#because i was so worried they'd be like the groups i knew online

[artemis32]

yandere Tim Drake i

this man has the sluttiest undercut I've ever seen - also, this is shit, but you pretend to love it, okay? Okay.

dc masterlist

Thinking about Tim Drake, who, in all his time as Red Robin, has never once caught a break.

He's always busy, always out on patrol, busting drug rings or trafficking schemes, always locked up in a dark, soulless room doing research for Bruce, always doing something.

So, one day, when he finds a small slice of heaven, a refuge from the never ending list of responsibilities he has to see to, he's sure to grab it with both hands and keep it close to his chest.

He, somewhat guiltily, doesn't tell anyone about it. It feels like something just for him - a space for him to relax, where he doesn't have to pretend he has his whole life together.

Maybe it's a dusty old library hidden between the high-rises of Gotham Central, maybe it's a dingy cybercafe he stumbled upon after a long night of patrol. Or perhaps it's not even a physical place - maybe it's an online forum or group chat of some kind.

No matter what it might've been, it had grown to be a safe haven. And it only becomes better when, one stupidly sweltering summer afternoon, you slip in.

Sweet, oblivious you.

God, he loved you. You were everything he wanted to be. Free of all worry and hardship, at least in his eyes. You were innocent and so sickly sweet. He loved everything about you. From the way your eyes sparkled when you got excited, and the animated way you spoke, using your hands to make wide, sweeping gestures, to the tired scowl that pinched your mouth and brow after a long day.

The clothes you wore, the way you smelled, the beautiful, soft glow of your skin, he loved it all.

****

He loved you.

Only, you didn't exactly know he existed. And he never actually, you know, spoke to you. But that didn't matter! No, not at all, not when he had enough love for the both of you.

He knew everything about you.

Where you lived, how old you were, your likes and dislikes, every dirty little secret you thought you could hide away, things you thought were kept concealed in the corners of your mind.

He knew, and he loved you regardless. Not in spite of them, but rather, because of them. He loved that you were so flawed, so imperfect, and yet still so innocent to your core. He felt the deep seated need to keep you that way, to maintain that innocence and shield it from the horrors of Gotham, of the world.

That was why he watched over you, every hour of every day.

Did he think it was wrong, or creepy? Yeah, a bit, but he didn't really care to change. How bad could his actions really be, if they were keeping you safe?

So what if hacking all your devices and bugging your house wasn't legal? He was a vigilante, he was just doing his job. So what if he put a tracker in every pair of shoes you owned? He just needed to keep track of your movements, make sure you weren't wandering off anywhere too dangerous.

More than a few times, he'd followed you at night, watching from above as you ambled through the streets of Gotham, completely oblivious to how vulnerable you were. Really, how did you manage to survive this long without him watching over you? Do you even know how many robberies and assaults he'd saved you from before they'd happened?

He held off on actually speaking to you, as Tim Drake or Red Robin. Maybe it was nerves, or fear, or something beyond the words he had to communicate what he felt for you. Regardless, he was content watching you from the side lines.

For now.

****

After a while of watching from a distance, he'd decided he needed a bit more than just the sight of you. That's how he ended up donning his Red Robin costume and letting himself into your apartment one night to watch over you as you slept.

It had quickly become an admittedly bad habit, one that he didn't bother trying to correct.

Watching you calmed something within him, something he hadn't even known was there. He'd started including your small apartment on his patrols, at least three times a week, and it's become the highlight of his day.

Then, one day, months after this little song and game of his started, he decided enough was enough. Why was he being so weird and pathetic about it? He was a hero. He was smart, and attractive (or at least, that's what his mother used to say), and he was rich. He was the whole package. What more could someone ask for?

So, he bit the bullet and talked to you. Or, he would have, if you'd actually, you know, shown up. But you didn't. And that was fine! Totally, 100% fine! It wasn't like he felt disappointed or angry or anything. He'd just try again another time.

Only... in the months that he'd known you, his patience had dwindled to a near trickle, and he realised he couldn't wait. And so, he made probably the dumbest, most rookie mistake of his vigilante career.

He snuck into your apartment and, naturally, as one does, revealed himself to you. In full costume, mask and all. Well, the mask had come off about ten minutes into his fanatical rant, but-

Wait, why were you looking at him like that?

No, no, don't- don't back away. Hey, why were you reaching for your phone? Who were you calling?

The police? No, no, no, no, no- This isn't how it was supposed to go, damnit!

****

Now, watching you sleep in his bed, so cosy and soft, as if you belonged there (you did belong there), he chides himself for not doing this sooner.

What was he so scared of? Sure, you'd seemed a bit overwhelmed when he'd dropped onto your balcony and stepped into your apartment, but it was probably just sheer joy that had you screaming like that.

And, well, sure, you'd rambled on about him watching you for months prior - which he had - but for you to call it 'stalking' seemed like a bit of an over exaggeration.

Despite all that, he knew - knew - that you'd be so happy when you woke up. As happy as you made him. Because despite everything going on in his life - his struggles as Robin, with Batman and Damian, with Stephanie and Connor, and leading the Young Justice team - despite all that, he had you.

And just the thought of you alone brightened his day.

Now? Having you here, with him, for the foreseeable future?

That alone made whatever anger or fear you may have towards him worth it.

And, you know, they did say love blinds people. So maybe you were right about all that (Doubtful. He was smart. He was also right about all this).

But it didn't really matter. Not now, not when you were finally his.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for accidentally outing my fiance?

I (27F) am engaged to a 24M guy. He is trans, but he doesn't identify as trans anymore - he's post-everything, passes 100%, lives stealth/as a cis man, and no one who didn't know him pre-transition knows him as anything but a cis man. I know keeping that up is very important to him, we've had a lot of conversations about how happy he is just being seen as cis and being able to pass. I know getting outed and 'found out' is also a big worry of his, for example for our upcoming wedding he's rushing around trying to make it clear to his family that they shouldn't mention him being trans or refer to him as she/her at our wedding because he has so many friends coming who don't know he's trans. It's not that he doesn't trust them or he's ashamed of being trans or anything, he's very supportive of his trans friends, but he just doesn't publicly live as trans.

We're in a big Discord server of friends that have been quite close for about a year now, enough that we've met multiple of them in person and two of them are going to be in his wedding party as sort of 'best man' equivalents (we're not really sticking to bridesmaid best man stuff just our mixed gender friends). He has kept his Facebook very private for as long as I've known him, the only people on there are IRL friends and family because he has in the past posted trans stuff on there, like transition updates, it still has old pictures of him pre-T or in early transition, etc. I knew he didn't want this found. He also hadn't told any of this group aside from the people he was especially close with and had invited to the wedding his surname and location in case they looked him up and found something.

People in the server were sharing their Facebook profiles and I shared mine so people could add me. My fiance messaged me right after pointing out that me sharing mine would dox him as I had him in my relationship status and friends list, but I unfortunately didn't see this message for a while as I was distracted and doing other things. By the time I saw, everyone in the group had already clicked and gone through my profile and found his.

He tried to go through and speed-delete everything he could find that was public that mentioned him being trans or showed him pre-transition, any comments from family referring to it, etc but pictures that were set to friends only were still popping up in previews on the side and some of his family have public profiles that show cover images with him pre-T and things like that.

Our friends were making jokes about finally knowing his surname, going through his whole account down to the time it was first made back in 2018, commenting on old statuses of his, so they definitely saw his profile and went through all of it. He was panicking because he had no way of knowing if they'd seen that he's trans or not and got super upset and freaked out about the possibility, and he couldn't ask without outing himself or making them suspicious.

I apologized and deleted the link but obviously by then it was too late.

I do think it's not a huge deal as much as he thinks because I know our friends would be supportive and wouldn't think of him differently, but I know it was still important to him. I'm not sure they did see because some of our friends are the type to have just blurted out "You're trans?!" in the server without thinking about it (not because they're malicious or judging it, but some of them aren't as online and don't really know how to talk about it sensitively if that makes sense) and they didn't say anything. However he thinks they did because they were talking about statuses older than the ones he managed to get to deleting in time.

Like I said i did apologize but I feel like he's still upset with me for not thinking before sending my profile. On top of that I have kind of a habit of doing things impulsively and without thinking (I have bpd and bipolar) and not always taking into account how it will affect him or what consequences it will have,which I've been working on for years but I worry this is just adding to that which I know already wears on him.

What are these acronyms?

[ltleflrt]

hope you're liking the philippines :D haven't been back since I moved to the US when I was 13 so I don't remember much anymore but we have The Filipino Channel on tv so I can still see how it looks like there now... some of my mom's customers will be going back there to visit their family and they said that the weather there is too hot already

excited to read more about your trip!

I loved what I was able to see in the week that I was there. I got home Saturday 😊

Unfortunately I got sick 2 days into the trip, so I spent a lot of my free time sleeping. Most of my adventures consisted of a couple of visits to the Mega Mall, and watching the absolutely insane traffic on the way to and from the office. I was there for work only, but I met a lot of really nice people, and sang some karaoke despite my sore throat. No one seemed worried they'd catch my plague, so I hope they're all ok 😅

I'll probably get to visit again in 6 months to a year, and hopefully it'll be one of the coveted 2 week trips so that I can do some touristy stuff with my new friends. They were all very sad they couldn't take me to the beach lol

I've never met a group of people more eager to be friends. Granted, I knew them all from online interactions because I've been working with them since August, but I feel like they've officially adopted me 💜

[watchoutforthefanfics]

achievement unlocked 🔓 (part twelve) || Streamer AU! Reddie (IT)

Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11

AVAILABLE ON AO3

Inspiration: this prompt + BIRDS OF A FEATHER by Billie Eilish

Summary: Richie liked to play video games, and by some stroke of luck, it became his job. Being primarily known as Trashmouth on stream, he found his own little group of streamer friends and they became intertwined: The Losers Club. It never did feel quite complete, though. Well, until, he got his very own backseat gamer in chat.

TWs: innuendos, lots of talk of sex (it's Richie), cursing, brief mention of toxic relationships, and shameless flirting.

[[A/N: Finally time for the fucking prompt !!! Everyone shout hooray!!! I did change it a little though. There's a lot of fucking Minecraft in this. Just fyi. Anyway, I based how they play on how my siblings and I did. Enjoy :))]]

big.bill ✔️

What about Minecraft?

Richie paused, pressing his lips together.

They'd all been debating a game to stream together since Eddie had asked to play with him (and the Losers). Most of the good ones were limited to like 4, so it was actually pretty fucking hard. Every other day, someone would suggest one, and they'd all debate it. There was nothing that quite clicked yet.

Well, until now.

benny.boy.official ✔️

I've got it on both pc and console

he'd just have to make an account

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

that would make my chat so fucking happy

they have been asking for it for like a month

stan.the.man ✔️

Why haven't you played it then?

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

not in my minecraft phase tbh

it happens like once a year

mike.me.up ✔️

I've seen reels about that

Is that a universal experience ?

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

I think so

reddy.bevvy ✔️

no it's true mine was like last month

lasted 4 months

and then poof

Richie was about to text again, but somebody cut him off.

e.kaspbrak

I've played it like once. Ever.

stan.the.man ✔️

It's honestly pretty easy.

