#been a bit since i posted but AHHH!!! so happy w this

[yourbleedingh3art]

[nvrsaidiwasinurcloset]

Ethan Landry x Reader second chance trope?? They can be at a party since there obviously still in the same friend group w the group and they take there anger they’ve been keeping in out on eachother by sex. But after the get back tg obvi xxx🩷

I wanted to post this last night but my melatonin kicked in and the words I was typing made zero sense haha. I hope you like it!

New Perspective - Ethan Landry x Fem!Reader

This contains SMUT - Minors DNI

Summary: After your breakup with Ethan, you run into him at a party after avoiding him for months.

Contains: Mentions of a break-up, angst, underage drinking, Oral - F!Recieving, p in v sex

A/N: I hope y'all like it:) There's a ton of dialog lmao

When Ethan broke up with you, you were devastated. It was his first relationship, and he didn’t know how to work through the rough patches. He always seemed to say the wrong thing at the wrong time, and that really put a strain on things. He thought that he made you unhappy, and regardless of how much he loved you, he couldn’t put you through it anymore.

Since that night, you’ve only been around him a few times. It sucked that you had the same friend group, because you didn’t have time to grieve the loss of the relationship. You eventually became distant from your friends, not wanting to see him. He was always with Chad, and Tara always wanted Chad around. The only ones you still see on a regular basis are Mindy and Anika, and even though they’re cool with Ethan, they still were loyal to you.

When Mindy showed up to your dorm and started to beg you to come out to a party, it was the last thing you felt like doing.

“Come on, you need to get out and do something. This whole ‘moping in your room’ thing isn’t like you,” she said, flopping onto your bed.

“You know Ethan will probably be there…I’m not ready to see him,” you sighed, laying down beside her.

“Maybe it wouldn’t be the worst thing for you to see him. Maybe you could try to be friends like you were before you started dating,” Mindy suggested, “We all miss you…Ethan does, too.”

You scoffed at her words, “I highly doubt that.”

“No, seriously. He’s always asking me how you’re doing.”

You sat up and got off your bed. “Fine, I’ll go. But if it’s too hard for me to be around him, I probably won’t stay long,” you said, a smile forming on Mindy’s face.

“Yes! We’re going to have so much fun,” she looked over your appearance, “Okay, get out of the sweatpants and let’s go!”

You stopped by Anika’s dorm on the way to pick her up. She was beaming the second she saw you.

“Ahhh I’m so excited you’re going to the party!” she squealed. You giggled at her enthusiasm.

“I told Mindy that I might not stay long,” you said, as you started the walk to the frat house.

“Even if we only get you for a little bit, that’s all that matters.”

The bass from the music in the house was so loud that the sidewalk was vibrating as you walked up to the door. When you made it inside, the three of you went to the kitchen to get a drink.

“Whoa, I don’t think you need that much,” Mindy said, as you added vodka to your cup.

“I’m not going to chug it, I’m just going to sip it,” you laughed, adding some juice.

“Hey!” you heard Tara yell as she wrapped an arm around you. “I’m so happy you came.”

“How much have you had to drink?” you asked with a smile, the slight slur in her speech hinting that she’s probably had enough.

“Not that much, Chad cut me off,” she said, as he walked up beside her.

“Yeah, she gets feisty when she drinks to much,” Chad joked, as Tara nudged him. “It’s great to see you.”

“It’s nice to see you guys, too,” you said, as you looked behind him. A familiar set of brown eyes connected with yours.

Your breath hitched in your throat as he smiled, the simple action making you want to take a sip of your drink.

You turned to Mindy, “I don’t know if I’m ready for this.”

“Yes, you are. You don’t have to talk to him if you don’t want to,” she said, leading you away from him to the living room.

As you leaned against the wall with Mindy and Anika, one of the guys you recognized from your writing class came up to you.

“Hey, you want to dance?” he asked, his hand reaching out to take yours. You looked over to Mindy, her eyes encouraging you.

“Fuck it, sure,” you said, grabbing his hand.

He led you to the middle of the floor, his hands going to your waist. You didn’t even know his name; you didn’t really care. You just needed to have fun.

Ethan searched for you, wanting to talk. He saw Mindy and Anika on the other side of the room.

“Did she leave?” Ethan asked Mindy as he walked up to her.

“No, not really,” she said, as he looked in the direction she was.

His heart dropped as he watched you dance with another guy’s hands on you. He felt sick to his stomach, wishing those hands were his.

“Who’s that?” he asked, as Anika smirked.

“Why, you jealous?” she asked, as Ethan’s cheeks started to turn pink. It wasn’t obvious in the poorly lit house, which he was thankful for.

“No, I want her to be happy,” he sighed, looking back over to you.

You swayed to the music, one of your hands on his shoulder as the other held your drink. His hands kept moving, running over the curve of your ass as he pulled you closer.

“Keep your hands on my hips,” your voice was playful but stern.

“I like them where they are,” he mumbled, as his hands squeezed you.

Ethan was watching the whole interaction, fury building inside him as he watched the guy’s hands roam. He couldn’t take it anymore.

“Seriously, stop,” you said, as his body was pulled away from yours.

“Don’t touch her like that,” Ethan snapped, as the guy raised his hands.

“Sorry dude, I thought you broke up with her.”

“He did,” you said before turning to Ethan, “I can take care of myself.”

“What, I’m just supposed to be okay with another guy’s hands on you?” Ethan questioned, his eyes pleading with yours. You looked over to Mindy, a smirk on her face after watching Ethan stick up for you.

“Let’s go talk.”

You took his hand in yours and led him to one of the few vacant bedrooms upstairs, locking the door after you walked in. Your heart was pounding, but you needed to have a conversation, and didn’t want to be interrupted.

You both sat down on the edge of the bed, as you started to get mad. You’ve held in so many emotions since the breakup, and anger seemed to be the one threatening to escape.

“You do know you can’t get upset when you’re the one that gave up on us, right?” you asked, as he looked over at you.

“I didn’t want to give up, but you weren’t happy,” he sighed, looking back down to his lap.

“I was happy with you. Every relationship has their issues…you just didn’t want to work through them.”

“You didn’t make it easy, though,” he looked back up, “I think it’s best that we did break up. All we did was argue the last month we were together.”

“How can you say that’s what was best when you weren’t okay with someone else’s hands on me?” you snapped, “You can’t just not want to be with me, but not want anyone else to have me either. That’s just selfish.”

“You’re the one that’s selfish…your emotions seemed to be the only ones that mattered.”

“What the fuck, Ethan? I tried so hard to make you happy, too!” you were starting to get frustrated when you stood up, “This was a mistake. I was hoping we could at least be friends, but I don’t think that’ll work. At least not right now”

You started to open the door when Ethan pushed it shut. When you turned to face him, you could tell he was mad that you wanted to walk away.

“We’re done, remember?” you snapped, before he pushed you against the door.

“No, we aren’t.”

He leaned in, his lips connecting to yours. The kiss was needy, and very aggressive. You were whimpering, the intensity making your core throb. His tongue slipped in your mouth as one of your hands went to his hair. You felt his hands go to your hips, before going to your ass. He started to lift you, your legs instinctively wrapping around his waist as he carried you over to the bed.

He pulled his shirt off after laying you down, his hands going to the hem of yours.

“Wait, do you think I’m just going to let you fuck me?” you laughed, sitting up. “I’m not going to be the girl that you dumped but you still hook up with.”

“Why are you making things so complicated?” he snapped, as your jaw dropped. “Seriously, babe. I think this is the best way for us to get the aggression out.”

His eyes were full of lust, but you saw love there, too. You weren’t sure what this meant, but you were desperate to find out. You slipped your shirt over your head and reached behind you to unhook your bra. He bit his lip as he looked at the newly exposed skin.

“You’re so beautiful,” he said, not wanting to move closer until you gave him the okay to do so.

“I thought we were getting the aggression out,” you smirked, “Come here.”

He kissed you again as his hand ran up your side. You started to giggle at the tickling sensation, until his hand made it to your breast and squeezed it. You moaned into the kiss, as his hands kept roaming your body.

He trailed kisses along your jaw and neck, gently nibbling your flesh. He smirked against you as you gasped at the feeling.

“Stop teasing me,” you whined, as he lifted his head to look at you.

“What? You don’t want me to take my time?” his tone was cocky as he watched you squirm underneath of him.

“Please don’t,” you said, as he leaned down to take one of your nipples in his mouth. His hand roamed lower as he fumbled with the button to your jeans. You reached down, unbuttoning them and shimmying them down your hips.

“Someone’s impatient,” he mumbled, sucking your other nipple into his mouth.

“Mhm,” you whimpered as he started to rub you over your panties. “Those need to go, too.”

You tried to reach down and pull them off yourself before he stopped you.

“I think I still remember how to do this,” he joked, sliding them along with your jeans the rest of the way down your legs. His lips moved further down, his eyes watching your face when he was almost where you wanted him. Your eyes started to flutter shut as your breathing got heavier in anticipation. “I want your eyes on mine, baby.”

When your eyes connected, he flicked his tongue across your clit. His tongue quickly sped up, the whimpers flooding out of your mouth getting louder. He slowed down every time your eyes started to close.

“Please don’t stop,” you whined, your hands going to his hair.

“I said to keep your eyes on mine.”

Your eyes met his again, making his mouth move faster against you. Your fingers started to gently tug on his hair, as he slipped one of his fingers inside you.

“Oh fuck,” you moaned, as he curved it just right. When he added a second one, your eyes started to shut. As hard as you tried to fight it, you couldn’t.

“You don’t want to listen, do you?” he asked, sliding his fingers out of you. You whined at the loss of contact. “I want you on all fours, baby.”

You got into the position on the bed as he slid his jeans down.

“Fuck, I don’t have a condom,” he said, his hands running over your ass. “I’m sorry, babe.”

“I thought you always kept a spare one in your wallet?” you questioned, your mind starting to wander. “Unless you used it on someone else.”

“Seriously? Is that what you think?” he asked, grabbing his phone. “Hang on, I’ll see if Chad has one.”

 “I’m on birth control. As long as you pull out, we’ll be fine,” you sighed, “but really, where did your extra condom go, Ethan?”

He lined up with your dripping entrance, gasping when he pushed the tip in.

“Stop accusing me of something you know didn’t happen,” he said, gripping your hips as he slid the rest of the way in.

“Fuck,” you whimpered at the fullness, “Did you want to see other people? Is that why you really dumped me?”

His hips started to move faster, your words pissing him off.

“I never replaced it after we fucked in my car when you went home with me for Christmas,” he mumbled, watching his cock slide in and out of your pussy. “You’re so fucking tight.”

He loved the way your ass moved when he pounded into you, feeling like he could come at the sight when your hips moved back to meet his thrusts.

Your face was pressed against the bed as one of your hands went to your clit. You rubbed fast circles as he repeatedly hit that spot inside of you.

“Ethan,” you whined, your orgasm quickly building. “I’m close.”

“Who does this pussy belong to?” he asked, his hips not slowing as you got closer and closer to falling over the edge. It was hard to form words as your hips started to jolt. “Tell me or I’ll stop.”

“It’s yours, Ethan,” you said, your face in the sheets as you tried to muffle your moans. He smiled as you said exactly what he wanted to hear.

“Don’t try to hide those pretty sounds, baby. No one can hear you over the music,” he groaned out, “I wanna hear you.”

You turned your head, the moans pouring out of your mouth getting louder and louder as your orgasm hit. His hips kept moving as he fucked you though it, your shaky hand still rubbing at your clit.

“I love it when you squeeze my cock like that,” he moaned, “I’m gonna cum, baby.”

He pulled out after a few more thrusts, shooting his cum all over your ass and lower back. You fully relaxed on the bed, drained of all your energy. Ethan caught his breath before he started to look around the room.

“Uh…I just need to find something to get this off of you,” he laughed, before noticing a box of tissues. He walked over to the dresser to grab them and saw a picture of the guy you were dancing with earlier in the night, “I think I just fucked you in your boyfriend’s bed.”

“Shut up, I don’t even know his name,” you laughed, as he cleaned his cum off you.

You slid off the bed onto your feet and grabbed your panties, slipping them back on. Ethan’s arms wrapped around you as he leaned in to kiss you.

“Do you really think I would break up with you for someone else?” he asked, “You know I love you too much to even think about anyone else, right?”

