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#because that only makes the time spent as harpy worse
blobbei-art · 2 years
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I know people probably aren’t following me for my OCs but y’all are gonna have to endure whenever I post about them.
Harpy!AU Kasifer felt appropriate for Halloween because it’s him being cursed to be a monster. He’s still nice though, just depressed about it.
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niftukkun · 1 year
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honk (“honk!”) if you’re hungry for chaos! come on, “honk! honk!” like a horrible goose!
for the second week of @/shepscapades 's hermitcraft character design event, i offer grian as a chaotic goose!
so originally my concept was actually grian as the lamb from cult of the lamb, but then memories of the untitled goose game descended upon me like visions from an angry god, so i couldnt not do grian as The Goose. it fits, really, since the whole point of the goose game is to spread unmitigated chaos, and grian thrives on chaos and unpredictability
for notes on character design,, i actually didnt know what to do at first? like, ok, grian as the goose, but do i just draw a goose? make grian into a goose hybrid and thatse it? i actually really debated letting him keep his red jumper cause while its a big indicator of Grian its also,, really out of place for goose if that makes sense. my next pass at designs was arguably worse since it was more or less just a naked harpy with no resemblance to grian OR the goose game.
i actually ended up taking inspiration from one of my ocs (lycomedes my beloved boy i will one day post you) and gave grian this. mask-not-mask? if you look at the art there isnt actually a line separating mask from skin so that implies its less a mask and more His Face and that fit more than actually giving him a beak or just a plain human esque face so i kept it and it looks great! i also gave him arms instead of a more harpy esque No Hands look because Despite My Best Efforts it did not look good :(
to keep him looking like grian i gave him the hair i started doing specifically for grian and also little red highlights here and there (notable places include the eyes because Slay and the nails because Slay (im only half joking here)) but other than that i kind of did nothing else and am shocked at how much silhouette actually matters?? like it registers to me as grian despite yknow looking nothing like his actual minecraft skin so. win!! hell yeah!!!
little details include the bell i spent way too much time on, the sign that im far too proud of (its so good!!) and of course, the crowning piece, the Untitled Grian Game logo (and grian face) (its so funny to me i keep laughing whenever i look into those soulless minecraft eyes) (its so good!!!!!)
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the-chattering-tower · 7 months
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For Lore asks!
I need you to tell me things about Shio and Krasna because I read "gay roadtrip" and every serotonin receptor in my brain engaged- do they have any experiences in their travels together that had that 'terrible at the time, but they laugh about it later' vibe to them?
Because I also have a circus performer named Starling (He's a Knife thrower!) I'd like to know more about yours!- Did they always want to be a dancer? Is his talent with magic from something he'd rather forget, or are they simply just reluctant to discuss it with people that don't know them particularly well-even their family among the circus?
This got long, so I'm gonna pop it under a read more!
Krasna and Shio my beloveds
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Oh, absolutely! The most notable instance being randomly running into Vortex only a week or two after Shio had decided to start behaving himself. Vortex is a bounty hunter, travelling along the Molten Scar and adjacent territories picking up suitable jobs, and they have spent years on and off in the same town that Shio is from. Except they haven't visited in a few years and as a result have Completely Missed the whole thing about Shio becoming Too Much Of A Problem and Getting Yeeten
Meaning Vortex is very enthusiastic about running into "little Shio :)" randomly! It's like meeting an aunt you haven't seen in like seven years - they maybe remember what used to be your Favourite Thing when you were a kid and mostly guess right which of your siblings is the eldest, but also they only really ask about how school is going (you graduated three years ago) and if you've got a girlfriend yet. This is not at all dispelled by the fact that Vortex is covered in spikes and carries weapons neither of the gays could hope to lift. Vortex asks how things are back home, what fun journey Shio must be having this far out, and also immediately jokes about whether Krasna is Shio's boyfriend. And Shio freezes bc this is already Unexpected and he has No Script For This. Charisma gone. Gay crush called out. Oh shit oh fuck
Krasna tries his best to conduct the interaction in the moments Shio needs to get his shit together, but Krasna's way of doing that is Be Friendly and Nod Along, which according to Shio only makes things Worse and More Awakward. In the moment it's a whole lot of fumbling and digging themselves deeper into social holes to be witnessed by someone who used to give Shio mediocre candy when he was still a hatchling
Later on it does become an anecdote to laugh about though, especially for Krasna who loves to retell it and watch Shio's mortification
*
Oh! Fellow circus Starling haver! That's a fun coincidence :D
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Starling is so old in terms of how long I've had them for, how long ago I wrote his bio, that I have Absolutely No Clue where 2019 me was going with the whole magic secrecy thing. So, time to reinvent it! And answer two questions in the process at once
Starling did not always wanna be a dancer, no. Once upon a time, he was a very promising student in a very prestigious magic academy. It's what they were told they were good at from a very young age, and it was true. They were on a path to greatness, according to the adults watching over him
Until one day Starling realised that it's not what he Wants. A friend had dragged them out of studying to join them at a local harpy festival for the evening, and from then it was all downhill for Starling, as far as their tutors were concerned anyway. He found joy outside of the academy walls, in ribbons and music and dance, in entertainment and laughs and quick flings
They didn't run away with the circus, no. They unenrolled, paid their tuition, set out on their own. The joy he had found mattered but he wanted to be somewhere without the shadow of the academy looming right over it
Back when they were still a new addition to the circus, the refusal to talk about where he learned magic from was indeed because he hoped to just…forget. They had worked hard to become a dancer, to hone their art, they had put a lot of love and joy into it. They worried that upon learning about his education, others would focus in on that, ignore his "lesser" accomplishment of pursuing dance and instead mourn the lost, prospective academic career. Today, it's still the reason they don't disclose it to strangers and to new additions to the circus right away, though now less driven by fear and self-consciousness and more by just not wanting to deal with it, thank you very much
Also, it's funny. A dancer with mysteriously acquired magic powers, don't tell anyone that said mysterious acquisition involved a lot of all-nighters and takeout
He had spent years refusing to do much more than basic magic around others for the same reasons. They still don't do it much, not the most powerful or complicated stuff anyway, but they don't constrain themself too hard. They've made peace with it, accepted that their knowledge does still matter, can still be useful and a point of pride without overwhelming. Only then did he start incorporating magic into his dance
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kaizoku-musume · 11 months
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Tipsy Temptations
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Entry #3 in @xxsycamore’s Visions of Temptation kinktober event. I have a brief summary of my OC here for anyone interested. Also, I'm extending my personal deadline to the end of December-Kinktober is now Kinktember lol.
Fandom: Ikepri
Pairing: Silvio x OC
Word Count: 2.8k
Prompts: Angry sex | Vanilla sex
“So,” Aurelia said as she poured wine into three glasses, “Spill. We need all the details. How’s life as the king’s consort been? And how is that ruffian treating you?”
Rene covered his face with his hands. “No, I knew you were going to do this to me,” he peeked at his sisters from between his fingers, “You know I’m not the consort yet. We’re not even engaged! And I don’t even really want to be called that when I am one. I’m still not used to the idea, and you know how I feel about titles.”
“Don’t worry, when the time comes, we’ll be sure to only think of you as Silvio’s husband instead,” Lisette teased.
“You two have gotten worse since getting engaged, I hope you know that,” Rene accused as he sulkily took a sip of the rosé.
“So will you,” Lisette shot back, “Now stop stalling and tell us how your dating life has been.”
Rene groaned, blushing fiercely. “I hate you both. I don’t remember grilling you this hard when you guys started dating.” Aurelia and Lisette shared a disbelieving look, which-fair. If he absolutely had to admit it to himself, Rene did his fair share of egging them on. But that was only because he truly didn’t think he’d ever be in a relationship himself. If he could turn back time, he would have definitely gone easier on them. “You guys know he’s actually super nice to me now that we’re together, but it’s way more than that. He’s so doting, you have no idea. I never expected him to pamper me as much as he does. He’s even more overprotective than you guys!”
“I’m not surprised,” Aurelia said, “We wouldn’t have let him whisk you away if we thought he wouldn’t treat you the way you deserve to be.” She leaned forward conspiratorially, “But surely that’s not all you have to say, is it? We’re here for the juicy gossip, not to hear what we already knew about. Tell us all about what an adorable, dedicated partner you’ve got wrapped around your finger.”
Rene bit his lip around a smile, ready to give stories that were just vague enough on the details that he could keep all the important bits a secret.
* * *
Rene hummed as he tipsily strode down the hallway to the room he was sharing with Silvio, skirt fluttering as he swayed along to music he played in his head. The Benitoitian castle was more to Rene’s tastes in terms of colours-bright blues, creamy whites, shiny golds, all bright and well balanced to mirror the glitter of the ocean-but there was something homey about Rhodolite’s that made him feel nostalgic. It was always nice to be back for a visit, not just to see his sisters. He’d always remember the time spent in this castle, making friends with the princes, exploring the giant library, the spot where he first met Silvio.
Speaking of Silvio, Rene opened the door to find him already in the room, shrugging out of his coat as if he got there moments before Rene himself. Silvio immediately noticed him standing there in the doorway. “That was quick,” he said as he tossed his cloak over the back of a chair, “I wasn’t expecting you to come back so-oof!” Silvio, winded, caught Rene as the smaller man launched himself at him, wrapping his arms around his neck.
“Hi,” Rene smiled up at Silvio, near vibrating with joy when Silvio flushed and adjusted his hold on Rene’s waist, arms coming around to hug him back.
“Hi yourself,” Silvio raised an eyebrow, “I see your sisters succeeded in getting you drunk. Shouldn’t you still be with them? Don’t tell me they sent you back here early-I know those harpies wouldn’t tear their claws out of their precious brother that easily.”
“I’m buzzed, not drunk,” Rene protested, “and we decided to end early for the night. I think they could tell I missed you when I was talking about you, because they did suggest we end early, for your information.”
Silvio narrowed his eyes and gently squeezed Rene, bringing one hand up ruffle soft pink hair, “And what exactly were you talking about that made you miss me, huh? Am I going to have to punish you for spreading secrets?”
Rene, unsurprisingly to Silvio by this point, giggled in response to the threat. “I just told them about how sweet you are to me,” he nuzzled into Silvio’s chest, “A few simple stories without any of the big details. I didn’t want to tell them a lot of specifics because those are just for me to have.”
“You-!” Silvio flushed harder. He wouldn’t have put it past Rene to tell his sisters everything; he may not have a good relationship with his siblings but even he knew that those who did were comfortable enough to share relationship stories, and Rene and his sisters were very close. He’d been worried about that all night, in fact: that Lisette and Aurelia would ambush him tomorrow with jokes about how whipped he was. But to hear that Rene wanted to hoard their moments between them like a dragon protecting its treasure? “So, what, they tried to ply you with alcohol to get you to spill? You need some water to help sober up?” Silvio asked, refusing to address the adorable thing Rene just said.
“You know what I’m like when I’m actually drunk,” Rene peered up at Silvio shyly, squirming as he admitted, “I knew if I got drunk, you’d put me to bed instead of . . .” Rene broke off in an unintelligible mumble.
“Sorry, what was that?” Silvio teased, having a very good idea of what Rene was getting at, “I couldn’t hear ya. What did you want me to do to you?”
The tips of his ears bright red, Rene buried his face in Silvio’s chest as he said just loud enough to be heard, “I wanted you to make love to me.”
Silvio tipped Rene’s head back with hands cupped to his cheeks and surged forward to kiss him, partly to hide his own blush and partly because Rene openly admitting his desire for Silvio always gave him an overwhelming need to touch his boyfriend in some way. Rene met him eagerly, kissing back with fervor. Silvio walked Rene back toward the bed, shimmying Rene’s dress off him along the way, helping Rene not fall over when he nearly tripped while slipping his shoes and underwear off. When Rene was down to nothing, they worked on Silvio, tugging off all his clothes and jewelry as best they could while not breaking off their eager kisses. Once they were both naked, Silvio lifted Rene onto the bed, climbing in after him.
Silvio gave Rene one last deep kiss before pulling back. “I’d ask if you’re sure you’re only tipsy, but I forgot you’re a maudlin drunk,” he brushed a thumb across the corner of Rene’s eye, “and there aren’t nearly enough tears for that.”
“That was one time!” Rene argued. “And it was totally your fault, you tyrant!”
“Really?” Silvio rummaged through the nightstand and retrieved the lube, “Because I remember you working yourself up all on your own. Remind me what you were blubbering on about and we’ll see who’s to blame.”
Rene tilted his head up against the pillow haughtily, “Big words from someone who totally freaked out trying to calm me down that night. How many times did you apologize, again? I don’t think someone who's blameless would do that.” 
“Is that how you want to play it?” Silvio challenged. The playful, happy look in Rene’s eyes belied his impish smirk, and far be it from Silvio not to play along and give his lover exactly what he wanted. “I’ll show you blameless, you cheeky brat,” he said as he bent down to nibble on Rene’s earlobe, his hands sweeping up and down Rene’s torso.
“That doesn’t even make sense!” Rene giggled, wrapping his arms around Silvio’s shoulders. His laughter turned to sighs and hums of pleasure as Silvio kissed and nipped at his jaw and neck, his mouth slowly trailing down Rene’s body.
“Better be careful at Benitiotian parties,” Silvio warned, lapping at Rene’s nipple while he pinched the other one, “If you’re not careful, you can easily drink yourself into a stupor. Merchants especially  will try to ply you with liquor, and knowing you, it’ll be all too easy to wind up weeping on the ballroom floor.”
“I cry in front of you once and now I’m a crybaby who can’t handle his liquor?” Rene pouted, voice shaky under Silvio’s onslaught.
“You’re welcome to prove me wrong,” Silvio dipped his tongue into Rene’s naval before trailing down to his hips, “When we’re back home, we’ll see who has a higher tolerance.”
“You better watch yourself, I’ll drink you under the table. That’ll show you to underestimate-oh!” Rene jerked when Silvio licked a stripe up his cock. 
“You wanna try that again?” Silvio goaded before taking to the task of sucking Rene off with aplomb, wrapping spit-slick lips around his dick without hesitation, his hand wrapped around the base. Rene whined, legs twitching against Silvio’s weight pinning them to the bed. Silvio pulled off briefly to crow, “That’s what I thought,” before going back to dragging his mouth up and down Rene’s cock.
Rene brought one hand down and buried his fingers in Silvio’s hair, trying not to yank at the strands as he held on for dear life; his other hand was used to stuff the knuckle of his index finger in his mouth to stifle his moans. Silvio, the jerk, seemed to be doing everything he could to get Rene to lose control: in between rhythmic glides along Rene’s cock, he’d slide up until only the head was in his mouth, lips suckling at the sensitive glans and tongue teasing at the slit, then take all of Rene in at once and swallow tightly around him. Occasionally, he popped off to gently lick at Rene’s balls, thumb smoothing over the gradually tightening sack, spreading drool and precome.
“Silvio, Silvio, I’m-I’m close,” Rene warned, tugging on the sheets by his head as he spiraled toward the cliff’s edge. Silvio took that as his cue to double down, deepthroating Rene and sucking even harder, tongue tracing the veins along Rene’s shaft in an effort to throw Rene over the edge faster. And boy did it work: the heat, the wetness, the suction of Silvio’s mouth drove him higher and higher until the sensation of Silvio humming around him finally sent him over. Rene cried out as he came, his orgasm drawn out as Silvio swallowed around him. Rene whimpered when Silvio finally pulled off him, dragging his lips across his softening cock just to be an asshole. He made a show of swiping across his mouth the way one might if they were wiping away crumbs. “That was quick,” he said arrogantly, smug in how quick he got Rene to come.
Rene groaned and flung an arm over his eyes. “You can’t keep saying that every time,” he complained.
“Maybe don’t come on a hair trigger every time then,” Silvio shot back playfully, like he hadn’t just purposefully pulled out all the tricks solely to have Rene coming as fast as possible. Silvio tugged Rene’s arm away from his face as he snapped the lube open and poured a generous amount onto his fingers (he always took care to use too much rather than too little). He brought his hand to Rene’s hole and circled it teasingly before pressing one finger in, mouth returning to Rene’s nipples.
“Maybe don’t be so good at blowing me,” Rene said around a moan as Silvio steadily fingered him open, nipping at his left nipple while his free hand tweaked the other one. He liked stoking Silvio’s ego every so often because-
“Oh yeah?” Silvio smirked, the expression undeniably sexy as he hurriedly pressed another finger in and worked quicker at getting Rene ready for him, tugging almost meanly at his nipple, “You want to see what else I’m good at?”
-that would happen. Shy Silvio was adorable and precious, but confident Silvio sent heat through Rene. “Please,” Rene begged, rocking into Silvio’s fingers. He tipped his head up imploringly, clutching at Silvio’s arms.
Silvio, reading into his request, bent down and kissed Rene, who made a pleased noise. He eagerly opened his mouth for Silvio’s tongue to slip in, not caring that he could taste himself. His whine was muffled when Silvio pulled his fingers free, but the soon-to-be-king quickly replaced it with his cock, gently feeding it inch by inch inside until he was fully seated, where he sat still for a moment so Rene could adjust.
A moment that was not appreciated by Rene himself, who wrapped his legs around Silvio’s waist and squeezed. He tore away from Silvio’s mouth enough to implore him to move, hips jerking up to hopefully add more encouragement. Silvio huffed, amused and exasperated, but he followed it up with a few short thrusts that soon became a deep, even rhythm when Rene didn’t show any signs of pain or displeasure. “Like that, like that, more,” Rene said breathily, hands coming up to clutch at Silvio’s back, hips rocking to meet Silvio’s.
“You’re pretty damn needy, you know that?” Silvio said, speeding up to appease Rene. He brushed kisses along Rene’s cheek, his jaw, his ear, unable to pull back too far because of Rene’s grip on him but unwilling to, anyway. He pressed close to Rene, pinning their bodies together while being careful not to crush him into the bed too much (even though Rene wouldn’t have any complaints if he did).
“Yeah, but you like it, right?” Rene hated how his voice wavered with uncertainty. The fact that he was here with Silvio now was a testament to how much the seafaring merchant wanted him, but Rene was worried there’d always be a little voice in his ear, sounding remarkably like his biological parents, telling him he would ruin this somehow. He was needy, terribly so, despite trying so hard not to be, and he wouldn’t be able to bear it if Silvio ever became off-put by it.
Thankfully, Silvio seemed to sense exactly what Rene was thinking. “Course I like it,” he assured, wrapping an arm underneath Rene’s waist, pressing them even closer, using his other hand for leverage and stability where it was pressed against the bed. “It’s how you show your charm. Keep showing me how much you need me and I’ll give you what you want,” Silvio punctuated his statement with a couple sharp, hard thrusts right against his prostate.
