#bb homelander

[deliciouskeys]

How about I list a couple of pieces of lore from episode 4 that I really liked: (aka hc-confirmed!euphoria)

- The fact that Homelander has a very negative reaction to being called John (yes, maybe it’s only down there in B6 and those particular Odessa Project staff but it confirms at least mixed feelings about the name being used).

- The fact that he confirms he feels pain, at least when being exposed to extremely painful stimuli

[teastainedprose]

Mark You Pretty (Homelander x Reader)

My brain saw this post and ran with it. Homelander bruises you. 13k words, Homelander x GN!reader (Warnings for bruising, mild Sadism/masochistic play)

The first time Homelander bruises you, it's an honest mistake. He didn't mean to grab you that hard. Not really. Sometimes Homelander forgets how delicate normal people can be. It had been a reflexive thing, snatching you about the arm just above your wrist as you reach over him to gather up the handouts from the meeting.

"Leave it," Homelander mutters with eyes still fixated on the stack of papers set before him, gloves creaking as he briefly tightens his grip on your arm before releasing you. The small gasp you make as you withdraw doesn't penetrate his concentration. He doesn't notice how you rub at your arm, expression pinching up while stepping away. You're another faceless worker bee and Homelander has no time for you. The meeting is over and you shuffle out with the other nameless non-supe Vought employees. His attention is back to the paperwork in front of him, mind buzzing on how to handle the downswing in public opinion on The Seven. You're forgotten as Homelander turns back to the task of being Homelander.

He doesn't even register that he hurt you until the next day. It's the top you're wearing that does it. Long sleeved and out of season, which draws his attention to you for the second time this week. He registers the blooming bruise peeking out from under your sleeve when you bend over to offer handouts about the table. He blinks, clocking the imprint as a mirror of his gloved grip. There's no guilt associated with this realization, simply an understanding of the connection. He did that to you. Homelander marred your pretty skin with a bloom of purple where he grabbed you. Suddenly, it's satisfaction that's coiling in his gut. He likes how you wear his mark.

For better or worse, now he notices you.

Homelander lets his eyes wander up your arm, snagging briefly on your ample chest before flicking across your face. You instantly look away, unable or unwilling to meet his gaze. Cute. He smirks as he takes you in. You're a charming enough little thing. A bit too skittish for his taste, but the bruise he left on you keeps drawing Homelander's eyes back over and over again.

For the entirety of the meeting, Homelander lets his attention wander to you while his eyes roam your form. He's shameless with the ogling and never looks away when you catch him at it. No, he's only further pleased by it. He makes sure to catch your eye as his lips curl up and part slightly, his tongue poking at the corner of his mouth. That gets a blush across your cheeks and you're quick to break eye contact. This only amuses Homelander further and galvanizes him to find further ways to unsettle you throughout the meeting. You are his distraction to make this presentation a little less dull.

The meeting ends and Homelander puts you from his mind once more as soon as you walk out the conference room doors. You're nothing but a passing amusement, something to play with at the next meeting perhaps. He's already letting the image of your blush and the bruise he left on your skin fade from his thoughts before something catches in Homelander's ear later that day as he strides down the hallway.

There are many curious sounds within Vought Tower and Homelander has heard plenty. People whispering secrets across phone lines and into ears. Muffled moans of employees sneaking off to empty conference rooms or even broom closets for salacious rendezvous. The one that catches him now? It's soft, more a quiet exhale with a moan undercutting the sound. He blinks, pausing to look towards where the sound came from. It's your office Homelander finds himself standing outside as he cocks his head to the side. He watches you as you sit at your desk, clearly not thinking yourself observed. X-ray vision lets him watch as you press two fingers into the bruise he left on you, teeth sinking into your bottom lip to hold back that noise. You moan again all the same, your enjoyment evident as your face twists into a brief flash of pleasure.

Oh, isn't that interesting?

