#based on that one text post I’ve seen floating around somewhere

[jamnsketch]

surely, surely, surely

[gayandvibin]

One day,,, I will be free of all these fucking asignmence,,

But until that day here’s the first sketch I’ve done in months that I actually like the look of.

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Picross 3D Host

Debut: WarioWare: Snapped! (no not really. It is Picross 3D)

Hello! I feel like we have not had Funky Friday in kind of a while. But that doesn’t matter because here’s one right now! I feel obligated to announce when it is Funky Friday so we don’t have another incident where someone unfollows us because we posted about Pico Pets.

I love Picross a lot! It is great. It is fun and satisfying and leads to wacky discoveries like GRAND GOOMBAS, and pretty much ALWAYS has a Mola mola puzzle somewhere! And that is in fact what made me interested in Picross 3D!

When I learned that THIS was in Picross 3D, I just had to play it. It did not matter if I was overwhelmed at the implications of Picross in a whole new dimension. I was ready to brave anything for my dear Mola! 

And when I started playing... I was met with a new, never-before-seen dear!

This little creacher, on the top screen! What a creacher this is! A common response when seeing it is for the brain to jump to the conclusion of “duck”. We see an eye on a yellow shape, and a connected orange shape, with a “nostril” on it. That's Duck! However... it is not! This is no duck whatsoever! First and foremost, it is a cuboid creature, with floating cube hands, and what appears to be a bill is actually a depression in the face itself, the bottom surface sometimes emoting like a mouth! And finally, that’s no nostril, it’s a second, mismatched eye! This creature is a beautiful, absolutely splendid piece of abstract art, and I have even better news... it is our gracious host!

I’ve seen this creature referred to as the “mascot”, but I don’t think that’s right. The mascot is the blocky puppy on the game’s cover and cartridge. THIS creature greets us, invites us into the world of Picross 3D, teaches us how everything works, constantly supervises us, and tells us fun facts about the puzzles we complete. This is no mere mascot, but a kind, smart, and capable host!

I have already said a good deal about it, but I am just getting started, for I have thoroughly analyzed everything I absolutely could about this very creature. I have learned about its anatomy, its abilities, its personality, its likes, its dislikes, its fears, and its favored palindromes. And I will share some of my favorite points from the long list of things I have learned!

Firstly, we shall discuss its anatomy. Despite its sharp and blocky appearance, our host is quite soft and flexible, able to contort and twist in all sorts of ways! It can even transform into forms such as a mermaid and a wrapped present- in which form it even changes color! Could it perhaps be the very essence of blocks given life, allowing it to become any part of this block-based world?

Whatever the case, it is most certainly MADE of blocks! Maybe that is obvious, but I feel I should mention it anyway. When it is hit in a certain manner, individual blocks may fly out, able to be played with and shoved back in! This seems painless and purely recreational, but what may NOT be painless is when a puzzle is failed and the host “dies”, collapsing into an inert pile of blocks! Perhaps, however, this is all an act, adding to the spectacle of the game. What a good host!

Next we analyze: the floaty hands! THESE floaty hands are particularly versatile. They can roll like wheels, propelling the creature at higher speeds, and they can spin around, allowing it to fly! Unlockable animations even give insight into the nature of such limbs, showing that they can in fact be separated from the main body if the creature is caught off guard!

Even with such an innovative body plan, though, our host doesn’t quite have it all. It muses about wanting a tail when explaining how versatile a fox’s is, and it can’t lift twice its own body weight. Also, it has blood! It is quite scared of bloodsucking bats, evidently because it has something they want. Blood!

And now, we move from a biological to a psychological analysis! The menus and descriptions are all given in first person with our darling creature in the corner of the text box, and that clearly indicates that it is meant to be the one speaking. So what have I discovered? That it is pretty much a perfect being! The Host is kind and nurturing, values creativity and positive thinking, and cares deeply about the environment. It thinks squirrels are cute, sea stars are amazing, and waterwheels are quaint. Above all else, it loves to rest and relax. And to think some players call it creepy!

That’s not all there is to this creature, though. That would be unrealistic. Did you really think the character dancing on the top screen of this puzzle game would be just a one-dimensional goody two shoes? Well, it’s THREE dimensional! Capable of sarcasm and cheekiness and that sort of stuff! For example, it’ll reveal an incredibly obscure term, only to follow up with “I can’t believe you knew that!”, or “but you already knew that, right? (wink)”. 

Our host also has some rather particular thoughts on what is and isn’t cool, so if you want to impress it, you’d best listen closely here! It thinks that the act of riding a unicycle looks quite cool, but that snorkel goggles do NOT look cool. As such, we can assume that someone riding a unicycle while wearing snorkel goggles appears as average as average can be!

There is still so much to talk about with the delightful host of Picross 3D, but this post must end at some point, so it will here. I hope you have a newfound appreciation for this fascinating creature you likely had never seen in your life! But one last thing...

Much more well known than our host is Dr. Lobe, of Big Brain Academy! I mention him because not only is he also wonderful, but they have quite a lot in common! Both their games are part of the Touch! Generations label, and with all the fun facts the Picross 3D host provides, it’s clearly an intellectual. These two should be friends! They probably already are!

[enkelimagnus]

A Castle in the Forest

Percy x Vex’ahlia, Chapter 6, 3943 words,

A Modern AU, in which Vex is a park ranger taking over the Alabaster Sierras post, and finds much more than she bargained for

Read on AO3

Back to Vex, on her path to hunt a fiend...

----------------

“It’s fine, thank you anyway.”

Vex slams the red button on her phone, as if clicking on it harder will make her frustration known to the world. She wishes she had an older phone so she could slam down the handset onto the base. It would be like slamming a door at the end of an argument; a physical show of her feelings.

She’s been on the phone all morning, trying desperately to get some answers on what she’s supposed to do with the fiend now that it has killed at least one person. Not anyone, at that, someone trained to take things down and keep parks protected. If Regae was anything like her, he had put up a fight before dying. But the creature had prevailed.

The one thing she was told about was the Grey Hunt. Not only did the Pale Guard officer tell her about it on the crime scene, but pretty much everyone she’s tried calling told her to ask them. Except they don’t exist anymore. They haven’t in years.

There are no records of previous members either. Vex wants to scream in frustration. For the first time since she’s arrived, she realizes how alone she is. She wasn’t so alone before. In Shademurk, she could ask Saundor and if he was in a good mood and if she played her cards right, he would use his amazing influence to help her. Here she has no one. She almost misses him.

What? No. She doesn’t miss him. She can’t miss him, she won’t. The fact that he was supposed to love her and that she had to bargain with him, the very sovereign of Shademurk Bog, to get him to do anything for her, from dishes to actually working with her to make Shademurk better.

She doesn’t miss him. At all. Her new home is completely clear of him, empty of memories of him. She’s not going to choke on his presence every time she looks somewhere. It’s better here. She’s better now than she ever was before.

If Saundor was here, he would take credit for her strength, for her work. He would say he made her, shaped her into the ranger he is today. He always used to say that. She used to believe him.

Vex stands from her chair and paces a little into the cabin. No Grey Hunt. No Pale Guard. As far as she knows, Pike Trickfoot and Grog Strongjaw are still willing to go hunt a fiend with her. That’s all she has. Her own limited abilities, a cleric and a goliath. And no Vax.

She told him to stay in Westrunn a little. She was hoping to have the fiend problem sorted before he arrived, to be honest, so she wouldn’t have to ask for his help. He’s helped her way too much already.

Besides, she’d rather know he’s with Gilmore, enjoying himself and his boyfriend. They don’t see each other enough. She can manage without him. She should be able to. She’s a strong, capable person.

In the bathroom, she splashes cold water onto her face, forcefully clearing her thoughts. When she looks up from the sink to look into the mirror, she swallows, hard. She looks tired. There are dark circles in the brown skin below her eyes. Her lips are cracked, from the cold. She’s forgotten to put on lip balm. Her hair is dirty, greasy.

It’s been three days. Three days since she’s received that call on the forgotten radio. Three days and she’s already forgotten to take care of herself. She’s really holding on by a thread, isn’t she?

Her nails dig painfully into her palm and only then does she stop staring at her own tired face.

She walks away and slams the door behind herself. The force makes the wall shudder and it feels right. Vex smiles a little. That was the first hint of satisfaction she’s felt since her arrow shot through Donovan Clarence’s hand.

The cub at her feet whines a little, turning over from where he’d been napping.

“I’m sorry,” she says softly and crouches to pet the dark brown fur. “Slamming the door woke you up, huh?” She asks softly.

The cub leans into her hand like he’s starving for touch. He’s always going to forgive her for these things, isn’t he? Her smile widens slightly, growing more relaxed and genuine.

Her phone buzzes and she reaches for it, before sitting on the floor next to the cub. It’s a text from Vax, with an image attached. She opens the image first.

It’s a photo of the inside of a shop, large and filled with glass-covered shelves. She can see the shine of gold and silver and precious gems behind the glass. Her eyebrow raises. The fact they’re still behind glass and not in Vax’s sneaky hand is surprising. She looks over at the caption of the image.

Exercise in restraint: Gilmore’s shop. Many trinkets, none for me.

About five different dirty remarks come to Vex’s mind but she pushes them back. Vax is a bit uncomfortable with discussions of his sex life, joking unfactual remarks or not. She’s not going to make him uncomfortable now.

She takes a picture of the cub snuggled in the space between her crossed legs.

I saw this one and couldn’t help myself… Trinket addiction running in the family?

She sends the picture but looks down at the cub with a thought. Trinket is a good name. She likes it. Loves it, actually.

“May I call you Trinket, darling?” She asks. Giving him a name means keeping him, but she’s far past that point now. She’s known it, deep down for a while.

The cub doesn’t seem to mind it. Vex presses a kiss to the furry head with a smile, the biggest in a long time.

They say rangers often find companions. Vex has just found hers.

-------------

They meet at the mouth of the trail, the way they’d originally planned. It’s a few days later than expected, yes, but Vex has been busy desperately trying to get some sort of official help. She was hoping not to have to ask Pike and Grog.

She sees the goliath before the gnome, the giant axe hanging heavy over the man’s shoulder. By his side, the cleric looks way less aggressive. Vex doesn’t know which one will be more useful. Divine healing or brute force. Either way, she’s incredibly glad to have someone by her side right now.

“So,” she smiles nervously. “Thank you for coming. I apologize for pushing back the date of meeting. I was hoping to get some sort of professional help, but it seems like Whitestone doesn’t have the infrastructure.”

The cleric, Pike, nods. “The city has seen a lot of things.”

Vex doesn’t know what that means, really. She doesn’t ask. Not right now. She’ll ask later, once they have a dead fiend and a victory under their belt. People were much more likely to spill secrets if adrenaline and serotonin were flowing through their veins.

Sometimes, she’s almost ashamed of the many tricks she’s learned throughout the years. And then she remembers it was people like the Syngornian Elves and Saundor who made her learn these things,and she stops feeling like she should have somehow stayed innocent through all the shit they put her through.

They start on their way, not to where she initially sensed the fiend, but to where the body was found. It’s more likely that they’ll find usable traces there.

The winter cold bites at her cheeks, but the goliath is shirtless. She raises an eyebrow, both respectful and thinking him mad to be out there like this. They start climbing up the trail in relative silence, with the crunching of their boots and the jingling of the cleric’s chainmail.

Vex doesn’t know what kind of small talk to do now. This is not a light-hearted situation, and she just wants the creature out of her woods.

“Have you killed fiends before?” The goliath asks after a moment.

Vex looks over at him over her shoulder. “Not a fiend, no. I’ve killed other things. Fey, mostly.”

Pike raises an eyebrow. “Fey? Were you around the doors to the Feywild before you came to the Alabaster Sierras?”

Vex hesitates for a moment. It’s a lot of information to give to complete strangers. She shrugged the paranoia off however. “I was. I was tasked with keeping an eye on a part of the Verdant Expanse, that, just like Syngorn, can switch between the Feywild and our plane. I lived in the Feywild for a part of my time there.”

“That’s so cool!” Pike grins and Vex can’t help the smile that tugs at the corner of her lips.

It is pretty cool.

The Feywild is somewhere most people have barely heard of, let alone visited. And Vex, though in pretty horrible circumstances, has been able to call it home for a moment of her life. On the way up the trail, her two companions manage to coax her into recounting the Feywild.

She tells them of the permanent dusk, of the sun that’s always at its most beautiful, its most reddening and purpling state duskward of Shademurk. She tells them of the dark of the night on the other side, of looking at the sky and never knowing exactly the time. She tells them of age-old trees that hold secrets they only tell the worthy.

She tells them of dryads and naiads and the howling of lycans. She doesn’t tell them of Saundor but she tells them of Fenthras.

One day, she’ll reach under her bed, take it out and shoot. It’s still the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen, the wood alive and the power tangible. She still dreams of wielding it, as she runs free through ever shifting woods, laughter on her lips.

When they make it to the campsite where the body was found, she feels lighter than she has in a long time. Both the cleric and the goliath are smiling lightly. They exchange a look, and then get to work.

Vex sits on a stone and starts expanding her consciousness as Pike runs identifying and tracking spells on whatever magic trace they can find. It’s hard to tune out her kind babbling or Grog’s regular deep-toned comments, but Vex finally manages and exhales.

With her breath goes her mind and soon she finds herself floating, drifting, one with the wind and with nature. She barely has to wait to find the fiendish presence. It pings on her mental radar loud and clear and close.

Way too close. They’re close to its lair.

Vex’s eyes open wide and she comes back crashing into herself. She barely gives herself time to come back into her body before she shoots to her feet and shares her findings. Grog takes his giant axe out. Pike unclasps a mace the size of her body from Grog’s back.

Vex takes her bow in hand and notches an arrow, ready to draw and shoot. They start walking in the direction where she can still feel the echoing presence of the creature. It rests heavy on her back of her neck, a pressure she can’t shake.

They walk into higher grass off of beaten paths. Vex slips into the underbrush with ease, but it’s far from the case for the two accompanying her. Pike in particular makes great noise and gets caught in almost every weed she can possibly get caught on. Vex huffs. Here goes the effect of surprise.

They find the lair empty, and her heart tightens in her chest. Fuck. It knows they are there.

A shape moves from the shadows overhead and Vex immediately reacts. Her body moves without her thinking anything through. Her arrow shoots through the air and hits right in the middle of the creature’s chest. It screams in pain. Vex smirks. She’s good at this.

The creature has stopped long enough for all of them to see what it is. It’s tall, Vex’s size. Its skin is spiky, barbed, horns sprouting from its skull. Its scream makes the air around it shiver with heat.

The scream is immediately answered by one from Grog. The goliath steps forward with bloodshot eyes and angry determination. He swings his axe forward and pounces on the creature. Maybe his rage has distracted him, because his axe swings wide, the creature too fast to be hit by the massive weapon.

The cleric immediately jumps into action, hands shining with divine light as she reaches up with her holy symbol. Vex can see the wings of Sarenrae carved onto the metal before they disappear behind the burning white light. It shoots out of the symbol and hits the creature.

It screams again as the radiant light engulfs it, lighting it up and burning it with divine power. If they were in darkness, it would be obvious to all of them now. There’s no way any of them are going to miss their next hit against it.

Grog has gotten too close to the creature however, and though it’s still burning with light, it takes no time to attack the giant target the goliath makes. It swipes at the grey-skinned man, one hand missing before the second catches the goliath in the chest, dragging into the skin. Vex winces, but the goliath seems more okay than expected.

The creature tries to hit him with his tail but Grog dodges it with a shiver-inducing grin. “Come on, devil devil!” He taunts. “Is that all you can do?”

Vex’s eyes cross with the creature’s and she takes the opportunity to Hunter’s Mark it. She reaches for another arrow, but her fingers rip against her quiver, shaking lightly now that she’s realized what they were facing. She curses. Pike sends her a slightly worried look.

Grog retaliates against the clawing he’s just received. The axe cleaves a giant gash into the shoulder of the fiend. The goliath immediately reiterates, hacking at the shoulder. The arm of the fiend is now hanging by tendons. It seems to be in incredible pain.

Reaching up with its good arm, the creature screams, warmth radiating from it. Flames erupt from the hand of the creature. Both tries miss the massive target of Grog. The creature seems confused. That’s what pain like the one being inflicted to it does.

Vex notches in another arrow. It grazes the creature but is deflected by its spikes. She groans in annoyance. None of this is working. Why is she so useless right now?

Grog’s axe finally cuts off the creature’s arm, but it doesn’t seem to slow it down that much. Another ray of blinding light hits the devil, however. Pike is breathing hard, but her spells are finding purchase and Vex is incredibly thankful for that, even if they do not do a lot of damage.

The goliath keeps taking a great amount of injury from the furious and in pain devil. Fire burns onto the grey skin, scorching it and a sickening smell permeates the air around them. Vex wants this to end, but she knows it won’t be that easy.

Vex’s next arrow finds purchase right as the great axe slashes through the devil’s chest. A handaxe flies by Vex and hits it square in the thigh. The wounded creature turns around, tail whipping at Grog, before pouncing in with one undamaged arm, missing the goliath entirely with the last two.

They keep hammering at the creature, arrows and great axe wounds and additional mace wounds from a determined Pike hacking at its defenses and crushing its bones. Vex is sweating, she’s a little unfocused, and the screams of the goliath’s rage resounds in her head.

When it finally falls down, it’s one of Vex’s arrows that lodges itself in its eyeball, deeply. It gurgles as it falls, twitching for a few seconds until it stops moving entirely. Vex exhales. She feels like the combat has lasted hours when it’s probably only been minutes.

Pike rushes to her friend and heals him immediately, the burn and other wounds healing and disappearing from the grey flesh as Vex watches. A little unsteady, she finds somewhere to sit and to search.

She waits for a while, searches for something she could have missed, but all fiendish presence is gone from the perimeter of her searching abilities. Relief floods through her system and she finally smiles. It was hard, but they did it. They killed the fiend. The Alabaster Sierras are safer now than they were before.

Vex’s entire body unravels suddenly, her shoulder slumping. They’re fine. She’s fine. They’re all alive and safe and the fiend is gone and she didn’t die killing it. She looks at Pike and Grog. They both look messy and fight-tousled. Vex imagines she looks like that too.

“Thank you,” she says. She means it.

