#because she's know me since i was 9 and we've gone through all these years together knowing each other's personality like no ones

[iftitah]

talked to school bestie 2 hours on phone god im out of breath with my chest hurting but it so worth the talk

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Would I be the asshole for breaking up with my partner over something my best friend told me?

Hi, I'm 20, (they/he) and have been seeing said partner, 23 (any, also I'll call them V from now on) for almost three years apparently. We met in 2020 at a BLM demonstration and quickly became friends. Back then I had been crushing on them for a while but was in a then closed relationship. My girlfriend of that time (20, she/her, let'scall her F) and I opened our relationship and around Halloween I told V. They asked if it was open sexually or also open romantically. After discussing it with F, we said romantically as well, even though I knew that I was unable to commit 100% to loving someone besides F.

Yes, I know. I should have been honest back then. And I was, in a way. I told V that I didn't think I could love them the same way I loved F. It didn't matter then. But it does now.

F broke up with me in February and since then V and I have gotten closer and gone on regular dates and stuff. I still can't love them the way I should, though. I don't know why. We send each other hearts all the time and I tell them I love them, but only in English, because the words in my native language are too heavy and more meaningful (to me at least).

Now I have thought about breaking up with V thousands of times, and always felt bad because how do I explain that even though I said it(that I loved them) I never meant it 100%?

Last week my two best friends W (20, any) and K(20, he/him) (who are dating btw) were supposed to look after my cat (3, she/her). V was there when W showed up and I explained what to do, when to feed her etc.

Now apparently, when I was gone for a hot second to take out the trash or something, V bit W. V has always been a very affectionate and touchy person which has put off both W and K before, since they barely know V and aren't that touchy even with people they know very well (like me. We've known each other for 9 years and been best friends for 8 and 6 of those respectively). So W told me they signalled that they felt uncomfortable with that but V tried to do it a second time and was only apprehended by W fleeing.

Normally, this kind of boundary violation would cause me to cut ties with someone immediately. I am not a stranger to unwanted affection and know that W feels extremely violated by this. It affected them so much they were mentally incapable to take care of my cat and in the end, V ended up looking after her. Which is why it is so hard for me to know what to do.

W is my best friend. I love them dearly and wouldn't have survived school without them. They were violated and felt so horrible and dirty they had to take a long shower to even feel like a person again.

V is my partner who keeps telling their friends and family how well things are between us. I love their mum and I know some of their friends through work and the CSD parade. I feel so guilty about sort of lying to them and saw this incident as an out of a relationship that should've provably ended months ago.

So would breaking up with them over this make me the asshole?

What are these acronyms?

[runnning-outof-time]

Everything Is Alright | Arthur Shelby x Reader

Request: no - written to celebrate @there-goes-thefighter ‘s tumblr’s 9th birthday

Pairing: Arthur Shelby x reader

Summary: Arthur and (Y/N) spend a special evening out under the stars and recall how they came together.

Warnings: mentions of drinking, one bad word

Word Count: 1473

A/N: here K goes again…writing another story to the tune of a song. This one was inspired by The Glorious Sons’ ‘Everything Is Alright’ I thought it fit well with Arthur. Congrats on 9 years, Bri!! I can’t believe that you put up with this hellsite for that long! I’m so thankful to be part of your journey! Enjoy! :)

PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!

Comment/Message me if you’d like to be tagged in future stories similar to this one!

"How much longer are we going to go for?" Arthur's voice came from behind (Y/N), who was still a few steps in front of him despite her stopping and waiting for him to catch up at least three times.

"We're almost there!" she called back to him, briefly turning so that she could look in his direction, "you should know where we're going by now, Arthur!"

"Forgive me, love, it's been a long fucking time since we've went walking around the woods at night!" he yelled back, his words holding no anger, but rather confusion.

"We're almost there!" she repeated her previous statement, giggling a little at what he said.

The couple walked for a short while longer before coming to a stop at the edge of a small hill, where the land tapered off softly enough to create a natural seat. (Y/N) finally stopped and began laying out the blanket that she'd brought with her. She looked to Arthur when she was finished, seeing that he was looking out at the dark field in front of them with a fond smile on his face.

"Now do you remember where we are?" she asked, her hands finding her hips as she grinned over at him.

"How could I forget?" he looked over at her, the corners of his eyes crinkling slightly as his smile widened.

"Come, sit with me," she beckoned him, extending one of her hands to him as she stepped closer to the blanket they were standing on either side of. He took her hand and they sat down together, both chuckling softly as their shoulders bumped.

Silence fell around them once they were sitting comfortably, both occupied with looking up at the starry sky above them. It was beautiful out; a perfect night to represent all that they'd gone through together.

"Can you believe it's been nine years, Arthur?" (Y/N) broke the silence, glancing over at him after she finished speaking.

"I can't..." he started off with a bit of a chuckle, continuing before she could jump on him with questions, "I don't know how I managed to keep you for that long."

The second half of his statement made (Y/N) rethink her reaction to it. She pursed her lips together to try to hide her smile as she looked out at the moonlit field. "Do you remember the first night we met?" she asked then, her voice softer than it was before.

"Course," Arthur responded without a second thought. "I spent all my money on a pack of cigarettes for a lady that I knew I loved, but whose name I forgot," he began recounting the first night they'd spent together.

(Y/N) couldn't be surprised at his statement. She knew that it was nothing against her personally, and that rather it was because Arthur was terrible with names. Still, the first part of that sentence made her heart flutter. How could he have loved her if he'd just met her? "You taught me how to laugh that night; with all of your stories about your siblings and what you got into as a kid," she stated, grinning at the memory.

"And you taught me how to slow dance properly," he reminded her, chuckling softly at the memory of them sharing a haphazard dance together.

"Yeah...I couldn't have you keep stepping on my toes," (Y/N) pointed out.

"You still wouldn't let me take you home, even after all of that," he remembered how their night ended.

"I believe I told you that 'you don't stand a chance'," she backed his statement up by providing succinct details of it, turning to look at him with a grin then. "It's probably because you didn't remember my name," she teasingly added, knocking her shoulder against his as he rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, sure," Arthur shook his head while he failed at concealing his grin, snorting then as he dropped his gaze to his lap, "I didn't see you for bloody months after that...thought I'd made you disappear."

"I did kind of disappear, didn't I?" (Y/N) wondered aloud, setting her hands behind her so that she could lean back on them, stretching her legs out as well, "I set out on a dream that I didn't quite understand at that time. I thought it'd make me happy, but it only ended up making me sad and lonely..." she paused, exhaling a sigh as she recalled the brief period of time she spent in London, trying to make it as a writer, "if I'd only known what I had back in Small Heath, maybe I wouldn't have left at all. I certainly wouldn't have had to carry out all of those favors for those people I thought were my friends...helping them get further in their careers while mine stayed cemented to the ground."

Arthur sent her a sympathetic smile, knowing how tough it was for her to come back to Small Heath at first. He wouldn't tell her, but he remembered seeing her sitting alone in a corner booth at the Garrison, looking as defeated as ever as she nursed the drink in front of her. It hurt him to see her like that. At the thought, he reached back and placed his hand over hers, squeezing it softly as a silent gesture before he exhaled a slight chuckle. (Y/N) looked at him with furrowed eyebrows as she heard his laugh, wondering why he was responding like that. He shook his head slightly before looking up at the stars again. "Then I went and punched a man on his wedding night..." he started off, grimacing at the thought.

(Y/N) let out a laugh when she realized what he was thinking about, remembering that night full well. It was the night that they found each other again, having been invited to the same wedding through separate, mutual friends…she knew the groom and Arthur knew the bride. "I still can't believe that you did that," she commented, laughing about it now, but remembering very well that she was shocked at his actions when they happened. She was also the only one who was able to talk him down from whatever trip he was going on, and they’d become inseparable since.

"I'm still trying to figure out how to apologize for it," he stated, his grimace still present when he looked over at her, "but I'm happy for the fact that it brought me back to you," he added, his words making her reach over and run her hand down his cheek. He turned his head and pressed his lips to her palm, making her giggle at the tickling sensation his mustache created.

Silence shrouded them again as they shared a lingering look before looking up to the stars again. Moving out to the country - which allowed them to be closer to this spot - was the best decision they'd made. Once (Y/N) found out that this particular property was for sale, she made it her mission to make sure that they bought it. Money wasn't much of a problem for Arthur anymore, and he wanted to make sure that his wife, then fianceé, was happy. So they purchased the property and built a lovely home, and life, on it. Now neither would trade it for the world.

(Y/N) took a deep breath and let it out slowly, loving the feeling of fresh air entering her lungs. "Everything is alright..." she began, looking at Arthur again, "if only for tonight."

Neither knew what the next day held. Tommy seemed to be in the middle of his last elaborate scheme and his next, so all of the Shelby family members were enjoying the in-between time with their families. There was always that chance that tomorrow they'd get that phone call rounding everyone up back in Small Heath, but for tonight, everything was alright.

"I've forgotten what it feels like..." Arthur broke the momentary silence, his words making (Y/N) look at him, "you know, for everything to be alright for once."

"I know," (Y/N) agreed, nodding her head softly. She smiled at him then, thankful that he was the one who she was going to spend her life with. Sure it got messy at times, but she wouldn't have it any other way. "Happy nine years, Arthur," she softly said then, leaning in closer to him before continuing, "I love you," she finished her statement off in a whisper due to their close proximity.

"I love you, (Y/N)," Arthur grinned at her before he leaned in even closer, eliminating the rest of the space between them so that he could press his lips to hers in a passionate kiss.

Everything was most certainly alright...even if it was only for the night.

Tagged: @the-anxious-youth @mystcldydrms @look-at-the-soul @mrsalwayswrite @julkaamazing @evita-shelby @lilyrachelcassidy @shelbydelrey @december16-1991 @onlydeadcells @peakyswritings @watercolorskyy @strayrockette @peakyduchesss @alexxavicry @stevie75 @dark-academia-slut @zablife @cillmequick @letal-y-poetica @depxiety @shelundeadxxxx @areyenotfondofmelobster @padfootdaredmetoo @crabat-the-queen @sebastianstangirl01 @just-a-blackhole @anotherblinder @christinasyellowflowers @insanitybyanothername @daisyblinder @wotcherpeak @call-sign-shark

MASTERLIST

Listen to the song Everything Is Alright by The Glorious Sons:

HERE.

