#bc its awkward and idek what i would say

[minimoefoe]

I wanna try and knit another cardigan and I have visions of doing stripey cardigans in pride flag colours but the thing about that is having to have a potentially awkward convo with my mum where I mention that that is the plan I have bc I wonder if she'll be like why would I wanna do that, why would I have interest in that, idk idk. I really wanna do it tho so it's a semi awkward convo that I will just have to power through and then also keep having everytime someone potentially buys one and my mum/dad asks me what they bought.... this is even assuming I can make one good enough to sell lmao

[cjrights]

IDK I THINK ITS JUST CAUSE LIKE IK U MIGHT NOT CARE YK… so it’s like if i send it as an ask and u don’t respond i’ll just forget about it but if u leave me on read or delivered cause u dgaf about what i said i’m able to still see the text😭😭 and stop we dooo but i’m still scared idek why (i rlly need to stop being scared of everything)

i rlly hope this is just a phase cause it’s so tiring having to argue 24/7 when i see people my age having their mom as their best friend

honestly me too like with my dad it’s so awkward when we talk and like he basically knows nothing about me and i think it hurts sm bc it’s not anyone’s fault it’s just cause he’s always working so we barely see eachother (sometimes i won’t see him for days at a time bc he comes home so late and i’m already sleeping) 🥲🥲

stop yes it lowk is such a tb like i remember i used to like have ur notifs on and would refresh ur page constantly to see if you replied😭😭😭

- 🌉

OF COURSE I CAREEE i want to hear what you and everyone else has to say! i promise i don’t try to leave any of you on delivered in dms or asks i just be getting so busy

me and and my mom did NOT used to be close she would just yell at me for everything so i understand

aw im so sorry 🥲🥲 something im very grateful for is how much my family loves me and how much i love them, but it was always really hard for me to talk to my parents because they’re not very accepting of lgbtq

YOURE SO CUTE. I LOVE YOU.

[asakurahaos]

*really wants to talk to someone*

*tries to formulate a sentence*

*fails to formulate sentence*

*tells myself ill just try again later*

*later becomes never*

[themikewheelers]

Congrats to ST for kicking ass and taking names at MTV !!!! 

[friendofflowersandfrogs]

Guys I may need a ~little~ help

Idek im having a small itty bitty little crisis over here???? This is (surprisingly) the best place to get advice so here I am.

I may be a *tad* neurodivergent. Ik ik what a big deal /s but here's the thing. I really don't want to be one of those annoying people who appropriate culture or smith or diagnose myself with things to be *special* ya know? But the more I think about it, the more I relate to a lot of the things

1. no me like prolonged eye contact. Especially with a stranger. Its just... awkward and doesn't feel right. I've always just bowed my head in recognition or respect or smth to avoid it im just now realizing.

2. I need escapism to live

3. Sorta related to 2-- I make like alternate versions of myself that I want to be. Not like DID, more like persona's that I'll role-play when I can't handle my real life. That could be normal

4. I do not tick but if I hear a funky sound you better be sure I will try to mimic it without thinking and fail

5. continuing on with #4, randomly drumming my hands on my thighs really fast is very fun and soothing??? especially when tongue trilling???

6. This could be normal too but I need physical contact to express love and affection like, platonic too my friends please sit on my lap or sit shoulder to shoulder with me its so calming

7. loud noises are a no. especially if its a lot of loud noise. I don't do the thing where I hear it all individually or smth but for me it just blurs together until I can't think and it low-key hurts?

8. I didn't used to stim but after I met my bff who did I would just naturally do it with her when I got excited and now I do it normally whenever I feel a really overpowering emotion. I didn't mean to do it in a mocking way or anything it just felt natural and idk

9. I don't hyperfixtate but I like reverse hyperfixtate where I get super duper duper in love with a piece of media and it consumes my thoughts for about a week (or a day or a month) and then it's gone and replaced by the next. I can have the same interest multiple times tho.

10. weighted blankets and blanket burritos are crucial to life.

11. I have realized (don't kill me) I'm unusually smart for my grade? didn't know this until this year but yeah ig things just click in my weird brain in ways it doesn't for others. idk if this is a sign or not.\

12. I fucking need my schedule. If someone asks me to do a relatively large task right then I will have a breakdown cuz it wasn't in my schedule. Idk why I have this but I need my pattern and routine and order yall

13. no me like making new friends. like I wanna im just not good at saying words. not that my stutter is bad (I do have a small one tho when im emotional) but words just don't come to mind and I'm not very funny so I just...dont. connecting with people hard.

14. fidget and stim activities are the best ok. I fiddle with the pop socket on my phone constantly

I'm not sure tho. Cuz my best friend in the whole world who has comprised of much of the important stuff in my life is autistic and maybe I accidentally absorbed some stuff like osmosis over the years we've been close so it might not be real. And if I am, I'm either really low on the spectrum or high-functioning (or both?) bc a lot of things im good at, like social cues, so maybe im not. I'm also not very educated I'm just pointing out things ive noticed that nuerodivergents mention that I do too.... I mean no offense to anybody I just wanna know some opinions? is there a chance im not actually nuerotypical? help

[letteredlettered]

hi! ive been following your writing for a few years now and i drop by periodically to check if you have anything new posted, and im really surprised that you seem to be enjoying the untamed? im curious what you think about the show - its story and characters, the acting, the production, etc. idk if you know, but the untamed is the most successful example of a current trend in chinese entertainment, where popular online novels centered around a gay romance is adapted into a 'safe' drama.

continued:

due to the many explicit and implicit restrictions imposed on creative media in china, many crucial plot points have to be changed (often badly) or removed, including the nature of the relationship between the main characters. the untamed is considered the most loyal adaptation so far, but like all other works in the genre, it received criticism for weak acting and queerbaiting. that's why im really curious about what you think of the show as it is, as itself, free from its context.

if you're interested, you could also check out guardian! it features much better performance and chemistry by the leads imo, but the story was heavily botched bc the original incorporates and reinvents a lot of classic chinese folklore beautifully and stuff like that is considered disrespectful and not-pc. i think it's really sad how so many great pieces of writing with complex world-building and plotlines are simplified into... idek what to call them, but just, less than what they are.

im sorry this turned into a rant. as a mainland chinese person with oh so many frustrations about our current society, it's hard to comprehensively describe my feelings about the untamed's popularity. it's the first mainland chinese show/movie to gain this much organic interest abroad so i should be glad? but, but. anyway, yes, im sorry.

There’s no need to apologize for ranting, but I admit to some confusion as to whether you want your question addressed or the rant. Because I’m me and tend to be thorough, I’ll address everything, in reverse order.

First of all, I’m sorry that this show is sad to you. I’m sorry that the popularity of it is difficult. I’m also deeply sympathetic to your frustrations about your society, as I too am deeply frustrated by my own.

Secondly, yes, I’m aware of the context of The Untamed. I’m aware that the book it’s based on is a BL novel, and that, in order to align with Chinese politics, overt queerness was erased from the adaptation. I’m aware of the censure laws of gay media in China. I’m also aware that some aspects of necromancy and morality were adjusted to make the show more palatable for general audiences, but I’m fuzzier on those details. Lastly, I’m aware that the popularity of the show calls attention to certain things, such as fanfic, and that attention results in more censorship,

The fact of this erasure and this censure provokes a lot of questions: by consuming this product, which contains erasure and censure, do we engage in the erasure and censure? By posting gifs and writing fanfic and talking about this product, do we increase its popularity, thereby encouraging additional erasure and censure? By increasing the popularity of this product, do we diminish the popularity of the original gay morally gray canon, thereby decreasing representation? Do we discourage other authors in China from writing explicitly gay morally gray material? In short, are we allowed to enjoy this media?

I don’t know the answer to these questions. However, I do know that boycott is a very effective tool when it can inflict economic pain on the producer, or when it can exert pressure on an entity to change. That said, I feel like a lot of the calls to boycott certain media these days are a lot like telling people to stop driving their cars to stop climate change: it’s suggesting that individuals can solve the problem, which presupposes individuals are the problem, and therefore fails to address the scope of the problem, or present the possibility of a real solution. Not watching The Untamed isn’t going to change laws about portrayals of homosexuality onscreen in China, partly because the laws in China are a much bigger problem.

