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#bc i am annoying about them <3
invisiblyvisiblejay · 8 months
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i really wish i knew like. anyone irl who was into house like at all and would listen to me talk about it but alas
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utilitycaster · 4 months
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I'm still thinking about that post about how female characters and especially wlw and f/f ships are treated in fandoms because I got a reply that I deleted on my post about how all the Nein were big shippers on deck for Beau and Yasha that boiled down to "haha Caleb making a tower so the useless lesbians would admit they liked each other!" and it's like. He made the tower to Beau's orders. She had already asked out Yasha, who in turn had of her own volition written Beau a phenomenal, beautiful letter instead of a poem as recommended by Jester. This is factually incorrect and obnoxiously dismissive of a genuinely great dynamic and attributes all agency to a man. When you say shit like this you sound like you are Chat GPT. No new thoughts no time actually spent analyzing a relationship dynamic just "ooh i see a woman in fiction what is the phrase most associated with this ok done onto the next task".
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crystallizsch · 1 month
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hi ian i come bearing angst fuel for the yuusha as twsted elsa (maybe an idea for her possible overblot idk she kinda reads to me as someone whod preemptively isolate in the case she feels...blotty)
(also seeing that art of her playing violin totally didnt fuck me up im still nursing my bruised heart 🥴🥴💕💕)
https://youtu.be/NDldNaEZTt8?si=Wm71pgTltuJLjFvk
^^this is from the frozen musical where they gave a song to elsa to explore her emotional turmoil and it just fleshed out her character so much more than the orig movie (ok i havent seen frozen 2 oops) but just this section here:
Is everyone in danger as long as I'm alive?
Was I a monster from the start?
How did I end up with this frozen heart?
Bringing destruction to the stage
Caught in a war that I was never meant to wage
anyways lmao i jus think the song is neat i think yuushas neat (i wanna see more of her ahehehe i love seeing infodumps abt ur yuus)
-diodellet
(throwback to this “what if yuu had magic” ask where i had a ✨realization✨ and this more recent yuusha lore drop that i gave zero elaboration on 🙃)
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very rough ob yuu design??? idk i came up with it on the spot ;;; and it’s kinda based on disney’s concept art of elsa when she was supposed to be the villain.
evil ice queen vibes :3
also i know the ob monster is supposed to be based on the villain— which is elsa in this case— but lowkey. an ice monster is way cooler.
also also i just realized after i drew this i couldve done a grim/yuu tandem overblot ough 🤧🤧 (next time I'll do that instead if i ever go back to this concept)
(read more below because it got SO long)
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AAH anyways hi hi dio!!! when i saw your ask i went —
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— with this entire post
AAGH HOW MANY MORE UNINTENTIONAL CONNECTIONS ARE GOING TO BE BETWEEN FROZEN AND YUUSHA
i guess watching the movie everyday when it came out when you’re like 9 does something to your brain chemistry (and still haunts you at least a decade later) 💀
but anyways the angst ;;; overblot yuu ;;;;; my brain is rotting and the worms have taken over
also i didn’t even know that there was a frozen broadway musical so im gonna have to check it out later 🏃💨💨💨
(also dont worry frozen 2 is a nice watch for the most part but the way they concluded the characters did not feel 100% satisfying to me 😭 BUT i love some of the songs tho ;;; kristoff’s goofy 80s ballad song is one of them specifically, i need everyone to listen to it)
hfgnnfhfgv anyways thank you so much i’m chugging that angst fuel as i expand more on a possible ob yuusha with another infodump 💪💪💪
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⚠️⚠️⚠️ ALSO IM SORRY BUT mentions of taking one’s own life so please proceed with caution ⚠️⚠️⚠️
i had to reread what my initial thoughts about it bc it was months ago??? and after rereading im just like, huh what was i on— (just that feeling when you just cringe at your old posts ;; but idk i think the insanity/cringe sometimes can loop back into being a genius and the cycle just continues)
anyways i’ve been on and off writing yuusha’s bio and overblot yuu was just at the back of my mind chilling but i didn’t really do anything with it.
but now that i have the opportunity,,,, im gonna go on the magicless route this time bc i feel like I've said all what i thought if it was an overblot due to her own magic.
so uh from what i gather overblots are a mix of overuse of magic + intense negative emotion.
