#bc theres a lot going on. theres So Much Input

[actualbird]

whenn will i return home (posting fics in the tot ao3 tag again) from the war (immense constant exhaustion due to job) ;-;

[irishbreakfst]

Saw 4 SEPARATE SPECIES OF BUG IN MY STUPID APARTMENT TODAY (none of them were bed bugs at least but they were some of the other bug species I loathe and fear the most) I know the fact that its really hot is probably the main reason they're being so active and getting in here, but God damn I'm already crawling through zillow to find my next apartment and I've still got 11 months in this lease. If I ever see a cave cricket in this house with my own two eyes I'm breaking the fuckin lease tho I can promise you that

[tsxkkis]

omg omg can i request? pls ignore if you dont!

s3 of haikyuu will always be my favourite season, maybe due to the fact that tsukishima realizes his potential in playing volleyball? (him having his MOMENT is my favouriteee scene)

so could you write gf manager reader x tsukki, where reader witnesses him having his first moment (blocking ushijima's spike), injuring his hand etc etc up until they receive their throphy and medals in the end ?🥹🥹💕 shes a proudddd reader and literally just smooch smooch hug hug tsukki because hes the mvp of karasuno x shiratorizawa 🥰😤

i realized that theres nobody includes this scene in their fics and i wonder why? 🤔🧐

# tsukishima kei - mvp

a/n: i am terribly sorry anon bcs this took so long T-T i'm not quite sure about some parts of this fic but overall i really enjoyed writing this request!! tsukishima is my fav for many reasons, one of which being the fact that i see myself in him a lot, and the particular moment during the shiratorizawa vs karasuno match is also my fav from the entire series!! i hope u enjoy reading this fic^^ i feel like it's not exactly what you asked for, so i'm sorry if i went too far away from your idea....

summary: tsukishima finally regains his love for volleyball.

warnings: a few swear words here and there, the fic doesn't exactly portray what happened in the series (i switched it up a bit)

'are you stressed?'

'not even a bit.'

'you're lying. i can read you like a book.'

tsukishima kei let out a deep breath, rolling his eyes as he looked away from your face. you were obviously right; there was no way he wouldn't be stressed before the game that determined whether or not karasuno would go to nationals. as much as he hated to admit it, he was almost as stressed as others. he was just better at controlling which of his emotions are shown.

you squeezed his hand, his fingers instinctively intertwining with yours. all it took was a reassuring smile from you to help with his nerves, his muscles finally relaxing after being tensed up for the last twenty minutes or so. he still tried to get used to you being more than a friend. your relationship was quite awkward and fresh, so much so in fact that you never even had your first kiss yet.

'i'm sure you'll do great.' you stated calmly, trying to hide the fact that you were even more stressed about the match than him. 'in fact, i'm positive that you'll win.'

'even if we do, it won't be because of me.' he mumbled, letting out a silent laugh when he saw the angry look on your face. 'oh, come on. it's not like i'm the greatest player this team has.'

'you know i hate it when you talk down on yourself.' you said, the tone serious and sharp, rather unusual for you. it stayed like that for only a short while, taken over by a softer, understanding one. 'you're a vital part of this team, tsukishima. winning this match is not up to a single person. it's a team effort. your input is as important as that of kageyama or hinata.'

he opened his mouth to say something but was instantly stopped by the voice of his captain, daichi, calling the team up to quickly warm up as the match was about to start.

you smiled at the boy, letting go of his hand before lightly patting him on the back.

'do your best for me, alright?'

'i will.' a barely noticeable smile appeared on his face, his hand affectionately ruffling your hair. 'don't worry too much about it.'

you finally realized why tsukishima kei never tried more. why he would never stay longer like other karasuno players to polish his skills, why he didn't truly seem to love the sport he chose to play in high school.

'you're insufferable, you know?' his words sent shivers down your spine. 'why don't you leave it the fuck alone?'

opposite forces, some might say. no one really knew what drew you and tsukishima to eachother - both of you completely different from one another, and yet oh so similar at the same time. frustration took over you every time you looked at him, and now you knew why.

he was like a mirror in which you could see all your flaws, and it irritated you a great deal.

his outlook on life and the way he viewed himself made you furious. how can someone be so full of contradictions? so cocky and confident, and yet so vulnerable and self depreciating at the same time. so full of himself and yet so hateful towards the person he saw in the reflection of every window, every mirror.

how can someone so great at what they do, so intelligent and talented, be so critical?

'because i can't! i can't leave it alone, you absolute moron.' the thought of how loud you were didn't stop you from continuing to shout, a mixed look on your face that tsukishima couldn't quite decipher. were you angry or sad? and why the hell would it bug you so much to evoke such strong emotions within you?

'you're saying i'm insufferable? from the moment i laid my eyes on you, you've been nothing but insufferable. so much so, that i want to gouge them out every time they spot you.' you ignored your watery eyes and tsukishima's surprised face, almost as if he didn't expect you to blow up like this. 'it pains me to see you be so full of doubt and hatred and i- i can't understand why you would think so lowly of yourself, why you feel inferior to the other guys in every way possible, when you could be so much more than them. do you even realize your potential, tsukishima?'

he stayed silent. for the first time since knowing you, tsukishima kei did not have an answer to your words.

'your doubts are so irrational i don't know if it makes me angry or sad. you're truly incredible on the court. you're intelligent, you can read the opponents well, you have the physical predispositions for volleyball and a natural talent that you choose to ignore because-'

'but what is talent without passion?'

that singular sentence managed to catch you off guard so much you had no idea how to answer him. such a simple question, and yet such a philosophical, confusing one.

'why should i put my all into something i'm not even passionate about, huh?' tsukishima tried to keep his composed nature, but it was hard to stay intact after what you've said. as much as he did not want to admit it, your words hit him deeply. 'why waste my time and energy for something that does not give me any satisfaction at all? tell me that, because i have no fucking idea.'

'passion is not something that dissapears once and never shows up again, you idiot.' you took a step closer, as if that was going to help you get your point across. 'if your passion is genuine, it will always be there. whether small or big, it will always crawl around in the back of your mind. if you ever truly loved volleyball, the moment where you fall in love with it again will come sooner or later.'

your words were met with complete silence, but you didn't mind. tsukishima slowly processed your words, a focused look gracing his face, lips in a tight line. even though it was only a couple of minutes, for you it felt like hours - awaiting an answer, any answer at all.

tsukishima moved closer, his tall frame hovering over you as he wrapped his arms around you, catching you in a tight hug, much to your surprise.

'thank you.' he mumbled quietly, glad that in this very moment you couldn't see his face, and the stupid smile plastered to it.

the moment where you fall in love with it again will come sooner or later.

tsukishima's mind lingered over these words whenever he played, awaiting this moment to come almost eagerly. the match was particularly hard - with ushijima wakatoshi as their opponent, the chances of winning were incredibly slim. every spike of his went through the block, his serves were absolutely killer, and his teammates did everything to deliver the ball to him at all costs.

what a hassle.

you noticed that his demeanor on the court changed from what it used to be. tsukishima seemed more invested now - almost as if he was trying to impress you, to keep his word. as happy as it made you, you were still anxious about the match and it's final score, hand shaky and a bit sweaty as your eyes followed the ball flying around from one side of the net to another.

another spike from ushijima, it'll probably be another point for shiratoriza-

and that's when you realized.

you saw the ball hit the ground on shiratorizawa's side of the net surprised gasps from everyone watching the match. you saw the shocked look on ushijima's face, the horror in the eyes of his teammates as the ball bounced off of the floor for the second, third, fourth time.

silence took over the court for just a mere second, quickly interrupted by tsukishima's triumphant scream.

he looked more than content with his performance. he looked... happy.

the rest of the boys joined him, screaming in unison. it was just one point, right? but for some reason, for both you and tsukishima, this one was worth a thousand.

for the first time in years, tsukishima kei felt that his spark for volleyball came back.

you noticed that his eyes were now focused on you, a full, cheeky smile gracing his face, and it only made you tear up. a short moment, probably insignificant for people around, but for the two of you it was like a breath of fresh air, like getting rid of the shackles that once held you in place, enabling you from moving forward.

'y/n, are you... alright?' coach ukai looked with his brows slightly furrowed, confused by your teary eyes and big grin plastered to your face.

'yeah, yeah, i'm fine. sorry, coach.' you mumbled, bowing a little as your eyes focused on the court. 'actually, could kiyoko replace me here for the rest of the match? i'm not quite feeling well.'

'tsukishima is injured.'

'what?' akiteru spoke in unison with you, terrified voices mixing together as you looked down from the stands to see the boy walking off of the court and rushing to the medical office along with kiyoko. your instincts took over you - feet moving on their own as you quickly ran towards the same place.

the two blondes followed right behind you, stopping only when in front of the door to the medical office, gasping for air after such a short run. as athletic as your boyfriend was, you were quite the opposite; getting tired after a little to no physical activity at times.

tsukishima saw your head peeking through the doorframe, a small smile on his face the moment he laid eyes on you.before you opened your mouth to say something, he already gave you an answer.

