#because god the potential of sam finding ben and telling him to go home that he doesn’t need to do this

[quantumleapt]

Still frustrated in leapboot’s decision last season to bring back the evil leapers and not have the rogue leaper be Sam…

[winderlylandchime]

1/2 Apologies for sending these two updates so late unfortunately i was required to be an adult with a job which is why I’m sending these a little late. Anyway let’s just go straight into 4x09: in case anyone wondered, he still dances to the intro (the song has also joined his playlist). Scene starts with the lasers and Brian’s crotch/radiation or whatever: ‘what the fuck.. VIC, what are you doing? I miss you so much Vicky boo (Vic says that ‘you might have a few good years like me’ line) IS THAT WHY THEY HAD BRIAN SAY THAT? To do a little parallel or what? Oh shit, he’s doing radiation. ALL ALONE?! WHAT THE FUCK. YOU NEED BLONDIE’ the groan that he just let out because of ben still being jealous over Michael, holy shit he hates him right now. ‘BRIAN! THE NURSE SAID TO GO HOME! Why are you at work! This is why we need Justin back (justin is waiting for him) oh never mind, great minds think alike. Brian be nice towards the love of your life. Cynthia, my girl.. my woman.. don’t listen to him. Help Justin get Brian back’ The scene where Justin gets angry at Michael came up ‘oh WAIT THATS LIKE THAT TIME IN THE LAST SEASON WHEN MIKE TOLD BRI..wait no, this is different BUT I AGREE GOOD FOR YOU JUSTIN! Fuck you mike!…wait do Lindsay and Melly know Bri Bri has cancer? They need to find out!’ ‘Yeah, fuck you Mike! Tell him Justin! No dont honor those wishes Blondie! Go get your man back! There is no way that he would just leave a sick Brian all alone. Mike *waves his hands all over the place frantically* do something good for once’ and the scene with Ben and his student is up ‘wow..he actually found someone that doesn’t think he’s boring. Congrats benny’ ‘Emmett, baby i will cook for you! Even though i did start a fire in my apartment because i forgot to add water to my noodles but it happens to everyone’ the scene with Ted and Brian is up ‘Teddy!! Its nice to see him back. Oh no, Brian, he doesn’t look good. See! Ted can tell something is up! Wait.. he thinks he’s on drugs? (Ted says that iconic caffeine line) okay now IM feeling attacked..BRIAN, TELL HIM! OH MY GOD HE TOLD HIM! *pauses ep* Ted is the first person he actually told himself. Fuck this is big. I knew there was potential here, it only took drugs, rehab and cancer. (Ted starts stuttering in shock) THATS HOW I REACTED TOO TED! Its horrible, i know! He’s so sweet, all ‘could you excuse me for a moment’ what a cutie, i lov-(brian pukes) oh…okay.. still polite though. THIS IS WHY WE NEED JUSTIN! Ted call Justin!’ He paused the ep on Brian laying down after he tells Ted to call him a cab and he put his hand on his chin and actually teared up. Just staring at Brian all sick. And now we’re back at Ben and his student ‘oh come on! Nobody gives a shit. Ben, don’t take this the wrong way but i don’t care.’ ‘SHANDA AND EMMETT! (Em introduces himself) im sorry, you expect me to believe that they didn’t know each other before that horrible thing happened? Please, my baby Emy has all the drag queens numbers just like moi!’ ‘MIKE WANTS TOM CRUISE TO BE RAGE? I doubt scientology allows that. I cant think of any actor that would be good rage… although in season 1 i did think he kinda looked like that dude from 70s show *whispers to himself* nobody can be rage but Brian..*looks at his cat* aint that right Brian?’ Carl says he’s been seeing someone ‘so stop seeing them. Oh wait like as in romantic?! NOOOO CARL HAS A GIRLFRIEND?! WHAT THE FUCK? But I kinda like him now!’ And Ted’s presentation is up and he immediately started laughing ‘wait wait wait, isnt this how it was in the pilot or something like that? I swear Brian was tossing an apple while doing a presentation as well *looks at me scared* or did i make that up? YES CYNTHIA AND TED! I fuck with them. (Cynthia tells ted to fuck the client) OKAY GIRL! SHE IS AN ALLY JUST LIKE ME! She is literally me’ he was so proud of Ted for nailing the account, literally clapped for him. The Sam/Linds scene is up ‘…i don’t like this. It’s weird. I can’t put a finger on it but it’s eh..weird so stop it! Im getting embarrassed for you Linds’

You haven’t sent them “late” - there’s no deadline lol. Also I’m on the West Coast and a night owl (or a constantly tired bird of some sort but I don’t go to sleep until late). Like please stayed employed anon. I love your brother but he’s not worth losing your job over.

Oh Ben’s student doesn’t find him boring but wait until he reveals what he really wants…

Tearing up as Ted becomes the first person Brian tells, I’m tearing up reading that!

HA! Emmett and Shanda not knowing each other is hard to believe, isn’t it? Especially if your brother knows all his local queens.

Did your brother think Gale looked like Ashton Kutcher? I AM DYING DEAD.

Cynthia! The fandom’s favorite wing woman. We should have had more Cynthia and less Lindsay.

[you-cant-spell-subtext-without]

now that I've accepted that I am forever unclean and that Analyzing the CW’s Hit TV Show Supernatural Specifically Dean Winchester is the regular hell loop that is my brain -

I Have Some Words to Say About Miracle (the dog):

Yes, this motherfucker.

(this episode contains SPOILERS from Season 15 of Supernatural including 15x09, 15x18, 15x19; TRIGGER WARNING - abuse, trauma, self harm, and spn 15x20 analysis).

I know we as a collective were confused (and angered) when instead of getting his One True Love at the end of the series, Dean Winchester got....a dog.  No offense Miracle, because you are cute and fluffy and I’d keep you forever

YES FOREVER YOU ARE SO FLUFFY COME HOME TO ME NOW

but

Dean Winchester does not like dogs.

Some have theorized it’s because he was killed by hellhounds at the end of Season 3, which is enough to give you a little canine PTSD:

Even explaining the following behavior in Yellow Fever:

He was also killed by this dog at one point in Mystery Spot:

It’s canon he has a strong aversion to dogs in the Impala:

(I would like to know more about Don)

There’s also probably lingering/repressed anger around that whole Sam never looked for him while he was in Purgatory situation:

There is, however, ONE prior episode in which Dean doesn’t hate dogs.

In Dog Dean Afternoon, when, as a side effect of a spell, he takes on the characteristics OF a dog.

(don’t let anyone tell you Jensen Ackles doesn’t have range, by the way).

SO MY THEORY ON “WHY MIRACLE” BASED ON THE AFOREMENTIONED IS:

As essentially everything, it all goes back to John Dumpster Fire Winchester, Father of the Year.

If you’re a John Winchester apologist, you should just stop reading now.  Also just don’t.  There is NO REASON TO DEFEND THIS MAN.

We know John was abusive.  Just one example of what  he put Dean through when he was NINE that he STILL remembers.

Also, this:

I could go on, but you get the picture. Why people were so thrilled when he came back for Lebanon keeps me up at night (nothing against the wildly talented Jeffrey Dean Morgan; he is fantastic, but John Winchester is trash). 

Dean’s childhood abuse is part of the reason he is convinced he is unworthy of anyone and anything.  It’s the first thing Cas notices about him.

Sam knows it too.

Even Crowley:

Abuse is generational.  Dean has shown he has potential to continue the cycle.

With Sam:

(not mentioned, lying, controlling Sam’s choices, the angel possession thing)

With Ben when he lives with Lisa:

He snaps at him about taking a gun from the Impala’s trunk at the beginning of Season 6, and then in Live Free or Twihard he physically pushes him against a wall (granted he’s a vampire at the time, but still - not an excuse).

With Jack:

At the outset of their relationship, Dean treats Jack the way John treated Sam.  He initially blames him for Cas’s death just like John blamed Sam for Mary’s (remember when John not only forced Dean to fucking single-parent Sam but later told Dean he may have to kill him seriously I could strangle this man).

Dean is terrified of turning into his father and perpetuating the cycle.  Remember the lyrical genius of Single Man Tear in Fan Fiction?

“But underneath this broken mask It is my father, with all his wrath”

That’s why he pushes away the people who love him the most.  He deeply believes he will inevitably hurt them.

He doesn’t even allow himself to begin a relationship with Jack at first.  The Jack/Dean arc is wildly important in all of this not only for representing Dean’s fear in perpetuating the cycle, but also because Jack/Dean is a narrative mirror for Dean/John.

