#because of calling them cheaters or whatever while live

[captain-lonagan]

.

[wooahaes]

svt - pick-up lines

pairing: non-idol!svt x gn!reader

prompt: reader hitting on their partner with pick-up lines. for funsies.

genre: fluff. comedy? this is so silly.

warnings: bad pick-up lines. goofy silly hours teehee!! established relationship in all of these.

daisy’s notes: ive had these plans for a while. this is just me enjoying pick-up lines. theyre so silly goofy sometimes.

choi seungcheol

“cheollie,” you called out from your end of the couch. he looked up from his phone with a hum, and you kept a straight face. “do you believe in love at first sight?”

to your surprise, he mused over the question for a minute. “what? i don’t know, i think--”

you spoke up over him, trying to quell your urge to laugh: “do you believe in love at first sight, or should i walk by again?”

and he stared at you, brows furrowing together before it clicked. ah. you must have found pick-up lines online or something. “honey. we’ve been dating for two years. you don’t need to hit on me like this--”

“answer the question, cheollie!”

“no!” he laughed, “if you’re going to hit on me, then do one that makes sense!” 

yoon jeonghan

jeonghan hummed as he focused on cooking dinner... yet he heard the telltale sound of you making your way over, and glanced up. “hi, honey,” he said, before going back to his work. “it’ll only be a little longer--”

“hey. jeonghan.” he could hear the way you’re trying not to crack up over whatever you were about to say. “i hope you know CPR... because you’re taking my breath away.”

he looked up, half-expecting to see you holding your camera up, but instead you’re just smiling like an idiot. at least you’re his idiot, if anything. he gave you the tiniest once-over, before going back to his work. “your hand looks heavy... can i hold it for you?”

and immediately you cringed--something he caught out of the corner of his eye--causing him to laugh.

“you won’t win!” he said, looking at you. “i memorized some the moment i saw you googling them last night!”

“you cheater!” you said through your giggles, making your way over to steal a kiss from him. “ugh, you’re so mean!”

he chuckled against your lips instead. “and you’re still laughing.”

joshua hong

joshua had been doing the dishes when you sidled up to him with this goofy smile on your face. he glanced up for a moment, about to ask why you were smiling so hard all of a sudden, only for you to speak up.

“are you from tennessee--”

“babe. i’m literally from california,” he chuckled.

“no, shh,” you reached up to cover his mouth, “you’re ruining it--”

he chuckled, pulling your hand away, “i know.” and he abandoned his work, turning to you as he laned in. “and i’m gonna keep ruining it--”

“what? no!” you whined, “you’re so mean--just let me finish the line--”

he kissed you anyway, giggling when he felt you smile against his lips. when you started to try to finish the line when he pulled away, he merely kissed you again.

(you weren’t going to finish the line... but you didn’t mind it so much when every attempt was met with a kiss).

wen junhui

jun had been curled up on the couch, a book in his hands when he heard you call out to him.

“jun. junnie.” he looked up to see you approaching, phone in hand. “if i were a cat...” you looked up, smiling hard, “i’d spend all nine lives with you.”

oh no. oh NO. you were CUTE. maybe the pickup line was silly as hell, but you were adorable and it made him start to giggle. he buried his face in his book. “i thought we were past this stage!”

“are you a cat?” you pulled the book down as you crawled over, “because you’re purrrrfect--”

again, he started to giggle over your silly pickup lines. of course you’d pick cat ones. this man had a weakness sometimes and it was cats. the fact that you looked incredibly pleased with yourself only made this worse (or better? jun couldn’t tell which: your joy was great, but how was he supposed to live after this?).

counter attack time. he dived forward, quickly kissing you before breaking into more giggles. “are you happy now?”

with a giggle, you leaned forward, about to kiss him again. “very.”

kwon soonyoung

“soonyoung!”

your boyfriend looked up from where he was getting a drink from the fridge, suddenly caught off guard. did he do something? or... maybe you asked him for something and he was about to forget it? soonyoung could be a little forgetful, and usually you approaching him like this either meant he forgot something, or he did something. slowly, he pushed the fridge close, still staring you down..

“if you were a song,” you said, “you’d be the best single on the album.”

the fridge shut, and he could hear that hiss of it being sealed back as he continued to stare at you. wait. single? “are you breaking up with me?”

“what? no, soonie, i’m hitting on you.”

what the fuck were you talking about...? “honey... we’re already dating.”

“soonyoung--”

“ohh, right,” he twisted the tap of his water bottle. he lifted it to take a sip, pausing long enough to finish the thought, “you’re still bad at flirting.”

“soonyoung!”

he set the bottle aside as he made his way to you, “it’s okay,” he giggled. he reached out, pulling you into his arms. “i still love you and your bad pick-up lines.”

jeon wonwoo

wonwoo had been standing in the middle of the bookstore when you suddenly approached him, giggling. he could see from the twinkle in your eyes that you had something planned, and you reached out, patting his arm with a “hey, hey, wonwoo,” that told him immediately you’d been distracted while looking up the book you were looking for.

“yes?”

“on a scale from one to ten,” you said, “you’re a nine, and i’m the one you need--”

wonwoo blinked at you. “you’re not a one, though.”

immediately, your head shot up as you stared at him, suddenly embarrassed. as you swat at his arm, with a pouty “wonwoooo,” wonwoo giggled at you.

“you’re so cute,” he said. “did you find the book we’re looking for?”

he could see the light bulb over your head as you went wide-eyed, suddenly reminded your mission. “oh, right!”

lee jihoon

“jihoonie?” you called out, immediately getting your boyfriend’s attention as he was comparing two boxes of cereal. “if you were words on a page... you’d be fine print.”

... what the hell? he just stared at you, saying nothing as he tried to figure out what you were doing. was soonyoung around the corner? had you run into him and he pitched this idea...? or maybe it had been vernon. or mingyu. or... honestly, he had a lot of friends who teased him because his face went bright red whenever you teased him.

“if you were a vegetable,” you continued to read off of your phone, “you’d be a cute-cumber.”

this was even more confusing. he could see you were smiling. were you planning something? this had to be a prank. his face kept growing warmer by the second: of course you’d find cute pick-up lines to use on him. you didn’t even do this when the two of you started dating.

“if you were a fruit--”

“why are you hitting on me? we’re already dating.”

you had smiled to yourself again, that twinkle in your eye telling him that you were about to tease him again. yet when you looked up, you saw how red his face was getting. no point in letting this go to waste. “you’d be a fine-apple,” you finished.

and that immediately netted you jihoon whining at you with a quiet “stop, i’m going to die and then you won’t have a boyfriend anymore. do you want me to die?”

(... and of course, that meant you’d hit him with an angel-themed pick-up line minutes later after you found a suitable one.)

lee seokmin

"hey. are you a chicken?”

seokmin looked up from where he was sprawled out on the couch, scrolling through his social media on this lazy afternoon. he furrowed his brow, thinking over your words again. you knew as well as anyone else that seokmin wasn’t the greatest with stuff like horror movies. he clung to you the entire time you went to a haunted house with him, after all. “i--”

“because you’re im-peck-able.”

he snorted after a moment, already smiling. “ah--really? you’re hitting on me like this?” he paused after a moment. “... aren’t you tired?”

you giggled, “nope! i still have more--”

“because you’ve been running through my mind all day.”

immediately, you yelled before diving forward, burying your face in his shirt. “that’s not fair!”

he laughed, bringing you into his arms as he sat up. “joshua told me that one once,” he giggled, “and i thought i missed my chance to use it on you.”

oh, of course he wanted to use it on you. what a dork. at least he was your dork.

kim mingyu

mingyu had been in the middle of cooking dinner when he heard you come in. he called out to you, asking how your day had gone. you’d made conversation easily enough as you slipped out of your shoes and into your house slippers, making your way into the kitchen. you leaned against the counter, watching him drop long noodles into boiling water.

“gyu.” yet when he merely hummed in response, you called his name again until he looked at you. “are you parents bakers?”

he furrowed his brows. “what? you know what my parents do, we’ve--”

“because you’re a cutie pie.”

he stared at you for a moment, words sinking in before he threw his head back and laughed. the pick-up line wasn’t so funny as much as it was his love for you that made him laugh. mingyu was utterly and entirely endeared to you in every way, and that included laughing at your silly little jokes. before you could even try to say another one, he made his way over to you, pulling you into his arms and kissing you.

“you’re so cute,” he giggled.

“it wasn’t that funny, you know,” you wrapped your arms around him. you’d save the other pick-up lines for later.

he squeezed you tight. “it was. because it was yours,” he said, giggling again. “really... i love you. you’re so cute.” he let go of you, stepping back to watch dinner. “dinner should be ready soon, by the way.”

you smiled, leaning against the counter once more. “i almost said something about your cake, you know--”

(which only earned you him yelling, laughing a little as he did so. god, he loved you.)

xu minghao

minghao had called out for you to come in once he heard you knock on the door of his art studio, and he’d nodded to you politely as you came in. without thinking twice, he continued his work, now acutely aware of the audience he had. he didn’t mind working in front of you--he trusted you to know that art was a process and the vision truly came together toward the end.

“hao?” you asked, sounding genuinely confused. “did you do something to my eyes?”

he furrowed his brows, looking over to where you were standing. “no? is something wrong--”

“because i can’t take them off of you.”

immediately, all concern for you evaporated because he saw the way you were smiling, the way you barely concealed your giggles now that he was looking at you. “are you done?”

your smile faltered. “oh. sorry, are you busy? i didn’t mean to--”

he giggled a moment later, so soft and airy. you’d always told him he had a cute laugh. “you don’t have to flirt with me,” he said, beckoning you over. he leaned in, pressing a kiss against your cheek. “i’m already yours.” 

boo seungkwan

seungkwan had been sitting across from you, coffee sitting in front of him, as he scrolled through one of his social media accounts. he’d been looking for a specific post to show you, listening to you ramble on about your day as he searched.

“hey. do you have a name?” you asked all of a sudden, immediately earning a confused look from seungkwan. “or can i just call you mine?”

his nose wrinkled as he gave you this look of disgust. “what? we’re already dating. what are you talking about?” he paused, looking around. “is someone recording this?”

you just giggled, watching him. “did the sun come out? or did you just smile at me?”

seungkwan, who was very much not smiling at you, actually cracked one at that one. “really? should i wait for you to be done?”

“yes.” you glanced back down at your phone, “do you play soccer? because you look like a keeper--”

seungkwan grabbed his coffee, getting up to leave you there. he heard your “hey!” as he walked away, smiling to himself. all too soon, you’d chased after him, taking your hand in his.

“i’m done,” you giggled. “but you are, y’know. a keeper.”

“i know,” he smiled, squeezing your hand. “and i’m yours, too.”

he’d have to find a pick-up line to use on you later, just to give you a taste of your own medicine... you’ll just never see it coming.

chwe vernon

vernon knew you were up to... something. you’d been skulking around, this devious smile on your face as you wandered to and fro, giggling to yourself. at first, he thought this had to be some kind of ‘look at this costume i bought our child’ (your cat) deal, since that had happened before (which was why you owned a sonic the heggehog onesie for said cat). yet you had leaned over the couch, watching him for a moment.

“hey.”

he raised a brow. “hey?”

“if you and i were socks, we’d make a great pair.”

he rolled his eyes, settling back into the couch. “i think we’d have like. a sick pattern, too, actually.”

you pouted slightly, apparently not satisfied with his reaction. “if you were a triangle,” you said, recovering well enough, “you’d be acute one.”

he looked up at you again. “babe, i don’t remember geometry.”

“oh my god.” you buried your face in your hands for a moment. again, you recovered. “hey. what’s it like to be the most gorgeous person in the room?”

“i dunno,” he leans up, “what’s it like?”

you shoved your face into your hands again, letting out a groan as he laughed. this was what you got for leaving your phone open to a page of pick-up lines with a boyfriend who was more than ready to beat you at your own game. he’d only hoped you’d try to hit him with something like that last one.

“vernonnnn,” you drew out his name in a whine. “i hate you.”

he giggled, leaning up to pull one of your hands away from your face, and pressed a kiss against your cheek. “love you too,” he giggled.

lee chan

chan had been standing by the produce when you came back to him with the bread, setting it into your cart. he stood right where you had hoped he would be, looking over sweet potatoes since they were on your grocery list.

“hey. channie.”

he merely hummed in response, setting another sweet potato into the bag.

“if you were a potato,” you nod toward the one in his hand, “you’d be a sweet potato.”

he looked up, a little confused. “okay? thank you?”

“if i could rearrange the alphabet--”

“oh no.”

“--i’d put U and I together.”

chan let out a sigh, a smile breaking out as he hung his head for a minute. he looked at you again, still smiling. “are there more? i’ll wait if there are.”

you just wrapped your arm around his, pressing your side against his. “nope,” you said. “just wanted to see your face.”

he chuckled, shifting just enough that he could comfortably continue gathering sweet potatoes. “you didn’t put these on the list so you could use that line, right?”

“nope,” you hummed. “just seized the opportunity.”

he chuckled. “good to know,” he planted a quick peck on your cheek, still smiling to himself. at least he found you cute.

taglist: @twancingyunhao​ @synthetickitsune​ @wonuziex​ @gyulbabie​

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for believing my sibling is a cheater and a liar?

This situation is so fucking wild and I never thought anything like this would happen to me, but here we are. Background info: I (F late 20s) have 2 siblings (F early 20s and NB30s). Me and my younger sister Lee (fake name) live together and our oldest sibling Lane lives with their husband Bryan (fake names). They've been together for 8 years and married for 4, and they have a toddler son together.

4 days ago Lane came over to our house with their son and their bags and said Bryan had been cheating on them with a coworker and when they confronted him he threw them and their kid out on the street. Obviously we rallied around Lane. We let them move in, I offered to watch my nephew while they worked, and Lee started blasting Bryan for being a cheater on social media while I just blocked him.

Then yesterday Bryan came knocking on our door while Lane was at work and it was me and my sister's day off. We yelled at Bryan through the door that he was trespassing and we'd call the cops if he didn't leave. Bryan said he had proof that Lane had lied to us. That they were the ones who cheated and they left when he called them out on it.

We decided to go outside and hear him out rather than let him inside and he showed us a binder full of printed out call logs and text conversations that seemed to indicate Lane was indeed cheating with a coworker. He had the usual story you always hear. Lane was acting distant and was always on their phone, spending more time at work, coming home at odd hours, etc. So he checked their phone when they were in the shower and found the texts, so he started gathering evidence. He would wait until Lane was asleep to send pictures of their texts to his phone and set up cameras to catch Lane in the act. Sure enough it took less than 3 days before he caught Lane bringing their coworker over to have sex.

This is where, imo, it gets weird. To me the text messages and the assurance that Bryan had pictures and videos was enough. But my little sister Lee said she didn't believe him and wanted to see the videos. He said he didn't bring them with him and wouldn't show anyone if he did, because legally that would be considered revenge porn and he didn't want to do that to Lane, nor did he want those legal complications in the upcoming divorce. The only reason he was telling us was so we wouldn't hate him for something he didn't do, because he still had to be in our lives for his son's sake.

Lee kept insisting she wouldn't believe Lane would do something like that and wouldn't believe it until she saw their face during the act which sounded really fucking creepy to me and I told her so. Why the hell would she want to see our sibling having sex? Lee said it was suspicious that Bryan suddenly had all this evidence after Lane caught him cheating. I said a cheater would obviously lie to cover their tracks. Lee just yelled that I wasn't being loyal and since I was so protective of Bryan I was probably screwing him too, and she locked me out of the house.

Bryan apologized for the drama he caused and left, and I had to sit outside for 3 more hours until Lane got home and unlocked the door with their key (I had left mine inside and Lee wouldn't let me back in). I confronted Lane about what Bryan said but they just started crying that I believed their "manipulative ex" over them. I said Bryan had proof, they didn't, and they just kept sobbing. Lee called me an asshole and disloyal again.

