#been crocheting for like. 8 years and never even heard of it

[star-prinxe]

im pretty sure swatching is what they call it when you make a tension swatch of a new yarn (like making a 10 stitch by 10 row square to see how large it is and roughly how many stitches per square inch the yarn is)

Huh. I have literally never done that lmao

[imma-vincent-van-gogh-kms]

⚠️!!TRAUMA POST!!⚠️

TW: S/A, neglect, mommy issues, trust issues, etc.

(This is really just my last resort to getting all this shit off my chest. Also this will mention my deadname so yeah)

So when I was 8, my mom met this guy named Josh, he was okay. He tried to be like the dad I wish I could’ve had, but one night, he snuck into my room and locked my door. Then he told me I was dreaming and for me to put my face in my pillow, so I did, then I felt my pants going down and something rubbing against my… “tunnel.” I asked him what he was doing and he told me not to worry about it and to keep my face in my pillow, or he’d make me keep it there. I got scared and put my head back in my pillow and he put his hand on my back, gripping my pajamas. After what I could only assume was half an hour or so, he left. I told my mom about it but she didn’t believe me, not only that, but she guilt tripped me into talking about it with him. He started crying and saying stuff like “I’d never do such a thing” and “I see you as my own daughter, Emery” and so on and so forth. My grandma and aunt Lys believed me though, so I’m grateful for that.

The S/A went on for four years (it stopped when I was 11) the last time he did it was when his 5 year old son was visiting. He had him stay in my room while he took me to his and my mom’s room, sitting me in his gaming chair and wrapping my mom’s bandanna around my eyes, he told me we were gonna do a taste testing thing, he said he didn’t have a spoon though so he’d have to use his finger. He told me to get all the peanut butter or whatever it was on his finger off it. It was normal til the last time, he put, what I can only assume, was his dick in my mouth which obviously caused me to choke and pull away. I went to take the bandanna off and he told me to wait, I heard a zipper and then he said I could take it off. He asked if I was okay and I started crying a little and asking “What was that-?” He reassured me that it was just his finger (but I didn’t feel any nail SIR.😒) A few weeks later and he was put in jail for selling edibles at home or something.

After he was put in jail my mom was like “Well, now I hope you’re happy. Now your brother doesn’t have a dad to look up to! Does that seem fair to you, Emery?” As if all he did wasn’t just leaving my little brother in my room to watch TV and leaving me to take care of him while he just sat in his room playing video games. My mom has been a big fear of mine since I was 6, she has rarely been a good mother to me , or to anyone for that matter. Because the moment I was born, she left me to be my grandparents responsibility just so she didn’t have to worry about me. Even now she still expects my trauma to have just *POOF* vanished! As if that’s how it works.

And just a couple hours ago, her and ex boyfriend number 13 (yes, I keep count) got into a pretty heated argument and broke up. And because I’m emotional and a fucking crybaby, I obviously started crying in my closet, so I called my best friend and drew some quote art. But seriously, trauma doesn’t just resolve itself if the problem is away from the victim/victims. It takes time and effort to help the person get better and find a good coping mechanism for it (like therapy, drawing, writing, crocheting, writing, reading, etc.).

If any of you, a friend or a family member have gone through S/A or anything like that I am so, so, so sorry that happened and I hope you’re healing well.

[jumpedthenfell-13]

Sometimes me and my friends will be having a conversation and we end up talking about something we’ll all do as a group together when we’re older, like a road trip after we all turn 18 or a trip we’ll do one day when we graduate from college. And it’s brought up so casually that it’s painful in such a good way because it reminds me that the last time I had a friend group like this, I never had any plans like that involving them. And I’m not saying we just never talked about it, even really joked about it, I’m saying I never thought of a future with any of them in it, and I didn’t even notice at the time. After all, how could I plan for a future with a group where I constantly felt like I was walking on eggshells, where my supposed closest friend at the time had said insanely hurtful things and said she never wanted to speak to me again, then apologized as if it was something normal only two days later?

But this time, every time I think of what my future will be like, they’re part of it. It’s little things, like some of them visiting the store I’ll own one day while I’m working, or us doing important things for the first time together. And it’s huge things, like taking a big group road trip together or graduating together.

And it catches me off guard, sometimes, because when I think of my future, there’s no longer the looming question of, ‘will they still be there then?’. Sure, I wonder about that sometimes, but that’s mostly because my trust in close friends sticking with me has been absolutely destroyed over the years, but it’s less of an issue than it was before, because, since the start of our friendship, this has felt different. We don’t fight over things, not really. Sometimes there’s the playful arguments, like whether mint chocolate chip ice cream is good or not, but there’s never anything real. It’s so much healthier this time, and at this point I sometimes feel like they’re the only ones who I see a notification from and it absolutely brightens my day.

I think that’s why I was so scared of highschool. I mean, look at what happened last time I spent a long amount of time away from my close friend. Over one summer apart, I realized she was toxic and our friendship was unhealthy, and our bond has never been the same. Hell, I don’t even talk to her anymore. After grad I started ghosting her, and my life has never been better. But that’s off-topic. I was so scared I would lose them because we were going to different high schools. I thought our friendship would be gone within the first two weeks, but here we are, in mid-october, and four of us have plans to go see the eras tour movie this Saturday.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m so grateful for them, and I don’t think they’ll ever know that I am or why. They’ve shown me what a real friendship is, despite how cringy or cliche that might sound. I know they’ll never see this, which is why I’m posting it here, of all places. So I can thank them, and they’ll never know it was ever said. So thank you to my closest friends, who will never find this extremely sappy post.

Thank you to my best friend of six years, who stuck with me when no-one else did. Thank you to my fellow insane swiftie, who has made me laugh harder than anyone else sometimes. Thank you to my bus buddy, who sat through countless conversations and explanations of shows she’d never even heard of. Thank you to our grade 8 grad’s best option for valedictorian, who helped me meet two of my other closest friends. Thank you to my crochet buddy, who makes insanely funny jokes and has the contact name ‘papa smurf’. Thank you to the only fiji water addict i know, who may have chased me onto my bunk and hit me with a slipper during our grade 8 overnight trip but also made it one of my favourite memories. Thank you to the most intense french class hater I’ve ever met, who stayed up reading and talking to me on the very same trip that made us friends. Thank you to my entire friend group; for making last year my favourite school year ever, and who will never, ever find this post.

(And if any of you do, by any chance, have an account here, and somehow do end up finding this, no you didn’t 🫶🏻)

[help-me-obiwan]

I posted 15,442 times in 2022

That's 4,792 more posts than 2021!

4 posts created (0%)

15,438 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@mystical-flute

@vickyvicarious

@philtstone

@nobodysuspectsthebutterfly

@pacificwanderer

I tagged 711 of my posts in 2022

#hotd - 243 posts

#daemyra - 151 posts

#kenobi spoilers - 89 posts

#stranger things spoilers - 48 posts

#stranger things 4 - 38 posts

#daemon targaryen - 25 posts

#rhaenyra targaryen - 13 posts

#i love them - 10 posts

#lmao - 9 posts

#ugh - 8 posts

Longest Tag: 131 characters

#like i dont dislike her as an artist but i think i just heard certain songs of hers too much and was completely oversaturated by it

My Top Posts in 2022:

#4

100000 posts!

0 notes - Posted November 9, 2022

#3

So I hate this update. I'm a bit spoiled and am not loving having the stretch more than normal to reblog something.

0 notes - Posted February 2, 2022

#2

Really just venting. But I have a super important meeting with the global team of the company I work for in the morning. It was kind of thrown on me last minute that I'd actually have to speak at this thing. And I've been freaking out all evening over it. Like I'm legit worried I'm going to say something and make an ass out of myself and everyone is going to realize I'm actually just and idiot and have no idea what the hell I'm doing. And they'll just like fire me. Which is probably ridiculous but then you never know. My company is oddly touchy a out stuff like that. And ugh. I just really want it to be over.

2 notes - Posted February 4, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

So 5 and a half months ago I had my 3rd daughter. She is beautiful and sweet and so full if personality already and I love her so much. And I cant imagine life with out her now.

But in the last few months (particularly since I returned to work) I am just drained. I have not been able to enjoy any of my usual hobbies. Even just trying to cook dinner or do normal mundane things like shower and brush my hair feel tedious.

Like I said, this isn't my 1st. But I've never had this issue before. It's like the little bit of energy I do have gets zapped by work. And even when I have time to myself all I can do is sleep. And crazy as it sounds it's draining.

I miss really being able to read or write or draw or knit or crochet. Or even just be hyper fixated on something and want to create content (whether I actually do and/or share it or not). I'm just feeling really outside myself. And I'm not sure how to reel it all back in.

4 notes - Posted February 12, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[deepspaceclawstation]

This weekend me and my family went to my (late) grandma's place to get her stuff sorted (and get our ~inheritance~). We didn't get to the utensils or books yet but the clothes are done and dusted. A lot of unused sarees, hence a lot of pretty fabric. Dresses too, but we have people in those sizes so they don't need any tailoring. I also got into her craft stash and now am the proud possessor of a fuck ton of seed beads and acrylic yarn (among other things), along with a couple of wips with uh..questionable colour choices. Also I'm never going to have to buy any more knitting needles or crochet hooks or umm..tatting needles? I have no idea what half of these things are. There's a wooden spatula-like thing that might be a shuttle, a round bottle-cap-thing which has retractable tiny spikes, and a not-a-crochet-hook thing (pictured below along with a circular knitting pin, which I also don't know how to use).

Oh and I also found some bead purses and some jewellery I made as a kid. It's not...bad, but you can definitely tell that it was made by a kid. It's funny how 'rigid' I was in my idea of aesthetics. For example, the photos below show my amateurish work on the left (turtles!) and my grandma's on the right:

I have absolutely no idea why I was obsessed with the 10-bead interval. Or what the turtles are doing there. These must have been made around when I was 10-12 years old, hence the lack of clasps or finishing of any sort.

Since I'm already sharing photos here's the yarn stash and the needles-hooks-beads-crochet threads-pom pom makers-sequins-quilling strips stash:

In the second photo you can see the wip projects bag on the left. One is a white towel thing with a blue border and too many cables. The yarn is all discoloured and grandma didn't even leave 2cm of the working yarn for binding off (it also had 286 stitches which took half an hour to get off the needles). Mom says she'll use it as a curtain for a small window but I think it'll be better as a towel. The other is a knitted rectangle that may be a shawl. It has a weird colour scheme and palette (orange pink orange green orange violet orange pink green orange pink green orange) and somehow has two working yarns? Why did she attach a separate yarn just for the border? I feel like it could be some sweater contruction I haven't heard of before but the knitted part is too long (7-8 feet) to be a part of the body of such a project. Either way, my junk now.

[neonponders]

✨Hogwarts Harringrove ✨ pt. 15 ( 1 • 2 • 3 • 4 • 5 • 6 • 7 • 8 • 9 • 10 • 11 • 12 • 13 • 14 • 16 • ao3 )

“You two need to get a room in Hogsmeade already, because you’re both disgusting.”

Steve turned his face enough to press his cheek against Billy’s, side-glaring at her before he went back to kissing his boyfriend. Admittedly, though, they were in the Great Hall. And they were fifteen minutes away from their midterms.

Max was the one to put a stop to the lovers’ make-out, for she slapped the table with a sheet of paper. “I need you to sign this.”

Billy frowned as he read over the permission form for Hogsmeade visitation. He almost asked something like Why? or Why didn’t I get one of these? but he knew the answer. Max’s father was off being a dragon wrangler or some bullshit, so it fell to Billy to fill the role he never asked for in the first place.

