#because yknow a play is a type of funeral and all that

[autisticempathydaemon]

Hello hello! I would love a matchup!

What song are you fixated on at the moment? What lyric or verse, and why? - Playing with Bad Luck by Set it Off ... Its a kinda day/ its a kinda week/ Its a kinda year/ When you cut and paste/ When you're on your knees/ When you're out of tears (damn)/ examine every scar. i'm auditing my karma/ something just ain't adding up/ it's close, but no cigar/ i'm dancing in the dark cause/ every light keeps shutting off/ i'm playing with bad luck

What is your Enneagram type? - I'm an 8w7! also an ISFJ personality type

Tell me about your childhood imaginary friend.- I created a lot of stories and characters as a kid, most of them were knights or huge creatures

What is your go-to way to fall asleep? - I usually have a cup of tea and sit with my dog. On nights where I can't get my brain to shut up I'll play audiobooks/redacted sleep aid lol

What is your favorite of Redacted’s audios, and why? - Okay but something about the comfort/ reverse comfort audios hit a place in my heart I didn't think was in me. Like, I get why I like the healing audio cause the listener is getting doted on, and that's cute. (No matter how many times I listen to Gavin's comfort audios I will sob every time) But when I listen to a reverse comfort, it makes me love a character even more. Like the fact that they trust their listener (i.e., David breaking down, Gavin giving bits and pieces of his past to freelancer/ breaking down in the inversion, Milo injured, etc), makes my heart swell.

What Redacted boy holds no appeal to you, and why? Like, not the one you hate but the one who you don’t get the hype for. (I won’t judge, I promise.) - Okay, the character is made for the audience to not really like them, but Marcus (Project Meridian) sets a wave of anger in me I could never begin to explain like the manipulation tactics and gaslighting make me want to murder someone, BUT SOMEHOW IM LIKE "Oh I like Vega" which don't get me wrong also hate Vega at times but the way he acts with warden makes me love him

Tell me about that one book/movie/TV show you know all the words to. - does Redacted count "just gotta say ding dong the witch is dead fucking goes off and you better promise to play that at my funeral ALSO unrelated macho man unironically fucking goes off AND YOU KNOW WHAT actually IT IS related because you absolutely need to promise to play that at my funeral too back to back Macho man immediately followed by ding dong the witch is dead what do you say?" .... don't ask BUT IF NOT I also know pirates of the caribbean, the Grinch (live action), Mitchells vs the machines, Monty Python and the holy grail, too name a few

Which Redacted boy are you platonically attracted to? Like- forget dating, which dude do you want to be your best friend? - OH MY GOD CAN VINCENT BE MY BESTIE (obvi also love ash and guy but let me explain) Okay vincent is one of those guys who's sarcasm is top notch like homie could roast anyone without a second to waste. Also I feel like I could literally sit in silence with Vincent and it not feel awkward yknow

Do you have a go-to thing you ramble about when you’re tired, and if so, what is it? (For example, my boyfriend knows I’m ready to sleep when I start talking about space.) okay, I will ramble about history like there is no tomorrow. for example, did you know that Constantine the Great considered himself such a great Christian that he called himself the "13th Apostle" on his tomb (which very few people have been able to see because you have to be closely enough related to him to enter) he didn't write his name on his coffin instead it says 13th apostle also he put the remains of the other apostles in his tomb because "he deserved it" ......anywayssss

Tell me your go-to gas station and drink combo. - flaming hot Cheetos and a sprite reset my life in a way that makes me want to achieve my dreams

Tell me about your favorite playlist at the moment. - The Balance, its so beautifully made, starting with a close experience to death, to cult antics, to AN UNEXPECTED CROSSOVER. its just made sooooooooooooo well

What’s your guilty pleasure in media, and why? - Okay cringy middle school emo/ animatic music from my past is engrained into my brain

And whatever else you think tells me about who you are! - i'm 5'2 and the youngest of a big family. I'm an artist and currently working on an illustration degree. I love love love voice acting. Thats about it! THANKS

You gave me so much to work with here, and yet it was a challenge. Like, I could have gone in so many directions. I think you could work so well with so many of the boys, but ultimately, it had to be Asher.

Your submission gives me the vibe of someone who’s loyal, unique, and confident, who knows what they’re about and always has something interesting to say even if you’re not particularly extroverted. I like the idea of pairing Asher with you because he would perfectly uplift you, pulling you out of your shell and giving you the stage to shine while also knowing when to take the reins and support you, in your education, social situations, whenever.

Your life would be so genuinely fun together- not just because Asher’s so fun as a dude but because y’all have so much in common. You two would have the same taste in music (that FOB fan boy) and pop culture. You’d be the tea drinker to his Monster Energy vibes, the perfect balance in the house to feed his bubbly nature but also ground him. Also, Asher should totally have a dog he can play with, so it’s even more perfect.