since it’s magicless yuu, i guess the one of the general headcanons around the fandom is that they’ve been too exposed to overblots and then intense negative emotions suddenly just triggered their overblot.
uh anyways onto the elsa parts
Is everyone in danger as long as I'm alive? Was I a monster from the start? How did I end up with this frozen heart? Bringing destruction to the stage Caught in a war that I was never meant to wage
THE LYRICS ARE SO GOOD ;;; i really love how some broadway interpretations expand on the source material
and yeah you're right 🤧🤧🤧— yuusha would try to hide and escape, especially as she overblots bc she would try to avoid hurting people (and like elsa, it'd only hurt others more trying to escape bc of probably how she leaves destruction in her wake trying to make others stay away from her 😔)
(this is a small tangent but i remember thinking about an overblot kalim and i imagine him to be similar, like he would not hurt anyone intentionally in his overblot.)
anyways so the way it would go is that i imagine her friends got fatally injured either because a) she feels that she’s too “useless” without magic to help and wasn’t able to do anything OR b) her attempts at helping to try and prove that she can help without magic made everything worse.
and then she just goes into a guilty spiral then boom — overblot.
ALSO in the song, the way elsa briefly contemplated taking her own life but then realizing there’s no guarantee that would solve anything hnghgh (<- another unintentional parallel to my yuusha lore because that’s actually how she ended up in twst except she did NOT have the latter realization)
there’s this “yuu is dead” theory i’m just using and that the black carriage actually just caught yuusha’s soul after she took her own life from all the burden.
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also some bonus angst context for that violin post :3
yuusha back in her homeworld is raised and known to be a gifted musician. people can feel the life and soul in her music but when people interact with her, they are usually met with an ice-cold (heh) personality.
the dead family member was the one who taught her music and the only one who was kind to her.
there’s always an expectation from her family to perform well and to keep up appearances as to not be a humiliation since anything she does can reflect on her entire family. (also hi, slight yuusha/jamil parallels maybe???)
the way she presents herself also stemmed from an incident as a child when she went apeshit on another kid bc she was defending a friend.
so from then on she was taught taught to conceal don’t feel those emotions — which just unfortunately extended to any positive ones, not just negative ones like rage.
so when she is brought to twst, there’s no memory of her being forced to hold back her emotions so she’s just unapologetically affectionate and open with everyone bc that’s how she really is.
but every now and then, memories of her breaking down haunt her in her dreams or as subtle reminders in the waking world.
then yuusha just goes on her day like she just wasn't reminded of her past.
(unnecessarily tragic lore my beloved, but anyway—)
another extremely brief tangent and bonus -> the two songs i had on loop while drawing pre-twst yuusha
lindsey stirling my beloved i love her music
the songs are such a vibe
her instrumentals in “lose you now” especially makes me feel some sort of way 😖
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for some reason im really feeling the Queer Euphoria in this chilis tonight, specifically: being so ambiguous its hilarious. there is No label to describe my orientation/gender. like yeah i use nonbinary bc technically it fits but also bc the flag Fucks. if asked, my only correct answer would be "Wildcard, Motherfucker!"
#both change on a daily basis#gender depends on vibes. weather. A Cool Art Piece I Saw On Tumblr. a dream i had the night prior. what im doing at the moment. song playin#i use & prefer they/them but really anything is free game For The Bit. i am willing to play pretend and try on different hats!#orientation depends on who im looking at in the moment. like i consistently surprise myself with who i do/dont find attractive#it also happens.... less than id expect. but when it does happen its a very strong Ohhhhhh. Ohoho Hi Heyyyy<3 moment#BUT OH ITS SO FUN TO BE UNLABELABLE#thats not a word! except yes it is!#i take the boxes people try to put me in. i make a sickass fort outta them & add blankets and pillows & paint#there is a drawbridge and a moat. and origami dragons!#its so so fun#but also very annoying on the rare occasion im asked what i am#like! fuck if i know! this is my first time being alive! its none of my business! i have bigger omelets to burn!#its like....#'are you gay' yes but also no 'are you a lesbian' yes but also no 'are you bi' yes but also no 'are you-' Yes But Also No.#again: wildcard.#absolutely unprompted#its like... oh man if i wasnt so squeamish about syringes i could make my gender Soooo Me <3#bc i want a deeper voice but i like my body how it is. mostly. its literally just my voice that i dont like#& facial hair would be nice but also do i want to deal with the hassle that is shaving. no i do not <3#still i cherish the two hairs i have on my chin. theyre so neat#i wish skirts were comfortable. i need a better eyeliner pen. i need more tank tops and a good binder. i want to confuse people#and then like... women with deep voices and men who're all dolled up and ambiguous folks who are so visibly queer-#there is so much to love everywhere and i do not care for the generally excepted/used fences people keep putting up#im ripping up their signs and kicking over the fences. Let Us Roam Free Range#shoutout to all my fellow Idk What The Fuck I Am And I Like It That Way homies. we're so funky#and you're So fucking valid. you don't need a label and you don't need a description. you are so so so awesome and rad as hell
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tethered-heartstrings · 7 months
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Id just like to say that I love all your reblogs of yourself coz I don't know if I missed them or if I forgot those posts existed but everytime I'm like "wow, what a banger" and then I look and it's you who's rereblogging your own posts and I'm just like .....AS THEY SHOULD! THANK YOU!