Now Homelander's fascination with you ignites. His eyes seek yours constantly throughout every business meeting the two of you find yourselves in now. He's prone to stepping too close and invading your personal space whenever Homelander comes across you, which has jumped in frequency. He even has the gall to hook his pinky on the sleeve of your shirt one day, tugging it up enough to check if the bruise is still there. By then the purple has faded to a duller, splotchy green. His mark is almost gone and Homelander finds he doesn't like that one bit.

The second time Homelander bruises you, it is very intentional. 

He's bolder the second week. Homelander deliberately holds you back after one meeting with a flimsy excuse. Those massive doors ominously shutting close after everyone else has filed out. Now you're trapped inside the conference room with him. It makes your pulse skitter with terror, which is an utter delight to Homelander. He can smell the fear off of you. A heady scent that stirs a primal need within him because it's mingled with your arousal as well. That fact alone has a smirk on Homelander's lips as he approaches you, hands clasped behind his back and under his cape as he leisurely strolls over. Normally, such posture would be non-threatening but on Homelander it's anything but.

It's a terrifying sight yet compelling. Homelander is ever the perfect superhero in looks. Vought's true golden boy that you and countless others privately swoon over in the break room despite his reputation. yet even you have learned that Homelander isn't the squeaky clean supe he's portrayed as. The looming trial only adds further credit to the rumors that circulate about him. Still, it's thrilling, and you may be a little too into the danger Homelander represents. You can't help the anticipation coiling in your belly as you watch him stalk closer.

He traps you there against the wall, shifting as he places a palm flat against it. You stare at his chest as Homelander slides his hand down, lifting it to cup your chin to tilt your gaze up to meet his own. "Er, you wanted to talk sir?" You manage to push the words out, flushing at the tremor in your voice. He smiles and those too sharp canines flash. You shiver, eyes wide as you meet the clear blue of his gaze.

"You bruise easily, don't you?" Homelander muses, his hand on your chin shifting to stroke down your cheek before moving to your neck. Electric heat shoots up your spine from the chaste caress, the leather of his gloves smooth against your skin. His fingers curl around your throat as you feel his thumb ghost over your pulse point. Your breath hitches at the subtle threat but then he's sliding his hand down to tighten his fingers about your shoulder. Homelander digs his thumb in just below your collarbone to the point of pain as he watches you intently.

You hiss in response, eyes squeezing shut before you huff out a sound. It’s not a pained noise. An echo of the sound he’d heard by chance last week. He eases up, a knowing look on his face as you open your eyes again.The scent of your fear lesses, while your arousal fills his nostrils. You like the pain. He smirks all the wider while leaning in to ghost his lips over your cheek. 

"I didn't mean to hurt you." Homelander rumbles out, breath a hot caress against your skin. For the other day or just now? You don't know which he's apologizing for and there's not much time to ponder over that because Homelander's lips are against your own in the next breath.

His mouth against your is Homelander's sort of apology, more for him than you but you enjoy it all the same.

[phoenixtakaramono]

New Threadfic Announcement + Sugar Baby AU Threadfic Update Status

(TNotG’s prologue can be read here)

The one addition I forgot to mention, I probably may or may not drag the Truce universe’s Supe!Butcher & Homelander into the threadfic’s multiverse shenanigans, because why not? It adds a bit of extra danger & incentivizes TNotG Billy to want all of his parallel universe selves to gtfo back to their worlds.

If you want more context details about the threadfics, you can read about them here that I organized for easy reference.

Tl;dr let’s cross our fingers that Twt doesn’t shadowban me because this’ll be a lotta tweets that’ll be tweeted within a span of a few days (I’ll of course screenshot them and crosspost those tweets over here on tumblr for y’all). I’m hoping they do not mistake my account as a spambot when these updates come out 😬

And regarding the next update for Operation Babylon (the Sugar Baby AU) which’ll be posted first:

[xieyaohuan]

Homelander and Madelyn, The Boys, Season 1, Episode 2, "Cherry"

I love how he's trying to be cute for her with his flap down. He was probably standing in front of the mirror adjusting his look, pulling the flap down and up and down again before barging in on her.

