#bc they genuinely don't understand that there's more. that what's being held away from them like a reward

[roobylavender]

although i have a lot of hard feelings about romance novels and often come out of them 9/10 times with hatred and embarrassment laced into my heart i do think most people can agree that romance novels at large have developed in response to the control over people's sexual lives and how that's subsequently led to a desperate desire from the sexually repressed to be equal participants in a sexual environment. it's not so much that women want to be in relationships with dominant men to whom they play housewife or baby incubator or worse. it's that women want to be in relationships at all. and because the standard for relationships at large is the nuclear family, this is what subsequently shows up in your literature. why do you think religious women in particular are such a huge audience for romance novels despite the often conservative environment they grow up in? it's bc the consumption of romance novels does not exist in spite of that conservatism but bc of it. to be gatekept from any expression of sexual desire until you marry or until you fornicate for the purposes of having a child is to breed in young women a desire for what we would now no longer consider practices entailing any self-respect. you're kept in an ideological cage all of your life, naturally you reach for what's immediately out of reach rather than consider that there could be more out there that is available to you. it sucks! it's sad, it's horrific, it makes me wanna cry. but i can also never quite blame women for it bc they're not the ones who've created this environment of sexual conservatism (ie the real puritan culture, the one that hypersexualizes virgins by obsessively protecting their chastity prior to marriage bc said chastity can only ever belong to one man). man has. religion has. patriarchy has. why would i focus my hatred on women who are merely coping with the status quo rather than the systems in place that we actually have to change to allow for more sexual freedom and agency?

[ahoyimlosingmymind]

genuine thoughts on Sokeefe. Go 🎤

This is gonna piss somebody off. They're probably one of my least favorite ships in fiction to date. Only coming slightly before Jude and Cardan lol It's not a popular opinion, I know, so please don't come @ me. And I haven't read the books in so long... I might have details screwy.

PS: I don't hate Sokeefe shippers, ship away, it doesn't bother me. but I hold deep animosity for the way the ship is written.

Sokeefe feels contrived, and unplanned. Which is the appeal to many, but the turn off for me. Genuinely. I think I just have issues with the writing and execution of it. If you have to completely ruin the other love interest (Fitz) to convince me that the runner up is better... we got issues.

Allow me to explain:

Fitzphie felt intentional and planned. And sue me, I hate love triangles and I like when someone can just unequivocally choose someone and stick with them.

I used to really ship Fitzphie, but after Legacy I was really annoyed with the way Shannon wrote it all playing out. It felt fabricated and convoluted and completely out of character. Sure, I can pathologize why Fitz would care about matchmaking to the moon and back... but canonically, it doesn't even make sense. He was okay with going to Exullium and ruining his reputation that way, he was okay with infiltrating the ogre king's mind, and throwing hands with his brother publicly, being seen with Sophie, and befriending outcasts- but matchmaking is his last straw?? That's what suddenly got him pissed off? Not the fact that Sophie was keeping secrets, emotionally confiding in Keefe and not Fitz, whilst claiming Fitz as her boyfriend, letting his traitorous brother go etc...

^THOSE are all way more valid reasons to break up a ship like Fitzphie. That's a break up I can respect. Bc we know Fitz values honesty, trust and dependability. That tracks. We know he struggles with anger, but only when something actually serious is happening: His dad's mind breaking, Alvar betraying them <- arguably bigger deals than matchmaking by a LANDSLIDE. but anyway- I'm fine with them being broken up. I just wish it hadn't taken a complete character assassination and a stupid reason. I am of the mind that Fitz straight up just deserves better atp and that he's been ooc for the last few books and held to unfair standards compared to Keefe and Sophie's characters. Which just makes me pissed off at the whole ship lmao

(this all led to me beginning to dislike the series as a whole, and Fitz becoming my favorite character.)

OKAY- now for Sokeefe.

They feel contrived and like a fan-service. Don't hate me PLEASE-

You mean to tell me I read 7 books straight of Sophie pining after Fitz, never commenting on having romantic feelings for Keefe (aside from loving him in general as a friend and finding him attractive and him making suggestive comments about her feelings and being overly touchy feely and her deliberately choosing not to examine it) only for Sophie to suddenly act like she hadn't been obsessed with Fitz for 7 books straight the moment she had him?? because of some stupid concept about head and heart emotions?? (It's world building. I get it. Doesn't mean I don't find it hilariously dumb.)

I ALWAYS got the undertone of Keefe pining for Sophie, but she did not have that energy back towards him. In fact, she seemed wildly uncomfortable in some scenes (the one in Nightfall?? I think?? Where he backs her up against a wall??) and she seemed to not understand and be completely oblivious to his suggestive comments, aside from making her blushy and self conscious cuz she's an insecure character.

So anyway, after the Fitzphie break up, reading Stellarlune- I KNEW she was going to end up with Keefe. Not because it made sense, or because it had been foreshadowed in SOPHIE"S POV, but bc the fans wanted it and Keefe is a favorite, and he grew on Shannon. I just- maybe I'm just bitter, but I have never been under the impression that Sophie genuinely wanted a romantic relationship with Keefe. Until this book. Which felt like whiplash to me.

Wasn't our girl just crying over Fitz? like what is going onnnn

I could respect Sokeefe If Sophie had been having a mental war between Fitz and Keefe since at least book five, I'd believe that she had real romantic feelings for Keefe. BUT SHE DIDN"T. at least- not that I remember. So with the lack of build up on her part, but the readers obvious awareness of Keefe's feelings for her... it falls flat. Had Shannon planned on Sokeefe being endgame and had she sprinkled in more deliberate and crushy thoughts that could only be interpreted as romantic on Sophie's part, I would feel less blindsided. I would feel like it was all intentional. Like Keefe wasn't the only one pining for 9 books. Like Sophie wanted it just as bad as him.

like how long does it really take someone to realize they like someone?? I just find the whole thing to be unrealistic. How can Sophie be THAT unself aware? (I know the argument is that she didn't allow herself to like him bc it would put their friendship on the line but girl- it was obvious Keefe liked her and I just don't think she's that purposefully dumb.)

bro I could go on forever.

I didn't even touch on Keefe and Sophie's personalities and why I don't particularly like them as individual characters. That's a rant for another time.

im sorry! please forgive me.

[pinkpastels113]

my opinion on natla (for those of you who care lol)

spoilers ahead.

dislikes:

where is katara's fire??? they took it mostly away except for the (obligated imo) fight with pakku. like i understand that yall changed the story of her losing her mother so that she's more timid and insecure now but that was one of her main core traits. she has a passion and is reckless and sassy, and is a leader who inspires words of motivation to other benders. she is not afraid to sacrifice her life for the care and safety of others. this remake just... does not show that

pakku is no longer katara's grandmother's ex/grandfather, and did not show any plans to go to the southern tribe to help them rebuild, which i genuinely liked from the animation bc it showed that the water tribes are reuniting instead of still being separated btw the north and south (it might come later but there was no indication that it was in the works). he also does not teach katara waterbending. he just validated that she was a good waterbender and sent some kids her way to lead during the fire nation attack

aang does not have a crush on katara. it was one of the main factors that drove his character into a more goofy, relatable, and just overall likeable kid; because he is just that, a 12 year old kid. in the adaptation he is too serious, and the mutual admiration that he and katara were supposed to have of one another is more one-sided. in natla they made it seem as if... aang is a much older person trapped in a 12 year old's body dropping odd wizened quotes from Gyatso left and right about how to be the avatar and to look to the future and stuff like that, but not actually taking them into account and growing?? if that makes sense. like the show kind of took away his gradual acceptance of being the avatar and having the responsibility, through his simple coming of age moments like having a major crush on katara

the first season is completely centered around aang's guilt. he does not learn any waterbending or attempt at firebending (and being scared of it). i assume katara is going to teach him in season 2 but they could have squeezed some kind of training in between the eight episodes?

mai and ty lee are just standing there. like i'm not kidding. they don't do much but give azula an audience in her training sessions and rants about being the rightful heir. i did love ty lee's encouragement though, it was cute

but adding on to that azula does not have that... fear factor. she does not have her friends scared of her, or the fire nation people under her control/influence. at least not yet

sokka and katara enters the spirit world with aang? that was a bit confusing. i understand that the directors/writers need to speed things up a little and need to provide some backstory to sokka and katara, but they are not supposed/be able to go to the spirit world with aang. it threw me off guard

bumi confused the heck out of me. they did not have him reveal his identity at the end so the games and challenge that he had aang do in the animation was given to him in the "catch-up" (basically) of his time in the war with aang. he just seemed kind of (more so than expected) all over the place for me...