“I know you do, I was just trying to push your buttons,” you smiled, your lips pecking his.

“Can we try this again?” he asked against your lips.

You nudged him away a little, smirking at him. “Didn’t you just say we were meant to break up?”

“I think it needed to happen for us to see what we really wanted. I want to be with you,” he said, his hands reaching to grab yours, “If you’ll give me another chance.”

“As long as you promise me you’ll try to work through things with me whenever we have problems, then yes,” you smiled, as he stepped closer to kiss you again.

“I promise.”

As you walked back down to the party with Ethan, you noticed Chad and Tara at the bottom of the stairs. They were talking before Chad glanced up and saw the two of you.

“Are you guys good now?” he yelled, a blush creeping up on your cheeks as Ethan nodded. “Fuck yes. The gang is back together.”

You giggled as you made it to the bottom, Chad high-fiving Ethan to congratulate him.

“I knew you two could be friends again,” Tara said, as you looked up to Ethan.

“We’re not just friends,” Ethan smiled as he leaned down to kiss you. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” you mumbled against his lips.

[johnslittlespoon]

I love your bucky is dog fic so much!!! I reread it all the time it's so heart-warming and funny and just ahhh so good!! refreshing ao3 patiently and excitingly waiting for more<33

(a BIG mix of non–brainrot asks so i don't spam the timeline <33 some of these are from so long ago i'm so sorry. also lil disclaimer at the end about some specific asks i've been getting recently and why i won't be answering them! x)

1) !!?? you REREAD IT?? my heart wtf that's so sweet??? 😭💗 THANK U SM i will do my best to not let u down with future chapters even if shit gets a little bit angstier SDJKG <33

2) LMAO backseat gala–ing from the comfort of a couch 😭 judging the outfits as if they don't show up in plain tuxes half the time <3

3) <3333 thank u omg sjgkdk i'm so happy if my lack of stfu ability brings any bit of joy to anyone LOL

4) ILY THX LEGEND @air-exec u enable me too much <33

5) ALWAYS HAPPY TO INDULGE!! thank u for indulging my constantly rotting brain ur so kind 😭 <333

6) yaurrr i think it's just bc i do Not enjoy being around children LMAO i can't ever get into pregnancy/family dynamic type fics in general, i wish i could tho bc they're so wholesome :') but YEAH exactly ugh. it's like. the action of talking about it, especially when it's unattainable, is so intimate bc it's like an "i love you this much" thing. but it's also so hot bc the possession of it (and possible feminization depending on the pairing) sighhh

also i feel that sooo hard, sometimes you just gotta go where ur writing heart takes u yk? it's hard to write something if ur not fully invested :') and omg stop i WILL cry. 😭💗 wtf. thank YOU!! ofc i would read!! some ideas just /hit/ and urs is one of them <33 but also yes omg it's UP there (if not at the top) on my list of pwps i wanna write once i finish yad(iym) <33 thank you for sharing urs too and sending u good writing vibes regardless of what u write!!

7) GAHH this ones been on my ao3 read later since u sent this ask in!!! i literally have started a doc with links to moots fics i need to read/general fics i've stumbled across that look good and this one is for sure going in it. i do love reading sooo much, i just have the hell combo of adhd and dyslexia but i did start concerta a couple weeks ago which has def made it a bit easier to read lmfao thank fuck.

i think i just get in this headspace where i'm either a reader or a writer when i'm working on smth, idk if anyone else does this? i have a hard time slipping btwn both mindsets, i'm usually locked in on one at a time LOL but i need to get my shit together bc fuck everyone in this fandom writes so damn good and i want to leave long essays on all the fics and hype people up <33 i think once i finish the dog fic i'll take a few days to just consume my reading list to celebrate SJDGK

also omg i can't believe this ask is from before i even posted it that's crazyyy MY BAD. thank u and also that made me giggle JSKDG if that's my legacy in this fandom i'm honestly so happy ab that okay dog coded bucky is everything to me and i will do whatever i can to do him justice <333 and thank u again for the rec!

8) [ X ] UGHHH stop mammal RUINED me. he's soososoo pretty i want to die i think about that barry era as curt in the motaverse so often it makes me sick. i love pretty twinks!! xx (i have a whole motaverse au curtbucky where curt looks like 2012–ish barry and he's ken's age and they're cute lil mechanics together and it's so stupidly elaborate and niche and maybe i'll do smth w it one day who knows)

9) this is very sweet and i do appreciate you respecting my boundaries! thank you <3 i think a lot of people get annoyed at adults asking minors not to interact with nsfw posts on here bc the argument is always "they're gonna look even if you ask them not to" which, yeah, true! i was a teenager growing up online, i sure as hell did not let 18+ warnings stop me ever lmfaoo. i'm not telling minors to stay off my account because ik if people wanna find specific content, they're gonna find it. if teens are learning ab gay sex thru my blog, then at least they're learning ab it from a gay man who tries to keep things realistic in fic and who isn't a creep LOL.

that being said, i more so bar off minors interacting with my nsfw posts/writing bc i personally just feel uncomfortable discussing stuff like that with anyone who isn't an adult, and sometimes i don't have the time to check bios for ages (or sometimes bios don't have ages) before i reply to comments or whatever, so it's just easier to ask that y'all stick to the sfw so i don't accidentally brainrot some cooked shit with a child JSDJKG bc i would feel icky. i hope you understand <3

10) IT MAKES ME SICKKK. not only that, but when i was rewatching it with my irl last week, i realized that in e5 when bucky's smoking in the plane after gale goes down, he's sitting in the right (gale's) seat, which i'm pretty sure he doesn't do at any other time :((( like he was trying to be close to him in anyway he could </3

11) omg i've been meaning to watch that just to get a better inside look at stuff for world building purposes lmaooo but that sounds so wholesome :( i read that a lot of the guys would get real sad/touchy around holidays (obviously), so i could see a oneshot where one of them takes it upon themselves to try and cheer everyone up the best they can under their circumstances. a little found family holiday </33

12) thank u for the rec!! i'm suuuch a slow reader, i'm still working my way thru the actual mota book LOL but i've added this to my reading list <3 i think i might've actually read a couple excerpts from that one in doing research for my fic and it looks really interesting (and heartbreaking) so i'm sure i'll pick up a copy eventually :^)

13) oh 100% agree!! as someone who already isn't super interested in fashion/pop–culture, i find it very hard to look at the men's outfits and be blown away by any of them LOL but the women?? insane. was losing it over lana and zendaya's fits tonight ngl. hunter had me in a chokehold with last year's <3 tangent alright i always say this to my friends but i'm just jealous in general that women have so many more options in terms of clothes like.

okay listen i know i can leave my house in a skirt or crop top or whatever and a lot more guys are def starting to feel comfortable doing so. but i also enjoy not worrying about getting jumped or looked at funny! it's a lot safer than it used to be to do so, even in my small ass conservative town i'll sometimes put on some dangly earrings or a bit of rodrick–liner SJKDG but that doesn't mean it's normalized yet or whatever. point being that i wish it was because men's outfits would be sm more exciting at these fashion events if they had a wider range of options too!

but that aside, absolutely. until that changes, really it's not that hard for the men who are going with women (who don't want to go crazy with their outfits/who are more lowkey like you said) to just. wear something nice and on theme that compliments their partner's outfit and they'll be FINE. anything is better than something boring with no effort; effort doesn't have to equal crazy and fancy and elaborate. like austin's 2022 look has always been a standout to me because it was still a really nice look (even if it was simple) and it also worked so well because of who he had at his side. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ but i also literally don't know shit ab fashion so i rly shouldn't be speaking on it LOL. i just know some things make me go oh no and some make me go YUM

and that's probs the last i'll post about the met bc i rly don't care thaaaat much, i was just happy to see barry since he wasn't at the panel this weekend <3

OKAY THAT WAS SO MUCH I'M SORRY. i just felt really bad bc some of those have been sitting in my inbox for months bc i was waiting to compile them all into a post like this :-) but also one last thing, idk if it's bc of me stepping out of mota to talk ab the emmy stuff/the met this week, but i've had a couple gossip/drama(?) asks and i just wanna say rn that i won't be posting stuff like that, even though they've been worded kindly! one, because i rly only post about fic/brainrot/mota–fandom related stuff here (aside from rare exceptions like today lol). and two, because as much as i adore our boys and try to keep up with the things they're up to, i personally don't vibe with speculating about them (esp if it's in a way that kinda. forgets they are grown men who probably don't think twice ab some of the stuff that people think they do lolol). i have no issue with people who do like to talk ab that stuff, i follow update blogs and think it's totally fine as long as it's done respectfully! i just don't feel like talking about gossip fits the vibe here and frankly i don't care enough about what goes on behind the scenes half the time; i'm just here to create and support and be insane. <33 that's all, just wanted to say that so ppl aren't waiting to have those asks answered/aren't sending more in! x

[maymeowmoo]

Once again I have been engulfed in the need to write something regarding the new episode “SMG4: The Inspection”. I kinda wrote this like a live commentary sooooo watching the vid and reading these silly notes might make this better but meh whatevs! I am writing this for fun anyways =w=

First impression from the thumbnail? Smg3 is front and center = This is gonna be neat~

0:36-0:44 Pigstep with Swag was something I didn’t know I needed until now.

0:55-1:04 The plushie bit worked dammit. My humor is broken.

1:08 something interesting to note -> Smg3 said “You can help hide this body”. He is actually just requesting help for once with no convoluted way of making it some ‘deal’ or smtg. Maybe the stress over an inspection made him say this or he is developing idk but I found it worthy to point out!

2:38 AAAH idk why but Smg3 still calling Four “his assistant” makes me happy :)

3:21-3:34 Not me thinking this was gonna be a “Emesis Blue” reference. AHHH this episode is so fluffy with Four helping Three and nobody can tell me otherwise.

4:29-4:39 Man poor Mario :/

4:40 This? This is when I realized. THIS IS A STAR TRIO EPISODE YAY!

5:55-6:14 Okay this? This is good. I like this joke ALOT.

6:45-7:17 OH the DRAMA! The TWIST! What a wonderful episode.

8:10-8:18 AaAAAAa! Meggy as scout <3 This is so cool. Wonder if issa reference to Mimi the sentry tho >.>

8:52-8:57 I’ll be honest… I know a tiny bit abt TF2 and I think “[…] a fighting spirit!” won’t help you win against a soldier player, just saying =_=‘

9:06-9:15 Awh :)

10:16-10:21 Silly ending but also so fitting.

Jokes: [Wanted to give it a 10 outta smtg rating similarly to my other post. However I realized I need to first define what would be a 10 and what would be a 0 to do that… OOF] I really liked the jokes in this one! The ‘atmosphere’ of this episode overall was also nice. Lighthearted fun and silliness is my typa thing :3 Deffo would have a high rating!

Closing statement -> I was surprised that this episode was so good idk I had lower expectations going in for some reason? I love how it turns out to be a TF2 episode tho~

[Note: Decided to add the tag #Anons_C.A.R since u know, when I write my commentary/analysis/review stuff I wanna have a easy way to search it ig + man I want my laptop back. Writing this without it was hard x_x’]

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hi Steph! I hope you're well! This is my main blog - I'm @allthelovelybitsandpieces (LoloLolly on AO3). Since you've been so helpful in the past helping me get the word out (as a relatively new Sherlock writer, though not quite as new anymore!) I thought I'd let you know that I posted a new fic!.It's a oneshot and my first time writing (just a weeee bit) of smut, haha, so I'm a little nervous.

It's "The Waning of Withdrawal" (works/43413474); it picks up during the infamous TLD hug and is my attempt to sort of... make peace with it all. Assuming there's no magical S5 that tells S4 it was all fake, that is. (8,253 words). No need to post this at all - it's certainly not your responsibility, and I have a good number of followers now, in part thanks to you! - but I hope you might enjoy it regardless! Have a wonderful rest of your Sunday (or Monday, depending on your timezone!) 💜

The Waning of Withdrawal by LoloLolly (E, 8,248 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TLD Fix-It, First Kiss, First Time, Mentions of Abuse, Mentions of Alcoholism, Mentions of Drug Addiction, Sexual Identity, Panic Attacks, PTSD, Sherlock's Scars, Bed Sharing, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Grief, Guilt) – Sherlock holds a weeping John in his arms and… does something that will forever change things between them. For better or worse. He fears the latter.

