#bc its a lot of stuff to dump without a read more

[yuukei-yikes]

i extended on something i wrote months ago in the subject of shinene codependency (and shinaya breakup) but its hidden in a Much longer post under a read more so i wanted to make it into its own post for my kagenalysis tag❤️:

to rant a bit abt the "personal narrative" of shintaro. i think it's interesting that shintaro is essentially a very self centered character and kagepro is very meta in the way it treats him as a main character. because inside of kagepro, he really gets as much focus as any other character, they're all "main" character to us. its rather inside the story he plays a very important role therefore he is the protagonist and as the protagonist he puts an end to the story itself too. i think this is all interesting together and fun to dissect shintaro's character as inherently self centered because that's what the story is. the initial premise is that he's a depressed guy living in regret he used to be "such a bad person" to someone he cared deeply about.

his self centeredness shows not only in the way he acts even without retaining activated, but he is really in the center of it. shintaro IS the protagonist and deep down even if he hasn't remembered yet, he knows that. so does everyone else. they all know they depend on him, sooner or later.

and i like to think of all this in a post str context thinking that the way he handles all that in everyday life once this story is over and theyre free from a narrative in the first place, is self destructive because its not compatible to being a normal person. he's a protagonist but there's nothing to be a protagonist OF anymore

so it IS taking him a bit to really LOOK at his friends and stop looking only for himself. technically he's lived a hundred doomed lives and now he's here trying out this one and again it is scary and new and... ene, who's been the most dedicated to centering her life around shintaro, is a clear safe place while navigating this.

he takes takane totally for granted because of this. in the narrative she has always been his sidekick. she has been the second main character to him. she has always lived and served him in all timelines, in all the time theyve known each other that she can't remember and he can, takane has been more ene than she's been takane to him, and ene has always been his annoying lap dog he hates as much as he needs in order for the story to move forward. takane of course reciprocrates the dynamic because it's also all she's known for a year. but... it's a year, vs. shintaro's God Knows How Many resets.

so eventually... as she is free from the narrative and very much her own person outside of him, capable of finding love and priorities somewhere else away from him and OUT LOUD tackling issues like hey we have a codependent dynamic going on we should work on, bc she does normal people stuff like going to therapy, takane moves on. which is mind blowing for shintaro AND HE DOESNT LIKE IT

he shuns it completely whenever takane brings it up, which she does a lot as time goes on. because time keeps going on. it keeps passing by. and everyone around him seems to be growing up and that's so infuriating and so terrifying and then stuff like ayano dating him and dumping him is as much of a reality check as ayano being alive in the first place, and he doesn't know what to do with it other than cry and thrive off the attention takane gives him again upon seeing him broken again.

he's in PAIN but it's familiar. it's comfortable. it's classic. it works. because the story he was a protagonist of was a tragedy, so he doesn't know how to behave when there is hope in the future. ❤️

[c0rpseductor]

struggling to stay awake but i watched the sarah z video about fanfic as an art form (very good) and then in the related videos saw several from a youtube account that gives fanfic writing tips. i was curious so i watched the one that’s like, “tips for writing fanfic that can’t work in original fiction” and have thots

i guess i kind of feel ambivalent about it bc like. on one hand i agree fic as a medium encourages and can sometimes greatly benefit from a lot of stuff that doesn’t fly in original fiction, like cutting out canon events we’ve already seen or descriptions we should already know. a fic doesn’t have to be a totally standalone work given it already depends heavily on the context of the canon it’s derived from.

on the other hand i kind of struggle to see how some of these tips benefit _any_ form of writing? like “the pace can be very choppy or glacial if you want! pacing doesn’t matter!” feels like poor advice to me if you’re trying to make your fic read well. canon can prop up a lack of exposition but cannot change the way your fic reads as its own work. i think pacing very much still matters, and “good pacing” can be somewhat subjective, but the actual wording of the advice was along the lines of like, pacing straight up doesn’t matter, which i don’t agree with at all. i think a featured comment along these lines (bc the video maker showed some other writers’ opinions that they liked) was essentially like, “you can have really incredibly slow pacing and it be fine if the story is just a relationship study and there’s no plot or themes or meaning.” EVERY STORY HAS FUCKING THEMES AND MEANING IT COMES FREE WITH YOUR FUCKING XBOX. don’t fucking encourage people to be uncritical writers oh my god

i also like. i understand that i have different aims when i write fic than other people. with the longfic i’m working on right now, i want it to retell shadowbringers (hopefully on to endwalker) with my wol and highlight things FFXIV made me feel that were meaningful to me, and i’m choosing to have a slow pace so that readers can both have that experience again through my WoL’s eyes and figure out who the fuck he is without it feeling like a hasty exposition dump. i also personally don’t like how a lot of ffxiv fics in a similar vein read, bc they skip big important canon developments and emotional moments, so i chose to like…not do that. i also know i have at least one buddy (hi faiya) if not a couple buddies who are reading it fandom-blind, so i wanna add descriptions of locations and people. (plus, again, having a biased POV character means every description is Free Characterization, Baby!) i also think having descriptions immerses a reader more even if they reiterate canon, and it can be a helpful convention to establish so that describing new locations and so on doesn’t necessarily feel so, like, jarring. with shorter pieces i skip unimportant stuff but still like having the opportunity to set a scene and work in some inventive prose.

which, like, tooting my own horn i guess. obviously i like how i write or i wouldn’t do it like that. i try to have reasons for everything i do and think about my goals for what i want my writing to evoke and the experience i’m trying to create. however i am increasingly beginning to think the experience i’m trying to create is one that just really doesn’t read like fanfiction. on one hand, i don’t always like how fanfiction reads, so to me that’s good. on the other, though, if i don’t always like how fanfiction reads, idk if i’m the best judge of these kinds of intentional stylistic breaks in fanfiction as opposed to original fiction and how well they work. i don’t like choppy pacing, i don’t like fics that dwell or feel circular vis a vis pacing, i don’t like fics that just leave shit out that would potentially strengthen the story they’re trying to tell (100% bitching about emetwol shb retellings that skip and summarize every cutscene even when it would be a big relationship moment for emet and wol. like come on it’s free development they give it to you), and i’m okay with fics that don’t have much sensory description of established stuff bc i can fill in but they’re that much less engaging for it. some of these pieces of advice strike me less as useful shortcuts in a transformative work and more as shortcuts that actually weaken a transformative work. fic has to exist in conversation with canon, but a fic i think also has to have an existence as its “own story,” if that makes sense.

i know to some degree it depends a lot on the individual fic, too. for a short fic or a oneshot i feel way more like i’d agree and say “yes, by all means, skip the exposition and unnecessary description and get to the part we’re meant to care about, we have limited real estate here, devote it to the details of import!”, like i certainly don’t sit describing the layout of the crystarium room every time i write a ficlet about it. but i’m more reticent to say that about longer pieces where you have more time to explore and recontextualize and reiterate shit that might still be relevant to your work as a whole.

definitely a thing where like. i don’t want to get super egotistical or on my high horse about it bc despite feeling more confident as of late i do know i have a lot of room to grow as a writer and even just in terms of utilizing fic as a medium efficiently. but i wouldn’t be giving these out as blanket pieces of advice, which i felt the video was doing. the only blanket advice i would give out is “read and dissect published works to see how they construct prose and do other technical stuff,” because those are transferable skills and i think knowing how a story is constructed on the page is crucial to making informed decisions about how to take one apart and put it back together. but i’m also the guy who is saying this to you while very much aiming to apply it to unmonetizable age gap gay catboy porn a maximum of 15 people will read so you can take my words with a grain of salt approximately the size of your forearm

[nerves-nebula]

Me: oh no I’ve just trauma dumped in nerves inbox! It’s probably so tired of ppl doing that instead of commenting on its awesome art/storytelling,, especially w/ nonsense problems like mine T^T

Your response: *the most validating thing I’ve read in my god damned life*

Srsly the amount of times you’ve taken that part of ppl in denial abt their abuse & kicked that little shit in the ass without even realizing it is awe inspiring! & it’s all bc of your drive/talent for sharing your own stories! You’re amazing!!! <3

Gosh, you people are sweet.

It’s probably just because I feel invalid about a lot of my own stuff. It’s easier to validate others and enforce my belief that it doesn’t have to have been Literally The Worst to have been trauma or abuse. Easier to do that for others than it is to apply that to myself, is what I mean.

One thing I try to remember is that it’s common for people with trauma to wish something “worse” or more tangible had happened to them so that they had an excuse to feel the way they do. So that they’re trauma didn’t take an essay to explain. And that’s certainly the case with me. For all the neglect and abuse I suffered, I’m pretty sure nearly all of my siblings got it worse one way or another.

