#because the characters or the plot took a backseat to the feeling of the novel and the setting

[factual-fantasy]

Bonjour Factual! Sorry it's been a bit since I sent an ask, life has been pretty crazy! But I finally found the time to write and tell you how AMAZING your Transformers art these past few days have been! As I've said before, Prime is a childhood show of mine, and I'm amazed to see how well you have captured the characters personalities, and how seamlessly you've mastered drawing the designs in your art style (even if it takes time!)

Also, Im so glad you've explored the Optimus/Ratchet dynamic the show occasionally showed- and also I just wanted to point out your observation regarding Ratchet is correct! Back during the war on Cybertron, as shown in the aligned continuity prequel novels and games, Ratchet was an absolute BEAST on the battlefield, fighting right alongside Prime as both a field medic and elite warrior.

He really only took a backseat by the time he got back to Earth because his age was finally catching up to him, and because, as the last living medic/space bridge tech in the area, was too valuable to risk losing. As you pointed out, the few times he does fight in the show he proves to still be very capable, only really outclassed by the Decepticon higher ups. (So feel free to make the old man as cool as you want in any future works!)

However! Before I go, there is one thing that I must protest as a loyal Vehicon enjoyer! In your recent post, you referred to them as Drones! Among Vehicons the term "drone" is considered a derogatory term, which you'll notice some Cons like Starscream (of course) use often in the show. This is untrue! Though a lesser known fact, one I believe I've mentioned before, the Vehicons are Clones, not Drones! Every individual we see is an individual cybertronian, fighting for the Decepticon cause!

The show even confirms this in several ways! For one, if you listen closely, every single Vehicon who speaks in the show is given a unique voice actor despite their shared bodies, and many display distinct personalities- some openly loathe Starscream, while others seem to highly respect him for example. Breakdown is even seen casually chatting with one! And on the darker side of things, Ratchet of course knew he could torture one for information when on his synth rampage- and also, the spark extractor super weapon works on them, showing individual souls pulled from each helpless Vehicon! 😢

On the bright side, several go on to survive the war, and prove their individuality in the various sequel series- including the bounty hunter Shadelock, who actually had his face seemingly reconstructed to stick out from his cloned brethren:

As well as the fan favorite, Steve! Poor guy got his brain module scrambled and forgot his original name, so he just picked one off a human billboard he saw! (He also ended up turning over a new leaf, and he, alongside some other Vehicons, decided to stop fighting the Autobots, and they left on good terms)

But forgive the rant! I've Always enjoyed the Vehicons small but important role as not-so-emotionless cannon fodder in the show, and if you rewrite them as Drones that's fine by me! The new movie TF One kinda did that with the Death Trackers, who were directly inspired by the Vehicons! Regardless, I wish you a wonderful day Factual! Hope your health is holding up! ( Oh, and almost forgot, thanks a million for drawing foxy again! Still one of my favorite series of yours! Here's to hoping to see him again someday! )

Thank you so much, I appreciate all the compliments! :DD But all this Vehicon chatter feels like.. honestly like its riddled with plot holes-

The reason I say this, is because all that you said about Vehicon clones clashes with what we see with Starscreams clones in season 2 episode 10.

In this episode, Starscream walks into that lab and calls the base bodies "protoforms". But right after this he says "Lets give cloning a whirl, shall we?" And later on Megatron refers to them as "clones". So its safe to say that these 5 Starscreams are CLONES.

This is where the Starscreams clash with the Vehicons. First, they all have Starscreams exact voice. And they claim "We are as one commander." "We share your memories." "Your very feelings." "Even your insatiable quest for power." Yet despite the Vehicons ALSO being clones, they all have different voices and opinions. How?

So by extension, if they are clones and are meant to have the same feelings and opinions as each other- just like the Starscreams- then how come some of them turned Autobot, while others took pleasure in beating Orion (amnesia Optimus) down and kicking him in the face while he refused to fight? That doesn't line up with what we saw in S2 EP10.

And another point, the Vehicons had their sparks ripped out by the spark extractor. A spark is the "soul" of a Transformer. So are you saying that Cybertronians have the ability to create souls like primus did? These measly mortal bots have the ability to create literal souls and life via cloning? Talk about overpowered technology and playing God..

These few points made me lean towards other options that in my mind, make a little more sense then what we see with the Starscreams and Vehicons..

The main solution I'm leaning towards is to make them like Starscreams clones. An important point is they do NOT have sparks. They are like robots or.. dare I say drones- in the most literal sense. They all have the same voice and same mind. They were probably cloned long ago from a few specific loyal warriors that Megatron had. The originals don't exist anymore so now new sets of clones are clones of clones of clones. Which slowly degrades the quality of the clones overtime. Which is why you'll have like 10 surrounding 1 bot and NONE OF THEM land a single shot. Its because their aim and reaction time had deteriorated over the multiple clone generations.

Its also why they are so expendable and Megatron never seems to run out of them. If they don't have real sparks, they're not real people. So there is absolutely no loss to the Deceptions when they die. They can just make a copy of that exact fallen soldier over and over again. Its why the Autobots don't seem too upset when they kill all of those Vehicons and don't hesitate to hurt them.

Also Optimus could have gotten on Ratchets case when he attacked that miner because even though it's just a clone, its still a miner clone. His morals still apply to this creature. Also it doesn't have the mind or emotions of a fighter. It was afraid and wasn't designed to/couldn't protect itself. So Ratchet attacking it- despite it not being a living Cybertronian, was wrong.

Now all this to say- I'm not trying to insult Vehicons or anyone's love/opinions on them. I feel like some of my TFP views have been clashing with a lot of people lately.. I just cant help but read things wrong or get analytical or try to sniff out plot holes.

The Vehicons don't seem to make sense to me because they are nothing like Starscreams clones. And they have sparks, which shouldn't make sense.

So either I change the canon and remove their sparks and individuality to line up with the Starscreams clones, or I make them all real and individual people who would absolutely be much harder to fight then the canon Vehicons because they have real battle experience and real minds like the Autobots do. (Having real people would also cause so much more chaos in the Decepticon ranks that I don't think Megatron could keep them under control)

[teenageread]

Review: Onyx Storm

Initial Thoughts:

I’m really conflicted about this novel. On one hand, I was super excited to dive back into the world of Violet and Xaden, picking up the book on release day (which is something I rarely do), staying up way too late reading. I missed the entire cast and crew Yarros created, and I was eager to continue the series. But, was this the earth-shattering novel I was expecting? Honestly, no. While I don’t want to be overly critical, Onyx Storm falls into the typical pitfalls of a “mid-series” book. It doesn’t have the excitement of the first book, nor the payoff of the final one. Instead, we get a lot of filler plot, an underwhelming romance (more on that later), a cliffhanger ending, and crucial information thrown in to keep readers hooked. Yes, I was dying to know Violet’s second signet, but the reveal was far less satisfying than I had hoped.

Characters: 

Violet, as always, is the fierce and determined dragon rider, but she’s also evolving—finding peace with who she is: a dragon rider and a scholar. This time, she’s embracing her strength and intelligence, positioning herself to become one of the most powerful riders. But I couldn’t help feeling like Violet was still holding back emotionally, especially when it came to her mother’s death. She barely mourns her, instead, focusing more on Xaden, which felt off. Her complicated relationship with her mother, as well as her refusal to fully process that loss, could’ve been explored much deeper.

Speaking of Xaden (or “Xay-daddy,” as the internet calls him), I love him, but he was a total letdown in this novel. Stuck in a venin cycle, Xaden has absolutely no character development here. I wanted to see him step into his role as a province leader (as we saw glimpses of in the previous book), but instead, he seemed emotionally flat, only focused on Violet. He’s still incredibly hot, but felt like a side character rather than the main lead. His passion for Violet was there, but it was almost like he was there out of obligation, not because he genuinely wanted to help. It was a frustrating shift for a character who was so dynamic before.

As for the side characters, Yarros really delivered. While Violet and Xaden’s storyline felt stagnant, the supporting cast brought fresh energy. Ridoc, in particular, is a fan favorite, and for good reason—he lights up every scene he’s in. Sloane and Rhiannon take a backseat here, but it allows for some much-needed sisterly moments between Violet and Mira. Dain gets some great character development, and I was pleasantly surprised by Imogen, my favorite, who even got her own POV. I’m still not sure why, but I loved it. These characters are what kept me going through the slower parts of the novel.

Plot and Writing:

 I hesitate to call the romance “nonsense,” but at this point, that’s how Violet and Xaden felt. After all the drama and constant breakups in the previous book, we find them fully committed, practically married at this point. Their relationship is sweet, sure, but it starts to feel monotonous. Every page was filled with declarations of love—“mine” and “my love”—and while I didn’t want them to keep fighting, I needed more depth than just constant devotion. Even their "forced" breakup didn’t impact their relationship the way I hoped it would. The novel also took a step back in terms of smut, which I get was intentional for the plot, but it made the novel feel a bit flat.

Yarros’s writing, while still good, felt all over the place. There were a lot of filler plots and key revelations delivered in a rushed, “I’ll just tell you” kind of way. The beginning of the novel was especially confusing, as I spent a good chunk of time trying to reorient myself, flipping back to the map and re-reading parts of Iron Flame. The middle section felt like filler, which is expected in a series, but it raised questions about why Yarros rushed the ending. The huge Theophanie plot points came out of nowhere, Violet had some character growth, but it didn’t seem to connect to her grief over her mother, and the book ended on a cliffhanger. I wasn’t expecting a perfectly wrapped-up conclusion, but I really thought we’d get something more satisfying before the book ended.

Conclusion: 

At the end of the day, Onyx Storm wasn’t the novel I had hoped for, and part of that is because I (and many other readers) put too much pressure on it to be perfect. Not every middle book in a series can live up to the excitement of the first one, and while this one didn’t meet my expectations, it’s still a solid read. The series is moving forward, we learn more about Violet, Xaden, and the world they live in, and their relationship progresses. I’m still excited to see where Yarros takes the story, and I’ll definitely be picking up the next book to see how it all unfolds.

[readingtoinfinity]

DNF: Priest (Sierra Simone)

There is not nearly enough theology in this book and no, I'm not kidding.

A long while ago, I was perusing Instagram reels when I came across a booktuber or a booktok person of some kind. She had mentioned how she had gotten into Priest as a spicy romance and had noticed interesting religious discussions along the way, with surprisingly-accurate theology. I was curious, and I like the discussion of religions and rules, so I put it on the list.

I neglected to determine that this is an erotica with religious themes, not a religious book with erotic themes.

The book concerns Tyler Bell, a priest at a small Church in a small town, who meets Poppy, a young woman running from her past, and an unmistakable attraction and connection forms between the two... one that forces Father Bell to examine the vows he took.

I got about 36% of the way through the novel, and in that time the main character and his love interest had sex twice. Not technically by priest standards (it's a discussion Tyler has in his head during not-intercourse) but enough to feel Catholic guilt for it. I was expecting the book to be longer, more drawn out as Tyler tries to figure out whether he wants to remain a priest or be with this woman that he clearly loves. As it is, the sex is used to establish a strong relationship between the two very quickly and to show that Tyler has an edge he keeps repressed, to his own detriment.

The theological angle - the whole reason I had put this book on my list in the first place! - doesn't really come up too often. I skipped through the later parts of the book, so I may have missed something or read something out of context, but as I got further into the book I quickly noticed how the role of a priest and a priest's vows took a backseat to the growing drama between Poppy and her bastard ex-boyfriend Sterling. Though I can give points for accuracy insofar that the Protestant Bible that I've read overlaps with the Catholic Bible, it ends up being a minor plot point more than anything, a deterrence for the characters to get together.

