#bc if they set the boundary themselves that’s another story

[theresa-of-liechtenstein]

‘if your guy friends have girlfriends you need to distance yourself from them, be a girl’s girl first’ unpopular opinion maybe but it’s kind of sad that we make invisible rules to restrict us from the friendships that can organically arise out of situations. and i have no control over the jealousy of another person either. just set your boundaries clearly and concisely and proactively and move on

[hoseoksssangels]

⛓Obsessive placements in Synastry⛓

[DISCLAIMER: everything I’ve written comes from personal experience and observation. It may not resonate with you and it’s totally fine! tysm and stay safe!]🧨

Synastry 🧬

-Pluto/Lilith conjunct Asc/Moon/Ic

Usually since Pluto is the planet of obsession, the Pluto person will be the one who’s more obsessed, but I’ve noticed that the person receiving that energy, that in this case would be Asc/Moon/Ic somehow form some sort of emotional attachment to Pluto’s obsession. I know this might sound weird but if the receiving person is quite plutonic themselves then it’s more likely the attachment will be there. If Venus is somehow aspecting this, the Pluto person might make the other person feel loved the way they always wanted , which would lead to attachment, because in human psychology all humans get attached to that one person that makes us feel loved. Good sex and physical attraction, there might be some bdsm or even masochistic actions in the bedroom.

Moon in the 4th/8th house

Moon in the 4th house can be more of a loving/comfortable obsession, where you somehow get obsessed with the house person, but in a gentle way, since the 4th house is ruled by the moon. Strong emotional bond. In a romantic relationship this might be that one ex you will always love or feel love for. Love with no hard feelings. Also the moon person might see the house person as marriage material with this overlay.

Moon in the 8th house it’s a whole another story…💀 Personally I enjoy these sort of aspects since I’m very plutonic myself but I know some people who have had this aspect in synastry and they somehow get scared just talking about the relationship they had. The house person might get very obsessed with the way the moon person makes them feel and how they can get under their skin. The 8th house is our dark side, the type of shit we wouldn’t show just to anybody. It’s like forming a bond with the other person’s dark side. Get ready to act like psychopaths lmao. Also the house person might want to create the moon person or vice versa. The moon person might see themselves in the house person, since our moon tells us about our deepest core and how our soul truly is.

North node conjunct Sun, Moon, Asc, Karma

So the north node is our compass, it shows us where we are heading in life. When someone’s Sun, Moon or Asc is conjunct it,it feels like this person is the person we’re supposed to be with for the rest of our lives or the person we’re supposed to be like. If the person leaves, it might feel like we’re heading in the wrong direction or doing something wrong. But what this aspect truly is about, is that the planet person shows us a way, sets an example for us of what we should do. They’re not who we should be or our person, they’re just completing their karma, which would be showing and guiding us, till we reach our task and they do what they were sent for. But this can create a strong sense of “fate” and obsession since the Karmic nodes are low-key tricksters and illusionists.

Pluto/Lilith conjunct/square Venus.

A classic. At least every person that is into Astrology knows about this. Obsessive love. Nothing more and nothing less. There might be a need to control and tell our partner how they should, love, dress, express their emotions and who they should be dating. (Especially from Pluto) watch out for love bombing and emotional abuse/manipulation. It happens so so often with these aspects.

Pluto in the 12th house/Saturn in the 12th house.

Yikes. Not my favourite. Yep Saturn too bc Saturn can burden and makes us feel obligated/bonded/forced towards something. The planet person will feel very obsessed and almost as if it is an obligation for them to get to the dormant and most hidden part of the personality of the 12th house person. Big invasion of privacy and it feels almost as if the planet person might not respect ur boundaries. Stalking happens very often. The planet person sometimes might disturb the house person so much it could create some sort of trauma in the subconscious of the house person.

So guys I hope you enjoyed this! I’ve been rewatching Strangers from hell (2019) lately and I got inspired to make this post. Since they remind me of these aspects in synastry. I’ll be making a composite version of this too!

The last time i saw the series was back in 2019😭 I forgot how good it was. Anyways love y’all ❤️ thank you for the support it truly means a lot to me❤️

[miupow]

puppy anon returning after another hiatus bc college and work is saur 💔 lia how can i slay in these conditions !!?? 💔💔

anyways! congratulations on making the decision to make craveverse! im super excited and looking forward to what you produce!!

i saw you express a question a bit back as to whether you should plot it out prior or go chapter by chapter - and idk if its still smthing ur wondering!! so if its not feel free to dismiss - but as someone who has done long fic before id say my happy medium is a little bit of both. you'd want enough to give yourself a couple chapters of buffer while you figure out how to work in the real meat of the plot, but also a few concrete plot points you know you want to hit later on so foreshadowing can be used early on. but also the key word here being "my" because every author should come up with their own mix to keep themselves invested and away from burnout. fanfiction, the medium, fails a little in regards to long fic imo bc it allows reader input at every chapter, which could potentially affect the authors view or or vision for the story.

in regards to overarching plot ideas . . . hmm. whats your ideal end goal you want to achieve w the fic - like a fun horny romp or a mystery series etc? and from there, branching out, do you have a plan for why mc went out into the forest in the first place? :o

anyhow! food for thought and i unfortunately love giving unsolicited advice !! 🥺😔 if any of this was like annoying or i crossed a boundary, lmk!!

- 🐶 puppy anon !!

HIIII PUPPY ANON!!! 🐶❤️ i missed u sm!!! i hope work n school is going well for you heehe :3

im so excited for craveverse too >< thank you for the advice, i think that’s honestly a solid idea,,, might plot out the first few chapters/plotlines and then let the readers input sway the rest ^^

for like. an overarching theme? i want it to be darker, ofc, a little angsty and suspenseful. need drama and conflict :> other than that, lots of sexual tension and smut <33 originally the idea for why mc went into the woods was just because she was dumb and curious, tho maybe giving her an actual reason would be a good idea, set up for some drama!!!

[goldrushzukka]

aidays playlist breakdown: chapter 3

writers block is kicking my ass right now so instead of fulfilling my promise to finish aidays by november im just gonna churn out a couple of these. sorry. (end of the year. probably. writing is really hard.)

here's the fic

here's the playlist

the one by carly rae jepsen

ms carly slay jepsen back at it again with another song about casual sex with absolutely no strings attached at all ever. easy breezy. don't even worry about it.

(ID: "Truth is I never thought of us together / You're just a friend of mine / We should know better, this can't last forever / But kiss me one more time". End ID)

this is sooooo them bc they should know better! they do know better! but here they are anyway! sokka and zuko entered into this thing with the intention of it being unserious and temporary. theyre just people who have sex, and then they become friends who have sex, and then friends starts to turn into something...else. but they've set these boundaries, so they can't be something else, so they pretend it's not happening. they keep saying casual and acting like their feelings aren't there, just to hold on to what they have, in the hopes that it'll be enough.

(ID: "Romance is fine / Pour me some wine / Tell me it's just for the fun of it / Thoughts in your eyes / Hard to deny, but / I don't want love, don't want none of it". End ID)

this part of the song is the most applicable to chapter 3 i think. the scene where sokka asks zuko to catsit while he's away at yue's wedding is so thick with romance it's a wonder they don't fucking choke on it. that whole exchange is so. like. they're lying to themselves. sokka gives zuko a key to his apartment. 24 hour access. a promise not to turn him away, that he is welcome and wanted always. and they both somehow convince themselves (and each other!) that this is a normal thing to offer your casual sex friend. olympic level mental gymnastics happening in that scene.

(ID: "If you want to, you can stay the night / I don't want to be the one, the one / IF you want to, you can hold me tight / I don't want to be the one, the one". End ID)

this is the mindset. sokka gives zuko a key to his apartment, but they're super casual. zuko sleeps better beside sokka than he has his entire life, but they're not dating or anything. they talk every day even if they don't see each other, but it's not like they're in love, right? right. they can do all of these romantic things, make all these gestures and be there for each other, and it's completely fine as long as they remind themselves that it's casual, it's casual, it's casual.

valentine (what's it gonna be) by rina sawayama

another casual relationship banger, but this time it's anxious!!! this song just scratches something in my brain. idk how to describe it i think there's drugs in this

(ID: "I don't think about the future (It doesn't matter) / Or whether we'll stay together (Whether we'll part) / Making promises is dangerous (I'm just a phase) / I'm just your valentine". End ID)

they're casual, right? because anything else -- dating from the start, admitting feelings when they're in the thick of it -- is setting themselves up for failure. they met in a dirty bar and hooked up in the bathroom before going home together, this can't last. this can't be the great love story of their lives, right? right? so this is again, still, the lie they tell themselves. it doesn't matter, it's just a fling, i'm just your valentine.

(ID: "Nowhere else to go / Turn to you but I hope you know / This love is just for show / One night and nothing more". End ID)

the contradiction of "nowhere else to go" and "this love is just for show" is exactly the kind of bullshit zuko and sokka are trying to get away with. this isn't a relationship and there are no real feelings involved and we're just having fun, but no one else would have me and i don't want anyone but you. god. they're so fucking stupid.

house key by scott helman

YEAHHH BABY LET'S GET YEARNY!!!! LET'S GET SOME PINING IN HERE

(ID: "I wanna back splash and a house cat / I wanna make a home for you / I wanna T.V. and a settee / I wanna live alone with you / And when you wake up in the middle of the night / I won't complain if you turn on the light / Beside me you'd be happy you'll see / Can I get your house key? Can I get your house key?". End ID)

this song was not inspiration for this chapter bc i didn't know it existed until i'd already published, but it very well could've been written about this fic. this song is the dead of night, when it's too quiet and dark for anything but the truth. it's all the cards held close to the chest, all the secrets kept even from yourself. the agonising knowledge that this is real, this could be something, it could be everything, it probably already is.

lover by taylor swift

let's just get into it i can't talk about what this song means to me without sounding even more deranged than i already have in this post

(ID: "And there's a dazzling haze, a mysterious way about you, dear / Have I known you twenty seconds or twenty years?". End ID)

this is the thing with zuko and sokka in this fic. they hit it off immediately. they click. the "getting to know you" phase doesn't feel like learning, it's like remembering. it's just like carly rae jepsen says in her smash hit single call me maybe, "before you came into my life, i missed you so bad". always right. anyway this line makes me want to bite my own fingers like carrot sticks

(ID: "Can I go where you go? / Can we always be this close? / Forever and ever, ah / Take me out, and take me home / You're my, my, my, my lover". End ID)

this is what love is. this is it. can i go where you go ("i wish you could be here to see it"), can we always be this close ("do you want to take the long way?"), forever and ever ("i wouldn't want to be stuck with anyone else"). that's love.

(ID: "My heart's been borrowed and yours has been blue / All's well that ends well to end up with you / Swear to be overdramatic and true to my lover / And you'll save all your dirtiest jokes for me / And at every table, I'll save you a seat, lover". End ID)

this is what i'm TALKING ABOUT!!!!! like!!!! all's well that ends well to end up with you equals nothing safe is worth the drive equals every moment of heartache is worth it to be together at the end!!!!! they have each been through so much, both separately and together. i have personally forced them to have so many problems. but this is what it's all for. this is the goal. this is what they get to have, when the dust settles and the sun finally shines on them: dirty jokes and a spot beside their lover. simple pleasures made grand by true love.