I was and still am petrified of the idea of violence. I was always in close proximity to it and that fear froze me in place every time. I only ever tried to intervene a few times, and I rarely got between anyone. The sexual abuse stuff was probably some of the less detrimental stuff happening. My parents didn’t ignore me more than any others tbh, though I did resent my spot in the hierarchy as “one of the kids who never causes trouble” (my dads words paraphrased) because I knew that meant they generally thought about and cared about me less.

I still feel bad that I want attention. That I wanna be cared about by all of my siblings and doted on when I’ve basically only ever sat off to the side and done nothing when they needed my help. Maybe I’d have the closer connections I wanted if I hadn’t been a coward :p

Aaaanyway, venting in my inbox gives me an excuse to vent back.

[miss-oranje-disco-dancer]

sad trauma dump but idk where else to say it and its lowkey relevant

daddy all along was a solution to my having alcoholic parents trauma, but that last drabble was me slapping a bandaid over one of the worst events in my life (maybe)

so, basically, i had a long term bf, and he used to guilt me into sex essentially like he would be like 'why are you not attracted to me anymore?' and then i would be like 'no it's literally that i have recent and past trauma about things being put in vagina' (reignited by the obgyn unintentionally) and he would be like 'it's been months, you're over that by now, i wish i had a normal gf etc.'

so then i would be like (in my mind) 'alright well, he'll love me and not argue with me and ill get cuddled if i have sex w him so ill just take my sleepy time pills (klonopin) early so i'm a lil more relaxed and there's no pain' (i thought this was normal behavior for a really long time btw)

and then, sometimes (often) i would try so hard to 'do it' but it was too painful (... happens when you have trauma and don't know you are actually gay whoops) and then i would feel so bad and apologize

and one time, we were at a hotel and i tried so hard multiple times and i couldn't it was just too painful and so we had a room w multiple beds (i prefer to have sex in one bed and sleep in another it's an ocd thing) and he went and slept in the other bed - just turned out the light, rolled over and went to bed without a word - while i sat there (after putting my pajama pants back on) and cried myself to sleep

and basically, that's my roman empire.

funnily enough (not haha funny) the fight to end all fights was about SA. he was like 'not that many women experience it' and 'a lot of women lie' and i was like 'did you not believe me when i told you five years ago that it happened to me when i was 16?' and he was like 'no i believe you' and i was like 'i have more friends who've gone through it, than friends who haven't - do you not believe them?' and he was like 'i don't know, maybe they're lying bc girls have never told me about stuff happening to them' and i was like 'can you see why girls don't tell guys about that stuff? especially guys like you?' and i literally broke up with him (he had already cheated on me multiple times and we were "trying again to repair our relationship") i just straight up said 'i can't do this anymore' and hung up the phone.

and now, maybe if you've read through this, you can see where i'm going... he knew about me taking the klonopin before sex and that i needed it to relax and he still thought it was a good idea to just go ahead and do it (and then get mad at me when i was crying in pain)... that's a little dubcon to me

my other (semi-related) roman empire is that whenever i cried, my bf was nice to me, but he would also get hard whenever i cried (and i'm not typically a 'crying out of pleasure' type of girl' even if i'm having a decent time during sex) like he would get an erection when i was sad crying. and he would apologize, but like still laugh off the situation and i always felt weird about it (more annoyed at the time, but not like :0, but not i'm like :0)

i don't know where else to put all these thoughts bc my therapist kind of brushed this stuff off (when i used to go to one) honestly the only person who's been helpful is like one friend and a girl i dated for a lil while, so if anyone read this whole thing, im sorry, and idk what else to say

[will80sbyers]

isn't it better to hyperfixating bc like... the strike will go on for months, its not even clear when they will start filming. like idk but it is very hard for me to engage in the fandom or read theories bc i feel like the majority of them kinda is starting to feel like they're coming from hard reaches bc of lack of content that ppl are currently suffering from (no offense, i am not saying this to shade anyone i am just saying ppl just tend to hyper analize bc there is not much to do). i sometimes envy ppl who keep the hyperfixation going bc they are interested in following fandom content still or engage with it. but at some point it just doesnt interest me anymore, i rarely see a take that makes me go 'hmm thats interesting' in a legit way fr

I think it's good if you agree with the majority of the theories going around the tag but I personally don't, so I either make my own stuff (but I have no energy because of work lately) or I just am constantly "lacking" new content even without the strike because even before most of the time I disagree but I don't want to cause problems in the tag, I want to be respectful and have a nice time with everybody here even if we disagree on some things about the show so I'm not commenting or reblogging adding my point of view... I used to do that more often in the first months but it just caused people to be upset and start being passive aggressive even if I just was hoping to have a conversation and I don't have the energy to clarify that all the time and I also don't want to upset anybody

Plus now I've moved to Ireland and started working and living with roommates that brought a lot of drama in the house with people fighting and having affairs kind of so I'm pretty burned out by everything right now... so I kind of hate still being fixated with stranger things in the back of my mind because I can't give that the proper time that I would need to be happy about it because I have responsibility in my real life that must come before 🥲🥲🥲🥲

I'm happy in a way because I wanted to be more active and actually do stuff out of the house but at the same time I'm always thinking about Will and byler in the back of my mind and I don't have time to rewatch or really feel the emotions (?)

Idk how to explain but I still have the urge to do that and be on Tumblr etc... So I'm both happy and stressed and that's why I would kinda want to not be fixated so much on it... Oh and I also don't have anybody in my life that likes the show as much as me except you lovely people here so I just dump my thoughts here in the tag when I have a bit of time 🤧

[tigerdrop]

3, 32, 61?

my first step is usually dumping a bunch of ideas on somebody LOL.....stream of consciousness "hey wouldnt it be crazy if" type of things. then ill open up a document and elaborate on it.....youll find a lot of these kinds of drafts on my website. this is like the "filling in the blanks" stage

sometimes at this point ill divvy up scene ideas in scrivener into their own little subdocuments. usually this is for longform stuff that im breaking up into more manageable pieces......then i just gotta sit down and write that shit. splitting it up into scenes helps cuz if i get stuck on one part, i can jump around to other parts without getting lost

this is a really hard question to answer now bc ive largely stopped reading fic LOL......and also bc one of them is an anonymous author that, as far as i know, has only ever posted one thing on ao3. and its genderbent ford/bill cipher. Sorry

the first part to this is that, surprise surprise, i am still writing fics. (ive got an AI benrey/streamer gordon one that ive been chipping away at.)

the second part is.....its just that im really really particular. i like what i like and its very rare that i find stuff that scratches that itch so i gotta scratch it myself. i like eroticism and i like tension and i like things that sound like they belong in the universe their fandom comes from and im also insanely picky about formatting and word choice and so on and so on. so tl;dr nobodys gonna write em the way i want except me, so i gotta sack up and do it myself

[bunycube]

3 4 5 and 10!!! Sorry if thats a lot lmaooo

DO NOT EXOECT A NORMAL LENGTH ANSWER FRM ME EVER dw its not a lot i can write 10 pages ab slow damage without getting tired

3. fav route- id say fujiedaaaa ! its jsut. watching the plot unfold n everything falling into place . and the mystery n the plot twists i love ti sm 😭😭 it also made me truly lvoe towa as a char like i already did but that jsut made him one of my fav protags of all time...and it was so heavy but so healing? i loved all the details n u can clearly tell they put a lot of thought into it its truly masterpiece stuff. even smaller details like inada and eijis origins etc were rky cool to me! rsther tha the romance asoect its def the plot n exrcution that made it special to me like it rky hit so hard. i do love fujieda tho hes a sweet heart n ithink hes the perfect True Guy for towa <33 for spoilery reasons n also bcs hes so caring n supportive i nthe exact way towa needs

4- least fav routr DAMN THIS IS TOUGH i kinda have routes ranked in diff subsections bcs theres some i like plot wise n not romance wiseor . thenother way round...but ill say its taku. ngl i loveddd the plot n crime mystery breaking bad vibe of the route butnthe romance wasnt doing it for me n in the end tho i enioyed the route a lot itll prob b last if i started rankingnsbfnd.

5- fav side chara PROABLY INADA hes so funny he jsut shows up out of nowhere to ramble and towas jsut like "..." and he rrfuses ot elaborste if u talk more. hes jsut there to dump slow damage lore on random opl hes jsut like me fr. hes so random its hilarious but i lve the lil reveal w him in rhe true route! kotarou would prob b another fav side character of mine...and i love junko also bcs theyre like a big sis to me

cg spoiler below

10- fav cg. ok ill pur this udner read more in a bit. ITS THIS FUCKING CG....OUGHMH....

and also this hehe

[sttoru]

💭&😠 with gojo :)

ANONNN ^_^!! thank u for asking angel mwahmwah gnna be rambling for a bit bye i answered these like i was on facetime w u telling me all abt my selfship lore w gojo. if u dont wanna read my stupid ramblings, scroll 🙏🏽🙏🏽

💭: where did you two meet?

