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#because that's not how I try to be or the intentions I have and I hate being misunderstood
woso-dreamzzz · 14 hours
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Injured (Alba's Version) IV
Alexia Putellas x Teen!Reader
Summary: The aftermath
*TW: parental neglect, aftermath of suicide*
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It takes Alexia nearly a week until she realises you're missing.
You're self-sufficient and independent. You've never needed much and it's not weird for Alexia to not see you for days on end.
You come home from whatever you spend your days doing and go straight to your room.
You make your own meals, she's pretty sure because she never has to make extra. Just enough for a family of three. Two when Olga is away from work.
It's a fleeting thing really, the only way that she realises you've disappeared.
She knocks on your door, intent on finally having that conversation about what you're planning on doing with your future.
There's no answer.
"Now's not the time to sulk, y/n," She calls through the door," If you don't come out then I'm coming in!"
Still silence.
"One! Two!"
Alexia doesn't wait for three, shoving open the door.
She expects to see you on your bed, sulking or whatever it is you do when she's not around.
You're not there though.
Your bed is made. Your clothes are packed away.
There's nothing out of place. Nothing to prove that this room was even really yours apart from a few neat stacks of paper on your desk.
Alexa glances over them, frowning as if they'd give her the answer to where you've gone.
She's been home since last night, the first one up and awake in the house. There's no way you could have snuck past her.
"Jaume!" She yells out," Where's your sister?"
"I don't know! Out with friends or something?"
That's odd.
Alexia can't remember the last time you mentioned a friend to her. To be honest, Alexia can't remember the last time the two of you actually had a conversation.
She shuffles through the papers on your desk.
Yes, she thinks, you must be with friends because there's three tickets to a ballet performance on Saturday.
You must be wanting to take them with you.
It's only when Alexia sits up that night, waiting for you to come home, that she gets the sinking feeling you're not coming back.
She waits for hours until the early hours of the next morning and the sun begins to rise before panic lances through her chest.
You've not come home.
She checks her phone, wondering if she missed a text saying you would stay at a friend's house but there's nothing.
She checks your room, just to see if you've climbed in through the windows but they're locked.
You are nowhere.
She pulls Jaume out of school for the day. She calls Olga to come home from Madrid.
She scours all of the places she thinks you hang out but you're nowhere to be seen.
It's almost like you've never existed in the first place.
The call comes in the evening.
It's Alba.
"I can't talk right now," Alexia says after two missed calls," I'm-"
"I'm sorry," Alba says instead.
"What?"
"I'm sorry." Alba chokes her words out like they're so physically painful she can barely say them. Like she's so numb that even talking is difficult. "I tried but..."
"Alba? What's happened? Listen, I really can't talk right now. I'm-"
"I really did try. They did too but it was already too late."
"Alba, what is going on?"
"We should go to the hospital," Alba says," I'll send you which one."
In the deepest pit of her chest, Alexia already knows what has happened. In some deep, dark part of her, she's known since Alba called. In the worst, most hidden piece of herself, Alexia has known since the beginning.
It's an awful thing for an aunt to see.
It's a terrible thing for a brother to see.
It's even worse for a mother to see.
A picture goes up at the ballet company.
(Alexia didn't even know you joined one).
It's of you smiling, the headhsot that they used on the website, displayed proudly in the main foyer.
'Rest In Peace' sits under it and a little plaque with your name and how long you lived. It states your interests with no hint about trains at all. It talks about your reserved disposition but mentions how you endeared yourself to everyone.
Flowers sit under it, bouquets upon bouquets from the dancers and the staff and audience members who have seen you perform.
(Alexia has never been to a performance once).
Support pours in from people Alexia hasn't spoken to in years. Old coaches. Old teammates. Old friends.
Everyone seems to have a fond memory of you but all Alexia can think about is the last words she said to you.
She can't remember them.
She can't remember what she said or how she felt or what she was doing.
There is a gap in her memory from that moment.
Everyone talks about you so fondly, with such clarity that Alexia can't replicate.
You have gone on a wisp of breeze and Alexia is left trying to catch the impossible.
Her mind circles around herself, trying to work out where this all went wrong.
She loved you. She loved you so much.
Her beautiful baby girl who was a little nervous and a little quiet but beautiful all the same.
The little girl who loved trains and ballet and doing all the super feminine stuff that Alexia had to learn when she was a bit older.
The people around her tell stories of you, like Ingrid talking about how you used to love having her braid your hair back but Alexia sits there numb.
She's been numb since she saw your body in the hospital morgue.
She's been numb since the funeral where you lay in your coffin, perfectly peaceful like you were taking a long sleep.
She's been numb since they all returned to Eli's house for food and drink to celebrate your life.
Alba is not talking to her, has not talked to her outside what is needed since she called.
Alexia hasn't even noticed, too preoccupied with the realisation that she's a mother that just had to bury her daughter.
It was not a disease that took you. It was not a heart attack. It was not a random attack on the street.
It was you.
You made this decision, decided that this world was not worth living in anymore. That you could no longer cope with everything happening around you.
Things that Alexia has no knowledge on and, now, will never have any knowledge on.
You thought that this path was better than returning home.
You thought that everything would be better, more peaceful if you took your life away.
People have been cautious around Alexia, seeing just how close she is to tears.
She didn't cry during the funeral when you were lowered down into the ground with nothing but a neat blouse and a skirt.
Nothing to take with you now that you're gone.
Olga had to pack your things away in your room because Alexia could not force herself to even step through the doorway.
Your things are gone.
You are gone.
And Alexia will never know why.
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gods-perfect-idiots · 18 hours
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Okay bear with me folks, I have some ~thoughts~ about the Vanessa/Wade relationship (or frankly lack thereof) in Deadpool & Wolverine. I should start by saying that I am analyzing this with the (likely erroneous) assumption that everything on screen is 100% intentional and mindfully written to deepen the characters and inform their arcs. For the record, I don't necessarily believe that's true - there is certainly room for mistakes, lazy writing, confusing plot elements, or in this case, sidelining a potentially strong and important character for nebulous reasons (I'm guessing scheduling conflicts + run time concerns + actor's strike complications but idk for sure). (Also thanks to @gossippool and @kendyroy for encouraging me to post my thoughts instead of just rambling in the tags in the first place, y'all are the realest)
Long rambly post below the cut fyi
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Now, granted, it has been a while since I watched the original Deadpool so I am not as well-versed in their early relationship as I am in the handful of scenes Morena Baccarin has in dp3, but I do think it is pretty canon that Wade generally struggles to express his deeper worries and feelings (without filtering it heavily through crude humor, sex, and pop culture references of course), especially after the events of dp1 and the physical and mental damage he sustains, and Vanessa is frankly no exception despite how much he cares for her. The entire first movie hinges on the fact that he doesn't really believe she could love him in his post-Francis mangled state, which is pretty contrived imo given that the film has established already how bonded they are, and she doesn't strike me as being written to be so shallow as to reject him based on a physical deformity. I mean iirc she wanted to stick around through chemo despite him being literally riddled with inoperable cancer, so she clearly is in it for the long haul (at least in dp1), messiness and all.
Now, in dp2, obviously she is shot and killed early in the film, and Wade spends much of the rest of the film wallowing in his very profound grief, trauma, and guilt over losing her due directly to his violent lifestyle. He goes to prison, he basically gives up on life and seems very resigned to dying once he has the power suppressant collar on, even excited to do so so he can be reunited with her. She is mostly sidelined as a Fuzzy Dead Wife trope basically, but the important thing here is that he spends weeks if not months in the throes of despair over losing the love of his life just as they were trying to start a family, and trying to reach across the boundaries of death to be with her.
Now, my first couple times watching dp3 I was frustrated by the trite narrative presented in the interview scene towards the beginning - specifically Wade's whole "my girl is getting tired of my shtick and I need to show her I matter". It felt contrived and disingenuous, and I just brushed it off as iffy writing, a means to an end, but the more I reflect upon it the more I think it is based in an emotional reality that is just handled with a very light touch by the film in favor of fanservice and Poolverine content (NOT that I'm complaining in the slightest - I think this movie is a masterpiece in many ways, albeit a flawed one but that's beside the point here), which for the record I am not against because I think it lends it an air of realism. This is Wade's story after all, Vanessa is a part of it but it is ultimately about him and his journey.
Basically, I think the combination of what happened to him in dp1 (the brain damage, the trauma, the awareness of the fourth wall, etc) followed by the events of dp2 (Vanessa's death, his grief and the associated guilt and trauma of being the direct cause of her death) led to an unbridgeable emotional gap between the two of them that ultimately leads to their breakup.
It's important to note that I don't think Vanessa has any recollection of her own death, given that Wade goes back and saves her before she can take the bullet, and so of course she can never fully fathom what Wade went through grieving her and their life together and their potential family, for however long he spent between her death and bringing her back with Cable's device. She can try (and she clearly does in the one scene I'll talk about next) but I fear she accepts, maybe even in that scene, that she can never succeed. He is beyond her reach by this point, and vice versa, his experiences having fundamentally changed him.
The one scene we really see from their relationship between dp2 and dp3 is the one where Cassandra mind-gropes Wade in the Void and we see Vanessa struggling to reach Wade across this aforementioned gap - she wants him to open up, she wants him to share what he's going through, she wants him to be the person she initially fell in love with (not even selfishly - to her nothing has changed really, because to her no time has passed). But not only does he not understand what she's really asking for but he responds in such a way that makes me think he has unprocessed issues that are only tangentially related to what she's saying - ie the stuff about mattering, about asking her if she even wants to be with him, etc. And he's not the Wade Wilson she met back in dp1 anymore. He watched her die and grieved her and brought her back, believing it would make everything go back to normal and they could resume their life together as if nothing had changed, but he has been fundamentally changed in a way that she can't grasp, even if he WAS good at externally processing his trauma openly without the artifice of wry jokes. She didn't "come back wrong" - instead, she came back exactly the same as before, but HE'S different now. Not wrong, per se. But changed.
It's an interesting scene because it's obviously a memory, and a crucial one at that, but you can see how Wade is misunderstanding what she's saying, viewing it through the prism of his own lack of self-worth and his own hopelessness - he takes away that she thinks he doesn't matter (even though like he says she didn't actually say that, but I don't think Cassandra invented that wholecloth - I think she pulled it out of his psyche because that's what he believes deep down, hence why his fixation on mattering even though she never said those words exactly), he takes away that she doesn't want to be with him, that she thinks he's nothing. Which would be frustrating as an audience member to witness as a pretty simple misunderstanding which could potentially be solved with one conversation, but it feels believable to me that these two people who have shared a great love would be fundamentally separated by unimaginable, cosmic trauma, and the on conversation they would need to have to rectify the misunderstanding is one that is impossible for Wade to verbalize and equally impossible for Vanessa to conceive of. It was one thing when they had shared trauma like violence and SA in dp1, but what Wade has gone through in dp1 and dp2, humor aside, is unfathomably traumatic, brain-breakingly so even, and that's not even factoring in the possible mental illnesses he now struggles with (I've seen folks suggest schizophrenia, DID, depression, etc. but I won't get into armchair diagnosing a fictional character here - suffice it to say he is canonically unwell as a result of what has happened to him, and yes it manifests as quirky fourth wall breaks and cheeky one-liners, but within the universe of the movies he is undeniably profoundly mentally ill, and that includes this humorous alter ego he created to cope with his trauma).
I think off-screen Vanessa probably really tried to reach him, maybe for years (the six year gap implies to me that they didn't break up immediately, that they tried for a while to stay together), trying to get her Wade back, but that Wade is gone. He struggled to express that to her until eventually he started to feel rejected because he couldn't express his trauma or how much he has changed, because even he can't fully conceive of the gulf that has formed between them. The truth is, he WANTS to be that Wade again, for her and for himself, but that Wade died when she died. Or maybe he had already started dying when Francis got a hold of him in dp1.
Anyway, all this is to say, I think Morena Baccarin WAS criminally underutilized in dp2 and dp3, but I think there is a strong argument to be made for the believability of their breakup regardless. I think even relationships built on enormous love can crumble due to trauma, and what Wade suffers over these movies is mind-bogglingly enormous trauma. It's especially heartbreaking that he blames himself for their relationship ending, talks like she just got tired of him, thought he didn't matter, whatever. But it is a credit to him that he never seems to feel anger towards her about it. He doesn't seem to feel entitled to her, though he longs for her and what they had and what she represented (hope, love, a future, a family), but ultimately she becomes more of a symbol of what he lost when he gained his powers, because let's be super fr right now - even if they had succeeded in having a baby, not only would they have lived in fear of her or the kid getting killed, but ultimately Wade would likely outlive both of them even if they managed to die natural deaths. The moment he gained his powers he was already destined to lose her, which is heartbreaking because she was the only reason he opted for the treatment in the first place - so he could stay with her.
I think a big part of Deadpool & Wolverine is watching Wade continue to process his own motivations (vis-a-vis Vanessa but also his other friends) and how he does eventually let go of the idea of "mattering" in favor of just saving the people he cares about (*cough* and being saved right back *cough* by Wolvie, as the final line and shot implies). And in the process he finds someone new who cares about him, who thinks he matters, who tries to sacrifice himself for him and his friends after mere days of knowing him, who comes home with him at the end of the story, who breaks his own centuries-old patterns, who has also experienced unimaginable grief and trauma, who has struggled with wanting to die and being unable to, who not only matches his crazy but matches his FREAK and also not only won't die on him but CAN'T die on him - and more importantly cannot be randomly killed by a stray bullet.
Idk if any of this makes much sense but I do think if you read between the lines and consider the potency of trauma and grief, guilt and emotional damage at play here, Vanessa and Wade's off-screen breakup is actually pretty realistic, and really heart-breaking to boot.