Song:

If you don't swim, you'll drown/ But don't move, honey/ You look so perfect standing there/ In my American Apparel underwear/ And I know now, that I'm so down/ Your lipstick stain is a work of arts I got your name tattooed in an arrow heart/ And I know now, that I'm so down

5SOS seems like just the sort of group y’all and Asher would like now, the group that was pop-punk adjacent and has evolved with its audience. This track in particular is a classic, and I can see Asher totally jamming out to this in the car, air-guitaring at red lights, and demanding applause from you when he’s done (which you’d give because he’s just that cute).

Runner-Ups:

Like I said, there were so many boys that could have been matched with you, so there were also too many options for runner-ups! I settled on Anton because he’d be so cute with a tea-drinking dog lover. He deserves a puppy and a partner who makes them a pot to share. I also like you with Guy because an artist and writer couple is just too cute to pass up.

note: thank you for waiting 🖤

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

[finelythreadedsky]

very, very sexy to use the opening number of a musical to structure the entire show as a flashback

[versadies]

helloooo Can I request a poly headcanons for Xiao and Zhongli? Thank you so much!!!

penpal: omg that’s a unique dynamic, i love it. hope you enjoy this headcanon! (sorry if it’s short 😔🙏)

sypnosis: what it’s like to be in a poly relationship with zhongli and xiao

warning/s: angst if you squint, not proof-read, spoilers on archon quest

holy crap girl you got a damn jackpot.

you probably have the biggest patience because it will take a long time for xiao and zhongli to even realize their feelings.

listen, these two will treat you so well and make sure you’re happy. your relationship is the kind of relationship that everyone wants but can’t have.

i can’t really see xiao and zhongli rivaling but they try to work out on how they’ll make this relationship work (with your help ofc)

the relationship needs to be kept a secret since xiao is a yaksha and zhongli is rex lapis, so the three of you can’t hang out together in the harbor or anywhere that has a lot of people around.

sometimes xiao would sneak in to liyue harbor and to your home just to see you— but your meeting place is always the inn.

verr goldet is one of the people who are aware of your relationship and she makes sure no one can bother y’all or see you together.

the three of you would take a stroll around the area of wangshu inn at night (after xiao and zhongli made sure that there won’t be any monsters to disturb yall’s night) and enjoy the peaceful atmosphere.

dates with them are very fun and open.

if you and zhongli are available for the whole day, the three of you would go to the adeptus mountains and have a picnic there to watch the beautiful view of the geo nation.

sometimes you’d also have your date on mt. tianheng where you can see the whole harbor or in wangshu inn as per usual.

zhongli would def feed you lots of seafoods whenever his food has it (he hates it) and xiao will make sure the consultant-retired-god doesn’t feed you too much to the point when it makes you hate seafood as well.

zhongli and xiao would walk you home by the end of your date. they’ll swoon if you give them a goodbye kiss before leaving!

there were some days when you are only with one of them for the day since the other is busy.

if xiao is busy having to do something regarding to some threat to liyue, you’d be with zhongli.

with you and zhongli, the both of you would be in liyue harbor hanging out by having lunch in wanmin restaurant, shop around the marketplace (pls prevent zhongli from emptying his wallet), stroll around the town, and etc.

if zhongli is ever busy with his job in the wangsheng funeral parlor, you’re with xiao. often, the both of you would just stay by the top floor and enjoy the calming breeze. you’d also talk about your day or a random topic while xiao listens and comments when he wants to.

if you’re an adventurer, xiao will follow you (discreetly) depending on how dangerous the commissions are. he and zhongli have a share of knowing death and they both want you to never be involved with it.

if you try to tell xiao about your suspicions of him following you, he’ll probably deny it and say he’s “too busy protecting liyue and it’s probably your imagination.”

whenever you got bad injuries to the point where you need first aid, zhongli will happily nurse you while xiao lightly scolds you about being more careful.

since it’s their first time having a relationship, you’d mostly have to be the one to establish affection first.

it will take months or maybe a year for them to get used to these affections. once they’re used to it, they’ll start giving you lots of affection!

they’re the type of people to give you love through action and not words.

when it comes to their favorite way of showing affection, xiao is usually the one who likes to hold your hand while zhongli likes to give you kisses, mainly on the forehead.

when you are sad, they’ll try to find ways to make you happy. whether it’d be listening to you venting while cuddling, a break from what makes you sad (depending on the cause), give you gifts, or take you to your favorite place.

f in chat for the people who made you cry or sad, they’re gonna deal with the wrath of two powerful immortal (and mortal since zhongli is yknow...)

they’ll be very protective over you when it comes to the fatui— especially if childe is around. zhongli may have interacted with the fatui but he does not want you to be involved with them. which puts another reason why the three of you often hang out in the wangshu inn.

xiao will literally obliterate childe if he ever touches you (even though it’s just a high five or a friendly hug) if it weren’t for zhongli holding him back lmfao

as i mentioned in my liyue headcanon, fights with them are rare. however when there is a fight, it’s serious.

i can’t say what most of your fights are about since all of them are different but when you all fight, you try to solve it.

if they somehow made you walk out from them after a fight, they’ll apologize the next day with all of your favorite foods, trinkets, flowers, or maybe something that makes you forgive them.