'yes, i feel fine.' he stated quietly, sitting down on the edge of a chair. 'you don't need to worry.'

'are you going back on court?' he only gave you a small nod in response, seemingly feeling better already as he stood up, his hand taped up.

you looked up at him, taking in the expression on his face, just how focused he already was. he looked almost as if he already had a plan to defeat shiratorizawa in this match. seeing him so eager to go back and play almost made you laugh a little - you swore you never saw him get this invested into something ever.

'go and win then.' you mumbled, patting him on the shoulder as he headed towards the gym hall.

'oh don't worry. we will.'

you couldn't stop the tears rolling down your cheeks as you saw karasuno emerge victorious from the hardest volleyball match they had to play this year, hugging yachi tightly as both of you celebrated the win of your team.

the triumphant screams filled the gym hall, the team emotional after doing what many deemed impossible. as most of them enjoyed themselves, not planning on leaving the euphoric state for a long while, tsukishima could only think of doing one thing - going to you.

you were the only person he truly wanted to celebrate with.

after the ceremony of getting the medals, to everyone's utmost shock, considering your relationship wasn't exactly public, tsukishima went up to you almost immediately, a cocky smile on his face as he ruffled your hair, looking down at you from behind his glasses.

'you didn't exactly look quite as content with your performance before getting the prize.' you mumbled, looking at the blonde haired boy with your head tilted to the side.

'well, i could've blocked more of ushijima's spikes.' he started, rolling his eyes at the sole idea of not being able to do that during today's match. 'i only managed to block one and-'

you decided to use the only method that was for sure going to shut him up in that moment, lightly grabbing him by the tshirt and pulling him closer, lips clashing for a split second in a short, sweet kiss.

'no talking down on yourself today, kei.' you said, unconsciously smiling as you saw his face getting red at what you just did, cheeks covered by a tomato-like red colour. 'i'm proud of you no matter what you think about today's match.'

he stood still for a few seconds, as if processing what had just happened seconds ago, the redness on his face deepening with each passing moment. his hand was quick to grab yours, almost dragging you away from the team and to a more private, less occupied area of the building.

'do that again.' he mumbled, after he finally led you to a quiet hallway.

'huh?'

'it was... nice.'

your eyes lit up, a cheeky smile gracing your face as you finally realized what he was on about.

'ohh, you want another kiss?' you said teasingly, eyes quickly glancing from his face down to his lips. he rolled his eyes, unamused by your act of playing dumb.

'come on, don't make me repeat myself.' still somewhat embarrassed of what he was asking for, tsukishima stood in one place, awaiting your next action.

a sigh left your lips as you took a step towards your boyfriend, standing on your tippy toes to be able to reach his face.

'alright. i guess you deserve it, match mvp.'

your arms were wrapped around his neck in no time as your lips gently touched his, tsukishima immediately kissing you back, hands positioned on your waist as you felt a smile creeping up on his face. he let out a short laugh, seeing your face being just as red as his was moments ago, hand reaching to squeeze yours.

'what?' you mumbled, as he hasn't spoken a word since breaking the kiss.

'that's surely the best prize i got today.'

taglist: @moonswolfie @wyrcan @kitsune-kita

[lesb0]

miss terra what is museum curating like? i recently felt very strongly like it would be something im good at but im worried about overthrowing my whole life plan for one very specific career (i am currently studying physics, have always enjoyed reading and writing and painting and visiting museums but never thought i would want to pursue an art career). mostly the detail oriented part appeals to me and i think selecting and arranging the pieces and writing their descriptions is something i would be good at but im wondering if i have a romanticised view of the job bc it also seems to be an administrative and supervisor position? also how much freedom would i get in choosing the subjects of exhibitions like would i have to do exhibitons about art that i viscerally HATE (im really picky) thank you in advance<3

Its hard work! you need professional degrees in art history + museology to touch anything over 50 years old. A lot of it is social engineering/institution politics, you have to navigate the hierarchy with perfect subordination. day to day is managing a lot of pretentious neurotic peoples impossible egos all fighting for top billing on a project. you don't control anything, the board of directors does. at my level, you'll learn to feed leaderships' giant egos and get the job finished without breaking into wwiii.

As for exhibitions, your director will loan and order the artists she wants to work with for a show and you might be called over for input but she really just wants you to say how genius the project is and how excited you are lol! your lead curator and coordinator/s will make terrible creative choices, your job is to best serve their vision exactly as they imagined it. half your job is just sitting still in your little shared office cubicle back of house and waiting for the higher ups to see your mockups so they can say, "good job!"

in this post Fred Wilson era, a lot of museum work is just mitigating potential backlash, assuming everything from a collection has already pissed somebody off. that being said, I've learned through work experience that I prefer museum education, publicity, and registrar roles to curatorial. but in museums, your real job never stops at the description. everyone does everything. interns do conservation and greetings. janitorial directs floor traffic to find lost kids. directors scrub paint spots off the floor and do the rag laundry. wages for full time serious mid career positions start at $12 /hr. seriously.

and not to deter you at all from a museum career! to ME, this is all absolutely worth it!! the passion, pride, and reward of opening reception is something you can't price. watching everyone engage deeply with my project is enough. theres no other job I would rather have :-)

of course, its also totally possible to go the uneducated independent route, if you can do it part time as a hobby, sticking to smaller contemporary galleries, posting on insta frequently, and writing for local artists, often pro bono, etc.

[enginator2000]

worst popular infinite headcanon?

oh my. this one got long so im going to spare peoples dashes by putting this under a cut haha

anyways my answer is: making him out to be a little crybaby who is driven purely by revenge and sadness to make the world pay for shadow killing his squad mates, whom he loved in a normal way and saw them as family or whatever. it makes his character so goddamn flat and boring bc thats such a standard villain motivation, and it entirely strips away a lot of his personality even when theres already so little to work with LMAO

i know ive spoken about it at length in the dog&hog server but to me, infinites most notable trait is that hes selfish

in the prequel comic rise of infinite (yay, prequel comic talk. everyones favourite, i know) he deliberately ignores any protests from his gang against accepting eggmans deal of working with him, because eggy singles him out and offers him a place at his side to bring his fantasy of ruin into reality. not infinite and his crew, just infinite

(image has two comic panels. in the first one, eggman is reaching a hand out to infinite as he says "now you are an interesting guy. i like you. how about i hire you to lead my forces? together we'll take over the world!" in the second panel, one of the jackal squad members says "boss! dont be tempted by him. we'll be fine!")

and infinite says yes after briefly talking about how he personally feels bored and tired of how the world is right now

(image has two panels. in the first, infinite is mumbling to himself, first laughing and then saying "interesting. all this time ive been going through the motions. ive actually grown quite tired of the world as it is." in the second panel he stands and says "lets do it doctor! i'll help you change this world!")

again, its a decision based off an entirely personal and individualistic opinion that only takes his own feelings into account. you would think that if he valued his squad to the extent that they were "like family" to him, he would have listened when they said he shouldnt make a deal with eggman. if he actually cared about them as much as he cared about himself, he would have trusted them enough to say no. instead he only thinks about what he wants and what he can get, not about what will happen to the others

ive always been of the opinion that infinite used his squad and position of authority as their leader to prop himself up and viewed them more like underlings or subjects that he could order around and be superior to, rather than equals whose opinions and input he valued. maybe he started out having more camaraderie with the other jackals, but it certainly doesnt show by the time we get to the events of the prequel comic, and even less so when we get to episode shadow/the main game

the idea that he saw his squad more like tools to make himself look better than people also makes more sense because when in episode shadow, eggman calls infinites squad "useless" directly to him and all infinite says is "yeah, yeah" in a very uncaring fashion. even when he then spots shadow and says "you.. you destroyed my squad!" its entirely unconvincing to me that he said it out of sorrow or sadness; to me it was more like simple anger that it happened. because now without his little group of followers that looked up to him and did whatever he told them to, he had nobody to feel superior to. he couldnt go on any more power trips by being The Boss bc there was nobody left to indulge him, no one to stoke his ego, nobody to be the boss of. so thats why he felt slighted by shadow in the first place; how dare this hedgehog take away what made him feel special and important. and then of course the ensuing humiliation that came afterward was just the icing on the shit cake haha

it also explains why infinite never brings up his squad in any of his monologues (besides the prequel comics and episode shadow being obvious afterthoughts to the main game loool); he just doesnt care. if anything, their loss was his gain bc it pushed him towards acquiring the phantom ruby and getting to go on the ultimate power trip of world domination and near total subjugation of the population. i think that also ties into his mindset that friends make you weak and you cant rely on anyone but yourself; in his case, thats literally true. if he hadnt lost his squad, if he had initially listened to them, the chain of events we know well would not have come to pass and he would not have gotten to become the powerhouse he did. he would have still been leading his monotonous life and following the same old script. from his perspective they really did hold him back, and only once they were gone was he able to become stronger. he reiterates this by thanking shadow in the dlc for doing what he did in mystic jungle (killing the jackal squad and kicking infinites ass) bc otherwise he wouldnt have gotten the incentive he needed to take on the mantle of becoming a super powered weapon

and if you want some more evidence thats admittedly a lot more of a stretch, you could also interpret infinite creating a posse of past sonic foes as him filling the void of using the jackal squad that was created after shadow had taken them down. he gets to control people again (even if theyre clones that had no choice but to obey him but nyeh i told you it was a stretch), he gets to be a leader again

idk, i just think that having a sob story as a main motivation is (funny joke here) weak. i have never once thought that infinite needs to have some kind of sympathetic or tragic backstory. and maybe thats just my own personal bias coming through bc i prefer villains that are evil for reasons like their moral philosophies or have some kind of goal that makes the audience go "maybe they do have a point tbh" and villains that are just evil for the sake of it over villains that say "my mom died" as if that is any kind of justifiable explanation. imo it almost always comes off as them making an excuse, and its lame. just own it, yknow?