You don't have to know the more complicated stuff. Just the basics.

benny.boy.official ✔️

I can teach you Eddie ☺️

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

see eds don't worry ur pretty lil head about it

we got u

e.kaspbrak

Shut the fuck up, asshole.

And thanks, Ben.

Richie laughed, he really fucking loved him. And his weird ass responses to him. Like who responds so aggressively to someone they like, that they're dating. Richie digs it, so who gives a fuck, honestly-

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

isn't he just so sweet guys

stan.the.man ✔️

You need to be humbled anyway, Rich.

e.kaspbrak

@/stan.the.man You too.

Richie laughed again, taking a moment to absorb it all. His angry little Eds. He knew he was totally 100% serious too, it was nice in a weird sort of way.

mike.me.up ✔️

ooh, you're in trouble~

reddy.bevvy ✔️

that's right Eddie, stick up for your man 😤😤😤

benny.boy.official ✔️

uh oh

big.bill ✔️

Wow.

stan.the.man ✔️

I respect that, Eddie.

Did we decide on Minecraft?

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

eds ?

There was a pause, and Richie mulled over the idea. All of them playing Minecraft. The Losers had done it before, many times, actually. It was a mix of things, survival, creative, and even like the online games (Richie remembers being particularly competitive). It would be different now, with Eddie.

Maybe he could build them both a house, and they could share it-

e.kaspbrak

Yeah, let's do it.

The stream was in a few days, they'd all kind of correlated depending on their schedules, and it all lined up. Which was very responsible of them, so, he was proud of himself. (A win is a win, as they say.) He was troubleshooting Minecraft actually, making sure there were no big ass updates (because there always were) and testing it to make sure it would run properly later.

Richie had also offered to buy an online realm so they could all play together wherever the fuck they were. And so everyone could stream playing it later without someone needing to be there. Any way to get more content, am I right? It was all going pretty good, honestly-

Bzzt, bzzt.

He blinked, moving to his phone (which was vibrating). Grabbing it swiftly, he eyed the reason.

e.kaspbrak is calling

Richie didn't hesitate a moment, smiling big and bright.

"Hey Eddie baby," he cheered, grinning -spinning away from his computer, to give him his undivided attention (like he always did).

"Are you busy?" He asked (like it would matter if he was).

"Never too much for you, Eds," Richie replied with ease, "-Whatcha need?"

"I just-" Eddie started, voice cutting off for a second, "-The stream is stressing me the fuck out."

Richie frowned, "Why?"

"I'm just so fucking nervous," Eddie rush out in a breath, "-What if I can't fucking talk? What's the whole point?"

"Eds, if you can't do it," Richie explained, "-you can't do it. Everybody would understand."

"I know that," Eddie sighed out, speaking faster (Richie could tell he was working himself up), "-but I want to, I do-"

"Okay, okay," Richie relented, softly, "-I hear you."

He could hear Eddie let out a heavy breath, but it was slow. Slower than before, Richie noted it. I can work with this-

"Let's-" Richie started, before pressing his lips together and thinking, "-I can tell when you're working yourself up, Eds, so... if I hear it, I will get you off the stream. Even if it's just for a second."

"You'd do that?"

"Of course, Eds," Richie spoke like it was obvious (which it was), "-I fucking love you. I'm going to help you through shit. Obviously."

Eddie stayed silent. Richie couldn't tell if it was good or bad, so he went with his failsafe-

"You forget I'm your boyfriend?" Richie laughed, "-I know I'm a shithead but-"

"Shut up, asshole," Eddie started to laugh too (Richie was happy with that), "-you're such a dick."

They laughed together for a second, and it stirred into Richie's chest like it always did. He hoped it would feel the same every time, and he was pretty sure it would. It made something more genuine slip from him.

"I'm gonna take care of you, Eds," Richie offered, softly. As genuine as he figured he could ever be, "-okay?"

There was a silence then, a comfortable one. He didn't think it'd ever be uncomfortable with Eddie. He and Eddie just fucking... worked. It rattled through his bones sometimes. He felt like he'd known him his whole life.

"Yeah," Eddie spoke, quietly, "-I know."

"Wow, did you just Han Solo me?" Richie laughed out, playfully.

"Well," he could almost hear Eddie's face scrunch up in frustration, "-what the fuck did you want me to say? Fucking thank you-"

"Oh, I'll take care of you too," Richie listed off, "-Richie, you're the best boyfriend ever-"

"You are such an asshole," Eddie was laughing again and Richie only grinned wider, "-It's common sense for boyfriends to take care of each other, dipshit-"

"Hey," Richie interrupted, playfully (a jab at himself really), "-not in all relationships, Spaghetti."

It was silent for a second, and Richie was a little nervous that he'd crossed some sort of line. Eddie was fiercely protective, even if it was Richie shitting on himself-

"I swear to fucking god, I wish I could beat the shit out of your exes."

Richie snorted, bursting into laughter, "I'm starting to think you're serious, Eds."

"Richie," Eddie leveled, "-I am dead fucking serious."

Richie's laughter cut short, and he pressed his lips together, "You... Seriously?"

Eddie responded, plainly, "I harassed your ex into blocking me on Instagram, dipshit."

"Well, yeah, but-"

"No buts," Eddie interrupted, "-If I wouldn't catch charges, I'd beat the shit out of every single one. Especially, that bitch Connor-"

"My hero, Eds," Richie sighed out, dramatically, "-I'd bail you out."

"Haha," Eddie bit back, sarcastically, "-I'm not gonna get criminal charges, Rich. Not even for you."

"But like-" Richie asked, clarifying, "-in the Purge-"

"Oh yeah," Eddie answered, instinctively (on the exact same wavelength), "-they better watch their fucking backs."

Richie laughed again. Ah Eddie, my little shit. What the fuck would I do without you?

Richie hoped he'd never fucking find out. God, he really fucking hoped, with everything in him, that he'd get Eddie forever. Just fucking forever. He'd do anything-

reddy.bevvy ✔️

stream day babes !!!

Richie blinked at the message like he hadn't been sitting at his computer for the last hour. He was fucking excited, sue him-

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

how we feeling fellas

big.bill ✔️

Gonna try and get to the Ender Dragon this stream.

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

what a fucking mad lad

stan.the.man ✔️

You are clinically insane, Bill.

big.bill ✔️

Speedruns exist for a reason, Stanley.

benny.boy.official ✔️

super excited !!!

setting up Eddie now

reddy.bevvy ✔️

how did he do with your tutorial?

benny.boy.official ✔️

really good !!!

he hates the skeletons though

mike.me.up ✔️

valid take

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

no he's right

they're almost as shitty as the children

stan.the.man ✔️

???

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

the zombie kids

it's funnier to just call them a child

reddy.bevvy ✔️

where is Eddie ???

Richie pursed his lips, something biting at him. Eddie wasn't freaking himself out, was he? It made something in his stomach swirl-

e.kaspbrak

You guys are really fucking impatient.

It's been like 3 minutes since the conversation started.

Richie smiled.

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

3 minutes is long in internet time, eds

e.kaspbrak

I don't believe shit that comes out of your mouth, Rich.

mike.me.up ✔️

get a room you two

reddy.bevvy ✔️

come back to me guys

Richie, are you streaming first?

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

yea

I gotta invite everyone to the realm anyway

speaking of what's eds's gamertag ???

There was an odd pause in the chat, it made Richie furrow his eyebrows. He licked a line along his teeth, waiting a moment. What the fuck-

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

hello ???

benny.boy.official ✔️

I don't wanna get in trouble

Richie furrowed his eyebrows even more, frowning. What the fuck-

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

sweet, sweet benny boy

I can't add him if I don't know his gamertag

There was another pause.

benny.boy.official ✔️

eddie.spaghetti

Richie burst into the brightest fucking grin he thought he'd ever been able to grin.

e.kaspbrak

Don't fucking start.

mike.me.up ✔️

he's definitely already started

hate to break it to you

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

aweeeee 💞❤️🤭💞❤️

eds likes me guyssss

stan.the.man ✔️

Yeah, we know Richie.

big.bill ✔️

Actually, Eddie are you going to start gaming yourself?

Like streaming?

There was another pause, and he watched as Eddie typed in the corner. Little bubbles flickering by.

e.kaspbrak

No.

I think I'm good being known as Trashmouth's boyfriend.

Richie was never going to get over that. My boyfriend, Eddie's my boyfriend, mine, my boyfriend-

stan.the.man ✔️

A brave soul.

mike.me.up ✔️

fair point

Rich is a lot to handle and also highly sought after

Yeah, Richie never really got that. He definitely had fans that were into him like that (he'd seen the edits, which significantly had most clips of him with his glasses off weirdly). He didn't really like it, or agree with it. But he was flattered, in some way. And also maybe weirded out.

reddy.bevvy ✔️

Eddie was one of those

so I think he knows

Richie grinned.

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

celebrity crush for a year and a half babeyyyyyy

e.kaspbrak

Bev, why the fuck would you do that?

He's never gonna shut the fuck up about it now.

mike.me.up ✔️

to be fair I wouldn't either

stan.the.man ✔️

Yeah, you're kind of fucked on that one, Eddie.

big.bill ✔️

Way too good to pass up.

e.kaspbrak

I hate all of you.

That brought Richie to now, fidgeting with his hands as he made some adjustments to the game. Adding everyone in was pretty easy, honestly, he'd just want to do a final test run on his equipment. He went through a checklist in his head: charged controller, good framerate, open discord, and a slew of just stream shit.

Mindlessly, he adjusted his collar, he was actually wearing one of the two Bev made him (the one with the stars, he should clarify). It was really comfortable, and nicely colored. It might’ve been his favorite shirt honestly-

There was a little chime, and Richie opened his mouth to see if it was on the call or the game-

"Hey, Rich," Stan commented, "-You're early."

"Staniel, hey," Richie countered, "-You gonna go ahead and join the world?"

"Yeah, sure," Stan answered, "-I'm just checking some of my stream shit."

"Yeah, oka-"

Chime.

"Hi," Bev smiled, "-how's setting up, you two?"

"I actually troubleshooted today," Ruchie commented, "-so you guys should be very fucking proud of me."

"That's the bare minimum, Rich," Stan responded, flatly.

Bev clapped, he could hear it through her microphone, "Good job, honey."

There was a pause.

Chime.

"Hey g-guys," Bill called out, "-everything working on t-the world, R-Rich?"

"You know it, Billy," Richie chimed back.

Chime.

"Hello," Mike spoke, cheerfully, "-how's everybody doing?"

Everyone chimed in how they felt, respectfully one at a time though. They'd already figured out a balance, especially in regards to talking. Their streams needed to be organized, so all the kinks were already worked out.

Stanley started up, judgementally, "Did you seriously name it 'Tenacious D'?"

"Yep," Richie answered, "-What can I say, I love Jack Black."

"A-And it's a dick j-joke," Bill added.

Richie pursed his lips, before admitting, "And it's a dick joke."

Chime.