Grog smiles at her, a warm smile. He’s nice. Big and scary, but nice. “It was really fun.” He probably means it too.

Pike nods. “It was!”

Vex is a little more surprised at that, but she can’t help the grin that stretches over her mouth. They start walking again. Vex invites them for tea or coffee. They both ask for alcohol and she chuckles.

They settle around Vex’s table. The cabin feels a little cramped with the two of them. Vex manages to find three containers for the strong old whiskey that Regae left behind. They cheer and drink.

“I’m from Westrunn. The Everlight brought me here,” Pike says when Vex asks if she’s from Whitestone.

“I’m from Westrunn too,” Grog smiles. “And I follow her.” There is unbridled affection in the way he looks over at Pike.

“My brother’s currently in Westrunn,” she points out. “Spending some time with his boyfriend.”

Pike nods. “That’s sweet! I hope he enjoys the city. It’s a little quiet, but it’s a nice place.”

Vex doesn’t say that she doesn’t expect Vax to do a lot of sight-seeing while with Gilmore. The three of them share some food, the rations they’d taken for a possible camping in the mountains, had the fiend evaded them for much longer.

The camaraderie wraps around her like a warm blanket and she finds herself laughing more than she has in years. When she herself starts to feel a light buzz from the alcohol she’s been very careful not to drink too much of, she shifts and prepares herself to start asking questions.

“Have you spent a lot of time here in Whitestone?” She asks after a moment.

“It’s our first time here, actually,” Pike smiles. “We usually stay in Westrunn, or travel south, not north. There is not much for us here.”

Vex raises an eyebrow. “What changed?”

Pike shrugs. “As I said, the Everlight. I’m a cleric, and when my deity calls, I always answer.”

Vex tries to figure out if that’s true, if Pike always answers to Sarenrae but the gnome is hard to read, her blue eyes staring right back into Vex’s as she speaks. There is a steadiness about her though. Something Vex usually senses in the druids and clerics and acolytes of this world, and also in some arcanists, who have faith in their studies the way others have faith in their gods.

Vex wonders how she feels to people. Is she steady with faith? Or is she chaotic and unstable? She wishes, in this moment, that she could see herself through someone else’s eyes. She wants to know what she is to others, so badly.

“What did the Everlight tell you to do here?” She continues.

Pike’s eyes grow a little sharper for a moment, before she smiles again. “There is something for me to heal here. A soul yearning desperately for redemption. My goddess is the patron of healing and redemption, of second chances. This is what I am here for.”

Vex swallows. “Would that be related to the De Rolo Massacre?”

“Maybe,” the gnome shrugs. “Or maybe not. If we had all the details of what exactly our deities want us to do, all these divine quests wouldn’t be quite the challenges they are supposed to be.”

That’s true, she guesses. Vex is definitely not faithful enough for this. She smiles anyway, leaning back against her chair.

The gnome keeps talking. “Maybe the fiend we killed was that soul. Maybe someone we’ve crossed paths with in the street. Maybe it’s you.”

Vex freezes.

“Many people would ask questions about someone like you deciding to live alone this way, in a cabin in the forest,” Pike shrugs. “It’s none of my business, of course. And I will never fault anyone for unconventional life choices.” She hums. “But you ask many questions.”

Kind, warm, but very perceptive. Vex holds up her hands. “You got me,” she huffs. “Just trying to get answers about what’s going on in this city. No one will answer my questions.” She’s tired of it now. So fucking tired. “It was incredibly difficult to find people to help me with this fiend business because no one will talk to me about anything.”

Pike reaches for her hand. “You are a stranger to these people, Vex’ahlia. Give them time to get to know you. For all they know, you have bad intentions. I come with the symbol of my goddess, and that opens some doors to me, and to Grog.” The goliath nods at the mention of his name. “You don’t have that. Unless you’re some deity’s chosen or champion… But you don’t seem like it.”

Vex almost gets offended by that. But the gnome is right. Vex came into town with suspicious eyes. That’s not something people can trust.

“I’m sorry,” Vex sighs. “For the questions I’ve asked. You didn’t have to answer them.”

Pike shrugs. “I didn’t really mind. I’m here because I need to be. And Grog’s with me because he always is, and always will be.” She smiles at that. “You’re here for a reason too.”

Vex huffs. “Right,” she shakes her head. “Did Sarenrae tell you that?” She asks sarcastically.

“You’re not a believer,” Pike chuckles. “It kinda comes off of you like waves. That you don’t believe in anything.”

Vex lost her reason to believe when a dragon burnt her home village to the ground, taking her mother with it. Every snide remark from Syngornian elves, every time she had to fight for Saundor to do anything for her, those were all nails in the coffin of her faith, in gods or in people.

“I think… I think you should start the way back to Whitestone. The road is long, and I don’t want you to get caught by the night. There are creatures.”

Grog huffs. “We can take them on. You fought by our side, you have seen our power.”

Vex doesn’t reply. Pike gets the memo. She gently pushes Grog into getting up. Vex walks them to the door and to the trail and bids them goodbye.

She sits back down at the table. The cabin is small but it feels huge now that she’s alone. Sounds seem to reverberate now that it’s only her breathing, only her body. She wants to run off and tells those two kind people to come back, to stay, to not leave her alone like this. She doesn’t though. She exhales and she starts preparing for more work, and for a good night of sleep.

Did she get any answer? No she didn’t. But at least she’s killed a fiend. The Alabaster Sierras are a bit safer than they were when she arrived.

[bokunoheroanalysisforthefuture]

Alright, and I am back with another update! But first, some stuff a friend noticed in the first few pages and mentioned to me that I didn’t take in when I went over them on my own the first time:

The park they’re in as kids is pretty close to the apartment complex Izuku and his mom live in! Considering that said apartment complex is right there in the background. Which probably isn’t a huge thing, but a neat thing to note.

The age these kids manifest their quirks at seems to be more preteen / teenage years, though I don’t know whether that’s just because it is later activation or because there were (subtle) quirks before that, with the glowing baby just being the one that had people sit up and realize something was actually going on.

Endeavor ad! And it has the time of that event that day, too - 8:14 AM! I wonder what he’s advertising… or perhaps it’s a news report? An interview of some kind? It might just be a ‘breaking news, we got Endeavor on our channel’ sort of thing. The only part that I can read is the first three katakana for the biggest text, which is ‘E-n-de’ and matches the wiki’s katakana for ‘Endeavor’. If anyone can get a good enough look at the smaller text in order to tell me what the rest says, I would appreciate it!

Just a few things, but obviously I need to up my observation game if I want to catch all this stuff!

[No. 1 - Midoriya Izuku: Origin]

So now we’re at Aldera / Orudera Junior High, with Izuku’s class being in their last year before high school. Since Japan’s schools start on the second week of April, we know this has to be that first week of school, because Katsuki’s still 14 and his birthday is April 20th, which would almost always be the third week of April / second week of school. 

What is that writing stance. You are going to have an old man’s back by the time you graduate high school. I mean, I wouldn’t know anything about that personally, cough cough…

Anyways! We get a look at Izuku’s class and their quirks, and what a collection. Also, with an attitude like that, no wonder this school is seen as bad, like, what the fuck dude. Not exactly a competent homeroom teacher, are you?

The ones that I can see, from leftmost row to rightmost row, are [1] floating hair, stretchy fingers, dark matter, [2] smokey arms, spike fists, stretchy eyes, frog throat, some sort of flash/illumination quirk, [3] rocky body, ???, stretchy neck, flamethrower arms, extra arms, [4] sharp hair, big chompers, wedge face, [quirkless], mouth face (seen in the next panel and holy FUCK new sleep paralysis demon), [5] horns, telekinesis, [explosion], buff bod, ???, [6] wind control, ???

WHY.

But yeah, this also establishes the first rule of ‘don’t use quirks in school’ thing that… also gets promptly ignored the several other times we see stuff set in this school. Which, what a shock, people sort of sliding around inconvenient rules.

Anyways, Katsuki has proven that he hasn’t changed since those first few childhood panels way back (checks) ten pages ago. And Izuku is being… very shy and trying to avoid drawing attention. But no shaking, particularly, just… wallflower mode, more like.

But yeah, Katsuki is not exactly on great terms with the rest of the class, who are rightfully pissed off at him treating them rudely and calling them extras. Though honestly, I’m surprised that they’re surprised he’s aiming for UA, it’s not like he wouldn’t have been obvious about that for, like, years at this point. You’d think they’d all roll their eyes and be like ‘yeah yeah we’ve heard this spiel before’ or something. IDK.

Oh man, and Izuku already KNOWS what’s coming, look at how he’s hiding his face!

Katsuki is, of course, Fucking Extra and hops on his desk, and gets right into bragging, where, AGAIN, this should have been stuff this class has known about for ages, why are they so shocked?? And huh, interesting, he’s not only interested in surpassing All Might, but also in being one of the richest people in the world. Wow, I cannot even with him, especially knowing he lives in this house in particular:

Which, it should be clear, is an EXPENSIVE lifestyle when most families live in modest apartments because of space being so valuable in Japan. 

God this is a fantastic image. I wanna frame it on a wall somewhere. Hori managed to convey all the emotions in one face and I admire the man for it. 

With the whole class laughing, there’s a thing I want to note that fandom seems to not pay attention to: they note that Izuku gets good grades! I’ve seen fics that basically have him forced to sabotage his own grades to avoid getting backlash, but like… no, I don’t think that’s actually a thing. 

[Also an aside, we finally see one more class quirk, which seems to be some sort of bulked up arm? It looks a bit like mummy bandages, as far as I can tell.]

Izuku gets into defending himself, saying there’s no precedent, but he IS defending himself against them, so again, he’s not cowering as much as some people seem to think he does based on fics, and clearly he’s still willing to stand up for himself to some degree. 

...then of course, Katsuki blows up Izuku’s desk and sends Izuku sprawling. And is pissed that Izuku apparently thinks he, who is quirkless, can somehow be on the same level as Katsuki. Izuku swears up and down that it’s not about Katsuki, that he just really wants to try, and this somehow pisses Katsuki off even more. 

I want you all to remember this image - save it on your computers, bookmark this post, whatever you need to do. We’ll come back to it in, oh (checks watch) about 284 chapters. Or maybe sooner in a separate post where I can put it under read more and avoid spoiling people more than this does. Because DAMN can I gush on this moment.

Anyways, we have a change of scene, right after noon, with a thief with a sludge transformation and,,,,,,,, legs and pants,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Where the fuck did those pants go, sir. Sir. What the fuck, sir.

Also, we get our first meeting with the OG dad, the sunflower man himself, who blooms into 255 kilos of muscle in one panel. Also, man I forgot about the fucking giraffe neck Hori used to draw him with, holy heck, why are you so l o n g.

L O N G.

...right, anyways, back to the school, which is apparently over for the day. The rest of the class is heading out, and Izuku’s back to his chipper self, even humming a happy note as he grabs his notebook-

Before Katsuki nabs it from his hands. There are a few people who’ve hung back who notice the title and pick fun at izuku, so I guess Izuku actually… doesn’t talk about his desire to be a hero that much in middle school, if the others are all so surprised about it. He apparently doesn’t even make his notebooks obvious to them, since this is the first time any of them seem to be seeing it. Which I mean, it makes sense if the class will tease him for it, but like. Even with Katsuki stealing the book, Izuku’s not super panicked or having a nervous breakdown.

But yeah, Katsuki just blasts the book, but! It’s just the cover singed (and edges) when we know he could have demolished that book entirely. Again, he’s definitely being a bully and a jerk here, but he’s got way more self-control than fandom likes to assume. 

Izuku’s upset because of his damaged notebook, and Katsuki just huffs and throws it out the window while saying he’s gonna be the only kid from Aldera to go to UA. And Izuku, EVEN WHILE STRESSING, thinks of him as vain for thinking that way! That’s not the first thought of someone too terrified to do anything.

Edit: As pointed out to me in [this post], it was Katsuki’s crony who was thinking of him as vain, not Izuku. My bad!

Also note the lack of damage to Izuku’s school uniform. I know I’ve seen fics where there’s a hole made and a burn scar left that Izuku has to tend to, but Katsuki, again, has not directly used his quirk against Izuku. We’ve never seen it, just the smoke and flash used for intimidation. I’m getting more and more confident that Katsuki has never actually used his quirk against a person, which I’m probably gonna get a bit more into during the battle training in a few chapters.

But yeah, the cronies / extras basically call Izuku lame and that he can’t face reality. And then we get this scene:

That’s not the face of someone afraid. That’s Izuku’s determined face.

Izuku is about to stand up to Katsuki again. The way he always has, the way he always will. There has never been a point in the series where Izuku has NOT stood up to Katsuki when he feels it matters, and that’s part of the reason Katsuki is so pissed with him every time he does - because Izuku REFUSES to see his place! Not once!

(Please, for the love of god, respect the Izuku who didn’t need a quirk to stand up to others. Who isn’t ‘broken’ or ‘terrified’ of Katsuki or anything like that. He’s a stubborn kid and we Stan That.)

Izuku, however, is not confident enough in this situation to want to press the issue, so he relents and says nothing when Katsuki prods him to escalate things. And then we immediately get to the ‘you idiot, don’t fucking suicide bait!’ but you can tell it’s been a stressful few moments for him. 

So yeah, the summary of this section is ‘Izuku is not an uwu suffering babey, and Katsuki is way more restrained than people seem to think.’ 

I’m cutting it off here since, again, we got a lot of info and character examination, and honestly this whole chapter is a long ass one (55 pages!!!!) and it’s establishing the entire setting from the ground up. And honestly, I’m just vibing in being Right about how I’ve been viewing the characters at the start of the series… even if i am guilty of sometimes playing with fanon for my own means…

Still, this is fun! Hopefully y’all are having fun too!

[aiweirdness]

Dungeon crawling or lucid dreaming?

I’ve done several experiments with a text-generating neural network called GPT-2. Trained at great expense by OpenAI (to the tune of tens of thousands of dollars worth of computing power), GPT-2 learned to imitate all kinds of text from the internet. I’ve interacted with the basic model, discovering its abilities to generate fan fiction, British snacks, or tea. I’ve also used a tool called gpt-2-simple that Max Woolf developed to make it easy to finetune GPT-2 on more specialized datasets - I’ve tried it on datasets like recipes or crochet. One of my favorite applications of GPT-2 and other text-generating neural nets is Dungeons and Dragons spells, creatures, character names, and character bios.

Recently Max published a tutorial on how to use GPT-2 to make new apps that are more complicated than just printing out large reams of text. To my delight, people have used them to made D&D games. First, there was Nick Walton’s AI Dungeon, in which a finetuned GPT-2 generates a story and three very strange action options at each step.

My latest obsession is GPT-2 Adventure, designed by a cognitive neuroscience student named Nathan, which lets you type in your own actions. And folks, this game is SO WEIRD and SO FUN.

YOU FLOAT IN SPACE, LIKE A BALLOON, AND AS YOU DROP THE CUBE, THE X, IT VANISHES IN A CLOUD OF GREASY BLACK SMOKE

>>

When I first launch the game, this is what I’m greeted with, a simple text prompt reminiscent of nostalgic dungeon crawling games. It sets the scene. It waits for me to describe my next move.

Even getting to this point is like a blast from the past. The game runs in a Google Colab notebook, a format where you’re looking at cells of code, with cryptic comments, vaguely alarming warning messages, and all. It’s not a sleek web app, but feels more akin to playing a game on an old DOS machine, or maybe on a graphing calculator. There are only two clicks to begin playing, but there’s a good two-minute wait while the game loads.

And it’s my turn to type something.

>> look up

It takes several seconds for the game to respond, as if I’m playing it on a very ancient computer. The computer is in fact a state-of-the-art NVIDIA GPU, likely a K80 or a T4. The T4 could eat my laptop for lunch. I’m just playing with a very very large neural net. Finally it answers.

YOU'RE IN LABYRINTH OF TWISTY LITTLE PASSAGES, ALL ALIKE

Almost immediately, the context seems to have changed. I’m not floating at all. I’m in a maze. I guess I’ll walk somewhere.

>> walk north

THE TROLL STEPS OUT FROM BENEATH THE BRIDGE AND BLOCKS YOUR WAY

YOU ARE ON THE SOUTH SIDE OF THE CHASM

A NOD IS GIVEN TO THE INFINITE WONDER THAT IS URBZIG

A SOLID RAINBOW SPANS THE CHASM

And suddenly things are happening. There is a troll. There is a chasm. There is a rainbow. There is… Urbzig? I play it safe.

>> praise urbzig

URBZIG IS THE PATRON SAINT OF ZORK

HE IS THE GODFATHER OF ZORK, THE PLACE TO GET NEWS OF EPIC PROPORTIONS

URBZIG IS A STRONGMAN,遊 ALL

If you’ve played classic dungeon crawling games like Zork, you may recognize some of these names and phrases. Checking Nathan’s original post, I see that the training data is indeed drawn from these games. But because it’s based on GPT-2, the training data also in some sense also includes much of the internet. This gives it a lot of latent flexibility to deal with situations that were never in the classic games.

>> ask Harry Potter to try walking across the rainbow

ASK HARRY POTTER TO TRY WALKING ACROSS THE RAINBOW HE CAN'T THE RAINBOW IS EXTREMELY WIDE ABOVE YOU IS A LARGE DOME UP AROUND ITS NECK IS A STRONGG PORE [UNFORTUNATELY, THE DIRECTION OF TRAVEL IS A LOT MORE INTERESTING THAN YOU THINK ][YOU ARE IN A LARGE ROOM, WITH A PASSAGE TO THE EAST, A PASSAGE TO THE WEST, AND A WALL OF BROKEN ROCK TO THE SOUTH

An interesting effect of its human-written training data is that, like Visual Chatbot, it isn’t prepared for humans that ask questions about objects that aren’t there. If I refer to Harry Potter, then Harry Potter must be present. If I type something about a giraffe, then it assumes the giraffe must be present.

>> ask the giraffe which direction to go next

THE GIRAFFE IS ALREADY OUTFITTED WITH A VISOR WHICH IS CLEARLY DEFINED

Although it’s not clear that this AI actually understands what a giraffe is.