your most memorable moment of them is your first lantern rite festival when you three watch the lanterns together by the mountain near the harbor.

their most memorable moment of you is your first date when you went to one of the mountains and have a picnic with them.

sometimes if you can’t sleep, you’d either visit zhongli and xiao— mostly zhongli since xiao is in wangshu inn. zhongli would give you tea to help you sleep and let you sleep with him.

if you’re up for late night talks, expect zhongli to tell you all of the stories he knows that he thinks that are interesting to you. his voice often lulls you to sleep.

if xiao is in your home, he’ll either listen to your rants or play his flute to you to lull you to sleep. if you’re okay with it, he’s willing to give you cuddles.

if there’s one thing zhongli and xiao worries most, it’s your mortality.

zhongli may be mortal now so it’s xiao who’s gonna have that burden most.

xiao has that vibe that he isn’t the type for a poly relationship when zhongli suggested but now that he experienced it, he’s scared of you and zhongli passing away.

i think he’ll know that zhongli is rex lapis (either from his suspicions or it was an accidental discovery) so that makes him even more worried on losing the both of you.

xiao would most likely go for a breakup just to save all of you from this worry— but thinking of having to avoid you just makes him wanna barf.

for now, when all is well and liyue is peaceful at the moment— xiao will just hold on to this relationship that he would consider as a sweet dream.

[miphastudies]

17 Questions for 17 People

Thanks @its-bianca​ for tagging me in this! Sorry it’s taken so long, we’re in a third lockdown and I’m pretty sure my body thinks that time no longer exists.

Nicknames: Kim, Kimbo, Kimberlim, Kimothy, Kimberley Dibberley (For some reason my family thought that a nickname based off Cat’s other personality from Red Dwarf, Dwayne Dibberley, was funny and it’s stuck with me my whole life), as well as KIIII (shouted by my sister when she was about 2 and couldn’t pronounce my name, my best friend now yells it when she wants my attention) and Kim-Kim by my Dad who refuses to believe I’ve grown up (beats Kimberley Dibberley any day) 

Height: 5'9 - towering over most men is fun, I suggest it to all of you, I’d rather round it up to six foot, but I probs stopped growing at 20.

Hogwarts House: Well I got Gryffindor when I first went on that site, but being my goth self I had to take the test again until I got Slytherin - as far as I remember I had unicorn hair (or horn?) or something of the like in my wand but I’m not gonna fuel JK’s anti-trans pockets by visiting Pottermore ever again. 

Last thing I googled: The soundtrack for Futurama’s Luck of the Fryrish episode, I knew Simple Minds were on it but I could’ve sworn Baker Street by Gerry Rafferty was on it, but apparently not. I spent a good half hour trying to sing it into google with their new song-analysis thing to no avail, so I ended up siphoning through all the songs Lisa Simpson has ever played on her Sax to find out what it was (I should be doing my dissertation proposal but my tutors haven’t got back to me yet so what can ye do).

Song stuck in my head: yknow wha I’m just gonna list the songs that have been stuck in my head so far today because it’s too many to be just one as I keep cycling through them (also gonna link them so you can see how garbo weird my music taste is)

Run - Joji Alive - Pearl Jam Clinging On For Life - The Hoosiers Tension - Avenged Sevenfold  Boots of Spanish Leather - Bob Dylan Nutshell - Alice in Chains Jaded - Aerosmith  The Sea of Tragic Beasts - Fit For an Autopsy 

I’ll add my current favourite at the bottom too for good measure (Honestly I spend way too much time listening to music and I regret nothing)

Number of followers: Currently 85. I’ve got about 2k on my main blog but I’ve not touched that since July 2017.

Amount of sleep: Good lord, so I aim for 8 hours, sometimes I only get 5.5 or something along those lines, other times I depression nap during the day and can’t sleep at all, sometimes (like this morning) I’ll go to get up at a normal person time such as 9am when my body naturally wakes me up, but it’s so dark and gloomy outside and cold in my room that I just stay in bed and end up accidentally falling back asleep. 12pm gang rise up xo 

Lucky number: 7

Dream Job: Hopefully I get somewhat successful in monetising my hobbies, I’m working on it all atm (I don’t know why but I really hate telling people about my plans because I’m deathly afraid they’ll mock me or do whatever they can to ensure it doesn’t happen, I’ve got this list of things I need to do for my own mental health sellotaped to my laptop stand that had things like when to clean the house, do my laundry, shower, exercise etc, and my old flatmate/friend saw it the other week and mocked me, so I haven’t followed it since and need to find some sort of other way of organising my life instead). But yeah, hopefully hobby based, I don’t want to be stuck in an office job all my life, and I want to leave the UK (although I don’t want to leave my family) so hopefully I’ll be successful enough to bring em all with me.

