#bc no he wouldn’t!! he never had anyone as close to him as jc

[zinniapetals]

it’s so weird when a post is explicitly chengxian and then people add lwj into the mix.

I blame CQL and the animation for not sticking to the relationship between wwx/jc faithfully and creating that whole extra subplot of jc/wq in cql bc truly, in the novel when it focuses on wwx/jc friendship, it’s silly teens that are just so intimate and knowledgeable about one another while being blurred with the strange history of their parents and the inherent competitiveness they both have and it’s way more than what could be viewed as just romantic ship or whatever

The conviction wwx has that jc will return with help when trapped in the cave, jc believing in wwx’s words that they are twin prides, jc having faith in wwx finding a core solution, wwx seeing jc’s scars and promising to get rid of them — it’s the little things in their interactions as people who grew up and trust and love each other to the point of giving up their lives for each other!!

it’s frustrating to see a good chengxian post and it being reblogged or commented with other characters that a) were never mentioned in the post b) removes chengxian and makes it some other ship

[llycaons]

I maintain that wwx’s longing for LP doesn’t rely on jc nearly as much fans seem to think it does. a lot of his grief postres is of course wrapped up in nostalgia and homesickness and regrets for LP as a whole, but jyl is dead and he will never have that sibling dynamic again because jyl was required to sustain the jc and wwx relationship...and that’s tragic, that is, but the way things fell apart and the way jc and wwx’s relationship fractured before her death makes it so clear how fundamentally different their paths were always going to be, and it’s not a step forward or a ‘happy ending’ to have him return to someone with whom he’s had such a longterm and severe falling-out with. honestly jyl MADE that place his home. it was her compassion, and her love, and her generosity, her encouragement, her understanding that allowed wwx and jc to even have a relationship in the first place. and they did become close obviously but they could barely communicate with each other without her, of course the relationship didn’t survive her death

wwx clearly bitterly regrets what happened with jc and is upset that jc hates him (or so he thinks) but he also doesn’t particularly seem to miss jc in BM  the way he misses jyl or lwj which is interesting to me bc I don’t think wwx even likes him on a personal level which is another layer on complication here. there’s a lot of textual support for him loving jc and being protective of him but not really respecting jc as a leader, with a lot of subtext about him being very homesick and still caring a lot about him...which don’t contradict! they can both be true! but I still think that acting like a longterm survivor of unbelievable trauma can only truly be happy in a home he saw his entire family slaughtered in, at the side of a man who’s repeatedly assaulted him, encouraged him to kill himself, and triggered him intentionally, goes past stupid and into actively harmful, considering wwx’s lifetime of sacrifice and his willingness to be mistreated for other people’s sakes, especially the jiang’s. and it wouldn’t make him happy! it wouldn’t!

stating that LP his only ‘true’ home is...a reading that I can see people taking for sure, esp since in the drama he never really settled in CR. but stating that jc is the family he would be happiest with is so blatantly untrue like it ignores literally over half the story, essentially the entire ‘present-day’ arc and the many other people who wwx became family with, including jin ling, who is literally the last link he has to jyl and someone he clearly cares a lot about.

like. jc is the one sibling left but that doesn’t mean he’s okay to go back to, and it doesn’t mean that wwx would even be happy going back to him after developing such strong relationships with people who don’t routinely mistreat and abuse him, people he’s genuinely liked and been interested in since he was a teenager, people who he’s been through hell with and who shares his beliefs and principles. and we’ve obviously seen that wwx isn’t safe with jc, that jc isn’t in control of his anger, that he hurts wwx to personally gratify himself, that he triggers him with his phobia for no other reason than he thinks wwx deserves it. I feel like that should be clear to anyone with critical thinking skills even if they are jc fans?

I swear hardcore jc fans will just ignore the epic romance that’s literally the other most important wwx dynamic just because they don’t like it or whatever but like, not to criticize how people watch a show for fun but you cannot do a reading on wwx’s home or family or relationships supported by the text if you discount the significance of lwj to wwx or how their relationship is so utterly and intentionally different than jc’s. sometimes feels like these fans are taking the most bad-faith, shallow, face-value interpretation of  ‘oh wwx finds lwj boring and is stifled by CR’ and not bother to interrogate why maybe wwx is happy around lwj anyway and respects him and is excited to see him and brings him to important places like the shrine

I know none of this is saying anything new and I do like jc as a character, I just wish his fans would maybe use their heads and think through a complicated situation with respect to wwx further than ‘he misses this place so he will obviously be happy there with this person’ and then proceed to ignore 75% of the rest of the show that contradicts that or offers more nuance

[plan-d-to-i]

Hi Plan,

I wanted to ask a question regarding WWX and JFM. Did JFM ever considered WY to be his son? Is there any proof of it in the novel?

Thank

No. Jiang Fengmian didn't consider Wei Wuxian his son. He just cared about him because he was the son of his deceased friends, and because they had similar world views and understood each other. He raised him alongside his kids and with certain privileges (like sending him to Cloud Recesses to study), but he didn't adopt him. He expected WWX would be jiang cheng's subordinate one day (nothing wrong w that, the only problem was jc ended up being a huge asshole and WWX couldn't serve someone like him without compromising his morals).

JFM seriously gets so much flack for raising WWX alongside his kids. It happens. It's not unique. YZY is just a harpy. JFM raised him bc 1. he was a nice guy, 2. he felt responsible for him bc as stated WWX's parents had been his close friends and they were dead and couldn't care for their son, 3. jc had zero friends bc he was an unlikeable asshole and 4. YunmengJiang Clan was not as strict as other clans:

Lotus Pier wasn’t as other-worldly as the other sects’ residences, shutting their doors and refusing to let commoners come within a boundary miles away. The docks right in front of Lotus Pier’s entrance often bustled with vendors selling seed pods, water chestnuts and all kinds of pastries. Runny-nosed children from households nearby could also sneak into Lotus Pier’s fields to watch the cultivators practice their swords. They wouldn’t be scolded even if they got caught, either. They could sometimes even play around with the Jiang Sect’s disciples.

...

The founder of the YunmengJiang Sect, Jiang Chi, was born a rogue cultivator. The ways of the sect were honest and unrestrained. Madam Yu’s manners were the exact opposite.

The person who's most pressed by the way JFM treats the orphaned kid of his friends, other than jc, is YZY and we see how truthful her rants are when the narration directly contradicts her assertions. Ex: she busts into WWX's room to criticize JFM for not paying attention to his son when he's literally trying to teach his son. She accuses JFM of favoritism if he doesn't let WWX go to the indoctrination camp then gets mad because he's actually letting WWX go to the indoctrination camp...

"There was resentment within her heart. She simply wanted to let out the rage, even if it made no sense. All the rest were quiet as they endured her temper."

WWX explained it to jc clearly before:

They sat down together, “Let’s be honest, don’t hide things so sulkily in your heart. You’re Uncle Jiang’s own son, the future leader of the Jiang Sect. Of course Uncle Jiang would be stricter towards you.”

Jiang Cheng gave him a sideway glance.

Wei WuXian continued, “But I’m different. I’m the son of someone else. Both of my parents are good friends of Uncle Jiang. Of course he’d cut me more slack. Such a reason you do understand, don’t you?”

WWX also reiterates the difference between one's own kids and the children of another here:

Just as Wen Qing said, if Wen Chao truly wanted to kill anyone, it was unlikely for Wen Qing to be able to stop him. Perhaps she’d be affected as well. After all, children of others could never compare to children of one’s own.

jiang cheng just falls back over and over on the idea that his father doesn't like him and has some bias against him and some favoritism for WWX because it's a lot easier than acknowledging that his father likes him just fine but if he wants JFM to be proud of him he actually needs to be a better person and change his behavior. & this fandom has some weird assholes in it who think someone taking an orphan in off the street is evil and selfish... 🙃

[crossdressingdeath]

This isn't necessarily abt LSZ, byt it annoys me when ppl are like " you must forgive the ppl who wronged you in order to be a good person"

Bcs some were raised passive, some are used to letting go, and learning to love yourself enough to be angry abt what happened is a rlly important and powerful message

I won't argue abt canon, bcs i have fic for it, but, as healthy as it is, it's also frustrating. LSZ has never been shown as a particularly assertive person, and him being angry at what happened would have been satisfying and shown that he's learned the lesson of not tearing yourself down for other's comfort ( which is more WWX to learn than his tbh, but whateves)

JL, on the other hand, who's angry and assertive and doesn't listen to anyone, him choosing to forgive and forget ( WWX) feels more powerful narratively, bcs it's an active choice, not something that's been trained into him, he chose to let go of the anger before to be more happy

So yeah, I've seen a lot of arguments, but i think this is what boils down to. We want passive characters, those who stood and suffered to get angry and validated, because so few of us ever get the chance to

Except... here's the thing. LSZ didn't learn to "tear himself down for others' comfort". He's a peacemaker, yes, he tries to resolve fights, yes, but that's just because he's the sort of person who prefers peaceful resolutions. Come on, that kid was raised by LWJ. I don't doubt for a second he was spoiled rotten. I think people forget that someone preferring to be quiet and gentle isn't the same as being passive; LSZ doesn't assert himself because... well, he doesn't particularly want to. He lets LJY do it for him, most of the time. I have on multiple occasions seen people insisting there's something wrong with LSZ/WWX and LWJ's parenting because LSZ doesn't like to start fights over things that don't matter at the end of the day, and like... there's nothing wrong with being the type to forgive others and let things go, so long as it isn't taken into doormat territory. LSZ chooses to forgive the Lans for their part in his family's deaths, because the Lans a) played a pretty small part on balance and b) have raised and protected him with love and care his entire life when they didn't actually have to do that; I'd argue that's just as powerful as JL forgiving WWX. It's just quieter. And LSZ does assert himself; he's just quiet about it. He doesn't shout like JL does, but he doesn't let himself be ignored either! Remember, it's LSZ who keeps the juniors from making a huge thing about LWJ tying WWX up with the forehead ribbon; the fact that he did it with a smile on his face and without ever raising his voice doesn't make that not assertive! In fact he seems to be the leader of the multi-sect duckling contingent; they all listen to him, even JL at least some of the time (which is more than most people get). Assertiveness and aggression are not synonymous.

So I guess what I'm saying is... why is it that JL is seen as assertive when he shouts and cries but can never get people to do what he wants (he can't even get LJY to stop calling him 'young mistress'!), while LSZ is seen as passive when he actually does get people to do what he wants without ever raising his voice? Why are screaming, crying tantrums (I love JL but. they are tantrums) assertive while calmly taking control of the group and leading them down the path you've decided is passive? Why should LSZ have to scream his anger to the heavens for it to be real? He's not angry at LWJ and WWX, because why would he be? He's not angry (or at least not more angry than anything else) at the Lans, because they're the family that raised him well. Why does it follow that he's not angry at the people actually responsible, people he never talks to and so has no opportunity to openly tear down for causing his family's deaths? And remember, LSZ temporarily leaves the sect to travel with WN (which he as a disciple would've had to get permission to do, by the way; I'd argue that going to LQR and saying "Hey, I'm gonna fuck off to Qishan with my fierce corpse uncle to learn more about my birth family" counts as asserting yourself!); it's partly to learn about his birth family, but I don't doubt he also wanted time to think about things away from the Lans.