roku did not tell aang about the comet. they talked about koh and how to save sokka and katara from being forever taken by koh instead (they were captured when they were in the spirit world). i assume aang will find out about this later? but from what i wonder...

sokka is a bit too serious for me as well... i adored him for coming a long way from the sexist beliefs that he held at the beginning of book 1 in the animation, but that was basically erased in the adaptation, sooo. and i completely understand that what he experienced as a child in this adaptation should've shaped him into a more serious character but dang. it's kinda to the point were his jokes are kinda cringy

his apparent obsession with suki (which was SO cute) but then chasing after other girls immediately afterwards? yes this was portrayed in the animation and i completely expected him to be flirty and whatnot (he's my flirty sarcastic hungry boi), but why have him stare wistfully and longingly at the fan that suki gave him when he is just going to turn around and chase after random fire nation girls (the one that got them running in like ep 3)? it doesn't make sense (and kind of makes sokka seem like an asshole). the creators should not push sukka so quick and fast and hard and then 180 sokka into a playboy. pick a side pleaseee *cries* (sukka was not pushed as hard in kyoshi island in the animation so i was okay with sokka being as flirty as he was)

the kind of arguments that sokka and katara have are kind of patronizing and demeaning. it's more of a "you're such a little girl and need to grow the f up" kinda feeling instead of a "im your big bro and am trying to protect you" kinda feeling

appa does not fight at all :(( . he's just the ride. sometimes forgotten in the background

likes:

excuse me but the azula hair flip?? in her introduction?? amazing.

ty lee is so perfectly casted it's like her animation popped out into real life. the hair and clothes UGH

i cried in the zuko and iroh moments and flashbacks to their relationship/iroh's loss/zuko's burn. CRIED. it was so emotional and well done

again, zuko and iroh's relationship is so strong in this adaptation you don't even knowww. iroh has like zero bad bones in his body from the get-go it's kinda amusing T-T

THE ZUTARA SCARF SCENE

all the cast look like their characters to me. even if their core traits/personalities are changed

jet and suki. that's all i have to say

sukka kiss and initial awkwardness. i cackled when suki went *sad face* when she thought she scared sokka away

OMASHU IS BASED ON A LESBIAN COUPLE

ozai is as evil and bad and merciless as ever. also manipulative. i can get where azula gets it from

it further explains/shows the "my father trained me into the weapon he wanted me to be" for azula

june and iroh. it changed from the creepy one-sidedness in the animation lol and june gave a talk about her way of life

the graphics for the bending are so cool. zuko's fire kicks *mesmerized*

fire nation burning of people. shows really how antagonistic ozai's peeps are

freedom fighters!!

the tiny soft moment between zuko and aang when zee blue spirit saves him :DD

hating zhao as he should be hated because he's as cowardly and stupid as ever

the 41st division!! cried at that nice touch

the way zuko actually fought back and showed compassion for his father in the agni kai and how his father basically forced him to be the way he is (all angsty and conflicted and whatnot) because "compassion is weakness and here is the scar i manually burn into your face to prove you)

overall if you love zuko this is your show because other characters may have faults but they killed it with my traumatized dude with the lil scar! and his uncle!! which he is already and always super nice to!!

[cloverofhope]

I’m asking, tell us abt ur au pls

Ohohohoh gladly

putting a keep reading thing here bc this is gonna be a longish post lol

Quick backstory

Okay, so a little backstory of the au itself. It was originally a roleplay plot that I made to cheer a friend up bc he was upset about something in another roleplay chat, but the plot then was very different to what it is now. Haive didn't exist at the time, nor did most of the characters that are going to be from Haive (aka Berks equivalent.) It was originally called "The Flipped Universe" or at least that was the second version of the plot was. I genuinely cannot remember what the original version was called anymore.

An argument happend and the second version was effectively dropped before we went onto the third version which was effectively the same plot except we switched who played hiccup and boy oh boy are they a good runaway!hiccup player. Most of the times we started the roleplay it, it took place after httyd2 so I'm writing what would've happened from httyd on.

Characters that are important right noW

Clover- she's the main character in this story. She's effectively the Hiccup of Haive. She's a little bit shorter than Hiccup and doesn't grow much past her height in this part of the story. Clover has red hair that goes to about her upper back when she lets it down, and emerald green eyes that could pierce into your soul if she's pissed off. She's pretty artistic, spending any free time she can find drawing something if she's not already focused on something else. She's got a heart of gold and stubbornness to go with it. She's fairly inventive, and she has a lot of spontaneous ideas that do work a fair amount of time

Iris- She's the light fury in the cove. She lost her right tailfin. She's mostly white with spots along her back and head that are grayish purple, but they look more gray than purple. Her ears have pastel blue spots along the top. She doesn't trust easily but once you've earned her trust, there's almost nothing she won't do. She's not the most playful or chatty at first but after she meets Clover and some of the other dragons she really opens up her shell

Rollo- She's the dragon rider that Clover convinced to help. After being raised by dragons, she DOES understand Dragonese and will eventually teach most of the others in the group, one of them being too stubborn to learn. She's the most ruthless of the group in this and sometimes has to be physically held back so she doesn't hurt someone who doesn't need to be hurt. Rollo doesn't understand some traditions at first, and Clover isn't the best at explaining why things are done the way that they are. She's got black hair that's been dyed with flowers that primarily grow on Haive and on islands near it, especially at the nest Rollo grew up on. She's a little bit taller than Clover

Rou- He's the most playful and silly woolly howl anyone could meet. He loves to sing songs for those he loves and is fiercely protective of his family. He's got blue scales and his 'fluff' is a milk chocolately brown. (I'm pretty sure- Its been so long since I've seen his ref sheet lol). Him and Rollo are effectively siblings after being raised together.

Wilder- Clover's younger brother. He's about five years younger. He's a clever little guy who wants to be just like his sister when he grows up. (Or at least he will eventually lol). He's got red hair and freckles galore. He cares a lot, sometimes too much.

mm i think thats all the characters imma do for now- at least in this post- I don't need it being 5000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 characters long lol

The 'What Ifs' that this AU is based off of that don't really spoil anything

What if Toothless was a light fury instead?

What if Dragonese existed in the movie universe?

What if Hiccup and Toothless ran away before Astrid ever found out?

What if httyd was more gay?

What if hiccup had help while training toothless?

As I'm thinking- I'm realizing that most of the other 'what ifs' spoil a lot- so that's all ya get for now

Headcanons! These won't spoil much- right?

Furies bond with other species by mimicking behaviors

Light furies are great swimmers

Dragons have a whole ass culture, some things can vary from nest to nest, but most things are pretty similar

not exactly sure how to explain this one, but an alpha's command isn't like spoken words- its more a sense only a dragon can feel, and isn't something humans can possibly learn

fury eggs don't explode- nor do woolly howl eggs-

hmmm not sure what else i can add that doesn't spoil a whole lot- so enjoy this!

[butch-reidentified]

https://www.tumblr.com/butch-reidentified/719996145360830465/butch-reidentified-vaspider

i'm trans and i have issues with several of these bullet points but honestly that first one is just true and i'm genuinely at a loss about what to do ab it bc for some reason the community has decided that since we're accused falsely by transphobes, any accusation whatsoever is inherently transphobic. like, i never see these people talk about what to do if you ARE assaulted by another transfem- it's SO fucking clear the answer is 'suck it up and be quiet' and i worry that having a demographic in the community that can unilaterally not be held accountable *is* going to start drawing in creeps if it hasn't already. but if i say that, i'll be excommunicated from a community i care about and have been a part of for most of my life. like, why is it safer to say this to a fucking radfem than to my own community?

I'm really genuinely sorry to hear this. The truth is, all else aside, I've found WAY more love, support, and acceptance among radfems (even when I disagree with the majority of them on something! that's actually allowed here!) as a sex-dysphoric, happily medically transitioned person than I EVER found when I was half-heartedly slapping a gender label on myself and participating 24/7 in irl + online trans spaces and online transactivism.

I always felt so uncomfortable in trans spaces with the fact that respecting the pronouns of r-pists and abusers was always the focus of conversation over making sure we actually held such people accountable, called them out, refused to make space for them, and looked out for their victims. Even with the trans woman who was a serial abuser who primarily, like 90%, targeted trans people as her victims, the response was that all 15 or so victims who spoke out were transmisogynistic/transphobic liars - even though about half were MTF themselves, and all but one or two were trans in some manner or other. And there were photographs from injuries some victims had sustained, and many screenshots of damning things the perpetrator had said. It became more and more clear to me that when trans women were accused of sexual assault, abuse, or similar behaviors, the community was more concerned about how this might make trans people look (optics) and about making sure everyone knew that even serial r-pists and partner beaters MUST be treated as their identified gender no matter what. The focus was never on intra-community accountability or caring for victims, whether those victims were trans themselves or not. It always upset me. Idk how I tolerated it for as long as I did.

