#bc im really comfortable with treating myself like i do have adhd

[remcycl333]

Rem, I need a friend. I was recently diagnosed with BPD. I mention it because I think this issue has to with my condition, and I don't know if I'm wrong but I read a post from you once where you said you had BPD and ADHD –correct me if I'm wrong– and I thought maybe you can understand me.

Anyways, my issue is, I struggle deciding what I want. Recently I had a situation with a guy, he has ADHD and him being forgetful, triggered me and had me begging for his attention. He was very kind and never reacted badly, but then he ghosted me, which triggered me again. My mind keeps telling me maybe it was his ADHD and maybe he now just feels guilty and feels like it's too late to answer (it's been weeks). I planned on texting him again but I don't want to fall into this dynamic.

I was thinking, "if I want to date him I should just go to the end and focus on that". Then I was like "Do I really want to date him?" Then I had another thought of "Maybe I should move on" and then "Wait, I actually do want to date him" and then "No, I just want validation" and then "Nope, I don't give a damn about validation he ain't even that good" and then "I do like him, maybe we should date" and then "I don't even want to have a conversation with him" and then "I want to know more about him" the point is, I always start a process of manifesting something and then the next day (sometimes not even a day) I want something else, and it's a mess because I end up manifesting NOTHING, only more frustration.

Tbh, if I wasn't triggered, I would 100% like to date him. I mean I met him 6yrs ago and liked him for months (we never talked but we were classmates in uni and he was super hot), then never saw him again until this year and when I saw him I was so happy and excited, and the crush I had on him resurfaced and it felt like a new chance to try. Until now that I am feeling so confused, and when it seems like I made up my mind, I then remember why I'm triggered and slip out again, and when I have "given up", I want him again, and it's exhausting.

omggg yes, i do have bpd and adhd and this was so crazy to read cuz it was like i was talking to my younger self! i went thru the EXACT same situation with my old sp. i manifested him back after he broke up with me (and before he broke up with me he'd forget to text me back all the time bc of his adhd) and it would trigger me so bad and i'd start doing the most outrageous things. and then when i was manifesting him back, i'd also constantly go from "fuck him im better than him" to "i want him so bad i need him" to "he's just gonna ignore me again i hate him" and then "no he's the love of my life" to "if he texts me im not even gonna respond bc he doesn't deserve me." and i was in a cycle of that for MONTHS. but like you said, i knew that if he had never rejected me in the first place (and therefore triggered me) i wouldn't have felt like that and i'd still want him and see him only in a positive light.

i think that what really helped me was just going straight to the end, like you said. whenever i'd start overthinking about whether or not i actually wanted him, i'd take some deep breaths and just go to my imagination and experience a reality where my sp never ignored me and he treated me how i wanted to be treated. i also reminded myself of how long i had wanted to be with him, and that when all was said and done, even if i had made up my mind that day that i didn't want to be with him anymore, the next day i would be upset about not being with him again. i wouldn't have been stuck in the cycle for so long if i didn't actually want to be with him. i was just feeling hurt and lashing out.

i also found comfort in knowing that i could create a new version of my sp where he was attentive and gave me the amount of attention i needed and wanted. i didn't want to manifest his adhd away or anything, but i wanted to create a version of him that was able to remember to reply to me lol. i knew that as long as i imagined my sp to be the version that i wanted, he wouldn't show up in my 3d as the old version anymore. the only way he could ignore me or ghost me again was if i imagined that he would. if i focused on the version of him that didn't, however, he never would! so whenever i felt worried or anxious that he'd do that again, i'd retreat to my imagination and experience the version of him that i wanted.

another thing that really helped me was to forgive him. i was always angry at him and imagining getting into arguments with him about our break up and imagining what i'd say to him when i manifested contact. but the thing about that was i was manifesting "the end", and the end was us already being in a relationship together. so if we were already in a relationship together, we would have already talked through our past issues and i already would've forgiven him. so i couldn't manifest us being happy together and forgiving him if i was constantly imagining scenarios where i hadn't already forgiven him. if that makes sense?

these thoughts still naturally popped up all the time. "what if he doesn't change" "what if he does it again" etc. and then when we were back in contact again, "what if i say something wrong and he stops replying" etc. but i just kept persisting, and every time my minded wanted to go back to scenarios like that, i'd shift back to my desired state and tell myself that we were already together and there was no reason to worry about stuff like that anymore.

anyway i hope this helped!! if u have more questions feel free to ask <3

[lutawolf]

hi Luta, sunny sub🐛 here! thanks so much for responding to my previous messages and for your praise and support, it means a lot.

it’s another late late night here but here’s todays progress report before going to bed. i cleaned out expired food from the fridge and organized it, i cleaned and organized the kitchen pantry shelves. i made a dessert treat that i’d promised to make for my friend. then i moved to my room and planned & organized my new office/desk area, and reorganized my overflowing file folders and craft activity boxes. i also sewed a ripped item of clothing.

I didn’t get to doing any of my computer based tasks today bc i got a little carried away reorganizing, but i’m hoping to get to those tomorrow, especially since thats my last day off to get shit done before i go back to work. trying to cram what was supposed to be a weeks worth of work into 2.5 days is really exhausting, but i’m glad that at least im getting stuff done now. hopefully i don’t crash after pushing myself like this. anyways, thanks again for your kind words of support!

sending you my best xxx🐛

Hey sunny sub 🐛

Damn baby girl, you are getting it done. Look at you, I'm so proud of you. Do not forget to stay hydrated!

I'm still proud of you. When it comes to ADHD computer based tasks should be prioritized by importance. If you don't have a job that will be effected by it, sometimes having those tabs open are reassuring. It comforts us to know that we can come back to something we are sure we'll forget. In the string of things, comfort is sometimes more important than organization. The questions should always be, does this hurt me in any way or make me happy?

You've gotten a lot accomplished, so don't forget to take care of yourself. Hydrate! Plus do one thing for yourself that you've been wanting to do ie: paint nails, read a book, watch a drama. Do something for yourself as a reward for everything you've done. You've really done amazing and you deserve it.

Lots of love, Luta 💜💜💜

[starberry-skies]

all i can think abt

[draganasimpsforjeff]

Hi can I have a creepypasta match-up please if you have time no rush!

Im 5'5 and im biromantic, I lean on guys more than girls.

My style is punk but it change whatever mood im in, I have long wavy brown hair, hazel eyes, and tan skin!

My hobbies are playing video games, watching movies, going out shopping and listening to music. I really want motivation to paint and do art but im always tired

My favorite seasons are winter and autumn it just comforts me tbh, there's something about it lol

My personality type is intj, im usually calm and chill but sometimes I can get very chaotic when I feel like it.

My positive traits are being a good listener, protective, laid back, going with the flow.

My bad traits are self critical, getting frustrated and angry at small things, being sensitive or crying out of nowhere, being chaotic and feral.

My favorite animals are frogs, cats, bunnies and lizards!

I struggled alot with anxiety and depression, ocd, and possibly adhd (i have no clue but my doctor said I could probably have it) dissociation disorder.

My date ideals are probably looking at the night sky in the woods or at the beach, going to the movies and arcades. At home we'd just watch Netflix and spend time together! I don't mind cuddles or anykind of kiss!