I wanna be clear: I still wanna be there for my sibling no matter what. I won't kick them out or disown them or whatever even if they did cheat, I just don't wanna cut Bryan off completely if he didn't even do anything wrong. I tried telling Lane that, but it makes them just break into tears and beg me to believe them and Lee keeps saying I broke a sacred bond and family should always believe family, and it's making me start to doubt myself. AITA?

[simphellscape]

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 12TH, 2020- 5:24PM // SUNDAY, DECEMBER 13TH, 2020 - 2:38AM // next | tw: alcohol, horny bird pt. 2

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 13TH, 2020 - 2:38AM

“Cheater!” Kei exclaims, scattering several UNO cards across the floor, “You’re -hic- cheating.”

He pouts dramatically, throwing himself against the living room carpet. This childish display has you cackling. Perhaps he’s a bit too drunk, but it doesn’t matter because so are you.

“Can we play a different game, please?” he pleads, slurring.

“It’s not my fault that I’m a god, Kei!”

“If I wasn’t drunk, you’d be a goner.”

“You said five minutes ago that you aren’t even drunk!”

“I’m not!”

“Liar!”

“Different game!” he bellows, still throwing a tantrum.

You reach over and flick the back of his head. Even though you’re hammered, you still manage to land it squarely in the center. His head flies off the floor to face you, honey eyes narrowed.

“You’re dead, (Y/L/N).”

One of his feathers darts toward you, aiming directly for your exposed ribs. You know this game far too well, and while you could easily avoid his attack, you secretly enjoy this kind of attention. In a way, it’s like he’s touching you. That’s what you tell yourself, anyway.

You leap to your feet and begin sprinting in the direction of your bedroom, but the feather is simply too fast. Before you can even make it through the door, it’s teasing the sensitive area, causing you to convulse with defeat. You, unfortunately, are being tickled within an inch of your life.

“K-Kei!” you shout, breathless and laughing, “Stop it!”

“No, you flicked me!”

You crash into the wall and slide to the floor, feather never leaving your side.

“I’m gonna pee!”

“You shoulda thought of that before you flicked me, then!”

“I -- fuck -- I’m sorry!”

“What? Can’t hear you. Speak up!”

“I’M SORRY!”

“That’s what I thought,” he says, a fake threatening tone to his voice.

With that, the feather zips back into the fold of his wings, bumping into a lamp on the way. You stay slumped against the wall, attempting to catch your breath. Meanwhile, Kei has raised himself to a relaxed sitting position on the living room floor.

“Now, a different game, please,” he smiles.

“Fine, crybaby.”

“Watch it, or I’ll tickle you again!”

“Nooo!” you whine, returning to your spot on the living room carpet with a graceless thump.

“I have an idea!” Kei gasps.

“Shoot.”

“How about, um, Truth or Dare, but, like, with alcohol! Like you take a shot if you don’t wanna do your truth… or your dare… or whatever.”

“I didn’t realize we were sixteen years old.”

He calls a feather to hover dangerously close to your ribcage once again.

“Jesus, alright! Just put that shit away.”

He smirks with satisfaction as the torture device returns to its crimson plume.

“I’ll go first!”

“Hold on, let me get the vodka,” you grumble, hoisting yourself up.

As you hobble to the kitchen, Kei begins the game anyway.

“Truth or dare?”

“Let’s do truth,” you decide after a moment, returning with the bottle of vodka.

“You’re no fun,” he pouts, considering his options, “Hmm…. oh! Okay, so, you’ve got good aim.”

“Yeah. Truth or dare?”

“I WASN’T DONE YET!”

“I’m teasing, Kei! Someone’s touchy.”

“Leave me alone,” he growls, “I wanted to know what your quirk really is. Because I don’t think that’s all.”

“Yeah, that’s not all. All of my senses -- you know, sight, hearing, whatever -- are better than a normal person’s. Not all of them are the same amount of better though! My sight is the best, and then touch, then -hic- hearing, smell, and taste. It kinda sucked at first, but I worked really hard to make it worth something, ya know? I even got an ultimate move out of it!”

Kei’s mouth is hanging open in real, but overexaggerated shock.

“Really? Show me!”

“It’s not really something I can show you…”

“Oh. Well, can you, like, tell me about it then?”

At this, Kei scooches closer towards you, eyes widening even further.

“I just, um, focus more, and it makes my senses almost perfect. Like they’re great on their own, but with more focus it gets to the point where, like, I can tell what people are gonna do before they’re finished doing it. It’s like -- ‘oh, I can hear their pinky toe moving in their shoe, they’re probably gonna take a step’. It gives me a migraine when I’m done though.”

Kei nods and begins the long, arduous process of standing up.

“Okay, so I’m gonna get up and then I’m gonna do something totally unexpected. You gotta say what I’m gonna do.”

“I just told you it makes my head hurt, birdbrain!”

“But I wanna seeeeee!”

“You can see it later! I don’t think I can do it right now, anyway. I’m drunk.”

He rolls his eyes and crosses his arms across his chest.

You learned from your last time drinking together that when Kei drinks, he often wants to play some sort of game. And when he’s drunk and playing a game, one of two things can happen. One, he gets extremely competitive. This is what happened last time, when he flipped your game of LIFE off of your coffee table. Or, two, he becomes a big, mopey baby, which is what’s happening right now. You know it’s all in jest, and while it’s slightly annoying, it’s mostly endearing. You can’t wait to remind him about this tomorrow. If you’re even able to remember, that is.

“Truth or dare?”

“I’m gonna pick dare, because I’m not a loser,” he mocks.

“Oh, now I’m gonna pick something terrible.”

You scan the room, drunkenly scrambling to find something hellish for him to do as revenge. You just did a deep clean of the whole apartment, so there’s nothing really gross around here that you can think of. You’re fresh out of mushrooms, otherwise you’d make him eat one. You know he would have hated that. You could make him wear one of your bras on his head, but that would require him to see it. Too embarrassing for you. Suddenly, a lightbulb pops in your head.

“Let me touch your wings.”

There are two reasons for this diabolical idea. Kei talks all the time about how he loathes when fans touch his feathers without his consent. But also, selfishly, you just really want to know what they feel like. You’ve felt individual feathers before, and they’re incredibly soft. Feeling multiple all at once sounds heavenly.

“No. Absolutely not!”

“Now you’re no fun!”

“They’re sensitive!”

“I’ll be gentle.”

“No, that’s wooorse!”

“How the fuck is that worse?”

In addition to the flush of Kei’s intoxicated cheeks, a new pinkess spreads across them.

“Either let me touch your wings for a few seconds or take a shot,” you urge him.

He locks hazy eyes with you, and you can see the gears turning in his head. Simultaneously, the gears are turning in your own. You can’t really gather how it would be worse for you to be gentle with them. Holding back on the pressure couldn’t possibly hurt him. In fact, that seems like it would be more pleasurable for him.

Your brain stops in its tracks.

Pleasurable.

Before you can stop yourself, you share your revelation.

“You don’t want me to touch them because you’ll like it too much!”

“No, I--”

“Don’t lie, Kei!”

“I don’t--”

“No, you do know!”

“FINE, TOUCH THEM!” he concedes, throwing his arms in the air.

You grin widely, feeling victorious, as he turns to the side. You use this opportunity to scooch closer to him, preparing to caress the plumes.

You could go about this one of two ways, you figure. You could make this as easy as possible for him. A quick stroke across a small section. Or, you could make this extremely difficult for him, running your fingers between the expanse of the whole wing. Something about the intimacy of the interaction, the inhibiting effect of the alcohol, and your burning desire to touch his wings, to touch him, make you pick the latter.

You wiggle beside his extended leg, facing the wing directly. Before you touch him, something possesses you to lean towards him and whisper in his ear.

“Remember, this game was your idea.”

All in the same motion, you draw your head back and carefully dive your fingers into his wings. As you run them along the surface, you suck in a breath. You expected them to be soft, but you’re taken aback. It has exceeded your expectations by a lot. Your fingertips tingle at the way each feather teases them. The fine barbs feel smooth underneath your touch. A strange sensation zips its way up your arm like it’s a live wire. You move at a sloth’s pace, wanting to savor this feeling for as long as possible, mesmerized. You’re only halfway across when Kei’s hand closes around your wrist, forcefully yanking it away.

His previously hazy eyes are now dark, met firmly with the wall directly across from him. His breathing is labored, shoulders heaving with each inhale and exhale. The previously pink flush in his cheeks is now beet red. Warmth spreads in your midsection, intoxicated by both the restraint he has you in and the downright primal look on his face.

“That’s enough,” he asserts, sternly.

You flounder, looking deep within you for some sort of snarky reply. There’s nothing left in your head; it seems that this interaction has wiped them all away. You feel redness creep up your neck and into your face. Your heart is beating out of your chest. You’re sure that Kei can hear it loud and clear. You swallow hard, and attempt to find your voice.

“Come on, that was nothing,” you offer, weakly.

Your gaze flickers from his eyes to his lips. They’re parted slightly to allow for his panting breaths. The image of him closing the distance between you, crashing them against yours, flashes across your brain. Working against them in expert fashion. Just like you’ve wanted for so long. You can practically feel the pressure of them, sucking on your bottom lip and lightly nipping. To satiate the need you suddenly feel, you take your bottom lip between your teeth, returning your gaze to the predator before you.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Keigo’s palm burns around your wrist. It’s taking everything in him to refrain from pinning you down on the floor and reenacting the images flashing in his head. Your heartbeat is drumlike, rapid, and even more inebriating than the copious amounts of liquor he’s had tonight. Your erratic breaths cause your chest to brush lightly against his forearm, the additional contact driving him further into insanity. After years of training, he knows that this is the ultimate test of his will. He’s losing.

A part of him consistently suggests that loving you isn’t a venture that’s destined to fail. The rest of him usually overshadows that, spouting endless excuses for his actions. Well, rather, inaction. Right now, he’s forgotten every reason he’d previously given himself. No matter how badly he wants to, how desperately he needs to, he can’t bring himself to look at you. If your expression is anywhere near what he’s imagining it to be, he won’t be able to stop himself. In his soul, he knows that if he acts right now, he will be completely unable to show anything resembling mercy. The already looming threat of going completely feral will swallow him whole, and he will fuck you into oblivion.

It’s appealing, the thought of releasing hold on his inhibitions. The only thing stopping him now is the thing that stops him from doing a lot of things these days.

He must, above anything and everything else, keep people safe. And you just happen to be at the very top of the list of people in the world.

This is as instinctual as breathing for him. A knee jerk reaction to outside stimuli. His outside might be extremely stimulated right now, but the core of his very existence will not allow this to continue. Not like this. If he’s ever presented with the opportunity to sleep with you, it has to be centered around you. It has to be considerate. It has to be gentle. The current state of things doesn’t equate to that at all. Of course he cares about you, about your safety. He also cares about being a decent human being, a decent pro-hero, even in the face of quickly reducing into an animal.

Finally, in the raging battle of Keigo versus avian instinct, Keigo emerges victorious.

In one swift motion, he releases his grip on your wrist and raises himself off the ground. Semi-rational thought slowly starts to flow back into his head. He knows that whatever the hell all that was effectively ruined the banter for the night. The way he reacted to your touch scared himself, and he can’t even begin to imagine how terrified you must feel. Moments like these reacquainted him with the fact that his quirk, combined with all of the meddling the Commission did to him, essentially made him a monster. He goes to great lengths to hide that from the rest of the world, but now he’s revealed the most ugly part of himself to the only person in the entire place that matters. You, his entire life, now know that even the most human of hawks are predators, too.

He stumbles to your balcony. In his altered mind, he believes that leaving would be the ultimate courtesy to you right now. It doesn’t matter that he’s plastered. It doesn’t matter that you’re already following him, begging him to stay. No one, especially you, deserves to spend another moment with such an unholy creature as Keigo Takami.

Without so much as a backward glance, he surges off of the balcony and into the night sky. His aim is to fly across the city, across the country, across the world. But, his double vision doesn’t grant him much aid in the darkness. Before he can make it even fifty feet from your apartment building, he clips the one across from you with his massive wing. In any normal circumstance, he would be able to recover from this without much issue. But he’s shitfaced. So, instead, he careens into the street below at remarkable speeds. With a yelp, he lands on the gravel and slides, scraping his entire left side. For a moment, his deafening, panic induced thoughts are quiet. It happens to be just long enough to hear you from your apartment four stories above.

“KEI!”

A pro-hero such as him should be able to take an injury like this like it’s nothing. In fact, he’s done it countless times before. Something about the drunkenness and the complete descent into self-loathing keeps him glued to the pavement. He knows you’re coming. He knows he’s going to have to face you. He knows that you’re probably worried out of your goddamn mind. He knows it’s all his fault.

For the first time in recent memory, Keigo feels entirely lost. Though he’s tried so hard, he knows now that you’ve found him out. In his perfect world, he hoped that you took his lack of affection and general emotional standoffishness as a sort of defense mechanism. In essence, that’s what it was, but he never wanted you to find out any of the myriad of things he was defending himself from -- defending you from. Now, there’s no way in hell you could view it as anything else. He wants you. Badly. And now, you know.

He hoists himself up into a sitting position with difficulty, both hands finding their way to his hair. The panic is starting to give way to crushing defeat. He’s already running through ideas on how to cope with the loss of your presence in his life. After the imminent rejection he’s about to face, he’ll have to cut off contact with you for his own sanity, at least for a little while. Maybe he can contact Kana and see if there’s any way she can assign another pro-hero to your case. Just as he’s running through candidates to recommend, he hears your sandals crunching against the gravel.

“Hey!” you call out.

Keigo inhales deeply and raises his head.

“Oh, thank fuck,” you breathe as you approach him.

You stumble slightly as you finally reach him, hands reaching out. You crouch beside him and begin to inspect his form, picking pieces of the ground off of it.

“(Y/N)...” Keigo sighs.

You shift your focus from cleaning him up to his face. As soon as you see the look of despair on it, your own face drops.

“What? Kei, what’s wrong?”

Is it possible that you aren’t as thrown off by this interaction as he is? Did this even phase you at all?

“Um.. you were there five minutes ago too, right? You witnessed the shit that I just pulled?” he asks, softly.

“Yeah, you jumped out of a fucking window! Of course I witnessed that, you idiot!”

Of course you didn’t care about the fact that he almost acted on his innermost desires in the most animalistic way possible. As always, you just wanted him to be okay. He should have suspected as much.

But, after tonight, he’s not sure if he’s physically able to keep the act up much longer.

“I meant before that.”

Redness creeps across your cheeks as you nod in recognition.

“Yeah, uh, I did witness that,” you whisper.

“And,” Keigo gulps, “did that… uh… scare you? At all?”

You laugh nervously. A flighty and musical sound. Keigo’s heart drums faster.

“No. I wasn’t scared. I was…” you trail off.

You suddenly groan and throw your hands over your face.

“God, Kei, don’t make me say this,” you cry.

His mind races. What could possibly be worse than making you scared by that? He can’t immediately think of anything, but whatever it is must be awful. He definitely won’t be seeing you ever again after this, but he needs to know. He has to prevent this from happening ever again. Not that it ever will, because he doubts that he’ll ever let his guard down like this from now on.

“You’re gonna have to. I’m not following,” he mutters.

You whine, and retract your hands. Your eyes are glued to his chest, as if that’s as close as you can get them to his eyes at the moment.

“I -- it kind of… turned me on.”

Keigo feels as if someone dumped a gallon of cold water over his head. In fact, if someone managed to do that right now, he would probably be less shocked. He can feel his mouth drying out from the amount of time he’s spent with it hanging open.

“See! I knew I shouldn’t have said anything,” you groan, shifting to raise yourself up.

Without thinking, he wraps his hand around your wrist again, pulling you towards him. You fall to your knees, face inches away from his own. He searches you one final time for any sign of regret, but all he finds is a desperate, pleading expression. He somehow finds it in him to speak.

“Can I?”

You nod softly and he does what he’s been wanting to do for months.

