baser urges feeling frayed and restless. After their second date they had shared the first kiss, and had since enjoyed a bit of necking. It was during their last date when their kisses turned downright sinful. Sitting in the car outside of her apartment in the middle of the night, Arzok’s hand clasped around her throat, the other slipping up her skirt as his tongue dominated her mouth. He’d teased her for just a moment, thick fingers tracing a slow path over the cleft of her pussy before he completely withdrew and bid her goodnight. Riley had been a mess ever since then. Any attempts to ease the tension Arzok had created left her feeling bereft and wanting. His had been such a strong, and commanding presence. Fiddling around with her vibrator didn’t do her any favors. 

And that’s where her dirty, dirty curiosity came in. 

Riley couldn’t help but think that her and Arzok’s first time together would be coming up soon. They had discussed her staying at his place for a weekend. Planning was still tentative at best but it was something they talked about with increased frequency. Arzok lived a little over thirty minutes outside of town, and while he claimed that the commute wasn’t any trouble, they had both agreed that a relaxing weekend without all of the typical date-night run around would be a nice change of pace. That, of course, meant that Riley would be staying at Arzok’s house and, sure, she could sleep on the couch or in a spare room, but she probably wouldn’t. Sex or not. Because they were adults. And they were dating. 

But those thoughts took a hard turn and she had been stuck with thinking about what she should expect were she to sleep with Arzok. He had mentioned that he was dominant and controlling, but what else should she anticipate? Arzok was big. Huge. He dwarfed her by nearly two feet and Riley was on the taller side of average. He was broad, and he was strong, but what about the rest? Short of just coming out and asking Arzok “hey, how big are orc dicks?” her only real avenue of getting that information was the internet. 

And that’s where Riley’s curiosity turned into a dirty, insatiable, little tramp. 

The initial search was a simple request on average sizes, but then a few videos showed up. The first video Riley stumbled into involved a beast of an orc, his height easily breaching the eight foot mark. He was paired with a petite, tiny little woman. The orc’s dick was bigger than Riley’s whole forearm, and while the pornstar took it like an absolute champion, Riley was aghast. It was porn so of course there were so many degrees of separation, but there was no way. No. Way. One video chased another in an effort to debunk the sudden theory that orc men were just obscenely massive in the pants department. Absolutely nothing was debunked. She’d even tried narrowing down her search, but it yielded no results. Instead, Riley had somehow ended up on orc-human BDSM play – and that was how Arzok’s phone call found her: stunned, horrified, whole-heartedly curious, and completely dejected. 

Riley didn’t process the first ring. She was far too engrossed in what was going on on the screen. On the second ring, she had a whole body reaction like he just walked in the door and caught her personally. Riley yelped - actually yelped - and slapped at her keyboard to pause the video. Then she abandoned the laptop on her coffee table and retreated to her bedroom as if getting away from the laptop would hide the evidence of her insatiable curiosity. She even closed her bedroom door. Locked it. 

“H-hi-llo–?” Hillo. Jesus. C’mon Riley. 

“Hey, baby,” Arzok said. His voice was low, and sleepy-quiet. He had informed her earlier that day that he wouldn’t be getting home from a work-thing until late. Nearing midnight, he sounded absolutely knackered. The growling rasp that was always in his voice was more prominent with his fatigue. Riley couldn’t help but like the idea of hearing him sound like that in person, grumbling sleepy good mornings. “I was just calling to say goodnight.” 

“I won’t keep you then,” Riley replied. Her voice matched the quiet pitch so as not to rouse him. “Did everything go okay, though?”

“Don’t know, and right now I’m too fucking tired to care,” he groused. Riley was able to pick up the teasing inflection of his words despite his bitter tone. “How about you? How was your night? What’re you still doing up?” 

“Oh it was fine,” Riley replied quickly. 

Arzok asked again, “What are you still doing up? You’re usually down for the count by now. Is everything okay?”

The heated flush that rushed into her cheeks felt as if her own body was trying to betray her. She moved away from the bedroom door to sit on the edge of her bed, then she flopped to her back. She hated that he was right. Riley was typically curled up, in bed, and on the verge of sleep by 9:30 most weeknights.

“Oh, everything is fine. I just… lost track of time.”

“Yeah? Doing what?” 

His question didn’t feel as if he was prying. He sounded genuine in his interest. Riley worried her lower lip, wishing that she had curiously looked up videos on how to knit or crochet. 

“Nothing. Just…” The idea of lying left a sour feeling in the pit of her stomach. So she skirted the details and addressed it in broad strokes. “I’ve just been thinking. It’s really nothing crazy though. But, hey, why don’t we both go to bed and we can talk about it tomorrow, okay?”

