#because i am so full of rage

[darkestpsi]

when i say that i like both dabi and shouto i dont mean it in the "oh my god they're so hot i wanna fuck them" kinda way or the "lol they both hate their parents just like me fr" way but that i really do understand how its like to grow up around such tough, hard love. to have your entire worth, the level of care and responsiveness you receive in moments you definitely should not be seeking this constant validation but your fucking veggies and milk - all of that being based off just how useful you can be to your parents; being told that the point of your life quite literally is for the fulfilment of thEIR dreams, in THEIR way, under THEIR supervision, yknow?

like, i can literally not even begin to count the many recordings on loop i have of my mums voice in my head telling me to always be better and to do so much more, be so much more - achieve things, great things and live to just please and please and please - for herself, for her dead mother (who probably doesnt even care about half of the shit that i have done since she passed, because dead people cant feel - they cant feel, but somehow their presence still suffocates), for the status and the level of respect itll give both her and my dad (so that they wont ever be referred to as immigrants again) and the amount of money ill eventually get paid thatll somewhat, somehow all go back to them, anyway.

point is, dropping so suddenly from being so loved and praised and shown off when you were younger and tried your hardest to be that bit better to the broken toy you are now, unable to carry out their tasks - demands, even - easily replaced by someone younger, someone so much better than you; worth so much more than you. when they are born.

idk.

i joke alot about how similar my family dynamic is to the todorokis, the distance between me and my siblings now after all it was that we went through together and how im literally doing medicine for my parents so that they can get their doctor, and i can get my peace, but its very truly something ive had no control over my whole entire life. all ive wanted is some damn control. lmao. my mum literally named me after a doctor she saw on tv who was giving a lecture about medicine and i laugh at the fucking irony of it all because god, you dont even realise that this is fucking killing me, ma- but the thing with touya, the parts of him that diverge from my own experiences is the fact that he was able to break free from all of those restraints secured by his family, the goals they set him, the ones he set himself. the guilt and disappointment and oh my god, how could you -why - why would you regret not being able to meet those expectations and him being thrown aside like everything he ever received was so palpable and fleeting because he was a toy, was always a toy to my mum endeavor. he knew he couldnt compete with shouto. shouto the gifted child. the hero. the hate and anger he feels towatds him, idk, it hits so fucking close to home. but i also see so much of myself in the way shouto is so fucking willing to be the good child, the perfect child, who pleases and pleases and pleases; doing everything he is supposed to without retalliation because thats what hes supposed to do and thats what they want him to do and eventually, someday, somewhere he will get his peace as a hero, because he was "born to be the best", born to be a doctor hero - literally both sides of my personality at war oh my god AAAAA

i literally can not help but attach myself to those characters.

[potatobugz]

buddy is surrounded by horrible horrible adults like at all times and it is deeply stressing to me. not to baby him, i do think he is easily mislead but he is not stupid. but also like. can he be given a moment to breathe actually. can he not be manipulated for one second. please put him in a normal social situation with regular teenagers his age please im begging you

[smhalltheurlsaretaken]

to that anon I got about my last posts: if you're hurt that I'm talking about antisemitism on tumblr rather than the Israel/Palestine conflict itself then you're going to have to make your peace with a star wars blog not being an effective platform for activism.

This is the point I've been trying to hammer home perfectly illustrated. I deviated ever so slightly from what's allowed on the subject to say that I can't participate in this website's idea of 'raising awareness' (distributing real facts and misinfo alike without a care and being a bunch of fanatic Jew haters in the process) and that I don't think I'm able to critically and accurately examine every piece of news that gets passed around here, and you're taking this to assume I don't care. So no, I'm not going to spend my time trying to prove that I do care to that particular crowd.

You're upset with me for not treating this like I did fandom and assuming I value fictional characters more than real people because of it, but it's precisely because this is infinitely more important that I'm not going to be doing real people the disrespect of giving my two cents on their suffering and deaths on the same platform I did STAR WARS.