The first thing he notices when his lips finally meet yours is the taste of strawberry vodka. The second thing, hitting him immediately after, is an explosion in his chest. It’s a million sensations at once -- flowers blooming, fireworks popping, the sun rising. Keigo has done a lot of things in his short life, but not one of them has even come close to the pleasure of kissing you.

What was a tentative, slow pace quickly evolves into something needy, something frantic. His hands shift from the soft grip around your wrist to tangle themselves in your hair, pushing you closer to him. Even though you’re practically on top of him now, you’re not close enough, and he doesn’t think you ever will be. His tongue swipes against your lips, begging for entrance. You happily oblige, and he delves deep into you. As your teeth crash together, Keigo begins struggling for breath. He doesn’t want it, maybe he doesn’t even need it. Now, he feels as though you’re the only thing he needs to survive. Just as he accepts that as fact, you break away to rest your forehead on his. You’re panting, giggling softly between breaths. As he collects his thoughts, his mouth moves before any of the rest of him can.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do that,” he whispers.

“You should have done it sooner,” you retort, still out of breath.

He’s beginning to regain control of his body now, so he pulls away from you just far enough to plant a soft kiss against your nose. Even though he would love to continue to feel the most unique and gratifying thing he’s ever felt, he recognizes that now is not the time nor the place. But, if he has anything to say about it, there will be plenty more opportunities, scattered across the rest of time. He pauses as that thought, at how a simple kiss has fixed the position he’d been saving for you since the moment he laid eyes on you. You, his first friend, his last love. He finds your hand and squeezes it.

“It’s getting pretty late. You should probably get to bed,” he suggests.

“You could stay with me, if you wanted. I wouldn’t want you to get arrested for drunk flying,” you chuckle.

The smile that sprouts on Keigo’s face is strong enough to break his cheekbones. It’s a miracle that they stay intact.

“You’re absolutely right. Always looking out for me, aren’t you?”

He lifts himself up and pulls you with him. As the two of you walk back to your apartment, your pinky fingers are linked together. It’s a small, almost lazy connection, but neither of you seem to be able to entertain the thought of letting go.

(a/n): fuckin finally amirite

[hischierswhore]

can i get a day off with bf! christian, preferrably with many cuddles!

a day off

pairing: Christian Pulisic x Reader

TW: none

Christian finally had a day off and he wanted to take advantage of it by staying in and spending it with you. No responsibilities, no training, no games. A nice, relaxing day.

He'd taken you out to dinner the night before, just the two of you for a long awaited and much needed date night.

Despite the fact that you both lived together, your schedules always clashed, leaving little to no time for the pair of you to actually be together. But after finding out that Christian finally had a day off, you immediately requested the day off from work to spend it with your boyfriend of 5 years.

"Good morning, princess" You felt Christian wrap his arms around you, causing you to turn to face him.

"Morning, handsome" You smiled at him.

"Did you sleep well?" He asked, resting his chin on top of your head, not really having anything else to do right now except cuddle.

"Mmhmm" You mumbled back as you buried your head in his neck. You both stayed like this for a while.

"Want some breakfast?" He asked, rubbing your back softly.

"Only if there's bacon involved." You joked back causing Christian to laugh.

After a quick kiss, Christian left the bed to go make some food.

"C'mon! I'll help!" You giggled after him, hopping out of bed and running after him.

As soon as you walked into the kitchen, you immediately started smelling something delicious. Christian stood at the stove, making scrambled eggs and some bacon. With a smile on his face, he handed you a plate and sat down on one of the bar stools near the island.

As you put the plate in front of yourself, you saw him looking at you. There was something about him that was different. Maybe it was because he looked so peaceful or maybe it was the way his eyes shone. Whatever it was, you couldn't stop staring at him. You weren't sure what it was but it was interesting enough to distract you from eating.

"Is something wrong? " You said as Christian broke eye contact, focusing on his plate.

"No! It's just... it's been a while since we've done this, huh?" He glanced up at you.

"Yeah, I guess so." You agreed, staring at your own plate a tad bit too long.

You were contentedly eating, not thinking about how similar his expression was to yours when Christian broke your stare, almost apologetically placing his hand on top of yours. It wasn't until that moment did you notice it.

You didn't even have to look at him to know what he was doing. Your hands came to rest on top of his; causing Christian to quickly place his own hand over yours, completely locking you in. You brought your free hand up to cover his other hand, leaning closer towards him.

He made eye contact once again, meeting your gaze as you looked deep into them.

Without saying another word, you leaned forward, closing the distance between your lips. They met and pressed gently against each other, but still held apart by your fingers.

It was so soft. So perfect. You enjoyed every single second. It only lasted seconds, but you were blissfully satisfied with that feeling of pure happiness.

"What did you want to do today?" You asked him.

"Can we just stay home? I've missed you so much, princess" He leaned over and kissed your forehead.

"Of course. Anything you want." You smiled as you hopped off your stool.

"Last one to the room is a rotten egg!" You shouted as you began running to your shared bedroom.

"Cheater! You got a head start!" Christian called from behind you.

Unfortunately for you, Christian was fast. He quickly caught up to you and picked you up right before you entered the room, carrying you to the bed and softly throwing you onto it.

He jumped onto the bed beside you before getting himself cozy under the covers, you doing the same. He pulled you into him, his head now buried into your neck. He wrapped his arms around you tightly, holding you to him, making you feel safe and protected.

Neither of you moved, knowing this is exactly what the other needed. You just needed to be in each others presence. You were happy being in close proximity with him, it was all you could ask for.

His hand reached up and caressed your cheek tenderly.

"Don't move. Let's just stay like this forever" He whispered.

The sounds of crickets outside were loud and comforting. Nothing else existed in this world but the two of you, alone together in this wonderful room. In this beautiful moment. This very moment was all that mattered. All you wanted to do was bask in the beauty of it. The simplicity.

[scoonsalicious]

I freaking love the debrief and discussions and yes the heated confessions after your posts 🫶🏻

But can I just say, no matter how much I absolutely despise and hate Bucky, I don’t want her with Steve. By all means, I am not a constant Steve hater, but in this universe? He’s an ick. He gives me the ick. And no, it’s not really a revenge if pocket sleeps with him. It’s just them giving Bucky more reason to have had sex with that little Jar because his “insecurities and suspicions” are true, and more reason to fuck with her again bc he’s “broken and devastated” so no.

Also, the flying fuck audacity of Bucky to say she wasn’t supposed to see it? He’s fucking insecure abt Pocket but he does this shit. But instead of addressing it, what, he just hopes no one ever finds out and let Pocket live in false sense of bliss? What, does he plan on fucking Jamboree again? Whatever pocket said in that chapter, so fucking true. He wants honesty but gives none. He thinks she’s fucking other people but she’s not, he did. It’s really projection. Kinda like where cheaters are afraid their partners are cheating typa shit. And he also had the guts to promise again? Man you’re delusional if you think she would believe u again.

Your insecurities and hurting does not justify nor is enough reason for you to betray someone you so called love like that. I mean fuck not once but TWICE the person you were supposed to not interact with. You were supposed to block. And NOT TEXT HER BACK BC YALL WERE FUCKING? THEN LYING ABT IT THEN FUCKING HER KNOWINH WHAT U DID BEFORE???? Ew. Just no. I don’t see myself coming back to that. I think therapy would make me see my fucking worth. Pocket should too. Imagine you’re worrying while the guy you’re worrying abt is having the time of his life fucking the girl he told u not to worry about. Im sure he didn’t stop to think abt pocket all those times huh. Even for a second. If he did, he should’ve felt disgusted. So no. Never did pocket ever cross his mind. While he was all she could think abt. I would feel disgusted with myself if I ever do comeback to an overused filthy dick. I don’t deserve that, never will. He CHOSE her over you. He CHOSE to fuck her instead of communicating with you. So no. I’d rather not be with him. Yes, painful, but let’s be fr now. She would be stupid if she falls for his bullshit again.

If therapy and healing does something for her, it should be her realizing and accepting that this kind of Bucky is not for her. She deserves a mature partner that can communicate instead of fucking his apparent girl best friend who he thinks is so entwined, in tune, and alike to him. Might as well just make Jade his girl. Bc she can comfort him, right? Bc even if Bucky does improve himself, you can’t tell me the insecurity and the nagging at the back of your mind that he could deffo do it again anytime and anywhere is there. Their relationship would always be for her, waiting for the other shoe to drop. The trust is ultimately broken. Like a plate shattered and put back together. Cracks are evident and the relationship will never be the same. Maybe it’s my trust issues acting up, but I could never trust someone like that again after these types of betrayal.

Nonetheless, I hope Bucky lives in a pool of regret, despair, pain, and guilt forever. Bathe in it everyday, drown in it. I don’t care what state of mind he was in. He deserves every ounce of pain as much as Pocket did not.

Oh, bestie. Just wait and see!

[armpirate]

Kalla | Choi San || Chapter 2

MASTERLIST Previous || Next

Pairings: CEO!San x fem!reader

Genre: smut, angst, fluff, strangers to lovers.

Warnings: dom!San, sub!reader, voyeourism, use of sex toys, bondage, dirty talk, BDSM, exhibitionism, rough sex.

Summary: She was surprised by how fast her life went from the perfect fairytale to the destructive mess it had turned into. Dealing with a cheater ex boyfriend, having to move out to a different place because the house she lived in belonged to that man she once dreamed of spending the rest of her life with, while continuously being underappreciated at work... It was as if life was telling her to stop dreaming big, to go back to her small town, Bibury, and help her parents run the small farm her family had owned for decades.

At least until she received a call from her friend.

A sudden vacancy as an assistant showed up on one of her friend's system, having her being encouraged to take that big step and apply for it. She had no hopes for it. Mainly because she didn't have any experience on the field, and she didn't comply with most of the requirements that were added on the offer -and which most of them sounded ridiculous and exaggerated for the position, making her wonder who was the freak who needed so many guidelines in order to hire someone to pick up the phone and schedule events. 

Although that hotel she'd be working on was much more than anything she could've come up with. 

Choi San wasn't someone easy to deal with. After his previous assistant presented his resignation letter on his desk, he felt forced to start the whole selection process again -after merely two months. 

Sure that he was being way too strict, enough to find that anyone who applied for the position wasn't enough, he asked one of his friends to be in charge of the interviews and the selection of the most adequate candidate. 

Little did he know Wooyoung would hire the imperfectly perfect candidate for him, sure that she'd help him in many ways other than just in dealing with the responsibilities of his position. 

A new challenge will come their way as soon as she steps inside the hotel. 

Y/n will have to learn how to mold onto him and deal with all his small habits and requirements, and San will find himself trying to open up and let out all those same things that turned him into the person he was. 

The more she digs in Kalla and all of its secrets and exciting corners, the deeper she'll dive into San's heart and soul... Although, maybe, she won't be able to take it. 

Kalla opens its doors to you, sharing the vast amount of filthy and erotic plans it offers, and that you can join with a partner... Or maybe just by yourself. 

Hope you enjoy your stay.

Chapter duration: 16 minutes

Liz: Will you go?

Rosie: Of course she will

Joanne: Unless she wants us to drag her there

Y/n rolled at the on going conversation about her, which she ironically ignored as she saw it grow on the notifications that popped on her screen, and that she only checked because her phone didn't stop buzzing.

Joane: It's a good chance

Rosie: A good chance?

Rosie: She should be thanking whatever planets got aligned today to be offered that opportunity.

She should've seen it coming when she first sent the screenshot of the email to Lizzie, before calling her out for sending out her resume even though she explicitly asked her not to do it.

Joanne: Did she mute the chat?

She didn't, but her friend had just given her an idea she didn't think about. A few taps on her screen, and the notification didn't show up at the bar and didn't make her phone make a single sound.

Despite what her friends thought, she was able to recognize the big opportunity that was offered in front of her. It was the first thought that crossed her mind when she received the confirmation email from Lizzie's company, making her aware that she was still part of a process she didn't know she was involved in. And she wasn't able to control her stomach from turning upside down when, thirty minutes later, she received another email from another company, Kalla hotel, inviting her to one short interview to get to know her.

"Your interview will take place at 4 pm. In case you didn't assist, we will believe you aren't interested in the job position anymore and your application will be erased, along with all the information we gathered from you through your resume and LinkedIn".

Excitement was slowly being replaced by a jumping into the void sensation, something that didn't let her breathe properly as she reread the email for a third time. She thought all of that was too good to be true. Even if she showed up there, she probably would end up looking ridiculous the second the interviewer tried to engage in a conversation with her in Korean -she'd certainly kill Lizzie after that. She had gone through enough humiliation in the past month, she didn't need that interview to top the cake. Because it was obvious they wouldn't pick her among all the other candidates. And, suddenly, a new scary feeling ran through her from head to toe. What if she ended up being picked and had to change her life?

She remembered how difficult it was for her to move all the way from her hometown to London to study. The uncertainty, the stress... everything was way too fresh for her, even if it had been eight years since then.

It was better if she didn't go and stayed in her lane.

But if she went and gave it a chance...

No.

—Y/n —she heard Ava's annoying voice approaching her.

Maybe it was just her personal bias, but she swore hearing her speak was only comparable to hearing nails scratching a blackboard. It almost made her whole body squirm in disgust.

—You aren't busy, right?

Her boss had sent her a research task, to find out the most common tendencies in fashion for the year, she also had to check the social media from one of the companies they worked for, not to mention she also had to prepare the documents for the meeting that would take place the next day with one of the clients... But no, she wasn't busy at all.

—Why? —she limited herself to ask, forcing a small smile.

She hated Ava with passion. And it wasn't really a type of hate that came out of the relationship they could have, which was non-existent; but a hate that was forced upon her through her actions. Ever since she stepped inside the office, supposedly to replace her because she was hired for a different job, there was a silent war going on. Although maybe it wasn't since the very beginning, when Ava still thought she was too good for the job Y/n was going to do from then and on -and that belonged to her before. It actually started when she was forced to come back, realizing she closed doors and deals before the new one was settled. After coming back, there were two people doing the same task -and clearly, that couldn't happen.

For months, she had gone through Ava's judging glares and malicious ambiguous comments. And she thought it'd be better if she passed on the promotion to give it to her, making it clear she wasn't attempting to take her place and actually respected her experience in that company -and the field. She was wrong though, it only went worse from there. She was already excluded from some gatherings among the small group of friends in the company, but it was more evident as time went by. And, if she was invited, Ava always found a way to leave it clear she wasn't welcomed -last time, by being invited and then acting like she wasn't part of the plan. It wasn't like she cared about it, she had good friends to spend quality time with; but it also went worse in the workplace, purposely excluding her from decisions that were taken as a team.

She thought freeing her way would help the situation, but it only made her ego bigger, having her looking down at Y/n at the tiniest difference in positions.

—Can you do some scrubbing? The team received a lot of feedback from all the surveys that we did, and we need the results.

—Sure. Send me the file and I'll work on it once I'm done with the tendencies.

—I need the scrubbing by the end of this week.

Y/n lifted her eyes, enraged by the ironic smile that hinted how much she enjoyed adding so much pressure on her.

As much as she would have loved to say no, she knew she couldn't. She depended on the production she did to be considered for the next promotion -either in that office or in one of the offices spread all over Europe.

—I'll do what I can —she finally nodded.

—Good.

Not even a thank you. Y/n wanted to pretend to be surprised, but she was way too used to it.

The file showed up shortly after in her email, with nothing else other than the predetermined message that Google wrote down whenever a file was shared among users. But she still shrugged it off. Y/n ignored feeling dehumanized, convincing herself she was just exaggerating the situation and taking things out of proportion.

She didn't care about it. She was already used to it. And by the time she had been working there, she had learnt to put her brain to rest when those thoughts started invading most parts of her mind.

Work was always the best way to move on from them.

At least until later that morning, when not even work was able to put her thoughts in a second place.

