#bc honestly? I couldnt give less of a shit

[single-left-sack]

me adding f1 to my bio doing some kind of clown walk of shame because my neurodivergent ass got dragged into it because of an AU in a fanfic. lord save me plz

[apathyfairy]

me at 13: by the time im 30 i will probably be married and maybe have a kid but for sure i will be living in my dream city and have my dream job. and also a lot of money

me at almost 30: i think i will treat myself to a corn dog this weekend

[ganondoodle]

Hello 👋

Swallowing my nerves at last to send you an ask! I was just wondering, what inspires your designs? Are their inspirations in stuff like movies or games? Or just things you come up with yourself?

i .. honestly its kinda hard to tell, sometimes i just randomly think of something, like some detail, or color combination and try to incorporate that into a design somehow; it can come from anywhere, like the color scheme of a pithaya/dragonfruit is something i have been wanting to make a design with for ages but havent come up with anything good in all those years ;O;

im a very easily fascinated by color, espeically in nature, like sometimes i just stop and stare at something like i froze in time bc i just woooooooooooooah color! i probably look like a weirdo doing that though

its really hard to pinpoint anything specifically, the most is probably .. other artists? i guess? which always makes me nervous bc my memory is shit in most areas of life and i worry myself to pieces whether i unintentionally "stole" an idea and just dont remember and think it was my own, it goes further that sometimes i see something that makes me want to draw a similar concept but dont bc i dont want to 'steal' even if that couldnt be further from my intention (have been accused of that before ..)

that said for my ocs specifically .. most are rather old and have just kinda evolved out of their awkward first iterations (shargons first iteration was a hauro-howl- copy that was really just some human covered in feathers .. another oc was once a hellboy copy but in green- havent drawn nor redeisgn them in ages lol), the biggest inspirations for them is a mix of animals, bonus if you dont see them often- im a big shark, whale and sea creatures in general nerd so i tend to take from them as a priority but always trying to be less directly animal and mostly just .. features that work together

Eadrya is one of the newer OCs- i started to write but then looked at my folders and oh they are from 2017 .., i even made a design timeline for them how much they, and my art, have changed back in 2020, so thats also way outdated now lol (they apparently started as a whale .. thing? its like a pokemon evolution lol)

this is them now (i like this sketch still, though shargons design is now also outdated lmao)

this ones from early 2023 so also outdated now but you get the point

for demons i try to be a bit more wild on shapes and colors while still adhering to the rules of how they work (humanoid form, demon form, animalistic, one element each and more or less made to fit that, 4 arms is very common, look to be bost scary and wild but also something that would make you stop in tracks and stare in awe and fear if you crossed paths)

often times designs just kinda .. happen, i have maybe the idea ok i wanna make something with a white and red pattern also moose or those big horned cows are cool and kinda scary so maybe sth akin to that (though this one is technically a redesign too- its also pretty much entirely different)

for non demons but still non human i go for a much more restrained design, mainly inspired directly by an animal and giving the color scheme a good spin, plus adding unconventional body shapes, like ki'ita is also a good example, her old idea was just orca anthro pirate and just by making the white green instead in her most recent redesign already adds that little spin to it

that can have its pitfalls though, as i often fall into the big arm small head small legs scheme over and over xD

alot of it is trial and error, deciding on the colors can take me hours bc im always searching for my little rule of having one contrast color that shows up in very few places to draw attention to it (like with Eadrya its those bright yellow eyes and thingy at their tail)

and that is all about myy own ocs, when its fandom stuff it works kinda similar though, either in the connections i wanna draw or just thinking it further- like how deities in destiny work also just kinda .. happened like an ever derailing train

like for demise i was at first really just im gonna give him horns bc horns are cool and he got those on the starting mural in the game- so how his hair work? well maybe it isnt hair actually and just unbound energy, im making him a deity too and fit hylias design to his so, yeah, then so how does it work, ok he gotta have a skeleton still, but what if his entire actual body is made up of pure magical energy with its core in the ribcage? with the core in the ribcage >:3c and the scales you see are just like cooled down lava as an armor bc his thing is fire and earth !! the normal blood? is a thin layer of skin imiated from mortals to keep the scales together and flexible so if he ACTUALLY gets hurt hed bleed magic that looks more like lava and any normal blood you see is just the armor- so why does he have a skeleton still instead of being just energy? maybe its gotta be bound to something OH and what if all of the deities started as mortals like a mirror to the trio later on and the gods cannot have direct influence to the worlds so they needed a right hand that is neither god nor mortal but both by killing a mortal by whatever their element will be (demise burned, hylia drowned etc) and their skeleton and spirit is kept but put into a body of magic- OH what if their spirit core is like almost piloting their bodies like a mech in a way bc if youd look close youd see that every strand of magic is actual a hand of their spirit so it makes it more weird and other bc hed be able to reach out with thousands of burning claws of all shapes and sizes like the beheaded forest god at the end of mononoke- SO if hed lose and arm or something all those strands would untangle and rearrange his bones back together-OH MY GOD the whole armor idea works so well for ghirahims dark armor so what if demise had two swords once and lost one and since has forged an armor similar to his own for ghirahim out fo fear of losing him t---

and that all is a process that happens over several weeks and months not rarely while i am drawing something mindlessly and suddendly *have a thought* and omg that makes so much sense-

so "what" inspires my designs? an ever derailing train of thought about making cool thick monsters that arent the evil thing to get rid of for once? cool color schemes? idk it just kinda happens??

