#im taking on a little project that ill do at some point where i add a verse to it

[loverboybrightsideghost]

tell me if you wanna go home from begin again as a zoscar song perchance 🤔

[evereverest2]

Little Monster Q&A + author fun facts !!

hello new followers and fans of Little Monster. first of all, i just have to thank everyone for the crazy support ive been getting as of late. thank you everyone. every like, comment, and reblog just pushes me to keep writing, even when it feels like every word i write is garbage.

so i decided to make this little special! idk if anyone will be super interested, so ill put all the stuff under the cut, but i also wanted to add this little drawing i did of terzomega as like extra content. if you arent interested, thanks anyway and enjoy the art!

—

to everyone who stayed, i have no idea why you’re interested, but thanks lmfao. this shit will be long.

Questions

Is your most recent oneshot about the mirror related at all to Little Monster? (from @ofthemorningstars)

i'm glad you noticed that !! in The Mirror, i very purposefully left two hints at the end of the fic to indicate its connection to Little Monster, which was the taco ring reference and Terzo's use of "mostriciatto". to me, mostriciatto will always be the Little Monster version of terzomega. no matter when i finish that fic or if i write more fics after, i will never again use mostriciatto unless im purposefully writing these versions of terzomega. i havent seen anyone else use it (i hope they dont), so i like to imagine this can be forever my impact on terzomega fics lmao. anyway, the purpose of me leaving those references isnt necessarily to say, "this is a future scene of little monster" bc it isnt exactly that (while i have plans that line up with this oneshot, i cannot anticipate that everything will fit perfectly by the time we get there in the canon). the purpose of doing that was to show u cuties that yes, terzo and omega will eventually have a better relationship, and i will be extending this timeline into papa terzo era. just a fun little teaser for my more observant fans.

also, fun fact about how i came up with that pet name. i was writing the first part of Little Monster (that part is now titled Spilled Wine as featured on my Ao3) and i knew i wanted to give terzo an affinity for using pet names, but i didn't know quite which ones to use. i didn't want to be boring, so i googled some. i have no idea where, but i found mostriciatto, meaning, of course, "little monster." i had yet to even really start writing it, but i knew i wanted it to be DARK with a very unhinged omega, so i thought, perfect. ill talk a bit more about the writing of part one later on

2. How many parts do you currently anticipate writing? Do you have a set ending point, or will this perhaps be an ongoing project for the foreseeable future? (from @ofthemorningstars)

i have 12 major plot points (including the first five parts i have written) that loosely translate into parts. this could mean 12 parts, or it could be more depending on what i write. i kinda plan on expanding this to 18 (6 parts per “era” or “act” [you’ll see what i mean]) though i dont quite have a set ending yet, so really its up in the air. i am, however, planning on having a definitive ending, ergo not an endless project. from there there may be some oneshots in this universe, but they will have an ending.

3. In the first part of little monster you put a disclaimer with something along the lines of "if you're expecting comfort I'm sorry to disappoint". The angst is MWAH but do you like plan on giving Terzo like any sort of comfort or happiness?? (from @puuuders)

before i begin rambling, here's your answer: there will be hope and good times as mentioned above, and you might have even picked up on that in part 5. i may have wrote a fucked up versions of terzomega but whats a good story without character growth?? i havent determined the direction of the ending, but rest assured, if it all burns down, they will hold each other close (for the minute it takes).

but also.... funny story about that disclaimer....

soo i wanted to write ghost fanfic to impress my friend who is a VERY avid member of this community. however, i failed to realize they DO NOT like angst without love and care and fluff, so after i showed it to them, buddy did not like it. i took that as a sign that maybe this shit was a little TOO dark.

but my god, i could not stop thinking about it, as the caption said, and i dont always feel that away about what i write. i had recently started to post semi often to tumblr, and i just thought. well, theres gotta be someone else as fucked up as me, and i posted that shit. that disclaimer was a result of taking my friends reaction seriously and realizing that i needed to make it VERY clear that this fic is NOT for everyone. there was a different og caption that was longer and more grave, but i cut it down for aesthetics bc little monster has already seen more success than i ever anticipated.

4. What is your favorite ghost album, and what song introduced you to ghost? (from @puuuders) & Favorite ghost song (or songs) (from @ask-enso-ghoul)

my favorite album is Infestissumam!!! the vibes of the album are so fucking immaculate, even if terzo is my favorite papa.

of course, of course, the first song i ever heard from ghost was Mary on a Cross. it blew up when it did and i loved it. the second song that really made me start getting into ghsot was square hammer, which will secretly also be my favorite ghost song but ive heard it so many times i have to give it now to the future is a foreign land. some of my other fave songs are jigolo, respite, body and blood, faith, twenties, and year zero (there’s just so many)

i want to take a second to say my least favorite album though, which is opus eponymous, or as i call it, pope pussy. it’s ok. it’s just ok. mk. i’m not a fan of that sound. the best song on there is genesis. I FUCKING SAID IT—

5. how do you get into the zone of writing smut-? I’m trying to get into it but it sounds cheesy when I do, so do you do something specific? (from anon)

im gonna level with you. i have been writing for almost a decade, since i was 12, and the first thing i started writing was smut. sex has always been a HUGE creative force for my writing and art in general. as stupid as it sounds, writing smut to me is more than just that. its my art. its my greatest and most inspirational subject. i love being creative with it, bending it to the niches and intricacies of the duo im writing, just playing with it as a medium of expression, of storytelling, of how DEEP it can be.

that being said, one of the easiest ways to get into the zone of smut specifically is being horny ! you imagine your pairing doing some illicit bedroom activity and you pick them up liek dolls and smush their faces together ! let it be fun, and let it be yours. dont write it to please the kinks of your audience, write it to your own taste and enjoyment.

as far as it being cheesy, yeah, it will feel that way. the most important thing is to be confident with your language and don’t shy away from calling a dick a dick, a pussy a pussy, an ass an ass. it feels stupid, but it will read worse if you make up artsy names for them every other line. don’t be afraid to be descriptive either, because that’s what the people want to see, trust me.

apologies if that was unhelpful, ive just been writing smut so long i can hardly tell you how i do it. im jsut super passionate about it and it fuels me creatively….. can u tell lol

6. Favorite work you’ve ever done? (from anon)

so.... ive written many things and that depends. its definitely not anything ive posted on here.

i think my favorite "serious" work is a short story i wrote for a creative writing class, called Abel and Sally. it was an modern inversion of the bible story of abraham and sarah, with a really dark ending (i love to shit on catholicism)

the other work that comes to mind is the first story i wrote about my oc anson, called Anson's Prison. that is something i would potentially post on here, its pretty short but its a good one. its oc content, tho, so i doubt many ppl would be interested lel.

8. will you draw more drawing for your stories in the future? (from anon)

well. heres my thing with art.

ive been drawing as long as ive been writing. but im not an artist; i never learned ANYTHING beyond like drawing itself, i.e. i dont know how to shade, pick colors, do bgs, etc. (can u tell??? do u see that art up there???? can YOU TELL??) thus, i have a sort of love hate relationship with drawing, and i usually dont like my own stuff. i didnt pick up drawing as easy as i did writing and its not nearly as intuitive to me.

that being said, it is sometimes fun when the drawings turn out just right and i get super passionate about something i draw and i can create the image in my head. so if the mood strikes me, i probably will draw more terzomega stuff in the future.

but why do i need to?? @puuuders feeds you all SO WELL with little monster stuff you dont need my shitty art lmfao

9. MILK OR CEREAL FIRST? (from @raysoleil)

cereal. bc the moment the milk hits that cereal u are on a speedy ass countdown to devour that shit before it gets soggy, and brother, u better eat quick.

Things I wanted to share

Little Monster was supposed to be a one shot

so, Little Monster started as one thing and turned to something else entirely. originally, i wrote the beginning of the first chapter (where they are flirting in the church) in about april of this year. in this version, they were supposed to already be in love, though hiding it, and terzo was not drunk at all, just teasing. i eventually scrapped it because i wasnt very passionate about it and got p bored. then, in july, i had the itch to write something dark, but none of my projects at the time had characters i could really write that with. i came back to that scrapped fic and i thought, damn, i could really fuck these guys up, and i did.

little monster immediately became more successful than i thought it would be, and that was only about 10 notes and a comment in. i was happy to leave it at that, but then, i just started writing part two on a whim. if you look at the og post in the comments, i mention that im writing a "follow up". thats bc even when writing part two, this was not going to be a series !! but then, as i kept writing, part two became so long i had to split it in half, meaning there were suddenly 3. by the time i posted part three, though, i was shocked at the sheer amount of attention i was getting. at the same time, part three ended in such a way that i knew this story needed to keep going, to give these two a resolution. now, little monster will be a full fledged story thanks to all the support ive received :3

2. im an english major

yeah, you got me, im a college student majoring in english creative writing. is it obvious? my penultimate goal is to one day be a published author. it’s crazy surreal to me how much people express to me how they enjoy my writing~~ i hope i can one day make my dream come true 🥰 the unfortunate part about this is i go back to college next week and im uncertain how that will affect my writing schedule :p i’ll stick to weekly uploads for little monster tho dw !!

3. this is the first time i’ve written fanfic in several years

when i first started writing it was frerard and peterick fanfics on wattpad in middle school (huge shoutout to the ones that know lmfao). i stopped writing those before hs and haven’t written fanfic since. i think it’s very funny that i have come full circle back to writing band fanfic, altho ghost ofc is way more intricate with its canon

4. I LOVE YOU GUYS

i know i’ve said it a dozen times already on this post, but god it’s crazy. it’s nuts !! i’ve already made a handful of super sweet mutuals who i appreciate with all my heart, and even if you’re just a lurker, I STILL APPRECIATE YOU. EVERY SINGLE NOTE MAKES ME SO HAPPY. EVERY COMMENT AND RB HAS ME BURSTING WITH JOY.

it is entirely thanks to you all that i write terzomega and ive become so passionate about it. if it weren’t for your support, i would probably still be writing my silly little stories that no one but me could possibly understand, rotting away and wondering if anyone would even like my writing. terzo and omega are such a unique pairing compared to what ive written before, and writing them is a really cool feeling. i truly love it, and i hope i can continue to feed this side of the fandom for a long time.

from the bottom of my heart and with all my writing soul, thank you. i want to keep writing for u guys, and i want to satiate ur dirty terzomega fantasies >:) this is such a sweet and inclusive fandom and im glad i’ve been welcomed in so quickly. i hope i can continue to grow my talent here :3

ok that’s it bye teehee

[pastriibunz]

WELCOME TO THE KAI DREWNIVERSE!

“MONSTERS, MAYHEM, AND GODS GALORE! I’VE GOT IT ALL! TAKE MY HAND, AND I’LL TAKE YOU ON AN ADVENTURE YOU’LL NEVER FORGET!”

hi there!!! im pastriibunz! you might know me from the ask blog, @beaniibunzz i ran with my friends, chillibeanos and local-soda-can!

you might also know me for writing the Kai in Hatchetfield series (KIHF Masterpost), an OC insert fanfic series written like a script for the Hatchetfield Saga!

(PS I have an atabook! Leave me some messages!)

but more on that later, i wanna talk about ME >:]

Basic Info About Me:

☆ i think am aroace! 

☆ i'm trying out she/they pronouns!

☆ i have ADD! My friends keep saying i have undiagnosed autism-

☆ i do theater and i was in voice/singing lessons!

☆ i will be Kai Drew’s VA in TKWDLM: Voiced, as well as any other projects she needs a voice in!

☆ my best friends are @chillibeanos, @local-soda-can, and @evnt777!

☆ i like to draw and write!

And that’s me! i was kinda scrambling for things to add, so forgive me if it’s boring. But, i just wanted to get through it so i could get to the fun part. now onto my blog!! :D

i have a lot to say about this silly little blog!!!

note: my ask box is always open! fill it up with whatever your heart desires!

Things To Note:

★ I was grounded for a month, I’m back, but not without restrictions. I have 3 hours of screen time on weekdays, and 5 hours on weekends. This is subject to change.

★ Mutuals, please use the tag ‘#pastrii don’t look’ for posts with: anything very overtly sexual that isn’t written in a comedic tone. I am a sex repulsed asexual, and that type of content is very icky for me. :< [contents subject to change]

Content You Should Expect From Me:

★ my art, both silly doodles and full pieces!

★ fanfics/drabbles, mostly angst

★ my brain dumpy thoughts i thought were funny

★ oc insert content

notice how that last bullet point is bolded and italicized?

yeah that’s cause it’s super important

practically all the content on this blog will be about my OC: KAI DREW!

now, who is Kai Drew?

and why the hell is she in a shit ton of random fandoms?

well, Kai Drew is the little goober who’s managed to weasel her way into my brain, and 5 years later, she’s STILL. HERE.

she’s also on tumblr as @shxwstxpper!

she has her own silly little lore (to summarize: adoption, accidental mass murder, is god, and then shes inserted into various fandoms im into) that is super long and silly!!! maybe one day ill write about it. who knows!

so expect lots (if not all) of my content to surround around Kai!

speaking of my content…

Important Tags:

⛤ #kai drew 

⛤ #tkwdlm

⛤ #the kai who didn’t like musicals

⛤ #black kaiday

⛤ #bk

⛤ #npmk

⛤ #nerdy prudes must kai

⛤ #the kai drew and bean power hour

⛤ #kai drew and bean power hour

⛤ #kai drewniverse

⛤ #kai in hatchetfield

Kai Drewniverse Related Fandoms:

✰ Bendy And The Ink Machine

✰ Doki Doki Literature Club

✰ Toilet Bound Hanako Kun

✰ Clover 2020

✰ My Hero Academia

✰ South Park

✰ Welcome Home

✰ The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals

✰ Peggy Suave

✰ The Kai Drew And Bean Power Hour!