Remember what Jack was doing before this? (TW: self harm)

Think about that in terms of Jack representing Dean.  Sit with it for a second.   Oof.

I posit to you this is also why Dean becomes so aggressive in using Jack to stop Chuck in Season 15.   Remember Dean consistently refers to the hamster wheel (a literal CYCLE) throughout this season.  This ties directly into Dean’s fear that he can’t control his life; that he is destined to become just like John - abusive and cruel. Team Free Will for Dean has always represented the glimmer of hope that this will not be his ending.

15x05:

The gun is gone, but it turns out Jack can be the weapon that ends God.  Think back to someone else who was fighting a Big Bad in Supernatural, and was so obsessed with finding the weapon to end him that he sacrificed everything, including his family for it.  Dean is acting exactly like John Winchester.  He’s perpetuating the cycle.  And that’s also part of the reason he shoves Cas away - because he believes this is inevitable, this is who he was always going to become.  

That’s why the purgatory prayer is BRILLIANT and important:

Dean is finally talking about his anger; his fear of the cycle. How his first response to stress and conflict is anger, just like John’s. He is acknowledging and accepting that this is in him, and sharing it with Cas.

WOOF ok so back to dogs.  You forgot this post is about dogs right?  So, we all know dogs give us unconditional love.  The best and truest kind.

Abusers also tend to abuse animals.  Dean’s aversion to dogs is a manifestation of the cycle of abuse. He believes if he gets a dog, he will inevitably abuse and torment it, because he believes that is who he is.  So he just acts like he doesn’t like them.

Until this happens:

And the very next episode, we meet Miracle.

Tell me this isn’t a man who has ALWAYS LOVED DOGS.

And BTW he has no issues having Miracle ride in the Impala.  Because that wasn’t ever the real problem to begin with.

Cas’s words of love helped Dean break the cycle.  

Reinforced in the finale (derogatory): 

When Chuck says -

Dean responds with that’s not who I am.  

And that’s the reason for Miracle.  Dean’s Team Free Will ending is breaking the toxic loop, and accepting love without fear that he will destroy it.  It’s acknowledging that while the history of abuse exists, it does not have to control or define him.  He chooses a different path.  He chooses to be defined by love.  

But he was still robbed of actually living his life with the people who got him here.  I will never stop screaming that he deserved better.  If you are fighting against this cycle, please know that you too deserve better.  

Oh and John Winchester 10000000000 percent belongs in hell. 

Which is why the Sexy Silence continues.

BONUS FOR SEROTONIN:

[samdyke]

top 5 scenes/episodes/arcs that deserved horriblebreakdownnatural go!

OKAY MICKEY I DID THINK ABT THIS A LOT and these are Not in any particular order but i have thoughts SO (below the cut bc its long)

1. sometime in s2 (after having met max for sure like seeing his powers be used for something violent & learning he also has psychokinetic abilities) sam shouldve had a full meltdown about his powers this is a PRIVATE MELTDOWN he goes to the woods or smth in the middle of the night and just loses it. full screaming at the sky “what the FUCK is HAPPENING TO ME” yes his psychic abilities would act up during this display and he would cause like. a crop circle or knock over trees and that would freak him out even more so hes like crying and trying to calm down because he’s terrified of what will happen if he Doesnt calm himself down. there’s a lot of choking down tears here because he just wants to be fucking normal, he tried so hard, and he has no idea what the hell is inside of him. he slips back into the motel before sunrise and dean never finds out about this one. like this post was Correct

2. okay this is SIMILAR but not the same hear me out. PRE swan song, as in the night between dean agreeing that sam can say yes and try to fling himself into the pit and it actually happening, sam shouldve been able to fully lose it. because holy fuck???? what the goddamn fuck is this? this breakdown potentially all happens at bobby’s house once again alone - he goes out to the scrapyard and looks up at the sky and prays to god to help him, asks why this is happening to him, why god wont do anything. please. please. there is, of course, no answer. this is sam’s last night as sam, and if things go well he’ll spend the rest of eternity locked in hell with lucifer; i think he’s entitled to a little screaming and crying and desperation

3. i gotta say like. fitz was right on the money with a post soul-fixed sam dean having a complete and utter meltdown like this. its just like......sam couldnt process for so long and dean was absolutely repressing everything for the year he lived with lisa and ben and to truthfully recognize what sam went through and everything.....horriblebreakdownatural MUST include both of them having a very late night hazy crying fit because once DEAN starts crying about how he never shouldve done it he shouldve said yes to michael or found another way sammy oh god you were so good im ao sorry you did it but i shouldve protected you i shouldve protected you then sam would also cry i think. they need this. its catharsis

4. i personally think dean should have had a breakdown after learning that mary was a hunter. not then and there in the past because goddamn no time (hah), but there’s no fucking way he would’ve been able to cope with thee mother mary, angelic perfect figment of comfort and home, the pure martyr for whom his entire life was ruined, was actually. a killer. a hunter. and she hated it. i think maybe he would be telling sam about it and it would hit suddenly and he would just feel sick, this is the kind of breakdown where you’re throwing up bile and you cant catch your breath and maybe youre crying?? but thats not the point its the absolute crushing weight and sickness when you learn that someyhing in your life has irrevocably changed in the worst way

5. cry harder repression boy: i want that tearful horrible painful breakdown from dean that we were all waiting for after despair. when he processes what cas said? and what that MEANS? oh i wanted the full breakdown here. this isnt something he can drink away because cas is fucking DEAD and cas loved him, he’s deaf Because he loved dean, like. i think that it would be jack asking where cas was that would actually seal this particular breakdown deal and dean would have to flee to go privately lose his shit which is of course not that private. think a prayer like purgatory 2.0 but 20x more desperate, which turns into threatening chuck because rage is the natural companion to grief

honorable mentions: sam after expelling gadreel (this would be horrible. imagining sam sobbing about killing kevin is genuinely making me ill), dean after leaving cas in purgatory (a prayer that turns to desperate painful screaming at the sky which sam hears but they never talk about), dean after getting cas BACK from purgatory (to cas), sam learning that he’s lucifer’s true vessel, at some point i think dean or sam shouldve had a car meltdown (u know screaming at the top of your lungs while barelling down the highway, crying, lots of obscenities).....theres def more but these simply came to mind. feel free to share w me your epic horriblebreakdownatural moment suggestions

[shirtlesssammy]

6x05: Live Free or Twihard

Then:

Vampires are real

Now:

At a gothy bar, a girl shows an ID and starts looking around. She takes a drink and starts walking around. She bumps into her presumed date. Later, they’re really bonding --or well he’s pressuring her to reveal more about herself than she feels comfortable. She agrees to show him more of her poetry, and in the process of pulling the sheets out, she gets a papercut. The guy looks away TOTALLY not interested.

Actually, he’s more interested than he should be and takes off for her sake. 

He comes back though, because he can’t stop thinking about her. He pulls out his best Edward line and tells her they can’t be together. Bella Kristin disagrees. He’s done BAD things, girl. But she’s 17! He shows her his fangs. It only excites her. He invites her to see his world. And a gross dude pops out of the alley to go to chow town on her neck. 

Dean gives Lisa a call, seeing if she’d like him to visit. She misses him --of course. 

Sam has a bunch of missing girls. They’ve got a case.

They head to interview a parent of one of the missing girls, Kristy. They check out her room to discover she’s REALLY into sparkly vampires. Dean’s little “wow” says it all. Sam finds the girl’s computer, while Dean entertains himself with reading the vamp books the girl was obsessed with.

They read the emails and find the location where the girl met her fate. 

Meanwhile, a blood transport van is robbed. 

Sam gets on the phone with Samuel. He confirms that they’re hunting vamps and they need to find the nest. Dean and Sam head inside the bar to scope the scene. They find three potential vamps (well, actually just two because one kisses another dude and Dean Bean, you don’t have to look so awkward.) 

They split up to follow their respective vamp. Sam ends up in a storage area and slices his vamp’s head off easy peasy. Because Sam Fucking Winchester is Sam Super Fucking Winchester without a soul. Dean heads to the alley to break up a totally normal couple just making out. The dude wasn’t actually a vamp --he just pretends to be to get laid.

Dean gets jumped by the longhaired vamp. Sam rushes into the alley to watch the vamp beat up Dean. He has plenty of time to stop it --but just watches with a cruel and curious smile on his face. He watches the vamp feed Dean his blood. The vamp takes off (THANKFULLY) before Sam can kill him. 

Dean’s a vampire, guys!

