#because I genuinely was like uhh what happened during this again

[saltyfilmmajor]

I forgot how good The Wizard of the Last Century was

[sightofsea]

147 for the ineffable beauties because i’m a basic ass bitch

this took a hot sec but here ya go!

147. "Tell me again."

The bench is in the middle of nowhere. They've been meeting in the middles of nowheres a lot recently: at picnic tables in littered children's parks, on the hoods of cars in empty car parks, inside of a Korean restaurant named Park's in some strip mall in Iowa. This middle of nowhere is a rhododendron garden, tucked away in some neighborhood with just a bulletin board to acknowledge its presence. 

It's after closing, yet the fountain still runs. Probably to keep the pipes from freezing, Aziraphale had suggested, when Crowley asked. And then they talked as they usually have, during these visits: stunted sentences. Business talk, you understand, about the end of the world and such. How to stop it, et cetera. Nothing more, Crowley, you have to understand. This is strictly a transactional exchange.

So they talk business. They exchange things--words mostly--and then as most conversations do, it veers. It twists and turns and does a U-ey until there's a pause. A pregnant pause at that, five days overdue and with ankles so swollen its legs might as well be tree trunks.

The water continues to run. The air smells like rain approaching.

"Tell me again," Aziraphale says finally. "Just one more time."

Crowley considers this. A part of him--a big part--wants to start begging. But he's got to have his dignity, of whatever's left of it. 

"No."

Aziraphale blinks. "No?" he asks, voice pitched high.

"No," Crowley says, shaking his head and licking the front of his teeth. He gives the angel a small, sad smile. "Once was enough, don't you think?"

"Not for me," Aziraphale says truthfully.

Crowley leans back on the bench and crosses his legs. "Too bad, so sad," he drawls, and contemplated the sky above them. Cloudy, heavy. Rain knocking on their door.

He waits for the space next to him to go empty. That's usually how conversations like this have gone as of late. Instead, it's still occupied. In it sits one angel, fidgeting with his hands, blinking rapidly and swallowing. Crowley feels the lady of his dignity start to crumble. "Oh, don't...don't do the--"

Aziraphale takes in a deep breath and steels himself, as if caught out. "The what?"

Crowley groans and gestures. "The eyes, the lip, the--"

Aziraphale starts to wipe at his face, but it only serves to make things worse. "I can't help it, now can I?" he asks. 

"Well why would you wanna hear it again?" Crowley asks genuinely. Aziraphale stares at him in confusion. "Hm? Words all...jumbled and, and half--half something or other. All full of...of..." 

Love. Affection. Care. He tries to remember the speech he gave and comes up empty on the specifics, but the emotions wash over him again. He swallows them back. 

"Can't even get them out now," Crowley says, voice suddenly too small in his mouth. "I don't see the point, really. I said one thing, you said another, and now we're..." He tries to grasp onto some concrete definition of what they are. "...here."

He gestures to the garden. Aziraphale looks around, as if trying to find a response somewhere between the moss and the thick leaves. He fidgets a little more. It takes all of Crowley's might to not curl around him. 

He must find the words somewhere, perhaps under a rock or something, because he stops his fidgeting. "Maybe," he says, anxiously angling himself towards Crowley, "I want a do over."

Crowley's internal organs do a funny thing involving a clove hitch and perhaps a somersault. "A do--a do over?" he stutters out.

Aziraphale nods. "Yes."

"Oh," Crowley says. Then he tries, very very hard, to remember his whole speech. He comes up woefully short. "Um." Come on, think! THINK! "Uhh." Right, okay. He can be smooth about this. "A-Actions speak louder than words, I think."

Aziraphale blinks, and smiles pleasantly. "I happen to agree."

Right. Okay. Jesus--Adam, whoever. Okay, time for action. "So..." Crowley says, and lifts a hand. Towards what, he's not entirely sure. He supposes the other angel's hand--kissing didn't go very well last time, did it? So, yeah. Crowley lifts a hand, and then places over Aziraphale's, and feels like he's just climbed Kilimanjaro.

He looks at Aziraphale, unsure. Aziraphale smiles and also lifts a hand. Now that's interesting, Crowley thinks, triple hand hold. Didn't know you could do that.

He's midway through that thought when Aziraphale's hand goes for his tie and pulls him in lips first. After that, things go a bit fuzzy. There's hands, he knows that. Quite bit of gripping from both parties, and something involving a bit of tongue and teeth that causes his kneecaps to liquify. If actions speak louder than words, then Aziraphale is practically shouting. Crowley happily gets the message.

"How was that?" Aziraphale asks when they pull apart. He hand is still on Crowley's tie. "As a do-over."

Crowley's mental facilities struggle to recover. They aren't helped by the fact that Aziraphale's twirling the tie around his finger. "Wh--uh, hoooo...yup," Crowley eloquently puts it. He clears his throat. "Might, um. Might need a, um. A couple--few more--"

"A few more tries?" Aziraphale asks. 

"Yeah," Crowley breathes out.

Aziraphale takes in a shaky breath. "Well," he says, and starts pulling at the tie again. It starts to rain. Neither of them notice. "Let it never be said I've been anything but thorough."

[vampyr3wife]

February sucked but it wasn't all bad so! a little diary entry update of the things that happened while I was gonee :3 ⊹ ࣪ ˖

Peanut continues to be the bravest girl in the world... she's getting much more confident about coming inside a bit + she has discovered the joys of forehead kisses and being blanketed in cuddles =) ... also I saw a rabbit that was as big as her last week. Cleo was reunited with her beloved gen 3 my little ponies and Loki has been an even cuddlier bug than usual ! The weather got a lot nicer for a while so I started exploring again n I managed to expand my dead-things collection a bit! I also visited some really cool places that r said to be haunted and I've been making a list of more.. I'm going 2 a cat expo this weekend and I'm hoping my next adventure will be to a cat graveyard / shrine I know of that was built by witches..

During my exploration I also discovered a colony of feral cats.. Despite making kitty friends it is not a good thing.. there were around 15 cats I saw around a small group of houses and the majority of them were not fixed. I made some calls to my friend who was experienced with TNR in the area and she told me that there is a lady in that neighborhood tht is known to feed & let ferals breed in her yard without letting anyone try to get them fixed. Of course this results in giant inbred colonies and sick kittens. One of the first cats I spotted there was a black kitten that was very clearly sick with some kind of eye and respiratory infection. I was able to catch her the day after I found her and I brought her to the kitty clinic.. she is still there getting help right now and I've been calling every once in a while to check up on her. I very much feel like I was meant to find her because not even 10 minutes after I scooped her up a rainbow appeared in the sky n stayed until I got home from dropping her off.. but I am still unsure of what to do about the colony,.. many people see it as a lost cause but I still feel like I should try to help. If I see that evil lady I'm genuinely gonna start cryign about it right in front of her.

I was very heartbroken in the summer when my sweet beloved ancient laptop joined the angels in heaven .. n WELL !! I was pretty much given a laptop tht my dad fixed up bc no one was using it.. ?? I feel extremely lucky.. Aside from that I've been giving into my urge for Projects ... I also found a mini chainsaw so uhh look out for that I guess

[amazinglyegg]

companions react to sole crying when they raise their voice at them

AWW this one's sad

For clarity I'm going with the idea that the companions aren't yelling at Sole out of anger (like, a low affinity talk) but more like they're either scolding Sole over something minor ("you could have gotten hurt! Be careful!") or ranting out loud about something unrelated and Sole is very sensitive to that sort of thing!

Companions react: Sole crying when yelled at

Includes Cait, Codsworth, Curie, Deacon, Desdemona, Danse, Hancock, Haylen, Maccready, Nick, Piper, Preston, Rhys, X6-88

Cait

Uhh. Fuck.

Cait is probably Least Capable of dealing with a crying person

First instinct might be to use tough love because that's what she uses on herself and it works fine

Like "Oh come on suck it up, it wasn't even that bad"

Actually starts to feel bad after a few moments though and will change trajectory into something more gentle

Gladly lets Sole have alone time if they ask because she really needs a minute to try and think of what to say

If Sole comes back completely ignoring what happened she'll also ignore it, but if they continue to seem upset she'll make the first move and actually apologizes

Very awkward with it, every sentence is like she's testing the waters for Sole's reaction.

The apology IS genuine, though, and Sole can tell just by how awkward she is about it. She won't just brush it off if Sole won't brush it off.

Codsworth

IMMEDIATE GUILT

Poor Codsworth would do a complete 180 and start comforting Sole

Sort of has a hard time if they want to be alone to collect themself, he's worried they'll hate him forever (he has a bit of separation anxiety after being alone for 200 years)

Will note exactly what made Sole cry and will never talk about that topic with that voice again

Like if they cried because he was worried about them getting hurt every interaction like that afterwards will be "You NEED to take better care of - I mean, please take better care of yourself please"

Curie

If Curie is raising her voice at Sole she's probably scolding them for not taking care of their health

She wants them to take care of themself but she didn't mean to make them so guilty they cry!!

