#because the korean version relates more to my trauma

[phoenix-positivity]

A.C.E. - Cactus

Get over these walls in my heart I want to breath Even if you reached out for me I know it’s the end, there’s nothing at all No matter who looks at me, I’m unattractive Don’t leave me, don’t leave me even though I’ve been screaming Everyone leaves me at first, I couldn’t receive it Why is it, why is it, why is it, why No matter when I’m lonely every night, lonely, lonely night It’s okay, even if you’re lonely I’ll be right here For one flower to bloom I’ll hold everything in Blow the wind Blow more roughly It doesn’t matter who bothers me, I’ll be alright I won’t be scared Blow the wind Blow more roughly Till the end, through the trials, I’ll be alright I’m not that easily broken (‘Cause I’m a cactus) My body, my thorns are not my everything Look inside me, it’s the real me Don’t look at me coldly Warmly come towards me a little Please even if it’s one person, even if it’s you I’m yearning Don’t throw me away, don’t throw me away I saw you, but your cold expression Why is it, why is it, why is it, why No matter when I’m lonely every night, lonely, lonely night It’s okay, even if you’re lonely I’ll be right here For one flower to bloom I’ll hold everything in Blow the wind Blow more roughly It doesn’t matter who bothers me, I’ll be alright I won’t be scared Blow the wind Blow more roughly Till the end, through the trials, I’ll be alright I’m not that easily broken (‘Cause I’m a cactus)

[art]

Creator Spotlight: @jdebbiel

Deb JJ Lee is a non-binary Korean artist based in Brooklyn, NY. They have appeared in the New Yorker, New York Times, NPR, Google, Radiolab, and more. Their award-winning graphic memoir, IN LIMBO, about mental illness and difficult relationships with trauma, released in March 2023 from First Second.

Below is our interview with Deb!

Have you ever had an art block? If so, how did you overcome it?

That implies I am over my art block, but I’m still in it! I think about Kiki’s Delivery Service a lot and how she had to stop doing a thing, and that you can’t really force it, and you have to let it come back to you. It’s a pretty humbling moment, realizing there is more to life than just drawing. I’ve been trying to consume other content like reading or watching movies—anything that is not drawing-related—and to trust that it will come back to me. I think not being afraid to do the small pieces before committing to the big pieces is helpful. Because big pieces are what I am known for, I dig myself into a deeper hole, thinking that each piece has to be bigger than the last one. So yeah! Relaxing and doing the small things before overcommitting to a big piece is the best way to go about it for me.

Which 3 famous artists (dead or alive) would you invite to your dinner party?

I feel like these are all artists that I have second-degree connections with! Jillian Tamaki, Victo Ngai, and Tillie Walden would be my picks!

What are your file name conventions?

…What file name conventions? I mean, I don’t have specific file name conventions, but I actually have a public Google Drive archive! But I usually put “djjl_whatever-the-title-is_final,” and I would always know it’s the final and legit version.

What is a recent creative project that you are proud of?

I did an illustration for the whiskey brand Johnnie Walker. It’s so wild because I only had four days to finish it, and it usually takes me a week and a half if I rush. And honestly, it’s probably one of my best pieces from this year, which is funny. It was for the Mid-Autumn festival, so I made it as Korean as possible.

How has technology changed the way you approach your work?

I only use my iPad to draw everything now, and if I want to pretend that I have a steady workstation, I’ll use my Cintiq. I still am not as comfortable on the Cintiq as I am on Procreate, but it’s still pretty solid and nice. That’s the good part about technology. The bad part about technology is how AI art has been messing things up for me. I’m currently in a lawsuit about AI art as a class rep. Some of my stuff got turned into AI art late last year, so I have to give a deposition at some point. 

What is a convention experience that has stuck with you?

Honestly, they’re all good! I feel like Lightbox Expo has been really nice because it’s truly been a convention for artists. I feel like that’s where most of my audience is, and they’re all around because their purpose is to be better at art. That’s where a lot of original artists do well because they’re getting art they’re inspired by, not so much fanart. I like the Lightbox Expo because it encompasses the pure love of art very well. 

Top tips on setting up an Artist Alley booth?

Use a Y axis, not just your X axis! Take advantage of it! Branding is also something to think about. It is definitely something I’m getting better at. Having an assistant is also very important. I’ve also heard that 8.5x11 to 12x18 inches is usually a good size for prints, but I also provide postcard-sized prints because sometimes people don’t want to commit to a larger size. 

Who on Tumblr inspires you and why?

You know this is so funny. I’ve been following @alicexz for over a decade on Tumblr and other platforms. I’ve followed her work since high school, and we’ve only recently become peers. I found her, and we met for the first time in real life, and she recognized me. And then I found all my drawings from when I was in my Alice phase, back in high school, and I was like, “Yo, this is when I was trying to be you so badly!” and she was cracking up and was like “Wow, this is so good!” It was such a sweet moment. I wanted to take a picture of her holding my drawing up. It’s really nice because now we’re peers.

Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing, Deb! Be sure to check out their Tumblr blog over at @jdebbiel.

[thelastharbinger]

Tidbits of ATSV That I Enjoyed (Or Alternatively: Just Miles Being The Most Endearing Spidey Ever)

Miles patting The Spot's head after successfully webbing him (I don't see this as condescending, but rather him still engaging with the humanity of a villain like Spot) and ~very assertively~ telling/asking him not to escape.

"I'm like Robin Hood-if he gave to himself."

Miles' spidey senses going off when he arrives late to his dad's party because there's nothing more frightening than Brown parents when they're mad at you. Beware the chancla or correa!

O.k. So we all know there are different versions of the movie out there. You may already know that one of the slight differences is when Miles goes to save Inspector Singh. There's a version where you can hear Gwen's voice in the distant background yelling no! when she thinks Miles gets crushed under the rubble, and there's another where she's silent as she webs to him. Now, I have found ANOTHER version (online) where her shouting is even more at the forefront. She's practically screaming and sounds more desperate, (prolly because it's close to the same way her Peter Parker died so she's reliving trauma) and the fear in her voice is palpable. That one haunts me.

Jefferson trying to equate studying for his police exams to childbirth, which Rio quickly nips in the bud.

Ganke having a soccer poster of Son Heung Min, a famous Korean footballer who currently plays for the Premier League Tottenham Hotspur and is captain of the South Korean national team.

Miles having a Sashimi (his universe's version of Supreme, but I just like the idea that Miles loves eating sashimi. Like I know that kid has good taste in food) poster in his bedroom.

The fact that Miles kept in touch with Aunt May for long enough after the events of ITSV that he helps her move.

The Spot saying he was one of the more handsome scientists at Alchemax according to his colleagues.

Miles and Gwen having the same collectible toys, the only difference being that he keeps his in the box and she doesn't.

"Hey, don't try to wow me with big words, man," *in deep manly voice* "I do crosswords every day"- Miles after Spot points out Alchemax as "the crucible of our connection!"

Miles going, "This job is so dumb sometimes" after he tries to web Spot at the deli, but it goes through a hole and lands on his face.

"Nahhh, he seems more Dominican to me." Kinda want Miles to meet a native Dominican Spidey because that dynamic would highkey fuck hard *pun not intended*. They would repair relations between our two islands-PR&DR.

"Almost there Mami *smiley face* *cowboy* prayer hands*"

The college admissions coach at Visions Academy straight up saying, "That's your story! Now, just stick to the script..." Ma'am what???

"Calmate Mami, eso no es my fault."

"I've hit a lot of different villains with a lot of different food...I'm just trying to lighten the mood."

Miles in his angsty teen era and smart-mouthing everyone around him. Love that for him.

"He almost killed his mom as a baby, I mean, look at those shoulders." No but for real tho. Those shoulders are as wide as a truck. Kim Seokjin who??? (if you understood that reference, ily).

Miles writing a love letter to his dad in 2 cakes.

Gwen at the water tower chowing and saying how feelings make her hungry after her and Miles talked about how they can't be together cause it would end in tragedy. Like Gwen, come again?!

Also, Miles' and Gwen's talk at the Williamsburg Bank Building being lowkey the catalyst for the 2nd/3rd acts of the film. Without them both kind of silently admitting their feelings for each other, Miles probably wouldn't have chased after her the way he did. Pretty sure you know the rest.

"I bet she doesn't even speak Spanish," and Jeff going "Que barbaridad" in his very broken Spanish. Queue Rio's bombastic side eye.

Both Gwen and Miles referring to Spot as a Villain Of The Week, even though neither of them have spoken about Spot to each other.

"I was bitten by a-wouldnt you like to know? Know what I mean?" SIR. Chill. This movie is for children.

The Spot inverting himself, going from a white mass with black spots to a gaping black hole with smaller white spirals. It's giving Junji Ito.

The irony of Pavitr exclaiming, "Well that was another easy adventure for Spider-Man!" right before an incoming canon event. HIS. He was about to experience his first big loss, and his happy-go-lucky nature would've been challenged.

Miguel saying conyo! when all the Spideys start pointing at each other.

"!Cállate!" "Nosy!" Sidebar: we don't talk about Gwen's banter with bad guys enough. She's so funny!

A lot of the Peters saying hi to Gwen as she passes HQ because she is canonically the one lost love--the love interest they all would've ended up with had she not died, so they all have an affection for her.

Web-Slinger going "Giddy up!" Cause he's swinging up.

Miles offering his fresh new takes on how to deal with the Spot upon meeting Miguel, saying "He just wants to be taken seriously. Like we all do." MILES YOU BEAUTIFUL, COMPASSIONATE GOLDEN SUNFLOWER BOY I LOVE YOUUUUU.

Hobie referring to Peter B. as Humbling Reality Spider-Man, which considering how steeped in tragedy the Spidey lore is, is really saying something.

Miguel's nonono no puedo más no puedo más. His misery is very funny and delightful to me. Little bitch ass.

"You know you're the only Spider-Man who isn't funny." Yes! More Miguel slander in the next one, please! Little bitch ass.

"Snitch!"

Miles shouting out Peter's name for help whilst Miguel pins and lays into him the fact that he's an anomaly. This after he momentarily glitches back to his ITSV store-bought suit. Mimicking the way-in also the first movie-Miles shouting out Peter's name for his own rescue as Doc Ock attacks him at the research facility. Because even though he feels hurt by Peter at this point, that's still his dad mentor and he still instinctively looks to him for protection. Rip my heart out why don't you!

Gwen sneaking back into her and her dad's place just to get that printed polaroid of her and Miles, a pic she already has on her phone.

Earth-42 Miles wearing Nike while our Miles wears Jordans.

[dreamingsushi]

See You in My 19 Life - Overall Review

I finally just finished watching the live action of that Webtoon that I loved to pieces. Obviously, my opinion is going to be biased since I read the original story way before it came out as a drama. However, I will try my best to put it into perspective.

Plot

Even though I have some frustrations about the way the drama unraveled differently than the comic, it is a very interesting plot. Ban Ji-eum is a young woman who remembers her past life. After dying too early in her 18th life, she vows to find back her childhood friend/love interest in her next life. She transfers to the hotel he works in and as she reconnects, she’s still very much in love with him and tries to gain his affections, while working through his trauma of seeing her past self die. It’s a beautiful story aside of the romance, because it teaches how to be forgiving towards oneself, even when it’s hard. There’s a lot of growth going on, even for a character that already lived 18th lives to become more mature.

Honestly, I think that if I didn’t read the manhwa, I would have loved the story as it is. I really enjoyed the littles slices of life from Ji-eum’s past life, it was super sweet most of the time. However, I’m very disappointed in how they changed her first life, which is the beginning of everything. I feel like they went to a more fated love route, because us romantic usually never get enough of these, but knowing the real reason she was remembering her past lives in the original story makes this adaptation very… plain. But that’s my opinion. To me, the original version was just that good, that it didn’t need any changes.

Overall, it’s hard for me to rate the plot of this drama, because of my bias. I would say it would be an 8/10 if I didn’t read the Webtoon, but since I read it, it’s more of a 7/10 for. Not excellent, but not so bad either.

Acting

As a disclaimer, I have almost to no knowledge of Korean. So my notes and remarks here are based on feelings solely, as I rely on subtitles to understand what’s going on and I don’t trust them 100%.

Can we talk about Shin Hye Sun? She was wonderful. I really liked how she portrayed Ji-eum. The character was loveable even though it was supposed to be so old. She was really a natural at jumping between each sides of her personality, going back to a moment of her past lives. I liked her quirkyness. I only enjoyed a little less her acting as Su, in her first life, but I think it’s partly because it wasn’t aligned with the original story and it was pretty intense. I think she carried this whole drama by herself and I’m really looking forward to see her again on the screen.

However, I really never could agree with the casting for Seoha. Ahn Bo Hyun is… I don’t know. Too serious. Seoha is a serious character, definitely not the most joyful one since he does have a tormented past. However, I didn’t picture him as tormented as they portrayed him in the drama. And I don’t think the actor did a bad job here, his interpretation was a little bland to me at some point, but it got a little better towards the end. It was just really hard to relate to his characters emotions and I could really feel a wall that shouldn’t have been there.

I always focus on the main leads, however I really liked Ha Yoon Kyung as Chowon, she was little less cute than what I would have imagined, but it fitted really well with the drama and the rest of the casting, so I enjoyed her presence. As for Ahn Dong Goo, they didn’t give him really any opportunity to shine. There wasn’t enough room for development for his character and thus when he could have done a brilliant job, the context made it feel all the way too rushed. Which is a shame.

If it was only for Shin Hye Sun, it would be a 10/10, however I can’t rate this any higher than a 7/10 again, because there were some casting and directing errors that didn’t bring out the best of the actors.

Aesthetic

Visually it was a very pleasant drama to watch. I especially liked the past lives scenes. The ones from her first life were great, with the tinted clothes and everything. There was a lot of symbolism with the glimpses that we could see and that was so great. They kept everything simple and I feel it’s a little harder to comment on the visuals of a somewhat modern day drama, because I’m not really into nowadays clothings, where as when it is a costume drama, there’s so much details that wow me.