OKUAOKAY its a loooong story which includes trauma and stuff on my part but i wont tell u , im gonna TRY and keep it short ! basically, satoru met me when he was on a solo mission >_< the school sent him out to an abandoned place where i was left @, fighting curses . now how did i end up there ? no cursed energy & nothin’ & still fightin’ these imaginary things (why dis lowkey reminding me of toji’s backstory) ? basically due to family . LAWLLL wont go into details since its a lot of explaining and lore but i got dumped there w the only weapon being a stick bcs those mfs loathed my ass bye ANYWAYS satoru found me , all messed up , and got me outta there & took me straight to shoko to get fixed up bcs i looked v BAD (as in wounds & stuff) && HE WAS SOWW WORRIED THE WHOLE TIMEEEE, muttering stuff like ‘please be all right,’ WHILE PACING AROUND THE ROOM BACK N FORTH 😋😋 anyways thas how we met and also how i got taken in by the school since i had no one lookin after me blahblahblah (insert more selfship lore) and satoru was kinda like my guardian during that time !! :3 he helped me find my way through the school, took me out to the city to explore, stuck up 4 me when i needed it, dragged me everywhere w him, let me train w him—yk just being super caring & also trying to light up my mood every time . especially when he sensed i wasnt feeling well. thas how he got me to warm up to him (rare occurrence) lol but the last thing is completely me irl … my rbf is so bad smh , ppl r always tellin me that i look mad or think m giving them looks 🙅🏽‍♀️🙅🏽‍♀️ also ion like talking to ppl much & prefer to stay in my own bubble but if i had someone like satoru (literally the complete opposite of me) id def wouldn’t mind becoming a extrovert heheeee anyhow yes eventually ended up friends to lovers :D !! sorry this turned so long bye mind u this is the shortest i could keep my rambling at oooops

😠: what's the worst fight you've had? (if applicable)

UHHHMM well . LMAO i feel like im the one that starts almost all arguments w him t_t but most arguments get solved p easily since we r both adults and act like adults & talk things out like adults ! satoru’s always patient & never yells & asks me for my part of the story before he continues so we both understand each others feelings . but theres this one time i was fed up and stressed out, to the point i wasn’t trying to listen to anything he had to say. i was staying over at his apartment, he was being clingy whilst i told him that i wasn’t in the mood at the moment (was working on a project i desperately needed to get done for the night) . satoru gives me my space, but then comes back around every half an hour or 15 minutes, asking me to take a break since i was like overworking myself and taking no tjme to rest. but yk when you’re determined to do smth, theres no stopping u (like when u r in that hyper focused state). so at one point i literally snapped and raised my voice, asking him to f off and leave me be, called him annoying (😞😞) and outed all my frustrations in a fit of rage . i felt so BADDDDD right afterwards but couldn’t bring myself to apologise since i also partially felt like i needed to be left alone at the moment.

satoru was stunned and just.. nodded and said smth among the lines of ‘okay, all right. i understand. i’m sorry for bothering you, baby. however, please take a break.’ like that man didn’t even argue back, just stayed calm & collected before leaving me be without refuting anything bad i said abt him. okay so i finished my project peacefully that night (abt 5 am when i finished) . i went to his bedroom, ready to sleep, only to not find him there. THIS MAN WAS SLEEPING ON THE COUCH . IN HIS OWN HOUSE HELLO i didnt even tell him to, but okay, 😖 i went back to the living room to apologise and tell him to sleep on the comfy bed instead of on the couch with a measly blanket he found somewhere (which didnt even cover his entire 6’4 body)., he didn’t answer me so i turned him over to look at me and ……. this man. had cried himself to SLEEEEEP 🚶🏽‍♀️ he was already sleepin & the skin surrounding his eyes was red , cheeks stained w tears i was so mad @ myself actually. DAAASHDJSN he didnt show his hurt to me bcs he knew it would only distract me more from the work i had to, therefore he let me be & dealt with his own feelings alone. YALLLL this makes me sob every time

anyways i woke him up eventually and this man wasn’t even fully awake before he pulled me down on the couch with him and hugged me tightly to his chest like he was afraid i was boutta disappear 🙍🏽‍♀️🙍🏽‍♀️ he was talkin’ abt sum ‘sorry, ‘m sorry for disrupting you earlier. are you mad at me?’ BRAHHHHH. felt so bad i didn’t sleep the entire day, apologised to him & comforted him & just held him in my arms while he slept . NEVA AGAINNNN NEVAAAAAA

selfship ask game

[radiant-elsecaller]

I thoroughly enjoyed reading BoM and am preparing for the lore dump of my life which I am assuming I will find in Secret History. For now here are my thoughts on the book. Spoilers for Mistborn up to BoM and also minor spoilers for Oathbringer and Elantris.

So I thought the prologue established a nice contrast between Wax as a teenager and the Wax we know today. Though he isn’t powerful or skilled at first, he is able to use his ingenuity to save that child (which by the way that whole event must have been so traumatizing). Then in the first chapter Wax is much more confident, hardly thinking about using his metals, just burning them naturally and not being alone this time. And on the day of his wedding no less. I adore the fact that Steris left in time for him on her schedule, AND planned a second date for the wedding. I’m looking forward to seeing their relationship more in TLM because they honestly work so well together in multiple ways.

I got so excited as I always do, when Investiture is mentioned. Also “tapping mental speed tends to make one hungry” is like Lift! It’s cool to see the parallels between different branches of Investiture.

Wax mentions the Red Rip twice in this book, is this the same nebula thing as Taln’s scar?

So we got Hoid giving Wax a medallion and I am pretty sure that woman was Khriss in the span of a few pages. It sounded like her and idk I’m pretty sure it was her?? Bc she was asking him about how his powers worked and stuff.

Hotel scene = iconic. Enough said.

AIRPLANES! And Telsin! I was a little suspicious of Telsin because she wasn’t being helpful at all and was saying weird things. So it wasn’t too surprising when it was revealed she was part of the Set.

Anyway it was so cool when Marasi stopped the bullets from hitting Wax and they kept passing the cube to each other and using it to help each other so seamlessly. I love seeing teamwork like that between members of a group and it’s so cool when they know each other so well that they can do it all largely without even actually speaking.

Also the language medallions being attached to location, like how Aons rely on the physical geography of a place. A lot of implications about Investiture and Allomancy and also apparently there are all these other people who have never been mentioned before and I think they’re talking about Kelsier?? Bc there was that whole memory in the epilogue. I’m a little confused lol

Steris Harms has my whole heart and I’ll probably make a separate post talking about her. But she is just. So amazing and I love her so much. I found her more entertaining than anything in the first two books, but I just have such an appreciation for her, as someone with no powers on this grand adventure, doing all she can to help the people whom she loves. And that often ends up saving people’s lives.

The whole scene when Wax had the Bands was such a Vin moment. And I love the trope (this happens with Dalinar too) where the antagonist can no longer manipulate the protagonist because they’ve undergone character development and/or a change of mindset.

So the epilogue was a thing. I guessed that it was Kelsier’s memory but there are so many other things I’m confused about, like did this take place after the Catacendre? What is even going on with Kelsier? Why are we only hearing about this whole other civilization in the third installment of the second series?

And there is an evil force (another shard?) who is using its own kandra? Does Harmony know about this? I’m wondering if it’s some kind of shard or smth bc of the red shadow surrounding the planet. So maybe that’s what is in charge of these Faceless Immortals. We still don’t know who or what Trell is, so he might be connected to all this.

This is random and probably insignificant but I want to know how that temple was lit. What was that blue light. Was it stormlight or a Scadrian equivalent. Powered by some metal,, or what. Also what metal powers the airplanes.

Now I just have to read secret history, row, and then the lost metal. And then tress and other short stories. I didn’t dive super deep into the implications of various cosmere and character developments, etc bc I’m trying to just get all of the main parts of the novel down. Actually I just realized I didn’t even talk about Wax’s death lol. And there is the ever growing technology on Scadrial. But there’s a lot to unpack here that I’ll probably write more about at a later date.

