#because i cobbled them together from the plans of like 3 different buildings.

[pygmypouter]

This place is a message... and part of a system of messages... pay attention to it!

[bersergner-blog]

Practice 1-5.3 - Post-Mortem

As mentioned before, I was rather ill during this project and therefore only managed to do a fraction of what I had planned.

I started with these images to nail the feel of the city as well as it's diverse environs even among the same social class. I was planning to do more of these. 3 for every "class"/neighbourhood. But found no time. After I'd recovered enough from my illness to work at full capacity I had to push on to the 3D.

The Neighbourhood

Since I had only had time to draw those 3 areas I simply started with them.

Then started to assembled other bespoke buildings. This took longer of course but I really wanted it to feel like this cobbled together place with a lot of character and these lived in areas.

This really helped me figure out how the player would progress through the level. I wanted them to feel hemmed in and on edge, surrounded by walls until they hit the fountain where the area opens up more. The plan was to take screenshots from specific sections and paint over fake screenshots of the game, with UI and character, but sadly there was no time.

The Night Guard

I wanted to represent the Night Guard as these machines designed with a 'historic, authoritarian, heroic' look (imagined through the victorian culture as medieval). They are symbols as much as they are machines designed for a purpose. I took to designing a lot of helmets to find the look. Then worked from there.

The final design. Not quite happy, mostly with the overcoat. But I think it works well as a proof of concept. The inner workings are very victorian/clockwork while the outer shell is very knightly and the overcoat 'modern and functional' in the eyes of the victorian public. I also sketched out different outfits for different occasions/settings.

Additionally I designed a base weapon. A Shield and Gladius (which slots into the shield to be used as a thrusting weapon to enhance punches.

As well as a basic infected.

Reflection

Because of the time I lost I feel like I didn't really get to represent the idea fully. In particular the final clothing design doesn't feel right, we didn't get to see the whole thing and how it fit together, the atmosphere and I'm really miffed I didn't get to design any monsters. I was really looking forward to going crazy with it. But at the very least I was happy to get some more time with Maya especially without having to worry about texel density, UVs and Materials. I would really welcome the chance to dive back into this idea and build it out further.

[cienie-isengardu]

Not only do I not regret asking you to "RELEASE THE RAMBLES!", I'm sending you requests for more. Below is a list of questions that I asked @bihansthot , and enjoyed their answers, but because you are so thorough, and answer in such depth, I'm re-asking them to you.

Brace yourself, it's a list. I didnt have time to sort thru them, I just copied and pasted, so if any are questions you already answered before, please feel free to include the links.

"LET US BEGIN!"

---------------------------------------------

In the spirit of potential future writing,  I'm trying to find a building that  would make a good substitution for Lin Kuei temple.

I've tried looking up ancient Chinese military barracks/forts, and have found some stuff,  but is all exterior.  Anyone know of any locations (or several I can cobble together) that would make good inspiration fodder?

---------------------------------------------

So, uhm, religion? What's the Lin Kuei's take on that one? I know they are aware of Gods, they team up with/ encounter Raiden all the time,  and have literally worked for/against Shinook, so I know they recognize higher powers... but I  guess the question is,  do they care?

Do they have a religion,  or spiritual practice that resembles religion? Or do they have a more practical approach "gods exist,  but we just consider them very strong people"?

Which segues into... do they recognize and participate in holidays, or things like birthdays? Or are all their celebrations work related (I.E. successful missions or levels of combat mastery)?

---------------------------------------------

Food.  What foods do they normally eat? What foods do they like?  What foods don't they like? What foods do they absolutely love so much they'll stop what they're doing to get it?

---------------------------------------------

If you had to match the Lin Kuei with a dynasty,  what one would it be? (I know the 2021 movie has the opening in the Ming dynasty, so the Lin Kuei is at least that old,  but given that movie Bi Han hasn't aged in 400 years, and was taken is a child,  its probably much older) (and also know the game probably cherry picked random Chinese things it liked).

What do you think the Lin Kuei's view on artistic culture (probably not the right word) is? I know they are heavily militaristic,  but in the game,  Kuai Liang offers Hanzo tea and he properly prepares it the Japanese way, that says they have something of an education other than just related to fighting?

Lastly,  in the movie,  everything Bi Han does is "for the Lin Kuei", but the Lin Kuei is on Earth (assumedly),  and he is working for a guy who wants to enslave Earth, so what do you think the deal is?

---------------------------------------------

Question about the Cryomancers. I know the game lore says that they are supposed to be rare, but I also know that the Lin Kuei have had at least 5 (grandpa, papa, older, and younger Sub Zero,  and Frost). 4 of which are part of 3 generations that inherited it even with mixed blood (I'm assuming Mama Sub Zero wasn't Cryomancer since they left her alone).

That's a lot of generations in a row for a rare trait... So do you think the Cryomancers as a group have figured out they're being hunted and have chosen to live in hiding?

---------------------------------------------

Lin Kuei society question? I like writing so I also like world building and I think about these things.

Is Lin Kuei society ever covered? I know there is a Grandmaster, a handful master assassins (Sub Zero's, Sektor, Cyrax, etc) and the  movies always have a bunch canon fodder lesser assassins.

And they live in the very isolated Lin Kuei Palace/Temple in Arktika (or wherever it used to be)

But is Lin Kuei (we'll call it "village") ever covered?   Do they have willing servants, kidnapped slaves, or a mix of both? Are there women (non fighter women,  I know there's Frost) or do they employ strictly male help? If there are women, what's their role, and are there children born there? What about Elderly? What about resources,  is everything (from food, clothes, weapons, and the raw materials to create them) grown or manufactured on sight by skilled laborers or do they import/interact with the outside world? How vicious or civil is this society, could you be killed for looking at Sektor wrong or do they value your services to a degree? What's the degree? This is obviously a combat culture,  but is everyone expected to know martial arts of some variety, is it optional, or do they prohibit it among the servants/slaves? How strict are they on things like clothing, food, alcohol,  drugs, "luxuries", or pleasures? Money? If they interact with the world do they recognize and use $$ currency, commodity currency, or a mixture? Internally are the Lin Kuei payed or just provided for? What about illness or injury,  if you're not a master and it a serious injury/illness are you taken care of or do they just give you a quick death?

Etc. That's all the questions I can think of,  but please feel free to answer questions I didn't ask,  if you think of anything else.

Thank you for this wonderful list to talk about! I’m gonna split the answer into smaller parts, for better focusing on each aspect but also so I don’t feel bad for keeping you waiting for ages, lol. For now let’s focus on asks about the religion!

So good questions! I do think they have some spiritual practice(s) because in martial arts the state of a mind is as important as the physical body and religion is one of many ways to shape someone’s mindset from a young age. I do, however, think that Lin Kuei does not worship the gods. They are aware that the gods exist (with Raiden as the thorn in the side) and may even respect their supernatural powers and battle skills but it never has stopped Lin Kuei from desecrating holy places, murdering people and stealing stuff for the best price. So, it seems to me that whatever religion the members of the clan follow, by nature it is rooted in nontheism.

Of course, there is also a chance that Lin Kuei worships some forgotten deity or deities (as a remnant of their ancient connections with Outworld / realms conquered and destroyed by Shao Kahn?) or may even practice ancestor worship which seems like a good way to uphold a widely understood tradition that plays an important role in the discussed community.

The closest thing to religious practice was seen in Mortal Kombat X, when Sub-Zero and his warriors seemed to pray together before statue of god / deity / ancestor / legendary warrior / personalized thing they value the most (sadly, my knowledge about Asian religious practices or faiths is very limited so I don’t have idea if the statue is supposed to represent any real god/religious symbol).

At the same time, it could be just a bluff since Grandmaster was aware of Cage’s team infiltrating the Lin Kuei territory and used this moment to lure them into a trap. Additionally, Mortal Kombat X comics presented once Kuai Liang sitting before the same statue albeit in a completely different (devoid of reverence?) position.

Of course, if we take into account Mortal Kombat Armageddon, the game states that Lin Kuei Temple placed in Arctika was actually once the Temple of Delia (the great sorceress & wife of god Argus) that at some point get abandoned and re-used by Sub-Zero’s clan.

(In the background, we can see a statue of Delia that Lin Kuei does not worship but did not remove for whatever reason. Mixing both old and new games, we can only wonder if MKX!statue is also the remnant of someone else's faith/religion?)

Beside that, Kuai Liang was pretty vocal about Lin Kuei not worshipping the Elder Gods, what was seen in MK11’s intro dialogue with Cetrion

Sub-Zero: The Lin Kuei do not worship the Elder Gods.

Cetrion: We seek gratitude, not worship.

Sub-Zero: I see no distinction.

and personally did not have any reason to pray to the goddess:

Sub-Zero: Why should I pray to you?

Cetrion: Why does a bird flap its wings?

Sub-Zero: I asked a simple question.

In all fairness, in MK11 Kuai Liang seems the most passive-aggressive toward the Elder God while Frost is focused on her ambitions and Noob!Bi-Han just wants to be left alone when bothered by Cetrion. Similar thing happens toward Raiden. Despite gratitude for saving him, Kuai Liang does not spare the god criticism (can’t serve both Elder Gods and Earthrealm, isn’t fit for his role of protector) and in MKX outright says he does not fear divine beings:

Raiden: Sub-Zero...

Sub-Zero: I fear no gods, Raiden.

Raiden': That's why you shall lose.

Surprisingly, Kuai Liang’s interaction with MK11!Fujin sounds less accusing than with Raiden and Cetrion and it is connected closely to their ties with Bi-Han. And maybe Kuai Liang did seek in the past Fujin and other elements to make a peace with them, like he planned to do so in Mortal Kombat 4 Limited comics?

"I came here to make peace with the gods of the elements that you fought [...]"

Anyway, the accusingly behaviour toward Raiden and Cetrion could be just Kuai Liang’s personal dislike for gods and serious authority issues, which makes sense considering how much he suffered because of their meddling and conflicts.

But honestly?

The available examples of Lin Kuei attitude toward gods, demigods and supernatural beings suggest how little the warriors - especially cryomancers - care for them.

Like, we have Bi-Han in Mythologies, who asked Quan Chi about details of mission:

Sub-Zero: If it's so precious, why don't you get it yourself?

Quan Chi: I cannot enter the temple until the four elements within its walls have been defeated. And I am not on the best of terms with the gods of your realm... especially your god of thunder.

Sub-Zero: Tell me about these elements.

Quan Chi outright said he and earthrealm gods weren’t friends and Bi-Han, reading between the lines, could get the idea that he may end on bad terms with Thunder God. Yet he was interested only in elements (lesser gods than protector of realm?) guarding the temple.

Then Bi-Han beat down four demigods and met a displeased Raiden after Quan Chi got the Shinnok Amulet. His reaction? No fear, like meeting an angry god was a normal occurrence.

Rayden: Do you realize what you've done??

Sub-Zero: I was just earning my living.

Rayden: Your clan's ignorance and greed will cost this entire realm. You must now set things straight.

Sub-Zero: Quan Chi could simply be a lunatic sorcerer. I've never heard of an elder god named Shinnok or of a place called the Netherrealm.

Rayden: Well, you'd better start believing in both, because you're going to the Netherrealm and you're going to bring the amulet back. We must act quickly. I have no dominion in the Netherrealm... You are reality's only hope.

Sub-Zero: I'll do it, Thunder God... but only because I have no choice.

And once he came back from Netherrealm, where he was fixing what he messed up in the first place on Raiden’s order, his abrasive attitude did not change much:

Sub-Zero: Here... the amulet.

Rayden: Impressive, Sub-Zero. Perhaps you will reconcile your reckless past after all.

Sub-Zero: That's it? Not even a thank you?

Of course, to some degree Raiden’s words did have an impact on Bi-Han but even the god’s warning about his soul tainted with evil did not stop him from coming back to Lin Kuei. Bi-Han’s attitude and/or approach to gods seems to change somehow once he was reborn as Noob, but that is a different matter for different times.

Anyway, Mythologies!Bi-Han and MK11!Noob act less aggressive toward gods than Kuai Liang. But then we have Sub-Zero from from the MK novel by Jeff Rovin, who not only is not afraid of gods but outright insult them:

“Wait! Be warned, Shang Tsung. He is cursed!”

“Cursed? By whom?”

Ruthay wailed, “By the immortal Yu.”

Shang Tsung felt cold spiders crawl up his spine. “The demigod Yu?”

“Yes… he who is said to dwell in the underground caverns of Horse Ear Mountain… which is sacred to the goddess Kuan Lin. He who protects the canals… and the tunnels… and looks after all who use them, human and animal.”

“What did our brash friend do to Yu?”

“He… killed a man,” said Ruthay.

“What man?”

“A toll-taker… one who had given up a life of crime… one who had been a partner of the man… you… seek.”

“And how did that crime come to the attention of the spirit of Yu?” Shang Tsung asked.

“The man was killed… slowly disemboweled with a sword… while accomplices forced his wife and his son to look on! After his murder… the man’s remains… were dumped into a canal!”

Shang Tsung raised an eyebrow. “Is that all? I was expecting something truly terrible!”

“It was!” Ruthay shrieked. “When he disposed of the body… in that way … he profaned one of the sacred waterways… of Yu!”

Shang Tsung smiled now. “Then he is definitely the man I want,” he said. “Anyone who is impudent enough to insult a demigod won’t be afraid to attack a member of the White Lotus Society, or the gods who watch after them. I will send Hamachi, Ruthay. When he nears his goal, see through his eyes and guide him!”

Book!Sub-Zero was impudent enough to insult a demigod which is why he was one of Shang Tsung’s favorites. And to be clear - book!Sub-Zero did not regret insulting the demigod at all. Even more! He found humor in it!:

He dwelt in a cave two hundred feet up the face of a cliff by the sea. The mouth of his home was barely wide enough to accommodate a slender adult, and was accessible only by climbing the sheer wall of rock, a feat that was impossible for most adults and daunting even to the few arachnids and marsupials that tried it.

Maybe some of them were even sent by Yu, he thought with a smirk, little assassins who would chastise me for having spilled blood in his precious canal.

The less abrasive attitude toward gods was shown by Cyrax, who talked a bit with Raiden over Bi-Han’s remains. He wasn’t outright antagonistic but wasn’t overall respectful either. He talked with Thunder God like he would talk with any other human being that wasn’t actually Scorpion. Frankly, from the named Lin Kuei only MK9!Smoke actually addressed Raiden in respectful manner, with proper bow and the name of lord

albeit did he do so because he respects the divine beings or just out of gratitude for saving him, hard to tell for sure.

So yeah, it seems like no matter what kind of timeline or age or medium of the story, Lin Kuei does not fear gods nor pray to them. And the clan has a long history of dealing with Raiden, so the Lin Kuei had first-hand experiences with supernatural beings. Somehow, cryomancers are the most impudent warriors when it comes to dealing with or criticizing the gods.

Interestingly, as much as Lin Kuei warriors don’t care for gods, most of the known to us named characters believe to have - and to care - for their own souls. Sektor and MK11!Frost embraced the Cyber Lin Kuei idea but Kuai Liang, Cyrax and Smoke were opposed to C.I. project out for concern for their souls among other things. Even Bi-Han, to some degree became concerned about his soul after trip to Netherrealm.

Believing in souls is usually a sign of belief in the afterlife, albeit after all of them went through (the change into cyborgs, death and change into Revenants) this is less a matter of faith (religion) and more first-hand experiences. And let's not forget that regularly dealing over the centuries with Shang Tsung who steals people's souls on a daily basis makes it really hard to not believe spirits are real.

Also, an interesting matter of Lin Kuei practices that could have a religious/spiritual ground and/or be an example of ancestor worship is the clan’s funeral rites. I don’t think we actually saw any Lin Kuei to bury their own (especially after warrior’s failure?) and for sure MK9!Cyrax and Sektor did not bother to take care of Bi-Han’s remains. However the sources provide examples of Lin Kuei keeping corpses, most likely of their own leaders or warriors.

And so, we could see human remains:

put in two coffins on each side of statue

hidden / kept in a block of ice(?) in chamber of Fallen Lin Kuei in which Frost’s frozen body was also laid, but on the altar

Cyrax’s cyber body was kept and guarded by Sub-Zero (and this is like the only thing that Kuai Liang and Cyber Sektor so far agreed on)

and even Cyber Sektor’s remains, even if just for pragmatic reasons, are kept in what seems to be respectful manner:

It could be just Kuai Liang’s good nature to honor fallen of his clan (I’m still not sure if Lin Kuei Palace is the new place for Sub-Zero’s clan or the ancient hideout) but even in MK Conquest TV series, after Grandmaster was killed by then-currently-Sub-Zero, there was the farewell ceremony with clothes on display (cause there was not much left of body after freezing and shattering) while new leader gave the speech promising to punish the guilty.

Which makes me think that Lin Kuei did honor their fallen warriors (especially those exceptional, deserving). Such custom and apparently common belief in soul could also support the ancestor worship - both as some ancient, mythical ancestor(s) connecting warriors into one clan (family) and tradition to follow in the footsteps of forefathers (Bi-Han taking place of his father [old timeline] or grandfather [current timeline] or Kuai Liang taking Bi-Han’s place as Sub-Zero).

My general conclusion about Lin Kuei is that its members believe in souls, have respect and use of spiritual matters (meditation?) and maybe ancestor worship. Whatever the religious / spiritual practices they have over the centuries, it is not something they will share, as the Lin Kuei by nature are secretive people who keep personal things mostly for themselves. The people that joined the clan (Cyrax and Smoke) maybe kept their old, eventual religious beliefs but overall, Lin Kuei warriors did not fear, care for nor pray to gods. They may respect god (Raiden, Fujin) as a person but not because of their divine nature. And even that would not stop them from criticizing said god. Which is pretty much how Kuai Liang and Raiden’s relationship looks like. Grandmaster is grateful to Thunder God for saving him but he won’t blindly follow his authority.

(Kuai Liang has serious authority issues, hasn't he?)

As for holidays, I can’t really see Lin Kuei to follow any specific religious (theistic) special day cause they don’t care much for gods in the first place. Unless they worked undercover and needed to act as normal human beings, religious holidays would mean nothing to them. The warriors may however celebrate their mission success, combat mastery or promotion between themselves or in secret, I think. Like, Lin Kuei did forbid friendship because it was considered warrior’s flaw yet we know some members either were blood-related (Kuai Liang, Bi-Han, previous Sub-Zero - father or grandfather, depending on which timeline is correct) or considered each other a family (Kuai Liang and Tomas Vrbada) and most named characters worked in duos so they have both opportunity and knowledge about each other to celebrate important matters. If they managed to remember anything from previous life, that is. Because from ancient to at least Great Kung Lao’s times most(?) adepts were kidnapped from biological families at a really young age (something around 6 years old). And Mythologies: Sub-Zero takes that even further:

Its warriors are chosen at birth to be raised apart from the workings of day to day civilization and are stripped of their former lives. Only the clan knows their existence. Each of them posses certain skills and abilities that set them apart from normal men. These abilities are passed on from generation to generation and honed throughout the experiences of life.

So, celebrating birthdays doesn’t sound like happening much, unless those with family around could allow themselves such luxury. The clan may however celebrate the day of becoming a fully trained and sworn warrior? Or the fallen warriors? Who knows.

Also, something worth thinking about: in Mortal Kombat Conquest TV series, when the Grandmaster presented newly appointed Sub-Zero to the rest of the clan, he “celebrated” the cryomancer's first official performance as the execution of two men who failed their mission. So, yeah, celebration of something special in (old) Lin Kuei does not necessarily mean anything nice.

(The next part of answer most likely will be focused either on food or architecture / origin of Lin Kuei. Let's hope I will get it written sooner than later)

<><> EDIT <><>

RELIGION <> ORIGINS / ARCHITECTURE <> FOOD <> FOR THE LIN KUEI <> ART <> CRYOMANCERS <> LIN KUEI SOCIETY <> MONEY & MATERIAL GOODS

[salmonid-ink]

Let’s talk about Salmonid intelligence!

There seems to be a wide misconception that Salmonids aren’t intelligent, or at the very least, aren’t as smart as Octolings or Inklings. This idea couldn’t be farther from the truth! And because I’m the Resident Salmonid Fanatic™ it’s my job to talk about this. 

In hopes to make people consider and think of Salmonids in a better light, and NOT as pets, I’m going to do my best to pull evidence from in-game, as well as interviews, that imply or outright confirm that Salmonids are sapient, much like our beloved Octolings and Inklings. 

To start, I’d like to touch on their interactions with other creatures, namely their trade deal with the Octarians. It’s hard to argue for Salmonids not being intelligent when you consider the confirmed fact that they actively trade with other creatures to benefit the both of them.