You say his "passivity" is something LSZ was trained into, but... come on, look at the Lans. These are the most stubborn assholes in all the sects. They wouldn't be teaching him to be passive, they'd be teaching him to keep his cool while verbally eviscerating his enemies. He was raised to be polite and to show his elders the deference due to their age and experience; that doesn't make him passive. The only time we see him being anything close to passive is when Madam Mo is hurling insults at him, and I'd say that's more "customer service" than any actual passivity. He's expected not to make demands of his elders (hence why he doesn't go off on JC beyond the bounds of "Hanguang-jun says"), but I say again: he's clearly the social leader of his group. He's not passive, he just follows the example of his uncle (who once got two men who hated each other to swear oaths of brotherhood to make him happy; it wasn't a wise move in the long run, but it's impressive he got as far as he did!) and gets what he wants through diplomacy, rather than being intimidating enough to force people to do what he wants.

I... don't actually know where I'm going with this. I guess I just get annoyed whenever people talk like there's something wrong with LSZ (usually something about him being too passive) when... he's probably one of the mentally healthiest characters in the whole cast! This boy was raised well among people who love and care for him and because of that he's doing really well! He doesn't yell and cry when things don't go his way like JL because he was raised in an environment where he was treated with respect as a person, and he forgives the Lans not because he's been raised to passively take whatever's done to him as deserved (like WWX) but because he loves them, because they earned that love by being good to him. Why should that be seen as passive just because he doesn't yell about it?

[janiedean]

Do you think Jonsa is going to happen? I did read some meta about foreshadowing and it's a "squint if you miss it" but there is stuff. For example. Jonnel/Sansa stark in the family tree. People say the fact that Jon didn't care about Sansa being wed to Tyrion, compared to Arya being wed to Ramsay means he his repressing his painful memories and how he has a secret crush on her.

... tldr and sorry for the harshness: no, but if you want to go into the details, with no offense to anyone shipping it of course:

as I already recently ranted, jon and sansa are in two totally different brackets - jon is a main five, sansa is in the following bracket, jon has the entire chosen one storyline plus being the center of the entire story going on, sansa has the I want the love story and I'll get it plotline which does not mesh with jon's so there's that;

sansa's story arc is admittedly painfully clear in the beginning as in: if she thinks she's going to marry a beautiful gallant pretty prince and she thinks it's joffrey who is like attractive and LOOKS gallant but we all know how it went, then she's going to end up with someone who is the total opposite, also if she wanted to be queen in the beginning then it means she's absolutely not going to be in the end bc her entire arc is about realizing that everything she wanted in the beginning is not what she truly wants, and since jon is absolutely poised to get kingship, divide the kingdoms and fuck off to the wildlings after there is no way that her storyline meshes with his like that;

sansa's only viable love interests at this point on page are sandor and tyrion, the end, which by the way are, guess what, not standard attractive and are two people who need to overcome their trauma but never treated her unfairly, and like... denying that in the text sansa is attracted to sandor (she MAKES UP that he kissed her, she dreams he comes to her on her wedding night, she's all like AH BUT JUST *I* KISSED THE HOUND etc like sorry but that's a thing never mind all the knightly investment subtext) and that sandor is her love interest on text is imvho absolutely senseless - you can ship whatever you want and realize that canon isn't going there and write fanfic, no one is gonna stop you, and I can accept the endgame theory from sansa/tyrion shippers even if I think sansa/sandor is it, but sansa/anyone else is absolutely out of the question;

also sandor is the only one sansa thinks about using all the criteria ned used to describe the knight he would find her which was better than joffrey bless whoever went and did the search (brave gentle and strong) and she doesn't use neither of those terms to think about jon, like there's more evidence for littlefinger based on that and idt lf is gonna be her intended;

they think they're siblings and like I know that saying 'BUT THE INCEST' in these books is not like an automatic NO because there's canon incest and the rival ship ie j*nerys also would be incest but like one thing is jc which is not endgame and plainly described as abusive/unhealthy, one thing is targ incests which like the narrative generally is like HEY THIS WAS NOT A GOOD IDEA ABOUT and one thing is falling in love with someone you thought was your sibling and you grew up with like that the moment you find out you're cousins - that... doesn't work like that. and like while I don't have a horse in this race and j*nerys is hardly my ideal endgame sorry but it's a lot more likely that jon would end up getting with someone who he never met before, was the sister of a father he never knew and doesn't even consider his father and he had no relation with before than with... someone he actually thought was his sister, even if he finds out she's his cousin that doesn't change it;

'repressing painful memories' jon has zero issue thinking about catelyn or sansa not treating him great so idk what he should be repressing;

arya vs sansa question: .... well that's like getting close to the entire point but not getting it, in the sense that while jon didn't take wf because it belonged to sansa - but he said he would have if ygritte had been alive and stannis said he could marry her and not val which I mean... says all honestly - technically he made vows saying he renounced his family which is the entire fucking point re arya - the point is that he didn't give those vows up for robb but he would for arya which was the one he was closest to which is what makes everyone else kill him and no he wouldn't have done that for sansa because she was the only one who kept him at a distance, but...

the entire damned point is that they have to reconnect as siblings. sansa going back north (which is gonna happen) and jon being there and most likely getting legitimized/getting robb's will etc means that they have, as adults (or at least... well not kids) realize that how she treated him was wrong and that they can build a relationship which means that each single text reference to each other which is really nothing romantic™ is posed to tell you THESE TWO WILL BE THE STARK SIBLINGS MEETING FIRST and since they didn't have a close rship before they will forge one now, but that doesn't mean that they're going to be romantic endgame, because jon's point isn't having the uber romantic storyline and sweeping a maiden off her feet and sansa already has at least one love interest posed to do exactly that and while their sl are absolutely meant to intersecate on a sibling finding each other again level they are off when it comes to romance;

also a j*nsa endgame would... imply that she becomes queen of the seven kingdoms and they stay reigning there when sansa is absolutely posed to stay in the north and do her own thing and jon is posed to destroy the united-westeros-because-a-targ-did-it legacy (which like... great bookend bc first legit targ king unites it, bastard stark-targaryen king who most likely is keeping the bastard name undoes it) and he is going to hate each second of it, so it doesn't add up with sansa getting her happy love song fairytale romance... which again she can get from other people that the text strongly pointed at already.

so: no because it makes no sense thematically for either of them and for that matter I don't even think jon*erys is eventual endgame tho I guess it has to happen at this point given the show mess idk but if either of them had to be j*nerys would make a load more sense and I still think that a targ restoration with two monarchs keeping on being monarchs is not what a dude who is obviously anti-monarchy has in mind for the endgame. like no offense to anyone into it ofc but again it has zero textual basis for being romantic endgame and it wouldn't even make either of them happy bc jon is not sansa's gentle brave strong knight and sansa isn't the kind of woman jon is actually into (ygritte reminded him of arya I mean) and idt he'd get romantic feelings for his sister who he's going to think of in that terms anyway so there's my two cents. and I understand that it's not smth that a lot of people would agree with but take it up with grrm because he's the one putting that in the text and not me X°D

[robininthelabyrinth]

I need to know what u think of an AU where JC is the one who dies (sacrificing his life to save WWX) instead of JYL, he’s not as angry with WWX bc JYL is still alive so when he sees his brother about to get murdered he just steps in front of him while JYL and WWX see :) I don’t even know what I want u to do with this? Give me some headcanons? Is it a prompt? Idk I just want u to to see what u make of this (I promise JC is my fav but my mind likes to make me suffer :p)

1

It wasn’t a matter of conscious thought when Jiang Cheng threw himself between that cultivator’s sword and Wei Wuxian’s unguarded back, all his defenses down in the face of Jiang Yanli’s pleading, same as always; it was just instinct. Wei Wuxian was always the troublemaker, the crazy one, and Jiang Cheng always the one being dragged along; he’d long ago learned to spend all his time watching his shixiong’s back, keeping him away from dogs, away from angry shopkeepers, away from any harm. It was instinct, just as it had been the day he’d thrown himself out into the street to distract the Wens, and he’d always justified that instinct because he knew that Wei Wuxian would do the same for him.

Though – he didn’t know that anymore, not after everything that happened recently. Wei Wuxian had made him all the promises in the world, to stand by his side through wind and lightning, and he’d seemed to have no issue abandoning those promises, picking the remnants of the Wen sect over the remnants of the Jiang sect without a moment’s hesitation and not even the courtesy of an explanation.

The Yiling Patriarch was all but a stranger to him, and Jiang Cheng still didn’t understand why.

So it was probably stupid of him to react as if the person being stabbed at was Wei Wuxian, not the Yiling Patriarch – stupid of him to give up his life for someone who didn’t care about him nearly as much as Jiang Cheng cared for him.

But that’s why it wasn’t a thought. It was instinct.

He heard someone scream “Jiang Cheng!” as if their heart were breaking, and he thought for a moment that it was Wei Wuxian again, the one who loved him best. Wei Wuxian, not the Yiling Patriarch, who threw him to the dogs over and over again, put his sect at risk of utter destruction a second time over, just to indulge himself and his bizarre fixation on saving the Wens at the expense of everyone else. Who didn’t care about their duty to their sect, to their parents - who didn’t care about him at all.

Jiang Cheng’s heart hurt. It was probably just the sword that’d just been driven through it, though.

Hands grasped at his clothing, pulling him back; his sister’s face had lost all blood, and Wei Wuxian looked as if his world had ended – he wasn’t sure why. Jiang Yanli had her son to care for, a new life in Lanling that she refused to abandon even if Jin Zixuan was now gone; Wei Wuxian had his Wens, his new cultivation – perhaps it was some little regret, far too late, for the Jiang sect that would now come to grief, leaderless, the end of their family line and the disappointment of their ancestors. Jiang Cheng’s final and most absolute failure.

Jiang Cheng looked at them both, the ones he loved the most and who had left him without a single glance backwards, and found with his last breath that he had nothing to say to them.

He closed his eyes so they wouldn’t have to.

2

The battlefield was full of corpses, and Jiang Yanli didn’t care about a single one of them.

“Do you think he can be brought back, the way Wen Ning was?” she asked, holding the corpse in her arms as if it were still the baby brother she sang songs to as a child, the little crybaby who was so fierce on the outside and so soft on the inside. She had been able to lie to herself with Jin Zixuan’s body – he almost looked as though he were sleeping, head on the pillow beside her own – but Jiang Cheng had never slept well in his life, his brow always furrowed as if he was worrying about something even in his dreams, and the blank peace on his face was so wrong that she couldn’t bear to look at him.