[marshmallowprotection]

as i’m playing ray’s route again(not enough hourglasses for the AE yet lol) i kept thinking about how, in a realistic scenario, i particularly would have a hard time to actually start a romantic relationship with saeran right off the bat you know?? please don’t get me wrong!! i understand everything that he has gone through and his reasonings but after everything is “alright” (in the AE for example) it would be so insane to actually just have a normal relationship 😭😭 partially i blame that on my trust and commitment issues but the way saeran treats MC in his route hits a little too close to home(even if i wouldn’t really be that shaken by the insults etc)

since you are like the saeran expert i would like to hear your thoughts in a situation like that

Mystic Messenger asks you to suspend your disbelief in reality for the sake of the game. That goes for every character you romance, that is not limited to Saeran. Every Route would not happen that way if that situation played out realistically. 11 days? Yeah, no way. That's not the way things would work in our world. But, because it's a video game, I know that all of us shrug it off and go with it because it does a rather good job at making the romance feel realistic with what they have to work with.

So, hey, it's not weird to be like, "Hey, I love you, Saeran. I see myself in a relationship with you in the future once we've had more time to be sure of ourselves and what we want, but I don't want to rush into this while we're still working on finding your freedom and you want to know who you are outside of Mint Eye. Can we not put a label on us while we learn how to be together?"

And by God, that man would respect your decision to wait no matter what. If you told him that you didn't want to be with him, he wouldn't be upset, either. He's happy to be your friend if that's all you want to have with him. it's okay. He just wants to know that you'll be happy in life and as long as you've got that, he's okay with whatever label you want to have with him. You don't need to be afraid or paranoid about what he might think.

Saeran says these things himself during the Route. He respects your autonomy. He wants what you want. GE Saeran is someone you can count on. Ray and Suit Saeran made mistakes along the way but the two of them wanted to make it right for you, and that desire of theirs by the end comes to be a huge factor in who GE Saeran is. You don't have to forgive either of those two right away, either. Remember the night 9 conversation with Suit Saeran? He says you don't need to be accepting of his apology. He wanted to give it regardless.

Ray didn't want to hurt you, either. He fought against the cult and lied to save you multiple times once he began to take your words as what was the actual truth. You were so close to helping him decode his cult programming up until the moment that Rika wrenched him away and tried to break his new-found spirit out of him before she lost control of him. His apology is in there, too. Their apologies aren't excuses for their actions or choices, but it's a part of the journey to be better men in your life.

You get to choose what you want from them. Do you want to take an apology? Do you not want it? Do you want to take a chance on letting them in your life? Do you want them gone? That's a part of what you have to think about when you're trying to make a relationship with GE Saeran. Do you see yourself moving with the past and walking to your future with him after everything that's happened? So, of course, you have the right to define what you want and Saeran will work with you on that.

If I were writing the Route myself outside of the context of a video game, I would say that Another Story would take place over 6 months to a year instead of 11 days. Saeran's After Ending wouldn't be as fast as it is, either. That's roughly a month and some change, I'd probably chop that up into 2-3 months with a lot of bonus content.

[king-direwolf]

RWBY Volume 9 Chapter 8 Spoilers

I just really have to get my thoughts out here.

Part of me really hopes that Neo isn't gone gone. Like get the cat out of her and she's back. She has been my favorite of all the antagonists since she showed up. I don't think they can pull off making her a good guy if she lives. The most would be helping the group and then leaving. Again, that's if we even get her back.

The main thing going through my head is her realization of "what am I even going to do now?". All she wanted since Torchwick died was revenge. And she got it. And she sat there paralyzed because what is she even doing now. She's not like Torchwick or Cinder, or Salem. She doesn't have an agenda. She doesn't want to take over the world. The only things we've seen her actively want are helping Torchwick (we don't really have her reasoning for helping him, but I think it's mostly because she liked him) and killing Ruby.

The whole thing of Torchwick going "Offing little red can't be all you wanted. Right?". It was. Her motivation for several seasons (I think it's a little over two years in universe) has been so shallow. Her driving force for over two years has been revenge against one person, and now that she's dead what can Neo do? She's not really interested in helping Cinder. She only agreed to help her because she was her best chance at getting revenge. She knows that Salem is probably going to win and who knows what the world will be like after that. Neo has always been the one on the sidelines helping whoever is going to benefit her the most. And now...it's just her. With motivation she's unstoppable. But unless she figures out what she wants to do with the rest of her life she's lost. Salem won't be interested in having her join them. And...Cinder kinda betrayed her at the end of Volume 8.

Again. That's all IF we get Neo back. She could very well be completely gone from the show forever for all we know. I would hope they wouldn't do that. Although if that truly was the end of Neo, Torchwick still got a lot less of a send-off than she did.

Anyway, no matter what, Neo will always be my favorite and I really hope she isn't dead (the cat thing feels more like possession than killing her, so we'll see).

[bumblerhizal-art]

Okay okay okay okay how about, for the OC Codex prompts:

5. letters between two of your OC’s companions about them for Radka

12. your OC overheard while drunk for Pavle

8. your OC’s doctor/healer talking about their injuries for Novhen (am I thinking post-Archdemon? Maybe. But feel free to pick another point in time. Also ignore the quiet chanting of "angst, angst, angst!" in the background, that's nothing ^^)

Mix and match as you please, pick the ones you like, and have a lovely day! ^^

oh boy thanks for the ask! it’s not quite what you asked for, but i hope it’s good enough!

[Ask Game]

Content Warnings

All: Alcohol

Third: Blood, Vomit, Trauma, Parental Death (you wanted angst ¯\_ (ツ)_/¯)

5. letters between two of your OC’s companions about them

L,

We have arrived in Antiva safely. To think, just a year ago, our mutual friend was complaining of Ferelden's sun, but here, she's buried herself under so many veils to keep from burning that we won't even need disguises.

You need not worry in the slightest for her safety. As I'm certain she's telling you in her own letter, we're only getting moderately overzealous in our missions. I'll be sure she returns to you in one piece after we've had our fun.

As a quick aside, what types of wines do you prefer? We ask for no particular reason.

-Z

12. your OC overheard while drunk

An fragment of unaddressed letter apprehended from a servant at Vigil's Keep detailing a drunken conversation overheard from outside the Warden-Commander's quarters:

"And have you heard about that bullshit with the Hawkes?"

"At length."

"The real cherry on top is that that Garrett's a mage. They sent me to fucking Ferelden for that, but he gets to inherit the family estate? What did he even do? Take a vacation to the Deep Roads? I did all that and stopped a Blight, and I can't even return home to the Marches without getting carried off to the Gallows!"

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves. As I recall, while I shlepped through the actual Deep Roads, you were drinking wine with the king-to-be. Hardly the same thing."

"You owe the Diamond Quarter a visit if you think what I was doing wasn't just as dangerous. I know what I need to do. I'll write that bastard cousin a letter. Let him know that I know!"

"Yeah sure, could be funny. You can use what's on my desk. Just try to reread it sober before sending it."

––An apostate Amell among the Grey Wardens but not one himself. Potential leverage? Unclear if Hawke yet made aware.

8. your OC’s doctor/healer talking about their injuries

I do have something planned for your suggestion, but because medical information can be so tricky, I'm waiting to put it in one of my fics for the Archive (Gathering Frays, should be, i think i've shared snippets from it before). It'll be a grander execution than i can fit here. Don't worry, you'll still get your angst today though ;) It's not quite doctor's notes, but it's the closest he gets in the alienage

An entry from Valendrian's journal:

24 Kingsway, 9:25 Dragon

Finola found Novhen in an alley by the south docks half-conscious, reeking of alcohol, and covered in his own blood and vomit. He's barely responsive. We've cleaned him up as much as we could but found several bruises and a developing black eye in the process.

I gave him bread and stew, but he couldn't muster himself to eat it until long after it had gone cold. When I offered to walk him to his home for the night, he only grew more distressed.

I believe Del's family has been sharing their meals with the Tabris household this past week. Tomorrow, I will go with them and speak to Cyrion, but I'm not hopeful it will be a productive conversation. He hasn't so much as left his bed since Adaia's passing. I understand his need to grieve, but I worry for Novhen. Maker only knows how much he saw to be affected like this.

He's currently sitting by my fire. I expect he'll still be in the same spot come morning. With any luck, he will be more able to speak then.

[chaosgremlinlivinginyourwalls]

I was 9 years old when I got my first period. I was 9 years old and I was taller than everyone else in my class. When I was 9 I hated myself more than anyone. I was 10 when I met them, the one who singlehandedly brought my world down around me. I was 10 the first time I held a knife to my stomach, ready to end it all. Then I thought of my mother sitting in her bedroom. If I had gone through with it, she would have no middle child left(I had a younger brother who died soon after he was born). I was 11 when I found out they had lied about everything, I'm still not sure they ever loved me. I was 11 when I let them back in my life, but I was angry. Angry they had lied. Angry they had taken away almost a year of my life. I was 12 and starting middle school. I let them back in once more. I was still angry but I loved them more. They I was 12 when they left me once again. It was a long game of cat and mouse, except I just wanted the affection they had once given me. I was 13 when my mom died. My carefully created world fell around me once more. I picked up the pieces by Monday and went to school. It had only been three days. I needed normal. Dad didn't understand. A month after mom's death I was put in therapy. I loved my therapist, sure she scared me at first but she was always kind and always listened when I needed to let down the walls I built. Those walls would go right back up the moment I left her office. 6 months after mom's death, there were bleeding red lines on my upper thigh. Then school started and they were back. We're friends again, but I'm still just the extra. A few months later, I want to be left alone for a bit but the keep poking me and I get angry. I grab their arm a bit too hard and end up leaving a bruise. Though I didn't know that because they ignored me for a week. Another few months go by and they end up moving schools. We have no way to contact each other and we just stop talking. They get a phone and say they'll text me when they can. They never do. I block their number and cut them out of my life. I had been thinking about everything that has happened in the 4 years we've known each other. The last instance was in March-May. I seen them yesterday(4th of July) and I panicked. I've cut myself multiple times since last July and I've been on Antidepressants since August. It will be 5 years since I met them on August 23rd. I'm tired of them taking up my time. They have broke me so many times and I'm done letting them walk all over me. I'm not a new person but I'm definitely stronger than the 10 year old they met. The 10 year old girl they met was trusting and hurting. She opened up and got hurt. She was honestly a little foolish. I have no trust left and I'm broken but healing. They have no power over me. Not anymore. You've lost.