[abrubag]

undefined

homelander gets jealous of soldier boy.. and his plight is put to boyband music, to add insult to injury.

youtube

[n0isy-gh0st]

Anyways The Boys s4 has been quite disappointing I’m sad to say

[alsofortheb0ys]

Me in this tee shirt trying to win over Homelander

🧍‍♂️🥛

[inkykeiji]

Ugh the genshin thing is such a mood I eliminated from my tablet and then my friend kept telling me about the updates, characters and ect. And I had to install it again…

LMAO ugh!!!!!!!! i haven’t had any desire to pick it up for literal months and then entirely by accident i stumble across a fuckin ten second clip of him in the trailer and now i’m :((((( like MISSING HIM HAHAHA

idk idk i just,,, i wonder if he has any actual relevance to the overarching ‘plot’ of the game;;; like what are the chances that haitham, or ayato, or thoma are gonna show up again and be an integral part of a MAIN story quest??? what are the chances that they actually matter to the plot itself??? what are the chances that we’ll see them again outside of half-assed events??? but when it comes to mister ajax,,,,,,,, well. he just keeps popping up now doesn’t he?

[dysfunkshunale]

Lowkey proud I've never seen an episode of Supernatural but know Jensen Ackles from The Boys, Dark Angel and Day's of Our Lives.

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

hi hi hello im back with my ‘raidon beef bs!! can i get kieran and mc having some sort of argumentative confrontation when mc first comes to blueberry that almost gets physical before the mc’s alpha koraidon very angrily gets kieran to back off? -🧃

"[Y/n]..."

Looking to Kieran, your eyebrows furrowed at the hateful gaze he was sending you, teeth gnashed together.

You could tell he wanted to desperately say something to you--for having the nerve to show up at his school after what you did to him back in his homeland.

He was shocked that you came to BB Academy at all, before he saw this as his chance to show you how much he's changed and how strong he became. He even permitted you to challenge the Elite Four directly, growing impatient as he was ready finally crush you in-battle.

You, on the other hand, were a bit irritated at this new "persona" of his.

As far as you're concerned, he didn't need to do all of this. He didn't need to be petty and cruel to innocent league club members who don't live up to his standards. He didn't need to dismiss his sister so rudely and act like she once did.

Of course, you feel bad about what happened in Kitakami. Maybe you could've told him about Ogerpon much sooner and let him have a few wins...but this was too much.

Now he was being a straight-up bully. And you utterly despise those types of people.

"You better not go losing to anyone until our battle." Kieran huffed.

"Pssh, like I'd ever lose.." You lightly scoffed, deciding to match his energy.

Although when you looked back at him, you could see a forced grin forming on his face, spreading from ear-to-ear.

It could easily rival a Gengar's.

"Good. I'm not a little kid anymore. And you'll know it when I show you how the best of the best battle." He vowed, turning on his heel and preparing to walk away.

"Kiki!" Carmine gasped in outrage. "You shouldn't talk to [y/n] like that."

You were about to tell her not to intervene, as you didn't wanna see the siblings' relationship fall into further disarray because of this, but what Kieran said next broke the straw on the Numel's back for you.

"Shut it, sis-"

"Look, you can be mad at me all you want. But don't you dare take it out on everybody else."

His scowl deepened as he stared dead straight at you. "What did you say?"

"You heard me. "You stepped closer to him in challenge, fed up with his attitude. "And you're right. You're not a little kid anymore....you're a spoiled little brat who's mad that he didn't get what he wanted. When are you really gonna grow up and stop this charade, huh?"