Non Kai Drewniverse Fandoms:

⛥ Ride The Cyclone

⛥ Chad Chad (Chadlings)

⛥ Danny Gonzalez (Greg)

⛥ Psych

⛥ Drew Gooden (Little Stinkers)

⛥ Kurtis Conner (Kurtistown)

⛥ Jarvis Johnson (Unnamed Fanbase)

Important Links:

✩ TKWDLM Masterpost!

✩ Nightmare Kai-me Masterpost!

✩ Blog Boundaries: Do’s and Don’ts!

and that’s all for now! be sure to stick around to see where Kai’s silly little adventures take her next!

bye bye! :]

[autumnfangirler]

👀 mindscapes u say ?

the minute i saw this ask this popped into my brain

insanity will go under the cut :)

step being step, and them being telepaths, i always thought they had ways to protect their mindscape just in case something happened, so those are going to be added along with the actual descriptions of the mindscape! ill add a bit of what their thoughts sound/feel like because it goes hand in hand for me

Caine- their mindscape is a mix of both the farm and the rangers HQ, because those two were the most fomative places in caine learning what to do and how to be. for a long time they werent anything but a vessel for what others wanted. his mindscape will shift depending on what caine associates the person with the most(fun fact, ortega is more or less at the midway point between the farm and the rangers. it makes for,,, an interesting look to his mindscape). the only thing that doesnt change, though, is that it always feels strangely impersonal, like hes viewing his own mind in a third person perspective. their mind is firm yet adaptable, and while his shields arent,,,,the greatest, they dont need to be. he keeps track of the mental feel of anybody in their brain, and arranges something accordingly. whatever seems to be a particular persons weakpoint, hell pick up on and project. its difficult to find anything in their brain (that sounds like an insult but i Swear its not) since its bare of more personal objects or revealing factors. they use their observations and skill to make sure nobody can do much to their brain– just like a fight, find his opponents weakness and take advantage of it to win.

i always saw his thoughts as a mix of ortega and chens, most of them being short and clipped, but restless. hell often get lost in them, though hes always aware of whats going on around him. their imagination is surprisingly active, and they also come with a healthy dose of overthinking :D

Cyrus- i was mentally shaking your hand when you talked about cyrus mindscape. the core of his mind is exactly what you described; its a blaze, with near welding-torch focus towards its victims. youll be burned if you try to get close. but hes making sure nobody reaches that far. the surrounding area is a icy and cold, giving anybody inside absolutely nothing. hes laid tricks, of course: fading tracks in the snow, an odd rustle of bushes here or there, but mostly speaking its entirely barren. its a test of endurance, and hes depending on people failing from the environment before they can do any real damage. only the people who know him or are observant enough can figure out which way to go. as a little bonus tidbit: prehb cyrus' mindscape was a forest in midday, where the heat was just intense enough to feel it beating on your back. there are still remnants of that in his current mindscape, though the trees are fallen over and theres no sun to be found.

his thoughts are very final, for lack of better word. theres hardly room for doubt in them, though often times he'll ruminate on an idea to make sure everything is up to his satisfaction. despite the outer shell of his mindscape, his thoughts Do feel warm, but its more like friction burn

Cecilia- her mind is surprisingly open, and it is showy. its a museum, and when you enter theres a velvet carpet with those massive marble stairs in the middle and a beautiful chandelier overhead. every floor has paintings of things shes done, with the first few floors consisting entirely of her proudest moments, including the sidestep ones. im sure theres at least one painting of the nanosurge in there, she didnt like the fact that nobody knew she stopped it. there are some more quieter, but still happy memories when people go up, ones with ortega, argent, herald, and more. theres an uneasy feeling at about this point, though. the farther up they go, the stronger that feeling grows, to the point where the mental pressure could crush them completely. ceci doesnt need tricks like the other two do; she exercises power as her means of defense. its coupled with more disturbing paintings too, ones that depict things like the farm and the void. the lights get dimmer, theres less exhibits, and the final floor is just. empty. empty, and utterly lonely. what are you doing up here? theres nothing for you.

shes in the same boat as ortega, aka her thoughts Never shut up. shes creative and excitable, and its easy to get wrapped up in her thought processes. there doesnt tend to be repetition or circling, she doesnt stay on the same thought for very long.

Cynthia- you know the "you... are... lost in memories" line in rebirth? thats what cynthias mindscape is like. its a house thats an amalgamation of every home shes visited before: tia elenas, anathemas, and of course ortegas. it invites nostalgia. every object sends a person into memories, using the same system that nightmare loops do, but kinder. the memories are wrong, though. faces can get blurred, voices are distorted, and touch is especially difficult to get right. it can be disorienting to experience these loops, and they become nauseating if you spend too long in them. the house itself is a maze, and it feels like it goes on forever. none of the rooms repeat itself, but they cant be used as a marker either, because it never seems like you can go back to the same room you were in before. thats how cynthia protects herself– nothing is the same, everything is a trap, and when a person falls for it, she can safely extract them from her mind.

her thoughts are long, slow, and careful, and she often goes back to earlier thoughts to consider them further. her thoughts are twitchy too, theyre easily affected by her environment. theyre warm though, and i imagine feels like somebody reading a story to you

[shiftingtomydrs]

I've never read the Shatter Me series despite my friend telling me to so what's your dr like?

thanks so much for asking <3

i already made an introduction post for the dr which you can find here

spoiler alert under the cut for prolly all the books since my head likes to mix up what info is in which book

the shatter me series is set in a dystopian world, basically humans fucked the world up enough to more or less make it unliveable in (food was poisoned cos animals ate trash and shit e.g., illnesses like cancer were very common etc.) and then the re-establishment takes over. the re-establishment was elected by the people, promising to re-establish life as they knew it (spoiler alert: they didnt) and then took over the world, turning it into district 12 from the hunger games more or less, except its more technologically advanced (the technology is used to monitor civilians tho not to help them) while the psychopaths (really theres no better word, i dont even think that word is strong enough) at the top enjoy life

now more on my backstory (its basically just juliettes backstory from the books cos i dont have a creative bone in my body):

i was created by evie sommers (juliettes mother) whos also the supreme commander (kinda like president) of oceania in a petri dish out of her dna and maybe someone elses? idk but she modified the dna to basically make me the perfect specimen for her little project. my memories of all this are erased regularly btw so i dont talk about it to other people i coincidentally meet (this is before the re-establishment took over completely, which happens when im around 13-16?) bcs what shes doing is obviously lowkey illegal. anyway at some point (in my head when im around 4-5) she starts letting me play with the kids from the other future surpreme commanders (theres one for each continent) which is also where i get my name (as a project i dont need a name so evie never gave me one) which is juliette (its a bit complicated but basically juliette in the book is really called ella so for the sake of logic ill call her ella from now on and im juliette) and was given to me by aaron cos he likes shakespear and thought it fit me soo juliette it was. after evie discovers emmalines (ellas sister) abilities she decides to abandon me and puts me into a foster family similar to ella in the u.s. (for plots aka aaron and my love stories sake) and since theres this whole plot no-matter-how-many-times-they-erase-my-and-aarons-memories-we-always-fall-in-love-again anderson (aarons dad) thought itd be funny to make ellas undercover name juliette ferrars to see if itd make aaron change his mind (he does these fucked up little experiments for fun) or smth idk i dont understand that guy. anyway my powers (also in the introduction post) start manifesting when im like 10 or so and we have to move a lot after cos i cant control my powers yet. when im 14 it all escalates when i accidentally kill a classmate with my powers (he was an ass tho not to excuse my behavior but just wanted to add that) and after that my parents decide its best for them to give up guardianship for me and hand me over to the re-establishment / government. ella at this point already escaped her family to omega point before she ever touches that little boy in the grocery store. anyway the next few years are a lot of moving in between facilities and rehabilitation centers which ends with them locking me away in an asylum when im 16 and thats the point i shift to.

after that its mostly just the plot of the books which is i get pulled out of the asylum after a little less than a year on aarons orders, he wants to use me as a weapon for the re-establishment (but secretly not), i escape with adam (temporary love interest) and get to omega point along with kenji and then anderson takes 2 hostages from omega point and wants me as an exchange, i shoot him, we kidnap aaron, bla bla adam and i break up, aaron and i have this denial thing (from my side), aaron escapes, omega point fights against the re-establishment and gets defeated, anderson shoots me to teach aaron a lesson, i survive cos aaron saves me, we find the survivors of omega point, aaron gets them on base, we kill anderson and take over north america and then after that its the other books which are a bit more complicated but i can get into that too if anyone would like me to :)

now that i read it back its a tiny little bit confusing soo if you have any questions feel free to ask <3

[creepypasta-darling]

your upcoming mental illness hc post im really looking forwards to reading🖤 mental illness hcs in the fandom from what I read usually aren't in depth with the thought and care you seem to be putting in to yours. Thank you for deciding to make the upcoming HCs where you are taking mental illness so seriously and caring 🖤

you inspire me lots with your blog, you have my favorite hcs. I'm motivated to start my own crp HC blog now!🖤

make sure to take care of yourself & drink water, take meds if you have them, eat, and that you are valid 🖤

Thank you so much anon! I know it has been wayy longer than anticipated for this post, but it is extremely lengthy and I want to make sure that I have all information correct and proofread before posting. You absolutely should start your own headcanon blog! Honestly this blog is soo fun and I love talking to you guys and just letting my mind run free. This post gave me so much positivity, and I thank you so much for your kind words 💕💕

I try really hard to be 100% honest and respectful, especially towards mental health. Obviously everyone deals with it differently, and even though they are fictional characters, I want to treat everything with the respect and dignity they deserve. If you happen to see a mental illness you are unsure of in my post, I definitely suggest to look into it, because there is so much to discover about the brain and how it deals with trauma. It might even help someone close to you, or just give you insight. I know when I started researching mental health for people around me, I found things I was later diagnosed with by a doctor.

About the post/some fun facts about the post:

There is multiple characters in the post, with 3-4 bullet points each. Each bullet point is a little bit more than a paragraph.

I did include things such as childhood/early developmental disorders, which I only talk about in the bullet points.

Sally was originally going to be in the post, but I decided to remove her due to controversy. What I would have said may not have been suitable for some, and would most likely have been triggering. This was due to projecting. I didn't feel safe enough to continue her in the post. And decided to remove her. But for anyone wondering, I do headcanon her as autistic, ADHD, and pulling her hair/fidgeting with her body due to SA.

Papa Grande was supposed to be in the post, but I had too many illnesses to write for him, and he could be his own post in all honesty. I would like to explore this later, maybe in an ask or on my own time, and really flush out how I see his character.

Some of the things I headcanon are projecting, due to my own mental health issues. You'll probably tell who towards in the post, but I wanted to write characters as true as possible in a present day mansion type post. I do headcanon the mansion exists and that Slender does punishments/rewards, which just means he physically tortures people vs giving them better conditions. You'll notice this likely when I talk about the Proxies.

I would like to eventually make another post like this with more characters. Some of the characters that were not in this post but I would like to add later include Laughing Jill, Papa Grande, Sally, Sonic.EXE, Glitchy Red, Widemouth, and B.O.B.!

The post is veryyyy long, so finding the character you might want to read will be tricky. I do apologize for that. :(

I hope this might answer some questions on the weird timeline of the post. I planned on finishing it on 10/17 but there was so much to write I ran out of time, haha. I hope you feel this post is worth the wait, however!

Stay safe as well, and please make sure to take care of yourself, mind and body. If no one has said it today, I love you, I care for you, you are worthy, you are enough. I'm proud of you for doing the best you can today, even if it's just getting up to use the restroom. If you are not feeling well, it will all make sense again one day, every down has an up, and every dawn comes after the night. 💕💕💕

[inosukeslefttoe]

SO i just finished wonder egg priority and i think that with confidence i can say it has been one of my favorite animes like... ever ?? and not even from hyperfixation or obsession over it just... its so fucking real yet so simple in a way that i havent rlly seen shown in any other shows you feel ??

but first i wanna talk about how sexy the art and animation is real quick... HOMIE ITS SO GOOD LIKE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT JUST... serotonin... the characters are all so unique and iconic and fun but not over the top in their designs yknow ??? they seem like regular every day girls but they stand out and theyre all sO CUTE !!!! also i love how the style is like this soft bubbly slice of life lookin stuff with bright happy colors and the most beautiful scenes you could find but they also have the SICKEST fight scenes complete with whimsical animal helpers and terrifying villains and crazy weapons unique to each character. and the animation. god DAMN shawty i am obsessed with everything in this show. i might make a post solely about the art later lol bc i wanna get into the other stuff.

so the themes in the show right ?? it starts just as this cute lil magical girl kinda deal but within the first episode we see that like.. oh damn... thats kinda heavy... tbh i was a little shocked and thought about stopping bc yknow bad mental health BUT i was so intrigued that i had to keep going and i am SO GLAD that i did. because this show just so beautifully discusses all these heavy topics in such an eloquent and artistically expressive way. and also like, , the juxtaposition of the charming childlike vibe with bright colors and 14 yr old girl protagonists against the dark themes of suicide and so much else,, i think is just perfect. bc a lot of heavy animes are more of the seinen genre and have some middle aged dude as a protag or make the entire color palette dim or offer little relief to the pain of these heavy themes right ?? but NO not wonder egg bitches B) because these problems arent just things that ppl face later in life or just problems that need to be talked about among adults or the edgy seinen watching squad,, these are REAL problems that face people of every age, gender etc and i think its awesome that wonder egg addresses that. some may cringe at the thought of their high schooler watching animes that discuss sexual harassment, suicide, abuse, self harm, eating disorders etc,, but in reality it is the most comforting thing i have ever come across and is basically jsut free anime therapy. because not only does wonder egg present these themes to the viewers as something real that happens to all kinds of people (making said people feel heard in a way that maybe they hadnt before), but it also makes sure to vanquish all of these forms of trauma. and the way the trauma is vanquished isnt always beautiful and it isnt always just magically gone with a poof. the struggles of overcoming or living with that sort of thing are shown in such a real and relatable way that addresses every hardship trauma survivors have to go through. and i just. god i cry bro. 