[airenyah]

apparently i can't seem to keep my mouth shut so here i go rambling about acting again...

so i was watching some behind the scenes from hidden agenda and there's this one point from when they were filming the biking scene from the practice date in the park and joong makes fun of dunk for not holding onto him properly and then dunk discusses with staff how exactly he's supposed to hold joong/joke (from 2:45 on)

and there's this one thing that dunk explains afterwards (min 3:37) that delights me a lot in particular and it's this:

because YES!! he's right!!!!

it delights me to hear him say this because growing up my mom would often point out acting things to me and especially since the start of the pandemic we've done a lot of analyzing and this thing about the hands that dunk is talking about here is actually something my mom has mentioned to me before on multiple occasions when we were talking about body language in acting

in fact, i remember this one moment in particular from a year ago: we were watching the eclipse together as it aired and towards the end of the series (ep 9?? or 10 maybe????) there was this one point during an akkayan scene where my mom suddenly pointed at khaotung and went "he looks tense". and i was so confused because the boys were lying in bed in that scene, they were lying down and i was like "how the FUCK do you even see that????"

and so over the rest of the episode (and the following ones) my mom started to look out for scenes where that tension she was referring to was easier to see so that she could explain to me how she could tell. she did find a scene and i was like "ohhh ok yeah i think i get it"

and then the final episode dropped and we were watching it together as usual when suddenly my mom hits pause and goes "do you see it?"

and i immediately knew she was referring to the curled up fingers:

in fact, i had watched the ep without subs for thai practice before watching it together with her and even by myself i'd already noticed that (and i knew my mom would say something about it lmao)

and the issue with khao's hands in this scene is exactly what dunk is saying in the hidden agenda behind the scenes clip from above. khao is touching first's waist only with the tips of his fingers and it looks tentative, as if he doesn't quite dare to maximize the physical touch by using his entire hand to hold first

and that isn't to say as an actor you are forbidden from ever curling your fingers like that! however, everything you do in front of the camera (or on stage) needs to be on purpose. so if you're curling up your fingers when holding onto your colleague? well, it should be a conscious decision that you've taken in order to tell the audience a particular thing regarding the story/the character(s)/the relationship between the characters/etc

and here in the eclipse those curled fingers look strange because here we are basically at the end. we're in the final episode, more than halfway through the final part of the episode (part 4/4, min 9:04 out of 14mins to be exact). at this point the characters have been through a lot together, they've gone through character development, after a long, tumultuous story ayan and akk are finally on the same page as akk is finally comfortable with and open about his feelings for aye. so aye looking like he's afraid to touch akk just feels completely off at this point in the story (esp considering that in the story ayan is the one who is open and unapologetic about his feelings and his wants)

anyway, this is just something i was reminded of when i was watching the behind the scenes of hidden agenda and dunk brought up the hand issue. and i just always get really excited when i watch interviews and especially behind the scenes videos and the actors mention/talk about/explain something that i was taught myself

(also, disclaimer just in case: i don't mean to say that khaotung is a bad actor bc we all know that's not the case. it's just, that particular moment is off for the reasons that i've explained above. and it's somehow relieving to know that even pros don't necessarily nail every single second of their screen time kdjffdkjgf)

[from-my-bed-at-midnight]

my one dear friend of 9 years, and my lover for 4 months left me at the end of last year. just before i graduated from college.

just like that he left me behind as if nothing happened. nothing for the past 9 years, even more, ever happened in our life. i lost both a dear friend and a lover. well, ex-lover now.

i absolutely lost for words when he told me he wanted to leave everything behind because he found someone better for him.

the cat definitely had taken my tongue.

the way i would describe our relationship was we decided to try something we've always wanted to have with each other: a romantic relationship. or in fact, we tried to finish something that weren't finished yet. we knew we always had something for each other. unfortunately, for us, we happened to be the right person for each other but we decided to give it a go at the worst time possible.

i was struggling with my education, meaning i was barely graduated from college alive. i know, that's what she said. and he got transported into different island in my home country. we were in a pretty rough situation, we hardly ever met during those 4 months. the only communication option we got was through messenger apps.

i know what people probably would be thinking. LDR is indeed hard but as long as you willing to give it a try, it might work. it can work, but not for us. i didn't know how do what people told me. i just couldn't be there for the sake of the relationship. i was just beyond tired. i was barely there for myself even. i didn't know where to put my heart. eventually i could feel myself fading away, from him.

i tried to say things to make him understand. altho i couldn't, i didn't know what happen to me. i thought of breaking it off with him two months in the relationship but he just in short, didn't like it. so i decide to stay and kept some more faith in myself. bad news was i kept feeling myself fading away since then. until one day, i tried to talk it out with him. now, it was just too late.

"hey, how are u, i hope u're doing well. sorry i've been so on and off lately. i hope u have a good day."

"thanks. can i talk with u for a sec?"

"sure. what is it?"

"i'm sorry, i think i can't do this anymore. i've done things that makes me not worth of ur loyalty anymore."

i just knew something happened with him, his life. something was wrong. something had shifted. and i was absolutely, right. of course, i've seen this before. how could i be so foolish. i've known him for so long.

"oh, what did u do?"

"i think i like someone else." i knew it.

"okay, there's nothing i can do then." of course, i didn't know what to do. honestly, i didn't even want him to stay anymore. there's no use of begging people whose hearts have changed, to stay in your life. i believe so.

and just like that, i lost everything. i lost two people at the same time. i wasn't even sad. i was just angry, and disappointed. the thing is, i knew something like this gonna happen again. i've been there so many times.

i've been in a situation where he would be so close and then the next time i realized, he was gone. one day we would have each other, and the next he was there for someone else. he left me floating for years, and i never went anywhere. when i thought i was somewhere else, everytime he came around, i would always be around him. again. and again. every goddamn time.

i thought i was special. we had something different. his heart was only for me. i always thought if he didn't work out with anybody else, it was because his heart was meant only for me. of course, i was wrong. always been wrong all this time.

he doesn't know where to put himself out there. doesn't know what to do with himsef, with his heart. doesn't know what to do with his life. always craving for something more. doesn't know how to feel enough with himself. with his life. his greed and pride knows no end. his monster doesn't know how to stop its hunger.

because i'm not the only who has witnessed that monster. i've always known about that monster exist within him. yet i keep my mouth shut. i don't know when he's gonna stop. i just hope he's gonna feel enough soon. i hope he's gonna find someone who makes him feel enough. who's gonna stop that monster inside. put that hunger to a halt.

in my deepest honesty, i feel terribly sorry for the girl. i really wish i can put a curse on him. to show the world that a monster exists inside him. to put the warning sign for whoever gonna be within his reach next. no good girl worth knowing such monster.

but knowing there's not much i can do, therefore i pray for if he gonna do the same thing again, please God make her realize soon what hell he's bringing to her life.

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

idk what TW apply but mildly sexual topic and weird stuff with my mom

I haven't been able to get a bra at all since I was like 13? I had gotten a pack or two of training bras when I was 9 or 10 and after that I got two sports bras but it's been multiple years and I wear 2 or 3 of the training bras layered over each other to try and act like a bra because they're all stretched out and have a few holes and stuff. The two sport bras are also stretched out and don't work well and hurt to wear.

Any time my mom offered to bring me bra shopping we'd go to second hand stores and she'd pick out some bras and I'd have to try them on, but she'd come into the changing room and "check" if the bras really fit or not. I'm super uncomfortable with anyone seeing me shirtless (tons of gender dysphoria around my boobs) and I usually end up crying.

My mom gets mad at me for being so "difficult" and "frustrating" and we end up leaving without getting any bras. It's been a while since we've gone failed bra shopping and I'm not really given any money so I can't go out and buy anything on my own.

Is my mom being weird or am I being unreasonable and stuff? My mom has also commented about how I have a feminine figure and has touched my butt a few times too.

Hi anon,

I'm sorry about what you've been going through.

It sounds unusual (at least in my experience) that you weren't able to get a bra until around age 13. Especially if the bras you have are worn and have holes in them, it shouldn't be too much of a problem to get some more.

Because the bras are for you, you deserve to have more in a say of which you get to wear. Your mom should respect your boundaries, especially in a changing room, and it's a little odd for her to come in and check if the bras fit without your consent. I think it's a simple boundary to not go in when your child is changing, and so it comes off to me as a red flag, as well as the fact that you say she has touched your butt multiple times as well.

Please know that you are not being unreasonable. It sounds like your mom does not respect your boundaries or your body, and I think it's important for you to explore this more, but to also take care of yourself and not explore anything you're not ready to.

I hope I could help. Please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[aurevery]

Feathers | Chapter Nine: The Pocket Watch

I swiped my finger to the left on my phone, marking as 'seen' the last email from work, my eyes feel tired by looking and reading at the screen for almost the whole day, I finally turn my phone off and place it on my chest, then closing my eyes shut for a while.

The sun was not longer in the highest point in the sky, rather just about to hide, but no one have shown up yet, Celinne and I have been awaiting their arrival in the living room, me, dressed in a sweater since the weather forecast said that it´ll be quite cool today. And for Celinne, who is sitted on the couch infront of me, is dressed casual, but with her hair down, and with a concentrated look on her face, she keeps her eyes on the laptop on her lap, some time ago she told me that she has been working on her thesis before graduating, to not rush things in the last minute, but the thing is that she has been in that since the Doctor and Aida left, which is now, quite an amount of time.

Now that I’m finally done with my duties and have nothing to do for the rest of the day, I can't help but wonder where our hosts head to by night, The wom- ahem. Aida, she usually leaves the house around the afternoon, I know that because recently I have found her in the kitchen when the sun rises, I have gotten so used to the coffee when I used to work that now I can’t properly function when there isn’t any in my system, and for she, Aida arrives and heads directly to the elevator, but no glance nor word comes out of our mouths, not even a 'good morning'. Perhaps I should change that, but I'm not sure if she will even reply. She seems more like a reserved type of person.

And as for the doctor, even though he is more talkative and cheery than Aida, I can't help but feel like he is hiding something from us. And considering what we've already talked about, like the feathers and all that stuff I'm not even sure if I want to know more anymore. However we must pay attention to these little details in the way he talks since now Celinne and I must get through their secrets to know if we should trust them with the feather, I mean, what would they even wish for? They doesn’t seem to lack in any need like money nor health, maybe perhaps they’re more ambitious and want something in specific.

But to achieve that we need them to put their trust on us first.

The grand clock on the wall hits 9:30 pm. The main door creaks and surprisingly the woman enters along with a storm of wind following behind her, usually, it's always the other way around, first comes the doctor and then Aida, far much later than him. But today something feels off, perhaps the Doctor has some delay and is catching on his way back…?

Hopefully nothing bad happened.

Aida takes off her hat, then sluggished and exhaustively places it on the tall coat rack beside the door, her coat swaying along with the wind, her other hand at the handle of the door, slowly closing it. Her face looks tired, pale even, with eyelids and face down; and just for some reason, her hair seems a little wet. Just where has she been? It hasn't rained since the thunderstorm. Her figure seems awfuly familiar to me, like I have seen this before.