[itrin]

another wolf359 relisten

bc ive relistened to this podcast maybe four times now and im coming back to it for a fifth time (in 2 years) and i think i could genuinely listen to it 59 times and still enjoy it just as much as the first time

bc holy shit this is such an incredible podcast and i love noticing the tiny details i missed in the previous listens and just absorbing the dynamics again

anyways here's my totally normal feelings and thoughts dumped out, completely unsolicited and without order:

the sound design and production are everything to me; wolf 359 is the only podcast that I dont have to do another to in order to listen lmao I can, have, and do listen to the podcast at the table with my hands folded or eating dinner like I can still be engrossed in the story just by being still too

hearing hera's voice in episode 1 DFHSDKJG she's so...customer servicey and just the sharp contrast between her in the very first episodes and later on in the series; hilberts voice is changed too for the first episodes -- he sounds high-pitched like he's really trying to sell the character of Alexander Hilbert, quirky and unassuming scientist. listening to them when we're first introduced to them, with the knowledge of who they become and what they do, it hits-- all the nuances in voice is just wow. Like Hilbert's mask slipping briefly, the crack in the character, the facade, as indicted by his voice deepening into his real voice sometimes (I think in the empty man episode)

the Empty Man still creeps me out like it did the first time. The Empty Man always gives me chills.

minkowski holding a gun to fiffel's like how lovelace holds a gun to everyone on board with her bomb like how cutter holds a gun to humanity with the decima virus. how eiffel is humanity and humanity was the only thing hilbert cared about

when minkowski says she's never seen eiffel as happy as he looked in the picture he taped under his desk, the one where he's with anne; eiffel's voice when he first talks about what happened with anne to minkowski, flat and forcibly casual, then raw and bitter...oof

minkowski says in mini episode 6 that "my husbands going to kill me" ....gurl..ur husbands going to witness u get killed on tv..and his company covers the story..

episode 38 "happy endings" was very satisfying and I love the dynamic between hilbert and lovelace. and also:

hilbert is such A Character; everything is for progress, for the big picture. he has morals and boundaries but he'll willing to cross them, he has principles and he's willing to compromise; he wanted so badly for everyone under his care to live but they didnt and he started again. there's no humiliation he won't endure for the big picture. lovelace constantly kept getting outraged on his behalf because he couldn't muster up anything besides determination (resignation) -- which I think is the best part of their dynamic, hes cold, dead steel and she's a blazing, dangerous inferno. they hate each other, they're the only ones who know each other, who remembers the first Hephaestus crew. hilbert did care for the og crew, and he cares for the new Hephaestus crew too, but he cares about decima, the progress of humanity, and the big picture most of all

in ep34 when kepler asks eiffel "what's going on, what's the problem?" in that voice, and i-

I had many conflicted feelings about si5. still do and probably always will with every listen. si5 is...recruiting people at dead ends and rock bottoms because they have no where else to go, no one else to turn to, and its all they have to dedicate themselves to Goddard. si5 are people who have nothing else, so they dedicate themselves to each other. si5 have complexes upon compartmentalizations upon complexes and they're callous, objectively bad people but they're bonded stronger than most families. they're trained, loyal and without hesitation, they trust each other and only each other. they were set up to be invincible, and when they fell, it was spectacularly hard.

what's that one post thats like "what makes w359 incredible is that every character is written like a main character" yeah

when "we try not to be monsters. when we can help it" goes to "the hell do you think we are, ups?" and to "*maxwell collars hera*" [insert tearing teeth out noises]

I think about Kepler's pig joke.

I think about someone saying Kepler's laughter is his cry.

I think part of why Kepler hates Hilbert so much is because when si5 kills, its with a purpose and a plan, and Kepler knows decima will go nowhere further than this so to him, the murders are disgusting because they're purposeless

si5's divide and conquer approach from the very beginning was ruthlessly effective holy shit; but at the same time, I cant help but think about how nice it must feel to have someone who understands, to have an advocate for the first time; Hera with Maxwell, and Eiffel with Kepler

on that note, I never understood why, really; every time, I just cant help but think its hypocritical for any of them to feel distress and anger over murder when theyre responsible for the same crime. but thats human, simply put. jacobi has blood on his hands, he killed hilbert remorselessly, but he's in pain and grief over Maxwell's death--and ig the act of murder doesn't protect u from the fallout of death.

god I fucking love Renee Minkowski so much, so MUCH. and the little things too -- refusing to back down from Kepler in that first bit when he interrupts her solitary confinement for help (satisfying, go girl); and also calling out Jacobi for his shit every time, including the fact that he had a choice to disobey orders, not kill Hilbert, and save Maxwell and he didnt make that call. just - I love her

Jacobi once said something like "Kepler doesnt push people past breaking point" and then kepler realizing hes pushed too far when Jacobi tries to force minkowski to shoot him dead. "please tell me you have a plan" said in a shaky voice, ah

truly I dont know where id be without the "Memoria" episode where Hera uncovers her subconscious saying "I cant do this, im not good enough," and then every single time afterwards she does it anyways. always. that episode impacted me..somuch.

this isn't even close to capturing everything, w359 is truly the chefs kiss. but I had to put this out somewhere.

anyways.

[forcebookish]

heyyy so I just read your ask and how you said mew and top are somewhat unique characters and I agree so much and I think that's one of the reasons why they get so much hate. first I just wanna say I'm not generalizing everyone cuz I know this doesn't apply to all but let's face it A LOT of bl watchers still have some very problematic views. one of the main ones is how they seriously think virgin = dainty little flower that can't do anything for themselves. and since mew is self assured and sets boundaries they think he must be secretly manipulative or bad bc in their minds there's no way a virgin could act like that. and with top...they will never give him the benefit of the doubt bc to them someone that looks like him could never be a victim. and another thing with mew is some actually hate him for "withholding sex" (such a nasty term). so whichever side they fall on the hatred for his character mostly has to do with sex in one way or another. It's pretty gross.

yep, you're totally right, anon!! what's even more wild is that production, and specifically p'jojo, have said multiple times that mew is a character MEANT to subvert the "dainty little flower virgin" stereotype! he's meant to be self-assured and sexy! taking away any of that dismantles the story they're actually trying to tell.

that's what's so weird about the way he and top have been received by so many. 'we want realistic, messy gays!! ...but not like that.' ??? none of these "theories" about mew not being a virgin or top liking boston's (obviously unwanted) advances are even remotely realistic lmao

sounds more like they just wanted a series with a lot of sex and yelling and were never interested in realism.

and it hasn't escaped my notice that the pair who aren't having sex are the ones who are hated on the most and called boring🤔

oh pals, you are all are bad influences and keep tricking me into writing meta orz (i love it tho)

[captainninej]

do you think that Feyre could go up against all the High Lords and win, since she has a drop of each of their powers? Or does having a drop of their powers mean she can’t win against them because they have the power that she had but magnified?

i’m very confused when it comes to Feyre and what having ‘a drop of their power’ means especially since fans are always talking about Feyre being the most powerful (even though it’s Rhysand or Nesta?)

hmm i've never thought about this!

it's implied that she could beat the high lords, considering that it's mentioned they would want to kill her if they found out she had their power. i think since the high lords all have magic that's specifically bound to their own courts, feyre's powers transcending court boundaries could potentially make her more powerful than them.

because if she's up against beron, beron only has fire. she has ice which she can use to nullify his powers. if she's against kallias, she can beat him too with beron's fire, so on and so forth. i think maybe since she has less of the individual high lord's power than the high lord themselves, she couldn't beat them using her portion of their own power, but could beat them with the other high lords' magic she has, if that makes sense. and perhaps having all of the powers means that they magnify each other. alas, this is never explored by the author despite being a really interesting concept.

but it's also kinda vague as to what a 'drop' means? it sounds like she has a lot more than just a drop if she can wield the power she does in the books. and if she's the most powerful, why is rhysand still referred to as the most powerful?

nesta i can understand being the most powerful because her powers (until they were rOBBED) came directly from the cauldron, and seemed like they were outside the realm of the high lords' powers. like it was more primordial and raw than the more refined powers of the high lords. which possibly means it is more powerful than feyre's. or perhaps because both of them wield such unique magic, they are simply powerful in different ways.

rhysand can choke but i really think if the series focused on the magic of feyre and nesta etc it would be SO much more interesting. bc despite the complete failure in execution, sjm set up a really interesting story with cool as concepts!! a woman who unintentionally stole all the powers of the most powerful men in the land?? fucking yes please!!! another woman who stole literal universe magic from the cauldron of creation?? that's so fucking cool!!!! i would read the shit out of the books if they focused on these two sisters who both took powers from cosmic forces and learned how to use them and walked that journey together.

ahhh and here i go mourning the potential of this series again. thank god for fanfiction because the author alas was more interested in her toxic bat love interests, misogyny and badly written sex fantasies of her and her husband to write a compelling story, even though the elements of one were there.

[ofmythsandmadness]

to be called beautiful | d.h.

❛ do you ever miss, having someone around to love you?❜

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

SUMMARY: vigilantes!au. you push the boundaries of your relationship, and ask for a wish you know won't be given back. (or — it's late, and after another night of patrol, loneliness sets in deep.) WARNINGS: slightly nsfw??? mentions to sex, no descriptions. it's not a sexual story, just a part of an inner monologue. WORD COUNT: 2.6k+ NOTES: reposting this in hopes it shows up this time (pls pls pls i'm gonna cry). i've been writing a whole other series that is a totally different writing style, but i've been trying to work out my emotions in small, focused pieces like this one when i can't focus. i might develop this into a small ficlit series of it's own, bc i think it's kinda fun — but we'll see how this goes.

THE BEAST THAT IS YOUR LONELINESS has been your burden for too long to say.

It's hold on you is a familiar ache, one you've felt for years, like a chronic tight tugging on your heart that refuses to give in no matter what you try. But you still refuse to name it for fear of coming to terms with the implications of it all. That you're really alone in this life and you're terrified of what that means and the fact that you can't have what your childhood stories promised would be yours.

Like the fool you are, you cling to the idea that it's just passing notions. You'll get over it one day. The flitting daydreams of a fairytale romance better fit for a vanilla Hallmark flick suck, but one day they won't hurt so bad. You'll numb and find a way to fill the void. And you try, you really do, pushing it down for the quick release of meaningless acts and walks of shames and cold bedsheets.

Sex is a toxic friend. You choose it's pull when your heart aches most and the loneliness begs for your breath to the point where every gasp of air is a privilege, not the bare minimum. It's not what you crave. There's no romance, no love. It's a trade and one that always leaves you feeling robbed of something you're not sure you ever even had.

You rarely remember their names. You know they probably won't remember yours. And why would they? The shudders, the whimpers, the cold moans that amount to nothing but crumbs of a supposedly passionate act only pass an hour, then they're gone. Or you're gone, if you're lonely enough to risk it. A bit of fun, a breath of pink and white and the feeling of someone pulling you closer, begging for your skin against theirs.

And then, it's all grey again. And you're alone at your apartment, washing your body free of the marks some stranger dared to press into your wilting skin, wondering what it would feel like for a lover to kiss you that same way. Running your fingers over every inch that has been caressed by so many faceless guests, trying to hold yourself in the way your foolish heart pounds for. But it's never enough. Your hands don't cup your flesh, don't mould and kiss and promise the carefully knitted lies any lover had dealt you in the past. And you're as cold as ever when they fall back to your sides. Nothing enflames your skin like you wishes it could — like those you wish would.

It's a discontent you live with. Just as you're sure millions of others do. That's what life is; you push yourself through the day, through your mundane day job and your taxing nighttime hobbies (because you sure as hell can't claim what you do as real work if your only pay is in blood and tears). You cling to the good times that happened too long ago to remember clearly, and make the moments that you're alone with your thoughts as small as possible.

But there's no time to consider all that now.

You scrunch your face up as tight as you can, squeezing your eyes shut to the point where you see stars, exploding like confetti in some absurd black void that hides behind your lids. For a moment you hold the pose, watching the stars erupt, until the position hurts too much and you have to release.

Surroundings blur and then clear as your eyes readjust from their disassociation. You stare blearily at the random coffee shop you and your 'associate' chose for the night. It's just as generic as the last five visited, a thousand shades of brown and red and weary smiles the bored baristas wear just for a cheap check that'll barely cover their asses. It's worn and empty; no one's hear except the two of you and the workers who probably hate you for being here so late.

Normally, you would feel like an asshole staying so late. But you can't bring yourself to move, or even suggest to. It's all too heavy. And even if it's in brooding silence, you don't want to leave your partner. Not yet, you beg the universe, just a few more minutes.

And, speaking of—

"What's got you so blue today?"

You blink. Look over to him, only to see him already watching you.

