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#because this shit always comes in threes
whorenerdking · 2 years
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boy oh boy do I love immediately getting shit on the second she gets home :)
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naamahdarling · 5 days
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You know what? You know what I think?
I think that if we lived as we were meant to, in larger intimate ("extended family") groups and with more shared labor and time to do it (UBI NOW) people like me would not feel so useless and burdensome because there would be people around to help and to do what neurodivergent people can't while making valuable space for the neurodivergent to do what they ARE good at.
The way we live right now, all right, the way we live right now forces units of two adults to be able to do EVERYTHING or PAY to have someone come do it for them. I have to do the housework. I have to do it! But I am having to do a million different things and most of them I am not good at. I suck at them.
I wouldn't feel like shit, okay, if I had more than one other person around who was not a child and who could do the things I can't, like do the yard and cook and do repairs and basic maintenance; and someone else to split everything else that I like but is too much for me. It would free me to do what I am good at and enjoy. Cleaning, as in the sink and toilet, the windows, the blinds. Taking out trash. Folding, hanging, and sorting laundry.
But because all the shit I can do often relies on other shit being done first, and I can't do or have trouble doing those things, the shit I can do often can't be done. And even the shit I can do, I can't do ALL of it. So I can't keep up, and things get very bad.
We aren't meant to live like this. We are not meant to live like this.
That thought hurts so much because being able to flee the birth family is integral to survival for so many people. I'm so afraid that living in larger family groups would create more opportunities for, say, queer kids to be isolated, rejected, bullied, and abused. But if we gave people enough money to survive, and stopped considering children the property of their parents with no system in place to help them escape bad situations except a system that is often just as bad, just different.
I'm aware that communes and collectives aren't all that successful and are kind of a joke. I don't mean that. I mean a fundamental shift to multigenerational families where taking in "strays" (which my family did) is also normalized so people escaping abuse into existing households was accepted, with these families centered in maybe a couple of different larger residences so not everyone has to buy and maintain their own fucking washing machine and vacuum cleaner, and so people can benefit from large group meals that yield leftovers, and so child and elder care can also be centralized.
Then disabled people and the neurodivergent and sick and injured people, and pregnant people, and grieving people, would not have to either labor through all those stressors or consign themselves to living off an unlivable pittance or being put under legal guardianship.
I'm not saying anything new. People live like this in other parts of the world and maybe it sucks and I am wrong. But I'm just really mad right now because I can either do laundry or clean the sink but not both, and I really think we could improve society somewhat by making it so I did not have to choose one without sacrificing the other.
#im feverish feeling (not a real fever just malaise that i have no other way to describe) from the IBS (which can affect you like that#)#and i don't actually want to do ANYTHING#i would have to even living with others but it would be easier#at the very least i wouldn't have had to clean the microwave earlier which is hard because my arms are like the size of a meerkat's#and i can only reach the back with my fingertips#where is my BF in all this?#WORKING FULL TIME WITH BACK PAIN#yes i AM going to want him to have to do as little as possible when he comes home#he's neurodivergent too and struggles with the same shit#it's all a mess#we are doing way better i didn't realize how deep a drain three very sick cats were#but there's still only two of us#if you are disabled physically OR MENTALLY you should at least get in-home household help once a week or so#there's places that do that but the limitations are usually severe and always rule me out#because im not single im not an elder im not a veteran and im not physically disabled#if we have to ration that sort of thing i can see how on the whole it is more caring to allocate those resources to for example elders#but the fact that i celebrate what help there is doesn't mean i don't get mad that more people can't access it#is2g if i was functional enough snd physically sound enough i would start a charity that did intervention cleaning for people like us#who have fallen behind and can't catch up but can MAINTAIN#and who helped people clean for a few months during and after an illness pregnancy trauma major loss etc. so they could stay on their feet
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butwhatifidothis · 4 months