She reminds me of how I physically looked a few years ago, back in the days when dad was still... when he was still with us, I clearly crystal remember that when I started working in the company I was trying so hard to become like him, a hard-working man that always seemed proud and confident with the amount of piles of work he had, but he somehow always managed to finish it perfectly and due in time, It seemed like a second nature to him from others perspective. I guess it does really pays off working around the field for quite the years. And I followed his steps, followed the tips he gave me and as the years had gone long passed, thankfully I got used to working the whole day, no longer being tired because of my aggravating sleep schedule, since the motivation of his wish becoming true is the thing that keeps me going.

For that same reason is why the company is so important to me, If "Atelier" ever goes down, it will be like my dad's downfall, along with mine, and my mother, and coworkers. A long time ago, my father’s dream was to turn the company into a globally recognized brand, so that wherever he went he would see a car he designed, and be proud because of it, the thing is that he never wanted the attention on himself, but the recognition of his designs by his parents. From what I have heard from them is that they were harsh on him since he was a little artist kid, that luckily got the knowledge to how create vehicles. But my grandparents weren’t happy with his decision to follow his dream, so their relationship wasn’t the best of them all. Quite far from different to how he acted with me, always supporting me, cheering me up and congratulating me for every little thing I achieved since I remember. And for this reason, I decided to continue his legacy, to take his role, and to prove my grandparents wrong… but to how things have been lately, the falldown of Atelier is now a possibility, and I must do anything and everything to avoid this situation completely.

Blinking out of my daydream, I stand up alongside Celinne at the same time, and the cushion makes a sound that grabs Aida’s attention, she quickly turns at us alarmed, her right hand instinctively reaching behind her coat around her hip for something our eyes couldn´t reach, her analyzing eyes opened up wide.

When she noticed it was just us her eyes slowly closed as she let a long sigh while looking down. "Ah, cierto" she muttered... in Spanish? Is she not from here? before my thought wanders too long she speaks. "My apologies, time slipped by me" Then she takes a look at our clothes "I assume you are ready" Celinne replies with a nod as Aida hums in agreement "follow me then" is all she says before grabbing her hat again and... closing the main door? I thought we were going out?

With no word she walks to the kitchen, all the place iluminated by the window. Celinne's look questions me as she hesitantly closes her laptop, I mindlessly reply with a shrug while placing my phone on my pants pocket, both of us utterly confused.

We followed her into the dining room before she stopped at the kitchen counter and began to look for something in the inner pockets of her coat, While she searches Celinne began to tie her hair back in a bun, and once Aida eyes perked up up she took her right hand out of her pocket and quietly handed us an old golden pocket watch.

Celinne hesitantly took it and both of us began to examine it from up close. The lid seemed quite rusty and had exquisite carvings that draw what it seemed like some kind of bird, a long golden chain hanging from one of its ends. Aida slowly takes a step towards us and presses the crown on the bottom side of the pocket, the lid quickly opened from the inside by the time she retreated. It showed us a white clock that read 3:20, it didn't tick like my own black watch resting on my left wrist, both quite far from the actual hour.

It seemed perfectly clean from the inside like it has never opened before, and instead of the classical numbers we see every day there were roman numerals, it looked like from centuries ago, but it was well preserved.

"May I?" the woman said, We took our eyes from the pocket watch and handed it back to her once again.

She started to clear her throat as she speaked these words "Please do not alarm yourselves for what you are about to see." She says and begins to take off her right glove with her mouth, doubt places on my face, or is it concern?, what does she means by alarm? Once her hand is naked we noticed that her hand had also some bandages wrapped around her palm and some fingers, we hold not much thought to that, because when her thumb softly touches the crown of the pocket watch once again, I feel my eyes opening up wide when the carvings if the bird began to glow purple, forcing the lid to pop up, and the smaller of the hands of the clock quickly heading in regression to the "XII" ,once it reached the number it began to tick normally.

Suddenly I feel a light on the right side of my face growing beside us, When we both slowly turned to look at it there was a small purple circle growing bigger by the second, as it spiraled, it emitted brighter and brighter light along length, and when it was a little larger than me it stopped growing but it kept spiraling.

…

We both stayed stone in astonishment, words left me as I keep turning my sight from the pocket watch to this purple thing spiraling, “What in the f-“ Celinne rubbed her eyes with her hands before opening them once again "Am I dreaming?" She whispered to herself. "Miles are you seeing this?" Celinne rapidly shaked my shoulder but I couldn’t really give her an answer, catching our attention again by clearing her throat, Aida placed herself beside that thing. "This is your new reality now, So I am asking you to keep this a secret between us." She said dead serious a frown evident on her face.

"What the hell" finally escaped me, then Celinne followed with "Miles are you seeing what I AM seeing?" Viontly shaking my shoulder once again. I nod at her but keeping my eyes glued to the light. Aida interfered “The pocket watch opens a portal for us to go into a specific place from our memories" Aida positioned herself again but now in front of the portal and turning her head at us "Now with that information being said, follow me."

And with that she passed casually through the portal, disappearing into that purple spiral, me along Celine kept frozen in place, not moving an inch, "Are we supposed to just to walk into that just like that?" Celinne said to herself more than to me. After a few seconds of none of us moving Aida's gloved hand came out of the portal suggesting we take it. Celine gulped, then she looked at me slowly releasing my shoulder, taking a deep breath she began to lightly hit herself in the cheeks, hesitantly walking to the portal with her hand reaching up to Aida's, "Just close your eyes and everything will be fine" she muttered getting closer to the portal, and when she finally grabbed Aida's hand, Celinne was pulled into the portal in a quick motion as a squeak escaped her.

I started to panic at the realization and almost ran straight to the portal as if I could have reached her arm, and then I slowly took a few steps back without taking my eyes off of it. "Celinne?" I ask in the now empty kitchen, not sure if she can even hear me, then Aida's hand comes once again, I take a look at it for a few seconds, doubting if I should follow her, then unconsciously my right hand slowly gets closer to hers, but I quickly take it back in a quick motion, and as if sensing this, her fingers stretched out to me, as if telling me to trust her or just to grab her bloody hand. I slowly took a deep breath and brought my hand close once again, when my palm touches her own I feel her fingers wrapping around my wrist in a firm grip, then she quickly pulls me in, barely bearing time to close my eyes shut.

It felt like being pulled into the water, but I don't feel any wetness in my body nor clothes, and I can no longer feel the hand that was wrapped around my wrist, when I open my eyes, the strong wind blows directly on my face, bashing all my hair and clothing back, the scenery that greets me is truly one of a kind.

The last yellow, orange, and red sun rays in the horizon illuminate the whole city from where I am standing, clouds of different shades and shapes envelope us in a fantastic panoramic, The sun meeting the sea gives the water a shining golden color, some birds flow from behind us towards the sun, giving the final touch to this experience, the weather alongside the wind it's quite chilly up here but I feel no coldness, too astounded by the sky in front of me. A long sigh lowly escaping me.

I turn to look at my sides, on the right is Celine, her eyes glued to the sun setting in the distance as the ocean turns into a warm pink, admiring the horizon too, I hear steps behind me and when I turn the woman is walking to the railings on my left, she is getting way too close to the end of the floor "Watch your step" That escapes me in a reflex. She turns her eyes at me and then at my feet.

"I´m not the one who should watch my step" I look down and indeed, I am way too close to the railings, I take some careful steps back and Celinne continues "Where are we?" She begins to look around her for any clue. "On the top of the Empire State Building." Aida calmly says.

“Wait WHAT?!” Celinne finally reacts, she grabs her head as she starts a ramble “How is it even POSSIBLE?! One second ago we were in the kitchen!” Then my brain poorly processes again WHAT IN THE BLOODY HELL!? She is right! How did we ended up in THE TOP of the Empire State Building?! I turn to look behind me to see that the purple thing is no longer there, replaced by the rest of the city covered in an sky blue hue where the sun rays can’t reach.

I grabbed at my hair that the wind tickled in my face with my right hand, and pushed it backwards, even if the wind ruffled it again. “How..?”

Millions of questions flood into my mind deep in thought ‘How did that purple thing bringed us here?’ ‘Can it take us anywhere we want?’ ‘Do portals REALLY exist?!’ Aren’t they a thing from magical books and fantastical novels? As I’m staring at the horizon I can’t help but feeling eyes staring at me. From my left.

I blink twice before slowly turning my head in direction of the woman, and indeed, she is staring directly at me, at my face, but I can’t describe her expression, surely she doesn’t look mad, the usual aloof look in the face replaced by something else, something that I can’t put my finger on it, instead I decide to focus on other things about her, like some strands of her hair flowing on her face, her hat is resting firm on her left hand preventing the wind from blowing it away, when I realize that she is still looking at me I break the silence “Is ev-“ “I don’t understand” I turn me head at Celinne who is wearing a troubled expression.

“Why on earth is the police looking for you? You and the doctor have shown us nothing but kindess! that you are normal citizen people! You have treated us right, and put your trust on us with something spectacular such as this!” Celinne moves her arms as if showing us the horizon. “This information could be a revolution and an eye-opening truth that could change the whole world!” Then she remained quiet for a couple of seconds reflecting on what she is just about to say.

“You are not a criminals… are you?”

And then the sky darkened, the sun rays dying behind the horizon as it’s warmth that was in our faces abandon us, as along with her eyes, her expression turning one of a cold as ice. She turned her head at the now dark horizon, the hand that is holding her hat was now clenching the fabric of it, the wind became stronger as it flew her coat around her legs.

“The doctor is not a criminal” she piercily says without turning to look at us in the eye. “He just chose the wrong ally” And with that no more words came from her.

We remain quiet as New York City welcomes the night, in some buildings the lights are becoming more and more noticeable, the sound of car horns and police sirens can still be heard even with all of this difference of height, but can only hear very faintly. However we do not take our time to appreciate this, as we stay deep in thought, replaying her words on our heads.

After a while when the cold is starting to creep up on our skin Aida talks once again after a while. “We should head back”

We nod in silence as she takes out the pocket watch again and repeats the process, once the portal is big enough that we can pass, Celinne crosses it first, no longer afraid of it, then I close my eyes to walk into the portal, and when I feel the sensation of water on my body, I open my eyes to see myself on the kitchen again, but with the lights on.

The doctor is singing a tune while he washes some dishes and flashes us an expectant smile.

“How did it went?” He cheerfully asked, I turn to the portal again waiting for Aida to return, but suddenly the spiral becomes smaller and the color fades before dissappearing completely.

[morganupstead]

PD Thoughts: spoilers below

*After writing this I should make it clear I am a Burzek fan through and through and there should be no doubt about that, these are just my initial thoughts after the episode*

I wish the writer's room did interviews because I'm dead serious I would like to know what goes on in there. I would like to ask them a few very valid questions.