NO ONE should have to live in fear of being ostracized from their community for speaking up about abuse and/or violence. That was one of the major red flags that started pushing me away despite still considering myself trans in a material, non-ideological sense. There were many others, some of which the following paragraph sort of hints at. But if I'm being 100000% real, I realized more and more how much I was lying to myself (and as a result, to others) after I started separating from trans spaces.

As for your last question, it's safer to say this in radfem spaces because: 1. Radfems are extremely anti-abuse, anti-sexual violence, etc. no matter what. We don't just recite mantras about believing victims - we take doing so in practice very seriously. 2. Radfems encourage dissent, critical thinking, civil discourse even within radical feminism. It's easy to feel safe because you aren't walking on eggshells, constantly watching every tiny word you speak/type, terrified that you'll phrase something slightly wrong just once and lose your entire social group and support system overnight.

I find it very easy to exist within my corner of radblr. I don't have to be afraid to ask questions or not understand something. I feel genuinely supported and given room to breathe and grow in every way, especially intellectually, which I now have the clarity to realize felt so thoroughly stifled in trans spaces. I don't feel restricted or constrained, I don't feel constantly anxious. I no longer have that unsettling deep-down awareness of being disconnected from the "normie" offline world, so to speak - and since leaving Oz and returning to the normal world, my irl relationships have healed and flourished. I've also been able to be a much better friend to my trans loved ones, because they have largely been excommunicated from the "trans community" for their own "thought crimes" as well. I'm not constantly checking myself for thought crimes, and as a result, I trust myself more and am more confident in my views, thought processes, and analyses.

Your community should damn well support you. Your community should take you seriously when you speak out about abuse. I wish I could say you were an exception or an outlier, but there's a reason I have SO many trans friends who want nothing to do with the "community." I really am sorry. I see that struggle and that isolation in many of my friends and neither they nor you deserve to feel that way.

[masonscig]

what didnt you like about m’s route? to me this book’s plot was weaker than the other ones but i still really enjoyed a and m’s romances

so, disclaimer, please! do not take any of my opinions are yours being wrong! if i say i don't like something, you're not wrong for finding personal enjoyment in it! i'm being so genuine when i say i hope you had a great experience playing b3 <3

these are fresh out the oven of my mushy fucking brain bc i spent a long time reading it yesterday and passed out for 11 hrs after pushing end book

another disclaimer, i didn't read all the routes (still haven't)! it'll take me a while to get through it, so this is solely m opinions + opinions on the general plot

so, some of it is personal opinions because i have an idea for how i want my oc's relationship with mason to go, and some of it is how i feel about the route and how some parts don't quite fit m's route that well (imo). i've discussed this in depth with a few m-loving friends of mine and we agreed on some aspects that i'll lay out below:

firstly, i think that some of the romantic moments don't flow with the story – they feel out of place because the plot is so heavy (kidnapping! trafficking! it's a fucking lot)! the options to have sex are so jarring because isn't the mc traumatized? from both book 1 and 2, and the current situation they're in with kidnappings that have terrorized the community? the mc still hasn't had time to unpack a lot of their feelings and resolve issues that have just Been There For Multiple Books Now.

the romance should've taken a backseat overall imo, because both mc and m are dealing with so many heavy feelings. and the romance is there! like, a big theme with m is physicality without emotionality and the mc being the first time they've thought about more. both mc and m should've been afforded the time and the opportunity to work it out on their own AND together! there's so much they could've worked through and discussed! like... having discussions and healing is romantic relationship development yk?

a huge issue too for me is the very very very very VERY jarring and out of left field moment from m a the auction where m makes a very out of place sex joke. m would absolutely never ever ever respond that way. you're telling me m has spent the entire book internally battling feelings they don't understand, and freaking out over the mere idea of the mc being taken away from them, and their worst fear is coming true, bc the mc is literally trapped – and? they're going to make a crude sex joke? this is the ro that was quite literally, chapters before, freaking out when the ceiling fell on the mc and no questions asked, sensory nightmare be damed, stood inside the shower and platonically held onto the mc so that they could wash off? and you're telling me he's going to make a joke? it's so out of character it hurts.

i'm a huge fan of hurt/comfort, but the sex scene at the end is so misplaced – you'd think that this would've been the book where mc just. doesn't get the chance to sleep with m because they're having so many complicated feelings – and they're terrified of losing mc! it would've been so much more true to m's character that way i think. i really truly feel like this book, m has grown so much already that even if they can't recognize what their feelings exactly are, they can recognize that stepping back is a good choice for both m and the detective.

tonally, a lot of the romance is just off – i know that romance can be lighthearted (we've seen it in canon), but book 3 is just not! so many things are happening, and lots of those things are difficult for mc to process emotionally – especially the guilt that mc can feel over "being the reason kids are being kidnapped". i feel like a lot of what m-lovers enjoy about their route is the non-forced romantic aspects. there's so much that m does that makes my heart flutter without them being intentional about it – and i feel like in some places this book was lacking a lot of that unintentional stuff i've loved. and the intentional stuff... at times felt very out of place.

and also, i think that a lot of what i envision for sofía and mason just doesn't quite mesh as well as i'd want it to! i thought i had a few more points here, but honestly my brain is still mush and this is a long response and i think my brain is forcing me to tap out LMAO (these aren't all my thoughts, just a few i've been mulling over and discussing w friends today) maybe if you ask me again later i'll flesh that out more

it's less about what m does tbh for me it's more about the developmental moments feeling more forced, and way less organic than the ones in book 1 and 2 – and early book 3! for the record, there's so much i love about m's route – i just think some of it could've been better.

[stormblessed95]

Hello, I found your blog and I would like to know your opinion (English is not my native language, sorry if there are errors). I was reading some of your posts, I don't know if you already addressed this. It's something that's on my mind. I don't consider myself a shipper, but I do think that Jimin and Jungkook have a relationship beyond friendship ♡ I avoid associating with or following jkkrs not bc I don't believe in jikook but bc fighting with other shippers affects me. I am Jimin biased and insults towards him really hurt me. It's not that JK/Tae doesn't receive them and doesn't bother me, but that they show themselves differently towards hate. Jimin became more and more reserved, away from social media. And his words still resonate in my mind in Seoul PTD "I don't do / don't like fanservise" It is obvious that he must have read something, it's not a random phrase. A lot of the hate that Tae is receiving from jkkrs or pjms towards Tae/JK is because they blame them, and I won't deny I also started to get annoyed. That was another sign that I stayed away from jkkrs. My ground wire is that if Jimin isn't distant towards them why should I get mad? I trust him. My question is why not put a brake? I understand it's not their responsibility to educate the fans, but wouldn't we prevent a lot of what happens if they told these people to stop? From my point of view Vminkook should bring this up to the fans. It's a snowball that's been growing, and it doesn't seem to be ending anytime soon </3 The fact that they're not distant is a good indication that it does not affect them too much, but it worries me that many shippers are crossing limits. Harassing people like what happened with Tae and model from Paris or Polyc, tattoo artist. Am I insane for thinking so??

Yes. It is bad to put the responsibility of insane cultists or horrible shippers on the members. That's not their Job, not their responsibility and if people LISTENED to what the members SAY, then they've said and done all they should need to do. Why continue to waste their own time, and sacrifice their own mental health, for people who twist their words and call them lairs no matter what. @minggukieology posted a good break down of shipping and shipper mentality earlier today here too that someone what relates

This whole discourse is the epitome of victim blaming. Tae and JK and Jimin have been very clear about their relationships together and what they mean to each other and how they love each other and even how they grew apart and back together, all 3 have addresssed how theyve grown and changed over the years. Tae even HAS addressed it when someone confronted him directly with it. Why are you blaming THEM when people choose not to listen. It's giving "well what were you wearing?" "Are you sure you weren't asking for it?" Energy. It's not THEIR fault when rabid fans decide to harrass someone. You saw you trust them, so do that. And stop placing expectations on them to control shippers who don't actually give a fuck about the members or what they do or say. Because those shippers, who spread hatred? They just call the members liars and will always twist the narrative into whatever story pleases THEM the most. They see the members as characters in a story they want to control, rather than real life human beings who have more important things to do in their lives than address people they don't even Consider fans. Like hang out together with the friends and enjoy their life. And let the haters scream into the void and make themselves miserable. They don't owe anyone anything. And if you think that if Tae and JK and Jimin all held a press conference and said something like telling shippers to stop and that they aren't dating and that jikook are or aren't in love or all 3 have gfs or bfs outside the group or whatever, that it would actually work? You are deluding yourself. They would be called liars again, or forced by the company, or hiding to protect themselves. It wouldn't work. So why give these hateful people their mental vulnerability and energy? Wouldn't it be better to just live their lives the way they want and protect themselves that way and give each other the love THEY know is true?