She'll immediately comfort them and apologize for being so strict

100% mom friend, will not stop apologizing and trying to make it up to them via food and comfort

Gives Sole a hug and a forehead kiss and tucks them into bed with a warm cup of soup. Maybe cries a little

Probably tries to stand up for them on their behalf in the future, like if someone yells at them she'll scold the person yelling for being mean

Deacon

Ah shit

Deacon prides himself on being able to stay calm during conflict and read the other persons facial expressions, it's his job after all

But anger always managed to get to him somehow, and it made him ignore the small signs that Sole was getting stressed out

He wasn't even upset at them, he was just having a bad day, but he knew he fucked up the second their face scrunched up and they looked away

They're crying. Sole is crying because of him

Might try to fix things by making jokes but if he realizes Sole is genuinely upset he'll probably end up leaving and giving Sole their space

He leaves them to cry for a while and comes back once they've calmed down so he can sincerely apologize

Tries to make Sole feel better for the next few days by pulling some strings

Their favorite animal is brahmin? What a coincidence, Des is telling us to go to a safe house with a huge brahmin farm! They really like Blamco Mac and Cheese? Deacon just found a HUGE stash behind HQ, we better eat it!

Desdemona

Just kinda. Freezes.

This never happened before?? And either she doesn't really know Sole that well (agents faces tend to get confusing since so many come and go) and doesn't know what to say, or they're like, the best agent in the Railroad and she's very worried that she managed to make them cry.

Tries to brush it off as smoothly as possible and excuses them somewhere private to calm down so at least they're not crying in front of everyone

If she's closer with Sole she'll actively search them out herself and apologize directly

If not she'll honestly probably go to Deacon or someone first being like "Are they pissed at me?? Should I apologize or do I pretend it didn't happen?"

Might take the silent approach of giving Sole less work/more support and makes the mental reminder not to yell at them

Danse

Listen, this man is used to reprimanding people. He can practically do it in his sleep

But when he hears Sole burst into tears? He immediately loses all train of thought

He's probably the type of person to go "... Are you crying?" because this has never really happened to him before

Super worried that he's pushed Sole too far, regrets even yelling at them in the first place

Doesn't really know what to do, ends up waiting for Sole to make the first move (explain themself, run away, etc)

If he isn't as close with Sole he'll probably hesitantly give them space - it's what he would want if he burst into tears

If they're close/romanced he'll default to trying to talk to them and calm them down

He is a bit awkward and tends to fumble a lot, so Sole may have to be direct with what they need from him (Space, comfort, apology, etc) but Danse will do basically anything to get them to calm down

Like a person who is very bad at dealing with a crying toddler: "no no don't cry... Here's some candy... and twenty bucks... we can get ice cream if you want just please stop crying"

Hancock

I imagine Hancock to be a pretty touchy guy, so if Sole started crying his go-to comfort is by hugging them or rubbing their arm/back

He has high energy and expresses himself loudly so he realizes that he can be overwhelming at times

He'll quiet down and focus on comforting them and getting them what they need

Absolute KING at respecting their space and autonomy

The only thing worse than crying is crying in public so he's bringing them to a quiet room and letting them cry it out distraction free. They make the tiniest action that seems like they don't want to be touched and he'll back off, no questions asked

Also a bit of the "poorly dealing with a crying toddler" person: "You want chems?? No? Candy?? Would it make you feel better if you punched me??"

Haylen

Very empathetic towards Sole, immediately switches to a "Oh, hey, come on, it's okay..." type of voice

She gets that the Brotherhood is overbearing and it can take a while to get used to being reprimanded/spoken to in such a harsh way

If she's spent a good amount of time around Sole she's probably pretty in tune with their emotional needs and can work with that

Sole won't even have to ask, she'll just show up with some hot chocolate and a blanket, or apologize, or pretend like it never happened, or any mixture of those

A little worried and overprotective of them for a while after, though, especially if she's already worried about their mental health

Might talk to them to try and see what's wrong or convince them to take a break

Maccready

Another member of the "Wait... are you crying?" group.

Panics, probably. Doesn't know what to do or what to say.

He'll end up apologizing to them either way

If he's close with Sole he's more likely to do so first and more quickly, if not he might wait to gauge Sole's reaction before talking to them

A little bit awkward but he's got the spirit, will probably try to understand what made them cry and what he can do to make sure it doesn't happen in the future

Will also do a sort of follow-up check in after the fact or if they're having a rough day some other time

Tries a lot to stay more in-tune with Sole's emotions and what makes them upset after this point so they don't end up crying again because of him

Nick Valentine

For Nick to raise his voice like that he'd probably have to be distracted in some way

Either thinking about his words and not his voice as he reprimands Sole or snapping about something unrelated that's on his mind

So he doesn't even realize Sole started crying until their tears manage to snap him out of his thoughts

He's the type to try and comfort them straight away by cautiously reaching in for a hug and apologizing

If Sole runs off or yells at him he takes it personally, getting upset at himself for making Sole so uncomfortable

He will eventually reach out to them and get them to talk about what's bothering them, even if it takes a while

He'll immediately step up and sincerely apologize, and then turn his focus onto Sole's mental health

He realizes Sole has A Lot going on and them crying was probably the result of many days/weeks/months of bottled up emotions

Piper

Sole crying stops her in her tracks and makes her re-think everything that's happened between them in the past 24 hours

Was it something she said?? Or something she did?? What did she do wrong!?

Depending on the situation will either try to explain herself ("I didn't mean it like that, no don't cry I was just joking I swear -") or immediately be worried for Sole and try to comfort them

Might take Sole needing alone time a bit personally, she'll end up worrying that they're REALLY mad at her

She feels like she's not the best at comforting people so she'll try to turn to acts of service/gifts to bring them comfort

Buying them their favorite food, carrying more of their items, giving them hugs, etc.

Preston

Almost confused at first

He's never had anyone shy away from him before - if anything people didn't take him seriously and tended to look down on him

So the fact that he managed to make Sole cry really made him reassess their entire conversation up to this point

Immediately apologizes and asks what's wrong because surely there has to be something else going on for them to cry like this, right?

If Sole doesn't give an explanation he'll default to assuming they're overtired and stressed from work

Probably ends up feeling guilty for every time he gave them more Minuteman-related work to do

Might end up in a bit of a self-deprecating spiral of "I pushed them too hard, now they're upset, it's all my fault, how the hell can I fix this..."

He'll really focus on being there for them, whatever they need.

Less work? He'll take on their load. Shoulder to cry on? He'll stay up all night for them. A warm hug? He won't let go until Sole lets go first.

Rhys

Laughs

Alright he's an asshole

Kind of goes on a power trip about it too

Like "Haha yes I made them cry. Because I am the strong alpha male of the group"

At some point might come to the conclusion, either through his own means or by Danse/Haylen calling him out, that he was being a little bit of an asshole

If he apologizes though it's extremely short and awkward.

Like "Hey. Uhh. Sorry for making you cry. Just don't do it again. It's weird." And never brings it up ever again

Alternatively, takes the "Older Brother When The Younger Brither Starts Crying" approach of "Don't tell Danse! I didn't even yell at you that much! You can punch me back so we're even just please stop crying dude Danse will hear you and he'll get mad at me"

X6-88

It stops him in his tracks

Part of him is freaking out because Oh God Someone Is Experiencing Emotions Around Me

And the other part of him is freaking out because He Made Sole Cry Uh-Oh

Will probably give Sole some space immediately and waits for them to calm down - he's never been good at dealing with emotional people

Once they're calm he'll revisit them with a peace offering of sorts, like a fancy lad snack cake or some tea or something

Very curt apology, hands them the gift, leaves a moment of silence as an opportunity for them to speak up about what made them cry if they want

Once that's over he'll just try and pretend it never happened while also keeping them safe from whatever else could trigger that

He'll try not to yell at them and actively avoid putting them in situations where they'll be yelled at again whenever possible

[nuttytani]

his vs your spice tolerance

characters: ieyasu, hideyoshi, mitsuhide, mai, gn!reader

warnings: none

a/n: I was daydreaming about spicy food during one of those boring lectures and then this happened. don't mind any typos or stuff, it's not proof read. p.s oh followers of mine, do you still wan't to get tagged on my hcs and fics? even though i pop in once in a century.

Ieyasu 

He’s known to be able to hold his spice

There hasn't been ANYONE who was able to surpass him in terms of spice tolerance

Enter: you 

Oh boy, he did not expect someone to handle spicier food than him

Genuinely feels scared as he watches you drown your meal in copious amount of hot sauce, roasted and cut chilli (yes, the green or red ones that grow on bushes) and straight up shove it in your mouth without a single flinch

He is scared. Saying that would be an understatement since he has tried your “food” once, and never again. Swears to not even dream about it. Ieyasu was crying his eyes out just from two bites and was chugging down glasses of water…. Which - uhh backfired. 