There's really no point lying. He always unravels you too quickly, too easily — it's the detective in him, unravelling anyone and scooping their truths from shivering flesh. Some sort of childhood trauma response he developed into another super power.

You used to hate it. Now...if you concentrate hard enough, his sharp gaze feels like one of a lover's.

"Don't know what you mean," you tell him, foolish and flustered. "I'm just fine."

"Bullshit. You've sighed a dozen times in the last five minutes."

"Tch. No I haven't."

"Did too!"

His teeth glint, white and clashing against the full pink of his lips. You wish you could denounce all the times you wondered what it would feel like to have them graze against your keening skin — but not even all the gods could cleanse of you of those thoughts. Those desperate, pleading, melancholic memories stain; he can't see them, but you do when you look close enough. And you can't escape it, much as you try.

"Seriously, though. What's up with you?"

Your gaze falls down to your hands, eager to escape his allure, though it's not a great distraction. It only makes you more bitter, really, taking in all the flaws that litter your weaponised limbs. They're calloused from a million fights. Your knuckles are scarred, aching from wounds you reopen every other night. A thousand scars from a thousand scrapes, cuts, slashes and grazes linger on once perfect skin. You don't know how many there are, anymore, only that you wish you could wipe them off. Start over, have a clean slate. Erase all your mistakes and be beautiful again.

"I'm just tired," you lie. It's tense and pitiful; you know you've screwed it up the second the words leave your lips. "S'all."

"Ri-i-ight, and I'm the goddamn queen of England."

The absurdity of his retort makes your lips twitch. It's not enough for a smile, your self-inflicted misery makes sure of that, but it's a seed of something. "Wow. Didn't know I was in the presence of royalty."

"Yeah, yeah. Shut it."

"My apologies, your highness."

"Shut up, you little shit," he grumbles, but it's as soft as you get from him. It's practically a cry of love — or your foolish mind paints it as such. You take his teasing insults as promises of adorations and his arguments are poems of lust and infatuation that tug on your heartstrings in ways you know they shouldn't.

You're partners, for crying out loud. Professional coworkers (if you call the bloody mess you two create work). You don't get to miss him, or crave him, or love him like you do.

"Something happen to you?"

You watch his own hands fold and unfold on the table. The long, delicate fingers stand out on a man like him; someone who paints himself in only sharp angles and cutting lines. But you think they match him well. They promise life. Bleed hope, even in the raised scars that lace his skin like your own. You've watched those fingers grip a blade, launch it into flesh, pull and push and dig and rip and take and committed acts of atrocity most people would run from. You know he probably thinks of his hands the same way you do. But you think they're beautiful.

"Nah. It's...it's nothing. Really."

You can't see his face, but you imagine his narrowed eyes and furrowed brows asking for an answer you're just not willing to give. "C'mon, just tell me. Can't be that bad."

Your body laughs. You hear it from some place far away. It's cold and hoarse; you wonder how long it's been since you've heard a genuine laugh from yourself. You wonder if he notices (and wishes he did, foolishly, frivolously...).

It's probably stupid, but you go for it.

"You ever miss having someone?"

Something creaks; his chair, groaning as he shifts his weight. One of his fingers taps against his empty coffee cup; idle music for a restless soul.

"Like, in what way?"

"I..." Your nails dig into your palms. This was a mistake, but one you have to follow through with. He won't accept silence after something like that. "In the cheesy, domestic sorta way? That whole, havin' someone to come home to, someone who you can talk to, someone who..." the words stick like molasses in the back of your throat. Try as you do, they refuse to give themselves to him, so you have to substitute. "Just, someone who likes you, past your body or, or whatever."

"Oh."

"Sorry." It's your turn to shift in your seat, awkwardly searching for something to occupy yourself with as this uncomfortable energy you've created carries on. But your cup's empty, and you don't have the cash to ask for another overpriced latte. "Forget about it. Let's talk about somethin' else, yeah?"

He doesn't answer that. In fact, he doesn't say anything at all for a moment, long enough to make you wonder if you've just crossed the line of no return. You can't bring yourself to look at him, hell your cowardice is painful enough to make you wonder if you should just make a run for it, say au revoir! to the bond you've built with this knife-obsessed robin hood and crush your heart forever.

It's tempting, and you consider it, but then he fills the silence.

"I miss Eudora sometimes."

Finally, your gaze tilts up. Your eyes meet his lips. He's not smiling anymore.

You guys don't talk about exes together. It's a forbidden topic, same as family or childhoods or the number of people that have cut you open and bled you dry for fun. It's too personal, and in this line of work, personal doesn't fly. But you know Eudora Patch, because this line of work requires a couple run ins with people like her, and because your partner in crime has never learned how to stop his emotions from bleeding into his expression.

"Not because I still love her, but y'know..." his fingers wave aimlessly. "It was nice, when it worked. I liked having someone to sleep with. In a non-sexual manner." His lip curls a little. "Guess the sex part was nice too, though."

You nod. "Yeah, I get that. It's...it was nice, having someone who knew you. Who wanted to make you feel good, not just for themselves but 'cause that sort of things matters."

"Mm."

"Y'ever consider pursuing that sort of thing?"

He shakes his head. His adamancy is a truck smashing into your heart — though you know you should have expected no less, it still hurts. "I can't. It never works, with people like us. Y'know?"

"Yeah. Makes sense." You want to say more. You probably should say more — but you doubt he wants to hear your woes about intimacy, and the pathetic ways you crave affection you probably don't deserve. "Yeah."

"Why?"

"Hm?"

His brows knot. "Why're you asking? Someone do somethin'?"

"What? No."

"Cause, like, if someone's hurt you, I'll—"

"I'm fine," you promise, and without thinking, you reach across the table to pat his hand. To reassure him like one would a lover. But just before your fingers meet his, the bitter reminder that he's not yours sets in and you draw back. Your hand falls a couple inches from his own. "And I can take care of myself, if I wasn't. Don't worry."

He chuckles mirthlessly. "Y'sure about that? You're still the dumbass that tripped over her own feet twice walking down an empty sidewalk, and—"

"—oh, you are such an asshole, why can't you just—"

"—so if you need someone to cut a bitch, I'm available."

You soften slightly. Try to smile, even if it's a false promise and probably hangs like a broken door on mismatched hinges. "I appreciate that. But I'm okay. Think I'm just tired, and a little lonely."

"What, I'm not good enough for you anymore?"

Bitterness seeps onto your tongue; it speaks before you can shut your lips around it. "You're fine as a partner against crime. But you're not anything otherwise, are you?" It feels like a taunt. You hadn't meant it to be — though, maybe you had.

If he takes your jeer poorly, though, it doesn't show on his face. He's still smiling and watching you, eyes simmering with a joke you wish you were in on.

"It doesn't matter though. Having someone's too complicated, 'specially for fools like us. Sometimes it's just..." you don't have a good answer. Not one he'd want to hear, anyways. "I just miss it sometimes. It'd be nice to have someone to talk to, or eat breakfast with in the mornings."

He nods slowly. "Yeah. Was nice, having another body around."

"Yeah. Ha. I," you stutter out a chuckle. Tug at your lip, nibbling at the cracked skin that comes with your long nights. "No one prepares you for how lonely adulthood is. Like, I'm half tempted to make friends with the takeout guys, just so I have a friend at all."

"We're friends."

"You know what I mean," you mumble, swallowing the bitter 'are we?' that almost makes its way off your tongue. "It was just nice when I had the time, to have a person around. Someone to like, hold hands with, or-or call me beautiful, sometimes. I-I can't remember the last time called me that, any..."

Fuck.

You hadn't meant for that last confession.

He wasn't supposed to hear that. It's too personal, too personal, too fucking personal for someone you don't even know.

Everything trembles; you're shaking like an avalanche, ready to sweep it all away under some snow drift. Never to be seen again. But you can't do that, there's no taking back the way your voice cracked as it reaches it's last word, and how your hand slips into a fist, ready to charge even though there's no punching your way out of this fumble.

You crack. Stumble out of your seat. Before he can talk you're moving, throwing a couple bills (too many for your poor wallet, you'll pay for that later) down and mumbling something about heading home. Your head's spinning and you just want to sit down again, pretend like this never happened and ask about some meaningless moment in a meaningless day that you wish could be yours and his, not just—

"—text me when you're goin' out again," you say, high and nervous. "I'll be around."

You turn.

"You don't have to leave."

"I got work tomorrow. Early."

"Thought you had the day off?"

Fuck, la deuxième acte. "Taking a shift for someone."

"Oh." He doesn't believe you. He would be a fool to. But he agrees anyways. "Okay."

"See ya, Kraken."

He doesn't answer you back. It's probably better that way.

BONUS

Many hours later, you're in bed, finally dozing off. You've rinsed off the filth of the night and resigned yourself to a barely adequate rest alone, too tired to consider what usually makes your mind race. It's been a long day; let future you contemplate all the ways you've screwed up.

Just as you're about to fall asleep, however, there's a small ping! that immediately wakes you up A notification sound reserved for only one person.

You groan but still roll over. Your heart may be a humiliated, burning mess, but it still beats for him, much as you've tried to stifle it.

kraken // 2:36 am. you available at 11p tomorrow?

kraken // 2:37 am. got word somethin going down at east docks, wanna check it out before it gets bad.

Relief is a sweet blessing. You exhale and smile into the darkness. He's still a professional, even if you seem unable to understand what that means.

you // 2:40 am. for sure. meet me at my place whenever and we can prep.

You leave it at that. Whatever he has to say after that, cannot be too important to waste your precious hours of sleep. So you roll over and shut your eyes and let yourself forget about the empty space that fills your place.

It's a decision you regret the next morning, when you wake up and realise what you missed.

kraken // 3:31 am. you ever get lonely for someone, feel free to let me know.

kraken // 3:32 am. might not make a great boyfriend, but i'll eat breakfast with you. so long as you're cooking.

A/N - I had a whole idea for two tired vigilantes (like what Diego does in season one, but partnered up) who both are really lonely and tired of life and all it's shit, and rely on each other more than they'll ever admit, and...I'll probably never write it, but this was a fun bit of that. two lonely emotionally deprived assholes who can't accept that maybe they can be loved and the person who wants to is right in front of them. :)

[s1ithers]

Thanks for the absolutely wonderful answer! You’ve clearly put a lot of thought into her characterisation!

Ok, here’s another (juicier) question about Lisi: what’s her relationship with each of the companions like? Do any of them go against her in The Last Straw?

WHAT a fun ask thank you :D

So the central broken thing in Lisi's brain that defines all her relationships is that she doesn't really see herself as an autonomous person living her own life, she is her sister's guard. When Beth's magic came in Lisi would've been 12 or 13, Malcolm sat her down, gave her the I won't be around forever talk, and spent the rest of her adolescence training her to Protect the Family & she internalized that body and soul. There's two types of people in the world, those who need protecting, and potential threats.

Isabela is her best friend on god's green earth bc she's neither of those. She doesn't need Hawke to be her protector but won't spill her secret either. It's the first time Lisi's had a real close friendship with someone as equals just bc they enjoy each other’s company, and that fills this huge void in her life. She's a much more social person than canon red!Hawke lol

I think they sort of get each other on a gut level. They both have this devotion to freedom (Bela her own, Lisi her loved ones'), they both see themselves as bad people and want to be better but are afraid it would come at the cost of that freedom. Which is such a vulnerable place to be in! The wrong people will use it against you and people who’ve never really done wrong won’t get it. So they have this bond born of finding someone at the exact right time in your life

That and they're both rowdy extroverts and get on like a house on fire

Merrill triggers her protector instinct in a big way. Seeing someone rejected by their family/clan is so abhorrent to her (especially a mage, especially one who seems so vulnerable and kid-sister-shaped), she’s super defensive of Merrill from the get go. Obvs that’s her projecting a lot and she can be overbearing, which I think Merrill sort of appreciates while she’s finding her feet but eventually does call her on it and set some boundaries in that polite-but-firm way she has, and their friendship improves a lot after that.