Everyone who keeps demanding this from the guys has never actually thought through how it would go and is more concerned about THEIR OWN PERSONAL well being in fandom space (which they can currate) rather than the members personal well being and mental health in their own lives. Which I'm sure they do what they do to protect that and live as well as they can at the height of fame they are. You want them to address this because it will make YOU (general you) feel better in your fandom experience and your life, not because it will make vminkook feel better or make their (or the other members) lives easier.

[bandofchimeras]

one nice bpd thing is when you've been thru the idealization and devaluation swing with a new FP and held awareness w yourself and....cooled off? without doing anything nutso like declaring undying Love or trying to banish them from your life.

then you get to hang out with them. and see how they actually are as a person outside your Brain Games. and they're just, cute or nice, or kinda dorky and flawed in some charming way. and it's like OOOOOHHH the idea I had of you in my head is no match, good or bad, for the reality of your humanness in the room with me.

(long post under the read more)

in earlier stages of recovery this settling into equilibrium always gave me the ick. bc my shame was so intense for my own humanness. being human is so stinky and sticky and crusty and mundane and broken sometimes. no wonder our minds make people into gods or demons when sitting with our very vulnerable human selves is so difficult. especially if you have never fully experienced unconditionally accepting love. ideas taste better than reality.

I begin to think that my BPD is rooted in a real fear and real experiences of being abandoned for being imperfect, or not fitting someone's preconceived expectations, or disappointing them in some way. it was hard to accept this bc I have done it to people too. and it is so painful.

but now the next step is finding a new framework for how to say "no" and have boundaries and prioritize people. BESIDES "oh you aren't what I thought you were."

which is a challenge specifically along the ADHD axis of low impulse control, memory issues and generally not understanding how much work is involved in tasks or relationships.... leading to either avoidance of them, or taking on too many.

this is a genuine disability that leads to poor energy management that impacts people I my life. and if people can love me, and they do, then what's between love and us is real barriers of communication and follow through, that can hopefully be addressed.

I really can't keep going through the swing of impulsive relationships that end with abandonment or never end in a tortured half alive state of limbo. it feels impossible to fully let go of anybody or be fully with anybody and that's where the pain comes from.

I think the image instability is related to ADHD object impermanence. I have to practice manually making my brain remember people exist when we aren't in same room, or I am not hyperfixated on them. if someone isn't in the Focus Zone I can still love them but they don't get attention. which....hmm maybe I conflate with love. because of that being such a big need for me.

i wonder if anyone without this disorder overthinks their relationships to this extent, and if they don't how they manage their energy to avoid so many painful patterns???

i do wish relationships took up less space in my life too and I had more ability to lean into hobby time. The unresolved emotions & cycles around interpersonal relationships feel like big heavy magnets that take my energy away from efforts in areas that would be more meaningful. They keep me looping around in specific thought patterns and stories unable to stay in physical reality long enough to complete anything.

I wonder what genuinely falling in love would be like with a person. instead of intense attachment feelings, developing a fondness and sense of compatibility with someone over time as you also become able to trust them. They would have to really love me and have a lot of patience to stick out these mood swings and thought distortions.

But hey that has to be possible because I am a person, and I am developing the patience to love myself!

What still hurts is the question: is there someone out there who will see me and go, he's worth it!. He's worth the trouble! Someone who I also felt love for, that would chose me not based on an idea of who I am but my actual reality. So I don't have to play a role or an image for them.

it's a painful question. but I have to believe maybe it's possible, and even if not, along the way there is plenty of love from animals and trees and community, and friends that will recognize my inherent worth as I learn to.

the borderline asks to be chosen, to be special. Without qualification. But the beauty of love is that everyone always has a choice to love. It's never permanent or guaranteed.

now, how to make peace with that!!!?

this has been a post on the intersection of ADHD, OCD and BPD from my experience.

[n0tamused]

Hellooo hon can i request pls? Can u write for tobirama a one shot where he rejects his s/o but then he sees her with another guy in the village often and starts to realize about hia feelings but its late bc she is marrying this other guy? I need some angst hahahah. Its ok if you don't want to write it! Thank you 😘

A/N: Hello anon, thank you for the request! Here's some Tobirama angst. It made me sad to write this but here we are. The things we do for angst. Hope you enjoy.

Warnings: none. Just pure sadness.

Words: Around 1.475

' The Fire Which Didn't Burn '

-"No. I do not love you."

Those words echoed in your mind days after his initial rejection. Over and over again until it was all you could think about. It stung your heart each time you repeated the sentence. The never ending feeling that it was something you did wrong wrecked your mind, it made work harder and rest scarce for a while. You didn't understand. You were sure he felt at least some semblance of love for you, in the end you were the one he truly did let in his company. One he could rely on for anything that he may need. Or did you read the signs that wrong? At that point it wouldn't be a surprise if it was all for business sake, seeing as you both worked together on making the village prosper and bloom.

But that was almost an whole year ago. Even more. Since then you have moved on from the heart ache. Although a few select close friends knew of your pain, you never indulged them with your gloomy moods that came and went. It was a tendency you seemed to pick up from the younger Senju and the years you spent at his side. Not letting anyone really in. Only letting them scratch the surface of it, to know enough to leave you be.

It has been a whole year since the last time Tobirama had spent proper time with you, a whole year since you both sat down to unwind and discuss things amicably. At the confession of your feelings for him he was rather cold, cooly brushing you off and trying to get back into his work. He didn't feel like it was such a big deal then, he believed that it didn't matter as long as you both still remained a good bond. But he was proven wrong. You recoiled from his reach and even disappeared from his sight. His ears seldomly heard of you anymore. It was as if you disappeared from the village all together. Even if he saw traces of your work, your signatures and reports. It was all superficial.

At first this didn't bother Tobirama much, even if he was initially worried about your lack of communication with him. The man was simply so drowned in his work to take some kind of action, to do anything to smooth things over with you again. On certain days, when work was lesser, he would indulge himself in things he did with you once. Only then feeling the effects, the weight on his shoulders due to your absence. There was no more of your reasoning voice, no more laughter, no more endless teasing when the two of you were alone, no more long nights where the two of you shared your worries and even fears. There was none of it. Only distant memories.

As stubborn as he was, he would finally come to terms that he, in the very least, missed you greatly. That he should've done something sooner. Now he felt embarrassed to even try after so long had already passed.

Tobirama had recently started to seek out information about you. Head full of things, horrible things. Were you alright now? Have you moved on?

As it turns out, yes you were alright and yes...you have moved on. You were still working as a ninja, so how you managed to keep out of his sight so much and for so long surprised the silver haired Senju. And when word reached him that you were getting married soon. He was...he didn't know how to feel, actually. You had found another man to love and share your burdens and future with. He had spotted the pair of you once in the village, walking peacefully side by side. Hand and fingers entwined together. You pressing into his side once to give him a quick hug. Him smiling down at you, a genuine, earnest smile which you reflected back just the same. It made Tobirama ill. A deep, gut wrenching feeling over took him so much that he wanted to bolt. As unlikely as that was for him.

Perhaps this was karma. You were his most trusted friend. You understood him at best and at worst times, and you dealt with him when he was being difficult. You were with him at his side even when his brother got fed up with his arrogance. The amount of times you sat at the stairs on his porch, waiting for him to cool off were countless; even your company alone was salve enough. And not to even mention your beauty, you were the rare one that really caught Tobirama's eye, like no other woman has before. And yet, he pushed you away. Perhaps this was his punishment. The maker gave him a chance, a chance to be happy and content and have someone with him and he let it fall and shatter to the floor. Tobirama could only scowl, and he found himself in a sour mood ever since.

He wouldn't admit it but his heart was aching. Was this how you too felt?

-"Tobirama!"