“The fuck we will. What’s wrong, what happened? Is everything alright?” The sleepy timber of his voice was gone, and he now sounded wide awake, and bordering on frantic. 

“It’s literally nothing to worry about. I promise–”

“Riley.”

“Fine just… Just don’t make fun of me, alright?”

“Never. Just talk to me, baby. You’re freaking me out. ‘I’ve been thinking’ sounds like a goddamn death sentence.”

Riley sucked in a slow breath, held it, and released. She tried to control the swell of stinging, hot, embarrassment. She had thought about it so much that it worried her, which drove her to the internet, which worried her more. The fact that she had thought about it enough that she was driven to consult the internet was so stupid–

“Riley, sweetling, come on.”

“Okay, okay.” She babbled, “You have to promise not to make fun of me though, alright?”

“I already said I wouldn’t. Look, if you don’t tell me I’ll drive over there and–”

“Whatifyoudon’tfit?”

“Fucking what?”

I said,” she heaved another heavy breath. “What if… you don’t… fit?”

Silence. Quiet, deafening, silence. Riley waited with baited breath, waiting for him to say something. Anything. It felt as if the quiet stretched on for an eternity before a hint of sound broke through. It was barely there. Muffled. There was a sound like a snort, and then another–

“Don’t you laugh at me, you monster!”

The laughter came through full force suddenly. It was loud, booming, jovial. Riley could imagine him; his head tilted back, eyes squeezed shut tight as he succumbed to it. Imagining him laughing made Riley’s mood darken. He was making fun of her, but he was beautiful when he laughed. The bastard. 

“I–I’m not–I–” His efforts to calm himself only seemed to make the situation that much worse. 

Riley sat up in bed, glaring daggers at her bedroom wall. “Hey, I’m serious!”

Arzok’s rolling laughter slipped into its decline, and eventually he said, “Fuck, sweetheart. You’re–you’re up this late worrying about whether or not my dick will fit–?”

“Yes!” Riley wailed. “I am! Look, I know it’s dumb, but I like you a lot. And if this whole thing doesn’t work out because you have a third arm–” Arzok cackled. “--then that’s really going to suck.”

“Fuck,” Arzok snickered. He sounded absolutely winded from all of the laughter. “I’m not just going to ram it in and hope for the best, Riley. I promise you, we’ll fit together just fine.”

Riley grumbled morosely through his reassurance, thoroughly embarrassed and ready to hide under her bed for the next century. She should have known better than to let her curiosity win. And on top of it, she sure as shit shouldn’t have been data collecting by watching pornography. Even if it was mostly accidental, once she started it was hard to look away and she fell down the rabbit hole. 

“Sweetling,” Arzok growled. “When we are ready to take that step, I’m going to take pleasure in making sure you’re good and ready to take me.”

His voice cut her grumbles short, and she fell into surprised silence. She sucked in a quick breath, searched for a reply, and managed an airy and incredibly eloquent, “Oh.”

“And I’ll make damn sure that you enjoy every fucking second of it, baby.”

The low rasping purr of his voice was warming her in ways that the insane porn videos didn’t. This was for her. She crumbled back into the bed and let her eyes close as he spoke. She imagined lying beside him as he made his dark promises, and that familiar want that had been plaguing her began to flood her system. 

“I’ve thought about you cumming on my tongue as I prepare you to take my cock. Would you like that?”

Riley shivered. The ache in her core assaulted her with no mercy. She could feel her pulse leap in her sex, and the sensations resonated through her body, making her toes curl. 

“I asked you a question, Riley. You will answer me.” Arzok’s tone dipped lower still. It was suddenly threatening in a way that Riley liked far too much. 

She pressed her thighs together, and hummed her agreement. 

“No. You will answer me. Use your words.”

“Yes…” she whispered feebly, feeling more heat gather in the apples of her cheeks. The heat seemed like it was everywhere now, emphasizing her timidities, and fueling the fire he had created with just his voice. 

“Good. Now stop worrying about this shit, you hear me?” The way the threatening rumble of his voice shifted into something entirely casual and bordering on playful smacked into Riley like a Mack truck. The spreading fire was doused with a bucket of water. Her eyes popped open to stare dumbfounded at the ceiling. “I don’t know who got into your head and told you we wouldn’t work, but we will. I can’t tell you how I know that, but I look at you and I can feel it in my goddamn chest. We’ll work. Promise me that you’ll give us a chance before you let someone convince you that we won’t. I–”

“It wasn’t anybody,” Riley said gently. She had initially been willing to let him ride with the assumption that an actual person had stirred up her concerns. Now she didn’t want him to think that she was willingly associating with someone who was trying to cause problems with their relationship. That wasn’t fair. 

