#because there im loved by the boy i care so much about

[our-transmasculine-experience]

okay listen im white so i dont have much authority on this but i would like to say that im honestly tired of so much trans euphoria stuff revolving around fluffy hair. i know it can be nice but wheres the love for other cultures?

not everyone actually can get the classic trans boy fluffy hair euphoria haircut because like. their hair doesnt do that.

like, cultures where men wear things that cover their hair! the epitome of euphoria for people from those cultures to wear a turban or other things like that

black hairstyles! black trans boys getting locs or a fade or something like that!!

so many other things like that from non western cultures that just get overlooked and we need to care more about the trans guys who arent white!!! support all our brothers and non-man transmasc siblings!!!!

there's so much more than just the classic fluffy hair on every euphoria board

sorry if i worded this wrong, like i said im white but im very passionate about racism and not being discriminatory

^

[rebo-chan]

This was a HELLA LONG POST SO IM PUTTING IT UNDER A CUT. THIS WAS MY FIRST ATTEMPT AT A XANXUS ANALYSIS, SO I HOPE YOU VARIA FANS ENJOY??

OKAY so I did my last poll (Favorite arc) because I wanted to figure out which arc/aspect of an arc I should look at next. And Varia won. Also, as well my friend has been slowly scheming to get me into the Varia as a whole. Safe to say, it's starting to work. ANYWAY, since I've never done him before, the thing I wanted to look at here is Xanxus, his relationship with his wrath, and with his "pride". To start, Xanxus comes into the Ninth's care as a child being fooled into believing that he was the Ninth's son. Overtime, under the Ninth's care, he is led to believe that it is his birthright to be Vongola X. Pride as defined by my beloved Simon arc is something you can't give up on. This is no doubt Xanxus's pride. The only problem is that it was a fake one, so easily ripped away from him by the mere fact that he and the Ninth had no blood connections. This is where his Wrath "begins", furious at having been 'betrayed' that there was never any intention to make him the heir. The very thing he made his Pride. It's here, his wrath introduces him to Squalo who walks into the lion's den (or at least someone he had believed to be a Vongola Lion) wanting to see where that anger led him. Squalo, the series embodiment of the word 'Pride'. Eager to prove that Xanxus, who he believed to be the Ninth's son, he would be a valuable ally to.

Squalo and us the audience then get to see personally where Xanxus's Wrath had led him. Despite Xanxus's pride being fake, it was still not something he could give up on. He was going to take his pride back, no matter who bled for it. Hence the coup. His Wrath made him chase after his Pride, and what it ended up being was one.. big temper tantrum from the hands of someone with far too much power. It's not lost on me as well that the result of the coup is referred to as the Cradle Incident. A cradle, what you would do to calm down a screaming child. It's also here that Squalo finds out the truth about Xanxus not truly being Vongola X. In the midst of this family debacle, Xanxus's pride is confirmed to not just himself but to Squalo as well as false. Lucky for Xanxus, Squalo was never following his pride but rather his rage. Unfortunately, I'm not entirely sure that Xanxus sees it that way.

As Xanxus wakes up from the ice with years having passed, it does nothing to sooth the burn of his anger of his ripped away pride. He hatches up another plan, the ring conflict, in order to crush the one that his 'birthright' was given to. To spit on his father's choice and destroy what the Ninth had wanted for the boy, just like his wants were destroyed. "Show me what that old man saw in you." Is no doubt the wrath slipping through. It's a "What made you a better choice than me?" I don't doubt that the relationship between Xanxus and the Ninth is.. almost irreparable at this point, but he is still someone who thought highly of the Ninth's opinion just based on that and the fact he felt betrayed by the ninth's action. He again WAS proud to be his son, either that's from the benefits that being the heir for Vongola X brought or out of some genuine familial love. It's hard to say frankly and up to interpretation. (In the very least, we can at least say Timoteo did genuinely care for Xanxus but this post isn't about him<3) Either way, the ring conflict begins and it is Xanxus's chance at retaking his pride and getting his proper and true revenge for what was done for him.