You exclaimed. Shock written all over your features, the basket of fruit, fish and vegetables hooked onto your elbow. Neither of you knew what to say at first. Tobirama was just as shocked as you, regretting not using his sensory abilities to sense you and turn in another direction. Now that you two ran into each other his tongue felt dry.

Your breath stopped in your throat as you searched his eyes, his face for anything that could indicate some sort of reaction. Yet the only thing you found in his scarlet gaze was yearning, and then emptiness once he collected his racing thoughts.

"Y/N. It.. it has been a while."

He spoke, clearing his throat while his heart felt as if it was going to burst out of his chest. The clothes he wore suddenly felt suffocating and scolding. A tangible tension grew between the two of you.

"Yes. It has been...How have you been doing? I surely hope you are getting some proper rest, I heard there was quite a scuffle recently."

Trying to keep the conversation average failed. A frown became prominent on his lips as he only nodded, in a almost mechanical fashion, but didn't respond to the question. You caught his gaze flickering, only for a second, down to your ring finger. Where the silver ring was. A small gem held on the top of it. And you understood, in a way.

"Oh..."

A wind breezed past the two of you, but it didn't feel comforting. It felt chilling and hot and dry all at the same time, like raking hands that clung to the both of you. If you were paying just a little more attention to the Senju, you would've seen the sadness collect in his eyes. Even if his face remained cold and unreadable. His eyes gave it all away.

The conversation ended rather awkwardly with both of you wishing each other well and saying your goodbyes. So many things were left unsaid then. It wouldn't take Tobirama long after that quick encounter to really admit it to himself that he has grown feelings for you, that he was in love. Realizing a year too late. A year he wished he could get back so he could be with you instead of that man. A year that could make it all better, for the both of you. But no matter how many sleepless nights he had, no matter how much he wished and even prayed, he couldn't take your happiness away. He couldn't even dare do such a thing, couldn't dream of it.

Sometimes you would even worm your way in his dreams, his mind visualizing a future he knew he couldn't have. A happy one with you at his side, in a house different from the one he was in now, with enough space for the both of you and even another addition. No matter how much he dreaded those dreams, he let himself drown in the comforts of them even if for a moment. Letting himself experience what could have been. The phantom touches and plush kisses that soon turned to dust in his mouth when he woke. The image of you still dancing vividly in front of his sleep hazed eyes.

Other times he even found himself crying in those dreams, angry, bitter and regretful tears. Clinging onto you in his dreams, pleading to not wake up yet to make it all better. It pained him. That he couldn't have you anymore. You were now married to someone, and that someone wasn't him.

Tobirama saw how happy you were, genuinely. And he wasn't going to take it away just because of his own mistakes.

Now it was his turn to share the pain you went through. He accepted it all. It was now his responsibility. His mistakes.

[duckugou]

the blood on our hands

bakugou x gn!reader

aged up!

cw: a n g s t as hell. comfort. cursing, mentions of drinking, smoking, etc. alluding to depression and anxiety. dealing with trauma of missions and losing people. a ton of mentions of blood

this is a heavy topic in the hero universe i imagine- and generally in the mental health world of it all.

lyrics are from purple flowers by ande estrella which hold a very important meaning that has nothing to do with this- they just worked with the story. But fr go listen to it bc its so good.

come to my asks to be a part of my taglist! just let me know what kinds of fics/ what fandom/ what characters/ etc you want to be tagged in! Requests are open!!

------------------------------------------------

reality is heavy and loud

Spacing out was more than being distracted to Y/n. Being a young hero meant stressful situations, overbearing management, tight spaces, stuffy meetings, and so much... blood. It takes a toll on a young person. Of course they wanted to be a hero- wouldn't chose anything else. They grin and bear this shit for a reason- to save and help people.

But god, who saves the heros?

but white has the privilege of washing machines to wash out the stains from their comfortable jeans

Some nights, after wrap-up meetings, everything was a bit too heavy. The usual group of friends and young heroes would choose someone's house to go to in order to destress.

For some, that was smoking. For some, it was drinking, video games, napping, venting, sitting outside alone yet with company. And for some it was merely listening to everyone else.

Not having to make a decision. Not having to be responsible. That's what y/n picked every time.

Bakugou would always notice them alone in the corner of the room. They were the one to come up with destress gatherings after hard missions. Bakugou knew it was so they wouldn't be alone with their thoughts. That's why he would always step in at times like as get them to talk, so those thoughts dont stay trapped in their head.

"Hey." Bakugou muttered, sitting on the floor next to y/n in Denkis apartment.

"Hey."

"You good, dude?" Bakugou asked with genuine concern.

He was always a bit nicer to Y/n. Nobody knew why, yet everyone knew why. They both were fragile and chose to hide it during the day, being strong around others to not raise red flags.

"I'm okay...just. That one was bad. I almost lost that kid. Like she almost fucking- died in my arms." Y/n choked out.

"Hey hey hey, its okay. You got her to the ambulance in time. You did that shit. You always do. You're the best in the game at comforting little twerps." Bakugou attempted to comfort them- somewhat succeeding and holding their head against his chest.

One time, Y/n mentioned that they held kids against their chest during rescues to calm their heartbeat. "If you listen to a calmer heartbeat, you're more likely to try to match it and slow your own down." Of course you wouldn't think Y/n would be able to have a calm heartbeat during a rescue, but they are very talented at controlling their nerves. Part of being a hero.

wiping the blood off their hands to their thighs, wearing the blood of the people who've died

Y/n subconsciously calmed down a bit, Bakugou's ability to remember every word that drips off of Y/n's lips paying off.

"I know. I just can't stop...thinking about everyone I've- we've lost. Its so unfair."

"I know. Hey, you have- uh. Lets go to the bathroom." Bakugou noticed a smudge of blood on Y/n's face and a bit on their hands. Cleaning up was the last thing on their mind earlier on.

"Ok."

Taking each other's hands, they walked into the bathroom. Bakugou sat Y/n on the counter, turning on the sink and grabbing a cloth.

"O-oh god. Thats fucking blood. I thought I washed my h-hands." Y/n began panicking, causing Bakugou to put their hands under the water with soap, washing it all off for them.

Tears mixed with the water from the sink and Bakugou stayed silent. Wiping their face, Bakugou looked into Y/n's eyes. These two have just always known.

They know what people can hide. What secret messages the body language of a person can hold. And he let them grip onto the back of his shirt as he held them in his arms, Y/n not being able to cry anymore and just breathing in his scent from his shoulder.

but dont let the purple flowers fool you

"Listen. We're going to get through this one. I know its hard on you- all of the families involved. But you- we saved them. We're all here for each other right? I'm here for you." Bakugou pulls Y/n back a little to look into their eyes. "You are the strongest one here. I know it fucking hurts. I know it is so...scary-" He sniffles a little, letting his own emotions take over. Something only he did when they were alone together. "- but we're heroes. And human. We are allowed to feel pain and sadness and disappointment- but we're heroes for a reason, right? We can handle this shit."

"I know we can. We always have. Just... promise you'll never leave me?"

"Youre so stupid. I've been more careful lately." He scoffs, wiping tears from his face. He of course knew that Y/n was referring to a few weeks ago when Bakugou got too caught up in the mission and was almost crushed by debris. He was pulled away in time by a fellow hero but it still opened his eyes, as well as Y/n, to how fragile they are, even if they are the heroes.

"I know Kats, but please. You're my rock in here. You're my person." Y/n says looking into his eyes.

"And you're my person. I can't leave you behind. You wouldn't know what to do without me here." Bakugou chuckles, earning a shove from Y/n.

"Katsuki." Y/n starts, holding his hands in their own.

"Yeah." He sighs.

"I don't speak lightly of feelings, you know that right?"

"Of course I know that. You don't talk much about those to anyone-"

"Except you." They interrupt Bakugou, reminding him of the importance of their unspoken bond and making his heart race.

"Yeah."

"Then you'll know how hard it is for me to say this. But- Katsuki I think I love you. I know we aren't super affectionate outside of being alone but- I've never felt what I feel with you before. I understand if you don't feel the same way and if this was all just because you felt bad but I needed to tell you that because you're really important and this is very import-"

Bakugou, in the most cliche turn of events, cuts Y/n off with a kiss to shut them up.

Pulling away, Bakugou rests his forehead on Y/n's .

"I love you too. I thought that was obvious when I never stopped you from saying my first name, idiot." He chuckles lightly.

"I kinda figured you at least liked me-"

"I'm going to keep you safe forever. That means physically and emotionally. No more hiding any feelings from me just because there are people around. Pull me aside. Hold me if you need or want to- I dont care if the whole world sees that. But just- fuck Y/n. I know you feel fragile. I know what it's like to be scared and hide it. I'm your diary now, ok? Always."

