#bc i really dont like the feeling of obsessing over something when theres not much content to kinda feed the obsession bc

[toytulini]

i made an oc thats at least nicknamed "Stupid" and im constantly thinking about what a power move that is tbh

[luniise-kel]

thinking about how cool and awesome moon stone cassandra couldve been if she wasnt given the world’s worst villain motivation

dropping my whole au / rewrote of season 3 below

uh preface is im sleepy and its almost midnight, so like sorry if some parts dont make sense or whatever

uhh basically, instead of cass trying to like reach her destiny or whatever as like her Main motivation and the only reason to why she Evil and Malicious ive changed it so its more mixed in with her desire to protect rapunzel. i think moonstone cass is cool and i like the idea of her but i really just think her execution was poor mostly because it wasn’t built up as much as it shouldve been.

rewrote cass’s character slightly just so there more empathize on her idolization of her mother, and so when she learns the truth of why mother gothel left her, the knee jerk reaction to blame raps makes a little more sense.

Anyways, Season 3 cass deals with a lot of her issues, i think on the journey to get the moonstone something something happens and cassandra is told that if rapunzel comes in contact with the moonstone she will Implode. Like die. Return to being the sundrop. and cass is like oh fuck, shit, balls, I need to Protect her from Dying. So out of her intense Need to protect Rapunzel she yoinks the moonstone, and (still slightly pissed at raps for stealing her mom but not really she’s just trying to figure out her emotions + rapunzel needs to get away away from this rock) she goes into Evil mode.

Her villain arc is partly fueled by her anger at her own situation, always in second place. her desire to feel love and cherished and important rather than being the 2nd option. However, it is also fueled by her need to provide safety to her friends ,, even if it’s not the smartest choice. Moonstone Cass devotes her entire identify to being the cliche villain, so no one feels bad if like the solution to destroying the moonstone is killing her. she knows that logically the Zhan Tiri is manipulating her but 1. she idgaf and 2. she needs to learn how to control the moonstone’s power so she doesnt hurt her friends.

Tbh boiled now, it’s just cass isnt obsessive with mother gothel and mother gothel leaving her to kidnap a baby because it made like no sense for her character. like instead, moonstone cass grabbles with her identify and place in the world, who she is outside of rapunzel. Also she wants to learn more about her past, yknow, who mother gothel was and is she Worth getting upset over. spoiler she figures out that no, her bio mom sucks booty

Anyways, throughout my version of season 3, cass is trying to figure out a way to destroy the moonstone. She visits Rapunzel often too and pretends to be evil just so she can check in. She angry at her mom but not so much on rapunzel, maybe a little bit but probably more to with simply trying to crave out her identify outside of rapunzel. Same general plot beats happen in s3, but shes more grief driven than anger driven i suppose.

Theres probably a lot i forgot to like, reformulate in this especially w s3 bc i havent had the time to rewatch it and collect my thoughts that well. But, uh, hope u enjoyed. might yap more about my personal gripes with the show and how i think it shouldve been written.

also to add on i suppose, at the end of the series she gets exiled from corona officially, but lowkey comes back to hang out and after like a year every1 is like yeah okay i guess.

[spaloonbabooguuscooties]

You could drink your whole life away and still never get that taste out of your mouth.

half commission for @salempie half completely self indulgent dreck pieced together from our insane conversations abt franke and elka. told myself id finally write a big explanation for all of the dum shit between these two for context so Thats Under The Cut.

so I already wrote some stuff about elka and franke's relationship back in whispering rock so feel free to look at that too . it goes over elkas blindness/‘seeing’ with clairvoyance and how her and franke started talking & all that good stuff

SO FOR STARTERS. a lot of thsi wont make sense without a big breakdown of elka herself. because elkas potential as a character is like insane to me. like just the idea of her in the long run of her life reads as something so potentially tragic; a young girl whos plagued with visions of doom and destined to be an outcast even in her own home for things she cant control and clings to the One vision of her wedding that she thinks is 'happy' even despite the fact she doesnt really love the person in it. im choosing to take the li-po doc as canon here because its funny shes the only one with backstory-

but my fucking god even the smallest look into what her parents are like is soo fucked up to me. and i do think elka especially gets a lot of influence from her mother; its funny how easily you can fit mabel doom into a box just from what elka says about her. knees deep in an avon-esque pyramid scheme and leaning into her daughters depressing ass visions & taking her to therapy at age 11 (which would be good if not for the kind of person you can already assume she is & so i doubt the therapist she has really does her any good. i think they share one). she reads as a very I Am My Daughters Best Friend type of mom to me and i can see elka being a centerpiece of the conversation when she has her Amway Girls over for drinks. wine-mom that lets her kid sip from the glass so she can feel like a big girl type deal.

and you can tell that elka is trying to hard to be too mature for her age even in her campster posts. how she writes letters to nils' mom and exchanges baking recipes with her and that feels like she really only interacts with middle aged women and not really many people her own age outside of camp (like her moms friends). which makes sense shed feel the need to ‘grow up’ early when shes probably had to process so many hard things at a young age bc of her visions.

theres a lot of filling the blanks here of course.

elka obsesses over nils to an overbearing degree even despite the fact he treats her like shit ('you promised no talking' and so on) and she treats him bad right back. she leans onto stereotypical heterosexual ideals like taking care of him and overblowing how Manly and Protective JT is and she admires romance stories like pride and prejudice and it feels like she Projects Soooooooo much of what she wants onto boys she barely feels anything for without knowing what its actually supposed to feel like. and clearly she WANTS that ideal future, a happy marriage, an actual romance- but according to nils even when they were dating she ignored him most of the time, which just seems Very Telling

like shes filling a role, overcompensating for emotions and lacktherof she cant digest quite yet, and it only makes more sense when you know shes had visions of their future together. how could that be bad for her? shouldnt it be like the books and movies? but she doesnt really connect the fact that her visions are only for Doomed futures, and if she does she certainly doesnt show it. Doomed relationships. it's been a part of her family for generations and she isn't turning out much different, is she? i dont think she even realizes thats all she ever sees yet, just that its Going to happen. that it's Her future, and it always will be

and like, her only reference for a real marriage so far has been her own parents, and she already Knows they have an affair, and theyre doomed to split, (and i actually like to think they were in rough waters anyway and elka was a child meant to mend a crumbling marriage but thats a whole other thing) and so without a framework for what an actual healthy relationship is supposed to be like she cant really grasp that her relationship with nils Isnt that and isnt ever going to be. she can only cling to this one happy idea of the future, and thats why she keeps chasing him, self fulfilling the actuality of her situation and creating and fostering the unhappy life they will inevitably live together.

and that bleeds into everything else in her life, of course, because as the years go on, as the visions grow in number it just makes sense for her to fall into the predictability of her life. she always knows whats going to happen, her visions are Never wrong- so why try to change things? shes had time to process tragedies days, weeks, months, years before they happen, shes had time to settle into every crack of her life. her parents divorce, her various break ups, her future with the psychonauts.

“and she's already seen so much of a future with [nils] she feels trapped almost. Like she has to be happy in it or else it just means her life is miserable. And it's a mixture of pride and fear of the unknown that keeps her clinging to the One thing she knows. BUT LIKE!!! She knows what's gonna happen! It's easier to grieve when she's been grieving for years... She wants so badly to be happy, But to do that she has to step into the unfamiliar. And that's more terrifying than staying the same miserable person she's always been.”

and thats where franke comes in— and yeah you Do have to take a lot of liberties for frankes character since it’s basically, like, all the info for her is just that shes a Supreme Baby Dyke but thats enough for me. i think she has protective butch itch in her . on campster shes defensive over other women evidenced in the way she keeps watch over the girls cabins for lili when elton is pursuing her . but shes also eager to please and constantly trying to make kitty laugh and also Very naive. but she tries! and i think it only solidifies more as she gets Older and really gets a hold of her feelings & her powers. this is incredibly franke to me

and i think as they grow older together— because i think franke and elka Do stay friends, both because elka is just pathetic and needs that positive connection even if she doesnt realize it and because i think franke is a very Loyal person & annoyingly persistent if you let her be . and i am also a kitty/franke truther. because kittys also important in this web we weave

because i think franke and kitty stay together after camp, to a point— theres a falling out facilitated on kittys end and they break up, but reconnect, and franke kind of... saves kitty from herself a little, from her strict military father whos love only extends thru finances , from her own stifling future , she drives all the way to bakersville in her shitty van handmedowned from her dad and they move in together eventually . they get jobs at the motherlobe , because it’s a pipeline to a decent job, because it’s whats easy, because franke doesn’t really have a future, because she’s never really been good at much, because shes never had much sense, because franke doesnt really care as long as she can live and help, sometimes, if she can, and because kitty’s there, and because elka’s there, and shes so used to being elkas eyes now and shes good at it. shes good at being the muscle of the missions when her colleagues lack it, when hypnosis and predictions arent enough. she likes it that way.

