#bc ive always felt that it was too short and too good

[loverboybrightsideghost]

tell me if you wanna go home from begin again as a zoscar song perchance 🤔

[moodr1ng]

taking further weight/fatphobia/ed/general depression vents under readmore lol

cause like i cannot express how genuinely bad the fatphobia i have against myself is. like. when i picture myself in my head, in the future, i always imagine myself as skinny, bc ive lived my entire adult (and teen) life thinking of my body as a temporary impediment which ill eventually fix. early last year i thought i finally had and was so happy and then gained all the weight back. and idk what to do about it bc i have tried so so so hard to just 'accept being fat' and as i have said again i do not understand how that is possible in this society and i have never managed to get anywhere close to that and dont know how to.

and as a result of this i have considered like. every awful awful option out there for losing weight. like, i tried to get my doctor to prescribe me diet pills. i looked into ozempic and the only reason im NOT trying to illegally get some is that its for diabetic people and it harms them to take from the limited supply. i looked into various weight loss surgeries (be it bariatric surgery, which i cant get bc im not fat enough to qualify, or liposuccion but even if i could realistically afford it i hear it doesnt work in the long run). ive starved myself so much, tried so many diets, so many sports, never managed to stay on for long enough to maintain the results. no joke, i have considered developing a heroin or coke habit EXCLUSIVELY to lose weight, and the reason im not doing that is its too expensive. i complain about my adhd meds giving me food disgust but tbh every time it happens im also relieved bc it means i wont be able to eat for a few days. idk what to do anymore bc this is ruining my life and has been ruining my life for most of it.

i literally feel so worthless, ridiculous and unloveable specifically bc of my weight, and in particular the way its disposed on my body. i would be fine having fat arms, fat thighs, i would probably dig having a fat ass and chest and hips tbh! but i store all my fat on my belly and thats the one part i dont want to be fat, as well as my face and neck. this is such a massive block for me tbh. like, when i talk to new people i always feel like theyre looking down on me or find me pathetic because im fat (and bc im short which is my other major insecurity - i feel like being tall and fat is acceptable but not being short and fat). i dont take any compliments i get at face value bc i feel like everyone is just being nice by pretending like i could EVER be good looking. the only time ive ever felt attractive since i was a young teen was when i had lost the weight last year, and i couldnt maintain that bc it was so stringent.

sometimes when i think "i might be fat for the rest of my life and never manage to maintain being thin" i contemplate suicide over it. its like, the one thing about me i can never accept. i used to have so much internalized racism as a kid/young teen but i eventually got over that and came to appreciate my non-white features and even wish i had inherited more of my mothers looks (like her hair). i used to be so insecure about not being masculine enough but today im actually more into being kind of androgynous. i used to hate everything about myself and ive gotten much better about a lot of it. i dont hate my facial features or my hands or my legs or my arms anymore. i just hate my weight. and its the one thing i cant fucking get rid of.

and like, ive tried so hard to just.. look at other people ik with similar body types who i think are super attractive and think "if theyre attractive and they look like me, surely i could be too?" but it never works no matter what. and i mean, ik outside of like, societal fatphobia, a big part of it is my ed right. like obviously as long as i have an ed that is focused on wanting to lose weight im never gonna be able to accept being fat. but i cant get help for my ed bc there are no resources. and there are no medical professionals who will help me accept being fat bc theyre also fatphobic and they only want to help me lose weight, and they cant even manage to do that.

im just extremely tired of it all. every day i wish i was skinny. i can live w all the rest. i just need to be thin. i dont even need to be bone thin or whatever i just wanna be average. and its so fucking hard for so many reasons. i can almost never cook for myself bc of The Mental Shit. if i do cook for myself its rly hard to do anything complicated so its often not very balanced or healthy. and i rely so much on fast food, takeout and frozen meals bc of this inability to cook. and then theres the emotional shit - bc ever since i was little ive binged whenever i felt anything. bored? binge. angry? binge. sad? binge. happy? binge. theres no emotional state that doesnt wanna make me binge. and the only way i can stave it off is like.. either indulge in other vices (drugs alcohol etc) or just. dip into the restriction part of the ed and start starving myself again. and ofc once it becomes unbearable.. more binging. idk. idk. im at a loss. no one can help. and theres so many things piled on top of each other that make everything impossible.

im not even just talking about the weight - i mean everything in my life is like this carefully balanced tower of cards where each bad thing supports another bad thing supporting another bad thing until it builds into this massive self-sustaining network of dysfunction.

its like. i wake up in the morning (still tired from whatever the hell is wrong w my sleep, probably didnt sleep enough or too much, either way feeling bad). my room is a mess and theres fruit flies everywhere bc of the heat and i need to clean, but bc i woke up exhausted and feeling sick i have no energy to. i go get some water and theres a pile of dishes in the sink that are getting grosser and grosser but the idea of washing them is so daunting i cant bring myself to. i need to shower, but showering is such a hard task, and then if i shower i also need to brush my teeth and take care of my hair and thats so much energy. and if i do all that, well, i havent done the laundry in like 2 weeks so i have nothing clean to wear, so if im gonna shower i should do the laundry so i dont just get clean to put on dirty clothes right. and doing the laundry and hanging the stuff to dry is also such a hard task. and then if im clean and wearing clean clothes, am i just gonna get back in my dirty bed? i also need to change the bedsheets, and i hate doing that. and if im gonna change the sheets then i probably should fucking clean the bedroom, right. and i dont have the energy to do literally any of that. so im dirty, my room is dirty, my kitchen is dirty, i feel like shit, im tired, i havent eaten anything yet. maybe a decent meal would help. but a meal means cleaning some pot and pan to cook stuff in. and then it means cleaning it again after im done cooking, and also cleaning the dishes. and fucking hell i cant do that. so i think, maybe ill go to the convenience store and get a sandwich. but that means i need to get dressed and do my hair and i probably smell bed and i cant just go out like this and im SO TIRED. so i go to order takeout. and sure i could get something fresh and healthy like a poke bowl or something, but thatll cost me like 25 bucks, and i could just get a burger and fries for 10. so i get that. and i dont feel any better, because ive been eating carbs, sugar, and some shitty processed meat near-exclusively for the past several years. and im so tired and feel so awful and so guilty and so gross, so i just start smoking and drinking. maybe if im lucky ill do some art or whatever. and thats how my day goes and then ill go to sleep in my unchanged sheets unshowered laundry undone room dirty dishes piled up. have a bunch of nightmares wake up drenched in sweat etc. and do the same thing tomorrow.

and idk how to fix any of this bc its a cycle right. like where do i start? i feel like i cant do anything bc everything is SO heavy SO tiring SO daunting and im just so exhausted. i want to sleep for 10 years. i want to be happy again. but whenever im not happy i forget how it felt to be happy. so theres nothing to look forward to. and then i think about killing myself again. and thats just how it goes.

ig thats why im so so hopeful to actually get an at-home aid who can get me to do chores and get groceries and shit bc that might actually be the one thing that breaks the cycle, cause i definitely cant do it by myself.

[con-clavi-con-jae]

The awaited Polyvessels winter solstice celebration fic no one wanted.

This ended up just being me throwing every thought I've had recently about them into a fic, but I see nothing wrong with that. It's kinda inspired by a post @ghxstly-death made.

Warnings? Kinda? Basically there's like a small bit where Ves and III get caught doing some not holy activities but it's literally just two not at all explicit lines, idk. (Also III is trans bc I can)

21st of December, 4:30 in the morning.

Vessel was already up, which isn't surprising for him. Except this time, it wasn't for any kind of nightmare or suffering. He was excited, extatic even, to start the celebration. Today was the first day of winter. Tonight would be the longest night of the year, the one night where Sleep is at Her highest power, and can reach out to them the most.

Vessel ran down to the living room with the candle he'd made for Sleep, and sat down on the couch, thinking up his first offering. It had to be something special, since it was the most important day of the year. He felt Her hands on his shoulders, whispering to him about how grateful She was to have such devoted followers. With a wide grin under his mask, Vessel looked out the window. It's still snowing, a perfect day to rest, give out offerings, and show how grateful they were to their Lady of Dreams for the year that had passed.

Vessel lit the candle and looked intently at the flame, taking deep breaths. Then, he started the prayer. It was quiet, he always preferred to pray in silence when he was alone. He then set everything up for his offerings of the day, and took a short nap on the couch.

A few hours later, II woke up and went down to the living room, waking Vessel up with a kiss and blowing the candle out, "Good morning, sweet thing. Did you sleep well?" He sat down next to his partner, petting his hair as he wakes up, "I hope She didn't keep you up too long."

Vessel sat up, holding II close to his body and feeling the warmth of his partner's body, it was all he wanted to concentrate in, but he had his duties, and II had theirs. It's not fair to keep them occupied... but II's hair was soft and smelled good, Vessel just wanted to keep his face buried in it and forget about all his troubles. Still, Sleep needed his devotion, he loved serving Her, and he would do so as needed. Vessel kissed II's lips quickly and went to the altar room, mixing up the dried herbs for their first ritual of the day.

II, meanwhile, decided to cook up a nice, elaborate breakfast for his boys, as well as the first offering of the day. The presence of Sleep could be felt, everywhere. As II started up the cooking, he lit the candle he kept in the kitchen and thanked Her for everything She did for all of them. IV and Vessel had gone to buy some groceries that week, so II had a wide array of ingredients for his cooking, another thing they were grateful of. They decided to make some French toast, orange juice and scrambled eggs, something special for this special occasion. As he tossed the ingredients on the pan, making quick work of it all, they murmured intentions and incantations only loud enough for Sleep to hear them, expressing gratefulness and asking for a safe winter.