genuinely read this and it made my day tysm on so many levels <33
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nonuggetshere · 4 months
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GOD I HAD AN IDEA AS I WAS FALLING ASLEEP TODAY
About FaaF naturally
A sad one, TW fir near child death and harm
Involves Xero's attempt at an assassination, or it could be literally just any guard controlled by the Radiance
PK and WL need to talk about something private, and WL looks at the tiny vessel tagging along by her wyrm's side
"Should it be here?"
"It wouldn't understand anything anyway."
"Still, it's...a little..."
He sighs lightly, "Yeah, I get where you're coming from... Vessel, come here."
He kneels down and orders them to sit by the door and wait for them while they talk, says he'll come pick them up once they're done and not to move, then the two go to talk on the balcony and close the door behind them
At some point, Xero/the guard bursts in and attacks PK in the middle of the conversation, managing to take them by surprise and so gets one good swing in before PK darts away and retaliates, pinning them down with soul blades, though he has to keep his wife from killing them on the spot - he doesn't want to be so hasty, knowing they're infected and not themself. He pulls out the sword from his chest and that's when they realise, it's covered in void...
Child harm/near death TW beyond this point
After a moment of shock White Lady, who's closest to the doors, runs out and all her husband can hear is a horrified, heartbroken scream. He feels nauseous, his stomach twisting into knots and feeling like his heart is in his throat as he runs out after her. He sees her in tears, cradling a tiny bundle soaked in void. There's- there's so much void. It covers the floor where he left their child vessel and soaks through his lady's shawl and clothes as she cradles them in her arms.
For a moment he's paralysed, before he just snaps. He flies back onto the balcony, screaming at the possessed guard that he'll kill her, he'll make her pay for this, and he slays them in his rage (something he'll regret and feel ashamed of later), still hitting and screaming at Her well after the possessed person is dead and she can't hear him anymore.
He collapses, panting, near tears, and just gets himself up and stumbles out the door and towards the two, he wants to see how bad it is for himself.
Flower survives, but just barely. They had multiple stab wounds and lost their left arm, if not for their parents immediately healing them they'd be dead. They're barely older than 5, still so very little and defenceless, PK is horrified at how could anyone hurt a baby this young and helpless (hypocrite), even if they're not alive.