The other part of it is that The Untamed is coded queer, so if you run a successful boycott against it, you end up with . . . less queer TV. I know a whole lot less about China than I do about the Hays Code, but if you had told gay people during the Golden Age of Hollywood that they couldn’t enjoy movies that were coded queer because they weren’t explicitly queer, they’d have said you were crazy. In fact, many people will tell you that media that was coded queer was a big reason we got more explicit queer stuff later. And as I’m sure you’re aware, the US is still fighting that battle . . . partly because it wants to sell movies to China.

So then there’s a question about whether me, an American in the US, liking something coded queer from China but not explicitly queer--does that encourage Chinese censorship? Should I only support texts that are explicitly queer? But the answer is the same--it’s not addressing the scope of the problem, and by supporting texts that are coded queer, you could be paving the way in the future for something brighter.

But you weren’t talking about boycott! You were talking about your discomfort with the popularity with this show, which I accept. I understand feeling uncomfortable. I can only hope it makes you a bit more comfortable to know that plenty of fans are deeply aware of the context and do wrestle with the question of what liking this show means in the context of a society that would never allow aspects of the original to be portrayed onscreen.

Thirdly, I’m not against trying Guardian at some point, but by comparing the acting and chemistry of the leads to The Untamed, I feel like you prove our tastes are very different in these regards. I love the acting of the leads in The Untamed; I found their chemistry off the charts. It’s okay you don’t feel the same.

Lastly, you asked my opinion of The Untamed: its story and characters, the acting, the production, sans context of the canon upon which its based and censorship laws in China.

a. I love the overall story, but the plot has deep plot holes. Quite a few segments do not actually make sense to me, because the plot is so haywire. However, I’ve never cared that much about plot, except when it gets in the way of characters and themes, and for the most part, this plot serves its characters and themes, except when the parts they leave out are so confusing that I cannot follow the story. As for the story, it feels like it’s built for me, because ultimately it’s about moral decisions and how to make them; it’s about guilt and paying for mistakes; it’s about learning, changing your mind, and remaking yourself. Really, I’m not sure there are many stories I love more--except they killed my favorite character, and I almost quit. So, that certainly put a damper on things.

b. I love the characters most of all, although the villains are really two-dimensional. However, large parts of the plot are not Hero vs Villain, they’re Hero vs Society, and then some Hero vs Himself in a way that suggests the Hero is no longer a hero. I could talk about the characters forever, but suffice it to say I think they’re really strong. Also, the relationships are really exquisite, particularly when it comes to family dynamics. Unfortunately, they killed my favorite character off. Also unfortunately, there are six women in this show, only two of them are main characters, and every single one of them dies. It disgusts me.

c. I think the two leads are exceptional, in particular Xiao Zhan . . . when he’s not being too broad, which he is quite a bit. However, I do wonder how much of this is direction and production style, because in many instances, he’s quite subtle, and the choices he makes are astounding. Then there are times where it’s like they needed more footage, or wanted to drive home a point, and he turns on the extra, and it’s awful. It could just be him, but I actually feel it’s the case with most of the actors, which does make me think it’s a directing issue. Meng Ziyi never really has that problem though, because she is the most perfect of all. But then take He Peng, who I actually thought could be incredible, but every scene was just SO BROAD that I began to feel sorry for the poor dude having to act that part. But there is nothing to be said for Wang Zhuo Cheng, who really is just terrible, which is sad, because it’s a great part.

d. Production-wise, it’s really hit and miss. So much of the locations are truly beautiful. A lot of the costumes are too, unless the shot is too close. I actually don’t mind the wigs; I love the long hair. The CGI is terrible. And then while a lot of the shots are beautiful, some of them are awkward, and the pacing is really difficult, imo. It really seems like they wanted to drag it out, and there are so, so many scenes where I’m sort of embarrassed that we’re in the same scene or that we’re still looking at someone’s face, or that everyone is just standing there waiting for the shot to finally end.

I will say that film is a language that does differ from culture to culture. It could be that both the broadness of the acting and the awkwardness of the editing are my cultural lens based on American and a lot of western film. When I watched older Hollywood films, the acting is a lot more broad and maybe a little less “true” feeling, but I understand that it’s not the case everyone in the past was a bad actor. It was just a different style, so I’m not sure I’m equipped with the cultural knowledge of Chinese acting, cinematography, and editing to be able to really judge the value of these things.

I do know how I feel, which is that the editing is the biggest hurdle for me while watching the show. However, I feel that the beauty of it makes up for a lot, and the strength of the characters and themes really carries it.

I hope I addressed your points adequately, and I wish you well.

[eitelle]

YOOO CAN I PRETTY PLEASE GET A MATCHUP OKAY UH HERES SOME THINGS ABOUT ME

-i love worms on a string, yk those thingys? idk how you wouldnt know anyways. these bitches.

-chronically ill gang gang B)

-my fav color is light green wnd baby pink :) although my blog is purple.... tf

-sun gemini, rising gemini, moon aquarius, venus taurus, mars leo, mercury cancer <3

-can i get matched with a haikyuu boy pretty please

-i may or may not be 4’10 😐

-the names mack duhhhhhh

-im an intp

-favorite foods are penne pasta, cake, fried rice, and french fries (￣▽￣)

-im super swag. actuALLY IM A SWAGLORD

-a lot of my friends either call me the mom friend or the overprotectivr friend

-i rlly rlly love playing jailbreak on roblox- i bully kids there too but i genuinely play jailbreak like hours a day

-im awkward. really fuckin awkward.

-i cant tell social cues for SHIT

-i normally match people’s energies cause im worried everyone hates me 🥵🥵

-i had a raging fnaf phase in sixth grade

-my favorite candy is sour punch straw bites they SLAP OH MY GOD

-when im nervous i play with my hands

-im really fuckin touch starved bro. like it’s so bad ou my god

-i like to smell like roses

-my fav flowers are roses actually hehe

-i love strawberries and raspberries and blueberries sm. hands down best fruits are berries

-idek what else to say message me if you need anything else 🥵🥵🥵🥵

bitch u scare me so much. anyways. UR MF 4’10 I- HAHAHAHDJDJDDHHDNXHCHEJDFH HINATA- AND-AND NISHINOYA ARE TALLER THAN YOU *WHEEZE*

i match you with: tooru oikawa jkjk i match you with kuroo tetsurou 🤩

i gave u such a good one be thankful mf

hcs:

yall have study dates pls-

not that u get any work done

YOU HAVE TO TUTOR HIM IN ENGLISH SJSHDHJDJDHXH

he will force u to be nekomas manager. no doubt.

mf will learn ab astrology for you

in turn you play with his hair

yall would growl and bark over text 😞👎

jkjk i do it too

friends to lovers only u forced ur friends to come w yall to ur dates bc yall awkward as hell‼️

tried to call u kitten,,, he ended up calling u his milf 😐🙏

you tell him he reminds u of all of bakusquad but mostly sero

he then watched mha

he now kins sero.

adopted a stray cat and named it tink idfk why

its small and white and fluffy tho

he was debating on naming it marshmallow... what in the white straight girl-

MF I CAN HEAR HIS LAUGH HELP-

imagine:

you and kuroo walking hand in hand on a walk in the park and then you trip over a mushroom. idk why. but then before you can fall you hear your spiky haired nerd of a bfs annoying hyena laugh behind you causing u to land on your knees.

“DID YOU JUST- TRIP OVER A- A- MUSHROOM,” he gasped out helping you to your feet as you stand up glaring at him.

“yeah and if you kin sero shouldnt u be able to save me?” you say in retaliation. it shut him up real fast causing you two to walk home in silence. then he said before you were about to apologize, “it was still funny tho.” before you throttled his ass 🥰🥺🙏

^artbreeder kuroo

ok now texts. JEJSHDHJDDHCH

i cant do yalls ship name. i physically dont trust myself,,, like literally im so tired rn PLS- anyways here u go milf

[1-800-i-ship-it]

khun modern bf headcanons?