My love language is quality time and giving gifts. <3

Thank you for doing this when you get the time I hope everything is going okay too!

Oh I feel so bad for how long you've had to wait! But I'm getting to it now 😋

I MATCH YOU WITH:

Bloody Painter

Ugh omg okay this is too cute

I feel like Helen is such a homebody that even with small things like going out to shop is a big move for him (he looks a bit more normal compared to others to so it help with going out in public

He needs a better wardrobe anyways as a lot of his clothes have paint stains

He's not really the type to play video games but he still enjoys watching you play or listening to you in the background especially when you rage quit 🤣🤣

If you have motivation to paint boy oh boy is he the best teacher

Everyone is under the impression they have to be the best especially with art. But art is subjective there is no wrong way to do it

However if you need to learn basics, he'll spent hours with you and share his tools

He also has beginner books for tips and ideas

But if you don't have motivation he has no problem with you just watching him while he still teaches you with his techniques

I feel like Helen would be such a shocker when it comes to date especially if it's in the woods, he'll set up a cute but reasonable date site like maybe some lights through tree branches, a table big enough for you, chairs, maybe some flowers in a vase

Lowkey feel like he's the type to find a flower and place it in your hair 🌸

However with arcades, you could easily beat him a 5 yr old with not the best motor skills could beat him 🤣

You guys definitely spend a lot of time together even if jts in the same room, it's just so safe and comforting to be near each others presence 💖

He would love to give gifts his would just be his artwork be whether it's his emotions towards you, him recreating a photo he took of you and painted it, or sometimes even your favorite songs in a very life like way

Like however the song sounds or feels he'll find a way to paint the way it feels or might look like as well as the color he thinks are associated with it

He does give you things you like tho it's just if he has no money or not sure how to get it he'll paint something for you

He loves your personality tho, he's a narcissist but nothing compares to your own opinion about him

Those people still deserve love 💘

He's very quiet and reserved unless really bothered or really comfortable around someone aka you then he'll become talkative

He needs someone with your personality to mix with his, you guys are very similar but in different ways kind of like ☯️

Oh gosh he'll definitely help you catch random animals as long as there is enough room.and resources to help them. He hates when ppl just take in animals bc of how cute they are but have no way of taking care of them

Luckily a lot of people in the mansion have disorders such as yours and he's very observant so he tries to find a slow and gradual but healthy way to help with your triggers

Tries his best to keep you away from certain situations even tho sometimes they can't be helped

He'll keep a close eye on you especially if you dissociate. He's never really experienced but as much as he can read about it he will never know how it feels

Obviously he's very creative and if you need a certain way to organize your schedule or work area, whatever and wherever you spend a lot of time doing, he'll try to customize it for you (as someone with adhd myself I have to do a lot of color coordination)

Helps you with reasonable and small daily tasks

Not to make you sound like a dog but he'll give you a small treat with each task completed

You drank a bottle of water? X amount of kisses

You took a shower? (Honestly he'd join it cuz I feel like he forgets too sometimes haha) but he'll pamper you during it

Whatever small goals you have you guys will discuss your goals, whether that be a new game, making him go places, etc you get the idea

I hope you liked this 😁😁

[marshmallowprotection]

hi can i request a matchup? :)

i use they/them and my appearance is masc leaning androgynous. i have an undercut thats basically covered by my short dyed hair and im 5’4”. i wear baggier black clothing generally, but i want to take more inspo from the techwear style. usually have black nail polish on and the makeup i wear basically extends to a lip tint and eyeliner! i have 6 piercings in total (3 in each ear) and really want a tongue piercing and tattoos eventually :]

my personality— i act really cutesy/nice when i first meet people (to increase the chances of them liking me tbfh LOL) but once im more comfortable that persona kind of drops and i am just. a brat. just an absolute stinker man. like the type that shows my love by either ranting to them for 20 minutes without a breath or teasing them during conversation. i am. not usually a fan of opening up to people (i find it embarrassing) and deflect using humor. this usually goes out the window if im trying to relate to something someone is telling me, but id rather chug hot sauce than willingly open up on my own out of the blue LOL

speaking of ranting i genuinely do not stop thinking about things i like the entire day. im an ISTP and i usually like entertaining myself by making content for the things im really interested in at the moment (which usually changes monthly to yearly), so i have a bunch of sketchbooks and notes filled with ideas or AUs or stuff like that. ive been drawing for around 7 years so its been a big de stressor for me :)!! i also have a lot of trouble keeping up with people/relationships in general due to my adhd :’). a lot of the time i just... forget that things outside of my own head exist? and then that turns into me accidentally ghosting my friends for a week or something. id like to think im pretty smart! i was in the gifted program when i was a little kid after they found out my iq made me “moderately gifted” whatever that means. im kind of going through a burnout atm but i am stubborn as fuck and live my life to spite people i dont like so i wont let this get me too down.

a lot of the relationships/super close friendships ive had ended badly bc of the therapist role i adopt early on (thats how i feel like i “earn” their affection at first). my love language is physical touch!

i really love tea and ghibli movies!! the things i like change often but those have been constant for as long as ive been alive haha, im also really into mythology and religion, specifically in relation to irish/celtic faerie lore! it really makes me want to live in places like that.

the one major dislike i have is when people assume things about me. whether thats what im gonna say or what im comfortable with, i wish they’d just ask me. largely because they get the assumptions wrong. something similar is when people lie to me unless they have an actual reason for it. little white lies people use to “spare my feelings” only make me feel like they cant trust me enough to tell me whats actually happening

for hobbies, as i said, i draw. but another major hobby i have is rock climbing! i like being active and ive been doing it for around the same time i picked up art. currently, im actually getting back into serious cosplay which is super fun! i put too much pressure on myself to make it look good (+ no funds) that i sapped the fun out of it real quickly, but now im reapproaching it and i genuinely like it.

thank you so much :] have a good day!

I match you with....

Zen!

You have a very solid love language. You know what you like and you know how to treat the people around you with the utmost care and respect. Your friendship is like a whirlwind and there is no denying that. You're looking for people that you can show the world to and that you can hold on to when you need them the most. You know who you are and not a lot of people can say that they know that. This is that weightless feeling of knowing that you are who you are. You're always giving more of yourself and you intend to give. It's not always a bad thing but it does weigh on you like a rock at times because you wished that people would put you first instead of the other way around. That's not a selfish wish. You want someone to be honest with you. Even if it's not kind. You're just looking for someone who has a passion for life and a passion for you. That is why the person that works for you in these circumstances is Zen!

Not only are the two of you are very active and very open with everything that you enjoy. The passion that you have for the things that you try is insurmountable. There's no denying that you put your heart into everything that you do even if it changes every now and again. Zen is the kind of person that will love passion. He loves when he can see how much something means to someone and whenever he sees you exploring what makes you happy, nothing makes him happier. It took him forever to be able to find what made him a happy seeing other people experience that, especially the one that he cares about the most, is better than anything. Are both honest types and you're very blunt with each other and that keeps the relationship very healthy. Because neither of you have anything to hide it just means that you're both open books.