Needless to say but yasu was breathing fire like a dragon 

Now has profound admiration for your spice tolerance. No one can top you.

Hideyoshi 

He didn’t really have any spice tolerance from the start

Thinks you’re crazier than Ieyasu to…..be able to eat the demonic level of spice that you do

Doesn’t dare to even take a bite out of your food, he already knows that it would end badly for his mouth and his behind. 

But he does feel concerned about your health though, eating too much spice can be detrimental to your health after all

Somehow succeeds in making you eat at least a little less spice than before.

(actually, the only reason you reduced your spice intake was because of his puppy dog eyes. Darn em’ can’t say no to those shiny eyes)

Mitsuhide 

This man can’t even taste, what do you expect him to say about your abominable love for spice? Nothing.

Except, he does enjoy seeing you place a bottle of hot sauce and plenty of chillies on the side of your plate for every meal. 

Once, he exchanged your lunch box with Hideyoshi’s. For educational purposes. 

Gets punched in the face the very next day by Hideyoshi, who appeared to be unwell. 

He did try your food out of curiosity once, alas, no taste, but he did find the mild burning sensation on his tongue to be intriguing. 

You eventually make him addicted to eating whole chilli, ain't that nice? Better than eating random leaves in his garden (and who knows what else)

Bonus: 

Mai 

Thinks you’re some sort of godly specimen to be able to handle extremely spicy food.

Like, even Ieyasu is scared/amazed by your spice tolerance! 

She tries your food once, how bad can it be? Just a little bit of burning won’t stop her from trying it out!

Regrets immediately 

Curses her life choices and is now stuck in the toilet 

Is currently missing her 21st century western style toilets 

Gets the heebie jeebies whenever she looks at your food from then on

She does, however, tried eating whole chilli. After you taught her how to eat it like a pro

Mai is now unstoppable

Flaunts her newfound skill to eat chillies without a sweat to yasu. 

Gets kicked out of his room.

taglist : im sorry, i lost my old one- uhh if you guys ares still interested tho, let me know

[backroomskokichi]

I LOVE ALL YOUR AUs!! I wanna make my own but I always get stuck with turning my ideas and concepts into an actual cohesive story. You don’t have to answer ofc but I’d greatly appreciate the advice.

Hope ur having a good day, keep up the awesome work!!

Iii oomg so sorry I’m like between falling asleep and staying awake rn

Anyways uhh how I make my AUs and turn them into stories is such a weird process literally most of my AU thoughts n story ideas play in movies in my head during class butttt here’s some tips if you’re genuinely interested in storytelling from me

Kobis AU Variations : ahem

1. Steal the story, change the characters 💀

If you know me, I’m so unoriginal PLEASE you know the man in the suit? I took the main plot line bro. The only things I’ve changed are little parts in between of what happened before and after the main events happened surrounding around what the characters would do in the situation and so on

A very good example of this type of AU creation is my “ouma snaps AU” it’s quite literally the movie Ginger snaps but different characters. I’m not worried, I don’t get copyrighted soo :3

2. Mish-mash (aka taking inspiration from different plot lines and making it relatively different so it’s your own plot line)

This is one used for many of my AUs if not the first one because all I do is sit around and imagine scenarios with my favorite characters idk why I get so much attention for it but here we are

A good example of mish mash is my AU “Kokichi your co-workers a monster” btw it IS a fanfiction it just hasn’t been worked on in a few months.. I need to work on it.. but anyway It started out with me thinkjnf of a monster design now *I* don’t come to monster designs they usually tend to pop in my head and I suddenly have a super fun vision I want to draw out , this is what happened with that AU. I made a prompt actually,

“Kokichi your co-workers a monster! But he’s in love with you” after that video I made , people kept asking for more of the AU and asking for a fanfiction so I decided to say, well yeah sure!

I started brainstorming the backgrounds, the people, the main areas, what big things would happen (plot points), and beyond that.

For this AU in particular I chose a boat cruise where Kokichi and his friends decide to work on a cruise for the summer. (summery)

Turns out there’s a new waitress on the ship who most definitely likes Kokichi and wants to hang out with him more! (something that changes and turns the story)

Although, the murders on the boat have all been his doing and it would truly be a shame if Kokichi found out it was him all along. (Irony + conflict)

CONFLICT is a hugge thing when it comes to stories. especially at the beginning, when your character is trying to go somewhere, and anything that has hopes or dreams that need to be destroyed to be replenished again (or not)

Idk if this helped or not this was mostly a rant more than anything but it’s how I make AUs

[cock-ainee]

You know what imma tell you all?

I once had my first friend. It was uhh, 5th grade of primary school? Previously, i was friendly with almost everybody.

At first she was annoying me. She was always sticking to me and i had no idea why. Only later we started talking and became friends. But it wasn't long, until another friend joined us. And for some time, it still was fine.

Then there was covid... And it was the worst shit that could've ever happened to me. When we finally came back to school i was more closed off than ever. But i still had my friends, right? So i thought.

Sometime later they both went on a trip during winter holidays. I couldn't go, so they took a girl from another class. And when they came back, that's when it started. They completely ignored me most of the time. They were just talking among them three. Well, there was also one more girl that joined at some point. And i was thrown away like a piece of trash. They were always walking down the hallways together while i walked behind them like a loser. They always sat together, leaving me alone. But when i ignored them, of course there was a problem.

I cut off all contact with them after we finished school. Because i was sure i'm going to find more real friends in high school.

A bit before that.. like, exactly 31st of december, 2022 somebody texted me (i had a Gojo pfp on fb and his name was Sukuna) and we started talking. In a really short period of time we became good friends. But with time, he started being dry. He barely texted me, until he completely cut me off, not responding to my messages at all.

One of the most hurtful situations, which literally made me cry, was when i agreed to give my friend my phone. To text him. She was texting him (as me) some sexual kind of stuff (idk we often did that, also in rp) and after i told him it was her, he said something like "could you give me her fb? She seemed cool".

In the end i think he sensed i wasn't really happy with what he said, so he gave up, but it was already there, right?

Well, high school. I was so nervous, because i was afraid of talking with people. And during my first lesson, i talked with a girl. She seemed so genuinely nice, and i felt relieved that i was somehow able to talk with her. After that, she introduced me to her friend. I was sad, because i thought that i won't have a chance to befriend her, since she already has a friend. But as time went on we started talking more and more, and they kind of separated. And she was MY friend. Well, SHE IS my friend. The best, most perfect one i could've ever got. Because that's my @beeksana !!!!

At the end of grade 1, some people from the class started being petty towards me for no reason. Then there was a tiny drama in class (not about me but i helped one of the girls there) and well, summer holidays. When we came back in september, it was a nightmare.

I was alone. Totally alone, and didn't talk to anybody. I skipped school a lot because i couldn't handle being there. Then i was absent a lot because of the winter conditions, and i missed a lot of exams. I csme back to school later though. And i had so much things piled up, i was so fucking scared. I knew it was partly my fault, but i just couldn't handle it. I skipped school again, but for a few weeks until they called my mom to school.

And during that period, i talked with my other "friend" and my cousin. The friend was a class higher than me, and i knew her from primary school. I introduced her to my cousin and they befriended each other too. But the friend has TONS of other friends. And she drinks alcohol on any occassion she gets. I never liked that.

Well, while i talked to them, instead of giving me any support, they started scolding me. Or rather my cousin was scolding me and the friend agreed like the fucking npc she is. They thought i skipped school because i was fucking lazy?? They didn't think at all how i felt mentally, especially with the hell i have at home. I told them to go fuck themselves and left them. And you know what?? I don't feel like i lost something valuable. I don't miss them. If somebody doesn't support you, then fuck them!!

And lately, i was bickering with one of my online friends which is on my kny rp group. She started calling Sanemi ugly or some shit, so i started insulting Douma (her fav character) and she got all petty. What was she fucking thinking?? She wasn't talking to me for some time anyways, and she expected me to not defend Sanemi, who comforted me more than she ever did, even though he doesn't exist???

I told her that "If Sanemi was real i'd have better chances with him than you'd do with Douma, because he strictly likes beautiful women." She got all angry, left all the groupchats, deleted my nick on our private chat and yeah. Left. And i don't think i feel any different too.

So now irl i have one person. And so what? One is better than 10 fucking liars. And so, really, you all - if somebody isn't being right with you, just leave them. You'll save yourself the trouble.

So yes Beebee, FUCK UBER 😈

[abeautifulblog]

Actually, let's talk about the Baba Yaga storyline

...And how much I fucking loathed it.

(A discussion of tropes, narrative choices, and how goddamn dirty The Witcher Netflix did Yennefer in S2.)