-----

Hi Lovely!

AHHH I'm honoured that you wished to share your new story with me, and I am more than happy to promote it for you! It means the world to me to know that I've helped some of y'all in a small way, and I'm so happy you're doing well!

ALWAYS share your fics with me, writers, because I love helping you guys!

[picnokinesis]

I finally got up to date on the Campervan AU a few days ago; I’ve been meaning to send this for ages, but dejumbling my thoughts took longer than I thought.

I really liked the way you’ve incorporated Grace into the respective reimagining of each plot, not just keeping her to the sideline, but making sure she gets an amount of screen time compared to everyone else while also writing her in such a way that her decisions and dialogue feels like something she’d do in-canon. Which, similar to your handling of Jamila and other supporting characters w/ limited screen time, is really impressive. I also liked how you were able to tweak a few endings so they weren’t so bleak - maybe I’m a sap, but I was genuinely heartbroken watching Vilma and Benni’s fates during Orphan 55 ngl.

Similar to the show itself - altho given the au’s overarching plot you do have a bit more leeway here as far as spreading breadcrumbs - your ability to have Koschei and co. have an almost tangible presence in each ch. is just Great, no notes (I do admit, however that much like our beloved, if not over-frazzled Doctor here, I think about this Master entirely too much. So, I probably would’ve been thinking them all plotting in the shadows even w/o the occasional mention here and there). Speaking of, I love Gat sm and I’m equally excited as I am worried about her being about to scheme w/ Koschei bc that’s just asking for all kinds of trouble - especially as we making our way towards the end of s12 and all that entitles. I do wonder how a canonical interaction between them would go, she’d probably be as wary of him as Ashad was tbh.

But above all, I think what I enjoy the most about this series is the little moments you’ve fit in-between all the bigger, more intense ones. I’d make this ask longer than it already is by listing my favorites, but I wanted to make sure I mentioned how much like ‘em.

Ahhh thank you so so much!!! I absolutely love hearing your thoughts! <3 I can't remember when you sent me this ask, so I think I might have posted a chapter or two since you sent this - so I hope you've enjoyed those chapters just as much as all the others!

With regards to Grace - I'm so SO happy that you love her in this story because I just adore writing her! I was actually very concerned that I would accidentally end up side-lining her when writing the stories, simply because she's obviously not in all of the s12 episodes that have inspired all the fics. But when I started the au, I made notes on pretty much all the main cast to figure out what they wanted, what they needed, and some flaws and strengths that they had, so I could work out how to show their development over the whole series - and so I did that for Grace too! Which actually opened up SUCH an interesting thing, because in the process of deep diving on her character (by watching the episodes where she's there/talked about) and also on Aaron's character, I could sort of...extrapolate a few things. Like if Graham says in Resolution that family means everything to Grace, then how much must it have broken her heart when everything happened with Aaron, and Ryan's mum dying? And then, of course, there's stuff I could extrapolate from the set up of the story - like, the Doctor lowkey lives with them half the time for the sake of the plot, but what kind of person invites someone like the Doctor into their life like that? And asking that question gave me some really interesting answers about Grace as well as Graham.

Regarding character voices though - I'm genuinely SO glad that everyone rings true to how they sound in the show! I think my trick with that is that I can kind of 'hear' the characters in my head - and some characters are easier than others. Grace is quite distinctive, for some reason, so if I can 'hear' her saying the lines, then the lines make the cut. Same with all the others. I actually find, of all people, Jack to be one of the hardest characters to 'hear' in my head - except for in Campervan AU, where I find him really easy to write! It's extremely odd. (Also SKSKSK Vilma and Benni BLESS you actually have to thank my beta for saving them - she was like 'make grace being there make a difference', which I really liked, so they got to live!)

And then ahhHH yessss Gat and Koschei!! I'm so glad Kosch comes over as a tangible presence, even when he's absent - I feel like that comes from me being as obsessed with him as the Doctor is, bless. But ahhh yess they're so much fun to write, honestly. I'm excited for you guys to see more of them!!

My reply is getting long lol but in short THANK YOU SO MUCH YOU ARE SO KIND!! It is really REALLY nice to hear all your thoughts on this honestly - sorry it's taken me a little while to reply to this one but I wanted to reply properly <3 <3 I think Part 6 is definitely the most 'in-between moments' fic of the whole series - it's in its nature! - so I really hope you're enjoy this one in particular before we go off into the last leg of the journey with parts 7-9 (which will be chaotic haha)

[away-ward]

hi, i’ve always been too shy to comment or send asks before but i’m making this my first bc i wanted to let you know how much i appreciate your work! i read your hell yeah fanfic a couple of months ago & when i stumbled upon it again recently & found a whole master list worth of fanfics added, i was super ecstatic & read all of them in one go hahaha

my personal favourites are reality & arrival <3 reality bc their conversation in the carfax room was so in line w their characters, it just re-emphasised how much i wish we got more of willemmy outside of blackchurch. having a scene like that in nightfall would’ve really grounded them as a couple in the present. all the snippets from the first three books plus the high school chapters of willemmy were such good buildup only to have the willalexaydin bs instead 🤧 anyways, i have a soft spot for arrival too. to have the damon & indie dynamic play out like that makes so much sense! damon & will already have such a strong & unique bond so for will, of all his friends, to have the first girl in the group would definitely make their relationship extra special.

on a side note, your post abt aydin being a few years older than canon made me lose my shit btw since i completely agree 😩 whenever i’m in my devil’s night brain rot, i always pictured him like 6 years older especially w how penelope douglas was trying to portray aydin & emory together. oh & your timeline for the character’s ages made me happy! it never occurred to me for will to be the oldest of the horsemen (which i’ve seen a few ppl comment on). given his may birthdate, i just assumed he was born the following year after michael, kai, & damon were. i mean, it makes sense right?? he’s the baby of the four. i could be wrong but then that would mean damon is the youngest which i refuse to imagine for some reason given all the shit he’s been up to 💀

this post is getting longer than i expected & i could probably continue rambling on but i just wanted to thank you again for your contribution 🙏🏽 this fandom has practically a drought in fan fiction unless it’s for second gen but seeing as kaibanks & willemmy (my biases) were done dirty in the series, your account has truly been such a gem to follow.

It’s nice to hear from you!! I’ve definitely been on the fence about whether to reach out to someone or not but I’m so happy that you decided to leave this message. It really made my day.

I feel that ‘reality’ is the closest I’ve ever come to getting Em and Will right. I also a snuck in a few references that are dear to me, so it’s special in my eyes, despite its needed edits. It was originally a request, so I can’t take all the credit for it, but I’m just so I’m happy that it’s one of your favs.

And ‘arrival’ has been a personal HC of mine for a long time. It took me a while to get out onto a page, so it’s great to hear that it’s struck home with others too.

A lot of my fics are borne out of that ‘we didn’t get to see this in the book but we should have’ and ‘what would have happened if…?’ feeling. Having had the chance to speak to other fans, I know I’m not alone in that, so it’s nice that so many people are finding my fics...fulfilling? I know other writers could do better, but until then, I’m happy to be around to fill a void.

Ahhh! The aydin age thing! Thank you! Anytime Aydin’s age is brought up in NF I’m like, ‘no you’re lying. You’re, like, 32/33.” But nope. He’s 26???? smh. Missed opportunity. It could have done so much for his character to just age him up a bit.

Regarding the timeline…as much as I would have loved for Will to the oldest…I think he is the baby. For clarification, I think Michael, Kai, and Damon were born in 1994 and Will in 1995. I didn’t want to give actual years in the post because I think the vibe that PD was going for was a timeless/infinite ‘this could be taking place at any point in time’. except for the points where they put in things that would date the books, the years and timing were purposefully left vague. I didn’t want to take that away by giving concrete dates. But I stayed up til an ungodly hour on a work night, going over this stupid timeline with a friend who has never read the series because trying to untangle it in my head was driving me absolutely nuts. So I had to record it somewhere.

In the chart, they all start the school year the same age* and then end the school year the same age, but within that nine months, it goes Michael, Kai, Damon all before Devil’s Night on October 30th, the new year, and finally Will in May.

That being said, at one point we did get stuck on whether Will was actually the oldest and I loved what it did for his character too. If at some point, he got held back a grade, it would go to why he’s a bit insecure, feels like he’s the dumbest in the group, and doesn’t trust himself to act on his own. I kinda wish Will had some sort of learning disability like dyslexia or ADHD because I think it would contribute to his lack of interest in school and strengthen his addiction storyline. None of that is canon and I don’t HC that it is. I just kinda wish it was there…

But according to my calculations, Will is the baby of the group, and of his family. That, along with his privilege, can also explain why he is the why he is.

Also Damon being the youngest would be hilarious and I wish it were so.

No worries, I as a wordy rambler myself, I appreciate everything you had to say. Feel free to drop by any time. I talk way too much, but it’s nice to get this devil’s night brain rot, as you so accurately termed, out to others who understand.

Thank you so much for your message and have a great day!

*well, if the school year starts in August, which some places in the US do. Others start in September, in which case, Michael will already be the next age up at the start of the year.

[m1ckeyb3rry]

I’m speed typing this so I can go read that one shot ASAP SHSHSHSHSH I saw your post about the word count LAMOAOA hoping this doesn’t come at any (or any big) cost to you but I kinda live for when your word count goes way beyond expectations HAHAHA like that’s how I know Mira is cooking a five star meal…..

Bro Rika’s page threw me for a loop like wdym implied murder of her parents??? And all this other interesting info…

FR!! It’s honestly hard to find any constructive criticism for any big series because all the discourse is drowned out by hate train bandwagon hoppers etc

Wait yeah you’re so right because why do I have to wait for an interview to understand what’s happening?? So frustrating especially since those not in Japan don’t have easy access to interviews usually either…also the fact that it took them SO LONG to confirm it’s been like three years??

And ugh in the same boat :(( It’s so popular that whenever a chapter comes out it floods all my feeds but I’m def not actively looking for chapter links…

OO I SEE WHAT YOU MEAN!! I think it’s because as you said Rin’s so invested in soccer right now as his motivation and goal in life but sae has kinda already figured out his role in soccer ish..? Like how he now knows he’s trying to be midfielder but also maybe something about him already having secured a role in a club outside and has a career makes it feel a bit different…

Ugh TABIEITA COMEBACK WHENNN (speaking of did you see the newest panels?? There was like one Karasu one but he looks good LMAO) and I MISS THE SMIRK where’s my cheeky dude….s2 please hurry…

And OUU TRUE!! I completely forgot about the order thing?? I was always a little confused like was it really one by one and how long did they have to wait for the next person to go in??

Glad you’re feeling better!!! Honestly yeah allergy meds are so debilitating sometimes like if I know I need to be awake or have something scheduled it’s like…lemme take half a dosage because I need to be AWAKE LMAO

OK GOODBYE OFF TO READING WILL BE BACK WITH COMMENTARY!!!!

-Karasu anon

AHHH i’m just a chronic rambler so i always end up writing way more than i plan to but no it’s not at any cost to me!! it actually makes me happy to see smth i’ve written getting to be a high word count hehe. the only ‘cost’ ig would be that it takes a bit longer before i can post but as long as you all are willing to wait i don’t mind writing lots (plus then i feel less bad about randomly disappearing and taking writing breaks because i’ve left a lot to be enjoyed LMAO)

SO MUCH STUFF AND NONE OF IT WAS ELABORATED ON!! and yeah even legit criticism or analysis gets put down as hate and people jump on people who do that when they’re just examining the story with a constructive lens. i agree that interviews absolutely should not be how you convey key info!! especially because they’re SO unreliable and so easy to twist. like people will make up a headcanon and say that the author said it in an interview and it’ll become so popular that everyone accepts it as fact even though there’s no source for it and it literally never happened?? i can’t think of specific examples but i know this happened a LOTT with the attack on titan fandom back in the day and i’m sure it happens w jjk as well.