I could connect with Tyler early on, the feelings he had of shame and guilt for feeling attraction to Polly. Despite the name, Catholic guilt is non-denominational; Christianity has a bad habit of shaming people into coercive, conformative behavior. I started to feel a disconnect with him when he had so little control round Poppy that he forewent his vows. This is probably a me problem more than a problem with the book, but I've not had the experience for being so enraptured, aroused, hungry, whatever you want to call it, causes you to act without thinking, so it's hard to tell whether Tyler's abandonment of his mantle is the natural kind of human desire that pushes you to find a partner, or it's an affectation for the plot of the book. In either case, it undercut my own suspension of disbelief, either because I'm ace, autistic, or apathetic.

But for recommendations, it's undoubtedly a very sexy book. The erotica is written in plain but arousing language, and there's a not-insignificant portion of characterization that happens during the sex scenes. The main characters are likeable enough, and the side characters have strong personalities when they're in focus. I found the plot with the ex-boyfriend Sterling to be kind of boring, kind of cliched, a forcing of a love triangle and a third act break-up that the book doesn't need. But then, the book is also quite short, so unnecessary plot points can be done away with quickly.

If you like romance, I'd have a hard time believing you wouldn't enjoy this book. If you like that 🌶good spice🌶️, then you'll definitely enjoy this book. And you may even learn some things about the way the Catholic Church operates, although as for me, I don't need to hear your confession.

[libertyreads]

Book Review #31 of 2024--

Icon and Inferno by Marie Lu. Rating: 3.75 stars.

Read from May 10th to 13th.

Before I get into the review, a quick thank you to NetGalley and the publishers over at Macmillan Children's Publishing Group for allowing me access to this ARC in exchange for an honest review. I was so excited when I got the approval email for this one. Icon and Inferno is the second book in the Stars and Smoke series which follows a spy and an international pop star. Sydney Cossette and Winter Young were thrown together for a mission last year and a lot of stuff went sideways. Which is what made it so surprising for Winter when Sydney strolled back into his life with another mission that needs his fame to get her into the game. Can they team up again and prevent an all-out war from breaking out? Icon and Inferno is set to release on June 11th and is available for pre-order now.

There is something in this world that I would keep coming back for a thousand times over. I love getting to see the world of glitz and glamor of Winter Young but I also love seeing the things that hide in the shadows with Sydney Cossette. The juxtaposition of these two worlds and seeing them overlap is wonderful and so delightful to read again and again. I think the author manages to find a way to take this world and these characters that are so fantastical and ground them in reality. The action is fast paced and keeps the story moving. The characterization draws you in to the whole, well rounded people who have such full and interesting stories. This could be such a long series and the set up being what it is would draw me in time and again. I also really love the way the romance is played out in this one. We got a small glimpse of it last time and in this one it was so swoon worthy for me. Toward the end of the novel, there's a moment between Sydney and Winter that made my heart feel like it was going to explode. It was so soft and sweet and yet the angst. My dude. Keep this shit coming. I'm so here for it.

I struggled with this one in a similar way that I struggled with the first one: in that I needed more. It's wrong (and frankly should be illegal) for this book to be under 350 pages. I think more description during the action or for settings would help ground the reader into the world better. I also just want more of this world and EVERYTHING between Sydney and Winter. The side characters in this one took a bit more of a backseat in this one just because of the scope of the plot. I understand it, that doesn't mean I have to like it. I don't know that there's anywhere to go from here as far as similar novels. I think the first two being missions for Sydney and Winter to go on made sense. I think with how this one went down it would be hard to do another one. But I could be wrong. There's still an opening there for another story with Sydney and Winter. I just think them going on a mission together wouldn't make sense.

Overall, this was so much fun to read and I loved seeing the foreshadowing throughout the novel. I think this is a great series for fans of Marie Lu or any reader who wants a little more spies in their novels.

[shadowtearling]

i realize books that are really atmospheric that you get lost in the feel of it are not... my jam lol i’m definitely a character/plot person over the atmosphere or feel of the world

[brightbeautifulthings]

Pumpkin by Julie Murphy

"'Or I could actually do this thing and then maybe someday everyone will remember how the gay girl with the crazy teeth took life by the balls and ran for prom king. Wasn't that wild? Wasn't she fearless?'"

Year Read: 2022

Rating: 4/5

About: Waylon is shocked and humiliated when his audition tape for his favorite drag show goes viral at his high school. As a joke, he's nominated for prom queen alongside his twin sister's girlfriend, Hannah, for prom king. Together, they decide there's only one way to answer that challenge: run for prom court, and show their high school who's having the last laugh. Unfortunately, it puts Waylon directly in the path of another nominee, Tucker, who's made it clear he wants nothing to do with him. Trigger warnings: alcoholism, forced outing (Waylon is out as gay, but not as a drag queen), homophobia and fat-shaming (countered).

Thoughts: I really adore this trilogy and its characters. While Pumpkin wasn't quite as good for me as Puddin', I feel like favorites in this series are going to come down to personal preference more than anything. The truth is that they all do similar things really well: queer and/or body positive fat characters and examinations of what it's like to be different in a small Texas town. I found it really easy to sympathize with Waylon, and I enjoyed his perspective and his humor a lot. It's also really fun to see characters from other books, like Hannah, take a more central role. I love her tough girl attitude paired with her occasional self-conscious vulnerability--because no one is too tough to care what people think, especially in high school.

Like a lot of contemporary novels, the plot takes a backseat to the character development, but the prom campaign is fun. (I also had no idea there was so much to it. I'm pretty sure nobody had to prove they were worthy of the prom court in my high school.) Waylon's development is especially good as he starts dabbling in drag and thinking about a life separate from his twin sister, Clem's, but Murphy keeps it all within the bounds of things that could reasonably happen in high school. There's also a cute mlm romance and a cute side wlw romance with Clem and Hannah. All in all, if you've been enjoying this series so far, I don't see any reason for that to change with Pumpkin.

[terrainofheartfelt]

I feel like this has been discussed before, but what frustrates me the most about GG is the fact that they gave most of the interesting and deep storylines to Chip and Blair. Don't get me wrong, I love Blair, but she got SO much attention from the fan base that I think the writers felt like she had to receive a lot of the more interesting plots. Not dissing Leighton's acting, she is wonderful. Chip, however, didn't really need the amount attention he got. His parental issues were only so interesting until they started to drag them out. Also, the business plotlines were not great. I'm sure some people liked them, but they just bored me. I digress; it would have been much more intriguing to go into depth in Nate, Dan, and Serena. Obviously, they were main characters, so it wasn't as if they were forgotten. However, they didn't truly get the deeper plots, and the fodder was RIGHT THERE! Nate was going down a path that he never wanted to go down with becoming another Van Der Bilt in politics, and I feel that him trying to break those family habits and find his own identity (when he wasn't with a woman) was integral. Dan, my sweet boy, was treated so poorly. While the Inside plot was interesting, that was really the only identifiable plot I could think of for him. The writers could have gone into depth on his own broken family, his deep-seated fear of abandonment, and/or how insecure he truly was when it came to the UES. Serena lost a lot of fan-credit as the show went on (understandable, but still sad), and I think the writers didn't know what to do with her. "Hm, yes, what story should we give Serena? Well, we know she has insane commitment and daddy issues, has never really found an identity outside her family and her reputation, and is codependent on her ex-boyfriend/step-brother." *sigh* "I just can't think of anything. To the dart board!" I guess what this, incredibly, long post is trying to say is that main characters should have well-written deep plotlines, not just some of them, but all of them. GG just dropped the ball, and it breaks my media-obsessed heart because they had such potential.

Yeah...a lot of my discontent with how the show played about can be boiled down to: It's Bad Writing (tm) (I'm too lazy to insert the meme but I always see the "it's free real estate" meme guy in my head when I say it).

Don't quote me on this, but I think S, or someone in S's inbox said that in the midst of the Original Sin and the Great Retcon, (i.e., the premise posed by Constance Grady that chip wiskers become a romantic lead instead of a campy villain), the writers took lots of plot lines and story ideas and shifted them from Nate's narrative plate and onto chip's - the struggles of family legacy, etc. etc. (@strideofpride beloved if I'm incorrect I give you permission to call me out in the notes <3)

I mean, I think Dan did get some good meat and potatoes storylines: the novel, the Pining Era, Milo (my beloved), I think his character would have benefitted from giving those plots some breathing room, but other than the Great Retcon, I think the dismissiveness of the writers was most blatant with Nate and Serena. especially Serena.

for Nate, I think that writing drop off becomes really obvious in s4, post-serenate breakup, his story takes a backseat to all the other happenings swirling around, and in a big ensemble show, that's to be expected, but he never really comes back to the fore front in any significant way - it's all in support of chip or Blair or Dan's stories, and if he has a love interest, it's for the sake of pairing him with the Guest Star of the Month (we needed more Raina Thorpe. we deserved more Raina Thorpe. I wouldn't have minded the weird boring business plots if Raina Thorpe was the star of them. Make her a series regular and kick chip wiskers down to recurring is what I say).

with Serena - and I'm citing dear S again - it was a slower decline, but you can honestly trace it back to s2, her waffling in the post-Dan romantic economy, them circling each other and falling out again. After years of her saying she's ready for college so she can move forward, she waffles between Yale and Brown, then she leaves to seek out her long lost father (who we've never heard of!), then defers on the school she's been wanting to go to her entire life? girl what? (I know, I know it's contrived so that the characters are all trapped in Manhattan but christ, write better!!). Serena especially, falls victim to a trope in teen soap writing that I've mentioned before: to fulfill the promotional promise of ~drama~ they are constantly upping the stakes of what happens on-screen: her boyfriend is a con man, her father is a medical fraud, she's working for a publicist, she gets fired, she's going to school, she's not, she's gaslit into checking into a rehab facility, (i don't even get me STARTED on b*n - I just don't have the spoons for that discourse, just know that I HATED it), she's Gossip Girl's favorite mark, she IS gossip girl, she loves her friends, she hates her friends, she loves her family, she hates her family. The poor girl is yanked back and forth and sideways nonstop for the duration of the whole series!!! And it's fine, to have dramatic, high-stakes stories, they're exciting to watch, and, speaking as an opera singer, they're exciting to perform. But the problem with them on GG is that there's never any denouement, the stories - and the characters - never get a chance to breathe, to process, to move on, and that's not how human beings work, and call me crazy, but a show about human beings should allow for that humanity.

the failed potential breaks all our hearts, hon, welcome to the fandom.

[depizan]

100 Days of Writing

@the-wip-project‘s 100 days of writing

Day Eighty: How do you feel about your old works? And bonus homework: say something nice about past-writer-you.

How old? My first SWTOR fanfic? My published short story? The space adventure novel I worked on for years? The fanfic I didn’t know was fanfic that I wrote in high school? The many, many beginnings of fantasy stories I wrote? The fragments of kids mysteries I wrote before that? The cartoon stories I did as an even younger child?

I don’t actually remember what the cartoon stories were about. Pretty sure there was a cast of characters, though, so I’m going to guess friendship was part of it. I know friendship was part of everything I do remember.

In some ways, my writing hasn’t changed at all. Oh, sure, I’ve gained skill and more of a sense of how stories work. The first stories I wrote were mostly the dialogue for scenes I couldn’t yet figure out how to put on paper. (But somehow I wanted that, rather than to continue drawing things. I don’t remember what made that change. Not that I gave up drawing, it just took a backseat to writing at some point in my childhood.) But the heart of what I write stayed the same through all of it: I tell stories, mostly adventure stories, about friends.

My childhood writings are interesting because I can track my development as a writer and as a storyteller through them. The kids mystery ideas were very based on the kids mysteries I read, Stratemeyer Syndicate and otherwise, I hadn’t quite worked out what I wanted stories to be, so they were just scenes: kids find abandoned house, kids pour over microfilmed newspapers at the library, kids find mysterious [whatever].

Oddly, I think my first finished works were some short ghost or maybe ghost stories when I was eleven or twelve. They were self contained and just enough more than a scene to properly be a story.