"Hey guys," Ben cheered out -soft and gentle like he always was. It offered a different kind of vibe to the group, a nicer one. Warm, inviting. Richie understood why people liked watching his streams, "-Imma run over and fix Eddie's mic-"

Richie suddenly realized they were most definitely in different rooms, why didn't he think of that beforehand? He did kinda want Eddie to be on his streams in person first, though, so he was kinda fucking glad, honestly-

Chime.

There was silence.

"Eddie?" Beverly called, gently.

"I think he's nervous," Ben answered back, carefully.

Richie was gnawing at his lip. His hands fidgeting with some of the shit on his desk, he tapped along the wood.

"There's nothing to be nervous about," she chimed again, softer.

He scrambled for a second, trying to figure out how exactly to help in front of everybody. How to get Eddie out of his head-

"Imma annoy you until you unmute, Eds," he sung out -off key, of course.

Nothing.

"Billy, Mikey," Richie hummed, knowing exactly who to recruit, "-start a chant with me."

"Y-Yeah, okay," Bill responded.

Mike agreed -wholeheartedly, "Let's do it, Rich."

"UNMUTE! UNMUTE! UNMUTE!"

"Guys, shut the hell up," Ben spoke -flatly, "-this is very stressful for him."

Richie's lips snapped shut, and the others followed suite. Oh shit.

Bev chimed then, softly, "Eddie, it's okay if you don't want to talk, we understand."

Richie was gnawing at his lip again, wringing his hands (he wanted to fucking be there and fucking help-), "You know we understand if you can't do it, Eds. And you sure as fuck know I'm not gonna hate you for it."

I love you, you know that. That's not going away.

There was a sigh, what Richie knew to be an Eddie sigh. He had like everything about him memorized, seriously. Richie lightened just a little.

"It's okay," Eddie breathed out, faster than he should (Richie logged it in his head), "-I'm just really fucking nervous-"

It's like a switch in Richie's brain flipped, a lightbulb going off in his head. It was just instinct, helping Eddie calm down. (He was half joking and half genuine, as he always was.)

He leaned back in his chair, distancing himself from the microphone (for dramatic effect, of course. And maybe not to blow people's ears out).

"HOLY MOTHER OF FUCK I’M IN LOVE-"

"Oh, shut up, asshole," Eddie laughed, his favorite kind actually -the one he meant (he really was so fucking in love with him, he wanted to shout it from the rooftops), "-You're such a fucking moron."

"Yeah," Stanley responded, "-sounds like Richie's type."

Bill agreed, "N-No yeah, d-definitely."

"Eddie, I'm so glad to actually hear you," Bev smiled, avoiding the other two -distinctly (like she was a disappointed mother), "-I've only heard your voice through videos."

"It's weird," he laughed a little, "-hearing all of you guys. I'm so used to your streams, it's fucking weird to hear you talking to me. Other than Ben and Mike, obviously. And well, Richie too."

"T-That, must've b-been fucking weird," Bill spoke, kinda like a question, "-fucking flirting w-with your celebrity c-crush? I c-can't even imagine-"

"It's not," Eddie spoke suddenly, before amending, "-Don't get me wrong when I saw that he liked my post, I literally almost ate shit-"

"How?" Bev laughed.

"I was on a morning jog," Eddie clarified, "-heard my phone chime through my headphones, and almost fucking faceplanted."

"Hey, I didn't know that," Richie complained, maybe pouting his lips like a sad toddler (no one else could see so, it didn't matter).

"You would've said something stupid about it," Eddie explained, plainly, "-and I hear enough of your stupid shit."

Richie opened his mouth to respond, like he always did with Eddie. Probably like 'I thought you liked when I said shit'-

"How is it not?" Ben steered the conversation back, gentle and calm.

Eddie seemed to take a second, and Richie waited. He was really fucking invested in this, honestly. He wanted to know-

"I don't fucking know, it's-" he started, most definitely flustered (Richie could physically see the puffed-up cheeks in his mind), "-It was strangely fucking natural. Like I've known him forever. Been dealing with his shit forever-"

Richie felt something squeeze in his chest. He knew he felt that way, but to know Eddie did too? It made his heart burst so much that he felt like it might claw out of his chest and land in Eddie's hands. Where it fucking belonged-

"He wasn't-" Eddie continued, trying to find his words, "-He wasn't Trashmouth to me, he was always... always Richie. If that makes any sense."

There was silence for a second, like everyone was processing it. Fuck, Richie still was-

"Yeah," Stanley echoed out, soft, "-it does, Eddie."

They kept talking for a little longer, before Richie broke off to start streaming. He muted himself in the discord groupchat until they all started playing (survival, by the way). The intro and shit needed to be individual, so, they worked it out that way.

"Hey, motherfuckers," he called out, before going into like an announcer's voice, "-it's the long awaited Minecraft stream-"

dizknees: THE TITLE THO

minecrafter.on.main: fucking finally

trashy.tozier: SPAGHETTI TOO????

elite._.gamer: this is going to be so much fun !!!

geez.zee: @/sam.i.am bet u 10 bucks he blows stan's house up at least once

only-here-for-trashmouth: 🍝🍝🍝 ???

the.losers.are.better: finally some delicious fucking food

babey_boy: hey everybodyyyyy

sam.i.am: @/geez.zee deal

girls.girl: can't believe Eddie's gonna be playing, love wins

trashmouth-for-me: SCREAMING !!! EDDIE !!!

Right, the title: Minecraft w/ The Losers 2.0 (now featuring 🍝).

Richie was honestly pretty fucking proud of himself-

"Yes, chat," Richie laughed, "-my boyfriend will be joining us today, and everybody else too. Not that you fuckers seem to care."

genuine._.disappointment: is 🍝 streaming too ?

"Oh, no," Richie corrected, "-Eds, is not a streamer, he doesn't really want to be. You guys will hear him though, and probably see him a lot, because, well, you're fucking watching me-"

screamingandcrying: whipped

toziers-trash: no bc I get it I'm obsessed too

younganddumb: crying in single rn

too.tough.to.cry: #1 Eddie content creator

trashmouth-for-me: @/tozier_babeyyyy get here the clips for your comp !!!

grumpy_frog: so many wins for reddie rn

an_idiot_sandwich32: creative or survival

reddie-girlie: I have risen

babey_gurlll: so excited !!!

tellmealie34: hardcore ? jk... unless 👀

trashy.tozier: @/reddie-girlie THAT WAS SO FUCKING FAST WHAT

your._.mom: r u a builder or miner ? or fighter ?

minecraft-minecraft76: is this survival ?

toziers-trash: @/reddie-girlie @/trashy.tozier the army is rising 🫡

genuine._.disappointment: @/your._.mom he's gay hope this helps

Richie pointed out a few more chats (the game type and if it was a realm, mostly), before finally loading into the game. He waited a few seconds, messaging if everyone was ready and when they answered connecting the audio.

"You guys hear everybody okay?"

dizknees: all good 👍

Richie nodded, before turning toward the game -typical forest. He watched as faces popped into the world, each one a unique skin (except for Eddie). He should clarify that he made Stan make one, otherwise, he would've been Steve.

"Alright troops," Richie chimed, low tone (like a sargent), "-let's get that fucking wood."

Near instantly, Eddie responded -Steve turning to him (his Tony the tiger skin really was a dead giveaway), "Since when are you the fucking boss?"

genuine._.disappointment: EDDIEEEE

grumpy_frog: 🍝🍝🍝

trashy.tozier: his name is EDDIE.SPAGHETTI ??? SOBBING

babey_boy: 🍝🍝🍝

kermie_my_love: 🍝🍝🍝

trashmouth-for-me: @/trashy.tozier that's so cute 😭

the.losers.are.better: ah, Eddie how we love you

tozier_babeyyyy: clipped

maybe_maybelline45: 🍝🍝🍝

reddie-girlie: say that king 👏

"Good point," Richie relented, "-and also, chat says hi, Eds."

There was a moment.

"Hi," he responded, a little sheepishly (so fucking cute, it made Richie want to physically explode).

Richie watched as his chat blew by with both waves and 'hi's with a smile. They probably rivaled him at this point-

"Is this k-keep inventory?" Bill asked.

Richie pressed his lips together, "Yeah, there's no fucking stress in my Minecraft game, Bills."

Bill's character (one that looked like him) promptly leaped off the mountain. Richie burst into laughter within seconds.

"What the fuck-" Eddie piped up, laughing a little himself.

"Yeah, Bill," Mike continued (he was some sort of media character that Richie knew but couldn't quite name), "-What are you doing?"

"I s-saw c-coal," Bill explained, shortly, "-I knew I c-could make it."

Richie was still laughing, "You did that for coal?"

Stan, whose skin looked exactly fucking like him, was still mindlessly gathering wood -unaffected, "Why are we surprised guys? It's fucking Bill."

Bev agreed, diligently breaking grass and flowers, "Yeah, he's going to do shit like that."

"K-Keep talking," Bill scoffed, "-see who you fuckers c-come t-to for resources."

Eventually, all of them ran into a village.

"What the fuck is this?" Eddie called out, and Richie turned to see him slowly looking around the area.

"You didn't see a village in a tutorial, Spaghetti?" Richie smiled, asking curiously.

Ben clarified, quickly, "We were in creative."

"Oh," Richie hummed, before answering, "-it's a village, and those fuckers are villagers. We're basically here to steal their shit."

Eddie roamed closer to Richie, like he would protect him (Richie nearly fucking died right there), "Are they enemies?"

"Eds," Richie teased, "-are they trying to kill you right now?"

"Fuck you," Eddie bit back, most definitely flustered and frustrated, "-We're stealing their shit, I didn't know if they were gonna fucking... be mad."

"Eds," Richie smiled, teasing again (he'll admit it), "-are you afraid the villagers are going to be mad at you?"

"I will kill you."

"Sadly, PvP is turned off," Richie commented, "-but I would turn it on for you if I could."

"Shut up," Eddie was laughing, and it made something in him shimmer.

tozier_babeyyyy: this is a gold mine rn

girls.girl: new way to flirt just dropped

girlie-pops: fuck romeo and juliet I want what these bitches have

yodel-hey-he-who: 🍝🍝🍝

only-here-for-trashmouth: I'm sobbing why do I love them

trashy.tozier: @/tozier_babeyyyy ur comp is gonna HIT

shake_my_spear: no bc I'm new but I'm invested

reddie-girlie: EDDIE !!!

Richie just shook his head, smiling (he was so entirely fucked, as always), and making a crafting table.

"There," he dropped him a sword (just a stone one but it was better than fucking nothing), "-if the villagers start swinging, Eds, you're protected."

"Fuck you," Eddie responded, before adding, "-but thanks, Rich."

"Yeah, yeah-"

"BILL, WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT-"

They both spun around, and Richie watched Bill get launched by the iron golem -halfway across the village. He couldn't help but fucking laugh, his friends were such fucking idiots-

"What the fuck is that?" Eddie asked -horrified, and Richie watched him roam closer again (even though he had the sword).

"I w-want his s-shit!" Bill answered, swiftly running away -the golem closely behind.