YES I AGREE sae has like established himself almost?? he’s not striving for anything anymore and he’s been recognized by some of the best strikers in the world (ex luna from the world 5) + he’s a ng11 so it just feels to me like he’s kinda relaxing?? he has the time to think about other things just not the motivation/will, but it’s easier to write him gaining an interest in someone than justifying rin giving up on the pursuit of his goal for another person. i also really like to write love interests that are down BAD (or end up being so anyways) which would make sense w sae being lonely in a foreign country more than rin who would prioritize soccer over everything (as he did in cherry tree when he told y/n to come back to him after the world cup or smth like that iirc)

I DID SEE KARASU!! one thing abt pxg vs bm he’s been having a panel or two per chapter which has been rlly nice. we got to see his smirky little icon at least?? i miss tabieita being together and karasu being a jackass though…forever heartbroken that nagireo got to be the headliners or a team instead of tabieita…MISSED OPPORTUNITY 😭💔

i think it was probably not one at a time — there were probs multiple fields, but i doubt they had 300 that they could use so everyone could go at once!! they probably had like 10 (arbitrary number) and as people were finishing other people would enter, so someone like kiyora might’ve just entered in an earlier round than karasu, who probably waited a bit to feel out the situation or smth. shidou was probably too busy being up to random nonsense to go early which is why he was like 111 despite being bllk’s number 2 😭

I’M EXCITED TO READ THE COMMENTARY HEHE LET ME RESPOND TO THAT RN 🫡

[ramu-ego]

AHHH JEEZ A 2 DAYS LATE REPLY MY BAD, i def wouldve responded sooner but i suddenly got busy, missed camping in this little blog here 💔😭 (yes 2 days is a lot in my book LMAO)

when i saw sir nighteye, i looked at ego and i was like. Yea. Yea that’s a type alright LMFAOO.. IVE MEVER SEEN THE REST EXCEPT DAZAI BUT MAYBE THATS SIGN FOR ME TO OPEN MY TASTES A BIT MORE..

100% agree on the ego paragraph!!..!.!?! EVEN IF I WASNT THE BIGGEST FAN ITS SOO OBVS HE CARES.. one day imma see an ego appreciation paragraph analysis explaining every single detail abt what he did and i wouldnt be surprised if that post is from you LMFAO

god i’ve never heard nikko’s eng voice but i’m def not looking forward to it — i read the nikko post though, GOODD LOORDDD may of changed my perspective of nikko on ruining him but still, gotta stay loyal to my favs (a lie, i’m a whore and would jump around but niko just aint it for me LMFAO)

god yea, my timezones been like .. the direct opposite of most people so i wasn’t surprised to see ours be different, JUST CRAZY HOW KUCH OF A DIFFERENCE IT ACTUALLY WAS .. fuckk guess we can twin in being last to almost everything then huh? the only win i get is just having an asian timezone to be early to actual content LMFAO

i respect liking dubs!!!! i used to watch dubs for like, romance anime? toradora and shit when i was WAYYY younger!! HONESTLY I SEARCHED UP ALL UR RECS AND III THINKKK i may start with mob psycho first since it peaks my interests the most! but i’ll def check fire force since it’s one of ur favs, i’ll tell you what i think abt it when i actually DO start it (chronic procrastinator, i even procrastinated writing this message despite how much i wanted to chat LOL)

I HAVE REALLY BAD MEMORY SO IVE GOT NO IDEA WHICH GUY I WAS REFERRING TO.. curly hair??? black hair??? looked kinda dead inside??? I THINK IT MIGHTVE BEEN W GAGAMARU AND RAICHI.. his hair looked kinda like it hadn’t been washed in weeks ngl

IM HAPPY TO READ YOUR RESPONSES HONESTLY, SUPEPRRR FUN and it feels like im having a genuine one on one convo even if we are like — replying to it like letters or sum LMFAO, guess we going back to the past era for this! BEINNG A HAIRDRESSER FOR 5 YEARS IS SOO COOL?? you’re only 25 now so like — did you pick this job up early on??

i’ve never watched haikyuu but i could see a lot of people felt differently abt blue lock compared to haikyuu, blue lock kinda increases that competitive spirit that’s rare to find in that. team work stuff?

since i felt as if my replies were kinda ass this time, i got news! just watched blue lock episode 11 and good fucking lord this shit was good — yea i was worried about bad animation but shit POPPED OFF.. and rin itoshi :?/!.?.!?! i screamed creamed probably was thinkign with only my metaphorical dick from that point on because good lord i want this man HELP.. it’s been like a year or two(?) since i first saw rin itoshi in the manga but good lord when i saw him animated and even spoke, i felt sum ROARING DOWN THERE … (excuse my language i only think with my lower region!) this awakened sum in mme.. don’t be surprised once i start sending genuine requests and thirsts

since i even joked about this being like a literal letter, maybe i should start signing off like one!!!

from 💌 anon or something LMFAO

NO NO TWO DAYS IS NOTHING I CAN BE AWFUL AT RESPONDING-

-I am so bad at like focusing to respond so trust me no apology needed bc I'm chronically bad at looking at a message and then giving myself anxiety over it. It's something I'm working on 😂😭

Dazai is mildly the odd man out except for the dude with black 'n white hair they're kinda con losers together but I'd say the over arching theme is "they look like they bite...but not really" I have no sense of danger I want the weird looking men no one wants 😂 but no seriously all the fandoms they're from are really good highly recommend Dr Stone and Fire Force if you enjoy Blue Lock. They are *chefs kiss*

do you know how hard it is to keep my twitching fingers on my keyboard to not rant about Ego??? I could do it I could go on and on about this man but- asdfghjkl- I'm controlling myself! mostly bc i don't wanna share my weird husband shhh that's not the point shhh he's my ugly little greenbean

i blame my friend on the niko bullshit!! she went on about how perfectly he'd fit that pervy hentai protagonist who like- steals panties- and cries when he gets caught and all that bullshit?? now I can't unsee it?? he's so stealing panties and putting under his pillow to sleep with only to make up a loud sob story when he gets caught. He's a perv and now I can't unsee it and I hate it 😩

really you have the problem of conflicting timezones?? I'm genuinely surprised bc like- everyone I talk to is like bare minimum in Europe and further over as I sit my lonely self in the United States. Count your blessings bc at least you don't live in the States we're awful 😂 we can be opposite timezone buddies like long drawn out lovers from two forlorn families writing drawn out poetic letters to each other to be sent by snail mail as we try to survive the black plague! or you know...something like pen pals 😂

my peanut brain suffers with subbed I can't look at the animation and take in what they're saying T^T I did it with Jujutsu Kaisen when it came out and can honestly say I don't recall anything I watched bc I was reading subs. RIP this is why I have to read the mangas </3 Oh but Mob is so good!!! It's one of my favorites and my comfort animes I can't tell you how many times I've watched it?? I think like- seven times? Eight times? Easing your way into the list makes Mob Psycho a good starter. But no seriously I cannot stress it enough how much I love Fire Force. Plus cursed knowledge, English dubbed Ego is Fire Forces main character and he is a cinnamon roll of a good boy and a total 180 of Ego's character 😂 Equal parts blessed and cursed when you hear Ego being a good boy

a lot of them look dead inside but dying so hard at gagamaru being put in the dead eye category?? my wife is in love with him so now I'm dying over the dead eye thing 😂 tbh they're so many characters I still have to look back and know who's who

you will find out I can't keep my mouth shut so if you get me talking I will put in that much effort 😂 But actually sweet I'm not 25 I'm 27 (had to double check with my wife I lost track) So the five years of hairdressing isn't too out there but I did pick it up after two yrs of college when I dropped out bc US education system suuuucks. Love hair but covid made people entitled shitheads and didn't want to spend nine hours a day with jackasses to come home to a baby so I just swapped entitled costumers to an entitled baby XD

haikyuu is...cute. like- ok i dont really do slice of life animes and heavily dont do sports anime (haikyuu and blue lock are literally the only ones) but Haikyuu is definitely not the same as Blue Lock. They spend a lot of time explaining how the game works where as Blue Lock its kinda "you know how soccer works or sucks to be you" which I like bc the one thing I do get tired with haikyuu is the over explanation of things. It's a cute show though! I could only watch it once thru but its fun when you haven't watched it before

UGH IM SO WORRIED OVER WHO IS GONNA PLAY RIN I'VE BEEN CHEWING MY NAILS OVER IT- Their casting director has been so good so?? Like?? I know it'll be good but at the same time?? I'm still so worried?? I mean- They convinced me to love Ego even after knowing who his VA was (and what I watched him previously in was NOT anything like his Ego role) but still- Rin's my baby?? Rin's my little bratty temper tantrum baby i wanna smoosh?? He has to be perfect?? More so than anyone else?? Pleading with the casting gods Rin sounds good or I will sob 😭 And I'm like- Have no idea are they doing 12 episode season or a 24 episode season. I need answers T^T

pls send me Rin thirsts I can't shut the fuck up about him

[stringwarmy]

BETTER CHECK ON YOUR NEIGHBOR SOON!

[sparklingchan]

Ruby Eyes|| Seo Changbin (Stray Kids)

Pairing : Reader(fem.) X Changbin

Word count : 7.3k+ 

Warnings : Mention of an accident, cuss words, divorce, a single kiss.

Genre : Romance, Soulmate AU, fluff, angst, best friends to lovers.

Description: Seo Changbin has done everything in his capacity to remove and replace you, yet fate seems to have different plans for the both of you.

A/N : Hello everyone ahhh I know it’s been so long y’all. So many things have been going on including exams and internships and I just didn’t have the patience to write :(( This one shot was written as a part of a collab event by wonderful, dear Ro! 

I hope y’all like it!

"So, how's it being back, y/n?"

Your dad looks older now than he did the last time you saw him - probably two years ago, when you were leaving the country.

You missed him, really. You missed his warmth and his wisdom and how he was a sharp contrast to your mother, more calm and composed. Sometimes you wonder how your mother had even managed to get your custody after their divorce.

"Okay, I guess." You lie.

You didn't want your father to know how your feelings are all over the place, ranging from sadness to anger and longingness.

It's a weird thing to be experiencing such a cocktail of emotions when you'd convinced yourself these feelings had disappeared the day you left the old neighborhood, seven years ago. You had not felt any attachment towards the new neighborhood that you and your mother then went on to live for the next two years before you moved abroad for your studies. Yet you feel nostalgic now, as your father drives you through your old old neighborhood.

"How's mom?" He asks, taking a left to a road all too familiar to you, "Is she still going to therapy?"

You nod, "She's getting better, I think. The new country seems to have changed her. The therapy is helping too. She has many friends there now. "

At first when you were offered a job at one of the biggest publishing companies in the world, you were ecstatic. But everything soon died down when you found out you were posted at a branch in the country you'd left behind. It was your mother who'd convinced you to take it.

"I know you don't like being back, y/n." Your dad smiles sadly when he pulls over infront of your old house.The house that contains years of secrets, tears, lies and whispered confessions in front of the mirror stands in front of you, as grand and pretty as ever. It looks different but similar enough to make you tear up a tad bit.

"But I'm glad you're here. I really am." He says, "I renovated the house a little when you told me you were moving back. I hope it's okay."

You smile at the old man, wrapping your arms around him, "Thanks, dad. I missed you. I'm glad you're here, too."

He pecks your forehead, "I missed you, too, love."

Moving in doesn't take a lot of time since your dad had already set up everything. You just had to get some of your stuff and you were ready to kick start your stay.

That evening, your father leaves after making you promise to call him if anything happens at all and when the front door closes, you find yourself in the company of your old room.

You lie on your bed, eyes fixed on the ceiling as you hum an old tune to yourself. And without meaning to, you find yourself thinking about him; The man you hadn't seen or talked to for a whole seven years. The man who'd tried his best to stay in touch with you yet gave up when you didn't reciprocate the same.

A horrific realization then dawns on you,

He'd obviously replaced you now.

The familiar clouds of grief loom over you, threatening to engulf you any moment now.

No. Not now, please.

Getting up from your bed immediately, you shake your head as you make your way to the mirror- the mirror that had encountered more honest tears and smiles and words than any human ever had. You stare at your reflection as tears escapes your eyes, the bright red iris of your right eye staring back at you when you rub your tears off.

You shiver.

"Shit, I forgot to wear the contacts."

Quickly grabbing your lenses from your bag, you put them on, concealing the scary blood red color of your right eye. You take two long strides across the room and pulling your favorite black hoodie over your head, you walk out of the door.