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Still baffled that Hopes so blatantly wrote Claude as the typical Evil Vaguely Middle Eastern Man set on destroying the Good White Nation for his Evil Vaguely Middle Eastern Nation that is often seen in fantasy settings - complete with him being seen as worse than a white woman who does many of the same evil deeds he does in-verse, even by his friends (should it be the bad ending route of SB) - and so many in the fandom were so eager to gobble that shit up. INSIST that "Clearly A Racist Stereotype" is LEAGUES better than "Subversion Of A Racist Stereotype" even. Like I don't think I'll ever get over how supremely fucked that is
#clyde discourse#anti clyde#like if you ever want a reminder that CIaude plays second fiddle to the other two lords in the fandom's mind here it is this is it#Hopes couldn't be more blatant in how much it wanted CIaude to be EdeIgard's fall guy in two out of three routes#with how they play switcheroo with their character traits#CIaude becomes the imperialistic violent invader who's willing to sacrifice innocents lives for his own gain#and who doesn't give a shit to recognize information that contradicts his beliefs#and EdeIgard becomes the one who always strives for the most peaceful means to resolve conflicts#(just ignore how she's the one who started the conflict like how what everyone in Hopes does - she has her reasons don'cha know!)#like i swear to god hearing all of these people try to sell the dumbass one-note Boss Bozo that is Hopes!CIaude#as ''more interesting'' than his 3H iteration will make my brain leak out of my nose#''what if our first POC lord was a violent evil invader who tricks everyone into thinking he's a good guy''#is not the fucking win you think it is.#like y'all this is PEAK racism. this shit isn't interesting it's brazenly disrespectful#''b-but he's not a bad guy in Hopes!'' THE SHIT HE PULLED WITH SRENG MAKES HIM OBJECTIVELY EVIL LIKE OH MY GOD SHUT UP#there's shit all ''gray and nuanced'' about him needlessly worsening foreign relations WHEN HIS WHOLE SHIT#IS ABOUT BE T T E R I N G FOREIGN RELATIONS. it is clear that in Hopes he either is too braindead to realize the contradiction#or it's just not what he gives a shit about in actuality and he's just saying it is to come across better#with recent reblogs thought i'd post this draft because WOW do people just. not give a shit#''uhm calling something racist is racist ackchually 🤓'' get your dumbass outta here
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thawthebeez · 2 months
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i love reading haikyuu tiktok shipping discourse comment sections. it's so entertaining seeing so many people with such bad taste.
#it's always the exact same shit every time too#“name a ship everyone ships but you hate” and it's always kurootsukki oikage atsuhina and tsukkikage#like with the amount of times i've seen those ships mentioned in that context i'm starting to believe that NO ONE ships them actually#how is atsuhina hate so common when 2AM mac n cheese literally exists#everyone's excuse is always 1 of 3 things: “i ship kagehina” “i ship sakuatsu” or “they're just friends”#guys... i hate to be the bearer or bad news.... but all three of these things can coexist#you can ship atsuhina AND sakuatsu AND kagehina... AND atsuhina can be besties#i mean i'm out here shipping tobio with half the fucking cast#these aren't real people. it's all about what makes you the happiest at that given moment#today i ship tsukikage. yesterday i shipped kagehina. tomorrow i will probably ship yamakage. WHO GIVES A FUCK#it boggles my mind that there are people out there who won't consider any other ship because they've already set their mind on one#HAIKYUU HAS AN INSANE LINEUP. YOU CAN'T SHIP JUST ONE#i saw someone who was scared to admit they shipped suna and atsumu......... guys#it's not that serious i promise#ALSO THE TERUYAMA HATE I SAW#“they haven't even met” BOOOOOORINGGGGG BOO BOO TOMATO TOMATO#fuck it. i'm gonna start shipping kiyoko with kanoka. kanokiyo. my new otp#kanokiyoyachi. my new fave ship. 100k mutual pining hurt/comfort slowburn coming soon to an ao3 page near you#we need to release ourselves from the chains of hatred and start getting crazier with this cast#haikyuu has too much shipping potential for y'all to be shipping the same 5 ships#lets get poly with it. shall we?#THE KAGEHINATSUKKIYAMA GRIND STARTS NOW💪#ASADAISUGA GANG WE RIDE AT DAWN🗣️#ATSUHINAKAGE AND/OR ATSUOIKAGE BRETHEREN WE DEPART AT HIGH NOON🔥#FUKUYAKUKUROKEN SHIPPERS OUR TIME IS NOW🦞#sigh.......... you guys get it#volleyball guys
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femmeroi · 10 months
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My stinky guys
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mediumsizedpidegon · 2 years
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Imagine: you are Idril and you hate your cousin viscerally and this hate is later justified in every way possible. He is a monster and a traitor and as unlike your belovéd aunt as possible. And he dies, and he does not come to the Halls of Mandos and does not reembody. Perhaps you are horrible for thinking this: but you are glad. You are glad he is gone and unable to return. He was a nightmare who crawled into your stainless city and tore it down when it was least expected. He made your father love him, and then he betrayed him, and you will never forgive nor forget it. Now there is no way he can hurt you, your husband, your son, your people– and there is no one he can betray.