They're still on bed rest because that was so much damage and their mother doesn't leave their side and their father only leaves when necessary. They still don't realise Flower's alive and they know they shouldn't be so attached but it still feels like their baby and they can't just leave them. WL spends the entire day by their side, gently stroking their hair and horns with her now permanently void stained hands and softly coos and sings to them
Of course, they quickly realise they ARE alive because no way in hell a toddler is getting this hurt and NOT crying and screaming the second they wake up <3
Which just makes this situation so much worse
#thylacines can talk#faaf au#mentions of child harm and near death in tags too btw#so dont read further if its something youre sensitive to or cant handle rn#i like to write him as more sympathetic in faaf but i cant state enough what a gigantic hypocrite he is#pk: How can you hurt a child?! they're FIVE!#child harm cw#radi: ...dude.#dont make your kid a child soldier but also you cant 'all fair's in war' your way out of stabbing a toddler radi#unrelated tangent but they both suck and god i need to focus some more on FaaF Radi. Ik this AU at times feels like sympathetic PK and evil#villain Radi AU but it's really not. They're both morally grey and while Radi is a bit more. questionable and less sympathetic imo. doesnt#mean shes completely evil. they're both meant to be morally grey and both did equally horrible irredeemable shit that they come to regret#and wish to fix. ik it doesnt come off this way at times because i have my things i prefer to write at times and this AU was always a#relationship dynamic exploration between Flower and all different characters. but neither PK nor WL are by no means forgiven. Most of their#kids range from ''i literally dont care about you you are not my parents dont contact me again'' to ''i hate your guts''#with sometimes an added flavour of ''And I WILL murder your ass if I see you again'' for some of them#(Razor my beutiful wife with unchecked anger issues <3)#sorry if the tags are incomprehensible it is 5 am and i instantly forget anything i write the second i cant read it fully#once i finish writing a tag and it collapses the contents of it instantly leave my short term memory. im not being dramatic btw the amount#of times i have to back out from editing tags to read them back bc i forgot what i wrote is annoying
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hundredowls · 5 months
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silly oc doodle..... ballroom yuri
#ocs#ok so im gonna ramble/complain in the tags for a bit bc i love to complain its mostly not even gonna be relevant to the ocs but anyway ok#yknow that diagram abt art skills thats like ability to see/ability to draw#im at the BAD PART OF IT RN#i wanna draw fanart so bad but then i get annoyed bc the fanart doesnt look as good as the source material GHRG which is a totally#unreasonable thing to think bc source material is drawn by Professionals but you know how it is. Art Hard etc etc complain etc etc#need to do more studies etc etc#i wanna be able to draw really good so i can draw the things i love!!!!! even if its hard and tedious i wanna practise!!!! i love art!!!!!!#dont think about whats easy think about whats fun - bokuto koutarou etc#anyway everyday i am sad i have to sit in front of a desk for 8 hours instead of practising drawing :( i wanna table at a con this year....#but is there even time.....#ANYWAY this is somewhat relevant bc in an effort to be less hard on myself mayhaps i will try draw more oc things so i dont feel pressure#(self imposed)#to make it perfect kjskjkd#or at least not as much#and hopefully get over my brain's tendency to Compare Everything#i have like 3 vague sets of ocs (one less vague than the others ive posted one of the characters from that on my main art blog before sjdks#these two are from the next less vague set there is a plot premise and some side characters too. shdks#i thought abt them a couple months ago but then i watched strictly ballroom w sophie n i was reminded of them again#anyway im not good at coming up w fully fleshed out stories i just like to doodle ppl n think of random connected scenarios sometimes sdjk#i did a mini free online life drawing course in the break n i tried to apply what i learnt here.... i will keep practising when i can.....#well. if u read all the way to the end. hello :) KJASKA#im going to shower....
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imaginarypasta · 6 months
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i’ve been trying to get through hoh for literally like a week now but it’s so hard bc the way my fave nico is treated is absolutely ABYSMAL and i know it only gets worse
#personal#even hazel being like ‘yeah he’s hard to get along with’ or whatever she said#every single non-tartarus perspective has had at least one reference to this#and like i understand the reasons it’s not that it’s that it highlights this issue i have with a lot of the characters in that series which#is that i don’t like them. and that’s so different for me bc i actually usually find that my two favorite characters in anything are the tw#that don’t like each other? unrelated to that dynamic usually mostly but still within it#but that’s not even what the dynamic is yk.#and it’s just the whole thing overall like in the last book there was one part where these two characters who are supposed to be good#friends are separated and one makes a comment about how annoying (or something along those lines) she finds the other which.#i’m vaguely aware of what happens in toa so i think you could argue something about that but read on its own bc i don’t want to make that#argument without fully grasping where her character goes#it just kinda reinforces this… vibe to the whole series that was not nearly as present in the first series of like. really overemphasized#like gender roles/heterosexuality/etc. i can’t think of the word to use to describe it. i’ve seen other ppl talk about the parts that add u#to the whole that i’ve seen but never synthesize them. and it really varies between actually insidious and simply not my taste which is par#of the reason i hesitate to make a full critique out of it. but suffice to say i really don’t like it#with that being said the pacing of this book is really good and i am compelled to finish based on the themes i do find interesting#autonomy being a huge one#but anyway those are my thoughts on it after a few days of a break. i’ve been playing a video game instead :3 but i start work on wednesday#sooo i won’t have as much free time boo#looking back maybe ‘insidious’ is a very strong word for it. i’m talking about like when percy complains about the bag and similar moments
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maegalkarven · 7 months
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Good thing Levi and Gortash become immortals and live for a long ass time, bc with the way these two behave, I have a feeling it would take them at least a century to actually mature enough to have a normal in-depth conversation.