So this subplot is actually a pretty tidy object lesson in literary tropes, and why writers need to understand how tropes work in order to utilize them effectively. The trope at play here is the "Faustian bargain" or "deal with the devil," in which a character barters with a powerful supernatural creature of dubious moral alignment in order to gain something they desire (often something self-serving like wealth or power), at a price that's almost never worth it.

...It is pretty much a given that you will not be getting the better end of the deal, as it’s written. But there are a number of different ways to play this trope, and they each say something different about the kind of character who would take that bargain:

1) If you don't realize this is a trap -- if that sounded like a Pretty Sweet Deal! 😀 -- then you're either very naive or very dumb.

2) If you know it's a trap, but expect to get your prize and then weasel out of it with your soul intact anyway, because you think you're cleverer than this eldritch creature you're dealing with -- then you are very cocky, and probably wrong, because modern narratives don't tend to reward hubris.

3) If you know it's a trap, but you think you can get what you want without consequences to you, because you can pay the price with someone else's life or soul -- then you are evil. (And probably also wrong, because it's rare in fiction that you can commit an evil like that without doing some sort of spiritual damage to your own soul.)

4) And lastly, if you know it's a trap, but you are in such desperate, dire straits that even this self-evidently bad bargain looks like your best option -- then it might still be a mistake, but it's the one that audiences are most likely to forgive you for, or at least find understandable.

I don't make the rules. Those are just the audience reactions you can expect from playing the trope in those particular ways -- and if you want a different audience reaction (say, you want forgiveness for character who tried to sacrifice someone else), then you have to put in some extra work to make that happen, mitigating circumstances, etc (say, that the character genuinely believes it's the only way to save a greater number of lives).

--

So how did TWN play Yennefer's Faustian bargain with Baba Yaga?

E2 - Yen and Francesca and Fringilla meet Baba Yaga in her spirit realm or whatever, and she dangles their Heart's Desire, For A Price in front of them. Yennefer doesn’t ask for her magic, because at that point she doesn’t realize she’s lost it.

E3 through E5 - Yennefer tries without success to get her magic to work again. I don't recall any mention of Baba Yaga during that time -- it doesn't even occur to Yennefer as a means of getting it back.

E5 - Yennefer and Jaskier are being pursued by hooligans or something, and even though Yen has ducked into a brothel to hide and is nominally safe, that's when she decides to contact Baba Yaga for help. She gets whisked off to the spirit realm again, and agrees to give Baba Yaga a particular kid in exchange for getting her powers back. 

She agrees to this deal knowing that she'll be sacrificing someone's child to this creature.

(And, critically, a point I’ll come back to later: she hasn't signed anything yet. She doesn't get her powers back here. That's the reward being promised for after she feeds a kid to a demon.)

E6 - Yennefer actually meets Ciri, but, notably, does not immediately swear off the plan. She's just kinda ~conflicted~ about it now.

(This was also the episode where they started trying to have Yennefer and Ciri do their mother-daughter bonding, and Yennefer says all the right things, to be sure, but since we-the-audience know that she is at least still contemplating feeding Ciri to Baba Yaga, that, uhh, RINGS KINDA FUCKING FALSE.)

E7 - Ciri reads Yennefer's mind and finds out about the plan to feed her to a demon. (Or so wikipedia tells me, since I have literally no memory of how Yennefer's Baba Yaga related plans got outed.) 

E8 - Baba Yaga gets loose, possesses Ciri. Lots of high-drama CG bullshit. Yennefer sacrifices herself to become the host to get Baba Yaga out of Ciri. More CG bullshit, Baba Yaga is vanquished and leaves, and when everyone comes out of their woowoo CG trance, Yennefer has her magic back. But after that BETRAYAL, Geralt can no longer trust her.

--

So, Yennefer losing her powers is actually a subplot I'm entirely onboard for. Whenever a character loses something that is a pillar of their identity, and now has to reckon with who they are without that -- THAT'S THE GOOD SHIT. That's grief. That's loss. That is scattering the pieces of their self and seeing what happens when they have to put themselves back together again. Muah. Delicious fucking food. Peak drama.

We know that Yennefer has been raised to define herself, and stake her entire self-worth, on her magic. It's what she gave up everything for, because they told her it would be worth it, and now she has nothing -- not the magic, not the things she sacrificed for it. Of course she's searching for a way to get it back -- her first reaction is going to be denial and bargaining, not acceptance.

And I can think of two different ways you could play that arc, both of which have the potential for good, meaty character development:

The first (and the one I would have preferred) would have been an arc in which Yennefer discovers who she is without her magic -- that she comes to realize there's more to her than her power, that she's not helpless, that her worth isn't tied to having magic. We get a glimpse of that in the scene where she rescues Jaskier from Rience (my favorite scene in the whole damn season 😁😁😁) using her wits instead of her magic, and that was genuinely REALLY COOL -- it's intensely gratifying to see a character being clever instead of just magically overclocked. 

They could have carried that through into her meeting Ciri as well, and realizing that she has more to offer Ciri as a mother and a friend than as a mage, that her love and support is worth more than her utility to Ciri. Yennefer reaches an enlightened understanding where she might well still want her magic back, but she doesn't need it to define herself anymore.

(This shares a lot of beats with disability narratives, and I think the sensitive way to handle it would be to treat it as such.)

The other kind of story would be one in which the character has no interest in reaching that enlightened understanding -- Yennefer’s not coming to the "acceptance" stage of loss, because she refuses to accept it. She's searching relentlessly for a cure, chasing down every lead for someone who could fix this, every avenue that might get her what she wants. Then the question becomes, "How far would you go for this? How much are you willing to sacrifice?"

And the answer is everything....... until it's not. And that is the pivotal character-making moment in this kind of story -- when you find out where this character's line is, the line they won't cross even for the sake of the thing they want most in all the world. Where the devil could dangle that oh-so-tempting bargain before them, and they would still say No. No, the cost you're asking isn't worth it, even for this. Yennefer -- who has spent her whole life being coached to be selfish, and has wound up alone and alienated for it -- finally has people she loves enough that she would choose them over herself.

--

TWN kinda went the latter route, but they didn't fully commit to it -- both the plot beats and Yennefer's emotional arc are so muddled that it's not clear what they were trying to say, and both the dramatic impact and the message got completely lost.

Problem 1: Yennefer wasn’t proactive enough.

She's sad about losing her magic, but she's not shown DOING anything about it. This is what I kept yelling at the screen about in E3, when she's just drifting aimlessly around Aretuza in that fucking prom dress and being ~helplessly damseled~ by Stregobor. Send her to the goddamn library to do some research! Show her arguing theory with Tissaia, and refusing to believe that this can't be fixed! Show us HOW BADLY she wants it, and how hard she's willing to fight for it.

Hell, seed the future conflict with Baba Yaga: Yennefer finds an account of someone who acquired their power through a deal with a demon, and she takes is to Tissaia as proof-of-concept, and Tissaia is like, yeah you CAN, but you SHOULDN'T. (Hoe don't do it!) That both establishes it to the audience as a possibility, and preemptively raises the question of what extremes Yennefer will go to in pursuit of this goal.

Problem 2: The stakes were never high enough

As I mentioned above, it's easier to get audience sympathy for a character who’s only making a devil's bargain because they're in extremis -- when something predatory has them over a barrel and is taking opportunistic advantage of the fact that they've got no other options. That hits a nerve with our sense of injustice -- we get angry when we see someone being taken advantage of like. It'll make us root for the character to find a way out of the deal somehow, because even though they agreed to it, we don’t feel that they should be held to that extortionate price.

But Yennefer is never quite desperate enough; the stakes are never quite high enough. She wants her magic back, but at no point does she need it. They never make her desperate enough to justify that bad bargain.

So raise those stakes.

Make it so that Yennefer is in desperate straits when she makes the bargain. She is in a situation that would have been trivial to escape if she'd had her magic, but now she is about to fucking DIE, and there's nothing she can do about it, and yeah, this sketchy creature that's been in her head trying to talk her into this bargain is obviously sketchy A-F, but she either takes its offer, or she dies in the next ten seconds. Them's her only two options.

Because without that level of desperation, her decision instead becomes premeditated, selfish, and stupid.

Problem 3: She needed to NOT knowingly make the evil choice.

Audiences will forgive a Faustian bargain made to save a child, but there's no way to sacrifice a child (or even seriously contemplate it) and come out of that looking good. 😬

The easiest way to fix that would have been for Yennefer to not know what the terms would be when she agreed to the bargain. 

To be sure: handing a blank check to that kind of creature is a bad idea, but we've already established that Yennefer needs to be fuckin hard up when she takes that deal; she doesn't have time to negotiate or think it over, she barely has enough time to say yes.

TWN made a big mistake, imo, by not having Baba Yaga give Yennefer her powers back upfront in E5. They made an agreement, yeah, but it did not put Yennefer on the hook, in her debt. Yennefer could still have noped out at any time once she found out what the terms were, since Baba Yaga hadn't given her anything yet.