However, I really liked the OST of the drama. The songs were really good, especially the kind of sad one. I need to find out what’s the title for it, because that’s the kind of music that I would put on my playlist. Anyways, it was overall very well matched to the events in the drama, so good job.

This gets an 8/10 for me!

Should you watch it?

I would say… if you haven’t read the Webtoon, it’s a very nice drama. It’s cute at moment, but it’s also serious. The plot is quite original and is a nice change of pace if you want to go for something a little unusual. The story is easy to follow, the lead actress is phenomal, it would say you can’t go wrong. If however you did read the Webtoon, just be prepared for disappointment. Because it’s just really not as good once you know everything. I was thrilled to see some scenes from the Webtoon that I really liked, however… I was disappointed in many ways by the ending. It’s a fine ending, it’s jut… not the one I hoped for and what waiting for. So yeah, if you’re looking for a quick watch that is a minimum serious, this is good, but if you need to chose between the comic and the live action, go for the comic.

The whole drama is about a 7/10 for me, if that could help into making your decision. It’s a good watch overall, just not an all time favourite. See you soon!

List of full recaps

All / 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 / 11 / 12

[schrodingers-hoarding-problem]

Jae's Asian Drama Masterlist

a list of all the asian shows I've ever watched (competed, we don't talk about the ones I've been meaning to finish for the past two years), not including any animation

all of them have some form of romance because at my heart I am a slut for a good romance, colored ones are those that changed my brain chemistry

Korean:

Romance is a Bonus Book (my first ever Kdrama and the first one I saw on this list, will always hold a special place in my heart)

Hotel Del Luna (iu my beloved, it did make me very sad at some points, but the dynamic between the main characters so so so good, jealous jang manwol is the best thing)

Light On Me

The Tasty Florida

To My Star

You Make Me Dance

Mr. Heart

Color Rush

Doom at Your Service (I say this is my favorite Kdrama, but honestly it has some really heavy competition. I am not above saying im a little bit attracted to whenever doom fucks someone up ok)

Wish You: Your Melody From My Heart

Kiss Goblin

Where Your Eyes Linger

Run On (its just so sweet y'all, one of the most refreshing shows I've ever seen in my life, the characters feel so real and the relationships are amazing)

Semantic Error (this is where the heavy competition is, both the movie and series versions are insanely good, I just can't recommend it enough)

Tinted With You

A-Teen (currently rewatching it with my best friend, is the essential hs Kdrama, explores so many of the problems that teens face without minimizing them, really embraces that lonely/scary feeling of being in such a turbulent time in your life)

Roommates of Poongduck 304

Business Proposal (the romcom of all time, if you are someone who enjoys a good trope or a well done cliche this is the place for you, it will make you laugh so hard and feel so much)

Our Dating Sim (aljslkasjfkd so so cute, very much Semantic Error vibes and I love that, loved the dynamic and characters so much)

The Eighth Sense (yes give me the good mental health representation, women friends, and cute relationships)

Dream (movie, watched it just for IU tbh)

Thai:

Love in the Air

Kinnporsche (this gave me indescribable brainworms but I could never explain it)

The Eclipse (the series really benefited from how comfortable first&khaotung are with each other, honestly they are friendship goals, but the show itself really tackles some great issues in the schooling system and how they relate to oppression overall)

Until We Meet Again

Between Us (yeah Tumblr really won with this one, I saw one too many winteam posts and had no choice, I do love a relationship driven show and the way the show pulled in discussions about trauma and family struggles was wonderful, I have never seen more of a middle child than win)

Bad Buddy (what can I say, once again the actors have insane chemistry and their comfort with each other really shows on screen, also nanon really is just a powerhouse actor, its sort of a modern Romeo and Juliet but has the most open & honest communication in any media I've ever seen)

Cutie Pie

Cutie Pie 2 You

My School President (may have changed me as a person? I don't even know how to describe how important this show has become to me)

Bed Friend (loved the characters, idk if it gave me worms yet tho)

Only Friends (at my heart i am a sucker for anything First & Khao are in)

Japanese:

Takara-kun & Amagi-kun

My Love Mix-up! (Keita Hatsukoi)

My Beautiful Man (Utsukushii Kare)

My Beautiful Man 2

Taiwanese:

Be Loved in House: I Do

HIStory 3: Trapped

Because of You 2020

Chinese:

The Untamed (I don't even know how to explain the brainworms this show and the novel it's based on has given me, but we do love a fun period piece)

[pumpkinpaix]

mdzs fandom, diaspora, and cultural exchange

Hey everyone. This post contains a statement that’s been posted to my twitter, but was a collaborative effort between several diaspora fans over the last few weeks. Some of the specifics are part of a twitter-localized discourse, but the general sentiments and issues raised are applicable across the board, including here on tumblr.

If you’ve been following me for a while, you’ve probably seen a few of my posts about this fandom, cultural exchange, and diasporic identity. For example, here, here, and here. This statement more directly criticizes some of the general issues I and others have raised in the past, and also hopefully provides a little more insight into where those issues come from. I would be happy if people took the time to read and reblog this, as the thought that went into it is not trivial, and neither is the subject matter. Thank you.

Introduction

Hello. I'm a member of a Chinese diaspora discord server - I volunteered to try and compile a thread of some thoughts regarding our place and roles in the fandom expressed in some of our recent discussions. This was primarily drafted by me and reviewed/edited by others with the hopes that we can share a cohesive statement on our honest feelings instead of repeatedly sharing multiple, fragmented versions of similar threads in isolation.

This was compiled by one group of diaspora and cannot be taken to represent diaspora as a whole, but we hope that our input can be considered with compassion and understanding of such.

For context, we are referencing two connected instances: the conflict described in these two threads (here and here), and when @/jelenedra tweeted about giving Jewish practices to the Lans. Regarding the latter, we felt that it tread into the territory of cultural erasure, and that it came from a person who had already disrespected diaspora’s work and input.

Context

The Lans have their own religious and cultural practices, rooted both in the cultural history of China and the genre of xianxia. Superimposing a different religious practice onto the Lans amidst other researched, canonical or culturally accurate details felt as if something important of ours was being overwritten for another’s personal satisfaction. Because canon is so intrinsically tied to real cultural, historical, and religious practices, replacing those practices in a canon setting fic feels like erasure. While MDZS is a fantasy novel, the religious practices contained therein are not. This was uncomfortable for many of us, and we wanted to point it out and have it resolved amicably. We were hoping for a discussion or exchange as there are many parallels and points of relation between Chinese and Jewish cultures, but that did not turn out quite as expected.

What happened next felt like a long game of outrage telephone that resulted in a confusion of issues that deflected responsibility, distracted from the origin of the conflict, and swept our concern under the rug.

Specifically, we are concerned about how these two incidents are part of what we feel is a repeated, widespread pattern of the devaluing of Chinese fans’ work and concerns within this fandom. This recent round of discourse is just one of many instances where we have found ourselves in a position of feeling spoken over within a space that is nominally ours. Regardless of what the telephone game was actually about, the way it played out revealed something about how issues are prioritized.

Background

MDZS is one of the first and largest franchises of cmedia that has become popular and easily accessible outside of China. Moreover, it’s a piece of queer Chinese media that is easily accessible to those of us overseas. For many non-Chinese fans, this is the first piece of cmedia they have connected with, and it’s serving as their introduction to a culture previously opaque to them. What perhaps is less obvious is that for many Chinese diaspora fans, this is also the first piece of cmedia THEY have connected with, found community with, seen themselves in.

Many, many of us have a fraught relationship with our heritage, our language—we often suffer from a sense of alienation, both from our families and from our surrounding peers. For our families, our command of the language and culture is often considered superficial, clunky, childish. Often, connecting with our culture is framed as a mandatory academic duty, and such an approach often fosters resentment towards our own heritage. For our non-Chinese peers, our culture is seen as exotic and strange and other, something shiny and interesting to observe, while we, trapped in the middle, find ourselves uprooted and adrift.

MDZS holds an incredibly important place in many diaspora’s hearts. Speaking for myself, this is literally the first time in my life I have felt motivated and excited about my own native tongue. It's the first time I have felt genuine hope that I might one day be able to speak and read it without fear and self-doubt. It is also the first time that so many people have expressed interest in learning from me, in hearing my thoughts and opinions about my culture.

This past year and a half in fandom has been an incredible experience. I know that I am not alone in this. So many diaspora I have spoken to just in the last week have expressed similar sentiments about the place MDZS holds in their lives. It is a precious thing to us, both because we love the story itself, and because it represents a lifeline to a heritage that’s never felt fully ours to grasp.

It’s wonderful to feel like we are able to welcome our friends into our home and show them all these things that have been so formative to our identities, and to be received with such enthusiasm and interest. Introducing this to non-Chinese friends and fans has also been an opportunity to bridge gaps and be humanized in a way that has been especially important in a year where yellow peril fear mongering has been at an all-time high.  

History

However, MDZS’ rise in popularity among non-Chinese audiences has also come with certain difficulties. It is natural to want to take a story you love and make it your own: that’s what transformative fandom is all about. It is also natural that misunderstandings and unintentional missteps might happen when you aren’t familiar with the ins and outs of the culture and political history of the story in question. This is understandable and forgivable—perfection is impossible, even for ourselves.

We hope for consideration and respect when we give our knowledge freely and when we raise the issue of our own discomfort with certain statements or actions regarding our culture. Please remember that what is an isolated incident to you might be a pattern of growing microaggressions to us. In non-Asian spaces, Asian diaspora are often lumped together under one umbrella. In the west, a lot of Chinese diaspora attach themselves to Korean and Japanese media in order to feel some semblance of connection to a media which approximates our cultures because there are cultural similarities. This is the first time we've collectively found community around something that is actually ours, so the specificities matter.

There is a bitterness about being Asian diaspora and a misery in having to put up a united front about racial issues. Enmity towards one group becomes a danger to all of us, all while our own conflicted histories with one another continue to pass trauma down through the generations. Many of us don’t even watch anime in front of our grandparents because of that lingering cultural antipathy. When the distinctions between our cultures are muddled, it feels once again like that very fraught history is flattened and forgotten.

Without the lived experience of it, it’s hard to understand how pervasive the contradictory web of anti-Asian and, more specifically, anti-Chinese racial aggressions are and how insidious its effects are. The conflation of China the political entity (as perceived and presented by the US and Europe) with its people, culture, and diaspora results in an exhausting litany of criticism levied like a bludgeon, often by people who don’t understand the complicated nature of a situation against those of us who do.

There is often a frankly stunning lack of self-awareness re: cultural biases and blind spots when it comes to discussions of MDZS, particularly moral ones. There are countless righteous claims and hot takes on certain aspects of the story, its author, and the characters that are so clearly rooted in a Euroamerican political and moral framework that does not reflect Chinese cultural realities and experiences. Some of these takes have become so widespread they are essentially accepted as fanon.

This is a pattern of behavior within the fandom. It is not limited to any specific group, nor does it even exclude ourselves—we are, after all, not a monolith, and we should not be placed on pedestals to have our differing opinions weaponized against one another in fandom squabbles. We are not flawless in our own understandings and approaches, and we would appreciate it if others would remember this before using any of us as ultimate authorities to settle a personal score.

It is difficult not to be disheartened when enthusiastic interest crosses the line into entitled demand and when transformative work crosses into erasure, especially when the reactions to our raised concerns have so frequently been dismissive and hostile. The overwhelming cultural and emotional labor we bring to the table is often taken advantage of and then criticized in bad faith. We are bombarded with racist aggressions, micro and macro, and then met with ridicule and annoyance when we push back. Worse, we sometimes face accusations of hostility that force us to apologize, back down, and let the matter go.

When we bring up our issues, it usually seems to come with the expectation that there are other issues that should be addressed before we can address ours. It feels like it’s never really the time to talk about Asian issues.

On the internet and in fandom spaces, Western-coded media, politics and perspectives are assumed to be general knowledge and experience that everyone knows and has. It feels like a double standard that we are expected to know the ins and outs of western politics and to engage on these terms, but most non-Chinese have not even the slightest grasp of the sort of politics that are at play within our communities. We end up feeling used for our specialized knowledge and cultural background and then dismissed when our opinions and problems are inconvenient.

As the culture represented in MDZS is not a culture that most non-Chinese fans are familiar with, we’d like to remind you that you do not get to decide which parts of it are or are not important. While sharing this space with Chinese diaspora who have a close connection to the work and the painful history that goes along with being diaspora, we ask that you be mindful of listening to our concerns.

Cultural erasure is tied to a lot of intense historical and generational trauma for us that maybe isn't immediately evident: the horrors of the Pacific theatre, the far-reaching consequences of colonization, racial tensions both among ourselves and with non-Chinese etc. These are not minor or simple things, and when we talk about our issues within fandom, this is often what underlies them. This is one of the first and only places many of us have been able to find community to discuss our unique issues without feeling as if we’re speaking out of turn.

With the HK protests, COVID, the anti-Chinese platforms of the US election etc., anti-Chinese sentiment has been at the forefront of the global news cycle for some time now, and it is with complete sincerity that we emphasize once again how important MDZS fandom has been as a haven for humanizing and valuing Chinese people through cultural exchange.

Experiencing racial aggression within that space stings, not just because it’s a space we love, but because it feels like we’ve been swimming in rapidly rising racial aggression for over a year at this point.

Feelings

This is a difficult topic to broach at the best of times, and these are not the best of times. Many of us have a wariness of rocking the boat instilled in us from our upbringings, and it is not uncommon for us to feel like we should be grateful that people want to engage with something of ours at all. When we do decide to speak up, we’ve learned that there is a not insignificant chance that we’ll be turned on and trampled over because what we’ve said is inconvenient or uncomfortable. When it is already so difficult to speak up, we end up second-guessing and gaslighting ourselves into wondering whether there really was a problem at all.

We’d like to be able to share what we know about our culture and have our knowledge and experience be taken seriously and treated with courtesy. This is a beautiful, rich world built with the history of our ancestors, one that we too are trying to connect with. When we find it in ourselves to speak up about it, we would appreciate being met with consideration instead of hostility.