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I’m fascinated about the oc stuff you mentioned! I only recently (within the last year) started creating oc’s so I’ve not really thought about creating images of them. I pretty much just save stock photos and photos of celebrities that resemble what I’m imagining, but that can be a pain. I’d love to hear more tips (as well as hearing about some of your oc’s if you’d like to share!)
A beloved mutual, hello!!
It's cool to hear that you're getting into oc stuff, making up little guys is so much fun! You'll have to tell me about yours sometime! I gotta admit though, saving stock and celebrity photos sounds like a hassle :/ I can't imagine what you'd do for a non-human oc…
If you're interested, I have a ton of picrew links I can share (and obviously I can give you ones with more specific aesthetics if you have something in mind, versus just dumping a truckload of random links on you).
I also really like using Heroforge (D&D Minifugre website) to make ocs (D&D related or not). They update pretty regularly so there's always better options (especially for non-human ocs) and colors for more specific customizations. It's especially cool because if you decide you really like it, you can buy your oc as a minifigure (but you can still use the site/save your oc even without buying anything)! I love free websites :3
Lately, I've been focusing on my batch of Minecraft ocs. I was supposed to join a big rp server, but that fell apart so now I'm just 'writing' it all myself. It's been really fun, and I like being able to build an intricate story and characters from a pre-set template that comes with making ocs within a pre-existing world/ruleset (It's just much easier on my busy brain for when I'm not working on my actual original writing or whatever XP). But because of this, I've also been making full Minecraft skins for those ocs. It's pretty much just pixel art, and I am nowhere near the levels of some of the proffesional skin-makers out there, but I've made some pretty cool stuff if I do say so myself!
TL;DR I am not good at art, but my imagination is very hyperactive, so having some of these online resources has helped a ton in just getting something out into the world. I am more than happy to share site links and answer any questions you have about navigating them if you wanna dm me! I'd also loove to talk about all my ocs more, but I know that can be a lot for a tumblr ask…especially if tumblr keeps eating them >:(
Thanks for messaging me, hope this helped some!
(Also, sorry for the weird formatting of this post tumblr is being dumb and I can't fix it for some reason...)
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daughterofsarenrae · 8 months
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if i put my noise cancelling headphones in i cant hear robin getting into things he's not supposed to be getting into, so really it's like he's not even doing that. he is being so good and playing in the least destructive way possible <3 what an angel <3 he's never done anything wrong in his life <3
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autism-corner · 1 month
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dad wont let me be excited about my new wounds which he attributes to the horrors >:(
#man wont let me be happy.#at least. i think he attributes it to the horrors. yeah im pretty sure#BUT ITS NOT.#genuinely all the wounds i have these days are accidental.#sure. im more prone to wounds but thats just because i have a restless and wreckless soul.#and i am admittedly also. not normal about wounds.#but that is LITERALLY not any different than from before the horrors started. so >:P#sillyposting#anyway *twirls hair* lemme talk about my wound >:3#okay so first one today was while prepping condiments. weve gotta put them in tiny tubs for the guests#and somehow. the pumping hold-onto-thingy. caught the hand-part of the thumb.#which was really annoying bc this was at the START of my shift and bandaids refused to stick (bc high movement)#anyway that one is pretty cool but not. serious.#neither is the next one but =w=b#ANYWAY the next one....#idk i was putting away a glass to be cleaned and. it exploded a little. whoops. no clue how.#but it nagged a part of my finger pretty hard.#so. ofc. blood. whatever. gotta go wash it off!!#i go. wash it off. and then i let the water stream from the same direction i was cut from. and i YELLED.#the water revealed part of the wound that was still concealed from me. namely. the part under the skinflap the glass had created.#so i got direct water into a relatively deep and fresh wound. yayy#we have someone thats in college for like. nursery or summ so she helped me put a bandaid on =w=b how nice.#so!! back to work i go!! absolutely not minding my finger and just going about. but then..... i look down again.#and blood is pearling trough the bandaid. trought the multiple layered bandaid.#back to nurse girl we go. o7#new bandaid and some gauge this time. ok =w=b#anyway yeah not much else but this is pretty awesome rn if i do say so myslef.#i hope it scars but :/ since its in high movement....#idk#=w=b