and then your aunt reembodies.
Your aunt reembodies and yes, she died for that monster, but she was blameless for she was forced to marry evil and birth evil and love evil. But now she's reborn without those cobwebs of enchantment and you are prepared for her grief and rage over having been controlled. She will not be the same. But she will be back, at long last.
Except. she comes back and none of these things happen.
She doesn't care that her son is evil and treacherous, more his father's son than hers. She doesn't care. She grieves for your city and in the next breath she wishes for her son's return. So you love your aunt and your aunt loves the creature of your nightmares– the betrayer that nearly killed your son and brought your home to ruin. So you love your aunt but she does not listen when you tell her to let her son go because she never saw–
and so your aunt leaves. and it feels like betrayal. like your cousin ruining your family further from beyond the grave.
she still visits, but no one in the family knows where she lives. She is strange– both the steely eyed aunt you remember and yet sometimes she looks like she has never seen you before. you try to break the enchantment that she must be under to keep looking for your Marred cousin, but there is nothing for you to find. all your trying does is send her into a rage the likes you have only seen once before: when she dragged your father away from following your mother in death for your sake.
you love your aunt, and most days, you are sure your aunt loves you.
but you cannot understand her, and in this you have lost her as surely as when she died.
#tolkien#the silmarillion#aredhel#idril celebrindal#maeglin#our long heritage of heresy#in the heresy verse things are so so complicated between aredhel and idril because neither of their feelings about maeglin are wrong exactl#but maeglin being GONE– nowhere in Arda– is really the straw that breaks the camel's back for aredhel#and all idril is seeing is the maeglin issue which is a significant part of it but there's other shit in there as well on aredhel's end!!#my favorite dynamic for aredhel amongst the nolofinwions is that they love her but on a fundamental level they do not understand her#and she loves them back. so she forgives them for it (mostly) and says nothing of it. she leaves when it gets too much#but she always comes back#except reembodied aredhel has had an entire history created about what happened to her after she left gondolin WITHOUT HER INPUT#and BOY did they get it WRONG#and it is SUFFOCATING#here lies my three defining traits for aredhel: 1) she has been mistranslated her entire life from the very first time her mother held her#and said Irissë meant “Desired Lady” instead “Lady of Desire”/“Lady who Desires”#2) aredhel has little forgiveness and little pity but for those she cares about she will let (minor) mistakes go#(no matter how these little things build up and rot and fester)#and 3) aredhel built the enchantments that hid Gondolin and her craft is threefold: illusions and hunting and always. always. freedom.#apparently no one in her family can understand this. even after thousands of years and her DEATH#and unfortunately for everyone else reembodied aredhel reaches her limit and finally finally snaps#and this looks like it has come out of NOWHERE to the nolofinwions#shit's messy!#<- should be the slogan of Aman#my posts
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kerorowhump · 9 months
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god the writing in KG is just impeccable and it does NOT get the credit it deserves because i can put any two characters from the main 5 together in a pair and they'll have some interesting contrasts and points in common that they don't have with the others