For a moment he looked genuinely shocked that you're talking to him this way, but then his eyes darkened. "Don't. This isn't some charade. You made me like this-"

"Oh don't give me that. I didn't tell you to act like a bully. You did that to yourself. I was only trying to enjoy a nice trip away from Paldea until you decided to put me up on a pedestal." The words kept spilling out, and you didn't care that he was fuming more and more by the second. "Then you accuse me of ruining your life??"

"Stop it.."

"I get it, you wanna be like me. You wanna do what I can. But at least I don't go around throwing tantrums every time I lose-"

"SHUT UP!! JUST SHUT UP!!" Kieran suddenly turned around, hands grabbing the front of your uniform as he yanked you in close. His eyes were full of rage. "I'm through with being like you...I'm gonna be BETTER THAN YOU IN EVERY WAY!!! AND MAYBE YOU'LL KNOW HOW I FELT!!"

Although his screams initially startled you, and began attracting a small crowd, you tried your best not to show any fear.

But even so, this new side to him was terrifying to witness.

Maybe you pushed his buttons a little too much.

"Get your hands off me, Kieran." You warned firmly, gently grasping his wrists. "This isn't the time or place."

"In case it wasn't obvious, the battle court's right behind us. So it's the perfect place." He snarled. "And since you're so damn confident, maybe we'll just skip the Elite Four and get to the part where I kick--!!"

Before he could finish, one of the pokeballs attached to your belt popped open on its own, and from it emerged...

Koraidon.

Not the one who was your traveling companion who loved sandwiches, but the other member of its species: the alpha, the paradise protection protocol's defender--and now a very pissed off lizard who was able to jump out of its pokeball without your assistance.

Carmine, Drayton, and the other students gasped as it assumed its Apex build and scowled down at the boy, growling.

Suddenly Kieran didn't feel so high and mighty anymore, as he let you go and took a step away. An uncomfortable feeling of smallness and helplessness overtook him upon staring up at the Winged King's hostile gaze, a hand reaching for his Dragonite's pokeball on reflex.

You were stunned this Koraidon came to your defense quicker than the other. It must've somehow sensed the bullying behavior radiating from your rival.

'I guess it takes one to know one..'

The standoff continued for a few more moments...

Before Kieran surrendered.

"Fine. You made your point. The time for our real battle will come." His gaze went to Koraidon, his expression now cold and devoid of emotion. "Don't think you can always jump out to defend [y/n] like this. You'll see who's stronger."

It only snarled in response, while you remained beside it and frowned. "Kieran-"

"Looking forward to seeing you climb the ranks." Was all he said to you before he finally left you alone, the tension in the air still heavy as ever.

"Giiaa.."

"Thanks, buddy." You sighed, smiling a little as you stroked Koraidon's feathers. It relaxed its haunches, putting all four feet back on the ground so you could pet its snout. "Seems you've turned over a new leaf after all."

"Grraah!"

"Yeah..I can only hope he does, too.."

[suekeyyyy]

-The Seven-

Serious:Somewhat single moms-Pt 1- Bolivia flage cape and a black suit .��� _The boys x reader_

-Homelander- John x black! Fem! reader

Summary: Y/n is South America's number one. Hero is in a group called Patina, and she has been sent on a trip to North America. To meet the Seven for a National But her representative wants her to get close with Homelander.

Waning: bad language, Angst, reader being Sexualize.

Set in: it's the plot so don't come after me if I redo it.

@z3r0art

Seva Airlines is the plane that Y/n and her lower Supes know as patina. We're on to make it to North America to meet the Infamous Seven. Y/n didn't really care all that much she had her representative Steve up her ass about this opportunity.

For three months. The persistent Bitch really pushed that it would help with her look as a Hero and get her more Points.

Y/n was somewhat like Homelander, just female. She was just better at pretending to smile waving. But she hated having to smile all the time. It was exhausted. Her smiled and would always fade after the currents fell. Like she had ever smiled ones.

Now her was going to meet the men of America and his side show. She was only somewhat happy to meet Starlight. A new hero So much potential That made fire strom have a little bit more hopeful in the world.