With a man like this at your side, you can learn what it feels like to have someone put you first. Your needs are what matter to him. It honestly might be a little overwhelming with how much praise he gives you, but with every kiss and with every nudge oh, he means every word that he says. You're the most wonderful person that he's ever met in his entire life and he wants to show you that so you can learn that for yourself.

[heartsymbol]

im just going to vent. abt my feelings. and about someone. you dont have to read it. if you do, i appreciate it. genuinely... okay!

well first of all i fucking hated you! resented you! and a part of me still does. a part of me seethes at the thought of you. i hated being with you. hated getting texts from you because i know most of the time you're just going to vent. talk about yourself. and i always felt my stomach drop everytime you asked at night. when i was tired and drained. i hated how you would talk about your shit days, your job, very much unprompted. i felt as though you fucking treated me like a dumpster, and shoved this shit at me constantly. like, duh ofc i will view you as a negative person lol. one person can only deal with this shit for so long without feeling resentful. not only that, you would always talk about yourself. you you you! you use your adhd as the excuse, but i know tons of people w adhd and they have never been as self centered and without boundaries, like you! all you cared about was yourself and talking abt yourself and wanting to be heard. in the end i would feel like you would just constantly just talk AT ME, like i was a fucking brick wall, not a person. and you would THEN ask, after an hour of talking about yourself, "so. how are you?" like i was a fucking afterthought. you even said i didnt have to say anything... when... that is a part of. talking. as a two way street. as a friend. and i felt denied the action of responding. i didnt feel like a fucking person. do you know how fucking shitty that feels? you ARE SELF CENTERED. tremendously self centered. and the most non-aware person i've ever met. you barely had anything nice to say. not just about your day. but about other people. you would talk shit about people and the things you see unprompted. you would always complain. 80% of the time i felt like i couldnt talk about what i genuinely enjoyed without you laughing or talking shit. and you had the audacity to explain yourself by saying "well i felt like we dont have anything in common to talk about so i talked about my life and work" like BITCH?!? wheres the fucking common sense. you would rather talk about your job and shitty and petty thoughts as a convo stater than, idk. your hobbies? like normal people? in what world would one think that talking about your shit life. CONSTANTLY. UNPROMPTED. W NO BOUNDARIES would be a genuine convo starter... you were fucking unbelievable. it just felt like you wanted someone to talk AT, and not a person to be with. all you did was talk talk talk about yourself. once i said "eh, I'm okay nothing happened in my day." you would go straight to talking about yourself. you just cant hep yourself can you? i felt so very strained, being with you. i couldnt talk about what i liked in fear of you saying something. all you did was talk at me. mansplained constantly. when i did not fucking ask you. and i felt like a fucking idiot around you. it always felt like you were talking down at me and never saw me as an equal. you really had the audacity, in our last moments to cry about how you felt YOU put yourself in the role of being "the older care taker" despite you being just 3 years younger. you created that role. you PROCLAIMED yourself as "an older sister" BUT YOU WERE NOTHING OF THAT SORT! you took that role, created a certain distance from me and ""felt"" like you had to take care of me when all you did was the bare minimum. like, i cant believe i had to tell you years later about how you dumped your trauma onto me CONSTANTLY when i was 17. SEVENTEEN. and you were well into being 20! you USED ME. all i ever felt was USED. i rarely felt like a person. and THE NERVE of you saying that i had baggage with people relying on me. its BECAUSE of people like YOU! that im like this! you caused me so much fucking pain. i would feel awful for days on end. and when you finally are able to have a lighthearted convo i felt "huh. why did i think so badly of you? i was just making this up." it was a fucking cycle. i was DRAINED. you never ever had proper boundaries. you dumped your trauma unprompted to me at age 17. and even afterwards til the very end. i couldnt talk about things like sex with

you because you were uncomfortable! which was fair! but you would then just talk about your own sex life without even asking me if i was comfortable??? you never realised just how much of a power imbalance and power dynamic there was with us? you had the biggest fucking cognitive dissonace, thinking you were a good "older sister" figure with me when you only did the bare minimum. less than that with how you vented to me like, in your words "your note app, live." you just USED ME. USED and took advantage of my fucking kindness to listen to you. and you wonder why. for the longest time. why i could not trust you. that i could not be open about my own problems to you. you had no fucking boundaries and keeping my distance was the one way to make me feel fucking sane, to keep some sembelance of space for myself. this was very much doomed from the start. i cant believe you thought it was funny to pick on me and make fun of me at age 17. what an absolute fucking loser of you to project onto me at that age. you projected onto me an image some girl that you felt hurt by, bc she strung you along romantically and flaked on you. like do you see how that is wrong. how wrong it is to project that image onto a seventeen year old you barely knew like?!??! you were a fucking adult i cant fucking believe you did this shit. and ofc i felt like i had to say shit back. and be spiteful. i was defending myself from an adult. i still laugh now how you would victimise yourself like an overgrown baby when i said shit like " you cant love if you dont love yourself." knowing full well it wasnt meant to be said at you. i felt like i was walking on egg shells, being on high alert with you. because you would always say something, and i would say something back and then you ended up feeling hurt as if you werent the one to fucking start all this shit with a minor. oh how much i fucking resent you. i hate you. i hate you. ughhh and i cant fucking believe just how much i've done for you financially. it was a constant thing. this was my own fault of not stating my own feelings. and constantly giving on my end but boy. im just thinking about how many times i've actually bough food for you. with the intention to share and give. and i would give you money. and i would give you things for your birthday. but it took you two years to do something for mine. i felt unacknowledged and unheard. and i was just. drained. stuck in a friendship i shouldve been honest about from the get go, but felt like i couldnt because i didnt know just how bad it was for me. i let this happen too long, and thats something i will continue to review but fuck. i just. need to let out my anger out. i need to. i never had the space to fucking feel angry and to let out my hurt. i need that space to rage!!!! fuck. fuck you! fuck you! i hated you. i hope you get over yourself. you hurt me. i felt so much hurt in this. i must acknowledge that hurt. i need to be selfish just for once and be angry and nonsensical. i dont care. i dont care. i hated you.

[redandfranticfeelings]

an autistic analysis, lyric by lyric, of ‘i love play rehearsal’

ive been hyperfixating over bmc for the last month and i keep thinking about how autistic the main characters are and christine is so very very very autistic coded to me. so i decided im just going to straight up deconstruct the lyrics of her signature song in the context of her being autistic (and also having adhd, but my experience is mostly in autism)

this is very very rambley and based more on personal experience than research, so i doubt itll be interesting to anybody but me, but i just want to talk about christine, the autistic queen

I love play rehearsal Because its the best! Because it is fun. I love play rehearsal and I get depressed as soon as its done.

it goes without saying that chrstine’s special interest is theater right? the way she treats it as the “highlight of [her] life” and then switches into this song after acting completely awkward and disinterested in jeremy outside of the context of him being engaged in her special interest.

But not depressed as in like kill yourself depressed No, im not into self-harm Dude, I swear, here check my arm!

overexplaining in a way that reads very much like speaking before she thinks, even though bringing up self harm in casual conversation with someone you barely talk to is not exactly proper etiquette. i think this is also an adhd trait? going faster than your own brain. that’s basically this whole song.