"Thank you...Katsuki. Fuck. You're everything I've ever needed. Plus youre kinda cute too I suppose." Y/n giggles.

"Oi fuck off." Bakugou kisses them again, relieved that he can finally be himself with Y/n, that he has them finally.

"I'm your diary too them, okay? I mean it. Anything, any time, say the word." Y/n says lightly, squeezing Bakugou's hand.

"Fuck. I love you."

"I love you too. I love how that sounds coming from you by the way."

"Me the fuck too-" Bakugou was interrupted by a loud yelling-

"I GOTTA PISSSSSS" followed by banging on the door.

"MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T DRINK SO FAST THEN LIGHT WEIGHT!" Bakugou responds, recognizing the voice of Denki.

"DONT MAKE FUN OF MEEEE I'LL LAUGH AND PEE MYSELF" Denki whined.

"Let's go, angel." Bakugou whispers into Y/n's hair, kissing them on the head and helping them off of the counter.

[rahleeyah]

Kathy was a good bean. She told Dory to take care of herself after Dory held her at knife point!

Ok no that's the thing, right, is that Kathy is just genuinely so decent. We don't see her trying to pull Elliot away from the work or complaining, really; we see one moment early on where he is refusing to talk to her about what's bothering him, just sitting on the couch moping and being very clearly miserable and choosing not to confide in his wife and she asks him if he talked to Liv about it, which always felt to me less like an accusation of impropriety and more like pointing out that he's capable of talking and simply won't. And this!!! Her husband's work infiltrates her home and threatens her life when she's pregnant and she responds with kindness. She's wry, and warm, teases her husband and calls him out when he needs it. Supports him when he needs it. Listens to Liv, trusts Liv. She gets fucking blown up and tells Liv sorry I ruined your ceremony like she's trying to keep things light even when she's actively dying. She talks about Elliot and Olivia's relationship like she's glad he had somebody watching out for him. All of this, to me, makes Kathy a really compelling character bc most of the time that role would be nagging, or accusing, or angry, and Kathy is just sort of. Quietly understanding. Doing her best to make it all work.

Which is why the letter works imo and why I do not see it as a cruelty, but instead as Kathy trying to give them both a chance to find some closure and come back together as friends. To smooth out the hurt of the past, to let them both move forward. Kathy is just. Kathy is a really good character.

[phoebehalliwell]

i think one of the other times that charmed (in my opinion) dropped the ball was with christie. making christie half of the big bad they were meant to defeat was a choice and not a good one. the implications of taking a character was abducted as A CHILD and brainwashed into believing the sisters were evil and then instead of oh i don't know redeeming her in the end have her own sister kill her was just fucked up in every way

fr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! fr billie INCINERATED her OWN SISTER!!! they made her do that!!!!!!!!!????????? what the fuck????? they like. like. they like. What were they trying to do there. it's like the same thing with richard like i get it's conflict but like genuinely what is the fucking point. like. like if you want to do shady double agent shure i get that it can be fun n sexy bestie behavior one minute and then evil conniving the next. but like. not with a child soldier??? like christy is constantly manipulated and it's like oh she didn't accept us as her home and safety in one week after being psychologically tortured for two decades. lucy liu screencap tear the bitch apart!!!!!!!!!!! like??? i mean they didn't even bother to make her truly evil she was doing all this to protect billie to protect her little sister AND THEN SHE WAS BURNED ALIVEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK. unbelievable. imo tho. i do think the writers were biting off way more than they could chew with girl who was raised by demons after being kidnapped at age nine and now she's like. twenty three. that is way too complex to like. like if you're really gonna dig into the meat of the matter and flesh out exactly what life was for her than you could literally make her kind of her own little ya protagonist like. i'm spitballing but like. she's kidnapped from a very young age and like i remember being that young i was still kinda a spitfire so she's like no no no i gotta get home idk bc this is the triad's doing but they're trying to stay very severed from the operation so they're having some lame ass demon tribe take care of it but like they're not really. it's very much we have kidnapped you now it's time to learn to use your powers for violence like this kid would Not be game and she'd probably try to escape a whole bunch so the triad are like okay shift gears so they get a figure like cole's mom (or it could straight up be cole's mom if we feel so inclined) with a son born from a human so he looks human so she’s already raising one magical powerful kid (who could also end up later being a love interest for christy) and she like. goes to the demon clan and sees how christy's being treated and is like what the fuck is wrong w u and vanquishes all them and is like hi little christy are you okay like were those guys being evil and mean come w me which would be a move strategically done by the triad to tie up all the loose ends of that fail demon clan and also position our demon mom demom as an ally. so christy goes to live with her in her like little demon manor ideally still in the underworld and demom's like so how did you get here are you alright and christy's like i was kidnapped!! they took me away from my family!! and demom's like okay well let's get u back to ur family and they go but oh what's this?? the jenkins family is actually So Much Better Off!! oh no! they look happier without you :( is it because they were afraid of your powers, afraid of you, afraid of something they couldn't understand? no matter, let's go ring the doorbell. oh what's that? u don't want 2 :( aww that's so sad. well, i guess... no, it's just a silly offer really...... but.... if u want.... u can stay w me in my hella nice rich person house and learn how to hone your powers at your own pace not like the killing machine those demons tried to force you to be but instead lived under my protection someone who is not scared of u and who only has your best intentions at heart..... bonus round if billie has a burn scar from christy accidentally lighting her on fire, some extra trauma. so christy is raised basically as demon royalty idk give her some background relationships oh so bonus points if the charmed ones vanquish demom that gives her motive against but just friends and allies in the underworld and when she finds billie again billie's like. let's say in the demon mansion like rooting around because these people took my sister when christy confronts her like hey bitch better gtfoutta my house and billie's like fight!!! and they go toe to toe for a good scene til something happens and billie's burn scar is revealed and christy realizes it's her baby sister and immediately like. complete shift. vulnerability immediately and billie's like what the fuck until christy says her full name (wilhelmina? do u think? willow? elizabeth? middle name something like. outta left field a maiden name like buchanan or rochester) and it's just like. sisters<3. but then there's conflict because hey you were happier without me and billie's like no?? no we were fucking not omg why would you think that?? and christy's like no i saw you and billie's like no that must have been a lie demons lie that woman who raised you she was evil she was the worst of the worst and christy's like hey like you know wait because she was my family she was all i had and she loved me (& for what it's worth, i think she did) so there's this conflict of the world christy knows which is filled with deception but real emotion versus the world outside which is true but is so empty to her. but this is s8 we're phoning it in we're not doing all that. which, then, of course, leaves you w the other alternative of she escaped from the demons very young and has been living like the early seasons of supernatural constantly on the run outside the law fighting forces she doesn't understand with two fist fire and a kickass attitude and then she reunites with billie and there's like of a more interpersonal conflict because billie's grown into a much more independent individual and she's already hella powerful and honestly seems to know more about the craft than christy but christy's being doing this a lot longer and she's survived a hell of a lot worse so there's no way she's gonna let her little kid sister but herself in harms way and billie's like no stop trying to baby me like i can handle myself and christy's like no not a goddamn chance in hell. the reason they're the "key" to the ultimate power is bc it can only be held by one. the other dies to grant the person that ability. that is why they never bothered to take both sisters. instead they put a marker of death on billie, something they now have to both fight to remove

[curiosity-killed]

Hi....If you don't mind me asking, who are your favorite MXTX characters (top 5 from each novel)? And why? I'm sorry if you've answered this question before.

Aw of course I don’t mind! Though I feel like my answer is going to be a disaster bc I love these casts so so much aha let’s see:

✨ SPOILERS AHEAD ✨

MDZS/CQL

1. Wei Wuxian

Ah so I feel like this is obvious based on the sheer quantity of things I produce and the effort I put into hurting him 😅 but yeah! I love how much of a classical tragic hero he is and I love how much love he has and how that gets twisted around and shaped into a collar of spikes around his own neck. I saw gif sets of wwx before I ever knew about CQL and my reaction was “fuck. I’m going to love him” and I do! And I love that he does learn from his past and I love most of all that he learns to accept the love he is given and is able to make a happy ending in a place of being loved and held in respect and appreciation

2. Wen Qing

On the other hand, I did not expect to be like “mine now” with Wen Qing. Don’t get me wrong, the sexy immortal look got me but it wasn’t really till I started writing fic that I was like ohhhhh Oh Boy. Wen Qing is brilliant and ruthless, fiercely loving and aloof and cold. I love that she gets the lose-lose challenge of balancing what is right for her family vs what is right in the world, what she owes to her sect and what she owes to individuals. The golden core transfer is my favorite dubious science experiment in p much all media I’ve consumed. She gets to be so human—prickly and tough and also achingly gentle and afraid and putting on a tough face and sometimes still crying. “I’m sorry and thank you” ! Im!!

