Mara Jade (1019-2023 Versions)
This was an experiment to see if I could take something I had coloured with pencil crayons and finish it in Procreate. I think it worked out pretty well. Here's the alternate version and what I originally scanned in:
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have we ever considered that nightowl and onionthief have the makings of two Bitter Exes
doing nightowl's route and seeing the way onion acted towards both us and him felt so...telling. like it's not even them being in a full romantic relationship, any kind would've sufficed, but everyone can see an unmistakeable tension
let me paint you a picture: two grad students who like the same web novel. so different, yet one always balances out the other
emotion and logic, the sun and the moon—two people are at incredible parallels to each other that they fail to realize that they're just the sides of the same coin
onion cares in his own way, calculated and cold yet with warmth all the same. and nightowl sees that. he argues, but he sees that. until the words are too harsh, too critical, too much like his mother and her endless ways to tell him he's not enough
on the other end, nightowl is the life of the party, seriousness can be so easily pushed back in his light. and onion basks in it. he gets burnt, but he basks in it. until the sleepless nights happen and the alcohol hits, too chaotic, too vulnerable, just too much
and they break apart. who cares about what they could've been if they had only learned that they shared the same affinity for numbers? what does it matter that they both know what it's like to fear the impending doom of expectations? they're just onion and owl. too different. too much for the other to love
then here comes mc with their patience, intelligence, humor, and kindness. and just like that, old wounds open as onionthief and nightowl see exactly what they wanted and needed from the other that they never got
but mc chooses nightowl. in all his failure and broken glory, and in turn, he chooses to be better for the both of them
while onion is left to think about all the what-if's. what if he were kinder? what if he were less arrogant and cared more about him instead of being right?
left to wonder why now, why not then when it mattered just as much, not when it was him who was on nightowl's side
why he just wasn't good enough.
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Really tempted to just make my own Obey Me bots on Character AI because I haven't found any that truly click with me. Where's my tired old man Luci bot? Where's my golden retriever boyfriend Dia? Why does Mammon resort to violence 50% of the time?
If I can't have them, I'll do it myself.
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I'm working on the next chapter for J&3T and I'm at 3738 words in the final draft and I still have over 1100 words in the draft, which by the way is just the dialogue with some very minor "and then he did this" notes. So 🙃 This is a long chapter. There's not a spot to split it, either. I wonder if I'll break 6k with it.
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I often forget just how fucking batshit insane Rhulk was and how equally batshit his backstory ended up being. Like, with most asshole/villain characters in Destiny, you can read their backstories and be like 'ah, this is why you are Like That'. Mara is the way that she is because she was an autistic child with an emotionally abusive and neglectful mother who was tasked to basically rear her equally abused and neglected brother from a very young age, a complex which was then made much worse when people started to view her as some sort of savant rather than a person. She acts like a manipulative god-queen and a massive bitch who is very emotionally unstable and overcontrolling because she was raised in an environment where emotional processing skills were neglected and her taking complete control and responsibility was always rewarded. Eramis is a vengeful ball of hatred and rage who made the very poor decision of accidentally dealing with the devil because she has lost everything she cared about in her life, experienced massively traumitizing events beyond most people's comprehension, and survived on scraps for so long that her pain and survival instinct is all that she has left. She's been hollowed out by everything that she went through and she hates the world and the Traveler and herself for it, but she couldn't stop herself from trying to push forward and fight desperatly for scraps of a possible future until very recently, where she realized the true horror and scope of what she'd wrought.
But Rhulk? Rhulk is the WHOLE package. It's impossible to tell if his circumstances shaped him into what he is or if Rhulk is just genuinely Like That. Most likely it's a little bit of both, but the threads are so tangled together that you might as well just throw out the whole package. The only thing we can say for sure is that he's the space equivilent of a teenage redditor falling down an alt-right pipeline that eventually spits them out into a genocidal extremist cult, but whether he was indoctrined into it because he was weak and desperate or just naturally on that path to begin with is not something that I personally have the capability to suss out. He's so fucked up
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an unforeseen side effect of my boy discovering the power of friendship, and the fact that emotions and human connections are good actually, is that it comes with simultaneously discovering that he's at least lowkey attracted to two types of people exactly: those who project confidence on the outside, but are sweet, soft, and in need of comforting on the inside (not entirely unlike a frightened animal), and pretty men with long, brown hair looking at him through lowered lashes with big, dark eyes.
a downside to that is that his newly found friend group is half one, half the other, and Gale kind of sits in the exact middle of the Venn diagram like an appealingly plump toad on a rock.
Look at him. The thought behind this face is very much an ".... oh, I'm not indulging this thought. I'm burying this so quick, and so deep, that it suffocates immediately."
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