His transformation involves hypersensitivity to sound and light. He tells Sam that once Samuel gets there, he needs to kill him. He also wonders why Sam isn’t more freaked out. Sam just wants to know how he physically feels --cause that’s normal Samuel. 

Dean heads to the bathroom to check on his little baby fangs. They’re coming in nicely!

Also, he totally runs away and heads to Lisa’s place. He acts cryptic but tells Lisa, “Thanks, for everything.” (Remember when Cas said those exact words to Dean when HE was being cryptic but knew he’d never see him again? I do.) Dean then tells Lisa he’s got to go --he’s not going to talk about it. He doesn’t want to bring it home. She gets closer and demands that he tell her what’s going on. Dean takes off, but not before waking Ben. He comes closer to Dean and Dean shoves him away--hard.

Later, Grandpa Campbell scolds Sam for losing track of his brother. But, surprise! Dean is lurking next to the refrigerator. He double pinky swears that he didn’t feed. “You can relax, I didn’t drink anyone. But...I came close.”

Dean begs for a quick ending, but Samuel reveals that he has a vampire cure - as long as Dean doesn’t drink any human juice boxes. There’s just one catch: he has to get blood from the vampire who turned him. Dean departs, armed with dead man’s blood and a can-do attitude!

Samuel spends a moment looking at Sam suspiciously. Apparently they both discussed the vampire cure months ago! So why didn’t Sam save his brother? WHY INDEED. Samuel implies that Sam did it solely to get a man on the inside and help them track the alpha vampire. 

Dean encounters Edward Cullen in the grimy, dark hallways of the vampire lair. Sparklepants the Vampire Boy offers Dean a refreshing blood cooler before they sit down and watch Nickelodeon together. “I killed so many people on the way over here,” Dean boasts awkwardly, turning down the blood. He just can’t eat another bite! Dean gets the feature tour of the compound. He’s been tagged as a recruiter for the vamps, on account of his pretty face. 

Dean encounters his sire. The vamp reveals his dirty scheme. He keeps the captured and turned women locked up until they’re “compliant” (EW) and then sets them out to catch hot guys, who in turn set out to catch hot girls. Etcetera! Ah, the circle of life. 

The vamp leans in reeeeeeeaaaal close and asks Dean if he wants the “private tour.” GOOD GOD I am deceased. 

Dean pulls out the vial of dead man’s blood, but one errant drop escapes the syringe and the game is over. They grapple for control, and Dean looks like he’s about to lose. But whispering descends from above. All the vampires collapse to the ground and in an instant, Dean follows. He dreams of a series of images - little girls and vampires and gothic country imagery. A man appears in the vision - the alpha vamp. 

Dean swims to consciousness just as all the vamps try to ambush him. Heads meet the blood cannon. 

Sam and Samuel pull up outside of the lair. A vamp breaks their windshield. 

Dean continues to murder his way through an entire building of vampires while Sam and Samuel fight off windshield vamp. They head inside to see room after room of dead vampires. “Looks like your brother has some Campbell in him after all,” Samuel mutters. DAMN RIGHT HE DOES. (Some Mary Campbell, that is.) They finally find Dean sitting in contemplation with his boot resting gently on his sire’s severed head. 

For Male Modeling Science:

Later, they prepare the cure. Sam demands to know what Dean saw of the nest - what visions did he have? Cold as ICE, Sam! Dean chokes down the cure. He vomits a truly next level amount of bile and his flashbacks go in reverse because, you see, HIS VAMPIRISM IS REVERSING. The last thing Dean remembers is the smirk on Sam’s face as he got turned. 

He wakes, physically whole but mentally as scarred as ever! The next morning, Sam presses Dean again. He wants to know what Dean saw in the nest. WHAT GOTHIC COLLAGE?

Alone outside, Dean calls Lisa and then immediately chickens out on leaving a message. He checks in with Sam as they leave - he’ll always have his back, right? RIGHT????

The Sparkle Quotes of Doom:

These aren’t vampires. These are douchebags

You’re pretty!

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[princessconsuelapark]

my ultimate Sam and Dean are soulmates playlist | 61 songs, 3 hr 59 min

I started putting this together over my summer SPN re-watch, and I thought I'd share it with you all, so we can all cry over our Wincest feels together. It has all the usual cliché songs, and some of my own favourites. (Very country-heavy, so if that's not your thing proceed with caution.) I'm a writer, so lyrics are very important to me - I linked them for every song. All songs are individually YouTube linked, alternatively you can find the Spotify version above. I included some comments and explanations for all my choices, as well as quotes from the show. Happy listening! | Last updated: 18 November 2020

Carry On My Wayward Son by Supernatural: The Musical Cast // lyrics // Cliché and all that, but a good place to start.

Somewhere Only We Know by Lily Allen // lyrics // Even as children - as tumultuous and layered their relationship has always been - it was just the two of them, alone, in their own little world. I Found by Amber Run // lyrics // I found love where it wasn't supposed to be.

Fade Into You by Mazzy Star // lyrics // Unhealthily codependent Weecest vibes.

I Wanna Be Yours by Arctic Monkeys // lyrics // Secrets I have held in my heart / Are harder to hide than I thought. Something's Gotta Give by Christian Kane // lyrics // Wanting to get out of town as a metaphor for Dean wanting to act on his feelings for Sam? Yes, please. Christian Kane being a country god? Absolutely. The fact that this man was actually on SPN as Dean’s freaking love interest, and Jensen and him got to sing together still makes me the happiest person on this planet.

Don't You Wanna Fall by Frankie Ballard // lyrics // So, I love the lines Fall down here where an angel should know better than / To walk around this world with me, because god, Dean so often thinks he belongs in Hell, and is terrified of forcing his little brother into anything he doesn’t want. But still, he can’t stop himself: Don’t you wanna fall? (Shoutout to any Destiel shippers out there, because what a perfect song for you guys too, wow.) Thinking of You by Christian Kane // lyrics // Dean, just before Sam leaves for Stanford. (Link is for the Leverage version, because I love that show, and because Eliot Spencer is an angel. Funnily enough, Alona Tal was actually in that very episode, and did actually sing this song - you can find that here.) Hold On by Limp Bizkit // lyrics // I'm waiting for you, I know you're leaving / I'll still adore you, you never need me. LOST BOY by Troye Sivan // lyrics // Thinking about little Sammy’s stolen college admissions guide. Arms of a Stranger by Niall Horan // lyrics // Some jealous!Dean, while Sam is at Stanford angst.

Walking Away by Lifehouse // lyrics // Silence is all we have to give / And the memories of a life I wish we'd lived.

San Francisco by Niall Horan // lyrics // Listen, it’s a song about pining and not being able to let go and love in San Francisco. I mean, where do you expect my mind to go? Stanford Wincest all the way. How Did You Know? by Jedward // lyrics // I don’t wanna hear a bad word about Jedward, they are good lads. It’s a cheesy song, but hey, I love it. Sam comes back. Well, here I am / I couldn't stay gone. Drive by Halsey // lyrics // All we do is drive / All we do is think about the feelings that we hide. And the California never felt like home to me line! So perfect. "We made a hell of a team back there." (01x01 Pilot) Belong by X Ambassadors // lyrics // This is where Sam belongs, really. Riding shotgun, in his brother’s car, on the open road. Link is a fanvid that makes me feel things. Go and watch it, because it’s everything.

You Could Be Happy by Snow Patrol // lyrics // “Sam, you were right. You gotta do your own thing. You gotta live your own life.” (01x11 Scarecrow) Do the things that you always wanted to / Without me there to hold you back, don't think, just do.

Big Black Car by Gregory Alan Isakov // lyrics // "Who was that?" "My brother." "What did he say?" "Goodbye." That soft, disbelieving, confused look on Sam's face when Dean tells him he's proud of him. When it turns out Dean loves him enough to let him go. It should make him feel happy and free, it should make him loathe his childhood, defiance should fill him to the brim. Instead it makes him run straight back to Dean. (01x11 Scarecrow) Hey Brother by Avicii // lyrics // Faith. (01x12) Link is a fanvid, because reasons. Oh, if the sky comes falling down, for you / There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do. Sober Me Up by Frankie Ballard // lyrics // Sam always seems to make the world all fall into place. (Sort of 02x03 Bloodlust vibes?) But baby when you kiss me all the demons seem to disappear.