>> look at the giraffes

THE GAZEBO HAS DISAPPEARED

>> put giraffe in backpack

DONE

Navigating this world is like navigating in a dream. My location suddenly changes without warning. I thought I was by a chasm with a rainbow bridge. Now apparently I’m in a building. Dreamlike, it is also really hard to read text.

>> look around

YOU ARE IN A LARGE ROOM, WITH A PASSAGE TO THE SOUTH, A PASSAGE TO THE EAST, AND A WALL OF BROKEN ROCK TO THE NORTH A SIGN POSTED ABOVE THE NORTH WALL READS, "STOP! PAY TROLL!" A SMALL WINDOW CAN BE SEEN IN EITHER WALL

>> read sign

THE SIGN IS VERY SIMPLE

>> yes but read sign

WE NOW HAVE ALL FIFTEEN TREASURES IT IS TIME TO GO BACK INTO THE CAVE FOR THE END GAME

>> that's awesome. but i still want to know what the sign says. read sign.

YOU ARE IN A GAZEBO ROOM WHICH HAS DOORS ONLY TO THE EAST AND SOUTH

Another thing that’s surprisingly difficult to do is check inventory.

>> check inventory

DONE

>> check inventory

THERE IS AN INTERESTING LOOT HERE

>> what is the loot

WHAT IS THE LOOT?

>> check inventory

YOU ARE IN THE BAG CASE

Very occasionally I will succeed in opening a bag. It will usually be weird.

>> open bag

OPENING THE BAG REVEALS A TEA BAG

>> make tea

AY! A LOVELY SURPRISE FOR THE SURPRISE

More so than any other game I’ve played, I’m unsure of the rules here. Some weird things unexpectedly work.

IF YOU DON'T GET KILLED, YOU ARE TOAST

>> Eat the toast.

EAT THE TOAST IT TASTES LIKE A STEAK A STEAK IS PERFECTLY FINE

Other seemingly obvious things don’t work.

THERE IS A PATH TO THE NORTH, A PATH TO THE SOUTH, OR A STEEP PATHWAY CLIMBING SOUTHWEST ALONG THE EDGE OF A CHASM

>> go north

I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT

>> go south

I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT

>> go southwest

YOU WILL BE DESCENDING INTO A VALLEY THERE IS A NARROW BEACH TO THE NORTH AND A PATH LEADING INTO A CANYON TO THE SOUTHEAST YOU ARE ON THE CLIFF OVERLOOKING THE FAR SIDE OF THE ROOM A PATH LEADS SOUTH ALONG THE EDGE OF A CHASM, AND A NARROW PATH LEADING INTO A LOZENGE ROOM

Sometimes I’m wandering endlessly from room to room, from cave to cave, encountering the same chasm in slightly different variations, the same dried-up lake. Other times I’m embroiled in seemingly unescapable fights, usually with trolls. Often reality shifts entirely around me and I end up in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike, or in the hall of the mountain king. Everything seems weirdly familiar - even the room descriptions are echoes of classic dungeon crawling games. It is as if I’m dreaming about playing them again.

My actions also mold reality. I learn quickly to always check for diamonds, and never check for traps. If I find myself in trouble, I can always do something confusing and provoke a context change. Writing “In a large bowl, combine butter and sugars” is usually enough to teleport myself out of whatever situation I’m in. I can always ask a giraffe for advice, although the giraffe usually isn’t very helpful.

Without a particular mission to fulfill, the caves and chasms begin to blend into one another. I give myself missions, and that helps. Once I decide my goal is to put together a picnic (incessant “check for food” commands eventually yielded a sack with a lunch and a clove of garlic, belonging to a horse who agreed to join me on a picnic). Another time I demand a mission and am given some php code; i decide my mission is therefore to build a website, but am astounded when a unicorn steals my laptop. This is not the only time other content intrudes on the game’s fantasy landscape - once the game tries to tell me about finding cash online, and another time I am sadly informed that there is no wi-fi. I encounter dinosaurs and troikas, none of which were in the original training data. Occasionally things get creepy as hell.

>> check for loot

CHECK FOR LOOT HERE CHECK FOR GOLD HERE CHECK FOR TORCH HERE CHECK FOR BONE HERE DO CHEST COMPRESSIONS AGAIN DO CHEST ROTATE DO CRESCENT MOON APPEAR IN THE ROOM'S CENTER

>> do back away slowly

DO BACK AWAY SLOWLY DO NOT OVERDO IT THE CHEST WILL EXPLODE AND YOU WILL DIE OKAY, SO YOU SEE ME

You can play the game too! Just follow the colab notebook link in Nathan’s blog post. Tips: 1) It may be more fun if you set yourself an arbitrary goal to reach. 2) If you find things getting repetitive, try adjusting the temperature in the “Play the game” cell to 0.6 or 1.0.

Subscribers get bonus content: The fulltext of a couple of my adventures (much too long to include here).

You can order my book You Look Like a Thing and I Love You! It’s out November 5 2019.

Amazon - Barnes & Noble - Indiebound - Tattered Cover - Powell’s

[multi--dimensional]

Happy Candlenights, Sirs!

I’ve never posted a fic here, so my apologies if the formatting is weird. 

This is my half of @thecandlenightszone exchange, and my partner is @Kentuckyfriedbooks! I know I’m a little late, and I’ve already asked them for forgiveness.

Critical information: In order to make this idea work with what I know about the show (AKA nothing past The Eleventh Hour), I had to mess with the timeline a little bit and take advantage of the weird passage of time. Essentially, I’m moving the pre-Crystal Kingdom Candlenights party to a different point in time and adding another Candlenights between it and the chaos that happened after Crystal Kingdom. Hopefully that makes sense. 

With that, here’s the story! I’m gonna go read mine. :)

Temperatures were dropping, precipitation was getting more and more frozen, and the skies were getting dark sooner at the same time thousands of lights lit up the night in every town. The halls of the Moon Base were decked, and a particular small room had a little shrub proudly displayed on its only table. Another Candlenights season was kicking up, and Angus was ready for it. He’d saved up from missions, made several trips to the Fantasy Costco, and he had hopefully gotten everyone something they would enjoy more than the books he’d handed out last year.

He’d managed to find a proper strop for Magnus, enchanted to protect the blades that it sharpened so that they’d dull slower and be less likely to break. There was a solid bronze handle attached to it that made wrapping it far harder than it should’ve, and in the end he gave up on neatness and twisted a hunk of paper around it like the end of a hard candy wrapper.

Merle’s was more difficult, but he ultimately decided on a pot full of purple starbuds. During the day, the blooms were wound into a tight, dark purple cone, but come night, they’d unfurl into a star-shaped flower with a twisted center, and clusters of white speckles on the petals would be visible. Its broad leaves were also a great downer when dried correctly; Angus’ grandfather used to smoke them occasionally, and it surprised him that he’d been allowed to buy them at all. He wasn’t certain, but thought Merle would appreciate that feature. He’d only wrapped the pot, not trusting himself or Merle to not kill the plants if he put them in a box.

Their presents were sitting in a corner, waiting to be handed out, and he was currently trying to wrap Taako’s. He’d been at an utter loss for his present. He wanted to get him something he’d really like, but realized with surprise that he didn’t know what that might be. Magnus was an open book and loved to talk about woodworking, and Merle was a Panite, so a woodworking tool and a plant seemed like obvious choices. Taako, though not exactly quiet, didn’t actually talk about himself that much. Angus knew he loved to cook, but he also knew that cooking was a sore spot for him, so an enchanted utensil may not be a good idea. He liked magic, but already had a powerful magic focus. After perusing the shelves of Fantasy Costco for a few hours (across the course of a few days, as Garfield’s staring quickly unnerved him), he decided to get him an Alchemist’s Ring. He was pretty sure Taako liked jewelry, and if he, Merle, or Magnus ever needed to resort to a health potion on the field, this would make it stronger. It even seemed to fit with his style, which was very lucky. At the last second, he grabbed a basic acrylics set and a mug that said “World’s Best Wizard.” He proceeded to paint some pink flowers around the text and wedge the word “Flip” before “Wizard”. (Taako had reluctantly given a demonstration of his acrobatic skills when Angus had asked why his friends occasionally called him that, and he was still amazed.) Now, Angus was definitely a better detective than an artist, but after a few restarts and a lot of touch ups, he was very proud of his handiwork. It was just too bad he couldn’t give the flowers a scent. Maybe he’d try a prestidigitation on it when he gave it to Taako.

He carefully dropped the ring box into the mug, set it into a box, tucked his spare towel around it, and wrapped it the best he could. Mission accomplished. Giddy, he placed the gifts under the shrub and turned on the mostly-working fairy lights. He knew the boys held their own traditions around the same time, almost two weeks away, so he’d keep them there until then. He turned to the handful of mismatched candles on his dresser, closed his eyes, and attempted to cast prestidigitation. They flickered to life on his second try, and he let out a whoop.

It really felt like Candlenights in his little room. All he needed was a macaron; it had only been one year, but he already viewed them as a Candlenights tradition he wanted to continue.

He knew cooking was a testy subject for Taako, but couldn’t help but hope that he’d get another one for Candlenights this year.

...

Wednesday morning dawned bright and clear— literally dawned. The sun was barely over the horizon and Angus McDonald, Boy Detective and notorious Early Bird, was already up and at ‘em, hanging out in a corner he’d claimed in a lounge dome near his dorm. It was magic day once again. Six months of weekly magic lessons had only grown his enthusiasm, and he was pouring over the pages that he’d dedicated to magic notes in the back of his beat up little notebook.

He looked up at the quiet whoosh of the door opening, and the thumping of snow-laden boots on the entry rug.

“Hello, Madam Director!” He chirped.

The Director jumped, gaze quickly swinging around the small room and landing on Angus. She relaxed and exhaled an embarrassed sound somewhere between a sigh and a chuckle.

Angus’ eyes had widened to the size of saucers. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry, Madam! I didn’t mean to scare you!”

“It’s alright, Angus,” she started, regaining her composure and gliding to his little corner. “I wasn’t paying attention, I suppose.” She started removing her gloves and took a seat on the couch across from him and smiled gently. “What are you doing up this early?”

“Oh, I’m always up this early! Early bird gets the worm, my grandpa always said! Which was strange, since he sometimes got annoyed at how early I was up. What about you, Madam?”

“I woke up and couldn’t get back to sleep, so I took a walk.” As she put her gloves in her shoulder bag, her hand nudged something and she peeled up. “You know what, Angus? I know it’s still a little early in the season, but I’ve got something for you.”

The Director pulled something out of her bag, and Agus breathed a quiet “Whoa.”

It was a small parcel, wrapped in shiny, blue paper, scattered with delicate silver stars and elaborately tied with a sleek, grey bow. It was completely free of wrinkles, almost seamless, and he couldn’t tell what was holding it all together. If he didn’t know better, he’d even say it glowed just the tiniest bit. Angus had to wonder if there was a spell for gift wrapping, or if the Director had just been hiding insane proficiencies in paper folding and knot tying. He was reluctant to even touch the gleaming paper, especially since he was pretty sure he knew what it was. 

The package was the size and shape of a book, and it was well known among the base that Caleb Cleveland: Kid Cop was his favorite series. What was less well known was that he already owned all the books. A copy or two would be an easy gift for him if someone wasn’t sure what else to get him. He had half a mind to thank the Director, bring the present back to his dorm, and display it as it was.

She had the slightest of self-satisfied smirks when he looked back up. She pushed it towards him. “Go on, open it.” She must’ve seen his hesitation, because she chuckled. “Don’t worry about the paper, I can wrap it back up afterwards if you’d like.”

He nodded and took the gift. It felt heavier than he expected it to be, more sturdy than his usual paperbacks. Maybe an exclusive cover? He worked off the bow and removed the paper, still careful to keep it from tearing.

Inside was a box, which he also opened and slid the contents into his free hand. It was a book, as he expected, but it wasn’t Kid Cop. It was a journal. The cover was made of beautifully tanned leather, with a pen holster on the spine and a cover flap that was fastened closed with a large, walnut wood button. There was an engraved jellyfish on the right side, dyed purple, blue, and green. He ran his fingers over the engraving, and the jellyfish seemed to float under his touch. Soft, tiny lights in its umbrella blinked once, twice, and went dark again.

The Director reached in front of him and pointed at the button. In silent awe, he unfastened it and pulled open the flap. On the inside, hand-engraved, were the words “Detective’s Notes.”

“I noticed your old one was getting a bit ratty,” she said. “The button is charmed. It stores two spells. If you tap it two times, it’ll cast ‘reduce’ on the notebook so you can put it in your pocket. Tapping three times will cast ‘enlarge,’ and it’ll return to normal.”

“I-- Thank you, Madam Director!” Angus’ eyes were starting to well up, but he grinned ear-to-ear. “I love it! I haven’t gotten a new notebook in... I think 2 years? Maybe? This is fantastic, I actually have clean pages! I won’t need to keep scribbling in margins, and putting Fischer on the cover, did you do that yourself? Thank you so much, it’s so cool! What spell was that? Oh, that pen holster is gonna be so great--”

The Director smiled softly as he rambled on, but as she watched, her face changed. She slid off the couch and knelt down to Angus’ height. Her smile had disappeared, the corners of her mouth turned down in concern as she looked him in the eye. “Angus, I’m going to ask you something, and I need you to be honest with me.” 

Startled by the sudden change in mood,  he settled down and nodded. 

“You are happy here, right?”

“Of course, Madam Director!” She didn’t look convinced, so he continued, “I’ve got my own room, I live on an awesome floating base, and I’m able to use my detective skills to help people. Almost everyone here is super nice, and I’m getting to learn magic!”

The smile returned, and tension drained from her shoulders that Angus hadn’t fully realized was there. She reached out and ruffled his curls. “Good, I’m really happy to hear that. I just want you to know that no one’s forcing you to stay here. You’re extraordinarily bright, Angus, but I fear that I may have dragged you into a situation you don’t want to be in.  We all love your company, and you’re a great help, truly. But if you ever want to leave, just say the word. Or even if you want to stay on the base, but keep out of missions. Just. Let me know if you’re unhappy.”

This was clearly something that had been weighing on her for a while. Angus nodded solemnly. “I will, Madam Director. I promise.”

“Thank you.” She tentatively opened her arms, and Angus stepped forward and hugged her, notebook still clutched in one hand.

“Happy Candlenights.”

Her eyes crinkled into a true smile. “Happy Candlenights, Angus.”

When the hug ended, the Director looked at him with a hint of slyness in her gaze.

“You said ‘almost everyone.’ I feel like you might be referring to Taako, Magnus, and Merle. Just a little secret, Angus: Taako’s teasing isn’t meant to be hurtful. He considers it friendly ribbing of an equal. You mean quite a lot to him. Merle and Magnus, too.”

Angus beamed. “That’s what I thought! At least, I was pretty sure, but it’s...”

“Hard to tell with those boys, yeah.”

They both smiled.

“Oh, hey! Can you-” Angus moved to grab the box, planning on asking the Director to rewrap it, but when he turned around, it was already done. He looked back at the Director, who was clearly trying not to grin.

“Can you please teach me that?”

“You know what, Angus? Talk to me next Candlenights, and I’ll give you some tips.”

...

Magic lessons went by far quicker than Angus liked, as per always, but they went well. Taako commended him on his Mage Hand, the basics of which he nailed a while ago, but the aesthetic? Not so much. He had finally gotten a fully-formed, not nightmarish hand today. They had started working on the different facets of prestidigitation too, which was coming along nicely.

Now they were walking across the main campus of the base. Angus wasn’t quite sure where, but he hadn’t been shooed off yet, so he stuck around. He’d noticed that Taako was more bundled up than he normally liked, with a shorter hat, and that he’d stopped to pull Angus’ beanie over his ears and make sure he had gloves on before they went outside. While it did make him grin, he didn’t think about it much. They were thousands of feet in the air in the middle of winter. It was cold out. 

What he hadn’t quite yet discounted was the way Taako kept looking around once they stepped outside of the mess hall. He couldn’t tell if he was nervous or expectant, but he was... something, and it was putting him on edge. Taako only said that “Everything’s good, Ango D’jango” when he asked if something was wrong, so he was trying to put it out of his mind.

To help ignore how distracted Taako was acting, Angus started rambling about any and everything, from the lesson to how pretty the campus looked covered in snow, and that was when a snowball landed two feet in front of him. He heard the vinyl squeak of winter material as Taako quickly hopped to the right, and a quiet thump as a second snowball hit his arm in spite of his best efforts.

Behind a mound of snow not twenty feet away came a voice. “Merle, you have the worst aim.”

And from a tree ten feet to their right came: “Hey, sorry we aren’t all gifted with decent athletics!”

A red pom-pommed hat atop a familiar bearded face popped up from the mound, and Magnus grinned as he threw another snowball. Angus was bracing for impact when he was swept off the ground; Taako had picked him up and tucked him under his arm as he ran for shelter. Dodging hits all the way, he crouched behind a half wall that normally framed a seating area and set Angus down next to him. He was smirking, and a competitive gleam lit up his eyes.

“Start making snowballs,” he ordered, already starting on his own pile. Angus started to do so, but after spending fifteen seconds on one, Taako interrupted. “Don’t go for shape, just get it packed. Have you never made a snowball before?”

Angus shook his head. “Not in the middle of a fight!”

“...Oh. Well, here, just— grab a double handful of snow, and—“ he quickly packed it into a lopsided ball, and Angus mimicked him. “Yes, perfect! Keep doing that!”

In no time, they had a pile of ammo the height of Angus sitting criss-cross. The battlefield was quiet. After a few moments, footsteps crunched across the snow towards them, and Angus knew why they hadn’t returned fire: Taako was luring them closer.

Indeed, Taako was peering through a crack in the wall, grinning an evil grin. Angus found another hole, and sure enough, Magnus was out in the open halfway between their wall and his mount, trying to be sneaky.

“Hey, bubula,” Taako whispered, “Wanna see a trick?”

Angus nodded vigorously.

“Alright, cast Mage Hand, but keep it low.” After a second, two Mage Hands appeared near the snow. Taako put a snowball in each, and his Mage Hand wrapped around it. Ango had his do the same. “Load it up, wind back,” the Hands drew back, and Taako peeked his head just barely above the wall. Angus followed.

Magnus made eye contact with them and froze, then paled when Taako yelled, “And fUCKING CHUCK IT!”