oh m y GOD and the lgbtq+ rep in this show ?? like shawty... as soon as i saw episode one i was picking up on some gay/lesbian themes but then again im sapphic and project that a lot so i tend to see that sort of stuff like... everywhere... but NE WAYS... episode ten made me FUKCING CRY BRO LIke i cant believe there was a whole trans character with a whole trans pride hoodie like LKGHKDGH my heart is just so.. so fucking full thinking about him. bc like yeah i know there are trans characters in anime but i feel like theyre always very ambiguous about actually being trans or not or erased or portrayed as a harmful stereotype or theyre constantly misgendered and still refered to as their assigned gender at birth and i hate it. HOWEVEr... Kaoru.. *chefs kiss* it was so amazing to see a character straight up say “yeah im trans” in such a casual yet powerful way bc i personally have never seen that before. and i love love loved how he went into his backstory and talked to momoe about gender bc i think thats what she rlly needed and that it helped her find herself and it makes me so happy oh my god,, and the way they talked about it never seemed forced or like it was the focal point of his existence yknow ?? like yeah he existed to help momoe overcome some of her trauma but he also just existed to be HIM yknow ?? also... personally, i headcanon momoe as a trans girl even though i dont remember it being explicitly stated plus the school scenes of her and stuff would seem like they suggest otherwise ??but,,, SHAWTY THE AMOUNT OF SUBTEXT and her complicated relationship w gender is... something i feel like a cis girl would not go through so harshly yknow ?? with all of the questioning and feeling detached from femininity or feeling like ppl dont see her as an actual girl and only like her as a guy or for her masculine traits,,, but dont take my word on this bc i myself am a cis girl but that was just my take on it as someone in the lgbtq+ community trying to educate myself on the transgender community :) either way,, wonder eggs portrayal of momoe and kaoru and the way that momoe becomes so passionate about expressing herself the way she wants to as a girl is just... good lord im gonna cry its so perfect,,,.so ... i just love this show way too much. i also am honestly super lost about the relationship btwn acca and ura-acca ?? bc i was gonna mention ura-acca as a canonically gay guy bc when i was watching i interpreted ep 11 as him being in love with acca and being jealous of Azusa (bc i mean,, they lived together (i swear to god there was only one bed in that apartment) and had a daughter together and def loved each other and also when Frill said they were husbands and then when ura-acca said he wasnt attracted to azusa but he was def jealous of their relationship ??) but then i saw somewhere that theyre brothers ?? which would make sense ig since they look kinda similar and accas daughter called ura-acca “uncle”.. but at the same time its ANIME SO THEY ALL LOOK SIMILAR and referring to gay couples as siblings is an EXTREMELY common euphemism soooo... IM JUST LOST HERE... but yeah i tried doing research and found different things so i cant say anything for sure >:( however,,, if they are canonically a lil fruity for each other... when frill refered to acca as ura-accas husband i imploded dude you never hear that sort of wording in anime.. but if theyre related i am so sorry. 

god this is so much longer than i planned it to be oops but i also love the theme about like.. relying on friends to help carry your weight but at the same time not becoming completely dependent on those friends and using their support to learn how to love yourself and rely on yourself yknow ?? bc that is exactly what healthy friendships look like. bc i think ai sort of had a codependency thing goin on with koito maybe ?? but now she has a whole squad of funky friends that are so so different but all struggle with different kinds of trauma and although they fight over it, they always get through it with each other together. and they push each other no matter what to be the best versions of themselves and they teach other that getting hurt is okay because theyre always gonna be there to pick up the pieces no matter what happens. they can give each other space when they need and adapt to meet each others needs but theyre always able to balance it out with their own needs and thats such a beautiful thing in friendships especially at their age like damn i wish i had that maturity when i was 14 but no all i had was depression. another thing is that through these friendships you get to see all the different sides of each girl; you get to see them being strong or a shining light to their friends when theyre hurting but you also get to see them being hurt and weak and allowing themselves to be on the receiving end of the comfort. their friendships allows them to have weaknesses but it also allows them to highlight their strengths and thrive off of each others. I LOVE FRIENDSHIP DUDE

next i wanna briefly mention some of the themes connected to suicide that ive noticed. a big one is the survivors guilt that ai feels once koito is dead. several times she screams that she wishes she couldve gone with koito and she dreams of a “perfect world” where they committed a double suicide. one of the main reasons for her troubles is that she blames herself for koitos death and feels like it should be her thats dead... but at the same time she feels like too much of a coward to do anything now that koito is gone. she just has all these complex and contradicting feelings that wear away at her in ways that ppl that havent gone through the suicide of a loved one could never imagine. a lot of the times when things like this are portrayed in media i feel like its more in a way thats meant to guilt trip those that have taken their own lives and paint suicide as this selfish sin thats unforgivable but... not only does wonder egg reject that idea and instead portray it as a heartbreaking tragedy with,,, so so many terrible reasons, but it focuses on the feelings of ai separate from koito without blaming her in any way. not once did i feel like the show antagonized koito or that ai blamed koito for doing any of this, but they simply mourned her loss and touched on ais reaction towards the event but separate from koito herself if that makes sense. and i think that discussing survivors guilt without painting koito as the bad guy is something so beautifully done in wonder egg that can really resonate with those that have lost a loved one to suicide and have struggled with these same things.

okay i think this is the last thing ill mention,,, but HOMIE THE PARALLEL UNIVERSE BIT AT THE END. I AM. OBSESSED. i am such a whore for anything about the multiverse okay n e ways...,, not only did this make a super epic trippy ending of season one and add a little bit more magical girl whimsy to the show,, but it had such a powerful message. from the perspective of og ai,, finding out that you killed yourself in another world is... i mean its definitely not a surprise but at the same time it rlly makes you think how close og ai herself couldve been to that point and what decisions led her out of that dark place in her life. if i were in her shoes i would be terrified and id cry bc the thought of going back to such a dark place and actually going through with something like that is my worst fear and probably something that ai fears too. but at the same time,,, think from the perspective of ai two !!! like yeah its true that theres this awful terrible version of ai that dies but theres also a whole version of ai that is a superhero magical girl fighting off monsters to save countless ppls lives !! and she has a badass lizard and a gang of awesome friends !!! at first i was worried that ai two would be jealous of og ai and compare herself to her and feel inferior but like.. THEYRE LITERALLY THE SAME PERSON AND CAPABLE OF THE SAME THINGS !!! and ai two realized that !! just within the span of one episode, she went from the version of ai who took her life,, to the version of ai jumping in front of a friend to take a bullet for them and save their life. and that just inspired THE SHIT OUT OF ME. i think that ai was sent another version of herself to sort of beat her own worst enemy yknow ?? those doubts and fears that shes no good or that shes that same bystander from episode one and that she hasnt changed at all. but getting to interact with her parallel self and see her grow was just what she needed to realize that while yeah sometimes the worst thing can happen and things can be terrible but on the other hand sometimes the most wonderful thing imaginable can happen because she has the power to do either. 

so im gonna go ahead and stop rambling bc i got all my thoughts out that i wanted to for this post :D but yeah lol i might make another if i feel like it sometime. long story short: this show is perfect and it is going on my favorite of all times.

[softxhariana]

34+35 live stream

description: ariana’s live stream before debut of 34+35 remix music video.

word count: 2.22k

A/N: little piece based off this live stream that ariana did in the countdown to her releasing the 34+35 remix music video with doja and megan. obvs not included every question but just a few fun bits and harry mentions for you x

also disclaimer, this is NOT real, if u don't wanna read about these two then don't, i’m not tryna act like they’re together it is fiction.

❤ anywayz hope u enjoy luvs xox

❖   "HELLO EVERYONE! thank u for coming to this premier,” ariana smiled sweetly at the camera, as the video cut to a shot of her for the beginning of the countdown.

“we had so much fun making this 34+35 remix video for you, and uhh, we hope you love it.” she continued, playing with her hair. no matter how long she did this for she swore she would never cease to get slightly nervous in these situations. where it was her alone, in front of a camera. but her fans made her feel at ease, and she felt she owed them something, as she hadn’t done many quarantine interviews like other celebs have.

“i thought i would come celebrate and join the countdown with you guys. which is something that I've never done before, but i’m very happy to be here and i was very excited to get some questions from you all...” she held up the sheets of twitter questions she had received, “um that i’m gonna be answering while i’m here so, i cant wait to celebrate this together and countdown and answer some of your questions!” she finished with a smile.

and it was genuine. a real smile that her fans were thrilled to see.

ariana was genuinely so happy and content with her life right now. with her family, her music, her friends, harry. harry her FIANCE!! might she add.

everything just felt perfect, and after all the shit the last couple years had thrown her way, she appreciated the break.

 she got her love back, she was making music that she fully loved, and put her whole soul into, and she had fans who had stuck with her and supported her through some of the darkest times in her life, that were now able to experience her happiness and personal growth with her. so truly, little things like this, felt like the least she could do for them.

“ohh this is a good one because its 34 35 related” she tucked her hair behind her ears, “@noirgrande said ‘ummm its just i wanna the end of 34+35 is it awww shit or nooo shit, i just wanna sing the song right”

“umm it is indeed no shit” she confirmed, smiling matter of factly at the camera before reciting the closing line of the song.

~~~~~~~~~~~

“@arianalocks1223 said ‘will we get to see the track list before the songs release?’” she paused for a second to process - which turned into a few more seconds, she was a bit slow today. she had told harry with full sincerity that she thought it was because she was getting old but he had just cracked up at her absurd statement, and told her that if that was the case he’d still think she was a milf

“you will!” she nodded with certainty, “indeed. ummm... i can tell you them now” she blurted, oops.

“i suppose thats not like... is that against the rules? can i do that?” she turned, to question scooter who was supervising off camera, not wanting to get her label mad at her for releasing too much information, something she has a tendency to do. 

after getting the nod of reassurance from him she turned back to the camera, “so out of ‘POV’, you go into, um, an interlude called ‘someone like u’. after that is a song called ‘test drive’, after that is the 34/35 remix with doja and meg” she smiles lightly, “and after that is a song called ‘worst behaviour’, and after worst behaviour is... a song called ‘main thing’...” she finishes, a shy smirk forming on her face, dimples appearing, “so that’s the tracks.” 

continuing with the countdown, ariana felt her heart warm at the love her fans were giving her and this album. she loved interacting with them and making them happy and proud of her so knowing she had done just that, was an amazing feeling.

“umm hesbloodsline... @hesbloodsline ... i’m really fond of this question because its really to the point, ‘where's the pig and where the fuck is harry?’” she smiled, holding in a laugh.

“piggy’s here, she's great, she's really doing so well and life is really good for her right now, she's really thriving and doing her thing” she ranted, a hint of sarcasm in her voice, “um, i make her big salads everyday that she likes, she's doing really great. she asked me to stop posting her as much because she's actually really offended by a lot of your jokes that you make on twitter, she asked me to have a word with you guys” she continued to joke, well aware that she probably found herself more funny than anyone else did right now.

“she doesn't like the jokes about being eaten, they really hurt her, umm yeh, and she asked me to convey that... no she’s great...” she finally decided to answer, “and harry, is on set today, so um, yeh thats where he is... but don't worry i will tell him to keep you in the loop, i’ve got you” 

ariana unconsciously let a small smile take over her glossed lips when talking about harry. he had been so excited about this new project and seeing him passionate and happy about anything he’s doing, always made her happiest.

~~~~~~~~~~~

“nicole! @nastyctrl. nicole said ‘who helped come up with the concept for the positions music video, love u sm ari’ love you so much to, i love you so much more” she paused, she loved this story,

“um this is actually a really funny story, dave and i had been going back and forth on several different concepts, and i couldn't, like... marry one... i couldn't really, like, really commit to one, i wasn't 100% sold. and it was missing a certain element of empowerment. and i kept, you know, trying to think of things that would make it more impactful cause i wasn't loving what we had...”

“anddd then me and harry were on this huge hike, and he just turned to me and was like, ‘what if you were the president?’ which was like, not at all fitting cause i was dying and complaining the whole time. but i was like,” she tried to imitate a shocked face through her smile and laughed 

“and when i called dave he was like ‘oh... kay, ill call you guys back’ and had the whole production team redo everything, and i had mimi pull completely different outfits and we completely started over cause that idea was what i was, craving and missing. and i was like, wow, thats so perfect” she smiled, shrugging her shoulders, “so yeh, honorary directing credit to harry styles, if you liked that”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

“this is from @borderlinevinyl, who said ‘how much of the album was recorded at your little home studio?’ ummm..” she sang, looking off camera in thought, everything in quarantine had honestly just blurred into one so she was struggling to remember what exactly she recorded where,

“um... a lot of it was... i think i did parts of everything here and parts of things at tommy's i know i did, um, the final chorus ad-libs for positions at home” she began listing in her head, “i know i did all of off the table at home... i know i did the final chorus of my hair at home because we- i-” oops. she had to control the laugh threatening to leave her lips at the lack of subtlety in her correction

“-i got out of the shower and he was like ‘oh your whistles are really here right now’, and i was like y’know what... yeahh they are aren’t they” she laughed as she squinted her eyes and recited that part of the conversation, even trying to imitate his deeper accent.

she had been singing in the shower - as she always did - and harry joining her never seemed to stop her from belting out any whitney or old one direction classic she wanted to. he would even join in sometimes and they'd end up with their own mini concert, dancing around naked, shampoo and conditioner bottles in hand singing their hearts out to everything from high school musical to nicki minaj to fleetwood mac.

while it felt like too bold of statement to make as she truly revelled in and enjoyed everything they did together, showering with him was truly one of her favourite’s. whether it was steamy shower sex that had all glass surfaces in the room fogging up or letting loose and dancing and singing under the pouring water, every moment felt so intimate and sacred. it truly made her feel like they were they only people in the world. 

of course he would claim she was out singing him every time she whistled and would jokingly try to replicate the note but he was truly just in awe off the sounds that came from her mouth (in all senses of the word;)

"-and so i opened ‘my hair’ and just randomly did that” she continued, “um what else did i do here, i did the a lot of the backgrounds and ad-libs for 34+35 here, um, obvious was done at home, a lot of six-thirty was done at home”

caught in her own thoughts she only realised she had probably been droning on for too long when she caught scooters eye across the room and with a blush she shook her head as if to clear it, “this is an annoying answer, everything was kind of all over the place but i did a lot, a lot, a lot of the vocals for the album at the house" she finally finished the long answer, moving on quickly as she realised she didn't have long until the premiere and she wanted to answer as many of the questions as possible.