“Then what did it? Do I need to slow down? I will…”

“No,” she said quickly. Maybe too quickly. “The only reason I was thinking about it is because I’m-I’m looking forward to it. But… Okay, you can’t make fun of me this time.”

“It can’t be that bad.”

“I assure you, it is. No laughing.”

“No promises.” When she didn’t immediately reply, Arzok pushed onward. “Can you tell me so I’ll stop worrying about it?”

Riley rolled so she could suffocate herself with the pillows in the event that the humiliation proved to be too much. 

“I watched porn, okay?” I watched dirty, filthy, orc-on-human porn and I regret it! Stop laughing–!” He did not stop laughing. “Alright. Well, I’m going to go walk into the ocean now. Goodnight!” 

“Baby, what the fuck?” He was still coming off his most recent bout of laughter. “Wh-why?”

Riley shoved her face into her pillows, mumbling a muffled reply, “Can we stop talking about it?”

“I will never stop talking about it. Fucking wow.”

What a nightmare of a night. If she managed to get to sleep after all of this, she was going to wake up still embarrassed. 

“I’m assuming I don’t need to explain why porn isn’t the most reliable source.”

A mumble of agreement. 

“All of this worrying because some pornstar with a monstercock spooked you,” he said good naturedly. 

“Stop.”

“Alright, alright. I’m done. No more orc porn though, got it?”

“Got it.”

They elapsed into silence, but it felt like Arzok was smiling like an idiot. Riley felt it in her heart. She glowered and mumbled about going to bed. He agreed, and she was almost completely certain she could hear him smiling. 

“Goodnight, sweetheart.”

Almost as soon as they hung up, her phone buzzed once, twice, three times. Three text messages. All from him. Two were images. 

First there was a picture of his face. His torso was bare, his arm curled around a pillow as his dark eyes stared into the camera. His inky hair was splayed out over his big gorgeous shoulders and white sheets. Riley smiled, simply staring into his eyes for a moment.

The text read: 

> Just so you can get an idea of what you’re working with. 

The angle of the picture came from somewhere over his head. It started just at the bottom of his chin, and it went down, down, down over his splayed chest, his stomach, his waist, to the tops of his thighs where the sheet was precariously bunched. His green skin offered a stark, beautiful contrast against the pristine bedding. Basked in warm lamp light, the contours of muscle were highlighted from his pectorals, all the way down to the tantalizing V of his hips. One of his hands was resting over his navel, and she followed the strong musculature of his tattooed arm down, and up, and down again. Riley’s eyes caught on the smattering of dark hair that met the sheet.

That awful (wonderful) orc.

Another buzz. Another message. 

> Sleep sweet, Riley.

[Part 5]

[suffohate]

[x22817]

It's so hard being a library puppy

Having all the space in the empty book store to lay out and take a nap

They had the Wheel of Time Companion book! You know I had to look through all the final battle maps.

[myhauntedsalem]

Make Bad Luck Go Away

If you are experiencing a lot of bad luck, this spell will make that bad luck go away.

3”x3” Paper

Black Marker

Night Time

A Fire

At night time light a small fire in a cauldron or whatever you have available to contain a fire.

Write on a piece of paper that is 3 inches x 3 inches, the words BAD LUCK.

Then write down any bad things you do not like in your life right now.

Then draw a big X across the paper with a black marker. While doing this you should be thinking of how all these things are going to disappear from your life, never to return!

Place the paper in the fire and Say 3x: “Fire, fire burning bright, Turn my darkness into light! Take away my bad luck ill, Bring me nothing but goodwill. Bad luck came and stayed too long, Be gone forever, be gone, be gone! With this fire burning bright, Bring me good luck, bring me light!”

Extinguish fire.

[my-thoughts-and-junk]

the thing about chilshi is that i see it as super one-sided on chilchuck's part and that's some shit he's bringing to the grave with him

[ebbpettier]

i don't believe in the fandom concept of problematic faves (all characters should have at least one Problem, i think, for flavor) but if i did, fiona pitch would have a permanent throne at the very top of my list. i just think she's neato-cheetos.

[im-a-freaking-joy]

HEre is an incredibly niche pet peeve I’ve discovered that I have and im going to rant about it 

so i’ve recently gotten into vintage knitting thanks in large part to retro claude on youtube, she makes great content on vintage clothes and how she manages all that with her disability, its very helpful and nice and i have learned a lot! one of the things being that in a lot of vintage patterns for knitting, (1930′s and 40′s specifically) the yarn used is a 3 ply yarn. Now in modern day, the vast majority of our yarn is 4 ply. 4 ply is heavier and thicker, so if you’re working from a pattern your gauge will be off and it wont fit right unless you do a whole lot of math. 