You can tell she still cares about him in so many ways - she shows up for his birthday party, she shows up to his welcome home party at the end, she finds excuses for physical contact multiple times, her eyes get soft when she looks at him, but there is a distance there that Morena Baccarin does an incredible job of portraying. She cares about him deeply, she has mourned the loss of their potential life together, she has let him go and accepted that the Wade she fell in love with is gone, but she wants him in her life even though she's moving on because she realizes he's gone somewhere she can't follow (literally and figuratively). And she wants him to be happy which is why I fully believe she would immediately clock the Poolverine of it all and not-so-subtly encourage them to make it official.
Anyway. Poolverine forever. Nothing against Vanessa at all - I think she delivers a nuanced and beautiful performance, I think their relationship is sweet and heart-wrenching in large part due to her acting chops, especially given how little she is given to work with - but I think their relationship was sadly doomed from almost the very start, because Wade becomes this traumatized superhuman and Vanessa would always be at risk in his orbit, but also would always on the outside of his multiverse superhero experiences. I think it's weirdly beautiful, even if I am filling in a lot of gaps and giving the writers maybe undue credit.
Anyway... thoughts? Please DM me or write in the tags, I am feral about this movie and just want to talk about it with anyone haha. If you have further insight into these characters too I'd love to hear it - I am by no means an expert in these movies or characters!
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thedivinetarot · 1 day
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Put your white tennis shoes on and follow me, why work so hard when can just be free
How do you lure people in?
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☆ How to chose the perfect pile for you?
1) Close your eyes.
2) Clear your mind.
3) Take a deep breathe.
4) Ask the question in your head. Open your eyes and the picture that you are drawn to the most is your pile.
☆ Note:
- This is a general reading, so please take what resonates and leave what doesn't.
- I usually do an energy check for each pile so that the reading can resonates as much as possible.
- This reading is kind of long. Since it is divided into 4 sections. And each section shows a question including the energy check.
Take care ❤
Arya
1) How do you view yourself?
2) How do you lure people in?
3) How do you lure your romantic interest in?
Pile 1 - Under the moonlight
Your current energy
Well, in this pile I see that there's two energies. The first one is that there's a person in your life who is interested in you romantically. He might have scorpio placements or water placements (Cancer, Scorpio and pisces). I see that you are not seeing clearly the situation which is making you feel stuck and stagnant. I see that the other case here is that there's a person in your life or will enter soon who have the placements I mentioned above. At first, you are not going to trust him because you had your fair share of heartbreak. I see that you are going or you are doubting his feelings for you. I see that you think that there's a heartbreak after all this happiness and genuine feelings which is so sad honestly. What I see from the cards is that this person have a very stable feelings for you. But he is either too cold to express them or he have an avoidant attachment style. I see that this person's intentions towards you are very genuine. He want to be in a platonic relationship with you. He want to protect you and support you. I don't honestly see anything harmful coming from that person. The only thing that might sabotage this relationship is you pile 1. I think you are too afraid to be vulnerable and open up to them which keeping you stuck and away from love and happiness. You fear the heartbreak even though that person have literally your best interest at heart. Okay, another energy I'm picking up on is that this pile are working on a project and I literally feel like my mid to lower back is hurting me so bad. Maybe you are putting too much pressure on your physical body which is leading you to feel this way. Or metaphorically; you may be having a lot of assignments and projects for your college/ school or work which is keeping you restless and tired. I see that you are working with a group of people but the main focus is on you idk why. Also I feel like you are working out in a very harsh way which is giving you this pain your back pile 1. Some people here feel pain in their hips and pelvis area too. I literally feel that on my body. Try to rest, drink some herbal tea, read a book and disconnect from the internet. Go out for a walk under the sun (Idk if you live in cold or warm climate but anyways 🥲). Now let's get into the reading.
1- How do you view yourself?
So, this pile see themselves as people who lack foresight and decisiveness. I see that you guys are aware of your own potential but due to laziness and being discouraged by your life circumstances you chose to leave the battle without even trying to fight back. I see that you chose to surrender to whatever life have offered you. You could be a new school graduate who doesn't want to go to college due to your financial state. I see that also this pile are quite mature emotionally. You are a bit nostalgic to your childhood and how things were safe. I see also that you are for whatever reason; you think that your life will change like magic. I will explain to you. You see those movies where the girl lives her WHOLE life thinking she is an ordinary person but then someone tells her that she is a decent queen or princess and her life turn around 180°?(princess diaries movie is a reference here) I feel like this pile want change so bad but at some point you gave up to try and change anything. Like you lost your passion to live or even that your life will improve. I see that you are someone who is very artistic, someone who is very spiritual too. You like traveling, you like learning about different cultures. You like to educate yourself instead of scrolling endlessly on IG or tiktok. But I see that there's still hope for you. Also, what I'm seeing that this pile are quite innocent and if not then you are someone who always feel this sense of nostalgia. You feel nostalgic to people, to places, you always have something to reminisce over. Another thing I'm picking up on is that people in this group are quite motherly. They like taking care of people especially young children. You like setting with them, you like how sweet they are. You might tell yourself that you want to become a mother one day. Some people here view themselves as a gate to heaven. How so? Like you see this person who enters your life and their life change for better? I'm picking up on people with esfj, enfj, infj, isfj, estj mbti. Someone who changes people, who fix them. Who can show them the great future that await them if they change. Pile 1 you see yourself as a catalyst to change.
2-How do you lure people in?
First thing I'm picking up on is that this pile appear stable in front of people. You look put together and elegant. I see that even if you do not wear the best clothes you have people still think that what you are wearing is expensive. I see also that you appear quite heartbroken, there's this melancholic aura around you. Another thing is this pile are quite mysterious by nature. You do not overshare yourself and you keep people thirsty for more. You appear also quite faint? You see those people who are enigmatic? Their hair color is very high in contrast with their skin. There's this aura of mystery around you, which make many people wonder. "Who is she/he?" I am seeing that you are quite magnificent. In the previous paragraph I typed that you view yourself and someone who is innocent and sweet, people also view you like that pile one. They view you as someone who is lovely to be with, especially new friends or people who want to be your friend. They get so excited and happy when you are around. Also, I see that people view you as someone with many potential. You literally know that and you see it in yourself. You know that you have so much potential in you. People in your company feel in awe honestly. You make people also aware of thir beauty and potential. You see beauty everywhere you go. People also see that your views and opinions on the world are quite interesting. You see things in different light and you make people see what they was not able to see before. You appear as a lone wolf to people. You are always alone in public enjoying a drink or walking. You presence is so liked by others. I see beauty and brains yo you could be someone who is blessed by beauty and also smart soo (lucky you pile 1).
3- How do you lure your romantic interest in?
People who are romantically interested in you see that you have many options. That's why they do not dare to make a move on you. I see that many People crush on you but they fear coming in out of rejection. They fear getting rejected by you pile 1. Also I see that you appear as someone who is content on their own and you do not really want someone out of neediness. You want them because you like them That's why. I see that, you might have stalkers. People in this pile might have got stalked online or physically. I see that because of your mysterious aura People really get curious about you. I see that this pile attracts older men. Like if you are in your 20s you might notice that men who are in their 40s and 50s are attracted to you. And if you are a guy reading this then women really get intrigued by you, especially if they are older. I also see that you always have an option but you chose to stay alone because you think that working on yourself or studying is what really matters. I see that romantic interests tend to view you as someone who is out of their league, someone very nurturing. They may call you wife material and they are right! You are loyal and honest. I see also that you attract older men. Because they are more authoritative and more wealthy that people your age and a little younger/older. Some people in this pile like the baby/daddy dynamic, Idk why but I keep hearing "every man gets his wish and 1949 by Lana Del Rey" go listen to them if you want to. There's a lot of references on the cards on sugar baby/ daddy relationship. Honey, if you want an older man/woman or a sugar daddy/mommy you can easily attract one and believe me you can literally make them your slave. I see that your romantic interest value you because you are not afraid of walking away from things that do not serve you. I see that the love relationship that you are seeking and imagining in your head is meant for you in this lifetime. And you are going to get them no matter how old you get.
4- Placements for this pile
Fire placements (Aries, Sagittarius and leo). Earth placements (Taurus, Capricorn and virgo). Aquarius, Cancer, Venus in scorpio. Pluto with aspects to the ascendant. Mars, jupiter, Uranus, Mercury, neptune dominant.
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Pile 2- A cross the shore
Your current energy
Okay, I see this pile feels disappointed because of a man in your life? He could either be your father or someone you are with in a relationship. I see that this man is sabotaging your happiness. You could be so happy and satisfied and then you set with him and your mode change 180° for the worst. I see that also if you are a woman you might be a gemini and this man is so cocky that he make you feel anxious and out of element. Another thing I'm picking up on is that this pile are trying to juggle many responsibilities but due to stress and anxiety you are just postponing your priorities until you get the mind clarity that you are looking for. And if not that case is applicable to your case then I see that you are someone who is very structured or organized and there's many responsibilities on your shoulders right now but due to stress and exhaustion you are just surrendering to life? I see that you need some time for yourself pile 2, try to reflect and take a break. If you have many responsibilities then break the task into small baby steps so you can complete it; also try to take a break between each task. Pile 2 your spirit team is telling you that the worst have finally ended and they want you to know that whatever thing you wish for you'll get it. I see that they are encouraging you to get out and be more social and be optimistic. They hate seeing you sad and anxious. They want you to know that they love you and they are working day and night to insure that you are safe and sound. Idk why I started tearing up I feel suddenly a wave of warm emotions, I also feel so tired and sleepy pile 2 if you want to sleep please go and sleep everything will be alright. They are telling me that the clarity you want will come to you quickly and you don't have to work for it. You only need to set still and listen to the synchronicity they are sending you. Each one of those synchronicities have something to do with what you want to know. God bless you pile 2.
1- How do you view yourself?
I see that you view yourself as someone who is very spiritual. A priestess, I'm seeing. You like to dive deep into the unknown, you have this thirst for dark knowledge like occult, witchcraft, tarot, astrology, alchemy and other forms of divination. I see that you see yourself as someone who embody the pluto archetype. Someone who is in a constant inner change, you could be now having your first or second spiritual awakening which is kinda harsh in your lens. I see that you are someone who is very patient and stubborn. Someone who can reach whatever they want. I see also that you see yourself as someone who is scattered brain and your head is always in the clouds. You could be a dreamer too. I'm seeing that you are someone who is trying their best but you feel like the best thing is nothing important to anyone. I feel like you might see yourself as someone who is an outcast? Someone who is overlooked by others. People don't really take you seriously and they think that you are dumb? (I'm not saying you are dumb neither people around you, it is your perception to things pile 2). I see that you see yourself as someone who is mentally ill, someone who is overlooked by people from their own gender. You might have dealt with girls/girl friends who used you for what you have like money/service or attention and then they ditched you when their business has done. I see that you might be so attached to your female caregiver so much it could be your mother or grandmother or old sister for some of you. Put I'm seeing that this caregiver is old like in their 40s. This pile has a really melancholic perspective of who they are it is like someone who is lost. I see that unlike pile 1, you use your intuition a lot or you started listening to your intuition in order for you to survive. You might have given a lot of people lots of second chances but they played you again until you literally got drained and depleted of energy. So, as a coping mechanism you chose to stay by yourself so you can protect your inner peace. I see you may call yourself a freak in a proud way. Like you see those people who got treated horribly because of their personalities but then they accepted the fact that it is what it is and they started calling themselves of what people called them proudly? You might be like this.
2- How do you lure people in?
Well, pile 2. I see that you act distant and aloof in front of people but once you warm up to someone you can be really helpful. I see that at first people see that you are starting fresh and new in your life (because of your spiritual awakening) they see how mentally and perhaps physically you are changing. I see that you try to do your best to keep your life together, people can see that you are trying but what make them sad is you do not ask for help. You do not want anyone to help you. You think that no one cares but in fact people care more than you think. I see what really make those people stay away from you is that you do not give them a chance to reveal themselves. You might be in a survival mode and you see everything in black and white but life is more than that. This pile make me so sad. It is like I'm not reading for HOW you lure people in it is like WHAT people's reaction when they see you and it is completely two different things. I think that this pile need to work on their perception of themselves because the way you see yourself play a major role of how people treat you. I think that you have self worth issues and you think that you do not deserve happiness or love or friendship. You are telling yourself the SAME damn story to convince yourself that it is what it is but it is not WHAT YOU THINK! I know this awakening is so hard but believe me when you emerge from your cocoon as a beautiful butterfly you'll see how good it is. I feel like many people in this pile are confused of which stage in the spiritual awakening you are in. Personally I've gone through that and this video will help you. I feel like you are in place in your life where survival is an apparent theme and not really anything else. You might be on survival mode for like months or even years. It is not for everyone so take what resonates.
3- How do you lure your romantic interest in?
