Actually I don't remember if I ever beat Dark Alliance or not. I know I didn't playing on my own, and definitely not with my sister. I got at least as far as the displacer beasts, but no idea if that was solo, with my sister, or both. But my dad and my sister got to the final boss once, and I know I took a stab at it when they were having trouble, but I don't remember who ended up beating them. In fact, all I actually remember of it is that we used that save file to start the next game with the endgame sword…
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well the good news is that today i instigated a necessary conflict, walked into it w my chin up and then got to learn that i've healed enough that i no longer dissociate instantly when a voice is raised at me and can remain not only coherent, but rational and well-spoken and verbally calm. the bad news is we solved nothing, but at least my roommates are now aware that there's a very strong likelihood they're gonna be stuck paying the rent on this place for the full term of our original lease.
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god early dave and terezi convos kill me on rereads bc like. if u look closely theres a couple moments where dave clearly Does Not Want to talk to terezi?? bc hes freaking out about his bro or his planet or his whole fucking life and shes super insensitive about it in a lot of ways!! shes incredibly morbid and she pushes him to talk about things he doesnt want to acknowledge; the first convo they have at all and the convo they have when bro dies being the strongest examples of these. but she keeps poking and prodding and eventually she makes him laugh and runs w it :,) which is really nice and one of my favorite dynamics for a while but ugh...... just rough looking back and seeing all the ways dave has been hiding his home life and how he really feels about it for so long :,(
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i think i should get paid for waking up every day with the worst chest pain ever and having to deal with a family that just goes "but you don't have to go outside anymore!! you don't have to go anywhere!! you're fine!!" and when i say that i'm tired of taking my meds bc even though they help me they also remind me that there's something wrong with me my family goes "oh maybe you should stop taking all your meds then :)" like THAT'S NOT THE POINT.
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sometimes i try to go to bed n i just Know. my body will not be letting me sleep tonight
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