As the rest woke up, III made his way to the altar room, and IV to the kitchen.

III walked up behind Vessel, his hands on his boyfriend's shoulders taking the man out of his work. As Vessel turned around, he was entranced by the way the candles lit all around the room made III's dark skin look as golden as the small lip ring he wore, his now short red hair tied up in a bun. III was always so enticing, Vessel could gaze at him for hours and never get tired. "You're staring again, love," the taller man giggled, resting his chin on Vessel's shoulder, "what are you doing anyway?"

"Just making some incense... they're drying, actually," Vessel responded in a calm manner, trying to focus on the offering. They were six small cones and four bigger ones, and contained orange peel, cinnamon, cloves, ginger and sandalwood, among other things. "When they're dry after breakfast, we can light one."

The sparkle in Vessel's eyes when he worked on his offerings always filled III's heart with love, just needing to get it out by kissing all over his boyfriend's mask and holding him tight.

Meanwhile in the kitchen, IV tiredly made his way in and dropped his head onto II's shoulder, groaning at the amount of light and all the noise outside.

"Good morning, Ivy. Slept well?" II asked softly, getting another groan he assumed was a yes from IV, "good. Wanna help me set the table?" IV shook his head no at II's question, burying his face into his partner's neck. "Alright then. Call the boys, will you?"

IV sighed, kissing his way down II's neck, humming tiredly as II set the table, still unable to speak and not wanting to let go of his love.

"Ivy, go look for Vessel and III, and maybe I'll make you some coffee, okay?" II asked, sweet but stern, and IV finally let go of him to go look for the others.

IV made his way up to the altar room, slamming the door open and finding a rather enticing view. III sat on Vessel's desk, his thigh over the other man's shoulder as he kneeled on the floor. "Ahem, guys, II wants you to go down, but not in that way..." IV teased, blushing and looking away with a playful smile.

When they noticed their boyfriend standing at the doorway, Vessel and III pulled away and got themselves fixed up, walking out the door looking at the floor in attempt to avoid IV's eyes.

In the kitchen, II had set up a table full of all the things he knew his boys loved, a red candle in the middle lighting up the room.

"You really didn't have to, II... you're so sweet, come here~" III grabbed the shorter vessel by the hand and kissed him in between soft laughs, meanwhile Vessel sat down and started the prayer.

"Our sweet Lady of Dreams, bless us in this cold day, as the dark nights start and Your power reaches farther than ever, we thank You for Your protection, and hope You can get us through the darkness." Vessel recited, his voice full of hope and devotion as he held on to the others' hands.

"And the night comes down like heaven," the rest responded, before excitedly digging into their food while they chatted about their plans for the day.

"So, what's everyone thankful for this year?" II started, taking a long sip of the juice in his glass, "I, for one, am grateful for getting nominated four times for drummer of the year."

"Self-centered much?" III teased, kicking him lightly under the table and getting into a little war with II, stepping and kicking at each other's feet, "well I am grateful for how the band's been growing. All of us."

Vessel and IV shared a look, rolling their eyes at their partners' childish antics. "I'm just happy that we get to spend the solstice together at home, at the very least. With all the tours, it's a miracle we even get alone time anymore." IV sighed contently as he ate his sweet food, the strong taste of cinnamon weirdly reminiscent of all the years they've done this together. "What about you, Ves?"

Vessel froze. What is he thankful for? What did he do this year that the others hadn't mentioned? The band was his only big accomplishment, and he didn't know what exactly could count as his anyway. He spoke up quieter than the rest, "I'm just glad to have you guys... I'm not... entirely sure if I've done anything worth it besides writing and all..." his hand grabbed the fork tightly, stabbing at the eggs on his plate absentmindedly. Then, he felt III and IV grab his hands, and II shot him a worrying look.

"Love, you've done so much more than that... you're just such a beautiful human, I wish you could see that." II's voice was stern yet dripping with love, their eyes looking into Vessel's as the others held him. Vessel heard Sleep's encouraging whispers all around him, and it all combined made him smile as he thought back on his year again.

"I'm grateful that I have you and our fans to support me through my healing. It's been a hard year, and I couldn't have done it without you." Vessel finally got slightly louder, his voice more secure and his posture straighter. They were all happy for this, seeing Vessel get better, all of them getting better, it was all they could ever ask for.

Rituals went by, the morning was peaceful, and in the evening, they all sat in the living room together. Incense brunt as IV sat next to the coffee table, stabbing cloves into slices of dried orange to make them look like little suns and tying thread around it. He wore a hoodie that was probably stolen from Vessel, as it was tight around the chest but reached around his mid-thigh, and was bundled up in a cozy blanket he shared with II. The shorter Vessel, in turn, sat on the couch right behind him and wrote down all his intentions for the next year. Their hair was tied and they had his tongue out, a soft sight that made all the boys instantly warm inside.

Meanwhile, III and Vessel sat on the couch together. Vessel strummed on his guitar and III hummed some of their older songs, memories of the beginning of the band flooding his mind and making him nostalgic. He'd been having thoughts about his life, what he wanted to do with it, and the future of his relationship with his partners, and it just all came out of him without a warning. "Do you guys think we should get a child?" He suddenly spoke up, not knowing where that comment had come from.

"And how exactly would we procure this child?" Vessel softly asked, not fully against the idea but not sure if he'd do a good job at caring for a kid, "we practically don't exist, so we can't adopt, and you're the only one with the right 'equipment' for it..." IV laughed loudly at the comment as he stood up to hang the decorations he'd made.

"Well I, for one, think that's a beautiful idea if you'd be all up for it." II mused as he passed III the notepad with his intentions, "you could write that for next year, if we all agree?" They looked at IV, who nodded excitedly, and then back at Vessel.

After a bit of thinking, Vessel agreed. "If that's the will of our Lady, then I don't see how it's a bad idea." He assured calmly as he watched III write it down with his messy handwriting.

The notepad got passed around, stories from their past dreams were shared, and it all was shaping up to be a beautiful celebration.

"Wait but what does it mean to dream that some guy I never met dies to save me?" IV groaned as he laid on the floor, his dark hair splayed out, "like, do I just... feel helpless perhaps?"

Vessel wrote all that down on IV's dream journal, thinking about all the possible meanings that could have, "that's a good one. Or maybe you sacrifice parts of yourself for others?" He wondered while his hand stayed buried in III's curly hair, all three of them relaxing when II came in with cups of hot chocolate. "Thanks, honey... sit here, please?"

II rolled his eyes, laying on Vessel's lap as the four of them kept chatting and finishing up their dream journals for tonight's most special ritual.

II finished first, as usual, so he went outside to the garden to start up the fire to cook the food. They'd made sure to get the highest quality ingredients for tonight, since his cooking was an offering, and this night, Sleep deserved the best of the best. The fire rose and II cooked up a nice stew for himself and his lovers, to keep them warm during the cold winter night.

When Vessel finished, he got out to sit by II, wrapped up in a blanket, his head on his partner's shoulder as he hummed softly, letting the fire and II's soft touch warm him up.

"You look tired, love. You sure you wanna stay up tonight?" II whispered lovingly as he pet Vessel's hair. The taller man nodded, quiet and probably asleep by now. II laughed at this and covered his love in the blanket as he kept checking the stew. It'd be done in one more hour.

Meanwhile inside, III and IV laid together on the couch, a quiet conversation going on between them before IV broke the comfortable silence. "I have a question, my flower... why did you ask that now? About the kid, I mean." III's eyes widened at this, but he looked away, uncomfortably avoiding the topic, so IV decided to explain himself first, "I promise I'm not mad, it's just... it's a weird time to ask that, y'know?"

III sighed, burying his face into IV's chest and kissing him softly, "I suppose this last tour just gave me a lot to think about, my life, our future together..." III blushed as he explained this, not really knowing how to.

IV cut him off with a kiss, caressing his hair lovingly, "well, I believe we'd make gorgeous kids, and you'd be a great parent. So we're good." III grinned widely, getting on top of IV and kissing all over his face. They were both just insanely happy to be back together, alone, after all this time.

Their sudden kiss assault was interrupted by II calling out to them, the food was ready. They both ran outside, holding their dream journals and putting on warm matching sweaters, which Vessel and II also had on. The boys were already sitting by the fire under a blanket, so III and IV joined them and grabbed their plates as Vessel started another prayer.

"Lady of Dreams, protector of the night, we offer You our thoughts and all that we are, and You save us from the dangers of this mortal realm. All we dream, it is for You, and all You give us is sacred." With that, Vessel collected all their journals, as well as the page with all their intentions for the year to come, and tossed it all into the fire.

"The night comes down like heaven," they all said together and sat back on the floor, wrapped in the warm blanket and feeling each other's bodies pressed against their own. It was a special night, and the thing they were all the most grateful for, is being together at last.