“Yes, I need it, I need you,” Rene buried his face in Silvio’s neck, an all-too familiar stinging sensation behind his eyes. He held on tight as Silvio’s powerful thrusts rocked him like a ship in stormy weather, voice going high around moans and whimpers as he repeated desperate pleas and Silvio’s name. “Silvio, Silvio, more, please, give it, I need it, Silvio, please!”
Silvio growled and fucked into Rene even harder, wanting to make him come first. He used the arm around Rene’s waist to press their hips together tightly, Rene’s cock grinding against his stomach as Silvio repeatedly struck his sweet spot. His pleas turned to wordless cries as he drew closer to climax, limbs clamping down around Silvio. A few more thrusts exactly like that and he was tumbling over the edge, Silvio following right after him.
Silvio collapsed next to Rene, the two of them still clinging to each other, heedless of the mess between them. In fact, Rene was trying to scooch even closer, like the black hole of affection that he was. Luckily, SIlvio was the same, and he obliged Rene’s wriggling, tucking Rene further against his side.
“I really do love you a lot,” Rene admitted softly, “Lisette and Aurelia made fun of how I always brag about you in all my letters-” as if they didn’t do the exact same about their partners, in their own ways-”but it’s true. I was really happy for them when they found their true loves, but part of me was always jealous even though I told myself I’d given up. And then you showed up, and I know you love me a lot too, even after everything, and that’s . . . I didn’t think I’d ever get this lucky, is all.”
Silvio brought his hand up and cradled Rene’s head, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “Damn right you’re lucky,” he muttered, voice tight with emotion he refused to name. Rene held back a laugh; Silvio was still far better at showing his love through actions instead of words, but Rene was great at translating what he really meant. He rested comfortably in the knowledge that Silvio felt the same as him.
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ducknotinarow · 5 months
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Richard - Family Meme; all that apply uwu
talk about family meme
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Send 👔 for my muse to talk about their father
“I don’t know what all you really want to hear on the topic. I wasn’t around my farther too much growing up. You think of me as a workaholic and sure I am I’ll admit to that. My father was far worse. He only even left his office around the weekends. Course he worked in his hom office. He came from a respected family but was the youngest of five sons. So he wasn’t going to I hear it anything for himself. He saw a chance to get what he wanted and made a deal with my mother. Ture to his word he took over that company and made it more successful than ever. Some may even assume he was no were near as bad as my mother. The lesser of tw evils maybe even..but no. My parents marriage may not make sense from the outside. Normally when people marry it is for love the thought of making a family and speanding thier life together. Not so much them but they were still partners in every sense of the word. My father was just as involved in my growth as my mother was. If anything he was the one to rise the stakes. He was always good at that. I don’t think I’ll after him much outside in looks. In truth I will never forgive him for being the root cause of my brothers death. He was the one that got Zane hooked on to drinking, drinking during meetings was common. Zane, was a social and happy drunk so it just up his charisma. At the same time he is a bit of what I measure success by even in my age now. Constantly needing to fight it because I don’t want to run my self into being exactly like him so I guess he is more the model of what going to all in. The kind of farther I never wish to be like. Unsupportive, cold, distance and uncaring. I don’t phone it in with Buddy but I do put in the effort to show my son I am here for him."
Richard has had time to really reflect on his childhood be coming a parent himself was kind of the first step for him to really finally doing that because well he and Bailey sort of ended up with a kid suddenly so Richard didn't get to stumble through those first stages of Buddy's life to figure it out he had to do it well on the job. Meaning he thought a lot about how he was raised in turn the relationship he had with his Dad. And well that isnt the kind of father he wants to be. he still learned from his father but as what not to be.
Send 👚 for my muse to talk about their mother
"A harpy of a women, who lacked any sense of tack or taste. She was privilege from day one and never let it not be known that she was a heiress to a upstanding family. Even to her own kids. As I said my parents didn't marry for love it was a marriage of convenience my mother just wanted to remain rich and not work. My father made that possible. Surprisingly they could be a effective team when put together. I guess i spent most my time around my mother growing up..and that may have resulted in a lot of how I am now. She didn't have very good taste i recall how often my childhood home got a 'make off' and the color choices she picked always clashed not to mention always having patterns? Bailey should be grateful my crime is only pineapple shirts in all truth. My work habits are from my father I will admit my personality..may be fostered by my mother. I was around her far more since Zane was learning from my father. I am full of myself but even I sometimes am a bit struck by what comes out of my mouth...well aware that I know where I learned it from. If I had to say I learned anything good from her? It was to stand by my partner no matter what. And well she did always tell me how to treat a women...I jjst also extended thst to men. I swear despite be being dick deep in one nearly every day she still insists I'm stright and doing it to spite her."
Growing up since Zane was raised to take over the family business Richard in turn was around his mother a lot. Despite Melody being well a full blow narcissist she didn't like the idea of a stranger rising her kid. Which did mean Richard spent most his time around his mother least till old enough to be left on his own. I joke this man has no taste because sadly he only knew taste from his mothers lens which is tacky af XD Richard wears blue all this time because his mother insisted it was his color and at least she wasn't wrong there, sadly being raised by a narcissistic Richard doesn't fully know the things he likes a lot of it learned from him growing up away from her. On the last point lack of love or not Richard can state his parents seemed to have a strong relationship in some way seeing how Melody always stood by Thomas' choices. They were always on the same page and worked together if that make it worse or better is hard to say. So yes Richard's self love isn't only as a sort of defense because of how low his parents could make him feel but a learned behavior from being around his mother so much as a young kid. I have had him so out there shit but don't worry even he sometimes has to take a step back and be all..the fuck did I just say XD he just knows how to own it at least.
Send 🤜 for my muse to talk about (one of) their sibling(s)
"I don't feel there will ever be enough to say about my brother, and yet I feel so much time waste that wasn't spent voicing those same things to him. Losing my brother turly placed a hole in my life. I won't every fully be myself without him. My brother was just very speical in my life our time was short but the time we had I'll treasure and I hope where ever he is now he can see me and is proud of who I have become. That said, my older brother was a ture pain and never knew how to leave me alone always bugging the crap out of me. Rising my competitive nature better than anyone even compared to my justified hate with Starducks. Thought himself the ultimate wingman for me cause having a 'main squeeze would lossen the stick in my ass'. And yes when he learned I liked guys too je figured it gave a large net...and no he was never successful he did not know my taste. Pretty much see a maybe single girl or boy and go right into 'oh what about that one?'not to mention how many times he used up my eye liner. Man he could piss me off and send me into unbridled rage...but he also was very important in my life. And it is always the bitter pill in all my life achievements to face the fact...he won't be there to see it. See me finally settle down, see me marry the love of my life, adopt my son even. I know he'd love to be there for that all."
What haven't I said on thier relationship? It's turly one of my favorite aspects to Richard despite ya know me killing his brother off xD Zane is very much the reason Richard did not end up loke his mother or father u_u Zane and Richard were like any brothers if not a bit different considering the environment they grew up in theu only really jad each other for support. As mentioned the reason Zane started to drink can be blame on thier father. It nit uncommon for alcohol to be present in a meeting and due to social pressures Xane couldn't be seen not accepting a drink from his host. Richard as known is a workaholic something he got from his father which is a form of addiction. Zane also got that just his addiction was alcohol. Zane had been dealing with the issue from the moment he was a teen and Thomas and Meldoy did not get him help. It would ruin thier family image if it was found out after all. Thomas just added to the drinking issue telling Zane to get over it. It's why Richard never forgiven his father and never could. And partly himself since his brother was always there for him he feels he should have done the same. Why makes sure to do different for Bailey ;3;
Send 🦯 for my muse to talk about their grandparents
"I never knew my own grandparents but I will say I love and adore Sue very much. In truth I would thank my being with Bailey thanks to Sue. She always made me feel included and seemed to champion me to pursue Bailey romanticly seeing how she often gave me hints into Baileys life letting me chip away at his own painted walls he kept up around me."
Richard dose very much see Sue as his grandma. And even credits his relationship with Bailey to her. Feeling Sue for some reason felt Richard was a good match for Bailey because of her being the one to mention things to him here and there at times that got Richard curious to ask Bailey about and helped bridge them closer into the more serious relationship they would have. Not to mention Sue was pretty quick to make Richard feel like he was part of the family and seeing hiw Richard was often made to feel he wasn't good enough for his own? I don't think Sue will ever fully understand her acceptance and inclusion touched the egeal which is why she has his highest respect. Bailey has to do a lot to get Richard to relax if Sue told Richard to rest? He do it no problem X'D
Send 🐾 for my muse to talk about (one of) their pet(s)
"I never had any growing up, my mother found them to be gross and likely to bring dirt into the house. Admittedly I thought my self not a pet person but then Bailey adopted Mocha and Carmeal....and my mind was quick to change. We have five cats technically. One at the cat café Bailey bought and I sell coffee through now as well. I'll admit I have come to spoil them making then speical drinks and I personal prepare meals for them over canned or dry food. Fresh is best."
Richard being a full blown cat dad is honestly the cutest thing to me xD which is funny I know when asked before I said I felt like if given the chance for a pet Richard would likely perfer a cat. I feel like Mocha and Carmeal are kind of his favorites of the bunch see how they are the one always seeming to be around him. I feel for his mental state as well. They have been become emotional support pets for the egeal. He dosent mind letting them lay over him or playing with them even when working. He has a soft spot for cats now thanks to these two.
Send 👶 for my muse to talk about (one of) their child(ren)
"I already stated I never thought I was a pet person I even mlre thought I could never be a father. I just worried about doing a poor job as a Dad because of my own parents. Worried I'd be just like them and I could never put a child through that. But then Buddy came into our lives. I never knew the attachment one could feel for a kid who had no DNA from you. I just couldn't imagine not having Buddy in my life once he was there. They are such a smart, sweet and caring kid and everyday I find my self just amazed at who Buddy is becoming. I want to set a God example for Buddy even if that means facing things I never wanted to, so I can be better. A better rope modle to my son. It's hard watching him grow up I'll admit. Missing my little duckling who followed me everywhere. But, I know Buddy will be okay I know Buddy is full of love from me and Bailey both. Knows they can try and spread thier wings and we will be there to catch Buddy if needed. That's what I hope Buddy knows most. That Buddy can fail and it's not the end of everything."
Richard's life turly became richer when he and Bailey decided to take I'm Buddy for their own. Buddy has been a way for Richard to heal his inner child because he tries not to repeat the mistakes of his own parents. He never wants Buddy to feel how he does. He wants Buddy to feel loved, safe, and secure. That's his main drive as a parent. As someone who wasn't allowed to fail je wants Buddy to see that just because he dose it isn't the end of the world they can get back up and try again as many times as needed even. Richard really is a doting father I feel. He brags about his son often, he even makes Buddy employee of the month all the time xD his café it'd allowed. Richard just knows he loves his son and he wants his son to have a good life so he tries to be as involved as possible make sure his presence is always there for his son. He might not be the most emotionally open but Richard can display his love in other ways and he just hopes he doing a good job.
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thewingedswine · 11 months
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Can I ask what it is about this fandom you find unfriendly? I've been feeling the same a little and I've been feeling alone in this.
Long winded rant, hold onto your buttcheeks.
I’m going to put this out there for anyone who feels afraid to say it, and that’s only because this particular fandom is the ONLY fandom I’ve ever experienced this with. I’m a big fan of marvel and dc, sci-fi and fantasy, I show dogs, I train dogs, I make leather goods, and those are all cutthroat communities with their own problems but I’ve never felt uncomfortable in any of those the way I am in this one,
So here goes; I hope this helps some of the people like me, who really love Avatar, but don’t like the fandom environment.
I think the biggest problem is with the NeteyamxOC pairing niche- which seems to be the biggest subcategory in the fandom.
I’ve seen in the comments sections of several Instagram and tumblr posts(Neteyam pictured or written with oc’s, mostly) where a bunch of mean-girl antagonist harpies will emotionally body each other and the OP and claim Neteyam as if no one else has a right to pair an OC with them?
UM EW? SO WEIRD AND CULTY. thank god none of that happened on any of my posts or I would’ve had to slam my head in a door.
then there are the purists, who reprimand you if you change the traits of any of their favorite characters or portray them in a way they don’t approve of- this has happened to me several times, which, fair, I suppose. I did something heinous with a character in my story(he gets a redemption arc later but that’s not the point. I should be able to write anything I want, and while I value free speech, it’s like? Why are you getting so mad? He’s a fictional character, just DNR my fic and move on to something you like better, it’s not that serious)
There’s also people reposting artwork that I spent a lot of money on and not crediting the artists, but I feel worse for the artists because you can have all the money in the world but you will never get your time back, and I feel like it’s fucked up that they aren’t at least getting the recognition they deserve on those posts that these stupid poopybutthole assdicks are making.
That could go for any fandom, but I think it’s worth mentioning.
Lastly, both my direct and indirect interactions with a select few people who are VERY prominent in the community have just… left a slightly bad taste in my mouth…? Like nothing explicitly bad happened and if you ask all three of them they will probably go “oh no, me and that person don’t have a problem!” But just… if those three incidents were translated into equivalent in person interactions, I would’ve felt extremely bullied. You could call that me being sensitive, or a number of other things, but that’s just plain how I feel.
It’s a shame because I looooove love love all the fics people write in every aspect and pairing of the fandom, and can recommend you so many amazing fics that were written so much better than mine by such fucking nice and pleasant and humble people tbh, I legit would lick the bottom of their shoes if they asked me politely enough
It’s just those few hundred OTHER people that have made this a bad experience for me🤣
So there that is, this place and some of the hostile NPCs that inhabit it make me feel like I either need to curl into a fetal position to mourn the loss of common sense on the internet, or step into a rage room and never come out,
And the more I think about it, the more I feel like stepping away is a good decision for me.
Maybe when I come back people’s buttholes will have loosened up and I can walk around in the bountiful fields of Avatar/NeteyamxOC fanfiction again like a floppy golden retriever puppy without having to look over my shoulder for a poacher with a sledgehammer, but until THAT day,
(But not before I’ve made my last 2-3 posts by the end of the week)
I’m peacing out, buh-bye😂💕
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magicbystarlight · 3 years
Text
Venomous - Part Three
Masterlist, Part One
Summary: A wife. A mother. A witch with someone else's name. That’s the life you didn’t want. So Tom offered you more.
Word Count: 2,801
Warnings: 18+, mentions of bruises. Minors DNI.
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The week following the incident was nerve racking. It had all been a set up. You waited each day to receive a letter or, worse, a howler from Mother shouting you were a disgrace. You waited to hear the whispers as you walked the halls. 
You waited and waited. 
The longer the days went without backlash, the more the paranoia grew. Your and Azar’s relationship had been strained over the years. He had difficulty living up to the family’s expectations of him while his sister—your mother and therefore you by extension—had not. A scandal would make his failings seem more trivial. If he was sitting on the information it meant he was waiting to use it at an opportune time. You wished he would end the torment sooner rather than later.
The only thing worse than the torturous wait was the man your uncle had used. He didn't try to talk to, he barely even spared a glance in your direction. Not that you were watching him, of course. 
You did catch him once, however. Thursday in the library while you studied the proper way to handle Venomous Tentacula and harvest their leaves Ralph McLaggen had thought it was the perfect time to take a seat and have a chat with you about Quidditch. One major downside to the time you had spent avoiding Tom—other than the massive amount of anxiety—had been some of the companions you had gained as you had grown increasingly desperate to keep company. 
Halfway through his hushed rant about the Holyhead Harpies, you’d looked up to Tom watching impassively between the shelves. It was brief. He'd turned on his heels moments later and disappeared into the stacks. Still, you had needed a cold shower that night to wash away the thoughts of him and what could have happened if you had followed.
Saturday rolled around again and your usual excitement for Hogsmeade trips was unable to shake the paranoid thoughts. In the Great Hall, pushing your eggs around, your friends' animated discussion about their plans for the day went mostly ignored. The only reason you would still be heading down to the village was that you were in desperate need of Honeydukes. 
“...said he’s going to ask you to take a stroll with him after lunch.” 
Your head snapped up. Abigail McCoy sat across from you with a knowing smile. “Who?” 
“Ralph! Merlin’s beard, were you listening to anything I just said?” Abigail rolled her eyes as your old friend shook her head, clearly annoyed at having to repeat herself. “I was talking to Ralph yesterday after his practice and he was telling me about your little library date the other night—" 
“That was not a date!”
“Whatever. He said that you seemed so nervous around him that you kept fidgeting and blushing and you barely talked. He thought it was so cute that he wants to, uh, spend more time with you. Just the two of you.” 
You groaned. Dealing with McLaggen’s unwanted advances on top of everything else. “I didn’t talk because he never shut up. He just kept going on and on about Quidditch.”
Larissa Corner nudged her side. “Come on. He’s cute and a Quidditch Captain.“
"And he’s a Pureblood,” Abigail added.
Neither of your best friends were Pureblood but Abigail was always intent on following traditions nonetheless. “So was Richard—and a Prefect!—but I didn't date him. And he wasn’t a misogynist! You should have heard some of McLaggen’s opinions on the Harpies! He thinks their Keeper looks ‘too manly’ to be on the team.” It was a good distraction, tearing apart the character of a man you were sure was only interested in you because he thought you’d be a quiet piece of arm candy. It took your mind off of impending doom. 
Their banter continued as you made your way to Hogsmeade, turning into Abigail’s play-by-play of all the Quidditch players who she deemed dreamboats. You shopped, laughed, and enjoyed your morning together. For the first time in months you felt normal. By time lunch rolled around, you were in a better mood.
"Hey, Selwyn!” 
Azar’s voice calling out to you in the crowded pub was a gut punch. He was seated alone at a large booth in the corner, waving you down. You could hear Larissa’s excited chatter beside you, reminding Abigail how attractive she thought he was. You didn’t move the two skipped towards the table. 
“Not going to join your friends?” The velvet voice in your ear was too recognizable. You'd dreamt of it every night for a week. 
“I’m not very hungry,” you said. It wasn’t a lie. 
His hand found the small of your back and pushed you towards the table. “You can still enjoy a chat.” 
You scoffed quietly, “A chat? That’s what you want to call your set ups, now?”
The smug satisfaction in his voice as he replied, “You enjoyed the last one,” was infuriating. As was your body’s betrayal of a reaction. It seemed your friends hadn’t noticed your absence as they sat in the booth with Azar, giggling like—well, like school girls. Of course, they’d sandwiched him between them on one side of the booth.
“Would you be so kind as to introduce me to your lovely friends?” Tom asked. With a polite but forced smile, you did. It wasn’t as if your friends didn't know who he was. Gods, who didn't? 
“Ladies first,” Tom said, gesturing towards the empty seat. He wanted to trap you or, at least, make it harder for you to run again. 