“ok, second last question from hannah, ever- @everdxystxless, im sorry i don't know how to pronounce that” she laughs looking up at the camera with wide eyes, not sure how exactly how she was supposed to go about pronouncing the username, 

“im sorry, um, but anyway she say’s ‘ari baby, how do you feel about harry getting to do a movie with florence pugh, we know your a big fan of hers, ps. i love you so much!’ well hannah, i love you too” she replies, as she thinks back to when harry first introduced the two, after she had gotten over the initial fangirling, the pair became amazing friends. florence struck ariana as such a genuine, loving person and they shared the same dry sense of humour. plus ariana might of been just a little obsessed with her accent - not that she would ever admit that and scare the girl off.

“and... um, yeah, it literally, made me beyond happy, i was fully like, fangirling when i met her the first time” she laughs as she plays with her hair, “she honestly, probably was like, ‘who the fuck is this girl? what is she doing?’”ariana imitated, a faux scared/weirded out look on her face, playing the part of a mildly pissed off florence - which she luckily had never been on the receiving end of, “im sure i was being the opposite of subtle about it but, no, she really truly is the sweetest, kindest, most beautiful, talented human being” she emphasises, the thought of any news outlets of fan’s trying to spin a ‘jealousy’ story about this making her internally role her eyes,

“midsommar is, like, one of my all time favourite movies, and she's amazing in it, and harry’s like so fucking lucky its crazy. so yeah, thats insane”

~~~~~~~~~

"...so yeah... thank you so much! this was so much fun!” ariana exclaimed as she wrapped up the Q&A, smiling wide at the camera, she knew her fans were going to love the music video and she couldn't wait for them to watch it, plus interacting with them in this way always made her happy.

“i love you guys, i miss you” she reminded, “i am so appreciative of everything you've done for this album, for these singles, for this music. i hope that, um, that this makes you super happy, i hope it makes you smile...we had so much fun shooting it and um, the girls are so fantastic, so i hope you love this and i hope you love the deluxe!” 

ariana didn't know how many more ways she could say thank you and express her gratitude but she still had over a minute and a half so she’d have to come up with something, even if it meant she’d sound like a broken record

“i am so thankful for everything and for the love that you've shown this music i cant even begin to articulate it properly so, thank you! i appreciate it so much” she breathed out all in one, “but anyway, the video should be starting soon, so... i hope you like it, don't refresh! it’ll be here soon... i promise... just don't refresh” she urged dramatically, she was really dragging this out, “but yeh” she got out through laughs “the video should be starting anytime now, i love you guys” she blew a kiss to the camera before moving as close to the lens as possible “byee”.

🖤 there u go!! i hope you liked it, and any feedback would always always be welcomed and so so appreciated pls and thanku x 

[melforbes]

seaglass blue annotations

hello! i just posted the last chapter and thought i’d put together some ~fun context~ for that fic. it got way way more attention than i ever expected and for something i feel i didn’t put that much effort into i think i did in the end put a lot of effort into it so i might as well talk about it and answer some potential questions.

my favorite book of all time is the sunlit night by rebecca dinerstein (yes, that one) and something i find really compelling about that book is how sparing the prose is, forcing the reader to fill in certain gaps, and i think having to fill in those gaps makes the book a really acquired taste with which either you love it or hate it and there’s not really an in-between

i also really adore how in that book the natural world backdrop comes to life, something i find really challenging to write. recently i even read into thin air, the book about the 1996 mount everest disaster, and even though the writing was superb, i still had to google what the hillary step was because i couldn’t picture it on my own. i don’t know how people write nature because to me it feels damn near impossible, but this sparing approach really worked, so i thought i might try it out. i tend to be longwinded (gestures vaguely at this post) and wanted to have certain parts of this be a lot smaller and more contained without negating impact. whether or not i made it work is anyone’s guess. definitely not my normal style, so to speak

based on the comments i’ve received i think this might be everyone’s favorite part. in my mind age of consent by new order was playing in the background. in pretty much every fic i have a scene like this one and all of them are based on the poem first base gold by rh*annon mcg*vin from her book branches (censored because she has a tumblr and i don’t want her seeing this haha)

i absolutely can’t do the poem justice by describing what it’s about, but the simplest, most basic interpretation of the poem is that there is no better place to kiss than right here, right now, because of the past. i really like that imagery and tend to use it a lot. she as a writer has been a big inspiration for me and if you’ve read my fic true minds i should add that the nonfiction inspiration for that was directly as a result of one of her youtube videos. i particularly love how the last paragraph (stanza? im not a poet) is one big run-on sentence that’s jovial and tongue-in-cheek and colloquial and straightforward. it feels triumphant in a quiet way to me and i love how it’s done. obviously my attempts at something similar are nowhere near as insightful, but still, the most basic image of this is that there is no better place to kiss, and that’s how i felt about the two of them finding pudding in the supermarket

this part is autobiographical; while writing this last year, i went through six months of intravenous drug treatment, a month and a half of which involved long days of doctor visits on every weekday. when you’re on stuff like that for a long time you end up with a central line for better access (potential plot hole in all of this: scully never had one) but for a month and a half i got poked almost every day and strangely enough it got harder over time. the first couple you never feel, but a week or two later you start flinching, and if the needle goes in the same vein each time, it hurts the more it gets prodded. i reached a point toward the end of the in-office visits in which i would bleed a lot every time i got poked, and i can’t watch anything like that happen to me so i was looking away each time, and when i felt that the nurse was done, i would look back over, and sometimes i would be looking down at a pool of blood that i hadn’t expected to see. it’s weird, you don’t actually feel yourself bleeding, i would’ve expected a hot bloody feeling but instead it felt like nothing. and when i say a pool i mean that it would drip down beneath my elbow, stain the sheet they’d put underneath, and i wouldn’t get all of it off until i showered. i didn’t necessarily find it scary, but it was surreal and kind of pulled me out of normalizing the experience i was having. for a very long time needing iv drugs was my greatest fear and i was surrounded by that then and fine, and then, there was blood all over my arm, and like, haha, this is actually not fine. you’d think something else would’ve been scarier, but it wasn’t. and now looking back at this paragraph i wish i’d edited it differently but hey that’s life

i’d never really understood the purpose of religion as a self-driven part of life until i took anatomy in college. i was raised catholic and though culturally i understand having a religion and being raised with one, i’ve never really reached for religion when i wanted answers, and i haven’t personally understood why that’s someone’s first option. and i know there’s been plenty of commentary on the hypocrisy of dana scully as a catholic who believes in science, yada yada yada, i think everyone has read all of that by now. but what struck me while learning anatomy is that there is a kind of neuron we don’t know the function of. there are four kinds of neurons, and one of them is still a mystery to us. and then, there’s all of these different parts of human bodies that exist in a certain perfect way, but why do they exist like that? to support life, yes, but why is it that we can make comparisons? why were irises not the same color? and we name valves of the heart after religious figures. we are so hell-bent on meaning that something literal will never be enough. and all of that made me think that dana scully has god to fill in what science won’t answer, at least not yet. and there’s definitely a bigger conversation about science as denial of indigenous cultures that i am nowhere near qualified to start. after taking those classes, i think i would be more shocked if she wasn’t religious. you can ignore pretty much all of the paragraph above but it was important to me that at some point in this fic she willingly conceded that she didn’t know what would happen and that she didn’t have answers. with illness, there is no logic, there’s no thinking your way out of it, and i think that would plague her for a long time. to me, she only would accept her death when she could say she had no idea what would happen, she has no answers, there’s nothing filling in her gaps anymore, and she’s comfortable with that. and i put all of that in a paragraph about my thoughts on god because it made sense to me. there are times that just feel like you’re in a movie and there’s no one else you can say caused them. it’s not enough to build belief on but it’s enough to bring a certain kind of wonder. also one time my parents insisted on watching stripes because it was so funny and when watching it none of us found it funny at all and my parents grimaced and were like what were we on that made that good back in the day so that’s in here now haha

and now, the biggest question: does she die at the end? when i came up with the idea for this fic, i knew the beginning and ending but not the middle, and i posted this as a smaller project (ie: chapters below 3,000 words) while illness made my bigger projects harder to work on and essentially flew by the seat of my pants the whole time. i wrote the last line a long long time ago and have always seen the ending as written as the concrete ending. when i started writing this, i never intended for there to be a definitive answer to whether or not she dies. i like premature endings (the ending of girls burn brighter comes to mind) and i think that this works better without saying whether or not she lives. and i also have a hard time with giving a definitive answer because this fic very much is about death and having her die would, of course, be traumatic, but showing her living instead i think ruins any takeaways people could have. i’ve never had cancer but as a chronically ill person i think i can speak to how you never actually win with illness; the best you can do is tie, and sometimes, no matter how much effort you put in, you “lose” anyway, you lose spectacularly, and all of your effort was for nothing. i wholeheartedly believe that humans can’t emotionally or logically process natural disasters or illness, hence why much of the talk about illness in this is from mulder’s perspective as he experiences her terminal illness secondhand; that way, he doesn’t need to (but still likely will) find logic or reason or meaning for death from a terminal illness, so his discoveries and his coping mechanisms aren’t as urgently needed. had i written a chapter that describes how she lives, i think that the discussion of death in this would be voided altogether. and i also don’t believe the ending would be much different whether she lives or dies; there’s still the need for death acceptance and talking about dying, whether or not she lives, and none of the story in this fic would have happened had the characters known she would live. the whole point is not knowing.

for a little while i toyed with writing an unofficial sequel of sorts in which i spelled out what i think happens after the ending, but after realizing that that would end up being longer than the original fic and would also have some massive plot holes, i decided against it. i do have my own version and i don’t want to share that version because i never really intended for my version to be some kind of genuine sequel in which every question gets answered and everything is wrapped up and happy ever after and whatnot. it was just where my brain wandered in the same way it wanders when i watch an open-ended movie. all of that to say, if you think she lives, then she lives. if you think she dies, then she dies. it’s your decision. i’d much rather you choose than me. i never marked this as “major character” death on ao3 because, well, she doesn’t die in this fic. whether or not she dies after the fic ends, that’s for you to decide. 

thank you for taking the time to read my writing. i never expected this to blow up (it blew up for me at least, for a while it was my most popular fic ever, with i think thousands more hits than anything else i’d written) and the response has been mind-boggling and wonderful. i don’t respond to comments often because it makes me feel like a pompous jerk (”thank you for enjoying this! i, too, enjoy this thing i have written! oh ho ho!” is how it sounds to me in my head, whereas when other writers respond to comments to me it just looks like thanks man have a good day, feel free to call me a weenie) but i’ve appreciated all of them very much. THANK YOU! i hope your new year is a Whole Lot Less Shit than 2020. i don’t plan on writing more msr because i don’t really have any ideas for them. thank you for making my last time special <3

[livesincerely]

it’s so easy (too easy) to love you, ch. 1

Also on Ao3

00000

Davey’s just gotten out of class—literally just walked out the door—when his phone starts ringing.

“Davey,” Tony says the moment he answers, not even giving Davey time to say hello, “can you swing by the apartment real quick?”

Davey sighs. “Are you locked out of the house again?”

There’s a guilty silence. Then, “Or maybe I just wanna see you, huh? You don’t know.”

“Tony.”

“Charlie’s the one that lost the spare,” Tony capitulates immediately, there’s an indignant “Hey!” somewhere in the background, “and I left my keys in my locker ‘cause I thought Charlie had his—”

There’s a scuffle of noise, then Charlie’s voice breaks in, “—don’t listen to him Davey, I asked him before we even got on the subway if he had his keys and he said he did but he didn’t even check—”

“—well, I thought you had yours, didn’t I?—”

“—and he was twenty minutes late picking me up from band practice because he was too busy making out with Spot Conlon to come help me carry my stuff—”

“—that was supposed to be a secret you little shit!”

“—you started it!”

Davey pulls the phone away from his ear as the other side of the line descends into a mess of indistinct yelling. He thinks about trying to get their attention, but he decides to just start heading towards the apartment, muting his side of the call while he waits them out—they’ll remember him eventually.

In the meantime, Davey sends a quick text:

Tony and Charlie locked themselves out of the house again

He’s not expecting a response, but Jack must be in-between projects because he gets one almost immediately.

jc again?

And you’re going to have to get a new spare made

fuck okay i’ll take care of it. are you heading over?

I’m walking there now

ur the light of my life dave

Davey can’t help but smile at this, a soft feeling fluttering in his chest. Before he can write back, Jack sends another text:

how did ur midterm go?

I feel good about it! Def did better than I thought it would!

duh youve been living in the library all week ofc ur gonna do great. ill swing by the grocery omw home and pick up some ice cream to celebrate. do we need anything else while im there?

Get a bell pepper and some tomato paste, I’m going to make spaghetti for dinner. And we need more laundry detergent.

fuck yes im starving! can we do garlic bread too?