He used Steve’s pen to sign it, since he, too, was very much looking forward to getting the hell off of school grounds. He briefly wondered if Hopper was the one in charge of his own papers, but the man had spoken about their class tonight as if they needed to get things done before everyone flooded the village. And Steve had been beside himself, eager for a date with Billy in the Three Broomsticks.

Without Billy or food to distract him, Steve began pulling at his hair until Robin pulled his arm down. “You can do this without going bald.”

But he mumbled, “Is it possible to get held back a year?”

Billy remarked, “Maybe.”

Steve knocked his leg against Billy’s. “Not like that. You’re actually good at this.”

Robin intercepted, “Which class are you most worried about?”

“Ancient Runes. I’ve been holding off on Cupcake’s sigil ribbon because I don’t want to fuck this up.”

Billy’s brows furrowed. “I thought I told you that Hopper would help you with that.”

Steve shook his head, gathering his notes to shove into his bag. “He’s a dad and stuff. He doesn’t remember.”

Robin quipped, “Then after you bomb the exam and practical, go remind him.”

Steve held a deadpan glare at her, inducing her to lighten up and ask, “Why did you take that class again? It’s optional.”

“Because I grew up with runes all over the place. I thought it’d be easy.”

Billy didn’t have much to say for that. Similarly, he was not looking forward to his Defense class this evening. So they went their separate ways for their day of exams.

Because of the hours being devoted to exams instead of regular classes, their lunch periods did not line up, but come dinner time, Steve carried himself in more defeated a manner than ever. The brainiac kids around him weren’t helping. Chattering away, they remained blissfully oblivious to Steve’s silence until he stood up and left. Billy wanted to follow him, but he had his last class in a matter of minutes -

Dustin stood up, and Max joined him. Robin, for all of her snark, scarfed down her food, wrapped up some bread rolls and danishes in a napkin, and left the Great Hall as well. It didn’t console Billy as much as he wanted it to, Steve being taken care of and himself being one class away from as much time out of the castle as he wanted.

Some days, the earth just felt misaligned with its axis, and Billy didn’t know how to fix it.

* * *

With the Common Room empty for everyone at dinner, Steve laid himself down on the couch after retrieving Cupcake from her cage. She paced the top of the couch while he draped an arm over his eyes...

He heard the portrait open and the footsteps, but he didn’t peek until someone sat on the floor and leaned against the couch. Dustin sat with a book open, trying to follow a tutorial on crocheting. Max sat in Billy’s usual wingback by the fire, tinkering with the trucks on her skateboard. Robin held her finger out for Cupcake to hitch a ride, and then sat down beside Dustin to help him while working the yarn on her wand instead of a crochet hook to provide a bigger example for him.

Given the end of midterms, the Great Hall stayed open longer for students to decompress. This left the Common Room mostly empty apart from their group, and a speckling of others coming and going. Eventually Steve felt hot and went to one of the diamond-paned windows that opened. He quickly magicked a barrier to keep Cupcake from flying outside, but inso doing, he noticed a familiar light show happening on the quidditch pitch.

A pause followed a yell that Steve only heard because he recognized the voice. Today was even hard on Billy, it seemed...

Steve didn’t want it to be hard on Billy. Of all the people who needed a good day, who deserved a good day, it was Billy. The guy tolerated spending time outside Hopper’s cabin because Steve and the others knew him so well. He had yet to raise any complaint about the nuggets of bird poop on his clothes. And as often as Billy manhandled Steve, he also remembered the location of every single scrape, bruise, or cut, and always positioned himself on the side of Steve that was the most wounded.

He bent an arm on the windowsill and rested his cheek on it. Holding his wand up, all he knew was that he wanted to make Billy feel better. He knew the spell. He’d made gusts of silvery-blue mist before but maybe that’s all he needed...

Steve closed his eyes and thought about the last time he’d known peace. Not lazy peace. An energized peace. Safety, but full of confidence. A strange sort of happiness that buzzed through his veins while still leaving the pool in his belly free of ripples...

“Expecto patronum,” he whispered, and opened his eyes in time to see the brightest shade of blue fly from his wand.

After a while, a smile slowly bloomed on his face. He may have failed a test today, but at least he could do that -

“I didn’t know you could do that,” Robin breathed beside him.

He glanced at her, but then let his head rest on his arm again. “Only sometimes.”

* * *

“You’ll get there. You just need patience - ”

“For what?” Billy fumed. “I don’t need this - ”

He pitched his wand in the air like a baseball, throwing a wave of magic at the reinforced walls of the quidditch arena. Hopper exhaled with audible frustration but composure, “I can hear you fine without yelling.”

“Then teach me something else,” Billy growled.

“No, no. The yelling is working for you. You’re just like Ellie: bad at partner projects.”

“Dueling isn’t a partner project!”

Hopper enunciated his words as if that would solve anything. “You’re not strange or lesser for responding poorly to a magical attack. You can learn this. You’re learning everything else fine. There’s just a part of your brain that’s spent years being trained to get attacked instead of standing up for itself - ”

Billy pitched another jet stream of rippling magic because he didn’t know what else to do with it. He felt ready to murder for a cigarette. Wanted to plug his ears with television and music the way he used to while he just burned out as much energy as he could with exercise. Jogging around this goddamn school only did so much; without his customary distractions, Billy felt lost a third of the time. Like he was wearing the wrong skin.

“It’s not your fault, kid. This is more than a lack of skill, because you have the skill. This is trauma. It’s dripping out of your ears and you’re used to it. You can’t tell the difference between reflexive defense and actual personality traits. This will be longer than a class, but I can give you the starter tools to get somewhere on your own, long term - ”

Light in his periphery made Billy swing a hand to shield his face. For a millisecond, he thought Hopper had started another duel without telling him. But the light reminded him of something he’d seen many times over many years. However, with no shortage of confusion, it took him a long time to register that he wasn’t seeing a car’s high beam. And damn, did he miss his car...

Billy’s brain was really working overtime because it wasn’t an attack, nor a vehicle. Nor was it Cupcake, because - though albino - that bird couldn’t glow in the dark...

A kingfisher.

Billy knew because it dove down with a short swoop back up, hovering a short distance from Billy’s face. Small gusts of silvery blue wafted off the tail and wings as white eyes radiated light. Billy had to blink, it was too bright, and like ripples on water, pulses of light came off this thing like a heartbeat as well as the timing of its rapid wings. The feathers on its head ruffled up and back down, like a cockatoo’s feathers flexing up into a crown, or Steve’s silly hair when he danced too much -

It dove into Billy’s torso, piercing his chest and vanishing. But he felt it. Searing heat - and oddly...no temperature at all - radiating to his fingertips, making his scalp tingle.

And a feeling. Billy couldn’t begin to explain or label the feeling, but his mind got thrown back in time to a moment on a beach. A bright, sunny morning. The kind that reflected off the sand and water, bleaching the whole memory more golden white than the day had actually been. But his mother’s hair had been golden, and her dress white. She smiled and looked for sea glass while he surfed, losing her voice as she hollered over his successes and laughed with him at his clumsy failures...

Billy didn’t realized his eyes ached and that his cheeks were soaked until a tissue entered his vision. Billy quickly dabbed it to his face as he heard Hopper as if from far away, “Whose was that?”

“Steve,” Billy sniffled even though he didn’t really know how he knew. “It came from Steve.”

“Jesus,” Hopper breathed. “Your generation is just built different than mine.”

But Billy looked up and found the man gazing off at the castle. They knew which window the bird came from, because several arms waved out of a window in the nearest tower.

“Hey, uh, who’s Steve’s teacher?”

“I don’t know,” Billy grumbled, hating the sound of his voice after crying.

“ ‘Kay, well. Bring him round next time.”

“Why, so he can demonstrate what I’m bad at?”

Hopper sent him an out-of-patience look. “Yeah, that’s right. Since you’re acing all of your classes, you’re allowed to be bad at something. Now get out of here. Your homework is to go to Hogsmeade and bring back a chocolate frog card.”

[unu-nunu-art]

The Gauge Masterpost

April Fools is over - even with the additional day I’ve given her - and I won’t take any more questions. Thank you once again for the massive interest, I’ve gotten so many asks and so many comments and questions about her, it’s been amazing. ♥ 

I will turn this post into some kind of masterpost, linking each and every entry I’ve made about her here so keeping an overview will be a little easier.

Who is Gauge?

To put it nice and simple, Gauge is a - NON CANON - ship kid of Template and Pale I created! She was meant as a one-time April Fools joke character, but while I created her she has grown to me so much that I simply couldn’t dump her after using her only one single day. However, she will always stay non canon.

Links for Comics and Additional Artworks:

Here you can find every link of asks answered by Gauge

All Responses from 2019:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12

All Responses from 2020: 

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 

Additional drawings: 

Family Selfie! | Just Gauge 

Lots of additional info can be found under the cut:

(Info added in 2020)

- I forgot to mention this, but her responses in 2020 can be considered post the events in “Somewhere Else”, while her responses in 2019 are previous of this

- A common mistake I’ve found was that a lot of people using male pronouns for Gauge, which is not correct. It’s she/her!

- While she’s not canon, everything she talks about regarding Template and Pale can be taken as canon; the only thing not canon is herself. She has her own impressions of things happening around her however, since Template still keeps secrets from her, so she doesn’t know the answers to everything. Despite this, she still knows these two better than anyone else

- You should take her appearances this way: Gauge sleeps a lot, plus it’s hard to keep track of time in the voids. She’s awake any now and then, so it really doesn’t feel to her like a whole year has passed. Therefore, she’s a little bit confused when someone tells her that it’s her birthday

- She likes hugs, but she’s not much of a fan of getting booped and doesn’t exactly like to get patted on the head. She will let you, but will act a little reluctant

- Template taught her almost everything she knows. Since she never left Template’s or Pale’s place, which Template refers to as the “Art Zone” and “Null Space” respectively, she doesn’t have much knowledge about a lot of things, but isn’t exactly stupid either. She’s gotten a lot of impressions of the universes by watching AUs with Template, which is really similar to watching TV 

(Info added in 2019)

- I’m thinking of her as a 14-16 year old... it’s hard to tell since technically, time and space doesn’t exist in between universes 

- If you consider her parents’ souls, you may realize that she doesn’t have the most powerful soul either. This means that while her soul overall is fully intact, it’s still really weak. This is why she doesn’t have powers or can’t use magic. She cannot even open portals to other AUs like pretty much every other out!code character.

- Her weak soul makes her similar (but not the same!) in behavior as Pale. However, she’s able to boost her perception, which is why she constantly is drinking coffee and is on a sugar high. Without it, she would be quite lethargic.

- Template gave her the eye-patch because her left eye is glitched. While Gauge is under the impression that her left eye is not nice to look at in general (and doesn’t mind it because her vision through this eye is also broken), Template’s intention behind this is that he pretty much avoids to look at it constantly for obvious reasons. 

- Some people might have mistaken Gauge’s dark hand palms as gloves, but that’s not the case. Pale’s palms are grey, hers are black. It just runs in the family. 

- For those still wondering about her mysterious hobby, while others have already guessed it: She loves sewing, crocheting and she can even knit! Yes, she did make the clothes she wears herself, but lied to Template about it because it’s something that would stress him out if he knew. So instead, she just does it whenever Pale is supposed to take care of her. She hides all her sewing materials in Pale’s clothing heaps. Pale, of course, doesn’t mind. 

- The measuring tape on her hoodie suddenly seems less confusing if you consider her hobby, doesn’t it? 