However! although it is not usually 3 plies (strands of fiber that get twisted together, so 3 ply is 3 strands and 4 ply is 4, so on and so on) yarn for babies is usually very similar! It’s a lot less heavy than worsted weight 4 ply yarn, and some baby yarns are even 3 ply! they are also quite cheap and easy to find, as most 3 ply yarns are not very easily accessible. 

NOw heres wehre i get mad

BABY YARN IS ALL FUCKING PASTEL

not only is this infuriating for me as a knitter who wants my beautiful jewel tones and rich earth tones and dark greens and bright fun colors, its also not great for babies cause guess what???

BABIES CANT SEE FUCKING PASTEL

so many baby stuff is brightly colored *on purpose* so they can learn what color is. Toddlers who live in a minimalist beige/pastel house color in browns and greys cause THATS WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!!!  so in conclusion, please make more baby yarn that is not pastel because pastels are nice on occasion but not all of the time and I want more soft light cheap easily machine washable yarn in colors I will actually wear

[othmeralia]

John Dee needed to make this note about good angels... I wonder what he wrote about bad angels!

Found inside: A true and faithful relation of what passed for many yeers between Dr. John Dee (a mathematician of great fame in Q. Eliz. and King James their reignes) and some spirits

[disconinjacircus]

Remember folks; the Garfield meme is an appropriate way to end conversations with fascists and ill-tempered family members

[devilry-revelry]

Untitled - Male Orc x Female Human (Part 1)

TW: Creeps in vans following women at night (?)

It's literally just fluff, 0 spice.

-

“You’re bleeding,” Riley replied dumbly. “You just… You just tackled a van.”

The corner of the orc’s mouth quirked.

-

The meeting invitation appeared in Riley’s inbox at precisely 4:40PM. 20 minutes before she was due to clock out. It appeared with a cheery chime, as if it wasn’t delivering an urgent 4:50 meeting invite. 

The subject was listed in all caps, with a big red exclamation point:

TOMORROW’S AUDIT

Various department heads were also listed on the meeting invite, but their presence was notably listed as optional, while hers was listed as a required attendance. None of the other recipients showed up to the meeting. It was just her, and her manager that met in the conference room. Riley hoped that the minimal attendance would mean that the meeting would be short and she would get out of the office and to the bus stop on time. The meeting was brief, and ended in less than the noted 10 minutes. 

Her manager tacked on a cheery, “I’ll give you these three minutes back.” sort of comment as if she wasn’t off-handing a to-do list of hours worth of work that was due by the start of business the next day. While the work wasn’t difficult, it was endlessly frustrating. It was last-second busy work that wouldn’t have been necessary if the un-required-attendance team followed standard practice and procedures while going about their daily tasks. They didn’t, though. So Riley got to review the previous year’s files, and make necessary corrections and additions. 

A couple of extra bodies would have made the job fast but Riley was flying solo, and it took her hours to finish. By the time she locked up the office and got outside it was nearing midnight. The buses had most definitely stopped running for the day. While she had been considering ordering a ride, she ultimately decided that she didn’t live too far away. Her apartment was only a couple miles away, and it wouldn’t kill her to get her steps in. The evening was pleasant, warm and clear with a bit of a breeze. If it wasn’t for the too-tall buildings of the business district, she would have been able to see the moon and the stars. 

As pleasant as the evening air was, it was almost eerie. Riley had only ever been to the business district during business hours, where there was an almost constant bustle of people and cars milling about the street. After hours (before hours, in this case) it was a ghost town. The only thing that disrupted the quiet was the delicate clicking of her kitten heels–

And the sound of an engine, as a windowless white van cruised by her and up the road. 

Riley made a quiet, grim, joke about the van. It touched on kidnappers and free candy, and ended with her convincing herself that the driver was probably some blue collar worker that had a late night just like she did. 

A block later and she spotted the van again, this time doubling back the way it came. She wondered if the driver was lost, or if she was just walking so slow that the driver went and picked up some fast food and was doubling back to go home. 

The third time Riley saw the windowless van she cursed her manager so hard that she hoped that everyone in her bloodline felt it.

It was easier to believe that she had an overactive imagination than to believe that someone would be following her in an actual creeper-mobile in the middle of the night. She felt guilty when she attempted to snap a picture of the license plate as it cruised up the road and out of sight, still partially convinced that she was overreacting. She considered calling the police, and then talked herself out of it. What would she say, anyway? That someone was driving by a lot? And what would the police say? Could they even really do anything if nothing had been done?