Come home on time and we’ll see.

u drive a hard bargain. kerian owes me a favor so he can stay late tonight lol

“Davey?” The sound of Charlie’s voice, tinny and muffled, prompts Davey to lift his phone back to his ear; it seems like he might’ve been calling Davey’s name for a while. “Are you still there?”

“I’m still here,” Davey confirms.

“So are ya comin’ or what?” Tony cuts in, ever impatient. “I’m roasting out here!”

“Well, I was thinking about leaving you to ruminate on your poor life choices,” Davey responds dryly, “but I guess I can come let you in, since you asked so nicely.”

“Thanks, Davey,” Charlie says.

“I’ll be there soon,” Davey confirms.

“Hurry, will ya? Much longer and I’m gonna get heatstroke and die,” Tony declares.

Davey rolls his eyes. “Goodbye, Tony.”

00000

When he arrives at Jack’s building some twenty minutes later, Davey finds Tony and Charlie right where he expects them: crowded together in the little bit of shade the roof’s overhang offers, wearing identical grumpy expressions that brighten immediately when they spot him approaching.

"Finally!" Tony exclaims, shooting to his feet. "What took you so long?"

“Stop losing your keys and you won’t have to wait for me,” Davey counters, slotting his key into the deadbolt and hefting open the heavy exterior door. He props it open with his hip and lets Tony and Charlie scurry past him into the AC. “You couldn’t get anyone to buzz you in?”

“Old Man Davis hasn’t gotten his hearing aid replaced yet,” Charlie explains as they climb the stairs up to the second floor, “and Mrs. Ikeda isn’t home.”

“She joined a new book club,” Tony adds. “She won’t be back till late.”

“Oh, I’ll have to ask her about it when I see her next,” Davey muses.

He gets the apartment door unlocked and the boys pile inside, tossing their backpacks down with dramatic groans of relief.  Charlie makes a beeline for his bedroom; Davey expects Tony to do the same but he takes a seat at the kitchen table instead, booting up his laptop with a couple of keystrokes.

“I’ve got a paper due in English tomorrow,” Tony explains. “Can you look it over once it’s finished? Maybe later this evening”

“Of course,” Davey replies. “What’s it on?”

“Lord of the Flies.”

Davey’s nose wrinkles up. “Oh, I hated that one. What’s the essay prompt?”

“Identify Golding’s argument about human nature as proposed in Lord of the Flies,” Tony reads off the top of the assignment outline. “Then make an argument agreeing or disagreeing with his assessment, using evidence from the text.”

Davey rolls his eyes. “Good to see that high school literature classes haven’t changed much in the last few years,” he says with a sigh. “How much have you written so far?”

“Oh, I haven’t even started it yet,” Tony casually rebuts.

“Is everything going okay?” Davey asks, frowning slightly. “If things are getting worse we can make an appointment—”

But Tony waives his concerns aside. “Nah, this is regular old procrastination, not ADHD procrastination. Like ya said, Lord of the Flies sucks ass, so I just didn’t want to write it.”

“Well, let one of us know if you start having trouble,” Davey says.

"Okay, mom,” Tony agrees, somewhat distracted. He’s already got a blank document pulled up on his laptop, a battered and thoroughly dog-eared copy of the book laying open beside him.

Davey looks at him for another moment, then he shrugs and continues making his way into the kitchen—he figures there’s no need to worry unless Racer starts actually missing assignments. And he’s right: Lord of the Flies does suck ass.

By the time Jack gets home they’re each fully entrenched in different activities: Davey’s washed a sink full of dishes and is working on drying the last few pieces of silverware, Tony is still posted up at the kitchen table, carefully hammering out a draft of his paper, and there are the familiar sounds of Charlie working through different musical scales on his oboe in the back bedroom.

“Honey, I’m home!” Jack calls jokingly as he enters. There’s a rustle of plastic and soft thunk of the front door closing behind him, then he comes around the corner into the dining room with an armful of groceries.

“Hey, Jack,” Davey greets absently. He starts rifling through the bags almost before Jack can finish putting them down. “Did you get the tomato—?”

“I got the tomato paste,” Jack says, kicking off his shoes and leaving them in the entryway with all the others, “and I picked up some more of that fancy coffee you like from the place around the corner, even though it’s expensive as all hell.”

“Don’t judge me,” Davey replies, gathering up an armful of vegetables and carrying them further into the kitchen. “You spend a semester grading 'Intro to Shakespeare' homework and tell me how much caffeine you consume.”

“I’m just saying, the rest of us schmucks drink regular coffee and do just fine,” Jack continues. “You can feed your crippling caffeine addiction just as well with Folgers and it’ll cut down on the grocery bill.”

“Watch it, Kelly,” Davey says, pointing a finger teasingly in Jack’s direction. “Smartasses don’t get dinner.”

“‘s that so?” Jack asks with a grin. “Then why the hell are we still feeding Tony?”

“I heard that,” Tony grumbles from the kitchen table.

“Yeah, you were supposed to,” Jack says, moving over to Tony and slinging an arm around his shoulders, pulling him into a side hug. Tony bats at Jack’s hand but makes no real attempt to get away. Then Jack says, “So, I hear you and your brother lost another set of keys.”

Tony throws Davey a look of the deepest betrayal. “You told Jack?”

“Of course he did,” Jack says. “Someone’s gonna have to get new ones made, and it sure ain’t gonna be either half of the dynamic duo.”

“Charlie lost the spare,” Tony says, mercilessly throwing Charlie under the bus while he’s not in the room to defend himself. “And I didn’t lose my keys, I just left them in my locker.”

“Uh huh, save it for the judge,” Jack responds, ruffling Tony’s hair. “Just know if I end up having to change the deadbolt, it’s coming outta your subway money.”

“Jackie, leave Tony alone,” Davey comments mildly over Tony’s spluttering protests. “He needs to work on that paper and you’re distracting him.”

“Yeah, Jack,” Tony repeats, a little smug. “You’re distracting me.”

Davey turns to look at him, one eyebrow raised. Tony quickly busies himself with his homework.

Davey makes quick work of washing a green pepper and peeling an onion, then starts dicing both into small, neat pieces. He feels more than hears Jack sidle up behind him: the familiar weight of his gaze, the solid presence at his back. He stands there quietly, leaning against the counter-top and just watching Davey cook; unbothered, Davey leaves him be for the moment and moves to the stove, scraping the chopped vegetables off the cutting board and into a pan to start softening.

After a few minutes of comfortable silence, Davey glances over his shoulder at Jack and says, “Are you just going to stand there or are you going to help me with this? You know there’s no loitering in my kitchen.”

“Well, I’m nothin’ if not a law abidin’ citizen,” Jack drawls in answer, the corner of his mouth quirking up. He rolls up his shirt sleeves, exposing the long, muscular line of his forearms, and washes his hands in the kitchen sink. “Where do you want me?”

Davey licks his lips. “Think you can handle browning the hamburger?”

“I’m sure I can manage,” Jack responds with a smirk.

Davey steps out of the way, letting Jack take his place in front of the sauce pan while he gets a pot of water set up on a different burner, salting it so it boils faster. They settle into their familiar dinner-routine, moving around and past each other with ease as they work on getting everything ready, chattering idly all the while.

“I’ve gotta head back out this evening,” Jack says at one point, as he sets the tray of garlic bread in the oven to toast. “Johnson’s got me working a night shoot and I have to be downtown by 9.”

“How long is the session?” Davey asks. “Here, will you open this?”

“We’re scheduled for five hours, but we might get to wrap it up early if everything goes well.” Jack’s hand brushes against the small of Davey’s back and they trade places again, Davey stepping back up to the stove-top and Jack rifling around in one of the drawers for a can opener.

“Are ya spendin’ the night or are ya headin’ back to campus?”

“Depends on how much help Tony needs with his paper,” Davey replies, shaking his head. He takes the can when Jack hands it back to him and empties it into the saucepan, then gives the whole thing a good stir. “We might be at it a while.”

Jack huffs out a laugh. “Well, if you do spend the night, go ahead and take the bed. The extra blankets are in the usual place.”

Davey sets down the spoon he’s holding, crossing his arms across his chest. “Jack,” he says warningly.

“Davey,” Jack echoes back in the exact same tone of voice. In the background there’s the faint sound of Tony muttering, “Jesus, not this again.”

“Jack, I’m not gonna kick you out of your bed,” Davey says, rehashing the same old argument for what feels like the millionth time. “I’m perfectly fine taking the couch.”

“Or you could do the smart thing and just take the bed,” Jack counters as he always does. “I’m not even gonna be here to use it.”

“You’ll want an actual mattress when you get home, especially if you’re out late.” Davey argues. “I don’t even have class tomorrow, it’ll be fine.”

“If you don’t take the bed I’ll just carry you in there once I get back,” Jack says, as if that's a perfectly reasonable course of action. “So you might as well save me the trouble.”

Davey sputters. “That’s not— You can’t just— That only happened a couple of times!” he finally gets out.

"Well, actually, it's been more like four or five times," Jack says with a smirk. "But hey, who's counting?"

"That trick won't keep working," Davey grumbles, feeling the back of his neck start to heat up.

“You sleep like a fucking rock, Dave,” Jack says, rolling his eyes. “Why wouldn’t it keep working?”

“No, see, that’s exactly why I should take the couch,” Davey insists. “It’s not like the sound of you coming in will wake me up—”

Jack turns to face him. Davey cuts off, slightly startled—he hadn’t realized they were standing so close to each other.

“Just take the bed, Davey,” Jack all but orders, and those dark eyes with that low voice are a heady combination. “Please?”

Davey bites at his lower lip, suddenly flustered. “Fine,” he reluctantly concedes, hoping Jack will attribute his flushed face to the heat of the kitchen. “Just this once.”

"Thank you," Jack says with a dramatic heave of his chest, looking much too pleased with himself. "Now that wasn't so hard, was it?"

"You're letting the garlic bread burn," Davey answers tartly.

"Oh shit—!"

00000

Later that evening, after they’ve all finished eating and have cleaned up, Davey, Tony, and Charlie are still gathered around the table, working on various assignments.

Davey is finishing the readings for his Monday lecture in between helping Tony finalize the exact wording of his essay. Charlie sits opposite him, working through his geometry homework and every so often there’s a huff of breath and the rubbery scratch of an eraser—Davey makes a mental note to swipe some more pencils and notebook paper from the grad lounge when he’s there next.

Davey notices the time and frowns. “Jack,” he calls out, “it’s already 7:30. If you don’t leave soon you’re gonna be late for work.”

There’s a clamor of noise from down the hall, then Jack appears, freshly showered and fumbling to put on his socks and button up a clean shirt at the same time.

“Fuck, Johnson is gonna kill me,” Jack grumbles. He pats down his pockets, then groans. “Christ, has anyone seen my—”

“Your wallet and keys are on the counter by the microwave,” Davey says, pointing. “And take a jacket, it’s supposed to rain later.”

“Great, I’m sure the models will love that,” Jack says with a groan. “Hopefully we’ll be able to get through everything without getting rained out.”

He meanders his way over to the table, peering at Charlie’s homework from over his shoulder. “If Tony is still busy and ya get stuck, text me,” Jack tells him. “I probably won't be able to answer right away, but if ya send me a picture of the problem I can probably talk ya through it between shots.”

Charlie hums his acknowledgment, still scribbling furiously. Jack turns to Tony.

“Listen to whatever Davey tells you about your paper,” he advises. “The only reason I got through undergraduate writing was ‘cause Davey proofread all my shit before I turned it in.”

“I thought I was s’pposed to always listen to Davey,” Tony says distractedly, tongue poking out between his teeth as he types.

Jack pauses, considering. “Yeah, just do that.”

“Jack—”

“Oh, and Dave cooked, so you shitheads better do the dishes, get me?”

“Jack, you’re gonna be late,” Davey cuts in firmly, holding out Jack’s jacket for him.

“Alright, I’m going,” Jack says, shrugging it on, and he finally starts making moves towards the door.

He gives Charlie one last pat on the shoulder and cuffs Tony lightly across the back of the head in a slightly rougher, but no less affectionate goodbye, which is per usual. Then he turns to Davey, tips his chin up, and kisses him right on the mouth, short and sweet.

“Lock the door behind me and don’t forget to—” Jack stops mid-sentence, then turns bright red.

“Um,” says Charlie.

“Holy shit,” says Tony.

Jack’s mouth opens and closes soundlessly. Finally, he stammers out, “I u-uh— I-I d-didn’t mean—“

Davey doesn’t respond. He couldn’t, even if he wanted to—he’s frozen in place, his mind a sudden wash of static. For a moment, they just stare at each other. Then Jack blurts, “gottagoseeyoulaterbye,” and bolts out the front door.

Davey’s not sure how long he stands there, staring blankly into space, utterly dumbfounded.

“Davey?” Charlie asks hesitantly. “Are you okay?”

There’s a strangled, choking noise. A split second later, Davey realizes it’s coming from him.

"...What just happened?"

[harry5232860]

Week 7

Image 1 - I started this task by drawing my orthographic projection of the bottle. I decided to use a shape from one of my initial sketches rather than final task for week 5 as i though the cutout middle section would come out interesting in a 3 dimensional model.

I also included a section for the middle of the bottle so i could create a template of the solid are from this section in order to shape the cutout midsection area of the design and the top view template would allow me to do the opposite side. 

I found im getting a bit faster at making the orthographic and finding that i now tend to piece together all of the steps necessary before attacking the page with pencil.

Image 2 - These are the initial templates that i will use to create my object out of foam, at the top can be seen the two templates created from the top view and section view. These will be transferred onto cardboard in order to add some more rigidity to the templates in order to have them act more accurately and easily.

Image 3 - I started construction by cutting it rough into shape. I was lucky to have a few tools around as ive been also shaping a surfboard recently and a lot of these tools transfer over well to the blue foam although many are too large to be useful also. I used a push pull saw for these initial cuts and I would recommend this tool to others as well as it was quite cheap at Bunnings, is flexible and the teeth are quite fine so it can do some semi detailed cuts if used slow enough.

Image 4 - As the basis of my form is a rectangular prism I decided to make a squared sanding block so that I could use the flat factory side of the foam to start and press it against the side of the block and sand down all other faces to match. This is another tool I had from surfboard blank shaping however I had to make this one smaller than the ones I had handy.

This block also worked well for sanding off all the edges as it could rest against the non-sanding side and flatten each sharp edge. I then rounded off the flattened edges with a flexible sanding pad as being flexible it naturally attacked any high points and seemed to do a lot of the work for me.

The major thing I found in this step was to go slow. I could always take more foam off but making foam reappear would be something of a challenge I believe.