She gains a huge amount of respect for Merrill’s resolve & determination over the years even if she doesn’t understand what all she’s doing. Their relationship is very jock/nerd solidarity :’)

Varric is a sort of tragic friendship, two people who care for one another but fundamentally misunderstand each other until it’s too late. She thinks his storytelling is just for a laugh & doesn’t really get the extent to which it’s his way of processing life, relating to the world etc, she is not an abstract thinker in that way at all. So she never really clocks how much it means to him that she’s the hero of his stories. Likewise, I think he sort of falls for his own line a bit bc he doesn’t want to believe it’s all a show, that she just plays the hero as part of a cynical chess game with Meredith.

Of course when it turns out she’d sell Kirkwall for one corn chip, he’s devastated, she surprised he’s so surprised, and she has to get her bf out of town on the morning tide before they have a chance to talk it out. 

His fence sitting on the templar issue meant she did mostly show him that false/public face though, she never fully trusted him

Aveline is fun bc her rivalry path is the only one I think really works lol, the champion & guard captain have practical reasons to keep each other in reach despite personal differences. They have a lot in common, both ex-Fereldan army, and Lisi genuinely wants to be friends at first, especially in that first year when she’s very lonely in Kirkwall. But that’s always tempered by Aveline being a templar’s wife, and from day 1 Lisi’s making a very conscious effort to butter her up & keep her friendly, to keep her from ratting Beth out. (She can be manipulative as hell, it was a big part of Malcolm’s survival training). And their relationship only gets more complicated as Aveline becomes an increasingly shady cop, but also a more valuable ally as Hawke starts making bigger & bolder political plays in the city.

I think Lisi represents Aveline’s id in a way, a fellow gnc warrior woman but charismatic, sexually confident, commits crimes, expresses (seemingly) uninhibited rage & (seemingly) remorseless violence etc. Despite disapproving her actions, methods & beliefs on pretty much every level Aveline has too much repressed envy or a sort of dark fascination to ever really cut her loose

Fenris does turn on her in The Last Straw in my game, and I think that’s probably canon. I got him to max rivalry once to see why he’d stay & it didn’t really feel earned. She never really gets past him calling Bethany a viper the first time they meet

Probably one of the other companions befriends him first, maybe Varric or Isabela, and their relationship grows more slowly from there. But he’s def the hardest one to work into her story just bc he’s so hostile to people she loves all through the game

[brilliantfantasticgeronimo]

i didn't liveblog the latest episode so let’s get that out of the way so we’re ready for the finale

warning: long and 90% of it is complaining.

william using “bromance” unironically....... rolls my eyes 2 infinity

im so tired of nxyly and lex my god. way to ruin nxyly for me, show. “haha cutesy shipper names” shut up writers cheesy shippers are half your audience.

i love the hypocrisy of kara’s “seize the day” speech to alex meanwhile she won’t allow herself to have fun this whole season except when she’s with lena AND she quit her dream job bc of superheroing. . . .. . the bottle calling he kettle black....

/unpopular opinion but andrea was right lskdjf who tf cares about lex luthors privacy my god. “it’s unethical!” shut up william you have no spine. i bet the guy didn't approve of wikileaks or the pananma papers either.

“you are just as bad as lex” SHUT UP YOU CENTRIST PIECE OF SHIT OH MY GOD. how in the world is andrea and her gossip as bad as a genocidal maniac with super intelligence that wants to end the world every sunday what the fuckkk. get some fucking perspective. dslkfjklsd

sorry guys but this guys did not win my heart even now. staz gave his best but there’s no way to salvage this character.

also this is such a rehash after the leviathan plot lol i can’t believe we wasted so much time on an andrea redemption arc............. literally who the fuck cares

sorry, im pissed today.

“if he is in love there’s no telling what he’ll do for nyxly” you would know about that ms kara “for a friend like you there are no boundaries!” danvers huh

this timeline plot is so confusing. how is them not stopping lex and nxly now not causing... a paradox....sigh... whatever... don't think about it i gues dlksjf

ok but it was always obvious they could get another totem lol mxy said there was a set in every single planet and everyone in this show can travel to other planets like it’s the bar on the next street.... it was always a shortsighted plan idk what they are surprised about. they did not pay attention to myx’s explenation.

oh never mind is not even that is that “they can’t be destroyed”. how convenient that they make up new rules for how these things work every eisode!

the effect of them flying around the dreamscape was a nice visual i don’t care about lex and his emotions i don't care i don’t caaare

so much exposition i’m tired

esme baby

hehe “quirrel”

i’m so happy this show is over tonight. freedom at last.

why is brainny going back now this is so dumb and obviously done to up he stakes there was no foreshadow for this i hate this

why doe brainny “have” to do this.,, is he the only member of his species.

jesse makin diamonds out of this carbon script

this is such a fabricated conflict lol i hate this show

i still think they should have gotten oliver to do these totem  voice overs. wasted opportunity.

i’m tired of nxly. way to suck the fun out of a villain. too much damn emotions i wanted HIJINKCS.

“hey bud!” SHE’S SO CUTE lol alex got so defensive shut up alex she was just making a suggestion “it’s not dangerous to be an alien anymore” sure. of course. i mean esme did not face any troubles at all right. i mean you are an alien so you would know right alex?

i get what they are doing with this kind of “trans kids deserve to be themselves” allegory  but the way they do it is so stupid. having powers is not like being tranns esme is a little bb with no sense of morality developed yet nor control of her emotions. if she hurts another kid with her powers it is going to be a huge thing and her parents will (rightly) be accused of being iresponsible.

unpopular opinion but alex is an asshole and i never really liked her. shut up you military dog god. you are not the perfect parent the show wants us to think you are.

“you are going back to the future” i wish i was watching that right now.

this drama is so frabicatedddd ddd ughhhhhhhh WHO CARES ABOUT LEX AND NXYLYS LOVE STORY THIS IS THE SECOND TO LAST EPISOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODE *fumes

*abed nadir voice*  i remember when this show was about supergirl

hehe lena and andrea’s skype call

who cares about why andrea did if it turns the public’s opinions against lex. i’m so tired of this show and it’s centrist bs i can’t believe i put up with it for 6 years

kara didn’t even suggest hiding esme’s IDENTITY she suggested CONTROLLING HER POWERS

again i get this is like a trans allegory but what it really feels like to me is like a transmed argument that “oh no we cant give kids medication it will suppress their NATURAL SELVESSS wah wah wah”. like that forest episode on that season of doctor who. let people get medicated if they need it for the love of god. this conversation is so blalantly made to make us like william before he dies. im onto u show.

nice job adding william’s indian background at the eleventh hour when it will no longer be relevant!!! you are so progressive show!!! wow have a cookie!!!  wow!!!!!

THEY ARE SO STUPID. IT’S OBVIOUSLY THE TOTEM. THE TOTEM IS A ROSE YOU WERE JUST TOLD TOTEMS CAN’T DISAPPEAR AND THE TOTEM DISAPPEARED.  WHY ARE YOU GUYS SO DUMB. WHY ARE THESE SUPER-GENIUS CHARACTERS SO INCAPABLE OF CONNECTING THE DOTS.

the suits look cool

also lol no them having kara in her own luher suit paralleling lex. a sacanagem desta serie meu deus do ceu.

I like mitch fight me.

all these suits got me in the mood to play metroid prime (another activity that is better than watching supergirl lol)

at least the animators work hard.

esmas zebra plushiesss <3 WHY IS WILLIAM HERE WHY IS HE INVITED TO THE PARTY. YOU WERE JUST SUPPOSED TO SHADOW IN THE SUPERFRIENDS WORK NOT THEIR PERSONAL LIVES.

“I’m sorry too” you are not forgiven, alex.

lol them doing this superhero identities vs queer people in the closet parallel  more explicitly than ever... oh, show...

nxylys i’m tired of being alone... paralleling karas i don’t want to be alone anymore... amazing.

i love nxylx’s lapels. peak style.

the way lex interrumpted the kiss makes me think he is manipulating her

lena’s and brainny’s yearning looks... interesting cinematographic choices.

kara you huge-ass pansexual dork

everyone is looking quite fly at this party

if they don’t find a way for brainny to stay in the present i’m gonna be so pissed lol

like it-s not like they couldn’t have done this tragic twist. that’s not the problem. the problem is leaving a twist like this for the second to last episode with no build up previous and also not justifying the merging with big brain with anything but words / empty exposition. it’s such empty drama.

heh, great brittish bake off mention. lol them traumatizing super-hearing esme with this death. way to go show.

the tower’s security system vs star labs security system who wins in a fight

am i supposed to believe there-s no alarm system in the tower...like some kind of red button william could have pressed.... some big bat signal... anything.unpopular opinion but william not calling for help was so selfish of and shortsighted. dude you have superhero friends that were looking for lex and could have gotten there in less than a  second (superspeed). he wanted the glory of being a martyr. i do not feel sorry for this guy sorry fandom.

alex and kelly never showed a picture of nxylx_ their biggest enemy_ this show really thinks we are idiots...

i wish he HAD leaked his journals that would give this scene more power.

fandom> “pls dont make this last season about lex” show> “we’re gonna give lex the most screentime ever and also a vulnerable love story!”

lmao william is so vindictive he used his last words as a fuck you to andrea. rip mary i guess. how can people like this character

how convenient they only connected the re: the totem until it was too late.

and now alex was proven right and kara wrong that they shouldn’t have gotten a day off lol

people were right this is one of the worst episodes in the series lol

[sharkmobster]

So whats you’re interpretation on Funtime Foxy? We have the awkward sibling dynamic of Michael and Baby, the slight animosity of FF and the “cold but a little trusting” thing with Ballora. But I don’t think we’ve gotten anything on the Fox yet??

*cracks my knuckles* I GET TO TALK ABOUT FUNTIME FOXY YEYYEYEYEYE

ok so my interpretation of Funtime Foxy is that he (i like to think that ft foxy goes by he/they but gets misgendered by the hand unit.......... like a lot....... remind me to talk about ft foxy and circus baby and how they both struggle with the gender binary or lack of gender binary lakdjsf) tends to be a loner. Which is definitely not at all like the animal they’re based on. They’re incredibly distrusting of Michael and tend to isolate themselves away from the others as well. Hiding away in a room that’s away from everyone, ala the original Foxy and his Pirate Cove.

Whereas Ft Freddy didn’t trust Michael at first but still interacted with him in some kinda way (albeit in very mean ways alkjdf) Ft Foxy did the exact opposite which was to hide away and all out ignore him. He’s not outwardly violent or aggressive towards Michael but they make it well known that they want nothing to do with him. Obviously, Michael has nothing to do with their imprisonment (still kinda running with the theme of michael dealing with the fallout of his father’s actions but taking the responsibility of it all onto his shoulders anyway) but he shows a clear distaste and distrust towards humans in general, even if Michael is the only human they really only interact with. Michael and Ft Foxy’s relationship can be described as incredibly strained. 

