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#bc its sort of already there but like i cant tell how much is me reading into things
needylittlegirl · 7 days
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i really cant do anything ever i was just making my bed and i got lost in thought so now im crying
#just bc i have a fever again and my emotions always skyrocket but#just thinkin about how ready i was for college everything was going perfectly i had good scholarships n i was so excited :(#and then i had to get sick and have stupid doctors tell me i should hold off#and i know they were right cause i wouldve been too sick to do anything i wouldve had to drop out#but i was One summer away from doing what i had wanted to do since i could read#and in the couple years it took me to start to get my health back under control#everyone had told me those dreams were silly anyways and werent going to get me anywhere#got so much praise for getting the job i have and following its parh instead of doing what i wanted bc it was Unrealistic.#i watch a lot of people that have made a living out of it and have made a difference and i just cant help but get so jealous#i had a dream about it the other night and i woke up and cried my little eyes out!!!#it was such a bland and like realistic normal day dream but i was Doing what i wanted to do#its not fair why did I have to get sick why did everyone have to convince me to not do it once i got better#i feel like its always going to upset me til the day i die im never going to be able to accept that it just wasnt in the cards for me#and i feel like im never 1000% happy with my life ever and its because im not doing what i wanted#maybe its stupid and like naive of me#every kid like wants to grow up and be a fireman or something that they dont end up doing#so maybe im just dumb for not knowing how to let go of mine like i shouldve outgrown them#i just have such a vivid memory of me offhandedly asking my doctor if all the bloodwork n tests n stuff would come back before my first day#and he just waited for a minute before saying i should wait a semester or two#and then that turned into a year#and so on#and hes like a very rational doctor he has helped me so much dont get me wrong#but i just started crying right there infront of him#and i am Not ever one to cry in front of anyone#and i think i kind of knew#like everyone had already been telling me id just end up switching majors and all sorts of stuff#so i was already like fighting for things to go my way#i think i knew right then that it was just never in the cards for me#idk ill just have to keep sucking it up and dealing w it til im over it#tbd
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beelzzzebub · 4 days
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i was just sitting in the kitchen eating breakfast, having greek yogurt with grape nuts - which i thought was perfectly normal - and my mom cam in and with complete sincerity told me that i needed to have some fruit with it because otherwise i was basically eating plain sugar. am i going insane here
#boink#i went grocery shopping for her the other day and apparently i got the wrong yogurt bc it has too much sugar and fat in it#idk#anyway she got mad at me for eating yogurt the other day too#i had had one spoon of it after stirring it up out of the fridge#and she got all prickly and asked if i ever check the serving size on food#and that i should pay attention to how much i was eating and put it in a bowl instead of eating it out of the container#which i was notable not doing#anyway#she also got upset when she noticed it was the wrong kind and said that i needed to be careful eating it because it's basically candy#and THEN when i got upset abt this she said not to get mad at her for caring#which#ok#but i just#god#i dont know#im the fattest person in my family#when i was a kid one of the traits that i sort of adopted bc people said it abt me was that i was 'always hungry'#even though that wasnt true#that im not picky and ill eat anything which /again/ is not true#and now that im older i can just tell. that people look at me and think i'm gluttonous. like it's a sin right#and i know especially with my family that that's what theyre thinking about me#i already have so much guilt about wanting things and enjoying things#like this year at school i feel like i was doing so well with that kind of thing#and i gained weight of course i did of course#and thats shitty and whatever the fuck but also i didnt hate myself for it a lot of the time?#and now im back in my house and its just like. i dont know#i need to work through things one step at a time#and i just cant#i mean not with everyone watching
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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years
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I watched like 38 episodes of hunter x hunter in like thes last day or 2 and I think it melted my brain
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crestapex · 6 months
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Yesss we love a foodie simon!
Mans will tear up some fried rice and then fuck up some rotisserie chickens 2 min later. Yall stupid if u think u can leave 2 big plates unattended with him. 3 slurps and its gone.
If hes dating and u cant finish ur food he gladly finish it for u. Gets lowkey offended when i pull the plate back and tell him u just ate off that plate/fork. Like wtf u mean i cant eat off ur plate/fork it doesnt matter bc I kiss u anyways SO LET ME FUCKIN EAT😫
Hes the type to eat from the pot/pan. Like as soon as u tell him the food is ready hes already digging in the pressure cooker with a spoon.💀
Yeah-no, ‘cause he’s definitely the type to look at you all confused when you don’t just give him your plate and instead try to shove your uneaten food on to his. He’s quirking his brow, looking at you like, ‘Hello? My tongue has literally been inside you.’ 🤨 And he just gently takes your plate and fork out of your hands while staring at you, nodding in disapproval.
Update: sort of part two.
And “3 slurps and it’s gone” PLEASE, I’M DONE. Also, I just couldn’t stop myself from writing a (semi) little blurb. 🤭 Now introducing big boy helping you cook!
You stand at the stove, wooden spoon in one hand, and switching from spice to spice with the other. Your eyes stay focused on the silver pot below, nearly filled to the brim with hot, simmering soup. It’s one of your own recipes, fresh and homemade from start to finish. The savory smell fills the kitchen, and having certainly flooded into the other rooms of your shared flat. As it appears you’re not the only one who favors this recipe, someone else clearly does as well.
You try your best not to acknowledge the beast of a man looming over you too much, instead letting him quietly watch as you work your magic. Simon’s hand rests on the counter beside the stove, his other hand opting to rest knuckle-first on his hip. Sure, he mostly chooses to remain silent, but he has no problem reaching for and handing you a utensil or spice—often times before you can, and even before you can ask him to do so.
Every now and again you’ll find yourself having to step away for a minute, and a minute is all he needs. All the time he needs to inch over to your spot and take a hold of the wooden spoon, gently stirring the soup. All the time he needs to lift the spoon and bring it to his lips, slurping up the smallest amount it could possibly take to drench his taste buds, no matter how steaming hot it is. And all the time he needs to lower the spoon back into the pot and swiftly move back into position, just as you begin to turn around and make your way back over to the stove.
And you pretend you don’t notice, you like to pretend you didn’t just catch Simon from out the corner of your eye sneak a bit into his system. Though you can’t help but silently laugh to yourself as he lightly pushes a spice in your direction with his thumb, his own, kind way of telling you it needs just a little bit more!
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mikalame · 10 months
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hi, I was wondering if you could write some Bill x reader angst please, where Bill gets jealous bc of the reader's "fan service" towards fanboys ( for example she flirts with them (as a joke ofc), winks at them on stage...) and one day they just have a big fight bc of that, also the reader is a girl and a member of the band. Bye ;)
This is My first angst, i dont think ill make a Pt2 to this as i kinda like were i finished it tell me what you think about it mabey ill do more angst who knows 🤫
Bills a little toxic in this, but they arent really good for eachother, just pretend the band wont break up or anything ahaha.
taglist@oppopotamus@adissonsss@violentnewmarley@saumspam
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"Did you really have to wink at them again" Bill scoffs as he chucks his bag down on the floor walking into the hotel room.
You guys were bombarded when you got off the plane, which is to be expected as a rock star with a world wide fan base, having fans in every country in itself is good but not when your fans are a bit touchy and you have a bit of a playful personality.....expectantly when your boyfriend is a tad bit of a jealous person.
"Really Bill we just got here and you're already picking a fight, can't we just relax after a 13 hour flight, huh?" you question, getting sick of bills arguments you try and assure him that hes all you need but he cant seem to get it in his head, making you feel like your practically cheating on him when you arent your just being friendly, at least in your mind you are.
"Well you seem pretty energetic when that guy came up and hugged you, real tight" Bill looked away, his eyebrows pinched thinking over the airport insident.
"Bill really, i was JUST hugging him like i dont everybody, he wasnt special hes just a fan, a NICE fan who asked for a hug" You retort rolling your eyes, shoving your suit case under the bed not bothering to pack it away yet.