so yeah if i could block one thing from the minds of infinite fans it would be the hc that infinite was tightly knit with the jackals and wanted what was best for them. bc with all the evidence ive seen, its not supported at all, and hes actually the exact opposite; he does what he wants and uses who he wants for his own purposes and gain

also yes i do think shadow straight up killed the other jackals and i do think thats in character for him but thats a conversation for another day

[dexter-erotoph]

hey i have no idea how dex works n you seem to be a huge enthusiast of their character so can u like.. yap about dexters personality a bit (/nf!!). im trying to work out their personality but im really confused on how to characterize them. so far, ive got some little bullet points. for a little headcanon or whatever ? i think they'd have huge interests that would be seen as a little odd, like, taxidermy or something. theyre like, a freak. (/pos)

also, i think itd have to do more research on with aspd since dex does have thatttt. uuuhm. oh yeah, a good note is that theyre not like. "Evil!! grah!! i kill people because im EVIL" cuz thats not them. they struggle with their emotions, morals, and needs. which i think also goes into the possibility of really bad intrusive thoughts perhaps.

like. they seem to have some of their morality intact (as they dont attack skid n pump immediately) before slowly spiraling and trying to hurt anyone they come across. dex also focuses on animals specifically because they dont believe that they dont feel emotion. they try to justify their behavior through beliefs and desperation to satisfy their persistent thoughts. they also run off the thrill of others pain. and i dont think theyre exactlyyy.. oblivious to the fact that this is a really bad problem, but more that they use being an exterminator to filter their needs into a.. "safer" (and in all honesty, an easier) way.

sorry for the whole ramble, but thats really all i can get so far with their character. also so sorry if this question is weird, but id just like a little input or ur idea of their character lol. no pressure tho ^_^

dont apologise i LOVE talking about dexter it Is really tricky to completely understand him kinda because of how all over the place all the things we have about him are . i was actually thinking earlier about how if sm got like adapted to a show like what happened with dhmis/ maybe we could see more of dexter and understand him better . i think ive talked about this before but i absolutely think theres kind of a thing where people see dexter as WAY more outwardly chaotic than he really is just bc well that’s like 95% of his screentime . how i really think he is is he Can get really easily excited and restless and with a lot of people it’ll drive them away (one of the characters i like to think has this dynamic with him is radford i dont know why i like the thought so much but i do) but he really is just like. hes a sweetheart he loves to draw and make stuff and hes just very smiley and laughs a lot . he isnt afraid to put himself out but he can also get like grumpy and snappy when hes paranoid Thats another thing. ive noticed in pelo’s doodles that sometimes hes portrayed complaining or just like with an irritated expression . i think while he Is a very happy go lucky type character it’s not difficult at all for him to get like . hostile for lack of better word? just annoyed at other people for something that could be really little or unintentional. i have no real point to this this probably will not help you much at all i apologise but the thing is i kinda think there’s No wrong way you can go with dexter in any way. he is such a good character that every aspect of him never feels tired or boring or really wrong to me

But uhh tldr kinda . maybe try to like nail it in that he’s just trying his best. for me thats a really big part of his character just the fact that despite everything that could potentially hold him back he always keeps his head up and just tries to do whatever he can and thats what the focus of his character would be if he wasn’t in a story that had his role revolve around his death. i hope this helps in Some way thank u very much for asking

[kijosakka]

and the thoughts taunt me yet again. its just becoming commonplace at this point to ramble on tumblr before i go to sleep uhhh

theres gotta be like, a liiitle bit of established characterization summed up beyond a mess of multi paragraph behemoth rambling posts in a rb chain to rehash canon properly um,,

^ general idea is of noah knowing chris and chef before TD is even conceptualized and growing up in the industry bc of it, if only ever behind the scenes and watching in < all of the posts are actually more character studies about being Wary of the Cameras than anything else but id like to look at canon if only just to try and puzzle out/outline developments and whatnot.

starting out pre-island and segueing into his little time on island (and still being majorly character study-y):

chris, with TD being a new show and all, has trouble filling out the cast, and being fussy about the specifics of his show, is willing to scrape the bottom of the barrel to find those three castmates to pad it out. hence; duncan, ezekiel, and noah

^ duncan and ezekiel both did send in audition tapes, while noah did not, (i'd imagine here something about the TD website having everyones audition tapes release once theyre eliminated as 'bonus content'. everyone, of course, except noah.) cause, you know. up until this point hes only ever been known in The Business as 'that snappy but has surprisingly good insight into the Business kid noah who accompanies mclean', but now hes being asked to join this show he wants no part in. hes perfectly willing to help out behind the scenes, wheres hes comfortable, but chris insists -- and eventually, noah gives in.

the caveat is that he goes into the show both knowing about the resort after elimination and hyperaware of the reality tv aspect. and since, in his mind, hes elimination fodder there to make sure they have a full cast roster, he delegates himself a background character and acts as such.

hes not meant to last long, so he singles out some traits and ideas and detaches his person from them. for the length of the entire show, noah knows he wont be a person. he'll be a character made up of one-liners and quips with no character motivations or involvement in any real plotlines, someone who you see how early they get eliminated and you go 'yeah, that makes sense' and then never think about again.

^ and this is very apparent from his first onscreen appearance -- it takes a good minute for the boat to go back and forth picking up contestants even if most of the spare footage is cut, and as people arrive, even if the camp is a disappointment there's a shared sense of wonder about being the people who made it onto the show they all collectively want to be on. they chat and share excited pleasantries and theres a sense of personality that is immediately apparent to their peers because of it -- except for noah. noah has his one back-and-forth with duncan and then lets himself fade into the background from there on out.

and at first, its a kind of deal where its just like 'alright. hes shy, thats alright!!", but then it continues into when theyre all sent off and distinctly off camera. you try to chat with noah, and he gives you a non-answer or a one-liner than would be great for an audience!...if anyone were watching.

the walk up the mountain for the first challenge is much of the same: no input on the speculation about the challenge, just unnerving blankness. his facial expression is unchanging, not like he was unphased by the challenge, but more like he just isnt there for it. like the plot doesnt demand his presence.

again and again the first impression they get of this guy is a weird, offputting uncanny valley sensation. he doesnt come off as a real person, he comes off as robotic and lifeless. and its weird. i'd imagine in terms of character relationships, a lot of characters would be weirded out by him and completely write him off, while some of the nicer would insist on giving him a chance to get used to everything.

the second challenge comes -- he has his whole fake-faceplant thing that hints at something more, but again. hes a collection of ideas, and one of those ideas could just be potential, overridden by his apathy and laziness; two other key ideas.

noah doesnt touch any of the food provided during that second-first-half bit, just stands blankly off to the side like hes being used for background filler. of course he doesnt, the cameras are right there. (does no one else understand that?)

^ [*]awakeathon comes and goes; noah falls asleep, and that's.... it. no scheme, no strategy, he just separates himself physically from the cast by a few feet, and gets cozy to sleep. and then he wakes up. no insight into the character like with, say, courtney or justin. no plotting like heather. just banal averageness. a play to be overlooked.

and what was he to do? there were no real opportunities for any of his 'collection of ideas' to slot in, so he fades into the background and lets everyone else take up the screentime.

[*there is, i imagine, a kind of alternate version of events where the kiss with cody does happen and can be used as further/a more clear incentive for the events of dodgebrawl to happen.

the reason ive cut it here is because just in the context of noah sticking so hard to his hyperawareness, i would imagine he would know of and preemptively try and take measures against any Sleep Shenanigans that may happen, or may even avoid sleeping for longer because of the possibility.]

and then its dodgebrawl; he sees his chance to really flaunt his non-substance. [*]noah hates physical activity, thats one of his main Ideas in his compartmentalized collection. which better challenge to utilize it in than this one? again, hes elimination fodder. as far as he's concerned, this works out perfectly.