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cimicherrychanga · 9 months
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btw u guys have to promise to not be mad at me for becoming ur turtle mutual. please
#shut up dave#IM LIKE. NOT NORMAL ABOUT THEM. AND THIS MEANS A LOT TO ME#i nEED a special interest to consume my every waking thought in order to thrive#and after i grew out of homestuck its like i lost my spark its EXCRUCIATING.#what do you MEAN i cant draw 3 comics and 2 full piecesn write 50 page essay in one day every day if im not insane abt some piece of fictio#outrageous!!!!!#and as much as i wish i could. i cant Choose or induce this thats not how it weorks we all know this#i TRIED to make miraculous my next big thing after hs it did not work!!! im still insane abt it! but its the#watching trrailers frame by frame making longass analyses and tracking down the exact car in one scene type of insane.#sure ive made art n comics its still one of the things i was and am more invested in than about 60-something of my other media interests#but GOD then rottmnt hit me full speed. i am FEELING this one. i made art AND the characters i was scared would be impossible to draw#turned out to be. so easy? like i did a great splinter first try and thats HUGE for me usually my first attempts suck#until i develop a personal touch for their design#the style of the show is just sososo good for me. theyre my best friends now. and i INTEND to make that clear to EVERYONE#bc im still feelin lonely!!! despite everything!! and i dont want to!!!!!!!!! and im making it everyone elses problem!!!!#anyways like as i said. ur not allowed to be mad at me. please please. ive always been annoying this is just a new arc#and u have to put up wirh it. or ill cry. thanks.
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baekuras · 2 months
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Tomorrow I need to do an eye checkup in english (instead of german aka the norm) and I just checked if there are any better ways to explains things or tell people what to do etc instead of my basically direct translations and turns out
nope
it sounds exactly as stupid as i already worded it, no special words or better formed sentences around 10/10 school english is good enough (nice)
#txts#i am not excited#bc its always difficult to do specialized shit in another language#AND the person i am examining doesnt even know english and has a translator#so I speak english and the translator translates it over#which CAN be fine#but for finer reactions it can screw things over a bit so i hope thats not the case (:#also my coworker who can also do these in english got salty and decided to not do them anymore bc its not in his job description#which like-great i guess we can all just decide not to do things#like....an eye exam which IS in our job description with no languages specified (:#but then he is also the first to cry about ppl not going above and beyond#truly amazing thinking there#its not even like its truly hard its just annoying to do if the person you examin doesnt fucking understand you#goes for native german speakers as well#some ppl just dont have braincells#'please look at the number 9 in the 3 line'#//begins to read the entire thing from the top again#look-stupidity is not a sin and neither is misunderstanding stuff even if sometimes idek how you could#but also.....pls just actually listen and comprehend the words i am using#also dont suddenly throw out a 3rd or 4th option on a 2 question answer#or dont fucking interrupt me during a question either (:#'alright so do you prefer 1 or-' 'URGH NO THATS SO BAD NO NEVER' 'OR 2' 'NOOOOOO THATS BAD!!!!! I CANT SEE!!!'#yes m'am we are fuCKING WORKING ON IT#RELAX PLEASE DEAR FUCKNG GOD WE ARE LIKE 30SECONDS IN#this suddenly turned into a tags-rant oops#but yeah#pet peeve is ppl fucking interrupting me (: or not listening at all ever (:
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trashbaget · 2 years
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#wrote a fucking poem#because a bitch is fucking feeling things#cue venting in the tags because this is where i'm feeling comfortable to do it right now#a while back i caught the love bug for a friend and tbFCKNh it was the very second time i'd ever actually fallen In Love with someone and..#the first time it didn't end well. long story short: i asked him out and he turned me down but we stayed friends and it actually made us..#grow closer regardless. a little while later i'd realized my feelings were Different and it just came out one night when we were having a..#really deep conversation. and i'm glad i told him because it helped me get over him and we got better and things weren't weird at all. we..#stayed really good fucking friends. now i didn't get to see him for a summer and i definitely don't have feelings for him anymore and i'm..