She was inside the small closet, where all the cleaning products were in case there was an emergency -which her coffee rushed to make after lunch all over her table. Although her body froze on the spot when she heard a voice approaching. Y/n wasn't exactly shy, but she hated those uncomfortable moments, where you had to fake a smile after you encountered someone you weren't really in a mood to see. And her boss was the last person she needed to see that day.

—It's been a busy week, but thankfully we managed to pile up all the necessary information —Adelaide stopped talking for a few seconds—. Of course, mister Banks.

Y/n recognized that name, he was one of the most important customers working with the agency. And, because of that, she worked harder on any task related to his project, looking for a visibility that could open her a door in case she decided to leave Youth for good.

—I'm glad you liked all the information we gathered, and the way it was presented. I'm really lucky with the team I have.

And just like that, her boss kicked all her effort away.

If there was any door possibly open, Adelaide slammed it in front of her face without giving it a second thought. She had done most of the work, she implanted creative ideas that even her boss praised and encouraged, and she dealt with the way it'd be presented to appeal to the design of the customer's company. Only for it all to be reduced to teamwork. A team work that never existed.

—Oh yes, Ava will lead the presentation with your partners. She's really excited to take over such a big chance.

Something broke inside of her. Her throat closed, almost as if someone was holding it in a tight grip under her skin, making it difficult for her to even breathe. She wasn't aware when she started crying, but she heard the dry sound of one of the teardrops falling over the fabric of her sneakers, rushing her to move the reverse of her hand over her cheeks and eyes to clean them up.

It was so unfair, so annoying... it made her feel so worthless. She was the one who should be presenting her work, not someone else.

She held onto the strip of her bag, looking at the building ahead of her nervously, feeling like it was taller than it was as she suddenly became smaller.

She had been thinking about the interview all day, she had been trying to fight whether to attend or not. After what happened in the archive -or better, after what she heard-, all of her will to work flew out of the window. She couldn't find any reason why to do it, and she for sure could find no motivation either. The constant questions wondering what was the point of working hard, or what would be her future in Youth were eating her alive. Or what would happen if they didn't renew her contract, or took longer than she wanted to to be promoted. She was unable to focus on her work, bombarded by her own thoughts .

Thinking about it, she didn't even finish the scrubbing that needed to be done, and that made Ava's tongue clicking sound echo in the office.

All of her questions, all of her doubts, all the reasons that left her pain aside were right in front of her, inside the tall hotel she never thought she'd step in.

She checked herself out on the clean glass that gave a clear reflection of her full body, twisting her mouth as she tried to settle the collar of her white blouse, only to have it back to the way it was before she touched it.

The reception had high walls and a long and big black counter right in the middle, with four people behind it. Her eyes lowered to her phone, checking the location again to be sure of what was the place she needed to ask four.

—Good afternoon. How may I help you? —the tall blonde woman, with both of her hands crossed over her lower belly, asked with a huge smile.

—I'm looking for meeting room number four? I don't really know if it's right. I have a job interview...

Bella, or the name she assumed she had by the white green tag hung over her dark blue blazer, gave her a comforting smile, instantly nodding.

—There have been people coming and going the past two days —she tried to reassure her—. I'll take you there. If you may follow me.

Y/n didn't know if that relaxed her a bit, or if that made her even more nervous. But she still found a way to follow the receptionist through the reception, getting into a long and wide corridor that had big translucid walls of glass every few meters, where she wasn't able to see the inside but the shape of the people that were inside of those rooms.

—You said a lot of people have been coming and going... —Y/n mentioned— What was the vibe when they left?

—The vibe? —Bella frowned, momentarily looking back at her— I guess there was a bit of everything: some were upset, others relieved, others angry... I don't really know much, but seems like the recruiter is pretty exigent.

Y/n nodded, gulping thick as she realized she was doomed whatever she said in that interview.

Probably, most of the people that left were more prepared than her. Or, at least, knew something that she didn't: the language of the country she'd work at and what was the exact position Liz applied to.

—Good luck —the blonde girl whispered as she stopped by one of the doors towards the end of the corridor, knocking at the door before leaving.

—One second —a male voice screamed from inside. After a few seconds, when she was able to hear her own breathing, he spoke again—. Come in.

Y/n pressed her lips tight, holding the silver door knob and pushing it down to get the door to open. The small room kept the same decorations and colors as the rest of the hotel, fully white with some features on the furniture in blue. The only thing that escaped the main colors were the black laptop and the man in front of it.

—Take a sit, please —he invited her.

She moved to the desk shyly, taking small steps until she reached one of the chairs to sit on it.

The man didn't seem much older than her, she'd bet he was just two or three years older. His black hair wasn't too long -enough to pick up the top on a tiny ponytail, but too short to get all of it in it-, and styled in a way that his bangs didn't move a single millimeter to his face to interrupt what he was looking at in the computer. He also wasn't as formal as she thought he'd be. Instead of the regular suit, he was wearing a blue cardigan, with nothing underneath, that allowed her to see just a glimpse of his chest.

—Y/n, right? —he interrupted, finally looking at her— You're ten minutes early.

—Am I?

She slapped herself mentally at that answer. She should've nodded and backed up the reason, giving an answer that could relate to an aptitude applicable to the position. It was already too late to change it.

—Uh-hum —he nodded—. I'm Jung Wooyoung, by the way. And I'll be leading the interview.

—Nice to meet you —she dedicated him a small smile.

He smiled back, slightly bowing at her response before he completely turned his attention on her.

—It'll be quite simple and fast —Wooyoung introduced—. You'll tell me a bit about yourself, I'll ask you some questions regarding the position, we'll also do a short practical case and we'll finish with your questions if you have any. Is that right?

—Yeah.

—Okay, start.

As she tried to think where to start exactly, she saw him getting comfortable on his chair, placing his back against the backrest. In that moment she regretted being such a conformist for the past two months while she struggled with anxiety, instead of looking for other jobs that could've given her the experience in job interviews she needed for that -or, at least, a refresher of what it was like.

—I'm currently working in a Marketing agency, as you could check in my resume. I've been working there for almost a year, doing tasks that are related to team assistance. And I also finished the Associate Degree in Business Administration four years ago.

—Why do you think you're a good candidate?

—I'm organized, I know how to work well under pressure, and I'm really passionate. I also know how to use all the resources at hand to be as efficient as possible. And I'm a fast learner. I get things easily to put them into practice fast.

—What are your strengths and your weaknesses?

— Strengths? —her eyes moved up, trying to find an answer— I'm patient, and I really mean it -I've been holding back a lot in my current position —Wooyoung giggled at that mumbled comment—. I'm also optimistic. It doesn't matter how hard the situation is, or how stressful, I always work hard to see the positive side to be able to focus on finding a solution and the proper organization. About the weaknesses...

She could've gone to the typical "I'm a perfectionist", which wasn't exactly a lie, but she didn't see it as a weakness either. Since when doing your job as good as you could was something negative?

—I'm too empathetic —she finally answered—. I guess my emotions lead my actions most of the time.

As much as she wanted to hate Ava for her attitudes, Y/n had always tried to find the reason why, getting to understand why she'd feel threatened by the new person, to the point of justifying some of her actions.

The corners of Wooyoung's eyes squinted as his smile widened at her response, nodding before he continued:

—Honestly, those three are traits you'd need to work with San —he joked—. Especially patience.

Y/n understood that he wasn't the one she'd work for.

—Do you know what's Kalla? —he felt forced to ask— Did you ever hear about it, or found information about it online?

—I know it's a hotel in Seoul after looking it up.

After looking it up, or after doing two plus two with the information Lizzie gave out as she insisted she take the interview.

—But do you know what type of hotel?

—You mean luxurious, familiar...? That type?

—Before we go on, I'm forced to tell you the nature of the hotel —he sat straight back again—. It's a love hotel.

She could feel how the muscles in her face were fighting not to open her mouth wide at that introduction.

—Kalla is a hotel that opened four years ago, and that has been consistently receiving visitors from all over the world. But also, Kalla is a line of intimate products that sells worldwide, and that has a tight connection with manufacturers in the United Kingdom. That's why English is non-negotiable. You'll assist the owner of the company, by doing the secretary work you probably know about, but you'll also do work as a communication point for partners, suppliers, clients, and you could also be required to assist the Marketing team every once in a while.

—I see —she nodded.

Considering the type of hotel it was, Y/n could just imagine the type of intimate products Wooyoung was referring to. And, all of a sudden, the position wasn't as attractive to the point of her being nervous over not getting it.

—Leaving that clear, I think we could start with the practical case. Let's say you're in charge of organizing an event in the hotel, but as a supplier, I didn't comply with the arrangements we agreed on.

As Wooyoung started to speak, Y/n paralyzed. Of course he was going to test her Korean, at the same time he tried to test her resolution skills. To avoid the uncomfortable silence that was starting to build up under his insisting gaze, Y/n finally spoke:

—I... I don't speak Korean.

Although she understood some expressions, and was proud at how she managed to understand more words than she initially expected.

—What? Your resume says...

—My friend probably added that part —she interrupted him.

Wooyoung's disappointed expression got her ready for the words that would come out of his mouth shortly after.

—I really liked your profile, but I don't think you adapt to the necessities of the position. Youdon't speak Korean, and we also need someone who has over four years of experience in a similar position, doing similar tasks.

—Four years of experience? —she cut him off, opening her eyes wide— I mean, I'd have those four years of experience if recruiters didn't keep saying they want freshly graduated people to have a decade of experience —she scoffed, trying to think through what she was saying.

—Well, it's not exactly a requirement I added, but the CEO. He wants someone that could quickly adapt to the position.

—Tell the CEO to burst his own bubble. Does he think he won't have to give some adaptation period to a person with experience? Maybe in his fairyland he won't, but in real life working fields are different, software varies from one business to another. He'd still need that person to get used to a lot of different things. Ialso don't speak Korean, so what? The translator exists. And I speak English in my current job, and it isn't like it kept my boss from degrading me. I'm a fast learner, I'm a hard worker. If you miss on it, it's your loss.

She wasn't quite sure if those last words were actually aimed at Wooyoung or at Adelaide.

She knew there was no possible way to save herself after that, she knew she was wrong in the majority of things she was saying, but she was in too deep to eat each one of those words. She couldn't backtrack after she started vomiting nonsense.

A sigh announced she was back to her senses.

—Sorry to have wasted your time.

Before Wooyoung could even speak, Y/n was already picking up all of her things and walking to the door to close it behind her.

He giggled, taking his phone out to send:

"I think I've finally found the perfect candidate for you". 

[stratossphere]

cheater cheater pt. 3 | j.k

if johnny gets to go around doing whatever he wants, then so do you, whether he likes it or not. (pt 1) (pt 2)

warnings: angst galore, johnny is still an asshole, heavy drinking and smoking (both cigs and weed), a lot of suggestive content in general

word count: 8.7k (i got carried away, i’m sorry!!!)

a/n: so, i decided, considering bam is one of reader’s best friends, that ville valo would be a good jealousy inducer for this series (and he happens to be easy to write for me ;) enjoy the angst!

taglist: @asskickedbygirl @kristinee @lizey-thornberry @faceache111 @brandons-wife (lmk if you want to be added!)

— —

"C'mon. It'll take your mind off Fuckhead for a while, and we can actually start planning this next video while we're there." Bam, who was currently driving the both of you to work considering he was staying at your place while you filmed in LA for a while, had planned yet another trip to Finland for the weekend, and was now trying to convince you to come along because of how pissy you’d been over the past few weeks because of the whole situation with Johnny. You snorted.

"Yeah, good luck getting me off of work. If Knoxville finds out I'm asking off to go to Helsinki, he'll flip his shit." Johnny was still mostly hostile towards you, and it seemed like lately he was doing everything in his power to make your life hell.

"I'll back you up. It's not like they really give a shit what you're doing, anyways." Bam brushed it off like it was nothing. You shot him a look at his choice of words.

"Thanks. That's sweet." And super helpful, fuckface. Sighing, you shrugged. "Fine. But if he gets all weird, it's your fault."

—

"No." Johnny's response was the first one you heard. And you had been talking to Jeff and Spike, not him. You turned to shoot an irritated look in his direction where he was sitting in the corner of Jeff's office, and you could tell by the indignant look on his face that he was clearly going to budge himself right into the middle of all of this just like you’d predicted.

"I didn't ask you. I asked them." You snapped, turning back away from him and back towards Jeff, who looked like he wanted to kill the both of you. Bam was sitting in the chair opposite the desk saying nothing quite yet, and Spike just looked entertained.

"PJ. Just wait." Jeff held up a hand for Johnny to shut his stupid mouth, and you shot him a satisfied smirk as Jeff shut him down. "What are you doing there that you need five days off?

"We're setting up to make a music video. We’re directing, and it takes a few days." You explained, motioning between you and Bam as you spoke. He nodded in agreement.

"It might not even take five days. She works pretty quick." He added, essentially hyping up your work ethic in the process. See? Sometimes Bam could be useful. "Plus, I'm supposed to be getting way more footage for Viva La Bam than I have."

"Y/n, I thought you agreed to edit footage for the bonus discs this weekend." Spike pointed out, giving you a you better not expect me to do it look. You internally winced, because you’d completely forgotten about that, before perking back up once you got an idea.

"Just give me the drives and I'll do it on the plane." Solutions upon solutions. However, Jeff must've hated you, because he then spun his chair to look over at Johnny. Who still looked like he wanted to kill you, mind you.

"What do you think?" No no no. You and Bam both shared a look of exasperation as Jeff essentially called on Johnny, who looked like he had just been selected to speak at the House. He sat forward in his chair, eyes trained directly on you.

"I think it's a horrible idea. None of your footage is going to get edited, because as soon as they see that fucking alcoholic that lives there, they're gonna spend their entire week partying themselves to shit." He spilled, crossing his arms in indignant irritation. It was like he wasn't even trying to hide the real reason he didn't want you to go. If there was one thing Johnny hated in this world more than anything, it was the man Bam loved more than anything in this world:

Ville Valo.

Being best friends with Bam, you had also inadvertently become friends with Ville as a result, and it was pretty obvious that Ville had a thing for you. An ‘I can have anything I want, and I want Johnny Knoxville’s girlfriend’ type of thing. Even now that you were broken up, you knew that wasn’t going to change anything.

"It's a work trip, you asshole. I'm going there for work. Specifically." You turned in your seat to glare at him, and Bam did basically the same thing.

"Dude. Just admit that you don't want us to go because of Ville. It's fuckin' obvious." Bam muttered. Johnny opened his mouth to retort, probably with something that would instigate a fight, but Jeff cut him off.

"Guys. Stop fighting." He then turned around and erased both yours and Bam's names off of the schedule board. You silently cheered, only to have it cut short when he spoke again, this time in Johnny’s direction. "If you're that worried about them getting work done while they're gone, why don't you go with them?"

Hell fucking no. Jeff was crazy. He was actually insane. And you know who was more insane? Johnny Knoxville. Because his eyes lit up as soon as the words were out of Jeff's mouth. You rushed to speak before he could get the chance.

"No! You can't just invite him on our trip!" You protested frantically, shaking your head adamantly at the thought. It was like when parents told you to take your annoying, whiny younger sibling with you when you were clearly going to get drunk. "We're going there to work. If you're going to be worried about anyone spending their time getting plastered, it should be Knoxville."

"Hey. Did I ask for your opinion? No." Jeff jabbed a finger in your direction as Bam let out a deep, annoyed sigh. This was really starting to feel like a parental lecture. "Do you two think I'm stupid? I know exactly what goes on when you go to Finland. So, Knoxville goes, or you don't go. You know, because it's my time that I'm lending out here."

"This all better not be because of this bullshit with you two. Because if it is, no one's going anywhere, and everyone's working the weekend." Spike warned in addition, looking between you and Johnny in a way that dared either of you to protest. You glanced over at Johnny, who also by this point looked like a scolded kid, before blowing out a sigh.