[*this would kind of give you a reason to change his lack of athleticism if you so wished. theres an alternate-alternate version of canon keeping this same noahs background that i might post about on here at some point, but in said AU hes more physically adept bc of his past in behind-the-scenes work. whos to say he hasnt helped carry heavy set pieces or ran around during busy hours?

it could serve to be a) self indulgent to some degree, and who doesnt love that, but also b) further alienate him from his cast, where even one of the barest traits he exhibits is just flat out wrong.

or you could just keep it as-is, and alter his attitude towards anything physical while keeping his unathleticism. or it could just be one of his chosen (truthful) traits that he decides fits with his on-screen character. its pretty ambiguous]

he gloats and inserts his quips where he can, the book hes carrying really just there to really sell it -- in terms of the cast and their thoughts, its again strange.

hes saying Words, but theyre Detached from the character and demeanor. hes putting on a performance and hes selling it pretty well, but its still hard to shake how off something seems about it. but noah does sell it and he gets voted off, off to his long vacation stay which he is absolutely looking forward to.

he arrives at the island, he gives his character interview full of non-answers, and then -- well, thats it. or it would've been it had he not noticed the obscene explosion of popularity the show had from its debut. the general public loved it, and you know what happens to shows that people absolutely adore? they get approved for second seasons.

this is the fact that tips noah straight into barring himself from all interpersonal relationships, as he was already wary simply by virtue of them being his castmates --theyre on screen, on set with him. that changes a lot about your dynamic with someone. -- and that he never really knows if theyre being watched on the playa; it is network-owned at the end of the day. so both the uncertainty and 'confirmation' of a second season lead him to avoid the cast entirely. literally.

nobody sees anything of noah beyond flashes in peripherals, disappearing books from the living area, and dirty dishes -- until theyre called for filming of haute camp-ture. and while its obvious to everyone else that theyre treading lightly around him since they, you know, havent seen him at all, noah acts completely unchanged. no acknowledgement of his absence, just the same dynamic with his castmates hes always had on-screen.

afterwards, someone tries to get his attention, to be like 'hey?????', and noah dismisses them extremely flatly. like npc dialogue. and then he disappears again, until i triple dog dare you, which im going to say they just gather everyone outside and let them do their own things until someone spins them and they have to give a dare. noah sits himself on a pool chair in his swim shirt and trunks with a book and Does Not interact with the cast at all.

^ you could spin it where they get a bunch of dares from the contestants individually and just read off from where theyre listed or whatever but this would be a chance to have alternate povs noting exactly what the characters think of noahs separation from everyone

anyway theyre called on the island for the [*]finale between owen and gwen, and he lets himself fade into the background. his work is done, it has been done, and now he just has to wait for what the segue into the inevitable second season is so he can wipe his hands clean of it (or so he thinks)

[*i think it could be written both ways, one where when the cast cheers he cheers and when they scream he screams, or another where despite the frenzied emotions around him, noah remains unaffected.

perhaps it could be used as a kind of 'well even people like zeke and eva are rowdy about this' contrast where either way it comes off as incredibly uncanny; one way, hes showing distinct emotion where he never has before, while never having shown any emotional investment in the winner. and the other way, hes completely detached from the emotions around him, to the point where he acts like its not even happening; his lack of investment in the winner is offputting, esp when compared to very early eliminated contestants who still do care.]

[tallulah477]

loving how fleshed out this royalty au is getting KFNFNFDN and see i cant be descriptive like u my brain cant do all that LMFAO i love ur writing style for this and overall

but oml i imagine their first time would be after a heated argument its midnight everyone but the guards and a few employees are asleep and here loak and princess!reader are having a huge argument (basically a lot of confessing of how they both didnt want this marriage to be a thing stuff like that) and theres a quick pause between them bc theyre catching their breaths from arguing sm and they just start full on making out though princess!reader is super inexperienced and os trying to keep up with loak whose had a few one night stands here and there

loak telling her how pretty she looks pissed off at him (and everyone), how no one would put up with her attitude (not even neteyam) but him bc he finds it hot lw — meanwhile her brain is malfunctioning bc hes touching her everywhere and its getting her all hot

and when they do start fucking? as much as i would like for him to be put in her place for being a brat i 100% believe he would be super soft (yet still dominate) their first time, loak who already has had a few ons and is usually just there to fuck and dip actually takes his time with his future wife

eating her out, fingering her trying to stretch her out to fit him while his other hand was on her stomache to pin her down and shes covering her mouth so they wont get caught

and when he puts it in he goes slow, watching her reaction, kissing her temple, cheeks, eyelids anywhere saying shes taking him so well, how she was made for him, how he cant wait to have more nights like this with her - lots of praises which she cant handle bc shes not use too it and shes getting all flustered as shes getting fucked lol her nails digging into his forearms or going down his back - her eyes rolling to the back if her head bc he feels so good and so full

and loak making out with her so she wont moan too loud (he doesnt really care if they caught but she knows her reputation within high society is kind of bad so anything to avoid a scandal for his future wife <333)

— 🤍

The way this past week has kept me so busy and all I could think about was your asks 😩 😩 😩

Me too, babes! I’m living for this AU lmao. Idk though, you seem like you’re doing a great job at being descriptive 👀 but I’m glad that you’re liking my input. I think we make a good team!

Everyone knows you’re the mastermind behind this AU though, I’m just here for the ride lol 🧡

Catch up on the story:

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five

Extra: One | Two

CW:// Smut

Their emotions are so high!

This has been a long time coming - it's been nearly a year of back and forth. Nearly a year of glaring, of snide comments and sneering remarks as they're forced together 'for the good of the kingdom'. Nearly a year of heated arguments and even more heated glances that catch on the a long column of throat or the swell of a breast.

It's getting close to that time when Jake and Neytiri are set to step down from the throne. Both Lo'ak and Princess are old enough to take their place. Princess has been trained her whole life for this, she's ready - knows the ins and outs of royal life and how to handle foreign dignitaries and council issues without even having to bat her perfectly curled eyelashes. Lo'ak, on the other hand . . . well, he's good enough. He still learning; it will take YEARS for him to fully learn everything that Neteyam had been taught to do and handle since the moment he was born. But he's getting there - he's much smarter and more capable than his parents or Princess ever give him credit for.

But it's still intense. Nerves are getting the better of them, their anxiety is through the roof. The stress that they're going to fuck up somehow is making them worried and frustrated and they're snapping at each other even more than usual. If Lo'ak messes up, it's going to be proof to him and his parents (and the entire kingdom) that he will never be as good as his brother, and he hates that he can't even go one day without being compared to Neteyam. If Princess messes up, her life is over. Lo'ak would be upset if he messed up, but he would be okay. But she's a woman, and worse - she's a woman trying to maintain a position of power. She already has people rooting for her to fail. If this goes south for her, just one mess up, and she's done.

So they're both not feeling their best when they return to their rooms after their official engagement ball. They were paraded around, told to be quiet, to stick to the speeches written for them, to "Smile, for God's sake! Can you at least act like you like each other?"

The were forced to roam the ballroom, arm and arm, large smiles plastered on their faces as they talk to important person after important person, answering the same questions over and over and over again.

"Are you excited? You should feel very blessed,"

"How do you feel stepping into your brother's shoes?"

"Have you heard from Prince Neteyam at all?"

"Is it true he ran away with a maid?"

"How long after your marriage and coronation can we expect an heir?"

They danced together, bodies moving to the rhythm of the perfectly performed orchestra as they twirl together almost seamlessly across the shiny ballroom floor. Their eyes don't leave each other as they dance, spinning to the music and seeming to notice nothing else around them except for each other before the coda plays and the dance comes to an end. They bow and curtsey respectively, eyes narrowing briefly at the other as they both try to push the annoying thought of how effortless the entire piece was and what that might signify.

Lo'ak's not in his room for five minutes when a knock on the door sounds. He's still in his fancy clothes, and the only thing he's managed to remove is his waistcoat. He's still working on unbuttoning his ruffled shirt when Princess's maid enters his bedchamber.

"My Prince, my Princess is requesting your presence,"

Lo'ak frowns. "For what?"

"She would like to discuss with you some matters regarding tomorrow's meeting with the council members,"

"No," Lo'ak scoffs. "I'm tired. We can talk tomorrow."

The older woman nods, understanding. "Yes, my Prince. However, my Lady does want me to insist and remind you that she has been training for this life far longer than you have and it is within your best interest to heed her suggestions,"

Lo'ak's hands drop from his shirt, a deep growl bursting from his throat at the slight coming from an infuriating girl currently located across the castle. He barrels past the maid, cutting through hallways until he's outside Princess's door. His knock is rough and angry, and she's still in her ball gown when she answers, a small smirk playing at her lips with a cocky, "Oh, good. You're here,"

"You summoned me?"