You weren't going to let him have the upper hand this time. “I prefer the edge. I get a tad claustrophobic."
“Of course,” he replied as his hand slipped off your back to grab your’s, lifting it for a soft kiss. He slid into the booth with an elegance even Mother would have been impressed with. The eyes of the other girls followed him before turning to you in silent question at the blatant familiarity. Larissa was the first to give up, shifting her attention back to Azar within seconds. Abigail took longer scrutinizing you before turning away. She'd always been too observant. There would be questions later. 
A round of Butterbeers were delivered to the table, Azar having ordered them before anyone else had arrived. "I had a feeling," he said with a shrug before taking a sip and resuming his flirtations with your friends. You knew better. This was another trap you'd stepped into. 
Condensation coated the tips of your fingers as they strummed against the chilled glass. What was their end goal this time? They could reveal your secret but what good would that do them here with your friends? Abigail wouldn't approve, but Larissa would be more upset that you hadn't told them. Even upset, though, they'd never say a word to anyone. So what was it? Intimidation? Gloating? Blackmail? 
You tried to ignore the presence beside you but you broke too easily, stealing a glance up at him. He watched with a bemused expression that had you crossing your legs and turning away with heated cheeks. Rowena save me, you thought. 
As if the world's twisted sense of humor wasn't done with you yet, McLaggen swaggered over. 
"There you are!" his grating voice called out. His cocky steps lagged as he took in the rest of the people sitting at the table. It was almost laughable to see his chest puff up as he took in Tom. Almost. McLaggen's athleticism was evident: he was taller, more muscular, sun tanned, with hair that had sun bleached streaks. He was a stark contrast to Tom who's pale complexion was heightened by his dark locks and equally dark eyes. But he was nowhere near as intimidating. Brawn without a brain. 
Without invitation, he plopped down in the empty space beside you, forcing you to decide rather quickly who the lesser of two evils was as the space was smaller than the person who had chosen to fill it. You refused to look at Tom again as your thigh pressed against his.
“I wasn’t aware you were looking for me.” 
McLaggen gave a lopsided smile. “When Abby told me you’d be here for lunch, I couldn’t miss the opportunity to see you again.” His stare wandered back to the Slytherin beside you. “Though if I had known there’d be such a large group, I would have asked you to Madam Fedipan’s.” The small, crowded tea shop was every couple's favorite haunt.
“I prefer Butterbeer over tea.” The clipped tone seemed to go straight over his head.
He leaned back in the booth. “Oh, they have more than just tea,” he said, resting his arm behind you. “The Profiteroles are divine.” 
The moment his hand plopped down on your shoulder, you flinched and gasped in pain. McLaggen removed his hand quickly, as if he had been shocked. 
Abigail scolded you across the table, “You still haven’t gone to Madam Urquart?” 
You couldn’t look at anyone, instead focusing on the frosted pint as you rubbed the tender spot. “I haven’t had the time,” you said. 
“You’re hurt?” McLaggen turned to you with a look of concern. 
“It’s just a bruise. A book fell on me at the library. It’s not a big deal.”
Abigail scoffed. “It wouldn’t be a big deal if you let anyone help you with it but you won’t even let me look at it.” 
A bruise in the exact shape and size of a human bite mark was bound to cause an unwanted conversation. It should have been easier to just cover it and let it heal naturally. But it left your shoulder sore and it seemed to be a magnetized target. Walnuts falling from trees, stale bread Peeves would throw at breakfast, poorly aimed spells in class. Anything that could possibly hit it, had. And as always, Abigail had noticed. “Abby, it’s fine. Just a little bruise.” Abigail looked unconvinced but didn’t argue. It would be another question she would save for when you were alone. McLaggen was easier to distract. “How’s Quidditch practice? Think you’ll be ready for the match next month?”
Lunch dragged. Your eyes never left your plate. Your friends were engrossed in conversation with your cousin while you were forced to suffer McLaggen’s egotistical tirade of Gryffindor’s superiority on the Quidditch pitch alone. He was oblivious to the insincerity behind all the expected niceties you added. He was equally oblivious to the hand resting on your knee
Tom was silent, a fact that only seemed to boost McLaggen’s confidence. 
“Maybe you could come to one of the practices. Maybe wear one of my old Quidditch jumpers.”
 “Oh, um, yeah. Maybe.” The regret set in as the words left your lips. It was a sign of ownership. A claim he wanted to lay. 
“Excellent!"
A headache of your own design began to press against your temple. There was no way you were going to wear anything of his or be anything of his. But it wasn't easy turning down a Pureblood. There were still expectations within the community of "dating" and marriage. Some families held more modern beliefs, thought dating as something young people could have fun with. Yours, however, thought dating was akin to an engagement. In either case, turning a nose to the advances of someone like Ralph McLaggen would be highly frowned upon.
The now empty pint of Butterbeer was still cool to the touch when you pressed it against your forehead. It didn't relieve any actual discomfort, but it created a convincing image
"Are you still feeling unwell?" Tom asked in mock concern, like he knew it was a charade.
McLaggen finally shut up as you rolled the glass from one side to the other. "I think I may need to go to the Hospital Wing." Abigail let out a disbelieving huff. You could not deal with listening to any of her observations just yet or anymore of Larissa's giggling. You loved them both, you truly truly did, but you needed a moment to breathe.
"I'll go with you," McLaggen offered, already sliding out of the booth. Tom's fingers dug into your knee. Not that you needed his warning.
A sweet smile pulled your face. "You should stay. Enjoy the day, keep Abby and Larissa company for me. Riddle's got to go babysit the First and Second Years anyways. Atonement for being Head Boy." With a roll of your eyes, you slid out beside him, gave a soft squeeze to his admittedly nice biceps, and fluttered your lashes. "I'll see you soon?" McLaggen was easy to please, so sure of himself. Ahh, to be a man with such misplaced confidence. 
"I don't remember telling you I had any patrols," Tom said as you left the village behind to climb the hill back to the castle.
"McLaggen would have come along if he thought I was choosing you over him."
A group of younger students walked down the path, presumably returning from lunch in the Great Hall, and Tom moved closer to let them pass. He didn't move away.
"But you did choose me over him."
"I didn't choose anyone." His arm brushed yours causing your breath to hitch.
"Really? If I recall correctly, you ran from me a week ago. Now you're willingly walking down this path alone with me. It seems very much like you did choose me." 
You were passing through one of the wooded parts of the path, the leaves covering the ground in an array of colors. “I chose the lesser of two evils. You’re not trying to get me to wear a stupid jumper.”
“It would certainly be an evil for you to wear one of those gaudy red things,” he said, snaking an arm around your waist and pulling you against him. “You look better in green.”
His lips caught yours in surprise, soft and tender as he cupped your face. It was the kind of kiss that left you weightless and tipsy. The kind of kiss girls dream of to be their first. While it wasn’t your first kiss—that had gone to Amos Diggory in a game of spin the bottle the year prior—it was your first with Tom. A perfectly sweet first kiss.
He’d had you withering beneath his fingers before he had even kissed you.
He wasn’t expecting the Knockback Jinx that threw him several feet away, barely managing to land on his knees instead of his face. “What the fuck are you playing at?” you asked, wand raised.
He pushed off the ground and dusted himself off, his own wand slipping into his hand. “I can assure you, I am not playing anything.” He was quick with a Shield Charm, another hex bouncing off it.
“No? So I just imagined the chess pieces Azar left for me? I’m not stupid, Tom. Naive, sure, but not stupid. I can recognize a fucking metaphor.” Another hex blocked. “Whatever he promised you or offered you or if you’re just tormenting me for fun, I really don’t care but I won’t be a pawn for you to mess with!”
He straightened his robe, running his hand through his hair that annoyingly managed to still look perfectly tousled. “Azar has nothing to do with my interest in you.”
Did he only speak in riddles? Frustration in varying forms swirled together, exasperating the pounding in your head. "What is your interest in me? Before Slughorn's stupid party I didn't even exist to you. Four and a half years I was a bloody nobody. Why now? Why me?" 
"Because when you walked into the room that night, you broke tradition. I could see it in you, the thirst for more in life than the role assigned. You want knowledge and the power that comes with it. It makes us the same.”
You watched as he took confident steps towards you despite your wand still being pointed at him. 
"Together, you and I could be powerful."
Closer and closer.
"Be mine and I can give you what you crave: freedom, choice, knowledge."
His chest pressed against the tip of your wand.
“Think of all the things we could explore.”
His hand came to your face, fingers tracing a path across your cheek.
“A girl like you isn’t meant for the life of a pawn. You are the most powerful piece on the board.”
This time, the Shield Charm he cast could not protect him. His wand flew out of his hands as black ropes shot from your's. They coiled around him and dragged him to the nearest tree. When he opened his mouth, no sound came out. Flared nostrils and wide, ferocious eyes made him look feral as he struggled against the ropes. 
“Consider this a checkmate, my Lord.”
Next Part
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homoose · 3 years
Text
Love Has a Learning Curve: Part VII (x reader)
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Summary: Reader tries to make things right, with a little push from her mama.
Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader
Category: hurt/comfort
Warnings/Includes: none
a/n: I know, I know— please just let our babies be happy ♥️ and so it was. Also, big ups to my tumblr gf @idmakeitbehave​ for being my beta the past two chapters.
Series Masterlist
———
One week.
That’s how long it had been since their argument. Spencer had driven back to his apartment in silence, absolutely stunned by the way things had blown up.
They’d gotten back from the case in Utah on the fifth of January, and he’d driven straight to Y/N’s, ready to give her a belated New Year’s kiss. Immediately upon entering her apartment, he knew something was wrong. Her hug was stiff, her kiss brief, her eye contact minimal. He’d spent the night, but they barely touched, and she left early for work without waking him. He’d let himself out and texted her later in the day to invite her over for dinner.
Dinner hadn’t been any less awkward, and when he felt awkward, he knew it was bad. He finally couldn’t ignore it any longer, and he’d called it out. He had expected some resistance, but he hadn’t expected that. Y/N never spoke to him with any malice at all, even when he was actually doing something that irritated her. She was the queen of healthy communication. So for her to speak to him like that meant that the underlying issue was much, much worse than he’d originally thought.
He’d gone over their conversations a thousand times, looking desperately for the moment that it went wrong. After some deep consideration, he was certain that something had happened on New Year’s Eve. He just wasn’t sure what. Y/N was insistent that she wasn’t bothered by the declined call, but he still wished he could go back in time and answer it. He was pretty sure the seeds of their argument had sprouted in that moment, regardless of what she said.
Spencer knew she was a creature of habit, and that sometimes she needed space to process and experience her emotions. And if he was being honest, he needed some space after the argument, too. But usually she would have at least texted him by now.
He sighed and set down his newspaper, realizing he’d read the same page four times and hadn’t retained any of it. It was Friday, and he knew she was working. But still his fingers itched to dial her number. He picked up the phone, pressing a key to light up the screen yet again.
No new messages.
He dropped the phone back to the table with a little more force than was necessary. He decided he’d give her the rest of the weekend. If he didn’t hear from her by Sunday, he’d have to do something.
Y/N dropped her bag on the floor inside the door and turned to lock the deadbolt. She had managed to sneak out of the building without being stopped by Anita, and she thanked the universe for small miracles.
She didn’t want to have to explain herself. She didn’t want anyone to know what an absolute troll she’d been. Considering that Sam and Spencer had practically become attached at the hip since they’d started hanging out more, Anita was bound to ask about him.
She showered and ordered Thai food, snuggling down on the couch to watch a movie with Roald. She settled on Dumplin’— a favorite for the body positivity, the southern drawls, and the Dolly Parton drag.
And then she came to the argument outside of Harpy’s and lost what little emotional stability she had left.
“Never took you for the type that cares much what people think.”
“I can’t, Bo. And that might make me a coward, but—”
“It does. Willowdean Dixon, I think you’re beautiful. To hell with anyone who’s ever made you feel less than that.”
She didn’t realize she was crying until Roald meowed in distress. She choked out a sob and stroked over his ears, closing her eyes in defeat. “I really fucked this up, huh?”
It had only been one week, but it felt like years since Spencer walked out of her apartment. She’d stayed in bed for the entire weekend, crying on and off. She knew she had no one to blame but herself. Owen had knocked over the first domino, but she’d done nothing to stop the rest from falling.
Spencer had done everything right. He’d done everything she asked, and she’d thrown it all back in his face. He had made the comparison to Mitchell Park, and he was absolutely right. She’d done the exact same thing, only she had almost a year’s worth of ammunition, and she cut a hell of a lot deeper.
Roald nuzzled against her, but she nudged him away— she didn’t even deserve the comfort. Instead, she fumbled in the couch cushions for her phone, swiping open the screen and tapping her favorites list, thumb hovering over Spencer’s name. Then she tapped on the name right above it and blew out a breath.
The line connected and rang three times before she picked up. “Hey, sugar! Your ears must be ringin’, ‘cause I was just thinkin’ about callin’ you.”
“Hey, mama,” Y/N breathed.
Her mother’s tone changed from chipper to concerned in an instant. “What’s wrong, baby?”
She leaned forward to the coffee table to grab Spencer’s scarf— somehow left behind in her apartment— rubbing it between her fingers. “I— I really messed up.”
“Oh, Lord. You need bail money?”
Despite herself, Y/N laughed wetly. “Oh my god , mama. No, I don’t need bail money.”
“Well, if you made bail it can’t be that bad,” Rose insisted.
“I didn’t— I’m not in jail, for Christ’s sake.” Y/N ran a hand over her face. “I messed things up with Spencer.”
“Well, we can fix that,” Rose responded matter of factly. “What happened?”
“We were fighting, and I said some really, really awful things,” Y/N admitted, tears spilling over her lash line.
Rose scoffed. “Honey, I say awful things to your father all the time, and we’ve been married almost 40 years.”
Y/N heaved a long sigh. “Not like this, mama.”
Her mother hummed in consideration. “Well, what were y’all fightin’ about?”
“It’s complicated,” Y/N hedged, toying with the fringe of the scarf.
Rose clicked her tongue. “Do ya want my help or not?”
Y/N dropped her head back against the couch. “I ran into Owen on New Year’s Eve—”
“Well, I hope you told him to stick it where the sun don’t shine,” Rose practically growled.
Y/N closed her eyes as the tears tracked hot down her cheeks. “I didn’t. I— I let him get under my skin, and then I didn’t want to tell Spencer about it because it’s embarrassing, but he knew something was wrong, and he wouldn’t stop asking about it.” She had to pause and suck in a hiccuping breath, releasing it on a sob. “So I yelled at him and said all kinds of terrible things, and then he left, and now I think maybe we broke up, and I’ve literally never been so sad in my whole life.”
There was a long pause on the other end of the phone, and then she heard Rose sniffling. “Really shoulda had your brothers knock the mess out of that son of bitch when we had the chance. He's been gone five years, and he’s still hurtin’ you every chance he gets.”
Y/N swiped uselessly at the tear tracks on her cheeks, sniffling pathetically. “And now I hurt the person who’s spent the last year singlehandedly undoing all of his awful handiwork.”
“Oh, sweetheart,” Rose cooed. Y/N could hear the creak of the floorboards as her mother walked through her childhood home. “You said he knew somethin’ was wrong, right? I can almost guarantee that he’s still just wonderin’ what’s goin’ on. I know he’s supposed to be a genius, but he’s still a man. And men are dumb, sugar. You gotta spell it out for ‘em. Have you talked to him since?”
“No.” Fresh tears spilled over Y/N’s lashes as the thoughts that had kept her from calling him spilled out of her mouth. “What if it was too far? What if I ruined everything? What if he never wants to speak to me again?”
Ross heaved out a long breath. “That’s a lot of what ifs, Y/N.”
“What if I’m right?” she whispered.
“And what if you’re not?” Rose countered. “That boy loves you. Anyone could see that, clear as day. He’d do just about anything for you.” Rose paused, and Y/N heard the springs of the bed squeak as she sat. “But you gotta let him, sweetheart. Right now you’re takin’ away his chance to do that. You’re makin’ the decision for him.”
Y/N listened as her mother’s advice crackled over the line, and for the first time in a week, she felt a tiny sliver of hope.
“If he doesn’t want to be with you anymore, you need to let him tell you that. Don’t settle for a what if. Find out for sure, or you're gonna spend the rest of your life worryin’ and wonderin’, sugar.”
That evening found Spencer in his usual spot on the couch, reclined against the arm with a book in hand. He’d promised himself he’d give Y/N the weekend to herself— that he’d let her come to him. That didn’t stop him from checking his phone obsessively; it never buzzed with any new calls or messages, but he still looked every seven minutes.
The sound of the buzzer jolted his body to attention. He checked his watch and drew his brows together before closing his book and scrambling to cross to the intercom, a tiny seed of hope beginning to germinate. He pressed the button to talk, calling, “Yes?” into the speaker box and then listening for the response.
“Hi.”
Her voice was so quiet that he could barely hear it over the crackle of the speaker. He buzzed her in without hesitation, crossing to the door and opening it immediately. She made her way slowly up the stairs, turning at the top of the landing and pausing.
His heart broke at the sight of her. She looked utterly exhausted, dressed in black sweatpants and a soft purple sweater, a black puffer jacket over top. She was holding his scarf, wringing it in between her hands. Her eyes were ringed red, and the bags under them were worse than his.
He watched as she crossed the landing, coming to stand quietly in front of him. He’d known something was wrong, but the way she looked now made him wonder just how long she’d been battling whatever private demons she wouldn’t let him in on.
“I, um.” She cleared her throat, and it was clear she’d been crying from the thickness of her voice. “I have a lot to say— again. But since I was such an asshole, I wanted to give you the opportunity to say anything you need to say first.”
He’d imagined this conversation countless times over the last week, and never once had he thought it would start like this. “Um. Well. You— you really hurt me.”
She could barely look at him. “I know.”
He swallowed. “Please don’t do that again.”
She shook her head, finally meeting his eyes. “I won’t. I won’t ever again.”
Spencer tucked his hands into the pockets of his lounge pants. “I know I may not be the best at social cues, but I’m a pretty good profiler. And I can tell when something’s wrong.” He raised his eyebrows. “You don’t have to tell me everything. I’m just asking you to tell me when I do something that makes you upset.”
“You— you didn’t do anything wrong. I—” He watched her squeeze her eyes shut. “God, I’m so sorry, Spencer. I’m just— I’m sorry for so many things. For lying about being fine, for being up on my high horse about communicating and then not actually doing it, for being an absolute bitch.”
He wanted to argue— she wasn’t a bitch— but he could tell she was far from done.
“I— I thought therapy was supposed to teach me how to talk about things, but this still feels… impossible to say out loud,” she admitted, fingers fumbling with the fabric of the scarf. “It’s embarrassing and ridiculous. But I— I have deep-seated insecurities. That I’m not really that smart or interesting or particularly special.”