Wearing: Well I was gonna wear jeans and my Unus Annus longsleeve but I decided to go full kitchen witch and wear this black milkmaid looking dress with long sleeves that I’d bought for work when I got my thigh tattoo started (all the old men appreciated the legs but I didn’t make any more tips, oops)

Favourite song: My favourite song of all time would be The Verve’s Bittersweet Symphony , the band formed at my college, has great meaning and has resonated with me since I first saw the music video after it was played at my Stepdad’s funeral in 2002. Weirdly enough on my last day of college, right after my last exam, I went to get the bus home - put my Spotify on shuffle (bearing in mind I’ve got 805 songs on this playlist) and this came on straight away. That’s probably not important to most people, but being pagan, I like to think that small things like these are signs from loved ones that have since passed. Not too happy that it’s used as the England Rugby theme because it gives me anxiety every time as though I feel like everyone hearing it doesn’t have the same emotional connection with the song as I do, but idk. I saw Richard Ashcroft live and he played this and I legit bawled my eyes out in public, safe to say I’ll try and hold it in next time. I suggest you all have a listen to the song or even watch the music video for it, it’s the most simple but most meaningful music video to me. 

Favourite Instrument: I’m left handed and I had this Yamaha acoustic guitar that my stepdad gave me - and taught me to play when I was about 5, a few months before he died (it’s still weird to me that I had no idea he had cancer at that point and instead spent his last few months teaching me his favourite hobbies) all he had was right handed guitars, so he taught me to play Metallica’s Nothing Else Matters upside down on this 20 odd year old right handed acoustic. He hadn’t played upside down himself before but did it so I could see what he was doing. I remember sitting in our green living room on the couch with him moving my hands to the right position (I don’t know where my mum was in this scenario, probably in the kitchen). He’d brought this guitar with him the first day I met him, it was probably like 11pm but I was 4 and thought it was 3am or something, but I heard voices coming from the living room and had gone to investigate - there sat my mum and my stepdad having Chinese on the living room floor, laughing together, my stepdad saw me and had brought sweets for me and my brother for when we woke up, but he beckoned me over, gave me a lollipop, stuck a two litre bottle of tizer in front of me and told me to dip the lollipop in the drink and lick it (not a good idea as I would’ve been bouncing off the walls, but I think I must’ve had a sugar crash and fallen asleep). My mum had no idea he was coming as he’d sneakily been texting her, asking what her favourite drink was, her favourite food and flowers etc, after they met in a pub when my mum was at a hostel with my brother after my Dad had taken me. My mum told him that the council had given her a place and he decided to show up and surprise her with all her favourite things and play guitar for her after my brother and I had gone to bed, I don’t remember much time passing before we’d moved into his house (where my mum and her new husband live to this day), but they got married a few months later and I still can’t play that Metallica song (I did try to teach myself more of it though). I also had this black left handed Ibanez prestige that my Dad got me for Christmas about 9 years ago, I could play quite a lot on it but eventually just stopped. Very good at piano though. 

Aesthetic: I’m not sure what this entails but I’m a sucker for neon/RGB/cityscapes and that type of malarkey. Also space. Love da space.  Also whatever Cornwall would be considered as. Cottagecore? I think that’s only an animal crossing related aesthetic but I’m claiming it nonetheless. 

Favourite Author: I’m a big goth so it has to be Stephen King by default. I’ve got copious first editions of his books from the 70′s and 80′s that my Mum bought when she was a teen. At my flat I’ve got Carrie, Christine, Salem’s Lot, Misery and The Shining first editions and the others are in my room at my Mum’s house. I don’t tend to read for joy like I used to, or write for fun either but I’m hoping I do more in 2021. Currently reading The Outsider by King, it sounds eerily familiar to a novel I wrote for coursework in college in 2014 and I’m half pressed to think he’s stole my brain ideas. I’m watching you Stephen. Always watching. Always. 

Favourite animal sounds: I don’t have favourite sounds, but my husky Nanook is my favourite animal because he’s dumb and I love him. Also Kookaburra sounds are terrifying and you all should go listen to what a koala sounds like. When I go to Adelaide (hopefully this year, if not next) I am NOT stepping foot in a nature reserve unless I’ve got an anti-kookaburra noise suit on. They obviously don’t exist so I’m gonna have to make one.

Random: I’m part of a viking reenactment group where they use actual swords and fight each other, and we have to basically sign our lives away when we join, to say that if we die, it’s not the groups fault. I don’t actually do the fighting though, I’m part of the villager group, so I do all the crafting and food making and most of the teaching when we do shows. I’ve not yet been to a show as I’ve had uni to go to, but my parents, sister and brother do - They stayed within Whitby Abbey last year during the Viking festival where everyone did the show and the adults got drunk round campfires in the castle grounds. Zacky Vengeance once complimented my shirt if that’s something. I’m also colourblind, got glared at by Liam Gallagher in the Liverpool Echo Arena parking lot and have too accurate a sense of smell.

Sorry this was so long, obviously I felt like word-dumping and my brain has a lot to say as I find too much meaning in these things.  Thanks again for tagging me! I’ve not got 17 people to tag as I don’t interact with anyone at the moment but I’ll come back to this and add people as the week progresses :) 

[s3venpounds]

1 - 102

ASK MEE RIDICULOUSLY PERSONAL THINGSSSSSSSSSSSS YEEEEEEEEEEEE i love this shit

thanks for the ask anon, at this point im sure yall already know everything about me but hey whats a couple more questions c:

1.) what’s a song you depict with your childhood?