#txt#dororo and kururu#dororo and giroro#dororo and tamama#were the three i was rotating in my brain#dororo n kururu: the two most left behind. arguably the smartest so they get along. one's order/calm the other chaos. both very observant.#also selfless vs selfish#dororo n giroro: ive already said but. peace vs invasion. earth vs keron. anger vs sadness. expresses emotions vs represses them. both loyal#and faithful. both dedicated to their cause. also childhood friends#additionally. the way they feel about keroro is a foil. dororo looks up to him but a tiny part of him resents him. giroro is always -#shit talking him but actually deeply respects him#dororo and tamama: similarly. they are very much foils esp about keroro. ive mentioned this previously. present tamama is like past dororo#with being rich and looking up to keroro. they're both very emotional and they both crave keroro's undivided attention#but tamama stands up for himself and is very loud and secure whereas dororo is insecure and doubts himself#ok I'll try to do more pairings (/p) mm#keroro and kururu well theyre constantly paired bc of how much they have in common. scheming and selfish. secret keron stuff.#plus keroro literally runs to him to ask for help when natsumi beats him or like IN GENERAL.#also again. keroro is supposed to come up with plans but struggles. kururu is supposed to be chaos oriented but he's always fixing messes#tamama and kururu is another fun one because one's perception is ''the sweet one'' and the other is ''the sinister one''#tamama may look dumb at times but hes actually bright. kururu is deeply intelligent but often gets lost in silliness#they both have a dark side#this is fun but theres many combinations for 5 members so im not gonna be here all day writing abt what they all have in common and contrast#but it's so fun to think abt bc the show is actually well written they all have lil tidbits that make their relationships (/p) unique#i didnt even get into keroro much bc god knows i could not stop talking there#this subject is worth making a whole post abt ... maybe one day#musing
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happyk44 · 1 month
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It's kinda funny because w/ my Zeus kid OC (who I've been thinking about renaming as Araceli, 'cause it means altar of the sky, apparently, which I like 'cause sky-themed-ish but also like. A little bit I wanted something that meant cloud the way Coral's name means... Coral) the implication is that she takes after her father to an almost mirroring degree because I developed her and my other PJO OCs (who also all got retconned into an OG work) at the same time I was playing around with my ideas on the Big Six, and the gist at the time was supposed to show how the Big Six could've turned out if they weren't so weird.
So the dynamics of the friendship was supposed to be very similar to the dynamics of Big Six's relationship to each other (e.g. Mary having a major crush on Hera's "representative" but also being attracted to literally every other person that walked by, Nico being the soberminded big brother figure, etc). It's also one of the reasons Mary would get angry whenever someone would compare to her dad, because similarly I think Zeus would get angry if someone compared him to his dad.
And then eventually as I got older and the daydream moved around with whatever obsession I had at the time, the characters and general storyline began to change away from that in some ways but core features sort of stayed and so I ended up with a version of Zeus that ignores his daughter's pleas for help because he loves her but her pain hurts him because he can't do anything about it and it's his fault she's suffering.
She got this intensity from him, it's ingrained into the way it's ingrained in him. But he was able to rebuild the world according to his own needs and wants and beliefs. And she can't really do that. So he doesn't have any advice he can give her when she's on her knees begging for help with all the noise and pain in her head. He doesn't know what to do! It's like he can just go and rip it out of her.
But she's suffering because she's different and she's weird and she knows it and she knows it's his fault which is why she's asking but he just doesn't know and he can't handle watching her suffering and listening to her cry when there is no helpful answer to give her because "I don't know" isn't going to fix it.
He's supposed to fix things, he's supposed to have the answers. He's king of the world, by damn! He's a problem solver. He supposed to have a solution, and a million backup solutions. But he doesn't! There's nothing he can do to make the noise stop because truth be told, the noise never really stopped for him! It just got easier and quieter. So he turns away from her because he loves her and he's failing her and he can't handle that.