See, I just use the word to emphasise a point, Show the passion I have got I am passionate a lot. I have mad, gigantic feelings, Red and frantic feelings, About most everything Like gun control, like spring,

a lot of people assume autistic people are typically emotionless but it’s also very easy for us to get caught up in emotional issues especially when it comes to stuff we love, and it catches us off guard. christine being hyperempathetic is implied later in the show when she has that awful survivors’ guilt over making fun of rich and jake, and it also plays into her being so socially conscious as well.

Like if I’m living up to all I’m meant to be.

being an high school junior is really rough bc of all the decisions that have to be made regarding college and your future as an independent adult, and being autistic just makes it worse bc it can easily lead to burnout to deal with so much at once, if you even can comprehend these things much at all (i had no idea what to do, lol). i doubted my ability to grow up and succeed constantly because i had no idea who to talk to and what questions to ask and how to present myself. that’s something that a lot of people worry about, but having social delays makes it way more of a pressing issue than it is for neurotypicals, i feel.

I also have a touch of ADD. Where was I? Oh, right!

self explanatory and very canon. adhd and autism can be diagnosed simultaneously nowadays and the symptoms overlap a lot, btw.

I love play rehearsal, Cause’ you are equiped with direction and text, Life is easy in rehearsal, You follow a script so you know what comes next. Anywho the point that I’m getting to is sometimes life can’t work out in the way It works out in the play

this part screams autistic culture to me. unpredictability is scary because social situations don’t always go smoothly like in fiction! this is why social scripting is a popular therapy tactic for autistic children- you have to manually study social situations like a script. theater is something meant to be memorized and recited until you’re able to process it and manufacture emotion, but honestly for autistic kids, life feels a lot like that sometimes. remember how miserable she got when one of her favorite plays had the script changed without her permission to make a whole new story she doesn’t know? of course that’s just upsetting on its own, but in the context of her knowing theater so well and being fully prepared for one story only to be forced to learn a new one? ouch.

christine is never shown as comfortable outside her element- she hides in a book during “more than survive” and shrinks into nothing at the party. it’s a recurring theme that she has no idea exactly who she is, struggles with her identity outside of theater, and despite not really caring about how people see her, she does care about her own ability. socializing makes her feel awkward, especially when something totally unexpected happens like jake or jeremy asking her out. if she doesn’t have a plan or routine or, well, a script, then she can’t trust herself to go forward.

Like the only time I get to be the center of attention, Is when I’m Juliet or Blanche DuBois

as an autistic theater kid, i just really do relate to being clueless and dumb in real life but being able to totally thrive on the stage, because you can channel the energy that is usually misplaced in real life social interactions, and transfer it through dialogue and song and dance that someone else laid out nicely for you.

and can I mention? That was really one of my best roles, Did you see that?

an epic combination of letting your mind wander easily without caring about making sense to the person you’re speaking to, and taking every opportunity to infodump. in a lot of productions she even mimics her blanche voice just for fun. jeremy tries to respond here but she doesn’t care because she’s in her own brain where everything only really seems to make sense to her.

And no matter how hard I try, It’s impossible to narrow down the many reasons why, I love play rehearsal. I happiness cry whenever it starts!

if she isn’t being hyperbolic then this plays into my ‘so much emotion it’s hard to control’ thing detailed a bit above. either way, big special interest mood.

It’s just so universal Getting to try playing so many parts. Most humans do one thing for all of their lives, The thought of that gives me hives! I’ve got so many interests I wanna pursue,

it’s a lot easier to lose yourself and connect to your special interest than focus on your very complex, very overwhelming real life issues. escaping into fiction and being able to play in a variety of social situations as a totally different person, yay theater!

in general i just like the idea of christine struggling to visualize who she is and thinking about a lot of hypothetical but being unable to choose which one is most desirable or plausible. idk if that’s autistic or just a fun character trait lol. i know jumping from interest to interest is an adhd thing though.

this little passage is good for at least showing that christine distinguishes herself from ‘most humans’ in a way that isn’t so much ‘not like other girls’ but like ‘life is so much more confusing to me than it seems to be to others’ (which the show proposes isn’t exactly true and is the same closed-mindedness that jeremy has, though christine realizes it sooner; however; the sentiment rings true in that christine, as a neurodiverse young woman, has a lot more hoops to jump through than a neurotypical classmate.)

And why am I telling this to you? Guess there’s a part of me that wants to.

jeremy is also very autistic coded in my eyes, but that’s a separate post. i just like them being drawn to each other through that sort of kinship. also if you interpret her as having an unrealized requited crush on him…well, i think for a lot of us, romantic love is easy to confuse with friend love, if even that, because the specifics of emotions are a mess to unravel. (which also explains her confusion on her relationship with jake)

oh and right after this, she starts squawking just because she had the impulse to do so. vocal stimming, much?

Back to play rehearsal, My brain is like ‘bzzz’ My heart is like 'wow’

my brain is always like bzzz honestly lol. this is generally a pretty good way to describe being hyperfocused.

Because we’re here at play rehearsal, and it’s starting, We’re starting, It’s starting, Sooo-ooon.

it’s been confirmed as a deliberate decision that christine’s songs never end on a rhyme, except when she’s squipped and it isn’t ‘really’ her, because she subverts everyone’s expectations, including jeremy’s. i feel that could make for a nice simplified metaphor for autism, right?

[shrikeofficial]

📌✨🏳️‍🌈🎥💎

📌 how did you find your hyperfixation?

TUC: I actually found out about tuc after finishing the hunger games trilogy when I was about 10 or 11. I loved that trilogy so I was just HUNGRY for more good books and I really hoped the author had written other series that could hook me. Of course I saw tuc was ~for kids~ and had giant talking animals so I almost didn’t give it a chance but um. IM SO FUCKING GLAD I DID. Bc this series is damn BRILLIANT. Wouldn’t unread it for anything!!! I love it so so much.

Hanako: just found it recently actually!!! Right after episode 1 aired. I saw the anime’s art style and was immediately enraptured. Decided I would watch it even if the story ended up sucking bc the art was so gorgeous (and hanako’s seiyuu is megumi ogata). TURNS OUT I love aidairo’s art style even more than the anime’s (but they’re both amazing don’t get me wrong) also the story is SSOOO GREAT AND THE CHARACTERS ARE AWESOME SO I WAS IN FOR SUCH A TREAT. I’m so lucky....

✨ what draws you towards your hyperfixation? what is interesting about it?

TUC: there are honestly so many things I love about TUC. The characters are so lovable and dynamic. The plot is engaging and paced well. The story integrates lots of dark, important and deep themes while also being innocent enough to be marketed as a children’s book. You WILL be shocked at how dark it gets, I will just let u know. It’s so memorable and really leaves a unique feeling in your mind. The ending is one that I can never quite forget. But I think it really ended perfectly for the point it was trying to get across. (As painful as it is.) I could go on and on. I love the blurred line between “good” and “evil” and the very ambiguous characters on each side. Who is the REAL villain of TUc? Well I have my own theories, but you’ll just have to read it and find out for yourself. (Also, I love the progression of Gregor and Luxa’s relationship. It is so sweet and soft and pure and very comforting for me, and has been since I read the books when I was 10. ;W; ❤️)

Hanako: (I was first drawn to this series by the art, so I gotta just say that I am OBSESSED with aidairo’s art style.)