His Mage Hand launched the snowball directly into Magnus’ chest, and he stumbled back. Angus’ came damn close. From then on, it was all-out war. Magnus and Merle were worthy opponents, but Taako and Angus fiercely defended their base, their Mage Hands giving them twice the throwing capacity. Angus even got a few hits in, and Taako yelled encouragement each time. 

The battle ended an hour later, when Merle used Shield of Faith on Magnus, allowing him to barrel through the onslaught and dump a Heroic Memories Shieldful of snow on both of them. Angus was laughing too hard to continue at that point, and while he didn’t want to head inside, he had to admit to himself that he was getting cold. Taako seemed to agree and started complaining about how elves aren’t meant for this weather, he was going to catch his death out here, etc. etc. Magnus and Merle gave each other a knowing look at that, though Angus wasn’t sure why.

Davenport had a platter of hot chocolate ready for them when they came in, serving it with his usual cheerful “Davenport!” Angus grabbed a mug and thanked him profusely, clinking mugs with Taako.

Time to cross “snowball fight” off his bucket list.

...

Another week and a half passed relatively quietly. There were no missions, no big disasters (unless an exploding snow duck counted-- so he didn’t have the cleaning part of prestidigitation down yet). Just the usual, wonderful mess of mashed together traditions that came with the season.

Angus had spent most of the day in the library, and bolted back to his dorm when he noticed the sun going down. It always got frigid on the base when it was dark, and he wasn’t prepared for the cold because hadn’t planned to stay so long. He’d just gotten sucked into an older Caleb Cleveland book that he’d read probably a hundred times now. Those older books were pure gold. It was just a shame that Grant Andrews had died. His son had tried to take over, but he just didn’t have the same style. 

Not to mention aging Caleb up to a teen was probably the worst decision ever.

Angus made it back minutes after sunset, and was still stomping his feet to get some feeling back to them when he opened his door. His alarm bells immediately went off. Something felt different. He scanned the room from the doorway, investigating each corner, but nothing looked like it had been moved. Nothing was missing. He took a tentative step inside and shivered. It wasn’t as cold as it was outside, but it was definitely a few degrees cooler than the hall. As small a room as it was, it was normally warmer than the hall.

Wait.

He glanced at his Candlenights shrub. The fairy lights were off. He could’ve sworn he left them on; he almost never turned them off during the holidays. Still glancing around, he crept towards the shrub and flicked them on.

There was a fourth gift under the shrub. He’d missed it in the gloom, and it was no wonder why: in contrast to the rest, this one was covered with black fabric, and a sleek black feather was tucked into a fold at the top. It was half off of the table, like whoever put it there was in a rush or afraid of being caught.

Someone had been in his room. He had no clue what might be under those wrappings. He should go get someone. Taako, or the Director, or one of the guards.

But no one but the Bureau members could even get to the Moon Base. None of them would try to hurt him... Right?

Despite his better judgement, Angus found his hand drifting towards it. He tugged part of the fabric away to reveal a cover with a very familiar design, but an unfamiliar title. The top was bordered with golden yellow roses whose petals seemed to be made of gemstones. Below them was a large police badge, with a wooden wand crossed behind it. Inside the badge was written:

Caleb Cleveland and the Secret of the Amber Rose

That was strange. Angus didn’t know of a Caleb Cleveland book with that title, and even stranger was that the badge and wand was the cover style used for the older books. They didn’t use that style anymore. His first thought was that a new book had somehow come out without him knowing, and they’d reverted back to the old covers. Maybe they’d even gone back to the old format, with Kid Cop! He started to pull away the rest of the rest of the fabric, and his eyes drifted to the bottom of the cover.

By Grant Andrews

That... couldn’t be right. Grant Andrews died years ago. It was far too official looking to be an old draft; people had already unearthed some of Andrew’s drafts, and he didn’t bind them. Was it a forgery? Did someone try to publish something in his name? Could it be a super obscure early series book?

Okay... when was this published?

He flipped to the copyright page and skimmed. It was published... This year?

Alright... It had to be a forgery, right? A fanwork? If it was an official fanwork, it’d be published by Blueglades. He kept scanning, and... nope, definitely not. Silver Sea Publishing. He’d never heard of that company.

Angus’ eyes kept drifting to the summary in the jacket. It looked... really good. Really true to the series. He glanced at the copyright page, then back to the jacket. As much as he wanted to solve the mystery of where this book came from, the mystery printed on its pages called to him more. He climbed into bed, lit the bedside candles with prestidigitation and a quick, proud smile, opened the book, and dug in.

...

As dedicated a reader as Angus was, he was still, almost invariably, the “early to bed, early to rise” type. He woke up just before dawn the next morning, the Secret of the Amber Rose fallen half-open on the bed in front of him. He sat up and rubbed his eyes, stopping dead when he realized his glasses weren’t on his face. He looked around and found them on his bedside table. Oddly, the candles were out-- not burned down, just out. Eyebrows furrowed, he reached for his glasses, put them on, and scanned the room for the second time in twelve hours.

Once again, he found his shrub tampered with. The three presents he had placed underneath were gone, replaced with three different ones. Further investigation proved them to be from Taako, Merle, and Magnus. He laughed; they must’ve broken in to leave their presents, and couldn’t resist when they saw some with their names. Very on-brand. He grabbed the presents, sat down in front of the shrub table, and set to opening them.

He tore open Magnus’ first, and immediately wondered if he and the Director had worked together. It was a wooden pen, and looked to be made of the same walnut wood as the button on his notebook. There was a built-in grip near the nib, and a small carving of a wizard’s hat at the end, which had the word “Ango” delicately carved around the brim. It was beautiful, and he put it right into the pen holder so he wouldn’t lose it.

Next, he grabbed Merle’s. It was a Trick Tract, and he almost sighed and put it aside, but decided to skim through it. A few pages in, he started to actually read it. Merle had put some thought into this one; it was about a boy detective investigating a supernatural occurrence on All Hallow’s Eve. In place of the normal message at the end was a short, handwritten message that simply said, “Happy Candlenights, Fancy Lad.” It was no masterpiece, but it was... good. Angus reread the final page a few times, grinning, before he finally closed the tract.

Last but not least, Taako’s. Something shifted around in the box as he lifted it, so he slowed his movements and put it down gently. He peeled back the wrapping and found a note on top of the box, written with a flourish that made it almost illegible, “IOU, magical difficulties. Happy Candlenights, Mr. Wizard.”

Well, that was cryptic, but he continued on and opened the box. His face lit up enough to power the Base.

It was a box of assorted macarons. It looked like Taako felt the same as him about making them a tradition.

As the sun rose and cast shifting hues of light through his small window, Angus gathered his presents and moved them onto his bedside table. He cuddled back into his blankets, picking up his book and choosing a cookie to nibble on.

He couldn’t have asked for a better Candlenights.

-------

-A strop is a piece of leather, usually nailed to a piece of wood, used to sharpen straight blades. 

-I basically blended night sky petunias and the first and middle stages of moonflowers to get purple starbuds. They’re both really pretty, and I got the side effects simply from someone describing the scent of moonflowers as “intoxicating.”

-I pulled the Caleb Cleveland reference full circle, lol. The idea that the series went downhill ‘cause the original author died is my personal headcanon, but I love it, especially because it means I got to do this. Krav is definitely bending rules here, but he did it for his bf and his boy. Don’t tell the Raven Queen.

Happy Candlenights, everyone! @Kentuckyfriedbooks, I hope you enjoyed!

[things-we-used-tc-share]

Upon pink skies

Based on this post

Warnings: Alcohol mention, smoking mention

Ship: Royality

Plot: As the radio crackles over pink skies, Patton leans against the side of his truck, his phone in one hand and a bottle in the other, sipping with a smile on his face. (Radio presenter!Roman) (Radio presenter!Virgil) 

(part 1/2)

The sky paints itself in pink, the sun low against the dim horizon, of mountains in shadows and trees fried by time. The moon smiles on the opposing side, and Patton sat in the back of his truck, smiles back. A cigarette hangs from his lips as he watches the sky and tunes into his radio, waiting for the late-night radio DJ, one of three in the area, to start his commentary of the night. 

As the radio crackles over pink skies, Patton leans against the side of his truck, his phone in one hand and a bottle in the other, sipping with a smile on his face. He takes the cigarette from his lips and rests it against an ashtray made from an empty beer can. 

When the end of the world came it wasn’t quite as bad as everyone had expected, actually, it probably did the Earth a lot of favors. A hundred years later there are not so many Humans, the Earth is starting to flower again and although the radiation levels are high, everyone is coping with their short life span. Factories still make cigarettes and alcohol and there’s a makeshift democracy in place. They don’t do much, the laws are fairly simple “No killing, no stealing, no abuse,” There aren’t enough people to enforce more rules than that, and now most people are travelers since borders became effectively null. 3/4 of the Earth’s population died, and now the world is trying to build itself slowly but surely.

The static pauses and then there’s that voice, energetic despite the time of day and full of happiness, the sort of voice that makes the most out of very little. “Good evening ladies, lords and those of us who know better, Roman here for your evening tunes, but first the weather,” There’s a comedic pause “Sky is pink, and it’s not raining, probably going to be a nice day tomorrow,” Patton grins to himself and fiddles with the dial, turning the volume up as he rests the bottle down and picks up his cigarette again. “How is everyone doing today? For any requests please call...” There’s not much need, Patton has the number saved to his phone, it’s one of two numbers that are saved to his phone, the other being his brother, Logan’s. 

There’s a pause and then music starts to play, old music before the Earth had been turned to dust for an extended period of time, but music nonetheless. Patton grabs his phone, dialing the number as he blows smoke from his lips. “If it isn’t my favorite caller,” Came a teasing tone over the speaker of his battered old phone “Let me guess,” As always “Elvis Presley’s ‘Can’t help falling in love?’” As always. 

“You know it,” Patton grins, leaning back against the edge of the truck bed. “Would I dream of requesting anything else?” Roman’s laugh is soft and musical and makes his heart feel like it’s floating in his chest. 

“One of these days you’ll ask for something else my dear,” He can hear the smile in his voice as Patton ducks his head, biting his lip as he steadies his breathing. “I suppose today is not one of these days,” There’s a pause “You always call at the same time every day, do you have nothing better to do? I don’t mean that in a rude way of course,”

“Not at all,” Patton says softly “Helps me fall asleep, listening to your radio,” 

“You should come and visit,” There’s a long pause that follows this “If you’ve nowhere to be, then you wouldn’t have to call, you could just request, and something tells me you’re on the road a lot,” That’s an understatement at best. The sun dips below the horizon, there are stars flickering in the clear skies. Patton can’t quite breathe. Could he? Could he meet him? 

“You have my number, text me the co-ordinates, I’ll put them in my map,” He can almost hear Roman’s smile through the radio waves as the previous song finishes and the songs he always requests plays gently through the crackle of the radio. His phone buzzes and he flicks leather cover off of the clunky power port strapped to his wrist like a bracelet. He pulls the connector from it and plugs it into his phone. This allows it to use certain features that phones don’t have built it; maps, radio, things like that. In the old days they called it “internet” but, these days things like that don’t work the same way, they need charging and generating, not as simple as clicking a button. It’s stored in the portable port and then is shared to the phone. “I’ll be there in a day,” Patton mutters over the phone,”

“See you then my friend,” And then the phone disconnects. Patton rests it against the metal truck, picking up his beer and cigarette, but he can’t stop grinning long enough to use either, a muffled shout of joy could be heard for miles, as well as the sound of a radio. 

“Because I can’t help,

falling in love with you,”

--

Patton had been driving for a few hours once he woke up, his hand tapping against the steering wheel with a cigarette between his fingertips, he sings along to the day time radio, from the same station, ran by a man named Virgil who didn’t have Roman’s enthusiasm and stuttered a little as he talked, which Patton found endearing.

“And uh...the weather it’s...warm I guess,” Patton laughs to himself as the man sighs “Alright here’s some music,” Virgil is a lot softer than Roman, he assumes, and most likely roped into this rather than actually wanting to do it. But it makes a fair bit of money; there aren’t many radio presenters anymore and it takes a lot of smarts to figure out how to use pre-end-of-the-world technology, and rebuild it. 

You can’t really miss the building, satellite dishes were everywhere, and the building itself is clunky and sticks out like a sore thumb with the dirt tracks all around it. He cuts the engine and stares up at it. It had definitely been repaired that’s for sure, metal panels had been screwed to the side to repair radiation damage, and those dishes had been through several stages of being made to look better. Patton finishes his cigarette and chucks it out of the window, pushing his goggles up into his messy curls to squint at the surroundings, before stepping outside and locking his truck. 

The doors are huge and it has a little intercom next to it, which he presses and waits for a few minutes “Hello?” Comes a quiet voice which Patton easily identifies as Virgil. “I can hazard a guess who you are,” There’s a small chuckle “Alright come up,” The huge doors slide open and the young man had never felt so small as it opens to a foyer and long, steep stairs. “Sorry the elevator doesn’t work, we’ve been trying to fix it, hope it’s not a problem,” 

“It’s not, thank you Virgil,” Patton replies before entering and starting up the stairs. He makes it halfway before he’s out of breath and has to lean against the metal handrail for a moment, before dragging himself further up. 

The top of the stairs leads to a large room, the door is open and there’s a man sat in the chair, black hair falling into dark brown eyes and over pale skin. He’s wearing a dark sweater with the sleeves rolled up and black pants, with thick leather boots. A bottle of cola is in his hands as he sits up at the sound of footsteps and smiles at the newcomer “You’re the caller right? I woke Roman up but I have no idea how long he’s going to be,” He rests the bottle against the counter, a little dangerously given all the lights, levers and buttons. “He can be five minutes or five hours with him,” He stands and holds out a hand “Virgil,”

“Patton,”

Virgil gestures to the empty chair “Cola? Roman drank all the whiskey so until one of us actually gets out into the city I’m afraid that’s all we have to drink, except water and coffee,”  Patton nods with a shy smile as the host rolls his chair back and opens a small fridge next to his chair, pulling out a cold glass bottle, popping the cap off with a bottle opener. “I hope you two get along because I’ve never seen him actually get flustered over meeting someone before,” The other takes the bottle with a curious look “Not that we meet many people, does anyone anymore?” They share a small chuckle before there’s the sound of footsteps. 

Patton looks up, wanting to speak but he doesn’t know what to say. The man leaning against the door has dark skin and deep brown eyes, his hair scruffy and brown as it’s pulled back into a messy bun, and it suits him so well. The newcomer smiles, standing in battered old boots, leather pants and a shirt that must be three sizes too big, “Hey,” He grins, wide and confident and Jesus Christ, he’s fucking beautiful. 

Patton had expected him to be. But still, seeing him in person has his heart missing a beat. “As cute as this is,” Virgil interjects “I have a radio to run,” there’s a roll of his eyes that has Patton blushing and nodding. 

“O-of course,” Roman gestures for Patton to follow him, he does. “I don’t suppose now is a good time to tell you my name?” He asks, halfway down the corridor. 

“That would be a good start,” His voice seems a little deeper in real life, and it makes Patton shiver just a little. The smile doesn’t seem to waver and it gives Patton butterflies, knowing that the other is smiling because of him. “So, what’s your name?”

“Patton,”

“Cute,” Patton’s sure his heart is going to give out soon. “Sorry it’s a little messy, we don’t have a lot of time to clean up on a good day, but...this is my room,” It’s cute and nice to have a bedroom Patton supposes. Most nights he sleeps in his truck, he’s constantly running jobs in and out of the city and he never really stops doing that. He doesn’t have a house, or a home, although he knows Logan would happily put up his couch for his elder brother. Patton just never really settles anywhere, he always needs to be somewhere. 

The room has a single bed and a desk that looks makeshift but in a cute way, there’s even a carpet! Clothes are folded in the corner and the desk has paper and lead and pens everywhere, screwed up balls of paper lying around. Patton smiles and sits on the bed, before just flopping back “It’s been so long since I’ve even seen a bed,” He sighs, staring at the ceiling. “It’s so comfy,” He sits up again, undoing his boots so he doesn’t get dirt on them. Roman chuckles at him, muttering something about ‘getting changed just to get back in bed,’ He undoes his own shoes and toes them off, before squeezing onto the small bed with the other. Patton inhales sharply as they both lie on their sides, looking at each other. There’s are freckles on Roman’s cheeks, and his eyelashes are so long. 

“You’re pretty,” Roman comments bluntly, Patton blushes. “I feel like I’ve been waiting forever for this,” He whispers “And I hope you feel the same,” The younger nods, he does. The curly-haired man bites his lip by way of invitation, looking away from Roman’s face and then back. “I mean, when I answered the first call I hadn’t quite expected to grow so attached to you, every day at the same time for the past year,” 

“I hadn’t quite expected to grow so attached to calling you,” He’d fallen in love with the static crackle of the other’s voice, lulling him to sleep. But now that he can see him, so close and so perfect in person, he thinks maybe he’d fallen in love with Roman at some point as well. “But I’m glad I did,” Roman’s smile is shy but so full of happiness as he scoots a little closer. Their noses brush together a little, their foreheads rest together and they both breathe feeling each other’s breath brush over their lips. 

“So am I,” Patton tilts his head up and their lips press together. Their heartbeats thud against their chests, the silence is loud around them, but for once neither of them need noise fo this moment. They smile into the kiss, lips moving amongst little bits of laughter as Roman’s hand rests against Patton’s neck, his thumb brushing along the other’s jaw. “Would you like to sleep in a bed tonight?” he asks as they pull away, foreheads resting together, a smaller hand over a larger, their fingers intertwining.

“I’d love nothing more,”

Outside the window, the sun bathed a pink sky in its golden light. The mountains in the distance appeared to be nothing but shadows, as trees looked darker in the setting sun and the moon hung in the opposite distance, smiling down on the world and two men entangled in their own heartbeats, and each other. Somewhere, they smiled back.