Always Gold by Radical Face // lyrics // “Killing this demon comes first, before me, before everything.” “No, sir. Not before everything.” (02x07 The Usual Suspects) And they said you were the crooked kind / And that you'd never have no worth / But you were always gold to me. Sold My Soul by Zakk Wylde // lyrics // Bit on the nose, but my god, how fucking real. (02x22 All Hell Breaks Loose: Part 2) Let Me Sign by Kirk Matthews // lyrics // "Well, then let it end!" & "I'm gonna take care of you." (02x22 All Hell Breaks Loose: Part 2) Follow You by Bring Me The Horizon // lyrics // “I mean, you sacrifice everything for me.  Don’t you think I’d do the same for you? You’re my big brother. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.” (02x22 All Hell Breaks Loose: Part 2) Say Something by A Great Big World // lyrics // "I just wish you'd drop the show and be my brother again. Cause... just cause." (03x07 Fresh Blood) Take Me To Church by Hozier // lyrics // “This obsession to save Dean? The way you two keep sacrificing yourselves for each other? […] Dean’s your weakness. And the bad guys know it, too.” (03x11 Mystery Spot) Outlaws of Love by Adam Lambert // lyrics // "You're my weak spot. And I'm yours." (03x16 No Rest for the Wicked) Everywhere we go we're looking for the sun / Nowhere to grow old, we're always on the run / They say we'll rot in Hell, but I don't think we will / They've branded us enough, "Outlaws of Love". Wanted Dead Or Alive by Bon Jovi // lyrics // Well, I had to include this one, for obvious reasons. (03x16 No Rest for the Wicked) In Other Words by Ben Kweller // lyrics // Dean's going to Hell. Sam's not okay. In his eyes I see the fear. Real With Me by Cady Groves // lyrics // Dean is not dealing well with remembering Hell. Sam is upset that he's not opening up. And it was never about what you were not / But I don't know how much longer I can hold on. Devil's Backbone by The Civil Wars // lyrics // None of it matters. Leaving for Stanford, choosing Ruby, the demon blood, that he’s Hell’s chosen. Dean will always come for his brother, no matter what.   Stay by Florida Georgia Line // lyrics // Sam leaves. It's fucked up. "Hey, you, uh... wanna take the Impala?" Dean doesn’t trust him, not like he used to, but he would say anything to make him stay. (05x02 Good God, Y’all) Hotel Room by Calum Scott // lyrics // They die in a motel room. They find out they share a Heaven. Sam can't find the words to explain. He wishes Dean would just give him time. (05x04 The End) So I kind of wrote a ficlet about this...? Read it if you fancy. Here Tonight by Brett Young // lyrics // The Wincestiest Wincest song to ever Wincest. The lyrics! Sometimes they can just take a minute to sit on the hood of the Impala and watch the stars, Apocalypse be damned.

I Hold On by Dierks Bentley // lyrics // “Sam, it’s okay. It’s okay, I’m here, I’m here. I’m not gonna leave you.” (05x22 Swan Song) Dean believes in his brother, and I’m a sucker for pick-up truck metaphors Lifeboats by Snow Patrol // lyrics // The look on Dean's face when he hugs Sam, when he realises that Sam's back, that he's alive. (06x01 Exile on Main St.) Potentially also some Purgatory vibes. Wild Horses by The Rolling Stones // lyrics // The moment Sam turned up on his doorstep, there was no question he'd choose him. Choose him over Lisa and Ben. Choose him over everyone. “But the minute he walked through that door, I knew. It was over. You two have the most unhealthy, tangled-up, crazy thing I've ever seen. And as long as he's in your life, you're never gonna be happy.” (06x06 You Can’t Handle The Truth) Heavydirtysoul by twenty one pilots // lyrics // “Pick one... Sam’s soul or Adam’s.” “Sam.” (06x11 Appointment in Samarra)

H.O.L.Y. by Florida Georgia Line // lyrics // Oh, this song. A bit of religious irony and whatnot, but my god. The lyrics are everything. You're the healing hands where it used to hurt immediately makes me think of how Dean helped Sam turn the pain from his scar on his palm into “stone number one, and build on it”. (07x02 Hello, Cruel World) I mean, Sam can't even tell what's real anymore, but he trusts his brother. Blindly and with everything he has, because that's who he is. But then there’s also Dean making his promise in the church, and Sam choosing him over dying in 09x01 (I Think I’m Gonna Like It Here). God. Just. I love this song for Sam and Dean.

Through The Dark by One Direction // lyrics // "We'll figure it out, okay? Just like we always do." (08x23 Sacrifice) Leave Out All The Rest by Linkin Park // lyrics // Sam is okay with sacrificing himself. He is ready to die. When my time comes / Forget the wrong that I've done. Demolition Lovers by My Chemical Romance // lyrics // “There is nothing, past or present, that I would put in front of you... I need you to see that." (08x23 Sacrifice) Okay, but look at the lyrics, and try and convince me this song is not about Sam and Dean. Love Will Tear Us Apart by Fall Out Boy // lyrics // "You wanna know what I confessed in there?" (08x23 Sacrifice) TALK ME DOWN by Troye Sivan // lyrics // The look in Sam’s eyes changes, his face falls. "How do I stop?" He chooses Dean like he always does. (08x23 Sacrifice) Brother by Kodaline // lyrics // “Come on. You and Dean? That’s something special, don’t you think?” (09x08 Rock and a Hard Place) Link is a gorgeous fanvid, go watch it and cry. Little Lion Man by Mumford & Sons // lyrics // Dean really messed up this time. Gadreel fall out stuff. Sam breaks up with him in a motel car park in Wisconsin. (09x12 Sharp Teeth)

better off by Jeremy Zucker & Chelsea Cutler // lyrics // "Something's broken here, Dean." (09x12 Sharp Teeth) & "No, Dean, I wouldn't." (09x13 The Purge)

I Can't Go On Without You by KALEO // lyrics // Sam taking Dean’s body home, laying him on his bed, drinking by himself in the dark. (09x23 Do You Believe in Miracles) I Won't Give Up by Noah Guthrie // lyrics // "I am going to save my brother." (10x01 Black) Sam never gives up on Dean. Brother by NEEDTOBREATHE ft. Gavin DeGraw // lyrics // “I never even said thank you, so…” “You don’t ever have to say that, not to me.” (10x04 Paper Moon) Link is another beautiful fanvid, because I can’t help myself. Sittin' Pretty by Florida Georgia Line // lyrics // Sam's sunshine and he’s endless planes of warm skin, soft long hair, and sometimes Dean looks at him. Really looks at him. (No, okay, but the Chevy line really made it for me.) Blood Brothers by Luke Bryan // lyrics // "I don’t need a symbol to remind me how I feel about my brother.” and "The two of us against the world!” "What she said.” (10x05 Fan Fiction) I don’t know, country songs just make me think of Sam and Dean, okay.

I Will Follow You Into The Dark by Daniela Andrade // lyrics // “This is my life. I love it. But I can’t do it without my brother. I don’t want to do it without my brother. And if he’s gone, then I don’t…” (10x18 Book of the Damned)

Golden by Fall Out Boy // lyrics // Dean is so so broken. “No, there is no other way, Sam. I’m sorry.” (10x23 Brother’s Keeper)

Church by Fall Out Boy // lyrics // This whole song screams Sam and Dean to me, and initially I thought of Sam’s Wall breaking down, but then I got stuck on the lines And if death is the last appointment / Then we're all just sitting in the waiting room / I am just a human trying to avoid my certain doom and that’s so clearly Dean killing Death, unable to murder his little brother in the end, because his devotion to Sam runs too deep. (10x23 Brother’s Keeper) In which the SPN writers and Pete Wentz really should get together and discuss over-the-top religious imagery. You are doomed but just enough. Right Back Home by Lifehouse // lyrics // “We are home.“ (11x04 Baby) Be There by Seafret // lyrics // "Bring him back. Bring him back and take me instead." (11x17 Red Meat)  You're my way out / You're my way through / And I can't, I can't / Be without you.

Only the Brave by Louis Tomlinson // lyrics // “I need him, he needs me.“ (11x23 Alpha and Omega) With or Without You by U2 // lyrics // The absolute poetic tragedy of 12x09 (First Blood). The way they don’t even have time to really look at each other after six weeks apart, that they are both ready to die for each other without a moment of hesitation.

I Won't Mind by ZAYN // lyrics // “I'm good with who I am. I'm good with who you are. Because our lives? They're ours and maybe I'm too damn old to want to change that.” (14x13 Lebanon)

Fine Line by Harry Styles // lyrics // "Just us.” (15x19 Inherit the Earth)

[ambivalent-anarchy]

The First 'I Love You'

Gender: Female

Pairing: Peter Parker x stark!reader

Warning: None

Prompt: “Are you sure you love me?” “Who else could I love?”

