#been feeling heavy these days

[helianthusamoenus]

It’s baffling when I realize that the shadow was me all along. The angry voice who wants to see my loved ones suffer so they knew what I went through, the fearful voice who shrieks whenever I dare to do something, the voice who sneers at the minimal demonstration of needing space, begging to not be forgotten or abandoned, wasn’t really a shadow who loomed with its one eye watching me. She was a teenager, enraged version of myself wanting to escape, run and make justice for all the things she repressed her anger for. She’s the one who screams at anyone daring to not reply to my texts, the one who has no patience left, who is sobbing to grab someone’s hand. It’s shocking to let the ‘you’re your own worst enemy’ thought really, really sink in and internalize it. It’s hard to accept that I’m trying to make amends with her, the one who wants me to take revenge on everything and everyone for her cruel stories. She fights with me, and I don’t want to relent, but isn’t it heartbreaking that the darkest part and the most toxic side of oneself has to fight with you sometimes in order to live instead of surviving?

[cptnbeefheart]

this old world may never change and sometimes i wonder: do you ever think of me?

[buttercupshands]

rewatched Kurogiri's holiday story from ultra impact (not related to sketch at all)

(but it did inspire me)

on another note

finally!!

[growmybelly]

Getting high and stuffing myself at every chance I get is having an effect I think….

[waywardstation]

One last store update! After this I will begin sending emails to a subscriber list.

You can input your email of choice for my shop newsletter into this google form here.

A quick summary of some things:

I was unable to finish orders by printing their shipping labels by today, despite what I said last week, because of health issues that had to be addressed instead.

More of my product order was messed up, had enough items to fulfill every order but I’ve been left with ZERO extra stock on a couple items to put into my shop after.

I got enough interest in the Halloween keychains and stickers so I will be making them.

Full explanations below ^^

I have now packed every single order and reviewed all of their contents. However I was unable to send them out today as at some point last week I became very unwell. I’ve been going downhill for a while but it has never gotten to this degree this fast before. I still don’t really know what caused it and so I had been unable to pack over the weekend and couldn’t get all the shipping labels printed for them today.

I will be printing these labels out and taking chunks of the orders to the post office over the next few days.

But the more I’d packed the more I’d realized more of my product order had been messed up. I had ordered extras of everything and yet some of the products that I ordered just BARELY fulfilled every order — I had to use some of the initial samples to fulfill every order but rest assured they are the exact same as the products in size and quality. I have exactly ZERO of some products left over for shop stock when I’d ordered 10-15 extra of every item (as well as TOO MANY of some less popular products that didn’t need all these extras) which sadly means a few items will not be in stock when I open the store back up. I may put discounts on the unwanted extras I received because of this.

While I would expect by default to receive the products in the quantity that I ordered, I also understand that I ordered hundreds of products all in one order, and that is only one order that is being fulfilled out of the many other orders they get daily. I myself did not count out every single product to check because of the sheer amount of everything that was ordered — I had ordered over 500 keychains alone to fulfill the preorders and the entire order has taken up a full room when all spread out. But I still did not count beforehand and would only find out once I’d run out of a certain product, so I accept this is partly my responsibility too. This should not happen again as I never expect to make an order this big again, I had only done this for shop startup, and I will be making another order to restock these products. But it’s still sad it happened.

I apologize for this and I appreciate all of your patience once again. I am explaining all of this as I believe you are owed information about what is going on seeing as you’ve put money into this, and I myself said they would all be sent out by Monday. I just want to be transparent ^^

And one last thing — many of you wanted Halloween merchandise, so I will be moving forward with that! (I’ve decided they will not be glow in the dark though, as I’d have to make every vibrant color instead transparent for the glow to come through, and I believe the designs would suffer too much without these colors)

I have ordered from this manufacturer multiple times before over the years and they’ve always gotten it right with more reasonably-sized orders, so I am confident these will not have the same problems as this preorders period has.

Thank you again very much for your support and understanding up to this point!! <3

[vault-kid]

— "Dead mother, life in a post-nuclear Wasteland and not a friend in it. Yeah, you aren't exactly blessed."

July 13, 2258.

happy (a few hrs late) birthday to the LW, so heres Luna <3 my sad girl on her birthday, and on her mother's death anniversary.

ive had this idea for a while now. needed to represent catherine as a skeleton like in the point lookout hallucinations so bad. mother and daughter have been on my mind a lot..... sigh (i was also listening to class of 2013 by mistki ...)

so if it wasn't obvious, based on this:

[huldrabitch]

All the DA2 romances alsmost feel a bit unfullfilling to me, are there many others that prefer Hawke single with the subtext of an unspoken Varric thing?

[hellyeahsickaf]

One morning a bit under 9 years ago I woke up without knowing that was the last time I'd wake up feeling rested. I'd never feel that again. It Feels like I took that for granted really

[immediatebreakfast]

"My only chance is to prolong my opportunities. Something may occur which will give me a chance to escape." - Jonathan Harker, may 19.

This is the reason why Jonathan has been enduring so much from the Count with a shaky smile on his face.

The bold lies, the implied violence, the horrors of the supernatural, the broken boundaries, everything. Now that Jonathan has an actual, and not implied, confirmation that the Count will not let him leave the castle at all, Jonathan can finally allow himself to have what he has lost in the last days.

That tiny drop of hope that is linked with all of humanity. The feeling of "I'm not dying here if I have the chance."

So Jonathan collects information, he marks down the dates, he writes the letters, he writes on his journal, he listens, and plans around those words.