--

taglist:

@analogical-mess // @unikornavenger // @mycatshuman // @creativity-killed-thekitten// @theresneverenoughfandoms // @charmingprincey // @heck-im-lost//@k9cat//@stilljittery//@romansleftshoulderpad// @sanderssideslibrary // @max-is-tired //@therealmoshar// @punsterterry // @trashypansexual// //@demigodnamedathena//@sevencrashing// @aphriteblack//@jemthebookworm//@sandersandthesides//@penguinkool//@georganabanana//@ao-koshka// @dangerous-doodle // @river-waterfall // @hell-or-high-waters //@no-sleep-gang-posts//  @wxlcomxtothxjunglx //@marshmallow-the-panda// @flix-net//@omni-hamiltrash // @an-absolute-failure // @mason-does-a-thing //@iceoblivious

ko-fi

[you-andthebottlemen]

57 - Requests: Dating Van in secret + hearing Hourglass for the first time

Based on these my requests:

'Hi!! Can you do one where Van plays Hourglass to you for the first time? I adore your writing 😍

Can you write a fic where you and Van are secretly dating until you accidentally call him "Ryan" in front of the rest of the band? Thank you, love x

************************************************************

Van was in the shower and you could hear him softly singing through the drone caused by water hitting the tiles. You smiled to yourself as you folded his clean laundry and placed it back into his empty suitcase, ready for the next time he would be up and leaving for tour. Having him away for so long on the last one was hard enough, you dreaded to think about the times to come.

“Baaabe!” he called.

You put down the fuzzy, moth bitten black sweater and slipped into the small bathroom across the hall from his bedroom. It smelt of strongly of your sweet strawberry body wash. Van stood under the water, his hair dark and wet hanging around his face. He was washing his body with a loofah and had suds caught in his chest hair.

“Yes?” you smiled sweetly, leaning against the door frame.

He motioned for you to come closer.

You shut the door behind you and when you were close enough, Van leant forward and drew a heart in the steam on the glass. You placed your hand over it and met his eyes.

“I’ve missed you,” you said.

Van drew some kisses beside the heart.

“Come join me.”

How could you say no? You stripped out of your clothes, leaving them discarded on the floor and stepped into the shower with Van. He reached for you and pulled your cold naked body into his wet and warm one. You wrapped your arms around his middle and buried your head into the crook of his neck, letting the water rush over your hair. With a heavy sigh, you shut your eyes; you’d never felt more relaxed. Van’s arms were curled around you and his hands rested on your lower back. You began to kiss lines down his neck and collarbones, over his shoulders then back up along his jaw to his lips.

It was the small moments like this that you adored the most. You could have stayed there forever, basking in the way Van felt against your skin and how time seemed to stop.

The universe had other ideas, though.

“Mate!” Larry yelled through the house, his voice just audible over the sound of the shower.

You and Van stood bolt upright in panic. Larry was meant to be out all day.

“Yeah?” Van called back, still holding you to his chest under the water.

Larry shouted back something muffled then you heard a knock on the door. Your heart lurched, Van pushed you behind him and your arms instinctively went to cover your chest.

“Uhh hold on a second mate,” Van called back, trying to sound normal and not panic stricken as he quickly turned the water off and stepped out of the shower. He grabbed a towel, tossed it to you and you wrapped it around your cold, anxious body.

You and Van were dating in secret. No one knew, especially the boys. To them, you were just another mate, one of the guys. For now though, your relationship with Van was something you kept to yourselves; mostly to save the teasing and embarrassment that would surely ensue once the guys found out. You kind of liked having it as your own little secret though; just not in moments like these.

You heard the door handle turn and froze on the spot.

“Give me a minute!” Van yelled to Larry. The door handle stopped turning and you heard a sigh.

Van poked his head outside the door, keeping it as closed as he could.

“Jeez, what you got company in there or somethin’?” Larry teased.

“What? No. Just want some privacy is all,” Van replied. You bit down on your lip and tried to stay quiet.

“Right…”

Larry told Van whatever it was he so desperately needed to, and you couldn’t help but crack a smile at the sight of Van curled around the door, bare ass sticking out. You breathed a sigh of relief too that Larry hadn’t just walked in; something not uncommon for those two. Neither of them had any boundaries with each other. The fact they’d posted videos of them in the shower together on Instagram before was proof enough of that.

Once you heard Larry tread back down the hallway, Van shut the door then crept back into the shower and wrapped his arms around you again. Both of your faces held a look somewhere between an amused grin and a relieved, yet shocked grimace.

“Close call,” you whispered then kissed him slowly.

Van was shivering slightly so you went to fling the towel away and restart the water.

“Sorry love, I gotta bounce. Band stuff.”

Your face fell into a pout and Van smirked at your neediness. He snatched the towel that was loosely draped around your body. The force of it made you spin around a little bit and Van quickly squeezed your ass cheek that now faced him.

“Ryan!” you whisper shouted, turning back around.

Van just smirked once again and tied the towel around his waist then leant in to kiss your cheek hastily as a goodbye. You knew he hated being called Ryan so what started as simple teasing had become somewhat of a habit now and he didn’t fight you about it anymore either.

“What am I going to do with you…” you sighed and shook your head at his cheekiness.

“Well, later, if Larry lad doesn’t interrupt again, you can do whatever you want with me,” Van replied quietly with a wink but his tone serious.

Trust him to make it dirty. Van disappeared out the door, leaving you standing there cold, alone and kind of turned on.

Once you heard the door close and lock behind Van and Larry, you floated back into Van’s room, threw on one of his t-shirts and settled yourself in his bed. Cuddled up in the warm duvet you breathed in his smell, missing him already even though he’d only just left. With a deep breath out, you gazed around Van’s room and looked at all the bits and pieces that filled it. The lighter and pack of cigarettes on the windowsill, a bookshelf filled with records and other miscellaneous items, a few pairs of boots by the door. His chest of drawers with clothes haphazardly stuffed inside. The bedside table littered with an ashtray, chewing gum, deodorant, various cords and plug adapters and a small leather-bound notebook.

The notebook bit at your curiosity. Van was always scribbling away in it, but he never really shared its contents. You looked away, knowing you shouldn’t invade his privacy. You snuggled down into the pillow and tried to sleep away the hours until Van came home. However, the thought of what lay hidden inside Van’s head tugged at you and left you restless. You were just so infuriatingly curious.

Gazing around the room again, as if worried you’d be seen, you sat up and reached slowly for Van’s notebook. You couldn’t help yourself. As you flipped through the pages you smiled at his scrawly handwriting and little doodles. You didn’t really pause on anything too long, feeling a bit shitty for prying. Though you stopped flicking through the dog eared, scribble covered pages when you found a song that appeared to be called ‘Hourglass’. Your heart melted at the lyrics; all fragments of things you and Van had said to each other throughout the course of your relationship about missing each other or keeping things secret, about being in love and wanting to be together in every way of the word.

“Dreams of you fucking me all the time”…. You rolled your eyes and grinned to yourself. Only Ryan Evan McCann would ever put those words in a song and still manage to make it come off as romantic. The bit about being a soldier’s wife made you smile too; you remembered the night you’d said that to him vividly. You wondered how the song sounded when he sang it, if he’d even worked out that part yet.

Your phone suddenly buzzed, making you jump. You quickly closed the book and put it back. Van probably wouldn’t mind you peeking at his ideas, but you still felt guilty as hell. Speak of the devil; it was Van texting to say he’d be later than anticipated at the studio, but you could drop by if you wanted.

Hanging with the guys these days, given the circumstance, was equally anxiety inducing and exciting. Fuck it, you thought. You pulled on some clothes, making sure they were definitely your own, and headed out the door. As you left Van’s bedroom, you gave the little notebook a final glance.

On your way to the studio, you stopped to pick up a box of donuts for the guys and a milkshake for yourself.

“I come bearing gifts!” you loudly announced as you walked into the small cosy studio, holding the donuts up in all their glory.

“I’ll take that,” Bondy replied, grabbing the box from your hand and tucking into a pink sprinkled treat quicker than you could blink.

The studio consisted of a few rooms. The actual recording booth with the small mixing room or control room or whatever attached, a snug lounge that was now littered with mugs and ashtrays and then another little room for instruments and other miscellaneous gear. You sat beside Bondy on the couch and both Bob and Benji emerged from the gear room. They greeted you with hugs and thank you’s and both took donuts as well before slipping back to whatever they were doing before you arrived.

Van was still in the recording booth, wearing large headphones that pushed back his hair and made his face look small and delicate. He was tracking some harmonies apparently. As you watched him, you wanted nothing more than to drag him out the door and back into the shower where you could be warm and close and kiss every inch of his body. You tried not to gaze at him for too long in fear of the other’s noticing, but you couldn’t stop your eyes from flicking back to him. He’d not seen you yet.

“So uh, what you doing here y/n?” Bondy asked.

“Van texted,” you shrugged, trying to maintain eye contact and not guiltily look away.

Van eventually bounced through the door and you both had to pretend you were only mates. Excruciating yet weirdly somewhat of a turn on; knowing you’d be anything but just mates, later in private. Van was now sat beside you on the couch, your knees touching as he ate the last of the donuts.

“Finished anything?” you asked, always eager to hear new songs.

You glanced over at Van and saw he had some sprinkles stuck to his chin. Instinctively you reached out to wipe them away but Van swatted your hand down quickly and your eyes widened in realisation.

“Uh, sprinkles,” you said awkwardly, looking at him without blinking and pointing at your own chin.

“Cheers,” he replied, wiping his face. “But uh, no not yet, though I reckon soon this one…it’s gonna be perfect for the album.”

Van glanced back at the recording booth as he spoke, referring to the song he’d just been working on. He began to rant about what he’d been doing in the studio when you’d arrived. All hand movements and funny sounds mixed with the odd remarkable big word you’d never expect him to know let alone use in a sentence. Bondy took it as his cue to go outside for a smoke. When Van talked about music, or the band, his eyes just lit up differently. He beamed and it made you feel weak at the knees. You thought back to his lyric book; guilt washed over you again and you looked away.

In that moment, Van caught you unawares and snatched the milkshake out of your hands and began loudly slurping on it.

“Oi! Ryan! Give that back!”

You reached out to grab your drink back and Van just grinned, leant back and continued slurping. You all but climbed into his lap and reached for it but he just held it further and further away the more you stretched and whined. He put a hand on your lower back where your t-shirt had ridden up, to steady you as you leaned over him to reach up and take back the cup. Even when he was being an annoying shit, he was still thoughtful. It killed you in the best way.

“Ryan?” Bondy questioned.

You whipped around and saw Bondy standing in the doorway looking confused. Shit. Van’s hand flew off you.

“Just teasing him,” you replied with a forced laugh. No one called Van ‘Ryan’ except his mother. And now you.

You moved off of Van, letting him have the last of your milkshake. Bondy was watching you both closely with squinted, suspicious eyes.

“Oh, don’t tell me you guys are fucking,” he said with a sigh of disgust.

“What?” Van spluttered, choking on your milkshake. “No way mate,” he added, trying to sound casual.

You stayed quiet.

“No no, I can see right through you two! She called you Ryan and you said nothin’ of it!”

Bondy laughed and came back to sit beside you. You were stunned and didn’t know what to say. As you opened your mouth to spurt out some more bullshit, Bob and Benji walked back into the room.

“Guys. These two are fucking,” Bondy chuckled.

“No way,” Benji said in disbelief. Bob looked bewildered.

“But Van…she’s like….a guy? Like one of us,” Benji added.

You were slightly offended at that. One of the guys sure, but ‘like a guy’?

“I’m super womanly thank you very much!” you snapped and threw Benji a scowl.

“Van would know,” Bondy teased in a suggestive voice and they all burst out laughing except for you and Van.

Your cheeks burned. You knew this would happen.

“Cut it out lads,” Van responded as he placed the empty milkshake cup down on the floor by his feet. His voice was slightly stern now; you could tell he was pissed off.

“Someone’s sensitive,” Benji said quietly and raising his eyebrows, only making Bondy giggle more.

You looked between the three boys, then back at Van whose face was unreadable apart from the eye roll.  

“Er- how do you...know…?” Bob asked softly.

“Y/n called him Ryan.”

“As a joke!” you defended, trying to cover your slip up. “Why is it even a big deal!?”

“Didn’t sound like a joke,” Bondy smirked and you huffed.

“Oh my god they so are,” Benji laughed.

“Y/n and Van sitting in a tree…!” Benji and Bondy began to chant. This was followed by crass roleplays of you and Van flirting; Bondy acting as you with a high-pitched voice and batting his eyelashes and then Benji as ‘Ryan’. It was hilarious but also made your stomach turn and cheeks flush red.

“Fuck’s sake lads can we not do this?!” Van barked, taking you all by surprise. He hardly ever spoke like that.

Everyone went silent and looked at him. Van nudged you with his knee and you gulped. You turned to meet his gaze and you knew what he was about to do.

“We aren’t like, fuckin’, okay? Me and y/n are together, like proper,” Van admitted, his voice a little quiet and less angry than before. He ran his hands through his hair, making it stand up funny at the front. “So get over it lads,” he added with a knowing glance at Bondy.

“Okay….Ryan,” Bondy replied and then burst into another fit of laughter.

Van muttered something under his breath then took you by the hand and led you out into one of the other rooms in the studio. He shut the door behind him then leaned against it, closing his eyes and tipping his head back.

“I’m sorry,” he said, sounding frustrated.

“It’s fine. They were going to have to find out at some point, it’s a miracle we lasted this long in secret,” you sighed. “Anyway, it’s my fault. I shouldn’t have called you Ryan.”

You moved closer to Van and pressed your shoulder against his. He rolled his head to look at you, his fringe falling into his bright blue eyes.

“Secretly, I love it when you do that,” Van admitted quietly, looking down and licking his lips. Your jaw dropped in faux, sarcastic shock.

“Don’t tell anyone or I’ll kill ya’,” he laughed, as he pulled you into him and curled his long arms around you.

Van smiled down at you and you couldn’t help but think of how beautiful he looked. You kissed him slowly, happy to be able to touch him and feel him like this again. You tangled your fingers into his hair, his hands slipped under your shirt and trailed up and down your back.

“That was a mess out there,” you chuckled as you pulled away. Van nodded and pouted accompanied by a soft groan.

“It’ll be okay,” you whispered and rested your forehead against his, your eyes closed.

“I have something to show you,” he whispered back.

Van let you go but led you by the hand over to a chair in the corner. He made you sit and then went to grab his acoustic guitar.

“This is what I was workin’ on when you arrived. It’s probably not gonna be as good as the one on the album but I wanna show you now, not wait.”

You held your breath as Van knelt down on the floor in front of you and began strumming a soft yet clunky and catchy tune. Then you heard it. The lyrics from ‘Hourglass’ that you’d seen in the notebook.

As he sang each line, the moments and memories associated with each flashed through your mind. The lyrics made you want to laugh and cry at the same time. The guitar sounded slightly out of tune but that didn’t matter. God, you loved him. Nothing felt more special than when Van sang to you; now he was singing about you. The song was beautiful, filled with sweet words and high notes. The thought of this being on the album, their first album…you couldn’t fathom it. You felt as if your heart had burst open on the spot and love was pouring out of you.

When the song finished, you slid off the chair and onto your knees in front of Van. You grabbed his face in your hands and kissed him hard, the guitar resting between your bodies.

“So, you like it then?” Van chuckled.

“I love it, Van. And you,” you replied, your voice a little shaky.

You pulled him into you again and held him tight. Van nestled into your neck and you could feel his warm breath on your skin.

“I have to tell you something though…”

“What?” Van mumbled into your hair.

“I peeked at your notebook and saw the lyrics…” you squeaked; eyes shut tight bracing for the fallout.

Van tipped his head back and brushed hair out of your face and behind your ears.

“God, you really do know how to drive me up the wall, don’t ya?” he chuckled.

“You know I love to…” you replied, referring the lyrics with a smug grin on your lips.

“What am I going to do with you, y/n?” Van answered, repeating your words from earlier with a smile and making your heart skip a beat.

[prismarine-parrots]

Tree of Life Pt. 1

Originally posted: 25 Feb. 2019

Ahahahahhaha

This five part-story earned me the title Thanos of Hermitcraft and created the first fanart and meme of any of my content. Send help for us all.

Part 2

Part 3

Part 3.5

Part 4

Part 5 (1)

Part 5 (2)

No one had seen Grian in three weeks.

Normally, it wouldn't be too surprising for people to be quiet for a while. Everyone working on their own projects and maybe not in the right area to see the person in question.

But something was different with this case. The player list said that Grian was online, not AFK, so not outside the server in the community hub or working on a different project on his channel. In this case, SOMEONE would normally at least see him restocking his traveling-cart-that-never-travels, or flying around his base wasting rockets, or at the very least bothering Mumbo Jumbo, his closest neighbor.

Mumbo himself had not been too worried at first. When it had been a couple days since Grian has visited he had sent a letter though their mail system to make sure that 1. The mail system might actually be used and 2. Make sure Grian was alright. Not twenty minutes later Grian had responded that he was fine, just busy at his base.

The next red flag was when Zedaph realized that the only reason his Quartz, Warts, and Shorts shop was making sales was because Grian's cheaper traveling cart next door hadn't been restocked in weeks. While at first he was a little miffed at this fact, this started to get him worried. Grian was normally fairly good about restocking his cart, sometimes with his own supplies instead of getting extra, even if not shown on camera he still made sales. With the mining desert and gravel pit nearly out of both materials, people had started regularly going to Grian's shop, hoping for more of those grindy blocks in which he specialized.

When Iskall had private messaged Grian asking if he wanted to help prank DocM for the heck of it, Grian had declined, saying that he had been grinding blaze powder in the Nether. This has confused Iskall. Why did Grian need blaze powder? The only thing it was good for was eyes of Ender and potions. They had already beat the dragon and turned the End into a farm for shulkers and elytra, so needing eyes of Enders was off the list. But why did Grian need potions? Iskall has assumed a prank and asked if Grian wanted help with other potion ingredients, but he had declined in a rather cold "no," saying that the strawberry blonde didn't need any more stress right now.

It wasn't until someone not even on the Hermitcraft server, PearlescentMoon, messaged someone she knew was in the server to check on Grian, as he hadn't posted anything online in nearly three weeks, and hadn't given any explanation to where he may have gone.

When Iskall finally heard that he had called Mumbo, Xisuma, and False, hoping that maybe one of them could help.

"Heeeeyy Iskall!" X greeted as he swooped I'm in front of Grian's cart, where Iskall has thought to ironically meet because it was in the middle of the shopping district and an easy place to meet, not actually because they were here to talk about Grian.

"What's up?" False asked, using an ender pearl to warp into the side of the cart and bouncing off casually.