It would have been far better if Baba Yaga saved her first, restored her magic, and then presented her with the bill -- it becomes a hell of a lot harder for Yennefer to back out at that point.

(And also: get the goods upfront, because why the fuck would you trust that this sketchy creature has any intention of keeping their promise? Whoops, egg on your face, when it turns out you murdered a kid for nothing!)

Furthermore, raise the stakes on what happens if Yennefer doesn't hold up her end of the bargain: that if Yennefer doesn't deliver Ciri to Baba Yaga, then she gets eaten by the demon instead. It’s still evil to murder a child, obviously, but "their life vs my life" is a bit more of a dilemma than "their life vs my magic."

And after she meets Ciri, after Ciri becomes a real person to her rather than an abstraction, then she cannot continue to entertain the possibility of sacrificing her for another episode and a half. Full stop. Yennefer should have immediately started scrambling for "There has to be another way!" The fact that TWN-Yennefer is even still considering it after meeting Ciri says really, really shitty things about her.

(And when she does get caught out, she starts sobbing, I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT YOU WERE TO HIM!!, which is, lol holy shit, not the defense you think it is! "I totally would have sacrificed you without a qualm if you didn't happen to be my fuckboy ex's kid" ??? What? Not "because you matter to me"? Or "because I realized that what I was contemplating was FUCKING EVIL”?? And she tells Ciri that to her face? 

Writers, did you stop to think about the implications of that line for one half of one hot second??)

Problem 4: Revealing Yennefer's betrayal ahead of time

By having Ciri and Geralt find out about her incipient betrayal before it happens, Yennefer never got to decide for herself that she wasn't going to go through with it. There needed to be no guilt trips or external peer pressure -- just that she herself thought this over, and decided on her own that Ciri was worth more than getting her magic back.

The fact that it wasn't her choice to come clean about that -- that the choice gets taken out of her hands before it reached the moment when she'd have decide one way or the other -- not only robbed us of what would have been a massively powerful, character-defining moment for her, but also means that we have no proof whether or not she would have done it, if left to her own devices. 

Because let's be honest: Yennefer doesn't exactly have a track record of prioritizing other people above herself. Maybe she would have found her conscience in time -- or maybe she wouldn't. (She had, after all, already made this bargain knowing full well that it was going to involve sacrificing someone's kid.) It is by no means a given that she would have changed her mind.

So what a powerful moment it would have been when Yennefer throws off those teachings that tied her worth to her utility -- when she proves that she’s come to care about other people, and puts their well-being above her own. Imagine the bomb drama if Yennefer had been the one to reveal the bargain to Ciri and Geralt, ideally at the moment when she also reveals that she's rejecting it and taking their side against Baba Yaga, even at the cost of her own life. The moment when her core of steel comes through, and she takes a stand and is willing to face the consequences of her mistake.

That would have been a fantastic climax for Yennefer's character arc in S2: when she decisively shows how much she's changed from the aloof and self-absorbed (and desperately unhappy) woman that she was in S1.

But that's not what TWN gave us. There's no big dramatic moment. I literally do not even remember her sacrifice in the final battle, even though I watched S2 twice, because it got lost amid the boring-and-confusing CGI fight scene that drags on forever. Everything is supposed to be big drama there, and so Yennefer’s sacrifice doesn’t stand out.

Moreover, it doesn’t even really feel like Yennefer's choice at that point -- more that she's belatedly trying to clean up her mess, after she's already missed her chance to trade Ciri for her magic. That makes it feel a hell of a lot less sincere, like too little too late. Of-fucking-course she's sorry for it, now, now that it didn't work and everyone's mad at her. Yeah I'm sure she does regret it, now. It's just that sorry rings pretty hollow at this point.

S2 didn't give her a chance make the right choice for herself -- and as a consequence, Geralt and Ciri will never, ever know for certain what she would have done if circumstances hadn’t intervened. And realistically, there's no way for them to trust her after this; she can’t retroactively prove that she wouldn’t have betrayed them in the end, which casts a doubt that would poison that relationship forever.

--

So.

Breaking down the story into granular detail like this makes it feel almost like nitpicking, but those small situational changes make a huge difference in what the narrative is telling you about the character, and what kind of person they are. And the audience doesn't need to understand the mechanisms operating behind all of this -- but the writers fucking do. That's their job. To know what the words they write are doing, and the TWN writers manifestly do not. The Baba Yaga storyline is the most egregious demonstration of that, in my opinion, but it's far from the only one.

Through their shoddy execution of a straightforward trope, they made a character we're supposed to love and root for -- whom we want the other characters in the show to love too -- make choices that were unforgivably, murderously, short-sighted and selfish. Which is pretty obviously not what they meant to say about Yennefer, and not how we as the audience were supposed to interpret her actions, but that’s what they wrote. Thanks, I hate it.

(And worse: half this shit isn't even in-character. Yennefer doesn't fucking waffle like that. She is decisive and proactive to a fault, but this season reduced her to such a passive character who just gets shuffled from setpiece to setpiece. I think she makes all of four proactive decisions in that season -- freeing Cahir, rescuing Jaskier, making the deal with Baba Yaga, and sacrificing herself for Ciri -- and half of them were dumb. 

Ugh, it's such bullshit. Yennefer deserved better.)

To be honest, I don't think the season needed the Baba Yaga plot at all, done well or otherwise. It was a misbegotten attempt to pump up fake drama, one that showed a lack of confidence in the story they were telling and a lack of respect for the audience -- like they didn't expect us to care about the found-family story without some cheap ~betrayals~ to spice it up.

But all they succeeded in doing was permanently undermining Yennefer's relationship with Ciri and Geralt, the relationship that is supposed to be one of the bedrocks of the series. That’s a betrayal you can’t come back from (except by authorial fiat, because they're ~Destined~ and so they have to). That's a well that's been poisoned.

And lastly, it puts Yennefer on the defensive now in her interactions with Geralt. Despite the fact that he was the one who overrode her free will by tying them together with djinn, the season ends with her having to grovel for his forgiveness. Geralt is now the one with the moral high ground, the injured party who gets to dispense or withhold forgiveness as he sees fit, and he's not required to make any real acknowledgment, or apology, or amends for what he did to her.

THANKS, I HATE IT.

--

So yeah, there was a lot in S2 that was Some Fucking Bullshit, but that is my narrow-focus deep dive into my single least favorite of their bad-ideas-executed-badly. 

[veraynes-blog]

Fave Shows tag game

Rules: List 5 favourite shows (in no particular order) and answer questions accordingly.

Doctor Who

Good Omens

Life on Mars

Blackpool

The Thick of It

@johnsimms thank you for tagging me, this one was super fun to think about!

(Nobody look at me about the fact there are maybe 3 individual actors stretched across those 5 shows, I am. Aware. 😶)

~

1. Who is your favourite character in 2?

I feel slightly like I’ll get lynched for picking a favourite, but - Crowley. Hands down. Not just for the DT factor, although I’m sure it contributes. I just really love everything about how his character is presented in the TV show, from all his performative showing off to the very obvious insecurities and nerves he’s trying to cover up at any given moment, I think he’s lovely. I want to wrap him in a blanket and give him tea. Which is very Aziraphale-coded of me.

2. Who is your least favourite character in 1?

Uhh… that’s a vast sea of characters you’re asking me to pick from. I can’t pick villains, cuz let’s face it my very favourite is the most villain. If I restrict myself to main companions, I guess… Yaz? I know that will be an unpopular opinion, I just don’t think she was super compelling as a character, and her relationship with the Doctor felt very anticlimactic to me, so as a companion she just fell flat for me.

3. What’s your favourite episode of 4?

I’m trying to pick… Either episode 2, because of the scene where Carlisle and Natalie go on the date in the drag club (because, unironically, I remember getting actual butterflies at how romantic I thought it was), or the final episode 6,  watching Carlisle throw caution to the wind and fully come into his own as utter manipulative bastard to get what he wants. Actually, yeah, that one.

4. What is your favourite season of 5?

Because I tend to watch them all in one big chunk, I’m struggling to remember what even happens in separate seasons. I really liked Hugh in it, so either Season 1 or 2.

5. What’s your favourite relationship in 3?

Sam and Gene. Easy one! 😄 I don’t even care if it’s platonic or romantic, I think they had amazing chemistry that clashed against each other constantly and made it so compelling to watch. I love that they very genuinely irritate the life out of each other and just as reluctantly like each other.

6. Who is your anti relationship in 2?

Think I’m going to have to steal an answer here, but Newt and Anathema because I also don’t like the ‘prophesy said so I guess’ foundation of it. It didn’t bother me massively as a pairing, I just wasn’t very interested in it.

7. How long have you watched 1?

Casually since I was 15 and it started coming out again in 2005. I’ve watched every new series with my mum, but only joined the fandom (got obsessive) around 2019.