But somehow, once I’d worked out the whole “plot” thing, I was on to trying to write fantasy. Junior high aged kids getting sucked into fantasy worlds, mostly. (It’s very easy to tell what age I was when I wrote things, at least up to that point, because the characters were my age. Whatever that happened to be.) At this point, I started developing more complicated characters, almost by accident. The, er, Whoops, Fantasy World stories have pretty straightforward characters - kids from Earth, some sort of mentor type, villains, random citizens of the world in need of saving... Until the time I fleshed out a villain’s henchman who was supposed to be capturing the heroes, and discovered I had a thing for Trapped In Villainy characters.

Then I discovered Star Wars and 80′s television and started trying to write my own space adventure novel... when I wasn’t writing a Star Wars-Disney Afternoon crossover when bored in class. (I somehow managed to write fanfic before I knew fanfic was a thing.)

I struggled with the whole space adventure thing for something like ten years, partly because I was torn between a more cynical world of adventure future (in an early version, the main government faked a war for the usual money and power reasons, but that got dark quick) and a more shiny better future world (the main characters are only on the run because of misunderstandings, everything can be fixed with a little sensible explanation of things!) Also, it’s space adventure. Every single creative writing class I took or group I was a part of tried to get me to write something else. Either something better or something set in “reality” because, really, its not like I was writing actual science fiction. What’s the point of starships and aliens and different worlds and such if you’re just telling adventure stories?

So I wrote a detective short story, which I got published... in the fall of 2001.

It was ten years before I started writing again. This time with no desire to be a “real” writer - no classes, no groups, no trying to get published. If I remember right, I even sought out the SWTOR fandom before I decided to start posting my own fic. Yeah, I don’t seem to have gotten an AO3 account until 2013.

And here we are. If I wanted to be melodramatic, I could say I’m kind of the writer version of Harry Chapin’s Mr. Tanner. Except I do still “sing” for an audience beyond myself. At least when it’s open mic night in the galaxy far, far away.

[moviemunchies]

After Prince Caspian didn’t make the oodles of money that the first Chronicles of Narnia film made, Disney decided that they weren’t interested in making more of these movies. Walden Media managed to get 20th Century Fox to distribute a third movie with them, and hoped to do more after that, though after losing the film rights those plans stalled and were eventually cancelled.

[Fox’s entertainment is owned by Disney now though so all three movies can be found on Disney+.]

The Voyage of the Dawn Treader was always going to be a difficult story to adapt, because while it’s fantastical it doesn’t have a Plot that works very well for a big budget fantasy film. There is no one villain for the heroes to defeat; the quest is to explore and find the Seven Lost Lords of Telmar that have been missing for years. Drawing inspiration from mythology and medieval literature about extraordinary voyages, it involves the heroes going from one island to another and encountering very weird stuff. Also Reepicheep wants to get to Aslan’s Country, which he believes is on the other side of the ocean.

It’s a delightful book, but how does one translate that into a movie?

Walden Media decided instead to sort of change the Plot. Caspian is still looking for the Seven Lost Lords, but there’s also an ancient evil haunting the seas east of Narnia, and the only way to defeat it is with special swords the Seven Lords took with them, and place them on Aslan’s Table near the edge of the world. Some of the islands are condensed or rearranged in where they show up in the Plot to make it all fit together. Eustace remains a dragon for significantly longer, which isn’t a problem for me because I love dragons. In the end, the journey to Aslan’s Country is less of a metaphor-made-real about getting to Heaven as much as, “Welp we kind of ended up here on the way to do something else.” The result is I think nowhere near as meaningful as the book, but it IS a fun fantasy film.

Also the evil Green Mist that appears throughout this movie was apparently meant to be foreshadowing for/related to the Lady of the Green Kirtle, the antagonist of _The Silver Chair_ and so I’m more than a bit bummed that there wasn’t a sequel to this film, as I am VERY curious to see how Walden Media would have adapted that character.

Anyway the Plot goes like this: World War II is still going on and while Peter and Susan are with their parents in America, Edmund and Lucy are staying with their cousin Eustace who they don’t quite get along with. Edmund’s a bit bummed about not having any authority even now that he’s out of Peter’s shadow, and Lucy feels like she never got the attention that her older sister got. And Eustace is a bit of a useless full-of-himself jerk.

AND THEN THEY GO TO NARNIA! They’re picked up by Caspian (who after a few Narnian years no longer has a Spanish accent) who is sailing east from Narnia to find out what happened to the Seven Lost Lords of Telmar, seven nobles who were supporters of his father who were sent out to the Lone Islands by Miraz and never returned. On this quest they discover a strange Green Mist that haunts the seas and makes people disappear sometimes.

So it’s like that.

I think it mostly works as an adaptation if you can accept the changes they made. But there are a couple of things that are a bit annoying. Lucy’s arc, for starters: this movie shows that she’s envious of the attention Susan got from others because of her beauty. And while that’s an understandable character trait, it has never been seen before this film. If this wasn’t a series it wouldn’t an issue, but it is so unlike Edmund’s desire to be out of Peter’s shadow and be recognized on his own (a trait that was present in the very first film and downplayed in the second), this feels like it comes out of nowhere. I get that it’s to adapt a scene from the novel in which Lucy is tempted to use a spell from the enchanter’s book to become beautiful, so I don’t mind it too much, but it IS a bit sloppily done, I think.

We’re also told that the journey is meant to test our heroes, and by that we’re shown them being tempted to give in to their desires, and Caspian doesn’t really get as much of that as the others. Edmund and Lucy get a lot of testing, and Eustace gets turned into a freaking dragon, but Caspian’s testing is mostly limited to a couple of scenes at most. In the book he has more, especially when reaching the border of Aslan’s Country--his subjects have to bluntly tell him that he can’t go there yet because as king he has other duties, and it’s not until he sulks in the cabin and has a conversation with Aslan does he realize that they’re right. The film does show that he wants to go, but of his own wisdom knows that he has to serve his people.

Still, it is a good movie full of great character moments. Edmund took sort of a backseat in _Prince Caspian_ and here he gets to shine as a lead character. Eustace is delightful in how annoying he is and how he gets better. And Reepicheep, dear Reepicheep, who is AWESOME (and voiced by Simon Pegg this time around).

[Oh and Tilda Swinton appears as the White Witch in visions brought on by the Green Mist--which, if it IS meant to be brought on by the Lady of the Green Kirtle, who in the books has an unclear connection to Jadis, has VERY interesting implications. The real reason is that Tilda Swinton loved working in the first movie and was happy for any excuse to come back, and they liked having her so they let her do it.]

It has good characters, it has great scenes, and it has solid acting. The Plot feels a bit weaker this time around, in large part because they’re made up a new one and they’re desperately trying to “recapture the magic of the first film” (no really, watch any promotional interviews and that phrase, or something like it, is dropped a bajillion times). Still, it’s not a bad Plot, just one that doesn’t sound that original or strong. I think the movie is definitely still fun and worth watching.

I don’t know if it feels this way because it’s the last movie Walden Media made, but the ending feels like a cap to the trilogy in a way that’s both fitting and a bit sad. If you’re a fan of these  movies, you will definitely want to see this movie just for completion’s sake (or as close to complete as one can do since the series didn’t finish). I think book fans will like it, but if you’re a novel purist then it’s possible you won’t because so much was changed.

[ram-reads]

Review Summary: Even though I wish I could’ve enjoyed it more, Jackpot ended up being just an average read for me. I found the premise of the main character trying to track down a winning lottery ticket she sold intriguing, but the story ended up focusing more on the romance which was less so. I liked Rico as a main character — her love interest Zan not so much. It was one of those rich guy/poor girl romances which I can enjoy if done right, but I don’t feel like this one was. I didn’t like how suddenly they came to like each other too. There was always this underlying sense that they viewed each other with rose-colored lenses so it was hard for me to care about a relationship that seemed so surface level. On top of all of this I wasn’t a fan of the writing style and the ending felt really rushed, so I don’t think I’ll be picking up another Nic Stone novel any time soon.

Rico Danger is a senior in high school who works at a gas station to help her family pay the bills. Her family lives in an area way above their means due to their mother’s dream for her children to have a good education, but this just forces them to live paycheck to paycheck. When Rico discovers that a winning lottery ticket was sold at her workplace on Christmas Eve, possibly by her because she only sold three, she goes on a quest to track down the sweet old lady she believes is the winner since the money was never claimed. To accomplish this she needs someone with hacking skills and the only person she can think of is rich-boy Zan Macklin from her grade. Despite them never talking she convinces him to help and together they go on this quest that brings more joy into Rico’s life than she’s experienced in a long time. While Rico going on a mission to find the missing lottery ticket is the catalyst to everything, it took a backseat at times while Rico dealt with family problems and romance problems. I wish all three of these plots were merged together better because sometimes one would be the main focus for so long that I would forget the other plots even existed. This would happen many times with the lottery plot line when the story would start mostly focusing on the romance brewing between Rico and Zan. This was disappointing for me because I enjoyed the quest plot line more than the romance. Other than that I did like the story. My favorite part is how it wrapped up even though the ending went by super quickly, like the author got bored and just wanted to finish it. I liked having Rico as the main character because she’s independent and really cares about her family, two traits I share that made her relatable. She was also pretty funny which made her perspective enjoyable. It was illuminating to get Rico’s perspective because I feel like I’ve never read a book with a poor protagonist that actually shows how their lack of money affects their lives, at least in a realistic setting. The story doesn’t shy away from showing the true struggles of a family living paycheck to paycheck. I’m not filthy rich by any means, but I’ve also never been in a situation like Rico was, so I feel like I’ve learned a little bit getting a perspective on something I’ve never experienced. There is a whole cast of characters yet I feel like the only other character of note is Zan Macklin. Zan is the son of a rich family who owns a toilet paper business, which I found funny and weird; I guess it can be an actual thing especially after all the money toilet paper companies made during the pandemic. He’s made out to have more depth than Rico expects from rich people, but he’s still incredibly out of touch with how people less privileged than him live. My feelings on him are pretty neutral because I never came to care about him. I might have cared about his character if more time had been spent expanding on the tension he had with his family members but it ended up being completely glossed over. Since I never came to like Zan it only makes sense that I didn’t like the romance between him and Rico. I felt like it developed super quickly and was based mostly on physical attraction because they never took time to really get to know each other. They argued a lot but would always move on instead of trying to resolve their arguments. All of this just made it seem superficial to me. It didn’t help that this rich guy/poor girl romance seemed more focused on the poor girl discovering that “rich people have problems too” instead of the rich guy learning he’s out of touch with the majority of the world because he’s never had to want for anything. There were times Rico stood up and called Zan out on his privilege but not as often as I would’ve liked. I get that there’s validity in “rich people have problems too” but it irks me when that seems to be the main takeaway from a rich person/poor person couple. The one part of the romance I did like is that Zan was never made out to be an Adonis, even though he was rich he had pimples too! I cannot remember the last time I read a book with a love interest that has acne. Believe it or not this is my first Nic Stone novel. I was excited to finally read a book by her but I’m not sure if I’ll read another because her writing style isn’t for me. It read too much like fanfiction. I get that there’s some well written fanfiction out there that is even better than some of the stuff that gets published, so what I mean when I say that is that it relied too heavily on tropes. Each character also had way too many nicknames it drove me insane. I don’t think I’ve ever heard someone referred to as an Ice Queen outside of fanfiction and manga. The one part of the writing I did like were the chapters told from the perspective of an inanimate object that was important in a previous chapter. I loved when these chapters came up because they were fun to read and gave the reader more information in a creative way. While I did like the plot and the main character, Jackpot was an average book for me. I know part of this is because I’ve never been a big fan of contemporary novels and another part is because I wasn’t the target audience for this book. Sometimes a book can appeal to all age groups, but I feel like this one will mostly appeal to the intended audience of young adults.