Requested by: @cyrusandhiscollaredahirts

Summary- kinda goes without saying. Peter says his first 'I love you'.

---------------------------------------

May Parker always kept a watchful eye over her nephew's relationships.

Aside from the fact that it was to be protective, it was like a little game for her. Trying to catch and determine what parts of how Peter loved were like her or Ben or his parents or just himself.

He was always incredibly touchy, like Ben had been.

And he loved to give gifts. That was May's thing.

He was a bit overprotective. Ben.

And he definitely was the jealous type. May.

Pet names were the big one that tuned May in to start watching for more in the first place. The first time she ever heard Peter calling you 'sweetheart' over the phone, May almost spat out her water. 'Sweetheart' was one of Ben's favorites.

And yeah okay Peter definitely had way more of Ben's love traits than May's. But she didn't mind. Quite the opposite.

But there was only one thing that held potential to being a problem.

May had brushed it off before due to her nephew's persistent bashfulness at first. But it really did seem now that one of Ben's most prevalent habits was about to show itself inside Peter at any moment.

Ben was never one to be patient with something or someone that he truly, deeply cared about.

If he wanted something, no matter how hard he tried to give it time, it'd just thread on him until he had to do something about it.

Which was why he was the first to say 'I love you.' And thankfully, May was ready to say it back when he did.

And May desperately wanted it to be the same for Peter.

And she didn't want to be judgmental, but she knew you were a Stark. And everything came easily to Starks, except one thing.

She'd seen how you were on the first date with Peter. How intimidated he'd been. How much your guard was up all the time.

She'd known how long it finally took you to say yes to being his girlfriend. How many times he had to ask and get an 'I need to work on myself first' or an 'I really do like you, but I'm not ready yet.'

She saw how much it broke Peter's heart even though he tried to stay hopeful. And how ecstatic he was when you finally decided that you could say yes.

You'd made lots of progress since then, but even now, with how comfortable you were with him, you were still cautious. It was almost as if you expected to be hurt. That at some moment Peter would pull off a mask and show you a 'true self'.

Normally, she'd try to sneakily butt in and ease your worries, but she knew it wasn't her place. You'd have to find out on your own that Peter would never hurt you.

And she could see that Peter was reaching that point that Ben often would. When there was only one thing on his mind and it would dominate his thoughts and it was like he was a balloon all too ready to pop.

"Give her time, Pete," May said one day out of the blue, causing Peter's head to snap up. "I know what you've been thinking about lately, and I just wanna tell you to give her some time. Trust your instinct."

Her nephew smiled, amazed at how well she could read him. He nodded. "Okay."

And true to his word, he waited until he felt the time was right.

He was walking you home, a lovesick smile on his face as you ranted passionately about some stupid tv show.

Your eyes held so much joy and wonder. He just wanted that to go on forever.

When he was little, he always thought it was corny when his uncle Ben would sit him down and tell him about his first 'I love you' with May. But now, he understood. Because this was a feeling that everyone should want to feel.

"Guess it's time to go, Pete," you said. "Thanks for tonight-"

"-I love you."

He said it confidently the first time. So sure and so certain that he wanted you to hear it.

But when you hadn't caught what he said exactly and wanted him to repeat it, it all went away. What if it wasn't what you wanted to hear? What if you weren't ready to say it back?

He looked down at his shoes. "I-i, um.." Taking a deep breath, he looked back into your eyes and said it again. "I said I love you..."

You didn't say it back immediately, and that really threw him for a loop. Instead, you shifted and looked anywhere but to him.

"I-i mean, you don't have to s-say it back. That's totally fine," he rambled. "I-i just s-sorta wanted you..to-to know..."

"Are you sure you love me?," you said, your eyes becoming a bit glossy.

You'd never heard those words spoken like that before. You never thought that you ever would.

A little confused, Peter scrunched his eyebrows together but smiled. "Who else could I love?," he chuckled a bit. "I mean, I do love Ned, and Aunt May, and Mr. Stark, and MJ... but none of them this way.. not like this," he confirmed for you.

He'd never seen such uncertainty in your eyes before. You held yourself and started to back away a bit, cluing to him that he'd done something wrong.

Maybe you weren't ready to say it back he figured. Maybe you wouldn't be for a long time. But he knew right then and there, that he wanted nothing more than for you to be, and he'd wait forever for it to happen.

"Look, [Y/N]. I'm sorry," he began, tearing up a bit, but there was no way he was gonna be crying in front of you. "You probably don't-"

He was shut up when he felt your arms tightly wrapped around him.

"I love you too," you said back, fully crying tears of joy at this point. "I love you so much Peter!"

At that, he started to cry too. You actually said it back. This was perfect. You were perfect.

"Full warning," he said, pushing back so that he could see your entire tear stained, doey eyed, perfect face. "Now that I've got you, I'm never letting you go."

All you did in response was smile widely and pull him closer. It was a confirmation of what the two of you had done. And neither of you would ever forget it.

"You're so precious, baby," he softly whispered into your ear. "I'll love y-"

"Um, excuse me why is my daughter crying?," a rough voice broke in.

The two of you looked to the side to see your father at the door with his arms crossed. He looked to Peter's face. "Oh and you're crying too," he noted. "And you're both smiling- Oh my God you didn't ask to marry her did you?"

"Their vitals show that they are happy, Mr. Stark," F.R.I.D.A.Y. broke in. "If you would like, I can play back the last five mintues recorded from the door for you; starting with the words 'I love you'. That phrase seems to have started this ordeal."

You and Peter looked to each other before you both burst into laughter. "That little snitch," you said.

Your father rolled his eyes. "Alright continue your little.. thing," he said. Then he pointed to Peter. "But you're not allowed in her bedroom tonight, underoos. Too many emotions going around and I don't trust it. You two stay in the living room."

"Oh-uh," Peter scratched the back of his head. "I actually better be on my way home for dinner. Have a nice night, Mr. Stark." He looked to you and his blush deepened. "Bye sweetheart. Love you."

"Love you too," you responded, to which your dad made vomit sounds as he walked into the building.

-

That night, Peter literally skipped down the sidewalk all the way home, humming and having spontaneous bouts of laughter.

Walking into his home, he quickly yelled out.

"May! May c'mere!"

"What's up?," she yelled back. "Did the date go well? What happened? Oh my gosh are you crying?"

Peter shook his head slightly. "No no no no I'm just...so happy right now!"

He ran to hug her, smiling brightly.

"She said it May... I told her and she said it back."

-

You walked into the game room after having a squealing fit in your room.

You walked in and was immediately met with... applause?

The entire team was sitting there looking at you and there was a cake... what?

You couldn't hear everyone because they were speaking all at once. It wasn't until you were patted on the shoulder and turned to see Rhodey standing there. "Hey kid..make sure you two have a condom when you finally...do it."

Your face scrunched up. "What?!"

"Yeah, Tony showed us the footage," Bruce said, appearing on the other side of you.

"He- what?!"

Bucky laughed, taking a big cut out of the cake. "Peter probably would've snuck into the bedroom with you too, if Tony hadn't cockblocked you. But yeah we threw you a little love party."

You blushed profusely as Sam swung an arm around you. "Hey Steve! That was a language word!"

Steve rolled his eyes and then looked to you. "Congrats [Y/N]."

"Okay, this is officially weird and I'm going to bed."

"Okay but check the room for any spiders first!," Rhodes yelled out, earning a middle finger as you walked away.

When you made it to your room, you threw yourself onto the bed with a sigh.

"He loves me...he actually loves me."

[lightandwinged]

Alright, it’s review time, and it’s going to be spoilery and rambly because I’m still parsing my thoughts on everything SO. 

Sans spoilers: a solid and fitting conclusion, if a bit faster paced than I would’ve liked, but it adhered to the overarching themes of the Skywalker saga probably better than anything in the new trilogy has before, and I don’t know how, considering everything (namely that Space Mom is gone), they could have or would have done things differently. Not my absolute favorite (that will forever be RotJ), but still very good.

Spoilers below, be ye warned.

I found it utterly hilarious that the plot started with Kyle Ron finding the Macguffin and chillin out with Papa Palpatine while the Good Guys had to go on this entire huge quest to FIND the Macguffin to begin with, and the only reason he didn’t just fuck off and finish some dastardly plan while they were scurrying about and trying to find the Pyramid Of Doom was because he’s got a lot to work out in his feelings about Rey. Like shit, no wonder Papa Palpatine decided to just stick with his own bloodline for galactic domination, Skywalkers are useless.

