#because god the health is bad rn
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My sleep schedule lately has been 6am-9am and 11am-5pm, which is not super great tbh, so today I tried to stay awake by walking to the coffee shop and getting a nice coffee and pastry, which worked for a bit but now it's 1:30pm and I'm super sleepy so I thought "I'll just nap from 1:30pm-2:30pm and that'll fix me" but I can't fall asleep. But I'm too tired to do anything. So guess I'll die??
#why yes i am worried about how much sleep i need#thank you for asking#i literally wasted my last three days by just sleeping through them#which is not great for my mental or physical health#i havent done any research into this yet but i feel like it might be vitamin d deficiency#that makes you tired right?#i know when i was younger i was deficient and they thought that was why i was depressed#pretty sure the guy just did not take my mental illness symptoms seriously because i was young so he blamed it all on deficiency#not saying i wasnt deficient. just saying that not all of my symptoms could be explained by that and i feel like he overlooked some#and last time i saw a doctor they said im d deficient too. so i took supplements for awhile but only because i got them on sale#theyre expensive when theyre not on sale. so i stopped#but now im thinking of maybe getting more and also a sun lamp#because my life is very sad when i spend all of my waking time exhausted and all of my free time sleeping#today is a rare energy day#and i feel like its because its almost sixty degrees and sunny and i took a little walk#im gonna mske some pasta salad and shower snd take my dog for a walk#so hopefully thatll help even further#because god the health is bad rn#edit: i just ordered some vitamin d gummies and a sun lamp#hopefully thatll fix my brain because tbh im at the end of my rope rn and i need some help climbing
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the only thing that keeps me going in the school year is academic validation
#i am nothing without praise from teachers/my talent search woman officer thing#and my parents#last year i was crumbling because i kept getting sick and my grades dropped so much#not this year#i cannot do that again#god i always feel like my mental health is better during summer#i just get so bad during the school year#tw for relapse in this last bit don't continue if that's something you can't handle rn 🫶#also i always end up relapsing in the school year#with everything#my ed flares up so bad during school and my coping mechanism for that is not any better#im just trying to stay positive but its kinda hard when all of my thoughts are fighting in my head#bugs junk#vent#sorry guys#like#really sorry#i know i try to keep in positive and funny here#ill be fine soon my posts Will be normal again and sharks/mlm stuff again
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If I take a second to breathe and think and 3 seconds into it someone calls me over the radio to come clean something they could do themselves again I'm going to actually scream
#like god I knkw I'm the only usher here rn cuz im the opening usher on saturdays but FUCK#give me a second tk fucking BREATHE#I HATE when I'm doing something and one of the managers calls and is like actually can you stop what you're doing even though what you're-#-doing is more important and come sweep up this like 3 cernal popcorn spill literally right next to us that we could get ourselves but won'#I hate this job so much I want to quit so bad#somebody else hire me right now so I can leave this shithole#and also have a real job that pays mlre than 10 bucks and hour so I can actually pretend to be a semi functional adult#I can't even pretend right now#I've been stuck in limbo for the last 2 years at least and I really don't know how I'll ever get out#I probably won't let's be honest because I wasn’t born into a world where that's possible anymore#and my mental health has only been slowly but surely deteriorating for even longer than that but it's really crashed and burned lately#but i'm trying#and I honestly don't want to try anymore#I'm so tired
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does anyone know when life is supposed to calm down. does anyone know when it all ends
#im so exhausted.#ive got a fucking annoying headache and i had a nightmare earlier and im just having a bad day#and now im literally dealing with bpd^2 rn like.#my ex is having a really hard time because her moms health is declining and shes being put in a really hard position#and shes horribly stressed out but she feels guilty about feeling like her life is falling apart bc her mom obviously has it worse#and i know what thats like and i know its just going to be hell for her now and i cant fix that#and i just like. god if i could take all of her pain i would#she doesnt deserve the horrible fucking set of cards she was dealt#my nightmare was actually originally that i went to the hospital with her to see her mother#it did not end remotely related to that but it just. yeah not great#also struggling bc i dont know how to handle people i like (separately than her) being in relationships or liking other people#it is so. so fucking. i dont even know its like physically painful and when i see them talk about it it like ruins my whole day and#its so hard to handle these mood swings and like. Have A Life#its why i got off tumblr like i just cant. i cant have all these feelings and still be okay most of the time#it feels like im trying to stay afloat but every day the ball and chain on my ankle gets exponentially heavier#idk. i just like. cant regulate my emotions. whatsoever. clearly#jace.txt
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SIU-nim is taking a break, it seems again.