She wasn’t asking Wei Wuxian.

Wei Wuxian had only stopped the massacre when Lan Wangji, of all unlikely people, had bodily tackled him; everyone had always said that the Second Jade was like oil and water with her A-Xian, but he’d unexpectedly taken their side in this battle and was even now letting a barely-conscious Wei Wuxian sob Jiang Cheng’s name into his collar. He looked silently at her, his gaze a quiet reminder that her question was inappropriate – one Ghost General had already been enough to cause all of this tragedy, and certainly no one would ever accept another as a sect leader.

She looked steadily back at him, indicating in return that she didn’t give a damn about the standing of the Jiang sect if it meant she wouldn’t have to bury her baby brother.

Lan Wangji hesitated, looking down at Wei Wuxian. “You cannot stay at Yiling,” he finally said. “After this…”

They’d killed people from virtually every sect; no matter who had sympathized with Wei Wuxian before this or how much they felt he was wronged, they would have no choice but to raise up arms against him.

Jiang Yanli understood. They would be fugitives, condemned by all. She didn’t care. “Will you help us?”

He nodded and stood, Wei Wuxian cradled as gently in his arms as she held Jiang Cheng in hers.

“Will you come with us?” she asked. Anyone who loved her brother enough to defy his sect, to stain his untainted blade with the blood of his own kin, deserved a chance to court him properly, if she hadn’t misunderstood his intentions; she didn’t think she had, not with the expression so clear on his silent face.

“I will help you,” he said, and that wasn’t an answer, wasn’t the one she wanted, but it would have to do for now. “Let us go.”

3

It was Jin Zixuan who figured it out, oddly enough. Perhaps it was because he was an outsider, looking at the situation without affection to blur his eyes.

“You gave him your golden core,” he said, less than a week into his resurrection – Lan Wangji had been very efficient in his help, not only finding a new place to hide Jiang Yanli and the remaining Wens but also returning to Lanling to steal Jin Zixuan’s corpse and little Jin Ling before returning to his own sect at the first sign that Wei Wuxian would awaken from his coma. He hadn’t sent word since that time, whether from regret or other reasons; their only consolation was that there was no news of his death. “That’s why you couldn’t do anything other than demonic cultivation – is that right?”

Wei Wuxian looked at him through blood-red eyes. “Get lost,” he said; the phrase made up the majority of his vocabulary, these days, and because he refused to curse his shijie he mostly ended up not talking to her at all.

“Wen Qing was a famous doctor – she could have figured out a way to do it, and that would explain why you felt so indebted to them,” Jin Zixuan continued. “You never told him because you didn’t want to burden him. But instead you left him without any reason, any explanation: he must have felt that you abandoned him because you didn’t want him.”

“Get lost!”

“You broke his heart,” he said, and looked down at Jiang Cheng’s body – still perfectly preserved, but unmoving. The resurrection spell had already failed three times. “No wonder he doesn’t want to return.”

“I did it for him!” Wei Wuxian screamed, tears of blood dripping down his cheeks. “He didn’t – he wouldn’t – he has to come back!”

Jin Zixuan said nothing.

4

They ended up back in Yunmeng, rather unexpectedly; the new leadership of the Lotus Pier, a distant branch cousin who’d survived the massacre because he’d been night-hunting elsewhere, had all but begged Jiang Yanli to return. Against all odds her reputation had survived the massacre at the Nightless City; the loving wife, sister, and shijie that nearly sacrificed herself to save what lives she could and to banish the dreadful Yiling Patriarch who was never seen again from that day forth –  she was very nearly regarded as an incarnation of the goddess of mercy.

She had no idea where that ridiculous notion came from, but it did mean that she could live in Lotus Pier again, with Jin Ling by her side – she’d told Jin Guangshan to name someone else as his heir, or at minimum as regent; the Jiang sect needed her and her son more. It wouldn’t have worked if Jin Zixuan hadn’t snuck into his mother’s room to convince Madam Jin to throw her support behind it; officially he was still in his tomb, since Lan Wangji had been very subtle, but in fact he lived within shouting distance of the Lotus Pier, spending his days playing with his son.

They all did, actually, the whole lot of them resettled into a tiny adjacent water town populated largely by civilians that relied on the Jiang sect for their prosperity. As long as Wei Wuxian never did anything, which he didn’t, the illusion that he was gone for good in a cloud of self-destruction after his terrible massacre could be maintained; no one expected they could possibly be so daring as to simply go home after all of it.

Lan Wangji was in seclusion, they were eventually told; Wei Wuxian hadn’t believed it for one second, smuggling himself into Gusu to check – he’d come back unconscious, slung over Jin Zixuan’s shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

“Struck by the discipline whip,” her husband, the fierce corpse that wasn’t fierce at all, said, and didn’t comment when she instinctively reached out to touch Jiang Cheng’s body, to trace the scar he had; she often spent her days next to the bed that preserved his corpse. “Many times; his body is ruined. It will take years for him to heal – the Lan sect saying he was in seclusion was their way of saving face. Wei Wuxian wants to bring him back to the Lotus Pier to hide him.”

Jiang Yanli rubbed her face, thinking not for the first time that the world would be an easier place if only her two brothers weren’t so stubborn. One who wouldn’t wake up, his spiritual consciousness all in pieces; the other who wouldn’t give up – “The Lan sect wouldn’t accept that.”

“He wasn’t planning on asking. That’s why I knocked him out. Anyway, they’re distracted with the Xue Yang matter now – my father’s still insisting on protecting him, and the Nie sect gets angrier about it by the day; without the Jiang sect, there’s only the Lan to play peacemaker, stop there from being another war.”

Jiang Yanli, who was very nice but also very much not the goddess of mercy, tilted her head to the side; something of her mother was in her eyes. “A war would be a good cover, though, or at least the rumblings of one. If we were going to steal Lan Wangji away from his sect, that is.”

He kissed her forehead. “I’ll sneak into Lanling to talk to my mother, maybe see if I can follow Xue Yang and see what he’s up to. You go talk to the Nie.”

5

Jiang Yanli’s visit to the Unclean Realm turned out to be more fruitful than anyone had expected. The moment she walked into Nie Mingjue’s receiving room, her Jiang sect bell rang so hard that it shattered, which it definitely hadn’t done during the war – they both stared at it wordlessly for a while.

Eventually, he cleared his throat, averting his eyes. “You know my family history,” he offered as an explanation, embarrassment at the public revelation of his problem already turning to anger but suppressed by his strict adherence to etiquette.

“That’s no family history,” she said, bemused, as she crouched down to poke at the pieces. “The silver bell of the Jiang sect can steady focus and calm the mind, and the ones made for the family are the strongest by far; it would only shatter like this in the effort to resist a spiritual poison…how are you feeling now, Sect Leader Nie?”

He considered for a long moment, and his face grew black with rage. “Better. I feel – like my mind has been filled with fog, and a clear breeze has blown it clear.”

She smiled up at him. “Perhaps you should visit Yunmeng.”

He scowled, and she realized he must know about Wei Wuxian’s presence, though she wasn’t sure how; despite that, in the end, after a roaring argument with Nie Huaisang in another room, he agreed to go, even if the idea of staying willfully blind clearly pained him to the core.

Jiang Yanli quietly approved of his decision to put family over principle.

When they put their mind to it, the Nie sect  had an underrated talent for saying ‘I don’t know’ to just about everything. Neither brother blinked an eye at the Wen sect remnants that still teetered every time they went on a boat, very clearly not Yunmeng locals; they politely greeted Jin Zixuan as if he’d only been gone a while and not murdered; much to his older brother’s very evident irritation, Nie Huaisang even leapt over to give Wei Wuxian an enthusiastic hug while Nie Mingjue was still talking with Jin Zixuan about what it meant that Jin Guangshan had hidden away the still intact Wen Ning, who Jin Zixuan had found in a hidden part of Koi Tower during his most recent visit and immediately liberated.

“Definitely a case of spiritual poisoning,” Wei Wuxian said after a short examination, and the most reliable doctor they had left in the Jiang sect concurred. “The silver bell can help a little –” 

They’d already shattered seven of them, but Nie Mingjue had actually cracked a smile for the first time in months, to hear a sobbingly relieved Nie Huaisang tell it. 

“–but it can only help so much; that technique is really only meant for acute cases. And you really need to figure out what was doing the poisoning; there’s no point in curing you if you’re only going to get poisoned again.”

“A matter for a later time,” Nie Mingjue, who clearly had some suspicions that made him look as though he’d been stabbed in the back, said. “Now that we know it’s a poisoning, and my mind is clearer, I can take some action myself – the Nie have plenty of techniques to stabilize the spirit.”

Wei Wuxian’s smile was full of self-hatred, as it always was these days. “I don’t suppose any of those are designed to work on the dead.”

“Actually,” Nie Huaisang said. “Several are. Why do you ask?”

6

Jiang Cheng opened his eyes.

[lan-xichens]

wait no i also want to recognise that everything you said about wwx is super valid like i feel there's less of a debate there but!! oh shit wait maybe wwx does also have rejection sensitive dysphoria (an emotional sensitivity and pain triggered by the perception that a person has been rejected or criticized by important people in their life. It may also be triggered by a sense of falling short—failing to meet their own high standards or others’ expectations.)

sorry for the complete spam but the rejection sensitive dysphoria can also lead to outbursts when you externalize it, ie in anger etc.- but it can also lead you to become like a people's pleaser (like i kinda do feel this sounds more like wwx) as for the like- starting something and not wanting to stop, i think it's a hyperfocus thing, bc you start something and you get in the flow and then you're afraid to stop bc when you pick it up again you won't feel the same (nd then you overwork yourself)

No no not spam at all! Sorry I couldn’t get to it the other day, but thanks for elaborating on this. But rejection sure is a theme amongst Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng like, oof.

But I definitely see how you brought that up for Jiang Cheng because, his entire life and story seem to revolve around him trying to earn his place and win the respect of those he cares about, but both intentionally and unintentionally, he keeps being sidelined.

First, by his parents:

And, both Jiang Cheng’s looks and personality took after his mother. He hadn’t ever been to Jiang FengMian’s liking. Since birth, he taught him in many ways, yet he still couldn’t change, which was why Jiang FengMian had always seemed as though he didn’t favor him too much.

Jiang Cheng pulled Wei WuXian’s hand away and stood up, letting out his anger, “I know! I know that I don’t have the personality he likes, that I’m not the heir he wants. He thinks that I don’t deserve to be Sect Leader, that I don’t understand the motto of the Jiang Sect, that I don’t have the air of the Jiang Sect in me at all! Those are all true!” - GDC chapter 56

How do you compete for the affection and approval of your parents if one of them rejects your entire being based on your personality? Jiang Fengmian’s favouritism towards Wei Wuxian is one of the massive parts influencing how JC and WWX interact, because there must be so so so much jealousy involved on Jiang Cheng’s part.