Okay, due to your distorted self perception of yourself your romantic interests tend to avoid getting closer. But they do see the potential in you. I see that to the opposite gender you might be someone who is considered cute or attractive in general, but the thing is you do not see that yourself. I see that the opposite gender see you as someone who is the wish come true. To them you are someone who is very familiar and lovely. They are so pleased when you talk to them. I told you pile 2. Your self perception is stopping you from going after things that will make you happy. I see that your romantic interest sees how cool and good you are but they fear coming in because of the rejection and heartbreak you'll cause them. I see that you are a forbidden fruit to them. Like they are allowed to look but not allowed to taste or touch. Like a beautiful painting on a wall, they want to get closer to you, they want to touch you and get to know you but you are the one who is running away from anyone who mignt be a good option for you. You might like to start your relationship with the opposite gender as friendship and then develop it into something romantic. I see that your romantic interest view you as someone who is very fortunate, someone who is sweet, bubbly and someone they can trust to have a family with. People in this pile are divided into two sections, one energy here; their romantic interest views them in a sexual lusty way. Like you might be blessed with curves (bigger boobs, nice body shape) they see all of this and they are like "🤤", If you are a man or male I think the opposite gender see you as someone hot or you know very attractive too. I think people in this pile, their romantic interest see you as marriage material. They touch themselves as the thought of you pleasuring them. Others in this pile attracts people like them. Like if you are someone with low self esteem, you'll attract someone with low self esteem too. If you are commitment phobe, you'll attract someone exactly like you. So be careful. In this pile you might feel like your romantic interest mirror your inner self. The trauma, your fears, your doubts, how you see yourself. They mirror it, so please pile 2, try to work on that we want to attract good people into our life.
Placements for this pile:
Gemini, Capricorn, Sagittarius, Water placements or water dominants (Cancer, Scorpio and pisces). Taurus,Virgo, Jupiter, moon, Saturn, Mercury, Pluto dominant. number 3 is significant in this pile.
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Pile 3- The light house
Your current energy
Hello pile 3. How are you? I hope you are doing well. First thing I'm picking up on is that this pile is confused. I feel like you just woke up from a deep sleep or you have slept like +9 hours but you are still tried. I feel like this pile are trying to heal and seek clarity. I see that you are trying to label your values and what you really want from life. This pile’s energy are quite serene. You are living your life in a monotone way. Like you wake up, go to work/school/ college, study, eat, go to sleep. And the cycle repeat itself again. You want change in your life but you know that change will not come easily unless it starts from you pile 3. You know that and you are aware of it. You are aware that in order to change you need to work on yourself, you need to get to know your values, what you like and dislike. You want to get to know yourself and what you truly want to live. I see also that you are hanging on a connection that you think has potential but believe me darling, this connection is just an attachment. You are attached to this person and not the other way around. Perhaps, this person may at some point saw something in you but they do not know how to reach out. They do not know how it will work and you know that too. This pile’s energy is very stable, and rational honestly unlike pile 2; I felt like I'm suffocating and I cried while typing their paragraph. Anyways, I see you guys are thinking of moving into another state or country. I see by traveling there; you will put an end to the stagnant energy within you or your life. I see also that this pile will suffer from a short term poor financial state but then everything will be alright. I see that someone might enter your life pile 3, he could be a sagittarius or have sagittarius placements. This person is very driven and sexy omg. I see that soon He will be in your life. The cards are telling me that he will be there all of sudden. His entrance will shake up things in your life for the better. Don't worry pile 3, you will have the cake and eat it too. Soooo enjoy the attention.
1- How do you view yourself?
This pile view themselves as someone who is witty and cunning with a hint of manipulation. I see that you know how to use people to your liking and advantage. I also see that have a pretty convincing way of communicating. You know how to gaslight people to give you want you want. Some people in this pile do manipulate people intentionally, they know what they are doing. I see that you can be pretty lazy and harsh with people. You might have mercury in sagittarius? Or mercury with harsh aspects to pluto? Someone who is very intelligent and lazy. Almost gives me INTP, ISTP, ISTJ, ENTP and some of you could be INFJ or INTJ too. Many of you have been through a lot of financial issues which forced you to leave your lazy tendencies and start seek a job so you can feed yourself. I feel like you are someone who lives alone in their own apartment or own a house by themselves. But you owned this after you worked like a dog to earn this money. I see that some people here lack imagination and you don't really understand why some people call themselves dreamers. You thunk dreaming or imagining things is a dumb thing or you seek the psychological meaning behind it. People in this pile are so logical and pragmatic, you have no connectionto emotions becauseyou think people who think with their heart are stupid. You prefer to see things in objective way. And you hate anything related to theory. You see that there's no use in using theories and you only believe in hard facts. In this pile I see also that you hate being bored I remembered when Lana twitted on X "you are boring me to death and I'm already dead". I think you hate boredom too pile 3. You hate boring people and dumb people. People in this pile can be Narcissists or Machiavellian or you have symptoms of this personality disorder (take what resonates I will not label people here as good or bad you know if you are good or bad pile 3). Also you have a high self esteem and you think that you deserve the world. You might be working right now so you can be in a high position in society. Someone who is authoritative and demanding. You want people to fear you and to respect you more than to like or love you. You get thrilled when someone announce that they hate you and they are your enemy. You like that and it gives you this energy boost. I see also that you are digging your way up, you are trying to prove to yourself that you'll be someone great in the future. You have this enormous drive to you that make you go on and on to reach your goals I'm hearing Marina song "High achiever can't you see, baby nothing come for free" but I forgot the song's name lol. You are always working on your goals and have a vision for the future.
2- How do you lure people in?
Omg this pile is quite bitchy. I hate saying this but people are attracted to you and hate you at the same time. They are attracted to your charm but they hate it when you turn the table on them. You might be someone who LIKES to gossip and because of that almost no one really want to be your friend. People like it when they come to you for advice because you are not swayed by emotions or imagination, you give them your opinion without being shy of sayingthe truth. You lure people in there's this drive to you, the ambition. Especially if you are a man or a male or masculine, everyone droll over how masculine you are. They like how decisive you are. People see the inner power in you, they see how passionate and wonderful you can be. Also you intimidate people, your presence make people uncomfortable because of the powerful aura you show to others. I see also that there's this wonder-ness about you. People in this pile here are not ashamed to explore and discover what they want as I mentioned in the energy check in. I see also that you keep ignoring your intuition and you lack emotional maturity which is soon will be changed. I see one of the lessons you'll learn in this lifetime is to be more emotionally intelligent and to be more compassionate towards others. People see that you are a me me me person. They see that because of your confidence and charm you can be a bit (How can I say it?) You are attention seeker? You are giving me The Weekend vibe idk why😭.
3- How do you lure your romantic interest in?
Your possible romantic interest view you as someone who is warm and optimistic. Most of your romantic interest crush on you because of how you look. They have no idea how dangerous you can be lol. Anyways, your romantic interests view you as someone who doesn't have man friends or a lone wolf even if you are an extrovert and you know a lot of people they assume that you are a lone wolf who doesn't have many friends. I see that your romantic interest are mostly dreamers or people who are delusional. Or I see that you attract people who are the total opposite of your personality. It is for a reason and the reason is to connect more with your emotional side. Your romantic interest feel scared of approaching you because you appear a bit unbalanced or a player. They see you as someone who will probably play them and fuck with their heart (A heartbreaker honestly). You might be someone who is considered attractive to people in the country you are living in. I see that you have a very sexy aura and you sexual energy is out of the chart. You might post nudes of yourself just to tease your crushes online. You have many stalkers too. If you are a guy many girls stalk you online. And if you are a female/girls/feminine many guys harass you online and they send you +18 pic of their.... you know. I see also that your romantic interest view you as someone who is quite harsh with words or someone who is very honest like bluntly honest which most of the time hurt their feelings. Your romantic interest view you as someone who they see a long term relationship with. They see you as someone who can pull them out of their shell. Also someone who is very smart and intelligent. They like how smart you are.
Placements for this pile
Air placements or dominant (Gemini, Libra and Aquarius). Sagittarius, Leo especially the ascendant, Capricorn, Sun, Mercury, Venus, jupiter as dominant planets in your chart.
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Pile 4- Eye of a mermaid
Your current energy
Hello pile 4, how are you? Well let's get into the energy check of yours. First thing I'm picking up on is that you are either in love with someone who doesn't love you back or you have ended a romantic relationship because of a third party. But what mostly obvious here is that there's chasing and convincing. I see that you or the other person are chasing one another and no it is not mutual. It is like the more feminine energy in this connection is putting too much effort that the man started to feel egoistic and self assured that the feminine won't leave him. I see that you guys are very generous and selfless people. You have many friends and you are spending majority of time asking for their advice on your love life. It is painful honestly, I feel like my heart is sinking. You have many potential pile 4 and whatever you are chasing won't come to you unless you detach and forget about it. It is okay if we love someone and they don't love us back but the problem is when you hang your WHOLE existence around that perosn. Love is pure, genuine, it is the most pure energy in this universe. So, don't be sad that they are not sharing their love with you. Instead, be concerned on how to detach from that person. Another energy I'm picking up on is that you might be in a fwb situation or poly relationship. I see many parties interfering with the relationship that you feel the person you are loving is not loving you back. This person honestly is not the best so, try to move yourself out of the situation and give them a block for 2 months. If this person tried to reach out during these 2 months then they care for you and if not then you are just a replacement (sorry for being harsh on you pile 4). I see that this pile here there's someone perhaps a soulmate. This person is coming too soon into your life so whatever situation you are in, you'll find someone who will give you the love that you give to others and they will held you accountable. Okay my dears?
1- How do you view yourself?
Okay, first thing I'm picking up on is that you are someone who really hate change. You can literally eat the same food, do the same routine and live on the same frequency for ages without trying to change you life circumstances. Also, I see that you are someone who is very smart and intelligent. You see yourself as someone who is not swayed by delusions. The funny thing is (what I'm picking up on intuitively) that you say that you don't believe in tarot, astrology or paranormal stuff but you manage to read tarot or like being curious about your placements and other stuff. I see that you see yourself as someone who is pessimistic and not that funny or optimistic at all. The cards are also telling me that you need to change or at least accept the idea of change. You appear as someone who is very charming, tempting or someone who is quite attractive to others. Also you are someone who is very active, you like to keep yourself busy during the day. I see a job that requires you to stay active and in service. You could be a waiter/ waitress or cashier? Someone who is always moving. And if not then you are an athletic who have to always be training. You are someone who is always in their head. You might have anxiety or anxiety attacks randomly. You might also try to surrender to circumstances but there's this voice inside you that always nagging you to keep fighting and pushing back. I guess that's why you are always pessimistic pile 4, it is because you hate how you are forcing yourself to keep going. Because after all this enforcement you are not getting the result you aspire to get at all. You are someone who is very generous with time, effort and money. I see that you view yourself as someone who is very cooperative and if not then you view yourself as an extrovert who have many friends. The cards keep replying the same idea which is the selflessness. You need yo balance the give and take energy in you. If someone gave you attention try to give them the same amount they are giving you and don't take it too far. I see that you have people pleaser tendencies. I see that you don't really see the people pleasing thing as a problem at all. Like you truly like to help others because it heals something in you. I'm picturing Monica Gellir from Friends. She have this strong energy, presence and above all she is so caring and hard worker. You may have something in common with her. I see that you are someone who is a bit romantic too. You like romance, but you see those people on tiktok who read lots of romantic stuff and when someone actually is interested they cringe? You might be like that. I see that you are someone who is very loyal, especially to your friends. You might have you venus or moon in Taurus. I'm sensing here a lot of devotion from you guys unlike pile 3 they are narcissists lol.
2- How do you lure people in?
Pile 4 are you an ENFJ/ESFJ? I feel like this pile are a knight in a shining armor. I feel also that you project a picture to people that is not true about yourself. You may pretend like you have a specific traits that are not in you or you lie about sensitive stuff to avoid the hard feelings that come with it. Many people in this pile are very active and action oriented. People see you as someone with a lot of energy to give to others. I see that you are very helpful and people like that. The way you lure people in is a mix of fogginess and helpfulness. Or you may see that at first people project alot of stuff into you, they may tell you things that is not necessary you. Pile 4 do you have neptune/ascendant aspects? Because people always tend to project into you stuff that are not there. People may view you as someone who is naive, others tend to view you as someone who is manipulative. And so on and so forth. I see that also people view you as someone who lack imagination and if you are imaginative by nature then they see that you are someone who is not spiritual at all. They may tell you that you look helpless even though you know where exactly you are going. There's this fog around how people view you. They can't quite tap into who you truly is! Which leave you misunderstood by others. You are exactly like someone for ex, who spent their whole life being told that they are selfish but you are not selfish and you know that. I see that people see you as someone who is a hard worker. They see your efforts and they appreciate them too. People (because of the projection thing) can't really tell you who you truly are. They see the effort you put but not your potential. You may get laughed at when you claim to want to be a model, a singer or anything because people don't seem to think that you can do that. In fact you can, it is just the thoughts of them that they project onto you which is quite sad honestly. People tend to get possessive of you and attached not because of who you are, but because of who they view you to be. It is like those people have something missing and they paint you with what is missing in their life and they claim that you fulfill all the things that is missing from their life. It is sad honestly because they can't see you for who you truly are, instead they project into you. This pile feels like an object to other people which keep them stuck in the same patterns. I guess from what I'm seeing in the cards that your life mission is to get to know yourself and stop letting others project into you.
3- How you lure your romantic interest in?
Okay, your romantic interest see that you are someone who is very independent and ambitious. You may attract a lot of mentally ill people into your life? Or people with avoidant attachment style or peoplewho are non-committed? I see that this people are quite manipulative. Like for ex, they may lie to you about something that they don't have and then you get shocked of the truth. I see that this pile attracts many cheaters. Or people who is considered a walking red flag. People in this pile may have dated people who do not love them. Not love, I see lust. The opposite gender may lust over you a lot sadly. You may be someone who is considered attractive or beautiful in social standards. You attract many cheaters into your life and indecisive people too. Like okay, those people can never be serious or committed to you at all. I'm picking up on the other woman vibe. A girl or a woman who is so beautiful, she have a big heart but all she get from the opposite gender is cheating, lies non-committed relationships or you may be the side chick in the relationship. That's why in the beginning of the reading I felt this sense of unrequited love! It is because you want a relationship, you want love but you can't seem to attract those to you and it is frustrating! You may always try to prove that you are more than a beautiful face/body but unfortunately they only see you as a sexual object. And if you are a man you may have dated several women who were not serious about committing to you or women who is considered hot but are superficial and only cares about money (like more than who you truly are). This pile is sad honestly, all people here are not seen for who they truly are but instead who people want them to be. So, I see that you'll take a reflecting period and quit dating for a while just to see what you truly want and if you are already doing that then good for you pile 4. You deserve applause 👏🏻. Take time and detach, learn how to love yourself, and seek the truth! You truth and what truly matter in your life.