On the van’s fourth pass, Riley realized that getting her steps in just might actually kill her. 

The idea of taking an alleyway shortcut surfaced, and she quickly stomped it down. A little more bad luck and going down the alleyway could result in her own missing person ad. Getting home as fast as she could seemed optimal, but then she couldn’t help but think about potentially leading the van straight to her apartment building and living with the knowledge that they would know where she lived. So she took a detour. It would tack a good 15 minutes on to her journey, but the new route would take her through the entertainment district. It would be well lit, and more populated. She would bypass a couple of bars. Maybe they stayed open late on weeknights. She could duck inside, call a cab, call the police, call her mom and tell her that she regretted ever moving to the city.

On the fifth pass, Riley was turning onto the main thoroughfare of the entertainment district. Unfortunately, the street wasn’t the thriving place she knew it to be on the weekend. It was just as dead as her primary route, and while it was better lit it wasn’t the beacon of light and music she had wanted it to be. 

The road she veered down was one-way, and while the van didn’t turn after her, it slowed in the intersection considerably before driving off. As soon as the vehicle was out of view, Riley pulled off her heels and started to run. She made it a single block before her heart was pounding so hard she could hear it pulse in her ears, and despite the favorable weather she started to shiver. Regardless of it all, there was still some part of her insisting that she was overreacting, that this sort of fear-response was insanely dramatic. Time crawled. Seconds felt like hours. Feet felt like miles. 

By the time an open bar came into view she felt like crying. 

Just outside of the streetlight, the exterior was aglow with wicked crimson neon, and there was a row of motorcycles lining the sidewalk. There were a total of two people lingering outside and they were very visibly non-human. One of the figures was distinctly draconic or reptilian in nature. A figure with sharp teeth, dark scales, and glowing eyes. The other could have been mistaken for a very big human if it wasn’t for the large tusks jutting up from his bottom row of teeth. They stood side-by-side, leaning against the building, each nursing a pint. 

There was a fresh wave of paranoia that surfaced (what if the driver had been herding her in this direction?). She mentally prepared for the worst, and desperately hoped for the best as she made a mad dash towards the bar. She got a couple feet into the street then came to an abrupt stop.

The van was in the intersection right next to the bar. The tinted windows were like black mirrors, reflecting the green glow from the street light, and the red neon from the bar. 

Riley backpedaled back to the sidewalk. Her entire body was quaking now in big fitful shudders. She wasn’t getting enough air. 

The streetlight flicked over to a flashing yellow. And then red. 

There was a whistle, loud and so shrill it made Riley flinch. Her eyes tore away from the van and landed on the two magick that loomed outside of the bar, just beyond the line of motorcycles. The orc had discarded his beer and had stepped away from the building. Even from across the street, Riley noted him to be huge – and he looked downright monstrous with the blood-red neon lining his figure. 

“You good, babe?”

The orc’s draconic companion set his drink aside, attention glued to the loitering vehicle. Riley followed his glowing gaze. 

The light had changed back to green, and the van was beginning to ease forward into the intersection at an intimidating crawl. Breathless, and feeling weak, Riley pointed at the van. 

And that was all it took. 

Riley barely even lifted her hand to gesture at the van, and it caused the orc to take a running charge at it. His long dark hair splayed behind him with the burst of speed. His face contorted in a vicious snarl. Tires squealed. The van lurched forward but it wasn’t fast enough. The orc had already closed the distance. 

He slammed into the driver’s side door. The window shattered. The collision was delivered with so much force that the driver’s side of the vehicle lifted off of the ground and for a moment it teetered on the passenger side wheels. There was a terrified scream, the van righted itself – and then it sped off into the night.

The orc stalked after it for a few paces, swearing in a language that was harsh and guttural. 

Riley watched, awestruck. 

Breathing was suddenly easier. 

When the orc turned towards her, his whole demeanor changed. He was no longer some rage-fueled beast charging into battle. He was no longer a snarling mass of anger and muscle. His movements were more gentle, his demeanor softening as he made a tentative approach. He treated her like a frightened deer who was ready to run. 

“Hey,” he said. His voice was low and gentle, the edges curling with something husky and rough. “Hey, honey, are you alright?”

Riley took him in as he approached. The massive, looming height. The tattooed sleeves of black on his arms that started at his biceps then faded as it stretched down towards his wrists. The tusks that reached up past his sharp nose, the stern brow that loomed over dark eyes. The blood. There was blood on his face, blood on the neck of his white t-shirt.

“You’re bleeding,” Riley replied dumbly. “You just… You just tackled a van.”