I kinda characterize Foxy as being a bit of a hypochondriac, incredibly aware of the idea of mortality and that even tho they’re technically immune to death they’re still susceptible to breaking down or damaging their A.I. in a way that could ‘kill’ them. Foxy has killed before so they’re at least aware of the natural human fear of death. It’s imprinted into their A.I. in a way that the others didn’t experience. Whichhhh means that the first few months for him were incredibly hell-ish bc some days he experienced a twitch/glitch in the servos of their limb but couldn’t bring themself to ask for help from the others (and especially not Michael). Ft Freddy eventually forced his way into his space (which is a big problem that ft freddy has: his lack of respect for everyone’s personal and emotional space) and dragged him out of his safe space only to force Michael and Ft foxy into an uncomfortable situation that they have to follow through with bc ft freddy’s impatient nature. michael does run maintenance on ft foxy but only when ft foxy gives the okay to do so (showing that michael respects their boundaries) 

 Ft foxy experiences anxiety and ptsd (once again, another thing that michael has in common with a funtime) but he’s not sure how to cope with it in a healthy way. Because how could he know? Michael’s not even really sure how to cope with his own, yet he knows when he’s falling into a spiral, something that ft foxy can’t recognize. I feel like im getting super rambly cause im trying to explain how ft foxy ticks as well as how he and michael interact and how they eventually come to terms with each other but alsdjfk i ended up getting super into overexplaining asldfkj. but ok ok anyway michael isn’t necessarily the therapist friend to ft foxy it’s more like they both find value in each other and their similarities, like their fear of death and their need to isolate when it gets too bad. it’s more like they both end up becoming more comfortable with their trauma (which im now realizing is a term that i love to sling around when talking about these guys but damnit i call em like i see em and they all experienced some kinda trauma and hurt from what they all had to go through and that’s thtat on that) and therefore more comfortable with each other. there’s a lot of healing in this au which is what i sought out to do with this story, to explore the possible trauma that they all could face and working through it  and maybe im projecting but we don’t have time to unpack all that. and i think that’s incredibly transparent in how i frame ft freddy and ft foxy’s relationship with michael.

in summary: michael and ft foxy learn to coexist with each other through patience and understanding of each other’s boundaries (which ft foxy does learn to respect michael and essentially learns michael’s own boundaries. making him like...one of the first funtimes to actually respect michael’s personal/emotional space which can’t be said for the others since most of the others do have striking and blunt personalities that don’t allow for coddling. which is something michael very much appreciates). They do become close but more in the emotional sense since ft foxy isn’t as physical with affection like ft freddy is. when ft freddy likes you he reminds you of that everyday often using physical reassurance to voice this to you. Ft foxy leaves lil trinkets on your bed and does thoughtful things like setting his alarm clock for work when michael stays up too late and forgets to set it himself, or attempting to get michael to eat when he’s too involved in a personal project. just little things like that. and oof ok i rambled way too long and it’s late and i have no idea if this is legible but im posting this anyway so i hope it’s easy to understand!

[todaytomorrowgiraff]

hello! i was scrolling thru the frenrey tag and i saw ur post abt frenrey fics and read thru some comments and i just wanted to try to clear this up bc like it could be bad? someone replied w a threat abt if ppl wrote frenrey as predatory they'd kill them, and while yeah joke threatening is rlly fucking awful especially towards ppl u don't kno, i just wanted to ask why like instead of going a bit more into it u just left the possibility that writing mlm relationships as predatory wasn't an actual issue and was just something "uncomfortable?" it's definitely uncomfortable, it's been a real issue w ppl who rn't mlm writing or making that a common trope. it's been damaging to their community. of course addressing that you don't want threats on your posts is a good thing and boundaries are good to set, i don't blame you for telling them to leave you alone about that, i just got a generally bad vibe from the rest of the reply. sorry, this was a long thing to read and i hope it doesn't mess up your day too horribly.

Ok, so I didn’t answer the person because I make a point of only debating with people who actually tries to debate with me. Why would I answer a person who only wanted their opinion heard and threatened people in the process? I’m too old for that shit. You on the other hand pose a valid question and I feel like this can be a good learning opportunity for you younger people on tumblr. 

I want to start out with that I’m saying this as a queer person who has read fanfics and been in fandoms for 20 years. And as a person who’s job it is to teach about literature and story telling structures. I’ve studied this shit.

So lets talk tropes. Most of you already know why certain tropes are harmful for certain groups. In the case of the predatory gay it’s harmful when used in main stream media because it helps paint the picture of gay and queer people as dangerous and predatory. 

So why is it different when the same tropes are used in fan fiction? Shouldn’t that also be bad? Not necessarily. Now the big difference here is context. This is something I feel lot of people who only learn about these kinds of things in online settings fail to see. When it comes to tropes in storytelling context is everything. Lets look at the context of HLVRAI fan fiction. It is written by singular people for free, not giant companies making money of stereotypes. It’s written in a community that is largely made up of queer people (honestly I’ve yet to find a cis het person in any of the servers I’m in XD). Lastly frenrey is a queer relationship which means all the fanfics written with this ship has queer representation. 

Now as you see, the context here (independent writer who writes for free in a community largely made up of queer people with only queer representation) is very different from when the same trope is featured in main stream media (Big companies making money and reaching a diverse audience and often featuring very little queer representation). The trope in the fanfic setting will not harm in the same way it would in the main stream setting. It won't teach people that queer people are predatory because the people reading it are either queer themselves or have seen enough different representations on other fanfics to know this is not the case. Therefor the trope in this context is at worse upsetting or uncomfortable for someone reading it. Which is why tags exists. 

You also have to take into consideration that fan fic writers don’t create these character, they interpret them from the source material. Benrey in the show is acting kinda predatory at times. He flirts kind of aggressively with Gordon who clearly shows it makes him uncomfortable. Now does this make HLVRAI bad because they use this trope? No, again we have to see to the context. This is a friend group (which contains several queer people) who improvises a story on the fly. The way they act is how they usually act and joke with each other. 

So if people chooses to use this aspect of Benrey’s character in their writing they’re also not just making up a predatory gay character from scratch, they’re interpreting the source material. 

I hope this little rant might help to widen the perspective for some folks of tropes in media. Just because a trope is bad in one context, doesn’t mean it is in another. You have to see the wider picture in this, it’s not a black or white issue. 

TLDR: When we consume any type of media we always have to be aware of in what context it has been made and how we consume it. Trope that are harmful in main stream media does not necessarily have to have the same harmful impact when written in fan fiction. 

[generalfoolish]

Feel The Heat

Part Two: Something More

Pairing: Frankie Morales x OC Juniper Collins

Rating: 18+ (b/c minors shouldn't lurk, it is illegal and not polite.) But this is big fluff, just more exposition and pining and world building. I do curse, so there's that.

Word Count: 4k+

Summary: June and Frankie are big idiots, and they keep bumping into each other in the wildest of places. Again, and I can't overstate this: they’re both MASSIVE idiots.

A/N: Hey babes! This is going a little slower bc I want to give more with each update, I normally keep around 1K and these are little beasts. But I'm excited with the story, some threads are exposing themselves, and there will be more Frankie X OC time in the next part. For now, enjoy this little taste of yearning and pining and overthinking and general angst over meeting a cute new somebody. 💕

Masterlist | Part One | Part Three

June checked her phone as she stirred the pot, and groaned at the email count. More than half were parents who “couldn’t” make the conference, and the rest were from her principal wanting to reiterate the importance of those meetings. She dropped the phone back to the counter, and focused on her pot. She had googled what to do with Brandywines, and had decided on a slowly simmered tomato sauce. It paired beautifully with the fresh garlic and basil she had picked up, and the whole house smelled like an Italian restaurant.

This was her favorite way to use up produce in the summer. She spent hours simmering and canning, and got to enjoy the fruits of her labor in the dead of winter. She knew she could easily gift the sauce made from those beautiful tomatoes, and she had every intention of doing so.

Sundays passed so quickly, she hardly had time to dwell on the farmer, but when she caught a whiff of her stove she had to find something to do. She worked through the emails, sending reminders that the conferences were mandatory, and that if the parents couldn’t make it during the week before or after school, she was available to meet online. She fought the temptation to open her weekends. She was working on work boundaries with her therapist.

June had an easier time fighting off thoughts of the farmer as the day waned on, and she thought, foolishly, that she could just forget the brown eyed grump she had met.

--

Frankie was having a hard time focusing on anything. Liv was a bundle of energy, and he tried not to snap at her. He had her come help him in the garden, but he ended up sending her to dig for worms after she trampled another vine.

“Ew! Worms are gross.” She argued.

“I know, but didn’t you want to go fishing? Fish eat worms, it’s how we can get them out of the water.” He explained, carefully. She considered him, then bounded off, calling out to the worms. He chuckled watching her, and went back to pulling weeds. With a moment of quiet, his mind flitted back to the woman. He couldn’t help it. He had dreamt of her. She was lounging in the back of his mind, waiting for him to stumble into the memory. Liv was a good distraction, but she only held the woman at bay for so long. He grumbled and wiped his brow. He decided to give it up for now, the woman and the weeding.

“Princess, I think we have some hotdogs. Let’s try those.” He called over to Liv, who excitedly left behind her freshly dug hole.

“Daddy, Mrs. Becka wanted me to remind you about the school stuff.” Liv told him, grabbing his hand as they walked. He exhaled sharply. He had forgotten the meetings. He pulled his phone from his pocket and scrolled through Becka’s texts. She had sent him the teacher’s number at some point, he knew, the trouble was finding it. Finally, he clicked the blue hyper-linked number and called it. Liv ran inside ahead of him, looking for the hot dogs, and he waited at the door as the phone rang.

“Hello?” Ms. Collins answered breathlessly, and he cleared his throat.

“Ms. Collins? It’s Olivia Morales’ dad, calling about the meeting?” He heard something clatter on the other end. “Is now an okay time?”

“Yes, sorry, Mr. Morales, I was just...it doesn’t matter. My schedule is a little tight, when did you have in mind?”

“Something early, maybe before drop-off?”

“Sure, uhm, let me check my calendar,” She sounded distant, he thought, probably on speaker. “Yeah, Tuesday morning? I know that’s quick, it is all I have though.”

“Yeah, I can be there. Like 7am?”

“Yes, that’s great. See you then.” The line disconnected and he couldn’t shake the feeling that he’d heard her voice before. He rolled his eyes at himself, of course he had. She was his daughter’s teacher. As if on cue, Liv ran out with a hot dog. He smiled brightly and ruffled her hair.

“‘Kay, kiddo, let’s go catch some fish.” She grinned at him brightly, showing off the hole her first lost tooth had made. His heart caught as he realized she was growing up so fast.

--

“Monday’s really are the worst.” June laughed. She had her mom on the phone, connected through Bluetooth. “I’m just leaving the school now!”

“I just don’t see why you’re having to set these meetings up now. The kids have hardly been in school for a couple of weeks.” June sighed as she merged on the highway to head home.

“I know, it's just something my district does. The hard part is wrangling parents.”

“Well, if you had any children, you’d know how much they require of you.” June rolled her eyes and exhaled through her nose. Her mom was always quick to bring up her lack of a partner and children. Not that June didn’t want those things, they just haven't panned out for her yet.

“Yeah, Mom, I’m sure you’re right.” She acquiesced, knowing the argument wasn’t worth the effort.

“Have you met anyone? You’re only getting older, you know.”

“Thanks Mom. Uh, I have a date tomorrow night, actually.”

“Well, what’s his name, do I know him? What does he do for work?” June rolled her eyes, and wondered why she had answered the call.

“I don’t know anything about him. It’s a blind date.”

“Not even a name?” June bit her lip, debating telling her Mom the nickname.

“He’s ex-Army, goes by Fish. That’s all I know. Oh, and he’s single. A new teacher sat it up for me.” June explained, hoping her Mom wouldn’t have much to say.

“Fish? Oh, wow. Terrence really messed you up, huh.”

“I’m getting a call from a parent, I’ll talk to you later.” June lied, ending the call. Terrence had really messed her up. Not that that was of any importance to her dating life, or this blind date’s name. She sighed hard as she pulled into her driveway.

“Monday’s really are the worst.” She told the empty space of her car. She grabbed her bag and hurried inside. It had been a long day, and she was ready to polish off her bottle of wine from the night before. She walked in and let her bag drop to the floor, and crossed to the staircase. She groaned as she climbed the stairs. She was exhausted and still had a ton left to do.

June stripped quickly and threw on her yard work clothes. She stopped by the kitchen and poured some wine into a cup with a lid, before making her way outside. The day before she had started a small garden, and she was determined to make something grow out of it. She had no idea what she was doing, though. The wine wasn’t really helping either.

She had been short with a few parents while she was tending the fragile plants. It was a little late in the season to try and start anything, but she had picked up some discount plants that she wanted to help limp along for a little longer. She hoped she hadn’t put any of the parents off, and tried to remember who all had called.

June wiped her forehead with her gloved hand and tried to sort them out. Steven’s mom, Cynthia, was meeting her during lunch. That would be short, thankfully. Steven was a good kid, quiet. Graham and Ginger’s grandma was coming Wednesday afternoon, the parents were out of the country for something. Mia’s dad was going to call during the planning period. Ashley’s mom was coming Tuesday afternoon. And Olivia’s dad was coming Tuesday morning. June felt her shoulders sag, and she drained her wine. That wasn’t even half of the parents left.