and elka appreciates frankes company. she listens, shes sweet, she does little things for her that no ones ever really put the effort for before; she likes her. franke is strong and bold and makes her laugh and shes always there but god elka cant let go of that future, of that box shes put herself in, that her mothers put her in, of being a Good Wife to a Loving Husband, of getting married normally and falling into unfailing familiarity. thats all shes ever wanted and shes not going to jeopardize that . not for franke, who may not be a boy but is handsome like one, whos always held her after every break up with nils and the men that filled empty days inbetween.

and elka is too stubborn to recognize those feelings anyway. too prideful to accept a way out. too set in her cycle no matter how much she hates it, her little self fulfilling tragedy of her own making, wallowing in her own doom. she struggles for control of her own life when she feels like every choice has been made for her anyway, she puts up her walls and carefully constructs what people see. but franke was always harder to trick, because while empathy isnt a particularly useful psychic power it’s certainly an inconvenient one. all franke has to do is get too close and all those carefully crafted walls fall apart, and elkas control is gone, and thats all she really has. and she tries to distance herself, really she does, but franke is also too persistent. and elka wears gloves, keeps contact that would make her walls crumble from happening as best as she can, but she cant really keep herself from the brief moments where she feels like someone actually fucking cares about her.

and that slightest lack of control, the need to wrestle it back is why she proposes to nils the next time theres a falling out— she knows how it happens, she plans every detail. and he accepts, despite everything. gets her a cheap ring and it feels like lead on her finger and its nothing at all like how shed thought it to be when she was a kid, theres no feather light feeling in her chest, only that dreadful reality that she cant turn this back. BUT WHAT CAN U DO LMAO

elka doesnt tell franke about this engagement until later, on their way back from a mission. late at night when neither of them can sleep, and franke invites elka to smoke in her van, because its been so long since theyve been alone like that, because elkas been so strangely absent lately. and because of everything, because frankes always so damn nice, because elka hates the feel of the ring on her finger, because she let herself get high alone with franke fucking athens whos always been so good at pulling her apart— the truth of it all spills out and its messy and emotional and she hates it, she hates the life shes made for herself, but franke makes it easier to bare and now shes here and shes so close and god she wishes she could see her smile again, she wishes she could see franke, thats all she needs right now and she cant but she can touch her and she can hold her and for tonight, she can be known, she can let those walls crumble, she can be something else just for once here with franke . she can kiss her here in this van, touch that happiness for just a moment, and forget the future that waits for her outside of it. franke begs her to forget the wedding, to just let herself be happy— and god, she wants to, but it means turning her back on everything shes known and everything shes saw to be inevitable, and franke has never been in her future, so if it were supposed to work out why hadnt she seen it and she cant, she cant take that risk but she can have this, even if its temporary, she can have it.

and just as soon as she gets a taste of it, its gone. after that night, after the missions over and theyre back at the motherlobe and have to pretend like nothing happened (franke doesnt, of course she tells kitty about it, she tells kitty about everything.) but that brief moment together haunts elka every time she sees franke, sees herself through frankes eyes, sees herself in her wedding dress because god its all franke can think about! of course it is! she knows how much elkas destroying herself she knows how much misery shes wallowing in that kiss in the van felt like an emotional punch to the teeth and she hasnt ever forgotten it and all she can do is sit and watch while elka throws herself into a loveless marriage. she can come to her wedding and see the way the bride and groom kiss with the emotional weight of a wet towel no matter how hard elka tries to hide it under a pretty dress and bouquets of flowers and meticulous planning.

and elka resents nils but she cant really hate him, its not his fault, not really. he feels trapped just like she does and his feelings of misery only cycle back into hers . they fight and gnash and wear away at each other and its a relationship thats crashed and burned a million times before elka even said i do. and its inevitable that she falls into her mothers habits, a sip of wine here and there to loosen up, until it turns to a glass, until it falls into a bottle on nights when whatever work nils does runs late.

but franke’s still there. shes always been there, hasn’t she? always trying to play knight, always trying to save her, dragging her home when shes stumbling over herself because god who else is going to do it but her? who else is left to care? certainly not nils. never nils. because franke knows her. because franke pities her. shes always pitied her. shes always known. and elka hates it, she resents it, but god in the same breath she’s desperate for it, she envies it to her very bones. elka is a mess but after frankes done with her she has someone to go back to that loves her. and god what elka wouldnt do to have that. to take it and keep it for herself because shes never ever got to have that movie romance shes always wanted.

so now comes this.

because elkas particularly miserable and particularly spiteful and she needs to get franke to understand, just for a moment, drink with her and get on her level and she needs her there with her no matter how her pity makes her feel. no matter how much it makes her shake with anger and envy and desperation, but god the way franke looks at her, the way she still tries to salvage what they have, the soft, slurred way she tells her that it’s okay but its not okay, none of this is okay, it never has been and she just wants franke to shut up and see that, and if she cant then she’ll show her, she’ll show her all the raw angry desperation, with too much teeth and hands that claw and grab and she’ll know why everyones always said she’s too much.

and she knows this puts her on nils’ level too. that this makes her a cheater, that shes no better than he is now. no better than her father and his affair. but god, she wants to be selfish. she wants to be in control. just for once. she wants to feel right and she wants to feel happy and she wants to feel loved. thats all shes ever wanted. and franke will let her have that, just for a little while, at the very least.

anyway. sorry. sorry for being crazy . this isnt even getting into the shit after the comic takes place . elkas stupid brainworld thag she has to overcome in order to finally be allowed in the polycule and live happily ever as worlds first lesbian divorceman

sorry for all the shit i make up instead of caring about actual characters with screentime . bye !

[genderkoolaid]

How do you respond to people who try to argue against various gender affirming surgeries with anorexic people wanting liposuction? I tried to point out that theres a lot of gender affirming surgeries for cis people who dont feel feminine/masculine enough, but my sister said that those people need therapy too. I feel that there's a difference between trans people and anorexic people but idk how to put it into words, im scared i accidentally made her more transphobic bc i didnt have arguments :(

Good question! It's important to question and critique our ideas of what separates "good, natural desires which should not be changed" from "bad, unnatural desires which should be changed," and I think sometimes trans people are too quick to reaffirm this binary in our attempts to defend transness.

I would say that the difference here is based in anxieties. Anorexia is born out of anxiety- which is to say, a persist concern over something that triggers strong emotional reactions and which you keep returning to over and over and over without resolution. Dysphoria can and does cause anxiety, but you can be dysphoric without having anxiety over it. You can have dysphoria, find relief, and be satisfied with your body, while there is never any satisfaction point with eating disorders. There is always a feeling of "not enough" because the desire to be skinnier is born out of anxiety over what it means to be fat & fatness' place in society (lesser value, moral weakness, medical abuse, etc.).

Like I said, dysphoria can and does cause anxiety. There are trans people who obsess over their bodies being too masculine/feminine because they are concerned with what it means for them to be too masculine/feminine: it means they aren't real, they are ugly, they're failure. And this is why its important for trans people to sit with our dysphoria and analyze it. If you are constantly worrying about your body being "real" enough, no amount of surgery or HRT will fix that (although it may fix many things).

Now, I am generally against any solution thats like "we should stop Those People from doing x because We know whats best for them!" because autonomy is a vital part of my beliefs, and I think that people rarely ever react well to being banned from doing something Because Mother Knows Best. The real goal with, say, EDs, is to get rid of the artificial desire for thinness by combating fatphobia (ah, if only all the anti-ED campaigns out there did this). The same with plastic surgery: I would much rather we focus on dismantling the system that makes people (esp. perceived women) feel they need to make their bodies fulfill the beauty standard, than saying that plastic surgery is Evil and we should stop anyone from ever getting it, because those little people aren't capable of using their basic right to bodily autonomy correctly. When we ban something, what we really want is to change people's desires. But that requires cultural change, and laws don't create cultural change out of thin air. Its like how yelling at your kids doesn't make them more honest or better people, it just makes them better liars.

Given that trans people exist in every society, potentially going back to the Stone Age, even after we unwork systemic misogyny & homophobia, trans people are still gonna want surgeries. So we should just work on combating those things instead of trying to control people's bodies.