They exchange their useful Power Eggs (and perhaps vegetables and fruits) to the Octarians for mechanical blueprints, weapons, and machine parts (and potentially tentacle cuts for food). We can wager this trade deal has been going on for a long time, as the Salmonids are fitted to the gills with machinery, and you can make the argument that the Octomaw was inspired by Maws!

While the Salmonids could easily take these blueprints and make the machines exactly as the Octarians planned them, these fish take it one step beyond and put their own twist on things! With their intellect, they’ve customized traditional weapons to suit them better, and the examples can be seen in just about every boss you encounter. 

Ink Storm + Brella -> Drizzler

Sting Ray -> Stinger

Ink Jet + Tenta Missiles -> Flyfish

Splash Wall -> Steel Eel

Baller/Splashdown   -> Steelhead

Shielded Octotrooper + Roller  -> Scrapper

Octocopter -> Chinook

Flooder -> Griller

Octo Seeker -> Mothership

Additionally, they are INSANELY resourceful, able to use any scrap of metal or machinery to make their contraptions, and make them decently reliable. Not to mention the fact that Scrappers are able to repair their cars! On the fly! All while under fire! That takes dedication AND smarts!!

Not to mention the fact that Smallfry, who could very well be babies (and I will argue that they are, as there is no benefit to stunting the growth of ANY creature), are able to pilot Flyfish. They were raised just right in the best environment, and now they’re super smart!

Also, Salmonids are crazy creative, with how they’ve incorporated their cookware into their weaponry. They take their aesthetic to the next level, man.

Next, lest talk about their homes!

It’s vastly clear that they have their own society. At the very least, we can take a glimpse of it with their houses. The Lost Outpost (known as the Colony at Sea in Japan) is a great example of this!

While these houses look like they were cobbled together with recycled parts, which falls in line with Salmonid resourcefulness, they are clearly stable living spaces that were built by he Salmonids themselves with ocean living and fishing in mind. 

Additionally, towards the back of the stage, we can see another house with a city on the horizon. While this is purely speculation, I don’t think it’s too much of a stretch to believe that this city is Salmonid-owned. The areas you go to are claimed to be restricted ocean zones, and given that you’re so far out that you need a house-sized radio dish just to communicate, it’s hard to believe that the city would be owned by anyone else. 

I think these city-based homes would be owned by Salmonids that work with machinery, such as repairmen and mechanics. This could also include artisans! Farmers would obviously live in more rural areas, where they can plant and grow their crops. 

We can also glean a similar idea from the Spawning Grounds (called the Salmonid Dam in many other languages): 

I will argue until the day I die that the dam found in the Spawning Grounds, as well as the adjacent city, belongs to the Salmonids, as evidence by its proximity to the stage, the green water pouring from the dam, and the very clear Salmonid mark on it.

Whether this city was built by them, or it’s one they took ahold of and built upon during one of their past migrations is yet to be determined, seeing my speculations are even true. Either way, it’s clear that the Salmonids are capable of building structures and homes with ease!

If we talk about their homes, even if this is much more on the speculative end, we’ve also GOT to talk about the factory we can see at Marooner’s Bay:

Again, given the proximity to Salmonid territory, as well as the various Salmonid-themed items around the stage, we can speculate that these factories are Salmonid owned, and perhaps where they work on many of their machines and devices.

Things such as Scrapper Cars, Steel Eels, Flyfish jets, Grillers, and Motherships could be constructed here, or this place could be used for processing water or chemicals! It’s a rather vague factory, so again, this is all theoretical. I haven’t a clue what they do here. 

Next let’s talk about their art. The existence of art alone should be enough of an indicator that they have minds to think and feel with! Especially when their designs are as intricate as these:

The most of these can be seen around the Lost Outpost and Spawning Grounds, but every single stage has a few of these markings floating around. I don’t currently have many in-stage caps on hand, but if you take the time to look around, you’ll find a few on the ground and walls!

While a lot of these are very clearly graffiti markings, the intricate designs may have some meaning. While we haven’t a clue what exactly they mean, or what they represent, I think they’re extremely fascinating, and give us a peek into what culture Salmonids have. 

They’re likely made with stencils, but all the same, they were designed carefully, and must hold SOME significance.

I have a theory that these designs are primarily to mark specific territories. Perhaps certain marks mean different schools and families! Or some of them could be warnings, such as to indicate Grizz activity (such as with the bear icon, which appears in a few stages). 

I believe in part, these are a form of expression, ESPECIALLY if they indicate schools. There are so many unique fish-shaped designs, it’d be cool to see how these correlate to individual groups!

They could also be a visual indicator for Inklings and Cephalopods that, yes, this is Salmonid territory, so you’d best stay away! Because while it’d be easy for a Salmonid to tell what area belongs to who by smell alone, Inklings certainly don’t have that luxury!

At any rate, I’d love to see what personal art looks like for Salmonids. What kind of crafts do they make? What sort of things do they love to paint? We don’t really know, and we can only speculate...

One thing we know for certain is that Salmonids appreciate music. It even seems as though they’re inspired by it, given the descriptions that the Salmon Run songs have.

I feel like this is worth stating, even if their existence is fairly common knowledge: ω-3. A band. That plays complex instruments. And does all their own mixing. 

Pretty freakin’ smart, I must say!

Additionally, each of the members have VASTLY different styles. The Cellist is stern and stubborn, and won’t accept anything but the best, be it in passion or in radical works. The timpanist is soulful, passionate, and is straight to the point. The DJ is reckless and disrespectful, yet puts forth his best effort.

All three of them are so unalike to one another in style and personality. They may not even get along that well, but at the end of the day, they value working together SO MUCH that they make amazing, unique, and great-sounding songs that stir and inspire their people. 

It’d be amazing to see what other types of music that Salmonids like, because this can’t be the only kind. However the style of  ω-3 certainly goes hand-in-hand with the chaotic, resourceful, and determined nature of the Salmonids. 

We should also touch up on the fact that Salmonids are stated to have tradition. Aside from their 70-year migration, they’re also stated to pass cookware from generation to generation in Sunken Scroll #19.

"Salmonids are known to keep their weapons in tip-top shape. The frying pans they wield have often been passed down from generation to generation. You can see the unwavering pride of these fierce warriors in their (somewhat crazed) eyes."

I like to think that they also pass things like recipes and other tools down to their offspring and kin. Family and schools on the whole appear to be very important to them, which ties directly into their drive to work together as a unit, rather than separately as a makeshift team.

For some conventional evidence, look at this one bit from the Merry Fishmas piece, posted by official Splatoon sources: 

I LOVE this image, and there are so many tiny details that you can make out in this. Such as these two:

THEY ARE PLAYING CARDS, and this ain’t no dogs playing poker bit, either! It looks like the other one is losing really bad... Or going into a food coma. One way or another, the other Salmonid is trying to check up on them, haha. Or maybe they’re trying to sneak a peek at the other’s cards? Who knows! That sly grin tells a story.

Also, there’s this Goldie, who is fishing:

These are all pretty human-like characteristics, which makes me think, all the more, that they’re on par with Inklings intelligence wise. I REALLY want to see more interactions like this someday, it fills my heart with delight and joy.

Phew.. Well, thank you so much for sticking with me through this whole thing. I hope this helps people get more perspective on Salmonids, and what little we know about their community and culture. 

[idrellegames]

Hi so if I wanted to make a game like you did, do you have any advice?

Hey hey!

If you’re new to creating an IF game, there are a few things to think about:

1) Interactive fiction is a huge undertaking. Even if you plan on making a small game (like, say, 30k per average playthrough), the amount of content you’ll have to create to account for player choice is going to grow exponentially depending on how many choices and different mechanics you include. You will want to be prepared for that. As you’re planning and developing, start small and allow for natural growth as you get more comfortable with your systems. If you choose a bunch of gameplay elements right off the bat, you’re going to get overwhelmed.

2) Play IF games. Like a lot of games. Check out different platforms and different engines; this will give you an idea of what’s in store, what your eventual game can look like, and what restrictions you’ll be working with. 

For example, ChoiceScript offers very little control over what your game looks like; Twine allows you to develop your own stylesheet, so you can customize your game’s appearance to be pretty much whatever you want. If visual elements are important to you, that’s something to consider. (Inkle, Ren’py, and other IF engines are, again, all different).  

3) Choose an engine and practice. Get accustomed to what the code is like; this will help you plan your gameplay mechanics and figure out how to execute them. You can see my post here which includes popular IF engines and links to tutorials for beginners. 

You don’t need to make a full game just to practice; I usually keep what I call a “mess copy” in my Twine editor so I can practice different gameplay elements and figure out how to code them using placeholder text. 

4) While you’re practicing coding, start developing your worldbuilding. Write down some thoughts about what world you want to set this in. If you’re doing fantasy, you’ll want to figure out the rules of your world (how your magic system works, how your supernatural elements work, the cultures, the people, etc). As you figure out your setting, think about ways you can implement that worldbuilding into your game mechanics (for example, Wayfarer’s ancestry option reflects the different peoples that inhabit the world). 

5) Make a beat chart. I know there’s usually a big debate surrounding the benefits and drawbacks of outlining and some writers really do not like outlining, but if you’re making an IF game, at the very least make a beat chart of your entire game. A beat chart breaks down the overall narrative structure of your game into very broad building blocks. It maps out the process of how you get your characters from the beginning to the end of your story and account for any major variations along the way (for example: multiple endings). Though IF incorporates player choice, there is still going to be a roughly linear thoroughline. You want to know what this thoroughline is before you start writing, otherwise you are going to get overwhelmed with new ideas and variations and remember, content grows exponentially in IF. 

If you don’t have a plan, you may back yourself into a corner where you it is physically and mentally impossible for you to create enough content for all of your choices and variations. 

6) If you’re working in Twine (or another engine that allows you to import your own CSS stylesheet), spend some time researching web design. I started learning CSS because I wanted to use custom tumblr themes and pages; a lot of my love for web design comes from tumblr’s theme maker community. Seeing how designers have made designs I like has been a really good source of inspiration. I’m at the point now where if I have an idea I want to execute, I can usually google it, follow a tutorial and a functional version of that idea. It may take a few tries and it might be a little cobbled together (I’m still a CSS novice), but I can usually make something work. 

7) Get involved in the IF community. Whether it’s on tumblr or on the Choice of Games forum or intfiction, spending some time researching common IF gameplay mechanics and reading how different developers have handled them is really valuable. I lurk on a lot of forums (usually when I’m researching a problem and Google has led me a random corner of the IF community) and the conversations on these forums are all very valuable. 

[imagine-that-one-thing]

Rise Of Glory || 6

Again, it cries, and again, and again.

Harry and I wander to the cobble steps to his mother's house, Alex asleep in Harry's arms from the long drive. The drive was quiet, not because I am tired but because I don't know what to say at this point. Nothing I do or say is going to change things or make anything better. I am at a loss.

The door opens, and his mother stands in the doorway, bewildered by our sudden appearance. I don't blame her. It is unlike us to abruptly show up on her doorstep. Most of the time, Harry gives her a heads up.

She grants us her routine tender smile and ushers us inside.

"What brings you two here suddenly?" Harry's Mum questions.

I glance towards Harry, curious as to what he plans to tell her. Telling your mother you only came to visit to see a grave is not something you'd want to admit out loud or at all.

"Uh," Harry clears his throat, "The media have swarmed my building and are starting to come out at the house. We came here to get a break," Harry answers, opening his arms to half-hug his mother, who he has missed dearly, he won't admit it, but he has. He may hate having to come to Cheshire, I don't think that will ever change, but he loves having his mother back in his life at a more constant and healthier level. Their relationship has improved tremendously since I came here when we first started dating all those years ago. I still remember that weekend like yesterday.

It was the weekend I realised that the man I was falling in love with gives everything he has, mentally, emotionally and physically, to his mother and sisters wellbeing. He'd allow himself to drown a million times if it meant his family could stay afloat.

"I'm going to put him down," Harry informs his mother and me, giving me a tired smile before walking past me and down the hallway towards Harry's old bedroom.

Harry's Mum peers over towards me, her brows furrowing and her lips pursing; I can tell her thoughts are ticking away and that something is playing intensely on her mind. She has the same expression Harry has when he wants to say something but leaves the words on the tip of his tongue, unsure of whether to say them or not.

I cock my head to the side, debating myself whether to give her the go-ahead to tell me whatever is on her mind.

"He's lying to me," Anne bluntly states before I can figure out how to ask her what's on her mind, "You had to have left at around 3 in the morning to be here by now. He's tired, almost like he hasn't slept in days," she points out, "And you… you look exhausted too. I don't believe it's the media at your house that caused you both to drive up here… I'm not complaining. I'm just… I'm curious."

"It has been a long week for him. He wanted to get away." I don't know who I am trying to convince more, myself or her.

"He hates it here with a passion. I have seen the articles."

I nod, agreeing with her. She knows the truth. Harry doesn't bother trying to hide the fact that he still hates this place. Even when we first started dating, he made it known he wasn't happy to be back. His home town brings back memories he doesn't want to remember, especially when he and his relationship with his mother were strained to the point they weren't speaking at all. "This is where he wanted to come."

"But it isn't where he wants to be… he hates it up here… are things that bad in London?" She questions softly, and I can't help but nod. She looks me up and down and bites her lip for a moment, almost as if she's holding back whatever thoughts are racing through her thoughts, "Are you and Harry okay? You're not fighting or?"

"We're fine," I immediately cut her off, "It's the business and the media that's pushing him off the rails."

"Mhm," she hums, "And you, are you okay?"

I give her a small smile and nod, "I'm okay."

"You're lying."

"Anne—"

"Honey, don't take this the wrong way, but you look exhausted. Have you slept at all?"

"It's been a rough few months," I softly respond, "It has taken a lot out of me."

The last three months have been an absolute roller coaster, mentally, emotionally and physically. I'm not quite sure how I've managed to keep things together to the extent I have. There are still days I feel like the world's weight is so heavily on me that I can't breathe. There are days I feel like I'm drowning and can't pull myself away. There are the days I feel like I'm finally okay and can breathe, but the second I manage to come up for air, there's something to pull me down, whether it's work-related, family-related or past related.

"Why didn't you call? Harry kept saying you were fine."

"I have been fine," I respond softly.

In all honesty, I have been fine… kind of. I'm as fine as what can be expected, considering the events that have happened. I'm not going to lie, I may be fine, but I'm still very much up and down when it comes to things. There are good days, and there are bad days.

"If you ever need me, I'm just a call away. You know that, right?" She offers me her sweet, caring smile that has always assured me of tough times and situations.

"Yes, I know."

"Okay, go get yourself some sleep."

"I have work I need to do once I get my laptop out of the car. We might be up here, but the business doesn't stop just because we aren't there."

"Well, at the very least, take a seat on the couch, put your feet up and relax for a minute. Let me at least make you some tea."

"You're too kind to me," I smile towards her.

"You're kind to my son. It's the least I can do for my darling daughter-in-law," she beams.

Anne hands me a steaming cup of tea as I answer a few emails from my phone, too tired to go out and get my laptop. "I have one last question."

"Mhm," I hum, waiting for her to ask what is on her mind.

"What happened to his hand?"

"Oh, he was washing dishes and somehow cut his hand," I tell her the truth.

I don't think it is my place to tell her about Logan or that Harry might be losing his mind. Right now, it is up to Harry to speak to her and want to talk about things. I cannot force him. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. Harry will speak when he feels like speaking, and he will tell his mother when he is ready and on his terms.

I don't think I should be the one to tell her that we made the long drive up here just because Harry can't wrap his head around the fact Logan has risen from the dead. No mother wants to hear that as a reason as to why their son has finally visited.

I wish I could say that we visit here often for good occasions, but it is far from the truth. We come up here for holidays, and that is as far as it goes. I have made the drive a few times with Alex to get away from the city, but that has been on rare occasions. Harry doesn't like the idea of me making the drive on my own, and he hates having to come up here. We have settled on staying away from Cheshire and having his mother visit us when she can. I do wish things were a bit different. I do wish we lived closer to his Mum or came up here often. I think it would benefit Harry to be around his mother more and have a family sense. He has my family, but it is different. His mother is irreplaceable, and I know that deep down, he misses his sister. They may not be on the best of terms right now, but I know he loves and misses her.

When Alex is a little older, I would often like to bring him up here to see the neighbours' baby animals. He would love playing with the goats and picking fresh farm eggs, which is not as usual in our life. He would be thrilled to run the fields without a care in the world, a completely different environment compared to home. We have a lot of space for him to run around at home but nothing like the countryside.

❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈

With Harry's fingers laced with my own, I pass the identical headstones that I passed in November of 2021, on the same day we buried Logan.

Nothing has changed about the cemetery. It's still as uncanny and ill-fitting as it was that day. The headstones are still cracked and withered with the voyage of seasons. It is a shame how the graves fade away. It's almost as though since these souls have left earth, nobody cares enough to fix up the graves that have cracked and deteriorated. It bothers me now like it did the day I walked through here a few years ago.

This cemetery is old, at least over 100 years old. I remember noticing some of the inscriptions when I was here last dated back to the 1800s. These monument stones of cold, decaying cement have presumably observed more people and tears of melancholy and exuberance than one could probably picture. And yet, nobody can take the time to take care of the graves. There are scarcely any flowers on the graves.

It disheartens me that as I escort past all these graves, I still feel saddened even years later because we pass by people who have once lived and wandered this very earth.

"Harry, are you sure it's this way?" I challenge as we pass another row of headstones.

I can't tell if my anxiousness tells me we have gone too far or if we need just to leave and go back home. Part of me doesn't want to wander any further than what we have. After all, walking through grave yeards is always eerie.

"I'm sure I know where my dead brother is buried," Harry grimly mutters, "I was here for it." Harry reminds me of the day he endured.

"No need to be so… morbid," I inform him, doing my best to keep my voice low. We don't need an argument in the middle of a cemetery, even if he is a dickhead.

I stop in my tracks, and Harry turns to glance at me as his hand leaves mine, "Why are you stopping?" Harry questions, and I can't help but take a moment to take in his features as a distraction.

I don't know how to tell him that I don't feel comfortable walking in this cemetery, I don't want to go any further, and I don't think this is a beneficial approach. Nothing good ever comes from this place. I push away my thoughts and feelings, "I couldn't remember if I checked on Alex before we left," I lie. I know I checked on Alex before we left. He was still asleep and cuddled up to his teddy bear.

"We both did, love. Mum knows what she's doing, and you know that, relax," Harry responds, kissing my cheek before lacing his fingers back with mine and beginning to walk again.

Harry and I come to an abrupt standstill, and the two of us become withdrawn while we take in the view of what's in front of us. Harry squeezes my hand gently, and I can't help but squeeze back, a small amount of reassurance for him to know that I am right here and that I can see the same thing he can see.

The deafening silence is intruded abruptly and without signal by the ghastly screech of a blackened crow— the same intense screech that I swear I first heard once Logan was buried in this plot.

Again, it cries, and again, and again.

I shiver as a tingle operates through my body, the character of the crow sounding like nails on a chalkboard. This is the same place I stood in years ago when the crow first screeched—Harry was squatting by the grave, gazing at the soil, and I was standing right here.

I take a breath of the crisp air, and my eyes immediately cast themselves on the crow that is shrieking. Its relentless stare catches my own before I take note that it isn't alone. Harry and I are outnumbered and are intently observed by one… two... three… four… five crows, possibly six; I can't tell if the shadow in the distant tree is one of them or not. Either way, I wish we had never come here. They say if you see five crows, sickness will follow; see six crows, and death will follow.

A gust of wind whisks past us, settling brittle, dead leaves to dance around our shoes to take my gaze away from the crows. I watch the leaves swing around our feet, twirling around us like vines, almost as though they're tightening around our feet and ready to pull us down. I caress my hand to my stomach as I observe the leaves tumbling, leaving me with a heavy feeling in my stomach that twists, knots, and tightens like the motions of the leaflets. The breeze declines, and the leaves become motionless.

I gaze back towards where the first crow was, only to find it gone, leaving me with nothing but an unsettling uneasiness in the pit of my stomach and an abandoned grave of where Logan used to rest.

[why-this-kolaveri-machi]

i’m an idiot. i screw everything up.

Titans 3.03

still here, still doing this. these reviews take a fair bit of time that i cobble together across days (like, ten minute chunks during breaks, etc) and i tend to struggle to keep up with episodes as they come out. this means that by the time i’m done with one, most of my stuff is jossed (or geoffed in this case? idk) or outdated and the post sinks like a stone into oblivion. so! i’m going to change things up a bit with this one and write as i see the episode rather than collecting my thoughts later. in my experience with spn, that was a faster way to get them done. 

anyway. let’s see how it goes! *shadowboxes*

SPOILERS ahead.