#sincerely happy for him and his now partner. i consider him (and always have) my best friend. (among others but he's definitely Up There..#like no. 2 probably) but way too soon after Talking was summer and we were both farthest from everybody and are both the kind of ppl who..#pretty much don't text anyone except like 2 ppl and we are not one of each's 2. today i got to see him and a bunch of our friends for the..#first time since fucking april and god have i missed them all. but seeing him again kinda fucked me up a second. threw me for a massive loop#i got Weird (neg) and i was NERVOUS as HELL at the start and for a few minutes i couldn't figure out what it even WAS because i hadn't felt.#that way in a long time. and i am not about to catch those feelings for him again because No. i chilled out after like 3 minutes bc i got..#reacclimated to being around ppl My Damn Age again and things weren't Weird (neg) anymore. we talked we joked we sincerely said our I Miss..#Yous and we hung out. with everyone and alone for a bit because ppl had gone out and come back and it was FINE it was NORMAL () and we..#were GOOD. we ARE good. and i don't love him in that way anymore. i love him as a friend. and that love is definitely more intense than with#other friends because we have a deeper bond and yes because i Loved him. but the fact is i don't and it's ANNOYING to react like i still do.#and getting nervous like i still do. and i kept worrying that something i'd do might make it seem like i do and i don't and just UGH having.#feelings is annoying. i've never been able to stay friends with someone after having feelings for them at all let alone INTENSE IN LOVE FEEL#INGS!! like wtf!!! and this is sincerely one of the best friendships i've ever had and i don't want to and Won't. lose him especially for..#this but god DAMN am i not having it right now. and my head's been spinning like a fucking tornado in the 5min ride home and i accidentally.#wrote it out in a poem because the words wouldn't go anywhere when i just tried to brain dump about it because Of Course They Did. because i#can't think about this man in anyway except poetically and i can't write a poem unless it's about love in some degree and just UGH love is#and i'm gonna leave it there because i'm running risk of repeatin myself.#if you read all this i positively adore you and also you need to touch some grass bc reading the vents of internet dwellers is for suckers#i am just kidding i really do sincerely appreciate you and love you very very much thank you for caring#please ignore the following organizational tags:#writing#poetry
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adjit · 11 months
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tag nine (9) people you’d like to know better
Tagged by @misspickman thank you!!
Last song: When I first saw the tag post it was “I wanna know what love is” by Foreigner (shoutout to my baby boy Nova <3 it was on his playlist), but between seeing the tag and actually making this post I did watch that Bad Apple r/place video so technically it’s Bad Apple. I just felt that was too obvious.
Currently watching: Ummm… things I’m in the middle of… My Adventures With Superman. Gotham, technically (we dropped off somewhere in season 2 like a year ago), and also CW Supergirl, technically (I’m only about 4 episodes in and it’s been months).
And then my anime Tuesday watch party rotates through a whole list of them so I am in the middle of uh… Komi Can’t Communicate, To Your Eternity, Bocchi the Rock, Kaguya-sama Love Is War, Natsume Yuujinchou, Witch From Mercury, and Blood Blockade Battlefront.
Also Miraculous Ladybug. Back to watching that just bc I was too happy I guess and needed something to scream about.
Currently reading: I just finished both This Is How You Lose The Time War and The House in the Cerulean Sea (I liked both, would recommend) but haven’t picked up anything new on the novel front, though next up is These Are Not The Trinity Papers. Because it's sitting on my desk now so I guess it's next.
Comics front I’m still working my way through Young Justice ‘98 and Tim’s Robin run, plus currently keeping up with Poison Ivy, City Boy, Spirit World, Green Arrow, and Batman and Detective Comics. And SMOT. And actually haven't read the last TDR, which I was keeping up with (do not recommend, unless you're like me and just want to look at pretty pictures of Tim; it's not bad per se just so deeply middling). I’ve gotten a couple months behind because I’ve been busy with new job and travel and friends… OH ALSO I did just pick up Batman/Superman World's Finest Vol 1. from the library, so that's also On The List (the list is so god damn long).
Current obsession: DC for sure, for better or for worse. I’m sure you couldn’t tell from my other answers on this. (I didn’t even mention the DC video games I’ve been playing...)
Tagging… @milfkon @loisinherlane @domokunrainbowkinz @lesbitchin if y’all wanna do it
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