We don't have the luxury of stepping away from our culture when we get tired of it. We don't get to put it down and walk away when it’s difficult. But if you're not Chinese or Chinese diaspora, you get to put this book down—we'd like to kindly request that you put it down gently because of how much it matters to all of us in this fandom, regardless of heritage.

What we are asking for is reflection and thoughtfulness as we continue to engage with this work and with one another, especially with regards to how Chinese issues are positioned. When we raise issues of our own discomfort, please take a moment to reflect before reacting defensively or trying to shut us down for spoiling the fun—don’t deprioritize our concerns, especially in a fandom for a piece of Chinese media. We promise most of us are not trying to start shit for the sake of a fight. Most of the time, all we want is acknowledgement and a genuine attempt at understanding.

Our hope with this statement is to encourage more openness and understanding between diaspora and non-Chinese fans while we navigate this place that we’re sharing. Please remember that for many of us, MDZS is far more intense than a typical fandom experience. Remember that the knowledge we have and research we do is freely and happily given, and that it costs us both materially and emotionally. Please don’t take that for granted. Remember too that sometimes the reason for our discomfort may not be immediately evident to you: what seems culturally neutral and harmless might touch upon specific loaded issues for us. We ask for patience, and we ask for sincerity as we try to communicate with one another.

We are writing this because there’s a collective sense of imposed silence—that every time the newest round of discourse crops up, we often feel as if we’re walking away having created no meaningful change, and nursing new wounds that we’ll never get to address. But without speaking up about it, this is a cycle that will keep repeating.

This is not meant to shame or guilt the fandom into throwing themselves at our feet, either to thank us or beg for forgiveness—far from that. We’re just your friends and your fellow fans. We are happy to have you here, and we’re happy to create and share and play together. We just ask to be respected and heard.

Thank you. Thank you for listening. Several of us will be stepping back from twitter for a while. We’ll see you when we get back. ❤️

* A final addendum: here are two articles with solid practical advice on writing stories regarding a culture other than your own.

Cultural Appropriation for the Worried Writer: Some Practical Advice

Cultural Appropriation: Some More Practical Advice

The thread on twitter is linked in the source of this post. Thanks everyone.

[kisilinramblings]

I went to twitter to see other news and instead I saw people said Thomas blocked Korean miraculers who protest about the use of JP imperial flag in ephemeral episode which is offend them greatly. Is it true???

Okay, I’ve checked and this appear to be the case.

During LB's explaination about the BIPM, as she explains the satellite coordinate clocks around the world, the icon next to the igloo does look like a simplify version of the rising sun flag.

But before you light your torches and bring your fork, as a westerner, I personally didn't realize this icon would be considered offensive before you point it out, Anon. I know JP imperialism is bad and that some popular japanese cultural products still promote Japan military to this day (just like Hollywood often promotes the american army and depict them under a good light), but I didn't registered the rising sun flag was a direct symbol to that because of how overly common it is in Japan iconography for about anything and has many derivative of it. Because Japan is nicknamed “The Land of the Rising Sun”. And thats even in western countries (see the Japan Expo convention logo : a red and yellow rising sun above a water body).

I really doubt it was intentional from the ML team nor Zagtoon, an european company, to put Japan imperialism propaganda and trigger a war trauma. What it looks like is they wanted an simple icon to illustrate a different part of the world that would be recognizable. 

And if no one in the 2D division nor anyone supervising the product quality knew about that flag was offensive in some countries and -- no pun intended -- raised a flag about it, then that's how it ended in the broadcasted product. Yep, even if they had worked hand in hand with SAMG before. 

So, if Korean and other SE Asian fans point out this is a problematic imagery to use due to the war trauma it has caused, then it is a mistake that should be fixed. While the image is very controversial, it isn’t illegal either unfortunately. 

It would be a first step if at least they recognize the controversy behind the image they have used, recognize it was a mistake and at least apologize for it.

However, even if the icon can be easily change, I also know that just because a fix look simple doesn’t mean it will be quick. Ultimately, it is to the higher ups in the series (such as the producer) who decide if it is worth asking 3-4 ressources to patch, intergrate and supervise the correction of a 3 second bit of a 22 minute episode. I don’t work in animation, but even in my line of work, a small modif like that could take a week. Because of approbation, because of research and communication to know if the new icon use to replace the old one isn’t problematic elsewhere as well.

And once that new version deliver to broadcasters, they will use it... if they see fit. 

That’s why I wouldn’t be surprised if only asian broadcasters will be the ones to demand an edit of the shot or patched the bit themselves before they officially broadcast the episode on their TV channel for their audience.

Is Thomas the right person to go to about this matter though? I don't think so. Sure, Thomas is the creator and the main public face of the series on social media. So, it feels easy to just reach him. Him and Winny sure are more reachable than Jeremy Zag himself. And contacting someone directly and publicly on the social media is definitively way easier than sending an email to a company or a broadcaster or fill an official customer service complaint form. 

Perhaps Thomas can bring the matter to the person in charge, but remember he isn't a social media relationist. He interacts with fans on social media and answers questions related to the episodes and the series lore on his free time on his own accord. Just like Winny or any crew member. 

So if Thomas feels he is being spammed and that people are rude to him and accuse him, he is not afraid to block them. Sometimes in an arbitrary way. And I dunno if he automically read / answer to everyone either. Even if he doesn’t care if it make him look like a jerk because it is his right to not owe anything to the people interacting online with him.

I understand why a Korean or any South-East Asian fan would be offended to see an icon similar to a rising sun flag in their favorite show and want to raise awareness to this and how they felt, especially to other fans and the show creator or any other crew member or ambassadors. 

And I am genuinely sorry you are met with radio-silence and blocking right now. And I can understand your disappointment and anger.

If you want to be heard, don’t forget to also write emails, even letters. To Zagtoon, to the ML production office in France or to the official broadcaster in your country. It’s not instantaneous, it’s not flashy, but at least it’s another way to reach the right people to hopefully get the mistake acknowledge and fix. 

[chimericaloutlier]

Yesterday morning at breakfast (I had spent the night with my grandma, after a family reunion) I got into a screaming match with my parents about minimum wage - well, it started there, but it ended with me shouting that Trump is a traitor and a murderer who belongs in prison, so it all went really well. 🙃

As i told twitter,

It's really devastating to feel that the more your parents get to really know you, the less they love and respect you. To realize that they PREFERRED the version of you too scared to talk back, too ignorant and indoctrinated to know better, too passive to assert your own ideas.

They're fundies. They chose to raise me as a fundamentalist christian, and all the pain and terror and trauma of my upbringing was intentional. I really, really, shouldn't be this shocked and heartsick; I knew who they were. I've always known. That's why I've always been afraid.

It's just a gut punch, to have all the final illusions of your parents as good people who could love you unconditionally destroyed. My faith and trust in every other institution of human society has already been eradicated this last year. This was just the last bastion.

I don't know where to go from here. I'm done pretending to be the version of their daughter they can love. They can either choose to love me as I am, or to stop. I can no longer traduce myself and my sense of morals with silent teeth-clenched smiling anymore.

The worst part, though, is that on the car ride home my mom basically told me that i just would never understand the kind of love biological mothers have for their children if I never have my own. That my love for Ian isn’t the same. That she’s actually kind of surprised by how much I love Ian.

there isn’t an adoption tradition in korean culture like, at all. Along with a lot of other factors, the fact is that korean parents just … don’t want to adopt children that aren’t related to them by blood. (This has been changing with the many other cultural mores Korea has borrowed as they've modernized, but it's still an issue.) It’s part of WHY there are so many Korean-American transracial adoptees.  

I told her that if she didn’t want me to love all the people in my life, irrespective of how they are actually related to me by blood or legal ties, then she shouldn’t have had me hanging out with dad’s side of the family so much, with all their permutations of stepparents and step-cousins once removed. Because that’s how I love. 

Then she apologized (sort of?) for not spending as much time and money on Ian as she does on Graeme and Everett. I told her he has plenty of people in his life to love him and give him things, and that if I wanted more from her, I would simply ask for it. That I wanted her and dad to see Ian and spend time with him because he’s a wonderful kid to be around. But that I didn’t expect if of them.

I was kind of numb with shock at the time, which is really, really good in retrospect. I was running the “Make the Person Talking to Me Comfortable and Happy” routine, and it doesn’t even occur to me when processing conversations that way to get angry or confrontational. (I think part of my mistake at breakfast was how tired and out of it I was – I'm really not a morning person at ALL.)

It was only while mulling over it on the drive home that I started to get really angry about it.

What I wish I had told my mother is that I only want people around Ian who can love him freely, and that if she can’t do that, then she shouldn’t bother.

I’m just devastated, and so profoundly disappointed in my parents, that they would choose their racism over their black/biracial grandson, over me. 

But I got the message. I don’t think my parents understood what they were communicating to me: how visible was their contempt, disdain, and disinterest.

I don’t know. I need some distance. I want to be done, to be fucking finished with them. Any possible benefits derived from having a relationship with them can’t be worth either feeling this way, or the unendurable labor of continuing to mask and smile through gritted teeth.

I think trying to get closer to them was a mistake. The impulse I have followed over the last decade, of staying as distant and disaffected as I can by them, was the right one, and I shouldjn’t have tried to ignore it because I wanted their love. At the price it is not worth having.

Right now I just feel numb. I think the rational bits of my brain are trying to prevent me from doing anything irrational. I need counsel, but I need to find a therapist to replace the one I had.

[fullyellowsun]

Park Village | 9

Camping:

I do not own the picture, credit to the owner.

Constructive criticisms are welcome! This is in Korean so for those of you who can read Korean and English, go ahead! I will post a full English version link to the Wattpad story in the masterlist! (Juyeon/주연 could be you.)

Pairing: baekhyun x juyeon/you

Genre: kpop idol’s relative!AU

Word Count: 1392 words

Description: Juyeon is going camping and Baekhyun's gonna be there.

Masterlist

"Pack up, we're going camping!" Chanyeol says out of nowhere.

"But I don't have camping stuff."

"I do so just pack clothes and toiletries... and pack warm."

"Fine..." I get up and pack and put them in the car. We spend the next few hours driving into a forest.

"Oh, and by the way, EXO's gonna be there." He says as we can see the camping site.

"What?! Why didn't you tell me this before. I wanna go."

"Because you've been avoiding them for the past week!"

"No I haven't..."

"I can tell you're avoiding them. What happened?"

"Nothing... I'm not avoiding them."

"We're gonna share a tent with Baekhyun, that's okay right?"

"No!" I say without thinking.

"Why?"

"Well... er, um... so, someone in Korea stole my first kiss. I'm not saying anymore."

"Which one... I'll kill them. Did you even like them?"

"It was only for the game. But still..."

"So neither of you liked each other? Then why are you avoiding them? 설마... do you like them?

"No... no way."

"Who is it? I won't do anything... just tell me."

"It's too late."

"For what? No... 백현이 did?" I just nod. "죽어 버릴거야, 그 쌕이가."

"야, 조용히해! 그 봐, they're staring at us! We've been in the car for too long. Let's go." I get out of the car and grab the tent bag. "이거 해볼까?"

"Okay..." Chanyeol helps me set up the tent. It was quite small and I didn't know if it would fit all 3 of us.

"Are you sure this will fit all of us?"

"We can just cuddle... it's cold anyways." I stare at him.

"You're sleeping in between us."

"You'll still sleep here?"

"I mean I kinda have to. Except I don't really wanna cuddle either of you. You're like a rock. I do NOT want to sleep with a rock."

"I can't tell if that's a compliment or not."

"Think however you want." I place the bedding inside and decorate it with fairy lights to make it more homey. I stuff the luggage to the sides of the tent and just relax. I can hear Chanyeol starting to cook food as the others trickle in. I could hear the conversation.

"Did you get Juyeon to come?"

"Yeah..."

"Why did she not want to hang out with us for the last week?"

"I may or may not have... kissed her."

"You what?!"

"Why? How? When?"

"It was for the pickup line contest... and I thought it would be funny but she took it a little more seriously."

"Why would you scare her away like that?"

"주연아! 자? 이러나! Go get some firewood with 세훈이!"

"어? 알았어!" I get out of the tent and start making my way into the forest. Sehun follows. It was quiet as we picked up sticks from the dirt.

"Did 백현형 actually kiss you?" Sehun says out of the blue.

"Uh... yeah." I say trying not to think about it.

"Did you like it?"

"Huh?"

"Was it a good kiss?" He asks again.

"Uhh... I don't remember. I was not in the mindset of whether it was a good kiss or not." I say slightly annoyed.

"Do you like 형?"

"Yeah, why would I hate him?"

"No, LIKE like."

"Uhh... I don't know."

"I think I do... you like him 주연아, that's why you took the kiss seriously and avoided for the last week."

"아... 아니야! I just needed to some time to think."

"주연아... I've only known you for a few weeks but I know that if you didn't like him, you would've laughed it off."

"You don't know me... 세훈 오빠. That was my first kiss. You don't understand. What would you do if your first kiss was from someone who's famous and you only a few weeks and don't even know if you like."

"그... 그거 너 첫키스였어?"

"어..."

"대박... okay I kind of understand but still, you could've acted like it was nothing."

"I'm not an actor! I can't act THAT well..."

"주연아..."

"Let me finish! I come to Korea to spend time with my family and end up related to an EXO member and then one of them kissed me and took my first kiss and-"

"주연아!"

"I said let me finish!"

"주연아!" Sehun grabs my shoulders and shakes me. "WHERE ARE WE?!" I stop to look around. I couldn't see the light of the campsite anymore.

"Oh no... where are we? Sehun 오빠 why didn't you stop me?!"

"I tried to... 주연아... what do we do? I'm scared."

"Why are YOU scared? You're supposed to be the man!" Sehun huddles behind me and holds onto my shoulders. I try to back track where we had picked up sticks and looked for areas with small or not as many sticks. "Why are you hiding behind me  오빠?!  There's nothing there."

"I swear I heard something." He crouches more behind me, if he did any more, he would be dragging on the floor.

"You are such a scaredy cat." I roll my eyes and continue to scan the area to look for some sort of sign that we were there. He stands up straight and clears his throat.

"No I'm not, I heard something." He crouches again. "You heard that?" I laugh.

"That was you moving." I continue moving and start hearing talking.