[rofax]

Everything is truly so chaotic and shit right now and I can't figure out how to add a read more tag from mobile so QUICK PREGNANCY UPDATE YALL

I have complications! Pretty serious ones. I have been going in twice weekly for testing to make sure my baby is okay and I am being induced early for her health, sometime between 36 and 37 weeks. I just got taken out of work until my induction date (which is approximately 2.5 weeks from today) and I am just. So stressed. 🙃

[hajihiko]

Big fan of your work, and I’m sorry if this comes off as rude but I just wanna info dump or else I’ll go crazy

I still respect your interpretation of fuyupeko but I think it’s debatable those two are as dependent on each other as ppl say

There’s major themes of Fuyuhiko pushing Peko away

1. In the splash art of them growing up, Fuyuhiko is never looking at Peko)

2. In Fuyuhiko’s Island Mode ending, Fuyuhiko explicitly say he needs to stop running away from Peko

3. In Danganronpa S, Fuyuhiko’s first instinct is to brush off Peko but he corrects himself saying he still needs her. In the Peko and Sayaka convo, Sayaka expresses she needs to be independent to not bother her friend, but Peko says her friend is probably happy to be relied on

4. The fact in SDR2, Peko lies about almost everything about herself (she saids she has parents in freetime, she calls Fuyuhiko her childhood friend and negates that in the trial), and the only time she was truly truthful she states that all she wants to be is remembered by Fuyuhiko

5. In Fuyuhiko’s talk with Akane, he states he never told Peko he was grateful for her. And in Peko’s freetime, Peko states as a child, Fuyuhiko would cry and call her scary

I do think Fuyuhiko and Peko’s relationship is strained from Peko being taught she was only a tool but I think it’s also comes from the fact Fuyuhiko never communicates with Peko that he actually likes her as a person. It still hurts me that when they were on a dangerous island where anyone could murder, Fuyuhiko told Peko explicitly not to talk to him, the one person she could trust on the island. Like who can blame Peko for thinking Fuyuhiko resented her.

Anyways, sorry if none of this made sense. I hope you’re not mad.

NO AUGH WASNT SUPPOSED TO BE POSTED DONT READ YET IM NOT DONE closenur eyes

ok done now

Nah not mad! I just think maybe I have a very different way of interpreting info, which is fine (we all do tbh), but I appreciate a respectful differing view.

Anyway, disclaimer, my memory is brittle and I havent consumed all DR content so some stuff is not available to me.

I'm gonna do this in numbers too just bc its easier

I dont really put a lot of stock into the art anyway? I dont know which one this refers to

same as in 3. with trying to distance himself from being too reliant on the family, possibly also being distant by trying to adhere to their roles, more on that later

I remember some of Fuyuhiko's deal being that he doesn't want to rely on the power of his family of everything, and that extends to Peko with her being his protector. I think the fact that he thinks e needs her, but doesn't want to, actually just plays right into my view of them (this one, Fuyuhiko not wanting their relationship to e what it is but admitting that he doesnt know anything else and would be pretty adrift without it).

I didn't know that! That's interesting. My memory might be wrong, but wasn't some of that because Fuyhiko instructed her to keep their affiliation a secret? And since the clan is all she knows, she had to make stuff up?

I could believe that Fuyuhiko never actually thanked Peko for her services, their whole job status being messy as it is. I dont know about that second thing, but I remember something about Fuyuhiko crying because he could sense that Peko was worried / she was trying to reassure him but without smiling or anything, something about them being kidnapped. Still doesnt really negate my view on them, just once again that they wanna be there for each other but somehow just can't.

Ok so, re: that little comic, I guess I should say: I dont think they were that sweet with one another all the time, and in fact kind of want to imply that while they *were* friends as kids, as volatile as kid friendships can be, from that point onwards they did start to grow into their roles and their own seperate ways (for worse). Fuyuhiko being an overly aggressive and angry dickhead a lot of the time, trying to fit into what he thinks he needs to be, and Peko being the 'tool' that she tries to pass as in the trial, actually kind of thinking she knows what's best for Fuyuhiko instead of talking to him one on one as a friend. When I say they were reliant on each other, I dont mean they were emotionally close, I just mean they literally define themselves a bit by the other (the game does this also), because they're not sure what to be otherwise, the other being the only peer they know closely. Like Fuyuhiko says (cries) in the trial, he needs Peko, and Peko is so consumed by her role that she did the whole murder thing.

Fuyuhiko pushing Peko away and Peko refusing to back away makes sense to me in the lens that Fuyuhiko wants Peko to be more than his walking talking sword, and Peko takes her duty seriously/is unwilling to lose the one person she has a connection with. Fuyuhiko is taking dumb clumsy baby steps at not needing Peko there all the time, even though he kind of does, and Peko doesnt see what's wrong with their relationship as is (and therefore thinks she can base a murder unit because she doesnt see how it wouldnt make sense that she doesnt count as a person). Fuyuhiko also absolutely dogshit at communicating and could have avoided a lot of this with some anger management and more thoughtful speaking, but i think part of the tragedy is that neither of them knew any better because what they were doing was all they'd ever been expected to do.

I always understood the whole "dont interact w me" thing to be a, a) a way for both of them to be normal classmates, which would be good for them, and later b) scheme to protect the both of them and give them advantage in the game. I cant say I ever saw it as pure callousness on Fuyuhiko's part- rough and clumsy attempt at being helpful, maybe- and I definitely can't agree with that read. I think maybe Peko could have seen it that way, in being that she wants to be relied on and be useful and that being rejected means she's being rejected, but Fuyuhiko states that people tend to be wary and suspicious of him (for good reason) so however harsh, I think it was always gonna end in Peko's favour, in or outside of game. Whether that was explicitly planned, I dont know- probably not- but I dont think it was just him being a dick.

Anyway! I don't know if this reply makes sense, but I'm not like disagreeing just to disagree! I replied this in-depth bc I was interested in answering lol. This is just what I mean by fundamentally different reads. This is how *I* understood the events based on my own brain translating it, doesnt mean yours is any more right or wrong, just different people processing things differently.

[booklindworm]

A rant against Karen Traviss' understanding of history and her FAQ answers

Did you base the Mandalorians on the Spartans?

<cite> No. I didn't. </cite> Fair enough.

<cite> I really wish history was taught properly - okay, taught at all - in schools these days, because history is the big storehouse that I plunder for fiction. It breaks my heart to hear from young readers who have no concept even of recent history - the last fifty years - and so can't see the parallels in my books. You don't have to be a historian to read my novels, but you'll get a lot more out of them if you explore history just a little more. Watch a history channel. Read a few books. Visit some museums. Because history is not "then" - it's "now." Everything we experience today is the product of what's happened before. </cite> Yeah, I do to. Please, Ms Traviss, go on, read some books. Might do you some good. And don't just trust the history channels. Their ideas about fact-checking differ wildly.

<cite> But back to Mandos. Not every military society is based on Sparta, strange as that may seem. In fact, the Mandos don't have much in common with the real Spartans at all. </cite> You mean apart from the absolute obsession with the military ["Agoge" by Stephen Hodkinson], fearsome reputation ["A Historical Commentary on Thucydides" by David Cartwright], their general-king ["Sparta" by Marcus Niebuhr Tod], the fact that they practically acted as mercenaries (like Clearch/Κλέαρχος), or the hyper-confidence ("the city is well-fortified that has a wall of men instead of brick" [Plutarch, Life of Lycurgus])...

<cite> A slightly anarchic, non-centralized, fightin' people? Sounded pretty Celtic to me. Since I went down that path, I've learned more about the Celts (especially the Picts), and the more I learn, the more I realise what a dead ringer for Mandos they are. But more of how that happened later... </cite>

The Celtic people are more than one people, more than one culture. Celtic is a language-family! In the last millennium BC nearly every European ethnic group was in some ways Celtic, and they were not one. Later, after the Germanic tribes (also not one people, or a singular group) moved westwards, the Celtic cultures were still counted in the hundreds. Not only Scotland was Celtic! Nearly all of Western Europe was (apart from the Greek and Phoenician settlers on the Mediterranean coasts). The word “Celts” was written down for the first time by Greek authors who later also used the word “Galatians”. The Romans called these people “Gauls”, and this word was used to describe a specific area, bordered by the Atlantic Ocean, the Cévennes and the Rhine: “Gaul”. So the Celts, the Galatians and the Gauls were all part of the same Celtic civilisation. "Celts, a name applied by ancient writers to a population group occupying lands mainly north of the Mediterranean region from Galicia in the west to Galatia in the east [] Their unity is recognizable by common speech and common artistic traditions" [Waldman & Mason 2006] Mirobrigenses qui Celtici cognominantur. Pliny the Elder, The Natural History; example: C(AIUS) PORCIUS SEVERUS MIROBRIGEN(SIS) CELT(ICUS) -> not just one culture "Their tribes and groups eventually ranged from the British Isles and northern Spain to as far east as Transylvania, the Black Sea coasts, and Galatia in Anatolia and were in part absorbed into the Roman Empire as Britons, Gauls, Boii, Galatians, and Celtiberians. Linguistically they survive in the modern Celtic speakers of Ireland, Highland Scotland, the Isle of Man, Wales, and Brittany." [Celtic Culture: a historical encyclopedia. by John Koch] "[] the individual CELTIC COUNTRIES and their languages, []" James, Simon (1999). The Atlantic Celts – Ancient People Or Modern Invention. University of Wisconsin Press. "All Gaul is divided into three parts, one of which the Belgae live, another in which the Aquitani live, and the third are those who in their own tongue are called Celtae, in our language Galli." [Julius Caesar, De Bello Gallico] <= I had to translate that in school. It's tedious political propaganda. Read also the Comentarii and maybe the paper "Caesar's perception of Gallic social structures" that can be found in "Celtic Chiefdom, Celtic State," Cambridge University Press. The Celtic tribes and nations were diverse. They were pretty organized, with an academic system, roads, trade, and laws. They were not anarchic in any way. They were not warriors - they were mostly farmers. The Celts were first and foremost farmers and livestock breeders

The basic economy of the Celts was mixed farming, and, except in times of unrest, single farmsteads were usual. Owing to the wide variations in terrain and climate, cattle raising was more important than cereal cultivation in some regions.