[bookiemonsterph]

Serpent & Dove

Synopsis:

Bound as one, to love, honor, or burn. Book one of a stunning fantasy duology, this tale of witchcraft and forbidden love is perfect for fans of Kendare Blake and Sara Holland.

Two years ago, Louise le Blanc fled her coven and took shelter in the city of Cesarine, forsaking all magic and living off whatever she could steal. There, witches like Lou are hunted. They are feared. And they are burned.

As a huntsman of the Church, Reid Diggory has lived his life by one principle: Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live. But when Lou pulls a wicked stunt, the two are forced into an impossible situation—marriage.

Lou, unable to ignore her growing feelings, yet powerless to change what she is, must make a choice. And love makes fools of us all.

Set in a world of powerful women, dark magic, and off-the-charts romance, book one of this stunning fantasy duology will leave readers burning for more.

Title: Serpent & Dove Series: Serpent & Dove Author: Shelby Mahurin ISBN: 0062878034 (ISBN13: 9780062878038) Pages:  560  pages (Paperback) Published: August 4th 2020 by HarperTeen (first published September 3rd 2019) Characters: Reid Florin Diggory, Louise Margaux Larue Genre: Fantasy, Young Adult, Romance, Magic, Paranormal

I feel like I can’t even begin to describe just how pleasantly surprised I was by this novel. I am not a big fan of romance-heavy stories and one of my least favorite tropes of all time is hate-to-love relationships—so basically the two things the entire plot hinges on. Needless to say, I went into this very hesitantly. Very intrigued to learn how Lou and Reid end up in the position they do and to experience this story everyone has been raving about, but also keeping my expectations as low as I could. I did not for a second expect to come out of it knowing it will, without a doubt, be on my list of favorite books of the year. This is one of those books that I believe truly lives up to all the hype surrounding it.

Serpent & Dove is a dual perspective narrative following Lou le Blanc, a witch, and Reid Diggory, a Chasseur, or witch-hunter. Lou has escaped from her coven and has taken refuge in the city of Cesarine. She lives in hiding. giving up magic and surviving as a thief.  In Cesarine, witches are seen as a danger to all of society—they are hunted and burned, and no woman is above suspicion.

Reid is sworn to the church and charged with the hunting and capture of witches, sworn into a role that demands he will not let a single witch live. In a surprising turn of events, Lou’s and Reid’s paths cross in a way neither of them could have ever expected. A way that leads to their marriage, that forms a seemingly impossible love, and that brings Lou under the roof of the people who could be her source of protection—or her death.

The writing in this book is absolutely superb and cements Shelby Mahurin on my list of favorite authors. Her writing is gorgeous and so easy to fall into. It is incredibly clear how meticulously she formed every aspect of this novel. Both the plot and the setting are incredibly intriguing and captivating. I loved the French influences in all aspects of the story—it makes for a very vivid and enticing atmosphere and Cesarine is the perfect backdrop for everything that takes place. She also does a wonderful job with the dual perspective narrative and creates two very individual voices for our two main characters.

Even though the romance is the main focus of the story, the fantasy aspect is very strong as well and is of almost equal importance. The fantastical elements, though more of a side plot for now, don’t really take a backseat in terms of detail or how significant they are to the overall story. Mahurin crafts an interesting and intricate magic system as strongly as she crafts the romance. It’s something I’m particularly looking forward to seeing in more detail in the next book.

The only minor issue I had plot-wise was the event that sends Lou and Reid down the path toward their marriage. Though my opinion shifted by the end of the novel, as I was able to see every event throughout in a different light, the scene still felt a little bit clumsy and heavy-handed and also completely random, maybe a little too much so. It wasn’t at all what I would have expected and was a bit of a letdown for me, so I sort of wish it had been done differently. But overall, this barely affected my enjoyment of the story as a whole.

This novel holds one of the most brilliant and beautiful casts of characters I’ve ever come across. Lou is everything. She is one of my new favorite characters of all time—I fell completely and utterly in love with her right from the very start of the novel. She is so strong despite the pain she has been through and the terror and uncertainty of her life now. Lou is sassy and sarcastic and absolutely hilarious. She’s tough and guarded much of the time, but underneath, she is so intensely loving, caring, and loyal—just an absolutely beautiful person. I connected with her so easily, and it was an absolute joy reading from her perspective and following her journey.

It took me a while to warm up to Reid, but I definitely had by the end of the novel. He’s quite set in his ways and his prejudices against women, always acting in a very traditional way toward Lou. They are living in a time when women are little more than the property of their husbands and this is something that is clearly ingrained in Reid. He is protective of her and chivalrous to a fault, but it takes a while from him to sound anywhere near loving, even after it’s clear he has feelings for her. At first, I struggled a bit reading his chapters because his attitude and initial inability to be open-minded frustrated me so much. However, there is one major reason I noticed that I think prevented me from connecting with him sooner.

Yes, he is very close-minded in many of his beliefs and his actions, but I felt that there were a few times where things sort of got lost in translation in a sense. There would be scenes from his point of view where his actions and words felt a bit confusing to me and I took them as negative. But later on, something would cause me to realize what exactly he meant by what he said or did and that it wasn’t in fact negative. I don’t think I explained that particularly well, but basically, I think there were times where his point of view could have been written more clearly. In the end, though, I did end up really liking him and it does become very obvious how much he truly cares and would do anything for Lou.

I ended up absolutely adoring the relationship between Lou and Reid. It unfolds and transforms in such a natural way. As I said before, hate-to-love is one of my least favorite tropes, but it is done so well here that I didn’t really mind it. It’s still not something I enjoy reading about and that obviously does impact my rating of the novel slightly. However, few people can get me to like a novel that features this type of relationship, and Mahurin definitely nailed it. My problem with the trope tends to stem from the tension being completely nonsensical and feeling like it’s just thrown in to create drama, and you will not find that in this book.

The tensions between Lou and Reid feel so realistic and necessary—they have every reason to be wary of each other. Understandably, that they sometimes overlook what they truly know about the other as a person in favor of ideas and prejudices that were hammered into them from a young age. They are both strong characters that are unapologetically themselves and, while it causes them to butt heads at first, it turns into a mutual respect for each other and, of course, love as well. The issues that create conflict, in the beginning, are what come to be the things that pull them together rather than drive them apart. And the sum of both of them individually—the strengths and the flaws—is what brings them each to love the other wholly.

There are also some stellar side characters in this story. Coco was, by far, my favorite—she is totally someone I’d love to be friends with. The friendship between her and Lou is so lovely and I’d gladly spend hours just reading about them. They have such a fun dynamic and they always have each other’s backs no matter what. They are the definition of found family and their story warmed my heart. Ansel, a bit like Reid, took me a while to start really liking, but he turns out to be an absolutely wonderful person and a great addition to that lovable found family.

Now for one of the most surprising things I’ve probably ever said and also one of the biggest contradictions when it comes to my typical taste in stories. As I’ve already said, I’m generally not a fan of books that heavily focus on romance. However, this book was so well written that one of my absolute favorite scenes in the entire story was the scene where Lou and Reid make love for the first time, as well as the truly heartwarming lead-up to it.

I am beyond picky about how sex scenes are written in novels. So many fall into the trap of using overly descriptive and flowery prose and a lot of just plain weird words for everything. While I think that being extremely blunt and cold about it is not a good direction to go in either, the flowery descriptions and oversharing of details tend to make these scenes feel very awkward and unrealistic.

The sex scene in this book does not fall into either of these traps and I absolutely adored it. It just feels so realistic and natural, and that is exactly what I frequently find is missing from these types of scenes. Mahurin continues to write as beautifully as ever but is, I felt, fairly minimal on the exact details of the scene. And this is exactly why it works so well.

While yes, there is still detail, she relies more often on the reader’s knowledge of what takes place during a sexual encounter, which cuts out the need for the overly flowery prose and questionable word choices. In a number of places, she writes it in a “fade to black” way without actually fading to black. Mahurin has created a perfect example of how a sex scene should be written and how it should feel to the reader. The focus is on the passion and love between Lou and Reid—on not just physical feeling, but emotional and mental as well. It is so beautiful and natural and is, by far, one of the best-executed scenes I’ve ever come across.

Suffice it to say, I really enjoyed this book. It is so beautifully written and captivating—it is very easy to fall into and get lost in. Shelby Mahurin has created a magical and emotional tale, both heartbreaking and heartwarming that, at its core, brilliantly demonstrates the power of love of all kinds. The story and especially the characters will definitely stick with me for a long time. I’ve honestly been thinking about it constantly since I finished it a few months ago. And, of course, I am absolutely dying to get my hands on the next book in this series. I love how this ended and I cannot wait to be back with these characters once again and see their story continue.

[theastrophilearchitect]

I started writing a book.

And I’m mad about it, because I just started this post, brought up a new tab and lost it because I didn’t save my draft.

Anyway. That’s a thing I did. Wow.

As of this moment, this post won’t be going up until April 19th, but I’m starting writing this at 10.30pm on Sunday, February 21st, 2021. I’ve done a lot in the last couple weeks, and I want to have some record of all I’ve accomplished without just letting most of it fade over the next two months.

I’ve always wanted to be an author. From when I was reading under my covers with a torch past bedtime, through the years I wanted to be an artist, through the years I wanted to be a lawyer. It’s always been there - no matter what primary career path I went down, I wanted to be an author. The last few years, I’ve been invested in becoming a biologist, and that dream really took a backseat.

In the start of this lockdown, my mental health went downhill, and some advice my therapist gave me was just to prioritise myself. It sounds simple enough, but, even in my free time, I’d been focusing on schoolwork - revising constantly for exams I’m still not sure are actually happening. (Boris Johnson is apparently making an announcement tomorrow about beginning to ease lockdown, but we’ll see) So, on Saturday, February 6th, I started an attempt to coalesce the ideas I had floating in my head into something tangible.

I’ve tried to write books countless times (not technically countless - I have all the documents on my laptop, so I could if I wanted to), but mostly, I’ve never gotten further than a couple bare plot points and some characters, maybe some ideas for subplots, before I’ve stagnated and given up.

Three times, I’ve finished a skeletal outline. Twice, I’ve started to go back over those outlines only to realise they made no sense or just seemed week, and simply not cared enough to fix it. Until now, I guess.

February 6th, 7th, and fast-forward to my week off beginning the 15th, up until the 19th, I kept developing this concept I’d managed to form, but I was struggling to establish a coherent plot. I had up until and including a midpoint (which was later condensed into just a first act), but everything after that was just a void. I began searching for some skeletal structure I could apply to it, both to work on pacing and fill in the blanks. I tried several, and got a little further, but was about to give up hope.

Then I remembered a video by Katytastic I’d watched years ago about the 3-act, 9-block, 27-chapter structure she used, and couldn’t see the harm in giving it a go. And something clicked.

You can find the video here - the structure’s detailed and easy to follow, plus she even gives an example of using it to generate a plot.

I started binge-watching her writing vlogs in the background, and even started using her same writing program, Scrivener, which just made every a thousand times easier by taking away the need to juggle a billion Word documents. It’s fairly pricey, but I’m currently using the 30-day free trial - it’s 30 days of use, not of ownership, too: if you use it every day, it lasts 30 days, but if you use it once a week, it lasts 30 weeks.

Where Kat used the 27 parts the structure broke down into as chapters, I chose to refer to them as beats, and separate chapters later.

On Saturday the 20th, I finished defining my scenes and started writing an actual draft. I wrote two scenes, putting me at a collective word count (not including notes, synopses, etc.) of 2,580 words.

This morning, Sunday the 21st, I started over. I hated my opening. I’m not going to go through the mess of today’s process, but I currently have around 80 one-line-outline scenes, split into 3 acts. I wrote a draft of my prologue and detailed-outlined (which I’m mentally referring to as zero-outlining because it’s similar to how Katytastic does what she calls a zero draft, but is very much outlining, not a draft) two and a half other chapters. Scriver also tells me how many words I wrote in total, across notes, character profiles, location lists, a document I’ve named ‘Train of Thought’ for my ramblings as I go etc.