"You hear that? I found our campsite!" He runs over. I roll my eyes. The members start crowding Sehun asking what happened. He twisted the story to make him seem like the hero but I just let him take the spotlight. I put the sticks in the small fire and sit around it. Chanyeol sits next to me.

"I'm guessing you were the one to find the campsite." He asks. I just nod. "He was probably crouching behind you and jumping at every sound." I nod again and laugh.

"Just keep it a secret... I think after the trauma, he'll need the attention."

"Sometimes I think you're older than all the members."

"누나? (What boys call older sister or close older girl) It has a ring to it. Should I ask them to call me that?"

"They probably won't do it..."

"I know, but it's worth a try. 얘들아, let's tell some scary stories." I give a knowing smile to Sehun. They all nod in agreement and come sit around the campfire. We eat and tell stories and purposefully try to scare Sehun. One story in particular was extremely scary and because Kai was next to me, I would hide behind him.

"Sorry, it's a little scary." I say behind him. "Its not a problem, you can use me to hide from the stories anytime." He smiles. I smile back and sit back up in my seat. I grab his arm sometimes and probably squeezed it really hard but he always put his hand on top of mine to comfort me. "주연아, 깜짝 얘기를 할까?" 백현 said quietly to me. "Uhh... 알았어, what is it?" I say. "I- uh I justed wanted to say sorry... what I did was really out of line and I didn't know it was your first kiss and-" "It's fine. I don't really want to talk about it. Let's just out this behind us and forget like it never happened. When we're back to normal, we might even laugh about and say it was a great memory." "Thanks 주연아, 우리 다시 친구이지?" "응, 그럼... 친구." He smiles and we link arms and skip back to the campsite. "Wait, you and 종인 had like multiple moments during the story time." He grins sneakily. "That was cuz I was scared." "You were scared?! You? I mean makes sense." I hit him hard enough so that it will hurt. "Ouch... just stating the facts." He mumbles. I glare at him. "와, 이 분위기가 진짜 밖였어. What happened between you two?" Chanyeol notices as we get back. "We fought... okay well not fought, but an obstacle was placed, we jumped. And here we are." I say. I hear 경수 whisper to 찬열, "what is this metaphor?" "No idea." He shrugs.

Masterlist

[satinwulf]

✦ ▓ AND WHO GOES THERE? oh, it’s just [ SANSA STARK ]. some say [ HER ] resemblance to [ AHN HEEYEON ] is almost uncanny, but the [ TWENTY-SIX ] year old has been in the capital for [ TWENTY-SIX YEARS ]. many suspect that they are the notorious [ ASSOCIATE ] of the [ STARK ] family: perhaps that has made them [ RESERVED ] && [ CIRCUMSPECT ] of late, when they used to be so [  WHIMSICAL ] && [ SANGUINE ]. during the daylight hours, [ SANSA ] can be found working as a [ FASHION DESIGNER & BOUTIQUE OWNER ], but when night falls over king’s landing, they are best remembered listening to [ THE ARCHER BY TAYLOR SWIFT ]. may the gods be with them in these dark streets. ( mowgli. twenty-four. cst. she/hers. )

STATISTICS.

full name:  sansa  elethea  stark.

moniker / nickname: princess,   sans.

gender && pronouns: cisfemale,      she / hers.

dob && age: december 23,   1994.     26.

zodiac sign: capricorn.

ethnicity: korean.

sexual orientation: bisexual.

romantic orientation: biromantic.

mafia affiliation: associate  to  the  stark  family  via  familial  ties   -   sansa  does  NOT  partake  in  anything  further  than  simply  being  known  as  a  stark.

occupational history: former  socialite  turned  fashion  designer.      current  owner  of  the  satin  wolf,      an  upscale  boutique  featuring  her  designs.

financial status: sansa  comes  from  wealth,      but  has  also  amassed  her  own  funds  through  her  business   -   albeit,      it  is  easy  to  do  so  when  you  don’t  have  to  pay  rent.

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE.

face claim: ahn  heeyeon,   ‘hani’.

height: five feet,   eight  inches.

physical build: tall  and  slim;   sansa  is  not  very  toned  nor  muscled,       her  body  is  very  much  so  smooth  lines  and  long  limbs.

eye colour and shape:  brown,      almond.

hair colour and style: currently  strawberry  blonde,   formerly  many  different  colors,    as  sansa  expressed  herself  through  having  it  dyed  previously.       it  is  often  worn  straight  and  down  when  she  isn’t  working,      and  pulled  into  a  messy  bun  when  she  is!

usual expression: stoic.

accent and speech style: sansa  has  a  very  soft  voice,       very  saccharine  and  sweet  by  its  very  nature.        she  has  no  blatant  accent,     and  speaks  often  in  run  on  sentences.

distinguishing marks / characteristics: any scars, tattoos, piercings.

clothing style: very  street  chic  but  also  dependent  on  the  occasion   -   she  dresses  for  the  life  she  wants  to  have  and  live.

jewellery and accessories: earrings,   necklaces,   hats,   scarves   -   any  and  everything  is  on  the  table  when  it  comes  to  accessorizing  the  perfect  outfit.        sansa  never  considers  herself  fully  dressed  without  her  apple  watch,      earrings,      and  a  silver  wolf’s  head  locket  necklace.  

FAMILY:

father: eddard stark.

mother: catelyn stark,      nee  tully.

siblings, if any: robb,      arya,      bran,      rickon.

extended relations: hoster  &  minisa  tully,     edmure  tully,      brandon  stark,      lyanna  stark,      benjen  stark.

significant other(s): none,   currently.    formerly  a  fiance.

children: none.

household pet(s): a  female  merle  great  dane  named  boleyn,   “bo”  for  short.

FAVOURITES.

colour: blue.

weather: a sunny,   but  cool  fall  day.

food item:  red  velvet  cupcakes.

beverage: peach lemonade.

time of day: mid - evening.

television genre: drama.

PERSONALITY.

hobbies: painting,     baking,      reading   -   and  occasionally  writing.

pet peeves: sansa  loathes  loud  chewers,      people  who  refuse  to  put  effort  into  their  outward  appearance,      and  people  who  think  ketchup  and  ranch  go  on  everything   -   or  anything  at  all.

phobias: spiders,      rats,      snakes.

allergies: penicillin.

mbti type: enfj,    the  protagonist.

enneagram type: 4w3,      the  enthusiast.

positive traits: whimsical,      sanguine,      clever.

negative traits: reserved,      circumspect,      fretful.

morning routine: up  by  seven,      morning  walk  with  her  dog,      shower,      breakfast,    begin  work  by  nine,      sharp.

beauty routine: multi - stepped,   always  beginning  with  primers  and  concealers.        sansa  is  a  bit  of  a  makeup  enthusiast;      even  if  she’s  just  at  home  working,      she  prefers  to  have  some  level  of  it  on,      as  she  feels  it’s  yet  another  creative  and  artistic  outlet   . . .    even  if  it  is  just  for  herself.

sleeping habits: sansa  has  always  been  a  heavy,      deep  sleeper,      even  as  a  child.        she  can  fall  asleep  in  the  blink  of  an  eye,      and  be  out  for  hours  without  even  a  hint  of  discomfort.        she  used  to  be  the  person  who  was  up  all  night,      and  tended  to  sleep  all  day   -   now  she’s  asleep  by  8:30pm  most  nights  and  up  by  7:00am.

living space && home: a  high  rise  loft  apartment,      kept  impeccably  clean  and  decorated  in  a  modern  contemporary  style,      with  many  hues  of  gray  and  light  pastels.

all  the  king’s  horses  and  all  the  king’s  men  couldn’t  put  me  together  again,      ‘cause  all  of  my  enemies  started  out  friends.

sansa  attended  king’s  way  college  and  graduated  with  a  bachelor’s  degree  of  fine  arts,    having  majored  in  fashion  design.        her  graduation  present  was  the  satin  wolf,      a  boutique  of  her  own  to  showcase  her  designs.        it  is  located  in  neutral  territory,      and  operated  by  staff  hand  selected  by  sansa  herself.  

the  death  of  hoster  tully  was  a  sad  affair  for  her,      and  yet,      sansa’s  grief  was  also  met  with  a  sense  of  relief.        that  with  her  grandfather  no  longer  pulling  strings,      the  pressure  of  being  brought  into  a  life  she  did  not  want  might  wain.

it  is  her  intent  to  never  become  involved  further  than  she  is  currently  with  any  of  the  syndicates,    even  her  own  family’s.

dancing  under  lights  since  she  was  seventeen.     her  brain’s  flooded  with  ketamine,     high  from  every  party,      low  from  self - esteem;     it’s  selfish  but  she  never  sleep.       honestly,      she  needs  a  little  sympathy.

the  socialite  daughter,      beautiful  and  charming,      always  interested  in  the  next  party   -   the  next  event.        sansa  had  a  penchant  for  attention,      late  nights  spent  out  drinking  and  dancing  even  when  she  less  than  legal;      it  made  her  feel  happy,      feel  free.        it  was  a  way  to  forget  that  things  could  be  dark  and  grim   -   to  forget  that  her  parents,      her  siblings,     nearly  everyone  she  knew  was  involved  in  a  lifestyle  that  made  her  stomach  curl.       so  she  danced  and  partied,      smiled  wide  for  pictures,     found  a  boyfriend  that  enjoyed  the  same  things  she  did   -   one  who  wasn’t  interested  in  what  her  family’s  name  could  do  for  him   . . .   or  so  she  thought.        when  he  asked  her  to  marry  him,      she  cried  tears  of  joy,      and  things  were  perfect.        just  like  they  always  were  for  sansa.

until  one  night  a  few  months  ago,      when  she  and  her  fiance  were  leaving  a  club   -   drunk  and  stumbling,      clinging  to  his  arm  with  practiced  ease    . . .   when  two  rough  hands  that  weren’t  his  pulled  her  away.        into  a  darkened  alley,      where  accomplices  met  and  held  her  at  knife-point.        they  wanted  to  know  about  her  father.        her  uncles.        her  mother,     aunts,      grandfather.        stark  plans,      stark  anything   -   gravely  voices  that  wondered  how  many  pretty  pennies  they  could  get  if  they  just  took  her  off  the  streets  now.       held  her  until  they  paid,      and  maybe  they’d  just  kill  her  anyways.       the  rough  brick  of  the  building  at  her  back  digs  into  unmarred  skin,      leaving  it  scratched  and  red   -   prick  of  a  blade  just  centimetres  away  from  the  flesh  of  her  neck,      threatening  to  cut  it  open  and  leave  her  bloody.

she  can’t  figure  out  where  he  is,      the  man  who’s  supposed  to  love  her   -   seemingly  vanished  into  thin  air  the  minute  things  had  turned  sour.        sansa  is  convinced  of  the  worst,      mascara  tears  trailing  down  her  cheeks,      because  this  must  be  it.        the  end  of  it  all.

reprieve  is  the  sight  of  one  man,     then  two,      crumpling  to  the  ground.        a  familiar  face  appearing  in  the  dimly  lit  alley  as  the  knife  at  her  throat  clatters  to  the  ground  and  her  freedom  is  given.        alive  but  shaken,      sansa  hasn’t  been  the  same  since.

i  used  to  be  a  darling  starlet  like  a  centerpiece.       had  the  whole  world  wrapped  around  my  ring.      i  flew  too  closely  to  the  sun  that’s  setting  in  the  east,       and  now  i’m  melting  from  my  wings.

returning  to  a  normal  life  post  incident   -   post  trauma   -   has  been  easier  said  than  done.        now  reclusive  in  nature,      stowing  herself  away  for  days  in  her  high  rise  loft  apartment,      sightings  of  the  eldest  stark  daughter  are  said  to  be  few  and  far  between.        she  no  longer  frequents  her  own  boutique,      working  instead  from  home  and  through  various  intermediates  to  ensure  everything  is  well  controlled;      sansa  only  appears  when  it’s  absolutely  necessary,      when  business  requires  a  gentle,     steady  hand  and  cannot  be  managed  from  afar.        

custom  designs  are  still  available,     but  often  very   hard  to  come  by.        sansa  is  incredibly  selective  with  who  she’ll  meet  in  person  with,      and  thus,      only  those  who  can  guarantee  her  trust  have  been  able  to  get  them.

sansa  does,      however,      outfit  most  of  the  stark  syndicate  in  gear  that  is  both  fashionable  and  functional.        including  safety  measures   &   fabric  a  little  more  durable  than  most.        this  is  generally  the  extent  of  what  she’s  willing  to  do  for  the  syndicate,      the  idea  of  being  involved  in  violence  is  absolutely  terrifying  to  her,      especially  after  everything  she  went  through  without  even  being  more  than  a  child  of  known  members.

she  still  is  unaware  of  her  ex-fiance’s  involvement  in  the  attempted  abduction   -   if  he  was  working  along  with  the  men,      or  if  he  was  just  cowardly  enough,     uncaring  enough  to  have  let  her  be  pulled  from  his  arms.        she  hasn’t  spoken  to  him  much,      outside  of  ending  their  relationship  as  a  whole,      the  truth  isn’t  worth  the  extra  pain  it  may  cause,      or  so  she’s  convinced  herself  for  now.

wanted  connections  !!     i  may  send  some  of  these  into  the  main  after  a  bit  if  they  aren’t  filled  just  because  i’m  #needy.

judas    . . .      this  would  be  sansa’s  ex - fiance!      i  did  write  it  off  a  tweaked  and  modernized  version  of  her  relationship  with  joffrey  but  it  definitely  doesn’t  have  to  be  him.         their  relationship  was  seemingly  picture  perfect   -   and  likely  too  good  to  be  true.         they  were  frequent  party  and  club  attendees  together,      and  truly,      was  based  off  of  the  fact  that  being  together  was  akin  to  the  high  that  came  with  endless  drinks  and  fun.        ideally,      he  would  have  just  been  using  sansa  to  hopefully  siphon  information  or  even  to  gain  an  in  to  the  stark  family   -   the  possibilities  are  endless  and  i’m  ??   here  for  them?       sansa  romanticized  the  fuck  out  of  him  and  their  relationship,      ignoring  any  and  all  warning  signs  until  things  went  bad  the  night  of  the  after  club  incident.        essentially  she’s  ghosted  him,      aside  from  mailing  back  his  ring  and  a  letter  telling  him  it  was,      in  very  few  words,      over.      the  finer  details  are  very  much  so  up  for  discussion  and  interpretation  so  y’know,      run  wild.