1. an auspicious start with some grave-digging!

digging up a grave and breaking open a coffin is some serious, back-breaking work--that dick did it on his own, likely straight after that fight with red hood, is a testament to the sheer intensity, stamina and discipline that he’s capable of. like, we like to joke about dick cooking cauliflower crust pizzas and making gar and rachel spar and memorise sun tzu--and despair at the obvious consequences of some of bruce’s parenting skills--but imagine crime-fighting almost daily without any superpowers, performing some of the most intense parkour in bulky, uncomfortable armour, doing detective work, pushing through every last barrier of exhaustion and then getting up to repeat it all over again the next day. dick probably thought he was going extra-easy on rachel and gar.

1.5. then again, dick probably had a hundred different easier ways to confirm whether jason was still buried or not, from using equipment to merely asking connor to have a quick look with his x-ray vision. but, no, he’s too caught up in confusion and terror, not really having come to terms with jason’s death in the first place, leave alone the possibility that he could be alive after all. he can’t possibly let the others know until he’s confirmed it himself, even if it means digging all through the night until his arms are jelly, thinking over and over again about jason’s eyes, jason’s voice, from behind that red mask. 

... besides, dick has good reason to believe that he could’ve been hallucinating. wouldn’t be his first psychotic episode, after all.

that just imbues this sweaty, desperate, fingers-scrabbling-in-gravedirt scene with that much more poignancy, and a fair bit of bone-chilling terror. dick is horrified to realise that jason’s grave is empty, but a part of him is also probably relieved.

1.75 (... also it’s curious that we’re never shown any of the team asking to see jason’s grave after they come to wayne manor. i guess it’s because the writers--and the audience--know that jason is actually alive, but these people don’t know that. i don’t know if it’s sad or infuriating or both that they’re barely shown mourning him.)

2. oh GOD the sheer TENSION in kory saying, “i don’t want to say it, but--” and dick quickly interrupting, “it was jason. i saw him,” and hank giving him this loaded sidelong glance. i love how dick’s precarious mental health from last season is still this big elephant in the room but at least nobody’s blowing up in his face and questioning his every decision yet

2.25. i love the relative matter-of-factness with which they’re discussing a possible resurrection. and, of course, ra’s al ghul is brought up and quickly dismissed

(still wouldn’t put it past this show to bring him up at the very last second as the real real mastermind)

2.5. “maybe they can bring donna back” OH KORY

2.75. didn’t they have this same conversation about killing/not killing rose last season? man, the og titans make me tired.

and i don’t know if it’s just hank, but there’s a definite in-group/out-group vibe going on with the og titans, where they’re not only ready to consider killing anybody who threatens the group but makes it difficult for new people to fit in. donna and kory got along well with each other, but the dynamics between hank/donna/dawn and gar/rachel/rose were somewhat strained, and with jason, they were really fucking terrible. it makes sense when you think about how the titans started and how they broke up the first time--both were fairly disruptive events, i’d imagine, in that they probably got together to break away from their mentors and strike out on their own, and when they split up, it was the first time they felt directly responsible for the loss of an innocent life.

but the titans that dick is leading now is explicitly about mentoring a young generation of heroes, about second chances and found family. dick definitely wants to reach out to him first, and i have a feeling he’s going to be forced to make some sort of terrible Choice later on in this episode. 

2.8. (honestly tho, this also seems like hank struggling with his own guilt re: jason; if red hood is not the kid that he failed, it’d be easier to fight him.)

3.

HANK NO

4. honestly this season is already ticking off so many things on my wishlist, but i really wish dick would sit down with the newer members of his team and trust them with important information the same time that he’s telling them to the other members. gar searching for help and reassurance from a man who just dumped all of his responsibilities on his son overnight and went AWOL is a sad sight

4.25. has it only been just 48 hours????? wow! jason’s definitely been planning the red hood gig for a long time now...

5. ezekiel, my man! shady looking guy gets into your cab without a destination in mind... no problem, get right in! said guy gets a call to go to the observatory when he’s barely even looked out of the window so far at gotham... yep, a damn tourist! i want more ezekiel in this show.

5.25. (of course jason has upturned table lamps all along the floor... we have to *gritted teeth* balance the TEAL with the ORANGE don’t we?)

5.5. “dick’s a fucking psycho--he could be following you right now.” hank... has no objection to that lol

5.25. hank, hank... this is bad-decision-palooza. i can’t imagine that hank actually thought that jason was reaching out to him for help, given that the last time hank and jason had any substantial interaction hank had been one of the people accusing jason of sabotaging the team. but for him to go seek out jason and go along with his demands without any backup, weapons or equipment? not the best idea he’s ever come up with.

(add to that getting into the swimming pool of a condemned gym... oh yuck.)

((yes, i have enough self-restraint to not cap his ass.))

(((cap his ass! HA!)))

5.5. do you think jason has bugs/monitoring equipment planted in wayne manor to monitor the titans, or remote access to the cave’s systems? wouldn’t put it past him.

6. oh man, hank came back before dick and the others could meet ezekiel! this is TRAGIC

6.25. i mean, it’s plot-convenient that connor was able to give so much information about the bomb from just looking at it once, but i also like to think it’s the luthor-side of him coming to the fore. it also reminds me of that (in)famous scene from the new52 run of Nightwing comics, where a bomb was attached to nightwing’s heart and luthor disabled it by killing nightwing (temporarily). it’s a neat little callback. 

6.55. “where i come from, you go after family? there’s no mercy.” BUT THAT’S THE PROBLEM ISN’T IT

6.75. i mean, dick’s making sense: this is a game, and they need to get it off playing out on jason’s terms. but having a member of his team in his face, doubting his reasoning and every decision? a very familiar sight. 

6.8. krypto with an a+ sense of humour? also a very familiar sight.

7. wayne enterprises... providing the military with... bombs that can be implanted in humans? a BIIIIG yikes. i guess it’s not too many steps above developing clandestine intra-dermal trackers and implanting them in your own sons, and bruce probably thought they could be used as part of negotiation tactics, but still... YIKES.

7.5. on the other hand, conner being asked to build a deactivation advice seems part of a growth arc that started from last season... he knows so much, but part of growing is learning, and part of learning is using what you know to create something new.

8. oh man, my heart broke at hank going “i’m an idiot... i screw everything up.” like. for him to go like this, after being brought down to such a low last season? struggling with pain and addiction and his relationship with the love of his life? it’s so sad.

9. oh, oh, oh! ronnie from schitt’s creek! i love her!

9.5. “one of jason’s minions” took his body out of the morgue... how deliciously morbid that he planned out his own death like this!

10. TALK TO HANK, DICK

honestly, tho, i’m quite impressed with dick here. trying to think beyond just the most alarming part of the crisis at hand, keeping his cool, delegating tasks, frequently touching base with different members of his team... well done. 

10.25.... whoops, spoke too soon. i’m genuinely confused here, tho. where did the van full of gold bars come from? why did they stop there and get out? how did dawn even know about this?

on the other hand, it’s cool to know dove has bulletproof feathers!

10.5. eh... curran walters isn’t really selling red hood’s menace to me so far. but then again, if titans version of red hood is vulnerable-kid-with-father-issues-trying-to-overcompensate, then yeah! yeah, it makes sense. 

11. “when bats have sex, they gotta have something to hang from” OH GOD HANK

... because i want smiley!gar on my blog :)

11.5. awww. i feel sorry for hank but NONE of these fuckers deserve gar except maybe kory

12. ohhh FUCK! look at jason being exactly one step ahead of the titans at every turn. nice.

no really, i love the building stakes and the building mystery - i feel like the deathstroke arc from last season should’ve been more like this. the flashbacks about jericho and rose came too late and after too much build up, which resulted in a very underwhelming and confusing season throughline.

13. HANK AND DIIIIIICCCKKK

“you’re doing your best by me. always have.” WAILING HERE

it also kills me to think that hank thinks that his imminent death is because of his failure to keep the team together (when he was clearly struggling with his own issues and was spiralling towards rock-bottom) and his fear that he will once again be the cause of the team falling apart. 

also:

14. “i grew up... you can, too. you just have to face your fear.”

yep, got scarecrow’s grubby little fingerprints aaaaalllll over this. 

14.25. nightwing’s got specialised batarangs! yay! (somehow i can’t see this universe’s dick calling them “wingdings”)

15. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

oh man, that was devastating. well done, show. fuck, well done, jason.

this is going to bring up all sorts of “if onlys” for the team. i can’t wait for some fucking aftermath. 

[femalechibiblogger]

5 Underrated Cartoons That Were Cancelled Too Soon

1. Clone High

Clone High is set in a high school in the fictional town of Exclamation, USA, that is secretly being run as an elaborate military experiment orchestrated by a government office called the Secret Board of Shadowy Figures. The school is entirely populated by the clones of famous historical figures that have been created and raised with the intent of having their various strengths and abilities harnessed by the United States military. The principal of the high school, Cinnamon J. Scudworth, has his own plans for the clones, and secretly tries to undermine the wishes of the Board (Scudworth wants to use the clones to create a clone-themed amusement park, dubbed "Cloney Island", a decidedly less evil intention than that of the Board). He is assisted by his robot butler/vice principal/dehumidifier, Mr. Butlertron (a parody of Mr. Belvedere), who is programmed to call everyone "Wesley" and speak in two distinct intonations.

The main protagonists of Clone High are the clones of Abraham Lincoln (referred to as "Abe"), Joan of Arc, and Mahatma Gandhi. Much of the plot of the show revolves around the attempts of Abe to woo the vain and promiscuous clone of Cleopatra, while being oblivious to the fact that his friend Joan of Arc is attracted to him. Meanwhile, John F. Kennedy's clone (referred to as "JFK"), a macho, narcissistic womanizer, is also attempting to win over Cleopatra and has a long-standing rivalry with Abe. Gandhi acts in many of the episodes as the comic relief. Also on a few occasions, the characters that we see learn most of "Life's Lessons" the hard way.

Why it was cancelled: An article in Maxim Magazine depicting Mahatma Gandhi being beaten up by a muscular man sparked outrage in India. Clone High was caught in a crossfire when citizens in the country conducted internet searches on the Maxim article but also found out about the show's Gandhi character on MTV's website. This sparked an outrage in India over the show's depiction of Gandhi. On January 30, 2003, the 55th anniversary of Mahatma Gandhi's assassination, approximately 150 protesters (including members of parliament) gathered in New Delhi and vowed to fast in response to Clone High. Tom Freston, the head of Viacom (owner of MTV), was visiting the network's India branch and was "trapped in the building", according to Miller. In 2014, he recalled that protestors "basically threatened that they'd revoke MTV's broadcasting license in India if they didn't take the show off the air". MTV offered a quick apology, stating that "Clone High was created and intended for an American audience", and "we recognize and respect that various cultures may view this programming differently, and we regret any offense taken by the content in the show". Miller would later recall that executives at MTV enjoyed the show, and asked for the duo to pitch a second season without Gandhi. Lord and Miller's two potential versions of a second season included one that made no mention of Gandhi's absence, and another that revealed that the character was, in fact, a clone of actor Gary Coleman all along, and the show continued as normal. "We pitched that, and it went up to the top at Viacom again and it got a big no," he remembered.

2. The Awesomes

The show follows a group of superheroes who step in and replace the members of a legendary but disbanding superhero team. Under new leadership, The Awesomes attempt to put themselves back together in the face of intense media and government skepticism.

Why it was cancelled: On December 17, 2015, Hulu canceled The Awesomes after three seasons and did not renew it for a fourth season due to low ratings. The Awesomes was the first time Michael Tavera composed music for an adult animated series.

3. Invader Zim

Zim dreams of greatness. Unfortunately, though, he's hopelessly inept as a space invader. Desperate to be rid of the annoying Zim, his planet's leaders send him on a mission to infiltrate Earth, providing him with leftover, cobbled-together equipment. To their consternation, Zim succeeds in setting up a base on Earth and infiltrating human culture, posing as a human child as he plots the planet's downfall. Only Zim's archnemesis, Dib, recognizes that Zim is an alien, and of course, nobody believes Dib's claims.

Why it was cancelled: On the subject of why Invader Zim was cancelled, creator of the show Jhonen Vasquez said, "I could go on and on with variations of the most fantastic reasons for why the show was cancelled, but in the end, even I couldn't give you the whole and accurate truth for why the show got pulled," he wrote in a lengthy post on his website in 2010, nearly eight years after the show wrapped. "The most likely culprits are simply ratings and the sheer expense of the show, which was monstrously expensive at the time, especially when compared to more modern, flash-based savings fests."Nearly nine years later in 2019, Vasquez was interviewed by Syfy and said:

I never point to any one particular thing [as the reason for why Invader Zim was cancelled. The show could've come out at any point in history and I don't think it would ever really be appropriate... I think there's always horrible things happening in the world and genuine comedy comes from horrible things. At the time, it just happened to be things like Columbine and 9/11 and then people freak out because they don't want to offend anyone's sensibilities. It's a justified response to a certain extent; there's people who have been affected and they don't want to be reminded of this awful stuff… I just think that it did not jive well with Nickelodeon's image.

In an interview with Syfy in 2018, Richard Horvitz, the voice of Zim, was questioned about why the show got cancelled; he responded:

There's been a lot of rumors that have abounded for years about why Invader Zim was canceled. People think it's the Bloody GIR episode, because there's a quick subliminal shot of GIR all bloodied, but that’s not it at all. Nickelodeon knew about that shot and they didn't seem to mind. But what [the cancellation really was] is this plain simple fact: We had horrible ratings. There were two things that were going on in 2001. Our ratings were not doing well, our demographic at the time was not The Fairly OddParents demographic, which is what we premiered with, and we premiered to really, really good critical acclaim. But ratings-wise, the only real barometer [was the] target audience, 6 to 10 year olds, and I think that it was a little too much for that [demographic], and the parents also might have thought it was a little graphic for them. Our ratings never really got off the ground. One other thing that people often forget, is that the show premiered in March of 2001. By September of 2001, we had the horrible downing of the twin towers. Given the mood of the country at the time, I don't think people wanted to see shows that were about any kind of destruction or anything that had to do with someone trying to conquer the Earth.

4. The Oblongs

A clever comic parable of society's ills, "The Oblongs" depicts the warped world of a bizarre yet loving family of have-nots who live in a toxic valley and can't seem to beat the caste system of the beautiful people living high on the hill. The animated series is based on characters created by author Angus Oblong ("Creepy Susie and 13 Other Tragic Tales for Troubled Children").

Why it was cancelled: Could not find a specific answer. The WB network just decided to cancel it even though it had good ratings. 

5. Wander Over Yonder

The series follows Wander, a nomadic and overly-optimistic intergalactic traveller and his best friend and steed, Sylvia the Zbornak, as they travel from planet to planet helping people to have fun and live free, despite the continuing encroachment of Lord Hater, one of the most powerful villains in the galaxy, and his army of Watchdogs.

The show's first season is episodic; there are very few strong ties between episodes, and they can be viewed independently of each other. In the second season, however, a more sequential story is introduced; as Lord Dominator begins to conquer the galaxy, the show's tone becomes more serious and the focus moves from stopping the rather incompetent Lord Hater to stopping the extremely competent Lord Dominator. As a result, the episodes are more closely linked and there are several developments in the overarching plot.

Why it was cancelled: The creators of the show were not given a specific reason, even though they had plans for a third season.

[raendown]

Pairing: MadaraTobirama Word count: 5434 Chapter: 3/5 Rated: T+ Summary: They wake in a forest far from home. Bodies lay dead and broken across the clearing. All they can remember is their names. (Madara falls in love with a single look.)

Follow the link or read it under the cut!

KO-FI and commission info in the header!

Chapter 3

No matter how attached he was to the man he lived with there was only so long Madara could stay shut away in the same house before cabin fever struck. The small tastes of freedom he got from their explorations of the marketplace had him craving more before long so when Hashirama offered to show him around the administration tower where he supposedly worked it was an easy decision to go. Tobirama waved them off with a distracted face that Madara knew meant that he would probably be coming back to find something in their house on fire again but, since that was just part of the man’s charm by this point, he left without a fuss.

What Hashirama called the administration tower turned out to be the same massive building in the center of the village where they had met him their first day back here. It was good luck that the weather today was so nice since Madara insisted on hovering outside for several minutes just to take in the sight of such a large structure.

“You said only a few years ago none of this existed?”

“Nope! Nothing! The whole village used to be forested land!”

“Huh.” Madara tilted his head back to look up at the top floor. “And we were really at war before that happened?”

At the reminder Hashirama wilted ever so slightly. “Yes, unfortunately. It took many years even after our fathers’ deaths for us both to convince our people to lay down their weapons. After so many generations fighting each other there were…a lot of people not ready to stop.”

“I guess I can understand where they would be coming from.” Madara brought his head back down to find Hashirama blinking at him rapidly, both eyes wide and staring.

“You can? But I thought you wanted the fighting to stop too?”

“How would I know what I wanted then?”

“Oh right…”

“Just show me the inside.”

Hashirama grinned quickly, all signs of bewilderment fading away, and he leapt to open the door for both of them. If anything Madara had expected his only familiarity with this place to be the one memory he had of it from a few weeks before. He was surprised when stepping in to the front hallway came with the same comfortable sort of feeling as he got when he stepped inside the home he’d made with Tobirama. Whether his head remembered or not his heart knew this was a place where he belonged. And that was nice, he supposed. It would be nicer if the rest of him could join the party.

Despite apparently being only a few years old the wooden floors in the hallways looked well tread with the boards in the center already turning a different color from so many feet travelling back and forth every day. Madara swallowed the irrational urge to bend down and run his fingers across the smooth wood, following his friend in to the first room the man wanted to show him. There wasn’t even anyone else around but if someone stepped in to the hallway to see him fondling the ground he had no idea what kind of reputation he might be ruining.

The room they went in to had a lot of charts and maps pinned up on the walls as well as several large tables filling the center. Even with no one inside at the moment it still managed to look like a busy room. Madara glanced around to take everything in and gravitated to the most natural point that called for him, the small podium set up at one end. He actually felt rather important standing there even with the casual stance he took leaning his weight on both arms and clasped his hands together loosely.

“So–” he started to say only for Hashirama to interrupt him.

“Oh you do remember!”

“Eh?”

“You…don’t remember?”

His eyes flicked around the room, unsure what he was looking for. “No? What am I supposed to be remembering?”

“Aw I thought that maybe- oh well. You always stand there when you’re in this room. This is the main briefing room we use to send teams out on particularly dangerous or sensitive missions rather than in the public Mission Room down the hall. Actually you and Tobi both spend a lot of time in here, you’re kind of…really competitive for handing out missions.”

“Competitive?” Madara smirking, picturing it. “A little competition can be healthy. So we’re both very involved in that sort of thing?”

“Um, I would say it’s more because you guys have such different views on how a lot of things should be done, so…” The way Hashirama drifted off felt a little suspicious. It felt like one of those moments when Madara knew he should have been able to read deeper in to the words, which was kind of annoying.

With a roll of his eyes he changed the subject. “What else do I do here? Sounds like I’m a paper pusher; that doesn’t seem like something I would ever enjoy.”

As easily as that Hashirama was all too happy to change subjects, darting around the room to show him a few things and then leading him away up the stairs to show him the offices where he apparently spent most of his time. The paperwork he feared seemed to be a large part of his life but all the things Hashirama described in between, the police force and the dangerous missions and acting as a prominent member on the council of advisors, those sounded just exciting enough to make up for it. His life wasn’t completely boring it seemed. At least not enough to make him dread going back to it.

He at least had some nice digs to work in. Madara paused just inside the door of his office and looked around, arms crossed over his chest and chin nodding with approval. It was nice in here. The window was quite large and with the curtains opened wide it brought golden sunlight spilling in to the room, pooling over the neatly organized filing cabinets, illuminating the over-burdened yet orderly desk. And that was definitely the desk of someone important. Just the right size to garner respect while also remaining humble, a beautiful rich dark color with a simple yet tasteful trim and the crest of the Uchiha clan carved in to the side facing whoever should enter the room. It seemed he was a prideful man; no surprise there.

“Now that’s a desk I could sit behind,” he murmured under his breath. Then since there was nothing stopping him he did so, marching over and plopping his weight down in the sturdy matching chair, almost startling to discover a cushion there to make the seat more comfortable. Pride wasn’t worth the hemorrhoids apparently.

“You look just like yourself,” Hashirama complimented him. “Well, not that you don’t always look like yourself. You always look the same. I just mean you look…I really hope you know what I mean because I can’t figure out how to say it.”

“I think I know.” He very much didn’t but if agreeing would get the man to shut up then he’d rather not listen to the blathering.

Smiling at him in thanks, Hashirama nodded to the desk with a low chuckle. “Now if only we could find what we need in there. When you left you sealed up your desk like always but we didn’t expect you to be away from duty for so long and we can’t find half the stuff you were working on!”

Madara acted without thinking. As though the movement were entirely natural he reached down and pulled open the bottom drawer on his right side, feeling the seals release at the touch of his specific chakra signature but thinking nothing of it, and felt around until he had a grip on all three of the scrolls he found inside. When he pulled them up he could see they were all storage scrolls probably containing several documents each and by the look on Hashirama's face he already knew the answer to the question as he asked it.