Placements for this pile
Fire placements especially Aries, Air placements (Gemini, Libra and Aquarius). Earth placements (capricorn, virgo and taurus). Saturn, Mercury, jupiter, Uranus, neptune, sun dominant.
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Post dated: 22nd of Sep/2024- Sun
*Feedback is appreciated
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maximumqueer · 3 days
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Ok, so I got to (and past) ep. 26 of Witchlight, where Gideon is hit with a fey love curse which has him be head over heels in love with Kremy. And it just has me thinking about how vastly different the two of them reacted to being fey cursed to be in love with the other (though we all know they are in love without the fey curse) and what that says about them as people, as well as the way that they view relationships.
When Kremy was under the effects of the fey curse, he was dead set on making sure Gideon (or anybody really) did not find out about him being in love. He, for all intents and purposes, did not act all that differently that he would have other than being more outwardly jealous of the fact that Gideon was marrying other people. (Richie saying "I know" with that smug look in his face will live rent free in my mind forever). This says a lot about Kremy, and the way he views romantic (or even just more intimate) relationships. He is so full of shame and insecurity at the prospect of being in love of Gideon that it all has to be done through a false lens of irony. And I think that is because Kremy, at the end of the day, is a conniving conman. He views relationships as advantageous. He is so clearly afraid of vulnerably that, even when under the effect of a love curse, is still trying his best to not let on that he is in love. (I also think this points to him actually being in love with Gideon, as it does not completely alter his behavior). He needs to maintain control on his feelings in order to be in control of every situation he is in, so that he can exploit the people he needs to, as well as make himself as un-exploitable as possible. Obviously he is friends with Gideon, Gricko, and Frost, but I can't help but believe that the trust we see him have in them was built slowly over years. Just look at the way he views Torbek earlier on. And as such, admitting that the relationship he has with Gideon goes deeper, and is more intimate that just friends and business partners, is a (nearly) impossible task for Kremy, as he does not want to feel or be viewed as vulnerable.
With Gideon, the second he gets cursed, he immediately goes all in. He says that he loves Kremy, that he is happy they are married, and goes out of his way to touch him, be close to him, compliment him. Now, this is more distinctly different from how Gideon usually behaves around Kremy, but I don't necessarily think that means that his love is completely fake. I do think, however, that it means that Gideon is unaware of the full extent of his feelings when it comes to Kremy. Because, while it was said in a joking manner, I believe that there is some truth to the claim that Gideon has commitment issues. Not in the sense that he is or ever would be unfaithful in a more committed relationship, but rather that some wires got crossed in his head (thanks to the years and years of trauma from the fucking train) and that he now views being 'tied down' to one individual in a romantic sense in a similar way as being imprisoned. He wants freedom, he doesn't want to feel beholden to a single person. And obviously this is an unhealthy way to view relationships, as a healthy one will not make you feel like you are being caged. But this does not seem to be based off of experience for Gideon, as all of his 'romantic' exploits seem to have been causal hookups that may end in him getting shotgun married and then immediately cutting town, but nothing more. It is the concept of romantic commitment that Gideon does not like, not the actual act of commitment itself. Because he IS committed to Kremy, and he has no qualms with being 'tied down' to Kremy in this way. As such, he doesn't view his feelings as being anything other than platonic, as he expects romance to feel like a cage. Until he gets slapped with fey magic, and those feelings about commitment temporarily go away.
Basically this is a really long way of saying that I LOVE how Richie and Mace both decided to play their characters being (explicitly) in love with the other. It makes for beautiful (and very funny) character work and gives us, the audience, a bit more insight into the dumbass minds (affectionate) of Kremy and Gideon.
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Just Friends: Big News
My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.
Character: Bucky Barnes
masterlist
Summary: You have a surprise for Bucky.
It’s giving
As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️
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“Hey!” You bounce up to the table. It’s funny how Bucky can look so intent. So gloomy in the midst of the bustling cafe. He sits up as he puts his phone down on the table. “I’m sorry I’m late. I got great news!” 
“Oh?” His brows lower, “well, you’re double sugar frappa-whatever is melting.” 
He points across the table as you sit and roll your eyes. 
“If you tried it, you wouldn’t be making fun of me. They are delicious!” You put your purse in your lap and take a long slurp through the straw. You pop your lips off and let out and ‘ahhhhh’. You smile at him as he gives you that look. 
“I don’t take sugar in my coffee and you barely take coffee in your sugar,” he drones. 
You giggle. He's always so grumpy about the smallest things. 
“News?” He prompts dully. 
“Right,” you wiggle in your seat. “I got you a date!” 
He twitches and tilts his head, “a date?” He gives you a cautious look and shifts in his seat. “Uh...” 
“Yes! This lawyer lady I know. I met her at a trivia night way back and added her on Insta. Well, I saw her post the other day and I was like how did I not think of this before?” 
“Lawyer?” He mutters. “I... you’re setting me up with a stranger?” 
“It’s a blind date. It’s fun. She’s really established and smart and beautiful. Oh my god, she posted this picture of her in a bikini—I could never wear something like that.” You get your phone out and he sighs. 
“Wait, why did you do that?” He grits. 
You look above the screen at him, “well, you said the other day that you get lonely. That’s why you have Alpine, right? And she’s so sweeeeet,” you drag out the word in adoration, “but you need someone you can talk to. Who can talk back.” 
“We talk,” he insists. 
“Yes, but we’re friends. You need someone your own age. Or closer to.” 
“Wait, how old is she?” He wonders. 
“Aha, you’re interested,” you point at him accusatorily. 
“I’m asking questions.” 
“Right, she’s... fifty something? She doesn’t look it. Like you. You don’t look... uh... 1917... carry the one...”  
“Stop that,” he demands. “I know how goddamn old I am.” 
“Ha, yeah, sorry, I...” you scroll through your Insta friends. “Here!” You turn the phone to him and beam a smile in his direction. He glances at it for a split second and shrugs. He sits back and drinks his coffee.
“I’m not really... in that scene,” he says. 
“You should get out there! I mean, you can’t bring Sam and Steve to dinner all the time. You need someone--” 
“Is this what it’s about? Because I showed up at the restaurant?” He asks. 
“No, it’s-- I’m being a friend. You two are so alike and she loves old movies and motorcycles. I could never! I'd fall off or not tie my helmet right,” you chuckle. 
“Dreamy,” he growls. 
“Bucky,” you whine back. “You gotta get out and have some fun.” 
“We have fun,” he counters. 
“We do and that’s awesome—Oh, okay, how about, I got an idea! A double date.” 
“A double—you have... a boyfriend?” He taps the porcelain cup with his metal fingertip. 
“Ha, no way. But I could find someone to come along. Just so you’re not alone. There’s a few guys at the restaurant I’m sure would go for a free meal or I mean I know other cute girls. I’m not picky.” 
He closes his eyes and a line forms between his brows. He pinches his nose and squares his shoulders. “Where the hell did you come up with the idea that I wanted to date?” 
“I...” you sit back and your smile falls. His blue eyes flick open as he drops his hand. The dimple in his cheek ticks. “I’m sorry, I thought it was—I was... trying to be a good friend.” 
He stares at you and the stone slowly eases from his jaw. He looks down and back up. He huffs. 
“I’m sorry, dreamy,” he says, “it’s just been a while for me. Not that I haven’t thought of it, you know? But I don’t know if I’m ready for that.” He shakes his head and glances around the cafe. “The last time I dance with a dame was a goddamn USO tour in 1945.” 
That hits you like a sixteen-wheeler. You didn’t know that. You didn’t think of it. He’s been in this world for a while and he’s handsome and a superhero! You just though he’d have lots of people interested. Charlize sure seemed excited when you asked. 
“And now you’re looking at me like I’m a loser because I haven’t kissed a gal in 80 years--” 
“No, you’re not a loser. If you are, then I am.” 
“Come on, you don’t gotta--” 
“Really. I never kissed anyone. Not lying.” 
He shakes his head and scoffs, “oh no, you’re not lying to make me feel better.” 
You put on your most sober face, “Bucky, I swear,” your cheeks burn and you put your hands on your neck. “I mean... it would be nice I’m sure but it just never came up.” He looks at you quietly. You squirm. “I know you can hear that I’m telling the truth.” 
“Yeah, I know,” he accepts at last. He crosses his arms and clicks his tongue, “fine. If you’re going to suffer through it, I will too.” He looks away as his jaw tenses, “if you’re going to keep pulling that puppy dog face, one day, it’s gonna wear off.” 
“Yes! Bucky’s got a date! Bucky’s got a date!” You sing out of tune. 
“Stop,” he snarls and narrows his eyes at you. You wince and giggle.  
“Yay!” You put your hands up in a demure celebration and he tuts. 
“You’re so cheesy,” he sneers. 
“And you’re a party pooper. No moping on date night, got it?” You try to put on a stern face and he squints even harder. Finally, he cracks and gives a chuckle. 
“You’re ridiculous,” he sniffs. “You and tough, don’t go together.” 
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maidragoste · 21 hours
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hey hun! im sorry for your loss and i saw u post abt needing distracting. so could u write a jace x reader? it could be any plot you want whatsoever and could it be a modern au? as well fluffy! is that okay?
Hi, how are you?
Thank you for your message 💖 I'm sorry it took me so long to upload your request (in the end it cost me more than I thought to recover and then university and trying to find a job overwhelmed me) but I hope you like the result 🥰💖
Disclaimer: English is not my first language so I apologize for any mistakes.
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It hadn't really been Jacaerys' intention to wait for you to come back from your date. He should be doing some college work but instead, he's watching TV without paying attention to it thinking about how the hours are passing and you still haven't come home. Your date should be fun if you don't text Jace anymore. Jace shouldn't be worried about you because he knew Rhaena would never have set you up with an idiot but he still couldn't help being worried.
Jacaerys wanted you to come home and see if you were okay. It would hurt him to hear the details of your date and see you all excited about another boy but he would bear it.
If only Jace wasn’t afraid of ruining things between you two then he would have taken you out himself after hearing you complain about how your love life is dead instead of letting Rhaena set you up with one of her friends. But Jacaerys is sure that you don’t see him as more than a friend and he doesn’t want to risk losing you so he doesn’t make a move. He's content with being able to be in your life, with the chaotic mornings of the two of you getting ready before going to class, with your text messages telling him everything that happens to you during the day, with the nights cooking together and with the breaks where you watch series snuggled together on the couch.
Jacaerys looks away from the TV as he hears the keys clicking into the lock. You walk in and Jace feels a pit in his stomach because you don’t look excited, you look defeated? Your eyes meet his and you give him a tired smile but you quickly break eye contact to take off your coat and sneakers and then run to the couch with him.
“So you wanna talk about it?” Jacaerys doesn’t even finish asking how much you’re already talking.
“It was fine. He’s nice and we talked for hours. Everything was going well until the end because he tried to kiss me.” If you hadn’t been busy fidgeting nervously you would have noticed how your roommate seemed to tense up all of a sudden. “I declined and he wasn’t bothered but it was awkward.” You sighed.
“Why did you reject him? Are you the kind of person who has a rule of not kissing on the first date?”
“Because I don’t like him” you declared, suddenly looking up and for a moment, at the intensity of your gaze, Jace forgot to breathe. “I could be his friend, but I’m not interested in him in any other way.”
“Oh” was the only thing that came out of the surprised man’s mouth.
“Oh,” you repeated, “Why did you wait for me, Jace?”
“Who said I was waiting for you? I was watching TV” he denied instantly.
“Jace”
Seeing your beautiful eyes looking at him pleadingly for a moment, Jace was afraid to give in and confess everything to you, as for more than a year he can’t stop thinking about you and wants to be more than your friend. But again, he’s afraid of making you uncomfortable and losing your friendship, so he asks instead.
“What does that have to do with you not liking your date?”
“While I was with him I realized that I actually wanted to be home with you” you confessed and instantly regretted it when you saw that he remained silent. “Forget it. I'm sorry for making it weird” You got up ready to go to your room so you could have a crisis alone about ruining your friendship with Jace when he took you by the hand and pulled you causing you to end up on top of him.
“Oh no, I don’t plan on forgetting it, not when I’ve been pining for you for over a year,” he stated making you smile.
“You’re a coward,” you mocked without malice. “Over a year and you never made a move. You’re lucky I decided to act.”
“You’re right,” he said smiling unbothered. “Now that we’ve established that I’m a fool and you’re the best, can I kiss you?” he asked and you laughed feeling delighted with him.
“Try not to sound so desperate to kiss me.”
“Can you blame me?” He arched an eyebrow, any embarrassment or fear he felt disappearing the moment he knew his feelings were reciprocated. “I thought a lot about kissing you and I finally have the chance.”
At his confession, you felt heat on your face and your smile grew. “You're such a fool.” You took his face in your hands and felt your heart warm at the softness with which Jace looked at you.
The moment your lips touched his Jacaerys knew he would become addicted to your kisses. He would look for any excuse to kiss you as many times as he wanted. You would probably become the clingy couple that his friends would make fun of. But he didn't care and he didn't think you would either because you were kissing him with the same intensity.