But I stayed for characters I absolutely adore, (all of the main four are my kids and I would do anything for them), and a really fun plot full of wacky hijinks, some time travel, fun comedy. And of course, (my favorite), an overlying plot of darkness, murder, and tragedy. I love the mystery of hanako and his past. The way they tease u with little hints and set up foreshadowing of future chapters and revelations is just //chef’s kiss// I love the way comedy is integrated through the story, so while it gets progressively darker, you can still have brief moments of reprieve and humor. Overall I find myself tearing up in one way or another almost every chapter. It really hits hard, honestly.

🎥 do you have any favorite scenes from your hyperfixation?

God I’ve got so many favorites I don’t even know how to choose. Also a lot of them are spoilers. So I’ll just try to pick moments from early on (like book 1 of tuc) to minimize that

TUC: Luxa’s entrance scene. Including getting out-smarted by a 2 year old.

When Luxa drinks the root beer “weapon”

Every instance of Gregor taunting Henry and Luxa. (I love him so much? He’s so realistic. I love that he has such a gentle heart but he WILL NOT let u mess with his friends and family. He can and will snark at u with deadly precision)

Honestly like every scene with Luxa in it. Luxa and Gregor slowly learning more about each other and coming to an understanding of each other’s differences? I.... love them so much ;;;

Speaking of, the scene where Luxa opens up about her trauma and Gregor thinks “he forgave her for everything in that moment. He even forgot why he needed to forgive her.” Why is he such a good boy? Anyway I’d do anything for them,

Hanako: hhdndndndmndhd like every moment? Uhhhh I love all of the moments when Hanako opens up about himself/his feelings. We need more of them.

Can’t say that one bc spoilers.... OR THAT ONE.... OKAY I GIVE UP JUST READ THE MANGA PLEASE

Also I love... hananene so like all their interactions make me tear up.

🏳‍🌈 do you have any headcanons (lgbt, race, neuro, etc) that are important to you?

TUC: I have SO MANY headcanons. But I’ll stick to a few. I love African American Gregor. I’ve also seen mixed race hcs for Gregor which are great too. Also Luxa has ADHD. I’m certain of this but I forgot what made me so certain. Just trust me on this tho

Hanako: My autistic Hanako hc is so important to me omg.... like I would go down with this hc

I have LOTS of headcanons ttho. About random things like Gregor’s amateur family band, Luxa’s hatred of airplanes, all Gregor’s overland friends infuriating Luxa with Rick rolls, and more

💎 are there any fun facts or trivia that you would like to share?

A lot of the ones I can think of have spoilers so I might skip out DJDNDNNDNCJC BUT

TUC: Luxa’s name comes from the word “lux” meaning “light” which is so coincidental bc she’s the light of my life. (Yeah I’ve made this joke like 20 times but it still hits for real)

Bats run into each other a lot, also, so u can just imagine Gregor and friends constantly crashing into other bats.

I lowkey wanted to call Chillie (stray cat I’m feeding) “ripred” but Chillie doesn’t have a very ripred-like personality tbh. I one day wanna have cats named Ripred and Twitchtip

Hanako: I can’t really think of any off the top of my head that aren’t spoilers IM SORRY. But my friend and I did come up with a whole warrior cats AU for hanako-kun so there’s a fun fact for u. Yeah we’re the most valid tbh

[softpxls]

what do you call stimming when its not, like, stimming...? im adhd and stimblogs are rly good for me, but i dont want to say "stim" bc i think thats an autistic only term, but rbing stim posts with "aesthetic" seems rude...?

well, not everything on this blog is for stimming you know? maybe i should make that more clear, im sorry. bc it also really bugs me when stimming (esp visual stimming, which is “prettier” than body stims and echolalia, etc) is treated as just an aesthetic. bc stimming is so so important and there are so many forms of it and its shallow and ableist to only celebrate the “pretty” stims.im pretty sure stimming isnt an autistic only term? at least, most neurodiverse people stim, and thats the word that i personally have always seen being used to describe it. but im allistic and i very well could be wrong. i did a brief google search to check again but please correct me if im wrong!!

anyways, the whole point of this blog is really to have content that makes me feel calm and happy. stimming is absolutely something that makes me feel soothed, but it’s not the only thing u kno? positivity posts also help me when i’m feeling low (which is often aha). 

aesthetic pictures are both very pretty and nice to look at (i LOVE LOVE LOVE flowers and nature) and they also help me feel calm and safe. when i’m in nature i feel very at peace, so those pictures help me remember that feeling. imagining myself in a “happy place” is also a dbt skill i learned in therapy (i believe it’s called “imagery”), and for me it’s extremely comforting to imagine being in nature, in a field of flowers or staring at the sky or on the beach. looking at those pretty nature aesthetic pictures helps me with that a lot.

some of the pictures i reblog are of bedrooms or houses (they’re usually tagged “home”), and it’s for the same reason. they’re visually appealing and they also make me feel safe, bc to me a comfy bed with soft sheets and natural light is incredibly soothing. i can’t really articulate why.

i’ve been thinking for a long time about specifically tagging stim posts as “stim” or smth, and i think i will start doing that. however, if i as an allistic person shouldn’t use that word i will think of smth else to use.

my intention was never to conflate stimming and aesthetic or to present stimming as a cute, pretty thing that’s “acceptable” to neurotypicals.

(this is really long im sorry)

[ilygsd]

241018: 2

okay here we go, this is from some shitty mental health site ot whatever. i actually liked the site though. i read about aspd, adhd, autism, ptsd, bpd, npd etc. informative i guess

somewhat true i guess. i dont want anything else than to love him. i dont know why i feel the need or want to but i need and want to (lol) love people. with all my fucking heart. i want to die for someone (wow) but they need to take care of me, and above all APPRECIATE my love. this guy cant even FEEL my love, how the fuck is he going to APPRECIATE it? it’s all empty and the only thing he feels like the... the sexual parts or smth ugh idk. 

he is a social predator. he once said i reminded him of a beautiful but innocent deer and now i cant stop thinking about it. idk, it used to scare me before but tbh now i dont even know if i should be offended or fascinated by how..... fucking smart and talented these people are. he said i was pretty desperate when we first met (still am oops) and little did i know i was. i was desperate wooow he could probably smell my desperation and vulnerability miles away that fucking monster haha. this article sounds a bit dramatic though. im pretty sure he would be amused by reading it, idk. amused and annoyed. i feel like this is his standard state lmao. annoyed, bored and slightly amused. 