[alphaketoglutaricacid]

the way he came real close to one of laios desperate plans while sleep deprived and hangry several chapters in advance.. he really does know laios huh.

my tags got too long so here they are under the cut

Even tho he wanted to sleep he probs was still listening to everything laios has to say. Bc he is Always Listening and Observing

Interesting in the context of how laios wants someone to understand him - to see him as he is but also the ways in which hes afraid of rejection and being seen as less than human but lacking the monstrousness to retaliate and lash out without regret bc then it would be The natural order of things but hell never be a monster he can only be a human being

but i think part of the reason shuro got so mad is bc he was putting all this effort into being considerate and feeling he got none in return. i think he wanted to be seen too! But i think he overlooked how he feels safe enough to express his rawest feelings w laios

But also i think laios was the first relationship shuro did not just let fizzle out at the first sign of interpersonal difficulty. bc lbr in this manner hes a coward. Disgusted by maizuru being his fathers mistress ? Dont talk it out n continue letting her treat him like a child while ignoring her. concerned hien and him will turn out like maizuru and his father—just let the friendship drift apart w time. concerned abt how inutade views her retainership when he knows his father just sees her as an oddity—dont say shit n just stew in it 5eva

passive aggression warrior!!!

Also interesting laios is like if we can make her monstrousness more manageable maybe she can live among ppl…the projection

The part at the end where toshiros like I know his gait from the sound of the bell by heart so i 100% know its him. he was listening the whole time! like a second heartbeat. Very metaphorical for their relationship. its a challenging relationship for the both of them but they dont give it up bc they care about each other.

thats love honestly i was genuinely moved by the interplay of toshiro laios n kabrus relationship. that laios promises hell eat w kabru on his terms even tho kabru wasnt upfront abt the monster thing initially giving him a motive to return. and how shuro gave him the bell as a promise hed bring him back to the surface no matter what. And he fulfills it even when laios leaves the bell behind bc he knows him so well To the surface and live among other ppl.

bc laios whole life he felt like he couldnt understand other ppl and they couldnt understand him even tho he wanted that connection that seemed so easy to everyone else

but thru kabru and shuro we see that no one in the world understands anyone else completely- thats why they enter the story w awful first impressions. As well as like well. Thats probs how laios comes off to other ppl

shuro calls him back bc the two as his peers are like u already have connections who value you (shuro) and deep connections youve yet to make w ppl who will be important to u going forward (kabru) and theyll both challenge and change deep seated issues about themselves to keep their connection w u alive

[stgosupremacy]

MY SATOGOU GOODBYE RANT.

so yeah i said i would do one so here i am. honestly dont know how long this will be so let's get stuck in lmao <33

I'm starting after the 'im glad i met you part', bc i kind of already did a post on that anyway lol (and just wanted to add, in the dub they changed it to 'I'm sure glad i met you,' and Ash says it so soft omg i literally died on the spot watching it ;-;

(headsup ignore the fact some of the images are off a youtube channel i couldn't find the scenes💀)

so i hope this is all in order, but this bit is so so SO sweet when Goh tells him 'thanks for reaching out for me' like no surprise i was literally crying at that point like sgdxkjnfsgf it's so sweet to me that without Ash none of his journey would have really happened, but tbf you could say the same for all of his companion tbh. either way, i am very glad goh met satoshi too omg <3 🥺

theennnnnn this part is Ash just offering some sweet words of advice and comfort, talking ab their dreams ect, like, nothing too bittersweet to see here, but i guess you can say the way he said 'WE' and meant both of them is sweet lmao

OK so on the palm of our hands thing i have a few things to say

first of all i love how Ash knew that he knew what to continue with bc they are just so in sync with each other ofc <3 and OFC they had to put that scene in for the last episode, like when it was in the Mewto episode for the first time, i was honestly screaming of how cute it was LIKE THE FACT ASH MADE THE LITTLE ADD ON OF 'OUR HANDS' IN THE FIRST TIME THEY DID IT JUST MAKES IT EVEN MORE CUTER EJHSKF

but anyways as much as i love this scene because of how 'the future is in the palm of our hands', can be interpreted in some otherways, 👀 I also couldnt help but thing about something else.

after/before the Project mew stuff actually started/finished (pretty sure it was after,) we see a scene of Goh, Gary and Horace using the 'palm of our hands' phrase together, and yeah its rlly cute lmao, but i was kind of hoping it was something unique for Ash and Goh, not trying to be a fusspot, but i think the scene now feels slightly less special to me now Goh used it with some other people?

I mean sure, ash and goh were still the first people who did it, and it IS their kind of thing lmao, like they created it. Even tho it was just an initial thought, it is still really sweet that goh used it with others don't get me wrong <3

when i was watching this i was like no way this is it lol like are you not gonna confess

jokes but thankfully they made a bittttt more to it (and good bc if they left it there I would be sitting there like what)

so they start to walk away from each other and you see Goh is still quite sad while Ash is still holding up, my heart was dying </3

STOP IT WHEN GOH STOPPED AND HE WAS ABOUT TO CRY AAAAAAAAAA 🥺🥺🥺

BUT OFC

OFC ASH HAS TO CALL OUT TO HIM AND THE WAY GOH'S EYES HAVE THE LITTLE SPARKLE WHEN HE HEARS HIS VOICE 💖 The fact Ash actually thought while he was walking away 'oh shit need to check up on the bf' lol and climbed up the little hill to wave him off again is the cutest thing; CANNOT CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE this made their whole goodbye for me tbh 💕💕💕

SUPPORTIVE BROS FOR REAL <3

ofc they want each other to achieve their dreams aww

ok but THIS

the bit where they nod at each other is so comforting to me like it's weird, but it gave me a little more satisfaction i'll say, lmao. also gives you a hint that they are wrapping up the goodbyes fully so it gave me some very brief preparation time 😢

and with that, Goh runs off into the distance.