By the time you manage to leave the house, it's already 10:30 in the evening. A quiet calmness has fallen over the town, as the shops and restaurants near the market square slowly start closing up. Your feet are as if on autopilot, taking you to that one place you know would still be open; Yang's Café.

And rightly so, the smell of freshly brewed coffee reaches your nostrils when you walk through their main door, past the group of chatty teenagers waiting outside. This place hasn't changed much, you realize, the brown and golden hues of the place and the vintage coffee cups collection in the far corner of the Cafe are still the same. The only difference is that you're no longer here with your best friend right after school, you are here all alone on an evening too quiet for your liking.

"Y/n? Is that you?"

When you turn around to face the owner of the voice, you are stunned.

"Jeongin?"

Jeongin's family has owned this Cafe for three generations now, from his great-grandparents, his grandparents, his parents and soon enough it'll pass down to him. As a kid, you remember often playing with Jeongin at the park and teaming up with him during quiz competition. He was always sweet and always smiley.

But the handsome young man that stands in front of you doesn't resemble the Jeongin you once used to know, not even a little bit.

"What..what happened to you!" You exclaim, taking his face in your hands, "Where are the braces! And the specs and wow, would you look at the blue hair!"

Jeongin can only let out a few giggles as you continue squishing his face and complaining how big he's grown in only over seven years.

The customers give you weird stares but only the heavens above know how genuinely happy you are to see Jeongin, albeit the fact you almost couldn't recognize him there for a second.

"What have you done to my child?" You mutter when you've finally calmed down and Jeongin takes you to your seat.

"I have a mother, y/n, thank you very much," he laughs, taking a seat opposite to yours, loosening the Barista apron around his torso, "And I missed you too."

You attempt to pinch his cheeks but he is quick to dodge.

"So how have you been?" He asks through giggly breaths.

You sigh, "I'm good... I feel weird being back here, honestly but I think I'll get used to it soon. What about you?"

"I've been good. Graduated a few months back, now I'm working here full time." He ushers over a waiter, "What would you like, y/n?"

You don't even think for a second while responding, "An iced Americano, please."

The waiter notes your order and walks away before Jeongin pinches your arm teasingly.

"Ouch. What?"

"Old habits die hard, huh? You always used to drink an iced coffee whenever we hung out here. I am glad to see nothing much has changed," Jeongin laughs, "You and Changbin, too!"

That one name sends your entire mind into a frenzy. Changbin. Seo Changbin. The love of your life. The man who you wouldn't even go to school without, the man who had saved you from a terrible accident, also the man who probably no longer even remembers you.

And you realise, despite everything, your heart yearns for him, still- for you wouldn't be in so much pain at the mention of his name otherwise.

Jeongin seems to have noticed your discomfort because he immediately changes the topic, "Anyway, you have to try our new chocolate cake. It's heavenly, I'm telling you."

Your reason to leave the neighborhood wasn't a secret, really. It was public knowledge that your mother had blamed Changbin for the fatal accident you almost had.

You're grateful for what Jeongin does, and try your best to engage in conversations about the neighborhood and old gossip you'd missed out on. Yet all you want to do is drive out of the damn Cafe and find changbin.

"Y/n?"

Or maybe, Changbin will find you.

Behind Jeongin, you see the blurry image of a man that had once caused you great misery yet you had never felt as happy as when you were with him.

"Hi..hi, Changbin." You stammer as you see the said man walk towards your table.

The seven years have as if done some magic on him, because the Changbin that walks towards you in no way resembles your high school best friend.

With thick buff arms, new ear piercings and silver jewelry gracing his wrists and fingers, you have a hard time actually accepting the fact that Seo Changbin is really there, in front of you.

"Been long, huh?" He grins, but it doesn't quite reach his eyes and somewhere in the depths of your conscience, you realize it might have been your fault. You'd done everything in your capacity to break apart from this friendship, ignoring his calls, changing your number, even going as far as blocking him on all social media.

So, did you really expect him to welcome you back with open arms when you had caused him so much pain?

Jeongin brings an extra chair for Changbin to sit on and soon, the three of you are talking, maybe not like the old, happy days but it's still better than nothing. Changbin looks at you everytime you throw your head back and laugh, your eyes squeezing shut as his heart clenches in his chest.

You are really back home.

"So what have you been doing? I told you guys about me." Jeongin says, stealing a bite off of Changbin's cheesecake.

"Oh..you know," Changbin giggles, the tip of his ears turning a light pink shade.

You raise your eye brows in confusion.

"Been busy with the wedding and all."

Your heart drops. "Wedding? W-whose wedding?" You try to laugh it off but it's very evident from the way you're gripping your glass of iced Americano that it has affected you. A lot more than you actually thought.

"I'm getting married, y/n," Changbin smiles, "I'm so glad you could be around for the wedding."

*

Your grief stricken self has not gotten up from the bed since last night and you're thankful to Jeongin for finally checking up on you or else you would have gone deeper into the spiral hole of despair.

"Are you really going to be like this, y/n?"

You hate being miserable on the very second day of your stay. You hate depending on Jeongin. But you can barely move without bursting out into tears,so it seems as though there's no better idea than have someone take care of you at the moment.

"I'm sorry, Jeongin. " You manage to speak when he places a bag full of snacks and drinks on the dining table, "And thanks."

Jeongin chuckles, "Don't thank me, just yet. Guess who wants to meet up with you?"

Your eyes widen for a split second as you sit up on the couch, "Who?!"

No, he wouldn't, would he?

"It's not the person you think, y/n. Calm down." He laughs, "It's Bang Chan. Your senior, you remember?"

Oh, yes, the infamous Bang Chan. Shy smiles, dimples, curly hair, angelic eyes. Yeah, you remember the school's heartthrob. Very clearly.

"I was talking to him this morning and he said he'd be very glad to catch up with you again." Jeongin settles beside you, "It's not a date, y/n. He's an old friend. It wouldn't hurt, would it? You can't possibly sit here all day long crying about him."

You open your mouth to argue, but only air slips out and you realise you don't have anything to defend your miserable state with. You knew this was coming; when you cut off all ties with Seo Changbin, you knew this was coming.

Jeongin is right; you need to go out and meet new people.

You roll your eyes before pinching Jeongin's cheeks, "Fine. Give him my number."

He responds by pulling your cheeks as well.

*

The first day of work is weirdly gut wrenching.

You hadn't expected yourself to be this nervous but here you are, muttering under your breath as you make way towards the office.

"You'll be okay, y/n," you breathe in, "You've worked hard for this." And breathe out.

A few more minutes of self pep talking and you see all your hard work and expectations go down the drain as you feel a few droplets of rain fall onto your head. You look up and the dark, heavy clouds greet you.

Bloody brilliant.

You see the office goers around you jog quickly to the nearest shelter but you're short on luck today as your gaze falls on your watch and you realize you don't have enough time to wait for the rain to pass.

So you grab your office bag, cover your head with that and make a run for it.

The sole of your high heel shoes dig into your feet and a throbbing pain shoots through your body, as you wince. Note to yourself - never wear heels to office again.

You also secretly pray to the gods that your contact lens don't get washed off. Turning up at your new office on the first day with a blood red iris doesn't feel too fun, really.

"Do you need a lift?"

You had been so busy running to your office that you don't notice when a black car drives toward you and the driver rolls down the window, offering you a smile.

Seo Changbin.

Your heart skips a few beats.

"Y/n, do you need a lift?"

You blink back to reality when he clicks his fingers in front of you, "I-I mean if that's okay with you."

Changbin smiles, pointing to the passenger's seat, "Come on in."

When you're comfortably seated in his car, using his spare towel to wipe off the water from your face and hair, his questions start-

"So.." He steps on the break when the traffic light turns red, "How have you been?"

You look at the digital clock displayed on the cars' LED, and sigh. You're late to work and you're stuck in traffic with the one man you'd rather not be stuck in traffic with. Brilliant.

"Good." Your eyes are focused on the cars outside the window, "You?"

There's a moment of silence before he speaks again, "Fine."

Fine? Just Fine? Shouldn't he be over the clouds, now that the wedding is finally around the corner?

"Okay.."

"Actually, I meant to ask you earlier, y/n." He turns to you, a gentle smile playing at his lips, "I am throwing a party this weekend. I'd love it if you could come by. And I could introduce you to her."

You sink back into your seat, biting your lip, wondering if you want to ever know who her is. Your peace of mind is more important than meeting your ex crush's fiance, right? And if you do end up going to the party, whom would you hang out with? It's not like you know any of his rich friends and cousins and there's no way you'd hang out with Changbin and the said fiance.

You are about to respectfully reject the invitation when a sudden, seemingly good idea pops into your head.

Bang Chan.

You nod, shrugging, "Okay. I'll be there."

You clasp your hands together as he continues driving and you look out the window, unable to suppress the bubbling excitement.

"Great, then." He replies, suspiciously.

*

The evening of the party finally arrives, much to your dismay, you find yourself seated next to Chan. He's just the same as the guy in your memory; a gentleman.

"You look pretty, y/n." He had greeted you as he held the car door open for you, "I'm glad we could meet up."

His words turn your cheeks into a darker shade of red but your heart doesn't beat quite as furiously as you'd expect it to.

Muttering a small thank you, you seat comfortably in the car while Chan drives towards Changbin's family's old Farmhouse on the outskirts of the city. You've been there before - during summer holidays, he would take you there with his family. That place was only filled with happy memories of sunshine, swimming pools, watermelon juice and bonfires.

You swallow the grief that comes along with these memories.

"Are we here already?" Chan pulls over in a familiar driveway not even ten minutes later, jogging up to your door and clicking it open, like the gentleman he is.

"Yeah, we're here." Chan smiles, "Very less traffic tonight."

You guys walk through the huge metallic gate, making your way through the main door of the house.

"Uh..." People are crowded mostly around the front door and in the front yard, so you and Chan have to push and squeeze your way into the Farmhouse. You hate the feeling of sweaty bodies pressing against you (or holding Chan's hand for stability) but desperate situations call for desperate measures.

"I hate it here." You mutter when you later find yourself by the pool side, swirling the drink that you don't even plan on drinking and looking at all the flushed faces having the time of their lives.

Thankfully, Chan happens to be on the same boat as you.

"I'm sorry I dragged you here, Chan. We could have just gone for a movie."

Chan giggles, "Hey, it's alright. I don't mind, I'm glad I could spend some time with you after so many years."

His eyes shine and dimples deepen.

You whisper, "Yeah, me too."

Chan is a handsome man, good at all kinds of sport, good at arts, very smart and intelligent yet there's a part of you that knows you'd never be able to reciprocate his flirtatious words. It's sad, really, but that's just how life is.

"Wow, those two seem to be having the time of their lives." Chan chuckles, pointing at someone behind you.

It's quite dark outside, the only source of light being a few decorative fairylights hung at random places haphazardly.

Hiding behind a huge, tall bush, you see a couple, kissing each other like it were the last day on the planet.

The guy's hands roam all over the woman's body and the woman is so loud that even you could hear her sighs and moans. When she pulls away to catch her breath for a second, Chan asks you, "You know her?"

"Nope. I don't know either of them."

You look away; what kind of creep looks at a happy couple like that? (Not a creep, just a lonely and touch starved person)

"Should we check out the dinner table?" Chan suggests and you agree with a nod, "I hope there's no crowd there."

As expected, there actually isn't a crowd there - there's only Changbin, sitting and nibbling on a pizza slice while scrolling through the phone.

The moment your eyes land on him, your feet as if stop on their own and your heart bangs furiously against your chest.

He's breathtakingly gorgeous.

By the time you debate in your head whether or not you want to sit there and fill your stomach, Chan has already made his way to Changbin.

"Hey, Bin!" He greets him with a smile.

Changbin looks at Chan with an unamused smile, the same one from your high school days, when these two were named the biggest rivals on campus. You wonder if somewhere deep in his heart, Changbin had still not let go of that rivalry.

"Hey, Changbin." You manage to whisper before sitting beside Chan.

He looks almost angry.

"You should have the pizza. It's good." He mutters, turning to pass you a slice of pizza on a plate, "Help yourself, Chan."

Yup, there it is. The Seo Changbin that would kill to be on top. You feel worse about dragging Chan here now when neither of you were having a good time.

"Thanks, mate. " Chan replies.

Your ears ring with the sound of approaching footsteps, and when a pretty girl comes walking in and takes Changbin in her arms, your heart stings. Like a fresh wound.