But even his mother never pulls her punches in criticising him, and adds fuel to this fire.

Jiang Cheng sat still as he looked up at her, “Mom.”

Madam Yu stood up and mocked, “What do you want me to do? Like your father, you want me to hold my tongue? You really are an idiot. I’ve told you long ago that you’ll never in your whole life be able to surpass the one sitting beside you. Not over cultivation, not over night-hunting, even over shooting kites, you can’t surpass him! It can’t be helped. Who could change the fact that your mom is worse than another’s? Worse it is, then. Your mom feels injustice for you, tells you countless times not to fool around with him, yet you’re still defending him. Just how did I give birth to a son like you?!” - GDC chapter 51

So between the two of his parents, there’s no pleasing either, no matter how hard Jiang Cheng tries to win their approval and live up to their expectations. I feel this is why Wei Wuxian attributes a competitive nature to him, but he misconstrues that; I don’t think Jiang Cheng seeks competition so much as he seeks approval, understanding the expectations of him as the future sect leader. He’s not trying to out-do Wei Wuxian’s cultivation because he wants to be better, necessarily, he just wants to prove to both his parents that he’s not... lesser than him. But he wouldn’t have had to do it if they hadn’t been the ones to constantly pit him against his brother in the first place!

But even with the situation being like that (and while we can address it in meta, I know this is probably not something Jiang Cheng could ever admit to himself or to any close to him lest he insults his parents), but even then, he seems to be able to take it in stride so long as Wei Wuxian doesn’t turn his back on him.

And that’s the unintentional part, because this does sadly happen, at least on the surface.

Their conversation at the Burial Mounds is one I’ve wanted to scream about for so long, because the miscommunications there run so deep you couldn’t see the bottom of it. But focussed on rejection, it’s this:

A while later, Jiang Cheng spoke, “Wei WuXian, have you still not realized what the situation at hand is like? Do you really need me to say it out loud? If you insist on protecting them, then I won’t be able to protect you.”

Wei WuXian, “There’s no need to protect me. Just let go.”

Jiang Cheng’s face twisted. - GDC chapter 73

As some super helpful posts have already pointed out, Wei Wuxian’s defection from the Jiang clan is a disloyal thing to do, regardless of his reasons. But I also think that, to some extent, Jiang Cheng feels it as a personal rejection as well.

CQL adds two very painful exchanges here:

JC: They turn out to be a group of the old, young, and weak. All useless! WWX: All useless? Can’t you speak in a good manner?

Jiang Cheng means they are no threat, so the sect leaders are wrong. Wei Wuxian hears him dismiss the lives of those he must consider worthless. This leads up to:

JC: What on earth are you doing this for? WWX: Jiang Cheng, I’ll tell you honestly. Even if it weren’t for Wen Qing and her brother, or for anyone else, I’d make the exact same choice.

Jiang Cheng asks why he would turn his back on the Jiang clan, Wei Wuxian hears him challenge his righteousness and his reason for protecting the innocent. Wei Wuxian explains he would do the right thing for anyone, Jiang Cheng hears he would always choose to reject the Jiang clan, and by extension himself, no matter for who it was.

This comes back at the Guanyin Temple:

On the other hand, Jiang Cheng refused to give up, shouting, “Wei WuXian, who was the one who broke his promise and betrayed the Jiang Sect first? Tell me. That I’d be the sect leader and you’d be my subordinate, that you’d help me your whole life, that so long as the GusuLan Sect had its Two Jades, the YunmengJiang Sect would have its Two Prides, that you’d never betray me or betray the Jiang Sect—who was the one that said these?! I’m asking you—who was the one that said all these?! Did you eat all your fucking words?!”

He got more agitated as he ranted on, “And in the end? You go and protect outsiders, haha! The Wen Sect’s people, even. How much of their rice did you eat?! Defecting with such resolution! What did you take our sect to be?! - GDC chapter 102

Actually, while I love rewatching this scene as so many things keep jumping out at me, it’s even better to reread this part in the novel. I’d forgotten how much extra background we get on just how far this misunderstanding goes.

Why does Wei Wuxian tell him to let things go, and not to keep this matter in his heart?

Wei WuXian pressed his temples, “Forget it. It’s all in the past now. Let’s not mention it again.”

It wasn’t something he liked to reminisce about. He didn’t want to be reminded again and again of what it felt like when his core was cut out or what price he had to pay. If this were exposed in the past, he’d most likely laugh and comfort Jiang Cheng, ‘It’s not that big of a deal anyways. Look at me all these years. Without the core, I still managed to come through, didn’t I? Beating everyone I wanted to beat, killing everyone I wanted to kill.’ But now, he indeed didn’t have the strength left to put up such a confident, nonchalant pretense. - GDC chapter 103

Maybe I was the one who misintrepreted this line in my head, but CQL makes it seem so much like Wei Wuxian is fully at peace with giving up his core, and he wants to impress on Jiang Cheng to find his peace with it as well. But in truth, it’s exactly the opposite, because Wei Wuxian doesn’t want to admit to how difficult it was and still is for him, but he doesn’t want to show him that his decision haunts him.

Which just smacks of a conversation they still need to have.

And also begs the question why CQL went for the second bolded line; why have Wei Wuxian smile and comfort him and try to soothe things over? It was an incredibly sweet moment, sure, but the words were so confusing to me, and now I see why. His heart shouldn’t have been in it at all.

None of this addresses Wei Wuxian’s relationship with rejection at all - how he always struggles to find his place and to solidify his standing with certain people, but how it’s always on loose screws. But the way he treats himself as disposable, especially towards the Jiang clan, was still the whole catalyst for this situation in the first place.

[purplesurveys]

1183

survey by xflirtykaosx

Alphabetti Spaghetti (1/3)

And we will fall in love with shooting stars. - A

Have you ever seen an Aardvark? I don’t think so.

Were you ever abandoned in a public place as a child? Where? Abandoned is a pretty harsh word lol. My parents did like playing pranks on me and hide whenever I’d get distracted at the grocery or department store. They’d let me get nervous or even tear up for a bit until showing up again.

What accent do you have? I guess just your standard Filipino English accent that’s common among people who were able to take up English studies. I don’t really know how to describe it.

Is there someone in your family addicted to something? What is it? I don’t think so.

Have you ever been under general anaesthetic? What were you having done? I think so? When I had a tooth extraction done on me two years ago I was told I was going to be injected with anaesthesia, but I didn’t feel as if anything changed throughout the procedure. Either my dentist told me fake news lol or he’s just really good at his job for me to not notice anything.

How do you show the ones you love affection? It depends on the person. Around my friends, I know I’ve had taken a liking to them once I start getting especially talkative with them. For people I have even deeper relationships with, I like...buying them gifts, I guess. Getting them things that remind me of them. I would also bend over backwards to do nice deeds for them, like driving them to their destination even if I find it far.

Are you more passive or aggressive? I tend to be very passive aggressive in the way I deal with things.

Do you like the band Aha!? Not in particular.

Do you know anyone called Aidan? What are they like? Nope.

Ever heard of the band Ajax? No but I know that’s a brand of like cleaner or something. That’s close enough to ‘band’ haha.

Do you know anyone called Akash? I don’t either.

Do the sound of fire alarms scare you? They would obviously be scary if it rang for a real reason. Who wouldn’t freak out over a fire?

Do you live in America? If so, which state? If visited, where'd you go? No, and I’ve never visited either. I’d love to take a trip to cities like New York, New Orleans, Portland, and Chicago one of these days.

Have you ever had an ant infestation in your house? Only when there’s food left out accidentally.

Aora - did I spell that correctly? I don’t even know what you’re referring to, so I can’t tell you if you’ve spelled whatever it is right.

Do you have a preference in Apple? What type do you prefer? I don’t quite get this question - like a preference within Apple products? I mean, a phone and a laptop are essentials for me, and generally I do prefer having an iPhone and Macbook over other brands; but I can live without an iPad, an Apple Watch, iMac, Apple Pen, etc...if this is what you mean.

Are you an Aquarian? Is anyone in your family/your partner/best friend? ...You mean Aquarius? No. I don’t believe in astrology nor pay attention to zodiac signs either, so I wouldn’t be able to name Aquariuses that I know right off the bat.

Have you ever worn any type of armor? Which type? I don’t think I’ve ever had to, no.

Do you use the word ass a lot? Kinda, but it’s usually part of a longer word, i.e. asshole, asshat, deadass, etc.

Have you or your family had an attorney? What for? Not to my knowledge.

Is your car/family’s car an automatic gear or manual? Automatic.

Are you interested in aviation, piloting and aircrafts? Just the slightest bit. I would love to learn how to fly a plane, and I would be willing to pay for lessons. It’s just the type of activity that’s super hard to squeeze into an already-hectic schedule of mine.

What was the last award you recieved for? A academic distinction in college.

Axl Rose - like or dislike? Like, but I’m nowhere near a passionate fan. I just don’t have any reasons to actively dislike him.

Do you like air being spelt ayre or ayer in rap or hiphop or is it nasty? I don’t care.

Is the sky outside Azure? If not, what shade is it? No, it’s pitch black.

Belle amour (we've been here before). - B

Do you call anyone baby? Is it sweet or an overrated name for affection? Just my dogs. I find it sweet; it’s my preferred term of endearment if in a relationship.

Bby - does this shortened version bug you? No; my friends and I use this with each other.

Do you know what BC in terms of time stands for? Before Christ, but I prefer using BCE.

BDf - For or against? I don’t know what this is referring to.

Do you prefer beach breaks, city breaks or winter breaks? Why? Beach breaks. Winter break is an immediate cross-out since we don’t even have winter; and I already live and work in an urban area as it is. Beaches are my way to go if I want to escape life for a bit and completely unwind.

Do you spell out boyfriend properly or put bf in texts/online? I can use either depending on what I feel like typing out. It’s not that serious haha.

Do you know what bg is short for? Upon reading this question I immediately thought ‘background,’ but if this question had another meaning in mind I wouldn’t be aware of it.

Do you know anyone with the last name Bhays? No.

Have you ever been bird watching? What did you see? No, doesn’t sound like my kind of hobby.

Do you like Bjork? Not in particular, but just like the Axl Rose question I don’t have anything against her either.

What does this read: bk 2moz miss u lyk fk. Doesn't this text speak annoy? No one types like this anymore at least among people I know, but I imagine it would lowkey bother me a bit.

Do you like BMWs? They’re whatever. I don’t pay attention to cars much.

What is the nearest book to you called? How many times have you read it? There aren’t any books here up on the rooftop.

BnQ - gone there? What did you buy? Idk what that is.