But this time though, there are slight differences between now and the coup. Time either in the cradle or otherwise has morphed how Xanxus sees things. There's.. an added humiliation to Xanxus now, one that hates what happened back in the coup. Not in the way that he regrets what he did, persay but rather the way the Ninth's eyes looked upon him in pity, the way he sees that same look in Tsuna. The fact that Squalo was there, whether or not he had heard what happened. It burns Xanxus. He wants his pride back, but he wants it renewed. Freshly removed from his past. He wants the Ninth gone, and for the way Tsuna shares that same look in his eyes, he's going to take both of them down in one go if he can help it. (The cloud battle, putting Tsuna in the situation where he could be charged with possibly ending the Ninth's life. It would've been poetic, wouldn't it? The two gentle souls of the Vongola destroying one another.) Then, there's Squalo.. Squalo, who "dies" in the rain battle and Xanxus can only laugh. Because, finally, things are going his way. Now, everything is in place. He can now take the position of Vongola X without the threads of his past holding onto him tightly, reminding him of his failure, of who he really is, of his falsified pride. What's poetic is that it's the embodiment of Pride who appears, with an absolute refusal to die, for real pride isn't something you can give up, that reveals Xanxus's truth to everyone. Tells everyone what was essentially that no matter how hard Xanxus struggles and plots and rips and tears, his 'pride' will never be his again. Xanxus doesn't accept this, it wasn't Squalo's intention to make him to either, but the option isn't in his hands. It never was. The ninth, at the end of the cloud battle, blames himself for all of his happening. For not being strong enough to do what had to be done. This can be interpreted as him referring to not killing Xanxus during the cradle incident, but it can also be interpreted as him not being able to tell Xanxus the truth from the start. Not being able to deny Xanxus the chance of life away from the slums. His 'kind' action only served to put Xanxus's life down a path of the inability to choose. Almost paralleled to Tsuna in a way, who brought into the role of Vongola X against his will, Xanxus is kept away from Vongola X against his will.

Xanxus's wrath is a weakness, let me make that clear. It blinds him from the truth, from his unfortunate circumstances, from accepting that it just couldn't be. I'm not sure if he'll ever accept it, so long as he has that wrath. But, the good news is that we see ten years later into the future, his wrath is no longer an open enough of a wound for others to poke at and prod to get him to react the way they want. His response to Raisel was nothing less than a "Do you think I'm that easy?" He IS better there about it. The Vongola is STILL his family, no matter what inner conflict there is and no outsider is going to be able to rip into him half as easily as the people from inside did. As for what he's done with his pride ten years down? It's hard to say, he desires Vongola at its strongest and at that time it was the strongest under Tsuna's control. I won't pretend he doesn't still want the title, but the wound isn't fresh anymore at least by then.

OOGH. WELL, THATS IT. I'm curious to see if you guys have any interpretations about his "pride", if you agree, disagree, or if you have any interpretations of what his pride has become ten years down the line. Thank you for reading this far!!!

[moeblob]

Ananza realizing that Deacon's mom was a devoted follower of hers THEREFORE that's her son now, too! And she will dote on him and love him and never pick on him like all the other deities tend to do. That's her precious little boy who lives in another city and rarely gets to see her!

[laniidae-passerine]

catch me laughing in the club awkwardly because this season has a 19 year old blonde female companion from London, a space travelling left of law brunette queer boy who flirts heavily with the doctor, absolutely zero writers of colour and no mention of sensitivity readers…….and next season the new companion is a woman of colour. uh oh!

[familyofpaladins]

@tmaynt Day 5: Best Leo

All Leo's are good Leo's, but I'm biased toward '03 Leo because ... well, idk lol. 03 was the first series I watched and he was a fav then, and when I started to watch them all again he slipped right back into Fav spot lol. I like how he tries to be honorable and he worries about his brothers and their saftey, and he can also be a little silly he's relaxed enough and I love that about him. (He's also so whumpable)

Drew him in the Fast Forward armor because I think they look cool in it and hadn't drawn it yet (also tried to do it more in the original art style of the show, but its probably little more of a blend lol)

[alchemania]

Love Comes, Slowly. (Death Comes Faster.)

(Or, Furina falls ill, and Wanderer is confronted with the fact he cares a lot more than he realized.)