white  horse   . . .      whomever  saved  sansa  from  the  alley   -   no  gender  requirements  because  we  love  equal  opportunity  ass  kickers  in  this  house.       they  had  at  the  very  least  an  acquaintanceship  with  sansa  in  the  past  and  after  their  act  of  heroism,     sansa’s  sort  of  attached  herself  to  them  in  a  very  idealized  way?      not  necessarily  romantically  but  very  clingy,     she  doesn’t  want  to  be  a  burden  but  also  it’s  very  hard  for  her  to  not  instinctively  shift  into  thinking  of  them  as  her  protector  and  she  just  needs  and  wants  to  feel  safe   . . .   all  of  the  time.        taken  by  dacey  mormont.

pink  pony  club   . . .     sansa’s  #squad.      their  relationship(s)  may  be  slightly  strained  from  sansa  shifting  into  recluse  mode,    but  ultimately  they  would  be  the  people  she  spent  the  most  time  with  previously.      dancing,    studying,    coffee  dates,    all  of  the  close  friend  things.      bonus  points  for  friendships  from  childhood  to  now,    because  we  all  need  the  montage  of  childhood  sleepovers  to  sansa  showing  up  at  their  house  at  6:00  in  the  morning  because  she  can’t  sleep  and  she  brought  coffee,    also  do  they  have  time  to  talk  about  how  she  can’t  stop  shaking  and  she  just  needs  a  hug.

also  if  you’ve  made  it  this  far,      ‘sup  i’m  mowgli  and  i  told  myself  i  wasn’t  allowed  to  join  the  discord  until  i  finished  my  intro  because  i  have  the  attention  span  of  a  goldfish  and  it  still  took  me  all  day   ??     anyways,     i’m  gonna  be  sneaking  myself  on  in  there  soon  but  y’all  can  feel  free  to  also  just  add  me  @  mohglee#0602  ty ty <3

[kpoptimeout]

My Top 10 K-Dramas of 2019 - What’s Yours?

2019 is ending soon and K-Dramaland has once again brought us so many goodies this year. As per our blog’s tradition [For 2018 faves click here], below are my Top 10 favs of the year (my faves in alphabetical order so it might not be yours so please don’t judge). (For our blog’s 2019 music ratings, click here!)

My only specific criteria usually is that the show must have had started in 2019 to be considered a 2019 series but this year I have made an exception for dramas that started very late in 2018 and it required watching well into 2019 for to be sure it was a great drama.

Without further ado, check the list below!

Doctor Prisoner (KBS2)

If you are looking for a thriller with insanely good acting, I would highly recommend Doctor Prisoner. Set in a prison clinic with Namkoong Min’s disgraced doctor as the lead plotting to right the wrongs society has done to him, the drama blurs the lines between good and bad. The medical director of the prison played by Kim Byungcheol seems like the perfect evil archetype for the audience to hate on but over time the plot and the acting allow us to soften up to his character and worry about his well-being. The drama also thrived in the current political climate in South Korea with its nuanced look into corruption and class issues. It was also a delight to see Namkoong Min’s rise in the past years from a rom-com lead to a seasoned leading man able to take on many diverse roles. If you love a drama that discusses the conflict between humanity and greed with stellar acting, you would love Doctor Prisoner!

Extraordinary You (MBC)

I actually struggled with whether to put Extraordinary You in the Top 10 due to the poor writing in the last few episodes of the show but caved in due to the spectacular quality of the earlier episodes and the consistently amazing acting of the main cast. Based on the popular webtoon “July Found By Chance”, the drama is about a girl called Eun Danoh who discovers she is in a shojo manga and not even the female lead - just an extra there to drive the love line between the male and female lead and stuck with a one-sided love to the biggest f*ckboi in school. Danoh decides to fight against fate (the writer’s plot) and try to change the storyline with her friends who start to also gain consciousness as well as the male lead Haru, a nameless background character who seems to have a mysterious connection to Danoh and an ability to switch characters in and out of scenes. The first half of the drama is pure K-Drama gold and consistently makes self-aware jabs at K-Drama tropes. Also, the quality acting of Kim Hyeyoon really breathed life into the character of Danoh, whose many monologues during her self-aware moments would fall flat without good delivery. While playing Haru was SF9’s Rowoon’s first major lead role, he carried the part well and was able to show the changes in Haru as he went from brainless NPC to an increasingly aware player in the plot to take down the comic book writer. Lee Jaewook, April’s Naeun, Jung Gunjoo, Kim Youngdae and Lee Taeri also all excelled in their respective roles. If you would like a drama where you can discover lots of young talent, Extraordinary You is the drama for you!

He is Psychometric (tvN)

While using the common K-Drama trope of male lead has a peculiar and uncommon superpower, and teams up with a female lead with secrets and some investigators to solve crimes, He is a Pyschometric excels in how it used these tropes well. I mean it is a tvN production and they own the supernatural mystery/romance genre these days. The male lead has the power to know about people’s past by touching their skin so of course we know plenty of skinship shenanigans and questions about human nature and trauma would be explored in this drama. After providing backstory and building up the personality of the main characters in the first few episodes, the series was consistently intense and the chemistry of the characters is great. GOT7’s Jinyoung has proven that he is ready for lead roles in more dramas, while Shin Yeeun showed that she is ready to take on the television screen after her quick rise to fame as a web drama actress in the record-breaking web series “A-TEEN”. SISTAR’s Dasom has also continued to grow as an actress, as seen in her role as police investigator in this series. If you are a fan of supernatural and mystery based K-Dramas, He is Psychometric is definitely one of the best dramas this year for you!

Hotel del Luna (tvN)

Another fantasy series coming from tvN, Hotel del Luna was definitely one of the most talked-about dramas of the year and rightly so. Set in a hotel that caters to ghosts, e.g. the dead with grievances and unable to “move on” to the world of the dead, you know you are in for episodic adventures involving the lives of many guests. We are also provided with the interesting relationship between IU’s Jang Manwol (her name literally means full moon) who is the ghost hotel owner for over 1000 years as a punishment for her sins and Yeo Jingoo’s Koo Chansung (his name literally means bright star) that the deities believe is the key to Manwol’s emancipation from ghost hotel running duties. In a way, it is like a gender-swapped version of the Goblin relationship going on but due to additional plotlines and character relationships, it is honestly a lot more and I will leave it to you guys to find out when you watch the show yourself. If you enjoy a fantasy drama involving ancient supernatural beings, Korean folklore and diverse stories, you would enjoy Hotel del Luna!

Kingdom (Netflix)

Netflix Korea continues to churn out amazing dramas and Kingdom is definitely one of the best this year. Adapted from the Korean webtoon series “The Kingdom of Gods”, the drama is set in Joseon Korean (in the 16th century) where a crown prince already dealing with court intrigues and trying to make it out alive is thrown another deadly problem - zombies. Given the stellar performance of Netflix’s earlier Korean period drama Mr. Sunshine and the amazing global box-office results of Korean zombie movie Train to Busan, this concept itself already sounds like a perfect cocktail for success. And the drama was received very positively, with a second season renewed for 2020. Besides the ridiculously addictive plot, the acting is also superb. The crown prince is played by none other than Ju Jihoon, who has long been popular in South Korea and among K-Drama fans for his dark and brooding demeanour perfect for an apocalyptic series. Bae Doona, who has found great success in Korea and in Hollywood for her roles in K-Dramas and movies such as Cloud Atlas and Netflix series Sense8, expertly takes the female lead role of the physician uncovering the zombie epidemic. If you love period dramas, zombie movies or both, this is the drama for you!

Sky Castle (JTBC)

Widely lauded as the best K-Drama of the year, Sky Castle is arguably one of the best K-Dramas of this decade because of the amazing acting, the unpredictable plot and its inclusion of many societal issues in South Korea. The show set the record for the most-viewed cable drama in South Korean history. Set in the opulent neighbourhood called Sky Castle, the story revolves around the “real” housewives of the neighbourhood who are all trying to get their kids into the top three universities in South Korea (SNU, Korea U and Yonsei - often also abbreviated as SKY universities). This concept of looking at the competitive education environment of East Asian countries is not new but the series set itself apart but including a mystery element, where deaths, secrets and intrigue involving members of the neighbourhood also shed light to class issues spanning across generations, gender issues, work culture, as well as familial relations in the conservative Korean society. The show also employed an extremely talented but underrated cast of actors who either spent many years honing their craft as side characters of many shows or are star film school students. The show also gave many opportunities to the cast afterwards, as seen in Kim Byungcheol’s lead role opportunity in Prison Doctor and Kim Hyeyoon’s lead role in Extraordinary You that are both discussed above. If you love a socially aware drama full of intrigue and mystery with great acting and cinematography, you would love Sky Castle!

The Fiery Priest (SBS)

The highest-rated miniseries of 2019, The Fiery Priest is really a unique show unlike any other. The story follows an investigation into the death of an elderly priest, with the Scooby-Doo crew made up of a young priest, a detective, and a prosecutor. While the crime-solving trio dynamic in the synopsis would definitely give “The Guest” flashbacks, this drama is completely opposite to OCN’s 2018 gritty horror extravaganza and is instead heartfelt and utterly hilarious. The priest clearly has anger management issues, the detective sucks at his job and the prosecutor has questionable moral standards. And Kim Namgil, Kim Sungkyun and Honey Lee all played these roles ridiculously well. Like other great dramas this year, The Fiery Priest looks at social issues in South Korea but instead of extremely serious commentary, touches of them in a humorous and sarcastic manner. This allowed the show to get away with more than you would expect on Korean non-cable TV. One thing the show did do which was similar to the much more serious “The Guest” was not having a romance plotline shoved down our throats like many K-Dramas. If you love a good comedy-mystery drama, you should check out The Fiery Priest!

The Tale of Nokdu (KBS2)

Another drama based on a webtoon, The Tale of Nokdu received average national ratings but was massively successful among the Gen Z of Korea and overseas fans. The reason may be the premise of the series. We have seen a good amount of girl masquerades as guy romcoms in the late 2000s and early 2010s such as the legendary dramas “Coffee Prince”, “You Are Beautiful”, “Sungkyunkwan Scandal” and “To The Beautiful You” but HAVE WE SEEN A REVERSED VERSION? Well look no further as The Tale of Nokdu is exactly that. Set in the Joseon Dynasty, the male lead has to hunt down a female assassin who has taken refuge in a women-only widow’s village and he must pretend to be a woman to live in the village to catch the assassin. Jang Dongyoon and Kim Sohyun delivered quality acting but probably what really made the show so popular with the Gen Z audience is seeing the male lead coming to realise the struggles of women in ancient times, with some struggles still existing today, as he lived in the widow’s village and the fierce and strong personality of the female lead who keeps saving the male lead’s ass. While there are some expected period drama tropes with royal court politics and will-they-won’t-they in face of the greater good, The Tale of Nokdu is one of the standout dramas this year for its fresh take on the cross-dressing K-Drama trope. If you have enjoyed previous cross-dressing K-Dramas, you should give The Tale of Nokdu a try!

Vagabond (Netflix/SBS)

Lee Seunggi and Suzy reunites in Vagabond for the first time since Gu Family Book in 2013 and this was definitely a great reunion. With a backdrop involving government corruption and terrorist attacks, Lee Seunggi dons the role of a retired stuntman turned vagabond to avenge the death of his nephew and uncover the truth. Suzy joins Lee Seunggi as a rookie special agent who gets pulled into the investigations after being in the wrong place during the wrong time (or the right place in the right time depending on how you view the investigations). This action-packed series was filmed across many countries such as Portugal and Morocco and would give you a huge adrenaline rush as the main cast faces new obstacles and betrayals in every episode. The current ending of the series suggests a possible Season 2. If you are a fan of spy and action-type thrillers like City Hunter and IRIS, you would love Vagabond!

When the Camellia Blooms (KBS2)

The highest-rated mini-series this year after The Fiery Priest, When the Camellia Blooms is a slightly more light-hearted slice of life series set in the fictional matriarchal town of Ongsan. The series stars Gong Hyojin as a single mother who moves to the town to raise his son and run a bar called “Camellia”. The story revolves around Kang Haneul’s small town cop (and lowkey village idiot with a heart of gold) who has a crush on Gong Hyojin and her baseball star ex-boyfriend and the boy’s father played by Kim Jiseok trying to win her back. What makes this series so well-loved is that besides the love triangle shenanigans set in the small-town community, the endless line of useless pushover men, and the community drama between store owners and neighbours, there is also a mystery involving a serial killer who holds a grudge against the female lead. But ultimately it is a quirky drama where the slice-of-life really dominates over the mystery aspect of the series and we learn a lot about the characters and their backstories as the series progresses. If you like a more slow-paced, slice-of-life series, When the Camellia Blooms is the series for you!

Honourable Mentions:

Dazzling/The Light In Your Eyes (JTBC): The story about a young woman who suddenly became 70 years old but with the ability to manipulate time. The series received critical acclaim for its portrayals of the struggles of everyday folk in South Korea and for its surprising twists.

The Secret Life of My Secretary (SBS): The male lead is a childish company director who lost the ability to recognise faces and must enlist the help of his secretary to maintain the pretence of normalcy. Rainbow’s Jaekyung was a complete scene-stealer for her role as the over-the-top CEO Veronica Park. 

The Last Empress (SBS): Set in the alternate reality where South Korea is a constitutional monarchy, this is a melodrama involving a bodyguard who wants to seek revenge on the King’s mistress and a Queen who discovers her fairy tale marriage was just a PR ploy by the royal family. Basically, peak quality makjang.

What’s your Top 10 K-Dramas of the Year? Leave your thoughts in the comments section below and may the drama sharing begin (and the road to more excuse for holiday procrastination!)