"Show off," Iskall muttered, recognizing the subtle PVP tactics. False grinned but before she could retort, Mumbo landed with a little stumble, grumbling about lag and elytra not working properly still.

"Hey Mumbo!" Iskall greeted cheerfully. Mumbo nodded silently as the others waved.

"Why have you called us, Iskall?" X asked curiously.

"Right, right," the Swede started, glancing around the small group, "now that we're all here, I'm going to get straight to the point. Has anyone seen Grian recently?"

Everyone shook their heads.

"I've been by his base a couple of times, but he's never there. He's replied to my texts at least, but hasn't shown up around my base in a while," Mumbo immediately recalled with a frown.

Xisuma was on his phone, a tool that everyone had for chat, inventory, surfing the web outside the server, everything. "It says he's online," he noted, turning the screen the other way and showing the online player list.

"He's been online for weeks," False informed, "Every time I've looked he's been on anyway."

"And yet no one has seen him? I was hoping that maybe you had seen him on another part of the server, like your fantasy district, False." Iskall sighed. The blonde girl shook her head.

"I think we should check on him. This usually isn't like him," X decided, prepping a rocket.

"I was wondering if there might be a glitch somewhere, and that's why he's been so weird. That's why I called you, X," Iskall explained as he took out a stack of rockets from his backpack.

"And I'm here because I'm closest to him I'm assuming, not because of my redstone or that I'm a spoon," Mumbo sighed jokingly. Everyone got a quick laugh out of that before Iskall patted Mumbo's back rather hard, making him stumble, before they all took off over the shoulder of the Statue of Hermity.

Within minutes the group was circling the massive tower in the middle of the ocean, an insane project for the newest member of Hermitcraft.

"See anything?" False called to anyone nearby.

"Nothing! Looks empty to me!" X replied.

Iskall blasted out of the bottom floor entrances. "The towers are mob traps, don't go in there!" he screeched, sounding thoroughly spooked.

"What about the basement? Or the upper floors?" Mumbo asked.

"He has a basement?" False questioned.

Iskall nodded. "I'll check there. False, want to come with? Mumbo and X, you go check upstairs. Sound good?"

With a quick confirmation from everyone, the pairs split to search the futuristic wedding cake.

Iskall had been down to the basement a few times before, if only in the first few weeks of Hermitcraft Season 6 when Grian actually USED his basement. There were chests down there that were collecting dust, and some poor cows trapped in a nano farm the NHO apparently never discovered.

"Oh my gosh, Iskall! Look at this!" False called from somewhere ahead.

"Coming!" Iskall replied and tried to find where False had gone off to.

He skidded to a halt when he found her on the edge of an opening in the shoddy basement, facing a massive opening in the rock.

"Woah," Iskall breathed. The cave was huge and clearly manmade, and the Swede wondered how long it must have taken for Grian to dig and terraform and decorate the cavern.

No to mention the large egg-shaped build floating in the air in the center of the cave.

"I think we found Poultry Man," False smirked.

"So calling G our on it when we find him," Iskall laughed. Then both his and False's phone buzzed.

<xisumavoid> come to the top of of the tower

"Let's go then!" False cheered.

They shot out of the bubble columns through the body of water underneath Grian's base and launched through the holes in the middle of each layer to the top.

"Too far guys!" Mumbo's voice called as they flew through the top layer.

"Oops!" Iskall chuckled.

"Coming right back down!" False called and they two glided into the smallest layer.

Xisuma and Mumbo were inside a vibrant garden that was in the top layer. There were vines growing up the sides of the cyan glass and parrots that squawked warily from a distance.

But the most eye-catching thing was the tree that grew to the side.

"What in the world?" False breathed when she landed.

"Don't know, but it doesn't look great," Xisuma said shortly, already on his phone and tapping at controls and Admin commands.

Iskall landed beside Mumbo, who was examining the tree intently with a concerned frown and creased eyebrows.

Every hermit on the server's life force was tied to a special tree. It was something new that they were trying, to prevent less deaths and item losses by being more careful and to fix a few issues that had happened on the technical side from previous seasons. A lot of the trees were unique to look like each Hermit, such as DocM's being rather sharply split between green and grey or Scar's currently being a palm tree. Most of the time they were no big deal. Each time a hermit died, the tree would take some damage in some way, such as a leaf dropping to the ground. Unless it was several deaths in a row, you couldn't even notice the difference in the tree. And even if you did die a lot, if you played it safe for a couple days your tree would be back to normal again in no time.

But this was different.

Grian's tree here in his aviary looked half-dead. It was normally a fairly simple oak tree, but with autumn red leaves instead of green. But half the leaves were fallen, dry on the ground, and the ones still on the tree were either brown or purple. A limb had even fallen, splintered and leaning against the trunk of the tree itself.

"Grian..." Mumbo murmured. He couldn't imagine what had happened for this to be the cause, or how Grian must be feeling if his tree was like this.

"What happened?” Iskall wondered, he started to approach the tree, but Xisuma called him back.

"It doesn't look like the tree has been healing over time properly," X muttered under his breath, his expression serious as he analyzed the details coming up on the server monitoring screen of his phone.

"We all know Grian dies a lot, could that be the cause?" False suggested nervously. X shook his head.

"This is over a long span of time, probably since the start of the season even."

"And Grian hasn't died since he's gone silent. It's not hard to miss a death message in the chat," Mumbo recalled, also pulling up the server chat on his own phone, "It's been three weeks, that should be plenty of time for the tree to have healed without any interruptions."

The sound of a firework going off and a rush of air as elytra closed up. The four hermits jumped as a newcomer stumbled into the garden, losing his balance and catching the broken branch to hold himself up as he landed.

"Guys?" A very pale- and sick-looking Grian breathed, before coughing into his arm and sliding to the ground.

"I think something's wrong..."

------------------------

Word Count: 1830

[revwinchester]

They/Them

Summary: Gabriel finds themself the victim of discrimination while at Pride but a man he doesn’t know stands up for them and calls out his friend’s toxic behavior.  Turns out that’s the just start of it all.

Pairing: Sabriel (cisgender Sam x nonbinary Gabriel)

Rating: teen and up

Warnings: blatant transphobia/nonbinaryphobia and discrimination, some curse words, hurt/comfort, angsty start with a happy middle and ending, explicit mentions of sex but no mentions/depictions of explicit sex (if you don’t want to read that, stop before the time jump)

Word Count: 1239

A/N: This is my entry for the June @gabriel-monthly-challenge.  I loosely used both aesthetic prompts for inspiration.  I also didn’t go straight for one of the Pride story prompts but took inspiration from the spirit of them, writing a fic set at Pride.  I was also inspired by two short text posts I saw floating around on tumblr - a couple people reblogged them - that I could just hear Gabriel saying as I read them.  I was supposed to be packing for a trip and, instead, I wrote this.  Gabriel agrees that packing is terrible.

One final note: I am not trans or nonbinary however I based a lot of Gabriel’s story on the real story of a friend of mine who is (with their permission).

They/Them - 

Gabriel put their head down and kept walking.  Growing up knowing they were different in a small town in the deep south meant that they had heard every slur in the book - and even some that weren’t in there - hurled at them.  They had a thick skin by now but this time it hurt worse.  This time, the abuse was coming from within the walls, or fences really, of Pride.  Gabriel had moved to the city almost a year ago, leaving their small minded town behind.  They had found a great group of friends and had assumed the positivity and support they had experienced would extend to the rest of the revelers they would meet during Pride but that was, apparently, not the case.

“Stop being such a snowflake,” one of the men shouted at Gabriel, “your kind is causing too much trouble for the rest of us.”

The man’s words made Gabriel regret the outfit they had chosen for the day.  But it was the last day of Pride and skirts were freaking comfortable, damnit.  Not to mention the tank top - one of their favorites, though it didn’t make it out of the closet often - black with the word “enby” printed across the chest in the colors of the pansexual flag.  They picked up their pace, wanting to pass the group of men as quickly as possible.  “Association of Gay Lawyers” the banner a few of them held read.  Well, Gabriel wouldn’t be going to any of them if they ever needed legal assistance.

The man was still shouting terrible things as Gabriel drew closer.  When a second man joined him, they were nearly in tears.  Even so, Gabriel couldn’t help but notice that this guy was the sexiest man they had ever seen in their life.  He was tall and muscular, filling out his v-neck and plaid over-shirt so well that it was practically criminal, and he had shaggy, chocolate brown hair that Gabriel just wanted to run their hands through.  Instead, though, they braced themselves for the taunts to double.

Much to their surprise, though, that wasn’t the case when the man opened his mouth.

At first, Gabriel assumed that the words were directed at them but when they chanced a glance up, the man was glaring at his friend.  

“Pride is all about loving ourselves for who we are when the world tells us we’re unlovable.  Trans and non binary people don’t threaten your fun or your existence as a gay man, Brady,” the tall guy continued before the first man could speak up.  “So you and your transphobic bullshit and bigotry can fuck off.”

Gabriel stood and stared, transfixed by what was happening.  They didn’t know this guy; why was he standing up for them?

“What are you looking at bitch boy?” the first man - Brady, apparently - shouted.  He was probably lashing out, Gabriel knew, but the words still cut deep.  They turned on their heel and stalked away, their fists balled at their side, seeking the relative safety of the Genderfluid Coalition tent.  Though, if Gabriel was being honest with themself, they weren’t sure if anywhere would actually be safe from assholes like Brady.

Gabriel was so wrapped up in their head that they nearly missed the sound of feet pounding on the pavement as someone followed them, running to catch up.

“Hey!” the handsome man called out, causing Gabriel to stop despite their better judgement.  “I’m sorry you had to listen to Brady say that crap back there.  He’s an asshole but the guys tend to let him get away with it because his dad’s a high powered attorney.  But…”

“But you don’t?” Gabriel spat, their voice hard.

The man took it in stride, though.  “Nope.  I don’t care who you know, doesn’t give you the right to treat another human being like shit.  He and I were in college and then law school together.  Somewhere in our sophomore year, the guy just changed.  I guess I stick around because someone’s gotta keep him in check.”  

He smiled down at Gabriel and, gods, his dimples…

“I’m just sorry I couldn’t do more but I really can’t handle another assault on my record.”

And now the man was blushing and Gabriel knew they were a goner.  “Another?” they asked, clearing their throat.

“Uh, yeah,” the handsome man replied, rubbing at the back of his neck nervously.  “I mean, it was a while ago, back in law school… A professor trying to prey on me and some of the other queer students.  He didn’t get very far and even the police agreed that it was justified but… another assault would probably get me disbarred.”

They stood in silence for a moment, neither of them sure how to continue their conversation, though Gabriel definitely wanted to.

“Look,” the man finally said, “I know you probably didn’t need some white knight to ride in and save you but I just… You looked like you could use a friend back there.”  He paused and held out a hand.  “I’m Sam, by the way.”

Gabriel shook Sam’s hand and introduced themself.  “Gabriel.  They/them.  And thanks, sometimes a knight in shining armor is nice.”

A second awkward silence fell between the pair and Gabriel knew they were blushing.  This time, Gabriel was the one to break the silence.  

“So… I’m always a slut for kindness and basic human decency,” they said, their tone light.  “Let’s go camping and have tent sex.”  It was a joke (mostly), the kind of thing that just fell out of Gabriel’s mouth when they were nervous, and they were surprised to see that Sam seemed to be considering their offer.

“Honestly, I think I’d like that,” Sam replied, “but I’d like to get to know you better first.  Where were you headed?  I’ll walk with you if that’s alright.”

Gabriel just nodded dumbly and pointed in the direction they had been heading.  Shit like this didn’t happen, especially not to them.  They walked off, Sam grabbing their hand as they moved together.

“Is this ok?” Sam asked.

“Yeah,” Gabriel replied as they realized that it really was.

-----

Three months later

-----

“Gabriel!  Come on!”  Sam shouted.

He had gotten to Gabriel’s apartment right on time, only to find them still not ready.  Sam had done all the preparation work - including packing a costume or two for him and Gabriel to play with (Gabe was going to look ridiculous and adorable in the camp counselor get up) - and all his partner had to do was pack for themselves.  But of course, Gabriel had waited until the last minute.

“Just put your stuff in a bag, babe,” Sam insisted as he entered Gabriel’s bedroom.  “I’ve got everything else covered.  I’ve been planning for and looking forward to this trip since we met.”

Gabriel looked up at him with a quizzical look on their face.

“You promised me tent sex,” Sam reminded them.  “Not to mention that our campsite is pretty secluded so I’m hoping for some hammock sex, some post s’mores sex next to the fire, and maybe even some naked kayaking if the weather holds up…” Sam was smirking at Gabriel by the time he finished speaking.

Gabriel’s pupils were expanding with lust at Sam’s words.  “If we’re going to be fucking the whole time, why do I even need clothes?” they asked, grabbing their leather jacket and throwing it on.  “Let’s just get going!”

If you would like to be added to (or removed from) one of my tag lists send an ask and let me know!

ALL THE TAGS! (forevers): @deathtonormalcy56 @supernaturalyobsessed @roxy-davenport @gallifreyansass @hexparker @thinkwritexpress-official @atc74 @thewhiterabbit42 @nobodys-baby-now @mouselovesmusic @nanika67 @smdzone @doctor-zyre @proserpinadante @lonely-potatolookingforbooks

Sabriel: @warlockwriter @digi-doubles @dgirl36 @donttouchmyfrenchtoast

GMC Tags: @archangelsanonymous @warlockwriter @archangel-with-a-shotgun @ttttrickster @archangelgabriellives

[sweetlysilent]

Figment (Ch. Five)

Requested By: Nobody

Pairing: Richie Tozier x Reader

Warnings: Traumatic Memories, Fear, Swearing, Symptoms of Anxiety, Mention of Pennywise, etc.

Summary:

When is a door not a door? Most people tend to always overthink the question, over processing what the answer could be, when in reality it’s right in front of your face. When it’s ajar. This is a riddle that is constantly in the back of your mind.

Just like your greatest fear, it lurks between the space of the door, showing it’s form like a shadow, always creeping behind you. But you convince yourself it’s just a figment of your imagination, that it’s all in your head, that you’re just seeing things. But, what happens when the Loser’s Club end up seeing it too?

A/N: HAPPY NEW YEAR!! what better way to start off 2018 than to upload Figment amirite? :))) also sorry it's been so long since I've updated it, I've been so tired lately :// so, here's a longer chapter to make up for it!

So, I don’t know how many people enjoy this lil blurb mini series but I really like it so I’m going to continue writing it bc it makes me happy. If you like it too then by all means go ahead and read it and if you don’t then don’t read it :)) I post other content too.

PSA: Since I’m still having issues with saving/editing text posts I’m unable to update my Masterlist, therefore, if you want to keep up with my more recent writings I will be tagging my fics with ’#masterlist’ so if you want to find them you’ll be able to. If you’re on mobile you can go up to the little search icon in the right hand corner and simply search ‘masterlist’ and my fics (and my masterlist) will show up!

This isn’t exactly based off the movie or the book, I’m just kind of free handing it and I might use bits and pieces from the movie, but besides that I’m basically just flowing with it. Another thing, feel free to send a comment in my ask or below on what you thought of this part! I’d love to see everyone’s reactions, it helps keep me motivated.

Also, comment below or send me an ask if you’d like to be tagged!

After your encounter with Richie, you both had decided it was best you two talked to the Loser's to make them believe, to understand just how serious this situation was.

You had ended up going back home late sometime in the morning, attempting to get some sleep, Richie had offered you to crash at his house, but you persuaded him saying you'd join once you'd awoken, thus leaving Richie wide awake, trying to think of the best way to approach the group without sounding crazy.

Which one hundred percent backfired on him.

"Richie I think you've completely lost your mind." Stan rolled his eyes, his arms crossed as he looked at the dark haired brunette boy.

"You're starting to sound like Y/N." Eddie chimed in, a faint smile on his lips as he adjusted his fanny pack.

"It's because Y/N is right. You all need to get your heads out of your asses and open your eyes." Richie spoke annoyed, his eyes enlarging from his glasses.

"I-It's true. Richie and Y-Y/N are telling the tru-truth." Bill jumped in, looking at the group, minus you.

"Speaking of Y/N, where are they?" Ben questioned, looking at Mike who simply shrugged as everyone else ignored his question.

"Wait, Bill what are you even talking about? Now you've seen this 'killer clown' too?" Stan questioned, his voice rising ever so slightly.

"I-I've seen G-Georgie.." Bill's voice wavered, his eyes dropping to his shoes.

"He told you that you'd float too, right?" Richie questioned, his eyes fixated on Bill who's head rose and nodded faintly.

"That's what IT told Y/N too." Richie whispered, his voice pausing before he continued speaking. "I think Y/N might be the next one taken and we can't let that happen." Richie explained, watching as everyone was either nodding agreement or giving a skeptical look.

"I saw the clown too.." Mike finally spoke up, his voice quiet as he kept his eyes on the ground.

"This is all a load of bullshit." Stan muttered, rubbing his hands over his face as Beverly hushed him.

"Mike if you saw IT, why didn't you tell us?" Beverly whispered, looking at the boy who you could tell was traumatized by the memory.

"I-It was when.. when Bower's and his friends were.. were you know.. and I turned my head to the side.. and it was there, just watching me.." Mike choked out, tears slipping down his cheeks.

Ben wrapped an arm around Mike's shoulder, as everyone listened quietly.

"Alright, let's just face it, we've all seen IT, that fucking clown is appearing everywhere we go. It's time we figure out how to stop it before it takes anyone else." Richie stood up, starting to pace back and forth as he spoke, his glasses sliding down his nose a bit.

"I would like to interject, I haven't seen IT, nor do I want to. I think you all are hallucinating. Y/N somehow got into all of your minds and is making you believe this is all real. You're all crazy!" Stan shouted, his face becoming flushed as his voice rose.

"Stan, calm down." Beverly rested her hand on his shoulder gently.

"You had to of seen something, why else would you be acting like this?" Ben questioned, raising a skeptical eyebrow at Stan who avoided his gaze.

"I just.. I want this to all be over.." Stan whispered, his eyes starting to become watery.

"Then lets kill this fucking clown." Richie spat out, as everyone nodded with him.

"Wait Richie, where is Y/N?" Beverly questioned, now realizing you should have been with them already.