She has about two seconds to gloat and take pride in his pissed off expression before he's yelling at her. Harsh words spill from his lips - "you're a spoiled brat" "you're nothing without me" "You wouldn't have this chance anymore since Neteyam left if not for me,". The words aren't new, he's said them before - but this time they hit harder, and her carefully crafted visage of complete emotional stability and self control come crumbling down around them.

She's yelling at him back, interrupting his scathing words and spitting her own about how he'll never be like his brother, how if she leaves then it will be on him to look as a failure in front of his father, how she doesn't even want this marriage, never wanted it, but she has to if she ever wants any kind of a life.

They're both breathing heavy when the yelling stops, glaring daggers at each other as they try to calm their breathing. She can't help when her eyes trail down to his torso, taking in the fully unbuttoned shirt hanging open around his muscular chest, mixed metal necklaces contrasting nicely against his dark skin. His eyes are on her too, locked onto the soft swell of her breasts heaving in the tight corset top of her dress.

It's pure instinct as they come together, neither one making the active decision to lunge forward and press their lips together. Yet, here they are - in the middle of the quiet hallway, Lo'ak gripping Princess's face in his hands as her own latch onto the strong muscles of his arms through his frilly shirt.

Lo'ak's mouth on hers is sure and practiced, moving against hers with the expertise of someone who has had his fair share of women. He licks at the seam of her own trembling lips, letting out a soft breath at the shaky moan he receives for his efforts and bites gently at her plump bottom lip.

Princess's head is reeling, nervousness and desire pooling in her chest and making her shake against him. She doesn't know what she's doing, and it shows through her inexperience as she desperately tries to keep up with Lo'ak as his tongue curls against hers. And, despite the heated screaming match that brought them to this point, he's surprisingly gentle with her.

It's only when they part, just enough for them to breath, that Princess realizes they're now alone in her room. At some point during their kissing, Lo'ak must have walked them in and closed the door behind them, shielding them from any prying eyes who may have stumbled upon them even in the dead of night. She feels something build in her heart at the realization he did it for her.

She doesn't expect to lose her virginity that night. She always thought it would happen on her wedding day and even then it would be something that she has to do - an obligation that comes with the role of a future Queen. She's never wanted someone like that before.

But here with Lo'ak, it's different. He's looking at her, head tilted down as she stares up at him, his dark eyes boring into hers so dark she can practically see her own flushed reflection starting back at her. And she wants.

And then they're kissing again, slow and gentle and oh so good. Her hands slide up the flat planes of his stomach, fingertips caressing the soft skin so lightly as she drags them up and around that they tickle his ribs. His hands are back on her face, large palms cradling her cheeks, thumbs dragging slowly under her eyes as she sighs into his mouth.

Without thinking, her hands push off his opened shirt, sliding the fabric from his shoulders. His lips move down to her neck, kissing at the delicate skin and sucking on her hammering pulse point as she gasps. His hands move to the back of her dress, playing with the zigzagging ties and loosening them up with skilled fingers. She holds her breath as her dress slides off, self-consciously avoiding Lo'ak's gaze as he marvels at her naked body.

"You're so beautiful," He whispers, breathless, and she knows he means it.

He prepares her properly, like a true gentleman. Licking up her juices as he eats her out, sucking on her clit to hear her pretty moans but biting on her thigh in reprimand when she gets too loud. His tongue dips inside her and her thighs squeeze his head as she shoves her hand over her own mouth in an effort to quiet herself.

He makes her cum twice before he even gets his pants off. Once on his tongue, his eyes rolling back into his head at the taste of her orgasm, and once on his fingers, carefully pushing them into her drenched cunt, mindful of the fact that she's nervous and definitely hasn't done this before. His fingers curl inside her, thumb playing with her clit as he stretches her out to take his cock, whispering sweet praises in her ear about how perfect she is, how she's so fucking beautiful when she's angry and how hot he gets for her when she's pissed at him.

And when he pushes inside her, groaning in pleasure at the feel of her wet, warm walls hugging his cock, he kisses the tears from her face and praises her more. He tells her how he's dreamed about her, how she's doing such a good job, being such a good girl for him and taking him so well. He starts up a slow tempo, a gentle rocking of his hips against hers as he moves inside her, cock dragging against her gummy walls as she whines and moans, nails digging into his back as she tries to pull him even closer, overwhelmed by the very feel of him. She feels so good, so full - so so full. His cock is so deep inside her, rubbing a special spot inside her that she didn't know she had but makes her see stars.

"You wouldn't have been happy with Neteyam," He moans, and he shocks himself with how quickly the realization hits him. "You were made for me,"

(HELP the way this is long enough to be an actual fic lmao)

(Side note: what does lw mean?? Cannot for the life of me figure it out 😂)

[wooahaes]

skz - stardew au

daisy's notes: bc i wanna have a counterpart to the svt au

for bang chan, i'm kinda torn? i can see him living with his family and being a loving big brother to his siblings. i kinda wanna give him specifically something more akin to sam where he has his music heart events. maybe he's working with changbin and jisung and later you get to see the song he wrote with your input? i think one of his heart events would have something to do with his love for dogs and another being hannah teasing chris about how often he talks about you (interpreted however you like since its a heart event you can access before dating him). maybe.. perhaps... a heart event on the beach where he talks about how much he loves it? which comes back when he confesses to you on the beach? yes. i think he'd probably just work at joja mart or something or do freelance work at home. man who will water crops and feed the animals and fix fences after marrying you tho. he just wants to help <3 also dad of the year if u have kids they will be So supported!!!

lee know... honestly, he and jisung are really good with kids, so i could see minho being the one who runs a school for the kids in town (fulfilling penny's role). probs a little quiet in the beginning as he's trying to get a better read on you as a person, but warms up quickly. at least one of his heart events is him feeding stray cats and being caught by you. he doesn't get flustered or anything but he does talk about how he likes caring for things... and for people, too. maybe a mention that he worries about coming off as mean when he just has a particular sense of humor--and he usually only makes those jokes around certain people who he knows can handle it. omg wait chris says minho's dad makes furniture or something... minho lives on the mountain with his dad, the town carpenter??? imagine romancing minho and his family just Knowing because of how often you make the trip up there for non-farm related stuff lmao. he probably confesses to you during a picnic or a walk in the woods. i love the idea of him also feeding animals after marrying you or cooking for u sometimes... what a softie!! dad of the year #2 btw

changbin kinda fits into taking alex's position in a sense? lives with his family (loves them SO much and you WILL know it), works out a lot, etc. i can honestly kinda see him talking about wanting to do something with it professionally, but in terms of opening up a gym rather than playing sports. man who is nice to begin with but will be down so fucking bad for you by the time you finish romancing him. hes just a loving dude!! i like to imagine he talks vaguely about traveling a little bit but says that he never saw himself going through w it because he doesnt like the idea of leaving his family. maybe... he has a softer side too in terms of art or writing? like the guy talks abt maybe being a writer or a tattoo artist, i could maybe see that coming up in his heart events. consider... poetry boy bc he writes lyrics and idk i think theres at least a little crossover there. he confesses with lyrics he wrote for u. also probably thrives in married life on the farm??? plenty of space to work out and go on walks... thank u.

hyunjin.... leah. he's just having a good time living in the forest and painting/drawing. i feel like he'd be a little standoffish in the very beginning, but warms up to you a lot over time. probably would ask if he can hang out on your farm and draw sometimes. his lil section behind ur house??? absolutely an easel facing toward the farm so its implied he's painting u/ur farm. honestly i kinda like to think he works at the saloon and probably voices his annoyance to you that tourists sometimes hit on him and he's not really a fan. imagine literally having a heart event where he claims ur his partner to get someone to knock it off, and later sends u something nice in the mail as thanks. probably one of the more romantic guys. i think he'd enjoy married life on the farm a bit considering it gives him plenty of space to enjoy nature and draw if he wants to, plus he has you to support him in his artistic endeavors. absolutely insists on doing some things around the farm like feeding animals because it's the least he can do to make ur life easier.

for han... honestly i could see him functioning as elliott-adjacent? the kind of guy who writes, but he's busy writing lyrics. his first heart event 100% includes chris + changbin passing by reader and jisung talking in town and they invite him to come make music w them if he wants. alternatively, i could see jisung as being the shy son of the couple who runs the ranch. i think he'd warm up to reader more and more over time, and it'd absolutely have his family sending him up to reader's farm sometimes on "errands" like delivering feed there and whatnot. wait jisung w the blue chickens. genius. either way, i feel like he also would probably open up to reader about being an introvert and how he's good with people, but that he has his limits and he appreciates having ppl in his life who don't push him to be extroverted. he does feed animals for you (and put water out for ur pet) and probably mends fences for u as well. man who is aware that sprinklers exist.