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Taglist for all my House of the Dragon works
@chaotic-fangirl-blog @venus-flytrap3 @ajordan2020 @iloveallmyboys @sweethoneyblossom1 @fudge13 @crystal-faith @tita004 @ichanelvxgue @snowprincesa1 @joyouart @rosey1981 @alastorhazbin @papichulo120627 @apollonshootafar @jasminecosmic99 @partypoison00 @labellapeaky @rebelliuna @bxdbxtxh15 @impartinghades @thegirlnextdoorssister @angeliod @snh96 @aleemendoza2425-blog @natashaobo @watercolorskyy @nyenye @savagemickey03 @kishie8 @ewwwitsel @arabis-world @missusnora @nzygftoji @alisoncdariel @cookielovesbook-akie @partnerincrime0 @klara-lily @427120lxld @justhereiguess2 @buckylahey @wa801 @artistadistrada2002 @thelastemzy @justanotherkpopstanlol @yn-jackson @jacesvelaryons @pictureofcaroline
hotd masterlist
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106 notes · View notes
yawnzbf · 2 days
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LDS boys x reader who's quite oblivious to their feelings?!?
| Partner who is quite obvious to the boys’ feelings |
Lnd boys x gn! Oblivious! Reader
Xavier
Xavier will wait for you to realize your feelings on your own terms giving you time and affection
He will be so soft and sweet to you, the man’s just happy to spend time with you
Sometimes while training together, he’d purposely let you win so can watch to celebrate.
When he does something a bit flirty, you’re dumbfounded- ears red eyes unable to meet his.
Though he isn’t the best person around to have in the kitchen, he makes an effort to learn how to cook your favourite dish.
A particularly strong hit from you caught Xavier off guard. He stumbled backwards, feigning a loss of balance, and fell to the floor with a dramatic thud. Concern immediately washed over your face as you rushed forward, your weapon forgotten, to check on your fallen comrade.
"Xavier! Are you alright? I should have been more careful," you said, worry etched across your features as you held him still.
Xavier lay there, seemingly dazed, looking up at you with a mysterious glint in his eyes. A whisper echoed through, "Woah... you look pretty from here."
Your concern shifted to confusion, and you tilted your head, trying to make sense of his words. "Hm? You said something? But I can't believe I was able to defeat one of the top-performing hunters today!" you exclaimed, once you registered the accomplishment, your attention torn between victory and the well-being of your sparring partner.
"Congrats on the win, you did great," Xavier replied, his hands reaching up to gently cup your face. The touch was unexpected, and you blushed slightly at the unexpected closeness. His eyes sparkled with a mixture of admiration and devotion.
Zayne
Zayne, although busy throughout the day, would set aside time for you to spend it with you even when you insist on him utilizing it to rest
His type of love would be acts of service and gift giving, getting you small things
^^ for example when you unconsciously ramble on how you were recently into doodling and sketching so he brings in a sketchbook for you to fill up )):
Or when you wanted to have crushed ice in the middle of the summer, he’d use his evol to help you out
He’d keep in one of your doodles on his office desk- a constant reminder of you that put a smile on his face
Dr. Zayne peered over the rim of his glasses, his expression a mix of concern and amusement. The soft hum of medical equipment echoed in the small examination room, creating an oddly serene backdrop to the unfolding conversation.
"Your heart's racing again," he remarked, the corner of his lips lifting in a half-smile. "May I ask why?"
"Really? I don't know, Dr. Zayne. This happens every time I'm near you. Do you think this is some kind of allergy?" you ask genuinely worried.
Laughter almost spills from his lips at the question, “I don’t think that is medically possible, perhaps this is because of some different matters..” Xavier trails off, eyes hinting at something you aren’t sure of.
While you are left confused- oblivious even to his intentions!
Rafayel
This man will not stop pestering you, constantly throwing flirty lines at you even when you shoot him down again and again :(
Unlike the other two, immediately after he recognizes his own feelings, he’s all over you
Although when the topic of actually confessing comes up, he’s all shy and red in the face, and when you misunderstand his confession- he gets all pouty not talking to you for days
“y/nn!” he whines over the phone, “I need you here right now! You’re my bodyguard, right?! There’s this hideous bug near my canvas, please come quick,” he hurriedly says cutting of the call before you can even reply.
You roll your eyes as you hear his dramatic plea through the phone. It's not the first time he's called you for something trivial. Sighing, you decide to play along with his antics and head to his house.
When you arrive, you find him standing on a chair, gesturing wildly at the bug near his canvas. "Y/nn, thank goodness you're here! This bug is a threat to my masterpiece! Can you please get rid of it?" he says, looking genuinely distressed.
You can't help but chuckle at his exaggerated reaction. "Alright, alright, calm down. It's just a bug," you reassure him. You take a step forward and swat the bug away, making sure to make a show of it. "There, problem solved. Your masterpiece is safe," you tease.
He looks at you with wide eyes, a mix of relief and admiration in them. "You're my hero, y/nn! Always coming to my rescue," he says, a mysterious glint in his eyes. As you share a laugh, you notice a hint of vulnerability in his expression.
"You know," he starts, scratching the back of his head nervously, "I... um, appreciate you being around. More than just for bug emergencies, I mean." He glances away, his cheeks turning a shade of pink.
He hesitates and finally blurts out, "I like having you around, y/nn. More than just for emergencies." You raise an eyebrow, not fully grasping the weight of his words.
“I mean, I hope you do,” you start, giving him a small smile. Upon hearing your words, he’s not talking to you for the rest of the week, while you wonder if you had said something wrong.
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Sorry you had to wait this late but I was busy with moving into uni and lyf happened, although be ready to be fed more often now!!
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chrissturnsfav · 12 hours
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𝓉𝒶𝓀𝑒 𝒶 𝒷𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓀 | 𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘵 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘰𝘭𝘰
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you're at your boyfriend matt's house, trying to study for your finals tomorrow. however, matt has other plans—having not seen you in 5 days—and you can't help but let him distract you.
ᰔᩚ smut, oral (fem receiving), soft!dom matt, bf!matt, use of pet names (baby, pretty girl), fluff
ᰔᩚ w.c. 1,559
ᰔᩚ requested from @anonymous: just softdom!matt eating you out 🙁 (im extremely lonely)
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you had studied an immense amount for the past 2 weeks. you studied in between all of your classes, studied in the morning before you left for classes, studied while eating—anything you were doing you were studying as you did it.
you finally were at matt's house—after not seeing him in about 5 days, but of course you had to study as you were with him—no matter how much you missed him and his touch.
you are currently sat in matt's bed. your legs are clutched up to your chest, your psychology notebook sitting in your lap. you intently read over the notes over and over and over again. matt is laid lazily next to you, one of your hands are intertwined with his as he rubs small circles on your palm with his thumb.
matt had been feening and yearning for you for every second of those past 5 days, and now he was growing impatient. it had only been about a half hour since your arrival, but he hadn't had a taste of you for what felt like forever. his eyes were on the tv screen, but he wasn't paying attention to gravity falls—all he could think about was wanting to give you a break.
so, he turns his head to you, watching your eyes scanning over the notes in your filled up notebook and he sighs. you didn't even realize the deep breath leaving his mouth because of how focused you were.
"baby..." matt groans, his head laying against the headrest.
his voice snaps you out of your thoughts and you move your gaze to meet his eyes. you look at him with a small smile, "yeah?"
"can't you just take a break for a little bit? i haven't seen you in so long..." matt says softly, a slight hint of lust in his eyes which you notice.
you bite the inside of your cheek. finals made you nervous every single year of college, and every year you would study for them like there was no tomorrow. it was bringing an immense feeling of exhaustion and stress on you, but you didn't care. all you cared about was making a good future for yourself.
you sigh, opening your mouth to respond to him, "i need to do good matt, especially in psychology...i need to have a good future. i'm doing this for the good of myself, but as soon as finals are over i'm all yours," you speak gently, reassuring matt, but it isn't enough.
matt frowns, groaning again slightly, "you've been doing this for the past 2 weeks baby, c'mon let me give you a break," he says, moving his hand that was intertwined with yours onto your knee.
you dart your eyes from his face to his hand on your knee, thinking about it. "i dunno matt..." you say reluctantly. "this is really important to me, y'know?" you say, looking back into his eyes with a soft expression.
matt nods understandingly, "i know. but you've had enough. at least for right now," he says, a smirk slowly growing on his lips and you think again, unsure of what to do.
of course, you miss him, but the voice in your head keeps yelling at you to push him away and keep studying—that this is all that matters right now, and once finals are over, you both can have all the fun you want.
you don't have enough time to respond, because he's slowly moving his body to hover over you, staring down at you and your doe eyes look back into his with slight unsureness.
matt moves a piece of hair falling over your face to the side before leaning next to your ear. "c'mon, take a break, lemme make you feel good," he whispers sensually, making you feel weak.
the voice in your head is now screaming at you to push him off, to keep studying—you need to ace this exam tomorrow.
but you ignore it.
matt's hands trail down to the waistband of your sweatpants, kneeling in between your legs as he tugs on the drawstring. his eyes move to look at yours with a smirk, to which you return slightly.
you sigh and move the notebook in your lap to the side, opening your legs slightly wider.
matt looks at you with a hint of shock in his expression, "oh, is mrs. straight a-student giving in to me? shocker," he chuckles out and you roll your eyes jokingly.
you watch him undo the tie you have the drawstring of your sweatpants in, sliding them off of your hips slowly.
he moves his head to fit between your legs, gripping your thighs gently as he begins to pepper small kisses on them. your eyes flutter closed, body tense with anticipation.
matt senses the tenseness in your frame and he smiles against your skin, looking at you. "relax, baby, gonna give you a real good break," he speaks gently as he draws small circles on your inner thigh.
you nod at his words, relaxing your body beneath him to which he chuckles at, his lips moving closer to your inner thigh. "that's my girl," he mutters.
matt begins to slowly slide your panties off of you, tossing them to the other side of the bed. he looks down at your glistening core, smirking at the sight as he pushes your knees wider gently.
"aw, that's cute," he jokes, looking at you and you giggle warmly. he licks his lips before moving his head back in between your thighs. he places a hand on your thigh wrapping your leg around his back and the other one sits on your knee.
your heart thumps with desire and anticipation excitedly. you watch matt lick a stripe through your warm folds and your body shivers at his actions. he smirks against your heat before speaking, "relaax baby, gonna make you feel real good, alright?" he says, looking up at you knowingly.
you nod, humming in response and relaxing your body against his bed. he moves his hand from your knee onto your bundle of nerves, his thumb rubbing circles gently, but quickly.
you let out a deep, soft moan, already beginning to fall apart and you only gasp louder when his tongue works against your wet pussy.
"mmm," matt hums into you, rubbing his thumb faster, "'s so good...always so good," he mutters before his tongue continues its actions.
you whine softly, head falling back against his pillow, but matt tuts and he moves his mouth off of you to look at you, "gotta look at me while i make you feel good, pretty girl."
you fix your gaze quickly, locking your eyes with his to which he smiles and nods, "good girl," he says softly before moving his lips back to your core. you moan softly as his actions quicken, his gaze never leaving your twisted face.
your hands move to tangle into his hair, eyes rolling back slightly at the pleasure. you moan deeply when matt suddenly inserts two fingers into your pussy, removing his thumb from your clit to replace it with his tongue.
his tongue swirls quick circles on your clit, fingers pumping in and out at a fast pace. he stares up at you in lust, watching your eyes roll back, your mouth falling open as the occasional moan leaves your lips.
"s-shit...matt...d-don't stop," you moan softly, hands pulling at his hair and he groans against you which sends vibration throughout your body and you whimper.
matt's tongue on your clit moves even quicker, fingers flicking inside of you hitting your g-spot and you moan deeply. "feel good, baby?" he asks against you sensually.
you nod eagerly, feeling a knot in your stomach begin to form which reminds you that you're going to cum soon. "y-yeah...fuck...o-oh, g-gonna cum!" you moan softly, loudly and matt smirks, his actions becoming impossibly faster.
"cum in my mouth, baby, can't wait to taste you..." he mumbles, anticipating your release.
your mouth falls fully open, vision blurry as you cum all over matt's lips, moaning loudly, "o-oh my god! y-yes...matt," you moan loudly, filling his room.
matt moans slightly at the taste of you, your cum filling his mouth. he watches as some of you drips onto his sheets, licking up every drop. he removes his fingers from inside of you, pulling his face up. he licks his lips, looking up at you with a smirk as he swallows.
he brings his two fingers covered in your cum up to your lips, his face inches away from yours as he hovers over you. "mmm, taste yourself, baby...taste so pretty."
you open your mouth slowly, eyes never leaving matt's and he gently puts his fingers in your mouth. you suck your remnants off his fingers, whining against them at the taste and he chuckles, "so sweet," he whispers.
matt connects your lips in a soft, gentle, loving kiss and you smile against his lips, kissing back passionately.
he pulls away and smiles at you warmly, kissing your cheek before crawling off you. he tosses your panties, sweatpants and notebook back to you before sitting back next to you.
"back to work, baby, gotta ace that final tomorrow, right?" he teases, smirking at you, watching as you're still trying to catch your breath.
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𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗿'𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲: i hope my matt girls loved this one! i'm actually really pleased with it hehe.
thank you for reading!! <3
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@chrissturnsfav ™
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Stolas self-sabotages just as much as Blitzø does. Blitzø’s is just much louder and angrier. He is a flash of intense emotion that pushes you away. Stolas’ self-sabotage, in keeping with his character, is much quieter. He purposely puts himself in very uncomfortable and triggering situations (the Anti-Divorce party, the Anti-Blitzø party…lots of anti parties going on in Hell) because he thinks he has to. He assumes others don’t want to be around him so he doesn’t even try to socialize or form deep connections. And I think it’s worth mentioning, for all his talk in Look My Way about wishing he could see past the defenses Blitz has put up to cope with a harsh life, Stolas’ walls are just as strong, possibly stronger, and he has absolutely no intention of weakening them any time soon. Ever, if he gets his way.