(except Leia, who is awesome)

The inclusion of Carrie Fisher in this film was VERY well done, but it also hurt a lot because you could tell that her scenes were cobbled together from old material and not made of anything new. It was good and necessary, but it also just hurt, like a constant reminder that she’s gone and nobody could replace her ever. And I’ll get more to that in a minute.

The Macguffin questing honestly felt a lot like the first half of RotJ, where we have to go rescue Han right quick because Harrison Ford was pretty sure he didn’t want to Star Wars anymore, so here’s a sidequest for half the movie, with the only difference here being that the questline had to do with the actual Plot. I’ve been following the Star Wars leaks subreddit for a while (don’t read the comments, it’s a wretched hive of scum and villainy and bitterness), and I know that at one point, it was supposed to be this race between Team Dark Side and Team Light Side to get the Pyramid of Destiny and then they’d find out that oh shit, Sheev’s here, but that was scrapped... and I kind of wish it hadn’t been? It would’ve made the first half of frolicking through this planet... no this planet... no, no, it’s on this planet... feel a lot less distracting. 

The dynamic between Finn, Poe, and Rey was fantastic, because those three actors just have amazing chemistry on so many levels. They immediately fell into the dynamic of “we’re a polyamorous triad who’ve been living together for a while, and we really love each other, but we’re also a LITTLE BIT STRESSED RIGHT NOW OK” and that’s fair. I was glad to see all of it, and I just wish that we’d had more of it in both TFA and TLJ. It reminded me a LOT of how the best parts of the OT were always when Luke, Han, and Leia were together. 

And now I’m going to take a sulk break to think about what we could’ve had with that amazing dynamic.

I’m back. 

The new characters were some of the weaker parts of the film, I felt, save for Lando (because Billy Deeeeeeee). Dominic Monaghan, whom I love, could’ve had his role taken entirely by Rose, or Billie Lourde, and nobody would’ve noticed. And I don’t mind the addition of extra women to the cast, but Zorii and Jannah felt like they were just there to be like “Poe fucks women! Finn might too!” And... yanno, cool? But the OT3 stands. 

And then General Pryde, aptly named, should’ve been a bigger part in all three films because it was like... here’s this yahoo out of nowhere who’s apparently a really big Sheev fan and just... like... what? I mean, I’m a huge Sheev fan, too, but I wish he’d been more of a Piett, where we could’ve seen him worming his way up the ranks, which would’ve made his downfall more satisfying. Instead, it was just kind of like... eh? Cool, I guess? With Piett, you felt like “yeah, we’ve seen this guy fucking things up for our heroes for two entire movies now, and here he is, getting destroyed because of his pride, hahaha!” but with Pryde, it was like “wait, who are you? Oh you’re dead now? Okay, cool, I guess?”

And in conjunction with THAT, Hux was just wasted in this film. I fully accept the idea that he rose through the ranks because of nepotism or something, and I also fully accept that he’s an absolutely useless twink who can’t do anything without having Phasma top him weekly (she used to top both him and Ren, which is why they’re such disasters in this movie), but man, couldn’t we have like... taken him with us? Imagine the comedy potential as he’s brought back as a prisoner and Domhnall Gleeson gets even more screen time with Oscar Isaac. I don’t mind that he died a worthless death because he was basically a useless wretch, but I do feel like if the movie had given itself more breathing room, he could’ve been a lot of fun.

RELATED, the pacing. So in the beginning of the movie, the idea of a light skip (basically, just sort of using the hyperdrive without planning or anything) is brought up, and everyone involved in this action bounces from world to world to world in rapid fire fashion to get rid of a bunch of TIE fighters following them, and that’s roughly the pace of this film. There are a few moments of quiet and contemplation, but they’re so rare that they seem to last a lot longer than they actually do, and I think it’s mostly because this movie really feels like a Lord of the Rings style epic packed into a MCU time frame. And I’m not complaining about the time, because by the time the credits rolled, I had to pee so fucking badly, but I feel like also if we’d trimmed out a couple of things (like maybe we can get rid of Kijimi, I think it is? The snow planet? or just merge Kijimi and Pasaana?), we’d have had more time to breathe and that would’ve helped the pacing a lot. 

The slow moments in the film belonged almost exclusively to Rey and Kyle Ron, and honestly, Daisy Ridley and Adam Driver both deserve some sort of award recognition for their acting, the latter particularly. Without going into wild details about the plot, Kyle Ron does change his mind and go back to being Ben Solo, and god bless you so much Adam Driver because the change is instantaneous and delightful. If we’d seen significantly more Ben Solo than Kyle Ron, I’d totally be on board with the r.3y.10.z because this child omg. As it stands, the kiiiiissssss made me do like

in real life. It felt... mm, unearned, we’ll say. Maybe as a moment of “oh fuck that was intense and now we’re both alive” I could’ve bought it, but it wasn’t that, it was supposed to be this “my looooove” moment and just... sorry, but no. 

BUT that said, while I think his death was the only way this series could’ve ended for him because a redemption arc would’ve required a LOT more time and energy, and that just... wasn’t going to happen. The time to have him make the turn if we were going to see a redemption arc was during TLJ, and since he didn’t make that change, we don’t get a Zuko arc. And that’s FINE because that’s a lot of work for a three movie series. And I don’t want a TV series devoted to Ben Solo learning to not be a dick to people. That’s exhausting. 

But I do wish we’d gotten more time with him. The brief time we had, the bit of Han Solo snark that came out (”ow”), that was all delightful and made me understand what people see in the character (who I hate because he’s a great character to hate). 

(omg while I was writing this, someone was saying that they were in a theater with someone talking about how the movie should’ve ended with Kyle Ron giving Rey a Force baby, and Y’ALL THERE IS NOT ENOUGH NOPE IN THE WORLD)

Anyway, bullets now, for the times I cried:

Literally everything with Leia, but especially that her last word was “Ben” and her using every last bit of her energy to save her son because I GET THAT FEEL, and honestly, the only reason she wasn’t there raining death and destruction on Sheev by herself for grooming her baby was because Carrie Fisher died. But anyway, from the moment she dropped her headset on, I was a blubbering mess.

And then Han, just a memory, but looking more at peace than he ever has. He convinces his son to come home, and Ben now says, “Dad?” and Han just says, “I know,” and FUFUUFUFALSKJDLAKSJDF: SOBBING

And then CHEWIE reacting to Leia’s death just... UGH. I am destroyed utterly, still. 

Luke finally managing to Force lift the X-Wing out of the water made me cry as well, weirdly enough. 

And then whatever emotion I felt when Rey heard all the Jedi, and it was LITERALLY EVERYONE WHO HAS PLAYED A JEDI EVER COMING IN AND SAYING A LINE like not just the familiar ones but the ones you wouldn’t know unless you’d watched all the TV series and extra material... it was so much more than tears. I couldn’t cry because it wouldn’t have been enough to encompass everything that made me feel. Very sincerely well done. 

All-in-all, yeah, it was really good. I don’t get what everyone is so fussed over with it... it ties up the themes of the entire nine-movie arc pretty neatly and does basically the best it can with what it has. 

But a bigger point in its favor, for me, was seeing Sam’s reaction to it: jumping up and down in his seat, gasping, grabbing my hand, whispering, “Mommy, they’re going to be okay, right?” and then cheering at the end. Star Wars, as a thing, isn’t for just one person or one group of people, but I consider how people who were kids when the PT came out say without a hint of irony that it’s not that bad, because to them, that’s what Star Wars is and always has been. The joy of it isn’t just the OT but those three movies that were “meh” to those of us who cut our teeth on the OT only. And in a similar vein, the ST is full of that joy for kids now. Like holy moley, Sam and his best friend geeking out over seeing each other in Star Wars costumes at Halloween was just worth everything.

So in the end, like I concluded at the end of TLJ, the message here is that it’s for them. And also that there’s always hope, that ultimately, even when it seems the odds are against light, there’s more of us than there are of them. 

[facepalming-since-chernobyl]

Can we talk about how Lena was never trully good and piss off my stalkers?