Are you more brainy or brave? I wanna say brainy, if anything? I’m pretty jumpy lol.

Did you like the BSBs (Backstreet Boys) as a kid? How about now? No, I’m a little too young for that generation of artists and groups.

Burgers, Hot Dogs or Salads at a Barbecue? We don’t really practice ~barbecues~ here. But at Filipino parties I would usually flock to lumpia and fried chicken, hehe.

Do you have a Byro? No, because I also don’t know what that is.

Cold eyes and filthy lies all leave me petrified. - C

Do you have a Cactus (Cacti)? No, I don’t like plans.

Do you know what a CCTV is? Yes...?

How many CDs are in the room you are currently in? None where I am right now but I have all of Beyoncé’s albums save for Lemonade in my bedroom. I also have Paramore’s self-titled album and Hayley Williams’ Petals For Armor. My CD collection is about to experience a revival because of BTS, though. My plan to get all versions of all their albums is rock solid, lmao.

What's your favourite cereal brand? Cookie Crisps.

Do you like children's TV shows still? Which one(s)? I’ll revisit an episode or two of shows I watched as a kid at a given time for old times’ sake, but I don’t regularly watch children’s TV shows anymore. I haven’t for a very long time.

Cinnamon - Yum or Yuck? I’m actually kind of in the middle about it. I feel like too many desserts have been banking on cinnamon, so the taste of it can be a little tiring. It’s delicious if I haven’t had it for a while, though.

Do you know anyone with the initials and or name CJ? Quite the opposite; I know PLENTY of JCs, even my sister is one. I know one or two CJs but that’s it.

Have you ever met a self professed clairvoyant? What did they do/say? No.

Do you watch CNN News? What's your prefered news channel/show? I don’t tune into the channel but every once in a while I will encounter a CNN link on social media that I’d actually click on and read through. As for preferred news sources, I don’t have one as there are matters to criticize about 99% of them lol; but I am most likely to trust articles I from AP or Reuters. Just things you pick up as a journalism student. 

How many cousins do you have? I have 9 first cousins. I lose count by the time I try to go beyond that since I don’t even know all of my dad’s cousins, which makes it hard to track who my second cousins are.

Do you still draw with crayons? When was the last time you did? Drew what? I don’t remember anymore.

Do you know what a CSS feed is? What is it? I’m familiar with the term but never bothered to learn about what it is.

Do you like cycling/biking? What type of bike do you have? ...I don’t even know how to ride a bike.

Do you really like it, is it is it wicked. - D

What is the most dangerous animal you've petted/held? I can’t decide between snake or crocodile.

Do you like Death Metal? If so, which band(s)? I wouldn’t say I do.

Did you ever keep a diary/journal? I did a million attempts to keep a diary when I was younger, but I was never able to keep up with any of them and I ended up having 4598358395 notebooks with one or two entries each at most. Having a Tumblr page for surveys has so far been my most successful streak at keeping some type of journal.

Do you prefer small, medium, large or no dogs? I prefer all dogs.

Do you know what DP stands for in porn? Yes.

Have you ever dressed up as a celebrity for a party/Halloween? I went as my favorite female wrestler once. I wouldn’t strictly call her a celebrity, but she’s a very well-known personality in the wrestling industry so she’s popular in that right.

DS or Wii? Why? Wii. I was able to make more memories with it.

Does dust make you sneeze or cough? Sneeze, usually.

How many DVDs do you have all together? Idk, I don’t buy DVDs anymore.

Do you dye your hair regularly, sometimes or never? I’ve never done it.

Every love lies sometimes . . . - E

What's something you refuse to eat? Most fruits.

Don't you think the word ebb is so pretty? I’m neutral about it. I don’t use it a lot.

Do you like Chocolate Eclairs? I love eclairs in general haha. Chocolate eclairs in particular sound delicious.

Ever tried edible paper? Yeah, with the White Rabbit candy.

Eevee - pretty name or too Pokemon-y? Definitely very Pokemon-y. 

Do you sometimes mix up the spellings/meanings of affection and defection? Erm, no? They have completely different spellings and meanings, so I personally have never switched them up.

Do you have a big ego, low self esteem or somewhere in between? I think I’m somewhere in between. I’m insecure about some things about myself, but I don’t really put myself down 24/7. I feel like that would put such a strain on my mental health, which I certainly would never need.

What Element does your starsign fall under? I think earth? My co-workers were just discussing this last Friday, but I couldn’t really butt in since I can’t bring myself to care about astrology. I know they mentioned Taurus being an earth sign though.

Do you show your emotions easily and freely or hide them? Depends...I can do either depending on the situation.

What is your favourite form of entertainment? Korean reality shows are quickly becoming a favorite of mine at the moment. I also like compilation videos on YouTube.

What will they write on your epitaph? I’ve honestly hadn’t put much thought into this yet, and I don’t plan to anytime soon. It just seems like a super grave thing to think about lol.

Estimate/guess what number we are on now? Maybe 60s or 70s?

Do you know basic social etiquette? I mean etiquette will always differ per country or culture, so what is basic in other countries might not be here, and vice versa. I think it’s hard to measure.

Does your country use the Euro, Great British Pound, Dollar or other? Other.

Do you still get excited on Christmas Eve? Yes. Mostly for the free food and the opportunity to see relatives I really only ever see every December 24.

What animal/creature that is extinct do you wish wasn't? Those that went extinct from human activity.

What colour eyes do your parents have? Black/dark brown.

[upside-blue]

Your MDZS posts are iconic! I think I just rebloged you’re whole blog ajahahsgshshshs you mentioned a dark!lwj au where he rips out JCs golden core bc it’s wwxs and that’s peak content is there a post??????

thank you so much for your kind words! There is no post for dark!lwj rips out JC’s golden core AU just yet but I will elaborate if you want!

Ok so: Somehow LWJ could find out about WWX giving up his golden core to JC. I mean, there was lots of evidence including JC suddenly getting way stronger after rumors about Wen Zhuliu destroying his core and WWX disappearing. The way WWX never used his sword again. Why WWX wouldn’t return to Gusu to be redeemed.

So I imagine he just wakes up a few years into his grief, 2 am galaxy brain moment, and has that Realization. It all makes sense! And it pushes LWJ down this huge spiral of grief and guilt. He kept pushing WWX and asking him to return to the path of the sword which would have been impossible for him, of course WWX had refused! He never even noticed how much WWX had lost, how much he was hurting. How much he had given up.

And for Jiang Wanyin! The man who killed him! WWX had given up everything, his whole life, had condemned himself to the darkness for his sworn brother and this ingrate of a man killed him for it. After he had refused to stand by him like he didn’t owe WWX a debt he could never repay.

And then in the midst of his wallowing, a single thought emerges: Jiang Wanyin doesn’t deserve this golden core. If anyone should get to hold onto the last living piece of WWX, it should be him.

(Well, he knows that this isn’t what WWX would want. He tries to stop himself, really he does, because this is wrong, LWJ can’t just kill someone WWX used to cherish for his selfish desires. It won’t bring WWX back. It would cause so much trouble for the Lan Sect, would basically ruin the Jiang sect, might plunge them back into war. And he has to take care of a-Yuan, he can’t just abscond with blood on his hands and a stolen core in a quiakun pouch and leave chaos behind. But in the end... He just wants to feel close to WWX again. He just wants to feel warm again.)

Maybe he plans this. He makes preparations, a pouch or other artefact that can hold a core (For this AU it would be much cooler if he could swap the cores or at least replace his own with wwx’s but he’d need a doctor with some mad skill or some kind of forbidden core-swapping ritual for that. Though that would also be a cool option), a way to get to Yunmeng undiscovered, stuff like that. Or maybe he doesn’t and just runs, as soon as he can. And then he shows up in the middle of the night in JC’s bedroom, wielding a dagger and a manic glint in his eyes, whispering about how he just needs to feel close to WWX again, how he just wants him back, even just this little bit.

And once JC puzzles out the meaning behind his insane rambling he goes so into shock with the Realizations that he forgets to struggle for a bit while LWJ carves the core out of his chest.

RIP JC lmao.

OR AU where he figures it out in the middle of some meeting due to an off-hand remark of JGY’s (who just woke up that day wanting to cause problems on purpose) and throws himself at JC sword first right then and there. Carves JC’s chest up to grab the core but because he isn’t a skilled doctor operating on a willing patient the thing just disperses like a second after he grabs it and clutches it close, and he has destroyed the last of WWX and dishonored his sacrifice and... eh, maybe the other people at the meeting will stop him beforehand and he gets restrained to helplessly scream demands for the core and accusations in JC’s face until JC gets it and breaks down and then both of them start crying, like, wouldn’t that be fun. The meeting is probably at carp tower so they can test it out with suibian right there and cause a huge inter-sect incident.

OR slightly less angsty AU where LWJ realizes he can’t get the core out of JC without risking dispersion. Another way the core could disperse is if JC dies, which would be unacceptable. So he just kidnaps JC, keeps him tied up and helpless and just basks in being in the presence of a living part of WWX while JC rapidly oscillitates between Scared, Annoyed, Extremely Angry At The Insane Man and Having Core-Related Realizations. That could actually be pretty sweet, too, with both of them having to confront their grief over WWX, and with awkward angry kidnappee JC having to stiltingly console a weeping mid-breakdown Lan Wangji in some cave. Imagine it. This might actually be my favourite iteration of that idea.

Either way when WWX wakes back up he is gonna be mad big time at his Lan Zhan.

Anyway thanks again for that sweet message anon, I hope you enjoyed my ramblings!

[ginmo]

Hi. I was wondering, if Cersei had lost the baby and Jaime was told about it, do you think Jaime would still have gone back to her and left Brienne as he did? Bc he didnt seem to want to go back bc of the baby but mostly just to see Cersei "addiction"?

This is a really difficult question to answer because of how inconsistent Jaime was written in regards to that pointless af pregnancy plot. I’m going to try to answer this in two parts.

1. “he didn’t seem to want to go back bc of the baby but mostly just to see Cersei addiction” 

- In the books it’s made clear that Jaime is wanting to be a father to his children, especially with Tommen. In S5 they attempted to adapt that element of his arc by having him bond with Myrcella before she died in his arms. He even revealed to her that he was her father, which he didn’t have to do but he wanted her to know because... he... wants to father. So yes, there were hints of Jaime desiring that on the show as well. (this is also a clue that they had a different endgame in mind for him but I’ll save that for another rant)

- S7 he get C pregnant and seems kinda happy? But then also wtf about it? Nikolaj explained it as Jaime being happy for a brief second because he never got to father before and he’s excited to openly be able to father his children but then Cersei says “don’t ever betray me again” and then he realized “he was fucking Darth Vader”. (seriously, bless this man) So he’s happy? But conflicted? 

- Then in the finale of S7 he’s arguing about the future and life of his unborn child? So... he DOES care? 