</3 (my boy has grown up sm) 🥺

OK i do love that when he runs off, he's more confident, and when it switches back to Ash, it has him watching over Goh until he can't see him anymore, which is rlly cute <333 ahhh they're so pure man

Ash runs off to his new journey too, and he begins to talk about Pallet Town to Pikachu...

Thats it

yeah

SOOOOO BASICALLY THIS IS MORE OF THE RANT SECTION:

uhmmm so first things first. Did i like the goodbye for them? Well, yeah, it was quite cute, especially the end part where Ash gives him that last bit of encouragement and called out his name, because SHEESH if they left that part out and gave them that first goodbye without Ash calling out to him, and they just left each other....yeah, i wouldn't be happy.

see, i just kind of thought they deserved a bit better. It was v cute and all, but like they've been through so much together 😭 😭 😭 😭 like I'm saying this as a shipper but still 😂 tbf if they hugged I probably would have cried but let's be honest I could cry at anything at this point

but hey what we got was pretty cute, I just would have tweaked some things because honesty this duo are literally the closest I've ever seen in the anime, and I would have hoped for a little bit more, BUT IT'S FINE IT HAPPENED *mentally counts*

9 MONTHS AGO (??? where has the time gone)

but thank you for coming to my TED talk <33

[transskywardsword]

This is me asking how fi was a replacement for ghirahim and was purposely incomplete <333

(apologizes for any typos, my hand tremors are k i l l i n g me today)

okay okay okay SO--the most divisive fan theory among Ghirahim bitches like yours truly is that Ghirahim was originally forged by Hylia, like Fi, but defected to Demise's side. which i love! but it's so simplistic, and as i have been working on the heroes gate ghirahim chapter, I've been having to figure out his feelings towards those around him, and as such have come up with that theory's needed detail:

ghirahim is first forged for the first hero/first link. hylia forges him with as much power as she can. he is a seriously overpowered blade, because hylia wants to keep link safe. of course she wants only the most deadly saber for him. ghirahim is made to be as human like as possible, because hylia loves her people, loves humans, loves their light and their laughes but also their grief and their rage, their ability to feel. she loves link, and wants to give link more than a sword. she wants to give him a companion. so he's gifted the most powerful, closest to human sword spirit that the surface has ever seen. but-- companion doesn't mean free thinker. ghirahim is still just a sword, expected to follow orders.

but when you give a new being all these thoughts and feelings, set them up to kill from day one, but give them no free will? they're gonna push back. so ghira does. he disobeys orders to instead do what he things is best, he lets his emotions get the best of him, and frankly, he doesn't like the idea of being entirely created just for some guy that he doesnt even like. the leash that hylia has him on is getting increasingly shorter and increasingly tight as she realizes that she may have made a mistake in how she chose to forge this sword. which just frustrates ghira more. he doesnt like link, he doesnt respect hylia, and he's sick of being told how to act. and it's with all these swirling thoughts that demise comes in.

demise, who promises him free will, the ability to act as he wants, do what he wants, with only the condition that the leash switches hands. give demise information, betray the humans and hylia, and demise will gift him free will. and ghira, not even thinking to consider that free will isnt a gift to be given, accepts.

the transfer changes him. he's like those college kids who never so much as swore in high school bc of over protective parents but then got to college and go bat shit off the walls now that no one is breathing down their necks. the ability to do whatever he wants with out consequence as long as he helps demise? gimme gimme gimme. and demise takes complete advantage of this vulnerability. does ghirahim know he's being manipulated? probably. but frankly, he doesnt care. he has a life now, and it's all thanks to demise! swearing allegiance is a no brainer. being made the demon king's right hand is a dream come true. being twisted into something cruel and vile is intoxicating and wonderful. he loves demise. honestly, truly does, and he doesnt care how many people that love has hurt.

moving back to hylia, who is horrified. her choice to forge the strongest blade possible means that demise now has a weapon of insane power, and giving ghirahim emotion opened him up to manipulation. she couldnt let that happen again. link needed a sword, and she knew what she needed to do.

so she makes an incomplete sword. not the master sword, with it's upgraded damage and glittering blade. the goddess sword. short, simple, elegant. link is a strong swordsman-- he can handle a weaker sword. it's worth it if it means this new sword cant hurt them in the wrong hands. then, she purposefully makes fi less emotional, more analytical, thinking that way she could secure the sword's never ended support. fi cant be swayed by emotion, and will always see the importance in them winning. a sword who, in hylia's eyes, could never be a companion. the perfect sword. she doesnt even name fi-- link does, and even using her name makes hylia twitchy. the thought of fi being a person like ghira was practically sends her into fight or flight

fi the perfect sword 2.0. the perfect sword, that fails anyways. fi isnt strong enough, sharp enough, dangerous enough, and link falls under demise's new, love drunk sword. hylia sends her people skyward, sticks fi in her pestle, and as she gives up her divinity, becomes convinced that it was never ghirahim being too emotional, or fi too dull, it was her, thinking she could forge life.

(except, someone, millennium later, does forge life successfully. skyswd link reforges fi into the strongest blade the world has seen, helps her feel for the first time, always calls her by her name, loves her completely with his whole heart, and she never abandons him. ghirahim made his own choice. fi made hers. hylia can only shape a blade, not force it to move)

<333

[beesmygod]

UPDATE ABOUT HEALTH, COMIC, ETC.