Let’s start with her early life, shit taken from her fabulous Arrowverse Wikia page, written by a hormonal, brainwashed kid with Lena’s panties in a skull:

Aside of the dumb as fuck plot to kill her “Irish” Mother So CW Can Stop Wasting Money On Lena’s Actress Accent Coach, this was said by Lena, Age 20 Something. Where is the problem? Lena,  Age 20 Something is old enough, and so called genius, to understand that her 4 year old ass couldn’t do a shit in that situation (well, she could drown along wiith her mother *stares longingly at the wasted potential*). So, Lena The Age 20 Something tells this traumatasing for everyone’s ears story to make herself look sympathetic. Or she is super fucking dumb, but the writers try to tell us she is a so called genius. Ouch.

Planning a shit for months that in the end RUINS someone’s life and “regrets” it (*Len a sniffs, wipping her tears with a silky handkerchief that is worth 1500$*) is well, a perfect example of a future sociopath. Also, notice how she still remembers how Lilian was proud of her. Aka destroying someone’s life maybe was a bad thing to do, but her adoptive mother was PROUD of her. This is an example of what is the most important thing for Lena - her EGO and constant praise of her HORRIBLE adoptive mother.

You won’t find it on wikia page (wonder why *sarcasm*) that Lena threw a microscope at Jack - her boyfriend, what is hey!, a violent, abusive, toxic behavior!

Aka Lena The Snowflake Queen has NEVER stood behind a man... only behind Lex’s back... as long as he was in the picture...and she became the CEO of LuthorCorp only after... he was out of the picture... because....that’s the easiest shit to do. And she ceased contact with Lilian... because she GOT WHAT SHE WANTED. Earlier she didn’t mind Lilian and Lex’ shady shit and did nothing to stop that, huh? Wonder why. This is called not standing behind men’s back. Brothers are not men, I guess?

Insted of kicking the young mother to her home, to spend time with her daughter, Lena The Slave Driver (too soon? :) and The White Face Of Aggressive Capitalism gives her a blessing. And this article suggests that everything what Sam achived was all to Lena, not her own abilities. Feminism, yay!

Because who cares about people’s privacy when they are not humans but some alien scum, right? You can’t ask for people’s believes or sexuality but can easily check your neighbour origin! Yay! Who cares that alienphobes would buy it for horrible reasons? Because moneeeey, moneeeeey, moneeeeey! 

Btw, remember how Lena was pissed off at Rhea, because she was ALIEN? It was not because the lie, it was because dear Rhea was alien, so hello ALIENPHOBIC Lena :D Also, Lena ignored Rhea lied to her and just followed The Daxamite Queen like a lost puppy only because Rhea praised her ass. Lena was easily manipulated, because oh her mommy and ego issues xD Cheer for the genius!

Btw, remember how big damage the Phorians did to National City BECAUSE of Lena’s exeperiments with the portal? And again, she didn’t face any consequecens. 

Remember how  because of this portal she can stop starvation blah blah blah? Well, nah, it’s all about her ego. And after Daxamite invasion, what she has done about that starvation? NADA :’) She proved her portal works, who cares about the rest.

What happens next? A hostile Daxamite army invades USA THANKS TO LENA and... nothing happens. How many people died? How many buildings were destroyed? Did Snowflake Lena meet any consequences? Did they accuse her of being a TRAITOR? She is not a traitor, her brainwashed minions say. Yeah? Think about Snowden and Assange. And now you can laugh.

Then she spreads lead into atmosphere and yep, nothing happens. Weirdly, no other country is pissed off that some American bitch spread fucking lead all over whole fucking world. Who cares, American capitalism! *Afghanistan, Iraq, South American countries, Vietnam, South Korea stare into the void*

Lena buys CatCo ONLY to keep her name clean and - Money, money money!

Plus, Lena reveals she didn’t talk with Kara for months (friendship goals! pure heart! friendship over work!).

Few things here:

1)during it, Edge’s bodyguard was killed, what means that Lena getting what she wants is more important than random people lives

2)she did that on a gala, full of innocent, not aware of the danger people. She purposely put them in the danger

3)getting that record of Edge’s confession was absolutely illegal and any judge would fucking die hearing how she got it

4)she corrupted Kara to do this shit

5)cried about how ONLY her friends keep her from crossing a line - bitch, you already crossed that and your friends should take your ass to a psychologist, lol

6) did i mention that Edge’s BODYGUARD WAS KILLED?

(And now a short break for a laugh:

My poor Lena’s phone! What have you done to piss Sam so much? :((((( )

Also hey, Lena is a gun lover. 

During this time, Lena was experimenting on Sam. Alone. Not telling anyone. Because you know, EGO issues. She told DEO only when her ass was satrting to burn.

We are glad that Lena’s stans are aware she constantly LIE and loves EXCUSES of her shitty actions. KUDOS, guys!

Also yeaaaah, I reluctantly intend to tell my father I destroyed his fave  set of stamps. Someday. But after 10 years he is still not aware so maybe, not today, yeah.

Also, Lena plays the “innocent victim” when she reveals she produces Kryptonite. That can be used only to kill Kryptonians, but she doesn’t see why Supergirl is so pissed off. It’s not like it’s some 100% deadly weapon for Kara Zor El and her cousin. Calm down your tits, Supergirl, ok? Every day Lena can choke to death eating fucking avocado and she doesn’t throw tantrums about it!

And then Lena basically used Harun-El for her own experiments. Did she tell Alura she stole some of it? Nah. Did she inform anyone about her experiments? Naah. Why when she can play a god?

Remmeber Ben Lockwood? That horribly written bad guy? Who turned evil because Lena The Capitalistic Bitch Who Swims In Money didn’t help his father’s bancrupting factory? Becasue:

When you think about, if Lena wouldn’t have been a white typical American aggressive capitalistic bitch focused on making money and doing illegal experiments, there hadn’t been Agent Liberty. I think it’s hilarious. Lena wants to “help” the world *cough* by polluting it? *cough*  by some fucking useless portals, while all she needs to do is helping people and saving their buisness :D

Then we have some sweet talk including Lena and her so called friends, about powering up humans. And we clearly see that Lena wants to play a god, because of her EGO. Who decides who is good enough to be powered up? Lena. Who holds the power to make humans superpowered? Lena. Who doesn’t say a shit about these experiments and doing it in secret? Lena. 

And here comes our poor young Adam. Adam, who is depressed because of his brother’s death and driven by guilt. And Lena, for some fucking reason, choses him. UHM? And then, even if she KNOWS this experiment is deadly (no SANE scientist allows human trials when the possibility of death is higher than 1% - (you have animal trials for it for fuck’s sake), that is a FACT, in Lena’s case it was about 40%? or even more). But he filled the aplication! Yeah, and this makes it legal, LOL. But Lena wanted to stop it and he FORCED her to keep doing! Yeaaaaaah, depressed, driven by guilt kid forced poor innocent Lena to kill him. Holy crap! Lena! You poor baby!!!!

No shit guys, LENA IS MURDERER. And she doesn’t tell anyone, becasuse she knows it was illegal.

But! But! But! GOVERMENT knows! She works for them!!! Yeah, she works for alienphobic goverment and Ben Lockwood, what can go wrong?! :DDDD

And then, she basically saved a mass murderer and helped him escape.

How the FUCK her ass is not rotting in jail is a mystery, but I guess when you are a white loaded American capitalist you can do whatever shit you want and won’t meet consequecnes of your actions. 

And now cheer for Lena The Snowflake Queen Luthor stans who love her and don’t see a one single thing in her doings - it’s good to be murderer’s apologist, huh? :D

(all caps taken from Lena’s wikia page -> x)

I want to dedicate this post to my stalkers aka KramReceipt crowd from twitter - please, be more butthurt in the future, I have more ideas to expose your Snowflake Queen ;*

Also

[godshipsit]

ok, so with metatron it was established that cas is in love with dean. but dean?

It was established that also Dean has strong not-so-platonic feelings towards Cas, but it’s less evident. It’s funny, because Metatron uses also Dean’s feelings to outline his story. His plan wouldn’t have worked if Dean didn’t feel strongly towards Cas. 

I’m sure plenty of people have written meta on s9 finale, and I’ve joined the discussion and fandom late, but anyway here’s my personal recap on it. (Mostly Dabb’s episodes, because if he’s going through with what Carver era implied, we’re gonna have tons of fun)

(Also, consider that this “Dean = humanity” theme has never been dropped… we’ve seen it reinforced with Amara, Ishim, in part also with Crowley. Read @tinkdw​ meta, in particular the one regarding Amara) 

(Before I start, I’ve always said I have a love-hate relationship with Carver. Yes, he brought the deancas subtext to the next level, but he also sort of made Dean the object of everyone’s not-so-platonic love, while Dean was completely engrossed in his not so healthy relationship with Sam. But things are moving, and things have already changed a lot. Fun times are coming.) 