(He's got a name in this drabble too lads yippee!! He and Furina are close enough now he feels comfortable letting her call him by a name :] oh yeah and uh. This was not intended as shippy, if you were wondering, just to get that out of the way. It's platonic.)

“..ina. Furina!”

The white haired girl blinked owlishly, startled to attention. “Huh? What?”

“This is the third time I've called you,” Tetsuya frowned, eyebrows furrowed. “Are you daydreaming?” Furina flushed in answer, scratching the back of her neck.

“I've just been a little out of it today,” she muttered. That much was an understatement. She'd awaken with a fogginess in her head and a heaviness in her stomach that just hadn't gone away, and everything seemed to be processing twice as slowly, leaving her behind as the world kept moving. Was it always this warm, too??? Furina felt like she was baking, even for a place as warm as Sumeru, something felt off-

“Hey!”

Wanderer's hands grabbing her face snapped her to attention, and Furina instinctively leaned into them a little, comforted by how cool they were. In contrast, his pupils dilated a little - humans were always very warm in contrast to him, but Furina felt especially hot. “Are you sick?”

"I don't know…. maybe…?”

Tetsuya's eyes flashed with something unreadable, and he quickly took his companion by the hand, fear gripping his chest as much as he would deny it was there. “Well, we need to get you medical attention, then.”

“I'll be fine-”

“I know you will,” he asserted, “because we are GOING to get you looked at.” His tone left no room for arguments, and Furina stared at him hollowly before weakly nodding. She didn't understand why he was so vehement all of a sudden, but she didn't have much energy to be stubborn.

“Mkay…”

Tetsuya began to lead her through the city then, and she let herself be pulled along, slipping in and out of awareness as voices around her rose and fell like the tides. Very soon however, it was a struggle just to put one foot in front of the other, and Furina wobbled to a stop, a hand to her temple. Wanderer turned to her then, frowning. “What's wrong?”

“Tired,” she mumbled, barely able to keep her eyes open. “Achy, too…”

“We'll be to the clinic soon, just - we're going to get you some help,” he replied, and if she were fully coherent she'd notice his voice was slightly strained from barely concealed worry. “Come on. You can lean on me if you need to.” He seemed so far away, despite the fact he was right there, and Furina's legs buckled, too weak to support their owner's weight anymore. She crumpled to the ground, and Tetsuya froze, unable to move for a moment. And then the spell was broken, and he knelt by her side, frantic. “Furina!? Hey!! HEY!! Furina!!” With shaky hands, he took her pulse, relief flooding him when it came through strong and consistent.

It might not stay that way for long, though. You've seen this before.

Pushing that thought away, Tetsuya carefully wrapped one arm around Furina's back to support her and then scooped her up princess style - she was so small, and he noticed her cheeks were quite rosy, beads of sweat all over her brow.

..the fever's getting worse.

He had to hurry. He had to hurry.

Tetsuya swears he's never flown so fast before, everything whizzing by in a blur (and if his vision blurred for reasons other than his swiftness, no one needed to know). The moment he touches the ground again, he's racing towards one of the nurses, chest too hot and too cold all at once. “My friend collapsed,” (and it's startling, how easy it is now to call her that) “Help her. Please.” Furina was gently taken from his arms, and he lingered like a shadow as she was carefully placed in one of the beds, a cool cloth laid on her brow. “She gonna be alright?” Wanderer ventured, and his voice was so so small, expression more akin to someone centuries ago; someone who hadn't yet seen the depth of all the world's sorrows. One of the nurses turned and nodded, in reassurance.

“Her illness was caught early on, so she should be just fine. It's good you noticed quickly. She should be back to normal in a few days with rest, but you can spend the night if you'd like-”

“Absolutely.” He was not going to leave. No way in hell. Settling into a chair nearby, he tried to calm the storm in his chest, closing his eyes to clear his thoughts. The hours flew by, and eventually Wanderer sat up and gently shook Furina, to rouse her. “It's time for you to take your medicine. Come on.” Furina didn't move, and suddenly, he couldn't breathe, chills gripping him.

Oh.

Oh, god. God, please, no. Not again. Please, not again. He couldn't do this again.