[benny-the-spaceman]

smthn ive been thinking about a lot more recently is how much symbolism not just tlm 1 but tlm 2 have in relations to outliers or ppl who are different in society and how theyre treated or how they treat others. this has been explained to death by ppl much more eloquent than me for tlm 1, but i don't see it get discussed as much with tlm 2, which is probably just me not looking as hard as i could but i still feel like talking about it because it means a lot to me (more under the cut bc it's a rambling kinda night)

one thing with tlm 2 that i noticed pretty recently (like earlier today recently) is how "the oppressed" in a sense become "the oppressor" and, from personal experience, that feels a lot like how older generations of oppressed groups treat younger generations when they dont assimilate. im only going to speak from my own experience, because i know how often this type of stuff can vary from person to person but as someone with mental disabilities and as someone who's japanese-american, there's so many similarities between how the other master builders treated emmet in tlm 2 and how older generations have treated me and other people I know. like when emmet was being cheery and, well, himself, the other master builders and townspeople shunned him, because they learned that acting like themselves was bad and would hurt them. Similarly, i always learned that idea of "being yourself" or "embracing your culture", but as i got older all of a sudden the same people tell me i cant, or that it's dangerous, or weak, or dumb, or lazy, etc etc because they were taught that through their experiences. And as much as it can be understood why theyd want to do that, most of the time they feel like it's protecting you, just like how the master builders felt telling emmet to toughen up was protecting him, it often just hurts you. In my case, it created a huge disconnect between me and my culture that I'm still working to fix and it's made me only very recently realize how much of myself ive hidden or dont understand because of the disorders I have. I think it's all part of why emmet as a character resonates with so many people, myself included. He's really the best example of how suppressing individuality can hurt someone, and him going against that and showing that being himself is ok is something that's almost healing in a way. It rly feels like he's telling us that we can do that too! that being ourselves isnt something to be ashamed of or hidden and that hiding those parts of ourselves hurts us more than it helps!!

Long story short, emmet's character, in the 1st movie of course but in 2nd movie especially, really resonates with me, both as someone with mental disorders/disabilities and as a 2nd generation japanese immigrant. those themes of suppressing yourself to fit in and being told constantly that was the only way to be safe really hits different when youve been told similar things your whole life. It's part of why i cry when i watch both movies, because emmet's character understands that in a way i could never articulate before. He's rly a masterfully written character, and he deserves all the love he gets for being such

Anyways that's the end of my little ramble, have a cookie for making it this far 🍪 and have a good day/night 🫶

[slamminslamminmcgill]

k not to be a whore on main but something something the weather is really fucking hot and its uncomfortable to sleep in anything other than like. a pair of shorts. something something lalo sees u and bbg its fucking OVER for u.

or or or uhhhh this ones more self indulgent bc ive got a disgusting case of praise kink with an added dose of touch starved, big r.i.p if its not ur jam, but lalo coaxing and reassuring you to let go, you're so tired and sweaty and vulnerable, he'd hold you close bro like he just would, bonus points if its after going at it hard.

ok and last one i promise but dont tell me that man wouldnt get drunk with you at a bar and then fuck you in an alleyway on the way home. thank u and i hope ur doing well. hope this is what u meant by prompts.

HI THESE ARE ALL RLY GOOD BUT THE LAST ONE???? BRAIN DAMAGE

warning: intox (alcohol)

Lalo wanted to take you out for drinks, and he spared no expense. He took you to some ritzy lounge that felt way above your pay grade. You'd commented on how expensive the drinks were, but he told you not to look at the prices. Get whatever you like, whatever sounded good. He'd take care of you. He always did, much to your annoyance sometimes.

You were slumped against him in a red leather booth, one arm draping over his shoulders, the other one "subtly" palming his cock through his pants as you begged him for another round. His next words broke you.

"I think you've had enough, chiquito."

"What?! N-No..." You whined, pathetically, before clearing your throat and trying to sound less desperate. "Haha... I mean... Nah, man, c'mon... I'm good. I'm so good. I can take it." You squeezed his bulge and leaned in even closer, your hot breath against his ear smelling like pineapple and kidney damage. "I can take a lot, you know..."

Lalo chuckled and shook his head. "Can you even stand up by yourself?"

"Pshhh, absolutely!" You scoffed and peeled yourself off of him. Lalo stepped out of the booth to let you out. You scooted across the seat, turned forward, and stood up. Predictably, you stumbled, and grabbed on to Lalo's shirt for balance.

Lalo sighed warmly, enamored by how silly you got when you were intoxicated. You were so cute. So helpless. "Yep. That's what I thought. C'mon, we're getting out of here." He fished for his wallet and left a substantial wad of cash on the table. His arm hooked around your waist as he walked you out of the bar.

You were drunk, yes, but not too drunk to know the way home. When he made a sharp left as soon as you walked past the bar, you were confused. Why was he taking you into a dark alley? "Hey... We don't live here..."

"I know, mijo. But don't worry." In a flash, he whipped his body around and shoved you against the brick wall. His lips were on your neck, draining you of what little inhibition you had left, and his hands were already sneaking down your pants. "You said you could take a lot, right?"

[thesherrinfordfacility]

sideburn theory strikes again

idk if its just that i have been fully driven around the bend by this show or is this is Big Brain special, but if all fails this is the lore of a crossover you might not have known you wanted.

so i posted way back in the bygone era of pre-s2 that i felt that there was something potentially behind the different sideburn lengths in the trailer and first promos, and my darling @theeminentlyimpractical added into this, plus the added spot of crowley's sunglasses changing. now this appears to have been debunked by further s2 content (and indeed s2 in its entirety), because there didn't appear to be rhyme nor reason to the sideburns, but there was to the sunglasses. so we kinda left it alone (although people keep rb'ing the original theory, frankly god knows why).

now we kinda came up with some explanation for this, which ive summarised in this ask earlier, but then. then. we saw this brilliant observation by @rebeccasteventaylor, and thought - well, fuck it, let's take another look.

note: reference screenshots of nearly every crowley scene, per episode, at end of post.

so main observations so far:

crowley seems to exclusively wear the silver sunglasses in ep1 and ep2

then switches to the new grey sunglasses from ep3 onwards

he has a mix of long and short sideburns ep1 to ep4, and switches sideburn lengths in those eps between scenes

then seems to exclusively have long sideburns in the 'second half'* ep5, and in ep6.

then i have the following thoughts from both seasons:

we know that crowley is a singular demon in that he has an imagination

we know that he is pretty powerful, including the ability to stop and hold time

there are indeed plenty of doctor who references which - absolutely, may be an innocent homage to david tennant - but seem so pointed in s2 that it's almost unnerving

two quotes! first: "if any harm comes to aziraphale because of this, i will... oh, it doesn't matter, it's too late for that now, isn't it?... its always too late."

second: "i know... looking at/working out where the furniture isn't..."

the crow road by Iain Banks is introduced at the very end of s2, being read by muriel, and has very prominent features on screen when metatron asks them about it. crow road plot involves the main character piecing together notes/sketches left by their late uncle. (by the by, very purposeful feature in s2 that aziraphale keeps multiple diaries, and can sketch real good - including specifically a picture of gabriel)

now, before i start parsing out the theory (though tbh, by this point, i imagine you can see where im going with this), i will add that as i said in the above linked ask, im fully on board with the sideburn thing being bc of AP/confines of filming in COVID, and so it may just be a detail that had to slide or was missed. but that isn't as fun as putting on the tinfoil hat.

the main thing for me is that the long sideburns seem to consistently appear on screen after aziraphale and crowley talk in justine's restaurant in ep5*. once crowley goes over to the bookshop to confront gabriel, the long sideburns seem to remain. this is also where crowley appears to be at his angriest which, tbh, is kind of at odds with how he seemed to speak about and treat gabriel in ep3 and ep4.

let's start with ep3 (ill come back to ep1 and ep2*). in the vavoom scene, crowley almost seems quite chummy towards gabriel, perhaps slightly condescending, but warmer than he is after shax arrives. now, shax turning up to remind crowley of the stakes involved (ie threat to aziraphale) is completely trackable against how crowley then speaks to gabriel afterwards. but it is this quote that has baffled me slightly:

"if any harm comes to aziraphale because of this, i will... oh, it doesn't matter, it's too late for that now... its always too late."

and the reason it baffles me is because... well, i don't really get what crowley is talking about? he's rescued aziraphale on plenty of occasions, and seems to always be in the nick of time (or stopping it, if you consider 1793), and aziraphale has previously rescued crowley back with impeccable timing.

aziraphale hasn't actually come to much harm in any of the story we've seen so far; the only time crowley wasn't on time was with the bookshop fire, and whilst that was resolved, it would match up with what crowley's saying about being too late... but 'always too late'? ie, more than once? seems like there's been a pattern where crowley is too late.

the other thought i had on this is that crowley says "too late" in reference to saving morag in the same episode (but in the resurrectionist minisode within) but that was on aziraphale himself for dithering - why would crowley talk about it? so it seems to me that there are other instances where crowley himself has been too late to save aziraphale. the only time i really think this happens, where aziraphale ends up in danger, is the Domestic at the end of ep6 when crowley is too late to tell aziraphale how he feels - which probably would have influenced his decision to stay and not walk willingly into the clutches of the metatron... but in the s2 narrative, that hasn't happened yet.

furthermore, @theeminentlyimpractical brought up this little detail up from the book:

which doesn't necessarily mean anything in this theory's context, that crowley has one of his watch's clocks programmed to hell's timezone, but appears to be a detail specifically related to crowley nonetheless; futile fight, helplessness, the concept of always being Too Late.

the last thing however to mention about ep3 is that there appears to be a very clear before and after where the sideburns are concerned. where muriel turns up, and crowley and aziraphale talk in the back-back room, crowley is sporting shorter sideburns. but after aziraphale leaves, crowley comes down from upstairs carrying books, and has longer sideburns. i don't necessarily have any explanation for this, but do observe that it seems quite deliberate for the episode that he has the longer ones once aziraphale leaves, and continuing into ep4 when aziraphale comes back from edinburgh.

ep5 however, crowley arrives on whickber street, and is back with ye old short sideburns again. the only time this changes in the beginning half(ish)* is when he and aziraphale visit Arnold's. once again, don't really have any theoretical explanation for this, but one thing i will say is that when crowley and aziraphale approach the archway/alley that goes to Arnold's (just after "can i watch?"), they're in step with each other... but when aziraphale gets to the window, he's alone for a good few seconds and crowley doesn't appear - he might be out of shot, but then does appear just as aziraphale enters the shop... just an odd amount of time to have not followed aziraphale to the window.

in any case, crowley then follows around, gets waylaid and epiphany-slapped by nina, gets somewhat pissed in justine's, and then heads over to the bookshop. where he next appears upstairs, and suddenly sporting long sideburns again. it then seems somewhat pointed that this is where he really lays in to gabriel - now, contributory factors here are he's just been hit with the realisation that he loves aziraphale and aziraphale loves him, and he's probably about five sheets to the wind.

but it's particularly venomous and angry which - yeah, tracks - but i wonder if this is in response to something more? that crowley has more to be angry at gabriel over, more to be resentful of, than just that gabriel's presence in the bookshop could bring harm to aziraphale, and gabriel's involvement in the botched execution?

add to this, the line that we're all losing our heads over?