Hmm oof i am probably not the best person to be asking this cause I dont write fics or anything but I’ll do my best

So i realized that i just wrote plot stuff but im posting anyway cause i spent way too long on this ahaha 

apologies in advance for typos that I'm too lazy to go through and correct

Enjoy the headcanons that i wrote later + plots that i originally wrote and went on a long tangent on oops

Headcanons:

Khun would be that subtle overprotective boyfriend 

He’d just kinda silently watch from afar but he’d totally kill anybody who hurt bam in any way, shape, or form

But he’d like be SUPER sweet with bam like

Pet names yall PET NAMES like khun and bam would prob both mutually melt when they call each other pet names

Khun would always help bam with hw and whatnot, let’s pretend bam’s a physics genius cause thats just how i imagine him in modern life, always has trouble with law class (he’s  taking it just for khun so he can understand what khun’s talking about) so khun helps him

Khun would be a super smooth talker, can woo a n y b o d y, exceptional at speeches, captain of speech and debate team

Khun would never admit he’s jealous but like the whole gang would know (except for bam who’s clueless as usual) 

Like bam is friendly with everybody so khun’d just be like ugh screw yall 

But then bam always confides in him and spends a crapload amt of time with him so he knows he’s just doubting himself and he’s mad at himself about it cause he knows bam is loyal to a fault and would never betray him

When bam gets older bam uses this against him hehe

Khun would also be that bf that everyones jealous of 

Everyone would want to be with khun but he only has eyes for bam

Ignores everybody else who hits on him

Side note i still stan top!bam and bottom!khun 

Khun would also be super thoughtful and goes out of his way to help make bam’s life easier whether its doing chores or smth etc, and each time bam smiles at him and expresses his gratitude khun’s heart would melt for the 1000th time

But like secretly khun really likes confident and sexy bam

They’d probably roleplay ngl (let ur imagination wonder~)

Khun would enjoy just spending time with bam :’) just cuddling and doing mundane things, they’d be super adorable together, hugs and kisses and ah just too cute-

Khun secretly likes bdsm and bam knows this 😏they switch roles from time to time, i cant decide who’s sub/dom

Khun would plan a super elaborate proposal to bam but then somehow bam would catch him off guard and then khun would just blurt it out when they’re together <3

Khun’d always be up early to cook for bam, they both morning ppl tho khun’s always sleep deprived bc hes also a night owl 

Khun is shy with pda in public but eventually he and bam decide they dont care anymore and just hold hands and act all lovey dovey to the point where shibisu cant decide if he’s a proud dad or if he wants to throw up, rak is always proud of his turtles, endorsi and hatz literally want to throw up all the time and would die before admitting that they secretly approve of khunbam

Khun is all around a model bf that i am sure half the fandom would be willing to date but im sorry guys khun’s taken cause he’s only got eyes for bam~

Plot things/idk what they’re called:

CEO!khun and intern!bam

Assassin!khun and assassin!bam who eventually get together and destroy the corrupt system

Gdi i thought of so many while having dinner but i forgot

Hmmmm

Imagine bam as jue viole grace like forced to work in a gang or smth and then khun as the gang boss 

I totally dont have a thing for badass assassin themed things pls dont judge me

Teacher!khun and student!bam (ofc it’d be near graduation if u get my drift...😏)

Idk why i thought of this but imagine idol khun o.o wait YO idol khun + assistant bam

Tutor!khun and student!bam 

I feel like im literally just saying the same ideas

Theres a reason why im not a fic writer :’)

High school sweethearts -> angst bc parents dont approve, sad forced breakup, no contact -> get back together when older after a time-lapse when they’re more mature, heated reunion 

Best friends bam and khun since preschool, since they were in the womb, PINING, both of them scared to admit it cause they dont want to ruin their friendship, meanwhile the entire gang is betting on them getting together (aka mainly rak and shibisu betting, hatz, endorsi, anaak, (insert s2 and s3 gang dont wanna spoil) everybody etc)

Uni students with khun as a law major and bam as a cs major (both geniuses, nerd bam), roommates *insert smirk* lots of pining, blushes from them casually changing in front of each other...the rest is up to ur imagination

Khun and bam as rival sports teams coaches 

Age gap!khunbam (not a lot, somewhere between 5-8 yrs), with bam as the younger one who kept saying that he loves khun but khun just laughs it off bc bams a kid but then khun sees bam after he comes back from college and bam gets a massive glowup from clueless cinnamon roll to clueless cinnamon roll hottie who only has the hots for khun (still) and then khuns all like “fuck” *dies inside*

Single dad khun, bam as a daycare employee who keeps getting flustered by khun, khun takes interest in bam bc he doesn’t ask nosy questions like other ppl, and bam has these mesmerizing golden eyes

Tailor/dry cleaner owner!bam and office worker!khun who constantly needs his clothes to be altered so they fit exactly how he wants them to (this eventually results in awkward moments and blushing), and also dry cleans like his countless number of suits and dress shirts and whatnot

Author!khun and publishing assistant!bam (is it even called publishing assistant honestly i have no idea but u get what i mean right), khun never signs books but bam convinces him to 

Poet!khun and uni student!bam as a literature major who’s a big fan and wanted to meet khun at one of his signings but is too shy even though shibisu drags him there, accidentally bumps into khun in the bathroom, is all flustered, ends up talking to khun for super long, khun loves bam’s enthusiasm for the subject, offers to give feedback on bam’s poems, bam is literally about to combust, they have lots of meetings and khun flirts with bam who’s clueless but blushes a lot anyway, they kiss *ahem* the rest is history

Spy!khun and bam, khun realizing he doesn’t want to hurt bam, sends fake info back to his country (ruled by eduan and jahad), eduan finds out (sent khun out in the first place bc khun was a threat to him cause the ppl liked khun better), sends out an assassin to get khun, who knows this and escapes with bam somewhere, some complicated plot taht idk how to figure out but you get the drift, eventually khun rules the country with bam

Real estate agent khun and contractor bam, eventually start their own business together

Khun as student pres, also known as the ice king bc he’s turned down dating everyone who asked, bam as the transfer student who catches his attention  (bam with more of a jue viole grace complex), the silent physics genius who is also on par with khun when debating in speech and debate club 

Khun and bam as besties, always do their hw together and hang out after class (cause bam always needs help haha), something leads to them fake dating, eventually real dating 😏

Khun and bam as besties, always do their hw together and hang out after class (cause bam always needs help haha), someone (rachel, DO NOT KILL ME I HAVE A REASON) asks bam out and he doesn't know how to say no (the rest of the gang egging him to date cause they know khuns gonna be jelly) khun goes and sulks, eventually bam gets hurt and manipulated by her, khun is pissed off, rachel is reported for abuse, khun and the gang fight for bam, khun is there for bam all the time, after a while bam asks khun out of the blue if khun likes him (shibisu let it slip that khun is gay bc god knows bam is oblivious af), khun is shocked but says yes bc he cant hide it anymore, bam says he always loved khun but thought khun was straight (bc of some dumb rumor someone said) which was why he ignored his feelings and agreed to date rachel bc he just wanted to distract himself, lots of cuddling thereafter, they get together, rak wins the bet for when khunbam will get together, khunbam gets married

oh man that became way longer than i expected...anon i hope u enjoyed that? half of it prob made 0 sense ngl and idek if i answered the q properly?

kudos to you if you actually read like all my rambling :’)

[oikaw-ugh]

HIIII BABYYY im feelin real soft for my 2d men rn so can i please request some fluffy hcs with them? ;-; you already know who i love LOL SO any one of them will be fine ^^ OR IF YOU WANNA MATCH ME UP WITH SOMEONE ELSE IM DOWN TOO HEHEHE gorl i just need some soft shtuff with one of mi bois dfhdhdhd idek whether this falls under match ups or requests LOL IF ITS TOO TROUBLESOME DONT DO IT KJFSKFSK but ty for everything bb i love you <333

HALLO SOPHHH I'M SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONGGGG I hope u forgive me 😌

I ship you with...

M e ✨

Kidding. I ship you withhh

Kenma Kozume (´ε｀ )

Mainly because he's as reserved as Akaashi? Was supposed to stick with Akaashi but figured Kenma sounds more fitting for me now!

Also, college!AU

Hmmmm

You met because of Kuroo. Or Lev. Yup. Definitely either of the two.

Most probably you are groupmates with the giants? And You just click with them?

ESPECIALLY LEVVVV! I feel like you two would immediately click! The energy you two have? Yes.

Anyways! Kuroo and Lev are so fond of you they just ✨ can't ✨ stop ✨ their ✨mouth ✨ from shutting up.

THIS IS WHERE KENMA GOES IN!

Kenma: Who is this Sophia?