the best way to receive love is to give love, yes indeed and he knows that. and loving him is amazing. i dont know how or why, i cant describe it and i refuse to actually admit that i love him.... I REFUSE: i dont even trust the guy, he stands for nothing, always playing the devils advocate fucking white boy, always provoking me but.... maybe its just cus he’s older and im just bored with life. well yeah probably that too. i mean.... if i was content with my life, my relationships and health i wouldnt need him lol. especially not considering how he treats me and hurt my feelings. but wow as i’ve said, i love loving him (or whatever the fuck it is) and theres nothing i’d rather do than loving him. he’s a drug

and yeah thats definitely exactly what it was like. i still cant believe i actually thought we were similar LMAOOOOOOOO and he’s like “yeah people think that we’re similar until i tell them otherwise”. we are NOT similar. okay yes, i have some abusive traits, some manipulative i guess. i guess that’s similar. but other than that.... nope

uh, he says im emo all the time when im with him lol. trueeee. im so comfortable with him my emo just jumps out and i get really depressing wow. i wonder why he stuck with me for so long. i must be so boring. i mean it could be for the sex as i’ve said, but i doubt that. i wonder what the heck he thinks he can use me for. im always paranoid he’ll use me but at the same time i struggle with thoughts that im useless so.... bruh idk lmao

true that i stuck it out during the bad times because the good times are fantastic. true. true. idk, its not that fantastic. he’s pretty normal its not like im over showered with compliments and gifts and love but on the other hand i wouldnt want that either. hmm, idk im so curious how he’s acting with other people. if he’s similar or if he changes and adapts himself

im just svared of that “the honeymoon comes to an end”. what does that mean? will it be worse than this??? i mean is he bored now? what happens when he’s bored? will he just leave or do smth stupid? sometimes i think he’s starting drama bc he’s bored tbh that sounds more like me. he actually tried to “end” the fight by that “u owe me 5 blowjobs now” joke but i chose to continue bc he threatened to murder me and i was offended lol

yeah that may have been stupid. it was a choice of mine. he gave me a chance to move on and i chose not to because i thought i could make him apologize. LMAO NOOOOO. this bitch wont apologize for anything in the worldddddddd. makes me so FUCKING frustrated because i AM NOT going to apologize for trying to demand him to apologize. if anything i will just ignore that this ever happened. and i WOULD have, if it wasnt for the STI fact lol. it’s so awkward honestly i have nothing to say if i were to contact him. i dont know, maybe he got HIV now because of me LOL and why the fuck would i expose myself like that like why would he be with me if he publicly stated he wants to murder me if i transmitted it to him. i dont even know (yes i know, i obviously dont fucking have HIV) and i won’t know until he get tested. and he probably wont tell me so actually i should just block him before he gets tested considering he wants to kill me. ok he said he wouldnt etc etc. and i know he wouldnt but he would probably destroy my life in another way. 

uh idk, i guess i have to get myself tested again and this time HIV AND AIDS INCLUDED. only then i have a reason to text him and its to say that im clean. what a pathetic reason, i will see right through it. he KNOWS i want him. thats why there’s no reason for me to contact him at all because he already knows i’ll always want to be with him sigh

ok so as i’ve said i’ve thought about this a lot. like what the fuck does he want from me? actually he’s ignoring me right now so idk if he still wants anything sigh. but i guess thats why he wanted to meet so fast irl. i get it now though. at first i was like “NO WE NEED TO TALK FOR AT LEAST 6 MONTHS” but now im like ugh lets just get it over with. i really thought he was a typical charmer, a slut, but hes been very firm that he doesnt let anyone touch him and that he’s not always up for a second “date”. i guess its smth with their boredom? 

ok i guess it’s...... charm? and also sometimes threatening and coldness. 

and yeah idk. either he’s ignoring me bc he really lost interest. he’s the one who overreacted though for real... i cant fucking believe he got so pissed over something like that and then just straight out REFUSES to apologize for THREATENING TO MURDER ME. uugh its so annoying it makes me so pissed. he said he’s not the one to block people though. guess he will just let me message him like a fucking pathetic idiot and then leave me on read lol. like he did with my cringe snaps

LMAO YEAH I KNOW TELL ME ABOUT IT. rage.... boy can this sweet angel become angry. he’s always so rational and calm yet he lets himself get triggered over such nonsense. maybe he’s just faking it though to scare me or smth honestly i dont really know, i just know he pissed me off. he’d make a great james fallon, james fallon is a neurobiologist who studies. too bad jo wants doesn’t want to be a scientist or researcher in that matter but actually WORK as a psychologist WITH PATIENTS

fuck i cant help but be attracted to his intelligence though :( wow it makes me feel like such a dumbass typical girly girl and i hate itttttttt. i told him i’d like to see him cry haha. idk. im just curious. im happy he haven’t cried though like used it as a manipulative tool or something. im just rambling idk what the fuck im writing lol

[audiovisualrecall]

etsy is so exhausting on an executive function level to upload stuff to and i barely sell anything and its just. so tiring to have to add everything to it i just get overwhelmed and lose interest in actually doing it also bc i cant decide the best way to do so, like listing individual arts and within that the different items the art is available as?? it just takes so much effort to post a single listing mrrrr

i liked listing stuff on my website (i made shop pages!) a lot but its $35/month to be able to take paypal (which is.. so weird.... i can list things for sale for free, but no one can buy them??? idk!) but it was....much easier....

and idk like i feel like with some seo help it’d be easier to find my site/ for ppl to buy art from me thru the website than it is for ppl to find my stuff on etsy where there’s like tons of thousands of listings ....??? idk tho. sighduck

idk im just so bad at executive dysfunction these days i dont have energy for anything half the time except for random things and if i start something half the time i lose energy/motivation/interest halfway thru and dont finish....... which doesnt help the depressive episode bc even tho most of the time my thoughts towards myself havent been v negative, im still feeling BLEH a lot or i dont have the energy to make myself do things like, shower, or message michie back, or really work on the job searching, or anything. ive done some art fight stuff but everything else i just... end up feeling like whats the point? even when i know that’s an illogical thought like uh there’s a lot of points/reasons to do those things and i know that i also deep inside do want to do the things but also over that is a very bleh apathetic depressive disinterest and lack of motivation. and even when i want to not feel like it or try to do something abt it it just comes back like in the morning i feel good and sometimes i have motivation and ive told my therapist like oh im planning on working on this and that other thing today and i wanna work on this other other thing also and then.... like today, just. not do it. i drew a thing that i like. i found a few vaguely interesting jobs and printed them out. i mean yeah, i did help dad with the AC thing but. i opened the tab for the etsy stuff and tried to kidna organize what i have up already and what im planning on adding etc, but then i just was like nope i cant do that now and switched to something else.... like the ac thing took most of the day so i shouldnt be hard on myself for not getting 101 things done today! t was after 5 when we really finished,  i think, and there were dishes to wash and dishwashers to empty and art to draw. but i feel like i should have done more, and i feel like i dont ever finish anything and i cant do anything, i just start things and then lose interest, and family is like u just gotta do it anyway and i just!! i cannot do that!!! bc its not just... losing interest its depression... and i need help to do some of the things. not just told to do the thing. help me break it down, help me figure out a solution, help me by offering support. if i say the etsy stuff and job hunting arent easy and its stressing me out and making me feel awful bc i cant finish anything, dont say nothing is easy, bc yeah i know!! intellectually! but its not that its not easy its that my brain is actively working against me!! adhd + depression = hell time! i mean i didnt mind it that much bc i know what ma means, and she wants to go to bed, but she was trying and was wanting to help and was comforting me, so i dont mind. but in a larger sense, thats not helpful bc none of them are understanding, steph just. tells me ‘treat job searching like a job!’ like how is that helpful??? ive never...had... a real job... b4.... and on top of that adhd + depression = i cant focus on or do things i have no motivation, interest, energy, or reason to do or focus on! i cant!! my brain simply cannot do the thing, and instead of throwing that at me, try to actually help me, sit down with me and go through stuff w me, please. and if u wait for me to mention it tomorrow thats a mistake bc i just wont mention it again until its bed time again..... 

also still mad at steph she works long hrs yes, but she comes home and doesnt want to do anything, bitches abt being asked to wash the dairy dishes many of which were hers, and then complains abt ma not helping clean up the table, like? ma does all the laundry except for steph’s, dad cooks dinner, both split dishes washing - ma washed half of the meat dishes earlier! and then also worked downstairs!