SUMMARY: i am still doing the comic at the fullest speed i can, but ask for patience and understanding while i get myself under control. nothing is stopping, but update days might get skipped. if you donate to the patreon for "A Ghost Story" you are only charged for pages i make per month.

ok so. the thing is about whatever is wrong with me:

i legitimately cannot tell if i am malingering, imagining things, or becoming a victim of my own anxiety because the "symptoms" im experiencing are so stupid and nondescript that they could be a consequence of anything from my awful diet to my worse sleep to my lack of exercise to even just being an alive human being. i was (am?) pretty sure most people feel like i do on a day to day because we all live such dogshit lives that fatigue, pain and chronic sickness were just the factors that united us as humans one of these ambiguous symptoms is a rotten tooth sort of pain in my joints. i have always attributed this to being lazy and out of shape and experiencing a type of pain from underuse. it absolutely does not feel like pain from overexertion. it's a deep internal throbbing that is entirely tolerable, but chronic. imagine being at like a steady 3-4 on the pain scale all day. sometimes, it "flares up" and instead of just having one joint a day (usually my hip), multiple joints will hurt much worse at once for about a week. in the past i always thought i was swerving getting the flu and just got lucky. a lot.

bc the joint paint isnt dramatic it never occurred to me to like, look at the places that hurt until recently. are the places swollen? am i looking at natural asymmetry of the human body and ascribing too much significance to nerves misfiring? in my eyes these places are not as swollen later as they are in these photos. i circled the swollen places in some bc sometimes honestly i cannot tell if thats swelling. they are places that hurt at that time and looked weird enough to document.

the only one i know for sure was/is fucked up is my toe/s. which i cant post bc of internet perverts. but the big toe turned cherry red and bloated and ached weirdly under the toenail. but there's a bump on it i can feel that makes it go numb when i push on it. bonespur? who knows. as a kid, my knee once became so red hot and swollen that i was sent home but was told it was bursitis

ANYWAY: i hurt real bad right now, and the worst of this stuff is happening in my knuckles, wrist, and my toes. when its in my hips, knees, and back i couldnt give less of a shit bc those are easier to ignore than my fingers. this friday i ran a low grade fever, slept for 20 hours and threw up my only meal. the first images are from this weekend. i have a drs appointment tomorrow.

please bear with me. the only thing a web comic needs to do in order to maintain any kind of readership is be consistent, and it is making me insane with stress that i am not able to maintain what should be an incredibly easy schedule for an audience that have been giving me the gift of allowing me to entertain them for almost a decade. i am not losing steam, just falling apart lol.

[inkybinkyboink]

urinetown stoner headcanons

it's less than a month to the show and im going fucking nuts. i drove two and a half hours today on a whim. to pick up a toilet seat that my parents didn't need anymore for props. headcanons below the cut >:)

bobby: like i said, he's definitely eaten half a pan of brownies thinking they were normal. he spent an hour trying to scrub a stain off of the side of the amenity until he was told it was spray paint. then he walked to hope's place and started crying about stray cats and how he wanted to adopt them all. he slept for thirteen hours and refuses to admit the incident ever happened.

penny: made the pan of brownies. she does edibles sometimes to destress and decompress and can you blame her? penny on weed becomes the most anarchic, careless person in the best way possible. go piss for free. she doesnt give two flying fucks. the world sucks. commit crimes. just do it. see you in urinetown. bobby once asked her if he could have a raise while she was baked and she said yes and regrets it every single day.

lockstock: listen, ok. i have my heart set on the idea that lockstock is fully aware that his career and position in society is ultimately more of a detriment than it is an aid. i think that knowing this bugs him (arguably). that being said, i think he does smoke, if not for pain management then to fucking forget about how awful everything is. i think the people he's killed weigh on his conscious and smoking a fat j turns that off for a little while. that man will lay on the couch with a bowl of pretzels and watch whatever's on tv until he falls asleep.

barrel: the opposite of lockstock. he's convinced he's helping and maintaining order in society. he likes abiding by the rules. so when he bums a cigarette off of lockstock and it turns out to be a blunt, he immediately gets so paranoid. lockstock has to calm him down because barrel is being SO loud and bro we are going to get caught. like 30 seconds after he calms down and eats something, he passes the fuck out on the couch bc its some strong ass ptsd indica. he very begrudgingly acknowledges that it did make him feel better and that he did sleep well. now, sometimes, after a bad day, him and lockstock share a joint.

cladwell: bro smoked so much pot before the stink years but then he rose to power and imposed laws that made it illegal and thinks he's The Shit for doing it. everyone's fucking pissed he did.

hope: little becky offered her a very special tasting gummy bear once and it was some mad sativa. hope did not shut up. for three hours. all she talked about was how she missed bobby. and how spaghetti was so good. then someone put on cartoons and she was absorbed like an ipad kid on an 8 hour flight.

fipp: would not do weed now but has done it in the past. nightmare blunt rotation. he just talks about politics. and not the good kind. it's terrifying. get that man away from me.

mcqueen: same as fipp but he gets like. scared. i think mcqueen knows deep down that what he's doing is wrong, but he constantly ignores it, so when he's high all that bubbles to the surface and he gets really wishy-washy about what he's saying. honestly i think it would be really funny to watch.

little becky two shoes: rolls the craziest blunts. the tesseract joint isn't beyond her skills. got pissed when she found out she was pregananate because she couldnt smoke weed anymore bc she wants her kid to be healthy. little becky knows where to get the good shit. she's dealing like fucking jesse pinkman from breaking bad.

hotblades harry: same boat as becky minus the pregnant part. they have competitions for who can roll the best joint like it's a cup stacking contest. people bet money. that man has smoked more weed than you ever will. his house is almost constantly hotboxed. hotblades harry more like hotboxed harry.

bonus:

old man strong has taken some mad edibles for hip pain.

little sally is a child so shes not on this list but i will be damned if she doesnt constantly bug lockstock about the funny cigarette she saw him smoke once

after urinetown they still use the secret hideout but it's just for smoke sessions. it's just a blunt rotation. it's comfy now, they made it comfy. they added lights.