“Hey,” Tetsuya called again, shaking the girl harder. “If this is a joke, it's not funny. You need to get up. They said you were going to get better, so you have to.” He'd made it in time this time, he'd - as soon as he could, he'd brought her here… so there was no reason that -

Tetsuya took Furina's hand, and to his horror, it was cold (like his) and limp. Just like - no, no no. This wasn't happening this could NOT be happening it couldn't!! “You can't just - leave me like this,” he managed, tears flooding his eyes. But she had. She had, and he didn't even get to say goodbye, and he couldn't breathe, sobs choking him. This time, he understood that death was a constant, that it would come and claim all humans eventually but-

...that didn't make it hurt any less, as much as he'd tried to deny it.

“Furina, come on, you're one of the only friends I have I - please don't leave me behind. Please - I'll do anything just wake up; wake up!”

I couldn't save you. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

He can't stop crying. He's sprung a leak and he can't fix it and everything hurts so badly and a nurse is taking his hand and pulling him away and turning his face into her chest so he won't look, and he can't stop crying and he's begging her to do something, anything, but she can't. She knows that, and he knows it, too.

Furina was gone, and he couldn't do anything. No one could.

Tetsuya jolted awake, tears streaming down his cheeks, and gasped. Stars twinkled above, and he sat up after a split second of regaining his senses. It was a dream. It was just a dream. Then, Furina- getting up in a hurry, he raced to her side and shook her frantically, and to his immense relief, she stirred. Heterochromic eyes stared blankly at him, and she blinked sleepily. “Tetsuya…?? What - oogh!” He was squeezing her in a hug before she could process what was happening, tucking his head into her shoulder. “Oh….hey hey, it's okay,” Furina mumbled, patting his back weakly in reassurance. “M’just tired..why are you crying??”

“You're okay,” he barely managed, holding her like she'd disappear if he let go. “I had a dream and - no, it..it doesn't matter. It wasn't real. You're okay.” Wanderer's voice broke then, and he sobbed, relief overwhelming. “You can't leave me yet, okay? Not yet. Please. You're the best friend I ever had.”

“I'm going to get better, don't worry. They're taking good care of me here, and I'll be out in no time and - ….”

“What? What is it? What's wrong?”

“Nothing, just.. you said, I'm your friend-”

The young man froze, taken aback, and then eased up again, slowly nodding. “.. I did say that.”

“You mean it?”

“..Wouldn't say it if I didn't.”

Furina smiled, laying her head atop Wanderer's, and blue and white locks spilled into each other. “You're my friend too, yanno. Thank you for bringing me here when you did. I might be a lot worse off otherwise.”

“You don't have to thank me. I just - . . did what anybody would do.”

“Maybe, but I still want to thank you. Gotta make sure the people you love know they're appreciated.” Tetsuya stiffened at that, blinking rapidly. Oh god, she couldn't just - say things like that, he'd cry all over again and - he had to have misheard.

“You- …what?”

“You're my friend, and I love you,” Furina reasserted, and she said it so easily, like she was talking about the weather, like she was stating a fact of the world, and it shook him to his core.

“.. I - oh,” was all he could say, hot tears making their way down his face again. “Just. Just like that?”

“Just like that,” she nodded, and the tears fell faster. He loved her too, he realized - he wasn't quite sure the exact dimensions of it but he knew he cared for her as a friend would, wanted to stand by her side and defend her with everything he had. Still, it wasn't very easy to say that, so he hoped his actions spoke for themselves. She seemed to understand though, to his relief.

“..why?” Tetsuya finally ventured, because he did not understand. There were many things he did not understand, actually. What he did not expect was for her to answer his question with a question.

“Why not?”

“Why not? Because - …I mean, you've seen how I act.”

“Doesn't make you unlovable, yanno. You're prickly, yeah, but I mean. If love is conditional, it's not love at all. You care about me - the real me, and I care about you, flaws and all. And that's not gonna change. Okay?”

“...mm,” Wanderer managed, nodding once.

Just like that. Just because he was, he was cared for. Worldrocking, that.