Image 5 - Something else I learnt through learning about surfboard shaping was to use masking tape as a guide for where you do not want to sand. The masking tape is a visual guide but also doesn’t sand through too easily with fine grit paper ive found.

Image 6 - I realised sanding out that small area for the indentation area would be quite difficult. My solution was to update my trusty right angle block and glue some sandpaper to one of its smaller edges. This meant I could run this edge down along the sandpaper and move it side to side to sand out the desired area. The extra template I made came in handy her. Smoothing off worked well again with the flexible pad.

Image 7 - Overall im quite happy with how it turned out. I only had spakfilla on hand so Polyfilla would have worked a little better hopefully. Looking back I think having a very small rectangular extrusion or piece of timber as a sanding block would��ve helped square up the tiny edges on the indentation and made them just that little bit more square and clean. The overall form however im quite happy with.

Ive always found reduction methods of creation quite challenging as I always have to slow myself down and not take too much off or force myself to restart the whole piece. Im quite happy with how I paced myself on this one and it was a good lesson in the idea of being slightly over-prepared with the tools at hand as its hard to know from the beginning what will help the most.

With the model itself, i found the final 3 dimensional form to be a fair bit bulkier than it appeared on paper, perhaps smaller in all aspects would be nicer. I also found that although i was following the templates i was adjusting the model as well as i went to what naturally felt better or looked more pleasing. Overall a relaxing experience in terms of a class activity. 

*From the class feedback i have noted that ill need to diversify my tool selection for model making. My next model making purchase will be a set of rasp files to add in more complex features in a more efficient manner.

[negasonicimagines]

Gladdest (Soulmate AU)

For this, I’ll be using the soulmate AU where what happens to your soulmate’s body happens to you. I’m not sure who originally came up with this. Basically, how it works, is like, if your soulmate gets punched in the face, you feel like you’ve been punched in the face. If your soulmate dies, you don’t die, but you feel it. Same with broken bones, you’ll feel it, but your arm won’t actually be broken. But not just pain, other stuff. Like if your soulmate cries, you’ll feel it, but you don’t cry unless they’re super heartbroken, or if they get a really good hug you feel it, too. In my version of this AU, the pain and other feeling doesn’t start until you turn sixteen. Imagine how fucked up it would be if that wasn’t the case and you had a partner older than you? Like, while 13-year old Bill gets in a fight, his soulmate, who is only 3, feels the same punches and kicks. It’d be so fucked up.

warnings: nsfw (but no actual sex, just a lot of talking about it [and masturbation] and some sexually tense scenes), the reader nearly has a panic attack (again, i know, sorry. what can I say? I project), & reader has a thing for.... erotic asphyxiation. let me know if i missed anything.

I am very open to writing a part two with smut... I just chickened out with this because I felt it wouldn’t be good writing.

You’d been sixteen for a little while now, and there hadn’t been much contact from your soulmate aside from the occasional feel of a phone falling on your face and smacking it.

It’s the beginning of a new school year at Xavier’s, and you’re pretty thrilled. Your roommate this year is your best friend, Ellie. Okay, not just your best friend, she’s your crush, too. Do I really have to say, at this point?

“Hey,” she greets you, sounding rather sullen as she enters your dorm, where you sit on the edge of your bed.

“What’s up?” you ask.

“I turned sixteen over the summer and I haven’t felt anything to give me a hint. All my soulmate does is cry.”

“All my soulmate does is drop their phone on their face,” you offer a complaint in return, and the two of you lock eyes for a moment, one of realization.

“No,” Ellie says. “No.” She’s bright red, immediately thinking of just how many hot summer nights she was kept up, orgasm after orgasm after orgasm, gasping for breath at the way her soulmate’s fingers curled just right, just fucking right. There’s no way you, her crush and her best friend, were that good.

“No, can’t be,” you agree.

“Could be,” she reminds you.

“It’d make sense,” you admit.

“I hate everyone else but you.”

“We could try to find out,” you suggest.

She pinches herself.

“Ow! Not like that!” You whine, clutching at your arm. “Oh, well, I guess it’s too late th-” Ellie cuts you off with her eyes alone.

“Where does all that energy come from, Y/N?! What are you, the Energizer bunny?! At least three times a night, every night! What the hell?!”

You blush deeply, scratching the back of your neck. You hadn’t exactly expected you’d meet your soulmate anytime soon, or that they’d be bold enough to comment on your habits.

“I dunno, I thought it was normal for kids our age…” you mumble.

“Oh, yeah, well some people like sleeping and not screaming into the pillow because their soulmate has a little too much fun doing the five finger shuffle!”

“Please, louder. I think a few people in Antarctica didn’t hear you,” you retort, looking up at her from where you were sitting with a challenging expression.

“We’ve been friends for all this time and I never knew what a horny bastard you are,” she remarks.

“Well, I’m not the one who was ‘screaming’ in pleasure,” you mutter.

“I heard that!” she says, her expression still adorably indignant.

“If you hated it so much, you should’ve just got those over the counter meds, Antifel or whatever.”

“I- I…” She sighs. “Yeah, I didn’t hate it that much,” she admits, and you smile a bit. “But I wasn’t a fan of the choking,” she adds, gesturing at your scarf, your favorite one that she never would’ve guessed hides the bruises from where you’ve choked yourself with a belt, at least not before. “I’m more of a choker than a ‘chokee’, but, I guess that’d be obvious, wouldn’t it? Considering we’re soulmates and all.”

You nod, your eyes now on your lap, the floor, her tee shirt, the lamp in the corner, anything that isn’t her eyes, and she smirks.

“Oh, so now you’re shy?”

“A little,” you quietly reply, and she sits next to you on your bed.

“Let’s cool down,” she offers. “We’ve just seen each other after months of purely texting and the occasional phone call.”

“Thanks,” you respond, finding it easier to breathe.

“Why were you crying so much?” Ellie asks, addressing her original observation.

“Just depressed and lonely and stuff. I don’t have friends in my hometown, not like you.”

“You’ll always have me,” she says. “I mean it.”

“I’d hope so, soulmate,” you laugh off the seriousness of the conversation, and she sighs, looking to your eyes with her own soulful ones.

“I’m glad it’s you,” she tells you.  “I don’t think I’d be able to stand anyone else.”

“Yeah, right!” you huff out a laugh, confused at her sudden emotional openness. Sure, she was more honest about her feelings with you than anyone else, but that didn’t mean that she was a completely open book. Who was?

“You’re not disappointed, are you?” Ellie wonders because of your remark.

“God, no! I- I actually have a really big crush on you,” you admit.

“Yeah?” she asks, the cutest little grin on her face, you know the one. “I have a crush on you, too.”

You blush again.

“Sorry… I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, I’m not very good at flirting or anything like that. I don’t really care about much of anyone at all, and you’re definitely the only person I’ve really cared about in a romantic way, so…”

“No, it’s not that! I- You- You being really good at flirting is what’s got me like this. And the fact that I’m a dork who’s really bad at flirting contributes,” you explain.

“I am? Good at flirting, I mean.”

“Well, with me, at least,” you tell her.

“Um… Sorry if it’s lame to ask, but… Can I kiss you?”

“Of course! And it’s not lame to ask at all, El, I appreciate it actua- Mmf!”

You could live forever in the feeling of her lips on yours, her hands oh-so carefully holding your cheeks.

“Sorry,” she shyly says, as she slowly pulls away from you, looking in your eyes. “I’ve just been wanting to do that for a really, really long time. Pretty much since we met, actually.”

“R-really?” you ask, a bit breathless and definitely still flustered.

“Yeah, you’re perfect. In, like, every way. It’s the worst and the best.”

“I’m perfect?! But you’re- You’re you!” you argue, and she shakes her head, rolling her eyes. “I’m so lucky.”

“No, I’m the lucky one,” she disagrees.

“We can both be lucky,” you tell her, and she sighs.

“I suppose that’s a good compromise,” she decides. “So, what should we do before dinner? We’ve got a couple hours to kill, but I don’t think either of us has much more to say that wouldn’t be repetitive or… Something.” She blushes again, cheeks bright pink.

You blush back, reminded that she knew all about you and the things you did to yourself behind doors. “R-right,” you reply. Hey, you may be a horny motherfucker, but that doesn’t make you any less of a bottom.

“Can I see?” she asks, touching at your scarf. You nod, and she unwraps the scarf. She carefully touches the spotted bruises with her fingers. “With the belt you’re wearing?”

You can’t even speak. You nod, and the ghost of a smile graces her face before she just barely presses her lips to the bruises closest to her, on the side of your neck. Your hand quickly grabs her bicep tightly, and she stops, looking to you with concern.

“I’m so sorry, I got a bit carried aw-”

“No, no, it’s good, I’m just… Sensitive there,” you admit, and one of the biggest smiles you’ve seen her wear is on her lips.

“Yeah?” she asks, taking her crossbody bag off of her shoulder and opening it. She takes out a bottle of Antifel pills. “How sensitive?”

“Oh God, um… I- Um…” Your nerves are really getting to you, and your breathing gets heavier as you stare at the bottle. This is really happening. It’s really happening. You’d always wanted to, especially with her, but now that it’s a reality, you feel on the brink.

Ellie can recognize that look in your eyes, and it’s a look she’d hoped she’d never be the cause of.

“Shit, Y/N. What’s going on? Talk to me.”

“I- Um, I just- I want to? But I- I just- I don’t know, it’s just getting really hard to breathe, and uh, not in a hot way,” you joke nervously.

“Hey, you can want to and not be ready to right this minute. We haven’t even been on a date yet, okay? I’m really sorry if I made you feel like you had to do anything you didn’t want to,” Ellie tells you, and she feels immensely guilty either way.

“No! I liked you kissing me, especially where you did, but, you’re right. We should probably adjust to the news and put a label on whatever this is before we do anything too serious.”

Ellie nods. “You always were the more logical one. I’ll put these in the medicine cabinet and we can just… Talk about stuff, like we always do.”

“But with more kissing and cuddling, I hope?” you request, and she nods, going to put the bottle away before returning to find you bundled up in her comforter. “It’s so cozy…” you practically sing, at least to her.

“This is a dream,” she sighs happily, slipping off her shoes and joining you in her bed. You spoon her side, and she hums in content, stroking your hair.

“You’re in a good mood,” you comment. Ellie is not a very cheerful person, at least not openly. So, to see her like this was surprising.

“Yeah, of course I am. It’s you. It’s really you. I’ve never been happier in my life,” she says, having really been hit with the fact that you’re her soulmate. All hers. “All mine…” she hums.

“You really know how to make a girl feel special… I mean it. I’m really not all that.”

“Please be my girlfriend,” she requests.

“Only if you’ll be mine,” you reply, and she scoffs.

“I think that’s how that works, babe.”

Your heart skips a beat and you stare at her in wonder.

“Sorry for not asking if pet names were okay…It’s just something I like, it’s really stupid.”

“No, I really like it, hence the dumb stare and the lack of breathing.”

She chuckles, holding you tighter. You smile with her, glad that she’s happy.

“I hope you don’t feel like you have to over-exaggerate how happy you are. It’s okay if you’re not ridiculously happy about finding your soulmate.”

“Oh, no, I’m as happy as I sound. I’m, uh, definitely a textbook case of Lesbian That’s A Grumpy Bitch Til She Gets A Girlfriend. But then again, I’ll probably just be a significantly less grumpy bitch to everyone but you, sorry.”

“I don’t mind, I like you being your bitchy self,” you reply, being rewarded with a kiss placed atop your head that sends tingles dancing down your body. “Mm… I like that.”

“Good,” Ellie responds. “I’m glad.”

“I’m gladder,” you tease.

“I’m gladdest...”

[cuilective]

Announcement: New Muse(s?) Incoming

Actually, possibly two, though I’d like a bit of input first if at all possible.

The one that I for sure have in the works is an OC I had back when I first joined the pokemon roleplaying community back during the ORAS hype: my Team Aqua grunt Alphonse. He’s a tall gangly softboy whose signature pokemon is a sassy Girafarig he named Banana. He’s a pro at names, guys. Always dooting a kazoo or trying to cheer people up with puns, he’s the sweetest ‘villain’ around. Joined Team Aqua more for the roof over his head and steady income but couldn’t really care less about the team’s ultimate goals, but the team in general has become so much like a family to him that he’ll do whatever he can for them.

Now, there was one other muse I wanted to add... but I can’t really pick between the two OCs. I’d like to see which one, if either, y’all might be interested in interacting with? Or maybe both??? I’ll ramble a bit about them each beyond the cut cus it’s kinda long oops... there’s tl;drs under each character if it’s too much to read at once gjbdfgh

One of the two would be a trainer unaffiliated with any team or organization, Cooper Evans. His signature pokemon is an Espurr named Marnie, who is an intense busybody and a walking callout post of a cat and likes to abuse her telepathy to pester people... when Coop isn’t around, anyway. She’ll only behave around him. As you can see through the link he doesn’t have a very human appearance, so trying to figure out a pokeverse for him has been a bit tricky.

I’m still figuring it out, but first option is he might be a human/ultra beast fusion made secretly in Aether’s underground labs out of an unofficial ultra beast called UB Infinity or Neuroboros, a serpentine psychic/poison purple dragon captured by Aether and kept under lock and key to be studied while it slumbered away biting its own tail. The fusion was with a comatose and deathly ill young Cooper in a desperate attempt by an Aether scientist to bring him back from the brink of death.

Or I’ll remove the Aether aspect entirely and he’s fused with various mundane pokemon in an attempt to give him a stronger body. Pokemon like Nidoking, Espurr, and Feraligatr, and possibly others were used. Either way he takes on a very inhuman appearance and has to find a way to fit in without, yknow, scaring the living daylights out of people. He typically does this by dressing like the Poke Maniac trainer class. Big stuffed nidoking suit to hide his tail and ears in with slots to put his horns through, and a simple cloth mask to hide his jagged teeth. He’s got an excuse for any odd trait of his when asked. But ye, he’s at least 19 and an absolute meme. An obnoxious little meme. He hasn’t given up on dabbing yet, but when it comes to memes his favorite has to be the classic rick roll.

I have yet to find a fitting faceclaim of him due to his unique face, so chances are I’ll have to commission some simple icons. But until then I’m thinking Shigeo Kageyama would do well enough, since it’s close enough to his previously human appearance. gamefreak tried to be slick with allistair the purble masked spooky boy but coop was first!!!!

TL;DR: Psychic Purple Little Man Tries To Blend In With Normal Humans, Has The Power of Anxiety And Anime On His Side. And A Cat.