“Were you looking for these?”

“You knew exactly where they were!” Hashirama clapped both hands together with joy but Madara was quick to shoot him down for what must be the eighth time in only a couple hours together.

“That seemed like the most logical place for me to put them,” he said, almost gleeful to see the other man deflate.

As he always did, Hashirama took a few moments to curl in to himself until one could almost see the black clouds of sadness gathering over his head. Madara used that time to allow himself a tiny secret smile for what his friend didn’t know. It might have only come to him after his arm was already in motion but he did recall where he put those documents, remembered the act of slipping them in to that drawer and sealing them away. Just like the moment with Izuna it was a flash, a vision there and gone, but this time he was certain of what it had been and this time he remembered it.

He remembered.

One would think the first thing he might do now that he was sure of what was happening would be to tell someone. To celebrate with Hashirama or at least run home to inform Tobirama. He did neither of those things. After what happened with Izuna he’d been thinking a lot lately about how it would feel to start getting his memories back and how he would react but more importantly he’d been thinking about all the strange little reactions people kept having to his relationship with Tobirama. How would it feel to finally realize whatever they were waiting for him to realize? Call him a secret softy but he really wanted to be able to say that they two of them had fallen in love with each other twice.

So far Tobirama had shown no signs of remembering at all, which was great for the plan Madara had cobbled together in his head just that morning. If he was the first to get a few things back then hopefully one of those things could be the story of how the two of them got together. He wanted to remember their first date and recreate it, take Tobirama out on the same adventure to see what would happen, to know how different things would go with a little foreknowledge of where they would end up. An experiment of his own. His partner would certainly approve of it from that angle.

While Hashirama dashed off to quickly give the files he’d found to the people who had been waiting for them Madara leaned back and kicked both feet up on to what little space was available on his desk. The position felt suspiciously comfortable until he noticed there was just enough clear space at just the right angle to allow him to do so, a clue compounded by the misty eyes Hashirama hit him with after walking through the door again, so to throw the man off Madara asked a few questions about his work. They stayed in his office for as long as they could until someone wandered in looking for the Hokage to sign something and then Hashirama asked with an apologetic look if he wouldn’t mind spending a little time on the top floor.

Upstairs was even cushier than his own office, though he could understand the necessity of that. The biggest cheese should always have the flashiest stuff so no one ever forget that he was in charge. Madara gravitated towards the same couch he’d sat on the last time he was in here and draped himself across the length of it without giving too much thought towards decorum. If Hashirama could do away with formality then so could he. While he waited he let his eyes roam over the contents of the room with a mildly curious face that hopefully disguised the focused intent underneath. His own office had sparked a memory. If he apparently spent so much time up here with his ‘best friend in the whole wide world’ – Hashirama's words, clearly – then maybe there was something here that could spark another no matter that he’d told the man that wasn’t how it worked.

Nothing about the desk looked very interesting, too similar to the pile of untouched drudgery that had been on his own even if Hashirama's set up was that much fancier. Not to mention it was growing right out of the floor for some reason. Other than looking like a comfortable escape route the window didn’t call to him very much. Neither did the potted plants dotting every single available inch of free space all around the room. What did call to him was the massive bookshelf on the far side of the room from the desk as though when Hashirama decorated he intentionally put as much space between him and all that reading material as possible.

Either that or Tobirama was doing what he could to protect the precious literature from a watery death at the hands of such a frequent crier.

Tilting his head to one side, Madara stretched himself out a little more and considered the bookcase. Why would that particular area of the office call to him? A part of him really wanted there to be some kind of secret room behind it that only he and a select few people might know about. Just because it was unlikely didn’t mean it was necessarily untrue. He could dream!

A quick check told him Hashirama was still engaged with whatever paperwork he’d dragged them both here to sort out so, using much more stealth than necessary, Madara crept off the couch and moved gradually across the wooden floors. Nothing really stood out as a possible trigger for any secret rooms but he did still keep the option in the back of his head as he drew close enough to run his fingers over the scrolls and spines. Something here felt familiar. He just had to figure out what. It wasn’t the wooden figurines with their living floral crowns or the tightly packed scrolls on the bottom shelves or even the dyed leather covers so cool and smooth against his fingers. But maybe…

Madara couldn’t say what made him look but the moment his eyes flicked up he knew. He couldn’t see it from here but he knew there would be something hiding just out of sight on top of the bookcase. Peeking back to make sure he was still unobserved, he lifted up on to his toes and stretched to curl his fingers over the edge, scrunching his nose as the first thing he encountered was a giant dust bunny. A few quick pats around and then he was biting his lip to stifle a cry of triumph.

The book he pulled down was slim and well read, not much taller than his palm was long. On the cover a young man stood tall with his shoulders thrown back and his eyes gazing in to the middle distance. It wasn’t the sort of thing one might expect to find in a work environment but all it took was one glance for Madara to grin, familiar now with the sensation of an old memory flickering up in to the forefront of his mind.

Familiar chakra getting closer, panic in his veins, nowhere to go. Tobirama couldn’t see him with this. He would never live it down! Where to hide it? There was nowhere here that Tobirama wouldn’t stick his nose in to, the man knew this office better than its own occupant. Where to hide!?

Madara turned the book over to look at the back, reading through the summary and a little embarrassed to admit that it still sounded like a thrilling read no matter how cheesy the plotline promised to be. This was definitely the sort of book he would be embarrassed to get caught reading by someone he wasn’t close to but he couldn’t imagine hiding himself like that from his own partner. The memory must have been one from before they started dating. Or possibly right at the beginning of their relationship when he would have been trying to give the best impression of himself and hide away all the parts he saw as embarrassing or undesirable. How cute.

That was the nice part about having no knowledge of the world around him other than their relationship, he supposed. If he knew nothing else Madara at least knew that he and Tobirama cared about each other so there was no need to worry himself over whether the other man would accept any part of him. Clearly he already had.

“What have you got there?” Hashirama's voice from right over his shoulder gave him such a fright that his first reaction was to toss the book away as hard as he could. Unfortunately his instincts failed him rather spectacularly and he tossed it behind himself, wincing at the fleshy thud and resulting cry of pain as it smacked the other man right in the face.

“Nothing! Don’t look at it!”

“Hey, my book!”

“Wait…your book?”

Hashirama was rubbing his nose with one hand and holding the book with the other when Madara turned around, smiling at the front cover bemusedly. “I lent this to you ages ago and never got it back. Well, you said you gave it back but I never remembered putting it anywhere. I must have left it here at the office!”

A rather neat explanation to sidestep admitting he’d recovered yet another piece of memory, Madara latched on to the opportunity presenting itself without hesitation.

“Sure, must be yours if it’s in here. I found it on the bookshelf.” Not even a lie. Tobirama would be so proud of how sneaky he was being. Except Tobirama would not be told about this because then he would have to explain why he was jumpy enough to be throwing books at Hashirama's face. Shame was fine to share between them but he was trying to set up a surprise when their first date came back to him so any talk of remembering things was off the table.

Thankfully Hashirama wasn’t the type to question things beyond the easiest explanation. “Well I’m glad I found this, let me just tuck it back in here now that I know where it is. Now! What else should we show you around here?”

Madara wanted to see the prisons, mostly interested in whether or not they had any really impressive prisoners and to hear if he could take credit for some of them, but apparently they were all held inside the ANBU headquarters until being transferred to a prison somewhat outside the actual village. That made sense. Most people wouldn’t want to rub elbows with the scum of society. It was still disappointing. That would have made quite a fun little fieldtrip to wander from cell to cell like a visit to the zoo and hear all the terrible stories. He was willing to bet a society of shinobi would imprison only the most interesting of characters. Without having access to his memories, however, Hashirama was worried that his reaction times might be dulled and in the event one of the prisoners managed to slip their cage or even just reach through the bars neither of them wanted to take the chance that he could be injured.

Since that idea was out of the question he settled for poking his nose in to the rest of the tower floor by floor until he had a good idea of almost everything that went on here. It was kind of Hashirama to take so much time to do this with him, actually. Eventually he would get all of his memories back and it wasn’t like there would be anything missing once the jutsu in his head faded completely so really all this learning was entirely unnecessary but Hashirama didn’t seem to mind at all. In fact he seemed to delight in showing off all the things they had built together and Madara couldn’t help but get a little swept away in the pride shining from him. There was no doubt in his mind he would feel the same pride when it all came back.

It was fairly close to dinner hour by the time he got home so Madara wasn’t surprised in the least to find Tobirama already in the kitchen with his sleeves rolled up and dinner halfway done on the stove. He took a moment to admire the sight of those delicious forearms as he strolled in and planted himself in the closest available chair.

“Are we sure that Hashirama is your brother and not mine?” he asked, about to throw his feet up on the table but stopping at a sharp look from his partner. “He sure seems to like me.”

“You may keep him if you wish. He’s quite loud. Though I feel obligated to point out that he does seem to enjoy my company as well.”

“Likes me better,” Madara teased.

Tobirama twisted around to wave a spatula at him in warning and he raised both hands in surrender.

“Did you get up to anything interesting while I was gone?” he asked instead.

“I spent a bit of time with my cousin and she showed me to my laboratory. Because apparently I have one of those. No matter how many times I told her that the jutsu can only fade with time I think she was still hoping that something in there might strike a spark and bring everything flooding back in.” Tobirama rolled his eyes but he was smiling; he must have bonded with this cousin, whoever they were, more than he was letting on.

Keeping it a secret that things were starting to come back to him felt almost naughty, a little thrill that he concealed with a quick clearing of his throat and a shift of his weight. Leaning forward to rest his elbows on the table gave him a place to fold his hands and hide his smile behind them as he watched Tobirama go back to stirring whatever he had cooking on the stove. Every line in his body spelled deadly elegance yet with his sleeves rolled up and a spot of flour on one leg of his pants he looked positively domestic. It was a side of him that he wouldn’t show to anyone he wasn’t close to and Madara couldn’t wait to discover how he’d gotten so lucky to be one of those people.

Dinner was quiet for the most part, seated on opposite sides of the table with their feet piled together underneath for warmth and maybe also as their own way of keeping close without being disgustingly overt like Hashirama was with his wife. The two of them were compatible in so many ways but this was one of the ones Madara was most grateful for. While both of them enjoyed the pleasure of each other’s presence and the grounding comfort of physical touch, neither really wanted to be completely wrapped around the other all the time. Folding their feet together during dinner or sitting close enough for their thighs to touch while they both did their own thing was plenty without being overwhelming. There was no need to sit right in each other’s laps.

Well, not all the time anyway. It was nice every once in a while.

After dinner they retired to the living room with mugs of tea and Tobirama sketched out a few seal-like designs he said had been stuck in his mind all day while Madara recounted most of what he’d gotten up to with Hashirama in the village center. From the sounds of it they were both very busy people usually, way too many things on either of their plates. When he mentioned that Tobirama gave him a wry look and muttered that maybe they should keep it a secret when everything came back to them and extend their pseudo-vacation. Madara very carefully changed the subject.

He went to bed that night in high spirits. Overall the day had been fun and relaxing, an adventure without leaving the safety of home territory, and such a calm evening had been the perfect end to it all. Crawling underneath the covers and curling up with Tobirama’s hand in his own was the cherry on top. Madara fell asleep with a smile on his face ready to dream.

And dream he did. He dreamed of Tobirama in what looked like the office he’d been told was his own, arms crossed and expression pinched. Unlike the hazy quality of most dreams this felt crystal clear in the same way that his returning memories had except this was no quick flash but a detailed scene, an event, a moment relived in real time. Madara watched through his own eyes as Tobirama tossed his head in a motion filled with more attitude than any teenager could possibly hope to achieve, scoffing in the way that meant someone had just said something stupid.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about. Perhaps if you just sat quietly during the next meeting and allowed your betters to speak we all might hear something that’s actually worth being said.”  

“Excuse me?” Madara heard his own voice demanding. “You cannot possibly be implying that you are my better.”

“If the shoe fits.”

“One more word and I will hit you with a shoe, Senju! How dare you! I am twice the man you are! At least I say what I mean when I have something to say instead of attacking people in their private spaces!”

Tobirama rolled his eyes. “Would you have preferred if I had torn your arguments apart in public? Because I can do that next time. I am, of course, always very happy to make a fool of you in front of others – not that you don’t already do a good job of that yourself.”

“Fuck you!” Madara could hear the rage in his own voice, feel it coursing through his body. “This world would be so much better off if you would just go find a hole to die in somewhere!”

He came awake with a strangled gasp as though for all the oxygen around him drawing one breath were an insurmountable chore. Something leaden and heavy sat on his chest as the memory he’d just lived through in his dream played on repeat again and again in his mind. As much as he wanted to pretend it was nothing more than a figment of his own imagination there was no denying what he’d just seen, how real it had felt.

Madara pushed himself up in to a sitting position, dragging the blankets along as well until the body next to him was exposed to the air as well, and turned to look back down at the man he was so sure he had always been in love with. It must have taken some time for the dream to come to him judging by the depth of the shadows around them but Tobirama’s pale skin shone like a beacon even with just the tiniest sliver of light coming through the curtains. No shadow could ever dull the sharp edge of that jaw. Despite having only just pulled air in to his lungs Madara lost it all again the moment he took in Tobirama’s peacefully sleeping face.

This was the rock he had clung to as a bastion of safety and sanity when all the rest of the world was unknown. Here was a man he had looked at and thought with perfect clarity ‘yes, I am in love with him’, a man he had spent weeks with and been perfectly happy every minute of every day. Anyone who spent even an hour with them together would have to agree that they were a wonderful match.

And yet. And yet. With one memory came another and then another and even more, a flood of all the years gone by rushing in. Madara bent his knees to rest his head against then and clutched at his temples in an effort to make sense of the jumble inside of him. Everything he’d learned and everything that he had known mixed together in a confusing mess that almost physically hurt to sort through but he forced himself to keep calm, bringing himself back to the moment that everything changed and scouring his double memories for the exact differences between them. Once he was able to breathe enough to concentrate it wasn’t all that hard to understand what had happened or to process what changed exactly.

It did break his heart. This man at his side loved him now in these moments. He had no doubt that Tobirama had experienced that same click he had when they looked at each other as double blank slates and decided that they fit together. But before that moment, every moment before that one all the way back to the very first time they met so many years before, they had hated each other to the very bone. Tobirama was not the love of his life as Madara had thought. He was the one person in this village that Madara still saw as an enemy.

The moment of clarity he’d been waiting for was here but it was nothing like he’d imagined it would be Instead of feeling reassured and happy he felt only tense and more confused than ever. Everything he’d felt for Tobirama before and all the history between them clashed directly with all the new memories and impressions he’d made since in a direct contrast he had no idea how he was going to sort out. Did he love Tobirama or did he hate him? Were they mortal enemies or were they perfect for each other? Most importantly of all, now that he gotten to know Tobirama could he go back to pretending he wanted nothing more than the enmity they had so carefully cultivated over the years? The memories he’d been waiting to get back said yes but the weeks he had spent so happily at Tobirama’s side screamed a broken-hearted no.

Madara squeezed his head a little tighter, unable to decide what to do. One part of him sneered with disgust and demanded that he leap out of this bed lest Tobirama’s skin brush his own in any way. That part of him wanted so badly to deny that he had ever set foot in his enemy’s bedroom or touched that body in any way even close to resembling intimacy. But the other part of him wanted nothing more than to lay back down and pretend that everything was fine, to live in this fantasy for just a little longer while he still had the chance.

After all, Tobirama had no way of knowing that he remembered.

It was a dangerous idea. Obviously his partner’s confusion was going to be the same when things came back to him and there was no telling when that would be – just like there was no telling which path he would choose when it did happen. This could all blow up in his face quite spectacularly. But when had Madara ever stopped to worry about the possible consequences to his own actions?

Laying back down felt more right than wrong and Madara used careful movements to squirm up against Tobirama as close as possible, covering them with the blankets again like he’d never disturbed them in the first place. He still had time. There was no need to make his decision on what to do right now and there was really no point in rocking the boat before he knew for sure which part of himself he was going to listen to. Maybe after a good sleep he would have a clearer idea of what path he wanted to take. There was nothing like the first glance of someone’s face in the early morning light to illuminate how you truly felt about them.

Madara closed his eyes and squeezed them tight, tempted to pray but unsure what he would pray for. He had already been planning to keep his recovering memory a secret. It shouldn’t be such a big deal to keep this secret instead until he could sort the mess inside his head and figure out what his heart truly wanted.

[ayankun]

Ok, if you haven’t already (I say this to be polite, I know you haven’t) go put your eyes on this episode synopsis first.  Why?  Because it’s a good time.  But mostly because I want you to be tangentially familiar with certain topics so I can better explain what happened to my brain while watching this one.

oh, right, this post is a synopsis of the VR Troopers episode 2x13 “Kaitlin Through the Looking Glass” btw

4

3

2

1

WE

ARE

V

R

Now that you’ve got this far, here’s some housekeeping before we start:

I watched this show sporadically as a kid and have very fond memories of it “being better than Power Rangers” but really didn’t know anything about it at the time.  I am watching it as an adult partly due to nostalgia but mostly because I genuinely enjoy it.  Not necessarily because of the reasons they intended, but, you know.

As an adult, with a different understanding of the world than when I was seven, I willfully misconstrue the main characters as being in a polyamorous relationship.  OT3 baybee

On a similar tangent, Ryan “Trooper TRANSform” Steele is obviously trans.  (transgent??)

Hell, maybe they all are.  The more the merrier amirite.

They all call the Professor “Puhfessor,” so I will, too.

Still with me?  Let’s begin.

(first up, though, the title sequence is over a minute long, when really they only needed like, maybe 15 seconds to get the point across.  there is also a ton of footage used that portrays events that never occur and also the song is not catchy enough to warrant any of this and I love it)

So in Ryan’s flashback intro, he muses about how, as a kid, he felt the need to prove himself.  He expresses this to his dad by asking when he’ll get a black belt, and his dad is a good supportive dad who tells him:

“It’s not the belt that’s important, son,”

Ryan’s dad says trans rights.

Ryan’s VO goes on to say "My dad taught me that it’s not outward appearances that really count, and that was an important lesson that would come in handy time and time again.”

Ryan really loves memories of his dad.

Which I think is a sweet lesson to learn when you’re young and other youngs (and olds) are going to give you crap about how you look, but it’s also hilariously phrased considering how superficial the concept of “outward appearances” is to this episode.

So we jump into things down at the ... Voice Underground Daily idk what the newspaper is called, I’m just trying to read the sign on the wall tbh.  We’re at Kaitlin’s place of business, and Woody (I think his name is Woody LOLOL how many episodes have I seen) shows Kaitlin this front page article which appears to have the headline:

ZIKTOR DEFEATED AT CITY HALL -- NO TOXIC WASTE DUMPING AT CROSS WORLD PARK

Ok, a couple of things.

Kaitlin and Percy are just ... chilling out at the copy machine like they’re friends and this is where the cool kids hang out.

Which can’t possibly be true because the actual cool kids are there in the back, just reading newspapers like Actual Cool Kids do.

They’re an indie paper, right?  How can they afford to print headlines that verbose?  ... Or full color glossy, for that matter

THEY ACCIDENTALLY PLAYED THIS LIKE THEY WERE EXCITED ABOUT THE NEWS ITSELF AND NOT ABOUT KAITLIN DOING A GOOD JOB ON AN IMPORTANT FRONT PAGE PIECE

Environmentalism was No Joke in kids’ media in the 90s.  I specifically remember learning the word “toxic” from a Power Rangers episode where Billy tested the lake water.  I literally had to look it up.

and they say you can’t learn nuffink from tv

Anyway, part of the excitement is that this article is the follow up to an expose of Ziktor, also authored by Kaitlin, which inspired the city officials to veto his waste-dumping proposal.  So we’re proud of Kaitlin for doing a good job at journalism and for protecting the world!

JB does what JB does best and attempts to arrange a date.

The line is, “Hey, let’s celebrate!  With lunch!  At Hamburger Hutch” but I guess someone at Netflix got lazy for a second.

I forgot to mention, in my HC he’s our token ace (as my favorites often are), so he tends to go overboard with the romance.  You don’t have to compensate for anything, JB!

Kaitlin appreciates the gesture.

But then Woody interjects and I let my adult sense of humor get the better of me...

come on, the man’s name is Woody I can’t be the only one with my mind in the gutter can I

Also the line is “I don’t want you boys filling up my star reporter” so what am I supposed to thINK

--WITH JUNK FOOD.  Dodged an FCC bullet there.

So I just now gave it 2 seconds thought and the discrepancies with the subtitles probably have something to do with the expectation that children would be watching this show and can’t read that fast.  BOY DO I NOT FIT THE DEMOGRAPHIC

Ok well.