And like, Kuroo and Lev just have A LOT of things to say it wears Kenma out LOL

Kenma: Whatever. I'm not interested.

Also Kenma: Did you say she likes anime?

I mean, let's be honest MOST of the time, gamer otakus are anime otakus, too, so 👀

A W K W A R D FRIENDS

When Kenma finally decided to go with you trio's hangout, you got so nervous.

Soph: Do I really have to meet this Kenma?

Kuroo: Don't worry. He's a good guy.

Soph: That's not helping!

Lev: You got us, Sophia-chan!

Soph: yoU'RE THE ONES WHO PLANNED THIS-

ANYWAY! You got no choice. In the end you meet Kenma, and was surprisingly disappointed with how silent he was.

Kuroo: Kenma, this is Sophia. The girl we've been talking about.

You: 👁️👄👁️ Hɪ

Kenma: 👀 ᴴᶦ

That's it.

Kidding! Lev were probably too carefree to notice how awkward you two are.

Kuroo would notice tho but he chose to give you two privacy by pulling Lev somewhere else, leaving you two alone

wHICH IS NOT HELPING! ALEXA IS LITERALLY PLAYING CRICKET SOUNDS ON YOU TWO

You're awkwardly silent, accompanying the other. You know, checking your screen, acting as if you're busy talking to someone when you're actually not-

Kenma: Is that BNHA?

👁️👄👁️

You stare at Kenma, your eyes wide and a grin on your face.

You: YOU WATCH THIS TOO?!

Kenma and Sophia knew at that day, a friendship is born ✨

Kenma is pretty lowkey.

So when he realized that he likes you, he's like "Okay. Cool."

But Kuroo, the kind man that he is, disagrees with this so he devices: a plan >=]]]]

It's not as grand as it sounds. It's literally just him and Lev letting the two of you be alone most of the time. Kenma hates it though.

Mainly because I think he has no intention of telling you? And is highkey contented with just watching you from afar?

The previous bullet is btw based on my fic of him right here

Don't get me wrong, he's not nervous or afraid of your reaction. He just wants to be by your side be it only as a friend.

Kuroo just scoffs whenever Kenma told him that. He calls rubbish.

Kuroo: Let's see if you can settle with only that the moment Soph meets someone else.

And as if you're living the Y/N life, LOLLLLL SOMEONE ACTUALLY SHOWED INTEREST ON YOU OUT OF THE BLUE.

Which upsets Kenma. He thought he was cool with it, I guess he isn't.

And remember how he was just chill with his feelings for you?

WELLLLL GUESS WHATTTT! HE'S NOW SO ANXIOUS. He couldn't stop thinking of the thought that you're dating and he's actually reconsidering the thought of confessing?

Which he would immediately brush away as it would make him feel flustered.

But in the end, I see Kenma confessing out of the blue, most probably in a situation where he thinks would raise his chances on you.

You when Kenma suddenly stopped walking beside you: Kenma?

Kenma: Soph, I like you.

I know for a fact that you're lowkey introverted BB

BUT I THINK KENMA SOMEHOW UNLEASHES THE EXTROVERTEDNESS IN YOU

Like, you love cuddles, laughing, expressing yourself so much whenever you are with Kenma.

It's like he's a safe place for you to show who you are, you know?

And Kenma would just stare at you with a tiny grin, happy that you're happy as well.

Sleepovers are a thing! When you ask him to come over, there's a 50% chance that you need his help bc exams are coming/your homework is so ugly your brain cannot seem to answer it.

When it's at his place, usually because he's with Kuroo or because he just...wanna see you.

Like??? Do you need a reason to see your girlfriend?

He's a small time YouTuber, too!

Though they haven't seen you yet bc Kenma blocks your face. He always told you it was for your privacy but hmmmm

And his fans love you!

You: it's probably because you don't want them to take me away from you (a joke)

Kenma: *stares at you for 10 seconds before resuming to what he's doing*

You: 👁️👄👁️ Wait, it's true?

Dates are mostly in archades.

Like, you just love games so much? ,

THAT ORRRR you just wanna flaunt your gamer boyfriend HSJSJSJSJSJ

Matching outfits are a thing, too! I think you two plan your outfits before going on your dates.

Awwww imagine like, you two wearing Korean clothes aesthetics? :"))))

As for food, you are ADVENTUROUS! You've always told Kenma about different cuisines that you would like to try someday.

And that someday is AT THE MOMENT Kenma looks for local stores who sell food from the cuisines you just mentioned.

Road trips are a thing, too! I can see Kenma steering the wheel with an exhausted face (bc he's lazy) while you sat beside him singing along the radio.

Or if you both don't have a vehicle or smthng. I see you two planning to go to random places together!

Kenma lowkey doesn't want to, tbh. Packing, hiking, and all are a hassle. But how could he resist you?

Fights? Hmmmm I say rare

Because I think you're a very very understanding person.

While Kenma doesn't react in a rush? He calculates and analyzes the situation.

Like??? Have you seen him??? At court???

But I think fights happen because Kenma can be very unresponsive sometimes?

You just want him to be a little more this, a little more that.

But he's like, "Okay." But never does it anyway.

When in a fight, you try to prove your point but his lack of interest and response irritates you more.

So fights are silent! Kenma is a silent person from the start but somehow...his silence during fights are...dark?

Like, one glance, Kuroo can sense that you two had a fight.

Lev wouldn't though lmao that small bean.

You try to act normal though! But when you need to talk to Kenma, you immediately switch to 😶

HAHAHAHAHA cutie

You two make Kuroo's bed hair get fixed :v

But anyhow! I see a lot of Kuroo intervention whenever you two fight. Like, he'd purposely ask the group to go somewhere and stuff and u both agree just because.

I mean...admit it, life without each other sucks 🥺 so both of you lowkey agrees with Kuroo because u both know he's purposely doing this to let you two make up.

I see like, you two just...slowly...reaching out for each other HAHAHAHA

Like

Kenma: *lets his hand slip to yours*

You: *hold on his hand, too*

Then you both look at each other and before you knew it, you two are okay again!

I HOPE YOU LIKE IT, SOPHHHH HEHEHEHEH

[timelysan]

tagged by: @roses09020617​

RULES : ANSWER THIS FOR UR ULT GROUP AND TAG TEN PPL

note: ATEEZ !!

Who was your first bias?:

It was seunghwa i think but like the first member who caught my eye was hongjoong hehe. but like it was seunghwa and long story short in the bad bitch peurto rican vid half way through i mixed up san and seunghwa and then san stole me away so cheesy

Who is your bias now?:

san and all of them tho lol they are all the lomls

What was the first mv you watched by them?:

i guess from? that was technically the first mv.

What’s your favourite mv?:

this is hard. this is real hard. i’ve never thought about it tbh. i would have to say either the aurora jap vers or wonderland probably. actually maybe say my name oh my gosh.

If you could listen to one of their songs for the rest of your life, which would it be?”

sunrise but possibly take me home bc that one has consumed my life but its still kinda too soon yk? who am i kidding it probably is take me home 

Who would you want to see them collab with?:

wayv hands down- the SHEER power they would hold oh my god. but also that’s probably too far fetched so stray kids or sf9! again the power oh my gosh. 

What mv concept do you want to see them do?:

i want to see like a gruesomely dark concept plzzzz. like cross gene black or white dark or just anything like psychotically dark. or just one of them as the psycho murderer in a drama yes plz

Have you ever had a dream with any of the members in it?:

yeah but its rare. most of my dreams have people i dont like actually know. but i remember there were a few instances but i could never recall the dream

If you could spend the day with one member, who would it be and what would you do?:

this is again super hard. my brain says san just cause he makes me feel comfortable and safe and all the fuzzy feelings but also maybe yeosang? like he would be nice and respectful but also like equally as awkward myself? does that even make sense

Which member do you think you’d get along with the best?:

I think san and i would get along great ngl. we are like the same person as it is so like we would probably click pretty quick. cat lovers unite! 

Which member do you think you would argue with?:

i literally would not fight them ever. like i will just leave and go cry. but i think the one who might get pissed off at me before the rest would be wooyoung? idk i just feel like he would be like wtf lex?? and then get mad for smth idek 

If you had to let one member scroll through your tumblr, who would it be?:

hmm i mean if they had to go through my likes that’s the scary part. maybe hongjoong? just bc he is super supportive and can put like his thoughts and feelings aside for a sec and hear you out and yeah that’s all i will say haha

tagging: anyone bc rose is my only friend here anymore sooooo oops

[why-this-kolaveri-machi]

what more can you do?