"Iron ingots?" Stan replied -incredulous, "-Just go fucking mining-"

"Don't worry, Eddie baby," Richie spoke through laughter (he was wiping his eyes, seriously), "-he's like the bodyguard for the villagers. Bill definitely fucking picked that fight."

"Oh," Eddie spoke, softer, and god, Richie loved the shit out of him.

"Now, hate to do this to you, Eds, but-" Richie chimed, pulling out his sword and chasing after Bill, "-I gotta get in on this shit."

dizknees: EDDIE BABY ???

biggurls_dontcry5: bill is insane

yoohoo789: I really feel Stan rn

trashmouth-for-me: @/dizknees 😭😭😭

grumpy_frog: that's what I expected honestly

babey_boy: bills pov must be crazyyyy

trashy.tozier: @/dizknees @/trashmouth-for-me the pet names are killing me

minecrafter.on.main: this is so fucking funny

the.losers.are.better: I literally love these streamers

Bill did, in fact, die. Richie didn't, he killed the fucker, and then refused to give Bill the iron ingots. As Richie Tozier would do.

After that, the whole group was trying to find a place to stop. They were at that point where they had too much shit to keep moving. So, eyes were peeled (even throughout the nights, which Richie neatly stayed by Eddie's side through, if you were wondering).

Personally, Richie didn't really give a fuck about where they lived. He did like to see the sick ass mountains generated with like cool peaks and shit, but he didn't have to build there. So, he was kinda lenient.

"Is this a flower field?" Eddie asked, curiously.

Everyone stopped to look ahead. And there was one, levels and levels of flowers. Richie even saw sunflowers, actually, turned toward the sun. It really was just... good, Minecraft was so feel-good sometimes-

"Yeah," Mike answered, "-sometimes they spawn. It's nice, isn't it?"

Eddie didn't say anything for a second, Steve just turned out to the flowers. Richie wished he could see him like this, what his face looked like-

"It's really fucking pretty."

Richie wasn't fucking moving an inch. He was going to throw a tantrum if they didn't set up camp here, actually. And he knew how to throw a fucking tantrum-

"I'm staying here," he expressed, flatly, "-I'm living here. My vote's for here-"

Stan spoke up then, deadpanning, "I wonder why."

"I'm dead fucking serious-"

"I like it too actually," Bev interrupted, ignoring both of them, "-It's got the flowers and a cute little creek. My vote is for here too."

Ben hummed -unsurprisingly (because obviously), "I agree, it's nice and flat too."

Mike added, "Who am I to disagree?"

"I-I just w-want to p-put down my b-bed," Bill offered, abruptly. Richie knew he probably wouldn't even spend time building a house, or maybe he was afraid of dying again.

"So your vote doesn't matter," Bev addressed, "-Stan? Eddie?"

Stan answered, after a few hesistant seconds, "Yeah, I like it."

Eddie was quiet for a second, "We don't have to do it here, guys-"

"We want to," Ben chimed back, and Richie could tell he was smiling. All warm and just Ben. Richie could feel it all the way across the country.

"Plus," Mike leveled, "-Richie isn't gonna let us go anywhere else."

"Very true," Stanley agreed -succinctly. And yeah, he really wasn't.

There was a pause.

"Well, then," Eddie sighed out, maybe flustered again, "-yeah. I like it here. A lot."

"Awesome!" Bev chimed, happily, "-Let's place down our beds, and then-"

"I don't have one," Eddie offered, maybe a little concerned.

"I've got one for you, Eds," Richie soothed -casually, "-no worries."

Eddie was soft and quiet, barely above a whisper, "Thanks."

Richie blinked, tilting his head slightly. It was a weird reaction, he noted. He didn't think it was him being nervous (or the bad kind that they talked about), but still... it was different.

"'Course, Eds," Richie laughed (I love you), "-Imma place it, just hit it once, and you'll make it your respawn point."

Eddie obediently did so.

The others were bickering, but Richie wasn't really listening. He was a little lost. It felt like Eddie was actually fucking here. Like he was standing right next to him. In a fucking Minecraft game, he felt so fucking close to him for once.

And that feeling shook through his bones.

"I'm just gonna start building my house," Bev called out, and it knocked him right out of his thoughts. He really didn't have a fucking clue about what they'd been talking about before, but-

Richie cleared his throat, just moving on autopilot (which in this case meant building a chest and putting all of his shit in said chest). It was instinctual. And helped him shake that feeling of Eddie being so fucking far-

"Can I build the house?"

Richie hummed, preoccupied, "Hmm?"

"Our house," Eddie clarified, simply, "-Can I build it?"

trashy.tozier: OUR HOUSE

minecrafter.on.main: no bc I came here for Minecraft why am I crying

babey_gurlll: it's not love if they don't build you a joint Minecraft house

only-here-for-trashmouth: @/trashy.tozier 😭😭😭

ghoulie_girlie69: 🍝🍝🍝

toziers-trash: this is so sweet

younganddumb: is this even a trashmouth stream rn ??? or is it a coming-of-age romcom ???

babey_boy: this is so gay where's the gay shit guy

grumpy_frog: 🍝🍝🍝

shake_my_spear: this feels like I'm watching a movie

Richie processed that for a second. Taking it in. He blinked once and just stared at his screen -he'd said it so casually. It shot through his heart.

Our house.

"Yeah, of course," he finally said, laughing a little, "-I would've just made a fucking dirt fort anyway."

"Ew," Eddie frowned (Richie could almost see the shrivel of his nose).

"If you, um," Richie pressed his lips together, maybe a little awkwardly, "-If you need any supplies, tell me, and I'm fucking on it."

Eddie waited a second, like he was thinking, "Could you get me some flowers? It's kinda fucking plain as shit over here."

Fuck, Richie would get them all. For him. For Eddie. God. I love him, I love you, I love you-

"Aye, aye, captain!" Richie chimed instead, saluting (even though Eddie could not see it).

"Stop fucking saluting," Eddie chastised, "-I know you're doing it. It's such a stupid bit-"

Richie laughed -decidedly still saluting, "Sir, yes, sir!"

"Did you do it again?" Eddie asked, accusingly. Like he could see him straight through the screen. Like he knew him so well, and he fucking did-

"Maybe."

Eddie let out something between a sigh and a laugh (or a hidden laugh, he definitely tried to hide it), "You're an idiot."

Richie grinned, a big wide cheesy grin like it was just the two of them. Like he was right fucking in front of him. Like Eddie was there, and he wasn't-

Fuck. He was so fucking far away-

Stan interrupted the thought, "Hey, Rich, do have any extra sticks? I wanna build a fishing rod and get away from all that shit."

Richie looked toward Bev's rough shape of a house. It was only just started, but her and Ben seemed to be working together on it. Maybe they were taking a break? And Bill wasn't anywhere to be seen, he assumed he'd gone into a nearby ravine (that Richie had almost fallen into and died like three fucking times).

"Awe, Stanthony doesn't want to be a third wheel?" Richie cooed, patronizingly.

"For you or them," Stan clarified, before reiterating, "-Sticks?"

"I get 50% of the good loot," Richie remarked, throwing some out of his inventory, "-which I know you fucking get from enough fishing."

"25%," Stan stated like it wasn't even a debate, "-because you could fucking fish yourself."

"Fine," Richie conceded.

"Yeah, thanks," Stanley commented passively, before going towards the nearest water source.

When he turned around, he didn't expect his one chest to triple. But it had.

Richie furrowed his eyebrows, watching as Eddie (Steve really) went through the line -opening each one for a moment and then moving down. He pressed his lips together and tilted his head.

"Uh," Richie tried, "-Eds?"

"Yeah?" Eddie replied, unmoving in his cycle.

"What-" Richie started, staring, "-What are you doing?"

"Sorting the chests," Eddie responded -frankly, "-fucking obviously."

Richie hummed, "You know you're gonna have to pick all that shit back up to put it into the house, right?"

"No," Eddie retorted, plainly, "-you're gonna have to pick all this shit up and put it in the house. And then, I'll organize it again."

"Eddie baby, I will do that for you, don't get me wrong, but-" Richie pointed out, "-that's still double the work for you."

Eddie didn't flinch, not even looking up, "I don't mind."

Richie pursed his lips before shrugging, and retorting -flat and nasally, "Yes, dear."

"Haha, hilarious-" Eddie mocked, still busy, "-Didn't I ask for fucking flowers, dickweed?"

Richie repeated, even more nasally (it was almost Squidward), "Yes, dear."

"You're such a-"

The rest of the stream was much calmer, just slow little builds. Richie did eventually join Bill in the mines, where they had quite a harrowing adventure. Including landing in one block of water, fighting six skeletons at once, uncovering a mob spawn, and finding the fucking WARDEN (which Richie did not know about until Bill saw it)-

That did, in fact, kill them. But Richie went back to a finished house, perfectly organized chests, and well... Eddie, so, he counts it as a win.

benny.boy.official ✔️

that was really fun, guys !!!

mike.me.up ✔️

yeah, I miss our group streams

reddy.bevvy ✔️

we def have to do more

big.bill ✔️

Yeah, pretty sure this kick-started my yearly Minecraft phase.

Richie was about to type out a message, when he got another notification.

e.kaspbrak

Hey, Rich.

Can we talk in this chat?

Richie frowned for a second.

trashmouth.tozier ✔️

yeah of course eds

why ?

everything okay ?

Richie stared at the bubbles for a few more seconds, watching as they typed and retyped. Until, they just disappeared. He frowned again, ready to follow up-

e.kaspbrak is calling

He flinched at the noise, taking a second. What the fuck is happening? Even still, he clicked answer -unhesitatingly.

Before he could even open his mouth, Eddie was talking.

"You should come get me next week."

Richie blinked, "What?"

"Come get me next week, Thursday," Eddie clarified like it would make more sense when he repeated it.

"Eds," he laughed, "-you have like two weeks left of the month-"

"I know what I said, dipshit," Eddie replied -biting back, "-Things change and they fucking have."

Richie felt like the words were lodged in his throat.

"Do you not-" Eddie started up, hesitantly, "-Do you not want me there earlier? Or-"

"Eds, I would bring you here right now if I could," Richie explained, instantly (Eddie was not thinking that for one more fucking second), "-I would get into my car at 3 am if you wanted me to-"

Eddie interrupted, bitterly (in a caring kinda way), "You are not fucking doing that."

"-I just don't want you to fucking... regret it."

"Regret what?" Eddie asked, genuinely.

"I don't know-" Richie started, "-moving in with me, not waiting the full month, fucking anything, Eds. I don't know if I... I don't know if I could handle you regretting a single fucking thing."

Eddie was silent for a second. And it made Richie debate the biting his nails habit again. They were actually pretty healthy, so he thought might've really fucked them up-

"Richie," he began, carefully, "-that stupid fucking game made me realize... that I was just wasting fucking time."

Richie fell silent. For once.

"I don't-" Eddie cleared his throat, "-I don't wanna be in New York anymore. I wanna fucking be with you. So fucking badly that sometimes it physically hurts."

Something curled up in his chest, and Richie felt a little like crying. The good kind, he should say.

"And I know that I just fucking said a month, but it's just-" Eddie let out a long sigh, "-That stupid game, you were right fucking there. And I want you right fucking there all the time."