Where Woody’s going with this is that he wants to impose a health shake on Kaitlin for godknowswhy.  But it’s all good because as he todders off to get started on what will surely be a monstrosity, we get this ADORABLE moment where Kaitlin tries to get JB to come to her rescue.

She just runs up and grabs him.  I’m all a-flutter.

But JB is of no help.  Instead, he calls dibs on her fries.

There’s a weird, under-baked joke going on here that seems to be rooted in the idea that if one is dieting then others benefit from this self-sacrifice by gleefully picking up the slack?  Anyway Kaitlin’s not on a diet?  This vitamin shake angle literally came out of nowhere?  Is against her will???

Just one burger, please.  Protein style :<

et tu, Jeb??

Anyway, this weird exchange just passes the time to get Woody all set up.  He turns on the blender and THE WHOLE WORLD STARTS SHAKING. 

Percy runs over to be the hero, demanding Woody turn the blender off, while everyone else just rumbles around looking distraught and not practicing anything resembling safe earthquake response.  Percy manages to get a hold of the blender, lifting it off the counter, and -- you guessed it -- the lid comes off and purreed-carrot-baby-food-looking goop gets all over his nerdy white button up.

The shaking stops.  Percy’s very proud of himself (and disdainful of the others who didn’t come to his heroic conclusion).  End scene.

I’ll be real.  At this juncture, literally thought that the blender HAD caused a natural disaster, and it was just a wacky 90s gag that went on for far too long.

More on this story as it develops.  We’re moving on.

How many cities in the world do you think have ominous buildings in them that aren’t secret headquarters for supervillains?

Our good buddy Karl Ziktor is reading -- wait for it -- Kaitlin’s article.  It has a headline so long they had to dedicate the full front page for it.  I’m pretty sure that’s not how newspapers are commonly formatted.

That is literally just a couple of newspaper clippings taped to a big piece of paper.

Oh he’s mad.  He tells Juliet all about his evil plan for revenge, which is to “steal her virtual image and create a second Kaitlin Starr [that serves him]”.

Same, Juliet.

Off that yikes, a henchwoman comes in to appraise Ziktor of the status of phase one, which is underway.  A so-called Stingbot is “in the basement of the Underground Voice” so that’s what the paper’s name is, anyway.

Anyway so Stingbot was the one responsible for the earlier tremors.  And, yeah, I mean I know they were new cobbling stories together from old footage, but What The Hell do “sting” and “earthquake” and “outward appearances” have in common?

And that is how a Stingbot do.

My question is partially answered, in that Stingbot’s earthquakes are a distraction so that some skugs can plant the “Virtual Mirror Transmitter” on Kaitlin, which is the nefarious device that will create the aforementioned Kaitlin-2.  Bold of him to assume that just because Kaitlin’s a woman that she 1) carries a purse 2) stores a mini pink mirror in the purse 3) will look at herself in the mirror unprovoked.

It’s such a wildly twentieth-century concept.  Here in good ol’ 2020, I, for one, have not looked in a mirror in months.

Ugh more gross than this use of outdated stereotypes is this weird tongue thing Ziktor does while almost literally salivating after his upcoming revenge.  You’ll have to go see it for yourself, I’m not going to watch it again to cap it.

(This guy gives his 200% to this role, though.  What a legend. RIP Gardner Baldwin)

So Ziktor blue-skadoos into his virtual stronghold and gets an update from his generals.  There’s this new guy that I’ve already also forgotten the name, and since he has a human face, there’s a lot of awkward cuts between him and his Japanese counterpart in the footage that’s already ten years old at the time.  It probably looked great.  I was an adult before I found out that Rita Repulsa was the original Japanese actress in the original dubbed Japanese footage.

Anyway, he looks great.

I think I read that for season 2 they had access to and/or recreated the costumes used in/matching the source material, so there’s a noticeable uptick in cool-looking sets with American actors wearing cool-looking costumes, like this one.

You said it.

That’s about it for this scene, but before we go to commercials, Grimlord says this nonsense:  “I will destroy Kaitlin Starr with the one weapon she cannot defend against -- herself.”

Confirmed: Kaitlin is a deadlier weapon than, say, a homing missile.  (she can defend herself from those)

Ok we’re back at the Underground Voice and there’s still an earthquake going on.  Also, and let me tell you this with a large amount of regret of my life-choices, I’ve been sitting here for just about two hours and we are only five minutes into the episode (and that includes the minute long opening credits.)

Let’s roll!

JB gets off the phone with who knows who, having learned that there’s no earthquake registering anywhere, it’s a localized mysterious incident.  Ryan recommends they clear the building “just to be safe.”  My boy, why wasn’t that everyone’s first thought?  Are they really just standing around waiting to be told?  We had drills for this for a reason!

(Actually, I’m not sure where Cross World City is located.  Maybe they’re not on a fault line and do not actually do drills)

In any case, there’s a brief PSA where Woody wants to collect his valuables to take with him, and everyone has to inform him that that’s ill-advised behavior in an evacuation scenario.

He responds in classic Woody nonsense, by putting on a captain’s hat and insisting he’ll go down with his ship.  AND OUR BOY JB SAYS

He’s still thinking about that date.

LOOK.  There’s no rule that says asexuals can’t make dirty jokes.  Because we can and do.  Let me have this.

So our heroes herd everyone out of the building and then stay behind to call the Puhfessor.  Just as they get him on the computer, the earthquake stops. 

It’s not all good news, though.  The Puhfessor taps into some kind of impossible CC feed and they watch Stingbot undermining the structural integrity of the building.  Stingbot, by the way, has one of those creepy child laughs that is insane.  It’s so good.

Ryan decides to check out the basement himself while Kaitlin and JB keep everyone else outside.  He finds some creepy janitors down there, and they head on up like creeps normal janitors.

Maybe they were just hotboxing down there.

Stingbot’s also in the basement!  Who knows what he was doing down there, because

Murder hornet, colorized, 2020

Which is a weird thing to say until you remember the slight, throwaway “yummy!” he says earlier while drilling into the building.  I had forgotten it in the 40 seconds it took for me to get from that moment to here.

Ryan insults Stingbot’s outward appearance, which is odd because I thought he learned that lesson as a kid.  Either way, it’s time to

WE ARE V R

Only to spend about half a second on recycled footage just to have Stingbot go “lol, later loser.”  Because those perfectly normal janitors are upstairs swapping Kaitlin’s purse mirror with the evil thing.

Can you imagine trying to pull a stunt like this today?

Outside, things have calmed down enough that JB thinks Ryan’s got it under control.  He’s gonna go back in “to see if the building’s safe enough to reenter.”  I know he knows it’s not a real earthquake, but also I don’t think I’d trust a non-professional to assess my office’s structural integrity.

Kaitlin’s going to join him, which causes Percy to pipe up, Pavlovianly ... just to chicken out and stay put.  GOOD JOB PERCY.  USING YOUR HEAD FOR ONCE I SEE.

(kids, don’t volunteer to check that a building is safe after an incident where its safety may be in question.  it is not cowardly to leave it to Someone Who Knows What They’re Doing)

So JB and Kaitlin come back in to find the Normal Janitors shadily stealing a floppy disk from Kaitlin’s desk.  (kids, a floppy disk is a real object that looks a lot like the “save” icon)   BUT OF COURSE THEY’RE SKUGS SO JB AND KAITLIN HAVE TO THROW DOWN.

Let’s just say there’s a good thing they have an earthquake to blame all this property damage on.

JB’s a little snippy.

All he wanted was to go to lunch with his girlfriend and boyfriend.

The gold skugs do their fusion dance thing and turn into the oni-mask skug variant, which I’m assuming is a constraint of these later episodes where they used footage from a show that did not have the gold ones in.

FLIRTY BATTLEFIELD BANTER UGH I SHIP IT

Once that’s handled, we find out what Ryan’s been up to in the basement by himself this whole time.

Um.  I’m not touching that one with a 10-foot ... wait.

Ohhhh

Ryan heads back up and swaps notes with JB and Kaitlin.  Stingbot said that its work was done, so what exactly was it trying to accomplish?  Ryan then runs from there outside to check on everyone else.

Kaitlin then decides she needs to freshen up, which is something I don’t recall her ever needing or wanting to do after any other natural disaster/fight portrayed on this show.

But look how cute they are with their mutual post-fight shoulder-pat.  JB even gives her this cute little look as she darts off.  He is smitten.

He is smote.

Kaitlin gets her mirror out of her purse, as planned, and checks herself out.  You know.  Like how woman do.

She gets it.

This is it!  Grimlord’s chance to strike!  He will have his revenge, Juliet, just you wait!

for great justice

We are treated to a brief bit of delightful 80s Japanese sci-fi, all flashing lights and chonky beep boop buttons.  It works!  A tastefully gendered laser light shoots out of Kaitlin’s mirror and STEALS HER FACE OFF HER FACE

FACE/OFF

The experience seems highly unpleasant, but she’s mostly ok...

But wait, who’s this ...

It’s not really the Mirror Universe unless someone gets a goatee.

Kaitlin’s freaked out, but we don’t have time to see her process what it was that just happened.  More beep boop 80s lights (seizure warning much), and the virtual replica Kaitlin is 3D printed in Grimlord’s lair.

lol he’s got a play date

So this Kaitlin is the same exact person as real Kaitlin, with one major difference.

So this got dark, right?  This is different from that time they cloned Ryan, because that was just a DNA clone man baby with evil sunglasses; this is actually Kaitlin, the person, just with some programming differences, who’s gonna go back out there and hurt her boys herself.

Needless to say, Grimlord is delighted.

Check out that disgruntled wall snake, tho.  “I thought I was your lovely child”

Now Grimlord’s plan is to send Kaitlin into the wild with a device called the “fissicator” which is a “sTUn ray!!” (you have to hear him say it, it’s so good) as well as a thing that will reprogram the Trooper’s “contact disk.”

I didn’t mention it earlier, but that’s the disk that the janitors skugs were trying to steal, and it was also how Kaitlin called up the Puhfessor on her work computer.  I’m pretty sure we’ve never seen it before and we never see it again.  It’s Not A Thing.

So Kaitlin goes to Tao’s, where Ryan’s just chilling there by himself.  I guess everyone was okay after the earthquake, then.  (It is unclear how much time has passed)  Maybe it’s been hundreds of years, because Ryan acts like he’s not sure who she is.

Wait, hold on.  I did NOT pay close enough attention the first time, but -- either it’s much later the same day and/or they missed a scene.  They’re still wearing the same clothes ... and Ryan says he thought she was heading (back?) to the paper ... and then she says ....

Ryan.exe has stopped executing

Wait so WHAT.  What workout.  We have not been to Tao’s yet this episode.  ???

It’s really just a ruse to get Ryan to fight her, though.  But also.  Why need ruse?  Evil clone?  Just attack tho, right?

But also no NO.  DONT attack.  We’ve already seen JB be beat up by his evil clone boyfriend.  It’s rough.  (spoiler alert, this one’s gonna be rough, too)

So Ryan tries to let her down easy by saying he doesn’t have time -- and I can’t tell with this video quality, but I don’t think he’s wearing a watch but he does the “look at wrist” technique and it’s p good.

Kaitlin-2 refuses to be let down easy.

Them’s fightin words

Ryan ends up splayed out on the desk but seriously, now is not the time.

He rightfully wants to know what’s up, but she keeps taunting him to fight her.  She takes the first shot, which he dodges and blocks before disengaging.  Remember, kids, just because somebody picks a fight with you doesn’t mean you don’t have any other options!

She won’t stop coming for him, though, so he gets her arms pinned so he can try talking her down again. 

This technique backfires.

no more mr nice kaitlin

So in the other clone episode, this scene was staged in a room full of people, and even though JB was blindsided, he and Ryan are ostensibly evenly matched.  It wasn’t nice for JB, but at least someone was there to break up the fight.

This time though, Ryan’s been gently if firmly trying to diffuse a confusing situation where someone without his training is behaving irrationally and is going to get both of them hurt.  So far his attempts to de-escalate have failed, and there is no deus ex intervention incoming.

AND THEN she goes and plays the superpowers card on him.  Black belt or no, the whole point of having the Trooper alter ego is that they come with amazingly OP combat powers capable of defeating all manner of monsters.

And Kaitlin, a very very very dear close friend has just walked up out of nowhere and dropped a nuke on him.

Okay, so she throws him over a table, it’s the principle of the thing.

This overkill maneuver knocks him out cold.  She lifts Ryan’s Trooper communicator (so he can’t call for help when he comes to -- omg this is so chilling) and then uses the fissicator to call Grimlord for further instructions.

Gotta catch ‘em all

New Kaitlin, who dis?

So he now wants her to steal the disk, reprogram the disk, and use the reprogrammed disk to break all the Trooper computer stuff.  She reads his order back like

Close enough, I guess.

She gleefully moves on to her next task, leaving a helpless Ryan struggling and failing to regain consciousness.  :<<<<<<<

At the paper, real Kaitlin gets a message from JB on her little Trooper video phone and secretly Trooper TRANSforms out of there from inside the darkroom.  This was the point where I realized they had different ones!  Hers and JB’s are red and white, while Ryan’s (that just got stole) is red/blue.

Also, you can just see under all those crayons, but that’s the “contact disk” that Kaitlin-2 is coming for.  (how many crayons does a professional journalist need, anyhow?)

So there’s a joke in there were Percy sees Kaitlin go into the darkroom and then Kaitlin-2 walks in, and then also when he checks the darkroom, it’s empty.

Oh, so that means Kaitlin-2 successfully steals the contact disk, btw.

Back at Tao’s, Ryan has woken up and some how his backpack has, like, crawled down to see if he’s okay?  Which is helpful because that’s how he is able to quickly identify that on top of assault, there’s been a robbery.

I hope she doesn’t delete my save files

And this was the moment (right now, doing the caps) that I realized the little phones are called VRVTs!

But seriously, imagine being knocked out cold by a loved one, with no reason, no hint at an explanation, and not only has she left you for dead, she’s taken your phone so you can’t call for help.  He has no idea that she’s an evil clone!!!!  This is a real tragedy of a thing.  A gutting betrayal.

It looks like Ryan has his own contact disk, tho?  And he uses this on Tao’s PC to call up the Puhfessor.

spelled it rong

Just as a note, this subtitle comes up WAY too soon, so for a couple of frames it just looks like some kind of meme.  A++

 Ryan starts to relate his traumatic experience to the Puhfessor, but luckily he’s cut off with the good news that his “sensors” somehow correctly identify Ryan’s assailant as Kaitlin’s virtual double.

geez, you guys, look at how Ryan deflates hearing this.  I mean, it’s not great that he was probably concussed, but it’s a relief that his world still makes some kind of sense.

poor bb

Also, you can’t tell as much here, but there’s a really subtle punch in as the moment progresses, bringing us closer and making the moment more intimate as he grapples with this new information.  There’s a lot of dumb half-assed stuff in this show, but I gotta call attention to the stuff that is excellent for any era.

Also it’s so efficient from a time-management perspective.  Just look at the opening shot, which was a medium type establishing shot so you can picture Ryan in the space, but the PC’s right there for both the viewer and Ryan to reach.  Then we slowly zoom in, which serves double duty in that it provides the appropriate emotional impact, and at the end we’re on a nice close up of Ryan as he jumps into action.  Three shots with just one set up (and probably done in one take, with room to splice the PC shots in)!  I’m very pleased with this.

Down to brass tacks

The Puhfessor ominously tells him that they have their own troubles and we go straight from there into some source footage of them fighting some skugs and what I think is General Ivar.

After about three seconds of that, we cut back to the lab, where Ryan busts in on Kaitlin-2 just as she’s hacking up a storm.

im in ur base, haxxoring ur mainframez

Kaitlin-2 shows him the contact disk, which is now “encoded with a self-destruct program” that she’s going to use to overheat the lab’s power core and destroy like all the things.  Ryan is noticeably concerned, but Kaitlin-2 points the fissicator at him to get him to stay in line.

Ok ok ok ok so here’s where we get to the point where, when I watched this today, I fully turned away from whatever it was I was doing to go wwwwwwwwwwwwtf

Kaitlin-2 has a disk that will blow up the lab -- and there’s nothing Ryan can do to stop her--

huh

bruh what are you

bro srsly what

is happening

You’re trying to tell me that Ryan “killed his own clone with no ragrets” Steele is trying to make an emotional appeal to this clone in order to undermine her sense of purpose?

...did she ever think that Grimlord cared about her?  As a person?  I feel like that wasn’t in the contract when she was 3D printed with the sole purpose of serving her dark master, and she shouldn’t have any emotional reaction to this assumed expectation being challenged.

And .... did they ... did they read my other post?  The one about wanting to keep the clone around ..... ??????

what is happening right now

Ryan leans hard into this “embrace your humanity” tactic and has the Puhfessor show them a live feed of JB and Kaitlin’s fight.

“...She sure could use our help...”

wait for it

When she balks, he gives her one last over the top inspirational blurb that despite of whatever it was Grimlord did to her, she’s still the same (good) person as Kaitlin.

It starts to sink it.

(also just check out these sweet eyelines, you can tell that the screen they’re watching is slightly to his left,  sort of behind her to her right, which makes sense!)

He keeps at it.

Looks like it’s working?  She starts to reconsider her whole existence ...

...considers Kaitlin’s ...

... moment of truth ...

And it works!

BUT IT DOESN’T STOP THERE YOU GUYS

“NOW GO HELP HER” RYAN COMMANDS

AND

OMG

CLONE KAITLIN-2 IS ALL

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I guess, I mean, obviously Ryan’s evil clone did that whole thing where he stole Ryan’s virtualizer and started flying the Skybase, so if this Kaitlin is the same as the other Kaitlin then obviously she’d be able to do this, too.

But like!  She was the main villain until like four seconds ago, somebody who did Ryan dirty.  Just another of Grimlord’s nefarious tools of warfare.  And Ryan, a man who’s killed his own clone before, who took a beating from her only hours prior, is suddenly the bigger man who is capable of seeing past all that in order to turn an agent of his enemy.  And to go do his job, no less!

This has never happened before.  This show’s always been kill or be killed.  There’s a good reason for this, and we’ll get to that in one moment.

But I like to think Ryan learned from his mistake.  He didn’t even try to to connect to his evil clone.  He just got beat up and went back for revenge.  (I’m looking back at my caps for that episode, and it seems it was the Puhfessor’s idea to kill the evil clone, and maybe there was a MacGuffin reason why it was The Only Way, I forget.)  Maybe he thought long and hard about the repercussions of his actions -- maybe he thought that, had he been able to better understand his evil self, that maybe that shadow version of him would have liked to have been given the benefit of the doubt?

At the end of the day, I can think whatever I want.  But why we never get any other reformed villains until now is only because

It’s almost like they recycled footage from a different show(s) and just had to roll with the punches.

So then JB and the Kaitlins fight some skugs and there’s a big explosion and a lot of jumping.  JB and Kaitlin get caught up with the SparkNotes version of who tf extra Kaitlin is and then they fight Stingbot, teleport to a quarry, you know, all the everyday stuff.

Back at the lab, Ryan’s feverishly trying to undo Kaitlin-2′s handiwork and keep the core from melting down.  Can he do i-- well yes.  He can and he does do it.  Then he TROOPER TRANSFORMs away and ... flies off to fight ... some jets ... I guess? 

pew pew pew

In the quarry, JB is going toe to toe with Stingbot.  Stingbot has some cute little wasp drones that electrocute everyone.  They’re having a good time out there.

it’s super effective

Ryan shoots some more jets ... JB dislodges his wasp and slices one off a Kaitlin with a sword ... the third one just .. pops off on its own *shrug*

Stingbot shoots some acid (oh he did that before, too, in the basement, but it was irrelevant) which evaporates a boulder ... Kaitlin goes back to her battlefield quips but they’re not nearly as flirty as the last time ...

JB gets out his lightsaber and GOES TO TOWN on the remaining bad guys.  That thing makes the BEST wvungwvungwvung sounds, just btw.

And that’s it!

Almost.

Grimlord spends his obligatory seven seconds ruing the day he ever met a VR Trooper and swearing revenge.

ya it’s called being a parent

Turns out he still hopes that the two Kaitlins will destroy each other!  Very optimistic guy, our Grimlord.

Back at ol’ HQ, JB and the Kaitlins stroll in and explain the sitch to Jeb.  Kaitlin-2 seems fully reformed!

yee gurrl

But oh-hoho, does the Puhfessor HATE clones.

buzzkill, emphasis on kill

So it turns out, and I quote, “two Kaitlins cannot exist in the same reality.”  I guess technically she’s not a clone, but a virtual double from the mirrorverse/VR land, so that kind of makes some sort of sense.  This dimension is too small for the both of you!