My other option... Aleksey Volkov (< each name is a link! warning for shirtless old sketch in the second half???), the ‘Beast of Rocket’. (Not to be confused with pokespe’s ‘three beasts of rocket’) Though likely without the fluffy ears/tail... maybe. I dunno. I’m kind of attached to them. He’s at least around 30 years old. He studied the differences and commonalities between humans and pokemon--particularly humans with ESP and pokemon that are said to have originally been human. His goal was to unlock the 'innate power' he believed each human to have, which was comparable to a pokemon and its moves/abilities. His theory was that ancient humans had powers akin to pokemon and his goal was to activate those ancient genes in modern humans.

His experiments were getting some interesting results, but he got the attention of Team Rocket before long. They abducted him and his wife and daughter, using his family as leverage to get him to work for them. Their goal was to use him to find a way to harness the energy of pokemon to give humans superhuman abilities, much in the same line as what he was doing already. This was in a particularly cold part of the world, so traits were chosen from ursaring, piloswine, and mightyena to create a superhuman who was perfectly suited to fighting in subzero temperatures.

When it came time to test what he currently had, he refused to test on anyone else but himself. It worked, in a way, turning him into an actual manbearpig... but also scrambling up his head to the point where he was difficult to control and no longer seemed to remember anything in regards to the project, or... much of anything else, actually. The project deemed a failure and not even remembering his own family, what he became was instead used as muscle for Team Rocket whenever they need to dish out knuckle sandwiches for whatever reason. Typically loaned out to the different executives and admins, either as a bodyguard, enforcer, or something of an assassin, as any evidence left behind would point to some wild pokemon attack, not a human, right?

His faceclaim would be Klaus Von Reinherz. I mean, look at him!!! the lil tusks... the sideburns... it him.

TL;DR: Doctor Prettyboy is forced by Team Rocket to make a super soldier potion. He tests it on himself and becomes Manbearpig. He is now huge and angry and strong but can’t remember anything else. Team Rocket is keeping him as a sexy, sexy weapon. Quite possibly over eight feet tall even while slightly hunched over.

I genuinely can’t pick one or the other because I love them both and think they’d both have a lot of potential for neat interactions. Can you see your characters interacting with either of these? Do you have any interest or questions? Please feel free to reply, send an ask, IM me, whatever. Be as honest or nosy as you want, I’ll even take anonymous input if that’s what folk are more comfortable with. I just want to be selective with which characters I add to this multimuse because I don’t want to end up with 50 characters and only end up using like 3 of them, yknow?

[comicteaparty]

May 27th-June 2nd, 2019 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party week long chat that occurred from May 27th, 2019 to June 2nd, 2019.  The chat focused on SUPERPOSE by Joe (or Seosamh) and Anka.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB START!

Hello and welcome everyone to Comic Tea Party’s Week Long Book Club~! This week we’ll be focusing on SUPERPOSE by Joe (or Seosamh) and Anka~! (https://superposecomic.com/)

You are free to read and comment about the comic all week at your own pace, so stop on by whenever it suits your schedule! Remember, though, that while we allow constructive criticism, our focus is to have fun and appreciate the comic. Below you will find four questions to get you started on the discussion. However, a new question will be posted and pinned everyday (between 12:01AM and 6AM PDT), so keep checking back for more! You have until June 2nd to tell us all your wonderful thoughts! With that established, let’s get going on the reading and the chatting!

QUESTION 1. What has been your favorite scene in the comic so far? What specifically did you like about it?

QUESTION 2. When it comes to the themes of feeling lost and finding your place in life, which character do you connect with the most? What moment of their internal struggle regarding this topic really captured your imagination and why?

ErinPtah (Leif & Thorn | BICP)

Only a couple scenes in at this point, but wow, I can't let the coloring technique go uncommented on. It's gorgeous. Changes for every environment and every time of day, presenting them with rich palettes and exquisite lighting.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 3. At the moment, who is your favorite character? What about that character earns them this favor?

QUESTION 4. Do you think Kas will eventually adjust to life in Port City and get out more? If so, how might that change them? Overall, how do you think the nature of Port City will shape the characters as the story continues?

RebelVampire

QUESTION 5. What has been your favorite illustration in the comic so far? What specifically about it do you like?

QUESTION 6. How do you think Royal’s father will react to Royal’s plans with the company? How will this personally affect Royal? Further, will Royal’s father be as cool about who Rafael is related to? Also, how will Rafael’s relationship with his father affect the story?

RebelVampire

1) that scene where Royal is in the arcade teaching the kids the glitch in the game. this was the first time where i felt like we really got to see royal's soul. previously he just felt like kind of a smart air-head, but this scene made me see him in an entirely new light. there deep thoughts and grave ambition hidden under there, and the way he explained the glitch really just made me want to play glitchy games and marvel at them. plus, for comedic reasons i like the juxtaposition of the kids basically just not giving any damns about what royal is talking about. they just wanna win their game https://superpose.superposecomic.com/post/161303418270 2) its a tough choice between royal and rafael, but im gonna go with rafael. i think my favorite scenes with him in regards to being lost are when we see him in the ocean. to me those scenes are physical manifestations of what hes feeling internally, which is like a small speck alone in a vast ocean trying not to drown in everything. and honestly, what a great way to put feeling lost, because sometimes that is exactly what it feels like. plus, for me personally, i can connect with rafael's seeming lack of ambition a bit more than i connect with royal. since it's not like rafael doesn't have skills, rafael just doesnt seem to know what to do with those skills.

RebelVampire

3) Royal. I love how hyper excited Royal is about everything and just the sheer amount of ambition he has. Like, I can't not admire someone who is so sure of their own damn idea that they pursue it like their life is on the line. That being said, I also like that Royal can be a bit of a doofus and also that he still has internal struggles of his own. Like trying to find a place in the world with his dad being pretty stern and detached emotionally. 4) I do think Kas is gonna get out in Port City more, mostly probably cause Royal and Rafael will drag them around whether Kas likes it or not. Which I'm sure there will be an adjustment period, but I think eventually Kas will kind of get used to everything if only out of necessity. Plus, I think Rafael will show Kas the good spots where Kas doesn't have to be bothered by jerks. I do worry though that in the long run, the city is kind of going to continue to amplify all their internal struggles and will continue to bring those to the forefront of the story. Port City strikes me as sort of a backwater city. Like the sort of city that isn't cool enough to intense tourism but is large enough that it devours everyone into the crowd. And that's the exact sort of environment that can breed feeling lost. Plus, a lot of the random people we've seen have been kind of shitty, like drug dealers.

5) I've gotta give it to the beam https://superpose.superposecomic.com/post/183664963457 the lighting on this page takes my breath away, and the pacing leading up to the illustration is really perfect too. Especially, though, I like the little intense beam of blue at the top. Not only does it visually show off the intensity of the power, but it add that nice level of contrast that draws your eye to it. plus, great composition for this page in my opinion and a well-chosen angle. 6) Royal's father is gonna be super, duper pissed unless it makes him a lot of money. I assume he will find out before it reaches that point and immediately pull Royal out and fire everyone. Cause I do not believe Royal's father has enough faith in Royal. Which this would obviously damage their relationship, and I think Royal will have to confront the feelings of insecurity he has because of his dad and how his dad has a lot of faults. Thankfully for Rafael, I don't think the dad will care about his dad. At most, I think there will be snide remarks. As for Rafael and his dad, I think their relationship is gonna drive a wedge at some point in Rafael's plans and kind of make him have to take a step back from the project maybe. I think Rafael is taking on a lot of guilt for what his dad has done, and I think he'll need to work through that before he can truly be happy.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 7. Which characters do you enjoy seeing interact the most? What about their dynamic interests you?

QUESTION 8. What do you feel the comic has to say about family relationships and how they help define who we are? What moment in the comic stuck out to you where this theme was at the forefront?

varethane

Royal and Rafael's interactions are always engaging, though I find them also very tense most of the time haha-- they're both very intense people

RebelVampire

as much as i like Royal, I would probably be more like Kas when interacting with him. where im just kind of internally like "royal slow your roll dude"

RebelVampire

QUESTION 9. What sorts of art or story details have you noticed in the way the comic is crafted that you think deserves attention?

QUESTION 10. Given how different Rafael, Royal, and Kas are, what obstacles do you foresee in the three getting along? How will their personal lives affect their professional lives in this regard? Alternatively, what ways have their relationships improved that you liked?

RebelVampire

7) Probably Royal and Kas. They have such opposite personalities that I'm always interested to see how they make their relationship work, both professionally and personally. There's also just something deeply relateable I find in their struggles to communicate while both being immensely self aware that they are ill-matched in regards to their socialization styles. 8) I think the comic shows both the good and bad ways our parents morph who we are. Like Rafael is a great dude, but he clearly has some deep-seated issues that I think are largely tied into the crimes of his father and feeling like he cants escape them. But I think that is something else this comic is saying as well. That regardless of what our relationships with our families is, sometimes we need to escape and forge our own path in spite of them. For me the largest moment where this stuck out was when Royal was in the meeting in the beginning and voicing his opinion. Cause Royal seemed to understand he was in the shadow of his father, yet at the same time was desperate to break free

RebelVampire

9) I'm gonna second @ErinPtah (Leif & Thorn | BICP) and say the lighting for this question. there is just so much damn atmosphere is every scene. especially when its dark. i find a lot of comic's get really scared of making scenes too dark and worry if its not bright enough people wont see. but i feel this comic just boldly says nope and does it anyway, creating some really beautiful night scenes with dynamic light sources. <3 10) I think theres gonna be a lot more conflict with Royal in regards to Royal just being so energetic. I think Rafael and Kas will find him exhausting after a point. not to mention I get the impression Rafael and Kas are getting closer, and I think there's a point where Royal will feel like a third wheel. The largest conflict I see them having though is what to do with their project if they succeed and what to do with themselves after. Cause while at the moment they have a joint goal to focus on, once that goal is gone i think the feelings of lostness will return. As for relationship improvements, I really like Kas was able to tell Royal that Royal's friends were asshole and Royal apologized. I was sure Royal was gonna kind of try to write it off. But nope, the two came to a mutual understanding, and Royal got to grow as a person.

varethane

I love that the lighting approach is derived from film compositing and photography techniques, it gives it a richness of value and saturation that's very intense but still feels realistic

RebelVampire

thats a super eloquent way to put, @varethane

varethane

I, uhhhh, am very nervous about what's going to happen when Royal finds out that Raf stole his dog.

RebelVampire

oh good its not just me then

although im worried whats gonna happen to Royal when Raf finds out Royal's dad was responsible for why the dog was in such bad shape

RebelVampire

QUESTION 11. What do you think are this particular comic’s strengths? What do you think makes this comic unique? Please elaborate.

QUESTION 12. Ultimately, do you think Royal, Rafael, and Kas will manage to bring Royal’s project to fruition? Whether success or failure, what do you think it will mean for the three of them, for the future of the company, and for the world?

RebelVampire

QUESTION 13. What are you most looking forward to in the comic? Also, do you have any final thoughts to share overall?

QUESTION 14. Do you think any of Rafael or Royal’s past actions seen throughout the comic before they officially meet will have future consequences? If so, how will they affect their working relationship, and how might the two find a way to work past them?

RebelVampire

11) Once again, definitely the lighting and also probably the composition. These aspects together give the comic this really unique, movie-like tone. And again, there's just so much atmosphere with these illustration techniques that it really works for what's going on with the story. 12) I think it's gonna be a partial success. I don't think they'll manage a true teleporter, but I think they'll manage something close enough that they can use it to revolutionize something? Cause what I forsee happening is that they'll run into a kink and Royal's dad will find out and say "no my dudes make this profitable." i think regardless of success or failure, the experience will still teach them all about themselves, and I think that's more important than any affect they might on a more global scale. 13) Seeing Royal and Rafael hang out more. We've seen Kas with both of them a lot, and I'd like to see those two together more. Cause I feel there's a lot of misconceptions both can work through and apologies to be had. And I think it'll be real interesting. Also, the issue of Royal's stolen doggo. 14) Yes. There is no way that doggo is not gonna be a thing. That's gonna be a hell of a confrontation. Not just cause it's understandable Royal would be mad, but I think Royal is gonna have to face some hard truths about how his dad might be an asshole. I think inevitably the two will work things out, but each is gonna have to accept that some of the people they know are assholes.

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB END!

Thank you everyone so much for reading and chatting about SUPERPOSE this week! Please also give a special thank you to Joe (or Seosamh) and Anka for volunteering the comic and creating it! If you liked SUPERPOSE, make sure to continue to support it via some of the links below!

Read and Comment: https://superposecomic.com/

Joe and Anka’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/superpose

Joe and Anka’s Store: http://superpose.storenvy.com/

[bcdyhigh-blog]