[c0smicjayy]

venting and lots of dumb rambling below

i honestly think the way i grew up completely fucked up any chance I have of being able to socialize properly. like?? every year my family and I would move due to just being poor so every school year id find myself one or two people to follow around like a lost puppy so i wouldnt be alone

and ofc those people would never really view me as important as i viewed them? bc after school i was expected to raise my little siblings, wasnt allowed to go anywhere, & wasnt allowed internet access so i was just that shy school friend they didnt know while they were all i had to me

and ofc id accidentally scare them off once someone actually tried to get closer to me, like the time a friend got me a cheap little Christmas gift and it caused me to breakdown publicly in the school hallway (in my defense I've never gotten a gift once my lil siblings were born bc we needed to save up to give them presents instead yk). anyway

idk im just tired of spiraling over dumb shit?? i introduced the two people i talk to the most a while ago and they started dating and ofc they hang out with me less? which is normal but it just fucking BURNS. they nicknamed me the side hoe in our gc as a joke but ofc i couldnt be normal about it and im near in tears over it now

ig i just wish someone would treat me as important as i treat them? bc ofc thats unrealistic as its selfish and unreasonable to expect myself to be the favorite of everyone i know. maybe i want someone to just be obsessed with me? idk really

i just wanna be put first once, just to know what its like, bc im always always expected to do that for others or else im the bad guy. gotta do that for my friends, my family, even had to for my ex fiance bc the one time i didnt i was labeled as abusive

maybe if i was important to someone id view myself as important bc god knows id die before I'd put my own needs and wants first in any situation

[virtue-and-beneviolence]

okay so I’ll tell this to anyone who’s willing to listen but picture this; putting makeup on shuji. It’s a well known fact that he’s a pretty boy and he’d look so good with glitter and eyeliner on his face so when you tell him “hey I’ve always wanted to do those couple vlogs” and he asks u what kind and u tell him that u wanna try slutty eye makeup on him and he’s ALL FOR IT hed never deny you happiness so if putting some lipstick on him gets you happy then why tf not? You set up the camera to record yalls lil makeup tutorial and honestly kinda surprised how easily he agreed to this whole thing like you were expecting him to reply with “sure baby as long as you suck me off afterwards♡” like ok?? But anyways so you’re putting the makeup on him while kinda explaining to the camera what ur doing and he’s such a lil whore bruh the way he’s looking at you with his already slutty eyes as he can’t keep his hands off of u, literally started by holding your waist as you dab concealer under his eyes and as you move towards the eyeliner part u warn him not temper with your artwork as his hands are literally kneading your ass like dough and he goes “whaaa?? baby I’m literally helping you relax wym?” Has a lil shit eating grin on his face and then pulls u onto his lap as u whisper scream at him lowkey and his excuse you “babe I’ve seen you more than enough to know that putting eyeliner is serious business so im just helping you have a steady hand if you’ll sit comfortably it’ll go well duh” at this point you’re not even sure what you’re doing and honestly even forgot about the vlog thing he’s just so painfully distracting who said it’ll be a great idea to put makeup on him being so close? Now it’s time for lipstick and u ask him which shade he wants from the variety of lipsticks you got and he pretends to think for a bit saying “hmnn the same one you got on rn doll” as he holds you by the neck with one hand and pulls you towards him to give you a big and lasting kiss safe to say that the lip combo you applied on your lips so perfectly is now all smudged and half of it is transferred to his smirking lips but you couldnt care less he’s your pretty lil boy<3

Since I'm fully not doing match ups ATM anyway bc of circumstances and negligence,,,

This is gold, fucking GOLD but there's MORE-

OKAYOkayY look. The cat's out of the bag now. Shuji is actually so good at eyeliner okay. He will do your eyeliner. For fun. He will ask to do your eyeliner at 11 pm on a Wednesday night because he just wants to be close and have an excuse to look at your face close up and UGH SHUJI IN HIS GLASSES WITH HIS CONCENTRATION FACE AND MUSSED HAIR IS UGH SO DELECTABLE.

Shuji starts off by very casually tugging you closer by your calves to nestle you into his lap and tucks your legs around his waist. And when you start buffering a little because no one can get used to his cheeky charms istg he puts his forehead to yours, chuckles and pecks at your lips asking if you're ready. He likes to give you interesting looks and you feel the wet liner brush just below and to the side of the outer areas of your eyes and you're confused at first. But when he shows you the final look, he's written a tiny "sin" and "punishment" in pink liner complete with a tiny freehand heart jdkxsmmeckdk

Ugh. Doing shujis make up. Getting your make up done by shuji. Both are also good.

I am, however compelled to share that doing his hair is a nightmare. You've never met a pickier self proclaimed low maintenance man in your LIFE.

[solasan]

WARDEN for cedistair peas

NSFW HEADCANON GAME

W: wild card (get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

alistair's loud. like. after a lifetime of sneaking trysts in dark corners at kinloch, cedany's used to having to be quiet; it's basically the only time she can be quiet, even if she'll still be whispering shit in alistair's ear the whole time that makes him pant. but alistair has woken up half the camp before. he couldnt meet wynne's eyes for a week. zevran congratulated him the next morning. it was very embarrassing for everyone involved, except cedany, who was mostly just very smug.