God, he was fucking crying. Maybe he'd even get to ugly crying if Eddie kept this shit up.

"When the fuck have I done the shit that I want?" Eddie echoed out, "-Ever? So I'm gonna fucking do it. You're gonna show up at my doorstep whether you fucking like it or not-"

Richie laughed and it was a little teary. God, I fucking love him. So much.

"-and I'm going to San Francisco. Because this shit sucks, and I wanna be there. With you, and your dumb fucking jokes, and your fucking shitty ass shirts, and your crooked as fuck smile, and your... just... just everything."

Yeah, okay, here comes the ugly crying.

"Fuck, Eds," Richie laughed, sniffling, "-you can't just pull all that shit out on me again. Last time you did I fucking confessed my love for you. What the fuck am I supposed to do now-"

"Come and fucking get me," Eddie replied simply.

"Yeah, okay," Richie breathed out, shaky, "-Thursday."

"I changed my fucking mind," Eddie erupted again, somehow sharp and happy (Eddie did that a lot), "-come tomorrow. Start your trip tomorrow."

"What the fuck?" Richie laughed, fucking elated (had he ever been elated in his fucking life?), "-Tomorrow?"

"Yes," Eddie affirmed, "-I'm already gonna have to wait like 5 days for you to fucking get here. So tomorrow."

"Shit, okay, yeah," Richie grinned, "-tomorrow. I gotta do so much shit-"

"Let me guess, you haven't even thought about packing?" Eddie chastised.

"Eds, I had weeks," Richie countered, "-Why would I pack fucking weeks in advance?"

"I have," Eddie offered.

"Spaghetti, I love you, I do," Richie chimed, "-but you're a little freak of nature."

"I am average fucking height, dickweed-"

"Not in America," Richie contradicted, in a sort of sing-songy tone, "-Also fucking love that you're only arguing the little part."

"I fully acknowledge that I'm a freak," Eddie explained, "-because you love me and you know that. So, it's pretty fucking irrelevant at this point."

"Is that all that matters?" Richie laughed.

"Yeah," Eddie answered (like it was obvious), "-you've already said that you're gonna take care of me. And that fucking includes the freakiness. Nothing else matters."

Just you and me, Richie's mind hummed -calm and quiet, Just you and me.

"Yeah, Eds," Richie agreed, grinning, "-nothing else matters."

[chaoticgeminate]

Some silliness Solecita would be sending Javi throughout the day on Valentines, and also me to you ❤️🧡🩷

HAYLEY THANK YOU SO MUCH I LOVE THEM!

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY MY BELOVED!

Solecita would absolutely send these to Javi! In fact...

"I hate this."

"It's not much longer, mi amor."

Javi whined through the receiver and you giggled gently at the sound as you sat at your desk, the document open on your screen currently being ignored in favor of the phone call. He'd been traveling to and from the set for his film ever since you'd gotten back from holiday, it had been a suggestion for you to minimize traveling only because you'd developed gestational diabetes and the team of physicians Javi employed to your care wanted you to be close in case of any other complications.

"I want to be home with you, it is almost Valentines Day and I am here when I should be home."

Hearing his tone shift to something harsher, angrier, was more than enough proof that the distance was starting to get to him. Your free hand came to rest on your bump gently, typically hidden by baggy hoodies and sweaters whenever you had to go anywhere, and you thought about the white gown hidden in a garment bag in your closet that was just waiting for the day to come.

Javi had no idea you'd arranged for a small backyard style wedding, that you'd used Murch and Dieter's extensive list of contacts to help you arrange the set-up and break down of the decor and Lorna had been delighted when you called her up to see if she'd like to come cater the small ceremony. You'd gone with an empire cut gown to make it easier on your changing body, the skirt was just barely long enough to pass your ankles and you had every intention of going barefoot down the carpeted aisle.

Shoes had become the devil as of late.

"You'll be home almost right after, it's okay. We knew this was happening weeks ago."

"You are allowed to be selfish and demand I stay home."

"I know, Javi, but I want you to get things handled so you don't have to fly back sooner. You're almost done, soon the team and the director will have everything they need and you can just stay home, and you know that you have three people on that set who will call you the second anything isn't exactly to your specifications."

Javi had pulled Murch into multitudes of meetings with the script team, the costume team, and basically everything so that she knew exactly what it was he wanted. He wanted her on editing still, wanted her to do what she was best at, but trusted her to make sure that nobody changed his vision without at least running it by him first.

You hummed and began tabbing through Tumblr while Javi groaned softly, nodding at the logic of what you reminded him, and paused seeing the Valentines cards in your inbox. Your best friends online were amazing, you'd confessed to a handful of your most trusted exactly who you were and their reactions had been to squeal and scream and ask you about what Javi was like in bed before calling you "God's Favorite" and blasting you with memes from press shots of you and Javi.

Basically nothing had changed.

Now they just sent you Nic Cage memes to send to Javi.

You loved them so much and they'd all agreed to come to the wedding -with you paying for everything, no way in hell were you going to let them go broke for it- so you had been more than excited about the event to come.

"I have to go, my break is over, if you need me for anything please call me Solecita."

"Don't worry, I absolutely will call you if there's any issues."

Paolo was here with you, along with a small group of security guards that were all ex-military special forces, and so was Gabriella; basically there was nothing you could do that he wouldn't know about if anyone thought you'd be at risk.

"I love you, mi prometida."

"I love you, mi prometido."

As you ended the call your stomach grumbled, making you roll your eyes, and as you got up to raid the fridge you couldn't help but giggle and look down at your round belly.

"Let's wait until Papa comes home to tell him the surprise."

You didn't get an answer but you also hadn't expected one.

Valentines Day came with flowers delivered, as well as chocolate covered strawberries, and a spa day voucher that you could cash in on whenever you wanted. The chocolate was dark and rich but with your new food restrictions you had to be careful over how many you ate, though you did talk to your physicians first to make sure they wouldn't lose their minds over you indulging in a few treats, and you had done a lot more writing than you'd thought yourself capable of.

Editing was an entirely different beast, you had gotten a few paragraphs in and given up, now you were currently just scrolling through Tumblr and reading the plethora of new Valentines Day themed fanfictions that had cropped up on your dash. A soft chime and an ask notification had your cheeks aching from how wide you smiled, saving the Nic Cage Valentines with a shrill giggle and immediately sending them to Javi after you filled out the final one.

You half expected a text back with his favorite emoji, the good ol' rofl emoji, but instead you heard his boisterous laugh from downstairs.

"Javi?!"

"Surprise! I was able to hammer out the details early and come home."

(You would later learn that Dieter and Nic had banded together and outright refused to work, as they had their own Valentines plans they wanted to disappear for, while Murch strong-armed Javi into demanding to come home sooner.)

Tears of joy made your lower lip quiver and Javi's panicked squeak as he dropped the flowers onto your desk to cradle you in his arms only made you sniffle louder.

"Stupid pregnancy hormones, I'm happy, sorry I'm just-"

"No, not stupid anything. You are doing an amazing thing, Solecita, carrying our baby. You may cry, yell, pout, and do whatever you need to in order to express whatever it is you're feeling."

How you'd landed the literal perfect man you'd never know, God's Favorite indeed, and Javi's sweet grace over your constantly changing emotions had you swooning and crying all in one weird choked off sound. He pulled back enough to rest his hand on your belly, on the swell of skin that had become his favorite place to just rest his hand, and you wiped your face of tears as you carded your hand through his curls with your other hand.

"Javi?"

"Hmmm?"

He was just basking in being home, being close to you again, his touch gentle as he swayed with you to the music of your heartbeats and soft breaths.

"You like the name Iris still?"

His eyes shot to your face, maybe it was cruel to do the reveal standing up but you just couldn't wait. His eyes began to glisten and his hands covered his mouth as he let out the softest little sound of delight.

"We are having a girl?"

"Yes, you'll have a little princesa to have tea parties with."

"Mi reina y mi princesa, I am truly blessed."

He meant it, too, not one of those men who had to have the firstborn son or whatever archaic thing that was about; he truly, wholly, was happy to have a little girl to welcome to the world when the time came. His mystified expression as he dropped to his knees to just press his forehead to your abdomen, to whisper promises of whatever kind of toys and hobbies his little girl wanted, all of it made you fall even more in love with this man.

"Good, the wedding is in three days. I've already got your suit."

Javi's eyes shot up to yours before he laughed, grinning wide and kissing your bump.

"Do you hear that, my little Iris? Your mama is the one who runs this house."

"You're damn right I do."

"Then allow me to pay tribute to mi reina, I have a lot of time away to make up for."

"Happy Valentines Day, Javi."

"Happy Valentines Day, Solecita."

It was absolutely a wonderful Valentines Day with Javi making you see stars with his mouth, making you drench the sheets with the skillful use of his fingers, and whispering praise as he told you how beautiful you were while he made you watch the way you took his cock in front of the mirror in the bedroom.

He was insatiable for the taste of you, the feel of your body against his, the sound of you crying his name into the room with each orgasm he pulled from you until you were leaking with him and shaking from a mix of hunger and exhaustion. Javi fed you small bites in bed, not bothering to clean you up yet as you leaked him on the sheets, and drew a bath for you while you showered only to end up pressing your back into the tile and soak the floor of the shower.

You didn't remember falling asleep in the rub as he rubbed your shoulders and hands, as he whispered promises of taking care of you and Iris, but you did remember him getting you up and drying you off and tucking you into bed after changing out the sheets. You woke up to him curled around you with an arm held protectively over your lower belly and his smile against your shoulder.

[cujokroggo]

TW: bit of a rant, SA mentions

Ugh I just saw this character online, idk his name, but the character was literally what started my crash out. My ex was openly talking about how they'd choose said character over me, got mad when I said I was uncomfortable, and when I was growling (mind you, growling is a TIC I HAVE THAT I CANNOT CONTROL) they said it was "weird" They knew I had autism. They knew I had tics. I repeatedly stated my boundaries to them and it pisses me off, SO MUCH, that I was ignored. Like?? What's so unimportant about me that it's okay to make me uncomfortable.

Am I just not important? Did I not get intimate enough? I'm sorry bitch, I wasn't fucking comfortable fucking you after you repeatedly cheated on me and mocked me. Maybe I'd want to fuck someone who actually didn't hate my body. Maybe I'd want a long term relationship with someone who didn't constantly belittle my mental illness THAT GETS MORE SEVERE IN A RELATIONSHIP.

"Why didn't you cry when you left?" Gee I dunno, something about how I like NOT BEING FUCKED IN MY SLEEP. OR HOW I DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT BEING ABANDONED. Or maybe I didn't like that I had to beg for the bare fucking minimum from this person only to be called "too much" and given silent treatment because god FORBID!! THAT I ASK TO BE TOLD "I LOVE YOU"

Let me also say this was the same time my friend group fell apart and two people, who shall remain unnamed, fucking blamed me for, get this, SHOWING A SYMPTOM OF A MENTAL ILLNESS THAT I HAVE.