- But then in episode 2 of S8 Tyrion asks if the pregnancy is true and he’s like “LE SIGH yes” AND THAT WAS LITERALLY IT? Like... they didn’t have him be all “I’m fighting for my unborn child” or whatever. 

- THEN in episode 5 of S8 he tells Cersei that THE BABY DOESN’T FUCKING MATTER- JDFGHSLDFJGHSD. 

(Nikolaj’s pre-season interviews about Jaime and his motivation with wanting to protect the baby contradict what was actually shown on screen because there was literally no scene in S8 that showed he was thinking about that baby)

So he went from: not being a father figure and not actively trying -> wanting to father enough that he decided to be risky and tell Myrcella the truth -> briefly happy -> conflicted -> not giving a shit about the baby. Why the fuck did they even try to adapt his fatherhood arc on the show with Myrcella if they were just going to drop it like that and do nothing with it? .....................

So yeah. From what was shown on screen in S8, he didn’t go back for the baby. 

2. “if Cersei had lost the baby and Jaime was told about it, do you think Jaime would still have gone back to her and left Brienne as he did?” 

If I was trying to keep him consistent with their addiction bullshit, then yes, but my answer is NO. He wouldn’t have gone back. Why? Because I firmly believe that the miscarriage plot was tied to a completely different endgame. 

It’s pretty damn obvious that D&D were writing season by season (they even admitted to changing shit because fans started to catch on like...?!) and they already proved that they made some critical endgame changes between S7 and S8. We know Nikolaj was told very early on that Jaime’s arc was going to get adapted and that he was going to leave Cersei because SINCE SEASON 4 he was bothering the writers about their adaptation changes and asking them when the fuck he was going to leave. 

Like… fucking look at this from a 2014 interview. 

“With Tyrion, although Jaime is different, their relationship at its core is the same. Of course things have changed with Cersei.

Jaime’s whole life has been planned out so he could be close to Cersei. Now he's coming to the realization that the love he thought they had didn't exist. That doesn't mean he can just shut out his own feelings – because he can't. But Jaime is becoming the man that he's meant to be. It's a constant struggle for him, but he's trying to learn who he is. He knows that he cannot continue to live his life on Cersei's terms or his father's terms” [x]

Poor Nikolaj thought they were adapting the break-up way back then (like they should have). This interview was done when there was NO REASON for anyone to think that show!Jaime was questioning their love because D&D didn’t even adapt their break-up that season and even MADE UP A SEX SCENE from a book scene that actually had him reject her. This was also around the time GRRM had spoken to Gwen about her character and Jaime/Brienne, so I’m assuming he had to have spoken with Nikolaj as well, which would explain why he bothered D&D for years, starting around S4. 

Because Nikolaj speaks so confidently in this interview about his interpretation, and his interpretation doesn’t match what was shown on screen at all, he HAD to have been told something different. So in the S6 commentary, before he read the S7 scripts, when he’s talking about JC relationship being abusive and he has no fucking clue wtf is up with that relationship anymore while gushing over Brienne and giving his heart away to Brienne, Nikolaj is saying that because he was made to believe that’s where his arc was going. He wouldn’t be saying that stuff so confidently as if it’s fact if he wasn’t told it! Just like he did in S4. He thought for SURE the sept explosion would be the thing to leave for good. He got the S7 scripts, realized that wasn’t the case, complained, they told him to wait until the finale, “never looking back” in the scripts, played it as “I don’t love you anymore,” read S8 scripts and then we get contradictory interviews because he became confused af. 

It’s clear as day they were originally seeding for a JB endgame but then started to sit on the fence about it around the time GRRM left, and this continued season by season. They kept seeding it, just in case, but continued to waffle back and forth until they finally decided last minute to get rid of it because of BTS politics and the imagery of ending on twincest supposedly being good for  visual medium. They reworked their last couple of episodes, thinking they could get away with it without changing anything that came before it, so nothing was consistent. We need to also take into consideration that Lena confirmed they filmed the miscarriage and then implied that it would have taken her character down a different path. I’m assuming they got rid of the miscarriage last minute, because they decided to not make her go mad. If she had gone mad, that would have impacted Jaime’s story as well. Tyrion sure as hell wouldn’t have been convincing Jaime to go save her and escape with her because... she… would have been the Big Bad in the episode… This fits the rumored original outline. It’s important to note that the rumored outline came out before Lena’s confirmation of them FILMING the scene, cutting it, and changing the direction of her character. 

So imo it’s very possible that:

Cersei Miscarriage = JB Endgame 

Cersei Pregnancy = What We Got

[omgkatsudonplease]

恭喜发财~ So jiang cheng found wwx dead on a slab when he went to yiling?? was lwj planning on resurrecting him? omg how did that confrontation went? (;A;)

so jc didn’t actually get the chance to confront lwj about it at yiling, bc he didn’t go into the cave until after lwj had vanished, so this is the next best thing, i think…

The road back to Yunmeng is long and uneventful. Wei Wuxian had feared at first that extended travel in each other’s company would only raise tensions between Lan Wangji and Lan Jingyi, but somehow, by some miracle, they remain remarkably civil to one another. Of course, he knew he could rely on Hanguang-jun to keep his mouth shut, but Lan Jingyi has proven to be possibly the most un-Lan Lan he’d ever known, and therefore was quite unpredictable.

(He doesn’t want to think about the path Lan Xichen is traversing, and how much of that is evident in Lan Jingyi’s sullen glares towards Lan Wangji whenever he does catch them together.)

Still, within a couple of days they’re pulling up to the docks and lotus clusters of his childhood home. Lan Wangji pulls back a little at the sight of Lotus Pier, but at an encouranging gesture from Wei Wuxian he steps forward again, his face as resolute as ever.

Jiang Cheng, on the other hand, takes one look at Lan Wangji before lunging forward and punching him in the face. 

“A-Cheng!” shrieks Wei Wuxian, launching himself in between his shidi and Lan Wangji. “What in heaven’s name has gotten into you?”

“You were dead!” Jiang Cheng hisses. “In Yiling, when I entered that cave, you were dead! What do you think I thought then?”

“It wasn’t his fault!” Wei Wuxian protests.

“Oh, I beg to differ,” Jiang Cheng intones drily. “After all, if it hadn’t for his Stygian Blade, there wouldn’t have been feral corpses tearing out your guts at Nightless City!” 

“I – my guts were fine,” grumbles Wei Wuxian. “He destroyed the blade, A-Cheng. I’m back now. It’s all right.”

“Is it?” Jiang Cheng crosses his arms, glaring heavily at Lan Wangji. “What am I going to do now? If word gets back to Lan Xichen that the Master of Shadows is currently living at Lotus Pier –”

“If it gratifies Sect Leader Jiang to see my departure,” interrupts Lan Wangji, “then I will willingly leave.”

“You’re not going anywhere,” both Yunmeng brothers snap at the same time, but clearly for different reasons. Surprised, Wei Wuxian looks between Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji, before clapping Jiang Sizhui and Jin Rulan on the backs.

“Come on, boys, let’s go assemble these body parts,” he suggests. Lan Jingyi looks almost as if he’d like to protest, but then follows along anyway.

And then Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji are left alone to face one another.

“So,” says Jiang Cheng, the ring on his hand already crackling with purple energy. “I know what you did.”

Lan Wangji raises an eyebrow, as if asking Jiang Cheng to specify exactly what he did. Jiang Cheng glares at him for a long while, the fist holding Zidian clenching and unclenching.

And then he grits his teeth, shakes his head, and says, “A-Ying’s core.”

Lan Wangji exhales, but not quite from relief. 

“After you gave him his core back, I couldn’t help but notice there were some changes in him,” continues Jiang Cheng. He gestures for Lan Wangji to follow him, their steps taking them to the pavilion out on the lake. The lotuses are in full flower, perfuming the air with their sweet scent. “He seemed calmer. His cultivation was more powerful than even before. I’ve never said anything to him about it, but...” 

At the pavilion, he turns and looks Lan Wangji dead in the eyes. 

“You can’t reconstruct a core. You can only transfer one from one body to another. So A-Ying’s core...”

Lan Wangji bows his head. Jiang Cheng sighs, looking down at his hands.

“Anyone who would sacrifice everything they had worked to attain for A-Ying would never willingly kill him, I know.” His voice is heavy, weighed with grief and anger. “So I never believed that about you. But why did you not bring him to me? He was a hero of Yunmeng. He could have been treated here.”

Lan Wangji almost looks contrite at that, as if in his calculations about the world’s reactions to him, he hadn’t considered the possibility that Jiang Cheng might not kill him on sight even if he’d delivered a mortally wounded Wei Wuxian to his door. Jiang Cheng seems to have come to that realisation, too, and he nods, curtly, one hand closing over Zidian’s flicker of energy.

“Do not ever do it again,” he warns. 

Lan Wangji looks down at Jiang Cheng’s hands. “If I ever let Wei Ying come to harm again, it would be a pain I could not bear.” Death would be kinder than another lifetime without him, he doesn’t say, but Jiang Cheng seems to sense it nonetheless. 

“That’s the spirit,” he says drily, clapping him on the shoulder. Lan Wangji is struck by how perfectly Wei Wuxian that movement feels. “He’s been dying for you to come to Yunmeng ever since we were all boys. We might as well show you around.” 

[lansizhuis]

*lurks from your posts* I see someone stans Jiang Cheng here as well helloooooo Can you give some thoughts about him and his relationship with Wei WuXian? Also if you happen to know any fics about them (shippy-wise, brotherly, anything with them), can you recommend some? Thank you!

HELLO!!!!! i got your ask when you sent it days ago but i needed some time to calm down over my feelings for my boys so i’m only answering it now lol

*coughs* WHY DO I LOVE JIANG CHENG???