felix... ok vibe w me for a minute. felix who's family runs the general store. gamer boy who probably games with you for one of his heart events. some of his events also take place on the beach tbh where he talks about swimming in summer and going to the beach w his sisters?? maybe his heart events kinda talk about how he doesn't really know what he wants to do sometimes. he has things he likes doing, ykno? also at least one of his heart events is a lil sad and u get to comfort him and he sends you a letter saying he appreciates the kindness in ur heart. gives! you! treats! after u marry him! always says a little 'sorry i woke up early and started baking... but you like these, right?' before giving u a lil treat. also will feed the animals on your farm and mention how he likes helping you however he can <3

seungmin is mr 'its not like i like you' in the beginning where he's not mean by any means, but he is like hm. farmer :/. kinda like haley? he's nice enough to people he knows super well, but he takes a moment to warm up to new ppl in the valley. tourists? he's polite enough. a random person who moved there out of nowhere? ew. why would you come here? but he warms up to you quickly. he lives w jeongin! sometimes he'll go visit him after he marries you and they just have a friends day. anyway i think his heart events talk about him wanting to be a photographer. maybe you help him get a website together that he continues to maintain into marriage + he'll go off and take pics in the forest on some days. lovingly cooks and waters ur crops for u <3

i.n... lives with seungmin, as mentioned before, and i think he'd work at joja. openly tells you he dislikes it but he's gotta make a living somehow. he mentions that sometimes he'll help minho with teaching the kids if he needs it, but sometimes he'll also tutor any of the kids needing the extra help (minho always recommends him bc he knows jeongin wants the extra money). honestly i feel like he'd probably enjoy married life on the farm where he can explore what he wants to do in life without having to worry too heavily about other things. probably has very sweet heart events where u can really see how mature he is sometimes. one of them involves him tutoring the kids outside one day and u get to impart farmer knowledge on them (which is pulling from one of penny's but shh).

[sporesgalaxy]

since i dont want an entire "zim age debate" on your blog im keeping this off anon so you can answer this privately if you want

im ALSO not trying to "convince you" to change your interpretation of zim because thats stupid and completely defeats my entire point that its up in the air. thatd also be pretty mean of me!

but my main point is that i think different writers on the show have different ideas for how they see him, considering jhonen is not the sole opinion-haver there and his favorite thing to do is make shit up. like richard and andy((zim and dibs voice actors, respectively)) im pretty sure dont think hes an old man otherwise the puppet kiss incident or the "i love you zim" wouldnt have happened. ((not that i want this to be About shipping but thats a big example)) and then theres advertisements calling zim an "alien kid" or jhonen himself calling zim a child in the old pilot bible

i understand what you mean with tak the hideous new girl however thats also the episode where he tries to Date tak under the impression that shes a human child and id rather not see my funny greenboy as a predator. i just always thought that the 60 years joke was "haha isnt it funny that were using ridiculously long periods of time and theyre still children"

not to mention mopiness of doom where it shows that zim and dib are grossly codependent enemies and i just dont really want to imagine a 60+ year old man and a child depending on eachother like that,,,,,

theres more "evidence" but i think this ask has gone on long enough

ALL OF THAT BEING SAID!!!!! theres no definitive proof either way and i find that unless youre shipping or really want to dig into the child soldier angle((which i personally find interesting)) it doesnt really matter. again this isnt supposed to be a persuasive essay just like,, idek. i like discussing this show and the characters in it! theres story benefits to either interpretation of zim and i like your art either way

uhh,, cheers and also sorry i think!!

eh. I had to write so much to respond to all this, it seems wasteful not to post.

TL; DR

There is no way for me to 100% guarantee that zadr will be read the same way by everyone, because it won't be, as is the nature of all media. That is exactly why I don't think that everyone who interprets Zim as a child necessarily has ill or manipulative intentions.

But I can provide arguments like the following for why I think zadr and kids who ship it would be a likely target for groomers, and therefore why I feel it is a good idea to discourage this ship.

As I mentioned in the previous ask, I think that said discouragement should be approached with the mindset that not everyone involved is malicious or arguing in bad faith. It is necessary to determine how best to act depending on the situation.

Personally, I'm going to continue pointing out the problems I see with the ship as much as I can in hopes of changing peoples' minds, whenever I have the time and energy to do so.

re: the VAs: This does not refute my point about Zim being easily read as an adult bc of the 50 years comment/ many other contextual implications made by the show. If anything the vagueness about Zim's age because of his alien society could make this a more useful grooming tool. I feel the same way about Bill Cipher x Dipper. Bill has just as much childish adult coding and just as little certainty about his age within the context of his alien species.

•••

re: the pilot bible: the show changes lots of things from the pilot bible so this is no more reliable than any other "word of god" (input from creators of the show rather than material within the show) from Jhonen.

That said, I think the VAs were joking around and did not put much thought into it. Joking around by making characters act the opposite of normal (hating each other -> liking each other) is common.

That said, I think the unprovable nature of the intentions behind the VAs comments is a good argument for excluding word of god from the Zim age conversation entirely. I think that zadr is still Not Good and should be Discouraged even if you only look at the show with no additional outside input, for all the reasons I explained in the first ask and have added here.

re: advertisements calling Zim an alien kid: a bunch of characters in the show call him a kid because they are genuinely convinced he is one, so it doesnt surprise me that advertisement/bumper writers who arent really paying attention would call him that.

re: trying to date Tak: in that episode it is made VERY clear that Zim does not understand romance at all, and does not care to beyond what's necessary to blend in. He clearly does not genuinely want to date her and only wants to use it to seem more socially normal. The Keef episode established a precedent for how Zim treats human relationships he's unfamiliar with, and it's by doing the bare minimum and then ditching them immediately. It's not GOOD behavior by any stretch, but he isn't acting with genuine predatory intentions.

re: 60 years joke: yeah sure that is a joke the show might make. But the additional cultural context we have for Zim's life (that he has been a soldier for a long time + that he trained to become a soldier for a long time, as we see in The Trial) gives Tak being a janitor for 50 years more potential to be taken literally.

re: mopiness of doom: yeah honestly I just personally don't like that episode script. But also, as codependant as they are and as weird as that is, nothing about it is inherently romantic. My frenemies argument from the end of the original post still stands, as do all of my arguments about the ship being potentially useful for grooming because of the lack of clarity.

re: your conclusion: The fact that Irkens HAVE child soldiers IS interesting, yes, and we see in The Trial that Zim has been trained to be a soldier basically since birth, which is also interesting to consider for Zim's character.

However, I explained in the previous ask how I think reading Zim as a child during the current events of the show weakens some of the show's core themes about incompetent, unquestioning adults. I think the whole show just makes more sense if it is centered around a socially shunned child and socially shunned adult fighting against each other. The fact that Zim is old and still a loser further highlights how futile both his and Dib's aspirations to greatness are within their respective societies-- and they are CLEARLY meant to be seen as futile.

I cannot think of a theme or character arc that would be served by Zim's age being unclear, so I do not think it comes across as intentional, even if you rule out word of god. But still, even if nothing I've read into here was intentional, what matters is that it is lends itself to being interpreted as an adult/child ship, or being interpreted as an age gap that "doesnt count" for superficial reasons. And NO I am not claiming that there is any way to conclusively determine that a ship with an unclear age gap has crossed the line into potentially harmful territory. It HAS to be considered on a case-by-case basis. And you've made it clear that there are muddling factors to sift through for this one in particular!

But I feel very strongly that these muddling factors are more circumstantial than, less intuitive than, and ultimately outweighed by, the parts of the text which contextually place Zim as an adult, and will continue providing examples supporting this conclusionc whenever I am able to.