[bangtangalicious]

bts smut recs | needy!jungkook

there is something about when our lovely jeon jungkook is portrayed to be a hormone crazy, super needy, greedy, whiny character that is so fucking hot. tmw readers. i know you’ll love these. the hyper-horniness and blatant hunger for sex is so sexy. these are all jungkook x reader 18+ SMUT recs based on this theme. more to be added as i find them!!! 

🔺 = yandere/taboo themes *ALL ARE SMUT

MILF (series) by @koosbabygrl | 🔺 ive read this so many times. like. SO MANY TIMES. this is PEAK needy!koo energy. its so fucking hot i cant even put it into words. theres this mommy kink moment and i CANT get over it holy shittttttttt. also the sequels are GREAT, in part 2 when he has her riding his cock while she does her makeup oh my fucking godDDDDDDD. amazing.

this specific needy!koo drabble by @voidswan | 🔺 i know its not a full fic but its literally so hot i cry. bunny!koo just wants to fuck so bad poor thing I DONT KNOW WHY IM JUST OBSESSED OK the stuttering gets me every fucking time. screams. 

clean up by @lonelyhobi & @scribblemetae | he’s drunk and he feels so guilty abt it but he cant help himself!! god its FEVERISHLY good. he’s all whiny and crying and he needs u so bad and the way its described is so fucking hot. the dirty talk is inSANE. dry humping. fuck. amazing amazing.

thunderstorms are scary by @lonelyhobi & @scribblemetae | same couple, but this innocent needy kook is just scared and comes to sleep w noona and then ends up groping you and poor kookie just cat stop bc you feel so good. he ruts into ur ass and whines and ugh. brilliantttttt. honestly recommend this whole masterlist of step-bro fics from them its amazing. theres also a fun loss-of-innocent taehyung one :))))

training wheels by @fithehunnybee | theres a twinge of like sneaky manipulation in this one which i love. y/n kinda a bitch but she drives poor lil koo up the mf WALL. we have some cumming in pants action which i know you all LOVE hehehehe. also i love that it builds the tension so well with koo getting so desperate and y/n teasing..poor lil bunny

the dark prince (series) by @jkeuphoriadreamland | 🔺 LISTEN. first of all, read all their works bc, chefs kiss, but focusing on the needy koo in this, he DEVELOPS mmkay, he starts off all innocent but once he has a taste oh boy does he know what he wants (its you, btw *wink). poor boy cant see at first but he cant fucking help himself your touch drives him insane. how can you resist? the slow burn. the build up. the teasing. IMMACULATE. 

thank you, baby (series) by @scribblemetae | 🔺 im gonna clickbait you ALL into reading this. its twisted in the best way. a few personal highlights for me are when y/n is wearing the VR goggles and jungkook is like yeah imma just slide my cock in real quick lmfaooo its really hot though. the sort of unraveling of the reader adds to the desperation and neediness of both of their sexual actions. its fanfuckingtastic. each part has a good dose of things we all crave: begging, whining goodness

born sinner (series) by @1kook | OUR GOOD LIL CATHOLIC BOY IS UP TO NO GOOD and its got so much of his POV and the GUILT is so well portrayed and makes the whole thing seem more taboo/intense and its just fantastic mmm. 

forbidden by @googikoo | 🔺 again, i read this more times than i can admit. its not so much loss of innocence and more like straight up NEEDY but essentially sneaky devious lil koo is dating your daughter but, obvi, he wants you ;) 

teeth by @sweetbunnykook | ITS LIGHT SMUT BUT ITS JUST REALLY HOT LIKE I CANT EXPLAIN IT JUST READ IT ITS HOT

and not to be entirely self-serving but in case you want more..i too have dabbled in this genre ;)

touch me wherever

tickle me there 

touch yourself here 

wanna touch you 

soaked n’ slippery

ALWAYS LOOKING FOR MORE!! if you know of any other fics that fit this niche please feel free to lmk!! im always looking for new reads :) this one is for my TMW readers. i know what you like hehehehe ;)

[ganondoodle]

so i sort of half accidentally did the end of totk on monday, i had over 130 hours and slightly over 50% of the game done and did the second to last fight with 3 hearts left and no way to heal but fairies after i gave up multiple times thinking the game might be trying to force me to fight a certain way xD

so im still playing it and am aiming for the 100% but i dont think theres gonna be much more to discover story wise the game is really fun and has a lot of detail and love put into it that you can really see, the music is fantastic as well, some of the characters get more love which is great but the story is … well disappointing but not surprising, especially in its treatment of ganondorf, who still feels incredibly flat as a character, which was to be expected but also … you cant fault people (including me) for faintly hoping theyd do something more interesting tho i will say the end fight is really well done and i cant think of a way to top that in terms of epicness xD

anyway, some unfiltered thoughts and opinions in no particular order (keep in mind i know its viddy game logic uwu but still some things can really destroy the immersion; and also i like to think too hard about the stuff i care about so take this with a grain of salt, i never expected the story to be world changing but i want to remind you that i am criticizing it bc i love this franchise)

--what the hell happened to all the sheikah tech?? botws story gets mentioned a few times but never is it mentioned what happened to all the tons of tech lying around everywhere? if they dismantled the towers for purah to build her new ones around i guess thats fine, but all the srhines? the titans ??? THE SHRINE OF LIFE??? its all gone, esepcially the shrine of life irks me bc the cave is still there and its still called by its bame but its nothing but a cave in a vague shape of how the buidling was it absolutely drives me crazy bc its so dumb?? even if it all stopped working for some reason why would you dismantled it all and even then where did the material go?? why would you dismanlted an neitre building like that anyway?? if you want to have a cave there just have it be half collapsed, if all sheikah tech has gotten useless just leave it there but overgrown?? and why is all of purahs tech still working then? zelda doesnt seem to care about it anymore either even tho shes been so obsessed with it for so long? the titans how would you even MOVE them?? you CANNOT tell me that all this tech that survived tens of thousands of years just went poof within a few years; and sometimes it even feels .. insulting? like you know how much robelo cared for cherry and now shes tiny and just serves as a way to buy fotos for your collection? the fact that the shrine of life is fully gone but the cave is vaguely shaped like its interior and where the bed used to be is a healing pool of water too? like idk if im just insane but it feels like 'haha lol remember what used to be here? get it? the water heals you like the bed in the shrine of life and lol there was the stairs HAHA remember? its gone now for no reason.lmao.' to be clear i like having some mysteries and all but that is just …. so weird? when i discovered the shrine of life i was so taken aback i didnt know what to do, it really broke my immersion, by alot even, it just makes it feel even more like all sheikah tech was replaced by much cooler (tm) sonau tech

--what happend to the sonau people? we only know that rauru and mineru are the last two remaining ones back then but … what made them die out like that? this is by far not as important to me as the issue with the sheikah tech but still feels like a point that could have been mentioned

--as much as i like the open world and how free you are to do things your own way but, regardign the dragon tears i think they should have been locked more behind story progression, i got all of them rather early on and it made it a lil frustrating to play through the other story parts bc you know the truth but you cant tell anyone and everyone around you is acting like a dumbass running after fake zelda while the real one is floating around above you, and i know thats partly my fault for getting them all so early but it still felt like some could have been more well hidden or locked or something since theres no hint to when it would fit to do which one; i expecpted impa to travel to each one but it seemed like she appeared on only a few here and there- additionally i fully expected her to be more important, that she would have an actual involment trying to help zelda undragonfy but that turned out to be very wrong lmao

--why are the enemies in the underground mining sonanium? ganondorf didnt seem itnerested at all in any of their tech, only in the mystery stones (only one too, he didnt seem to want any more of them either) they dont use it for anything? at least the ones on the surface collected stuff they could eat or use for fighting?