WOO! this week’s episode was sad and weird and badly paced and startlingly, unevenly mature in true titans fashion. i loved it (with reservations)! let’s talk about it in excruciating detail:

SPOILERS ahead.

1. i can’t say that i’m awfully thrilled about the show following up on a character’s literal suicide attempt by... not addressing said suicide attempt at all. maybe it’s the awkward way an entire episode’s worth of flashback was shoehorned in between the end of 2.07--where dick literally talked jason off the ledge while in the throes of a psychotic break of his own--and the beginning of this one, but it’s honestly not just bad storytelling, but irresponsible storytelling. 

1.5. in a general sense, tho, the tableau at the beginning of the episode is so egregiously unfair--so shockingly, plainly one-sided, with a slump shouldered dick facing the world, only kory on his side, that it’s quite apparent that it’s the lowest these heroes can go. and i do think their individual reactions to dick’s confession provide an interesting insight into their characters. hank and dawn have been operating alone for so long, each a reminder of their traumas and losses and very human frailty to the other, without even the resources that dick and the batman enjoy. it’s been them v the world for so goddamn long; is it any wonder that they were looking for the first excuse to bail out of there, to not Deal with the idea that what they were doing to deal with their traumas and guilt was clearly not working, and dick was--and has been always--so willing to be the scapegoat? hank punching dick was utterly unwarranted--but i can accept that as part of the unaddressed emotional outbursts arising out of years of accumulated head injuries from both college football and vigilantism. (this isn’t to excuse what he did but to contextualise it within hank’s history and personality.) their instinct when facing ugly truths is to retreat to what they think is familiar and what they need--except, as hank realises later in the episode, that’s exactly what’s fucking them up further.

rose is understandably upset at being lied to about her brother’s death and the titans being complicit in the same--but i’m curious that her reaction was to merely leave and not try and fight them. maybe after being defeated by dick while sparring and nearly being killed by rachel she was sensible enough to realise that she couldn’t take them on all at once? i don’t know--she’s curiously been a bit of a cipher this season. jason leaving with her made sense tho--unburdened of the weight of being the team’s scapegoat, understandably miffed at dick for keeping a secret that nearly cost him his life and left him with a great deal of trauma, just Angry at the world in general, he gravitates towards rose, the only other outsider/rebel who tried to reach out to him when everybody else shunned him or looked at him like an impostor. i think the decision was more impulsive than anything--they still look confused and uncertain in the taxi as they leave the tower behind. but--i don’t know. theirs is the storyline that i’m the most perplexed about. we just don’t have a lot of information about either of them, rose especially. 

(a part of me still thinks she’s slade’s mole in the tower. but why would she leave if she is? to keep up appearances bc to react in any other way to the news of her brother’s death would be suspicious? maybe she left because her job is done and the titans were splitting up? maybe she was part of the long game to seduce jason over to slade’s side--seeking revenge for dick swaying jericho over to the titans’? am i going to stop asking myself questions in this post? am i ever going to write a review that’s not just stream-of-consciousness nonsense? only time will tell.)

DONNA. oh, donna. her decision to leave seems to me a logical continuation of her s2 arc that i’d talked about in a previous review--paranoid, insecure, retraumatised, and taking out her frustrations on jason and dick. it’s also very interesting to me that she complained to rachel about dick treating them like “soldiers” and only told them things that he deemed that they “need[ed] to know.”  it was because of jillian and whatever mysterious business that themyscira was conducting in sf that she and garth and slade ever landed up in that airport at all; even worse, jillian deemed it was something that donna didn’t need to know until it was too late. donna lost so much in that fiasco--the man she loved, her friends, several members of her amazon family, and her sense of purpose, her belief in her strength and her destiny and her faith that other people trusted her as a warrior and as a leader. she’s projecting all that pain onto dick--who again, doesn’t deserve all this shit but takes it anyway because of his own issues.

1.8. and, like. as much as jericho’s death became the Traumatic Event that overshadowed almost everything else in dick’s life for the last five years and helps explain a lot of his hang-ups right from s1, it just doesn’t have the same significance for the others. don’t get me wrong--i’m sure hank, donna and dawn are devastated and guilty about the part that they had to play in manipulating jericho and his eventual death. but their issues with each other, with the titans tower and with their past run deeper and in different directions, and i think all of that came into play when they each decided to go their separate ways.

1.95. idek what the fuck is going on with rachel. i felt every ounce of dick’s heartbreak and devastation when she got up to leave with donna. for all that she saved dick in the first episode of this season, she still hasn’t reached the point where she’s willing to unburden her emotions and issues on him. it must be frustrating and sad for her to realise just how much dick didn’t trust her either. but there’s something else going on as well: maybe she’s realised she has no real control over her re-emerging powers, and, carrying on with the fatalistic attitude she had at the end of 2.05, she wants to spare the titans the chaos and darkness that she carries around with her. (she’s used to running away at this point, after all.) she goes with donna bc donna knows her the least: it would therefore be easy to fool her and escape. 

2. more faddei! and kory backstory! \o/ 

it’s curious that they never once bring up trigon, because s1 gave the impression that she’d come to earth with a specific mission to seek his portal out and destroy it before he could, y’know, Fuck The Universe Up. faddei makes it sound like kory just went on this fun little sabbatical before taking up royal duties, which kiiinda undercuts a lot of what was cool about her s1 arc. i realise you aren’t entirely happy with your freshman season, titans, and s2 looks like it might be a soft reboot, but you don’t have to mutilate it like this!

but seriously. the stakes just got upped exponentially for kory, and it would be really interesting to see where she goes from here. apart from a promise to rachel, she doesn’t really owe the rest of the titans anything--not that i think she views relationships in such transactional terms, of course. on the other hand, abandoning her responsibilities on tamaran has led to its takeover by an unfit leader and the deaths of several of her family and friends. the choice shouldn’t be a choice at all. she should go back home. and yet--she waited too long, and the choice has been taken away from her. faddei is dead, both of their ships are destroyed, and she is stuck on earth, grieving and frustrated and furious. kory is usually very clear headed about exactly where she stands emotionally, but after such a big event, she must be feeling so much pain, guilt, sorrow, anger, even resentment. it’s so easy to look at kory’s level-headedness and open, empathetic personality and use her to prop up other characters, but i hope that this isn’t always the case, and that she’ll be allowed to really work through these emotions while somebody else looks out for her. 

2.35. (the little snippets of faddei and kory just enjoying the shit out of the Little Things that humanity has to offer is just... it filled me with so much warmth. i wouldn’t mind an entire episode of them just chilling and exploring and annoying each other with badly-applied out-of-context pop culture references)

2.5. blackfire! i don’t know much about comics!blackfire beyond “she was starfire’s sister, Evil, and possibly sold her sister into slavery??? yikes” so i’m just going purely off what the show has revealed about her so far. it was honestly disconcerting to see so many references to her possible disability (?) and to see both that and the efforts to accommodate her spoken about in... i want to say mocking way? i don’t know. i just saw a murder mystery/thriller movie today where the serial killer was revealed to have been both disabled from birth and mentally ill, and maybe i’m just feeling extra sensitive to the truly disturbing and pervasive trope of having disabled characters be Evil--and tying their Evil to their disability. 

2.8. anyhow, blackfire appears to have accumulated a fair bit of power in the time that kory’s been gone: not only can she remotely possess other tamaraneans but she can blow up their ships too. (and didn’t faddei say that she had goons on the ground, looking for starfire?)

2.9. it’s a Lot to deal with this late in the season. maybe kory will leave for tamaran to deal with blackfire once and for all at the end of the season. and if titans ends up cancelled, wouldn’t that be a bittersweet ending.

(wherein ‘bittersweet’ translates to ‘devastating’ ofc)

3. oh where do i even start with dick

his worst fears came true. after his confession, not only did his old friends up and leave, but so did rachel and jason, which he found more heartbreaking than anything else. utterly consumed by guilt and convinced more than ever before of his culpability, he actively seeks out ways to self-flagellate, first by going to adeline to apologise, then by banishing himself, then by making sure he is punished (tho i have my doubts on that last one; will elaborate a little later). after watching him have an extended psychotic break and dash into not one but two suicide missions, watching dick grayson do this to himself feels like watching an extended feature on human suffering. it’s not fun, or pretty, and i can feel it reaching its nadir so that dick can bounce back up again, but i hope it happens soon.