"Whats wrong Bill, huh, you seem so uptight about this whole thing, do you still think im gonna leave you, Bill, im YOUR girlfriend not anybody else and you may think that i would but i wont and i never will" You argue, completely over Bill and his jealousy.
"No because i know you would all the flirting you do when fans come up to you in party's you grab their arms and laugh at all their jokes, their not even funny half the time but you still laugh like its the funniest thing in the world, you BARELY EVER laugh at my jokes huh, am i not funny or something"
Bill continues to rant letting all of it off his chest, you felt your anger rise getting annoyed that bills painting you as some sort of villain that would cheat on him any chance she got.
"Yeah Bill i laught at their jokes because its NICE-"
"So is it a chore or something to laugh at my jokes" He cuts you off rolling his eyes walking over to the couch sitting down with a huff.
"No Bill and you know thats not true, its different, we're their IDOLS they look up to us, we're CELERITYS, im gonna laugh at whatever stupid joke they make to make THEM happy, to make THEM feel great that they made THEIR IDOL smile and laugh, its not that i dont find you funny bill because u dont your a funny person its just i dont see you or anyone in the band as a celebrity i just see you guys as normal people-".
"Oh so im not even named your boyfriend anymore im just a 'normal person' that babe feel REAL nice right now" He scoffs again flicking through the channels on the t.v.
"OMG BILL YOUR BEING SO DIFFICULT RIGHT NOW" you yell, frustrated about how hes acting right now, he does this all the time bringing this argument up again then leaving the argument when you starts to become frustrated.
"I cant do this bill" You sigh slumping down onto the hotel bed, Bill looks over raising his eyebrow he had never heard you give up in an argument your always fighting to prove that your right.
but as both of your emotions are high right now one of you are bound to say something your gonna regret, just like bill did.
"Oh yeah what to much for you?, you just gonna give up on this realtionship, not even gonna try and fix it, just gonna up and leave" he scoffs standing up, looking at you down his nose not thinking your actully going to do what he thought you would.....
but you did
"Bill were not good for each other, your to jealous and cant handle that im maybe am a bit to sweet to our fans but i cant help it a-and i know you cant handle it either, s-so i think this is where this relationship should end- this is for the best for both of us i think... and for the band you know" you say shakily standing up walking slowly to your bed that has the suitcase under it.
"W-wait baby y-your joking right, i didn't mean it, i'll get over it I SWEAR" he begs tears flowing down his cheeks his eyeliner and mascara running with the tears.
"No Bill you wont, this relationship wont work, it's toxic for me and you, this- this is for the best i think" You say sighing as you pull your bag up opening the handle up and holding onto it.
You listen to bill sobs as he tries to bargen with you, to make you stay, his promises of how he wont be jealous and he'll do better, words that fell on deaf ears as you have already made up your mind, knowing even in your mind blurry with emotions that this would be the best for both Bill and You.
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ganondoodle · 5 months
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sorry about that last rambling post, i didnt mean to sound like its worse than it may be, but i got no ... lense to view it through but my own, and the main reason i wrote it out anyway was bc i needed to get it out (even if posting it might be not the greatest idea) .. and bc it kinda showcases, i think, how my stories kinda write themselves, involuntarily in a way? its not like im not putting in any effort- but its like .. i cant STOP it always keeps going and even the dumbest idea stays in some form, its very hard to get everything in place bc theres so much going on all the while i am very slow at making anything, writing or drawing anything, especially anythign coherent is very hard bc not only do i get constantly distracted, i get distracted by my own thoughts suddendly skipping to a certain scene and me having to go throguh imagining in detail NO MATTER how many times i have done it before for the same scene that i already decided on how it goes, when theres a new idea it can take over my entire day bc i cant let go of it-
not trying to sound either like im the only that has that sort of problem, but i think its a big part as of why i start tso many projects without being able to finish them, or even start them bc i constantly have to fight my own thoughts from derailing into another daydream session, thinking of too much too fast than i can ever draw or even write about and not knowing what is worthwhile and what isnt (im telling you i have no idea what is good and what isnt, idk why but for all i know all things i do could be trash, or they all could be bad, maybe the one i thinnk is decent is actually worse than the things i deem not good enough and once i start to think no this isnt good enough i stop having fun making or thinking it bc im trying to do better
honestly its kind of impressive that i can get anything out at all, not to pat myself on the back there but even if i hate how long it takes me, considering how much im having to work just to start working on something at all, the fact that i could post stuff coherent enough for some people to understand AND LIKE is something i should be a little more proud of
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cowboy-robooty · 10 months
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no guys see robooty itager is the slowest burn fucking imaginable. because i think that 1) italy would have to initiate them dating since germany thinks hes rejected forever after buon san valentino (my boy loves one sided crush) and 2) if they dont slow burn theyll crash and explode. because i think italy takes forever to realize he genuinely really fucking love germany and ONLY loves him and is willing to be loyal 'n treat him well to have him. Since i think italy isnt the type to really love ever since his kindergarten crush so he takes forever to recognize what he feels is genuine love (plus his love is born from a sense of entitlement but thats a whole 'nother enchilada). but yeah and because they take forever and are fully developed in their feelings when they date things are happy happy sunshine swag peace and love ❤️ they do stupid shit as bros the only difference now is they make out sometimes and japan cries himself to sleep everyday ^_^
but in a world where somehow they started dating BEFORE italy completely sorts out his feelings then OHHHH MY GOD. HELLWORLD. LITERAL HELLWORLD. because italy would totally cheat on germany and germanys heart would have youtube poop glass shattering effect explosion and italy would be #unloyal and #mean #scumgong and he would break up with germany for being so clingy and upset about him breaking his heart everyday or germany would break up with italy because everyone in his entire life (2 people: japan and prussia) is telling him that he needs to because italys making him chew glass (they take like 6 years to convince him and have to resort to saying its for italys own good if he breaks up with him). and then when they break up germany would hashtag die and explode because he obviously still loves italy but hes held back by prussia to not come back to him and tries to satiate his autistic brain by thinking "he was mean to me and told me to leave. im sorry ill leave now sorry for bothering you" and he also doesnt feel close to anybody except italy and has to go "brother....... i am.... not feeling good right now........" and cant say much else bc WE SAW IN THE ANIME GERMANY WANTED TO VENT ABT ITALY AND REALIZED HE HAS NOBODY BC HE ONLY IS CLOSE ENOUGH IN THAT WAY TO ITALY. and then cut to italy and hes partying it up because hes pissed off at germany for being on his ass hardcore every single day for the past god knows how long (hate my wife syndrome) until a while later the partying slows down and he has a bunch of moments where he thinks "well usually right now germany would do [thing]" and that builds up until he is hit with the full realization that germany is not going to stay by his side anymore. because hes run away now and hes never ever coming back. and that realization is like the evil version of italy realizing that he loves germany and wants him to ALWAYS be by his side; so much so that hes willing to do what it takes and compromise and be loyal n shit to make that happen. and now italy is freaking out because he doesnt feel this urge ever and now hes already fumbled the dude hes fr in gays with. but this realization is evil because its under a sense of panic and shit so its also motivated by italy feeling a sense of entitlement to having germany by his side and like HES SUPPOSED TO BE HERE.