The stakes are that if the two Kaitlins are not rejoined within 24 hours, both Kaitlins will byte the dust. 

Oh no!!

This was the point where, having a pretty good internal clock as well as a refined sense of story structure, I literally smirked at the screen thinking “soooooooo what.  you have like two minutes left and you’re gonna fix it in time for the credits.  overdramatic stakes are overdramatic.”

AND

THEN

THE

KICKER

OH-HOHO

I WAS

SO WRONG

SAME THO?1

:D

[elizabethrobertajones]

Comparing Season 6 and Season 10 - which one do you think makes more sense as a whole, which one better pulls of seeming like what happened/was revealed at the end of the season is what was supposed to happen/was planned all along?

I may be biased, but for me, season 6 by miles. And almost all of that is Edlund desperately cramming everything that had happened so far into something that either made sense or handwaved why it didn’t make sense in an effectively emotional enough episode that by the end of TMWWBK you sort of feel like you’ve actually got your answers and Cas has been completely honest and open with YOU at least, making it that much easier to handle what was going on. 

I think for me season 10 was poorly handled in ways that weren’t particularly well addressed and the only offered explanation ever was “oh it was Amara after all” which in the context of season 11 gives us some more characterisation to begin to pull things together, though without addressing everything. Still if we’re dealing with things as a whole, season 10 doesn’t have an episode that scrapes everything together in the post-Edlund era and what we get only within the confines of season 10 is extremely unsatisfactory, even if later canon eases it a little bit, along with just… not being actively in SPN season 10 as it airs :P 

Going off my memories of being in the fandom at the time, we had a lot of issues with things like 

Dean’s incomplete demon reversal (so far as in 10x02, written by Dabb who invented the cure repeating the correct steps, then in 10x03 Buckleming not following through with them)

“the river ends at the source” “never mind I was screwing with you”

Did Cain still have the Mark after 9x11? lasting drama until 10x14, and still debated afterwards especially by people who had thought he didn’t have the Mark and had passed it entirely to Dean now being very confused  

What the fuck was this about Lucifer having the Mark and how did that last minute addition affect everything? 

the Colette parallel being wildly mis-applied by fandom but also issues with the show’s fear to explore it leading to “we are all the colette” episodes with lasting drama until 10x22, where Charlie, Sam and Cas all variously and persistently seemed to be suggested to be capable of being a team effort to pull Dean out of the darkness. 10x22 also wasn’t enough to stop Dean, and the final confrontation was with Sam, I think a general consensus was - especially again with season 11′s help - that the memory of Mary drew him back/unleashed Amara metaphorically who unleashed Mary literally - it wasn’t a great note to end on without season 11 context (as a whole, so, like, a whole YEAR later) that Sam had “won” the battle to bring Dean back from himself where Cas had failed, and the subtext and show and fandom most of all had made SUCH a huge deal out of Colette, after 9x11 over-told her story instead of retelling Cain & Abel, that it was set up with the expectation that saving Dean was a romantic quest, not a brotherly one. 10x14 sort of helped set things to rights with the list, but the fighting about what it all meant at the time was AWFUL, and though I think I was right and the show bore that out and these days I type it all with confidence, I’m pretty sure there’s a ton of buried wank about it that could be dragged out if we want >.>

the fact there wasn’t really an overarcing Mark of Cain plot except “Dean is suffering” with the only 3 actual plot points they could do with it being demon!Dean, kill Cain, and remove Mark. Because of that, everything else is literally set-dressing to fill the time and add drama in between, but these were played with poorly and there wasn’t any subterfuge we weren’t in on (i.e. sam stealing the book) vs Cas betraying both the Winchesters and US. The only retcon offered in the end was Death’s exposition about the Darkness.

people literally forgetting which order episodes came out in and being very confused about why Amara wasn’t released when Dean was 14 in 10x12 even though he didn’t kill Cain for 2 more episodes (like, within weeks of 10x14 airing, I swear)

the understandable disappearance of Cole but bizarre application of that hunter called Rudy who popped up in his place and featured in 10x23 along with Cas for Dean’s guilt trip. Even if Cole and TAW sucked ass, it’s much easier to understand the emotional impact of what happened to Rudy if you assume he has the exact same backstory as Cole and the same nonsense happened to Dean twice in the same year :P 

Pre-season hype about Rowena made a huge deal out of the Grand Coven, and for a brief moment it seemed like there might be a witch plotline, including new lore dumps about different types of witches in 10x07, characters like Olivette the Hamster, etc, but they squandered her first season and 10x19 was as close as we got to any pay off to her actual storyline

Then Oskaar happened and that was like ??? Okay just introduce him in the second to last episode and throw us into that emotional situation 

the entire cure coming out of nowhere as a random last minute macguffin instead of having been anything they put together over the season - even though the book of the damned thing showed up in 10x11 it changed substantially from the clue Charlie left with (a less than 100 year old book with a library reference number found on an antique rare book website, based on a real book, which we all picked over and were left wondering if the plot was to be about some sort of occultism thing as a result) to a much different lore. Then there were a few episodes dealing with it and the codex, the actual spell had no real struggle, and Crowley delivered all the pieces while Cas stood around scowling and Rowena stood around in chains eye-rolling. Compare season 13′s pacing with Sam and Dean cobbling together what they needed from halfway through the season, and being on the mission to get to the AU from episode 9, with relatively little of the endless sitting around googling and being frustrated of past seasons but ESPECIALLY season 10 where Sam was futilely trawling the results of googling “mark of cain” from mid-late season 9 through to like, 10x18 when an actual brief plot appeared around it directly. 

I think all of it points to a problem of working forwards from where they were instead of backwards to tidy up what was left. In season 6 Edlund took as many loose plot threads, from how Sam lost his soul, what was up with Crowley and Cas, the angel war, explanations for Sam and Samuel working together, why eve happened, everything, and put it all together to explain the elements of the season so far in a new light. Despite how disastrous that season was, PRETENDING you knew like you meant to do it all along glosses over inconsistencies in Samuel’s story or Cas and Crowley’s 6x10 interactions, and makes them relatively inconsequential when most of the details add up. 

The same thing works with the Lucifer as Sam’s vessel storyline, in the sense that while Azazel’s plan is fucking ridiculous in its over-complex bizarre attempt to find a worthy true vessel that Heaven had fated, comparing season 1-2 to season 5 head on is bad, each season explains itself from the last in enough of a way and with enough knowledge of what already happened that really despite vast inconsistencies in the lore, by 5x22 we are pretty much all on board to accept the way it all played out because they use what was previously written to build up Sam’s arc, and little details thrown in towards the end like Brady and then Lucifer revealing ALL of Sam’s closer rando peeps had been demons, tidy up more and more loose ends and there’s left with plausible deniability about a lot of the issues.

In season 10 they kept on introducing elements instead of working with what they had already established, and also discarded what seemed like major plot hooks for Rowena and Cole, one annoyingly, one completely metatextually understandably and fuck TAW, I’m glad the show never brought Cole back as soon as rumours of him groping fans appeared, and it makes me genuinely trust that the SPN set is a safe place. But yeah. 

Things they set up and could have worked with, were the Cas’s grace arc, which was resolved to a small personal satisfaction to Cas without any major plot impact except we could stop worrying about when Cas would get sick and die from bad grace, or steal more. 

The demon!Dean issue was bad writing from Buckleming re: was he still a demon or not, but given Dean was supposed to be struggling with succumbing to darkness the season actually kept him almost completely level without any significant relapses, even after killing Cain. The sense of needing a functional Dean Winchester to keep hunting monsters and prop up the show as both the carrier of the mytharc, the emotional core, and the go-between between Sam and Cas even when the show was trying to figure out if Sam and Cas could function without Dean, it was all still so much about Dean that in 10x21 when they’re doing the cringeworthy “for Dean” thing and Rowena rolls her eyes like “I barely know the man”, I was actually applauding Buckleming snark thinking they maybe briefly had a handle on how ridiculous Dean’s position in the narrative was. (Listen, this was the last 10 minutes of my innocence about how awful Buckleming could be, leave past!me alone. She’s sweet and precious and not bitter :P) In any case, a more effective season would have utilised him more to slip and slide between light and dark and explore it in much deeper detail, but balancing that with a procedural formula doesn’t work as well and they were lacking enough philosophers on staff. I think the Dabb era writing team could handle it, because Yockey, Perez, and Glynn especially, who seems to have a psychology background based on her writing, all have a sharp attention to the exact things in emotional arcs that would have made it work better, even just as it was. Since this was a weaker writing team where Robbie, Bobo and Dabb episodes were little islands of excellence and the motw were fun but more shallow even with strong foreshadowing themes, it just didn’t pay off. 

I think the biggest waste of time was “the river ends at the source” which was either Buckleming trying to introduce a concept and hoping someone else dealt with it, or an agreed plot hook which never materialised, or Metatron literally spoke the truth, that the line had only ever been written to mess with us. However 10x23 could have actually included more of a “river ends at the source” sort of slant and had Death confirm it in so many words because Amara really did sort of seem to be the answer to the question. In 10x10 it seemed like they knew where the season was going, but by 10x17 it was obvious they DIDN’T, and it was during 10x18 that the plot actually got hashed out and Robbie was handed heavy revisions to make to change the Stynes to end of season villains and the Book of the Damned was going to be used how it was. I think this is really weak plotting, as someone who always puts in fun lines and then attempts like crazy to pay off on them. My first novel has the line “you can’t talk to me yet” and I play through that the whole book until they CAN talk and make it a major motif, goal and in the end try to explain it as best I can about how it’s all plot relevant and why using that for tension to put off the explanations and such was a valid thing to throw at my main character, and then the springboard to more adventure when she was ready for it. I literally do not understand putting a portentous line into your story, and not becoming desperately eager to answer it or twist something into revealing how it all fits at the end, if not basing your entire story off of it. Sam and Dean seemed wildly uncurious about how to apply that or what it means. 

In season 6 one of the more frustrating things is the “it’s all about the souls” line because Dean fails to investigate until someone or other rolls their eyes and makes it all clear to him. But we get a few more reminders in Cas’s presence, until we find out his plan, and Crowley repeats that line in 6x20 when making his sales pitch to Cas, if I’m remembering rightly (I hope so :/) and so despite Dean’s infuriating lack of investigation (not that he had a great deal of leads, but still - you could build a plot around it by GIVING him a lead, he’s the fictional character and you’re the writer :P) at the very least they repeat the motif in at least 6x17 and 6x20 to my memory, before the souls thing becomes a lot more obvious about Cas taking the purgatory souls and we’re allowed to actually discuss what he’s up to instead of the vague hints Atropos and Rachel give that they know his plans. 6x07 also hints early on that Purgatory is full of monster souls if you add it all up - the writers knew they were doing SOMETHING with this even if it took to the end of the season for it to all come together. (And that’s something that’s clearly and overarcing plot that Gamble oversaw because she wrote 6x11 and the line then appears in multiple episodes around the place, so that’s not just something Edlund tidied up but an actual effort to write the season well.)

Throwing aside the “river ends at the source” line is wildly frustrating because it wouldn’t have been too hard to apply it thematically and even keep Metatron being a douche while giving the viewer a pay off anyway for our own satisfaction, by showing it had been a theme all along anyway. You CAN squint at season 10 and analyse it through that lens but it’s exhausting when the show doesn’t give us the themes on a platter. It also shows that the plotting is careless and they’re experimenting, and rather than working with what they have, this is in a path of episodes where they’re discarding some plotlines, and we’re beginning to have end of season plotlines hastily pasted onto the end of the season, but they make very little of any of the work already done to build up the season as we’d seen it so far.

Add onto that Charlie being murdered for manpain to motivate some things into action and all the random elements being used, and the sense that Crowley, Cas and Rowena all abruptly ran out of a plotline that had been intended to utilise them and put on a side character duty away from Sam and Dean, the season is extremely messily and carelessly written, and without any real attention to detail to its own themes and characters and plotlines. Even if they’d gone into the season not particularly expecting where to go, they brought a lot to the table early on but then quickly wiped a lot of it off, and brought a lot more stuff to the table instead, which makes season 10 a really wonky, unfinished feeling product as a thing on its own, and the overall story is scrappy and carelessly plotted.

And that is speaking just about the easy plot stuff without getting into the absolute mess of speculation from the Destiel side of fandom wondering wtf was going on with the seeming build up to crypt scenes, colette, the grace cure, etc, that made up the bulk of the speculation but makes actually analysing expectations vs presented product completely impossible to evaluate on that side of things because as always Destiel speculation really overshoots what is expected and was really running wild at that point. I mean, not being judgemental because that was the year I was right in the thick of it. 3 years clear of it now, some of it seems really silly, but those 3 things all seemed clearly built up to our eyes, and we got the reverse crypt scene we’d been expecting since before the season started, and we got the Colette reference which slotted Cas firmly into place as a reminder of how Cain’s peeps lined up against Dean’s, as well as Cas asking Dean to stop, which satisfied the terms and conditions of Dean resisting walking in Cain’s footsteps with the overall set up of the scene. With the way Cas got his grace back and then some other rando cure popped up where Rowena of all people made the sacrifice, I really can’t help feeling like the conspiracy theorist who knows they were right but with the way it all shook out, only people who knew the conspiracy would understand how it didn’t happen and it’s very hard for me to look at that and say that some non-Cas-related cure was coming all along, given the conspicuous dropping of one plotline sort of day of picking up the next >.> But I’ll cede that from my position I might be a bit compromised on that one. 

Anyways. To me season 10 is a disaster that only season 11 really justifies, while season 6 has some truly low points but in the end the actual writing skill hauls it through so that it creates the illusion that there was consistency, if you ignore everything outside of the text suggesting it may have been as poorly planned as season 10. Planning isn’t everything - it’s what you do when confronted with the unplanned wire tangle in front of you that really marks how well they were written, and just shoving it under the table and putting a new wire tangle down vs actually unpicking it and making them as neat as possible? Gamble slam dunks Carver :P

[yoolee]

If Lee wrote otome #8 | Interstellar Shoestring Budget

PREMISE:

Top Secret and yet also chronically underfunded, understaffed, misunderstood government office focused on extraterrestrial affairs - primarily, keeping their presence a secret, helping stranded extraterrestrials integrate into Earth society, processing planned visits, occasionally preventing mass invasions - with a basically nonexistent budget, since the people making the decision on where to allocate money can’t know the truth. This means cobbling together disguises with the help of a local community theatre department or high school art program, macguyvering weapons together from duct tape, staplers and tech that’s 20 years out of date, and relying on an unpaid (extraterrestrial) intern to handle social media updates and PR.  3D prints most of their supplies. TAKES PLACE IN LAS VEGAS probably. Where else would you hide the fantastical?

Potentially fatal extraterrestrial parasite found? Let’s hope roach killer spray works on it. I think there’s some under the break room kitchen sink.

Large scale invasion by the Truorans imminent? We avoided the last one with Tweeter - do they have Tweeter? Do we know anyone who can communicate in Truoran? No - let’s try emojis then, I guess.

Newly stranded alien has blue scales and six eyes? Welcome to Earth - here’s a mepipe contouring video and some concealer, good luck.

Zero mind-control memory wipe devices - unless they can convince an alien with those abilities to do it, they pretty much have to rely on chicanery, natural skeptical instincts, and bribery (as a last resort, because, budget).

(side note - super tempted to say it’s old enough to have been ‘Ye Olde Extraterrestrial-Earth Transfer Support’ but over time the ‘olde’ and ‘support’ got dropped so now it’s just YEET)

HEROINE

Bad at delegating - takes on too much too often (usually because she’s so used to not having budget to hire more people to do it). Somewhat high-strung. Prone to trying every new ‘this will change your life’ trend out there but never makes it more than a month or two before falling back on bad habits. Excellent cook, often of very, very weird combinations in hopes of landing on the right mix for some of her clients (even though many of them find the practice of coming together as a group to independently ingest energy sources bizarre). Staunch believer in trying for peace first - just because we can’t communicate doesn’t mean we don’t have common ground, and just because something is unexplained or unfamiliar doesn’t mean it’s dangerous. Too tired to be scared of anything, which is good, because sometimes the existential questioning of her reality and the world beyond it can be derailing. Went straight into the military after high school, which is how she ended up learning about extraterrestrial outreach. Still keeps a lot of service habits. Currently trying to wean off of caffeine (it’s not going well). Has no social life because she is always on call for work. Angry and hurting about the cruelty of the world--not just hers, but universally--but tries to ignore the anger in favor of doing small things to make it better.

Love Interests

Alien 1: Alien who integrated into Earth six-seven years ago when heroine was first being assigned to the department. Has some serious telepathic ability, which allows them to conveniently convince anyone looking at them that they’re seeing a regular, normal human being, instead of what they actually are (basically energy-based, rather than having a solid manifest form). Unfortunately, they also kind of uses it willynilly to ‘convince’ people of over things, because they don’t believe in subscribing to human ethical codes except when convenient, which makes them a teensy bit untrustworthy. Generally seems content (even happy) to be on Earth, making a significant effort to establish a long-term life. Occasionally acts as a consultant to the department since their ability makes them generally able to communicate with most species, so long as they produce rational thoughts on a similar level, but refuses to help for free, dealing instead in favors (doesn’t need money since they can just convince people to fork over twenty bucks or food for free or whatever they need). Super shady about their backstory. Does not deal in absolutes - their perception of reality is somewhat more multi-tiered and probability-based. Originally from a species with collective thought/memory - something they were shut out of shortly after arriving on Earth, without explanation. Semi-dealing with the trauma of that, and waffles between being elated with their independence, and feeling a profound sense of loss and severance. 

The Techie: “I have a computer science engineering degree from MIT and I took this lousy-paying government job because I thought I’d get to hack into alien spaceships but instead I’m basically the Help Desk for Earth-integrating aliens.” Eternally despairs over the incompatibility of Earth tech and extraterrestrial tech - though they’ve managed to make a few basic communication consoles work retroactively and never give up on writing some kind of code or program that will ‘click’. Teensy bit of a mad scientist when it comes to dismantling alien stuff to try and figure out how it works. Perennial smarta--. Knows how critical they are and milks it - basically constantly threatens to leave and go work for Fwoogle (particularly when called upon to do something like unjam the printer). Generally has to be bribed to participate, but more reliable than they pretend. Sociable nerd. Constantly dealing with parents who are disappointed because they expected them to be an Aluminum Valley billionaire by now. Builds apps that provide helpful tips for integrating aliens, and programs the 3D printer to print out disguise pieces.

Actually does quit to go work for Fwoogle or a startup in their own route to avoid coworker issue - except they get sucked back in to at least helping due to some major trouble.

The oh shoot we ended up in space for the final act route - and not only did we end up in space, but we are stranded on a ship that uses totally different tech than ours?

Alien 2: SUPER UNHAPPY about being stuck in this backwater solar system, with such a horrible, rude, unpleasant, backwards-thinking, awful-acting dominant species. May or may not be plotting to wipe them all off the face of the planet. Very volatile (in a literal sense - their surface tends to react explosively with Earth’s atmosphere), though they are trying hard to control it because that’s potentially fatal. From a very aggressive species that has a narrative of peace-through-conquest - but their last mission to do so, there was a catastrophic failure, and that’s the last Alien 2 knows. 

Private Industry/Casino Owner (Alien 3): From a shapeshifting species that is essentially adaptive - becoming more and more like their surroundings as time goes on, which means they have super easily integrated into Earth society. Unfortunately, they arrived on Earth back when the Mafia was running Vegas, so, those are the behaviors that are integrated first. Generous but violent. Persuasive, arrogant, has a strict moral code that is a mix of alien and Earthling. Genteel but vicious. Literal embodiment of what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger due to adaptive abilities. Has amassed enough of a fortune through running a (super shady) Vegas casino that they have opened their own charity to support extraterrestrials on earth. Frequently tries to hire MC to run it (look at all the resources you could have) but she considers it a conflict of interest (she’s more afraid they will entice away Techie). Has every intention of making Earth an interstellar destination for extraterrestrial tourists - regardless of what Earth’s governments think of it.

Space Pirate (Alien 4): There has to be one, okay? Child of a union between a generally terrifying species and one that inadvertently created them in a last-ditch effort to halt the conquest of their planet, which did not make for a great childhood as they were somewhat disdained by one parent’s species and feared by just about everyone else. Because of this, they have a very strong dislike/distrust of organized groups (governments in particular) but (deep down) they still believe in individuals, as they’ve found several of their life who have become friends or family (or crew). Fiercely loyal to their own. Likes Earth because as an unintegrated planet, they can come and go without scrutiny (except for one measly office that sometimes harangues them). Operates in a very gray morality - stealing is okay, killing in self-defense (even proactively) is okay, doing what you have to survive is okay (though they try to be one to make that decision before their crew), but some things just aren’t. Values independence and freedom over all else. Does not get along with Alien 1 at all because of the collective-thought aspect.