8. How did you become interested in 3?

John Simm. That’s the whole answer. My joining the Doctor Who fandom led to TenSimm shipping, and from there stalking the filmography of both David Tennant and John Simm as truly excellent actors. I watched a lot of shows I’d missed out on previously from them both during the downtime of the pandemic, Life on Mars was an enduring favourite.

9. Who is your favourite actor in 4?

I mean… does it even need stating since DT is a lead in 3 of my 5 picks? Definitely David Tennant (although Blackpool sold me on David Morrissey as a great actor as well, he’d be a close second).

10. Which show do you prefer 1, 2 or 5?

Difficult. In terms of raw numbers, I’ve rewatched TTOI more than any of them, I used to play the four seasons on literal repeat for days. Good Omens makes me giddier than anything I’ve ever watched. But in terms of longevity of interest, I’d have to say DW.

11. Which show have you seen more episodes of 1 or 3?

That feels a very unfair comparison given Doctor Who is as long-running as it is, but yeah easily Doctor Who. 😅

12. If you could be anyone from 4, who would you be?

I guess Natalie?? Swept off her feet by a dreamy looking guy absolutely set on breaking law and morals to be with her? Yeah I’d be okay with that. 👀

13. How would you kill off your favourite character in 5?

Well, that’s Malcolm, so I guess shady political assassination? Something that generates conspiracy theories and memoirs and newspaper thinkpieces for years afterwards. It’s what he would have wanted. ✌️😔

14. Would a 3/4 crossover work?

Yes. Oh my god yes. 😶 Can you imagine?? People start breaking into song and Sam is convinced he’s off his coma meds again. Carlisle fully willing to out-shade Gene. The clash of Manchester and Scottish slang. DT and John Simm working together again, the chemistry.

Quick, somebody please slap together a fanvid or a fanfic or a headcanon or something, I am possessed by this idea. 🤯

15. Pair two characters in 1 that would make an unlikely, but strangely okay couple.

I’m gonna be basic and still think about the Doctor/Master pairing, but if we’re talking unusual iterations of it… Spymaster and Ten just absolutely outdoing each other in the needy olympics would be fascinating. Thirteen and Missy is a close second. Missy would so appreciate Thirteen’s barely-contained feral vibes. She’d wanna keep her on a leash, it’d be great.

16. Overall, which show has the better cast, 3 or 5?

Ooooh that’s so difficult. I love TTOI for the insane improv skills of Capaldi and the rest of the cast, but in terms of raw chemistry it’s gotta be LoM.

Tagging @linz33y @countessrivers @imdoingawesome @roxannepolice @tardis-ghost-blog @ten-nan-th-doctor @mothmanyeetus @best-enemies @bluebird-appreciator and really anyone else who wants to have a go! A lot of the questions are super fun to answer 😊

[bistaxx]

I'm still sorta catching up on everything and I have a lot of fucking thoughts... but honestly... hot take... circumstances aside this might be a good thing for them provided q!Cell is careful with what he does next ( which... idk man his mind is a whole 'nother can of worms rn-)

We can all agree that these two care a LOT about each other and they match quite well... but they definitely rushed into things during an intense time of their lives- I mean they hadn't even gone on their first date yet and were already engaged. They had just gotten out of a high adrenaline situation and were fresh off of realizing that they liked each other as more then friends and jumped to one of the furthest steps you can travel with a relationship on top of all the other shit that's going on in their lives rn. So, maybe they need this break right now before they actually do tie the knot, should that still be on the table for them.

I want them to make it work, but I also want it be healthy and for them to not just rush into things again just because they love each other... Cellbit's love for Roier, while genuine, can push him into dangerous places during this very stressful time for him- it is something that makes him happy and he does not want to let it go. He is very afraid of losing Roier and while Cellbit recognizes that Roier needs the space right won't try to pressure him to continue things I worry about this fear pushing him further into dark places while he's caught up in all of these painful emotions right now. Cellbit never ever wanted to hurt Roier ... but that fact is he still did... Right now it kinda feels like he is stuck on thinking about how he can fix things and make Roier happy when what would really make Roier happy would be taking the time to focus on helping himself recover from all the shit that's happened to prevent another incident and accidentally hurt Roier (and by extension himself) yet again. Cellbit is hot off the heels of stress after stress and we still don't know the full extent of what the federation even did to him- he loves Roier yeah and q!Cellbit has over the years made a lot of progress compared to the downright horrible person he once was, but the fact of the matter may be that Cellbit might not be in the right place for a relationship right now- especially something as serious as marriage.

And Roier, while doing the healthy and right thing with breaking things off, has already forgiven Cellbit which is a bit concerning given he literally killed his grandpa (real or not- the fact still stands he would've killed that old man)- I think he does still want to be with Cellbit, but he really needs to take the time to properly nurse the pain before going back into the heat of things- yes being with Cellbit made him happy but right now he feels very hurt and once again betrayed by someone he trusted with all his heart (and that first situation honestly didn't even happen that long ago) ... no matter how much he loves him Roier needs the time to consider if being with him is still good for him right now and if he can not only trust Cellbit again but be prepared for possibly being hurt again ( and I'm not saying that to push any of the responsibility of things going sour here off of q!Cell- he fucked up big time- I'm saying it because that's one of the hard parts of love- sometimes you will hurt your partner or get hurt by your partner even if there was no intention of hurt- and there's no shame with not being ready for that or not being able to forgive that.)

Both of them have been through a lot and I really want them to make it work but... well they gotta Make it work for things to Work, yeah :3

Wow this ended up being way longer then I intended- Basically- These two just need to slow down and take the time to sort things out- primarily with themselves rn... even if I have a nagging feeling that it may get worse before it gets better- ( because uhh,,, I mean- just- *gestures at the murderous traumatized tiny catboy* )

but uhhh I don't really wanna get my hopes up not because I don't have faith but man have I been burned badly before my track record with these things is fucking awful but like- I'm rooting for them I really am- can we have a ship that DOESN'T end tragically for once to spice things up please- can we have a wedding and mariage that DOESN'T END IN FLAMES PLEASE I 🙏

also yeh maybe I'm looking way too deep into the block game roleplay but dammit it's just so fun to do so LMAO

[almonddirge]

Three. Fucking. Years.

It’s been a while since the last update, so I’ll start from the beginning. When I started playing Genshin, I was in the middle of some of the worst months of a life. It was a saving grace during that time, truly.

I started on Ganyu’s first banner, but out of anxiety I didn’t pull until Xiao’s. I thought he looked cool and I thought I’d heard he was strong, so I went for it.

On his first banner, I came away without a 5 star. I’ve always been free to play, and I was hospitalized for several days during that banner, so it wasn’t too surprising. I was disappointed, but the next latch introduced reruns so I knew I had a chance.

A chance. Hmm.

By the time his next banner came, I was more prepared. I had actually been to Liyue at this point and fallen in love with his character, but just his design. I created a second account, because what were the chances I’d lose the 50/50 on both accounts?

Apparently high! I got Jean on my alt, then later Mona on main. I couldn’t pull another 5 star for that banner. I was crushed. I kept playing because I do genuinely love this game, but that was the first time a 50/50 loss had truly hurt me.

But it was okay! 2.7 came very soon after, and Ayana’s banner length helped me save up primogems. The problem? I was on 50/50, on both accounts, AGAIN!!

On main, I got Mona again. If you don’t know, which you probably don’t, I have a history with her. Specifically a c7 history. Anyway, I actually did pull Xiao on my alt! It felt like a huge win. To be honest, if I hadn’t pulled him then, I think I would’ve quit the game entirely. That’s how much I like him.

Well, that was a win, right? Nah, I need his c1, and I need him specifically on the account where I first tried pulling him.

3.4. I lost to Mona ON BOTH FUCKING ACCOUNTS!! I want you to know I’ve pulled her a total of 12 times across all banners and accounts. That’s more than every other standard character COMBINED.

This wounded me, but I couldn’t give up yet. I started saving on main until I had 180 fates and was determined to not dip lower. That, uhh, didn’t go as planned. I pulled a lot because I’m a gambling addict, but somehow I managed to get to 54 pity and 160 fates for today.

When his banner showed up, I spent a total of ~172 fates, pulling some from starglitter. I got Diluc at high pity. YOU FOOL. YOU INSOLENT FOOL. You thought you could stop me? You’d have to try harder than that! I’ve been burned too many times to let it happen again. I went to high pity again but I finally, finally pulled Xiao.

I immediately raised him to level 90 and triple crowned him. Cmon, it’s been over 3 years. Of course I came prepared. He has his little Jade Spear and 2300 attack with a 94/175 crit ratio. I plan to get even better artifacts some day.

So basically, after 3 whole years of failing to get Xiao on my main account, he’s mine and he’s thriving. I love him. He’s gonna go in my teapot and get his friendship maxed and HE WILL FUCKING LIKE IT.