and from there italy would get back together with germany either easily bc he would just ask and say sorry and germany would go "well to be fair I should have been better as well. yes we should try again i want to too, i will try my best to not fail you this time." or it would be hard because germany would have his mind made up (with prussias support and urging and shit) to be like no italy we arent good for eachother and i cant (shouldnt) forgive you for doing those things to me and italy would be like Oh. and chew glass and freak the fuck out until he decides hes going to use #emotional manipulation and sob to everyone about how germany wont take him back and make everyone hate on germany and call him a terrible guy n shit to make germany feel so guilty and think hes an awful person to italy that he takes italy back. but even then their relationship is now fucked up forever because they live in perfect symbiosis thats their entire thing but now they dont because germany now has doubt of italy because of how he went into their relationship before and didnt give a fuck and italy unlocked his evil paranoia because now when he gets scared that germany will leave him he cant be comforted by thinking that would never happen because IT DID. HE WAS SEPERATED FROM HIM IT IS POSSIBLE TO MAKE GERMANY RUN AWAY. and because of that italy gets a lot more freaky about not wanting anyone to like germany so germany wont like them more than him and being emotionally manipulative and possessive and yandere shit because his paranoia is driving him to it. itager is great because it has so much potential to be evil like italy could emotionally manipulate germany so hard and all that shit but it would never happen because germany is so loyal and obsessed with italy that he never makes italy feel paranoid and like he has to. theyre like imagine if someone who has potential yandere gene in them dated a person who loved them more than anything in the entire universe and bends to their every will and never even glances at another person. that yandere gene is never getting activated bruh and at most manifests when italys like WAHHHH GERMANY YOU WONT LIKE RUSSIA MORE THAN ME RIGHT?? WHY DONT I HAVE THE MOST GERMAN TOURISTS IN THE WORLD WTF IS THERE SOMETHING ABOUT ME I NEED TO CHANGE????? but in the world where they rush things they break up and it disrupts all this homeostasis and makes them a little evil afterwards because italy has excessive paranoia that cant be quenched and germany has autism doubt because "he betrayed me once...... so hell probably betray me again *cries*"
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kk0hii · 16 hours
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How did you get into School Zone and what got you hooked on it?
Back then in 2022/2021?? i think? I was searching for some yuri/ GL to read cus i want to read that stuff more and i rlly wants the one that r yk good and stuff
I saw school zone cover but i cant tell if its the yokoe and kei running to the together or yokoe and kei sitting tgt with bunch of other chairs and the keep out sign
Anyway i immediately got hooked cus it looks pretty nice and stuff
I read it and pretty much fall in love
Im sort of always a big fan on slice of life type of media (but im also someone who love some kind of have a depth goin on media or just serious stuff depends on my mood)
At first the school zone seems like some kind of a comedy slice of life manga EXCEPT that its yuri which is amazing cus even though ive seen yuri with slice of life before i havent seen yet the one that r like this
And school zone girls comedy is hella funny especially its amazingly like how it depict on how a teenage girls act
And one thing is im pretty sure school zone girls is made by a woman
Bcs i dont trust that much men to write such an amazing depiction of how a high school girls act ( they always fumble it or just idk it doesnt feel much like it)
And especially school zone girls isnt written to be sexualization or male centered
All of the girls in school zone genuinely have their own personality and also depht! Cus the more u read the manga the more u know about them! Its soo good i love it so much
Cus i also wish other media make a media like how school zone does it! And i wish there was more media thats more of a girls centered (girl being the mc or just more girls character with interesting personality)
Literally rn after rereading school zone for alot of times it got me lazy to start another media thats not girls centered (the girl being an mc or more girls character that feels like how girls are) because so many shows already have so much idk guys bein the mc or guys character being alot more
And especially the writing on the girls
School zone girls feels so prefect for me and thats why i keep om rereading it so many times
Oh and also i wont say its 100% perfect cus we got cough tsubaki being that
But even tho shes like that i think the execution is also not that bad
At first u thought shes that but the more u read and get into that serious chapter u become understand on how she works and stuff
Usually incest character always written as a WHY NOT and idk doesnt have more depht in it or just for stupid comedy purpose
Tsubaki just have more reason for it for me because of how we get to know her more
And i dont think the author (ningiyau) will make the incest thing happening anyway
Cus the more u read the more its more of
Tsubaki and hiiragi trying to meet people outside of each other (because back in middle school they pretty much isolate themselv from the world)
Difference is that tsubaki is more of TRYING to find friends to change
And hiiragi changing by unexpected event (utsugi)
And both of them still having this complicated sibling issues
(Especially tsubaki she got that attachment issues goin on and im interested in what will happen to her)
I think tsubaki and how it made her that way is already self explanatory in the manga
On top of that I rlly love her writing alot
Because at first or something she seems like those anime nice girl type of styff
Those anime girls whos always niceee especially to the mc or whatveer and usually male likers
But tsubaki is her own character
Shes anxious and stuff with people and also pessimistic with her situation(when theres seem to be no way out) ven though shes very talented with grades and sport
But she can also be optimistic when she sees the opportunity or solution to her situation
And she sees good stuff in people and she also easily influences(?) by others ( example yatsude trying to make some lie story about their club at firs shes like " ITS A LIE???" but then she started to get into it and excited "OMG NEW STORY WOW" And her with yokoe
Yokoe telling her which hand to pick and say stuff about i got expectation from u and she reactinf "wow expectation!!" And also reacting "huh!?" To her respond from picking the hand)
But yeah i rlly like tsubaki and all of the cast personality and ningiyau rlly do genuinely give so much depht in them
This yuri literally have so many characters with each of their oen personality and how so many dynamic could form from those characters and its just so refreshing to see!
(Also i loooove kaname and how shes written as i wanan get to know her more)
But anyway im pretty much rambling now but yeah i think what got me hooked is just of how funny and also fresh the characters are with their own personality (especially since theyr girls) and how ningiyau execute them and the story
I wish school zone isnt gonna be underrated anymore because this yuri deserves more recognition and loves (hopefully one day)
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all my ttpd notes on each song before public opinion (overall opinion of the album at the end)
i didnt include tracks 1-6 bc ive posted about them already, but ill add them slowly by eod tomorrow most likely
fresh out the slammer
this is the track i was most excited for i think
oh title drop very early
fresh. out. the slammer. uhhh
i love the flow on all of the songs but i especially like this, its very fluid
FOR JUST ONE HOUR OF SUNSHINE!!!
in the shade of how he was feeling
the flow is very midnight rain i think
OOOH THE CHANGE AT 2:25 I LOVE THISSSSS
"im the girl of his american dreams" OMGGGG
i like the second half way better but the song is awesome
i think what im noticing about the album overall (so far) is it feels very empty production wise. its mostly her voice carrying it through but its hollow and i really think we need a more full production on this, or at least some parts of it. it feels uneven yk? or sort of unfinished, like she had the vocals and just slapped something behind it
florida!!!
VERY VERY EXCITED FOR THIS FLORENCE!!!!!!
and my friends all smell like weed or little babies.... ok.
okkkk less than a minute in and this is sooo anti-capitalist for a billionaire
FLORENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i was so scared she'd be swept aside
"all my girls got their lace and their crimes"
so many mentions of a cheating husband on this album
"is that a bad thing to say in a song?" I LOOOOOVE MENTIONS OF THE MEDIA IN THAT MEDIA
FLORIDAAAA!! IS ONE HELL OF A DRuug..........
you can kind of here the thinness (??) of taylor's voice next to florence, the depth is lacking -- not necessarily bad, just something you can hear more with this track
some parts of it ("little did you know...") sound sort of like everybody wants to rule the world, idk if thats just me
guilty as sin
love the production this is so niceee
am i allowed to cry!
"oh what a way to dieeeee"
MESSY TOP LIP KISS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
without ever touching his skin, how can i be guilty as sin............ is this about matty healy please
the quiet distorted "what?" in the bg is very bejeweled
my bedsheets are ablaze
the melody on this is lowkey kind of boring. theres points where i expect her to do something interesting with her voice and flick up or drop low or trill and it just doesnt happen. would be very cool if that was there
"long suffering propriety" that whole bridge is written well but sung so clunky? like it doesnt sound natural it sounds like syllable filler yk? and i know this bc i do it way too much KSJDCHIUHRFIUH
ending with am i allowed to cry, its very much an internal song. idk how to explain it but shes looking in, and when she says am i allowed to cry, shes looking up. <- what???
whos afraid of little old me?
ooooh it starts out so cunty
"my bare hands paved their paths"
you dont get to tell me about sad!