She gave up on the garden and stalked inside. She wanted to scare up something for dinner, but didn’t really feel like making anything. She gave in and called the local Indian place. They knew her order, and said they’d be there soon. She grimaced, wondering how much money she had spent on Vindaloo over the years, and decided not to think about it. She had enough time to slip in the shower to wash the sweat off, before the delivery guy knocked on her door. She tipped him generously, and sat down on the couch.

June clicked the tv on and scrolled through her watch list. She settled on some mind-numbing detective show, and ate half of the curry. She put the rest away, and grabbed her bag by the door. The bag was a mess, but she managed to find her red pen and the papers that needed grading, and she settled back in.

Soon, the mindless task paired with a full stomach and the wine had her falling into a deep sleep.

--

Frankie was pissed. He was giving up the best time of the day for harvesting to meet with Liv’s teacher, and Ms. Collins couldn’t be bothered to show up. His thoughts went back to the phone call the day before, and he gritted his teeth as he realized she had put him off twice. Over something she had wanted to set up. He’d gotten the bundles of paper she had sent home on it. Yet, here he was, and she was nowhere to be found. He pulled his phone out, and considered punching in her number, but stopped himself.

Frankie had to exhale deeply four times before he could lay his phone down. He had gotten here a little early, and it was just now 7 am, and he didn’t have a set schedule. Liv was with Ashley, Becka had insisted on taking them to drop off so he could have plenty of time with Ms. Collins. Not that it mattered now, he thought, dryly. At ten past, he pulled his phone back out, and brought her name up. He was angry again, and had every intention of calling. But before he could press her name, the door swung open, and his heart dropped.

~~

June woke with a start. The birds were singing outside, the light was all wrong, and she was on the couch. Shit, she thought, jumping up. Shit, shit, shit. She had overslept. She hurried up the stairs and threw on something presentable, and didn’t even check herself in the mirror. She could do her makeup in the class. She grabbed up the half graded papers and shoved them in her bag, and ran out the door. She dumped everything in the passenger seat and drove much faster than usual. She was about halfway to the school when she realized she was meeting a student’s parent this morning. She hadn’t had any coffee, and her brain was starting to slow down from the adrenaline of being late, and she could not remember who she was meeting. She parked, and popped her vanity mirror down and grimaced. She looked like she was having a bad morning. She decided to throw her hair up in a messy bun, and grabbed the mess up from her passenger seat.

She basically ran into the building, her flats ricocheting sound off the concrete walls. She swung her door open, apologies already falling from her lips, when she looked at the parent. The apologies died on her lips, and her mouth fell open.

“You?” She asked, dumbly. “Frankie?” He looked like he had seen a ghost, a bitchy ghost, she grimaced.

“You?” He stood now, and started to move to her.

“Uhm, you can’t be here. I’m meeting a student’s parent, and how’d you even know where to find me?” She started rambling, but when the words were out she realized how stupid they were. “Oh my god, you’re the parent?” She barked out a laugh, and dumped her bag on her desk. He grinned, and wiped the back of his neck.

“Liv’s dad. I’m Frankie Morales.” He told her, faltering from shaking her hand.

“Perfect. I’m Juniper Collins, you can call me June, or Ms. Collins, whatever you prefer. I’m sorry I’m late, I...I started a garden yesterday and wore myself out. That’s what I was doing when we spoke on the phone,” She told him, laughing. June had only tried gardening because she wanted a common foot with him. She didn’t want to tell him that yet, though. “Anyway, let’s get to Liv. Liv is a great girl, Mr. Morales.”

“Frankie.” He interrupted, with a small smile.

“Okay, Frankie. Look, Liv is great, she really is. She struggles in class sometimes, though. She is smart as hell, but she seems to struggle. I wanted to give you some information about ADD or ADHD. It presents differently in girls, and is often overlooked. I haven’t known her long, obviously, but I actually was diagnosed much later in life, and I remember doing some of the things she’s doing. Would you be interested in some info on that?” June asked carefully, their relationship was rocky and weird, and she didn’t want to overstep. This was her job, though. It was a little bit not her job, actually. But she always wanted to look out for her girls, especially when they were as smart and incredible as Liv.

“Oh, wow. I had no idea she was struggling.” Frankie muttered, and removed his cap. June sucked in a sharp breath at his light brown, bouncy curls as they spilled out. He was beautiful. She distracted herself by moving behind her desk and grabbing a folder she had laid out for Liv, for this exact reason, and she thanked her past self for being put together. Then she went and sat beside him at the small activity table. She felt comical sitting next to him in the small chairs, he was spilling over his own. She laid down the folder and put a hand on his arm.

“Look, it isn’t a struggle that she notices yet. It’s her recall, her attention span, and her ability to focus. That sounds like a lot, I know, but there’s a simple test, and there are effective alternatives to stimulants. I’m on one, and it really helped me. Life is only going to get harder for her, if she has it and it remains untreated, but she has no idea. She isn’t “different” yet, and she’s doing so, so well in class. She is a model student. I just want to help, that’s all.” She watched his face as she spoke, and by the end, he seemed defeated.

“I should have noticed. I’m her dad. I...I’ve been worried I’m not around enough, and now you drop this on me.” He laughed dryly. She patted his arm.

“Liv talks about you all the time. She loves you, Frankie. She tells us all the time about her pilot dad.” June said it before she had time to think, before she connected “Liv’s Dad” with Frankie, the man before her. And then, her big mouth spit out something she wanted to take back immediately. “But you’re a farmer, right?” He looked up into her eyes, and his face was hard.

“Anything else you wanted to tell me about Liv?” His words were right, but the tone was too harsh. June flinched back from him, and dropped her gaze from his suddenly hard face.

“Liv is a great girl. She’s great to have in class. I have nothing else for you.” June told him monotonically, going on autopilot so as not to cry. She had spent the whole weekend thinking about him, then she had planted a stupid garden to have more in common with him, and then fate brought them back together, and she screwed it up again. She decided it was done, then. Frankie Morales was not in the cards for her. Sure, she might see him again because she taught his daughter, but she was through thinking of him like that.

“Good. I have to get going, next time try to be on time.” He scolded, as he stood abruptly and left without another word. Slowly, June followed and shut the door behind him. Alone, at last, she started crying.

~~~

“Idiot. You fucking idiot.” Frankie berated himself in his truck. He couldn’t believe it when she swept into the room. He had found her. Not her, he thought with a grimace, Juniper. The name felt so appropriate. It was an old name, but it suited her so perfectly. He exhaled roughly and tried to rewrite the scene. She was looking out for Liv. She wanted Liv to be happy and succeed. This woman cared more about his daughter than Liv’s own mother. And as soon as she tried to get to know him, he bit her head off and made her feel bad for being late. Jesus, what a dick. He had found her, and in a single moment, he had managed to ruin it again.

He put the truck in drive and headed home. Nothing left to do here, he thought bitterly. He was pulling up the driveway when he remembered that she had started a garden. It wasn’t a coincidence, he realized. She had started a garden because of him. He parked the truck and laid his head against the steering wheel. He had pushed her away at every turn. The market, the bar, and now at the school. He had seen her face before he left, and knew it was done. He had pushed too far, too fast. Of course, she would want nothing more to do with him. He had done nothing but treat her like shit.

He got out of the truck and threw his hat. It didn’t do much except get his cap dirty, but it was all he could do. He pulled his phone out, and pulled her name up. He typed a long message, and erased it. Then he tried again, and erased it again. His pride was getting in the way. He couldn’t tell her about his piloting years. The army, spec ops, Colombia, the coke, or any of it. She could just hate him, and then he couldn’t hurt her anymore.

~~~~

June paced up and down her classroom. Her face was puffy, still, and she had been struggling to focus all day. She couldn’t meet anyone new for dinner; she wasn’t in the right headspace for a date. Let alone one where she would have to leave a lasting impression. She chewed her thumb nail before heading down the hall.

Samantha's classroom was pretty close to her own, and June was glad for it. If she had had to walk further she would have lost her nerve. June knocked tentatively on the door, before pulling it open. Samantha looked up and grinned.

"Hey girl! Are you excited for your big date tonight?" June’s own smile fell from her face.

"Actually, that's why I'm here. I want to cancel." Samantha's smile pulled down quickly.

"Why?"

"I'm having kind of a bad day for impressions," June told her flatly.

"Well, I couldn't if I wanted to. Santiago is out of town, no reception. I don't have the friend's number." June groaned.

"Okay, alright. Ugh, probably for the best. Do you know anything else about him? I’ve had kind of a rough day. You said, ex-military right?”

“Yeah, Santi doesn’t really talk about that time, and I haven’t pushed it. I met him a while back, Fish. He’s sweet. I think he’ll be your type. You like tan brunettes?” June nodded, laughing and thinking about Frankie Morales again.

“He’ll be perfect. Doesn’t say much and likes beer, that’s all I know.” Samantha gave a small shrug.

“Alright, thanks. I’ll let you finish eating.” June said, excusing herself.

She left feeling defeated. A parent was going to be late this afternoon, she had gotten the email after the Frankie disaster. Which meant that she was going to be late to dinner. She wasn't killing it in the men department so she hoped that despite a military background he wouldn't mind her tardiness. She couldn't handle another horrible scene like the one from this morning.

The rest of the day was uneventful, which she was glad for. Her nerves were on the edge. She tried to ignore how much Liv favored her dad, and how she loudly told the class about their upcoming camping trip. She found herself listening intently, despite herself. And even chuckled at the girl’s memories of the last trip. June’s mood improved with the day, too. She even played a little music in the background while the kids worked on their worksheets.

By the time she had hauled herself into her car, the last thing she wanted to do was go to dinner. But she swiped on her favorite lipstick and drove to the restaurant. If she broke the speed limit, she would only be about five minutes late, and she pushed it. She wanted to drink some wine, and forget about Frankie Morales. Another tan brunette in her life would do her good, she thought happily. She was tired, but she wanted to make the most of it.

---

Frankie was looking back and forth between the menu and his watch. He couldn't believe that another woman was about to be late on him. He was trying hard to get June out of his mind, and his blind date wasn't making it easy on him. He chuckled when he realized what he was doing. Just meeting a total stranger for dinner. He didn't have much choice in the matter, he thought, remembering how Pope had basically told him where and when, without asking if Frankie was even interested.

She had good taste, he conceded. This was his favorite spot. They made amazing, fresh pasta. He was eyeing the cocktail menu, when she rushed in. He couldn't believe he was running into her again.

It was June, because of course it was. She was flushed, probably late again, he huffed, but she had put on a bright red lipstick that made his heart stutter. He lowered his gaze back to the menu. He hoped she wouldn't see him out on a date, even if he saw her. The hope was short lived because she made her way to him, her eyes glinting with an emotion he couldn't place, and she exhaled deeply.

"Let me guess, your call sign is Fish, right?" His eyes snapped to hers and she laughed while nodding. It was her. He had found her again. The waiter walked over and she told him to bring a bottle of red, and a beer for him. He told the waiter his brand, and raked his eyes over her.

"Sorry I'm late, I had a crazy day." She mused once she had taken two deep sips of her wine.

"Yeah? What is it you do?" He asked, hoping beyond hope that this was their start over. Their fourth, or so, start over.

"Teacher. Yeah, I teach. Most days it's easy, but some days there are parents." She told him, her cheeks flushed.

"Hopefully, no jerks?" He asked, quickly taking a sip of his beer. She held her head to the side before she sighed.

"I don't know what's going on here, Frankie. It's kind of exhausting. I think you're pretty handsome, you grow amazing food, you have a beautiful daughter, but I think we just keep messing up. How about, just for now, we enjoy this meal and the company, and tomorrow we can talk about what it means that we can't keep away from each other?" He searched her eyes. She was tired, he could tell, but she was so sincere. He wanted desperately to know why she sat down instead of just leaving. He wanted to know why they were seemingly so connected. He wanted to know if he'd been on her mind too.