hey y’all !! i have this queued and everything bc my forgetful ass prob won’t be around for the soft opening.. rip. anyways i’m lia, twenty, a rpdr and retro future enthusiast, and i’m hyped as hell to introduce my Kids ! admittedly gyuri owns my heart more than max so, you can have her first, you’d prob thank me for it shortly anyways DKSLGFJ you can find her bio HERE, i also have her PLOTS and STATS pages up, so check them out as well ! and if you wanna plot, just hmu over at discord !

( KIM MINJI | CISFEMALE | SHE/HER ) I swear I saw MOON GYURI around campus yesterday. I hear the TWENTY-ONE year old is very resolute & circumspect which totally adds up since they're a TAURUS. They’re in their THIRD year and studying MUSIC PRODUCTION. you might also see them at a RADIO CLUB meeting. ( lia, nt, she/her. )

moon gyuri, a daegu native with an older sister and younger brother, an ambivert and an all around baby

i already have an overview of her bg so i’ll stick to the basics with this copied intro gklfds

buT she became involved in music through her father, who studied it in uni and ended up becoming a music instructor with a focus on piano, flute and vocals

her and her mom.. also her older sister, didn’t have the best relationship when she grew older, which seemed to die altogether when her parents divorced and her mom left. but her and her sister’s still exists, it’s just that she’s a bit of a toxic influence on her and she tends to distance herself from her

went to seoul arts to pursue music like her father ( a daddy’s girl too like ) and found her way into the world of production !! just before junior year, she transferred out of her original program, applied music with a concentration in piano, into music production and has loved it ever since

she’s making something of an income as the creator of an acct on youtube and soundcloud for her music — going by the aliases lunar wave and leda on them respectively ( can you tell how creative i am.. seriously, im dsfggdfjk )

she’s not even close to making it big yet, having only started a few short months ago, and that being said, she doesn’t mind if she never works for a moderately to highly popular label in the future — though she should if she wants to get by

among the aesthetic, lo-fi music crowd ( one of those yt accts with a livestream for certain playlists that go on for hours, rip ) where for the most part, it’s personal faves mixed with her own works, and has a substantial following for such a new acct as of now. but has an interest in experimenting, with mashups ( as a lover of them ?? i couldn’t help myself sgflkdsjg ) for example, with a small fear of how that change would be received

anyways she’s a member of the radio club, is usually found in either her room or some studio in the music department, and is a struggling bi baby 

this is so short iK, it’s a little infuriating if you ask me ljkgdfjls

in terms of her personality and other things:

she’s quite a loyal person, but even she knows when to draw a line in the sand. while like i said, her relationship with her sister is Not Great, she hadn’t completely given up on her for many years. definitely for the time being, for her own benefit, but her being someone who’s open to the idea of people changing for the better somewhere down the line leaves a bit of room for her to possibly change her mind, if her sister does enough to allow her to consider it

so she can be a bit of a doormat in some cases, it all depends on how she sees the person that determines if that’s the case, but she generally won’t let you off if you’re being dumb/an ass to someone or if she gets advantageous vibes from you for example ( given she can.. be a little dense on occasion and is a gentle soul overall ) so.. idk fgklsj good luck to the 99% ig ??

she does have a slight dependency on others despite her thinking all signs point to the opposite, and even though her and her mom never rly had a good relationship she still reels from the neglect/abandonment some days so handle her with Care if she deems you a close pal

super wary with taking risks and the like, add her stubborn nature and she’s gonna be difficult to persuade on a range of things

unwavering in her work and with those she trusts. she also is the same with herself more often than not, but she’s not exempt from having that doubtful voice in her head convincing her she’s doing a shit job in x thing to throw her off

she’s a little reclusive when focused on something, if she tells you she’s working on a track, it’s essentially a head’s up that you might not see her for a couple of days depending on how soon she gets it done — lowkey that bitch™ who makes up an illness to her prof or boss, so she wouldn’t even show up for class/work if it’s more than just her fucking around

bc admittedly, a lot of what she posts is fucking around and liking it, her more thought-out and effort packed projects are hidden away on her laptop

a bit insecure with her work and just her general disposition ?? bc like i said, she’s not exempt from that Evil voice in her head and those few more.. conflicting points above, we’ll say, mess with her a lot and leave her disheartened so.. my poor child

so that being said, she’s v strong overall, takes people’s shit but if it gets to her, she gets over it p fast ( the first time around ). doesn’t dwell on much and will be courteous to you even if she’s declared you too toxic to stick around 24/7

isn’t exactly one to get angry super easily ?? she’s basically just disappointed or annoyed at best 99% of the time, it takes a lot to get her beyond that

a cute bean who wants the best for everyone and is also clumsy as absolute fuCK

uhhh

plays piano and bass guitar

prob has some kind of little amateur rock band with a few music majors and took up bass for the hell of it lmao

so.. if you want in on that lmk sdgkldg

loves animals, leans towards cats or big dogs. corgis and those little spaniels get a pass tho

speaking of, she has a cute little calico kitten ( i’m shit with pet names so that’s tba rgkjls ) who she Loves, her baby !!

sweater, ball cap and basic t shirt junkie

those glasses minji’s worn on occasion ?? rinna wears them too but.. actually needs them, not even close to a fashion statement

doesn’t don much makeup unless someone’s dragging her to a party or something

thaT’S when she looks a little more like a classy early twenties bitch.. which lbr, is hard enough when adulthood is a whole Train Wreck for the most part LGFJSDL

not a heavy drinker, but the textbook definition of a lightweight so.. she’s always praying for anyone who has to deal with her dgfjklsfg

lattes are her livelihood

a bit of a hopeless romantic, god help her

her favourite subject in school was literature/writing and reads quite a bit on her breaks between classes, prob tried to take up a creative writing class as an elective as well

favourite music genres.. it’s easier to say what she doesn’t like/finds boring, which is prob country and some aspects of edm/pop, not into punk/metal either

these are super basic plus her personality description is all over the place bc i’m rushing but.. i’ve gotta get to max’s info so this’ll do for now i hope ??

[imogenbennettblogsdp]

Transmedia storytelling - session 6

again as said in previous blog (week 5) I am virtual learning from my home, which as in that blog I felt not as productive as I would have in a class room but under the circumstances I find I accomplished and learnt quite a bit. Also the working in Pjs is a plus...

Web 2.0 is something we have touched on before, in the first sessions which is important as Web 2.0 has become something everyone is very familiar with (even if they don't know what the word means) and that Social Media, with social media its very much broadened to a active audience, we are contanstly looking, creating and thinking about what we are seeing which can be pretty much anything. take my edit instagram account for example, I am constantly seeking new techniques by others (almost collaborating by sharing editing styles with people and I am making ‘User Generated Content’. Also Web 2.0 offers audience participation ‘Participatory culture’, for example the Comment section. this allows the viewer to give feedback, praise and even abuse (even though that's not what its particularly meant for) This gives the viewer a feel of incorporation towards the creator (or photo, video, information- if on wiki).

*Referring to the voice over presentation video* the way marketing use ‘User Generated Content’ is very interesting and it has changed the ways we receive ads and how marketers approach sponsoring etc, I wanted to look more into it/ provide evidence to this and with two popular examples being - Youtube and Game ads.  when you watch a video on youtube by a content creator what do you usually get:

Ads. 

Youtube (a popular Web 2.0 website) is a Queen Bee hive for Ads... swarming. compared to old visual Ads being Ads on tv in the commercial break or flyers, these ads can be incorporated in the video, being at the beginning of the ad like the 1st picture above, or in collaboration with the creator of the video. I found this very intriguing and interesting, Im quite fascinated by idea of marketing and this little investigation (even tho I'm pretty familiar by being a YouTube veteran) so perhaps in future I can explore it more.

As I am watching the ‘Harry Jenkins film’ I now feel more supported in what I have said previously in the Blog, Mostly where I mention my instagram account, he says “what were seeing in the digital age people are taking media into their hands... and innovating and experimenting” with that media which Is exactly what I am doing, I am taking content and mixing it up making it into my own.

‘Conversion Culture” Having different platforms to see it (say youtube, insta and TikTok) which is shaped by us rather than corporations, we have control. we can all collaborate and mix information together (on say wiki) which leads to much more complex ‘than what someone in a board room can come up with on their own’. I also found this interesting and very off topic to the video but I realised that a very Recent and Popular example can  be how the Convid-19 information is spread out, TikTok a very content creator based app which mostly is used by younger generations and if you go on it now you'll see a lot of information on how to stay safe and social distance during this pandemic which is very interesting... Could it be argued that kids are paying more attention because they see this entering ‘their world’? not just seeing it on the news (which they might not watch as heavily as the app). 

interesting as It creates more of a world for the viewer

Talking on the Transmedia topic of having multiple platforms I was shown the Blair witch project website. This fascinated me and reminded me of my personal experience With this, ‘Ingrid goes west’ a film near and dear to my heart, which is mostly based on instagram (and how it effects us) #LIFE. I was reminded of this film as the creators also made Ingrid's and Taylor’s (the influencer in the film) instagram account real which is quite fun and I enjoyed looking into it and felt like she semi excited in a way, provided more of a world outside of the film.

Taylors instagram* I found this so clever and funny, with the captions down to the T. also something to note that loads of fans are allowed to interact with Taylor like Ingrid did, Commenting quotes (especially “Damn girl that looks yummy as fuck!” which is a popular comment you'll see). Its clever if you ask me. I myself have to admit to commenting that quote as- well. (but I'm being involved!) 

Watching the ‘Transmedia storytelling’ video with a cinderella adaptation. watching this had made me think. about A- what story I want to create/adapt. and B- how it links so well to todays generation. And yet again watching this reminded me of something I have seen that is off similar structure. An Ad for the social media app ‘Own it” created by BBC. showing how little connections through sharing can lead to bigger things. (this made helped me understand the Transmedia storytelling video more as I know its all about the connections between things and seeing it visually really helped.)Im not looking forward to doing this task though, storyboarding and mind maps are not my friend and I don't enjoy them, (I may have mentioned this before) but I like to freestyle it and see where it takes me instead of planing and expecting etc. Also Im not a fan of Lucid Charts, I find it hard to use and complicated to what it is which I know is unproductive as I should be using a variety of sites to improve my skills but you can't help but hating something... Lucid chart is my kryptonite.  

For my Transmedia story I decided to do it based off of Joker (2019), I chose this as it has a major event in it which I felt I could use events for, also I really like the film so why not.

I started to think about what I would focus the story around and it was hard to pin-point a certain one, I did pick joker killing the 3 men on the subway (Spoiler!) as that is essentially in my opinion what cracked him into becoming the ‘Joker’. *Refer to the story map in google docs*. Being honest I didn't enjoy it as much as I though I did, I found it quite confusing for what I had to do for a while (so like what directions do I go in? what characters do I use?). Something I also didn't like which is strange is that I didn't like making all the social media accounts... strange because I usually make tons in my own time (I have 6+ personal instagram accounts :/) 

I did start using the software ‘Zeebob’ but I found it quite (this will make me sound snobbish but,) cheap. I just felt it limited me and to what I could create and just didn't seem realistic, 

so I made two on here but ditched it and went for the real thing... making actual accounts for the posts. Guess which is which... the 1st one is zee bob and second is an actual account I made. The upside of making the actual accounts is having the freedom and more ability to do more things (like on twitter I can retweet stuff that I feel the character would and who they follow which adds personality to the account. 

Of course the downside of making actual accounts is that I couldn't fake the likes or followers which takes away the realism to the accounts. 

Out of all the accounts and social media’s I created, surprisingly the @GothamNews was my favourite, probably because i spent the most thought on this; creating the logo (on Canva) .. and finding the cool retweets like the van which I thought was like striking gold to add to the realism.

I did make a mistake that i knew occur from using the same account and changing it (E,G, I made a twitter account and kept changing the name,pictures, retweets etc)... Notice that Arthur’s and GothamNews background photo is the same... well I just noticed that too and its why I need to pay attention to it. so tiny lesson to myself for future and if I was going to do this for real I would create separate accounts and spend more time to trying to find the fitting photos for each character and why? it makes more sense for the news account to have trash as (in the film) Trash was the relevant topic, but joker not so much - he doesn't strike me and the recycling type.

While making the accounts I tried to add as much passive detail as I could... adding the subtle detail, like (as I mentioned) who they follow, retweet, like, what's in their bio, what's their background photo etc. referring a little to one of the earlier sessions in visual design (semiotics 'Denotation and Connotation'). 

(especially Jokers) I paid attention to the way joker writes, to my knowledge he isn't very educated so his writing is very childlike and he writes how he hears (eg  when we see him write ‘hope my life makes more cents etc) it so that was a nice detail I added. 

here are some notes I made for when I was thinking about the map:

- plan event - riot

- bruce Waynes dad saying “stop trash/ campaign

- joker “maybe my life would make more cents if I was dead” 

- Marty “tonights show will be interesting “ 

- jokers video going on air

overall I think I will take the idea of broadening the ‘World’ I create (with film) by creating different platforms. I found this lesson a lot harder than I would of found it in class due to my focus being lost and feeling like im not putting 100% into it unfortunately. 

And who knows maybe ill get loads of followers on one of the accounts and become famous.