Suetonius addressing his legionaries said "They are not soldiers—they're not even properly equipped. We've beaten them before." [not entirely sure, but I think that was in Tacitus' Annals]

Regarding the Picts, in particular, which part of their history is "anarchic"? Dál Riata? the Kingdom of Alba? Or are you referring to the warriors that inspired the Hadrian's Wall? Because no one really knows in our days who the fuck they were. The Picts’ name first appears in 297 AD. That is later. <cite> Celts are a good fit with the kind of indomitable, you-can't-kill-'em-off vibe of the Mandos. Reviled by Rome as ignorant savages with no culture or science, and only fit for slaughter or conquest, the Celts were in fact much more civilized than Rome even by modern standards. </cite> That's how the Romans looked at pretty much every culture that wasn't Greek, Roman, Phoenician, Egyptian, or from Mesopotamia (read, if you want, anything Roman or Greek about the Skyths, the Huns, Vandals, Garamantes...).

<cite> They also kicked Roman arse on the battlefield, and were very hard to keep in line, so Rome did what all lying, greedy superpowers do when challenged: they demonized and dehumanized the enemy. (They still used them in their army, of course, but that's only to be expected.) </cite> They were hard to keep in line, but they most definitely did not kick Roman arse on the battlefield. Roman arse was kicked along the borders of the Roman Empire, such as the Rhine, the Danube, the Atlas mountains, etc. And mostly by actually badly organized, slightly anarchic groups, such as the Goths or the Huns (BTW the Huns were not a Germanic people, even though early 20th century British propaganda likes to say so). Though they were also decisively stopped by the Parthians. Who were very organized. Ah well. <cite> While Rome was still leaving its unwanted babies to die on rubbish dumps - a perfectly acceptable form of family planning to this "civilisation" - and keeping women as chattels devoid of rights, the barbarian Celts had a long-standing legal system that not only gave women what we would think of as equal rights, but also protected the rights of the elderly, children, and the disabled. They had a road network across Europe and worldwide trade long before the Romans ever got their act together. And their science - well, their astronomical calculations were so sophisticated that it takes computers to do the same stuff today. </cite> See? You even say yourself that they weren't actually anarchic. Also you're not completely right: 1. women (of most Celtic cultures, with one notable exception being the Irish) were not allowed to become druids, e.g. scientists, physicians, priests, or any other kind of academics, so they did not have equal rights. Also, as in other Indo-European systems, the family was patriarchal. 2. the roads they had were more like paths, and did not span the entirety of Europe; the old roads that are still in use are nearly all of them Roman. Had the Celtic inhabitants of Gallia or Britannia built comparable roads, why would the Romans have invested in building a new system on top? 3. world-wide? Yeah, right. They traded with those who traded with others and so were able to trade with most of southern Eurasia and northern Africa, as well as few northern parts (Balticum, Rus), but that's (surprise) not the whole world. 4. most people use computers for those calculations you mention because its easier. It's not necessary. I can do those calculations - give me some time to study astronomy (I'm a math major, not physics) and some pencils and paper. 5. and - I nearly forgot - the kids didn't die. That was a polite fiction. The harsh truth is that most Roman slaves were Romans... <cite> So - not barbarians. Just a threat to the empire, a culture that wouldn't let the Pax Romana roll over it without a fight. (Except the French tribes, who did roll over, and were regarded by the Germanic Celts [...]) </cite> WTF Germanic Celts? What are you smoking, woman? Isn't it enough that you put every culture speaking a language from the Celtic family in one pot and act as if they were one people, now you have to mix in a different language-family as well? Shall we continue that trend? What about the Mongolian Celts, are they, too, proof that the Celts were badass warriors? I think at this point I just lost all leftover trust in your so-called knowledge. <cite> [...] as being as bad as the Romans. Suck on that, Asterix... </cite> Asterix was definitely a Celt, and unlike the British Celts, he was not a citizen of the Roman Empire.

<cite> Broad brush-stroke time; Celts were not a centralized society but more a network of townships and tribes, a loose alliance of clans who had their own internal spats, but when faced with some uppity outsider would come together to drive off the common threat. </cite> They might have tried, but they didn't. The first and only time a Celtic people really managed to drive off some uppity outsider would be 1922 following the Anglo-Irish Treaty of 1921*. The fact that France, Spain, Portugal speak Romance languages and the British (or Irish) Isles nearly uniformly speak English should be proof enough.

*Unless you count Asterix. <cite> You couldn't defeat them by cutting off the head. There was no head to cut off. </cite> You mean unlike Boudica and Vercingetorix. Oh wait. Tacitus, in his Annals, said that Boudica's last fight cost 80,000 Britons and 400 Romans their lives. He was probably exaggerating. But it definitely stopped much of the British resistance in its tracks. <cite> To the centralized, formal, rather bureaucratic Romans, for whom the city of Rome was the focus of the whole empire, this was a big does-not-compute. The Celts were everything they didn't understand. And we fear what we don't understand, and we kill what we fear. </cite> While that is totally true, it's also completely off the mark. The Romans demonized the druids, not every Celt, and they were afraid of what was basically an academic network. That had nothing to do with war. <cite> Anyway, Mandos....once I took a single concept - in this case, the idea of clans that operated on a loose alliance system, like the Celts - the rest grew organically. I didn't plan it out in detail from the start. </cite> That's really obvious. Maybe looking at some numbers and remembering that you weren't planning a small, local, rural, medieval community would have helped, too. I mean lets have a look at, say, Scotland (since you specifically mentioned the Picts): they still have less than 6 mio. people all together, and that's today. Mandalore is a sector. A sector of Outer Space with at least 2000 inhabited planets. How do you think that translates? It doesn't. <cite> I just asked myself what a culture of nomadic warriors would value, how they would need to operate to survive, and it all grew inexorably by logical steps. The fact that Mandos ended up as very much like the Celts is proof that the technique of evolving a character or species - find the niche, then work out what fits it - works every time. It creates something very realistic, because that's how real people and real societies develop. </cite> Celtic people were usually not nomadic! And, once again, non of them were predominantly warriors! It's really hard to be a nomadic farmer. I believe the biggest mistake you made, Ms Traviss, is mixing up the Iron Age (and earlier) tribes that did indeed sack Rome and parts of Greece, and that one day would become the people the Romans conquered. And apart from the Picts they really were conquered. <cite> So all I can say about Mandos and Spartans is that the average Mando would probably tell a Spartan to go and put some clothes on, and stop looking like such a big jessie. </cite>

I'd really like to see a Mando – or anyone – wearing full plate without modern or Star Wars technology in Greece. Happy heatstroke. There is a reason they didn't wear a lot (look up the Battle of Hattîn, where crusaders who didn't wear full helmets and wore chainmail* still suffered badly from heat exhaustion). [Nicolle, David (1993), Hattin 1187: Saladin's Greatest Victory] *chainmail apparently can work like a heatsink CONCLUSION You're wrong. And I felt offended by your FAQ answers. QUESTION You're English. You're from England. A group - a nation - that was historically so warlike and so successful that by now we all speak English. A nation that definitely kicked arse against any Celtic nation trying to go against them (until 1921, and they really tried anyway). A nation that had arguably the largest Empire in history. A nation that still is barbaric and warlike enough that a lost football game has people honestly fearing for their lives.

Also, a Germanic group, since you seem to have trouble keeping language-families and cultures apart. If we were to talk about the family, we could add on the current most aggressively attacking nation (USA) plus the former most aggressively attacking nations (the second and third German Reich), also the people who killed off the Roman Empire for good (the Goths and Visigoth), the original berserkers (the Vikings) and claim at the very least the start of BOTH WORLD WARS. Why did you look further?

Some other sources:

Histoire de la vie privée by Georges Duby and Philippe Ariès, the first book  (about the antiquity) I read it translated, my French is ... bad to non-existent

The Day of the Barbarians: The Battle That Led to the Fall of the Roman Empire  (about the Huns) by Alessandro Barbero

If you speak Dutch or German, you might try

Helmut Birkhan: Kelten. Versuch einer Gesamtdarstellung ihrer Kultur, Verlag der Österreichischen Akademie der Wissenschaften, Wien

Janssens, Ugo, De Oude Belgen. Geschiedenis, leefgewoontes, mythe en werkelijkheid van de Keltische stammen. Uitgeverij The House of Books

DISCLAIMER

I’m angry and I wrote this down in one session and thus probably made some mistakes. I’m sorry. Or maybe I’m not sorry. I’m still angry. She can’t know who reads her FAQ and at least two of her answers (on her professional website) were offensive to the reader.