[parknights]

Parknight imagines, miscellany 22: s20e17

She and Torres return with Mateen Jamaah in cuffs—after all, just because he's begging for their help one second doesn't mean they can ignore the fact that he was building a bomb the second before—and the tension remains thick in the bullpen, even with their prime suspect in custody.

Knight glances at Torres with a frown, though, which he either doesn't catch or he ignores, since the cocky agent and McGee escort Jamaah through the room and the back corridors to an interview room. That leaves Knight to catch Parker up.

Parker waits (he always waits, for her). But when she takes an extra moment, one more than usual, his stare lingers and he stands from behind his desk. "Knight?"

"Oh, sorry." She shakes her head. "Uhh… Three armed suspects. They got away and didn't leave us much evidence." Knight glances at her bag, which she set down at her desk minutes ago. "I have some shell casings for Kasie, but—"

"Knight."

Knight's attention returns to him, and she notes that Parker makes an effort to close the case folder in front of him. He exits his desk, too, to stand before her. He frowns and his shoulders drop half an inch.

"Normally you're a cool customer under pressure. Technically, under literal fire," he amends. He purses his lips and raises his eyebrows. "But you seem…jumpy. Something happen?"

She pauses and smiles automatically. "Nothing I couldn't handle."

Parker shakes his head. "Didn't say you couldn't." He pauses. "I'm all ears, though."

Knight's smile wavers. "You…probably wouldn't understand."

He shrugs and sits on the edge of his desk. With one hand, he gestures towards her, as if inviting her closer or giving her the floor. "Then make me understand," Parker says simply.

It's not the gesture but his words that make her heart skip a beat. He's not assuming to know anything or saying he understands from a clinical point of view—Parker wants to hear it from Knight, in her own words. So… She swallows a lump in her throat and admits, "…it felt all too familiar, this close call."

"How so?"

"Picking up Jamaah, being surrounded by his materials. Then taking cover and Nick stupidly shooting back when those perps showed up. I just." She squeezes her eyes shut tight for a split second. "I've been in that moment countless times for someone who's not a bomb tech." Knight exhales and glances at Parker, locking eyes with him since his eyes are trained on her.

His eyes briefly drop to her hands before returning to her face. "But you're no longer in that moment. You're here."

"Yeah."

"It's a tough thing to accept over and over again, isn't it?"

Knight nods. Her smile feels more genuine now, though brittle. She wrings her hands, one in the other, and laughs (just once, to expel her nervousness from the evening). "I'm sure you had your fair share of crapfests while at the FBI."

"Mm," he mumbles. Then Parker does hold out his hand, and he shakes it until Knight places hers in his, and he holds her hands until the shakes fade away. "Nothing quite like what you experienced during your REACT days, but I'll share some stories with you sometime."

And, when he holds on a little longer (when the shakes are long, long gone), Knight's smile doesn't feel brittle anymore when she drops her shoulders and says, "I'd like that."

-follow for more imagines & Parknight content-

@yearoftheotpevent (march: “make me” & acceptance)

[spider-man-2o99]

what are your favorite comics?

as tempted as i am to just say “i’ll give ya three guesses, and the first two don't count,” and leave it at that for the sake of The Funny, lol—

im not gonna let myself keep going on and on and on for too long, or else this post’ll never get made, but this isn't. like. Everything. brain is just scrampled egg rn so these r a little all over the place but. w/e here r the first “favorite” books that’ve come 2 my mind:

(under the cut because i Ramble*) (*let us also proceed knowing that classic spider-man/spider-man in general goes without saying b/c i am Not typing that much.)

- Spider-Man 2099 (1992) big surprise, i know. lay off! it was my first comic! looking back on it, i probably shouldn't have been reading it as, like. a 9-10(??) year old kid. but. y’know. pish-posh. when the chips’re down, sm2099 was what i had during a real rough time that spanned years without letup, and as a result sm2099 has been a Really Important Thing for me ever since. has the relative decade’s worth of Enrichment ultimately also been worth the requisite Nigh-Obsessive Brainrot? 🤷 i’unno. i’m predisposed to say “well, duh, dude, no shit it has been,” so that's that.

- Spider-Man 2099 Meets Spider-Man (1995) duh. (in seriousness: fun romp of a one-shot, nd i really like that mig and mj were kinda-friends,., .,,.,)

- Moon Knight (1980) MK v1 was the run that REALLY got me into comic books as something more than just a passive casual interest, back in, uhh-- early-early 2020, i think? it definitely... shows its age in not a great way, at times, but otherwise i can’t help but feel a fond affection for the first volume of MK. (Plus, on the art side of things, it’s really cool to see Bill Sienkiewicz developing his iconic signature style over the course of the run!!!)

- Immortal Hulk: The Threshing Place (2020) .......and tbh, every other Immortal Hulk one-shot, as well, but. Threshing Place especially has some just gorgeous art. I can’t stomach visual body horror very well most of the time, but I otherwise really like what I've been able to read of Immortal Hulk.

- Ms. Marvel (2014) genuinely a really good book and also the only Inhumans thing i like (in no small part, im sure, because there is not a lot of Inhumans stuff in it). starting to run out of spoons at this point so i’m just gonna be blunt if u hate kamala khan Fuck You

- Unbelievable Gwenpool (2016) unbelievable gwenpool is Good it’s a Good Comic marvel has just been absolutely massacring the character ever since it ended. in 2019 the Defiler leah williams took poor gwennie out behind the barn and basically just shot her in the back of the fucking head. we will probably never see the character in any significant or serious capacity ever again :(

- Superman’s Girlfriend, Lois Lane (1958-1973) culturally important to the medium of superhero comic books As We Know Them Today. also generally batshit insane to an objectively hilarious degree ❤️

+ honorable mention(s): that one green lantern story where hal jordan slipped on a bar of soap and bumped his head so hard he not only  was immediately rendered unconscious but then also fell promptly into a coma.

ALSO Blue Beetle (2006) it's been so long that i barely remember what happens in it but i Do Remember that it was Good. i really need to reread the run sometime soon...

[novaheart8]

I like this theory, but my hobby is trying to disprove theories, so this was my work on your theory. (N is Cyrus and Cynthia's child) It's wayyy too long to put here so I put it in a pastebin. It might feel passive-aggressive but honestly rn I'm just a little angry so it's nothing to do with you. Can't put links in questions so go to pastebin and put /UrFQjAJH after the link. If you don't know what pastebin is or something, well uhh idk what to say :P

Thank you for this!! I actually enjoyed reading it /g. I think there's a huge misunderstanding in the disproval of the theory concerning the timeline though, so I'll explain it more here if you'd like to read it (otherwise, you can skip ahead). Then, if you would like to make another argument, I'll be happy to read it!! /g (I CAN'T STRESS THE /GENUINE ENOUGH. I ENJOY DISCUSSIONS!!!)

The idea was always that N was kidnapped as a toddler/young child. Never as a baby. Because you're right! Ghetsis and the rest of Team Plasma would want nothing to do with a baby.

I'm not too sure where you got the "N is 14 during Unova" from. Because for my theory, he's 18 during BW (and therefore 20 in B2W2), and N was canonically designed to be around that age range (18-20) anyway. Which means, following that Unova took place 10 years later than Sinnoh, that N was 8 at that time period - meaning he's 3 years older than Team Galactic, and that actually helps me since I can pinpoint that N was kidnapped at 3! Thank you for that, since that was a detail I overlooked!

It is heavily implied, if not canon, that Cyrus is depressed due to the loss of Rotom (besides his parents emotionally neglecting him), because he had never felt so connected to a Pokémon. That much, I understand; and in fact, had I been up for writing any more, I would've written more about them! However, I simply haven't had the motivation to write more stories. In my eyes, the loss of Rotom was a separate life-changing event that happened much earlier to Cyrus (when he was still a child), and wasn't what pushed him to form Team Galactic and remake the world to be without emotion and spirit. The loss of his family is what I believe pushed him into that.

I'm not going to deny that the line that mentioned he cared about others was about his Commanders, because it absolutely was! But I like to think it was also about his family, though Cynthia, at this point, wouldn't acknowledge that.

Now, as far as my theory posting being a big part of the Mizuhikishipping tag, I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that there simply isn't a ton of recent Mizuhikishipping content besides this. I'm in the same boat with you in wishing that there were more posts for them!! Sorry if you're getting tired of seeing my posts though. I think tumblr has a feature that allows you to block tags? Maybe? If so, I always tag my theory posting as such (#the cyrus and cynthia are n's parents theory), so you can block that tag. Hopefully that'll free up some space as you look for other content!

Your friend should not, under any circumstance, push my theory down your throat. I am deeply flattered they believe in my theory, but at the end of the day, it is just a theory, and is very likely not going to be made canon, no matter how much anyone would like for it to be. I'm sorry that happened to you, and I know I'd feel the same way in your situation.