Steve had told Y/n that Vought wanted to have a National Superhero Appreciation. Or Nsh, the plane soon landed on top of the vot building y/n slow stood up and walked out the plane with a small smile. To keep up her illusion of being happy, she could see Ms. Madelyn Stillwell and she big white women smile on her face.

" Patina. The heroes of South America welcome to Vot I'm Madelyn Stillwell." She says,"Were glad to be here." Y/n says as Madelyn walks them into the blinding. She slowly.

and fucking your Secretary kind. " This with be your freedom room. Basically, what im saying is that you can do whatever in here." She smiles she walks out.

Y/n sits down at the head of the table with a smile that makes everyone tense up. " Sit down." She says, and they all slowly sit down.

" So does everyone have something to say. Questions, concerns?" Y/n says," Why the hell are we here? I know that's what we're all thinking." BB says

-BB- Ballon boy. -Jimmy Hall - power: immoral.

" That is a good question. we are here for National super hero day." Y/n says," What the hell does that mean?" BB says," we walk around a bit, help the seven if needed, and just breathe air." Y/n says. Everyone looks at each other, and they agree on how easy it is. " Oh, and hear are your keys." Y/n throws five keys out to her team. " For what?" BB says," Your rooms." Y/n says in a soft tone. " There on the fifth floor." She smiles." Now, all of you go." Y/n says in a cold tone. They all sigh and whisper to themselves about how dumb this was. Y/n slowly turned her head to the side. " BB, what do you want?" She sees him sitting on the table." What ya thinking about, doll?" He says " How to quit." She says.

" You could just retire." He says. With a smile," You and me both know what that means. I go into some cold old room little nowhere to be tested on." He nods." You can start a family. That's what Liya did, and I still see her." He says,

" Maybe. "

•┈┈┈••✦ 🔥 ✦••┈┈┈•

Y/n leaves the room and walks over to the elevators and waits for it where she hears someone walking over to her and the elevators. She looks over to see Homelander walking over to the elevators. " shit." She whispers. Homelander walked up to the elevators, and they opened. "Excuse me." He says y/n looks back." Oh, sorry." She smiles he walks in first.

Homelander slowly looked down at y/n and her outfit. The boob window and her Bolivia flag on her back. Her black suit on her skin was tight and small, mostly around her back side. " Nice ass." He said with a smirk with a look of contempt as he looked at her.

The ends of y/n's hair are set on fire, her hair Indulgeinng in the red flames. " Thanks, I guess. " y/n was creeped out and taken a back. How could he see her ass? He looked at the fire at the end of her hair and then back at her, "No problem." He says."So. Why are you here?" He asks her.

" National super hero's Appreciation Month." She says," So you're a part of Patina?" He asked." Actually, I'm the leader of Patina." She says," Well, it's always nice to have younger heroes as leaders. " y/n chuckles. He was trying to butter her up. He turned his head back to he and then smirke. "So. You can control fire?" " Yes." She says." So. You're like the strongest superhero in South America." He asked her, and he wanted to know everything about her." You could say that." She was trying to keep dry a conversation.

Homelander thought for a second before speaking, "I'm surprised I know of the group Patina. You know most people can't name a single group from South America." He says in a sarcastic manner. As if South America was beneath him, "But I guess you didn't tell me your name?"

Y/n give him a what the fuck look trying to overlook how disrespectful that was. " My real name?" She says,"Yeah, your real name?" He said in an annoyed fashion, waiting for her answer. " y/n no last name. " She says," That's interesting. " he says Try the sound disinterested. "I'm curious. How much is Patina respected in South America?" He said, wanting to see if her pride was big like Homelander's " as much as the seven is in the States." She says.