The corner of the orc’s mouth quirked, “Yeah, well. I think I had some alright reasoning. Looks like you might be bleeding too.”

“What?” Riley practically squawked. Her hand reached up to her forehead, feeling around the same area where he had sustained his own injury. 

The orc chuckled softly, “Your foot.”

Riley looked down to her nylon covered feet, and saw stamps of blood on the pavement. Awareness tore through the already dwindling adrenaline. Stinging pain blossomed in the pad of her foot. 

“Oh.” She lifted her foot, cursing as she saw another stamp of blood on the sidewalk. Tears began to prickle at the corners of her eyes. “Oh. Ouch.”

A big hand touched her elbow, warm and grounding. She looked up, up, up at the orc who now stood beside her. Jesus, he was massive. And quiet on his feet. 

“Why don’t we get you inside. We can get you cleaned up then get you home.”

Riley fumbled with her thoughts. She managed to stammer out a feeble, “You’ve already done enough, sir. Thank you, but–”

“Arzok,” he said. He stepped in a bit closer, his voice gentling even further. “I’m going to pick you up now. We don’t want you getting anything in whatever is already bleeding.”

“No, really,” Riley insisted. “I’m fine. I’m–”

“What’s your name, sweetheart?”

“I– Riley–”

“It’s nice to meet you, Riley.  I want you to take a deep breath. Nice and slow. Good girl.” He smiled, and Riley’s nerves began to settle. “I’m going to pick you up. We are going to cross the street and go inside, and we’re going to get you cleaned up. Okay?”

Swallowing, Riley nodded. She took another deep breath. “‘Kay.”

Arzok dipped down and scooped her up into his arms like she weighed nothing. He strode across the street, calm and casual. Like he didn’t just nearly overturn a van by himself. Riley stared up into his face, barely even processing that the dragon that had been with him, told them that he called the police and reported the incident, and the plate number. Arzok replied in that language Riley didn’t understand, and then they entered the bar. 

Music blared into her ears as soon as the door opened. The smell of fried food and liquor assaulted her senses. If she hadn’t been on the brink of having a good old fashioned come-apart, it might have been a fun place to hang out but in the moment it was far too much. Riley turned her face into Arzok’s chest and took another calming breath. When she turned her attention outward, she was being carried behind the bar, and through the walkway near the kitchen. The smell of fry oil became especially pungent. He took a turn into what appeared to be an office space, and then on into the adjoining bathroom. It was a clean space, and well lit; likely reserved for staff. It smelled clean. Like air freshener with a touch of bleach. 

Arzok set Riley on the bathroom counter then knelt to dig through the cabinetry beneath her. Not a moment later and a first aid kit was being set beside him. He popped it open and dug through the contents for a moment. 

“So. Why are you out so late, Riley?”

“I–” The nylon on her wounded foot was torn away, shredding with a wisp of sound. Riley grimaced and recoiled, suddenly reminded that her feet were probably disgusting and dirty. “I can do this. You can go ahead and go.”

Still kneeling on the bathroom floor, his fingers circled her ankle and held her still. “Let me,” he said. “You can do me next.” 

Something about him managed to calm her worries, and she settled onto the counter. She was rewarded with a wink, then he was all business.

He opened a tiny-packaged towelette and started rubbing the asphalt and dirt from her foot. He tossed the soiled wipe into the trash, then unpackaged a fresh one to clean the cut itself. “Talk to me. Why are you out so late? And alone, no less…”

“I was given some last minute overtime,” Riley grumbled. “The buses stopped running a couple of hours ago. So…” her shoulders hiked up to her ears. 

“Shit, sweetheart. You don’t have a boyfriend who could have come to pick you up?”

Riley snorted inelegantly, “No.”

Arzok’s dark eyes met hers. He paused in his work, his hand still clasped around her ankle. He smiled slowly as he drawled, “Would you like one?”

The surprise was short lived, cut off by sharp acrid pain as he pressed an alcohol doused swab against the cut on her foot. Tears instantly gathered in Riley’s eyes and she tried to yank her herself from his grasp, but Arzok held firm. He crooned quiet words of encouragement until the pain receded. When he was finished cleaning the laceration, he wrapped her foot with a bit of gauze and medical tape. 

“Your turn.”

Arzok rose from the ground placing the first aid kit beside Riley. Before she had the chance to hop down from the counter, he placed his big hands on either side of her legs, then leaned in. He tilted his head just so, giving her clear and easy access to the cut on his forehead. 

It was daunting, being so close to someone so big – and yet she wasn’t afraid. There wasn’t a single alarm bell telling her body that it needed to fight or flee. It was strange, albeit quiet contentment. Riley rationalized it by summing it up to the fact that Arzok had tackled a van because she had pointed at it. And he potentially (probably) saved her life. 