I LOVE THISSS its so mad woman its so rep coded
"i leap from the gallows and i levitate down your street" GREAT LYRIC HILARIOUS VISUAL ITS LIKE THAT HALLWAY MEME BUT WITH TAYLOR. hold on
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okay
WHOS AFRAID OF LITTLE OLD ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you should be <- ME TO MY MOM
production goes off cunty as fuck
"the scandal was contained" OMGG TELL ME TELL ME
you dont get to tell me you feel bad variant
BRIDGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i think this is my favorite track i love it
"the circus life made me mean" ooooh very very interesting. i will analyze this song more fully later but not on this post
"tell me everything is not about me, what if it is?" OKAYYYYY
the way she sings "you should be" reminds of something on folklore/evermore but i cant think of what
shes very cool on this song. the emotion actually comes through.
"you wouldnt last an hour in the asylum where they raised me." oh okay! so like. have we considered not saying that.
i think that line turned me off the whole song KJSDCIUERFHIUEFH LIKE???? HELLO???????
i just. hm. very disappointed. you have one billion dollars. your parents put down the deposit for your career. ok.
the way she sings "wretched" and "narcotics" is what i wanted for more of the album. ykwim.
i will admit her screaming the title is veeeery very nice
"i am what i am cause you trained me" okkkk. im sorry taylor my bad!
idk how i feel about this song anymore. should i just ignore the lyrics and listen lmaoo
i can fix him (no i really i can)
okay i was waiting on this song but with the context of the rest of the album. idk. we'll see
okay IMMEDIATE ick.......... "the smoke cloud billows out his mouth like a freight train through a small town" okay taylor i guess rhymezone was in for her. idkkkkk
okay next line came in actually i spoke too soon it serves !!
this is very cowboy like me inverse
ughhh title drop already. see i wanted it cunty!!! why title it that when its so nothing. this is SO NOTHING
is this about matty healy. girl hes a neonazi you cant fix him
BRIDGE?????? i love when she shows off her kinks
okay. yeah this song was very nothing.
loml
the piano is very gentle on this and muted. i like it
is this aaron dessner? hold on lemme check
yes it is!!!
"never before and never since" looooove <3 <3 <3
"still alive, killing time at the cemetery, never quite buried in your suit and tie" LOOOOOOVE <3 <3 <3
this is very her relationship with religion methinks....
"about a million times" ala illicit affairs "a million little times"
"when your impressionist paintings of heaven turned out to be fakes" i think this is my favorite lyricism out of the album, its very natural its very clear its very real. i really really like it
A CONMAN SELLS A FOOL A GET LOVE QUICK SCHEME. GAGGED
some of it is very grieving that she didnt last with her first love, that she still has to work for it. but its also still feeling like a metaphor for religious beliefs and god, that she cant fully believe and she wishes she had unwavering faith
MR STEAL YO GIRL????????????
"talking rings and talking cradles"
i wish i could unrecall how we almost had it all
"SOMETHING COUNTERFEIT'S DEAD" GLITCH I ALWAYS BELIEVED IN YOU (lie)
"ill never leave. never mind"
the way this extends is very phoebe bridgers and the way she enunciates "loss of my life" is very her as well
okay donesies. i liked this one a lot.
i can do it with a broken heart
i like the glimmery production
lyrics again are flopping a little :/
"im a real tough kid, i can handle my shit" 😸 okay
GOTTA FAKE IT TIL I MAKE IT TIL I DID !!!
the lyrics are so over and so back so much its killing me. i cringe so hard i cry and then i gag just as hard
lights camera bitch smile even when i wanna die......................
"ALL THE PIECES OF ME SHATTERED WHILE THE CROWD WAS SCREAMING MORE" im so. im sooo sos so so feeling aout this.
whos counting in the background idk how i feel about it
"im so depressed i act like its my birthday everyday" ughhhhh!!! cunty but she didnt sing it right yk. idk.
production slays
"im so obsessed with him but he avoids me like the plague" we're back again. i told yall its over and back and over and back SOOOOOO MUCH
okay i think i like it
I CRY A LOT BUT I AM SO PRODUCTIVE! SOOOOOOOOOOOO ME
i wanted the whole album to be like that verse
im a real tough kid again :/ shhhh
"in stilettos for miles" eras im so so sorry girl
IM SO DEPRESSED I ACT LIKE ITS MY BIRTHDAY EVERY DAY IM SO OBSESSED WITH HIM BUT HE AVOIDS ME LIKE THE PLAGUE I CRY A LOT BUT I AM SO PRODUCTIVE ITS AN ART YOU KNOW YOURE GOOD WHEN YOU CAN EVEN DO IT WITH A BROKEN HEART! ! !
when she does "you know youre good!" and the laughing and everything ohhhh my god. IM SO MISERABLE! AND NO ONE KNOWS! dont try and come for my job OKAYYYYYYY SHE SERVED ON THIS
okay i think i really like this song. i just need a couple days lol
the smallest man who ever lived
veryyyyy excited for this. i think. a little.
"who the fuck was that guy" OKAYY!!!!!!!!
theres no lyric i was to write here but its all very good btw
she sounds like my english teacher vocally and its killing me KSJDCIUERHFIUERH
"in public showed me off then sank in stoned oblivion"
i cant figure out what shes saying "once your queen had come, you treat her like an ulcer and"??? alseran?? i cant understand it skdjfhieurhiuerg
you didnt measure up in any measure of a man !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! taylor date girls <3
the production is building here i like it is she gonna belt/scream
YEAHHHH BELTING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"were you a sleeper cell spy in 50 years will all this be declassified and youll confess why you did it and ill say good riddance cause it wasnt sex [something something] and it wasnt forbidden" I REAAAAALLY LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i like when she makes up situations and puts herself in them
YOU CRASHED MY PARTY AND YOUR RENTAL CAR
you kicked out the stage lights but youre still performing.
"you are what you did" versus innocent's "who you are is not where you've been"
i like this track
the alchemy
I WAS SUPER EXCITED FOR THIS BUT NOW IDK HOW TO FEEL!!! idk im just jumping in
oh r&b production?? interesting....
ooh whats the rumbling thing i like that
shes returning to something but what...
TOUCHDOWN IS THIS KILLATRAV !!!!!!!!!!!!!! KILLATRAV KILLATRAV !!!!!!!!!!!
oh title drop but i wasnt listening KJSHCIUHEGFH
reference to maathp
is this returning to american boys KJIUFHEORUFHOERF???
oh this is sooooo referencing maathp
okay but it sounds like this person and her were already together and now theyre back "his heart....is still reserved for me" or maybe thats just trav holding on the friendship bracelet
i hate to say this but "wheres the trophy? he just comes running over to me" is very call it what you want + sweet nothing and another song i cant remember right now but yall know...... im sorry
im stupid as hell i cant hear what the line is where she says the alchemy
"he jokes that its heroine but this time with an e" THIS TIME??????
very much like this song. def not what i was expecting and im disappointed in that regard but its still a fun song
clara bow
nervous for this song. i like when she references people and places but theres a way to do it so i get scared every time
oooh ear ringing noise is very fun. i hope its not the whole time though
immediate title drop
oh so its not her? shes talking to someone else i think
oh this is in her past i think
lyrics are flopping.
"breath of fresh air through the smoke rings" like i can fix him (no really i can"
ohhh tambourine WAS stevie nicks reference
SORRY i dont like how she says eclipse lmaoo
i kind of dont vibe with all the small town references its as if she needs to remind us where she came from to be considered good like look how much i did when i came from nothing (even though she didnt)
YOU LOOK LIKE TAYLOR SWIFT IN THIS LIGHT !!!!
youve got edge, she never did girlllllllllll
so does she consider herself the "replacement" for clara bow?
song is okay i think it might grow on me. i think the biggest disappointment on this album is how predictable it all feels sonically.
the black dog
bonus track!! this is the only one i have so i might add the others later but tbh i might wait bc i dont know how much i. care.
muted pianooooo i love muted piano<333
YOU SHARED YOUR LOCATION AND FORGOT TO TURN IT OFF
oh the black dog is a bar. im kind of. okay. okay
"shes too young to know this song" is a nice line but its clunky how its sung
old habits die screaming!
girl your longing does NAWT stay unspoken
folklore when she used "big" words it felt natural (for the most part). here it feels performative? like it doesnt FIT naturally
"was it hazing for a cruel fraternity i pledged" idk how to feel about this!
lots and lots of smoke references!