[kjscottwrites]

hiya, i am very interested in outlining techniques/habits. would you be willing to do a whole post about yours?

Sure! I love outlining and talking about outlining so bless u and sorry for this rambling in advance. Let me get into it with the caveat that by no means is this an instructional, I have zero professional experience, this is just the way I do it, and everything I learned I learned from ... fuckin film school lmao so it's unlikely to be optimized for writing novels anyway.

ANYWAY - I'll break it down into steps:

Step 1: The Dump

I always start with something loose and improvisational I'll call it a "scratch" or a "dump" outline, pretty much no rules with this one. Sometimes it'll be a free-write in a word document, sometimes a structured outline, sometimes just word bubbles and a bunch of bs scribbles on a piece of notebook paper. Whatever.

This is always focused on just the initial idea. I typically avoid granular character details like names and appearances and personalities at this point - I stick to general utilitarian figures, the bare minimum I need to move them through the story. Emotional arcs and defining traits and backgrounds come later - this way I can make each character weave seamlessly into the narrative, vs trying to make the narrative mold to a bunch of misc. preset characters.

At this point, my MAIN goal is to nail down three key things:

A) What's the central dramatic question?

B) What are the stakes?

C) What are the messages/themes I want to touch on?

For Cavernous specifically (and for a lot of my other projects) I used the snowflake method as a jumping off point. I'll start with a couple of sentences, expand that rough logline into a 2-3 paragraph summary, then expand that summary out into something between 2k-10k words that maps onto a rough beginning, middle, end. (I personally try to avoid strict 3-act structure, save the cat, heroes journey etc. but if these help you, use them!) If I'm not sure about a certain part of the story at this point, I just skip it and put in a placeholder like "and then something bad happens and they..." The point is making a vessel for the story, not necessarily filling that vessel.

ANYWAY this is getting long so I'll put the rest of the steps under the cut:

Step 2: The Actual™ Outline

Were I working on a screenplay, this part would be "breaking the story" but idk if y'all call it that for novels. Basically I expand things out into a more formal/traditional outline slash treatment, like probably between 8k-15k words? This is an action-to-action synopsis, broken up chapter-by-chapter (or scene-by-scene for a screenplay) without skipping anything. If there's unknowns, plot holes, or other problems, this is where I fix them.

My rule of thumb for outlines is mainly just "describe it on the page EXACTLY how you'd describe it to your friend who asked you what the scene was about." Hit only the important stuff, keep it informal/conversational, do NOT worry about specificity and good prose. Sometimes I put memes or emojis in these, it's like. Whatever captures it in the absolute easiest way.

I use bullet points: A) whenever I'm not sure what order I want things to play out in. This is especially useful for worldbuilding/exposition heavy scenes where I want a defined set of information to get doled out organically in the drafting. B) When a scene is complicated/action-packed/has multiple side by side storylines.

I use stream-of-consciousness paragraphs for pretty much everything else. Here's a little sample of the Cavernous outline for reference. This is pretty much how my outlines are gonna read on any type of project:

I'll also do a lot of character work in this step! Which i won't talk about a ton bc this is already long and that's a WHOLE topic on its own - basically this stuff:

(also making a lot of picrews like, so many fucking picrews)

If there's multiple parallel storylines, I decide at this point exactly what order they go in and how they're paced out. Logically you should write your A Line, B Line and C Line separately and weave them together after the fact, but for some reason I basically never do that - working strictly chronologically makes more sense to me. Why? Because I am smooth brained. I don't recommend it, it's a hassle. ANYWAY color coding for multiple storylines is *essential* either way. Cavernous has just an A and B line in the first half, and a diverging C line in the second half which re-merges with the B line by the end. I plan on having the second book structured similarly!

The other thing I do during this step is some of the more utilitarian stuff - I make decisions about format, perspective and tense, wordcount goals, target demo etc.

MOST importantly I lock in my logline and elevator pitch at this step. I know that if I'm struggling to write either of these successfully, something is amiss in the foundation of the story and I have to go back and find it and fix it (or chose to cut my loses and move on to a new project, even) before I ever start drafting.

Step 3: Being inconvenienced Usually this is where I start drafting until I start to get forgetful and sick of referencing back to my wordy-ass outline

Step 4: Making a technical outline to fix step 3

I'm not really sure you could call it an outline? Actually no, yeah I'd call it a beat sheet. It's an easily edited quick-reference version of the Actual™ Outline. Anyway I gave an example of the one for cavernous here - so I'll share a bit from a different project:

Some of these points are expanded for a bit of clarity but some of them are just shorthand - this isn't necessarily decipherable to a reader, but *I* know what "Lundis receives a sign" means and as long as I have it in this simplified structure I can easily rearrange and move that D line scene up so that it falls just after the titles if I want, for instance.

I typically force myself to stay on track, but IF shit starts going off the rails in the drafting stage in a way that I like, I always stop, go back, adjust the outline(s) accordingly, make sure everything still works, and then go back to drafting. Because I deadass can't write without a roadmap. I become completely helpless and grind to a halt.

So yeah. Maybe all this will be helpful to someone? Maybe it's not. My biggest piece of advice for anyone looking to hone their outlining/structure/planning skills is take 👏 a 👏screenwriting 👏 course 👏because even if you have zero interest or intention to do screenwriting, the discipline is SO technical and SO different and it'll at WORST offer a new perspective. That's my soapbox. Okay love u bye

[batarangsoundsdumb]

yet another ask dump yeehaw!

do you ever think that jay's mother was one of those bitch who believes in horoscope and tarots and things like that and so he believes in these things too, or it is just me projecting?

sheila haywood took one look at jason's birthchart said 'nah this won't do' and left.

Wait, but what happens when the justice league does find out that Bruce and John fucked? Lmao it sounds like it would be hilarious, really, I don’t want a justice league that doesn’t make fun of Bruce for like his entire life.

barry runs out of the meeting immediately and comes back with an entire sti testing kit. diana fully seriously wants bruce to get tested while bruce is sitting there like 'come on guys, you're being ridiculous, i already checked twice'

john is standing in the corner clearly offended while bruce is just like 'don't even say anything, constantine, you fucked a shark'

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

on the one hand, good for him, on the other hand, bro, how do you still have a secret identity when your superhero name is just your last name,,,,

Your fic on ao3 was GOLD PLEASE CONTINUE I loved Dinah's cameo btw ( @purple-vixen

thanks so much! i already continued but this ask is like 10 years old because i'm a notorious procrastinator (also yes! i love dinah so much aahhhhhhhhhhhh)

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

bruce internally: holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit bruce externally: get out of my city, alien

AHHH ur multimedia fic is the only thing that brings me happiness anymore continue it forever pls

uhh thanks, but can't continue it forever because my attention span is that of a toddler on crack on a good day and i can't function without at least 10 things going on at the same time and music in the background

Oi, so I'm getting into dc and watching batman the animated series, and they use fruitcake a lot. Which I thought was very funny and wanted to share w you - Denilla

wait like fruitcake (food) or fruitcake (derogatory) ?

young justice 🤝 teen titans slut shaming batman

tim drake and dick grayson to their respective teams 'you guys stop it, that's my dad'

Happyhoganon: If an eighty year old Batman had fought crime in Gotham City for decades and the only threats to him and the city lately are a wheel chair bounded Penguin, your usual purse snatchers and a few con artists popping up every now and then, how well could the Dark Knight do in maintaining the peace in Gotham despite him being just somewhat fit to do that as an elderly man (which says A LOT given how old he is)

uhh he'll probably do what my grandpa does and that is ruthlessly prank them until they die of shame.

in the death in the family interactive movie there's an ending where Jason is tasked with raising Damian and he decides he's gonna raise Damian to take down the waynes and al ghuls which uh maybe isn't great BUT the idea of Jason raising Damian... PRICELESS. CHAOTIC. I just need more people to know about this :)

yes i saw that wow holy shit but jason would accidentally drop damian on his head one (1) hour in and jason just yeets him into the lazarus pit.

Headcanon: The Penguin has a really hard time fighting any of the Robins because of his avian obsession means there's always a small part of his mind that's like "Birb. Child. Protect" ( @subspacecadet )

as soon as dick becomes nightwing the penguin is like 'you know what, fuck this dude' and shoots at him.