--did mineru really build herself a robot body just to fight ganondorf for a bit and then leave? as the last of the sonau, even tho long dead too, why wouldnt she tell their history and knowledge or something and instead if just helping a lil in the fight and then go poof (i half expected purah to be a surprise sage since the spirit one would have fit her i think)

--the zelda being the white dragon plot point lost alot of weight to me when it was just .. resolved like that in the end, i know she spent thousands of years like that and all but it seemed like a much heavier decision that later on felt a little less flat after fidning mineru even tho i felt like i didnt care at all at first bc of the way i found out ,and i half expected there to be an extra mission to try and find her soul again since that apparently gets lost when you do the whole dragon thing, but in the end that wasnt a problem at all, two ghosts and link (somehow naked again) blasting her with some magic(tm) and boom shes back and well and fine woohoo it was a non problem after all i didnt expect her to stay dragon since that would mean the end of the legend of zelda basically, but still it took away alot of the weight of her decision to me? like i get undragonfying her before the end would be difficult since you can get material off of her but still i hoped for something other than boom it resolved itself and i thoguht and worried about it for nothing honestly a post game or even another title where the main focus wouldnt be desstroying yet anyother one note evilest guy of them all and isntead the goal is to bring zeldas soul back and undragon her or something would have been a cool idea tbh tho i know its unrealistic

--did ganondorf think turning himself into a dragon would end the world somehow? did he mean the lil evil goo clouds he spit at you in the last fight to end the world? and how come that he was vunerable to fight? none of the other dragons could be hurt and for an 'immortal' dragon he sure went down fast also how did the stone get back on his forehead? you need to eat it to dragonfy yourself and zelda doesnt have her stone out either (i know viddy games logic but still) (on another note, gan shoving half his arm in his own mouth felt really cursed to watch)

--into WHAT exactly wanted gan to reshape the world into?? only destroying it is such a non reason if you want to rule it? theres nothing left to rule if you kill everything in it?? he just gonna play cards with some bokblins or what -i really wanted to fight ganondorf on the surface, not in his lil miasma incubation cave again :(

--so …. why he evil? are we really doing the and WHOOP suddendnly theres the eviliest guy of the world and he hates your guts for some reason thing again? no tension with the gerudo that seemed to follow him in the lil cutscene we see and the ones that went on raurus side? no actual origin? does he have ANYONE to talk to normally or did he just surround himself by monsters all the time or abadon everyone that once followed him once he got his power up?? you can make any design or fight as good as it can possibly be but in the end its still gonna feel hollow if the character has no character besides evil even the fake zelda wasnt actually him and just a lil puppet made of miasma so even him fucking with people is a little less interesting when he was actually just marinading in his lil goop cave, and the lil hand wink he gives you at phase two can only do so much lmao

--ganondorf is cool and all, but tbh he feels more like the evil miasma goop guy than anything else --why are the old sonau ruins in hyrule so different from the rest? like we know now that they arent actually a civilization from the sky alone but were even in the underground too, and all of their ruins have that blocky white style to it, the supposedly sonau ruins in phirone for example, albeit they share the dragon theme the style on the outside is very much different? and the ancient ruins from the other races dont match it either --are the sheikah descendants of the mixing of sonau and hylians? the white hair and third eye theme would fit to the only alive sonaus we see having white hair (fur?), the literal third eye and their affinity to techonology similar to the sheikah, and zelda having both light and time powers would make sense if its yet another descendant thing, but that would mean zelda was at least part sheikah .. (ngl white haired zelda might look pretty neat actually) but also … it didnt seem like sonia and rauru have been together all that long and no mention or even hint to them having children … which given that both of them die would be an important thing to mention no?

--why cant you do anything with the dongos but feed them????????? i wanna ride them :(

--where is kashiwa????????????????? they talk about him like hes a lost legend

--putting in all the amiibo stuff is cool and annoying at the same time, i spent 5 hours fighting my way throguh the underground to follow treasure maps and found 3 nigh identcal link hats from past games in a row, then two other parts of similar, then two aiimbo weapons and then jsut yesterday another one from a bigger quest that i expected more of; getting the armor sets of past games is cool if you want them but if i did i would have just gotten the amiibos back in botw, my inevntory already feels super bloated with all the new and old armor sets and now the amiibo stuff as well even tho i have like .. half of it all atm (and dont go and argue 'oh so complaining about more content for free???' yes. yes i am.)

--whats with this game and making link almost naked? rauru saving you from death? naked. (annoying) survival shrines? naked. weird teleport to alternate ghost dimension to blast zelda with magic power tm to solve all problems? naked.

--(added in edit) im glad dorephan didnt die!! i fully expected him to have died offscreen or something to make way for everyones favorite fish

--(added in edit) so are definitely other lands besides hyrule if yona came from there, also lol

--the story feels, espeically once you see the last cutscene, very …. uncomfortable to me if dare to think about it more than just taking everythign as its said to you, like … the oh so perfect descednants of the gods(what) marry a normal hylian lady and sourround themselves with perfetly obedient faceless servants of the other races so the perfect and good kingdom tm is born and oh suddendly theres an evil brown man (makign him grey doesnt change the implications, if anything, it makes it worse bc they wont even stand for it and instead are trying to hide it behind uuuuh no no its fine hes blue actally kinda way) from the desert that attacks the perfect good kingdom and king, then he swears alliance to them only to betray and murder da queen right away to get his hands on a super power the perfect and good king held and would have never never used it in a bad way nono and now they need to defend it by all means and at the end woohoo zelda has now again the perfect kingdom with no opposition except the yiga who are (as much as i love them) mostly played for laughs or .. well, evil(tm) as epic and cool the dragon fight was, zelda being the slim tiny white/gold/blue dragon and ganondorf being the evil spiky big black and red dragon and them literally being called white/black dragon feels like wow they arent even trying to hide the black and white storytelling huh (i know its a design trope to the bad be black(color) and the good anything else and spiky vs round and soft blah blah but that doesnt make it any better .. maybe even worse? idk)

the way nintendy was keeping stuff a secret and hinting around so much made me feel like it would finally be a little more nuanced and then it turned out to be even flatter than before and all that secrecy(?) was only to keep dragon zelda plotpoint a secret, something that was resolved no problem in the end anyway (i didnt need zelda to stay dragon but .. it all just lost so much weight the way it was done at the end)

-- (added in edit) master koga is the best character and no one can beat him, the most joy i felt was seeing him again and i am not joking, i wish i could talk to him normally tho without him being able to see through my yiga disguise :( im so glad he didnt die tho bc if he actually went to gan he would 100% be dead within seconds

--(added in edit2) i forgot to mention but was just reminded that link getting his arm back felt super weird too, so really everything that meant major changes got reversed basically ... coool ...back to status quo i guess, couldnt he if he wasnt missing it at least have it be discolored somehow? or scarred? any reminder? zelda too even, could she also have some sort of scar or similar due to her transformation ??

--(added in edit2) so where did the mystery stones even come from? gans and zeldas are gone after dragonfying i guess so ...what?

so in summary, im not eloquent enough to properly analyse all the problematic/questionable stuff and put it into the right words, but these are my random thoughts just spilled out, theres gonna be things i missed, forgot, or gonna think about later, maybe ill add it maybe not

again take it with a grain of salt, the game is still one of the most fun games i have ever played, my problems with it lie majorly in the story, its still very much worth playing!

[is-on-its-way]

my problem with iwtb... I think?

Okay Im not sure Im eloquent enough to meta my feelings on this topic, I also havent seen enough past season 8s finale to really have perfect opinions on this, but from the clips I see on here and reddit etc. I have issues I need to work out…  

There is something about the characterisation of Mulder in IWTB that really annoys me. And please correct me if Im wrong on his motivations. Usually my protest is the mistreatment of Scully. But in this case I think theres a certain mistreatment of Mulder’s character that really irks the shit out of me. 

Firstly Mulder comes off as Tom Brady in this movie. So single minded and stuck in his ways he couldn’t possibly figure out how to live his life without the one thing that he thinks makes him successful or that he lives for. Two things... its the wrong obsession (more on that in a moment) and this is the opposite of where his character has been hurtling since he met Scully so as written it makes no sense.

The thing mulder was obsessed with and searching for since he was 13 years old was solved. He got his answer when he found out what happened to his sister. He was freed from his lifelong quest. He even was ready to give the agent thing up in the s7 finale, telling Scully the price had been too high and she needed to stop. Meaning he would also be stopping, bc he never wanted to do it without her. Sure he wanted to keep fighting in 8 to protect his baby, but they got rid of the baby atp, so Im not gonna get into that rn.

Turning him into the FBI agent ghost of Tom Brady was… a choice. Throwing away the love of his life, the one who believed him, the one who listened and supported him and loved him back endlessly for what? To help the organisation that tried to murder him? No. I just dont really believe it at all, because it's just not believable. 

Secondly, would he maybe have a midlife crisis? Sure. Would he be lost or depressed? I could absolutely see it, they lost a child found out the aliens were taking over earth. Would Scully commit him rather than leave him alone in that house? For sure. And it would’ve apparently been the culmination of the plot line Morgan and Wong had worked towards since the beginning... 

Realistically, he might've been lost for a while with the end of the quest for his sister. I get it, you work your entire life for something and its always just within reach and when you finally accomplish it, you think well what now? You’d thought, you’d held onto the fact that when you got to the top of the mountain you would feel happy and accomplished and relieved. But when you turn around at the summit from the horizon of the breadth of your work, youre met with yet another peak ahead. Some other goal, some other thing that occupies your mind because thats what your mind is used to.