It's called Borderline PERSONALITY disorder. Get it? Personality? You know, obviously my personality is gonna be centered around

A FUCKING PERSONALITY DISORDER!!!

Goddamn, sorry to rant I like to try to stay positive but jesus fucking christ. If your partner has bpd, don't treat them like shit. If they ask for reassurance don't be a little bitch, just give it to them. Ffs.

And another thing? If you have a boundary, don't ever let people walk over it. It's gonna become a hole that will be VERY hard to crawl out of.

[cidthesquid]

The origin of this account! Answering Questions+ Quick Update 03/26/24

Quick Update 03/26/24 + The origin of this account!

Hello all, It's been a while since my last post, so I figured I'd post a short update regarding new content.

In short I'll continue to update this blog when something of note happens in Style Savvy Trend setters, but it's still been pretty quiet/slow, and with FF7:Rebirth out soon, my progress will be slow. ---

Also, I'd like to take some time to respond to a few questions that were sent in. For some reason, I can't see my question inbox, so I'll just be making a short reply based on what showed up in the email preview.

Since, I'm not sure if this person is comfortable with me sharing their name, So we'll just call them 'sender', and I'll 'find and replace' it later if they're okay with me sharing it.

Anyways, 'sender' mentioned that they have a two-week wait before they can post comments. I did not know tumbler had a wait system like that. I'm still fairly new here.

From what I've seen 'like' and 'reblogs' are the most common forms of interactions, so comments are pretty rare, (Fairly different from other social media.)

I've actually been a bit hesitant to comment on others posts because of this. (don't want to rock the boat) But anyone is free to comment here, and I'm open to constructive criticism as well. So if you have an idea of how an outfit could look better (in the style I'm going for) feel free to let me know!

---

'Sender' Also mentioned various setups I could use to make playing ' MODEL Debut 3' easier. Holding up my phone to my pc screen was very uncomfortable, so their suggestion of using a phone tripod setup would have helped a lot, if I go back to the game, I'll give it a shot!

---

'Senders' Third message mentioned how they'd been enjoying reading through the content I'd been posting, including both the game commentary, and the sections that tied it into some of my related personal stories.

And that really meant a lot to me, I honestly considered just switching to 'Outfit of the day' style posts, as in a comment-lite platform like this, it was hard to see what from the content people enjoyed most.

This is why I started front-loading a lot of the outfit pics, After posting them, I'd add a line or two about what happened that day (in-game) as a quick summary, then I'd say "hmm, maybe I should explain a little more about thought process behind the outfit", followed by "ok, but wow, X was done way better (or worse) here compared to Fashion Forward", and next thing I knew hour and hour had passed, XD

As for the little personal stories and connections to my experiences with fashion, and why these games mean so much to me, that has its own story behind it, (buckle up!)

---- /!\ Caution: End of blog updates, Mostly unedited Ramblings beyond this point /!\

The short version is, a few years back I was looking for a way to try to practice being more social, and open about stuff. Normally people would just post online to do that, but I'd been using the same online name since high school, so most the people I knew IRL new it, and it was used on all my social media/online games.

And as it was prime covid time, everyone I knew irl was at home on social media, so any post on my normal social media would likely actively promoted to the people, who I did not really want to see it.

So I figured a 'fresh slate' would be the best way to practice being more social, without having to worry about what people thought about me!

It sounds kinda crazy now, but I ended up making a new discord twitter, reddit and steam account, tumbler was honestly just an afterthought, as I hardly ever used my main tumblr.

So I played some online game, joined some discord groups, and followed and messaged people on twitter…

…and after the first year, I was borderline right back where I was before. Still second guessing everything I post, leaving tons of replies in the drafts, and while I had 'mutuals', there were just other people I followed so I could get more of the content I already enjoyed, there was no real connection outside of a quick reply here or there.

I spent so much time thinking "oh I'm just not comfortable with these IRL people", that simply having a new 'pool' of people to interact with would fix all my social issues, and while I did feel a little more comfortable talking about a wider range of topics with these new people, I'd still feel held back in many of the same was as before.

Every action had to be fueled by multiple layers of second guessing.

"I like this art, I should tell them…well they probably already hear that all the time, it won't matter" "I Also like the thing they're talking about, but they're WAY more interested, so I can't really add much to the conversation" "I really like that outfit/artwork, but it is a tiny bit suggestive, so would that sound creepy coming from a guy?"

…and much more. Addintally, when I often have trouble wording things in a natural sounding way, I'd have to worry about not just 'what' I said but "how I said it" And with multiple questions behind each action, just like with my main account, I just stopped interacting.

And it really took a lot of positive exposure to situations for me to be able to see, sometimes the intent matters almost as much (or sometimes more) than wording.

I've already gone into details on the process here, and in my reddit post prior to posting on tumblr.

But in short, playing in the fantastic Final Fantasy XIV community, gave me a lot of great places to experience this.

You could get carried through a dungeon by a tank that only speaks in the 3rd person, or get great healing from a cat girl, who's every single message contains at least one cat-related pun.

How they presented that help, did not matter, it's the fact that they were willing to help. And you could also look however you wanted, Even if that meant you were protected by a 2.5' very angry munchkin of a tank, people would just roll with it.

Style Savvy was just as helpful, I may never understand modern fashion or trends, But if someone comes into my shop asking to look a specific way, I get to help them achieve their ideal image!

I got to explore a small section of the fashion world, without having to worry about "well, technically that's out of season" or "ooh, that was IN last year, but now it's OUT", or "Why am I dressing this person that way, what would they really want?"

I just got to have fun living in my own little fashion cubbyhole, a comfortable little cutout with only the parts I enjoy.

And Fashion Forward had such a big impact on me, I just really had to share it, so I made the above reddit post, I kept playing and kept enjoying the game, and started sharing my thoughts here as well, as it's much better for images than Reddit.

And just like with playing the games, over time I started sharing more of my thoughts, and eventually explaining "why" I felt specific ways about some parts, it felt fairly uncomfortable at first, but I remember just telling myself, "It's still topical, and if they've gotten this far, they kinda know what there getting into",

My main concern was not making anyone uncomfortable, or upset

but still trying to be open, and I think I've managed to strike a fair balance. As in general, I want this blog to be more about my adventure with fashion, rather than simply sharing screenshots, or just me venting. And even if a majority of people are here for the screenshots, it still means a lot that others are interested in my content!

---

Anyways you all for reading, hopefully this little look inside the creation of the channel was insightful! (I have to head start work, but I'll do a quick edit pass later) I still have a long ways to go when it comes to 'social improvements' , but I feel I've made a ton of progress in the last year or so. These games have helped far more than my 'dramatic social media change', and now I'm getting some external support to manage as well!

And while I won't yet be providing exact details of my situation, Questions and comments are always open!

[queernobi]

Saw a post from a trans man about transmasculinity which I agreed with at first glance, but then it said something like, "maybe the reason why so many trans men are transmeds is because YOU (referring to non-transmasc nonbinary folk and transfems) keep kicking us out of other spaces!" and this tweet had a LOT of positive notes and reblogs from other transmascs who agreed with OP.

As a transmasc myself, I really, REALLY need other transmascs to understand a few things:

1) There's literally no verifiable evidence that other transmascs are disproportionately more likely to be bigoted, not even specifically bigoted in the sense that they are transmedicalist. If you are a transmasc and you accept this assertion at face value, then you have either only ever spent time with the shittiest transmasc groups ever (which, to be fair, I used to be in that position, so relatable), or you yourself have troubling attitudes that need to be examined.

2) While I cannot presume to speak for all transmascs, the transmasc folk that I know have only ever been kicked out of communities with other transmascs, usually because those transmascs had shitty attitudes, and *even then* it's happened very, VERY rarely. If you genuinely have a problem connecting with any trans person who isn't transmasc to such an extent that you cannot stay in a group with them for that long, then I'm sorry to say, I have a hard time believing the problem is with those other trans folk.

3) No, and I can't believe I have to say this, being ousted from a group--even for unjustified reasons--is not an excuse to espouse bigotry (and transmedicalism is bigotry). It does not make you sympathetic, or sad, or relatable, or justified, *it just makes you a fucking asshole.*

I don't want to presume too much, but the most generous reading I can take from these sorts of takes (which I want to insist can very well just be me reading way too much into it!) is that many of these transmasculine folk have never really had a lot of spaces or community with other transmascs, which isn't inherently bad (or even their fault, really), but does make it difficult to talk about actual issues transmascs face. I'd like to be able to discuss specific issues transmascs face, and even discuss how difficult it can sometimes be to get other non-transmasc nonbinary folk and transfems to understand and recognize those issues, without having to cosign dangerous, harmful, and FALSE assertions that no transmasc person ever feels comfortable around non-transmasc trans folk (especially transfems). You are absolutely projecting your own issues and biases there, and as a transmasc myself, I want absolutely no part of that shit.

[quaranmine]

As someone who plays on an SMP server with people across different time zones, you do start to pay attention to others' schedules. Or at least when they tend to be online in your time zone. When the server is your job, I bet it's even more a thing because of how much time they spend on the same server for months on end.

Oh yes, I know they'd be aware of each other's timezones and who's normally online at the same time as them. I'm very aware of the timezones in my discord server.

I was specifically hitting on the job angle of it like you mentioned. Because for the server I'm on we're just a pretty small group of people playing for fun so we're all like "who's going to be online today?" or "im planning on logging in at [time]!" But with the hermits, it's their jobs and you expect them to be on there a lot. So it's sort of like I think a lot of them have fairly regular times of day they "clock in" for example. Of course, it's still flexible for them do other things in their lives though.

I was thinking of Doc's episode where he pranked Grian, and he says something like "I'm just waiting for him to log in for the day," and presumably not much later Grian did indeed log in. Since none of that was coordinated, Doc just knew that was a day Grian would be on and what pretty much what time to expect him. Same with False worrying about not finishing the UFO in time before Pearl would log in.

Obviously this is all pretty obvious things you pick up from working with people a while and is clearly very timezone dependant, I just like the little details like that :]

[filthyriddle]

Past Experiences With Antis

Warning: Fandom Discourse Post, Discussing Abuse

Copied over from Twitter

Between 2016 and 2018, I used to be in an anti circle, whilst I actively didn't set out to harass people and kept myself out of direct involvement, the 'friends' I had at the time always found a way to drag me into things. This post will detail my experiences with Antis, Anti spaces and how I got out.

I have always used art therapy as a way to explore my trauma and take control of the situation. My therapist first started with advising me to write things down to get it out, then it moved onto messy scribbling. Before finally settling onto reading + creating transgressive art.

When interacting with this art, I have full control, I can 'leave' at any moment if I notice myself getting triggered and with my therapist, I found a great balance to figure out the difference between consuming to heal and consuming to self-harm. This is something I've done for years, not once did I encounter someone who had an issue with it IRL.

When I started to engage in online social circles especially for fandoms, it was around 2014, Back then it wasn't as often, mostly fanfiction/fanart and the occasional comment. It was 2015/6 when I started actively engaging and wanting to find a group of online friends.

Of course I stuck to finding friends in fandoms since It was much easier to discuss the source of the fandom with others and find friends from there, I eventually joined a GC and things were great.