"They said once they woke up that they'd come, but seeing that it's already past noon I'm not really sure, Y/N is a very punctual person and.." Richie's worried voice trailed off, his eyes widening as he looked at Beverly.

"Y-You don't t-think..?" Bill stuttered, his eyes also widening.

"S-Shit! Fuck! Y/N told me this would happen! -Shit! God dammit." Richie cursed, his eyes the size of saucers from his glasses as he now was pacing the room frantically.

"Richie slow down, what the fuck is going on?" Eddie grabbed ahold of his shoulders, giving him a worried look.

"Last night.. Y/N came to my house.." Richie started, his leg twitching anxiously.

"I-I thought Y-Y/N was taking s-s-sleeping pills?" Bill raised his eyebrow, looking at Richie with a confused expression.

"Y/N can apparently wake up from them, especially when they have a night terror." Richie explained, his eyes trailing over his friends.

"A night terror? Aren't those really intense?" Mike questioned, looking at Richie who was nodding frantically.

"Y/N said that the clown was chasing them. And then.. and then Y/N saw me, that stupid fucking clown pretended to be me!" Richie shouted angrily his hands clutching his hair.

"Whoa what?" Stan breathed out, his own eyes now widening.

"This isn't even the first time this has happened guys, Y/N moved to Derry to get away from this psycho clown." Richie choked out, his eyes becoming red as tears threatened to spill.

"IT killed two of Y/N's friends.. it tried to take the rest of their friend group too, but they thought they defeated it, but they didn't. And now it's back. And I think it took Georgie, and I think now it took Y/N too." Richie cried out, his voice cracking at the end before a sob escaped his mouth.

The group stared at Richie in what was mixed with shock and sadness.

They had never seen Richie emotional before, not even when shit would happen with his parents. Richie would still continue to be Richie, with his trashmouth attitude along with his inappropriate jokes.

Something clicked in that moment, that's when everyone realized Richie wasn't joking, that he was serious.

"Let's find Y/N."

"RICHIE!" You screamed, sprinting down the dark sewer hall as the water splashed against your legs.

"I'm right here Y/N." His voice appeared from behind you, making you spin around so fast your feet stumbled.

"Thank god. Can we please get out of here?" You pleaded, your eyes red and puffy from crying as Richie nodded, leading the way as you followed.

You weren't sure how you ended up somewhere below the ground in the sewers, you had left Richie's house to go back home to sleep, but you never made it back, and instead woke up in dark grey water.

"Richie.. Are you sure we're going the right way?" You whispered, looking at the walls before walking into an open room.

"Of course Y/N. I have you right where I want you." He grinned evilly at you, making your body freeze.

"Y-You're.." You stammered, eyes widening as his true form revealed in front of you.

"Yes, Y/N, I'm not Richie." Pennywise grinned, his teeth showing, making your legs weaken.

"This isn't real.. You aren't real.." You whispered to yourself, unable to meet the eye of the clown.

"This isn't real enough for you Y/N? Is was real enough for Joshua, for Kate." Pennywise shouted, his smile growing wider as he faced you.

Your heart sank at the names of your friends that went missing that summer, it made you feel sick to your stomach.

You wanted to run, to get away before it was too late, but your feet felt like they were glued to the ground, making you stuck, trapped.

"It's time for you to float too." Pennywise grinned, his maniac laughter echoing throughout the sewer as he sprinted towards you.

You let out one last blood curtailing scream, hoping, praying, someone would hear you.

And then it was silent.

Tags: @the-crime-fighting-spider @f-b-a-w-t-f-t-2 @mishamgos @winter-fire-and-january-embers @hey-its-bean @theotherschuyler @o-starshine @missingeddiekaspbrack @upsides-dawn @artsysugg @goawayjules

[writingintheocean]

Star Wars Modern AU based on multiple text posts I’ve seen floating around tumblr. This is the first thing I’ve written for fun in a while and I am. Excited.

time to vore canon.

The porch light clicks on after he’s been knocking for three minutes.

General Organa steps out in a nightgown, one hand on her shower cap (that he knows is stuffed to the brim with rollers) and the other wielding a candelabra. “Poetry Isaac Dameron get OFF my porch and go HOME to your apartment or so help me—”

“Wait, General, if you would please just listen to me--” Poe ducks as she takes a rudimentary swing at him, “—because I really appreciate what you’re trying to do for me but I also think that I’ve—” he swerves again, “—learned so much just from spending extra time with you and—”

She levels the candlestick at his chest when he backs off the last step. “Poe. You’ve been sleeping on my couch for the last three months. And I care for you,” she settles her free hand on his shoulder, “Like a son.”

He can’t help inhaling proudly, even if pride smells like vanilla tealights.

“Which is why I’m nudging you out of the nest and into the next phase of your life.” She grabs his shoulder and spins him around, an easy feat on the wet sidewalk, and all but shoves him towards his moped.

BB-8 barks from the backseat.

“I’ve paid the first month’s rent and signed all the papers!” she calls to him, marching back inside.

The slap of her fuzzy slippers on the sidewalk isn’t loud enough to drown out his disorientation but he manages to mumble out “Thank you, ma’m.”

She blows a kiss to his bike. “Goodnight BB-8.” Leia’s smile is soft, but her eyes could spark a fire. “Goodnight, Commander.”

The door closes.

Poe stares at BB-8 for a second, hands locked behind his head and frantically jumping from one idea to the next. How was he supposed to…..? There was always--! He could….? Jobs. He throws his arms out and turns back to the house. “What about those applications I’m still waiting on?”

“Check your email!” comes the muffled reply.

BB-8 howls in agreement.

The sprinkler system switches off the same time as the porch light.

  Rey slams the can of baked beans on the ground and scrambles for her stick as the footsteps get closer.

A gloved hand moves the curtain out of the way. Whoever he is, he’s covered from head to toe in black despite the Arizona heat. “Ma’m you can’t stay here.”

She swallows the mouthful of beans. “I live here.”

“You’re squatting here. Either you leave on your own or we have orders to remove you for trespassing.”

She glances around, eyeing the few dishes behind a rock, her sleeping bag.

“Miss. Now.”

There weren’t many caves out here. It would take too long to build a shack, maybe the rusted-out car a mile from here? “I have to stay here.”

“Okay, let’s go.” He bends down and steps inside, reaching out to grab onto her. His other hand hovers near the tazer on his belt.

She scoots back, teeth bared and hands up. “I’ll leave just give me a minute.”

He squints at her for a second, taking in the scowl and the stick before stepping back outside. “Quickly now.”

The curtain falls back into place, taking most of the sunlight with it. She crawls towards the dishes and begins shoving them one by one into her pack. Was this it? There weren’t many other places she could stay safely around here. The money she’d saved up from working the Plutt Farm wouldn’t last a month.

He kicks the side of the entrance. “Hurry it up in there.”

Rey secures her bag on the end of her stick and brushes aside the curtain, grabbing her doll on the way out.

If the solider notices it, he doesn’t say anything.

He grabs her upper arm and roughly leads her to the fence gate. “The next time we catch you here it’s jail and trespassing charges.” With a shove, he pushes her out of the only home she’s ever known. “You lazyass squatters need to get a job and start contributing like the rest of us.”

“This WAS my job,” she mutters, shouldering her bag.

She’s a half a mile to the road when she remembers her beans.

  “Finn, correct?” If Phasma was suspicious, she certainly didn’t show it. “I’ve heard good things about you. Great things, potentially.” She extends her hand, a fistful of silver rings that match her suit glittering on her fingers. They look more like they belong on a underground fighter than a corporate executive.

“Yes ma’m,” he doesn’t know what else to do so he shakes her hand and tries not to look like a guy smuggling criminal information out of the building.

She smiles. It doesn’t look happy. “I expect those ‘potentials’ to materialize. You could bring great things to this institution.”

There’s sweat under his arms. “Thank you ma’m.”

“Snoke put you on the new demolition project I’m heading up, correct?”

“Yes ma’m.”

“Excellent. Then I will be watching, Finn.” And she marches past him, the smell of smoke following.

He waits a beat, for her to turn the corner, and launches himself back into a frantic pace. There wasn’t a plan per se, did anyone ever really have a plan? It wasn’t like this was his whole LIFE was hanging in the balance and practically depended on him doing the First Order’s dirty work except THAT IT DID.

There’s no way his suitcase is as heavy as it feels.

The receptionist waves him out into the parking lot, her long black nails making a loud click! as she releases the door locks.

The lampposts in the parking lot have turned everything a fuzzy orange as Finn fumbles for his keys. “Stay calm, stay calm,” he whispers, over and over again as if it can protect him from the potential of years in jail. He gets the key in the lock before he realizes it’s not even his car because DAMMIT all the cars look the SAME; couldn’t the First Order afford company cars that weren’t black sedans?

Was he even allowed to take a car from a company he was leaving? His phone? His watch?

There was a bus. Maybe. He remembers driving past the stop from company housing this morning. It had to be close. And from there……….........somewhere.

  Unlike the rest of his constituents, Councilman Snoke wasn’t wearing a nametag. He had on a garish gold filigree tie that would have worked better as an ornate bathrobe and his bald head was so wrinkled it didn’t even reflect the Union building’s lights. Add that to his towering stature, somehow a head taller than even Hux, was a thrilling sight.

And Hux? Was in awe. He ran a hand over his chin as he approached the leader, grateful he had scheduled time to shave this morning.

Snoke catches sight of him and grins, sending away the two undergraduates who had been basking in his attention. “Armitage,” he rasps, “I see you are still taking your time with school.”

Hux freezes, the combination of his first name and Snoke’s disappointment pressing down like a physical blow. “Once I complete my degree, my competency will be unmatched to take command of the city’s police force.”

He laughs. “Your confidence is impressive. The First Order will be lucky to have such a man as you handling the law here. And—”

Hux can feel the shadow rise behind him before Snoke finishes his sentence. It’s a strange feeling, to have someone tower over you that isn’t a magnificent hairless idol, but the strangeness flashes to bile when he turns around.

“—even luckier to have my assistant here learning alongside you.”

Kylo Ren greets him with a nod. “Armitage.”

At least he wasn’t wearing those stupid black sunglasses. “I go by Hux here, actually.”

Snoke adjusts his cufflinks and waves to another woman wearing a nametag. “I’ve made plans for the two of you to share an apartment. Keeps expenses down.”

Hux opens his mouth to argue when the pressured feeling returns, crushing into him and filling the air the electricity.

Kylo looks away.

“Something to say, Hux?” Snoke says his name the way you talk about your hundreds of thousands of income: with relish. “No?” His smile is hypnotic. “Excellent. I will let the two of you sort out the details. And don’t bother me until you’ve finished.” He stalks off, the wrinkles on his head a dead giveaway for when his expression shifts from ‘barely tolerable’ to a legislative-winning smile.

The pressure fades.

Kylo sticks out his hand, one eye on Snoke’s back. “I take it you picked out a single?”

“Conveniently, there were none available. We’ll both have our own rooms.” Hux shakes his hand before reaching back into his bag. “I look forward to working with you.” He looks Kylo in the eye as he pours out hand sanitizer and begins to apply it. “Truly.”

[choclette8]

If you love a good curry, but keep making the same ones time and time again, it might be time to try something different. This healthy mushroom curry with cashew nuts is full of flavour, colour and nutritious ingredients. It’s one of Chetna Makan’s recipes from her new book, Chetna’s Healthy Indian Vegetarian. Plus there’s a chance to win a copy for yourself.

If you’re a fan of The Great British Bake Off, you will know Chetna Makan. She wowed the judges with her creative and vibrant flavour combinations back in 2014. But although she’s a keen baker, she also enjoys simple Indian home cooking. Chetna’s Healthy Indian: Vegetarian is her fourth book.

Chetna’s Healthy Indian: Vegetarian

Chetna was inspired to write this book after a research trip to India. Vegetables and home cooking are integral to the cuisine of most parts of this vast country. As well as making veg the star of the show, however, she also showcases recipes that are healthier than many. The tag lines, “everyday veg and vegan feasts; effortlessly good for you”, pretty much says it all.

Most of the recipes are really easy to make. And a lot of them are quite quick too.

The book is divided into eight chapters. Each chapter contains around ten recipes, although some have a couple more and some a couple less. I’ve looked at every single one and strangely enough, I want to try them all. Here’s a flavour of each of the chapters and what you might find therein.

Soups & Starters

Soup isn’t something I generally associate with Indian cuisine. But of course there are soup recipes. Every culture has them after all. Creamy tomato and coconut milk soup looks totally delicious. Sweet and sour garlic and tamarind rasam, on the other hand, sounds quite intriguing.

The salads are refreshing and light and include lentil and mango salad and grilled corn and red onion salad. You can treat these as a starter, a light lunch or a side.

Snacks & Canapés

The recipes in this chapter are perfect for entertaining. But they’re also great for picnics and packed lunches. Cheese and potato chapatti sandwiches sound counterintuitive , but I suspect I’d find them irresistible. They’re definitely on my list of must tries. I’ve made chocolate rocot0 stuffed chillies before and they nearly blew our heads off. Chetna has a recipe for gram flour stuffed chillies. She suggests finding the right chilli for your tastes before stuffing them. Much more sensible than our approach. 

Sabji

Sabji are dry vegetable dishes. Chetna describes them as akin to Indian vegetable stir-fries. Serve them on their own with flatbreads or to accompany curries and other dishes such as dal and rice. Chetna particularly likes to use them as stuffings for sandwiches, wraps and toasties.

Onion and green pea sabji is a great all rounder. It sounds delicious and given that most of us have a pack of frozen peas in the freezer, it can be made at a moment’s notice. I’m also keen to try sour and spicy okra with potatoes and asparagus paneer.

Lentils, Peas & Beans

Dal is one of my absolute favourite dishes. So I can’t wait to get properly stuck into the recipes in this chapter. You’ll find a basic quick and easy dal recipe for sure, but there’s so much more. In this chapter you’ll also find a recipe for a super green spinach masala chickpeas.

I know I have a pack of urad dal lurking around somewhere in the back of a cupboard. So I absolutely must make Chetna’s masala urad dal. It’s a nice thick one and it just sounds so good.

Curries

As you’d expect from Chetna, there are a few tricks and twists to elevate your curry cookery to the next level. The mushroom curry for example, isn’t just any old mushroom curry. It contains cashew nuts for extra texture, nutrition and flavour, but also gram flour for thickening.

There are also some unexpected finds. I understand jackfruit curry is quite common in India, but I’ve never seen a recipe for one in an Indian cookbook here in the UK before. Chetna has that one covered.

As much as I dislike the term fusion food, Chetna has snuck in a few adaptations. Look out for some standard British produce which gets a makeover. Here are a couple: broad bean curry; courgette kofta curry.

Rice & Roti

If you’re after a standard roti, paratha or naan bread recipe, this isn’t the book for you. Instead Chetna gives us a whole range of lesser known and unusual bread recipes. I’ve been exploring all sorts of flatbreads over the last few months and I’ve enjoyed the process enormously. But I have to say I’d never heard of kulcha until I saw the recipe for buckwheat kulcha in this book. But now, of course, I want to try it.

This chapter includes recipes for dosas, a beetroot chapatti and a chilli naan. When it comes to the rice side of things, expect to see such delights as bengali khichdi and aubergine and potato rice.

Raita & Chutney

The penultimate chapter of the book is for the spicy or cooling condiments that put the finishing touches to a good Indian meal. Roast carrot raita sits alongside a host of other yoghurt based sides. The tamarind and date chutney, with its sweet and sour notes, has my name written all over it.

Sweets

Well you can’t have an Indian cookbook without a few sweets to finish off. Indians have a notoriously sweet tooth. Chetna’s desserts err on the healthier end of the spectrum though and aren’t nearly as sweet as you’d expect. Rose sandesh, a strained milk based pudding, sounds particularly appealing.

Publisher Details

Chetna’s Healthy Indian: Vegetarian */ Chetna Makan. Published by Octopus Books in hardback with an RRP of £20. ISBN – 9781784726621.

If you like the sound of this cookbook, head down to the bottom of the post where you’ll find the chance to win a copy.

What I Really Like

Although there are some familiar recipes in the book, such as chana dal there are many more unusual ones. This gets me excited.

Every recipe has a photograph to show the finished dish. This is quite a rarity in cookbooks these days. As you’d expect, they all look good and eminently toothsome. But there’s also a number of shots taken in India. These are mostly of market produce, but there’s a few buildings and street scenes thrown in to conjure up an exotic, sultry and colourful aura – the essence of India.

Some cookbooks these days are obsessed by celebrity culture and feature more shots of the author than they do of the recipes they’ve created. I’m very pleased to say that Chetna is not such a person. There are only two photos of her in the whole book and they’re both in the introduction.

I’m a big fan of pulses, which is just as well as they’re a mainstay of my diet. Not only are they nutritious and tasty but they’re also incredibly versatile. It seems I’m not alone. Chetna is also a fan. To help those that aren’t as familiar with peas, beans and lentils as she is, there is a Pulse Primer section in the book.

Her guide to the individual qualities of different pulses is to encourage readers to explore and use a wider variety than they may be familiar with.

What Could Be Better

To be honest, I’m struggling to think of anything.

Mushroom Curry with Cashew Nuts

We really enjoyed Chetna’s mushroom and cashew curry. I’ve called it mushroom curry because there aren’t really that many cashews included. They do add to the overall texture and flavour though, so they’re an important addition.

To turn this mushroom curry into a vegan offering rather than a vegetarian one, just swap the dairy yoghurt for a plant based one.

It’s a standalone dish, quite capable of top billing. Just serve it with rice or flatbreads. That said, it would also make a fabulous contribution to a curry night. Pair it with a dal and some sort of green vegetable curry maybe. I’ve provided a selection of curries further down the post which would all make excellent accompaniments.

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Fry the cumin seeds, onions and cashew nuts.

Add the garlic or garlic scapes.

I mostly followed the recipe, but did make a couple of adjustments. We had a load of garlic scapes from the allotment that I needed to use up. So I added quite a lot of those rather than the garlic listed in the recipe. As there was quite enough allium activity going on, I only used one onion rather than two.

Gram Flour for Thickening

Watery curries aren’t generally that appealing. Chetna, however, has a great tip for thickening the sauce for this cashew mushroom curry. She uses chickpea flour, also known as gram flour or besan. Well what a brilliant idea this is.