YIKES tough right off the bat huh? it would have to be the opening to digimon frontier ayyyyyyyyyy i still listen to that shit every fucking month. its that or disney’s hercules i can go the distance that shit was just MMMMMMM good shit2.) did you have a memorable childhood pet?

yep a blue and white love bird my family called quick silver we taught it to do adorable little tricks like pick up our pencils when we do homework and it rolls away3.) have you ever been drunk?

hehe yeah fun times4.) have you ever tried drugs?

yup! curious about trying more hard drugs but also i dont wanna get addicted or like idk die/get arrested5.) have you ever completely regretted what you’ve said?

ALL THE FUCKING TIME. infact at work i told a customer we didnt have a thing and the customer was like whats that right behind u, and it was the thing they were looking for i felt so stupid lmao6.) have you ever made someone cry?

yeah.7.) has someone ever made you cry?

yeah.8.) have you ever been in love? if so, describe the moment you knew it.

honestly idk if i ever have been in love. I would think that i have but yknow you never know what the future holds so looking back something in the past could pale in comparison to something in the future9.) which came first the chicken or the egg?

the chicken, evolved from some other bird10.) are you part of the lgbtq+ community? do you support them?

dunno if im part of the community by status but i wholeheartedly approve and support them. speaking just for myself though I just think I’m me and nothing else. whether im non binary or male or female or something else doesn’t matter to me. im attracted to who im attracted to, feel what i feel, and do what i want with a hint of salt. If plants can have like 10 000 genders or whatever, then anyone can be whatever they want unless its something fucked up like age fluid lmao if youre 60 youre 60 even if you have the “mind of a 14 year old”11.) how many siblings do you have?

412.) have you ever been in love with someone you couldn’t love?

yeah in fact just recently13.) are you a good cook?

fuck no. i fucking wish tho, not even a good cook i just wanna be able to copy recipes on tasty’s facebook page hahaha14.) what is your favorite tv show?

right now i dont have one and i definitely dont watch tv shows often unless you count anime then haikyuu!! or My hero Academia15.) what is the last movie you cried during?

i think it was a tyler perry movie something about a funeral and a family reunion honestly i cry when any movie has a really strong family sorta bonding specially if the family was broken at first and they all healed together and became closer as a result16.) what are songs you’ve cried to when you first heard them? (if any)

none, i did cry whe i was listening to wild wild love by GRL and pitbull for some reason? 17.) do you have a middle name?

nope i do have a nickname given to me by distant relatives18.) have you been out of your country?

yeah thankfully ive been out of canada multiple times19.) are you a chocolate fan or not?

love chocolate in fact im drinking hot chocolate right now, little cold going on so i need it20.) how many people have you kissed?

lips? less than 15, in general no matter where? couldnt count21.) what is your favorite album?

the only album i loved in its entirety has been marianas trench master piece theatre22.) what is your dream car?

2003 dodge viper23.) what is your lucky/favorite number?

i always wanted to be ironic and say 13 but i’ve kinda been leaning towards 10 like hinata’s jersey number24.) what is your favorite flower?

lilacs cuz the color25.) books or movies, why?

movies, less thinking for me26.) have you ever been on a blind date?

nope but i’d love to try it27.) has one of your friends ever backstabbed you?

yep28.) have you ever backstabbed one of your friends?

i dont think i have? not consciously.29.) what thing do you symbolize love with?

an act of self sacrifice or something handmade or personally tailored to the individual receiving30.) do you have neat handwriting?

i adore neat handwriting! its like a breath of fresh air, simple and precise to read, and it feels like you can read faster when it is31.) do you have a friend with benefits?

nope but i’d love to have one!32.) do you want a friend with benefits?

just said but yeah i’d love one!33.) if you could be anything in the world, what would you be?

A hero.34.) have you ever been blackout drunk?

nope but my body refuses to drink any more alcohol once i get to my good buzz point. like all alcohol makes me wanna throw up the second i get past the point its almost like my mind and body are two seperate beings lmao35.) have you ever met someone famous?

i think i have? one time when i went bowling with some relatives, there was a crowd gathering around this blonde dude who was playing house of the dead and this one guy in the crowd approached me saying “ do you know who he is? hes famous?” and then i blanked out after that because i just wanted to watch someone play and mentally check out for an hour36.) how many concerts have you been to?