Conspiracy Theory TV Producer: coming soon maybe idk

Supporting Cast:

Various clients:

Doesn’t experience time in a linear fashion which makes them super hard to keep track of.

Myth bases - various types of dragons, mermaids, selkies, etc

A neon-based organism that is colorless and a low-energy loner, and returning them to their home would require a massive amount of voltage, which when applied totally alters them.

A sodium-based organism to whom water is toxic, making it a massive time crunch to get them to a desert location

A mercury-based parasitic organism that has found it can ‘merge’ with humans as their skin absorbs it, giving them a mobile vessel that blends in, except ultimately their toxicity kills their host and they have to find another.

Starkillers! Check it out. Iron-based organisms born from the death of massive stars (creating iron takes more energy than is released by the fusion, so stars that make iron essentially cannibalize themselves) - they are subsequently feared by default by most species that recognize the power inherent to stars. They consume other entities in search of the greater energy they once had. Consuming carbon-oxygen based entities stabilizes them into steel-based organisms.

Various visitors who they haven’t figured out how best to communicate with but they’re trying!

Fire cat:  An alien lifeform that seems to be a physical, tangible manifestation of heat. It followed heroine home from work and refuses to leave. Since it likes to cuddle and has taken the shape of an Earth cat (...except for the fact it glows like a hot coal), heroine doesn’t really ask too many questions (Even though sometimes, out of the corner of her eye, she swears she sees some massive, fiery shape). She’s still not sure what it eats but it seems content. It’s even started purring on occasion. It will absolutely scorch her fingers if she pets it when it’s not in the mood, though. She keeps telling it she’s a dog person and it keeps giving her a perfect Judgey Not-Actually-A-Cat stare.

Author Roomie: Former frustrated wild child who has (sort of) settled down - with a vengeance. Only leaves the house when they have to - which, given modern conveniences, means almost never - or when they finish a book, at which point they disappear for a few days and MC never knows where they go. They actually hired one of MC’s extraterrestrial clients to act as them for book signings and the like. Was raised by their ‘aunt’ *coughcough*my ode to Aunt Beast*coughcough* who was, in fact, an extraterrestrial, which is how they know about all this. Super helpful in coming up with cover stories. Incredibly laid back about life, incredibly NOT laid back about their book plots - tends to bite MC’s head off (figuratively) around deadline time or when stuck on a particularly tricky chapter. Thoughtful, in the sense that they think things through before answering, clever. Jealous that fire cat loves heroine but won’t sit in author’s lap unless it is SUPER cold outside.

Author’s Editor: Had an absolutely hysterical panic attack when they found out their number one author’s stand-in was not from the planet Earth. Still prone to being hysterical about it if they think about it too much. Chronically weeps over their trouble child client - who is a consistent top ten bestseller, but the definition of exhaustion to work with. Ebbs and flows with author’s mood - when author is laidback, editor is stressed, when author is stressed, editor is the picture of serenity and encouragement. Totally ends up dating ET stand-in even if they have hiccups.

Author’s Aunt:  The sort of being who imparts strength on/in others simply through steadfast grace. Just a profoundly loving presence. Healer in a very literal sense, she can help most species to be well and healthy, but there is not a good way to articulate how. Very, very old and has been on Earth a very, very long time - even before the government started a program to integrate aliens, she was acting as a kind of welcomer/healer/mentor/surrogate family to stranded aliens - and the occasional hurting, angry, frustrated human child, as was the case with Author. Often beats the government to the scenes of crashes. Home is always open to anyone who finds their way there. Heroine sees her appearance differently than the author does - when asked about it, neither can really explain why or how, since AA does not perceive the world visually.

Intern: Snarky college kid who acts like an absolute slacker but it’s all a smokescreen for a pathological need to exceed expectations - they actually work super hard behind the scenes. Primary duties include yelling PHOTOSHOP on forums where people post pictures of extraterrestrials. Always seems to have energy. Acts like they are super grouchy about having to adhere to the overly rigorous NDA but is actually extremely zealous about making the world better and safer for all of its residents.  

[topclassteacher-blog]

What it’s like to live and teach English in South Korea

I have been teaching for nearly 10 years and during that time, I have had the privilege of teaching in a number of different countries. Therefore, I’d like to write a few posts for other  travellers who may be thinking of following in my footsteps.

So, first of all, let’s go back to where it all began; Busan, South Korea. The year is 2008 and I had just finished my degree. Like a lot of graduates, I didn’t really know what I wanted to do with my life but I had spent the previous few years working with kids and I had loved it. Therefore, when my mum told me that the daughter of one of her friends was teaching in South Korea, I thought why not?

Before Going

One of the worst parts of my whole experience was before I went. First of all, a mate of mine was supposed to come with me but he dropped out - after we had had our leaving party! Then, the agent who I had been working with went on holiday and my visa application sat on her desk untouched. This meant that I was late arriving and I missed the training provided by the EPIK (English Program in Korea). That being said, I have since been told that the training was not fantastic and that a lot of my peers went to their respective schools feeling far from confident.

If you are planning to go to Korea, you must be in possession of the following things:

- A Bachelor’s Degree

- A passport from a native speaking English country (UK, USA, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, Ireland)

The following things are also important to consider

- No visible tattoos

- No history of mental illness

- No drug use (you are drug tested when you arrive)

However, remember that most employers in South Korea will pay for:

- Your rent

- Your flight (this will be reimbursed on arrival)

Arriving

Upon arriving in Busan, South Korea, I was taken to my school directly from the plane. Imagine my horror when I realised this - I was wearing a Hooters baseball top as it was the most comfortable and loose fitting thing I owned. I met the principal and had to give a little speech in front of all the other teachers - again something I wasn’t prepared for.

Just a day later, I was in front of my first ever class. I had been given a few textbooks (even then I could see what poor quality they were) and the powerpoints created by the previous incumbent of my position. I cobbled together an introduction lesson and stood up in front of the class. Now here is a huge difference to consider - will you be in a public school (organised by EPIK) or a hagwon (a private academy)? For an explanation of the difference, see the section below. I was with EPIK which meant I was assisted by a Korean co-teacher who translated everything I said into Korean. At the time, I thought this was great but I now realise that this is really bad practice. I was really glad she was there that day though as, 25 minutes into a 40 minute lesson, I ran out of things to say. Fortunately, she stepped in and ‘rescued’ me and by the time the next class rolled around, I had prepared a little more; enough to fill the time at least.

On the whole, I did the best I could in class but with no formal training, I acknowledge my lessons were pretty awful. That’s why I would definitely recommend getting a CELTA before teaching anywhere. Not only does it prepare you for what it’s like to stand in front of a class but you also get a slight salary bump as well.

EPIK or Hagwon?

EPIK

Advantages

A Korean co-teacher handles discipline and is on hand to translate any difficult words.

You don’t teach the same class all the time so you can ‘rinse and repeat’ lessons which means less planning.

Your classes are often cancelled as they are not high priority. This means you often get paid for doing nothing. For me, this was actually a disadvantage because I went stir-crazy with nothing to do for long periods.

You work a traditional work week - 8.30-4.30, Monday-Friday.

You are much less likely to get bad accommodation, although this does happen.

Disadvantages

Days are very repetitive

You may be the only native speaker teacher there which can make meeting new people difficult

You sometimes feel like a circus attraction - the kids used to come to my class just to stare at me or pull hairs out of my arms.

Hagwon

Advantages

Higher salary

You teach the same children so you have a chance to learn names and build a relationship with them

There are other native speakers around for you to interact with.

You are given full lesson plans to work with

Disadvantages

There are a lot of shady operators who do not treat their teachers very well, e.g. a friend of mine was made to live in her boss’ basement.

You work until late. The normal work day is 2-10pm.

Your classes are NEVER cancelled. If you are contracted to work those hours, there will always be students there.

You have to handle discipline yourself.

Life in Korea

Socialising in Korea

Socialising in Korea was incredible. I quickly got myself into a football team of native speaker teachers and travelled all over Korea with them and I had a large group of friends. While the majority of my free time was spent out drinking and partying, I also had some of the most incredible experiences there including:

- Making Kimchi (see food) with monks

- Diving with sharks at the Busan Aquarium

- Jumping off the Daegu Tower (unfortunately this is now closed)

- Playing in a volleyball tournament on Haeundae Beach in Busan

- Being invited to a co-teacher’s house for traditional Korean food

- Visiting incredible temples - Yonggungsa in Busan is stunning!

2. Korean Food

I miss the food - my God how I miss the food! When I arrived, I wasn’t convinced by the food but after being shown around by my new friends, I realised that Korean food is fantastic. Here are some of the things you need to try

- Kimchi. The Korean staple, Kimchi is fermented cabbage served in a chilli sauce. While it may not sound nice, it’s different in every restaurant that you visit and when you find 2-3 restaurants where they make good kimchi, you will not be able to stop eating it. Popular variations are Kimchi-jigae (Kimchi soup) and Kimchi-Pahjon (Kimchi pancake) which are also delicious.

- Samgyupsal and Bulgogi. Order raw meat and cook it on your own personal grill with onions, garlic, Korean chilli paste and Kimchi. Then enjoy family style!

- Hae-Jang-Guk. Translated this means ‘hangover soup’ and boy does it do the job. The contents are pork spine with a fiery broth. The meat just melts in your mouth and you can add rice for extra yumminess.

- Tang-Soo-Yuk. Korea’s answer to sweet and sour, this is much more tasty in my opinion. Sticky and really unhealthy, it’s another thing you won’t want to stop eating.

- Ojingo. Squid that is served while it is still moving. This is an acquired taste but something you have to try. The sensation of the suckers sticking to the inside of your mouth is bizarre but unique.

3. Korean people/customs

On the whole, you will find Koreans a pleasant enough bunch and some of the younger generations have grown up having native speaking English teachers so it is normal for them. Make an effort to have some Korean friends even though it’s tempting to just hang around with other English speakers. Some of my best experiences came with my Korean friends Gyu-Ho, and (Super) Hans. However, there are a few things you should be aware of. Do not get into any kind of conflict with a Korean as your status as a foreigner means you are always in the wrong (even in the eyes of the police in some cases). Koreans are fiercely protective of their language and are not especially helpful when you make mistakes. Do what I didn’t and take classes to make sure your pronunciation is spot on.

Korean people (especially women) love to form relationships with native speakers and while they are very affectionate and undeniably attractive in a lot of cases, this can cause problems with old-fashioned families. One friend of mine was told that he would marry his Korean girlfriend ‘over her father’s dead body’.

This section seems unduly negative and I don’t want it to be. Most of the people I met were great people and were so happy that I was there to share in their culture. The negative sides of this part are more a case of ‘forewarned is forearmed’.

In terms of customs, you will often find that you will need to remove your shoes before entering a house or, in my case, even a school. However, they will often provide slippers/sandals for you to wear.

While eating there are a few customs to be aware of. A lot of meals in restaurants are served on low tables which require you to sit cross-legged. I am the least flexible person ever so this was not an enjoyable experience for me. Also, the person sitting opposite you is your ‘partner’ and you are ‘responsible’ for them, Make sure they always have a drink in front of them and serve it to them with one hand while holding the other on your bicep, e.g. serve with your right hand, your left hand should be on your right bicep. Finally, please please please learn to use chopsticks before you go. When I arrived, I didn’t know how to use them and it caused me no end of embarrassment. When I finally learned, my Korean co-teachers and waiters/waitresses in restaurants were so happy. It’s a small thing but it makes a huge difference.

The last major custom that you should be aware of is the different approach to nudity. Koreans will often visit jjimjilbangs (spas) with friends and coworkers. Once inside, the men and the women are separated and go into large spa rooms/hot baths completely naked. This is normal but Korean people are a little prone to staring especially if, like me, you are quite hirsute.

4. Shopping in Korea

While you are in Korea, you will still be able to get a lot of your home comforts. In Busan, they have a Costco where you can buy a lot of Western food although you have to buy it in bulk.

In terms of clothes, you need to be aware that sizes differ drastically. Here in the UK, when buying a pair of shorts, I wear a medium but in Korea my shorts were an XL! Also, for women, if you are busty, it can be very difficult to find clothes that will fit. A friend of mine once went into a shop and the shop assistant pointed at her chest and said “No size, no size”.

As you might imagine, electronics are cheap so there’s no need to take too many gadgets with you. I bought a really nice camera out there much cheaper than I could have bought it in the UK.  

5. Transport/Getting Around in Korea

The best way of travelling from city to city in Korea is the KTX (the bullet train). This super-fast train is affordable and comfortable and is a pleasure to travel on. If you’re on a budget there is also the mugunghwa which is an older, slower train that is used to get to smaller towns and villages.

In terms of travelling in the city, most of the big cities have a subway system which makes it easy to get around. I used this opportunity to learn the Korean letters as all the stations are in Korean and in English. There are also buses that you can use if there isn’t a subway station near where you are heading. Finally, taxis are much cheaper than in the UK (I’d say cheaper even than Uber) but make sure that you know how to pronounce where you’re going - I got into a rather heated argument with a taxi driver about my pronunciation of White Hotel as the Korean pronunciation was White-uh Hoe-ter. As you might imagine, I was quite upset about having my pronunciation of English words corrected.

Last word

Overall, Korea is a wonderful place and a part of me still misses living there. The quality of life is great and as an English teacher you will be financially comfortable.

I hope this guide to living in Korea has been helpful and if there is anything I haven’t covered or if you have any questions, feel free to contact me.

[travelteatv]

In April of this year, my friend Hamilton and I went on a road trip around Latvia and Estonia (well one place in Latvia and a bunch of places in Estonia). I’ve done individual posts on each day of the trip but figured it might be helpful to do an overview of the entire route.

RIGA -> TARTU -> TALLINN -> PARNU -> RIGA

We flew in with Ryanair and returned on Air Baltic, both are obviously basic airlines but its only a 2 hour 40 flight so didn’t really matter to us. We only booked about 6 weeks ahead of time and could still get affordable flights.

Please note that we did this over only 6 days simply because that’s all the time we had, you could definitely do it over a longer period and visit more places/stay in some for more time.

We used Sixt car hire and got a nice little Seat Leon, which did the job. I didn’t drive this time because it was cheaper not to and there wasn’t too much driving, but I can tell you it was enjoyable to sit in. Hamilton also seemed to enjoy driving it. The drives in between each place were never that long and generally the roads were incredibly empty, so if you’ve never driven on the right hand side of the road, Estonia is a good place to start.

We had a really good time away and planned it all quite loosely before hand – we prebooked the accommodation, flights, car etc but didn’t choose precisely what we were going to do at any point. I did look up how much different things roughly cost so we we had an idea before we got there (museums, art galleries etc) but I’ll be honest and say I expected food and drink to be less. They were of course cheaper than in London but I wouldn’t say much less money than when I’ve been away to say France/Germany. We were spoiled by how little we spent on our Croatian road trip, I think (link to our Croatian itinerary here). I have a few recommendations of places to eat/drink here and there but often we ate on the road to save time/money.

.

(Click on the days for a link to the individual blog posts)

DAY 1 – RIGA

I absolutely loved Riga – its cool and trendy yet has so much history and stunning architecture. One minute you’re walking through fairytale streets and the next you’re in a modern bar. You’re spoilt for choice with food and drink options and there’s plenty to do for a few days stay.

Accommodation: We stayed at the Wellness Centrum Hotel and Spa, which cost £64 (between us). It did everything we needed plus that bit more with spa access, breakfast included and a great location for exploring the old town. The rooms weren’t huge but that didn’t bother us.

Things we did:

Explore the Old Town: Its really nice just to wander round and soak in all of the cobbled streets, churches, gates and squares around the city. Plus its free!

St Peter’s Church Tower: Costs €9 for entrance to the church and to go to the top of the tower for good views of the city. When we went there was lots of art on display around the church but I’m unsure if that is always there.

National Museum of Art: This costs €6.50 and I really recommend going. There is so much Latvian Art to see and its beautifully laid out. There’s also a really nice (and quite upmarket feeling) cafe/restaurant. The only negative thing I have to say about it is that the art gallery staff have no issue really intently watching you look at the art to the point where it becomes slightly unnerving. This may be because the place was almost empty on a Tuesday afternoon though, I can’t be sure.

Art Nouveau architecture: There are a few streets close to the national museum of art that are full of insane buildings. Whether or not you’re an architecture fan, its worth a look. Again, also free!

. .

DAY 2 – RIGA/TARTU

Tartu wasn’t as large as we had expected – personally just over a day there was long enough for us. It’s pretty but not in the same way as Riga. 

The Leaning Art Museum

Accommodation: In Tartu we stayed at the Alexander Apartments which cost us £40 for the night between us. It had on street parking out front and looked like an adorable dolls house inside. The owner was really sweet and couldn’t have been more helpful.

Things we did:

Cathedral/University museum: The remains of the cathedral are free to walk around and quite cool to see. In summer the towers are open but you have to pay a fee for access. Right next to here is the University museum, which we went into in all honesty thinking it was the art museum (damn google maps). Its only €5 to go in but depends what your interests are as to whether you’ll want to go; its mostly a history of the museum. If the special exhibit about crime scenes/detective work is on – it has real tapes/stories of crimes that happened in Estonia and information about them that is really, really interesting. And it’s all in English.

Old Town: Not as large as Riga’s old town in comparison but still has some lovely parts that are worth a look in. It was getting dark by the time we got there so we didn’t get so see that much of it.

National Museum of Estonia: 100%, definitely go here. Its one of THE best museums I have ever been to. It costs €14 to get in which is a little pricey but worth it. For one thing its huge but also it has so many different objects, displayed in really well thought out ways. Top tip though: get one of the key cards that translates displays into English (or your home language) when you go in. We didn’t get given one when we went in and were super confused most of the time we were in there.

Upside Down House: This is just a bit of fun really. Well, really fun. We went right at the end of the day and had the place to ourselves. Its right next to the National Museum and its literally a house built upside down, with furniture stuck to the ceiling. It does make you feel a little motion sick but thats part of the fun.

 .

. 

DAY 3 – TARTU/TALLINN

We really enjoyed our time in Tallinn – it was after a day of walking around Estonia’s parks (Lahemaa and Lake Endla) so we were quite tired but Tallinn was worth the effort to walk around. It was a shame that the temperature dropped a little but it only rained once we had gone inside for dinner at Kompressor (a great pancake place). We did things in Tallinn in the evening once we had arrived and the next morning – you could definitely spend a lot more time here than we did. 

Accommodation: It cost us £56 between us to stay at Roosikranti apartment near the old town and it worked out well for us. It had underground parking and was quite close to everything we needed.

Things we did:

Parks – Lahemaa, Lake Endla and Jagala. I’ve given a proper run down of the three amazing places in the longer, dedicated blog post but in short, they are all on the way to Tallinn from Tartu, so if you have a car its easy to stop at all three. Lahemaa and Lake Endla have boardwalks through the bogs which are magical. Best of all, they’re all free!

Old Town Tallinn – a million and one buildings, churches and streets to see. We arrived too late to go inside any of them but still really enjoyed what we did manage to get a glimpse of.

Kerhwieder Kohvicum cafe – this isn’t a huge tourist destination, its a cafe that serves hot drinks as well as alcohol, with a really nice interior and good atmosphere that is worth stopping by.

 .

.

DAY 4 – TALLINN/PARNU

The places we visited on the second morning were slightly out of the city, so we drove there before continuing on to Parnu. Parnu is a summer beach resort and we weren’t there in quite the right weather for that (it was literally snowing) but we didn’t mind that because we had booked ourselves into one of Parnu’s many spa hotels. 

Accommodation: The Estonia Resort Hotel and Spa cost £78 between us for one night, which may seem like a lot more than we had been spending previously (I mean, it was) but remember this included breakfast and spa access. Its a well put together place with a good breakfast and free parking. The hotel is quite large – there are two sides to the hotel, we had to walk across the internal bridge to get to the spa but this was no issue.

Things we did: 

KUMU – an amazing art gallery within the most incredible building. Its only 10 euros for a ticket and well worth it (they do also do one euro days and free days but I didn’t attend one of them – the list of those days is here). We went first thing in the morning and it was practically empty, which, for such a large building was a bit eerie at times. Imagine being in an empty Tate Modern.

Kadriorg Art Museum/Palace – Its €6.50 entry to this former palace, now art museum. As well as a collection of art, it has beautiful rooms and gardens. The gardens were a bit dilapidated when we were there but it was quite cold, I imagine its better in summer.

Spa – I’ve been to a few spas in my life but not loads. This was Hamilton’s first experience aside from the small hotel spa at the first hotel in Riga. It has a swimming pool, indoor and outdoor jacuzzis, saunas of varying heats and different types of steam rooms. It has a relaxed atmosphere and isn’t too uptight/serious. Its also very kid friendly, which may or may not be what you’re looking for.

 .

 .