"i know... looking at/working out where the furniture isn't..." (subtitles conflict on amazon re: the first bit vs what im personally hearing, but neil has confirmed it's at least 'where the furniture isn't.')

now this all relates in the conversation back to gabriel's analogy of his missing memory feeling like a house with missing furniture, and trying to work out what in fact is missing. many have speculated that crowley might have gone through the same predicament of forcibly losing his memory (and s2 certainly does set it up like that), but i do wonder if it in fact twists that crowley is actually investigating the missing furniture, piecing together his own clues?

his tone being resigned and bitchy, even mocking, could well just be him laying on gabriel again, or indeed he could be empathising because he too has lost his memories, or because he's in the same boat and trying to piece things together... just, not in the same way?

so let's come back to what im actually getting at here; does crowley expand on his time-stopping powers, and does he essentially step back into his own timeline? and has to piece it together à la crow road?

was there an alternative timeline that still resulted in aziraphale going to heaven, but under different circumstances, and crowley comes back to change it to no avail, and that's where we leave s2? or, in this aborted (?) timeline, does aziraphale get got by hell, or gets taken out of the BOL (and falls?), crowley is trying to work out how/why, tracks it back through to the events we see in s2, ends up helping to hide gabriel (eg. he comes back after the So Did I argument), but then that leads down the path of losing aziraphale to heaven anyway, just in a different way? "it's always too late"?

now, don't let it be said that i won't poke holes in my own theory, because this is absolutely crazy and relatively baseless... and is so easily explained as just being One Of Those Filming Things (i simply felt it was slightly remiss to not mention these thoughts floating in my noggin).

the main issue of course is that *ep1 and ep2 are literally a mess where this theory is concerned. there are some short/long sideburn differences that can't be explained away, because the scenes literally follow in succession to each other - eg. ep1 goes from leaving the coffee shop (short), to the gabriel reveal (long), to So Did I (short again). another eg. ep2 goes from leaving the pub (long), to the walk across the road (short), to the job segue (long again). i could try to explain this with "oh crowley stopped time and switched", but that would probably be a bit of a cop out, however possible it might technically be within the narrative.

i don't even really know where to leave this off, but im still just of the mind that for a show where attention to detail is Everything (take the neil ask about the records, for example; he immediately spotted that the holes weren't right for jukebox compatibility, but they had to accept it as a good regardless), this feels like a pretty Big Goof?

alternatively yes, it might be AP whereupon david was going into another job fairly shortly after reshoot work was needed, or there were COVID related filming issues, but a) seems like a lot of reshoot work/pickups, and b) couldnt they have just trimmed the 'burns/be able to fake the length? idk but my brain is scrambled and im so confused.

screenshots!

S/L (red) - short/long sideburns, S/G (grey) - silver/grey sunglasses

episode one:

episode two:

episode three:

episode four:

episode five:

episode six:

[moodycarcass]

Tagged by @dexaroth for lil tag game. of which i am not immune to.

🔺 Favorite Color:

Full saturation red, Lime green, Black, & Steel blue/gray

🔺 Last song played:

Spring is coming with a strawberry in the mouth by Caroline polachek. i also rlly enjoy the song coma by her

🔺Currently reading:

The dead zone by stephen king, i picked it out of my book stash when the power went out from like. 8pm to 2am, very little into it and i misplaced it somewhere but i have liked what i've read so far.

continued below

the last thing i read before it was The Resurrectionist: The Lost Work of Dr. Spencer Black which is a faux biography / speculative biology anatomical artbook i got for christmas or my birthday back in like 2015/2016 and mainly used to just try and copy the illustrations, it was a short read and the story was ok, the concept of a victorian doctor ruining his entire life because he sees a freakshow rogue taxidermy of a satyr and immediately develops an ideology around human beings actually evolving from these mythical creatures and that you can reverse engineer them by sewing animal parts onto people is kinda funny ngl.

🔺Currently craving:

it was chocolate cake n already made some earlier tonight. and now i have absolutely no desire to touch the rest of the entire cake i made bc i dont actually like chocolate that much u_u

🔺 Coffee or tea:

coffee. i drink like 2 cups of it a day just bc i think its tasty. i was however, still raised in the south and am hopeless dependent on iced sweet tea ESPECIALLY if it has shitloads on lemon in it.

🔺 Favorite animal:

Pigs/boars, alligators, domestic cats, hamsters, most ungulates, flamingos, slugs & snails, ect

🔺 Favorite time of day:

early early morning right as the sun rises. i have crippling life long insomnia and the day break has always felt like a release from the tossing and turning and sleep deprivation induced self hatred.

i am still a volatile murderous cunt if im woken up before i choose to get up tho.

🔺 Favorite cloud pattern:

Stratus :)

🔺 Last dumb mistake in a game:

from like early july but i fucked around cleaning the base too long in voices of the void and had to complete my hash code run at night and a fossilhound spawned in front of xray and i straight up ran that damn thing over with the atv because it tanked my frames and got beaten to death before alt + f4ing out of fear

🔺 One cool thing that happened this week:

mm. idk havent had much happen this week. ive made some good as food lately. namely salmon cakes and crab rangoon if that counts

tagging: ??? idk anyone who wants to do this. i think krem is back on here for a minute?? snom and lex also if either of you read this

[dappledpaintbrush]

wow, looks like you can do an essay about Dimentio.

What do you think of the other characters?

For me in "short"

Tippi: The protagonist of the story and got her happy ending, I came to miss her presence after the end.

Count Bleck: Definitely one of Mario's best written villains. I cry.

Nastasia: I was in her place, I empathized a lot with her and sometimes I wish she would return in other stories.

O'chunks: I was surprised by her story, I didn't expect that background, for me he is a himbo in a good way. A good guy.

Mimi: I can't say the same with Mimi, a little disappointed, but at least there are headcanons.

Mr. L: Definitely wasted potential, I would have liked to see more with the other minions. It's weird if I got a penny for every time Luigi is hypnotized into being an enemy I'd have two cents, which isn't much but it's weird that it happens twice.

Dimentio: It's thanks to him that I have an obsession with Jesters, he managed to do what Bowser couldn't with just a snap of his fingers. Terrifying, I hope one day we see it again.

OMG YAYAYAYAYAY IVE BEEN WANTING THIS ASK

Okay so. I’ll try not to make this unbearably long. But this game is my special interest so. I apologize in advance. (I turned off reblogs bc reblogging asks removes the read more) (and it’s gonna clog people’s feed) (this IS unbearably long) (I Failed)

Tippi:

Omg I miss Tippi too :( it feels so weird playing the game without her.

Tippi is so . so interesting. All of the characters are interesting, but I especially love the way she’s written. I love how they were able to nail that she’s gentle and caring, but also firm and not about to put up with anybody’s bullshit. To me, that’s hard to write without it feeling disengenuine, and they pulled it off with Tippi VERY well. A particular line of hers I really like is, “Perhaps...my life would have been more carefree without you, that is true,” in response to Blumiere’s, “But I have caused you so much suffering..." She didn’t immediately console him. She told him the truth, as harsh as it was. Idk, that scene had just always stuck out to me. It’s not a line I expected to be written.

I wish her unexplained teleportation powers were. Explained. But that doesn’t really mess up her character so it’s okay. However. I hate how she developed a crush on Mario. I’ve always hated it. I like to pretend it’s not real LMAO. But then again, it can be interpreted in a deeper way- that she didn’t actually have a crush on Mario and she was merely projecting onto him. Her memory was flooding back to her and she was in a very vulnerable situation after all. Projecting those feelings for an, at the time, unknown individual onto Mario makes sense.

I love Tippi dude she rocks she’s my favorite forever and ever and ever

-

Count Bleck:

where do I even begin on Count Bleck good lord. One of Nintendo’s best villains even outside of the Mario franchise. God he’s so fucking good.

I wish it was more clear whether or not he was planning on erasing Team Bleck from existence as well. Whether or not he was going to do that that impacts his character HEAVILY. Him wanting all worlds to end but sparing the people who cared about him really helps his “redemption” and helps us have more sympathy for him. Unfortunately it’s not directly touched on outside of that one thing Dimentio said, but. It’s Dimentio LMFAOOO we can’t trust him. I personally lean more towards Bleck was going to betray the team just given the evidence about it. I yapped a lot about my reasoning IN A POST I CANT FIND. It had a bunch of screenshots and stuff and I can’t. Fucking. Find it. Oh well I guess that’s just GONE ❤️

Despite this I feel like it’s important to address Bleck with nuance. I don’t think he intentionally planned on betraying his team. I think he genuinely loved them. But he was so caught up in the Dark Prognosticus and the Void and Timpani and ultimately BEING this Count Bleck character the book spoke of that he felt like there was no way out of it anymore. This is supported by the fact he tried to fight Mario in the final battle despite knowing Timpani was still alive. It’s clear Blumiere had completely lost himself, as if he forgot why he was doing this in the first place and let Count Bleck take over (note: I mean this in a symbolic/psychological sense; I don’t believe the book was controlling him). It’s only when he’s on his death bed that he realizes he does not have to do this.