Y'all talking about King Shark dating Constantine, let's not forget about John literally hooking up with Satan

listen there's a clear difference between monsterfucker and satanfucker in that king shark is literally a shark and satan still looks like a normal dude

Does everyone in Gotham think Batman is a teen dad?

everyone in gotham thinks batman has been around since gotham was founded, but they do think that bruce wayne is actually a teen father and dick grayson's biological dad.

why. why would you do that fancast when you know it will only hurt people

what? i loved my fancast it was really well done. i did it with good representation in mind and i really managed that with alfred pennyworth being ✨italian✨

Seeing james charles a jason gave me psychic damage how dare you i need to wash my eyes

well that's a you problem isn't it?

do you think dick grayson thirst tweets about nightwing just to annoy his family/cause problems on purpose in general?

he thinks nightwing is hot, next question.

holy jiminy cricket batman, its as cold as the good lords ass crack in here!!

i- what? this is why i don't fuck with english expressions it's way too goddamn weird

Brooooooo, your teen dad!Bruce au is soooo good. I've got brainrot.

Honestly if you ever write anymore, I'd read that shit twice. Sign me the fuck up. Good stuff, Good Stuff.

uh yeah i'm thinking about writing a fic, but i have exams coming up and i don't wanna fail because that would suck. but after i'll certainly be writing more tho

your teen dad AU is so great! bruce acting like a big brother for all of like a week before he's telling everyone about his son. what if in the AU dick meets the JL because they need to rescue him? maybe he's in trouble/kidnapped at a gala and bruce starts calling for JL. clark finds him and has to fly with dick to bring him home - that's how dick and clark meet and superman becomes dick's fave hero. he goes around the manor thinking he can fly with a red blanket draped around him like a cape.

actually- if you want a young dad! bruce fic with like that kinda stuff(just with damian) go check uhh- in for a penny by cdelphiki. it's really good and bruce is like 24/25-ish. (and dick's there!!!)

This account has solely convinced me that Tim is a trash goblin ( @hamilcat-and-magic-turtle )

because he is. that boy has slept in dumpsters on multiple occasions even if he is the son of a billionaire.

Okay but when you said victory dance I did think of the whole justice league defeating the big bad and then they all start flossing

well that's exactly what hal jordan does and that's why batman uses a gun now. no but the victory dance in my opinion is like the 'we're all in this together' dance from high school musical.

The horrors in Invincible s1 was nothing compared to the comics, I cant wait for s2

oh well okay, i mean i personally react to horror and violence by laughing awkwardly so i can't wait to be called a monster for accidentally laughing at a mass murder.

I'm currently watching Batman: The Brave and The Bold and- Bruce is just talking about Oliver like he's an old love (@nightwings-kid)

okay im going to watch that lmao that's totally and completely in character for him tho.

The invincible comic is like super gratuitous with its violence so much so I'm shocked the show was able to adapt it in a faithful way! Anyway had the show been live action it absolutely wouldn't have the same impact as it does as an animated show and I'm so glad so many people agree with me on that

also because a live action casting would've been like uhh amanda stenberg for amber, the dude- the guy from the supernatural but with a mustache for omni-man, and scarlet johanssen for debbie grayson

Debbie grayson is a milf, yes. You're welcome for the invincible propoganda, now you can questions your life. Bruce def seems like the perfect father next to Omni-man. Like they really took a rip off justice league and I was like well, now I'm attached even tho I was like hah I know who they're supposed to be. And then bam- death gore death gore gore gore sad Mark grayson just had to have daddy issues. Why does every character have daddy issues. I'm sick of the attacks

because daddy issues make a person arguably funnier, that's why i'm not even remotely funny (haha good dad flex). i liked that it was dark contextually, but not in the colouring, bc i hate when it's like 'uh yeah graphic murder and now a shot so dark you have to sit in a dark room and squint at the screen to faintly see the characters. (like dcau ugh)

About the Wayne insurance, for a moment I thought you would put the video with moans over the waves.

i mean- i could've done that, but rick rolling seemed more family friendly.

Its the first time in forever that im surpise rickrolled, i usually expect it. Congratulations (i really should know better this is tumblr)

i get rickrolled so often but i actually like the song so i dont really give a fuck

Actually, my information about Damian and John's kids is outdated because it was revealed that the old men telling the kids stories about the Supersons were actually Jon and Damian the whole time. I was blinded by my thirst for Grandpa!Bruce Wayne but I was wrong... I liked my version better, tbh (@artemisa97)

fair enough. but i'd honestly like to see damian and jon getting together, just because it's a really fun dynamic and their friendship was really cute when they were kids. (also idk maybe it would be nice to have one (1) main batfam/superfam character that's not cishet)

How am i JUST finding your blog skdskfkd you're so fucking funny and ur takes are hot

i thought u were calling me hot :( but youre not :( crime detected (but lmao thanks)

So I have depression and I swear that your memes are one of the few things that have made me laugh so thank you 💛🥺 (@katekanebadass)

aw you're welcome, and i hope you're doing okay!

The metropolis memes are so funny, I love them 💀😌

i think metropolis is also so fucking funny it deserves more attention imagine having your entire police force being upstaged by an alien from kansas and his kids

as an american i feel your complete lack of knowledge of us geography is just so sexy (platonic) ❤️

thanks so much (i also don't know any other geography, i'm not kidding, like you can tell me you're from hungary and it will just blank, there will be nothing that comes to mind)

In the DC universe they don't say "Can't have shit in Detroit" they say "Can't have shit in Gotham"

this just reminds me of that guy whose porch got stolen like the steps to his door, and i'm thinking of people living in gotham and waking up without a front door and going "can't have shit in gotham"

honestly all i know about chicago is the bean, so. what would gotham's famous sculpture be?

gigantic gargoyle statue in front of one of the police precincts because a villain thought it was a smart way to keep the police inside, but it's too heavy to move.

why tf do people go on about how batman "works alone" or how he's the "lone wolf" when he like 38290202 members in his family

bc people think it's cool that a grown man in his 30s has no friends or family instead of calling it what it is (sad)

Bruce is gotham's sugar daddy

why would say something so controversial yet so brave.

my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context

dick: gerard way are you in position, gerard way are you in position

tim: for the last fucking time, my codename is 'totally not count olaf' this week, abbafan 3000

dick: shut up my codename isn't 'abbafan 3000'

dick: it's 'abbafan number 1' and you know it

I have a feeling Tim drake is ur favourite batfamily member but okay u don't have favs if u say so ok

i mean he is, i won't deny it. but i love each and every one of the batfam just the same, i just have a weak spot for short dumbass nerds, because i'm a short dumbass nerd.

Omg i fuckin love boy meets world too fam shsjkfk

bro boy meets world was the shit!!! it was just fire and awesome and so fucking great like bro. it was so good im not even going to be accepting criticism

you know I find the whole "joker completes batman" thing a bit disgusting considering the horrendous stuff the batfamily went through because of the joker and let's not get started on the "joker has a point" thing like yeah he's this cool complex villain but he's absolutely batshit crazy

like yes! i get what you mean the joker just fucking sucks man he doesn't do shit for batman's character or the batfam he's literally just annoying as fuck. like the joker has a point' shit is so stupid. i will accept 'magneto was right' because he fucking was and i think he didn't do anything wrong, but joker? he's just like that. he's not even cool and complex he's just a weirdo with a bleach kink at this point.

ALSO YOUR RACISM POST- SO TRUE BESTIE

thanks bestie, i'm glad you agree.

in today's essay of why I think cass should become batman- I was thinking Tim would probably be the most efficient batman in many ways but I also think he wouldn't want to be batman tbh none of the batfamily members would want to be batman because they're trying to outgrow him but cass is the one who wants to represent the symbol that is batman

absofuckinglutely i will say it again and again that cass represents the batsymbol more than anyone in the batfam, in batgirl (2000) she literally didn't care about anything else than bruce's oath to not kill, she thought the batsymbol was more important than anything in gotham. she's just an excellent character because her motivation to not kill is not 'i'm scared i can't come back from it' or 'well my dad says no murder so i'll go along with it' but that she's killed somebody as a young child and she never wants to kill a human ever again and that's so fucking beautiful for a new batman like yes.

need more cass, duke and tim inclusion in gothamite memes

yes yes, a tall order of cass, duke and tim coming up in 1-14 business days

oldest to youngest batfam members cus I'm confused as shit

okay order of being taken in: dick, jason, tim, cass, damian, duke order of age: alfred, bruce, dick, cass, jason, tim, duke, damian (though cass and jason are around the same age general consensus is that cass is a little older)

I'm so confused Steph is a redhead?? like how was it that hard to get this right? the source material is literally right there and free

cw is jared, 19

do you receive anon hate? if so, how do you deal with it

uh no, i'm not remotely popular enough to get anon hate and i also don't say a lot of things that would attract anon hate, but i do send anon hate to @the-real-peter-parker because he forgot about the specialists from winx club

Wait how many languages do you speak??

uhh- 5 if you include latin, but that's a dead language and i'm really bad at it. but english, my native language, german, and french also, tho german and french not fluently.