He thought back to that night in Mitchell Park and felt the guilt all over again. He’d practically said those exact words to her— it was no wonder she was feeling this way.
“And every person that I’ve ever been with has— really reinforced those ideas, so for a long time they were just… a set part of my self-image,” she explained, dragging a hand over her messy hair. “I thought— I thought that I was over it, but I— I don’t know. Maybe you never really are.”
His brain sorted through every moment of their year together, pinging off the countless examples of her self-doubt and insecurity. She was easily the most wonderful person he knew, but he could clearly see the cracks in the facade if he looked close enough. How had he missed it for so long?
“And then I met you, and you…” Y/N let out a wry laugh. “You’re easily the most interesting person I’ve ever met, but you made me feel like… I don’t know, like I’m interesting, too. Like I’m worthy of being with you, like I’m— like I’m good enough.”
He felt his heart splintering into a thousand tiny shards— good enough?
“But I can’t— I still have a hard time believing it sometimes. And I— I’ve been letting myself keep you at arms length. Letting you see parts of me, but… never giving you everything,” she admitted.
He watched her struggle to get the words out, her voice thick with the act of holding back sobs. He hadn’t realized she was carrying all of this. She was so good at supporting him and loving him through all of his trauma and issues, he hadn’t stopped to consider just how much she needed him, too.
She continued, “It’s why I took so long to say I love you… why I couldn’t talk to you last week. Because I just—” She shrugged as the tears rolled down her cheeks. “I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. For you to realize that I’m really nothing special. That you’re getting bored, or there’s someone who’s a better fit for you, or one million other things. That I’m needy, and annoying, and too much work.”
A fresh tear tracked down her cheek, and he felt his own eyes filling. She never failed to put a stop to his own insecurities— reminding him that she liked his rambling, that he wasn’t irritating, that he was just the right amount. In his eyes, she was perfect. He would have never guessed she felt this way about herself.
She continued, “That’s what happened before, and none of those guys were even half as wonderful as you are.” She swiped a hand haphazardly over her cheeks, looking at him sheepishly. “And then I was hurtful and awful, and I realized that I was just creating a self fulfilling prophecy and I don’t— I don’t want to do that.”
Her hand shook a little as she brought it back down to twist in his scarf. “Because it’s never— I’ve never felt like this. I've never been this happy with anyone else, and I don’t want to give that up. I don’t want to give you up. Even if sometimes I feel like I’ll never be enough.”
Her voice cracked on a stifled cry, and his chest physically ached. “And if you never want to see me again, I completely understand, and I’ll leave you alone, but I— I’m just so sorry. And I love you so much, and I’m trying so hard to be better.” She sucked in a ragged breath and let it out on an exhausted sigh. “And that’s, um— that’s it. If you want me to go, I—”
“I don’t want you to go,” he interrupted.
Her eyes went wide. “You don’t?”
“Of course not.” Spencer stepped forward and reached for her. “Of course not. C’mere.”
As soon as the words left his mouth, she was tumbling into his arms with a choked off sob. He pulled her inside and closed the door behind them, walking her to the couch and sitting them both down. She clung to him like she was afraid he’d disappear into thin air.
“Y/N, I’m right here,” he assured her. “I’m right here, baby. I’m not going anywhere.”
“But if you n-need space, I understand,” she sobbed.
“I appreciate the offer, but I don’t need space. I think a week was long enough, don’t you?” he asked, pressing a kiss into her hair.
She pulled back out of the hug, head down. “But I really hurt you.”
He held her hand. “Yeah. And I really hurt you, too.”
She huffed out a breath. “That’s not how this works. I don’t get to hurt you just because you hurt me.”
“I know that.” He almost laughed at how indignant she sounded. “I’m not saying that we should hurt each other. I’m saying that sometimes it happens. And when it does, we apologize, and we forgive, and we move forward. And it’s okay if you need space. But I don’t.”
“What if you change your mind?” she whispered.
“Then I promise I’ll tell you.” Spencer tilted her chin up so he could meet her eyes. “I promise I’ll tell you what I need, as long as you tell me, too. We’ve gotta use all those communication skills we learn in therapy.”
Y/N nodded, and he pulled her into another hug. He closed his eyes, letting out a sigh of relief. “If I hadn’t heard from you by Sunday, I was planning to bother you until you talked to me.”
He could feel the beginning of a smile turning up the corner of her mouth where it was pressed to his shoulder. “You never bother me,” she mumbled. She held him for a moment longer and then released him from the hug and sat back, fidgeting with her hands and letting out a breath.
“Sometimes I need to be told that my worst fears about myself aren’t true,” she admitted. “I know that’s so annoying, but—”
“It’s not annoying,” he interrupted, putting an immediate stop to that line of thought. “Telling you how amazing you are isn’t the chore that you think it is. I’m sorry that anyone ever convinced you that it was.”
He covered her hands with his own, rubbing his thumbs softly along her skin. He couldn’t stop thinking about her dealing with all of this by herself. He hated that she’d ever felt anything less than adored. More than anything, he hated that he hadn’t been able to help her through it. And he wanted to make sure that he never made that mistake again.
“A wise man told me once... that love is helping someone navigate their storms,” he murmured, squeezing her hand. She looked at him then, and he continued, “You’ve been my lighthouse for a long time, Y/N. And I— I’m trying desperately to be yours… But you have to let me.”
Her eyes filled with fresh tears, but she nodded. He let out a long breath and pulled her hands into his lap. “I understand that sometimes you need space, and that’s fine. I’m happy to give you whatever you need.”
He shook his head. “Just— please don’t try to weather the storm by yourself. You can’t do it all alone; no one can.” He smiled ruefully. “I can tell you from experience that’s pretty much a guaranteed way to capsize your boat.”
His voice cracked a little at the end, and he felt a tear slip over his lash line. “I’ll help you repair your boat, or build a new one, or you can just float on mine for a while. It’s not perfect but it’s pretty sturdy, I think.”
She brought her fingers up to brush at his damp cheeks, and he met her eyes. “What I’m not going to do is let you float out on the ocean by yourself. I love you too much.”
She was quiet for a long moment, sniffling a little and just watching him— almost like she couldn’t believe he was there. She brought her hand back to his and laced their fingers together, rubbing her thumb along his skin. “I love you the most.”
“Agree to disagree.” He gave her a small smile and leaned forward to press his lips to her forehead. “Want some tea?”
She was frowning when he pulled back, her brows drawn together. “I need to tell you about Owen.”
The conversation he’d had with Anita was suddenly on replay in Spencer’s head.
… a real piece of shit… telling her lies about herself… isolating her… destroying her from the inside out...
He squeezed her hand. “You don’t have to tell me if you’re not ready. You don’t have to tell me at all if you don’t want to.”
She shook her head. “Talking about him takes away his power. I have to stop letting him have so much sway over my emotions.” She looked at him then. “I do things I regret and hurt people I love.”
He brought their joined hands up his lips. “Well, I’m here either way. And I’m still going to make you some tea.”
He stood and pulled her up with him, bringing her into the kitchen and refusing to let go of her hand. He filled the kettle and turned it on, found a bag of her favorite tea and ripped it open with his teeth. He dropped the bag into her favorite mug, and then made a mug up for himself.
“You know, it’d be a lot easier if you’d let go,” she said, the hint of a smile in her voice.
“Mhm,” he agreed, but he made no move to release her hand. In fact, once he’d fumbled a spoonful of honey into each of the cups, he dropped the spoon into her mug and turned to pull her into another hug. He hooked his chin over her shoulder and closed his eyes as she brought her arms around his waist. “I missed you,” he whispered.
She squeezed him tight. “I missed you, too. I’m so sorry.”
She buried her face in his neck, and he felt her breathe him in. He pressed a kiss into her shoulder and then settled his chin again. “Apology accepted, in case it wasn’t clear.”
They stood like that until the kettle began to whistle, and then Spencer kept her tucked underneath his arm as he turned to shut it off and pour the water into the mugs. They each grabbed a mug, making their way back to the couch and setting them on the coffee table to steep. Spencer kept their fingers intertwined and stayed quiet, letting her set the pace of the conversation.
Y/N took a deep breath and let it out on a long sigh. “I guess I should start at the beginning. I, um— I had my first boyfriend in high-school: Cal Cunningham. He was older and cooler, and so I felt— I don’t know… special when he picked me.” She rolled her eyes. “In reality, he was rude, and arrogant, and kind of a misogynist. We didn’t date for very long, but it kind of… set me up on this path of dating guys who weren’t very nice.”
Spencer ran his thumb soothingly along hers, waiting for her to continue. “When I started college, I dated this guy Adam for a few months. He was nice enough but really self-centered and a little immature. When we broke up I just wanted to be on my own for a while.”
“I was single for two years after that, just kind of… finding myself and whatever.” Her eyes tracked the path his thumb traced along her skin. “So when I started dating Owen at the end of junior year, it felt like my first real relationship. Like— we were both adults, and he dressed up for our dates, and he paid for things and bought me flowers and fit all the cliches.”
“And it was great at first,” she admitted. “We had a lot of the same friends, so we’d been hanging out for a while before we got together. He was a perfect gentleman— and smart, accomplished, and ambitious. I fell fast, and I fell hard, and we were sort of— it feels so stupid to say this, but it felt like we were an it couple.”
“A few of us made plans to move to DC after graduation— my friend Jess and her boyfriend Chris, Sam and Anita,” she explained. “And Owen and I, obviously. We moved in together in an apartment downtown. And that’s when everything changed.”
She drew her brows together. “It was little things at first. Like he’d jokingly call me stupid for forgetting something, or he’d complain about one of my friends being annoying. But it snowballed pretty quickly. He’d tell me I was stupid, and he wasn’t joking. All of my friends irritated him to the point where we couldn’t hang out anymore— even our former mutual friends. He thought that teaching kindergarten was a mindless, pointless job.”
Spencer tried to keep his heart rate steady, his facial expressions neutral, but his blood pressure was on the rise. No one deserved to be spoken to like that, least of all Y/N.
She continued, “We spent the holidays at my parents’ the second year we were dating, and he spent the entire car ride home explaining, in detail, how ridiculous and low-class he thought everything was.”
She shook her head and rubbed her free hand over her face. “I know it’s insane that I stayed with him for five years, but I— he did a really good job of convincing me that I was... that I was nothing. That he was doing me a favor by loving me. That he could have anyone, but he chose me. No one else was going to, so I should be grateful.”
He balled his free hand into a fist to avoid squeezing her to death. When Anita had said Owen was a piece of shit… he hadn’t realized just how deeply she meant it.
She picked at the fabric of her sweatpants, staring intently at the tiny pills. “When someone says all of that to you on a daily basis, and you’re not hearing otherwise from anyone else— because no one knew what was going on— when someone tells you you’re nothing… you start to believe it.”
Spencer relaxed his fist to bring his fingers up to her face, gently cupping her cheek. She leaned into his touch and closed her eyes for a long moment. He didn’t know what to say. Instead, he pressed his lips to her forehead in a voiceless assurance that she was, in fact, everything. He felt her relax under the warm pressure of his lips, and he hoped that was enough for now.
He sat back to let her continue. “We were together for five years, and we only broke up because he cheated on me. It was a long term affair; they were sleeping together for almost a year before I found out. And… a lot of people knew. Almost all of his friends knew. But I didn’t. I was still being this ridiculous, desperate little Suzy Homemaker trying to make him happy, even though he was still treating me like shit.”
She laughed, but there wasn’t an ounce of humor in it. “When I found out, I wasn’t even hurt. I was… embarrassed, I guess. But I was so relieved. I was so fucking relieved that I had a way out.”
He watched as her shoulders settled, almost like an actual weight had been lifted off of them. “I got a therapist and dropped all of the friends that were still hanging around with him. I moved to a new neighborhood, started hanging out with Anita and Sam, and just— started fresh. And I was doing really well. I’ve had my moments of insecurity here and there, but for the most part, I’ve been able to recognize the moments when I’m falling back into old thought patterns.”
She looked at him then, and her eyes were so soft and lovely that his heart ached. “You’re a big reason for that. You’re so open with how you feel about me, and… it makes things a lot easier.” She dropped her gaze with a sigh. “But I— he was at the party on New Year's. And I didn’t know he was going to be there until I was already there , and then it felt stupid to leave. I thought I could handle it—”
“And then I didn’t answer your call.”
“No, no .” She shook her head and reached her free hand out to grasp his arm. “That’s— Spencer, none of this is your fault.” She furrowed her brow, and the crease between them was practically an abyss. “He sort of— cornered me on the patio. I hadn’t seen him in like, four years? And he was complimenting me, and asking about you, and then he tried to— well, he did kiss me actually. I shoved him off, and he didn’t like that, and he did his whole Owen thing. Told me that he’d cheated because I was uninteresting and worthless. That eventually you’d get bored of me, too. Just, um— generally awful shit.”
She took a deep breath, and the rest steamrolled off her tongue and over his heart. “And then he just— left . And he’d absolutely demolished my self-image in less than ten minutes, and I was embarrassed and angry at myself, and then you didn’t answer, but I was kind of glad you didn’t because I didn’t actually want to talk about it. And I thought I could just move on, but then I was being weird, and you knew something was wrong. And I just wanted to pretend like it never happened, but then you kept pressing me on it, and I just— I didn’t want to have to explain it all to you because I was afraid that— that maybe he was right.”
Y/N dissolved back into the couch, an unwelcome indication of the emotional exhaustion that came with reliving trauma. Spencer moved closer and mirrored the position of her body against the cushions, bringing his face close enough to bump their noses together. They breathed the same air for one noiseless minute before she finally met his eyes.
“I need you to understand that not one single thing he said to you— on New Year’s or ever— was right, in either sense of the word. None of it was factual, and none of it was acceptable.”
She gave him a weary nod, and he continued, “You are the single best person that I know. You’re kind, brilliant, and driven. You’re interesting, and wonderful, and lovely. You’re my absolute favorite person on the planet, and I will never get bored of you.”
He let his eyes trace over all the angles and curves of her face, and then raised his eyebrows. “He’s lucky that I respect you enough not to go over your head, because what I’d like to do is run a full background check and find any and every possible transgression that could be legally investigated and then use that information to ruin his life.” He tilted his head in thought. “That or— get really jacked and then beat the shit out of him.”
“God, please don’t. As much as I’d love to watch that unfold,” she cupped his face in her hand, “you’re better than that. And he’s not worth either of our energies… I already wasted enough time dwelling on it and hurt you in the process.” She dropped her hand back to her lap with a sigh. “I spent so much time in that relationship that my brain didn’t know what to do with this good, healthy one.”
He took both of her hands in his, squeezing them tight and then pressing a kiss to the back of each. He wouldn’t commit assault, since she’d asked him not to. But he wasn’t going to let Owen taint any part of his life with her.
“I’m so sorry that someone you loved made you think it was hard to love you. Because loving you is the easiest thing I’ve ever done.” He pressed his lips together and mused, “But I think maybe love has a learning curve. Especially when you’re used to being hurt. You have to unlearn all the bullshit. People will have you thinking that you have to water yourself down, or change who you are, or make yourself more palatable. I thought that, too.”
He brushed her hair back away from her face and waited for her to meet his eyes. “And then I met you. And you love all of it— all of me. All the rambling, all the quirks, and— even the dark parts, too.”
She sniffled a little, but really smiled for the first time that night. “What’s not to love about you?”
He smiled back. “I’m not sure if you realize that I fully reciprocate that feeling. What’s not to love about you? I have a hard time thinking of even one thing about you that I don’t absolutely adore.”
“Even when I act like a horrid bitch?” she mumbled, only half joking.
He leaned his head against the couch cushion. “A year ago, you stood on my doorstep and gave me forgiveness— after I’d been a complete asshole to you... I told you then that I wanted to learn how to love with you. I still do. In all the wonderful, and the weird, and the terrible. Even when we get it wrong.”
He shrugged, and then ran a soft fingertip down the bridge of her nose. “There is no one else I’d rather get it wrong with. Because when we get it right… it’s the closest I’ve ever felt to magic.”
Her eyes sparkled with unshed tears, and she brought both hands up to his face, holding him with an adoration that made his own eyes burn. “You can believe that you love me the most,” she whispered, “but just know that you’re wrong.”
He leaned forward to close the distance between them, pressing a kiss to her lips with a reverence that felt technicolor and devout and more magical than any trick he’d ever mastered.
“Agree to disagree.”
———
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raeuberprinzessin · 3 years
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Making Amends - Gremlin - Prompt 6, Chapter 2
@felixmonth
Summary: For Felix Month 2021 - beware, the chapters are not in chronological order^^
When Felix loses a bet with his cousin, he has to make amends with Adrien’s friends. Well, at least this provides a good excuse to spent a lot of time with Adrien’s “very good friend”, a certain designer, who may or may not be described as tolerable … or cute.
This may not be so bad.
Yeah, not bad at all.
AO3 | Masterlist
Prompts: First | Previous | Next
Chapters: First | Previous | Next
Felix had absolutely underestimated how unbearably exhausting these people were!
It was Monday and his bet had been off to a good start, because not only was Marinette truly not at school, but Adrien’s best friend, the DJ, was sick and had stayed home. So, all he had to do in his role as Adrien was express his worry and offer to give him his notes and tell him what they had to do for homework. Since his cousin and his friend shared a desk he even had an opportunity to offer the seat to “Felix” for the day, since it was his first day. It was absolutely in character for Adrien and it would allow him to stop his cousin from doing anything to tip the others off.
Unfortunately, the girl his cousin had not a lot to say about had seized on the chance to sit in Marinette’s seat for the day, which was right behind him. And for heaven’s sake, his cousin had not prepared him for how incredibly insufferably this girl, not, this harpy was!
First of all, her voice! How did she speak with such a shrill pitch all the time? And he really meant all the time! This Lila person was blabbing about some self-insert delusion. All. The. Time. He had read some bad stories in his life, but none of them had given him a headache like this girl did within the first lesson.
It only got worse from there on. Sure, he had enjoyed the short amusement provided by his new classmates when they had threatened “Felix” to never do something like he did at his last visit again. The reporter had to be the most aggressive. She had been one of the girls that had gotten akumatized. Over a mean video. Just how insecure were these people? Especially if they were worried about their friend, they shouldn’t get this offended over a negative reaction on a day that was already hard for him. Yes, he had planned to prank Adrien, partly because he just had no spine to stand up against his father, but mostly because he needed some chaos as a distraction to get the rings. He had a good reason.
Still, this bit of fun was not enough, because not only did his role force him to defend “Felix” from the angry class, but the hare-brained blabbermouth poked him during the whole lesson and that daft teacher only smiled at them. And as soon as they could leave for lunch she clutched his arm in a deathgrip. He feared he would lose his limb to this!