Like, Blitz will mask his pain with jokes, but he’ll still…say it. He’ll still say he has daddy issues. He’ll stay say a Prince could never love an imp and he lashed out in fear. He’ll immediately follow it up with something disingenuous, but the words will still leave his mouth.
But remember in Apology Tour? “I’ve never seen you throw them back this hard.”
Blitz is still on the arc of learning to humanize Stolas instead of putting him on a pedestal, but the pedestal thing is partially Stolas’ fault. We don’t know what Blitz knows about Stolas other than Stolas has a kid, had a wife, collects carnivorous plants, is a gay man, and has an imp butler. Maybe he knows some other things, but we don’t know what else, if anything. Considering Stolas’ MO when he’s overwhelmed is to peace out, and Blitzø has abandonment issues…
But Stolas never told him about Stella. Or Paimon. Or that Octavia is a “precautionary heir.” Or the arranged marriage. Or that the other Goetia think he’s a joke. Or that he’s a rape survivor. Or that he struggles with severe mental health issues. Or even that he’s still injured from Striker’s knife wound.
So, if Blitz hadn’t sabotaged everything first, Stolas definitely would have been the one to do it. Probably so subtly, in such small ways, Blitz wouldn’t have even noticed until he came home from work and Stolas wasn’t there, his stuff gone and there being no indication as to why or how to reach him, most likely because the image he was trying to craft of being normal and put together finally cracked. Better get out now before they realize you’re not who you tricked them into thinking you were, right? Blitzø just loves the mask. And the mask has to fall off at some point. The show has to end.
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dollgxtz · 2 days
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gen ask, but why did yan sylus forced mc to have a child(・c_・。) atp, ngl i feel like he's using her only for his child. anw love ur story!
Thank you so much for asking! I can assure you that Yandere!Sylus’s intentions aren’t just to use her for a child. The reason he’s so eager to get her pregnant is that he believes it will be the final step in ensuring her submission and tie her to him. In his mind, once she’s expecting, she won’t be able to escape. Even if she tries, how far could she run with a baby on the way?
He does love her, but his actions seem cruel because he’s hiding his emotions behind snide remarks and a playful demeanor. Deep down, he actually does want her to love him back, but he knows that this won’t be easy. In his view, binding her to him through a child and proving how much better her life could be with him is his way of ensuring she stops trying to leave.
(He’ll get some character development in upcoming chapters to be more vulnerable with her instead of hiding them behind a smirk!)
He also thinks motherhood will certainly weaken her resolve, and soften her down enough to allow her to love him.
Though he’s absolutely prepared for her to hate him forever, but he also wants to show her that she doesn’t have to hate him and be miserable if she just accepts her situation (aka the reason he’s made the eye scanner allow her to come in and not out). He’s preparing for a potential future where she chooses him^^
If he simply wanted to use her for a baby, I doubt he would’ve gone to such measures. Hope this answers this ^^
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I'm just curious since I absolutely adore all your trans Ed fics, what made you read Ed as being trans? Is it more of a personal headcanon since we tend to see ourselves in fictional characters, or did you notice some tiny detail on the show that made you think so?
Oh my friend, I'm so glad you ask.
The cool thing about reading Ed as trans, I think, is that you do not even have to squint to do it. Literally you need to change exactly nothing, and this read suddenly adds a lot of nuance and additional juicy layers to his story and his journey with masculinity.
Ed's whole deal with masculinity, precisely exactly all of it, makes him feel so much like a trans guy who never outgrew the "I need to be hypermasculine so I pass" phase, fitting that read so precisely that given there are trans writers on the OFMD team I would be absolutely SHOCKED if at least some of it wasn't intentional. Every single trans guy I know has been through a version of this, where you come out and you know you're a man but you need everyone else to know, too, and so you lean very hard into masculinity to make damn sure you pass. And not just pass, but pass perfectly. Ed is forcing himself into such a heavy ideal of masculinity that it feels artificial; he needs to make sure everyone sees him as this perfect ideal of a masculine man that he cannot possibly live up to because no one could.
Certainly, parts of Ed's hyper-masculine presentation seem to be things that genuinely make him happy and bring him joy. That's important. Ed's happy to be a man, the problem is that he's trying to force himself into such a narrow idea of masculinity that it's stifling him. It's preventing him from enjoying more ""feminine"" things that he genuinely loves, because he's terrified of being seen as less of a man for it, and people like Izzy reinforce the idea that if Ed fucks up in his performance of masculinity, he's going to be in danger because of that. It's very real, and the added juiciness from reading Ed as trans adds so much to the great story that's already there, I think. There's this additional element of Ed knowing he's a man but needing to make sure everyone else could never doubt it, there's an additional perceived danger to slipping up, there's a sort of jealous admiration for guys like Stede who seem, at least on the surface, so much more comfortable with a different type of masculinity that Ed wishes he could have more of.
And on top of that, there's just a lot of other little additional things, like:
Ed making his beard his whole brand, it just screams beard dysphoria and "no one could ever claim I'm not a man because the beard is my whole THING."
Something about his relationship with his name, and how hard he has to try to get people like Izzy to call him by his name in front of others
The way Ed is dehumanized when he dares to step outside a very safe, masculine gender presentation - it's why Izzy saying "this thing you've become" when Ed is wearing a robe and painted nails hits so hard for me, I think
Okay. okay. listen. You know the scene where Ed makes CJ whip him in the balls. Listen. Ed baby. It just SCREAMS "people here don't know I'm trans and I don't know how much getting hit in the balls should ACTUALLY hurt so I'm gonna lay it on really really thick just to be safe"
There's a lot to be said about Ed and his clothing in a lot of directions, but I'm gonna leave it at how he's really figured out a safe set of clothing that works for him and consistently allows him to be read as this super masculine guy, and he's scared to step away from that. Also, I really like imagining the full-fingered gloves at the end of s1 as a way to cover up the nail polish on his fingernails until it wears off.
I think it's very sweet that Ed tends to be very private when talking about his personal and sex life with others, but a very, very easy explanation for how that got started is he just doesn't want to go around sharing personal details about his body with people!
Yeah. A trans read of Ed is so shockingly easy, fits so well, and adds so much to his journey, frankly I'm amazed it's not more common.
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maoam · 2 days
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Naruto most likely sees how the world around him works, and it affects his behaviour, especially since he craves for acceptance.
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Notice the difference in his reaction when another guy says he likes him in part 1 vs part 2.
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(Sorry for a bit poor quality, it was difficult to find an accurate translation, most were viz translations which didn't convey this convo very well). In part 1 he's just annoyed, because he doesn't like Kankurou as a person. He didn't even think about that "I like you" could have certain other implications. But in part 2 he's straight up creeped out by Kakashi saying the same thing, eventhough the meaning and intention is the same in both.
Naruto's reaction to Kurama mentioning his kiss with Sasuke was also way too over the top. Like really comical. Naruto was putting on a show in front of everyone. But whenever he's with Sasuke, he forgets all about this, he is fine with waxing poetry to Sasuke, or Sasuke being close to him...
My guess is since he went through puberty he also learned things about himself and thus started to become more sensitive to such things. Thus internalized homophobia.
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Take this scene for example. He seems a bit uncomfortable being there. Sai was probably made to be like this (inappropriate, talking about p*nis all the time, being compared to Sasuke, challenging Naruto about his fixation on Sasuke) so Kishi could introduce more such themes into the manga. He's rather clever about this.
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Another guess (it could be both combined) would be that since Jiraiya is so aggressively straight man (to the point he has to introduce himself by saying he's not into men lol) living with him for those years during the timeskip could have affected Naruto's mindset even more. But it's funny how Kishi keeps stressing over and over how Naruto finds Jiraiya's er*tic books boring. Also unlike Jiraiya who peeps on women for p*rverted reasons, Naruto does it as a prank, and in order to practice his oiroke no jutsu. Kishi is trying to show how they are different. I remember on one discussion forum one guy actually brought up he noticed Naruto's changed behaviour after he came back with Jiraiya! Like that he was even more gay and more sensitive to gay things. See, other people notice too.
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Then he calls Konohamaru's boy-on-boy jutsu "nasty". Naturally, it's a shonen, Naruto can't have a comically interested reaction like Sakura to something like that, it wouldn't fly. Thus the internalized homophobia. But I also think he didn't want to see Sasuke who he's possessive over being with Sai like that lol. And Naruto really isn't one to talk considering what he came up with later.
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Look how proud he looks. Little hypocrite. He's been working on those twink bods more than rasengan lol. Kishi wasn't very subtle with that comment. Also Kishi fought for this moment with his editors for YEARS because he just really needed to write this down. It was just that important to him...
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Of course Naruto's repression comes up when it comes to Sasuke as well. Here he admits Sasuke is attractive, but then immediately backpedals on it. His real feelings just slipped.
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Later, he was thinking about Sasuke, his mind consumed by Sasuke, but when Sakura and Sai appear his whole body language changes and he immediately claims he was thinking about a date with Sakura. He didn't want to be vulnerable nor let anyone know about his real feelings at the moment. He is hiding behind a heterosexual facade.
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But sometimes Naruto doesn't even think of backpedaling on it. He is with his supposed "crush" yet unlike anyone else who would try to get closer or maybe flirt, he is just thinking about Sasuke. This is actually a moment that made many people raise their eyebrows. Including people who didn't like narusasu, or people who didn't ship anything. Specifically because it's written like a clickbait, as in Naruto says "he is happy" and Sakura going "huh?" and because she's his supposed crush who is taking care of him as I said most readers would expect next page have Naruto say something that would emphasize his crush on Sakura. But no, he goes on about Sasuke. No matter how much ss/nh insist we see gay everywhere, many other people picked up on Kishi's writing at many points during the story. But anyway, even with the internalized homophobia, Naruto's love for Sasuke is so strong he can say crazy things about Sasuke to other people and to Sasuke himself that things like "I'm starting to like you" (a completely average thing to say to another person) can't compare to, and still be unbothered by it.
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Finally there is the interaction with Minato. Naruto wants to look good in front of his dad so he hesitantly agrees Sakura is his girlfriend, despite how in the previous arc we were shown that Naruto knew Sakura still likes Sasuke, and was angry at her when she tried to confess to him. So he is obviously not serious about Sakura being his girlfriend, but he is saying it to Minato hesitantly. Yet when his dad is leaving he doesn't want to lie anymore.... but he's also hesitant about admitting he hasn't found a girl like his mom wanted.
About the last part, I think it's referring to the armadillo scene? I think it was Kishi's typical humour, like how Naruto saw Haku in makeup and feminine clothing, and assumed Haku was a girl, but then was told Haku is a boy and went "oh okay, I didn't know that kind of thing existed". Here there was instead an armadillo that somehow looked like it was wearing makeup (??? idek or at least looked feminine) and since Naruto needed to write down whether the animals were boys or girls (a ridiculous cover up mission they made up to hide the war was going on from Naruto lol) but then it was flipped over with everyone else and Naruto saw its p*nis and went "even if heaven and earth switched places, a male is still a male". I guess Kishi likes this kind of thing lol... his d*ck jokes...
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I know it says "the world might flip over" here but I know it's actually that proverb "even if heaven and earth switched places" that's often used in Japanese.
EDIT: this got flagggged by tumblr so I had to edit sus words.
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erabu-san · 3 days
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First of all, I would like to thank you so much for all your support and your kind message !! Thank you so much for being patient with me too !! (you will see, I thanks a lot in this post lol)
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Haha tbh I believe that ignoring and move on is a great way too! Yeees when I read this anon ask, I was wondering if they are living somewhere where pale person are oppressed and they are personally in this case and it affects them so badly that they have so much hate in them or they are just being hateful toward poc w/o any explication ? It was a bit uncomfortable And what is appealing with Genshin Impact (for me) is the fact that they use real culture to create their game ; even in the last survey, they ask if we like Natlan's authenticity (weird they only ask abt environment and music, i think they know they have issue with character design bahaha). I learn a lot about persian, algerian, but also chinese and even about french culture ! It is because people recognize themself that they start talking about it. I know there is a lot of controversial topic in Natlan, but because of this, I learn a lot on Hawai'i 's culture too. So yes, even if it is fiction, representation *is* important. And it is because they take inspiration of their culture that there is people who want a better representation, and in my opinion, this is something to not ignore !
About taking well what anon said, thank you so much ! If i can be honest tho, I didn't take it very well neither, or just I don't know how do I really felt at the moment I am an adult but I still hard time to distinguish what is morally okay or not, what is bad and good ? So if someone doesn't tell me they are explicitly a bad person with bad intention, I won't get it haha (ofc I grew up and now I identify my value and morals, but I still questionning if my morals are objectively great or not- yeaaah i was called weird for that, I am aware) Since forever I always try to understand other so I can communicate properly (at least I try), and that's why I am always interested on how does people think, why do they react in this specific way etc etc. Pro, I am patient and can take even the most violent take "well" (all depends. I am still a human) Con, I give free speech to those who have a "bad" take </3 and I apologize for that aaaa
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KFSDLFSD I wish to express my angryness sometime but I just don't know if it is really adequate What if I interpret their text in wrong way as they initially try to say ? I wasn't feel offended by what they said, I was just uncomfortable because their opinion is something I consider hateful. and what if i was wrong??? But reading you all's opinion just affirm that's they were indeed rude ! I should stop overthink, life would be easier Maybe next time I have a doubt I will ask my friends's opinion before answering ksdkfsf
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Oh my god thank you !!! If i can be honest, I draw Kinich this way because when I draw him w a darker skin for the first time, I thought "Oh !!! he looks so cool !!!!" and seeing a lot of positive comment abt my Kinich just makes me happy so I keep him like this ! And thank you for sharing with me informations !<<333 This is not overstepping at all ! And it is a reciprocate feeling anon ! It might be a bit weird but "angry" is such a complex feeling for me. I feel it but I don't really know how to express it in the most healthy way and it is super frustrating. So... seeing people getting mad at something I also disagree on makes me feel better !! And for this, thank you all !