- his interactions with wwx (the teasing, the brotherhood, the dog story when they were kids — “Although, because of this, he held hostility toward Wei WuXian for a long time, after the two grew familiar, they had begun to cause mischief together. Whenever he ran into dogs, Jiang Cheng would always chase them away, then have a good laugh at Wei WuXian, who jumped onto a tree.”)- he really does care for wwx (his reaction when he found out from lxc that the whippings on wwx would take days to heal, when he carried him, when he tried defending him against his mom despite being scared of her, when he saw what happened to him with the branding iron, his worry when wwx couldn’t swim away, THE WHOLE CONVERSATION WHEN WWX GOT BACK***, how he wanted to help wwx when his mother whipped him, clinging to his mother’s leg when he thought she was gonna cut off wwx hand, when they met again after he “restored” his golden core and wwx has finally started controlling corpses, when he defended him against lwj when they thought lwj wanted wwx punished)- “The two knew how to continue each other’s words ever since they were young. Now, one sentence after another, the argument flowed seamlessly…” shows how close they really are (let’s not talk about the context for this bc that one HURTS)- ***the second time he met w/ wwx in a new body (“From the beginning of his memory until now, Jin Ling had never seen such a look on Jiang Cheng’s face before…Although his face had always been clouded, marked with arrogance and satire, it seemed as if every corner of it had come alive. It was difficult to determine whether it was vengeful wrath, fathomless hatred, or raving ecstasy.”) MAN HE HAS BEEN WAITING and i feel like it’s a confusing mixture of hate (why did he kill shijie) and hurt (where did everything go wrong between them) and a very big bulk of relief (wwx is alive, ALIVE and maybe—maybe they can fix things)- OUR BOY KNEW IT WAS DEF WWX y’all perhaps even from the start and WWX knew this as well (“…he exclaimed in his heart that Jiang Cheng really knew the best way to deal with him.” + “…in front of someone who knew him so thoroughly, it’d be impossible to argue. This was an obstacle harder to overcome than Zidian.”) and he even controlled zidian’s force so it wouldn’t really truly incapacitate wwx- The first person WWX became truthful to upon his return was JC even going as far as to somehow admit who he truly was. His first legit conversation was with him im ahdhkslahdkala (‘Jiang Cheng pulled a curt smile on his face, “… Don’t you have anything to say to me?”’ ‘With a sincere tone, Wei WuXian replied: “I don’t know what to say to you.”’)- BUT ofc since our resident chaotic bi is a runner up for miscommunications this conversation went downhill pretty fast. OK BUT IMAGINE IF THE CONVERSATION WENT BETTER AND WWX ACTUALLY EXPLAINED SOME STUFF - and istg it’s not that im rolling on an ocean of my tears here but jiang cheng fucking kept chenqing (wwx’s flute) for the past 13 years and just in case you guys wanna suffer, just think about these two boys who were brothers that became two men unsure of where exactly things went awry bet them- in short, jiang cheng shouting at wei wuxian = jiang cheng caring for wwx in the past (maybe even a bit of that in their present??? nope dont mind me im just crying in the corner here about my boys)

ps to the anon who sent me the headcanon of jc letting zidian recognize wwx as another master without anyone else knowing I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I THINK AND SCREECH ABOUT THAT EVERY NOW AND THEN

FOR THE FIC REC, im so sorry for failing you but i don’t know of anything ahshfdlalajdh IF ANYONE KNOWS ANY, PLEASE DO SEND THEM IN ❤️

tl;dr JIANG CHENG: *aggressively cares*

[stvrmfrcis-blog]

here’s some mini intros while i work on figuring out legitimate things !! if anyone would like to plot or anything, just like this or hmu or msg me on discord @ chvndelicr#4076

let’s start with brandon.

BRANDON O’CONNOR looks an awful lot like DANIEL SHARMAN. HE is TWENTY SIX and while they're DEPENDABLE, they have a tendency to get pretty AWKWARD. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to HERE by ALESSIA CARA. 

brandon is the boy next door

he’s totally lovable and absolutely oblivious

he has no idea how cute he is

he’s just a big lanky dude that’s awkward af

he works as an emt so there’s that

boxes in his free time

never really had a serious relationship bc he doesn’t think girls are interested in him??

CAMPBELL STERLING looks an awful lot like ROSS BUTLER. HE is TWENTY THREE and while they're EXCITABLE, they have a tendency to get pretty IMMATURE. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to DIRTY LITTLE SECRET by ALL AMERICAN REJECTS.

so, cam is the complete opposite of brandon

he’s your average college frat boy

has no idea what he’s doing with his life

barely knows how to take care of himself

seriously he’s so helpless and immature he probably doesn’t even know how to make chicken nuggets lmao

currently in an off and on relationship

scared to death of commitment

FOX SULLIVAN looks an awful lot like DYLAN MINNETTE. HE is TWENTY FOUR and while they're IMAGINATIVE, they have a tendency to get pretty ABSENT-MINDED. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to DROPS OF JUPITER by TRAIN.

fox is the nerd that you wouldn’t think is a nerd

he’s jake sullivan’s older brother

super protective of him

named after fox mulder

super obsessed with space and aliens and stuff

works at a planetarium

will fight u with no questions asked just tempt him

HYATT MARSHALL looks an awful lot like FROY GUTIERREZ. HE is NINETEEN and while they’re SCRUPULOUS, they have a tendency to get pretty DISTANT. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to DON’T TAKE THE MONEY by BLEACHERS.

my lil photographer bean

never seen without a camera

always looking for people to model for him

currently working as an event photographer

sometimes does side jobs

very attentive to detail

will notice that thing that ur chara didn’t know they did until he pointed it out

v skeptical of getting close to people

JC FORRESTER looks an awful lot like COLE SPROUSE. HE is TWENTY THREE and while they're LOYAL, they have a tendency to get pretty TEMPERAMENTAL. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to DON’T LET ME GET ME by JAMES GILLESPIE.

tw mental illness, tw drug use !!

jc isn’t too keen on telling people what his initials stand for

he doesn’t think his name fits him, so if he doesn’t tell anyone, no one will call him that

his dad is a professional chef and tv personality ( think gordon ramsey ) and his mom is the head of a charity organization that helps foster children.

had pretty much everything he wanted growing up, but his parents were v critical of him and that made him feel v pressured with everything he did

this caused him to develop serious anxiety and self esteem issues and then he started to struggle with grades in high school, which caused even more tension and pressure

started smoking weed and hanging out with the wrong crowd

jc got mixed up in some kind of misunderstanding nd didn’t wanna rat out his friends, so he took the fall for stealing a car and went to juvie for 2 years

after juvie he didn’t want to go back to high school and be behind or whatever so he just went on w life, couch surfed for a bit

has a kind heart but it’s hidden under his dark personality

KIMBERLEIGH PAXTON looks an awful lot like LUCA HOLLESTELLE. SHE is TWENTY ONE and while they're FREE-SPIRITED, they have a tendency to get pretty OVER-TRUSTING. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to BUDAPEST by GEORGE EZRA.

kimber is my only lady so far

she’s a lil flower child

very free spirited and loving

basically a hippie

gay asf

definitely over trusting and a bit naive at times

wants to be friends with everything

always down for an adventure

[survivorpanem]

EPISODE TEN - “I’M THE JAIDEN WHISPERER “ - JC

Tribal council certainly was interesting tonight. I wonder what caused Samantha to use her onion necklace on me... I'm actually kind of pissed off that she did that, even though I had voted for her in the first place. It makes me think that that knew I had voted for her or something, which is what caused the vote to flip around. Isaac and Jordan and Andrew all really fucked up and Jordan paid the price for it. I kind of wish that someone had played their idol for Jordan just to see their reaction when Andrew ends up getting the boot, so now I'm pretty sure one of them have it. Jake missed out on a ton of stuff which wouldn't have been vastly different if he had stuck around instead of going off to exile. From now on, I won't stray from the alliance. It's pretty obvious that they all were going to wake-up and start playing only when it became convenient to them all, and that's why Jordan got voted off. They were going to use my vote for Zack against me in the future to help Zack flip against me or something? Power move, good job losers. I'm going to completely own up to voting for Sam B as soon as possible. I have no doubt that she got the same advantage that I had and checked to see if I was intending on flipping on the alliance. But wouldn't that have sent me out instead of Jordan??? Who honestly knows. It changes a lot in the game now and I'm pretty pissed off that this all went downhill as quickly as it did, because now I need to make a massive apology to Samantha for voting for her. I don't know what I'll say, but I'll need to think of something. And quick.

OK SO BITCH SO!! That tribal was i n s a n e! Zack approached me at like 9:40 telling me that my weird suspicions were right and that people were trying to make a move to take me out. Apparently Isucc/Boredan/AndrEW approached Sam Bussy asking her to vote me out. Now what worries me is that she did not tell me about them approaching her, Zack did. So she must have been at least considering it? Idk her and Isaac are relatively close and ik she was worried about whether or not Isaac would be mad at her if she voted Jordan instead of me. But anyways I'm like oh boo not today, not today! Like I was really unworried by their bumasses because I'm like girls, I have an idol, a vote negator, AND Sam told me about her blood bracelet that had to be played at that tribal, so I was just like might as well just get her to play that on me so I don't need to use anything. So like I got Sam to switch her blood thing from Jaiden to me after she used a vote sneak in order to see who Isaac really voted for and turned out he truly did vote for me! How cute. Like I don't know why these little boys came for me but they did, like I was not a threat I feel like my game has been shit but ok I guess just keep pushing me to be better huh?! Oh, and apparently Jaiden voted for Samantha to try to stir up distrust between Zack and I and cause rifts in the alliance. But then later he switched it to Andrew because he was getting nervous I guess? Idk I don't buy it but knowing Jaiden it's highly possible. But I'm like atm I want to take out Isaac/Andrew before taking out Jaiden because they both actually voted me with intents of getting me out and for that they need to go, especially as Isaac probably has an idol. Like I feel like he was gonna play it on Jordan but changed his mind last minute after Sam played her bracelet on me. and like now I'm worried because it's only f8 and I have a target on my back. Totally not what I wanted at this stage in the game! I have to really work hard to keep myself safe because my advantages don't make me invincible. I need to make FTC in this game and it's most likely going to be a f2 since jury started at f11 rifpp. I hate f2's! But yeah I just have to keep fighting and look at the bright sides, like I solidified loyalty and cleansed paranoia between my relationships with Sam and Zack, I still have an idol and I'm still fighting. My game plan honestly is to go to my sponsors and get them to buy vote sneaks for me because that would be heavily beneficial to see who's voting who.

Samantha is on my birthday shitlist, basically. I still don't trust her so I spilled the beans to JC about her maybe sorta considering voting for Zack. Also that she played the onion necklace on me. Regardless, someone knows that I voted for her. And now I'm out for blood! I will absolutely expose her vote at the next tribal council, AND I'll make I think my priority to send her right to the bottom of the alliance like she deserves at this point. Samantha if you're reading this and you're like, you're completely wrong Jaiden, then that's your fault for playing the onion necklace on me (envy) But I still love you outside of this whole game...but I still hope you get seventh place. Sorry not sorry. I'm going to CONTINUE to hammer in the idea that FLIPPERS NEVER WIN. If you flip on the alliance, enjoy losing solely because of a bitter jury :)

Me trying to escape the SNAKES who voted me last week and may try to again http://suprchnk.tumblr.com/post/152885516750

Later...