[giftedeath]

surprise is such a good episode for the vampire crowd like it rly takes the season one, half - baked soul lore of ' its a demon and it takes ur body but ur not really the human version of yourself thats dead ' and sort of puts that idea in a box and shakes it up bc the judge's first words to spike and dru are "u two stink of humanity u share AFFECTION 🥺 and jealousy" but then meets angelus and is like oh yeah .. there's not a spec of humanity on this one and to me .. to me ... that's just chefs kiss like what makes them different ? and like its LOVE 🥺

[cosmogyros]

It's fucking weird how rude people are about immigration sometimes. And I don't just mean bigots being biased and stuff. I mean that, on a REGULAR basis, people ask me if I'm thinking about "going back to the US". And I'm just like... no? What do you mean "back to the US"? I live in Germany. I LIVE IN GERMANY.

I literally fucking started learning German and obsessing on German culture in high school, then I went to college in the US and majored in German Studies, including two study-abroad programs in Germany, then I moved to Germany for grad school and lived there for three years and worked in various German-speaking jobs while studying, then I had to temporarily return to the US but found a German-translation-based job at the US branch of a German company, and made a bunch of German or at least German-speaking friends in my new US city, and then a few years later I was able to move back to Germany, where I got a work visa sponsored by my employer and a full-time salaried job, and after a few more years I acquired my permanent residency, and soon I'll be applying for citizenship.

And people still sometimes ask me whether I'm considering "going back to the US". Like... dude? Would you ask a Mexican living in the US about their plans for "going back to Mexico"? That is rude as fuck.

Immigration is fucking hard. Why on earth would I have gone through all this shit just to throw it up in the air like "Oh well, never mind!"

[kindheartedgummybears]

you wanna know what??

I am

TIRED

of overmasculinized werewolves!!!!

I WANNA SEE A

WEREWOLF

WALKING AROUND IN A CVNTY LITTLE OUTFIT!!! WALKING THE STREETS!!!! DISEMBOWELING CREATURES!!!!

I WANNA SEE WEREWOLVES COVERED IN BLOOD AND GORE WHILE WEARING A SHORT SKIRT AND CROPTOP WITH HELLO KITTY ON IT!!!!

I WANNA SEE A WEREWOLF WALKING AROUND IN COTTAGE AND FAIRY AND PRINCESS CORE OUTFITS!!!!!! WITH A DEAD MANGLED RABBIT IN ITS MOUTH!!!!

AND MAKE THE WEREWOLF

D I S G U S T I N G ! ! !

[noctlas332]

[side-sidecast]

pleaseee let me have the death note pleasee ill only use it once just once please please pl

[sherlock-is-ace]

.

[boyfridged]

Do you agree that Jason, as written by Winnick in UTRH and Lost Days, acts out of character post-resurrection if we take into account his post-crisis robin days? If yes, how would you have him act/react to stuff after he comes back from the dead?

tldr: i definitely agree. moreover, classism plays a huge role in it, and i don’t think that at this point the storyline could lose these implications, which makes trying to conceive what an “in character” (for robin jay) version of these events would be quite difficult. 

let’s just start from saying that i don't think it's a secret that i don't really like winick in general. despite his work being mad interesting on a conceptual level (and style-wise, genuinely well written!), he has no love for the characters he writes about. 

imo utrh shouldn't even ever make it into the mainstream batman timeline. i am aware that this is a radical opinion, but my take is that it would do best as an elseworld story (and in this version too it would need some tweaks here and there), because it made damage both to the mythos of batman and jason's legacy that can never be undone. the very premise of the story is so deeply disconnected from jay's original place in the narrative, and so classist at its roots, that there's not much room to truly fix it. 

(i want to say, preemptively, that i am aware that there are people who read utrh as a story of a revolutionary and a victim – and they have the right to do so, but ngl, my view has always been that it was never written as that. utrh reinforces so many stereotypes that it overshadows the revenge tragedy spirit of it all.) 

another disclaimer is that, to be honest, jay doesn't have a very consistent characterization even in his 80s run, and it also has some classist implications that ideally should be either erased or addressed in the text (that winick instead exaggerated and put at the very front of his storytelling.) starlin's writing is, at the end of the day and very much ironically, more sympathetic and gentler in evaluating jay (simply because at the time he would not get away with changes too blatant) but details such as jay saying that "all life is game" and his random nonchalant behaviour that has its origin in the very beginning of starlin’s run are already signs of it. some readers will trace jason's arrogance prevalent in his red hood era to these issues and say that his actions post-res are therefore a logical extension of his robin days, but i don't buy it. even if you want to lean into starlin-esque characterisation, if you consider the core problem of the garzonas plotline – which is power, jay shouldn’t look into the solution of anything in climbing to the top. and if he did, it would have to be written as a “becoming what you feared/hated most” kind of story, which i can see a certain appeal in (and which would at least acknowledge that it was not his initial personality), but which would go back to its classist assumption of cycles of violence and doomed fates.