Also, if you want to check out underrated K-Pop songs of 2019, here are the lists for idol songs and artist songs. We have also made a list for the Top 20 most underrated K-Pop songs of the decade!

[ofstrikcrs]

heyo what’s poppin ! it’s me, hannah !  i’m 20 n vibin in the est. my pronouns r we/them/boys but she/her work as well djskfsmd n i’m currently #unemployed BUT i am a full time student... majoring in dumb bitch theory n loving my gf n i’m at the top of my class baby...... :’) ANYWAY. i’m back again w a ( hopefully ) more condensed version of the infamous google doc(s) STRIKER KIM? MORE LIKE STRIKE ME IN THE HEART I LOVE U BITCH so that u dont all have to read the monstrosity that is my app ( but like, if u wanna... u can find it right HERE ) 

n without further ado... let’s kick it !

this is striker, he’s 28 ( soon to b 29 #ariesculture ) n he’s very complicated.. very complicated.... 

his mom cherry kim ( nee corallo ) is the daughter of lorenzo corallo, renowned filmmaker. daphne had a stint in acting in her youth as well but ending up withdrawing from the spotlight once she married his dad.

his dad is warren kim, business man

what kind of business you ask ? well..

let us rewind a little bit, shall we? now if you know anything about the ins and outs of organized crime in new york city, the name corallo might sound *eyes emoji* familiar to you. giovanni corallo was a boss of the lucchese crime family until his arrest and… you guessed it… that means our man lorenzo corallo is a man of the mafia !

lorenzo, however, wasn’t a first-born son which also meant he wasn’t an heir in any way shape or form and was free to do his thing you know BUT when it came time to arrange marriage for his one and only daughter, cherry, it was Expected of him to keep it in the family 

enter the kim family, who had been loyal to the lucchese family for as long as they’d been in america and had built up quite a reputation for themselves in the family, so it was just a natural choice to marry off cherry to their son, warren

they had two kids! their first-born son, dagger, and their second-son…. STRIKER !

and, as in all mafia stories, there is no better prize than the benefits reaped from die-hard loyalty, so in addition to getting to marry a corallo girl… a series of unfortunate events ( i.e. some deaths and arrests ) led to the promotion from right-hand man to acting boss of none other than our very own warren kim

now being the child of an acting mob boss is stressful, but being the second-son of an acting mob boss is… slightly less stressful. see, cherry stepping Out of the spotlight was a strategic move on her own part but was entirely her own decision which meant that striker was free to choose the exact opposite

with no real mafia-related responsibilities or expectations ( other than keeping his mouth SHUT ) on his shoulders, he was more or less… free to roam however he wanted and as he’s always had a taste for the finer things in life, there’s no real surprise that he chose to follow his mother’s side of the family and became nothing short of a socialite in new york city 

which.. despite what the press says abt our #mans striker kim ( i.e. being a billionaire playboy, irresponsible, reckless, wild, etc. ) he’s smart n his main motivation for heading straight for the spotlight is bc every person who falls in love w him is part of a complex and expansive insurance policy that makes it that much harder for the mafia to make him Disappear, u know ?

this is one of the reasons why striker and dagger never Really not along, though striker’s always had this theory that dagger was built for nothing but the mafia anyway bc he’s straight up one of the meanest, cruelest,  most RUTHLESS people that striker has ever met. but, like, with a name like dagger… how could you not be?

things really start getting #Complicated for striker when he’s ABOUT to graduate from college and his dad yeets this mortal coil in a Shocking Tragic Unexpected death ! it doesn’t really affect striker all that much bc striker spent a lot of his life living with his grandfather in the city but… rather when his father dies it’s dagger that ascends into the role of acting boss and BOY OH BOY that’s nothing but trouble for striker 

dagger gets striker roped right back into the mafia that he worked his whole life to try n get out of.. just like that. sad.

and because striker is… como se dice…. a stubborn shithead with a penchant for the dramatics, he starts looking for a way to make his brothers life absolute hell because! yes! striker IS the person who fucks with the mafia! what a moron!

for a good few years it was just minor stuff, nothing really consequential, but that gets boring very quickly bc ... u know ... it is what it is 

ANYWAY. he really finds his in to what’s going to make dagger kim’s life HELL and that is getting himself involved in a little heist group. there are only so many events that striker can show his face that end with a robbery of some sort before it starts to become suspicious, and it doesn’t take a genius to connect the kim family to the corallo family to the lucchese family. it’s just enough to keep people talking but not enough to actively incriminate himself. and as long as he’s not publicly throwing the lucchese family under the bus, he’s still, by all accounts, insured by the mafia as the son of warren kim.

anyway! enough w the backstory! here’s some fun lil personality n headcanon stuff :’)

first and foremost.. he does have a face tatoo. ( and an eyebrow piercing and yes i have photos of both if u want to see them )  it’s of a crown on his left cheek and he   got it within a week of his father dying and dagger forcing him to come back into   the mafia to Assert His Dominance n show dagger he was still in charge of his own   goddamn decisions so fuck you dagger

dagger punched him in the face for getting the tattoo and he had a black eye for two weeks but you win some you lose some

on the surface? rich kid asshole!!! rich RICH kid asshole!!! you know the kind of guy you take one ( 1 ) look at him and you’re like yeAh u absolutely think that ur better than me ? that’s him 

does he rly think he’s better than u? unclear.. depends on who u are... i already have some thots abt who striker wld dislike hmu tho aha x

fluent in english ofc n also korean and italian, his primary language is lit rally a jumble of korean and italian tht nobody can understand but like.. him n dagger n his dad ( rip ) n he also knows a little spanish and japanese.

he’s afraid of horses but will never admit it

he loves to bet!!! he loves it!!! it’s probably from growing up in a family where making bets on things was a major source of income but he will 100000% place bets on anything there is to place bets on and will rope as many people into his betting pools as possible

he hasn’t had his gay awakening yet isn’t that tragic??  turns out the mafia ISN’T a very lgbt friendly place, who would have thought?? so that’s absolutely something that’s going to happen bc we know that i love to make my characters suffer esp when it’s related to their attraction to someone whew…

he’s somehow both the biggest gossip and the most secretive person that you’ll ever meet??? like he’s an instigator n will make offhanded comments abt what he’s observed other ppl doing recently that he thinks are… inch resting… and you’ll have this long ass conversation w him and not realize until like 2 hours later that he didn’t say one ( 1 ) thing abt himself the entire time

you know how finnick from the hunger games used to get paid for things w secrets??? that’s so striker to the core… like you can’t buy him or bribe him bc baby has $$$ and is so disinterested in the glitz and glamor of fast cars and expensive drinks and whatnot, so if you really want him to do something for him… you’re going to have to trade him some secrets… n that’s that on that!

he doesn’t like to take his shirt off around ppl bc #scars ( predominantly the large letter L that’s branded on his chest but there are some others that i haven’t decided on yet ) anyway he does not partake in the pool parties n as explanation has just always  told everyone that he doesn’t know how to swim… n he’ll die w that lie, thank u !

very paranoid... has 2 different phones w his contacts n codes.. folds his clothes a certain way so he can know if someone touched his stuff... has a fun in a safe under his bed that he changes the passcode to regularly.... he also has some ocd but a lot of it is #trauma

im sry there r so many points here i .. rly tried to trim them down n there are like 300% more in my app but.. whew... ok

i’m going to stop now but pls.. pls plot w me i beg ok thank u bye

[beyond-far-horizons]

The Theme of Love, William Blake, DMC 5 and the fate of the Sons of Sparda

I’ve always loved symbolism and literary references in my favourite stories so I’m ecstatic to see the incredible William Blake join Dante Alighieri as a major influence on the Devil May Cry series. 

Is before the game’s release too early to do some meta? Of course not!

So let’s dig deeper and see what possible plot points or themes we can glean from Blake’s work and other symbolism for what the dev team have said will be the conclusion for the ‘Sons of Sparda’

Spoilers abound - read at your own risk!

William Blake was a 18th Century English poet, artist and mystic who created his own complex religious mythology for his works. Sadly not widely known or respected at the time, he nevertheless had an increasingly powerful influence on the arts. 

The main themes Blake grappled with were the hypocrisy of the Christian Church against what he saw as the natural forces of the imagination and sexuality. He was also very concerned with the effects of the Industrial Revolution on society, especially on the poor. 

So he’s a good guy, but how does this relate to the Sons of Sparda? 

Vergil and Urizen

The big bad of Blake’s mythology as most of you know by now is a god-like figure called Urizen. Blake hints that Urizen is the Christian/Abrahamic God but he is most similar to the gnostic Demiurge figure and represents according to Wikipedia ‘ Urizen is the embodiment of conventional reason and law.’

Now who do we know who puts cold logic above emotions?

‘He is said to represent the Heavenly host, but he experiences a Satanic fall in that he desired to rule. He is motivated by his pride and becomes a hypocrite. When Albion asks for him, Urizen refuses and hides, which causes him to experience his fall. After his fall, Urizen set about creating the material world and his jealousy of mankind brought forth both Wrath and Justice.[4] Wikipedia

Urizen being cast out from Eternity. Book of Urizen

Guys, it even says ‘motivated by pride’, what more do you want? More than this, Vergil does literally fall, unable to accept his loss to Dante and the path of emotion and honour Dante represents - the true inheritor of their parents’ will.

 Despite Vergil’s coldness, he is filled underneath with anger - 

‘What defines Vergil as a character to me is that while he seems like the perfect samurai in his very calm and calculated demeanor, you can always sense the simmering intensity and even rage.’ Dan Southworth

Yet he also exhibits a strange sense of justice such as refusing to stab Dante in the back as Nelo Angelo and pride in being a Son of Sparda TM. 

In DMC 5 Urizen is described as a newly ascendent, powerful demon who seeks to use the Demon Tree to become king over the Demon World and (presumably via his actions in Red Grave City) merge it with the Human World. It’s been pretty much confirmed that Vergil is big bad Urizen in some form - from Dan Southworth’s re-pitched voice, Urizen’s looks - the blue colouring and spiky hair -  and V’s assertion that Urizen is the Cloaked Man who stole Yamato - Vergil’s sword and who also has Dan’s voice and Corrupted Vergil’s looks. Also his scheme the same power grab Vergil tried in DMC 3 and the manga.

This being said, what does it tell us about Vergil’s motivation (sorry) in DMC 5? For this we need to look at the rest of the clues...

The Poison Tree 

DMC 5 starts with the roots of the Demon Tree ‘Qliphoth’ invading Red Grave City and bringing with it a hoard of demons. It also seems to use the population’s blood as an energy source creating a demonic ‘fruit’ at its source that will grant the power to rule the Demon World according to demon Goliath. 

This relates to Blake's poem "A Poison Tree" where, through suppression of anger, the protagonist’s rage grows like a tree and bears a fruit that kills his foe.  

‘The allegory within the poem emphasizes that when a person hides or denies their emotions, they will become poisoned with bitterness and more vengefulness.’

https://www.enotes.com/homework-help/what-theme-poem-poison-tree-thank-you-144241

Again who do we know hides or denies their emotions? Given how closely the dev team are using Blake’s work this implies that Vergil as Urizen in some form has become consumed with bitterness and vengence, something we already saw from him in DMC 3. Added to this is his loss of pride at being the slave and puppet of his mother’s killer (Mundus) and being defeated by Dante a second time in DMC 1. We see this callousness in the way he treats Nero - his only child who he’s never met and Dante again in front of the tree. 

(Interestingly this quote could also refer to Dante as a plot twist. I’d argue that although Dante is a lot freer with his emotions he perhaps hasn’t dealt fully with the rage and pain that life has dealt him - what do you think?)

Another interesting note is the word ‘Qliphoth’ which comes from Jewish mystic branch Kabbalah and means - 

‘literally "Peels", "Shells" or "Husks" (from singular: קְלִפָּה‬ qlippah "Husk"),[2] are the representation of evil or impure spiritual forces in Jewish mysticism, the polar opposites of the holy Sefirot.[3]’ 

The Sefirot are emmanations of the Divine that manifest into this world and the pattern they are depicted in is also like a tree so the evil version makes the ‘Qliphoth’ a metaphysical demonic tree.

If we look at Urizen he looks like tree-like husk encasing another figure, connecting them to this tree. Trailers and promo material have also shown people encased in husks feeding the tree and the theme is repeated with Cavaliere Angelo being powered by Trish.

Does this hint that Vergil’s true nature is being obscured by Urizen or that, like in DMC 3 his pride and lust for power still obscure his caring side like the husks in Kabbalah?

In a Korean interview the dev team said DMC 5 will return to DMC 1′s theme of love (something I’m absolutely crazy about.) Sparda’s choice to protect humanity and love a human woman, Eva’s sacrifice for her sons and Dante and Vergil literally embodying the two human ways of dealing with the pain of that trauma have always been the most captivating aspect for me. Hopefully this means we will finally get the conclusion we lacked from DMC 1 and DMC 3 to that essential dilemma  - is the best way of life via compassion and altruism or domination and control via dispassionate reason? 

Or maybe a combo of both?

Love, Lust and Nero’s Mother

The DMC team have been remarkably coy about Nero’s mother which has always irritated me. It fridges another mother/lover character as well as denying us juicy( and I’d argue) essential story details aka why Captain ‘I Hate Humanity and Repress My Emotions’ would ever deign to sleep with a human.

But since the Korean interview hints at the theme of love perhaps we will get an insight at last, especially if we get the long awaited confrontation between father and son. 

Blake’s writing gives us an interesting hint to this. In his mythos Urizen’s female counterpart is Ahania who stands for pleasure and the desire for intelligence. They have many children including a rebellious son called Fuzon who fights against his father’s repressive ways (Nero anyone?). But the crucial part is Urizen separating himself from Ahania because he believes pleasure is sinful or limiting - just as Vergil separated himself from human desires and emotions because he thought of them as weak. But also like Vergil, Urizen becomes weaker as a result, losing his intuition, for the path to Divine Wisdom accord to Blake was passion and reason - something Dante grew into, becoming more balanced and mature as the series has progressed.