How long are you planning on having Burzek's characters build up enough trauma to the point where there is no foundation to their relationship left?? This relationship in some capacity has been going on since season 2, so why make them take one step forward then 3 back only for them to end basically in the same place over and over. Yes, there is character development in some ways but in others, it just lacks overall.

Believe me, I know this is a "drama" and it needs it to be interesting but I'm stuck here not understanding what the end game is supposed to be. We've had them in a relationship, engaged, coworkers, friends, a friends with benefits situation, co-parenting a baby, and a big round thing that can protect Makayla.

And nothing is ever right for them. I don't know what else is left for the writers to write for them they haven't already done?? Is this where they say, "they've tried for 9 years and they just can't make it work??" I would like to hope this isn't the case because the show would get hell for it from the fans. And the same part of me says "they've gone through too much as people for this to be their entire lives, just the indefinite ups, and downs". But also I know that sometimes life can be just that; never the happy ending you dream of, just whatever life throws your way. It's never simple.

Kim fostering Makayla has been one of the highest highs her character has gotten on the entire show. Removed from Burzek entirely she chose to do that on her own. And when Makayla is gone we see what emotional turmoil she goes through in the camera work and Marina's performance.

We know that Adam's judgment gets clouded by him being impulsive and emotional. We have seen that time and time again. But somehow even though we had small instances where we saw him do better with this in other episodes in the end all of that didn't matter because his reaction at the moment is always the same. It's obvious they have different ways of coping and different ideas on the best course of action to get her back safely was.

I think I'm disappointed that the writers have chosen to use these two people's trauma against them as people and not let them become free of it. This isn't the first time they've done it either, every character has a ton of unresolved trauma that festers till it has nowhere else to go. This is where I say like a broken record that everyone on this show needs to go to therapy because these storylines start to feel more repetitive than anything else.

Paddy and Marina have said multiple times that these two people love each other deeply but they don't know if it is ever going to work out for them. They have a really complicated relationship that never follows a blueprint of any kind, so as a fan it makes it difficult to know where they stand at any given time. They go from being each other's rock to being at odds so quickly.

The writers really have me thinking that this is all Adam and Kim might ever get, and it's a shame because I know the potential that is there. I want to be wrong, god I hope I'm really wrong.

Where should we expect to go from here, because Makayla is now officially adopted. And she should come first, so it leaves them in this weird grey area kind of like they've been in a lot. My ultimate hope is that down the line they get the kind of life all 3 of them deserve. But I literally have no idea what that looks like right now. These writers always seem to make a sharp turn with this ship, so I have no idea what happens next.

[yourmidnightlover]

the way i loved you

Summary: you regret leaving spencer after everything you've been through.

TW: angst?, fluff, kissing, breakup, mild argument. *let me know if i missed anything*

WC: 2,843

A/N: taylor's version of of that's the way i loved you has stolen my heart and i felt like making a short lil fic about this song. it’s also a second fic in celebration of hitting 700 followers! happy reading!

--------------------------------------------

he was great.

he really was.

he was kind, and smart, and endearing. he was the perfect gentleman. he opened the door for you when you got into and out of his car. he tells you what you need to hear. he's incredible.

tonight when he held your hand as you stepped into his car, he made sure to whisper to you how beautiful you looked in your dress. spencer's favorite dress.

which is why you felt guilty about thinking of spencer.

you were going on a date with him and you couldn't stop thinking about your ex. spencer inhabited your mind when you did nearly everything. it was as if he had never left. the memories of him were always fresh in your mind... even the bad ones.

the arguments. the screaming.

but then there was the passion. the heat that never cooled off between you two. the spark that never dimmed. the light that seemed solar powered, never going out. you wondered if it was still there.

"what were you thinking about getting?" he asked, entirely mesmerized by your presence across the table.

"not sure," you smiled. "maybe just a salad, i'm not very hungry," you shrugged with a smile.

"whatever you'd like," he reached across the table to hold you hand, you obliged.

but there weren't any butterflies from his touch. no electricity that lit up your insides. nothing that made you feel crazy about him as you had with spencer.

it had been 9 months since you ended things with spencer. you were dating for over a year. the two of you had never slowed down since you began. working with him made it that much more intoxicating. a forbidden workplace romance felt dangerous. at first that's why you thought you couldn't get him out of your mind. and then you realized it wasn't that. it was that it was spencer.

this was your fifth date with him. you'd been dating for three months. it had been getting more 'serious' as time went on. but your feelings for him never compared to the rollercoaster of emotions you felt for spencer.

"what're you thinking about, darling?" he asked, stroking his thumb on your hand slowly.

"nothing," you faked yet another smile.

he didn't notice.

he never did.

spencer would've.

you had ended things after getting an offer in the fugitive task force. the pay was better (not that that's why you left), and they needed you more than the team did - even though they told you otherwise. you knew you were valuable, but you also knew that they'd be fine without you - even though they told you otherwise. they told you you'd always have place with the team. so, you left. and along with leaving, spencer had claimed you took his heart with you. but you had left yours with him in return.

you couldn't feel anything for the charming man in front of you whenever spencer still had your heart.

"look, i know it's a bit early to say this," he began speaking, " i mean, we've only been together for three months. but..." you retraced your hand so he fiddled with his own. "i never knew how amazing i could feel with someone in my life romantically. i think... i think i'm in love with you."

*22 months ago*

you had been reckless. you had gone into the house without any backup yet you came out unscathed. spencer was still burning hot despite the fact that you were unharmed. he appeared at your house late the night you had returned, around 2 am.

"y/n!" he pounded on your door. "i know you're in there! open up!" he demanded. you trudged into your living room and opened the door quickly.

"what, spencer?" you spat out. "why are you here? because i know it's not to check up on me," rolling your eyes, you stepped outside with him and shut the door behind you.

"why wouldn't it be? you could've gotten killed, y/n!" he yelled, not at you but at the situation. "maybe i'm worried about you! maybe i care about your well-being! maybe i just don't want you to die!" he shouted.

he had never truly been close to you. ever since you joined 7 months ago he had maybe one conversation with you during each case, only about the case. he wasn't necessarily rude, but mostly deflective. he wouldn't carry the conversation. he replied with simple answers that prevented further conversation. he never wanted to talk with you or hang out with you unless others were there. he just... didn't like you.

but you had been so excited to meet him. penelope, one of the reasons you got the spot on the team in the first place because you'd met her in her hacker days, had talked him up quite a lot. she had also said you were a match made in heaven. you thught she was mistaken until you saw him standing in the bullpen, talking to none other than pg. imagine your disappointment when he barely spoke to you.

and since you had gotten hurt he hadn't just been dismissive. he had been rude. he had rolled his eyes at you when you were sitting across from him in the plane. he had scoffed when morgan said how tough you were for taking the unsub down alone.

and now he was outside your door as rain began pouring down.

"if you do care about me then you have a funny way of showing it," now it was your turn to scoff.

"you were reckless. how could be so foolish?" he asked in a softer tone, walking closer to you to connect his skin to yours, needing to reassure himself that you were alright.

"i wasn't foolish," you snatched your arm away from his grasp, he backed away slowly. "i had to save that little girl's life, reid. you know that i had no other choice."

"you could've gotten killed," he stated once more, holding his hands together in front of him.

"that little girl could've been killed, too," you shook your head, sighing as you pressed your fingers into your temples. "i... reid, i couldn't let that happen."

"well i couldn't... i don't know what i'd do if you had actually been hurt or-or died," he bit his lip, trying to keep himself from saying much more.

"you barely talk to me at all. this is the longest conversation we've had in all the months i've known you," you chuckled humorlessly. "you're ridiculous."

"i'm sorry," he apologized softly, almost whispering. "it's... it's complicated."

"what's complicated?" you stepped forward to get closer to him. "what's so complicated that you couldn't stand to have a real conversation with me?"

"you wouldn't understand," he shook his head, stepping back once more into the rain, turning around as if he were going to leave.

"don't-" you grabbed his bare arm. smoke. "don't walk away. not again," you shook your head. "please tell me why you couldn't stand me?"

"it's not that i couldn't stand you," he said with a sigh, turning around to meet your eyes. "it's that... well i couldn't stand how you made me feel," he admitted, grabbing your hands instead of his own. "i couldn't stand how the first time i saw you i thought you were the most beautiful girl in the world and i couldn't stand how perfect your voice is - even when you're about to cry. i couldn't stand how you're the first woman i've loved since i watched my girlfriend die in front of me."

fire.

you felt fire all over.

maybe it was because the heat you felt as your gears turned, trying to figure out how he could love you. the friction from the thoughts running through your head caused the smoke that lit the flame that burned between the two of you. a match made from heaven, the universe, whatever you believed in, in that moment.

"spencer..." the first time you'd ever called him that, his eyes bore into yours with the same fire you felt. "how could you... how could you love me when you don't even know me?"

"i know you, y/n," he smiled, tears streaming down his face being masked by the rain pouring on the two of you. "i-i know that when you get frustrated or angry you just stay quiet. i know that when you're focused you rub your fingers together. i know that when you're incredibly happy you tear up because you wonder how you deserved to be so joyful. i know that when you're feeling insecure you like to read pride and prejudice and imagine yourself living in another world... and i know that i love you."

"kiss me," you asked, trailing your hands up his arms to the back of his neck. "please... kiss me?" you asked again before he filled your request.

one of his hands grasped the hair at the back of your head, pulling you against him with a groan. you felt the passion penny had said you would've had from the beginning through his kiss. the way his tongue traveled into your mouth and wandered as if he wanted to use his eidetic memory to memorize what you tasted and felt like.

and you knew that the fire you both felt would never burn out because even in the rain, it burned brighter than ever before.

"spencer," you broke the kiss. "i love you."

*now*

"so," he had smiled. "you don't have to say it back, i completely understand if you need more time."

you felt terrible. you missed spencer. you wanted spencer. you needed spencer. not more time. you had already given him time. you gave yourself time. but no amount of time could ever diminish what you felt for spencer.

"i'm sorry," you whispered, preparing to break things off softly. "you're such an amazing guy, a total gentleman. but... but i still-"

"love the other guy," he chuckled, looking down a bit upset. "that's alright. you can't force feelings."

"i really tried," you smiled, reaching for his hand once again. "with him it was just so... passionate, and crazy, and... i'm so sorry. i wasn't trying to lead you on i just figured that over time those feelings for hi would just disappear but... they never did."

"i know, thank you for trying to feel things out with me," he smiled, knowing you could see how forced it was. "if you wouldn't mind, could we still be friends?"

"oh, of course," you squeezed his hand. "you're one of the kindest men i've ever met," you chuckled. "thank you for being so understanding, luke."