You’re just going to have a really hard time convincing me for Mulder it was searching for proof of Aliens in random magazines, (when he knows there are aliens and they have invasion plans) instead of preventing the 2012 thing, publishing actual papers under his Luder pseudonym, and making sure Scully knew how much he loved her as his family had never done for him, making sure he made Samantha proud and lived the life she missed once he let her memory rest. 

Thirdly he is intelligent, a psych major with alien superpowers, who graduated from Oxford. Would he be bumbling around making paranormal magazine collages a la Charlie Kelly when he ALREADY knows the endgame? Would he be dealing with random cases and helping the FBI who betrayed him and put him on death row?

Or would he be using Marita Covarrubias and his apparent new power to speak to the dead to try and stop the invasion by any means necessary? Would he be combing over Maritas paperwork, medical records, UN contacts, payment histories to find, like all those bees in Tunisia for example? Would he not be having Scully research this magnetite thing and getting papers written about its properties so that when the hybrids make themselves known there would be literature for people to find? or engineering an anti bee-virus virus? (damn those effing bees btw) Would he not be using every power of his beautiful mind to continue fighting in any way he could, fully of the reservation? 

And could Scully then rightly say don’t bring that darkness into our home? Because my answer would be no. Even if she did go back to being a medical doctor (Im going to ignore the surgeon part because its out of character and would take her redoing residency etc. lets labor under the impression she’s a family doctor or ER doctor). They were right about one thing, the darkness follows them, and would still even if they both stopped looking. Thats the show after all.

Would she maybe have wanted a vacation where he could row her to a deserted island in the adirondacks? Sure. Would she be okay with letting an alien invasion happen in 2012 and saying to Mulder stop fighting? No. When one of them quits the other supports and encourages them back to the mission. Thats the show. If anything Scully having the breakdown about that darkness would’ve made more sense.

Anyway my point being, the transition from Mulder fighting for the big picture to him being a sad shell of himself in his hoarder office, telling Scully they weren't meant to be together is... jarring to say the least, and nonsensical. 😔

[caroldantops]

valcarol interrupted mid-play bc carol needs to go save the universe but she was super in subspace and val couldn’t quite bring her out so instead she has to instruct her to go.

‘c’mon princess, that’s it, get your suit on for me honey. you’re gonna go save the world then you’re gonna come right back here to me, you understand?’

she may or may not have been edging carol before she got the call and decided to give her some incentive

she also may or may not have ‘forgotten’ to take out the plug snuggled in carol’s ass.

‘silly me, princess. it’s okay, it’ll be a nice reminder of who you belong to, wont it?’

carol goes off and saves the world and crumbles into vals arms when she returns.

‘it’s okay pretty girl, i know how big and strong you had to be… it’s okay to not be big now, let daddy take care of you now..’

idk the more i think on that scene the more that little!carol is making sense. carol who will only let herself be vulnerable with her daddy and carol who will either be the strongest person in the universe or a tiny baby who needs val to cut her food up and cuddle her at night and braid her hair…

tell me why i was about to give a lecture on dont do this!! as if NEEDING to leave midsession because theres a universal crisis is something yall would have happen

im fucking obsessed. i just. thinking about the intensity of the drop after makes me so emo because theres zero chance this happens without carol having SEVERE subdrop and i think val would go through some domdrop as well. feeling like she put carol in a position where she couldnt fight her best and therefore was endangering her more...

before my very long ramble starts - as far as little!carol goes, im on the fence! i think she'd really enjoy some parts of it and others not so much. i could be won over though im sure. yall know its my weakness.

um this turned into a thinkpiece about valcarol dom/subdrop. sorry.

carol having to go from feeling powerless to powerful and and just the fact that she submits to valkyrie in order to get away from that responsibility that burden only to have that safe space be invaded by one simple phone call that she could hear valkyrie try so hard to get her out of, yelling at fury that he should call someone else up, she'd go find thor herself if needed but no dice.

carol is able to yank herself out of subspace to fight, what choice does she have, shes basically in survival mode at that point and doesnt even really know whats going on until shes landed back in valkyrie's arms. sobbing and grabbing onto her and valkyrie choked up seeing carol so so upset and overwhelmed

valkyrie keeping it together as best she can to comfort carol enough, help her bathe and get her something to eat and clean up any injuries, til carol passes out from pure exhaustion. val making sure carol's fast asleep before pulling away from her in bed and wanting to go for her alcohol stash but she knows carol might need her again so she doesnt want to get drunk so she just goes and stands in the kitchen for a bit, gripping the counter and steadying her breathing and she can feel tears coming but fuck she doesnt want them--

and then she feels arms around her waist, a small still raspy from crying voice asking "hey, whats wrong?"

valkyrie finally crying but that kind of crying you get when youre mad that youre crying and carol's just listening to her ramble about how she shouldnt have let carol go, it was stupid of her to let her run out like that without taking more time to try to bring her up from subspace

carol kissing the palms of valkyries hands, kissing her cheeks and touching their foreheads together. "it wasn't ideal. it was hard. but you did all you could. and im okay. im safe. we're both safe. okay?"

"okay." valkyrie nods and wraps her arms tight around carol.

definitely takes them a while to feel comfortable entering an intense play-space after that. worried about if carol or valkyrie gets called away again. but once they feel secure again they start workshopping precautions to take. slowly work their way back up to playing again, ask other kink friends for advice. come out of it with safety plans and a stronger bond.

yeah sorry i have a LOT of thoughts and feelings about this clearly!!

[astroyongie]

i honestly feel like i was born in the wrong era. either im too old for something or someone or im past the point of being able to achieve something. then when looking at how all these kpop groups are so young yet successful and talented just makes me question why i didnt do something like that.

we didnt have kpop in my school time but why couldnt i have just picked something and stuck with it? on top of it i believe im never going to fit anyones ideal type so whats the point in existing cause no one gonna truly get to know me.

unless i can somehow pass away before im 50 then i dont have to continue to think about all this shit and how i shouldve done better or i shouldve picked such and such a career and i shouldve tried to put myself out there more but in my age theres really nothing out there to seek when its all handed to younger generations.

and i would want to have my own success based on my own effort but have fallen short in so many ways its impossible to not find something i could do about it bc im too far behind and it does get to a point where you think that it is too late bc in order to gain any talent you have to have done it from a young age.

i dont want to rely on someone else to do it for me but i couldnt do it myself due to personal situations. yet i feel like thats an excuse cause once again all these young idols seem to be ro have something about them that makes their life a success. like yes the end inudstry is far from perfect but thats what people have been seeking themselves so it cant all be that bad all the time for them if these groups including older age groups have went out got success and even they get all the benefits of the super rich lifestyle but at the same time money doesnt bring true happiness and it seems a very shallow way they live sometimes, they have a supply and demand contract with their audiences and rely so much on social media which although i use it im not attached to it and i cant relate to obsessing over latest dance trend. i also want to stop the woe is me narrative but its really fucking hard to not feel so ashamed, behind or negative about things.

the most advice people gove is bog standard like if ur bored, go out more but its hard not to feel left out, if ur loney go find someone, if u dont have an income go get a job its literally never that simple. even in education you still have to pay for it as an adult meaning you have to already have a job but even then theres still means of you getting misjudged for your age and classmates have already done that to me before it wasnt that fun. its like saying to someone depressed to go take medicine to take away the feeling.

idk what im doing anymore besides waiting to randomly pass away so i can be done with this shite. sorry for ranting so much but idk who else to speak too bc no one else never seems to understand my frustrations with the way things have panned out.

Comparing yourself to others people archievement is the worst thing you can do. because we are all different, we all go through different shits (just like you rightfully said) and not all of us have the same opportunities presented. beating yourself up for that is a cruel thing to do wishing yourself.

It does also seem like you struggle a lot with self worth, self love and that is probably because never once someone complimented you for the things that you have achieve (to this point were you believe you havent achieved anything).

Love, hatred that you carry is a motivator, and you need to accept one thing. as long as you are breathing nothing is to late to archive, as long as you are here you should be kinder to yourself. because why are you comparing yourself to idols? I often say this here but when was it the last time you appreciated life? when was the last time you went out, stared at the ocean, at the night sky, breathed into a forest, when was the last time you felt a sense of peace? seek that out. dwelling on what we could have been is cruel hun, and not helping you in any kind <3

its okay to rant, dont worry, I hope I dont sound to harsh either, its just that I pains me seeing you guys going through so much suffering when I promise you all, darkness cannot live without light. just find your way back to it, often you dont need a big reason. sometimes the most tiny thing can be a source of happiness, seek yours !