#i remembered when it took him way too long to return because [this work] took a toll on his health#and when the anime/manga news outlets annouced that tog webtoon was returning i was so happy i couldn’t catch my breath haha#then i remembered of the fact that i was just finished catching up to the latest chapter and [the news] happened the next day#felt like my prayer has been granted as fast as a lightning#while it brought me an utmost happiness… i felt terribly bad and worried for SIU-nim’s health condition#i hope he gets well soon peacefully… without the need to continue drawing for awhile#it must’ve been harder for manga/manhwa authors to keep up with their series while realizing their health is at stake from time to time#but hopefully all of them don’t push themselves otherwise it could’ve burned them out#and the process to get through the completion of their own series will be ruined completely#and i hope the editors or the publishers don’t push them too#sorry for this rant i was supposed to get some rest since i’m sick rn but i can’t sleep even if i have consumed two strong pills#but anyways i’ll be waiting!#also ignore every grammar mistakes i just noticed them smh#tog#tower of god#tog webtoon
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Thinking about how an old family friend gave me a "joke present" for my 7th birthday that was a book "for hypochondriacs" listing all the lethal things that a mundane symptom could be and how she thought it was so funny to make fun of my constant anxiety over my own health. Wonder how bad she'd feel realizing that that sort of mockery is genuinely part of why I almost died once and why it took so long to be diagnosed with so many things.
#having a bad night over health anxiety rn and like#I know that its justified now. I know that its Completely justified for me to worry about my heart#I have a disorder that could very easily affect it and it keeps randomly hurting#and I can't get it checked out for 6+ months#But I still feel like an idiot for worrying about it because haha oh clem you worry so much its so funny#ughhhh god. I'm so tired of being ill. So tired of never knowing if I'm worrying too much or not enough#I should've had this appointment over a year ago and now its going to take So long still#and I just want to know for sure if my heart is ok#negative
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I think one thing God is trying to teach me rn is my own powerlessness and dependence.
#first noahffence is dating another online dating app girl#she seems nice but I feel bad for her#and ultimately I have to completely abandon everything about that to God#because even though noahffence is my friend (now)#he has to continue to make his own mistakes#and I am not someone who needs to be asked advice#it doesn't bother me that he's in a relationship for my own selfish reasons#only thing that bothers me is that I think he's once again making a mistake based on his own desires#but the thing is I am not in a position to judge the foolishness of others#and even if I were I'm not in the position to call anyone out on that#and again people have got to make THEIR OWN mistakes and no amount of anyone telling them otherwise will stop that#anyway secondly I have a chick who isn't quite thriving#she's smaller than all the res#hasn't eaten very much today but at least she's drinking and she had a bowel movement this evening#but there's really nothing I can do for her#her health is in the hands of the God who feeds the sparrows in the sky#I personally can do nothing in this situation#I have to rely on God and see how it plays out and accept it either way#so yeah#dependence is the theme rn#and I know it'll segue into my sin life probably sooner than I realize
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Okay yeah not to be depressing on main or anything but I am currently dying of the tension between all my closest friends being in [place1] but [place2] being the place where I know how to and want to actually live, where my entire network is, where I would rather have a job, and where I don’t feel like I want to die when I think about living there for the long term
#but also i miss my friends and i'm gonna be sad if the school year starts and i can't be there participating in things#but also living there is just like. I Want To Die.#probably just as well that i have the apt though that'll make me have to go back :')#which is good for my mental health in some ways because i'm really genuinely happy with the community i have there#but also like god i can't imagine living in a place that isn't [place2]#the idea of getting a job in [place1] is uhhh. making me absolutely miserable#and i literally have like 2+ jobs i could probably get if i lived in [place2] so that's cool :'))))#i should never have gone somewhere else for uni that was the worst mistake (it wasn't but it sure does feel like it rn)#sorry i'm just ummm Depressed™. as the kids say#everything is scary and bad and i don't like it at all#perce rambles
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time for me to overshare my life frustrations in the tags!