"oh, it's no problem," he shrugged off the compliment.

you finished dinner with him and he dropped you off at your apartment. you ran to your room and decided to call someone.

"hello?" the voice rang over the phone into your ear.

"hey," you sighed happily. "can i ask you for a favor?"

next thing you knew you were packing up your apartment that never felt like home. you got onto a plane and moved back home, right back into the same place. the same night you got there, you knew you had to make a stop at a certain someone's house.

you ran up the stairs of the apartment complex, up to the apartment you found to be your second home. you banged on the familiar door rapidly, anticipating his answer. when he did answer, you were already teary-eyed.

"hi," you sniffled.

"y/n?" spencer questioned. "what are you...? you moved away why are you...?"

"i missed you," you wiped the tears that were flowing down your face, pointlessly so as they continued flowing.

"you left me, y/n," he felt the water in his eyes welling up to mirror your own, stepping aside to let you inside and shutting the door behind you. "you left. not me."

"i know, spencer. i know," you sighed. "but we were- we were toxic. and we argued all the time and we screamed at each other a lot."

"so why are you here?" he spat out.

"because i miss it. i miss the screaming and fighting. i miss kissing you in the rain. i miss cursing your name at 2 am because you would beat me at chess," you cried a laugh. "i miss the way you made me feel. i miss your touch and the way-" you tried to choke back a sob. "i miss the way you held me when i'm sad and the way- the way you loved me. because that's the way i loved you."

"y/n it's been 9 months," he huffed. "why would you... i don't know how to trust you again."

"please, spencer. i'm so sorry. i'll make it up to you," you reached for his arm, rubbing your hands up and down them to ground yourself. "i'll do anything, please. i-i'll buy you a new bookshelf. i'll do your files for eight months. i'll-i'll... tell me what to do, please. i want to make it up to you if you'd let me."

"y/n..." he trailed off. "i don't know. why're you even here? you accepted a job with the fugitive task force."

"i came back to the bau," you shrugged.

"was that for me?" he asked as if you'd never do such a thing.

"i mean... partially, yea," you chuckled humorlessly, an awkward silence enveloping the room.

"you shouldn't have," he looked down at his hands.

"oh," you analyzed his body language, dropping your hands from his skin. he missed the touch already.

his arms and hands were limp, detached. his eyes held emotion, hurt, tears. his shoulders were slouched and made to look slim, small.

"i'm sorry," you bit your lip. "i-i'll just..." you motioned towards the door as you maneuvered around his body to open it yourself.

you got it halfway open before he shoved your back against it, pressing your lips against his fervently. his hands flew to your waist and pulled you closer to him, his chest still pushing against yours. it was as if he had never let that flame die down either. maybe you were on his mind 24/7 as he was yours. maybe he couldn't stop loving you either, even though he hasn't said it yet. the taste of tears on both of your tongues reminded you of the situation at hand.

"i do, too," he whispered against your lips. "love you," he read your mind. "as if i'd ever be able to stop," he sarcastically admitted. "but... how would this work? you said it yourself, we fought and argued all the time."

"we could work on communication. i've worked on bettering myself while i was away. i even did yoga," you brought your hands up to his face, pressing another peck on his lips.

"i missed you too," another kiss. "and i've tried to improve myself. i guess i just wondered why you had left so abruptly. why i never really got much of an explanation."

"and you deserved one, spencer," you ran your thumbs along his cheekbones. "you deserve the best and that's why i left. because i knew i would never really be best for you. i knew that if i had come to you and told you how i had been feeling that you'd talk me down and then i'd stay. and i know it's selfish of me to be with you right now but i couldn't stay away from you any longer. i tried to forget about you but i couldn't."

"i'm glad you couldn't forget me," he smiled against your lips as you pushed him forward onto his couch, you straddled his hips as he sat down.

"i could never," you kissed his forehead. "no matter who i met," his nose. "i couldn't get you out of my head," his cheek. "you've driven me insane," his other cheek. "because that's the way i loved you," his lips.

"i love you," he mumbled against your lips, his hands finding your waist and gripping it tightly as if he never wanted to let go. "so much."

in the words of the beloved mr. darcy, he has bewitched you body and soul and you love, love, love him. he made you completely and perfectly and incandescently happy. you were consumed by fire because of how much you loved him. you loved him in a way that possessed your soul completely, utterly blissed at the thought of him. in a way that lit your very essence to flames and transformed it - not into a phoenix rising from the ashes - but transformed it into pure, unadulterated adoration and desire.

and that's the way he loved you.

taglist:

@averyhotchner

@greenprisca

@muffin-cup

@s1utformgg

if you’d like to be added to the taglist, please don’t hesitate to message me or leave a comment!

[lacharcutiere]

still [sawamura daichi]

1,6k words

previous | masterlist | next ➪

part eight of i’m gone i’m gone i’m gone miniseries. you can only put these things off for so long.

JST: japanese standard time (GMT +9). EST: eastern standard time (GMT -5). EDT: eastern daylight time (GMT -4).

tings // fluff, a little bit of angst, kinda suggestive at the end ?? // i swear this søng is abøut eating øut my best friend's pussy - cøzybøy // dm, ask or comment to be added to taglist ! minors dni.

☾𓆙𓂻

— JAPAN, SUMMER 2024.

the summer passes like this: you and daichi laughing too loudly in busy restaurants and train cars; having arms around each other in the back of taxis on the way home from clubs; making instant udon at three a.m.; walking up and down the neighborhood a hundred times; laying silently side by side and not needing to say anything. it's a routine, it's familiar—it's home.

a couple weeks before you're set to head back to new york, daichi asks you a question as you lay next to him on a blanket in your driveway, staring up at the stars.

"have you decided what your plans are after college?"

"i'm gonna come back here."

"i thought you wanted to go to grad school? you can do way better in the states, especially with a degree from columbia."

you roll onto your side so you can look at him better. "i know. but i've been away too long already. i miss you."

he gives you a little smile. "but i'm right here."

"right here is pretty fucking far from america."

"hm."

"hm."

that's the end of the conversation.

— 2 AUGUST 2024. 23:09 JST.

everything happens the exact same way it has for the past three years: he takes you to the airport. you try hard not to cry; you say your goodbyes. check-in, security, buy some candy to eat at the gate. board the plane. sixteen hours later, you're in america.

one thing was different, though.

when he said goodbye, his lips touched yours.

you don't stop thinking about it for weeks.

☾𓆙𓂻

— AUGUST TO NOVEMBER 2024.

slightly relieving is the fact that amid thesis writing and too many classes and working an internship under one of your professors (that one's nice, it even earns you enough to get a small apartment a few blocks from campus), there proves to be little time to be spent missing daichi.

you finesse your schedule to fit weekly facetimes on friday evenings (new york time) and shoot random texts back and forth about your day between classes and during meals, and without much space for anything else, it's enough. good things are worth waiting for, anyway.

— DECEMBER 2024.

but then winter sem break rolls around and there's no school so it's back to having too much lonely alone time with your thoughts. you write daichi a christmas card and drop it off at the post office. it's early this year, but oh, well.

☾𓆙𓂻

a week before christmas you receive a call from an unknown number. the phone speaker crackles when you accept the call.

“hello?”

“hey.” the voice on the other end is bright, smiley, accented. it’s tōru.

“tōru? what’s up?”

“i’m outside,” he says, “come down and meet me?”

you’re a little confused, but you decide to humor him. “uh, okay, give me a minute… do i need anything?”

“bring a coat, it’s cold out. i’ll be waiting down here.” the call ends.

a few minutes later you push through the doors of the building to be met with a brisk wind and tōru standing by a payphone, grinning.

“do you have your subway pass?”

you feel inside your pocket for it and nod.

“good,” he says. “come on, we’re in a hurry.”

“where are we going?”

“downtown.”

“ohhkay?”

he laughs. “‘s not anything you won’t like, promise.”

you follow him into the nearest subway entrance, lost in thought as you push through the barrier and step onto the train. it's only when he nudges you and says, "this is our stop," that you realize you've been looking at the ground the whole time.

tōru notices how absent you seem to be and asks, "are you okay?"

"i would be if i knew what was going on," you respond.

"yeah," he says, leading you up the stairs and into the terminal, "yeah, i think you will be."

you're in grand central. tōru asks if he can borrow your phone for a second. when he hands it back to you, he doesn't say anything, just takes you by the arm smiling widely and leads you into the fray of commuters that fill the station.

"tōru!" you groan, "can't you just tell me where we're going?"

"magnolia," he replies simply.

"we came all the way here just for coffee?"

"mhm."

"tōru!" he stops walking and turns back to you, trying and failing miserably to stop grinning for a second. "what the fuck?"

"come on," he says, "you'll like it."

"we've been here before! what's so special about—"

"you'll see."

☾𓆙𓂻

coffee in grand central is surprisingly good. it's also surprisingly expensive. ah, well, it's new york. new york has much more to offer than just overpriced cafés.

such as... this. such as a laughing man that leads a remarkably pissed-off looking girl by the arm, towards this stupidly good, stupidly overpriced café.

the pair are weaving through a stream of people, almost there, and then they're there, and the girl is looking much less agitated now. she looks somewhere between crying and wanting to run in the opposite direction. thank god, she chooses the former.

he loves you. so much.

☾𓆙𓂻

"daichi?" you mean it to be a scream but your voice cracks a little and it comes out airy.

he has the exact same look on his face that tōru's had this whole time. "hi."

"oh my god, what the fuck?"

"you said it was lonely, tōru told me maybe it would be nice for you to have a date for new year's, i had some extra money saved up. so i came."

"you— what?" you look back at tōru. "you planned this? just? last minute?"

"nah," daichi laughs, "no, i meant to come visit you for christmas a while ago. i already had tickets and everything, i was gonna tell you but then i got your card and figured it might be more fun if it were a surprise."

"oh my god." that's all you can think to say.

— CHRISTMAS 2024.

you can't even explain how good it feels to wake up and walk into the living room to find daichi asleep on your couch on christmas morning, how good it feels for it to not just be you. the whole time he's been here, though, you've forced yourself not to think about the fact that he's going back home in a week and a half, forced yourself not to do anything just yet. soon, though. just a few more months.

☾𓆙𓂻

when he wakes up, you're making coffee for the two of you.

"merry christmas," he says, wrapping one arm around your shoulders. he places a card on the counter in front of you. "open it."

its message is simple.

you do as it says.

"i, uh, haven't gotten you anything yet, but—"

"daichi," you laugh, "it's okay. and um, i may have also not been able to get you anything. also because i didn't know you'd be here."

"wait, wait, i'm not finished."

"okay?"