[pressedink]

hi it's me back again (shadys back tell your friends (idek ignore me)) so i just read the new chapter and i think i might die. literally SOBBING

i knew they were probably gonna kiss but i was reallyyy hoping they wouldn't. i actually screamed and had to put my phone down when they did i don't think ill ever recover from this

ik i've said it before but i absolutely LOVE this fic so here r some things from that chapter that made me scream :)

"Barty is obsessed with it. He needs to book a tattoo appointment immediately." literally screaming barty would def be the type to get things like that, he'd have so many tattoos dedicated to evan that evan wouldnt evan know of all of them😭

"Because friends is what Evan wants" no it's not u oblivious idiot

"...that loving Evan Rosier is something he can control. But it isn’t. It never has been." i'm fucking screaming i love them sm😭

"Oh god, Barty's struck with a sudden deeply upsetting thought: he’s acting like James Potter. Barty physcically recoils" STOP THIS MADE ME LAUGH SO HARD😭

"Evan was the first person who made him feel like he was truly loved. How could he stop himself from falling in love with him?" stop i'm gonna cry😭

"Evan just kissed him. They kissed. They have less than 4 hours left, and then they can never see each other again." oh wow isnt that fun. i'm going to kms/hj

PLEASE TELL ME THERES A HAPPY ENDING I DONT THINK ILL SURVIVE IF THERE ISNT😭

there's like. so many other scenes i loved loved loved (and made me scream ofc) but i'd probably end of pasting almost the entire thing if i added literally everything😭

hello Eminem! thank you for gracing my tumblr inbox. had no idea you were a Marauders stan tbh but welcome!!

lmao HI WELCOME BACK TY FOR ANOTHER ASK THAT'S MAKING ME BLUSH AND SMILE AND GAH

it's the way i almost didn't have them kiss too. i was fully prepared to just let them hash it out without the tiny little added complication of you know, never being able to see each other again, but where's the fun in that?

you're so right about Barty and his tattoos, like every single one is about Evan whether he knows it or not and Barty will just make shit up to make them connect like 'oh this frog riding a motorcycle? Evan's eyes sometimes have a little bit of frog green in them' or 'yeah my Fruit Loops Toucan Sam tattoo? Evan's fruity and hates cereal'

Evan isn't really giving Barty a ton of clues to be so real, like yes he's being oblivious and literally has now stated he understands Evan doesn't ask for what he wants ever so why would he lie and pretend he wants Barty now? but that's the key point: Barty thinks Evan wants him, not loves him. he's in denial because yes Evan loves him as a friend but how could he ever love him more than that?

James Potter as both Barty and Evan's standard of 'yeah, i've done something wrong here' is SO real and i love that they both just silently use him in their heads without voicing it out loud to each other

i can't confirm or deny a happy ending (bc again i ask, whereee is the fun in that?) but i can say [redacted] >:)

you're a star, light of my life, my favorite tumblr human. thank you so much for taking the time to not only read but hop over to tumblr and rap in my inbox :,) i'm honored, and hope you have the best day!! take care my friend <3

[k1rameki]

THE TIME HAS COME EVERYONE. ITS TIME TO TALK ABOUT MY EXTENSIVE LIST OF TABI HEADCANONS (hcs are under the cut plus this also counts as a little debrief of his human design bc jesus christ i put so much effort into making this man's design it went through a LOT of trial and error before settling on what i got now considering ive gradually made him less and less "human")

also quick thing b4 i proceed – please please PLEASE ask before making things w my tabi design bc ive seen a rlly cool papercraft made w/o my knowledge and that was kinda sucky so ya thats around it (other than the basics of no nsfw and such)

APPEARANCE HCS

first and foremost — hes half japanese because i remember his aside counterpart being japanese iirc and i thought that was really cool and wanted to implement that into my own little hc (also he speaks like a dozen languages bc of another thing i'll go into detail with in a bit

so many different facial features, scarring (theres a very elaborate reason for this tbh), moles, freckles, etc all bc why not?? (freckles is primarily bc of my bestie crow and now im obsessed)

lashes bc why not, give every man a pair of lashes i think theyre pretty

PIERCINGS. so many piercings. this is primarily because i am a very firm believer that tabi gets piercings done because he wants to feel human again so he finds comfort in decorating himself as much as possible for that reason and also the aesthetic

broken horn bc of the mod events, damage beyond repair and whatnot

HE HAS LONG HAIR BC I SAID SO ‼️‼️ i figured considering he's been invisible for so long he never really knew what to do when it came to cutting his hair, so eventually it grew out to around his waist, and he kept that hairstyle ever since (he prefers wearing his hair in a ponytail or smth bc sensory issues when it comes to hair touching his skin)

a lot of tater's hcs infected my brain hehehehehe especially the tail and his hands still being what they were when they were cursed (also. paw beans. /vpos)

HES TRANS ‼️‼️ hes also very dumb and has very little regard for his health and forgets to take his binder off a lot (trust me he gets scolded a lot for that)

GENERAL HCS

hes autistic and has adhd — the autism hc i lowkey stole from crow but the adhd hc ive had for a long long while now — one of his lifelong special interests is performing arts and musicals

chronic insomniac — sleep? never heard of her

plays like 5 different instruments but primarily specialises in piano and guitar

safe food is anything sweet or chocolatey — he has a massive sweet tooth and is obsessed w cookies and pastries in particular which ayana baked for him a lot (ill prolly make a whole other post for her in the near future but guys. pastry chef aya. hear me out)

an absolute boss at board games, especially monopoly, and he constantly loves screwing everyone over

extremely hyperfixated on pokemon and owns a bajillion folders filled with cards worth a buttload of money, and a dozen plushies + figurines (projecting bc pokemon is one of my hyperfixes dont judge me) his fav gen is absolutely johto

his eyesight is pretty bad but like. not bad enough for him to be needing glasses (unlike a certain someone cough cough agoti)

speaking of said certain someone, he and agoti do each other's hair a lot simply because its really fun and provides some stimulation, and also because it helps tabi practice with self care and such

VERY SENSITIVE TO SOUND AND TEXTURES, often times he will probably start crying if something sounds or feels wrong

sometimes he forgets certain words in english and has to resort to using what theyre called in russian

has the goofiest sounding laugh ever and i will die on this hill. when you get tabi cackling he will start rolling on the floor and making the most UNGODLY sounds

can speak like 6 languages fluently and a dozen others in simple conversation (NERD ALERT)

he sucks so hard at writing essays but is (for some reason) really good at maths

despite being the more serious one among his group of friends, tabis a dumbass and does a lot more stupid things than one would expect

[richeeduvie]

the princesa’s bullying anon again 😭

thank you soooo much for doing the drabble. you r doing gods work for real for reallll. ever since i started reading madman and following you i keep acting like saul in the first season doing magic to my phone hoping that we will get new princesa and lalo contents (ABSOLUTELY NO PRESSURE if u have to take a break and or dont feel comfortable with it anymore please do. i just want you to know that i really love it and enjoy every thing to the fullest)

re-reading madman and lalo master list again because i want it to be semi-canon to the show and your series so i can come up with more scenarios to bully princesa.

and im starting to think that if i come up with sth lalo will personally appear in my dream and choke me for keeping thinking sick thoughts about his princesa (not gonna complain tho).

THAT being said heres another thought, yk how some tvshow/anime will have a filler beach episode. i think they need that. a hope-to-god-relaxing trip to the beach.

they already see each other body butt naked and have nonstop freaky sex but come onnnnnn the bikini, the pastel yellow floral bikini is a bit too small/revealing still makes princesa shy and conscious abt her body and lalo is staring too long at her ,with dark eyes and she cant see any thoughts, when she ask him to help her put on some sunscreen (hes actually one minute away to cancel this trip and take her home because instinct) (and sometimes in the corner of her eyes nacho is looking at her too - i dont know why the hell they need nacho there maybe extra body guard i just want nacho to see how beautiful she is and cant do nothing about it im sooooo sorry baby 😭)

but princesa ayyyy she in the bikini and she has this red hibiscus behind her ear, a seashells necklace. oh my shes sooooo pretty and cute. lalo watching her drawing on the sand a big heart and then their initials in it, picking every shells that she finds beautiful and put it close to her ear and lalos and say “can you hear the waves” and giggle. the sun the breeze the sea everything seems like making her even more beautiful. (sorry for not mention anything abt me, lalo, im obsessed with my girl. but she also about to climb him the moment they walk out of the changing room. and nacho have to witness all of it)

and something super dumb and very stereotypical happens like shes waist deep in the sea and ohhh noooo the waves are too strongggg and arghhhh her…..her top slips awayyyy. someone please help princesa. but shes just standing there panicking because nacho just tell lalo that he has a phone call from lets say eladio bcs that is someone will make him to go up to the shore and nacho is keeping an eye on her.

sooooo she has to wave him over and ask him to tell lalo abt her “little problem” while she feels like theres smoke coming out of her head.

the rest is lalo style teasing and also instinct but its something really funny…hilarious to him too because he doesnt think it will actually happen.