I put redemption in quotation marks because. I don’t think he was redeemed. Granted he didn’t have enough time to do anything, but to be honest, I don’t think he or any other member of Team Bleck is redeemable (before anybody comes at me with the lament au/ajl, THE POINT IS THAT DIMENTIO IS NOT REDEEMABLE NO MATTER HOW HARD HE TRIES!! YOU CANNOT REDEEM THE EXTERMINATION OF LIFE ITSELF!!!)

Also he’s a goofy guy. He’s just a dad

Thoughts thoughts THOUGHTS THOUGHTS THOUGHTS

-

Nastasia:

NASTASIA COME BACK TO ME. God I wish they kept her emo hair strand.

Her character is so. so sad (I feel like I’ve said that sentence forty seven times, this game is MISERABLE). I love her so much. I love her confidence, I love how she doesn’t take bullshit from anyone, I love how much she loves. It makes me so fucking sad how depressed she remains long after Blumiere’s sacrifice. Like, we don’t know how much time passed between the ending of the game and Mario returning (when you boot up the save file again, Merlon states that it has been a while since he’s seen Mario). It explains why Mimi and O’Chunks seem fine (I’m sure they’re not fine, but I mean it explains why they were able to have a “normal” conversation with Mario and co.), but Nastasia is still so heartbroken.

Of course that is to be expected, and I’m glad Nintendo didn’t make everything all sunshine and rainbows ooo we’re all happy now etc, even IF a long time has passed. It makes total sense that there are repercussions to experiencing a traumatic event and Nastasia portrays it well (for a Mario game). In her epilogue dialogue, her hope for better days is shallow. It’s fake. She shows how she truly feels and immediately backtracks (“I guess I should be happy... I mean, I am, but, um...”). She still wants to put on that confident and secure exterior, but it’s not working. She will always love Blumiere, and she will always miss him. I hope she finds happiness one day, too. She deserves to live her own life.

-

O’Chunks:

O’CHUNKS IS SO UNDERRATED. FUCK

I know I’m contributing to this I barely post about him but lord he’s so interesting. I know the Japanese and English translation tell different versions of his backstory, but I really like the English version where Blumiere manipulated him in his extremely depressed state to join him. It gives more layers to Blumiere’s character- the lengths he was willing to go to get this job done, lengths that he would have never gone to before losing Timpani (and himself).

O’Chunks has one of the most unforgiving backstories in the whole games and it’s rarely talked about. He was a fucking COMMANDER OF AN ARMY and the whole game he’s just played off as some dumb brute/comic relief. I actually believe he suffered some kind of brain damage from that final battle, explaining his eyes, his struggle to speak properly, and his overall behavior. Also, the fact one of his most trusted advisors betrayed him mirrors his relationship with Dimentio. JUST. GOD . RIPS HAIR OUT. I wouldn’t blame him if he never trusted anybody again after the events of the game. But he clearly has a heart of gold beneath that rough exterior, so I doubt that mindset would come to pass

Also I know it’s not this deep like at All but . Regarding O’Chunks and his backstory, the last war fought in Scotland was the Battle of Culloden in 1746. The Scots lost that battle too, so it fits O’Chunks backstory. It’s funny to imagine he’s hundreds of years old and he just Stopped Aging once he joined the “Mario Dimension” for lack of a better term LMAO. Side note, I also believe Blumiere lost Timpani centuries ago- especially considering the Ancients are extinct by the time the game takes place (although I’ve heard it’s possible Blumiere murdered the entire Tribe of Darkness? but that’s ambiguous) (and my feelings on it would be another yapping session so I’ll shut up for now). It just took THAT long to get the criteria for the Void met. So it’s interesting to think of the concept that O’Chunks and Blumiere have known each other for THAT long. Probably why he sent O’Chunks out to fight the heroes first. He trusted him the most. But then again, I know the game did not intend for O’Chunks to be born in the 1700s lol. Like I said it’s just interesting for me :3

-

Mimi:

MIMIMIMIMIMIMIMIMIMI!!!! MY GIRL!!!!

I agree with you- her backstory is disappointing compared to characters like O’Chunks and Dimentio. But at the same time I enjoy the unknown. After all, she is the embodiment of mystery. Her whole shtick is mimicking. You never know if a character is truly themselves or it’s a copy (I mean, you do- her mannerisms are obvious- but still lmao)- hell, even SHE canonically loses herself sometimes in her mimics. But even then, I wish we knew more about her. AND I WISH THE CONCEPT OF HER BEING A FAILED PIXL WAS TALKED ABOUT MORE? WHAT??????? HELLO????? REMINDERRRR that you can’t just go about making Pixls. That was a practice for the Ancients, and the ONLY reason Merlon could do it is because he is a descendant of the Ancients with a shit ton of their books. How old is Mimi? How much has she seen? If she’s centuries or even thousands of years old- depending on how long ago you think the Ancients died out- what was she doing this whole time??? LIKE HELLO!!! MIMI!! SPEAK TO ME!!!!

I love love LOVE LOVE LOVE how she can be used as a parallel to the Pixl Queen in regards to Dimentio. Dimentio and Mimi have a sibling dynamic to me, and the story potential considering Dimentio’s biological sister got turned into a Pixl and. Yk. Mimi could possibly be a failed Pixl. Is INSANE and I WISH it was used more because holy shit it has so much potential.

I like to believe the Pixl Creator (aka Dimentio’s father imo) created Mimi even if there’s no evidence JUST LET ME HAVE THIS but I also made a post maybe a year ago that theorized Francis’ ancestors created Mimi. I don’t think it’s really recognized that Francis CREATED A PIXL WITHOUT MAGIC. Yk that spell that requires the magic of the Dark Prognosticus? Yeah just forget that shit I said earlier about Non-Ancients not being able to just go out and make a Pixl, because apparently this fuckass Redditor did it. Anyways. Tipton is a robot. Mimi is a robot. I rest my case (loud applause) (people throw roses at me)

-

I already made posts about Mr. L and Dimentio, so I won’t ramble anymore here :3 But in regards to what you said YEAH . Mr. L could’ve been so much more it’s genuinely painful. And Dimentio is fucking terrifying. I honestly like to believe he did genuinely nuke the protagonists and the game only said he merely teleported them because saying “Mario’s dead like for real” is probably something Nintendo didn’t want to put in their game. I mean come on- he used the explosion attack that causes actual damage in battle. They died LMOAOOAOA. I hope we see both of them again. I was hoping so BADLY for even a glimmer of Mr. L in the Mario movie-like a mask/bandana hanging out of a drawer cameo or something. BUT ITS OKAY GUYS 😁😁😁😁😁😁 (visibly shaking) (teeth chattering) (is missing patches of hair on my head) (rocking back and forth)

[deputy-buck]

@sleepy-maya you know what this isn't too bad for my usual BoB writing (even though I've never posted any bc it always felt so lacking lol) and I hope you like it!! Thanks for the patience and prompt!

-

"Docile Alpha"

All the downtime in Austria has lulled Speirs' body into a sense of safety, the routine of paperwork and strongly advising soldiers “not to drink too much” allowed his body to push for its neglected needs… in arguably the worst way. His rut is a surprise, waking up at the usual 05:15, only this morning drenched in sweat and a hard-on that was beginning to hurt. Speirs let out an exhausted sigh, knowing the following four days would be hell in a handbasket if he didn’t get something to treat it soon.

Getting dressed felt like crash landing from a short jump: not enough height to deploy his shoot properly, and too much hard ground coming up too fast, it’s nearly identical. Speirs tries to muscle through it without making too much noise, legs aching, boner not willing to leave (he knows jacking off is near-futile), and fuck why does his jaw hurt so bad. Where the fuck is a medic when you can’t yell for one? Ron thinks about forgoing his jacket and leaving his hair a wreck, but his appearance means more to his men than his own comfort so he buttons his jacket and wets his hair down, runs some pomade through it and combs it all back, letting gravity do the rest. 

Now to find Doc.

-

“Supply sent all the suppressants an Omega could ask for but none for Alpha’s, sorry, Captain.” Roe sounds slightly sympathetic for Speirs and very frustrated with whoever sent so many OSPs (Omega Suppressant Pack) and not a single ASP (Alpha Suppressant Pack) to a Company made up of 97% Alphas. Still rooting through crates and boxes in hopes of finding at least one sleeve of pills for his commanding officer, Roe suddenly feels hot breath on the back of his neck. Eugene’s hackles rise for a brief moment before he thinks of how Ron must feel at the moment, hormones running rampant through his body. 

“You smell good,” Speirs says accusatively, struggling to keep his hands to himself even though every thought in his head is screaming at him to never get close to an enlisted man. Instead, he places his hands on the wood crate in front of Doc, leaving them relaxed on the rough-milled boards so as not to make the younger man feel caged in. You can always say no. Speirs hopes Eugene understands

“What?” Roe deadpans with tensed hands full of useless OSPs and neatly spooled IV tubing. He feels a wash of possessiveness roll down his body, already knowing what Speirs is about to say.

“You smell good,” Ron repeats, taking an audible deep breath of Eugene’s scent. “Nobody smells good to me in rut.” His exhale trembles as he lets Eugene’s scent go.

Through all Speirs' ruts, he never had the scent-induced lust craze, never had the overwhelming need to KnotFuckBreed the way his peers always described. Ron wanted to be alone. He took suppressants and exercised extensively to relieve the pent-up energy, running for miles into densely wooded areas to find some privacy in order to relieve himself in a different way. That’s really all Alpha suppressants do: allow Alphas to get themselves off without having to be tied to someone. 