I hope this all leaves you with a better impression. Again, if you want to talk more about it, you can leave me another pastebin link or something! I'd be happy to discuss this theory with you, since it's something I treasure, and knowing its flaws can help me to fortify it. Thank you so much for your time, and I hope you have a wonderful day/night, anon! ❤

[fadebolt]

people dont like every slugcat being male except artificer because it kind of implies some weird things

people only headcanon arti as female because they had kids. but like, noone hcs gourmand or survivor as female despite also canonically having children in their endings

it implies some weird things like arti HAS to be a mother because only a mother would be enraged by their kids deaths. it makes no sense why survivor and gourm arent seen as female in the larger community

that or it implies some real weird stuff about why gourmand is headcanoned as male (probably because fat men are widely more accepted than fat women, which is a whoole other issue)

overall its just Weird. its kind of like male is seen as the “default gender” until they do something remotely feminine

Hey, uhh, sorry for taking a while to respond to this. As you could probably tell, I was feeling rather exhausted and stressed during the week, so I thought it might be better to answer after I could catch a little break, and have a much clearer head. Moodiness can make people say and do unreasonable things, and other people refusing to even tolerate me while I'm genuinely trying my hardest to be polite is something that tends to irk me, even when I'm feeling great otherwise. But I'll promise to try and handle this stuff a little better in the future, and just not let it get to me again (or at least not make problematic ramblings in moments when I very clearly shouldn't).

Anyways, as for your points, I'd say I sort of agree. Kids cartoons have absolutely set this problematic trend of "if you see a monster/creature/animal/machine/whatever non human entity, it is male, unless it has specific female traits or features" and this is simply such a common pattern that for a lot of people, it is nigh impossible to start assessing media without it (cus humans do have a hard time ditching their patterns). And wouldn't you know it, excessively caring and overprotective parenting where the children are pretty much the character's whole world, just so happens to be one of those said 'female traits or features'.

And is this an issue? Well, kinda, yeah. There's a good reason why media has been trying to subvert this for a long while, and I always love to see these characters that possess traits which are usually associated with the opposite gender (for the overly caring parent example - think Marlin from Finding Nemo), or female creatures that straight up possess zero of the feminine traits that tend to be used to identify non humans as female (think something like Rek'Sai or Naafiri from League). I could think of many more examples for both these categories, which I'm honestly very grateful for, because I do feel like it would really suck if we would have hard-set rules for what male and female characters are allowed to be, which would not only be a problem for the future of media and art, but it would also likely end up having an extraordinarily shitty impact on society.

However, the problems start kicking in when people are beginning to demand that you never portray male and female characters with any of their common stereotypes. And to an extent, I get it, but sometimes, those things might actually work, and restricting creators from using them is going to not only create needless conflict, but will also make it more difficult for them to see their artistic visions through. I understand that people would do this to solve a problem, but the issue is that we're swinging too far to the other side. We can uplift the non conformists without belittling the conformists, especially when we're in a fandom, a place where all kinds of people can unite over their love for a piece of media, as a way to relax and have harmless fun in their free time.

And also just because some people portray their characters a certain way, it doesn't mean that they're setting universal truths that everybody must follow. Just because someone thinks "Oh, an animal getting outraged over the deaths of their kids... sounds like a mother to me!", it doesn't mean that they're trying to spread this notion that a father couldn't react in the same way, similarly to how headcanoning Gourmand as male doesn't automatically make someone hate fat women. Are there a few people where these concerns might actually be true? Absolutely, but to claim that they make up the majority, just feels like a wild over exaggeration. And making these sorts of judgemental assumptions over fictional headcanons just doesn't sit right, at least with me.

I know I've written a boatload here (sorry xd), but I really wanted to fully express my thoughts, especially after the whole fiasco. This might sound surprising, but I'm genuinely grateful that you've sent these asks, not only to get me to my senses, but also to actually engage with me on this topic in a meaningful manner. To me, it really doesn't matter if someone else's opinion differs from mine. I'm willing to hear and consider it, and it makes me very happy when the other side is also willing to hear and consider mine. This is how we learn and grow after all, and is a way better strategy than just shutting ourselves into an echo chamber with a bunch of yes-men, and being mad at everybody outside of it... which is something I hope will not be a common phenomenon in this community. This fandom is very important to me, and the last thing I would want is to see it turning into a warzone between a bunch of isolated camps that viciously hate each other (though I am very frightened that the post might be contributing to us heading towards that direction, hence why it felt so awful for me to be silenced... let's just pray that it won't have any nasty consequences, like community members getting harassed or something).

So thank you, for coming here and giving me a chance to speak. It means a lot, and you'll always be welcome here, no matter how badly we might disagree on something. I'll make sure to try and be open to what you, or anybody else might have to say, and I encourage everybody else to do the same (unless that things is a blatant unconstructive insult meant to do nothing but harass, but that's beyond the point xd)

[bougiebutchbitch]

Oh Bougie!! ;-; I'm so sorry to hear that you've been having a rough time. For what it's worth, I'm so proud of you for taking the step to switch courses - I know it's not something you WANTED to do, I know it's like... a sad feeling, acceptance. But I'm still proud of you for knowing what you're able to handle at the moment and accommodating that (I'm sorry if I didn't phrase that very cleanly, it's uh, it's been a day) but hey I am sending you so much love. It's a very lonely feeling to not be able to do something you desperately want to do because you're limited by chronic pain or your own body just generally Not Cooperating With You, I've unfortunately had that experience as well where I had a dream career and everything lined up for me and my disabilities just, uh, held me back from advancing. I've had to consider having to rely on disability benefits and uhh idk, it's! just! not a great feeling! It's a very upsetting feeling and my heart goes out to you. I wish I had the power to snap my fingers and make everything magically better for you ;-; of course, please don't feel obligated to respond to this if you don't have the spoons, I just wanted to send some kind words your way, if I may, my liege ♡

And OH NO!!! Not your blorbo from your shows!!! 😭😭 I'm so sorry... ahhh I guess this is what fix-it fics are for, I suppose, but STILL... such a heavy feeling when we lose our blorbos. We get so invested into these characters and then they either get heavily mistreated or killed off!! What's up with that!! I'm sorry you have to mourn on top of everything else. Honestly, I get so invested into these fictional characters, I'll make a self insert and I'll have them quite literally jump INTO the universe, I'll write them saving the character before the Death Scene™ happens, and then everything is Fine :) Sometimes I even have the self insert have this uh idk, power I guess you'd call it, where they have a star in the palm of their hands, and they can push the star into the chest of the character who had died, so it like... revives their soul, or their heart, or whatever. It's so overpowered and so silly, doesn't make sense at all, but hey!! it's SO fun and it genuinely helps me feel better to think about that character walking around with a piece of the galaxy in their chest and they're Alive and Fine and Breathing and Everything Is Okay sdlfjslfd. I'm saying this just to, like, try to empathize, that losing a character can literally hurt SO badly, and I understand that sometimes it hurts *so* badly you'd really do anything to bring 'em back. I hope you will be able to either write some good fix-it fics for yourself, or find some good ones out there if you do not have the spoons to write one for yourself. Losing a character, especially during a hyperfixation, is such a painful feeling. I wish you didn't have to go through that when you're hurting right now 😭😭 again, my heart is going out to you. I love u so much. I apologize if I sound like a broken record sdflkjsdlf

Thank you for allowing me to send you little starburst messages into your inbox! Half of the time I don't even know what to say except "hi! I love you!" but I just love to interact with you. You're such a joy and I am so lucky you're a part of my life, however big or small our moments are when our paths may cross on this hellsite. You actually reblogged a few of my artworks at one point I think a year ago and I still get so overwhelmingly happy when I think about it, like "omg I've peaked!! I've made it!! I have impressed Bougie my beloved!!" 😂😂 Anyway I'm just saying this because umm idk I just, I love you and I care about you and I really wish that you didn't have to be hurting, emotionally or physically. I am sending you so so so much love Bougie, you're always in my thoughts and I'm always wishing the best for you, because you deserve the best. You deserve so much happiness!!!! I am sending you little star-shaped wishes and dreams to lift your spirits!!! ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ !!! -🌟

I wuv u so so so so much. Seriously, thank you - for the well wishes and commiserations. Health is such a blessing, and such a burden when it fails you. Having to readjust your life trajectory around your disability can truly tear you apart on a fundamental level, but I'm very lucky to have an incredibly supportive family, faculty team, and healthcare crew. I will find a direction that is suitable for my body's needs, and I will cling to it with all my teeth like a rabid dog. I hope you have found something in your life to keep you moving forwards too, no matter what it is, no matter how small!

I'm gonna spend the rest of the evening being floppy and small as I languish under the weight of oh-so-many emotions, but your messages are truly a gift and I cherish them! You are a bright and beautiful star. Shine on xxx