A: aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

cedany's not used to getting aftercare tbh. or giving it. in the tower, it was usually like... you got out as soon as u finished, just to make sure u weren't caught. but alistair always gets very cuddly and she actually finds she really enjoys that! so they'll often lie in the same bedroll together, giggling or talking or pulling faces at each other, and they'll have their legs tangled together with cedany's face tucked into his chest. even 20 years after the blight, they go right back to that routine hjssdjk.

R: risk (are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

yeah!! or... i think cedany's more game for it than alistair is, but she never pushes him into doing things he's uncomfortable with doing and he sometimes finds a bit of risk exciting. he's also down to experiment! that's how he found out just how much he likes it when cedany ties him to things dhdjkdsk. i think for the brief time they were together after awakening but before his wedding, they probably played around w doing it in risky places too. the library is definitely one of those places dshdskjsd.

D: dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

answered here.

E: experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

cedany's always been the more experienced one; she rly got around at the circle bc she had basically nothing else to do for entertainment dshsjdkjds. alistair prefers that tho! during the blight, he's glad that at least one of them knows what they're doing; it makes it much more enjoyable. when they get together on their calling, they've both slept with other people (her with a few randoms, him with his wife) so they've had experience outside of each other, but she's still got the edge on him. they do know each other's bodies rly well still, even if a few things have changed, so even if he has less experience than her, it's not bad sex.

N: NO (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

cedany's actually surprisingly possessive, considering she's been involved in group sex before and doesn't have any qualms about it normally. alistair's kinda the only person she's felt a real deep & abiding love for, so she doesn't want to share him— especially not after 20 years of sharing him with his queen. apart from that, there's no choking on either end; it makes them both a bit panicky just bc of how often they've been in combat/nearly killed. and honestly i can't see alistair ever domming her dshjdsjk i just don't think either of them have an interest in that.

[hellonpluto]

Spider-Man 3 (2007) during-the-movie notes. They're not actually notes but i'm calling them that bc idk man

Spider-Man 3 (2007) notes!!

-intro pt 3. Loving how since there's like an evil version of him or smth the intro's more dark n brooding. Less reds n more black

-the backgrounds in the intro are more green whenever harry is being shown in the flashbacks!!! What the freak!!!

-spidey swinging thru the cracked glass memories is such a good idea and they did it so well

-OH SHIT THEN IT SHOWS VENOM SNEAKING INTO THE DNA N WEBS

-"ur friendly neighbor-hood.. yknow." YEAH I KNOWWWW

-GWEN STACY???? she's so prettyyyyyyy...

-mj slaying??? Yeah

-peter's so smitten its so cute :]

-thats right it took till the third movie to get a :] outta me

-i would love this scene even more if we didnt see stacy beforehand. Like its so sweet but also. Why

-"your knees were fine 😊"

-they're so cuteeeeeee . What the fuck is gonna happen to them

-VENOMMMMM

-at least i think its him

-why is this man breaking into a home. Do not touch her

-ohh its his daughter

-but still ew

-aunt may is so sweet for giving peter her wedding ring to give to mj. Thats so lovely

-but sadly boy gets yoinked on his way home

-is this one abt harry fumbling instead of peter

-IS HARRY DEAD????

-dna scene aw hell yeah

-wait no is he dusting away

-sand man???

-is he. Ok

-he mustve been a bitch to animate

"YOU TELL MY WIFE--*hits button*--thank you."

-what is going ON with newspaper man

-"Can i just say i really like that shirt?--here, its the crane accident."

-"he likes my shirt 👁👁"

-"does anybody care about what i want?" "I do!!" "Shut up. Get out."

-STAN LEE CAMEO(he speaks)

-NO. NO. NO PETEY NO DO NOT KISS HER

-FUCKING GOD. PETER. WHAT.

-EW

-gwen stacy get out

-peter ur so stupid

-VENOM!!!!!!!!

-new suit moment

-SYMBIOTE!!!!!!!

-"see ya chump."

-subway fight sick af

-bro's mudding it up

-edgy????

-*covers one eye with hair* because tonoight will be the noight that i will fall for youi ...

-NUH UH. SPIDEY DOESNT KILL

-Harry paints!!! Thats so silly!!

-landlord friendship unlocked??

-ok so now mj cheats

-NORMAN YOU EVIL SKANK

-peonies 😔

-STRAWBERRIES????

-oh shit what

-peter evil arc

-hrm

-i hate his collar :)

-HE HAS BANGS NOW WHAT

-newspaper man is confused and worried

-hes so real for that

-THE DANCING MEME

-ewwww peter ewwww

-he can play piano?? What???

-two girls ar once????

-uhm

-holy shit

-he's getting his boogey on

-woahhh woah byddy. Woaht. What. Nooio

-PICK A STRUGGLE PETER. PICK ONE.

-bar fight?

-he's trapped :[

-OOOOO VENOMMMM

-awooooooga

-eddie brock omg

-i love the voice changing and the animation. Im swooning over the craftmanship omg

-EDD???

-OH MY SHIT I WAS RIGHT ABT 'SANDMAN'

-"ooh.. my spider-sense is tingling 😏" eddie are u trying to get it on with mr parker

-bro he even tied him UP

-HARRY OSBORN UR AMAZING

-hand-holding from first movie resumed!!!

-oh my fick i was joking then i gor to the "give me your hand!" Bit. Harry ur not slick

-newspaper man gets scammed by kid(its me im the kid)

-"HANG ON!!" "TO WHAT??"

-parksborn, your honor.

-why did peter moan

-anyways.