#so not only do I have this god awful dizziness#I also have an infection called pityriasis#which is basically an ugly itcht rash on my back#and the steroids for that make me feel bad#PLUS ya girl probably most likely has IBS#and I've started a diet because I'm going on 3 beach vacations this summer#but guess what!#everything healthy causes me terrible gut problems!#anyways just really going through it health wise rn 🥵#thankfully seeing my doctor in less than an hour and I love her and trust her to help me#but goddamn#this is a Lot#shut up shelby#personal?
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,
#vent tw#vent#i hate this#i hate how strong i have ti be for my health#how much longer do i have to got through this pain#every day is an actual hell to go through#it hurts it hurts so much#i have to just hold on until my next appointment#but its taking so much out of me just to go one with my day#im so tired of dealing with myself of dealing with people#it hurts my body my brain it all hurts so much#im so scared all the time because of my health and i have to pretend like im not to move on with my day#i dont bring my health up with others because i dont want to be negative and i just power through to meet their expectations#but god im starting to reach ny limits of crashing and burning bc of my health its bad#not hospital bad but disable my daily life so i cant do anything at all but barely exist in bed bad#its hard to even focus on a game or social media with how my health is#but i have to power through and just stay strong until my next appointment. I made it this far i can make it to the 28th#im trying to get as much done as i can becaus I hate feeling useless and I KNOW its bad but whats worse is my guilt if i dont do it#its so hard to eat w/o getting sick immediately its so hard to think without my brain hurting its literal hell for me rn#but i really try not to talk abt it bc i hate being a fucking downer or being the center of attention despite the fact that its important
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the powerhouse of autism inertia fueled by the water wheel of ADHD spiralling though
#when are we gonna start blaming our parents for fucking up a generation this bad lol#cause like at a certain point we all have these fucking problems because we grew up#in a society that didnt care.about us and raised us faulting us for being like this#so im really fuxking pissed.off at how much of humanity has been left behind in every circle rn#the world war the genocide the mental health the minorities like god THIS FUCKING SUCKS
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i finally figured out how to deal with the raiden shogun weekly boss
#⇢₊˚⊹ 🩷∥ruby∥yo，ide yo !!#without fucking dying every two seconds at least because i refuse to level up noelle just to be a shield bot#she'll get her time to shine whenever i build a mono geo team#but until then i really have to focus on my current two main teams#literally half of them are newly acquired and therefore barely leveled#anyway#green regen food is much better than blue instant health food#i think this time i only had to revive once or twice#(yeah i know it's bad bad esp considering i'm ar 50+，but cut me some slack okay i'm a mobile player)#and all the food and potion buffs i can cough up#boy howdy my frog count is crying rn#yk for my chong still only being at c0 (which is depressing i hope to god he comes back to the event banner with either yoimiya or kazuha)#(it's been too long hoyo. last time was literally itto's first rerun. make it happen goddamn it)#(as i was saying)#and also for having ass artifacts (so sorry my son ;-; but tbf every single character i own has random bullshit artifacts)#(i'm holding off on artifact farming until my two teams are fully ascended and have at least decently upgraded talents)#(probably an inefficient decision，but i'd rather use my resin on materials i'm definitely going to need instead of sending resin#down the drain for what's most likely still going to be ass artifacts that are only good for fodder)#(ANYWAYS) he actually manages to hit numbers above 5k semi-regularly. which is still bad to most i know. but again#this is a c0，horrendously built chong#just let me be happy with this milestone okay ;-; it wasn't too long ago that 2k would make me entirely too happy#man i sure rambled in this post huh
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why do i have to have debilitating anxieties, mental issues, depressive episodes, high expectations, and responsibilities. like girls just wanna have fun </33