Today, I wrote a grand total of 4,141 words, which, rather counterintuitively, puts me at a draft total of 2,598. That makes sense. Anyway.

There are a lot of unknowns in the world right now, and I have no idea how much time I’ll have in the next six months to invest in this project, but I’d like, at bare minimum, to have one complete draft by the start of the next school year in September, which gives me just over 6 months. Which is probably too much time to actually motivate myself, but that’s not the point.

A manuscript needs to have a minimum word count of 50K words to be considered a novel, so, even though my ultimate goal for this project is around 80K words, 50K is going to be my goal for this draft.

I’m being optimistic about sticking with this.

Tuesday 23/02/2021 - Word Count: 3,099 I wrote nothing yesterday; planning to focus writing solely on days off rather than work days, but last night, watching through the incredibly long queue of Alexa Donne writing videos, I came to the conclusion writing every day, even just a little, would be the best way to ensure I keep working on this, so I set myself a goal of just 500 words a day.

Wednesday 24/02/2021 - Word Count: 5,350 After doing a little bit of maths as to how long this outlining and draft would take me if I were to only write 500 words a day, I decided to boost that goal to 1,000. I got started around 1pm today, online school draining me so much I couldn’t face another two hours. I worked on and off until 6pm, and around 4.45pm, I finished outlining Act One!

Thursday 25/02/2021 - Word Count: 7,022 I continued my scene outlining into Act Two, but I hit a brick wall around the midpoint. I have to write chronologically - some people jump around, but I have to write linearly, or it feels like I’m trying to make something in a void. It just doesn’t work. I didn’t know how to get from one scene to the next - there were so many things I needed to establish to get there, but I didn’t want to backtrack. I decided to re-jig the whole thing, but, after dinner, I realised I didn’t have to, and instead, decided to just start a draft, conscious of the things I need to establish as I go.

Friday 26/02/2021 - Word Count: 8,208 Starting draft one, I rewrote the prologue I’d already written, technically putting me to my second draft of it, because I’d been thinking about it for days and just wanted to revisit it, and it was so much better. Then I moved on to chapter one, but decided I wanted to re-jig my chapters. While outlining, I’d split the whole book into only about twenty chapters, but decided to go for shorter ones for more effective divisions of the story. I got most of the way through the first scene of chapter one, but basically ran out of both time and motivation, since I hadn’t heavily outlined that scene. in total, I wrote over 2000 words today, but because I only increased the prologue word count by about 100 words, it didn’t do that much to the total count.

Saturday 27/02/2021 - Word Count: 11,050 I got some chores done Saturday morning and focused on finishing my book so I could include it in my February wrap-up, but I still had time to get some writing done around mid-day. My goal was just to hit 10K this weekend, but I though I could do it in one day. I wrote about 1,000 words before feeling a little word-drained, but took a break for lunch, got back to it and wrote 2,400 words. Though that only added a little over 2,000 to the word count, it took me to 10K! I’m 20% of the way to being able to call it a novel! We’re in quintuple digits!

And then eight hours later, I wrote another thousand words and got to 11K.

Sunday 28/02/2021 - Word Count: 13,722 I spent most of my Sunday morning writing, though it took me more than two hours to write about 1500 words, though it only added about 1100 to my count. I decided to set myself an overall and weekly deadlines to hold myself accountable. Due to the fact I don’t yet have a clue how many words this will work out as, I decided I wanted to have either a complete first draft or 100K words (which I doubt I’ll reach, but it seems like a good way to make myself finish the draft before my deadline) by the end of April. Which works out to a little under 1500 words a day, or just under 11K a week, which is perfectly doable. Bearing in mind my current word count is including outlines, but I still believe in myself.

I wrote another 1600 words later, which took me to 14K, until I deleted the 300 word outline I wrote for one scene, but I worked out my words per day for the next two months with the assumption of a 10K word count as of March 1st and a target of either a complete draft or 100K words by the end of April, so I’m nearly 4,000 words ahead of schedule. Which gives me 6,606 words to write this week, instead of 10,328. (If you couldn’t tell, I like numbers. They just make sense to me.

Monday 01/03/2021 - Word Count: 15,005 I didn’t quite hit my daily goal, but I was completely leached of motivation today, I’m ahead of schedule anyway and I was only under by less than 200 words. It’s alright. But, hey, we hit 15K! Two days after hitting 10K!

Tuesday 02/03/2021 - Word Count: 21,119 This was an insane writing day. My end-of-day target was only 16,480, and that was still ahead of schedule - if I was sticking to the 100K by April 30th, I’d only actually need to be at 12,950 today. This was the best writing day I’ve ever had. I wrote before school and during breaks, which kept both my writing and working momentum up.

I didn’t read a page of my current read, but I wrote a total of 7,681 words and increased my wordcount by 6,114 words, or literally an additional 40.75%. I hit 20K three days after hitting 10K, and am 42.238% of the way to being able to say I wrote a novel, be it a shitty first draft that won’t be complete at 50K words.

I also finished chapter three, which I’ve been working on for three days and came out ~5,000 words, and wrote chapters four and five in their entirety.

Note to self: this is day 10 of vaguely outline-drafting this project.

Wednesday 03/03/2021 - Word Count: 23,364 I've only written 490 words today, as of writing this update, but I just wanted to make note of the fact I've done some calculations, and can reasonably finish my draft this month. I'm still not completely sure how long it'll work out to be, so I can't quite work out my daily words to finish on the 31st, but if I stick to my current 1,475 words a day, I'll hit 63,894 words by the end of the month, which is a little less than I imagine this draft will be, but if I stick to that as a minimum, my first draft won't have to go into April.

I'd like to post this later this week, but I already have a post for this Friday, so God only knows how long this will be by the time it goes up. So far, I've written 1,900 words today, and I don't think I'm out of fuel yet, but I'm stopping because I need to read today, and I'd rather not burn out. I'm over my goal, anyway.

Oh, also, I'm nearly at 25K, which is halfway to a novel, but I haven't broken into Act Two yet, which means this book will be 75K minimum. I'm going to do some maths and work out how many words a day to hit 80K by March 31st. 2,030. That's doable. So I haven't read, but back to writing for like ten minutes.

I've now hit an additional 2,245 words for the day, though I wrote a total of 2,663

Thursday 04/03/2021 - Word Count: 25,415 I've decided to work out how many words I need to write each day to hit 80K by March 31st, and watch the fluctuations. (I like statistics). It should steadily go down throughout the month if I surpass it each day. Today's minimum word count is 2,023, already seven words less than yesterday's. How exciting.

The last scene of Act One was very heavy on world-building I haven't yet figured out, so I stuck what was meant to happen in brackets and just moved on, meaning I have now broken into Act Two!

I think, during the week, I'm going to focus on just meeting my minimum word count rather than exceeding it, just to save fuel for the weekends, when I can write so many more words.

And, we hit 25K! I'm halfway to a novel!

Friday 05/03/2021 - Word Count: 26,693 In complete honesty, I'm beginning to lose momentum. Maybe it's just today, but I don't really want to write and feel like I need a break, but I'm going to make myself write anyway. I'm going to make myself keep writing until this draft is done, however shitty it may end up. I really hate first drafts.

When you say 2,000 words is only 7-8 pages, it doesn't sound like that much to write per day but my god. Luckily, most of the stuff I've had to save to a Pinterest board called 'Writing Motivation' says if you write when you don't want to, it should pass instead of worsening. I wanted to hit 35K this weekend, but I'm not sure I'll have the momentum. I'll at least hit 31,270, though, which is my minimum goal for this week. I'm still over 700 words off my goal for today, but I'm taking a break because my head is foggy and there's still eight hours left in the day. Besides, 700 after dinner is easy. She says, realising she's probably jinxing it. Oh, well. 80K by March 31st would be difficult, even if I weren't going back to school soon, but that's a stretch goal. 100K by April 31st is my minimum, and I'm 9,000 ahead of where I need to be for that.

I think I’m stagnating because I’ve hit the ‘Fun and Games’ section, which I find really boring. I’m going to try to keep going with it, but I may just skip it and come back later.

Saturday 06/03/2021 - Word Count: 28,150 So, I did not get the extra 700 words in. Before dinner, some stuff I had to deal with came up, and by the time it was done, I just wanted to go to bed, so I did. Today, I'm going to try to make up for it, which I think is reasonable because it is now the weekend. I'm still kinda exhausted this morning, but I'm going to do my best, and my wrist hurts, but I'm not sure why. You'd think it would be from all the typing, but only one wrist hurts - you know what? Never mind. They do both hurt. I'm just not sure why, but it doesn't hurt typing this, so that doesn't make any sense. Anyway, to hit my word count for the day, I need to write 2,555 words, which doesn't sound like too much, but it kinda is because I'm primarily writing Act Two at the minute, and for every thousand words I write, I lose like 400 from my outline. You'd think I'd just not include my scene outlines in the word count, but it's too late for that now.

I'm thinking this over, and I really don't think trying to write 80K by the end of the month is going to be good for either my motivation, mental health, or ability to function back at school, so I'm going to stick to 100K or a finished draft by April 30th, and re-work out my goals from there, based on yesterday's word count, so I'm not making myself do catch-up today.

So, to hit 100K by April 30th, I only need to write 1,309 words each day (which will decrease over time because if that's my minimum now, I'll probably surpass it, decreasing the amount of words left etc.). That's so much less pressure.

God, I really don't want to write today. I just want to watch YouTube and Netflix and read.

Okay, so here's the thing. I've been working on this story straight for three weeks and I'm kinda exhausted of it. I'm not done with it, not at all, and I want to keep working on it because it exists, which makes it workable.

I watched a writing vlog by ShaelinWrites yesterday, and she said she writes different projects at once, alternating in week- or multi-week-long blocks. I think I might try that.

My plan with this post and the following updates was to keep updating it until the day it goes up, the day after which is when I begin drafting the next, but, since I may be switching projects for a while and this is really about the project I've decided to dub 'Bay Tree' (which is just, I guess, a pseudonym for here because while I have no idea what it would eventually be called, I know that's nothing like the title I'd want to give it) so I'd want to start a new post for a new project.

I'm now doing a little outlining instead of actually continuing writing, but I think this will help me, though I'm still not certain about whether or not I'm going to directly continue with this specific project for the minute. Instead of setting daily goals based on a target, I'm also just going to say 1,000 words a day, and see where that takes me.

I've just been outlining into Act Three, and I've met a major plot stumble, but I'm going to work that out and explain what I'm doing in my next writing update.

So, go drink some water, eat if you haven't eaten in the last few hours, stand in front of the mirror and tell yourself how wonderful you are and how much happiness you deserve, and, if you want to write a book, stop thinking about it, and go write.

[libertyreads]

Book Review #18 of 2024--

The Three-Body Problem by Cixin Liu. Rating: 3 stars.

Read from March 7th to 10th.

I've waited about 12 hours after I finished the book to finally sit down to write my review. This is such a hard book for me to rate and an even harder book to discuss. It's translated from the original Chinese and it feels like I'm having little success with translated works this year. To be fair, this is the first year I'm really trying translated fiction so it might just be me. There was also the issue of writing style. I was told in college that American literature is mostly written in a linear style and so that's what we're used to; whereas a lot of Asian literature is written in a more circular style--often ending the story in the same or similar place it started in. But this one felt a lot more like a spiral. It discusses a lot of the same issues just with a different slant as the story goes on.