This is different. Ron can’t pinpoint any particular notes, Eugene just smells like sweat and skin, maybe a little antiseptic but it’s purely Eugene that he smells. The young medic’s scent is thick and heady to him nonetheless, clouding his senses and making Ron’s head swim with thoughts no officer should ever have about a subordinate.

“Think you should get back to your room, Sir. Ain’t the best idea to be around other Alphas while you're in rut.” Roe says firmly, not allowing any traces of want slip into his voice, he doesn’t need to launch Speirs into a spiral out here for everyone to see. “I’ll come check on you later, maybe have something to help you too.”

-

Fuck, this shouldn’t feel so good. Shouldn’t be so close already. Where did Doc learn to do this?

Speirs lays supine on the plush mattress, stripped down to only his undershirt -which is rucked up to his armpits- chest heaving with every labored breath, back arching up off the sweat soaked sheets. 

Eugene keeps his right hand tightly gripped around Speirs’ aching, half-popped knot, slowly twisting side to side and rubbing the pad of his thumb up the shaft as far as he can reach. Pulling sickly sweet whimpers and moans from the man feared by every Easy Company trooper sends a surge of power through the Omega’s core, rendering the most dangerous man breathless would intoxicate anyone. Tempted to lean down to lick the beads of precum oozing from Speirs’ cock, Roe tempers it by gently cupping his left hand over the tip, drawing a nearly pained whine from the older man’s throat as Roe slides his palm across and around the over-sensitive head.

“Fucking Christ, Doc,” Speirs mewled through gritted teeth. With pleasure clouding his mind, Ron lifts his hand out of the twisted sheets, reaching to touch the medic in some way, eager to know what Doc’s skin feels like aside from the single firm handshake they’ve shared. He stops himself short, thinking of how this is already bad enough and would only worsen if he were to make contact. Speirs should have never stepped into Doc’s personal space back in the med bay, should have never lingered long enough to take another deep breath of his addictive scent, and definitely never should have allowed the Omega into this room. But he did, and now the least he can do to preserve his innocence is to keep this clinical.

All those thoughts of professionalism fly out the window when Doc speaks.

“Don’t think I ever seen an Alpha act like such an Omega before.” Roe grins, eyes sweeping down the Alpha’s trembling body, a low purr building in his chest at the sight. “Surprised you’re not leakin' slick.”

With that, the floodgates open from Speirs’ brain to mouth. 

“Let me cum, ‘Gene, please let me cum. Swear I’ll be good if you let me cum. Do anything you want, I’ll let you fuck me if you want, ‘Gene just please let me cum.” It would sound so pathetic coming from any other Alpha’s mouth, but Speirs sounds genuine, like this is who he really is deep down. He sounds so desperate it’s cute.

“You know it ain’t smart to fuck an alpha when he’s in rut, ya might rip my throat out, cher.” Doc chuckles and twists his hand around Speir’s knot a little fast, tightening his pinky beneath the swell of it emulating a hole clenching down. Roe decides he’s tortured the poor man enough, pulling his left hand away from polishing the head of Speirs’ cock to slide down and back up the shaft. “Let go, knot my hand ‘n make a mess. You’ll clean it up like a good boy for me, won’t you?”

“Yes, ‘Gene.” Ron gasps as his orgasm washes through his body, cock pulsing in Eugene’s firm hold, pearly white strings coating his own heaving belly and chest. Speirs’ legs hitch up to get away from the gentle strokes of Doc’s other hand but Roe persists, milking every last drop of cum from his docile Alpha. The final dribbles of cum leak over Doc’s pale knuckles, making his hand even more slight around Speirs’ now fully inflated knot. Swiping some of the slick fluid up with his left thumb, Eugene finally allows himself a taste of Speirs, outright laughing at the breathless whimper the Alpha lets out at the sight.

“You’re real pretty when you cum, you know that?” Eugene murmurs softly, eyes soft and full of a newfound love for his Captain. Eugene lets his hand go slack on Ron’s softening cock but keeps it there for his own possessive reasons.

It takes a few moments for Speirs to respond, head fuzzy with a new surge of arousal and safety, his voice slightly slurred as he says, “Thank you, ‘Gene.”

-

(WC: 1,348)

I don't know how it got so long... :)

[propertyofkylar]

actually im not done yapping abt the latest routes ive done. hold on this will have spoilers for olympia soiree AND piofiore AND bustafellows lmao

olympia soiree

the plot in this game is sooo good…and riku’s route was the perfect intro. like not only has riku catapulted to the top of my best men list the game itself is def gonna be a favorite. because his route was so well-written. it had the perfect blend of plot and drama and romance and steaminess. the way he and byakura fell for each other slowly was *chef’s kiss* and him confessing his love while they were IN A FUCKING TRIAL…no one is doing it like him fr.

and byakura is suchhhh a good mc. i love her kindness and her care. and i love how she always stands up for what she believes in and isn’t afraid to take charge. when riku was like “nooo i can’t touch you” and she just. shoved him on the bed.GOOD SHIT

in short. gimme more of these blushy tsundere bitches plsss

piofiore

lowkey i got this entire game bc of yang. so yeah he’s my fav lmao. i love him. i love that he doesn’t have a blushing sprite bc he has never felt shame in his entire life. but i love his random soft moments…when he bought that panda plush and lili was like “did you get this for me” and he says “beats me” i just…AHHHHH

he’s peak trash husband. im looking at his acrylic standee rn. i need to get through the rest of the game bc i wanna play piofiore 1926 so bad…

also i fucking love dante too even tho his route got overshadowed by me immediately jumping into yang. but he is sooooo….hnngh…i go so CRAZY for a flustered kuudere. guys i think i may just be a whore

bustafellows

okay so like. i played this first back in january i think and i played blindly and ended up on scarecrow’s route. and he is so perfect to me. i love that he and teuta have such a chaotic dynamic. they are the definition of sharing one brain cell. he’s just so silly and goofy but also a cyberterrorist actually but it’s fine

so like i loved him sm i was hesitant to move on. but i did limbo’s route last night and i really enjoyed it!! the story was interesting and captivating. again i loved the growth of their relationship here. it felt very natural and sweet. he and teuta care so much about each other. i love how open they are with each other.

so he’s definitely not my favorite (every time crow appeared it went doki doki fr) but he’s a good boy. and voiced by kenn who is one of my favs lol. ALSO that one side b cg….OMGGGG the way i was fanning myself

anyway. yeah. that’s me lately. thanks for listening i should be working rn but instead rambling about fictional men. whose route should i do next. otome kitten recommended tokisada next in os and he’s definitely not my type so i might do that and get it over with bc i wanna get to yosuga so bad lmaoooo

[osarina]

🧛/🐉

I tried to message you my thoughts on the finale, but realized a) you got those exclusive DMs (good for you, that is very wise), and b) I didn’t know if you had seen it yet. I’m glad to hear you have!!

At first, I was soooo upset because HEY THERE HAS BEEN NO ACTION FOR THE PAST 3/4 EPISODES!!! COME ON HOTD ‼️‼️ After listening to some of the audiobook, I think they kinda made the right move ONLY about not ending the season with (spoilers for tv onlies) Jace’s death. Considering the first season ended on Luke’s, I feel like it would have felt brutal/repetitive if this one ended with Jace’s.

But their pacing… my god, it needs some work. The first 4 episodes (maybe my mind is lying to me, but I remember loooving through episode 4, even if that one took my fav character from me 😔) actually felt like stuff was happening. 5 was the somewhat calm after the storm, and then I kept wanting the series to return to its bread and butter: dragons. I’m prolly forgetting good things in other episodes, but Daemon’s dream sequences reeeeally started to get on my nerves lol

Jace really grew on me in the finale tbh. Seeing all of team black’s dragon riders made me realize how hard Jace is trying to get along with them lol. Too bad I found out what happens to him in the book right after when I listened to the audiobook rip

Ohhhh my god. About that asoiaf thing… I love the idea of him having a son who was raised to hate him ahhhh that’s so cool!! And soooo like Fyodor

If he had a daughter, I think it would shatter me if a similar thing with Cersei happened to him. Like, he loved his children more than anything, but maybe Fyodor’s daughter (who’s actually his) was sent away by Fyodor — maybe for a marriage, maybe it was actual love similar to Myrcella and whatshisname — and then when he tried to retrieve her, she was murdered. Like… girldadzai will ALWAYS be famous ‼️‼️

(And then in her last moments, maybe she tells Dazai that she always knew he was her dad. 🫠🫠)

This was very wild and all over the place, but I’m glad to hear you’re doing better!!!