"what do you want to do after you're done this year of school?"

"i already told you," you say, "i'll move back home."

"no, what do you want to do? you want to go to grad school, right? continue studying here?"

"no, i just want to stop waiting." you sigh, a little frustrated. "i don't wanna have to keep putting this off, it's been—"

he cuts you off. "i'll be here."

"huh?"

"i'll be here. or wherever."

"i don't get it?"

you've always loved the way daichi's nose scrunches up when he smiles. "you're the one planning on studying more, not me. not immediately, anyway. i'll go with you."

"daichi."

"what?"

"you're fucking joking."

he laughs; you look so confused right now. "i'm not. promise."

"i don't even—"

"hey."

"hm?"

"think you can handle long-distance for five months?"

"uh—" you inhale sharply. "yeah."

"good," he says, "then we don't have to keep putting this off."

it's been five months since you last let your lips touch his. it still feels just like the first time it happened.

— 31 DECEMBER, 2023. 19:36 EST.

he tries not to let you pay for dinner, but in the end, you slip the waiter your card while daichi's in the bathroom. it's his birthday; it's your treat.

and after dinner, there's that new year's eve party that tōru's been going on about. it feels good, so good, not to be there alone. it feels good to watch the broadcast from downtown and count the seconds to midnight as daichi's arms are wrapped around you from behind. the clock reaches zero; daichi kisses you hard. you're both drunk on champagne.

you watch him smile across the room at tōru, who's got his girl on his arm. the two of them look happy, too. everything is warm.

— DEPARTURE: 3 JANUARY 2025. 08:15 EST.

daichi's asleep next to you when the alarm on his phone goes off. you'll miss not waking up next to him for the next five months, but at least that's all it will be.

he makes faces at you in the mirror as you both brush your teeth; keeps trying to tug your sweater off when you get dressed. you spend these thirty minutes laughing with him until it hurts. the two of you take the subway back to grand central; make out in a corner of the terminal while he waits for his train to jfk international to arrive.

"see you in may."

— 21 JANUARY 2025.

taglist: @sakruisin-thru @softetsurou @oligbia

[ae0nx]

FRUITS BASKET S3 EPISODE 8 RECAP AKA THE KYORU CHRONICLES PART 2 (plus a quick recap of eps 3-7)

aaaaaaAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!! I gotta get it out of me otherwise I won't be able to concentrate on work and I will be scrolling through the tag till the day I die. Everything from episode 3 of Season 3 literally hit me like an avalanche - literally cos I marathoned 3-7 over the weekend which I wouldn't advise unless you want an accelerated heartbeat - and I'm starting to realise... maybe I just wasn't ready for season 3. Despite asking for it, haha. Not gonna put as many screencaps for this one cos tumblr editing bay be trippin and I just don't have time nor emotional energy to be fighting with the picture uploads, sorry lol

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Episodes 3 - 7

I spoke before about how (despite my feelings about the characters) the English dub VAs for Akito and Shigure pair up really well audibly. And I think I feel the same way about both Yuki and Machi's English VAs! They both have the same soft spoken yet scratchy element to their voices almost like they are holding slightly back. Although, I'd argue that Yuki has been losing the element of slightly holding back as the anime has gone on which I wonder if the same would be included for Machi's performance?

I really like the presentation of Machi's trauma through her family's expectations to be perfect and how physical it is? How Yuki kind of encourages her to let it out in a healthy way? (Btw the whole chalk breaking scene in the meeting was SO FUCKING SMOOTH. YUKI IS A NERD BUT HE IS SO EFFORTLESSLY COOL A LOT OF THE TIME)

The age gap between Isuzu and Haru for sure isn't the worst age gap in this anime/manga but it's still a bit... hmm...

Episode 4:

In all seriousness, I know Akito deserves some sympathy but it doesn't change the fact that I still see her as a villain. Hurt people hurt people but it doesn't mean they should get away with it, I was honestly pleased Haru got that big confrontation with Akito to tell her WHAT'S WHAT but it was also somewhat... merciful?

Hiro's growth has been so beautiful to see, him realising there are bigger things than him from the event with Rin to his relationship with Kisa to then the birth of his little sister.

Kureno choosing to get his hands a little dirtier and paying the ultimate price for it (as far as we know so far in the anime lol) was great, he is the moon side of Tohru's sunshine.

Shigure... I still don't really get him and Akito's relationship. It's clear he's waiting for Akito to grow the fuck up but at the same time he's not creating an environment for her to grow and develop. He's decided to go with the 'tough love' route which I'm still deciding whether I like it or not tbh. Sometimes it feels necessary, at other times it feels shitty. I respect that he knows he's a scumbag and I don't deny that there are people out there who take revelry in the fact that they are awful but at the same time, him remaining unchanging despite everything feels... unrealistic. But considering throughout this story he doesn't seem affected by trauma, it's understandable, I guess?

Also... that scene where Shigure ponders about whether he should've been with Tohru is THE creepiest creeper shit he's EVER done in this series. No. 🙅🏾‍♀️

Momiji is best bunny boi regardless of how tall and 'manly' he becomes. 🐰His scene with Akito was so authentically him and he really did that shit. We love him. <3

I love the way that the curse breaking should (on surface) be a happy event considering all the trauma the zodiac went through because of it but it's presented mostly as loss as well as happiness. It's the realness of getting out of a bad relationship

Shigure basically laying it out to Tohru how Kyo means nothing in a very taunting way was an excellently painful scene and I choose violence. It was heartbreaking seeing how worthless they all saw Kyo compared to how Tohru saw him but... by this point I was just living in the pain so 🤷🏾‍♀️

The story visually showing how Isuzu is more willing to be soft after her whole ordeal through her fashion choices (e.g. the pastels, the cardigans) was really nice. And Haru being happy about Isuzu making friends with Tohru was cute!

It was nice we saw that Kazuma was still wary about whether Tohru loved Kyo for the right reasons, you'd assume after everything Kazuma would love Tohru as a match for Kyo but he's so emotionally intelligent and also just a protective Dad! Yay, good parenting!

Tohru's confession to loving Kyo was amazing however I still adore Kyo's confession a little bit more. Just a bit. Lol. However, if you add the moment later in episode 8 it trumps it completely. Ethereal goddess.

Kyo and Tohru's grandfather having a scene together was great and nice

Now that I think about it, I wish there was more a visual link in the story between Tohru adapting her speech to imitate her Dad and Momiji adopting his Mum's German accent. Albeit for slightly different reasons, it just adds to the unique connection Tohru and Momiji have. In short, I'm seeing this ship with my third eye now. I get it lol

I don't wanna screencap the scene where Kyo is haunted by both his deceased mother and deceased Kyoko and potentially deceased Tohru because it's the stuff of nightmares. But, it was a wonderfully done scene. You definitely understand fully and clearly why Kyo buried all of that trauma under his hatred for Yuki (I CAN'T WAIT FOR EPISODE 9, YOU GUISE!)

If Akito is a villain, Ren is the final boss. Although, with her type of villainy... I feel like I can kind of enjoy a bit more. She reminds me of a Greek God in the ways she master manipulates people and her desperation for control and power (I just read 'Mythos' by Stephen Fry, it's a great read lol)

It lowkey feels like every female character who's comfortable in expressing their sexuality in this story is punished in some way for it... this is an incomplete thought

Shigure as a child feeling like they should all be pitied is so... mature... I feel like I need more of an explanation for why Shigure is the way he is

Akito's ego death with Kureno? Amazing. I loved that she was at least aware enough to realise how Kureno had been coddling her all this time but again... doesn't excuse her crimes

But anyways...

EPISODE 8

Honestly? I really don't have much to say about this episode besides 3-5 points I wanna get out of my head. It's not a bad thing at all, it's just that there's still a lot left to play out from this 'arc' and this season in general that I wanna complete my thoughts on.

But I'll start with this:

Lol, isn't it funny?! Isn't it heart-wrenchingly funny how the relationship between Kyo and Tohru has kinda reverted back to how they were at the start of the series? The coldness of Kyo at the beginning of this episode (and throughout) was a bit of a gut punch considering all the light and fluffy moments that we've gotten between the two since the True Form arc.

Talking about the True Form arc, I feel like this episode is somewhat a repeat of the same emotions, same trials of the True Form arc. Kyo still 'runs away like he always has' but this time we get him being the most honest and confrontational with his own emotions and trauma than he ever has been during the course of this whole story. While trusting someone (Tohru specifically) for the first time with the whole truth of his story! He always seems to move one step forward and then three steps backwards and while it's a tad bit frustrating, it feels very... real. I'll probably complete my feelings how this arc reflects the True Form arc when we finish this section of the story in future episode(s).

Considering the fact that 80% of this episode is Jerry Jewell monologuing as Kyo and I never got bored really just sells his performance. Kyo was being incredibly cold this episode and yet the range of emotions through his performance made it feel understandable enough for you to empathise with it.

BrattyKid!Kyo to lighten the mood 😹I still wish he and Hiro had more of a relationship, I feel like they could have taught each other a lot. Well... mostly Kyo teaching Hiro tbh

Kyo rejecting Kyoka for her honesty and kindness and then later rejecting Tohru? Oh... kid...

Wow, I felt so good about that whole episode of Kid!Yuki helping Kid!Tohru get home and then it's slightly soured knowing KID!KYO was running about the streets alllll night into the morning?!?! I really did feel Kyo's frustration at not getting that win to actually do something right. And the irony of that being linked to him being unable to save Kyoka from the oncoming car?

Honestly, I don't know what my feelings are on Kyo being unable to save Kyoka. I don't even know what my feelings are on Tohru pretty much pushing that aside in favour of her feelings for Kyo. It's... complicated and I've been mulling it over in my head for the last 10+ years hahah However, if I was in Tohru's position I think I'd eventually come to a point where it feels like it's too late to really do anything about how bad I'd feel about it. Kyo's intentions weren't horrid, if anything he was just being a scared kid and he's allowed to be that. I just wish Tohru had a bit more time to evaluate it but considering she knew her mother well and assumes that wouldn't have been the full scope of what she had said, I don't have much of a problem with it in general

Lol, I love when Tohru gets a 'FUCK YOU, I LOVE YOU' moment with Kyo. 😂Another reflected scene from the True Form arc... only thing is that this time... it doesn't quite work. 😕

(Again, I love how all of these reflections are resolved in later occurences in response to the duality but I'll get to it next week when it shows hopefully)

Laura Bailey only had a few sentences in this episode but she killed it as always. Comparing her performance in 2001 to now is just... growth!

Ok, so Yuki automatically gets Best Boi in this episode for meddling and chasing after KYO of all people. Showing how he's personally done with hating Kyo. Realising Kyo is pretty much the only person who'll make his mother happy. I think he also lowkey wants to understand Kyo? But, we'll get to that next week.