Until it came to Fan created work.

In the GC, let's call them Jan, Jan would send over 'problematic' art into the chat, commenting on how disgusting it is, how the creator should be arrested, how everyone interacting positively are all 'sickos'. Jan was the most extreme one, they'd harass, bully and threaten any artist who created a piece of work who didn't follow Jan's black & white morals. Jan went on tangents in the GC about how fiction MUST be shown in XYZ way, how reading a fic with X topic and not being disgusted by it meant that you condoned said work.

I mostly ignored them at first, until others started to vocally join in and I was confronted about my thoughts on a certain piece of work, that everyone else knew, contained the topic of my abuse.

I was honest, telling them that I wasn't super fussed, I decided to open up on my methods of art therapy, hoping to give them some insight on why someone may create and consume this type of art.

They didn't like that one bit, for WEEKS since I opened up, they went on and on about how I had to stop, how through this art therapy, I was retraumatising myself, self-harming and condoning what was being reflected. Telling me how "worried" they were because they didn't want me to end up "destroying" my morals with such "icky" art.

It wasn't long until I gave in and believed what they were telling me, I still refused to be involved in their little harassment campaigns but they often used me as their token victim. Pulling me into a conversation directly so I could be a "listen to victims!" gotcha, this took a toll on my healing. Without my art therapy, I had no controlled or safe outlet for emotions, memories, triggers, etc. I started to spiral, finding myself deliberately searching 'proship' content to send to the GC. I didn't realise at the time that this was my brain trying to get me to use art therapy once again.

Then I couldn't take it any more, I was starting to feel urges to physically self-harm again, my deliberate searching for discourse to read was a more emotional and mental s/h. So I asked the GC to stop pulling me into discourse, to stop using my abuse stories for their personal gain.

Jan and a few other vocal 'antis' DESPISED that, for hours I was being bombarded by their disgusting words. They accused me of lying about my abuse, that I deserved it if it was true. They accused me of engaging in transgressive art therapy to prey on children, to manipulate others into thinking that was was being reflected in the artwork is okay. I felt so sick.

So I left, I left the GC, blocked them all, deleted my socials at that time and worked on getting a fresh start. Deep down, I knew they manipulated me, that I didn't truly believe a word they spewed regarding art.

I got back into my typical methods of coping, transgressive art therapy and worked on healing the damage they had done to me.

Things got much better after that, I finally had control again, I went to using a method of blocking anyone I come across who is an anti or shared a similar mentality, to avoid interactions as much as humanly possible.

Yes I make these tangent posts, but I can do that. My main goal is to cut off any possible direct interaction.

Funnily enough, a few months after this, one of them got in contact with me through what is actually their main account. I'll call them Feb. Feb was always quiet in the GC, not adding too much apart from the small comment and I got along well with Feb.

Feb came to me and told me how Jan and the others did the same thing to them long before I joined the GC, after I left rather vocally in the GC, Feb told me it inspired them to do the same.

Turns out, two other of the vocal antis, we will call them Mar and May. Actively interacted with that the GC called 'proship content'. Mar consumed it as a stress reliever but was in denial about it being the same thing me and Feb did, Mar insisted that. I don't know too much about Mar, but I believe Jan manipulated them too.

Jan was the main harasser afterall.

May instigated discourse as often as Jan, turns out that they purposely looked for 'proship' content to share to Jan, purposely angering themselves and directly arguing with artists. To me, this is a form of s/h.

Overall, that time period was one of the most toxic times in my life, it felt like I was constantly on eggshells, I'm so glad I got out when I could. There was more that Jan did, but I won't go into those details because they're private and directly involved details of my abuse. Which I don't really want to go into too much detail on my socmed.

But yeah this is a somewhat summary, it always scares me to learn from 'ex-antis' how they went through a similar path of manipulation as I did.

It's okay to be disturbed by certain fiction, it's okay to not like it. What's not okay is to get on this moral high ground about it. I've been interacting with this artwork for years. My morals haven't been altered by this fiction, because I already know my morals and stand by them.

[ablednt]

unsure if we asked already so, sorry, but - how long did it take u to tell anyone u were a system? including online friends… like from the time u first started figuring things out. we’re struggling with whether to tell a close friend…

Okay so for us we actually told quite a few people basically immediately (the moment we made contact with another headmate after some other systems walked us through everything)

We thought we could trust our friend group at the time even though they were primarily singlet because there was one system in the group already.

This was a HUGE MISTAKE!!!!! The ableism I faced as a result genuinely traumatized me to a point that I cannot describe and the only friends in that group I mantained were other systems who found out after I did and had a similar enough experience to me they didn't think I was faking (friend group unbeknownst to me, who knew very little about syscourse at the time, was full of sysmeds so these mostly singlets were ripping into me for having fictives at all and using plural kit while cocon with other headmates. Yeah it's ridiculous.)

After that to tell anyone else in my life it took a long time, even for singlet friends who were much closer and more trusted than this friend group who I'd cherished for many years I was terrified of being rejected by and fakeclaimed. It took I think 3-5 more agonizing months before I could tell the two close singlet friends I have (they were and are very confused about it I think but are accepting so that's good enough for me)

Then after about a year and a half? The bodys mom was getting into spirituality and the like and since on top of being disordered we're a spiritual system I saw an opportunity to describe systemhood in a none pathologized way and this worked out in my favor. I wouldn't exactly call the family accepting (I told them to treat me like I'm singlet bc they'll die if they're inconvenienced by me even slightly) but it was a HUGE step because I genuinely thought before this point if I'd ever let them catch on we were plural they'd try to physically harm me because of ableist comments they'd made in the past.

Nowadays I'm out to everyone online (not irl tho but i have no irl friends or contacts atm really) and even then I really don't have more than a few singlet friends because it is the sad truth the most singlets avoid systems who refuse to minimize their systemhood to be more palatable.

Being out comes at the price of making many friends but for me this was more freeing than anything because now I don't waste my time on people who won't respect us. But it's fully up to you if that's what you want.

But yeah it's a HUGE decision to come out as a system to anyone and unless you want to just weed out any ableists in one go I suggest you take it real slow and look for opportunitys to segway into it in a way that puts people at ease like I did with the mom.

And it's also okay if you never want to come out, if it doesn't bother you + your headmates then ypu don't owe anyone shit you can live life around others as a singlet and not have to worry about it. Only if that's what you want though, don't pressure yourselves into that because you're worried.

About your worries with a friend in addition to finding an opportune moment for it, I suggest testing the waters by introducing plurality as a concept divorced from you first. Talk about a friend who's plural (if you don't have any who are out you can make one up or you have permission to call us a friend and talk about us.) Or be like "I found out about this cool thing from (you can list any open plural here really like again my blog or another blog on here or if you want something a little more medicalized but still inclusive there's the rings system on YouTube/twitter etc. Just avoid anyone into syscourse or any sysmeds even if you're a disordered system because they actively recruit singlets and turn them against even the most standard of DID/OSDD systems lmao) or something like that to gauge their reaction and get a taste of how they might treat you.

[coochiequeens]

WHEN I CAME out as trans at 49, I knew there were many battles ahead of me. I didn’t expect email would be what made it clear I did not belong.

Shortly after transitioning, I took an engineering role at a tech company where I’d worked previously. I was excited to return. On orientation day, I waited in line watching other new hires receive a laptop, find a seat, and set up their accounts. When it was my turn, the employee checking me in gave me a puzzled look: My email account somehow already existed, but with someone else’s name. “Well,” I said, “I transitioned while I was gone. I used to have a different name.” The employee, caught off guard, apologized and then went to talk to her manager. When she returned, she told me it was not possible to update the name on my account. I would have to use my previous email address with my deadname. The system was not designed for someone like me.

I explained that using my deadname wasn’t acceptable. It would confuse my new coworkers and ensure that my first conversation with them would be about my gender identity and not my new job.

For the rest of the morning, while I waited for a solution, I watched my fellow new employees receive welcome emails from colleagues and managers and continue with onboarding. The problem was straightened out thanks to my persistent manager, but I already felt behind and like I wasn’t a priority. No one should feel excluded on their first day of work, and I doubt any organization wants their new hires to feel that way.

Transitioning came with so much at stake, from how it would impact my family and my loved ones to what it meant for my career. Email is the last thing that I, or any trans person, should have to worry about.

Many trans people face similar difficulties updating workplace systems where their names and genders appear. Often, these systems can’t be edited, are tied to legal documents, or offer narrow options. These limitations make it difficult—often painfully so—for trans and nonbinary employees to fully focus on their jobs and contribute to their organizations.

Tech companies are known for being cutting-edge, for driving impact and change. I’ve spent my life working toward these goals at some of the most exciting companies in the world. Yet even at the most ambitious, forward-looking among them, fundamental platforms like email and HR are failing trans and nonbinary employees. Tech companies, which pride themselves on using technology to solve problems and offering the best possible work cultures, should be pioneering the solution. Many of these companies are vocally supportive of LGBTQ+ employees and update their logos with rainbow colors each June. Many even provide supportive benefits and crucial employee resource groups. But despite even good intentions, their HR systems say something different entirely: that a subset of people is at best an afterthought.

Organizations cannot wait until they encounter their “first” nonbinary or transitioning employees to ensure their HR systems are inclusive and supportive. Can you imagine a benefits package that allows for only one child, because no current employee has more than one child? Or HR software that can’t accommodate an employee birth date earlier than 1990, because no one older has ever worked there?Workplace systems and software must allow employees to define themselves, instead of being defined by presumptions about gender, pronouns, and legal names. Building inclusivity as a default should also apply to authentication systems, communications tools, and productivity software. It should be easy to not only change personal information and profile photos but also to remove past references to information like pronouns or names.

This problem is not unique to workplace tech. Updating names and pronouns is a painstakingly difficult process across legal documentation, publications, and online accounts. For example, in the coding world, an engineer cannot change the name associated with their git commits (which save progress on a coding project and allow others to contribute) without rewriting the history of everything they’ve built. User IDs should be changeable without an employee losing access to their profiles. If the technology does not yet exist to make this possible, it’s time we start building it.

The dude established his career in tech as a man and now he’s upset that an email ”dead names” him? Did he feel like a woman before reaching 49? If yes did he do anything to combat sexual discrimination in the workplace ? And he wants to address the issue of “deadnames” by making it easier for people to rewrite their history?

[anon-confesses]

In this past quarantine I've lost both of who I considered to be my best friends. It hurt, but that's not where I want to start. I want to start two years before that. I was friends with friend A and friend B. They knew each other before me, they had been basically childhood best friends. I, on the other hand, had just lost my best friend (E) of 7 years due to faltering connection. I knew the people around me, and they were friendly to me and I was friendly to them. I wasn't friends with anyone though, no one to really hang out with. Then I joined the "gifted program" where I met friend A and friend B (although friend B lived close by and we shared a bus seat, so we'd technically met before. Just hadn't talked)

We were good friends, I was invited over and it never felt like I was the third wheel. I rode the bus with friend B and did many projects with friend A- we were super close. Anyone would tell you that.