[bratzdyke]

ive never said it or achkowledged the things my absuive mom did to me outside of my own mind so mayb if i write them down and let them out here ill feel a little more a peace with my current situation

- mom gaslighted me into thinking my dad chose drugs over me and my brother. he didnt. hes a recovering addict and never skipped an NA meeting bc he wanted to be better for us. convinced me to drop him out of my life for 5+ years all bc me and my dad got in an argument when i was 14.

- now that my dads in my life hes helped me become independent from my mom, new car + own insurance, new phone, got me on my own phone line, and is helping me apply to colleges even tho im almost 21 years old bc my mom didnt care enough to help me but now my mom feels a type of way about it and goes out of her way to put me down and talk bad about my dad

-pulled me out of therapy when i was 15 struggling with my parents nasty divorce, an extreme anxiety disorder, suicidal thoughts and tendancies, an ed, and adhd tht went unmedicated, and was failing all my classes bc of these things bc she wanted me to be ""normal""

- when i had anxiety attacks before school she used to grab me by my hair and pull me to the car no matter what i looked like and took me to school, screamed at me fir being embarrassing the whole time and made my counciler to class. i got bullied relentlessly for this.

- currently no one except me regularly cleans in the house, everythings a mess constantly its genuinely getting gross, things are falling apart in the house, the lights in my room dont work anymore the bathroom ones are starting to go also, my carpets are from when i was 3 years old and im 21 now they smell and theyre old and she wont let me buy new ones bc its not my house.

- stop letting me have friends over when i was 14. seriously. its been 7 years and i have never had a friend over. never let me hang out with ppl outside of work or school until i was 18 so i dont really even have any friends anymore.

- married someone who is physcially abusive towards my brother. let his kids who never lived with him before move into my house, treats them better than me and my brother they can get away with not working, going to school or paying any bills for their phone or car. I ALWAYS DID.

- screams at my brother constantly for not having a job but wont give him his ss card or birth cirtificiatw so he can get one.

- whenever i have more than 2 days off at my job she tells me im lazy and dont do anything. i work an average 35-40hrs a week.

- 1st time she ever made a comment about my weight i was 7 years old rollar skating with my skinnier friend and she made me cry so bad we had to go home and screamed at me in tbe car for being so embarrassing

- as a teenager she threw away my clothes when i was at school that she didnt like even though i paid for them myself and were typically expensive.

- would tear apart my room in school for drugs i didnt have at all, and wouldnt clean it up and yell at me to clean it up bc its my fault she thought i had drugs.

- i smoke weed now bc with my ed the only time i can eat comfortable is when i smoke and im in the process of getting a medical card and and whenever she finds my weed now she throws it out and screams at me to tell her why and when i try to explain to her its genuinely for health reasons she doesnt care and loses her shit anyway and tells me i dont know nothing abt real life and that im a druggie and is going to lock me away in rehab. i smoke maybe 2 times a week on my days off when i dont have anywhere to be. i only eat around 300 cals or less a day without these 2 days a week.

-when i was in school she forced me to tell her things i dont feel comfortable telling her by locking me in my room and taking away my phone/tv/laptop until i told her. she did this with my first kiss, my first bf and so on.

- tought me that i was a huge financial burden on her my whole life from a very young age.

- invalidates my sexuality constantly, im not even out to her but i never will be bc she doesnt believe in being gay.

theres so mych more i cant even name it all and tbh all this did was make me cry

[fe14fiction-blog]

hi, mod lilith! :D do you think you could make a post listing the matchup requests you've gotten and will do? just so we know if you've received ours! it can be a hassle though, so please don't feel pressured to >

hi! could i have a matchup? im a gay boy and id like an awakening match please c: im very kind and i like being and caregiver to people. im really shy though, and it kind take time for me to open up. when i do open up however, im very loud and carefree and i like cracking jokes and messing around. i love singing and i have an interest in rapping and song writing, but im also an artist. i work very hard and i can get very serious and competitive. im also really sensitive and i cry alot and easily        

I'm 19, male, and straight. INFP and Sagittarius. On the bigger and taller side too. I'm mostly interested in gaming and anime, but I also read quite a number of books. I enjoy debating philosophy and religion, but to be frank, I'll debate anything that I can debate. Personality-wise, I have two outward expressions: stoic and emotionless, and smug half grin. I'm usually pretty antisocial, but I like the company of like-minded people. Basically, those I can battle my wits against, and vice versa. A bit follow up, as I ran out of room. I'd prefer a character from Fates, please. And don't let my profile picture make you feel biased towards Soleil. I just like the picture itself. I wish you luck with these, and I thank you for offering to do them! Keep posting all the great content! Good night for now!    

Hi!! Could I get a matchup please, if the mini event is still happening? I was thinking Awakening characters, and I prefer guys. I am an Aquarius and infp; I like people who are very protective, and usually calmer/level headed. I enjoy people who make me feel significant and treat me fairly, and with plenty of attention. Thank you!                

Could I have a match for Fates, specifically Conquest; preferably a male character? I'm a shy person around people I don't know; yet I don't show it too much as I feel I need to force myself to be out there to make others feel comfortable. I have a short temper and am a very sarcastic person by nature. I take things seriously if needed but tend to like to be the one cracking jokes to ease serious tension. I get nervous often in public situations etc. I enjoy reading and writing, I'm an Aries!      

Could I get awakening male match up? I'm a girl, pretty chill. I'm not the most outwardly social but I like talking to people more one on one and having kind of long conversations to really get to know someone. I do have depression though, and sometimes get days where it's bad, so basically just anyone caring and sweet is what I'd look for, but I'm okay with whatever. Thank you!!!!!!!!!                

May I have an Awakening matchup? I'm a female looking for a male. Logically minded, but creative. I like cooking and playing video games and I spend a lot of time taking care of my siblings to help my parents out. Also ridden with anxiety and ADHD, but I work through that by working out (I'm in the gym three times a week). Total cat lady. Happiest when I'm alone, but I dearly love my small circle of friends. Also, if it helps, I'm an INTP and Aquarius. Thank you!

For Match-Up; From the Awakening men, please! As for the person to be matched, he is kind and gentle with a soft, warm smile. Patience and optimism are his strongest points being he is never known to lose heart or give up. He does tend to lose track of his own health due to his diligence in his duties though. His mind is sharp however, and often used to devise new and clever approaches to things. He is also a Mage. ISFP-type personality, falling under the Lawful Good morality.                  