And the worst thing of all was that he had to play Adrien. Sweet, sunshiney, naive, foolish Adrien. The guy who would never defend himself against anyone, not against his abusive father nor against a girl with serious issues with the concept of personal space. The only thing this day accomplished was to awaken a certain sympathy for Adrien. Now he wanted to win this bet even more, just to get Adrien to rebel at least a bit. His cousin was an idiot, but he was his cousin and he would be damned if he left him in this toxic situation.
“Please tell me, someone threw Rossi out the window at least once, if not, I volunteer! She is worse than Chloe! I didn’t think this was possible! Isn’t there some law of nature against this? Gabriel is still the worst, but he had decades of practice to be this terrible and she is still almost as bad!” he groaned when they were alone in the boys bathroom.
“Come on, they’re not that bad.” Of course, Adrien would defend the nuisance. Only the tiny smirk didn’t really fit his face. Was he laughing at him? Somehow Felix felt as if Adrien was enjoying his aggravation. But that couldn’t be, right? Not mild-mannered Adrien. Right?
“Oh please! Chloe is whiny and clingy, but at least she actually has good stories, not some self-insert pipe-dreams!”
“Ah, so, you figured it out?” Adrien sounded a bit hesitant and subdued.
“What? That her stories aren’t worth the oxygen she wastes telling them? Really, thinking I would believe them even for one second is an insult to my intelligence,” Felix scoffed. He checked his look in the mirror and carefully placed a strand of hair that wasn’t exactly in the right place. Then he turned to Adrien and straightened out his clothes. He would not allow him as Felix to be seen in any state other than impeccable.
“You can’t tell anyone. I mean it! Lila tells lies, but only, because she wants friends. I can understand that. If no one wants to be her friend, because you expose her, she’ll get akumatized.”
He gave his cousin a deadpan look. “Ok, that’s a lot to unpack there. First of all: I don’t care that she lies, just that her stories are awful! Her lies? They are her problem. And if your classmates are foolish enough to fall for that, that's their problem. Lies are like sand, looks nice at the beach but is a terrible foundation to build anything on. So, if she wants friends, she’s doing it wrong. Exposing her would be showing kindness and I’m not known to be kind.”
“And I did some reading on akumas since my last visit and as I see it, people get akumatized over the stupidest things. I read somewhere that a kid who had nightmares got akumatized over them. Your own father happily antagonizes people left and right, it’s like dear uncle Gabriel wants them to become akumatized. And it seems as if most of the akumas at this school were caused by Chloe, your childhood friend. And I believe I know you well enough to assume you didn’t give her a lecture like that. You can’t keep everyone in Paris happy,” he continued scoffing at his cousin's hypocrisy.
“Somewhere there will be someone experiencing negative emotions. If there’s no akuma, it’s because Hawk Moth is busy with something else, not because everyone is happy. Not even a villain can stop sleeping and eating to sit in their lair and spend all their time villaining. If Rossi doesn’t get akumatized, someone else will. But don’t worry, I won’t waste my time exposing her,” he finished rolling his eyes slightly and shrugging. It wasn’t really his problem.
Felix had watched Adrien closely during his rant and he was almost sure that some of his words had made the other boy think about something, but he still seemed far too relieved when he told him he wouldn’t expose her, so he gave him a malicious grin. “It’s not like I care about her, the class or any of their feelings. But her mother actually works for the italian embassy?” Adrien nodded hesitantly. “Good. The grandmother of a very dear friend of mine has excellent connections to the italian government. If she turns out to become too much of an annoyance, I’ll get her mother reassigned to another country.”
“What? What friend? You can’t do that!”
“I can and I will, dear cousin. The only reason I’m not messaging them right now is that they will be a bit more hesitant to use their influence. I would have to convince them first.” Obviously, otherwise Marinette wouldn’t have let it get this bad. But he knew that she was very aware of the consequences her actions had. He knew that she had been in a class with Chloe for most of her school years and Chloe liked to throw her weight around. Marinette didn’t want to be like that, she had told him so herself. She wasn’t the kind of person who would abuse their power, not even for themselves.
“And if she’s not here, she can’t get akumatized. Shouldn’t you be happy about that?” Adrien still didn’t seem convinced.
“And whom are you talking about? I thought you don’t need friends?”
“I’ll introduce you some time. But lunch is almost over, we have to go back to class.”
With that he put Adrien’s charming smile back on and Adrien frowned, although he wasn’t sure if it was real or not. It could be real.
Not long after, it started. Adrien embraced being Felix for a day. He seemed to let go of the public image his father had drilled into him and he started to say what he thought. Or at least what he thought, Felix would think and say. He had never been prouder. It didn’t matter that he would have to deal with the disgruntled class after this day, after all he would probably antagonize them further after he won the bet. Seeing Adrien leaning into his mischievous side was great. Compared to Felix he was still tame, but it was a start. Felix was especially proud when he metaphorically tore the latest issue of the Style Queen to shreds. And he didn’t take it back! Of course Chloe demanded that “Adrikins” defended her mother, but he really didn’t want to, so he just gave her an apologetic smile and said something very Adrien-like about people having different tastes.
And he had to suppress a big grin when Rossi tried to impress “Felix” with some stupid story about having tea with Queen Elizabeth and he just yawned and said “Sure, who hadn’t?” Oh, he wished, he had a photo of Rossi’s flabbergasted face. To be honest, he probably would have had an even snarkier response, but it would have been along the same line, because really, who hadn’t? She did realise that his father had been given a knighthood, right? Felix also had the suspicion that maybe, maybe, his cousin enjoyed not having a filter for one day. Maybe it was their talk in the bathroom about how there would be an akuma anyway if Hawk Moth wanted to create one. Better have it here and be able to tell the heroes what set them off and where the akuma probably was, right?
On the other hand, Adrien made him, Felix, a target if he kept going, so he tried to intervene the way his cousin would normally do: With a soft smile and the foolish hope everyone would get along if they just held each other by the hands and sang a song. At least in the past this would have been how he behaved. Who knows? After this day this might change. At least he hoped it would. And from now on he could be a good influence on Adrien. He would keep him away from the likes of Chloe or that insufferable Rossi girl and this loud reporter … oh and the overly sweet and naive pink girl. What was her name again? Lily? No, but it was some sort of flower ... Eh, who cares? Adrien didn’t need his female version around if he wanted him to develop a spine to rebel against Gabriel.
The tech guy would probably be fine, even though he seemed to be friends with the dumb jock but at least he was confident, a trait Adrien could learn from him. And the skater - WHAT HAD HAPPENED NOW?
When Felix had been distracted analyzing his new classmates and deciding which would be good for Adrien’s development, the boy in question had obviously decided to prank the pink-haired skater by stealing borrowing her skates. Not a hair colour he would pick, but it seemed to fit her. And if it got Adrien to dye his hair some crazy colour, he wouldn’t complain. Anything to give his dear uncle a stroke. But it was probably annoying to dye the hair at the roots every few weeks.
Now “Felix” was skating on the second floor of the building from one classroom to the next, grinning like an idiot. Dear Lord, he was so, so lucky Marinette wasn’t here. She would have called them both out several times already, that manic grin would just be the latest and most embarrassing addition and she would never let that one go. He did not grin like that. He usually smirked, he had class and self-control after all. He only grinned when he had his prey cornered and enjoyed giving that last fatal blow and he did not look like a murderous psychopath when he grinned!
“Felix, please stop. You’ll get hurt!” he called after his cousin, this one time actually slightly worried. He wasn’t sure whether Adrien had ever been on skates before. Well, at least he didn’t have to placate the owner of the skates, who cackled gleefully and cheered him on. Yes, that one would be an asset in the rebellion against Gabriel.
For the remaining school day it seemed as if Adrien had made it his mission to prank his classmates and teachers, but Felix soon realised that he never crossed a line. Except for Chloe, who threw a tantrum over everything, and Rossi, who he obviously didn’t particularly like, his pranks were never mean or targeted people who couldn’t handle them, like the shy artist in the back row. He showed consideration the real Felix certainly didn’t have. Hopefully he would feel comfortable to be a prankster as Adrien soon. Just like they were when they were little kids.
In the end “Felix” did get hurt. In the history of mankind, there hadn’t been anyone else who beamed like that over a scraped knee.
“You silly idiot. Are you happy now? Could you at least enjoy it?” he asked with a sigh and soft enough so only his cousin could hear him.
“Yes, this is actually fun. I thought pranking people would make me feel guilty, but it doesn’t seem to bother them too much. I think I made you quite popular by accident,” Adrien mused when Felix helped him to the nurse who disinfected and bandaged the scraped knee.
“Let’s just hope you can wear long trousers in your shoots until you’re healed,” he muttered. Adrien gave him a sheepish smile and nodded slowly. They made it to their last lesson soon after the bell rang, but seeing as everyone had witnessed “Felix’s” injury, the teacher was already informed that they would be late and just motioned them to take their seats. Too bad that Rossi had taken advantage of their delay and sat in the seat next to “Adrien”, so “Felix” would have to sit in the second row next to the reporter.
It. Was. HELL!
If he hadn’t been this close to winning the bet, he might have given up in favour of ripping this girl a new one. Had she never heard of personal space? She clung to his left arm all the time during the lesson and all the stupid homeroom teacher did was giving them a beaming, proud smile.
“Well, it seems we’re done for today. You have your homework, so, if you want, you can start on it early or you can go home now, if you prefer,” she finally announced a good ten minutes before the lesson would actually end. It was something Felix had never experienced. Weren’t teachers responsible for their students until the school day officially ended? What if one of the students got hurt on their way home when they should still be at school?
Well, it didn’t seem to matter because everyone around him packed their bags and he was swept out of the school, Rossi still clung to his left arm and Chloe to his right, both were arguing, one with a sickly sweet tone, the other with a shrill voice and both gave him a headache. They would pay for it. He would make them suffer. Tomorrow. Today he was tired from being Adrien and he only wanted to go home.
“Is .. oh, that’s Marinette! Come, Sunshine, I’m sure Marinette would be ecstatic to see you!” he heard the reporter suddenly yell before Chloe was pushed aside and he was dragged across the street to the best bakery in Paris. He could distantly hear the blonde throw another tantrum.
In front of said bakery parked a black Bentley from which a girl with bluish black hair had just emerged. A painfully familiar girl.
No, no, no, no, NO!
She wasn’t supposed to be here!
Felix tried to glance at his phone to see if the ten minutes to the end of the school day were up, but he didn’t have a chance. Ok, he would have to buy his time. He could do that. He would just have to play Adrien perfectly for a few more minutes. And he should try to keep Adrien from-
“Adrien, don’t you want to introduce me?”
For one moment Felix couldn’t help but hate his cousin.
“Ah, yes, of course. Marinette, this is-”
“Felix and I already know each other. But I don’t know why he-” she suddenly trailed off and he saw the way her eyes narrowed. Shit. The gig was up. She knew there was something going on. Why couldn’t Adrien keep his mouth shut?
He tuned out whatever nonsense Rossi and the reporter were chattering about while he searched for any idea that could save him from losing the bet.
“Marinette, I’m sure you need the notes and the homework for today!” Felix tried to interject and distract her but when she looked back at him and gave him a calculating look, he knew it was all for nothing. Maybe he could at least stop her from saying anything for another-
“Say, Felix, why did you and Adrien switch roles?”
For a moment everyone was perfectly silent. Even the world around them seemed as if someone had pressed mute. And then they all could clearly hear the bell from the school across the street, announcing the end of the school day. The end of the set time frame of their bet.
Felix groaned and Adrien started to laugh and beam.
“I won! I won and now you will have to make amends with the class,” the blonde model cheered. If looks could kill, Adrien would have dropped dead considering the venomous look Felix gave him. The next thing he did was push the annoying brat away. Maybe he used a bit more force than necessary because she gave a surprised yelp and fell to the ground in an ungraceful heap.
“At least now I don’t have to endure you anymore!” he hissed and marched over to stand next to Marinette, using her as a buffer between him and the other three.
“What the hell? What is wrong with you?” cried the reporter and helped her shocked friend up. Adrien gave him a disappointed look as well and even Marinette frowned slightly.
“You know, Felix, I can understand the urge, but that seemed a bit uncalled for” she whispered.
“Oh, it was called for, alright. She irritated me the whole day and now I don’t have to put up with her anymore. This was satisfying! Don’t turn into my cousin and give me the I’m-disappointed-speech,” he grumbled. Marinette just sighed and shook her head. He was lucky, because they were approached by a man, which put an end to the current discussion.
“Mademoiselle Marinette? I brought your luggage into your room. Is there anything else you need?” he asked politely and gave them a friendly smile.
“Oh, thank you, Etienne. No I … Actually, if you have a bit of time in your schedule: Mademoiselle Rossi just fell, I’m not sure if she hurt herself. Could you drive her home or to a hospital and make sure she is taken care of?” Marinette answered with a slight tilt of her head in Rossi’s direction.
Etienne nodded and helped the girl into the car. She protested at first but when the reporter talked to her, she finally relented, but not before she gave them all a nasty glare. Felix only reacted with a smug smirk.
“So, girl, I’m confused! Who is this Etienne guy, what are you wearing and what was this about you and Felix knowing each other and why did you two switch? I want some answers and I want them now!”
Ah yes, someone had reached the end of their patience.
“Well, Etienne is one of our drivers. What is wrong with what I’m wearing? And Felix and I have known each other for ages. I think I was eight years old. Nonna Gina had taken me to some gala to introduce me als the next heiress.” Marinette shrugged. She didn’t seem all that bothered. The way she eyed her clothes made it apparent that this part was what concerned her the most. She probably wondered what was wrong with them for her friend to mention them. It was probably just the fact that she was smartly dressed. She wore anthracite-coloured slacks, a sky blue chiffon blouse and a matching blazer. Over her shoulder she had a small blue purse. Every item was embroidered with the familiar MDC logo.
“Felix and I switched to prove that my friends would be able to recognize he’s not me this time. I knew you would notice it, Mari! What gave us away?” Adrien asked eagerly. The girl gave a tiny squeak and became flustered. She stammered something nonsensical until he grabbed her hand and thus distracted her from his cousin. Really? How did she become this flustered about Adrien? He knew both of them and Adrien was definitely not impressive enough to warrant a reaction like that from someone like Marinette! He was far superior than his cousin and she didn’t react like that to him!
“Well, when you are both there, it’s quite obvious. Adrien is a few centimeters taller than Felix. And when Adrien as Felix asked to be introduced it was a dead giveaway. Felix and I are pretty close friends, actually.”
And there it was. Marinette turned to him and gave him a warm smile and Felix felt his own smirk soften into a tiny smile. And he relished the looks in the faces of their companions. The utter bewilderment was perfect. Exactly the kind of chaos he thrived in.
“More than friends, we’re partners in crime,” he smirked conspiratorially and was rewarded with a happy giggle. “And since it’s your fault I lost the bet, you will have to help me with this amends making business.”
His smirk widened when she groaned but she didn’t complain. He knew she would help him. Not only because they were friends, partners, as he said, but because it was just the kind of sentimental rubbish she would adore.
“Ok, that’s peachy and all, but I’m still lost on the other issue here: Why do you have a driver? Are you, like, rich and you haven’t told me?” That reporter just couldn’t shut up, could she?
“Drivers. Plural,“ Felix corrected, his lips pulled once more into a smug smirk. The kind of smirk people usually would want to punch to get rid of and the way Miss Cesaire glared at him, that was exactly what she wanted to do.
“Felix-” Marinette’s attempt to stop him went ignored when he stepped forward.
“And didn’t you know? The Dupain-Chengs aren’t just rich. They’re rich rich. Probably everything in your fridge is from one of their subsidiaries. They are Mont Pe-”
“FELIX!”
He stopped and turned to Marinette.
“I feel uncomfortable talking about that.” She pointedly looked at him until he relented with a nod. Then she turned to her friend.
“Alya, I never mentioned it, because it doesn't really matter. My family’s finances aren’t anyone’s business. But I also never lied about it. I never asked the class for money for the baked goods I brought or for the babysitting or the stuff I created for you all. My parents’ bakery is in the heart of Paris, almost right next to the Eiffel Tower and we own the entire building. I go to the same school as the daughter of the mayor and you know that Chloe only accepts the most expensive option. It’s not exactly a secret that we’re well off.”
“I thought you had a scholarship. You know, like I have a scholarship from the mayor because my mother works for him. I heard something about a Dupain-Cheng scholarship once,” the blogger tried to defend herself after a moment of silence.
“That scholarship is financed by us. Aurore Beaureal and Marc Anciel are the current recipients,” she explained and slowly stepped to her friend.
“Maybe we should go in. You can give me the notes, I can unpack my stuff and we can talk?”
“Ah, I’m afraid Felix and I have to pass.” Adrien pointed to his bodyguard who had emerged from his car and stomped over to them.
“Oh, ah, yes. Tomorrow see-! See you tomorrow!” Marinette stuttered and again was far too flustered for Felix’s taste. He would not only have to help Adrien to rebel against his father, which was harder now that he lost the bet, he would also have to do something about Marinette’s inability to form a coherent sentence around his cousin.
“Oh, and Felix, I expect you to have this fixed by tomorrow!” At least she could talk normally to him. Marinette pointed at his outfit and he gave her his signature smirk.
“Your wish is my command, Sugar Princess.”
“See to it, King Gremlin.”
“What did you just call him?” Alya asked as he turned to walk to Adrien’s car.
“Oh, that story is hilarious! It involves some truly insufferable people and a bottle of castor oil …”
Felix remembered that story vividly. And perhaps this time he actually grinned at the memory as he climbed into the car. A classy grin, mind you. He had lost the bet. But he had won the perfect excuse to spend a lot of time with Marinette. So maybe that wasn’t so bad after all.
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meganlpie · 4 years
Text
She Saved Me
Based on this request:  Would you please write an AU story featuring Viktor Krum and a female reader? Plot idea is that the reader was a Ravenclaw in George and Fred’s year. She had a slight crush on Viktor during the year he was at Hogwarts for the Tri-Wizard Tournament; his accent and manners were what caught her attention. During the final battle at Hogwarts, Viktor comes to aid Harry and those fighting the Death Eaters. The reader saves his life, with a modified spell of his creation, before running off to help others. He searches for her, but all he has to go on is that it was a girl wearing blue and said the spell in Romanian; he could tell she’s a non-native speaker because of a slight accent. A happy ending, please.
Here you are! I do not own ANY HP characters, unfortunately.
Warnings: Fluff! Mentions of the 2nd Wizard War. 
Pairings: Viktor Krum x fem!reader, mentions of other canon couples, but not really present. 