"Y/n.." Chan whispers to you as you watch the two collide in a loving embrace, Changbin smiling at her and running his fingers through her hair.

Your heart hurts at how happy and content he looks.

You could have had that, a part of you thinks, if you weren't such a coward, it would have been you instead of her.

"Y/n," Chan calls you again.

"What?" Your tone is harsher than you intended, "What happened?"

You think Chan is about to give you the whole it-is-time-to-move-on talk but he doesn't, instead he points at the girl and whispers,

"It's her. The girl we saw earlier."

The rest of the night is blurry to you, all conversations, all gazes, all thoughts just feel ....like an awkward dream.

"We have to tell Changbin."

You're sitting at Yang's Cafe at 1 am the same night, watching Jeongin's brother guide his staff to clean the place up.

"I agree." Chan says, biting the inside of his cheeks.

While you, on the other hand, are completely zoned out, staring at the glass of water placed in front of you and watching the droplets on its surface race each other.

"Y/n, what do you think?" Jeongin asks when you don't take part in their discussions.

You sigh, "I don't know. I really don't. As much as it troubles me that Changbin is being cheated on, I don't want to get involved in their personal relationship. "

"Let's not tell anyone for now, then. But someday in the future, before that goddamn wedding, we have to tell him. He deserves to know." Chan agrees.

You purse your lips and close your eyes.

Chan is right.

Changbin deserves to know the truth.

*

"So, how's it being back in town, y/n?"

"It feels good. Weird, but good." You smile at your old teacher, "How have you been, Miss Oh?"

Your teacher adds sugar to the cup of tea in her hands and then looks at you, smiling - the same old smile, except with more wrinkles now, "I've been good. I'm retiring next year so I'm glad I could see you before that, huh?"

You nod your head, "I'm glad too. The school hasn't changed much, unlike what I had expected."

Other than the addition of some new labs and libraries, and the change in color of the walls, everything was still the same. No place in this old school building feels foreign to you.

"Ugh, these administration people I tell you, y/n, they're cheap idiots. They won't spend a single penny on infrastructure unless it's absolutely necessary." She complains as you giggle in response,

"They've always been like that."

Miss Oh gulps some tea from her cup, "Anyway, y/n, I have a class now. I would have loved to stay and chat, really, but I'm afraid that might get me in to trouble."

"No issues, Miss Oh. Go ahead. I'll just roam around the school a little more though, if that's okay."

After Miss Oh leaves, you step out of her cabin and walk the familiar corridors, reminiscent of the memories you have here. Studying a few minutes before tests, bunking classes, running to class when you're late, hanging out with your friends- these corridors have seen you grow in love, in friendship, in life. There's absolutely nothing that could ever replace these memories.

Mindlessly, you wander around the third floor, walking toward the end of the corridor before stopping in front of an old door, way too familiar to not try and push open.

While a part of you tells you it might not be a good idea to go into that room again, there's also a part of you that thinks it's a bloody brilliant idea.

Pushing the door open, you walk into the old dusty room, sighing in relief when you see a particular set of letters still carved on the wall.

CB and YN were here.

You finally let your tears run free, as you crouch down to touch the letters.

Your heart aches at how much you miss Changbin being an important part of your life and how much you miss being his top priority. And your heart aches for Changbin, who is so in love with his fiancé and has no idea he's being cheated on.

You almost want to leave this town and go back to your mother, away from this terrible mess. Yet you don't find it in yourself to act on those thoughts.

Maybe, it is your fear of abandoning him once again that stops you. Or, maybe it is simply the unconditional love you harbor for him.

* Surprisingly, Yang's Cafe is near empty that afternoon.

"Did something happen, y/n? You look really worried." Changbin has his arms crossed over his chest, looking at you with a tense frown.

"Um..it's kind of complicated." You sigh. For a second, you see the genuine concern and innocence on his face, and you wonder if it is worth telling him the truth at all because it would kill you to see him lose his smile but then, his engagement band shines on his ring finger and your stomach turns unpleasantly.

He has to know. From you. In person.

"Changbin, that day at your party...I saw something. " You whisper, "Something I shouldn't have. I should have turned a blind eye really but I can't. My conscience won't allow it. I'm sorry, Bin."

"Y/n, it's okay, just tell me," he reaches over and wraps his fingers around yours, soft and gentle, "You're scaring me."

"Changbin, your fiance is cheating on you. I-I saw her kissing another man that night. Chan saw it too." You feel sick even having to say this to him, "I think you should confront her."

He sucks in a deep breathe, his face completely void of any emotions as he extracts his hands from yours.

"I know." Is all he says.

His eyes drill into yours, as if accusing you of a crime. He looks angry. Just how he looked the day you brought Chan to his party.

"Why are you still marrying her then?" You question.

He sits up straight, "Y/n, I wish I could explain. But I can't. I'm sorry. And please, stay out of this, okay?"

"Why? Why should I stay out of it?" Your voice threatens to break, "I cannot watch my best friend marry a woman who's not loyal. You deserve better than this, Bin."

A sarcastic chuckle leaves Changbin's lips as he taps his foot against the floor, "Let me correct you, y/n. You were my best friend. Seven years ago. You're not anymore."

Your heart shatters.

A part of you knows you deserve this after ghosting him for seven long years. You were the center of each other's world at one point of time.How could you have been so selfish to ever think that your absence and lack of communication wouldn't hurt him?

"Changbin, I'm sorry for everything I did okay. B-but I never stopped thinking or worrying about you. Even for one second. And I still do."

Changbin pushes his chair back and stands up while you stay frozen in your seat.

"It doesn't seem like that though. "

"What do you even mean!"

"Chan. I mean Chan, y/n." He grabs his phone and purse, "Goodbye, y/n. I hope Chan turns out to be a better friend than I ever did." With that, the love of your life walks out of Yang's Cafe.

And for once, he doesn't even look back.

* "Y/n, don't let go of my hand!"

Changbin is panting heavily, his voice shaking with fear as he desperately tries to hold onto you.

He should have known it would be a bad idea to play badminton near the infamous cliff in your town yet when you had showed him your innocent smile and pleading eyes that day, he just couldn't say no.

Your sweaty hands clutch his, legs dangling over the edge of the cliff. Your free hand grabs the rough surface of the rocky cliff to keep yourself from falling.

You want to cry; but you're too traumatized to even let out more than a few terrified grunts. "Y/n," he yells, "I'm going to try and pull you up one more time, okay?."

You don't even remember how you had ended up in this situation; one second you were happily giggling, playing badminton with Changbin and in the next second, you found yourself hanging by the cliff, praying for your dear life.

With all the energy he has left, he tries to pull you up onto the surface.

"Y/n, you have to free the other hand. Let go of that rock." He pants.

You shake your head vigorously, you know you would not survive if you let go of the rock, you'd fall thousands of feet below into absolute nothingness.

"Y/n, please listen to me." Changbin pleads, now crying, "Please. I'll catch you, I promise. I'll not let you die. Just..please."

Changbin sounds like he's about to give up and in all honesty, you couldn't blame him really. Everytime your eyes fall on what's beneath you, a part of you loses hope.

"Please, come on, y/n," he's still pulling at your free hand, while his right hand awaits desperately to grab the other hand. A mixture or sweat and tears grace his face, making him shine under the bright afternoon sun. Your heart aches at the mere thought of never seeing him again- your friend, your childhood crush, your partner in everything.

Well, here goes nothing then.

You suck in a deep breath and let go the Rock, immediately reaching for Changbin. He is quick to grab both of your arms and in one swift movement, he pulls you up onto the surface.

You fall onto his chest, "Y-you saved me."

Changbin let's out a sob mixed with a relieved giggle, pulling you into his arms.

Your eyes feel heavy, as darkness slowly begins to engulf your vision.

"Oh God, I am so sorry this happened, y/n. It's all my fault." He cries, rubbing your back softly, "I'm so sorry. I thought I was going to lose you, oh God. Fuck!"

You want to tell him that it was never his fault, and that you wouldn't even be alive if not for him but your body betrays you and your body goes limp against his.

*

"I'm not leaving this neighborhood."

Your hands rest angrily on your waist as your mom frantically walks from your closet to where the suitcase is spread open on your bed, shifting all your clothes. She dumps them inside the suitcase, not bothering to fold them even.

"You will do as I say! That Seo Changbin tried to push you off of a cliff and heaven knows what he might do next!" Your mom yells back.

You sit at the edge of your bed, trying to keep yourself calm, "Mom, I told you it was an accident. I fell because I was going after the shuttlecock and didn't notice the cliff. Moreover, why would my best friend want try to kill me!"

Your mom let's out a sarcastic laugh, closing the suitcase roughly. She looks at you with eyes full of contempt and a part of you knows that there's no point in trying to convince her. Her mind is already made. Yet you refuse to go down without a fight.

"You're just sixteen, sweetie. You don't know anything about the cruel world, " your mother sighs, "Rich people are not friends with anyone. Changbin may be nice to you but he only sees you as a pathetic poor girl."

"Mom, we're not even poor!"

"Yes, I know. But those filthy rich businessmen consider everyone below their economic status poor. His family probably doesn't like him being friends with you which is why they asked him to get rid of you."

You think of Mrs. Seo's face in your head, always smiling and always welcoming. You remember Changbin's sister and how she'd promised to let you borrow her dress for this year's winter prom. And you think about Changbin- his face, his smile, his passion for music and his protectiveness towards you. Why would these people ever want to hurt you?

"Mom, you're being ridiculous right now! Do you even hear yourself!" You stand up from the bed, now beyond frustrated.

She walks upto you and grabs your arm tightly, nails digging into your skin as you whimper slightly. "You will listen to me. I am your mother and you will listen to me. " she growls, "Pack the rest of your stuff. We're leaving tomorrow."

When she finally walks out your bedroom, your first instinct is to dress yourself in your black hoodie and track pants, and quietly slip out of the back window of your room.

The cold air nips at your skin, goosebumps slowly appearing on your arms and legs but you're too preoccupied to pay too much heed to it.

You reach Changbin's house and like always, walk up to the backyard and climb upto his room through the emergency staircase.

When Changbin hears knocks on his window, he quickly removes his headphones, "y/n?"

He walks upto the window and let's you in, his heart more at peace now than it's ever been the entire day. The guilt from the accident you had earlier was clawing at his conscience.

His room is mostly dark except for his table lamp. You notice the lyrics notebook lying on the table, open with some scribbles and random phrases on the pages.

"How are you feeling?"

You sit at the edge of his bed, cross legged while he kneels on the floor to get to your level. His hands find yours naturally.

"Fine," you swallow the tears that have been accumulating since you left the house, "Changbin, I- we're leaving tomorrow."

Changbin is taken aback; his heart shattering into billions of pieces at your words.

"Leaving? What do you mean Leaving?" his voice trembles.

You lick your dry lips and tell him everything your mom had told you earlier. When his face twists bitterly, a part of you wishes you'd held your tongue yet a bigger part of you wants Changbin to know the truth now; you didn't want him sending you off with lies in his mind and the fear of him finding out some years later just killed you inside.

"I'm so sorry, Changbin. Mom's just not been okay after the divorce." Your voice breaks when Changbin refuses to look at you, "I know she's speaking bullshit. But there's absolutely nothing I can do to change her mind, I've tried I swear. I'm sorry, Changbin."

When Changbin finally does look at you, even in the dim lit room, you see the tears glistening on his face, mirroring the ones that roll down your cheeks. "Why are you sorry, y/n? I don't blame your mom." He mutters, "It was partly my fault. I should have taken more care, I-"

You cup his cheek, "Shh. Bin, are we really going to spend my last night here crying and blaming ourselves? We might never see each other again."

The words sink deep into his soul, and he nods. He wills his tears back in as he grabs your hand tighter.

"Okay. What do you wanna do?"

You smile a little, "You're not gonna like it though. "

"Stargazing it is then." He giggles a little as the both of you make your way to balcony attached to his room.

It is quiet outside, unlike the noise in your head and you feel the calmness spreading to you when you look up at the stars.

Changbin brings a picnic mat from inside and spreads it out on the floor, along with two pillows and a blanket.

"We'll stay in touch, yeah? If you ever need anything, I'll be right here." He reassures you, lying beside you, hands behind his head.