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I SNORT SO HAAAARD Damn Macron you again..........!! I didn't put all ask here but I read them all !! Thank you for sharing with me your opinion and reaction, it is truly interesting (and way more relaxing that the hater anon kskskss) !! and again, your support is truly meaningful for me. You all have sincere gratitude Hope y'all have a great day !! Stay hydrated too <3
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messylustt · 1 day
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 ݁   𓂃 ៸៸៸ deer in headlights — rafe cameron + reader ( obx ) : when trying to help your sad friend at a party leads to an unexpected kiss from rafe.
contents : slight dick!rafe. nsfw intentions (not full on sex tho). slight dubcon (not heavy or roughly forced) tittie licking/sucking. tittie grab. kissing.
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your eyes scanned the party mess. it had only been an hour or so. but more than likely people came drunk way before. most go from party to party, trying to find one that won’t get busted. we’ll see how long this one lasts.
girls yelping, some giggling, most a boy crazy mess. guys hollering, others giggling themselves, nearly twirling their hair at the bent over girls “enjoying” their drinks. you couldn’t help but smile. even though you never found yourself in the centre of it all, you were far from hating the experience.
but that’s when you spotted your friend, scarlet, bolt upstairs, pushing her sleeve down to her fingertips to wipe the mix of tears and mascara from her face. you stood up, tilting past the edge of the couch to reach her.
“scarlet!” you call, trying to quicken your steps. what had happened? she either ignores you or simply can’t hear over the drowning base of the music.
you follow her upstairs. “scarlet?” you call again. and this time she shifts her gaze, her head turning towards you.
“hey..” you smile softly reaching her side. “what’s wrong? why the tears?”
scarlets bottom lip quivers, even if she trying to force it down, while her brows remain furrowed and bent with hurt. she looks as though she wishes to say something, but then she gulps. her expression pales as she rushes into the bathroom, but not before she shuts the door stopping you from entering.
scarlet was always a little complicated. easily embarrassed despite her confidence.
there’s a moment where all you can hear is puking as you try to turn the handle finding that the door is locked. “no. don’t come in.” she says, breathless after a moment.
“scarlet—“ you say in protest, wanting to help. “no! please.” she replies, cutting you off.
you sigh, knowing she hates anyone seeing her puke. “i just wanna help.” you try.
“no I—“ you can hear her hiccuped breathing. “i don’t want him to know…” her tone is almost pitiful.
“who?” you ask standing by the door.
“kelce…”
“kelce?” your brows furrow before thinning out. “is he the boy you kept telling me about?”
she sniffles. “maybe..”
“scarlet…” you say softly “what happened?”
“it was a joke. all of it. ‘sleep with the slut’.” she scoffs. “just because i like boys…a lot of them doesn’t mean i’m some…look liking dick shouldn’t be some god awful issue.”
your brows furrow again, but this time in anger. you hadn’t known kelce that well. only through living on this island, like most. but you had thought he was merely a guy looking to stay ‘cool’ or ‘popular’, not an outright dick.
not like his friend, rafe. rafe cameron. now, if anyone was to easily be called a ‘dick’ it would be him.
“are you sure i can’t come in?” you ask. “please just…” she replies, to which you ease her. “it’s okay. just relax…let me go get you some water.”
you rush back downstairs, squeezing past the out of tuned drunks, and high teens. you head to the kitchen. but as you do, you catch a conversation going on in the hallway.
“i fucked her over man…” the voice, you can identify as kelce’s. “i…why did i do that?”
“hey, calm down. don’t get worked up alright?” the other voice…rafe’s.
“nah man..” kelce sounds stressed, almost on the verge of tears.
“listen to me man. it was a stupid joke. she shouldn’t have taken it to heart, yeah?” rafe’s tone is dismissing towards scarlet, which honestly doesn’t leave you very surprised.
“fuck..” kelce mutters “but now she doesn’t…want me…want anything to do with me most likely.”
“then move on.” rafe replies, speaking as though that concept is a breeze.
“move on…” kelce mutters, repeating slowly.
“yeah, move on. you’re at a party for christs sake. have fun. plenty of girls around.” rafe replies, hitting kelce’s shoulder by the sounds of it.
you peek slightly round the corner to watch them.
kelce sighs rubbing his head roughly.
“go get ‘em man. go on” rafe pats kelce’s back as he slightly pushes him towards the heat of the party. you quickly return behind the doorway as he passes.
you wait a moment before looking back to where they were talking to find rafe staring straight back at you. you pause, blinking. rafe’s head tilts, his expression not one of surprise, as if he had spotted you the moment your head poked out.
“you always eavesdrop?” rafe takes a swig from his beer. you step out, darting your gaze slightly.
“i was just getting some water…for my friend.” you reply as he begins to head over to you.
“yeah?” he hums nodding, as he stops a few step distances from you. “does that water trip include spying?”
“i didn’t catch much.” you reply.
“yeah, how much did you catch, deer?” he asks, his gaze darting over your face and down your body as if he’s trying to place you.
your brows furrow. “didn’t know you were one for…names like that.”
rafe scoffs “i meant ‘deer’ as in a deer caught in headlights, not the other ‘dear’.” he says tapping his beer bottle on your nose, gesturing to your round eyes.
your nose scrunches in response as you lean back, rubbing it. “i’m not ‘caught in headlights.’”
“no?” he replies. “or maybe you’re just starstruck.”
“by you?” you ask raising your brows. “i’m sorry, but you don’t have that ‘wonder’ to you, rafe.”
“a lot of girls think different.” he replies. “you’d look at me with ‘wonder’ if you’ve been seeing stars all night.”
you pause, staring at him, before his words register. “ew, rafe.”
“ouch.” he replies, completely unbothered, taking a swig.
“the majority of people who you make see ‘stars’ are those who have a ‘your-shaped-fist’ indent in their face.” you say edging back into the kitchen, preferring that this conversation ends sooner than later.
rafe scoffs, his face dropping, as he steps after you. “you’re not clever.”
“you seemed affected though.”
“re-size your brain, it ain’t that big”
you raise your hands in innocence, as you turn towards the sink, grabbing a clean empty glass. rafe leans up again the kitchen island, his legs planted in a slight spread.
you glance back at him, wondering why he’s still here.
he watches you.
“look, i’m sorry for eavesdropping. i only cared because…” you pause instinct telling you not to talk about your friend with the likes of rafe. but he clearly already knows.
“oh you got a reason? you’re not just simply…nosy?” rafe gives a fake-surprised look, as you stare blankly at him.
“you’re talking as if you know me.”
“i do know you.” he replies simply.
“no, um…you don’t.” you look confused.
“yeah…i do.”
“maybe we’ve had like…one proper conversation…” you say.
“nah, more than that.” why rafe is saying such simple sentences is a bother to you.
“alright, well…just because we’ve talked a couple times doesn’t mean you ‘know’ me.” you say filling the glass up with water looking back to the sink.
“you think I pay no attention to the people on this island?”
“yeah, sure, briefly. i do the same.” you reply shrugging. “you’re acting as though you know my favourite colour or something.”
“orange.”
you look to rafe, staring at him. “what?”
he crosses his arms, placing his beer to the side. “no, obviously i don’t know your favourite colour. i’m talking about behavioural observations, not stalker material, doll.”
“i thought you weren’t one for names like that.”
“i’m not.” he replies so simply again.
you look back to him seeing that he’s not going to explain any further. “okay…” you mutter moving past him with the glass of water.
“that for kelce’s fuck buddy?” rafe asks staying against the island.
you pause “I’m sorry?”
“what’s her name again?” rafe hums. “sophie?”
“scarlet.” you say with a frown. “and she was never kelce’s fuck buddy. she liked him.”
“yeah, most do like who they fuck.” rafe turns to you.
you narrow your gaze. “your buddy kelce may have thought of it like that, but she never did.”
“hearts break.” rafe states stepping closer “big deal.”
“yeah, it is a big deal. she’s hurt. and fair enough, cause if I got treated like that I’d react the same.”
“would you?” rafe asks. “have you?”
“gotten treated like that? luckily no. but it’s because she puts herself out there way more than me. she’s confident. actually gives it a go.”
“what a star.” rafe mocks.
“you’re all talk, rafe.” you say “because if a girl hurt you like that, I’d think you’d be worse.”
“really?” he looks down at you. “and what happened to not knowing each other that well?”
“you’re a loud bully. i’d have to be deaf not to easily hear about the things you’ve done.”
“you make it sound so dramatic.” rafe scoffs.
“you are rather dramatic.”
“look, doll,” rafe begins leaning down to level with you. “you can nurse sophie back all you want, comfort her, but you’re really not helping.”
“how so? do you have a better idea to help?” you ask raising your brows.
“yeah.” rafe says darting his gaze “enjoy the party. let them deal with it.”
“deal with it? you told kelce to go scout the girls here.” you say.
“yeah, and you actually think he listened to that? kelce is a bleeding heart. sensitive like a fucking kids movie.” rafe states. “no, he’s gone to talk to her. she’s crying in the bathroom right? i guarantee he’s there too.”
“and what makes you think she’d want to see him?”
rafe shrugs. “not our problem.”
“she’s my friend. of course it’s—“
but rafe cuts in, grabbing your shoulders. “not. our. problem.” he states slowly. “you think you rushing in there is going to help? they need to talk. kelce needs to talk.” rafe chuckles. “though if I were him, I wouldn’t bother, find someone new.”
“well thank god she didn’t sleep with you.” you mutter.
“jealous?”
“oh yes.” you nod sarcastically. “wouldn’t want her stealing you away.”
rafe’s lips quirk up. “yeah?”
“you look way too happy that i said that.” you eye him.
rafe grabs his beer off the kitchen island, bringing it between you both. “drink.”
you look at the bottle then back to his face. you shake your head. but rafe just nods, bringing the bottle to your lips. you lift your hand to protest but your glass of water spills a fraction making your hands pause, and giving him enough time to tilt the beer into your mouth.
you’re instinct is to swallow, before you step back, wiping your lips. “ew, rafe.”
“do you find everything disgusting or just when it involves me?” rafe asks taking a sip of his own from the beer bottle.
you meet his gaze staying silent, as he frowns.
“i’m not some troll.” he scoffs.
“could’ve fooled m—“
but rafe cuts in. “don’t finish that.”
you press your lips together, almost smiling, despite yourself.
“don’t smile either.” this time rafe looks disgusted. “you look demented…” he then pauses. “…or pretty, hard to say.”
you scoff “great save.”
“i try.” his lips quirk up again. he looks around a moment before his smile fades, finding a certain spot behind you.
you look behind you also seeing a girl who’s gaze is hardened on you both. you shift your gaze back to rafe but he’s far closer then before. you instinctively lean back.
“don’t be annoying now.” rafe says.
“i’m just moving back.” you reply, not seeing the problem.
“hm.” rafe hums, rolling his eyes. though that action doesn’t seem to be for you, but for the girl staring.
“katie, right?” you say in reference to the girl.
“ew.” rafe replies.
“ew?”
“i thought you were well aquatinted with that word?” he steps closer to you, glaring at the girl. “what a pest.” he mutters.
you look back to katie, who’s gaze hasn’t shaken. “you with her or something?”
“don’t ever say that again.” rafe says harshly. “little bitch doesn’t know when to quit.”
“it must be that ‘wonder’ you possess.” you say shrugging.
rafe looks to you, deadpanned. “funny.”
“i’m just saying. which is why i’m confused that you’re bothered.”
“when I kiss someone, i want to like it.” rafe states blandly. “i didn’t like it, so that’s why she’s not over here and instead over there.”
you stare at him. “okay. then have you talked with her about that?”
“uh huh.” rafe says. “in one ear and out the other.”
rafe then focuses fully on you, an idea almost displayed in his eyes. you look back at him confused, your eyes darting a little nervously at the intensity of his sudden attention.
“are you a good kisser?”
rafe’s question makes you pause, even more confused, your eyes widening a fraction. “what?”
“c’mere.” he murmurs, his finger curling into one of your jean loops at your hips.
“wow, wow—“ you rush out placing your hands on his chest as he tugs you closer.
“look convincing.” he hums tilting your chin up. his lips reach yours, stepping against you.
your eyes flutter shut at the closeness. his mouth moves against yours, finding your bottom lip as his tongue drags. the suddenness of it all makes your head spin.
rafe begins to smile against your mouth, either at katie’s reaction, or potentially yours. his tongue doesn’t let up as it slides between your lips, reaching your own. his hand grabs your glass placing it aside before he reaches for your hair sliding his fingers between the strands.
your lips feel wet now, swollen, as you clench at his shirt to breath. he lets up leaning back a fraction. you’re blinking, licking your own lips in shock. you knew they were now red.
“what…what was that?” you whisper. you pause then glance back to katie who’s gaze is like thunder but she finally looks away, heading outside to the busy pool. “oh...” you say. “to make her jealous? really?”
“no, to make her leave.” rafe replies, his tone almost distant, as his gaze is stuck on your mouth. he then leans down and kisses you again, stopping your tongue from dragging along your lip repeatedly. he was far too eager this time around.
and this time you step back.
rafe nearly follows your lips.