- Gauge never heard of Error because Template of course doesn’t talk about him and often only know about what she’s told or seen herself in AUs. However, she knows about Ink, because Template won’t shut up about him. To her, Ink is some kind of comic book hero she keeps hearing about but never met herself, so her view of him is just as warped as Template’s 

- Gauge is fully aware that something is wrong with Template since she’s bound to experience one of Template’s minor or heavier breakdowns at some point. She merely thinks of it as a disease and that it’s not Template’s fault. She tries to help and prevent things from going wrong as much as she can. She thinks that Template’s determination to keep going in this case is unmatched and admirable.

- Gauge is talking to Pale a lot when she’s with him because he seems to listen and doesn’t judge her for whatever is on her mind. Pale probably knows Gauge better than Template, even if Gauge spends less time with him. 

Aaaaand that’s pretty much all I can think of right now. I hope more questions were answered! The only thing I really can’t answer is how she came to be, haha. I’d love to draw her more but I really can’t tell as other projects have a higher priority. But considering I made her two days before April Fools without even a clue about what to do, she’s really come a long way in just three days… I’m proud of her ;w;

[thewistlingbadger]

Basic info: Theodora is the child of Striker and an unknown female imp who is no longer in the picture. She is the oldest and has 2 younger sisters.

Names:

Theodora (birth name)

Thea (Father and maybe sisters)

Sis (sisters)

Hermana (sisters)

Sissy (sisters)

Hermosa (father)

Hija (father)

Kid (father)

Kiddo (father)

Girl (father)

Any nickname under the god damn sun (father and Ophelia)

Any curse word/insult under the sun (Ophelia)

Appearance: Theodora has muted pink skin and her daddy's eyes. She's as tall as her father but has her mother's hair. She wears a sleeveless flannel, a fringe vest, and denim booty shorts. Theodora can often be seen with her mother's scarf around her neck, a hat, her boots, and her hair tied into a low bun.

Story: Theodora grew up in what you could call a traditional home. Her dad was the moneymaker and her mom was mainly the caregiver. But no matter what, striker always made time for her and was a loving father. Fast forward some years and Theodora now has 2 sisters; one that was 8 and one that was just born. Theodora was 14 at the time when her mother unexpectedly left all of them. This resulted in Theodora having to take on a lot of responsibility at such a young age. And thus, she harbors some resentment for her father.

Personality: Theodora is an intelligent, formal, harsh, loner, somewhat snobbish imp. She's always cared about academics, even as a young child. When her life got harder, she still remained top of her class. She pushes for her sisters to be scholarly, but that doesn't really happen. She does not like the violent ways of her father, she finds it to be very crude. The drastic change that happened when she was 14 made her introverted. She lacks communication skills, talking down to most demons and having no friends.

Dynamics:

Father- relationship used to be pretty good, built on mutual respect. Everything went to shit when her mother left, turning Theodora cold and distant. Their relationship is now strained, with striker trying to maintain peace in the household and Theodora being over it.

Mother- relationship was good, they spent a lot of time together since striker was gone at work from sun up to sun down. It really messed Theodora up when her mother just left without no explanation, never to be heard from again.

Ophelia- Ophelia is the middle child in the family, and Theodora's first sister. She was born when Theodora was 6. It was off-putting that ophelia was a hyper kiddo but they still got on fine. When their mom left, she became more of a mother than their real mom ever was to Ophelia. Now, Theodora is just the person that yells at Ophelia for not doing her homework and for slouching.

Phillipa- Phillipa is the baby in the family, and has no memory of her mother. Theodora is raising her alongside her father. Theodora is very uptight when it comes to her you youngest sister, trying to push her in what she determines is "the right direction".

When Theodora goes to college, she makes friends for the first time. She makes connections, has crushes, and eventually falls in love, gets married, and has children. They cause her to relax a bit and be more on the chill side.

Fun facts:

She is cisgender and bicuroius. Her pronouns are she/her

Her middle name is María

She has a southern accent (just like everyone else in the house)

Born and raised in the ring of wrath (all of them are)

She later goes to college in gluttony (she's at college on a scholarship)

She's been to pride once for a competition of sorts (extracurricular activity for school kinda thing)

She's a part time waitress in wrath

She can crochet

She hasn't worn her hair down since childhood

She hates nicknames

She strives for perfection

She wanted to marry up (didn't happen)

She thinks family time is below her

Her father tried to teach her how to kill, she refused. The only thing she cooperated with was learning how to ride bombproof (this happened after her mom left)

Her father gifted her a switchblade that had a floral pattern when she left for college

Her vocabulary is huge

She taught her father the word pompous

She is NOT anti-violence, she believes there are better things to be done and being able to kill a man in one motion is not impressive and a waste of time

She could still kick your ass though if you pissed her off enough

She talks very fancy

In college, she has a group of hellhound friends

She has a crush on her roommate who later becomes her best friend

She ends up marrying a succubus who she was partnered with for a group project. They get married way after they graduate and have 2 sons: Cosmo and Juno

*these are my general thoughts on my oc but isn't set in stone. There can/will be changes that make to Theodora and her story*

[symphonicmetal101]

Wishlist For Someone Special

Ok, so I'm feeling really sappy and just a little lonely. All my friends are boring and my family members are too young for me to take to do some stuff.

This is kind of a wishlist of things I wish I had someone to do with or look forward to doing eventually...not necessarily romantic, but I wouldn't mind if it was. (broskis, I ain't never been on a date, not even, like, a platonic one, so bear with me if it seems ridiculous)

Stargazing- lying on a blanket in an open field or in the bed of a truck, just watching the stars, pointing out constellations, and making up stories

Watching the Northern Lights- bundling up in our warmest winter clothing, grabbing a couple campchairs and hot chocolate as we watch them dance and flicker.

Laser Tag- sneaking around, just trying to one up each other, or being on the same team and still- try to one up each other😂

Paintball- a little more painful than laser tag, but still fun. Checking up on each other afterwards to make sure there aren't any really bad bruises

Graffiti- I've always liked the way it looks. I would love for someone to teach me, or for us to learn together in one of those public graffiti houses

A Willow Tree- I would love to find a weeping willow tree and climb it's branches, only to sit and read there with my loved one enjoying their company.

Just Drive- just take a roadtrip with someone I love, blasting music, laughing, singing, and snacking as we blaze down the roads. It doesn't have to be long.

Visit an Animal Sanctuary/Reserve- I find animals fascinating, but also find that sanctuaries and reserves are more educational and often more humane than zoos.

Volunteer at the Food Bank or SPCA- just general acts of service. They make me happy.

Pillow Fortress- I didn't really get to make blanket forts when I was younger, so I want to try doing something even bigger! I want to convert the couch into a cuddle palace.

Spontaneous Dancing- idk man, it just makes me really happy. My dad used to twirl and dip me when I was little, so that's probably where it started.

Cooking/Baking Together- so what if we make a bit of a mess? So what if we screw up the recipe? It doesn't matter, it was time well spent.

Cleaning Together- Growing up as an only child for ten years and then becoming the oldest means I've done chores alone for a long time. I want someone's company, maybe we'll talk, maybe we'll work in comfortable silence, or maybe we'll blast music. I don't care. I would be happy just to know I wasn't alone.

Learning One of Their Hobbies- I want to learn something they know!! Please, let me understand a little better, I just need them to be patient with me.

Forest Walks- especially in Fall. I want to walk down an old trail, listen to leaves crunch under our feet as more fall from above I want the blustery weather to give us rosy cheeks and noses by the time our walk is over.

Horseback Riding- I've done it before, but I would love to bring someone with me. You have more experience? Great! I love to see that confidence in you. You've done it a couple times? Yay, we're in the same boat! Never done it at all? That's ok! I'll do what I can to help you!

Outdoor Movie Night- we don't have drive- in theaters anywhere nearby, but give me a sheet, campchairs, and a projector? I've got us.

Indoor Movie Night- let's bundle up and cuddle together while we watch a new movie. Or maybe it's a classic. Idc.

Try New Food- let's go somewhere for lunch and pick something completely foreign...(I am not eating guinea pig again though, thanks.)

The Wharf- if one of us happens to live by the ocean, we'll be frequent visitors. Not necessarily the beach, bit on wooden planks where the salty sea air still reaches you. We can watch the boats come and go. (Fisherman's Wharf in B.C Canada is fun. There's a really good Mexican food place😂 There's a blind seal named Sammy that lives there, and you can buy a bucket of fish to feed him. Be careful though, seagulls are vicious, being pecked by one sucks...yes, I needed a bandaid and my finger was sore for a long time. Idk if it's still like that, it's been a while. Sorry, just reminiscing a bit.)

Painting- let's buy a couple canvases and paint and see what we can do! It doesn't have to resemble anything, just do what feels like you.

Splatter Painting- dear god I've wanted to try this for so long. Just full on globs of paint and flicking it towards the canvas. (I was never allowed to do it because it was seen as a waste of paint. I couldn't even do it with an old toothbrush on a small canvas😑)

Video Games!- Please teach me how to play! Video games are banned in my family. I mean, I've done Just Dance, but that's about it. Mobile games have been kept a secret...basically just teach me to play and don't make me feel bad about playing, and I'll love you forever, mkay?

Ice Cream Date- again, idk. The idea just makes me really happy, whether we're sitting in a small shop, eating and talking. Or maybe we're walking, maybe holding hands, trying to point things out to each other, but our hands are full, but there's no way we're letting go. Or maybe we're sharing a cup of ice cream on a park bench, just people watching.

Thrift Store Outfits- I want to go to a thrift store and pick out the most ridiculous outfits for each other. We don't have to go anywhere, but just humour me when we're alone by wearing whatever I found for you, and vice versa.

Writing- writing a poem, a atory, a quote, or learning calligraphy and just writing their name- I want to write something to you

Books- let's go to the library and choose a book for each other, one that neither of us have read so we can talk and ask questions, come up with theories as we continue to read.

Books pt.2- if you write me a note and give me a book telling me why it's one of your favourites, I'll melt. I'll do the same for you, and soon we'll have a few more things to talk about and enjoy together

Music!- you bet your bottom dollar I'm going to send you music that reminds me of you, and I would be overjoyed to recieve the same.

Music! Pt.2- if you happen to play, sing, or dance, let's make something beautiful together! If not, I'll teach you!

Improv/rp- just making stuff up as we go, not caring if other people hear our conversations.

Trampoline Park/Something Similar- I just want to try it. Don't care if I break my leg, I want to try it. I'll care if you break your leg though.

Plant Shopping- again, idk. Just the idea of choosing a succulent or two to take care of together sounds nice.

Dance Classes- maybe you're already an amazing dancer, I'll let you take the lead. Maybe you just know the basics like me, we can learn together. (I know how to do the basics for, like, salsa, cumbia, bachata, swing, and waltz, that's it. Please teach me more🤩)

Sewing/Knitting/Crocheting/Fabric Work- useful skill! And maybe we can make something for each other. (Spoiler alert: you're getting a pillow case, mask, or a scarf, I can't do much yet😂)

Rage House- let's just let loose! Make a mess! Yell! Doesn't matter, all of it's legit. I just want to destroy stuff.

Weird Cuddles- again, just the idea makes me happy. If you're lying down, I may as well just flop on you, right? Or maybe somehow we end up upside down. Cuddling while we read books or listen to music. Ok so maybe just cuddling but it feels weird because I'm touch-starved👌

Late Night Calls- I've never done this with anyone under happy circumstances. Could you help me change that? It would be nice to have the last thing before I go to sleep be reassurance and happiness.

Calendar/Planning- let's make a calendar together with pictures of the places we want to go one day. Let's talk to each other so we know what we both want and make sure we put it down.