"I'm thinking the carbonara." He answered, and she smiled before looking the menu over herself. The rest could wait. He had found her again.”

[thevoidcannotbefilled]

Its been a while and I dont remember it well, what happened with the w359 finale?

Ooof okay. To you and the other anon here’s my answer. I’m not blind myself, so if I say something out of line, please tell me and I’ll make correction. But here we go: 

Dr. Miranda Pryce was introduced in the final season as one of the main big bad villains of the show. She’s an AI specialized who created Hera, who we already know put the thought of “You’re Not Good Enough” in her head in order to control her. As we hear more of her, we learn that 1) she has a habit of punishing/abusing AIs in order to control them, even revels in it, and 2) she is willing and for the fun of it, used her technological abilities in order to essentially turn the crew on her ship into brain-dead soldiers, not quite dead but only living bc of her machines like human puppets. She also uses said technology to 1) torture information out of Eiffel’s brain and 2) turn everyone else into puppets. 

Overall the impression we get of her: She is a scientist who uses technology in order to control people in whatever means necessary because she finds the ability to control and change people both satisfying and amusing. 

Now, I set this background up to 1) remembering what happened in W359 and 2) the impression we get of this character. She is not sympathetic nor is she trying to be. And that’s fine! You don’t need those type of characters all the time, especially since W359 is FULL of characters that join our side after realizing they’re being used or help the team in one way or another because of sympathy. 

But then, we’re also told that she has cybernetic eyes. And at one point, she losing full sight in them after they were destroyed in an explosion that Eiffel caused. I won’t analyze up to this point how Pryce’s blindness was treated in universe. Again, I’m not an expert and there would be a lot of more subtle nuances I would be missing if I tried to analyze the writing. The only questionable part is having a blind villain when no other character other than arguably Hera are disabled. But also, again, I’m won’t make a fuss for the writing up to that point. 

HOWEVER WE GET TO THE FINALE AND OH BOY. 

The finale starts with a speech from Pryce. Summed up? Pryce was a blind orphan girl who was treated badly because she was blind and was creepy for making “dolls”. She then was recruited by Cutler in order to make AIs and eventually, get the technology to copy people and to change humanity in a way that in their eyes is “better”. IE: turning people into perfect puppets for them to control. 

Okay, lot to unpack there: 

1) In the speech Pryce repeatedly calls herself broken. In fact, describing herself as a “broken girl” when she was picked up by Cutler. Yes, the speech wasn’t literal and was meant to be like she was telling a story, but that doesn’t mean that it makes it any less ableist. No, it does not matter if the blind character is the only who is calling herself broken, 1) there are no other blind characters to counter that, 2) none of our heroes countered her, and 3) may I remind you she is 100% a villain. This means “I was blind and treated awfully for it. I wanted to change the world bc I was mad about I was treated and then went full dictator on things with less power than me” is one of our VILLAIN’S backstory. Idk if they were trying to have some humanity in her or what, but it does not work. This character is too far gone to make sympathetic especially in your finale episode. And if they weren’t trying to make her sympathetic, they were straight up saying, “This character felt so broken by how she was treated and her blindness that she used her skills in order to manipulate and hurt others for my own gain”. That just straight up demonizes blind people. It’s bad writing at best and straight up ableist at worst. 

2) This one is more subtle, but the general idea of technology being used to make people’s lives better, especially enhancements to the body being framed in a negative light has ableist elements in it. Because you know, technology isn’t the issue, it’s what people use technology for that’s the issue. For example, there’s a scene where Pryce is working on her eyes while someone else is in the room. The other person found the idea of talking to her while she didn’t have both eyes in unsettling. Ergo, the message is “cybernetic eyes are creepy”. In reality, technology that can be used to replace body parts, especially tricky things like eyes is so good!!! It shouldn’t be required to have, of course, (Some blind folks don’t mind being blind and people should always have control in regards to what happens to their body if it only affects their body!!!) but having the choice to repair your vision if you’d like is AMAZING. But the show sort of frames any sort of technology as invasive and inhumane. Another example, only the main villains have body modifications. Cutler made enhancements to his body to make it faster and stronger (which makes sense in character), but also with it, the implication that having body modifications makes him less humane. 

There’s a running theme in the show that humanity is a choice, a messy choice with messy lives, but one you make. With that, while the villains are human, they lose their humanity by not caring about others. Which good!!! Excellent theming!!! But, in Wolf 359, the villains also make body modifications to themselves, and only the villains. This builds on the long and tired trope of things like canes, braces, artificial limbs, and other similar things are a sign of villainy or inhumanity, as if adding these elements to yourself modifies your humanity. Which, just isn’t the case. This is especially strange in this series because we have an AI main character who struggles with being treated as human because she’s an AI, but definitely sees herself  and wants others to treat her as a person.

This is especially disappointing because the villains’ plan is to reshape people and make them “better”. Cutler’s plan is to turn humanity into mindless puppets for them to control. It’s a natural conclusion from “being utterly disposable when necessary” to “you’re being kept around because you’re useful” to “you’re useful, but we don’t care about your humanity, so we’re taking away all your humanity to control you”. You didn’t need the other stuff with the blindness and the implication that body enhancements at all to make this point. 

So, I won’t go on for longer, but TLDR: Wolf359′s finale has a blind character not only call herself broken but also has her be one of the main villains. A villain who doesn’t care for other’s boundaries and repeatedly uses her technological skills to modify others without permission. There are also undertones within the series that physical modification in general is creepy and invasive without nuance.  This could have easily been avoided within the narrative because most of this was added either within the final season or within the finale itself. That’s why parts of the final season and especially the finale are ableist. 

(If I’m overstepping, please tell me, and I’ll reblog additions/edit the post as necessary. This is meant to be an explanation because I got a few anons about it). 

[normal-thoughts-official]

Ahahah I'm not French, I used to study it in school but I forgot to take that language option off of my phone keyboard so I still deal with autocorrect tehee (I'm Welsh if you were curious)

I've never intentionally been biphobic, but total props to you for making sure your boundaries were set down to prevent bullshit anons. I can't remember my exact wording (so I'm sorry if it seemed like I was intentially being cruel) but I think I said I related more to Alec's queer experience than Magnus' which is just the truth in my case (at the time I was pretty in denial, and sad so despite Alec's character being butchered by cassandra clare I still found him pretty relatable when I was 14, in comparison to ultra confident magnus - which was just shitty writing)

Another fantasy and scifi thing I've kind of noticed is in retaliation to the chosen one you've kinda got the chosen bad guy. (Like in gotg2 u have this guy just destroying planets on his own?????? No followers no nothing - I rlly hate that movie but back 1 the point) But he never becomes a martyr, it feels very much like oh he's dead. My bad guys! He was just so persuasive! Like it never shows how these people are enabled into coming into power through money etc, or even legally. I feel like if voldy had been slowly changing the laws within the ministry while he was dead the whole thing would have had that added sense of realism, bc his supremacy would have been totally normalised in the eyes of the law. I don't know if its just fantasy trying to be fantasy and escape the real world but my minds like ok if someone murdered tr*mp there would be literal carnage what do u mean everybody realised the error of their ways???? To be fair this is just a continuation of everything you've already said

❤️❤️

ahh cool i was just curious. also, ur welsh, nice! happy belated Prince Philip Is Fucking Dead Day! drinks on me

and yeah okay if you mean by the story that makes sense, it just felt a bit like it was simply because he's gay so i was a bit uncomfortable but glad we cleared that up

also ur assessment is really true and i had never thought about that, but you are completely right, the evil ones are also kind of the chosen ones for evil, which always circles back into some maniqueist/essentialist thing which imo is always dangerous because if you imply some people are inherently evil, randomly deciding which people that is is just a minor extra step. and again helps people distance themselves from the villains like "that could never be me! he was chosen by god to be the worst"

in fact it's almost like their evilness only exists to uplift the main character and make his arc have higher stakes, which like, i know IS why villains exist in storytelling, but there is what the author is thinking and there is what the narrative is implying, and if you act like oppression is really just a great opportunity for a privileged person to grow, that's gonna have really bad implications dadjsadsjaiodsajdioas

and yeah it's so annoying like the oppression is literally just that person and once they are gone it's like everything is over suddenly. it's so weird and fucked up and i think it stems from again the idea that racism isn't/wasn't a historical and systemic problem. like, oh no, it wasn't the belgium state doing horrific things in congo, it was King Leopold. and like of course he should go down in the trash bin of history as the genocidal maniac that he was, along with everyone else like him (like prince philip!), but when we pretend that it was all about one person who rose to power we can very quickly make the state as a whole unaccountable for its crimes, you know?

[asterekmess]

1-11 Scott/Posey Stans always try to deflect criticism of the way Scott McCall is written in Teen Wolf by claiming that ANY attempt by a fan, a viewer, or a critic of holding Scott to a level of behavior that one would expect of a character who is a main and the self-proclaimed hero of the show is “racism”. Except that their accusations don’t make any sense whatsoever, because Scott’s canonical shitty actions and behavior don’t stem from his race (or canonical lack of thereof.)

Okay hun, this is a doozy, so I’m putting it under a Read More.

2-11 Scott McCall is mean. He’s mean to Stiles, he’s mean to Allison, he’s mean to Derek, he’s mean to Peter, he’s mean to Cora, he’s mean to Lydia, he’s mean to Jackson, he’s mean to Erica, he’s mean to Isaac, he’s mean to Malia, he’s mean to Malia, he’s mean to Kira, he’s mean to Liam, he’s mean to Chris, and he’s even mean to Theo (“You are barely even human!”) Scott McCall is deliberately rude to the Hales, Boyd, Ethan, Danny, Hayden, Jiang, Tierney, and Melissa.

3-11 Scott McCall deliberately USES, INSULTS, HUMILIATES and DEHUMANIZES people in ways that demonstrate that he is fully aware of what he’s doing. Scott McCall deliberately disregards other people’s needs in order to fulfill his own. Tyler Posey being half Mexican doesn’t change the fact that his fictional character Scott McCall is a whiny coward and an abusive piece of trash,

4-11 and that his so called ‘defense squad’ enjoys the power fantasy that Scott can be cruel, can lie, can assault, can lash out, can violate other people’s boundaries, bodily autonomy and consent, can commit premeditated murder, can break the law without impunity, can dehumanize, can gaslight and victim blame his friends to his heart’s content and no one should ever hold it against him

5-11 In both the production and in some Scott supremacist fanfics, there’s often the premise that people are evil and in the wrong if they call Scott out on his bullshit or hold his toxic behavior against him. Take Season 1. As much as the Scott McCall defense squad brigade love framing Stiles and Derek getting shit done and prioritizing people’s life over Scott’s jealous fits and temper tantrums as the height of depravity

6-11 Scott/Posey Stans consciously and steadfastly ignore all the cruel things that Scott says and does throughout the seasons, such as “How much Adderall have you had today?” OR “What are you trying to do?! I just made first line! I got a date with a girl who I can't believe wants to go out with me and everything in my life is perfect! Why are you trying to ruin it?!” OR “The hunters had a reason to slaughter your entire family and pack”

7-11 (As an aside, it’s amazing to me how Fanon rewrites Scott as this brilliant thinker and strategist and mastermind who is so much smarter and better than everyone else in every way even though Canon Scott spends the entirety of Teen Wolf doing absolutely nothing except get his ass handed to him by everyone, whining about wanting to be popular/get his dick wet/play lacrosse, screaming at his friends and girlfriends, being utterly useless when left to his own devices,

8-11 and planning to bite Stiles against his will because he doesn’t know what to do. But I digress.) Or take Season 5. In the rain argument in Lies of Omission (5x09), Scott McCall’s hypocritical, dehumanizing speech to Stiles is one of the meanest, cruelest, most disgusting manipulations I have ever seen a television character deliver to another television character they supposedly cared about. It’s victim blaming and gaslighting at its vilest.

9-11 And, of course, the Scott McCall defense squad focuses exclusively on the idea that Stiles didn’t behave “the right way” in that scene (AKA taking Scott’s bullshit without clapping back like Scott wanted and demanded), and cannot entertain for one moment the idea that Scott provoked that response by dehumanizing Stiles and by accusing Stiles of being a violent, dangerous, inhuman monster and serial killer based on Theo’s words alone.