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Viktor Krum never imagined he would return to Hogwarts. After the Tri-Wizard Tournament, when he was bewitched, Viktor never wanted to return to Hogwarts. Still, when the world was hanging on by a mere thread, action had to be taken. That was how he found himself back at the wizard school, facing off against dozens upon dozens of Death Eaters. He honestly took on too many and that was how he found himself in the situation he was in.
         A few of the Death Eaters preferred to torture their victims before killing them. Viktor was ended up being one of those victims. He could feel himself growing weaker by the second. But suddenly, it all stopped. In a flash of blue and a rush of words Viktor recognized instantly. His own spell, but different somehow. It was clear the witch casting the spell was not from Viktor's country. The accent was off and the spell had most definitely been altered somehow, but it was his spell.  
         The Death Eaters were gone and then so was the witch. Viktor's brows furrowed, but he had no time to even contemplate going after her. First, he had no idea who she was or even what she looked like. All he had seen was a bit of blue. Second, there were more Death Eaters closing in. They needed to be dealt with first.
*short time skip*
         Viktor let out an exasperated breath as the battle finally ended. It was over. He could return home and the world would be a safer place. He bid Harry Potter and his friends farewell before leaving Hogwarts once more, hopefully for good. He was unaware of a pair of (e/c) eyes watching him, but he would never forget the witch who had saved him. He only hoped that one day he would be able to thank her properly.
         A few years passed. Viktor continued to play Quidditch and develop spells. He lived his life grateful to still have one. In the back of his mind, however, he couldn't shake away the image of that witch. Something about her voice told Viktor that he had at least met her before. He only wished he could have seen her clearly.
         "What is it about this girl?" Harry Potter had asked him once. He was in Bulgaria to watch his wife play with the Harpies against Viktor's team. "She saved me. I just want to thank her," Viktor replied, hoping he was speaking clearly enough. Harry often had a problem understanding him in the past. Harry had simply arched a brow and fell silent, leaving Viktor alone with his thoughts. It wasn't until a few weeks later, and Ron and Hermione's wedding, that Viktor realized why Harry was smiling at him the way he was.
         Viktor was standing outside the reception to get some air when he heard Harry behind him. "Viktor, I'd like you to meet Y/F/N. I think she may be the one you've been looking for." Viktor's jaw dropped slightly as you stuttered out a greeting in his native tongue. You looked positively shy, nervous, and adorable all at once, but your voice was unmistakable. And Viktor had indeed met you before. When he was at Hogwarts the first time. You had helped him in the library and had been just as shy back then.
         "It is you," Viktor said in greeting. You finally met his gaze, head tilted in confusion. "You saved me. All those years ago. It was you." You smiled slightly as your head tilted down again so you were looking at your shoes. Viktor carefully reached out and cupped your chin, encouraging you to look up at him again. "Do I frighten you?" he asked. He had been working on his English for just this moment.  He wanted you to understand him when he expressed his gratitude. You immediately shook your head.
         "N-No. I'm not afraid." Viktor nodded a bit and silence fell between you for a few moments. It was as if the wedding reception taking place in the tents behind you wasn't even there. "Thank you." You blinked in surprise. "For what?" you asked. Viktor carefully rolled up his sleeve to reveal a scar. "For saving my life. This? It could have been much worse."
         "Oh. I-I-It was nothing. I couldn't let you die. Not the great Viktor Krum," you announced with a flourish of your hands and a small smile, making Viktor chuckle. You stared up at him in slight awe. Not the awe of an overwhelmed fan of his, but the awe of someone who had met their soulmate for the first time. Viktor couldn't tell if he was sharing that same feeling or if he was merely grateful for your help. But Viktor Krum never ran away from anything and he wasn't going to flee from the stirring in his heart and stomach.
         "Would you care to dance?" he asked, obviously taking you by surprise when you gasped a little. "Uh, sure." Your hands were shaking a bit as Viktor wrapped his arm around you, pulling you just a little closer. Viktor found that he couldn't look away from your face as you danced together. He was mesmerized by how someone who was seemingly so shy and reserved had also had enough courage to save a man you barely knew.
         The dance ended and Viktor placed a barely there kiss to the back of your hand, his dark eyes riveted on your (e/c) ones. You smiled at him. The butterflies in his stomach kicked up tenfold. He felt like he might be sick, his stomach felt so fluttery.  "Thank you for the dance," you said softly. Viktor grinned.
         "You do not need to thank me for that," he started and then, thinking it was now or never, he continued, "Perhaps…Perhaps you would care to join me for dinner sometime?" Your eyes widened almost comically. "You want to have dinner with me?" Viktor nodded. He couldn't fight the silly grin on his face when you agreed.
         "Wonderful!" he exclaimed in his native language before saying in English, "Perhaps you could tell me how you managed to modify my spell?" You laughed at that. You spent the rest of the night talking, switching between your two languages. As the night wound down, Viktor realized that he hadn't felt as comfortable and at home in a long time. He could get used to that, if you were willing. The very thought made Viktor smile.
(a/n: I hope you like it!)
Forever Tags: @fizzyxcustard​ @brewsthespirit-blog​ @sirkekselord​ @aikibriarrose​ @lady-of-lies​ @esoltis280​ @motleymoose​ @sdavid09​ @dark-angel-is-back
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ms-demeanor · 4 years
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While I appreciate that you want a person to live, have you considered that you are just another person who has refused them help? Sometimes it doesn’t get better. For how many years, and from how many people, is a person supposed to be ok with being dehumanized before it is ok for them to throw the towel in?
Telling someone what caliber of gun is most likely to kill them so they can start a savings fund for it isn’t helping; refusing to respond to that with anything other than mental health resources isn’t refusing to help.
But okay we’re going to have the It Gets Better talk.
I am almost thirty four years old. I’ve been getting treated for depression for literally more than half of my life. I have spent even MORE of my life than that kind of wishing that I was dead and occasionally REALLY wishing I was dead and sort of getting off my ass to do something about it. I have the standard CSA/multiple rape survivor Oh No The Trauma backstory and spent the last *nine* years living with an emotionally abusive relative who had recently taken to tracking my activity by filming me in my home.
I kind of hate “it gets better” narratives because you know what, sometimes life is shit and it doesn’t really get all that much better. Sometimes things are bad and the only thing that gets you out of the abuser’s house is the fact that your partner nearly died. Sometimes everything sucks and it sucks for a long time and there’s no end of the suck in sight.
I have friends who are chronically, degeneratively ill. I know “It Gets Better” doesn’t really help them because they aren’t going to get better. They’re going to stay sick, they’re going to keep hurting, and in a lot of cases things are going to get worse.
So “It Gets Better” kind of rubs me the wrong way. I’d like to reframe it.
You get better at dealing with the bullshit.
Sometimes your situation doesn’t improve but how you approach it does. You may be stuck in the same shit but dedicating less mental space to caretaking an abuser’s emotions. You may still be dealing with daily pain but you’ve gotten to know what triggers it and what to avoid. You may be stuck in a miserable, terrifying situation and have a rich and thriving community of fanfic authors you talk to when shit gets to be too heavy.
The people who “it gets better” narratives tend to be really helpful for are young people who don’t have any autonomy who are close to being old enough that they’ll finally get to make some choices about their lives.
It’s harder dealing with feeling trapped as an adult because you can’t generally escape the things that are trapping you by living in a college dorm or getting an apartment with a bunch of roommates or coming out because you may have already done those things OR you may be in a place where those things aren’t possible for you.
So what do you do?
Well, for starters instead of saving up money for the best kind of gun to kill yourself with save up money for something stupid and funny that you like. Save up money for a tattoo, save up money for an arcade-size DDR cabinet and pads, save up money to buy a camera to make a youtube channel of you doing bad cover songs. (And if you don’t have money to save up then take up a free hobby; if you’ve got access to the internet to send me anons about how to kill yourself you’ve got access to the internet to use AO3 and I strongly recommend you start writing self-insert fic where you get to hang out with the cool fictional characters you like because it’s sort of like maladaptive daydreaming but people will stop by and say nice things about it and you feel validated when the numbers go up)
If you *can’t* fix your situation (because you live in a country that doesn’t recognize your gender, because you’re poor and have to live with people who hurt you, because you’ve got such deep and overwhelming anxiety that making the change seems impossible, because you don’t want to abandon someone more vulnerable than you to the bad situation) then do something, ANYTHING, that you and you alone are in charge of. You’re in charge of your bad cover songs youtube channel. You’re in charge of the smiley face tattooed on your ass. You’re in charge of what happens in your totally self-indulgent, fluffy, found family fic.
Find one thing, ONE THING, that allows you to assert your autonomy and everything gets a lot easier from there because A) you’ve got proof you can do something for yourself and B) you’ve now got something to fall back on when you ask yourself “why do I keep going?”
You keep going because you like your gender affirming roleplay group online. You keep going because you want a horrible butterfly tattooed on the other ass cheek. You keep going because you want to see how many kudos the next update gets.
And while you’re doing all of that you’re making a plan.
Let’s not kid ourselves here, suicidal people are GOOD at making plans. Not at keeping them all the time, but good at making them.
So you plan to get out.
You might not *keep* that plan but if you can sit and fantasize about eating a gun so that the pain will stop then you can sit and fantasize about buying a plane ticket or running away or looking for a different doctor so the pain will stop.
Do the little things that you can do. Write fic, go fishing, fold paper cranes, take long walks by yourself, pet a cat, get a tongue piercing, read a book. Do the little things that you can control, that you enjoy, that you do just for you.
And while you’re doing that think about the train you’re going to take to leave, how much nicer the nurses will be at the new doctor, how great it’s going to feel to dress in a way that feels right.
And even if it doesn’t work and you’re stuck living with a shitty abusive harpy who screams you awake and makes you have panic attacks whenever you hear her moving around the house you’ll get better at dealing with the bullshit. You’ll build up a space for you in your head where the bullshit isn’t there.
And then maybe someday the outside matches the inside. Maybe your friend needs a roommate, maybe you get a job that pays better, maybe a new medication is released. You don’t know for sure that it’s going to happen, there’s no guarantee it’ll happen, but at least if it doesn’t happen you’ve carved out a little space for yourself where you can survive.
ALSO
I know that a huge number of suicidal people are suicidal because they feel helpless.
One way to IMMEDIATELY make yourself feel less helpless is to help someone else. Here’s an app where you can give visual assistance to blind and low-vision people: https://www.bemyeyes.com/
The world is shitty and everything sucks and sometimes you can’t make your own situation better, but you can write video and image transcriptions on tumblr and maybe that’ll cheer someone else up.
Anyway, it’s not up to me to say when anybody else has had enough, but I figure you shouldn’t try to kill yourself until you’ve gotten a stegosaurus in an admiral’s hat tattooed on your thigh or something because who knows, that could be the thing that makes you feel better enough to keep going and if you’ve put up with the pain and bullshit this long what do you have to lose by putting up with it a little longer?
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timelesslords · 3 years
Text
time, mystical time (cutting me open then healing me fine)
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The night the second Giant War ends, Percy and Annabeth sneak out together 
For the first time in what felt like years, Annabeth was able to exhale.
They'd done it. Gaea was gone, the Romans were on their side, various monster armies had been defeated. Sitting on the porch of the Big House with the remaining seven after all was said and done had felt like both one of the most anti-climactic, and heaviest moments of her life. Leo was gone, and she hadn't fully processed that yet, she wondered if she would ever fully process that Leo, so full of life and energy, wasn't there anymore. But compared to the Titan War, casualties had been light.
She still felt on edge, like at any moment the dirt in front of her might rise into Gaea's familiar form, shout "surprise!" and murder them all now that they had their guard down. But the hours passed, night fell, and nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Which, considering how Annabeth's life had gone the past 7 years, was extraordinary in and of itself.
But it still didn't feel right. It didn't feel done . She could breathe out, but breathing in still felt like a struggle, like there was something caught there.
Maybe that was why, once her siblings seemed mostly asleep, Annabeth slipped on her yankees cap and snuck out the door. She reached Cabin 3 easily, and was not at all surprised to find Percy still awake when she tapped on his window. He opened it, letting out a waft of cool sea breeze into the night air. Annabeth pulled off her cap and Percy grinned at her.
"Thank gods, I was wondering if you were ever going to show up." he said.
"Some of us have roommates." Annabeth replied, but she was also smiling. Percy had a conspiratorial grin on his face, the kind that was contagious, and that would make any self-respecting teacher want to cry.
"Give me a sec," He said, disappearing from the window, and returning with a blanket a few moments later. Then he began to climb out.
"You know the door is like six feet away, right?" Annabeth asked, watching with amusement as he maneuvered his way out of the small window hole. Percy managed to slide out of it, his feet landing on solid ground a little harder than he probably intended.
"Yeah, but where's the fun in that?"
"You're ridiculous." Annabeth said. She had not meant for it to come out quite so fondly, but she didn't have the heart to try and correct herself.
"You love me anyways." Percy said happily, taking her hand, lacing his fingers through hers. It felt so easy, so natural, Annabeth could almost forget the past 8 months had happened. Like they were still two kids who had only been through one war in their lifetime instead of two Which, okay, maybe a pretty pathetic ideal, but it still made her feel good.
They made their way down to the beach, careful to avoid the cleaning harpy's regular paths, though Annabeth doubted they were even on curfew duty tonight. There was still tons of debris lying around from the earlier battle that hadn't been fully squared away yet, despite everyone working around the clock to get it done. Though, with help from the Romans, Annabeth thought they could probably have camp looking back to normal in the next day or two. They were scarily efficient. Either way, the harpies were probably taking the night off.
The beach, thankfully, had remained relatively untouched from the battle. There were a few dunes she wasn't sure had been there before, and what looked like a bit of wreckage from one of the orangers. But they ignored both, opting for their favorite spot just above the tideline, in the middle of the beach. Percy set down the blanket, and they laid down on it together, still holding hands.
They were quiet, but that didn't bother Annabeth. Quiet moments with Percy were stupidly hard to come by, and just being next to him made her feel whole again. Even after the weeks they'd spent together, Annabeth hadn't fully recovered from the time she had spent with him missing. She wondered if she would ever fully recover from that, or if she was doomed to dream of him disappearing right before her eyes for the rest of her life.
And that had always been the fear, hadn't it? That he would leave like everyone else in her life had, before she had him? It was her fault they had taken so long to get together, the way she kept pulling away, expecting him to get tired and go. But he hadn't. He had stubbornly stuck around, even when she was mad at him and being mean to him and hadn't really been all that pleasant to be around.
And of course, there was the other thing. The prophecy that had ruled their lives since they were twelve, that Annabeth had read at too young an age, and that she had applied to him from the minute that trident flashed over his head. He wasn't even supposed to be here.
"What are you thinking about?"
Annabeth glanced over at Percy, who had apparently been looking at her for the past few minutes.
"You've got that scrunched up look on your face." He said. He at least had the decency to sound apologetic.
"My face doesn't get scrunched." Annabeth protested, though even as she said it she became aware of the tenseness in her forehead and between her eyes. She rubbed the bridge of her nose.
"It does, when you're thinking hard. Don't worry, it's very cute."
"You're biased." Annabeth said, turning herself so she could look at him straight on.
"Maybe so." Percy said, with a soft smile and a half shrug. It was very easy to forget, sometimes, that they were half gods, but Annabeth saw it in Percy just then. Something beyond human in his touch and his eyes. Something divine. She wasn't sure how she had ever thought it would be possible for him to die. Looking at him now, she would swear up and down he was an immortal.
"I was just thinking about last summer. And the one before that. And all the time we wasted." Annabeth admitted.
"In our defence, we were kind of dumb then." Percy said, hitting her with a trademark grin. Annabeth had to smile back, even as she rolled her eyes.
"Speak for yourself, Seaweed Brain."
"Okay, okay. I was an idiot, and you were as brilliant as ever." Percy amended. Annabeth appreciated his undue faith in her, but it wasn't entirely warranted.
"I wasn't brilliant. I was pragmatic, which is just another kind of stupid if you use it wrong." Annabeth sighed.
"What do you mean?"
"Like," Annabeth started, not sure how to explain what she was thinking in a totally not-morbid way, "I guess I was just thinking about the prophecy the whole time. After the labyrinth especially, I just– I don't know. I was so scared of how it would all play out. I kept pushing you away because I thought it would be easier."
"You thought I was going to die." Percy said. He had a look of careful consideration on his face, free from judgement. He didn't let go of her hand.
"Yes." Annabeth said, feeling guilty as she did, "I mean, I should've known better. Prophecies never play out the way you think they will."
"The summer before. We ended things on weird terms." Percy remembered, "Is that because you thought the time was running out?"
Annabeth shuddered inadvertently. If it was up to her, she would never think about that summer again. It had easily been the worst of her life, maybe even now, and she had some really shitty summers to compare it to.
"It was partially that." Annabeth admitted, "Partially Luke. And... it was also sort of my prophecy. When you disappeared those two weeks and we– I thought you had died, I thought... I thought it was my fault. For bringing you on the quest."
Percy was frowning, like he wasn't quite following what she was saying.
"The last line. The one I didn't tell you about until after." Annabeth prompted.
And lose a love worse than death. Annabeth had been well aware of her crush on Percy at that point, but she hadn't fully, truly realized she was in love with him until she had thought he'd died for her prophecy. It was the absolute worst moment to have that clarity. Thankfully she had gotten a do-over of sorts, but it was hard to forget that kind of pain. That probably was why she had avoided him the rest of the summer, more than anything else, because she after she knew that she loved him the thought of losing him again, which had felt desperately inevitable at the time, was absolutely excruciating.
Percy's eyes widened in understanding.
"Oh. Oh. Oh gods, I was an idiot. I didn't even realize how much of an idiot I was for that." he said, "After you kissed me and everything. I just never put it together."
Annabeth couldn't help but laugh a little at the expression on his face.
"It's okay." she said.
"Did I ever apologize for that? I'm really sorry."
"You don't have to apologize. I tortured you enough after the fact."
"You did do that. I deserved it though. Gods." Percy said, rolling onto his back, looking up at the stars.
"Rachel didn't though." Annabeth said. She still felt a little twinge of guilt at how she'd treated Rachel the first few times they'd met. Looking back on it, it really didn't have much to do with Rachel at all; she had mostly been mad at herself, and Percy. Herself for not being brave enough to make a move, Percy for having a crush on a girl who wasn't her, after all they'd been through together. Not exactly fair feelings all around, but at least they'd been equally distributed. And she'd apologized to Rachel afterwards.
"No, probably not." Percy agreed.
"I was just mad, I guess. Luke was gone for good. Thalia had left, and I knew she had to, but it still hurt. And I thought I was going to lose you to her and then you were going to die, again, sort of, and it was all just kind of unbearable."
"I'm sorry. That you had to do that alone." Percy said, squeezing her hand, "I wish I had been better about it. I just didn't really know what to do."