You can mix aguaepanela with aguardiente 😈 and is tasty

okay but now i'm curious if the liquor deserves the 😈 emoji or if that's a you problem. but i googled it and it looks like something you'd take one sip of and then not remember the rest of your evening.

[graceful-not]

Alright.. this is kind of a brain dump, really. Just some things I've been letting boil in my brain for a bit... This might be kinda long though, so I'll be putting it under a read more.

SBSBBSBS NOTE: THIS ISNT LIKE SOME VENT OR ANYTHING ITS about the officialverse/general writing shit and like. Me analyzing stuff. Bc. I want to. The topics gonna jump a lot.

Oh edit btw forgot to mention; it's perfectly fine to RB!! I encourage it I love seeing y'all's thoughts on my stuff. Please argue with me (in a safe and loving way)

Idk... It's just. The whole point of a RP is that it's a multiple person experience, yeah, but there are parts of a character that people have made that need to see light. I generally make support characters so everyone else can go buckwild and have fun (being the healer in RPGs, etc etc etc), and that doesn't just carry over to stats. If you look at Lyra, she's a genuinely interesting person with a rich past, and she FEELS real! Why is that? Because, well.. she doesn't infodump about her life to every person she meets- I can't really speak because the way I make characters is that I start with what they look like and a general base personality/backstory, plus things their good at, make the rest up as I rp (plus revise old stuff). She wasn't always a licensed therapist, I just looked at how everyone else was going and molded her character to fit the current group while she was still new and impressionable- she filled the roles that were lacking. When there's an excess angst, you need a person for your character to spill their traumatic past to. Shes that person, and it helps for her to be professionally qualified to do it, so it's never out of character.

But.. the group has changed. A lot. And I've rped things in the past that make ZERO sense for her character. (She was low-key manipulative at some points-) and with the whole The Haze(period of time in which no one was rping and online for like. A WHIILE.) Everyone's characters have changed and.. she can't really keep up with the status quo. All this stuff changing and moving and shifting- I mean she's trying to be supportive but I can't even really let her have a proper mental breakdown so she can grow because the narrative is dealing with way more important things!!!! There's no time! People might die!!

..

I guess, pulling back into what I was talking about earlier with the infodumping.. RP is supposed to be fun, absolutely correct!! Don't be perfect. Do fuck all. Screw around!!!! But.. it has to be fun for everyone, you know? There's like. The general rp rules, (don't kill another person's character without consent, don't be an asshole or no one will reply to ur rp threads,) etc etc but.. an important one is to just.

Give breathing room.

Let the characters breathe. In between arcs, allow time for fluff or recovery yeah, but also make sure that.. you don't pile things on. You risk pushing people out of the narrative when you put extra things in. For example, Vina, Ellie, Wasabi and Lyra totally just got overshadowed, which makes sense because flower was having a HER moment!! Lots of exiting plot is happening for her and I'm proud! Except then there's all the M!As and then brainwashing anon who may or may not tie into the previous stuff, and then ALSO e!lavender and now their in a forest? Which makes sense for flower I guess but how the fuck did vina get there? Inviz?

I guess just. Don't pile on problem after problem or idea after idea before you solve one. Sub plots are needed, yes, but sub plots should either be there for breathing room or to further the greater narrative, which is currently like. Whatever the fuck happened during The Haze, what the fucks up with this corporation,etc etc. current subplots that further that would be like BW(brainwashing) anon, Flowers whole metal thing, etc etc.

There's obviously going to be personal plots!! Plots that your character is working on within them. Lyra worrying and sorta having a crisis about all the shit happening, Wasabi's recovery, Inviz trying to find out what the fuck happened with his anon blaster. Those are all things that only a select few people really interfere with, and theyre instead explained through thoughts and narration.

Also: UTILIZE NARRATION PLEAAASSE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD I love you all but DIALOGUE IS NOT THE ONLY WAY TO SHOW EMOTION your repressed character dealing with extreme trauma isn't gonna go

"Oh im just here because I'm new and my parents abandoned me here because they knew the chief and were about to die, the wings are from my mom who is an angel."

"oh yea where's the bathroom btw" PLEAASE let your characters SHOW their internal dialogue, like maybe

"OH- sorry, still getting used to this where's the bathroom?"

What she didn't want to say was that it was actually her first day. She attempted to hide her wings by folding them into her back. She didnt want any questions about it, even if she would like to talk about it to someone..

That gives the other person space to let their character decide if they notice the other person looking a bit distressed, and for both of you to sort of get to know how each others characters interact BEFORE jumping into the heavy plot. Give it time!

Alright bye love y'all ❤️

[human-person234]

UPDATE UPDATE UP DATE U P D A A A T E

I'm sobbing with relief, you guys. I've been so stuck on this. I can't believe it took me two months to update. Things were getting better, over the last week or so I managed to write a few sentences here and there, but today it just clicked and I banged out the whole chapter like nobody's business. It feels so good. I don't have the next one written, but I have it outlined, and I have a tentative outline for the rest of the fic--not that we're too near the end, yet. It's just a good sign.

I have some thoughts about the chapter, the fic, and its effect on my mental health, but I have a feeling this will get long so I'm going to put a break. Click if you want to read my rambling about all that, I guess.

Writing this fic ended up being a bigger part of my personal mental health journey than I anticipated, so it's natural that they'd be intertwined. I only wrote it because I was so obsessed with the Suicidal Midoriya Izuku tag I ran out of fics to read and had to make my own. Not exactly "mentally stable" behavior.

If you read Wish I Hadn't Got So Much Better, esp my notes and comments, you know that suicidal ideation is a very real issue for me, both in my past and (surprisingly, like for the Izuku of that story) my present.

I'm not opposed to talking about it, so if anyone wants to chat about that kind of stuff, my DMs and asks are open, seriously, I love talking about mental health and any excuse to talk about myself is welcome. But I won't get into it too much here.

Basically, I was depressed, and dealing with some other physical health issues (TURNS OUT I'VE BEEN BREATHING MOLD FOR MONTHS NO WONDER I'M EXTRA LETHARGIC), and when I started to fall behind on updates, that only exacerbated my anxiety and guilt and, thus, depression.

Something else that came up for me was that I don't totally feel qualified to write about suicide recovery, because I never experienced it in the way I'm writing it.

I basically dumped this on Izuku in Wish I Hadn't Got So Much Better, but essentially, I do have experience with being suicidal, just not the "getting help" part. I do see a psychiatrist for my disorders, but no one ever found out about the suicidal part.

So, like Hizashi and Shouta say in Chapter 13, "Who do I think I am? Why do I think I could take care of a child?" I have no idea what guided recovery looks like, because I did it alone. I kept thinking, what if I'm doing it wrong, what if I'm missing something important, what if people who really had these experiences think I'm taking it lightly?

So that's part of the source for my end note for this chapter--I realized that as long as I'm doing my due diligence, I don't have to feel guilty about getting it wrong, because real people get it wrong too. Also, it's fanfiction, I'm allowed some wiggle room. I've read and loved and recommended fics with far looser basis in reality, and never considered complaining. I'm just a harsher critic of myself than I am of others, as are most people.

On a more technical note, I also struggled with pacing the story. I kept feeling like I was stuck in a real-time pace, and I couldn't figure out how to stop describing literally every action my characters took. How hard is it to zoom out and do a fucking timeskip, for goodness' sake?

For me--very hard, it turns out.

So I kind of gave up, gave myself permission to stop trying. I even stopped reading MHA fics for a little while (no way I could stop reading fics, though). I went back to one of my all-time fave fics, from what might be my favorite anime--Run With the Wind. The fic is Beyond the Wind by kstar2091.

Honestly, I thought my first fic would be in this fandom. I figured it would be a poor homage to this fic, a continuation of canon events finally giving us the romance that had been simmering all 23 episodes. My pfp is best boy Kiyose Haiji for a reason.

Uh oh, that was a bit of a tangent.

My point is, re-reading my fave fic (with delicious new chapters) inspired me, bc kstar is legit VERY GOOD at exactly what I was struggling with--passing a lot of in-story time without sacrificing content or intensity.

So, the little interlude in Izu's POV covering a week or so in the chapter I just posted--that's thanks to kstar2091, Beyond the Wind, and ofc my best boy Haiji. Once I got through that bit, it all started flowing like chocolate sauce at a Golden Corral.

There's a lot of juicy bits upcoming, some of which people have been eagerly awaiting. One of them is obvious. Others, you might hate me for?? But also I hope you'll love them, because you're all screwed up like me.

So yeah, I'm not promising weekly updates anymore, but the juices are flowing, the sun is shining, the mold is blooming in my bedroom, and I'm slowly getting back on my mood stabilizers.

If anyone wants to talk about mental health, or ask me anything personal, feel free, you won't offend or upset me. Or, don't say anything, and just keep reading! Or stop reading, idk, it's your life.