Scuba Diving- this is something I've wanted to do since I was little- actually it was the first job I said I wanted. I don't want to do it as a career anymore, but I would love to try it with you.

Finding Random Things- little things that remind me of you. Maybe I was out and found a heart shaped rock. Or I heard a bird sing and managed to record it. Or maybe there was a cute keychain at the store that reminded me of you. And that would be enough to make me smile.

Ride a Double-Decker Bus- I've done it before, but the excitement that comes with the thought of riding one again makes me giddy. Just being able to see the city and people from a mobile throne😂

Bike Riding- let's explore nearby, just riding together. Maybe you have trails you want to show me. You can lead, I'll follow. Or vice versa. If we get lost at least we can laugh about it later.

Camping- lets share a tent and a campfire together, roasting smores as we laugh and tell each other stories. Maybe we'll try and sing a few songs too.

Punch Buggy- just playing the game properly will make me happy tbh. It's been 8 years of bending the rules😂

Board/Card Games- yes. I will get competitive. But that's half the fun. Also, I would like to play these properly as well lol

Museum Date- maybe somewhere local, or maybe we were driving by and decided to stop, or maybe we actually planned to go. Let's learn something new together, take some pictures.

Comfy- I didn't know what else to call it. Basically, take out, sweat pants, (messy buns), snacks, drinks, and a good show. Bonus if it's storming outside.

Rain- watching it rain, listening tonit rain, going outside and dancing or running in the rain, jumping in puddles- I want to do it all with you.

Little Gestures- little things we develop as we get to know each other, faces that we come to understand, hand movements we start to copy. Idk, I find it really cute.

Ok guys, sorry this isn't what, well, any of us were expecting. I guess this is my Valentine's Day post?? Idk. If you read it, I hope you liked it.

Feel free to put who you thought of in tags or comments, real or fiction. Or add to the list if you want. I would love to know😊 I know there's a lot of "I wants" but that's because for the first time, in a long time, I feel comfortable admitting that.

51. Mutual comfort characters

[mystery-vixen]

You know me Mac, Munkujerrie for the ship thingy.

👀

Aight then—

1. How do much do I ship it?: Never heard of it/ Notp / Dislike / used to ship / maybe / ship it / aww / otp / IS IT CANON YET?

They’re so cute together 🥺

2. What non sexual activities do they like to do together?

They crochet. Yes, Munk had to teach Jerrie how to do it. Yes, Jerrie makes Munk a sweater that is too big for him every year on his birthday.

They also play sports of any kind in the junkyard, but that usually includes others.

3. Who does the chores around the house?

Really goes without saying— Munkustrap. He has trouble settling and won’t sit down until everything—and I mean everything— is done. Mungojerrie will help only out of obligation because Munk needs to take a break.

4. Who’s the better cook?

I want to say Munk.. but, it’s Jerrie. He learnt a lot about different spices and flavours from Skimbleshanks. He uses that knowledge to impress Munk.

5. Who’s the funniest drunk?

They don’t drink often and when they do they don’t drink a lot. However, when Munk has had too much it’s hilarious. You remember that story about that woman who tried to put her drunk husband to bed for him to not recognize her and yell at her to “back off” because he’s married? Yeah. That’s Munk.

Jerrie just wants to hug everyone/start a fire

6. Do they have any kids?

Well, every kitten in the junkyard has pretty much been adopted by Munk... As for actual kittens? Probably not. Mungojerrie isn’t emotionally mature enough for kittens.

7. Do they have any traditions?

They make a point to ask each other how the other’s day was even if they had spent the entire day together. It’s not a lot, but they want the other to know they care. Often, Munk listens to Jerrie ramble for hours about pointless thoughts he’d had during the day.

8. What do they fight about?

Mungojerrie’s stealing habit. It gets him in trouble a lot and he’s cut back! It’s mostly a problem when he’s taken something that’s very important. Munk can look past Jerrie “finding” some nice spoons every now and again...

9. What would they do if they found their pairing tag on tumblr?

First of all, Mungojerrie would have a tumblr and Munk would have no idea what it is.

Jerrie would reblog every post he comes across and tag it “us” or “he’s so lucky”

Munk would just be confused and slightly concerned as to why

10. Who cried at the end of Marley and me?

Both of them. Whole night was Mungojerrie sobbing and asking if it was a real dog/Munk saying it wasn’t but why would they end the movie like that.

11. Who always wins at Mario cart?

You would think it was Mungojerrie, but it isn’t. Munkustrap is ruthless when it comes to mario kart. Mungojerrie won once and that was only because Munk let him.

12. One thing I like about this ship?

They even each other out. Mungojerrie is the care free, energetic energy Munk needs while Munk is the calm that Jerrie needs.

Opposites attract 😩

13. One thing I don’t like about this ship?

I don’t think there’s anything I don’t like about it. It’s so adorable how could I?

14. The song I would say fits them?

Sweater weather by the neighborhood

15. Another headcanon about the pairing?

Mungojerrie was actually very shy at first. He worried about overstepping or making a mess of things. He thought Munk was “out of his league” so to speak. Munkustrap was always patient and understanding. He never did anything without asking Mungojerrie first. —He asked Jerrie if he could kiss him on their first date.

[infiniteseriesofhalfways]

Sometimes I need to get thoughts out of my brain you know?

(this is literally just me talking about knitting for awhile and then strangely, AH and my mental health tbh)

I wrote a knitting pattern that should be going up for sale this week (I hope??) and it's so wild to me bc I really only started knitting about a year ago? Like October of 2019. I'd tried multiple times ever since I learned to crochet when I was like 10, but just always struggled and hated it until one day it just... Clicked? And now I wrote a real pattern that I'm immensely proud of and I love and genuinely think is good?

I finished one and so did my mom, and we both have multiple other colorways in the works and it's because we've both had such a good time making it. I really do think it's beautiful as a pattern and I know the shawls people could make would be astounding. And I don't mean it in a 'look what a great pattern I made, what I'VE created is so wonderful' or egotistical or whatever way, I just... Genuinely love it.

The wildest part is that is started bc I was just... Fucking around with colors I liked. There was so much shit happening in October and I could not shut any part of my brain off enough with anything else, and I was so stressed and in such a bad place, so I just fucked around and made something that might give me comfort. The idea that this could be the Start Of Something because of that blows my mind.

And I'm mostly kidding here but I'm also terrified someone is going to say something about my color choice for the original and I'm going to have to admit that I 105% made it in Rimmy Tim colors bc they were the only thing I could stand to look at at the time. How do I begin to explain that to some woman on ravelry??

Anyway here's pics of part of it

Bc the actual pattern isn't out yet but I assure you there are more purple/orange bits and much less yellow as it goes on. But like... I made this! I did something! And it was completely born out of anxiety and my dear love for Jeremy's ridiculous color scheme. Which is fuckin hilarious and also part of why I love it so much.

I don't know my point here, but it's just... The world is fuckin weird sometimes. The things that inspire us. The things that turn into bigger things way beyond our imagination. Like if I hadn't stumbled upon a rage quit video 7 or 8 years ago I never would have made this. Because I wouldn't have gotten into AH, wouldn't have seen Jeremy's content, wouldn't have such a dear love for this color scheme, wouldn't have been in the kind of shit place I was in October for some of the reasons I was, wouldn't have turned to knitting to help ease the anxiety I had, wouldn't have made this thing.

Which is not even to mention all of the other parts of my life that would be different, like if I hadn't stayed on tumblr primarily bc of the AH fandom, I never would have connected with some of the wonderful folks I have, my writing would be either in a completely different place or non existent (which rn... lmao) my sense of humor might be wildly different to what it is and I might not have connected with my best friend the way that I have. He introduced me to bands that have forever shaped the way I listen to music. I went to my first concert bc of him. Would we have the relationship we have if the way I joked wasn't shaped by AH? Like the list goes on.

Honestly who would I be today if I had never heard Michael yell "swiss fucking cheese" and immediately watched other stuff he had done? Again, not even to get into what effect it's had on my mental health like... There were points where my only reason for not killing myself was so I could at least see whatever video was coming up. Which is ridiculous in a lot of ways but also even if it's something small hold on to it you know? And I'm so fucking grateful for that. It helped get me far enough to my childhood best friend coming back into my life one particular night when it wasn't enough, which is some timing I'll forever wonder about.

I just... Who would I be? Would I be at all? Shit, would I be a wildly more successful version of me instead? I don't know. I think I'm happy though, where I am. Happier than I used to be, at least. I think that counts for something. I'm not where I want to be but at least I'm not where I used to be, etc.

Anyway I really went on and on didn't I? This started as me wanting to make a joke about my first shawl pattern being Rimmy Tim colors, and then I just started thinking things. The world is weird. Life is weird. I am honestly glad to still be here though. And I think that's good.

[coyotesongwriting]

Home - Ch. 4

Chapter 4 - Everything Changes

Chapter Summary: Life always seems to change in an instant, doesn’t it?

Word Count: 2346

Author’s Note: Thank you so much for reading this story and I hope you enjoy it. I’ve tried a new writing style for this fic and I can definitely say it’s not my cup of tea but I love the story anyways!

Disclaimer: I don’t own the characters so don’t sue me please. I just really like them haha

Previous Chapter              Series Masterlist

The days began to tick by, and your baby bump began to grow. Looking down at the bump in the mirror, you couldn’t help but imagine how different things would be if it wasn’t for that one day. If it wasn’t for that one mistake, you’d be back at the complex, and Bucky would have been there.

How would he have reacted? Would he have been excited from the start or would he have been afraid at first? No matter what, you knew he’d have been happy about it. You’d only talked about kids with him once, almost a year ago. It had been a late-night after a mission, and you’d been sitting on the roof of the complex under the stars. The only sounds that night was the soft chirping of crickets and the gentle murmur of your voices. You’d been talking about his past, and he asked what you thought about naming your daughter, Rebecca. You’d said yes without even a shadow of hesitation. The way he phrased it, he’d known the two of you would always be together, and you couldn’t help but wonder when he’d bought the ring - was it before that night? After? 

Ever since they found out you were pregnant, the team had become suffocating. It seemed like someone was texting you every hour to check on you and make sure you were okay. You understood, they were just excited. And it was Bucky’s baby too, their last tie to a fallen teammate. Over the weeks though, they began to grate on you. The worst though were Steve and Tony. Once a day, you received a text from either both or one of them, asking you to come home. The first week or so, you’d text them a simple no and an explanation, a reminder of why you’d left. Eventually, you just stopped responding to them.

At your 20 week appointment, you were excited to find out if you were carrying a baby boy or girl. You were torn between wanting a son or a daughter, a daughter would give you the chance to name her Rebecca like you and Bucky had planned, but the idea of having a little boy who looked just like Bucky was perfect too. What you didn’t expect, was to find out you were pregnant with twins. Twin boys to be exact.

The reality of the situation didn’t really hit you until you were at the apartment. Since you found out you were pregnant, you’d become emotionally prepared for life with you, a baby, and Rex. Raising a baby alone was a scary prospect, but you’d faced scarier things in your life and you’d get through it. Twins though, couples struggled with raising them and you’d be doing it on your own. For the first time in months, you considered going back. 

Fear and panic had begun to race through your mind, cycling thoughts of despair running in a circle until a panic attack set in. With shaky fingers, you’d pulled out your phone and dialed Sam. They’d been waiting for word about the gender all day, so when he answered and heard your panic, he’d begun to assume the worst. It had taken you twenty minutes to calm down enough to tell him you hadn’t lost the baby, that you were carrying twins. For the first time, Sam asked you to come home. 