"No. It's not." You caved. You were lying, but you really did want to go on this trip. Although you were losing half of your reasoning (which was getting away from your pissy bitch of an ex boyfriend to go see your friend), you still missed the band, and Finland was a fun place to be in general. Plus, you obviously didn't want to sit in your office for 14 hours a day for the near future editing footage.

"Good. I should hope not, considering you're both adults and this isn't the place for middle school lunch drama." If Spike ever decided to have kids someday, he was going to be a great dad. "You can all have the next five days off, then. But so help me god, if I get a call from any of you asking for an extension, it'll be canceled and you'll be scheduled at six the next morning."

"Thank you. I promise I'll get all that footage done by the time I get back." You tried not to sound too disappointed, because it really was generous of them to give three of you five days off, but now you really weren't looking forward to your trip. And you could tell by the pout in Bam's voice when he mirrored your thanks that he was thinking the same thing.

"Mm. Finland. Can't wait." Johnny clearly felt the opposite, because he had a wide grin on his face as got out of his chair while Spike erased his name off of the board, too. He was practically rubbing it in your faces, and you were imagining yourself kicking the shit out of him once you weren't in the presence of your bosses.

"Good. Now get out of here. All of you."

—

Oh yeah. This trip was going to fucking blow. Massively. Especially because Bam had insisted that you both stay at Ville's apartment (which was going to be torture anyway considering you and Bam were going to have to share a couch that didn't pull out) and Johnny had as a result thrown a fit about it and gotten a hotel room for himself instead.

So yeah. The gap was just building itself wider and wider, and you hadn't even actually seen Ville yet. And, based on previous interactions and many arguments with both Ville and Johnny about the other person, you knew that it was going to be tense. You and Bam had actually had a lengthy discussion about it when Johnny had passed out with his head lolling out into the aisle of the plane.

"If they start fighting over you while we're right there, I'm out. Seriously." Bam was saying, referencing the fact that usually when the two of them were around each other it became a battle of marking territory. Despite the fact that the territory, being you, was usually uninterested in the both of them in those moments. You nodded in agreement.

"We'll be out. I'm gonna want to shoot myself if I have to listen to any more of that." You complained, resting your face in your hand as letting out a deep sigh. "Knoxville can't come to the set, or else we're not going to get anything done."

"You know, this wouldn't be a problem if you just got a new boyfriend, and then they could bond over their hard-ons for you instead of fighting over them." Bam snickered at his own suggestion, and you shot him a dirty look. In actuality, it probably was a good idea to at least try to put yourself out there so that you weren’t so deeply caught in the shitstorm that was becoming your life, but everything was just too fucked up. You and Johnny were still…you didn’t know what you were doing…and you were about to go and create an entirely new set of problems for yourself.

"The day they start bonding over anything is the day that you can have every cent in my bank account, because it's never fucking happening." You scoffed, shaking your head tiredly. "Ville's going to be such an asshole about it. I can already fucking tell by the way he was on the phone."

It had taken a lot of convincing to get Ville to agree on still letting you visit now that Johnny had joined the party. The two of them hated each other (and had, for almost the entire time that you’d known Ville), and adding Ville to the mix of you and Johnny’s never ending bickering was not going to make it any better. And, to add onto that, you were almost completely sure that the reason Johnny had been so against you coming to Helsinki was because he was convinced that you planned on opening your legs right up for Ville as soon as you saw him.

"He's just gonna be a little pissed off. He'll be fine once we all start drinking." Bam brushed it off like he wasn't worried about it. Your promises to avoid getting plastered at all costs had obviously been lies, and despite Johnny putting himself out as the savior that was going to keep you from doing so, you knew that he had a weaker resolve than you and Bam did. Plus, you could work and get drunk at the same time. You’d done it before, and you’d definitely do it again. "You know, Ville's single right now, too."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Now you were really glad that Johnny was asleep, because he would've flipped out at what Bam was so clearly insinuating. You narrowed your eyes at him, and he just shrugged.

"Just saying. We wouldn't have to share the couch if you slept in Ville's bed." This motherfucker was crazy. Actually fucking crazy. You just stared at him for a second, because he had basically just suggested that you fuck some guy from a different country while your still-very-territorial ex was along.

"If anyone's gonna be sharing a bed with Ville, it's you, asshole." You grumbled, giving him a pointed look that warned him not to stray into that territory any further.

"Whatever. We'll probably end up too drunk to care, anyway." That's usually how it ended up when you and Bam had to share the couch (which hadn't happened in a really long time), and you had woken up with your face resting on top of Bam's feet and vice versa more times than you wanted to admit. "You know this is probably going to suck ass, right?"

"Yeah. Don't remind me." You were already preparing yourself for the worst. Fighting from all sides (Bam and Ville already had a habit of fighting once they'd been together for too long and Ville started to get annoyed, and adding Johnny to the mix was guaranteeing arguments between everybody), stress from trying to (potentially) film a music video in basically four days, and the horrendous hangovers that came with being anywhere near Ville Valo was basically all a recipe for a half-fun disaster. "If it gets bad, then you and I can just get our own hotel so that we don't have to deal with it."

"Deal."

—

Despite your worries regarding seeing Ville again after what felt like forever, you were actually kind of relieved to see his apartment building when the taxi let you both out. Johnny had been complaining incessantly before he'd been dropped off at his hotel to 'get situated', citing his reasons as it being 'too hot' and 'too late for him to even do anything' for his whining before you basically shoved him out in favor of heading directly to Ville's place.

So, despite the fact that you’d been in a pretty garbage mood for the past day or so, as Ville buzzed you both into the building, you felt a grin forming on your face, and you could see that Bam looked the same way as you trudged up the three flights of stairs to get to Ville's door.

The door was already open when you finally got to his floor, and you were met with the sight of Ville Valo himself standing in the doorway with a beer bottle in one hand and a cigarette in the other. Fitting, for the time of night it was. Bam, of course, rushed to get ahead of you and be first to greet Ville, which was basically just them shouting animatedly and almost bowling each other over in a hug before Ville handed his beer bottle over to Bam and stepped aside to let him in the house. His gaze then moved in your direction.

"Well, hello there. Where's your pet?" Great. It was already starting. You groaned as you let him pull you into a hug, shrouded in the all-too-familiar smell of his cologne, the cigarette he was smoking, and the booze on his breath.

"Can you please wait like, more than three seconds before you start with that?" You complained, smiling despite your groaning when he kissed your cheek and shut the door behind you when you stepped into the apartment. "He's at his hotel. I don't know if he'll even show up tonight."

"Sweet." He said it dramatically on purpose, and you and Bam both shared a 'Jesus fucking Christ' look because this was going to end up being...well...exactly how you’d guessed it was going to end up being. Ville then dropped down on the couch, looking at the both of you with a relaxed grin. "Mige's got a party going on tonight, if you're not too jet-lagged."

"It hasn't started yet?" Bam didn't look like he was exactly going for the idea, and honestly, you didn't know if you were going to, either. Of course, you wanted to see the band, and you knew that you would have a good time if you went, but you were way too jet-lagged to go to a party that wasn't going to end until the sun was coming up the next morning.

"Oh, no. It's started, all right. Thought I'd wait on your asses to let you in here before I went, though." Ville explained, motioning for Bam to finish off the beer that he had handed over upon arrival. You hid your smile behind your hand as you watched Bam's hesitant look. Now this was what you were used to. "C'mon. You can bring your cowboy and we can teach him a few party tricks."

Yeah, because that was going to end well.

"Speaking of the cowboy. Ville, look at me." You weren't going to put up with immature bickering and poking the entire time, because that was going to ruin your entire trip. Ville, who had an ‘I'm totally gonna fuck with him’ smirk on his face, looked at you then, and you jabbed a finger at him. "No fighting with Johnny. Seriously. No instigating, nothing. I'm begging you."

"Yeah, I'll second that. If you piss him off, him and Y/n are just going to start screaming at each other again, and then I'm gonna want to hang myself." Bam added, nodding towards you like he was being helpful as he spoke. You threw a hand in the air, because Ville absolutely did not need to know that you and Johnny were at each other's throats. That thought was confirmed by the fact that Ville's smirk only grew wider.

"What? I thought you two were hopelessly in love with each other." He gasped. You just deadpanned at him, taking a deep breath before sighing.

“We’re on a break.” You supplied, because clearly Bam had left that bit of information out. “Don’t start anything.”

"I'm not talking to that fucking prick anyway. Who gives a shit what's up his ass." There came the real emotions that you were so used to. Bam snickered at those words, and you just ran your hand over your face, because you knew that it was only going to get worse once they were in the same room.

"Alright. Let's go already so I don't have to listen to this bullshit." Bam huffed, moving back towards the door after he had kicked his bag out of the way. You had actually planned on taking at least a five minute breather before you went out getting smashed off of your asses, but of course that was not a thought in the mind of your present company. "Someone's gotta call Knoxville and tell him to meet us there if he wants to go."

"Not it!" You called immediately, putting your hands up in the air in surrender. Bam let out the most dramatic groan you had ever heard, collapsing down on the couch next to Ville like a toddler throwing a fit as he pulled his phone out of his back pocket.

"You're a fucking dick. You owe me a keg stand for that."

—

The party was in full swing by the time you arrived, and exponentially more so when Johnny did. You and Bam had already taken three hits each off of Mige's four-foot bong, and there was a half-spilled bottle of liquor in the back pocket of your jeans when Linde finally emerged back into the living room with Johnny close behind him.

"Liquor's in the kitchen!" You called from where you were sitting on the arm of the couch next to Mige and Bam with the bong in between your legs. He raised an eyebrow at the bong, then turned around in a half-circle.

"Where the fuck is the kitchen?" He yelled back, gesturing around the room in confusion. Bam sighed and got up then, reaching over Mige to hand you his cigarette before he crossed the room to meet Johnny and take him into the kitchen. Which was dangerous in itself, because Ville had just gone in the same direction to get himself another drink.

You were on the couch for about 20 seconds without Bam before he poked his head back out into the living room, waving you on frantically. You groaned, because that could only mean one thing, before getting up. My fucking god.

When you reached Bam after taking several chugs of your liquor, he let out a long sigh that told you exactly what he had called you over for.

"Well, they're both in the kitchen together." He announced, leading you around the corner as he took your liquor bottle out of your hand for himself. "If they start fighting, who do you think is going to win?"

"Don't speak it into existence." You groaned, squeezing past a large group of people that probably didn't even speak the same language as you as you pushed into the kitchen. There, you were met with a sight that practically made your head start hurting right then and there.

Ville and Johnny were standing on opposite sides of the kitchen counter from each other, and although you were far enough away to where you couldn't hear what they were saying, you could tell that they were arguing. And what made it even worse was the fact that where Johnny looked irritated, Ville just looked smug. Which didn't give you much hope for what they were discussing.

"You gonna go break that up, or...?" Bam must've thought you were crazy. To willingly throw yourself into the middle of that shitshow was like asking you if you would’ve liked to just go and put a gun in your mouth. You blew out a sigh.

"I mean, as long as they're just talking. I don't really care if they argue." You clearly jinxed yourself then, because just as soon as those words were out of your mouth, Ville reached out and slammed the bottom of his beer bottle over the top of Johnny's, which made Johnny's beer start gushing everywhere, and then clapped him hard on the shoulder before turning and walking right away. And directly towards you and Bam.

When he spotted you, his smirk got even wider, and you tried to avoid Johnny seeing you as he chucked his ruined beer into the trash for fear of making everything worse with your presence.

"That was a douchey fucking move." You said as soon as Ville was in earshot, glaring at him and smacking his shoulder as he just chuckled at his own actions. You didn't argue when Bam immediately dipped away from you, leaving just you and Ville standing next to each other out of view of the kitchen.

“I don’t fucking care. He said you weren’t single. I know you are.” He basically sang his words as he spoke them. You swallowed thickly, because Ville was a lot closer than what you were used to, and because you could see the look in his eyes. He was playing a game in his own head, and he was clearly winning. “He sure has a tight hold on you for not being your little boyfriend.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You didn’t like how airy your voice came out. You knew this would be a prime opportunity to get Johnny back for all this bullshit with his girlfriend that he (still!) hadn’t broken up with, but Ville made you nervous. Really nervous.

“I’m just saying. You’re not his property. You’re free to fuck anyone you want.” His words were so pointed you could only stare at him, and you felt your heart jolt when his hand skated suggestively across your very lower back before he was disappearing back into the living room.

Suddenly, just as you were turning to glance back and see if you could get a look into the kitchen from where you were standing to make sure Johnny hadn’t seen any of that, you almost turned directly into that very man, who had seemingly just appeared out of nowhere with a scowl on his face that could've killed someone. There was a beer stain down the front of his shirt, and you failed to hide your satisfied look as you met his gaze.

"What.” You really didn’t want to talk to him, and you could tell by the furious look in his eyes that you weren’t going to like what he had to say. His gaze flitted over to where Ville had disappeared to, and his jaw clenched aggressively.

"I need to talk to you outside. Right fucking now." He jabbed a finger towards the balcony door that was in the corner of the living room, and you could just tell by the tense tone of his voice that you were about to get your ass reamed for Ville's actions both towards Johnny and towards you. Part of you wanted to just say no and escape from both Ville and Johnny so that you could actually enjoy your night, but you knew that wasn't plausible, so you just glared right back at him and sighed.

"Fine." You watched Johnny head straight for the door without even waiting to see if you were following. You shook your head but followed after him, heading out to the balcony and shutting the door behind you once you both reached it.

You were wishing that you’d at least popped a pill to make this night more bearable for yourself. Liquor just didn't seem to be doing the trick for the stress that both Johnny and Ville were pressing down onto your shoulders. Screw Jeff for being so biased in Johnny's direction.

"If you're going to yell at me for him being a douche, that's not my f—"

"Why the fuck did you come here? What the fuck is the point of still coming here when that fucking douche clearly wants you?" And there it was. You raised your eyebrows, because you hadn't expected him to be that forward about it, before scoffing.

"I'm sorry, you'll have to remind me how the hell that's any of your business." You snapped, narrowing your eyes at him as you pulled the last cigarette out of your pack. Of fucking course. This day just kept getting better and better. "I told you when you chose to budge yourself into this trip that I was coming here for work. I can't control what happens outside of that."

"Yeah, sure. Only for work." He motioned to the party still going full-throttle inside, and you could basically see the snark dripping from his voice. You chuckled in disbelief, lighting your cigarette and leaning against the balcony railing.

"Do you hear how pathetically fucking jealous you sound?" It was like he had no shame. He'd been very obviously spitting in your face with this whole girlfriend thing, and yet as soon as you were even vaguely around a guy who had actually shown some interest in you besides fucking you on the side and shouting at you about everything like a certain someone else, he cared about what you were doing all of a sudden.

"I'm not jealous." So he thought you were stupid. And blind, apparently. Even as he spoke, you could see jealousy tainting his features. It was like a dark cloud hung low over his head. You laughed again at that, and you could see fury forming its way onto his face.

"You are. Why the hell else would you have invited yourself on this trip? You hate Ville, and you know we stay with him when we're here." He had to be joking. There's no way he seriously thought you were going to believe him. Your voice was starting to raise with every word out of your mouth, but you couldn't help it. As time went on, you were just getting more and more sick of his fucking bullshit. "Listen. If you want to let him get to you, fucking fine. But don't bring me into it just because you think you have some sort of right to me."

"I'm bringin’ you into it because he’s a piece of shit, and you know exactly what he wants to do! He won't shut his goddamn mouth, and you can't even pretend to act like you care." Johnny's voice raised along with yours, and he jabbed a finger in your direction as he talked. You took a long drag of your cigarette before you responded.

"Why do I have to care? Neither of you are my problem. You're a grown adult, so you don't need someone to handle everything for you." You pointed out critically. Just because you knew Ville didn't mean that automatically made him your responsibility. "If he's hurting your feelings, then I don't know why you're still here in the first place. You might feel better with your face in Mandy’s fake ass tits."