#warning: long tags#if you want to reblog don't acknowledge the vent tags. just reblog#babble#/nav#free to reblog#ok kind of a vent:#i am like. so anxious right now#like y'all get anxious whenever a person just like types differently?#because goodness gracious oh the dread i have rn#and plus i've just been bad this whole month#i think the people around me are starting to get mad at me for being so...just...escapist rn#and just. i don't know what to do#tw for talk of bad mental state and previous and possible future suicidal thinking btw <3#anyways i just fucking NEED to escape. i NEED to keep myself destracted and constantly happy or constantly busy#because if i don't i KNOW i'll fall back into the same state i was in back in middle school#and that time was...so so bad. god i thought so poorly during that time. i can't go back to that. i really can't do that again#but all my main friends are having the worst times right now and now that i'm getting out of the apathy state#i feel like i need to stay together just for them. and just. that staying together was the worst bullshit ever. it hurt. so much#for context in middle school i was besties with two people with literally the worst mental health#and i was like the therapy friend because i HAD to be. and just#i couldn't y'know?#so just. i feel like it's finally affecting the last person i've really talked to on a normal basis and just#i've pulled away so much already from rhat friend group and i feel so bad because i know i'm accidentally pulling away from them#but i just. can't think. i can't think or i'll fucking break#god i wish nobody ever knew me. i can't have a forever friend i'd just fuck it up. god#to not break i'm unpresent and i'm just realizing how bad that'd affect some of my friends#and just. this is how i am. i'm so sorry#i start losing that false sense of normalcy i start fucking leaving because i can't deal with my life#i'm sorry#tag limit </3 don't mind me and don't respond to my vent
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A big warm hug for you bestie ❤❤❤
Thank you 😭 things have been really really hard lately so it means a lot 💕
#my work bestie had extra of the meds I take so the withdrawals have been stopped in their tracks but oh my god it was bad earlier#and my fever is back#and my mental health is suffering rn because I haven’t been able to leave the house#tried to work today because I’m missing so many hours… it did not go well at all#ugh#just doing so not well lately#so things like this are v v appreciated#ask#anon
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Hey! Love your writing oneshots so much💗💗. I was thinking abt Adam whos surprisingly being subby bitch for female reader, its up to you whether shes a demon or angel. Do your thing!
MDNI
A/N: Guess who’s back bitchesssssss! >:D sorry it took so long for me to come back, my mental health was real bad, but it’s slightly better now! So I have returned to feed you feral trash pandas, queer possums and fancy rats (lovingly). Updates may be slow because im still very busy but I plan to do a bunch of requests so stay tuned! (ALSO I MAY START WRITING FOR CREEPYPASTA. I’m not much into the fandom though so idk lol)
So Adam always comes off as a Dom to most people right?
Bragging about how he makes you “scream his name” every night
Acting like he’s the one domming you
Presenting himself as a high and mighty god in the bedroom
But that’s all completely wrong
Because what people don’t see is how much of a little fucking bitch he is for you
How he’s often tied up in the bedroom, hands tied above him with a pretty red ribbon
Chest adorned with intricate ties and knots
Legs forcefully spread open, presenting himself to you shamelessly
his wings strapped down behind him, ruffled and twitching
His face red, hair messy and tangled from your hands digging into his scalp
Shoulders covered in bite marks, and back decorated beautifully with scratches (*Cough* masochist *cough*)
Eyes blown out with with lust staring down at you, filled with tears as you tear away yet another orgasm from him
his throat is scratchy from begging, the only sounds he can make out now are slurred, sentences as only being fragments and whines and moans of your name as he drools all over himself
He’s honestly so fucking bratty
He loves pushing your buttons, riling you up so you can fuck his brains out later
pretty loud honestly, but luckily he has soundproof walls, because he would probubly die if anyone ever hear how whiny he could be
honestly so up for public sex, push him up against the wall in a far back alleyway and make him forget his own name
Closet sex? Hell yeah
but you gotta gag him otherwise all of hell and heaven would be able to hear him
He won’t ever shut the fuck up so we know he’s good with his tongue.