"six weeks of breathing clean air" -> CLEAN!!!!!!!!!!
two times she says she wants to burn her clothes on this album
i like the production im literally kind of ignoring the lyrics
omg never mind "tail between your legs youre leaving"
personal ick but i hate when songs cut off in a word. she goes "old habits die screeeeeam-" and nothing. JUST SAY THE -ING
okay cool. mid song but i hope the swifties who thought it was about depression and got the variant are feeling okay<33
overall: idk about this album. i went in really excited and so maybe thats why i feel so let down... but i feel so let down. this isnt what was marketed, this isnt anything even real for a lot of it. she's all over the place and i dont think its a tight and solid album -- although monetarily it will obviously look like one. there are moments where we get something very her and very real and i think those moments save the album. the production is also a little all over the place, and so very nothing. im not asking her to do anything fresh or new but why would you market it as if it was and not deliver?
i liked florida!!!, loml, and i can do it with a broken heart -- i think clara bow, the alchemy, and some others (you can tell with my notes LOL) will grow on me. and the tortured poets department and my boy only breaks his favorite toys were good songs, but i think i need a few days to actually acknowledge them as such.
also i think lyrically shes done a few very interesting things. it almost feels like debut with how specific it is and the name dropping and everything -- however it is new/rusty for her so that also kind of hurts her overall. i think maybe this is like good practice for a more evolved narrative lyricism in the future, bc her past mo of hazy visuals and thinly connected moments to string into a narrative just doesnt work anymore.
i will say. she did make me experience all 5 stages of grief plus some fun extras. maybe not in the way she wanted, but i did anyway ! its a fun album and i def think ill like it more as time goes on, but this is my opinion without outside influence and within the first day of listening -- i want to see how that changes! im also holding off on album rankings until a week or two passes
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ladysophiebeckett · 5 months
Text
imagine ur some french guy who got dumped by unknown colombian woman and now ur living ur khaki life on the coast of cartagena and ur friend catalina comes down to work on colombia's beauty pageant and brings with her a severely depressed assistant with enormous glasses and gelled down bangs. and ur friend is like 'hey help me cheer my assistant up she's going through it' and ur like 'okay sure whatever' and as pageant week continues u discover that ur friend's assistant has a forehead and giant eyes and damn she's cute actually. u and her are getting along great. yeah u tried to kiss her and she rejected u but it's probably bc she's just shy. pageant week ends and she leaves but she'll probably call u right? weeks go by and ur channel surfing on ur tv by the beach and u see her--ur friend's newly beautiful assistant only she's not an assistant anymore. she's launching a fashion line on tv with all sorts of famous ppl around her. u thought she was a beach girl and that she wasn't really into fashion. that's so weird.
anyway, u call ur friend and ask about her now beautiful Not assistant anymore friend and u learn she's president of some company you've never heard of and that its not a permanent job and ur like oh?? suddenly u remember ur business plan with some other ppl about colonizing the cartagena coastline with some chain restaurants and ur like like 'well.....before i waste money on putting a job ad in the Colombian Times i may as well....offer a managing job to a woman who already has a job that i only knew for 1 week but when u get to this company that youve never heard of until two days ago (bc u didnt call the woman u wanted to see ahead of time) u catch her by surprise when she's yelling at an employee. these polluted, busy cities, u think--they always change u : ( but not to worry! u offer a beach life job to this woman ur pretty sure u know well, of course u tell her she wont be getting paid the same as she is now as president of a company. but its okay bc the cost living is different at the beach <3 but when u mention her previous employer in a negative way her giant eyes get darker and she kind of looks at u funny.
u try to distract her by describing the ocean again. then u drive her car to her house to meet her parents bc that's a normal thing to do with a woman youve known for a week. her parents like u and u think all u need is one dinner to close the deal. but right as ur both about to drink the mai tai u made her order, her old boss shows up and sits next to her. and ur very confused. her old boss starts talking about ur job offer and how it's wonderful and ur like 'well yeah' but then he starts talking about the company and how much company loves her and how much the company needs her and ur like 'oh??? Oh'. and then u think to urself--'maybe i should have put an ad in the paper' bc it looks like someone's already in the boss\employee fall in love trope and its def not u. ur date-not-date is ruined even tho she tells u she does want ur low paying job. weeks go by and ur colonizing chain restaurant friends have already hired someone for the position u were offering to some woman u only knew a week but bc u like to suffer, u call her and she's like 'michel?? oh hey. no i wont be taking ur job offer. but thank u for thinking of me. sorry, i cant talk right now, im on my way to a dress fitting. ciao. 'dress fitting? must be busy with another fashion launch'. she never calls u back. oh well. at least u have those free ocean sounds.
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aroacesafeplaceforall · 4 months
Note
hello, its me! the anon who asked for your opinion abt shipping Alastor with other characters :)
firstly, thank you for answering! i totally agree that, if you build on a character's canon aro/ace orientation, then shipping them would be okay. ive just heard other people say doing that was aroace erasure, and i didnt feel like i had much say, because (as previously stated) im aceflux and nebularomantic.
my sexuality fluctuates, and i cant really tell the difference between romantic and platonic attraction, which is why i didnt feel qualified to put out my opinion on such matters
i also feel like i should apologize, bc i kinda feel like my ask may have snowballed into some sort discourse? idk, just from what i saw when looking at the blog every now and then, it looked like some shit was going down, revolving around Alastor 😭
now, onto why im here: why should someone do if a person they looked up to, who outwardly supported the aroace community, turns out to be a horrible person? (im sure that some people reading this can already guess who im talking about)
i feel so icky about the situation, bc ive supported and loved this person for years. all of the songs theyve ever written have been so aro-coded (as said by aromantics), and a vast majority of their fanbase is aromantic/on the aro/ace spectrum, myself included. they even spoke about their love for the aromantic community openly, and now, with them being exposed as a horrible person, i dont really know how to feel. is there any advice you could give me and others who are in the same boat? /nf
—sincerely, 🦢🦌
No it’s all good! The discourse was started by me ducking up and some people taking it slightly to far.
Unfortunately I do know who you’re talking about. I was in that fandom back in 20-22 ish, and I couldn’t be happier that I left. Honestly. I don’t know ANYthing about the situation other then someone being revealed to be a piece of shit for some reason and I would like to keep it that way:
I don’t need to know the details about what this person did.
Small side note before I begin:
I think the problem is a lot of people have put people like that on a pedestal while not knowing anything about them. 
The big difference between e- celebrities and true (actors, singers, rich assholes ect) celebrities is the accountability of the public. True celebrities have been held accountable much sooner and to much more effect then e-celebrities due to the fact that the media cares what they do. The paparazzi ect
People talking about not listening to said persons music anymore: reminder that it’s not only them who produces and plays that music. Don’t listen to their solo shit, burn CDs rip it off YouTube, piracy is on the rise.
The rest of the people involved with the band are NOT at fault here and their career and income should not have to suffer for an asshole.
“Cancel” the person not the team.
You can still relate to something without relating to the asshole
You can still relate to something without being the asshole
Be respectful
Listen to victims
And a word for my aspecs ->
The amount of straight people who are just as bad doesn’t matter here, no matter what happens next, all people will see is “he supported aroace spec people” and will try and use it.