They stayed like that for a long time, until one of the nurses came to take care of Furina, and soon after the girl fell asleep. Tetsuya watched how the nurse gently tucked her in and brushed her damp bangs out of her forehead, expression contemplative. Humans could be selfish, they could be deceptive, they could be cowardly - but they also cared about each other and they loved each other, too- and some of them had so, so much love to give, it was daunting. Here in one moment and gone the next but they loved so much and so deeply - and for a moment, he wondered if he could, too, love the world and everything in it or - most things. He didn't think so, but these days it did seem a little brighter than it had before. Maybe that was a sign he was changing, without realizing it.

He would think more about it later. For now, he simply held Furina's hand as she slept and leaned his head on the side of the bed, heart steady. They'd said she needed a few days to recuperate, and he would be here until then. She would be okay, she would be alright. There was nothing to fear anymore, and everything would be okay. He wasn't going to lose her - not for now, anyway.

..to love, and to be loved, was wonderful, he thought.

Maybe that was living.

..he could come to thrive in it.

[theokusgallery]

The problem with my art right now is that 1) the little drawing time I have goes to @daily-basil ; 2) I have phases, and am currently deeply unmotivated ; and 3) when I do draw what this blog is currently about (Arsenic) I draw him in a gay way (because I love him deeply) and not like the unhinged person he actually is. I'm sorry I'm so soft about him right now. Yes I want Sunny and him to tear each other apart but they also need to love each other so so so much first

[softshuji]

Any men out there wanna pretend to be my bf to get my parents off my case about marriage? I am so so serious right now.

[gyroshrike]

Two of my very precious children

[rat-rosemary]

Ough vent but I'm just thinking about the friend I used to have who is a qsmp-er

Just venting under the cut

I genuinely can't belive I settled for a friendship so shitty. I'm very loud irl!! And aggressive!!! I can't belive I let them just... drag me along like that. I would accept their explanations and listen to all their rambles about the qsmp but if I even tried to take about my interests they would look at me weird.

I can't belive how much effort I put in. I have a shitty memory but I made an effort to remember their headcannons!! I drew them fanart when he was sad! God, I bended myself backwards to respect every single boundary they set (and mostly they were reasonable, but...)

It was one of the last times we talked that I fully realized they would never do any of that for me. It was at the start of the school year, after "The Truth" and before that, I had agreed I would not talk about the Dteam around them until the video dropped because the topic it was a bit of a trigger for my friend. When we talked face to face again it had dropped two months ago. But when I brought them up (after they talked about the qsmp) they looked at me weird and I realized they were never going to even attempt to match my energy. They just expected me to chance and stop liking what I liked.

(The way they hadn't even watched it or attempted to learn anything about it. It broke me a little. Just a few days their favorite CC had dropped a document talking about his abuse and I READ THAT SHIT. Even tho I didn't need to.)

Here's my advice: never put in more love then what you're being given, back out of any relationship that is hurting you and BY GOD DO NOT BEFRIEND A QSMP-ER

[significant-ace-nnoyance]

hey kiri :] so as you maybe definitely know from all the notes ive been scrolling through your blog like its my dash lol & i was wondering if you could rec any pjo fics ? romantic not romantic percabeth or whoever else im just curious as to what your favorites are + its been too long since ive read a pjo fic lol

WARNING!! I GOT A LITTLE CARRIED AWAY AND WROTE A WHOLE ANALYSIS OF WHY I DONT READ PERCABETH FICS AND THEN A WHOLE OTHER DISSERTATION ABOUT PERCABETH IN THE TAGS!!!

idk if this is beige flag or something but i dont read percabeth fics 😭 or like percy jackson fics in general? 😭

idk what it is but i feel like i just have such a specific understanding of percabeth and percy jackson characters in general that a lot of times doesn't map on exactly to the fandom versions and that's true for any media i consume but it like weirdly irritates me a lot more for pjo? i guess bc i care sm about it so it makes it a lot harder for me to search and sift through pjo fics to actually find ones that suit my tastes specifically and also any like slight changes bother me more?