“rafe…she’s gone, you can stop now.” you mutter fixing your hair.
rafe then murmurs. “didn’t I say if i don’t like it leave?”
“which is rather rude when you’re actually kissing a girl.” you reply, a little flustered, as you reach for the glass.
rafe slides it away. “you kissed back.”
“i was surprised.” you say.
“glad you have that instinct then.” rafe muses. to which you turn away aiming to leave the kitchen.
but rafe steps after you. “what, going back to sophie?”
“scarlet.” you say. “and yes. I’ve left her for too long.”
rafe blocks your exist. “you don’t like me, i get that. but if you want to help your friend, let them talk. and in the mean time, enjoy yourself.”
“so you’re suggesting I go outside then? maybe to the pool.” you say, as he shakes his head.
“no idiot. here. with me.”
“now that’s the kind of name i thought you’d prefer saying.” you reply. “and…no…thank you.” you say trying to move past him.
“you’re a good kisser.”
“how sweet. move please” you say.
“my god, you really hate me, huh?” he chuckles
“i dont know you enough enough to hate you.” you say “but i do dislike you…so….close.”
“at least I’m not at the far end of the spectrum.” rafe hums, getting closer and fiddling with the end of your shirt.
“you’re close.” you say trying to move his hand away.
“but not there.”
“rafe, what do you want?” you sigh, looking up at him.
“i wanna see if you look more like a ‘deer’ when my hand is actually doing something.” he murmurs for your ears only.
“I’m sorry?” i stare at him, surprised as if he hadn’t just randomly kissed you before.
“relax.” rafe murmurs, pressing against you. “ease up, baby.”
all you manage to do is stare as your body registers the feel of his.
“yeah…” he hums, tugging at your hair slightly. “like that.”
“rafe…” you say, still confused by his actions.
“come on,” he chuckles lowly. “it’s a party. don’t tell me you don’t enjoy it?”
“i do, it’s just—“
but he cuts you off, his breath hitting your cheek. “then left your shirt up, lemme see…”
your stomach fills with butterflies, your eyes darting over his face.
“listen, I’m bored.” rafe says his lips now pressed to your ear, his hand squeezing your waist. “and…i liked the kiss. so I’m thinking I’ll like the rest of you.”
“you’re—you’re just overly horny.” you say.
“and who’s fault is that?”
“hey, you were the one who kissed me.” you say.
he smiled as his hand sunk under your shirt to your stomach.
“rafe—“
“shh.” he hushed, looking down at your shirt and his hand underneath. he lifted the material. you move to grab the shirt, embarrassed at the exposure.
“please, doll, just a quick look.” he says. “none of this has to mean a thing, i promise.” his hand grips your shirt.
and strangely, as he tugs you to a darker corner of the kitchen, his hands lifting your shirt to reveal your bra, and the hum that follows, makes you wonder if he really means that promise.
because as soon as his finger traces the cup before slipping inside, and brushing right over your nipple, the look in his eyes changes.
you can’t pinpoint what it changes to, but his following action, with the grip in your hair is clearly a new promise.
if he doesn’t like it he leaves.
but what happens when he does like it?
he grins nearly cooing at your concentrated face. “don’t think too hard.” he hums as he rubs your nipple and breast making your breathing hitch. “keep that head small for me, doll. you’re a very pretty deer when caught in headlights.”
“you just like me dumb.” you say, understanding his words.
his grin merely grows, as he pushes your bra cup aside completely holding and grabbing your breast. “well, when you’re smart you’d push me away.”
you nod, as he nods too, chuckling. he then forces you to arch against him, as he leans down, keeping eye contact.
he swirls his finger around your nipple. “should I turn this red too?”
the moment his tongue reaches your nipple, tingles run up your spine. and as he begins to suck, the tease in his voice leaves him as he murmurs a simple “fuck.”
your stomach churns, as he nods, almost answering himself with a name he claims to dislike. “yeah…baby, don’t move”
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© messylustt.tumblr please don’t steal, copy or translate my work onto other platforms.
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sturnlovaa · 10 hours
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°•. IMAGINE — Matthew Sturniolo in desperate need of your touch.
cw.. protected p n v, period sex (mentions of blood — im on my period atm so you all have to suffer with me 😊), oral (f receiving), mutual masturbation, edging, y/n.
💌: 600 speciallllll !! gaining fast and i appreciate all the support recently — it’s insane. also, happy day one of autumn !
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the cold night air nipped at your skin as you lay in bed, the soft glow of your bedside lamp casting long shadows across the room. suddenly, a gentle tapping sound on your window broke the silence. you froze, listening intently.
the tapping came again, this time accompanied by a hushed whisper, "y/n, it's me," his voice was barely audible, yet it sent a jolt of anticipation through you. you slipped out of bed, padding softly across the hardwood floor to your window.
with a creak, you pushed the window open, the cool night breeze washing over you. "hello, stranger," you whispered, a hint of mischief in your voice. he moved closer, his features emerging from the shadows.
his gaze raked over you, hungry and intense. "i've been trying to catch up with you," he said, his voice low as he leaned against the windowsill. "you've been MIA,"
"busy," you replied curtly, not wanting to elaborate. you crossed your arms over your chest, trying to appear nonchalant despite the flutter in your stomach. his eyes narrowed, his jaw clenched in a way that made you wonder if he was going to push the issue.
"look, it's late," you said, uncrossing your arms and leaning against the wall beside the window. "is there something you need?" your tone was neutral, Matt's face darkened, and he pushed off from the windowsill. "yeah, there is,"
"i need you," he said bluntly, his eyes locked onto yours. the air grew heavy between you, charged with unspoken words and pent-up desire. "you've been ghosting me, and i'm quite.. overdue,"
your eyebrows furrowed as you processed his words. "overdue?" you asked, a hint of confusion in your voice. his expression remained serious as he began to climb through your window — his presence filling the space. "you know what I mean,"
he finally managed to squeeze himself inside, his tall frame looming over you. "i've been.. needing a release," he admitted, his voice strained. "and you owe me," his eyes bored into yours, unblinking as he gets himself fully through. "you disappeared on me without a word,"
he took a step closer, his broad shoulders blocking out the moonlight. "and now, I'm standing here, blue balls and all, because you couldn't even send a text," he ran a hand through his dark hair, frustration etched on his face.
you bit your lower lip, torn between guilt and amusement. "well, you are standing here now," you pointed out, tilting your head to meet his gaze. his expression softened, and he reached out, gently tugging you closer by the hem of your shirt. "yes, i am,"
"and I'm not leaving until I've collected," he murmured, pulling you against his chest. his body heat seeped into you, banishing the chill of the night air. you could feel the hardness of him pressed against you, a clear indication of just how overdue he was.
you stiffened against him, a wave of regret washing over you as you remembered why you’d been avoiding him. "Matt, wait," you said, pushing weakly against his chest. "i can't, i'm on my period,"
he stilled, his body tensing. "since when does that stop us?" he asked gruffly, not pulling away. "you know i don't care about that," his hands roamed down to cup your backside, giving it a gentle squeeze. "remember our rules?"
you let out a soft, reluctant hum, remembering the unspoken agreement between you two. "no holds barred," he whispered, his lips brushing against your ear. "to an extent, of course," his hands slipped under the hem of your shirt, caressing your skin.
"but it's been days, and I'm desperate, sweetheart," he rasped, his calloused hands gliding up your sides. "i need your mouth, your hands.. anything," his large hands slid down to your exposed waist, lifting you up.
carrying you over to the bed, he sat down with you in his lap, straddling him. his breath was hot against your neck as he nuzzled into the curve of your shoulder. "please, just do something, anything," his voice was low, almost pleading.
you let out a soft sigh, your resolve crumbling under his touch. "fine," you whispered, "go get a towel," his face lit up with a mischievous grin, and he quickly deposited you on the bed before rushing to your bathroom.
while he was gone, you curled up on the bed, trying to calm your racing heart. you could hear him rummaging around in the bathroom, the sound of the cabinet door opening and closing. after a moment, he returned with a pink towel in hand.
kneeling on the floor in front of you, he gently pulled your sweats down, along with your panties before pushing your thighs apart. "lift your hips," he commanded, his voice thick with desire. you did as you were told, and he slid the towel underneath you, positioning it to catch any leakage from your period.
satisfied with the makeshift protection, his focus shifted back to you. his touch was gentle yet firm as he pushed your legs wider, making room for himself between them. he leaned down, pressing his face against your inner thigh and inhaling deeply. "god, I've missed your scent,"
you let out a shaky breath, leaning back on your elbows as he buried his face between your thighs. his warm breath and soft lips sent shivers down your spine. his fingers gently spread your lips apart, granting him access to your most intimate area. he inhaled deeply, his nose pressing against your sensitive flesh.
with a contented sigh, he began to kiss and nuzzle your pussy, his tongue occasionally flicking out to taste your delicate folds. you couldn't help but arch your back, pressing your cunt against his face. he obliged, increasing the pressure of his kisses and sucking gently on your clit.
"Matt.." you whimpered, your head falling back as pleasure washed over you. his hands gripped your thighs tightly, pulling you even closer as he devoured you with desperate passion. you could feel the warmth of your blood mingling with the wetness of his saliva, soaking the towel beneath you.
you gripped his hair tightly, your hips bucking against his face as he brought you to the brink of ecstasy. just when you thought you would finally find release, he would slow down or change the pattern, keeping you suspended in a state of unfulfilled desire. "please.."
he looked down at you, his eyes dark with lust. "not yet," he whispered, his breath hot against your area. his tongue flickered out, circling your clit slowly before plunging into your tight channel. you gasped, your body convulsing with the effort to hold back your orgasm.
with a final, agonizingly slow lap of his tongue, he finally pulled away from your aching pussy. he placed a gentle kiss on your inner thigh before standing up and unbuckling his belt. you watched, breathless, as he freed his thick, hard cock from his pants.
"touch yourself," he demanded, wrapping his hand around his shaft and beginning to stroke it. you hesitated for a moment before sliding your hand between your thighs, your fingers finding your swollen clit. as you started to rub yourself, his grip tightened around his cock, his strokes becoming faster and more desperate.
"put a finger inside," he grunted, his eyes flicking down to watch as you obeyed. you slipped a digit into your warmth, your body clenching around it. he let out a low groan, his hand pumping furiously as he watched you pleasure yourself. "add another,"
you complied, slipping a second finger inside your slick opening. your arm trembled with the effort to keep up the pace while your other hand gripped the sheets beneath you. his breathing grew heavier, his face contorted with concentration as he neared his own release.
"fuck, just like that," he panted, his hand moving in a blur as he jerked himself off. just as you were about to reach your own climax one more, he suddenly stopped stroking his cock, his hand freezing in place. "no, not yet," he commanded, his voice tight with restraint as he reached out to pause your moments.
you whimpered in frustration, your body aching for release. he gently removed your fingers from your pussy, bringing them to his mouth and sucking them clean — he truly didn’t give a fuck what the circumstance was. "soon," he promised, his voice low and dangerous.
he reached into his pocket and pulled out a condom, quickly sheathing his throbbing cock. he finally settled between your thighs, the tip his dick pressing against your opening.
"look at me," he demanded, his voice hoarse. your eyes met his as he slowly pushed inside, inch by agonizing inch. you gasped at the sensation, your fingernails digging into his biceps. once fully seated, he paused, allowing you to adjust to his size. "you okay?"
you nodded, wrapping your legs around his waist to pull him even closer. he began to move, slowly at first, his hips rolling in a hypnotizing rhythm. each thrust sent waves of pleasure through your body, and you found yourself matching his rhythm, lifting your hips to meet his.
his pace quickened, his breathing growing ragged as he buried his face in your neck. you could feel his hot breath against your skin, his stubble prickling your flesh. the room filled with the sounds of your combined moans and the slick slap of flesh against flesh.
"Matthew.." you whimpered in his ear, your body tensing as your release finally neared. he must have felt it too, because he reached between your bodies, his thumb finding your engorged bud and applying just the right amount of pressure. "that's it, baby,"
your nails now rested on his sides, raked down them as you clung to him, the intensity of your emotions mirroring the power of your impending release. "i.. i can't.. please.." you panted, your voice barely a whisper.
"come for me," he growled, his voice low and commanding. with a final, hard thrust, he pushed you over the edge. your body convulsed around him, your cries of passion filling the room. he continued to move inside you, drawing out your climax until you were boneless and spent.
as you floated back down to earth, he covered your trembling form with his own. he held you close, his heart pounding against your chest, both of you struggling to catch your breath. after a moment, he lifted his head, his eyes searching yours. "mine,"
©sturnlovaa
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stlamb · 17 hours
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my mother and i barely talk but one of the most profound observations of me was when she said "you act so elusive, like you have something to hide, so people become suspicious of you. you've always been this way. but actually you never are hiding anything, thats the funny part. you're just hiding. theres nothing wrong with you." i remember how often i would get in trouble at school having done nothing in particular wrong outside of being confusing. oh lol also i would sneak out at midnight to go to the park, adults would approach me like i was doing drugs but i just wanted to swing on the swingset when nobody was there. i would break rules all the time but never actually do anything bad. overall i was a "good kid" but also somehow good at getting in trouble. even now i hide myself and hide my creativity and hide my intentions i run away from it, even from myself until people are convinced there must be the ugliest atrocity behind whatever locked door i build and i'll let them lol. it feels like some cosmic lesson that the ultimate solution for me is not to hide, but i'm always punished when i don't. also when i do. but at least if i don't try to be understood, if i'm misunderstood, its because that's what i wanted
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