Ignore that block them and report harassment
Stay safe anon
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mcl38 · 6 months
Note
I personally think it’s not that nowadays Lando cares about Carlos less than Carlos does about him, I think it’s more about him getting fed up with repeated questions about his friendships with other drivers and with Carlos in particular, and actual journalists using these cringe words like ‘bromance’ and stuff, it’s annoying as fuck. He still answers that he gets along well mostly with Carlos and Max, so kudos to him for keeping it professional and not telling them to fuck off haha he’s literally asked about this all the time, like, everyone and their dog know by now who his friends are, journalists need to give it a rest already and ask him better questions
so like yeah, i do think its mostly that. lando hates few things more than people placing their own narratives on him, or thinking they know things abt his personal life that they dont. also, one of those few things (he hates even more) is cringe, or maybe in particular outdated-cringe - i genuinely think if someone mentions milk at him nowadays he might just curdle (ha) and die on the spot. so like. carlando and bromances in general hit BOTH of those spots. its as if theyre designed specifically to piss him off
but beyond that, i think uh. hm. how do i phrase this. i think fundamentally carlos and lando have slightly different attitudes towards competition, and also that.... i want u to bear w me on this one bc i say this w all my love for lando but i think carlos is just a bit more caring and sentimental as a person
what i mean abt the diff attitudes is hugely informed by this video i saw today (pretty sure @/vegasgrandprix linked to it so ill try to find it and insert it here!) where carlos said he'd maybe give a centimetre more leeway to fernando and lando when racing wheel to wheel. he goes on to say that that doesnt rly mean much and that hes touched with lando and fernando before so clearly it doesnt make a difference, but at the same time this is the first driver ive ever heard say this in any capacity. compare this with landos very straightforward 'once you're on track you don't think about those things anymore and all you want is to beat them' like. i genuinely dont think carlos features in landos thoughts at all when hes in the cockpit - which i wouldnt expect either! but apparently lando features in carlos's
i think u can rly see this when u compare what they both said abt singapore. lando, assuming carlos's racer brain works like his, says in all his interviews that carlos wouldve just done that for anyone and it doesnt make any difference that its them two. meanwhile, carlos fully explicitly says that he finds it more special bc he and lando were cooperating & managed to get a 1-2. that kind of clearly shows a difference in mindset beyond lando just not wanting to play the media game
abt what i meant saying carlos is a more caring person, in their relationship particularly - i just think hes always been rly attentive towards lando and has just like kinda kept doing it even after he moved teams. i rmbr watching their presser together a few months ago where carlos was being sooo delicate abt lando clearly being worse at golf bc he hadnt played in a while, & it rly reminded me of their dynamic back when they were teammates - while landos always found carlos funny and respected him as a racer, carlos was the one actively attentive to landos mood swings, self criticism, anxiety, etc. i think seeing lando at his (self-described) worst in terms of mental state has made carlos always harbour a sort of protectiveness towards him that lando cant and also isnt expected to reciprocate.
so like yeah i dont think landos lying when he says hes closest to max and carlos on the grid. he DOES get along w carlos and makes an effort to hang out w him when he can. i just think carlos has a slightly more open or emotional character, which reflects as a vague imbalance in their friendship
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spookyserenades · 6 months
Note
I’VE NEVER WANTED TO PUNCH SOMEONE IN THE SKULL MORE-
but I wanna punch u in like a loving way ya know 🥹🥺🙈🙊🙉😭
i-
ok i didnt have time to talk abt last chapter, but honestly all u have to know is that i loved every single word, every punctuation mark, every period, every space-
omg this chapter was wild i cant-
yoongi and y/n, I’ve never met a couple whose good and bad at communication at the same time i cant- no cause like him writing a song for her bc of her, when he played it i imaged Butterfly for some reason, the melody is so beautiful on the piano 🥺🥹 omg not him with his shirt off at the b-ball court. He rlly flexing huh, yeah sure ur too HOT 🥵 omg she got a vision, LIKE HER MOM! Will this be a reoccurring theme with her? Oooo. OMG THAT FIRST KISS WAS SO SWEET WHEN IT SORT OF CAME FULL CIRCLE WITH YOONGI ASKING HER TO KISS HIM! AND THEN HIM ASKING FOR MORE OMG ITS SO HOT WTF I KNOW I SHOULDNT BE THIS HORNY YET BUT UR WRITING IS JUST 🤌🏼 💋 THEY ARE IN LOOOOVE FR LIKE WE KNEW THEY BOTH HEAD OVER HEELS, SO HEAD OVER HEELS THEY COULDNT GET SLEEP FOR WEEKS/DAYS~ OH MAN SECRET RELATIONSHIP YEAH WELL-
omg wtf yeah secret relationship went down the drain lol. Either hobi’s hearing is super good and he’s near the room or everyone heard y/n fucking whining into yoongis mouth dam. Or he saw that quick kiss in her room omg ur cliffhangers dana drive me INSANE! Hobi is such a tease too! Now him teasing her for her heart palpitations poor girl cant handle all the handsome men around her like same girlie pop-I do wonder how this will effect the hybrids dynamics with each other and her 🤔
omg jinnies b day he deserves the world. Not him feeding her, he KNEW what he was doing and in FRONT of everyone too 😏 him warming up her hands with his breath i cant- and then going to take cooking class in February. HIM SAYING HE DOESNT WANT TO GO WITH ANYONE ELSE BUT HERRRR 😭 him saying lets go home bc home is smth he never truly haddd and he feels safe mow eeek😭😭😭😭
Omg not tae driving the way home- KNOWING THE WAY HOOOME. No cause like you can tell they probably all know the way home by heart bc they cherish her and the house sm its means so much to them i cant i actually had to stop reading after that line bc i got so emotional. Omg tae is taking his photography seriously 🥰 im so glad hes really delving into his passion! Omg their ID’s lol they must be so cute and funny 😆
ofc jimin is a responsible cutie we love, cant wait to see more scenes with him later~ but him saying y/n looks good in any photo ✋ stop sir u are such a charmer i cant- eeeeeek
omg joonie so cute. He cares for her sm and he’s the type of person to not beat around the bush. He cares and wants her to be straightforward when shes upset 😭 eeeek
omg the scene with jk- i LOVE BANTER SM and their scenes always crack me up. Jk’s dialogue is so fun! No not her giving the puppy dog eyes 🥺 and it not working… or maybe it did 😏 omg and her being bold with that KISS ON THE CHEEK- i was imagining jk when he gets surprised or zones out 😲 its so funny 😂 omg y/n has W Rizz for sure~
omg ben already predicted this my mans was just waiting for her to catch up- its so good to see him again I love y/n’s friends. Him lifting her up but also humoring her is SO what i would do if my friend was in a similar situation! Like Y/N GIRLIE POP I ARE THE IT GIRL U GOT NOTHIN TO WORRY ABT!
THANK YOU SM FOR THIS UPDATE I LOVE U SM DANA!!!!! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!!! Remember, make sure to take care of urself first and foremost! 😤 Love you byeeee~
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FDJSKAFHDSAF I GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO PUNCH MY SKULL LMAO!! I'm so so happy that you loved the last two chapters, there was SO much that went down, I can't wait to chat about them hehehe 💜
SO fhdjsaf you're right on the money with Yoongi and MC not knowing how to communicate with each other for SHIT. Like I think they rely on telepathy or vibes too much, neither of them are mind readers... so much of their conflict these past two chapters could have been resolved if they just sat down and talked calmly about things for an hour or so!!! 💀BUT stop it right now Butterfly is one of my favorite BTS songs, so so gorgeous on the piano, and I could imagine a very similar melody that Yoongi would write for MC being something like that too. 🦋
HNNNNGGGFF Yoongi all sweaty on the court without his shirt.... damp long hair....teasing MC the whole way UGH I just know that I'd be drooling! 🥵And with that vision WHEW I'm so happy I could incorporate that into MC's character finally, I will say that this is something that will begin to happen more frequently for MC-- ever since she has been diving more into her spirituality and practices, her psychic abilities have been getting stronger.