But also in the same breath, I think he recognizes similar aspects of himself in Jason, who isn't even asking for help, and fucking despises him for it, lol.
✨ Girl Dad ✨
#could be a jupiter vs zeus thing too#zeus is more in touch with his emotions so he's able to love his kids and empathize with their pain#but jupiter eschews emotion to focus fully on logic and rationale and winds up being disgusted by anything that shows he's flawed#like i think zeus definitely hates any implication that he's flawed#but in this case it's more like while his inability to stop his daughter's suffering makes him feel flawed#his love for his daughter takes precedence so he doesn't hate her for it. he just hates himself for not being able to fix it.#but jupiter doesn't really have that affection for jason because maybe he just lacks affection im general#so jason showcasing any behaviour that may indicate an inherent flaw in jupiter is seen as despicable#and so jason and any internal/external pain he may experience because of this flaw isn't viewed favourably#it could also be that jason is more willing to call him on his shit where mary/araceli was just like bitch i hate you so much please kill m#like she definitely doesn't agree with all her dad's actions but she kind of gets where he's coming from with certain things#where i don't think jason is able to view that in other people either#like all three of them view things in a very black and white autistic sort of way#but jason lacks the cognitive empathy to understand why a person may feel or behave a certain way#i love when i go insane in the tags#thats fun#anyway#happy talks about his stories#happy talks pjo#zeus (pjo)#jason grace#i will come up with a tag for my zeus girl at some point#also for araceli the original character has always been seen as hispanic/latino which is why i wanted a name that made that obvious#so if anyone has any hispanic/latino sky-themed names they'd like to share lemme know because the baby name websites were very short
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thanatos-nightshade · 10 months
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Im so sorry i played Our Life: beginnings and always and not only has it sucker punched me with bittersweet feelings of life and change and relationships but its also thrown me into brain rot hell of it. Im sorry if ocean boy cove floods your feed get it? Its a pun
#t-n talks#personal#our life: beginnings & always#olba#i love him so much i love them all so much i need to replay with all the dlcs and get shiloh to come to our wedding#because i named a fosh after him in like step 2 or 3 and i missed him and i dont care if he lied to us im sorry shiloh#come baaack#but also baxter what happened baxter we missed you so much youre important to us youre important to meeeeeee#everyones my friend now how do i have jeremy at my wedding but not shiloh? jeremy you should have made shiloh suffer tooooo#im so glad i got jeremy though god i felt for him so bad like genuinely what was wrong while he was mean to us#i just wanted to be nice and friends but also dont be mean to cove and im so glad hes mellowed out a bit hes really a good kid sometimes#i love them all so much dereeeekkkkk hes such a good friend god hes SUCH A GOOD FRIEND im screaming#and baxter baxter baxter baxter sometimes i dont think hes in love with us but in love with our relationship but also like#i wouldnt mind us three being closer because youre fucking important to me baxter just like jeremy#youre all part of this found family gay as shit now if i can be adopted then that means i can adopt you too!!!#god but seriously? like i expected to cry because of relationship love drama at first not because i was having#complicated feelings about being adopted and my relatiinship with my sister god ive never had an older sister really#and my siblings and i arent super close but im adopted and i dont think ive ever wanted something more than this family#this game man i just god my fiance was like “i dont think this game was meant to be so deep/intense” but like its a visual novel#novels are meant to invoke feelings and thoughts and discussion and reflection at least thats what i believe every story has a purpose#its up to us to figure out what its purpose is maybe not in general but to us what can we take away from it and god#it makes me want to hold onto my friendships tightly and reach out to everyone i knew/know#i have too many tags on here because of brain rot but i love this game and im so excited for the next one and i would love to download#like my log of the entire game so that i can recap everything at like my leisure#just cause im not gonna remember all my choices and stuff
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freckleslikestars · 9 months
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genuinely do not get the point of replying to someone's gifset with 'I hate these characters. I stopped watching after they were introduced.' sorry you feel that way, but I don't actually give a shit. now get off my fucking post.