Riley fretted after the cut first. She was concerned with the amount of blood. It was on the side of his face, his neck, his shirt. Despite the amount of blood, it was a small little cut. He’d been drinking, and it was a head wound. It was treated with an alcohol swab, which Arzok took without even flinching, and then Riley tasked herself with scrubbing away the blood. 

“So?” Arzok asked as she worked. 

“So what?” 

He smiled, turning his head to pin her with his dark gaze, but Riley took his chin in her hand and turned him away. He laughed, “So can I get your number, Riley?”

She pulled her hands away, physically recoiling with her surprise. “What? Why?”

“Because I think you’re fucking cute, and I’d like to take you on a date. Maybe I can be the one you call when you get saddled with more overtime.”

“You don’t mean that,” came the fast reply. It wasn’t that Riley didn’t think herself worthy of a man’s attention. When she picked the right clothes, and put a bit of effort into her appearance, Riley could pick up a man no problem. But her most recent visit to the dating pool didn’t end well, and beyond that she was wearing her work clothes, looking deliberately mousey and – after running for her life – messy. She looked disheveled, and on the verge of falling apart. 

“Yes I do.” He grabbed her wrists, gently guiding them away from his face. He stayed stooped over so he was eye-level. “Let me take you home. Let me give you my number and you can use it if you want to.”

Once again, Riley was quietly amazed that no alarm bells sounded. She didn’t wrestle with the idea of a stranger taking her home. It was one of those things that felt natural to do. This was the closest that Riley had ever been to an orc and she was only somewhat perplexed by her level of comfort. The amount of forwardness he showed should have been a bit more off putting, but Riley found it endearing. 

What were the symptoms of shock? What was the reverse of Stockholm syndrome?

“Fine,” she eventually said, obeying the curious gut instinct to allow the orc to take care of her. “But only because you tackled a van for me.”

Arzok smiled big, triumphant and charming, “Good fucking deal.”

[Part 2] [Part 3]

[prettyciggy]

sharing some of grandma's recipes 🩷 she's OUR grandma now. she tends to give simple recipes for easy bases - add whatever you'd like to them!

recipes:

- chicken noodle soup

- chicken salsa soup

- sweet potato curry

- gumbo

- how to make rice

- homemade bread. peasant, flat, and fried

CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP

- buy roasted chicken. place in pot with water filled about halfway up chicken. leave to boil for 40min-hour [good for walking away and doing things. boiling it makes it super easy to get the bones out. you can also just pick the meat you want off if you're in a hurry)

- pick out bones / add boneless meat to pot with water or broth from store (as much broth as you want)

- 1tb bouillon, bay leaf [i double this for stronger flavor]

- any seasonings you want. my personal favs are creole or yellow curry. parsley is delicious as well and discourages bad breath >:]

- veggies: sliced carrots, celery, chopped onions

- bring to a boil for cooking then turn down heat, leave for 10 min

- noodles! any that you want. grandma's favorite are egg noodles. cook until noodles are desired texture

great granny made this for my gma served on top of mashed potatoes

makes multiple servings! good for easy leftovers

CHICKEN SALSA SOUP

- saute / fry chopped onion in butter. add 1 pint water and 1.5 cup salsa

- 1 tsp cumin, 1 tsp chili powder, 1-2 tb bouillon, as much garlic as you want (i personally double this)

- when it starts boiling add 1-2 cups of corn (canned or frozen)

- add bite sized chicken. i always buy my chicken precooked bc i have anxiety about it LOL. cook for 5 minutes longer

serve with sour cream, chips, and cheese

SWEET POTATO CURRY

- fry 1 chopped onion and 1 chopped sweet potato together with butter

- add a little water (don't fully cover food) and cover to steam about 10 minutes

- buy bottle of red or green curry sauce. 3 tbs. or about half the bottle. curry paste or powder also works! use same amount and adjust as desired

- add 1 cup of water with 2 tsp bouillon

- i personally add some cooked shredded chicken and a bit of creole seasoning and parsley. not called for in recipe

- add coconut milk once potatos are fully cooked and soft

- low heat until desired temperature

served with rice and flat bread

COOPER FAMILY GUMBO

cook in a big pot

- 1 bag frozen okra. chopped or chop yourself. fry with small amount of oil until it stops being stringy. takes about 10 min depending on amount. add to pot after

- add chopped: onion, green pepper, celery (1 onion, 1 big pepper, 2 celery for base recipe. i do some spicy peppers as well. add more as desired)