The kiss. THE KISS!!! I'VE BEEN DYING TO WRITE SOME ROMANCE FOREVER NOW MY GOODNESS IT TOOK 13 CHAPTERS!! I just feel like Yoongi is such a 0 to 100 kind of guy when it comes to kisses, sweet and tender to begin with, then BAM super passionate and intense. I really really loved writing that scene, I'd say that Yoongi was truly desperate and yearning for MC for so long that he couldn't help but beg for more hnnnnngggg. But now they have to tip toe around for a little bit until they figure out how to tell the others, which turns into MORE yearning and AH I wanna chew on my drywall!!!! 👹
djkafdakfdask I'm excited to continue off where we left off! You know I always gotta leave you all on a cliffhanger. I wonder how MC is going to dodge Hoseok's questioning, and we don't know if he heard those two making out (he shouldn't have been able to, the music room is soundproofed...) or was perceptive to how weird MC and Yoongi were being with each other. I also feel like if Hoseok heard them, some of the others would as well, and I can think of a few (Namjoon, Tae, Seokjin for ex.) that would probably bust down that door!!! But also your theory of Hoseok possibly catching their kiss in the hallway is something that could have happened eeeee. Also I love teasing Hoseok as well he raises my blood pressure... poor MC can't even hide her heartrate from them!
UGH Jinnie's birthday he's such a sweet darling, I love that he was able to go out somewhere yummy to eat and spend time with everyone. I also really love when he feeds MC... it's so hot to me idk why like yes PLS grab my face and stare at me and treat me like a princess Jin!!! Always making sure she's warm, wanting to go to the cooking class with just her, and feeling truly at home with her and in their house I CAN'T He's just such a love. 😍
Tae baby... just like Jin, he knows where home is now and AH they're just all getting so close. You're so right, they really cherish her so so much. Tae and his photography too is so fun to write about, it's nice that he gets to express himself creatively and the other hybrids let him take their ID pictures was a sweet hidden moment that I'm happy you noticed!
Definitely more Jimin on the way!! It's been the Yoongi show for a bit, but that's just how I've planned these few chapters. Don't worry, each of them will get their turns to be the stars, which I'm super excited about in the future! Charmer Libra Jimin is my Roman Empire, totally more of a flirt and a romantic as time goes on. Joon UGH!! My little wolf, he's warmed up so much to MC, and he's very straightforward and stern like you said-- ever since the Incident, he seems to be very concerned about weather or not MC is feeling upset.
HA I love writing MC and Jeongguk's interactions, they're both such little shits and you can tell when they get on each other's nerves, but it's less antagonistic these days and more playful. He totally called her out for pouting, and while it might work for some of the others, it doesn't on him LOL. But she got him back with that kiss, huh? I bet she's been dying to do that for months...
I'm PSYCHED you mentioned Ben. He's my favorite side character to write, and it's nice that MC is able to confide in him about any of her worries. You're right, he totally caught onto her having crushes on all of them (it's probably dead obvious to him) But ahh it makes me so happy that you love him as well!! I agree, I'd probably act the same way towards MC if I were Ben-- teasing her but trying to encourage as well. 🫣
FDJAKSFH THANK YOU FOR READING AND SENDING ME SO MANY LOVELY COMMENTS!!! As always I look forward to what you have to say about updates, and I love you sm as well! Hope you had lovely holidays and a fun new year my sweets! 😘💜
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am sick so if you'd like to speak some suitehearts/killjoys thoughts to me i would love to hear them :P
im sorry ur not feeling well :(( heres a (too goddamn long sorry) summary of all the suitehearts Thoughts i was struck with in latin earlier to hopefully make you feel a bit better <33
so first i was just thinking abt Benz and how hed get roped into the show via threats from bli and then i was like ohhh okay what if they offer him a lab space/equipment to do whatever experiments/research he wants if they agree to being on the show. bc like at this point its abundantly clear that hes not gonna work for them by making new drugs as originally planned but they dont want to risk losing his potential (and they wanna show that theyre still fucking in control) so they make them this "deal" (which theyve really got no other option to take if they dont wanna die) and he gets this lab and figures he can find a way of counteracting blis bullshit sort of in secret bc he knows hes never gonna be able to get this equipment anywhere else
AND THEN i started thinking abt how this would effect his relationship with everyone else on the show (namely Sandman and Donnie bc Crab atp basically just exists off set in a drugged up haze) and i started thinking that maybe thered be some tension there bc the others are either poor or poor AND heavily demoted from past positions of power, and they look at Benz with his higher education and seemingly wealthy lifestyle and they think hes an enthusiastic participant in the system thats fucked them both over. so maybe theyre both kinda dicks to them off set but im thinking Benz doesn't really care bc he doesnt hang around much anyways if they arent filming- hes gotta spend every possible second in the lab yk? and then i started thinking about what might push them all to really talk and become friends which led to THE fucking idea ever
so one day Sandy and Donnie are looking for Benz in his dressing room bc they were supposed to start filming like fifteen fucking minutes ago god Benz this isnt just your show stop being so fucking selfish and come do your job- but they stop as just outside the door as they very clearly hear Benz arguing with someone important and they're saying something about a deal? and Benz sounds pissed saying this wasnt in the agreement and they said he could research whatever he wanted and they cant just do this- if they take this from him hes done. he's walking. they already took everything else from him so if they dont let him have this then hes off the fucking show and they can just try and catch him when he runs. and Whoever theyre talking to is just like "lolz okay well if you're leaving guess were gonna have to recast everyone for 'consistency' so i guess all the others have no reason to be kept around anymore-" and its like. a VERY clear threat on the rest of the Suitehearts' lives and Benz fucking freaks out. he backtracks immediately apologizes for speaking out says they can take his research he doesnt care jesus just dont bring them into this they didnt even do anything
so then Sandy and Donnie are like "ohhh What The Fuck :D" and they kinda feel like assholes for making assumptions bc clearly this isnt the first time Benz has been threatened (and its very much implied that blis gone through with last threats when he wasnt compliant) and theyve both already had their own shit building up and their hatred for bli was already basically at the tipping point already so yeah. they confront Benz and Benz tells him that theyd been trying to develop a sort of blocker for bli's pills. something people in the city can take to negate their effects. he didnt even know if it was possible or if he was on the right track with his research but apparently bes gotten close enough to something for bli to have to step in now. and the other two are obviously like ?????? WHAT THE FUCK YOU MEAN YOU LITERALLY INVENTED A WAY TO FREE PEOPLE FROM BLIS CONTROL WHAT THE SHIT WE HAVE TO HELP YOU SAVE THAT SHIT RIGHT THE FUCK NOW
and Benz is all like "well technically idk if ive invented shit yet bc i haven't actually tested the drug on anyone" and the others are like "bet okay you need a test subject? lets yoink Crab". Benz is incredibly fucking against doing that bc Consent and Ethics. he lets it slip that he does have a stash of the drug already made and hidden in his apartment and hes just gonna test the shit on himself but Sandy and Donnie are noooot fucking having it bc "dude. you understand they arent gonna let you go after this right? even if they keep you alive, they are gonna start tightening the reigns and pumping you full of shit and then youre gonna be the one who needs the blockers" and yeah they really do have a point there so Benz agrees to join them on the escape plan theyve been devising (which side note. yeah those two were planning on running away together anyways but thats a different post probably-) and what follows is the most stressful fucking two weeks of all of their lives as they start discreetly gathering the shit theyll need to leave all while having to wrap filming this season and dealing with management watching their every fucking move and making vague ominous comments about "the future of their careers" AND theyre slipping Crab these new fucking pills and having to keep a close eye on them and keep them calm as theyre slowing coming out of their trance and realizing Oh Fuck Im In The City
and then like. it all comes to a head and they very publicly are chased by a bunch of crows in costume bc they end up having to fin in the middle of filming and i havent thought much abt this lart yet so yeah. thats what i spent all of latin thinking abt I HOPE YOU FEEL BETTER SOON KAZ <333
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hey ari!!! hope ur doing super well <33 i dropped by to ask u a few things…….
let me know whenever u find the time to read my gojo fic… i made a few revisions over time and i’d rlly love to hear ur thoughts o valued gojo lover ;; its become very important to me , but no pressure :33
AND. need ur most brainrotting thoughts about sashishu por favor. for. research. yeah… research 🙇‍♂️
riko !!!! i hope ur doing super super well urself, im doing just fine <33 trying to finish this fic im writing so i can (hopefully) post it today pshjdh BUT its going good so far !!
i know i alr said it but !! i am so so excited to read ur gojo fic !! if i dont have time today then i will tmrw 🙏🙏 cant wait to rb it w a huge rant i took a lil peek at it n i can already tell its gonna be so good….