"Oh, I see. So Patina's just as big down south as we are up here in the States. Is that what you're saying?" He said, trying to gauge y/n to see if she had a big ego" yeah." The elevator stops, and she walks out. Homelander follows y/n and catches up to her. "So. Let me guess, y/n ." He said, walking up next to her."You just happen to have the most beautiful ass in all of South America." He said, wanting to see her reaction to that.

" I thought you dropped that conversation." Y/n says, walking past Madelyn Stillwell's Office.Homelander chuckled and shook his head."Come on, y/n. Who doesn't love talking about a beautiful ass. Especially one like yours. I mean, look at that peach." He said, touching her ass over her suit, smiling while he does it.

She grabs his hand, her eyes turning eye. " Don't touch me." Y/n says her hand, burning his suit arm slightly.

"Aww. Come on, y/n, don't be like that. My hands just so happened to wander over there. Don't be so uptight." He said in a sarcastic manner, keeping his hand on her ass " Oh well, my hand wandered to your face." She slaps him.

He stood in shock as he rubbed his cheek with his free hand. He couldn't believe she had done that. But then he took a deep breath and regained his composure and took his hand off her ass. "What the hell?" He screamed at her."How dare you lay a hand on Homelander. I am the most powerful superhero in the god damn world." He yelled in a scary, intimidating tone at her." Do I really give a shit?" She thinks," Oh, I don't."

Homelander took a second to process what she told him, and then he got angry again. "I am The Homelander. You show some respect. "He yelled at her in anger. He wanted her to beg for his mercy. He wanted to scare her, but she wasn't showing fear. It was pissing Homelander off.

" Oh, stop it, you're just as broken and damaged as everyone else." Earlier that day, y/n Looked at John's File or his life story on a paper.

Homelander grew very angry as he took another step closer to y/n. He was now in her face with the heat of his breath hitting her lips. He looked down at her and took another angry breath. "I am a god compared to everyone else, and you should respect me." He yelled at her with no fear of what she would say in return. He was the most powerful being in existence, and she would not cross him.

Homelander didn't seem to notice the haft Chub he was getting. Was he fucking turned on? " Well, I guess.''god'' has a boner." She pointed out his pants.

That caught Homelander off guard, and as he looked down at his pants, there was indeed a boner starting to show through his pants. "What the..." He began to stammer, looking at y/n. Her face was still, and she didn't give any response."That's normal." He says, trying to change the subject to something less awkward.

" it shouldn't be. You shouldn't get a boner when you yell at me." She was speaking Facts.

He cleared his throat before saying, "Hey, it's common for a man to get a boner when a hot woman is standing in front of him." The words come flying out of his mouth quickly as he realizes he just said what was on his mind."You're hot." He said awkwardly.

That was out of character. " And you got that from yelling at me?" She says. "No, I mean... I just look at you, and it happens." He says with a smirk, he was enjoying talking to y/n, she was the first woman to actually talk back to him. And it made him want to keep talking to her. Something he wasn't used to, he was attracted to y/n, and he knew it.

She rolled her eyes and walked away."Wait! Y/n, where are you going? Don't go, I want to keep talking to you." He yelled after her, not wanting her to leave just yet. She just continued walking.

"Damn it." He said to himself, he was actually enjoying talking to y/n, and she had to ruin the moment for him by walking away."Well, I hope you have a nice night. And by the way. You do have a nice ass." He yelled out to y/n as she walked. "Nice and fat." He whispered to himself as he watched her leave.

A/n: I'm so happy. 😁 thank you for your support. Love you guys.😘😘

Next pt:

[deliciouskeys]

They ask us, "How's it feel to be God's favorite?" I say, "We don't know, we've never known different" I'm seeing red, I'm seeing blood, I'm seeing visions I'm seeing something not too far off in the distance And the babies are dressed up in a big, big man suit Happy, happy people happy to ignore the issue And I know you don't wanna hear it, I know you don't wanna know So don't worry about it, all our names will be in the vote

--I Looked the Future in the Eyes, It's Mine by Sofia Isella

[shima-draws]

Okay, I'm invested into this now! So does Ogrepon!Kieran still go to the BB Academy with Carimine? What about Protag leaving back to Paldea? Does he go with them?