DAY 5 – PARNU/RIGA

Accommodation: You may have noticed we upped the price for our last hotel, well we decided to go all out for our final night and I’m so glad we did. We stayed at the five star Grand Poet by Semarah which cost us £89 for the night (between us). This meant it cost £45 each to stay in a five star hotel in a European city on a saturday night. It had amazing breakfast and a really nice swimming pool/spa area. Could not recommend this place more.

Things we did:

House of the Blackheads – Riga’s eiffel tower. You can get a tour and go inside but we were impressed enough by the outside not to be upset that we were there too late for one. Of course, free to look at!

Rooftop Bar – the original rooftop bar we wanted to go to was closed but the Radisson Blu still has a really nice one that’s worth a visit. Free to go inside!

 .

 .

DAY 6 – RIGA

This was the day we flew home, so I had a wander round the city (which was very pleasant) and got some souvenirs – knitwear and black balsam, to be precise! Then went to the airport (bus/taxi are the easiest options. A bus is €2 and a taxi is around €15.)

OVERVIEW | BALTIC ROAD TRIP In April of this year, my friend Hamilton and I went on a road trip around Latvia and Estonia (well one place in Latvia and a bunch of places in Estonia).

[cinematicquack]

Film Genre - ‘Saving Throws’ Self-Reflection

‘Saving Throws’ was a screenplay idea I had had for a while. Dungeons & Dragons is something which means a lot to me as I used to play a lot with my mum and my friends, so I really wanted to make a film about it at some point. It just so happened that my idea was chosen for this film!

The writing process began by actually playing a small D&D game by myself, trying to figure out an idea as to what would happen within the film. My script originally had more action, at one-point Nara would attempt to cast a spell and fail. However, I realised that within the confines of the brief and pandemic, the simpler the on-screen action is, the easier it would be to film and edit; so, I cut this out. Another thing in my first few drafts was two separate locations. The second scene was meant to take place within a nerdy bedroom. I was also meant to have multiple fantasy characters, seen from a distance through the trees, being killed. However, both of these things also went against the brief, so were cut from the final script. Part of my process was to draw some character art, starting off with some doodles, then making a more detailed sketch. This let me envision the look of the character and costume.

As producer and writer, I worked closely with Laura (the director) and Euan (the DoP) to ensure we would be able to pull-off this ambitious fantasy film. Both of them were super invested, constantly messaging me to ask questions about D&D to make sure they were creating a plan that would be true to the game. The three of us also went on a couple location recces, practicing blocking and shot composition. They also let me give input on the shots I had envisioned whilst writing (which was very kind of them). I also made several logistical documents to ensure that everyone knew the plan for the shoot days.

The shoot overall was a bit rushed, especially on the first day. We really wanted to get all of the first scene done as it is more complicated, and it requires prosthetic make-up and more costume.  This scene was to be shot during an overcast afternoon, then made darker in the colour grade to portray dusk. Consequently, this meant that we needed to shoot fast, and we lost light very fast. However, we managed to get all the Nara shots done, apart from 3. Fortunately, we did not need anything above the shoulder for these shots as they were all close-ups of feet, hands and running shots. The second day was harder in terms of set-up as we needed to carry a desk, chair, and lighting into the woods. We also had a lot more time for shooting as the second scene was to be shot at dusk so that there is little light. But we managed! Despite the November frost which blew in at 7pm, I survived!!

When it came to the edit, Euan (the absolute champ) did all the hard work. However, I made sure that the rest of us contributed as much as possible to aid him in his work. Similarly to the sound project, I made a list of all the required sounds we needed to source, and assigned members of the group. Robyn and I sourced a lot of Orc-related sounds, like gorillas and dog barks that could be pitched in edit. I found various battle noises as well as sourced all the fantasy forest ambience. I also arranged for Peter, myself, Laura, and Euan to have a Zoom call to record his lines. Euan realised whilst editing that we were missing a crucial shot, where Nara runs back to the tree after stepping on a twig. He decided to let us know this at 11pm, which was not the kind of pre-sleeping message I needed because I did then end up staying awake all night in panic. However, Euan, the legend he is, managed to cobble together a bit more of an artistic, relational style editing. He interspliced shots of the woods with close-ups of Nara running. I think it works! I think that our mistake on set actually allowed us to be a lot more creative with the editing approach we took. Euan set up a Discord server where he could stream his screen, this allowed us to drop-in when we could to give feedback and watch the film develop throughout post-production. Unfortunately, Euan left the sound edit quite late, this meant we couldn’t have our usual group feedback. I think that if we had had more time, we could’ve developed the soundtrack more.

Overall, I’m happy with how the film came out. I think that there are a couple of edits that are a bit clunky and jarring. This is the result of missing crucial shots whilst shooting, which could have been avoided if I wasn’t the actor. I do feel annoyed at myself over the acting, as I felt I could’ve given a better performance. However, it was Laura’s first time directing so I was also trying to produce and keep track of what we were filming to support her. I think, if Covid restrictions were less tight, we could’ve gotten an actor, that way I could have been more hands-on as a producer. Despite this, I do really like the more choppy, creative style of editing Euan went with. It helps with the runtime and creates a sense of disorientation that we all wanted. I think the sound design could definitely be improved. A key part of the narrative is the Orc, and I think there needs to be more growls and snarls added throughout the film to establish the beast that’s chasing Nara. I also think that the distant battle sounds needed to be louder to help the audience understand what Nara is hearing, as right now, it is pretty ambiguous. However, I really enjoyed what Euan managed to create, especially all by himself. Do not worry, I did reward him with a nice bottle of wine for all his hard work!

I was so surprised by how the final crit went. I think it’s my awful brain telling me everyone will hate it that caused me so much anxiety before the crit. Everyone was so kind and constructive in their criticism, but the overall consensus was that ‘Saving Throws’ was pretty good. First off, the peer feedback. I want to especially note Peter’s comment about my commitment to the role by “dying the mullet”, thankyou peter for enabling my hair dye addiction. Many people got strong Twilight vibes from the colour grade and quick panning shots of Nara running. The other strong reference was Stranger Things from the red lighting and nerdy-coming-of-age narrative. These were both references we talked about as a group, so I’m glad they came through in the final film. A criticism which I want to work on, is that people felt there should be more sound design around the laptop, more voices of Lainey’s friends coming through throughout the conversation. I think this would make it more realistic and would make the reactions of the friends flow better in the scene. Quite hilariously, a debate happened between a few people in the class about costume. Some wanted more fantastical costume, like that of Lord of the Rings. Others liked the simplistic costume I cobbled together as they felt it made the transition from fantasy to real-world easier for the viewers. Personally, if I had had more time, I would’ve liked to make something a bit more fantastical (as seen in my more detailed sketch). I kind of got landed with all the production design last minute, so I threw together something which would work. However, if I ever revisit this idea, I would like to add more mythical costume elements.

The feedback from Zoe and David was, as always, supportive and constructive. Zoe used the words “very enchanting”, which made me so relieved that we hit the mark on the fantasy genre. She had some great notes of sound design. She also felt that the distant battle sounds could’ve been pushed more, had more levels and different noises. She also suggested that we add bass notes to the soundtrack, in particular, during the battle scene, we should build this bass note, then cut it as the twig snaps. If we revisit the film, I definitely want to add more musical elements to help drive the narrative. David was super impressed with the many genres we managed to encompass in the film (he mentioned drama, comedy, fantasy and coming of age). He too wanted more sound effects, both the Orc sounds, the environment sounds, and battle sounds; but also the second scene, where he felt there should be more sound effects from the laptop call. He noted the jarring cut at 0:47ish, explaining that it is jarring due to the fact everything else is edited together so well, that it jumps out as wrong.

From producing this film I have learned to manage my time better. I did manage my own time, but I realised that, as producer, I should be managing everyone else’s time on set better (I know I was acting on set so it was very difficult). I also think I should try not to take on as much work as I did this module, as even on this last film I producer, wrote, acted, location scouted, sound sourced and did all production design for this film, and I found I was extremely overwhelmed. Yet I still felt I wasn’t doing enough to help out Euan, so overall I was just a bit of a mess, and I feel this affected my group a lot in post-production. I also learnt a lot this term for working within the pandemic, which is a great experience to have (not a great experience in terms of a viral pandemic, but in terms of knowing how to work on and off set within the confines of this situation). I surprisingly enjoyed the strict constraints we had to work within, both the 3-page script and 3 minutes maximum, as it gave me the experience of being critical of my work to know what to cut. But it also allowed me to be more creative, as I wanted to tell a full story within these confines, and my group managed to do just that!

I loved this module, as I was able to explore genre a lot more than I have been able to in the past. I like having genre as something to refer to whilst making a film, both in conventions but also breaking those conventions. I’ve found myself now writing some scripts in my spare time which came about through my exploration of genre this term.

password: savingthrows.

I will also be posting a blog post with an updated edit that Euan intends to do.

[imjustthemechanic]

The Stone Knight

Part 1/? - Two Statues Part 2/? - A Curious Interview Part 3/? - John Doe Part 4/? - Escape Attempt Part 5/? - Making the News Part 6/? - Fallout Part 7/? - More Impossible Part 8/? - The Shield Thieves Part 9/? - Reality Sinks In Part 10/? - Preparing a Quest Part 11/? - The Marvelous History of Sir Stephen Part 12/? - Uninvited Guests Part 13/? - So That’s What It Does Part 14/? - The What and the Where Part 15/? - Gearing Up Part 16/? - Just Passing Through Part 17/? - Dinner with Druids Part 18/? - Kracness Henge Part 19/? - A Task Interrupted Part 20/? - The Red Death Part 21/? - Aphelion Part 22/? - The Stone Giants Part 23/? - Nat the Giant Killer Part 24/? - An Interrogation Part 25/? - Guilt Part 26/? - Rushman’s Brilliant Idea Part 27/? - Hunter in Hiding Part 28/? - Ridiculous Part 29/? - The Guy from Barton Part 30/? - Sherwood Forest Part 31/? - Buckeye’s Fall Part 32/? - Robin Hood Part 33/? - Fantasies and Consequences Part 34/? - Swords of Damocles Part 35/? - The Road to London Part 36/? - View from the Top Part 37/? - Storming the Castle

Don’t try this at home.

           Shortly after midnight, the group packed up their equipment as if they were hikers, and set out for the Tower.  They took a taxi to Southwark, but had it drop them off at the Jubilee Gardens so the driver wouldn’t be able to say he took them to the Tower.  From there it was a forty-minute walk to the Tower Bridge, but they made it there in respectable anonymity.  People in London were used to backpackers and travelers, and nobody took them for anything else.

           They crossed the Bridge, stopping at the North Tower, where the visitor’s entrance was.  This was closed for the evening, but Nat slipped around to the opposite side where there was an employee entrance and access to the hydraulic machinery that raised and lowered the bridge deck.  There she picked the lock on the door, and waved to Allen to join her. Together, they began climbing a flight of metal stairs that led up to the observation decks.

           “You said if you guys get caught, you just carry on,” Allen said.  “What happens if I get caught?”

           “Pretend you were in the bathroom or something when the place shut down, and you’ve been waiting for somebody to find you,” Nat suggested.

           “Then they’ll throw me out,” he said.  “What’ll that mean for you guys?”

           “It’ll mean we carry on as best we can,” Nat told him. “Like I said, the most important job is getting the Grail out.  If anything happens to you, text me, and then go back to the hostel and wait for us.  We’ll come back for you if we can, and if we can’t, I’ll try to find an opportunity to let you know.”

           They reached the top, and Nat picked another lock to get them into the visitors’ area.  The overhead walkways had exhibits on the history of London and the construction and working of the bridge.  The interior lights had been turned off for the night, but the exterior ones were shining brightly, providing plenty of light for Nat to disarm an emergency exit and get them out to the exterior catwalk.

           “It’s cold out here!” Allen protested.

           “Yes, but if you’re indoors you’ll have glare off the windows, and you’ll have fewer options to change position if you need a different angle,” Nat pointed out.  She found a place with a good view of the Tower grounds, and waved him over. “If you need to hide, you can crouch in one of the shadowy spots around the stonework,” she said.  “If a guard comes along, pretend you got locked out.”

           Allen nodded.  He hung the binoculars she’d given him around his neck and checked the buckle with shaking hands.

           “Are you okay?” asked Nat.

           “Yeah,” he said.  “Yeah, uh… you said you’d come back for me if you can.  What are the odds of that, do you think?  Even if you do get the Grail, you might not be able to stop for me.”

           That was true – she didn’t want to leave him stranded.  “Let me give you a credit card number,” she said, opening her wallet to fish out the card she’d written it down on, but Allen reached out to stop her.  She looked up at him, puzzled.  “What?” she asked.

           “Can I be a silly old man for a moment?” he asked.

           “Uh… sure?” said Nat uncertainly.

           He pulled her in and hugged her.

           Natasha couldn’t remember ever having a hug like the one he now gave her.  Sharon had hugged her on Flotta, but that had been gentle sympathy.  Allen clung to her as if he feared somebody would come and drag her out of his arms, as if she were the most precious thing he could possibly imagine.  Nobody had ever loved Nat enough to hold her like that.  Sometimes she doubted anybody had ever loved her at all.  Even now, Allen Rushman only loved her because of a lie.

           But this was what he needed right now – some semblance of the daughter he’d come to see.  She let her purse drop and put her arms around him, burying her face in his shoulder.

           “I love you, Ginger Snap,” he murmured.

           Nat swallowed hard.  “I love you, too, Dad,” she said, because that was what he needed to hear.

           “Have fun storming the castle,” he said, without letting go.

           She knew exactly what the reply to that needed to be.  “You think it’ll work?”

           “It’d take a miracle,” said Allen, and kissed her cheek.

           Natasha kept her head down as they finally parted, and didn’t look back as she went back inside to descend to the street level. What she’d just done had doubtless made Allen Rushman feel better, but Nat was already regretting it deeply, and she didn’t even know why.  It couldn’t just be that she’d lied to him, because he knew perfectly well that she was lying.  He’d asked for an indulgence, something to make him feel a little more able to cope with the lonely vigil ahead of him, and she’d given it to him.  Surely that wasn’t a moral problem, and even if it were, the fact that they were saving the world ought to placate Natasha’s misdirected conscience.

           Maybe it was the fear that after they came back for him – assuming they were able to – he might expect her to continue the charade. Maybe it was the fear that they wouldn’t be able to come back for him, and the last thing she’d ever said to him would be a lie.  Maybe it was just that she didn’t actually want or need a father.

           What she did know was that she couldn’t allow it to prey on her mind right now.  She had to focus.  That was a good alternate way of dealing with ugly truths – you could always just ignore them.

           “Everybody ready?” she asked, when she re-joined the others at the bottom.

           There were general sounds of agreement, so they got started.

           Below the Tower Bridge, they scaled the outer wall of the castle.  Even this late at night there was vehicle and foot traffic on the streets of London, but the gap between the highway and the building hid them effectively, and they climbed unseen to the crenellated top of the Develin Tower.  From there they got to the roof of the Workshops as planned, and crouched there to take stock of the next set of obstacles.  Directly below them was a cobblestone street in front of the buildings, and beyond that a narrow lawn, with the ruins of the Wardrobe Tower and the foundation of the Roman Wall of Londinium visible in it.  Displayed in various places was an art exhibit – life-sized sculptures of animals made out of layers and layers of chicken wire. Most of these were ordinary animals such as bears, lions, and a gorilla, but there was also a sabre-toothed tiger and a beautifully sinuous Chinese dragon.

In the middle was the White Tower, with the Chapel Apse almost directly in front of them.  They couldn’t go in that way, though – the entrance was around the other side of the building, and as Natasha had expected, the place was well-guarded at night.  The decorative Yeomen were gone, and in their place were proper armed security guards in bullet-proof vests.  Natasha counted them as they made their rounds, then nodded to Robin Hood.

           He stood up, fitted an arrow to his bow, and released it with a soft thwock of recoiling wood and a whistle of wind over the fletching.  For a moment Natasha was sure he’d aimed too high, but then gravity took over, and the missile’s arching path took it right through a window in the Royal Mint on the far side of the Tower complex.  An alarm began to blare.

           Nat smiled as the guards moved in response, some taking up cover positions while others ran to investigate the disturbance. She hadn’t been able to shoot first on Flotta because the sound of gunshots would have given away their position, but they didn’t have that problem now – arrows were all but silent.

           “Bullseye!” Nat whispered, giving Robin a thumbs-up.

           “I told you, I’m the best,” he whispered back.

           In Nat’s pocket, her phone vibrated.  Allen was letting her know what he could see.

           One of the guards, a woman, took up position almost directly beneath their hiding place, with a gun in her hands.  Robin nocked another arrow, but Nat held up a hand to stop him, and somersaulted down, landing like a cat directly behind the guard. Before the other woman knew what was happening, Nat had a hand over her mouth and took the gun from her, then hit her behind the ear with it.  She’d knocked Robin Hood out the other day because she’d hit him where she hadn’t meant to.  Now she hit the guard exactly where she meant to, and lowered her unconscious body gently to the cobblestones.

           Nat motioned to the others, and they dropped a rope and slid down it one by one.  Together, they scurried across the cobbled courtyard to hide among the ruins of the Wardrobe Tower, where they crouched while another guard passed by. This one noticed his fallen colleague and ran to check on her.  Finding her unconscious, he called for help.

           Crouching among the chicken-wire lions and in the shadow of the Chapel apse, the group of intruders went unnoticed while the guards held a brief conversation and then split up and spread out to look around. Another distraction was now necessary. Nat signaled to Robin, who quickly stood up, loosed an arrow, and crouched down again in one smooth, swift motion that required only seconds.  Again, the arrow arced up before coming back down, using gravity to accelerate it right through a window in the corner of the Waterloo Block.  Another alarm began to ring, and the guards changed their plans at once.  The man who’d found the unconscious one dragged her into the Workshop building, while the rest ran for the location of the alarm.

           The Jewel House was in the Waterloo Block. The guards thought somebody was trying to steal the Crown Jewels.

           With all attention now focused there, Natasha and the rest slipped around the other side of the building, to where a flight of modern metal stairs led up to the original entrance at the second storey level. Sure enough, there was a contractor’s lock on the door.  She opened that easily and got out the key.  Once they were inside, a security system began beeping to let them know they had only a few seconds to deactivate it before it summoned the police.  Nat deftly took it apart and shut it down with time to spare.

           “You know, even if we hadn’t already committed thirty-one crimes this week, after seeing you do that I might have to arrest you on general principle,” Sharon observed.

           “I’d like to see a jail cell that could hold me,” said Nat.

           “Good point,” Sharon nodded.

           “Thirty-one?” asked Sam.  “That’s very specific.”

           “I’ve been counting,” Sharon told him.

           Nat shut the door behind them and let it lock. When the guards realized there was nobody in the Jewel House and resumed their search, they’d be unlikely to notice it had ever been opened and would have to unlock it themselves in order to search the building.

           The main hall of the White Tower was where the Royal Armories were, a museum displaying medieval and modern armor and weaponry.  Much of this had been moved into another part of the Tower so the public could still visit it during the restoration work, but other objects had been left behind, in their display cases or with cloths draped over them.  Everybody passed those by and went down the stairs to the basement.

           This was not lit, so Nat turned on her LED flashlight and looked around.  When the Tower was open, this part displayed instruments of torture, but now these macabre displays too were packed away and covered with drop cloths.  The walls here were stone and mortar with no plaster on them, probably not so much because it was historically accurate than simply to enhance the impression of being in a dungeon.  The ceilings were barrel-vaulted to take the weight of the masonry above.  After several weeks without visitors, a layer of dust had accumulated on the horizontal surfaces.

           At the end of the small hall was the basement of the chapel.  This had the same shape as the room above it – a long rectangle with a semi-circle apse at one end.  There was only one tiny window high in the far wall, but that let in a surprisingly bright stream of light from a lamp just outside it.  The floor was simple stone tiles, uncovered by early restoration work in the eighteenth century.  Thank heavens they hadn’t dug any deeper.

           The archaeologist in Nat was absolutely appalled by what she was now thinking.  That stone floor had been there for a thousand years.  Digging it up was like walking into the Museum of Natural History in New York and pushing over the Aztec Calendar Stone to let it smash on the floor.  Was Natasha, who’d chosen a profession dedicated to preserving and learning from the past, really going to be the one who did this terrible thing?

           Yes.  Yes, she was. Somebody had to.

           Sam took off his backpack and unzipped it to start taking tools out.  “Where do we dig first?” he asked.

           “Directly under the altar, I think,” said Nat. That would be the most holy place in a chapel.  “But put up the wards first – you guys do that, while I do this.”  She got a digital camera out of her bag, turned the flash off and the shutter speed way down, and began taking pictures.

           “What are you doing?” asked Robin.

           “I am documenting the initial condition of the site,” Nat replied.  “Because I’m a god-damned archaeologist.”