Omg poor Sam she's coming up with all these cracked out theories of where the idol could be that are actually kind of wildly accurate (she thought the idol may be hidden in the beach bc of the moodboard Amir made her having many sea themes, and it was in the beach), but the idol is in my pocket akxhxbabz. Maybe I should tell her...idk aaaa!!!

so to #catch up on my messy ass game, i was exiled for a round and apparently things got even more messy. i honestly barely understand what happened bc no one wants to give me a full story but yeah jordan lelft which was my contract thing?? no idol clue for me rip. but now i guess a lot of people want my vote which is nice. zack told me that jaiden was telling people that i was threatening bc of my comp wins in generations, neverland, and sarawak and its so annoying!! like bitch u think i have time in my life to dedicate to these immunity challenges like i could in gens when i had 24/7 of my summer dedicated to it?? bitch?? and u went against me ONCE in sarawak and look how that turned out. haha they never learn, do they? there's already talk about getting jaiden out and i'd be MORE than delighted to send his ass packing bc i literally cannot DEAL with him targeting me for no reason A G A I N!!!!! jaiden: jake won immunities in gens everyone: omg :O hes laying low… me: i literally just have no time to dedicate to this game god these fucking freaks. anyway i cant stand most of these ppl.. andrew is honestly my son and i love him so i dont want him to go. and it was nice to hear zack wants isaac and jaiden out back to back bc that protects lil andrew. i dont even talk to andrew like ever but for some reason hes the only one i trust bc ik he only has like isaac in the game. i dont trust either of the sams. especially sam g?? that girl is like killin it i feel like everyone is just following her around. have barely spoken to her but shes doing her thing. i hope i can get her out soon but literally no one wants to make a move against her. props to her i guess. i want JC gone soon, he's so transparent and fake and ldskjfghkj yeah i don't like dealing with it. i mean i'm fake right back so i mean dflksgjhdklfjgh me. unless i get lucky with immunities im gonna have to rely on keeping a low profile and telling people im doing nothing (which is partly true, i did do THAT at the allison vote). a lot of people are telling me they like me so... that's good! the more ppl who like me the better!!! i like zack a lot i hope the f3 is me zack and andrew but one can dream huh!

Soo last tribal was WILD! I was gunna just play my bracelet on Jaiden and say it was because he's always a target so to put his mind at ease for once blah blah blah but then like 15 minutes before tribal JC comes to me freaking out about people voting for him and he needs the bracelet blah blah blah, so I asked Isaac who he voted for and he told me Jordan. Then just to make sure I played my map of the arena and checked out Isaacs vote and found out THAT LYING SNAKE VOTED FOR JC!! So I played my bracelet on JC even though they only got 3 votes, Jordan got 4, and Andrew got 1. Also apparently that 1 for Andrew WAS for Sam B but then Sam looked at Jaidens vote and played her onion necklace on him meaning he can't vote for her until the final 6? Or after the final 6? Either way I was really expecting this to cause distrust in our 5 but apparently it still hasn't? I'm so shook that we're all still voting together but like maybe I'll be proven wrong tonight? We'll see. Either way we're al so dysfunctional and terrible at communication so I mean how are we doing this?? I was hoping to save Andrew and Isaac but apparently people want Andrew out. Hopefully he has an idol but he'd idol out Jaiden and not Sam B which kind of stinks. But anyways I'm waiting for more exciting stuff to happen this tribal because last time was the first exciting tribal in a while. This merge has been pretty yawn and frankly I'm part of the problem.

I wasn't going to talk about it but I need to post a confessional and the reason I'm feeling the way I am is tied into personal stuff and it won't make sense unless I explain it to you so here it goes. I've just been feeling extremely shitty about myself recently and just overall really lonely. Like in the past two weeks I've felt like my friends have been doing whatever they can not to talk to me. It's irrational but it's how I've felt. But Jordan and Samantha B were mostly there and they helped everything by just being there and talking to me. So yeah I've taken his elimination pretty hard. According to many sources Samantha B was the one who told Jc that it was them who was getting votes and caused Jordan's elimination and the idol play. I was really apprehensive about believing anyone because I thought there was no way she'd do that to me like we've became closer friends since this game started, but then she admitted to it. I'm not going to lie I'm hurt But this is a game and we're supposed to play to win so thank you Sam B for waking me up. I'm NOT going to lay down and die if I go out tonight I'll go out trying to get as far as I can. Is this the second coming of Despairsaac? Maybe. But Jesus Christ I'm tired of these people telling me what I will and will not do. Fuck them. 

I've made it so far in the game without wanting to make any big moves, so tonight I'll make one. If I get rocked out, then #legend. If I get blindsided by the entire tribe, then so be it. But I had to stand up and do something, because fifth place just wasn't going to cut it. I wanna win, damnit. People can respect someone who went against the grain and made a move, right? I surely will receive Andrew and Isaac's respect if this doesn't work out. The plan is to vote for Sam G. If she plays an idol, Andrew goes home and I look like a chump. If anyone gets pissed, they will either flip their vote to her, or they will draw rocks and leave it up to chance. Either way, I get what I want. I'll be okay with leaving tonight if that's what happens, because at least I did something... I just dont want to go 7-1 because everyone was pissed off.

Okay so truthfully this game I've felt like I'm the Jaiden Whisperer. He's like completely wild and messy in this game but I feel like I've been able to direct it to things I want, or at least work with the insanity. But it's coming to the point where he's really rubbing people the wrong way, Zack and Jakey both want to vote him and Sam Bussy probably would too if she hadn't played the onion on him. Not only that but Isaac and Andrew both wanna vote him too!! That's 4 which is enough to tie, and jaidens dumb ass might vote for Jakey instead of Isaac!! Mess omg. I totally feel bad to be campaigning for Isaac/Andrew to go, but like what choice do I have after they came for me first? I feel like it'd be dumb to vote out either jakey or Jaiden because they're both good for my game and the others are most probably not! OMFG NOW JAIDENS TALKING TO JAKE ABOUT GOING TO ROCKS WHAT IN THE FUCK OMFGGGGG KILL ME. He needs to freaking rest before his ass gets sent home!! This vote is honestly the largest fucking mess, we have Jaiden who wants to vote out Jakey, Jakey who wants to vote out Jaiden, Zack who wants to vote out Isaac only if not Jaiden, Samantha who I think wants to vote out Isaac or Andrew and Sam G who wants to vote out Samantha later but Jakey now. KILL ME WHY CANT WE JUST VOTE ONE OF ISAAC/ANDREW OUT HNNNNG I TOLD JAIDEN TO JUST STAY SEATED AND TO NOT CAUSE DRAMA WHEN HE ASKED ME IF HE SHOULD MESSAGE PEOPLE BECAUSE I KNEW EVERYONE WAS ON THEIR LAST STRAWS WITH HIM AND WHAT DOES HE DO??? DOESNT LISTEN AT ALL!! OMG I CANT HONESLEE Like bitCH WHY DID JAKEY SEND ME THIS: [12/7/16, 7:32:21 PM] j a i d e n: but I don't think I can win against my alliance and I know they're coming for you once it gets down to it [12/7/16, 7:32:40 PM] j a i d e n: you, me, Isaac, Andrew vote for one of them, and they vote for one of Andrew/Isaac FUCK IT HES LEAVING TONIGHT EVERYONE WANTS HIS HEAD ON A STICK EXCEPT PROBABLY SAM B AND FHATS JUST BECAUSE SHE PLAYED HER ONION ON HIM UGHHH I LOVE YOU JAIDEN BUT WHAT CAN I DO YOU PUSHED IT

I feel soooo bad about lying to Isaac. I really want to work with him and get Jaiden out but there just aren't numbers for that. Me, Isaac, Andrew, and Jakey is only 4. All that would do is tie it. But Jaiden has been super messy lately, especially with jakey, so hopefully Jc will read the message jakey sends him from jaiden and will realize that jaiden is a horrible player. Like honestly I love jaiden as a person but he is messy af when it comes to spilling information. And not even information, its anything. Jaiden tells so many lies, for no reason it seems like. This is just super messy. As much as I love jc and zack, I think I want to work with Isaac and Andrew from now on. But I just hope they trust me enough to let me do that.

So way too much has happened/is happening for like a paragraph based confessional, so here's a lot of bullets of whats happened bc I'm an organized hoe. -Zack wins immunity and Isaac and I are like fuck what do we do -It seemingly looks like Isaac, Sam B, and I are on the outs -We find out that it's between Isaac and I -Sam G tells me that Sam B is the one who leaked to JC that they were going so that Sam G could play her idol on them and get out Jordan -Isaac doesn't wanna believe it but Sam B sketches me out -The 3 of us still decide anyway that we need 5 votes to take out Jaiden bc that's the easiest target -Zack and I have gotten surprisingly close and he doesn't want me going -Zack wants Jaiden out -I go to Jakey and ask about getting out Jaiden and he's down -I go to bed and we seemingly have 5 votes to eliminate Jaiden -I come home today to find I'm the name being thrown around and Jaiden is the one to tell me -Sam B is being very sketchy in the alliance chat -She then admits to Isaac that she told JC they were getting votes and apologized but has ultimately lost our trust -We now don't know what the vote is going to be and scramble -Jaiden comes to Isaac and I saying he will go to rocks for me if we can get Jakey on our side -He makes a chat and the 4 of us agree to vote either Sam G or JC bc Jaiden cannot vote Sam B -We decide on Sam G so that someone may be more willing to flip on her rather than JC in a tie vote -Sam G and JC suddenly wanna work with Isaac and I again and want to vote out Jaiden who wants to help Isaac and I also -Jaiden might be doing the rocks plan more for himself/to make chaos -Jakey also makes the point that Isaac, himself, and I will be in minority next week if we vote out Jaiden -I ask him if he thinks Zack would flip to us and he doesn't think so and asks if I would sacrifice Isaac next round -I don't wanna do that and ask if Zack might flip on Sam G and JC to break up the duo at final 7 So now I'm at a conflict. Jaiden wants to go to rocks for us. But that might be to create chaos. Idk where Sam B is voting but she might be voting me but now people wanna vote Jaiden. So if it does tie and we vote with Jaiden, then it could tie between Jaiden and Sam G and then they're safe from rocks of I flip on Jaiden. So Jaiden might be doing this to save his own ass because according to Sam G, Jaiden thinks I'm voting him anyway. So I have no fucking clue what to do. We all helped build a web of lies and now everyone is running up a different thread. And it's utter chaos. And I need to make the move that I think will help me advance to the end after this if I stay tonight.

Later...

Okay I also left out that Jake revealed the rock plan to Sam G and JC, so now Sam G knows she might be getting votes and Jaiden might play his thing on me to reveal my vote before he votes and if he sees I didn't vote Sam G, then he'll be suspicious. And he might have an idol so idk. I think I'll vote Sam G anyway in the case that either Jaiden sees how I votes and pulls some sketchy shit, or the rock plan actually goes down. I asked Sam G if she cares if I vote her so Jaiden isn't sus but she doesn't wanna be potentially idoled out. I'm gonna tell her I'm throwing to Sam B, but I'll vote her anyway. I just have to to be safe. Wish me luck™.

im voting for jaiden since hes a mess and my alliance wants him gone. I'll explain more in my next confessional. im gonna take a nap