or just when im reading the fic its really hard for me to feel like its coming from percy/annabeth because i think they feel like real people to me 😭 so its weird to see them in fanfiction because like. they exist in the world of the pjo books as People to me and so in fanfiction theyre just Characters that feel more like imitations of their Real Selves than fics usually feel like to me

and also rick has such a specific way of writing them both like its clear he really really understands them (bc theyre based on him and his wife awwww <3) and so even if the writing style is different i just feel disconnected from their pov in the fic. and on that note i feel like the books themselves read as fanfiction to me like MoA and HoH percabeth????????? godtier why would i literally read anything else. so usually when im craving that i read the books or i listen to seaweed brain podcast and talk aloud to myself about how i would have written things differently or added things or watch the show bc its also sort of fanfiction thats canon bc of how well it understands the characters in terms of their overall People selves instead of just a jumble of common tropes and attributes that sometimes fandom percabeth can feel like to me

i think its also because i tend to read fanfiction when i feel like there is something unfinished in the narrative or like when the source material didn't understand the characters as well as the fandom/me because i get really intrigued by hidden potential and also tragic storylines and fix-it fics and to me it's just a lot harder to see percabeth in an au??? or scenarios outside the book???? idk what it is because most of the media i enjoy is adjacent percabeth type relationships because i love the dynamic but when it comes to literal percabeth i just. can't deviate from the text unless it's seaweed brain pod or my imagination 💀

sorry that was a long rambling of me trying to pick apart my brain and figure out why i dont read percabeth fics LMAOO i do enjoy fics with other pjo relationships though, specifically non-canon ones like pipabeth or valgrace because they have a lot of potential rooted in the text and in the possibility of dynamics that make sense with the canon characters+backstories+traits but also go beyond the text bc they aren't actually part of the canon (so i can separate fandom leo from how i see canon leo if that makes sense)

anywayyyyyyyy, ive heard that percabethfeelsfandom writes good percabeth fics if you want to check her out, and ill let u know if i come across any good recs in the future :))))

x kiri

[thebirdandhersong]

personally I don't like this ish (pointing to my emotions) and if I could remove one very specific one I am struggling with at the moment, that would be SOOOOOO very convenient and helpful, Lord

[moeblob]

I have fallen down the anime sports hole and landed on Eyeshield 21 and I'm so sorry I'm adopting all these kids.

(I was actually going to like. Hold off posting my silly sports anime doodles until after commissions but no I wanna share them now. It's hard out here being me who thrives off interactions and this show is like "hey what if we gave you lots of interactions and also a secret identity for MORE interactions".)

[allylikethecat]

the new all the kings horses is so good!! my jaw dropped when he switched back to thinking of him as matthew instead of matty because thats what he called him earlier when he didn't trust him. i feel so bad for matty though 😭😭😭

AHHH thank you so much for reading! I hope it was worth the wait and I apologize again for taking so long to post it. My body was being very rude and falling apart on me. Thankfully I think I'm better now (even though I did accidentally set my alarm last night for 4:30PM instead of 4:30AM so I was rather late for my 6am riding lesson lol)

Poor Fictional!Matty is really going through it. He thought he was giving Fictional!George space because that's what HE likes / wants when he is injured/unwell and also is absolutely shitting himself that he is now expected to travel and go to all these horse shows this summer. That's not what he signed on to do, he hasn't shown properly in YEARS and he basically got ran out of the sport before. And now Fictional!George is accusing him of stealing medication?! (He didn't by the way) and also for setting him up to steal his rides on the horses (also did not do)?! Like he thought Fictional!George loved him and he was thinking maybe he loved Fictional!George as well and instead he has somehow managed to get his heart broken standing in the aisle way at his place of employment.

AHH I'm so glad you noticed that bit about calling him "Matty" vs "Matthew" it was a switch that I know people noticed but didn't comment on when it first happened and I was so excited for it to flip back to "Matthew" when things went south. If you can believe it though, the outlined version of this chapter was set to be even more devastating but then I back tracked a little and was like "Ally chill." Thank you so much for reading and for the continued support! I hope you continue to enjoy this fic and that you are having a wonderful Wednesday and a fantastic rest of your week!

❤️Ally

[bmpmp3]

how did i not know there was an amnesia: memories musical..... an entire decade ago...................................................

[taylorshope]

God my guy Eric deserves better