He does! However he’s not a trainer in this AU, it feels a little weird for him to catch and train Pokemon since he IS one lol. Unfortunately Blueberry Academy is VERY battle focused so Kieran doesn’t really feel like he fits in there. The only reason he was admitted in the first place is bc of his strong connection to Pokemon. Everyone views him as a Pokemon prodigy since he’s able to understand them and bond with them more than anyone else can. Ofc again this is because he’s a Pokemon too but none of the humans know that :’) The Pokemon can tell right away of course but all the other trainers have no idea why he’s able to connect with their Pokemon so well.

So essentially Kieran’s kind of in a “special course” at the academy and works with all the Pokemon there. Even so he’s only ever known the academy and Kitakami and he can’t help but long for adventure and to travel outside of his homeland. SO when Juliana comes along and helps resolve everything regarding his past and the Lousy Three, Kieran makes the decision to go back to Paldea with her and transfer to Uva Academy!

I don’t know how strict Blueberry Academy is but I’m going to assume Uva is definitely less restrictive about what students can do regarding the paths they want to take in life. Especially bc of the whole treasure hunt thing lol. So when Kieran hears about the academy and realizes that he can do whatever his little heart desires he gets REALLY excited to go there :’D

[phoenixtakaramono]

The results are in! Thank you all for voting!

The winning vote is:

👑SUGAR BABY AU THREADFIC with 126 votes👑

We will resume the winning 🔞 butchlander threadfic around next week on my Twitter. Expect weekly/biweekly updates there. For my tumblr only readers, I shall do my best to take screenshots of each new batch of tweets and cross-post them here as well. Just be aware I'd only just started sharing screenshots of this particular Twitter threadfic starting from the second N/S/F/W scene (you can read them here on tumblr: 1, 2, 3); so if you're confused why the new updates begin with Part IV, now you know. You are missing the first 🔞 exposition and context of the flirtatious first meeting between Billy and Homelander, but it's fine. These Twitter threadfics of mine exist as interactive threadfics where I can allow my readers to vote on the direction of where the threadfic will go at certain key points; in the future I'll be turning these experimental first prototypes into AO3 long fics after all four chapters of Truce are done.

Threadfic runner-ups (this will be the future priority order of the threadfics I'll also be updating, but only after Truce ch3 is posted to AO3 or if I feel like switching to a different threadfic after updating the Sugar Baby AU for a long while):

FIX-IT AU THREADFIC with 49 votes M3GAN-INSPIRED AU THREADFIC with 29 votes TIMETRAVEL HALLMARK AU THREADFIC with 26 votes

[cult-of-the-placeholder]

Ok usually I go with the idea of the bishops being birthed by some ethereal force of the universe; they came into existence because the raw power of the world needed a master to yield to when the mortals of this world started to develop sentience

But, lately: I've been thinking about them each being just a normal mortal child that was pushed to the brink by some horrific trauma and that's what earned them their crown. Like Kallamar, for example. His family was set upon my a mystery sickness and, fearing the plague, their village cast them out. Now suffering sudden homelessness, they were ravaged by illness and swiftly died, one by one. Kallamar had been feverishly experimenting with varioid plants and herbs for a cure, and only set upon one when it was too late for everyone but him. After stewing in grief for awhile, he takes the diseased, rotting corpses of his family and throws them into the village well, poisoning the wicked people he viewed as responsible for their deaths

He watches from afar as the plague ravagss the entire village, and refuses to share with them the cure he's found. Tells them this is what they get for being so cruel, and that earns the Crown of Pestilence's respect.