You smile yet you cannot bring yourself to promise him the same because you know your mother would do everything in her power to push the two of you apart, even to the point of physically hurting Changbin. You would never want that so you'd rather distance yourself and let Changbin forget about you. And maybe, just maybe fate would be a little nicer to you and decide to bring you into his life again. Many years later.

He presses a soft kiss to your head, "You'll always be my best friend, y/n. I don't care how far we are."

It takes everything in your being to not repeat the words.

*

"Changbin, come on we're getting you to the hospital this instant, okay?" Mrs. Seo is furious next morning, running from room to room, looking through the list of doctors she'd saved just in case of emergency.

When she looks at her son, sitting on the sofa with one of his eye irises turning a glowing red, she is reassured that this is an emergency.

"How did this even happen, mom? I swear I didn't try to do anything funny with my eye." He murmurs, scared, "It feels so itchy, gosh!"

Mrs.Seo looks at him with concern just when the doctor picks the call, "Oh, hello Dr.Lee! Thank god you picked up!"

After his mom walks out of his room, Changbin quickly types you a text,

Binnie: Hey. Did you leave already?

Y/nnie: No not yet. We've stopped at the doctor's.

Changbin's eyes widen in alarm.

Binnie: What why?

You look at your face in the decorative mirror at the doctor's waiting room, one of your irises burning into a bright shade of ruby.

Y/nnie: Mom's running a cold.

You close the messenger app before he even replies, deciding to change your number and deleting all your old contacts as soon as you move into your new house. And as much as it hurt you, this one text turned out to be the last time Changbin and you ever talked.

*

It has been raining all day, which means you were stuck in your goddamn house with nothing to do but cry about Changbin and your lost friendship and your broken heart.

After you manage to get some food into your body during dinner time, you crawl back to your room and look into the mirror as you comb your hair and moisturize your skin.

(Self care is important, y'all)

Your red iris stares back at you, taunting your mistakes and calling you a coward.

If only you had still tried to keep in touch with him, if only that stupid accident wouldn't have happened in the first place, if only.

Suddenly, a knock on your balcony door makes you jump in your place.

Shit. Is it a burglar?

You grab the closest thing that could be classified as a weapon - which happens to be an umbrella.

The knocking continues.

"Y/n, it's Changbin." He yells, "Can I please talk to you?"

You freeze in your spot.

Why in the world is he here? Does he have anything worse to say? Is he here to invite you to his wedding? But why would he sneak in through the balcony when he can easily ring the main door bell.

"Y/n, are you in there?"

You quickly walk upto the door and slide it open, revealing Changbin, completely drenched in the rain. His wet hair stuck to his face and "Shit. What the- God, come inside!"

He obeys and tiptoes inside your room, a guilty expression plastered on his face.

You guide him directly to the bathroom and offer him a towel.

"What are you even doing here, Bin?" You lean against the door frame, hands crossed over your chest.

He is drying his hair with the towel when he looks up at you as if to answer your question but he stops. His mouth hangs open as his eyes remain glued to your face.

And that's when you realize why he looks so surprised.

"Shit- fuck." You turn around immediately, "my lenses," you mutter to yourself.

But before you can even walk upto your dressing table, Changbin has caught your wrist and spun you around, pulling you closer to his body.

"Your eye." He let's out a shaky breath.

"Yes, I know. Please don't freak out. It's always been like this after -"

"After the accident." He finishes your sentence, "I know."

Your mouth runs dry as his face draws in closer, "What do you mean you know? What do you know?"

He let's go of your wrist and takes a step back, turning around so that his back faces you.

And when he turns to look at you again, you swear you could have passed out there and then.

"Y-you have it too." You whisper, weak in the knees, "You have a red iris too."

Changbin gives you a small smile, "Yes, y/n."

"But why? What does this mean?" You say, "Is it a symptom of some chronic illness?"

"It's a soul mark."

"What's a soul mark?"

"It's a mark that exists on the bodies of soulmates."

You feel a pang in your chest; like someone was squeezing your heart out of your chest.

"Right," You fall back onto the bed, dazed with the sudden piece of information, "And how do you know all this?"

Changbin kneels down in front of you, hands finding yours. He looks more relaxed than he did since the first day you come back to town.

It almost feels like you had been given back your old friend.

"I've been doing my research, y/n. After you left, this is all I've been doing." He says, "This is also the reason why I had gotten engaged. By that time, I had given up on finding a soulmate. So I just settled for whatever I got. I didn't even feel bad when I found out my fiance was not in love with me. For the world, we might look like a happy couple, but truly, it was just a marriage of convenience for our parents' business."

You bite your lips wondering how to respond to these words. He'd laid bare his heart in front of you, something you never thought he'd do ever again.

"What now?" You say, tired.

He intertwines your fingers, "Also, I'm sorry for yesterday. I shouldn't have said all that."

You nod, "It's alright. I know you didn't mean it. And for the record, I and Chan have nothing going on."

"And for the record, I also broke off my engagement."

Your eyes widen as a gasp leaves your lips, "What? Why?"

"Because when I told my parents that I do not love my fiancé, and that I have only ever loved you, they said my happiness was more important than their business."

When you don't reply to his words, he looks worried, "Hey, you don't have to feel burdened to like me back and all okay? Literally, if you want me to leave you alone, I will. I understand-"

You pull him by the nape and place the softest, gentlest, most sincere kiss on his lips.

"I feel the same way, dumbass." You sigh as you pull him into your arms.

He muzzles his face in the crook of your neck, playing with your hair from behind, "So what now?"

"Let's start with a date." You say, "Let's take it slow."

Changbin wraps his arms tighter around you, kissing your cheek, "As you wish, my love. "

[ihatebnha]

Hi, I heard you were feeling a little sick, hope ur feeling well!! I've been working these past couple months and I've finally been able to look through ur recent posts so I'm a little behind. I'm embarrassed to say that I've been counting the days and kept writing in my notes app abt what I would send lmao. Ur really my comfort blog. <3 Anyway before this gets long and I end up embarrassing myself more I was scrolling through pinterest and found this:

https://pin.it/6OQSLYI

This is giving me very much izuku vibes. Someone might think that it's bakugo however

I think he's more clear cut in the way he loves and I think it's pretty much agreed that once he decided he's with you, it's already in his head that he's marrying you. Not that any other character wouldn't ( or that its his goal but it might just be the most sinple way of saying this is forever) but going through those (emotional) milestones with bakugo might be easier since once you break through his exterior and he's decided on choosing you there's no hesitation afterwards so while he's a little rough around the edges,midoriya is a completely different story . Its like trying to pull teeth out, trying to get him to admit he needs help or to let him know that ur there for him. Bakugo is very much, "I don't deserved to be loved because I'm not good enough", whereas midoriya is, "I don't deserve to be loved unless Im paying for it." And he has!! His body is a monument of all the times he's given himself away freely simply bc he doesn't see himself as worthy of anything unless he's bleeding for it. Unless he's kneeling and putting his neck through a guillotine. So standing in the shower and letting himself be vulnerable enough not flinch when you touch him and letting himself feel loved without a price ughhhhhdbjsbsjs 🥺. Thinking about how hard he's trying not fall to his knees and sob because he only dreamed about someone loving him the way he's loved others.

Um anyway 💀 thinking lots of thoughts lmao,lmk if the link isn't working lol

(link!)

cookie🥺🥺🥺 sorry for the late response! don’t ever feel bad for being or getting behind cuz (clearly) it happens to everyone... it’s really sweet of u to even want to check back in at all AND KEEPING NOTES FOR ME? please, you are *cries* too kind. 

it’s funny tho cuz i always, always, notice when ur in my notifs. i think because maybe sent me an ask i don’t remember but also mostly the time u responded to my hc about bakugo liking the black eyed peas LOOOL and i’m still grateful <3 

anyway lalala that’s just to say ur so sweet and i think of u too !!! let’s get into this tho a bit ;’)

-

i for sure agree it’s deku!! like you point out, i definitely think the whole... confusion + being overwhelmed aspect is a lot more him than bakugo, who definitely skirts around being blatant w/ affection but isn’t all that opposed to both giving and receiving. deku, on the other hand, really... waits for you to lead, and because he’s him... is happy to wait forever. So when you suddenly reach out and care for him in a way he’s never experienced before... AHHH.

and just... that specific kind of intimacy too, i see as being very deku. you know, bakugo likes washing himself, so when you do it... it’s more of a vulnerable act. deku... can sometimes (and often) neglects these aspects of self care bc again, he believes his body is for The People... so when you to take control of it and provide? it’s this whole different level of softness and gentleness and love because it’s not related to anything painful or outside of just... showing ur love for him and him alone, as a person. a lover. 

(does that make sense? not that it isn’t all that for bakugo... but he’s more self sufficient in that the washing doesn’t make him fall apart. he falls apart for other reasons and then you’re there to help after)

but uh... yeah. i’m melting thinking about it! and esp because he has such nice hair in general, too. Can you imagine giving him an olaplex or oil treatment for fun and him just... tearing up and then falling asleep in ur lap LOL? he wakes up with the nicest, shiniest curls. i adore him to bits :((

and you, too! thank you so much for this <3

-

also i just want to highlight: 

“His body is a monument of all the times he's given himself away freely simply bc he doesn't see himself as worthy of anything unless he's bleeding for it. Unless he's kneeling and putting his neck through a guillotine.” 

WOWWWWW!!!

[sleepdeprivedsloth]

In the Dead of Night

[MHA - Midoriya, Bakugou]

summary: Not wanting to return to a nightmare, Bakugou spends the night alone in the common area. That is, until Midoriya finds him and tries to get his old friend to open up with an effective technique from their childhood. (platonic BakuDeku tickle fic)

potential warnings: swearing, tickling

words: 1.5 k

a/n: ahhh my first fic!! …kinda hoping no one sees this but yeah imma post it anyways haha. hopefully whoever ends up reading this will enjoy it! happy national tickle day guys :D

--

Bakugou stared blankly out of one of the windows in the common area, gazing into the empty void that was the night sky. He rarely ever was awake during the dead of night, but yet here he was. Sleeplessly seated on the couch, long past the time his classmates all retired to their dorms.

He would much rather be asleep, heaven knew he needed the rest, but he was not going to risk returning to his nightmare. The experience felt more like he actually relived the sludge monster incident rather than only a dream. He could never willingly go back to that.

His mind being in its own world, Bakugou didn’t quite catch the faint sound of footsteps that grew closer. He vaguely recognized the familiar noises of the refrigerator door opening and closing before he was brought back from his daze by a hand offering him a bottle of water in front of his eyes.

Bakugou looked up and spotted no other than Izuku freaking Midoriya. He felt his facial features try to form a glare out of a force of habit, but his body was too exhausted to actually comply. Reluctantly, he grabbed the water bottle and took a sip as the green-haired boy wordlessly sat on the opposite end of the couch.

Midoriya, whose brain was still in the waking-up process, had just been awakened a few moments ago with his throat strongly craving for some cold water. Maybe it was due to the fact that his mind was still a bit clouded with sleep, or that the two boys had been sitting in silence for an uncomfortable amount of time, but Midoriya actually broke the silence and spoke up.

“What are you doing up at such a late hour?” he asked, turning slightly in his seat so that he could study Bakugou’s reactions. Midoriya didn’t know what he expected as a response, probably a snarky reply or just outright rage, but what he received definitely shocked him.

Bakugou completely ignored him and avoided any chance of eye contact by staring straight ahead. It was as if he didn’t know that his classmate was sitting not even three feet away from him. Midoriya immediately became more attentive and alert, his Kacchan Radar going off like crazy. Bakugou never missed an opportunity to pick a fight with or insult anyone, especially Midoriya.

To his credit, Midoriya took a moment to consider his options. He could go interrogation mode on Bakugou, but he doubted that the blonde would actually open up to him like that. Maybe he could just sit there in silence until Bakugou willingly chose to talk to him, but that could honestly take days. Of course, he could go back to his dorm and leave Bakugou alone, which was probably the option that his classmate would have wanted him to choose, but when was Midoriya even known for actually pleasing Bakugou?

Suddenly Midoriya remembered a technique that had never failed him back when he and Bakugou were younger. A method that they had both been sworn to secrecy about, and hadn’t been used in years.

“Why are you down here so late, Kacchan?” Midoriya asked again, grinning slightly, this time punctuating the other’s name with a poke to his side.