When you said no, he asked you to just think about it. And you did. Going home would be so simple, they’d welcome you back with open arms. But going home meant being surrounded by Bucky’s ghost again. You’d either move back into the apartment you had shared with him, or you’d have to ask to have a new apartment. You weren’t sure which idea scared you more. Going home would mean waiting there every time they went on a mission, terrified that they wouldn’t all walk back through that door again.

On the other hand, you couldn’t help but think about all the things you and the boys would miss out on. They’d never have Sam to teach them how to throw a ball, Tony to teach them how to drive a car. Steve would never make sure they helped mind their manners, and Nat would never get to teach them how to fight. You’d never get to see your family all together. How could you deny the kids that? 

But how could you go back? Go back and admit you can’t do it? Go back and be surrounded by your loss? Over time, you knew it would swallow you whole, and that’s why you had left after the funeral. If you had stayed, if you went back, you knew you’d lose yourself. And you weren’t sure you’d find yourself again.

In the end, you decided to stay in Sedona. Nat began to call you daily after she heard about the panic attack. She always said she was just trying to keep in touch, but you knew she was really hoping you’d slip up and let her know where you were. There was no doubt in your mind she’d come if she knew where you were. And you couldn’t have that, couldn’t have her walking in. Because if she could find you, so could your enemies and with the babies on the way that was a risk you couldn’t take. If any of the avengers ever found out where you were living, you’d have to leave. 

The more they began to try and get your location out of you, the more paranoid you became. Tony never tried to hide the fact he wanted to find you, and you respected that. Sam and Nat were sneakier about it, trying to ask you little questions that would give them little hints. Over the months you worked on an escape plan in case they found you. You set up a new identity, slowly beginning to add her into databases and building a backstory for that life that you could use if the time ever came. 

As your pregnancy progressed, you started working shorter shifts. Luckily Fury had been able to help you hide your money under the new identity when you left, so you didn’t have to worry. You’d been paid handsomely for your time in the Avengers, and it was more than enough for you to start over with. With twins on the way, you knew you’d need the extra money.

Summer rolled into Autumn and the Avengers had become more determined in their search for you. At one point you’d even reached out to Fury again, asking him to tell them to back off. They didn’t listen. Slowly, you began to answer their calls less and less. Between moving to a bigger apartment, working shifts at the diner, and the new restrictions your doctor had started to place on you, you just didn’t have time to talk to them. Or at least that’s what you told them. Other than a quick walk around the block and your shifts at the diner, you were supposed to stay inside and stay off your feet. So, you began to take up little odd skills you’d always been curious about - knitting, crochet, sewing, you even tried piano. 

By the time Halloween rolled around, you were officially on maternity leave. Your doctor had let you work for longer than expected because of how well the pregnancy was progressing, but eventually, they decided the more relaxed things were for you, the better. Tony and Steve had given up on calling you months ago, you never answered and so long as you still answered for Sam or Nat, they didn’t want to push you too far away. 

Thanksgiving was hard. You’d always made a big deal out of it with the team, and you’d have a big turkey and play games all day. Clint was always away with his family, but he’d usually video call in to say hi. That afternoon, you locked yourself in the bathroom after hiding anything identifying and video called the Avengers for the first time in months. Watching them, you felt like an outsider for the first time. Without you, their lives had gone on. There was no trace in what you saw that you had ever existed.

On December 6, one month before your due date, your water broke. You’d had a cesarean section planned for your due date, but the boys didn’t want to wait. Your next-door neighbor drove you to the hospital, and while you were on the way you called Nat to let her know what was going on. Even though you’d drifted apart over the months, you’d promised to let her know when the babies were on the way. 

Your labor was progressing nicely, everything going well. The doctors were careful to monitor the twins throughout the entire labor, and you were able to deliver two healthy baby boys at 8:28 and 8:46 pm on December 6. After the twins were born you asked a nurse to send a quick text for you, letting Nat and Sam know.

Smiling down at the bassinets after the nurses returned them from being checked, you were greeted by your two gorgeous and healthy baby boys. With the nurse's help, you were able to get both of the boys settled in your arms. They shared their father’s familiar shade of brown hair, and as you held them close the familiar stab of pain struck your heart as you realized their father would never see them, never hold them close. He’d never teach them to ride a bike, he’d miss it all. 

In the early morning hours, you were awoken by a familiar voice in the hall. A too familiar voice. Moving slowly, you sat up in bed, glancing over at the boys in the bassinets next to you before pulling the sheet up to cover you more securely. 

“Thank you, Ma’am. I promise we won’t be an issue.” Steve walked through the door, followed by Tony, Nat, and Sam. 

Waiting until the door was shut behind them, you turned to face them, your voice a low growl “What in the hell are you guys doing here?” 

“Come on, kid. Don’t be that way. We’re your family, I thought you’d be happy to see us.” Tony spoke up.

“So what, you thought you’d just roll up and put my kids in danger? You being here puts us all in danger. Do you really think word won’t get out that the fucking Avengers came to visit me in the hospital?!” you fought to keep the fury in your voice contained, careful to not wake the twins. 

“We were careful, [Y/N]. We know better than to take unnecessary risks. There’s a reason we’re here at 3am, and it isn’t just to wake you up. Only that nurse knows we’re here and we ran checks on her, she won’t say a word.” Nat’s voice was placating, like talking to a wild animal.

You said nothing, merely turning to look at the twins again, sleeping peacefully in their bassinets. 

“If you want us to go, we will.” you felt the bed next to you dip as Sam took a seat, his hand resting on your leg, “I don’t want to stress you out, but we miss you. Seriously. And I wanted to be here for you.” 

“What’s done is done” you sighed, knowing what had to come next but knowing there was nothing you could do until you were discharged, “I missed you too.” 

Steve moved closer to the bassinets, staring down at the boys, “What are their names?” 

You nodded to the crib on the left, “That’s James and his brother is George” you paused before shooting a half-smile at Nat, “Sorry. Maybe one day you’ll get a Natasha.”

Nat laughed quietly, looking down at the baby in the crib, “One day. Until then I can live with two Nathaniels.”

“So, how’d you find me?” 

“When you called to tell us it was time, the radio was on in the background. It was a local station, there’s not too many hospitals out here and it wasn’t too hard to find which one had a woman giving birth to twins” Sam offered, and you sighed

“Where’s Clint?” you asked, puzzled by his absence.  

“Clint said we were making a mistake, said he wouldn’t be a part of it,” Tony explained, smiling down at the newborns.

You didn’t respond to him, but in your head, you thanked Clint for honoring you and your wishes. With his family being kept secret, he understood the need to keep your lives separate. Nat truly must have believed they’d been careful enough, but there was no way to be sure of your safety, not like that.

For two hours, the Avengers hung out with you in the private room. At 5am, the nurse poked her head in and let everyone know her shift ended in half an hour. The Avengers said their goodbyes, letting you know what hotel they said they’d be staying in. After promising to come visit as soon as you were discharged, they left. As they left, you knew you’d never see them again.

When the doctor discharged you later that morning, you loaded your babies up into your car that your neighbor had been kind enough to drop off for you. When you arrived back at the apartment, you grabbed Rex from your neighbor and thanked her for all of her help and grabbed the go-bag you’d stashed in the closet weeks ago. You’d made not only one for yourself and Rex, but one for the kids as well. Throwing them in the back of the car and letting Rex into the front seat, you took one last look at the gorgeous cliffs surrounding Sedona and began the drive out of town. 

An hour after leaving town, you stopped to fill up your gas tank before you continued on your journey. While the gas tank filled, you pulled out your phone and shot off one last text message before turning it off and leaving it behind in the trash can.