"What do you want me to say? Fine! I fucking regret coming, okay? It's not fucking fun to sit here all night while he eye fucks you every time you're anywhere near each other knowing that you'll probably be spreading your legs for him by the end of the night."

You just stared at him for a second then, because you couldn't believe that those words had actually just come out of his mouth. On one hand, score, because he had just openly admitted his jealousy towards Ville, but on the other hand...what the fuck.

This, coming from the man that had literally begged to fuck you about ten minutes after his girlfriend had left whatever trashy hotel everyone was staying in multiple times before. What a fucking hypocrite.

"Do you think I have no self-respect?" You were jabbing your finger right back now, but by this point he fucking deserved it. He should've been lucky you weren't really screaming like you could've been. "And I can’t believe that you think you have any say! We are not together, and you have a goddamn girlfriend. Don’t whine your ass off just because I’m talking to a guy while I’m single."

"That shit doesn’t fucking matter." That was Johnny's well-thought-out response. And oh, he wasn't done. "And no. Honestly, I don't think you have any fucking self-respect. You've been loading yourself up with everything you can get your hands on tonight, and every time Ville talks to you I can see that stupid, desperate look on your face. You must think I'm an idiot if you think I'm going to believe that you're not begging for him to fuck you."

You recoiled at those words. Wow. He seriously believed that bullshit.

Well, if he was so convinced, might as well go and give him something to think about.

"You know what? Come and talk to me when you're not going to call me a whore, alright? Might as well fucking leave if you're going to be this upset about stupid shit." You sighed, flicking your cigarette off the balcony and then turning towards the door. You heard a sour scoff from behind you.

"Oh no. I'm staying. I'll be right fucking here when you end up with his dick down your throat in a couple hours." If only all of the people obsessed with Johnny's 'sweet southern charm' could see him now. You didn't look back, just held your middle finger up from behind you as you pulled the balcony door back open.

"Fuck you, Knoxville."

You were mad. Johnny's words had cut deep, and the fact that he'd decided to stay (which, despite his words, was clearly just so that he could basically make sure you weren't able to have any fun) made it all even worse.

So, when you moved back into the living room and past your friends, only to have Ville catch your eye and immediately start coming after you, you didn't brush him off like you usually would've had it not been under the current circumstances.

"No kiss and make up, then?" He put his hand on the wall next to your head once you stopped in a less-crowded corner of the apartment, leaning into it as he looked down on you with drunken amusement sparked in his eyes. You took a deep breath, shaking your head and trying to remind yourself that he didn't deserve your temper that Johnny had ignited. Well, he actually probably did a little bit considering he'd been the one instigating, but still. You didn't feel like arguing with him, too.

"What would be the opposite of that?” If only he knew what position he held between you and Johnny’s fight. You refrained from giving him any more insight than that.

"You can talk to me about it." He was smirking, still sounding like he was having way too much fun with this whole situation, and you laughed humorlessly and shook your head immediately.

"No. You already rubbed it in my face enough." You huffed, consciously aware of the fact that he was leaning in further and further by the second. He then leaned away, scoffing at that and sticking the cigarette that had been between his fingers back between his lips.

“Fine. We can talk about something else.” He supplied easily after he’d taken a long drag, smoke seeping out of his nostrils in thick tendrils as he eyed you intensely. “Can I ask you something?”

You didn’t know if you liked the sound of that, but you were past using any common sense, so you just nodded. His eyes moved past your face to the low-cut collar of your shirt.

“You know I want to fuck you, right?” His tone had dropped so low you almost didn’t hear him. Almost. You had kind of seen this coming, and he hadn’t exactly tried to hide it, but you still choked on the air in your lungs regardless. And, as you regained your composure, you promptly noticed Johnny at the balcony door, and he was staring right at the both of you.

You knew he was waiting. Waiting to have his guess confirmed, and probably waiting for a reason to flip his shit and add another reason to hate you to his seemingly growing list. So you made a decision.

“Yeah. I do.” You breathed, turning back to Ville and letting your eyes fall to his lips. If Johnny wanted to make assumptions and try and control something that he had nothing to do with, you might as well give him something to work with. You leaned up and closed the gap then, pressing your lips to Ville’s and immediately feeling his hand slide down to grip your ass. He knew Johnny was watching, too.

“There’s a guest bedroom.” Ville barely broke the kiss enough to speak, and you clearly saw him glance over at Johnny. “C’mon, darling. Give him something to look at.”

— —

The next morning, walking up to Johnny's hotel room after you were cleared by the front desk felt like walking into the fucking lion's den. You already felt shitty enough about your own decisions the previous night, but you knew he was about to make you feel ten times worse than what you could ever imagine.

Suddenly your idea to make sure he saw you leaving to clearly go fuck Ville didn't seem so great anymore.

As you knocked on his room door, you were starting to feel like you were going to throw up. You were already hungover as hell, and adding nerves on top of it whilst also running on an empty stomach was just making you feel worse and worse by the second.

And you weren’t feeling much better when the door ripped open to reveal Johnny with that same look that he'd had on his face while he'd been berating you the night before. In fact, you had to swallow hard to contain yourself at that moment.

"You didn't fucking call." That was the first thing he said to you. He hadn't moved like he was going to let you into the room yet, and you suddenly wondered if he was even going to at all. You chewed on the inside of your cheek.

"Figured you'd want me in person if you're gonna spit in my face some more." You knew he wouldn't let you leave if there was a chance that he would get the opportunity to call you every name under the sun, so you started it. You also started it because you knew you’d be able to finish it.

Just as you suspected, he stepped aside to let you in, and you could tell that he was clenching his jaw tightly as you walked past him and into his immaculate hotel room.

"So? Did he fuck you?" Also like you’d suspected, no soft openers with him. He shut the door a little bit harder than he needed to after saying that, and you took a deep breath before responding. You weren't going to apologize, and you also weren’t going to rationalize, but you didn't want to yell. Not yet, at least.

"Yep. Surprised you didn't hear it." Okay, so maybe that wording was on purpose just to infuriate him. And it clearly worked, because you saw a whole new level of anger flare in his eyes as soon as it was out of your mouth.

"You're a rare fuckin' breed, you know that? You spend forever complaining about Mandy, and then you go and just open your legs for him the second I leave you alone." He spat, jabbing a finger at you as he spoke. There was a good amount of distance between you, and you were thankful for it out of concern for what you would've done had that finger been jabbing in your face. "I bet you let him bust in you, too."

"Can you just say the word whore? Jesus. You don't have to keep coming up with all these elaborate ways to say it." You said flatly, crossing your arms and looking at him with all the disinterest that you had with pursuing this fight. "If you want to shame me for sleeping with someone who doesn't call me a whore, and for doing so while I'm single, then just say what you're really trying to say."

"Fine. You were being a fucking whore last night and I hope you realize how stupid you looked." Johnny snapped immediately, clearly losing any cool he still had left as he spat venom in your direction. "The only reason he fucked you was to rub it in my face."

"Oh, yeah. Because you know Ville so incredibly well." You could never understand what it was with men and just assuming that everything everyone did was about them. Ego at its finest. "Do you think I'm stupid enough to let myself be a fucking boasting piece?"

"Do you really want me to answer that? Because I think you know what I'm going to say." He scoffed, his eyes raking over you in a way that made your skin crawl a little bit. If you hadn't been so mad at him, and if you weren't so stubborn on this whole situation, you would've been hurt by the fact that he clearly had no qualms on basically calling you an object.

"How is it fair! How the fuck is it fair that you can have an entire fucking girlfriend, but I have to come over here and rationalize myself to you for sleeping with someone? I’m single, and you’re not.” Instead, you were at the end of your rope. It wasn’t fair. None of this was fair. The fact that he kept making you out to be the villain was starting to get to you, and you couldn’t help how hysterical you sounded.

"We’re basically broken up, for the last fucking time! And, also for the last fucking time, it’s none of your goddamn business.” Once again, he wanted to make it seem like you had no right into the personal life that he had forcibly pulled you into when that’s exactly what he was currently doing to you. “You fucking him just proves that you wanted to fuck him when we were still dating.”

“What did you think I was going to do when one of you was shouting at me and calling me stupid and the other one can actually talk to me without saying the meanest, most hurtful shit he can think of off the top of his head?" You were close to shouting now, but you were getting exasperated. You knew he thought if he pulled a big enough pity party that you would just keel over and apologize, but he clearly didn't know you well enough, because that was not fucking happening. "You're the oldest out of all three of us, and yet you're the only one who can't grow the fuck up."

"Really? I can't grow the fuck up? Coming from the girl who clearly just makes every bad decision that comes to her head just to spite everyone who fucking cares about her?" Oh, and the truth comes out. But you just laughed at that, because if he really cared, he wouldn't have talked to you the way he had been lately.

"You just think it's a bad decision because you can't get over the fact that you fucked this up and now somebody else gets to fuck me." You scoffed, sitting down on his bed and pulling that same bored look back onto your face. "If you're so goddamn angry at Ville, then why don't you talk to him? I don't want to listen to this over and over again just because you’re making up things to be insecure about."

"I'd rather kill myself than listen to that piece of shit talk more than a fuckin' sentence." Of course, jealousy would always win. Jealousy and bitterness, both of which Ville and Johnny clearly shared an equally chronic case of. "I bet you'll go back and fuck him after you're done here, won't you?"

"What—no, PJ. I fucked him last night because I was drunk and my feelings were hurt. Really fucking hurt." You sighed, taking a deep breath as you tried to talk some sense into Johnny. "I'm not going to lie and say that I didn't want you to see us, but that's not the reason for all of this shit. I just wanted to be around someone that wasn't going to make me feel like a piece of shit human being."

And that was the honest truth. You inhaled and then exhaled slowly before continuing.

"I don't want to lose you, alright? I don't. I know last night was my own mistake, but you have to realize that you've been making some fucking mistakes, too. I'm willing to take blame, but you can't just act like you haven't done anything." It wasn't apologizing, but you were definitely putting out an olive branch. "I just want you to talk to me instead of shouting in my face."

That seemed to set him in a different place. He finally started to move away from his defensive position near the door, and then he let out a heavy sigh as he stopped in front of you.

"Why'd you break up with me?" Ignorance was bliss, apparently. You just stared at him for a second, because that answer should've been pretty fucking obvious, then sighed when he said nothing.

"All we did was fight. About everything. You don't know how to communicate, and we're horrible at making an effort to even see each other." You had been on your last nerve with Johnny when you’d finally cut the last strand holding the two of you together. And he’d made it much worse with what had come after. “And you’ll excuse me if I’m having a hard time being anywhere near you after everything since then."

"I’m going to break up with her." He mumbled in response, sounding much like a broken record. For being several years older than you, Johnny sure had a tendency to act like a whiny little bitch. You shot him a look at that, because seriously? Once again, he was just spewing bullshit to save himself.

"I don’t even want to talk about her. Please. I'm asking you to actually talk through things with me instead of freaking the fuck out and blowing everything up into a huge pissing contest." It's like everything was just going in one ear and out the other with him.

"So you're asking me to beg you to take me back? Because I'm not doin' that." Like you’d said, in one ear and out the other. You groaned and dropped your face into your hands, starting to feel as if you’d exhausted all your energy. He was about as hard-headed as a person could get.

"No. Just please take a fucking deep breath and calm down. Enough to actually tell me what you're thinking instead of just spitting at everything I say." You said frustratedly, motioning to the other side of the bed that you were sitting on. "Can you at least sit down?"

He hesitated for a second before doing as you asked, sitting as far away from you on the bed as he could get as he continued to look at you with that same betrayed look on his face. You then turned completely in his direction so that he had to look at you.

"Listen. I am willing to…work…on this. But you need to make me some promises." You said slowly. Once again, not apologizing, but definitely an olive branch. “I will not go anywhere fucking near you until you break it off with Mandy. It’s not fair to her, and it’s not fair to me. And if you talk to me again like you have been, I will never speak a word to you besides work ever again.”

"I can call her when you leave." Finally, after what felt like forever of getting nothing out of him, Johnny finally gave you something solid to work with after a long beat of silence. You nodded.

"Okay. Second, I think we should agree to stop drinking around each other.” Liquor and narcotics had been at the forefront of almost all of your serious fights, and you knew that it did the both of you no good when you were plastered and angry. He didn’t seem as on-board with that one.

"Even beer?" Of course, he didn't see a problem with his actions. You just stared at him and nodded like you couldn't hear his ridiculing tone of voice. He looked away from you then, eyes trained hard on the wall as he inhaled deeply and then ran a hand heavily through his hair. "Okay. Fine." He agreed, seeming to decompress a little bit at the compromise between you. You nodded, taking a deep breath and trying to find your next step.

“Once you can do that, I’m willing to spend more time together with just the two of us. All we do is party or work when we're together, so let's do something else when we get back." You could only do so much bonding when you were wasted off your asses and throwing up everywhere. "But you have to give me time, PJ. You have been a fucking asshole lately.”

“Yeah, that goes for both of us.” Johnny was clearly still on the fence about compromising fully with you, and there was still a hint of animosity in his eyes as he looked at you. You just ignored him.

"I would like it if you stayed and actually had some fun with us, but you have to promise me that you're actually going to let me work. I came here for a reason, and I'm not going to ditch my job just because you don't like the person who employs me." You were really pushing yourself to make this work. Despite all of the shit you’d been throwing back and forth at each other, you really did still love Johnny, and you would’ve been lying if you had said this distance between the two of you hadn’t been hurting you immensely.

"I'm not staying." He said immediately. When you clenched your jaw, because once again, your talking to him clearly meant nothing, he sighed. "I mean...I just can't. It's not fair to you for me to be here, and all me bein' here is gonna do is cause more problems."

Okay. That was a step in the right direction.

"Are you sure? You really don't have to go. I'm fine with splitting my time." You didn't want him to leave just because of Ville. There had already been enough drama in the singular night that you’d all been in Helsinki so far. "There's lots of shit to do here."

"I'm willing to spend more time with you, and I wanna, but I'm not doin' it here." Clearly his jealousy ran as deep as the ground of Finland did. You had to give him credit for his devotion to hating Ville.

You took a second to swallow that information. You didn't know whether him leaving early made you feel better or worse about this whole situation, but you knew you wouldn't be able to change his mind. And you knew you wouldn't be able to work with him and Ville anywhere near each other, so you weren't going to try.

"I can come with you to the airport, if you want." You were starting to lean towards feeling worse about everything now that you knew he was leaving because of you. You could barely look at him, but you were forcing yourself to.

"It's fine. Just get your work done, and we can talk about this more when you come back to LA." He reassured you flatly, reaching out and taking your hand where you were still kind of staring at him. "I'm sorry I yelled at you, alright?"

"Yeah. Alright." You wasn't apologizing. You knew he was expecting it, and you saw the hint of displeasure on his face at the fact that you hadn't done so, but you didn't care. You hadn't done anything wrong, and you weren't completely done being mad at him, either. "I won't see you again until I’m back, then?"

He clearly swallowed his pride in that moment, because there was a moment of silence before he responded. "No."

"I'm going to be working for the rest of the time I'm here, so the best time to call me will be in the morning. So late night your time." You didn’t know if you had the emotional strength for phone calls with the man in front of you right now, but you knew you needed to offer if you had any hopes for repairing what had been broken between the two of you.

You got up then, pulling your hand from his and then feeling the urge to shake this entire conversation off of yourself. You wanted to be anywhere but inside of this hotel room, and despite the fact that your conversation had actually gone a lot better than what you were expecting, you still felt like shit. And he wasn't exactly making it better.

"...you're not going to fuck him again, are you?" One step forward, three steps back. Jesus fucking Christ. You continued where you were going back towards the door, trying to take a deep breath in order to prevent starting this whole fight over again.

"No. And if you ask again, I'll block your number." You weren't playing his games anymore. You were willing to try and repair everything that had gone deeply wrong between you and Johnny, but you had a breaking point, and you were way past it. "Just say goodbye and that you'll see me when you see me. Quit making it worse."