3. Jiang Yanli

The first fic I wrote for this fandom was literally “Jiang Yanli died no she didn’t” lmao I do feel like I underserve Jiang Yanli in that I often fall prey to using her to further the complexity that the male characters are permitted while denying her the chance to be given the same space for development and breath — something to work on! But in that, I really genuinely love how tightly she binds herself to her family and how she tries so hard to be what others need her to be—and then she does make a choice for herself and for a single moment at least, she gets to be loved and to be happy and to have this, a husband and a son and a place, for herself. And terribly I love how much she permeates the story still after death. She is the unspoken voice, the face turned from the camera but always still present, carried in the hearts and names and memories of the ones left behind

She deserved better but—I am weak for the tragedy of it all

4. Jiang Cheng

Another surprise (tho hardly surprising in hindsight): Jiang Cheng is just...horribly understandable. He makes terrible choices and his greatest heroism is undone by a choice made for him or, in the case of “killing the Yiling Laozu” is a lie. He is such a youngest sibling who doesn’t want to be the youngest until all at once, he’s the one in charge and he doesn’t want it at all. He is full of anger and hurt and so much love he doesn’t know what to do with it, doesn’t want it anymore, has no place to put all of its terrible, overwhelming flood.

5. Lan Wangji

I almost didn’t put Lan Wangji or Jiang Cheng on here and then I realized that this is sort of a list of characters I’m pickiest about in fic and...yeah. I think what I love best about Lan Wangji is his journey of grief and healing and through that, his decision to step into world. Where Wei Wuxian’s decision to travel and be removed from the cultivation world (in varying degrees depending on your headcanon preference lol) is really, really important to me, Lan Wangji’s decision to go from being an isolated lone agent working apart from the systems of the world to being involved and invested in changing those systems and working to make them better is also really important to me. I’ve talked before about how relatable Lan Wangji is to me (esp with regards to our interaction with the outer world) and there is something deeply hopeful and comforting about post-timeskip Lan Wangji being in his like mid-/late-30s and still making decisions and growing and changing and choosing to invest himself in the world and the future

yeah. i have thoughts here that I don’t really have the maturity, life experience, or articulation to put into words but Lan Zhan Good basically

TGCF

1. Xie Lian

suuuurpriiiiise!! Yeah honestly mxtx’s mains in TGCF and MDZS really just hit all my buttons basically. What appeals to me most of all about Xie Lian is, fittingly, how he is humanity taken to extremes. His capacity for incredible kindness and compassion is equaled with his capacity for cruelness and ruthlessness. His heaven-shaking highs are matched with calamitous lows. He is the hyperbolic of what it is to be human—and he is also the small moments, the wildflowers and the maple leaves and the mundane chores and the comfort of whispered conversations late into the night. I could quite literally go on for pages about what I love about Xie Lian but I am not Hua Cheng and can restrain myself LMAO

2. Hua Cheng

of all the characters on these lists, Hua Cheng is the one I’m pickiest about tbh! When I say I love him for similar reasons as Xie Lian I don’t actually mean this as being similarities between the two but the fact that both of them so richly convey mxtx’s points about the nature of humanity and what it is to be human. Hua Cheng is both the boldest and most arrogant of all and also the most vulnerable, the one who shies away from the truth because he’s braced for it to hurt and isn’t sure he can take it. He is gory blood rain and an umbrella to shelter a fragile bloom; he is a blade whose wounds only heal if he permits it and he is a sacrifice that he brushes aside as a fit of madness. *pats his head* this boy can fit SO MUCH inside him that he refuses to acknowledge

3. Jun Wu

Definitely my favorite antagonist in recent reading. I was doubtful of him from the start (something something issues with authority something something probably should talk to my theoretical future therapist shhh) but the unfolding of his reveal was so delightfully painful and exquisite that I was like “YES!!!” reading all of it. About the epitome of a satisfying plot twist imo. But about the character himself, I love how he parallels so many — Xie Lian in his rise and fall, his glory and disgrace; Hua Cheng in his fixation and ruthlessness; He Xuan in losing himself to the plot and not knowing how to move forward. I love that he feels beyond human in a way the others don’t—he’s so old and has gone through so much and he doesn’t feel things the way humans do anymore, doesn’t remember right how love squeezes the heart or how hate can exist without acting on it. I love that he thinks he knows how to control everyone and that it’s such mundane things that fool him: Xie Lian’s absurd stubbornness, Hua Cheng’s foolish faith, Yin Yu’s...emotional maturity??? Not Sure how to verbalize that one. But in the end, he is defeated by both the humanity of others and by his own—he’s so tired. He’s exhausted in a way that gods and ghosts aren’t meant to be. He is, under the armor and the masks, the curses and the power, human—benevolent and cruel, evil and good.

4. He Xuan

I love my fish man! No but really I love how He Xuan is so fixed on his one goal that he refuses to acknowledge anything else in his (after)life—which doesn’t make it go away. I love that he is left unmoored, purposeless through the very act of completing that which gives him purpose. I love his long con and the ways he clings to himself but loses himself not in the act but in the telling himself it’s an act. I love that he tries to be a moral man and then becomes a ghost king, a calamity. His reveal is also terribly badass and I do love his bone fish wholly unironically. Like I’m not going to get a He Xuan tattoo (for one thing I’ve been meaning to get a tattoo for 5 years and still haven’t gotten around to it) but also. B o n e f i s h

5. Mu Qing

Of course! The Jiang Cheng of tgcf lol Mu Qing (which my phone desperately wants to autocorrect to my Qing) is so...gah he’s such a mess! And he so fully commits to the belief that no one will ever see and understand him as he is but will always view them through their own convictions about him and his actions — which is simultaneously heartbreakingly lonely and also. Sir You Are a Clown. I genuinely think he’s owed apologies from both Feng Xin and Xie Lian for their treatment and assumptions of him and think that he would be HORRIBLY offended at the thought (while secretly touched? But like secretly even to himself). He will never explain himself and will just clam up tighter the more people accuse him and it’s such a self-sabotaging behavior and also so horribly relatable. I love u sir, you’re a disaster

SVSS I have not read but I do really like the moshang art 😂

[kokkuri3]

IM SURE people already sent you Vince for ask thing SO fuck him! Ada, Leo, Sharon and Xerxes one or all of them I don't care lol

You know Anon when you sent this in fact not a single person had sent Vince.

I'm gonna go w Ada bc the other ones got their own asks and I like her more than Sharon

favorite thing about them:

Genuinely one of the most strong and thoughtful characters in Pandora Hearts despite being so minor and I really do love her for how much she cares for others and how effective she is in responding to them. She's just a wonderful kind person and I love how the narrative uses her to establish that kindness or innocence isn't at all a weakness in character and she's another character who makes the active choice to be forgiving and full of love even at great personal cost.

least favorite thing about them:

Damn this bitch really does not have an arc outside of her shitty boyfriend huh which sucks bc Ada has so much going for her !!! The whole "I much prefer Onii-chan the way you are now" scene is one of my favorites... Her friendship with Gil is Very Cute... she wanted to be friends with Elliot and Leo... The drama involving her father... There's so much but we only really get to see her interact with Vincent outside of a few scenes :(

favorite line:

"If you want to disappear, give your life to me! I'll show you all kinds of delights you have yet to experience! I'll make you feel glad you were born!"

Pandora Hearts voice suicide bad universe good I love you :)

brOTP:

She and Gil !!! They are cute :) Gil doesn't have a whole lot of friends and basically none during the ten year timeskip aside from Break/Vince who are . Well. Except apparently keeping contact with Ada which couldn't have been easy since they lived in enemy houses and also Ada was 8 when he left. I like their dynamic of just being intensely fond of each other while having no romantic interest I like the emphasis PH puts on platonic m/f relationships. They got to miss Oz together

OTP:

Noise and Ada should be gfs bc I really do see two same gender foils and be like oh my good God they should kiss.

Seriously though in my ideal version of Pandora Hearts Noise still realizes she was never attracted to Vincent but THEN she goes and you know what? Ada hot and they kiss once and then she still dies bc tbh I'm not sure how to end her/Echo's arc differently.