The others go through similar trials: after her family starves and tiny bb Heket is forced to cannibalism to survive, she sets fire to the vast fields that blanket the countryside, burning an entire season's worth of crops and leaving vast swaths of people to starve over winter. Shamura's homeland falls to a warmongering fool, and they vow to put an end to the fighting with nothing but their mind. Studying and researching and honing their thoughts, eventually getting themselves taken in by the Lord himself, a famed lecher. Poisons the wine of him and his comrades, and ends the war without ever taking up a weapon of their own. Narinder's family is executed for heresy, and he does the same to the families of the ones who took his, hanging and beheading them. They come together shortly after, Crowns pushing them to meet and form the pantheon.

[inquisimer]

happy friday!! for cousland/alistair - love isn't like it is in the books.

ty for the prompt bb! a bit more implied here than anything else, but I love some Politically Competent Alistair/Cousland :3

wc: 621

for @dadrunkwriting

-

Ember’s hand clenched around her fork at the sound of yet another thinly veiled insult hurled by the visiting Orlesians. Even after they saved the whole world—the Blight never even touched Orlais—even here, in their seat of power, nothing swayed these self-obsessed fools from their own importance.

She took an angry sip of wine, swallowed down a bitterness that hardly compared. But then Lord Bernard opened his pompous mouth again, all gestures and posturing, and she took a deep breath—

A gentle grip fell across her wrists. The scars from Alistair’s sword rubbed against her skin and Ember snapped her gaze to him. He would stop her? He would?

No, he was shaking his head, but there was a gleam in his eye that their advisors had come to fear. Gingerly, Ember unwrapped her clenched fist, one finger at a time, until her fork clattered pointedly against her empty plate. At the sound, the entire banquet table hushed, a few disdainful gazes alighting on the queen.

“Lord Bernard,” Alistair said, as if they’d called the attention on purpose—they had, they were good at this by now— “Since you seem so eager to discuss the profits of our fields, when can we expect a shipment from your lands?”

The Orlesian scoffed into his goblet, but Alistair did not even flush. He held the man’s masked face openly, brazenly, by their standards, and waited coldly for his answer.

“I’m sure I don’t take your meaning,” Bernard said. He took a deliberate, disrespectful pause to sip his drink. “Your Majesty, that is.”

The Banns in attendance grumbled, but their discontent fell aside at a gesture from Alistair. He took Ember’s hand in his without looking and laced their fingers together.

“Ah, my sincerest apologies,” he said. Most would have thought him in jest, but Ember heard the sharp edge of his cunning that waited to cut this posturing fool down to size. “I assumed your Empress would consult her underlings before signing away the profits of their estate. After all, our Throne would never make such a presumption on behalf of our vassals. Seeing how Ferelden is so uncouth compared to your homeland, you can see where my confusion stemmed from.”

Alistair idly popped a chunk of cheese into his mouth and chewed around a pleasant smile. “I won’t be making that mistake again.”

The Banns and Arls raised their glasses and murmured approval as Lord Bernard turned a very pleasant shade of red and muttered something unintelligible into his goblet. Ember squeezed Alistair’s hand and cleared her throat.

“What was that, my lord?” She called, far calmer and matching Alistair’s pointedly civil tone. “I would hate that our new alliance should falter simply because I failed to hear even a whisper of your sage advice.”

The foolish noble flushed even darker, looking the part of a beet that Nan might prize for its rotund hue. He set his goblet down and coughed into his fist.

“I beg your apologies, your Majesties,” he said, face twisting like one who’d swallowed a lemon. “I am…under informed, it seems. Rest assured, I will have words with her Grace when I return home.”

Ember heard the implied threat in his words, whether he intended her to or not. The Game here in Ferelden was a bit less cloak-and-dagger and a bit more knives out, but they played nonetheless. And they’d won this round.

Alistair raised their joined hands to his lips and brushed a kiss across her knuckles; warm affection chased the dredges of rage from her throat and she enjoyed Lord Bernard’s offended sputtering as they moved past him without so much as a dismissal.

“So, Lord Eddelbreck, with regard to your granaries…”