My main issue lies with the writing style...I think. I don't love coming back to the same topics over and over throughout the novel. Also, due to this, the novel feels less like a Science Fiction for me and more like a Literary Fiction with Sci-Fi elements thrown in throughout. Which feels so weird to say given how many hard Sci-Fi elements are needed to progress the plot. But we really did spend so much time discussing politics, the human condition, and evolution that calling it a Sci-Fi doesn't feel right either. I agree with others who say that the characters took a backseat in this story. They felt flat and cartoonish. And it's not like they took a backseat in order to further the plot. It was in order to discuss these topics that seem so important to the author. There's a reason I don't read Literary Fiction. I would also say that the hard Sci-Fi elements in this one are also suspect. I don't know nearly enough about actual science to point out the things that are wrong. But I feel like I do know enough to know when something seems too unbelievable. Because this book spends so much time trying to break down the science behind everything it makes it hard to suspend my disbelief.

I think there were a couple of topics that hit home for me but even those felt like beating a dead horse at the end. I also like the idea of first contact with aliens where the humans don't even understand their place in the universe or how crafty and manipulative the aliens can be. There was a plot twist in the last 40 pages that paid off really well for me in particular. But that part of the story was so small that it didn't impact the rest of it the way I had hoped it would. (I'm trying to be vague so I don't spoil it.) It was a moment of satisfaction in the novel that I hadn't gotten from it up to that point. And I think it's what lands the story in the 3 star rating for me. If it weren't for that, I think I would have landed around the 2.5 star rating. I won't be continuing the series or watching the Netflix show in the future.

[heyyy-hey-babyyy]

The Family in Texas

Summary: Y/N finds out she has family in Texas after receiving a letter in the mail. When her and the Winchesters head to the estate she has inheritated they find more than they bargained for. 

Pairing: Dean X reader, Sam x Reader, 

WARNINGS: Canon-typical violence, horror movie scenes

Texas Chainsaw (2013) Fusion with Supernatural

3990 words.

Notes: Please note that I changed the plot a bit, because some of it would not make sense if the main characters were Dean and Sam Winchester. Just saying. Also this movie is the worst, so apologies, but I figured it worked best for a reason why the trio would be at a random house in Texas in the first place. 

Spoilers for Texas Chainsaw (2013) below.

You slammed down the phone with a huff, blowing your long bangs out of your eyes, another reminder that you hadn’t cut your hair in a while. You had just gotten off the phone with your parents after getting the letter in the mail that you have a grandmother in Texas who left you her entire estate. You mother had no choice but to tell you that you were adopted, something they kept from you for almost 28 years. You had family in Texas you didn’t even know about. Leaning against the kitchen sink you felt the warm tears fill up in your eyes, threatening to overflow.

“Hey, Y/N,” Sam started animatedly, his long legs taking him quickly into the kitchen laptop in hand, no doubt on the scent of a new case. “Check this one out!” He finished, glancing up at you as you swiped at your eyes quickly, before turning around. You reached a hand out for his laptop forcing a quick smile, but he hesitated seeing your tears, pulling back the laptop and placing it on the kitchen island before taking a few steps toward you.

“Hey,” he whispered, putting his hands on your shoulders, hazel eyes burrowing into yours. “What’s going on?” He asked, concern lacing his voice when a few tears slipped out from your eyelids. He quickly pulled you into a hug, and you breathed in the familiar scent of the man who instantly became your best friend when you moved into the bunker years ago. You willed the tears away, as you always tried to be tough in front of the boys, not wanting to be a burden onto them. Sam, especially, had enough problems trying to keep Dean’s sporadic emotions under control, he didn’t need you falling apart too. You felt your resolve slipping, as Sam hugged you tighter, patiently waiting for you to speak. Taking a deep breath, you spoke directly into his chest.

“I got a letter in the mail. Apparently, I have a grandmother in Texas I didn’t know about that left me her estate.” You took another deep breath and Sam’s arms tightened, giving you some of his strength. “I called my mother, and she told me that I’m adopted.” The tears flowed freely now as you remembered how weak your mother sounded telling you the news, voice barely above a whimper. How scared she must be, already having little knowledge of where you currently were. But how could she keep this from you. You felt a surge of anger suddenly and pushed away from Sam, who sighed quietly, and let you walk away across the room. He always said you and Dean were too similar.

“I have a family in Texas I didn’t even know about, Sam.” You gripped the letter in your hand reading the words again, before tossing it angrily to the floor. “And now I have to meet a lawyer at this woman’s house to sign paperwork. I didn’t even know they existed!” You realized you were shouting, but Sam stood still waiting out your outburst.

“What is going on in here!” Dean said suddenly walking into the kitchen pausing at the scene in front of him. Sam put a hand out toward him in warning, shaking his head, but Dean rarely listened to Sam in moments like these, and when he saw the look on your face, he stepped forward immediately leaning protectively toward you. “What happened?” He asked, curter than Sam was, assuming there was someone he needed to hurt. You shook your head, too exhausted from the emotions ripping through your body to repeat the entire story.

“Y/N found out she’s adopted.” Sam stated. raising his hands and letting them fall quickly to his sides.

Dean glanced between him and you before wrapping you in a hug. The Winchester’s both had very distinct hugs, different in their own regard. Sam hugged you tight, trying to transfer some of his own strength onto you in your moment of need. But Dean hugged you as if it were the only way to protect you. Dean’s hugs were all warmth and need, and you loved when Dean wrapped his arms around you, no matter how rare it was. You didn’t have any tears left to cry, but you let Dean hold you as Sam continued your story, picking up the piece of paper you had discarded moments ago.

“It says she is to meet with the estate lawyer a week from today to finalize any paperwork. Without her signature the estate and everything within will go into foreclosure and the bank will auction off the contents.” Dean released his hold, placing his hands on your shoulders and holding you out so his emerald eyes could look into yours.

“What do you want to do sweetheart?” He asked quietly, searching your eyes to make sure you couldn’t lie to him. You sighed running a hand through your hair, looking at the ground and back up into his eyes. You didn’t need to say a word. Dean and Sam understood what you needed to do.

“Okay,” Dean said, turning toward Sam with his arm draped across your shoulders. “Let’s go.”

_______________________________________________________________________

No matter how many trips you took in the Impala, through brutal winters where the heat wouldn’t work fast enough, and scorching summers where your thighs stuck to the worn leather, you never tired of watching the scenery zip past. Since you’d been with the boys, the car hadn’t changed, and you loved stretching out across the backseat, reading or listening to the boys bicker, while you thumbed the little green army men that were shoved into a vent, left over from Sam’s younger days. The car brought you comfort, and you needed it in this moment more than anything. 

You felt Dean’s eyes glance back at you from the rearview window as you flew across the Texas border, an hour or so away from your destination. The night before, it had rained like you hadn’t seen, almost as if the world was trying to tell you something, but you shook away your irrational thoughts and silently thanked Cas that Dean could drive through anything. You sighed deeply and Sam reached a hand behind him, searching for yours and gripping it tight when you reached for him. While it poured last night, you found yourself deep in thought, crying silently for the family you had lost in Texas. Now, in the clarity of the new day, with Sam’s hand in yours while he shouted at Dean to keep his eyes on the road, as the older Winchester winked back at you, you have never felt more loved. And whatever happened with this house or the family you didn’t know you had; you knew the boys would be there for you every step of the way.

You were pulled from your thoughts as Dean turned down a deserted road, stopping at a large wrought iron gate that looked like something out of a gothic novel. You released Sam’s hand and leaned across the front seat to see better.

“Well, the lawyer said a big gate.” You stated with a shrug, as Dean put the Impala into park, its engine idling. Opening the car door with a creek, you stepped out and approached the iron entrance, the boy’s eyes on you the whole time. You all turned when a car pulled up alongside you, and Dean exited quickly, his hand carefully placed behind his back, where you knew his gun was.

A portly balding man in a too-tight suit, exited his car with a grunt, and you almost had to hold in a laugh when Dean let his arm drop from behind him when he saw the man.

“Mr. Farmsworth?” You questioned walking toward the man. “I’m Y/N.”

“Oh, I figured,” the lawyer began, his mustache lifting up at the edges. “I could tell from the car. Dead ringer.” He finished with a slight laugh that sounded more like a cough. We shook hands and you thanked him for coming all this way, reverting easily into the persona you used as an FBI agent with the boys. You could feel both Winchester’s smirking behind you.

“Anything for Verna,” Mr. Farmsworth said, shaking his head lightly growing serious. “She was a good woman. Salt of the earth. Though, uh,” he paused gesturing toward a crudely drawn expletive spray-painted across the gates. “Not the most popular in these parts.” 

Suddenly, the man glanced behind you toward Sam and Dean.

“I didn’t know you were bringing friends.” He stated lowly. You paused confused by his change in tone. “Is that okay?” You asked.

“Well,” he continued. “It’s your house. If you want it.” He glanced down quickly, “Just so you know. Verna’s trust forbids you from selling it. It’s all described in these papers.” He stated simply, passing you a large manila folder.

“Thanks,” you whispered glancing at Dean, as Mr. Farmsworth headed forward toward the gate.

“You can’t quite see the house from here. But it’s just up beyond those trees.” The lawyer unlocked the front gates with a stack of large keys before ambling back toward you. “These keys,” he said as they jingled in his large hand. “Open everything inside and out. Verna was big on security.” He handed the keys to you before walking over to the touch pad and punching in the gate code.

“0819. Best to remember it as a date.” He said groaning as he stood up straight again.

“August 19th,” you whispered glancing at Sam and Dean who turned at the mention of the date. Your birthday, you thought to yourself lowly.

“Oh,” Mr. Farmsworth said suddenly pulling you from your thoughts, “I almost forgot. The most important thing.” Reaching into his jacket he pulled out a letter sealed with wax. You gripped the letter tightly.

“It’s from Verna,” the lawyer continued. “Make sure you read it. And call me if you have any questions.” He finished handing you his business card and headed back toward his car.

“Hey!” You shouted suddenly, thinking that none of this added up. “How did you find me?”

“Find you?” the large man replied. “Honey, you were never lost.” The man disappeared into his car with a chuckle and you returned to the Impala, silently opening the door and stepping in. Dean and Sam gave each other a quick glance above the car before following and driving slowly through the gates.

_______________________________________________________________________

The drive was short, but it gave you a lot of time to replay the entire previous conversation in your head. You could feel Dean’s eyes on you, the corners creased in worry, but you ignored him for now, allowing yourself to get lost inside of your own head for a minute. It wasn’t until the Impala pulled to a stop that you finally looked up and spoke.

“Oh my God.”

The house could be described as nothing short of a mansion, white and sprawling, looking like it was plucked straight from a southern planation. You stepped out of the car wordlessly, and Sam and Dean followed, as you unlocked the front door with the keys Mr. Farmsworth gave you. The large oak door opened with a creak revealing a large entry way bathed in light from the front windows. You walked forward into the house, placing your bag, keys, and the documents from the lawyer onto the front entry table before turning to explore.

Sam and Dean had the same idea, splitting up and revealing a dining room, kitchen, and pool room, to which Dean took a liking too, racking up a game and throwing a que to Sam, who smirked.

“Rack ‘em up then, brother.” Sam said, chalking up his que.

“What did you say about my rack?” Dean shouted over the record he placed on the player in the corner.

“Shut up.” Sam shouted back.

You smirked at them before leaving the boys to their game, deciding they could use a little fun for a while. Toward the back of the room was a patio door that exited onto the front porch. Once outside, you walked further, stumbling upon a full cemetery, the various headstones suggesting decades of buried people below. Hoping to gather a bit more information about your new-found family, you trolled through the cemetery, careful to avoid stepping too close to the stones. Pausing you read the ones closest to you seeing the last name “Sawyer” appear over and over. Walking further toward the freshest grave you read, “Verna Sawyer Carlson.” Sighing lightly, you whispered a quick “thank you” before turning to head back inside.

You stopped suddenly when you saw a red van pull up and park, several people stepping out, talking animatedly. Your hunter instincts kicked in and you quietly grabbed the gun in your back pocket, and hurried to come up behind them, hearing the music switch off as you began to move. You knew Dean and Sam had your back in that moment.