Aftercare is usually consisted of you tryna get towels to clean him up and him whining and bitching
A/N: Kinda shitty rn because I’m doing this in like a severe thunderstorm with a high probability of tornadoes and I hate that bs so likeeeee- yeah
#hazbin x reader#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel headcanons#hazbin headcanons#headcanons#hazbin hotel smut#Hazbin hotel adam#hazbin hotel adam smut#hazbin hotel adam x reader#adam hazbin hotel#adam hazbin#hazbin adam#adam hazbin hotel smut
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Spencer Reid x Famous!Reader
Part 1. Part 2.
Synopsis: After your home is broken into by a stalker, your bf cheats, the FBI is called and a new romance begins to take over.
Told through Instagram posts
TW for mentions of stalkers
e!news
Liked by y.n.is.life, user753 and 79,642 others
e!news ‼️BREAKING‼️ Police called to Y/n L/n home after attempted break in by armed perpetrator.
Sources say Y/n was home with her boyfriend, singer Matt Carter, at the time of the break in but security chased him away.
This is not the first time an attempted break-in has been made on Y/n's property.
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y.n.is.life Oh. My. God. Praying she's okay rn 🙏🏽
user732 Why are ppl so disgusting. She's a human being. 🤬
y.nfan HE WAS ARMED 😭 so glad security chased him away!!!
user864 She must've been terrified 😢
jojo396 NOT THE FIRST TIME?!?!?!?! STAY SAFE Y/N
yourinstagram
Liked by taylorswift and 238,9736 others
yourinstagram To my fans. Due to recent events it is with a heavy heart that I will be postponing my tour for the foreseeable future. I am so, so, sorry. The horrific events of these past few days have shaken me to my core. We have discussed this back and forth for hours and we decided that for your safety and my own this was the right course of action. Please keep your tickets and we will try and get new dates ASAP. Thank you for all your love and support. I love you all. Y/n and YourTourName Team. 💜
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fan872
Liked by y.n.stan and 16,762 others
Fan872 I'm going to be fucking SICK. Y/n's boyfriend Matt is in Greece with some random girl!!!!!! They've been papped kissing and at restaurants!
Her house got broken into FOUR days ago and someone tried to attack her. She CANCELLED her tour due to safety concerns and HES IN GREECE CHEATING 🤬🤬🤬🤬
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user men☕️
y.n.is.mother WTF!!!!! SCUMBAG!!!!!
Liked by 412 others
stan.y/n GUYS THATS BECCA!!!! Y/NS BEST FRIEND!!!!!!
matt.is.life No it isn't. Stfu. Stop spreading rumours
stan.y/n Uhhh yes it is.... open your eyes
sarah12 You can't even see her properly?
youralbumname13 Poor Y/n!!! 💔
user Love isn't real. Stg. 😭😭
stan.y/n they were so good together!!!!!
matt.fan I feel so bad for him. The pressure he's under. He needed a break from this
fan872 YOU FEEL BAD FOR HIM?! HIM?!
y.n.matt.4ever SHE ALMOST GOT ATTACKED AND YOU FEEL FOR HIM?!?!?!?!
user234 siding with the cheater💀Gross
selena.fan No. Just no.
rach12 And cheating was the way to go??
e!news
Liked by celeb.news and 81,624 others
e!news ‼️BREAKING‼️FBI arrive at Y/n L/n's condo in New York.