The weak possibility of an escape; even if that action could end up with him dead, probably feels so much warmer to Jonathan, than the horrible "span of life" declared by Dracula.

[fluffs-n-stuffs]

"Cuhut it out- you guys!" "Nu-uh, not until you're all perked up first! You don't want those gym challengers meetin' with an ol' mopey leader, do ya?" "Whitney's right, dear friend. No need to hide that beautiful smile of yours, alright?~"

What it takes to cheer up Johto's beloved ghost boy 👻💕

[moe-broey]

The.. they..........

Sharena angles! She was pretty straightforward! I still have to add more bits to her hair, but, I think I'll have a better idea of how to place them once I have a body for reference. Plus, I felt I was flying waaaay too close to the sun w adding pink to her bangs like that (had an idea of adding the "gradient" by using embroidery thread/stitches, which would involve cutting the og fabric in half to attach the new one) -- so she only has one pink streak 🥲 (I'll have more room for trial and error w her other details though I think 🫡 Which I think will pull her together more!)

Meanwhile

Alfonse.

Plus the top of their heads!

I did want to avoid using hot glue but it was kind of impossible LMFAO. Also I kinda stopped caring too much about feeling like I was "cheating" after the ordeal that was Alfonse 🧍

My goal and hope is that they match and look nice together -- that, Alfonse wouldn't look too overworked/a mess of being overly detailed, while also maintaining that he has a very choppy/layered style that's more complicated than Sharena's.

[druidshollow]

being sick with something to do with your biologigal sex when youre trans has to be one of the most isolating experiences out there

[housecow]

celebrating hitting 240 with too much wg shake and at least 2 pounds of pasta !!

[starbuckaroo]

I think I would be happier w bucktommy all these episodes down the line if Tommy still interacted with or asked after Eddie. I know there’s a lot the show doesn’t put onscreen so there’s no reason why it couldn’t have plausibly happened or couldn’t still happen (and I hope it does), but Tommy was Eddie’s friend first! They hung out a lot!

And yet, since he got together with Buck, we haven’t gotten to see them interact.

Granted, there hasn’t been a lot of screen time for Tommy and that’s fine, it’s a short season w very little room to breathe. This isn’t some sort of angry anti bucktommy tirade. But it does make me just a tad uncomfortable the way things are at this moment. Bc it’s not a stretch to theorize that maybe Tommy was hoping things Eddie might go somewhere and when they didn’t, he tried with Buck. I don’t think that’s supported by the text, but it’s also not negated, either. Idk. It’s not a huge deal at the moment, just a little snag?

Listen I am a buck fan but I am an eddie fan!!!!!!! And I am so so sad for eddie this season it’s been rly fucking rough on him! Not like buck needs to change anything (except not be a jealous freak and lash out physically if he can’t use his words), like I said I’m here for bucktommy I think they’re great. But like. Where’s the awkward “hey how do we hang out now that you two make out sometimes” or whatever?? We deserve to see that tbh! It’s a more common issue in queer circles, that ppl have to slip in and out of romantic/platonic interactions when people partner up or break up. It’s also the first time either of them have dated anyone within the LAFD and so it’s the first time this could ever have even come up!

Idk man. Just I keep thinking about how happy eddie seemed when he was hanging out w Tommy and maybe it’s just bc that ep was meant to be from Buck’s pov but i don’t know what’s worse, thinking it WAS real and now he doesn’t get to have that friendship anymore or that it WASNT real and he was never actually having that good of a time.

MY REAL POINT is that anyone who WAS or IS a buddie shipper or anyone who likes Eddie at all has to acknowledge how important buck and eddie are to each other, right? Which means that in any relationship that either of them ever have, if they want it to be serious and have long term potential, they actually need to integrate their partner with their best friend.

Maybe this is too weird for some ppl? It’s always seemed like a given, like if there’s someone new and important in my life, I def want my best friend to meet them and like them bc I want us all to be able to spend time together! I don’t want to feel split between them all the time! And esp with Tommy already having connections with most of the 118/main cast, and particularly Eddie, it would make sense for us to see them interacting!

Idk. I’m probably wanting too much from my network tv show lol I just. I will literally never take bucktommy seriously as a pairing if they don’t manage to address the Eddie of it all. And not in a “address the fact that buck loves him” contrived jealousy nonsense. I mean address the fact that their lives are bound together! And it predates anyone that either of them will ever date! Plus imagine the character growth it would take for Buck to send Tommy to Thursday basketball with like a plate of cookies and orange slices or something but not show up himself. Be like “have fun with the boys, slap Eddie’s ass for me” or whatever 😂 I would believe Buck was finally on his way to being ready for a long term adult relationship if they managed that, is all I’m saying

[luck-of-the-drawings]

ehehe i had this saved as 'you tellin me theres blood in this bayou??' anyway WOW i drew this (FOREVER AGO) with only pen (ONLY PEN) and fixed mistakes by gluing paper over them. fuckinnnn WITNESS MY PEN SKILLS LOSEERRRR!! also i loooove blood in the bayou guys i miss these characters so much.... i looooved watching them all get just so so scared and clinging to eachother for dear life while crying and crying and bleeding and crying

[dukeofdogs]

You play Witcher 3 for characters and good story, I play Witcher 3 to hear this track and have a cathartic experience while looking at sunflower fields in the sun slowly being moved by the wind with Novigrad emerging somewhere in the distance. We're kinda the same.