Anon, this is REALLY showing just how much of a crush you have on Princesa. I was getting hot for her while reading this like damn. I love this. I love this so much.

Lalo and Princesa have seen the other extremely naked and in many, many sexual positions and scenarios, but every time Princesa's in a pretty bikini or swim dress that's downed in florals and a mesh cover-up? It's a new, fire-like sight for Lalo. But he'll have to handle. There's that snaps and sharpens at the idea of taking her in front of Nacho, but something like instinct comes down harsh at the idea of Nacho seeing Princesa while she's at her most...open.

Nacho watches the ocean as best as he can, it's a better visual than Lalo massaging sunscreen into Princesa's skin. And her ass. You can't leave no spot at risk for sunburn, right?

Of course, the man who never sleeps, is very, very close to knocking out when Princesa comes over him to lather his back and legs with sunscreen.

"It's a great day for a swim, right, Lalo? Lalo?"

"...What you said, yeah...I think you missed my ankles, sweet girl."

Princesa offers to help Nacho out with his application with a great amount of shyness, as if they're back to square one in terms of friendship because she'd be touching him bare, but sunscreen is important.

Nacho struggles to get his back by himself. Lalo snorts.

Lalo bullies Princesa for her love of pretty things, a tourist at heart. But he buys her everything. Shell necklaces that are too expensive. Trinkets. He'll make sure she wears it all the time and too much. She'll make him wear it and he'll call it girly, but keep it tucked inside his shirt.

Their initials wash away in the white sloshing of water, but Princesa just draws in again, feeling the wet, tight sand under her nails. She feels like a teenager with how she writes her and Lalo's name over and over, but she also draws hearts. And she tries to draw a bird.

Lalo smokes over the ocean, knees bent beside Princesa.

"Lalo, the ash."

He blows smoke. "It's not like the I set the sea on fire, Princesa. Don't be so worried. Now, help me draw this gun."

He dashes the Salamanca name under the sand-doodled handgun. Nacho might be asleep under the sun.

Lalo's not listening to the waves when Princesa puts the cold shell to his ear because Princesa. Just that. Just her. He'd rather listen to her breathe and watch her try to find the ocean in the shell. Their faces press together and Lalo doesn't smile in how he watches her, not in the blacked-out stare.

He presses his wet toes into hers, deepening their feet in the sand.

"Lalo!"

Nacho's woken by the screaming and the chasing, Lalo yelling out with throaty laughs when he throws Princesa over his shoulder.

Swimming is calmer, and he can't see her body or the way she moves when they're both in the water.

"You okay?"

Lalo's watching them from the shore, because business. Always the family career he's so proud of getting in the way of things. He's expecting a call, so he just gets started on lunch with a sandwich stuffed in his mouth.

The phone rings, the waves crashes. Princesa struggles.

"I know how to swim."

"I would hope so, kid."

"It's just-these waves are not making it easy. You must think it looks so embarrassing."

Nacho blinks up, then down. "You're fine-"

Waves crash.

"No. No!"

A top slips away. Or...more like floats off into the waves, and Nacho barely realizes what's happening until the blood rushes to his head and face.

"Oh...fuck. Fuck. Hold on, don't move."

Princesa sinks herself in the water, cheeks aflame while she watches Lalo busy on the phone. Watching Ignacio try to swim for her bikini top is the most embarrassing thing to ever happen to her, and almost everything is embarrassing.

It's already off into the sea and Nacho would rather not be pulled away with it. He curses hot under his breath, wiping his face with salt water.

"Just-"

"I-I'm sorry."

"...Why are you sorry? It's just...don't move. Fuck. Lalo better find this funny."

Princesa can already hear his teases and feel his nipple pinches.

Lalo's brows curve when he sees Nacho coming out of the water looking odd, more than how the guy usually is. Just in time with the phone call ending.

"What's that out there?"

He feels like he needs those damn...the things you look through, glasses. Damn. What is it?"

"She...she lost her top. I think you should-" Nacho closes his eyes, as if a stutter will reveal something to Lalo. He starts over. "I think you should help her."

Lalo doesn't blink.

"...Did you see anything?"

They forget the one time Nacho saw anything.

"No, no. I didn't try anything but to get her top but that is gone with the water...so, it should be you?"

"...Yeah."

His mouth is thin, eyes dark before he smiles brightly. He slaps Nacho's shoulder.

"Yeah. That girl. Always something, look at the little top in the sea. Princesa! You cold?"

Princesa feels like steam and streams of tears. Her hugs herself more, breast pressing on her arms.

Lalo walks off. "Get to the car, eh, Nachito? Good man."

He jogs into the water, laughing with every wave.

"Don't laugh, plea-please. I didn't mean to-it is cold."

Lalo coos. "Aw, poor Princesa. My poor, poor Princesa. Don't let your nipples swim away too. What would I do without them?"

"...Lalo."

It's a long, soft whine that makes Lalo laugh. He pulls her in and kisses her head.

He squeezes her a bit too tightly, and not out of choice, just something that happens with his arms when he sees Princesa like this.

"I'll warm you up, huh?"

"I should get a towel."

"In a bit."

Princesa's head slumps. "Lalo-"

"Don't whine, nipples. This is what happens when you pick something so small for the waves."

"You said you liked them."

It's high, almost cracking. Lalo coos again.

"Sure, Princesa. Sure."

Princesa accepts his tight, instinctual hold on her better than she accept his continuous bullying in the cold waves. Nacho dries off in the car for ten minutes.

[singerorpheus]

im just gna word vomit everything i saw:

- i had madeline charlemagne as eurydice and beth hinton lever as a fate! beth had a string of bells as her instrument!

- i kept being drawn to bella as a fate shes so so mean and nasty im obsessed with her

- nothing changes is too fast and i stand by that!!!

- the cut lines for the women i will always mourn but theres also something so powerful about the looks eurydice and persephone and even hermes shoot each other like the silence is so so loud

- doubt comes in orpheus hitting his chest, i literally heard with my own two ears donal shushing the fates as they go where is she, he kisses his little necklace thing before starting

- LIKE WHAT IS HIS LITTLE NECKLACE THING

- the notebook during chant i literally just has la la la la la written on it thats my poet who will change the world btw

- zachery hades is so fucking yassified i feel like no one mentioned that his chant ii walk is so cunty

- the use of the red at the back of his outfit is used so cleanly and effectively its almost diabolical how good that combination of blocking and costuming is

- i literallt cannot believe i saw donal orpheus sing if its true live like in real life like oh my god

- buy your tickets at the right side!! orpheus does run up next to the crowd to climb some metal scaffolding(?) to run up to eurydice after flowers, but in the defense of the left side -- eurydice stands there pretty often and so does hermes so you get full melanie all the time which is a dream and also holy shit you can just see orpheus in front of you for doubt comes in as he starts panicking

- god they really make donal run and sing and he does it full body

- wow melanie really gives her all the entire time shes on stage the silent moments she has with eurydice especially after hey little songbird is like oh my god

- also i wanted the lights to swing over my head so so bad

- god the lighting tony win is so fucking deserved its so fucking CRAZY how full body the experience of the lights are

- during our lady of the underground gloria reached out and touched someones bald head in the front row shes so fucking funny

- also i just kept hearing from the people around about how good gloria is once the show is done and theyre so right

- absolutely no notes for madeline she was absolutely great (i could literally see her shake during chant i and hey little songbird) she sang "orpheus" before she went back down after doubt comes in which was a big OOF for me

- the parallel between eurydice learning the dance from the workers during livin it up on top and her learning the moves during why we build the wall omg

- when orpheus makes the little newspaper flower it has a little stalk in the middle of it unlike broadway

- during olotu, when persephone introduces the keyboardist he does the little pierre "no i am enjoying myself at home this evening" fist pump

- gloria's single tear post chant ii is fucking killer.