There was silence after that, and for a second you really thought that he was just going to let you go without a word. But then, just as you grabbed the door handle of his hotel door, he finally let out a breath.

"Thanks for coming over here. I know you didn't want to." That was the best he could come up with. It wasn't what it could've been, which was another horribly insulting name or jab, but it was literally nothing else more.

All you felt was unease as you left that hotel room. Nothing more. Nothing less.

[uummyuu]

orion fc headcanons

no one writes for orion fc i am here to change that <33, also this is severely meda biased im sorry he's so hot :((

considering how little orion actually appears in the show they're probably the type of team to keep out of the media, OR most of the media surrounding their team is around coach black since he's quite the established astronomer + still pretty well revered in the scientific community

the boys probably prefer keeping out of the spotlight cause it's easier for them to just focus on playing and has them feeling free to take up whatever side hobbies they wish without the media sniffing up their ass

but the team definitely goes on those museum field trips whenever a new space concerned exhibit pops up, i would say the entire team is pretty interested in space/astronomy but meda himself wanted to be an astronaut one day which didn't entirely pan out so he lives his dreams vicariously through coach black's training methods

it's because of this that they respect coach black, he's taken years of study on the stars and countless galaxies they couldn't even think of. he's literally adept at launching rockets into space and living in one, who wouldn't admire that? (if only he wasn't a cheater, but they follow him anyways due to them seeing his tactics as "scientific development")

they're deadass just a team of well-built nerds who happen to like playing football. meda does decently well in press conferences but put any other member in front of the mic and they might trail off from the game to actual space facts or something... (call it the coach black influence i suppose).

meda doesn't really understand the seemingly bloodthirsty rivalry some teams have off of the pitch, like yeah he trash talks opponents sometimes (i say sometimes cause orion literally only appears like once/twice a season or never at all, who knows he could be trash talking all the time) but he limits it to ON the pitch only.

all of them are introvert leaning, they just play up the attitude for the cameras. coach black tells them to act competitive and they literally have no idea how so they just resort to shit talking.

the entire team probably has a big gap moe thing going on where during games they aren't afraid to shittalk their opponents but off the pitch they're completely friendly and polite, just average joes with a lovely little french accent peeking through at times. overall very gentle guys!

they think they're so clever by picking their player names after constellations/space related things but off the pitch they call each other by their real names cause it feels a little silly after awhile. (they don't even bother sticking to meda's name it's only adromeda to them during a match)

i swear i knew some of the other players + the goalie's names but i forgot them :((((( im being a fake fan rn

they're definitely the types for late night picnic dates where they drive to a place with no light pollution so they can stargaze. the types to guide your hands making you point at stars while you lay on their chest or something.

the collective casualwear aesthetic for the team is either comfy sweaters/cardigans or business casual polo and khakis no on between, dark academia leaning. some of them need to wear glasses too but they just wear contacts during games despite the risk. (meda in a cardigan and glasses please see my vision of him as a soft library boy...)

all of the players' individual social media accounts are private and the pictures literally only consist of a. practice days, b. pictures of the night sky, and c. if they're married/seeing someone they share pictures of the dates they go on sometimes.

they share the public orion fc natter account and that's about as public as they get. if you manage to get into one of their private accounts it's a literal orion fan's treasure trove like holy shit there's so much good behind the scenes stuff there.

the team is essentially one little fandom of space nerds where they can talk about constellations and are genuinely rather intelligent in regards to astronomy whether it's from self-interest of picked up from coach black. they construct and discuss well thought opinions on new scientific happenings together, they would literally have a discord server and have different channels for the various phenomena they discuss;

[andromeda: hey guys! i know you're discussing the revised black hole picture recently uploaded(super exciting i know!) but this is the star sign channel where d'etoile talks about horoscopes! if you could move over to #space-photography🌌 that would be great!]

yes meda is a discord mod, i do not regret this headcanon at all.

anyways a small throwaway headcanon is that d'etoile phinus (their goalie) is super into horoscopes and gives his teammates concerningly specific but also weirdly accurate readings on what might happen throughout the day, and always carries his horoscopes lucky item around. (probably has a cute boyfriend but i won't get into that)

[venusvity]

"did you lie to me?"+ jiah

IN WHICH ... Best Friends Aren't Supposed to Lie.

FEATURING ... KLARA BLIX + CHLOE LEE

TRIGGER WARNINGS ... Mentions of Sex, Name Calling, and Arguing.

"And she's just so fucking stupid–Oh my god! I can't stand her!"

"Can you, like, be quiet?" Klara tells Chloe in a hushed tone, looking at her wall then back at her best friend. "She literally lives with us."

"Okay?" Chloe snaps condescendingly at her. Klara rolls her eyes, shaking her head as her arms jut out in dejection.

"It's her choice, Chlo. Did you really think she was going to stay away from him for long?" Klara knows Sena fairly well. She doesn't consider them best friends but she does know her and few of her darkest secrets from late night conversations they had when they shared a room together. Sena was bound to go back to Yeojun eventually because that's what she always did.

Klara didn't really see it as a big deal. Sure, Yeojun was a cheater and a bad boyfriend but he never physically hurt Sena or made her do anything she didn't want to. Sena told her he rarely even yelled at her. In Klara's opinion, he wasn't that big of a problem just a pest that will eventually go away.

"Oh my god, you don't get it." Chloe groans dramatically as if the world is falling apart and Klara isn't seeing it. Klara looks around her room with just her eyes before shrugging.

"Yeah. I don't. Why would I care what Sena does with her love life?"

"Because it's stupid!" Chloe argues. Klara blinks at the elder before sighing loudly, shaking her head as she throws her hands up in defeat.

"Whatever the fuck that means," Klara laments, opening her dresser to get ready for bed. Every talk she has with Chloe practically exhausts her now. Chloe is going through something. Klara doesn't know if it's healing or unraveling but either way she's worried. She hasn't been Chloe be this erratic since she was dating Hyojin. Even just thinking his name fills her with rage.

Chloe groans again, sitting herself on Klara's bed, signaling she's going to be here awhile. Klara doesn't mind. She'll just go to sleep.

"He's a bad guy and he's going to hurt her, Klara. That's why I need her away from him–"

"It's her life, Chlo," Klara reminds her as she pulls an oversized shirt over her head. Chloe sighs dramatically.

"Her life that she's destroying for him." Chloe is so dramatic, Klara thinks as she begins to shuffle through her bottom drawer for shorts. "All while she has great guys lined up for her like Elliot and Finn–"

"You fucked Finn." Their banter usually goes like this. Quick and off the top of their heads. They don't really think before speaking to one another.

"Yeah but only to show her she's stupid." And then there's a pause between them. Klara pauses her drawer digging to think for a moment, remembering the moment Chloe told her about Finn and their escapade. Slowly, Klara looks over her shoulder at Chloe. She's been caught and it's clear on her face.

"You told me you didn't know about Sena and Finn," Klara rebuttals, quirking a brow. "Did you lie to me?"

Chloe doesn't react for a second. Maybe even just a split second but that's all it takes for Klara to know Chloe lied. After years of being Chloe's closest friend, her only friend at some points, Klara knows when she's lying and when she's telling the truth. The girl scoffs with a disappointed shake of her head.

"Wow."

"I didn't lie–"

"You literally told me you didn't know they were a thing when you fucked him and now you only fucked the guy to get back at her? How is that not lying, Chloe?"

Chloe pauses again, looking at the floor as she scratches her head before looking back up at Klara with nothing to say. That makes the gears in Klara's head grind annoyingly, making her more agitated than before.

"I don't know what the fuck is going on with you but I'm really over all these...fucking schemes you keep pulling," Klara rants, completely turning to face Chloe who now has her guard up and arms crossed across her chest. It doesn't deter Klara. It never does. "But I need you to get over it and be a normal person again."

Chloe scoffs at the prospect of her being normal and Klara fights every urge to roll her eyes. She's going to play to victim card or try to bully Klara into submission. Lately, she's been playing the victim card as it seems Klara has outgrown being beaten into submission by a girl she barely recognizes some days.

"I'm sorry it's hard for me to be normal, Klara. I'll work extra hard to get through my trauma to make you happy," Her words are patronizing and insincere as her perfectly manicured hand rests on her chest. "I get over the life-altering events I went through to make you happy–"

"You should do it to make yourself happy, Chloe! Oh my fucking god!" Klara shouts, feeling herself getting too riled up to have such a delicate conversation. Klara takes a deep breath, putting her hands on her head as she shakes her head. Chloe has an unreadable look on her face but that doesn't shock Klara. She's mastered the art of the poker face for survival at this point. Klara can't stand it. She feels herself becoming unable to stand her.

"We'll talk about this later because I don't want to talk to you right now." Before Chloe can get a word out, Klara rips open her bedroom door for Chloe to leave, avoiding eye contact with the elder even though she so desperately wants to make some.

It takes Chloe a second to realize Klara is serious, looking around the room like she's embarrassed before pushing herself up. "Whatever," She huffs under her breath, rushing out of the room with her arms crossed. Klara can hear her call her a bitch under her breath when she makes it into the hallway.

Klara doesn't give her the satisfaction of a response. She only slams the door.

[alec-1016]

hey i watched and finished 911 lone star this week, so imma bring uo something that is very old(s1 or 2) but that impacted me A LOT

And that is the first(second? one of the first) tarlos fight, about Carlos telling his parents TK was his friend. I understand and feel for TK, especially after being fresh from a traumatic break up from a relationship in which he was clearly more invested than his partner(fuck u alex).

But I feel so much for Carlos. I am brazilian, like Rafael, and I feel like i live in the Reyes household, when Carlos was young. I am Carlos at 17, coming out, being hugged, being loved, and then having that part of himself be pushed under the rug. I will never come out to my extended family. I may take a while to transition medically, or never transition, not because I live with especially close-minded people, but because I live with humans that are sometimes afraid of what they don't know.

When Carlos said "I don't wanna rub their noses in it" I felt that, because I can't even talk to my mom about Lone Star without telling her that what drew me to it was the queer rep, esp the trans rep. Lat time I talked to my mom about a show like this, it was Star Trek Discovery, and she said "Wow, are there only gay people in these things you watch?". Needless to say, I tend to refrain from mentioning characters that arent cishet now.

I will have to cut contact with most of my family when I come out, if I wanna get married, get my name changed, etc.

When TK said "I thought they were nice people" and Carlos said "They ARE nice people. But they are not perfect" I felt that because I love my mom. She supported me though all of my crazy dreams, and my depressive episodes, my autism diagnosis. But she doesn't see her son when she looks at me, and she can't say my name. I have complicated feelings about my father, because he is a cheater w anger issues, but he calls me his son. He sends me articles on trans rights here in my town. He wants to see me become whatever I want. But he also left.

What I wanna say is, I never realized I needed latino rep in my media until I got it, especially queer latino rep. I am white passing, though both my grandmothers are/were black, so I always thought I was ok with seeing characters that were brunettes, like Hermione, or Belle. But seeing Encanto, and now Lone Star I actually saw my family there, with the mess and the thousands of tios and tias and primos, and the catholic guilt and the good food.

What I'm saying is Rafa said "The fact that we [Ronen and Rafa/ TK and Carlos] can just walk into your living room without your asking? Yeah, that brings me joy" bc ls is not a queer show.It's a show about first responders, and some of them happen to be queer. It's not next to RuPaul's drag race on the straming catalogue, but next to action shows. And it reminds me that people think that is "shoving it in theur faces". Because they feel queer rep, and queer PEOPLE should come with a warning, because they ferl they have the right to simply ignore out existence. Sometimes ut feels like simply existing is "shoving it in their faces" and I'm tired.

I am very privileged in my country, being the child of university professors, even though both of them grew up very poor. I am middle class, with fairly open parents and a queer sister, and for that I am grateful, and I realize that my situation is better than a lot of people's. I am not denying that. But it feels nice to see a story that looks like mine, not just a face. A story in US media, that I grew up watching and worshipping, far more than the relatively conservative media from Brazil(especially the novelas, jesus christ, someone save us from globo, recodrd and band and sbt), with a boy that reminds me so much of myself. With a trans male character for fuck's sake, that has to deal with the mess of dating as a trans person, of navigating your family and your transition. These people showed me that I am not alone.

Also Rafael is from my town and ever since I foumd that out I have been giggling internally, you guys have no clue 😅😅

Oh well, another rant no one asked for but I delivered anyways. I am very depressed, very disphoric and very hyperfixated on 911 ls, so...sorry, not sorry?

[the-unconquered-queen]

at this point I just replay HSS, TE, FA and LoA2 (because yes, it has it‘s problems but for a newer one it‘s pretty good) and wait for BoLaS 2, because most of the other books are just extremely disappointing. No PB, I do not want to play either a homewrecker, a cheater or whatever and i sure as hell do not want an emotionally unavailable SO, an indecisive one or an absolutely obsessed MC who has no business being the way they are

I actually like your idea of playing a widow quiet a lot. Grappling with the loss of a spouse or partner, returning to being a person on my own, learning to love again, recognizing that being in love again doesn’t nessecarily mean the other person left you life or didn’t shape you and that it didn’t mean you loved them any less - if i trusted PB with it i‘d love to read it! (Though this might also just be me projecting)

But right now Choices is extremely disappointing. Reading the translated books really makes me appreciate some of the old classics. they don’t make ‘em like they used to, sadly

Oh, I hear you. The only thing I'm playing at the moment is CoP 2 and peppering in some replays of past books that I love because while that's the proof that PB can make genuinely awesome content, they've definitely gone very one-note with the stuff they've been putting out. I cannot even begin to understand the appeal of all the infidelity plotlines and tbh, I don't want to. As for a widow(er) story, I'll say it's not really my speed, but believe it or not, I really believe that PB could do it right if they wanted to. Of course, if it followed the current trend, I'm willing to bet it'd be complete shit, but thinking about it, I really like how PB executed the grieving-spouse-finding-love-again thing with Thomas in MotY (and that's without him even being the main character), and if they kept that same energy, a widowed MC book could be objectively great. I would say, though, that in order for it to work best, I think the better course of action to take would be a multiple LI book with the possibility of not choosing a romance path in the end. For the former, the choice of LI could signify the kind of life MC wants to lead moving forward (would they go for a spontaneous and adventurous LI with whom they're always living in the moment and seizing every day, or maybe an LI who's more steady and makes them feel secure after their life was completely destabilized by the death of their spouse? There are so many possibilities to play with). As for the no LI path, its inclusion would be important because it could be that MC's final stage of grief is the recognition that they can be perfectly happy outside of a relationship (a contrast to how they previously would be dismayed by their unwilling singlehood). I say this not just because I'm sick of the single LI trend, but because I think that in allowing the players a choice in how the story goes (in an app called Choices, go figure), the story wouldn't feel like you're just being dragged along on what the writers are forcing the story to be without having a say in anything, and the chance to truly influence MC's journey would be what really makes an emotionally-charged book all the more poignant and moving instead of just flat. And, you know, @thefirstcourtesan gets her widow book :)

[fatherramiro]

A lot of folks have written or talked about Ángel and Krester being mirrors of each other (which is a reading that I’m 100% behind) but it’s also really interesting to me that Ramiro and Tove are also mirrors of each other. I haven’t seen folks talking about that so have some Friday night meta on Ramiro, Tove, and parallels (especially as it connects to possible future plots and the importance of Ángel and Krester to them, specifically). 

The biggest parallel moment people point to is Ramiro telling Ángel that he’d promised him he’d change and Tove reminding Krester that he’d promised her something. We can assume based on context clues that Krester’s promise has something to do with his sexuality, but I don’t think Tove just wanted Krester to go back into the closet. I think it specifically had to do with making reckless decisions with people who don’t have his best interests at heart - namely people of power and status who won’t hesitate to discard Krester if the moment serves them. On the flip side, Ángel’s promise could’ve been incredibly similar - I don’t think Ramiro would’ve put up with Ángel being a serial cheater who swore he’d change each time, I think Ramiro had Ángel promise not to do something reckless and stupid that could get them in a situation like they were in in Spain. So Tove and Ramiro’s parallel here goes beyond the Ángel/Krester implications and goes back to how similar Tove and Ramiro are.