It wouldn’t surprise me if we get some callous remark from Vergil about Nero’s mother at first - was he with her out of lust which disgusted him afterwards (wasn’t Nero’s mother hinted at being a prostitute?), or was it an experiment as someone else has suggested to see if he could recreate Sparda’s power via his connection with Eva or ven some creepy deal with the Order of the Sword to continue Sparda’s bloodline despite his intention to raise Temen-ni-gru and show them ‘this devil’s power’?

Whatever he says it will cause more of a rift, but I believe at the end Vergil will be forced to confront her importance even just as the mother of his child, along with other significant figures like Nero, Dante and Eva.

Nero and Urizen’s son Fuzon

"1: Fuzon, on a chariot iron-wing'd On spiked flames rose; his hot visage Flam'd furious! sparkles his hair & beard Shot down his wide bosom and shoulders. On clouds of smoke rages his chariot And his right hand burns red in its cloud Moulding into a vast globe, his wrath As the thunder-stone is moulded. Son of Urizens silent burnings

Blake

‘As the element of fire, the element symbolizing the energy Urizen wishes to subdue, Fuzon rebels against Urizen...battling him for control of the world’ Fuzon Wikipedia

This sounds much like Nero’s reckless and impassioned battle with DMC’s Urizen for control of the Human World. 

Unfortunately for Fuzon he is eventually defeated by his father and crucified on the Tree of Mystery  - yet another powerful tree symbol.

This is not looking good for Nero...but since Blake’s works develop, the element of passionate rebellion and the quest for the reunion of reason and imaginative emotion continue and I can’t see Nero dying at the end of DMC 5 so perhaps there will be a resurrection of sorts?

Dante and Luvah/Orc

But where does Dante figure in all of this? Can Blake’s mythology give us some potential answers? He does in the double figure of Luvah/Orc (no, not that sort of orc...)

Orc. William Blake

As Luvah - ‘he represents love, passion, and rebellious energy..’ he is also known ‘as the Prince of Love, and his name may be connected to the word "lover". Love is the supreme emotion, and it is connected to all others, including hate...his fallen form is Orc. Throughout Blake's mythological system, he is opposed to Urizen, the representation of reason.’

Orc is also ‘the embodiment of rebellion, and stands opposed to Urizen, the embodiment of tradition...’ He is a ‘"Lover of Wild Rebellion, and transgressor of God's Law"... Orcus is also the Latin word for Hell, and Orc is presented as a rebellious, Luciferian character.’

We can see Dante’s human and demonic aspects in these quotes.

Urizen and Luvah/Orc engage in a complex battle across the cycle of ages as a metaphor for the conflict between reason and the emotions - just like Dante and Vergil. He also gets crucified to a tree (not looking good for Dante either then...) but resurrects in various forms including (Blake being a Christian) Jesus. In this resurrected form Urizen is afraid of the new Luvah  - perhaps in DMC terms this is when we see Dante’s Majin form? Either way I think both Nero and Dante are going to be called on to make some sort of sacrifice fighting Vergil as Urizen, hopefully to bring him back to the light and free him from the evil husk of hatred.

Healing the Division

‘Later in Vala, Orc describes the divided aspects of the soul, which, in Blake's mythological system, God has a twofold essence that is capable of good and evil. This idea parallels Blake's personal belief that there was a division within himself..’.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orc_(Blake)

The symbolism of divided aspects of God and the soul within Blake’s system hark back again to the division between Dante and Vergil and Vergil and Nero. In the manga Vergil reflects on Dante and him being one being split in two. The aspects of their all-powerful father were also split between them as Sparda was also known as being calm like Vergil and rebellious like Dante as reflected in his two swords given to each respective son. And of course there’s that ‘pesky’ human nature from Eva.

Nero too has grown into his own, arguably as some have said being more like Sparda than either of his sons, willing to sacrifice his power because of his love for a human and protect other humans for her sake. Hopefully as hinted in both the Korean interview, the works of Blake and the core of Devil May Cry, it will be the theme of Love that will finally bring the family of Sparda together and heal at long last that division.

V and the Poetry of Blake

Despite being the mouthpiece for a lot of Blake’s poetry I’m not going to talk much about V except to refer you to this great post from la-vita which lists alot of his quotes.

https://la-vita.tumblr.com/post/182731950816/two-of-the-poems-v-reads-during-battle

It says that V’s book may refer to the ‘V’ of DMC V, Blake’s Plate 5 he is reading, however...

‘Urizen is described as having multiple books: Gold, Silver, Iron, and Brass. They represent science, love, war, and sociology, which are four aspects of life.’

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Urizen

Hmm...

Thanks for reading if you got this far!

[hayley-lee-mit2150]

Reading Response - Chapter 11-to the end

This week, our reading was chapter 11 to the end of “The Hate U Give.” This was an extremely interesting and easily digestible read due to all the media circulating around gun violence among teens and the relatability of Starr’s identity issues. Specifically, within these last chapters, the book explored greater depths regarding black-teen culture and the trauma these individuals face - a trauma unlike any that other racial groups usually face. I really admired how this book was used as a medium for those who are not black, like myself to better understand and explore what black teens face such as the cognitive dissonance associated with constantly code-switching. As much as we like to think, we can only understand so much without having personally experienced it ourselves; that is why it is so critical books like “The Hate U Give” must exist to help initiate and facilitate discourse and dialogue regarding difficult topics. Specifically, from personal experience as an immigrant, when reading about Starr’s struggles with fitting in with both communities/environments, I instantly empathized and related. Starr challenges her identities through conscious and subconscious means, much like I did during high school. For example, she talks to Carlos and her uncle about trying to make peace with both her identities whilst she also is constantly in a state of confusion on which identity is her more authentic version. However, it is through these struggles that Starr equips herself with the knowledge and skills to better tackle certain scenarios where she may feel compromised. 

Going back to code-switching however, this is something I personally experienced all throughout high school when hanging out with different friends. When I was with my Asian friends I felt more liberated through my Korean culture and the group naturally related to one another due to the fact we had similar parental and academic issues and pressures. However, when I hung out with my white friends, I often felt like I had to suppress a certain part of myself as it felt irrelevant or unimportant or sometimes even embarrassing. The last part was one of the main reasons I felt so much discomfort, like Starr. You begin to question why you feel the emotions you feel and further how it impacts your genuine self. Like Starr being proud of being black when dancing, there are times when you feel proud and comfortable of your identity but other times where you suppress it entirely to fit in or to feel a greater sense of belonging. I think Starr like myself, felt as if her identity with some of her friends was a performance and subsequently, felt the symptoms of Imposter Syndrome. 

Furthermore, watching Starr struggle with her blackness, especially with the word “THUG LIFE” reminded me of being called a chink and a fob and how similar to the black community, the Asian community has taken those terms back and used them to empower us rather than divide us. In addition, the personal explanation of “THUG LIFE”: “a system designed against us”, made me think of how for most African Americans the system is cyclic and has no escape. African-Americans are the most vulnerable group to become involved with drugs and the most common to enter prison. Beyond that, there are no routes of escape or future growth for them; there are no proper supportive measures that are implemented to help these individuals to better ground themselves. This is truly an awful epidemic that many politicians are trying to reduce.

Moreover, with Khalil’s death, it was very representative of how prevalent racial bias is these days. Although I myself experience racial bias on a much less severe level, “The Hate U Give” showcased how much of a social norm it has become. Further, it highlighted how being a certain colour, in this instance, black, equated a list of characteristics, the main one being a criminal. As one of my peers stated in our discussion group, “when it comes to black people, the police take hills and make them into mountains.” An example of this would be how the child playing with a toy in a park was shot a couple of years ago and how poorly it was represented in the media, putting the blame on the child and not the police officers. Ultimately “The Hate U Give” just reaffirmed my personal belief that everything goes back to colonialism and capitalism. 

Moreover, this reading also made me think heavily about racial bias being used for hirings/completing a workplace quota. It made me think of the iconic question that many people of colour always return to: should you let yourself get hired knowing they are only hiring you because you are a certain race (completing a quota) or should you fight against that hiring protocol because colour has no relation to your qualifications? Additionally, it made me think of how racism has different levels. For example, saying the n-word vs saying yeehaw are yes, both examples of racism but have drastically different meanings and impacts. Therefore, it is critical we as a society understand our history and keep things in perspective. 

Ultimately, the last few chapters of “The Hate U Give” were genuinely enjoyable and stimulated me to think and question many different topics. It made me realize how much I missed reading and the impact it can have on your self-reflection and growth.

[baenxietydad]

Bae Mu-yeol/Marlin Bae Personality Profile

Slytherin Primary, Ravenclaw Secondary, Hufflepuff Secondary Performance - Type 5 - ISFJ-T - Neutral Good - Taurus Sun, Aquarius Moon, Libra Rising

Psychoanalyzing Marlin is interesting because there exists two Marlins - if not three - inside the same person at the same time. There’s the Marlin that he originally grew up to be and in some ways still is underneath all the layers of grief and trauma that have warped him into a different kind of person as a base, and that warped version of him has been further twisted by both himself and all of the lies he’s telling Nemo, and by fairy society’s stipulations for being allowed the safety of a Hollow.

 To talk about Marlin, you have to talk about him like Shrek. Bitch got layers. And all of his layers are there for a reason. Some are like a peacoat, worn mostly for the Look ™ , but kept safely in the coat closet when not necessary. Others are are permanent as the bones beneath his skin.

 What is your character’s Hogwarts House/Hogwarts Houses? What trait do they most relate to? What trait do they least relate to? 

 Slytherin Primary, Ravenclaw secondary, with a Hufflepuff Secondary Model (or Performance hm)

 Y’all. I straight wasn’t even gonna touch Sorting Hat chats because it honestly confused/es the hell out of me. But I braved it and holy COW did I come up with some stuff for Marlin! Actually. It more jumped out at ME like “HEY HELLO YES.” So now here’s my super extra ™ analysis.

 I initially through Marlin was a Ravenclaw Primary with a Puff Secondary, but it quickly became clear to me that a bitch was way off.

 The below excerpt from Sorting Hat Chats is what made me realize Marlin was very much a Slytherin primary.

 A Slytherin does not generally feel guilty for valuing themselves [...] or for sacrificing other things for the safety and happiness of the people they love […] An exception to this is a Slytherin who’s managed to kick themselves out of their inner circle. For whatever reason, they don’t feel like they deserve their own help or kindness. Their “me and mine” priorities are still apparent but now it’s only “mine.” They fiercely and selflessly prioritize the individuals they love, value, or feel responsible for, while excluding their own self.

 Marlin’s “mine” is only one person right now. His son, Nemo. Nemo is his entire world and everything he has done since losing his wife has been in an attempt to keep Nemo safe and make him happy. Marlin is perfectly content with living a lonely existence in a Hollow where few fairies want much to do with him, if it means Nemo is safe. He misses his parents, cousins, siblings, and friends from his Hollow in South Korea, but he feels no guilt for literally ditching all of them to whisk Nemo away to Swynlake’s Hollow because he deemed Swynlake a safer place to raise his son.

 As a Constructed House, Slytherins build a morality system to follow and make judgements with. Unlike the Ravenclaw, who holds this built system at the heart of the way they interact with life, this is a supplemental thing for the Slytherin. Their core morality is felt, an empathic need to protect and support their own, but that strong sense of personal loyalty gives little hint about what to do in situations that don’t involve the Slytherin’s people directly.

 Marlin’s self-sacrificing nature led me to believe he’d be a Hufflepuff at first. But it soon became clear to me that Marlin would only help the bleeding man on the road to Jericho if doing so would not cause any harm or any potential for harm to his “mine”, to Nemo. If presented with the hypothetical of pulling a lever to heal all the sick in the world at the cost of Nemo, Marlin wouldn’t pull the lever and would not at all regret it. While Nemo would probably beg his father to trade him to the literal rest of the world, Marlin would never even consider it.

 Regarding his Ravenclaw secondary which I thought was his Primary:

Ravenclaws’ efficacy often relies on what situation they are in: what the problem is they have to solve and whether or not they’ve prepared the proper tools for that problem. [...] Do they know how to ride horses? Speak Greek? Do they have contingency plans for earthquakes, zombie apocalypses, or a surprise visit from the in-laws?

 If they’ve already built themselves a tool set for a situation, they’re likely to excel at it. If they have not, they’re likely to blink a few times while they try to either invent something new for themselves or to cobble up something approximate from their existing resources.

 Marlin is a jack of many trades and a master of few. He has a wide set of skills he’s picked up largely out of necessity. In order to make enough human money to pay for his son’s dance classes, Marlin has to occasionally find work outside of the Hollow. Over the years he’s done yardwork, has worked some construction jobs, was a seasonal laborer on a farm in Besydus, occasionally works with temp agency in NTO primarily at banquet halls, and has thrown himself into learning new skill sets all the time because he needed the money to make Nemo happy.

 While he’s learned few of these skill sets to perfection, he learned them well enough to get what he needed. 

 Socially, Marlin can navigate the social politics of fairy society and talk with humans about topics he’s versed in - literature, music, East Asian particularly Korean culture, philosophy - but he would (figuratively) die if asked if he supported Liverpool or Manchester.

 He isn’t an improviser at his core, he likes to have a plan, but he can sometimes improvise by pulling on his previous knowledge. 

 As for his Performance/Model of Hufflepuff Secondary. Fairies are communists. They put community first. And Marlin is a very bad fairy communist. He values him and his above the rest of the community. His being his son. And having lived in mundus Seoul for years with his wife, he became accustomed to treating community as important but not the end all be all. But in order to keep being allowed to live in the Hollow, he’s crafted a nice respectable fairy of himself.

What is your character’s Enneagram? How does the “basic fear/desire” influence their actions? 

 Enneagram Type 5w6 - The Problem Solver

Perceptive, Innovative, Secretive, and Isolated

Basic Fear: Being useless, helpless, or incapable

Basic Desire: To be capable and competent

 Fives are alert, insightful, and curious. They are able to concentrate and focus on developing complex ideas and skills. Independent, innovative, and inventive, they can also become preoccupied with their thoughts and imaginary constructs. They become detached, yet high-strung and intense. They typically have problems with eccentricity, nihilism, and isolation.