- also hades does a little funny shimmy during lover's desire like i wonder if every hades and persephone has a slightly different dance? bc i dont rmb some of those moves

- when hermes sings "and that is how it ends" orpheus just collapses.... my poor beloved poet!!

- orpheus reacts to the lamp above the exit before he leaves

- i guess i also didn't really realise how hurt orpheus is by the time doubt comes in happens orpheus as a little stumble by the time he starts epic iii and hes so so greviously hurt by then already

- this orpheus doesn't have the Classic red tied bandana it's more like just a piece of non-patterned red cloth around his neck. he wear a necklace (which i will emphasise so much i so desperately want to know what it is -- the stage is so fucking high i couldn't get a clear view of it) which had two pendants of things that i couldn't see and a black (iron?) ring on his middle finger if im not wrong

-the red carnation that appears doesn't have leaves or a stem unlike the broadway version that ive seen its just petals that appear in orpheus' and hades' hands

-if ure a west end enthusiast like i am u would already know but hermes has a pocket watch now that she checks periodically and its a big reoccurring thing

-when persephone leaves for up top in act 1 zachary hades is like slouched iirc -- i think zachary plays up the business man aspect of hades and also hades' underlying sadness whereas i think other hadeses have more anger within them with some sadness popping up periodically

-orpheus during epic iii when the workers start singing with him had a little smile/relief before he went back to being in Extreme Pain

[bookish-phile]

rant about caraval

or convince me to read it

OMGGGG I WISH U ASKED THIS WHILE I WAS LIKE READING THE LAST BOOK BC THEN I WOULDVE HAD SO MUCH STUFF TO TELL YOU AND EVERYYHING WOULDVE BEEN FRESH ON MY MIND

but okay lemme try

read it because

julian. simply julian.

also his fricking nickname for scareltt like?? jebskahs nicknames are so cute especially when its a whole different word but with related meaning

and also julian is like really hot

really attractive

i used to call him my favourite book bf while reading it (after cardan though. always after cardan.) but then i realized i dont obsess over the book guys after im done with the book so rn im simping for xaden (and liam and ridoc)

hes also IDEAL

hes precious

i live him so much

and then thers JACKS

omg

where do i even start

i think he might be better than julian idk

like i love his personality

okay i should probably give something more than just boy stuff

so uh

scarletts cool

tellas badass

theres magic

the ships are cute

is it surprising that i dont think i convinced you

im so sorry but i lose my zeal after a day of finishing the book this is so unfortunate

but if u ask my about fourth wing i would gladly spill everything

im sorry again

but if ur thinking of getting the paperback and not reading it online then yesss pls do it the book feels so good to touch for literally no reason like it has no business being that aesethetic

but yeah i recemmond. you should really read it.

but you know what i recemmond more?

THE CRUEL PRINCE

if u havent read it pls read it like this is the only book i will never lose enthusiasm over bc its just that good like idk why every single being on the face of this planetis not obsessed with it bc ITS SO GOOD

i think about cardan like 50x a day hes so hot i love him so much

pls tell me if u want me to convince u

thanks for actually reading till here lmao

[coderiderr]

9, 22 and 27 for you good friend!!

09. personal bias aside, who do you think is the best written character and why? 

regarding MCD oh katelyn absolutely no question. plot threads and arcs can get a little all over the place but katelyn has a consistent motiv/arc she follows through on s1-2 with her defection and everything, we love you katelyn <333 ugh queen

For mystreet well tbh. uhh. s1-3 zane is the only one who had a solid like. arc (?) about opening up and making friends. (not that he should be opening up to these ppl theyre all assholes to him lmfao) so much happens in mystreet and the quality, ranges. s1-3 was like a sitcom but then s4-6 were so much idk.

22. who's the character that you most identify with and why?

i dont think i identify with any of these guys honestly. theyre all very different from me,. mystreet liochant ig, bc he does nothing <3

27. what's something really interesting that you wished canon decided to explore more? alternatively, what's something interesting that you wished the fandom acknowledged more?

OH THERES SOSOSSOSOSOS MUCH goign on mystreet concepts first uhm s4-6 i dont like ghost but her concept is so insane but the fucking execution but like she literally cant remember anything about her life other than the name zane & like love. which she interprets as oh he must be the love of my life or smthin so shes obsessed with him but extremely strongly implied (or outright confirmed id have to rewatch) this is the ghost of emmalyn from mcd and the reason she remembers zane is bc MCD zane literally killed her husband in front of her its so crazy. thinking the reincarnation of the guy who killed your soulmate is your one true love bc you cant remember why you know him AHHHHHHH

s1-3 mystreet im blankin on a lot of it. idk garroth repsect ur brothers boundries more or smthin </3 wish they leaned more into the hilarity of zane being part of the homeowners association. wwe only got the ep where he judges christmas decorations for a competition. ohhh wait they shouldve leaned more into zane being an outcast and why bc theyre kinda like hes a dick ig? even tho like. he reasonable defensive and shit bc the people around him are like. constantly making fun of him. i think he deserves to be a little bit of a dick.

MCD JUST LIKE>> TRAVIS IN GENERAL HIS CONCEPT GOES SO INSANE AND THEN THEY JUSARGHHH like his dad is the demon lord and he grew up solely with his mom and is extremely outcast at the village he protects FROM HIS DAD bc of his parentage and the dude literally spends all his time alone after his mother died he has so much compassion for people who hate him it goes so crazy. and hes so ashmed of his demon side im ahhhh. hes always lurking in ym brain

and dante and gene dante and gene. pov youre orphans and your big brother is doing something terrible so you report him and he winds up being hanged for it and he comes back as an undead monstrosity and kills literally everyone in your hometown ((i realize i have misremebered it was a memory wipe not killing but so many village wipes happen in this series can you blame me)) but you and you are haunted by the guilt you feel. its hard but you end up finding a new place to call home and new people to call family until one day theyre gone and you do your best to help your little struggling village and you perservere until one day 15 years later theyre back and havent aged a day. you thought they were gone.

also just fucking getting to see dante age and get married and become a father while gene is stuck in the same 20 y/o body goes crazy. what happens when you outgrow your big brother

also hmm i dunno. i think we should all aprreciate brenden more. also kiki & zane are so we need to talk about that more

[borderline-gays-club]

12/17/23 12:16 AM

I feel like I'm always playing catch up. And this has been an ongoing problem for a very very long time. At least since highschool. possibly before. And I now know its because of all my fun mental problems that work together to make my life a chaotic mess (less so now). But now I'm in a place where Im asking myself: how do I just exist without feeling like I need to get everything done right now. Like i cant fucking relax. And the problem is that there is some level of reasoning to it, but at the same time I need to find a balance, cus either way working crazy all the time is just gonna burn me out and cause me more problems in the long run. I have gone through so many periods in my life where I'm severely depressed and incapacitated and then hypo mania kicks in and I can do everything. So in the time periods of mania I would "make up" for all the time I lost and it was a vicious cycle. Even though my bipolar symptoms are currently managed with medication, I look back the past 10 years or so and I'm like wow. I lost a lot of myself bc of my BPD. and I guess thats where alll my current urgency is coming from. BPD took a lot away from me. Time that I can never get back. And I can't say I regret it, because with the tools I had back then, it just wouldn't have been possible to have made different choices. I will say, with every step of this journey in my life, I really have always been trying. Even at my worst I was trying to find ways to not be so miserable. I really wouldn't give up. Its in these moments of reflection that I can really say that my will to live has actually been very strong this whole time. Even when i wanted to die. I still tried. The times that i basically gave up on myself was when my miserableness was being blanketed by obsession/FP shit. That was the perfect way to completely lose hold of myself and dedicate every fiber of my being to that other person. and it would feel euphoric and would get me out of depression. Its terrible. literal addiction shit. These are the times that I mourn because it really does feel like regression. And as much as i dont want to treat myself like a project that must always get better over time, it really just feels tragic how much of my 20s I've lost to losing myself in other people. But this is all time i cannot get back. There is no point in regret. And also, I cant regret decisions I couldn't really make. A lot of this lost time is really due to lack of care that I needed. From my parents, from doctors. I was simply emotionally and medically neglected, and I did my best with what I did have. All I can do now is to strive to live in my truth. but first i must figure out what my truths are. Because I still don't really know what self means. Im figuring it out tho. *last note: mayb i just need to view time differently. I'm viewing it as a linear thing, but I know that time is not really linear. Life is certainly not linear. I think I still view my value with what I do and what I create. This is something I'm working through. I think the question is also: Who am i if I did not make things? Where would I place my self worth without being able to make things? theres always a lot to work thru.