"It's not your fault." Annabeth said. Then, after a moment of contemplation
"Though you could have at least acknowledged the kiss."
Percy groaned, covering his face with his free hand.
"I was so dumb. I still didn't know if you liked me after that. I thought you just wanted to forget about it."
"Well, after you didn't mention it, maybe." Annabeth said, a little teasingly. It was nice to just be able to sit here and talk about things. The past few months had been pretty hellish, but one thing they had done was put things in perspective. It was easy to laugh at their awkward 15-year-old selves' interactions now, while it might've still been uncomfortable a few months ago.
Of course, if Percy hadn't disappeared out of nowhere, they probably would've reached this point in their relationship organically, without all the trauma on the side. But if she thought about that for too long she would just get angry, and she didn't want to ruin the moment. It was a nice moment. The type of moment she wanted to have with him over and over again, until they both died of old age. For the first time that actually felt like an achievable goal.
"Can I get a do-over?" Percy asked, his trouble-maker smile back on his face. Annabeth grinned back.
"You can have as many do-overs as you want."
He leaned over and kissed her, soft and sweet, and frankly much better than the hurried, frantic one in the volcano had been.
"Annabeth Chase," he said as he pulled away, "I am acknowledging that that was an amazing kiss. I hope to have many more amazing kisses with you, for the rest of our lives."
Annabeth laughed and kissed him again, because she had the time, and they finally had the world to themselves again, and now that he had kissed her again, any time not spent kissing him felt like a waste.
"You're very good at that. Have I ever told you you're very good at that?" Percy said, when they finally broke apart again.
"Well, I had lots of practice before you." Annabeth said, unable to stop the sly smile from spreading across her lips.
"Like who?" Percy asked, indignantly. He was joking, but she could tell there was a note of genuine surprise there.
"Oh, lets see." Annabeth said, rolling back onto her back, fingers still laced through Percy's, "There was Zach, from elementary school. He wasn't very good, but practice is practice. And then Jake from that boarding school–"
"You kissed guys at your boarding school?"
"Oh sure. I was sad and you weren't around, I had to make do. I made out with Connor once, that was an experience."
"Our Connor? Connor Stoll?" Percy asked, unable to mask his surprise. Annabeth bit down a giggle.
"Yeah, on a dare. He wasn't so bad, really, but he could have used a little less ton–"
"Okay, okay, I get the point," Percy said hurriedly, and Annabeth finally let herself laugh.  
"Don't worry, you're better than all of them put together." Annabeth said, reaching around her own head and patting his with her spare hand.
"Are you sure you're not just saying that?" Percy asked.
"Mm. Might have to double check." Annabeth said, keeping her voice as serious as she could possibly make it.
"Oh yeah?" Percy said, and it was a dare to him now, which meant that teasing him so much had either been a bad idea, or a really really good one.
"Yeah." Annabeth said, and in a strange way she felt freer than she had before. Like a huge weight had been lifted off her chest.
Annabeth breathed in the salty sea air, revelling in the inhale. She might've started to cry if he hadn't kissed her then, but it was just as well. They had plenty of time.
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xlucygraysongbirdx · 3 years
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What is your absolute favourite thing about the Weasley-Potter family household and what do you think was the main thing they were most excited about seeing/doing when they arrive at Hogwarts for the first time, when they were younger?
I love so many things about the Weasley-Potter family and I have no idea where to even start!!
I think the first thing that comes to mind when I think of the Weasley-Potters is: Chaos. They are quite possibly the most chaotic family (even worse than mine) to ever exist, and there's not a time when they're all together that there isn't some form of chaos happening. Whether it's an argument over dinner about who gets the potatoes next, or a scuffle over a lost Quidditch match, whether that be played or watched, or which member of the Holyhead Harpies would absolutely crush James Sirius in an arm wrestle (spoiler: it's all of them!)
Another thing that springs to might with this chaotic family is: love. Despite the chaos and the fights that are often being thrown around (Dominique often comes up with some creative insults), they love each other so dearly. And it shows in everything they do. They cheer so loudly during their sortings, no matter which house they get sorted in, they are there at every Quidditch match, chess tournament or duel that a member of their family partakes in, and help each other study in the lessons in which they struggle. They're a tight knit and loving family, despite what most people see on the outside.
And here is what I think they're most excited about when starting (and bonus Hogwarts houses):
Victoire (Gryffindor): Vic's most excited to see Hogwarts itself, she's heard all the stories growing up of the war, she's even seen pictures, but she's never seen the real thing. Being a part of the first generation born after the war, Vic wants to see the place that made her so important. Not to mention she wants to see the place where her mother fought a dragon, and prayed one day she'll be just as badass.
Louis (Ravenclaw): Much like they're older sister, Louis dreamed of seeing the castle. Truth is, Louis was rather scared to start Hogwarts. Every Weasley, up until Louis, had been sorted into Gryffindor, but Louis was much more preserved and favoured the harmony of books and history and they dreamed of Ravenclaw, being up in the tower (not too far from his cousins) and feeling like he finally belonged.
Freddie(Gryffindor): Freddie's one and only mission when starting Hogwarts was to get up to as much mischief as his dad and uncle with James. He succeeds, ending up with his first detention on day 2 (the Marauders Map didn't quite help him as much as it used to help his Uncle Harry.... or James is just a terrible navigator).
James Sirius(Gryffindor): James wanted to meet McGonagall. He was so excited to get to Hogwarts, it was all he spoke about during the summer (driving his siblings absolutely insane), and get up to mischief, but deep down he truly wanted to meet the woman who had helped his dad through school. His parents often spoke very highly of her.
Dominique(Gryffindor): Dominique was pretty excited about Quidditch and getting to see her first match. She'd seen hundreds of matches, but everyone of them was just as exciting, and she could not wait to see the team she would play for eventually on the pitch. The pitch that countless of her family members had played and won matches.
Albus(Slytherin): Albus was far too nervous to be excited about anything, but if there was one thing, he wanted to sit next to his brother and enjoy the welcoming feast.
Rose(Gryffindor): Making new friends! All Rose really wanted was to go to school with Albus and make new friends, be exactly like her mum and dad. Oh, and make the Quidditch team as soon as possible (if James could do it in his third year, she certainly could).
Molly II(Slytherin): Molly wanted to see the ghosts! Particularly The Bloody Baron (good job she ended up in the right house for that). She'd been fascinated by ghosts her entire life (maybe it was the movie her Uncle George let her watch when she was far too young), but she had always wanted to meet one.
Roxanne(Hufflepuff): Roxanne wanted to meet the House Elves that worked in the kitchens. She often spent time there during her years at Hogwarts helping out, just because she truly wanted to. Her Aunt Hermione helped her knit some hats for them, just like she did back when she was in school.
Lily Luna(Gryffindor): The second Lily Luna was free to her own adventures in the school, she went straight to the greenhouses. She's not great at herbology, or tended to flowers in general, but she loved nature and she loved Neville, so she spent quite a lot of time there. Lily had a bit of trouble making friends in her first year, so she preferred the comfort of plants.
Hugo(Hufflepuff): Hugo was most excited for the train journey to Hogwarts, excited for the sweets trolley and a new adventure ahead of him. Hugo often gets nervous about things where they cannot predict the outcome, but there's a sense of comfort knowing Lily Luna and their sister Rose will be there also. A part of them knew they wouldn't be in the same house, but they had Roxanne too and there's nothing more important than family.
Lucy(Ravenclaw): Lucy, true to her Ravenclaw nature, wanted to join the Wizards Chess Club. She signed up on day one, and by the end of the first school term, was winning pretty much every match she played.
If you want to talk about writing or headcanons, send me an ask! :)
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hehron · 4 years
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Not A Harpy
Summary: Harry always makes Ginny feel better, even if they're not together. Just a little Hinny best friends/neighbours au I've wanted to post for a while now. Will likely be a three-shot.
Not A Harpy
"Whoa, you look like someone stole your piggy puff," Harry said, as he watched Ginny come up the stairs.
She gave him a blank look, before quietly making her way towards her apartment.
"Seriously, what's wrong? Ron threatened what's-his-name and embarrassed you again?" He asked, leaning against the door frame.
Ginny stopped. She hadn't even thought about Paul since the evening. He probably wouldn't even want to see her again, when he heard.
"Ginny?"
She turned to look at him, her lip trembling. He suddenly grew serious, taking two steps closer. "What's wrong?"
"I didn't get it," She said, swallowing hard.
"What?" Harry frowned.
"I didn't make the team." That was all it took for the tears she'd kept at bay for the past hour to break free.
"Oh," His eyes widened, his shock apparent on his face. This only made her sob harder.
"Come here," He said softly, bringing her into a hug. She tightened her arms around him, crying into his shoulder.
"Why? I mean, you're so good," He muttered before a thought occurred to him. "It's not- It's not because you're a blood traitor, is it?" He asked sharply.
"N-No," She sniffled. The thought had occurred to her, but she knew it wasn't the case. "The rest of them were that good. I wasn't- I couldn't- They flew better-"
"It's okay, it's okay," He comforted. "It'll be okay."
"Harry?" They broke apart to see Lisa Turpin waiting at the staircase. It was only then that Ginny realised he was dressed to go out.
"Hi, Lisa," Harry said awkwardly.
"Is everything all right?" Lisa asked, even though Ginny tried to surreptitiously wipe her tears. God, she hated crying.
"Oh, yeah, everything's fine," She gave a bland smile. "You two go ahead." She turned her keys and went inside before he could object.
"Um, is it okay if we skip tonight?" Harry asked, eyeing Ginny's closed door.
"Okay, but what's wrong with her?" Lisa asked.
"Nothing. Just things…"
"Well, aren't you sensitive all of a sudden!" She gave a little laugh. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow."
"Yeah, bye," He said as she left.
"All right, move over," Harry said, entering Ginny's apartment.
"I thought you were going on a date," Ginny said, glumly, lying on her sofa.
"Are you kidding? I've been trying to get out of it for ages," He said, sitting on the floor.
"Everything sucks."
"Yup, that's about right."
"No, I mean it," Ginny said, sitting up. "I don't get my dream job, and I can't even get drunk because Hermione threw away the rest of our alcohol after Susan's break up."
"Now that was an entertaining night," Harry held back a grin. "We certainly enjoyed it."
"Ugh, boys," She tsked, cracking a smile, which dropped as soon as her eyes landed on her forgotten broomstick.
"Hey, I know it sucks now, but it's going to work out."
She gave him a dubious look.
"So what if the Harpies didn't pick you? It's their loss. There are plenty of other teams who are dying to have you!"
"I guess the Tornadoes aren't that bad. Angelina's on it," She conceded. "Or PU."
"There you go! Oliver Wood is the captain. Shaping to be my favourite team."
"That's because you have a crush on Wood," She sniffed.
"Anyone who's spent five minutes with Oliver will realise liking him is like liking Hagrid's three-headed dog."
Ginny let out a watery laugh.
"And worse comes to worst, you can always play for the Canons," He teased. "Ron will be over the moon."
"God, no!" Ginny said at once. "There's no way I'll ever stoop to that level!"
She groaned suddenly, covering her face with her hands. "Oh, Harry, I made an ass of myself today!"
"Come on, you?"
"Yes!" She exclaimed, dropping her hands to her lap. "I acted cocky and cheeky and- Oh My God- I acted like myself. And I mean my overconfident, arrogant self, not the cheeky and endearing one."
"Yeah, none of us liked that version," Harry said solemnly.
"I'm serious!" She said, punching him lightly.
"Okay, okay," He chuckled. "Eh, just forget about it, Gin," He said, joining her on the couch and snaking an arm over her shoulder.
"I can't," She moaned, leaning against him. "I can't get some of the things I said out of my head. Harry! I told Gwenog Jones that I was going to kick her ass! The Gwenog Jones! Stop laughing. It's not funny!" She whacked his arm, though she was also grinning.
"Oh, I disagree. I can totally picture you doing that. What did she say?" He asked as his laughter subsidised.
"She told me she would kick mine, and she did," Ginny winced.
"Yikes! Still, it's a bigger accomplishment than many. How many others can say they got their asses kicked by Gwenog Jones?"
"I guess that's true," She shrugged.
"Yeah! I would kill to get my ass kicked by someone as awesome as Gwenog Jones!" Harry exclaimed.
"Wouldn't be too hard to do that," Ginny smirked.
"Younger seeker in a century, Gin-Gin."
"Oh, please, everyone knows Mcgonagall only put you on the team because she wanted to piss off Snape," She scoffed.
"I knew it was you who started that rumour!" Harry accused.
"It's not a rumour if it's true, Darling," She grinned.
"You're awful," He complained, and they lapsed into a comfortable silence.
"The worst thing is Hermione's going to rub it in my face," Ginny groaned after a while. "'I told you to be respectful, Ginny' or 'I told you not to be overconfident, Ginny' or 'You should have let me prep you, Ginny'," She said in a perfect imitation of her best friend, causing Harry to snigger.
"I shouldn't be telling you this, but," Harry leaned in to whisper. "Hermione only got an Acceptable on her Potions NEWT."
"No!" Ginny exclaimed, looking gleeful. "How is that possible?"
"Oh, she got cocky too. Rubbing it in that she was naturally talented while we needed help from the Prince's book."
"I know I should be sympathetic, but that makes me feel so much better," Ginny admitted.
"Everyone needs some leverage to counter the lectures, Gin. But I recommend only using it once."
"Ooh, what's the story there?"
"I tried using it twice, and she pulled out an alphabetised list of all the stupid things I'd done. Was not a pleasant experience."
Ginny cackled at this.
"You feeling better, then?" Harry asked.
"I guess," She shrugged. "Yeah, what the heck, I'll be fine. It's not the end of the world."
"Great. And it's not even seven. What do you wanna do?"
"A quick game would be nice," She said, looking outside.
"All right, but I won't go easy on you," Harry said with a straight face.
"Ha! Like I need you to go easy on me to beat you, loser."
"I see Mean Ginny's back," Harry grumbled.
"Oh yeah, and she's going to kick your cute little ass!" A threat she was able to follow through much to Harry's chagrin.
"Thanks, I had a great time, something I didn't think was possible today," Ginny
smiled as they walked back to their apartments.
"Well, you did get me out of an annoying date, so I guess I owed you one."
"Why don't you just dump her if she's so annoying?" She asked exasperatedly.
"And have all of you rub it in my face that I'm the only single one? Not a chance."
"Aw, come on, I'm dumping Paul before he dumps me, and I want company."
"Nice try, I'm not falling for that again," He snorted.
"Aw, Har, please?"
"Nope."
"Come on!"
"Nope."
"Why not?"
"Because guys will already be lining up to go out with you! Do you have any idea how hard it was for me to find someone who's not a fangirl?"
Her lips twitched. "You could try going out with muggles."
"Yeah, because that went so well for me last time," He said sarcastically.
"You just need to be more suave," She said, giving him many more useless suggestions before they reached the apartment, where the whole gang was gathered. And so an awful day ended on a high note, with Ginny feeling impossibly fond of her friends, well, one friend more than others.
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buoyantsaturn · 4 years
Text
A World Alone (10/10)
summary: Nico was ready to propose - now he just needed to figure out how. He convinces Will to celebrate Hanukkah for the first time in years. The problem is, Nico doesn't know anything about Hanukkah.
word count: 1,864
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Nico woke up to the feeling of Will draped across his back, pressing kisses all over the only side of Nico’s face he could reach. When he seemed to notice that Nico was finally awake, Will said, “Good morning, my future husband.” 
Nico tried to tuck his face into his pillow to hide the smile growing on his lips. “I haven’t even gotten used to fiance yet,” Nico grumbled, finding Will’s hand in the tangle of blankets around his waist and covering it with his own, “and you’re already skipping ahead to husband.”
“I’m just trying to get into the habit,” Will told him, trailing his lips down to Nico’s neck until they stopped to rest just above the collar of Nico’s shirt. “I mean, you never know when one of us might get tired of planning a wedding and decide to run to the courthouse instead.” 
Oh, Nico liked the sound of that. He started to roll back, at least as far as he could until Will got in his way, and turned his head to meet Will’s eyes. “Oh, that’s an option?” At Will’s grin, he turned over entirely and twisted their legs together beneath the bed sheets. “Then good morning, my husband.” 
Will’s arm tightened around him, pulling Nico even closer until their noses brushed together. “See, wouldn’t you rather get used to that?”
Nico hummed. “I can see the appeal. But I’m having a bit of a hard time picturing you with a courthouse wedding.” 
“It wouldn’t be my first choice, I’ll admit to that,” Will replied, “but it’ll be perfect either way. You know why?” 
Nico rolled his eyes. “Because you’ll be marrying--”
“I’ll be marrying you!” Will exclaimed with a blinding smile. “We can do whatever you want, whether it’s just us at the courthouse, or a small ceremony with our friends, or something huge with, like, two thousand people. I mean, I’ll need to meet a lot more people if that’s the case, but--”
“I think I’d like something small,” Nico told him, his fingers tracing the outline of the sun tattooed over Will’s heart. “If that’s okay.” 
“As long as you can promise me one thing,” Will said, and Nico hummed questioningly. “Small wedding, big reception.” 
Nico hesitated before replying, “How big is big?”
“How small is small?” Will shot back. “I’m thinking, maybe ten or fifteen people at the wedding, maybe a hundred people at the reception.” 
“Do we even know a hundred people?” Nico asked, his nose scrunching up with the question.
Will paused to think about it. “We...must, right? I mean, a hundred isn’t that many.” 
Nico’s face cracked into a smile once more. “Okay, we can figure out numbers later, once we establish how many people we actually know. For now, we should probably get ready to leave.”
Will got that sappy smile back on his face again that had Nico simultaneously melting at the sight and bracing himself for what was about to come next. “Back to the place where I fell in love with you,” Will said dreamily, then gasped when he got an idea. “We should get married at camp! It’s huge, always has great weather, a magical border that can keep out monsters - since there’s no doubt that it’ll be mostly demigods in attendance. It’ll be perfect.”
“We can think about it,” Nico told him, “for the reception. I’m still leaning toward the courthouse.” 
Will wore his Hanukkah sweater to camp despite the fact that Hanukkah had ended almost a week earlier. He insisted on wearing it as proof of how much Nico had spoiled him that month.
When they arrived at camp - driving there, because Will didn’t want to risk spending most of their stay in the infirmary with a half-conscious Nico - they dropped their bags off in the Hades cabin before crossing the green to cabin three. 
Percy and Annabeth were already inside, as well as Grover, Leo, and Rachel. As soon as Nico stepped through the door, Percy was on him, dragging him into a hug and taking him a few steps off to the side. He set his hands on Nico’s shoulders, practically bouncing on his toes as he whispered, “Did you do it? Did you, did you, did you?” 