I asked you not to follow me. I asked you to not put my family in danger. I have to take care of my boys. Please, let me go. I love you, but we have to go. Stay safe xxx

~~~~~

Next Chapter ->

Taglist OPEN:  @he-is-chaotic-she-is-psychotic @queenoftheunderdark @redfoxwritesstuff​ @brokenthelovely  @collinsstanharbour​  @samsgoddess​ @redhairedfeistynerd​ @winterisakiller​

[littlebitoffanfic]

The Hilliker Brothers (Wrong Turn) Headcannons

Fandom: Wrong Turn Characters: Saw Tooth, One Eye, Three Finger Relationships: the brothers/reader Request: Have you ever seen the Wrong Turn series? Theres basically no fanfiction out there for the Hilliker brothers (sawtooth, one eye, three finger) and saw you have done for a lot of horror fandoms before. Yey! Can you write some headcannons for meeting them in the asylum and the basically take you as girlfriend to them all? A/n: I enjoyed this sooo much. Please request more wrong turn haha

-        Your cell was directly opposite the Hillikers when you were dragged into the asylum, kicking and screaming. The staff took no pity on you for your age (having only been a young girl) who had been abandoned for no other reason than because it was convenient.

The brothers watched as you were tossed a little too hard into your cell.

-        For the first day or two, you were far too dazed and emotional to fully register everything around you. one evening, you were lying on your bed, dozing off when you heard soft grunts coming from the cell opposite you. Glancing up, it would be the first time you would fully see the brothers as they bickered over some bread. Your portions were the same, and you looked at your untouched bread in your cell. How the orderly’s thought that the amount that was barely enough to feed you was enough to feed three of them, you didn’t know. It would appear that Three finger (as you had heard the orderlies spit the names at them in mockery) had won his right to feast. The other two appeared to give up and allowed the youngest the bread. It was fair. Getting up with a clear goal in your mind for the first time since you had arrived, you pulled your bread into three chunks (2 of which were bigger than the third). You felt their eyes on you the entire time before you walked up to the bars, glancing down the hall to make sure no guards were there to catch you. Carefully, you slipped your arms through the bars and showed them the bread. The two eldest came to the bars of their cell, and you threw the pieces to them.

-        From that moment on, there was a silent connection between you and the Hilliker brothers. Something that went deeper than bread. For some reason, they had all chosen you. for what? You weren’t sure. But they were furiously protective over you, even through the bars of a cell. One time, 2 guards came to take you away to electroshock therapy, but they hadn’t succeeded. While pulling you, kicking and screaming out your cell, they got too close to the Hillikers cell and the boys grabbed them. Both guards survived the encounter, but not with all their fingers and chunks of fresh. They managed to scramble away. You did the opposite, running to the Hilliker’s cell. A hand grabbed your arm, not too hard or trying to pull you through. Almost like reassurance. You glanced over your shoulder to see One Eye.

-        That day, the nurse had promised you wouldn’t go to shock therapy if you returned to your cell. Which you did.

-        Then the new nurse arrived. She stood too close to the brother cell while she was discussing their treatment with the doctor. And you could see the pin in her hair. Standing on the set of horizontal bars that ran a foot from the floor, you reached out and managed to grab her hair, pulling her to your cell. Of course, she only came so easily because she wasn’t expecting it. But you managed to pull the pin out just before the doctor pushed you back, freeing here. “Don’t stand too close to the bars. Especially down here. These four are protective of each other. Caused some kind of hell for my guards and nurses.” The doctor snapped, not truly caring if she was hurt or not. “I understand. Maybe it is best to move them apart. Move the girl to another place.” The new womans words were met by snarls from the brothers but her and the doctor left. Once they were gone, you scrambled to the cell, trying to unlock it but you didn’t know how. Then you heard the grunts from across. Looking up, you saw Three Finger holding out his hands while his brothers gestured to him.

-        You threw the pin that gave them their freedom and your own.

-        They turned the hospital on its head. Freeing all the inmates, they kept you close by them as they tormented the halls, going in search of the new nurse and the doctor.

-        From then on, you stayed with them, even after all the other inmates ran off.

-        For the first 8 or 9 years, everything was ‘innocent’, at least as far as a friendship goes. Because that’s what you were. But when you all reached adulthood, something seemed to change.

-        It was gradual, and felt natural as you found yourself falling in love with each of them for their own reasons.

-        When you had been reading in the large library the asylum had, you saw something that summed up what was happening perfectly. It said that a woman looks for 3 things for a man, protection, love and humour. You got all three of those things from each brother. Of course,t hey could fill anothers shoes, but mainly they stayed the same.

-        Saw Tooth was the oldest, the protector. He made sure you were safe and well looked after along with his brothers.

-        One Eye gave you unconditional love. He was sweet, and incredibly affectionate to you.

-        Three Finger was humour, without a doubt. His funny and twisted humour made you laugh so hard.

-        It wasn’t a four-some, per say. It was like you had a relationship with each of them individually, and the brothers didn’t mind sharing you.

-        You get away with everything. You’ll sit on the work bench in the kitchen while Three Finger prepares meals. While One Eye and Sawtooth are only allowed one bite each, you are allowed to eat as much as you desire. Of course, you’ll try sneak extras for Saw Tooth and One Eye.

-        Hopping between beds depending on your mood. You have your own bed, but sometimes you’ll crawl in with one of them.

-        When you were younger, the four of you would play hide and seek around the asylum. That never changed as you got older. You and Three Finger were good at finding new spots to get in and it was almost like ‘training’ in case someone were to find them and hid long enough to escape. They never did though.

-        You tend to their wounds. They cant feel any pain, but you still warm them of the dangers of an open wound and insist on seeing to it. One Eye is the worst for getting injured but he wont stop smiling while you tend to him.

-        They don’t know their birthdays, but you give them each one because you want each of them to feel special.

-        Stitching up their clothes. And make new ones. If you knit or crochet a special pair of gloves for Three Finger during winter, he will melt for you.

-        They communicate with each other through grunts and groans, and you understand them perfectly. You speak to them and can understand their responses.

-        One night, you mention how you had always dreamed of a little cottage somewhere in the woods. And within 2 weeks, they were making it happen. You’re strapped in by Three finger while Saw Tooth and One Eye sat in the back of the truck with all your luggage and things. Saw Tooth and Three Finger had went and found an old cottage by a river. They led you inside, One Eye holding his hands over your eyes. They expected you to be happy, but a little overwhelmed at everything that the cottage would need doing. It was old, and needed a lot of cleaning and work done. But they didn’t expect you to cry the happiness.

-        You have your own room, which is kept clean and tidy and has a lock on the door and a gun in the draw in case something happens. Your safety is the most important thing to them. But that doesn’t mean you stay in there all the time. You will often crawl into bed with each of them. Although your bedroom is mainly used for intimate times.

-        If you go swimming in the lake, you can be guaranteed they will be watching.

-        Asking Saw Tooth to teach you to shoot a bow and arrow, only to find yourself too distracted by his large frame pressed against your back and his arms wrapped around when he adjusts your grip. This results in sex against a near by tree.

-        When they do go out ‘hunting’, they bring you back anything they think you might like.

-        Saw Tooth and One Eye don’t like taking you out hunting, but Three Finger loves it. Especially when you help him chase someone down. He’ll be cackling the entire time and once the jobs done, he’ll lift you up and kiss you. Once you two drag the body back to the older brothers, they will always be impressed. And relieved.

-        If someone threatens you, or even gets too close to you, the brothers will become enraged. they will make sure the person suffers.

[bugaboowritings]

Are You A Superhero? - Not So Miraculous AU

Doing What A Superhero Would- Walking a Kid Back Home in a Chilly Winter Night

“Are you a superhero?”

It was a simple question and honestly one that would be laughed at, but she wouldn’t even dare to do that. Not when that question brought back a feeling she thought died a while back.

What do you do when you have no powers? You kick ass in a Ladybug mask, of course! All as you keep it a secret . . . well, try to at least. It was a secret before some kid saw you . . . .

—-

  Her ears tingled as she went from hearing the loud sound of smashed glass to the serene silence that snow brought into the air as it falls and packs down on driveways and window shutters. Her senses had to readjust while the sharp air dove into her warm lungs and her shoes felt hot and heavy as the frost crunched under her weight. It felt a bit anticlimactic, she just escaped having a knife to her throat and now she was surrounded by the calm, dancing snowflakes.

   A chill came up her spine.

“Are you a superhero?”

  Her hand hovered over her belt before she stopped herself a millisecond before pulling out something with a trigger. Like if a pin coated with poison poked her spine, Marinette stood paralyzed.

  It was a child.

  A kid on the concrete sidewalk with a backpack over their small shoulders.

 She didn’t think anyone would cross this part of town. Wait, no- Marinette knew that no one would cross this street for the minutes she planned on staying. She has been scouting the area for weeks and no one passes here during the morning, night, or noon. Not a single car or a single piece of trash. Not a drunk or a lost bystander. No one wants to walk on this side of the city. Especially at breaking dawn.

  No one expect the awful people in the abandoned building behind her. Still- they never left the building unless some black van pulled up on Tuesday at 8:15.

Luckily, it was 7:30.

Meaning no witnesses.

No worries.

No danger.

No innocent people in danger.

 However, even with all the precautions, Marinette was spotted leaving the crime scene. Her eyes swept the street back and forth, ready to jump away into the darkness if anyone else came along. Her heels were ready to push her back- Yet, she stood there as the kid with the big bug eyes stared right back at her.

Paralyzed and surprised.

 Marinette could only imagine what the kid was thinking, watching a stranger lurk in the streets of Paris. Especially as the day dipped down and hues of purple and oranges brushed across the winter sky.

  For a split second, they seem like they were two worlds crashing into each other. The kid’s naive nature drew a sharp contrast to Marinette’s fists and mask. Her face was grown and her features were sharp while the kid still had baby fat on their cheeks. The kid wore color layers as she sported sable color-palette with touches of red. Yet, even with their differences, they both felt their face get scrapped and the warmth thinning from their body as the wind blew a little harder.

They both need to get out of the cold.

  Marinette’s hair and ears froze stiff as the snow settled gently on her black hair. Forming a little white halo, serving as a contradiction to what she really was. The heat she had before died in the palms of her hands. The adrenaline from punching and wrestling feather-out in her breaths that fog up the air.

  Leaving her system in nice, long dragon breaths.

 “A superhero?” Marinette whispered as her teeth pulled down her lips. Tasting her lip balm and feeling it stick to her tongue and teeth. She hasn’t heard that anyone call her that in like forever.

“You know, like the ones from the comic books?” The kid repeated. Shuffling their feet together in what seems like an early form of anxiety, but the kid’s eyes didn’t leave Marinette’s. Deep and pearly eyes that wouldn’t leave until they got an answer.

 The child had to be around 6 or 7 years old. Honestly, Marinette couldn’t really tell with all the colorful layers they wore. Even with their stacks of scarves protecting their lips and nose from the chilling wind, a little slip of skin showed that the bridge of their nose glowed bright red.

 A superhero? From a comic book?

 Mari tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, swallowing the words that clouded her mind.

Her- A superhero?

 God, that sentence brought back something she thought crawled in a corner and died. Her blue eyes glanced back at the kid with the oversized backpack. Whatever their age, they were definitely too young to remember her. Too young to wake up to the reports of a cat and bug jumping over roofs and swinging off and over towers. Too small to scream and jump up and down when they spot a girl in red and black spots. Too much of a baby to understand that she and her partner were the reason the world still stood. Too little to be wearing her out-dated merch. Too green to even remember who she was.

 And definitely too young to call her a superhero.  

 Little sniffles brought Marinette back to reality, snapping her out of her thoughts as she proceeded her answer. Her senses came back to her, waking up from the numbness of the winter cold and cutting off the memories that swelled in her chest. Overwhelmed by the small moments on rooftops she treasured, only to remember that they were gone. Reminding herself where she was now and who she was now.

 Anything, but a superhero.

Marinette bit her lip a little harder, scolding herself for not saying anything. She was most likely scaring the kid just by standing there and saying nothing at all.

Honestly, who wouldn’t be?

  You see a woman walking into an abandoned building, only to come out with blood from the other guy on her knuckles.

Who wouldn’t be scared?

Her eyes clicked down to the child on the sidewalk.

Yeah, but this kid didn’t seem a bit terrified.