“Hey!” You yelled, watching Sam and Dean flank right and left, so the group was surrounded. The girl in the front with the cut off shirt and piercing blue eyes turned suddenly, facing you. The others looked around, realizing they were surrounded and the guy closest to Dean raised his hands slowly noticing the guns.

“We don’t want any trouble.” The guy said slowly.

“Well, you pulled up to the wrong house for that.” Dean replied coldly before shouting, “on your knees!” The group slowly dropped down, as Sam and Dean closed in on them, guns still raised.

“What are you doing here?” Sam asked roughly, glancing from group member to group member.

The girl with the blue eyes spoke first, her voice breathy. “My grandmother just died. I was told to come to this address to meet with a guy about the estate, and the gate was open.” She finished shrugging lightly with her arms raised. Your gun began to waiver, her words hitting you like a brick wall. Could this girl be related to you?

Before you could react, Dean spoke harshly, “And where’s your proof of that!” The tone of his voice made the girl jump and let out a soft squeak, before she motioned to her bag and the piece of paper that was hanging out. You grabbed it quickly and read the words on the page, your eyes beginning to fill with tears. This girl was your sister.

You glanced at Dean and Sam who looked back at your questioningly, but you placed your hand on the girl’s shoulder and beckoned for her to stand up.

“What’s your name?” You asked softly.

“Heather.” She replied, glancing between you and the boys.

You nodded your head deep in thought, and you spoke without thinking it through. “Heather, I think you are my sister.”

______________________________________________________________________

Without hesitation the girl wrapped her arms around you tightly, her dark hair flying around with the motion of her movements. From behind you, you could see Sam helping the other girl and the three guys to their feet, apologizing quietly, and muttering excuses about being feds, his eyes never leaving you. Heather began to shake in your arms, and you knew she was crying softly, so you wrapped your arms around her a bit tighter.

“What’s your name?” She managed to choke out between sobs.

“Y/N,” you respond, not believing this was happening. 

She began to calm down a bit, and introduced you to her friends, Nikki and Kenny, her boyfriend Ryan, and a guy they picked up outside of town, who shook Dean’s hand confidently and introduced himself as “Darryl.” Heather can’t stop starring at you and to break the moment you give the group a brief tour of the house, of what you have already seen, Heather’s friend Kenny excitingly offering to cook dinner for everyone after seeing the kitchen. You glanced at Sam and Dean, and Dean shrugged, unable to think of a reason why not.

“Sure,” he said hesitantly, “I can run into town and grab some groceries.”

“We can come with too,” Heather states grabbing Ryan’s hand and gesturing toward Nikki, Kenny, and Darryl.

“I’ll stay back and start unloading stuff, I’m low man on the totem pole anyway. If we are planning to stay here for a while, we better get unpacked!” Darryl states with a grin, heading toward the red van, Heather and the trio following.

You gripped Dean’s arm lightly, watching the group unpack their bags. “I don’t like you going alone with them, Dean,” you said wearily, rubbing a hand down your face, exhausted from the last half hour. He gnawed at his bottom lip a bit and nods, looking toward the group and back toward you and Sam, letting out the breath he was holding.

“Well, I’m not about to leave you here with just this random guy. And we can’t leave the house alone. Sam, stay with Y/N and I’ll go with the teens.” Rolling his eyes, he glanced at you and gripped you softly around the shoulders. “I’ll be fine.” He finished quietly, so only you could hear, before heading toward the Impala barking out a gruff “let’s go!” to the group. Ryan began raving loudly about the car before his voice is cut off by the slam of the front door. Dean winked at you through the windshield and peeled out down the driveway, leaving you in the dust with Sam, and Darryl.  

_______________________________________________________________________

“Hey,” Sam asks you quietly, sitting down on the front steps as you stared out across the estate. “How you doing?” He places his hand around your shoulder and pulls you close, planting a soft kiss to your forehead. Darryl was inside exploring the upstairs. You left him too it after you figured he wasn’t going to burn down the house with you sitting right there and stepped outside for some fresh air. You had been out there about ten minutes when Sam showed up.

“I don’t know Sam,” you finally answered, pushing your bangs out of your eyes to glance up into his. “Isn’t this all…. Weird?” You finished not knowing how else to phrase it. Sam shrugged, nodding his head slowly.

“Yeah,” he began pulling you closer as you shivered a bit against him. “I have to admit, I never expected to actually meet some of your family when we came out here. But honestly, our entire lives are weird. Maybe we shouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth?” He finished with a shrug, his thumb rubbing soft circles against your shoulder.

“Besides, they all seem normal enough. More normal than you anyway.” He grins wide and you scoff and bump against his shoulder lightly giggling.

He smirks at you and you lean in closer jumping when you suddenly hear a clatter from inside. Sam glances at you and rushes inside, you following close behind.

“Darryl!” You yell, looking around the entry way, Sam searching through the pool room and the kitchen.

You glance into the dining room and let out a “son of a bitch” under your breath.

“I don’t see him,” Sam said walking around the corner. You huff out a breath and roll your eyes, pointing toward the missing silverware and candle stick holders. Sam shook his head lightly and sighed, “probably took off.” You nodded, hearing the roar of the Impala come up the drive.

_______________________________________________________________________

“Fucking thief!” Heather yelled stomping into the house, after Sam told her where we figured Darryl ended up. You stood back silent, your anger getting the best of you in that moment. You didn’t know any of the group from Adam at this point but felt betrayal anyway. They should have never picked up that guy up, you thought to yourself. Sam and Nikki helped calm Heather down reiterating what Sam had told me minutes earlier, “that it’s just stuff.” You nodded at her, accepting her apologetic hug, and everyone returned to the house to prepare for dinner, Ryan popping a bottle of Champagne, Dean rolling his eyes at the “girly drink” but accepting some anyway. You smirked at him from behind your bangs and he stuck his tongue out at you like a child, downing the liquid.

An hour later the drinking was amped up and Ryan and Dean were locked in a death match style pool game, while Kenny whistled away in the kitchen preparing a feast. Ryan insisted on playing some music from “this century” and turned on some rap much to Dean’s dismay, the bass bumping loudly against the wooden floors. However, you let out a scoff when you saw him eyeing Nikki who was swaying her hips in the corner. Sam, Heather, and you were off to the side watching the game, Heather asking you question after question about your life and you expertly avoiding spilling too many details. It wasn’t quite time for “the talk.”

“Son of a bitch!” Dean yelled in frustration losing the game by one ball, Ryan having similarly lost a half hour ago, leaving them tied. Ryan chuckled from the corner, and you saw Dean’s jaw tick slightly. You rolled your eyes looking at Sam who looked amused.

“Is he always this serious?” Heather asked gesturing toward Dean, a look of genuine curiosity on her face. You giggled under your breath thinking about how to answer, when Sam jumped in. “Dean is very complex,” he responded taking a sip of his drink. Heather raised her eyebrows and Sam didn’t continue leaving you openly laughing at how accurate that explanation really was.

“So. Which brother is yours?” Heather spoke again suddenly, making Sam choke on his drink, his face turning red. You roared with laughter unable to contain it, prompting Dean’s attention and he waggled his eyebrows at you suggestively, and bent further over the table, completely misinterpreting your gaze. You rolled your eyes in response and turned back to Heather.

“Neither.” You answered simply, shrugging, not sure how else to respond. Heather seemed to accept that, and returned back to watching the pool game, Sam giving you a small smile. Maybe in a different life you and one of the Winchesters would have worked, but there was too much baggage now. Too much trauma. Sam was your best friend, and you knew enough about him to know that he still deeply mourned his first love, Jessica. And Dean. Well Dean was Dean, and you figured he preferred his life jumping from girl to girl. You weren’t naïve enough to think you met his standards in that department.

Suddenly, you couldn’t stand to be in the room, it beginning feel stifling hot. You stood up, and muttered something about exploring upstairs. Sam made a move to follow, but you shook him off with a smile, doing the same to Dean when he put down his pool que. Once away from the burden of 20 questions and your own thoughts about the brothers, you climbed the staircase heading upstairs, pausing to look at each picture you passed, many of them family pictures, each member wearing a chain with an S hanging from it. You paused in front of a portrait of a woman with Y/H/C hair that looked eerily like you, when you noticed something that set you back on your heels. Reaching up you yanked down your shirt revealing the odd scar you have right below your right collar bone, reflecting the same design as the woman’s necklace. It looked almost as if you had been branded at some point. What was going on?

You kept walking upstairs, finding what must have been your grandmother’s room, complete with old spray bottles of perfume and clothing. Sifting through it all, you held up one of the dresses looking back into the mirror when you saw a corpse positioned in the chair behind the mirror, startling you enough that you let out a scream. 

Moments later, you heard footsteps pounding up the stairs and Sam and Dean rush into the room, guns at the ready, lowering them when they see you standing there, one hand over your mouth a silent tear falling.

“We can’t let Heather see her like this.” You said quietly, turning your back on the shriveled body. Sam quickly covers it with the blanket from the bed, when you hear a scream from below, all three of you rushing down the stairs hearing Heather screaming “you guys!” 

You turn the corner into the kitchen where you see the large figure of a man, dressed in a red shirt and pants, cutting the fingers off a severed hand. Each finger plunked uselessly into the bowl beneath him. Before anyone can react, the stranger turns toward you all, and you see that instead of the pale hue of his face, it’s as if he’s wearing a mask, of pale-yellow human skin.

Part II? Let me know in the comments! 

[mediaeval-muse]

Book Review

Once Upon a Marquess by Courtney Milan. CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform. 2015.

Rating: 3/5 stars

Genre: historical romance

Part of a Series? Yes, The Worth Saga #1

Summary:  The last man Judith Worth wants to see again is Christian Trent, the Marquess of Ashford—the man who spent summers at her family home, who kissed her one magical night…and then heartlessly ruined her father. But when a tricky business matter arises, he’s the only one she can ask for help. With any luck, he’ll engage a servant to take care of the matter, and she won’t even have to talk with him. But Ashford has never forgotten Judith. He knows she will never forgive him for what he’s done, but when offered the chance to assist her, he arrives in person. His memory of Judith may have haunted him, but it pales in comparison to the reality of the vivacious, beautiful woman he rediscovers. Throughout his life, he has always done what is correct. But now, he finds himself doing something utterly wrong…falling in love with the one woman he can never have.

***Full review under the cut.***

Trigger Warnings: references to bullying, poverty, drug addiction, imperialism

Overview: I normally enjoy Courtney Milan books, but this one was somewhat of a miss for me. I adored the main heroine, who was independent and capable (as almost all Milan’s heroines), but I missed a lot of what made me love the Turner Series and Brothers Sinister Series - namely, a narrative arc about women finding their strength and the main couple developing together. While there was some of that, it definitely took a backseat to the relationship between Judith and her family. While well-written and a refreshing change of pace, I ultimately felt there was simultaneously too much going on in the book (in terms of the plot to uncover the family’s circumstances and their past) and not enough (in terms of the romance).

Writing: This book seemed to be a bit rushed in terms of its pacing (especially the end), and some scenes lacked the deep, emotional connection that I loved in Milan’s other novels. For example, the intimate scenes felt like they were dropped in and written in a way to “get them over with,” instead of feeling like an integral part of the relationship between the love interests. Likewise, the jocular tone between the love interests was hit-or-miss and tended to take up space that could have been dedicated to plot points or delving deeper into the complex emotions surrounding the protagonists’ pasts. I admire Milan’s efforts to give us something more light-hearted (compared to some of her other novels), and her attempt to give us a hero that uses jokes to avoid talking about difficult things, but the jokes didn’t always land for me, and I thought they obscured some of the angst that was clearly lurking beneath the surface.

I also think the “once-upon-a-time” elements were a bit shoe-horned in. The title of this book evokes some kind of fairy tale mentality, yet that didn’t quite come through in the narrative in ways that I thought were meaningful. Judith doesn’t really reminisce on her past in a fairy tale-eque way, nor does she spend a lot of time daydreaming about what could have been. She does think about it, sometimes, but she’s so down-to-earth that I think the references would have been more successful if applied to a heroine who is more obsessed with stories or has trouble living in the present.