#do people just...not remember the phrase 'if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all?' because like...#now I just feel like shit.#and like...its happened three or four times in the past couple of months. where people will leave a reply on one of my gifsets that's not#negative towards the gifset itself its negative about the character or the episode or the series or the actor#and it's like...well okay you're allowed to not like it but that doesn't mean I'm not allowed to like it yknow? but also I worked hard on i#and whilst you're not directly being negative about the work I put in#you are saying its less valid because it's characters that you don't like#it's also always been hidden blogs#which means that I get the email notification of the reply but I can't actually go to the blog itself and block them to stop it happening#I try not to let it get to me but honestly I'm really fucking tired of the userbase of this site right now#it's the constant stream of 'we've got to reblog gifmakers and artists otherwise they'll stop posting' posts being reblogged and then#gifsets that have a reblog to like ratio of 1:4#and it's been getting bad for the past five years or so#but now its getting to a point where it does really fucking bother me#because what the fuck is the fucking point#and like...I get it. I'm not great at reblogging every single gifset I see. Not everything I like is something I'm interested in.#but there comes a point where you start thinking... where are all these people that like this gifset but not enough to reblog it coming fro
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dismalzelenka · 10 months
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#today i had a pianist during a rehearsal go “wow your voice you just have so much natural talent i mean some people really work for years—”#and i kinda snapped#and i was polite but also i unloaded the entire story of the last thirteen years in the cosmic joke that is my life#this lady got thirteen years of trauma in a twenty minute speed run#she Learned Things today about existential despair and the societal clusterfuck that is the Trans Experience#and how that intersects in the classical singing world in an incredibly challenging and fucked up way#and how i went from scooting under the door into a voice program with seven lessons under me#and then three years later proceeded to fling myself into a testosterone fueled vocal puberty in the midst of a professional singing degree#and lost the respect and support of most of the vocal and choir faculty because everyone thought i was committing professional suicide#if it werent for my own voice teacher (who at some point became the mother figure I'd never had) keeping me afloat i would not be here#i have c-ptsd from the shit i went through in the choir department#i had to drop out of school for a semester because my body just folded under the stress#i started getting migraines severe enough i was hospitalized twice with stroke-like symptoms#two weeks ago i had a former teacher from the early days deadname me in front of our colleagues#she tried to play it off as no big deal and it just reminded me no matter how successful i become in this field#no matter how much work i put in to overcome my past#its always going to come back and find me through people who refuse to learn respect#and somehow! im still here! im making a living in the field i trained for#how many people in my generation in the arts degree sector can say that?? by some metrics i am thriving but jesus goddamn#i clawed and fought and bit and dragged myself to where i am right now and had to find my voice TWICE and the worst part is#she meant well#the pianist i mean#and i was polite when i told my story but it was so important to me that she understood#no amount of talent would have gotten me here without sleepless nights and long hours and blood and sweat and tears and you know what#maybe i am a better person for it but dont compliment me by implying i have some inherent gift from a god i dont even believe in#dont tell me your god put me in this place to teach other people compassion#i didnt brush the door of death as many times as i did for the sake of someone else's enlightenment#its been a long 13 years. hell its been a long 2023. in the last eleven months ive had a fundamental upheaval#of everything i thought i knew and understood about myself#so yea im standing at the gate to hell looking the devil in the eye. try me bitch. ive endured worse.