  The kid’s face remained emotionless or look like it. Their hat covered their eyebrows so Marinette couldn’t really tell what they were feeling even if she wanted to know. Marinette’s eyes trace the lines of their face, not helping herself when she saw the pattern on the hat was definitely crocheted and then the scarves around their neck were knitted. Then the gloves on their thin fingers were hand-me-downs due to the style and color. Those same gloves were used as tissues as the kid occasionally brought their hand to face to wipe their nose after sniffing a few times. Their dark blue jacket puffed up around their shoulders and stretched over their thumbs, another sign that the kid had layers on layers under.

  It brought this sort of warm feeling in her. Reminding her how her father would rummage around the closets just to find her “one more thing” before she went outside to play in the snow. Then how her mother would pull that stiff beanie over her ears and kiss her forehead. Sending her off when they open the front door and let the cold breeze in.

That warm feeling brought cold water down her back.

It’s late.

 Too late for someone this small to be out here alone at night. Especially here. Judging from the clothing, someone at home would definitely be worried. And if they waited any longer than the child would definitely end up with a nasty cold, even with all those layers of jackets.

 “What makes you think I’m even one?” Directing her mind back to their question at hand. Not helping the stressed chuckle that slipped her lips as she crouched down to their height. Hoping that her small laugh would put the kid at ease. Even if she looked over her shoulder and tensed up as another gush of wind pushed up her hair.

She needs to get this kid out of here. Quickly.

  Inside of the building behind her was the unconscious group of human-organ traffickers, all tied up and ready for the police to come to handle the rest. Knowing that around 8:15 PM, a black van will pull up expecting anything but handcuffs. Marinette knew that she was safe, but this child?! She knew she did her job and a good one so the criminals inside were definitely out cold, but the last thing she could ever do is leave someone out here with them nearby.

Or was that all a dumb reason to have a chance to direct this kid home? Or to hear them call her a superhero, just one more time. A title that seems to bring a sense of nostalgia and-

 The gears in Marinette’s brain spun a little faster as she thought over the real problem in front of her.

 Why is this kid even here? Where are their parents? And-

“You fought that guy that was hurting the owner of the corner store.”

“I-,”

 The store robbery.  The unexpected rescue that almost blew her cover. Chat chewed her out for that and was his trump card whenever they got into fights for that whole week, but she knew that if she didn’t jump in - he would have instead.  

“-And now too.”

“Now?”

 “Yeah, right now.” The child repeated, shaking their head with a grin. Their little gloved hand reaching up to adjust the wool on their mouth.

 “You’re dressed like a superhero. With that mask, boots, and red superhero armor. You even got a cape!” The child exclaimed. Pointing eagerly at Marinette’s outfit. Her boots were a little out of place to brush it off as her daily shoes. Her superhero ‘armor’ was nothing but the protective padding around her torso and shoulders. The cape was just the silhouette of her trench coat. It’s oversized so it did give a cloak feeling to it.

 Marinette pulled the belt of her coat a little tighter.

 “I- Look it’s late and you shouldn’t be here,” Marinette huffed. Nodding her head towards the nearest bus stop.

 “Did you get off at the wrong stop or are you lost?”

 “I’m walking home today. My Dads are at work and told me to wait for them-but ... I couldn’t really stay at school so I decided to take the bus.” They stumbled over their words, getting really quiet before they opened their mouth again- but Marinette already got the picture.

“Come on then,” she sighed, tucking her own scarf over her face before reaching out her hand. Before she could ask, a pair of small fingers curled around her palm. Feeling those hand-me-down gloves not doing any good as the fabric felt thin and light. Unconsciously rubbing them between her thumbs to warm them up.

“Let’s go before your family gets scared, okay?”

“Okay.” The child answered before grabbing her arm a little tighter.

——-

  “Your teacher sounds nice.”

  “Ms.G is mean at times though.” The child added, correcting Marinette’s statement as they kicked the stone under their shoes. Hopping over the black gum on the sidewalk before adding the fact Ms. G yells when the other kids don’t listen to her during recess.

  Marinette hummed again. Letting the kid speak to fill the chilly air and silent between them with the story of their day. Asking short questions to get them to speak more and more until they reached the kid’s home street. This one-sided conversation help pass time a little faster and put the kid at ease. Once getting there, Marinette couldn’t help but notice it seemed a bit familiar. Maybe it was because of the decorations and ribbon hanging from the windows and doors.

  Another chill ran up her neck, the cold nipped her skin a little more before she tugged on her coat a little tighter, feeling the padding on her belly rather than the squish that her jeans would cover. Fumbling with her buttons before she sighs another cloud into the air. Keeping her hand entangled with the kid’s before she drops down to their height.

  “There, by the light post, is that your house?”

 The kid looked up and with a crooked smile- nodded. The pom-pom on their hat bounced before quickly thanking her. Telling her that she just had to meet “Dads” so they could show them that they got home safe thanks to her.

 But Marinette brushed off that invitation. Explaining how she has to get home too before someone starts worrying for her.

 It pained Mari to have to let go of the kid’s hand even though she just met them some minutes ago. It seems to hurt a little more when they asked for her name and she couldn’t answer. So she did the best thing she could do, she played the superhero role.

 “It’s a secret.”

“I can keep a secret.” The kid responded coy.

 “Yeah well, it’s a superhero secret and if I tell you then my identity would be in danger.”

 The kid’s face lit up much like the light decorations around the neighborhood.

 “So you ARE a superhero then!”

 “Ha, sure.” Marinette smiled. Standing up to her full height before motioning them to start walking to their door.

  But the kid didn’t move away but just step a little closer.

 “So what is your superhero name, then?”

 “I-“ Stumped on what to say next before it hit her. It all seems like an old memory, a classic case of deja vu. Except for this time, it wasn’t a blond wearing leather asking.

  “I’m Ladybug.” She beamed, cocking her head to the side- letting her bangs slide over, giving the kid a better look at her mask.

  It took four tries to get right, but it became the perfect mold of her face with patience and practice. Slipping easily on and staying on. It was even red and spotted too, much like the old gear she had back in high school.

  “Ladybug…” the child repeated. Chewing the name in their mouth before accepting it.

 “Thank you so much, Ladybug! I’ll promise that-“

 Then she was gone. The woman that just walked them home and to safely had disappeared into thin air. All without a trail of snow prints to follow.

 Before the kid could call her out, the front door opened. Quickly feeling the warm lights cover their back as two sets of arms pulled them near.

 “God, you had us so worried!”

 “Where were you?!” A red-head shouted, alternating from pulling his child close and yelling on how scared they were.

 “Dads! You will never believe who I met?” Exclaimed the child, ignoring their parents’ shouts as they went on explaining the lady that walked them home and save them when that robbery happened last week and who-

  The child threw their hands up and around, it was quite cute to watch. Marinette couldn’t stop the small chuckle that leaked from her coral lips as she watched the ‘show’ from the rooftop. Noticing how the kid’s parents seem confused, angry, and then relieved and then back to confused when the kid said her name.

 “-then I got home thanks to the help of Ladybug! She saved me and she-“

 “Ladybug?”

 “Yeah, Ladybug! She was wearing this mask and had this coat and then she had this superhero armor over her clothes!”

  The parents pulled their kid in the house and even with closed doors, Marinette could still hear the kid boast about her.

 The kid with the bug eyes couldn’t stop gushing over the red bug.

Wait, until the cat hears about this.

[purplesurveys]

942

“ar_”

ARB Have you ever had strawberry rhubarb pie? Do you like it? I have not. I’m afraid I don’t even entirely know what rhubarb is; I wouldn’t call it a part of Filipino culture. I don’t know if I would like this kind of pie; I prefer my pies more savory than fruity. Do you like carbs a little too much? Yes ma’am. I can’t exist without heaps of rice in every meal. Last garb you wore? The last fancy/formal thing I wore was my business casual look for last Thursday’s interview. I felt a little overdressed arriving at the office because the other applicants just wore a shirt and jeans...but ultimately I think it was better that I looked more prepared than they did lol. Do you know anyone named Barb? There’s a teacher in my old school named Barbie but the other teachers call her Barb. ARC Would you like to see the Arc de Triumphe? Sure.

Are you a narc? That’s not a common slang where I live, but I’m gonna say no. ARD Have you ever read “The Tales of the Beetle and the Bard”? Nope, I’ve never heard of it. Do you have a credit or debit card? Debit. I don’t exactly know how credit cards work just yet, so my dad has kept me from getting one hahahaha. What’s the last card you received? For which holiday? We don’t really exchange cards over here. We tend to go ahead and give physical gifts, no matter how simple it is. I think the last one I received was a birthday card from Athenna, five years ago. That was a different time. What’s something that is hard for you? Letting go. I have serious issues with abandonment and I always feel like it’s the end of the world when someone leaves my life or something I’ve been accustomed to abruptly ends. I’ve never been good at handling all of that. Do you ever feel like a tub of lard? I am almost positive that I’ve never felt like one before. What is in your front yard? How is it landscaped? Just a few plants and a tree that my grandpa planted for my mom shortly before he passed. Last piece of meat that you’ve charred? I’ll get back to this question in a few years where I’ve hopefully learned how to cook a few things, including meat. Have you ever lived with barred windows? No. That sounds awful. Is it easy for you to let your guard down? Just with the right people. Otherwise I prefer keeping a wall up; no one else needs to know who I am behind closed doors. Have you ever cut yourself on a shard of glass? No. Again, sounds like my worst nightmare. This happened to my mom a year ago and I remember being unable to help her because I would’ve proceeded to just faint anyway lmao Favorite barnyard animal? Cows. What do you like to do in your backyard? Cooper loves our backyard, so I bring him there to play and run. He loves staying there so much more than actually walking around the neighborhood, which is a little confusing but still endearing. What do you think of people who use the word “retard”? They’re stuck in the late 2000s and early 2010s and need to be schooled on Twitter as soon as possible lol. Last person you sent warm regards to? The HR person who hooked me up with my internship. What do you tend to disregard? Fake news or people who routinely share fake news, for obvious reasons. Have you ever worn a leotard before? For what? I’ve worn a swimsuit as a leotard, but I’ve never owned a leotard that was meant to be that.

ARF Last time you barfed? I kept hurling last week when I did a lot of crying and had a few breakdowns, but nothing ever came up. The last time I puked would be over a year ago when I was at Pop-Up with friends. Last food you scarfed down? My mom’s burger from last night. Do you rock a fashion scarf? Nah, not really my article of choice. What does your winter scarf look like? I don’t own one. ARK What pair of animals would you like to bring on Noah’s ark? I would try to save as many of them as possible; but in the cruel circumstance that I only have limited choices, I would prioritize stray cats and dogs first as well as cats and dogs in animal shelters. Did you used to watch Arthur the aardvark? I did not watch the show – I’m not sure if they ever aired it here – but I liked reading Arthur books. Those were one of my favorites to read at the library. Have you ever been to a ballpark? No. Well baseball is not a popular sport here so it’s not like we’ve got lots of those, and the few that we have are a little dilapidated due to a lack of interest or support in the sport...we do have a field in my old school that’s designated for our softball games, but it’s hardly a legit softball field. Is your bark worse than your bite? If this is a saying or slang, I don’t know what it means. What’s a personal benchmark of yours? Hmm I know what a benchmark refers to, but I’m not exactly sure of the context in this question. Where is your birthmark? My most distinguishable birthmark is on the upper left region of my back, but I also have one by my butt. I used to have one on my right arm that was green-blue when I was an infant, but now it’s nothing more than a super slight discoloration that is only noticeable if you look hard enough. Do you fold book pages over, or use a bookmark? I remember the page number. I don’t like the gaps that bookmarks create, and I like keeping the pages of my book pristine. Are you afraid of the dark? Only if the context is meant to be scary, like how abandoned houses or forests are dark. I like the dark when I’m trying to fall asleep though. Do you prefer dark or light colors? I prefer neither extreme. I like muted and pastel tones. Last time you disembarked a ship? 2016. Last time you embarked on an adventure? End of February, 2020. Do you celebrate any of the hallmark holidays? Some of them, but I take them seriously a lot less than the actual holidays. I celebrate them primarily because I have people in my life who value those Hallmark holidays, so I greet them so they don’t feel forgotten, like greeting my parents on Mother’s/Father’s Day. If I had it my way I’d ignore those holidays completely, though. Do you watch the Hallmark channel? No. I don’t think we even have that channel here. Do you like the song “Hark The Herald Angels Sing”? I have nothing against it. Which landmark would you like to visit? The pyramids at Giza. Last mark you made on a paper? I made random scribbles because I was just checking if my pen had ink. Do you know anyone named Mark? I don’t think so. No Marks are coming to mind. Have you ever heard a lark sing? Nope. Do you know how to parallel park? Yeah but I’m kind of cheating a bit because I own a really tiny car that fits nearly anywhere ha. What’s your favorite activity to do at the park? We don’t have any public parks...if we did, I imagine I’d have picnics and take my dogs there for long walks. Last postmarked piece of mail you received? I don’t really receive mail of my own. Last person you left a remark for? Idk maybe my dad when I remarked how spicy the sisig he made for dinner was. Do you speak with a lot of snark? Only in private or with my closest friends. I try not to be snarky with workmates. Do you ever have the Baby Shark song stuck in your head? That does happen sometimes, yes. Until today ha. Last time you went around your house stark naked? Oof, I never walk around the entire house naked. I only do so in the bathroom and within my own room. What’s your signature trademark? Everyone knows me as loving Paramore, so maybe that. Does it bother you when there’s a watermark on an image that you want to use? Sometimes yes, sometimes I realize someone took effort for that image and probably just needs to earn a little bit for it. ARL Who did you snarl at last? I don’t snarl a lot these days. Are your fingers gnarled? No. I don’t actually know what this means but my fingers are pretty healthy so I’m guessing it’s not whatever gnarled is. ARM Have you ever broken an arm? Nopes. Do you keep people at an arm’s length? In some ways, like how I refuse to talk about the things I’m going through and I don’t like showing most people that I struggle.