(dick’s natural tendency to internalise guilt and responsibility into a hard little diamond core at his centre and his long training with batman with all the emphasis on secrets and subterfuge with a healthy underpinning of paranoia ironically means that he does so much goddamn emotional labour for this team. he’s the glue that keeps them together, that gives them purpose. he’s trying so hard to do good by everybody that he isn’t really able to achieve it with any of them, which leads to another self-flagellating spiral and him determining to try harder and the cycle just keeps going on. only kory seems to have ever broken this cycle, because she’s never demanded anything of him, nor he of her. it’s really sad to think how bereft dick feels right now, and more than that, how it’s stopping him from being there for the people who really do need him and trust him, like gar and rachel.)

3.25. adeline makes a very good point about how merely apologising doesn’t mean you’re owed forgiveness, and that seeking it out after all these years is a self-serving exercise in itself. but i can see dick taking it hard, especially after discovering that she’s letting slade--the man who actually killed her son--recuperate at her home. (and let’s be clear: however good her intentions, she participated in lying to her child about the truth of what his father actually does. wow, jericho was really just fucked over by pretty much every one he loved, wasn’t he?)

but i am glad to see dick isn’t so far gone that he takes the blame for jericho’s death in front of slade. he’s very aware that slade has permanently broken the team and very aware of the threat slade poses if they ever try to get back together again, but he’s not going to completely surrender every last shred of his self-worth and dignity to this man, and that was refreshing to see.

3.5. so he banishes himself to the farthest place he can think of with nothing more than the shirt on his back and a single duffel bag. it’s so over-the-top yet so... dick grayson.

3.8. BUT WAIT! ~PLOT TWIST~

ok so here’s what’s happening, all right? strap in:

a) jericho is one hundred percent inside slade. i have no doubts about this. adeline knows this too. it’s why she was so even-keeled while talking to dick, why she confidently said that jericho loved dick, and why she said “they” might be willing to forgive him. i’m thinking when slade crawled back home, jericho took advantage of his father’s momentary weakness to tell what was happening to his mother. 

b) jericho tried to communicate to dick. i saw something somewhere which said that slade had gestured something very specific in asl while conversing with dick? i’m willing to believe that was intentional.

c) when dick was turning to leave and slade called him one last time and gave his “banishment sentence” jericho likely jumped bodies from slade to dick

d) so why did dick get himself arrested at the airport?

- dick was going through, as others have speculated, a dissociative episode. given how he’s exhibited signs of mental illness throughout this season this isn’t that far out of the realm of possibility, but it’s a weak and redundant narrative bridge and wasn’t shot in a way that suggested that it was a mental break. so i’m ruling this out.

- jericho took over. maybe he felt that this was the only way he could force dick to stay in sf. maybe some of his father’s anger/resentment leeched into him and he wanted to dick to experience some actual punishment instead of scarpering again. maybe he was overwhelmed by dick’s own self-flagellating tendencies and chose the shortest route to maximum pain. maybe it’s a combination of all three.

- dick finally got his brain into gear and realised at the last minute that jericho had possessed slade and was trying to tell him something. why he then proceeded to get himself arrested instead of running out of the airport is a mystery.

personally, i’m leaning towards the ‘jericho possessed dick’ possibility.

4. gar is such a sweetheart and i am so glad that he took centrestage this episode, even though, like always, it was to support another character and ended up with him crying and begging for help from an unresponsive dick. *sighs*

4.5. much like dick himself, he’s trying to do good by everybody, only to end up badly misjudging a situation, and all alone. 

5. oof. this has gone on for far too long and i am Tired. more thoughts to come later, because right now my brain is as disorganised as... as disorganised as a titans episode. hah! self-burn!!!

[blurglesmurfklaine]

Answer the prime numbered questions for the writers' ask meme!

Bold of you to assume I remember enough from math class in high school to know which numbers are prime EDIT: THERE ARE A LOT MORE PRIME NUMBERS THAN I THOUGHT THERE WERE (yes I had to google it I am not a Designated Math Gay)

1. Tell us about your WIP!

I’m currently posting Here We Go Again, which is the sequel to There From The Start where Blaine is the 12th member of the OG New Directions in season one! It’s actually a fic I didn’t realize would end up being so close to my heart but like I finished it the other day and big oof I was a sad girl.

2. Where is your favorite place to write?

Since covid? My room lol

3. What is your favorite/least favorite part about writing?

My favorite part is coming up with the emotional scenes which usually just come to me in the form of dialogue! I’m a total slut for drama or the result of emotional buildup

My LEAST fave part is like... coming up with a story that makes fucking *sense* around those bits lmaooooooo

5. Top five formative books?

(I’m gonna include fic in this)

All the other ghosts

LITTLE NUMBERS CHANGED MY LIFE OKAY

The Percy Jackson and the Olympians series

Perfect Chemistry which was just this trashy romance/drama novel (or maybe it wasn’t that trashy and I’ve been conditioned to think romance novels are trashy bc they focus on women) that got passed around in eighth grade and DEFINITELY started my addiction to love stories

Change of Heart by Jodi Picoult. I think this is one of my favorite books of all time. It’s so fucking beautiful and heartbreaking and I think I need to give it a re read tbh

7. Favorite/most inspirational book?

Oof this is so fucking hard. I’m not gonna say change of heart just bc I already used that one, so... Sing You Home also by Jodi Picoult just... fucks me right up man. And it’s gay. AND ITS GAY WITH A HAPPY ENDING. AND ITS NOT FIC CAN U BELIEVE?

11. What are you planning to work on next?

I’m kind of nervous about my next project actually, because it’s not a type of story I’ve ever tackled before and idek how to summarize it without making it seem like it’s about something it’s not??? Idek I know I’m not making sense lmaooooo

Basically, it’s Kurt and Blaine adjusting to life after being reunited after 7 years. I actually finished the first chapter today! It’s going to be called Amidst the Chaos :) I’m very excited but also kind of nervous bc I also don’t have all of it entirely fleshed out but we’ll see what happens!

13. Describe your writing process

Bro. I have no process.

Jk, recently, I’ve been going to my room, turning off my lights, and turning on my instrumental music playlist (Schubert, my dude, you got me through the last few chapters of HWGA) other than that... I guess I make a rough outline and then sort of figure things out as I go???

17. What things (scenes/topics/character types) are you most comfortable writing?

Scenes: I love awkward/uncomfortable/funny situations. They are my CRACK

Topics: characters discussing their family and friends

Character: I could be wrong but I feel like I’m pretty good at writing Finn?

19. How do you cope with writer’s block?

Take a break. Go for a walk. Read something new. Read something old of mine that I liked. Work on one shots that I forgot about like they’re a pallet cleanser. Go back and try to write and nothing comes to me AGAIN. Force my self to take a break for REAL this time. Wash, rinse, repeat.

23. Most anticipated upcoming books?

I don’t think I read enough books anymore to answer this, but some of my friends are working on things that I am very VERY excited to read! (Yes Brit and Adri this is about y’all)

29. Is writing more of a hobby or do you write with the intention of getting published?

100% a hobby. Cheaper than therapy!

37. Do you ever write long handed or do you prefer to type everything?

Sometimes I do write on pen and paper! I feel like your brain works differently when that happens. Some of my best things have come from writing on pen and paper, I think.

41. Are there any books you feel have shaped you as a writer?

This is gonna sound stupid, but I think the Captain Underpants series had a huge impact on me... HEAR ME OUT: I love comedy, I love to laugh, I love to make other people laugh, and those books were some of the first books that had me CACKLING as a child and I was like “OH WORM?” So I make sure to keep most of my stories light with humor!

43. How do you deal with rejection?

Usually I just bitch about it in private with my friends 😂😂 but I like to think I take *constructive* criticism pretty well!

47. Single or dual/multi POV?

I think it really depends on the story, but overall dual/multi. It’s something I still struggle with on some scenes because I’m like I WANT EVERYBODY TO KNOW THIS CHARACTERS EXACT REACTION AND THOUGHTS but like it just ain’t their time to shine 😔

53. What is the first line of your WIP?

AIGHT AIGHT AIGHT

This is from the next chapter of Here We Go Again:

“He hit her in the face?” Kurt’s voice rang from the other end of the line.