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I still very loathe the Media Trope of ‘’cold genius man doesn’t feel emotions and never has relationships... UNTIL.. one random relatively bland Preddy Woman comes along and warps his entire personality and ability to think, his heart has grown and his seeming asexuality has evaporated, he is now Normal :)” or whatever like... AS a walking generic hermit archetype myself.. we would NOT act like that .... just let people be detached weirdos in peace, you cowards .. OR, don’t bother to write one in the first place if you find us too boring to exist realistically in our natural state lol.. pathetic 
#the only exception to this is its okay if he develops some pesudo-romantic psychologial fixation on one of his long suffering male sidekicks#or assistants or whatever (since this character acrhetype ALWAYS has some sort of like Straight Man Every Man helper to follow#him around and be an audience stand in. sometimes multiple like a whole team of assistants. sometimes just one etc.)#like a strange not-entirely-romance-but-mutualy-unhealthy-comedic-codependence w someone you worked w 25+ yrs COULD be in character. sure.#ASIDE from that one exception though..... just keep them aromantic and asexual.. why would someone who has been that way for their#entire fucking life suddenly be like ''well I've known this woman three weeks but she's really hot! whoops!''#''guess I'm going to act completely out of character! sometimes booba so booby it fundametally alters the dna of me personality. you know ho#w it is'' .. like shut up.. explode#It's not that I project personally onto these characters (writers are bad at writing them and they're generally annoying as shit) BUT just#like... coming FROM the perspective OF a cold detached ''robot'' seeming hermit freak.. like textbook scholar wizard man locked#away in a tower somewhere type personality... You just watch shows sometimes and you can SEE that the writers are trying to write#the Character Archetype that is your actual realworld personality and you're just like 'we do NOT fucking act like that!!!' lol#you know ? like .. i don't actually care about the characters themselves but more just.. the principle of the thing. staying true to what#has been set up. You can't be like ''oh yeah this is your typical cold detached hermit weirdo with zero interest in human relationships for#the most part blah blah blah'' and then 5 minutes later be like ''WAIT GUYS!! LOOK! they're still NORMAL! look they love booba#too!!! haha hashtag Relatable!!'' .. what have you done to him.. you've massacred the archtype.. cowardly fool#Also I'm referencing them as male because this character archtetype is usually male but the same thing can apply for other gendered versions#of the archetype. it's ALWAYS annoying. no matter what it is lol. GOD AND IT'S even worse when they're supposed to be like hundreds or thous#ands of years old like.. some sort of supernatural being who's ''above it all'' because they've seen the world's cycles for so long#and blah blah and then it's like ''omg.. suddenly into romance.. for some reason all 900 years of my life nobody has ever been good#enough but YOU.. random ass person who I met 30 minutes ago and are completely average in every way or maybe you have like one#special power or are smart or something but apparently somehow I've lived 900 years without ever meeting a single other smart person#or whatever but WOW.. you... instant soulamtes.. I am no longer aromantic and asexual. I am also no longer smart.''#at least if it's a human with a normal lifespan you can be like 'well they were only 30. maybe they genuinely did just have their first#sexul awakening' or something but.. you're telling me like.. 900 years??? 1000 years?? and NOW they're like 'whooa!!' lol#Which obviously all aroace people are different.. all people with autism or schizoid pd or any other mental illnesses that can sometimes#lend people towards that type of 'weird hermit' archetype are all different. plenty of these people WILL have relationships and sex and desi#re those things. but it's like.. if you are OBVIOUSLY  setting out to write that one VERY specific archetype within the broader archetype#then GO ALL THE WAY!! you cant have someone be like HALF-detached partial-hemrit sometimes-maybe-genuis or whatever#or I guess you can but like. it should be that way from the beginning. it's the random sudden shift in personality thats jarring
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nickbutnodick · 4 months
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my kryptonite is my ironically short attention span and fear of failure
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running-in-the-dark · 8 months
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oh - when my nephew was here he also told me that my mother said medication doesn't have any effect on hunger.
hahaha that's so fucking funny, I'm gonna scream :)
(was just reminded of this because I feel like I'm starving. because of my new meds. when without them... I don't really feel hungry until many hours after I should have eaten.)