Last time you went to a farm? I’m not sure if I’ve been to one. We drive through fields and farms all the time, in the provinice; but we’ve never actually stopped over and went to a farm. Do you self-harm? Yes. Surprisingly, I haven’t done so this month. But yes, I have in general. What time is your alarm set for? For a while it wasn’t set to anything but now that I have an internship I’ll probably need to set it to at least around 8 AM. Do you own any firearms? No thanks. Would you get a tattoo on your forearm? Sure. Do you have a certain charm about you? Don’t you kind of have to ask other people when it comes to possessing charm? I certainly wouldn’t endorse this myself, lol. Do you need to be disarmed? I have nothing on me, so no. ARN Were you raised in a barn? I was not. I grew up in a house in a suburban-ish neighborhood. Do you use “damn” or “darn” more often? Damn. I’ve never used darn...or if I have, it would’ve been well over a decade ago. Do you knit or crochet with yarn? I don’t crochet or knit. ARP Have you ever caught a carp while fishing? No, I’ve never gone fishing before actually.

Do you like harp seals? I’ve never heard of them until now but it’s an automatic yes for me because they are animals. Would you like to learn how to play the harp? Sure. Name something in your house that is sharp? Keys. Is anything you own covered by a tarp? No. ART Last time you fell apart? This morning. Well, it’s 2 AM now so it’s more accurate to say yesterday morning. Are you good at any sort of art forms? Not at all. I like coloring and painting, but with painting I like those that come with paint-by-number guides. I’m not very creative myself and don’t know for the life of me what colors work together and I’m terrible at creating images. Last place you used a shopping cart? Grocery store, ages ago. Have you ever created a chart in Microsoft Excel? Yes but it’s not my favorite thing in the world to do. Who is your other counterpart? I dunno if I have anyone. Angela, I guess. Do you like to play darts? I’ve never played it but it looks fun and I’m always up for a friendly game. Who’s the last person you departed from? My family, when I left the living room where we were all staying at to go back to my bedroom to resign for the evening. How often do you fart? Never. I don’t like the sensation and if I feel one coming I suppress it lol. No one has heard me do it before, and I don’t plan on making it heard hahahaha How’s your heart been feeling lately? Not well. Is there a K-Mart or a PetSmart where you live? No. Is it easy for you to outsmart a child? Idk man, they can be a little surprise at times. Where is the part in your hair? It’s on the left side. Have you ever gotten a part in a play? No, because I’ve never auditioned for one. Not interested in that kind of activity, either. Last time you had to restart your computer? It’s been a while. Would you consider yourself to be smart? In some ways, like in academics. What trend would you like to start? I don’t feel like starting one. Do you like tarts?     Not very much, but my old school has this trademark tart that I love so much. [a-zebra-is-a-striped-horse]

[lovemesomesurveys]

What Rhymes With “AY”? Warning: This survey has 114 questions

1. Do you enjoy listening to reggae music? I haven’t listened to much reggae music.

2. Have you ever rolled in hay before? No. I’m actually allergic.

3. Has anyone ever broken a promise they made? Of course. 

4. Last time you went to a café, what did you order? Coffee.

5. Have you ever been to a matinee performance before? No.

6. Would you like a chance to ride in Santa’s sleigh? Why or why not? Would it be like the one in The Santa Clause that had a hot chocolate and cookie dispenser? ha. Swap the hot chocolate with coffee, though.

7. Have you ever taken ballet lessons before? How about any other type of dance lessons? No. That was actually something I wished I could do when I was a kid and in high school. I thought the dance team was cool.

8. Do you own any sexy lingerie? Nope.

9. Have you ever caught a bouquet of flowers at a wedding before? Nope.

10. Do you know how to do the Whip/Nae Nae? I do, actually.

11. Have you ever played croquet before? Nope. 

12. Has a horse ever neighed at you before? No.

13. How much do you weigh? I’m not exactly sure, but I am definitely underweight. 

14. Do you ever wear a beret? No.

15. When’s the last time you’ve been to a buffet? Back in February. There was a breakfast buffet at Disneyland where you got to visit with various characters while you ate. It was cute.

16. Have you ever attended a cabaret? No.

17. Have you ever eaten at Swiss Chalet? No. Never even heard of it.

18. Do you know how to crochet? How about doing macrame? No.

19. Do you have a duvet on your bed? No.

20. What was the last thing that ricocheted off of a surface? My phone did.

21. What do you put on your ice cream sundaes? I’m good with just vanilla ice cream and strawberry syrup, but sometimes I’ll add chocolate syrup as well. Bananas and whip cream are also great additions. Wow, it’s been yearsss since I’ve had one but that sounds really good right now.

22. Have you ever woken up to the “Reveille” bugle wake-up call at summer camp? No. I’ve never been to summer camp.

23. What is your favorite entrée to order at your favorite restaurant? My favorite restaurant is Wingstop and I always get the garlic parm and lemon pepper boneless wings.

24. Is crème brulee your favorite dessert? I don’t like actual creme brulee, but I like the creme brulee latte at Starbucks that they offer in the winter.

25. Do you know anyone who wears a toupee? I don’t think so.

26. Have you ever made a soufflé before? Was it good? Nope. I like the spinach and artichoke breakfast souffle from Panera, though.

27. Do you prefer ice cream or sorbet? Ice cream.

28. Do you know anyone named Renee, Jay, Clay, or Ray? I know someone whose middle name is Renee if that counts, and I also know a Jay and a Ray.

29. Have you ever had café au lait? Yes.

30. Have you ever gone to a restaurant called “Chez ______”? No.

31. Hey, how’s it going? It’s almost 730AM I should be going to sleep. My medicine I took a bit ago is making me feel a little nauseous, too, cause I took it on an empty stomach. That wouldn’t have been a problem if I just went to bed, but nooo. :/

32. When’s the last time you wore a lei? It’s been several years.

33. Did you obey your parents when you were younger? Yes.

34. Who do you want to hunt down like prey? No one.

35. Have you ever had whey before? No.

36. What message would you like to convey to someone right now? Nothing at the moment.

37. Whose survey did you take last? I don’t know who made it.

38. Have you ever been to a bay before? Yes.

39. Do you have a bae? “Or nah.” Ha, old Vine reference. Anyway, no, I do not.

40. What’s your favorite day of the week? They’re all the same to me, really, since I’m not in school nor do I have a job.

41. Have you ever had to read “The Cay”? Nope. That title doesn’t ring a bell.

42. Are you feeling okay? I’m feeling tired, hot, and kind of nauseous. 

43. Do you know anyone who is gay? Yeah, a few people.

44. Do you like the acting of Tina Fey? Sure.

45. Have you ever listened to The Fray? Yes, I like a few of their songs.

46. Do you have any frayed clothing? No.

47. Do you prefer bluebirds or bluejays? Bluebirds.

48. Is May your favorite month? No. I only like saying, “It’s gonna be May” haha. You know, the NSYNC/Justin Timberlake meme.

49. May I ask you some more questions? Sure.

50. Have you ever voted “nay” to anything before? What? Yeah. I was a board member for a club in college and there were things we voted on. 

51. Have you ever wanted to make someone pay for something that they did? I’m not a revengeful person.

52. Do you ever just lay around all day? That’s all I pretty much do everyday. 

53. Are you a happy little frickin’ ray of sunshine? No. I’m a little black raincloud. 

54. Is there something that you would like to say to someone? “There are many things that I would like to say to you, but I don’t know howwww.” 

55. When’s the last time that you were so excited that you exclaimed (or at least thought) “yay!” ? I said that the other night when my brother said he was making his bomb spaghetti. haha.

56. Have you ever felt like you’ve lost your way? I’ve been feeling that way for the past few years.

57. Do you ever wish that people would just go away? lol I’ve felt that way in some situations.

58. Have you heard an animal bray before? What animal was it? Yeah, a donkey.

59. What’s the last thing that you made out of clay? Nothing.

60. Are you starting to go gray? I’ve found a few here and there. D: It was like the minute I turned 30 I found my first one, ha.

61. Are you feeling okay right now? No. I still feel how I felt earlier when you asked how it was goin’. :/

62. Do you pray? How often? Yes, but not nearly as much as I ought to. 

63. What’s the best play you’ve seen before? The Phantom of the Opera.

64. What did you like to play with when you were younger? I was obsessed Barbies, I could play for hours. I also liked playing house and school.

65. Do you know how to sashay? “Sashay away.”

66. Would you like to slay dragons? Nah. I wouldn’t want to mess with a dragon.

67. Have you gotten your pets spayed? All my dogs were fixed/spayed. My doggo was spayed before we could take her home from the adoption shelter.

68. Have you ever begged someone to stay with you? Not begged, but I didn’t want them to leave.

69. Has the room ever started to sway before? I hateeee that feeling. 

70. When’s the last time you ate a meal on a tray? Uhhh. I don’t recall.

71. Do you know how to do math arrays? You’re speaking math so no. 

72. Have you ever experienced a delay of any sort? Yeah.

73. Do you have any tooth decay? No.

74. When’s the last time you wrote an essay? What was it about? Back when I was still in school, so it’s been 5 years now since the last time. 

75. When’s the last time you competed in a relay race? I participated in a few wheelchair race events when I was a kid.

76. Have you ever wondered how you could ever repay someone? Yes. I wish I could spoil and take care of my mom one day for everything she has done and continues to do for me. She deserves so much.

77. What did you do today? So far just Tumblr, surveys, and listening to ASMR.

78. Would you ever take in a stray animal? We don’t really have room for another pet, but I’d want to help in some way. Once we had a stray dog wander in our backyard and we took care of him until we were able to find him a good home. We also once had a cat who often went into our backyard and she ended up having kittens, so we cared for them and found them all homes, including the mama.

79. What’s the last cleaning spray that you’ve used? Lysol disinfectant spray.

80. When’s the last time you splayed your fingers? I’ll do it right now. 

81. Has your airway ever been blocked before? Yes. Such a scary, traumatizing experience. It’s why I can’t take pills now at all unless I can crush them.

82. Has anyone ever led you astray? In some ways.

83. When it’s hot out, do you sleep with blankets anyways? Noooo. 

84. Have you ever felt betrayed? Yep. Not a nice feeling.

85. When’s the last time you listened to a DJ? My cousin’s quince a few years ago.

86. What’s the last unfortunate thing that happened, to your dismay? This pandemic.

87. When is payday? The 1st of the month (disability). 

88. Do good moments or bad moments replay through your mind more often? My mind likes to dwell on all the bad stuff instead. 

89. Do you prepay for anything? I typically like to pay all my bills at the same time each month instead of waiting until the day each of them are due.

90. Have you ever walked on a runway before? No.

91. Do you know a runaway? No.

92. Have you ever ridden the subway before? How about driven on the skyway? Nope.

93. Have you ever used an ashtray before? No.

94.How do you feel about public displays of affection? I don’t mind a little bit, like a quick kiss, hand holding, arms around each other, or a hug. 

95. Where would you like to go for a getaway? I wish I could rent a beach house and have my own private beach area.

96. Do you do any gateway drugs?  Some say weed is a gateway drug, but I personally never had any interest in try anything beyond that.

97. Have you ever felt like someone wasn’t meeting you halfway? Yes.

98. What were you doing at midday? I’ll be sleeping.

99. Have you ever stopped midway through a survey before?  Yeah, I did that with this one. I started it last night, but got too tired to finish it.

100. What’s your favorite holiday? Christmas.

101. Do you like to drive on the highway/thruway? I don’t drive, but yeah I prefer taking the highway over driving through town and hitting all the red lights.

102. Have you ever put something on layaway before? I haven’t, personally, but I’ve gone shopping with my mom and added stuff of my own along with her’s that she put on layaway.

103. Have you ever been cornered in an alleyway? No.

104. When is your birthday? July 28th. 

105. Do you know anyone who was a castaway? No.

106. How long is your workday? I don’t have a job.

107. What do you typically do on the weekdays? I do the same things everyday.

108. Is there a walkway or a pathway to your front door? Yeah.

109. What do you want to be someday? A functioning adult.

110. What is something that you do everyday? Drink coffee.

111. Do you park in your driveway? Do you even have a driveway? I don’t have a car, but yeah my house has a driveway that my parent’s use for their cars.

112. Have you ever won a giveaway? Yes.

113. How important is foreplay? I wouldn’t know.

114. Hooray! You’ve made it to the end! What are you going to do now? Eat my ramen. I was waiting for it to cool a bit.

[a-zebra-is-a-striped-horse]