WhenMetatron first meets the Winchesters, he pretends he doesn’t know them, that he hasn’t kept up with what happened on Earth. Metatron is a huge liar. As a writer who wants to write a story (andCarver’s avatar), he’s done his research: he knows our heroes’ weaknesses andflaws, and he knows how to move them around like paws. He’s not fighting Cas,he’s playing monopoly and Cas for the most is just a piece he moves around.

Metatronis jealous of Castiel, God’s chosen one, because he was once chosen by Godhimself (just to be abandoned). He also wants revenge against Heaven, so he builds a plan in the onlyway he knows. By outlining a story. His goal? Well, I’ll quote Jim Moriartyhere for reasons: to burn theheart out of Cas.

(Metatronalso wants to be the new God, and writers are Gods of the stories they create…after all, our universe’s God is a writer himself)

When you create stories, you become gods, of tiny, intricate dimensions untothemselves. (Metatron, 8x21)

How doyou destroy someone? You destroy what he or she loves. Metatron knows wellCastiel’s story: he’s seen what happened with the Godstiel fiasco, and since he’sa writer, he understood the subtext. He witnessed the way Dean reacted toCastiel’s betrayal, and more than anything, he saw how hard Dean’s reactioncrushed Cas. He was there when Cas watched Dean rake the leaves, and when hemade a deal with Crowley to let Dean live his life in peace. To protect him.Who knows how long Metatron has waited to rub this fact in Castiel’s face, thathe did everything to save DeanWinchester. He wasn’t talking just about Cas destroying the Angel Tablet, hewas talking about the civil war against Raphael, too.

(That’swhy I always say Ben Edlund was the one to bring Dean and Cas’ relationship toa whole new level. No wonder season twelve is going back to referencing season six again,that’s where it all started and I suspect Dabb is a big fan.)

Metatronknows Cas’ true weakness. The angel who always had too much heart has fallen inlove with one human. And guess what? The human has very strong feelings abouthim, too (season eight docet). Some external factors help Metatron in crafting his story, buttowards 9x18 everything is ready: Castiel has been human, so he’s experiencedhis feelings for Dean at full force and understands them better now; Dean hasbeen lying the entire season and is more reckless since he got the Mark;potentially, Sam is the one who could change most of his plan, but thankfullyDean won’t listen to him. The Mark is enhancing his characteristics, and hisneed to protect Sammy from everything (and control him) is one of them. To beeven more sure (and to play with Cas’ heart a little more), Metatron makesHannah meet Cas, and writes her as a false romantic lead (it’s no coincidence that Dean is immediately in competition with her). The story about love,heartbreak, and love is ready for show time.

My job is to set up interesting characters and see where they lead me. The by-product of having well-drawn characters is…They may surprise you. But I know something they don’t know…the ending. How I get there doesn’t matter as long as everybody plays their part. (Metatron, 9x18)

I’ve alwaysfound Metatron a compelling villain, because he knows his adversaries well, andknows their pressure points. His biggest flaw, though, is his hubris and senseof superiority, which leads him to underestimate Castiel (who ends outsmartinghim). He still manages to hit Cas hard when he kills Dean.

What makes a story work? Is it the plot, thecharacters, the text? The subtext? And who gives a story meaning? Is thewriter? Or you? (Metatron, 9x18)

This isCarver and Robbie Thompson winking at us. They also inform us that Metatron isprobably the most meta character the show has ever had, and that subtext (andfans’ interpretation) will be king.

Anyway, by manipulatingour heroes, Metatron sets up the events of 9x22 and 9x23 perfectly. Castiel hasan army, angels who seem very devoted, in a freaky kind of way, which reminds us (and Dean) of the whole civil war arc in s6, whichended with the betrayal, Godstiel and Cas’ death. No wonder Dabb used 6x20 to buildViolet and David’s romance’s backstory. Somehow, he was telling us to keep those eventsin mind. In 9x22 (another Dabb episode), Dean is clearly uncomfortable with thewhole “angel army” business, because it hits too close home. It digs painfulmemories.

DEAN: Cas, I know you try to be a good guy, okay? Ido. You try. But what you got here, this is a a freakin’ cult.

CASTIEL: Dean.

DEAN: And the last time you had this kind of juice,you did kill humans and angels, and you did nothing but lie to me and Sam aboutit the whole damn time!

There’sno way it could get any clearer than this. Metatron is aware of Dean and Cas’history. Above all, he knows Dean would be subconsciously uncomfortable if hewere forced to relive those memories, which is important, because Metatron hasforeseen what happens next. Dean asks Cas to stand back (when it comes to investigating what’s going on with Josiah missing – another event set up by Metatron), but Cas doesn’t. SoDean sends Sam with Cas, and stays with the angels. This is exactly whatMetatron wanted.

METATRON: Mm. [Josiah] was a loose end. I – I told him where the gate was…Before we moved it. I just wish Cas had walked into one of those traps. Anyway, point is –while everyone else is playing checkers, I’m playing monopoly, and I always build a hotel on Boardwalk. And I always win.

That’salso why Metatron has Gadreel recruit Tessa: she has history with Dean, so he totally expected Dean to be the one who finds her. He knew neither Sam or Cas would be there.

DEAN: Just you and me now. Let’s talk about us. Imean, we got history, yeah? (9x22)

So far,all that has happened was foreseen and planned by Metatron. Remember, eventsmay change, but he knows how the story ends. 

Here’s some points Metatron set up and/or foresaw (wow, casually these are also some of the beats of the episode)

-Dean has brought the First Blade with him, lying toSam. (this foreshadows he’s gonna use it)

- Dean doesn’t like the cult-like situation Casseemingly got himself into (this perception is strengthened by the angelic kamikazesMetatron has recruited), because it reminds him of all that happened by the endof s6, and it still hurts.

- Metatron sets up a trap for Cas with Josiah, a pretext to have himleave his headquarters and leave Dean alone with the angels.

-This brings Dean to instinctly have doubts about this wholething. His excessively protective and controlling behavior (enhanced by theMark) leads him to send Sam with Cas, because he senses Cas may be falling in a trap,while Sam is anyway safer with Cas than with a bunch of fishy angels.

- Of course, Dean and Hannah don’t really like eachother with //no apparent// reason. Once again, the reason is subtextual. They’reboth jealous and fighting for Cas’ attention. Dean has noticed how smitten she looks when she’s around Cas, also makes a remark about how “creepy” is her calling Cas “commander” (funny implication: Dean’s interpretation of the word is sexual)

-Metatron has also Tessa recruited. She has historywith Dean, so of course it would pick his interest once mentioned. Tessa endsup impaling herself on the First Blade, so that Dean looks the one who brokethe rules and killed her. (Which will lead to Hannah asking Cas to punish him)

-Cas comes back, and Metatron goes on with his plan. Hetalks to the Castiel’s army, lies to them, but also tells them some big truths.He undermines the angels’ trust in Castiel and gets away with lying, because healso says the truth. Cas is dying and he will put the Winchesters in front ofeverything.

-Hannah, who of course wants proof of Cas’ loyalty buthas also been jealous of Dean since the first moment she met him, asks Cas tochoose. Us or them. Subtextual implication: me or him.

- Castiel, of course, chooses Dean. Duh.

Metatronwas the one to set up this choice moment, because he knew the outcome. After all, it’s during the crisis that a character’s true motivation comes out. Hannah, feelingcheated on in more than one way, leaves. Suddenly, Cas has no army. Metatron has flippedthe script, and he used Castiel’s true weakness to do it. He’s in love… withhumanity. Except humanity can be narrowed to one human, like Metatron does in9x23, when he can’t help but boast about how he knew Castiel’s true motivations.And he does it so cruelly, almost mocking him, just to drop the bombimmediately after. I’ve always been one step ahead, and no matter how hard youtried to save Dean, I’ve killed him.

Metatron also used Dean’s feelings for Cas to manipulate both of them and push the story where he wanted. If Dean hadn’t felt so strongly about Cas, if he hadn’t still been hurting because of Cas’ betrayal, the plan wouldn’t have worked.

PS. While writing this I forgot that also killing Kevin was meant to strenghten Dean’s desire of revenge against Metatron.

DEAN: I’m blaming you [Metatron] for Kevin! I’m blaming you for taking Cas’ Grace. Hell, I’m blaming you for the Cubs not winning The World Series in the last 100 freaking years. Whatever it is… I’m blaming you.

We know how it ends. We don’t know yet how it ends for Dean and Cas. Guess we’ll see.