so – how to make his post-res era more accurate to his post-crisis robin days (and least classist in the process)?

if we were to follow my fav iterations of his characterisation (barr’s detective comics and the ntt appearances) tbh I don’t think a lot would happen, because his personality is quite mild, and just so hopeful there that i wouldn’t expect any extreme actions from him – but then again, the circumstances that he finds himself in post-res, the trauma, and his sensitivity do warrant grief that should become a driving force in his life from now on. the question is, what to do with this grief as a plot device?

i know that plenty of jason fans hate this take but I actually think the concept of jason trying to be detached and cruel but being bad at it might be one of the least offensive to his 80s characterisation. it’s def not accurate to pre-52 canon (apart from countdown perhaps) but imo for jay to be authentic and nuanced he should be conflicted about his own actions. his overconfident behaviour should be a pose – just as his frantic acts in his origin story as robin were. (again, something that many readers don't take notice of – but reading the rest of collins' writing wherein jay quickly settles into being easy-going and even a bit shy is proof of it.)

these two points lead to the “no good deed” narrative that I often talk about - the reading that jason saw his intuitive and self-sacrificial kind tendencies as something that brought him pain and that never was quite efficient, and that post-res he intentionally tried training himself out of. there are some flashes of it here and there throughout the years of the red hood publishing history, but it never got a true spotlight. and if i were to write lost days, jason flinching at his own violence would be a focal point of the story. 

moving on to utrh; i have spoken about it at length before but I think if he were written 1. with more political sensitivity 2. to have retained the same maturity re: the social order 3. to have the same idea of morality, he should have followed more of actual revolutionary tracks and the whole “drug lord” authoritarian figure schtick along with the idiotic idea of “controlling crime” would have to be thrown out of the window. 

and, later on, forgiveness should play a big role in his story. he's so quick to forgive and justify everyone in his robin run – this is also why i reckon his team up with harvey in tfz was a wasted opportunity.

so, in conclusion – perhaps not that much would have to change re: his actions but definitely a lot should change regarding his emotional journey and his position. i would def throw out a lot of mindless violence and power posturing out of it though. and perhaps make him a bit more polite just for the sake of more consistency (this is not me taking a moral stance btw nor tone policing a fictional character. i just think it would be more faithful to his 80s writing unless you want to make him explicitly scared. and it would be funnier tbh.)

[the--days]

so it's like this.

you're young and you're scared and you're trapped in the feywild (happens to the best of us) with the love of your life. You're a half-elf and she's a fullblooded elf but you don't think about it very much because you're barely surviving day to day. And you get offered a deal to get yourself home again, and you take it. And the price of your freedom is that you leave her still trapped there, alone.

And then five years pass. And you age a century in that time, and you grow, and you change, and you find her again, and you're still in love, and you meet people, and you lose people, and you love them too, and you learn, and you start wanting a future again, and caring again, taking care of yourself, taking care of other people--

and after all of that, at the end of things, you find out the man responsible for all of the misery in your short, sad life has cast a spell which gives him complete control and ownership of you- mind, body, and soul (again. this happens to the best of us). And you are given the choice to stay under his thrall, and live a thousand years-- or to age and die, like humans do, and to be free of him.

And the love of your life is there, and you're married now, and she's still a full blooded elf, and you're still a half-elf, and you think about what that means a lot more than you used to.

And still, after everything you've learned-- you choose your freedom. You choose leaving her behind.

[emile-hides]

Hello Romantic Killer tag I am back I finished the show Riri’s still on Thin Fucking Ice but I will concede it was worth the watch and I am looking forward to a season two if it gets one

[owl-with-a-pen]

so I was thinking about Supergirl season 5 again and I remembered that some people were upset with Brainy in the second half of season 5 because they didn't think he was as smart as he's supposed to be, and should have been ahead of Lex mentally/had a plan to defeat him. But maybe him being a step behind Lex would have been more understandable/more angsty if Lex was literally mind-controlling him? Like maybe he borrowed Lena's technology to keep him in line, inhibiting him again by cruel irony.