Sorry if I'm sending this through via the wrong method! I'd like to give your match-ups a try (if that's okay) Game: Fates (I don't care which path) MBTI: INTJ (more turbulent) Astrological Sign: Cancer What I like personality wise: • Someone that I can discuss intellectual (especially history-related things) with • Able to comfort/chill someone out • More "mature" (stoic is even okay) • Determined in one way or another • Doesn't mind cats • Does well with a busy partner • Is a guy Thanks! 😸Oh geez, it didn't occur to me that you wanted more info on us as opposed to what we like in relationships. Terribly sorry! It's probably too late, but here's some info on myself (I submitted my request prior to the deadline, but if it was too little info.  too late, I totally understand) I'm quite the worry wart use ten words when two would do honestly. I'm a major "dilettante", I dabble in many things but have mastered none. I don't handle extreme emotions all that well. Sorry, and thanks!                            

I'd like a match up for an awakening character please. No second gens though and preferably a guy. I'm a girl who likes art, reading, and crafting. I have an INFP personality type and I'm a Leo. I tend to keep to myself mostly so someone else would have to initiate conversation. I love animals but I hate bugs. My favorite genre to read is adventure because I find my real life about as interesting as a stale corn chip. True to my zodiac sign my pride is everything to me.                        

id like an Awakening matchup! Second gen is fine! im 5'8, pan, virgo, INFJ girl with long af brown hair and freckles around my nose and cheeks. im reserved when you first talk to me and its hard for me to really trust people sometimes even if im already close with them. i also make self deprecating jokes to cope w not liking myself a whole lot. im pretty spacey too and i have a hard time remembering stuff. i draw a lot digitally and traditionally and i write sometimes too. thanks in advance!                    

Hi~ I'd like to request a matchup please! Game: Conquest (all the guys I want to marry are in Nohr oops). Please skip the 2nd gen. Personality: Pisces, INFP, Gryffindor. Easygoing, affable, humourous, thoughtful, observent, affectionate, ambivert, shy but doing my best to put myself out there, introspective, openminded, I've been told I come across as mysterious and intense by people I don't know well. Preference: open/fair minded, loves to learn and travel, even a little romantic/affectionate.         

fates matchup please? 😁 i'm a straight entj girl. i'm an outgoing person and take up a lot of leadership roles, e.g. i’m stuco president. i'm a little shy around people at first but i open up quickly. people say that i'm funny and smart, although i am a little mean and a perfectionist... i'm also actually wildly insecure lmao... i also love reading and writing. i don’t enjoy sports but i like volleyball! going out is fun but i can't be around people for too long and like alone time. thank you!  

May I please have match up for a male Fates character! Thank you! You're a doll for doin this! I'm generally a calm, if a bit moody kind of girl who adores cute things and nature! I always aim to please and I act sweet and innocent when really I'm only pretending so that people will like me. In reality I'm much more down to Earth and lonely and can care way to deeply about keeping up appearances when all I really want is for someone to look past my façade.

Can I get an Awakening Match-up please? Female, 5'9", strawberry blonde hair and grey eyes, INTP. Looking for a guy who's more of a sweetheart and would never raise his voice to me, long hair is preferred. I need someone who will be strong for me when I can't, and enjoys being showered with affection in return. I enjoy reading, drawing, and cooking. Please no second gen characters. Thanks a bunch!

Please could I ask a match with somebody from awakening. I do not mind which gender you choose. I'm a happy, bit cheeky, kind and caring person, it takes awhile for me to get angry and I will show sympathy to people who needs it. I like other people showing kindness to others and being friendly. I am a Taraus and I own Awakening, Birthright and Revelation      

I'm a Taurus whom has a love for food, music, and poetry, tries to keep things orderly in his life for the most part, and yet also loves to flatter those whom I love with compliments and gifts. No gender preference, Fates character.  

fates matchup? male please!! i'm an infp gemini,, i'm p outgoing and try to make friends w everyone (which can also be a bad thing bc rejection is the Worst) but i love making people laugh most of all!! i play sports solely for the team aspect (soccer n softball) so i'm also p athletic. but i also do love to write and am v easy-going!! thank u v much for doing these!  

Matchup for Fates! I'm an ace girl with romantic interest in everyone, 21 and only 5'3" and I'm kinda shy due to being Autistic. I love horses and archery though, with more interest in writing and drawing. I'm a Cancer, and my favorite time of day os the mid afternoon. I used to be a sport swimmer and diver, but now I enjoy the pool for fun. I can be a little overprotective of those I care for when new people come around as well!    

fates/conquest, preference male (anyone BUT Leo, Xander & Laslow), cancer & INFJ Tiny, quiet girl. Doesn't like war or fighting and just wants to make her friends and everyone around her happy. Enjoys music and can play almost every string instrument (except the viola) including the piano. She's very timid yet enjoys talking, especially about different lands and myths. She's kind of sick though and has medical issues that affect her ability to go out a lot. Has no preference for males.           

Match-up please! I'm a male who enjoys creative writing, animals, baking, fashion, and nature. I'm playful and tend to tease those who I'm close to. I'm pretty nerdy and I'm scared pretty easily. I also love terrible puns. I'm a Gemini, and I'd prefer a female from Fates! Children are fine, too!      

  Hi I'm hoping the matchup are still open, thank you for this!! I'd like someone from awakening and preferably one of the dudes pls :) I'm an istp, gryffindor and a Scorpio, I've been told I'm a bit intimidating as well as bold and a bit blunt, but also funny. I prefer to hang out with people who are honest and have integrity, people who start shit for no reason piss me off to no end. It doesn't matter if I don't share similar interests with people so long as we get along and have a good time c:  No Kid Characters      

For matchup I'd prefer Fates Second Gen characters except for anyone younger than Kiragi, I have no preference for Gender or Personality. As for my personality I'm a very lazy hermit who likes literature and I have a good memory. I can be shy and my mood changes a lot between pessimistic and optimistic. I'm also someone who likes to try new things a lot as long as it doesn't require much of physical activities. I also get lost a lot in my thoughts.      

Matchup if still open! I'm five foot 3 and INTP in personality. i don't mind either BR or CQ guys. I'm somewhat distant at first glance. I'm kinda moody and irrational, but try to hide that with jokes and silliness. I'm a pessimist at heart. Very picky about things too, whether it be food, clothes, friends, etc..   

Can I have an Awakening matchup? I'm a bisexual ESTJ 5'1 1/2" Pisces girl with too many things to say. I've been told my best traits were my charisma, imagination, consideration, and articulation but that I was stubborn and feisty and I can't be intimidating due to my height. I love engineering, history, and hands-on projects and people say I can never stop smiling. To my s/o I can offer comfort, humor, and perspective. They'd just have to deal with my strange sense of humor, unorthodox way to do things, and when I'm mad, a sharp tongue. But after any fights if I'm not blinded by my own stubbornness, I'll be the one to give in and ask for forgiveness. In the relationship I need someone as willing to hold it up and be a part of it as I am.