 Honestly, this Type 5 page read Marlin for filth, y’all. I believe that this is probably the most...consistent one. Meaning, he’d still have been this personality type even if he hadn’t lost his wife and developed the depression, PTSD, and anxiety following that. Because while current!Marlin has given into isolation most, ideal!Marlin would have more of a nihilist streak, and both versions of Marlin are/would be quite eccentric. 

 Negative-to-neutral qualities of Type 5s would have manifested in less severe ways in Marlin without his big trauma, but have just run wild in him now. 

 The basic fear and desire bit is interesting because like. Marlin in the state he is now literally only cares about Nemo and taking care of him. Untainted Marlin was just so vibrant and chased after several interests outside of his son, but now, he only cares about being a good father. So literally every action is an attempt to be good to Nemo because that’s the only thing, to him, he is even capable of being good or bad at is being Nemo’s father. He has no worth or purpose apart from raising his son. 

What is your character’s MBTI? Out of the four elements, which is strongest and which is weakest? 

 MBTI: ISFJ-T- The Defender

Love only grows by sharing. You can only have more for yourself by giving it away to others. - Brian Tracy

 I- 81%

S - 51 %

F - 60%

J - 69% (nice)

T - 68%

 Damn, so honestly I feel like Marlin’s personality type either changed over the years, or, his inclination toward certain traits changed. Particularly, the introvert v. extrovert one. Marlin has always leaned more toward the introvert side, however, 81% is high for Marlin in his natural ,untraumatized state.

 He has always been someone who needed to rest after being extra social and recharge, but he used to genuinely enjoy things like parties, events, concerts, and even hosting groups of people at his and So-yeon’s home. Like, I’d say he naturally would exist at about 60% introversion, but because of over a decade of isolation and extreme loneliness on top of his depression and PTSD amplifying his need to not be too drained too often by other people/fairies, it’s got him at over 80% now.

 His lowest being  Sensing v. Intuition at 51% toward the Sensing side honestly tracks. Because he does lean more toward that side but not strongly. He’s damn near in the middle here. From myersbriggs.org, 

Sensing (S)

 Paying attention to physical reality, what I see, hear, touch, taste, and smell. I'm concerned with what is actual, present, current, and real. I notice facts and I remember details that are important to me. I like to see the practical use of things and learn best when I see how to use what I'm learning. Experience speaks to me louder than words.

 And

 Intuition (N)

 Paying the most attention to impressions or the meaning and patterns of the information I get. I would rather learn by thinking a problem through than by hands-on experience. I'm interested in new things and what might be possible, so that I think more about the future than the past. I like to work with symbols or abstract theories, even if I don't know how I will use them. I remember events more as an impression of what it was like than as actual facts or details of what happened.

 Marlin leans toward the first just barely. 

What is your character’s moral alignment? How does this affect their decision-making process? What about their relationships to authority, their family, their friends? 

 Projection: Lawful Neutral

Self: Neutral Good

 Fairy society is Lawful Neutral and you can’t change my mind:

 Lawful neutral is the philosophy that law and order are desirable ends in and of themselves. It is a philosophy of pure equitistic collectivism. This philosophy holds that the best way for all beings to pursue a rational self-interest is within the framework of a strong social order. By putting the needs of the state or social order ahead of individual desires, each being can advance the self-interest of the collective as a whole. Lawful neutral can also be associated with ethical equitism and natural law philosophies. As the philosophical "average" of altruism and egoism, equitism holds that harm to others should be minimized when advancing the self and that harm to the self should be minimized when advancing others.

 Lawful neutral philosophers generally maintain that there is metaphysical order in the multiverse and thus may support doctrines of hard determinism, predeterminism, fatalism, predestination, and/or necessitarianism. They may believe in fate or destiny. They tend to be moral objectivists, holding that values exist in the external world independently of and external to our comprehension of them; that they can be found and known; and that they must be used as principles for human judgments and conduct.

 Marlin himself, however, is Neutral Good, which can sometimes conflict with expectations from fairy society.

 Neutral good is the philosophy that goodness should be advanced by using whatever means provide the most benefit. It is a philosophy of altruistic consequentialism. This philosophy holds that people should behave altruistically and balance the needs of the collective as a whole and the needs of the individuals making up the collective. Neutral good can also be associated with act utilitarianism and ethical altruism.

 Neutral good philosophers generally maintain that there is metaphysical balance in the multiverse and thus may support doctrines of soft determinism, pragmatism, conventionalism, and/or instrumentalism. They may believe in free will or choice. They could also embrace skepticism or suspend judgment on philosophical issues. They tend to be moral relativists, holding that values differ from society to society, from person to person; that they are conditioned by the peculiarities of the society in which they arise; that they are not universally applicable at all times or in all places; and that they are correct or incorrect, desirable or undesirable only relative to whether or not they conform to a common norm or to common acceptance.

What is your character’s sun house? What trait do they most relate to? What do they least relate to? 

 Taurus Sun short description:

 He is strong-willed. He has charm, and he is tolerant and stoical. He likes pleasure and the

good things in life. Appreciates the Arts.

 Weaknesses: obstinacy, laziness. He can be materialistic.

 Aquarius Moon short description:

He is sociable, intelligent, and lucid. Thanks to great sociability, he has many friends. He is

modern, original, inventive, non-conformist, and is likely to bring new life to everything he does.

Potential issues: He is eccentric with sharp mood swings. Complex love life.

 Ascendant is Libra

 Everybody seems to like Libra Ascendant natives. They just come across as nice, pleasant, and fair. Look a little closer at their lives, and these nice people may have had quite a few problems in their relationships. Some of them have had a string of relationships, and it can be hard to imagine why! These natives attract others to them effortlessly. Besides, they simply don't know what to do with themselves without a significant other. Libra rising generally appear to be smoothing everything over. They have charming smiles, a gentle approach with others, and an easygoing image. Even if they were not endowed with good looks, they are attractive. Most pay a lot of attention to their personal appearance -- the colors they wear, their hair, the way they walk. 

HONESTLY. Marlin’s entire natal chart read him for filth. 

 Like

 -81 Opposition between the Sun and Lilith

There is a self-destructive side to you that should be managed by confronting your fears.

 FFS this is an ATTACK.

[tramsstudyblr]

Korean (& Korean-related) Favorites

To boost my own motivation to continue studying Korean. Here’s a couple of lists of some of my favorite things. (under a cut because otherwise this will be too long!)

Favorite youtube channels (language resource related):

All things Korean (Only been making videos for about a year, but has a lot of really informative videos both in regards to language but also culture)

Talk To Me In Korean (They have so many videos + a whole website, of language resources. Everything from grammar to pronounciation, and miscellaneous other topics. Also they have been producing a ridiculous amount of content these past 6 months on their youtube channel, so it can be a bit overwhelming/daunting, but I really recommend this channel)

Learn Korean with GO! Billy Korean (a lot of grammar lessons, as well as general advice and reccomendations for studying, videos about culture. Has a livestream every sunday where he does an indepth lesson on a grammar subject. Splits everything into beginner, intermediate and advanced learners. Has a new series of videos for beginners. Also practice videos for intermediate and advanced learners)

K-waterbottle (not really a language resource as such, but he explains korean memes)

There are a lot more channels out there, Billy Go has two videos recommending other youtube channels. But I haven’t gotten around to checking them out.

Favorite youtube channels (other):

영국남자 Korean Englishman/Jolly (In theory they could I guess be used as a language resource since they have subtitles that are both in English and Korean. But mostly, they are entertainment. English guys introducing Korean food and culture, also Ollie is trying to learn Korean, and that is frequently hilarious. They are super funny and I adore their channels.

Some South Korean vloggers I follow to:

planD플랜디

Mejoo and Cats

냥숲nyangsoop

댕은Daengeun

수린 suzlnne

이욜 eyol

하루한끼 one meal a day

Favorite variety shows:

The Great Escape (Three seasons of a group of Korean celebrities taking on the most ambitious elaborate escape “rooms” you’ll ever see. The budget for this show must be astronomical. Its one of my comfort shows actually, I love this show. Its funny and delightful)

New Journey to the West (My most favorite variety show. I love and adore it! Group of Korean celebrities, dress up, travel to places [though for the most recent seasons been confined to Korea for various reasons] and play games. Its a heartwarming as well as funny show, and the castmembers feel like they are family. Some of them have actually worked together for almost 20 years, including the producer, so they really do have a familiarity with each other, but even the newer kids are welcomed in the family). It also has spin-offs!

Kang’s Kitchen (The cast get to run a restaurant, with all the ups and down. It’s a bit more serious as they really do focus more on doing their best instead of being funny, but they still do manage to be funny, no the least because of the ways they mess up. Its actually even more heartwarming and a comfort show for me)

Various shorter spin-offs, featuring different pairings of the cast on their youtube channel 

(one of the writers on NJTTW is also a writer on the drama Hospital Playlist, so there are also videos related to that show on this youtube channel, but I haven’t watched that drama so idk much about them) 

I Can See Your Voice (Okay, so the synopsis of this is a bit... iffy I know. But the actual show actually manages to be geniunely uplifting at times, despite it. The general idea is that, celebrity guest, along with an expert panel have to guess who in a line-up of complete strangers, are the tone deaf and the talented singers. And everyone in the line-up then gets to perform. And I know it sounds like its just a set-up to laugh at the people who can’t sing. But all of the tone deaf performers just seem so game for it and getting to perform on stage on TV must be a powerful incentive. I started out just watching it for specific guests, but then the last two-three seasons I watched all episodes regardless of guests, because of the interviews with the people participating, its very refreshing after mainly idol/celebrity focused things I’ve watched, to listen to ordinary people and their stories)

Favorite K-drama:

(disclaimer: I have a bad habit of starting to watch a drama and then quitting before I’ve watched all episodes. But I do have a few I finished!)

Memorist (I finished this one recently. Crime drama with a lot of twists [some more expected than others] I appreciated it for its focus on plot and not really having a explicit romance angle since I wanted to watch something for the mystery. Anyway it was really quite good and entertaining)

Because This Is My First Life (I love love love loved this drama! A romance I could really get invested in)

It’s Okay That’s Love (You ever watch a kdrama that deals with mental ilness in a way that isn’t wildly offensive? This one is actually pretty good)

Moonlight Drawn by Clouds (I love this drama. Or do I love the way this drama played out in my head more? Tricky question. It’s a great drama either way [though the one in my head is slightly better].)

Favorite Korean Movies:

Masquerade (2012)

The Good, The Bad, The Weird (2008)

Jeon Woochi The Taoist Wizard (2009)

Parasite (2019)

Spellbound (2011)

The Handmaiden (2016)

The Man From Nowhere (2010)

The War of Arrows (2011)

The Grand Heist (2012)

The Merciless (2017)

Train To Busan (2016)

#Alive (2020)

Assassination (2015)

Secretly Greatly (2013)

The King and The Clown (2005)

Favorite Korean Music:

(I will not link to youtube music videos because then we’ll be here for an eternity and this will never get done. But I will list some songs) I got into kpop/kvariety all of this two years ago, but I was for some reason mostly drawn to groups that had been around for some time.

Groups

Block B (Don’t Leave, Yesterday, One Way, A Few Years Later, Toy, Her, Jackpot, Very Good, Movie’s Over, Be the Light, Romantically, Mental Breaker, Walkin’ In The Rain, Like This)

Winner (Millions, Ah Yeah, Remember, Well, Raining, Movie Star, We Were, For, Air, Fool, Love me Love me, Island, Really Really, Immature, Baby Baby, Don’t Flirt, Color Ring)

Sechskies (Road Fighter, pom saeng pom sa, Come to Me Baby, Couple, Yegam, Heartbreak [original and remastered versions], Reckless Love, Round & Round, Something Special, Smile, Backhug, Drinking Problem, Be Well, Vertigo, It's Been A While, Sad Song, Three Words)

Super Junior (Make You Smile, Ahora Te Puedes Marchar [okay so neither of those two is in Korean, but I love them!], Animals, One More Time, I Do, This is Love, Stars Appear, Islands, Evanesce, Bonamana, One More Chance,)

Buzz (Thorn, Tree, Coward, My Love, Don’t know Men, The Love, The First Summer in 8 years, Just One, Travel to Me)

Dreamcatcher (Chase Me, Good Night, Fly High, You and I, What, Deja Vu, Scream, R.o.S.E BLUE, Boca)

Speed [Sadly disbanded before I even found them, but I spent like a week obsessively watching every youtube video of them performing Don’t Tease Me. And after listening to some more of their songs I found I liked them] (Don’t Tease Me, Pain the love of heart, One Day, It's Over, That's My Fault, Luv Ya, Never Say Goodbye, Why I'm Not)

Miss A [sadly also disbanded before I found out about them] (Hush, Bad Girl Good Girl, Only You, Good-bye Baby, I Don't Need a Man, Breathe)

Solo

Park Kyung (of Block B. He has like 10 solo songs, I love them all and are by far my most played songs. So I could list all of them, or just leave it at this)

Kassy/케이시 (Listen to This Song[seriously, do listen to it, its so comforting], True Song, Tock Tock, The Day Was Beautiful, Story of Nightfall, When Love Comes By, Let it Rain)

Eun Jiwon (of Sechskies [and many variety shows]) (I'm On Fire, Hooligan, Same, Hate, Worthless, Trauma, 8t Truck, Never Ever, Adios, While Buzzed/Fuddled)

Bonus (random songs I like)

Park Hyoshin - Wild Flower

Park Hyoshin - Snow Flower

Sejeong - Flower Way

Twice - What Is Love?

Crayon Pop - Bing Bing

Vixx - Error

Zico - Human

Zico - The Language of Flowers

Zico - Being Left

Zico - Balloon

Wonder Girls - Why So Lonely

Wonder Girls - Nobody

Seventeen - Clap

BTOB - Way Back Home

g.o.d - The Story of Our Lives

g.o.d - A Funny But Sad Day

Gaho - Start

Lee Hi - Breathe

Urban Zakapa - I don't Love You

IU - Love Poem

Crush - Beautiful

Ailee - I Will Go To You Like The First Snow

J-Walk - Frappuccino

Melomance - Gift

I could probably spend another week or two adding songs to this list, so lets cut it short now.