3 concerts! all which were very fun !37.) which concerts have you been to?

one was an ed sheeran concert for his divide album, another was a marianas trench concert in klondike days edmonton, and the last was a country concert im not sure who it was my sister wanted me to go with her38.) do you have a hidden talent?

i can match any generation 1 pokemon just from their cries some generation 2 but beyond that only a handful from each other generation39.) what do you do when you’re stressed?

masturbate. honestly its the only sure fire thing i’ve done that clears my head for the longest time and relaxes me lmao40.) do you think money can buy love?

of course! just depends how you use it! like if youre just throwing money at random people like “hey love me” itll be fake, but if you say, pay off a struggling student’s loans in full and give em a good fresh start im sure theyll be grateful to you for years to come. or if you pay for someone to get super super expensive surgery so they can die from old age rather than a disease or something then yeah they’d love you forever41.) how old would you date?

honestly not sure, i havent really tried dating anyone a lot older than me i usually date within 4-5 years older or younger? though i dont think i’d see a problem dating someone 10 years older than me42.) have you ever done something illegal?

hehe. ye.43.) what is your biggest fear?

death. too long to elaborate44.) what is an unusual fear you have?

fear of what happens after death45.) can you drive?

nope but i plan to learn how to and take my exam within the next 2 ish months46.) do you believe in supernatural creatures?

of course! as many evolutions that were made common place theres bound to be evolutions that somehow spurred legends and mysteries47.) do you believe in karma?

of course! 100% of the time i expect some stranger to just walk up to me and start slapping me or punching me or throwing water or soda in my face for something i did, though i also prepare myself to say” okay i probably deserved that but can i ask why?”48.) what is one quality you need in your partner?

need to love physical affection, if not i dont think i can last with them, physical affection is so important to me its just as important as saying i love you, it like reassures me that theyre there with me in that moment and that theyre happy and just. physical stuff tells me a lot ok49.) do looks matter?

on first impression? oh hell yeah. keep in mind strictly first impression. im not gonna cut off a potential friendship or relationship because someones not my type or whatever i cut people off if they do something fucked up and horrible50.) does size matter?

to some people im not one of them51.) who is the last person you forgave?

I can’t really remember, i forgive people for small stuff all the time but with big personal mistakes i usually hold grudges52.) what is your favorite ice cream flavor?

French Vanilla53.) what languages can you speak besides english?

none but i plan to learn sign language eventually that and visaya54.) ever been on a plane?

yep! i’ve been out of the country so that definitely means by plane i dont know anyone who goes on roadtrips long enough to get out of the country55.) ever been on a boat?

yeah! i thought i’d be seasick but turns out i enjoy being on the water its kinda calming56.) is there anyone you’ve lost touch with that you wish you hadn’t?

yeah my childhood friend ralph, cool dude but our friend groups and interests just kinda diverged57.) are there any friendships you regret?

yeah..58.) are there any friendships you wish you could make?

oh hell yeah! there was this one girl who always ate at the same cafeteria as me and my friend group and i regret not inviting her over and being her friend59.) have you ever stayed awake for 24 (+) hours?

yeah! specially during summer it really sucks and i only do that when my mental state is at a record low self punishment i spose60.) have you ever walked outside after 12 am?

hell to the yeah! its the best! like a music video or adventure but it really just helps me clear my mind. oh wait i guess that kinda counts for the calms me down thing so late night walks and masturbating bahahaha61.) have you ever seen a sunrise completely through?

yep! one time with an ex girlfriend! we stayed from 2 am till 10 am i think singing songs and talking and cuddling on those big swings with a bowl at the bottom62.) are you scared of rollercoasters?

NO !!! I LOVE ROLLERCOASTERS!!!! im kind of an adrenaline junkie!63.) on a scale of 1-10 how stressed are you usually?

i personally feel like a 3 but thats probably because im already used to a 7 because of old issues i need sorted out that i’ve just kinda grown to live with the stress64.) do you have any plans this weekend?

considering its sunday? no, next weekend? im working65.) do you miss anyone right now?

yeah. i miss em a lot.66.) who do you wish you were talking to right now?

K,Z, and C i miss em67.) if you could have any superpower, what would it be?

the power to fly or have wings that can make me fly. I associate flying with true freedom. 68.) who is your favorite superhero?

All Might69.) are you dirty minded?

ridiculously70.) what is your favorite song from every decade starting at that 80’s?

im too lazy for that shit bro…71.) how many kids, if any, do you want?

2 preferably? 72.) who is your biggest OTP?

im not super into shipping just cause it can get pretty toxic but asami and korra73.) what is your favorite food?

aw man im too much of a carnivore to pick just one thing man. uhh fried chicken or this one pork dish my mom makes thats super easy to make its like canned beans with this orange sweet kinda sauce and pork belly slices and potato chunks omggggg i eat so much of that. the last time my mom made that i actually ate the whole thing and i had to make more for everyone else lmao74.) do you want to be married one day?

yeah. it’d be nice not to have to worry about being alone for the rest of my life75.) dogs or cats?

dogs are great and so are cats though i have more patience for cats than i do for dogs. dogs to me are like energetic little kids and thats fine as long as im not dealing with them for an extended period amount of time i get drained pretty easy. cats are like roommates show you love and attention when they want but arent opposed to keeping you company the whole day76.) do you drink enough water daily?

i have no fukcing clue i literally just drink water whenever i have an excuse to drink.77.) have you ever seen a shooting star?

not that i know of? like theres a few times i think i did but i wanna see one thats like unmistakably a shooting star or comet thatd be neat too78.) if you had the opportunity to go to the moon, would you?

not long term? yeah id love to, just to feel what zero g feels like and the view of earth

79.) how many best friends do you have?