Then they started dating. You probably know how this one goes but let me tell you regardless. They started to date, and I was happy for them! They really liked each other and I was still invited over for friend things, although they'd invite others too so it wasn't me third wheeling a lot. Friend A was very clingy, like physically. Friend B was very introverted and didn't like PDA. They ended up breaking up over this, but no hard feelings- for a while that is.

I stay close friends with friend A and friend B and I kinda stray, to the type of relationship I mentioned before- not really friends but nice to each other.

Then I meet friend C. Friend C also lives close to me, so we hang out often. Then I introduce friend C to friend A. Through theater friend C meets friend B (important later). Friend C, A, and I become a trio. Super close friends who have a group chat together and talk a lot.

Friend B starts dating someone else, we get into an argument with the duo not because of past relationships but because they were doing something dangerous and I was really worried, maybe overbearingly so. This is where things start to change.

Friend B and their boyfriend become friends with friend C. They keep their distance from friend A and this is when I learn the breakup was a little messy, nothing extreme (yet) though. Then the groupchat friend C, A, and I have starts to go quiet. I'm the only person talking in chat. I think it's because I talk too much about myself so I try to talk about other things too, yet no response. Although if friend A or C says something the chat will burst alive. It's odd and a little isolating but I brush it off.

About a month before disaster strikes, in the eye of the storm friend A tells me they talk with friend C /everyday/. For hours in dms. Everyday I had sent a message, everyday I hadn't, it didn't matter they would talk for hours in their dms about things they never told me about. It hurt, but I was glad my friends were getting along. I was glad to have my friends.

Then, they fight. It's not a normal one either. Friend B accuses friend A of something really, really horrible. Friend C sides with them and I have no clue what the fuck is even going on because no one bothered to tell me anything except that the other person is lying about them. I'm really stressed, then it comes out they had talked about me to other people. Used me as an argument point. "Friend A didn't care for anon" and "Friend C said you were an awful person" and the such. I was struggling with school at this time due to my disability and depression. Something neither of them had ever listened to me about. Because they never talked to me. I don't take sides and ghost them both.

Then, a light shines in this dark friendship tunnel. Friend T. We met online and had a similar interest over a game and quickly became close friends. I would tell my older sibling about T all the time. And, if you can't tell where this is going already, I introduced them to each other.

T and my sibling got along amazingly. They were only two years apart (both older than me) and also had similar interests and experiences. I was happy, I had two amazing friends (even if one of them was my sibling) who didn't care that I rambled endlessy about a game or something.

Then, friend T stopped really talking to me- not out of hate or anything just cause I wasn't there or I wasn't up when they were but my sibling was. Soon talking about things I liked felt like a burden to both of them. Soon both of them kept dming each other and bringing up things about the other I didn't know. I felt betrayed, my sibling had known about my past friendships and friend T had known I had rocky friendships in the past. But still, neither talked to me about the things I liked. Then I sat my sibling down, and I explained how I felt.

They cried. I felt so much hatred in that moment, how could they cry over something they'd never experienced, over innocently trying to make a friend that just happened to be mine too. I told them I didn't care that they were friends but I felt excluded. They said they were trying to hang out with me more so I didn't feel that way. I felt sick. They were the one to say T was like another sibling. At this point, I don't think I have it in me to care anymore. I know they won't run off together but I can't stop feeling like I was stabbed in the back, betrayed. No matter what they do I'll always feel like the third wheel, or a burden at best.

It almost feels like I've been cursed, that I'll never be able to have a friend that isn't taken away from me. But the worst part of it all is all of it started with good intentions. With people liking me and wanting to be friends with me. They just happened to connect better and be friends better with someone else. Nothing was to hurt me. All I wanted was for them to get along and I guess I got what I wanted for the most part. I guess I'm throwing myself a pity party or whatever. I'm glad though, that I can make others happy. Even if it makes me unhappy and betrayed. They have people who love and care for them.

I'm sorry, E. Be at peace for me, please.

Sorry for the long rant.

.

[existentialstatesofmind]

Opening Up

Clare: had read stories about the Japanese mafia claiming to be humanitarian groups that keep order in Japan. “I’m sure most of it is made up. But the mob knows how to fake running legitimate enterprises. They have office buildings, business cards, the whole works. It would be easy to get in over your head! Now I want to borrow a manga about that.” She laughed. “I guess that means boys aren’t allowed to take home ec at all? According to the paperwork Simpson handed out, it’s compulsory for girls.” She already had a feeling sexism and gender roles would need to be the topic of one of her articles. “How embarrassing. Don’t worry, I won’t take it personally and make Nastsumi feel worse.” Clare smiled at the thought of being ‘average’. “In that case, I’ll wait for Japan to buy new pants so they’ll be the right length for once.” She nodded. “I’m in no hurry and I can come back if you want me to since Emi has plans.” Clare offered. They were only going to spend a couple of hours at the mall. She kissed him again and again with more passion even though she wasn’t trying to change his mind. Soon as he stopped, Clare let go of him and blushed. “I wasn’t offering to buy lingerie. Just satin cami and shorts sets.” She expected him to sneak into her room for cuddles and making out. Nothing more. Clare smirked at Kota as she got into his car. “Why would I freak out? I didn’t even know who Yohio was. Still don’t really…” She trailed off uncertainly. Clare could’ve found out anything she wanted to know about him online but she didn’t feel comfortable violating his privacy. “Can’t be a model. A designer? Maybe an actress...West Drive’s studio isn’t far from here.” She guessed. Clare knew Murder Bunny was popular locally and in Japan, but she had no idea anyone famous would make a special trip to pick up dresses from Kota. When he helped her out and mentioned it again, she giggled. “I’m not going to embarrass you.” She still wasn’t taking his ‘warning’ seriously. So Clare had to bit down on her lip to suppress a scream when she saw who was waiting for him. She saw a picture on Instagram yesterday of Melanie Martinez’s latest split-dyed hair color, blue on the right side of her head and black on the left. The girl hugging Kota looked identical to the singer, she had the nose ring, tattoos, dark lipstick everything. Clare stared at the older girl as much as she could without breaking her promise. It couldn’t really be THE Melanie Martinez? Kota never let on he was on a first name basis with a big star. Not a single hint all the times they’d listened to her music. What if she’d said not today when he suggested giving her tour?! Clare knew what an endorsement from Melanie meant for MB and she didn’t want to act like a crazy fan so she only smiled at Melanie when he introduced them. “Hi, it’s a pleasure to meet you. I relate to your songs so much, and I love the fairy tale elements like the big bad wolf being a metaphor for something much darker.”

Kota: looked at Clare when she mentioned the manga. "I can see if I can find some for you. I mainly read manga on an app called Manga Meow and most of them were recommended to me. Others just seemed interesting. Just watch what you ready because some are more twisted than others. I do read some dark and twisted ones, but there have been some that were too dark for me to read." he explained and looked at her. "No, but that's mainly our fault. We were invited to join in home ec when the calligraphy teacher was absent, but it didn't go too well. Tanakashi-san ate most of the batter Nakashimi was working on, some boys left in the middle saying it was boring. A few of the boys just slept allowing the girls to make the cookies from them and in the middle of the class Kodomo-san's oven caught fire so we were kicked out for our own good and we're not allowed. I wasn't able to go to the class since the teacher didn't know English and I didn't know Japanese at the time." he chuckled and smiled at her. "Thank you. Tanakashi-san accidentally sets off her anxiety, but at the same time he's helping her with it. They're dating and since they've started dating, she no longer locks herself in lockers and has become more outspoken." he assured. "But there are still some things she's afraid to say. She'll keep it in till the very end, yell it out, then bow as an apology for being loud." he laughed a bit and squeezed her hand when she mentioned buying pants in Japan. "The girls don't wear pants in Japan like ever. There are pants in some styles such as Visual Kei for girls." he laughed. "Sorry I imagined you in the pants and dressed in the Visual Kei style. Visual Kei style is their version of Goth only more dramatic in some aspects or like our Punk rock clothing. All black with chains and bondage belts on the pants, but not too many girls wear the pants even dressed in Visual Kei, they prefer skirts. Other than that your only option is skirts. In the winter girls wear cotton leggings with fleece on the inside." he explained. "I mean I did do an online poll to see how many girls would wear pants in Japan and only like 3 said they would out of millions of girls that took the poll so I'm not making MB pants for girls in Japan, but in some comments they said only Yankee's would wear pants. Yankee is an insult to a Japanese woman, but they'd call you a Yankee because you are, it's basically a term for people who live on this side of the country." he explained and smiled as she spoke. "Ok good because I plan on sneaking in your room once Emi goes to sleep. Also no one knows I'm a virgin in Japan, it's kind of like here. If people found out I'm a virgin I'd have girls offer to sleep with me and guys try to help get me laid. Not too many guys are virgins in Japan after 14 and if you are it's considered an anomaly." he explained. "Girls are the same in some aspects. Most girls lose their virginity at 15 and those that don't lie about it most of the time." he shrugged. "Girls and guys are on a similar level in that aspect." he added. When Clare spoke to Melanie, Kota suppressed a laugh and turned his head to the side away from Clare for a moment. "I'm happy to hear that, Kota did tell me you're a fan." she said and shook Clare's hand before moving beside Kota as they started walking. "So I made the dress with the shoes in mind." he said as she took the shoe box out of the bag and handed him the bag, then the lid holding the shoes in hand. "I love them." she smiled and hugged him again before walking again. "I figured you might." he chuckled. "Did you get a call from Johnny Depp yet?" Mel asked looking up at him. "Why would I get a call from Johnny Depp?" he asked curiously. "Because Johnny Depp was on Jimmy Falon and Jimmy asked for his most memorable fan experience. He told the story of how he met you and your cousin in the UK and how he lectured you both on the plane and called your parents." Melanie laughed. "Mel, that's not funny. To this day I'm still forbidden to get a debit card and I have to show my mom the inside of my wallet when I get home to prove I don't have an obscene amount of cash and it's the same with my brothers now. They kind of hate both of us for it." he explained. "Or they could be mad you came up with the idea first. Besides how does a child obtain enough money to afford two tickets to the UK, a nice hotel room, and food for the two weeks you were there?" she asked. "I cleaned out my bank account. And we would've stayed longer if Johnny didn't ask us about our parents. They didn't even realize we were missing either. Genre was staying at a friend's house and my twin was pretending to be me every now and then." he explained. "Well, he knows your full name since Jimmy saw the picture and said 'Oh that's Dakota Anderson he's the head of Murder Bunny.' and showed off a pair of MB socks he was wearing on his show saying how much he loves them. He also told everyone how he owns an MB jacket too. He has the black varsity one." she explained. "I should get my assistant to find his number and call him asking if he wants me to personalize it for him." he muttered. "Do it! He'll freak out you so need to do it while I'm here and on speaker phone." she exclaimed as they got to his office. "Later?" he asked. "Ok, do you want to go bowling after?" she asked. "I wouldn't mind, but Clare's going to the mall with her friend at some point today." he explained as he got her dresses. "You didn't tell me this on the phone." she said. "You asked if I'm free." he trailed. "Can Kota and I pick you up from the mall then?" Mel asked looking at Clare.