This is from my not yet posted WIP, Amidst the Chaos:

Table five—sriracha sauce, he thinks to himself.

And this one is from one I may or may not tackle (but if I do it’s gonna be called Cruel Summer bc I’m s slut for t swizzle):

In the seven years that they’ve known each other, Blaine has never—not once—liked a single boyfriend Sebastian has introduced to their friend group.

THANKS SO MUCH FOR THIS ASK!!! It was super fun :))) 🥰

[sgnyibo]

‘ello! i’m sera, residing in eet aka gmt+2, online during odd hours, fulltime dumb, a disastrous adult–- i haven’t been a part of a tumblr rp in literally ages omg i’m very nervous but also vvvery excited!! anyway, yibo’s about page is here, but i’ve also added some extras and general plot ideas and such under the cut ( aka i rly tried ajdhfbdf ...) and if you’d like to plot, hit that like button! also getting back to everyone's messages soon, slowpoke style :’)))) ♡

he remembers his life in fragments: luoyang, beijing, seoul

had quite an ordinary childhood; mom was strict with his upbringing whilst dad was more like the opposite

gave his parents a lot of worry lines and headaches

adventurous but clumsy kid, dedicated teenager, disastrous young adult

who says cereal isn’t actual food, i just had a bowl for dinner

likes to eat, can’t cook

may look like he’s angry or indifferent most of the time but is actually a cinnamon roll, a little piece of shit

really uncomfortable / awkward in situations he isn’t used to or when he doesn’t know what to do

not a good person to ask serious advice from, really. need to attend a dinner party but don’t want to? fake your death

will definitely fake clueless foreigner to get out of situations

shows affection by good-natured bullying

would call you oppa just to mess with you ( he has no shame )

but actually easily flustered!!! 

uuuuhh–-

plot ideas / connections ( honestly idek.... )

you help him improve his korean and in return he helps you with chinese ( aka yibo being the lil shit that he is, keeps teaching you wrong the first time )

double trouble aka 1/2 of the dumb duo aka a close friend / best friend

customers at the car repair shop he works at

friends / acquaintances / classmates / sports team members etc

people who don’t like him / people he doesn’t like / mutual dislike

prompts, can also be used as a base for plotting and / or connections ( all of these can be altered to fit our muses!! )

‘ i know i keep coming to the cookie shop ( or any shop / cafe!!! ) and for some reason it’s always your shift but don’t you dare judge me i need these for my sanity ‘ 

‘ it’s 3 am and i’m still in the library studying and i’m losing my grip on reality and i think i just saw a ghost ‘

‘ you’re baking cookies in the communal kitchen at 3 am and i’m angry but also really hungry ‘

‘ i thought you were my friend so i slapped your ass in greeting ‘

‘ i fell asleep on your shoulder and you were too polite to move or wake me up ‘

‘ you’re the jerk barista who purposely screws up my name when i order my caffeine fix ‘

‘ we’re always making stupid bets like ‘bet you can’t drink this whole bottle of bbq sauce’ but then you did and now you’re sick and i feel really bad here let me look after you ‘

‘ is there a reason you never say my name? ‘

‘ leave me to die... no! wait! i was just being dramatic please actually help me ‘

' i don't know who you are but we keep running into each other on the street and getting into screaming arguments over the stupidest things and i'm actually looking forward to our next meeting bc you're annoying as hell but gdi you're hot as fuck and its kind of fun to argue with you '

‘ we started going home together but i was convinced i knew a faster way to your apartment / dorms so we took a wrong turn and now we're lost and drunk and a little cold ‘

“i can’t see anything” “hold on I’ll set something on fire” 

am literally up to anything basically, lets just plot aye 

[autistic-reptile]

i told both my parents i thought i might be on the spectrum abt a year after i started suspecting and they both basically shot me down bc (condensed version) im "too normal to be autistic". i relate to nearly every symptom ive ever seen described by girls on the spectrum but i feel like mine arent intense enough-- i have special interests but not all are obsessions, i stim but in pretty small unnoticeable ways, i can force myself to make eye contact even if i don't want to. idek what (1)

before I say anything, just know that none of this is a bother!!! I love getting asks - one of my first thoughts when I figured out that I was autistic was "I bet there actually ARE way more people out there like me and I want to talk to them/help them feel less alone too" so I love it.

I can understand your parents thinking you're "too normal" to be autistic - not because they're right, but because I had a similar outlook on autism before learning about it. I remember a few years ago, someone made a joke about me being autistic (they knew nothing about autism either, they were just using it as a joke/insult in reference to awkward tendencies), and later on that night I ended up briefly looking up the actual symptoms of autism, only to shut myself down IMMEDIETLY, thinking:

"okay, that's relatable, but I'm obviously not autistic. I would've had to have been in special education or something, right? or I wouldn't have any friends at least. I definitely am able to make eye contact, and wtf even is stimming?? sounds like everyone would mention me stimming if I did that, so, yeah. No way I'm autistic."

and that was it lol. probably didn't think about it at all again until I was 22 and saw a youtube video of another grown woman talking about her autism and masking, which was what prompted me to actually look deeper into autism and ultimately lead to my diagnosis.

basically what I'm trying to say here is that very little people have a correct view of what autism looks like, nor can you really define exactly what autism always looks like because its so different for everybody. the best thing you can do is try to educate your parents while you're talking to them about your concerns. show them, as best you can, what autism actually looks like, and then relate it back to your own experiences. when I was talking to my parents about it, they had a similar reaction, until I started actually listing off symptoms of autism while giving examples, saying "remember how I always did ____?" and they were finally like "ohhhhhhhhhh yeah....... hey maybe your brother and sister are autistic too" (and I'm thinking 'yep I saw it in them before I even saw it in myself' lol).

if you're feeling like you relate to all the symptoms but maybe just not as intensely, its always possible that you're not autistic and have something else instead, but its also possible that you've more or less "evolved" to show these symptoms less intensely. even small negative interactions can be enough to teach you that stimming big and being obsessed with things gets you bullied. autistic people still have the desire to fit in and be liked, so a lot of us will supress these things and do our best to camouflage the issue. small stimming and feeling like you aren't as obsessed with special interests as you should be CAN mean you're just stimmy and passionate, or it can mean you ARE autistic and you've just been influenced by your experiences to behave in less autistic ways.

I know for me, I can get embarrased by stimming in certain ways even when I'm alone - that's how ingrained it is that these traits are embarrassing and something I need to hide. it took me a little while to come to the realization that I was unconciously bullying myself. now, obviously this may not always be the case (I don't want anyone to take this to mean 'you can be autistic even without any symptoms!' lol), but sometimes it is the case that you get pushed all your life into presenting as more ""normal"" and then end up doubting that you could ever possibly be autistic. so if you relate that much to the symptoms, its certainly a possibly that should be explored.

[segataryuuichirou]

I gotta say crx was rlly good, except I spent a few hours of it alone (which I am totally fine w btw, I love people watching tbh) but like for some reason, creepy dudes decided to use that as an opportunity to hit on me. Like it happened quite a few times in a matter of 1-2 hours, I was just talking w them, like a normal person, and then they made some snide comment about my costume or something (I wore Bruno so my chest was exposed, but I taped my boobs down? Like even if u did peak in the boob window all you would see would be athletic tape??) And like I would cold shoulder em after a while and some would leave me alone.

But this one dude, asked me for coffee, and I politely declined and told him I had a girlfriend and he went "that's kinda hot tho" and I went from (: to side eyeing so hard my eyes almost rolled out of his skull. I went "whatever" and legit just walked away, but he followed me for a bit?? Then he left luckily. It was so awkward man.

Like, I've been hit on before, but like, I never felt like truly...disrespected?? Like once a dude asked me out and I said "no I'm gay" and he said "oh well you're beautiful, have a nice day" and left??? No problems, nothing he didnt even wait for me to respond.

I know its bc of my cosplay, bc several times guys talked abt my chest (I have no tits btw, idek what they would see). Cosplay is not consent and its not an invitation to talk abt my boobs or fetishize me and my gf my dudes, why dont ppl get that yet.