Both Tove and Ramiro killed someone to protect the people or person they love most. We know for a fact that Tove’s flashback is an incredibly and deeply traumatic moment in her life. We never see Ramiro’s past, but given that he’s a queer man living in a time that was not kind to people like him, we can also assume whatever pushed him to kill the priest was a highly traumatic incident. Both have a deeply complicated relationship with religion. And when push comes to shove, both actively choose to do the right thing. Ramiro goes to warn Eyk about the mutiny, and when Iben “murders” Elliot, Tove defects to Eyk’s side because she won’t stand by and watch her mother enact more violence. 

So how does that connect to Ángel and Krester? Both Ángel and Krester are scarred, and if Krester’s scars came from that defining traumatic incident for Tove, it could be a safe bet to assume that Ramiro also killed the priest after he was responsible for Ángel’s scarring. While Tove ultimately loses her entire family during the simulation, she seems closest with Krester and his death is a turning point for her. Ramiro too loses the person he loves most — Ángel dies in his arms in episode seven. In episode three, Ramiro tells Ángel he’s going to do the right thing and leaves him after Ángel treats him cruelly. In episode five, Tove tells Krester she’s going to do what she should have done a long time ago and leaves him after Krester has behaved cruelly towards her thanks to Iben’s influence. Ángel and Krester are left to sit with the consequences of their actions — not that they hooked up, but that they actively hurt the people who care about them the most. Both Ángel and Krester are badly affected by the calling, which ultimately does claim Krester’s life.

Obviously, the analysis stops here because we don’t have more episodes to go off of. But Ramiro and Tove both make it to the end of the simulation loop, having lost the people who they care most about. They’re both connected both by their similarities and by the connection between Ángel and Krester; you can’t have Ángel without Ramiro, and you can’t have Krester without Tove. I like to think that if the show had gone on, the crux of both Ángel’s character development and Krester’s character development would have been illustrated by their relationships with Ramiro and Tove respectively. We already see this somewhat in season one, with Ángel and Ramiro reconciling which leads to Ángel developing positively as a character, and I do think that Tove would have had to be a key player in Krester’s growth (though it would ultimately be up to him to make the right choice). 

Again, there’s no easy way to end this because we don’t know the full story for either character. But I do think that as a fandom, the Ramiro and Tove parallels should be more discussed, and that they would play key roles in the narrative and would be the most important external part of the character development for both Ángel and Krester. Ángel and Krester are too similar to help each other grow - they need someone else to call them out and help them. And that’s where the important of Ramiro and Tove come in for the Ángel and Krester discussion, and to ignore either character is to dismiss a key part of that entire plot.

[jayflrt]

this is long sorry 😅

saw you guys talking about fanservice and i have some opinions about it. for starters i do think they were told to up it since members who didn’t really used to partake in it are doing so now. why i have no idea (i actually have a theory about it being because they’re all technically legal now, however that’s another convo) but it’s definitely more than it used to be. that being said i feel like it’s a thing with enha too. they have never been the type to tell us no, unfortunately, so if they think that the y/n type fanservice is what people want then they’re gonna continue doing it. and it is what people want sadly. since their debut they’re priority has been making fans happy even if it’s not what they themselves particularly want. it’s an issue i have with them actually because they need to start saying no and setting boundaries 😭 they are kind and people use that kindness to get whatever they want.

next is that their fanservice still isn’t that bad. it’s more than it used to be most definitely, but in comparison to some other bg’s? they are still relatively tame. it’s the fanbase that makes everything so extreme. like i have absolutely no issue with fanservice, but i cannot stand the reaction to it. not only does it generally make things seem more intense than they actually are, but sometimes it makes the guys look bad? like ik that people write him this way a lot on here (lowkey have a bone to pick with some authors and how they only portray him this way as if he has no actual personality traits), but the fact that people have genuinely called heeseung a fuckboy, cheater, playboy, and toxic as if they know anything about his personal relations? the way that’s he’s discussed you would never guess that off stage he a hopeless romantic loser (affectionate) 😭. and even outside the members that people have a tendency to say whatever they want about (heejake) it’s gotten bad. hoon for example has done a little more fanservice then he used to, but that doesn’t mean logical thinking should be going out the window. we all know that weverse translations are not accurate so why were there multiple hit tweets of him allegedly saying he wants to sleep with a fan, when in reality he was talking about a damn phone lockscreen? and nobody bothered to correct themselves? 😭

i partially blame how bad things have gotten on how young a lot of the fandom is and how they don’t know how to find a balance with things. because imagine my surprise seeing people call enha the most fanservicey group they’ve ever seen lol. y’all ever heard of vixx?

you guys also mentioned send off and dear lord. i think that was the true y/n takeover of the fandom. once people realized that enha genuinely like their fans and find interest in hearing about their lives ex. them asking us to post about our days on wv, watching engene vlogs, etc. they absolutely ran with it. i have been on entwt since enha debuted and never in my years have i seen so many people obsessed with the prospect of enha perceiving them? my entire tl got taken over by people making the same repetitive jokes about the boys being cheaters and selfies. like what do you mean we have celebrated 4 birthdays with jungwon and have never had an issue with canceling the selca day until this year and it was “oh but it’d be a cute surprise!” like you know what would be even cuter? him seeing cute sweet birthday messages under his tags and not your faces 🤗

anyways my main point is that while fanservice has increased it’s not the boys’ fault that things have gone to shit lol

i have noticed that sunghoon's been doing a lot more fanservice than before !! i remember i'd always say it's such a good day to be a jayhoon stan bc they never do fanservice 😭😭 but now hoon's playing up the parasocial relationship hard 😡 i do think it's honestly just belift seeing how their fanbase is like and trying to cater towards them more. since fanservice and the y/n treatment works then that's what they're gonna keep doing to retain their growth. but yeah i totally agree that i hope they can set more boundaries :// some of the fancalls feel so uncomfortable to watch because i feel like they're being held against their will 😭

that's also true!! i think engenes have a history for exaggerating things and making things more extreme than they need to be 🤧 like that fansign where people asked them if they're okay with their gf going to the movies with other guys or texting other guys LOL they definitely knew what was up and knew we'd like to hear some jealousy so they catered to that !! omg yeah i've heard some atrocious things they've been called and it makes me feel a little uncomfortable bc if that was being said about a random stranger,, i wouldn't like that person at all!! or i'd think they had incel mentality 😭 the fact that those get pushed on enha def feels weird but in terms of fanfiction i do think people are just writing them based on a trope, so i give authors the benefit of the doubt that they don't actually think that way !! but yeah the tweets that make them out to be sleazy....... like we don't know these men at all so these are very weird assumptions to make about people

the fate tour was definitely the rise of the y/n stans 😭😭 like EVERYTHING became about interactions and everything became a selfie trend (which i don't mind as long as it's harmless but having ensd on jungwon day???) but yeah idk if people realize it but the focus is slowly shifting from stanning enha as a group for their music and artistry to stanning them because they're boyfriend material and give their fans the y/n treatment 😔

[balkanradfem]

Wanted to drop in and say first of all that your blog is amazing! You have worded so articulately, so perfectly so many thoughts and feelings I've had recently. Well, rather I've had for a long time on some level but never really confronted with honesty until recently. It has taken a bit of time to ease myself into this world, as a new feminist.

I'm currently trying to list double standards between men and women, the ones that men have created to against women, to explain to someone who clearly doesn't "get it", but I'm getting sort of overwhelmed because they are basically ubiquitous, and more like double binds where you are punished either way.

I have beauty standards down. I've had pushback every time on this but I think I'm good there. There's also the way men have slurs for women who have sex (whore, slut) and for women who don't (prude, frigid). Men are not defined by their sexual history nor are shamed for it the way women have been forever.

They treat male cheaters better than female ones, even going as far as to say men should be allowed to cheat.

They say "not all men", but treat women like a monolith. They accuse us of playing victim when we bring up serious systematic male violence against women, in every country, but feel discriminated against if we don't take being expected to pay for dates and being drafted in some countries (all a result of patriarchy) as an equivalent oppression point.

They hold women to higher ethical standards. They hold women to higher standards of parenthood. They cry sexism if anyone doesn't take their crying seriously but relentlessly mock (and make memes out of) women showing emotions online, call them manipulative, and even use them as evidence that women should be restricted from working.

They're allowed to blame women for male violence and general bad behaviour from the men in their lives. They don't get blamed for choosing the wrong partner or breaking up the family if they decide to leave their partners after being treated badly. They're allowed to talk about single mothers like used cars and treat single fathers as heroes. They get free domestic and reproductive labour from women but want everything they do to be compensated.

They consider women focusing on their career instead of children to be selfish but not men.

They expect their loneliness to be taken seriously but consider lonely women defective.

Is there anything you could add, or correct? Do you have your own list of double standards you can share?

You got it down pretty good, I can't think anything off the top of my head, but I think the biggest difference is in the power of one's word, male words are believed to be shaping reality, while words that come from women are believed to be shaping nothing but lies and deceit, especially if they're speaking from the female perspective, and not recounting whatever men want them to.

I don't know if it can be called a 'double standard', but the fact that we weren't a part of the work force from the beginning, and were only allowed to participate in the latest versions of it, gives them a huge benefit, and they're using it to make sure women have the most ungrateful and exhausting work, while they take credit for it themselves, on top of underpaying the same women and making sure they don't progress as fast, or at all in the work field. If women do progress or start overtaking a specific field of work, it will immediately get demoted, underfunded, and disregarded as frivolous and not-serious-enough.

I feel like double standards are very tame words to explain the situation, even though it's a very good way to point out that we're not equal and how it can be visible in common beliefs and common treatment of women. We're basically living in a world that men built and shaped for nobody and nothing but themselves, with women meant only as servants, entertainment and resource for them to use. Nothing is created for women alone, not medicine, not healthcare, not resources, not buildings, not vehicles, not jobs, not families. All of these center men, benefit men, put men in the position of control, while women are seen as 'stepping out of their place' if they attempt to fight and win their own space and resources inside of it.

Women are being shamed and humiliated both before and after they're used and exploited by males, and even if they do absolutely everything they're supposed to, they're still likely to end up abused, wounded by injustice, forced into childbirth and marriage, ending with no shelter, resources, land or economic power of their own. Men, on the other hand, are more likely to inherit resources, gain economic power, hoard resources, land and will expect to trap a woman with what they got. We're essentially always put in position where we either manage to ward off from men or end up being exploited if we make one mistake, have one emotional and vulnerable moment where they get the best of us. Men can hardly say they face the same hardship - the most a woman can get from a man is some of his money, and it's still not going to give her opportunities to gain nowhere near as much as men can in today's society.

It's almost insane we still have to explain there's 'double standards', but I absolutely understand how it's practical to have a few on hand to be able to easily point out when someone is acting obtuse.

Whenever I see a woman online bullied for saying something not 100% considerate to all minorities on the planet, I imagine what would the reaction be if a man said that, and every single time, I can see dozens of men doing hundred times worse shit and getting away with it because they're just not believed to even be capable of that much consideration, and they're forgiven for it by default. If a man had acted online with the same behaviour as any problematic woman, he would be praised to heavens for how progressive and insightful he is. He would be considered a feminist, an icon, the best man in the world for doing even 5% of emotional labour that women do on daily basis. It pisses me off seeing people rage at women for shit they wouldn't make them blink if a man said.

I guess there's also double standards of 'how many men do we make die in childbirth, how many men do we impregnate and abandon, how many men do we use as sexual entertainment and resource, how many underage men do we marry off to older and predatory women who will rape them, how much torture and abuse of men do we watch on the daily basis to get off, how many men do we force to change their appearance to childlike so we'd have a better time predating over them', it becomes bit more obvious when you put it that plainly that we're in a position that cannot even be compared to mens.

If someone else can think of more examples, please add to the post.

[vi-sigoth]

if its not too personal, related to your rb on that marriage post, how did you get over being used up by your first relationship and eventually remarry? most women in your situation would either become much more feministic or whatever, and completely or mostly relinquish any thought of traditional living or "roles", or they would harden and never marry or enter a serious relationship again.

So, that relationship I was talking about—he was just my long-term boyfriend, we never married (thank fucking god, what a disaster that would have been, I’m so glad I didn’t get what I thought I wanted at the time).

But I’m very sad to say that I unfortunately did become “feministic” and very, very bitter. But I never gave into it entirely, and I never entirely gave up hope. When I was with my ex, we’ll call him “first ex” I started to hate men. I hated men, I didn’t trust them, I thought that all men were stupid and violent, and all men were liars, cheaters, and were not really capable of any form of love that I recognized. And if that sounds like a very sad way to live, it’s because it was. And SO MANY men and women think like this about the opposite sex. It’s just so devastating to me.

My parents are still married, but their relationship is very strange and rocky. I got with another guy shorty after First Ex. Now understand, First Ex, on paper, was actually pretty compatible with me. He was very based and racist, had similar religious views to me, and had similar moral, political and philosophical views. He was a lot older than me, which is what I thought I liked and what I wanted at the time.

But for all his claims about believing this and that, he didn’t live up to any of his views. Women were all untrustworthy whores to him, and he had cheated on every single girlfriend or wife he had ever had in his adult life, and was a porn addict. (Which is why, fellas and girlies, please thoroughly vet that cool “”””based”””” Tumblr trad person you’re thinking about e-dating. There are some people in the world who are very, very good at posturing) Second Ex was an on again off again thing for the next couple of years, and he was a degenerate leftist. Every single cringe leftist view you can name, he believed it. At the time, I lived in a section of a city that was very artsy, so I was surrounded by similar degenerate leftist men who were hitting on me all the time. Some of them were married or had girlfriends.

So given all of this, can you see why I hated men? I mean I hated men so, so, so, much.

But I never stopped believing that I would find a man who would loved me as much as I loved him, who would be my other half, who shared my views and values and who wanted to have me as a wife and mother to his children. I never stopped carrying that hope in my heart, even when I was lonely, single, and surrounded by losers. And that’s the other thing, the really difficult thing. Who dated a guy that pretended to be trad and based but actually wasn’t? Who then bounced almost immediately to a weaselly leftist cuck? Who surrounded themself with leftist urbanite male and female artists and academics?

Me. I did this to myself. I constantly accepted behavior I hated and disagreed with. I constantly bit my tongue while people around me agreed with things and behaved in ways I found disgusting and reprehensible because I was a weak coward that was afraid of making trouble or stirring the pot or standing up for what I believed in. I love my dad. He’s a dick. But do love him, and I owe part of the fact that I knew to eventually accept responsibility for my own behavior because I had a mother and a father that always tried to instill in me to not blame others for my problems and not have a victim mentality in my life. I had to accept that the reason I had this poisonous mindset, and that I was in my late 20s and still unmarried was about 95 percent my own doing.

It doesn’t excuse any of the horrible things my two ex boyfriends did to me, they were both uniquely awful people. But taking responsibility for my fuck ups, which was not an easy thing to do, because I REALLY fucked up my early 20s in so many ways, and recognizing that I needed to surround myself with better people is what led me to having friends that actually enrich my life and make it better, and not hating men so much led me to being open to men hitting on me (obviously, it didn’t mean I had to give them the time of day, just that I didn’t have to be so rude and aggressive like I used to be) and opening up my heart just a little bit is how I met my husband

I think that young people need to do this. You see men and women going the same, but opposite way. “All the women in this club are such whores! 😤” brother, what are you doing looking for a wife in a nightclub? “All men are trash!” Well sis, you aren’t generally going to find a good dude in your OnlyFans DMs. There’s a lot more to say about this, but really—for me, taking responsibility for my own actions and getting away from shit people is how I didn’t fall into the liberal feminist pit of despair.

And another thing? I realized that birth control is poison and I threw it in the trash one beautiful day in the early spring of 2020.