HOTD NONNIE MY DMS ARE CURRENTLY OPEN altho they're not gonna stay open for long bc idk why but i get a lot of spam dms WEEPS

omgg. ... hotd nonnie i totally think the opposite. like as glad as i am that we're getting more of jace, i do wish the second season had ended on his death because i would have liked to see the parallel/immediate comparison of rhaenyra's reaction to luke's death at the beginning of season 2 and then jace at the beginning of season 3 because iirc, jace's death is what really leads to "rhaenyra the cruel" and i thought it wouldve been cool to have it in direct perspective w the deaths in the season finales and the changes in her behavior in the first few episodes of each new season

yo genuinely i am not happy with what they're doing with this show like ive tried to be patient but holy fuck the entire harrenhal plotline was killing me and a lot of it felt very repetitive to me. i was so disappointed that they cut the battle of the burning mill only to have ONE major battle this season. i know that they were confirmed for a fourth season but i have no idea how they're gonna incorporate everything into two seasons now .. especialyl with this whole new plotline with alicent giving up king's landing ?? idk i have to reread the books but i feel like they fucked up the timeline with that but in short i am not happy with this season

i adore jace </3 he's one of my favorites - he would have made such a good king if given the chance

UGHHHHHHHH NOT FYODOR SENDING HER AWAY FOR A BETROTHAL no because now im weeping bc i imagine maybe they were twins - a girl and boy, and maybe the girl was hesitant to hate dazai in the way fyodor wanted her too. even kind of reaches out to him a bit but then he sends her away. while the son is kept close because he's followed directly in fyodor's footsteps </3

[rhinco]

hello can u tell me about hsr? recently started playing genshin and im wondering if its worth my time to get invested in another hoyo game…

hiya! okay this started getting very long and sidetracked so. my short opinion is that yes hsr is a good fun game and if you have the time you should get into it too 👍

my long answer is that hsr is just. a better game to get into than genshin generally lol (coming from someone who spent 2+ years in genshin hyperfixation hell). i have complicated feelings about genshin because it has a lot of characters that i love (my pfp may be aventurine rn but i will always be the childe guy) but with the release of natlan ive just lost motivation to play it at all. i might pick it up if childe gets a rerun or when we get to snezhnaya but i don't think im ever gonna be the same level of invested in it i used to be

(i will also say that part of the reason i dropped it completely is because i started playing zenless zone zero which im also loving and i think 2 gacha games is my capacity to still have a life outside of them)

now. is hsr a perfect game. absolutely not. it's still made by the same company and i don't want to sing hsr's praises when they're also fully capable of doing the same/similar racist shit as genshin has. so take everything with a grain of salt yknow. with that said, here's some other reasons i really like hsr

in comparison to genshin: they're more generous with stellar jades than genshin is with primos. the banner system generally is just slightly better (especially weapon banner). trailblaze power (equivalent to resin) has a huge overflow so you can store it up over time if you don't play.

the combat system is different but really fun. it took me a bit to get used to, i recommend trying to learn it in itself rather than trying to go ok what's the 'genshin equivalent' (for a lot of things in the game you can just go ok what's the equivalent. but specifically for combat mechanics i think it's better to differentiate)

and then i just really love hsr's story. penacony especially is one of the best storylines ive played out of all of genshin and hsr. generally i think the game has a lot more fun and heart put into it, it lets itself be sillier, i mean there's a literal plotline revolving around sentient trashcans. i love the character designs too. genshin's have felt stale to me recently (partially bc of the overt racism tho lol) but boothill and aventurine are some of my favourite characters designs so far (← definitely not biased).

anyways. sorry this got so long i have a lot of feelings and autism about these games and i hope i answered your question lol

[likesunsetorange]

🤍✨💥:))

fic writer ask game

✨What's a fic you've posted you wish you could breathe life into again and have people talking about it? (or simply a fic you wish got more credit)

one day i’ll forget about it

one of my favorite fics i’ve written has always been this song one shot, idk why i just loved it so much? maybe bc i love the song so much (literally my #1 song last year on apple music AND spotify) and i really just love the way i wrote it and felt kind of proud for the metaphors in it (had to put my bio degree to use lol). but i just sometimes go back and read it and i love it so much, so i guess i would say i wish it got more credit? but i still love it regardless!!!

i also kind of love how even though it’s so short i was able to capture so much emotion and depict the heartbreak and pain of a breakup? also too when one of my moots read they told me that it made them so sad LOL and they didn’t think they could even listen to the song bc of it!! idk i love angst and i think as much as i love romcoms and cheesy stuff i love writing sad shit too lol

BUT i do wanna write a second part to it bc of a friend who really loved it as a gift to her, and that one will be eren’s pov! and it’ll be based off not strong enough by boygenius!!

💥find your least kudos'd fic - say something wonderful about it.

🤍what's one fic of yours you think people didn't "get"?

this love will keep us through

i’m putting these two in one bc i think i’d have to say both apply to my most recent cabin fic!!

honestly i was so proud of this fic bc i normally stray away from canonverse bc i feel like im not the most well versed with canon material since i got into aot wayyyy later than most people! but i really love my eren depiction a lot idk i love eren so so so much he’s one of my favorite characters so i love eren introspection i could write about him all the time! i wanna do a character study on him one day but anyways!! i think my prose and writing was just rlly nice and also it was my first time writing present tense!!! so i was kinda proud LOL

and i think people definitely did catch on to the theme of the seasons but i could literally go on a whole tangent on the symbolism within the fic and why i wrote it the way i did, just bc there was truly a lot more to it!! like there was symbolism within each section and why i wrote each scene in each “season” and kind of why i separated it into seasons! i love seasonal symbolism and i really enjoy domesticity too so i wanted to hone in on that with that fic, and i think i did a pretty good job! and with mikasa’s pov ive been writing i think im doing a good job! (although it was a little hard to continue the same theme and still make it unique to her but also relevant haha)

and thank you for the question hehe! <3

[h5eavenly]

oh my god i just fell down to my knees in the middle of the parking lot

first of all y/n is a better person than me bc i would've denied everything. bc how are you gonna pull up TO MY PLACE and rat me out to MY BF under MY roof???? just ain't no way 😭 i can't really defend y/n on the bet thing but i will say the absolute fucking NERVE to show up to her door and expose her in her own household yeji was so wrong for that i'm cryinggg 😭😭 i would've gaslit them both into the next lifetime like my love she's clearly not in a right mental space rn don't listen to her 😭😭😭 it would've been so bad bc ain't no way you're giving me a read like that under my own roof baby we can go outside for this

but in all seriousness woah this is really crazy. your gf is telling you that she was forced to sleep with somebody and that she was threatened and harassed for months and you're telling her that it's always everybody else's fault but never hers..... yea it's really crazy. i understand hyune's frustration and where he's coming from bc he basically just found out y/n had been continuously lying to him even though he created many opportunities for her to come clean to him and i understand he didn't really mean it but that was a lot. btw the chapter was beautifully written as always, and i particularly love how you work with these characters and make them so nuanced and three-dimensional that you can tell when they're saying stuff they don't necessarily mean but still can understand where they're coming from + how their statements validate their anger bc even if the statement itself is absolutely out of place, their feelings are justified and both things are true at once so you can't bluntly judge one of these things without acknowledging the other. ik i sound like a broken record but the intricate layers that you work with regarding this smau make my literary theory loving self so happy and you deserve all the flowers for it. im absolutely obsessed and my heart is still 200 metres deep like we might as well just bury it atp but i loved every single line 🩷

good news is cat is finally out of the bag!!!! and everybody cheered bc now yeosang has nothing on y/n and he can be finally dealt with. ik we still have a long way to go bc honestly seungmin's revelation gagged me a bit i was like oh???? we still haven't seen hanji and ayen either and im honestly so seated for their carousel debut. but woah this was really the highlight of my week i haven't felt so many things in such a short time in literal days

NO BC same id deny everything like my life depended on it worst case id pretend to fall into a rare amnesia out of nowhere like uhh WHO ARE YOU GUYS EVEN WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE🤨 🤨🤨

it feels like hyune was too overwhelmed by the weight and length of her lie to fully register what shes saying like he heard everything but didnt really listen

baby :(( idek how to respond to you rn im speechless im just so happy that you think so of my writing i wanna cry and scream and idk thank youu so much i have stopped writing for years and this series was the first thing ive written in a while so to see this overwhelming love and positivity is insane to me :(( also i dont think the rest of skz are gonna debut in carousel tbh han might make an appearance in the past like seungmin but thats about it🥺💗💗 im happy you enjoyed this ty for writing to me🥺🥺

[rv2xlga]

sigh.

i realize i dont rant here enough like as much as i should. i should be drawing and not spending time being a fucking idiot ranting on TUMBLR at 2 am but shuake is just too serious for me

CUZ yall don’t understand my level of. crazy. my level of insane my level of obsession its been like 7 months of just straight up fixation and i always find the same things to feel the new feeling of love again for them. saw someone talking about their short film like a little summary on what its abt and the inspiration, a little love letter to their lover of sorts saying how the film is abt genuinely loving someone who is good to you for the first time, “This was the first time I would say "I love you" to someone, and it not come from a place of fear or a toxic one. This film is a celebration of vulnerability, and letting pure, secure love in without the constant impulse to self sabotage” I’ll quote and bc i cant think of love without immediately thinking of shuake (its a genuine problem lmao😭), i HAD to just think about them and yk what. idegaf their love is so beautiful to me. i think the idea of akechi having bpd and the same mental issues and disorders as me finding love in someone who is also very similar to him in some sense, like them both being autistic and such, just really speaks a lot to me.