3 ish……..80.) when was the last time you cried?

a few nights ago when they stopped talking to me i cried like a little baby lmao ahhhhhhhhhh yikes81.) have you ever laughed so hard you peed yourself?

nope82.) have you ever made anyone laugh so hard they peed?

i think? there was this one dude who literally thought everything i said was genuinely funny though to this day i have no idea if he was serious or not. i also have not seen that dude ever since83.) if you could travel any where in the world, where would you go?

Venice Italy.84.) what are 3 words you would use to describe yourself?

Lonely, Filth, dependant85.) do you consider yourself a loyal person?

no, if my loyalty gets in the way of what i think is the right thing to do then i disregard the loyalty86.) what is your favorite season and why?

Winter. for some reason growing up i always felt like winter was unappreciated and i had this train of thought like “ even the cold needs to be loved” that and most of my wardrobe is just winter stuff. plus midnight walks feel so much nicer since its so cold out you know for a fact no one else would be walking around because whos gonna wait in a dark alley at -30 to mug, rape or kidnap someone.87.) have you ever told anyone you loved them, and didn’t mean it?

nope. if i ever said it i meant it.88.) do you know how to play any instruments?

not reliably. like i know some songs on guitar from youtube tutorials but i can’t play the guitar in all circumstances yknow like i learned the song without mastering the basics89.) do like like falling asleep to music or not?

nope. i need like silence to sleep but ambient noise is preferred. music gives my brain something to focus on and thus stay awake90.) what are you allergic to?

pet fur or feathers and stuff. my eyes get puffy, my nose clogs up and my skin itches91.) have you ever wanted to be someone else for a day just so you could see what there life is like?

a sad, extremely rich person and a happy, extremely poor person. to show me what to be grateful for92.) if you could be any character from your favorite tv show would you, and if so, who would you be?

huh, thats tough… if its haikyuu i’d love to be daichi, if its my hero academia its hawks or deku93.) if you could be best friends with any celebrity who would it be and why

Gal Gadot, I feel like she’d be such a positive influence on my life and that thing she does to people who are shorter than her where she cups their face in her hands omg i’d melt everytime. i just kinda wanna be like a little brother to her lol

94.) are you outgoing?

i would say i am?95.) have you ever wanted to kiss someone, but weren’t brave enough to?

oh fuck yeah im fucking gutless96.) are you a good flirt?

nope. awkward and weird af97.) have you ever been turned down, or have you ever turned anyone down?

yup all the time. part of life98.) which planet is your favorite?

never really thought about planets much but i do stan pluto as a planet99.) are you superstitious?

to an extent100.) are you a good listener?

i’d like to think i am101.) are you a good kisser

also like to think i am probs not102.) would you kiss any of your friends?

all of them honestly well not all of them. mostly cuz yknow theyre taken or theyd probably hate me if i did some of them are super defensive about physical intimacy

[jess-oh]

Reflection

I’ve been so busy.

but before i forget, i think it’s really interesting how quickly i am able to adapt to the new culture. I just got back from an ASO meeting and it was really nice to see everyone and they all exclaimed, “Jessica!” happy to see me and it was honestly such a great feeling. And we ate brownies, played games, and overall, it was really fun! But we did briefly discuss religion when someone commented on In-n-Out’s John 3:16 verse, I wasn’t quick to jump and say that I’m actually super religious and want to live out 1 Peter 3:14-17. I did think about it but I was afraid that the conversation would abruptly end and then it would just be awkward and I didn’t want to ruin what we had going. But it was really fun and I’m glad that I got let out of class so early today and was able to share that time with them. I’m actually so surprised because I’ve been nonstop busy for the past couple days but now I actually feel like I have time to rest and work on my portfolio. I have a quiz for Oceanography tomorrow and I need to work on my branding for Self Management and Freelancing but I’m fairly confident that I can finish both before midnight tonight. And that’s so weird. I’m not sure when the last time I posted was so let me backtrack. Oh wait, I do remember. It was Sunday. Okay, so I only missed one day. I was up until around 4 or 5am Sunday night just working so hard on my graphic design pictographs and my critique actually went really well. Jilly did target me for a moment but I quickly regaine my composure and went forward with what I had. And while she did give me some advice, I’m starting to discover who she is and what her teaching style is like. She really is extremely specific and if you don’t have it like how she wants it, then you’re screwed. I’m most worried for Andrew bc he’s so unorthodox but she seemed like his things so far. But I do appreciate her critique and I am excited to move forward with it. Step 1 included having all the categories and titles figured out plus drawing. Now that it’s just drawing, I feel a lot better about it and I am hoping to work on it before Sunday since I know I’m going to be crazy busy Friday and Saturday. 