[stardustfanfare]

ok yoy know what idc im making a post now. i have so many thoughts about milgram and shockingly few of the bigger ones are about the prisoners. ive got three main things.

es/the unreliable narration

the voting system

the prison itself

these all directly tie into each other.

so im actually gonna start off with the second bullet point because it bothers me so much. i know the whole point is just to judge based on whatever but frankly im too autistic to just be like yeah ok i condone these actions. imean obviously i condone not very many of these actions at all!!! they have completely different degrees of severity. theres no standard. which again. i know. thats the point. but "do i think they deserve a punishment" and "do i agree with their actions" are such vastly different things. most importantly, We Don't Fully Understand the Punishments. we have no idea what will happen after the results of trial three. essentially, we're playing the game because we were told to. we're not questioning it because milgram is structured so that we cant. ill touch back on this later bc this is kind of my main point. now where point two bleeds into point three: can i (as es) judge the prisoners? i mean, obviously i can, but milgram is all about the ethics, the morality of each case in a lot of ways. is it moral of me, The Fucking Milgram Prison Guard, the guy who works for this strange extralegal prison that has just fucking taken these guys just to be judged, to point fingers at the prisoners and call them guilty, unforgiven?

now es. although es is a representation of the audience, they basically present our choices. the way milgram portrays es limits and changes the way we, the audience, can give input into the situation. it feels almost like... a false sense of power? and this has been going on since es woke up. there was no time to question it. "im the prison guard, its my duty." immediately blocks off the mystery of milgram in favor of the mysteries of the prisoners. we, the audience, understand the rules of milgram. we watch the mvs, we vote. it feels just too much like intentional obfuscation of the main goal, the true conflict at the heart of the whole story. and thats only half of what i have to say about this guy. as the trials progress, es seems to settle more and more into their role as the warden. but!!!!!!!!!!!!

the original milgram experiment.

it just feels so much like what we're doing. obedience to authority. i think the fact that its a piece of media directly impacts how we seem to feel about the voting. we're being told to play along so we do, at the expense of the prisoners. we have no real idea of what will happen to them.

so actually funnily enough, when i brought up the milgram experiment to someone, they misremembered it as the stanford prison experiment. which also has like absurd and almost more interesting parallels.

so im not going to go fully into it, but whats interesting to me is this : es has been told theyre special, theyre the warden, the guard, ever since this whole thing started. but what if theyre not. what if theyre not special in any way. what if theyre just another participant, or another prisoner. i had forgotten about it until a friend brought it up but there are 11 cells. 00. es. i mean, who else would it be for. which raises another implication. if es is a prisoner, have they committed a crime too? then, from a moral standpoint, not only does it feel hypocritical to judge the prisoners as the warden, but also as a fellow murderer. as the voice dramas have progressed, es seems more and more antagonistic. we seem to be becoming the villain of the story, and yet its framed in a way that encourages us not to look into it. what happens if we find out we're the guiltiest of all?

[lesbiankoby]

I’ve kinda been thinking about this recently: what do you think obito thinks of Konoha as an institution?

I ask this because I’ve been reading some time travel fix it fanfics and, while I don’t think it’s necessarily ooc of him to return to konoha after the talk-no-jutsu in the fourth war (even as much as I would like for him to not go back) I do think that maybe with his understanding of how hidden villages work (shadow mizukage) and experiences with having control over his life and actions (not ignoring the slave seal, just it seems like the moon-eye plan worked at his pace not, say, zetsus. And by control over life and actions I mean his ability to act as an independent operator and decide where he was going to go what he was going to do etc. without the orders of a chain of command which definitely exist in konoha (at least we don’t really know how the other villages, like kiri, are run)) he might not be able to go back to konoha more rigid/controlled life - or at least not comfortably.

I don’t know how coherent that is but hope if nothing else it is interesting :)

oh obito is incredibly jaded about and detests the nations-wide institution of shinobi, konoha included, that's canon lol. to him it's a system that does little but churn out garbage-- him and kakashi both. though he's also incredibly fatalist about uh The World In General and not just shinobi... post talk-no-jutsu he does regain his like general faith in humanity though yeah. his parting words were essentially a desire for kakashi and naruto to take charge of konoha and change the system in his place, at least that's how i read his desire to see kakashi take up his old dream as hokage...? its complicated bc a lot of shit happened at once and also he was dying but i think he has faith that at least the people he believes in can improve the world they live in...? the antithesis of his previous wish to completely destroy the current world.

granted, i need to reread fourth war arc and take notes or something, the nuances of obitos Thing right there are probably escaping me rn.

(also, like, the slave seal was a deterrent obito wasn't even supposed to know about, so while in TRUTH he never had any other choice except walking the path of madara in practical reality he was directing his own movements and doing his mastermind shit without input from anyone else except himself, really, so yeah he's used to uhm a degree of independence lol. zetsu doesn't seem to care unless he went off the rails which he didn't.)

ANYWAY. ANYWAY. if we are to take "time travel fix it" into account, like, the peggy sue "wake up in own body from the past" it really depends on where in the timeline he landed...? i don't think he'd be fucking pleased to be taking orders from konoha again regardless (though of course hes aware theres a lot of things he needs to make amends for personally and even deeper down he wishes he'd never "left" for a plethora of reasons) but if hes in his twenties again or whatever imo he is absolutely not going back there and will probably start Conniving(tm) outside of konoha's borders to benefit his friends in the capacity hes capable of and clean up his own messes and if he's like, twelve years old again (nightmare) i can... hmm, see him sticking around, unless he really gets pushed over the edge abt smth, maybe? its hmmm i don't think he actually hates minato but i fail to see much evidence he'd feel comfortable ever properly trusting the guy for the ways minato betrayed his trust and the way obito betrayed his. idk... obito has priorities (his friends) and he's a scheming schemer who schemes so hed wriggle into the position that best let him do what he wants. i think. take that as you will.

but yeah! obitos interesting to think about i really need to go back and actually take notes.

[cpunkwitch]

I wanted to get other phys disabled people’s input if that’s okay

I’m just wondering at what point is pain and weakness with mobility (and arm movement) normal vs abnormal? Like do ablebodied people really not get any pain during things like bending down/getting up, going up and down stairs, walking, lifting and using arms.. unless they’re already injured? Can “because you haven’t been exercising and sit all day”or “it’s bc you’re autistic” genuinely be the cause for pain like that? if ablebodied people don’t exercise often can they feel pain and trouble with mobility?

Then that leads me to think .. well how much exercise do u even need because I technically do physical activity multiple times a week for months until a certain pointr every year… yet I still have these symptoms and some muscle atrophy. the pain also seems to be worsening over time

I did one genetic swab test for things like neuromuscular disorders and it was negative so now I’m like well if the test results are negative what now….I match symptoms of certain neuromuscular disorders so well but the test was negative and now I’m like so confused I feel kinda fake? Do u have a similar experience?

the normal amount of pain for an able bodied person, especially with regular mobility, is 0 pain. none at all.

you joints can get weak and you can get sore after a bit of physical labour like walking up a flight of stars or lifting a bunch of boxes if you dont exercise and maintain your body's health (even just going for regular walks is enough sometimes) but thats exhaustion after strenuous activity

physically disabled people usually feel that constantly, have even less strength and energy to spend on that stuff than an able-bodied person does.

disabled people continue to have their pain and issues no matter how much exercise and care for their body they do, its good to keep it up but an able bodied person wouldnt continue to feel that. for an able bodied person thats temporary, for us, its chronic.

my body is deteriorating. i get regular walks in to help my joints, i do stretches to help with my muscles and my back, but its only to help slow down whats happening with me and to keep me as mobile as possible for as long as possible as my spine continues to twist and bend over the years. an able bodied person wouldnt feel pain just standing up and sitting down and moving their limbs let alone need a physical routine like i do.

i feel you though, a lot of times my imposter syndrome hits hard and i feel like im faking. but we're not. no mater what condition or label we are told we do/do not have our experience with our bodies is still there, still real, still valid.

no one knows our bodies like we do.

if you think theres a possibility there and you can do it, i'd push to get tested again and/or look for other possibilities on what it could be, there might be other things your symptoms overlap with (which i find happens a lot, thats actually part of how i found out i was anemic instead of diabetic) though you dont have to, just if you want to. you dont have to follow any of my ramblings or anything, its just always good to check again and look into other things just in case y'know? /lh

[teasinterests]

Because i’m bored.. here’s a list of pairings / ships I enjoy!

I definitely plan to write for most if not all of these sometime!

( beware I have the most.. cracked ships ever.. )

—————————————————————————

- TatsuHime: This is a given.. I love them. HiMERU being all grumpy & hateful towards Tatsumi, just to eventually begin falling for him. Whilst Tatsumi deeply admires HiMERU, and believes to have admired him for a long time. Although this pairing is pretty messed up, I love it. 🥹 I cannot put into words how much I wanna go OFF about these two..

- KanaTatsu: No, not Kanata.. KanaME! I HAAARD hc that Kaname was Tatsumi’s first ever crush after entering public school. Same going for Kaname.. Kaname is so… (deep inhale..) I literally cannot fit how I feel about him in 1 paragraph but hoo boy.. these two are so in love..

- TatsuEi: I fucking ADORE these two together. I have a whole headcanon about what happened n shit during Tatsumi’s hospitalization, and how he ended up just?? Dropping off the face of the earth?! He canonly met Eichi during his (what I assume to be) first hospitalization as a highschooler. ( if you don’t know, Tatsumi was hospitalized twice during his period at Reimei. ) I have so so many ideas & hcs for these two I genuinely love them sm..

- Watatsu: Rubbing my hands together.. yes.. Wataru & Tatsumi.. this is actually such a crack ship based on some rps I had with a friend.. and I genuinely enjoy them? Just pure fun, and someone who is willing to give attention, patience, and care for Tatsumi. It’s just something he genuinely needs, and they’re very adorable together..

- Watatsuei: …. do I need to explain this? Just the 3 of them. Together… chefs kiss 😌

- TatsuRei: …. Priest x Vampire trope. That’s all i’m saying.