-eddie's teeth are now fucked up in civilian form. Nvm

-HARRY NOOOOOO

-harry :[

-ok yeah no i dont like eddie no mo

-i think i just like the venom animation. Yeah

-bro gets fucked up via noise

-eddie just. Killed himself

-what the flip

-marko :[

-MARKOOOOOO

-HARRY :[[[[[[[

-why yyyyyy

-couldnt peter have just. Webbed him up a bit? Why?????

-the throuple is now just a couple 😔

-seeing mj. I think i need to watch the ironman movies to see pepper pots(potts?) and tony stark not constantly cheat on eachother. I mean at least i hope they dont

-good movie, i feel like venom couldve been used a bit better. Very sad abt harry. 7/10 honestly. I think thats just bc im sad, but i liked 2 the best out of the og three movies.

[angsthology]

for the ask game, 5, 15 and 34 🗣️🗣️🗣️ thank you tineee

thank YOU liyah 🫶🏼

what made you start your blog?

i cannot remember when i started this blog specifically for the life of me and i feel like a time period would help me 😭

BUT i know that i made my main blog way before and i did plan on publishing works there but that blog mainly focused on 5sos so i THINK i started this blog for my non-5sos works?? and so far i only have like 2 or 3 works of the same character and 1 other 💀 and i still have a shit ton of wips and drafts of those characters and some others bye i cant finish anything for the life of me

what do you think of when you hear the word “home”?

honestly, my entire high school grade and my hs itself... they mean so much to me. i dont know how i got to this point but they changed so much about how i see life and my memories.

ive never been more grateful for moving cities and schools when entering high school. the contrast between them and my middle school and before is everything. before it was divided by popularity and the entire grade did not blend like booo but here everyone makes sense with each other.

and not just the students, the contrast within the school & educational environment is so much better too i love all my teachers even the most annoying ones — its just so so much better than my school before.

maybe its also bc i went through a lot (personally) in hs and going to school, seeing all my friends really helped esp when i would postpone going home bc home didnt feel like home most times 🫶🏼 theyre just very special to me im going to miss them so much esp now we’re pretty much spread across the country

any pet peeves?

cant even lie i dont remember any of them right now but believe me there is a LOT almost everyone and everything sorry folks it also depends on my mood bc im easily irritated and agitated thats why i often come out as a really mean person but im not i swear im just... yeah

actually i can name one rn: the double standard a lot of this fandom shows... especially when they go out of their way to defend someone who couldnt give less shits about them. — speaking of, i know its mostly a joke, but the phrase (does it count as a phrase? idk) “*insert real person celebrity name* defender” its just... idk if it were a fictional character yeah i get it i do that too but for the love of god real people do not need that they can take care of themselves especially grown ass celebrities stop babying them theyre not special

[malka-lisitsa]

does it ever piss you off that they reduced so much of katherine's story to being focused around all the men she's been with/in love with over the years? how would you re-write her story without that aspect of it, or with it being less of a focal point?

This is a really good question, and a very tricky one considering Katherine at her core as a person is extremely love driven. Her whole desire to live stems from the desire to have that epic love and happy ending. It was that way before she met Stefan as well, we know that from her famous line:

"If we cease to believe in love, why would we want to live?"

Katherine's goal has always been love, so to write that out or as less of a focal point would change her character. After all it's not just her love for the boys that was focused on but how SHE impacted their stories as a whole as well. Katherine was always the great love, everything after 1864 was them recovering from losing her, and then having to deal with that love being back in their lives unexpectedly after their coping mechanisms have already been in place. (Which was unnecessary just pick her it's fine.)

You'd honestly have to give her, her own spin off and focus on what she did both PRE-1864, DURING 1864, and in that 145 years between till the first season takes place. (and obviously her behind the scenes in s1) which would be just as interesting to watch her evolve from Katerina to Katherine. Watching her learn how to survive and how she build her mini empire to stay safe while running from Klaus.

But you couldnt do that justice in just flash backs. It would need a mini series at the very least. Id especially like to focus on her little vampire mafia in mystic falls to. Miss ma'am was RUNNING AN UNDREGROUND in a whole ass town. She is a BOSS BITCH. It'd be like queen of the south vampire edition (the show I mean, her little spin off).

But as I said Katherine is a love focused/driven character, which I actually find to be her best quality. How this 'cold hearted bitch' reputation actually hides the most loving character in the show? I think it fits her well and is fairly consistent bc shes still incredibly calculated, witty/brilliant the entire show regardless of how focused on Stefan she is- her guard is never down. I mean he chained her up in the basement to torture her and he only could because she LET HIM? That's bad ASS. Shes a BEAST no matter what shes focused on.

I just think for all the shit she does for them, and all the people they forgave who are worse than her? Katherine deserved better. She deserved to be with Stefan even if it was a slow burn redemption arc- she deserved to be seen instead of spat on. So I suppose I'm less pissed off that her story was love driven, and more just pissed off that she was treated so poorly despite that.

[pwnyta]

Apologies for my mistakes in advance.

Ok, so, I have a question for you.

Some time ago (honestly, it might have been kind of a long time ago) you’ve been talking about Genshin and how you prefer when the mc is not the point of view character but just someone who spectates from afar while other characters living their lives/stories. Tbh I’m not entirely sure that it was the exact thing that you said, but at the very least, that’s how I’ve remembered it xD

(Not trying to put words in your mouth btw, again, that’s just how I’ve remembered it)

So, my question is: do you not like MCs, like, in general? Like I know that it’s a strange question and that mc from Genshin feels more like a self-insert (I think they get better as the time goes on, maybe they’ll be their own characters by the end of the game lol), so it’s strange to question whether or not you like MCs just based on this one answer, but I was wondering about it so I decided to ask.