Bakugou let out a quiet yelp, obviously not expecting a small tingling sensation to suddenly shoot through his entire body. He internally cursed himself for showing a reaction and flinching away from the touch.

Still awaiting a response, Midoriya dared to poke again, but before his finger could come in contact with the boy’s body, Bakugou abruptly brought himself to his feet and made a move to leave the common area.

Midoriya quickly and quietly followed suit, walking up behind his unsuspecting classmate. He tasered his index and middle fingers into both of Bakugou’s sides, latching onto them and relentlessly digging in. “C’mon Kacchan, talk to me!”

Bakugou had to squeeze his eyes shut and cover his mouth with one hand to prevent himself from making any noises that could potentially wake up his classmates. He desperately tried to fight off Midoriya’s fingers with his other hand (emphasis on “tried”), but he was too tired physically and mentally to actually get away.

With the advantage of the surprise attack on his side, Midoriya was able to keep the minimally thrashing Bakugou in his grasp. Being the teasing shit that he is, Midoriya taunted, “I bet you wanna laugh, huh Kacchan? Go on, you’ll feel better if you just let it out.”

“N-no I w-won’t!” Bakugou argued from behind his hand, struggling to keep the laughter building up inside of his throat under control. “If we w-weren’t in the dorms right now I would not he-hesitate to blast your ass into nehext week.”

Midoriya gave a playful, over-dramatic gasp. “Did the Kacchan just giggle?” He moved his hands up to Bakugou’s ribs and started scribbling his fingers against them, causing the boy’s weak wall of defense to come crumbling down. As Bakugou’s little laughs started leaking out, Midoriya continued wiggling along the sensitive bones and drilling into the grooves between them. “I am now officially addicted, I must hear mor-”

“Hehehaha Deheheku quirk! Quhuhuhuirk!”

Midoriya immediately recognized the meaning of the word and stopped his tickling, letting his own arms drop to his sides. He watched as Bakugou bent over, arms wrapped tightly around his torso, trying to regain his self-control.

Meanwhile, Midoriya’s head began to flood with memories from his childhood, when the two boys had tickle fights almost on a daily basis. To prevent one of them from pushing the other past their limits, they had decided to use “quirk” as some sort of safeword. Midoriya was a bit surprised that he had immediately understood Bakugou’s intended context of the word, considering that it hadn’t been used for what felt like forever.

A soft, sentimental smile crossed Midoriya's face as he caught a glimpse of Bakugou's face for the first time since tickling him. The blonde’s lips were brought upwards in a reluctant smile and a light blush, most likely from embarrassment, dusted his cheeks. If only Midoriya had a camera to capture the rare moment.

“Did it really tickle so much that you had to call “quirk?”” Midoriya questioned, genuinely curious if he had gone too far.

Being somewhat in control of his own body again, Bakugou stood to his full height and faced his former best friend. If Midoriya noticed that his arms were still wrapped around and protecting his ribs, he didn’t say anything. “Of course it wasn’t that bad, dumbass. I-” Bakugou paused for a moment before looking away from Midoriya and continuing in a whispered voice. “I just didn’t want to risk making too much noise and waking anyone up and…”

He didn’t have to finish his thought for Midoriya to catch on to what he meant. He easily realized that Bakugou didn’t want any of their classmates to find out that he’s ticklish, which was understandable.

Midoriya nodded, showing Bakugou that he didn’t need to further explain. They stood in silence for a moment before the greenette chose to speak up again. “So why are you down here so late at night instead of sleeping in your dorm?”

Bakugou’s body visibly stiffened as he quickly cast his gaze towards the floor. If he hadn’t been exhausted beyond belief and still recovering from those nimble fingers that definitely did not tickle him, he probably would have told Midoriya to screw off and mind his own business. But instead, he answered, “If you really must know, shitty Deku, I had a dream about the damn sludge villain. I didn’t wanna deal with that shit again, so I just came down here to wait out until morning.”

Midoriya knew from experience that Bakugou didn’t want comforting words or pity. That would only make him feel even more vulnerable than he already was, and that wasn’t Midoriya’s intention. So instead, he simply replied in an indifferent tone, “Oh, alright then. Mind if I wait out here too then?”

Not waiting for an answer, Midoriya walked back to the couch and sat back down, spreading out comfortably but still leaving more than enough room for Bakugou. The last thing he wanted was for his former childhood best friend to have to recover from a nightmare alone. But he would never say it out loud, for Bakugou’s sake.

Two minutes passed before Bakugou inevitably decided to walk over and take the seat next to the other boy. Midoriya looked over and caught his classmate’s eye, nodding slightly to him with a small smile before turning back to gaze outside of the window.

Having gone from childhood best friends, to bully and victim, to rivals, to… wherever their relationship stood now, the two boys shared a strong bond that neither of them knew how to describe. But just being in each others’ presence in the dead of night, enjoying the silence between them, was comforting.

However, the pair would definitely not be feeling so relaxed if they hadn’t failed to notice a certain pink-haired alien queen that managed to capture a short, incriminating video before excitedly running off back to her dorm only a few mere moments ago.

--

a/n: thanks for reading, and i hope you guys liked it! i’m still working on that fandom list but yeah MHA will definitely be on there lol. i’ll try to update again soon but until then have a great life y’all!!

[sanjee-chan]

Wayne forced himself to get out of bed to grab a cup of coffee. He had been up all night playing a farm RPG and he wasn't planning on sleeping anytime soon. Walking into the common kitchen, he found two figures hunched over on top of the dining table with their backs turned to him. He narrowed his eyes at them, before ultimately noticing his 'I Love Metrocity' - er, Metro City - mug on the edge of the table. He walked up to place a hand on the empty-

“AH! I died again! Roxanne threw a hand up into her hair, falling back on Wayne behind her with a soft thump."Ugh, this game is so frustrating..."

“Roxie? What are you playing?" Wayne asked, slightly confused at her outburst. "How long have you been at this?"

"Metroidvania platformer. Since last night."

"And him?" Wayne points at a happy but jittery looking Megamind.

"I don't know but he's having more fun than me.”

"COWER BEFORE THE CLAWS, RABBITS! MWAHAHAHA!"

for @zeus-a-mighty

they asked for some post canon hcs. I had so many ideas leading up to this. Sadly, only had time to make one. This was originally going to be a short story of about a thousand or so words but I don't know how many of yall would like plot and dialogue based off game discourse XDDD So I cut out of all of it and made a little drabble. Welp, hope yall like it! Thanks to @elf-kid2 for hosting this event! I hope we can have more of these for the fandom > w < Reasons to why I chose the games and consoles for them under the cut (plus one other tiny hc)

Wayne - Gameboy - Harvest Moon: Friends of Mineral Town - I LOVED THIS GAME AS A KID. Still do, honestly. It's a little pixel game where you play as a farmer and you get to choose between different boys to marry (or not and you can make all of them go celibate lmao). I also played the version where you can marry girls. But I picked this version coz in this one, you play as a girl and one of my standing hcs is that Wayne is trans and gay represent OmO I also picked the gameboy because, I think, Wayne loves classics. (He is literally an Elvis Presley fan, you can't tell me he doesn't like old school good stuff)

Roxanne - Laptop - Hollow Knight - I think Roxanne wouldn't be one to buy a separate console for videogames, I'll leave that up to Megamind and Metroman. She'll probably think about practicality and how PC gaming will be the forefront in the near future XD Choosing between two games for her was hard. I finished Cuphead fairly quickly by repeatedly throwing myself at the levels, Hollow Knight is a little bit harder if only because you have to walk around after every death and explore every single pixel of the map ;') But since she is a reporter she will love that and all the nuances of history in the game's lore. THE LORE (chef’s kiss)

Megamind - Cellphone - Kingdom: New Lands - I know I said that Megamind would probably have a console or two (maybe a switch or something) but I do believe he will be using his cellphone more. He'll whip it out whenever he gets bored of peaceful patrols. And OMG this game is such a mood for him. Basically, you get to customize a character (!genderfluid) who will then lead your kingdom into prosperity. Sort of. I think Megs will love the idea of playing 'overlord' in this game (but a good kind of overlord sooo XDD) Also his quote in the small drabble is supposed to refer to him killing rabbits in game with the 'Great Bear'. Honestly hard to explain, if you haven't played the game or any of its sister games. 

//And yes, in this post movie hc, they live together. friendship at its finest. metroman is forgiven, he is now music man. megamind is the new hero. And they all wear sleeve cutoffs because mhmm (if you also have ideas of what games/consoles best represent them, I’d LOVE to hear them) also don’t ask me why they look kinda young here XDD

sorry for this huge text ahhh

[cheolbooluvr]

veeeery late but HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU TOO!

I'm gonna slap tumblr for not showing me your response earlier >:(

Life is tough atm, but what else to do than just endure it and somehow get through it </3 but thank you for asking 🥺

Yk, forgive me for being a bit cheesy now, but I have to let you know that every message from you just immediately makes me smile and brightens up my day, so thank you for existing and talking to me/us 🥰

pls don't feel guilty for coming online and not posting anything, it's okay, no one is blaming or upset with you <3

burnout sucks and what you've described sounds awful, so I really hope that you feel better and were able to get some proper rest by now 💕

I have yet to catch up with your fics, but I read the most recent one and let me just tell you that I absolutely love it. It's SO intriguing and I hope that some day you'll continue the series, but seriously tho, no pressure <3

there is also no need to apologise for replying later than expected, I'm the worst at replying to people, so it's more than fine and I understand 🥺

not sure if this was all I wanted to say but my mind is slowly shutting down and I should really get some sleep now lmao

so pls stay safe and healthy, don't forget to stay hydrated and take care of yourself 💕

~ 🌙

my beloved 🌙 anon!!

tumblr is the worst sometimes !! but ahhh i hope things are a little better now since you've sent this message 😭 but you know what, i felt that. i find myself more often than not trying to convince myself that better days are ahead, and sometimes it's true, sometimes it's not. but in the long haul, they'll pass by eventually anyway 🤧

also, never apologize for being cheesy bc guess what? i love cheese. my favorite is gouda. wink wonk! (if you know that reference, ily, but if you don't know, i still ly)

no but really, i feel the same way 🥺 genuinely i cannot express the excitement i feel seeing you in my inbox 😭 you make me feel less like i'm talking into a void, so it's nice to know ppl out there see/hear/read me :( to think you've been here w me since basically the beginning makes it even more special!!💖

i think i might finally(?) be getting over my writer's block!! or slightly over it at least. things have been a little crazy since i'm preparing to study abroad soon (!!), but i definitely have been able to get lots of rest which has honestly been so nice 😌

WAH i'm so glad you enjoyed the prologue for the social club!! i have spent months plotting and planning (and tbh i'm not close to being done) so i'm glad someone out there is enjoying it, even if it's just a tiny chapter! :]

i actually just finished my next chapter for the social club so that's gonna go through a bit of beta reading before i post, but hopefully in the next few days it should be up :))

i hope you've been getting plenty of rest, and staying hydrated and healthy always!!! 🌙 anon, again, always a pleasure and i can't wait to hear back from you again soon!!💖

[zirkkun]

Lol, I read all the tags for the Act to Flirt 0. 4 update post on here, & man, Sans really wasn't giving u an easy time writing his route, ahaha. I remember watching some playthroughs, & the Sans parts of them were just so funny, bc he just wasn't having it. Excited for 0.4 to come out & to see playthroughs of it, ATF playthroughs are always fun to watch. It is really cool u did all the stuff w/ Sans abt his thoughts on The player & etc., gives more replayability. Good luck on 0.4, but no rush.

Ahhh thank you! I do feel like my interpretation of Sans's opinion on Frisk/the player is a bit different from most other people's, but I'm still happy that people have been enjoying how I write him regardless ;w;/ i got about halfway through writing his route this morning, minus the line changes from if you re-play it. It's a lot more writing-heavy than the others since it's styled far more like a normal visual novel -- which is explained contextually don't worry lol -- so it's been a lot easier to go through and write compared to the others. Especially since I'm crazy and have to write it directly into the script because i Cannot copy, paste, and edit i get so bored so fast lol

Hopefully it doesn't take me too much longer... Objectively there isn't much left!! But i have been very worn out this past week and keep having other life stuff get in the way lol