- TatsuMayoi: Shockingly!! I’m not suuper huge on TatsuMayoi but I do think they can be pretty cute at times. I don’t have a huge input on them, since they’re truthfully over shadowed by my other interests.. sorry Mayoi.. 😭

- TatsuMama: …. Slowly turns to the camera.. hear me out, ok? Hear me out!!!! Mama, right?! And also.. Papa Tatsu?! Come on.. they could be so soft n cute I swear…

- TatsuRinne: Idek how to explain this one.. this is just so catered towards me & the fact that I love Rinne & also Tatsu. I do love the fact that Tatsumi was one of the first people to psychoanalyze Rinne since Tatsumi just relates to him on a certain level. I can also dump my hcs abt these two as well bc.. sighs.. 💕

( ok enough Tatsu im sorry 🥹 )

- Wataei: This ones pretty obvious!! I love them, and their development of a relationship.. they have to be canon. Theres just no way..? Eichi is in need of someone who cares for him, and loves him, and Wataru is his newfound bluebird of happiness. 💙

- ReiChi: I actually don’t know a whole lot about Rei? Buut I do like this pairing as a duo, they’re funny, and are constantly bickering like children. The sillies!!

- MamaEi: Ok… i’m very much on the fence about this ship bc they HATE each other.. but HiMERU also rlly hates Tatsu so.. yk, enemies to lovers. ☺️❤️

- ChiaEi: Childhood friends.. 1 going 100mph and the other just vibing. They’re so silly, Chiaki definitely nuzzles Eichi so hard his hair gets poofy from static electricity. 🥹

- ChiaKuro: Theyre so… OINGY BOINGY!! The mippys.. honestly I love these two also.. I don’t have a huge opinion or analysis on them, but the fanart I see and context alone is so cute. Chiaki & Kuro are genuinely close, and its another instance where Kuro’s just vibing and Chiaki is bouncing off the walls at all times.

- ChiaKaoru: These two are so soft.. and.. once again.. another take of Kaoru just vibing and Chiaki running all over the room. Chiaki just needs a babysitter really. 😌

- MamaRei: I’ve never seen anyone mention this ship before..? I feel like they could have some chemistry, esp since Rei is always reaching out to Mama for assistance. Though Mama knows not to consistently rely on Rei. Their bond is so vague to me though I only partly know their story, but the idea of them together is cute…

- MamaLeo: Bruh… these two? Are so very cute. I also think their relationship is a bit sad in a way? Mama’s whole deal is sad, I think any relationship with him could be angsty, but the fact that Mama is more out of tune than Leo just says something there. Seeing Leo so confused and concerned over Mama is just.. 🥹 Not to mention Leo is one of the few people that id genuinely close with Mama. He loves and wants to protect Leo as much as he possibly can..

- RinHime: Sighhh.. Rinne & HiMERU.. bats my eyes.. these two would fight to the death if they could. Though I think Rinne would ultimately win, I think HiMERU could put up a decent fight as well. These two are just aggressive on aggressive and would constantly pick on each other. Though behind closed doors and in a relationship? I can definitely see Rinne cuddling up to HiMERU while he gently pets Rinne’s hair.. I fucking LOVE Rinne & HiMERU 🥹🥹

- HiiAi: My sons, my children.. as a TatsuP I have to love my babies. Hiiro & Aira are absolutely adorable together. I just wanna skimsh their faces.. 🥹

- AiHaku: THESE TWO?! Adorable… Literally online friends meeting irl?! They date.. my lil skimpys.. 🥹🥹

- NaruMika: So.. I will never write anything with Valkyrie as a heads up.. BUT I do very much like this ship. Arashi is so caring & loving towards Mika, and Mika returns those feelings just as much and.. wah.. they’re so so soft…

- NatsuMugi: I don’t have a HUGE opinion on these two as I do like them but they’re not a big fav fav.. tho their interactions are very funny together

- IbaYuzu: These two need to like, be put in a room with pillows and fight each other. They’re so funny idek how to describe this ship off the bat..

—————————————————————————

Ok I think thats just about my list for now.. it’s quite repetitive since I hyperfixate on my favorite characters the most.. but theres also some characters that I also like and just don’t have any ships for them yet! ✨

In addition.. just because a ship isn’t on here doesn’t mean i’d be opposed to writing it! Just as long as it’s age appropriate!! ❤️

[noivern]

Is GW2 easy for new people to get into? The only mmo I've played and committed to was FF14, but I've been looking to play others.

mixed i think? you can get the base game for free, so you can certainly dip your toes in, though to be honest, the 2012 era content largely feels a little dated now, tho i still have a lot of nostalgia for it.

gw2 uses a hybrid tab targeting system, so you can tab like a ffxiv/wow but also aim stuff and dodge and it feels a lot faster and more fluid to me, i found ffxiv slow and clunky after a 160 ish hour try gw2 does a much worse job of teaching itself than ffxiv tho, and where ffxiv very nicely onboards people into duty finder and group instanced content and such, gw2 can be frustratingly opaque at times. thankfully it has a really incredible wiki and the ability to type /wiki (name of thing) in game to open a page explaining what the hell you're doing. working out what to do after base game with the expansions and living world seasons can be annoying too. i also really love gw2's lack of subscription, so i dont feel pressured to be doing a certain amount to justify the upkeep. ive certainly bought way too many cosmetic things, but ive also had over 3000 hours of fun.

the pve, wvw (world vs world vs world), and pvp (5v5) modes are all healthy and can be dabbled with after relatively little input. gw2 uses a megaserver to mush people together outside of the server v server mass pvp (wvw) mode, so your choice doesnt matter much.

reading up on builds and theorycrafting and pushing mechanical performance can get very high level and hard or you can google engineer build and whack a recommendation on and go kil stuff, whatev

theres a lot of complexity and layers of bullshit and currencies and learning where everything is that comes with a 10 year old mmo and additions and new blahblahs and i found that a bit dazing when i returned a year ago but just do whatever seems good (i rec running through the story bc i love a story, but you can do whatever) and along the way the various 800 shiny goblin pebbles youve accumulated will make sense and maybe you can swap them for a cool ring idk

[spikeinthepunch]

theres been a lot of people saying the reddit black out is pointless, and wont do anything (should be said many are going to be private for longer than 48 hours- it wasnt exactly defined- also help subs for suicide/mental health/etc are open bc theyre important) and you know what? there is something very very important to realize in a time like this. how many userbase protests work? how many times have users also tried to do a protest like this, and it worked? Not many- almost none i'd say. The thing about them is they often need to disrupt the casual use of the platform (like a lot of IRL protests!)- Artstation AI protest was an example of that, flooding the site's browsing pages with the blackout image. And it did bring them attention but not really a solution. That is what many subs are doing right now- ones that may not stay private are also being restricted, which means no new posts or comments unless allowed on a mod post. So no circulation of new posts on the front/popular pages.

but heres the reality. user protests are very hard. internet protests are really hard. there are no physical, in person, violent protests. sometimes we may feel powerless IRL but we are so much more powerless online.

casual browsers of reddit are not very happy about this! they are mad that moderators in charge of their subs are revoking their ability to post, they dont like that mods in charge can do this! HM... its almost like people in charge of online users being able to have this much power is bad.... oh. doesnt this.... sound familiar???? doesnt this sound like the format of every goddamn website you go on? this is the issue. this is the struggle of online protests. someone in charge of reddit rn will likely rid of all real person who mods these big subs and replace it with some AI bullshit. They can do that. We cannot stop them.

I know that sounds hopeless. I know. but its gotta be said that people making fun of this or laughing at the attempt are defeating the mindset that should radicalize you on the internet. you know the cutesy little web revival movement people were defining as simply nostalgia? the mainstream seemed to have missed that actual reason (one well explained by sadgirl.online that become even more intense as the movement went on). THIS is one of those reasons. THIS is the thing that you need to understand. The corporate run social media will always be able to control you. It will happen to tumblr, no matter how much you feel you have input w that dev blog you can send suggestions to... they arent your friends. Tumblr especially loves to have this cute little friendly energy with users- being funny and joking around and some of us dont like that, but a ton of users dont really get the perspective that they shouldnt indulge in it.

really this shouldnt be a hopeless "all internet user protests are pointless", and i know this post sounds negative as hell. but people stuck in this social media bubble very much miss the real message that was trying to be shown with the web revival movement and you guys have got to see it. you have to be on the side of the protest no matter how "pointless" you think it is. because its not their faults that its pointless, its not in their power. But reddit's situation is very different when you have users who are... above the userbase- mods. this is a fantastic example of how users with more power can be destructive BUT actually how overall, anyone with power over a userbase can control SO much. the CEO has this power, but even above the sub mods, and that is bad! that is bad for every single website!! the users are pissed that seemingly normal people who mod subs have too much power- who in turn are ironically, upset that someone has power over them!!! who fucking knew. THIS is a huge lesson is power and control on the internet. stay aware.