This comes after a second stalker incident.
Y/n's team has refused to comment.
View all 4,826 comments
y/n123 How is she going through all this? 😭
username3 Poor Y/n! WE LOVE YOU ❤️
user1name Why's she in NY??
y/n.becca.drama Where have you been?
user926 Her home got broke into in L.A. Then her bf cheated on her with her best friend.
user1name OMFG?!?!?!
mama.sel OF COURSE THEY DIDNT COMMENT?!?!?!?!?! WTF?!
lovebecca
Liked by spill.the.tea, beccamc and 4,173 others
lovebecca Becca has been receiving so much hate and death threats after recent photos of her and Matt Carter have surfaced online.
This is absolutely disgusting!! Cancel culture at its finest, yet again.
She hasn't done anything wrong.
Y/n stans are crazy and will do anything to make her look good and innocent in the media.
Y/n and Matt had broke up because Matt couldn't cope with the stress and his mental health deteriorated. So, Becca and Matt went to Greece together to cheer him up.
They're adults.
Grow up.
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justice.for.becca 💯💯 FACTS
y/nnnn I've never seen someone so wrong b4 😂
queen.tyler Ummm. No? She literally went on holiday with Y/n's bf while they're still together and going through a traumatic experience?
jessicat She's literally a home wrecker
ethan4 Imagine taking Y/n's terrifying experience and spinning it into an excuse for why you cheated 💀💀
Liked by 917 others
queen.y/n The Devil works hard but Matt Carter works harder.
e!news
Liked by y.n.fan and 43,962 others
e!news Singer Y/n L/n has first public outing since the attempted break in of her home and break up with boyfriend, Singer Matt Carter.
Y/n, 24, was pictured in New York earlier today with her FBI protection.
The recent Grammy winner cancelled her tour stating security issues and mental health issues to be the cause two weeks ago.
Just days later, then boyfriend Matt Carter was spotted in Greece with Y/n's best friend Becca McKay. The two pictured in intimate moments together have led to online speculations that the two are now dating even though Matt was in a relationship at the time.
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user74 That agent though 🥵
ginaxx I know!!! He can protect me!
y.n.stan Look how thin she is 😭😭😭
hater927 "Mental health" mmmkay snowflake
bi.queen You get stalked, have someone threaten your life and have your bf cheat on you with your best friend and THEN we'll talk about your mental health. 🤡
grow.up.y/n She looks gross 🤮
y/nnnn The irony of your name.
love.you.y/n So happy you're going back outside!!! Stay strong ❤️
everything.y/n
Liked by harrypottah2 and 6,826 others
everything.y/n Y/N CONTENT!! I'm so so so happy that she feels comfortable posting again. Even if comments are heavily monitored.
I missed her so much! I hope everything is going OK with her and she's staying safe.
P.s. she also deleted every single pic of Matt and Becca off her IG. We Stannnnnnn!!!
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girl.bossss Even her shadow slays 😭
dantheman She seems comfortable around the FBI. I'd be tense all the damn TIME
oui.oui. her deleting every trace of them is such a power move!!! Revenge era.
y/n.queen SHES AT THE PIANO! WHATS SHE WRITING?!?!?!?!?!?!
matt.fan The pic of them 2 in the HP robes is so cute 🥹
bye.segual. Was. Was so cute. Not now
hate.y/n Her need for attention is sad
doc.martina Why are you HERE THEN?
yourinstagram
Liked by taylorswift and 12,836,923 others
yourinstagram Figuring out what to do next has been one of the hardest things to do. After thinking it over for the past month we have all agreed that being on stage is the right thing for me right now. Life tests us all and this is my test and I will not lose. I will not back down. You all mean so much to me than you will ever know and Yourtourname will continue in NYC in two weeks. Your support has filled my heart with so much love. Stay safe. I'll see you soon 💜
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#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid fanfiction#famous!reader#spencer reid#celebrity!reader#fake insta post#spencer reid x famous!reader
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