im definitely not an opposites attract person, although they technically WOULD be opposites i think the whole troupe of “enemies” to lovers is the fact that they arent really enemies and actually have a lot more in common than first thought, at least when done well anyway so to me, they aren’t opposites when it comes to like. the things that matter like personality and the things that make people connect and become closer like the things u cant control ig lol but anywho, bc i hc (its basically canon) akechi having bpd i think thats why it means SO MUCH more to me and i love his character sm. he’s not my favorite, but bc that’s the first time i see a character like that be represented with something so similar to me and not be treated like a villain or just be really extreme like akechi is definitely. well. extreme but he’s not like, let’s say, like yuri level from ddlc like i wouldnt even consider that bpd she just straight up crazy😭 like idk, i just really relate to akechi so i really see him having bpd and bc ive always felt soo left out bc of my bpd even in spaces you would THINK would be safer, i always feel singled out somehow and although i still dont really know why, ig i see myself in akechi a lot and even akira too so the idea that parts of me could find that love and care like the fact that parts of me could find other parts of me, ig im not broken lmao like its all a little puzzle :)

okkk lore drop🔥🔥 got so hashtag emo there BUT that meant something i promise!!! that whole idea of feeling like ur missing something or theres just something wrong with u or ur unloveable or whatever, the idea that akechi felt that and FOUND it in akira makes my heart melt like a fucking fangirl i hate everything. i always think abt shuake and their love bc people always say how they are so toxic blah blah blah, and yk what, lemme not lie, that’s probably the truth! but i cant see them being soo toxic like that especially with how young they are like akechi was like. a few months of just turning 18, akira was 17 like they arent full grown adults even tho akechi was definitely aware enough to know what he was doing was wrong (even at 15 or however old he was when first helping shido i would say), you wouldnt understand the FULL severity of it like its a lot to explain but HOPEFULLY i make sense lol😭😭 and i think just being so young and growing through so much like im already. off. and i dont even live a life CLOSE to that EVER like of course he’s gonna be a little. off his rockets🤩 i mean what did yall expect😭 i keep using this phrase but yea!! so the idea of him meeting akira and finally being able to feel that youth and enjoy parts of life that typically teenagers get to live is si sweet to me.

mind u, im not saying that him living that “teenage life” is the way it HAS to be lived bc i think my life is better without those things as a teen myself and its most definitely not necessary but to me, akechi is just like. a very much stan twitter gay guy😭 he has his little bit of nerd (WHICH I LOVE^_^) but like anyone, of course he would want and need that friendship, that connection. do i believe he wouldn’t really care abt friends and shit? yea bc look, i dont really care for that myself but i wont lie to you and tell u i would love just ONE good connection in my life like yk, a friend i actually want but im not gonna be all friendless here so back to akechi!😊 he’s just very normal high schooler to me, ONE THING I LOVE ABT HIM AND SUMI ACTUALLY. i feel like with sumi, because ae doesn’t know like anything abt akechi’s past and what’s he’s done and stuff i feel like akechi just gets to live a “regular high schooler life” with sumi, yk? like everytime akechi and sumi would hang out (i like to believe they would hang out pre royal idgaf🥱) and akechi would complain or talk akira, sumi would just think “ah he’s on his crush thing again” like ae has NO CLUE he’s gonna shoot him in the head and yk what. that connection definitely means something bc that would be the first person akechi has ever met his age who ISNT involved in his “work life”?? like isn’t involved in his cases and shit like. a genuine healthy friendship🤯🤯🤯 and thats ANOTHWR reason i love sumigoro (make fun of me all u want but i seriously do not. gaf😜😝) bc i think akechi would really go and mess that up, he’d be like “wait. do i actually like sumi” all bc of the fact that they have a good connection and akechi isnt used to that

WHICH brings me to what i was GOING TO bring up (sorry for the crazy detour) but YEA, the whole idea of having a love and always feeling the need to self sabotage reminds me smm of shuake. akechi going and ruining their connection even though there was definitely ways he could’ve gone abt killing shido…. with the phantom thieves’ health possibly👀👀???? i feel like that was the prime explain of self sabotage, guilt and the fact that he wasnt even actually processing what he did and HAS done. like that one scene after 11/20 where he’s in the studio filming and their asking him abt the pts and he gets slient and thinks abt some shit like abt the pts and sorta feels guilty (idk if thats the undesirable child scene i think it is but im not sure lol) but yeah that, that is the PRIME explain of processing and guilt. after killing people and doing all that shit for so long i think that was the first time it actually hit him like “oh shit wait. i’ll never see these people again” like the idea that it hit so close to home, these were kids HIS age, even younger too and.. what EYE like to believe, people he thought probably deserved more life than even himself (like the after thought of it) bc u cannot convince me he really sent his ass over to shido’s palace just to tell joker some shit like girl. and getting himself killed too like naww that’s embarrassing as shit😭😭 like ik thats talked abt and thats what the whole scene is abt but like. EXACTLY he felt guilt for his actions and felt he needed to atone!! HE HADNT REALLT PROCESSED ANYTHING IF HE WAS FEELING THAT NOWW ofc he was going to get innocent people killed like. YEA😭😭 but he’s a fucking kid like what did u expect him to do, even if i had that power even with the current knowledge i have☝️🤓 i wouldnt even realize wtf im doing like yk ur doing something bad, but as a smart kid too.. its all abt competition lol, but in all seriousness tho and they show that in the game

ok sorry got off track again but yea, self sabotaging his love with akira all for the competition of it all, clearly i will never just flow into it naturally so ill state it plainly, self sabotaging his love and overall genuine connection with akira bc thats all he was ever thought to do, from his own mother and obviously, his own father. had to sabotage the love he had for his mother bc well. she ended up kwording herself😭😭 and had to sabotage the love for his father (which didnt exist to me idc) bc he had to kill him, i mean. he was awful😭😭 so having that constant battle between that, thats one thing i LOVE like ADORE ABOUT SHUAKE i love the idea that they could be vulnerable with each other i also love akira and his personality cuz he compliments akechi so well in SO MANY WAYS whoever wrote and made their characters and storylines personally ate with their yaoi deliverance😍😍 LMAO that was a joke but honestly. gave us such a good ship TY🙏 atlus at least for SOMETHING ur good at like like the thing i quoted said, THE WAY THAT IF ATLUS WOULDVE GAVE US AN I LOVE YOU BETWEEN THEM. aside from the fact i would’ve killed myself and died and then fell off a cliff and then kill myself again and killed myself a 3rd time just to make sure i also would’ve cried SO BAD, ik thats asking for WAYY TOO MUCHH but let a girl dream smh like IT WOULDVE MESNT SO MUCH AND HAD SM WEIGHT, it truly would’ve been akechi’s first ily that would’ve came from a genuine good place or would’ve been the first ily he ever heard that didnt try to manipulate or gain smth out of him!! which is. BEAUTIFUL ALL WAYS U LOOK AT IT like they definitely had their ups and downs (shuake i mesn) but the fact akira still wouldve loved him and seen him through everything is just so. something abt the unstable and the unstable but a little more stable dynamic😍😍 but seriously tho lol, i love their connection. again, it just speaks a lot to me SO PERSONALLY i hate everything

one thing i love abt royal is how we got to see akechi’s character a bit, i do like the royal writing a lot for this reason, some parts felt like aww yk lol and kinda reminiscent to the beginning of the game which felt a lot more genuine even tho royal’s writing felt more fanservicey, it had SOME sense of like, ok the characters arent written toooo bad here like the middle of persona so i appreciated it and u can tell atlus put a lot more work on the royal trio scenes (the fanservice was crazy in that part😭) so i also loved that too lol bc again, we got to see akechi’s character and the effect joker had on him and how like. less of an asshole he was like i wish we could’ve seen just a BIT more of him. again again i just LOVE dynamics like shuake and seeing characters grow and shit and shuake just does it so well UGH i hate them😭😭

[itsdaarcy]

darcy's short ramblings about side order

spoilers ahead ofc, im not holding back from anything so be warned

so i beat side order to 100%. every palette is done and i got every colored chip so that the collection is done. i guess what im missing is just the collectibles and a "hackless" run, which i will do in the next days (i need a break for today.. ive been playing side order for 10h today and yesterday it was over 15h).

here a lil list of things i enjoyed:

agent 8 content and lore !!! shes my fav agent (excluding agent 3 as shes now the captain) and i loved seeing her in almost all cutscenes !! i was super happy to see that she was part of marinas dev diaries and that she had her own weapon palette (that has its own unique design to it when u go to the menu !). thanking the devs for finally showing more of the relationship 8 has with oth

pearlina canon (u cannot deny it)

acht/dedf1sh lore ! loved loved loved finally getting some more info regarding acht , even if some info is wrong (im guessing its a translation error)

the environment. god the environment.. i love the aesthetic that side order has, from the square outside to the lil training room u have before entering the elevator. the stages are cool designed, especially the background stuff and overall just love the scenery of the dlc

the music. THE MUSIC. ear blessing, so so good

gameplay. huge fan that the devs took a leap and made a campaign with a totally new perspective of gameplay. i had so much fun playing thru the tower with different palettes, thinking which ones would fit best for my weapon and playstyle

but even with all these positive things i do have some stuff i dislike (? dislike is a pretty strong word for this):

not enough lore. i know we got SO MUCH lore bits, but i wished we got more. be it from more dev diaries, flashback cutscenes or sth

length of the dlc. this is sth that has so many ppl disappointed and i kinda get it ? the dlc is to be played several times (since its a rogue-like), but i wish the thing would be just a tiny bit longer. i finished my first full run in 2 1/2h (and that with the fact i had to re-do the tower all over again bc i died at floor 27), and from then on i just replayed it all with the other palettes i got over time. oe was longer in a sense, and i wished side order was like that too

story. now dont get me wrong, i LOVE the story of side order with everythign i have. but if i compare it with how i felt with octo expansion, it just didnt quiet hit the same. oe was a pretty emotional dlc to me (i cried at the end credits), while side order just.. didnt give that. i shed a tear at the end credits of side order, but not fully cried like i did for oe. i wished it had just more, power more emotion yk? but like i said, i still love love love the story !!

tone change from the first concept trailer we got. the first ever trailer we got made side order look so, odd and creepy in a way ? and i wished they stayed more with that. i love the aesthetic it has rn ! but i also wish we got more of that cryptic vibe

that one stupid fucking fish that spawns those exploding lil fishies.. when i catch u ricky.. ricky when i catch u ricky.

i love side order with everything i have inside of me. ive been waiting for it since it was announced back in february 2023. and im happy we got it. im thanking the devs for creating such a wonderful dlc.

it will always have a special place in my heart, just like octo expansion does.