[ocean-butch]

How is cas different from ur other girlfriends

akcjwjxia i had to wait like SIX HOURS to answer this bc of a goddamn test i had bUT OH BOY ANON AM I GONNA LOVE DOING IT alfjadjsk i just love talking about my gf i love her so much i wanna gush about her 25/8

the short answer would be basically in every way bUt imma do it part by part.

okay so, in a simplified version i’ve had relationships with people whose personalities worked well with me but who were shitty girlfriends or a good girlfriend who just didnt really fit with my personality. i’ve actually given that so much thought even before i met cass, but the point is that i met her and she was just perfect for me in both ways (technically its more complicated bc theres a bunch of logic into this that im not explaining bc my mind is weird and it would be Way too long but anyways). but ok let get into How she fits me perfectly.

first of all literally no one ever in my entire life has made me laugh as easily and genuinely as she does. im not even exaggerating, like laughing was never really A Thing for me to look for in girls bc it just never happened???? like i had fun conversations and stuff but there was never anyone that made me go “holy shit i have never laughed this much with anyone else” and we have So many inside jokes, which is a thing that i almost never have????? and i always used to wish i did bc everyone would talk about it and i’d feel like i just wasnt funny and That was the problem. and also this is really important bc its one of the things that made me realize that i liked (and eventually, came to love) her. bUT its not the only one so theres also like all these things that we like and we can talk about for HOURS like i remember when i watched infinity war and the first thing i did when i got home was call her and we talked about it for like 2 hours idek but it was great. the point is, we have a bunch of shared interests (which isnt like 100% necessary but its still really nice), wHICH LEADS ME TO: her music taste is amazing and i love that so much bc i love music With My Entire Soul and its the best thing in the fucking world (after cass & my friends and tied with the ocean) but yeah thats great too. AND i think more importantly than the last 2 things is that she is literally so fucking easy to talk to. like ever since the beginning we didnt really have that awkward phase where we run out of things to talk about and the conversation keeps dying like we never had that it just flowed so well and that was such a good feeling. another thing is also how comfortable i feel talking to her.

like i have never felt this way with any of my girlfriends bc i was always scared that i was gonna be annoying or say something Wrong and they’d start to realize i sucked and then break up with me, but shes just so kind and idk she just has this way about her that makes me feel at home and its always been there like i dont believe in love at first sight or anything like that but i swear to god the day after i met her i already felt like i could tell her anything and that was such a comforting thing and i needed that so badly at the time. i dont feel like i was able to describe this aspect very well tbh like im not doing it justice. like, she makes me feel like im not annoying at all, and like i could just randomly start ranting about anything and she would be like super invested in it, and just literally so comfortable in every sense of the word. she is my home, no ifs ands or buts, i just feel it every single time that we talk or that i simply think about her, and i have never felt this so clearly with anyone. and i think this comfort i feel with her is kinda connected with how she has always made me felt so appreciated, in a way that no one has ever done. like, i had like 2 tags about my wants and needs in a relationship, there was “my dream girl” to remind me that i shouldnt settle for anyone after i got out of a rlly bad relationship, and there was “things i wish someone would tell me” after my “first” relationship (i dont really count it bc Officially™ we only dated for a week) because my gf at the time would almost never be affectionate with me and it made me really insecure so i started that tag as a way to vent kinda. anyways my point is that i made those tags bc i would always feel super anxious in my relationships bc i never really felt loved or even wanted (aka the good personalities awful gfs relationships) i just felt like a burden and it was such a big thing for me.

okay now i’ll say that there Kinda was an exception to this before cass, because it would be unfair to say that that relationship was detrimental to my mental health, but it was still different. like, that ex did make me feel wanted most times, but not only did i still have A Lot of insecurities about the whole thing bc of some things she would say and do or not say and not do and i’d get like super uncomfortable or just sad really but also bc whenever the conversation would start to die out i was Absolutely Certain that she was gonna break up with me. it was pretty bad im not even joking. and like ofc my anxiety isnt her fault OR responsibility and like sure i still get anxious about cass sometimes but its not like that its basically just when she doesnt answer for a long time i think that something bad might have happened but even when my rude ass brain does try to tell me that she doesnt love me i KNOW that its not true, and that is a kind of peace that i have never ever had before. but anyways, so that was the good gf whose personality didnt fit mine and its weird now bc that is so obvious but i really didnt wanna believe it at the time even though i knew it wasnt gonna work out, but now its just really weird ngl (but i wont get into the why).

and now cass. wow okay let me tell you about cass. she is perfection. she is literally everything i have ever wanted AND things i didnt even know i wanted. she is everything no one else ever was and i just remembered that when we started dating in may i said that exact same sentence to abby. its just so true, she really is everything that no one else could be. because theyre not her. i’ve said this a lot of times but i really dont see how i could ever love anyone else after loving her, it just doesnt make sense to me because she really is like,, as good as it gets. there is no one better than her for me. we’re literally meant to be i s2g like when we broke up for a while i would tell everyone i wasnt really trying to move on at all bc i just hoped she would come back to me and i couldnt miss that chance. i knew she was my soulmate, although at some points i lost almost all hope (but never all) and i started thinking that maybe she was the love of my life but i wasnt the love of hers. and thats bc she really is everything ive ever dreamed of like she has all these little things that she does or say that sometimes wouldnt even mean anything to other people but to me they are So important bc theyre things ive dreamed about while my ex girlfriends ignored me akcjsjxn like, i was talking about how comfortable she feels to me and a big part of that comes from little things like the fact that even when we were just friends she would spam me when i was gone for a long time and that not only made me feel missed and appreciated but also it meant i could do that to her and it wouldnt be annoying bc she felt the same!! like, she missed me too! and me knowing that she actually Wanted to talk to me and the fact that she actually showed me she cared was super great when we started dating bc it made me feel like if i was feeling sad or insecure, i could literally just ask her to be a little more affectionate and it wouldnt feel fake bc i actually knew she cared. and you have No idea how much that meant to me bc i literally didnt know it was possible for me to feel that way. like honestly i thought it was an innate aspect of who i am that like if i asked for affection it would be meaningless? bc i’d be lowkey forcing the person to say something? but with her it felt different bc we had enough intimacy for me to feel comfortable enough to do that.

HOWEVER i never actually Had to do that bc i got insecure exactly once (1) on the first night we started dating back in may bc i didnt know how much she liked me and i was like in love with her so i thought she would think i was too much and then i told her i was sad and that i was gonna sleep and the next day when i woke up she said something along the lines of “how are you babe bc i remember you said you were sad last night and i couldnt stop thinking about it bc i want you to feel good all the time” and thats something so small but wow it just meant so much to me bc i would cry and beg any fucking force in the universe to make my last ex do Anything At All to try to make me Not Sad and it would be awful and i would feel so so unloved and then cass just said that and something clicked in me and i never doubted her feelings to an actual Meaningful extent while we’ve been together anymore (like ofc i get insecure sometimes and especially when we broke up, but while we have been dating ive never gotten like actually Sad™ specifically bc i wasnt sure she liked me) but it gets even better because some of the things she does are so so special that i never even imagined them like shes literally unreal, i literally never thought someone like her existed and its just so wild to me that i get to be with her.

and i know im saying a bunch of cliches but i mean it all so much like i remember when i was dating one of my exes i was learning her first language but she didnt try to learn mine and i really wished she would bc i just always loved the idea that someone would do that for me?? (and she was like the good gf so yknow,, just how that relationship literally did Not even compare to cass) and guess what yes cass is learning portuguese and its the cutest thing ever btw bUt the point is she does all the little things ive ever wanted in a partner (i literally have a post with a list of things i appreciate in a partner and she does all of them!! well, the ones that arent like irl or smth) also i literally have a draft in this blog that is a list of cute things cass has done/said that means a lot to me personally but i didnt post it yet ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ and like theres just so so many things that i havent talked about, like how im not even sure if i was ever in love with anyone of them anymore because what i feel for cass is just so different and so much more, or like how cass actually makes me want to try to get better, which ive never actually wanted before bc it always seemed to scary, like she literally makes me wanna be not only alive but also happy bc she makes me feel like i deserve it. she has been such a good influence on me and my mental health and thats so important and its the first time someone has been this good for me.

but anyways the point is that cass is right for me in every single way like she really is my other half she literally just is everything that she is and thats how shes different from my ex girlfriends.