Oh, I was also late to work this morning and yesterday morning :’( But the techs were pretty considerate about it. They’re probably taking pity on me bc they know about the funeral and I’m doing my best not to bring it up because I don’t want to play the pity card. I don’t want to be pitied. It’s so cheap. I felt pity from others on Sunday and I know that they’re just trying to be there for me but it feels so routine and informal. And I know I have a past of bragging about my own hardships but I really want to strive to avoid that. I want to really genuinely care about others now and only bring up my side of the story when necessary. I do want to become a better person. I do. I definitely slipped today and yesterday just bc I was so tired but I do really want to live out my life for Christ.

Quick thing that bothered me but I’m growing to realize how much I dislike gossip. I waited for Sara after class yesterday and once she got her stuff together, she just started going off on Jilly. And I did expect some complaining but she was just going ham bc she was so angry and frustrated and it was interesting bc that sounded like a high schooler to me. I’m honestly just so blessed that I have the opportunity to go here and I’m just thankful for that. And of course, it won’t always be a smooth ride but I want to make the most of my time here, yknow? But Sarah. a 29 year old who chose to back to school, was just so upset at her and I was kind of taken aback. I tried to join in but it honestly just felt awkward and out of place. And Jilly walked by a few times and I’m pretty sure she overheard us. And once we were going to go down, we ran into our old graphic design teacher, Sarah Faust, and Sara immediately dipped and opted for the stairs instead. I just kind of assumed that she went down all the way by herself but we met up on the elevator on the 4th floor. I was pretty surprised. But we were just chill about it and then part ways once we hit outside.

Then, I grabbed a meal from Subway and ate that for dinner because I hadn’t eaten all day and tried my best to scarf that down as fast as I could because Emily and I needed to go check out the apartments. So we the 2 bus and went and I texted Ashlie that we’d be half an hour later and she was fine with it. But then we got there, looked around, and I already had my heart set on the Cornell apartment but the others were really nice to look at. And probably because it was so cold and we were tired after a long day and had seen the nicer apartments first, Cornell was pretty disappointing. I was moreso in love with the location and the price than the actual building but it really was a huge step down. I’m going to do some more research and calculate all the expenses and where everything is in proximity with grocery stores and that kind of stuff but we’ll see. At this rate, because I got Andrew N.’s advice too, it doesn’t look like we’ll be going with Cornell. I know Emily is in love with Cottage Grove and while it is nice, I don’t think it’s nice enough in comparison with the Drexel apartment. It’s only a $20 difference for each of us and I feel like we may as well go with the more expensive one in that case and reap more benefits.

But onto today, I went to work and napped during my break in between classes. I was supposed to work on my homework and get a bunch of stuff done but I ended up passing out and honestly, that was probably for the best. I was so tired and felt like passing out all day at work. But I responded to 6 posts while at work and then I was just gonna go home, do my reflection, and continue my apartment research. Unfortunately, I didn’t get to either. Kind of. I had about half an hour before class and had the choice of either showering or doing my reflection and risk losing points in the class. I did the reflection. It took 20 minutes to watch but it was actually really interesting and I think I wrote a pretty good response. Class was fun too and I got a lot of good thoughts in. I lowkey bullshitted my IA assignment last night so I didn’t wan to present today but after reading other comments, I was feeling a lot better about it and felt ready to go. And while I didn’t get that chance, I was definitely read to present. And it was just nice because whenever I participated and knew all eyes were on me, I felt at ease and calm and collected. It was great. And plus, I did get to shower before class. I rushed but I did it and I felt so much better after.

Walking home with some people with ASO was interesting. We started off really strong but eventually our conversation died down. And Mulan was really shitting on her friends about how they don’t get anything done and I tried to defend them by talking about what Janae had been doing but she seemed stubborn and I haven’t served with them so I don’t know but there’s definitely some miscommunication going on here. Someone isn’t telling someone else that they’re upset. Or maybe neither of them are talking. Who knows. After hearing about what Mulan has had to go through, I’m a bit more understanding now but seeing her lash out at our friends... it still saddens me. 

And now I’m here. I’ve been typing for about half an hour and because I realized I need to do pre-work for graphic design soon, I’m worried that I actually won’t be sleeping at midnight today. But I did also promise Mulan that I would workout with her tomorrow morning at 7am so I kind of have to but we’ll see. I don’t mind if I stay up late again on Sunday night but especially since we’ll be debriefing too, I am worried. I should try to get as much of it done as I can beforehand. And I still need to work on my typography homework too.  I was saving that for tomorrow but if I can do it today, I may as well. I’m just hoping that everything calms down soon. I know I’ve only been so busy bc I’ve had blocks in my schedule of going home or meeting up with people that I haven’t had as much free time as I’d like. And while I am happy that I’m taking the time to meet up with more people and really invest into them and make the most out of life, I am starting to see how thinly I am stretching myself and it is worrying. I don’t want to half ass anything but I also don’t want to be left feeling so empty and stressed out again. It’s all about balance and I think I’ve just been too aggressive. But I do think everything will start to calm down starting next week so I’m excited. I just have to push through for now.