Plot: The main plot of this novel follows Judith and Christian, childhood friends-turned-sweethearts, and their reconnection 8 years after Christian testifies against Judith’s father and brother for treason. Judith is living in relative poverty and asks Christian to help her as she tries to track down some missing money as well as her missing sister. Christian agrees to do so in exchange for a journal that might assuage his guilty conscience.

I quite liked the complicated situation regarding whether or not Christian did the right thing by testifying against the brother, even if the treason was in service to a greater moral good. Following the protagonists as they tried to figure out who was at fault for their current situation, as well as what the meaning of justice was, really made my brain work and complicated the romantic relationship in interesting ways.

I do wish, however, more time was given to the unfolding of the events towards the end of the novel. Without spoiling anything, I will say that the journal contents present some interesting facts that I wish had been part of the overall plot instead of a detail that brings about the end of the book. I think investigating the contents of the journal could have been fun, though I am not sure how they could have fit with the other things happening in the narrative.

Characters: Judith, our heroine, is incredibly likable as a provider for her family. She puts her siblings first and does whatever she can to give them a good life, including risking a scandal by designing clockworks to sell to manufacturers. I quite liked that a portion of this book was devoted to her learning to take time for herself, as well as time to listen to what her siblings wanted for themselves. Her attitude towards food and swearing on water fowl was likewise charming, though sometimes, I felt that these aspects lightened an otherwise somber moment.

Christian, our hero, is constantly making jokes in the attempt to avoid talking about anything uncomfortable. I love characters who hide pain in this way, as it gives creators an opportunity to explore their flaws and get at their emotional vulnerability in interesting ways, but ultimately, I didn’t feel like Christian grew too much or was forced into situations where his humor couldn’t protect him. This isn’t to say I want my heroes tormented, but I would have liked to see him challenged a little more.

I did, however, love the dynamic between Judith and her siblings, as well as between Judith and her friend, Daisy. I think these relationships had more gravity than the romantic one, and I loved seeing how Judith’s interactions challenged and frustrated her while also showing what truly mattered.

Other: While I loved that Judith and Christian’s relationship was built on a shared past, something about their romance didn’t click for me. I think it’s because so much of the book is focused on Judith and her family (perhaps to set up the rest of the Worth Saga?) that it felt like the romance took a backseat. Judith and Christian got along from the start, and though there is some tension between them, I never really felt like the angst was present enough to truly threaten their future. While I don’t think this book needed to wallow in angst, I do think there needed to be some “heavier” moments to show that the relationship developed in the face of real challenges. One of the better moments was when Christian disclosed his past addiction, which changed the way Judith looked at her brother’s actions (rather than her feelings towards Christian). I thought this was a brilliant development in the way they interacted and understood each other, and I wish there were more moments like these, that reveled something about each other or changed the way they saw the world.

Recommendations: I would recommend this book if you’re interested in historical romance (especially set in 1860s London), childhood friends to lovers, and questions of morality and justice.

[anjibooks]

The Faithful & The Fallen by John Gwynne (Book Review)

Epic fantasies have always been right down my alleyway, and boy, this series definitely falls into that category. My cousin and I are both fantasy lovers, so we agreed on a book exchange-- buying each other the first book in a series and then promising to read the book that we were given. He bought me Malice, book one in the epic high fantasy series. And I'll be the first to admit that it took me a while to actually get around to reading it. As with many high fantasy series, the first book started out rather slow, in fact from what I recall the whole book was pretty slow. Like any good high fantasy, it really had to establish the world and the characters in the first book so we can really get to the good stuff in later books with a strong grasp on the world and also an attachment to the characters. This is exactly what Malice does. The first few chapters of Malice are very slow. I remember reading those at a very busy time in my life and then putting the book down as it just didn't seem worth using the time to force myself through. Then back around spring break I actually sat down to finish it. Yes, I'll be the first to admit that these books are a hefty commitment, emphasis on hefty because wow those are fat books to be carrying around, but trust me, they're actually really worth what can only be described as an epic length. While the Faithful and the Fallen doesn't fall into an absolute favorites category, I can promise you they are enjoyable reads that will suck you in with an intriguing plotline and fascinating world. Overall I'd give the series 7/10 stars. I did end up binging out on the last three books after finally finishing the first. It's like the first is the giant scale up the mountain, and the rest you're on a sled going down the other side of Everest. Though they are riveting reads, I have to admit there are some very prominent flaws with the stories that really irked me, especially after finishing the series, but more on that later. I would highly recommend this series to anyone who has a love for epic high fantasy stories, the kind with individual storylines that eventually intertwine. There's war, lots and lots of war, high stakes, and some intriguing mythology. Anyway, if you're interested here's a little overview on what this series is about. It's actually pretty hard to explain without giving anything away since the scope really expands more and more after the first book, but I think it's pretty safe saying that the story starts out with four main characters-- or really three main characters and one almost main side character: Corban, Veradis, Nathair and Evnis. Corban is a peasant boy, dreaming of the day he turns fourteen so that he can join the training to become a soldier. (If you're thinking wow that's young, I don't really want to be reading a middle grade novel-- don't worry! Not a middle grade novel, and A LOT of time passes over the course of these books (which makes sense seeing how gargantuan they are). Corban ages quite a lot throughout). Veradis is a skilled soldier, who befriends Nathair-- a prince with big aspirations and plans for the future. And Evnis... well, I'll let you see about Evnis. These are only the MAIN characters of the first book, there are a lot more characters and storylines woven in throughout the next novels. Anyway, that was a sucky synopsis so here's a real one: A black sun is rising … Young Corban watches enviously as boys become warriors under King Brenin’s rule, learning the art of war. He yearns to wield his sword and spear to protect his king’s realm. But that day will come all too soon. Only when he loses those he loves will he learn the true price of courage. The Banished Lands has a violent past where armies of men and giants clashed shields in battle, the earth running dark with their heartsblood. Although the giant-clans were broken in ages past, their ruined fortresses still scar the land. But now giants stir anew, the very stones weep blood and there are sightings of giant wyrms. Those who can still read the signs see a threat far greater than the ancient wars. Sorrow will darken the world, as angels and demons make it their battlefield. Then there will be a war to end all wars. High King Aquilus summons his fellow kings to council, seeking an alliance in this time of need. Some are skeptical, fighting their own border skirmishes against pirates and giants. But prophesy indicates darkness and light will demand two champions, the Black Sun and the Bright Star. They would be wise to seek out both, for if the Black Sun gains ascendancy, mankind’s hopes and dreams will fall to dust. Things I loved about these books: the plot and the character development. These are really plot and character driven books. And trust me when I say they have truly FANTASTIC plots and character development. Seriously if you compare the characters from the first book with the last book you'd think they're completely different people. And you got to travel along on that journey to see them become those different people. That's pretty amazing-- getting to see all the choices and key moments that lead to different things. Like a fearful cowardly boy growing into a courageous leader. With its huge cast of characters, this series really provides great and interesting perspective. And the plot? That's explosively good. Like I love all the planning with that and the intertwining mythology. To go along with the plot, the action is really well written and will keep you on the edge of your seat, really putting you right there on the battlefield with all your favorite (and least favorite) characters. Things I did not like about these books: the relationship development. While the plot and the characters are great, the way the relationships are written and built up to just isn't satisfying. Like, you can see that a lot of time has passed so it makes sense for those connections to have been made-- definitely not an instalove connection, but it almost feel likes instalove because you never get to see the small moments building up to those relationships becoming a relationship. I'm not just talking romantic, I'm also talking just about friendships and connections in general. Basically what you get to see with the relationships is the very beginning of each one, maybe a couple of words hinting at whatever in the middle and then the fully formed relationship at the end. What's really missing is that middle bit, the building part that helps the reader to really grow attached to said relationship. Because of that, there weren't many created relationships that I much cared for throughout the story. The relationship building definitely takes a backseat to the plot, which leaves me feeling a bit empty seeing as a truly satisfying action/fantasy story has a good balance of both. It's been so long since I read the series that I honestly couldn't tell you what my favorite book is, it's either Valor or Ruin (Book 2 or 3), but I can't remember which. They're both good-- actually they're all good, so it's really hard to remember which one stood above the other. My favorite characters would have to be Cywen and Storm, though I did like Veradis (I sorta see him as a sweet puppy in my eyes haha) and Corban. (SLIGHT SPOILER AHEAD, LOOK FOR NEXT PARENTHESIS FOR END OF SLIGHT SPOILER IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW MY LEAST FAVORITE CHARACTER) My least favorite character, without question would be NATHAIR. Seriously, I despised him throughout all the books. I was always waiting for him to have some sort of redemption in my eyes, but he never redeemed himself to me. The amount of texts I sent my cousin ranting about him is probably absurd. Seriously, I think I remember saying something about wanting to push him off a cliff just high enough to break all his bones but not kill him so that he would just have to lie there dying. Anyway... More on that in the spoilery section of the review just so that you know... I don't spoil everything for you. (SPOILER OVER) Anyway, those are my thoughts on this series! If you're interested in the slightest, don't be afraid to pick Malice up! And if you're bored during Malice JUST PUSH THROUGH IT. It'll end up worth it, I promise you that. SPOILERS FOR THE ENTIRE SERIES I'm sorta lazy so I'm just gonna copy and paste some of my texts to my cousin about this series haha. (About the disappointment in the lack of showing relationship development) "Like Fidele and Maquin... You don't really get to see the development... You see them meeting and you know they travel together and all the sudden they're in love and willing to sacrifice anything for each other. You know it's happening in the background but there's no good lead up." ​ "Or Veradis and Cywen. You know they travel together and have been talking but you don't actually get to see any of it." Interesting fact: Veradis and Cywen were actually the only relationship that I actually did fall in love with. the rest I didn't really actually feel much connection to. I spent MANY late nights saying I'd read till the next Cywen chapter, or saying I'd read until they reunited... Only that took a VERY long time haha. And then much to my irritation-- actually anger-- there was never actually any good romantic pay off, despite the fact that I waited two long books for them to reunite and then when they do NOTHING HAPPENS. They barely interact. UGhhhh. Here's a cleaned up text that I sent about that "And I'm also pretty pissed about Veradis and Cywen. I literally wait two and a half giant books for them to be reunited and when they do nothing happens. Then at the end of the book I'm like cool, maybe some interaction? Nope. They still don't get together. It's strongly implied they WILL because they think about each other so often, but nothing actually occurs. Just another example of how the plot revolves around all just action as opposed to having some focus on the characters' relationships with each other." And on my opinion on the finale: "Very epic, had fun reading it BUT as a finale I was a bit disappointed. Right after this huge epic battle it just feels rushed to finish it-- I'm not left with the closure I was expecting and feeling like I needed. Perhaps an epilogue would have done the book good as it would help wrap up some loose ends and leave me a little more satisfied." And if you're wondering about my Nathair hatred. Wow. That's an endless well to be diving in to. In fact, I'm not even going to post the majority of my texts about them seeing as they are pretty evil with LOTS of cursing haha. I just thought Nathair was so full of himself, on a power high for the majority of the first few books. I really was looking forward to seeing all of that come crashing down, and when it did I thought it might open the door for some great character development that might actually lead me to liking him. Unfortunately... when it came crashing down for Nathair it didn't matter because HE STILL CHOSE TO BE A DICK. UGh. Also I was hoping for MORE from his death scene since he's been such a big series character, but it ended pretty quickly for him. Good that it was Veradis that killed him though. Don't have much to say about the prophecy stuff other than to say I LOVE that it wasn't a real prophecy and that it all ended with just humans being evil as opposed to it being about gods. (Yes, Asroth was involved, but it was Nathairs choice to CONTINUE ON and all his choices actually that lead to that war. ) Anyway, those are my scattered thoughts. Thanks for reading :) Anj