CONT: and meanwhile either Brainy is completely aware of what's going on with him, and it's terrible, or it's a more subtle control by Lex and he makes excuses for something feeling wrong with him. So either way, at the end of the season in this scenario I would still have Brainy do the thing with the bottle, but have it be more an act of defiance/rebellion against Lex, probably with Brainy laughing in his face as Lex is gloating in that scene and taking the pin that kept Lex safe from the radiation.

See this is super interesting, because I've always thought that Brainy struggling to keep up with Lex/outright failing to felt very in character for him as of where he was at that point in the show. I feel like we seem to forget that although Brainy was uninhibited while working for Lex and, therefore, theoretically mentally superior to him, Brainy was also in no sound mind to actually be able to embrace the full extent of his intellect.

While working for Lex, Brainy had to spend all of his time pretending to be someone else. He had to hold up a very stiff and unemotional front to try and convince everyone around him that this was what removing his inhibitors had made him, otherwise his whole plan would fall apart. We know from season 6 that Brainy was absolutely not okay when it came to dealing with his emotions, especially his rage against Lex, and this was becoming very clear through all the interactions we saw between Brainy and Lex in the second half of season 5. Brainy was barely holding it together, and Lex knew that, which was why he knew he had the room to play with his food for a bit and make Brainy think he'd actually achieved the upper hand.

Brainy spent so much of his time with Lex questioning his own actions, feeling guilty every step of the way, hating himself for crawling closer to the evil alignment the rest of his family had wanted for him and (I'm gonna assume here) not sleeping very much, if at all. So, failing to see Lex's whole plan always made sense to me. Brainy was not in a fit mental state to do any better than he did and, to be honest, with all said and done his plan actually was still very ingenious. Incorporating an aspect of the Brainiac line he hated so much by bottling Leviathan was also extremely satisfying, especially considering he went into it knowing he was likely going to die and so reclaiming that ability for good was one hell of a way to go out.

This being said, I do love the ideas you've brought to the table, especially with regards to giving Brainy a proper moment to rebel against Lex. Lex using some form of mind control on Brainy would have definitely upped the angst to insanely delicious proportions. Maybe not from the very start of their partnership, but the more Brainy resisted Lex's plans, or the more obvious it became that he was clearly interfering with them where he could, maybe Lex starts to set something in motion then. Maybe Brainy notices because of how freshly released from being inhibited he is, or, maybe worse, he doesn't realise for those exact same reasons. Either way, it would give Brainy even more fuel to the fire when it came to his final face off with Lex.

Brainy never really gets the closure he sorely needs for everything Lex put him through, and I really do love imagining an alternate version to the scene where Brainy does have the upper hand in that Leviathan ship, maybe he rips Lex's pin from his lapel when Lex underestimates how much energy Brainy has left when he tries to take the bottle from him. Just something that gives Brainy a bit more power over the situation. It'd also make Lex realise that pushing the emotionally unstable Coluan to the limit maybe wasn't the genius plan he thought it was, especially when all of Brainy's anger surges out with Lex as his sole target.

I am overall glad that the end of season 5 left Brainy in a position where his anger towards Lex was unresolved, because that gave us some excellent scenes in season 6. It's no secret that I love Brainy and Lena's dynamic and the scene where Brainy starts detailing exactly how he's planned to kill Lex in the most horrific way possible is up there on my list of favourite scenes ever. So, I suppose, yes it would have been satisfying to see Brainy defy Lex, but also what we got from Brainy failing gave us so much more angst where his unresolved anger was left to stagnate.

[suncaptor]

makes me feel a bit insane that Britta is seen as being insane and selfish for being upset her parents who she's spent her life trying to get away from are using her friends to stalk her just because she's suffering financially and needs help.

[pettyprocrastination]

thinking about how when ellie finds love and family for the first time in her life and has it ripped away she responds with violence and rage, she’s screaming and shouting and breaking shit until she’s too tired to keep going and then how when Joel tries to give Tommy the job of taking her to the fireflies she gets quiet, passive-aggressive and closed off

[fooltofancy]

why did i come back hereeeeeee