But uh basically I think since it's meant to be understood that Noise and Vincent exist in toxic parallel while Ada runs perpendicular to them both I see no reason why Ada couldn't become invested in Noise the way she had in Vincent, particularly with the context that Noise's arc was about overcoming her internalized misogyny/comphet (as opposed to Vincent who... Was a man.) In many ways Ada is supposed to exist as a direct challenge to all of Vincent's previously held convictions (PARTICULARLY his misogyny) and well. I think Noise deserves her more than Vincent does. They'd be so much better for each other than either would be with Vincent.

nOTP:

VinceAda which I dislike intensely as a ship but in a weird way. I like both characters quite a bit individually a lot of their interactions are either very funny or very touching their dynamic is interesting I post about them a lot.

But it doesn't change the fact that Vincent is a misogynist and a predator who behaves in a very... Rape-y manner towards her early in their relationship. Ada is an adult but she's only just barely an adult and she's still in high school while Vincent self identifies as 23 which is creepy as hell. And then just... Not to draw attention away from the fact that Ada is definitely the exploited party in the power dynamic but Vincent associates her with the image of his abuser to the point of becoming physical with her during a flashback and it's just... It's not cute it's just unhealthy and sad.

I do feel like the narrative understands their relationship is unhealthy. In the True End where we're supposed to understand that things worked out Well Enough but in a realistic manner Vincent breaks up with her and then fucking fakes his death to stop her from trying to contact him again. I think this is an important and positive part of his development and I'm glad he acknowledged that the best thing he could do for his victims would be to separate himself from them and seek to improve himself on his own but the narrative still acts like it was the job of a teenaged girl to reform a predatory man in his 20s which is !! Not great miss Mochijun !!!

random headcanon:

I like to think during the 100 year timeskip she became something of a polymath ala Ada Lovelace who I like to think is her namesake tho I doubt it. She seems like she'd be the type to really enjoy writing horror short stories and submitting them anonymously to literature magazines. She also seems like the type to invent computers because she felt like it. Fuck it

unpopular opinion:

She's not stupid in the slightest she's just kinda scatterbrained. She knows what she's doing she just overestimates her ability to do it.

song i associate with them:

Bokura wa Minna Imi Fumei (Nobody Makes Sense)

favorite picture of them:

[medschoolash]

Not trying to start anything, but I'm wondering how HE breaking up means anything for KH given the fact that the reason HE broke up is bc how violent Elijah is. Klaus has been way more violent towards Hayley & others, so I really don't see it going in that directions especially when the writers specifically said that Elijah's violence/violence towards Hayley was the reason they broke them up

Honestly I’m glad you sent me this anon.

Ever since Friday there has been such a gross oversimplification of Julie’s quote and what happened in the episode floating around so let me address this.

1. Hayley didn’t just break up Elijah because he is violent. She admitted that she is a monster as well, that she has done bad things….the problem is that the violence that Hayley experienced week before last is the fundamental core of who Elijah Mikaelson is. This is an exact quote from the episode where she goes through the red door. This nature is the core of his being, which means that Elijah is almost completely unchangeable. THAT’s the root of the statement Hayley is trying to make by letting him go. Elijah isn’t just violent, he’s violent at his core and he can not be any other way as evidenced by his progressively bad behavior. It started with sending davina to her death, then progressed to killing Marcel his own nephew, both of which she forgave even tho it contradicted things she had previously said about family and friendship. Then it progressed to him thinking about killing children the same age as hope to save Klaus, then it progressed to him actually killing 4 teenage girls on a whim. He also told Marcel he would end him for no other reason besides he felt that Klaus’s love for him was a weakness. Elijah is inherently unhinged, he has nothing there to ground his monster any more since it was only kept in check all this time by Klaus’s monster and Hayley finally realizes this. The violence he has perpetrated against her and other people can no longer be ignored for the sake of a love that she is coming to realize was rooted In fear at a vulnerable time in her life and a broken childhood.

2. The brutality Hayley experienced traumatized Hayley VERY badly. People want to gloss over this because it was in Elijah’s “mind” but she experienced every second of that beating. It wasn’t a dream, it wasn’t a hallucination, it actually happened. She experienced more trauma at his hands than she has ever experienced from a man. He banged her head against a pole repeatedly, terrorized her in the woods as she screamed for help, choked her, hit her, body slammed her, tossed her against a tree like a rag doll, fed from her, and nearly killed her if not for her 7 year old intervening. To sit her and say that anything Klaus has done to her compares to that is just a misrepresentation of the truth. We know Klaus has done bad things to Hayley, the main two being when he choked her in season 1 and cursed her at the end of season 2, but Klaus has never brutalized Hayley in that manner before. Hayley has never experienced the sorta terror she experienced behind the red door at the hands of Klaus.

3. Timing is relevant here. It’s the most relevant thing when dissecting Julie’s quote about it….Elijah JUST brutalized Hayley a week ago, on the TO timeline it’s prolly only been days. She is very correct that if you subject a woman to that type of brutality at the hands of a romantic partner you can not in good conscious continue to lean into that idea that what they have is “love” and that it can just continue on. To have a woman who says repeatedly that even tho she is not perfect she does not want to invite depraved violence into her life and her child’s life just up and gloss over what happened to her with Elijah and what she now knows he’s capable of doing you set a TERRIBLE narrative for a female character. Carina had to explain this over and over again on twitter but Hayley hasn’t been perfect, she’s been selfish, violent, but SHE’S TRYING TO DO BETTER. She wants to do better. To have that be her narrative for the entire season and part of her narrative from the very beginning then have her be brutalized by her romantic partner and just continue on with their love story like it’s nothing would have been a disgrace to everything they have ever established about Hayley as a character and would have displayed a very ugly idea that a man can whoop your ass and then tomorrow it’s no big deal because “love”. She can’t fix him, it’s not her responsibility to do so either, and he’s pretty much unfixable, so what choice did they really have after making Elijah brutalize her. If you’re in that writers room as a woman it’s hard to look at that and say “but they love each other so we can’t tear them apart” at some point you have to love your female character enough to give her some growth and have her stay true to her beliefs as a woman and a parent. That’s what they did with Hayley. After seasons of brushing over the sad root of her affection for Elijah, after making her contradict herself over and over to hold on to this unfulfilling love, it sadly just couldn’t continue after is escalated to her traumatic experience behind the red door.

4. Nothing I’ve mentioned applies to Hayley’s current dynamic with Klaus, and nothing Julie said does either which is why this idea that “well Hayley doesn’t want violence so she can’t want Klaus later either” is laughable. Klaus Mikaelson hasn’t been in a violent situation with Hayley since 3x02, during which he was not her romantic partner. Klaus isn’t a depraved violent man at his core even if he is a monster, it’s actually been established that Klaus has always been much more gentle compared to his other siblings and has hardened over time. I can almost guarantee you that if Klaus was to be trapped in his own mind he wouldn’t find refuge in the darkest most depraved place of his subconscious. His core being is not the same as who Elijah is at his core which is why Klaus actually has the capacity to change and actually has done so. Klaus ahas shown progressive growth as a person over the series ESPECIALLY in his relationship with Hayley. He went from being unable to let her in early on to confiding in her about his turmoil while he was held captive, he went from trying (and failing) to control her giving her the utmost respect and autonomy, he went from believing he needed to bully his way into her life to being her true partner in every sense of the word. Klaus is doing the same thing as Hayley, something Elijah can not/has been unwilling to do which is accept your past but try to do better. Hayley herself has shown appreciation to Klaus this season for doing things that makes hope life less chaotic because she knows is hard he’s been a mess for 1000 years and change is hard for anyone but she sees he loves his daughter, he respects and cares die her, and he’s trying his best to be who she and hope needs him to be. These are two people who have had some rough times with each other, but Hayley has held Klaus accountable for every bad deed he has done towards her, she has challenged him to do better, even went as far as walking away from him when she felt he was a threat to the life she wanted for herself and hope and every time Klaus has rose to the occasion and changed. He has corrected his behavior, he has genuinely felt shame and remorse for all that he has done and has made a concerted effort to not repeat it. Out of the two men on her life right now Klaus is the only one actually doing right by her, he’s the only one there giving her space when she needs it, giving her comfort when she needs it, respecting her desires, and actively working on himself so that they can build the life that they both want for their daughter. If Hayley fell for Klaus it would not be making the same kinda statement that having Hayley stay with with Elijah would have been making. There is no violence between Klaus and Hayley, there is friendship, understanding, trust, partnership, and affection…all of which are absent from her dynamic with Elijah and was already absent even before the beat down.