The flour not only helps to thicken the sauce, but it also add flavour and a little extra protein. And it’s gluten-free, so there’s no need to worry about any allergies on that score.

Add the gram flour to the fried onions along with the spices and stir. I also added salt and pepper at this stage as I thought it would be harder to stir everything together later in the proceedings.

Top Yoghurt Tip

I’m always wary of adding yoghurt to curries as the yoghurt tends to split. Consequently, the resulting dish doesn’t look very appetising. Chetna’s top tip is to add water to the yoghurt before adding it to the other cooking ingredients. It worked perfectly in this mushroom curry. Just give it a good stir before you pour it in and don’t add it all at once. Slow and steady wins the race.

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Stir in the yoghurt & water after adding spices and gram flour.

Add chopped tomatoes.

I deviated from Chetna’s instructions at this point. Who am I to mess with her recipe? Well it seems I just can’t help myself. I mixed all of the water with the yoghurt and added it in after frying the onions etc. It somehow made more sense to me to do it that way. I poured it in slowly whilst giving it a good stir to mix in the gram flour and spices. It worked fine.

At this point, you add the tomatoes, clap the lid on the pan and allow the contents to gently simmer for ten minutes.

Cooking the Mushrooms

Finally it’s the turn of the main ingredient. Add the sliced mushrooms and coriander leaves. Turns out I had plenty of parsley, but no coriander leaves. So I substituted the first for the second. Cover the pan again and cook for a further ten minutes. Job done.

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Add the mushrooms and coriander (or parsley) leaves.

Cover and cook for ten minutes, then give a good stir and serve.

My top tip is that mushrooms really benefit from a little drop of soy sauce. So I added a teaspoonful of tamari along with the mushrooms for an extra umami boost.

We accompanied the mushroom curry with rice initially. But as there were only two of us, there was plenty left over. So the following evening I warmed the curry up and we enjoyed it with flatbreads.

Other Curry Recipes You Might Like

Baby corn masala via Flavours Treat

Cauliflower kurma via Greedy Gourmet

Green split pea curry via Tin and Thyme

Indian potatoes via Crunch & Cream

Lentil curry with kale & red peppers via Tin and Thyme

Matar paneer via Lost in Food

Roasted aubergine curry (baingan ka bartha) via Simply Food

Sri Lankan okra curry via Veggielicioius

Spinach chickpea curry via Tin and Thyme

Keep in Touch

Thanks for visiting Tin and Thyme. If you make this mushroom curry or have a copy of the book, I’d love to hear about it in the comments below. Have you made any of Chetna’s vegetarian curries? Do share photos on social media too and use the hashtag #tinandthyme, so I can spot them.

For further book reviews and giveaways follow me on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram or Pinterest.

Choclette x

Mushroom Curry. PIN IT.

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Mushroom Curry – The Recipe

Mushroom Curry

A healthy vegetarian main dish curry which is full of flavour, colour and nutritious ingredients.

2 tbsp sunflower oil

1 tsp cumin seeds

12 raw cashew nuts – roughly chopped

2 onions – finely chopped

2 garlic cloves ((I used garlic scapes))

1 tsp ground coriander

½ tsp chilli powder

½ tsp garam masala

½ tsp turmeric

2 tbsp gram flour

100 g natural yoghurt

250 ml water

3 to matoes – finely chopped

400 g chestnut mushrooms – thinly sliced

20 g coriander leaves ((I used parsley))

¾ tsp salt ((I used ½ tsp salt and 1 tsp tamari))

¼ tsp freshly ground black pepper

Heat the oil in a large pan over a medium to low heat and add the cumin seeds. Once they start to sizzle, stir in the cashew nuts followed by the onions.

Cook for about twelve minutes or until the onions are golden brown. Add the garlic and fry for a further minute.

Add the gram flour and remaining spices and stir fry for another minute.

Stir the yoghurt and water together and pour into the pan, a little at a time, stirring all the while. I added the salt and pepper at this point.

Bring it up to a simmer then add the tomatoes. Cover the pan and simmer gently for ten minutes.

Add the mushrooms, coriander leaves and the salt and pepper, if you haven’t already done so. Cover and simmer for a further ten to fifteen minutes or until the mushrooms are cooked.

Give it a good stir and serve warm with rice or flatbreads.

To make this curry vegan, just swap the yoghurt for a plant based one.

Please note: calories and other nutritional information are per serving. They’re approximate and will depend on serving size and exact ingredients used.

Mushroom Curry Sharing

I’m sharing this recipe for a gluten free sponge cake with Apply to Face Blog for #CookBlogShare.

Chetna’s Vegetarian Healthy Indian Giveaway

Octopus Books is offering one Tin and Thyme reader a copy of Chetna’s Healthy Indian: Vegetarian. To be in with a chance of winning, please fill in the Gleam widget below. You will need to leave a comment on this post, answering the question, which then gives you additional chances to enter if you so wish. Gleam will pick a winner at random from the entries received. If you are commenting anonymously, please give me some way of identifying you as I will be verifying the validity of entries. Any automated entries will be disqualified.

This giveaway is only open to those with a UK postal address. Winners will need to respond within 5 days of being contacted. Failure to do this may result in another winner being picked. Leaving your details gives permission for them to be passed on to Octopus Books should you be a winner in this giveaway.

Prizes are offered and provided by Octopus Books and Tin and Thyme accepts no responsibility for the acts or defaults of said third party. Tin and Thyme reserves the right to cancel or amend the giveaway and these terms and conditions without notice.

Closing date is Thursday 16 July 2020

Healthy Indian Thanks to Octopus Books for the copy of Chetna’s Healthy Indian. They did not expect me to write a positive review and all opinions are, as always, my own. This post contains affiliate links to Amazon*. Links are marked with an *. If you buy through a link it won’t cost you any more, but I’ll get a small commission. Thanks to my readers for supporting the brands and organisations that help to keep Tin and Thyme blithe and blogging.

Mushroom Curry + Chetna’s Healthy Indian Giveaway If you love a good curry, but keep making the same ones time and time again, it might be time to try something different.

[mj-spooks]

is there common snake symbolism? like, why is snake symbolism so conflicted? there's the aspect of it that's about deception, and there's an aspect of it that's about healing, and i admit that i don't really get snakes.

So, obviously I’m not a historian. I like history but I’m not disciplined enough to dedicate myself to the study of one specific asset or era, so my knowledge is very eclectic and therefore limited. I’m a jack of all trades, master of none, which I’m mostly fine with since I’m not looking to become a professor or anything like that.

I say that because, everything I say on the subject, take with a grain of salt, it’s all knowledge I’ve absorbed or inferred through a very casual interest in the subject matter, based on what I know about people and psychology, which is another eclectic and limited interest of mine.

Snakes I think get kind of a bad rep because they’re an animal that, in nature, is much more likely to be seen as a threat than an asset. Sure, they eat rats, but so do cats and cats don’t have venomous fangs that they can and will kill you with. They have excellent camouflage and it’s easy for you to come across one and not realize until it’s too late, which I think is the source of the link to deception and trickery. They also have body language that is not always intuitive for humans to understand, because it’s very different in some ways from mammal behavior. (I would highly recommend watching a youtube channel called Snake Discovery for information on snake behavior, it’s a new obsession of mine and Scottie’s. Good stuff, very informative, also ALL TEH SNEK BABIES)

Of course, human innovation being what it is, we did eventually discover that snake venom can be useful. We’re a species that has survived largely through trial and error insofar as what will and will not kill us. There are a million articles and scientific journals and bloody text posts that float around talking about how hilarious it is that we have looked at basically every form of self-defense plants and animals have and found a way to utilize it for our benefit (see: peppers: the capsicum will protect me! humans: mmmmm spicy). Also, a lot of ancient and homeopathic remedies were ‘let me take this thing that can kill/harm me, and find a way to use it in a quantity that will help me faster than it kills/harms me.’ So, snakes are associated with healing in part because we discovered somewhere along the way that their venom has medicinal properties. There is also associations with rebirth, that ties into healing, because they shed their skin.

They’re also seen as guardians. Probably because they’re a very effective deterrent. I imagine it’s the other side of the dangerous/deception coin, what with their ability to appear out of nowhere and defend their territory very quickly and efficiently. Wanna keep people away from something? Snakes. So many snakes. All the snakes. Insert Indiana Jones here.

There’s also a sex association and I’m not entirely sure where that came from, unless it’s a phallic thing.

It’s probably a phallic thing.

[tlcrescuepa]

New Post has been published on To Love a Canine Rescue

New Post has been published on https://tlcrescuepa.com/week-end-update-sunrise-sunset/

Week-End Update: Sunrise, Sunset

Well we’ve closed the chapter in another week and everyone’s spending the rest of the day celebrating Father’s day. Here at TLC, we not only have awesome dads, we have some pretty pawsome foster dads too and we hope they’re all enjoying their special day.

While we’re always happy when our pups find their furever families, some pups end up with an extra-special story as part of their happily ever after. To be honest, we were all surprised that Dozier wasn’t snatched up as soon as he was posted as available – he’s extremely well socialized so he’s good with dogs, cats and people of all ages, he’s also completely unfazed by wheel-chairs, walkers or any sort of medical equipment. He’s also stinkin’ cute! It was only natural for us to take him on a recent visit to Sunrise Senior Living in Paoli and we weren’t surprised that he knocked the socks off all the employees & residents he met. Everyone will be happy to know that one of their own is now Dozier’s proud new dad (seriously, dad looks even more excited than the kids do in the happy tail pic!). Dozier would like to let everyone know that he’s changed his name to Oreo and he can’t wait to start his job as the Community Dog at Sunrise!

Also adopted this week were: Bitly, Brewster (now Obie), Bridgette, Dora (now Bella), Ember (now Ari), Hamlet, Lou (Choo Choo Lou), Mommie (now Emmy), Rex & Tabi (now Sadie).

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Bitly (in the back, being overshadowed by new bro Jack)

Brewster now Obie

Bridgette

Dora now Bella

Ember now Ari

Hamlet

Lou now choo choo Lou

Mommie now Emmy

Rex

Tabi now Sadie

Dozier now Oreo

  We also have some updates to share:

Prue

Prue

“Prue is loving life….”

          Ozzy FKA Osman

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“I wanted to write a note on Ozzy’s (fka Osman) 1 year adoptiversary. To be honest, he’s the one that has taken up all of my time this past year (along with big brother Rocky (fka Earl) 😁). Ever since he came into our lives, he has been non-stop! This guy is around 45lbs now and is non-stop energy, endlessly curious, and always challenging the rules (unless you have a treat, then he’ll do whatever you want). He loves to cuddle and play with his brother, and we could not imagine life without him (even though he challenges our sanity on a daily basis).

Thanks again to all of the volunteers with the rescue, and here’s to a Happy First Adoptiversary to our first foster and foster fail :)”

  Daisy FKA Tina

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  “Tina, now Daisy is AMAZING!  Knock wood no accidents in the house and this morning she purposefully rang a bell to go out.  She is a delight exhibiting all the love and loyalty labs are known for.  She has only eaten two shoelaces which I view as a miracle based on our prior lab.  We have signed up for obedience classes and should see the vet next week.   Can’t say how great she is.”

  Gina

“Gina is doing well. Our vet told her that she hit the jackpot with us since she will be very well taken care of the rest of her life and “will never have to work again”. He has a weird sense of humor and really is a true “dog whisperer” – they all love him.

Gina is a very sweet girl and has already settled into our home with her new fur sister. The only major issue we have with her is that she is terrified of any car or truck. She won’t even walk past them. She refuses to even get close and fights when lifted and put in one. We found this out in your parking lot on Sunday but thought it was just leaving her litter mate. Although after coming home from the vet’s office she came out by herself when she realized where she was. She went right to our other dog, Bella. So that was a really good sign. My vet gave us lots of ideas to ease her into getting in a vehicle which we will try but I am hoping to hire a trainer who will also work with her. Too bad the ones you gave me below are too far away from us, hopefully I can find one in our area.

As for her house behaviors, they are wonderful. She sleeps in a crate at night without a sound and during the day I have it open and she often goes in my herself but she usually is right by my side ( my office is at home) so it is a really “

  Griffin FKA Harry

Griffin FKA Harry

“My sweet Griffin is doing so, so well! He’s honestly the friendliest dog I’ve ever met, and very well behaved. He’s been doing lots of fun new stuff, like going on play dates, swimming, and going to doggie day care, which he LOVES. My husband and I are also moving to a place with a yard, so I know Griffin will be thrilled for that too.

Thank you again for bringing him into our lives! He’s completed our little family so perfectly.” 

  Zara FKA Dolly

Zara FKA Dolly

“We did rename Dolly to Zara, it means flower and princess in 2 different languages. And what a delight she is. She’s settling in so well and we couldn’t be happier with her behavior. She’s a total daddy’s girl and is best friends with her doggie cousin, Rokkit! She’s already learned sit and is out of her crate and free roaming the house. 

 We are calling tonight to make an appointment for the vet and also doing the insurance and lifetime license tonight.

It is very exciting to have her in our home. We can’t thank your rescue enough for bringing her into our lives. We will definitely keep sending pictures as we get them! She’s such a wiggly one haha. “

  Sarge FKA King

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“King is settling in nicely. We will change his name to Sarge. 

I will touch base with the trainer also to catch up on how/what he was trained for so far

THANK you all so much for approving our application and allowing us to adopt such a magnificent addition to our family. He is a perfect fit

I will send pics now that there is some sunshine :)”

  Halley

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“I just wanted to check in and tell you how much we love Halley.  Its been almost a year since we adopted her and we can’t imagine our family without her.   If you remember, we spend the summers in PA and the rest of the year in Maryland.  We just returned to PA for the summer and Halley loves it here, with so many things to smell and see at the lake.  In Maryland we ended up putting in a fence and Halley loves her yard.  She has a dog friend in the neighborhood who comes to play in the yard a few days a week, and we have another dog friend that we walk a few miles with a few times a week.  We also joined a dog park in Columbia, Maryland.   As a tip for your new adopters, lots of opportunities to walk, run, or play with other dogs – at least one big activity a day-  make Halley a great pet the rest of the day.    She is a year and a few months old now and has settled into being a great dog, doesn’t get into quite so much puppy trouble these days.    We crate trained, limited access in the house, learned to keep our belongings off the floor, and waited patiently for her to outgrown her puppy chewing habits.  She has full run of the house now and is very well behaved.   Everyone who meets Halley – strangers, her groomer, the daycare we occasionally use, all think that she is the sweetest dog ever.”

  Dalton FKA Ringo (Tracie’s pup)

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“Dalton is doing great! 

We have already started training and socializing him.  He is with me all the time and has been so great at my three in-service days at school! Everyone says how good and calm he is!  As seen on Facebook, he’s been somewhere everyday we have had him and really is fearless and so curious! 

He is similar and yet so different than Cincy!  We miss Cincy terribly and I still cry each day for him, BUT Dalton is helping ease that pain so much!  Thank you for allowing us to have this incredible gift! He’s truly healing our broken heart! 

We have changed Cincy’s Facebook page to Cincy’s new little brother Dalton’s page.  Please feel free to pass my email address to Dalton’s sisters so they can share and follow if they choose!

Here’s a few shots of our boy!”

  Brees FKA Pryor

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“Brees (previously Pryor) is adjusting well and we are in love with her! She goes to work with me a couple times a week and gets to meet many people and dogs!”

Reese FKA Pia

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“She is doing well, having some troubles with potty training but I guess that is to be expected. We changed her name to Reese.”

  Oliver FKA Orville (Annalee & Tito FKA Thor’s pup)

“Orville (Now Oliver) is settling in well. I had him to the vet on Monday and all was good. He is a smart puppy and is doing well with his housebreaking. He is a perfect match for our family and is so sweet and lovable. I couldn’t ask for a better puppy! I will send pictures as soon as I can.”

  Luna FKA Angie

“Luna has boundless energy! Probably one of the reasons why I haven’t been able to touch base with you…

She loves runs through the woods and every moment spent meeting new fur-

friends!  She greets us at the door with her tail going nuts and lots of licks.  Although she usually has a hard time being still, she is a cuddler at night on the couch.

She makes us smile every day!  We’re looking forward to taking her on vacations with us this summer.”

  Sally Draper FKA Sally

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“We kept her name as Sally (my daughter named her Sally Draper) and she is doing really well, we adore her. I’ve attached some pictures. She has a vet appointment tonight, and is integrating well into our family. I will probably follow up with the trainers for some minor issues, and taking Sally for professional training later this month. She has already learned to sit and stay and is doing well with crate training. “

Kona FKA Sarah

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Meanwhile, Sally’s much smaller sister is still teeny and wanted to let us know she changed her name to Kona

  Shade

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“Ahhhh, The dog’s life! Sometimes I am a little jealous. Shade has a number of friends. I am attaching a picture of her chilling with a couple of her friends at home. She is a very gracious host, sharing her food and providing extra water bowls for her friends as well as some of her toys. Her favorite, the ball, she loves to run and catch.

She helps keep the kitchen counters cleared off. If we accidentally leave any food on the counter, even if it is in a container, she thinks its hers since she can easily reach it.  I am attaching a recent picture of her after her last grooming just in time for Memorial weekend sporting her summer cut.

The only one to keep her in check is my cat, Bean. Bean loves to watch Shade run and catch the ball. They have become friends, though Bean still likes to bedevil Shade and will every once in awhile, lay down as a blockade preventing Shade from passing knowing she is afraid to pass him.

She is getting better walking on the leash, but can’t resist trying to chase after the rabbits.”

Shiloh

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“Yes we believe we are going to keep the name of our new dog Shiloh. I had thought about naming him after my dad’s dog Virgil, but he seems to respond more to the Shiloh name.

“Shiloh has adjusted very well to his new environment.  He and Mugsy are getting along very well.

We will be making the follow-up appointment with our vet today.  Thank you for the reminder. We will also be introducing Shiloh to our vet in Maine sometime this summer while we are there.  We leave in a couple of weeks and will be there until the middle of October.

Yes, we Will send you pictures of Shiloh as time goes by. We are very happy to have him as a member of our family.

Thank you very much for the work that you do and making sure the adopted pets find wonderful forever homes.

Have a great day!”