Nico rolled his eyes, smiling fondly as he said, “Yeah, I did it.”
“Hell yeah!” Percy exclaimed and lifted Nico off his feet with the strength of his hug. “I’m so happy for you, dude!” 
When Percy finally set him back on his feet, Nico frowned, looking almost offended. “Woah, I never said that he said yes.” 
Percy looked like he was about to panic, but before he could say anything, Will slipped an arm around Nico’s waist and said, “He’s messing with you, Perce.” 
Percy’s eyes flickered between them. “So…”
Nico’s lips curved up into a smile. “We’re getting married.” 
“Dibs on best man!” Percy shouted, loud enough for the others in the cabin to hear. 
Nico’s eyes rolled on their own accord, and he shoved at Percy’s arm. “You got to help pick the ring, give somebody else a role.” 
“He spent a whole week buttering me up,” Will was telling everyone while Nico tried to hide his embarrassment in the corner of the room away from everybody else. A few others had arrived by then - Thalia and Reyna, Tyson and Ella, and Lou Ellen and Cecil. Hazel and Frank were expected to arrive the next day for Christmas Eve, and Piper had decided to spend the holiday with Shel’s family, so at most they were expecting an Iris Message from her at some point. “Obviously, I would’ve said yes either way, but it was sweet nonetheless.” 
“Aw, you hear that, Neeks?” Leo teased, drawing everyone’s attention across the room to Nico. “He thinks you’re sweet!” 
Nico’s arms tightened across his chest, and he pointed his glare at the wall. He was sure his face was already pink to begin with from the way that Will had been talking about him, but having everyone’s attention on him made it so much worse. They were definitely going to have a small wedding. 
“Can we see the ring?” Rachel asked, pulling everyone’s attention back to Will. Nico was going to have to thank her for that later. When Nico glanced back at the group, Rachel shot him a wink. 
Much later in the night, after the general excitement over the engagement announcement had faded to the background, Nico sat down beside Will on the couch and sunk into his side. Will draped an arm around his shoulders and pressed a kiss to the side of his head, whispering, “I didn’t embarrass you too much, did I?” 
“I’m mortified, and the wedding is off,” Nico grumbled into Will’s shoulder.
“You don’t mean that.” 
“I’m mortified, and the wedding will be at the courthouse,” Nico corrected. 
“Alright, I’ll take it.” Will kissed his temple once more. “I’m sorry. I won’t embarrass you anymore this weekend.” 
“No, you will,” Nico told him. “Once Hazel gets here tomorrow, you’ll do it all over again. But it’s okay, I forgive you in advance.” 
Will rubbed his arm a few times, quickly, like he was trying to warm him up. “Are you having fun otherwise?”
“Yeah, it’s been okay. I still want to catch up with Reyna since I haven’t seen her in…” 
Nico trailed off, his head tilting in confusion as his eyes followed Thalia across the room. She was suddenly decked out in fairy lights, wrapped in a garland and even wearing a tree-topper star on her head.
“Uh,” he started up again, “what’s going on?” 
Will laughed. “You know, because she used to be a pine tree.”
Nico shot up, spinning back toward Will and looking absolutely bewildered. “That wasn’t a joke?”
Seeing as they were back at camp, they did have to abide by the usual lights out rules if they wanted to avoid being attacked by harpies - not that any of them couldn’t manage to take down a harpy on their own at this point in their lives - so as the night wore on, they all went their separate ways to their different cabins. 
Nico and Will counted themselves lucky to have the Hades cabin to themselves, at least until Hazel and Frank were scheduled to arrive the next day. Unlike Cecil, neither of them had to try to cram into an open space in one of the other cabins with younger siblings. Nico and Will, on the other hand - just like Reyna and Thalia - had plenty of space to spread out. 
(Unlike Reyna and Thalia, Nico and Will didn’t take a vow to be single forever, and would therefore not be taking advantage of the extra space to spread out.)
When Nico came out of the bathroom after brushing his teeth, he found Will standing beside the bed, pulling back the sheets, dressed head-to-toe in a monochromatic brown. 
“I thought you promised that thing would never leave the apartment!” Nico exclaimed with a gasp, causing Will to jump and turn toward him, his Chewbacca onesie on full display. 
Will pointed an accusing finger at him. “And I thought you promised to leave all card games at home.” 
Nico spluttered. “I didn’t bring them!” 
In the dim light of the cabin, Will found Nico’s backpack on the ground and lifted it up. The main pocket was mostly unzipped, and the single lit torch on the wall gave off just enough light for Nico to see the few packs of games resting inside. Nico winced at the sight. 
“Okay, new deal: nothing leaves this cabin,” Nico said, then added, “except when we go home.” 
“Deal,” Will said, and climbed into bed. The only two beds in the cabin were pushed up against opposite walls, so Will had to crawl across the queen size mattress in order to make room for his fiance.
Nico stood beside the bed, arms crossing with a hmph. “I’m not sleeping next to you in that thing.” 
Will grinned up at him as he laid back against his pillow. “But it’s so cozy, and weirdly furry.” 
Nico stood his ground. Will simply shrugged back.
“Alright, suit yourself.” He pulled the blanket up to his shoulders and settled in, sighing contentedly and shutting his eyes. A few moments later, just as Nico was starting to reconsider the risks of brushing up against Chewbacca fur in his sleep, Will groaned and shoved the blankets away. “Okay, never mind, I’m sweating.” In a few quick movements, he had unzipped the onesie and stripped down to his underwear, then practically kicked the thing off the foot of the bed. 
Nico rolled his eyes at the overdramatics. “Here, maybe this will help,” he said, and reached down to press his cold fingers to the side of Will’s neck. 
He cringed at the feeling, nearly crushing Nico’s hand between his cheek and his shoulder with the force of his movement. “Dear gods, you’re freezing,” Will exclaimed. “Get in here!” He grabbed Nico by the arms and pulled him down to the bed before covering them both with the blanket and holding Nico close to warm him up.
thanks for reading!!
buy me a coffee | more solangelo stuff
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lizacstuff · 4 years
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Hi! What did you think of ep23?I love your in depth thoughts on the episodes. I really enjoyed it, especially the EdSer moments (was smiling like an idiot during the skating scene - when Eda complained about it being hot (girl same), and also that she understood what he said in French omg). I hope the grandmother doesn't turn out to be as evil as everyone is assuming. I guess the one big con was Ayfer. She's gotten more annoying right? That's not just me? But I love me some Aydan!
Hello! Thank you for the kind words. Let's see, I did like the episode, but as I said in another ask I was a bit on edge while watching for a couple of reasons, but they're all Edser related so I'll talk about that when I talk about them at the end. As far as Ayfer is concerned, I FEEL YOU. 
Good grief, woman. Why does she have to be such a harpy? It feels like she complains about absolutely everything. Plus, she's forcing a situation where her beloved niece can't trust or confide in her, and all the girls have to hide Eda's work schedule from her. Look, if Ayfer doesn't want to spend time with Aydan, fine, but her anger towards and disapproval of Eda's job and her relationship with Serkan are completely selfish. She may tell herself she's disapproving for Eda's own good, but come on.
Because, seriously, what does Ayfer think she's protecting Eda from? Serkan is handsome, rich, successful and head over heels in love with Eda. Let's be honest, Eda could do worse. He might be a tad arrogant and controlling, but he's a very good man with a very good heart. Also he tries with Ayfer. I get the connection with Alptekin is upsetting, but Serkan and Aydan have cut him completely out of their lives and neither had anything to do with what happened. I also get that Ayfer was put off by the whole contract thing, but it took two to tango there, and Eda's entire world opened up because of that arrangement.
Maybe that's the problem? 
(more under the cut)
Maybe Ayfer can feel Eda expanding and growing and her world getting much bigger than Ayfer's and it scares her? She thinks she'll lose her, or won't recognize her? Privately, Serkan and Eda have talked about running away together, maybe Ayfer senses that's a possibility? (PRO TIP: Then don't be a negative force they have to get away from!) 
Also what's happening with this Chef Alexander thing? Is he actually going to make an appearance? Is there going to be a romance? I think that would be good, maybe that will salvage Ayfer's character and she'll get distracted and maybe even happy. I did laugh, though, at her her calling Aydan and Seyfi out on their lie about having him on board with their charity scheme. They should know better than to try that. Amateur move, kids!  But I will always applaud their matchmaking efforts when it comes to Eda and Serkan. 
I enjoyed the girls this episode. I like that they don't share Ayfer's concerns about Serkan and are ready to go to the mat for whatever Eda wants. Poor Melo is the worst detective, but she gets points for trying. Also points for picking up what Eda was putting down and skillfully sweeping Balca and her broken heel out of the way. I'd want Fifi for protection as well, girl is badass. I can't tell what this Fifi/Erdem thing is supposed to be.  Does she have a soft spot for him, she must because I don't know why she would give him the time of day otherwise. She's not one we have to worry about not being able to say no. If she wanted to rid herself of his presence, she'd do it. Ceren and Ferit are just kind of... there. I don't dislike it, but I also don't really care. They need something to spice that up.
Which is what we finally got with Engin and Piril! Holy moly, who is her dad!?! Mafia boss? Politician? Wealthy recluse? @alicekepley suggested on another post that maybe it's Aydan's first love. Now that would be interesting. Maybe he turned to a life of crime after being disappointed by Aydan? I am now looking forward to see how this plays out and how it affects them. However, there's one thing that gets me almost every episode. I love Engin and Anil, but he looks at least a decade older than Serkan, Piril, and Selin. So much so that I don't buy they could have gone to school together. This is where I'll have to call on my well honed suspension of disbelief I guess... I'll tell myself he spent a lot of time in the sun and is graying a bit prematurely. 
I did like Engin and Serkan sitting around commiserating about their relationships and hoping things were about to turn around. That's the more equal buddy talk I want to know happens. 
Speaking of Serkan, duuuuuuuuude. You're being hunted, wise up!  I'm really stuck on what he said to Sirius after Eda left his house at the top of the episode. "Don't look at me like that, everything is under control, I know perfectly well what I'm doing, this is my tactic." We know from last episode he thought Eda would show, and this episode while talking to Eda he told her that he was expecting her and the candles were for her.  So... did he purposely allow Balca in to provoke Eda's jealousy? If so, I'm not sure this is his best course of action. It's certainly not with regards to fanning Balca's dangerous pretensions, but I'm not sure he's getting his best result with Eda either. It's true that it gave him an excuse to flirt, make the bet, tease her, bask in her obvious jealousy even if she won't admit it, and get a Parisian date out of it. I suppose that's not a bad day's work. On the other hand, if he'd sent Balca on her way, he would have had a happy Eda, in his house, sitting on the couch next to him, watching a movie with him, which also could have led to a very good place for him.  
It's also a mystery to me if Serkan is really clueless about Balca's intentions, or if he's playing dumb to suit his own purposes with Eda. I'm thinking it's the middle. He probably sees it but thinks it's a whole lot more harmless than it is. Like maybe he gets Balca has a crush on him, but he has no suspicion that he's in dangerous fatal attraction territory. Which is where we are. I don't want to fling words like 'crazy' around, but... bitch be crazy! If she is capable of trying to large-scale sabotage his company in her pursuit of him, that's some seriously scary stuff. WAKE UP, SERKAN. 
I said I was uneasy while watching this episode and part of it was concern over what would happen with the tender, and worrying if Balca's sabotage was going to work, leaving Eda to blame. If that had gone the other way, the fallout would have been painful. Also storylines where a fav is falsely accused always make me antsy. I was able to handle the Serkan roof collapse one because it was at the end of the episode, and they were able to figure out that he wasn't responsible right off the top of the next. But this one had me on edge all ep.  I was especially nervous after Eda made the independent report on her recommended firm part of a trust test. Sweetie, I love you, but NOOOOO. That was not the move of a professional. Serkan, as the company principle, wanting to vet a partner or vendor is completely normal and has nothing to do with how much he trusts her. Put aside the fact that she's only been in the workforce for a few months, you always want a second set of eyes on something that important. Always. She showed some of her immaturity there, which is fine, she's young and inexperienced, but it's a sign of how desperate Serkan is for her to forgive him that he humored her. That man will do anything for her, even if it doesn't make sense or is potentially damaging. I get why the writer's did it, for the suspense of Eda being out on that limb all on her own, but it was also actually a bit of a missed opportunity for him to mentor her there. (And I love when she learns from him.)
The other reason I was uneasy watching this ep was due to some frustration with Eda. See above on the trust test, but it was also a little hard to watch her just completely succumb to Serkan's charm and be in the moment with him one moment, and then the next second shake it off and be adamant that she was going to be leaving the job and him shortly.  It felt like constant whiplash. Also if she won the bet she wanted him to leave her alone? Sure, Jan. She could have asked for something really good! We all know she doesn’t really want him to leave her alone, so that pretense has gotten harder and harder to take. However, the times she rebuffed him didn't bother me as much as when she told Melo she was leaving the job. I can chalk up the ones to Serkan as part of her act, trying to protect herself and poke holes in his pretensions, but when she said it to Melo it felt more real. Like that was really what she was still planning to do, and it's really hard to reconcile that with all the moments where she puts down her guard and it's obvious she's madly in love with him.  
On a positive note, scenes where it’s clear they’re madly in love with each other were plentiful this episode. The romantic robot used every opportunity he could find to make her melt. My GAWD she has a will of iron that she was able to back away from him after he recited all the ways he could tell if a woman (her) was in love with him. He is one smooth bastard. And boy does he know her, he knows exactly what he does to her. That scene was FIRE. Not to be crass, but how did they not do it right then and there? After the last few eps, they have to be at a 100 on a scale of 1-10 when it comes to pent up sexual energy. Hey Eda, maybe you wouldn't be so jealous if you knew he had an outlet for that. I'm just sayin'.
The lunch was pretty funny and I definitely enjoyed the kicking and the under the table conversation. After refusing to admit she was jealous, Eda totally deserved that Serkan said that whatever Balca's feelings for him were, they were between him and Balca. Eeesh. I see what he's doing, he's trying to bring her feelings out into the open, and she deserves it, but I don't think he realizes how vulnerable she is over everything. He's walking a tightrope here. However, I do appreciate that he finally just admitted that he's jealous. If he'd just done that in 18, he would have saved himself some angst. Are we to infer from Serkan asking Eda not to use emojis with Efe, that Edser likes to use emojis when they text? Or was that just a generic, "don't be cute with him?"  I think I'll take that Serkan and Eda use emojis, just because it tickles me to think of Serkan Bolat doing that. All of shipper twitter thinks that's the writers poking at the actors because of how much they use them with one another on social. Who knows, maybe that explains it, since it sort of came out of the blue. You gotta love, though, that every manipulative thing Balca did either failed or backfired spectacularly. Showing up at his place, sure she succeeded in upsetting Eda and derailing their night, but it also put Eda on her guard and brought about the flirty wager between Eda and Serkan. She left the earring, but Eda found it before she could use it as an excuse to return. She broke her heel, but that just gave her a ruined pair of shoes and Melo an excuse to get her out of there so Serkan and Eda could be alone. She and her devious friend succeeded in throwing Melo and Eda off the scent, however all that meant was that Serkan won the bet and gave him the pretense needed to get her to agree to the most romantic date on the planet. She sabotaged the report, but Eda still found out about the company's background and Eda was the hero when ArtLife won the tender. Balca: 0 percent success rate so far. 
THE ICE SKATING SCENES WERE PURE MAGIC!  It was fun to see the whole cast out there having a blast, but obviously it was the Edser scene at night that lit up the whole show. Damn was that pretty. (it's currently my ipad lock screen and home screen) The chemistry between the actors was on display all episode, but here it just exploded. When Eda said she was hot, no kidding! How could you not be? And I agree that Serkan speaking French to her was OMG. Love, love, love the date that Serkan planned for them in Paris. I'm bereft that we'll likely never see it. Damn you pandemic, look what you've taken from us! The characters, and the audience, deserve an entire episode of Paris romantic fluff. We've all earned this! 
The date sounded perfect and I found it very interesting that he had purposely never been to Montmartre. So at some point he promised himself he'd only go there with a woman he was truly in love with, makes me wonder if it was a much younger Serkan who made that promise. The Serkan we met in the pilot didn't believe in love, he was hard-hearted, he actually talked with Engin about how a contract, a bloodless business transaction, was the way to go for relationships. Robot Bolat. So I don't think he made that idealistic promise any time recently. If so, that means he's had that in the back of his mind for years, but Eda's the only woman he's ever considered taking. My heart. I love how the show keeps showing us and telling us that this is the first time Serkan has ever been in love. You could see in that scene that Eda was right there with him. She was so happy and in the moment and swept away by the romance. She was as excited for Paris as he was. I know we all wanted a kiss/declaration here, it would have been a very good moment for it. A very good one. But the show has other plans for them, so we wait.
So, yeah, I really liked the Edser we got, but Eda’s hot and cold act was hard to reconcile at times. However, perhaps it all came together in the end, when she's talking to Melo and Ceren about Paris. She was feeling troubled over it, probably what agreeing to go with him meant, but they both told her to listen to her heart in Paris and it seems like she was going to do it: "From now on I'll stop worrying. I'm opening a new page in life." So I think in that moment she was ready for next steps and was planning to be open with him in Paris, let's hope it carries over to the next episode even without Paris. 
Actually, that whole conversation was a bit of a window into her psyche and was more illuminating than almost anything in the episode in that regard. When Eda says she’s worried, Melo teases her that she's nervous to be alone with Serkan Bolat, and then jokes that all young women would like to have that problem, including herself.  Eda does NOT like that joke and actually verbalizes it, "Melo, at least you don't do that."  That was a huge spotlight into Eda's insecurities, like she is really discombobulated by witnessing women showing interest in him while they're in such a nebulous place. Since she is coming off of what happened with Selin, and was already feeling jealous when the first candidate set her off with (her creepy) talk of chemistry last episode, then finding Balca at Serkan's house in the opening scene, I suppose it's no surprise that all of that has had some residual effects. But that it's to the point where she can't take a joke from Melo is telling. Poor thing.  
My hope is that this is just something she's working through while she's feeling off-kilter about everything. It would be one thing if they were together, but she's in this headspace where half the time she says she's leaving and it's over between them and half the time she acting like his wife, so I think she's just discombobulated. Maybe she just wants time to figure things out, but feels like she doesn’t have it, because someone is going to swoop in and take her place and that’s feeding her jealousy? The fact that Serkan can’t see it (Selin and Balca) until it’s out of control doesn’t help. 
It's natural for her to be upset that this woman has entered the scene and is clearly trying to maneuver herself into Eda's place in Serkan's life. However, there is an easy fix to this. Just go be with him. Come on, Eda, we know you can do it! You're ready. You’re primed. Bring on the New Year's Ep!
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