10-11 After all, it’s part of their power fantasy. Scott being “abandoned” and “mistreated” by his “ungrateful” friends serves another type of fantasy: the poor oppressed martyr. It doesn’t matter why Scott is abandoned or who is leaving Scott, it’s all about Scott McCall’s right to own people and demand his friends’ love, friendship, loyalty, sympathy, forgiveness, obedience and devotion without having to account for his own abusive behavior.

11-11 And that’s Scott Stans’ point: Only Scott McCall Is Important and Damn Derek/Stiles/Liam/Other Teen Wolf character for having a life and motivations that don’t revolve around Scott! To them (and to Canon Scott), the pack exists not to serve all its members, but to serve and validate Scott McWhinyCall. Because, after all, that’s what antis want for themselves – validation in the face of shortcomings and bad behavior.

Wow, that was a lot of anger. Do you feel any better after venting that? I really hope so, it honestly looks p cathartic. Okay, I apologize in advance if I don’t come across as quite so passionate, I’m kinda bleh today and I already used up all my righteous fury in an earlier post, so I’ll do my best.

I honestly understand the worry about people disliking Scott as having racist motivations. As I said in another post, there aren’t a lot of Latino (wait, I read somewhere to use latine? Should I use that instead? I’ll use that, someone correct me if I’m wrong. The thing also said latinx was not great bc of pronunciation issues? I’m not educated enough on this. Halp, please.) Latine protagonist characters in popular television, especially for teen dramas like Teen Wolf. Intentional or not, written into the show or not, Scott is half-latine. His mother is a latine woman. We don’t see them speak spanish or take part in any specific cultural traditions, but that doesn’t make him white. Yes, his character was written for a white guy, but Tyler Posey is the one who got the part and we can’t strip him of his heritage just because the show originally meant for Scott to be white. My husband is almost always mistaken for white, even though he’s also half-latine, but that doesn’t make him any less latine. There’s little enough representation as it is, and if we start being picky about whether characters were ‘intended’ or ‘written’ as POC, everything will just fall to shit. Plus, as a white person, I have literally no rights to decide that Scott’s white. I’m cool with that. Would prefer to just stay in my lane, if I’m honest. With Scott established as being a POC, it’s totally reasonable for other POC and fans of Scott to be worried that those of us who don’t like him have that opinion because of either passive or active racism. There are a lot of occasions where Protags of Color were either liked less, or actively disliked for just being ‘not white.’ It also doesn’t help that Scott is one of very few “good” Characters of Color in TW (whether we agree or not, he is presented as a ‘good guy’). We have Boyd, who dies in 3A and doesn’t get much character developement in the meantime, and Kira, who sticks around for a while, then has to leave because of ‘losing control’ which is apparently a very common stereotype for POC, especially within Fantasy or Supernatural settings. Other than them, the other POC are either bad guys or just morally dubious. I’m not sure where Deaton falls on the scale either. I understand it being frustrating to some people for us to take one of the few “good’ characters and see him/describe him as a villain. It’s important for white people, and honestly, anyone not latine (because even POC can be racist against people who aren’t their race) to be self-aware and analyze the various reasons why we dislike Scott and make sure that we aren’t accidentally being passively racist. Just because we’re sure we aren’t, doesn’t mean we shouldn’t double check. And if we find we are, then it’s up to us to correct that mindset and educate ourselves. There is no shame in learning that you have not great habits or mindsets and working to fix them. That’s how growth works. It’s equally important that when we’re writing fic, we watch how we portray him and the other POC in the show. I’m not saying we can’t write Scott bashing fic. Fuck knows that I’ve written plenty of Bad Friend Scott McCall fic, and I don’t intend to stop. But we still need to be self-critical and make sure that we’re not writing Scott (or the others, please assume from here on out I’m saying Scott and the others) into racist stereotypes. We shouldn’t reduce him to just a “Yes” man, or make him constantly submissive, or constantly vicious and angry and mean for no reason. It’s one thing to write him as doing something bad or cruel and making it realistic for the story. It’s quite another to have him just randomly pop in to say “fuck you” and hit someone (I’m not referencing something specific here, I’m just saying dumb stuff). Honestly, I don’t know enough about this and I’m not really entitled to go into too much more detail. Instead, I’d recommend that even if you don’t think you’re hating Scott for racist reasons, still read This Post about racism in fandom/fanfic. When I read it, it was both reassuring and intimidating. I have anxiety, so I’m usually worried about doing things for ‘the wrong reason’ even when that’s not actually my reason for doing the thing. Reading this gave me a clearer view of my own thoughts, and it honestly made me feel a little more comfortable with my own mentality because it gave me a structure to think about and consider when I’m worried that I’m doing something racist. It’s worth the read. I’d also like to reiterate the suggestion on that post, to check out the blog Writing with Color, which is a great resource for writing Characters of Color. It doesn’t have as many resources for fanfiction writing and the grey area involved in writing characters that your reader already knows, but their ask box is closed at the moment, so maybe when it opens again someone’ll send in an ask about it (If I actually remember to, I’ll do it myself, but that’s unlikely, so if one of you feels so inspired, please do so and help a fic writer out!)

Now. I cannot speak for every single fan of TW who is anti-Scott in some way. Obviously not. But, I can speak for myself and for the experiences I’ve had within the fandom. My issues with Scott are many and complex and a lot of it is intrinsically connected to issues with the writing of the show in general and with the creators and the calls they made. In all the conversations that I’ve had with other fans, I’ve never seen anyone list Scott’s race as a problem. I’ve never seen anyone talk about how they wished he were more submissive or more obedient. Maybe that he would listen to actual adults once in a while, but not that he be unreasonably obedient of white characters. I’m not all-knowing on the subject of racist stereotypes, but nearly every complaint I’ve seen was based on details from the show and specific moments and dialogue, not just a general disgust with his existence. Furthermore, for all the anger I see directed at those of us that prefer Stiles, Derek, or even Peter, I’ve also never talked to anyone who liked those characters who wasn’t willing to admit that there were plenty of points in canon where they fucked up or did something wrong. Again, I don’t know everyone in fandom, so maybe there are people who won’t admit those things, but they aren’t in the majority.

I personally hate the way I see Scott treat people in the show. I hate the really vicious things he says and does and the chronic lack of self-awareness or growth. Even worse, the way the show excuses his behavior, be it intentional or not, has soured a lot of other parts of the show. The clearly impulsive moments that could easily be excused by him being a really stressed out teenager make me a lot more frustrated than they would, had I not known that he would never get better. That he would never stop saying things like that. I can’t even make myself enjoy the genuinely sweet moments with him and Allison or him and his mom, etc. I might hate that he left Stiles’ messages unanswered and skipped an entire day of school during a crisis to hang out with Allison, but I would’ve liked to enjoy their banter, the soft moments between them that are actually really nice. I can’t though, because so many other things about his character have ruined that for me.

It isn’t okay to attack people for disliking a character and throw around such charged words like “racist” and “abuse-apologist” or anything else. First off, this is fiction, and we all need to keep that in mind. These are not real people we’re talking about. Secondly, calling someone racist because they disagree with you (unless they are actively saying/doing something actually racist) isn’t okay and it isn’t an adult way to deal with things. Someone not liking a character doesn’t automatically make them racist. Someone happening to prefer a white character over a Character of Color doesn’t automatically make them racist. Sure, they might have passively racist motivations that even they don’t realize. But it is not up to strangers to come yell and call names without proof. There are plenty of reasons that have nothing to do with race (Not saying “i don’t see race.” I’m saying “Not About Race”) that I like Stiles over Scott, ranging from the fact that he’s physically more my type, to sharing a neurological condition with him, to just preferring Dylan O’Brien as an actor because he makes me fucking cry every time he cries on screen. What’s important is that we self analyze and check ourselves and our opinions to make sure that we aren’t falling into the racist habit of disliking Characters of Color for no real reason. But that isn’t something that other people can do for us, and it’s not their place to tell us what we think. Calling a stranger racist for saying they hate Scott’s behavior in the show doesn’t do anything for racial equality. It just makes people stop listening to the word ‘racist.’

There are times I seriously get frustrated with TW to the point of considering not watching anymore. Of closing my blog and stopping reading fanfic entirely because every single time I read a fic where Scott’s a ‘good guy’ or a ‘good alpha’ or where Derek is glad to be a beta again because he likes following Alpha Scott, I get squicked so badly I have to click out and just sit there for a second to settle. I can’t disentangle the things he does/says in the show from the fic.And I’ve written Good Friend Scott McCall fics. I have multiple wips where he’s either a decent person or he grows from being a dick to being a decent person. With my own work, I know that there’s an awareness to his behavior in the show and an active intent to rewrite/fix his behavior so that he is a nice person. With other people’s works, I don’t have a guarantee (unless it’s mentioned in tags or author’s notes, and I don’t expect people to have to explain themselves that way), and it personally makes me uncomfortable to read something when I don’t know if the writer actually sees Scott that way. It’s a personal preference, and one that I stick to pretty strictly.

Scott brings me no joy, and with him as the main character, I’ve come perilously close to cutting myself off from the most welcoming, loving fandom I’ve ever been a part of (except the Merlin fandom, but I don’t blame anyone who can’t compete with them. They’re fucking magical.). But I’m still here. I still love, if not the reality of the show, then all the potential I see in it when I watch. I love watching Derek and Stiles interact with each other and with the other side characters. I love seeing the glimpses of Boyd that we get, the tiny scenes of Erica, the snarky moments with Isaac. I even like Kira, though I haven’t seen a whole lot of the show where she’s in it/genuinely can’t remember it (I can’t even remember how far I’ve seen total, but I don’t think it was past S4, and I haven’t seen past S2 in months and months) and she spends most of her scenes with Scott, which just....kind of ruins the scenes for me.

That’s the glory of fandom though, of media in general. I don’t have to like Scott. I can love Derek and Stiles instead and I can choose not to read fics where Scott is a major player or an Alpha at all. I can read fics where Kira’s part of the pack without Scott ever getting involved, and see her interact with everyone else. Or fics where Boyd never dies and watch him bake or read or play lacrosse with the pack. I can curate my own experience, whether that means blocking tags or users or filtering fics, or just straight up skipping certain scenes/episodes of the show itself. I cope with my frustrations by coming on this blog and ranting about it. Yeah, this is a public space, but it’s also a space people choose to view. If they don’t like my opinions, they can block me or unfollow me or all of the above. They don’t have to read it, just like I don’t have to read any of their pro-scott stuff. I also read fic that does explore how Scott’s behavior is problematic and cruel sometimes. Fic that either erases him or turns him into the villain, I find fun and interesting and the relationship between him and Stiles cracking into pieces is something I find extremely cathartic, so I read it pretty much every chance I get (though, i’m so picky about fics I read, you’ve no idea). I also write fic. I write the most mushy, self-indulgent sterek fic and Stiles-centric fic and and Scott bashing fic that I can possibly write. It’s a joy and a therapy all its own. Fuck, I’m rewriting the entirety of canon for fuck’s sake and I’ve made so many changes that at this point I honestly have issues remembering what happens in the show, bc I rewrote the damn thing.

At the same time, Scott fans are gonna write their power fantasies. They’re gonna write anti-Stiles stuff and anti-Derek stuff, and whatever else tickles their fancy. They’re gonna make their own rant posts and gifsets. And to be quite honest, I don’t give a single flying fuck. I already have those tags filtered out on Ao3. I don’t follow any pro-scott tumblrs. That shit doesn’t show up for me most of the time, unless it’s not tagged properly, and even then I just click out, take a second, and move on.

No one is required to like or dislike specific characters, and it’s unfair of anyone to tell us otherwise. Fandom is built on choice. The choice to disagree with canon, or to re-envision it altogether, or to love it entirely. No one can take that away from you. So long as you aren’t hurting anybody, just keep doing you, friend. I’m here for you to vent to when it gets to be too much.

<3