....Oh yeah, Akito is there.

--------------------------------------------------------------

In total, I liked this episode even though it has me anxious for the next one. We finally get the full picture of why Kyo is the way he is! Ahhhh - a weight off all our chests, I'm sure. I kinda don't like that they put the ending theme at the end of these episodes - the joyfulness doesn't really match up with the intense theme? But, that's just a minor gripe. And hey, maybe they just want the audience to know... it's all gonna be okay :)

See you next week!!!

[ingek73]

Fairytales for fuckwits: Meghan, a children's book, and the school bully tactics of the British tabloids...

Piers Morgan's obsession with Meghan Markle continues, while Mike Graham appears worried there may be too many big words for him to understand.

Mic Wright

May 6

On May the 4th, there was a great disturbance in the force, as if thousands of tabloid reporters and talk radio pundits cried out at once: The Duchess of Sussex had announced she was writing a children’s book.

Since the earth-shattering news that Meghan has written a story about the relationship between father’s and their sons — apparently based on a poem she wrote for Prince Harry — the tabloid press and talk radio stations have gone into meltdown.

The Sun has managed to crank out seven hysterically-pitched stories on the announcement since it dropped — the book isn’t out until June 8th — with each more unhinged than the last:

MEG TO PAPER Meghan Markle writes children’s book inspired by Prince Harry and baby Archie about ‘bond between father and son’

MEG-A MOVE Meghan Markle’s first priority should be mending broken relationships with royals not writing kids’ book, expert claims

SOUNDS A BIT WOODEN ‘Schmaltzy’ Meghan Markle ‘on dodgy ground’ with kids’ book celebrating fathers ‘after own bust-up with dad’ says author

DOUBLE DUCH Meghan Markle accused of copying her kids’ book The Bench from another story – but author defends her

NOT WRITE Piers Morgan slams ‘hypocrite’ Meghan Markle for kids’ book on ‘father-son bond’ after ‘ruining Harry and Charles’ ties’

'RIDICULOUS' Meghan Markle using Duchess of Sussex as author name ‘laughable’ after she wanted to cut Royal ties, says royal expert

CUT PRICE Meghan Markle’s kids’ book has price slashed already at Amazon and Waterstones

You’ll notice that Piers Morgan — a man who has turned one drink with Meghan after which he claims she “ghosted him”, which took place in 2016, into a five year and counting obsession — gets his own story there. That’s The Sun filleting Morgan’s spittle-flecked Daily Mail column on the book for its own news piece.

Morgan, who trails his columns on Twitter like they are exciting new releases rather than the tabloid equivalent of a letter scrawled in faeces forced through your letterbox, dashed out his thoughts on The Bench with the indecent haste of a man running along while his trousers fall down.

Image description: “Twitter avatar for @BreeNewsome

DEFUND & ABOLISH POLICE, REFUND OUR COMMUNITIES

@BreeNewsome

Piers Morgan’s obsession with Meghan Markle is genuinely disturbing. He’s really just using the guise of journalism to be a public stalker and harasser.

May 5th 2021

1,414 Retweets10,252 Likes”

-

Beneath a typically screaming Mail headline — How the hell can Meghan 'I hate royalty but call me Duchess' Markle preach about father-child relationships when she's disowned her own Dad, and wrecked her husband's relationship with his? — Morgan howled:

… she continues to cynically exploit her royal titles because she knows that's the only reason anyone is paying her vast sums of money to spew her uniquely unctuous brand of pious hectoring gibberish in Netflix documentaries, Spotify podcasts or children's books.

Of course, her equally cynical publishers don't give a damn about any of this shocking double standard.

Forget the fact that Meghan had a good degree of personal fame before she ever met Prince Harry, Piers Morgan accusing anyone else of being a cynical fame chaser is beyond parody. From his earliest days as a gossip hack, Morgan has muscled into pictures with the rich and famous, desperate to be someone.

When Meghan was willing to indulge him, he showered her with praise, but once she stopped taking his calls, he turned into the Tinder match from hell. That he has been married to his second wife, fellow controversialist columnist Celia Walden since 2010 seemingly did nothing to dampen his obsession.

Having repeatedly interviewed Meghan’s estranged father Thomas Markle — another man aggrieved because a woman would rather not spend time with him — Morgan sneers:

If she really cared about father-child relationships, she'd take a chauffeur-driven limousine on the hour-long trip to see her own father who's never even met either Harry or Archie.

It’s projection again: Piers Morgan’s ego is so egg-shell thin that after Meghan decided that one drink was more than enough, he’s spent 5 years seeking revenge and convinced that he’s been wronged, just like her ‘poor old dad’. That’s the ‘poor old dad’ that insists on talking about his daughter to journalists at every possible occasion.

At the end of an article that implies Harry and Meghan contributed to the death of Prince Philip — he died of natural causes — and rants on about “the woke”, Morgan ends with this:

But then as we've seen from her gruesomely self-interested behaviour during a pandemic that's caused so much devastation and pain to billions around the world, Meghan Markle doesn't really care about anyone but herself.

Remember, the Duchess of Sussex’s only ‘crime’ here is to write a children’s book which people will be free to buy or ignore with equal ease. But, as ever, Piers Morgan treats the news with all the proportionality of a US drone strike.

The real story here is about how Morgan — the bittiest of bit-part players in the narrative of Meghan and Harry’s lives — is so desperate to upgrade his place in the cast list that he will rant and rave to stay relevant. His departure from Good Morning Britain came after his last stream of invective about Meghan and he knows this schtick gets him the attention and money he craves.

Image description: “Twitter avatar for @MariaLRoach

Maria Roach

@MariaLRoach

Meghan Markle inside the tiny space called Piers Morgan’s head. #duchessofsussex Tap Dance GIF by Miss America

May 5th 2021

122 Retweets1,619 Likes”

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Aside from Morgan’s column, MailOnline has published 9 other news stories on or related to the book announcement. The most telling of them is one that links the Duchess of Sussex’s book to another one… by the Duchess of Cambridge.

Headlined Bookshelf battle royale! Kate Middleton shares a glimpse inside her Hold Still photobook just a day after Meghan Markle unveiled her own £12.99 children's story, the story unsurprisingly treats Kate with kid gloves while continuing to imply that Meghan is the kind of person who would make gloves out of kids if it suited her devilish schemes.

There’s no shade thrown at the Duchess of Cambridge for revealing further details of her book just hours after Meghan’s announcement. Instead, the story — lavishly illustrated with images from the book — gushes:

The Duchess of Cambridge has shared a glimpse of her photography book Hold Still ahead of its release on Friday…

… Kate, 39, a keen photographer, launched a campaign during the first lockdown last year to ask the public to submit images which captured the period.

It even includes a mention of an image of a BLM protestor saying:

Over the course of the project, the Duchess shared a number of her favourite images on the Kensington Royal Instagram page, including a Black Lives Matter protester holding a sign reading: 'Be on the right side of history.'

If Meghan had done the same she would have been decried for “supporting extremists”. Remember the contrasting way their mutual taste for avocado was covered?

15 Headlines Show How Differently The British Press Treat Meghan Markle Vs Kate Middleton | Bored Panda

Over at The Daily Telegraph, Spiked alumna Ella Whelan offered her thoughts on a book that isn’t released until next month under the headline Meghan Markle’s fun-free children’s book may put an entire generation off reading, which makes it sound like a grimoire full of dark magic rather than a gentle children’s book about kids and their dads.

Just as with the Mail’s story on Kate’s book, it’s worth imagining what Whelan would say if the Duchess of Cambridge had written The Bench. Look at the following section…

It reveals something of the political superficiality of Harry and Meghan’s activism that an “inclusive” book would use the military father as its promotional message. Perhaps it’s a cultural thing, but if my kids have to read about soldiers, I’d prefer Hans Christian Andersen’s tin version rather than the woke posturing of a former royal.

… and notice that because Meghan is the author including a father who is in the military is “political superficiality”. If Kate had written a story that featured an analogue for Prince William — who also spent time in uniform, though in less dangerous circumstances than his ‘spare’ brother — Whelan would likely deem it a ‘touching tribute to their love’.

Similarly, Sarah Ferguson — the ex-wife of Prince Andrew, top Yelp! reviewer for Jeffrey Epstein’s houses and noted avoider of FBI questioning — uses the title Duchess of York on her many execrable children’s books.

Now that Meghan is the tabloid’s new monster in the monarchy, Fergie’s antics are pointed to as a positive with her books flattered even as Meghan’s as-yet-unpublished book is panned.

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talkRADIO

@talkRADIO

Meghan Markle is releasing a new children's book about father-son relationships.

Mike Graham: "It's so juvenile. This is somebody who acts like she's still in high school... it's not exactly Tennyson, is it?

@mrmarkdolan | @Iromg Image

May 5th 2021

36 Retweets221 Likes”

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Over on talkRADIO, Mike Graham — a melting mass of expired meat — ranted about a children’s book, worried perhaps that it will contain too many long words. Speaking to his colleague, Mark Dolan — Dennis Pennis without the charm — Graham crowed:

It’s so juvenile. This is somebody who acts like she’s still in high school… I don’t have anything against her for any particular reason, other than she’s a bit too American, you know. She thinks everything is just great and cheesy. Rhyming the words ‘joy’ and ‘boy’. It’s not exactly Tennyson, is it?

Ah yes, that famous children’s author, Alfred, Lord Tennyson, known for such devastating rhymes as this one from The Lady of Shallot: “She left the web/ She left the loom/ She made three paces through the room.”

I’m not saying The Lady of Shalott is rubbish — though I do still hold a grudge against Tennyson after some very tedious teaching in high school — but that focusing on one rhyme in a poem is an easy trick if you want to say its shit. That Graham cannot see the irony in decrying writing a children’s book as “juvenile” is just one of the reasons he’s employed by a station with less than 1% reach.

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Nadim Baba

@NadimJBaba

Piers Morgan ranting about the one who got away in 5, 4, 3.......

Media Guardian @mediaguardian

Meghan wins copyright claim against Mail on Sunday over letter https://t.co/cJZTgDMvgz

May 5th 2021

1 Like”

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There’ll be a new round of these columns, stories, and talk radio segments when the book is released, particularly as The Mail on Sunday just lost the second part of Meghan’s copyright claim against it.

There’s nothing that either Meghan or Harry could do that wouldn’t drive these rats in a sack rabid. If they did nothing, they’d be called lazy. When they make things, take jobs, or really say anything the very media that benefits hugely from stories about them scream that it’s a cry for attention. And yet Piers Morgan regularly pissing himself in public is “commentary”.