AND RIKO. tysm i appreciate u like no other, ive been waiting for a chance to rant abt my Absolute Beloveds……… this might get long im sorry but sashisu make me. genuinely insane
OK SO. just generally speaking…… to me, the biggest sashisu appeal is just. how grounded they are. to me. i feel like both jjk trios are very realistic but in different ways!!
like. the 2018 trio are just !! good friends and they care for each other and they have fun together. AND most importantly; they can be open w each other !! like all three of them are a lillll closed off and obviously traumatized but they can still be sincere with one another. yuji talks openly w both megumi and nobara, megumi’s whole arc revolves around him getting comfortable with the idea of leaning on others and being saved by others, and nobara’s whole character hinges on her just being unabashedly herself.
AND I LOVE THEM i really do but sashisu r just so….. different and also similar and they feel so real to me even though theyre all insane in the head.
because contrary to the 2018 trio, theyre all sort of. Cunts pshjdhd. LIKE. high school satoru is a brat and he thinks he can make friends by being a bully and hes kind despite that but hes also sooo infuriating, and suguru acts like hes better but hes rly not. theyre both assholes. same w shoko!! shes literally out here casually underage smoking and all three of them get in trouble n then blame it on each other n its just…. theyre just so fun. they bully each other but u can TELL theres love there.
and the greatest difference between the 2018 and 2006trio is that the former can be open with each other, but the latter cant. sashisu are doomed as a trio because theyre all so closed off and traumatized and repressed and they will never be as sincere with each other as yuji/megumi/nobara are.
and to me, thats the main reason why suguru defects !! not that its their fault, but the fact that they didnt notice — or maybe the fact that they DID notice but didnt know how to broach the subject — is the one factor that makes his defection almost unavoidable to me. because his best friends, his most loved people, were never the type to be vulnerable like that. and neither was he !!
theyre just so DOOMED riko….. suguru couldnt open his heart to satoru or shoko, satoru didnt notice suguru’s silence bc he was too busy making himself strong enough to protect them, and we dont know how shoko felt but she obviously didnt do anything even if she did notice smth was off. neither of them saw how much suguru was suffering, and suguru was extremely depressed and isolated and never once gave them the chance to help him.
the three of them just werent the type to have heartfelt conversations in the same way the other trio does, and i think sashisu just… figured they didnt need to. that they had that bond together and that it would always be enough. bc all three of them have these incredible powers that make them isolated and kind of miserable, but they were able to be kids only when they were together. during that one year, they got to feel that slice of normalcy and genuine friendship.
and then they lost it !! and shoko and satoru both regret it !!! and they were never able to hate suguru, and he was never able to hate them, even at the very end !!! and the thing that always breaks me is that its just so, so evident that they all loved each other. but it wasnt enough !! and i think thats such a …. grounded and real depiction of how it can be to love someone who’s ill, or traumatized, while you yourself are ill or traumatized. and you might love each other, and it might still not be enough. but the fact that the love was there still matters.
they were three child soldiers who only found comfort in each other, and they all crumbled under the weight of the world but even at the very end they still loved each other.
and for sashisu, that love never disappeared — both shoko and satoru became more responsible after suguru left, and together theyre able to protect so many of the students and their coworkers. and theyre still traumatized and arguably even MORE repressed but the two of them still stick together, and theres a comfort in knowing theyll always have that. (im ignoring the current manga arc its not canon to me idc)
THIS IS ALREADY SO LOONNGG i just. i ADORE them. theyre so good. but !! if we’re moving past just general analysis of them then !! i love to think abt…. sashisu x reader……. maybe one day ill finish my sss x reader series psjdjdj but !!!
i just think itd be such a fun n comfortable dynamic ?? bc they all complete each other in a way…. satoru is just kinda hyper n cuddly n sweet, n suguru is calm and teasing n warm…. and shoko is so chill but also so caring and . i Need them. all of them r so gorgeous i would fall to my knees and cry if i just saw them relaxing by the couch.
i feel like a reader dynamic w them would just be the four of u living together and spending the rest of ur lives doing the same things u did in high school….. going to karaoke n getting in trouble and eating food . etc etc. maybe getting a couple cats…. and a bunch of plants that would all die if it werent for suguru pshjdjs.
in conclusion they make me feel ill <3
(also riko…. pls read the pink lighter by nosferatui, its a sashisu fix-it time travel fic and its one of my favorites ever !! i still havent finished it but its complete and it genuinely changed my life the writing is so good it hurts)
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proxythe · 1 month
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hiii can you talk more about Akihiko and Yukari being siblings please?? and perhaps Junpei and Yukari’s dynamic.. and Junpei and Aki’s they are besties I think.
Aki: so I found this cringefail boywife at the convenience store during the dark hour and he will be joining us
Junpei: *wet pathetic noises* 🥹 👋
ofc i can… i love akihiko & yukari’s dynamic. i think it would more start on akihiko’s behalf, not in a sense that he would ever be looking for a “little sister replacement” but in a sense that as an older sibling, the instinct just kicks in without even thinking about it. i think he fills this brotherly role regardless of whether it’s yukari or not, but i personally lean toward them as a duo because i also think they’re already somewhat alike. like u cannot tell me they wouldnt love just talking to each other about basically anything. i would need to finally do my damn replay to properly prove their similarities, but ive made a few small nothing posts about it already. on yukari’s half, i don’t think she would realize it at first bc she doesn’t have siblings, but i think they would gravitate toward each other a lot when lounging around so they chat often… one remark from junpei & yukari is like “ohhhh he kinda IS like an older brother” 😭
yukari and junpei are also like siblings but in a best friend way. it’s hard to explain since akihiko and yukari aren’t siblings either, so i hope u know what i mean lmfaooo. i’d say akihiko and yukari are more in a guidance/protectiveness/advice kind of way, while junpei and yukari are more like youd be surprised they’re not actually related with how much they get on each others nerves all the time and yet still constantly hang out. + they push each others buttons at the worst of times, yet still make up afterward. they’re very sweet lmfao i love their dynamic too. i like to take junpei’s protectiveness over kotone in their social link and extend it to all of his female friends bc it makes so much sense for him to act this way. except with yukari it’s more like he would love making fun of her until it goes a little too far and then he’d be like “alright alright lets relax”. same with yukari except she’d subtly change the subject instead of outwardly stopping any sort of junpei hate. she cant look like she actually cares about her best friend that she hates (affectionate)
as for junpei & akihiko, i think junpei looks up to all of his seniors in a way ?? but it practically boils down to akihiko also being a brotherly figure towards junpei anyways. his brother vibe is just overwhelmingly there. they are best friends tho it’s true. akihiko indulges him in the dumbest of things because why not. akihiko hits him constantly in the stage play and while i dont usually like this as a running gag, if i pretend akihiko is swatting him on the back of the head like an annoying older brother, its perfect. i usually lean toward the junpei/shinjiro brotherly dynamic bc they’re so opposite i love it… junpei and his giant emo older brother is just so beloved by me…
in conclusion, i see mitsuru/akihiko/shinjiro trio as very much older sibling vibes toward their juniors 😭 (yukamitsu is literally my only exception to this)
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