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widevibratobitch · 1 year
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#coming to tumblr for the first time in three days just to bitch because i feel like shit <333#sorry if i havent responded to your message i will as soon as i get a grip but rn im just too busy#both with uni and with crying because a friend said a mean thing to me lol#and because im tired of this new friendship already and tired of hearing this girl talking how great she is lol#am i jealous? fuck yeah i am.#and it's not like she's mean like straight up. cause like.#when i say im really considering quitting and dropping out she tries to encourage me ig#but then she follows it up with 'ofc *I* never had a problem with this and that because it always just came naturally to me teehee#but yknow. dont give up uwu'#and she keeps sending me recordings of her singing to tell her how good she is and always tells me how her teacher praises her#and like. its cool. like i get it that its a nice feeling when you do something well and wanna share that joy with a friend#but idk. i just think its kinda. well not mean but a litt#*a little tone deaf? when ive just been telling her that im in a Bad Place rn and my voice isnt working as it should#and my pianist is bullying me and i end up crying on almost every lesson#and she hits me with a 'damn that sucks fuck that pianist dont give up tho <3#now do you wanna listen to me sing bel raggio lusinghier like a pro and my professor telling me i am sublime?'#also when i tell her that im sorry that im not very social and i just cannot stay and chat cause im having a horrible day today#and really dont feel well and she's like 'yeah i havent noticed anything you're always like that... *side eye*' in a way that suggests#im a horrible friend cause im not talking with her enough and yet again im disappointing her (aint that familiar lol)#i just. idk. the last two-three weeks have been absolutely horrible to me. i cant get out of bed i havent done a single colorful make up#in so long ive basically forgotten how to do that. and i loved doing fun make up looks that make people tell me i look like a clown.#but i just dont have the energy to do anything more than put on a random tshirt and spray dry shampoo on my unwashed hair#i dont even wear my rings anymore. ive stopped caring about being the pinkest slayest queerest looking bitch in the room cause i just. cant#and even some casual friend of mine asked me yesterday if im okay cause they can see something is Not Right. but SHE not only doesnt notice#anything. i have a feeling she feels like im disappoing and neglecting her because i cant be bothered to text with her 24/7#like idk. maybe its just my imagination but i barely even feel like an actual person. more like just a homunculus made to trail after her#and listen to her bragging about how pretty/talented/unbothered she is#oh and also for her to keep dissing m/ozart lol like idk why it hurts me so bad but then ig its not that unusual to feel shitty#when someone keeps talking shit about something you really love and are passionate about and making you feel like an idiot#because you like it. because its stupid and boring and you're a simpleton for enjoying it instead of liking sth more 'ambitious'
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they're in love your honor
#i hadn't thought of Peri as the domestic type but you know what? after the past few years he's had he probably does settle down a bit#he gets tired of Doing Things yknow?#and baldur's gate's harpers probably werent the only ones targeted by the cult so he would have plenty of rebuilding to do in waterdeep#went from having the Trauma Zoomies to refusing to travel anywhere further than a tenday away in the span of three years#he probably starts wandering again after a bit though#sometimes convincing Gale to come with him sometimes not#he gets Gale to come with him to Eberron one (1) time#in my head (because i can do what i want) the whole 'wizards live a long-ass time sometimes' thing happens to both of them#(peri's. less pleased about this than gale is when they figure out what's going on)#so they've got plenty of time to get into trouble#also idk if the age extension thing is meant to always be a thing wizards do on-purpose but in my mind it's not always#sometimes the weave just Decides and there's not much you can do about it#(mystra is also upset that her ex and her ex-champion who's VERY loud about her being an asshole are sticking around somehow)#(she might be intrinsically tied to the weave but 1. it's a phenomena all on its own and 2. there are other deities of magic in faerun)#(she may be in charge so killing her messes shit up but it doesn't make sense that she's. like. the only conduit? if that makes sense?)#(so her being around makes the weave accessible to mortals but someone would eventually take her place if she died like she did with Mystral#(and the weave is intrinsic to faerun so it will always regenerate when lost. because how are you supposed to create a new god...#(...of arcane magic if the weave is completely destroyed?)#(i'm fully talking out of my ass btw)#(idk what the official wotc answer to this is and i dont care. weave is like a force of nature and cannot be fully controlled b/c I Said So)#bg3#baldurs gate 3#gale of waterdeep#gale dekarios#bg3 tav#peregrine faulkner#gale x tav#bg3 fanart#my art#wizbands
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