I’m not gonna lie, I am (kind of) a main character truther, they usually end up being my favorite characters, and if I don’t like mc, then I usually drop the work as a whole (because I don’t want to consume something that’s going to anger/annoy me, and bc MCs are usually a huge part of the story, I would rather just not interact with the story as a whole. Kind of unrelated, but my hatred for Bak*go forced me to drop mha bc he started to gain more and more screen time, and even though he is not THE main character, I still think that’s a good example).

Like. I hope you don’t think that I’m looking for troubles or anything, but as a person who likes MCs and as someone who would rather drop the work if I can’t emphasize with them/don’t like them/feel like they are NOT treated or behave like main characters, I’m just interested in the perspective of someone who doesn’t care for those characters/don’t like them in general.

Sorry if my message was confusing, I hope you got my point.

Well honestly I do tend to find MCs significantly less interesting than other characters. MCs tend to be the most generic character so that people can relate to them… thats just not how I read stories so it does nothing for me.

Like Naruto (& honestly the rest of his team) I found him (them) largely annoying and was always more interested in the stories of other characters with weirder powers (like Shino) & because I like more minor characters I Guess Im just more tolerable of their absence so long as the story is fun (Shino was probably THE most neglected of class but I stuck through Naruto until it wasnt fun anymore.)

But yeah especially in something like Genshin where Aether/Lumine are both the MC… and nothing really changes based on the character you pick... they arent a real character and what they do doesnt really matter because its just a stand in.

Like if you made QIQI the main character things would inherently change because she is her own character and the world would have to change based on what she might do. Her options to choose would be SO much different since shes a child and a zombie and w/e the world couldnt possibly be the same…. or CYNO would be interesting because hes got such a different temperament and also struggles with discrimination from being a desert dweller so there would even be more resistance... Hes basically got 2 personalities the quiet professional who keeps his head down and the goofy little meme boy who likes puns and YGO thats closer to who he really is and only shows to his friends (who hate it… OMG WINDBLUME IM STILL DEVASTATED LEARNING CYNO IS QUITE WHILE WORKING BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE RACIST AND HE ONLY JOKES WITH HIS FRIENDS BUT HIS FRIENDS ARE ACTIVELY ANNOYED BY IT AND DONT WANT TO HEAR IT…. IM SICK. …anyway.)

You can interchange Lumine and Aether and nothing changes because theyre not a real characters with their own personality so I just cant give a shit about them. The only thing that makes them tolerable is that its pretty clear Aether is supposed to be the main character canonically.

That said I wouldnt completely dismiss an MC just for being an MC…. some are interesting or serviceable enough to be somewhat likable. I love Luffy from One Piece, I like Tsuna from KHR and I did like Deku from MHA at first though recently he just feels like he doesnt matter at all (which normally I wouldnt mind since I usually prefer side characters stories but cutting screen time of Deku and focusing on characters who genuinely dont fucking matter or are terribly written like Endeavor or the side villains whos stories are forced and/or dont fucking MEAN anything… its frustrating. As much as I cant STAND Bakugo I actually wouldnt mind him having more screen time because he IS important to the story (or should be)… same with Todoroki but Bakugo is just a FLACCID and stagnant character and Todo was fucking wasted as Hori somehow thought itd be a better idea to build his abusive POS father without him present… DONT UNZIP ME NONNY. IM SO MAD…).

UM…. yeah. I didnt take offense or anything to the question… I actually love having an excuse to bitch about silly shit like this. Fandom discourse used to be one of my favorite pastimes before people started pretending it was serious business because theyre too lazy to do any actual social justice.

[ventilation4thesoul]

i made this side account to let out all the things i couldnt tell people, or not to the extent i could tell them. and i stand by it honestly, its been an outlet in times of crisis, a cry of help into the void. This time i have a happy vent bc i know im going in over my head, but i feel like on the verge of love with Him. hes such a good person, so genuine and ive never felt so safe so fast with ANYONE. like it was just a hook up, it shouldnt have felt that affirming and sweet??? it wasnt even that good of a hook up!!!!!! but just out conversations and shit, my heart swells every time i get a text from him!!!!

like we only met met YESTERDAY!!!! this is crazy, im crazy, idk if its BPD and hes new favorite person, idk if this is really how it feels, idk IDK IDK IDK BUT I I DO KNOW I LIKE HIM A LOT A LOT

and i dont wanna scare him off with any of this so HJBNASDKLJASJDKL ;Ljswa gd213 7980eupo3de

but.... i just was very honest with him and told him what i think of him- not that i wanna wake up to him every morning and kiss him goodnight and shit bc thats CRAZY- but that i know how hard shit is rn for him, and i told him i want to help if i can and that i cant offer a lot other than kindness and empathy and like blowjobs behind the applebees but it seems to have really struck a cord with him. hes also fucking blasted drunk, 2 4lokos deep plus other drinks so who know

i hope he remembers our conversation, i hope he takes it to heart, i hope he feels less alone.

I JUST WANT TO HOLD HIM AND KISS HIS FOREHEAD AND HAVE HIM WRAP HIS ARMS AROUND ME AND I WANT TO MAKE HIM FEEL SAFE AND CALM AND I WANT TO GIVE HIM PEACE AND SMALL JOYS

and also like our kinks match up so so so so SO well.........

He is kind of the perfect man for me- he is exactly what i was dreaming austin would be, he is just CHEFS KISS

i want to make him feel ok. i want to make him feel happy

FUCK IM DOWN BAD