- 1 24-32oz can of diced tomatoes

- 2tbs bouillion (i use veggie bouillion, meat kinds are good too) (grandma uses this for an easy roux replacement) (roux recipe: butter and flour in low to medium heated pan. mix until golden brown. add creole seasoning)

- about 1 qts of water (i personally love broth so i just fill until im satisfied) (i will also use 3 32oz containers of broth instead of water for flavor)

- season with parsley, 2 bay leaves, plenty of tonys creole seasoning (i also add curry powder, onion powder, garlic powder, and lemon black pepper) (creole is main soup seasoning for gumbo) (the brand is just Cooper Family preference)

- once veggies are soft add bite sized cooked chicken, sausage, shrimp (i don't usually include shrimp bc of texture. i use a cooked chicken from the store and just tear it up so it's stringy. creole or beef sausage is my favorite) (i recently found some dried shrimp at my store and added that, good replacement for texture issues)

serve over rice with bread. best breads are garlic french bread or flat bread. normal bread slices also work just fine

creole is a little spicy, so taste test for desired amount as you're adding

FOR RICE IF YOU DONT HAVE RICE COOKER:

- add 1 cup rice or more

- WASH! rinse rice in water, mix with hands, and drain multiple times until water is no longer milky colored (doesn't have to be 100% clear)

- fill water until it's a little above the rice. measure with finger, i usually do a little under the first knuckle

- cover pot and leave to cook on medium heat. if it starts to boil, immediately turn down heat to low.

- once all water is evaporated, add butter and salt! serve with whatever you'd like

for YELLOW rice add 1-2 tb butter and 1 tsp turmeric, throw in some fried onions if you're feeling fancy!

grandma liked adding 1-2 tb of ketchup and fried onions to plain cooked rice. said it gave it a great reddish color LMAO

HOMEMADE BREADS

PEASANT BREAD BASE RECIPE

- 2 cups of warm water

      - for rosemary bread add crushed rosemary at this part

      - add any seasonings you want or leave plain! either way is delicious

- 1 tbs yeast, 2 tbs sugar, 2 tbs salt

let rest until yeast is activated (looks sticky/foamy/expanded)

- add up to 4 cups of flour. mix each cup in as you pour, the dough will be sticky and can be mixed with a fork

- cover with cloth and leave it to rise. will double in size. i usually walked away to leave it for an hour, im not sure if it actually takes that long tho lmao

- preheat oven to 375

- get your baking bread bowl or pan and butter VERY well to prevent the dough from sticking. i tend to cover the dough and pan in butter. if you don't have an oven bread pan or whatever it's called (my gma called it a cereal bowl i DONT think that's correct hahahah), then a flat pan will work just fine! bowl is just for shape. gma divides bread into 2 loafs, i divide into rolls or flatten it for flatbread!

- cover again in rag and let dough rise a 2nd time before placing in oven

loaves take about 20 minutes, but just bake until bread is a golden brown :] grandma likes adding sesame seeds before putting bread in oven

recipe works for pretty much anything! pizza dough, loafs, rolls, flatbread

FLATBREAD

- follow peasant bread recipe up until the 1st rise of the dough

- butter or spray cookie sheet with oil, spread dough thin

- brush top with melted butter, sesame seeds, parsley, and parmesan cheese

- bake at 325 until golden brown

i personally add some sliced chery tomatoes, rosemary, cheese, and creole seasoning to top bread before placing in the oven. then more cheese directly after pulling it out.

FRY BREAD

- after 1st rise, divide and hand flatten dough into thin circles

- paint with melted butter and let rest for 5-10 minutes

- fill a pan about 1/3rd with oil, high or medium heat while dough is resting in butter

- cook in oil until crispy golden brown

delicious with curry or gumbo!

[x22817]

I think she looks like such a dork in this picture I had to post it

We went to Cabela's yet again as it is my father's favorite place to go when he visits. We spent our time weaving through the store while he shopped. Hek and I went up and down every single aisle. Every time we stopped, she got a treat. Every dog we came across, she got a treat. Every kid who ran around us, she got a treat.

I got to go through my entire treat pouch!

On our way out, I picked up some pig skin bones for later. We don't eat much pork. Maybe a pig ear every once in a while. But we've never had pig skin bones before. I hope she likes them!

[thefabelmans2022]

everyone likes to think that if they lived in salem in 1692 they'd be the lone person to stand up in the meeting house and go "actually witches aren't real" and that everyone else would go "oh my god you're so right i can't believe we almost did that thank god for you you're soooooo smart and hot and sexy and we're going to crown you monarch of the massachussets bay colony" but they wouldn't be. if you lived in salem in 1692 you would also probably have believed in witches.